#(Astarion would be the one to know it if anyone.

[thenevarranaccord]

I disagree completely about Tav. One of the things that made this so clear to me was playing BG3 at the same time as DAV.

Most of the core companions in BG3 are in the “a nobody with some skills,” category, similar to the DAO companions. Astarion and Karlach are runaway slaves. Wyll is a rogue warlock whose noble father disowned him. Shadowheart is noted as a talented healer but seen as entirely disposable by her cloister. Lae’zel is a young, low-ranking githyanki with big dreams. Gale is the only core companion who would actually qualify as “at the top of his field” at the start of the game, and he’s been rejected by his goddess and disgraced. To top it off, he also has probably the most embarrassing (for him) introduction of any companion.

The secondary BG3 companions are more famous and competent, but you have to earn their loyalty by saving nearly all of them, and there is a clear reason why they are not as close to this situation as you are and can’t go where you can go.

It’s very rare for Tav to be set up to look stupid or be the punchline of a joke so that the companions can look smart or cool. Some of the companions might make fun of Tav if they have low approval of Tav, but Veilguard has one companion in particular who seems to go into every conversation looking for a chance to get an MCU-style one-liner at anyone else’s expense, and several other companions will do it to Rook too occasionally.

I can’t think of a single time when Tav was forced to ask a stupid question about something that both Tav and I should already know, just so that the companions can show off how smart they are. For Rook, there are at least a dozen conversations where Rook’s only role is to say, “uh… what?” There are entire conversations with Bellara and Harding where that’s basically all Rook says while Bellara/Harding rambles to herself. Rook is so stupid that they don’t even know what an eluvian is after a year of tracking Solas. It’s not an optional dialogue you can pick; most of these are automatic lines. The game decided for me that my Rook does not know multiple things that I think he should already know.

Halsin does check in on Tav. I think Shadowheart does too. Even without the companions initiating these conversations, though, *you* can initiate conversations with virtually any companion about the Absolute and the Dream Guardian. Even when you have to initiate them yourself, these conversations still make Tav feel more like a real part of this group with real relationships with the companions.

Yes, Tav can be removed from the story entirely and the story will go on. But that’s also true of every companion. You can choose not to recruit a companion, you can drop their approval so low that they leave, you can kill them, or you can let them die and choose not to revive them. This may close off a few avenues for resolving the main quest, but resolving the main quest is still very much possible without any one of them. It’s possible without *all* of them. This is also true of the warden. I believe either Alistair or Loghain has to be a companion going into the last battle, but you don’t actually have to take them up to fight the archdemon with you. Hawke can go into the final battle without anyone except Varric. The Inquisitor doesn’t have as much freedom to kick all of their companions out of Skyhold—many of them have to stay, no matter what—but it IS possible to solo the main quests.

Stopping the Evanuris is not possible without the help of your companions. You are dead in the water without Bellara and Lucanis. It’s implied that you wouldn’t make it past the prologue without Neve. There are vital NPCs that you can only contact through Harding. You can’t do a solo run of Veilguard; the game simply doesn’t give you that option on main quests. Even if you choose to leave your party empty, the companions will still have important things that only they can do during major quests. The one time that one companion can die before the final battle, it’s a necessary death to stop the Evanuris.

Incidentally, I think Veilguard would have benefitted massively from an origins playthrough option. It would have made many of my complaints about Rook moot and also massively improved the game’s replay value.

Anyway, Tav has a number of points within the story where they get to shine all on their own, even if you don’t do a solo playthrough. Tav’s victories feel like Tav’s victories, even if it’s only right to acknowledge that Tav had help; Rook’s victories are all the Veilguard’s victories, except perhaps for escaping the regret prison.

What’s really jumping out at me on my second playthrough is that the writers of the first three games understood that your character was the main character. The Veilguard writers clearly thought that the main characters were their characters, the companions.

Every scene is about setting the companions up as cool or competent or sympathetic. Often, this is done at Rook’s expense. The companions get all the witty one-liners; Rook’s attempts at humor not only frequently fall flat, but are frequently called out for falling flat (even when they’re completely automatic and the player has no say in them).

The companions have all the knowledge and skills; Rook just brought them all together and gives them all pep talks so they can focus. I’m trying to edit out all of the comments where Rook is like “Um… what????” from my videos, and let me tell you, it takes WORK. There are A LOT of them. I can count on one hand the number of times when the Inquisitor or Hawke comes across as dumb, but it seems to be a built-in, unavoidable part of Rook’s character. I have not selected a single “purple” option in all of Act 1, and Rook is still coming across as the kid who tries to be the class clown to cover for the fact that he’s always confused. Rook’s role in most scenes is to say “Uhhh… what?” so that the companions look smart.

Rook is always the one offering sympathy and never the one getting it. No one actually comes to comfort you after Varric’s death. No one asks you how you’re feeling about having to lead the team now that Varric is gone. No one tries to reassure you or give you advice for dealing with the trickster god haunting your dreams. We’re told that Neve could keep Solas out of your head, but she never actually offers to do this for you. No one comforts a Shadow Dragon Rook when Minrathous is destroyed or a Grey Warden Rook when Weisshaupt is destroyed. Rook’s problems don’t matter. Only the problems of main characters matter.

Rook is a secondary character in their own story.

[forcedhesitation]

okay I redid the last astarion picture I shared a wip of because it was a) too graphic for its intended purpose b) didn't fit with the more dynamic posing of the other pieces

here is a peak at the new astarion pic & a look at the wyll & lae'zel wips

[deer-with-a-stick]

I think someone should just throw all of the BG3 companions into Dungeon of the Mad Mage. Just take the post-canon generally considered "good" endings and throw em in there.

Why? Because it would be hilarious to me and also that's like the one official module that goes up to level 20.

I won't lie and say the only thing I can think of is the team trying to kill an angry mechanical purple worm while screeching at Gale because "what do you mean we're in Waterdeep and you know the bastard who owns this death trap?? I was perfectly alright in the damn Underdark thank you very much I did not sign up for this"

[jacqcrisis]

Since he's dragonborn and speaks Draconic, Ronan often swaps between the two when writing in his journal. Mostly it's in Common, but if it's something very private or spicy, he'll swap to draconic in case any rogues with sticky fingers or nosy tieflings try and snag it from him. Very frustrating for said parties for a variety of reasons since inbetween very dry 'we did this today' text, his little stick figure diagrams of action, and sketches of wildlife and his companions, are long sections in a language no one in the camp can read but you know say something interesting.

On top of that, I think it'd be cute if early on, after Astarion starts with all the faux endearments, Ronan lets slip one of his own in Draconic. It's mostly a joke and partially an accident at first and he was sheepish about it for a bit because it seemed presumptuous given the circumstance. When he realized no one, especially Astarion, knows what's he's saying, he starts using it more and more, much to a vampire's frustration.

Astarion asks him what that word means and if it's an insult or demeaning in some manner. Ronan's being tight lipped about because that would ruin the fun as it clearly bothers Astarion in some insignificant, harmless way. Even after the whole confession thing and now they're in some kind of relationship and said endearment is basically all he's referring to Astarion as, he still won't tell him what it means.

At this point, Astarion assumes its just a nickname or something considering how long Ronan's been calling him.... whatever he's calling him. Though any time they find themselves in a library, he is not so subtly looking for anything that may help him translate...

[the-weeping-dawn]

Okay on the ffxiv jobs for bg3 characters now I've done a lv 100 dungeon on dancer because I was warned it was one where you'd want to move fast and often

I maintain Wyll wouldn't be a dancer in the ffxiv job style of it but there is a skill called last dance, and for all Wylls amazing romance lines, he is an adorable corny man, and you know he has so many lines for whenever someone in the party uses it. Especially if he's their dance partner this fight.

[museofvoid]

gonna share the screenshot of Astarion i have as a background on my phone because i'm. hm.

listen. i have nothing to say really. just the way this cunty little elf makes me feel? what he does to me? it is frankly embarrassing. i look at pics of him and i just sigh dreamily what the fuck

[emotargaryen]

i dont get those posts that are talking about character playlists like "he would NOT listen to that" bc i thought the point of a character playlist was songs that fit their vibe or related to them not a playlist that the character would listen to.... am i stupid?

[nonbinarynightcrawler]

Every time I think about digging into my Fortune Backstory Documents and pulling out bits to share or turn into comics or something, something else happens and I lock that shit down quicker than my computer can load them up

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

LMFAO I cannot believe my Tav just bought a statue of herself naked and it's just, right there in camp next to Astarion. can't even move it lol

Pleeeeease have one of these party members comment on it 💀 I'm so disappointed that they don't

[recents]

[seldaryne]

idk if jaheira is a Hugger TM (i couldnt keep her ass alive in haelryne's game by round 6 i just Gave Up so i havent experienced her yet) but breaks my heart a bit to imagine velrith getting one from her. i don't think she received a lot from her adoptive parents since she wasn't response & while they weren't intentionally cruel to her, there was a lot of 'i wish my child would look me in the eye/verbally tell me they love me even if they might be telling me in a different way' energy in the household. so they likely just assumed she wasn't interested & like. gave up yk.

she's so starved for any affection and has 0 clue, she just assumes everyone holds everyone else at an arm's length and doesn't know what to do when confronted otherwise. she's so grateful that jaheira pulled her out of her own head that night and actually just answered questions without sugarcoating. the next day, she's skittish and hesitatnt to approach, but she's looking at jaheira with something in her eyes that she's never seen before. she wants to impress her, wants to be worthy of that type of attention, and she's so, so clearly worried that she's going to fall short.

that hug would break her into 10 million little pieces. mean stoic scary bhaalspawn who can't stop shaking & clinging to the fabric of jaheira's shirt trying to process a new type of gentleness that was always out of reach in her life.

[neckromantics]

We don't talk enough about how absolutely devastating and romantic and hot the idea is that Astarion would know the scent of your blood anywhere.

How quickly he would notice when you've even the slightest of nics? When, no matter how focused on anything else he might be at the time, he always comes to check it out?

You'll be peeling a piece of apple with your pocket knife when it slips in your grip. The sharp edge of the blade slices a shallow cut into the meat of your thumb, and you inhale sharply through your nose even though it barely hurts at all. Instinct has you sucking your injured digit into your mouth with a soft curse– the sweet juice of the fruit you were snacking on quickly overpowered by the metallic twang of blood.

You nearly jump out of your skin when he appears over you not a moment later. He makes some offhand comment about how careless you are. Takes hold of your injured hand and tuts like he intends to tease, but he isn't fooling anyone.

He stands so close, jaw ticking as he clenches his teeth, a tension in his shoulders that tells you he's doing everything in his power to keep composure. Your blood calls to him like a moth to a flame, and as funny as you find it in the moment, you don't have the heart to tease him for it. It's actually kind of endearing.

He'd only get quicker in noticing as time passes.

Especially after you've been traveling together for a few years, and he's come to know your scent better than his own. Which only makes sense considering how often he's got his nose pressed to some part of you. (He thinks you smell good.)

At this point, when you get injured in battle, he often catches the fragrance before you've even processed that you've been hit.

He'd suck in a sharp breath through his teeth– a hiss so loud that it catches your attention just enough for you to spare him a glance as you fight.

It's all you need to see just how blown his pupils are from where you're standing, mostly because his gaze is laser locked onto you to second you search for him. His movements turn faster. Deadlier, as he scans the field before you. Determined. Hungry. Angry. He's searching for the sorry wretch that dared to get the best of you– that dared spill even a drop of his beloved's precious blood upon the soil.

You've already taken them down, of course. Poor sap might have gotten a good dig in at your shoulder, but ultimately didn't stand a chance once he properly pissed you off.

Astarion's eyes go heavy.

Half-lidded in that special way of his and only darkening further as he appraises you. You can practically feel it as he follows the line of your throat, zeroes in on your pulse point for a moment, before settling to watch the warm crimson that's beginning to soak into the sleeve of your tunic.

You see a bit of concern in those eyes, but then he sees your smile and– A flash of hot, honeyed desire catches you by surprise.

You suddenly can't tell if it's just the blood loss making you woozy or if he's about to make you swoon like a maiden from an old romance novel. You try (and fail) to keep a straight face when he sinks his dagger into his final opponent's neck without so much as a glance their way.

There's a splash of red against pale white skin, and a lifeless body dropping to the grass by his feet. Your heart stutters in your chest, and he all but moans in response to the sound of it. A mere four paces and he's on you– hands and teeth and tongue exploring every inch of your exposed skin, ripping open parts of your armor to gain better access, like you're not stood in a field of gore and ruin and freshly spilled blood.

You cling to him like a lifeline.

Before he drags you away to camp– to a warm tent and a soft bedroll where he can have his way with you for as long as you and your mortal body will allow him– he has you down a potion of healing or two.

And it's a good thing one of you has a Lesser Restoration spell handy somehow, cause you're most definitely gonna need it.

[sserpente]

The Sunwalker's Gift

Synopsis: Legends say those who were cursed to live in the shadows are not lost. There is a ring, a ring of incredible power that allows its vampiric wearer to walk in the sun once more. If there is one thing you know, it is that Astarion—your partner, your lover—deserves to own this ring more than anyone. You put yourself in great danger to acquire it for him without his knowledge but in the end, you succeed. So now, what magical piece of jewellery would be more suitable to propose to the vampire spawn you want to spend the rest of your life with than this one?

A/N: Who’s the goose that’s on the loose…

Words: 1694 Warnings: so much fluff, mentions of smut, SPOILERS FOR ACT 3

Blood, tears, sweat, another suicide mission. The rusty ring in your hand almost appeared as if it hadn’t been worth it to risk your neck and sanity for it but appearances were deceptive. This unassuming piece of jewellery in your hand held the answer to Astarion’s prayers. The very object that had made this long and exhausting search so rewarding in the end.

He didn’t know about it yet. He had no idea you’d had a lead with this legendary object at all. And after months of relentless and disappointing searches, Astarion had all but decided the ring was just another myth created to mock him in his misery… to the very point you had begun to doubt your decision to stop him from finishing Cazador’s work and letting him ascend.

You took a deep breath, shaking your head to chase the thought away. No. Walking in the sun was not worth spoiling his mind, his very soul—regardless of the fact you would have never left his side. You’d decided that the night he had confessed his feelings for you. This man was to be yours, forever.

Now you’d give this ring a little bit of polishing, and a bath in vinegar and soap and then you were certain it would look as good as new. You couldn’t wait to see the look on his face, to see the first moment he slid it on his finger and stepped back into the daylight without tadpoles and sacrificed souls. Nervousness washed over you when you pictured your plan in your head but there was no doubt—only excitement and impatience.

Today would change his life for the better. Perhaps one day, if he so wished, you would even find a way to cure his vampirism altogether but for now, you wanted him to have this gift.

Your shared bedroom was empty, the sheets unmade and the smell of sex still lingering in the air. You were still getting used to the nocturnal lifestyle, of course. Staying up with him all night and sleeping during the day was messing with your inner body clock but it was a small price to pay to be with him.

The wooden door leading out to the balcony was open, the barest hint of light pouring through the gap. You approached it on bare feet, the hinges creaking when you pushed the door open further.

“There you are,” he mused without turning around. Astarion was leaning against the metal railing of the balcony, staring into the darkness. A few torches here and there lit the still-sleeping city as the sun began to crawl up from behind the hills, the chirping birds urging it on to start the morning. He truly was a sight to behold—shirtless and pale, even with the everlasting scars Cazador had inflicted on his back, you were overcome with the urge to drag him back to bed and have your way with him in an instant. You did that a lot these days—giving him pleasure upon pleasure without asking for anything in return. Astarion had learned in a rather rewarding way what your mouth and tongue could do for him. Teaching him to be intimate with you in a both consensual and sensual way was a task you were happy to pursue.

You hummed in response, walking up to him to sling your arms around his middle from behind, the ring hidden in the pocket of your morning robe. You pressed the side of your face against his back, his cold skin cooling your heated cheek.

He had been doing this a lot lately. Dragging out the final moments of the night, catching a glimpse of the sun and Baldur’s Gate below him before retreating to the shadows again to ensure his own survival. No more. You sighed.

“What is it, darling?”

“Nothing… I just… love you.”

Astarion chuckled—a barely audible sound coating your heart like sweet honey. At last, he turned around to face, your arms still wrapped around him. You had to look up to meet those crimson-red eyes and the gentle smile tugging on his lips.

“I love you too.”

“I don’t ever want to be apart from you again, my love.”

“Nor I from you,” he purred. His smile was gentle, genuine. You’d fought hard to make him drop that wall of feigned confidence and reveal the real feelings lying underneath. Now, you couldn’t get enough of it. “Let’s head back inside. I’m starting to feel… warm.”

“Just a moment, please.”

The vampire spawn raised his eyebrows but waited nonetheless.

“You said forever,” you went on, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Yes?” He dragged the word out and smirked, reciprocating your hug now; his palms resting against your waist. His closeness calmed your nerves, encouraging you without him knowing.

“I… I want forever to start now. I want us to belong to each other and I want everyone to know.”

“Oh my… you’re feeling quite poetic today, my sweet. I don’t object.”

The first sunbeams hit the stone floor of the balcony upon his playful teasing and you could tell that he was getting nervous, eager to flee to the bedroom to avoid the angry burns he expected any moment now.

With a deep breath, you freed yourself from his embrace and took a step back to get down on one knee. It was then you saw the surprise dominating his beautiful face, his lips parting. Determined, you reached into your pocket and pulled out the shiny ring, holding it out to him.

“Astarion Ancunín… will you make me the happiest woman of Faerûn and marry me?”

It took him a heartbeat to remember how to draw oxygen himself, it seemed. He muttered your name under his breath, red eyes fixed on the plain but powerful ring in your hands. He didn’t recognise it, of course, didn’t expect it to be what it was. He had no reason to believe that this unimpressive piece of jewellery was about to return something to him which should have never been taken in the first place.

“Marry you?” he repeated, almost unbelieving. “I… I do, love. I want… yes.”

Yes. You smiled, the weight of uncertainty falling from your shoulders at once. You took his hand in his, sliding the ring on his finger and rose to your feet again, wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him.

Astarion melted into your affectionate treatment without hesitation, yet you could tell he was holding back. Uneasy, he pulled away.

“Darling, as much as I would like to savour this moment, could we celebrate our engagement inside?” He glanced at the sun rising higher and higher. Any second now the balcony would be fully submerged in its warm light.

Instead of responding to his plea, however, you only smiled at him. You were certain this would work—you had seen the ring in action after all, made sure it was safe before you took it to your love. You had met up with Dalyria, one of Astarion’s spawn siblings, in secret, only two days ago for this exact reason and she had volunteered to try the effects of the ring—saying it was the least she could do in return after Astarion had freed them.

“I need to get inside!” You reached for his hands when he panicked, holding him in place. Only seconds later, you were both drowned in the soft morning sunlight.

Astarion squeezed his eyes shut and flinched, expecting the burn and the pain the day brought him—but nothing happened. He remained standing, the sunbeams warming his skin.

“What… what is… how is this possible?” he breathed out.

“The Sunwalker’s Gift. It’s the ring, Astarion.”

His red eyes widened, disbelief swinging in his smooth voice as he looked down on his ring-clad finger to admire the shining piece of jewellery reflecting the sunlight. “But… but how? How did you get it?”

“The mage we found and spoke to contacted me a few weeks back. He put me in touch with a bard who meddled with vampires before—two of which, after a couple of pints, revealed that the ring was every vampire’s secret dream and rumoured to have been buried with a deceased vampire lord in the lands north of Rivington a couple of centuries ago. After that, the mage and I returned to do more research and discovered where his tomb is located.”

“And you went to this tomb… alone? Have you lost your mind? Gods, anything could have happened to you!” He was trying his best to be upset, truly. You had to hold back a giggle when his voice went a little high-pitched. It was flattering knowing that the only person this gorgeous man had ever truly shown honest concern for was you.

“I wasn’t alone, I promise. I had help. Halsin and Gale accompanied me.”

“Halsin I can understand. But… Gale?” He pretended to gag, eliciting another childish giggle from you. But then, his tone became more serious once again.

“You did this for me… I…” The very hint of an embarrassed laugh clung to his words. “I’m not sure I even deserve you.”

“You do. I love you. And you’re stuck with me now. You just agreed to be my husband, remember?”

“How could I?” Astarion muttered your name again. There was admiration and affection as it left his lips like a prayer. You had no doubt that part of him was still processing what this engagement ring really meant. It was too early still for joyous screams and running across the flower fields hand in hand. “Thank you. This is… I did not dare dream of this and yet you continue to surprise me. I just… thank you, my love.”

You nodded. “I told you all I want is for you to be happy. I would have turned every single rock in Faerûn to find this ring for you. Now come on. We have a long day ahead of us and a wedding to plan.”

Astarion smirked, his red eyes sparkling with joy, relief and affection. “Darling… there is nothing I’d like more.”

A/N: I am so crazy for him this is abnormal even for me. I'LL BE GETTING A GROUP PHOTO WITH THE WHOLE MAIN CAST AT MCM, I'M SO HYPED!

[bluebells-and-dragonflies]

God, the intimacy of Astarion feeding from you.

Astarion drinking from your neck as he pulls your body closer to his in bed, his chest up against your back, his arms wrapped around your waist. It's a casual thing, now, his whispered can I? and your answering nod, as much a part of your bedtime routine as your bath or his curl care. You sigh as his fangs pierce your skin and his fingers flex against your stomach. His breath hitches when the taste of you hits his tongue, and that's familiar too, the physicality of it, the noises he makes low in his throat as he drinks, the way he grows warmer against you as your blood begins to flow through his veins. Nothing else makes you feel so heady, so intoxicated- so comforted.

Astarion drinking from your wrist when he’s starving for it and can’t wait to get you more comfortable. Pulling him into an alleyway one night on the way home from the Elfsong because you can see how badly he's craving in the way he can't keep his eyes off of the pulse point in your neck. He seizes your arm with both hands (can I? Yes-), bringing the soft skin on the inside of your wrist to his lips. He has just enough presence of mind to kiss the heel of your hand distractedly before he bites, fangs sliding through your skin and into the vein. The sound he makes can only be described as a growl, something feral and possessive (and you'll never tell him that it turns you on, since he would be insufferable about it- a promise to yourself that lasts exactly as long as the space between the moment and the next time you're tipsy and want him).

(NSFW Below!)

Astarion drinking from your inner thigh, one hand holding your leg steady and the other cupping your cunt. You groan, eyes shut in pleasure, as his thumb comes to rub your clit. The pain of the bite is barely pain this way- it collides with the pleasure in your belly and sends you almost out of your mind, overwhelmed with sensation and heat. He takes you all the way there, takes just enough from you to have you relaxed and pliant and soaring somewhere above your own body, plays you like an instrument with all the knowledge of you he's gathered over the months, the years. He knows when you're close, knows to crook his fingers inside you just so, knows the reaction he's going to get when he pulls away from your thigh for just a moment and looks up at you with dark eyes and tells you to come for him, he wants to see it, you fall apart so beautifully and it's all for him, isn't it, tell him how good he makes you feel and when you climax with his voice in your ear and the scent of blood on the air he has the audacity to laugh at how well he understands you, your body.

He's soft, after, softer than he'll ever be with anyone who isn't you. He licks you clean before he takes you to the bath, carrying you with the strength your lifeblood gives him. It's the least he can do for you, with everything you've given him: not just your body, but your trust, your closeness, and he will never stop being grateful.

[merrinla]

Portrait spamming

Recent discovery. If you click on the portraits of the characters like crazy, they will react to it. And the developers had a lot of fun coding these reactions xD

Tav / Dark Urge

normal - I'm awake! Mostly. - I'm starting to get a headache. - Must be the tadpole. - Quit knocking around in there! - A thousand needlepricks in my rotten skull.

combat -Ahhhhhhhh! Okay, I feel better. - I have an itch in the worst place. - Is being a mind flayer so bad? - Just waiting to venture forth here. - I'm maiming as fast as I can!

stealth - What's that ticking? - Is it me? Am I ticking? - Bomb in my head about to go off. Great. - Ah, well. I had a good run.

Astarion

normal - Why do beautiful people taste better? It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities. - Ugh. Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit. - More like Drizzt Don't'Urden - no. No that's not funny. - Villains! Dissemble no more, I admit the deed! Tear up the floor - here, here! It is the beating of his hideous hea- oh, no, that's his brain. Where did I leave that heart?

combat: - I'm trying to focus on murder. - *Humming.* - I shot a svirfneblin in Menzoberranzan just to watch him die. - I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.

stealth - Shhh. Just think sneaky thoughts. - Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP. - Be very, very quiet - I'm hunting idiots. - I've got a brand new torture chamber, so come and play with me.

Karlach

normal - NOTE TO ACTOR/DIRECTOR: Blow a raspberry at the player. - Don't. Poke. The Karlach. - Who am I? - My eye!

combat - Eyes on the prize - we need to win this! - Not every soldier should've made it out of training. - Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner. - I ought to just burn this whole thing down.

stealth - My back can't take much more of this. - Not now, I'm being a sneak! - I'm getting too old for this nonsense. - I'm not built to crouch.

Gale

normal - I hope Halaster takes good care of Tara while I'm away. - Sembian wine; Cormyrian boar; Waterdhavian conversation. It's the little things you miss while on the road. - Oh, what a tangled Weave we web! - All the world's my stage and you're just a player in it.

combat - Just go for the Magic Missile and fire away. Never fails. - Don't make me go all Edwin Odesseiron on you. - Get. Out. Of. My. Head. - I really wish I could cast a Hold spell on you.

stealth - You made me hide, don't make me come seek you. - Gods, it's like trying to sleep with a mosquito in the room. - A little privacy please. - Stop it - that tickles.

Wyll

normal - Could do for a brew. - Where there's a 'Wyll', there's a 'y'. - Ever get the sense that someone's watching? - So two halflings walk under a bar...

combat - Can't hear myself think! - Wear your scars proudly. - As my father once told me: 'Can we get on with it?' - I find moderation is key.

stealth - Bad time for an itch. - Could do for a brew. - So two halflings walk under a bar... - Shush. No, really. Shush.

Lae'zel

normal - Must everyone be so exhausting? - Weapons high. Standards higher. - Is perfection too much to ask? - Pride is a virtue.

combat - I will know my queen! - There is no right or wrong, only truth. - What is the point, if not victory? - You are right to fear me.

stealth - Hush already. - There is no wisdom in madness. - Is perfection too much to ask? - There is but one way. Vlaakith.

Shadowheart

all modes - I wonder how I'll feel when I remember everything. - Strange. I've had more freedom this past while than my whole life... - Have to keep focused. Can't afford to get attached - to anyone. - If I succeed, maybe I'll be allowed a pet... ugh, stop being silly.

Halsin / his voice is currently bugged :(

normal - What I would not give for a chunk of fresh honeycomb... - Such attention... I never realised I was so popular. - Are you feeling lonely, perhaps? - Unwise, perhaps, to poke a bear this much...

сombat - Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe. - Perhaps try attacking the enemy? - Admirable stamina, yet terrible priorities. - You are insistent, are you not?

stealth - Most consider it unwise to poke a bear. - My, you are eager, are you not? - Please. I am trying to be stealthy. - Calm yourself. There is plenty of me to go around.

Jaheira

normal - Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too. - I would poke you back, but I fear that's what you want. - My, such strong wrists. - Well you certainly have the 'omnipresent' part down, don't you? - Please go poke the ranger instead.

combat - You have my attention - now do something with it. - What? What do you want!? - Do you know, I begin to wish they had never brought me back. - Yes, yes, have your fun. It isn't you they're trying to kill.

stealth - Dry those sweaty palms and let us try this again, shall we? - Argh, my knees! Oh. It was a twig. - Would that I could hide from you, too. - Careful, or I will take your toy away from you.

Minsc

normal - ARGH! My EYE, Boo! They went for my EYE! - Know that if you poke Boo, no higher dimension will keep you safe! - Heehee. Heeheeheehee. - Well, Boo? How do you want to do this?

сombat - Are you perchance a squeaky wheel in need of a kick? - I am armed! Armoured! And entirely sick of your foolishness. - I begin to grow annoyed. It is well for you that Boo does not let me learn the bad words! - Ignore them, Boo. Let them gaze deep into their own abyss, and wonder just what it is they are trying to achieve.

stealth - A little to the left? But not so hard you make me giggle. - Boo...? Are you dancing down there, or...? - Hush! I am surprising Boo for his birthday! He is... uh... eh... how old do hamsters get...? - I am the night. A pity, then, that it is so bright out.

Minthara

all modes - You had my attention, now you have my fury. - Phlar Lolth ssinssrickla. - Your suffering will be spectacular. - Stop, or die.

[astarions-wife]

Ranking Baldur’s Gate 3 Characters/Companions on if they’d be successful in helping you lace a corset.

Astarion: 11/10. He wears them himself, he probably even judges you on how you’re doing it wrong. He has it down to a science.

Shadowheart: 7/10. She wears that corset top to bed. She’s all for the use and style, but she prefers the ones without laces. Probably could do it, but with practice.

Minsc: 5/10. He says “Why do our QUEENS wear these things…” he doesn’t get it. But if asked to help lace a corset, it’s not that he couldn’t—it’s just he’d probably ask Boo to do it.

Lae’zel: 8/10 on skill, because she definitely can, but why would she? She’d click her tongue and call you weak for needing assistance.

Wyll: 10/10, he studies it to be a gentleman. He knows the correct tensions, how hard to pull, how to tie them, etc. he even knows the front lace ones.

Karlach: 6/10. Once the heat is cooled down enough so that she can touch you, I think she’s just so excited to have physical contact with anyone that she forgets the task at hand. She’d have to be reminded frequently.

Jaheira: 9/10, but in a practical way. Like she helps you lace them, while expressing concern about how tight they are, and focuses on doing it right to be supportive and practical for combat.

Gale: 2/10. Don’t get me wrong, he does it right. But he definitely has some kind of spell to do it for him. Now taking it off? That’s a 10/10, a proper science.

Aylin: 12/10, laces Isobel’s corset while proclaiming her love for her. It’s an art form, and Aylin has conquered it.

Isobel: No data. Hasn’t laced a corset since Aylin came back.

Halsin: 7/10, he definitely knows how! I just think he goes off about the “oak father” and how corsets are against natures very way as he’s doing it.

Orin: 0/10, would she even need to? She snaps her fingers to change forms. She wears human flesh on her body. She’d cut a corset off, and then probably you in the process.

Gortash: -2/10. The man can’t even lace his own shirt, let alone someone’s corset.