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toomiieimagiines · 3 months ago

Note

hihihi

uhm so am i allowed to request again (i don’t wanna spam) 😭😭🙏

and if i am can u pls do a rui x hopeless romantic best friend reader (i’m totally normal about best friends to lovers lmfao)

so like the reader is always yapping about hot guys and it’s a little angsty at first because rui is thinking to himself ‘why did i have to fall inlove with someone that won’t ever choose me’ and then one day a hot guy comes up to reader and asks her out, reader is about to say yes but then she realises that she barely knew him and there was someone (rui) who had been by her side since day one and she figures out who she really loves (RUIII) so she rejects him and when rui asks why she just hugs him and says ‘because your the one i really want’ mwah mwah i feel like such a genius (i really hope this made sense lmao be prepared for a million bestie-> lovers and angst-> fluff rui requests 😼)

thank youyoyoyoyoyuuu!!

hi guys! i’m so so incredibly sorry for how inactive i have been! unfortunately, the fanfic writer curse caught up to me, and i’ve had considerably bad things happen to me! ToT

i had developed a really bad addiction after a recent episode - which may be why i’ve loved to write my characters so miserable, but they get a happy ending in the end - and have recently relapsed after a couple months. i’ve also been struggling with a lot of things, like being bullied again, pressure from theater, classes, autism, parental issues, memory of past trauma, having no friends, things like that. i’ve just been having a really hard time, so writing has been super difficult for me. i’m currently having some of the worst mental health in my life, and am un-recovering from other things i’ve had in the past too, after seeing the results of my recovery. sorry if this triggered anybody, i just needed to get this off my chest, and felt also that i should explain where i have been. you all supporting me has kept me going, and i hope you enjoy this one too! LETS END THE PITY PARTY!!!

in other - not so depressing news - here you guys go!! sorry for OOCness, obviously this is a more dramatic approach to a story! happy ending, j tried to write the inner narration differently for how you two were feeling at the time.. and ty once again for such a great idea, mama ^3^

“I don’t think I could stand to be where you don’t see me.”

If he has to sit here and listen to this one more time, he thinks he’ll go insane.

Rui Kamishiro loves you. He truly does. You’re his best friend, his partner in crime, his-

Never mind.

Rui loves you, but he absolutely HATES your taste in guys, and it’s driving him nuts. Nodding and agreeing can only get him so far before he wants to rip his own hair out, and tonight is no exception.

“I give up! All boys are dumb, I don’t need them!” You lament, resting your chin in your hands. It’s the same song and dance over and over. You swear off boys, you get attention, you get sucked in, and he has to pick up the pieces when it inevitably fails. How many times has he thought about how much better he would treat you now? He doesn’t know. He’d be a classical lover, he’d never speak to you the way those stupid unprincipled high school boys do.

Gross. That’s his best friend, why’d he think that? And when did he start being so self confident? He really outta look at himself in the mirror. What an egomaniac he’s turning out to be.

He shakes his head.

“You do know I’m still a boy, right?” He prods, trying to cheer you up. He knows this situation well, and he knows exactly how to make you feel better. Again he’d pull you out of this, and again he’d watch you fall in love.

He wishes you could be happy. He wishes you weren’t in love with being in love. You’re too pure for true love, love is disgusting, depraved, and unkind. You’re not anything like that.

“I know, I know, but you’re the only good one!” You point, words self-assured. “I don’t need a boyfriend, you do everything boyfriendy for me anyway!”

Ouch. Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what he needed to hear right now. He’s not gonna dwell on that last bit for now, he’ll wait until he’s home. Then he can- he doesn’t know. Cry, or something juvenile like that.

“So I’m back-up-boyfriend?” He masks himself in jest, smiling teasingly at you.

“Eh, maybe,” you snicker, “you’d definitely be cute if you weren’t my friend.”

He turns to his school work sharply, trying to mask his complete and utter despair. Ugh, why does he have to be so dramatic? His own personality makes his skin crawl with disgust and hatred, and that only makes him cringe more. He could think about how obnoxious he is all day. Maybe he should use that go home and cry pass early. He pretends to check the time, as if that isn’t all he’s been doing.

“It’s getting late, after this problem I should get going.” He mutters, scribbling some random numbers into his notebook. You yawn in response, being broken out of absentmindedly scrolling through your phone.

“Ugh, I wish you didn’t have to go!” You drape an arm over his torso, trying to hold him in. He smiles fondly, wrestling to get you off of him.

“I’d have to walk home in the dark then, do you want that?” He knows you’d never let him, and he sees it immediately.

Your face looks knowing, and you let him go right away. It amuses him at first, but quickly fills him with overwhelming pity. You’re so kindhearted it makes him sick. You shouldn’t worry about someone like him, it’s bad for your health.

“Would you like me to walk home with you?!” You shoot up, the idea of him not being safe running through your head. Maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut. How emasculating! He’s not a helpless young girl! He’s just as manly as those boys who you long for, he’s not a puppy to be walked!

God, is jealously turning him into a bigot? He shakes his head once again, this time not just to clear his thoughts. He’s absolutely not letting you walk him home, it’d be mortifying. He takes your attention belly up, you should have a break. Maybe some time to yourself for a change? God, Rui, get a grip.

“I’m fine, I don’t want you out late by yourself either,” he assures, looking at you in haste.

“Ah. You have a point.”

“I always do.” He means more to that, and he wishes he could tell you. He wants you to see that even he knows what he’s talking about. He needs you to see him, just for once. Not as a best friend, or backup boyfriend, just as a regular one. As a lover who dances in the rain, or ties your shoes

He needs to stop. He shouldn’t think about you like that. It’s lecherous.

You two exchange goodbyes, giving him a long hug (much to his horror). He hates how feverish it is it hold you like this, it makes him feel guilty. His body gets hot, his cheeks flare up, his throat feels tight- it makes him feel like a pervert, even if his thoughts are the farthest thing from lewd.

He feels that everything he thinks about you is repulsive, though.

“Be safe”’s and “See you later”’s are passed between you two, and he walks down your front steps, now completely alone. His eyes scan the damp pavement, seeing the golden hues from the sky light the boring rock. That’s how he feels about you, he decides. You’re the sun, and he’s the pavement. He humors himself by thinking that your suitors are the clouds, stopping you from shining your light for him so he can grow weeds in the cracks of his soul. That’s what these feelings are. Weeds.

He wants to live life beautifully with you, he decides. He wants to tie your shoes, he wants to twirl you as you dance.

He wishes he could be the moon. Something of consequence- of importance, but he’s just the pavement. Not the earth, not the stars, not the clouds, or rain, he’s just a man made monster who destroys nature - you - and is walked over by people who do matter.

He should quit being this way, he grumbles, it doesn’t do anybody any good to be so flowery. He’s too girly- too weak. Maybe that’s why you don’t like him. If you’re willing to date anything that moves other than him, that must mean he’s on a completely new level, huh?

That’s what dreaming gets you, Rui. Crushed dreams and embarrassment.

He lets out a pitiful sigh, kicking a pebble with his shoe. He sees a worm in a lawn which reminds him of himself, he sees a couple shopping for a new game which reminds him of you, he sees a convenience store which reminds him that he’s hungry-

His life can be so mundane sometimes, what a drag.

He’s about to reach his front door, when he steps into a puddle. It feels like an appropriate representation of his life right now. A sense of disgraceful hilarity washes over him, and he begins to laugh. He laughs a while, he laughs as he takes his shoes off, he laughs as he peels his button up down, and he laughs as he lays in his bed. How dramatic he could be some times!

He falls asleep quickly. He has a dream about being on stage and forgetting his lines.

He wakes up with a thud, he fell out of bed. How embarrassing. He decides to check his phone.

Weirdo: RUII

Weirdo: wanna hang w me 2day?? u don’t have dance time right??

Weirdo: gonna kill you. WAKE UP

Me: I’m awake, sorry!

Weirdo: finally sleeping beauty

Weirdo: wanna get a snack? i’m simply starved…

Me: When?

Weirdo: an hr maybe…

Me: Okay :) I’ll tell you when I leave.

Weirdo: kay!!

He really doesn’t feel like being social today, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to see you. He’s an obscene degenerate when it comes to you, pouncing on your attention like a sick dog. It’s mortifyingly pathetic.

He gets dressed, throwing on a boring striped sweater. It’s getting colder outside recently, and he’s always ran cold anyway. His hands are shaky and nervous as he brushes his teeth, the anxiousness to see you making his body jittery. He considers breakfast, but quickly shuts the idea down. He doesn’t want to be stressed out - at least more than he already is - when he sees you. Twitchy hands lock his door, and he gets a few feet away before he double checks that he did, in fact, lock it. Pull yourself together, Rui! He screams at himself.

The walk is just as unexciting as he expected, albeit a bit chilly. He’s feeling thankful for the sweater. The breeze runs its hands through his hair, and he’s reminded that winter is coming. He always liked Autumn flowers the best, hibiscus flowers are pretty too, he supposes. It’s nice to have the warmth of the sun soothing his cold hands during summer, for sure.

He trips over a rock on the way, and his pants get wet on the knees. Khaki blends into an ugly brown, and he sighs. How unlucky, would anything go right for him today?

Turns out it will, you look really good today.

You great him at the door, practically buzzing with eagerness. It makes him smile, knowing that you do, in fact, want to see him. Or at least are acting like it. You’re a good friend to him, he’s lucky to have you.

“Rui!” You hug him as a greeting, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. His heart soothes, eyes closing in relaxation. Problems feel obscure and distant when you two are like this, despite his reluctance last night. He can forget about corrupt feelings - or misguided love- and he can just be your best friend. Despite his apprehension to be cared for, he is flattered that you, at least, seem to like him.

“Hey.” He breaths you in, his voice soft. He hopes you don’t notice, it’s embarrassing.

“Hey!” You reply, pulling away. “Big things planned, Rui!”

“What big things?” He asks, amused. “Big things” for you were junk food and shopping.

“Big things! It’s a surprise!” You put your shoes on, and he can’t help but feel jealous as he watches your hands tie them dutifully. He sighs, stretching. He decides to make it a challenge to act normal the whole day. No weird thoughts are going to beguile his mind, he promises himself.

You lock your front door, twisting the knob to make sure that it did, in fact, lock. This fills him with a child-like sense of delight, maybe you two really were similar.

Nah, not possible. You’re too pure - too perfect. Ugh, Rui, no more stupid thoughts.

He watches you check the time, make a face at a nearby bird, and cover your cheeks with your hands. You suddenly perk up, wrapping your arms around him.

“Warm me up, will ya?” You scowl at the cool air, grip tightening. He gulps. It’s weird he reacts like this, considering you two have done things like this all the time. It’s normal, so why does he have to be such a creep? His arms wrap around yours, running his hands up and down to create heat.

“Should’ve worn a jacket,” he chides, “wouldn’t be cold, y’know?” His voice is so casual, like everything is totally fine. It is fine. Fine, fine, fine.

“Gotta look good. I’m on the hunt, obviously,” you joke. It isn’t funny to him, but he lets out a laugh.

“You’re hopeless.”

You two stop at a convenience store first, and you all but sprint to the drinks. He had this ritual down to a science. You grab two different color slushies, and he grabs whatever odd snack catches your collective stomachs eye today. Today the two of you decide to split a cookie, and walk to the counter. The cashier gives you a smirk, and he averts his eyes.

“This it?” The boy cocks his head, and you get the memo. You immediately jump on the opportunity.

“Mhm!” You wink, resting your chin in your hands while leaning against the counter. In all honestly, he wasn’t even that cute. At least, that’s what Rui kept telling himself.

“Don’t worry about it, than. I got you guys,” he waves you off. Score! You think, but he adds. “If I can get your number.” Rui feels like falling into the floor, how awkward! You just scribble it onto a stray receipt, winking.

“Thank you! You’re the sweetest!!” You singsong, skipping along with Rui following suite. You immediately burst into laughter, throwing a fake punch at Rui. “What a weirdo! Like I’d call him over what, 1000 yen?! I don’t even know him, yuck!”

So you did have some sense, he feels like letting out a sigh of relief. You hold your hands out.

“Which one do you want? I got your favorite!!” You look so proud, and he wants to laugh. His “favorite” isn’t actually his favorite, but he’d never tell you that.

The lie started one day in middle school, when the two of you suddenly had a weird craving for slushies. When you picked them out, you had gotten a red one and a blue one, and asked him what he wanted. While he really didn’t like red, he knew you liked blue, so he said red. Now for the past four years, you’ve always ended up getting him a red one, thinking it was his favorite. He’ll deal with it for you. Seeing your blue tongue stick out with brain freeze is better than any sugary drink anyway.

“Red, duh.” He scoffs playfully, taking a sip of it. The taste doesn’t really bother him all that much anymore. It reminds him of you.

You always let him divide the snacks, thinking he gives himself the bigger half. He never does, but he eats slower so you think he did. You skip along, enjoying it.

“Y’know, this isn’t bad. Wish they had the brownie, though. That never does us wrong.” God, don’t make him think of the ‘crack brownies’ - as you two call them. Those are great, and he likes them, so you never miss an opportunity to shove them down his throat.

“Don’t complain. Remember the egg roll incident?” He points, laughing at the memory. You two steer clear of that section now, having gotten sick.

“Ugh, I haven’t thought about that in a while! I’m never eating an egg roll again after that day! Ugh,” you gag.

Moments of silly memories like this make him feel like he’s known you forever. He can’t even remember a moment where he hasn’t loved you.

“Where’re we going now, commander?” He salutes, following the trail of sunshine you left behind.

“Where ever the wind blows us, kind sir!” You salute back, pushing him along. Your constant checks of your phone don’t go unnoticed by him, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Who’re you texting? Don’t tell me it’s that guy.” He tries to sound casual, knocking his shoulder against yours playfully.

“‘M not a total idiot, I’ll have you know!” You huff, holding your phone to your chest. “It’s just somebody we went to school with a while back, ‘m seeing if I can pull the moves.”

“Do I know him?”

“Dunno, never saw you two talking, so maybe not. He was in my english class, remember, the only class we didn’t have together?”

“Ah.”

You two walk in silence, except for when he yanks you back from the collar so you don’t walk into oncoming traffic, which amuses you greatly. You two soon arrive at the small mall, and he tails you as you run with excitement. You two browse everything, constantly pointing out cute plushies, or interesting keychains.

“Rui, look! Look!” You shake him, pointing to the back of somebody’s head inconspicuously. “Wait don’t yet- Okay, now! He’s turning around! That’s the guy! What a coincidence we see him here, right? Do you recognize him?”

Ha. Yeah, he knows this guy. He definitely knows him. He’s the one who would trip him during passing periods, he’s the one who left flowers on his desk. They make eye contact, and it’s like all of his growth left his body. He’s just the same freak from middle school, he’s still thirteen.

He shudders at the guys smirk, sensing that he definitely knows that Rui knows him. He jogs over to the two of you, and Rui already knows what’s about to happen, due to the lopsided smile on your face.

Damnit, this is the first time he doesn’t think he can act like it’s okay.

“Oh wow, what a coincidence! Must be fate we run into each other like this, ehe…” You giggle awkwardly, a dumb expression gracing your face. It’s painful seeing you that way for anybody other than him, and he looks away awkwardly.

“Must be.” He answers, swaggering closer towards you. Rui thanks whatever God above because - despite his current situation - at least this asshole didn’t go to highschool with you guys.

He looks down at his shoes, and tries to shuffle away, knowing this jackass is about to say something. He’s quickly stopped.

“Who’s this, huh? Feel like a recognize him from somewhere…” He trails off, smirking through his nose as he turns his attention to him. “Have we met before?”

“This is Kamishiro Rui, he’s my friend! He went to middle school with us, remember?” You happily answer for him.

Ha, friend? What happened to back-up boyfriend? He’s a little hurt, to be honest.

He feels bitter, it’s unbecoming- God, he doesn’t care. He should feel bad for getting so angry over it, it’s not like you belong to him. He’s such a freak, getting attached to you like this.

He starts to pick at his fingers, then he plays with a loose string on his sweater. You two continue to chat like nothings wrong, and he keeps thinking. It’s something he’s gotten good at recently.

He stops feeling bad about himself for a second- a split second where he resents you, and wishes his pain upon you. Wants you to know what it’s like to be so disgustingly, guiltily, revoltingly obsessed with someone. In this split second, he can’t even find it in himself to feel guilty about it, which is unlike him. He wishes you felt love like this, that you were as psychotic about it.

But this doesn’t last long, because he remembers that he loves you more than anything. He’s lucky to be your friend. You’re a great friend, you’re an amazing person, you’re the sun, the sun, the sun.

He’s the pavement, he has to remember.

“I’m- I’ll leave you to it, y’know? Fabric store.” He stutters, choking on his voice. You don’t even notice, waving him off.

You do, however, remember to press his shoulder, uttering an absentminded “Okay, Rui, bye,” and he remembers again how perfect you are for doing it subconsciously. He lets himself feel the touch, long after he’s walked away. He deserves it after the trouble he’s reliving.

When he makes it to the fabric store - which he really didn’t need anything from, Nene had gotten some the other day - he can’t help himself from wishing he could just go home. Malls were always overwhelming already, and now his saving grace has the attention of another man. He walks through aisles, but realizes that he now has to buy something.

‘Least he knows that social cue, he laughs bitterly, running his hands across his face in frustration. He’s so ridiculous.

Meanwhile, you were chatting up a storm. It was your first time talking in person since middle school, after all! You feel giddy for a while, but it cuts abruptly. You feel a strange sense of urgency, something’s missing.

Oh, your best friend.

But where had he gone? You’re sure he was just here. You smile apologetically at the cute boy, putting on your best performance.

“Oh, I better go get my friend now. I don’t like walking home when it’s late. Was nice seein’ you, let’s hang out soon, ‘kay?” You singsong, stepping closer. You want to give yourself a pat on the back, you’re so cute.

He rolls his eyes, and you’re hit with a wave of uneasiness. That noise he made sounds strangely dismissive, he’s not the kind of guy to be a jerk though, you must be hearing things-

“Leave ‘im. Between you and me, he was a total freak in middle school. Probably is now, too. Probably likes you or somethin’, total nutcase.” His voice sounds so casual, like it’s not the douchiest thing you’ve heard all day.

You let other men walk all over you, sure. You let them cheat on you, lie, whatever. But you’re not about to stand here and insult Rui. He’s the only untouched thing in your life - the only person who isn’t cruel. He’s so gangly and awkward, but in the best way. You could live a million times and not be able to deserve him, at least you think so. He’s so unusual, and that’s what you love most about him. Little things like not liking loud lights, or liking the red slushies the best, make your heart buzzy with familiarity. He’s the one constant in your life.

You’ve been awfully worried about him recently, though. His particularly (as you like to call it) has gone to the an extreme, and it’s been a battle getting him to eat real food. You’re not blind, you see the way he’s been spacing out, or tapping a little too much. You just thought he’d been overwhelmed. He worries you to death sometimes, but despite all of his own struggles, he always seems to not care about it, deciding to always be there for you instead. Ah, he’s just such an amazing guy - no, not guy, he’s not anything like those other boys you talk to. He’d never insult someone like that. He’s not just a guy, he’s like your person.

Yeah, he’s definitely your person.

Your heart sputters at the thought, and you feel something you’ve never really felt before - save for hugs between the two of you that lasted just a second too long, or words a little too romantic. The feeling makes your mind fuzzy, and your heart hurt terribly with something you could only place as homesickness.

Oh.

“I,” you begin, backing away. “Yeah, I’m sorry but I’ll really be going now-“

“What? C’mon I was just messing with you, even though having guy friend’s kinda weird.” He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah whatever, I’ll call you back,” you say dismissively.

You’re totally lying, you laugh, you’re not calling him back.

He didn’t seem to like that.

“Damn, can’t even joke around with you people. Whatever, weirdo, sorry I insulted your little boyfriend.” The change in tone amuses you.

Yeah, good riddance, pal.

You turn away, walking through the mall with pace. It takes a while, but you spot him watching a pet stores aquarium.

He’s a funny one.

You wave your hands, trying to get his attention. He swallows, knowing that it’s probably to ask him if it’s cool to walk home by himself. Emotions are stupid, and ironically, you both think that at the same time.

“Rui! Rui! Hey c’mon, let’s go home, yeah?” You smile, face feeling warm. It’s a different feeling from when you usually talk to him. He looks at you, a little shocked. He had assumed you were smiling wide because you set up a date, so he turns his head.

“Where is he, huh?” He looks away, back to the fish tank. You shift in place, was he mad at you? You’re a little irritated at the mention of the guy, though, and huff.

“Don’t worry about that. Seems like I only attract douchebags, so I decided to go.” You explain, poking his shoulder. “Hey,” you start, “let’s just walk home, I wanna talk to you about something.” The idea makes you feel dizzy, but you’ll have to illustrate your feelings one day.

You can leave out the “I think I’m in love with you” part, you think.

The two of you walk in an excruciating silence, staring down at the reflection of the setting sun in the puddles. His heart tightens, remembering his earlier comparison. Even now, you’re so perfect. Even if he’s frustrated with you - despite you turning down the guy in the end (he doesn’t know why, he wanted to ask) - even if he’s ready to scream, and cry, and ask you what it is he did for you to be so turned off by him, he still thinks you’re the most heavenly, divine person to ever grace his view. He wants to be where you see him, he wants to be in your orbit.

“You’re like the sun-“ He blurts out, immediately regretting it. He didn’t mean to say that, God, he’s so fucking stupid. He sees you stop walking, smiling that same stupid, dopey, lopsided smile that he’s always so jealous of-

Oh. It’s for him.

He chokes, stopping to meet you eye-to-eye. You look up at him too, laughing giddily.

“What does that mean?”

He sputters, stepping away. “N-no it’s nothing- It was stupid anyway so-“

“No, tell me!” You urge, laughing a little harder. “What if it was something bad, ‘nd you were making fun of me? That’s not nice, Rui!”

“I- Hey-“ His voice goes a touch higher, a defensive tone rising. “That’s not-“

“Then tell me.”

“It’s just,” he breaths, trying to word it in the least creepy way possible. How does convey the fact that he sees you as a divine presence, that he sees himself as a worthless creature compared to you, without sounding like he’s hopelessly possessed by love for you? “I just- you’re so amazing,” he starts, “I thought of this stupid thing the other day when I was walking home - you know how I am - and well, I just thought of you when the sun reflected off the pavement - since it rained, y’know? - and well, it just- Sorry, it was dumb-“ He rambles, covering his face in anguish.

Nobody’s ever put that much thought into you. Sure, you’ve received a few ‘You’re so gorgeous’’s, where you’ve had to wonder where they learnt such a “big word”, but never something as poetic as that. The usual Rui-ratic explanation endeared you to him even more. You look at him, the smile never leaving. He’s just… so Rui. His stupid striped sweater, his half up hair - that you’d begged him to grow out - his eyes, whatever. Everything about him you treasure, and little do you know he cherished you even that more intensely.

“I think you’re the moon, Rui. Or maybe the earth, since I take care of you, hah!” You snicker, stepping closer to him. He takes a step back in return, and you grab his hands to make him stay put. His heart throbs, and he almost goes crashing down.

“I.. I don’t-“

You yank his hands, making him look back up at you. “Hey, Rui, I,” you look at him assuringly, “I wanna say something, and you can’t laugh okay?”

He holds his breath, so do you.

Fuck it, just tell him.

“I think I’m in love with you, Rui.” You gaze at him, the words shooting out faster than you can second guess them.

“I don’t-“ He breaks away, his fists balling up. You messed up, you think, you really, really messed up. “I’m not- I’m not going to- You can’t just say that because you got rejected. I- It wouldn’t be nice to- You don’t love me-“

“Rui,” you beg, grabbing his arm again, “holding hands on the way to school, cuddling while doing homework, knowing everything about eachother, these aren’t-“ You breath, “I’ve wanted somebody to love me for so long, Rui, and I was so blind to the fact that I was loved. But the love that I felt for you, - that I feel for you - Rui, isn’t the kind where I can be- where I can just be so- so normal about those things!” You monologue, saying whatever’s on your mind. You’re the rambling one now.

“I found myself comparing you to these piece-of-garbage dude’s I’m always with, wishing I could just date somebody like you instead! But now I realize that it is you-“

His heart falls into his gut, and he breaks free from you again. His hands move to his face, covering his eyes. His voice is broken and cracky as he begins to cry. “That was- you-“ He pulls you into a desperate embrace, arms holding you like you’ll disappear. “You shouldn’t, you’re wrong.” He sobs, “I’m- the way I love you is- You don’t understand, the way I feel isn’t normal I- My love is disgusting, and horrible, and depraved-“ He shakes, you rub his back. “You are so perfect compared to me, I’d never be able to- I love you so much, more than friends are supposed to, more than anyone’s supposed to at our age-“

“Rui, hey Rui please don’t cry.” You beg, smoothing out the ridges in his sweater. “I don’t- I don’t agree with that, and I can scream that at you, but I’m sure you won’t believe me. You’re not disgusting for feeling emotions different, Rui that’s what I love about you.”

“Stop- stop saying my name like that. It’s too hard to-“

“Rui, I love you. You don’t need to accept it, but I love you. More than being in love, more than being loved-“

“I love you, too,” his voice cracks, “that’s why I’m so scared. I don’t want to ruin a friendship that’s all I have, if this is just- I’m scared I’d lose you in any way, and I can’t live in a world where you don’t see me. I won’t. It’s sounds horrible but-“ He stops as you pull away from the hug, and wipes his face hastily. You put your pinky out, and his stomach drops again.

“C’mon, just like when we were kids. Pinky promise that no matter what, we’ll always see each other. That way you don’t need to worry anymore, y’know? I never break my kissy pinky promises, ever.”

Just like when you two were little.

He locks his with yours, just like you taught him all those years ago. He remembers your shared handshake for theater, he remembers your shared handshake for testing, and he remembers the song you two had to duet for choir - when you have forced him into it for a year. He holds everything of you so dear to his heart, you endear everything about him to you as well.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I see you.”

“I see you, too.”

You two kiss your hands, then bring them down, still interlinked. You stare at him, and he stares back at you. In a moment of profound sincerity, you lean forward, and kiss him. It’s slow and gentle, and you unlock your hands half way through to hold his face, which he mirrors. His heart settles for the first time. You see him. He’s your moon, your earth, you’re his sun, his stars.

He’s suddenly alarmed by a quick pushing off of him, gasping out a “Rui!”

“I-“ he pants, wiping his mouth. “Hm?”

“we’re in the middle of a park!”

191 notes · View notes

loganslowdown4 · 1 month ago

Text

Roman: I made you all playlists!

Roman: Virgil, yours has emo punk and is very dark…like your soul!

Virgil: Thank… you?

Roman: Logan, yours is all songs about math and science with some voice memos of ME reciting the periodic table, it was very boring, you’re welcome—

Logan: Who is… Tom Lehrer?

Roman: Patton, I put in some fun pop and a lot of songs from a band called LMFAO? I haven’t heard their songs but they sounded fun-

Patton: Yay!

Thomas: Wait-

Roman: Remus, I mostly added slime asmrs—

Remus: Ooh sleep music!

Roman: And Janus, I just put the entire ABBA Gold album—

*everyone looks at Janus*

Janus: I- That’s- so… lame? Yeah, nice work Roman, I’ll TOTALLY… uh, listen to that- wait- I mean I won’t! Totally won’t listen- yeah 👀

#translation: is is very excited and will listen #the snake loves abba #but he’s allergic to having everyone think he’s not cool #fun fact: he’s already uncool #but not because he love a 70s disco group #roman sanders #logan sanders #incorrect sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #Janus sanders #dlampr

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dinsbeskar · 1 month ago

Text

[Never] Sleep Alone (Sauron/F!Reader)

Sauron’s obsession with you knows no bounds. He claims you, body and soul, in your waking and dreaming, so now it seems only right he takes what is his.

Can be read solo, can be read alongside my In The Dark series // AO3 Link

Soundtrack: Sleep Alone by Bat For Lashes, Closer by Nine Inch Nails (that song is so Sauron coded!!), Oral Hex by Bludnymph (I've listened to nothing but horny EDM for a week)

Warnings: 18+ only!!! Smut!! Consensual Non Consent (CNC). S*mmo k!nk: he fucks you while you're asleep, but there is consent in place. Toxic relationship tbh, they're a little codependent/obsessed with one another. But also v soft, toothache soft. P in V sex, oral sex (female receiving), male masturbation, cockwarming, bodily fluids, creampie, maybe a lil breeding kink if you squint, praise kink, a little emotional manipulation (it's Sauron so??)

A/N: idek guys. I'm a sleepy girl, and I've been listening to s*mmo audio, this kinda just happened. But it does seem like a natural escalation, considering I've written Sauron as stalking you, and claiming you in your dreams. So tbh this isn't that far of a stretch. However I will not be offended if you guys nope out, totally fine!!! But I will not do the whole kinkshaming thing, sorry we're not here for it. Don't like, don't read! :) okay enjoy!

thesaurus.com my beloved, how many different words can we find for sleep lmfao

Word Count: 3k!

He loves watching you sleep.

And sometimes he follows you there, into your dreams.

But sometimes he just lies awake beside you, gazing at your sleeping form, prone and vulnerable, his alone to protect and worship.

When you wake, you usually feel the weight of his gaze on you, the warmth of his body pressed against you, but lately Sauron has taken to rising before you, depriving you of morning cuddles, which frankly will not do.

"Where did you go?" You ask him softly, as he climbs back into bed after much pleading on your part.

"What do you mean, love?" He replies, brow furrowed, as he kisses your shoulder, rubbing your back in slow circles.

"In the mornings, when you abandon me to a cold bed, where do you go? What could possibly be more important than your wife's comfort?" You turn over to face him, meeting his gaze.

"Does it matter, my love? I always come back if you call." He tries to handwave your question away, but his evasion only makes you more curious.

"No, really, I need to know, what are you doing that cannot wait until I rise?"

He huffs an exasperated sigh, still running his hands over your bare skin, trying to avoid your gaze.

"Please. While you're here, I want you all to myself, I don't want you leaving me without forewarning me." You hate how needy he makes you, how desperate for his presence you are.

He regards you for a moment with that intense stare that makes your toes curl, and you feel him on the edges of your mind, feeling you out for whatever he has to tell you.

"You can tell me, after all this time, there are no secrets between us." You are starting to get concerned now, what could it possibly be?

"I love you. So much, unbearably so sometimes. My affection for you knows no bounds, and if it were possible..." he trails off, studying you for your reaction, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows nervously.

You can't help but beam, your smile spreading wide and lighting up your whole face. You know how he feels about you, because you feel exactly the same way. Emboldened by your radiance, he continues.

"If it were possible, my lust for you is so many times greater." There is a glint in his eye now that thrills you to your core, as you realise that perhaps it would have been less dangerous to leave it well alone.

"And when you're asleep, my love, wandering your dreams without me at your side, I cannot help but want to be close to you." He draws closer to you, every firm plane of his body pressed against you, fingers softly tracing your curves as you shiver under his gentle touch.

"I cannot resist you. I have tried, but you defeat me every time." You raise your eyebrows at his words, still a little confused, but your cheeks grow hot at his flattery all the same.

"You are so close to me, so vulnerable to my gaze, to my touch," he punctuates every pause with a kiss to your neck, forcing your eyes to flutter shut, listening to his confession.

"And if I wanted to have my way with you, to ravish you while you sleep, I could do so." Your eyes fly open, meeting his pitch black gaze, as goosebumps arise at the nape of your neck, heat pooling in your abdomen.

"But I resist." His heartbeat matches yours, racing in tandem as he edges closer to revealing his nightly activities.

"I take myself in hand, and imagine it's you instead."

Your heart pounds as you slowly realise what he might be asking for, your thighs rubbing together in anticipation.

"Your hand, your mouth, your hot wet cunt. But nothing compares to you, my love, imagination can only take me so far." His eyes are dark, pupils blown, as he grinds his cock against your ass.

"It is to thoughts of you that I fuck my own hand, yearning for your touch, unable to wait until morning when you rejoin me in waking."

"And that is where you go? Why do you not wake me, love, if you suffer so?" Your heart aches at the thought of your husband so deeply bereft, even with you by his side.

"Not always." He kisses your neck softly, stroking your side.

"Sometimes I lay next to you, breathing you in, inches from the very flesh I need to claim, spending my seed anywhere but inside you," he murmurs, his hot breath tickling your ear, "where you deserve it."

Your breath hitches and the throbbing in your clit will no longer be ignored. You reach down to take the edge off, but he takes your hand and presses it to his lips with a tsk.

"If I cannot have you when I wish, you certainly cannot, my love."

You whine and squirm against him, but he holds you fast.

"So when you wake, I am simply making myself presentable to you, my darling, that is where I am when you're searching for me, still walking the line between dreams and reality."

The idea of your husband satisfying himself as you lie beside him, blissfully unaware, has you rocking against him softly, the familiar coiling sensation beginning in your abdomen as his words ignite your insatiable desire for him.

"It can be so... pitifully lonely, watching you slumber, my love, but I never wanted to burden you." He smirks against your neck, his hands beginning to roam across your body.

"It would never be a burden, you are my husband, I want to please you, as much as you please me." He works so hard for your pleasure, that it would be remiss of you not to reciprocate.

"You need your rest, beloved, you cannot not entertain me all hours of the night." He chuckles softly, probing your mind for the seed he has planted, nourishing it to fruition.

You ponder for a while, the blood rushing to your cheeks as you come upon a solution that sends bolts of arousal to your core.

"Perhaps... no, it is foolish, forget I said anything." You murmur, worried that he will think you depraved.

"What, my love? Come now, are we not one and the same soul? You can share anything with me." With you still facing away from him, he does not have to fix the expression on his face, a wicked mixture of glee and anticipation as his idea comes tumbling from your lips.

"Perhaps, you need not wake me. Perhaps, you do as you will. If I wake, then so be it, but I would not have you suffer unnecessarily, my love." You're sure your face is glowing, how red and hot it feels; you're glad you're facing away from him so he cannot see it.

His long pause has you rattled, and you're about to lose your nerve and tell him it was just a foolish notion, when-

"You would have me... defile you, while you sleep?"

You can hear his concern, his bewilderment, but you cannot see the glint in his eye, the dangerous delight that paints his handsome features.

"If it disgusts you, love, please think no more of it, forget I said a word." Shame begins to course through you, nausea building even as arousal pools in the pit of your stomach.

He pulls you close, nose in your hair, and breathes in deeply.

"I could never feel anything other than utter devotion to you, my sweet wife. You think only of me, and offer yourself freely. How could I feel anything but adoration?"

Your heart swells, reaching out for his, his love smothering you like a blanket, encompassing you in his warmth and devotion.

"We would need some kind of... signal. To let me know what you want when you cannot tell me yourself." He might want you wholly, body and soul, but he wants you to be a willing participant, even when dreaming.

You nod, musing on what could be the most obvious sign that you were happy to have him claim you while you slept.

"Perhaps, underwear on, I attend to my own affairs." He murmurs in your ear, pulling you ever closer. "However, underwear off, I can ravish you as I please?"

It's a question, technically, but he knows you will agree.

"That does seem simple enough, and one could not mistake any intentions with such a... deliberate sign." With his arms still wrapped around you, you are beginning to fall asleep, but you turn around as much as you're able, craning your neck to kiss him softly.

"I love you." He whispers into your kiss.

"I know." You smile, rubbing the tip of his nose with yours. "I love you too."

You roll over and allow him to cuddle you, pulling his arm over your body tighter, holding his hand until you fall asleep. He regards you all the while, eyes fond, cock hard.

He traces his hands over your sides, gently, so softly, so as not to disturb you. You need your rest after all.

He peels back the sheets delicately, and you fidget a little; he holds his breath, staying still for a moment, but you remain sound asleep. Thank the Valar you're a deep sleeper.

He breathes a sigh of relief, before pressing on with exactly what he wants to do to you.

The night is warm, so you're covered only by a gauzy nightgown, the fabric of which is so thin, he can already tell you've forgone underwear.

This is the answer he needed to the question he can't ask you while you slumber.

You had agreed that wearing nothing under your slip was the sign he was free to do as he wished with you.

He trails his fingers up your thighs to find your cunt is already wet and waiting for him. You must have come to bed thinking of him; the thought frankly makes him weak, makes him want to wake you and ravage you until the sun rises.

But he won't ruin the fantasy on the very first night, at least not intentionally.

He spreads your thighs, being careful not to jostle you too much, wanting to satisfy everything you spoke about, for you and for himself.

He's always loved the taste of you, and while he loves bringing you pleasure, the simple truth is he can't get enough of you, and would spend days between your thighs if you let him, for purely selfish reasons.

He noses your clit, drinking in your scent, flattening his tongue and devouring you whole. He delves into your folds, sucking at your clit, looking up occasionally to see if he has disturbed you. Thankfully you remain asleep, though for a moment he would appreciate your trembling thighs wrapped around his neck.

He wonders if he can bring you to orgasm while asleep; perhaps a goal for next time.

But he is achingly hard for you, having resisted touching himself as he savoured your cunt. He strokes his cock once, twice, then lines himself up with your entrance, still watching and waiting for you to wake, sure that you will.

Sauron is sure he has never been more aroused than this very moment, admiring the view of his sweet, trusting wife, so vulnerable beneath him, allowing him to do exactly as he wishes while she gets her valuable rest.

His fingers slip inside you so easily, it's as if he belongs there, and he quickly replaces them with his aching cock, the head running over your folds before slipping inside your tight wet heat.

He groans, perhaps a little too loud, but he cannot bring himself to care while he is buried to the hilt inside you. He grasps your hips and adjusts you slightly, sliding right in, his balls slapping at your skin. He tries, he really does try to keep quiet, but you move in your sleep, trying to roll over, and he moans, long and loud, from the added sensation of you tightening around him.

"I'm sorry, darling, did I wake you?" He whispers after pausing a moment, half hoping you won't respond.

You grumble a little, pressing your hips harder into his, but you seem to fall back to sleep while his hips have stilled.

He resumes rolling his hips, hesitant to fully plunge his cock into the depths of your cunt, rocking in and out of you as you clench around him.

He has to be so quiet, he doesn't want to disturb you, but he needs this, needs to fuck you senseless even while you're not awake, the depths of his lust for you seemingly endless.

The fact you were unperturbed by his confession only made him love you more, that his depravity was shared in the other half of his soul. And the way you offered yourself to him so freely; his heart always sang for yours, but at that moment, your song was all he could hear.

When he is fairly sure that you're peacefully asleep, he ruts into you once again, his cock painfully hard as he draws out his own pleasure to save your slumber.

You clench around him, your body used to his ministrations, responding to his touch almost as if you were awake.

The only noises that can be heard in your chambers are his own deep breathing and the soft, wet sounds of flesh on flesh as he pounds into you, reassured by your continued repose.

He feels his orgasm draw closer, heat in his belly that threatens to engulf him whole. He throws back his head and gasps, his balls drawing up, readying for his release, as he kneads your pliant flesh, relishing in your curves. He reaches up under your slip, cupping your breasts in his large hands, thumbs circling your nipples. At this point, he no longer cares if you wake, thrusting erratically inside you, leaning down to lick and nuzzle your neck, to breathe in your sweet scent.

Your throat bared, he has the urge to sink his teeth into your soft flesh, to wake you with the unearthly pleasure that his torture would provide. That urge pushes him over the edge, spurting inside you, his thighs shaking in the effort not to collapse on top of you.

It is your tiny whimpers that bring him back to the present. He props himself up on one hand to find your eyes wide open, a sleepy smile gracing your face.

He smirks, drawing you in for a languid kiss, before he resumes lazily rutting into you, cock still hard and weeping, still ravenous for any sliver of pleasure you will grant him.

You let out a moan as he hits the sweet spot inside you, your toes curling with pleasure. He cannot help but regard you fondly, your eyes screwed shut, as you try to keep up the ruse for him even now.

He leans down to kiss the tip of your nose, before drawing back to ravage your cunt the way he knows you like best, circling your clit with his fingers.

Angling his hips the way he knows will torture you best and playing your clit like the master musician he is, he brings you to the edge of orgasm before halting altogether. You whine and squirm and pull his hips into you, but he nips your ear in warning.

"Not yet, love, together." He urges you breathlessly.

In response, you clench your walls around him, drawing a guttural groan from deep within his chest.

"Please, love, please, come with me." You murmur, tracing the contours of his back, digging your fingernails into his smooth skin.

You can feel his peak approaching again, as his lips on yours become more desperate, his tongue delving into your mouth as if searching for the meaning of life in your body.

"That's it, sweet girl, come for me, come now." He groans; he fills you again, spending his seed exactly where you both want it as you clutch at his skin, the coil in your belly releasing in a blazing heat that renders you speechless.

"Good girl, you deserve it, don't you? My sweet wife, not a drop wasted," he smirks, claiming your lips again, swallowing your desperate moans.

He languidly rolls his hips against yours, guiding you through your orgasm as your thoughts continue to evade you, nothing in your head but the feeling of your husband inside you.

You both finally fall back against the pillows, sated for now. He moves to pull out of you but you hold him fast, slinging a leg over his and refusing to let his cock leave you empty. He chuckles and pulls you close, your head on his chest, his iron embrace so comforting after the exertion of the evening.

"How long were you awake?" He asks with an affectionate smile.

"How long did you know I was awake?" You respond with a playful smile, sleepily tracing his jaw.

He hums, conceding the point.

"We can always try again," you murmur, sleep coming to claim you swiftly.

"I'm sure we will." His heart is so full that it feels tender, as if one more soft word from you would shatter it to oblivion.

"Love you, more than anything," you whisper, as if on cue, as he can do nothing but hold you and feel his black heart ache for his impossible love of you, kissing you softly before nestling his face in your neck.

#sauron x reader #halbrand x reader #annatar x reader #the rings of power #my fic #please read the tags!!!#any and all feedback is appreciated!! 💜💜💜

141 notes · View notes

landitolover · 1 year ago

Text

in which a popstar breaks up with her longterm boyfriend, and an f1 driver shoots his shoot. ౨ৎ logan x popstar!reader

Liked by taylorswift, gracieabrams, landonorris, and 1,282,690 others

yourusername hot girl summer 💆🏼‍♀️ no more men!

july 16th, 2023

View all 3,261 comments

user SHUT UP I LOVE HER

user she’s an icon, she’s a legend and she IS the moment ✨

user i love you y/n l/n

user ima shoot my shot like i’m devin booker, can i bag u ??

user baefy come to brazil 🇧🇷

user the caption.. i guess they did break up 😞

→ user good bruh

user mother is glowing!!

user LANDO?? HELLO???

→ user bro heard she broke up with her bf and is tryna shoot his shot now 😭😭😭

→ user LMFAO

→ user norizz headahh

whitneypeak gorgeous

whitneypeak i want a kiss

→ yourusername c’mere baby 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽

gracieabrams 😍😍

→ yourusername ily

taylorswift 💖

→ yourusername mom 🥹🫶🏼

→ user TAYYY

→ user taylor and yn are both going through breakups 😞✊

landonorris hi

→ yourusername who r u

→ landonorris bruh

→ yourusername jk ily bff

→ landonorris you’re my opposition 🖕🏼

→ user BFF???? SINCE WHEN GIRL

→ yourusername uhm idk we became friends when he was in mexico 🙈

→ user unexpected duo fr 😭

alex_albon my girlfriend loves you

→ yourusername tell her i love her more

→ lilymhe I’m giggling and kicking my feet

→ yourusername OH 😍 YOURE GORGEOUS

→ lilymhe SHUT UP?? U ARE 🤭

→ user my fav wag and my favorite popstar 😭

Liked by landonorris, taylorswift, whitneypeak, and 1,226,259 others

yourusername ‘emails i can’t send’ out august 5th 💌

august 2nd, 2023

View all 6,333 comments

user AHHHHHHH

user thank you yn omg 😭

user i’m SO excited shut up

user TE AMOOO

user pop princess!!

user MOTHER

user the break up album 🤔🤔

→ user please 🙏🏼

whitneypeak 🥹🫶🏽 so proud of you bby!!

→ yourusername i love you whit 😭😭

taylorswift so proud, lovely 💖

→ yourusername you’re my fav 🥹 ilysm tay <3

gracieabrams 🙈🙈💕💕

lilymhe I’M GONNA CRY!!!

→ yourusername LILY 🥲

lilymhe so excited to listen ml 😭💝

→ yourusername my gf!! ily 🥹💕

landonorris stream EMAILS I CANT SEND 🗣️‼️

→ yourusername luv u landie!

alex_albon lily will not be talking to me august 5th, got it!

→ yourusername 🧑‍🦲😛 soz!!

→ lilymhe you got that right, alex 🥳

Liked by taylorswift, gracieabrams, landonorris, lilymhe, and 1,603,142 others

yourusername oh my gosh 😭😭 it’s such an honor to be apart of the eras tour starting 24/08!! i cannot wait! thank you taylorswift, this is such a dream come true :,)

View all 15,992 comments

user amazing!! 🎉

user screaming crying throwing up

user i’m so happy for u queen

user cant wait to see u there 🥹

user mom & daughter

user if i DONT get tickets im gonna cry 😭

user YES YES YES

user my two favorite blondies 🫶🏼

whitneypeak MY GIRL!! IM SO PROUD

→ yourusername WHIT 😭😭 THANK YOU

taylorswift so happy to have you 😄💘

→ yourusername 🥹🥹💖💖

gracieabrams 👅👅👅😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️🩷🩷😚🩷💋🥲😚

→ yourusername 💋💋

lilymhe PRINCESS

→ yourusername 👸🏼<3

lilymhe I can’t believe I’m seeing you and taylor the same night 🙈🙈

→ yourusername 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻

→ user omg lily is going to the eras again 🥹

→ user bring alex!!

→ lilymhe i’ll try 🤫

→ user logan too.. let him shoot his shot 🙏🏼

landonorris wish i could go 😞😞😞

→ yourusername #FAKEFRIEND

→ landonorris do i get a song

→ yourusername 🌝

logansargeant added three new stories

alex_albon, lilymhe, yourusername, and 54,192 others viewed

yourusername replied to this story

oh hi there 🙈

lily told me that u were coming!

we should totallyyyyy hang out after it yk 😅😅

logansargeant

oh yeah totally haha

sorry i got nervous

a pretty lady slid into my dms

yourusername

got me blushing 🫣

okay anyways i have to go

concert stuff, am i right haha

logansargeant

totally

i’ll see you performing, pretty girl

yourusername

ahakfjkajfkakskvkc£~’c;&;@/&:@‘!??!!?!?? 🤭🤭🫣🫣😅😅😂😂😵‍💫😵‍💫

message not sent

Liked by taylorswift, lilymhe, logansargeant, alex_albon, and 2,878,787 others

yourusername eras tour.. mex N1 WOW 💌

mexico city i love u, and can’t wait for night 2 & 3!!

august 24th, 2023

View all 6,752 comments

user literal angel 🫶🏼🫶🏼

user UNREAL

user logan hunter sargeant what are you doing here

user so glad i was there 🥹

user mother is MOTHERING

user who else cried 😭😭😭

user watched from a glitchy live stream 😞

lilymhe WOW

lilymhe YOU WERE AMAZING 🩷🩷

→ yourusername 😭😭💖💖 I LOVE YOU!!

logansargeant glad you were the opener to my first concert!

→ yourusername i was the opener to ur first concert?? 😅😅 i hope i lived up to your expectations

→ logansargeant you definitely did :)

→ alex_albon LOGAN THE RIZZLER 🔥🔥

→ user lil bro got that bald eagle rizz

→ user AAAAHAUAHAHAAHA

→ user yn come perform in vegas for f1

alex_albon logan was mesmerized the whole time

→ yourusername 🤭🤭

→ logansargeant don’t expose me 😔

→ user WINGMAN ALEX!!!!

yourusername added one new story

viewed by logansargeant, lilymhe, and 822,202 others

logansargeant replied to your story

oh hey

i think that’s me

yourusername

oh really?

logansargeant

yeah 🥸

yourusername

i heard you mention me in the interview

i giggled

logansargeant

can i get your number

yourusername

oh uhm

hahahahaah

yes 😵‍💫😵‍💫

it’s xxx-xxx-xxx 💌

Liked by logansargeant, willamsracing, lilymhe, and 1,293,100 others

yourusername love u texas 🤠!!

thanks for inviting me f1 to this amaazing race 😚

october 22, 2023

View all 1,100 comments

user yk who else was in a cowboy? logan.

→ logansargeant 🤠 🤠

→ alex_albon lil bro gettin confident 😳

→ yourusername 🫠🫠

user i have no clue abt this sport but the drivers 🫣

user yn at an f1 race is not what i expected in my feed today

user im actually a cowboy hahahaha

lilymhe you made the race 100x more fun xx

→ yourusername ily 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻

alex_albon logan is giggling over this post.. he wants u so extremely bad its actually HORRENDOUS

→ yourusername i want him too 😵‍💫😵‍💫

→ logansargeant are we abt to kiss rn

→ user OH!!

→ user 😧��

logansargeant my lucky charm, i got points bc of u 😊

→ yourusername yeah I should get a kiss yk… hah 🤣

→ logansargeant 🫡🫡🫡

Liked by yourusername, lilymhe, alex_albon, taylorswift and 452,202 others

logansargeant ocean blue eyes, lookin’ in mine 🤍

tagged yourusername

november 4th, 2023

View all 1,392 comments

user OH. MY. GOD.

user ur joking

user i threw up (i want this so bad)

user HELLO?????????? WHAT DID I WAKE UP TO

user the gorgeous caption ….. DHMU

user pls im in tears

user God i see what u do for others.

user who else screamed

lilymhe TAYLOR LIKED UR POST WHAT

→ logansargeant 😁😁😁 the advantages of dating my popstar

→ user “MY popstar” get out

→ user they’re dating omgogmgomggomg

yourusername u have pretty eyes baby

→ logansargeant yours are prettier

→ alex_albon he’s playing it cool, but don’t let him fool you….. you got this grown man giggling his ass off

lilymhe you’re welcome btw…

→ alex_albon ur welcome? IM THE ONE WHO MADE THIS POSSIBLE!!!!!! I INTRODUCED U TO YN, AND YOU INTRODUCED LOGAN TO HER!! IM THE REAL MASTERMIND

→ logansargeant calm down lil bro, it aint that serious 😭😭

→ yourusername LMFAO

Liked by lilymhe, logansargeant, taylorswift, alex_albon, and 3,318,102 others

yourusername he finally got out of my dms and now we’re going on beach dates and f’ing 😋

tagged logansargeant

november 10th, 2023

View all 3,102 comments

user shes breaking the internet again

user the caption is CRAZY???

→ user right 😭 this girl is out of pocket

user the first picture is insane oh my god

→ user im having a panic attack over it I’m actually 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

user i’m foaming from the mouth

landonorris there are children on this app, ma’am.

→ yourusername 🥸🥸 you’re the child

→ landonorris ok..

logansargeant i love you so much, pretty girl 🤍

→ yourusername 😭😭😵‍💫😵‍💫🫠🫠😳😳🥴🥴🫣🫣

→ yourusername i love you 🩷🩷🩷

lilymhe i lost my gf

→ yourusername don’t worry baby he’s just a side 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻

Liked by yourusername, lilymhe, alex_albon, gracieabrams, and 89,191 others

logansargeant my amazing girlfriend wanted me to tell you all that… “slut!” is now out on all streaming platforms!!

tagged yourusername

View all 1,293 comments

user i just listened to it. UNREAL

user 😭😭😭😭😞😞😞😞

user and if they call me slut!

→ user you know it might be worth it for once 😭😭😭

user shes so down bad.

user me bc we got the best single bc of logan 😭😭😭😭!!!! thank you 🙏🏼

→ user I’m actually hip hip and hooraying

yourusername my muse 🤍

→ logansargeant i love you so bad

lilymhe STOP U TWO ARE SO DISGUSTINGLY CUTE

→ alex_albon how come you haven’t written a song for me…..

→ lilymhe idk u lil bro…

→ yourusername is this man bothering u sweetheart??

→ lilymhe yes 😞😞 beat him up!!

→ alex_albon what is she gonna do? bite my arm? she can’t even look me in the eye 🤔

→ user LMFAOO

Liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, taylorswift, alex_albon and 1,201,101 others

yourusername in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman 🩷

tagged logansargeant

view all 2,202 comments

user I CRIED WHO ELSE DID

user shut up i’m so happy for her

user logan is my dream bf fr.. where’d u buy him

→ yourusername off the tiktok shop 😋

user WAAAAAHH

user yk what this means? YN WAG ERA

taylorswift in your LOVER era 😆🤭💖

→ yourusername 😭😭💖💖

taylorswift so happy for you my love!!

→ yourusername i love u my queen 🩷

logansargeant can u hear it in the silence?

→ yourusername U ARE IN LOVE 😭😭😭😭 STOP IT RN LOGAN HUNTER SARGEANT

→ alex_albon oh so all of a sudden he knows everything about taylor swift

→ logansargeant wdym me and taylor are like this 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

lilymhe i’m so glad we can go on double dates now 😈

→ yourusername me too xx

gracieabrams we 🩷 a happy queen 😁😁

→ yourusername agreed 😊😊

whitneypeak fav couple

→ yourusername ur always my #1 🤍

landonorris RAAAAAHHHHH 🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥

→ yourusername 🦅🦅🦅🦅

→ logansargeant 🦅🦅🦅🦅

→ alex_albon 🦅🦅🦅🦅

→ taylorswift 🦅🦅🦅🦅

→ gracieabrams 🦅🦅🦅🦅

→ moneygramhaas 🦅🦅🦅🦅

→ maxverstappen1 🦅🦅🦅🦅

→ lilymhe 🦅🦅🦅🦅

౨ৎ first fic on my new blog!! let’s goo 😵‍💫

i hope u enjoy it! i’ll try being more

active on this acc… ౨ৎ

@moneygramhaas ♡︎

#𓇼 landitolover #꩜ my writings #f1 #logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant x you #f1 fanfic #formula one #logan sargeant #f1 x reader #f1 fic #sabrina carpenter #williams racing #lando norris #taylor swift #alex albon #lily muni he #f1 imagine

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thighzp · 6 days ago

Text

2024 Year In Review

Thank you to @0npurpose and everyone else who has tagged me in many variations of the 2024 year in review! Here's a wrap up of all my writing this year!

My details

My AO3: fullerthanskippy My fandom: Red, White & Royal Blue Total number of completed works for 2024: 52 Total word count for 2024: 107,590 (holy shit) Total hits for 2024: 151,546 Total kudos for 2024: 9,942 (AGAIN I beg you all to leave kudos!)

Oneshots

most popular by kudos: working overtime | 624 kudos

most popular by comments: young & hung | 24 comment threads least popular by kudos: tender | 52 kudos (only 240 words so I get it lol) least popular by comments: shower drain | 0 comments (there really isn't much to say, again, I get it! lol)

longest oneshot: running from the daylight | 11,372 words oneshot I'm most proud of: Artie | for obvious reasons most fun oneshot to write: better bite the bullet (baby take one for the team) | I had sooooo much fun writing the gun kink and I still want to revisit it in the future hardest oneshot to write: broke down or stranger things have happened | these are two I specifically remember during kinktober having to force myself to get the words out (that happens sometimes!) favourite title used: tough choice but if I have to choose one I'll go with | the mess that is Alex

Bonus …

Most unserious title: i'm having his baby (no i'm not but you should see your faces) | also longest title ever lmao

Multi-Chapters

my first multichap will be coming to you live in 2025 ;)

Questions

Events or challenges | Kinktober & RWRB Festive Fan Fest

Did you write more or less fic than you expected this year? | way, WAY more!!!

Did you take any writing risks this year? | so many, let's see just for a few examples: wlw, fisting, puppy play, piss kink, somno, gun kink, omegaverse, I mean I could continue on and on

What was the most challenging fic to write this year? | hands down running from the daylight (vampire alex AU), I started teasing it before I even started writing it and then I felt pressured to hurry up and get it out. not by any of y'all, but by myself. it's 11k words and I'm proud of it, but it shaped me into a much better writer for the multichap I'm currently working on!

What was your favourite fic to write? | probably wearing nothing but glitter and lashes because it was inspired by a huuuuge irl crush of mine and a very loosely based real life experience lol

Biggest success | kinktober IN GENERAL

Most surprising success | young & hung!!! I mean I loved writing it but I couldn't believe people were eating it upppppp

Biggest disappointment | I mean... (the things i do) when i picture you but it's not a surprise at all lol it's junora and if it's not firstprince, it just doesn't hit the same. also not surprised that two things can be true (taynick rpf) didn't do crazy numbers, people are touchy about it

Most surprising disappointment | none are really that surprising cause I usually know when it's not gonna hit for everyone, but I guess I'll say I expected know your audience to do better! I think people didn't like the twist or didn't believe it from the start?

What's something you learned about yourself as a writer? | I learned that PWP IS NOT MY STRONGSUIT!!! I need the buildup and that's where my rambling tends to happen lmfao

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing? | obviously vampire alex au I'm feeling like a broken record, and I'll also add finishing kinktober is like... still so insane to me!

Fic that gave you the most trouble? | two that I just needed external inspo for because the words weren't wording were riding practice and mile high (these ideas were greatly helped by @judasofsuburbia lol thank you love)

Easiest fic to write? | suburban legends, one of my earlies fics and the words came easily in that little universe

Go to writing songs | I love having inspo playlists but I can't actually listen to music with words while writing, I'm too adhd/dyslexic for that

Go to writing snacks | usually coffee or red wine hehe

Any writing goals for next year? | only goal really is to finish and post my first multichap which is definitely going to happen!!! and otherwise I think just focusing on writing what I want to read/what inspires me and worry less about what will do numbers

Any fics in the work for next year? | of course! perhaps I'll give some insight into my current WIPs (even some y'all don't know about yet?)

age gap AU (multichap) neighbors/laundry AU young & hung sequel trans alex PWP a fic involving alex/martha as propositioned by henry/pip.... kink related age regression henry wetfic (and I bet y'all fuckin wish you knew what this one was about mwuahahaha)

***

it's been a crazy year. I want to thank @redlipstickandglitter and @firstprincehornyramblings for being my fucking MUSES, my EVERYTHING both when it comes to help/ideas with writing, as well as just wonderful fucking friends.

y'all have provided me so many spoons this year, and believe me, lately they've been mighty hard to come by! here's to even more words written in 2025! (but probably not... I'll probably never do kinktober again lmfao)

open tag for any writer friends who haven't done this yet! I'm serious - don't wait to be tagged, just tag me!!

#mine #personal #fics #alex claremont diaz #firstprince #rwrb #alex and henry #alex x henry #red white and royal blue #rwrb fic #henry fox #first prince #henry fox mountchristen windsor

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kcalsforhim · 21 days ago

Text

˖⋆࿐໋ sunday 15th of december

⋆˙⟡

as i mentioned yesterday, i broke my fast at nighttime which was pathetic, i didn’t take a photo but it was maybe at 1 am or something like this, this is what i ate

2 white kinder bueno pieces, a very small bowl of vanilla pudding, 2 lotus cookies, about 10 g of candy ;; as well as the tiniest bit of chicken and maybe 4 potato wedges

cals : 628

i was feeling kind of bad about it, but it’s ok… i had come up with the plan of not having anything the entire next day… and i was gonna try my best to stick to it !!! so i went to sleep

the next morning, so a couple hours later, i woke up feeling just tired and exhausted, but it wasn’t the end of the world or anything. my mom came in 3 times, i was pretending to sleep, but she came in 3 times and she’d just talk to me, even knowing i wouldn’t respond to her. at some point she talked to me and said “you should come downstairs soon, you look hungry” and kissed my forehead and an hour later she brought up food for me to eat…

i didn’t want to eat it, no way in hell LMAO, so i stored it in my tumbler cup ??? idk its still in there btw LOL i need to throw it out….. im really sad because i actually really really love that toast but i can always make it on my own another time with maybe 1-3 slices and feed the rest to my family. apparently that other thing on the plate is a courgette cake which i also like but ofc its in the cup lol……. i recorded that video for proof.. convincing empty plate ? sigh

later she sent me another text about an hour after about some soup, here is some translations… during dinner time she insisted i come down and i said i was too busy doing homework. the homework kept me really distracted and i wasn’t even hungry, i was working on some shitty site with haku on call snd i kept wanting to stream but my macbook wouldn’t let me sigh.. when she invited me out on a walk at 9 pm that’s when i felt the hunger kicking in like crazy.. the dizzyness. by then it would be 20~ hours

but i just went into bed after tbh… eli came back from work or college i can’t remember and we talked and called untill maybe 2-3 am where i promptly rolled over and went to sleep while her and her mom were trying to say something to me… LMAO OMG i literally remember her mom calling me son in law like 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖 GUYS LOOOOOOOK IM A SON IN LAW GUUUUUUYS

anyways that was it .. that was my day i just fasted all day i didn’t even eat my free chocolate none of that bs LOL… i did drink a lot of pepsi i needed to pee a lot but tbh that’s fine.. pepsi and just diet soda and diet energy drinks really help me with staying consistent on my omad streak i somehow when i really put my mind to being on omad i somehow always get it done LMFAO.. eli said she got 100$ for free yesterday and said she felt too guilty to keep it i told her use it on my christmas present 😭 hashtag greedy

cals nighttime : 628

cals daytime : 0

steps total : n.v.t but i did go on a nighttime walk for 45 mins !

while studying i listened to a lot of songs like this bcs one of my oc’s has a playlist just as such so i really enjoy this soft kind of music… i was barely there today 🤍 im barely there every day now that i think about it LOL

⋆˙⟡

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lowkeyrobin · 10 months ago

Note

mcyts with a music artist partner? more specifically a singer/drummer but whatever works best would be neat !!

ooooo I like all these musically inclined readers I'm getting [does the evil villain finger laugh] ; I tried to do 50/50 with both singer and drummer so djsnnsnss ; rlly couldn't think of any new ideas for more people so I'm sorry LMAO

MCYT ; singer/drummer reader

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu & quackity

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

constantly brags about you being in a band, even though you're the drummer and most drummers are very overlooked

he's your biggest fan, no one will be able to top him

he'll post clips and basically make a scenepack of you doing your thing during gigs to influence people editing you and give you some attention

your band already has a couple thousand fans on top of the monthly listeners and followers, and people were already starting to edit with your music/your performances

he'll constantly post pictures of you behind your drum setup, he thinks its so badass

you guys have that moment where he basically sits on your lap (/ns) and you hold his wrists to show him certain chords and shit

"what's the stuff around your fingers for?"

"prevents strain in my hands and protects jammed knuckles"

"ohhhhhh. keep doing that. it's healthy and badass"

RANBOO

totally infatuated with the fact you're a singer

"look at my famous partner guys, go show them some love please, their music is so good"

they will be at every single gig, recording you like it's a concert

plays your music on stream all the time

listens to your music religiously, whether it be traveling or cleaning the house

loves looking at fanart where you're like singing to him in the crowd and he obviously sticks out like a sore thumb

you guys karaoke your music on stream all the time

if you make heavier music/scream a lot in it, he goes silent for you to do all that LMFAO

will break out the GarageBand to make you beats so you can on site make up lyrics like a rapper BAHAHAH

FREDDIE BADLINU

finds it so cool you can play drums

sometimes he'll sit down with you while you're practicing and play guitar behind you while you can't hear

yk like the drumset charlie spring has? you got one of those now, that way you can play without making a ton of noise, especially while he's sleeping or streaming

loves putting stickers on your cymbals and your bass drum

loves taking pictures of you with finger tape on to just stare at later

constantly brags about you being in a band and always listens to your music

even uses your music in videos and stuff

in the desc he'll put a little "my partners band ____ is playing in the background, go check them out!"

thinks you're so badass for playing drums LMAO

he also tries to play them while you guide his hands

cutie patootie

NIKI NIHACHU

thinks you're so fucking cool

will always record you at gigs

and loves putting finger tape on for you

changes her insta bio to "claimed by a bitch who plays drums 🙏🙏" or something like that

you learn how to cover some of her favorite songs and she's literally so excited

your band make pins or lanyards or any sort of merch? it's all sold out now, she's bought it all

will play your music on stream and shout out the name and leave link to the merch store at any given chance

always reposting fanart she sees of you/you two together

especially if it's you on your drums playing for her

ALEX QUACKITY

you're the voice to his guitar because he's too shy to show off his true singing voice

(the I got a feeling that tonight we are getting 2 subs clip)

obsessed with your voice

also records you at gigs

if he's at the barrier you'll constantly wave to him or wink at him, etc etc

all to make him flustered 💪💪💪

will constantly plug your band and always wears your merch

hypes you up if you're having writers block with lyrics or are having one of those days where you feel like you don't sound good

if you're singing along to a song, he'll tune in only to your voice and not the song at all

simp

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit x reader #quackity x reader #ranboo x reader #badlinu x reader #gn reader #freddie badlinu x reader #niki nihachu x reader #nihachu x reader #alex quackity x reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader

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braxlrose · 1 year ago

Note

Can you write about Bill having a partner that’s essentially like Avril Lavigne? That could be cool

a/n: I envy avril lavigne sooo let's do this, I scrolled all the way down through my asks and I never saw this so sorry this is so late!

edit: LMFAO IM SORRY 😭

also a shout out to @millzieraa cuz ik you lost your old account which was @krav3nn, so go check her account out you guys!!

bill w/ a avril lavigne wannabe gf who's like avril lavigne

-he literally is obsessed with the way you dress. he thinks you look so cool and yall borrow eachother clothes all the time. im not joking, he actually thinks your style is the awesome and loves how close it is to his style

-he goes to skate parks with you and watches you do a bunch of tricks. like whenever you do one and do it really good he's smiling and clapping and all this shit. he also would love it if you taught him or tried to teach me how to do some tricks.

-if you do end up teaching him some stuff he totally shows it off on tokio hotel tv

-he also loves you a lot because you and tom get along really well. you and tom are a lot a like a tons of ways so he's happy that you're able to get along with his brother. he doesn't date girls who can't get along with tom.

-would literally dieeeee if you made a song about him. like he thinks your musik is amazing so he would love it if you made a song about him.

-he also writes songs about you. he can't help it. he's just so in love with you and thinks you're the coolest person ever. he loves you so much and will write multiple songs about you.

-one of the reasons he fell for you is because you weren't afraid to be yourself and didn't want others to hide who they were either. (let's pretend avrils music is music you actually make). like the song complicated, he loves how you just want people to be themselves and not change for anybody

-he also loves how fun and accepting you are. he likes people who are fun and spontaneous and you're just that

-totally does musik collabs with you and your band

-helps you dye your hair colors

-you and your band and tokio hotel go to parties together all the time. you and Bill both get equally drunk and just make out and dance together all night

-if there's a language barrier between you two, he'll figure out a way to communicate with you

-loves watching you play guitar and tom always gets kinda jealous if you play something better than him

-you two go shopping together at thrift stores allll the time to find new cool clothes

-is literally the best at giving you birthday presents since you and him have so much in common

-he gets your name tattooed on him

-he loves going to your concerts and watching you sing and play guitar. moving around stage and just listening to your amazing voice

-he also loves it when you come to his concerts, he gets so happy when he can see you in the crowd or if you're backstage and you give him a kiss for good luck before a concert

-thought it was the coolest thing when you wrote Sk8ter Boi (let's pretend it's about tom, and that the end of the song is changed bc obviously you don't end up w/ tom). but yeah he loved it and thought it was super awesome

-the band is really important to him and since you're in the musik business you're able to understand that the band is the most important thing to him and he really loves that about you. he had his last girlfriend break up with him because she said he didn't have enough time for him so he's really glad you're able to understand how much the band means to him and everything

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7 @billybabeskaulitz

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menlove · 5 months ago

Note

My fave beatles album is rubber soul too and tbh I never understood the hatred towards run for your life. It is a feminist™️ song? No, but it doesn't have to be and im sick of people pretending that it's the worst thing ever and treat john like a literal murderer bc of it

I get that. it's very much a typical Sexist Sixties Song. I think too it's important to take into account that a) it's based off lyrics nicked from elvis and b) john later cited it as his least favorite beatles song because it was something he "just knocked off"

I think people assume that he wrote it around his own feelings & life experience given his abusiveness, and further assume it was written about cyn. which, granted, they're easy assumptions to make. but it was more or less just a continuation of a shitty, sexist elvis song

it's Still a sexist song itself bc those sort of lyrics were just seen as Fine. that's not an excuse, btw, it's me condemning the rock scene of the 60s. but I do think the like full context of the song should be taken into account rather than pretending it's him singing to cynthia about his desire to murder her if she cheats. no, it's him being a Shitty Sexist 60s Man who sees no issue w writing or singing those lyrics, which he lifted off another song to build a story around. which isn't great! but it's a very different motivation than what's ascribed to it

I do think people are totally allowed to hate the song. I honestly don't like listening to it myself. but we should also be discussing The Context rather than assigning our own assumptions to it.

(as a sort of side note, it sort of reminds me of "these boots are made for walking" which was written by a man & nicked off a frank sinatra line but has the fortune of primarily being sang & covered by women 💀 so no one really cares that it was written by a man based off another man's line. maybe john should've just given the damn song away to a woman and left it alone lmfao)

#this is another post that's gonna be exactly like that post I rbed I fear #seen as a stan by the haters and a hater by the stans shehsjhc

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doroinoue · 8 months ago

Text

okay so i've been listening to the dorohedoro manga soundtrack for a while now, and my morning has been a little hectic so i decided to just ramble about all the songs and what/who i associate them with, and also which songs from the anime ost they remind me of (since the anime ost is very much inspired from the manga ost)

WARNING: DIABOLICAL LEVEL OF YAPPING BELLOW, PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!!

you can listen to the songs Here if you haven't, and i'll be going by this order, since thats the official one

Redacted, Recalcitrant, Repressed - khost: this one in my head is literally curse/risu theme and you cannot convince me otherwise Ever. Man Inside The Mouth from the anime ost is im pretty sure inspired from this song too so it All just makes sense. also the title itself reminds me of risu and the way he is and whatnot (im so shit at explaining good lird) also this is me just being insane but i think the voice of the guy singing KINDA fits risu more (the deeper more monstrous voice sounds like curse in my head too), like i love his actual voice too but when i read the manga i definitely dont imagine him with it i expected something more raspy(?), meanwhile aikawa being the one with the smoother voice (his raspy voice fits too giving that Kaiman and yadda yadda) Dont ever let me talk abt risu drhdr bro i dont stfu

Blaka Smoko - VOODOOM: i love this song so much but kai's stupid fucking face pops up in my head when i listen to it and i DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT!!! though yeah uh this is pretty much either his song or the cross eyes in general since the lyrics are "i sell black smoke"..though the deranged laugh really reminds me of him solely. imagine a version of the drhdr manga where black smoke is like weed and they smoke that shit and get high i Think thats rlly funny i dunno what else to say tbh i think me associating the song w kai is preventing me from having too many thoughts about it. However i hope when he like shows up fr (not just in flashbacks) the anime ost makes a remix of this song cuz it genuinely fits (also i just love how this song directly mentions nikaido and kaiman, although a bit nonsensical given the context)

Dorohedoro Zombie Slushi - Candie Hank: im so certain 1000手観音 and another song (i cant remember which one) from the anime ost sampled from this one lmfao. anyway this one just reminds me of zombie ebisu, or ebisu in general. not even like living dead day, literally just zombie ebisu. its probably the vocals tbh, someone in a youtube comment was complaining abt them and another person replied "just imagine ebisu singing it" and i cant get it out of my head now. i can totally see her sing this song, especially knowing shes canonically interested in the manga ost album (you can see her read the songs of it while checking it out in like episode 4? i think? the one where they follow doll risu around and end up in some cheap clothing store)

Eating food and fighting Wizards - Shitwife: this one makes me very nostalgic, i like how its one of the few songs that isnt just pure nonsensical chaos. like i love those too, infact im bummed out the anime ost doesnt have more chaotic songs given the manga is literally incomprehensible sometimes, but i like how this song kinda shows the more coherent and cheerful side of the story. of course this is just kaiman theme to me, i mean the title and all. i think kaiman would really like this song, he would def listen to it. it also reminds me of that scene where him and nikaido are driving in their motorcycles, it gives the vibe of a drive in the middle of the night to me anyway, not much to say for this one too, i just think its really nice (also the drums go crazy hard)

Enter the Hole - NAH: lovely magic predecessor LOL. perfect for me honestly cuz lovely magic is my fav song from the anime soundtrack. This one just reminds me of hole, i dunno. the brief ethereal part reminds me of the past of the hole though, before the lake of refuse was created (i forgot what they called that shit in the official translation forgive me..lake of refuse sounds cooler either way). thats all tbh

She is a devil - Hanali: devil nikaido theme song what can i say...i literally want this song beat for beat to play at the scene where nikaido grows her devil tail and gets devil high (if they even animate season 2 that far) either that or when theyre selling gyoza at the department store and she goes devil high again and starts beating ass. its so perfect for those scenes also i like to think the distorted singing at the very beginning is like what humans hear when a devil sings, i know it should be more ear bleeding giving the reaction everyone has in canon but whateva!!! also also i like to imagine nikaido was probably hearing something similar while her tail was growing and she was going crazy, i think maybe hearing the singing of devils in your head while slowly turning into one is a cool idea

LIZARD HEAD - Dr. Das: i cant lie this ones...a little boring for me. like the beat is cool and all, but i think this is the one song i have the least to say abt. to reference another youtube comment, they said smth abt imagining kaiman fucking around in hole to this song, and yeah. i see it. i think if the anime animates that little bonus(?) comic abt how kaiman spends his day in hole, they should use smth similar to this song

Transformations - Shackleton: ok i lied this is the one i have to say least about. i dont mind 10+ minute songs, but damn this ones even more boring to me. the pissing sounds arent helping either LOL. though i think if they had to play this song somewhere, or a variation of it, maybe it fits best at the part where kawajiri is making nikaido do the devil exam in his house or whatever...idk....

Dorohedoro - Igorrr: ALRIGHT BACK TO YAPPING. this song is so fucking good, dare i say its my favorite of the whole ost. and im not the only one, everyone seems to love this one. its literally just TIC TOC predecessor but even better. the classical music and opera singing inserted into this absolute chaos is insane and i cant think of a song that fits shin more honestly. like this is literally shin theme. it perfectly mixes his calm and rational self with the deranged outbursts he has. ive heard people say shin is a boring character and i genuinely cant wrap my head around it like HELLO...not only is his design just cool as fuck, but he has such interesting personality? my boy went through absolute hell and grew up from an aggressive and snarky kid to a calm and if i may say, empathetic guy. like he cares about the people around him, he was carrying three guys (one with his fucking mouth mind you) that passed out because of the rain flooding the underground basement. he refuses to kill people who are weak with magic, and generally doesnt really like going on killing sprees unless its a life or death situation (which since kid has made him go crazy, i like to think its probably cuz it increases his heartbeat and being a human+sorcerer maybe doubles the adrenaline this way). also the way he has inhumanely high pain tolerance, he can have his guts splattered on the ground and still manage to walk, to the point it even weirds EN out. like you gotta be some freak to get en concerned for you (or be kikurage lol). sorry this turned into a shin rant more than the song itself, i just cant believe so many people dont see how cool shin is. like hes not even my most favorite character but i will protect all the drhdr characters i like (which is most of them). anyway moving on

The Hole - Ghengis: alot of ppl say they think of hole (the place) when they listen to this song, but me personally?this song screams hole the entity, and artificial devil kai. like this song FEELS like its oozing with the sludge and that feeling every sorcerer that gets in contact with hole "magic" feels. i like to think the headaches they get is equivalent to the beat of the song LOLL. like just super loud and painful pulsing headache that can leave you paralyzed on the ground. anyway, i dont have that much to say, i just want this song to play at the central department store arc, OR. when artificial devil kai is first shown thas all

Don't Think, Just Kill - Roly Porter: i lied again this is the one i have least to say about. sorry. literally my only thoughts are that one of the songs playing during the living dead day episode is inspired by it but i frogor which one

Kaimans Head - Dead Fader: to compensate the fact i mightve lied once again im gonna ramble about something mildly related. so the one youtube upload i found of this song uses this one fucking risu fanart that legit makes me shit my pants. its honest to god the scariest freaking fanart ive seen of a character i like. its not like Shiver me timbers scary, its just so unsettling to me, like WHO COOKED THIS UP. WHO DREW THIS. i know hayashida would love it. she wishes she made risu this scary and not the catboy babygirl beautiful princess with a disorder she created (/J). anyway uh, this song goes pretty hard, i like it, i just dont have much to way besides that i like the beat maybe. also heres link to the youtube upload with the picture if u wanna know what im talkin abt

Radio 538 - Dow Jones Brotherhood: because the first time i listened to the songs was on youtube, i found this song pretty much last and uh. i dunno its cool! for some reason it reminds me of the cross eyes? ive no clue why it just does. it reminds me specifically of how all of them are basically just worshipping some guy half (if not most) of them havent even seen the face of. i like how the whole thing is basically just a cult. people built statues of the boss, tattooed his face on their hands so they never forget it, And the elites...oh those poor little guys. closest to the boss and got psychologically tortured with killing thousands of sorcerers daily and left to deal with the incomprehensible shit their boss does, while slowly building suspicion and disgust towards him, but unable to do anything because of how far theyve gone into this. like can you imagine how miserable dokuga and tetsujo must feel knowing their devotion to kai led to all their friends killed. id just die bro this is so fucked... anyway, kewl song👍 i love the cross eye elites

Stay down zombies! - Ed Cox: i honestly love how lowkey dramatic this one is. ALSO the accordion tune from el corazon is im pretty sure taken from this one! which makes two shin references yippee!!! i like how this one kinda mixes calm music with breakcore (do not erm akshually me on this one i dont care), just like how igorrr does. i dunno its just a cool song, though PERSONALLY i dont think it fits living dead day, it reminds me more of that scene where shin remembers his mothers death, and then slowly turns into a zombie. it gives off that vibe giving how the song progresses from dramatic and a bit somber, while the beat starts creeping in, accompanied by the accordion that i literally will never not associate w shin in general

ANYWAY WOW THATS ALL!!!! if even one person bothered to read all this, thank you. i love yapping about dorohedoro i love silly manga about a bunch of freaks and freak stuff and i am obsessed with hayashidas taste in music, knowing she picked all those artists cuz she likes their music makes absolute sense considering the kind of art she makes. i love you q hayashida im your biggest fan. also if you notice any grammatical errors pls remember english is not only my second language, but i also barely slept last night so that's my excuse

#dorohedoro #drhdr #ドロヘドロ #q hayashida #i dont know what to tag man #risu dorohedoro #shin dorohedoro #nikaido dorohedoro #ebisu dorohedoro #i alread forgot who else i mentioned #dorohedoro spoilers

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