#(And sorry I didn't get to this yesterday. I was pooped and really needed time to lessen the tension within myself.)

[whirlybirbs]

— BURNER CELL ; 2 ; DABI ; 荼毗

summary: after a week of silence, you finally text dabi. pairing: dabi / f!reader ; quirkless word count: 1.3k tag: humor, maladjusted dabi meets normal adult woman, flirting, canon-based world building, cancer mention, texting as a plot device, slight au, univeristy student!reader a/n: this stole all my concentration. siri play emo boy by ayesha erotica ← previous | the tag

It's the kind of week where, aside from class, human interaction isn't really on life's setlist. 

It's also the kind of week where you rediscover making a meal of raw cookie dough straight from the package. Your econ textbook might have a stranglehold on you, but you make enough time to scarf down a few globs between chapters — after all, who needs protein or fiber when you're sure this five-year master's program will kill you first?

Your head hurts.

You slump against the counter, refilling your water bottle. 

It's late now — and you can feel the quiet woes beginning to wane as you blink at the clock. By now, your friends are probably on their second or third drinks. You turned the invite down when they asked yesterday. Nuri tugged on your sweater sleeve and pouted the best pout she could manage, but you didn't budge. 

I've gotta finish this paper, I'm sorry, Nur'. 

You roll your jaw as you shut the faucet off, wandering to your freezer to wrangle some cubes from the tray. You bend it slowly, deep in thought. A few pop out, and you idly drop them into your water bottle with a twang. 

You're staring at your phone. It's by your computer on the counter. 

...You never did text Dabi. 

You told yourself it was for the best — after all, you weren't looking for a catastrophic derailment of your life at the moment. Things are good. You're two semesters away from finishing University, your family's bakery back in Kyoto is doing well, and Dad's chemotherapy seems to be working. Things are good! It's almost fall, you've managed to stick to your monthly budget, and Mizu settled in happily to your new apartment. 

No four-day poop strike like the last time you moved.

The large tuxedo cat in question ambles through the kitchen — brushing against your leg and letting out a long, low mrrooow. 

Things are great! 

You shouldn't text Dabi.

But... even if you did, it's not like it'd be the end of the world, right?

Wait, could he figure out where you lived from your number...?

You could use one of those anonymous texting services. Then, it wouldn't even be your number. Just some fake string of digits that allow you to satiate the bizarre curiosity that's been swirling in your head for the last week. 

You're sure the novelty will wear off. 

He's probably not even going to respond. 

You're telling yourself this is stupid as you begin to set up an account with the service — the app boasts privacy, andunlimited calls and texts... You can't help but feel a little strange as you finalize your account. 

It's done.

You import his contact with two taps and stare at the blank screen. 

...Now what?

Are you really going to do this? I mean — he's a wanted criminal. He's a member of the League of Villains. If anyone ever found out you were in contact with him, you'd be toast. You'd have All Might kicking your door in and demanding to look through your phone and that mental image is enough to make you cringe. Say goodbye to your degree, goodbye toyour future as Sakura Flour's owner, and goodbye to freedom. You're sure the Safety Commission would place you on some watch list for the rest of your life, and frankly, your tweets are already questionable. You don't need more scrutiny. 

...So, there are two options. 

Delete his number and move on... or don't get caught. 

You shouldn't text Dabi.

...But, you do.

Truth be told, he isn't shocked to see that cute Nuri girl hanging on Giran's arm again. The Broker seems pretty into her — the guy even mentioned something about taking her to a nice dinner during the week as a congrats on passing some big test. Dabi can't blame him. She's cute. Looks good in red. Not his type, but he can appreciate it from time to time.

However, Dabi is a little shocked that you're not a part of the group cheering in Giran's VIP section. There's bottle service being ordered, laughter, dancing, and a gaggle of pretty, five college girls — and none of them are you. 

His lips twist into a scowl. 

He decides he's leaving; his piss-poor drink is tossed back, and he dumps a bill down for the bartender before tugging his hood up and sucking his teeth. 

He never liked this club anyway.

He's crossing the threshold of the back door, stepping into the damp and dark alley, when the phone in his back pocket buzzes. Someone's smoking a Marlboro by the dumpster. The familiar smell makes Dabi's fingers twitch. 

He's tryna quit.

He tugs the phone from his pocket, no longer bothered by the splintered glass screen. His battery is at 13%. This fuckin' thing barely holds a charge anymore. 

The number on the screen isn't one he knows.

Dabi's passcode is unnecessarily long. His phone clicks open as he narrows his eyes and shambles towards the opening in the alley. He doesn't know this number. He has everyone's cell memorized that he needs. Shigaraki, Toga, Spinner, Jin, Compress, even Giran. He doesn't keep contacts. Doesn't work when he's ditching phones all the time. He's got his noggin. That's good enough.

The text is one word:

hi.

Dabi's squinting at the text when another buzzes through. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:48pm sorry, this is bar girl

→ dabi ; 11:46pm thought u were never gonna txt me ur girlie nuri is here where r u

There's no way.

Your phone buzzes three times from its far place where it sits face down on the counter — you just walked away from it, hellbent on distracting yourself while you waited out the potential reply. You go rigid in your kitchen. 

Did he seriously text you back immediately?

You purse your lips, then slink towards the phone. It buzzes again.

→ dabi ; 11:47pm c'mon don't leave me hangin pretty

Your eyes are wide as you stare at the string of replies. He has read receipts turned on like the psychopath he is. 

You lean back against the counter, chewing your cuticle as you let out a ragged sigh. Nuri is with him? Or... No, they said they were going to that club you hate. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:4pam oh, are they at the bar?‎

Dabi's fingers move fast.

→ dabi ; 11:49pm nah in downtown club tropical or whatever the fuck it's called

You snort a little.

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:49pm i hate that place. their drinks suck.

Dabi has started making his way back to their hideout — back to the shit box apartments they're renting above Kurogiri's bar. He's slow, idly texting as he weaves through the crowds of nightlife in Kamino Ward. 

→ dabi ; 11:50pm a girl after my own heart where r u ur dodging my question u on a date or smthng????

He's insistent, you'll give him that. You cross your legs as you lean back against the laminate counter and chew the inside of your lip.

He's typing. It starts, then stops, then starts again. 

When you start typing, the bubble disappears. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:50pm nah, got a huge paper to finish uni student, remember? sorry to disappoint 

→ dabi ; 11:51pm ur missin out giran got bottle service  him and nuri looked cozy

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:51pm not shocked she thinks she can fix him

→ dabi ; 11:51pm ooooo love when that happens poor girl

Typing... 

Typing...

→ dabi ; 11:51pm u think u can fix me? :p

The emoji makes your face break into a smile — it's so... not what you expected. 

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:52pm nah i'm not stupid

→ dabi ; 11:52pm just busy.... really lame of u tbh coulda been fun

← 909.999.3399 ;  11:52pm wasting cash on mid drinks is the opposite of fun

→ dabi ; 11:52pm i meant seeing me

Oh, what the fuck.

Why does that text make your face feel hot? Why does that text make you feel like you're not texting the League of Villain's #1 Arsonist, but some cute boy from class? He's not a cute boy from class. He's a danger to society. 

You're glad you don't have the opportunity to reply. Your phone is buzzing in your hands, the haptic feedback lighting the neurons in your brain on fire.  

→ dabi ; 11:53pm gtg phone is gonna die have fun with ur paper u loser hope u get a good grade or whatever i'll txt u later

You shouldn't have texted Dabi.

But you did. 

[tremendouscreationperson]

Logan x Reader pt.8

Not me and my mate watching Deadpool and Wolverine again

I forgot how mean and scrungally he is

I need him

<< Part 7 Part 9 >> Masterlist

Babygirl: party on saturday?

Y/N: Wade? Is this you?

Y/N: Did ya change your name on my phone?

Babygirl: shshsh

Babygirl: saturday?

Babygirl: party?

Babygirl: you?

Babygirl: normal?

Y/N: Yeah I'm not crazy if that's what ya mean

Babygirl: okie make sure wolvie knows

Babygirl: wear something nice

Babygirl: i like hearing you two at it

Y/N: Perve

“Why are you frowning?” Logan questioned, lowly. He was sitting on the sofa between you and Laura, the 2002 Scooby Doo movie playing on TV. You loved that damn dog.

The three of you had spent so much time together it was really sweet. Laura did still sleep on your bed whilst you claimed Logan's but after her therapy session yesterday she had asked you to sleep next to her - her nightmares were back - and, of course, you agreed. You felt really bad slipping into your bed because you essentially abandoned her on the second night.

“I'm sorry.” You stroked her hair. “I know the first night wasn't my fault but I've spent the whole time in Logan's bed.”

“It's okay.” She spoke and you could see she held no resentment. “I'm normally okay.”

“Well, you make sure you keep asking if you want a bed buddy.”

The bedroom door knocked and Logan quickly popped his head round. “‘didn't say night.”

That was a lie. He had said night.

The man walked to your side of the bed and bent to give you a quick kiss. You scratched the scruff on his cheeks and looked up at him. “Good night Logan.”

“Night, beautiful.”

He then leaned over you, his - barely, covered by a vest - pecs hovered by face and briefly kissed Laura's crown.

She accepted the kiss with a smile. “Night.”

“Night bub.” He ruffled her hair.

Logan hesitated for a second but did exit. You could tell he was worried. If Laura asked you she must've been scared. He also told you that he hadn't had a good night's sleep before sleeping next to you, so perhaps that was part of it. Maybe he was going to miss you being at his side.

“Wade is texting me every single emoji.” You whispered back, turning the screen, ping, elephant. Ping, arrow. Ping, music notes.

“Why-”

“I dunno.” You laughed. “But he says the party is back on this Saturday.”

Logan placed his hand out and you handed him the phone.

Y/N: stop harassing her or I'll break your face

Watching Logan type with his nails was hilarious. Laura had told the tech he wanted stiletto - the type she got - they weren't massively long but the shape was causing problems. Everything he's been doing has been made harder because of them.

Babygirl: promises promises

“I love your nails.” You gushed.

He displayed his fingers for you. One hand was yellow with a blue ring finger, his other hand was blue with a yellow ring finger. “I'm getting used to them.”

You held his hand, delicately moving it to see the glitter shine. “If they're hassling you, we can cut and file them to a better shape.”

“I like the challenge.” The hand you held was lightning quick and flipped positions. He pulled your hand to his and kissed the back of it. “Did you like the colour I chose?”

“Course I did.” You leaned your temple against his shoulder, hand still captured in his, and watched Scooby and Shaggy argue.

“No, Scooby Doo, your mum eats cat poop!”

Laura laughed at that, a full body laugh, deep from her stomach.

~~

You were organising some of your things in Logan's room when it fell on the floor. Dedicating a bedside table and half of the wardrobe to yourself was easy because he already seemed to do that. Only using his half of his furniture.

You folded your jeans and placed them into the enclosed drawers in the wardrobe.

Logan's footsteps wandered into the bedroom. Usually heavy due to his skeleton but now they were light. You suppose it was a good thing this building was empty because the downstairs neighbours wouldn't like you.

“You alright?” You ask over your shoulder, tucking the drawer closed.

“Yeah.” He replied watching you neaten up the hangers.

He observed you potter about, sitting on the edge of the bed. You made his home yours. It was nice. He liked seeing your things intermingled. It felt real. This felt real and good and he was happy. He knew he didn't deserve this but he would grab ahold of it as long as possible. He would be happy and content.

Well, until his eyes caught something on the floor.

It sat face down just under the bed frame. Logan scooped it up and found it was a Polaroid. You were so young, smiling wide, one eye shut in a wink. Your hair was shorter, styled and you were wearing make-up. The top of a silky red dress visible on your shoulders. Next to you was him. He looked younger, his hair was longer, fluffier. He was grinning from ear to ear, one hand in the frame doing ‘devil horns’ whilst his other held two beers. He was wearing a black button down.

It was clearly a party.

You both were clearly having a good time.

“What was the occasion?” Came out of his mouth before he could stop it.

You glanced up and saw him looking at your Polaroid. Where had he got that? “It...it was Beast’s birthday.” You spoke, diplomatically, taking a seat next to him. “Rogue decided to throw a banger. W-I got quite drunk.”

“You look amazing.” You really did. There was a carefree aura surrounding you and you seemed to glow.

“Thank you.” When you had looked at this in the Void you didn't usually focus on yourself but you did look good. Better than you did now. "It's the makeu-"

"No, it's not." He vowed with an air of finality.

You didn't argue back, instead just thinking about how you wouldn't even know how to do makeup nowadays, all the women you saw were gorgeous. Their skin shone and they had sculpted cheeks.

"You are beautiful." He had told you this practically everyday but right now, sitting on the bed with him, gazing at an old vibrant version of yourself, you believed the words. Believed they were true, even if it was just to him.

“Thank you." Your hand found his arm. "You know, you can't see them but I loved the earrings I had on. Yo-” Cutting yourself off before you could act more of a fool.

“What?” He encouraged.

“Logan brought me them.”

He noticed the melancholy flicker in your eye. “What was he like?”

"Like you." You smirked up at him. “Sweet like you.”

“Longer hair.” His thumb traced the strands.

“I know, I loved the long hair, little kitty ears.” You giggled to yourself.

He saw the delight on your face, the scrunch of your eyes and wide grin. Immediately deciding to grow out his hair.

~~

Dinner was actually really nice. Gambit had told you to come to his and he promised the best Cajun food you'd ever had. 

He had decorated his apartment like any young bachelor. He'd painted the room a dark grey and accessorised with light colours. He had a white sofa and rugs and curtains. The TV was the centre of attention, underneath was a playstation with various game cases. You should really take Laura to IKEA or Home Depot, let her choose a paint or a bedspread or even buy her some posters. 

“Like what you've done with the place.” You patted his back as he washed his hands. 

“Thankin’ you ‘ere.” He flashed you a grin, towelling his hands dry.

“It smells lovely.” You glanced at the food. There was a pan sizzling and veg boiling. “What you making?” 

“Jambalaya, cornbread ‘n greens, mon ami.” He smiled. “I don't remember ‘lot about ‘fore the Void but when I cook’ere this I feel a’ home.” 

That was genuinely sweet, you felt a tug in your chest. “I'm so glad you're sharing this with us.” 

“Ain't much.” He shrugged. “Bu’ it good.”

You both turned to the others, “Reckon Blade’ll have some?” 

“I'll make a plate.” 

You hummed. The Dhampir could consume food but it did nothing for him, it held no nutritional value which is why you guys ate the scavenged food and had to create the ‘feeding system’. “He might try it.” 

“Sup bitches!” Wade and Al entered. 

“Ah, mi amor.” Gambit opened his arms for Al. 

Wade karate chopped between them. “Back off Magic Mike.” 

Al shoved Wade to the side and slipped into Gambit's arms. 

Wade dramatically rolled his eyes, slumping over to you. “Why do my friends leave me?” 

“No one's left you.” You pat his head. “You alright? How was your day?” 

Wade sniffed the food, finding a spoon and taste testing the Jambalaya. “Wo-hooah, that'll blow nips off.” He offered you the spoon, you declined, watching him expertly flick it into the sink. “Day was alright. I've been meeting with the Avengers. They do not like this bitch. Also Spiderman is young. I am not that way inclined. I'm looking more to an Andrew Garfield type.”

“Young?” You scrunched your face. “He wasn'- I guess that's another way this universe is different.” 

Wade shrugged and skipped to the sofa, jumping over the back and landing right next to Blade. 

“Oh, possum. How’s hunting Vampires? Need any help? I'm not sure we were friends last time but I'm willing to try again.” 

There were two sofas and on the other was El and Laura, Gambit led Al over to it and the girls scooted up. 

Logan was sipping a beer standing by the girls. He wore his low waisted boot cut jeans and a vest. Ugh. Seeing him casually in this outfit was fine, but haloed against the TV light, one leg cocked, was something else entirely. Why was he so good looking? 

You wanted nothing more than to get on your knees and undo that stupidly large belt. 

Logan stopped mid sip to blink over to you. His eyes raked up your body and he smirked over the bottle, mouthing ‘later’. 

How did he know you were looking at him? Could he feel it? You watched him, moving yourself closer to the group - feeling the slightest slick between your legs - and you realised. Fuck. He could smell you. 

Cou-could the others?! 

Blade?

LAURA? 

Could they smell your arousal? 

Well, they'd certainly sense your panic. Calm down.

You sincerely hoped they couldn't and tried to calm yourself. Think of anything apart from him. Apart from his body. Fuck. Apart from his dick. FUCK. Apart from him, you can do it. I believe in you. 

Apricots?

Good girl. God that's what he calls you.

The seat you took was a breakfast bar stool, pulled from the kitchen counter, placing it in-between each sofa. 

“‘e’ere ready in a’ouple minutes.” Gambit informed the group. 

The table was set so there were no jobs for anyone to do so you all just sat and chatted. Talking about stuff and nothing. Literally wasting what time you had. You could waste time. 

You know you were becoming a broken record but you still couldn't believe everyone could just- just waste time. 

Gambit announced the food was ready and you all settled at the table. It was hardly large enough for everyone and El had kindly brought her chairs in to accommodate everyone but you all made it work.

Gambit was at one end of the table and Wade at the other. Al, Blade and Laura on one side. You, Logan and El at the other.

“I jus’ wanna say a few words.” Gambit finished pouring the wine.

“Please.” Wade sassed. 

He raised his glass. “No’ we all togethe’ I jus’ wanna ‘member those lost.” He took a deep breath. “Johnny.” Wade coughed. “Erik. Matt. Frank.” 

“Whistler.” Blade carried on. “Safron.” 

“Reed and Sue.” El tipped her head. "Victor."

You smiled at Gambit. “Anna Marie.” She had briefly caught his eye and helped you for a moment before her and Erik were killed. You knew he liked her. He told her to call him Remy, no one else did. 

“My dad.” Laura’s voice was barely above a whisper. Her eyes were glued to Logan, brows pulled. 

“Jean, Storm, Scott, Hank, Charles.” Logan's knuckles whitened. 

Al nodded. “Deuce.” 

“Deuce?” Wade questioned. “Your dog?”

“He was my eyes.” She shrugged. “I miss him.”

“Not as much as I miss Cable.” Wade starred off distractedly into the distance. “He was kinky.”

With that the speeches ended and you all tucked in.

It was scrumptious. 

Absolutely brilliant. 

You loved everything Gambit made and you definitely weren't the only one. 

Bowls were emptied quickly, being filled with second and third helpings. 

Once dinner was done you were sitting just idly chatting again when Logan placed his hand on your thigh. 

Maybe it was the two glasses of wine you had - hadn't consumed alcohol in years - or the fact that he was fucking gorgeous but your legs not-so-subtly opened. You hadn't meant to, your body just merely responding to him. 

Logan hummed in approval, patting your thigh before he rubbed it.

“So, Y/N, do you think you'll come with me to the gym tomorrow?” El asked, completely unaware.

“I was thinking of meeting you there.” You recalled the earlier conversation. “It's a quick walk and I haven't been out by myself so that might be good for me.” 

Logan's hand slipped further, closer to where you wanted him most.

“I usually get there for eleven, leave at two but I'll probably hang about a little longer. Introduce you to Natalie.” She had told you about her gym friend and you were so happy for her. She deserved someone other than your broken family to talk to. 

You all meandered back to the sofas, full and happy. Gambit gave you the choice Alien or Ghostbusters and it was decided that you'd watch the latter. 

The final credits rolled along, you and Wade singing the tune very out of tune - singing the instrumential part ‘beeeeyneewneeewwwnewnewnenenew’ too. 

Goodnights were quick. Everyone got a hug and a see you tomorrow. 

Laura hesitated at her front door though, watching you head for Logan's. “Are you sleeping in there?” 

“No.” You answered immediately. “No. I'll sleep with you baby.” How stupid were you to think she'd be alright. She had had an awful therapy session yesterday and needed you, she wasn't going to magically get better. She needed time. “My things are in here though, Hun, I'll get ready and meet you.”

She smiled small and let you leave. 

Logan was on you immediately, bear hugging you from behind. “How long we got?” 

You chuckled. “Not long enough Mr.” Extracting yourself from his arms, mirroring his earlier taunt. “Later.” 

He grumbled but watched you get ready for bed. You hopped in and out of the shower - warning him to stay away - and began washing your face at the sink. 

He watched you perform your ablutions, unobstructed by the nails. 

“Why is it easier for you?” 

You raised a brow. “Huh?” 

“The nails.”

“I'm not sure, could be the shape? I think I had them done once for a wedding when I was younger.” A thought slipped through your mind and right out of your mouth. “You're like Victor.” 

Logan guffawed. “He could suck his back in. Came in handy wh- wait- we will have to file these.” 

“Why?” You squeezed toothpaste onto your toothbrush and began brushing your teeth. 

“Well, these ones anyway.” Logan had separated his middle and ring fingers. Ah. That's why. 

You decided to play coy, with an innocent “Why?”

“You know why.” He winked. 

“There's a file in that draw, get the clippers and I'll help if you want. It won't take long.” You spoke over the toothbrush, taking time to spit. 

He didn't comment on your hasty response, eager to avoid a future obstruction. Logan produced the items and waited for you to finish brushing your teeth. He sat on the lip of the bath. These apartments were brilliant because they had a bath and shower! You loved the choice!

You were precise in clipping them both and then made delicate work of filing, trying ever so hard to not destroy the paint job. 

Logan sat patiently watching you work. The small frown on your face adorable. 

He really liked you. 

He knew that was childish. 

But he really really did. 

“Done.” You grinned proudly. “Can't wait to try them out.” 

He hummed, taking ahold of your hips. “Why wait?” 

A shaky breath left your lips but you were strong. “I'll see you tomorrow.” Kissing his nose. “Promise.” 

You made a quick exit and entered Laura's front door. She was in bed waiting for you.

You tucked Laura into the covers before nestling in next to her. 

The nightmares had returned, you had eased her to sleep yesterday. Being able to shush the problems away before they woke her was a blessing, you'd had to get good at that in the Void. Your Logan used to twitch and thrash about in his sleep, Laura does the same, you wondered if this Logan did also. Most likely. If you live as long as them you have a million ghosts hovering over you. 

Laura fought sleep, pretending to watch a rerun of Law and Order. She'd become accustomed to watching TV in bed and you had to agree it was the way to go. 

You never truly understand the show because you zoned in and out of slumber but the storylines were basic enough to grasp. 

~~

Laura spasmed next to you, rousing you from the light dozing. The TV was still on, telemarketers selling unnecessary products, casting a low light for you to see she was covered in a sheen of sweat. Her face was twitching and her shoulders were tense. 

“Laura, baby?” You whispered. She usually responded to your voice alone. 

Nothing eased her, instead she snarled. 

“Laura.” You spoke more firmly. “Laura, I'm going to place a hand on your shoulder.” Again, that usually worked. This time, though, her eyes sprung open and she punched you in the gut. 

You gasped, feeling more pain than a punch. It was sharp. Ah fuck. 

“Laura.” You fought to keep your voice even. 

Her eyes were blown wide and her mouth hung open. 

“Laura don-” She retracted the claws. 

Fuck! 

Now the real trouble began. 

You kept a hand on your side, creating a field around the wound to keep pressure on it. “Laura. Baby. It's okay.” You reached out to grab her hand but she scurried away. Clamouring off the bed and into the corner of the room, she shook with unshed tears 

“Laura.” You didn't want to panic her but you needed her to focus. You needed her in the room with you. “Laura, I need you to get Logan.” 

She spluttered, covering her mouth, and nodded frantically. Sprinting away.

You were alone. 

Laying in bed.

Holding yourself together. 

Shit.

This would stain. 

You heard crashing and yelling before Logan stormed into the bedroom. The door flung so hard it came off the hinges. 

“Baby.” He was immediately at your side. 

“Logan.” You smiled in relief. 

“Don't just stand there, call 911!” He yelled at Laura. 

“Hey.” You frowned. “Don't be mean.

Logan snarled and ripped the phone from her hands. He dialed a number which was more than three and placed the phone to his ear, using both hands to hold your side. "It's me. I need the cradle. I don't fucking care. You owe me. Yeah this is my favour. Fuck off and help."

The phone was flung to the side and he smiled down.

"Help is coming, beautiful."

You tried to suppress a cough but that didn't work, blood spitting out of your mouth.

"What the fuck did you do?!" Logan growled over his shoulder.

You couldn't see Laura but knew he was talking to her. "Lo-logan." You warned.

"Fucking trouble."

He hadn't been like this with you. Hadn't been this angry. Hadn't swore so much.

"Stop." You ordered, vision blurring. "Logan?"

"I'm here." He promised.

You blunk and the room was different. Lighter. There were annoying led lights flashing past. You were moving. Your view was slightly obstructed due to Logan still being at your side. He was jogging, you could tell because of the way his hair bounced.

"Your hair." Your voice was muffled, restricted. Hands flying to your face to find there was a mask attached to your nose and mouth.

"Leave it on baby."

You grumbled but dropped your arm. Gosh it was an effort to move.

You were tired.

Why were you so tired?

How could you get to this level of tiredness?

Weren't you asleep a second ago?

These questions didn't matter because you found yourself easing back into a dreamless sleep.

Part 9

@littlecrowtime @geeksareunique @lovelyvaderx @melissa-ashe @st1nkabutt @maximumchilddreamland @catiwinky @twinkywink @ravenmedows @electricreader @racetrackheart @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @bisasterbisexual @tzurue @narniansmagic @seamlessepiphany @4ria790 @caramelatae

Again not 100% if all ze tags be tagging

[defira85]

Chloe update (it's not grim, it's just not entirely happy)

She's doing okayish

She's struggling to walk at the moment. This all started back in the first week of August when we noticed her walking strangely, and she went downhill fast initially with not eating and not sleeping. Then we found the eye infection and we thought, great, that's probably the problem! It's affecting her balance which probably accounts for the funny walk, and an infection means her body is out of whack which explained the not eating and the not sleeping, so she had surgery and lost the eye

She was recovering okay, she's an old lady after all so she wasn't going to bounce back immediately. Sleeping better and eating better, and she started to gain weight back

But then she was clearly still limping, and she started not wanting to put weight on the back right foot at all. Didn't react with pain, didn't flinch or recoil or bite or try to get us to stop prodding and stretching it. Still reacts to stimulus so it's not paralysed. The limp got more pronounced

Then Barney died

She stopped using the leg altogether, she tries to keep it tucked up under her belly all the time. She stopped eating again, the vet said grief response to missing Barney. She stopped pooping, we thought maybe it was all the pain medications cause god knows that happens to me when I'm having bad pain flares

Yesterday she couldn't use the other back leg either. Couldn't stand up, she fell out of her little bed and onto her back and she just lay there like a turtle with her limbs flailing in the air, couldn't get back onto her tummy

The vet got her to poop yesterday, and she was ravenous for dinner AND snacks AND breakfast. She's struggling to use the leg today but she's trying! She's very clearly got energy and she's also very clearly frustrated and angry that she can't mobilise. She wants to walk around! She doesn't want to lie down and wait for death!

But I don't know if I'm just being selfish with her. Yesterday we went to the vet with the full expectation that the vet would look at us and say "I'm really sorry, but there's nothing else we can do. It's time" and so leaving with her in my arms still alive threw my emotional balance right out of whack. I'd spent the drive prepping myself for the conversation. I burst into tears the moment the vet took us into the room.

I don't know what I'm doing! I don't know if, maybe if Barney hadn't left us so abruptly and so painfully, maybe it would've been a different conversation! But I don't know how to cope with the idea of losing both of them so I don't know. I don't know if I'm being selfish. I look at her and I see my little fighter, who never backed down from anything bigger than her, and I see her spirit fighting. Barney was so quiet at the end. I can't believe the vets would send me on a wild goose chase to other specialists if they didn't think it was worth it and it was just prolonging her misery

Anyway. She's got an abdominal scan next Wednesday. If she's safe after that for more extensive sedation we might consider leg and spine x-rays but even if we find something causing her limp, she probably can't handle another extensive surgery. And what would that surgery get her? Another six months of life? Would that be worth it if she's in pain from recovery the whole time? She's so skinny from all the weight she's lost, I can feel her spine and her hips and I hate it

This got long. I'm sorry if you read this far, I needed to get it out and I can't say any of it out loud without immediately bursting into tears

[shatterspin]

Hey, it's me again. I just re-read what I sent yesterday, and, dude (gender-neutral), I was fasting when I sent that, and I was barely awake, and it sounds like I was hating on the Arabic dub...? I mean, sure, I think they're horrible, and part of me dislikes them, but they were still my childhood.

And about the jokes thing, I get that not every single joke can be translated, but at least they can replace them as you said, or when they translate them, they should try to make it less of a mess than they end up being (like the tashkeel usually ends up wrong when they translate everything literally, and you'll have me, kinda likes e3rab, being like, "No, that should be mansoob, it's maf3ool behe?")

It's been a long time since I watched Zane's Sacrifice in Arabic, but I remember little me found it really funny (on an unrelated note, I have a cousin called Zain, and I hated him, so that might have contributed). With Garmadon getting possessed, his screams were... well, I found them funny. It sounded more like he was pooping than getting possessed.

I watched Ninjago on CN Arabic. I don't remember that much of it since I was little (again, I was about 4-5 when it started, and I started watching it on CN MENA in English when I was about 11; I'm almost 17 rn), and I asked my little siblings about it, and they barely remember anything. But I remember most of what @localguy2 said. I don't think they aired the pilots as I didn't know about their existence recently. CN was obsessed with replaying the same episodes over and over again. They also skipped many parts in the episode itself (like any romantic parts), and they ended up cutting some other parts of the episode, where it got confusing. But I do remember S1's finale airing, like I vividly remember watching Wu get out of the Devourer, sipping his tea, when I was little, so I think @/localguy2 just missed it or something. Which just reminded me of another thing. CN Arabic was so inconsistent with its timings. Like let's say, they would air Ninjago from Sunday to Thursday at 5pm. They would randomly decide to put the new episodes on 1 pm on a Friday, and they'd repeat the old episodes between Sunday-Thursday. So, even without CN itself skipping episodes, we already lost many episodes because of that, and catching up with the plot was practically impossible. I don't think I ever watched SoG on CN Arabic, so I either missed the episode, or for some reason, CN decided not to air that one. And wait, DotD got released in Arabic? I never saw it, and I was so confused how Cole was human again. But I never watched DotD in Arabic.

As of Hunted, I switched to watching Ninjago on CN MENA where they air the episodes in English. They still have the thing where they cut out "romantic" scenes and other stuff (for example, in Crystallized, you know the scene where Harumi is getting the Overlord back? They skipped the whole thing. Like you had Lloyd begging Harumi to be good or something idr, and one second later, the Overlord was walking towards Lloyd). They still skip some episodes (not sure if that happened with Ninjago there, but it's currently happening to Monkie Kid). I recently watched some Ninjago on MBC3 (in Arabic obv because I was bored and they were there, so yk?), and I think they're doing a better job than CN Arabic.

Anywayyy, I should probably go back to sleep; I woke up for su7oor, and I ended up typing my whole life story... sorry

ah it’s okay to be a bit mean to such things

i get what u mean abt the jokes thing needing to sound properly but the fact that ur even MENTIONING e3raab to me should be illegal. i already graduated i should not be subjected to thinking about e3raab anymore 😭😭

mbc3 and CNa had unusual rerun times and it was always a mess trying to figure out when the rerun of an episode of a show would air and would require watching the channel for so long (oh the days of me trying to find out when son//ic x reruns were on mbc3 bc they used to show the new episodes when i couldn’t watch tv (i still remember that it’s reruns were at 3 am 😭)) so some of tkose repeating episodes could’ve been the reruns.

even on netflix when i was looking thru the arabic dub for double trouble they just cut the whole scene between nya n bizarro jay which i thought was weird of netflix but i guess that’s just because these episodes were the ones that were shown on TV. but i remember seeing a video on youtube abt the cut off lmk really weird and random scenes off?? i get the whole thing abt the arab world and not showing kids any sort of pda but they used to sometimes allow non-pda but still implied things thru? the cut offs r more lenient these days but they’re still extremely weird and very obvious. i remember spacetoon used to rewrite scenes and edit the scenes so heavily just to not let any romance plot thru, it usually just made them funnier but kids wouldn’t notice much of a difference

[strangecowplant]

UPDATE

sorry once again for the very late update, teddy has been requiring quite literally every second of my time right now but i can write when hes napping

teddy is home again, and he's really messed up on his meds. he's now also taking lorazepam on top of his antibiotics and gabapentin, coupled with another bout of sedation he's extremely high right now. i was not told taking these two would increase side effects like dizziness, drowsiness, confusion ect he's completely fucked up right now. they also didnt tell me the side effects of this new med, one being vocalization which is horrible to hear esp when you dont know why its happening, the only way to stop him meowing sometimes is to hold him like a baby and sing as i walk up and down the hall. i had to literally google all these side effects and interactions myself

he is drinking lots, eating lots but he has not peed yet again. im trying to stay so positive right now, maybe its because he's so fucked up on meds, maybe he just needs some time, i have no idea. hes trying, not straining, but nothings coming out yet, he did poop however so in theory he does have control over his muscles enough back there which should mean he can pee, and yet...

im so exhausted, but im also EXTREMELY pissed off now. i am done with this vet, i never even got a call today for reassurance until late, i had to call three times to ask about him and was only able to get small updates from the other staff bc the vet was in surgeries, understandable of course surgeries are top priority, but he or one of the staff could've at least called in the am like i was expecting. i didn't receive a call until 4:30 as i was walking out the door to go there

they removed the catheter before calling me, i said i would've liked to keep it in for as long as possible yesterday but it was in for less than 24 hours again (first time it was in for less than 12) and they didn't check if he could go on his own afterwards afaik. it seemed like they were just shrugging me off, i had to ask all the questions that really should've been explained by them first I had to be the one to even ask if this new medication could even be TAKEN with his other ones. i had to ask if he was given his meds this morning (he wasnt last night because 'he was still very groggy from the anaesthesia' which im sure is code for 'place is closed time to go home' i hope his pain medication stayed in his system enough to last overnight) something didnt feel right yesterday when i stood my ground to them, it really feels like the vet wants to wipe his hands clean and move on like he knew i wouldnt be giving them more money for surprise additions (which mind you, the new medication was a surprise and never spoken about. his first dose of it was at 9am, they had ample time to call me beforehand and explain he would be taking it)

when the vet finally called he also mentioned randomly that he has a minor heart murmur likely from birth, except i know for a fact he's never had one he's been checked over multiple times since birth and has always had a super clean bill of health. i asked if it could be caused by the blockage but he said its unrelated and then said he wanted to xray or ultrasound to check right then and it would be 850-900+$ with adding on a bunch of words as if to scare me. of course i dont want my boy to be ill but all this happening and knowing that im already struggling to pay just feels like a way to milk more money from me. of course a check would need to be done but i would've appreciated an 'in the future we will want to check this' and not 'he can collapse' when im already dealing with teddy being on deaths door. not to mention having him be sedated again i can't imagine being good at all for him. the way it was gone about feels wrong and i was a wreck until i talked to my mom about it and she reassured me. scouring studies i did in fact find its relatively common for murmurs to happen with acute urinary blockage in cats, so saying it was absolutely unrelated further adds to my mistrust. to add on even more, i also know for a fact ultrasounds for cats are nowhere NEAR 900 dollars

i don't know how teddy is going to hold up tonight, he's not all there from the drugs and hes not peeing. im so broken im numb, but im angry now. im going to do the absolute best i can for him, im calling around other vets tomorrow to see what can be done, im going to get second opinions and ask if what this vet did was as wrong as i think it is. i am preparing for the worst but working hard for the best and i am never going back to that place, they've taken thousands of dollars from us in the last two years with most of it from just this weekend and for what? just to be pushed aside?

please everyone keep teddy in your thoughts and hope he can somehow recover from this, hope he can make it through the night and finally pee, he can pee on whatever he wants i dont even care i just want him back to normal

please help me pay my kitties emergency vet bill!

ive never done this before but one of my cats just had to get an extremely sudden emergency procedure and i don't know what to do, my vet and i have reached out to a couple incredible programs here to help with the bill but one is less than half and the other hasn't replied back yet, i've already declined the blood work (CA$356) to lower the bill at the risk of possible underlying liver and kidney issues not being found but its still a monumental amount for us right now. i just feel so helpless

we had enough to pay the minimum deposit to get the procedure started in time thankfully, but we were already scraping by as it is and now we're in desperate need of funds to eat/pay rent/pay off any remainder of the bill. i am disabled without aid and have been unable to work/haven't worked since 2015 but am on track to hopefully start working pt this fall. i live with my mom who has 3-4 jobs including one seasonal job which needless to say is stressful and wearing her down. we unfortunately are stuck in the most expensive place to live in canada with the inability to save up to flee so the cycle is never ending.

this is Teddy, my typically very silly vocal happy boy who's not quite 2 yet, my comfort king, my little muffin who acts like a weighted blanket for me at night and eases my anxiety, his favourite toy is his pink unicorn poof, he loves car rides and he can shake paw!

he got a sudden urinary blockage last night with no straight answer as to why and progressively got worse as the night went on, i didnt sleep at all, i was panicking and bawling, naturally, and raced to the vet to get in as soon as the door opened. i assumed it was a uti which wouldn't have been as costly, but it turned out to be much more severe and life threatening. i never expected my usually extremely healthy boy to suddenly be at risk of that and im still trying to just process whats been happening

he needed to be sedated and given a catheter and some medication, the total bill came to CA$985.62, of which we were barely able to pay 500 of, and one program was able to donate 300 leaving a total of CA$185.62 for the bill. this, of course, leaves us scrambling for food and rent as well

i know there are a lot of fundraisers out there needing donations right now, and i really hate letting myself be so open and raw like this but even a dollar would help tremendously and i would be forever grateful for any help whatsoever, even a rb to signal boost is greatly appreciated <3

TLDR; my cat had a sudden life threatening issue and now we can't pay the full vet bill or pay for food/rent

Paypal

[chicagonurse14]

I let people assume that I left bedside nursing because I was burnt out from the trauma, burnt out from seeing people die, burnt out from being overworked. Overworked. All of that led to burnout but that's not the reason I left a bedside. That's not the reason I won't ever go back. I never want to be faced with the immense pressure of having to decide between three people in need. I will never forget the overwhelming and crushing feeling of helplessness I felt. It's been 3 years but it feels like yesterday. I will never forget that on the evening shift, there were 14 patients with two RNs working. I had one patient whose blood pressure was over 200 and they were admitted for a previous stroke, meaning they were very high risk for having another stroke. I was medicating her with IV medication that required vitals recheck every 10 minutes because it was so strong that if she dropped too fast she could pass out. At the same time, a bed alarm was going off with my patient who could barely walk because they had to make a bowel movement. I remember pleading with them to please wait for me, because I knew she would fall but I also was trying to draw up the medication for the man's blood pressure and give it to him first. Then at the same time, a call light was going off and I could see into the patient's room and the woman was crying because she was in so much pain and needed medication. I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest crushing me and I couldn't get enough air in. All three of these patients were suffering. They knew I couldn't be in three places at once but I was suffering because I felt so helpless. The other nurse couldn't help me, I had called for her but she was in another room and wasn't responding to me at all. All. Plus she had seven patients of her own. I ran to give the first patient the blood pressure medicine and prayed to God that he didn't pass out. That I ran to the patient who needed to poop with a plan to leave on the toilet while medicating the other patient who was in pain. However, when I got to her room she had defecated on herself and was crying. I felt terrible. I said was so sorry. I lied and said I was going to get warm wipes to clean her up. I just wanted to run out of that room and give the other patient her pain meds because I was already too late and there was poop everywhere. It can wait another 2 minutes. I ran into the last patient room and gave her pain medication and she was sobbing. She was in so much pain and just wanted me to hold her but I couldn't. I tried to sound as empathetic as possible even though I was running out of her room. I wanted her to know that I really did care that she was in pain and I wanted her to feel better but I also couldn't stay any longer. Then I ran to the other room to check the blood pressure. And finally ran back to the patient and cleaned the bowel movement off of them.

Now if I look back on this and think that this was an extreme example and saying I could never go back to bedside is dramatic, I want my future self to know that that is a false assumption. Situations like this happen a lot. And they happen too much to me in those first 5 years. As a nurse, that I feel like I have this permanent scar tissue around my soul. I still have empathy, but when faced with the choice to care for people in need, I don't want to do it. Part of me feels like a terrible human for admitting that, but I only want to care for myself and my loved ones. Now. I don't want to be a martyr. I don't want to keep chipping away my soul. Because I'm going to lose my empathy. Those last few months being a nurse and being faced with these terrible decisions made me realize that I was losing my caring nature. I remember my last shift being on my lunch break, and my patient calling for pain medication. I told them I would be there as soon as I could. But I kept eating my lunch. I didn't care. They could wait. In reality, I could have given them their pain medicine, and then continued my lunch in peace.

I realized I've never leaving this nurse practitioner job. It's telemedicine. I'm never faced with another physical human being again. I'll never be faced with the pressure that I was faced with before. Nor will I ever have the pressure of being the soul person responsible for someone's care. This current job is a specialty, so I only focus on a small area of a patient's care and I really don't impact their health trajectory. It's such a relief. I'm not utilizing 99% of my MP knowledge and I'm losing it over time which means it will be impossible for me to switch jobs and another 5 years. So I'm stuck here and I'm okay with that. Whatever they throw at me, I'm going to take it because it's better than going back to bedside or even the office side. I don't want to touch another human being again as a health care professional

[soul-heart-and-beyond]

(Development Meme) What are your headcanons for Jim Starling/Negaduck in DT17 post-TDKR?

Well, since I’m finally popping out of my small break since I’ve been feeling so fatigued lately, I’ll drop off a few stuff for this. Can’t say I’ll remember everything I had thought of when it first came out, but I’ll give it a try! (I don’t even remember if I reblogged the development meme at this point so this was a bit unexpected.)

First of all, I think it’s good to start off with Jim and his whole life before the accident happened as usually the past does help explain the present, and the future. Gotta say that he probably doesn’t have the best house in Duckburg, since we haven’t seen St. Canard yet to really make something of it, and he’s barely making ends meet to keep that place to himself. 

Those meetings and conventions that he goes to are pretty much his main source of income, which definitely fluctuates given the amount of people in the area that actually care about his work. So whenever he isn’t about to make a decent amount there from the charges he gives, he’ll try to find some manual labor or an advertising gig to scrounge up a few bucks.

With that one season being cancelled and overall the show just not getting a reboot or sequel series, it left Jim pretty much heartbroken that his series that he put so much dedication and heart into just wasn’t going to get a proper finale. And that’s pretty much been in the recess of his mind ever since as he loved playing the character, being something that children and perhaps even adults could look up to as a source of vigor and inspiration.

And that goes to saying that whenever he wasn’t in character, he definitely had his problems, being too whiny and wanted things to be done absolutely well in a way that wouldn’t damage his likeliness alongside with doing his own stunts to truly get into character. However he wasn’t really fond of those he had to work with that didn’t like how he did his work, mainly due to the injuries that he would inflict upon the actors. It was nothing personal against them, but he was trying to give his audience a good show.

Another thing is that Jim used to be pretty fit in his prime, which is another factor in why no one would want to do the stunts with him or action scenes as his blows would pack a whallop. Even to this day while he may be a little out of shape, he still has that strength but just slower now due to his lack of maintaining all parts of his body.

He’s been trying to get some acting parts to work in after the show was cancelled, but most of the time they don’t tend to work out so well because he still has traces of that Jim Sterling, that Darkwing Duck character he grew so used to in other portrayals and it can be a bit weird to have to see it. Nothing like a split personality, but just moments that seem all too recognizable to a character from a cancelled show.

Like how it’s done in the episode, Jim already had shown signs of degrading into Negaduck before the explosion, so it’s really safe to say gradually his mental stability and moral standards were being lowered constantly every time he kept getting pressured in a way that wasn’t to his liking. 

While Jim does like attention and fame as it really is something that can be quite intoxicating and he can’t really help himself with it, there are times where he can push that back to take a look at the bigger picture, decide what is truly right for him and others, and go through with it. It’s been one of those small things that has fended off the mental degradation for so long.

Now for Negaduck, which is pretty open ended given how the episode just ends right around his reveal.

For the time being, it’s a good bet that he’s probably gonna be a wild card that runs off to St. Canard and start trouble there as for one: he won’t have to deal with Gizmoduck and Scrooge until it gets to a point where he’s obtained a lot of power or made his presence very clear, and two: it does have attachment and resemblance to the city he used to protect in the fictional show of Darkwing Duck, so it might be just dramatic themes being displayed here and there.

So far, like most others have said before me, Jim still thinks fondly of Launchpad, as he still cares about him, and is probably gonna want for him to either not be hurt by his actions or wanting to bring him over to his side of things. Obviously not many people are going to break through to him and Drake definitely won’t given how he detests the guy.

Most likely he won’t have most of the stuff OG Negaduck is known for outside of chainsaws and firearms, but that’s due to other factors. He’s probably not going to get a gas gun or multi purpose gun of his own, and will be using close quarters combat mostly unless it deals with sci fi weaponry.

Probably gonna make a bunch of small hideouts and stashes for himself all over St. Canard from pillaging some of Scrooge’s or Flintheart’s delivery trucks with stuff that he finds suitable for himself.

He may try to band together his own Fearsome Five or Four as a means of trying to deal with Gizmoduck or F.O.W.L. should the latter make themselves aware of his activities and try to contact him. 

And we may get a Negaverse special/centric episode this season, so there is a chance that he may meet the alternate versions of himself, Drake, and Launchpad. It’s small, but I think it might be pretty interesting if he found a version of him that actually was what he wanted to be, yet to find that his biggest fan was doing things that he is currently doing yet seemingly not like the one Launchpad that had been there to see him at all of those conventions and gatherings.

[heeseung-min]

can i request yandere! peter pan! riki? he takes y/n to neverland and made them stay with him forever pls? thanks

[11:06]

"Y/n, where is our dinner? I told you to cook, didn't I?"

"Mum, I'm sorry but can you do it by yourself? I have many assignments to do."

Your mother scoffed and slapped your cheek. It hurt so bad that you want to cry but you keep holding it.

"This is why I hate you. I wish it's you who die instead of your father."

The woman said as she went out from your room. Your mother is such a kind woman and always take care of the family needs but when your father died five years ago in accident where he wanted to fetch you from school, everything's changed. Your mother doesn't love you anymore and keep blaming you for his death.

You also wished you die instead of your father. Your mother treated you like a maid and always comparing you to other's children. You were tired of this shit. Why would you live when you always get treated like this?

"I wish I can run away from here." You mumbled as you finally closed your book and went to sleep.

____________________________________________

"hi y/n!"

"what do you want,riki?"

"ayy, why are you so grumpy? Did you step on a poop this morning?"

Riki laughed after said that but you kept quiet and only continued doing your work. The boy stopped laughing when he didn't get your attention. He sit beside you and started to poke your cheek that got slapped by your mother yesterday.

"Ouch!"

"I didn't poke that hard. Why are you whimpering?"

Riki leaned closer to take a look at your cheek. He frowned when he saw bruise and looking at you with a concerned eyes.

"Your mom did that to you? Again?"

You slowly nodded your head confirming what he had speculated. Riki sighed loudly and wrapped his hand on his head.

"Hey, it's okay. It's nothing new."

"What the fuck you mean it's okay? It's not, y/n! She shouldn't treat you like this."

You looked down fiddled with your skirt. Riki felt guilty after shouting just now. It just he didn't like to see you hurt and be okay with it. He leaned his forehead to you and looked into your eyes.

"Do you want to run away?"

"Yes, but how?"

"I will bring you to my neverland."

"What?"

Riki only smiled and close her sight with his hands. For seconds, she didn't understand what Riki had said just now and just let the boy do anything.

"Welcome to the Neverland, y/n."

Riki removed his hands from the girl and let her look around the place. Y/n was astonished on how the place has picturesque view and everything screams perfect to her. She loves how soothing the vibe is. The girl turned to Riki and gasped when the boy was floating instead of standing on the ground like her.

"How- how can you do that?"

"Honey, I am peter pan." He giggled when you didn't understand and hold your hand to fly together so he can show you the surrounding.

"I am peter pan and this is the Neverland. You can do anything you want at here and never be worry about it. It's a good place for you."

You were so happy playing and enjoying the Neverland with him. It's the first time Riki had seen you with a true happiness and not the one that you use to hide your pain. He didn't want that to get ruin again. He wanted to be the reason for your smile.

It's been hours and you already comfortable with the place. The lost boys also has become close to you and some of them even wanted you to be their sister. Riki lowkey felt jealous when looking at the interaction but he gave them a signal through the eyes and that's enough for the lost boys to make the boundaries.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling really grateful, Riki. Thank you so much."

Riki cupped your face to give some pecks on your lips. He smirked at you when he saw your cheeks flushes red.

"I love you, y/n."

"I love you too."

____________________________________________

It's been weeks and you were slowly missing your mother. Even though she didn't treat you good enough but still you miss her because she is the important person in your life.

It's not like the life in Neverland is boring. It's really good. You were having fun with Riki and the Lost Boys. You learned new things every single day with them. However, you wanted to see how is your mother doing too.

"Riki, can I ask for something?"

"Sure, love. What do you want?"

Riki said as he went in front of you pulling closer to his body by hugging you on your waist.

"Can I go back to my home?"

"What do you mean by home, y/n? This is your home. It's everything that you want. Are you starting to hate it?"

You shook your head and trying to think better words to not upset your boyfriend.

"I love it. I really love it but I just worried about my mother. I miss her."

"That old bitch woman?"

"Riki."

"You don't need her y/n. Why would you miss her? I am your boyfriend and I should be the one who is important than that woman."

"Riki, that woman is my mother!" You sternly said when your boyfriend started to disrespect your mother. Riki hold his anger and glared at your face. He couldn't really being angry at your for too long so he just sighed to calm himself down.

"You really want to see your mother?"

"Yes."

"This is the last time you will be seeing your mother, okay? I don't want you to have any business with her."

"Okay." You uttered although it was too hard to accept it but at least you get to see your mother.

"Riki, what- what is this?"

"It's your mother, honey. Say hi."

It's horrible. It is your mother but she's dead. Her eyes were still open and there were many bruises on her body. She also lost one of her hands. Too much to handle, you fell to the ground and back away from the corpse. Riki holding you tightly from being far. He forced you to stared at the body.

"Say hi, y/n. This is the last time you will meeting her."

"What- what did.. what did you do?" Your body was trembling and tears started to wet your cheeks. Your boyfriend was kissing it as if it can calms you down which is actually making it worse.

"She should not hurt what's mine. That's why I killed her because anyone who touches or hurt you must be gone."

taglist💗: @stacey-stonem

phew😲that was tough, how is it? i hope this satisfy you^^ thank you for the request! please comments, likes and reblogs😊😊

[00sheven]

business as usual

(taking a scary and unpredictable time and making it mor scary and unpredictable.)

well shit,

unemployment.

unemployment is insisting on giving me a good spanking.

when I was on it before I was using it as a safety net. a lot of stagehands will file for it to fill in gaps between work ( it is considered being under employed) so at least they receive some income when things get slow. it's not much but at least its something.

in my case I believe if I made over 200 and change I wasnt eligible to receive benifits. (maybe 300 I dont remember, but it wouldnt be much over that) it is impossible to live on but you can pay a bill and buy some groceries.

well silly me forgot to log sick time into one of my certifications.

you practically need a course in simple accounting when being a freelance stage hand when filling out an unemployment certification. (jokes.)

when you know you wont quailifiy you have to do it anyways.

how many hours did you work?

tally tally tally tally tally

who were your employers?

list employers 1 through let's just say 10

A) employer's name and address

how much money did you make?

tally tally tally (didn't get paid yet) guess tally tally guess guess tally tally.

did you look for work?

yes

provide contact information.

who

what

where

when

why.

have you pooped today and if do how many times.

hopefully you are getting the drift.

I was happy to do it, it was helping me out.

anyhow, forgetting to log in sick time.

I forgot to log in sevral hours of sick time and was paid by my employer and unemployment.

honest mistake.

well, I had to pay back the money, fair enough.

then I had to pay penalty money, understandable. they will let me make payments.

we are going to refuse benifits for (I cant remember how long) okay that sucks.

(apparently) you must continue to certify for benifits during this period to be eligible for unemployment benifits. that you are not going to recieve.

what I have not mentioned.

I was going through such a bad depression at that time that I couldn't even put on my shoes. I would sleep for one or two days at a time. I would leave my bed to eat and use the restroom, it was difficult to do simple things like hygiene related tasks. I know it's hard for people to understand. you really cant unless you experience it for yourself, and I wouldnt wish that on anyone.

I worked when work was available, but it was very difficult.

I scraped by and made enough to pay off the debt.

I thought I was done and got off unemployment.

although I needed it I managed to get by without out it. I ended up getting a job with the AV company (the one i was working with full time until all this craziness started happening. see earlier posts) on a freelance basis, and doing music production as a runner. I started making good money and making ends meet. dont get me wrong. I wasn't making enough to get an apartment. but I was making enough money to live a little more comfortably at the hobo compound. ( see hobo compound in previous posts.)

kick in the balls time. (recap)

I have to move from the hobo compound.

(the overlords are remodeling wont be taking tenets anymore) I am homeless, goose moves in at the outpost.

(see money breakdown in earlier post. if you think my bills went down, they didnt.)

covid 19

I work in the entertainment industry. no shows. no work. I get laid off.

(lots of other fucked up shit happens. review the blog if you wish.)

I have to refile for unemployment.

my case gets accepted, no mention of previous problems.

2 maybe 3 weeks later. nothing.

I check my account online last night.

your benifits are denied for this week due to penalty period.

the next week

your benifits are denied for this week due to penalty period.

what the fuck.

I paid the money back.

I paid the penalty money.

I did the pointless certifications.

how much longer is this going to last?

I tried to make a call to talk to them.

they are no longer taking calls.

I go online and through an online maze to find something close to a predetermined question that I can choose from that matches my situation.

it allows me to ask for information.

message sent.

we will get back to you in 5 to 7 business days.

okay I'll wait.

I have an indefinite amount of money to sustain the goose and I while we wait.

it's cool guys.

this commercial break is brought to you by the circle jerks and the endowment for the arts.

next

I wake up to a vague text message from the insurance adjuster.

as you can see from my response I required a little more information.

why?

what you dont know.

when dealing with my insurance company

I was kept in the dark

they didnt respond to my calls

I found out they settled my claim when I went to pay my bill

they sent the check to the hobo compound.

the check was issued to the guy I bought the car from.

they didnt notify me of a settlement at all.

they didnt inform me about where I should go to get my car fixed. as far as I know they got a random estimate and then subtracted 500 dollars for my deductible.

the payout to my claim was like 730. somthing dollars.

when I called them to inquire

goes though phone maze.

waits on hold due to covid 19

finally gets through.

it appears we forgot to subtract 20% for some type of fee. you were over paid we are going to stop payment on your check.

we can write you another check minus 20% or you can contact the insurance company the other party yourself to see if you have better luck. we are terribly sorry for the inconvenience.

yeah, fuck you.

so I call the insurance of the other party.

phone maze

on hold, covid 19

we thought this claim was closed

no it is not. I rejected the offer from my company. why would I pay a 500 dollar deductible when I am 100 percent not at fault.

we need to talk to your insurance company call you back.

they call back

we see you want to settle through us we are going to send a guy in a couple of days.

yesterday.

guy shows up hella early in the morning. (yell talks.) is rude. tells me a guy is gonna call me to discuss outcome of my claim. takes pictures. leaves.

today.

hella early receives text message.

try to text number the text originates from.

you can't text that number.

why would I want to speak to someone regarding my claim you ask.

well I'll tell you. it so happens I'm my case that people are dropping the fucking ball mother fuckers and I want to avoid any more possible complications and dragging this situation out any further than it needs to be.

so.

I call insurance co.

goes through phone maze

doesn't have correct option.

chooses incorrect option in an attempt to speak to someone.

gets put on hold due to covid 19

someone answers.

you need to talk to claims. I will try and contact your adjuster. (knows who I am because of phone number.)

your adjuster isn't available. I will put you through to someone who can give you the information you've requested.

gets put on hold.

other person picks up.

I repeat information to new person.

new person has no idea who I am. (has no information tied to my phone number.)

new person asks when the loss occurred.

I dont know that off the top of my head.

new person can't proceed without that info.

I dig the info up.

new person what was the other parties name.

I'm getting really annoyed at this time

digs up other parties name.

new person can you spell other parties name

I spell other parties name.

new person do you have a claim number

how may fucking people with that name on that date have had accidents mother fucker.

gets put on hold.

waiting on hold

waiting on hold

waiting on hold

new person comes back.

new person. here is the number and extension for you claim adjuster.

hangs up

calls insurance company

goes through phone maze

puts in extension

phone rings

phone rings

phone rings

phone rings

some weird electronic music comes on.

electronic music plays instead of going to voice mail.

keeps playing

keeps playing

keeps playing

keeps playing

I hang up

calls insurance company

goes through phone maze

something goes wrong hangs up

calls insurance company

goes through phone maze chooses different option

something goes wrong hangs up

calls insurance company

goes through phone maze

chooses different option

gets put on hold due to covid 19

something goes wrong hangs up

calls insurance company

goes through phone maze

puts in extension number again

gets put on hold due to covid 19

adjuster picks up the phone.

the clouds part and Angel's sing

talks to adjuster for 3 minutes confirming information is correct.

hangs up the phone.

next.

3/31/20

red tape circle jerks

[jacobseedvaas35]

A Love Like No Other

Jacob Seed X OC Ana Pearce

Warnings: Violence, Smut, Mention of abuse

Word Count: 1388

Tags: @dolphinitley

Chapter Six

Two weeks later, all of Ana's scars and bruises on her face, had finally disappeared. The belt marks on her back though, not so much. Some of the very bad marks remained on her skin and she didn't like it. She was embarrassed to wear tops or dresses that made the scars visible. No matter how many times Jacob complimented her and tried to make her feel good about it, Ana just wouldn't buy it. She started hiding herself in her cabin when people came to visit Joseph but she did make the effort of attending Joseph's sermon, at his church. She would wear jackets, jumpers or anything that hid the scars on her back.

Hannah and John had organised to throw a party in Holland Valley, near the lake side. Beers, food and music, it had everything. The dress code was to wear swimsuits, bikinis or whatever, because swimming in the Lake was a big must.

Ana thought the party was just between the two families, not knowing her sister and John had invited others to the party. Ana wore her bikinis but also wore a long shirt over it, so that he scars won't show.

"This is going to be an amazing time" Hannah said with excitement. "We will swim, dance, eat and drink, till midnight".

"Oh I don't know about midnight but yes, it will be a lot of fun" Joseph chuckled.

An hour later, slowly the guest started to arrive. Much to Ana's disappointment. She looked for Jacob and found him, starting a camp fire. "I thought this was just for our family? No one told me that other people were going to come".

"I thought you knew" Jacob said, standing up.

"No, I had no idea. Take me home Jacob".

"Ana, don't start. It's going to be a lot of fun and it will do you a lot of good".

"I don't want to be around other people. I feel insecure".

"Why? You're beautiful" Jacob approached her and put his arms around her waist. "There is nothing to be insecure about. Plus if anyone gives you a bad eye, they'll have me to deal with".

Ana sighed and gave him a small nod. Jacob pressed his lips on the top of her head, held her hand and walked her back to the small crowd, at the party.

She hated her father so much more now. He left these scars on her body, which now made her feel insecure and as if people were judging her. It was a terrible feeling but she had to fight all of it away. Ana knew she needed to get herself involved in big crowds. She had a protective brother and boyfriend. There was nothing she had to worry about.

-

As the afternoon reached, the party was already lit. People were swimming in the lake. Eating and drinking. Some were even dancing. Ana stayed by Jacob's side the whole time but found herself panicking again. People were forcing her to take her shirt off and get into the water and it was driving her crazy but she tried not to show it.

"Jacob I want to go home now" Ana whispered into his ear.

"Why? Aren't you having fun?" Jacob asked.

"No" Ana became impatient. "I'm ready to explode to the next person who tells me to take my shirt off".

Jacob looked at her and realised how annoyed she looked.

"All I want is to go home. You can stay and have your fun, don't let me poop on your parade but I want out of here. Right. Now" Ana said through her teeth.

"Fine. I'll get one of my men to take you home" Jacob stood up and escorted Ana out of the woods and to the car.

"Scott" Jacob called out to one of his men.

"Yes sir?"

"Take Ana home. If there is nobody there, keeping an eye on things, you stay with her. Understood?"

"Yes Jacob" Scott said.

"I'll see you tonight" Jacob turned to Ana.

Ana didn't say anything to him and followed Scott to the car.

Jacob returned back to the party, a little down after sending Ana home by herself but he had definitely understood how she was feeling, being around this big crowd and no one warned her about it.

"Where did Ana go?" Blake approached him.

"Home. She wasn't feeling really comfortable around the crowd. People were pushing her limits a little" Jacob informed Blake.

"I thought Hannah told her that all these people were going to come?"

"I thought she did too but apparently Ana didn't know. I feel bad" Jacob said.

"Hey, it's fine. Stay a bit more then you can go home whenever you want" Blake smiled and put his hand on Jacob's shoulder, before walking away.

-

The sun was now replaced by the moon and the stars were shining bright as well. The party had finally broken up and everyone was making their way home. Jacob was still feeling down and upset that, Ana wasn't there to have fun with him. As they pulled up into Joseph's compound, Ana was sitting on the small pier next to the church.

She stood up and walked over, greeting them with a smile. "How was the party?".

"Amazing. You should have stayed" Hannah said.

"Glad you all had fun" Ana responded back and walked over to Jacob, hugging him around the waist.

He hugged her back tightly, kissing her on the top of her head, then grabbed her hand and walked to their cabin.

-

The next morning, everyone was a little hung over but they all still managed to get out off bed and have a nice family breakfast, at Joseph's house.

"Yesterday was great and all but damn, I regret drinking so much" Blake said.

"Tell me about it" John responded to his comment.

"What did you do yesterday, Ana?" Haley asked her little sister.

"Watched movies and read some books. Had my little own party right here" Ana said with a smile on her face.

"You really need to stop hiding yourself, Ana" Hannah joined into the conversation.

"Sorry?" Ana asked.

"You just have to get over everything and get out there more often. The scars on your back are nothing to be dramatic about" Hannah said, not realising that her words were hurtful.

"Hannah" Blake called out, signalling to her to stop talking.

"What? I'm just saying. Stop being a drama queen and childish" Hannah said, pushing the limits.

Ana slammed her hands on the table and stood up with anger. "I'm sorry for being such a fucking drama queen Hannah".

"Ana. She didn't mean to say that" Blake tried to calm his little sister down.

"Bullshit, she didn't mean to say that" Ana turned to him. "What the hell do you expect me to do? Be of them?"

"Ana, I'm sorry..."

"I'm going to live the rest of my life with these scars and remembering the day that I got them. I can assure you Hannah, i didn't get them from falling or hitting my back on something. I got them from an abusive father. Now that's not something to be fucking proud of" Ana said in a lot of anger.

"Ana, she's apologised" Jacob finally stepped in.

"Get away from me" she pushed him away from her and ran out off Joseph's house.

"Well done Hannah. You just couldn't shut your big fucking mouth, could you?" Blake said and ran after Ana.

Haley and Joseph looked at each other, both in a lot of disappointment towards Hannah as well. Haley threw her fork onto the plate and walked out off the house as well.

"I'm usually a very calm person but I can't believe you said that to her Hannah" Faith said. "I'm disappointed in you".

"You were there the day your sister got those scars. Hungover or not, how could you even say something like that to the poor girl?" John asked. "She feels insecure about herself already, you didn't have any right to add onto it".

Hannah looked down at her lap, embarrassed and angry with herself too.

"I better go next to Ana" Jacob informed the remaining people.

"Jacob!" Blake came running into the house, panicking.

"What's wrong?" Joseph asked and stood up.

"It's Ana. We can't find her"

[ofcloudsandstars]

(Pt. 1) Hi same anon here. Thank you for your incredibly detailed response. I didn't mean to sound like I was belittling your own practice - I believed I was a natural witch, from a young age I started worshiping nature and practicing magic but

it wasn’t till I was older I realized what I was doing was called witchcraft so I identified as a witch. I’ve never had amazing things or coincidences happen to me. I’m also a Capricorn rising and I deal with a lot of mental blockage and idk  guess I came to the conclusion that witchcraft couldn’t be “real”, because if it was, wouldn’t I be seeing it more often in my daily life? it’s just discouraging because I feel like I’m sabotaging my own faith (I’m mentally ill) and I can’t help my state of mind sometimes… sorry this is all convoluted but I admire how you experience witchcraft and magical happenings in your daily life, because I’ve been trying for years and years and haven’t really had anything happen to me despite what I believe to be a natural affinity for magic and witchcraft that I have… anyways I guess I just wanted to hear what you thought, how you keep going even when magic doesn’t seem to work. In my case for years it didn’t work.

lol SToP!!!!!I am also a Capricorn rising hahahaahaha but like Neptune and Uranus is in my first house so maybe it counter acts the negative hardass Capricorn shit?? Tbh I just figured out my true rising sign like.. yesterday.. and I still don’t know how to process it. lol. I truly thought and identified with Sagittarius rising, it’s like thinking your parents are Lily and James Potter but really your parents were the Dursley’s all along and all of my ugly outer traits were just highlighted by this sign that’s ruled by Saturn I was like NOOOOOOOO but the previous stuff from the last star chart I thought I had is gone so its not such a terrible fucking exchange. (Plus my north node is in the 12th house? How interesting!) Also maybe I identified so much with Sag rising cause I am an Aries Moon Libra Sun and the combination could probably have similarities to that sign.

I deal with mental blockages too, like every year is always a new Episode of some crazy mental battle I have with myself. I really do not know if I am a neurotypical but either once a year I deal with like, my fucking perception of reality shifting (think of it like how in those random cartoon episodes, the drawing animation would suddenly become claymation or like anime, but this is real life, and it’s hard for me to verbalize whats happening around me like I felt like I stepped into an alternate reality, or I am not the same person or I am dissociating so hard), or if it’s not that, my entire mental state goes upside down and there’s a new big bad anxiety in town like a boss fight I have to conquer to proceed and last year it was literally me trying to find my will to live cause my anxiety was so bad I couldn’t even hunt for a job or do literally ANYTHING I would spend weeks in bed like simultaneously exhausted and terrified and now I have finally got my shit together to an extent but still dealing with the fallout of wasting literally an entire year not doing anything and now job hunting is a little more challenging cause employers don’t want to hear those type of excuses haha. BUT ANYWAY-

You need to define what is real in witchcraft cause the majority of things that have happened to me have been eerie coincidences. You might not have noticed it, or just brushed off certain things as coincidences anyway. Also I wrote a personal theory to how I think will, fate and magic works in life and that a lot of magic you want to manifest can not take place without action. Like if you want to travel, save up money and cast a spell and you never know, but the spell might attract an opportunity to you to go someplace nice and the money you saved will help you be able to afford it. I’m unsure how you have been practicing but sometimes some things you want to manifest need some level of action to be taken. One thing that has also influenced the way I think about these things (and I think it really helped me learn how to manifest) was when I was a kid I saw the Matrix and that scene where Neo had to jump over the buildings made a mark on me haha. Everyone falls their first time cause they don’t believe they can make the jump. They get intimidated by the reality around them and don’t realize it’s their mind that shapes it. But as Morpheus said- if you know you can do it, you can do it. Having a belief like ‘this doesn’t exist’ might cut through your actions of trying to manifest something. But just meditate and make yourself know you can and what you want will happen to you. Don’t worry about feeling foolish or anything cause once again this is something personal to you and you can view it as a spiritual thing no one should judge you for, but focus on the idea that you know you have the ability to manifest what you want and the rest will follow.

also once again- not everyone practices magic the same and maybe you just haven’t found your thing that helps you manifest. I have a close witchy friend that is very aligned with fire and just.. burns herbs for spells. lol. And to me it’s like wtf… But observing her it really makes sense. She has made incredible things happen by just burning herbs but I know if I did that I would just feel like I made some nice smelling smoke but that’s it. Maybe you need to find what aligns with you. Blowing things away? Burying? Just pure visualization? Burning shit? Showers and baths? Drinking things? If you feel like you have a natural affinity for magic and witchcraft where is that pulling you towards? What in life makes you feel the most magical? You can literally make ANYTHING into a magical craft. If you like music there is a lot of ways to make listening music into a magical craft. If you like eating, boy is there tons of things for you to do hahaha. This might be TMI but once while on the toilet I thought about someone I deeply could not stand in highschool since they were a toxic cesspool of a person and I thought about banishing them from my life as I took a poo and they never spoke to me or interacted with my circle of friends again and its also my personal reasoning as to why no one can talk shit to other witches about emoji spells cause like if I can make poop magic a thing then it’s really about the witch’s personal power than the means they go to achieve it lmao. (Sorry if that was TMI I am regretting sharing this yet here I am still publishing it). Maybe there is something you want to achieve that you are PUSHING too hard. I notice my magic gets blocked when I am pushing it to be something it isn’t like it flows a certain way and has its own body and it needs to be respected. I kind of lost my touch for a bit when I got into crystals cause I love crystals aesthetically but they really are unhelpful to me magically (I mean another reason is that I am just kind of figuring them out but they still aren’t necessary to my craft), but I easily regain my power when I do energy exercises or visit places that recharge my energy and I don’t stress when doing magic cause stress ruins it for me. If you feel like it’s unnatural though you do feel like you have this natural affinity you are probably pushing yourself the wrong way and you need to figure out a method that really resonates with you!