#((sorry I couldn’t post right away; I was spending the New Years with my boyfriend and family-)) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anniemika · 9 months ago

Text

Lost and Found

Eren Jaeger x Female Reader

Chapter IV: One Step at a Time

Chapter summary: Searching for a path to your forgiveness, Eren yearns to bridge the gap his absence has left in your and your daughter’s lives, realizing how hard it’s going to be with every step of the way.

Words: 14.2k

Chapter 3

A/N: Yeaaah… it’s not like I’m 6 months late lol. I’m sorry for the long wait. I thought about splitting the chapter into two, but then again, you’ve waited for so long, might as well post the whole thing. I’m so very grateful to everyone who asked me about this story. It means a lot because believe me, it is hard to write such complex relationships, so having you have real interest in it means the world.🥹🫶🏻 hope you enjoy it!!

…..

Eren knew the path to your house by heart.

Even though you lived on the other side of town, he still remembered how he would walk you home everyday, and then walk all the way back to his house. It was your “thing”. He never let you go home by yourself.

But now, as he drove his black BMW, that looked absurd as opposed to the quaint streets of your simple town, he realized he never felt this nervous going to your house before. Even when you were teenagers and he’d spend the entire way thinking of a way to kiss you, it didn’t come even close to how anxious he felt at the moment. Because back then, he had nothing to lose. Now, with everything he held dear hanging in the balance, the weight of his fears bore down on him.

He parked his car beside the fence of your house, that looked exactly the same as it did the first time he walked you home. Light blue, with a little marking at the entrance that was his doing. He remembered how he’d taken a red marker and written yours and his initials on it. It wasn’t big enough for your mom to see, but both of you knew it was there. As he stepped outside, his eyes became glued to it. He wondered if Lily ever noticed and perhaps asked you about it.

He looked at the porch, the one he used to kiss you on, and it transported him right back when you were 16. When seeing you walk out the door and towards his arms was the most important thing in the world. He felt like an idiot for ever thinking there was anything else that could come close to that feeling.

His legs carried him to the front door, the familiar creak of the porch serving as a reminder of all the times he’d stood on this threshold, waiting for you. His heart pounded inside his chest as he lifted his hand to knock on your door. The little person that appeared in front of him was not the one he expected to open it.

Lily peered up at him, her eyes curious as she hid half of her tiny body behind the door, only her head peeking behind it.

“Hey there, Lily.” Eren smiled at her, a little nervous as he looked down at his little copy, “Is your mom home?"

Lily continued to stare up at him, ignoring his question with her own, "Who are you?"

Eren froze in his place. How the hell was he supposed to introduce himself?

He swallowed thickly, but still maintained his smile, “About time I told you my name, huh? It’s Eren. I'm-”

"Are you my mom's new boyfriend?" The little girl looked at him skeptically.

Eren found himself at a loss for words by the straightforwardness of the question. He began to think, trying to come up with a response that would answer her curiosity without delving into the complicated nature of his relationship with you.

“No, I’m not. I’m.. an old friend of hers.” The moment the words were uttered, he felt a surge of frustration run through him. You weren’t just friends who’d lost touch over the years. To reduce everything you’d gone through together to a mere friendship that had just faded away felt like a whole new betrayal. But still, as much as he wanted to, Eren knew he couldn’t tell the beautiful little girl in front of him the truth. Not just yet. “I really need to talk to her. Is she here?”

“Lily, I’ve told you not to open the door-“

You appeared in a flash, and Eren could sense your protective instincts kicking in, like a mama bear ready to defend her cub. You were in your bath robe, which made Eren a bit uncomfortable, appearing on a Sunday and catching you off guard. When your eyes landed on him, they widened, but he had to fight his from going down to your collar bones. Don’t, you asshole.

“Hey.” His voice was low and gentle, but that didn’t stop your frown from appearing. He watched as you instructed Lily to go inside, who sent him a smile before telling him bye.

“Bye, Lily.” Seeing her go inside, he wondered when he’d be able to see her beautiful smile again. Like he always wondered if he’d ever be able to see yours.

“Why are you here?” You brought his attention back to you, sensing the guardedness in your voice. Looking at him like he was your enemy, like he wanted to do you harm. He hated it.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, but I really need to talk to you.” He had the feeling you’d say no, so his first instinct was to cut you off. “Please, Y/n. Just an hour, whenever you can.”

He could only imagine how you must be feeling right now, put on the spot like that. But Eren had no other choice.

You studied him for a moment, your eyes revealing nothing. Eren’s heart was in his throat. He didn’t know if he should say something, plead with you again, or just remain silent. He decided on the latter, even though it was excruciatingly difficult to withstand your penetrating stare.

“You can’t just keep showing up like this. You know that.”

He did. It felt so wrong to disturb your life like this, but his selfishness was stronger than anything else inside of him.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He did his best to stop his voice from wavering. “I won’t bother you, I promise. Just please consider it.”

It felt like hours going by as he waited for you to say something. His fists clenched and unclenched as he struggled to tear his gaze away from you, his eyes drinking in every detail that had been denied to him for so long. He wanted to memorise your face in case you shut the door in his. Here, right now, in this vulnerable state, with your face untouched by make up, your hair casually gathered into a messy bun, body wrapped in your bathrobe. He watched you instinctively trying to shield yourself from him, a physical barrier reflecting the emotional walls that had been erected between you.

But to Eren, you were more beautiful like this than ever before.

“Fine.” The word rung in the air, and it took a second for Eren to grasp it, “Tomorrow, 2p.m., Daisy cafe. It’s my lunch break, so I won’t have an hour.”

His green eyes almost dilated, his face contorting into a smile. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, barely stopping himself. You were giving him a shot. He couldn’t possibly ask for more. “Yeah, sure, of course. Thank you.”

“Okay, then.” You cast your eyes down at your feet. Eren could sense you weren’t comfortable looking at him. “We have to get going, so..”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” He moved back a bit as if not to intrude your space. “I’ll- I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Bye.”

A heart beat later, you’d closed the door.

Eren lingered on your porch for a moment longer, basking in the afterglow of your agreement. His heart drummed a rapid rhythm in his chest, the echo of his pure bliss. You were going to talk to him. That glimmer of hope managed to fuel his determination like nothing else. It was euphoric, almost like he was floating. As he slid into his car, the scene replayed in his mind like a movie scene.

As he navigated the familiar streets, his smile was unwavering, a childlike glee etched on his face. The sudden ring of his phone disrupted the serene silence of the car. The device was new, its number known only to his father, which made the incoming call a curiosity. His mind flickered to the luggage he had left behind at the hotel, intended for his old house. The call, he thought, was likely related to that.

The moment he picked up, he regretted it.

“Hello!?”

Shit.

It was Hange. His manager.

How the hell did she get this number?

“It was about damn time, Eren!”

He sighed. He should’ve known they wouldn’t let go of him that easily.

“What do you want, Hange?”

“What do I want? What do I want!?” Her laughter echoed in the car, but it was laced with bitter irony. “Do you have any idea how much time I spent trying to find you? You bailed out on us and left without so much as an explanation!”

“I think I gave enough of an explanation.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot about the “I’m done living this life anymore” crap. Sorry if I didn’t believe you after saying it for the hundredth time without actually doing anything about it.”

“You can believe what you want. The reality is, I’m done.”

A brief silence ensued before she spoke again, her voice unusually grave.

“Eren, are you on drugs again?”

He didn’t know why, but it made him laugh, “Actually, for the first time, I’m as sober as can be.” He took a deep breath before speaking again. He had to end this once and for all. “Hange, I’ve talked to my lawyers. I want out of the contract.”

“You can’t do that, Eren. The contract’s not done for another year!”

“Watch me.”

“Eren, where the hell are yo-“

He ended the call before she could finish her sentence.

He recognised the unfairness of his actions. Hange was a good manager, even though he was sure she’d gone nuts after so many years of dealing with him and his band mates. But if he wanted to get his old life back, he had to leave this one behind. For good.

…..

10 years ago

The last day of school. A day that set you free from the tight grasp of constant homework and irritable teachers. A day that also somehow seemed to amplify the pounding in a certain green eyed boy’s heart as he laid next to you on the lush green grass, the school building mere meters behind you, forgotten for the next three months.

Eren thought tenth grade wasn’t like any other grade before it. It was the most fun he’d ever had at school, and the strange thing was, he didn’t even get into that much trouble. Well, if he really got to think about it, he knew there was a reason behind his change. Ever since that rainy day you opened up to each other for the first time, you’d become inseparable. It was so weird - one day, you didn’t even know that much about each other, then the next - he was walking you home and telling you about his dreams. You did, too. About life and your fears and your hopes. Late night conversations had become a regular occurrence, sharing every little thought, like and dislike with each other. And the best thing was, there was no judgement. It was a safe space between you two, a time when the world faded into the background and it was just you and him, baring your souls to one another. There were nights when the topics were deep and introspective, delving into the complexities of life and the future. Others, the conversations were light-hearted and filled with laughter, going into the early hours of the morning.

Sitting together in class, at lunch, and even after school became the norm for both of you. It was as if you were two pieces of a puzzle, blending seamlessly into each other’s lives. Eren found himself looking forward to each day, eager to see your smile and hear your voice. Your presence brought him a sense of comfort and happiness that he had never experienced before. He admired your strength and your ability to see the beauty in even the smallest things. Your passion for life ignited a fire within him, inspiring him to write about subjects he had never thought of before, like.. love.

Eren couldn't deny the growing feelings he had for you, feelings that went beyond friendship. He found himself captivated by your every word, your every smile, and your every touch. The way his heart raced whenever you were near was a clear indication that his emotions had transformed into something deeper. And, as dense as he seemed, he couldn't help but notice the subtle shifts in your interactions as well. The lingering gazes, the gentle brushes of hands, and the way your laughter seemed to fill the air with an extra sparkle whenever he was around.

But, as much as Eren thought he knew what was hidden behind your actions, he couldn't shake the uncertainty that clouded his mind. He questioned whether you actually felt the same way, whether his heart's desires were reciprocated. The fear of jeopardizing the beautiful connection you shared kept him from confessing his feelings outright.

Yet, the last day of school marked a turning point, a moment when Eren decided to seize the opportunity that the summer break presented. He couldn't bear the thought of spending one more day in the dark, hiding his feelings from you without knowing if there was a chance for something more to happen.

As you both laid next to each other, Eren's heart beat like it never had before. He mustered the courage to take your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. The touch sent a jolt of electricity through his veins, reassuring him that he was on the right path.

With a trembling voice, he turned to you, his heart on his sleeve. "I've been wanting to tell you something," he waited for you to look at him before he continued, trying not to get lost in the pretty hue of your eyes. "This past year with you has been the best time of my life. You've become my best friend and.. so much more.” His mind repeated that he should turn his face away from yours, or else he might burst into flames. Nonetheless, the grip he had on your hand tightened. Go on, you idiot.

“But Y/n, I.. I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

At that, your eyebrows arched, mouth falling slightly agape in confusion. That’s when you really noticed the redness of his cheeks, the vulnerability in his eyes. It was a look you hadn’t seen on his face before.

"Truth is.. I'm in love with you.” There it was, out in the open. He’d done it. There was no turning back now.

Watching your eyes go wide brought him a kind of anxiety his heart couldn’t handle. His hands had been sweating for the past 5 minutes, and he prayed to god you hadn’t noticed. And if he could get a glimpse of what was inside your mind, he’d realise that indeed, you hadn’t noticed, because there was nothing else that could get your attention except for his confession that was heavily hanging in the air.

Your mind replayed the word what, what, what, over and over again, and you thought about pinching yourself to be absolutely sure this was happening. He was in love with you. Eren just confessed he was in love with you. The boy you’d spent ninety percent of your time with, who’d become your best friend, confidant, shoulder to cry on when your dad forgot to call you on your birthday, who’d made you laugh until you had tears prickling your eyes, who’d walked you home every single day after school even though he didn’t have to, who’d given you his lunch when you didn’t bring one yourself. That Eren. YourEren.

The silence had gone on for too long. The green eyed boy felt the need to fill it, hoping he didn’t screw things up beyond repair.

“But I want you to know I understand if you don't feel the same way. Our friendship means a lot to me, and I don't want to jeopardize that."

You blinked a few times at him, your mind racing, trying to comprehend all the emotions swirling within you. You had to say something, even though your breath was caught in your lungs.

“I..”, you began, unsure of where to go. It was your first experience with.. situations like this. And if the person lying beside you was any other boy, it probably would’ve been a lot easier. But this was him. And because of how much he meant to you, it was scarier than you could’ve imagined.

But even though you were scared, you were also thrilled. Because, the fact of the matter was, you were head over heels for this boy.

“Can I tell you something too?” You asked quietly, eyes unconsciously focused on his lips.

“Of course.”

You didn’t even realise when it was you’d leaned in. But you did. With your lips gently caressing his, for the briefest moment. Then back you were, staring once again at those plump, soft lips you’d just kissed.

Eren’s mind struggled to catch up with what just happened, his stare going back and forth between your cherry lips and pretty eyes. The fact that you initiated this kiss, your first kiss, meant that he wasn’t wrong, that there really was something more between you. It was a validation he had desperately hoped for but never expected to receive.

With great effort, he steadied his breathing and met your gaze, bringing his hand to gently cup your cheek. His touch was tender, timid, but filled with warmth and affection.

"I... didn't expect that," Eren stammered, his voice soft and low. "But,” he gulped, eyes traveling down to your cupid’s bow, “I liked it. I really liked it."

Your cheeks flushed pink, a shy smile tugging at your lips. You turned to your side, facing him fully, and placing your own hand on top of his.

“I’m glad.” You whispered, “because… I’ve been falling for you too.”

You could almost feel the relief of his exhale, as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Then a gentle smile, the same one you’d been falling for for the past year, adorned his face. “You have?”

You nodded. “How could I not? Eren, I’ve never thought someone could be so amazing to me.” You leaned in even closer, “I was just scared to admit it because I didn’t want to ruin anything. I was scared there was a chance it was all in my head.”

“Oh, believe me,” Eren rested his forehead against yours, “it’s real. It’s been real for a while now.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, with tiny little butterflies flying around in your stomach and filling your chest with warmth. You couldn’t remember if you’d ever been this happy.

“It was the same with me.” He continued while gently stroking your cheek. “You’ve become such an important part of my life,” the most important, he thought, “that I was terrified I’d screw it all up if I confessed. But trust me, it was freaking torture wondering if you felt the same way. I couldn’t bare the thought of losing you if you didn’t.”

You shook your head, “You could never lose me, Eren. Even if that was the case, which obviously isn’t, I would’ve still been your friend. I’ll always be there for you.”

Eren’s eyes softened. You truly were amazing. “And I’ll always be there for you.”

You stayed like that for a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes, losing yourselves in them. And then, Eren decided to spontaneously lay a quick kiss on your nose. A spark of joy ignited within you, with your laughter bubbling up, filling the air with its infectious sound.

Eren’s eyes twinkled with delight, “That’s my favourite sound.”

“You always know how to pull it out of me. Even when I don’t want to.”

The moment the sentence was over, Eren couldn’t wait any longer. His hands gently cradled your face, like he was holding the most precious thing in the world. Then he quickly caught your lips in a soft, but passionate kiss, one that was filled with longing, a testament of how long he’d waited to do this. It took every last breath you had. When the kiss ended, you stayed close, your noses barely brushing against each other.

“I’ll make sure you always do.”

…..

Today

4:30. That was what the clock showed when he woke up with tears in his eyes.

He brought his hand to his cheek, feeling the dampness of his skin. Just when he thought he finally got used to it. The painful reminder that even when he was asleep, the ache of missing you still lingered, refusing to fade away.

The memories, so many of them turned dreams, ones that haunted him every night or so, were as real as he could remember. Your face was still as pretty, but your eyes were brighter then. In his dreams, he saw those eyes and the way they sparkled whenever he would gaze at them.

In those dreams, he could almost feel the warmth of your touch, the tenderness of your embrace. They were bittersweet, bringing temporary solace among the daily torment. A cruel reminder of what he had lost, yet they also offered a fleeting respite from the harsh reality of your absence.

But then he remembered. In a couple of hours, he would see you. His sleepy mind had forgotten to remind him of that, that it wasn’t all lost. That even though he wouldn’t get to hug or kiss you, at least he’d get to see you. Hear your voice. He wasn’t a 1000 kilometres away from you anymore, just a few streets.

He sat up in his bed, his dream still fresh in front of his eyes. He leaned against the cupboard and looked up at the ceiling. Did you, too, have dreams like this? He wondered if there were nights where you’d woken up with tears brimming eyes, searching for him while he was god knows where. It tugged at his heart, his fists clenching. He was sure nights like this were a regular occurrence for you after he left. And while you were pregnant..

He slammed his fist into the mattress and closed his eyes shut. He should’ve been there to wipe them, kiss them away, to help you, to love you. But he wasn’t.

“One step at a time, Eren.” His whisper echoed through the room. He had to talk himself out of the self-loathing, out of the guilt that was threatening to consume him if he took one wrong step. He had to believe things could get better.

He got up from his bed and walked to the window, pulling the curtains aside. The city was still asleep, the street lights casting a soft glow on the quiet roads. He took a deep breath, the cold air filling his lungs. He knew it was futile to try and fall asleep again, so instead, his mind began racing with all the possible outcomes of your impending conversation. His heart pounded in his chest as he thought about the words he would say, the apologies he would make. Would you accept them? Would you believe that he was sincere? Or would you turn him away, the pain of his absence still too fresh? He didn’t know any of these things except one that was for sure. He had a long day ahead of him.

…..

“Rise and shine, mama!” A certain cheerful voice rang in your ear. You opened your eyes to see your little girl jumping on your bed, her hair a mess, eyes wide and sparkling, like they always were. You smiled at her, pulling her instantly into a warm embrace.

“Good morning sweetheart,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Lily giggled, wrapping her small hands around your neck, “did you sleep okay?”

“Mhmm,” she nodded her head a couple of times, “I dreamt I was a princess and I had a whole castle allll for myself!”

Your laughter filled the air, “Well, that’s not far from the truth.” You scooped her up into your arms and got out of bed, making your way to her room.

“Tell you what, you make your bed and brush your teeth and I’ll make you some special princess pancakes, okay?”

When you let her down, she rose her tiny thumb up, her face determined, and you had to put your palm in front of your mouth to keep your chuckle in. She was just too cute.

“I want them pink!”

“You got it!”

You turned on your heel, trying to remember where you put the pink food coloring with strawberry flavor you bought for her. You prepared the batter, now being an expert at making quick breakfasts, all the while smiling at your daughter’s excitement. Life was just fuller with her in it.

Lily, having diligently made her bed and brushed her teeth, came running to your side, her eyes fixated on the bowl of pink batter. She bounced on her toes, "Mama, they're going to be the prettiest pancakes ever!"

“They just might.” You gave her a wink and a playful nudge, “But only if her majesty helped me mix the batter.”

Her face lit up at the prospect of helping you, and she eagerly grabbed the wooden spoon you offered her. You held the bowl steady as she stirred, her tongue poking out in concentration.

"Good job, your highness," you praised, ruffling her hair. "Now, let's get these pancakes cooking."

As the pancakes sizzled on the pan, filling the kitchen with a delicious aroma, you took a quick detour to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. When you returned, your heart swelled at the sight before you. There was Lily, perched precariously on a kitchen chair, carefully flipping the pancakes with a look of intense concentration on her face.

You really are growing up so fast, you thought. It was a thought that filled you with a profound sense of awe and a hint of melancholy. Your little girl was blossoming before your eyes, and while it was a beautiful sight, it was also a poignant reminder of how fleeting these moments truly were.

As you sat at the table, your attention focused on Lily, her excitement about starting school next week bubbling over in a stream of endless chatter while she ate her pink pancakes, your eyes filled with nothing but love for her. Until you unconsciously glanced to your right, at the chair that remained perpetually empty, and it stirred a pang in your heart. It was a void that has existed ever since she came into your world.

Despite her cheerful demeanor, you knew she was aware that things weren't quite as they should be. You saw it in the wistful look that crossed her face when she saw a child perched high on their father's shoulders. It was there in the longing in her eyes when she watched movies featuring families gathered around the dinner table, laughing and sharing their day. And it was painfully evident in the park, when she'd watch a mother and father swinging their child between them, their laughter echoing in the air.

Yes, your daughter was a happy child, full of life and joy. But there was a part of her world that was incomplete, a piece of the puzzle missing.

What should I do?

It was a question nobody could give an answer to except you. Confusion settled inside your mind like a heavy fog, and you found yourself grappling with a myriad of emotions. But then again, Eren had that kind of effect.

Just talk to him, you repeated to yourself, the words becoming a mantra that guided your resolve. You knew deep down that having a conversation with him was necessary, for your daughter’s sake at least. After all, you had faced and overcome numerous challenges in your life, and this was just another hurdle to navigate. Facing it was the only way to move forward.

One step at a time.

…..

With his third cup of coffee for the day clutched tightly in his hand, Eren couldn't help but notice the slight tremor that had begun to take hold. Perhaps it was the caffeine, or maybe it was the fact that in half an hour, he’d be meeting you. He strolled past the town's library, one hand buried deep in his pocket, the other cradling the diminutive cup of warmth. He observed the streets with an almost alien curiosity, taking in the sights as if for the first time.

This was his first venture into town, a decision his mind tried to dissuade him from, haunted by the prospect of getting recognised and the inevitable gossip that would follow. But he yearned for a taste of normalcy, a fleeting moment of being just another face in the crowd, despite his life being anything but ordinary. So, he ditched his car, and sauntered along the familiar, yet strangely new streets.

Eren was riddled with nerves at the prospect of talking to you, yet when he allowed himself to truly contemplate it, he realized his anticipation outweighed his anxiety. This was it, the moment he’d been waiting for, finally taking place. There was no room for screw ups.

But then again, as much as he pondered on it, he wasn’t quite sure what kind of apology would soften the sternness in your eyes every time you looked at him. I’m sorry for leaving for 7 years and making you gather the pieces.. no, that wasn’t it. I’m the biggest scumbag on the face of the earth. That seemed more fitting.

His thoughts then wandered to Lily. What was she doing at this moment? Did she enjoy drawing? Had she mastered riding a bike? Did she have a favourite sport? A favourite toy? Food? Movie?

He desperately wanted to know the answers to those questions, but he also feared the disappointment that might come with them. He had missed out on so much of her life, and he knew he could never make up for lost time. She looked like such a joyful kid, too.. The last thing he wanted was to screw that up.

The weight of his thoughts and the ticking clock in his mind seemed to drag his steps, making the short distance to your meeting place feel like a marathon. He was seconds from facing the music, facing you, facing the last 7 years.

The bell above the cafe door jingled as he pushed the open, the familiar sound sending a rush of nostalgia through him. This was a place you used to come after school along with your friends, a sanctuary for playing cards, laughing, making plans, escaping the world. Now, it sort of felt like a battleground, the setting for a confrontation that was years in the making.

He scanned the room, wondering if you’d showed up even though he was 20 minutes early, his heart pounding. Then one last glance at the far end table and there you were, sitting in a corner, your hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. When your eyes met his, he could see the wariness in them, the hardened resolve. You looked like you were prepared for this, for whatever he had to say.

He walked over to your table, his steps slow and measured. People were talking around him but it was like he couldn’t hear anything, like everything was silent. The only thing he actually could hear was the rapid beating of his heart as he reached the table and took the seat across from you. His hands trembled slightly as he placed them on the table.

“I thought I was going to be early.” He said, an anxious smile crossing his lips.

“I wanted to get it over with.” The truth was, you didn’t mean to sound so rude. Maybe it was the nerves, but you didn’t intend for your words to be laced with so much iciness. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, I get it.” He interjected, trying to sound unaffected, even though your words were like needles to his heart. “Thank you again. For meeting me.”

You nodded once, realizing how hard it was going to be to look him in the eyes. Breathe, your mind repeated. Just breathe. “I meant to ask yesterday. What’s wrong with your eye?”

Shit, he thought. He’d bought concealer yesterday to cover it, but your question meant he didn’t do a good job. No point in lying. “Met Jean the other day. I guess he didn’t miss me much.”

You looked down at your coffee mug, shaking your head. This was just too typical of them. “So.. what did you want to talk about?”

That I miss you so fucking much.

But he couldn’t say that. So, the next most important thing was, “I’m sorry.” He looked you straight in the eyes. “I’m deeply sorry for everything I’ve done to you-“

“I don’t need your apologies, Eren.” You stopped him in his tracks, causing his eyes to widen, “Really, just- don’t.” Your tone suggested no further arguing about it. Eren couldn’t decide which hurt more - the numbness in your voice or the disappointment in your eyes.

“Just tell me what you want.”

As much as it pained him, Eren knew this would most probably be the outcome. He expected his apologies to fall on deaf ears, even though he so desperately wanted, needed, to convince you how sorry he was. But he also needed to thread carefully.

“I.. know this is going to be too sudden for you,” he began, his eyes settled on a tiny drop of coffee on the wooden table, too overwhelmed to look at your face, “but the reason I wanted to talk is because,” spit it out, Eren, “I want to be a part of Lily’s life.”

Silence. Not a word, not a breath. Nothing.

When Eren looked up to catch your expression, he saw a medley of emotions on your face. Surprise, confusion.. maybe even a hint of anger. You took a moment to process his words, that felt like forever to the man sitting in front of you.

“I’m- I’m going to live here from now on, and I want to help you with whatever I can.” He added, trying to convey his sincerity.

You continued to stare at him, your features becoming unreadable. A deep sigh escaped your lips, and you craned your neck to look up at the ceiling. Then you moved your eyes towards him, gripping your cup tightly, “Eren.. Lily has a stable life. I can’t risk you ruining that. I’m sorry.”

The finality of your words made Eren’s heart sink to his stomach. But one thing about him was, he wasn’t giving up without a fight. “Okay, I deserve that. But.. are we just going to pretend like we don’t know each other? Are we going to just pass each other by?”

He struck a nerve.

“You pretended like I never existed and left. So, you tell me.”

Your words hit him like a punch in the gut. One that was long overdue.

“Y/n.. I can’t express to you how much I regret everything that happened back then. And even though you probably won’t believe it, if I had known about Lily, I-“

“So you needed to know about her so you could acknowledge me? Is that it?”

You had a counter for everything he said, and his words only further fuelled the slowly-bubbling anger within you. All the hurt, the betrayal, everything you had felt for so long was resurfacing, even though internally you were fighting to stop it. With much effort, you decided to try and collect yourself. You weren’t going to let him see you lash out.

“Eren, look.. I can’t let her be near a person who can walk away from his responsibilities with the snap of his fingers. This is my daughter and I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“She’s my daughter, too.” The words left a burning feeling in his throat, because he knew he shouldn’t have said that.

“I’m sorry?” The disbelief in your voice was palpable. His daughter? He wanted to be responsible all of a sudden?

“Look, if- if you don’t want me to spend time with her, I won’t put pressure on it. Just let me help with things. I can give you money, I can support you-“

“Money? You think we need your money?” You let out a disbelieving laugh, then quickly gathered your jacket, getting ready to leave. “This is ridiculous.”

“No, wait, please.” Eren reached out, grabbing you by the hand. The contact made you jolt, freezing in place. When you looked up, you were met by his desperate eyes. You stared at them, at the two green orbs he shared with you daughter, and you hated how for the slightest moment, you actually felt bad for him.

“I didn’t meant to sound so forward, I just.. I don’t know how to approach this.”

After a long silence, you pulled your hand away, not harshly, but firmly, and sat back into your seat. “Well, let me help you then. Just don’t approach it at all. Leave it be. It’s been years, and maybe things should be left alone as they are.”

Eren’s face fell. He should’ve expected that, but it still hurt more than he anticipated.

“Y/n, you can’t ask that of me.”

Your hands were shaking. You thought you were ready for this, but now that it was actually happening, you weren’t so sure anymore.

“Okay. What do I tell her? Hm? Hey, baby. I know you’ve always wondered who your dad is, and I know you haven’t ever met him, but the other day we bumped into him at the store, and now he wants us to be one big, happy family. Does that sound good?”

Eren winced at your words, the harsh reality of the situation hitting him like a truck. It was like he was in a maze that he was desperately trying to find the right path to, but that always ended in failure.

“You don’t get it, do you? You’re going to stir up her life. I can’t let you do that.”

“I know it’ll be hard.” He began quietly, “I also know it’s not fair to put all that pressure on you. The last thing I want is to make your lives harder. I want the opposite.”

“Good. Then it’s better if you stay away.” You were talking to hurt him now, and you knew it. “Anyway, you say you’re going to live here from now on. Why? How is your celebrity life going to fit in a small place like this?”

His answer was instantaneous, “I’m done with all that.”

A few moments were needed for you to process his words. “Oh. Oh, okay. You’re done with it. And now you think you can just causally stroll back in here like the last years didn’t happen?”

“No, I- listen, it’s not like that-“

“Then how is it, Eren?“

You noticed a few heads turning towards your table, realizing you’d been raising your voice. It was clear that emotions were running high for both of you, and you were aware that wouldn’t amount to anything good. Eren was hunched forward on the table, almost like a little kid seeking some kind of comfort.

“I couldn’t live like that anymore. I needed to come home.” His voice was so low, you barely heard it. Then he rose his head up, his eyes pleading, begging for you to believe him, “I swear, it’s been like that for a while. It’s just- it’s not that easy to get away from it. I did, though. It’s over.”

You leaned your head on your hands, and closed your eyes shut. Thousands of emotions threatened to swallow you whole. You took in everything he said and tried to make sense of it. But how do you trust someone who left you like you meant nothing and never looked back? You couldn’t let that happen to Lily. You’d rather anything else than letting someone hurt her that way.

“How do I know that you won’t go on tour and not come back for the next 7 years?”

“If I do that, you can always send Jean or my dad my way. I bet they’ll be real happy to put an end to me.”

“You think this is funny?”

Eren shook his head. “I am done. I was miserable leading that life. It’s over, Y/n. Truly.”

Silence enveloped the space between you and Eren as he could see the confusion etched on your face. A fraction of him held onto the hope that there was the tiniest chance you were considering giving him a shot.

“I just want to get to know her. That’s all I want.” He added, searching for your eyes that were settled on your coffee cup. “It’ll all be on your terms. Whatever you say, that’s what’s going to happen.”

Still silent, you lifted your gaze to meet Eren’s eyes. Oh, how you wanted to believe him. How you wanted to be sure that this man in front of you was someone you could trust with the most precious thing in your life. How you wanted to see the change behind his desperate eyes.

“What do you think?” He probed, his heart on the verge of exploding.

“I don’t know.” Your voice wavered, “I don’t know if I can trust you.”

“Tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it.”

Then, you saw it. It was like transporting back in time. A glimpse of the boy you fell in love with all those years ago, sitting in front of you, ready to do whatever it took to make it right. It was the look in his eyes, the determination, that almost caught you off guard.

You swallowed thickly, it all becoming too much, “I have to get back to work.”

Quickly, you rose up from your seat, and began rummaging through your purse in search for your wallet.

“No, please, let me.” Eren stood up, reaching to stop you.

You avoided his touch like it would burn you. “I can take care of myself.” You threw some money on the table without counting, wanting to leave before the tears started spilling.

Eren watched helplessly, a storm inside him, one that couldn’t let him decide what to do. Trying to think under the pressure of you leaving, he reached out inside his pocket and gathered a small piece of paper.

“This is my new number.” He held it out to you. “Please, just promise me you’ll consider it.”

His hand hovered in the air between you as you hesitated. You were conflicted, but in the end, you decided to take it. Even if you didn’t call him, leaving him here completely hopeless wasn’t like you. At the end of the day, if it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t have had Lily. Despite all the hurt and confusion that lingered between the two of you, you couldn't deny the impact he had on your life.

With a heavy sigh, you nodded at Eren, taking the tiny piece of paper in your hand.

Eren's eyes softened, a glimmer of hope shining through his inner storm. In a moments time you were out the door, leaving only the sound of the ringing bell behind you. He stared at your reflection through the window, every inch of his body wanting to chase after you, but his mind knew he shouldn’t. It was all in your hands now. Taking his number indicated a crack in the door, a silver of possibility, but he knew that the slightest pressure could slam the door shut again. So, he just stood still. Helplessness was his only companion for the moment.

…..

Summer, 10 years ago

You’d never actually gone to Eren’s house before. You’d only been to his backyard, having sneaked out one night and stargazed on the grass Mr. Jaeger had freshly moaned, where Eren intertwined your fingers for the first time. You’d spent an hour looking at the stars and thinking of goofy names for the constellations you could barely recognize, giggling every time one of you came up with something particularly silly. He then took you home on his bike, and helped you up the flower ladder that led to your room. If only you’d known how much he wanted to kiss you, even then.

What had changed between then and now was that he had confessed his love for you, which had given you the courage to do the same.

That day, he kissed you on your porch after taking you home like he usually did. It was a long, soft kiss, with his hands cradling your face, a kiss that made your knees wobble and your breath hitch in your throat. You fell asleep thinking about it, about all of it. There was this euphoria that wouldn’t let your smile fade, nor your mind rest. You woke up the next day to a text from him.

Eren💚

“Good morning, beautiful.”

You couldn’t stop your grin from spreading across your face. You pressed your phone against your chest, sighing with content. As you laid there, the morning light filtering through your curtains, you felt a warmth that wasn't just from the sun's rays. It was the warmth of him thinking about you at 8a.m. You typed a response, your fingers dancing across the screen with the same lightness that filled your heart.

“Good morning..❤️ did you sleep okay?”

You hit send, and almost immediately, the little dots that signaled Eren was typing appeared. The anticipation bubbled inside you, a pleasant fizz of excitement that made you sit up in bed, clutching the phone even tighter.

Eren💚

“Didn’t sleep much tbh. Couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday.”

You couldn't help but feel a flutter in your chest at his words. You wanted to say so much, to tell him that he had been in your dreams all night, that the thought of him made the morning seem brighter, but you settled for a response that conveyed your feelings without overwhelming him.

“Me too.. It was the best day I’ve had in a long time.”

You were restless to see his response, watching the screen in anticipation, the seconds of him typing passing like hours in your mind.

Eren💚

“It was the best day I’ve ever had.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Best day he’s ever had. You wanted to write that too but didn’t want to appear too forward. Turns out he was braver than you, which wasn’t a shocker at all.

Eren💚

“I really want to see you. Take you for breakfast?”

Was this how things were going to be from now on? Were you going to be so giddy and excited every time he messaged you? The thought made you smile even wider, and you couldn't type your response fast enough.

“I’d love that. What time should I be ready?”

Then, your phone rang. It was him. Your heart was beating faster than it ever had before. You had to repeat to yourself that this was still your best friend, the boy you’d shared your deepest thoughts and dreams with. But now.. he was something more, and that change seemed to turn you into a person you’d never thought you’d become. That made you nervous but also.. so, so happy.

You quickly picked up, voice timid but filled with warmth, “Hey.”

“Hello, pretty girl.” He was going to be the end of you with those nicknames. “Could you look outside your window for me?”

You blinked a few times, taking you a second to comprehend what he was saying before you jumped out of your bed and ran to your window. There, on the street below, was Eren. He was leaning against his bicycle, phone to his ear, and looking up at your window with that familiar, heart-melting grin.

You couldn't help but laugh, surprise and delight bubbling up inside you. "Eren! What are you doing here so early?" you asked, still holding the phone to your ear, though you were now speaking to him both through the window and the call.

"I wanted to surprise you," he said, his voice coming through the phone and faintly from the street below. "How about we start with that breakfast I mentioned? I couldn't wait until lunch."

Your heart did a somersault. "Give me five minutes!" you exclaimed, already thinking about what you could throw on quickly. You didn't want to keep him waiting.

"Take your time. I'll be right here," he replied, his tone patient and kind.

You ended the call, a smile plastered on your face as you hurried to get ready. You brushed your hair, found your favorite comfortable jeans and a t-shirt, and grabbed a light jacket. After a quick glance in the mirror, you dashed downstairs, your heart pounding with the anticipation of the day ahead. Your mother was in the kitchen, and you faintly heard her ask you where you were going so early.

“Eren and I are having breakfast!” You replied before you opened the front door. When he saw you, Eren pushed off from his bike and walked towards your front door. His eyes were bright, and the morning sun gave his hair a golden hue. "Good morning, for real this time," he said, his voice warm and inviting. He looked so.. ugh, he was the most beautiful boy you’d ever seen. He was wearing a pastel green shirt that made his eyes pop, and his smile was infectious as ever.

“Good morning..” you sounded shyer than you intended, but that seemed to steal another grin from Eren’s handsome face.

“You’re so cute.” He caught your face in his hands and planted a soft kiss on your lips. Your cheeks immediately flushed, and to your dismay, Eren noticed instantly, letting out a loud chuckle. “Are you blushing?”

You looked down at your feet, then hid your head in the crook of his neck. “Shut up..”

Eren laughed again, then brought you back to look him in the eyes, “Y/n, it’s still me, you know.”

“I know that!” You exclaimed, “it’s just.. I’m not used to this yet.”

Eren crooked an eyebrow, trying to hide his smile. “Mhm. You seemed to get used to it pretty quickly yesterday.”

“Oh, shush!” You wrapped your arms around him, and you felt his lips press against your hair.

“We should get going if we want to beat the breakfast rush.”

…..

Daisy’s cafe was as full as you’d expect for a Saturday morning. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of light chatter filled the air, welcoming you into its embrace. You found a small table near the window, the perfect spot to enjoy the morning sun. Eren ordered your favorite chocolate chip pancakes without even asking you, the gesture making your heart full. When they came along with the other things you’d ordered, the green-eyed boy watched with an amused expression as you drizzled syrup over the stack, the rich, sweet aroma mingling with the coffee's robust scent.

And then, without any warning, “My mom wants to meet you.”

You almost choked on your first bite. This was unexpected to say the least. Not because of anything else, but because you’d never met his mom before, and you knew about her.. condition. Eren had confided in you about her declining health, but conversations about it were rare, his discomfort in discussing it understandable.

Eren's expression softened, and he reached across the table to take your hand. "Yeah, she's been asking about you," he said gently. "She wants to meet the girl who's captured her son's heart."

Your heart swelled, then you took his hand in yours as well. "Of course, I'd love to meet her," you replied, your voice steady despite the nerves that suddenly fluttered in your stomach. "Whenever you think it's the right time."

“I think it would mean a lot to her, and to me. My dad would be stoked to meet you, too."

You nodded, smiling. The thought of meeting his parents, his mom, especially given her health, felt like a big step.

“We could go today, actually. After breakfast, if that’s okay with you.”

The invitation caught you off guard, but you saw the earnestness in Eren's eyes. This was important to him, and therefore, it was important to you as well.

"Today?" you echoed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze back. The suddenness of the plan made you nervous, but the idea of putting it off didn't feel right either. "Yes, of course. I want to meet them too."

Eren's face lit up with relief. "Great!", he said, his voice filled with excitement that made you happy. "I was talking about you all night yesterday. They’re already in love with you.”

He’d been talking about you. You wanted to jump into his arms right this second. “I hope I live up to their expectations.”

He laughed softly, the sound easing the tension that had built up at the thought of the meeting. "You will. They're going to see what I see in you."

You finished your breakfast, chatting about little things to ease the nerves. Eren told you a bit more about his parents, his childhood memories, and what you might expect. It was comforting to hear him talk so fondly of his family, and it made you even more eager to meet them.

“But Eren, I need to change! I want to look more presentable-“

He reached across the table to put his finger in front of your mouth.

“You’re perfect, okay?”

It was just like him to reassure you in such a direct and heartfelt way. You smiled against his finger, and he reciprocated it.

“Okay, I trust you.”

After breakfast, you hopped on his bicycle, your arms circling his stomach, that was as hard as a rock, and he took off down the street. The ride was relaxing, your head resting against his back, eyes closed, letting yourself feel the summer breeze. As you held onto him, you could feel the muscles in his abdomen flex with each pedal stroke. The air was fresh and crisp, and the gentle rush of the wind against your face was invigorating.

The streets were familiar, yet they seemed different from this perspective, the perspective of your newfound relationship. Everything was more alive and vibrant. You watched as the neighborhood passed by, children playing on the sidewalks, dogs barking in the yards, and the everyday life of the community unfolding around you.

Then, you remembered. The flower farm you worked at was just a few blocks away from Eren’s house, and an idea formed in your mind.

“Hey, stop there.”

Eren glanced over his shoulder, following your gaze to the flower farm. He slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road, coming to a stop. "Here?"

You nodded, dismounting from the bicycle. "Yes, I just thought... maybe I could bring a bouquet for your mom. It's the least I can do, considering she's inviting me into her home."

"That's a really sweet idea," Eren said, his eyes softening. It was moments like this that cemented in his mind why he’d fallen so hard for you. You were just so kind, so thoughtful.. beautiful inside and out. “I’ll wait for you here.”

You quickly made your way into the flower farm, greeted by the familiar scents and colors that always brought you comfort. You selected a few of your favorite blooms, arranging them into a bouquet with care and attention. The colors were vibrant, and you hoped they would bring a smile to Eren's mother's face.

Returning to where Eren waited, you showed him the bouquet. "What do you think?"

"It's beautiful," he said, genuinely impressed. "She's going to love it."

As you approached his parents' house, your heart began to beat a little faster, but you tried to remain calm. When you came to a stop, Eren helped you off the bicycle, his hands steady and warm. You took a moment to compose yourself, smoothing out your clothes and running your fingers through your hair to tame it from the ride.

"Ready?" Eren asked, searching your face for any sign of hesitation.

You nodded, feeling a surge of courage. "Ready.”

Eren led you up the path to the front door, and before he could ring the bell, he looked at you one last time. "Hey," he said, his eyes searching yours. "No matter what, I'm here, okay? And they're going to love you. I know it."

You nodded, squeezing his arm. He rang the bell, and within moments, the door swung open to reveal his mom. Carla Jaeger. The resemblance between mother and son was striking; Eren had inherited her whole face, her eyes and the same kind expression that made you feel instantly at ease.

She gasped when she saw the two of you, and her eyes shone like two beautiful jewels.

“Oh wow. Eren, you didn’t tell me she was that pretty!”

The compliment sent a rush of color to your cheeks, and without thinking, you found yourself drawing closer to Eren, seeking a subtle comfort in his presence. His arm, strong and reassuring, seemed to naturally wrap around you, as if to silently say, 'I've got you.'

“Mom, this is Y/n.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, mrs. Jaeger.” You extended your hand for a handshake, and she took it instantly, holding it with her two frail hands. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she stepped aside to let you both in. "Please, call me Carla," she insisted warmly. "Mrs. Jaeger makes me sound far too formal. You of all people should be able to call me by my first name."

"Thank you, Carla," you replied, appreciating the gesture of intimacy. It was a small thing, but it spoke volumes about her character and how she viewed your relationship with her son. “Eren told me that you loved flowers.”

You extended the bouquet towards her, and her eyes immediately lit up with appreciation. "They’re beautiful, thank you so much," she inspected them thoroughly. "You have a wonderful eye for arrangements. I'll put these in water," Carla said, already moving towards the kitchen. "Please, make yourself at home."

The house was filled with the pleasant hum of a home well-lived in. The walls were adorned with family photos, and the shelves held an array of knick-knacks and books that gave the space a personal touch. It was a home that was clearly cherished, a place where memories were made and treasured.

As Carla led you through the house, Eren stayed close, his hand occasionally brushing against yours in a silent show of support. You could feel his gaze on you from time to time, checking to make sure you were comfortable. She led you to the kitchen, where the aroma of blueberry muffins filled the air. You couldn’t not notice the beautiful vase filled with white lilies, a throwback to your first conversation with Eren.

“Sit yourselves down, I’ll make some coffee. Actually, Y/n, do you drink coffee or tea?”

“Tea would be great, thank you.”

Carla nodded and smiled, moving gracefully around the kitchen to prepare the beverages. "Tea it is," she said. "We have a few different kinds. Any preference?"

As she busied herself with the kettle and the tea selection, Eren pulled out a chair for you at the kitchen table. The domestic scene was heartwarming, and you felt a sense of inclusion. Eren took the seat next to you as Carla placed a steaming mug of tea on the table, along with a small plate of muffins. "Help yourself to the muffins," she encouraged. "I baked them this morning. They're Eren's favorite."

You thanked her and took a muffin, noticing the way Eren's eyes lit up with childlike excitement at the prospect of his mother's homemade treats.

“Well, look who it is.” A male voice filled the room, and you turned to the door to see Mr. Jaeger put his keys on the kitchen counter, his smile on display. “You must be Y/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you, sir.” You stood up to shake his hand, and he gave you a friendly shake.

“There are no “sirs” around here. You can call me Grisha.” He tapped his son on the shoulder, “Eren’s been telling us so much about you.”

“Only good things, I hope.” You gave a nervous laugh.

“The best.” He winked down at his son and Eren shook his head, smiling.

Grisha's easygoing demeanor and the playful interaction between him and Eren helped to further ease any lingering nerves you might have had. The atmosphere in the Jaeger household was one of warmth and joviality, and it was clear that humor and affection were the foundations of their family life.

As Grisha joined the table, Carla brought over another mug for him, and the family settled into a comfortable routine, as if you had always been a part of it.

“Now, do tell us, how did our boy succeed in stealing your heart?”

“Dad!” Eren's protest was half-hearted, his cheeks tinged with a hint of red as his father posed the question that hung in the air, a mix of curiosity and gentle teasing. Grisha's eyes twinkled with mirth, and it was clear that he was enjoying the moment, eager to hear the story from your perspective.

You glanced at Eren, who gave you a small nod, his embarrassment giving way to a look of affection. It was your cue to share the tale, and you took a deep breath, ready to recount the story that had become a cherished memory for both of you.

"Well," you began, a smile spreading across your face as you recalled the details, "it all started in detention, actually."

“Oh, that’s gotta be interesting!”

Grisha's interest was piqued, and Carla leaned in with a look of amused anticipation. Even Eren seemed to settle in, ready to hear your version of the story, despite knowing it all too well.

"Yes, detention," you continued, the smile never leaving your face. "We were both there for completely different reasons. I had accidentally fallen asleep during class, and Eren..."

You looked at him, unsure if you should say the reason for him being there. He looked at his parents, only saying, “Jean."

They both nodded, with Carla rolling her eyes, which led you to believe they were familiar with their antics.

You continued, “Well, I was reading my book when he came up to me, and we started talking. He was interested in it and wanted me to tell him about the story.”

“Can I confess something?” Eren chimed in, “I was more interested in you.”

You playfully nudged him with your shoulder, “You don’t say. Anyway, it was just the two of us, so we came up with a plan and decided to..” you stopped again, biting your lip, realising where the story was going, and the consequences that followed right after.

“Wait, is this about the time Eren locked that grumpy teacher inside his classroom?”

You froze in place, thinking maybe this wasn’t the best story to tell his parents the first time you meet them. Given the fact you were both suspended for an entire week after that, it was probably not the best idea.

“Ugh, I can’t stand that little man!” Carla exclaimed, her previous amusement giving way to a hint of exasperation and a rebellious twinkle in her eye. "Always so sour. I'm not saying I condone what you two did, but I can't say I'm entirely surprised."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, relieved by Carla's reaction. Eren gave you a reassuring look, squeezing your hand gently under the table as if to say, "See, it's okay."

“He’d tried to embarrass Y/n earlier that day. Couldn’t let that one slide.” Eren intercepted, and Grisha let out a laugh.

“Sounds like our boy, alright. Looks like you’ve got quite the knight in shining armour, Y/n.”

You couldn't help but blush at Grisha's comment. Eren's protective nature was one of the things that had drawn you to him in the first place, and it was clear his parents recognized this trait in him too.

"I guess I do," you replied with a smile, looking over at Eren, who was trying to hide his own reddening cheeks.

Eren, recovering from his moment of shyness, added with a playful grin, "Well, I can't have anyone messing with my partner in crime, can I?"

Carla shook her head with a smile, clearly amused by the banter. "Just make sure you two don't end up in actual armor, okay? I don't think I could handle bailing you out of the school dungeon."

The table erupted into laughter, the atmosphere light and full of familial warmth. Then, mrs. Jaeger started coughing, and not the kind of cough a flu could bring. It was long, and the laughter around the table faltered as her coughing grew more severe, her hand coming up to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. The jovial mood quickly shifted to one of concern. Grisha was by her side in an instant, his hand on her back, his expression a mix of worry and calm as he tried to help her through it.

"Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay." Grisha said, his voice steady but tinged with urgency.

Eren was on his feet now, his earlier embarrassment forgotten as he focused on his mother. "Mom, should I get your inhaler?" he asked, ready to spring into action.

Carla managed to nod between coughs, and Eren didn't hesitate. He dashed off into the house as you stood up as well, feeling a bit helpless but wanting to offer support in any way you could.

"It's okay, dear," Carla said between coughs, trying to reassure you and Grisha, though her voice was strained. "This happens sometimes. Just need my inhaler."

Eren returned quickly, out of breath but with the inhaler in hand. He passed it to his mother, who took a deep puff, holding it in before exhaling slowly. After a few moments and a couple more puffs, her coughing began to subside, and her breathing evened out.

"I'm sorry for the scare," Carla said, her voice still a bit weak but steadier now. "I've been dealing with this for a while. Some days are better than others."

Grisha gave her a soft smile, his eyes full of love. "The important thing is that you're okay now," he said.

Eren sat back down, the worry slowly leaving his face as he saw his mother recovering. "Yeah, Mom, you've got to take it easy," he said, the protective nature you admired so much shining through once again.

She waved her son off, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” She then turned to give you a soft smile, “I’m really glad we finally got to meet you, Y/n. Eren’s been different ever since you came into his life. No more going to the principal’s every week or so. You seem to have a good impact on him.”

You exchanged a look with her, one that truly conveyed her gratitude.

Eren smiled, his eyes now on you, “She keeps me in line.”

“Well, he’s been there for me, too. In more ways than one.” Your hand lingered on top of his, and you felt the incredible need to kiss him, but you knew now was not the right time.

Grisha, ever the observer, raised his mug in a mock toast. "To keeping each other in line, then," he said with a chuckle. "Sounds like the secret to a good partnership."

“It does, doesn’t it?” Carla looked at her husband, her eyes shining with fondness and gentle ribbing. "You could let loose from time to time, you know. Life is not only about balance. Sometimes, a little mess is good."

Grisha's eyes met Carla's, and he gave a mock sigh of resignation. "I suppose you're right," he conceded with a playful roll of his eyes. "A little mess never hurt anyone. It's the spice of life, I guess."

Eren watched the exchange with a smile, clearly enjoying the banter between his parents. It was evident that their relationship was built on a strong foundation of love and mutual respect, peppered with the ability to laugh and tease one another.

You couldn't help but smile at the scene before you, feeling a sense of inclusion. The Jaegers were.. they were what truly family was all about. Their ability to embrace life's imperfections, to find humor in the chaos, and to support one another through it all was inspiring. It was a reminder that family wasn’t about being perfect; it was about being there for each other, through the mess and the triumphs alike.

“I think I’m going to start on lunch.” Carla said, but before she could start rummaging through the kitchen drawers, her husband stopped her in her tracks.

“I’m making lunch. You sit down and rest.” He gave her a quick peck on the forehead, then turned to Eren, “Come help me start the barbecue, son.”

Eren kissed your cheek, then got on his feet and followed his father to the backyard. They had a big yard, and it was a sunny day, a perfect time for a barbecue.

As you watched Eren and his dad prepare the grill, the way they moved with an easy familiarity, it was clear that this was a ritual they had shared many times before. The clinking of the tools and the crackling of the fire blended with the sounds of nature in the Jaegers' backyard, creating a symphony of domestic bliss.

Mrs. Jaeger watched as well, with a genuine smile on her face, and yet.. you could sense the sadness in her eyes, a mother's concern that never fully fades even in moments of joy. It was a look that spoke volumes about the love she had for her family and the silent strength she carried within her. She was a beautiful, but frail woman, her big sweater doing nothing to conceal the fragility that seemed to be a part of her very essence. The coughing fit had been a stark reminder of her vulnerability, and it was clear that her health was something that weighed on her mind, as well as on the minds of her family.

“I really meant what I said, Y/n.” The woman spoke, her eyes still glued on her family. “Thank you for being there for him. The last year and a half has been.. challenging. I was afraid he was going to keep spiraling, getting into trouble, but then you came along.”

She was now looking at you you, her gaze filled with gratitude and relief. It was clear that your presence in Eren's life had made a significant impact, not just on him, but on his entire family.

"You've grounded him," Carla continued, her voice soft but earnest. "Helped him not think about.. everything."

You felt a swell of emotion at her words. You knew he was different, you’d seen it, felt it yourself, but hearing it from his own mother meant the world to you.

"I care about him a lot," you replied, meeting her gaze. "And he’s been there for me just as much as I've been there for him. We support each other."

Carla reached out, placing a gentle hand over yours. "That's what it's all about, isn't it?" she said with a smile. "I can see how much you both mean to each other, and it gives me peace of mind to know he has someone like you in his corner."

You nodded your head, your gaze back on the boy who’d stolen your heart, “I want to thank you, too. You’ve done a wonderful job with him. He’s.. everything I could ever ask for.”

“Oh, sweetheart, stop it, you’ll make me emotional!” Carla exclaimed, and you both shared a laugh. Her laughter was a balm to your ears, and as you both settled into a comfortable silence, your thoughts drifted to your own mother. The change in her had been palpable ever since your father left. Where there was once warmth and open communication, there was now a cold distance that seemed to stretch further with each passing day.

Her lively spirit, which used to fill the house with joy and endless chatter, had become withdrawn, her smiles fewer and her conversations clipped. The light in her eyes had dimmed, replaced by a weariness that seemed to weigh down her every movement. She was there, but not in the way she used to be—her presence more like a ghost of the vibrant woman she once was.

You understood her pain, the sense of abandonment and betrayal that must have eaten away at her, but it pained you to see her so altered, so consumed by the shadows of what used to be. You longed for the days when your mother was your confidante and your pillar of strength, not this shell of her former self, moving through the days with a hollowed-out heart.

Sharing this moment with Carla, you were reminded of the stark contrast between the lively, loving atmosphere of the Jaegers and the quiet desolation that had settled over your own home. It made you appreciate the Jaegers' warmth even more and deepened your gratitude for the sense of family they extended to you—a gift that was all the more precious given the void that had formed in your own life.

"Life has a way of throwing us curveballs," The woman before you spoke, as if she could read your thoughts. "But it's how we catch them—or pick them up after they've hit the ground—that really counts."

You nodded, looking down at your tea. “I like how that sounds.” For a moment, you debated if you should confide in her, having met her only today. But there was something about this woman, about her demeanor and outlook on life, that made you feel safe. It was a feeling you hadn't realized you'd been missing until now.

You took a deep breath, feeling the words rise up from within. "My mom... she's been different ever since my dad left. It's like the life has been drained out of her, and I don't know how to bring her back. We were so close before.. I miss her—the way she used to be."

Carla's expression softened, her eyes reflecting a deep empathy. She looked at you like this wasn’t the first time she’d heard that story, probably because Eren had already mentioned it. Which, you were kind of thankful for. It meant he cared enough to seek support for you even when you weren't around, and that Carla was now a willing confidante, ready to offer comfort and advice.

"I’m very sorry to hear that, Y/n. It's never easy, seeing the ones we love change before our eyes," Carla said gently. "But remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and a lot of love. Your mother may seem lost right now, but she's still in there, somewhere. And with you by her side, she has a beacon of hope to guide her back."

Her words were a comfort, and in that moment, you felt a connection with her, one that went beyond casualties. She was offering you a piece of wisdom that came from experience, from her own life's trials and tribulations.

"I truly hope so," you said, your voice thick with emotion. "I'll keep trying with her. Maybe one day, she'll be ready to start picking up those curveballs herself."

Carla reached to touch your cheek, her palm warm like her soul. "I’m sure she will, in her own time. And she's lucky to have you. Just like we're lucky to have you here with us."

“Thank you, Carla. This… it really means a lot to me.”

Carla's touch was reassuring, and her kind words wrapped around you like a comforting embrace. "You're welcome, dear," she replied with a gentle smile. "We all need a little support sometimes. Don't hesitate to reach out, whether it's to talk about your mom or anything else. We're family now."

You nodded, feeling a sense of belonging that was both new and deeply cherished. The kindness and openness this woman shared with you was like a soothing balm to the ache you'd been carrying around. It was a stark reminder that, while you couldn't control everything that happened in life, you could choose the people you surrounded yourself with—people who could make the burdens feel a little lighter.

“Now, do you think you could help me set the table? I could even show you my special lemonade recipe.” She sent a playful wink your way.

"I'd love to," you responded, the corners of your mouth lifting into a genuine smile.

Carla stood up to show you around the kitchen, and together you began to gather the plates, utensils, and glasses needed for the meal. The clink of cutlery and the clatter of dishes became the backdrop to a new kind of intimacy, one that was formed through shared tasks and quiet conversation.

As you worked, Carla shared her recipe, explaining each step with the care of someone passing down a treasured secret. You listened intently, taking note of the way she squeezed the lemons just so, the exact amount of sugar she added, and the sprigs of mint she used for garnish. The simplicity of the task, paired with the significance of the moment, made you feel more at home than you had in a long time.

With the table set, the bouquet you gifted her centered right at the middle of it, and the lemonade prepared, you stepped back to admire your handiwork. The kitchen was now transformed into a cozy dining space.

"Looks perfect," Carla said, surveying the scene with a satisfied nod. "Thank you, Y/n. You're a natural at this."

Just then, Eren and his father appeared at the door, the scent of grilled food preceding them. "Wow, look at this!" Eren exclaimed, his eyes taking in the spread. "You two have been busy."

His father placed a hand on your shoulder, a silent gesture of thanks that spoke louder than words. "You're part of the team now," he said with a warm smile.

As everyone took their seats around the table, the afternoon sun casting a golden glow over the scene, you felt a profound sense of peace. Eren sat next to you, his hand never leaving your knee, and in that moment, you just knew.

This was exactly where you were supposed to be.

…..

It was a silent night. A night where the crickets could be heard, their sound still gracing your town’s fields and grass because of the warm weather. You were lying in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, unable to fall asleep no matter how much you tried. It’d been two days since your conversation with him. Two days of overworking yourself so you could not think about him. Two days of failing because of all the waking up in the middle of the night, your conversation still fresh in your mind.

Lily was fast asleep in her room, unaware of your inner turmoils. At least you hoped she was. The first day of school was just one day away, and she was beaming with excitement, talking about anything and everything she couldn’t wait to do now that she was a “big girl”. It was heartwarming to listen to her, and it gave you a reason to smile amidst the swirl of emotions you were caught in. Lily's happiness was infectious, and it reminded you why you pushed through the tough times. Her joy and innocence were like beacon in a storm, guiding you back to what truly mattered.

But now, in the quiet of the night, your thoughts drifted once again to Eren and the small piece of paper that now sat on your nightstand. The mere act of taking his number didn't bind you to anything, but it symbolized a bridge — a potential pathway back to someone who had once meant the world to you.

With each silent tick of the clock, your mind played through a thousand different scenarios. What could happen if you called? What would remain if you chose not to? But there was a more pressing question that you couldn’t escape: What did you want to happen?

You rolled over in bed, trying to find a comfortable position that might welcome sleep. Your life had done a whole 180 since he came back, and you were afraid of the same thing happening to your baby girl. How could you answer her questions without breaking her heart if you decided to tell her about him? Even if you came up with some dumb lie that could evidently cause more damage as she grew older, that would only put a bandage on the wound. It wouldn’t fix anything.

But what if Eren was telling the truth? What if he really wanted to be a dad to her? It would be like taking away her chance of having both parents present in her life. But what if.. what if he left again?

You took a deep sigh, palms pressed against your face. You looked at the clock. It was 11:45pm. Screw it.

You jumped off your bed to grab the little piece of paper and began dialing his number, thinking he probably wasn’t asleep. Even if he was, you didn’t care. You didn’t know if you would get that kind of courage again.

He answered after the second beep.

"Hello?" Eren's voice came through the line, alert enough to recognize the urgency of a late-night call.

"Hey, it's me," you said, your voice steadier than you felt. The crickets' chorus seemed to quiet as if the night itself was holding its breath, waiting for what would come next.

“I know.” I know your phone number by heart, he thought. “Is everything okay?”

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as a means to collect your thoughts. You wanted to tell him that no, everything was not okay. That you’ve been thinking about your conversation, about everything, and that you couldn’t sleep a wink because of it. But instead, you decided to opt with something entirely different.

“The first day of school is in one day.”

Eren went silent. He knew, of course, but he couldn’t quite understand why you were mentioning it.

“Yeah, I know..” he replied, a note of confusion in his voice, “Is Lily okay? Are you?”

"She's more than okay. She's excited, can't stop talking about it," you said, a small smile forming as you thought of your daughter's enthusiasm.

“I’m glad.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice. “It’s her big day, after all.”

Then, you became quiet again. The silence stretched between you, filled with the weight of unspoken thoughts and lingering emotions. Eren seemed to sense your hesitation, your internal struggle with the complexities of the situation.

“Y/n.. is everything-“

“We’re having a gathering at home after the school ceremony. I want you to come.”

The words came out before you could second-guess yourself, a decision made in the quiet space between heartbeats.

“It’ll be only close friends and some neighbors. Your dad, too.” You decided to add.

Eren's response took a few seconds, but you couldn’t miss the excitement, surprise and gratitude mixed within his voice. "I... yes, yes, I'll be there. Just tell me the time."

You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. "It'll be in the afternoon, after the ceremony. I'll text you the details," you said, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your stomach.

"Okay, I'll wait for your message. And Y/n… I… ", Eren paused, as if choosing his words carefully, "Thank you. I really appreciate this.” He went quiet again before he spoke, “I'm going to make sure you don't regret it."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. "We'll see," you said, not ready to make any promises or set any expectations. "For now, let's just focus on making it a good day for her."

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Eren agreed. "She's going to have the best first day. I'm sure of it."

"Yeah, she will" you whispered, a small smile returning as you thought of your daughter's excitement. “And Eren.. I haven’t told her anything yet.”

“Yeah, I understand. I told you, whatever you say, that’s what happens.”

"Okay. Goodnight.”

"Goodnight, Y/n," Eren said softly, a note of warmth in his voice.

The room was quiet once more, the earlier tension replaced by a cautious hope. You were still unsure about the future, about how things would unfold, but you had taken a step. For now, that was enough.

As you lay back down, the crickets outside resumed their song, a familiar and comforting sound. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to imagine the gathering, the school ceremony, and the look of joy on Lily's face. With those thoughts filling your mind, you finally felt sleep begin to take hold, offering you a respite from the whirlwind of emotions and a chance to finally rest.

…..

Tag list: @vlsquuu @love-is-sick @shima707 @6sakusa @p4lli @intimacywithcelestine @docufanfic @jaegersdiary @xcelestina @fvckingeetar @theforest @roronoazorosbxtchh @hannaburnout @camilo-uwu @ec3lipsy @littlemochi @erensonly @f4irycafe @idktbhloley @fairyvibez @desthevirgo @ange11core

#eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader #eren smut #eren jaeger smut #eren fluff #eren jaeger fluff #eren jaeger angst #eren angst #eren x reader

77 notes · View notes

seonghwanotes · 1 year ago

Text

new years eve | jeong yunho

pairing: yunho x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 953

a/n: this was originally a collab but i completed the ending bc the writer i collabed with had closed her acc so yeah, this had me thinking for a lil bit. ALSO THE GIF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im getting bias wrecked big time, i cannot imagine being yunhonotes 😭 (21 Aug 2021)

a/n: as i write this, it is 28th sept 2023 😭 had this in my drafts for a while, did not proofread at all so will just post this up for now x

It was finally the most awaited week of the whole year, Christmas week. It was a family tradition for everyone to start preparing for Christmas when December came by but this year round, you were away from your family and you were spending it with Yunho and his friends. Considering that everyone was busy with their own schedules and you finally got a break till New Years, you began your preparation a little later than usual.

But as usual, Christmas went by in a blink of an eye. Right after you had taken down the Christmas tree all by yourself, you let out a loud sigh, feeling a little sad. It certainly felt a little different since it was something you’d do together with your family members but it didn’t feel as lonely since you were with your loving boyfriend.

You grabbed your phone off the couch and took a picture of the now dismantled tree, sending it to Yunho who was at practice with the boys. Not even a second passed, he had seen your message and immediately called you.

“Oh, hello?”

“Y/N, how can you take down the tree without me helping you out? It must have been hard, especially with the upper part of the tree.” He scolded you, making you chuckle.

“Yunho, it’s fine. I was gonna do it by today anyway and I was free after you left so I just got it done. You would be home later anyway. I used a chair in case you were wondering.” You replied back, earning a sigh from him. You didn’t need to be next to him to see his pout and know that he was upset for not helping you out.

You waited for a bit as you sat down, grabbing your gifts you got for Yunho along with the gift wrapper. You set your call on speaker mode and put your phone down. You could only hear some of the boys whispering to each other but it wasn’t too audible since the background music was blocking their voices out.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry I didn’t wait till you came home but tomorrow’s New Years eve! You know I don’t like keeping the tree up for longer than 3 days. Anyway, I’m going to the supermarket soon to get some stuff for our dinner tomorrow.” You told him, still not getting a response back. “Should I get champagne too?”

You and Yunho spent a homely Christmas together as everyone was with their family except for the two of you. It was not much but work has definitely made your lives much more busier, causing you two to not get presents for each other in time that you were doing it pretty late. Not that it mattered to you at this age but you felt bad for not carrying out a simple task.

You started wrapping your presents, occasionally glancing at your phone to see if he was about to end the call since he wasn’t answering you back. There was some light bickering among the boys but you couldn’t hear what they were talking about. “Jeong Yunho, If you wanted to help me out so badly, do me a favour and ask the boys what they would want for gifts or I’m wrapping vegetables for all 8 of you.”

Your threat seemed to slightly work as you heard Mingi chime at the other side of the call, “Ya, I don’t want vegetables this year. You better ask her for her size or I’m asking her myself!”

Size? Your size for what? You were about to voice out but Yunho cut you to it. “Well, that sounds fine. Go ahead, baby.”

“So you want me to get vegetables for them?” You questioned, earning a yell from Jongho.

“Y/N! Don’t listen to hyung! Get us what you feel like getting us except vegetables… what? Oh, no mint chocolate for Hongjoong hyung and Seonghwa hyung. We love you!” He yelled, making you laugh. These boys were enough to make you feel like you were at home.

“Not sure why I’m on speaker mode but okay.” You answered back, hearing someone getting a hard smack. You were about to end the call but stopped when Yunho called out. “Baby, wait! One more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Your hand is almost the same as San’s right?” The question almost came out as a whisper, Yunho knowing you would get agitated at that question since your hands were the size of a child compared to his delicate giant ones.

“You know the answer already. Why are you even asking this? Are you getting me a bracelet from Pandora or what?” You asked him, sealing the gift wrapper with a ribbon on top for Yunho’s gift, which was a Rolex watch and matching rings that you’ve been eyeing for a while now.

A silence was heard initially, then a voice followed along. “Yeah, would rose gold do?”

Your cheeks flushed, “Ah, um, yeah. See you later then. Tell the boys to be early tomorrow. Oh, I’ll get 3 bottles of champagne then, okay?”

“Okay, sure thing. Yes, 3 is fine. I love you.” Yunho replied, sending a kiss through the call.

“Love you too.” You responded and ended the call.

One gift wrapped and there was more to go. You sighed, pushing them away for awhile and opened your laptop to surf the internet, making a list on what to buy for the boys, wanting it to be meaningful as well. Even if Christmas wasn’t as joyful as you wanted it to be, New Years was going to be the most memorable holiday you had in a while and you couldn’t wait for it to arrive.

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #kpop #writing #jeong yunho au #yunho imagines #yunho fanfic #yunho au #jeong yunho #ateez yunho #yunho x reader #new years day

100 notes · View notes

theworldofotps · 1 year ago

Text

Captured Soul (Part Two)

Pairing: Bálor x Reader Word Count: 1,570 Description: Y/n recounts how she met Bálor and made the biggest mistake of her life.

Decided to write a part two for my Bálor fic (A Running Soul) I posted in 2021 for 13 nights of Halloween. I hope you enjoy this, and I hope you all have a safe happy Halloween! _________ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist @melissahausen @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose @99hook @sjwrites22 @sassymox @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred9 @rebellious-desires @claymorexpunisher @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37 @auburnwrites @aews-four-pillars @seeingstarks @whenimakeitshine1234 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @blaquekitty @ironshamelessyouth @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @ripleyswhore @melblacc @alliwant456 @elevennbloom @xbreezymeadowsx @mcreignsera If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ________ Three months.

At least I think it’s been three months since I was brought here. I’ve lost track of the days after the third week locked in this cell.

My body aches, where my soul once rested is now nothing more than a gaping hole of pain that throbbed dully every now and again. To remind me it’s no longer there, to remind me that HE won in the end.

You can’t escape y/n, can’t talk your way out of having to spend the rest of your eternity in this hell.

His voice mocked me as I had fallen to the ground scraping my knees on the dirty cell floor. My arms wrapped around my shivering body as the cool damp air seemed to hit me all at once. This part of the castle was much colder then the other part I was in.

The room where it happened.

Finn, well, Bálor as it turned out to be, shoved me in here after he ripped my soul out. The hot white pain I felt as he took it, then waved his hand to seal it off left me trembling in agony.

And afterwards he just left me alone, I was brought two meals a day and was brought out three times a week for a shower which Bálor said wasn’t even needed considering I wasn’t seeing anyone but him or his demons.

The only thing I was given to entertain myself was a stick which I used to draw in the dirt passing away the endless hours that I wasn’t being tortured. I couldn't believe I hadn't completely put it all together when Finn had started talking about him. I wish I hadn't run from the cabin that night. Wish I never left the company of my friends thinking I could get away. Not where he was concerned I couldn't. Bálor, or better yet the demon king as those around here referred to him, still wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with me just yet. How I despise his very existence, and yet I was the foolish one for even summoning him in the first place all those years ago. ~Ten years prior~ “Please Marcus don’t do this.”

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched my ex-boyfriend packing all of his belongings from our shared dorm room. Marcus simply shook his head as he continued shoving things in boxes and suitcases.

“I’ll take what I can and in a few weeks I’ll be back to get the rest of my stuff, I’m sorry y/n.”

Watching in heartbreak as he set his bags outside the door for his friends to take down to the waiting van. I couldn’t help the defeated feeling; I knew this breakup was coming for weeks now but it still hurt. Part of me wanted to yell and scream to beg him to reconsider but I knew it was pointless. Marcus gave one last look around the room before his eyes drifted to me then left, grabbing his book bag and walking right out of the door.

I sit in silence listening to the sound of his fading footsteps, making my way to the window. I watched as he exits the building walking down the street and out of my life. I sobbed for hours just thinking over our past memories, replaying every detail of our relationship. How did it all end up so badly, how could the person who said he loved me more than anything not love me now? Grabbing my laptop after finally drying my eyes I begin scrolling the search engines. Searching for questions that reflected to mine, answers to the questions that bounced around in my mind.

Now I will admit, searching how to win someone back, how to regain lost love, the list goes on. Was not one of my best periods of time for me. When nothing appeared on the internet I turned to books in the library. Call me desperate or ridiculous but at the time I didn’t care. I managed to drag myself there after a small nap.

Coming across an old leather bound book with the words Ireland Mythology in faded gold letters I decided to check it out. After getting back to my dorm I sat on my bed and began flipping through it. Reading over the different myths and legends.

Then I stumbled on a section about him.

I devoured every word spilled out on the pages before me, and once I finally neared the end there was a paragraph. One that claimed could bring him back, I believed it to be total bullshit but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Turning off the lights I lit two candles that were kept for emergencies. Clearing my throat, I started reciting the spell. Seeing the flames flicker I continued talking with a clear voice not noticing the dark red mist seeping under my door. Feeling my heart start pounding as the mist slowly began to show itself and shifted into the shape of well sort of a man.

“Oh fuck.”

I whisper, setting the book down as he opens his eyes looking at me. I was startled to see a deep red, his skin was a combination of red, black and white. Shifting over his skin like a slithering snake his hands were more like claws, a headdress sat on his head with nothing more than a red wrap around his waist.

“Are, are you Bálor?”

“I am who are you to summon me?”

Swallowing down my panic and fear I set the book to the side of me.

“I’m y/n I want to talk to you about something and hope to possibly make a deal with you. My boyfriend broke up with me and I want him back.”

Bálor looked around the room slowly circling it before looking at me.

“You wish to make a deal with me, to make your ex boyfriend want you again? Am I hearing that right?”

“Yes I know that we could work things out if he would just listen to reason. And I need your help. I never thought this would actually work but now that it has.”

Spotting the book beside me Bálor’s claw reached up and snatched it looking at the pages in silence.

“Have you read the whole book?”

“Not just the rest of your section, will you help me or not?”

“I’m willing to help you, however you must realize once this deal is made you can’t go back on it. I will collect my debt when the time comes.”

“Okay that sounds good, is it money or something you need?”

I asked hesitantly as I watched him place the book on my desk, he chuckled and shook his head before looking back at me. The light from the candles flickered showing his fangs.

“No, when we make this deal, your soul will become mine. I will try my best to make your ex come back and then when I’m ready, I will take your soul.”

Staring at him I rubbed my clammy hands against the fabric of my pants, slowly nodding my head as my eyes met with his. I couldn’t seem to look away and finally spoke.

“Okay I’ll make that deal.”

This had to be some crazy dream, this wasn’t real I was going to wake in the morning and it was going to be a silly dream.

Bálor smirked and walked over holding out his claw, slowly placing my hand in it. We shook and he pulled me up into his chest.

“I’ll see you in a few years, little one and don't try to hide because I'll always find you.”

*Present time*

When I woke up the next morning I had a couple of texts from my ex and we met up after classes. Worked things out and the next couple of months were good, until I found out he was cheating on me. I was devastated, and honestly I forgot all about Bálor for a couple years. Until he started leaving signs that it was almost time for him to collect. Then I began moving around a lot, running every chance I could.

I thought I had evaded him this time. I hadn't seen or heard anything in months and now I was locked here in this cell. Sighing I lifted my head when the door to the dungeon opened expecting a guard. I was surprised to see Bálor. Unlocking my door he motioned for me to follow him, slowly lifting to my feet, I came out and followed him up to the main floor.

“I figured out what I’m going to do with you, you are going to be cleaning up the room that I use to torture the darkest of souls. Without a whimper, whine or complain and if you do good you’ll no longer be required to live in the dungeons. If you refuse and fail to obey orders you’ll be returned to your cell and your punishment will be worse then anything you’ve experienced since you’ve been here. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir.”

I whispered looking at the floor and stopping when he turned towards me with a smirk on his face.

“Don’t sound so upset, you signed yourself up for this when you opened that book. It’s time for you to pay up y/n welcome to the rest of your eternity.”

#wwe #Bálor #the demon king #finn balor #a halloween fanfiction

28 notes · View notes

beautyandthebetes · 11 months ago

Note

Diabetes asks: 1, 12, 17

I am soooo sorry I never saw this! I usually use the app and I just thought I’d get this as a note but I guess not 🤷‍♀️ so here we go!

1. How old were you when you were diagnosed? I was 22 and in DKA for who knows how long, but it got bad fast after I started working in a hospital and was surrounded by germs all the time

12. What’s your best diabetes story? That’s a hard one cause it depends on the mood of the conversation! But let me tell the sweetest (pun intended): when I was first diagnosed, my boyfriend of five years was getting ready to go to his final semester of college - his car was already packed when he came to see me in the ICU. He was 20, and I had already come to the conclusion that it wasn’t fair to him that he should be saddled to me and a lifelong disease with no cure in sight, when he was healthy and had his whole life ahead of him. When he came to see me and I explained what had happened and how my life was going to permanently change, I told him that even though I loved him more than anything, I loved him enough to understand if he couldn’t handle this and wanted to walk away. And I meant every word - I would’ve been heartbroken, but I didn’t want such a drastic change to come between us and just make it a bitter, messy breakup later if he felt obligated to stay just because we’d been together so long already. He said he understood, but he loved me just as much and said he wanted to stay. He wanted to help me and spend the rest of our lives together, whatever happened. I was so relieved that I wasn’t going to be alone, and he learned everything I did as I settled into my new lifestyle. He’s saved my life more times than I can count, and now he’s my husband ❤️

17. Favorite finger to test on? I use a cgm so I don’t have to often, but my right index or middle finger is my go to. I never test my left hand because if I do it hurts when I play guitar.

Hope you see this @typeoneninja and I’ll reblog the ask post in case anyone else wants to join!

#beauty and the betes #t1diabetes #t1dlookslikeme #t1d #t1diabetic #type 1 diabetic #actually diabetic #answered asks #ask me anything

3 notes · View notes

otomesiren · 1 year ago

Text

FFXIV PSA: Beware of Narseth D’havi on Seraph/Dynamis and Moogle/Chaos

Beware of Narseth D'havi on FFXIV (lodestone is linked). He puts up a nice front, but behind that is a toxic, manipulative, and gaslighting liar.

He has emotionally hurt me to the point where I couldn't go to sleep, had a nightmare that was very graphic, couldn't eat, cost me out of $500+ for a job I couldn't complete due to my mood dropping due to the constant messaging of how his "day was ruined", could barely talk about this entire thing that he told me about before caving in to tell my close friend, boyfriend, and outside friends who didn't play the game. I was expected to keep what he told me to myself. He had tried to make me promise to not tell my friends when that is nigh impossible for me.

This was too much for me to read and listen to from him. I'm not a therapist. I am not trained in this nor do I pretend to be one. What he did was load upon load of what he claimed happened (even breaking his own promise to not MENTION IT when i told him to refrain) to the point where I was emotionally drained and triggered, both from past experiences, but this was far worse.

Expecting the average person to contain all this when they're not qualified to handle such immense emotional reactions and then blame them for taking action like I did is wrong and ridiculous. I was treated like utter shit and a fool by him.

Hello, I hardly go on here but this has been on my mind to post a beware of him since March of this year. He frequents Twitter and I’m not going to post this over there since I don’t feel safe on there as I do here. More so now thanks to El*n’s bullshit. Plus this post is 24 pages long. I don’t have that patience to slice it up. The goal of this is to get this out is to warn people to stay the fuck away from this abusive piece of shit. This post may upset someone or more and to them I say this: I've been dragged into this and then treated as if i have no fucking right or say about it especially if said ex friend is an abusive bastard who just wants to get his cake and eat it too and then complains about it worse than what I see in retail of how it's not how it's made to his liking, how he wasn't catered to, it's by the book manipulation and gaslighting and overall abusive.

I did my best remembering and searching what I could in Discord since some did happen in game. Some proof is below at the very end. I’m not going to show all since it’s not needed and most of the story is not mine to tell nor show. My POV is what he spoke to me about and one part that shows his true colors without me there. That. Is. It. I'm not going to search through more in Discord since I would have to unblock him to jump to his messages or try to remember what I said 5+ months ago and then scroll in hopes to see what I’m looking for or spend x mount of hours trying to find it.

This post is edited as much as I can with the help of two very close friends of mine. I didn’t get time to ask those who doesn’t know the story to have a complete outsider view (I don’t know how else to explain that). In case you didn’t get the gist from above, this is a very heavy long post that has subjects of the following mentioned:

gaslighting

manipulation

disturbing nightmare with violence is mentioned and summarized (my own nightmare after a year of not having one)

mention of panic attacks/anxiety

immense anger (lots of cussing, it’s how I unleash the emotion and I damn well deserve to unleash it after all the shit he put me through. I know people can be affected by this since one of my dear friends has it)

pet passing (my own)

If I missed one, I’m sorry. I finally felt ready to post this tonight and the sooner it’s out there, the better it is to warn others about him.

His character/guild/twitter/discord accounts His main’s lodestone: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/42388617/ His new main: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/49016648/ as of August 17th 2024. His alts: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/47595294/ https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/47594784/ His “alleged” alt: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/29042799/ His FC/guild: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/freecompany/9280370719638690199/ His twitter accounts: https://twitter.com/NarsethXIV (deleted) https://twitter.com/DarKye (protected) Discord: narseth, ID is 617822537040003092 (used to be DarKye, I don’t remember the numbers that Discord used to have after usernames)

For some backstory: I met him on PWI in 2009ish along with others when I joined the guild, Aesthetic. We only played dungeons and did guild events. We fell out of touch but added our guildees to FB and then Steam since it was all the rage then. Throughout the years, we haven't spoken to each other (the rest of the guildees I have lost completely out of contact) as the years went by. Sometime early 2022 I think, I get in touch with him again after I noticed he was playing FFXIV on Steam. I just recently got back into it at the time and have caught up to the expansion pack and told him, “hey let's meet in game”. So we did. He was in another server and we hung out at the time. We also added each other on Discord, his user on there was DarKye (his typical username in games and other places) before he changed it recently to narseth with Discord's questionable change of usernames.

We went to our first venue together sometime in July 2022 when we saw some ads in shout chat. I found to have loved it, and he did too for a while. We found out twitch djs were a thing and I got a very much needed break from work for three to four days, almost a week, and found out by staying up to the ungodly wee hours that hard bass made me relax and chill out before bed when years ago, I had found it to be uncomfortable to listen to. I could finally get some sleep that came easily to me for once. After that break I had from work, he told me he couldn't keep going for a few days due to work. That didn’t bother me at all, he had to get up early and I understood since he was hours ahead of me in South America. I was terrified at first going by myself, but it's a good thing I did.

As I went by myself from mid July to August (i did still invited him to come with, but he said no a few times but he did come to one when I told him how awesome it was with the skill/light show), I met six new friends whom I got along great with and dragged my fc leader/close friend into it too since she was curious about it herself. August was something special, on the 15th I met my boyfriend of 11 months now, I'll name him T, and we hit it off immediately. We stayed up till 5am in the morning despite both of us having work the next day. During this, I barely messaged Narseth on discord, while in game he was silent or messaged in fc here and there but hardly on Discord except when he wanted to share something. I soon found out that he felt like a bother and that led to him not messaging me since he was doing his MSQ. I was already done with mine but I had told him before many times to always send me a msg to fan about it. Even when I brought up I was always on Discord - I practically live on it, he said he felt like a bother. Keep this in mind.

Once Aug 30th hit, I asked out T and he said yes. I kept hanging out with my new friends, old friend, and T as we went to venues. I had since given up trying to invite Narseth with us. There was a time where I saw him much after in the year at a venue but

It wasn't until sometime in October that I found out Narseth was interested in someone in game. He wouldn't tell me who yet but he sounded happy. He told me that he knew how fast it was being since it was just two weeks, just like mine was, so i didn't think much about it until that day in November when I met his intended. One he didn’t even wait to introduce me when i told him and warned him i would give him so much shit (teasing, mind you) that he didn’t even introduce me before he proposed to her in game. Keep the teasing in mind too.

When I met her with my friend and T, we behaved like we always did. I soon found out much much later that night that he was very upset by it. He told me that I was too harsh with my teasing [in front of her] and got mad about the three of us teasing him to me ONLY, in DMs on discord. (He also admitted that he felt good to pay me back when one of his friends refused to call me my correct name in game vs my nickname that friend of his gave me. That was the first red flag I should’ve fucking noticed.) But the reality was that he didn't want to look "foolish" in front of the one he lied about. In turn, he turned the blame completely unto me: how I hadn’t hung out with him despite me trying to make conversation with him. I told him the very same that even if I do msg him, he barely messages back or even forgets. Latter I understood, but it was why I didn't even hang out or talk with him anymore. He didn't seem to be interested in talking to me at all or do anything but focus on his intended whom he greatly replied to very fast to is what I was told.

The way he typed to me in Discord during that conversation was very condescending and rude. He treated me like I did nothing or put any effort to hang out or do anything with him when I did, in fact, tried to include him, tried to talk - practically everything. He acted like he didn’t know me and he didn’t at ALL now that I look back on it. It felt utterly wrong to be spoken to in this way, text or not. My fear of confrontation and hurting a friend when really it was ME being hurt not him, caused a very bad panic attack: I felt a sick sensation in my stomach. I hadn’t had one this bad since starting college years ago. It freaked me out, shooting my anxiety to where I couldn't eat for days. I could barely sleep. For three to four days. I missed out on work but this was just the beginning of these attacks. I never mentioned this attack to him at all but it was bad to the point I couldn't focus on anything and I cried. A fuck ton. I hold my friends in high regards and making them upset makes me feel bad, but never to this degree that sent me shaking and had bile in my throat to the point where I felt like I was wrong. When in fact, I wasn’t. I was being manipulated and gaslighted to the point of bending to his way and will of how a friend of his should act. I had merely been myself as I always was, and suddenly, somehow, in front of her, it wasn’t ok to tease him like how I usually did. My body knew subconsciously that what he did was emotional abuse and it was the start of feeling this “friendship” wasn’t really one since then. I felt like walking on eggshells each time since I promised I wouldn't tease him after that. Which I upheld but without that, it wasn’t me. My bf and close friends also found it very strange when I told them what had happened.

If only I fucking knew what came next in December.

December, a week or so before the holidays, i found him fcless (guildless). He was upset. He told me why and I wished he didn't when I asked. This was the beginning of many and I do mean many of "she did this and this" and at the start, I was concerned. I was concerned throughout until I found out the truth. Who the fuck wouldn’t be? But I digress. He told me to never bring it up to what he told me that day to her. I promised not to. He also tried to make me promise that I couldn't tell my friend in game but that is literally impossible. I already began to. More so when the same thing weeks after weeks of him being a sack of shit when really he painted her as the one. On the 18th, it affected me so greatly that i had a nightmare for the first time in a long time. This nightmare was graphic and disturbing. I told him about it after he said he would like to hear it after I warned him it was bad. I also shared it to my bf and my friend. DETAILS OF THE DREAM AHEAD, skip to the next paragraph that has “ ****** Christmas”. The dream was a man was attacking a woman and i could hear the woman screaming. Blood was on the floor as each attack took place. Each attack was a stab as a knife and I could hear.

****** Christmas came. I had a Secret Santa ready for my friend group and I was participating in the one I joined that he refrained from inviting me until I pointed it out in game. Needless to say, he ruined Christmas for me. At the time though, I thought it was for a friend who needed help/advice and yet, it was just the start. At first, he told me vaguely about why he was upset and then told me he missed my birthday party in game held at my bf’s friend’s venue due to something coming up. I’m not going to say what exactly, but he told me what had happened and it made sense why he couldn’t make it. I understood and told him not to worry about it since there was always the next time.

New Years came, they “fought”/”argued” (his words) again and he swore he was done this time. Ha. I saw gposes(group photos) of the two all lovey dovey in a server I was in with them. This, I think, was the start of my many serious reactions of her being brought up again and again. More so that he would rather stay with the woman he painted as toxic when he knew I had experience with an ex that supposedly did the same thing he painted of her doing to him. It just made no sense the more as it went on and every time it happened, I wanted to message her to tell her to let go. I threatened to cut him off since here I was, being told something else and then he went and post those gposes as if everything was ok? It just didn’t line up, and it affected me greatly since i had exp with an ex that said nice sweet words, and everything he was claiming she was doing: flirting, crossing boundaries to name a few. It was making me shake in anger and wanting to msg her and when i mentioned it one time, he said don't. When I got too angry about her, he didn't like it. He told me to stop or calm down whenever I did. Plus, he kept saying “You don’t have the full story” over and over again.

On the 12th of January, Narseth and I had a vc (voice cat). I'm not sure if this is the one I was emotional in since we had just two about her. I wish i never did vc with him, he sounded like he really just didn’t give a fuck what I said despite a very serious convo much later that he “valued” what i said. He had told me that vcing is easier too, though to me it was just to hide it. He kept giving her excuses despite telling me the bloody opposite that he’s done when he told her that he wasn’t letting go. Over and over like a damn broken record. It caused me to get even more upset when i was already emotional on the vc. He didn’t care a single cent that I was not in the mental capacity to do this and yet, he had called me on Discord. I had already shared my experience from an ex already and he wanted me in vc? When it was obvious that I would be affected by it?

What was i thinking, is what i ask myself in the past and probably some whom are reading. And the answer is simple: He was a friend. Friends I try to be there for them. Plus, I “knew” how he felt in this picture that he painted that turned out to be a lie. I thought he needed help even if it was harsh at times because i knew it was going to hurt.

We had another serious talk. It felt like he didn’t want to talk about it and my guess was right. He was too tired so I waited for the morning barely getting any sleep. It had affected me again, as it always does. This time, our talk was way worse. When I asked him if we could, he said “Would it be productive?” (turns out to be his favorite fucking word after “listen”). I told him flat out i didn’t know and he explained how it was going good, that “we’re doing better”. That they were fine. I felt...relieved, now knowing it was okay, but also some part of me wondered “Is this really ok?”

On Feb 8th, my cat, Benny, started to not eat. I took him to the vet with my dad the next day since he had a history of having hard stools in his later years. He sadly passed away on Feb 13th due to kidney failure after I tried to syringe feed him. He had been in the worst shape. I also heard him dying the day he died. My friend who had worked in the field told me that by the time we hear the noises, they’re already gone. I was shaken up. I could barely eat. Sleep. I cried on and off. I never felt so upset as I did when my precious boy passed. I took off work f grieve since I was in no way mentally capable of going in and dealing with anyone. I was crying at the drop of a hat. He was my precious boy. I heard his last moments in my bathroom when he woke me up. It still makes me cry to this day. And Narseth knew most of this and yet, he still brought her up again not even a week AFTER or to even wait few more weeks so i could mourn. I was not, in any good mental state, to hear any of what he had to say about her that racked up my anger, made me lose sleep, and just outright being affected by it. Only this time, I felt numb since i was grieving. I was exhausted. I was tired. I brushed it off to him with “I’m taking you to the spa" in a halfhearted joke.

When I got my house on the 20th of Jan in game of ffxiv (after the housing was now lottery), he told me I would have to tolerate her since she would be building with him. I said no promises. He showed me a screen of them two crafting after i showed him one of mine and my bf crafting. For once, i had no reaction but it wasn't until later that day when he brought her up again that it upset me again. And again another day. It was building and building and finally, I had enough.

It was the 25th of Feb when a friend showed me that they were in game and showed me a screenshot of Narseth in the same location with the very one he claimed he was “done with”. This was after he said to me that he would talk with her to end it days ago after calling it toxic to the billionth fucking time at this point.

I messaged (sent a tell/whisper/private message) him in game and asked him what the fuck was he doing. He said they were fine. I said he told me he was done that night. I was livid. I logged out and then I then messaged him on Discord after, telling him he was being pathetic. He told me to stop. I refused. I was done. I meant what I said that since he wouldn’t cut her off, I would cut him off. I sent a message to her right after on Discord, telling her to get away from him. When she didn’t reply, i messaged him on twitter showing what i sent to her. I knew he would be mad, and didn’t care at this point. My gut was right however that something was off. He showed it to her on her alt discord and she reactivated her account on discord and told/showed me what really happened. I showed him on twitter after asking if it was ok from her to post the screenshot to him and she said yes. He gaslit me immediately after, telling me to go “read the logs” and “you don’t have the full story” when he had every chance to do so and wouldn’t. Meanwhile, I was shown screenshot after screenshot what really happened. Again, I will not say what was in those other screenshots, but the one I do share in this post from her is the key part where I saw his true colors of a liar.

All my patience was gone at this point. I was livid. I cussed him out after everything i went through. All for this called “FRIEND” of mine after I stayed up, could barely eat, listened to his rants, went on fucking vc when i wasn’t in the right mental capacity to deal with it after work, had a nightmare that disturbed me immensely, lost a freelance job of over $500+ that I had to refund after many pushbacks the client was upset despite being very patient. I had to refund this client of mine with three of my paychecks and my tax refund. All of that FOR HIM and he LIED TO ME.

The true colors of him finally came out: He said he never wanted my help that he wanted a place to RANT without judgement (when he didn’t even think that he fucking LIED to me? That’s not ranting you piece of shit) , that i could THINK he was an asshole.

What was funny, was that Twitter didn't even let me see his messages to me until after i told him he fucking lied to me AND i was shown he talked shit about me behind my back (and yes, I have proof of this happening)- How I was projecting my own exp onto this. Despite him linking narcissist videos on youtubes to me. This is so absolutely fucked up. Here he was, acting like he did no wrong and treating me like an idiot and then he tried to put it on me. No. That’s not how this works :)

Narseth is the one who dragged me into this, told me things that I really shouldn’t fucking know throughout, and then blamed me for stepping in as anyone would when something didn’t add up. I did everything I could as a friend could be. I tried to be patient and that didn’t work. I tried to tell him what was what, and that didn’t work. In the end, I found out the truth. He tried to place the blame all on me and then he ran like a coward: left his guild/fc and transferred to another server from Faerie to Seraph.

Proof Below

As a reminder: I’m only posting some. This is MY side and pov of how he treated me and spoke to me about his lies. I will not show anymore. It's difficult to search in Discord when you have someone blocked and I will have to scroll through months of who said what. I have these screenshots thanks to sharing with close friends at the time when the truth came to light of his lies.

Image below that I have him blocked on my discord with others being covered with black.

(he has me blocked, so it doesn’t show his info such as having nitro or his old username as it would below from https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/12620128861463-New-Usernames-Display-Names in the “A New Profile Badge For Old Usernames” area)

Below is proof of the video he linked painting his narrative again about her when really it’s him. I took these in February after I found out the other side of the story. At that time, he claimed that he was quitting back in March (which is when I took this to show close friends) and had taken off all pics on his discord (icon and header on profile) so that’s why you see it different.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjbm7h8XMm4 is the video linked below.

below is him after linking the above video. yes, that text in red is my edit when i showed someone about it: that he kept on repeating this “being a good partner” before this. Note what day this is: Christmas Day.

Below is proof of some of the conversation on discord after i blocked him in game. This was when I remembered “this is okay, she’s doing the things I want”. Everything was churning inside me: how this was going, how upset he was, but also how it triggered my past experience. I called him pathetic and I didn’t care how he would take it. He told me stop, as he usually did when I got angry and he didn’t like it. H's no stranger to that. This time though, I refused.

I took these earlier this year before he changed his discord user with the discord update to show my close friends. I'm the person that vents mainly to myself but when it's too much, I have close friends that we just get each other and know we need to let out steam.

I have taken out the bottom part since it mentions his age and real name.

Some context is missing in the next screenshot below showcasing my twitter messages because it’s NOT my story to tell.. This is how he emotionally abused and lied to me to the point I thought he was being an idiot [and he was, just in another way]. Keep in mind he was LYING all this fucking time. If you think it’s harsh, it’s meant to be.

He deserved every word from my mouth hiding it for three fucking months and costed me work and affected my mental health. I was done, I was tired of his constant complaining, the whining every time he was upset, mad, sad, said he was done, no romance to be found, he’ll block her soon, she was [and he] was toxic, she didn’t do things for him, blah blah fucking blah. Vent after loaded fucking vent that was the same song, same dance every two weeks or even one week. Then all seemed to be well. Then rinse and fucking REPEAT over and over and over again. Week after week or every other week. So yes, I was harsh and angry as anyone WOULD in my shoes.

This was the time I finally said fuck it and sent messages to the person whom he claimed was toxic and found out their side of the story. They were not civil either and I will not be sharing it here since it was based on his lies.

For the image below, I suggest reading the other pic below it first to get context, but this is what he says in that screenshot that sent me into a cussing frenzy “she’s projecting her own shit”.

Bigger pic of the screenshot below, which felt like a punch in the gut. This was when I didn’t recognize who he was and felt sick reading it. I was angry at the same time finding all of this out and I felt fucking good letting him have it.

The red is covering the one whom he is talking to which he knows already was shared with me since i sent him this on Twitter.

As you can see above, Twitter didn’t load any of his messgaes until after I blocked him (which is why I kept cussing him out) so here are two pictures of what he said afterward when Twitter decided to load them.

End of proof.

#ffxiv #PSA #tw: abuse #tw: mental health #tw: panic attacks #tw: narcassist #tw: gaslighting #tw: pet passing #tw: emotional abuse #ffxivabuse #long post #If he tries to get this taken down I will keep reposting it. I have it all saved on my computer the cloud and thumb-drives.

1 note · View note

sevandsstuff · 5 months ago

Text

Its been so long since the last time I pressed the Post button in Tumblr. Its nice to return.

I am more mature now than I’ve ever been. But I win because I still can maintain the childlike personality and the freshness of youth.

I have been healing and growing so strong. I got to know myself and be compassionate with myself through the triggering moments in my romantic relationships. Saying that doesn’t mean I don’t spend enough time with friends and family. It’s just because I am secure when it comes to friends, avoidant towards family and fearful avoidant with partners.

Sounds messy right? Yes it is. I have been trying to dig into the root causes of all the sufferings I have in life. I am on the right path.

I can give a brief summary on what I’ve learned from my relationships for these past 2 years.

1. I am and was a Fearful avoidant, that means I have a lots of traumas tied to my identity (just found out lately) (Its a long and painful journey I didn’t sign up for)

2. In my last relationship, I wanted to love deeply for the first time, so I tried to become the best version of myself (at that time). I came from heavily leaning avoidant to leaning anxious 💀. It was beyond miserable being constantly worried about every damn thing. But well it’s necessary for my growth.

3. I pride myself for being independent and “I don’t need anyone” so in my last relationship I had an identity crisis because I felt like shit when I cared too much. I was constantly trying to break up in my mind.

4. Thorough that process, I learned and fucked up and learned (the second biggest lesson was choose your source of information wisely or it’ll mess with your peace). There were days I was tortured by my thoughts to the point I couldn’t fucking sleep. I had to ask my now best friend (Quy) for help or else I could for real died of mental exhaustion.

5. The biggest achievement from that 14month-ish relationship was the ability to feel my feelings, to start to open up, to self-soothe, to accept my emotions instead of pushing them away, shutting them down, to be more (from nothing so somewhat) straightforward.

6. He was a good many in almost every aspect. Just inappropriate from my perspective. And we were not compatible. But I loved him that’s for sure. The first time I knew what love was.

7. We broke up and I was single for nearly 2 months. False, I didn’t rush into a relationship, my now boyfriend pursued me too hard and I didn’t want to miss a good man.

8. I was so secure when I’m not attached. But as soon as I’m no longer detached, the trigger is pulled. This partner triggers a new part of me. A full blown Fearful Avoidant. If I was 70% Anxious Preoccupied 30% Fearful Avoidant with my ex, I am 97% Fearful Avoidant and 3% Anxious Preoccupied now.

9. If I have to describe FA in 1 word?: Distrust. For AP, I am sorry I cannot remember its far gone lol, maybe Anxiously Spiral.

10. Yeah, I have been dealing with FA to no avail. When its triggered, it attacks me fast and hard until I cannot breathe. I want to sabotage everything and run.

11. Lucky me, I accidentally found out about Bottom up therapy. I’m on my very first step to learn about it. Have been using Polyvagal yawning method 2 times to calm my FA down and it worked in under 5 fucking minutes. Yes CBT worked like a charm for my AP, but it doesn’t do shit for my FA.

Happy healing, I’ll update more.

❤️

0 notes

jelvis · 2 years ago

Text

Rent-A-Boyfriend

Sam is in desperate need of a date for Christmas. After 22 years of being single, this is his chance to prove that he’s more than just a pretty face and a brain full of knowledge. Danny is in desperate need of cash before he spends New Years on the street. It’s a match made in heaven.

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x Danny Wagner

Word count: 3.1k

“I don’t get it,” Danny sighed. “I just paid you rent. By my counts, I’m ahead by three months.”

“I’m sorry. Mr. Wagner. It’s explicitly detailed in your lease. You have a three month grace period for your light bill. If you don’t pay what you owe in full by January 1st, you’re on the street.”

“It’s winter! There has to be some kind of law against that.”

“I truly feel for you. I do,” his landlord muttered, “but you’re only behind five hundred dollars. Happy holidays!”

“Happy holidays,” he mumbled, slamming the door to his apartment after the landlord had walked away. He furiously sat down on his couch, grabbing one of his throw pillows and screaming into it. He only had two weeks to come up with $500. There was absolutely no way he would be able to get that kind of money in that short amount of time.

It was while he was thinking of ways to come up with ways to earn cash when the thought of his parents entered his mind. They had always said that if he was ever in dire straits that they would lend him an amount he needed. But, Daniel had vowed to himself the moment they made that offer that he would never take it. It wasn’t that he was too proud, he just knew how hard they worked and he would feel bad taking away from them. And, if he was being honest, he wanted to prove to himself that he could make it on his own. But, as time was beginning to tell, he clearly couldn’t.

Setting the pillow to the side, Danny sighed and picked up his phone to search for possible ways to get money fast. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he also didn’t like the results. The majority of them involved selling his body and that definitely was not on the table.

A new frustration burning in his veins, he closed out google and instead went to facebook seeing that his sister just posted. Before he had seen the picture Josie posted, he scrolled past a post from one of his old neighbors across the street that was advertising that she was offering to cook Christmas dinner for anyone that was willing to pay. At the time he didn’t think much of it. Instead, he just scrolled past and searched for Josie’s page. It wasn’t until later that he put the thought together - selling himself and Christmas dinner. It was stupid and also a huge bruise to his dignity, but he was desperate to make the money and he had very very limited options.

Biting the bullet, Daniel opened up Craigslist on his phone and created his post advertising himself as a Boyfriend For Hire.

Need a hot boyfriend for the holidays? I’m all you need. I’ll cook, clean, and help your mom with the dishes after dinner. I have nothing against a little PDA and maybe something more if you treat me right. Give me a ring and we’ll talk.

Closing his eyes, he hit the publish button and turned off his phone. With his exhaustion finally hitting him full force, Daniel took a shower and went to bed. He had long forgotten about the post he made and it would be quite the rude awakening for him the next morning.

+++

“Bringing someone this year?” Josh asked, placing a freshly frosted cookie onto the tray. He went in for another, using his other hand to smack Jake’s hand away.

“Ouch!” Jake snipped, redirecting his attention to Sam. “Yeah, kid, mom wants a head count.”

Sam looked at his brothers. It happens every year. Every December since he turned seventeen, he would be asked the same question: are you bringing a date to Christmas dinner? He ignored the question, sliding the warm cooking onto the cooling rack.

“Look!” Jake smirked, nudging his older brother. “His ears are turning red.”

Josh joined in on the childish teasing. “No one you’re going to drag under the mistletoe?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “I will when I’m good and ready.”

“That’s what losers say when they can’t get a date.”

“I have a date!” Sam defended, already regretting the words leaving his mouth. “He’s great!”

“But is he coming to dinner?” Jake teased.

Sam pulled his phone out, pressing a random contact.

“This number has been disconnected.”

“Hey!” Sam said coolly. “How do you feel about coming to dinner? It’s this weekend.” He listened to the droning of the dial tone. “Of course. Seven. Amazing, I’ll text you my address. Love you.” He slid his phone into his pocket. “He’s coming now.”

Josh raised his eyebrows, placing a gumdrop on a cookie. “I guess you’re more grown up than we thought.”

“He can sit right next to me,” Jake smiled. “What’s his name, anyway? I want to know what to write on the place cards.”

The hair on Sam’s neck stood. “Jeff.”

“Jeff…?” He waved his hands. “You need to give me something else to work with.”

“Jeff Giiii-” He tried to think but the only name that came to mind was Gillooly, the ex-husband of Tonya Harding. “Jeff,” he spotted Jake’s guitar case, “Gibson! Jeffery Gibson.”

“Jacob Thom- if you don’t stop eating my cookies, I swear to god.”

“Watch this!”

“Not my gumdrop buttons!” Josh cried, chasing after his brother with the spatula. This left Sam alone to think about his actions and the pickle he found himself in.

Scrolling through Facebook, Sam tried to think of a way to keep his integrity and fake a boyfriend coming to dinner. Weather wouldn’t be an acceptable lie as there hadn’t been a snowfall in a few days and there wasn’t one expected until after the holidays. Maybe a sudden illness. It would come off as too convenient and he would never hear the end of it. He checked through the local newsfeed. He learned of the tree lighting ceremony and the successful canned food drive. The idea hit him. The resume section looked promising. He scrolled through them, glancing over them. All of them advertised different skills. One near the bottom of the page caught his eye. It had been posted a little over a week ago. Sam sat up, letting his eyes focus on the screen to make sure he read it right.

“Need a hot boyfriend for the holidays?” He read in a hushed tone. “Oh god, this is what I’m going to do, isn’t it?” He clicked on the photo file, praying it wasn’t a virus. “Well, he’s not hideous.”

Sam sighed, clicking on the highlighted phone number at the bottom of the ad. Of course he’d have to resort to a stranger on the internet.

+++

“Daniel?” Sam asked, nearing the table in the middle of Starbucks.

The man stood up. “Yes? Are you Sam?”

“Yes. Can we talk about the whole… arrangement?”

Danny motioned for him to sit. The two of them sat for a moment, neither wanting to start first. Danny had a list of things that were on the table, off the table, and negotiable. Sam also had his own list, but first came the why. Sam looked at Danny. He’s handsome, tall, and well groomed. He could have anyone he wanted, so why was he here advertising himself as a holiday hoe. He recognized him, vaguely.

“Did you ever go to Wallworth College?”

Danny nodded. “I graduated two years ago. Do you go there?”

“Yeah. I graduated last week. I start grad school in January.”

Danny had his fair share of questions. Sam had a nice smile and a good head of hair. He couldn’t figure out why Sam would need a date for Christmas when he could have asked anyone on the street.

Sam chuckled. “I don’t know how to ask, but what are you asking for in return?”

“Three fifty, minimum,” Danny said. “And before you let your mind wander, I need it to pay my bills. The line about treating me right in the ad was just for attention. I don’t feel comfortable with a stranger.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Good. I just need you for one dinner and that’s it.”

“What do you want me to do? Cuddle you in front of the fire? Make someone jealous? I gotta have something to work with.”

“I’ve never brought someone home for christmas and I’m sick of my brothers picking on me for it.”

“Okay, so you need the basic package.”

“... I guess? Here’s my address.” Sam handed him an envelope. “There’s one hundred in there and I can have the rest after dinner.”

Danny rifled through the envelope. “What’s all this?”

“And your name is Jeffrey Gibson.”

“My name Jeff,” Danny quoted, laughing extremely hard as Sam’s chest went warm at the sound. He noticed that Sam was not amused. “You’ve never seen 22 Jump Street? Channing Tatum? Jonah Hill?”

Sam blinked. “We need to focus, Jeff.”

“You’ve really never seen it?”

Sam closed his eyes as he set his jaw. It didn’t matter how cute Danny was, they had a job to do and there was no time for distractions.

“Memorize the index cards. It’s everything important you need. Text me when you get to my house.”

+++

Sam felt his stomach turn all day. He’d been terrified that Daniel wouldn’t show. Dinner started in less than an hour. The more the grandfather clock in the hall clicked, the more he feared the stranger from Craigslist had run off with his money. Instead, the doorbell rang twice. Sam perked up, seeing a mop of curly black hair peeking through the window beside the door. He opened it.

“I told you to text me.”

Danny frowned, holding two wrapped boxes. “What?”

“I told you to text me when you came to the driveway so we cou-”

“Sammy!” Jake shouted, leaning on his older brother. “Let your boyfriend in, it’s cold!”

Danny gingerly stepped into the house. Josh took the two gifts, thanking him quietly before setting them beneath the tree. Josh returned to Danny peeling his coat from his shoulders. “I’m Josh and this is Jake.”

“Daniel Wagner, but you can call me Danny,” he grinned, shaking Jake’s hand.

Sam’s eyes widened as his plan was beginning to fall apart. “What are you talking about, Jeff?”

Danny shrugged. “I go by Jeff on campus, silly,” he booped his nose, “We’re not on campus, are we, darling?”

“I guess not,” Sam said, his smile straining as they were already floundering despite the night just starting.

Josh stared at the guest curiously. “So, Daniel, why ‘Jeff’?”

“Middle name. My full name is Daniel Robert Jeffery Gibson Wagner.” He looked over at the ornaments on the tree. “It’s a mouthful, I know, but so am I. Sam knows.”

Jake’s eyes widened as he laughed awkwardly. Sam smacked his “boy toy’s” arm. “Tell them what you really mean.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “Personality wise, I’m a handful. My name is a mouth full. I’m just always full, right Sammy? Speaking of full, I know it’s rude to ask, but it was a long drive and I’m starving.”

“Ma!” Josh shouted. “Daniel is hungry!”

“Who is Daniel?”

“Me, ma’am,” Danny said, raising his hand. He offered her what he knew was a charming smile and made sure to really turn it up to 11.

“Oh.” Mrs. Kiska looked at her youngest son. “I thought you were bringing J- Oh, is this something- Sam, you didn’t. I raised you better than that.”

“I am Jeff, ma’am. It’s a middle name.”

She placed a hand to her chest. “Thank god. I knew I didn’t raise a cheater.”

Sam looked down at his own shoes for a moment. “Yeah, um, well. This is Daniel, my boyfriend.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she shook his hand. “Dinner will be ready in a little bit. I sent Sammy to the store earlier and that set me back. Go ahead and make yourselves comfortable.”

The Kiszkas all took their respective seats at the table, joking about. Danny silently excused himself, stepping into the kitchen. “Do you need any help, Mrs. Kiszka?”

She looked back at him for a moment. “Do you really want to help or do you feel obligated to help?”

He thought of his answer carefully. “I really want to help.”

Sam worried at the thought of Danny alone in the kitchen with his mother. Who knows what they’d talk about. What if he told her the truth? He stood up, quickly seated as Danny walked in behind Mrs. Kiszka, his hands in mitts and carrying the ham. “Dinner is almost ready!” He grinned.

Danny sat back down between Jake and Sam. Veronica and her date, Blaine, took their spots. Mr. Kiszka finally made his appearance, coming in from helping a neighbor with last minute decorations. Pleasantries were exchanged and dinner was finally served. Everyone passed the bowls around, taking their turns with bits of conversation.”

Ronnie smiled at Danny. “I’m dying to know how you guys met. Sam’s so serious all the time.”

Danny chuckled. He tried, really tried, to remember the cards but Sam’s chicken scrawl was far too squished to read. “The campus health clinic, we were getting supplies at the same time and our hands touched in the bowl.”

Mr. Kiszka smiled. “My boy’s got game.”

“Oh, yes he does,” Danny confirmed. “He’s the sweetest. Our first date, he took us to the carnival.”

Mrs. Kiszka audibly gushed at the thought of her most stoic son breaking down for someone. Sam’s face burned as he chewed his food. He hadn’t had any of this in the cards. According to what he’d written, they’d met in the library and had their first date going to the art museum. Danny spun wild tales of the two of them spending hours talking and going to places that Sam wouldn’t be caught dead in. He stayed quiet for most of it.

Danny hadn’t even noticed he was mostly talking out of his ass. He was so nervous even though he’d never see this family again. Living well over an hour away, he had nothing to worry about. Sam nudged him after dessert, glaring at the door. Danny excused himself a minute or so after Sam left the table.

“What the hell was that?” Sam demanded. “You’re spouting absolute bull and you know it.”

“What do you mean?” Danny asked. “Your family is eating it up. You’re welcome.”

“You had one job and that was to memorize the fucking cards and what did you do? You went completely off the rails and now you have my entire family in love with you.”

“...Am I supposed to apologize for being devastatingly charming?”

Sam groaned. “I-”

“Uh oh, look who’s under the mistletoe!” Mrs. Kiszka shouted out gleefully, a wide grin on her face as her cheeks were flushed from the wine she was drinking.

Sam and Danny both paused their bickering as their gazes slowly drifted upwards. Sam internally winced as he realized exactly which door frame they were standing beneath. He had made an effort all night to try and avoid this spot and it seemed that he forgot while his mind focused on arguing. He panicked and searched his brain desperately for a way out of the situation. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to kiss Daniel - he was stupidly attractive and, yeah, maybe he had thought about kissing him but they were fake dating and boyfriends kiss. But he also didn’t want to put Danny in a bad position, so that meant looking for any and every possible out of the situation.

“Well, mom, it’s actually wisteria-”

Sam was given absolutely no warning before he felt Daniel’s lips against his. He hadn’t even realized that his hands had come up to rest on Daniel’s sides or that he was reciprocating until he heard someone clear their throat. Pulling away from one another, Sam looked over to see that his entire family had been gawking at them, his sister trying very hard to contain her laughter. His face felt hot and he couldn’t even begin to try and blame the wine he had drank.

“If you two are done, I’d like to go throw up, now,” Jake stated, turning on his heel and walking down the hallway.

“That’s homophobic, Jake!” Sam yelled after him, leaning over Danny’s shoulder to do so because the pair hadn’t let go of one another.

In response, Jake just flipped him off as he continued towards the bathroom. Mrs. Kiszka disappeared back into the dining room. Sam waited for a moment before pulling his wallet from his back pocket.

“I think it’s best if you leave,” Sam snapped. He handed Danny the rest of what he owed him.

“You’re right. I wouldn’t want to upset you more.”

Ronnie poked her head out of the door. “Join us for Uno, boys?”

“Regrettably, I have to bow out,” Danny said. “Rain check, right?”

Sam’s older sister nodded. “Sure thing. See you on New Years?”

“Maybe.” Danny shot Sam a glare before storming out.

Sam crossed his arms, huffing. If there was any explanation as to why he never brought anyone over for the holidays, it was this.

+++

After the Christmas debacle and avoiding questions on New Years about where his lovely boyfriend had disappeared to, Sam finally felt like he was in control. He had a fresh haircut and a new start at Oakhurst University. He’s beginning his master’s and he felt good about his life.

Danny walked into work feeling like a new man. He’d paid off his debts and had a lovely rest of his break with his family. He no longer had a fear of being evicted and set up his bills on autopay. He made his way to his first classroom of the day.

“Good morning, class. This is advanced microbiology,” he said. He adjusted his tie, glancing around the room. “I’m Professor Wagner, officially. You can call me Danny. If you’ll open your emails, I just sent out the syllabus.” He opened his laptop. “Roll call.”

“Martin Alley,” he said, beginning the alphabet. His brain acted on autopilot, nodding to each ‘here’ called out. “Sa-Samuel? Samuel Kiska?”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Sam grumbled under his breath. “Here!”

Danny finished the alphabet. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from his fake ex-boyfriend sitting in the back of the classroom. “I know you’re all dying to leave. Just read the syllabus and come back Wednesday ready to take notes.

The class quickly filed out. Sam lingered for a moment.

“Are you going to drop my class?” Professor Wagner asked, barely looking at his only pupil in the room.

“Required for my major. I’ll see you on Wednesday, Jeff.”

#sammy gvf #sanny gvf #danny gvf #daniel wagner #sam kiszka #sammy kiszka #gretavanfleet #greta van fic #danny wagner

44 notes · View notes

imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend · 2 years ago

Text

I’ll Take Care of You, Chapter 26: Flight

Been too long, I know. I’m sorry.

Happy new year!

Fic Summary: Reader works in the hospital where Billy Russo keeps his mother. They’ve caught each other’s eye. But she thinks he is the devoted son… little does she know what hides behind a handsome face and expensive suits.

Posted on my ao3 as well :)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Fem!Nurse!Reader

Chapter Summary: Billy keeps his promise and lets you call your friend

Warnings: swearing, being held against will,

Words: 1.4k

Masterlist ~~ Chapter 25

From his spot on the couch, Billy had dialed whoever was holding your friend at Anvil, told him to give the phone to your friend, and then handed you his phone. You went to Curtis’s room to have some privacy.

“Hi, it's me.”

Your friend cried when she heard your voice over the phone. She couldn’t even formulate words at first. It made your throat close up and tears well in your eyes, but you did your best not to break down.

"I'm okay, babes. And you're going to be too." You said.

"Oh thank God, you got away. But… but how are you calling me if you're not with him?"

That felt like a gut-punch.

"I'm still with Billy." You said after a beat.

Dead silence, then, "What?"

"Listen, we talked things through-"

"You're kidding, right? You're not telling me you talked things out with a murderer and that you're staying with him." Her tone was that of utter disbelief.

"I know it might be hard to believe, but he regrets his actions in the past. And he's changed. He's not going to be like that anymore. He promised me he's giving it up."

She laughed. It wasn't a nice laugh. "You can't be serious right now. I thought you were smarter than this. I don't know how he's got you fooled."

"He doesn't have me fooled." You tried not to snap at her, but you didn't like being insulted. You needed her to know that this is what you wanted and that you were going to be okay.

"I can't believe that. I told you what he’s done, and that’s probably not even the half of it. I don't know why you aren't biting and screaming and clawing your way away from him."

"He… hasn’t done anything to hurt me. He loves me. And I love him." You said simply. "I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Maybe it's not smart to forgive him of his past. But I want him to be happy, and I want to be happy. And that means we're staying together."

“Is he forcing you to say this? Has he hurt you or threatened you? Has he threatened to do something to me?”

“I’m fine! He’s going to let you go when we’re safe. He’s done nothing but keep me safe. And I’m saying this of my own free will. I know it’s complicated, but it’s what I want and need. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know it’s a lot to take in-” you said.

“It’s too much!”

“I’m sorry that this is hard for you, but I’m staying with him.”

"I can't imagine he's going to stay in the U.S. And if you go with him, you may as well be aiding and abetting a fugitive.

"I'm not aiding or abetting him." You scoffed.

"Then don't go with him."

You didn't say anything.

She sighed in frustration at your silence. "I don't understand this, babes. I'm sure he's not really going to let you get away from him anyway. I can make it out to be that you're a hostage."

"What do you mean? I'm not a hostage.”

"Well, as much as I'm okay with DHS going after your criminal boyfriend, I don't want to see your name on a most-wanted list."

"I don't understand."

"I love you too, Y/N. I'm going to protect you the best I can even though I think you're being an idiot."

Your throat clenched again. "What?"

"I don't even think you're really on Homeland's radar. Sure, they know Billy is dating you. But they don't think he'd involve you in this. If your name ever pops up, I'll do my best to make you seem innocent."

"You don't have to do that."

"Well, I'm sure I'll never see you again. So if this is what I have to do, then I'm gonna do it." She choked on sobbed.

Tears streamed down your cheeks. "Well, I love you, too!"

She laughed then, and sniffled. "I hope I'll see you again someday, babes."

You sniffled too. "Me too. I really do."

You hung up before you really started to sob.

You turned around and saw Billy leaning against the door frame. You wiped at your cheeks. “What are you doing up?”

“Wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You sniffled. “I’m fine.” You walked over to him and handed him his cellphone. “Thank you for letting me call her.”

“You’re welcome, baby girl.” He put his phone in his pocket. “Are you sure you’re okay.”

You nodded. “I will be.”

“Okay. Come on. We gotta get going.”

You nodded again. “Okay. I really wish you’d let yourself rest more, though.”

“We don’t have time for that.”

“Fine. But then I’m driving.”

Billy raised an eyebrow at you. “Is that so.”

“Yup. We just pulled a bullet out of you. You’re probably high on the pain meds.”

“I am not high.”

“Well, there’s no way I’m letting you drive.”

“You think you can handle the Wraith?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I can handle you; I think I can handle anything.”

Billy bit his lip. “You behind the wheel of my car is gonna be hot as fuck.”

You shook your head, a smile tugging at your lips. “You’re ridiculous.”

He grinned. “Let’s go, then. I’ll give you directions.”

“One second.” You went back into the kitchen and wrote ‘Thank you’ on a sticky note and stuck it on Curtis’s fridge.

“You’re such a sweet girl.” Billy purred into your ear. He had come up behind you.

“Well, he did save my boyfriend’s life. And I’d never even met him before.” You turned around and gave him a pointed look.

He grinned and leaned down to steal a kiss. Then he handed you the keys. “Here you go, Driver.”

“Thank you. Let’s go.”

***

Billy had led you put of the building, one hand over his abdomen and the other holding his gun. No one was waiting to ambush you anywhere in Curtis’s building, or outside by the car.

You kept checking your mirrors, but it didn’t seem like any cars were following you. You also kept looking over at Billy, but he seemed fine. He told you which streets to take, when to turn, also once telling you to take it easy on the acceleration.

Now, you were pulling into a private hanger, and there was a private jet sitting right out in front of it. There were other cars in the hanger, and Jack was waiting by one of them.

He walked over to the two of you as you got out of the car.

“Nice to see you, Miss Y/L/N.”

“See you’re not dead.” Was all you offered back.

You looked over at Billy and he was shaking his head with a smirk.

Jack looked at you sincerely. “Thanks for taking care of the boss.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and looked away.

Billy came up to you and put an arm around your shoulders and pulled you against him to press a kiss to your cheek. “She’s the best little nurse.” Billy said affectionately.

You tried to fight the heat creeping up your neck and cheeks.

“Okay. We’re late enough as it is. What did you manage to bring?” Billy asked Jack.

“Not much. Just what was already in the car.”

��Okay. Not perfect, but better than nothing.” He looked at you. “Sorry, baby girl. Looks like you’re getting a new wardrobe.”

“Whatever.” You sighed.

Billy gave you a tight-lipped smile. “Ever flown before?” he changed the subject.

“Just domestically.”

“Well, get ready for international, baby!” he grinned.

You gave him a little smile back, and let him take your hand and lead you away.

Billy let go of your hand and let you go up the little staircase to the jet. It was really fancy, the most luxurious thing you had ever seen. Like Billy’s Wraith but a jet. It had single seats, and one long couch. You took a seat, and Billy sat across from you.

He was watching you carefully. “Are you okay?”

Were you? You were just about to flee your country. It was a lot to take in. Almost too much. But you knew Billy would take care of you. It was just scary.

“It’s just a lot.” You said quietly.

Billy looked at you sympathetically. “I know, baby. But I’ll take care of you. Just like you’ve done for me.”

You smiled softly. “I know you will.”

Author’s note: Yeah I’m sorry this is so short and took so long. I hope this was okay.

Taglist:

@quellmythirst @princess-miaa @catherinnn @kahlanmars @tnrthings @loubombshell @slut4benbarnes @thewriterthatghostedyou @adriennebarnes @nothinkingonlycrying @whattheforks @musicalggirl @bxtchopolis @restingbitchsblog @nerds4life246 @hydrogen-in-our-veins @insssanemind @thegreengoop @springtimesimmer @dragon-of-winterfell @misscaitygrace @sweetwritingfanficfriend @asgardian-sapphire @kayleev-07 @misshall14 @kayhi808

Chapter 27

#i'll take care of you #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #billy russo x you #billy russo #the punisher #the punisher fanfic #fanfiction

34 notes · View notes

iwadori · 4 years ago

Text

When they neglect you for another girl Part 4 (Sakusa)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

Word Count: 2.6K

Genre: Angst to Fluff

masterlist

AN: YES I DID PUT MYSELF IN THIS STORY! SUE ME. This is basically inspired by a random conversation i had w the great @teesumu, so this is basically for you doll <3

Sakusa:

You and Sakusa have been together for a around 10 years and love eachother immensly.

However recently Sakusa has been busy and you havent really had much time together lately as he claims been busy doing loads of visits with his new agent.

But of course, being the loving partner you are you wanted to revive the spark in your relationship.

You have been seeing a lot of people on social media posting their aesthetic ‘picnic dates,’ and you knew that this was something that appealed to you before it was ‘on trend.’ Kiyoomi immediately came to your mind once you had the idea of going on a date. You knew that you haven’t be around each other lately, as Kiyoomi always had either a ‘meeting’ or some sort of ‘interview’ that his new agent “Empress” has set up for him.

You didn’t really know Empress that well, just that she was ‘good at her job,’ a ‘hard and dilligent worker,’ and a ‘raging hottie’ with Atsumu’s opinion being the last one. You weren’t suspecting her to have any malicious intent towards you or Kiyoomi, since you knew that he had a great judge of character. But it was just odd, that every time Kiyoomi was running late or having ‘super-secret’ conversations on the phone it was always because ‘my agent set up this,’ ‘my agent set up that,’ and that’s what left you a bit wary.

As you were scrolling through your phone you see a calendar updating saying : Next Week‘ A DECADE AGO WE FELL IN LOVE.’

10 years. How could you forget? You and Omi have literally been together for a decade. You think back to the decade of madness and love you’ve been through together, smiling fondly to yourself but then you think about where you are now... barely even talking to each other, only mainly seeing him when he comes home from work.

You need to fix this. Or at least make an attempt to get you and Kiyoomi talking again. So, the only thing you can do, is plan that picnic.

You spent the rest of the day planning your anniversary picnic. ’It’s going to be great,’ you think to yourself, you have a list of all Omi’s favorite foods you're going to make him and bring and you are probably going to pick up a few board games and maybe even get some paint supplies. You and Kiyoomi used to paint a lot together, with the two of you not being the best of painters, but you enjoyed eachothers company non the less.

Everything was sorted...for the most part. All you needed to do was get Omi there, and it’ll all be okay. Right? As you were bubbling and looking for more picnic inspo, you hear your front door open which made you even more excited to tell your boyfriend your plans.

As you rush to go greet him, you see he’s on the phone making you roll your eyes. “No Empress it won’t work, we need this sorted by next week. Okay? Next week.” he says in an agitated way. He hangs up the phone and sighs, shoving off his duffel bag.

“Hey Omi, how was your day?” you say a bit hesitant, noticing his annoyed mood.

“Fine” He said dismissively, aiming to walk past you aiming for your bedroom.

“Oh well I have something amazing planned for ne-” you try to say following after him.

“Can we not do this right now Y/N,” he says again turning too look at you making you frown a bit, all you wanted to do is surprise him with your plans and have a day out with him. After noticing your sad look he finishes with “it’s just that Empress she’s bee-”

“I don’t want to hear about her.” you say bitterly folding your arms, Empress is the last person you want to hear about right now “God Omi can’t you just care about me? For once.”

“I do I-”

“You don’t anymore,” you say, with all the emotions and feelings you’ve been just supressing from a while coming up. You don’t even know how you got from point A to B with this conversation, but there's no stopping now. “I feel that, for a while now we haven’t been how we were before when we were just Y/N and Kiyoomi. Instead of how we are now. Just Y/N. Then Kiyoomi and Empress.”

After hearing his agents name, Kiyoomi’s name contorts to confusion “Empress? What does she have to do with anything?”

“How can you not see? For the past month all it’s been is ‘Empress this’ ‘Empress that,’” you complain “Having your super secret conversations with her, like god Kiyoomi can’t you see a problem with this?”

“It’s not like that Y/N, we’re just work partners” he says looking a bit annoyed “Just business.”

“Just business? So Kiyoomi, what were you talking about on the phone earlier” you say with your voice slight accusingly.

“Umm I, I can’t really say?” he says more of a question then a fully assured statement. You squint your eyes at him and scoff.

“What is going on with you Omi?” you say “are you cheating on me with her is that it?”

“No, no of course not Y/N! How could you even ask that?” he frowned at your question making your chest hurt, since deep down you knew he could never do that to you. Could he?

“Well tell me then, what were you talking about?” you ask again.

“I can’t say..” he finishes

“Well I can’t stay.” you say and his face goes back to confusion “Here. With you.”

“What do you mean Y/-”

“I need a break or something. I just can’t be here right now.” You start to rush and pack a big of things whilst Kiyoomi just stands there.

After you pack up your stuff, you look back and see Kiyoomi just there. Standing. You were upset, you kind of wanted him to rush after you and beg you not to leave, but he was just there. Standing. So you put the hand on the door and just before you leave you turn back and say “bye Sakusa, see you later?” to which you see him slightly nod at.

When the door shut, Kiyoomi starts to cry. After hearing you call him by his last name really twisted the knife that was already in his heart. You haven’t called him that since you were like 15. He knew what you wanted; he knew you wanted him to rush towards you and beg you not to leave, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. But what he could do is call the one person he only could call.

After a few rings, he hears “What do you need Saku?”

“She’s gone, she left.”

“What do you mean she’s gone, did you tell her?”

“No I didn’t tell her. And that’s the problem, Empress she think-”

“Saku, don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.”

“You’ll handle it?”

“Don’t I always?”

He couldn’t argue with that, he just had to trust that Empress could sort it. “And also, don’t spend the week with your head up your ass crying, you’ve got a lot of grovelling to do kiddo.”

He nodded even though she couldn’t see him, as he knew that what just went down needed to be resolved, fast.

Meanwhile, on your end. You’re a mess. Sobbing all the time, tissues are your best friend, you’ve been waiting just waiting for a message or a call, or some form of communication. You just wanted to feel wanted by your boyfriend (can you even call him that now.)

You spent the rest of the week at your parents, immersing yourself in your work and doing ‘self care’ things, trying to forget all about the argument you and Kiyoomi had.

One day, you receive a letter, it wasn’t delivered by a mail man though. It was slid under your door, in a golden envelope sealed with a red hot wax seal. It read:

‘Dear Y/N,

My sweetheart, im sorry for how the week has been and I know a letter with only a fraction of how I feel won’t make up for how I acted that day. But im inviting you to join me at the Gardenia Botanical Gardens at 2 pm tommorow, to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.

I know there is a big chance, you may not want to see me and I understand but please. I love you, so so much, that words can’t even describe. But I need you to see me apologise and I need to make it up to you.

I hope to see you there, I’d wait the whole day for you. If you don’t show, I understand.

Sincerely, Sakusa Kiyoomi

P.S The theme is ‘summer hot day, tea with the queen’ - Atsumu’

You smile at the letter, but wonder if you should actually go or not. You did want to see him of course and get this all resolved, but you had your own plans for your anniversary which wouldn’t of been spoiled if he didn’t withhold his super-secret phone calls.

It took you hours to contemplate on what to do, but you decided to just sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow. In the morning, you knew what you wanted to do. Of course, you had to go, at least to hear him out and see if he really did cheat on you or not. For all you know he’s inviting you to tell you that he’s going to run away with his agent and his secret kids they had together. You shook the negative thoughts from your head and just repeated your mantra ‘hope for the best and prepare for the worst.’

When you got there, you didn’t exactly know where he would be but he said ‘botanical gardens’ so of course you decided to just wander around there. It was nice walking around and just smelling the roses, and seeing the pretty scenery.

“Excuse me ma’am,” you hear someone say tugging on your leg “um that mister over there told me to give you these.” Looking down, you see a small boy who looked about the age of four with a crumpled up bunch of roses handing them to you.

“Oh thank you,” you say giving the kid a head pat “where is this ‘mister’ might I ask?”

“He’s over there!” The kid pointed behind him and you look to see Kiyoomi sitting under a white gazebo which is surrounded in your favorite flowers and the table is filled with food.

You walk over to your ‘boyfriend,’ with him not noticing your present yet. When you reach him you say “I think she stood you up buddy,” you joke making him jump abit startled.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, instantly beaming “You came you made it!” he stood up and pulled you into a hug, which you return before you remember why you came here in the first place.

“Oh I-” he says awkwardly

You decide to sit down pulling him down with you. You kind of sit there in uncomfortable silence, for a while until you both say.

“So I-”

“What are yo-”

You both laughed at your simultaneous comments, before Kiyoomi looks at you letting you speak. “What did you want to bring me here for?”

“I didn’t want, what happened last week to happen Y/N I-” he says looking a bit panicked “It wasn’t supposed to go this way.”

“Then how was it meant to go Sakusa.”

“Y/N, please don’t call me that, I know I made you upset but pleas-” he starts before getting distracted again “Y/N, I called you here to say a few things..”

“Them being.?” you ask a bit impatiently.

“I love you. I love you so much, you don’t even understand. Ever since I saw you at my volleyball game in our first year, in the stands just cheering us on. I knew that from that day, after I scored the winning point and our eyes met, that we were destined to be together. I just love you so much Y/N”

“Omi I don’t understand I-”

“Just let me finish please, It’s taken a while for me to say this. And trust me, there’s been so many times when I wanted to just say ‘hey Y/N let’s get married,’ but I couldn’t I was scared, and I wanted it to be perfect, so perfect. Because you deserve the world Y/N. That’s why I got Empress to help, I know that our conversations may seem odd, but I love you and she knows that she just wanted to help trust me. And she did, all this wouldn’t of been done if it wasn’t for her. But anyways Y/N what I waned to say was I love you and I love you and I-” he rambles on loosing track of his words.

But in the midst of his speech, you hear all that you needed and responded with the only way you can.

“Yes.” you say simply, with a growing smile on your face.

“Yes?” he repeats confused “What do you meann ye- ohhh" Kiyoomi blushes embarrased that after all that he ended up ruining the thought out proposal he wanted to give you with his ramble.

“Im sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to say it like that I wanted it to be perfect and I-”

You shut him up with a kiss making his eyes widen as he reciprocates it anyways.

“What did she say?” you hear someone shout from a far, and you look over to see the MSBY Jackals all standing there with shit eating grins on their faces.

“I said yes!” you yell back, to which they all cheer and rush towards you guys giving you both hugs and slapping Kiyoomi on the back.

As the boys celebrate Omi finnally do what he’s been planning for ages, you get approached by Empress who awkwardly walks up to you. “ I didn’t want to leave the impression that me and Saku were any sort of thing?” she says

“Yeah I think it was definitely a big misunderstanding, it’s just that Omi was never around and whenever he was he was just talking to you and you know how it is.”

“I definitely know, I’d feel the same way if my boyfriend did that to me.”

“Oooh boyfriend?” you ask her feeling nosey on her romantic life.

“Yeah boyfriend. You know iwaizumi hajime... the trainer?” she says smiling a bit when she said his name.

“The trainer! Nice.”

The rest of the night was fun and was basically an engagement party for you and Omi all you and friends just partying and celebrating yours and Omi’s love for each other. “Omi” you say getting his attention “Happy ten year anniversary babe”

“Happy anniversary, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

After the party you spend your months now planning for a big fat wedding, with the help of your new found bestie, Empress (who you obviously misjudged from the start.) You and Omi could never be happier, every thing was back to how it was before, maybe even better. And you definitely spent at least two Saturdays a month going out for picnics and it was now a tradition in your relationship, so in the end you did get your ‘aesthetic picnic date.’

AN: WHAT DID U GUYS THINK??

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyuu fluff #sakusa x you #sakusa headcanons #haikyu angst #sakusa fluff #sakusa x reader #sakusa oneshot #haikyu sakusa #signedwithane😌

1K notes · View notes

reverie-starlight · 2 years ago

Note

OKAY- so you know the song “baby it’s cold outside”? I was thinking that maybe if it’s okay with you of course, to write a pre-Timeskip Osamu miya x f! Reader, inspired around that song, not entirely about that song.

So Osamu and reader have been dating for quite some time now, and it’s their first Christmas as a couple, so Osamu being an absolute sweetheart he is, he invites his gf over for Christmas because her parents are overseas for work and can’t make it in time for Christmas.

So the two yk just like hangout and make snowman’s together or smth like that, yk Christmas activities. I won’t be to specific with the activities so u can choose them, but at one point I do want atsumu to be like third wheeling and being an absolutely annoying person constantly mocking them with like kissy sounds.

I understand if you don’t want to write this, but ty for your time <33 I hope your having a great day! -anon

ohhh anon this is adorable!! I’m sorry I’m posting it so long after you sent it in but I wanted to save it for Christmas!! And then I realized that the whole week would be insanely busy so enjoy it as my first work of the new year! I decided to keep it GN!reader as well, I hope that’s alright with you <3

(And I hope you’ll forgive me extra because in my excitement to write this I totally missed the “pre-timeskip” part I’m so sorry- everything else is included though!!)

GN!reader

warnings: timeskip spoilers kinda?? Other than that, none! just pure fluff, atsumu third wheeling and being a menace, you and atsumu annoying each other, lots of winter activities, wholesomeness, aside from one very tiny suggestive bonus scene at the end <3

{Baby it’s Cold Outside- M. Osamu}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come in, let me help ya with the bags.”

You stumbled into Osamu’s apartment and happily let him take some of your things. “Thank you, baby.”

He gave you a minute to settle in the front hall and take your winter gear off before taking the heavier things and leading you to his room. “I’m so happy yer able to stay here for the next little while. I mean, obviously it really sucks that yer parents couldn’t make it home in time, but I’m looking forward to this year.”

You grinned at him. “I’m looking forward to our first holiday season together, too, Samu.”

The whole reason you were staying with him over the holidays was because your family was overseas for a work trip and they weren’t able to make it back in time. So your boyfriend (who you’ve been dating for almost a year now) immediately offered to let you stay and spend them with him and his family.

There was still a few days until they officially started but Osamu insisted on you coming early so you could really optimize your time together. You had no complaints about that whatsoever.

Once all of your bags were settled in a corner on the floor in his room, he took you into a warm embrace. “If you’re not too tired from the workout we just did, I have a few things planned for us to do.”

You nuzzled further into his chest and smiled. “That sounds perfect. Did I see some baking ingredients in the kitchen earlier? Can we start with cookies?”

“Of course, let’s go.”

Neither of you made any effort to head to the kitchen right away, instead just basking in the comforting arms you had wrapped around each other.

After few more minutes of that, you finally pulled away and lead him to the kitchen to do some baking. One mini food fight with lots of shrieking and laughter later, you put the cookies in the oven and set a timer.

While you waited, you sat on the couch drinking hot chocolate curled into Osamu’s side. Looking out the window, you noticed the snow was a bit lighter now but still falling just enough to make it look peaceful outside.

“Samu?”

“I’m way ahead of you, babe, just let me finish this sip and we can head out for a bit.”

Two minutes later you were both getting your winter gear back on and heading into the cold. The minute your foot hit the snow, you were gathering some up and throwing it at Osamu.

“Hey! Not fair, ya cheater!”

“You snooze, you lose baby!” You did your best to put some distance between yourselves but it proved to be meaningless when some soft snow hit you in the face as you turned back around.

You spluttered a bit and wiped it out of your eyes, laughing a bit. “Let’s not aim for the face anymore, I don’t really feel like wearing an eyepatch to end off the year.”

Osamu looked mildly guilty. He apologized quickly and came over to kiss all over your face to “make sure it healed properly” (there was no wound, you both knew he just wanted to kiss you). You giggled a bit and basked in the extra warmth he was providing you with.

Fake gagging and the sound of a car door slamming shut pulled the two of you out of your bubble. Atsumu was walking over to you guys, not dressed nearly warm enough for this weather in your opinion.

“You guys are disgusting, this is so not what I wanted to see as I drove up.”

You stuck your tongue out at him as he messed with your hat and fist bumped his brother, who looked less than stoked to see him. “What are ya doing here, tsumu? Yer not supposed to show up for another few days.”

“I came early. Duh.”

“No shit, Sherlock, but why?”

“Got a few days off of practice earlier than expected so I figured I’d just come here right away. You have the room, right?”

Your boyfriend rolled his eyes. “Yes, but call and tell me these things before ya show up unannounced ya ass! What if I had plans with Y/n?”

“Do ya?”

“Do we?”

Both twins looked at you. “Technically no, but I count relaxing with you before my family comes solid plans.”

Atsumu shrugged. “Well I’m here, so suck it up! We’re gonna have fun.”

“Me and Y/n are gonna have fun, yer gonna be a third wheel.”

“Oh, Samu, don’t purposefully leave him out of our activities, we still have time together! Let’s enjoy his company.” He raised an eyebrow at your tone. You were obviously planning something but he wasn’t sure what.

“Yea, Samu, just enjoy my company. At least Y/n has the right ide-”

Atsumu was cut off by a mouthful of snow. You gasped and tried to wipe it away but your boyfriend just laughed at his brother and dragged you along as he ran away.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t aiming for your face!”

“Agh! Y/n you’d better watch yer back, I’m comin’ after ya in a minute!”

Osamu tossed him the keys to the apartment. “Try it and yer dead! There’s some extra gloves and scarves in the front hall’s closet, hurry up ya scrub!”

While Atsumu was gathering some warmer clothes, you and Osamu spent your time hiding and building up some ammo. “Do we ambush him or wait for him to attack first?”

You thought about it for a minute. You’ve known the twins for a long time, even before you and Osamu started dating, so you knew how to catch the blond off guard. “Attack first and don’t let up for a second. Make him beg for mercy.”

Osamu looked at you with wide, adoring eyes. “I love you so much.”

You just grinned and started sneaking off with some snowballs closer to the building’s entrance. Too late did you realize that the target was outside already and looking right at you.

“Sorry, Y/n, looks like yer plan didn’t work. I’m not goin’ down without a fight and it looks like yer guard dog isn’t anywhere to be found. I’ll be taking that~” He reached over and took your small pile of snowballs.

You made a mad dash back towards Osamu, snowballs raining down... beside you. Turning your head slightly, you called back to him “Jeez, Atsumu, you’d think a professional setter would have better aim, no?”

He huffed and chased after you, but before he could catch up, Osamu tackled him from the side. Both twins groaned but your boyfriend was quick to regain his senses. “Y/n, get him!”

And so you proceeded to show Miya Atsumu the wrath of someone who wanted a peaceful night in with their boyfriend.

An hour later, when you were all back inside, eating slightly burnt cookies and warming up again, he was still complaining about it. “Why’d ya have to team up on me like that? Totally not fair.”

“Oh shush, ya big baby, I did tell ya that if ya tried anything with Y/n you’d be dead. Ya got what ya deserved.”

You snickered at that, handing Atsumu a mug of hot chocolate. Then you curled up in Osamu’s lap and sighed in contentment. “Thanks for saving me out there, baby, couldn’t have done it without you.”

He hummed and nuzzled his face into your shoulder. “I doubt that, yer pretty scrappy when ya wanna be.”

You cupped his face and pressed a kiss to his head. “True, but it was still a team effort. I love you.”

He lead some kisses up your neck and ended at your cheek. “Love ya too, angel.”

“Ya guys are so cute it’s actually gross, keep the PDA to a minimum around me, would ya? Or am I gonna have to start mocking Samu for being all soft on his partner?” He made some faux kiss noises and Osamu just punched him in the arm.

“Yer the one who crashed at my place a few days early, yer just gonna have to deal with me lovin’ on my partner a little bit. Just watch the movie.” He kissed your cheek a few times in quick succession making you laugh and try to pull away.

“No way, c’mere, I’m not done yet.”

And so the rest of the night was a blur of take-out, teasing from Atsumu every time you guys showed affection, even more affection from Osamu in retaliation, and lots of love during the holiday season on a cold December night.

BONUS, the next morning at breakfast:

“....”

“...so did you guys have a good night?”

“...shut up Atsumu.”

“I slept great, thanks for asking.”

“It’s too early for yer bullshit.”

“Well maybe if ya didn’t stay up so late-”

“Shut up, Atsumu.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...if the ending feels rushed, it kind was. I didn’t know how to end it so I added a bonus scene.

Hope you enjoyed!! pls consider reblogging and commenting :)

Happy New Year! <3

#miya osamu fluff #miya osamu x reader #osamu miya fluff #osamu fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader fluff #haikyuu x reader

52 notes · View notes

waitimcomingtoo · 4 years ago

Text

Kiwi

Pairing: Peter Parker x film enthusiast!reader

Synopsis: Peter is skeptical of your new guy friend

Masterlist

You were a bit of a film nerd.

You always had something to say about a film. Whether it was random trivia about the actors or the original version of the script, you knew it and you had to share. Every time Peter heard you say, “did you know…”, during a movie, he knew he was in for something great. You seemed to know everything about every movie, and it brought Peter a great deal of amusement. His favorite thing, however, was when you showed him your favorite movies. You’d stay silent during these, always so enchanted by them. But when your favorite scene was coming, you’d let Peter know by giving his hand an anxious squeeze. That’s when he knew he had to stop looking at you and pay attention.

“Okay.” You turned the movie off and looked at Peter. “Be honest. What did you think?”

“I liked it.” Peter lied. He had barely paid attention. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the soft smile that rested on your lips throughout the film.

“That’s all?” You whined. “Did you know it took seven years to animate that dinner scene? Seven years for a three minute sequence. Isn’t that amazing?”

“It is.” Peter chuckled. “I was very impressed.”

“Me too.” You gushed. “It gets better every time.

“I bet. So how was your day today?” Peter asked as you laid your head down on his lap.

“I had a great day, actually.” You smiled up at him.

“Yeah?” Peter grinned as he stroked your hair. “What happened?”

“I was talking about The Babadook in theater today and this guy chimed in and told me it was his favorite horror film. Other than Midsommer, obviously.” You began. “Apparently he loves movies just as much as I do. Can you believe that?”

“Wow.” Peter nodded. “What’s his name?”

“Kevin.” You answered. “We’ve been texting all day. He’s making a list of his favorite movies and I’m making him a list of mine. God, I love when you meet someone and instantly click.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Peter said a little flatly. He didn’t love that you’d been texting this guy all day, especially when Peter didn’t know him. What he loved even less was how much you had in common with this guy.

As the weeks went on, Peter heard at least one mention of Kevin a day. Whether he was sending you a funny Tik tok or asking you for movie recommendations, Peter always saw his name on your phone. He checked out Kevin’s Instagram to see what he was like and saw a picture of the two of you with your arms around each other. Whenever Peter checked Kevin’s story on Snapchat, you were usually in in the background. It bothered Peter more than he liked, but he didn’t want to tell you he was jealous. He didn’t want you to think that he didn’t trust you, but he wasn’t so sure he trusted Kevin.

“Whats so funny?” Peter asked when he heard a giggle escape your lips. You were sitting on Peter’s bed, staring at your phone while he did his homework.

“It’s Kevin.” You chuckled as you typed something back. “I thought everyone in that class was uptight but he’s hilarious. I can’t believe we never spoke before this month. He’s like the funniest guy I know.”

“Wow. Good for you.” He smiled softly. “I’m glad you made a friend.”

“Me too. But enough about him. I want to hear about my lovely boyfriend.” You left your phone on the bed and went to Peter’s desk to sit with him. You sat down on his lap and wrapped your arms around him, bringing him into a long kiss.

“Your lovely boyfriend is very stressed about his annotated bibliography.” Peter sighed when he pulled away.

“Aw.” You cooed. “What’s it on?”

“Residential segregation in urban areas.” Peter told you.

“Hm.” You frowned. “I don’t know too much about that. But I could tell you five films that deal with it.”

“I’d love to hear them.” Peter smiled before leaning in for another kiss. Your kiss was cut short by the sound of your phone ringing.

“Hang on.” You sighed. “Sorry.”

“Who is it?” Peter asked as you went back to your phone.

“Kevin.” You answered before picking up. Peter frowned, feeling insecurity settle in his tummy.

“Hello?” You laughed softly. “I’m good. Yeah. It was Moonrise Kingdom. You’re welcome. Bye.”

“Sorry.” You said as you tossed your phone back on the bed. “He couldn’t remember the title of the movie I told him to watch.”

“Hm.” Peter nodded, not trusting himself to say anything helpful.

“Is everything okay?” You asked as you sat back down on his lap.

“Yeah.” He lied. “Everything is okay.”

A few weeks later, Peter was walking down the hallway when he spotted Kevin by the water fountain. He was too busy talking to some boy to notice Peter. Peter was thankful for this, since he was supposed to meet you between classes and he didn’t want Kevin to interrupt.

“There you are.” You came down the hallway and threw your arms around Peter. “Hi baby.”

“Hey princess.” Peter smiled before pulling you into a long kiss. He opened his eyes and flicked them up to see if Kevin was still there, which he was. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss out of spite.

“Woah.” You pulled away breathlessly after a minute. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Just wanted to show you some love. Since I love you so much.” Peter shrugged before kissing you again.

“I love you too.” You giggled between kisses.

“Do you want to come over after class today? I have a lot more love I want to show you.” Peter mumbled against your lips. He flicked his eyes to the side again and this time, Kevin was watching. He was too far to hear your conversation, but he could clearly see how affectionate Peter was.

“Yes, please.” You bit your bottom lip. “But I can’t come until after four. Kiwi and I-“

“Kiwi?” Peter wondered.

“Sorry, Kevin. Kiwi is my nickname for him.” You explained as Peter’s smile fell. “He and I were gonna get coffee after class.”

“Alone?” Peter pulled away a little with a pour. “Like on a date?”

“No.” You laughed. “Peter, Kevin is-“

“Can we not talk about Kevin?” He cut you off and pulled you back into his arms. “I want to hear about your day. How was class?”

“Good. It’s just so long. I can’t sit through it all without zoning out. That’s usually when I start thinking about you.” You smirked as you rubbed your nose against his.

“Thinking about little old me?” Peter touched a hand to his chest before pulled you into another kiss. He slid his hand down your body and gave your butt a squeeze, making sure he was extra affectionate in front of Kevin.

“Whew.” You pulled away in surprises for laughed. “We are in the hallway, mister. Save that for later.”

“I will.” He smacked your butt for good measure. “I’ll see you after four.”

“See you.” You blew him a kiss as you walked away. Peter smirked and leaned against the wall, pleased with himself for his little public display of affection.

Since Kevin was so very fond of posting you on his social media, Peter made sure to put a picture of you sleeping on his story. He added the caption “when she sleeps in your bed more than her own” just so everyone knew what was going on.

A few weeks later, you went to Peter’s dorm after a long day of classes in need of some cuddles. You opened Peter’s door and found him laying in his bed.

“Hey, princess.” He sat up a little in his bed. “You had a midterm today right?”

“Yeah. I didn’t do too well though.” You sighed. “There was an essay at the end that I didn’t really know how to answer.”

“I’m sorry.” He frowned and opened his arms to you. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” You mumbled as you climbed into his arms. “I was kinda bummed but then Kevin and I went to Dunkin so I feel better. It’s just a test.”

Peter quieted down when you mentioned Kevin, feeling that familiar sense of jealousy in his stomach.

“Is something wrong?” You noticed his mood change.

“Why are you and Kevin always together?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “We just like spending time together.”

“Do you hang out in a group or just you and him?” Peter wondered.

“Usually just me and him.” You told him, which is exactly what he didn’t want to hear. Peter pouted and tilted his chin up, not wanting you to see that he was upset.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting up a little to stroke his face.

“He knows everything about movies. He’s the funniest guy you know.” Peter repeated the words you used. “And he takes up all your time. I don’t know, I’m a little worried.”

“About what? Kevin is just a friend.”

“But is that all he wants to be?” Peter asked. “Think about it, princess. You have the same passion as him and you’re drop dead gorgeous. There’s no way he’s not into you.”

“I promise you, he’s not.” You chuckled softly. “And he knows I have a boyfriend. I talk about you all the time.”

“You talk about him all the time too.” Peter said quietly.

“Hey, Petey.” You rolled on top of him and cupped his face. “You have no reason to be worried or jealous. I love you, okay? No one could take your place.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded, satisfied with what you said. “I believe you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me how you were feeling.” You smiled softly. “I’ll stop talking about him as much if it bothers you.”

You kept your word and stopped bringing Kevin up, which Peter appreciated. What Peter didn’t know was he’d still have you watch you laugh at Kevin’s texts and see the two of you in the hallways.

A few weeks later, Peter surprised you outside of your economics class during his free period.

“Hey, princess.” He came up behind you and pulled you into a hug.

“Peter!” You lit up. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Really?” Peter asked hopefully.

“Yeah. Kevin is about to get out of class. You can finally meet him.” You told him, and his smile fell. Of course your excitement was Kevin related. Before Peter could respond, Kevin walked out of a classroom and went up to you.

“There’s my girl.” He squeezed your hand. “How was economics?”

“Boring but he wore those pants again.” You laughed a little. Kevin seemed to know exactly what you were talking about, but Peter didn't.

“Did you take a picture?” Kevin’s eyes widened in excitement.

“I couldn’t.” You whined. “He was always facing us.”

“Ugh. Next time.” Kevin laughed. Peter looked between the two of you and cleared his throat, signaling that he was there.

“Oh, right.” You giggled. “Kevin, this is Peter.”

“It’s about time.” Kevin reached out to shake Peter’s hand. “Y/n told me all about you, Mr. Biochemistry and engineering major.”

“Nice to meet you.” Peter said stiffly as he draped an arm over your shoulders.

“You too.” Kevin smiled. “I gotta say, you’re the luckiest man in the world to be dating Y/n. I’m ready to marry her and I’ve only known her two months.”

“Yeah, well.” Peter smiled tightly and pulled you closer. “She’s taken.”

“I know.” Kevin sighed wistfully. “She never lets me forget it.”

“Haha.” Peter faked a laugh and hugged you even tighter. “I won’t either.”

“Aw.” Kevin smiled at the two of you. “Well, I wish I could stay but I have class in five minutes. It was great to meet you, Peter. We should all hang out soon.”

“Yeah.” Peter nodded. “Sure.”

“Bye Kiwi.” You called after him once he w no as walked away. You turned to Peter to see his reaction and noticed the displeased look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

“Did he seriously just say he wanted to marry you? In front of me?” Peter asked angrily.

“He was kidding.” You assured him. “He would never marry me.”

“He didn’t take his eyes off you the entire time we were talking.” He grumbled.

“Hey.” You put a hand on Peter’s chest to calm him down. “You have nothing to worry about. Kevin is harmless. He likes me as a friend. He would never see me as something more.”

“I don’t know, princess.” Peter sighed and put his hand over yours. “He seems to really like you. I don’t think I’m comfortable with you guys hanging out alone all the time.”

“I understand what you’re saying.” You nodded. “But I promise, I wouldn’t be hanging out with this guy if I had any impression that he liked me.”

“Maybe he’s just good at hiding it around you.” Peter shrugged.

“He and I were gonna watch Eternal Sunshine this Friday. Would it make you feel better if you came too?” You suggested. “I’ve been meaning to show you that movie anyway.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded, feeling a little better. His frown didn’t let up, so you pinched his cheek.

“I love you.” You teased him.

“I love you too.” He broke into a smile finally.

Come Friday, you, Peter and Kevin were sitting in your dorm in front of a white sheet. Peter and Kevin sat in awkward silence as you fumbled with the projector.

“Okay, I think I got it.” You said finally, and the image appeared on the white sheet. You went to sit between Kevin and Peter, but Peter had other plans.

“You can sit with me, princess. Right here.” Peter loudly patted his lap. You laughed a little and took a seat between his legs, letting him pull you into his body. He wrapped his arms securely around your waist and pressed loud kisses to your cheek.

“You guys are so cute.” Kevin commented as he grabbed some popcorn.

“Thanks.” Peter said through an evil smile. He kissed your cheek again and snuggled you closer.

As the movie went on, Peter became progressively more affectionate. Usually you wouldn’t mind, but you didn’t want to make Kevin uncomfortable.

“Baby, not now.” You whispered to Peter as he kissed your neck. He had already left a hickey right where Kevin could see it.

“Sorry. I just can’t resist you.” Peter whispered back. Instead of kissing you, he slid his hands up your shirt and cupped your boobs. You craned your neck to raise an eyebrow at him, but he played dumb.

“What?” He asked innocently. “My hands were cold.”

“Sure.” You chuckled and let him keep his hands there the rest of the movie.

The following week, Peter walked through the halls feeling better about the whole Kevin situation. You spent the weekend in Peter’s dorm, only ever leaving for the bathroom or food. Peter made sure he posted pictures of you together throughout the day for Kevin to see. He could tell his jealousy was getting a little out of control, but he couldn’t help it. As long as Kevin was around, he had to keep his guard up.

Peter spotted your backpack in the crowded hallway and began to make his way to you. You usually walked back to the dorms together on Mondays since your classes ended at the same time. Peter stopped walking when he saw Kevin come out of a classroom and go over to you. He kept his back against the wall as he watched you and Kevin talk, feeling insecure once again. You were laughing loudly at whatever Kevin was saying, which made Peter roll his eyes.

“See you tomorrow, okay?” Kevin asked, brushing your cheek lightly with his thumb. You smiled excitedly and put your hand over his to keep it in place. Peter felt a white hot jealousy shot through his body when he saw this, a jealousy that quickly turned or anger. It was made even worse when Kevin pulled you into a hug. Peter had seen enough at that point and walked over to you and Kevin with heavy footsteps.

“Hey.” Peter said, shooting daggers at Kevin as he put a protective hand on your shoulder.

“Hey Petey.” You smiled and leaned into him.

“Hey, Peter.” Kevin waved. “Your girlfriend is a saint, by the way. I would not have made it through this semester without her.”

“Aw.” You gushed. “Stop.”

“I wouldn’t have.” He insisted. “I wish I could stay but I better run. Austin is waiting for me.”

“Ooo la la.” You teased. “See you at rehearsal.”

“See you.” He waved goodbye to the both of you and Peter was finally able to let out the breath he’d been holding in.

“Are you ready to walk home?” You asked as you turned to Peter.

“What the hell was that?” Peter jumped in right away, surprising you with his tone.

“What do you mean?” You blinked in confusion.

“You and Kevin.” He said. “Why was he touching you like that? And why were you touching him back?”

“Kiwi was just-“

“Enough of this Kiwi shit.” Peter cut you off. “How are you going to tell me I have nothing to worry about and then let him touch and you like that?”

“He was only touching me because-“

“Because he likes you? Like I said he did?” Peter didn’t let you finish. “You guys are together all the time, you’re always talking about him, and now you’re openly affectionate right in front of me? If you’re going to cheat on me, you could be a little more subtle.”

“Cheat on you?” Your eyes widened. “I am not cheating on you. I thought we cleared this up.”

“I thought so too. But apparently not.” Peter snapped. “Apparently you and your new boyfriend just can’t keep your hands off each other.”

“Kevin is not my boyfriend. You are.” You said quietly. “But you’re really hurting my feelings, Peter. How could you accuse me of something like that?”

“How could I not? It’s not like you’re trying to hide it.” He scoffed. “If I wasn’t standing right there, he probably would have kissed you.”

“I can promise you he wouldn’t.” You said as you looked at the ground.

“I can’t believe you’re still denying it after what I saw.” Peter said, getting emotional now. “How can you throw away everything we had for a guy you just met?”

“I didn’t throw anything away.” You looked up with tears in your eyes. “You’re the one ruining things with this stupid fight. How many times do I have to tell you that there’s nothing going on between me and Kevin? And how could you accuse me of cheating? Do you really think that little of me?”

“Now that you’ve shown me who you really are, I do.” Peter shot back. You sucked in a sharp breath and took a step back from him.

“You can walk home yourself.” You said through tears. “I don’t want to talk to you ever again.”

“Fine by me.” Peter shrugged, but he was already starting to regret everything. Before he could apologize for making you cry, you walked away. He decided to give you some space instead of running after you right away. Instead, he walked in the opposite direction and began to wander around campus. And sure enough, he ran in to...

“Hey Peter.” Kevin greeted with a smile. “I thought you were walking home with Y/n?”

“She left without me.” Peter grumbled without looking up. Kevin was the very last person he wanted to talk to right now.

“Is everything okay?” Kevin asked when he noticed Peters angry demeanor.

“It’s not really any of your business.” Peter narrowed his eyes at him.

“Okay.” Kevin backed off. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Kevin.” Peter rolled his eyes.

“Ugh. I hate the name Kevin.” Kevin tried to lighten the mood.

“Why?” Peter took the bait.

“It’s so masculine.” He grimaced. “It’s like, ‘hey, I’m Kevin. Wanna hear how loud my car engine is?’ Please. It’s so not me.”

“Is that why Y/n calls you Kiwi?” Peter asked, genuinely curious.

“Yeah.” Kevin smiled. “Cause I’m little fruity.”

“Fruity?” Peter wondered.

“Sorry.” Kevin chuckled. “I mean gay.”

“You’re gay?” Peter’s eyes widened. “Like, gay gay?”

“Yes sir.” Kevin replied. “But I haven’t come out to everyone yet. Only Y/n and my boyfriend Austin know. I asked them not to tell anyone. I don’t need anything else for people to target me for, you know?”

Peter stared at him for a moment, feeling a panic run down his spine. He had just accused you of cheating on him with your gay best friend.

“I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend.” Peter mumbled, feeling himself begin to sweat. You endured all of Peter’s accusations to keep Kevin’s secret, and now Peter felt awful.

“Damn.” Kevin said. “Does Y/n not talk about me? I tell Austin all about her.”

“She tries. I never let her.” Peter said sadly, angry with himself now.

“Why not?”

“Because I was stupid and super jealous.” Peter sighed and rubbed his face. “I was jealous even when she told me not to be.”

“Jealous of me?” Kevin laughed. “I don’t even like girls.”

“I didn’t know that. All I knew was you could talk to her about films and movies and I couldn’t.” Peter shrugged sadly. “I kept thinking you could make her happier than I could, so I got jealous. I’m such an idiot. You know I yelled at her today because of this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you touching her face in the hallway and nearly lost my mind. I completely took it out on her.” Peter stressfully tugged at his hair.

“Oh, that.” Kevin laughed. “I’m the male lead in Y/n’s film project. My character is straight and I was having trouble portraying an accurate straight guy. She was teaching me some mannerisms that you do so I could use them on my scene partner. That thing in the hallway was just me joking around and showing her that I had been practicing. I never would’ve gotten through this theater class without her.”

“Oh my God.” Peter covered his mouth with his hand. “I made her cry over that? I thought you guys were sleeping together or something. I didn’t know she was helping you.”

“Yikes.” Kevin grimaced. “That’s not really fair. It’s not like she was the one touching me. Why would you yell at her over that?”

“Because I’m an idiot.” Peter said lamely. “And I don’t listen. She told me so many times that I had nothing to worry about. She said you didn’t like her like that, said you’d never marry her. She told me you weren’t a threat in every possible way without telling me your secret. And I just didn’t listen.”

“Peter, Y/n loves you. She would never cheat on you.” Kevin said like it was obvious. “She deserves a better apology than “I’m an idiot.” If my boyfriend tried to apologize to me like that, I’d tell him he was right and dump him.”

“Do you think she’s gonna break up with me?” Peter worried.

“Well how did you end things with her?”

“She told me to never speak to her again and walked away crying.” Peter recanted.

“Oh.” Kevin said quietly.

“What?” Petwr panicked.

“The good news is she’s not gonna break up with you.” Kevin began. “The bad news is she already did.”

“What?” Peter worried. “That was her breaking up with me?”

Before Kevin could answer, his phone buzzed with a text from you. He looked at it and cringed before looking at Peter.

“Oh no.” Peter gulped. “What did she say?”

“She said she just broke up with you and needs a coffee pick me up.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded.

“She also says she hates you and you broke her heart.” Kevin continued.

“Fuck.” Peter sighed. “I really messed up.”

“Yes. You did.” Kevin nodded. “And I’m sorry, but have no sympathy for you. She told you I wasn’t a threat and she was right. We both know Y/n, and you know her even better than I do. So we both know she’s not a cheater or a liar. She’s just a film nerd who likes to talk about her passions.”

“I know. I really fucked up.” Peter mumbled. “You’re her best friend. How can I win her back?”

“Why would you ask a gay man how to win a girl back?” Kevin asked. “Fuck if I know.”

“Right. Sorry.” Peter stammered. “Did she say anything else?”

“She said she’s meeting me at Dunkin in five minutes. And then she wants to watch Pride and Prejudice. Jesus, Peter. Pride and Prejudice? How bad did you hurt her?”

“Really bad.” He feared.

“Well now I have to go clean up your mess.” Kevin sighed. “And just so you know, I will be telling her the best way to get over you is to get under someone else. It’s always been my dream to say that.”

“Please don’t do that.” Peter begged. “Don’t tell her to sleep with anyone else.”

“If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.” Kevin shrugged as he sent you a text.

“What?” Peter asked. “What does that mean?”

“I’m sorry, Peter. But I’m on Y/n’s side with this. I can’t help you anymore. So don’t show up, don’t come out, and definitely don’t start caring about her now.”

“Are you speaking in riddles?” Peter whispered.

“Walk away.” Kevin nodded. “You know how.”

With that, Kevin walked away and left Peter all alone.

Peter trudged back to his dorm alone and sent you a long apology. You texted him back a day later and told him you needed some space, which he understood. He let two weeks go by before knocking on your door.

“What are you doing here?” You asked when you opened the door for Peter. He could tell you had been crying and could hear a movie playing in the background.

“Apologizing to my beautiful girlfriend who’s feelings I hurt.” He said sheepishly as he held out the ice coffee he had brought you.

“I’m not your girlfriend.” You stated, eyes flicking to the ice coffee. Peter held it out further and you took it from him, grabbing a reusable straw off your dresser.

“Yes.” Peter agreed. “But for the small price of letting me in the door, you could be again.”

“Fuck off.” You scoffed and tried to close the door.

“Here me out.”Peter pleaded and stuck his foot in the door. “What if I fuck in so we can talk? Please? I really miss you.”

“I don’t miss you.” You said without missing a beat.

“You posted the lyrics to All Too Well three times this week. You have to miss me a little.” Peter reasoned.

“What are you doing here?” You sighed, knowing he was right. “I thought I told you not to talk to me.”

Peter frowned and looked around for anyone who might be listening.

“I didn’t know Kevin was gay.” He said quietly.

“He isn’t out yet.”

“I know.” Peter nodded. “He told me.”

“You talked to him?” You raised an eyebrow at him as you sipped your drink.

“Yeah. He’s a cool guy.” Peter smiled shyly. “I see why you hang out with him.”

“Yeah. He is a cool guy. He trusts me when I ask him to and doesn’t misplace his anger.” You said through a tight smile as you walked into your room. Peter followed and shut the door behind him. He saw that you were playing Little Women on your projector and had tissues strewn all around the room.

“I fucked up.” He told you. “I never should have accused you of cheating. And I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You didn’t deserve that.”

“How many times did I tell you Kevin wasn’t a threat?” You set down your drink and folded your arms. “You said he made you uncomfortable so I stopped talking about him. You said you didn’t want us to be alone all the time so I invited you to hang out with us. I did everything I could to make you feel more comfortable without outing my friend and it still wasn’t enough for you. You just don’t trust me.”

“I do trust you.” He promised. “But I was insecure and jealous, even when you told me I didn’t need to be. I couldn’t help but feel like he could be a better boyfriend to you. He can talk to you about your passions in ways I can’t. That’s why I got so mad. I felt like I couldn’t measure up.”

“No one asked you to.” You shrugged. “I never expected you to know random shit about movies. It’s just something I like. I was happy with you just the way you were.”

“And I was too blinded by my jealousy to see that.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. You told me to trust you and I didn’t. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

“I don’t care.” You told him. “I just want you to leave.”

“I’m scared that if I walk out, we won’t fix things.” Peter said softly.

“Good.” You said flatly. “So get out.”

Peter opened his mouth to speak, but realized he had nothing productive to add. His eyes shifted to your projector, where Little Women was still playing.

“Did you know the costume designer made the same article of clothing for Saoirse and Timothee so it could look like Jo and Laurie shared clothing?” Peter asked quietly.

“Yeah, I did know that.” You nodded. “How did you?”

“I’ve been doing research on films you like to impress you.” Peter admitted. “Did you know they used Angelina Jolie’s real daughter in Maleficent because all the other children were scared?”

“I knew that too.” You cracked the faintest hint of a smile.

“Well did you know that Psycho-“

“Was the first film to feature a toilet flushing.” You finished his sentence for him. “Yeah, I know. You googling top ten crazy movie facts isn’t gonna fix this.”

“I know.” Peter agreed. “But I hope it shows you how badly I want to try.”

You stared at Peter for a long time, unsure of what to do. You chewed your bottom lip as you mulled over your options. You knew he was sorry, but you didn’t know if you were ready to forgive him.

“You asked me to leave. I’ll listen this time. I’m sorry about everything.” Peter gave you a soft smile before turning to leave.

“Peter, wait.” You said, and he internally rejoiced.

“Yes?” He asked innocently as he turned back around.

“I made more popcorn than I can eat.” You said timidly. “You should stay and finish the movie with me so I don’t waste it.”

“Okay.” Peter smiled in relief and took a seat on your floor. You sat down next to him and handed him the bowl of popcorn.

“But just so the popcorn doesn’t go to waste.” You reminded him and he took a handful.

“No, of course.” Peter nodded, not wanting to push his luck. You stared at him for a minute as he fought back a smile, losing his battle in no time. You rolled your eyes at him before resting your head on his shoulder.

“I’m only doing this for neck support.” You told him.

“I believe you.” He answered as he wrapped an arm around you. “I love you, princess.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You smiled a little as you put some popcorn in your mouth. “Whatever.”

Tag list 🏷

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @weirdr-artiest @serendipitous-amor @dummiesshort @foreverxholland @lavender-writer @michaela072796 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101 @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @flixndchill @sovereignparker @thisisthebiplace @spideydobrik @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave @itscaminow @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah @kickingn-ames @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @love-sick-blues @electraheart-3174 @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @spideyanakin @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl @anapocalypseinmymind @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @tomshufflepuff @cookiemonstermusic258 @maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey @im-still-tryin-to-find-it @big-galaxy-chaos @pandaxnienke @theincredibledeadlyviper @thestylestour @officialsimppage @mrvelscaptains @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours @satanswitchings @okkulta @parkerlovebot @jungkxxkk @friendlyneighborhood-mendes @whatthefuckimbisexual @olixerwxxd @starkbrain @creatorofthegalaxy @sunshine-spencie @f-hollands @ilovefrogs1000 @itstaskeen @itmatteredatthetime @wrendermeuseless @amazinggracy @slutforsebstan @iprobablyshipit91 @magicalxdaydream @whereismytelephone @theonly1outof-a-billion @leilanixx @namoreno @bi-lmg @dracoswhore007 @tomhollandloml @avengers-hamiltrash @sunshinepeterparkr @gh0stgurl @so-very-asleep @veryholland @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @white-wolf1940 @spideycheles @w0nderzwndaya @fanficaddict13125 @pinklxmonade @thebestqueenoftheworld @nowayhomeparker @willowestelle @imobsessedzs @spideyspeaches @bookfrog242 @mathletemadison @hihiweezing

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker fluff #peter parker x you #peter parker angst #peter parker jealous #Peter Parker x artsy!reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #spiderman

1K notes · View notes

kirishimaswife2819 · 4 years ago

Text

When Their S/o is on Their Period || BNHA Boy Headcanons

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x Fem!Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Fem!Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Fem!Reader, and Denki Kaminari x Fem!Reader

Summary: How the boys act when you’re on your period

Word Count: 1.6k

A/n: I wrote this because my period is supposed to come in like two days and I am not very excited at all. Anyway, I hope you like these headcanons, and requests are still open and all that, just read the rules first. Also, thanks for everyone who has liked/reblogged any of my posts or even followed me, I really appreciate it. Hope you all have a great day/night! :) -Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

If you don’t tell him ahead of time that you’re going to be on your period and you snap at him he’s gonna get so upset

Like he’s going to think about every little thing that happened for the past few weeks and try to see where he went wrong

Then when you tell him you’re on your period, he’s going to just freeze, and then start to panic

His face gets all red, but he still asks if you if you need anything

If you send this boy to the store to get pads/tampons, expect him to be gone for a solid few hours

When he firsts gets to aisle, he stands there, because he knows absolutely nothing about pad/tampons, and he doesn’t know what brand to get

So then, he takes out his phone and starts typing, and trying to do research, but google isn’t helping him decide what to get at all

So, then the nice old lady restocking the shelves, offers to help, noticing how he’s panicking

He still ends up getting a few different brands, but that’s okay

If you get bad cramps, like really bad, he’s definitely going to cry

He hates seeing you in pain

If you are having cramps he’ll give you some medicine he bought and offer you a heating pad

After he gets you feeling a little better, he’s going to give you all the snacks he got you and offer to cuddle and watch whatever you want with him

Overall, even though he gets really embarrassed about it, he’ll still help you if you need him to

Katsuki Bakugou:

If you snap at him, he’s going to like brush it off, but after the second or third time he’s going to go off on you

But once you tell him you’re on your period he’s going to be so confused

Not because he doesn’t know what it is, but because he has no clue what he’s supposed to do about it

He’ll apologize for going off on you

By apologize I mean that he’ll mumble sorry under his breath so that you can barely hear it

But I mean it’s Bakugou, so just take what you can get

He probably wouldn’t offer to go anywhere to get you anything

But if you ask him, he’ll go (Only after complaining the whole time getting ready to leave though)

He’s going to make sure you tell him what brand of pads/tampons to get so he doesn’t have to embarrass himself in front of people in the store

If the cashier says one word about him buying them or gives him a weird look, he’s going to get very pissed

“They’re for my girlfriend, now stop giving me weird ass looks and comments and just scan the damn things!”

He’ll probably end up grabbing more snacks or chocolate than you asked for but if you ask why he did that, he’s going to say it was a total accident, even though it wasn’t

After he brings you the stuff he’ll just crash in your bed, and demand cuddles

But he won’t ask, he’ll just pull you to him and cuddle you

The first time you’re on your period around him, he’s pretty embarrassed but hides it, but with time, he gets used to it and it doesn’t bother him anymore

Although no matter if he’s sixteen and buying pads/tampons for you or seventy and buying pads/tampons for you, he’s still going to end up yelling at the poor cashier, even if they don’t comment or give him a look

Eijiro Kirishima:

I may be a bit biased because I absolutely love Kirishima (if you couldn’t tell), but I am convinced that he would be the best boyfriend in every way

And that includes when you’re on your period

If you snap at him, he’s going to get a little upset, but immediately ask what’s wrong and try to figure out what the issue is

After you tell him, he’s going to panic but hide it so he doesn’t alarm you

Immediately offers to go get you anything you need

But he’s so eager to help you out, he forgets to ask what brand of pads or tampons to buy

So now he’s in the feminine hygiene product aisle, standing next to some twelve year old girl whose low key too embarrassed to grab a box of pads in front of some teenage boy

So she’s just standing there, waiting for him to leave, but he’s trying to figure out which box to buy, so he’s like looking at all of them and picking them up, trying to figure out the difference between all of them

And the girl goes to quickly grab a box and run off, but then he speaks

“Wait, can you help me?”

And the girl low key just wants to disappear right then and there, but she helps him anyway

This man walks away with a few different brands of pads/tampons in his arms not realizing he just traumatized some little girl by asking her for advice on getting his girlfriend pads/tampons

Then he grabs you some snacks, medicine, and whatever else you wanted, before checking out and leaving

He like rushes home because he was taking so long and he was worried about you

But when he like bursts into your room, you’re literally fine, and just chilling eating some stale chips, and watching some Netflix

Kirishima immediately takes away your stale chips, and gives you the stuff he bought

So now you guys are eating the new and not stale chips while binge watching your favorite Netflix show for the fiftieth time

Shoto Todoroki:

I only have three words: Human Heating Pad

But seriously, if you have cramps, and you tell him heat helps, he’s definitely going to offer for you to use his hand as a heating pad

Once he learns that you’re on your period, he’s going to try his best to help, but he knows nothing about them despite having a sister

After taking a moment to compose himself after initial shock of you telling him, he’s going to offer to go to the store for you

So, now he’s in the aisle, trying to figure out what brand to get

He had tried calling you, but you must of been napping, because you didn’t pick up

Eventually he decides to call his sister and ask for some help

His sister proceeds to tell him about pads and tampons and how they work

He ends up writing some of the stuff down in his notes on his phone so he knows for next time and doesn’t forget

Then he’ll get whatever else you want

He’ll probably end up grabbing something extra too

Like a little gift such a plushie or a necklace, since he now knows periods really suck

He ends up getting you a gift every time your on your period (with Endeavor’s credit card of course), so it kind of morphs into a little tradition even though you insist that he doesn’t need to do it

But once he returns to home, you apologize for not answering, since you were in fact napping, but he quickly shuts you down and gives you everything he had got for you

Then you use his hand as your personal heating pad and talk about your lives

Overall, he’s pretty calm about the situation, and doesn’t make it a bigger deal than it needs to be

Denki Kaminari:

When you snap, or if you snap, he’s probably just going to brush it off

But the second time you snap at him, he makes some dumb remark

Probably something like, “Damn is it that time of the month or something?”

That gets him a textbook to his face

He’s honestly surprised with your response to his question

“Actually, yeah! Asshole! Now, if you’re gonna be a jerk, get the hell out and leave me alone!”

He was only joking and didn’t expect you to actually say yes

After you admit that you being on your period is the problem, he doesn’t know what to do

He knows the basics of a period, he knows you bleed, and like chocolate, and you sometimes get cramps, but other than that he has no idea how to handle the situation

After a moment of trying to figure out what to do, he asks if you need anything

Now he’s in the store, trying to figure out what a ‘flow’ is, and why pads and tampons are so expensive

He ends up calling Kirishima to come help, who has no clue what to do either

Then they turn it into a group call by adding Bakugou and Sero

Bakugou calls them ‘fucking stupid’ but doesn’t know shit about periods either so when they ask him for help he makes up some excuse for not telling Kaminari what to do

Sero is actually helpful and tells him to just get one of each type of flow, since Kaminari refuses to call you and ask (R.I.P. Kaminari’s wallet)

Kaminari thanks him, and then they end the call

Then he gets whatever else you asked for, before heading home

When he gets there, he awkwardly hands you the bag and asks if you need anything else

When you say you want him to stay, he’s immediately jumping into your bed and cuddling with you

He thought since you were on your period, you wouldn’t want to be around him and it low key made him kind of sad, cause he would miss you

Then you guys spend the rest of the night scrolling through Tik Tok, and laughing along to videos

At some point, you end up seeing the thing girls do on Tik Tok where they ask their boyfriend’s how pads work

When Kaminari continues watching the video, and learns how pads actually work, he’s like turns to you and is like

“Wait, the sticky part doesn’t stick to your vagina?”

Somebody please help this poor idiot

2K notes · View notes

sunwoo-hoo · 3 years ago

Text

↣ the boyz reaction to s/o being shy /insecure

↳ a/n: hello my darlings! we’re back with another reaction for tbz. this was requested by hanagkskgks. i’m so sorry for the wait! i hope you enjoy it. also, these reactions are canon to my as your boyfriend series! so i highly recommend reading those as well! please, if your under the age of 18 do not interact with the post. PS. all bodies are beautiful and you should never feel ashamed for being who you are. x o x o

↳ genre: flufffyyy + smutttyyy

↳ warnings: stretch marks, pubic hair, dieting, reader with body insecurities

↳ requested? yes

↳ send me your requests here!

↳ word count: 2.8k what the actual fuck these are mini drabbles at this point

↳ the boyz x fem reader

「 Lee Sangyeon 」

you had only been dating for 3 months when you finally had sex with sangyeon for the first time

you had just walked through the dorms from another great date together after spending some much needed quality time

“where is everyone?” you asked looking around the living room area not hearing the laughter and bickering like you usually did

“the guys all went to get some dinner together, it’ll just be us for a couple of hours.. is that okay?” he responded

you were nervous to say the least, of course you and sangyeon have kissed many times, even made out but it never lasted longer than 10 minutes because the other members were around and you didn’t want to risk getting caught.

in this moment it all started to feel very real, were you ready? could fully give yourself to sangyeon? yes, you loved him, tonight was going to be the night.

“it’s perfect” you whispered walking up to him wrapping your arms around his neck giving him a kiss on the lips.

as you broke apart he smiled at you “baby we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. i want you to be comfortable” he observed

“no.. i want too. sangyeon i love you. i want this” you whispered he smiled as he grabbed your jawline tilting your head to give you another kiss.

before you knew it you were in sangyeon’s room, him on top of you kissing your neck making his way down to your breast. he was about to pull off your shirt when you stopped him

“wait.. i-i’m nervous for you to see all of me..” you mumbled

his eyes soften at you “you don’t have to be baby, your absolutely perfect in my eyes. nothing is going to change that” he promised

when he finally took of your shirt he looked deeply in your eyes “you’re so beautiful” he whispered bending down to give you an eletricfying kiss before the long night ahead.

「 Jacob Bae 」

sex was a new thing for you and jacob. having losing your virginity to each other you were still pretty nervous when it came to your body.

while jacob was more comfortable with his you still hadn’t quite matched his level even though to him you didn’t have a single flaw.

as you both were laying in bed watching t.v he started to trail long spicy kisses along the side of your neck making his down to your collarbone. you gently pushed him away

“jacob i’m sorry.. it’s not that i don’t want to it’s just that i don’t feel pretty” you mumbled not looking at his face

in retrospect it sounded ridiculous coming out of your mouth but you just couldn’t help the way you felt

he gave you a shock expression before he lightly grabbed your face to make you look at him

“baby, how can you say something like that? you’re beautiful in every way. in fact your way out of my league.” he reassured you grabbing your hand kissing the back of it

you smiled at his words as he continued

“you have nothing to feel embarrassed about, i love everything about you. don’t ever forget that okay?” he said giving you a temple kiss

you leaned into his touch pulling him close so that you could continue to cuddle together.

「 Kim Younghoon 」

you were both equally shy when it came to showing your bodies for the first time to each other.

there you were naked on the bed while younghoon was hovering over you.

you quickly covered your chest and closed your legs shut trying to cover as much as you could

“a-aren’t you gonna say anything?” you whispered not looking into his eyes out of nervousness

“you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen in my life” he said turning your head to give you a passionate kiss

it was at the moment where all your troubles went away it wasn’t about your body not being good enough for younghoon

it was about the way he saw you and how you were everything he could possibly ask for

moving your hands away from your breast your arms made it’s way to his neck as you spread opened your legs

he gently aligned himself in your entrance slowly pushing his cock deep inside your pussy as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

「 Lee Hyunjae 」

you and hyunjae were on vlive when it all happend

your relationship had been public for six months even though you were technically together for over a year

for the most part deobi’s were happy for you and hyunjae but you couldn’t deny the negative comments you would see from time to time about not being pretty enough or good enough for him

at first you chose to ignore them but as time went on it started to drag you down mentally and emotionally and hyunjae started to take notice

during the vlive when deobi’s started to ask questions about your relationship you quickly saw the comment that read ‘hyunjae break up with [name] i’m so much better looking’

after of a couple of minutes you swiftly pulled hyunjae out of camera shot and quietly told him that you wanted to end the vlive

at first he looked at you confused until you told him what you had read

appearing back on the camera by himself he told deobi’s “deobi i want you to know that i’m extremely happy with [name] it always amazes me on how beautiful she is. of course deobi’s your beautiful as well but let’s all say how gorgeous [name] looks today.

soon enough comments were rolling in about how amazing you two looked together and how everyone was rooting for you two, giving you well wishes

you scooted your chair back in the camera view and bowed your head deeply in graditude telling deobi’s thank you as hyunjae laced his fingers into yours holding on tightly

「 Lee Juyeon 」

it was one of those weeks, everything was one big blur and you didn’t have time to do your personal self care like you usually did

it all happend during one night when you were getting ready for bed with juyeon when he decided that he wanted to have a little fun before sleeping

his hands stared to caress the side of your thighs making his way up to your hips as you were finishing your skincare routine in the bathroom

“juyeon… i don’t think it’s a great time to do that right now.” you whimpered as he was trailing hot kisses along your shoulder blade making his way to your neck from behind you

“hmm? why not? baby you look so gorgeous tonight you know i can’t resist you” he whispered against your ear “especially when your wear this..”

looking at yourself in the mirror you silently cursed at yourself when you decided to put on your lacy black night gown for the night

“it’s not that it’s just… this week has been so hectic i didn’t get a chance to shave.. you know..” you mumbled covering your face with your hands out of embarrassment

he gently turned you around so that you could face him

“baby you know i don’t care about that, you’re beautiful either way” he smirked as he picked you up placing you on the bathroom counter

he gently pulled down your panties kissing your inner thighs in the process making his way up to your core

it all happend so fast your brain couldn’t even register what happend in that swift moment until you felt juyeon’s tongue on your clit licking it lightly, obviously teasing you.

you moaned trying to reach for anything to grab until your hands found it’s way to juyeon’s hair pulling tightly as you started to feel your first orgasm of the night built up

「 Kevin Moon 」

you couldn’t believe it but it was right there in front of your eyes. as you were changing you couldn’t help but see the noticeable stretch marks that made an appearance in your inner thighs

you were all for body positivity but you couldn’t deny the fact that you felt a little insecure about the new additions to your body

as first you chose to ignore them pretending that they weren’t even there, when you started to wear more jeans and pants kevin started to take notice and become suspicious but he wasn’t sure what it was

one night when you and kevin were about to have sex is when he found out about your little secret

“kevin.. do you think that maybe we can turn off the lights tonight?” you asked

he looked at you confused it was an odd request considering you two would always have the light on when you had sex

“why babe? is something wrong?” he responded

“no nothing! or maybe it’s something! i don’t know.. just look” you rambled as you removed your blanket to show him your thighs

as kevin leaned closer to take a better look he smiled as he looked up at you

“is that it? their just stretch marks babe it’s no big deal, in fact i think it’s super cute it makes you look like a tiger” he said proudly tracing his fingers along them gently kissing the lines

you smiled looking down at kevin realizing you made a big deal out of nothing. regardless of any flaw you thought you had you always knew kevin would always have a way to make you feel irresistible

「 Choi Chanhee 」

it all started from a doctor’s visit you were just having a regular checkup when the doctor decided that he wanted to measure your height and weight

when he told you had gain a couple of pounds you were a bit confused, you didn’t look any different, to you your body was as healthy as it could be

nevertheless you decided to go on a diet and chanhee quickly took notice when you started to skip a lot of meals

“love, why haven’t you been eating?” he wondered after another afternoon when you decided to skip lunch a third time this week

“oh well… i went to the doctor and they told me that i needed to lose some weight” you mumbled

chanhee gave you a confused look before responding “that’s ridiculous! there’s nothing wrong with your body! and even if you did gain weight your cheeks would just be more cuter to squish” he nearly shouted

calming himself down he continued “love, you don’t need to lose anything i love you just the way you are. promise me you won’t skip anymore meals?” he pleaded grabbing your hand

you smiled and nodded giving him a cheek kiss “i promise” you replied

「 Ji Changmin/Q 」

you loved everything about changmin to his smile, the way he made you feel, his charisma, even his high pitched dolphin screams you would hear on occasion. he was perfect in every way

you on the other hand sometimes felt a slight sense of insecurity being with changmin, your skin wasn’t always the clearest, your body wasn’t always the skinnest, hell sometimes you thought you were too short or too tall for him

you always thought idols dated models or actresses you were just a regular girl. why would changmin like you in the first place?

changmin took notice immediately when your personality start to shift after going public with your relationship

he decided to finally talk to you about it one night before going to bed

“sweetheart what’s wrong? ever since we’ve became public with our relationship i noticed you haven’t been the same. is everything okay?” he asked as he was playing with your fingers

sighing you hesistated before finally coming clean “it’s nothing it’s just… why are you with me q? there’s so much more prettier girls that you can easily have. i’m not good enough for you” you whispered tearing up finally breaking down after it being bottled up for so long

changmin let out a gasp covering his mouth before he answered you “[name]… i never want to hear you speaking like this about yourself ever again. i love you regardless of how you look, to me your perfect” he reassured grabbing your arm as he pulled you close to his chest giving you a head kiss

you nodded as changmin lifted your jaw and wiped your tears away from your face and leaned close giving you a soft kiss

「 Juhaknyeon 」

when it came to your body juhaknyeon had no problem praising it making you feel special 24/7

you had manage to keep it a secret until he finally saw it the one insecurity that you hated the most about yourself

when you were in high school you had gotten a permanent scar on your stomach from a car accident

over the years it eventually faded but it was still noticeable if you stared at your stomach long enough

you and juhakyeon were both getting undressed getting ready to shower together when he finally saw your scar

“hey baby what is that?” he pointed to your stomach noticing the small yet faded white scar on your abdomen

you quickly turned around covering your scar feeling embarrassed

“it’s nothing! i don’t know what your talking about” you stammered

“c’mon baby let me see” he asked as you hesitantly turned around removing your hands

“aww babe it’s just a scar, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about i have some as well” he told you as he showed you his faded scars from past dance practices

he continued “it just makes you that much more unique and beautiful”

「 Kim Sunwoo 」

one thing you always loved about sunwoo was that he was not afraid to show others how he felt especially when it came to you

he had no problem giving you kisses and holding your hand in public even though sometimes you had to remind him to behave

you were both visiting your parents when your shyness got the better of you

your parents loved sunwoo to the point where they would call you and ask about him first seeing if he was okay or if he needed anything to sunwoo they were his second parents

it was a nice sunny day when your parents decided to have a BBQ lunch for the 4 of you and sunwoo couldn’t keep his hands off you as he was behind you grabbing your waist pulling you close answering your parents questions

“how are you treating my daughter these days sunwoo?” your dad asked

“like a princess sir, she deserves nothing but the best” he answered truthfully giving you a small kiss on the cheek

“that’s wonderful! that’s what we love to hear” your mother smiled brightly enjoying the small interaction between the two of you

when your parents went inside the house to get the plates and utensils you decide now was the chance to talk to sunwoo

“sunwoo i love you but we’re at my parents house I’m a little shy when your touching me in front of them like that…” you mumbled

you knew your parents didn’t mind the loving interaction between you and sunwoo but you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed and shy about the whole ordeal

“oh… i’m sorry baby i didn’t know i just wanted to show them how deeply in love I am with their daughter” he answered putting his hands in his pockets

you smiled up at him and leaned in to give him a passionate yet inviting kiss sunwoo instantly slid his hands behind your neck deepening the kiss

before the kiss got too heated you pulled apart and replied “they’ll be more of that later if you tone it done a little okay?”

he gave you a smile and winked “you can count on it”

「 Eric Sohn 」

being best friends with eric before you got into a relationship was one of the best decisions you could ever make

he already knew everything about you, what you liked, what you hated, what your favorite color was, what you loved to eat, etc.

you loved that there was no awkwardness between you two, or so you thought.

when you finally decided to have sex for the first time after a month of dating you were extremely nervous. you knew eric for most of your life.

sure, he’d seen you in a bathing suit plenty of times but you were still partially clothed, it was at this moment when it hit you that he was about to see everything

as eric was about to pull down your shorts you hesitantly stopped him

“eric wait, what if... what if you don’t find me attractive?” you shakily said

he stopped and hovered over you before he answered “[name] i’ve loved you ever since we were kids, you are the most important person in my life. i’m always going to find you beautiful, you mean the world to me” he vowed

in that moment you felt your cheeks become wet from the hushed tears that fell

eric wiped your tears away with his thumb before leaning down giving you a kiss full of love

268 notes · View notes