#If he tries to get this taken down I will keep reposting it. I have it all saved on my computer the cloud and thumb-drives.

[otomesiren]

FFXIV PSA: Beware of Narseth D’havi on Seraph/Dynamis and Moogle/Chaos

Beware of Narseth D'havi on FFXIV (lodestone is linked). He puts up a nice front, but behind that is a toxic, manipulative, and gaslighting liar.   

He has emotionally hurt me to the point where I couldn't go to sleep, had a nightmare that was very graphic, couldn't eat, cost me out of $500+ for a job I couldn't complete due to my mood dropping due to the constant messaging of how his "day was ruined", could barely talk about this entire thing that he told me about before caving in to tell my close friend, boyfriend, and outside friends who didn't play the game.  I was expected to keep what he told me to myself.  He had tried to make me promise to not tell my friends when that is nigh impossible for me.

This was too much for me to read and listen to from him.  I'm not a therapist.  I am not trained in this nor do I pretend to be one.  What he did was load upon load of what he claimed happened (even breaking his own promise to not MENTION IT when i told him to refrain) to the point where I was emotionally drained and triggered, both from past experiences, but this was far worse.

Expecting the average person to contain all this when they're not qualified to handle such immense emotional reactions and then blame them for taking action like I did is wrong and ridiculous.  I was treated like utter shit and a fool by him.

Hello, I hardly go on here but this has been on my mind to post a beware of him since March of this year.  He frequents Twitter and I’m not going to post this over there since I don’t feel safe on there as I do here.  More so now thanks to El*n’s bullshit.  Plus this post is 24 pages long.  I don’t have that patience to slice it up.  The goal of this is to get this out is to warn people to stay the fuck away from this abusive piece of shit. This post may upset someone or more and to them I say this: I've been dragged into this and then treated as if i have no fucking right or say about it especially if said ex friend is an abusive bastard who just wants to get his cake and eat it too and then complains about it worse than what I see in retail of how it's not how it's made to his liking, how he wasn't catered to, it's by the book manipulation and gaslighting and overall abusive.  

I did my best remembering and searching what I could in Discord since some did happen in game.  Some proof is below at the very end.  I’m not going to show all since it’s not needed and most of the story is not mine to tell nor show.  My POV is what he spoke to me about and one part that shows his true colors without me there.  That.  Is.  It.   I'm not going to search through more in Discord since I would have to unblock him to jump to his messages or try to remember what I said 5+ months ago and then scroll in hopes to see what I’m looking for or spend x mount of hours trying to find it.

This post is edited as much as I can with the help of two very close friends of mine.  I didn’t get time to ask those who doesn’t know the story to have a complete outsider view (I don’t know how else to explain that).  In case you didn’t get the gist from above, this is a very heavy long post that has subjects of the following mentioned:

gaslighting

manipulation

disturbing nightmare with violence is mentioned and summarized (my own nightmare after a year of not having one)

mention of panic attacks/anxiety 

immense anger (lots of cussing, it’s how I unleash the emotion and I damn well deserve to unleash it after all the shit he put me through.  I know people can be affected by this since one of my dear friends has it)

pet passing (my own)

If I missed one, I’m sorry.  I finally felt ready to post this tonight and the sooner it’s out there, the better it is to warn others about him.

His character/guild/twitter/discord accounts  His main’s lodestone: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/42388617/ His new main: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/49016648/ as of August 17th 2024. His alts: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/47595294/ https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/47594784/ His “alleged” alt: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/29042799/ His FC/guild: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/freecompany/9280370719638690199/ His twitter accounts: https://twitter.com/NarsethXIV (deleted) https://twitter.com/DarKye (protected) Discord: narseth, ID is  617822537040003092 (used to be DarKye, I don’t remember the numbers that Discord used to have after usernames)

For some backstory: I met him on PWI in 2009ish along with others when I joined the guild, Aesthetic.  We only played dungeons and did guild events.  We fell out of touch but added our guildees to FB and then Steam since it was all the rage then.  Throughout the years, we haven't spoken to each other (the rest of the guildees I have lost completely out of contact) as the years went by. Sometime early 2022 I think, I get in touch with him again after I noticed he was playing FFXIV on Steam.   I just recently got back into it at the time and have caught up to the expansion pack and told him, “hey let's meet in game”.  So we did.  He was in another server and we hung out at the time.  We also added each other on Discord, his user on there was DarKye (his typical username in games and other places)  before he changed it recently to narseth with Discord's questionable change of usernames.

We went to our first venue together sometime in July 2022 when we saw some ads in shout chat.  I found to have loved it, and he did too for a while.  We found out twitch djs were a thing and I got a very much needed break from work for three to four days, almost a week, and found out by staying up to the ungodly wee hours that hard bass made me relax and chill out before bed when years ago, I had found it to be uncomfortable to listen to.  I could finally get some sleep that came easily to me for once.  After that break I had from work, he told me he couldn't keep going for a few days due to work.  That didn’t bother me at all, he had to get up early and I understood since he was hours ahead of me in South America.  I was terrified at first going by myself, but it's a good thing I did.

As I went by myself from mid July to August (i did still invited him to come with, but he said no a few times but he did come to one when I told him how awesome it was with the skill/light show), I met six new friends whom I got along great with and dragged my fc leader/close friend into it too since she was curious about it herself. August was something special, on the 15th I met my boyfriend of 11 months now, I'll name him T, and we hit it off immediately.  We stayed up till 5am in the morning despite both of us having work the next day.  During this, I barely messaged Narseth on discord, while in game he was silent or messaged in fc here and there but hardly on Discord except when he wanted to share something.  I soon found out that he felt like a bother and that led to him not messaging me since he was doing his MSQ.  I was already done with mine but I had told him before many times to always send me a msg to fan about it.  Even when I brought up I was always on Discord - I practically live on it, he said he felt like a bother.  Keep this in mind.

Once Aug 30th hit, I asked out T and he said yes.  I kept hanging out with my new friends, old friend, and T as we went to venues.  I had since given up trying to invite Narseth with us.  There was a time where I saw him much after in the year at a venue but 

It wasn't until sometime in October that I found out Narseth was interested in someone in game.  He wouldn't tell me who yet but he sounded happy.  He told me that he knew how fast it was being since it was just two weeks, just like mine was, so i didn't think much about it until that day in November when I met his intended.  One he didn’t even wait to introduce me when i told him and warned him i would give him so much shit (teasing, mind you) that he didn’t even introduce me before he proposed to her in game.  Keep the teasing in mind too.  

When I met her with my friend and T, we behaved like we always did.  I soon found out much much later that night that he was very upset by it.  He told me that I was too harsh with my teasing [in front of her] and got mad about the three of us teasing him to me ONLY, in DMs on discord.  (He also admitted that he felt good to pay me back when one of his friends refused to call me my correct name in game vs my nickname that friend of his gave me.  That was the first red flag I should’ve fucking noticed.)  But the reality was that he didn't want to look "foolish" in front of the one he lied about.  In turn, he turned the blame completely unto me: how I hadn’t hung out with him despite me trying to make conversation with him. I told him the very same that even if I do msg him, he barely messages back or even forgets.  Latter I understood, but it was why I didn't even hang out or talk with him anymore.  He didn't seem to be interested in talking to me at all or do anything but focus on his intended whom he greatly replied to very fast to is what I was told.

The way he typed to me in Discord during that conversation was very condescending and rude.  He treated me like I did nothing or put any effort to hang out or do anything with him when I did, in fact, tried to include him, tried to talk - practically everything.  He acted like he didn’t know me and he didn’t at ALL now that I look back on it. It felt utterly wrong to be spoken to in this way, text or not.  My fear of confrontation and hurting a friend when really it was ME being hurt not him, caused a very bad panic attack:  I felt a sick sensation in my stomach.  I hadn’t had one this bad since starting college years ago.  It freaked me out, shooting my anxiety to where I couldn't eat for days.  I could barely sleep.  For three to four days. I missed out on work but this was just the beginning of these attacks.  I never mentioned this attack to him at all but it was bad to the point I couldn't focus on anything and I cried.  A fuck ton.  I hold my friends in high regards and making them upset makes me feel bad, but never to this degree that sent me shaking and had bile in my throat to the point where I felt like I was wrong.  When in fact, I wasn’t.  I was being manipulated and gaslighted to the point of bending to his way and will of how a friend of his should act.  I had merely been myself as I always was, and suddenly, somehow, in front of her, it wasn’t ok to tease him like how I usually did.  My body knew subconsciously that what he did was emotional abuse and it was the start of feeling this “friendship” wasn’t really one since then. I felt like walking on eggshells each time since  I promised I wouldn't tease him after that.  Which I upheld but without that, it wasn’t me.   My bf and close friends also found it very strange when I told them what had happened.  

If only I fucking knew what came next in December.

December, a week or so before the holidays, i found him fcless (guildless).  He was upset.  He told me why and I wished he didn't when I asked.  This was the beginning of many and I do mean many of "she did this and this" and at the start, I was concerned.  I was concerned throughout until I found out the truth.  Who the fuck wouldn’t be? But I digress.  He told me to never bring it up to what he told me that day to her.  I promised not to.  He also tried to make me promise that I couldn't tell my friend in game but that is literally impossible.  I already began to.  More so when the same thing weeks after weeks of him being a sack of shit when really he painted her as the one.  On the 18th, it affected me so greatly that i had a nightmare for the first time in a long time.  This nightmare was graphic and disturbing.  I told him about it after he said he would like to hear it after I warned him it was bad.    I also shared it to my bf and my friend.  DETAILS OF THE DREAM AHEAD, skip to the next paragraph that has “ ****** Christmas”. The dream was a man was attacking a woman and i could hear the woman screaming.  Blood was on the floor as each attack took place.  Each attack was a stab as a knife and I could hear. 

.

.

.

.

****** Christmas came.  I had a Secret Santa ready for my friend group and I was participating in the one I joined that he refrained from inviting me until I pointed it out in game. Needless to say, he ruined  Christmas for me.  At the time though, I thought it was for a friend who needed help/advice and yet, it was just the start.  At first, he told me vaguely about why he was upset and then told me he missed my birthday party in game held at my bf’s friend’s venue due to something coming up.  I’m not going to say what exactly, but he told me what had happened and it made sense why he couldn’t make it.  I understood and told him not to worry about it since there was always the next time.  

New Years came, they “fought”/”argued” (his words) again and he swore he was done this time.  Ha.  I saw gposes(group photos) of the two all lovey dovey in a server I was in with them. This, I think, was the start of my many serious reactions of her being brought up again and again.  More so that he would rather stay with the woman he painted as toxic when he knew I had experience with an ex that supposedly did the same thing he painted of her doing to him.  It just made no sense the more as it went on and every time it happened, I wanted to message her to tell her to let go.  I threatened to cut him off since here I was, being told something else and then he went and post those gposes as if everything was ok?  It just didn’t line up, and it affected me greatly since i had exp with an ex that said nice sweet words, and everything he was claiming she was doing: flirting, crossing boundaries to name a few. It was making me shake in anger and wanting to msg her and when i mentioned it one time, he said don't.  When I got too angry about her, he didn't like it.  He told me to stop or calm down whenever I did.  Plus, he kept saying “You don’t have the full story” over and over again.

On the 12th of January, Narseth and I had a vc (voice cat).  I'm not sure if this is the one I was emotional in since we had just two about her.  I wish i never did vc with him, he sounded like he really just didn’t give a fuck what I said despite a very serious convo much later that he “valued” what i said.  He had told me that vcing is easier too, though to me it was just to hide it.  He kept giving her excuses despite telling me the bloody opposite that he’s done when he told her that he wasn’t letting go.  Over and over like a damn broken record.  It caused me to get even more upset when i was already emotional on the vc. He didn’t care a single cent that I was not in the mental capacity to do this and yet, he had called me on Discord.  I had already shared my experience from an ex already and he wanted me in vc?  When it was obvious that I would be affected by it?

What was i thinking, is what i ask myself in the past and probably some whom are reading.  And the answer is simple: He was a friend.  Friends I try to be there for them. Plus, I “knew” how he felt in this picture that he painted that turned out to be a lie.  I thought he needed help even if it was harsh at times because i knew it was going to hurt.

We had another serious talk.  It felt like he didn’t want to talk about it and my guess was right.  He was too tired so I waited for the morning barely getting any sleep.  It had affected me again, as it always does.  This time, our talk was way worse.  When I asked him if we could, he said “Would it be productive?”  (turns out to be his favorite fucking word after “listen”).   I told him flat out i didn’t know and he explained how it was going good, that “we’re doing better”.  That they were fine.  I felt...relieved, now knowing it was okay, but also some part of me wondered “Is this really ok?”

On Feb 8th, my cat, Benny, started to not eat. I took him to the vet with my dad the next day since he had a history of having hard stools in his later years. He sadly passed away on Feb 13th due to kidney failure after I tried to syringe feed him.  He had been in the worst shape.  I also heard him dying the day he died.  My friend who had worked in the field told me that by the time we hear the noises, they’re already gone. I was shaken up.  I could barely eat.  Sleep.  I cried on and off.  I never felt so upset as I did when my precious boy passed.  I took off work f grieve since I was in no way mentally capable of going in and dealing with anyone.  I was crying at the drop of a hat.  He was my precious boy.  I heard his last moments in my bathroom when he woke me up.  It still makes me cry to this day.   And Narseth knew most of this and yet, he still brought her up again not even a week AFTER or to even wait few more weeks so i could mourn.  I was not, in any good mental state, to hear any of what he had to say about her that racked up my anger, made me lose sleep, and just outright being affected by it.  Only this time, I felt numb since i was grieving. I was exhausted.  I was tired.  I brushed it off to him with “I’m taking you to the spa" in a halfhearted joke.

When I got my house on the 20th of Jan in game of ffxiv (after the housing was now lottery), he told me I would have to tolerate her since she would be building with him.  I said no promises.  He showed me a screen of them two crafting after i showed him one of mine and my bf crafting.  For once, i had no reaction but it wasn't until later that day when he brought her up again that it upset me again. And again another day.  It was building and building and finally, I had enough.

It was the 25th of Feb when a friend showed me that they were in game and showed me a screenshot of Narseth in the same location with the very one he claimed he was “done with”.  This was after he said to me that he would talk with her to end it days ago after calling it toxic to the billionth fucking time at this point.  

I messaged (sent a tell/whisper/private message) him in game and asked him what the fuck was he doing.  He said they were fine.  I said he told me he was done that night.  I was livid.  I logged out and then I then messaged him on Discord after, telling him he was being pathetic.  He told me to stop.  I refused.  I was done. I meant what I said that since he wouldn’t cut her off, I would cut him off.  I sent a message to her right after on Discord, telling her to get away from him.  When she didn’t reply, i messaged him on twitter showing what i sent to her.  I knew he would be mad, and didn’t care at this point.  My gut was right however that something was off.  He showed it to her on her alt discord  and she reactivated her account on discord and told/showed me what really happened.    I showed him on twitter after asking if it was ok from her to post the screenshot to him and she said yes.  He gaslit me immediately after, telling me to go “read the logs” and “you don’t have the full story” when he had every chance to do so and wouldn’t. Meanwhile, I was shown screenshot after screenshot what really happened.  Again, I will not say what was in those other screenshots, but the one I do share in this post from her is the key part where I saw his true colors of a liar.

All my patience was gone at this point.   I was livid. I cussed him out after everything i went through.  All for this called “FRIEND” of mine after I stayed up, could barely eat, listened to his rants, went on fucking vc when i wasn’t in the right mental capacity to deal with it after work, had a nightmare that disturbed me immensely, lost a freelance job of over $500+ that I had to refund after many pushbacks the client was upset despite being very patient.  I had to refund this client of mine with three of my paychecks and my tax refund.  All of that FOR HIM and he LIED TO ME.

The true colors of him finally came out: He said he never wanted my help that he wanted a place to RANT without judgement (when he didn’t even think that he fucking LIED to me?  That’s not ranting you piece of shit) , that i could THINK he was an asshole.  

What was funny, was that Twitter didn't even let me see his messages to me until after i told him he fucking lied to me AND i was shown he talked shit about me behind my back (and yes, I have proof of this happening)- How I was projecting my own exp onto this.  Despite him linking narcissist videos on youtubes to me.  This is so absolutely fucked up.  Here he was, acting like he did no wrong and treating me like an idiot and then he tried to put it on me.  No.  That’s not how this works :)

Narseth is the one who dragged me into this, told me things that I really shouldn’t fucking know throughout, and then blamed me for stepping in as anyone would when something didn’t add up.  I did everything I could as a friend could be.  I tried to be patient and that didn’t work.  I tried to tell him what was what, and that didn’t work.  In the end, I found out the truth.  He tried to place the blame all on me and then he ran like a coward: left his guild/fc and transferred to another server from Faerie to Seraph.

Proof Below 

As a reminder: I’m only posting some.  This is MY side and pov of how he treated me and spoke to me about his lies.  I will not show anymore.  It's difficult to search in Discord when you have someone blocked and I will have to scroll through months of who said what.  I have these screenshots thanks to sharing with close friends at the time when the truth came to light of his lies.

Image below that I have him blocked on my discord with others being covered with black. 

(he has me blocked, so it doesn’t show his info such as having nitro or his old username as it would below from https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/12620128861463-New-Usernames-Display-Names in the “A New Profile Badge For Old Usernames” area)

Below is proof of the video he linked painting his narrative again about her when really it’s him.  I took these in February after I found out the other side of the story.  At that time, he claimed that he was quitting back in March (which is when I took this to show close friends) and had taken off all pics on his discord (icon and header on profile) so that’s why you see it different. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjbm7h8XMm4 is the video linked below.

below is him after linking the above video.   yes, that text in red is my edit when i showed someone about it: that he kept on repeating this “being a good partner”  before this.  Note what day this is: Christmas Day.  

Below is proof of some of the conversation on discord after i blocked him in game.  This was when I remembered “this is okay, she’s doing the things I want”.  Everything was churning inside me: how this was going, how upset he was, but also how it triggered my past experience.  I called him pathetic and I didn’t care how he would take it. He told me stop, as he usually did when I got angry and he didn’t like it.  H's no stranger to that.  This time though, I refused.  

I took these earlier this year before he changed his discord user with the discord update to show my close friends.  I'm the person that vents mainly to myself but when it's too much, I have close friends that we just get each other and know we need to let out steam.  

I have taken out the bottom part since it mentions his age and real name.  

Some context is missing in the next screenshot below showcasing my twitter messages because it’s NOT my story to tell..  This is how he emotionally abused and lied to me to the point I thought he was being an idiot [and he was, just in another way].  Keep in mind he was LYING all this fucking time. If you think it’s harsh, it’s meant to be.

He deserved every word from my mouth hiding it for three fucking months and costed me work and affected my mental health.    I was done, I was tired of his constant complaining, the whining every time he was upset, mad, sad, said he was done, no romance to be found, he’ll block her soon, she was [and he] was toxic, she didn’t do things for him, blah blah fucking blah.  Vent after loaded fucking vent that was the same song, same dance every two weeks or even one week.  Then all seemed to be well.  Then rinse and fucking REPEAT over and over and over again.  Week after week or every other week.  So yes, I was harsh and angry as anyone WOULD in my shoes.

This was the time I finally said fuck it and sent messages to the person whom he claimed was toxic and found out their side of the story.  They were not civil either and I will not be sharing it here since it was based on his lies.

For the image below, I suggest reading the other pic below it first to get context, but this is what he says in that screenshot that sent me into a cussing frenzy “she’s projecting her own shit”.

Bigger pic of the screenshot below, which felt like a punch in the gut.  This was when I didn’t recognize who he was and felt sick reading it.  I was angry at the same time finding all of this out and I felt fucking good letting him have it.

The red is covering the one whom he is talking to which he knows already was shared with me since i sent him this on Twitter.

As you can see above, Twitter didn’t load any of his messgaes until after I blocked him (which is why I kept cussing him out) so here are two pictures of what he said afterward when Twitter decided to load them.

End of proof.

[aurumalatus]

𝐩𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬!���𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝟏

pairing. kinich x fem!reader

genre/warnings. pixelprincess!au (princess!reader x knight!kinich), reposted for formatting lol

summary. a series of random headcanons from the universe! part 1 of many because i have lots of thoughts about these two

author's note. feel free to come scream about some more headcanons with me <3 enjoy!

𝐩𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐚𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

kinich and the princess have known about each other for a long time, but it’s only recently that they’ve really talked a lot and become close (since kinich became your guard)

kinich is a bit more open in this universe because although he grew up an orphan, he was recruited into the guard earlier and taken care of by his fellow trainees and the castle staff. he’s still pretty serious and deadpan at his core but he has a bit of silly in him too 

the maids especially used to dote on him a lot. they would coo about how beautiful his eyes are and sneak him cakes and sweets from the kitchen

kinich and the princess actually had one key interaction when they were children that she doesn’t remember

the princess came down with a bad illness and had to stay in her room for about a week. kinich was assigned guard right outside her room, but she never saw him. still, they used to talk a lot during that week through her door, and she never quite figured out who her temporary friend was.

princess used to be *very* spoiled and she knows this. kinich is one of the only people who knocks her down a peg, and he also taught her how to do a lot of practical things (i.e. cleaning, cooking, weaving) 

kinich takes his shirt off by grabbing the back of his collar and pulling it over his head (idk if i’m describing this well, but the image in my head is INSANE). 

once they actually get together, kinich is the type to kiss the princess’s tears away when she cries (i’m going to scream)

kinich secretly has always known he loved the princess in some capacity, maybe since the day he was inducted as her guard (he looked up into her eyes, knelt before her, and felt something burst in his chest). he doesn’t feel like he deserves her love in return and feels so committed to his duty that he won’t do anything about it.

kinich isn’t afraid of dying, but he’s afraid of leaving the princess alone. it’s the reason why he insists on teaching her so many practical things like fighting—he doesn’t trust anyone else to protect her like he can.

there’s a yearly tournament among the guards (and any citizens that want to enter) that is held to win the royals’ favor. kinich is required to participate due to his position, but he tries a lot harder than he lets on—something about letting another guard win kind of irritates him. he wins your ribbon as a prize, a sign of your personal favor, and keeps it on him at all times. he claims it’s just to prove that you owe him.

kinich is a TERROR in the capital marketplace. sellers love him and hate him—he’s fair, but he barters like HELL. you, on the other hand, are any easy target. you will pay pretty much any price they name, and this irritates kinich greatly.

kinich is in charge of training newer recruits to the guard, and older members will warn them not to mention the princess in front of him. last time someone said something disrespectful about her, kinich had them running laps until the sun came up.

most mornings, kinich trains at sunrise. the princess will come out to join him sometimes, either to just lay down in the grass and talk, or to bring out a picnic

many princesses from other nations are attracted to kinich, but he does not return the sentiment—whenever one tries to talk to him, he acts extremely dry and boring on purpose until they lose interest.

kinich has a lot of piercings, but they're not always optimal to fight in—on days when he expects a battle, he wears a pair of studs that the princess gifted him

the castle maids have a running bet on how long it will take you and kinich to get married. sometimes they try to push it along by telling kinich you're looking for him when you aren't, just to pull the two of you together. the pot is over one million Mora, and at some point, the queen joins as well.

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LADS Sylus: Just In Case | NSFW

This? This was supposed to be a fic inspired by how he has his middle and ring finger nails trimmed in his new outfit. And then somehow it turned into this? It still has the fingernail bit tho istg this is the Sylus fingering Reader in a Yurt fic.

❧ Pairings: Sylus x Reader ❧ Warnings: Jealousy, Self Doubt, Comfort, Words of Affirmation, Teasing, Hickeys, Nipple Biting, Fingers, Clothes Grinding, Coming in Pants, Top Sylus ❧ Synopsis: You hated the fact that you were jealous over something so trivial. Ever since traveling with the tribe, and seeing how they all swooned over Sylus, it was hard not to feel a certain way. Then there were the words Tarna has said to you: "Whoever takes them, keeps them." ❧ Word Count: 4.4k

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Sylus

Just In Case

It was already the second night that you had been in the Grasslands. You were exhausted from all the traveling you had done that day, and when you guys set up to stay the night, you had all but collapsed onto your bed roll. Your body ached from all the horseback riding you had done, but it wasn’t like it was unsatisfying. You had seen Sylus basically winning every challenge that came his way, not to mention the sweet gesture he had made when braiding your hair.

Tarna had tried to convince you to join the rest at the bonfire they had set up, but you had politely declined. Sylus, on the other hand, was a night owl. He had been more than happy to join in and had even tried getting you to join, to no avail. So he promised to rejoin you later when he got tired and let you head inside to rest.

The braid he gave you earlier had already been taken out as you laid down, curled up on your shared bed accommodation. You could still hear Sylus’ voice, speaking with some of the locals. Even if he didn’t speak their language, Tarna had been more than happy to translate. Not to mention, he just had a way of communicating with others without the need for words.

You could hear the laughter of some of the women, and flashes of them touching him went through your mind. You tried brushing them aside as you curled up deeper into your bed roll. Sylus was naturally a little more flirtatious, or at least that was your experience with him. You could only hope that demeanor wasn’t leading anyone on.

For just a moment, you even had doubts he’d be coming back to the same tent you were in. You knew Sylus wasn’t like that, but you could still have your own doubts and fears. Thankfully, those thoughts escaped as you heard the flaps of the yurt opening as Sylus came inside, along with the rustling of fabrics. He shed a few layers so he could sleep comfortably. “I thought you said you were tired, yet here you are, awake.” Sylus’ voice broke out in the small yurt and you rolled over just in time to watch him crawl in next to you.

At first, you weren’t planning on even deeming him with a reply to his little comment; maybe trying to fake being asleep would make him not talk. You made a bit of room, allowing him to have some of the blankets. Unlike the night before, you made no move in scooting closer to him. The words Tarna had spoken earlier played in your head like a bad record: “Whoever takes them, keeps them.”

Why did that bother you so much? It was clear that he had caught the eye of every single woman in the area; the way they whispered while watching him compete was enough to let you know. They made it obvious as well, one of them even going up to touch his arm and speak to him.

He had been cordial enough, but the self-doubt in your mind rolled through it like a dark storm. You and Sylus had made leaps and bounds in your relationship, but you hadn’t crossed the threshold of romance yet. Gods, you wanted to so badly. You just were too unsure about everything, and you hated that feeling. It wasn’t even like you needed to doubt Sylus. He had made it so painfully obvious he didn’t have eyes for anyone else other than you. He was just polite when the situation wasn’t business…teasing but polite.

You decided that the silence was too deafening at the moment as you spoke, “It was hard to sleep with all the noise outside,” you said, and Sylus hummed. He had already gotten comfortable, and you could sense the weariness from him. A second night of having to reassure you would be annoying, right? You kept your mouth shut, opting just to ignore the festering feelings in your gut since clearly that was a healthy decision.

“It seems it’s more than that, kitten,” He began, “You’re restless now. Don’t tell me your mind is causing you to stress again,” you felt his hand in your hair as he pushed some of it back. You didn’t even want to look at him right now, worried that you’d say something stupid. You couldn’t stop how your body responded, though, leaning into his touch like a cat.

“It’s nothing, really.” It was a flimsy excuse, judging by how your voice wavered. You hated the jealousy you felt, how it was settling into you to the point where you wanted to be sick. You didn’t think of yourself as the jealous type by any means, but here you were, absolutely upset over hypotheticals. You wanted to convince yourself just not to feel this way, but that was easier said than done as you were mentally screaming.

Sylus frowned, the look marring his pretty face slightly. You really did prefer it when he smiled, even if it was at your own expense. The teasing smirk you often found was at least focused on you and nobody else. “This is clearly something. I don’t think you’d be worried about making it home for two nights in a row,” he propped himself up into his elbow, looking at you, “My ears are always open for you, sweetie.”

Your heart began beating a little faster at his comment as you cleared your throat, “It’s…do you recall what Tarna said the day before?” you decide to test the waters and see if he recalled the information. You highly doubted the saying she taught you guys was on his mind; it shouldn’t have even been on yours.

“She said a lot of things; you’ll need to be more straightforward. What did she say that’s upsetting you?” He was speaking gently right now, making you feel even worse about your feelings. Why was he always so damn patient with you, always willing to reassure you even over something so trivial? When you first met Sylus, you had no clue that this side of him even existed, and it did things to you both physically and emotionally.

You cleared your throat, “Whoever takes them…keeps them.” You clarified, finally meeting his gaze, “That statement.” You could see the flash of recognition in his eyes when he realized what this was about. He had already seen your jealous side earlier by the river, but now it had only gotten worse. He had been nice about it back then, but would you only annoy him by bringing it up again? It’s not like you two were dating, even if you flirted and teased one another like it was some competition.

“Are you worried about that?” He asked, his hand tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “That someone is going to take me away?” he asked, and you sighed. He managed to figure it out quickly.

“I mean…I’ve just seen how the others have been looking at you,” like they were drawn to an oasis in a hot desert, “And you’re my ticket home after all…” You wanted to kick yourself the moment the words came out of your mouth. You just had to avoid telling him how you really felt, didn’t you?

He didn’t seem upset at the statement; if anything, he was amused. “I won’t be stolen away that easily.” He assured, “Though I must say I’m flattered that you’ve been keeping such a close eye on me today. So much so that you didn’t even realize that some of the men in the village have been giving you the same look.”

You had to take a moment to process what he said…people had been looking at you? There was no way. It made sense for Sylus, and he was charismatic, handsome, and strong. You were…well, you were a jealous hunter. You did recall how he had braided your hair and the way he had mentioned how only lovers should see their partner’s hair in its natural state…could it be he was jealous as well? No, you were probably overthinking things.

“I…” you said, but you couldn’t get the right words out. He had the tendency to make you speechless, and right now, it was no different. Everything you wanted to say had vanished right into the air as you looked up at those red eyes that were so damn soft at the moment. How could you even think he’d look at anyone else like this? Those sharp eyes of his looked lovestruck at times when it was just the two of you.

“If you’re truly worried, you can always lay a claim on me,” he suggested, and you flushed right away. Your eyes widened at every implication that could’ve meant. You buried your face in the pillow underneath you, now unable to meet his gaze for several reasons, “Kitten, look at me. What’s wrong? Don’t tell me your mind went to the gutter.” His voice was now teasing. Screw the gentle look he was giving you; now you knew for a fact his eyes were shining with amusement at your expense.

“Do you not listen to yourself?” you managed to hiss out the question. His chuckles filled your ears as you let out an embarrassed whine from the back of your throat. Why were you jealous of this man in the first place? He was horrible. A jerk face. Every mean name under the sun couldn’t begin to describe him when he was like this. Why did you like it? That was the real question.

“Well, now I’m curious about what you’re thinking. I was just going to say you could ride with me tomorrow, perhaps hold my arm during rests.” Lies, all of them, and now your mind was definitely in the trenches at him mentioning ‘riding’ of any kind. “What were you thinking?” he laughed again, and you let out an annoyed huff. He was egging you on, and it was working as per usual.

You sat up suddenly and turned to him, pushing on his chest until he was lying on his back. He let out a grunt, but he also had that shit-eating grin on his face as he looked up at you, waiting for your next move. You didn’t even know what your next move would be, honestly. Now that you were here, straddling the man’s waist, your mind was going almost completely blank, so you let your instincts take over.

You leaned down until your breath ghosted over his neck, placing a small kiss there before going in to suck on the skin. You felt him shifting underneath you as you marked him, doing your best to make it known that he was taken. Even if it was a small hickey, it might’ve been enough to get the others to back off, knowing exactly who shared a bed with him at night, who left a mark on his flawless skin.

When your lips finally parted, you could see the blooming mark on his skin. It was a light purple one right on his jugular, and while it wasn’t much, you doubted anyone would mistake it for anything else. Your fingers went over to touch the mark, admiring your handy work.

Sylus’ hand went up and pressed down on where you left the mark, and as a result pressed your own hand closer to him; his eyes curious and holding a hunger to them, “Oh, is that all? You know, people might just think I got a bruise from all the competing I did today. Sweetie, you might need to try a little harder than that.” He was still egging you on to get you to do exactly what he wanted.

Still, if he wanted to play this game, then so be it. You looked over his outfit and eyed something that, honestly, was the first thing you noticed when he had originally put it on. The little voice in the back of your head even supplied you with the fact that the outfit managed to look slutty on him, something you adored. Sadly, it was another reason why everyone else was eying him up and down all day. The man was well-built, and you knew why. You two had trained together, and after you were already tired, he continued on. You swore he had even managed to gain some new muscle recently.

You leaned down to his chest and glanced up at him quickly before deciding to just go all in. One of his nipples was exposed, and you were damn certain if you left a mark right there, nobody in their right mind would mistake it for a simple bruise. So you bit him, clamping down on his nipple, and, with your current position, you felt him rolling his hips up into you.

He let out a groan as you lapped at the bud in your mouth and pulled away, happy to see that there was a distinct mark where your teeth were. Your hand went over it gently, fingers barely touching him. You felt him roll his hips again in response and felt a warmth blooming in you when you felt something hard against your ass. You shouldn’t have been surprised that he was getting erect from this, hell if you were in his situation, you might’ve busted already.

“Think they’ll mistake this for an injury with your…competition today?” you asked with a satisfied smirk on your face. Sylus was looking at you for a moment, trying to process what you just did to him, and then you felt his hand on the back of your neck.

He grabbed you closer to him, and you let out a small gasp when his lips were on your throat. He was pushing down some of the garments you wore to give him access as he bit down on the skin there. You hissed at the sharp pain, realizing that, unlike you, he could commit.

As soon as he left that area of your neck, he went to the front of your throat, sucking a mark that bloomed under his lips. You were now the one who ground down onto his lap, feeling yourself growing wet as he pressed a small kiss there, “S-Sy, what are you…?” you managed to rasp out; you were already crumbling because of this man.

“You aren’t the only one who needs to lay claim to someone,” he said as he began marking another area of skin. It felt too good that you clamped a hand down over your mouth to muffle the noises, “I wasn’t a fan of the others looking at you as though you were available for them to take you. I do have a possessive streak, after all, kitten.”

He sucked a fourth mark; this one was right under your ear as you groaned, “Did you not want the others to hear you? I’m sure if they did, it would send a message loud and clear.” He rolled his hips back into you, making sure there was no mistake about precisely what he wanted to do right now.

“W-we’re guests, Sy,” you managed to get out, “We don’t want to make a scene.” And at the rate this was going, you were five seconds from pushing him back down and riding him until the sun came up. You could already imagine the dirty looks you’d get tomorrow morning from everyone who lost sleep due to your…activities.

“I guess you make a fair point,” he murmured as he let you go. Your entire neck was now covered in marks as you glared down at him. You could lie to him all you wanted, but inside, you felt a bit giddy. Knowing that the other women of the tribe would see you and just know it was Sylus who put the markings on you. You were almost tempted to leave even more on him, but he was already being nice and not pushing it. You doubted if you continued to tease him, he’d be okay with just going to bed after this. He’d do it, sure, but he might be a bit grumpy and…uncomfortable.

Still, you needed to hold yourself back for your own sanity. You carefully extracted yourself from him and rolled off to your side to face away from him. If he did anything else, you wouldn’t be able to hold back. You certainly had never fucked him, and from what you felt just now, he was…big. Riding a horse tomorrow would be a nightmare if he were to rail you right here and now. Still, if you were going to have sex, you’d rather it be back home where you wouldn’t need to cover up all your noises and didn’t need to worry about getting up the next day.

“Running away?” Sylus said as you heard the rustling of fabrics once more. He adjusted your head as he laid his arm out, allowing you to use it as a pillow. The rest of his body wrapped around you as he spooned you from behind, “After you started it, you’re now hiding. Adorable.” The way he all but whispered that into your ear had you shuddering.

“I just don’t think it’s the…place for that…” you said, hoping he’d read between the lines. Thankfully, it seemed he did, but you let out a gasp when you felt a gentle kiss on the back of your neck. He was driving you mad with his casual shows of affection; even cuddling you like this was making you yearn for something so much more.

“Of course, I understand,” he managed to murmur, “But will you be able to actually rest now, in this state?” his other hand trailed down to your stomach, pushing some of the fabric around as he continued trailing his hand further down until it was bunching at the long skirt you wore.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you muttered, a small shiver running down your spine as he began rolling the skirt up so he could press down on your bare thigh. His hand was so hot it felt like he was branding you with it.

He cupped the skin there, just trailing a hand over it as he spoke, “I need you to let me know if it’s alright to continue,” he said, clearly holding himself back. You could feel how your underwear clung to you, almost soaking through the fabric. Obviously, you wanted this, but would you be capable of keeping it together, and now that you are moaning so loud, the entire tribe could hear you? Fuck it, you could try.

“Just…just your hand,” you got out, and he chuckled. Sylus’ hand was now moving upwards without any hesitation, and now he had the green light to continue; he was intent on making the most of it. You felt the warmth of his palm cupping you through your underwear, and you held back a moan, instead biting down on your lip as his fingers trailed along the slick that coated them.

“You’ve managed to flatter me twice in one night,” he commented, pressing his fingers against your cunt and rubbing you through the layers, “I’m glad I have this effect on you though.” He was now finally pushing the underwear off to the side to give him access to your pussy. He trailed a finger over the slickness of your slit, barely pressing a finger into you. It hard you shuddering, almost begging him to just put them inside of you already.

Then you noticed the bluntness of his nails, which startled you as you thought for a moment. You swore up and down he had nails…didn’t he? Despite how turned on you were, the question was running through your head, “Sylus…when did you cut your nails?” you swore they weren’t short earlier.

He actually laughed at your statement, “Sweetie, you’re asking me this right as I’m about to be knuckle deep in you?” He asked, and you let out a small huff, “I have. You know I like to keep two of my nails trimmed…just in case.” You looked back at him with wide eyes. Before you could say anything, he was already reassuring you, “I did it for you, so don’t overthink it,” the moment the words came out, he sunk his fingers into your cunt.

Your mouth opened wide as a moan left you, and your cheeks felt flushed; at the angle, you had turned to, Sylus had a perfect view of it. You quickly moved your head away, nuzzling into the arm underneath you. He had the audacity to laugh again as he began fingering you, the digits easily slipping inside of you with how turned on you were. You felt how his thumb pressed against your clit, and you were now rolling into the palm of his hand, seeking more from him.

“You know, you have an effect on me as well.” As if to prove his point, he rolled his hips up into your ass. You could feel his hot cock through the layers, the hardness making you shiver. Your walls clenched around his fingers, “Hm, you seemed to like that. Perhaps when we’re back home, we’ll need to have a redo of this night.” He muttered—gods, what you wouldn’t give to be back home right about now. How many more days until the festival when you guys could go back? Could it be right now so you could be shoved into a mattress already and fucked until you couldn’t walk?

You were now caught between wanting to grind on his cock, while also rolling into his hand as the wet squelching noises began filling the yurt. You bit down on your lip and tried to focus, and Sylus clicked his tongue from behind you.

“If you’re going to bite on something, use my arm. I wouldn’t mind more marks from you, kitten.” Sylus instructed, and in your lust-filled haze, you didn’t question it. Instead, you turned your head and sank your teeth into the arm underneath you. You heard Sylus groan as his grinding began more insistent, as did his hand. He seemed to be trying to get you to cum before him, and you were so close. Your thighs were shaking already as you tried to squeeze Sylus’ hand between your legs.

You felt that familiar warmth inside of your stomach, and with his skilled fingers and the press of his thumb along your clit you found yourself unraveling. You didn’t even realize an orgasm could be this good as you bit down harder on him. For some reason, it felt so much better that he was the one to touch you. Perhaps it had been the build-up, but right now, as you came, your head was static, and thoughts refused to form as the euphoric sensation wet through your entire body.

You were rolling into his touch, trying to prolong the feeling for as long as possible as he worked you through it, feeling how you squeezed his fingers. Your pussy throbbed around him, and the only thing on his mind was how it would feel around his cock.

When you finally released his arm from your teeth and began feeling a bit more normal, he took his fingers out. Your body was still buzzing with the aftershocks as he pressed his slick-coated fingers against your mouth. You didn’t think twice as you opened up and let him put the digits inside your mouth.

You groaned at the musky taste of yourself on him as he pressed down on your tongue. You sucked his fingers clean as you felt how he was still rutting against you. His hips stuttered in his movement as he groaned, and you wondered what he might taste like. You almost wished his fingers were his cock, and he was coming down your throat at that moment. If he had just waited a few more moments, you might’ve indulged that fantasy.

His breathing was heavier as he rolled his hips against your ass a few more times before he stopped and stilled against you. He removed his fingers and went to kiss the back of your neck. His hand now wrapped around your torso in a possessive grip as he held you there, nuzzling into you.

“Did you…in your pants?” you couldn’t help but ask; in response, you got a chuckle out of the man behind you. The breath of air was chilly on your slightly damp next as you flinched away.

“Very observant, but yes,” he said, “We’ll both be needing to get cleaned up before we properly go to bed.” His words made you pout as you rolled over to face him. He looked good like this, and you could see some of his flush hadn’t gone away after his orgasm. It was a rare treat to see him like this as you mentally stored the image away.

“Okay, but now I’m actually sleepy,” you muttered, and he just gave you a knowing look. It was the look of: “Your excuses aren’t going to save you this time.”

“I’m sure you are, kitten, so I’ll just carry you down to the river myself if you’re going to be acting like this.” He mused, “I wasn’t asking; I was telling you. We need to clean up.” You hated that he was being responsible. Sure, you knew it was important, but your body felt sluggish now, and you just wanted to rest.

“What if someone sees?” you asked, and he raised an eyebrow. His arm was now snaking around to the front of your neck, grazing over the marks that painted your skin like constellations.

“Then let them, not like I care in the slightest. Besides, it’ll be obvious come tomorrow with all our new markings,” he commented, and you looked down at his arm, which had an angry, red bite mark. You flushed as you went to kiss it; he had a point. Hopefully, nobody had heard the wet noises earlier; to you, it had been deafening in the quiet of the night.

“Fine…were you serious when you offered to carry me?” you said while poking at his exposed stomach.

“You’re like a feather to me. Come on.” You felt how his arms wrapped around you as he made you two sit up. Your hands wrapped around his neck as he stood up from the bed. You locked your legs around his waist as he adjusted you in his grasp.

The only thing on your mind now was how badly you wanted to get back home, to Linkon, to the N109 Zone, so that you could properly fuck this man.

Anyway, this was inspired by a post I saw by @aeyumicore which btw did you now if I ever say I'm tempted to write something and someone says do it, I will probably do it. In one sitting. This took three hours to outline, write, and then edit.

[moonlight-prose]

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME

➛ 03. BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER

a/n: we are getting down to the nitty and gritty of this man's pain. and he's finally starting to the accept the fact that he has to talk about what happened to him. honestly out of all the chapters this one might be my favorite. solely for the soft vibes i tried to shove into what is already a very angsty story. also somehow wade weaseled his way further into this chapter than i intended him to. so enjoy the humor i've tried to add throughout. (i am reposting this since it didn't show up in the tags yesterday.)

summary: to open up was like taking a knife to a steel door. he never saw the use in letting someone in. but dinner spent in your company and conversations over wine and whiskey is where things begin to take a turn.

word count: 8.3k+ (i don't even know how tf that happened.)

pairing: logan howlett x f!reader

warnings: partially explicit scene, angst by the bucket load, vulnerable and emotional logan, grief, trauma, heartache, fluff, domestic vibes, alcohol consumption, wade breaking the fourth wall, wade being a shit wingman, the beginnings of something more.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER | SERIES MASTERLIST

Blood poured over his hands and soaked into the ground below. The warmth of it coated his senses, dug into the grooves and lines of his palms. He swore he felt it down to his bones. Now permanently mixed with a version of him long forgotten—the man who used to smile.

Their shouts of pain rendered him immobile. Useless to help them, useless to save their lives. Useless. Useless. Useless. He fought against the restraints, the invisible shackles put there by his own hands. Whether to stop him from going or to keep him from harm—he'd never know—but he battled regardless. With a snarl, he felt them snap, his claws sliding free in all their familiarity. A weapon of destruction unable to be used for salvation.

When he began to run he felt it. The piercing echo of her. The power she emanated as they took her life, brought her to the brink of death. He felt her voice punch through his chest—puncturing him in his heart. She screamed his name with her final breath. Called out for his help; for him to save them all.

He could almost see her in his mind, the horror that befell a school of such powerful people. And he loathed himself for breathing. For living after they were taken so quickly from him.

His family. His home.

What once existed would no longer return. That alone broke him further than their deaths. The knowledge that his world—his universe—would be without their heroes. So much of their worth had been given to humanity. Only to be stripped of their lives within the blink of an eye.

And he couldn't save them. He could barely stand on his own two feet without stumbling.

"Logan!" The scream split along his skull, rupturing veins that healed far too quickly for his liking.

What the fuck was the point of his abilities if he couldn't put them to use? If he couldn't do the one thing they counted on him for.

Their blood stuck to him, burrowing into skin that would never scar. He'd never have proof of the wounds that rested along his heart. Forever damned to carry the weight of his own failure—the guilt that ate him alive. For what? To tell the story he could barely stomach himself? What was his life to the lives of those who meant so much more?

Why did he have to fucking live?

He stood on the doorstep. Death stained the walls, pierced the air with its pungent copper tang. He keeled over at the bushes, all the alcohol he'd consumed expelling itself from his body at the sight. His family was dead. His family was dead and he couldn't join them. He couldn't fucking die.

What once felt like a gift—eternity to find these people who loved him—now rang true with the only word that could make sense. Curse. His curse.

"No," he gasped, eyes bleary with tears as he scrambled to his feet and sprinted through the broken down door.

His claws came free, expecting a fight. Only to be met with silence. An eerie echo of nothing.

No laughter, no life, no chatter of students.

Nothing.

The breath ripped from his lungs as a blaring horn spilled in through the apartment's open window. In an attempt to get some cool air, he pushed the couch closer to what airflow there was. The only downside was hearing everything as he slept. Each little noise and loud mouthed fucker as they wandered the rather empty street. He wanted to leave—move to a better spot where humanity was sparse—but the pull of you across the street kept him there.

"Fuck," he grunted, eyes blinking away the nightmare that tore at his psyche.

The bottle of whiskey underneath the kitchen cabinet called his name. Offering a respite against the horrors he couldn't run from. And with a pained groan, he stumbled towards it—grabbing his coffee mug from the counter. The amber liquid felt bitter against the back of his throat. A familiar burn he welcomed.

He may not be able to stay injured, but this he could have. The darkness at the end of the bottle. The silence he found in collapsing drunk against the couch.

The streetlight outside lit the area filled with trash and the few people sleeping in darkened alleys. If he listened hard enough he could hear their heartbeats. Smell the pungent scent of the city as it seeped through the window. He could feel the thrum of New York beneath his feet—unfamiliar in its nature but home nonetheless.

The sight of a light flicking on grasped his attention—a glimpse of you staggering to the kitchen for a glass of water clear through your window. You should really get curtains, or blinds. He'd help install them for you. But then he'd never get this again. A small insight into your life, a peek into what he left behind a day ago.

Your lips against his still seared through his body—your moans and want for more left him breathless. And he had to go and fuck it up. Just as he did with everything in his life. He ruined the good. Corrupted the innocent.

Doing the same to you felt unfathomable—painful.

But how could he stop?

When you were catching his gaze in the window. Your glass of water was forgotten and the blanket dropped to the leather chair behind you. He left the bottle on the floor by the couch, his empty mug beside it as you grabbed for something. Logan yearned to hear your voice. To apologize for how he left things. But saying sorry never came easy and he found that keeping you at a distance was much safer than what he actually wanted.

The ringing on his phone broke his penetrating gaze. He reached for it quickly, pressing it to his ear as you brought your phone to yours. A breath was all that echoed through the small speaker—soft and warm. He swore he could feel it against his cheek. Hear the echo of your heart pounding beneath his.

"Can't sleep?" you uttered, finally putting his mind at ease. He exhaled a deep breath—hearing it fill your ears as warmth trailed down your spine.

"Nightmares."

You watched him stand still as stone. His fingers gripped the phone for assurance. A sense of stability from a past that had already cracked him in half. The sorrow in his eyes practically bled through the streets. Lapping at your feet like the waves on a shore. And in an act so unlike yourself, you took a step forward. You stood in his grief and offered to drag him to the sand—gave him hope that this world might treat him differently.

Logan wouldn't save himself because he believed he deserved it.

He'd save himself because he knew you deserved a better man.

"Do they happen often?"

The soft echo of your voice tinged with sleep set his mind at ease. For the first time that night he felt himself breathe properly. He could taste the sweetness in the air, the heat that clung to his skin held traces of you when you started to open your window.

Leaving you at your door suddenly felt like the stupidest decision he'd ever made. But the fear is what kept him at a safe distance. He couldn't hurt you here in this shitty apartment. He couldn't destroy what good you held in your heart standing here at an open window.

"Every night," he rasped. His hand clenched, the bones of his knuckles shifting as silver began to peek through the pierced skin.

He knew you could see it. He heard your heart speed up through the phone. And with a ragged sigh, he retracted them forcefully—hiding the beast within to present you with the man beyond.

"You don't have to hide them from me." If you turned, you'd see the punctures in your door you tried to hide with duct tape. The claws that came free because of your touch—your kiss.

They should have scared you.

Logan almost wished they had.

"You don't want to see that part of me honey," he muttered, watching as you stood closer to the ledge—your hand pressed to the chipped wood. "It's not all sunshine and rainbows."

You laughed and he felt it down his spine. "No. I think that's only in Wade's mind."

"Don't say that fucker's name please," he groaned. "Not while I have you here."

"Did I touch a nerve? Wolverine?"

Your smile deepened, mischief practically dripping from your words. Yet Logan couldn't help fixating on the way his title sounded off your tongue. The hero name he loathed for so long suddenly made his heart flip. He gripped the phone tight enough until he heard a faint crackling sound—his body going taut at the thought of you saying it under different circumstances.

Moving past the subject was all he could do. All he wanted to do.

"Why are you up bub?"

You sighed, leaning against the window frame. "Restless. Too much energy from the day."

"Not too much moving in the archives huh?"

"I'll have you know I walk constantly. It's a very demanding job."

He snorted. "Down to the end of the bookshelves and back?"

"Shut up." Your laughter echoed across the street and it nearly startled him how normal he felt. How human. "I can guarantee my job is a lot more work than yours."

"You're right. Saving the universe is nothin' when it comes to books."

"I'm going to hang up."

"Don't. I'll stop." Despite his serious tone, he didn't try to stop the chuckle you felt strike against your heart. The husk of its deep nature.

The memory of his touch still rang clear in your mind. How his lips molded against yours, his body firm and hot beneath your touch. You weren't restless because of work. In fact you felt the pain in your feet begin to spread up your calves the longer you stood there. You couldn't sleep because of him. Too busy replaying that moment to find time in your schedule to sleep.

"Logan." His gaze fell serious at the soft murmur of his name. "Tell me about your dream."

He bit back the urge to push you away, to claim he was fine. That nothing happened and acknowledging it wouldn't save him from himself. But that's not what you were trying to accomplish, and he knew that. He could see it clearly in front of his face. But he was a man hardened by the nature of silence—of ignoring his pain until it eventually withered and died inside him.

Changing that wasn't a battle he'd win tonight. Nor tomorrow.

He sighed, seeing how you fought back a yawn. "Not tonight honey."

"Why–"

"I will." Your breath echoed loudly in his head. He wished he could feel it. "I'll tell you everything. Just not tonight."

Your finger traced the silhouette of him against the glass. "When?"

"I don't know." He imagined your touch was against his skin, pictured how you'd trace the lines of his muscles. How you'd lick along his veins for a taste of him on your tongue. "Tell me about your day."

"That's boring," you groaned.

"Not to me bub. I like history." He smiled. "I used to teach it."

"Fuck off. Did you really?" You perked up within seconds, eyes alight as they were the other night. And Logan felt himself get dragged in a bit deeper. He knew he was fucked the second he saw you, but now...there was no stopping the inevitability of you. "I guess I learn something new every day. James."

He growled, low and hungry—pleasure filling his stomach. "Don't start somethin' you can't finish honey."

Silence filled the air and Logan felt the doubt pull at his nerves. He watched you lean into the glass, your scent filtering through the warm air. Sharp and heady. Darker than your usual honeyed sweetness; the taste of it spread along his tongue—shivers rolling down his back. You wanted him. No fuck that.

You needed him.

"And if I want to," you breathed, trepidation and hope overlapping in your words. "Finish this."

He bared his teeth in a grin that felt feral—as if he could taste your flesh. "We will," he stated with such severity. A promise lined in truth for once. "Now go on. Tell me about your day."

He awoke to the sounds of clashing pots and pans being tossed on the stove—the incessant beep of the coffee machine blaring off every thin wall. And Wade singing loudly—and horribly—to some fucking pop song from the eighties Logan would learn the name of against his will. He groaned, slamming his head back against the couch in the hopes that this was all a dream.

If he wished hard enough maybe he'd wake up to silence.

Or to you.

"Good morning peanut!" Wade's voice shouted, another bang sounding off behind him. "I've got coffee, Canadian bacon, and the final answer for what came first—the chicken or the egg."

Logan longed to stab himself in the skull. This quick healing factor became a fucking pain in the ass at the worst of times. He staggered into the kitchen, immediately wishing he'd drank the entire bottle of whiskey last night at the sight of Wade in a pair of white underwear and nothing else.

"What the fuck." He shut his eyes, reaching blindly for a mug and the coffee pot.

"Yeah..." Wade slammed the pan on the stove, a now broken yolk spilling over the edge. "Laundry day and Al called dibs on the top load. Just call me Risky Business."

Logan's sigh was ragged, beyond exhausted as he gulped down the first dose of searing coffee. "He wore a shirt in that fucking movie."

"Lookie here! Someone is up to date on their Tom Cruise movies. Don't tell me you're a Top Gun fan honey badger because I have some fucking news for you. We topped them for highest grossing movie of all time." Wade smiled as the destroyed egg slid onto a chipped plate. "Financially topped. Personally, I don't think scientology allows Tom Cruise to fuck anymore."

"I'm not listenin' to your fuckin' bullshit," he grunted, pouring another cup.

The charred egg was slid his way. "Aren't you gonna ask me?"

"Ask you what?"

Talking this early in the morning made the veins in his throat strain—his grip on the mug nearly cracking the porcelain. In times like this Logan felt the overwhelming need to throw his roommate out the fucking window.

If only to get thirty seconds of hearing him scream on the way down.

"What came first."

He moved to make another pot of coffee, ignoring the chatter that fell from Wade's mouth. In order to even feel coherent enough to make sense of it, he'd need four more cups. Or enough to bathe in if the morning didn't calm down. The sun blinded him as he turned to glance out the window; the air stale and hot choked his senses. He'd never felt this overstimulated before—this out of place.

"You look like you've seen better days in a horror movie. Up having late night phone sex?" Wade grinned and leaned across the counter—his head in his hand and love in his eyes. "Tell me about it, stud? Tell me more, tell me more. Did you get very far?"

"Oh god," Logan groaned, slamming the coffee pot back into place. "Can you shut the fuck up for once? I'm begging you."

"Did you beg her?"

His claws pressed to Wade's smug face—blood spilling against his cheek. "I will cut your fuckin' mouth off."

"I just wanna know why you're waiting so long to give her the Hugh Jackman."

"The what?" he growled, heat blistering against his face.

"Ya know." The crude gesture to his groin had him digging his claws directly into Wade's cheek. But even then he mumbled around the metal piercing his skin. "The package. The full shebang. Rock her like a hurricane—or whatever the fuck that German band was talking about. Cause I sure know she's aching for it."

"Don't fucking talk about her like that."

Wade smiled until his cheek sliced down to his mouth. The sight was disgusting enough for Logan to forgo wanting breakfast. And lunch. And dinner at that.

"You don't believe me! HA! Let me tell you, you're pretty but there's nothing going on up there." A tap on Logan's forehead forced the claws to sink just a bit deeper. "That sweet angel across the street is ready to save that horse and ride you instead cowboy. All. Night. Long."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Yet even as he said the words he felt the lie stick to the back of his throat.

Last night's conversation was proof enough that Wade was telling the truth. Even Logan could fucking see what was right in front of him. Someone beautiful, someone smart. Someone...he wasn't worthy of. If he combined all those factors he only came up with one conclusion. The longer he stayed away from you, the better you'd wind up being.

The safer you'd stay if he wasn't constantly shoving his way into your life.

The loud sigh from Wade's healing mouth shoved another wave of guilt into Logan's stomach. "Look. Ignore it all you want, but sooner or later you're gonna wind up with only your hand for some company and she'll find someone who actually wants to be with her."

Wade was right. For once.

What Logan didn't expect was the anger he felt at the visual of you finding someone else. The rage that nearly overwhelmed him. That's how it should be. You with someone better, a man who actually gave you a chance at a relationship. One that wasn't doomed from the very start. He let the thought simmer, chewed on it for as long as he could.

And not a minute later came to the answer he'd been looking for.

Logan would rip apart any other man without hesitation if they came into your life.

This wasn't a fling. He'd known that on his Earth and knew it now. He clawed his way out of a grave once to get back to you. And he would do it again and again and again. As many times as it took to make sure he got a glimpse of your smile, felt the love in your touch.

"Grab your shit we've got somewhere to be," he grumbled, shoving the burned egg in his mouth and washing it down with fresh black coffee to kill the taste.

"Yes! Now there's the Wolverine I know." Wade shouted, pumping his fist in the air. Logan couldn't tell if he was being vulgar or not. 

"Let's go bang your girl!" A snarl ripped through his throat, blood splattering on his bare chest as he pinned Wade to the wall—his claws embedded in the man's heart. "Or you bang her and I quietly stay at home with the window open to serenade you two with the sensual sounds of Marvin Gaye."

He grinned, eyes flashing over Logan's shoulder. "Directly from Sam Wilson's playlist if you know what I'm getting at Marvel fuckers."

On days where people were stuck at work and students infiltrated the library above, you found the solace of the archives to be everything you needed. For an hour you'd been placing books in their correct spots, labeling boxes to be housed somewhere new, and theorizing where you went wrong the other night when Logan left.

You didn't want to let the disappointment get to you. Nor should you. The phone conversation last night clarified enough for you to know him leaving wasn't your fault. It wasn't due to your kiss or even because he didn't want to be there. He simply hadn't healed from what his world did to him. Whatever Wade mentioned to you in a ramble of semi-seriousness gave you enough of a picture to know what that might have been.

No matter how much you wanted to help him; to make him see that you weren't scared of what he had to give. This wasn't your war.

Logan made sure you understood that.

That still didn't stop the swell of dismay at his actions. The belief that you weren't good enough to hear his story began to eat you alive the longer he pushed it off. Each comment came tinged with pain you'd never be privy to. Agony he wanted to endure alone.

You would give him the space he needed—the time that was required in order to heal from wounds you couldn't see. They were there. Dug into the shape of his heart—carved into the metal of his bones—but Logan wouldn't allow you to bear witness to that. To a broken side of a man who wanted to be better. If only he knew he didn't have to be for you to ache for him.

The thought of him alone left your heart twisting in your chest and stomach fluttering.

You slid another book into the correct spot, silence echoing like a void that went on for miles. Only for the ring of your phone to shatter it like glass. You scrambled for the device in your purse, breath filling your lungs at the sight of his name as it flashed across your screen. 

Maybe this made you seem desperate—a type of clingy that would make any other man run. You couldn't find it in yourself to give a shit.

"Logan," you said—his name leaving your mouth in a breathy manner you regret within moments.

"Oh shit girl you've got it bad."

The pounding of your heart jumped at the loud echo of Wade's voice blasting through the small speaker. "Wade?"

"The one and holy." To say you were perplexed felt like an understatement. But before you could spill the millions of questions on your tongue, Wade kept going. "Hey! What kind of wood do you prefer?"

A loud rumble of an engine blared in the background—killing your ears. "What?"

"Oh right fuck me. Silly question. There's twelve thousand words already written about what type of wood you prefer." He laughed as the sound came again. "I'm talking the tree kind. Got a preference for scents?"

"She's not gonna be able to smell it you dumb fuck!" Logan shouted. You heard an audible screech before a loud rustle had you pulling the phone from your ear with a groan. "Honey?"

You smiled, walking towards the part of the room that didn't echo with your voice. "I'm scared to ask what you guys are doing today."

"Oh," he chuckled. You wished he'd bought a better phone, longing to see each expression that crossed his face. "I owe you a door."

That kiss reemerged in your memory once more. Burning through your body in quick rapid strokes. As if Logan was fanning the flames of something stronger—a fire that you wouldn't be able to control. You imagined what he looked like at this moment, if he still wore the exhausted look of grief from last night. Or if he'd covered it with a mask of annoyance due to Wade.

"I can just call the building manager to fix it." You put it on your list of things to do today already, but the idea of seeing Logan again was too tempting to pass up.

He huffed, falling silent. Wade's voice shouting about the Lorax became all you heard for a brief moment—Logan no doubt figuring out what he could say to fix this. The glimpse of him last night had set your teeth on edge in a way you'd never experienced before. You felt you could sink your canines into the tension and rip it to shreds with ease.

"Where I come from it's only right to fix what I broke."

What he broke.

This wasn't about the door. You could see it clearly in the pained way he spoke his words—each one more clear than the last. Leaving you in a rush with no fucking explanation left him worried that you weren't going to be around if he kept pushing you away. You were something good—a light he sought in the darkness he found himself in—and messing up this chance wasn't going to happen twice.

He'd done this before. He pushed those he loved away.

Doing the same with you only made his chest echo with the hollow emptiness that he'd grown tired of feeling.

"You can fix my door under one condition," you said, effectively breaking the silence.

"Anythin'."

The flutter in your chest felt lethal when he spoke to you like this; open and willing to bend where you wanted him to go. A man had never given you this before. The attention, the knowledge that he wanted all of you. Not just sex, or meaningless conversations. He wanted every piece you were open to sharing—every dark crevice and thought you felt embarrassed about.

You only wished he'd understand you wanted the exact same thing from him.

"Dinner. My place. Seven p.m."

Fuck what you wouldn't give to see his smile as he let out a sigh of relief. "I won't be late."

You smiled, worrying your lip between your teeth—that familiar gooey warmth now back in your chest. "You better not be."

"I've got great timing honey. Got nothin' to worry about."

Bullshit. You nearly said it, but a loud shuffle and a few bitten off curse words—mainly growled on Logan's end—cut your conversation short. A triumphant laugh you could only figure to be Wade's pierced your eardrum as the phone was unwillingly handed off once again.

"I just want to let you know I've got money on whether or not he nails you tonight. So don't let me down cupcake."

"You're betting on this?" you exclaimed, loud enough to hear your voice bounce off the walls and echo back to where your supervisor was no doubt sitting.

"Of course. I'm not one to turn down the sleazy art of gambling." He sighed wistfully. You'd never wanted to punch someone more in this moment; suddenly aware that this is how Logan must feel every day of his life. "Besides if you heard the sounds that came out of our shower this afternoon. Oh ho ho. Something tells me that he was letting off some Steam Boat Willy to the thought of his late night phone buddy."

Disgust at Wade's words was rapidly overshadowed by the thought of Logan in the shower. Naked and desperate to find some release after your conversation last night. To say you hadn't pictured what he'd look like hard and aching from your touch would be a lie. But actually knowing that's what happened left you winded.

Your chest heaved as your body grew warm—the image of him with his hand around his cock, his head thrown back in pleasure, almost made your knees give out.

"Your thinkin' about it huh?" The overconfidence in Wade's voice snapped you back to reality within seconds.

"Shut up."

"Got ya red handed angel."

With a roll of your eyes, you made to head back to your work—Wade's words only served to fluster you more than you wanted. "Don't piss him off too much okay Wilson?"

His laughter nearly appeased you as the piercing sound of a saw went off again. The both of them must have ventured to a warehouse to find materials. You wanted to confirm your thoughts when Wade did it for you. As if he could hear you loud and clear.

"Who knew our man had lumberjack experience?" He sighed dreamily, a shout of what you guessed was Logan saying fuck off filtering through. "God it's like watching X-Men Origins Wolverine. Back when his hair screamed Staying Alive and I went by the name Billy Butcherson."

A cough from behind you gave enough notice that you had in fact been caught by your boss—her glare burning through the back of your skull. The short break you were allotted passed five minutes ago. Normally you'd be fighting your way to the end of the day. Today though...you felt that delicious bite of excitement at knowing you'd be spending tonight with Logan.

"I've got to go. But Wade..."

"Yeah?"

"Take a picture for me will you?"

"Already done. Got my phone set to burst. Which is what Logan's gonna do tonight instead of tainting our shower walls–" Logan's roar of I'll fuckin' kill you came seconds before you heard a thwack overlapped with Wade's high shriek. 

The line went dead instantly.

The elevator wasn't moving fast enough for your liking—each flash of a floor passed sent another wave of nerves through your body. Work dragged on longer than you expected. And the groceries you picked up on the way didn't feel like enough to make a meal grand enough for a night like tonight. You tried to destress by saying he wasn't expecting much. This wasn't even a date.

That is until you realized...that's exactly what this was.

A date that felt long overdue.

You hadn't known Logan long enough to pursue a relationship as deep as this, but that's where things got fuzzy. He knew you. Or a version of you that felt entirely different to the person you were now. And maybe that's where the security that this would last came through. The knowledge that no matter what happened, Logan was in this for the long haul.

This wasn't temporary.

A creak of the doors opening didn't deter you from digging through your mountain of thoughts. Each one more worrisome than the last. You should be terrified that this was it. The future had already been written and Logan was at the end of the road. That alone would be reason enough to turn tail and run.

Then you turned the corner leading directly down your hallway.

Logan stood leaning against the wall, a lit cigar in his mouth, smoke trailing past his lips, and a heavy wooden door placed directly beside him. A toolbox that looked to have seen better days sat by his feet. A bouquet of honeysuckle and peonies placed directly on top—wrapped in brown paper with a yellow and blue bow.

Whatever fear might have lingered in your body dissipated when his gaze found yours and his lips pulled into a smile.

"You're early," you said—desperate to catch your breath. The scent of his cigar lingered on your senses, mixing with the leather of his jacket.

Suddenly Wade's words from earlier felt a lot more real than you expected. He showed up dressed casually. Jeans, flannel, the familiar dog tags strung around his neck. Yet whatever transpired the night before came rushing back with the promise of more.

This was a date. But whether it would lead to something else you'd leave entirely up to him.

"I told ya I had great timing honey."

Heat trailed down your body where his eyes followed. "I didn't believe you."

"I know."

The claw marks on your door brought a flustered smile to your face. As if to say you were okay with them staying. You wanted them to stay. Logan's eyes darkened at the sight, a flash of something worse taking hold of his mind as you pushed it open.

You longed for him to tell you the truth. He wouldn't either way. But the hope still remained—lingering on the edges of your heart.

"Easy enough to fix," he muttered, reaching for his tools—the bouquet of flowers gripped tightly in his large palm.

"I didn't know what exactly to get." He stood in your living room, eyes trained on the window. Finally he was on the other side—in your home—and yet he found he didn't belong here. "Do you have a preference?"

He sucked in another drag from the cigar before pulling it free—stamping it out on his palm as you watched. A heady wanton look crossed your features. You doused it quickly in favor of unpacking the groceries. He made sure to store it away for a later time. One that didn't feel dragged by the weight of his own thoughts.

"I'm not picky."

You nodded. "Feel free to use whatever's useful. I don't have tools though."

"I came prepared bub." He lifted the box with a smile and suddenly recalled that he bought you flowers. Much to Wade's annoying comments about this being a first date. Logan wouldn't push you in any direction you felt uncomfortable going towards. But in an irritating turn of events, Wade was right. Twice. "These are for you."

The smile on your face was worth every dollar and excruciating minute spent picking out what went with what. He reminded himself to thank Wade. Even if it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"They're beautiful." The delicate white lay atop pink flowers that filled your senses. An aroma you'd never known could work so well together. "Why these?"

A touch of crimson began to tint the tops of his ears as he let out a breath. "They're uh..." He coughed. "The day we met I said somethin' kinda awkward."

"I smelled different."

"Yeah." Logan wanted to bury himself six feet under at the teasing glint in your eyes. "That's how you smell. To me. Like honey and flowers."

There had to be an explanation for the way your heart split down the center—as if to offer him one half. To give him a part of yourself that once didn't belong to him. But that's where you were wrong. Even in a different universe, he would find you. You were once everything to him; the person he'd go through hell for. That fact never changed. Even if you did.

You wanted to spill every emotion, every truth about how your heart already longed for him in ways that left you reeling. But Logan wasn't a man to speak longer than he had to. And before you finally gained the courage to open your mouth, he was stepping back into the hallway. His hands busy with a project and mind eons away.

Dinner was simple to cook knowing he'd eat whatever you made. Pasta, some wine, and an old bottle of whiskey a friend of yours bought sat on the table as he put the final touches on the door. You'd spent the time at the stove combing over every word spoken. Every minute touch and fleeting look. As he worked effortlessly on setting your new door in place.

A dark honeyed wood with grooves throughout that almost resembled the small panes of a window. The quality was stunning. Beyond anything you'd seen before.

You wanted to prod and ask where he learned to do this. But the sight of him slightly sweaty, flannel tossed into his toolbox, and arms on display when he carried the door to its spot, left you dazed. Each movement caused the muscles beneath his skin to ripple—face screwed in a look of concentration while the sound of the drill echoed off the hallway walls.

For a moment you forgot dinner was cooking as you practically ogled his form. That familiar flame burned through your body when his gaze met yours and a smile crossed his lips.

Logan could feel your eyes on him—the aching burn of your gaze now seared into the bare skin of his arms and shoulders. And he fought himself to keep going. To ignore your now heady scent—the way your heart sped up with each shift of his body—and finish what he started. If he was being honest, which he rarely was with himself, he put on a show for you.

You liked him.

He just wanted to reaffirm that fact once in a while.

The smell of slightly burnt garlic had him biting back a smile as you rushed to fix what his distraction caused. His ego swelled. Heart pumping with a sense of pride the second he caught you flustered with your head bowed in the kitchen.

"Smells delicious honey," he said, testing the lock on the door a few times until he felt satisfied with his work.

"It's not much." You popped open the two types of alcohol, pouring a generous helping of wine in your glass. He fixed himself his own whiskey. "Something my sister taught me when I was in college. She believed if there was nothing else to cook, pasta was always the correct answer."

"Smart woman."

You pushed the plate his way and caught the grin he hid at the small act of domesticity. What began as a nerve-wracking date became an insight into what your future with him might look like. Dinner at a tiny kitchen table, his jacket draped over one chair, the scent of flowers twining together with the faint traces of his cigar.

A life that felt perfect enough to keep forever.

"I hope you know Wade's betting on tonight," you said, pouring another glass of wine.

You were settled next to him on the couch, dinner resting full and warm in your stomachs. The alcohol tasted sweeter on your tongue compared to an hour ago. He lounged with his legs spread, glass balanced in one hand. A lazy look of satisfaction in his hazel eyes.

Logan had never felt this comfortable. Soothed by the scent of you beside him, the whiskey on his tongue, and the sight of you with your legs curled beneath you. The red wine made you smile more, laugh easier. He noticed how you bloomed before him, light shimmering between small jokes and half assed teases.

All his life he wondered what home would truly feel like. What would having a place be? And this...you beside him with an endless night stretched before you, gave him the answer.

Home felt like you.

He groaned, head falling against the back of your couch. "He's a lucky fucker with that can't die bullshit. What's the bet?"

Your eyes dragged to the door—tracing the carved marks as his hand hesitated to settle on your thigh. "That you'd and I quote nail me."

"What?" he spit.

The laugh that bubbled to the surface echoed with the heady effects of too much wine. "I hate to break it to Wade. But I don't have sex on the first date."

Logan's lips turned up, hand finally against the bare skin of your leg. Your skirt fanned around your lap, covering your soft skin that lay beneath. "So this is a date huh?"

"Yeah." He tugged you closer. "At least I think it is."

"I think so too."

Unconsciously, you toyed with the chain of his dog tags, catching a glimpse of the worn letters of his name. Any other time you'd push the questions away. You would claim that tonight wasn't the right time. After all this felt good, right in ways nothing had before. But the wine made you loose lipped. Braver than the other times you pushed past the line he drew deep in the sand.

Except this time...he started the conversation.

"You asked about my nightmares last night."

Your eyes caught his, fingers stilling against his chest. "I know you don't want to talk about it."

He shook his head with a deep exhale he felt down to his stomach. "If this is what I think it is. What we're startin' here. Then you should know what you're getting into honey."

"I know what I'm getting into–"

"No. You don't." He sat up straighter, tugging you close until your legs lay over his lap. "You don't know what happened to me. What I did..." He sucked in air as his heart began to twist. The cold wash of anxiety suddenly brighter than a few minutes earlier. "What I couldn't do."

The pain in his eyes chipped off a piece of your heart. Oh how you longed to give it to him.

Cupping his cheek, you felt the scratch of his beard against your skin. "Logan. You're not a bad man."

"Yeah bub. I am," he barked in a half laugh meant to discourage you from seeing his grief.

That's what this was. The full spectrum of his emotions scared the shit out of him more than any villain he fought. More than the thought of dying alone one day. The moment you saw them for yourself, he knew you'd run. He almost expected it. Which is why he'd taken so long—put it off each time the curiosity lingered in your gaze longer than he liked.

He told himself you didn't need to know.

It was better this way.

Tonight proved that all those reasons—all those excuses—stood no chance when it came to you.

"I don't believe that," you whispered, your other hand curling around his dog tags.

"Gotta remember I'm not him. I'm not the hero and never have been." When you looked at him like that—eyes wide and lips turned down—he felt the full weight of the words he was about to say out loud. Words he hadn't spoken since Laura met him by the fire way back in the Void.

Somehow saying it to the other Logan's daughter felt easier. As if he couldn't disappoint her anymore than he had. She'd been there at his death, watched him struggle to protect her, and loved him in spite of all that. She called him Dad and spoke over his grave with a smile. Knowing full well he'd never come back to life, he'd never find his way back to her.

Laura wasn't his kid and yet...he knew she'd understand.

But saying it all to you…

He wasn't sure he'd survive it if you never understood.

"The X-Men in my world weren't as respected as the ones in yours. We were heroes, but the humans. God they fuckin' hated us." His eyes burned with each memory that came rushing back. A river that threatened to drown him. "And I always had to be an asshole. I didn't know what home felt like—what...family felt like. So when I got it, I pushed it away."

"Oh, Logan–"

"No, let me...let me finish honey." He gripped the glass until he heard a crack—his eyes dazed and mind lost to a different time. The night that would later become his ghost. "So I left and did the only thing I was fuckin' good at. I drank until I couldn't feel anythin' anymore. And the humans decided they'd had enough of the X-Men."

Grief struck your heart straight down the center. Tears spilled down your cheeks at the sight of him so broken—so raw from a time that would never leave him. You finally knew why Wade never explained it to you.

This wasn't his story to tell. Not his past to share.

"I came home and they were–" His fingers dug into the skin of your thigh in an attempt to ground himself. Claws slipping free as he struggled to get the final words out—the truth of why he pushed you away. Why he should keep pushing you away. "They were dead."

You pressed yourself against his side, lips against his temple as he silently bit back the emotions he refused to set free. What would become of him once they were finally out? He couldn't risk hurting you because of it.

"They called for me." His breath was ragged, voice thick with tears that never fell. "Jean. Charles. I heard them die in my head. But I was too fuckin' drunk to save them. I got home and all of them were...Jesus. The humans called us mutants vicious, but I'd never seen anythin' like this."

The worst part crawled up his spine with a chill that had his claws coming free. "And you. You survived due to your gifts. Apparently you hid in the future—snapped there without even realizing it. But by the time you returned they were dead and no matter how many times you tried to go back, you couldn't." He raised his head, eyes red and glassy. "You tried to kill me that night. I couldn't blame you for it cause I wanted to die."

"That's not me."

He shook his head. "I know, but you have to know why it happened. I couldn't protect you honey. I couldn't protect any of them."

"The humans did this. Not you." You dragged his face to yours, forcing him to see the sincerity in your eyes—the fire that burned no matter the variant. "You did not kill your family Logan. Don't take their shame."

"It's easy for you to say that bub. You weren't there." He felt your touch mark against his skin and fuck how he wished it would leave a scar. "I'm not the fuckin' hero. I'm the man who fucked it all up because he was too proud for his own good. I need you to see that."

Your gaze hardened. "Why?"

"So you know what you're gettin–"

"Bullshit," you demanded. "I know exactly what I'm getting into Logan. I knew the second I met you. So don't do that. Don't push me away." The press of his forehead to yours leveled the pain and allowed him to breathe. "I'm here to stay. Whether you want me or not."

He grinned, tears finally falling as your lips found his. You breathed life back into his chest, made his heart worth beating again. For all that time he damned himself, loathed the reflection in the mirror, he never thought he'd get this. The soft press of your kiss, the bitter tang of wine on your tongue as his hand gripped your hip—his claws retreating back into his body.

"Trust me. I want you," he mumbled against salt stained lips and broken smiles. "I'll always want you."

"Then it's a good thing I want you too."

That familiar flicker of sparks still existed in the air, begging for more. But you were content to stay here. Kissing him over and over again in order to embed the sensation in your mind.

"Thank you for telling me," you sighed, fingers curling into his hair to drag his lips back to yours.

The thud of his heart ran through his whole body. "Can I show you somethin'?"

You nodded, pulling away as he dug into his pocket. As much as he longed to keep kissing you, to spend all night right there on that couch. He knew there'd be time for that. A night where you were both unburdened by the weight of a past that defined who you were. Tonight was not that night.

The picture was old, burned slightly at the edges and crinkled, but he handed it over with a grin. A group photo like the one stored in the archives at your job. Only this time you recognized two faces among the small team of people in yellow suits. You were smiling with an arm around Logan's waist, your face pressed against his chest.

The sight of his smile—wide and unfiltered—made your heart leap. But the blue aura that seemed to wrap around your body is what gave you pause.

"The blue..."

"Your powers." He pointed to the way it ended at your hands, seeming to stem directly from your chest. "Turning them off wasn't really a thing you could do. Somethin' about time being a constant flow of energy. Charles always explained it better."

Thousands of questions came to mind. All of them pertaining to the powers and the team and more specifically him. He sunk into the couch with a sigh, his eyes hazy with a different kind of need. An ache that no doubt begged him each night. Sleep. Rest without any nightmares, free of the shackles he'd placed on himself.

So you stood, nearly startling him when you did. Nothing had to be said about your intentions, or why you held out your hand for him to take. He simply followed. Each step heavier than the last. The kitchen could be cleaned tomorrow, the bottles put away later. You couldn't find it in yourself to care when his hand was in yours and he smiled at you as if you'd hung the moon in the sky.

"Thought you said Wade was losin' tonight honey?"

You laughed, pushing the flannel from his shoulders as you led him to your bed. "He is. We're just sleeping."

There was no mistaking the doubt in his eyes, the trepidation of his nightmares. "I might hurt you."

"No you won't." Drawing his hand up to your mouth, you lay a kiss along his knuckles. "I trust you Logan."

"You shouldn't." His breath was a shuddered exhale at the sight of you pulling your dress up and over your body.

"Well too bad," you replied, tugging the covers back while he pulled off his shirt—leaving his boots by the door. "You don't scare me Wolverine."

"Wolverine huh?" Crawling into bed with you was easy. Though the mattress sunk under the weight of his bones, you still let him tug you closer—his arms wrapped around your bare waist. "It was James the other night."

"Careful," you said. "Or I'll start calling you Howlett."

A growl rumbled in his chest, his teeth nipping at the bare skin of your shoulder as you laughed. And suddenly he remembered what it was like to live. To want more than just the bottom of a bottle and a peaceful night's sleep. He could recall nights like this in the past. A different you curled up against his body—the love resonating in how you clung to him.

It all slammed into him at once.

Although tonight he didn't push it away. He kept you close, his nose burrowed in your hair, and welcomed the gentle tug of a few hours rest.

Tonight—for the first time—he slept.

Without nightmares.

[riiwrites]

boyfriend!dazai who…

a/n : for my love @perfectlyjollyland who requested this ages ago but i didn’t see until recently because i only pay attention to my inbox! im so sorry ill be checking comments too next time, hope you’re well! <3

a/n : also i hope you’re okay with the pre-boyfriend/before boyfriend part, i just thought that’d be cute i love lovesick!dazai sooo much.. more boyfriend dazai under the cut!!

chuuyas version | atsushis version

dividers used belong to @/benkeibear

masterlist | taglist | main page

pre-boyfriend!dazai who at the start asks you for a double suicide (as per usual), but when you give him the cutest smile and giggle and say no, he knows he’s too deep in now.

pre-boyfriend!dazai who becomes head over heels when he first meets you and now has a new mission, making you reciprocate those feelings.

pre-boyfriend!dazai who loves the cliches, the random ‘anonymous’ love notes on your desk when you’re at work or the random flowers delivered to your workplace/home - he loves it all.

pre-boyfriend!dazai who respects your boundaries if you were to tell him to lay off or if he was making you uncomfortable.

pre-boyfriend!dazai who finally gives up..gives up throwing hints and just decides to take his shot.

“So..say, if a handsome stranger who’s kind of not a stranger since you know him as an acquaintance asks you out because he’s given up with all of the deadpanned hints he’s been giving you for the past few months but he’s kind of scared of being rejected..what would you say?”

You stare him with a few blinks as he looks at you with a great smile on his face, although you can see subtle drops of sweat dripping down the side of his temple.

"..Is this said handsome stranger you, perchance?”

Dazai let’s out a single laugh, placing his hands on his hips.

“Ha! How bold of you, though..I am charmed your first thought of this handsome stranger would be me, bella~” He coyly smirks, closing his eyes in what you can’t tell is either pride or suspense.

You furrow your eyebrows with a little smile, fixing up your paperwork as you place them on the desk. “No, I just figured since it was you who’s been leaving such persistent and eager notes on my desk as of late.”

You watch his expression slightly change as he lets out a cough of embarrassment, locking eyes with you now.

“Well..” He starts, then gives up halfway through.

“..Is it a yes?”

pre-boyfriend!dazai who not only is taken by surprise by your response, but his heart does a few jumps in joy as his efforts became a success, making him now your boyfriend.

boyfriend!dazai who has his hand down your back pocket whenever you two are walking together.

boyfriend!dazai who’s love language is both physical touch and acts of service, always having his hands on you in the littlest way and also providing the most he can to his s/o.

boyfriend!dazai who has the reputation of being quite the flirtatious one, gives it up to his precious s/o.

boyfriend!dazai who googles cheesy and dirty pickup lines to try and rizz you with, always ending them in a winky face.

boyfriend!dazai who sends you little messages every day now that he has your number, little words of affirmations and talks to get you ready for your days.

boyfriend!dazai who if he had a tiktok account he’d make slideshows of you two and repost videos of couples relating to you two.

boyfriend!dazai who you spend all of your holidays with, especially christmas and new years.

boyfriend!dazai who practically lives at your house now, but nobody’s complaining.

boyfriend!dazai who has a box of every little thing you’ve given him, so when he’s feeling down he can look at it and smile.

boyfriend!dazai who tries to keep you away from his past, to protect you from the ugly truth.

boyfriend!dazai who opens up about oda, not all of it but most of it since he believes oda would’ve liked you.

boyfriend!dazai who takes you to the places he has the fondest memories in. the lupin bar, the art gallery, the agency.

boyfriend!dazai who appreciates the little things, as he’s not someone who can afford much he tries to give you the best he can.

boyfriend!dazai who always argues that he loves you more trying to get the last word and when you think you have it, you hear a little mumble of “I love you more” as you walk away.

boyfriend!dazai who loves your hands, tracing the lines of your palm and fingers and creating little shapes on them makes him feel at peace.

boyfriend!dazai who can be possessive but in a good way, he has good reasons to be possessive.

boyfriend!dazai who when he sees someone give you a half lidded smirk or bedroom eyes, he gives them a deadly stare that could imprint on their skull as he wraps an arm around your waist.

boyfriend!dazai who constantly babbles on about you at work with the agency, always telling Atsushi about the cutest things that you did the night before or what you did the day before that.

“Ahh..and the way they just clench their fists at their sides when they are angry with me! Ah~ I could melt..”

“That’s..really nice, Dazai-san..”

“Oh! And the way they grab my hand so tightly when we’re in public ahhh~ I could melt!”

“D-dazai-san..-“

“Ahhh, and the way the-“

boyfriend!dazai who ends up with about 14 wounds all over his body because of kunikidas beatings..kunikida says he’s lucky it wasn’t 15.

boyfriend!dazai who you take care of at his lowest.

boyfriend!dazai who sometimes can’t understand why you put up with him, but you reassure him with words and kisses all over his face.

boyfriend!dazai who peppers your face with kisses back and gives you a small smile despite how sad he can feel.

boyfriend!dazai who watches the fireworks with you and doesn’t think of going out just as beautifully because why would he let such a precious thing slip out of his hands like that?

boyfriend!dazai who doesn’t care about himself or his mental health, but cares the most about yours.

boyfriend!dazai who once felt like he was drowning, but then found his light to the surface who has a smile of diamonds and a heart of gold.

TAGLIST : @hauntedsol @hopefulpain @forgotten-blues @ruru-kiss @texas-bitch-yee @lvstyangel @thetizzler @is-therelife-onmars @atlasnessie @101strawberries101 @reesesnieces @suzurans-world @mackereland-slug @heartsfourdazai @iratherowan @onlinewhisper14 @nomnomventi

white = unable to be tagged :(

@/riiwrites - reblogs are highly appreciated ❤︎︎

[lostfracturess]

be my prom date — satoru gojo

what happens when the notorious playboy satoru gojo is determined to win your heart and asks you to got to prom with him?

You've always been wary of Satoru Gojo, the school's resident heartthrob. His reputation as a notorious flirt and heartbreaker precedes him, and you have no intention of falling for his charms.

So, when he approaches you at your locker with his signature cocky grin, you're immediately on guard.

"Hey, how's my favorite girl doing today?"

You glance up from your locker, barely suppressing an eye roll. "What do you want, Satoru?"

"Straight to the point, huh?" He leans against the locker next to yours as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "So, I was thinking… prom's coming up. How about you and me go together? We'd be the hottest couple there."

You stare at him blankly, trying to process his words. "I'm sorry, what? You're asking me to prom?"

"That's the idea, yeah."

"But… why?"

He blinks, looking genuinely surprised. "Uh, because I want to go with you?"

"Is this some kind of joke? Did one of your friends dare you to ask me out or something?" You narrow your eyes, suspicious of his motives.

"What? No!" He looks actually offended, his brows furrowing. "C'mon, give me a little credit here."

"Satoru, we've barely ever spoken," you point out, crossing your arms. "And aren't you taking one of your many, many admirers?"

"Hah? I've been trying to get your attention for months now. Don't tell me you haven't noticed." He runs a hand through his hair, looking a bit exasperated.

You frown, trying to recall any instances of his supposed attempts at getting your attention. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on! Remember when I complimented your hair?"

"You mean when you said, 'nice hair, is it as soft as it looks?' and then tried to touch it?" you deadpan, raising an eyebrow.

Satoru rubs the back of his neck, looking slightly sheepish. "Okay, maybe not my smoothest line. But what about when I offered to carry your books?"

"You mean when you took them out of my hands without asking and then flexed obnoxiously?"

"…Okay, point taken. But there was also that time—"

"Satoru," you cut him off, your patience wearing thin. "I'm not interested in being another notch on your bedpost, or your arm candy at prom. I don't do casual, and that's clearly all you're after."

He gapes at you, his blue eyes wide. "Wait, is that really what you think of me?"

"You have a different girl every week," you say flatly. "What else am I supposed to think?"

"Okay, I know I've got a certain reputation, but I swear, I'm not that guy. I like you, okay? I just suck at showing it." His tone is sincere, and for a moment, you almost believe him.

You bite your lip, considering his words. He does seem genuine, but the logical part of your brain keeps screaming that this is Satoru Gojo, notorious heartbreaker, you're talking about.

Seeing your hesitation, Satoru presses on. "Look, forget prom. Just give me a chance to prove I'm not who you think I am. One date, that's all I'm asking."

You glance at him, only to find him pouting at you, his lower lip jutting out in an exaggerated manner.

Was he serious right now?

"I'll think about it," you finally say, closing your locker with a soft click. With that, you walk off down the hall, feeling his gaze on your back the whole way.

As you make your way to class, your mind races with questions. Why would Satoru Gojo, resident fuckboy and notorious flirt, ask you out?

You, of all people?

But the real question is — what are you going to do about it?

© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or modify my work.

[misspygmypie]

Park Panic to Crawling Crisis

Part of the "Meet & Greet... and more?" Universe Pairing: Lando Norris x Noah, Lando Norris x reader, Lando Norris x Baby Maebry Words: 1617 Request: lando and noah series request - noah getting hurt and lando just panicking or baby girl getting hurt and lando panicking Masterlist

Please do not repost, thank you, and leave some feedback :)

They had planned a simple Tuesday afternoon outing to the park, a rare chance for Lando to take a break from the demanding world of Formula 1 and spend some quality time with Y/N and five-year-old Noah. Y/N had taken Noah to the park earlier in the day, excited to let him burn off some energy before Lando joined them. Lando, always punctual in his professional life, was running a bit behind but was eager to catch up.

When he approached the park the sounds of children's laughter filled the air. Lando scanned the area and spotted Y/N and Noah near the playground. Noah was climbing the jungle gym and Lando had to smile seeing him. He waved and called out to his girlfriend and her son.

Noah looked up, his face lighting up when he spotted the young man. “Lando!” he shouted, waving enthusiastically.

The Brit felt a surge of joy as he started walking over but then he heard a loud, piercing cry that made his blood run cold. It was Noah’s voice and it was followed by a heart-wrenching sob.

Lando’s face went pale and his instinct took over. He sprinted towards the boy, his usual grace and agility as a driver replaced by sheer panic. He dodged a toddler on a tricycle and practically flew over a bench, his eyes wide and frantic.

When he reached Noah the scene was enough to make his heart skip a beat. The boy was lying on the grass, clutching his ankle and crying loudly. Y/N was kneeling beside him, her face worried but her actions calm and practiced.

“What happened?” Lando’s voice came out in almost a high-pitched squeak as he dropped to his knees beside them. “Is he okay? Should we call an ambulance? Is he-”

Y/N quickly intervened, placing a hand on Lando’s arm. “Lando, it’s okay. Noah twisted his ankle when he fell and he has a tiny scrap on his knee. It’s not too serious, just sore and his knee is barely bleeding. We can handle this.”

Lando’s eyes were darting around as if searching for a sign or a guide on what to do next. “Are you sure he doesn’t need help? Maybe we should-”

“No, Lando,” Y/N said firmly, though her lips were twitching with a hint of amusement. “It’s just a twist. We have everything we need, we just need to calm down. Can you please grab some ice from the cooler and a bandaid from my purse?”

Lando’s hands were shaking as he fumbled with his girlfriend’s purse, rummaging through the items and pulling out several things. Y/N tried not to laugh as Lando frantically pulled out her wallet but his panic led him to accidentally slap himself in the face with it. “Ow! I’m hurting myself now,” he yelped.

“Lando, focus,” Y/N said, trying to keep her voice soothing despite the situation’s absurdity. “We need to get ice on Noah’s ankle.”

Lando nodded vigorously, though he was still visibly shaking. He wrapped some of the ice from the little cooler back they had brought with some sandwiches in a towel but struggled to hold it gently against Noah’s ankle without slipping. “I’m sorry, buddy. I’m just really, really sorry.”

Noah, still sniffling but looking more curious than pained now, reached up and patted Lando’s cheek. “Lando, you’re making funny faces.”

Lando’s eyes softened as he looked at the boy while Y/N was placing a bandaid on her son’s knee. “I was just really worried, Noah. I didn’t mean to freak out so much.”

“It’s okay, Lando,” Y/N rubbed Lando’s back reassuringly, “Noah is fine and you’re doing great.”

Lando took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. He glanced at Y/N, who was expertly wrapping the ice pack in place. “Okay, okay. I’m finally calming down. No more panicking. Just focus on making sure Noah’s okay.”

The boy’s cries had turned into soft whimpers and he began to smile slightly. “Can we go get ice cream now?” he asked, his mood shifting as the pain began to ease.

Lando’s face brightened. “Absolutely, ice cream is the best medicine!”

Y/N chuckled and helped Lando carefully lift Noah onto his back. When they started walking toward the park exit Lando was slightly embarrassed. “I think I made a bit of a scene back there.”

“Just a bit,” Y/N grinned, “but it’s okay, it’s nice to see how much you care, even if it means panicking like that.”

Lando laughed, his cheeks reddening. “Well, if you ever need someone to handle a twisted ankle, I’m your man. Just don’t expect me to stay calm about it.”

They reached the ice cream stand and Noah’s face lit up as he chose his favorite flavor. Lando, now much more relaxed and even a little embarrassed by his earlier performance, watched with a smile as Y/N and Noah enjoyed their treats.

Once they sat together on a park bench Lando watched how Y/N and Noah enjoyed their treats. Happily licking her ice cream Y/N leaned over and gave Lando a playful nudge. “You can be quite dramatic.”

“I guess so,” he chuckled. “But I’d do it all over again if it means making sure Noah’s okay.”

______

Lando had finally found some downtime from his intense racing schedule and he, Y/N and their eight-month-old daughter were all enjoying a few peaceful moments in the living room together while Noah was playing with the Legos in his room. Y/N had been organizing some things while Lando sat on the floor, playing with Maebry, who had just started crawling.

Lando was trying to coax Maebry to crawl towards him with a bright, crinkly toy that jingled when shaken and the girl was slowly inching her way across the soft carpet, giggling as she reached for the toy.

“Come on, Maebry! Almost there,” Lando cheered, hoping to encourage his daughter.

Y/N watched from the sofa, a warm smile on her face as she admired Lando’s playful side. “She’s getting really good at crawling,” she said, gently folding a blanket.

Just as she was about to reach the toy she wobbled slightly and lost her balance. Her tiny hands flailed as she tumbled forward, landing face-first on the carpet. The fall wasn’t far but it was enough to make Maebry let out a startled cry. The sound cut through the room and Lando’s heart immediately stopped.

“Mae,” Lando’s voice was high-pitched as he scrambled over to her, nearly toppling over himself in his rush. He reached Maebry and gently lifted her into his arms, his face pale with concern. “Oh no, are you okay, sweetheart?”

Y/N was already by their side, her face also concerned but trying to stay calm. “Lando, it’s okay. It’s just a little fall. She’s probably just startled.”

Lando’s hands were shaking as he checked Maebry over, his eyes darting around as if searching for an instruction manual. “But what if she’s hurt? Maybe she’s got a concussion or-”

“Lando,” Y/N said, placing a calming hand on his arm. “She’s fine. It was just a small tumble. Let’s not overreact.”

He was still holding his daughter as if she were made of glass. He looked at Y/N with wide, panicked eyes. “But what if she’s in pain? What if she’s-”

Y/N took a deep breath, trying not to laugh at Lando’s over-the-top reaction. “She’s not in any serious danger. Just comfort her and calm her down, she’ll probably start smiling again in a minute.”

Maebry was indeed starting to calm down, her initial cries fading into soft whimpers. She reached out for her dad’s face, her little fingers brushing his cheeks. 

Lando’s eyes softened as he looked at her. “I’m so sorry, Mae,” he said, his voice still slightly trembling. “I just got really scared. Daddy’s here, okay?”

“Here, let her hold this,” Y/N grabbed a soft toy and handed it to Lando, who gently placed it in Maebry’s tiny hands, “it might help her feel better.”

Lando held his daughter close, his heart still racing but his panic subsiding when he saw her starting to smile. “You’re so brave,” he said, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I promise I’ll try not to freak out next time.”

Y/N settled back onto the sofa, shaking her head with a loving smile. “You know, for someone who’s so calm on the racetrack you turn into a bit of a drama king when it comes to our kids.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lando raised an eyebrow, a curious smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Y/N chuckled, shaking her head as she looked over at him. “Remember when Noah hurt his ankle at the park when he was five? You practically turned into a wreck. I thought you were going to call an ambulance.”

Lando groaned, rolling his eyes but unable to hide his grin. “Alright, alright, point taken. I guess I do get a little more dramatic when it comes to the kids. I guess I’m just better at handling high-speed chases than small injuries.”

As Maebry began to crawl again, this time more cautiously, Lando watched her closely, ready to catch her if she fell again but trying to hide his lingering anxiety behind a reassuring smile.

Y/N leaned over and rested her head on Lando’s shoulder. “She’s doing great. And so are you, even if you are a bit of a panicker.”

“I guess I’ll need to work on my ‘calm under pressure’ skills when it comes to parenting.”

________

AN: I couldn't decide so I wrote something with both kids lmao Anon, I hope you like it and if not let me know and I can rewrite 😊🫶

Taglist: @eloriis @pacifierbby @landossainz @littlegrapejuice @barcelonaloverf1life @poppyflower-22 @itsjustfranzi @vickykazuya @sltwins

[pshcomforts]

➳ say you won’t let go | pjs.

idol!jay x fem!reader

“i’m so in love with you, and i hope you know”

synopsis: you dream that jay cheated on you, and he comforts you.

warnings/content: written in third pov. small angst in the beginning but fluffy ending! jay’s husband material! not proofread. cursing.

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 1.8k

a/n: birthday post for jay <33 and a special one for my jay stans out there :)

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: say you won’t let go by james arthur

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

2:02 ─────────────|────── -1:29

“don’t do this jay, it’s not what you want..,” y/n’s trembling voice spoke as she felt her heart shattering with every moment of truth.

was this the real reason he always came home late?

she heard her boyfriend give a scoff.

“not what i want? how would you know that when you didn’t even know i was cheating on you?” jay darkly chuckled, laughing in disbelief of her pitiful plead.

“you’re pathetic y/n… really,” he spat out with a sinful grin.

his sharp words pierced into her like a knife in the back. tears quickly ran down her cheeks like no other, feeling her body get heavier as she felt like she was running out of breath.

with a call to the heart, something shouted inside her to open her eyes, to leave this dreadful scene she was stuck in.

and she did so, but she woke up in a different atmosphere.

. *₊ ° . ☆

y/n’s eyes shot open, quickly sitting up in the dark room as heavy breaths were taken.

it was a dream, a nightmare in fact.

tears still continued to stream down her cheeks though as she tried calming herself down with a 5’11 boy shuffling around.

“it was a dream..,” she shakily mumbled to herself, calming her heart rate with its loud pounding in her ears.

the sleepy male took notice of her sitting up, small sniffles heard as she tried silencing herself.

“y/n? you okay?” jay’s groggy grumble of a voice spoke, eyes trying to make out the figure in distress.

it hadn’t been too long since he arrived home late from rehearsals, so his body was still draining him back to sleep.

she didn’t respond though. her throat was dry, voice almost too hoarse to speak with her body still shaking from the horrifying nightmare.

“hey darling, what’s wrong?” he softly murmured after taking in that she wasn’t answering back.

jay finally sat up as well with blinking eyes to get a better look at her.

“y/n?” he called out again, careful in his every movement as his hands reached towards her face, attempting to try and relieve her at once.

the girl sniffled, finally coming to meet her boyfriend’s face with soft tears and puffy lids that showed her concern.

his heart instantly sank at the sight, wondering what had happened while he was asleep.

it struck him awake, eyes no longer blinking from the exhaustion of waking up as he went closer to her.

“hey hey hey, what’s wrong love? did you have a bad dream?” jay sweetly questioned, wiping away her tears while patiently waiting for her to catch her breath from the tiring cries.

after seconds of waiting, he finally got his answer with a nod — “yeah… i had a dream that you..,” her voice stopped for a second, pain caught in her throat as she strived to finish her sentence — “.. cheated on me.”

the male’s jaw dropped once her words processed.

cheat? on someone like her?

his breath was kicked out of his lungs with the frowning thought that he would do such a thing to the girl he loved.

“y/n..,” he softly whispered before pulling her into a warming hug.

✩ ‘i pulled you closer to my chest’ ✩

it healed her in every way possible, giving reassurance that he would never dare to do anything remotely close — but even then, he knew he could do more with his words.

as they hugged, he prompted, “i would never cheat on you. i would have to be the dumbest fucking guy alive to betray a special girl who’s worth keeping like you.”

he stopped, shakily sighing as he hated his dream self for cheating. “i wouldn’t even forgive myself if i pulled that crap, please know that i promise to never make you go through that in real life.”

jays grasp around her body was tighter as the thought of cheating was truthfully striking him as well.

his girls eyes closed to reel in the loving presence of it all while smiling.

of course she knew he wouldn’t do such a thing, but the utter shock of the dream being so real had her in a trance.

“i know you wouldn’t jay, everything just felt so real.” she confirmed, rubbing his back with her hands as she was comforting him now.

the two finally pulled away after her words, tears still lightly falling down her face as the boy wiped them away again. they stared at each other, both equally melting at the sight of their idiots in love.

with jay’s hands still holding her cheeks, he pulled her closer by the tug of them. leaning in closer as well while kissing where her tears dropped, giving a comforting reassurance within each one as he let out soft whispers of nicknames he’d always call her — ‘gorgeous,’ ‘love,’ ‘darling,’ ‘my girl.’

✩ ‘just say you won’t let go’ ✩

y/n’s eyes were kept close as her face scrunched from the micro-aggressive kisses she received on the other end.

with the last kiss being on her forehead, the two tucked back into bed.

the smitten male rested his chin on top of her head as his arms were wrapped around her body, bringing her in closer for a fond matter of consolation.

y/n relaxed all at once, body feeling fatigue in the radiating comfort brought by her boyfriend.

the two stayed in the same position throughout the night, then dawn soon peaked into the curtains, awakening jay first.

he grinned ear from ear at the sight of his pretty girl still sound asleep. his hands reached out to her face and lightly moved her hair strands around, careful to not scare her as he admired her gorgeous facial features.

with small shuffle movements made, y/n’s eyes peeked open at the glimpse of jay in a messy hairstyle caressing her own hair.

“morning darling,” his deep, beautiful voice bellowed while a smile crept onto her face. “how are you feeling?”

“just great, baby.”

the two dumbly smiled at each other as they stayed gazing into one another before finally sitting up.

“last night was something, wasn’t it?” jay joked, slightly laughing at his own joke, leaving her to only roll her eyes playfully.

“jongseong!” y/n exclaimed his government name, letting the arm closest to him fly up and send a smack to the tall man.

he chuckled with the laugh, the opposite arm quickly reaching over to his other side as he uttered — “ah! my arm! you hurt it!! after what i did last night.”

she laughed at his stupid action before she automatically tried to send another hit to him, only to be stopped by her very own boyfriend.

his hands ran to hers first, getting a hold of her left wrist before getting her right when she attempted the other side.

“jay!” she whined.

his arms fully took control of hers now as she tried to wiggle her way out but couldn’t do much.

the handsome boy’s laughs were echoed throughout the apartment, smile widening with his body toppling over hers. he pinned her wrists down on each side of her head.

jay’s fluffy, black hair was now hanging down as his girl huffed out a defeated sigh once she had realized she had no way out.

his lips curled in satisfaction at his victory.

“you still gonna hit me?” he mocked, a smirk coming on as the smile left.

y/n still tried to wiggle and move around but ultimately gave up.

“jay.. this is no fun!” her whiny voice rang in his ears as he felt his heart flutter upon the thought of her.

“give me a kiss and i’ll let you go.”

she scoffed at the oldest line in the playbook.

“jay.., really? a kiss?”

but he didn’t budge with her words, just a simple nod given as he started to lean in closer.

the distance between their faces started to close once he reached further for the kissable lips.

but the girl turned away in a playful manner, leaving jay to pout as he sternly looked at her.

“morning breath…,” she murmured, using it as an excuse.

jay scoffed out a smile, flashing a smirk with her lame attempt.

“i don’t care, i want those pretty lips on mine right now.”

before she could prolong any further, he quickly crashed his lips against hers, not giving her time to think or react.

he roughly moved, pushing for a reciprocating touch but only ever so slightly to keep it sweet. his hands then let go of her wrists, one hand closer to the head and the other on her jaw to kiss her better.

y/n smiled into it, allowing her boyfriend to feel her lips curl as she loved how he kissed. her hands automatically ran to his hair, fingers roaming through each strand in return.

the two shared a sweet moment before he finally pulled away with half-moon crescent shaped eyes.

he was definitely love-struck.

✩ ‘you make me feel this way somehow’ ✩

jay quickly ran his hands to her waist, giving small tickles to her body as she was taken back by it.

“jay, no!!” she yelled, laughing and crying from the ticklish movements her boyfriend did while he enjoyed her giggles.

he laughed along as her hands continued to try and swat away the man’s hands.

“please, jay!” she yelled again, laughing uncontrollably from the continuous feather touches.

when he felt like he teased enough, he stopped with an undeniable grin plastered across his face.

the only thing heard were their giggles they shared as he couldn’t help but feel endorphins run through his body.

after her laughs ran out, she mumbled the word — ‘jackass’ — to him as a joke, causing jay to chortle out more laughter.

y/n rolled her eyes, secretly enjoying his loud laughs. he just couldn’t contain his excitement in hearing her joy.

only she could get him in this melting state.

“whatever,” she jokingly mumbled, smacking his arm again as she stared intently at the handsome man who was still uglily laughing.

after seconds, jay finally stopped with his chuckles dying out in the room.

y/n and him stayed locked in eyes, both coming to a daze of how lucky they were to have each other before he decided he would cook breakfast.

“do you need any help?” she offered.

jay furiously shook his head as he responded, “no it’s fine darling, just stay in bed and i’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

he placed a long and sweet kiss on her cheek before leaving to the kitchen to whip up something delicious.

“my forever half..,” y/n whispered as she comforted herself back into bed. her heart was full and her mind was filled with her boyfriend, and his acts of service.

she didn’t know how she was able to find someone as amazing as jay.

though the boy was an idol and had a busy schedule, he still made sure he had time for her.

he always did.

✩ ‘i’m gonna love you till my lungs give out’ ✩

they were still young, but that didn’t mean jay wasn’t already thinking of a future with his favorite girl.

✩ ‘but i wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old’ ✩

they wouldn’t ever let each other go.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

[bloatedandalone04]

To The One I Love - Part 8

Series Masterlist

➪in which you get your stitches taken out the same day a storm is said to hit, and you and tyler separate for the first time in two and a half weeks.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 5.1k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

Tyler smiled at you as he went back out to make a second trip to the truck to grab the rest of the groceries as you watched him from the front steps. “I can help, you know,” you said once he passed by you again, his arms holding more than two bags on each one. 

“I know,” he said back and paused next to you, towering over you a bit with his height. “But you’ve done a lot today already. You just keep doing what you’re doing; standin’ there and lookin’ pretty.”

You smirked and leaned against the post of the front deck, placing your hand on your hip. “Like this?” You asked, sliding your free hand up and gripping the white wood. 

Tyler smirked right back at you as he nodded, “Yeah,” he answered, setting the bags down, “Exactly like that.” 

He walked up to you and watched as your stance faltered a bit as he stood right in front of you, his chest practically pressed against yours as he stared down at you with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes.

“God, you’re so gorgeous,” he mumbled and you blushed as you let your arms fall to your sides again. Your eyes flicker between his own and his lips, and then you were giving him a shy smile and he wished it was time to go to bed already, because he was craving the feeling of being in his own bed he shared with you and having you in his arms. He wanted to kiss you and hold you so badly. He missed feeling your lips. He missed you. All of you. “You’re so beautiful.” 

Your face reddens even more as you place your hands flat on his chest. “Stop it, you’re making me feel all warm,”

Tyler grinned before he shook his head. “I’m not gonna stop, never,” he mumbled, “You’re the most stunnin’ girl I’ve ever seen, baby. I can’t help but tell you that all the time.” 

You poorly fought off a grin as you leaned forward and rested your head on his chest, your arms wrapping around his middle in a gentle hug that he instantly returned. 

Your body was warm against his, and he buried his face in your hair as he breathed you in. Even after everything, he was still addicted to you. Every single part of you. “I miss you,” he mumbled next to your ear, and you just held him a bit tighter. He didn’t mean for the words to make you feel bad, but when he felt you tense up a bit and press your face against his chest, he knew you were feeling guilty again. “Hey, baby…look at me.”

The last thing Tyler wanted was for you to feel like any of this was your fault in any way. It wasn’t at all, and he knew that. He just wished you knew it, too. 

You pulled away and reluctantly looked up at him, keeping your chest pressed to his as your eyes held a mix of frustration and guilt, and he hated all of it.

“Stop feelin’ guilty about forgettin’, baby. None of this is your fault, you know it and I know it. You think I blame you for somethin’ you had absolutely no control over? I don’t and I never have and never will, so stop thinkin’ like that,”he murmured, bringing his hands up to stroke your jaw. 

“But…” you trailed off as you looked up at him with teary eyes. “I’m just…I’m so sorry. I’m so…so sorry, Ty.”

He knew you had been beating yourself up over this for a week now, and it was honestly killing him. He wanted to protect you, and he always tried to, but how could he protect you from yourself? “Babe, you have nothin’ to apologize for. It’s not your fault,” he said, tilting your head up so you can’t look away again. “It’s not your fault, okay? I don’t blame you. I promise you, I don’t blame you.”  

You nodded and leaned into his touch, closing your eyes as you turned your head and pressed a kiss to his palm. Even though the getsure was small and the pressure of your lips on his skin was faint, it still sent sparks through Tyler’s body. 

Tyler leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “I promise, it doesn’t matter that you don’t remember,” he mumbled, pressing another soft, barely-there kiss to one end of your stitches. “And I’m not mad at you for any of this, and I never have been.”

You nodded again before giving him a tight smile. “I’m tired,” you whispered and changed the subject, which he was kinda glad about. It was twice now that you had become taken over by guilt today, and he didn’t want to dampen your mood further. “Can I watch a few more streams? Or maybe I can help you unpack the groceries and we can watch some together after?” 

Tyler grinned at your sneaky attempt of  trying to get him to let you help, but he was used to your tricks by now. “Yeah, you go get comfy on the couch,” he replied, guiding you inside and out of the afternoon sun. “I’ll handle the groceries.”

A few hours later, the groceries were unpacked and put away, and Tyler watched countless old streams with you until he got up to make dinner, then you asked to watch more after. He wondered if part of you, the one that failed to remember anything, missed those days that you had forgotten about, and that’s why you wanted to watch so many.  Eitherway, he wasn’t complaining. He liked reliving those memories with you. 

When it became quite late, he set you up with a show and a hot chocolate you managed to convince him to buy for you earlier, then he had a quick shower in the bathroom attached to yours and his bedroom. As he passed by the bed towards the dresser, he felt a warmth take over him as water droplets rolled down his body. Finally, after what felt like forever, he knew he would be getting some decent sleep tonight. Because he would be next to you, where he belonged. 

Half an hour later, you joined him in the bedroom just as he was pulling back the covers. “You sure you want me to sleep with you?” He asked as he fluffed the pillow on his side that he knew you’d been sleeping on since the fabric smelled like your conditioner. “I just want you to be comfortable.”

You turned to him with a small smile as you nodded. “Of course I still want you to sleep with me,” you answered, pulling off your hoodie as you sat down on your side of the bed. “This is where we’re supposed to be. Together.”

Those were the truest words he’d ever heard. Yeah, you and he were supposed to be together, and had been for over a decade. A whole decade with you, how lucky was he? Even though you lost almost all those years, nothing had really changed. 

Tyler got in bed next to you, and almost instantly you moved closer to him until your body was pressed against his, your head on his chest. His hands ran up and down your back, your skin feeling warm even through the fabric of your shirt. You felt so perfect against him, so right. He felt like a giddy teen again, like how he did when he held you like this for the first time. 

As he rests his chin gently on the top of your head, he can tell you’re almost asleep as he whispers, “You know I’d do anythin’ for you, right? Anythin’ you want…or need, I’ll do it. You know that, right?”

You hummed, nuzzling your face against his neck. “I know,” you whispered back, “You’ve proved that in the week I’ve been home.”

Tyler sighed quietly, tangling his fingers in your hair. “Promise me we’ll end every day like this,” he mumbled, “I don’t want to sleep by myself in that guest room ever again.”

You nodded, and that was enough for him, but your words just made the feeling inside him even more intense. “I already feel so much better and comfortable now that you’re here with me. I don’t want to be anywhere else than right here, with you,” you said quietly, clearly struggling to stay away at this point as you cuddled into his warmth. “So yeah…I promise.”

“Good…you’re where you belong, baby. Right here in my arms,” he said, then you were completely relaxed against him, and he knew you were asleep. But Tyler didn’t want to go to sleep yet, not when he finally had you back in his arms in almost two weeks. “I love you so much. So, so much.” He murmured, reveling in the familiar feeling of being this close to you again. 

A week goes by, and Dr. James had called Tyler in regards to you getting your stitches taken out. 

Tyler was a bit on edge today, since there was a Tornado watch out, but he wasn’t anxious because he was scared. No, he lived for the adrenaline of chasing, but he hadn’t left your side for two and a half weeks. He had completely put that part of his life on pause for you, and he wouldn’t change a thing about it. 

Still, he felt the urge he always got to throw himself right in the line of danger whenever a storm was set to hit. 

However, he was anxious about taking you back to the hospital, even though it was just for you to get your stitches taken out. He was in the kitchen, pulling open the dishwasher as he looked for his travel mug that he misplaced every single time he used it. 

It was rather early in the morning, and he needed coffee if he was going to be able to make the drive to and from the hospital. “Damn,” he muttered, closing the dishwasher after seeing that the mug wasn’t in there. You wandered into the kitchen, looking as adorable as ever in your leggings and one of his flannels, but he barely smiled at you as he opened up a cupboard. “Where the hell did I put it?” 

You laughed quietly before walking over to the cabinet across from the stove. You open it and pull out the black mug, holding it out to him as you mumbled, “Here,” 

Tyler froze once he took it from you, and he glanced down at it before back up at you, wondering how you knew it was in there since he hadn’t used it in a few weeks, and you definitely hadn’t been rummaging around in the kitchen the last two weeks for you to have seen it in there. Somehow you knew where it was, though. At least your body did. “Thanks, baby…” he said as he set the mug down on the counter. “How did you know where it was?”

It wasn’t rare for you to always know where the things he misplaced were, but instances like this hadn’t happened since you got injured. And maybe he was reading too much into it, but by the look on your face, you were a bit confused, too. “I don’t know. I just had a feeling, I guess,” you trailed off as you, too, glanced down at the steel mug as if the thing had powers or something. 

Tyler looked at you for a long moment, hoping that maybe this was a sign that your memory was on its way back, even if you didn’t know it. “You just knew, huh?” He couldn’t stop the grin from taking over his face as he reached out and took your chin between his thumb and index finger. 

You smiled up at him before stepping into his arms for a hug. You had told him that you were a bit nervous to have your stitches taken out, even though your head was looking so much better, and he could feel the way your body thrummed a bit in his hold. 

Just as he was about to speak, you pulled back and looked up at him for a few seconds before slowly leaning up to press your lips to his. Tyler froze for a second time as he processed the feeling of your mouth against his, the feeling so familiar even after he had gone without it for half a month. 

After a second, he melted against you, his hand sliding to your jaw as he kissed you back, unable to stop himself after holding back for so long. He kissed you as if his life depended on it, the ache he’s been feeling since he carried you into that hospital the first time finally beginning to fade just a bit. 

His heart was beating fast as he deepened the kiss, pulling you closer to him. His hand tangled gently in your hair as he softly took over, pushing you back against the counter as he wrapped his arm tightly around your waist. Kissing you like this felt as natural as breathing. It was how you and he always kissed, and it made him feel a bit light headed in the best possible way. 

After a few more seconds, you pull away with a breath of air escaping your mouth, and you grin up at him. Your lips were a bit wet from his, and your hands were tightly gripping his biceps as you tried to catch your breath, and you looked so beautiful. “Damn, baby,” he rasped, stroking your jaw with his thumb. “I almost forgot how good you taste.”

He didn’t, that was a lie. 

You laughed as blush took over your face, and you quickly covered his mouth with your hand. “Don’t say that,” you whined quietly, burying your face against his neck. 

Tyler laughed too, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and pulling your hand away from his mouth. “Why not? It’s true, you taste so good,” he said again, and you just groaned and shook your head, pulling back to look up at him. 

“We need to go,” you state, pulling away from him completely. 

Tyler almost groaned too, because now he wanted to forget about the hospital completely so he could stay here and kiss you like a horny teenager all morning, but then again…that could wait. It had to. “You’re right,” he mumbled, filling the mug he now had a strange amount of fondness for with coffee before leading you out to the truck. 

At the hospital, you and Tyler were both grinning as Nurse Karson led you into a room towards the end of a hallway. “How are you doing?” She asked as you situated yourself on the examination bed, the paper sheet wrinkling under you. “Any progress on those memories?”

You shook your head and answered, “No, not really,” 

But Tyler couldn’t even bring himself to feel disappointed, because he was still thinking about your kiss in the kitchen earlier. 

“Oh, that’s okay,” she smiled, gently turning your head so she could look at your stitches for a few seconds. “They look good, healed nicely. I’ll send in Dr. James in a few minutes.”

Tyler nodded and leaned against the end of the bed, smiling as you leaned towards him and pressed your cheek against his bicep. 

For some reason, he felt the best he’s felt since the night you got injured. He felt hopeless before, like there was no way you and he would be able to completely restart things, but now that he knew you were still connected both physically and emotionally, he had a change of heart. 

While the thought of you never getting your memories back hurt him beyond words,  he knew it really didn’t matter in the end, because he still had you. 

Dr. James entered the room a few minutes later, a big smile on his face as he walked towards you. “How are you? How are you feeling?” He asked, shaking Tyler’s hand in a greeting before moving to the other side of you. 

“I’m good,” you say, lifting your head from Tyler’s arm. “Feeling good.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Also glad to see smiles on both your faces,” he nodded, turning your head as he brought the light closer to your healed cut. “Looks great. You did a good job taking care of it. I hear that your memories still aren’t back, but don’t worry. It takes time. I’m just glad to see that you both seem a lot happier now than when I last saw you.” He grinned, reaching for a pair of gloves.

Happy didn’t even begin to cover it, but it was close enough. 

Just as James was about to slide the gloves on, another doctor knocked on the door. “Dr. James, you’re needed in 203,” he said a bit impatiently as James turned to look at him. “It’s urgent.” 

You looked between the two doctors before looking up at Tyler, and he just smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of your head. He was in such a good mood, he didn’t even care if he had to wait a bit longer now. 

But Dr. James sighed and turned back to you. “I don’t want to keep you, especially since the weather is supposed to get bad soon. Do you mind if my friend here takes over?” He asked, gesturing for the other doctor to enter the room. 

“No,” you shook your head. “I don’t mind at all.” It also sounded like you were in a great fucking mood, and that made Tyler smile as James nodded and quickly left the room. 

“Alright, let’s see here,” Doctor…Hansen said as he walked over to you and turned your head a bit fast to the side, making you look up at Tyler with wide eyes as a slight smile formed on your lips. “Ah, just need these to come out, huh?”

Hansen grabbed a pair of gloves and scissors and moved to tower over you, and Tyler would’ve actually preferred to have waited for James, because this guy seemed like he was a bit too impatient for this. 

“Okay, this shouldn’t hurt at all,” he mumbled, then began pulling at the threads of your stitches. 

You winced, your eyes squinting a bit as you tried to stay still, but now Tyler was kind of annoyed, because this guy was clearly in a rush and wasn’t going as slow as he needed to be. 

Tyler let you grab his hand as Dr. Hansen cut at each thread and pulled them out, and when you winced for a second time, Tyler leaned back to look at him. “Hey, can you maybe be a bit more gentle? You said it shouldn’t hurt, but it doesn’t seem to be turnin’ out that way, doctor,” he said, unable to keep the irritation out of his voice.

“I apologize,” the doctor muttered, but he did end up being a lot more gentle after that, and soon enough, the stitches were all out, leaving just a red line along your head. “There, all done. Any questions?”

You and Tyler shared a look before you both shook your heads, and he nodded before taking off his gloves. 

“Alright then, you guys better get home before the storm hits,” he said, already heading towards the door. “Have a good rest of your day.”

Then it was just you and Tyler in the room. “I think I like James better,” you mumbled and Tyler hummed in agreement, helping you off the bed.

He turned you to face him so he could look at your head, and the skin looked a bit irritated, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of Hansen or if this was a normal thing after having stitches removed. “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” He asked, wrapping his arm around your waist as he walked with you out of the room and down the hall. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” you replied, leaning against him as you reached up and ran your fingers along your head. “He could’ve been a bit more gentle, but it doesn’t hurt too much.”

Tyler furrowed his brows as he walked past the nurse’s station, and he made a mental note to call later and say that Doctor Hansen is a real prick. “It shouldn’t hurt at all, baby,” he sighed,  helping you up into the truck once you made it outside. The sky was a dark shade of gray, signaling that the storm was coming soon, and he sighed again before looking back at you. 

“You want to chase it, don’t you?” You asked quietly as you leaned back against the seat, and Tyler didn’t lie when he nodded his head in response. “Do it. Drop me off at home and meet up with Lilly and the others. I’ll be okay by myself.”

Tyler shook his head and reached for your seatbelt. “No, baby, it’s fine,” he said, “I’ll get the next one, I don’t want-”

You cut him off by guiding his mouth to yours for the second time today, and Tyler shut up immediately as he returned the sweet kiss. It was short but just as amazing as every other kiss, and when you pulled away, you were smiling. “I’ll be fine, Ty,” you said again, “Take me home then go do what you do best, Mr. Tornado Wrangler.” 

He was about to protest again, but the look you gave him had him grinning before nodding. “Okay,” he said quietly, leaning in to press one last quick kiss to your lips before shutting the door and getting in on the driver’s side. 

While Tyler wasn’t very keen on the idea of leaving you at home by yourself, the storm wasn’t set to hit anywhere near the house, so he knew you’d be safe in regards to that, but what if you needed him and he wasn’t there? You’d been great since the day he brought you home, and he knew you were completely comfortable there, but still…he had his doubts. 

His fingers were loosely laced with yours the whole ride home, and when he pulled up to yours and his little sanctuary, you looked tired when he turned to face you. “I can stay,” he said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

You grinned and unbuckled your seatbelt to be able to turn and face him fully. “I’ll be alone for only a little bit. And I’m kind of tired, so you’d just be sitting with me the whole time if you were to stay anyway,” you pointed out as you brought his hand up and pressed the back of it against your cheek. “I’ll watch your stream and wish I was there with you, but I don’t want you to think about me when you’re out there okay? Focus on what matters.”

“So…you?” Tyler smirked, his thumb stroking your cheek bone. “I’m always thinkin’ about you, baby. Always.”

Your smile grew and you leaned into his touch. “Good,” you laughed quietly. “I’ll be fine, okay? Don’t worry about me. And please, please, be careful.”

Tyler knew you were right, and with a reluctant sigh, he nodded. “I will,” he said before leaning over to kiss you sweetly. “Call me if you need anythin’, okay? I’ll have my phone on me the whole time.”

You nodded and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, then you were getting out of the truck and walking towards the house as you subtly rubbed at your head. 

-

Tyler had been gone for about twenty minutes now as you settled on the couch, a blanket covering your body as you touched your head some more. 

You knew you should probably stop, but it was itchy and Dr. Hansen was definitely rushing the process of removing your stitches earlier. You had stitches in your arm when you were a kid, and that removal was painless, unlike this one. It shouldn’t hurt this much after. 

Still, you propped your elbow up on the armrest of the couch as you fumbled around with the TV remote, and soon enough, your boyfriend’s face was on the flat screen. You smiled as a warmth took over your body, and you felt a sense of pride fill your veins, because that crazy guy on the TV was all yours, and had been for so long now, even if you couldn’t remember all of those years right now. 

It was kind of crazy to see him go from the sweet, caring guy he was in the truck to the outgoing, wild and carefree person he was right now. It was honestly very attractive to see his many sides, and you leaned further back as you looked at his handsome face as he spoke to the camera mounted on the dashboard of the truck you had a large amount of fondness for. 

Then the screen changed to an aerial view of the tornado, and your smile faded a little bit. A feeling of dread took over you, because that massive gust of wind was happening right now, and your boyfriend was near it. And would be getting even closer to it. Right now. 

You knew what he did, and you knew you did it with him before you got hurt, but to see it now was something else. You didn’t feel this way when you were watching past streams, because Tyler was right next to you when you watched them, but now he wasn’t, because this was happening in real time. 

You quickly looked around for your phone, unsure of why you were suddenly feeling like you were about to be sick as you scrambled across the couch to grab the device from off the coffee table. 

Something didn’t feel right, and you were beginning to realize that it wasn’t just the side of your head that hurt, but all of it. Your whole head was pounding now, and it felt like your brain was expanding outside your skull’s limit. 

Your vision blurred a bit as you pushed the blanket onto the floor, suddenly feeling overheated as you tried to find Tyler’s contact through the blurriness. Just when you saw his name, you let out a sharp gasp and dropped your phone as you cradled your head and fell back against the couch, the only sounds being heard were your pained moans and the cheerful, smug voice of your boyfriend on the TV. 

Then it went black.

-

“Okay, lovebirds,” Lilly groaned as Tyler pulled you into his arms outside the movie theater. “It’s late, and I need to get some sleep if we’re gonna be chasin’ anythin’ tomorrow.”

Tyler smiled at his friend and nodded, tucking you close to his chest as he swayed with you in his arms. “Okay, Lil,” he mumbled, “Have a good night.”

Lilly nodded at you and Tyler. “I’ll see you both tomorrow,” she said, looking back to the street to check the traffic. “You guys get some sleep, yeah? No stayin’ up late doing…whatever.” She cringed before smiling and quickly walking across the street once it was clear for her to do so. 

You blushed and buried your face against Tyler’s neck, murmuring, “Take me home, Ty,”

Tyler hummed, leaning down to press a deep kiss to your lips, holding you tight against his body. “Oh, I will, baby,” he said back, peppering your face with quick kisses just as a few raindrops started to fall. He pulled away and looked up at the sky, blinking quickly as the rain dropped onto his face. “It wasn’t supposed to rain tonight. You stay right here, babe, I’ll go get the truck.” He stated, guiding you to stand closer to the doors of the theater so you were out of the rain. 

“I can get a little wet, baby,” you teased, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “But you’re hot when you’re a gentleman, so I’ll do as I’m told.”

Tyler grinned and placed another soft kiss to your lips before pulling away. “You just stay out of trouble, yeah?” He teased back as he stepped out into the rain that hadn’t quite picked up yet. “Love you.”

“Love you,” you called back, smiling as you watched him walk quickly down the street. 

As you waited, the air became a bit thicker, an indication that a storm was on its way, but not just a rain storm. No, you’d been in enough storms to know that this was much bigger than rain, and you were proven right when the woman next to you, who was also seeking shelter from the cold drops of water, began panicking as she looked at her phone. 

You didn’t need to see the screen to know what she was reading, the loud alarm that sounded through the device told you that it was a tornado warning. 

Then everyone on the street started to panic, except for you. You knew better than to freak out at a time like this.

As you stepped away from the doors, you heard the unmistakable sound of a girl crying, and when you looked to your right, you saw a kid standing in the rain, tears falling down her rosy cheeks.  Without thinking, you quickly made your way over to her, kneeling down on the sidewalk as you gently grabbed her arms. “Hey, it’s okay,” you said, instantly becoming soaked as you looked around for anyone that shared any of the girl’s features. “Where’s your mom, huh? Or your dad?” 

She shrugged as she sobbed and clung to your shirt. “I don’t know!”

You furrowed your brows, feeling a sense of protectiveness over the young girl, who looked no more than five. “Hey, it’s okay,” you said again. “I’m gonna stay with you, okay? We’re gonna…” you trailed off as you looked behind her at the bricked wall of the theater. It was cracking with each passing second from the force of the wind and rain, and before you could get out another word, it began to collapse. 

Without hesitating, you shoved the girl away from you just as the bricks shot out everywhere, the whole wall breaking apart and raining debris down onto the sidewalk. A burning sensation took over your body as a brick slammed right into your head, and you fell back before you could process what had happened. 

Then your vision faded to black, and your eyes shut.

-

2 more parts left...thank you for reading x

[astermath]

title taken ✧*

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

summary: ethan makes an offhand comment about potentially “dying a virgin”. you ask him if he’d like you to help with that. and how could he possibly refuse?

word count: 3.8K

notes: first time fully writing smut on this blog! I hope I did okay lol I probs got a bit carried away,, I remember hearing his comment in the movie and being like I VOLUNTEER I CAN HELP lmao, anyways,,, comments / reblogs are highly appreciated, and requests are open! lmk if you’d like to be added to the tag list for further ethan landry related content!

warnings: cursing, protected sex, oral (f and m receiving), ethan realizing how much he loves going down on you lol, MINORS DNI!!!! normal sized font below!

notes: guys hot take but I think ethan is a boobs guy, but what do you think? sound off in the comments ethan nation

P.S.: this is a REPOST with some slight edits, sorry for the inconvenience!!

You distinctly remember the moment when Ethan made that comment.

You were all sitting outside, discussing your theories as to who the Ghostface killer could be and who you guys should be watching out for. When Ethan realized he was part of the core friend group, and as a result, also a target, he looked panicked.

“Am I gonna die a virgin?”

It was an offhand comment that no one paid much attention to, it seemed like everyone pretty much expected that from him. But you didn’t. Sure, he was a total dork, and really bad at talking to girls, but he was a pretty boy. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t considered hooking up with him before, but… That comment truly solidified the thought for you.

The two of you were sat on the couch of Chad and Ethan’s shared dorm. Despite Mindy telling you she didn’t trust him and that you shouldn’t be hanging out alone with him, you did very much need his tutoring. You’d rather get killed by Ghostface than have to retake econ.

But you couldn’t focus on the material. Not when Ethan’s virgin comment was making all kinds of images appear in your mind. You weren’t even listening to what he was saying, your brain having a field day with the thought of you taking that title away from him.

“Hey, Ethan.” You finally spoke up, looking away from your notes.

“Yeah?” He looked at you, the end of his pen held to his lips. He always had a habit of biting his pen when he got distracted.

“Are you really a virgin?”

The bluntness of your out of the blue question completely took him out of it. His eyes widened and he just sort of froze up, like his brain short circuited. You could tell he started blushing, and god did it look adorable.

“U-Uhm…” He put down his pen and tried to look anywhere but where your eyes were. Frankly, he was a bit embarrassed about it. He’d never even had a girlfriend, let alone have sex before, and as much as Chad tried to get him involved with girls he always struggled with it. Not just because of how awkward he generally was.

But because he had a crush on you already.

No one knew, not even his roommate, but lately he’d been struggling with keeping it to himself, especially as the two of you had been hanging out more on your own. There were so many moments where he just wanted to be closer to you, move all these papers aside and just kiss you right then and there.

His eyes were fixated on his laptop as he swallowed hard, clearly nervous about the whole ordeal. “Uhm… Yeah. I am…” He brought up a hand to scratch at the back of his neck, trying to keep his hands busy so his nerves wouldn’t show as much. “Just… Never got around to it.” He chuckled nervously.

You closed your laptop, realizing you’d made the poor boy uncomfortable with your sudden interest in his sex life. Or, well, lack there of. “Hey, it’s okay! It’s nothing to be ashamed about, there’s no, like, expiration date on when you have to fuck someone…” You tried to make him feel a bit better.

Ethan nodded awkwardly, genuinely wishing this couch would just swallow him whole so he could disappear. The girl he liked knew he was a virgin loser with no game, there was no way you were ever going to want him now.

The two of you sat in silence for a bit, Ethan wondering if it was too late to jump out a window and forget this ever happened. You, however, had a different turn of events in mind.

“Do you want me to help with that?”

Those words made Ethan look up from his laptop and his eyes widen. If your previous question was a pitch, this one was a home run. He wasn’t even completely sure if you actually asked that or if he imagined it, until he met your gaze. But he wanted to be sure his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. “W-What?”

You shuffled a little closer, legs touching his, putting a hand on his thigh and leaning in slightly. “Do you want me to take your virginity?”

Ethan can feel blood rush to his cock from the question alone, his gaze darting from your lips back up to your eyes. If this was a dream, it was definitely the best one he’s had so far.

“Yes.”

Your lips meet his only a second after his reply, the book on his lap falling to the floor as you both lean in at the same time. You could tell he was nervous, but that didn’t stop him from trying. You tilted your head to the side and opened your mouth slightly to run your tongue across his bottom lip, an action that elicited a slight whimper from him.

His arms snaked around your waist and you raised yourself up onto his lap. A hand soon found its place in his curls, tugging gently to tilt his head back as your lips traveled down to his jaw, then to his neck, peppering gentle kisses and love bites on the way.

“S-Shit…” He spoke between hot breaths, one of his hands now resting on the soft flesh of your thigh, squeezing slightly whenever your teeth would bite down on his sensitive skin.

You giggle softly at how sensitive he was, lips sucking a darker mark on the spot below his ear. His hips were shifting beneath you, and even through multiple layers of clothing, you could tell he was getting harder by the second. You pulled back, hands coming up to cup his pretty face. He was already panting a bit, cheeks tinged pink from all this newfound excitement. “You look so pretty...” You press another soft kiss to his lips. “This okay?”

Ethan looks up at you with an almost desperate look in those doe eyes of his, nodding at your question. As much as you wanted to fuck him right then and there, Ethan deserved to be taken care of a little, especially since this was his first time experiencing most of this.

“Good, good...” Your thumb rubs gently across the soft skin of his cheek. “Wanna... Take this to the bedroom?”

“Please.” He breathes out against your lips.

The walk, or almost run to his bedroom, was a blur in your mind. You wasted no time, quickly getting inside and locking the door behind you both. Ethan was eager now that this was finally feeling real, hands swiftly finding your hips again and pulling you in for a passionate kiss.

“Hmm... Someone’s excited...” You mumbled in between kisses, stumbling backwards onto the bed until your back hit the mattress. Ethan held himself above you, brown curls perfectly framing his face as he admired how beautiful you looked on his bed.

He kissed you again, tongues playing with one another as his confidence was spurred on by his pure exhilaration. “Been... Wanting to do this forever...” He spoke against your lips as your hands searched for the hem of his shirt. “With you...” He pulled his shirt off in a hurry, diving back to meet your neck, pressing feverish kisses to your skin.

“Yeah?” You bit your lip, hand coming up to further push him into the crook where your shoulder and neck met. You let out a soft mewl when he bit down, wondering if he’d imagined this before. One of your hands moved over his chest, nails raking over the skin and undoubtedly leaving red lines in their wake. They travelled over his abs, down to his crotch, palming slightly, which earned a delicious groan from him.

You tilt your head to kiss the side of his head and get his attention to meet your gaze. His eyes find yours, half lidded, pupils blown out like he was high off the moment. ���Me too.” You say, and you could swear it activated something in him when you did.

His hands start roaming under your shirt, and you take that as your cue to take yours off too. He stops for a moment, purely to admire the newly exposed parts of your body. Sure, he’d snuck glances at your chest when you wore tighter shirts, or when the collar would dip down just enough to give him a peek. But he only imagined touching your tits, how soft they were, how well you’d react to his hands.

His hand reached out and he gently cupped your breast, still a little careful. “So soft...” He mumbled to himself, his thumb slowly rolling over your nipple, almost teasingly so. You whined softly, arching your back a little into his touch. His other hand joined in and he squeezed them a bit, seemingly entranced by just how soft and pleasant they felt. Like they were made to be held by him.

He leaned down to your chest and looked up at you with puppy eyes. He could ask you to rob a bank with those eyes, and you’d do it. You just hoped he didn’t realize how you weak you were to that look.

“Can I?” He licked his lips.

“Y-Yeah, Ethan, anything...” You rubbed your thighs together. You knew he was just taking things slow, for both of your sakes, but god it felt like he was teasing you so badly.

He licked your nipple, a little hesitant, but he took the hand in his hair as a sign that he could continue. He wrapped his lips around the sensitive bud and suckled softly, closing his eyes as his fingers played around with your other nipple. You swore he was getting off on just sucking and touching your tits, noticing slight movements of his hips grinding into the bed.

He let go with an audible ‘pop’, earning a delicious whimper from you.

“E-Ethan...” You whined, catching your bottom lip under your teeth.

“Yeah...?” He hoped he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

“Touch me...” You spread your thighs a little more. “Please?”

“O-Oh, right... Sorry, I just... Got a little caught up in the moment.” He chuckled nervously and you did the same. You were glad there was still an air of lightness surrounding the whole ordeal. The last thing you’d want was for him to feel judged or uncomfortable.

He moved back a little between your thighs, hands exploring the soft skin of your legs with a pleased hum. He’d dreamt about moments like these so many times, ever since you became part of the friend group, he just couldn’t stop imagining what it was like. What you’d feel like, what you’d sound like... He was still processing a little that it was all actually happening.

His hand hesitatingly moved over your inner thigh, bringing a finger to gently trace over the fabric of your panties. His eyes widened a little at what he felt; you were soaked. He felt a little more confident in knowing he did that to you, but also a little shocked. “You’re... So wet...”

You brought up your hands to cover your face. You were, yes, but the way he was saying it made you all the more conscious about the effects he was having on your body. “Ethan... That’s-- You can’t...”

He grinned slightly at your reaction. He never knew you could get shy like this, you were usually such an open person. “Alright, let me just...” His fingers dipped under the waistband of your panties. He bit his lip when he discovered the hot wetness there, gently running over your slicked folds. “Is this okay?” he looked up at you.

“Mhm...” You nodded, your thighs twitching slightly when his finger grazed over your clit. “F-Fuck, yes... There, keep... Keep doing that.” You felt a little guilty for a second, remembering this was supposed to be about him. But you were doing him a favor, really, he was bound to have to find out how to touch a girl sooner or later.

His middle finger ran gentle and slow circles over your clit as his other hand kept busy running up and down your thigh. He stopped for a moment, hooking his finger around the elastic of your panties, looking at you for approval to take them off. You said something along the lines of “go ahead” between your whimpers, so he gently removed them from your body.

Again, he was taken aback by how beautiful you were, pussy glistening with juices. “God...” His thumb ran over your clit and you shivered slightly, having missed his touch, even if it was just for a few moments.

An idea sprung alive in his head, something he’d thought about many times before. “Hey, uhm... Can I...” He seemed nervous about proposing it.

“Hm? What is it Ethan?” You propped yourself up slightly onto your elbows, looking at him.

“Can I go down on you?” He paused for a moment, swallowing. “I, uh... I’ve always wanted to try that.”

You smiled at his request. Usually, the first thing guys would want is for a girl to go down on them, but you supposed Ethan wanted to explore all the options a little first. And maybe he wanted this to last longer than he would with your mouth on him. “Y-Yeah, sure...”

He smiled back, arms now on both sides of your thighs as he leaned his head down closer to your aching core. His hot breath hit your pussy, and you resisted the urge to just pull him closer. Instead, you ran your fingers over his scalp with an encouraging nudge. He stuck out his tongue, running it flat over the entirety of your wetness, humming at the taste.

You squirmed when he reached your clit, and his hands came up to settle on your thighs. He flicked his tongue and you moaned, almost obscenely, at the action. “F-Fuck!” He did it again, and your thighs started clamping down on him. “Jesus, Ethan...” He brought his lips down onto the needy bundle of nerves and suckled gently. Your head threw back as his tongue sent waves of warm tingles through your entire body.

“A-Are you sure this is your first time?” You spoke breathily through your moans and it only spurred him on further. He looked up at you with those all too familiar puppy eyes, tongue eagerly lapping at your juices. He moaned into your cunt, rutting into the bed slightly, fuck it felt good to please you.

You felt a familiar knot start to form in your stomach, hips moving against Ethan’s face as you mumbled his name over your whimpers. He sucked down on your clit again and that sent you over the edge, hand gripping his curls as you became undone beneath him. You rode it out on his face a bit before you relaxed back onto the mattress, thighs trembling in the aftermath of your orgasm. “Holy shit... Ethan...”

He slowly got up, using the back of his hand to wipe his mouth clean. “I hope I did alright.” He smiled, gently stroking your leg.

“Are you kidding me?” you spoke up after finally catching your breath. “You did so well baby.” You propped yourself up and he leaned down to kiss you, letting you taste your own juices on his tongue. Your hands went to his pants in the meantime, working on undoing his belt. “If you’d just… Help me out with those…” You smiled against his lips. “I could return the favor.”

He wasted no time in taking off his pants, kicking them off the bed until he was left in just his boxers. He kneeled on the mattress, his hard-on straining against the fabric of his underwear. You leaned forward onto your elbows, and he swore just the sight of you like that would have finished him off.

You leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his bulge through the fabric, and you noticed a twitch from his cock in return. “Been wanting to know what you taste like for months…” You mumbled, hooking your fingers over the waistband of his underwear to free his throbbing cock. The tip was already dripping with pre-cum, proof of just how worked up he got from eating you out earlier.

“Just relax, ‘kay?” You looked up at him and offered a sultry smile, to which he nodded. You reached out and with a gentle grip, pumped his length a few times. He bit his lip, suppressing a groan. God your hand felt so much better than his…

You leaned in and licked across the tip, collecting the bead of pre-cum on your tongue and savoring it. “Such a pretty cock too…” You licked up the length of him and he hissed through his teeth, hand landing gently on the back of your head. Not pushing, not pulling, just wanting to touch you.

He whined out your name when you suckled on the tip, looking down at you with desperate and needy eyes. “Fuck… T-That feels… So fucking good oh my god…” His hand moves over to your jaw, so you’re looking up at him now, and the eye contact doesn’t break, not even once.

His breathing picks up when you start to bob your head, but he stops you before you go deeper, pulling out of your mouth. “Shit, sorry, was that too far?” You look at him with a worried expression.

“No, no, not at all, it’s just… I wanna last longer.” He looked a bit embarrassed, and you felt a sense of pride of almost making him cum just from giving him head for a bit.

“That’s okay,” You got up to your knees and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I’m starting to get impatient anyways,” His breath hitched when you traced your fingers over his length again. “Need you inside me…”

You gave him a slight push so he sat down on the bed as you leaned over to grab a condom from the pocket of your discarded shorts. You rolled it over his cock, a snug fit, as expected, and your eyes went back to his face. He watched your pussy hover over his length, mentally preparing himself. If you going down on him felt that incredible, then this was about to be an out of body experience.

You put one hand on his chest to stabilize yourself, and reached one hand under to run his tip between your folds, lubing him up with your juices. “You ready?”

He nodded, hands coming up to gently rest on your hips. With that, you sank down onto his cock, slowly but steadily taking him inch by inch. Both of you moaned in unison at the joining of your bodies, neither of you imagining it would feel quite like this. You, surprised by the stretch he gave your cunt, him, surprised by your warmth and tightness.

“Fuck…” You sighed out, before you fully took his length, skin meeting skin with an audible clap. “So... Deep...” You put both of your hands on his chest, leaning forward a little. “Feels good, huh? You fit inside me so perfectly...”

“Shit...” He squeezes your hips harder, not enough to bruise, at least not yet. “So tight...” Ethan moves his hips up a little and you moan at the movement, the head of his cock grazing a very special spot inside you.

“F-Fuck, Ethan, hold on... J-Just...” You raised your hips, almost pulling him out completely.

“Let me...” You lowered again, ass meeting his hips. “Take care of you...” You started to establish a steady rhythm, Ethan watching your body move in complete fascination. You were gorgeous, tits bouncing, making the prettiest noises. Any guy would kill to have you on him like that, and he was no exception.

Your thighs started burning a little after a while, and he could tell as your movements got less intense. But you felt so good, every single change in motion sent jolts of pleasure through his body, his cock twitching whenever you would moan out his name.

He decided to keep chasing this high and take the reigns, putting a hand on your lower back and getting up, laying you down on the mattress as he pulled out.

“E-Ethan! What are you-- o-oh my god--” Your sentence got cut off by him sliding back inside you, his arms resting besides your body. You didn’t expect this more... Initiative-taking side of him, but it was welcome either way. You hooked your legs around his hips to pull him in closer, arms resting over his shoulders.

He quickly began thrusting, hips snapping forward, the room filled with the almost pornographic sounds coming from the two of you. He looked at you, curls sticking to his sweaty forehead, mouth slightly agape. You pulled him in by his shoulders to capture his lips, moaning into his mouth as he picked up the pace.

“Fuck... ‘M close... So close...” He spoke through heavy pants, head now buried into your neck.

“Me too baby, me too, holy shit don’t stop... D-Don’t stop!” You felt the hot coil in your stomach get to a breaking point, the bed rocking slightly with Ethan’s movements as you started repeating his name between your moans.

Ethan’s hips pushed into you one last time, cock twitching as he came, filling the condom nearly to its brim. He groaned your name into your neck, breath hot against your love bite covered skin.

You followed right after, legs clamping down on him, your pussy clenching onto his cock and milking every last drop out of him. Your thighs trembled as you panted, holding him close as he rode out his orgasm with a few last sloppy thrusts.

His body collapsed on top of you, the weight almost comforting, and you wrapped your arms around him, pressing a kiss to his head. He moved his head to kiss you lazily, and you chuckled at how adorable he was being. He pressed a few kisses to your lips, eyes fluttering open soon after.

“Thank you...” He smiled sleepily, still coming down from the amazing high he’d experienced just then. “That was... Amazing...”

“Could say the same to you...” You smiled back, basking in the sweet after sex euphoria while you could. You whined slightly when he finally pulled out, suddenly feeling a bit empty.

Ethan disposed of the condom while you went to his bathroom to pee really quick. He sat back down on the bed and looked at his phone, seeing multiple messages from his roommate.

[chadmeister]: jesus christ

[chadmeister]: are u guys almost done

[chadmeister]: i’ve been here for like 20 minutes now you know

[chadmeister]: pretty sure the entire floor heard u two

[chadmeister]: at least u def won’t die a virgin now MY MANNN

tag list <3

@kometqh 

[arieslost]

one night only | cl16

charles leclerc x fem!reader

summary: when the miami grand prix comes around, charles books a hotel room.

word count: 3,263

warnings: 18+ content MDNI!! mentions of cheating (don’t do it), cursing, charles is a player but you’re down bad (who isn’t), this is my first time writing smut so enjoy!

special thank you to @venusacrossthestars for being my beta reader, ily bestie <3

masterlist — join my tag list here!

© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

unknown number: Our hotel. 10:30. Your keycard is at the front desk.

It was like clockwork. Every weekend of the Miami Grand Prix, you always ended up with a keycard in your hand. When Monday came, you woke up, showered, and took the tiny bottle of shampoo that you used with you when you left. It went in a shoebox under your bed to remind yourself not only of your mistakes, but of each and every night you spent forgetting them in the arms of the biggest mistake himself— Charles Leclerc.

It’s happened twice now. You hardly remembered the first, barring a joke you made about whether or not you needed to sign a NDA. Charles had silenced you by backing you up against the locked door and pressing heated kisses to your jaw, lips moving down your neck as you pulled him closer. He was excited that weekend— he’d taken P2, and it was thanks to the celebration he partook in at the club that he met you.

You were a bartender for the VIP section at a club near the track. It was easy work, if you didn’t mind all the flirting and catcalling. You were never one to be affected by it; you knew they were all either drunk beyond recognition, or would be by the end of the night. You loved your job. You also loved your boyfriend, whose shift you’d picked up that night.

But then Charles Leclerc, Scuderia Ferrari’s golden boy, sat down at the bar. Your bar.

After that weekend, you didn’t have a boyfriend. How could you, when every time he kissed you, you saw a certain Monegasque behind your closed eyelids? When every time he touched you, you imagined different hands caressing your skin?

You’ve always prided yourself in being a strong, independent woman, but when it came to the Formula One driver, all your inhibitions went out the window, and your pride with them. So you tried not to get attached to him. You were perfectly happy to be the annual hookup, to let yourself go for one night out of the 365 that came in a year. You didn’t need to get to know him, you didn’t need to learn more about the sport; you didn’t even need to kiss him on the mouth.

You didn’t.

So why were the words “our hotel” making your heart race every time you read over the text from his unsaved number?

You thought about responding, but in the end, you settled for liking the message, just like you did the last time he texted you. It had been his idea to keep this up in the first place, anyway.

2022.

“Where’re you going?” He was half awake, sleep fading quickly from his eyes when he took in the sight of you with your hand on the doorknob.

“I was leaving… unless you changed your mind about that NDA?” You quipped.

“That’s as funny as it was last night,” he groaned, stretching out and pushing the blankets off his body.

Ahh, last night. He’d put his boxers back on before falling asleep, but they didn’t really leave much to the imagination. Especially because it was all so fresh in your mind. The way he looked– hair mussed after all the times your hands had run through it, golden skin against the crisp, white hotel sheets, the red scratch marks on his back… Yeah, it was a miracle that you didn’t launch yourself back into the bed right then and there. You still dreamt about it sometimes, the way he looked so ethereal in the early morning sunlight streaming through the curtains.

“Are you going to continue to mock my sense of humor, or can I be on my way?” Your throat was so dry.

“I’ll be back in the area next year.” He didn’t offer any explanation— it was Charles Leclerc. He didn’t have to.

You fished out the piece of paper you’d scrawled your number on earlier before promptly stuffing it into your pocket in a moment of retrospection. Hell bent on leaving the room before you acted on the impulse to get on top of him again, you tossed it onto the nightstand.

“Make sure I can tell it’s you.” It was the last thing you said to him before you finally made it out the door.

Now, you read over his text again as you climbed the steps to the VIP section of the club. Our hotel. You were going to need some liquid courage if you were going to fuck him tonight.

A solid perk of your job was free access to the VIP section when you weren’t working, and in times like these you were most definitely going to take advantage of it. A couple shots were all you needed to take the edge off, and you downed them in quick succession before checking the time- 10:10. You were cutting it close, but the closer it got to 10:30, the antsier you became. You decided to linger for five more minutes, and called for another round.

“You okay?” One of your coworkers asked from behind the bar as he filled the shot glasses in front of you. “You look a little nervous.”

You laughed, waving him off. “I’m fine. Now leave me alone so I can enjoy my drinks, will you?”

He flipped you off good naturedly before turning to his other customers.

With another shot down, you took out your phone, the text still front and center on the display. You swiped it away, instead opening up the search engine. Against your better judgment, you typed the sentence you’d been restraining yourself from searching up all day long: miami gp 2024 results.

The first thing you saw was his name. CHARLES LECLERC WINS 2024 MIAMI GRAND PRIX.

You fought the urge to smile, quickly grabbing your fourth and final shot and tipping it back. Ironically, the burn of the whiskey sobered you up a little as you gazed at the picture showcasing his beaming face and dimpled cheeks, both hands lifting the first place trophy high in the air. You made the mistake of bringing up the race (or lack thereof) the last time you saw him, and since then you’d made an effort to try and avoid anything to do with F1.

2023.

“Disqualified? I mean, it’s shit!” You exclaimed heatedly as you wiped down the bar. Your phone was burning a hole in your pocket, making your stomach squirm with excitement every time you remembered the text.

Same hotel. 10:30. There’s a keycard at the front desk. No NDA. You had giggled at that last bit, and if you’d completely given up on your morals then you might have fallen in love with him for remembering the joke that he didn’t even crack a smile at last year. You’d practiced some French, and you paid attention to news about the Miami Grand Prix, but you hadn’t given up on your morals.​​ You weren’t going to fall for and pursue the guy you only saw once a year.

The French was simply because you wanted to brush up on your rusty high school skills. As for the news… well, you were in the area. Everyone was paying attention to the news.

“I didn’t realize you cared so much.” Your coworker replied, an eyebrow cocked at your reaction to what the reporter was saying on the TV.

“I don’t care, I just think it’s stupid.” You backpedaled, trying to sound more casual than you did a second ago, especially when Charles appeared on the screen looking nothing short of dead inside and your heart began to beat a little faster. “Everyone should be able to race.”

“Yeah, well, that’s the FIA for you.” One of your patrons grumbled, thumbing through his wallet and producing two five dollar bills. “Thanks, guys.”

“You keep that,” you shoved both bills into your coworker’s hand after the customer was out of earshot. “I have to go.”

You changed at the speed of light in the VIP bathroom before going to the hotel. You showed the clerk your ID, collected the keycard, entered the room, and promptly made a fool of yourself.

“I heard about the disqualification on the news…” You trailed off when you were met with a glare, not necessarily towards you but rather the topic of conversation.

“I don’t want to talk about that right now.” Was all he said before he practically manhandled you onto the bed, pulling his shirt over his head as you bounced back on the mattress. “When I’m with you, I don’t want to talk about work. I don’t want to talk at all.”

“Okay,” you agreed quietly, any other words dying in your throat as he hurriedly pushed your dress up past your stomach and immediately started kissing every inch of newly exposed skin.

When he reached the apex of your thighs, he looked up at you. “The only thing I want to hear you say for the rest of the night is my name, understand?”

He’d grabbed your hands and put them in his hair that night, right as he had you seeing stars courtesy of his head between your legs. You dreamt about that, too. A lot. You always woke up sweating, in desperate need of a certain type of relief that only he could give you.

You were thinking about last year again as you walked through the revolving doors into the hotel lobby, the shots of whiskey making your veins thrum with excitement.

The way he had whined when you pulled his hair.

The way he smirked at you as he crawled back up your body, so full of himself and so damn sexy.

You found yourself wondering what he’d be like tonight after winning the race as you gave your name to the clerk at the front desk, hoping she wouldn’t comment on how flushed you looked. She asked to see your ID, then handed the keycard over. Room 24. You were there in moments. He always booked a room on the third floor. As you walked down the hallway, you were vaguely aware of the fact that, against your will, this had become something of a routine.

You and Charles Leclerc. One night only.

For three years in a row.

You hadn’t even bothered to dress up this time— your clothes wouldn’t be staying on very long, anyway.

You were glad to see that you’d gotten there first when you opened the door, pocketing the keycard as the door swung shut behind you. There was no point in looking around the room; you knew the layout like the back of your hand. Eventually, you drew your attention to the view out of the large window, moving the curtain out of your way to admire the view of the Miami night. You tried imagining what everyone else was doing at that exact moment to distract yourself, but your mind kept going back to Charles.

Charles, Charles, Charles. Just thinking about him made your heart knock against your chest, and you were in the middle of mentally berating yourself for it when you heard the door opening and Charles himself walked in, the trophy you saw him holding in the picture still in his hand.

“Hey,” you greeted him, nerves adding a slight shake to your voice.

He gave you a soft smile in return, setting the trophy down on the nightstand and adjusting it slightly.

You remembered how he reacted the last time you mentioned his job, but this had to be different. Besides, it felt wrong not to acknowledge it when the trophy was literally sitting right there.

“Congrats— or, actually, félicitations on the win,” you said, dropping the curtain back and stepping closer to get a better look at the trophy. “Much better result than last year.”

“You’re not kidding.” He scoffed, taking his hat off and tossing it on the other side of the nightstand. “You know French?”

“A little.”

He had changed out of his race suit, but when you stood next to him you could still smell the champagne.

“Think you’ll be in the running for the championship?” You asked casually, even though you knew that he was in a great position already and was most definitely in the running for the championship.

You tried to avoid Formula One. You just weren’t all that successful.

He gave you a look, like he was trying to get in your head and figure out when you’d started paying attention. “I hope so,” he finally answered. “This could be the year.”

“I hope so too.” A pause. “Would it be overstepping if I said I was proud of you?”

This brought a real smile to his face, his dimples seeming even more prominent than they did in the photo. “Not at all. It’s actually really nice… hearing that from you.”

The usual initial awkwardness had finally faded away, and you knew what was going to happen next. You wished you could sit down with him and listen to him retell every moment of his triumphant race, but you couldn’t.

That’s what girlfriends do. Not hookups. You were perfectly fine with being a hookup, and you would continue to repeat it to yourself until you believed it again.

To mask your disappointment, you reached out and gently took his hand. His palm was warm under your touch as you pulled him close. “How about we celebrate that first place, hmm?”

The two of you moved like a well oiled machine, even after not seeing each other in a year.

He always tried to kiss you. You always turned your head at the last second. If he was disappointed, he never showed it, instead focusing on getting you underneath him. Not that he had to try very hard.

Charles had a way of making you forget. With every brush of his fingers against your bare skin, every press of his lips at your collarbone, you slipped away from reality more and more, until the only things that mattered were you, him, and the hotel room. Nothing existed outside of the four walls you were within, and how could you care right now? You couldn’t, not when he had already gotten you out of your shirt and bra and his hand was gently taking hold of your breast. He was taking his time, studying your every move in response to his own. His thumb brushed across your nipple just enough for your breath to catch in your throat, a soft gasp escaping your parted lips.

“Yeah, baby, I know,” he murmured, ego clearly inflated by the fact that the slightest touch from him still had you reacting this way, and you wished more than anything that you could kiss that stupid smirk off his face.

“I thought we were supposed to be celebrating,” you managed to say as his thumb continued its back and forth motion.

“This is me celebrating.” He paused, giving you a pointed look. “Is this not good enough for you?”

You bit your tongue, chest rising and falling as you squirmed underneath him due to the sudden lack of stimulation. “I-I just—”

“What? Utilise tes mots, chérie. Je sais que tu peux.” Use your words, dear. I know you can.

You took a breath, then looked directly into his stunning green eyes as you reached up, grabbed his wrist, and pushed his hand down. “Je te veux ici, Charles.” I want you here.

He cursed lowly, eyes fluttering shut for a moment when he heard you speaking French back to him. “You said you only knew a little.”

“Just the important stuff,” you teased, eyes traveling down from his bare chest to his fingers as he tugged your underwear off.

The rest of his clothes followed, and he didn’t waste any time rolling on a condom and pushing himself into you, a punched breath leaving his lips once he was fully seated inside you. “Thought about this all day,” he said, large hands running over your naked body. “Couldn’t wait to see you.”

“You can’t say that kind of shit to me, Charles.” You sighed, your eyes closed as you adjusted to him.

“Why not?”

“Because it messes with my head,” you admitted.

“I mean it, though.”

“Did you mean to say ‘our hotel’ too?” You opened your eyes now, the burning question finally about to be answered.

“It is, don’t you think?” He asked, and then he started to move; slowly, tantalizingly.

“Shit. I can’t think when I’m with you.”

You couldn’t talk after that, not when he was making you feel so good. You could only wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him closer and marking his neck wherever your lips landed. You shouldn’t have, and he should have stopped you, but neither of you cared. Every lewd noise coming from his mouth made you feel hotter and hotter, and just when you thought you were going to burst into a ball of flames, he started talking.

“I want you to look at yourself,” he instructed breathlessly, maneuvering you so he was now laying on his side behind you… and you were staring right into your own eyes in the shiny surface of his first place trophy. “See how beautiful you look when I fuck you.”

You gasped, eyes rolling back, bringing your arm back so your hand could find a home in his hair again. You watched through the trophy as he dipped his head into the crook of your neck, breath hot against your skin and arm tightening around you as he picked up his pace.

“Charles, I—”

“Mhmm,” he moaned in your ear, his hand slipping back between your legs when he felt you tightening around him. “Go on, baby, let go for me.”

You didn’t need to learn more about Formula One, but you had. You didn’t need to know more about Charles Leclerc, but you wanted to. You didn’t need to kiss him on the mouth. But your mind was hazy, and you wanted to know how his lips felt on yours. You wanted it so bad that, when the both of you had come back down to earth, you didn’t fight it when he leaned in and captured your lips with his. He kissed you deeply, rolling you onto your back against the pillows. You felt his hand against your cheek, and as you opened your mouth for him you tangled your fingers with his.

You weren’t stupid. You knew that things wouldn’t change.

And they don’t.

You still wake up before him in the morning. You still shower. You still put your clothes back on. You still trade parting words with each other, and you don’t hear from him for another year. You still take the shampoo bottle and put it in your shoebox when you get home, ignoring the ache between your legs the whole while.

Nothing changes.

Except now, you’ve spent a year knowing what it’s like to kiss him. You know how easily your lips mold together, how you would happily spend your one night with him doing nothing but kissing him.

And when the text lights up your phone, a thrill shoots through you.

CL16: Our hotel. 10:00. You know where to find your keycard. 😉

Maybe, somehow, you can find a way to keep your morals and be in love with Charles Leclerc at the same time.

note: well, here it is— after two+ years, i have made my long awaited return to posting fics on tumblr. i’ve done it in style by posting 18+ content for the first time; i hope it wasn’t too cringy to read. i don’t know what came over me, but here we are. thank you so much for reading.

requests are OPEN, and my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!

likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated <33

also, i’ve been out of high school for almost three years now, so i greatly apologize if the french is bad or incorrect.

beautiful dividers by @saradika !!

tags (i’m sorry if i couldn’t tag you!): @naturallyspontaneous @whatever7justchillin @outerudeth @devlovesbooks @wegaveitago @seagulltacotoaster @acarguello1 @fangirlika @simplyscorpio @nuccibeboo2 @heeygemmilala @toppersjeep @anedpev @vee2004dee @chriss-club @lewisroscoelove @scaramou @aneverythingwriter @bingewatche @candystarfish @bestpart0fmylife @topgunmav1df1 @taytaythirteen @jackiekennedys @tpwk-loml @mangodreamsicle @rafaaoli @bunbun9396 @olicitymckono @weareallsnottygirls @jenm26 @alicecourtier @oliveswiftly @janeholt3 @d3kstar @l-inas @smiithys @spookylilmeep @barcelono @ililali-blog @srhh15 @sainz-leclerc @lilycampbells-blog @cassandra-nerezza-black @nova-rush

[yandere-kokeshi]

May I request Yandere!Ghost and König (Not poly pls) who has darling who tries to convince him that he needs help, but isn’t rude or mean about it! She genuinely wants to help him? Please and thank you!

— Yandere Ghost and König with female darling, who tries to convince them that they need help

Warnings: yandere behavior and slight delusional behavior. Also, fem reader.

A/N: I loved this. I hope you enjoy <3

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

He’s offended — what do you mean he requires help? 

When you speak to him calmly, he narrows his eyes, looking at you with slight annoyance. Even though he knows you mean good, he will turn you down completely. 

Simon, whilst also aware of his behavior, believes it’s there for a reason — to protect you. He’s not going to open up to some therapist, or some police to have a chance of you getting away and getting hurt. 

Despite your wishes, he will say no. He can see your reasoning, but he’s keeping away from any professionals because he knows how they’ll react once and if he opens up. 

And if you ask for a reason, he’ll ignore the question and immediately guilt-trip you into understanding that you’re the only one who understands him. That everyone is out to get you, and they’ll take you away from him. And you wouldn’t like that, now, would you?

König:

He’s taken back — what do you mean he needs help? Don’t you realize that this type of love is just normal?

But as he listens to you, he somehow takes it, in his own delusional way, that you must be afraid of him. That his suffocating coddling, and continuous dog-following patterns are too much, and you’re just nervous. There’s no need to be, okay?

He nods along, before interrupting you that he understands you; taking a whole different approach as he starts to talk about how maybe you’re afraid of commitment. He reassures you that there’s no need to be because he’s yours and you’re his. 

König, in a simple way, completely ignores your wishes and turns it around to you being afraid. In his head, possibly you’re the one who requires help, no?

He means no harm — and immediately jumps up as the ‘husband’ as he is. Taking care of you, making sure you’re well satisfied. Isn’t that what a lover does? Isn’t this what you wanted? He loves you far too well.

—

Masterlist || Reblogs, comments, and likes are very much appreciated!! Stay well!!

© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

[cinnamoneve]

satoru’s favorite past time is staring at you. that means he is so very aware of everything, so he picks up on the little things you do— especially your facial expressions. he finds himself subconsciously copying your facial expressions while you tell him stories. knows you well enough to know what the slightest twitch in your right eyebrow means. fan behavior imo 🙄🙄

sweet angel girl i love this one sm i had to elaborate on it .... he's so sick in the head (i need him)....

"why are you looking at me like that?'

satoru leaned on the counter, cheek squishing as his palm supported his head up.

"i'm not looking at you in any way, really," he teased.

you pursed your lips just a bit, as you always did when satoru was being an ass. it was a little way of suppressing a smile from creeping up on you--better not let his ego get too inflated.

"hmm..."

narrowing your eyes a bit, you studied his little lopsided grin as all he could do was smile back at you.

he copied you, pursing his lips a little and sitting up straighter as he narrowed his eyes to read you better.

and he never realized he was doing it. subconsciously, something deeply comforted him about mirroring the person he loved.

you see, satoru would swear up and down that he could sculpt your sweet face from memory; the plump curve of your cheeks, the way your nose contours into the lips he's kissed a million times, and hopes he could kiss a million more.

neither of you realized that you'd become reflections of the other. to be loved is to be changed, as they say; even in the most minuscule ways. maybe it's the purse of your lips, how you instinctively lean in the same way satoru does when he's trying to hear better, or perhaps it's even simpler than that.

maybe other little habits have taken home in your routine that you'd never care to admit, or even notice.

but as you look at the white haired boy in front of you, his eyes still sleepy and body still heavy, you figured it probably wouldn't be a big deal if you two were more similar than you thought.

"you're looking at me like you want something," you lean in more to him, keeping your eyes narrowed in on him.

"oh am i?" he laughs, "maybe there is something small,"

you already knew where this was going.

you mirrored his body language, leaning on the counter to face him with your chin on your palm. you tried not to smile, but rolled your eyes instead.

"and what would that be, baby,"

satoru pushed his lips inward, keeping eye contact.

"just one kiss, please," he asked softly.

you pushed your lips inwards, not even knowing you were copying him.

you finally let the smile take over your oh-so-stoic expression, impossible to hide anything from him.

it was no surprise as you leaned into him to fulfill his sole wish. one more kiss in the bank for satoru.

all content © cinnamoneve 2024. do not repost, modify, steal, or copy without permission.

[meowpupp]

repost, im sorry. dunno what happened to the og

tw//: male oral receiving, noncon, crying, uhh i dunno

your life is practically perfect. every day you wake up and get taken care of by an owner who adores you. price gives you everything- warm meals, a comfy bed, a roof over your head. you couldn't have asked for anything better.

in the short time he's had you, he's improved your life tenfold. and so it's no surprise when he gets a call from the shelter, asking if he'd be interested in an emergency placement. 

its for another pup, a male this time. unlike you, who price assumes is a mix of a golden retriever and a german shepard, this new pup is a belgian malinoises. the lady thoroughly explains the hybrid's history. ex-military, highly trained, and extremely high needs. it would be a challenge, but one that price would be suited for. 

and so, two weeks later, your perfect little life is disrupted. price brings the new hybrid home. price brings kyle home. 

you’re not allowed anywhere near him. price has kyle locked up in the garage, keeping you two completely segregated. 

“he’s dangerous sweetheart. needs some training,” he explains when you ask. apparently, despite how good kyle tries to be, he still can’t help from being a little… rough. 

it’s torture. everything about kyle is so interesting to you. the only things you know about him are his name and his scent. 

his scent alone is nearly enough to send you into an early heat. musky, masculine and strong- gunpowder, fresh earth and something you can’t quite place. it makes your head spin and your cunt throb. 

you spend hours sitting at the garage door. hoping that if you’re sweet enough price will cave and give you what you want- it’s how it normally goes anyways. 

except this time it doesn’t work. 

days go by, then a week, then two. and in all that time, you still haven’t even seen kyle. it’s only a matter of time before you crack. 

you wait for price to fall dead asleep, then move quickly. sneaking down the stairs, and rushing to the garage. for a moment, you stand and think over your decision.

what if kyle is dangerous? what if he’s huge, with sharp teeth and mean eyes? he might just be waiting to get his hands on something sweet and pretty like you. he might hurt you 

you should turn back. but you don't.  

as you step into the garage, everything is still. there’s no noise, no movement. all you can see is prices car and some storage tubs. 

you step further inside, driven by curiosity as you look around. there’s a little bed in the corner, soft sheets and a nice pillow. you notice one of the blankets is yours. price must have been starting the process to introduce you two. 

you feel some guilt, suddenly realising just what you’ve done. not only have you disobeyed your owner, you’ve stolen his keys, broken into the garage, and led yourself into danger. 

before you can even think of darting out of the room, running to prices bed and acting like nothing happened, you hear movement. 

your body freezes, ears perking. the garage is cluttered, blocking your view as you glance around. you have no idea where kyle could be. you have no idea if its even him who made the noise. 

but all your thoughts are interrupted as a hand covers your mouth, another pulling your body into one behind you. your nose fills with kyles scent, and your brain switches off.  

every instinct to run, to kick and fight, to claw out of his grip is shut down. all you can think of is kyle. the way his hard chest presses against you, how big his hand is on your face, the sheer warmth of his body. 

he growls, the sound low and deep, “why’re you here?” you can feel his tent press against your ass. he doesn't give you an opportunity to answer, hand still covering your mouth. the other trails up your body, following your waist, pushing up your shirt. “you must be the other hybrid… price always tells me how good you are, so why don't you show me?” 

his hand gropes your tits, massaging the fat flesh. he groans, dick only growing harder as he grinds against your ass. he drops his head, nosing your neck, inhaling your scent. you're so small to him, so weak. he's trained to kill, to hunt, and in this moment you're his prey. 

kyle snaps, forcing you onto your knees. he moves to stand in front of you, your face level with his tent. “you've broken the rules, haven't you?” a smirk spreads across your face, grinning at the conflict of guilt and lust that spreads over your face, “shhh, i wont tell, okay? just gotta let me do one thing first…” he mumbles, eyes growing half lidded. his thumb swipes across your bottom lip, “let me fuck your throat raw. wouldn't want you to slip up, accidentally tell on yourself.” 

his smirk only grows as you hesitantly nod, parting your lips. 

he takes his time, slowly inching his way down your throat. he forces every inch of his thick, veiny shaft into your mouth. kyle isn't like price, he doesn't have the same control. he tries, he really does, but the way you gag and choke around his cock is too much to bare. 

the only sounds that fill the garage is his strained grunts, and the wet gagging noise you make with his every thrust. he takes what he wants, using you as nothing more than a toy. holding you in place, he fucks your throat ruthlessly. 

by the time hes done, tears are streaming down your face. he pumps his load down your throat, directly into your tummy. he denies you the privilege of tasting his cum. instead, he uses his dick to smear your drool all over your face. he tucks himself away, smirking at the way your face glistens with tears and spit, how swollen and red your lips are. 

as he leans down, he gently cups your face. his lips brush against your ear as he speaks.“go run back to daddy now. and remember, not a fucking word of this.”

follow up; here.

[shuoast]

☁️ husband minghao x reader

☁️ everything is fictional and should not be taken as reality or representations. mentions of crying, not taking care of one self.

he’s been monitoring you for a while now, not making any hasty assumptions in case of being mistaken. but his observations were piling up and the case is coming to a close.

your dull eyes when you smile and laugh with others, your lack of input when you usually love to give feedback, your sluggish movements when you insist you’re just feeling a little tired, your slumped back when you think no one is around. and your sad, glossy eyes paired with a red nose that screams that you’ve been crying, but you still smile and pretend like everything is fine.

behind closed doors, you merely ate one meal or less a day, multiple instant cup noodles piled up in the trash — the amount of instant noodles you eat worries him. you sleep most of the day away, and you find no more joy in doing the usual hobbies you used to love.

“baobei,” minghao pulls the remote out of your hands, you were mindlessly pressing on the next channel button without realising that you looped multiple times — there wasn’t any shows that intrigued you even though you were once such a show connoisseur (your words, not his) — “don’t you think that’s enough remote clicking for today?”

he unceremoniously plops down beside you and pulls you closer to him with an arm wrapped around you. tilting his chin down to look at you, “how are you feeling?”

cradling your cheek in his palm, he looked into your dull eyes. a painful reminder of how you were struggling by yourself, the one thing you can’t hide. “i’m fine, why?”

tightening his grip on your shoulder ever so slightly you might not have noticed if you didn’t focus hard enough, minghao pulls you into his chest, and into the safety cocoon of his arms. he wraps both arms around your body and rubs your back.

“i know what i tell you might not be what you want to hear, i know i can't understand what you're going through, i know i can't force you to stop acting like you're fine. but i also know that i'm willing to take care of you, and listen to you. you don't have to keep up a front with me, you don't have to pretend when you're with me, you don't have to smile when you're upset, smile when you're happy, cry when you're sad, you can come to me, let your mask fall off and have even a moment of comfort by my side. it must've been lonely trying to hide it all by yourself and pretend to be fine on the outside, i'm here for you.

pulling you away just a little bit so he could plant a feather light kiss on your cheeks, leaving his lips there a tad bit longer than he usually does. he pulls away and wipes off the tears at the corner of your eyes you tried so hard to contain. “getting through today is hard enough, tomorrow will be hard too but you did so well and i’m proud of you. don’t be so hard on yourself.”

☁️ ila's back (hope to stay), yes this is a repost from coupstatu(?) i think so

[soldiersslut]

GHOST OF YOU — SOLDIER BOY "CHAPTER ONE"

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female!Reader

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 2,638

Author's Note: I am super duper excited for this! I am happy to see others are as well. Thank you so much again!

IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED PLEASE LET ME KNOW. DON'T FORGET TO FOLLOW, HEART, AND REPOST. THANK YOU AGAIN!

“I am gone for one day, and this is what happens. Was putting MM to sleep really necessary?” You asked, watching what unfolded from afar. MM told Annie ahead of time what the plan was, and Annie told you.

It was no surprise that neither Butcher or Hughie had told anyone else about the plan. Little by little their recklessness was clouding their judgment. Going as far as to putting MM to sleep. Butcher scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“He is just taking a little nap. I cannot have him getting in the way and as much as you might not want to agree, you do. Soldier Boy is our weapon, and we need to make sure he is satisfied with our gift waiting inside.”

You stayed silent. There was no point in arguing with him.

“Don’t you think someone should stay inside with her? Just have eyes on her in case she tries anything?” you suggested.

Butcher nodded and tilted his head towards the direction of the door. “Since you offered to babysit, have fun. I will be waiting for him out here.”

You did not move until Butcher did. He stayed facing the trees. Your friendship with Butcher is interesting, to say the least. While you did not agree with most of Butcher’s plans the end goal was all the same. He had been the one to recruit you after MM vouched for you. Before joining the Boys you were a combat medic specialist for the Army. Most of your work consisted in base to assist soldiers as well as help in humanitarian situations. Somewhere along the way you met MM, and you made a big enough impact he remembered you.

Here you are now serving as medic most of the times, but when things get bad you are ready to fight and defend yourself.

“Who’s there?” spoke up Countess, panic heard in her tone. All you had done was enter her trailer and stay by the door for a moment.

You looked to your right to see Countess’ hands had been taped and chained down. You stepped out of the shadow so she could have a closer look at you. Though you made sure to keep your distance.

“That’s impossible,” she whispered.

You were unable to hide your confusion. Both of your eyebrows furrowed closer together and you tilted your head slightly.

“I’m sorry?” you questioned, hoping she was going to elaborate what she means by it.

She began to shake her head and a snarl formed on her lips.

“Don’t play stupid with me, bitch. You’ve been alive this entire fucking time!” Countess snapped and attempted to harshly pull on the chains to let herself loose.

You blinked twice at the audacity of her attitude. This is the first time you are meeting her and somehow you are supposed to know her. There is one thing you’ve noticed about Countess though. Behind her anger, there was fear.

“I am not playing stupid! What the hell are you talking about?” you snapped back.

“Come on, Mimi, you’re really wanting to play stupid? Isn’t it just a tiny bit coincidence that Soldier Boy is out of Russia and you are here. You’re not supposed to be here. I was told you stayed in Russia.”

You still could not hide your confusion. You were so taken back you blinked multiple times and shook your head.

“Well, obviously, I am not in Russia. This was the one and only time I went. Care to explain what the hell is going on through that chimp brain of yours?!” you demanded to know.

Before Countess could say anything the door to the outside opened. Your eyes remained on her while she looked behind you to see who showed up.

“Ben? Is that really you?” she asked.

Slow, but heavy footsteps can be heard. Slowly you turned around and came face to face with Soldier Boy.

And there it is again.

The same look Countess had when she saw you was the same look Soldier Boy had. Soldier Boy completely ignored Countess at the moment. He was just staring at you, and you stared back waiting for him to say something. Nothing was said, but there was a trance between you both. You nor him could look away from one another. Countess decided to break it.

“You look so young,” she complimented. Soldier Boy had been quick to answer, “you don’t.” And yet he had not even looked at her for him to say such a thing. This was not your place to be at.

“I’m leaving,” you announced. The trailer was small and the amount of things Countess had made it even smaller. With three steps you would be out of the door, but as you took two steps forward Soldier Boy moved to the side to block you.

“No, you’re staying” he ordered.

You were stunned by his demand and was unable to protest. It was not going to get you anywhere and you did not want to make him angry either. The man was on a vengeance, and you had no power to fight against someone like him. He moved past you and stood in front of Countess now. She let out a laugh.

It was obvious you did not wish to be there. This was something personal, and almost intimate. You tried blocking out their conversation but it was impossible. Nothing in the room was interesting enough to stare at and zone out.

“I loved you.”

That’s when things got interesting. You did not even have to look at Soldier Boy to hear the sadness in his voice. The way he was describing his pain, torture, and yet still held onto the hope. It explains why he felt so betrayed. This time you turned to look at Soldier Boy and Countess. His back was towards you, but Countess could still see you. Her eyes moved to you and she shook her head in disbelief. She let out a scoff and spoke.

“You did not love me, you loved her. Deny it all you want, but it has always been about her. You never looked at me the way you looked at her. Hell, you fucking treated her better than you’ve ever treated anyone else. It was about damn time she got smart enough and left you. She knew her worth. When she left I was furious because I had the hope that with her being out of the picture you would have changed for the better, but you only got worse with time. I would have done the same thing and left you, but I made a vow to make you pay for everything. For every tear, pleads, and humiliation I had to endure because of you. I hated you.”

There was silence afterwards. You were not sure what to think of Countess’ speech. She keeps bringing you up, and yet it makes no sense. You have never met Countess before. Much less Soldier Boy. The last time they were together it was during the 1980s. You weren’t even a thought.

“As for you, why did you go back for him? You had a life all sorted out for you. His words might sound sweet, but you know better than I that the only person he will only look out for is himself.”

This was your opportunity to say something. You wanted to ask her for clarification. She held something against you, and you cannot even wrap your mind around what it is. Though it was too late.

“Leave.”

You looked at Soldier Boy who continues to have his back towards you.

“Wait a minute—” you began to protest but was rudely interrupted.

“Are you stupid and deaf now? Go!” he snapped.

You then realized why he demanded you left. You can see the light forming in his chest and aimed toward Countess. Without a second thought you ran out and sprinted towards Butcher.

“The hell happened in there?” Butcher demanded to know.

“He’s about to explode! Grab MM!” you yelled, and right on cue a loud explosion occurred behind you.

There was so much force that wind picked up and forced you to fall on the ground. Butcher was quick to grab MM and be out of harm’s way. From the ground you turned around and used your elbows to sit up and look at the damage. The trailer was gone, but the debris was scattered everywhere. You stood up and rushed towards MM to make sure he was okay.

Annie called out to you, and Hughie followed behind her.

“MM is alright. Butcher was able to get him out of the way,” you explained and lightly slapped MM’s face multiple times hoping that would wake him up. Once again you heard the heavy footsteps and all attention was shifted to Soldier Boy who appeared from the fog of what used to be Countess’ trailer. You got up from the floor and just watched. Annie had gotten defensive and Soldier Boy noticed. He watched Annie, but then looked at you. He stopped moving and just stared like he has done before.

Once again the both of you were in a trance. The trance got disrupted by Hughie’s voice as he tried to reason with Annie. He and Butcher began to follow behind Soldier Boy. You stayed in place with Annie and MM who was starting to wake up.

“I’m alright,” MM assured. You and Annie helped him off of the ground and watched the other trio walking away. Though Soldier Boy came to a stop and turned around to see who was following.

“What the hell is happening now?” MM asked. Soldier Boy, Butcher, and Hughie were talking and it almost looked like an argument. They began to walk back towards the other trio.

“You are coming with us,” Butcher ordered, pointing at you. Annie and MM quickly got defensive.

“It is the only way Soldier Boy is going to cooperate with us. Either she comes or he goes into destructive mode. I don’t know what the hell you told him in there, but he is demanding you” Butcher explained. Butcher was getting desperate and if he has to knock you out, carry you, or threaten you he’ll do it.

Annie and MM were not convinced, but you were. If someone has all the answers to your questions it must be him.

“Soldier Boy can suck my dick too and I still would not accept her leaving. Go fuck yourself, Butcher. He is your problem!” MM argued.

Soldier Boy now stepped forward, “we can do this the easy way where no one gets harmed, or I can do this my way where I can just kill you both” he suggested. It only made things worse as Annie’s eyes lit up. MM walked towards Soldier Boy to get in his face. You moved quickly to get in between both.

“No! One death is already enough for tonight. I will go with you under one condition and that is for you not to harm my friends. It isn’t because I am scared of you.”

You stood your ground against Soldier Boy. If it were anyone else to have spoken to him the way you did right now he would have put them six feet underground by now. Though this is you, he remained quiet but his hands turned into fist and by how tight he formed them a small squeak was let out from the leather gloves he is wearing.

You heard the squeak and knew he was holding it in together. “Shall we, then?” you asked and motioned the direction they were heading towards to. You looked up at Soldier Boy who continued to stare. At this point it was getting annoying. You said nothing to him and walked away. Before the distance got greater you looked at MM and Annie.

“I will be okay, I promise.”

That was going to be the last time you will see them both until who knows when. You said nothing else, even when you all got to the car. Butcher drove and Hughie got the passenger side. You sighed and got in the back with Soldier Boy. It was a small space and with someone large such as Soldier Boy is sitting next to you the space is limited. Your knee was forced to touch his own. You ignored the way he kept moving his knee slowly as if he was trying to feel you. Butcher was explaining their next destination but they needed to find lounging for tonight. After some time in the road they found a motel in the middle of nowhere. Butcher checked them in.

“You are staying with me Soldier Boy, while Hughie stays with you” said Butcher to you. Hughie was okay with that and offered to sleep on the couch. Soldier Boy hated the idea.

“Fuck you, I am staying with her. I’m not about to share a bed with another set of balls and a dick.”

You rolled your eyes, “and what makes you think I want to?”

“Oh, please sweetheart. Playing hard to get doesn’t get you anywhere. Drop the attitude.”

“Make me.”

Butcher intervened, “alright, alright! All of us are staying in a room together. I will sleep on the floor, Hughie gets the couch, and both of you figure it out in the room. I am going to ask for a refund on one of the rooms.”

Butcher left to the main office while the rest walked towards the room. You entered and took a look around. It was clean, a little spacious, and there was only one bed. The argument began again.

“You are indestructible, a soldier, and have been sleeping for a long time already. You do not need the bed! You can sleep anywhere else!” you snapped.

At this point Hughie had given up in playing mediator.

“The bed is large enough for the both of us. Quit your whining!” Soldier Boy reasoned.

The argument continued until Butcher showed up and put an end to it. In the end you were going to share a bed with him. You sat down on your side and just watched the rest get comfortable. Butcher had clothes for Soldier Boy to change into.

“We have a long day tomorrow. Get some sleep” Butcher ordered. He turned off the lights. Hughie said goodnight to you and you said it back. You laid on the bed and felt it sink next to you. You turned and saw Soldier Boy smirk. You were ready to wipe the smirk off of his face.

“You know you can scoot in closer if it gets too cold. I don’t bite” he whispered the last part to you. You scoffed and turned to your side. There was not enough pillow to form some wall between you both. Eventually sleepiness took over the nerves, and you had fallen asleep.

Soldier Boy had yet to fall asleep. He was the last one awake. Everything that has happened in the past two days has been replaying over in his mind. He looked down at you sleeping so peacefully. Why were you acting like this? Why was he a stranger in your eyes? It has been a conflicting thought since the moment he laid eyes on you. Even now he wonders if this was a test and he was actually at the lab still. He was hoping it wasn’t.

You moved in your sleep and was facing him now. Hair had fallen onto your face. Slowly and lightly he moved it out of the way of your face. His finger stayed on your cheek; feeling your soft skin.

Whether this was a test or a dream, he knows he never wants to wake up for he has found you once again.

Next Chapter: Chapter Two

Author’s Note: Hello again! I hope everyone is enjoying this as much as I am. As you can tell we are following season three but there will be changes along the way. I chose to start on season three so we can see how it begins to unfold for Soldier Boy and reader. There will be lots of angst and drama soon. Just please be patient and thank you so much again for reading!