#If he tries to get this taken down I will keep reposting it. I have it all saved on my computer the cloud and thumb-drives.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Who Is In Control? (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Sung Jinwoo x Black!F!Villain!Reader x Hunter!Gojo Satoru

Synopsis: Sung Jinwoo is the highest-ranking hunter and the most powerful human being humanity has ever seen. So is Gojo Satoru. Both cocky, both confident, and both eager for more power, they compete against each other for each gate that seems to get more dangerous the farther and higher they go. They figure your gate won’t be any different and that you will be the usual big baddie that they need to take care of. Another cog in the system. Until they manage to beat you and find out who you truly are behind your facade. Now the hunters are hellbent on keeping you to themselves. So, what’s another friendly competition? Only this time, the prize is you. 

Chapter Warnings: MILD SPOILERS, Elf!Reader; Kidnapping, Bondage, Manipulation, Hypnosis, Aphrodisiacs/Drugging, Coercion, Dubcon/R*pe, Everybody is HORNY; Touch-Starved!Reader; Drugged!Jinwoo & Gojo

Disclaimer:  I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer’s Note: Got another chapter for y'all! We bout to get into the SMUTTY SHIT next chapter! Enjoy & DON'T SPOIL SINNERS!!! -Jazz

CHAPTERS: PREFACE. ONE. TWO. THREE. FOUR. FIVE. SIX.

*************

THREE: A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

Gojo has never been the one to think much of Gate Bosses. But you? You’re quite the cutie. 

He watches you now as Jinwoo kneels behind you, tying your wrists to a pillar holding up the crystalline-windowed, domed ceiling of your castle. You are out cold, your hair covering your face as your head hangs low, your chest rising and falling evenly under your chestplate. 

Gojo would have preferred to have kept the armor off after assessing the damage of your right side, but Jinwoo refused. “I’m not a pervert,” he harrumphed. Gojo just rolled his eyes, knowing he was full of the purest shit. 

The only things not covered are your pointed elven ears which Gojo finds oddly adorable. He can’t remember the last time he was so taken with a Boss…actually, come to think of it, he can’t remember even really looking at a Boss. They are all just cogs in a machine for him. Obstacles in the way of his destination and prize. 

But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t noticed those brief moments where Bosses seem to glitch if Gojo asks them why they are there. Or the way their words and movements seem rehearsed. Or why he and Jinwoo are the only S-ranking hunters who seem to understand that something is wrong. He had a hunch the moment he discovered Jinwoo, someone almost as powerful as him and seems to keep leveling up. Just like Gojo. 

Hence why Gojo flew to China as soon as the Heroes Guild called him up. While he is ever so grateful to “the system” for the popularity and celebrity status, he is also a nosey bitch and someone who doesn’t like being deceived. If something or someone is behind this, he wants to know. And he has a hunch that you can help him figure that out. 

He will admit that the instant you passed out, he was more than happy to off you and jump to the next level in the system. “Good, she’s out! Let’s kill her while we’ve got the chance!” But Jinwoo stopped him by stepping in front of him. “Hang on, greedy,” he protests. “That ain’t fair. First of all, you’re not winning this, and secondly, you can’t kill her when she’s in this state.” 

Gojo scowled down at you unconscious and then at his colleague. “And why the hell not?” he scoffed. “She tried to kill us first!” 

“Because she was forced!” Jinwoo argued, narrowing his blue eyes at the silver-haired hunter. “Didn’t you hear her? Something is making her do this.” Gojo cocked his head to the side, smirking at Jinwoo. “How do you know that? What, that face and her kiss make you change your mind?” 

Jinwoo’s jaw tensed, but he ignored Gojo’s sly remark. Sometimes, Gojo just can’t help but pick at people. He has chalked it up to his genetic makeup. Truthfully, he only said that to take his mind off of the way your kiss and your face made him feel: hot in the face, tingly all over, cock throbbing and practically leaking for you. Not to mention his pounding heart and the swarming butterflies in his stomach. 

“You’re the one who said all of this isn’t a coincidence,” Jinwoo firmly stated. “I’ve had many run-ins with Bosses who’ve said the same thing she just did. She and every other Boss in this system is being controlled by someone or something. Now, if you wanna find that out and how the fuck this shit is run, then you’d better spare her.” That led to Gojo giving in and helping Jinwoo carry you off to your castle curiosity of his and Jinwoo’s teleportation abilities. 

Gojo watches as you slumber now, admiring the way your lashes fan across your cheeks and how your lips part. Even your ears twitch! ‘So fuckin’ cute,’ he thinks. He is fairly sure that your aphrodisiac powers have a lot to do with his newfound feelings for you, but admittedly, your remorse and immediate surrender had their effect too. He felt oddly sympathetic for you. Protective, even. You’re a firecracker, but also small and vulnerable. Who or what exactly is making you do this like Jinwoo said? 

“That should help her side.” Gojo blinks, realizing that Jinwoo is kneeling in front of you with a tiny body of healing elixir. He tilts your chin up and carefully dribbles the purple liquid into your mouth, tilting your head back to swallow it. Gojo’s eyes tick down to the wound at your side, swelling red and punctured with a tiny cut. As soon as the elixir is in you, he can see the swelling start to go down and the cut vanishes. 

Gojo watches Jinwoo squat in front of you, his nose inches from yours. “You think she was telling the truth earlier?” he asks. “About being forced to kill us?” Jinwoo gives him a look riddled in seriousness and something darker than Gojo can’t identify. “I do, and I think we’re close to finding out why.” He then lays a hand on your shoulder and, with flashing blue eyes, commands for you to awaken. 

“Wakey, wakey,” he whispers, his voice echoing and appearing to be coming from the walls too. 

Immediately, you startle awake with a gasp of air and look around the room. When your eyes register on the two hunters, you damn near have a heart attack. “Where am I?!” you screech. “What did you do to me?!” You begin yanking at your restraints, growing more and more frantic. 

Gojo decides to step in, shoving Jinwoo out of the way. “Hold up, hold up, cutie,” he soothes, his voice gentle and soft. “Relax. Chill out. It’s all okay.” He doesn’t know why seeing you so frightened makes him so adamant to soothe you, but suddenly, his hand is on your arm and he is exuding as much of his energy as he can. He keeps himself calm and envisions ocean waves to pass on to you, making you relax. 

Soon, your screaming ceases, your breathing evens, and your body untenses. “Take a deep breath,” he orders. You do so, your chest expanding. “And breathe out.” Your chest deflates like a balloon, a tiny sigh leaving your soft lips. Gojo smiles proudly at you. “That’s a good…” He stops himself, almost saying ‘girl’. Jinwoo kneels next to you, holding another tiny bottle filled with a blue liquid. “You’re still a little hot. Here, drink this.” You narrow your eyes at the bottle, suspicious. “Relax, it’s not poison. It’s a cooling elixir.” 

To prove his word, he takes a sip of it, his Adam’s Apple bobbing. “See? Tastes like apples.” He then coaxes you to tilt your head back and brings the bottle to your lips to gently pour a stream into your mouth. Gojo feels oddly jealous especially when you begin to drink so eagerly, your lips suckling on the bottle’s nozzle. “Mmm, good, right?” Jinwoo chuckles. “Not too fast. You’ll get addicted.” 

After some time, Jinwoo pulls the bottle away and caps it while you lick your lips clean. You look much calmer now though still slightly apprehensive. Understandable. Jinwoo clears his throat, puncturing the silence. “Well, now that you’re awake, I believe introductions are in order.” He presses a hand over his heart, giving you a small, friendly smile. “I’m Jinwoo Sung. S-rank hunter.” 

You stare at the hunter, wide-eyed and bewildered, before Gojo garners your attention with a wave. “Gojo Satoru, S-rank hunter and the top one in Japan.” Jinwoo side-eyes him, but he ignores it. “You got a name, cutie?” The name just slips out of Gojo’s mouth, surprising even himself. He can feel his face flame as a blush rises to his cheeks. What the fuck is wrong with him? He is never this frazzled around girls! 

“Y-Y/N,” you stammer, blinking in confusion at the hunters. “You…you saved me? I’m not dead?” You look so relieved that Gojo has to laugh. “Seems to me someone was scared of gettin’ turned into your soldier, Jin.” Jinwoo cuts him a sharp glance, ignoring him. “No, you’re not dead,” he answers you, “but don’t be too grateful. We still have some questions for you, and we believe you owe us since you tried to kill us and all.” 

Surprisingly, you don’t put up a fight or argue. You don’t deny it either. You look defeatedly up at them and Gojo just wants to scoop you up, put you in his pocket, and take you away. “What do you wish to know?” you sigh.

But even so, they still need answers. “What exactly is this place?” Gojo asks though not as harshly as before. “Why’s everything so fucked up? You said before that you’re being forced to do this. Do you have any idea why?” 

You open your mouth to reply, but suddenly, in a flash, fear registers across your face. You look as if you have just been caught in something you shouldn’t have been. “I…I don’t know if I can talk,” you fearfully whisper. Gojo and Jinwoo share a look, both knowing that they are thinking the same thing: you are telling the truth. “Just say what you can,” Jinwoo encourages you. 

You still look perturbed and disturbed as you stare at the two, not as if you can’t trust them, but as if you can’t trust them to save you from whatever it is that’s bothering you. Gojo watches your face, noticing your drawn brows, wavering eyes, and your bottom lip drawn between your teeth. You are scared. He can feel it radiating off of you. He knows Jinwoo can feel it too judging by his silence.

“I don’t remember my life before this,” you finally say. “Just bits and pieces of light and memories that I’m not even sure are mine. All I remember is being here one day and hearing one thought in my head: kill all humans.” 

Gojo and Jinwoo once again share a knowing glance. “So it’s the same as the others,” Jinwoo realizes, referring to the other Bosses who have uttered this between battles. Gojo has heard them too, but never thought much of it until now. He always thought that it was just the usual BS that villains utter. But now he realizes that they were all programmed that way literally. 

You finally snap out of your state and scowl up at the hunters. “Why are you asking me this anyway?” you demand. Gojo is more than happy to fill you in. “Because we’re two hunters who died during their raves and were brought back to life for some reason by the system. It’s the system that you’ve been fighting for.” 

You blink at him, confusion registering across your cute face. You then look down at the marbled floor as if that holds the answer. “I-I don’t understand,” you murmur. You then groan in agony, leaning your head back against the pillar. “Oh, my head,” you groan. 

“Now, now, none of that.” Gojo is gentle but firm, bringing your attention back to reality and away from your hurting noggin. Mostly because he doesn’t want to think about how much he wants to make you groan in pleasure instead. “So you don’t remember anything before you became a crazy bitch?” he questions. Both you and Jinwoo glare at him for the terminology. “Not really, no,” you reply. “Just that I’m powerful, and I’m all alone in this world.” 

As soon as the sad, tragic words are out, your eyes well up with tears and you begin to cry. Gojo is startled by your demeanor change and looks to Jinwoo for help. The black-haired hunter looks just as clueless and alarmed at seeing you cry.

“I didn’t wanna kill either of you, I swear! I don’t want to do any of this!” Small sobs escape you, wracking your whole tiny body, making you shake. “I’m so, so sorry,” you lament. “If you have to end me, just do it now and do it quick. I just want to be away from here.” 

You sound so broken, so defeated, and so damn open that Gojo has no choice but to melt. This person now, with her elven ears and eyes welled up with fat, wet tears, is the real you. The you beyond the person he was fighting before. The you that the system has manipulated and controlled for who knows how long. He knows you are telling the truth. 

And now, he can’t resist the urge not to keep you safe. Wordlessly, he moves behind you and begins to untie the knot that Jinwoo tied, much to your shock. “What are you–” 

“Stop cryin’,” he orders. Though his voice is firm, it is soft and gentle. “Death ain’t on the table anymore.” 

“What?” both you and Jinwoo say in unison. Both of you are confused and very suspicious of Gojo’s sudden turn. And with good reason too! He was just hellbent on killing you earlier! 

“I can tell you’re being honest,” he explains, still untying the rope from your wrists. “And plus, I can’t act like harming such a pretty little thing wouldn’t haunt me for all my days.” The rope falls from your wrists and you turn to face him, even as you rub your stinging wrists. There is an innocence in your eyes that excites Gojo…turns him on. “You know, for a villain, you’re kinda cute,” he murmurs. 

The air has now changed. It is thick with tension and all three of you can feel it. Your brows knit in confusion and despite your milky brown skin tone, he can tell you are flushed. As flushed as he is with his pinked cheeks that become a deeper shade of rose the more he stares at you. And the more he stares, the cuter you get. “W-Why are you saying this?” you stammer. 

Gojo quirks a silver brow at you. “Why do you think? Did you forget about that little sneak attack you did on me and Jinwoo?” 

Realization clears the fog over your eyes and you sigh, looking ashamed. “It’s an aphrodisiac,” you explain, referring to the kiss attack. “It helps me weaken my prey.”

Gojo chuckles at this, loving the way the tips of your ears turn a shade darker than the rest of you. You may act all tough and hard, but really, you’re just a touch-starved little sweetie. 

“Seems to me that you’re the prey now, cutie,” Gojo teases. He offers a hand to you, wanting to help you stand due to your legs not being used for a bit. Hesitantly, you take his big hand in your smaller one and stand on your stiff bones.

The two hunters stand with you, their eyes locked dead on you. “I knew I wasn’t crazy,” Jinwoo says, mostly to himself. He too is flushed, his cheeks tinged a slight pink. “I was wondering why I got so…so…” 

“Hard?” Gojo finishes, flashing him a wolfish grin. “And suddenly wanting to put this slutty girl into a bed? The feeling is mutual.” He watches as your ears twitch and your eyes grow soft at the forbidden word. Your subtle reaction only makes him pulse and throb more. “Aw, what’s the matter? Don’t like bein’ called a slut?” 

“Mm-mm,” Jinwoo protests, shaking his head. “More like she does. It’s a front.” He stares at you like one would stare at a dessert plate. He looks at you like the sweet, delicious thing that you are. “And I don’t need to use my powers to read that.” His voice has dipped lower than the naturally deep tone he already has, no doubt making your body tingle. 

Gojo takes a chance and inches closer to you, standing behind you. Jinwoo takes the opposite side and stands in front of you, your face barely brushing his chest while your scalp reaches just above Gojo’s chest. You are now sandwiched between the two hunters with no place to go…unless you were to use some of your fancy abilities. But you’re not and Gojo has a hunch as to why. 

He ever so gently trails his fingertips up your forearm. You flinch, letting out a tiny gasp that makes him bite back a laugh. “Don’t–” 

“Don’t…what?” he prompts. “Hm? Do you really think we don’t know that you want this?”

He feels your muscles tense under his feather-soft touch, but you don’t fight him or shrug him off. Your skin is so soft…supple…hot to the touch. “You were probably sooo hot at the thought of us comin’ here for you, hoping to put you out of your misery.” 

He can hear the tiny intakes of breath that you take between your soft lips, your breasts rapidly rising and falling. You need this just as much as he does. Even someone in the next dimension could see that you’re totally and utterly touch-starved.

‘Poor baby,’ Gojo thinks, feeling his cock twitch in his pants. He can only imagine how lonely and deprived you must have felt being isolated in such a place. 

But no longer. Not on his watch. “Maybe we just might do that, but you need to stop denying yourself first.” His hand slides down to your hand, interlacing his long, piano fingers with his. You allow him, your smaller fingers locked with his. He can only imagine how that pretty hand would look wrapped around his or Jinwoo’s cocks. 

“So can you be good and keep quiet about this?” he asks, his words ghosting across your earlobe. “Can you agree to everything we say, pretty girl?” Jinwoo silently stares at you, not saying anything, but he doesn’t have to. His intense gaze is asking you the same exact thing, never wavering or leaving your face. 

And to the hunters’ surprise, they hear you say, though softly and so inaudibly that it might as well be the wind, a willing, desperate, needy little “yes”.

**********

Taglist: @leviackerman2030 @emonaculate @lnette04

[otomesiren]

FFXIV PSA: Beware of Narseth D’havi on Seraph/Dynamis and Moogle/Chaos

Beware of Narseth D'havi on FFXIV (lodestone is linked). He puts up a nice front, but behind that is a toxic, manipulative, and gaslighting liar.   

He has emotionally hurt me to the point where I couldn't go to sleep, had a nightmare that was very graphic, couldn't eat, cost me out of $500+ for a job I couldn't complete due to my mood dropping due to the constant messaging of how his "day was ruined", could barely talk about this entire thing that he told me about before caving in to tell my close friend, boyfriend, and outside friends who didn't play the game.  I was expected to keep what he told me to myself.  He had tried to make me promise to not tell my friends when that is nigh impossible for me.

This was too much for me to read and listen to from him.  I'm not a therapist.  I am not trained in this nor do I pretend to be one.  What he did was load upon load of what he claimed happened (even breaking his own promise to not MENTION IT when i told him to refrain) to the point where I was emotionally drained and triggered, both from past experiences, but this was far worse.

Expecting the average person to contain all this when they're not qualified to handle such immense emotional reactions and then blame them for taking action like I did is wrong and ridiculous.  I was treated like utter shit and a fool by him.

Hello, I hardly go on here but this has been on my mind to post a beware of him since March of this year.  He frequents Twitter and I’m not going to post this over there since I don’t feel safe on there as I do here.  More so now thanks to El*n’s bullshit.  Plus this post is 24 pages long.  I don’t have that patience to slice it up.  The goal of this is to get this out is to warn people to stay the fuck away from this abusive piece of shit. This post may upset someone or more and to them I say this: I've been dragged into this and then treated as if i have no fucking right or say about it especially if said ex friend is an abusive bastard who just wants to get his cake and eat it too and then complains about it worse than what I see in retail of how it's not how it's made to his liking, how he wasn't catered to, it's by the book manipulation and gaslighting and overall abusive.  

I did my best remembering and searching what I could in Discord since some did happen in game.  Some proof is below at the very end.  I’m not going to show all since it’s not needed and most of the story is not mine to tell nor show.  My POV is what he spoke to me about and one part that shows his true colors without me there.  That.  Is.  It.   I'm not going to search through more in Discord since I would have to unblock him to jump to his messages or try to remember what I said 5+ months ago and then scroll in hopes to see what I’m looking for or spend x mount of hours trying to find it.

This post is edited as much as I can with the help of two very close friends of mine.  I didn’t get time to ask those who doesn’t know the story to have a complete outsider view (I don’t know how else to explain that).  In case you didn’t get the gist from above, this is a very heavy long post that has subjects of the following mentioned:

gaslighting

manipulation

disturbing nightmare with violence is mentioned and summarized (my own nightmare after a year of not having one)

mention of panic attacks/anxiety 

immense anger (lots of cussing, it’s how I unleash the emotion and I damn well deserve to unleash it after all the shit he put me through.  I know people can be affected by this since one of my dear friends has it)

pet passing (my own)

If I missed one, I’m sorry.  I finally felt ready to post this tonight and the sooner it’s out there, the better it is to warn others about him.

His character/guild/twitter/discord accounts  His main’s lodestone: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/42388617/ His new main: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/49016648/ as of August 17th 2024. His alts: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/47595294/ https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/47594784/ His “alleged” alt: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/29042799/ His FC/guild: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/freecompany/9280370719638690199/ His twitter accounts: https://twitter.com/NarsethXIV (deleted) https://twitter.com/DarKye (protected) Discord: narseth, ID is  617822537040003092 (used to be DarKye, I don’t remember the numbers that Discord used to have after usernames)

For some backstory: I met him on PWI in 2009ish along with others when I joined the guild, Aesthetic.  We only played dungeons and did guild events.  We fell out of touch but added our guildees to FB and then Steam since it was all the rage then.  Throughout the years, we haven't spoken to each other (the rest of the guildees I have lost completely out of contact) as the years went by. Sometime early 2022 I think, I get in touch with him again after I noticed he was playing FFXIV on Steam.   I just recently got back into it at the time and have caught up to the expansion pack and told him, “hey let's meet in game”.  So we did.  He was in another server and we hung out at the time.  We also added each other on Discord, his user on there was DarKye (his typical username in games and other places)  before he changed it recently to narseth with Discord's questionable change of usernames.

We went to our first venue together sometime in July 2022 when we saw some ads in shout chat.  I found to have loved it, and he did too for a while.  We found out twitch djs were a thing and I got a very much needed break from work for three to four days, almost a week, and found out by staying up to the ungodly wee hours that hard bass made me relax and chill out before bed when years ago, I had found it to be uncomfortable to listen to.  I could finally get some sleep that came easily to me for once.  After that break I had from work, he told me he couldn't keep going for a few days due to work.  That didn’t bother me at all, he had to get up early and I understood since he was hours ahead of me in South America.  I was terrified at first going by myself, but it's a good thing I did.

As I went by myself from mid July to August (i did still invited him to come with, but he said no a few times but he did come to one when I told him how awesome it was with the skill/light show), I met six new friends whom I got along great with and dragged my fc leader/close friend into it too since she was curious about it herself. August was something special, on the 15th I met my boyfriend of 11 months now, I'll name him T, and we hit it off immediately.  We stayed up till 5am in the morning despite both of us having work the next day.  During this, I barely messaged Narseth on discord, while in game he was silent or messaged in fc here and there but hardly on Discord except when he wanted to share something.  I soon found out that he felt like a bother and that led to him not messaging me since he was doing his MSQ.  I was already done with mine but I had told him before many times to always send me a msg to fan about it.  Even when I brought up I was always on Discord - I practically live on it, he said he felt like a bother.  Keep this in mind.

Once Aug 30th hit, I asked out T and he said yes.  I kept hanging out with my new friends, old friend, and T as we went to venues.  I had since given up trying to invite Narseth with us.  There was a time where I saw him much after in the year at a venue but 

It wasn't until sometime in October that I found out Narseth was interested in someone in game.  He wouldn't tell me who yet but he sounded happy.  He told me that he knew how fast it was being since it was just two weeks, just like mine was, so i didn't think much about it until that day in November when I met his intended.  One he didn’t even wait to introduce me when i told him and warned him i would give him so much shit (teasing, mind you) that he didn’t even introduce me before he proposed to her in game.  Keep the teasing in mind too.  

When I met her with my friend and T, we behaved like we always did.  I soon found out much much later that night that he was very upset by it.  He told me that I was too harsh with my teasing [in front of her] and got mad about the three of us teasing him to me ONLY, in DMs on discord.  (He also admitted that he felt good to pay me back when one of his friends refused to call me my correct name in game vs my nickname that friend of his gave me.  That was the first red flag I should’ve fucking noticed.)  But the reality was that he didn't want to look "foolish" in front of the one he lied about.  In turn, he turned the blame completely unto me: how I hadn’t hung out with him despite me trying to make conversation with him. I told him the very same that even if I do msg him, he barely messages back or even forgets.  Latter I understood, but it was why I didn't even hang out or talk with him anymore.  He didn't seem to be interested in talking to me at all or do anything but focus on his intended whom he greatly replied to very fast to is what I was told.

The way he typed to me in Discord during that conversation was very condescending and rude.  He treated me like I did nothing or put any effort to hang out or do anything with him when I did, in fact, tried to include him, tried to talk - practically everything.  He acted like he didn’t know me and he didn’t at ALL now that I look back on it. It felt utterly wrong to be spoken to in this way, text or not.  My fear of confrontation and hurting a friend when really it was ME being hurt not him, caused a very bad panic attack:  I felt a sick sensation in my stomach.  I hadn’t had one this bad since starting college years ago.  It freaked me out, shooting my anxiety to where I couldn't eat for days.  I could barely sleep.  For three to four days. I missed out on work but this was just the beginning of these attacks.  I never mentioned this attack to him at all but it was bad to the point I couldn't focus on anything and I cried.  A fuck ton.  I hold my friends in high regards and making them upset makes me feel bad, but never to this degree that sent me shaking and had bile in my throat to the point where I felt like I was wrong.  When in fact, I wasn’t.  I was being manipulated and gaslighted to the point of bending to his way and will of how a friend of his should act.  I had merely been myself as I always was, and suddenly, somehow, in front of her, it wasn’t ok to tease him like how I usually did.  My body knew subconsciously that what he did was emotional abuse and it was the start of feeling this “friendship” wasn’t really one since then. I felt like walking on eggshells each time since  I promised I wouldn't tease him after that.  Which I upheld but without that, it wasn’t me.   My bf and close friends also found it very strange when I told them what had happened.  

If only I fucking knew what came next in December.

December, a week or so before the holidays, i found him fcless (guildless).  He was upset.  He told me why and I wished he didn't when I asked.  This was the beginning of many and I do mean many of "she did this and this" and at the start, I was concerned.  I was concerned throughout until I found out the truth.  Who the fuck wouldn’t be? But I digress.  He told me to never bring it up to what he told me that day to her.  I promised not to.  He also tried to make me promise that I couldn't tell my friend in game but that is literally impossible.  I already began to.  More so when the same thing weeks after weeks of him being a sack of shit when really he painted her as the one.  On the 18th, it affected me so greatly that i had a nightmare for the first time in a long time.  This nightmare was graphic and disturbing.  I told him about it after he said he would like to hear it after I warned him it was bad.    I also shared it to my bf and my friend.  DETAILS OF THE DREAM AHEAD, skip to the next paragraph that has “ ****** Christmas”. The dream was a man was attacking a woman and i could hear the woman screaming.  Blood was on the floor as each attack took place.  Each attack was a stab as a knife and I could hear. 

.

.

.

.

****** Christmas came.  I had a Secret Santa ready for my friend group and I was participating in the one I joined that he refrained from inviting me until I pointed it out in game. Needless to say, he ruined  Christmas for me.  At the time though, I thought it was for a friend who needed help/advice and yet, it was just the start.  At first, he told me vaguely about why he was upset and then told me he missed my birthday party in game held at my bf’s friend’s venue due to something coming up.  I’m not going to say what exactly, but he told me what had happened and it made sense why he couldn’t make it.  I understood and told him not to worry about it since there was always the next time.  

New Years came, they “fought”/”argued” (his words) again and he swore he was done this time.  Ha.  I saw gposes(group photos) of the two all lovey dovey in a server I was in with them. This, I think, was the start of my many serious reactions of her being brought up again and again.  More so that he would rather stay with the woman he painted as toxic when he knew I had experience with an ex that supposedly did the same thing he painted of her doing to him.  It just made no sense the more as it went on and every time it happened, I wanted to message her to tell her to let go.  I threatened to cut him off since here I was, being told something else and then he went and post those gposes as if everything was ok?  It just didn’t line up, and it affected me greatly since i had exp with an ex that said nice sweet words, and everything he was claiming she was doing: flirting, crossing boundaries to name a few. It was making me shake in anger and wanting to msg her and when i mentioned it one time, he said don't.  When I got too angry about her, he didn't like it.  He told me to stop or calm down whenever I did.  Plus, he kept saying “You don’t have the full story” over and over again.

On the 12th of January, Narseth and I had a vc (voice cat).  I'm not sure if this is the one I was emotional in since we had just two about her.  I wish i never did vc with him, he sounded like he really just didn’t give a fuck what I said despite a very serious convo much later that he “valued” what i said.  He had told me that vcing is easier too, though to me it was just to hide it.  He kept giving her excuses despite telling me the bloody opposite that he’s done when he told her that he wasn’t letting go.  Over and over like a damn broken record.  It caused me to get even more upset when i was already emotional on the vc. He didn’t care a single cent that I was not in the mental capacity to do this and yet, he had called me on Discord.  I had already shared my experience from an ex already and he wanted me in vc?  When it was obvious that I would be affected by it?

What was i thinking, is what i ask myself in the past and probably some whom are reading.  And the answer is simple: He was a friend.  Friends I try to be there for them. Plus, I “knew” how he felt in this picture that he painted that turned out to be a lie.  I thought he needed help even if it was harsh at times because i knew it was going to hurt.

We had another serious talk.  It felt like he didn’t want to talk about it and my guess was right.  He was too tired so I waited for the morning barely getting any sleep.  It had affected me again, as it always does.  This time, our talk was way worse.  When I asked him if we could, he said “Would it be productive?”  (turns out to be his favorite fucking word after “listen”).   I told him flat out i didn’t know and he explained how it was going good, that “we’re doing better”.  That they were fine.  I felt...relieved, now knowing it was okay, but also some part of me wondered “Is this really ok?”

On Feb 8th, my cat, Benny, started to not eat. I took him to the vet with my dad the next day since he had a history of having hard stools in his later years. He sadly passed away on Feb 13th due to kidney failure after I tried to syringe feed him.  He had been in the worst shape.  I also heard him dying the day he died.  My friend who had worked in the field told me that by the time we hear the noises, they’re already gone. I was shaken up.  I could barely eat.  Sleep.  I cried on and off.  I never felt so upset as I did when my precious boy passed.  I took off work f grieve since I was in no way mentally capable of going in and dealing with anyone.  I was crying at the drop of a hat.  He was my precious boy.  I heard his last moments in my bathroom when he woke me up.  It still makes me cry to this day.   And Narseth knew most of this and yet, he still brought her up again not even a week AFTER or to even wait few more weeks so i could mourn.  I was not, in any good mental state, to hear any of what he had to say about her that racked up my anger, made me lose sleep, and just outright being affected by it.  Only this time, I felt numb since i was grieving. I was exhausted.  I was tired.  I brushed it off to him with “I’m taking you to the spa" in a halfhearted joke.

When I got my house on the 20th of Jan in game of ffxiv (after the housing was now lottery), he told me I would have to tolerate her since she would be building with him.  I said no promises.  He showed me a screen of them two crafting after i showed him one of mine and my bf crafting.  For once, i had no reaction but it wasn't until later that day when he brought her up again that it upset me again. And again another day.  It was building and building and finally, I had enough.

It was the 25th of Feb when a friend showed me that they were in game and showed me a screenshot of Narseth in the same location with the very one he claimed he was “done with”.  This was after he said to me that he would talk with her to end it days ago after calling it toxic to the billionth fucking time at this point.  

I messaged (sent a tell/whisper/private message) him in game and asked him what the fuck was he doing.  He said they were fine.  I said he told me he was done that night.  I was livid.  I logged out and then I then messaged him on Discord after, telling him he was being pathetic.  He told me to stop.  I refused.  I was done. I meant what I said that since he wouldn’t cut her off, I would cut him off.  I sent a message to her right after on Discord, telling her to get away from him.  When she didn’t reply, i messaged him on twitter showing what i sent to her.  I knew he would be mad, and didn’t care at this point.  My gut was right however that something was off.  He showed it to her on her alt discord  and she reactivated her account on discord and told/showed me what really happened.    I showed him on twitter after asking if it was ok from her to post the screenshot to him and she said yes.  He gaslit me immediately after, telling me to go “read the logs” and “you don’t have the full story” when he had every chance to do so and wouldn’t. Meanwhile, I was shown screenshot after screenshot what really happened.  Again, I will not say what was in those other screenshots, but the one I do share in this post from her is the key part where I saw his true colors of a liar.

All my patience was gone at this point.   I was livid. I cussed him out after everything i went through.  All for this called “FRIEND” of mine after I stayed up, could barely eat, listened to his rants, went on fucking vc when i wasn’t in the right mental capacity to deal with it after work, had a nightmare that disturbed me immensely, lost a freelance job of over $500+ that I had to refund after many pushbacks the client was upset despite being very patient.  I had to refund this client of mine with three of my paychecks and my tax refund.  All of that FOR HIM and he LIED TO ME.

The true colors of him finally came out: He said he never wanted my help that he wanted a place to RANT without judgement (when he didn’t even think that he fucking LIED to me?  That’s not ranting you piece of shit) , that i could THINK he was an asshole.  

What was funny, was that Twitter didn't even let me see his messages to me until after i told him he fucking lied to me AND i was shown he talked shit about me behind my back (and yes, I have proof of this happening)- How I was projecting my own exp onto this.  Despite him linking narcissist videos on youtubes to me.  This is so absolutely fucked up.  Here he was, acting like he did no wrong and treating me like an idiot and then he tried to put it on me.  No.  That’s not how this works :)

Narseth is the one who dragged me into this, told me things that I really shouldn’t fucking know throughout, and then blamed me for stepping in as anyone would when something didn’t add up.  I did everything I could as a friend could be.  I tried to be patient and that didn’t work.  I tried to tell him what was what, and that didn’t work.  In the end, I found out the truth.  He tried to place the blame all on me and then he ran like a coward: left his guild/fc and transferred to another server from Faerie to Seraph.

Proof Below 

As a reminder: I’m only posting some.  This is MY side and pov of how he treated me and spoke to me about his lies.  I will not show anymore.  It's difficult to search in Discord when you have someone blocked and I will have to scroll through months of who said what.  I have these screenshots thanks to sharing with close friends at the time when the truth came to light of his lies.

Image below that I have him blocked on my discord with others being covered with black. 

(he has me blocked, so it doesn’t show his info such as having nitro or his old username as it would below from https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/12620128861463-New-Usernames-Display-Names in the “A New Profile Badge For Old Usernames” area)

Below is proof of the video he linked painting his narrative again about her when really it’s him.  I took these in February after I found out the other side of the story.  At that time, he claimed that he was quitting back in March (which is when I took this to show close friends) and had taken off all pics on his discord (icon and header on profile) so that’s why you see it different. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjbm7h8XMm4 is the video linked below.

below is him after linking the above video.   yes, that text in red is my edit when i showed someone about it: that he kept on repeating this “being a good partner”  before this.  Note what day this is: Christmas Day.  

Below is proof of some of the conversation on discord after i blocked him in game.  This was when I remembered “this is okay, she’s doing the things I want”.  Everything was churning inside me: how this was going, how upset he was, but also how it triggered my past experience.  I called him pathetic and I didn’t care how he would take it. He told me stop, as he usually did when I got angry and he didn’t like it.  H's no stranger to that.  This time though, I refused.  

I took these earlier this year before he changed his discord user with the discord update to show my close friends.  I'm the person that vents mainly to myself but when it's too much, I have close friends that we just get each other and know we need to let out steam.  

I have taken out the bottom part since it mentions his age and real name.  

Some context is missing in the next screenshot below showcasing my twitter messages because it’s NOT my story to tell..  This is how he emotionally abused and lied to me to the point I thought he was being an idiot [and he was, just in another way].  Keep in mind he was LYING all this fucking time. If you think it’s harsh, it’s meant to be.

He deserved every word from my mouth hiding it for three fucking months and costed me work and affected my mental health.    I was done, I was tired of his constant complaining, the whining every time he was upset, mad, sad, said he was done, no romance to be found, he’ll block her soon, she was [and he] was toxic, she didn’t do things for him, blah blah fucking blah.  Vent after loaded fucking vent that was the same song, same dance every two weeks or even one week.  Then all seemed to be well.  Then rinse and fucking REPEAT over and over and over again.  Week after week or every other week.  So yes, I was harsh and angry as anyone WOULD in my shoes.

This was the time I finally said fuck it and sent messages to the person whom he claimed was toxic and found out their side of the story.  They were not civil either and I will not be sharing it here since it was based on his lies.

For the image below, I suggest reading the other pic below it first to get context, but this is what he says in that screenshot that sent me into a cussing frenzy “she’s projecting her own shit”.

Bigger pic of the screenshot below, which felt like a punch in the gut.  This was when I didn’t recognize who he was and felt sick reading it.  I was angry at the same time finding all of this out and I felt fucking good letting him have it.

The red is covering the one whom he is talking to which he knows already was shared with me since i sent him this on Twitter.

As you can see above, Twitter didn’t load any of his messgaes until after I blocked him (which is why I kept cussing him out) so here are two pictures of what he said afterward when Twitter decided to load them.

End of proof.

[the-travelling-witch]

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀(𝐑)𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑

summary: ever since dating sebek, it seems you have not just landed yourself a boyfriend but also a personal knight

pairings: sebek x gn! reader

warnings: just fluff

a/n: a small blurb to air my feelings for the croc while i wait for my wrists to get better, so i can tackle bigger projects; i wanted to make this a hc-style post but i think i unlearned how to do that

twisted wonderland masterlist

Sebek is your knight in shining armour and, well, he definitely gives the job his utmost dedication. In terms of priorities, you’re right up there with Malleus, Lilia and Silver. Not that he’d ever -willingly- tell you that out loud, but it’s pretty obvious to everyone with eyes.

In terms of gentlemanliness, he brings out the big guns. True to textbook and the teachings of Lilia and Baur, Sebek will carry your bag(s) or textbooks without accepting much protest. He’s a personal guard for the great Malleus-sama, a weight as little as this is trivial to him! It’s best to just accept his service with a smile and a thanks.

The same goes for him holding doors open for you or protecting your head with his hand when you bend down to pick something up. While Sebek usually takes some time to read the room or grasp the context of a conversation at hand, he is very attentive when it comes to you. Not only does he take note of your preferences, he also makes sure you don’t forget or neglect to eat and drink enough. Given his training as a knight, he’s well acquainted with a healthy diet and keeps an eye on if you meet the recommended nutrient intake too. And Seven help the person who has the gall to actually disrespect you, Sebek will raise hell, his weapon and his volume if that’s what it takes to defend you.

By spending enough time with you, he also memorises your routines, almost without actually intending to. Sebek also listens to you intently, taking some matters more seriously than you even, and checks in on you throughout the day, especially when you told him about certain appointments. When it comes to any changes in your mental health, he might not pick up on it as fast as on any physical injuries, but you bet he is just as protective about it. His attempts to cheer you up might be a little clumsy, but they’re so genuine it already makes you feel better just through his effort alone. If he could physically fight your doubts and insecurities, you can bet that he would without hesitation.

At the end of the day, Sebek would try to help you with nearly everything to the best of his abilities, even if what you’re asking of him is outside of his strengths. You want to wear your hair a certain way? He has never tried to do anyone’s hair before but he will try to recreate the tutorial you have shown him, even if his fingers shake. Sure, he has never repotted a plant or taken care of one for longer periods of time, but just tell him what to do and he will follow your instructions. With his earnestness and determination to learn and his drive to help you, his attempts turn out at least decent in the majority of cases. Just don’t tease him when he doesn’t get it quite right the first time around.

For Sebek, his behaviour goes without saying. He’s your partner, of course he wants to support you in any way he can and to consider your welfare and feelings in what he does. Anything else would be ludicrous and inexcusable for someone of his standing. If you, however, show him any kind of affection in return for his attentiveness, he becomes utterly bashful. Tell him how much you appreciate his help or give him a grateful kiss on the cheek and watch him turn beet red as he stutters through his next sentence. In the literal heat of the moment, Sebek might blurt out something nonsensical but please know that your endorsement means everything to him and warms his heart. It may also boost his ego juuuuuust a smidge~

© the-travelling-witch 2024 - do not repost, translate, copy or edit; do not feed my writing to an ai

if you like my writing, reblogs, comments and asks are always much appreciated  ♡

➺ send in an ask to be added to or removed from my tag list

twisted wonderland: @scint1llat3 @honehbee42 @savanaclaw1996

[dollishmehrayan]

# “YOUR LIKE A PIECE OF ART!” ── .✦ ( batboys with a s/o who has a lot of tattoos. )

a/n: this was a request by anon actually (here) anyways omg a lot of you guys are sending nationality requests like Irish!reader, Moroccan!reader, Canadian!reader and etc omgg anyways yesterday I took a small break and now I’m back!!! So yeahh tags: (batboys x a s/o who has a lot of tattoos)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

Absolutely adores your tattoos. He finds them mesmerizing and often asks about the stories behind them.

"Wait, this one—what does it mean? And this one? You gotta explain it all to me!" He’s so genuinely interested it’s adorable.

Loves tracing his fingers over them absentmindedly. It’s his favorite way to relax, especially after a long patrol.

If you’re open to it, he’d love to get matching tattoos with you. Something small and meaningful, like a star or an acrobat silhouette.

He’s always hyping you up. “God, you look so cool! How did I even land you?”

JASON TODD ── .✦

Finds your tattoos ridiculously attractive. You’re like a walking piece of art, and he can’t stop staring.

“Another one? Damn, I’m gonna run out of compliments if you keep adding masterpieces to your body.”

Appreciates the rebellious vibe that tattoos give, but loves that yours are deeply personal too.

If you designed any of them yourself, he’s in awe. “Wait—you drew this? Babe, you’re a genius.”

He won’t admit it, but he’s been low-key considering getting a tattoo himself—something to match or complement yours.

Loves running his hand over them, especially while you're cuddling. He’d act cool about it, but he’s secretly obsessed.

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

At first, he might be a little shy about it—he’s not used to tattoos or the culture surrounding them.

"So… do they hurt? Like, a lot? Or just a bit?" He’s curious but hesitant to admit he’s interested.

After you explain the meanings and the artistry behind them, he gains a deep respect for your tattoos.

He’d geek out over the symbolism if any of them are literary or historical references.

Secretly thinks you’re the coolest person ever. Your tattoos add a boldness and confidence that he’s drawn to.

If you ever wanted to get another one, Tim would offer to help you research the best tattoo artists.

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

He’s intrigued but tries to act indifferent. “Tattoos are superficial… but I suppose these are aesthetically pleasing.”

Secretly, he’s fascinated. He’ll examine your tattoos closely and ask about their meanings when he thinks you’re not paying too much attention.

If any of your tattoos are animals or nature-related, he’s deeply impressed. “A bunny? You’ve chosen well.”

Will jokingly criticize any tattoo he doesn’t like, but you know he’s not serious. He secretly admires all of them.

If you tell him you’re getting another one, he might suggest an animal that resonates with your personality. "Perhaps a panther would suit you."

Low-key, he’d be jealous if anyone else commented on how cool your tattoos are. He doesn’t like sharing your attention.

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

At first, he’d be a bit taken aback—it’s not something he’s used to, and he’s very traditional.

But once he understands that your tattoos have personal meaning, he respects your choices completely.

“You’re a work of art. Literally and figuratively.” He means it sincerely, even if it’s cheesy.

He might not be entirely comfortable showing off your tattoos in formal settings (Wayne galas and such), but he would never ask you to hide them. Instead, he would encourage you to flaunt them confidently.

Secretly, he’s fascinated by the process and would love to watch you get a tattoo one day, just to understand it better.

If anyone makes a rude comment about your tattoos, Bruce would shut them down instantly with his trademark icy glare.

RANDOM CONVOS WITH THEM THAT WOULD HAPPEN ── .✦

with dick

Dick: “So, if I get your name tattooed, does that mean I own your heart forever?”

You: “Only if it’s spelled right.”

With jason

Jason: “If you ever get a tattoo of my name, make it small. I don’t want to be embarrassed when you dump me.”

You: “you think I’ll dump you randomly?”

jason: “who wouldn’t, I’m a high maintenance guy.”

With tim

Tim: He accidentally zones out during a conversation because he’s staring at a detailed tattoo and trying to figure out the design.

With damian

Damian: “Tt, if I were to get a tattoo, it would be far more impressive than yours.” You: “Damian, I literally have a dragon sleeve.”

With bruce

Bruce: “Do all of these mean something? Or did you just think they looked… fashionable?”

You: “Some are meaningful, but yeah, Bruce. Some just look cool

[delirious-donna]

You’ve taken Zayne’s tie hostage, it’s time for the negotiations to begin but things don’t go quite how the good doctor imagined…

an: this is a repost in case anyone finds it familiar, it was originally posted on my LADS blog and I have made it private over there for now <3 Based on the Hostage phone call with Zayne.

pairing: Zayne x female reader

tw: fluff, NSFW, wearing his clothes, suggestive and flirty, very slow fluffy sex, intimacy through the roof, starts teasing and gets deeper, implied unprotected sex, Zayne being the sweetest boy

“… my tie? You’ve taken my tie hostage?”

Zayne’s brow furrowed as he listened to the playful lilt of your voice. No matter how serious you tried to sound, there was no way of keeping the almost laughter at bay the longer you spoke.

“He was left all alone on my couch. Apparently he thought he had been abandoned,” you continued whilst the black silk played between your fingers.

There was a silence, and for a moment you thought he wouldn’t play along with your little charade, but Zayne often surprised you when you least expected it.

“I see. Well, we can’t have him feeling unwanted, can we? Shall we arrange hostage negotiations for tonight? I’ll bring a bottle of wine, perhaps that will help loosen up his captor and lessen their demands.”

You smothered your laughter with a palm, the black tie pressed across your mouth and nose enough for you to inhale Zayne’s cologne and the aroma of coffee.

“It’s a date. Oh, and Zayne?”

“Yes?”

“Negotiations might get rough if you’re not careful,” you teased with a deliberate purr.

Zayne inhaled harshly and the sound of it sent a thrill skittering down your spine. Before he could reply, you disconnected the call and skipped into your bedroom to plan the perfect outfit…

~

“Doors open,” you yelled from the doorway of your bedroom, waiting until you heard the soft snick of the front door opening and closing before turning to give yourself a final glance in the mirror.

Your fingers smoothed down imaginary creases, nerves settling on your shoulders but you were certain that your efforts would not go unappreciated. Zayne was often reserved, guarded in his actions and reactions but you had heard his breathless gasp clear as day when you spoke on the phone this morning.

The longer you stood here worrying, the more your bottle would crash. Throwing your shoulders back, you nodded to your reflection and padded out of the room on bare feet to find the good doctor.

He stood in your small kitchen nook, back to you whilst he worked on uncorking the bottle of wine in his hand. A black shirt stretched across his back and broad shoulders, the sleeves meticulously rolled to his elbows. You caught your lip between your teeth, admiring him with a long lustful rake of your eyes until he froze.

Caught.

“You shouldn’t… stare,” Zayne said, turning to face you. His expression shifted from cool amusement to dumbstruck as he took you in.

You leaned against the wall with a subtle smile, watching as his own gaze slowly descended to your bare, wiggling toes and caressed your body upwards in slow appreciation. You could see his throat working. Not long after, a long finger loosened the tie at his collar and popped open the top buttons.

“Am I to guess that you like what you see, doctor?”

Zayne groaned. A pinched expression creasing his brow whilst he searched for words that would be articulative enough to express the thoughts tumbling through his head. He was not accustomed to feeling this… off balance.

He swallowed and gave a shallow nod—not quite trusting his voice yet.

Your legs were as bare as the feet twisting on the hardwood flooring, smooth and soft, inviting. His fingers twitched against the pocket of his trousers, desire building behind his navel to push those same twitching fingertips into the plush of your skin.

The white dress shirt was clearly one of his from a previous night sleeping over and it hung beautifully on your smaller body. The buttons only done up so much, allowing for one shoulder to peer out and tempt him into closing the distance between you.

Zayne was moving before he became aware of it. Your chin tilted upward, lips open on a noiseless breath. Your jaw tensed for a split second when he cupped your face and lowered his mouth to your ear.

“Like…” he breathed, warmth tickling your skin, “… is a grave understatement.”

The tie that had started all of this caught his attention at long last. Knot loose, midnight silk decorating your décolletage. He was jealous of his tie which was inanely stupid, yet he couldn’t deny the emotion. He fingered the tail to pull it lower between the valley of your breasts.

“The hostage in question. He appears to be suffering Stockholm Syndrome, and I can’t say I blame him.”

“I’ve given him a good home, treated him with kindness and a warm heart,” you cooed, leaning into the strength of his body just to feel something more—more of him.

“Is it ridiculous that I’m jealous?”

“No. Feel your feelings, Zayne. It’s not ridiculous but I can assure you that I’d treat you even better.”

His thumb drew a line from below your ear down the side of your neck and over to the hollow at your throat. You were going to be the death of him, and somehow that thought wasn’t so scary when he imagined the way he’d go.

“Tell me more…”

~

A breadcrumb trail of clothing led from the living room to the bottom of your bed. Each garment carefully discarded like unwrapping a gift with the most exquisite wrappings—beautiful and deserving of the utmost care.

Despite the desire growing hot in your belly, you would savour every inch of his and your skin that was revealed. There was all the time in the world, especially when it was just the two of you. Nothing else mattered.

Zayne’s shoulders were tense when you pushed off his shirt. His stomach dipped when your nimble fingers worked the leather belt free from its buckle. His breathing quickened as you undid the top button on his trousers, and only worsened when the sound of metal teeth peeling apart thundered throughout the room.

Only the tie remained.

Once you had carefully peeled away his clothes, it was his turn to strip you and thankfully there wasn’t much for him to remove to have you completely bare—except for the tie.

The length of black silk dangled towards his body, the very end tickling across the broad expanse of his chest, framed by your flush palms. Your thighs bracketed lean hips, knees subtly squeezing his sides as his hands wandered your naked skin, fingertips dimpling into the yielding softness.

Apple blossom pink stained the high contours of his cheekbones whilst the tips of his ears beat a more vivid red. Zayne’s gaze bounced around your face, meeting your low-lidded eyes only to stray away in a bashfulness that made you tighten all over.

“Should I keep it on?”

“Mm, yes. I like it on you… very much,” Zayne admitted. It was accompanied by a slight buck of his hips that resulted in a quiet squeal and a giggle.

Composing yourself, and leaning in so your face was mere inches from his, you nosed his cheek softly. “Why do you like it, Dr. Zayne?”

He gave a strangled noise of resignation. “Because it’s something of mine on your body. It’s primal, the part of my brain that wants to rub my scent across your skin to ward off everyone else.”

Zayne grasped at your hips and moved you higher so his face was buried in your chest. His warm cheek nuzzled against the valley of your breasts, breath tickling your skin until it rippled with goosebumps and your nipples tightened.

Your fingers carded through the dark forest of his hair, nails lightly scratching at his scalp whilst you effectively cradled his head against you. Cooing sweet nothings until you felt eager lips wrap around your puffy nipple. Zayne moaned into the sensation of worshiping you with his tongue, licking around and over the peak only to come back to suckling gently.

The intimacy was enough to tighten your chest, but it didn’t stop the warm drip of desire low in your belly. You could feel his cock sandwiched between your bodies, you knew when it twitched. Eventually, the need was too much to deny and you reached between you to grasp the base of him gently.

His careful ministrations paused, every muscle tensing whilst he assessed your intention. With a slow roll of your fist, you pumped his cock from base to tip. Your thumb smeared through the pretty pearlescent precum leaking from his tip, working it down his shaft and nudging your knees further apart.

“My love, I—we don’t have to.”

“But do you want to?” You countered, humming when the heat of him licked at your folds and dipped inside to rub your pert little clit.

Zayne groaned low in his throat, unable to resist the urge to rock himself against you over and over—slow, methodical, precise.

“Yes…”

“Good. I want to as well. Now, let me… that’s it.”

With a steady adjustment, you sank down to impale yourself. The stretch was bliss, your walls more than ready to accept him home and bask in the feeling of completion.

You were two puzzle pieces in a box of thousands, but only when you came together did things seem right with the universe.

There was no rush, every roll of your body was taken at leisure to dance alongside the shared kisses and soft touches. Zayne marked a path of kisses from the hollow of your throat to your shoulder then back again.

The tie which started everything became wedged between your chests, almost forgotten, but not really. It complimented your soft yielding figure against the muscled definition of the good doctor—your good doctor.

“Zayne…”

“I know, I’m right there with you,” he replied without needing context. “Let yourself go, beloved. Let yourself go and I will follow you… to the ends of the earth and beyond.”

A crowd of tears gathered behind your eyes at his softly uttered words, knowing that they weighed more than any precious metal because they came directly from his heart. You refused to let them spill, instead, focusing in on the pleasure and the swelling sensation of impending release.

Your hips stalled and Zayne was quick to help you, guiding you up and down until your body spasmed and you flopped, prone, against his chest.

His soft grunts echoed inside your ear, residual twitches of his spent cock causing you to clench and tighten through your blissful flight through orgasm.

Every noise felt amplified and you slowly realised it was the thundering of his heart. Your muscles went lax, your body draping his like a personal weighted blanket whilst his ever gentle fingertips traced your spine.

You might have fallen asleep had he not spoken…

“I no longer wish to negotiate terms for the hostage,” he whispered into the depths of your hair, “I’d like you to keep me too… if you’ll have me?”

He would be yours forevermore, and you couldn’t be more in love.

[aurumalatus]

𝐩𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐚𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝟏

pairing. kinich x fem!reader

genre/warnings. pixelprincess!au (princess!reader x knight!kinich), reposted for formatting lol

summary. a series of random headcanons from the universe! part 1 of many because i have lots of thoughts about these two

author's note. feel free to come scream about some more headcanons with me <3 enjoy!

𝐩𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐚𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

kinich and the princess have known about each other for a long time, but it’s only recently that they’ve really talked a lot and become close (since kinich became your guard)

kinich is a bit more open in this universe because although he grew up an orphan, he was recruited into the guard earlier and taken care of by his fellow trainees and the castle staff. he’s still pretty serious and deadpan at his core but he has a bit of silly in him too 

the maids especially used to dote on him a lot. they would coo about how beautiful his eyes are and sneak him cakes and sweets from the kitchen

kinich and the princess actually had one key interaction when they were children that she doesn’t remember

the princess came down with a bad illness and had to stay in her room for about a week. kinich was assigned guard right outside her room, but she never saw him. still, they used to talk a lot during that week through her door, and she never quite figured out who her temporary friend was.

princess used to be *very* spoiled and she knows this. kinich is one of the only people who knocks her down a peg, and he also taught her how to do a lot of practical things (i.e. cleaning, cooking, weaving) 

kinich takes his shirt off by grabbing the back of his collar and pulling it over his head (idk if i’m describing this well, but the image in my head is INSANE). 

once they actually get together, kinich is the type to kiss the princess’s tears away when she cries (i’m going to scream)

kinich secretly has always known he loved the princess in some capacity, maybe since the day he was inducted as her guard (he looked up into her eyes, knelt before her, and felt something burst in his chest). he doesn’t feel like he deserves her love in return and feels so committed to his duty that he won’t do anything about it.

kinich isn’t afraid of dying, but he’s afraid of leaving the princess alone. it’s the reason why he insists on teaching her so many practical things like fighting—he doesn’t trust anyone else to protect her like he can.

there’s a yearly tournament among the guards (and any citizens that want to enter) that is held to win the royals’ favor. kinich is required to participate due to his position, but he tries a lot harder than he lets on—something about letting another guard win kind of irritates him. he wins your ribbon as a prize, a sign of your personal favor, and keeps it on him at all times. he claims it’s just to prove that you owe him.

kinich is a TERROR in the capital marketplace. sellers love him and hate him—he’s fair, but he barters like HELL. you, on the other hand, are any easy target. you will pay pretty much any price they name, and this irritates kinich greatly.

kinich is in charge of training newer recruits to the guard, and older members will warn them not to mention the princess in front of him. last time someone said something disrespectful about her, kinich had them running laps until the sun came up.

most mornings, kinich trains at sunrise. the princess will come out to join him sometimes, either to just lay down in the grass and talk, or to bring out a picnic

many princesses from other nations are attracted to kinich, but he does not return the sentiment—whenever one tries to talk to him, he acts extremely dry and boring on purpose until they lose interest.

kinich has a lot of piercings, but they're not always optimal to fight in—on days when he expects a battle, he wears a pair of studs that the princess gifted him

the castle maids have a running bet on how long it will take you and kinich to get married. sometimes they try to push it along by telling kinich you're looking for him when you aren't, just to pull the two of you together. the pot is over one million Mora, and at some point, the queen joins as well.

[moonlight-prose]

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME

➛ 03. BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER

a/n: we are getting down to the nitty and gritty of this man's pain. and he's finally starting to the accept the fact that he has to talk about what happened to him. honestly out of all the chapters this one might be my favorite. solely for the soft vibes i tried to shove into what is already a very angsty story. also somehow wade weaseled his way further into this chapter than i intended him to. so enjoy the humor i've tried to add throughout. (i am reposting this since it didn't show up in the tags yesterday.)

summary: to open up was like taking a knife to a steel door. he never saw the use in letting someone in. but dinner spent in your company and conversations over wine and whiskey is where things begin to take a turn.

word count: 8.3k+ (i don't even know how tf that happened.)

pairing: logan howlett x f!reader

warnings: partially explicit scene, angst by the bucket load, vulnerable and emotional logan, grief, trauma, heartache, fluff, domestic vibes, alcohol consumption, wade breaking the fourth wall, wade being a shit wingman, the beginnings of something more.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER | SERIES MASTERLIST

Blood poured over his hands and soaked into the ground below. The warmth of it coated his senses, dug into the grooves and lines of his palms. He swore he felt it down to his bones. Now permanently mixed with a version of him long forgotten—the man who used to smile.

Their shouts of pain rendered him immobile. Useless to help them, useless to save their lives. Useless. Useless. Useless. He fought against the restraints, the invisible shackles put there by his own hands. Whether to stop him from going or to keep him from harm—he'd never know—but he battled regardless. With a snarl, he felt them snap, his claws sliding free in all their familiarity. A weapon of destruction unable to be used for salvation.

When he began to run he felt it. The piercing echo of her. The power she emanated as they took her life, brought her to the brink of death. He felt her voice punch through his chest—puncturing him in his heart. She screamed his name with her final breath. Called out for his help; for him to save them all.

He could almost see her in his mind, the horror that befell a school of such powerful people. And he loathed himself for breathing. For living after they were taken so quickly from him.

His family. His home.

What once existed would no longer return. That alone broke him further than their deaths. The knowledge that his world—his universe—would be without their heroes. So much of their worth had been given to humanity. Only to be stripped of their lives within the blink of an eye.

And he couldn't save them. He could barely stand on his own two feet without stumbling.

"Logan!" The scream split along his skull, rupturing veins that healed far too quickly for his liking.

What the fuck was the point of his abilities if he couldn't put them to use? If he couldn't do the one thing they counted on him for.

Their blood stuck to him, burrowing into skin that would never scar. He'd never have proof of the wounds that rested along his heart. Forever damned to carry the weight of his own failure—the guilt that ate him alive. For what? To tell the story he could barely stomach himself? What was his life to the lives of those who meant so much more?

Why did he have to fucking live?

He stood on the doorstep. Death stained the walls, pierced the air with its pungent copper tang. He keeled over at the bushes, all the alcohol he'd consumed expelling itself from his body at the sight. His family was dead. His family was dead and he couldn't join them. He couldn't fucking die.

What once felt like a gift—eternity to find these people who loved him—now rang true with the only word that could make sense. Curse. His curse.

"No," he gasped, eyes bleary with tears as he scrambled to his feet and sprinted through the broken down door.

His claws came free, expecting a fight. Only to be met with silence. An eerie echo of nothing.

No laughter, no life, no chatter of students.

Nothing.

The breath ripped from his lungs as a blaring horn spilled in through the apartment's open window. In an attempt to get some cool air, he pushed the couch closer to what airflow there was. The only downside was hearing everything as he slept. Each little noise and loud mouthed fucker as they wandered the rather empty street. He wanted to leave—move to a better spot where humanity was sparse—but the pull of you across the street kept him there.

"Fuck," he grunted, eyes blinking away the nightmare that tore at his psyche.

The bottle of whiskey underneath the kitchen cabinet called his name. Offering a respite against the horrors he couldn't run from. And with a pained groan, he stumbled towards it—grabbing his coffee mug from the counter. The amber liquid felt bitter against the back of his throat. A familiar burn he welcomed.

He may not be able to stay injured, but this he could have. The darkness at the end of the bottle. The silence he found in collapsing drunk against the couch.

The streetlight outside lit the area filled with trash and the few people sleeping in darkened alleys. If he listened hard enough he could hear their heartbeats. Smell the pungent scent of the city as it seeped through the window. He could feel the thrum of New York beneath his feet—unfamiliar in its nature but home nonetheless.

The sight of a light flicking on grasped his attention—a glimpse of you staggering to the kitchen for a glass of water clear through your window. You should really get curtains, or blinds. He'd help install them for you. But then he'd never get this again. A small insight into your life, a peek into what he left behind a day ago.

Your lips against his still seared through his body—your moans and want for more left him breathless. And he had to go and fuck it up. Just as he did with everything in his life. He ruined the good. Corrupted the innocent.

Doing the same to you felt unfathomable—painful.

But how could he stop?

When you were catching his gaze in the window. Your glass of water was forgotten and the blanket dropped to the leather chair behind you. He left the bottle on the floor by the couch, his empty mug beside it as you grabbed for something. Logan yearned to hear your voice. To apologize for how he left things. But saying sorry never came easy and he found that keeping you at a distance was much safer than what he actually wanted.

The ringing on his phone broke his penetrating gaze. He reached for it quickly, pressing it to his ear as you brought your phone to yours. A breath was all that echoed through the small speaker—soft and warm. He swore he could feel it against his cheek. Hear the echo of your heart pounding beneath his.

"Can't sleep?" you uttered, finally putting his mind at ease. He exhaled a deep breath—hearing it fill your ears as warmth trailed down your spine.

"Nightmares."

You watched him stand still as stone. His fingers gripped the phone for assurance. A sense of stability from a past that had already cracked him in half. The sorrow in his eyes practically bled through the streets. Lapping at your feet like the waves on a shore. And in an act so unlike yourself, you took a step forward. You stood in his grief and offered to drag him to the sand—gave him hope that this world might treat him differently.

Logan wouldn't save himself because he believed he deserved it.

He'd save himself because he knew you deserved a better man.

"Do they happen often?"

The soft echo of your voice tinged with sleep set his mind at ease. For the first time that night he felt himself breathe properly. He could taste the sweetness in the air, the heat that clung to his skin held traces of you when you started to open your window.

Leaving you at your door suddenly felt like the stupidest decision he'd ever made. But the fear is what kept him at a safe distance. He couldn't hurt you here in this shitty apartment. He couldn't destroy what good you held in your heart standing here at an open window.

"Every night," he rasped. His hand clenched, the bones of his knuckles shifting as silver began to peek through the pierced skin.

He knew you could see it. He heard your heart speed up through the phone. And with a ragged sigh, he retracted them forcefully—hiding the beast within to present you with the man beyond.

"You don't have to hide them from me." If you turned, you'd see the punctures in your door you tried to hide with duct tape. The claws that came free because of your touch—your kiss.

They should have scared you.

Logan almost wished they had.

"You don't want to see that part of me honey," he muttered, watching as you stood closer to the ledge—your hand pressed to the chipped wood. "It's not all sunshine and rainbows."

You laughed and he felt it down his spine. "No. I think that's only in Wade's mind."

"Don't say that fucker's name please," he groaned. "Not while I have you here."

"Did I touch a nerve? Wolverine?"

Your smile deepened, mischief practically dripping from your words. Yet Logan couldn't help fixating on the way his title sounded off your tongue. The hero name he loathed for so long suddenly made his heart flip. He gripped the phone tight enough until he heard a faint crackling sound—his body going taut at the thought of you saying it under different circumstances.

Moving past the subject was all he could do. All he wanted to do.

"Why are you up bub?"

You sighed, leaning against the window frame. "Restless. Too much energy from the day."

"Not too much moving in the archives huh?"

"I'll have you know I walk constantly. It's a very demanding job."

He snorted. "Down to the end of the bookshelves and back?"

"Shut up." Your laughter echoed across the street and it nearly startled him how normal he felt. How human. "I can guarantee my job is a lot more work than yours."

"You're right. Saving the universe is nothin' when it comes to books."

"I'm going to hang up."

"Don't. I'll stop." Despite his serious tone, he didn't try to stop the chuckle you felt strike against your heart. The husk of its deep nature.

The memory of his touch still rang clear in your mind. How his lips molded against yours, his body firm and hot beneath your touch. You weren't restless because of work. In fact you felt the pain in your feet begin to spread up your calves the longer you stood there. You couldn't sleep because of him. Too busy replaying that moment to find time in your schedule to sleep.

"Logan." His gaze fell serious at the soft murmur of his name. "Tell me about your dream."

He bit back the urge to push you away, to claim he was fine. That nothing happened and acknowledging it wouldn't save him from himself. But that's not what you were trying to accomplish, and he knew that. He could see it clearly in front of his face. But he was a man hardened by the nature of silence—of ignoring his pain until it eventually withered and died inside him.

Changing that wasn't a battle he'd win tonight. Nor tomorrow.

He sighed, seeing how you fought back a yawn. "Not tonight honey."

"Why–"

"I will." Your breath echoed loudly in his head. He wished he could feel it. "I'll tell you everything. Just not tonight."

Your finger traced the silhouette of him against the glass. "When?"

"I don't know." He imagined your touch was against his skin, pictured how you'd trace the lines of his muscles. How you'd lick along his veins for a taste of him on your tongue. "Tell me about your day."

"That's boring," you groaned.

"Not to me bub. I like history." He smiled. "I used to teach it."

"Fuck off. Did you really?" You perked up within seconds, eyes alight as they were the other night. And Logan felt himself get dragged in a bit deeper. He knew he was fucked the second he saw you, but now...there was no stopping the inevitability of you. "I guess I learn something new every day. James."

He growled, low and hungry—pleasure filling his stomach. "Don't start somethin' you can't finish honey."

Silence filled the air and Logan felt the doubt pull at his nerves. He watched you lean into the glass, your scent filtering through the warm air. Sharp and heady. Darker than your usual honeyed sweetness; the taste of it spread along his tongue—shivers rolling down his back. You wanted him. No fuck that.

You needed him.

"And if I want to," you breathed, trepidation and hope overlapping in your words. "Finish this."

He bared his teeth in a grin that felt feral—as if he could taste your flesh. "We will," he stated with such severity. A promise lined in truth for once. "Now go on. Tell me about your day."

He awoke to the sounds of clashing pots and pans being tossed on the stove—the incessant beep of the coffee machine blaring off every thin wall. And Wade singing loudly—and horribly—to some fucking pop song from the eighties Logan would learn the name of against his will. He groaned, slamming his head back against the couch in the hopes that this was all a dream.

If he wished hard enough maybe he'd wake up to silence.

Or to you.

"Good morning peanut!" Wade's voice shouted, another bang sounding off behind him. "I've got coffee, Canadian bacon, and the final answer for what came first—the chicken or the egg."

Logan longed to stab himself in the skull. This quick healing factor became a fucking pain in the ass at the worst of times. He staggered into the kitchen, immediately wishing he'd drank the entire bottle of whiskey last night at the sight of Wade in a pair of white underwear and nothing else.

"What the fuck." He shut his eyes, reaching blindly for a mug and the coffee pot.

"Yeah..." Wade slammed the pan on the stove, a now broken yolk spilling over the edge. "Laundry day and Al called dibs on the top load. Just call me Risky Business."

Logan's sigh was ragged, beyond exhausted as he gulped down the first dose of searing coffee. "He wore a shirt in that fucking movie."

"Lookie here! Someone is up to date on their Tom Cruise movies. Don't tell me you're a Top Gun fan honey badger because I have some fucking news for you. We topped them for highest grossing movie of all time." Wade smiled as the destroyed egg slid onto a chipped plate. "Financially topped. Personally, I don't think scientology allows Tom Cruise to fuck anymore."

"I'm not listenin' to your fuckin' bullshit," he grunted, pouring another cup.

The charred egg was slid his way. "Aren't you gonna ask me?"

"Ask you what?"

Talking this early in the morning made the veins in his throat strain—his grip on the mug nearly cracking the porcelain. In times like this Logan felt the overwhelming need to throw his roommate out the fucking window.

If only to get thirty seconds of hearing him scream on the way down.

"What came first."

He moved to make another pot of coffee, ignoring the chatter that fell from Wade's mouth. In order to even feel coherent enough to make sense of it, he'd need four more cups. Or enough to bathe in if the morning didn't calm down. The sun blinded him as he turned to glance out the window; the air stale and hot choked his senses. He'd never felt this overstimulated before—this out of place.

"You look like you've seen better days in a horror movie. Up having late night phone sex?" Wade grinned and leaned across the counter—his head in his hand and love in his eyes. "Tell me about it, stud? Tell me more, tell me more. Did you get very far?"

"Oh god," Logan groaned, slamming the coffee pot back into place. "Can you shut the fuck up for once? I'm begging you."

"Did you beg her?"

His claws pressed to Wade's smug face—blood spilling against his cheek. "I will cut your fuckin' mouth off."

"I just wanna know why you're waiting so long to give her the Hugh Jackman."

"The what?" he growled, heat blistering against his face.

"Ya know." The crude gesture to his groin had him digging his claws directly into Wade's cheek. But even then he mumbled around the metal piercing his skin. "The package. The full shebang. Rock her like a hurricane—or whatever the fuck that German band was talking about. Cause I sure know she's aching for it."

"Don't fucking talk about her like that."

Wade smiled until his cheek sliced down to his mouth. The sight was disgusting enough for Logan to forgo wanting breakfast. And lunch. And dinner at that.

"You don't believe me! HA! Let me tell you, you're pretty but there's nothing going on up there." A tap on Logan's forehead forced the claws to sink just a bit deeper. "That sweet angel across the street is ready to save that horse and ride you instead cowboy. All. Night. Long."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Yet even as he said the words he felt the lie stick to the back of his throat.

Last night's conversation was proof enough that Wade was telling the truth. Even Logan could fucking see what was right in front of him. Someone beautiful, someone smart. Someone...he wasn't worthy of. If he combined all those factors he only came up with one conclusion. The longer he stayed away from you, the better you'd wind up being.

The safer you'd stay if he wasn't constantly shoving his way into your life.

The loud sigh from Wade's healing mouth shoved another wave of guilt into Logan's stomach. "Look. Ignore it all you want, but sooner or later you're gonna wind up with only your hand for some company and she'll find someone who actually wants to be with her."

Wade was right. For once.

What Logan didn't expect was the anger he felt at the visual of you finding someone else. The rage that nearly overwhelmed him. That's how it should be. You with someone better, a man who actually gave you a chance at a relationship. One that wasn't doomed from the very start. He let the thought simmer, chewed on it for as long as he could.

And not a minute later came to the answer he'd been looking for.

Logan would rip apart any other man without hesitation if they came into your life.

This wasn't a fling. He'd known that on his Earth and knew it now. He clawed his way out of a grave once to get back to you. And he would do it again and again and again. As many times as it took to make sure he got a glimpse of your smile, felt the love in your touch.

"Grab your shit we've got somewhere to be," he grumbled, shoving the burned egg in his mouth and washing it down with fresh black coffee to kill the taste.

"Yes! Now there's the Wolverine I know." Wade shouted, pumping his fist in the air. Logan couldn't tell if he was being vulgar or not. 

"Let's go bang your girl!" A snarl ripped through his throat, blood splattering on his bare chest as he pinned Wade to the wall—his claws embedded in the man's heart. "Or you bang her and I quietly stay at home with the window open to serenade you two with the sensual sounds of Marvin Gaye."

He grinned, eyes flashing over Logan's shoulder. "Directly from Sam Wilson's playlist if you know what I'm getting at Marvel fuckers."

On days where people were stuck at work and students infiltrated the library above, you found the solace of the archives to be everything you needed. For an hour you'd been placing books in their correct spots, labeling boxes to be housed somewhere new, and theorizing where you went wrong the other night when Logan left.

You didn't want to let the disappointment get to you. Nor should you. The phone conversation last night clarified enough for you to know him leaving wasn't your fault. It wasn't due to your kiss or even because he didn't want to be there. He simply hadn't healed from what his world did to him. Whatever Wade mentioned to you in a ramble of semi-seriousness gave you enough of a picture to know what that might have been.

No matter how much you wanted to help him; to make him see that you weren't scared of what he had to give. This wasn't your war.

Logan made sure you understood that.

That still didn't stop the swell of dismay at his actions. The belief that you weren't good enough to hear his story began to eat you alive the longer he pushed it off. Each comment came tinged with pain you'd never be privy to. Agony he wanted to endure alone.

You would give him the space he needed—the time that was required in order to heal from wounds you couldn't see. They were there. Dug into the shape of his heart—carved into the metal of his bones—but Logan wouldn't allow you to bear witness to that. To a broken side of a man who wanted to be better. If only he knew he didn't have to be for you to ache for him.

The thought of him alone left your heart twisting in your chest and stomach fluttering.

You slid another book into the correct spot, silence echoing like a void that went on for miles. Only for the ring of your phone to shatter it like glass. You scrambled for the device in your purse, breath filling your lungs at the sight of his name as it flashed across your screen. 

Maybe this made you seem desperate—a type of clingy that would make any other man run. You couldn't find it in yourself to give a shit.

"Logan," you said—his name leaving your mouth in a breathy manner you regret within moments.

"Oh shit girl you've got it bad."

The pounding of your heart jumped at the loud echo of Wade's voice blasting through the small speaker. "Wade?"

"The one and holy." To say you were perplexed felt like an understatement. But before you could spill the millions of questions on your tongue, Wade kept going. "Hey! What kind of wood do you prefer?"

A loud rumble of an engine blared in the background—killing your ears. "What?"

"Oh right fuck me. Silly question. There's twelve thousand words already written about what type of wood you prefer." He laughed as the sound came again. "I'm talking the tree kind. Got a preference for scents?"

"She's not gonna be able to smell it you dumb fuck!" Logan shouted. You heard an audible screech before a loud rustle had you pulling the phone from your ear with a groan. "Honey?"

You smiled, walking towards the part of the room that didn't echo with your voice. "I'm scared to ask what you guys are doing today."

"Oh," he chuckled. You wished he'd bought a better phone, longing to see each expression that crossed his face. "I owe you a door."

That kiss reemerged in your memory once more. Burning through your body in quick rapid strokes. As if Logan was fanning the flames of something stronger—a fire that you wouldn't be able to control. You imagined what he looked like at this moment, if he still wore the exhausted look of grief from last night. Or if he'd covered it with a mask of annoyance due to Wade.

"I can just call the building manager to fix it." You put it on your list of things to do today already, but the idea of seeing Logan again was too tempting to pass up.

He huffed, falling silent. Wade's voice shouting about the Lorax became all you heard for a brief moment—Logan no doubt figuring out what he could say to fix this. The glimpse of him last night had set your teeth on edge in a way you'd never experienced before. You felt you could sink your canines into the tension and rip it to shreds with ease.

"Where I come from it's only right to fix what I broke."

What he broke.

This wasn't about the door. You could see it clearly in the pained way he spoke his words—each one more clear than the last. Leaving you in a rush with no fucking explanation left him worried that you weren't going to be around if he kept pushing you away. You were something good—a light he sought in the darkness he found himself in—and messing up this chance wasn't going to happen twice.

He'd done this before. He pushed those he loved away.

Doing the same with you only made his chest echo with the hollow emptiness that he'd grown tired of feeling.

"You can fix my door under one condition," you said, effectively breaking the silence.

"Anythin'."

The flutter in your chest felt lethal when he spoke to you like this; open and willing to bend where you wanted him to go. A man had never given you this before. The attention, the knowledge that he wanted all of you. Not just sex, or meaningless conversations. He wanted every piece you were open to sharing—every dark crevice and thought you felt embarrassed about.

You only wished he'd understand you wanted the exact same thing from him.

"Dinner. My place. Seven p.m."

Fuck what you wouldn't give to see his smile as he let out a sigh of relief. "I won't be late."

You smiled, worrying your lip between your teeth—that familiar gooey warmth now back in your chest. "You better not be."

"I've got great timing honey. Got nothin' to worry about."

Bullshit. You nearly said it, but a loud shuffle and a few bitten off curse words—mainly growled on Logan's end—cut your conversation short. A triumphant laugh you could only figure to be Wade's pierced your eardrum as the phone was unwillingly handed off once again.

"I just want to let you know I've got money on whether or not he nails you tonight. So don't let me down cupcake."

"You're betting on this?" you exclaimed, loud enough to hear your voice bounce off the walls and echo back to where your supervisor was no doubt sitting.

"Of course. I'm not one to turn down the sleazy art of gambling." He sighed wistfully. You'd never wanted to punch someone more in this moment; suddenly aware that this is how Logan must feel every day of his life. "Besides if you heard the sounds that came out of our shower this afternoon. Oh ho ho. Something tells me that he was letting off some Steam Boat Willy to the thought of his late night phone buddy."

Disgust at Wade's words was rapidly overshadowed by the thought of Logan in the shower. Naked and desperate to find some release after your conversation last night. To say you hadn't pictured what he'd look like hard and aching from your touch would be a lie. But actually knowing that's what happened left you winded.

Your chest heaved as your body grew warm—the image of him with his hand around his cock, his head thrown back in pleasure, almost made your knees give out.

"Your thinkin' about it huh?" The overconfidence in Wade's voice snapped you back to reality within seconds.

"Shut up."

"Got ya red handed angel."

With a roll of your eyes, you made to head back to your work—Wade's words only served to fluster you more than you wanted. "Don't piss him off too much okay Wilson?"

His laughter nearly appeased you as the piercing sound of a saw went off again. The both of them must have ventured to a warehouse to find materials. You wanted to confirm your thoughts when Wade did it for you. As if he could hear you loud and clear.

"Who knew our man had lumberjack experience?" He sighed dreamily, a shout of what you guessed was Logan saying fuck off filtering through. "God it's like watching X-Men Origins Wolverine. Back when his hair screamed Staying Alive and I went by the name Billy Butcherson."

A cough from behind you gave enough notice that you had in fact been caught by your boss—her glare burning through the back of your skull. The short break you were allotted passed five minutes ago. Normally you'd be fighting your way to the end of the day. Today though...you felt that delicious bite of excitement at knowing you'd be spending tonight with Logan.

"I've got to go. But Wade..."

"Yeah?"

"Take a picture for me will you?"

"Already done. Got my phone set to burst. Which is what Logan's gonna do tonight instead of tainting our shower walls–" Logan's roar of I'll fuckin' kill you came seconds before you heard a thwack overlapped with Wade's high shriek. 

The line went dead instantly.

The elevator wasn't moving fast enough for your liking—each flash of a floor passed sent another wave of nerves through your body. Work dragged on longer than you expected. And the groceries you picked up on the way didn't feel like enough to make a meal grand enough for a night like tonight. You tried to destress by saying he wasn't expecting much. This wasn't even a date.

That is until you realized...that's exactly what this was.

A date that felt long overdue.

You hadn't known Logan long enough to pursue a relationship as deep as this, but that's where things got fuzzy. He knew you. Or a version of you that felt entirely different to the person you were now. And maybe that's where the security that this would last came through. The knowledge that no matter what happened, Logan was in this for the long haul.

This wasn't temporary.

A creak of the doors opening didn't deter you from digging through your mountain of thoughts. Each one more worrisome than the last. You should be terrified that this was it. The future had already been written and Logan was at the end of the road. That alone would be reason enough to turn tail and run.

Then you turned the corner leading directly down your hallway.

Logan stood leaning against the wall, a lit cigar in his mouth, smoke trailing past his lips, and a heavy wooden door placed directly beside him. A toolbox that looked to have seen better days sat by his feet. A bouquet of honeysuckle and peonies placed directly on top—wrapped in brown paper with a yellow and blue bow.

Whatever fear might have lingered in your body dissipated when his gaze found yours and his lips pulled into a smile.

"You're early," you said—desperate to catch your breath. The scent of his cigar lingered on your senses, mixing with the leather of his jacket.

Suddenly Wade's words from earlier felt a lot more real than you expected. He showed up dressed casually. Jeans, flannel, the familiar dog tags strung around his neck. Yet whatever transpired the night before came rushing back with the promise of more.

This was a date. But whether it would lead to something else you'd leave entirely up to him.

"I told ya I had great timing honey."

Heat trailed down your body where his eyes followed. "I didn't believe you."

"I know."

The claw marks on your door brought a flustered smile to your face. As if to say you were okay with them staying. You wanted them to stay. Logan's eyes darkened at the sight, a flash of something worse taking hold of his mind as you pushed it open.

You longed for him to tell you the truth. He wouldn't either way. But the hope still remained—lingering on the edges of your heart.

"Easy enough to fix," he muttered, reaching for his tools—the bouquet of flowers gripped tightly in his large palm.

"I didn't know what exactly to get." He stood in your living room, eyes trained on the window. Finally he was on the other side—in your home—and yet he found he didn't belong here. "Do you have a preference?"

He sucked in another drag from the cigar before pulling it free—stamping it out on his palm as you watched. A heady wanton look crossed your features. You doused it quickly in favor of unpacking the groceries. He made sure to store it away for a later time. One that didn't feel dragged by the weight of his own thoughts.

"I'm not picky."

You nodded. "Feel free to use whatever's useful. I don't have tools though."

"I came prepared bub." He lifted the box with a smile and suddenly recalled that he bought you flowers. Much to Wade's annoying comments about this being a first date. Logan wouldn't push you in any direction you felt uncomfortable going towards. But in an irritating turn of events, Wade was right. Twice. "These are for you."

The smile on your face was worth every dollar and excruciating minute spent picking out what went with what. He reminded himself to thank Wade. Even if it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"They're beautiful." The delicate white lay atop pink flowers that filled your senses. An aroma you'd never known could work so well together. "Why these?"

A touch of crimson began to tint the tops of his ears as he let out a breath. "They're uh..." He coughed. "The day we met I said somethin' kinda awkward."

"I smelled different."

"Yeah." Logan wanted to bury himself six feet under at the teasing glint in your eyes. "That's how you smell. To me. Like honey and flowers."

There had to be an explanation for the way your heart split down the center—as if to offer him one half. To give him a part of yourself that once didn't belong to him. But that's where you were wrong. Even in a different universe, he would find you. You were once everything to him; the person he'd go through hell for. That fact never changed. Even if you did.

You wanted to spill every emotion, every truth about how your heart already longed for him in ways that left you reeling. But Logan wasn't a man to speak longer than he had to. And before you finally gained the courage to open your mouth, he was stepping back into the hallway. His hands busy with a project and mind eons away.

Dinner was simple to cook knowing he'd eat whatever you made. Pasta, some wine, and an old bottle of whiskey a friend of yours bought sat on the table as he put the final touches on the door. You'd spent the time at the stove combing over every word spoken. Every minute touch and fleeting look. As he worked effortlessly on setting your new door in place.

A dark honeyed wood with grooves throughout that almost resembled the small panes of a window. The quality was stunning. Beyond anything you'd seen before.

You wanted to prod and ask where he learned to do this. But the sight of him slightly sweaty, flannel tossed into his toolbox, and arms on display when he carried the door to its spot, left you dazed. Each movement caused the muscles beneath his skin to ripple—face screwed in a look of concentration while the sound of the drill echoed off the hallway walls.

For a moment you forgot dinner was cooking as you practically ogled his form. That familiar flame burned through your body when his gaze met yours and a smile crossed his lips.

Logan could feel your eyes on him—the aching burn of your gaze now seared into the bare skin of his arms and shoulders. And he fought himself to keep going. To ignore your now heady scent—the way your heart sped up with each shift of his body—and finish what he started. If he was being honest, which he rarely was with himself, he put on a show for you.

You liked him.

He just wanted to reaffirm that fact once in a while.

The smell of slightly burnt garlic had him biting back a smile as you rushed to fix what his distraction caused. His ego swelled. Heart pumping with a sense of pride the second he caught you flustered with your head bowed in the kitchen.

"Smells delicious honey," he said, testing the lock on the door a few times until he felt satisfied with his work.

"It's not much." You popped open the two types of alcohol, pouring a generous helping of wine in your glass. He fixed himself his own whiskey. "Something my sister taught me when I was in college. She believed if there was nothing else to cook, pasta was always the correct answer."

"Smart woman."

You pushed the plate his way and caught the grin he hid at the small act of domesticity. What began as a nerve-wracking date became an insight into what your future with him might look like. Dinner at a tiny kitchen table, his jacket draped over one chair, the scent of flowers twining together with the faint traces of his cigar.

A life that felt perfect enough to keep forever.

"I hope you know Wade's betting on tonight," you said, pouring another glass of wine.

You were settled next to him on the couch, dinner resting full and warm in your stomachs. The alcohol tasted sweeter on your tongue compared to an hour ago. He lounged with his legs spread, glass balanced in one hand. A lazy look of satisfaction in his hazel eyes.

Logan had never felt this comfortable. Soothed by the scent of you beside him, the whiskey on his tongue, and the sight of you with your legs curled beneath you. The red wine made you smile more, laugh easier. He noticed how you bloomed before him, light shimmering between small jokes and half assed teases.

All his life he wondered what home would truly feel like. What would having a place be? And this...you beside him with an endless night stretched before you, gave him the answer.

Home felt like you.

He groaned, head falling against the back of your couch. "He's a lucky fucker with that can't die bullshit. What's the bet?"

Your eyes dragged to the door—tracing the carved marks as his hand hesitated to settle on your thigh. "That you'd and I quote nail me."

"What?" he spit.

The laugh that bubbled to the surface echoed with the heady effects of too much wine. "I hate to break it to Wade. But I don't have sex on the first date."

Logan's lips turned up, hand finally against the bare skin of your leg. Your skirt fanned around your lap, covering your soft skin that lay beneath. "So this is a date huh?"

"Yeah." He tugged you closer. "At least I think it is."

"I think so too."

Unconsciously, you toyed with the chain of his dog tags, catching a glimpse of the worn letters of his name. Any other time you'd push the questions away. You would claim that tonight wasn't the right time. After all this felt good, right in ways nothing had before. But the wine made you loose lipped. Braver than the other times you pushed past the line he drew deep in the sand.

Except this time...he started the conversation.

"You asked about my nightmares last night."

Your eyes caught his, fingers stilling against his chest. "I know you don't want to talk about it."

He shook his head with a deep exhale he felt down to his stomach. "If this is what I think it is. What we're startin' here. Then you should know what you're getting into honey."

"I know what I'm getting into–"

"No. You don't." He sat up straighter, tugging you close until your legs lay over his lap. "You don't know what happened to me. What I did..." He sucked in air as his heart began to twist. The cold wash of anxiety suddenly brighter than a few minutes earlier. "What I couldn't do."

The pain in his eyes chipped off a piece of your heart. Oh how you longed to give it to him.

Cupping his cheek, you felt the scratch of his beard against your skin. "Logan. You're not a bad man."

"Yeah bub. I am," he barked in a half laugh meant to discourage you from seeing his grief.

That's what this was. The full spectrum of his emotions scared the shit out of him more than any villain he fought. More than the thought of dying alone one day. The moment you saw them for yourself, he knew you'd run. He almost expected it. Which is why he'd taken so long—put it off each time the curiosity lingered in your gaze longer than he liked.

He told himself you didn't need to know.

It was better this way.

Tonight proved that all those reasons—all those excuses—stood no chance when it came to you.

"I don't believe that," you whispered, your other hand curling around his dog tags.

"Gotta remember I'm not him. I'm not the hero and never have been." When you looked at him like that—eyes wide and lips turned down—he felt the full weight of the words he was about to say out loud. Words he hadn't spoken since Laura met him by the fire way back in the Void.

Somehow saying it to the other Logan's daughter felt easier. As if he couldn't disappoint her anymore than he had. She'd been there at his death, watched him struggle to protect her, and loved him in spite of all that. She called him Dad and spoke over his grave with a smile. Knowing full well he'd never come back to life, he'd never find his way back to her.

Laura wasn't his kid and yet...he knew she'd understand.

But saying it all to you…

He wasn't sure he'd survive it if you never understood.

"The X-Men in my world weren't as respected as the ones in yours. We were heroes, but the humans. God they fuckin' hated us." His eyes burned with each memory that came rushing back. A river that threatened to drown him. "And I always had to be an asshole. I didn't know what home felt like—what...family felt like. So when I got it, I pushed it away."

"Oh, Logan–"

"No, let me...let me finish honey." He gripped the glass until he heard a crack—his eyes dazed and mind lost to a different time. The night that would later become his ghost. "So I left and did the only thing I was fuckin' good at. I drank until I couldn't feel anythin' anymore. And the humans decided they'd had enough of the X-Men."

Grief struck your heart straight down the center. Tears spilled down your cheeks at the sight of him so broken—so raw from a time that would never leave him. You finally knew why Wade never explained it to you.

This wasn't his story to tell. Not his past to share.

"I came home and they were–" His fingers dug into the skin of your thigh in an attempt to ground himself. Claws slipping free as he struggled to get the final words out—the truth of why he pushed you away. Why he should keep pushing you away. "They were dead."

You pressed yourself against his side, lips against his temple as he silently bit back the emotions he refused to set free. What would become of him once they were finally out? He couldn't risk hurting you because of it.

"They called for me." His breath was ragged, voice thick with tears that never fell. "Jean. Charles. I heard them die in my head. But I was too fuckin' drunk to save them. I got home and all of them were...Jesus. The humans called us mutants vicious, but I'd never seen anythin' like this."

The worst part crawled up his spine with a chill that had his claws coming free. "And you. You survived due to your gifts. Apparently you hid in the future—snapped there without even realizing it. But by the time you returned they were dead and no matter how many times you tried to go back, you couldn't." He raised his head, eyes red and glassy. "You tried to kill me that night. I couldn't blame you for it cause I wanted to die."

"That's not me."

He shook his head. "I know, but you have to know why it happened. I couldn't protect you honey. I couldn't protect any of them."

"The humans did this. Not you." You dragged his face to yours, forcing him to see the sincerity in your eyes—the fire that burned no matter the variant. "You did not kill your family Logan. Don't take their shame."

"It's easy for you to say that bub. You weren't there." He felt your touch mark against his skin and fuck how he wished it would leave a scar. "I'm not the fuckin' hero. I'm the man who fucked it all up because he was too proud for his own good. I need you to see that."

Your gaze hardened. "Why?"

"So you know what you're gettin–"

"Bullshit," you demanded. "I know exactly what I'm getting into Logan. I knew the second I met you. So don't do that. Don't push me away." The press of his forehead to yours leveled the pain and allowed him to breathe. "I'm here to stay. Whether you want me or not."

He grinned, tears finally falling as your lips found his. You breathed life back into his chest, made his heart worth beating again. For all that time he damned himself, loathed the reflection in the mirror, he never thought he'd get this. The soft press of your kiss, the bitter tang of wine on your tongue as his hand gripped your hip—his claws retreating back into his body.

"Trust me. I want you," he mumbled against salt stained lips and broken smiles. "I'll always want you."

"Then it's a good thing I want you too."

That familiar flicker of sparks still existed in the air, begging for more. But you were content to stay here. Kissing him over and over again in order to embed the sensation in your mind.

"Thank you for telling me," you sighed, fingers curling into his hair to drag his lips back to yours.

The thud of his heart ran through his whole body. "Can I show you somethin'?"

You nodded, pulling away as he dug into his pocket. As much as he longed to keep kissing you, to spend all night right there on that couch. He knew there'd be time for that. A night where you were both unburdened by the weight of a past that defined who you were. Tonight was not that night.

The picture was old, burned slightly at the edges and crinkled, but he handed it over with a grin. A group photo like the one stored in the archives at your job. Only this time you recognized two faces among the small team of people in yellow suits. You were smiling with an arm around Logan's waist, your face pressed against his chest.

The sight of his smile—wide and unfiltered—made your heart leap. But the blue aura that seemed to wrap around your body is what gave you pause.

"The blue..."

"Your powers." He pointed to the way it ended at your hands, seeming to stem directly from your chest. "Turning them off wasn't really a thing you could do. Somethin' about time being a constant flow of energy. Charles always explained it better."

Thousands of questions came to mind. All of them pertaining to the powers and the team and more specifically him. He sunk into the couch with a sigh, his eyes hazy with a different kind of need. An ache that no doubt begged him each night. Sleep. Rest without any nightmares, free of the shackles he'd placed on himself.

So you stood, nearly startling him when you did. Nothing had to be said about your intentions, or why you held out your hand for him to take. He simply followed. Each step heavier than the last. The kitchen could be cleaned tomorrow, the bottles put away later. You couldn't find it in yourself to care when his hand was in yours and he smiled at you as if you'd hung the moon in the sky.

"Thought you said Wade was losin' tonight honey?"

You laughed, pushing the flannel from his shoulders as you led him to your bed. "He is. We're just sleeping."

There was no mistaking the doubt in his eyes, the trepidation of his nightmares. "I might hurt you."

"No you won't." Drawing his hand up to your mouth, you lay a kiss along his knuckles. "I trust you Logan."

"You shouldn't." His breath was a shuddered exhale at the sight of you pulling your dress up and over your body.

"Well too bad," you replied, tugging the covers back while he pulled off his shirt—leaving his boots by the door. "You don't scare me Wolverine."

"Wolverine huh?" Crawling into bed with you was easy. Though the mattress sunk under the weight of his bones, you still let him tug you closer—his arms wrapped around your bare waist. "It was James the other night."

"Careful," you said. "Or I'll start calling you Howlett."

A growl rumbled in his chest, his teeth nipping at the bare skin of your shoulder as you laughed. And suddenly he remembered what it was like to live. To want more than just the bottom of a bottle and a peaceful night's sleep. He could recall nights like this in the past. A different you curled up against his body—the love resonating in how you clung to him.

It all slammed into him at once.

Although tonight he didn't push it away. He kept you close, his nose burrowed in your hair, and welcomed the gentle tug of a few hours rest.

Tonight—for the first time—he slept.

Without nightmares.

[riiwrites]

boyfriend!dazai who…

a/n : for my love @perfectlyjollyland who requested this ages ago but i didn’t see until recently because i only pay attention to my inbox! im so sorry ill be checking comments too next time, hope you’re well! <3

a/n : also i hope you’re okay with the pre-boyfriend/before boyfriend part, i just thought that’d be cute i love lovesick!dazai sooo much.. more boyfriend dazai under the cut!!

chuuyas version | atsushis version

dividers used belong to @/benkeibear

masterlist | taglist | main page

pre-boyfriend!dazai who at the start asks you for a double suicide (as per usual), but when you give him the cutest smile and giggle and say no, he knows he’s too deep in now.

pre-boyfriend!dazai who becomes head over heels when he first meets you and now has a new mission, making you reciprocate those feelings.

pre-boyfriend!dazai who loves the cliches, the random ‘anonymous’ love notes on your desk when you’re at work or the random flowers delivered to your workplace/home - he loves it all.

pre-boyfriend!dazai who respects your boundaries if you were to tell him to lay off or if he was making you uncomfortable.

pre-boyfriend!dazai who finally gives up..gives up throwing hints and just decides to take his shot.

“So..say, if a handsome stranger who’s kind of not a stranger since you know him as an acquaintance asks you out because he’s given up with all of the deadpanned hints he’s been giving you for the past few months but he’s kind of scared of being rejected..what would you say?”

You stare him with a few blinks as he looks at you with a great smile on his face, although you can see subtle drops of sweat dripping down the side of his temple.

"..Is this said handsome stranger you, perchance?”

Dazai let’s out a single laugh, placing his hands on his hips.

“Ha! How bold of you, though..I am charmed your first thought of this handsome stranger would be me, bella~” He coyly smirks, closing his eyes in what you can’t tell is either pride or suspense.

You furrow your eyebrows with a little smile, fixing up your paperwork as you place them on the desk. “No, I just figured since it was you who’s been leaving such persistent and eager notes on my desk as of late.”

You watch his expression slightly change as he lets out a cough of embarrassment, locking eyes with you now.

“Well..” He starts, then gives up halfway through.

“..Is it a yes?”

pre-boyfriend!dazai who not only is taken by surprise by your response, but his heart does a few jumps in joy as his efforts became a success, making him now your boyfriend.

boyfriend!dazai who has his hand down your back pocket whenever you two are walking together.

boyfriend!dazai who’s love language is both physical touch and acts of service, always having his hands on you in the littlest way and also providing the most he can to his s/o.

boyfriend!dazai who has the reputation of being quite the flirtatious one, gives it up to his precious s/o.

boyfriend!dazai who googles cheesy and dirty pickup lines to try and rizz you with, always ending them in a winky face.

boyfriend!dazai who sends you little messages every day now that he has your number, little words of affirmations and talks to get you ready for your days.

boyfriend!dazai who if he had a tiktok account he’d make slideshows of you two and repost videos of couples relating to you two.

boyfriend!dazai who you spend all of your holidays with, especially christmas and new years.

boyfriend!dazai who practically lives at your house now, but nobody’s complaining.

boyfriend!dazai who has a box of every little thing you’ve given him, so when he’s feeling down he can look at it and smile.

boyfriend!dazai who tries to keep you away from his past, to protect you from the ugly truth.

boyfriend!dazai who opens up about oda, not all of it but most of it since he believes oda would’ve liked you.

boyfriend!dazai who takes you to the places he has the fondest memories in. the lupin bar, the art gallery, the agency.

boyfriend!dazai who appreciates the little things, as he’s not someone who can afford much he tries to give you the best he can.

boyfriend!dazai who always argues that he loves you more trying to get the last word and when you think you have it, you hear a little mumble of “I love you more” as you walk away.

boyfriend!dazai who loves your hands, tracing the lines of your palm and fingers and creating little shapes on them makes him feel at peace.

boyfriend!dazai who can be possessive but in a good way, he has good reasons to be possessive.

boyfriend!dazai who when he sees someone give you a half lidded smirk or bedroom eyes, he gives them a deadly stare that could imprint on their skull as he wraps an arm around your waist.

boyfriend!dazai who constantly babbles on about you at work with the agency, always telling Atsushi about the cutest things that you did the night before or what you did the day before that.

“Ahh..and the way they just clench their fists at their sides when they are angry with me! Ah~ I could melt..”

“That’s..really nice, Dazai-san..”

“Oh! And the way they grab my hand so tightly when we’re in public ahhh~ I could melt!”

“D-dazai-san..-“

“Ahhh, and the way the-“

boyfriend!dazai who ends up with about 14 wounds all over his body because of kunikidas beatings..kunikida says he’s lucky it wasn’t 15.

boyfriend!dazai who you take care of at his lowest.

boyfriend!dazai who sometimes can’t understand why you put up with him, but you reassure him with words and kisses all over his face.

boyfriend!dazai who peppers your face with kisses back and gives you a small smile despite how sad he can feel.

boyfriend!dazai who watches the fireworks with you and doesn’t think of going out just as beautifully because why would he let such a precious thing slip out of his hands like that?

boyfriend!dazai who doesn’t care about himself or his mental health, but cares the most about yours.

boyfriend!dazai who once felt like he was drowning, but then found his light to the surface who has a smile of diamonds and a heart of gold.

TAGLIST : @hauntedsol @hopefulpain @forgotten-blues @ruru-kiss @texas-bitch-yee @lvstyangel @thetizzler @is-therelife-onmars @atlasnessie @101strawberries101 @reesesnieces @suzurans-world @mackereland-slug @heartsfourdazai @iratherowan @onlinewhisper14 @nomnomventi

white = unable to be tagged :(

@/riiwrites - reblogs are highly appreciated ❤︎︎

[ldolbybts]

Forbidden - Part 1

Pairing ➜ Dealer!yoongi x Female Reader Warnings ➜ 18+, female masturbation, phone sex, sexting, heavy drug use, alcohol use Summary ➜ You never meant to lock eyes with the beautiful stranger at Namjoon’s house party, you also didn’t mean to completely fall for him. Word Count ➜ 9.3K

[This is a repost of a fic I wrote like 5 years ago but since i remade i wanted to reupload it, enjoy!]

As you tried to finish up your final assignment of the week, you sat on your dorm room bed, legs crossed in front of your laptop. You couldn’t wait to have it finished.

As you finished writing the last sentence your phone began to buzz, turning it round to see who it was you read the name with a small smile, tapping your finger on the screen to answer.

“Hey! You ready to party?” Jungkook’s loud voice yelled down the phone to you.

You rolled your eyes at his excited tone, the youngest out of all you was always down for a party, and to his own credit he definitely knew how to do it right.

“Yeah, whose house is it at this time?” You asked.

“Namjoon’s house, you know he has that huge ass mansion and his parents are away on some business trip so it’s gonna be a fucking good night.” You could practically hear him shaking with his excitement over the phone.

“Sweet, did anyone get any pick-me-ups?” You asked, closing your laptop and stretching your legs out.

“I didn’t ask but I’m sure someone has something.” He replied. “So be there in an hour and lets live it up.” And with that he hung up. No further information or even a goodbye, but that was Jungkook for you.

“Crazy bastard.” You mumbled under your breath before going to get showered and ready.

*

As you pulled up in your taxi to Namjoon’s house you could hear the music blaring from inside the car, you paid and thanked the driver before walking up to the doorstep. You had dressed up a little tonight, rocking a black skirt with black ankle boots and a jumper to keep it a little more casual, however you were showing a lot of leg, which wasn’t usually your style, but you had thought to change things up a little couldn’t hurt. As you pulled down on the handle you weren’t surprised the door was unlocked, stepping in to be hit with the smells of smoke, weed and alcohol you were a little taken aback not expecting the party to be in such full swing already. You could never quite believe how big Namjoon’s home was when you walked into it, it was huge with 4 floors and about 10 bathrooms, you had been here countless of times but every time it still shocked you, he wasn’t even the richest out of your small group of friends which was the even more surprising part, you knew Jin’s parents were just as well off and when you went to his house you really couldn’t believe who you were friends with having lived not the most privileged life. However the rest of them were not as rich, still rich by your standards but definitely not to this extent which had put you at ease when you just beginning to know them. Them. The 6 best friends you could have asked for, knowing them from childhood you had grown up with them and you were still as inseparable as the beginning.

You walked down the long hallway and saw a few people loitering on the grand staircase but you knew where to find your friends. As you went into the kitchen there they were sitting at the table, which could seat about 20 people, but it was just the 6 of them, sitting around with their drinks in their hands.

Taehyung was the first one to spot you and he gave you a small cheer

“Look who it is! I saved you a seat.” He said, patting his thigh.

You rolled your eyes, pulling up a chair beside Jin to see him lining himself up a line of something white.

“Is that coke? Are you going to share?” You asked nudging him slightly.

“No fucking way, this is the last of it, ask someone else.” He said.

You looked around to table to see them all looking at Jin.

“Jin what the fuck man, we always count on you to have shit, what do you mean that’s the last of it?” Jimin asked from across the table.

Jin looked up from intently splitting the powder into 2 thin lines his brows creased.

“You mean none of you have anything on you?” He said looking around at everyone as they all shook their heads.

“Hoseok I thought you got coke from that new dealer you met at that party?” Jin asked.

“Nah man turned out his product’s dodgy as fuck, I only trust the stuff you get and since you wont give us your dealers name…”

Jin let out a long sigh.

“Fine fine, I’ll call my dealer see if he can get me anything in the next hour, if not looks like we’ll be snorting alcohol tonight.” He said with a small chuckle.

“Oh fuck that, he better hook you up, this needs to be a great night.” Jungkook chimed in.

“You can have a good night without it you know.” You shot back.

“Yeah I don’t want a good night, I want a great night, call him Jin.”

Jin took a crisp 20 out of his pocket and began rolling it up.

“Jin! Please man I’m begging you.” Jungkook said again after receiving no response.

Jin put his face to the table running the makeshift tube up the line snorting it all at once with one huge sniff and he sat back one holding his other nostril taking a few more heavy sniffs and wiping at his nose.

“Okay fine.” He said breaking out a small smile.

You laughed so hard tears formed, there was something so darkly comical about the event that had just unfolded you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Since you’re the only one that finds me funny around here _____ you can have the other line.” He said passing it over to you.

You looked at him a little in disbelief, “Really? Fuck, thanks Jin.” You said before sniffing up the line in one swift movement.

You immediately felt the small rush to your head and broke into a small smile.

“Jin! Come one man this isn’t fair! You’re already having a good night and I’m not.”

Jungkook complained again and you smiled a little at his childish behaviour.

“I’m going I’m going. Let me give him a call.” Jin said pushing his chair back and standing up.

Before leaving the room Jin walked over to Jungkook, standing in front of him he  stuck his palm out.

Jungkook looked at him confused.

“You going to pay for your share?” He asked, sounding serious.

Jungkook looked at him in disbelief, “What about everyone else?!” He asked, his voice rising in pitch. Everyone stayed silent, trying not to burst into laughter.

“I’ve got everyone else covered I just want your share.” He said.

Jungkook looked well…distressed for lack of a better word, reaching into his pocket he pulled out a crumpled 10, which Jin plucked out of his hands.

“Thanks man.” Jin said, a small smirk on his face before leaving the room.

Everyone laughed loudly, tears falling.

*

When Jin had returned to the room he gave everyone the thumbs up letting them know his dealer was on his way and would get him sorted in about an hours time.

“Jin man you have to give me your dealers number he sounds like an angel sent from heaven.” Hoseok said.

“A little coke angel.” Namjoon chimed in, which gave everyone at the table a small chuckle.

“No way I already told you all. None of you are getting his name or number, you’re all losers and he won’t want to deal to me if I introduce you to him.”

You knew you should have been offended but honestly you kind of knew what Jin was saying, he had always been the chilled, cooler one out of the 7 of you, people trusted and respected him because he just radiated that sort of aura, not to mention he was a little older than the rest of you.

Funnily enough no one argued back, Hoseok just gave a little sigh of defeat and went back to his beer.

*

As the night really began you were definitely having fun, the coke had really kicked in and you began drinking beer to add to your buzz.

You soon enough found yourself in the huge living room, which was insanely crowded, the music was the loudest in here and you soon found yourself up dancing in the middle of the room, which had kind of become a makeshift dance floor for the night. As you got up and began dancing with a few girls you knew, you spotted someone sitting on the edge of the couch who you had never seen before. He wasn’t looking in your direction but the pull you felt looking at him was indescribable. You had never seen someone so beautiful. You really studied him for a moment but you soon realised you didn’t know who he was, which was unusual for you considering you knew or had a least seen most of the people in here at least once before. Just before you went to focus you attention back to the girls - feeling a little stalker-ish for staring – he looked at you, scanning the room he locked eyes with you and you immediately glanced away, mentally cursing yourself out for staring.

As you focused you attention back on dancing you couldn’t help the heat that spread across your cheeks, you still felt like his eyes were burning into you and that was all you could think about. That was when you felt a pair of hands snake around your waist, you immediately turned only to be faced with Taehyung, he always got touchy with you when the both of you were drunk, and to be frank you behaved the exact same way.

“Hey sexy you come here often?” He asked with a small wink.

“Hm, sometimes what about you?” You said sliding your hands up around his neck feeling a little flirtier that usual, maybe it was the thought of the handsome stranger watching you.

Taehyung didn’t even need to reply, sliding his hands down and resting them at your hips and you began swaying back and forth with him.

After dancing for a while your mind went back to the guy you had saw and you wondered if he was still there, you glanced over to where he has been sitting only to see the space now empty.

“I’m gonna go pee.” You half yelled into Taehyung’s ear before manoeuvring through Namjoon’s large house.

When you finally reached the closest bathroom it was locked, typical.  By the time you reached the 6th bathroom you knocked on the door only to be greeted with silence. As you turned to go to the next you one you heard the door opening and turned back around, so thankful you could finally pee.

You turned ready to thank whoever it was only to be stunned into silence to see it was the guy from earlier. You felt frozen in place, looking at him up close was a completely different experience; he really was as beautiful as you had first thought.

He was looking at you with such a cool calm demeanour you almost felt embarrassed about your thoughts.

“Sorry I just needed to use the bathroom.” You said almost choking on your own words. He gave you a small nod, and stepped to the side. You walked passed him to go into the bathroom and as you turned to close the door he was already walking back down the stairs.

Something in you wanted to call out to him and something in you did call out to him, you realised you didn’t know if he was staying or going and this could be only your chance.

“Sorry, excuse me! Do I know you from somewhere?” You asked.

He stopped mid step in the middle of the staircase.

He turned to look at you. “No, we’ve never met before me believe me, I’d remember.” The line itself was cheesy but he said in such a way you could have swooned.

“I’m _____- Wait actually can we do this after I pee? Wait there one second.” With that you closed the door, you were a little too drunk to even feel shame at this point so after peeing the fastest you could and washing your hands, you got out of the bathroom in record time. When you opened the door you heart dropped a little that he wasn’t there anymore but as you approached the stairs you saw him standing at the bottom of the staircase talking to none other than Jin.

“Hey...” You said cautiously as you approached them both.

Both of them turned to look at you and you stopped short of the bottom step, not really sure what you were interrupting.

“_____, hey, I’m just talking to Yoongi here, I’ll meet you downstairs.” Ah so the mystery man’s name was Yoongi. Jin was being curt with you and to be honest it irked you a little bit.

“Actually I’ve already met ______, we just had a nice chat.” He said a small smile on his face.

Jin’s eyes widened a little which confused you; you had chatted up plenty of guys at parties before what was different about this one?

Then it hit you.

This was Jin’s dealer.

You suddenly felt a little stupid, but were dealers supposed to be this attractive? You always pictured them as sketchy older men who always looked twitchy.

Jin was glaring at you and you knew exactly what he was getting at, he did not want you fucking around with his dealer.

You let out a small sigh before glancing over at Yoongi.

“I guess…I’ll see you around?” You said, making it sound like more of a question.

“I’m sure Yoongi has better things to do than-”

“Actually,” Yoongi interrupted, “I was going to stay a little while if that’s okay Jin, I saw a few people I recognised earlier downstairs, would be nice to catch up.” He stated.

Jin cleared his throat a little, “Yeah no problem Yoongi, stay as long as you like and thanks again for coming on such short notice.”

You realised you had really overstayed your welcome in their conversation as you turned and began walked down the stairs.

“_____!” Jin called from above you. “Your ass is showing, pull your skirt down.”

You felt your cheeks burn as you immediately grabbed your skirt and tugged it down, at least you were wearing a sexy red thong, Jin was lucky for the show, you just prayed to all the god’s Yoongi hadn’t seen.

*

About an hour had passed and you were back in the full swing of dancing, Taehyung had his hands all over you again and you didn’t even care, you were so coked up it was fucking shameful.

“You know,” Taehyung was whispering in your ear, “me and you would be so fucking good together.”

You were smiling, eyes closed, still dancing up against him.

You and Taehyung had always had this strange attraction growing up, he always told you he thought you were beautiful and the fact he was offensively gorgeous didn’t help. But you saw how he treated women – he would fuck them and never speak to them again, you told yourself that you weren’t going to be another one of his conquests.

However that didn’t stop you and him from being makeout buddies every now and again.

“Tae…” You whined as you felt his hands digging into your hips a little harder than usual, his actions were definitely getting to you, more than they usually did and you could feel your whole body begin to heat up.

He leaned in to kiss you and you imediately returned the kiss letting his tongue slide into your mouth, you began to run your hands through his offensively soft hair.

“Fuck, I want you so bad.” He said, his breathing heavy.

You wanted him too. Admittedly it had been a long time from you had gotten laid and to say you were fustrated was an understatement. But it was a bad idea and you knew that no matter how drunk you got.

“Hm, you can’t have me Tae. You know that.” You said, smiling at him solemly.

“Why is that beautiful? We’ve known each other forever, you could at least give me a little something, you know we’d be great together.” He replied looking at you with wide eyes.

“Taehyung, I like making out with you but I’m never going to go farther than that, there is no together with you, you’re a classic fuck boy, we’d have sex and you’d never look at me again.” You said, sighing heavily.

There was a short time when you had been hopelessy in love with Taehyung, he was beautiful and you had been young and stupid.

When you saw the sort of person he’d became your romantic love for him had slowly died out, knowing you never wanted that for yourself.

“You really think I’d do that to you? You’re my best friend _____.” He said, pouting his big beautiful lips.

You let out a short laugh, “That makes it worse, Tae, just drop it. I’m gonna go get another drink.” And with that you walked away from his embrace, you knew by the time you’d even reach the kitchen he will have already found a new girl to dance with. You loved him but god was he a player.

*

You found yourself sitting at the ridiculously big dining table once again, beer cradled in one hand as you looked around your surroundings, most of your friends where elsewhere but you could see Jungkook chatting up some beautiful girl out of the corner of your eye, you were feeling a little down and you realised it was because your high was slowly beginning to wear off, you needed another little pick-me-up you decided as you stood up in search of Jin.

You searched the place for him finally seeing him sitting on the couch in living room number two, deep in talk with none other than Yoongi – god damnit, there was no way you could approach that situation and not embarrass yourself, but your low was coming on strong and you knew your night was only going to get worse.

“Hey guys…” you wavered, both heards turning to look directly at you, pulled from their conversation.

“Jin can I see you for a second?” You asked casually, pulling at a strand of your hair, you didn’t know what was making you jittery, the drugs in your system or Yoongi looking at you so intensely you felt your cheeks burning, you must’ve looked like a damn tomato.

“Hey _____!” Jin smiled at you widely, he must’ve been more gone than you were.

“Me and Yoongi were talking about music, you like music too don’t you?”

You let out a small laugh, “Yeah Jin…I think most of of the population likes music.”

You heard Yoongi let out a airy laugh at your joke, although Jin just kep grinning up at you like he was making perfect sense.

“Okay then! So you talk to Yoongi while I go take a piss, perfect plan.”

Before you could even begin to protest Jin was already heading upstairs, so with nothing better to do and in your drunken state you decided to plant yourself beside Yoongi. You sat a little too close, as both your knees touched you sat forward, resting your chin on your hand.

“So I’m guessing you two were talking about…let me guess…music?”

Yoongi let out another small laugh, causing you to smile, you liked that sound a lot.

“Yeah… I was just telling Jin about how I like making music, producing ya know? I don’t think he understood a damn word I was saying tho, dudes so blitzed.”

It was your turn to laugh “I think everyone here is blitzed.”

“Yeah sometimes it’s hard being the only sober one at a party, but at least I can take videos of Jin if he decides to get shirtless and dance on the pool table again.”

You laughed loudly this time, “Fuck! Has he really done that before? Do you have pictures, I must’ve missed that one.”

“Sadly no, I didn’t take any I was too busy making sure he didn’t kill himself, I was just dropping something off to him, but no one was else was making sure he didn’t die, so I stuck around a bit.”

“Have you known him long? I can’t believe we’ve never met before.” You said, resting a hand on his knee.

You were being bold and forward and you knew that but you hoped he didn’t mind.

You couldn’t really tell however as he didn’t even react to your advances, simply responding to your question instead.

“A few years, yeah, you’ve probably never seen me, I don’t stick around, I’m usually working.”

“Ah.” You said knowingly, you didn’t know if it was awkward to bring up the fact that he dealt drugs but you also knew he had figured out by now you knew what his ‘work’ was.

Before you could say anything else Jins voice cut through the room as he made his way over to you both, you jerked your hand away from Yoongi’s knee, knowing it would do nothing but bring you trouble if he saw.

“So, did you guys talk?” He asked planting himself down beside you, a smile still on his face.

“Yeah-listen Jin I gotta go.” Yoongi said, his eyebrows low as he looked intensely at his phone.

Jin began to pout, “Stay Yoon, it’s been so long since we’ve talked like this.”

Yoongi smiled big at him and you heart nearly beat out of your chest then and there.

“Yeah, it’s been good Jin, but I gotta bounce. I’ll see you next time, okay?” When he began to stand up, you found yourself standing with him.

“I can show you out if you want.” You said, nerves completely overtaking you. You can’t remember the last time you really had to work for a guy’s attention like this, you were used to drunken gropes and getting to the sex bit quick enough, but that was all meaningless, drunken fumbles and hungover regrets.

You wanted Yoongi in a completely different way, and you couldn’t just let him walk out the door.

Yoongi nodded, and you walked in front of him making your way to the front door.

You stopped when you reached it, turning to face him, he stopped as well, looking at you, wondering why you stopped.

“I wanna see you again.” You said boldly, this wasn’t you, but you decided it was going to be your only chance.

Yoongi’s eyes widened in surprise at your confession and you shyly looked down at the ground, unable to meet his stare.

When you looked back up he was smirking, but it wasn’t smug.

“I’m really glad you said that.” He began “But wasn’t that guy you were dancing with your boyfriend?” He asked.

It was your turn to be surprised as you took a moment.

“Oh! You mean Taehyung? No, no he isn’t my boyfriend, he’s just a friend, he gets handsy when he’s drunk, to be honest so do I.”

“I noticed.” Yoongi shot back.

You let out a nervous giggle.

Yoongi was smiling fondly but his facial expression quickly turned hard and cold.

 “I’m sorry, I’m being too forward, I just- I-” You began, but you were interrupted.

“I’m sorry, _____, it’s not you, I’ve enjoyed meeting you, a lot actually, but I’m not in the habit of getting to know women like you. I don’t live the safest of lives and I don’t like to drag anyone into it, I’m sorry…”

And with that he walked out the front door leaving you feeling cold and rejected.

As you walked back in you took a seat on the couch once again beside a very drunk Jin.

“You know,” he began holding up a single finger. “Yoongi is such a great guy…I have known him for so long.” He slurred.

“That’s nice Jin.” You said, not really wanting to talk anymore about Yoongi.

“He just got dealt a shitty hand you know, I doubt he ever wanted to be put in this situation, but if my dad was the head of some terrifying gang slash organisation slash whatever the fuck it is, I would put my head down and do whatever he asked as well.”

“Wait, what?” You asked, curiousity peaking.

“Yeah, I knew him from a class we took together a few years back, we were friends then, but he left college before the first year was out, I guess his dad didn’t approve, wanted him to stay in the family business, ya know? Such a bad situation for someone so intelligent, he had his whole life ahead of him…” He continued.

“You know he’s never even tried any drugs before? I guess when you grow up around that, you see enough to be put off…my heart aches for him sometimes…”

Jin was still talking but you could only hear bits and pieces, completely lost in your own thoughts.

*

The rest of the night was awful, you’d ended up leaving early, almost sober and mostly sad. You couldn’t believe what Jin had told you.

You still were in shock at Yoongi’s words to you aswell, maybe it was just genuine concern on his end…

But the point had been you wanted to get to know him.

You tucked yourself in not even bothering to remove anything but your shoes and fell into a deep but restless sleep.

*

Two weeks had passed since that party and for the most part Yoongi was entirely out of your mind, I mean after all you had barely known the guy and you weren’t gonna let one silly drunken moment bring you down.

It was Jin’s party that was on your mind for tonight. Your rich friends usually had some crazy party once a week but you only attended when you could, and tonight it was gonna be a good one.

“So Jin do you want me to come over early with some booze? I can help set up.” You said over the phone to your friend.

“Yes actually I would really appreciate that ______, it’s not like any of the other guys offer to help.” Jin said with a resigned sigh.

You let out a small laugh – “Cmon Jin, you’ve met them all, when would they ever offer to help for anything, lazy bastards.”

It was Jin’s turn to laugh this time, “You’re right I don’t know why I expect anymore from them, I may have grown up rich _____ but my parent’s made sure I knew how to respect those around me.”

You were nodding even though Jin couldn’t see, but he defintely was the most humble out of all the guys, he had been raised right.

“Shall we say 7? The party doesn’t kick off til 9 but you can come help me set up and we can drink in peace for a bit before the madness ensues.

You chuckled, “Sure thing Jinnie! See you later!”

You could almost hear the eyeroll over the phone before Jin hung up.

*

As you let yourself in – Jin had told you to do so – you took a second to appreciate the modern beauty of the house Jin lived in, it looked so bold and beautiful…very much like himself.

You tucked the bottle of vodka under your arm as you carried a bag of snacks in the other, you knew Jin didn’t need this, he was always more than prepared but you always felt strange showing up to his house empty handed, maybe it was the fact he had done so much for you.

“Honey I’m home!” You yelled from the hallway hoping Jin would reply and give an indication of where he was in this gigantic house.

You didn’t get a reply however. You furrowed your eyebrows in frustration heading for the kitchen so you could at least put the alcohol and snacks down.

However, as you neared the entrance for the kitchen the bag that was holding the snacks ripped, spilling all over the floor you groaned in frustration setting the bottle of vodka down, you got down on your knees and reminded yourself to stop asking for paper bags and just bring a tote with you.

“Fuck,” Was all you breathed out and you began picking things up.

As you started, a pair of hands joined the mission and you sighed in relief.

“I was wondering when you were gonna show your face, were you in there the whole time? You could have answered when I called also-“ You stopped dead in your tracks as you looked up and realised it was not Jin’s eyes you were looking into.

They were Yoongi’s.

“Uh- oh my god, you don’t have to help I’m sorry I’m an idiot I thought you were Jin, you know, I was thinking those were so not his hands but I carried on anyway I’m sorry again.” You were speaking from a place of sheer panic, you had no idea how to handle being this close to Yoongi, especially sober.

 Looking at him was an entirely new experience, like you were seeing him for the first time all over again.

You were still scooping up the bags of snacks whilst Yoongi helped and as you stood up he stood up with you, his arms full now.

“I’m sorry-“

“You said that already, it’s fine, I’m not just gonna watch you struggle now am I?” He said with a slightest of smirks on his face. God he really was beautiful.

As you both entered the kitched you dumped the snacks in the corner of the counter. Of course Jin had an array of more expensive looking stuff already laid out, but it kept your mind at ease knowing you hadn’t shown up empty handed.

“Thank you for that.” You said, afraid to meet his gaze. “Why are you h-“ You cut yourself off, embarrassed you had even begun to ask that question, you knew why he was here.

“I mean- where’s Jin? Did he leave you here all alone?” You asked.

“He just had to run upstairs for a second, he should be down any minute.” Yoongi replied and you realised as he spoke he was checking you out.

He eyes skimmed over your body, quick enough that he wasn’t lingering but slow enough for you to notice.

You weren’t wearing anything fancy although you had to admit you had chosen these jeans because you loved the way they hugged your curves and your camisole had some cleavage on display.. but nothing major.

“Ah okay…well… I guess I’ll get started in the living room. Jin likes me to set up the playlists and everything, he says he doesn’t like the responsibility of being judged by the party music being bad.” You said with a small laugh.

Yoongi just nodded, looking at you with that intense stare. The atmosphere tense, you wanted any excuse to leave the kitchen.

“Maybe one day we can play some of yours!” You said, remembering the small conversation you had with him.

To your surprise Yoongi’s eyes widened.  “You remember I said that?”

You nodded, “Of course, I know I wasn’t exactly a model for sobriety, but I wasn’t that bad!”

Then there it was. A smile. A genuine one with even a small laugh.

“Well I guess you weren’t as bad as Jin.”

Like a scene from a movie Jin walked into the kitchen right on cue,

“When was I bad? Why are you two talking about me? Also last question, why was there a bottle of vodka on the floor?” Jin asked holding up the forgotten vodka bottle you had set down when the snacks had spilled.

You merely laughed as you walked on past him, grabbing the bottle from his hands and headed for the living room.

As you played about with the sound system you had regrettably took a few large swigs from the bottle of vodka, trying anything to ease the anxiety you got around Yoongi. It wasn’t a bad anxiety per say, he just made you feel things you weren’t used to, which in turn made you queasy. So you figured getting a little buzzed would help take the edge off. Admittedly drinking vodka raw wasn’t your style, but you didn’t want to interrupt whatever they had to talk about, so here you were.

As you fiddled about with the bass and everything – admittedly you hadn’t one clue what you were doing but it was killing time – you took out your phone to open up your trustly party playlist, always a winner in your book when it came to house parties when you were suddenly interrupted by Jin’s voice.

You nearly jumped out your skin at how close he was.

“Jesus christ Jin! You couldve just called me from a distance there was no need to give me a heartattack!” You said, a little on edge. You knew why you were though.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, by any chance…have you got any cash on you?” Jin asked, “I’ve forgot to take some out of the ATM.”

You nodded, “Yeah I have like 40 on me, is that enough?”

Jin chuckled, then grew serious. “Of course not, look I’m going to have to drive to the nearest ATM, will you keep Yoongi company, I think he likes you and I trust you to be the only one who won’t act strange around him.”

God if only Jin knew what he was saying.

You gulped and looked up at him “Of course, but don’t be long.”

Jin simply nodded already making it for the front door.

“I should be back in 10!” He shouted from the hallway, not sure who to, maybe the both of you.

You took another big gulp of the vodka scrunching your face up at the way it burned down your throat.

As you decided the best thing was to turn back to the sound system you heard Yoongi clear his throat, letting you know he had came into the living room.

“Hi, sorry…I’m trying to figure this stupid thing out, I act like I know what I’m doing, but in reality, I’m clueless.” You said with a sheepish smile and burning cheeks.

Yoongi looked at you crouched on the floor and returned the smile, “Well maybe I can help…this is probably all I know how to do.”

He crouched down beside you and you felt the heat radiate off him with how close he was, sides almost touching he reached his hands out to the many buttons on the system. He definitely seemed to know what he was doing, you wondered if his fingers were as skilled in other areas…

You shook the idea from your mind trying not to look as flustered as you felt.

“I think that should do it…” Yoongi said, standing up. You stood up with him looking up at him. He wasn’t by any means tall, but compared to you he still had a few good inches.

“Are you gonna play something?” He asked.

You nodded, pulling out your phone and connecting it up to the speaker.

You hit shuffle on your playlist and nodded enthusiastically when the song came out sounding great just the right amount of bass and whatever else it was called.

“Thank you this sounds amazing, Jin will be impressed, as I am going to take sole credit for this.”

Yoongi pouted and you swore your heart skipped a beat.

“What exactly do I get then?” He asked.

“Anything you want.” You stated, boldy. You knew the vodka was beginning to hit as only the drunker side of you would say something like that.

Yoongi’s entire demeanour darkened at your words, he was 100% picking up what you were putting down, he was looking at you like a damn meal and you honestly loved it.

He shifted back to his neutral expression clearly shaking himself out of whatever daze he had been.

“Maybe I’ll steal some snacks on my way out here.” He joked.

You couldn’t help but pout a little, slightly frustrated that he had changed the topic.

His words from the other night rang in your ears.

He said he didn’t like to drag anyone into his life, condering it was dangerous; what he did for a living.

You knew it was probably not the best thing in the world for you to want a drug dealer this bad, but he seriously held no qualities of one, he was just as normal as any other guy, well, except for the fact he was so hot he made your head spin.

But what if you didn’t really care about all that? Although in all honestly it did scare you a little…but what if you wanted to risk getting to know him?

You were annoyed now, annoying yourself with your thoughts, your mood had soured fast.

“Yeah do whatever you want.” You said offhandedly, turning to walk back into the kitchen.

He was following you, you could hear him behind you, but you refused to turn around, it was hard acting like you weren’t bothered though, considering you were.

When you finally made it to the kitchen you kept your back to him, setting cups out and trying your hardest to make it look like you were busy.

You heard Yoongi sigh.

“Did I say something to hurt you?” He asked, but you could tell by his tone that he was on the defense as well.

“No.” You replied curtly, you knew what you were doing, you knew you were being a child but you couldn’t help yourself. You honestly embarrassed yourself trying to basically throw yourself at him but he shut you down everytime.

You knew how to take a hint, you needed to leave whatever it was you two had alone, you didn’t want to do anything that would cause him to be uncomfortable, although he had definitely gave you some hints that this wasn’t a one-sided thing.

“God, Jin’s taking a lot longer than he said he would, right?” He said. You couldn’t see his face but you knew he was grabbing at anything to make the situation less tense.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll be back soon though.” Was all you could say.

As if on cue once again, your phone pinged in your back pocket, you pulled it out and saw it was Jin texting you.

7:47PM

Jinnie – i am stuck in traffic, tell yoongi i am sorry, will hopefully be another 15mins!

You put your phone back in your pocket and looked up at Yoongi finally, he was rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the ground, clearly distracted.

“That was Jin,” Yoongi lifted his head. “He said he’s stuck in traffic, going to be another 15 minutes, can you wait that long?”

Yoongi took a second to think before nodding “Yeah I have time.”

You turned your back again, looking at how everything was set out you took another couple of minutes to reorganise and pour some more snacks out into bowls, you honestly didn’t know why Jin went through all this trouble but you weren’t gonna judge him.

As you went to start mixing a cocktail in a bowl, you heard a voice directly behind you.

“You need any help? I feel bad just sitting there.”

You jumped a little and when you spun around you couldn’t believe how close he was to you.

You were silent, just looking at him for a second and he seemed to be doing the same thing.

“I think I’m oka-“ And just like that he cut you off mid sentence, only instead of using words, it was his lips on yours.

He pulled away after a quick kiss, trying to gauge your reaction, you searched for any hint of doubt on his face and you think he was doing the same, when you saw none you pulled him in again for a kiss once again.

You immediately wraped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you.

Yoongi obliged – pushing you a little until your back hit the kitchen counter, pinning you between it and him.

He was kissing you slowly, and it was setting your whole body on fire, he brought his hands to your hips and you took that your cue to slip your tongue inside his mouth, he lightly sucked on it.

You moaned into his mouth, loving every sensation his was giving you.

Yoongi moaned back into your mouth, pushing his body close to yours.

He finally pulled away to catch his breath and you did the same, your head was in the clouds, it had been so long since someone had kissed you like that.

Yoongi spoke first, “I’m sorry about that – I know what I said to you the other night, but you have no idea how crazy you’re driving me.”

“Hmm.” Was all you could say, too dazed to think of a proper reply.

You don’t know who started kissing who again, but this time there was no mercy. You kissed each other so desperately that you even let out a small squeal of laughter when Yoongi lifted you up so you were perched on the counter, he moved in between your legs and you boldly wrapped them around his waist, pulling his as close as you could.

“Fuck, I – jesus –”  Yoongi muttered between kisses.

You shushed him, trying to encourage him to keep doing what he was doing.

You were both panting heavy, so hot and turned on it was sinful.

You had just began kissing again, completely unaware of the passing of time, when the sound of the front door closing made you both jump.

Yoongi moved away from you and you jumped down from counter, fixing your clothes and hair as quick as you could, you prayed you didn’t look a hot mess as much as you felt it.

You looked over at Yoongi who had took a seat at the kitchen island, you could see his chest still rising and falling and you couldn’t help but giggle a little.

He simply smirked at you and you really couldn’t keep it together as you heard Jin approaching you turned your back to try and make the cocktail you were about to start, you needed a distraction.

When Jin walked in, you heard Yoongi stand up.

“Hey sorry Yoongi, traffic was crazy.” Jin began.

“It’s fine man don’t worry about it, me and _____ were just talking.” He said, as cool and as casual as if that what you both really had been doing.

You were pretty sure if you turned around your face was going to reveal everything Jin didn’t know.

You took a second to catch on what was going to happen and you made yourself scarce, running for the living room with a quick “Excuse me.”

As you sat on the sofa, you pulled out your phone to see you had a missed call for Taehyung, probably wanting to know when the best time was to show up.

You sent him a quick text instead of calling him back.

8:05PM

You: hey tae, party will probably start around 9ish? i think… i forgot to ask Jin actually x

You phoned pinged almost instantly

8:06PM

Taehyung (hottest guy alive): okay i’ll leave in an hour then, see u soon ! x

You sighed a little, you kept forgetting to change Taehyung’s contact name, he had took your phone and made the change when you were at a party with him, you had laughed about it, you never made any effort to change it either.

“Hey.” You suddenly heard from behind you, farther away this time, it had you standing up and spinning around.

Yoongi was standing in the doorway.

“Hey yourself. Please don’t tell me you’re leaving.” You said, walking closer to him.

If you had it your way, he would be fucking you on this sofa right now.

You playfully tugged at his belt buckle, trying to pull him into the living room.

“Come say bye.” You said, looking up at him, eyes full of lust.

You leaned in to kiss him and he returned it, but only for a few seconds.

You never took your hands off his belt, keeping him securely in place.

“Listen, I have to go. I can’t stay, I told Jin I’d let myself out.” He said.

You audibly whined, you were so horny you could’ve cried.

“Fuck, please don’t make that sound…I don’t think I can drive with a hard on.”

You stomach flipped and your core throbbed all at once.

So he was taking it …there.

“Well, I could always help you out in that department you know…” You trailed off.

Yoongi took a deep breath and closed his eyes, clearly trying to compose himself.

“God, you are making me crazy, you know that?” He asked, you knew he wasn’t really looking for an answer but you shook your head anyway, trying to play coy.

“What if Jin saw us like this? I’m pretty sure he would kill me and then kill you.”

You laughed at his statement.

“He wouldn’t kill me, he likes me too much.” You stated.

Yoongi scoffed a laugh.

“Okay that’s fair enough but I really do have to go, give me your number I’ll text you.” He said, taking his phone from his pocket.

You called out your number and he saved the contact.

You didn’t ask for his, if he really wanted to text you he would.

You walked him to the front door.

“I guess we can talk later? About what it is we’re actually doing?” You asked, hopeful.

Yoongi nodded. “Of course. I’ll see you soon.”

And with that, he was gone.

**

A few hours had passed and the party was in full swing. You were nicely drunk and you were enjoying swaying back and forth as the music flooded your senses.

You had opted to take no heavy drugs, wanting to not be so blitzed incase Yoongi decided to text you before the night was out.

You were dancing when you felt a very familiar pair of hands snake around your waist.

“Has anyone ever told you how fucking great your ass looks in those jeans?” Taehyung whispered in your ear.

You shook your head no. “Well, I’m here to tell you, your ass looks fucking great in these jeans.”

As he started peppering kisses on your neck you pulled away from him.

“Not tonight Tae, I’m not in the mood.” You said, you couldn’t, knowing you had only kissed Yoongi a few hours prior.

Taehyung raised his hands in defence, stepping back a little, one of his redeeming qualities – he actually listened.

“My bad, so who’s the guy?” He asked.

You made your way to the couch and he followed suit.

“What guy?” You asked.

“You never let me kiss you at parties if you have some guy on your mind, so who is he?” He asked again.

You shook your head, “There is no guy…” You knew you were a shitty liar, but what were you supposed to say?

Taehyung laughed. “Okay fine, if you don’t wanna talk about him yet I get it.”

You hit his shoulder playfully. “There is no guy jackass!”

“Okay I believe you!” Taehyung said and if his tone of voice was anything to go by he definitely did not believe you.

You scoffed, “I am going to pee.”

“Okay I am going to find a new dance partner.” And with that you both went your separate ways.

As you made you way up the stairs and found a bathroom, as soon as you closed the door your level of drunk really hit you, what was it about bathrooms that did that?

Enjoying the quiet for a second you pulled your phone out of your back pocket and saw that you had a message from an unknown number.

You let out a small noise of excitement.

11:37PM

Unknown: hey guess who?

You quickly saved his contact.

11:52PM

You: heyyyyyyyyyyyy i knwo who u are ;)

You got a little excited as you saw that he was replying immediately.

11:53PM

Yoongi: hahaahahah how drunk are you exactly?

You: Come to jins party and see,, im not that dru nk

Yoongi: What exactly would happen if I were to come?

You: i cant even pretend to play coy,,, i would suck your dick and beg you to fuck me :)

You saw the dots rapidly disappearing and reappearing. You laughed out loud, he was clearly at a loss for words.

You wanted him to know you wanted him badly, you needed him to know.

11:56PM

Yoongi: fuckdkkck, that is so hot u are so hot, u know that whole time you had your back to me i was just satring at ur ass in those jeans,.,.,, also the  night we first met.. ur skirt had rid up and you were wearing that red thong..,fuck i couldve ruined u then and there..

You paused, remembering what had happened, you thought only Jin had seen that, but knowing Yoongi had seen it riled you up so much you thought you were going to explode.

You: yoongi please come here i am so horny pleasseeeeeeeee

Yoongi: fucl

Yoongi: fukc i want too but i cant im working im sorry

You left the bathroom, walking up more stairs heading for Jin’s room, you wanted some peace and quiet… and somewhere more private to sext…

Jin’s room was super off limits at his parties, but you knew he wouldn’t mind you being there.

As you walked in, you kicked off you shoes and propped yourself up against the headboard, phone in hand you smiled as you typed your text.

12:01AM

You: god that sucks so much, i would loveee to pick up where we left off,,

Yoongi: i know :(

Boldly, you switched your phone to its camera. You shoved off your jeans and took a picture of your hand lingering at the waistband on your black laced underwear.

You hadn’t been lying when you said you were horny, you felt insatiable.

You sent the pic, biting your nail in apprehension, this was definitely a bold move for you, but you wanted to get him as frustrated as you felt.

As he took a a little while to reply you started to panick, maybe you had been to hasty.

You phone pinged and you couldn’t unlock It fast enough.

12:05AM

Yoongi: are you kidding me right now? Where are you? fuck that is the hottest thing i have ever seen

You couldn’t help but move your hand under your underwear, running a finger down your slit you couldn’t believe how wet you were.

You: im in jins room… its off limits but i couldn’t help myself, if u could feel how wet i am…..

Yoongi: FUCK

Yoongi: are u touching urself rn???

You: maybe……

Yoongi: jesus hold on.

You gasped slightly when your phone began to ring. Why was he calling you… was he mad?

You answered tentatively.

“Hello?” You said, confusion in your tone.

“Will you let me talk you through it?” Was all Yoongi asked, his voice sounding so deep and husky it only turned you on more.

“Talk me through what?” You asked innocently.

“The orgasm I want you to give yourself.”

Fuck.

“Yes.” You pratically moaned, applying a little pressure to your clit out of the excitement alone.

“Take your panties off completely, spread you legs, get comfortable.” He ordered.

You did as he asked, panting heavily.

“Okay, how wet are you?” He asked.

“I am so fucking wet, can’t stop thinking about you kissing me.” You replied.

Yoongi cursed under his breath.

“Okay, put two fingers in then, put the phone on speaker, set it beside you.” You did as he asked.

As you inserted your fingers you let out a little cry at the relief, you had been craving this all night, granted you wanted it to be Yoongi’s dick…

“Feels good.” Was all you could manage to say, closing your eyes tight.

“Okay fuck yourself slowly, rub your clit slowly as well.”

You eyes nearly rolled into the back of your skull.

You moaned in pleasure, completely in awe of how he was talking to you, he was a fucking pro.

“Want your cock,” you said breathily. “Want your cock in me so fucking bad.”

Yoongi was breathing heavy on the other line. “Fuck fuck – I know I wish I was there so bad. I’d fucking wreck you.”

You only moaned louder at his dirty talk.

“Start moving your fingers faster, put a little more pressure on your clit for me.” He said, hardly able to keep his voice steady.

“Fuck! I think I’ll cum soon.” You said as you did what he asked.

“Hm so soon? God you must be so fucking needy baby.”

You could only moan at his pet name for you.

You loved being called baby, god you wanted him.

“Keep going, I wanna hear you cum.” He spurred you on.

You were losing yourself. Your orgasm was coming on so quick you were chasing it.

“_____? Are you close?”

“Ah- fuck- yes! I’m so close.” You said, it was really all you could manage.

“Cum for me, fucking let go, god you are so fucking hot, rub your clit, I bet it’s so swollen, just begging to be sucked on.”

Jesus christ you were going to explode.

You gave yourself a few hard quick strokes before you pulled your fingers out and focused solely on rubbing your clit until you came so hard you were seeing stars.

“Fuck fuck fuck, I’m coming, I’m coming so fucking hard – fuck!”

You were silent for a minute, trying to come back down after your orgasm hitting you with such a force.

As you came too you had completely forgot Yoongi was on the other end.

“______ are you okay?”

You grabbed the phone putting it against your ear.

“Yoongi jesus christ.” You said.

Yoongi chuckled on the other end.

“You just came so hard you were pratically screaming. Let’s hope the party guests didn’t hear you.”

Oh fuck, you had completely forgot where you were.

“I just came on Jin’s bed.” You said biting your lip.

“Yeah you did and it was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever heard, I wish I had’ve been there.”

You were visibly pouting even thought he couldn’t even see you.

“Next time.” You said.

“Next time?” He repeated.

“Next time.” You confirmed.

“Fuck… listen I’ve got to go, I wish I could talk more, I don’t like doing that then just hanging up, but I’m really busy. I can call you tomorrow.”

You smiled at how genuinely sincere he sounded.

“It’s fine, we’ll talk to tomorrow. Bye Yoongi.”

“Bye _____.” He said, something else in his tone…you hoped it wasn’t regret.

And with that he hung up leaving you to clean yourself up and try and fix Jin’s bed, it wasn’t THAT bad, well maybe except for the small (not that small) wet patch.

Part 2

[astermath]

title taken ✧*

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

summary: ethan makes an offhand comment about potentially “dying a virgin”. you ask him if he’d like you to help with that. and how could he possibly refuse?

word count: 3.8K

notes: first time fully writing smut on this blog! I hope I did okay lol I probs got a bit carried away,, I remember hearing his comment in the movie and being like I VOLUNTEER I CAN HELP lmao, anyways,,, comments / reblogs are highly appreciated, and requests are open! lmk if you’d like to be added to the tag list for further ethan landry related content!

warnings: cursing, protected sex, oral (f and m receiving), ethan realizing how much he loves going down on you lol, MINORS DNI!!!! normal sized font below!

notes: guys hot take but I think ethan is a boobs guy, but what do you think? sound off in the comments ethan nation

P.S.: this is a REPOST with some slight edits, sorry for the inconvenience!!

You distinctly remember the moment when Ethan made that comment.

You were all sitting outside, discussing your theories as to who the Ghostface killer could be and who you guys should be watching out for. When Ethan realized he was part of the core friend group, and as a result, also a target, he looked panicked.

“Am I gonna die a virgin?”

It was an offhand comment that no one paid much attention to, it seemed like everyone pretty much expected that from him. But you didn’t. Sure, he was a total dork, and really bad at talking to girls, but he was a pretty boy. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t considered hooking up with him before, but… That comment truly solidified the thought for you.

The two of you were sat on the couch of Chad and Ethan’s shared dorm. Despite Mindy telling you she didn’t trust him and that you shouldn’t be hanging out alone with him, you did very much need his tutoring. You’d rather get killed by Ghostface than have to retake econ.

But you couldn’t focus on the material. Not when Ethan’s virgin comment was making all kinds of images appear in your mind. You weren’t even listening to what he was saying, your brain having a field day with the thought of you taking that title away from him.

“Hey, Ethan.” You finally spoke up, looking away from your notes.

“Yeah?” He looked at you, the end of his pen held to his lips. He always had a habit of biting his pen when he got distracted.

“Are you really a virgin?”

The bluntness of your out of the blue question completely took him out of it. His eyes widened and he just sort of froze up, like his brain short circuited. You could tell he started blushing, and god did it look adorable.

“U-Uhm…” He put down his pen and tried to look anywhere but where your eyes were. Frankly, he was a bit embarrassed about it. He’d never even had a girlfriend, let alone have sex before, and as much as Chad tried to get him involved with girls he always struggled with it. Not just because of how awkward he generally was.

But because he had a crush on you already.

No one knew, not even his roommate, but lately he’d been struggling with keeping it to himself, especially as the two of you had been hanging out more on your own. There were so many moments where he just wanted to be closer to you, move all these papers aside and just kiss you right then and there.

His eyes were fixated on his laptop as he swallowed hard, clearly nervous about the whole ordeal. “Uhm… Yeah. I am…” He brought up a hand to scratch at the back of his neck, trying to keep his hands busy so his nerves wouldn’t show as much. “Just… Never got around to it.” He chuckled nervously.

You closed your laptop, realizing you’d made the poor boy uncomfortable with your sudden interest in his sex life. Or, well, lack there of. “Hey, it’s okay! It’s nothing to be ashamed about, there’s no, like, expiration date on when you have to fuck someone…” You tried to make him feel a bit better.

Ethan nodded awkwardly, genuinely wishing this couch would just swallow him whole so he could disappear. The girl he liked knew he was a virgin loser with no game, there was no way you were ever going to want him now.

The two of you sat in silence for a bit, Ethan wondering if it was too late to jump out a window and forget this ever happened. You, however, had a different turn of events in mind.

“Do you want me to help with that?”

Those words made Ethan look up from his laptop and his eyes widen. If your previous question was a pitch, this one was a home run. He wasn’t even completely sure if you actually asked that or if he imagined it, until he met your gaze. But he wanted to be sure his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. “W-What?”

You shuffled a little closer, legs touching his, putting a hand on his thigh and leaning in slightly. “Do you want me to take your virginity?”

Ethan can feel blood rush to his cock from the question alone, his gaze darting from your lips back up to your eyes. If this was a dream, it was definitely the best one he’s had so far.

“Yes.”

Your lips meet his only a second after his reply, the book on his lap falling to the floor as you both lean in at the same time. You could tell he was nervous, but that didn’t stop him from trying. You tilted your head to the side and opened your mouth slightly to run your tongue across his bottom lip, an action that elicited a slight whimper from him.

His arms snaked around your waist and you raised yourself up onto his lap. A hand soon found its place in his curls, tugging gently to tilt his head back as your lips traveled down to his jaw, then to his neck, peppering gentle kisses and love bites on the way.

“S-Shit…” He spoke between hot breaths, one of his hands now resting on the soft flesh of your thigh, squeezing slightly whenever your teeth would bite down on his sensitive skin.

You giggle softly at how sensitive he was, lips sucking a darker mark on the spot below his ear. His hips were shifting beneath you, and even through multiple layers of clothing, you could tell he was getting harder by the second. You pulled back, hands coming up to cup his pretty face. He was already panting a bit, cheeks tinged pink from all this newfound excitement. “You look so pretty...” You press another soft kiss to his lips. “This okay?”

Ethan looks up at you with an almost desperate look in those doe eyes of his, nodding at your question. As much as you wanted to fuck him right then and there, Ethan deserved to be taken care of a little, especially since this was his first time experiencing most of this.

“Good, good...” Your thumb rubs gently across the soft skin of his cheek. “Wanna... Take this to the bedroom?”

“Please.” He breathes out against your lips.

The walk, or almost run to his bedroom, was a blur in your mind. You wasted no time, quickly getting inside and locking the door behind you both. Ethan was eager now that this was finally feeling real, hands swiftly finding your hips again and pulling you in for a passionate kiss.

“Hmm... Someone’s excited...” You mumbled in between kisses, stumbling backwards onto the bed until your back hit the mattress. Ethan held himself above you, brown curls perfectly framing his face as he admired how beautiful you looked on his bed.

He kissed you again, tongues playing with one another as his confidence was spurred on by his pure exhilaration. “Been... Wanting to do this forever...” He spoke against your lips as your hands searched for the hem of his shirt. “With you...” He pulled his shirt off in a hurry, diving back to meet your neck, pressing feverish kisses to your skin.

“Yeah?” You bit your lip, hand coming up to further push him into the crook where your shoulder and neck met. You let out a soft mewl when he bit down, wondering if he’d imagined this before. One of your hands moved over his chest, nails raking over the skin and undoubtedly leaving red lines in their wake. They travelled over his abs, down to his crotch, palming slightly, which earned a delicious groan from him.

You tilt your head to kiss the side of his head and get his attention to meet your gaze. His eyes find yours, half lidded, pupils blown out like he was high off the moment. “Me too.” You say, and you could swear it activated something in him when you did.

His hands start roaming under your shirt, and you take that as your cue to take yours off too. He stops for a moment, purely to admire the newly exposed parts of your body. Sure, he’d snuck glances at your chest when you wore tighter shirts, or when the collar would dip down just enough to give him a peek. But he only imagined touching your tits, how soft they were, how well you’d react to his hands.

His hand reached out and he gently cupped your breast, still a little careful. “So soft...” He mumbled to himself, his thumb slowly rolling over your nipple, almost teasingly so. You whined softly, arching your back a little into his touch. His other hand joined in and he squeezed them a bit, seemingly entranced by just how soft and pleasant they felt. Like they were made to be held by him.

He leaned down to your chest and looked up at you with puppy eyes. He could ask you to rob a bank with those eyes, and you’d do it. You just hoped he didn’t realize how you weak you were to that look.

“Can I?” He licked his lips.

“Y-Yeah, Ethan, anything...” You rubbed your thighs together. You knew he was just taking things slow, for both of your sakes, but god it felt like he was teasing you so badly.

He licked your nipple, a little hesitant, but he took the hand in his hair as a sign that he could continue. He wrapped his lips around the sensitive bud and suckled softly, closing his eyes as his fingers played around with your other nipple. You swore he was getting off on just sucking and touching your tits, noticing slight movements of his hips grinding into the bed.

He let go with an audible ‘pop’, earning a delicious whimper from you.

“E-Ethan...” You whined, catching your bottom lip under your teeth.

“Yeah...?” He hoped he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

“Touch me...” You spread your thighs a little more. “Please?”

“O-Oh, right... Sorry, I just... Got a little caught up in the moment.” He chuckled nervously and you did the same. You were glad there was still an air of lightness surrounding the whole ordeal. The last thing you’d want was for him to feel judged or uncomfortable.

He moved back a little between your thighs, hands exploring the soft skin of your legs with a pleased hum. He’d dreamt about moments like these so many times, ever since you became part of the friend group, he just couldn’t stop imagining what it was like. What you’d feel like, what you’d sound like... He was still processing a little that it was all actually happening.

His hand hesitatingly moved over your inner thigh, bringing a finger to gently trace over the fabric of your panties. His eyes widened a little at what he felt; you were soaked. He felt a little more confident in knowing he did that to you, but also a little shocked. “You’re... So wet...”

You brought up your hands to cover your face. You were, yes, but the way he was saying it made you all the more conscious about the effects he was having on your body. “Ethan... That’s-- You can’t...”

He grinned slightly at your reaction. He never knew you could get shy like this, you were usually such an open person. “Alright, let me just...” His fingers dipped under the waistband of your panties. He bit his lip when he discovered the hot wetness there, gently running over your slicked folds. “Is this okay?” he looked up at you.

“Mhm...” You nodded, your thighs twitching slightly when his finger grazed over your clit. “F-Fuck, yes... There, keep... Keep doing that.” You felt a little guilty for a second, remembering this was supposed to be about him. But you were doing him a favor, really, he was bound to have to find out how to touch a girl sooner or later.

His middle finger ran gentle and slow circles over your clit as his other hand kept busy running up and down your thigh. He stopped for a moment, hooking his finger around the elastic of your panties, looking at you for approval to take them off. You said something along the lines of “go ahead” between your whimpers, so he gently removed them from your body.

Again, he was taken aback by how beautiful you were, pussy glistening with juices. “God...” His thumb ran over your clit and you shivered slightly, having missed his touch, even if it was just for a few moments.

An idea sprung alive in his head, something he’d thought about many times before. “Hey, uhm... Can I...” He seemed nervous about proposing it.

“Hm? What is it Ethan?” You propped yourself up slightly onto your elbows, looking at him.

“Can I go down on you?” He paused for a moment, swallowing. “I, uh... I’ve always wanted to try that.”

You smiled at his request. Usually, the first thing guys would want is for a girl to go down on them, but you supposed Ethan wanted to explore all the options a little first. And maybe he wanted this to last longer than he would with your mouth on him. “Y-Yeah, sure...”

He smiled back, arms now on both sides of your thighs as he leaned his head down closer to your aching core. His hot breath hit your pussy, and you resisted the urge to just pull him closer. Instead, you ran your fingers over his scalp with an encouraging nudge. He stuck out his tongue, running it flat over the entirety of your wetness, humming at the taste.

You squirmed when he reached your clit, and his hands came up to settle on your thighs. He flicked his tongue and you moaned, almost obscenely, at the action. “F-Fuck!” He did it again, and your thighs started clamping down on him. “Jesus, Ethan...” He brought his lips down onto the needy bundle of nerves and suckled gently. Your head threw back as his tongue sent waves of warm tingles through your entire body.

“A-Are you sure this is your first time?” You spoke breathily through your moans and it only spurred him on further. He looked up at you with those all too familiar puppy eyes, tongue eagerly lapping at your juices. He moaned into your cunt, rutting into the bed slightly, fuck it felt good to please you.

You felt a familiar knot start to form in your stomach, hips moving against Ethan’s face as you mumbled his name over your whimpers. He sucked down on your clit again and that sent you over the edge, hand gripping his curls as you became undone beneath him. You rode it out on his face a bit before you relaxed back onto the mattress, thighs trembling in the aftermath of your orgasm. “Holy shit... Ethan...”

He slowly got up, using the back of his hand to wipe his mouth clean. “I hope I did alright.” He smiled, gently stroking your leg.

“Are you kidding me?” you spoke up after finally catching your breath. “You did so well baby.” You propped yourself up and he leaned down to kiss you, letting you taste your own juices on his tongue. Your hands went to his pants in the meantime, working on undoing his belt. “If you’d just… Help me out with those…” You smiled against his lips. “I could return the favor.”

He wasted no time in taking off his pants, kicking them off the bed until he was left in just his boxers. He kneeled on the mattress, his hard-on straining against the fabric of his underwear. You leaned forward onto your elbows, and he swore just the sight of you like that would have finished him off.

You leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his bulge through the fabric, and you noticed a twitch from his cock in return. “Been wanting to know what you taste like for months…” You mumbled, hooking your fingers over the waistband of his underwear to free his throbbing cock. The tip was already dripping with pre-cum, proof of just how worked up he got from eating you out earlier.

“Just relax, ‘kay?” You looked up at him and offered a sultry smile, to which he nodded. You reached out and with a gentle grip, pumped his length a few times. He bit his lip, suppressing a groan. God your hand felt so much better than his…

You leaned in and licked across the tip, collecting the bead of pre-cum on your tongue and savoring it. “Such a pretty cock too…” You licked up the length of him and he hissed through his teeth, hand landing gently on the back of your head. Not pushing, not pulling, just wanting to touch you.

He whined out your name when you suckled on the tip, looking down at you with desperate and needy eyes. “Fuck… T-That feels… So fucking good oh my god…” His hand moves over to your jaw, so you’re looking up at him now, and the eye contact doesn’t break, not even once.

His breathing picks up when you start to bob your head, but he stops you before you go deeper, pulling out of your mouth. “Shit, sorry, was that too far?” You look at him with a worried expression.

“No, no, not at all, it’s just… I wanna last longer.” He looked a bit embarrassed, and you felt a sense of pride of almost making him cum just from giving him head for a bit.

“That’s okay,” You got up to your knees and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I’m starting to get impatient anyways,” His breath hitched when you traced your fingers over his length again. “Need you inside me…”

You gave him a slight push so he sat down on the bed as you leaned over to grab a condom from the pocket of your discarded shorts. You rolled it over his cock, a snug fit, as expected, and your eyes went back to his face. He watched your pussy hover over his length, mentally preparing himself. If you going down on him felt that incredible, then this was about to be an out of body experience.

You put one hand on his chest to stabilize yourself, and reached one hand under to run his tip between your folds, lubing him up with your juices. “You ready?”

He nodded, hands coming up to gently rest on your hips. With that, you sank down onto his cock, slowly but steadily taking him inch by inch. Both of you moaned in unison at the joining of your bodies, neither of you imagining it would feel quite like this. You, surprised by the stretch he gave your cunt, him, surprised by your warmth and tightness.

“Fuck…” You sighed out, before you fully took his length, skin meeting skin with an audible clap. “So... Deep...” You put both of your hands on his chest, leaning forward a little. “Feels good, huh? You fit inside me so perfectly...”

“Shit...” He squeezes your hips harder, not enough to bruise, at least not yet. “So tight...” Ethan moves his hips up a little and you moan at the movement, the head of his cock grazing a very special spot inside you.

“F-Fuck, Ethan, hold on... J-Just...” You raised your hips, almost pulling him out completely.

“Let me...” You lowered again, ass meeting his hips. “Take care of you...” You started to establish a steady rhythm, Ethan watching your body move in complete fascination. You were gorgeous, tits bouncing, making the prettiest noises. Any guy would kill to have you on him like that, and he was no exception.

Your thighs started burning a little after a while, and he could tell as your movements got less intense. But you felt so good, every single change in motion sent jolts of pleasure through his body, his cock twitching whenever you would moan out his name.

He decided to keep chasing this high and take the reigns, putting a hand on your lower back and getting up, laying you down on the mattress as he pulled out.

“E-Ethan! What are you-- o-oh my god--” Your sentence got cut off by him sliding back inside you, his arms resting besides your body. You didn’t expect this more... Initiative-taking side of him, but it was welcome either way. You hooked your legs around his hips to pull him in closer, arms resting over his shoulders.

He quickly began thrusting, hips snapping forward, the room filled with the almost pornographic sounds coming from the two of you. He looked at you, curls sticking to his sweaty forehead, mouth slightly agape. You pulled him in by his shoulders to capture his lips, moaning into his mouth as he picked up the pace.

“Fuck... ‘M close... So close...” He spoke through heavy pants, head now buried into your neck.

“Me too baby, me too, holy shit don’t stop... D-Don’t stop!” You felt the hot coil in your stomach get to a breaking point, the bed rocking slightly with Ethan’s movements as you started repeating his name between your moans.

Ethan’s hips pushed into you one last time, cock twitching as he came, filling the condom nearly to its brim. He groaned your name into your neck, breath hot against your love bite covered skin.

You followed right after, legs clamping down on him, your pussy clenching onto his cock and milking every last drop out of him. Your thighs trembled as you panted, holding him close as he rode out his orgasm with a few last sloppy thrusts.

His body collapsed on top of you, the weight almost comforting, and you wrapped your arms around him, pressing a kiss to his head. He moved his head to kiss you lazily, and you chuckled at how adorable he was being. He pressed a few kisses to your lips, eyes fluttering open soon after.

“Thank you...” He smiled sleepily, still coming down from the amazing high he’d experienced just then. “That was... Amazing...”

“Could say the same to you...” You smiled back, basking in the sweet after sex euphoria while you could. You whined slightly when he finally pulled out, suddenly feeling a bit empty.

Ethan disposed of the condom while you went to his bathroom to pee really quick. He sat back down on the bed and looked at his phone, seeing multiple messages from his roommate.

[chadmeister]: jesus christ

[chadmeister]: are u guys almost done

[chadmeister]: i’ve been here for like 20 minutes now you know

[chadmeister]: pretty sure the entire floor heard u two

[chadmeister]: at least u def won’t die a virgin now MY MANNN

tag list <3

@kometqh 

[misspygmypie]

Park Panic to Crawling Crisis

Part of the "Meet & Greet... and more?" Universe Pairing: Lando Norris x Noah, Lando Norris x reader, Lando Norris x Baby Maebry Words: 1617 Request: lando and noah series request - noah getting hurt and lando just panicking or baby girl getting hurt and lando panicking Masterlist

Please do not repost, thank you, and leave some feedback :)

They had planned a simple Tuesday afternoon outing to the park, a rare chance for Lando to take a break from the demanding world of Formula 1 and spend some quality time with Y/N and five-year-old Noah. Y/N had taken Noah to the park earlier in the day, excited to let him burn off some energy before Lando joined them. Lando, always punctual in his professional life, was running a bit behind but was eager to catch up.

When he approached the park the sounds of children's laughter filled the air. Lando scanned the area and spotted Y/N and Noah near the playground. Noah was climbing the jungle gym and Lando had to smile seeing him. He waved and called out to his girlfriend and her son.

Noah looked up, his face lighting up when he spotted the young man. “Lando!” he shouted, waving enthusiastically.

The Brit felt a surge of joy as he started walking over but then he heard a loud, piercing cry that made his blood run cold. It was Noah’s voice and it was followed by a heart-wrenching sob.

Lando’s face went pale and his instinct took over. He sprinted towards the boy, his usual grace and agility as a driver replaced by sheer panic. He dodged a toddler on a tricycle and practically flew over a bench, his eyes wide and frantic.

When he reached Noah the scene was enough to make his heart skip a beat. The boy was lying on the grass, clutching his ankle and crying loudly. Y/N was kneeling beside him, her face worried but her actions calm and practiced.

“What happened?” Lando’s voice came out in almost a high-pitched squeak as he dropped to his knees beside them. “Is he okay? Should we call an ambulance? Is he-”

Y/N quickly intervened, placing a hand on Lando’s arm. “Lando, it’s okay. Noah twisted his ankle when he fell and he has a tiny scrap on his knee. It’s not too serious, just sore and his knee is barely bleeding. We can handle this.”

Lando’s eyes were darting around as if searching for a sign or a guide on what to do next. “Are you sure he doesn’t need help? Maybe we should-”

“No, Lando,” Y/N said firmly, though her lips were twitching with a hint of amusement. “It’s just a twist. We have everything we need, we just need to calm down. Can you please grab some ice from the cooler and a bandaid from my purse?”

Lando’s hands were shaking as he fumbled with his girlfriend’s purse, rummaging through the items and pulling out several things. Y/N tried not to laugh as Lando frantically pulled out her wallet but his panic led him to accidentally slap himself in the face with it. “Ow! I’m hurting myself now,” he yelped.

“Lando, focus,” Y/N said, trying to keep her voice soothing despite the situation’s absurdity. “We need to get ice on Noah’s ankle.”

Lando nodded vigorously, though he was still visibly shaking. He wrapped some of the ice from the little cooler back they had brought with some sandwiches in a towel but struggled to hold it gently against Noah’s ankle without slipping. “I’m sorry, buddy. I’m just really, really sorry.”

Noah, still sniffling but looking more curious than pained now, reached up and patted Lando’s cheek. “Lando, you’re making funny faces.”

Lando’s eyes softened as he looked at the boy while Y/N was placing a bandaid on her son’s knee. “I was just really worried, Noah. I didn’t mean to freak out so much.”

“It’s okay, Lando,” Y/N rubbed Lando’s back reassuringly, “Noah is fine and you’re doing great.”

Lando took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. He glanced at Y/N, who was expertly wrapping the ice pack in place. “Okay, okay. I’m finally calming down. No more panicking. Just focus on making sure Noah’s okay.”

The boy’s cries had turned into soft whimpers and he began to smile slightly. “Can we go get ice cream now?” he asked, his mood shifting as the pain began to ease.

Lando’s face brightened. “Absolutely, ice cream is the best medicine!”

Y/N chuckled and helped Lando carefully lift Noah onto his back. When they started walking toward the park exit Lando was slightly embarrassed. “I think I made a bit of a scene back there.”

“Just a bit,” Y/N grinned, “but it’s okay, it’s nice to see how much you care, even if it means panicking like that.”

Lando laughed, his cheeks reddening. “Well, if you ever need someone to handle a twisted ankle, I’m your man. Just don’t expect me to stay calm about it.”

They reached the ice cream stand and Noah’s face lit up as he chose his favorite flavor. Lando, now much more relaxed and even a little embarrassed by his earlier performance, watched with a smile as Y/N and Noah enjoyed their treats.

Once they sat together on a park bench Lando watched how Y/N and Noah enjoyed their treats. Happily licking her ice cream Y/N leaned over and gave Lando a playful nudge. “You can be quite dramatic.”

“I guess so,” he chuckled. “But I’d do it all over again if it means making sure Noah’s okay.”

______

Lando had finally found some downtime from his intense racing schedule and he, Y/N and their eight-month-old daughter were all enjoying a few peaceful moments in the living room together while Noah was playing with the Legos in his room. Y/N had been organizing some things while Lando sat on the floor, playing with Maebry, who had just started crawling.

Lando was trying to coax Maebry to crawl towards him with a bright, crinkly toy that jingled when shaken and the girl was slowly inching her way across the soft carpet, giggling as she reached for the toy.

“Come on, Maebry! Almost there,” Lando cheered, hoping to encourage his daughter.

Y/N watched from the sofa, a warm smile on her face as she admired Lando’s playful side. “She’s getting really good at crawling,” she said, gently folding a blanket.

Just as she was about to reach the toy she wobbled slightly and lost her balance. Her tiny hands flailed as she tumbled forward, landing face-first on the carpet. The fall wasn’t far but it was enough to make Maebry let out a startled cry. The sound cut through the room and Lando’s heart immediately stopped.

“Mae,” Lando’s voice was high-pitched as he scrambled over to her, nearly toppling over himself in his rush. He reached Maebry and gently lifted her into his arms, his face pale with concern. “Oh no, are you okay, sweetheart?”

Y/N was already by their side, her face also concerned but trying to stay calm. “Lando, it’s okay. It’s just a little fall. She’s probably just startled.”

Lando’s hands were shaking as he checked Maebry over, his eyes darting around as if searching for an instruction manual. “But what if she’s hurt? Maybe she’s got a concussion or-”

“Lando,” Y/N said, placing a calming hand on his arm. “She’s fine. It was just a small tumble. Let’s not overreact.”

He was still holding his daughter as if she were made of glass. He looked at Y/N with wide, panicked eyes. “But what if she’s in pain? What if she’s-”

Y/N took a deep breath, trying not to laugh at Lando’s over-the-top reaction. “She’s not in any serious danger. Just comfort her and calm her down, she’ll probably start smiling again in a minute.”

Maebry was indeed starting to calm down, her initial cries fading into soft whimpers. She reached out for her dad’s face, her little fingers brushing his cheeks. 

Lando’s eyes softened as he looked at her. “I’m so sorry, Mae,” he said, his voice still slightly trembling. “I just got really scared. Daddy’s here, okay?”

“Here, let her hold this,” Y/N grabbed a soft toy and handed it to Lando, who gently placed it in Maebry’s tiny hands, “it might help her feel better.”

Lando held his daughter close, his heart still racing but his panic subsiding when he saw her starting to smile. “You’re so brave,” he said, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I promise I’ll try not to freak out next time.”

Y/N settled back onto the sofa, shaking her head with a loving smile. “You know, for someone who’s so calm on the racetrack you turn into a bit of a drama king when it comes to our kids.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lando raised an eyebrow, a curious smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Y/N chuckled, shaking her head as she looked over at him. “Remember when Noah hurt his ankle at the park when he was five? You practically turned into a wreck. I thought you were going to call an ambulance.”

Lando groaned, rolling his eyes but unable to hide his grin. “Alright, alright, point taken. I guess I do get a little more dramatic when it comes to the kids. I guess I’m just better at handling high-speed chases than small injuries.”

As Maebry began to crawl again, this time more cautiously, Lando watched her closely, ready to catch her if she fell again but trying to hide his lingering anxiety behind a reassuring smile.

Y/N leaned over and rested her head on Lando’s shoulder. “She’s doing great. And so are you, even if you are a bit of a panicker.”

“I guess I’ll need to work on my ‘calm under pressure’ skills when it comes to parenting.”

________

AN: I couldn't decide so I wrote something with both kids lmao Anon, I hope you like it and if not let me know and I can rewrite 😊🫶

Taglist: @eloriis @pacifierbby @landossainz @littlegrapejuice @barcelonaloverf1life @poppyflower-22 @itsjustfranzi @vickykazuya @sltwins

[callalillywrites]

A Stuck Zipper

This story is actually a longer, spin-off version of an older post response. It was meant to be a Christmas/Wintery story, but I missed that mark a little bit. It's okay though because I had a lot of fun writing this. I'm sure I can come up with something for Steve (and a couple others before the end of the year). I do hope you enjoy this story as much as I did writing it.

Steve Rogers Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Relationship: Steve Rogers x Wife!Reader

Word Count: ~2100

Summary: It's the night of the biggest party of the year. You've been working alongside Pepper and Nat to ensure this party goes well. What you don't count on is a stuck zipper. At least, you're married to a man with a plan who's never failed to let you down.

Warnings: mostly fluff

A/N: This is my first fic since melting down last month, so please be kind to me as I try to get back into the swing of things again. I do hope this is the first of many more stories to come along with some older ones to join its ranks once more as well.

I do not give permission to have my works copied, translated, reposted, or fed into an AI machine.

****

“It’s stuck.”

You tried to turn around at Nat’s words, but she stopped you before you could wrench the tiny zipper from her hands.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t heard the smallest shreds as the zipper caught the delicate fabric and refused to let go. It’s just that this couldn’t be the thing that went wrong tonight. Of all your planning with Nat and Pepper to make this event the talk of the year, you couldn’t afford to be brought low because of a measly zipper on one of the most expensive gowns you’ve ever owned.

“How bad is it?” you asked though you couldn’t be sure you wanted to know.

Nat didn’t immediately answer, which was answer enough.

“Can we pin it or something?”

A glance at Nat’s pinched features in the mirror sent a shiver of dread down your spine.

The party would start any minute. Not only would your dress keep you from your duties, you would miss out on seeing the one person you’ve been wanting to see the past few weeks. Oh, you’d missed him something fierce while he’d been away, and now you couldn’t be certain you’d have the reunion you wanted with him.

This was supposed to be one of your biggest nights, too.

How were you going to explain your absence? How could you leave Nat and Pepper to fend for themselves? Then again, how were you supposed to help if your dress’s darn zipper was stuck halfway up your back.

In your current self-pitying state, you almost missed the way Nat’s face smoothed. Her hand had gone to the small ear comm she wore, holding it as she listened to Pepper on the other end.

You had one, too, but you’d taken it out after it started bugging you. The intention had been to replace it after you’d gotten dressed and had no more time for yourself before the party started. That had fallen by the wayside when your dress had pulled its dirty trick and kept you standing in front of your mirror debating your options.

Whatever Pepper told Nat soon tugged her signature smirk over her features, replacing her previous frown.

“Pepper is sending us reinforcements,” she said after a moment, her hand dropping from the comm.

The smirk remained as the two of you waited for whoever Pepper had sent to save the day.

Within minutes, said savior arrived.

You couldn’t help the gasp that slipped past your lips as you took in the only man that’s held your attention and your heart for so many years.

His new suit fit him to perfection, but then, you had no doubt it would after sending his measurements to the best tailor New York City had to offer. The dark navy made his blue eyes pop while the silver vest beneath his jacket brought out the sparkle you so adored whenever he glanced at you.

“Hello, sweetheart,” his deep voice echoed softly through the room. “I heard you could use my expertise.”

Nat, not at all offended at being ignored, deepened her smirk as she moved toward the open doorway. It didn’t seem to matter how much your man filled it, blocking her. Having fought at his side longer than you have, it didn’t take much for her to slip past him. Then again, that could be her spy training more than her comfort at being one of his Avenger coworkers.

As if her disappearance gave him further permission, he stepped into the room, quickly closing the distance. He didn’t stop until only a mere foot separated you. His slacks brushed the outer layers of your dress’s full skirt.

“You look ravishing, sweetheart,” he murmured, his gaze missing nothing of the silver dress you wore with the navy lace creating intricate snowflake patterns.

Putting up a hand to keep him at bay, you raised a brow. “And you, Mr. Rogers, have been hanging out with Sam and Bucky too much if you’re using ‘ravishing’ as a word to compliment me. You’re going to behave until after this party is over. Do we understand each other?”

“You are married to Captain America, sweetheart. I’m the very beacon of honor and virtue.” He held up his hand as though he were a Boy Scout though his gaze continued to twinkle. His lips twitched with the amusement he wasn’t trying too hard to conceal.

You simply shook your head. “No, I married Steven Grant Rogers. You’re the epitome of a punk from Brooklyn just as your best friend has always claimed. Never back down from a fight even when you should and have a mouth that could make a sailor blush on a good day.”

“Is that so?”

It was his turn to raise his brows though his amusement remained.

Knowing what he wanted to hear next, you sent him a softer smile, indulging him. After all, you two have done this little dance since not long after the two of you fell in love. Reaching out, you rested your hand over the small pocket of his suit jacket. His heart beat steadily beneath your palm, relaxing you as it always did.

Even as you nodded in affirmation, you added, “Yet, you’re also the man with a heart of pure gold and always help your friends and family whenever they need you. I didn’t marry the perfect soldier the U.S. Army wanted, but the good man you are and will always be. My life has been better for knowing you, and I fall more in love with you every day.”

His amusement melted into such warmth and affection that you knew he’d behave for at least a little while.

“What do you need, Mrs. Rogers?”

Pressing the softest kiss you could to his lips and not mess up your pristine makeup, you flashed him a grin before turning around to show him your dilemma.

“It’s stuck. I can’t see the problem, and Nat’s face told me pinning wouldn’t work.”

Steve’s warm fingers brushed against your skin as he inspected the ornery zipper. He tugged gently, but the stubborn slider refused to budge. Another tiny rip of the delicate fabric reached your ears a moment before Steve raised apologetic eyes to yours in the mirror in front of you.

“Nat’s probably right, sweetheart, but…”

His brows knitted together as he continued to stare at your current predicament.

After several seconds, his brows smoothed and his gaze met yours once more. Inspiration had hit him in a way that never fails to take your breath away. Always the man with a plan, he didn’t hesitate in coming up with some unique solutions to even the most basic of problems.

“You still have your emergency sewing kit in your purse?”

You nodded.

He stepped away and picked up your purse. His gaze met yours for permission before he opened up the main flap. Always the gentleman. His hand felt around the few contents until it encountered the little tin he sought. The same little tin you inherited from your grandmother after she passed a few years ago. You never failed to update the kit with threads for whatever outfit you and Steve wore that day from your rather vast collection of sewing threads.

As he held up the little tin with a small triumphant grin, you thanked whatever gods were listening that you’d remembered to update it that morning with what you’d need for your evening attire as well.

“Stay perfectly still for me, sweetheart,” he murmured after threading the needle with the necessary thread and stepped behind you again.

You did as he asked. It took everything in you not to peek over your shoulder to see exactly what he was doing. Instead, you had to settle with feeling his fingers brush against you now and then, sending delicious shivers down your spine even as he worked diligently at your dress.

After what felt like an eternity but couldn’t have been more than five minutes, he tied off the thread and snapped the extra with little effort. Turning you so your back faced the mirror, he nodded towards his work. “What do you think?”

It took a bit to get the right angle and see what he’d done.

When you did, you couldn’t help the gasp that slipped past your lips. The stuck zipper remained in place, but the rest of your dress had been perfectly and almost seamlessly stitched closed. Only some nosy person would notice the zipper wasn’t all the way up with the way Steve had stitched your dress closed. You could barely make out the stitches he placed.

Meeting his gaze in the mirror, you blurted, “Where did you learn to sew? How did I not know this about you after all these years?”

Steve’s cheeks flushed at the awe in your voice.

“We didn’t have a lot of clothing options back then as there are today. My ma worked hard to provide me with what she could. I used to watch her doctor clothes for my smaller frame whenever she could afford to get me something new.”

His gaze took on a wistful expression as he remembered his old life and his mother.

You turned so you could rest your hands on his chest, offering him what comfort you could. He didn’t talk about his past as often as you thought he should, but you never pushed him, either. Not wanting to miss out on this new opportunity, you remained quiet.

A small grin spread across his features as he indeed continued.

“Well, I wasn’t one to take precautions with my clothes, either. Most of us boys didn’t. I probably should’ve for my ma’s sake, but I always got myself into one scuffle or another as you’re aware. Most often, I’d end up with a rip in either my shirt or pants. Sometimes, both. Not wanting to upset my ma, I used the little bit of knowledge I’d gained by watching her to start mending my clothes myself. It was better than asking her to do more for me when she was already doing so much.”

His grin softened as more memories seemed to surface.

“My first attempts were awful, but then, boys didn’t typically do what they considered girl chores back then. I got better over time. I even helped Bucky out a time or two when he needed it. Some way, I guess, to repay him for always looking out for me, too. It was better than the tongue lashing he would’ve gotten from his own ma for getting me out yet another bind.”

Unable to resist the desire, you rose up and pressed another soft kiss to his lips.

“What was that for?” he asked though his eyes glowed with warmth and a mirrored desire.

You brought one of your hands up to cup his cheek as you whispered, “Just because you’re you.”

As you moved to lower yourself, Steve followed you until he leaned into your space and took a swift but no less chaste kiss for himself.

“I love you, too, Mrs. Rogers.”

The two of you gathered up the rest of your items for the evening, including the masks you had made to match your outfits.

After all, the party was a masquerade. Tony had declared it so when he announced wanting to throw a holiday party for the Avengers and other important guests. At least, he left you, Pepper, and Nat to work out all the other details to make this night a spectacular one. It would certainly be one to remember after all your hard work and theirs.

As the two of you walked towards the elevators, a thought struck you.

Turning your head to look at your husband, you asked low enough so any others wouldn’t overhear, “How exactly am I getting out of this dress later?”

The smirk you’ve come to know and love appeared on Steve’s face. He helped you onto the elevator as the doors opened. His arm came around you as he held you close to his side. Only as the doors were closing did he bend down to whisper, “Don’t worry about that, sweetheart. I’ve got a plan that will not only get you out of that dress but will satisfy us both before the sun comes up tomorrow.”

His lips skimmed along your neck until he reached the spot where it met your shoulder. A slight stinging nip of his teeth sent a tingling shiver down your spine. The promise clear in his action as his hand tightened at your waist.

The party, while an amazing success of your hard work, paled in comparison to the hours after where Steve lived up to his sensual promise in the elevator. It would be a night you wouldn’t soon forget.

[thepitlanepress]

CANDY CANE KISSES –

↳ oscar piastri + reader

⌗ :: masterlist

⌗ :: a/n: hehehe i was in a christmasy mood + my mother randomly started watching an oscar interview today so here were aree i lowkey hate it but wtv (also i worked out the layout of my fics)

its a well know fact that you love candy canes.

its also know that it breaks your heart that the only acceptable time of year to eat them is christmas - although to be fair, christmas is also your favourite time of year as well.

and your oscar knows better than anyone to not eat the stash of candy canes you keep on the kitchen counter. the last time he tried to eat one he was shunned to the couch for the night... well until you got cold and came out asking him to come back to bed and cuddle with you.

so when oscar comes home from a day out with lando - which by the way, you knew nothing of until this morning, when you had woken up and to fing that he had stolen. your. candy cane. stash. and only left a note in explanation.

which again by they way

"needed these for a surprise lando and i are working on."

is not a sufficient excuse.

you're obviously still pissed at him when he walks through the door smiling like a goofball, thinking he's on top of the world, completely unaware that you're about to jump him with a candy cane you found and sharpened into a shiv.

"hey baby, i'm home what are we- WHAT THE-"

ok was crash tackling him the best option? no... but was it the best one running through your head right now? yes.

"you stole my candy canes!" you glare down at him as you straddle his hips - if this were any other moment the mood would be very different.

"i borrowed them,"

"you stole."

"you never share, how am i supposed to enjoy candy canes if you never let me, you're a really big hogger, you know," he looks at you knowingly.

"i let you have some!" he sends you a look. "...in controlled proportions." you roll off him and help him up still pouting. "what did you need them for anyway?"

"lando's trying to surprise his girlfriend for their anniversary and he knew you had the best candy canes," oscar answers picking himself up off the floor and walking into the kitchen, you follow him, torn between being happy for lando, and still being pissed because those were your candy canes.

"besides, if i hadn't taken them i wouldn't have been able to do this," oscar swings around and brandishes a singular candy cane in his palm. you go to reach for it but he swiftly takes it back. "i want an official pardon for taking your stash this morning, first. and then you can have the rest of them."

you're quiet.

"i want to be certain i'm allowed to sleep in the bed tonight and not sentenced to the couch."

you're still quiet.

oscar scoffs in disbelief as he turns around and starts muttering to himself about how he spent all this extra time finding the special canes just for you. and he's right, he did, you know the only store that sells those specific ones are at least a thirty minute drive away.

it melts your heart knowing he drove an hour to get you these - even though he did steal this morning - so he's most certainly forgiven.

"how about this?" you hum, and pull his hand, tilting your head up and softly pressing your lips to his.

he smiles into the kiss, possibly one of your favourite things ever, and pulls you closer by the waist deepening your sweet little kiss. only after you almost lose you footing leaning into the kiss does he pull back and gently slides the candy cane into you pocket.

"do i get a kiss for every candy cane i give you?"

"mhmm," you hum smiling and pulling him back in discreetly slipping your hand in his hoodie pocket to steal a bunch of them, jumping back and laughing as you run off.

maybe him stealing your stash this morning wasn't the worst thing ever if it meant your night ended like this.

2024 © thepitlanepress | please do not steal, use, translate or repost any of my works

[pshcomforts]

➳ say you won’t let go | pjs.

idol!jay x fem!reader

“i’m so in love with you, and i hope you know”

synopsis: you dream that jay cheated on you, and he comforts you.

warnings/content: written in third pov. small angst in the beginning but fluffy ending! jay’s husband material! not proofread. cursing.

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 1.8k

a/n: birthday post for jay <33 and a special one for my jay stans out there :)

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: say you won’t let go by james arthur

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

2:02 ─────────────|────── -1:29

“don’t do this jay, it’s not what you want..,” y/n’s trembling voice spoke as she felt her heart shattering with every moment of truth.

was this the real reason he always came home late?

she heard her boyfriend give a scoff.

“not what i want? how would you know that when you didn’t even know i was cheating on you?” jay darkly chuckled, laughing in disbelief of her pitiful plead.

“you’re pathetic y/n… really,” he spat out with a sinful grin.

his sharp words pierced into her like a knife in the back. tears quickly ran down her cheeks like no other, feeling her body get heavier as she felt like she was running out of breath.

with a call to the heart, something shouted inside her to open her eyes, to leave this dreadful scene she was stuck in.

and she did so, but she woke up in a different atmosphere.

. *₊ ° . ☆

y/n’s eyes shot open, quickly sitting up in the dark room as heavy breaths were taken.

it was a dream, a nightmare in fact.

tears still continued to stream down her cheeks though as she tried calming herself down with a 5’11 boy shuffling around.

“it was a dream..,” she shakily mumbled to herself, calming her heart rate with its loud pounding in her ears.

the sleepy male took notice of her sitting up, small sniffles heard as she tried silencing herself.

“y/n? you okay?” jay’s groggy grumble of a voice spoke, eyes trying to make out the figure in distress.

it hadn’t been too long since he arrived home late from rehearsals, so his body was still draining him back to sleep.

she didn’t respond though. her throat was dry, voice almost too hoarse to speak with her body still shaking from the horrifying nightmare.

“hey darling, what’s wrong?” he softly murmured after taking in that she wasn’t answering back.

jay finally sat up as well with blinking eyes to get a better look at her.

“y/n?” he called out again, careful in his every movement as his hands reached towards her face, attempting to try and relieve her at once.

the girl sniffled, finally coming to meet her boyfriend’s face with soft tears and puffy lids that showed her concern.

his heart instantly sank at the sight, wondering what had happened while he was asleep.

it struck him awake, eyes no longer blinking from the exhaustion of waking up as he went closer to her.

“hey hey hey, what’s wrong love? did you have a bad dream?” jay sweetly questioned, wiping away her tears while patiently waiting for her to catch her breath from the tiring cries.

after seconds of waiting, he finally got his answer with a nod — “yeah… i had a dream that you..,” her voice stopped for a second, pain caught in her throat as she strived to finish her sentence — “.. cheated on me.”

the male’s jaw dropped once her words processed.

cheat? on someone like her?

his breath was kicked out of his lungs with the frowning thought that he would do such a thing to the girl he loved.

“y/n..,” he softly whispered before pulling her into a warming hug.

✩ ‘i pulled you closer to my chest’ ✩

it healed her in every way possible, giving reassurance that he would never dare to do anything remotely close — but even then, he knew he could do more with his words.

as they hugged, he prompted, “i would never cheat on you. i would have to be the dumbest fucking guy alive to betray a special girl who’s worth keeping like you.”

he stopped, shakily sighing as he hated his dream self for cheating. “i wouldn’t even forgive myself if i pulled that crap, please know that i promise to never make you go through that in real life.”

jays grasp around her body was tighter as the thought of cheating was truthfully striking him as well.

his girls eyes closed to reel in the loving presence of it all while smiling.

of course she knew he wouldn’t do such a thing, but the utter shock of the dream being so real had her in a trance.

“i know you wouldn’t jay, everything just felt so real.” she confirmed, rubbing his back with her hands as she was comforting him now.

the two finally pulled away after her words, tears still lightly falling down her face as the boy wiped them away again. they stared at each other, both equally melting at the sight of their idiots in love.

with jay’s hands still holding her cheeks, he pulled her closer by the tug of them. leaning in closer as well while kissing where her tears dropped, giving a comforting reassurance within each one as he let out soft whispers of nicknames he’d always call her — ‘gorgeous,’ ‘love,’ ‘darling,’ ‘my girl.’

✩ ‘just say you won’t let go’ ✩

y/n’s eyes were kept close as her face scrunched from the micro-aggressive kisses she received on the other end.

with the last kiss being on her forehead, the two tucked back into bed.

the smitten male rested his chin on top of her head as his arms were wrapped around her body, bringing her in closer for a fond matter of consolation.

y/n relaxed all at once, body feeling fatigue in the radiating comfort brought by her boyfriend.

the two stayed in the same position throughout the night, then dawn soon peaked into the curtains, awakening jay first.

he grinned ear from ear at the sight of his pretty girl still sound asleep. his hands reached out to her face and lightly moved her hair strands around, careful to not scare her as he admired her gorgeous facial features.

with small shuffle movements made, y/n’s eyes peeked open at the glimpse of jay in a messy hairstyle caressing her own hair.

“morning darling,” his deep, beautiful voice bellowed while a smile crept onto her face. “how are you feeling?”

“just great, baby.”

the two dumbly smiled at each other as they stayed gazing into one another before finally sitting up.

“last night was something, wasn’t it?” jay joked, slightly laughing at his own joke, leaving her to only roll her eyes playfully.

“jongseong!” y/n exclaimed his government name, letting the arm closest to him fly up and send a smack to the tall man.

he chuckled with the laugh, the opposite arm quickly reaching over to his other side as he uttered — “ah! my arm! you hurt it!! after what i did last night.”

she laughed at his stupid action before she automatically tried to send another hit to him, only to be stopped by her very own boyfriend.

his hands ran to hers first, getting a hold of her left wrist before getting her right when she attempted the other side.

“jay!” she whined.

his arms fully took control of hers now as she tried to wiggle her way out but couldn’t do much.

the handsome boy’s laughs were echoed throughout the apartment, smile widening with his body toppling over hers. he pinned her wrists down on each side of her head.

jay’s fluffy, black hair was now hanging down as his girl huffed out a defeated sigh once she had realized she had no way out.

his lips curled in satisfaction at his victory.

“you still gonna hit me?” he mocked, a smirk coming on as the smile left.

y/n still tried to wiggle and move around but ultimately gave up.

“jay.. this is no fun!” her whiny voice rang in his ears as he felt his heart flutter upon the thought of her.

“give me a kiss and i’ll let you go.”

she scoffed at the oldest line in the playbook.

“jay.., really? a kiss?”

but he didn’t budge with her words, just a simple nod given as he started to lean in closer.

the distance between their faces started to close once he reached further for the kissable lips.

but the girl turned away in a playful manner, leaving jay to pout as he sternly looked at her.

“morning breath…,” she murmured, using it as an excuse.

jay scoffed out a smile, flashing a smirk with her lame attempt.

“i don’t care, i want those pretty lips on mine right now.”

before she could prolong any further, he quickly crashed his lips against hers, not giving her time to think or react.

he roughly moved, pushing for a reciprocating touch but only ever so slightly to keep it sweet. his hands then let go of her wrists, one hand closer to the head and the other on her jaw to kiss her better.

y/n smiled into it, allowing her boyfriend to feel her lips curl as she loved how he kissed. her hands automatically ran to his hair, fingers roaming through each strand in return.

the two shared a sweet moment before he finally pulled away with half-moon crescent shaped eyes.

he was definitely love-struck.

✩ ‘you make me feel this way somehow’ ✩

jay quickly ran his hands to her waist, giving small tickles to her body as she was taken back by it.

“jay, no!!” she yelled, laughing and crying from the ticklish movements her boyfriend did while he enjoyed her giggles.

he laughed along as her hands continued to try and swat away the man’s hands.

“please, jay!” she yelled again, laughing uncontrollably from the continuous feather touches.

when he felt like he teased enough, he stopped with an undeniable grin plastered across his face.

the only thing heard were their giggles they shared as he couldn’t help but feel endorphins run through his body.

after her laughs ran out, she mumbled the word — ‘jackass’ — to him as a joke, causing jay to chortle out more laughter.

y/n rolled her eyes, secretly enjoying his loud laughs. he just couldn’t contain his excitement in hearing her joy.

only she could get him in this melting state.

“whatever,” she jokingly mumbled, smacking his arm again as she stared intently at the handsome man who was still uglily laughing.

after seconds, jay finally stopped with his chuckles dying out in the room.

y/n and him stayed locked in eyes, both coming to a daze of how lucky they were to have each other before he decided he would cook breakfast.

“do you need any help?” she offered.

jay furiously shook his head as he responded, “no it’s fine darling, just stay in bed and i’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

he placed a long and sweet kiss on her cheek before leaving to the kitchen to whip up something delicious.

“my forever half..,” y/n whispered as she comforted herself back into bed. her heart was full and her mind was filled with her boyfriend, and his acts of service.

she didn’t know how she was able to find someone as amazing as jay.

though the boy was an idol and had a busy schedule, he still made sure he had time for her.

he always did.

✩ ‘i’m gonna love you till my lungs give out’ ✩

they were still young, but that didn’t mean jay wasn’t already thinking of a future with his favorite girl.

✩ ‘but i wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old’ ✩

they wouldn’t ever let each other go.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

[bloatedandalone04]

To The One I Love - Part 8

Series Masterlist

➪in which you get your stitches taken out the same day a storm is said to hit, and you and tyler separate for the first time in two and a half weeks.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 5.1k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

Tyler smiled at you as he went back out to make a second trip to the truck to grab the rest of the groceries as you watched him from the front steps. “I can help, you know,” you said once he passed by you again, his arms holding more than two bags on each one. 

“I know,” he said back and paused next to you, towering over you a bit with his height. “But you’ve done a lot today already. You just keep doing what you’re doing; standin’ there and lookin’ pretty.”

You smirked and leaned against the post of the front deck, placing your hand on your hip. “Like this?” You asked, sliding your free hand up and gripping the white wood. 

Tyler smirked right back at you as he nodded, “Yeah,” he answered, setting the bags down, “Exactly like that.” 

He walked up to you and watched as your stance faltered a bit as he stood right in front of you, his chest practically pressed against yours as he stared down at you with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes.

“God, you’re so gorgeous,” he mumbled and you blushed as you let your arms fall to your sides again. Your eyes flicker between his own and his lips, and then you were giving him a shy smile and he wished it was time to go to bed already, because he was craving the feeling of being in his own bed he shared with you and having you in his arms. He wanted to kiss you and hold you so badly. He missed feeling your lips. He missed you. All of you. “You’re so beautiful.” 

Your face reddens even more as you place your hands flat on his chest. “Stop it, you’re making me feel all warm,”

Tyler grinned before he shook his head. “I’m not gonna stop, never,” he mumbled, “You’re the most stunnin’ girl I’ve ever seen, baby. I can’t help but tell you that all the time.” 

You poorly fought off a grin as you leaned forward and rested your head on his chest, your arms wrapping around his middle in a gentle hug that he instantly returned. 

Your body was warm against his, and he buried his face in your hair as he breathed you in. Even after everything, he was still addicted to you. Every single part of you. “I miss you,” he mumbled next to your ear, and you just held him a bit tighter. He didn’t mean for the words to make you feel bad, but when he felt you tense up a bit and press your face against his chest, he knew you were feeling guilty again. “Hey, baby…look at me.”

The last thing Tyler wanted was for you to feel like any of this was your fault in any way. It wasn’t at all, and he knew that. He just wished you knew it, too. 

You pulled away and reluctantly looked up at him, keeping your chest pressed to his as your eyes held a mix of frustration and guilt, and he hated all of it.

“Stop feelin’ guilty about forgettin’, baby. None of this is your fault, you know it and I know it. You think I blame you for somethin’ you had absolutely no control over? I don’t and I never have and never will, so stop thinkin’ like that,”he murmured, bringing his hands up to stroke your jaw. 

“But…” you trailed off as you looked up at him with teary eyes. “I’m just…I’m so sorry. I’m so…so sorry, Ty.”

He knew you had been beating yourself up over this for a week now, and it was honestly killing him. He wanted to protect you, and he always tried to, but how could he protect you from yourself? “Babe, you have nothin’ to apologize for. It’s not your fault,” he said, tilting your head up so you can’t look away again. “It’s not your fault, okay? I don’t blame you. I promise you, I don’t blame you.”  

You nodded and leaned into his touch, closing your eyes as you turned your head and pressed a kiss to his palm. Even though the getsure was small and the pressure of your lips on his skin was faint, it still sent sparks through Tyler’s body. 

Tyler leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “I promise, it doesn’t matter that you don’t remember,” he mumbled, pressing another soft, barely-there kiss to one end of your stitches. “And I’m not mad at you for any of this, and I never have been.”

You nodded again before giving him a tight smile. “I’m tired,” you whispered and changed the subject, which he was kinda glad about. It was twice now that you had become taken over by guilt today, and he didn’t want to dampen your mood further. “Can I watch a few more streams? Or maybe I can help you unpack the groceries and we can watch some together after?” 

Tyler grinned at your sneaky attempt of  trying to get him to let you help, but he was used to your tricks by now. “Yeah, you go get comfy on the couch,” he replied, guiding you inside and out of the afternoon sun. “I’ll handle the groceries.”

A few hours later, the groceries were unpacked and put away, and Tyler watched countless old streams with you until he got up to make dinner, then you asked to watch more after. He wondered if part of you, the one that failed to remember anything, missed those days that you had forgotten about, and that’s why you wanted to watch so many.  Eitherway, he wasn’t complaining. He liked reliving those memories with you. 

When it became quite late, he set you up with a show and a hot chocolate you managed to convince him to buy for you earlier, then he had a quick shower in the bathroom attached to yours and his bedroom. As he passed by the bed towards the dresser, he felt a warmth take over him as water droplets rolled down his body. Finally, after what felt like forever, he knew he would be getting some decent sleep tonight. Because he would be next to you, where he belonged. 

Half an hour later, you joined him in the bedroom just as he was pulling back the covers. “You sure you want me to sleep with you?” He asked as he fluffed the pillow on his side that he knew you’d been sleeping on since the fabric smelled like your conditioner. “I just want you to be comfortable.”

You turned to him with a small smile as you nodded. “Of course I still want you to sleep with me,” you answered, pulling off your hoodie as you sat down on your side of the bed. “This is where we’re supposed to be. Together.”

Those were the truest words he’d ever heard. Yeah, you and he were supposed to be together, and had been for over a decade. A whole decade with you, how lucky was he? Even though you lost almost all those years, nothing had really changed. 

Tyler got in bed next to you, and almost instantly you moved closer to him until your body was pressed against his, your head on his chest. His hands ran up and down your back, your skin feeling warm even through the fabric of your shirt. You felt so perfect against him, so right. He felt like a giddy teen again, like how he did when he held you like this for the first time. 

As he rests his chin gently on the top of your head, he can tell you’re almost asleep as he whispers, “You know I’d do anythin’ for you, right? Anythin’ you want…or need, I’ll do it. You know that, right?”

You hummed, nuzzling your face against his neck. “I know,” you whispered back, “You’ve proved that in the week I’ve been home.”

Tyler sighed quietly, tangling his fingers in your hair. “Promise me we’ll end every day like this,” he mumbled, “I don’t want to sleep by myself in that guest room ever again.”

You nodded, and that was enough for him, but your words just made the feeling inside him even more intense. “I already feel so much better and comfortable now that you’re here with me. I don’t want to be anywhere else than right here, with you,” you said quietly, clearly struggling to stay away at this point as you cuddled into his warmth. “So yeah…I promise.”

“Good…you’re where you belong, baby. Right here in my arms,” he said, then you were completely relaxed against him, and he knew you were asleep. But Tyler didn’t want to go to sleep yet, not when he finally had you back in his arms in almost two weeks. “I love you so much. So, so much.” He murmured, reveling in the familiar feeling of being this close to you again. 

A week goes by, and Dr. James had called Tyler in regards to you getting your stitches taken out. 

Tyler was a bit on edge today, since there was a Tornado watch out, but he wasn’t anxious because he was scared. No, he lived for the adrenaline of chasing, but he hadn’t left your side for two and a half weeks. He had completely put that part of his life on pause for you, and he wouldn’t change a thing about it. 

Still, he felt the urge he always got to throw himself right in the line of danger whenever a storm was set to hit. 

However, he was anxious about taking you back to the hospital, even though it was just for you to get your stitches taken out. He was in the kitchen, pulling open the dishwasher as he looked for his travel mug that he misplaced every single time he used it. 

It was rather early in the morning, and he needed coffee if he was going to be able to make the drive to and from the hospital. “Damn,” he muttered, closing the dishwasher after seeing that the mug wasn’t in there. You wandered into the kitchen, looking as adorable as ever in your leggings and one of his flannels, but he barely smiled at you as he opened up a cupboard. “Where the hell did I put it?” 

You laughed quietly before walking over to the cabinet across from the stove. You open it and pull out the black mug, holding it out to him as you mumbled, “Here,” 

Tyler froze once he took it from you, and he glanced down at it before back up at you, wondering how you knew it was in there since he hadn’t used it in a few weeks, and you definitely hadn’t been rummaging around in the kitchen the last two weeks for you to have seen it in there. Somehow you knew where it was, though. At least your body did. “Thanks, baby…” he said as he set the mug down on the counter. “How did you know where it was?”

It wasn’t rare for you to always know where the things he misplaced were, but instances like this hadn’t happened since you got injured. And maybe he was reading too much into it, but by the look on your face, you were a bit confused, too. “I don’t know. I just had a feeling, I guess,” you trailed off as you, too, glanced down at the steel mug as if the thing had powers or something. 

Tyler looked at you for a long moment, hoping that maybe this was a sign that your memory was on its way back, even if you didn’t know it. “You just knew, huh?” He couldn’t stop the grin from taking over his face as he reached out and took your chin between his thumb and index finger. 

You smiled up at him before stepping into his arms for a hug. You had told him that you were a bit nervous to have your stitches taken out, even though your head was looking so much better, and he could feel the way your body thrummed a bit in his hold. 

Just as he was about to speak, you pulled back and looked up at him for a few seconds before slowly leaning up to press your lips to his. Tyler froze for a second time as he processed the feeling of your mouth against his, the feeling so familiar even after he had gone without it for half a month. 

After a second, he melted against you, his hand sliding to your jaw as he kissed you back, unable to stop himself after holding back for so long. He kissed you as if his life depended on it, the ache he’s been feeling since he carried you into that hospital the first time finally beginning to fade just a bit. 

His heart was beating fast as he deepened the kiss, pulling you closer to him. His hand tangled gently in your hair as he softly took over, pushing you back against the counter as he wrapped his arm tightly around your waist. Kissing you like this felt as natural as breathing. It was how you and he always kissed, and it made him feel a bit light headed in the best possible way. 

After a few more seconds, you pull away with a breath of air escaping your mouth, and you grin up at him. Your lips were a bit wet from his, and your hands were tightly gripping his biceps as you tried to catch your breath, and you looked so beautiful. “Damn, baby,” he rasped, stroking your jaw with his thumb. “I almost forgot how good you taste.”

He didn’t, that was a lie. 

You laughed as blush took over your face, and you quickly covered his mouth with your hand. “Don’t say that,” you whined quietly, burying your face against his neck. 

Tyler laughed too, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and pulling your hand away from his mouth. “Why not? It’s true, you taste so good,” he said again, and you just groaned and shook your head, pulling back to look up at him. 

“We need to go,” you state, pulling away from him completely. 

Tyler almost groaned too, because now he wanted to forget about the hospital completely so he could stay here and kiss you like a horny teenager all morning, but then again…that could wait. It had to. “You’re right,” he mumbled, filling the mug he now had a strange amount of fondness for with coffee before leading you out to the truck. 

At the hospital, you and Tyler were both grinning as Nurse Karson led you into a room towards the end of a hallway. “How are you doing?” She asked as you situated yourself on the examination bed, the paper sheet wrinkling under you. “Any progress on those memories?”

You shook your head and answered, “No, not really,” 

But Tyler couldn’t even bring himself to feel disappointed, because he was still thinking about your kiss in the kitchen earlier. 

“Oh, that’s okay,” she smiled, gently turning your head so she could look at your stitches for a few seconds. “They look good, healed nicely. I’ll send in Dr. James in a few minutes.”

Tyler nodded and leaned against the end of the bed, smiling as you leaned towards him and pressed your cheek against his bicep. 

For some reason, he felt the best he’s felt since the night you got injured. He felt hopeless before, like there was no way you and he would be able to completely restart things, but now that he knew you were still connected both physically and emotionally, he had a change of heart. 

While the thought of you never getting your memories back hurt him beyond words,  he knew it really didn’t matter in the end, because he still had you. 

Dr. James entered the room a few minutes later, a big smile on his face as he walked towards you. “How are you? How are you feeling?” He asked, shaking Tyler’s hand in a greeting before moving to the other side of you. 

“I’m good,” you say, lifting your head from Tyler’s arm. “Feeling good.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Also glad to see smiles on both your faces,” he nodded, turning your head as he brought the light closer to your healed cut. “Looks great. You did a good job taking care of it. I hear that your memories still aren’t back, but don’t worry. It takes time. I’m just glad to see that you both seem a lot happier now than when I last saw you.” He grinned, reaching for a pair of gloves.

Happy didn’t even begin to cover it, but it was close enough. 

Just as James was about to slide the gloves on, another doctor knocked on the door. “Dr. James, you’re needed in 203,” he said a bit impatiently as James turned to look at him. “It’s urgent.” 

You looked between the two doctors before looking up at Tyler, and he just smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of your head. He was in such a good mood, he didn’t even care if he had to wait a bit longer now. 

But Dr. James sighed and turned back to you. “I don’t want to keep you, especially since the weather is supposed to get bad soon. Do you mind if my friend here takes over?” He asked, gesturing for the other doctor to enter the room. 

“No,” you shook your head. “I don’t mind at all.” It also sounded like you were in a great fucking mood, and that made Tyler smile as James nodded and quickly left the room. 

“Alright, let’s see here,” Doctor…Hansen said as he walked over to you and turned your head a bit fast to the side, making you look up at Tyler with wide eyes as a slight smile formed on your lips. “Ah, just need these to come out, huh?”

Hansen grabbed a pair of gloves and scissors and moved to tower over you, and Tyler would’ve actually preferred to have waited for James, because this guy seemed like he was a bit too impatient for this. 

“Okay, this shouldn’t hurt at all,” he mumbled, then began pulling at the threads of your stitches. 

You winced, your eyes squinting a bit as you tried to stay still, but now Tyler was kind of annoyed, because this guy was clearly in a rush and wasn’t going as slow as he needed to be. 

Tyler let you grab his hand as Dr. Hansen cut at each thread and pulled them out, and when you winced for a second time, Tyler leaned back to look at him. “Hey, can you maybe be a bit more gentle? You said it shouldn’t hurt, but it doesn’t seem to be turnin’ out that way, doctor,” he said, unable to keep the irritation out of his voice.

“I apologize,” the doctor muttered, but he did end up being a lot more gentle after that, and soon enough, the stitches were all out, leaving just a red line along your head. “There, all done. Any questions?”

You and Tyler shared a look before you both shook your heads, and he nodded before taking off his gloves. 

“Alright then, you guys better get home before the storm hits,” he said, already heading towards the door. “Have a good rest of your day.”

Then it was just you and Tyler in the room. “I think I like James better,” you mumbled and Tyler hummed in agreement, helping you off the bed.

He turned you to face him so he could look at your head, and the skin looked a bit irritated, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of Hansen or if this was a normal thing after having stitches removed. “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” He asked, wrapping his arm around your waist as he walked with you out of the room and down the hall. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” you replied, leaning against him as you reached up and ran your fingers along your head. “He could’ve been a bit more gentle, but it doesn’t hurt too much.”

Tyler furrowed his brows as he walked past the nurse’s station, and he made a mental note to call later and say that Doctor Hansen is a real prick. “It shouldn’t hurt at all, baby,” he sighed,  helping you up into the truck once you made it outside. The sky was a dark shade of gray, signaling that the storm was coming soon, and he sighed again before looking back at you. 

“You want to chase it, don’t you?” You asked quietly as you leaned back against the seat, and Tyler didn’t lie when he nodded his head in response. “Do it. Drop me off at home and meet up with Lilly and the others. I’ll be okay by myself.”

Tyler shook his head and reached for your seatbelt. “No, baby, it’s fine,” he said, “I’ll get the next one, I don’t want-”

You cut him off by guiding his mouth to yours for the second time today, and Tyler shut up immediately as he returned the sweet kiss. It was short but just as amazing as every other kiss, and when you pulled away, you were smiling. “I’ll be fine, Ty,” you said again, “Take me home then go do what you do best, Mr. Tornado Wrangler.” 

He was about to protest again, but the look you gave him had him grinning before nodding. “Okay,” he said quietly, leaning in to press one last quick kiss to your lips before shutting the door and getting in on the driver’s side. 

While Tyler wasn’t very keen on the idea of leaving you at home by yourself, the storm wasn’t set to hit anywhere near the house, so he knew you’d be safe in regards to that, but what if you needed him and he wasn’t there? You’d been great since the day he brought you home, and he knew you were completely comfortable there, but still…he had his doubts. 

His fingers were loosely laced with yours the whole ride home, and when he pulled up to yours and his little sanctuary, you looked tired when he turned to face you. “I can stay,” he said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

You grinned and unbuckled your seatbelt to be able to turn and face him fully. “I’ll be alone for only a little bit. And I’m kind of tired, so you’d just be sitting with me the whole time if you were to stay anyway,” you pointed out as you brought his hand up and pressed the back of it against your cheek. “I’ll watch your stream and wish I was there with you, but I don’t want you to think about me when you’re out there okay? Focus on what matters.”

“So…you?” Tyler smirked, his thumb stroking your cheek bone. “I’m always thinkin’ about you, baby. Always.”

Your smile grew and you leaned into his touch. “Good,” you laughed quietly. “I’ll be fine, okay? Don’t worry about me. And please, please, be careful.”

Tyler knew you were right, and with a reluctant sigh, he nodded. “I will,” he said before leaning over to kiss you sweetly. “Call me if you need anythin’, okay? I’ll have my phone on me the whole time.”

You nodded and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, then you were getting out of the truck and walking towards the house as you subtly rubbed at your head. 

-

Tyler had been gone for about twenty minutes now as you settled on the couch, a blanket covering your body as you touched your head some more. 

You knew you should probably stop, but it was itchy and Dr. Hansen was definitely rushing the process of removing your stitches earlier. You had stitches in your arm when you were a kid, and that removal was painless, unlike this one. It shouldn’t hurt this much after. 

Still, you propped your elbow up on the armrest of the couch as you fumbled around with the TV remote, and soon enough, your boyfriend’s face was on the flat screen. You smiled as a warmth took over your body, and you felt a sense of pride fill your veins, because that crazy guy on the TV was all yours, and had been for so long now, even if you couldn’t remember all of those years right now. 

It was kind of crazy to see him go from the sweet, caring guy he was in the truck to the outgoing, wild and carefree person he was right now. It was honestly very attractive to see his many sides, and you leaned further back as you looked at his handsome face as he spoke to the camera mounted on the dashboard of the truck you had a large amount of fondness for. 

Then the screen changed to an aerial view of the tornado, and your smile faded a little bit. A feeling of dread took over you, because that massive gust of wind was happening right now, and your boyfriend was near it. And would be getting even closer to it. Right now. 

You knew what he did, and you knew you did it with him before you got hurt, but to see it now was something else. You didn’t feel this way when you were watching past streams, because Tyler was right next to you when you watched them, but now he wasn’t, because this was happening in real time. 

You quickly looked around for your phone, unsure of why you were suddenly feeling like you were about to be sick as you scrambled across the couch to grab the device from off the coffee table. 

Something didn’t feel right, and you were beginning to realize that it wasn’t just the side of your head that hurt, but all of it. Your whole head was pounding now, and it felt like your brain was expanding outside your skull’s limit. 

Your vision blurred a bit as you pushed the blanket onto the floor, suddenly feeling overheated as you tried to find Tyler’s contact through the blurriness. Just when you saw his name, you let out a sharp gasp and dropped your phone as you cradled your head and fell back against the couch, the only sounds being heard were your pained moans and the cheerful, smug voice of your boyfriend on the TV. 

Then it went black.

-

“Okay, lovebirds,” Lilly groaned as Tyler pulled you into his arms outside the movie theater. “It’s late, and I need to get some sleep if we’re gonna be chasin’ anythin’ tomorrow.”

Tyler smiled at his friend and nodded, tucking you close to his chest as he swayed with you in his arms. “Okay, Lil,” he mumbled, “Have a good night.”

Lilly nodded at you and Tyler. “I’ll see you both tomorrow,” she said, looking back to the street to check the traffic. “You guys get some sleep, yeah? No stayin’ up late doing…whatever.” She cringed before smiling and quickly walking across the street once it was clear for her to do so. 

You blushed and buried your face against Tyler’s neck, murmuring, “Take me home, Ty,”

Tyler hummed, leaning down to press a deep kiss to your lips, holding you tight against his body. “Oh, I will, baby,” he said back, peppering your face with quick kisses just as a few raindrops started to fall. He pulled away and looked up at the sky, blinking quickly as the rain dropped onto his face. “It wasn’t supposed to rain tonight. You stay right here, babe, I’ll go get the truck.” He stated, guiding you to stand closer to the doors of the theater so you were out of the rain. 

“I can get a little wet, baby,” you teased, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “But you’re hot when you’re a gentleman, so I’ll do as I’m told.”

Tyler grinned and placed another soft kiss to your lips before pulling away. “You just stay out of trouble, yeah?” He teased back as he stepped out into the rain that hadn’t quite picked up yet. “Love you.”

“Love you,” you called back, smiling as you watched him walk quickly down the street. 

As you waited, the air became a bit thicker, an indication that a storm was on its way, but not just a rain storm. No, you’d been in enough storms to know that this was much bigger than rain, and you were proven right when the woman next to you, who was also seeking shelter from the cold drops of water, began panicking as she looked at her phone. 

You didn’t need to see the screen to know what she was reading, the loud alarm that sounded through the device told you that it was a tornado warning. 

Then everyone on the street started to panic, except for you. You knew better than to freak out at a time like this.

As you stepped away from the doors, you heard the unmistakable sound of a girl crying, and when you looked to your right, you saw a kid standing in the rain, tears falling down her rosy cheeks.  Without thinking, you quickly made your way over to her, kneeling down on the sidewalk as you gently grabbed her arms. “Hey, it’s okay,” you said, instantly becoming soaked as you looked around for anyone that shared any of the girl’s features. “Where’s your mom, huh? Or your dad?” 

She shrugged as she sobbed and clung to your shirt. “I don’t know!”

You furrowed your brows, feeling a sense of protectiveness over the young girl, who looked no more than five. “Hey, it’s okay,” you said again. “I’m gonna stay with you, okay? We’re gonna…” you trailed off as you looked behind her at the bricked wall of the theater. It was cracking with each passing second from the force of the wind and rain, and before you could get out another word, it began to collapse. 

Without hesitating, you shoved the girl away from you just as the bricks shot out everywhere, the whole wall breaking apart and raining debris down onto the sidewalk. A burning sensation took over your body as a brick slammed right into your head, and you fell back before you could process what had happened. 

Then your vision faded to black, and your eyes shut.

-

2 more parts left...thank you for reading x

[arieslost]

one night only | cl16

charles leclerc x fem!reader

summary: when the miami grand prix comes around, charles books a hotel room.

word count: 3,263

warnings: 18+ content MDNI!! mentions of cheating (don’t do it), cursing, charles is a player but you’re down bad (who isn’t), this is my first time writing smut so enjoy!

special thank you to @venusacrossthestars for being my beta reader, ily bestie <3

masterlist — join my tag list here!

© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

unknown number: Our hotel. 10:30. Your keycard is at the front desk.

It was like clockwork. Every weekend of the Miami Grand Prix, you always ended up with a keycard in your hand. When Monday came, you woke up, showered, and took the tiny bottle of shampoo that you used with you when you left. It went in a shoebox under your bed to remind yourself not only of your mistakes, but of each and every night you spent forgetting them in the arms of the biggest mistake himself— Charles Leclerc.

It’s happened twice now. You hardly remembered the first, barring a joke you made about whether or not you needed to sign a NDA. Charles had silenced you by backing you up against the locked door and pressing heated kisses to your jaw, lips moving down your neck as you pulled him closer. He was excited that weekend— he’d taken P2, and it was thanks to the celebration he partook in at the club that he met you.

You were a bartender for the VIP section at a club near the track. It was easy work, if you didn’t mind all the flirting and catcalling. You were never one to be affected by it; you knew they were all either drunk beyond recognition, or would be by the end of the night. You loved your job. You also loved your boyfriend, whose shift you’d picked up that night.

But then Charles Leclerc, Scuderia Ferrari’s golden boy, sat down at the bar. Your bar.

After that weekend, you didn’t have a boyfriend. How could you, when every time he kissed you, you saw a certain Monegasque behind your closed eyelids? When every time he touched you, you imagined different hands caressing your skin?

You’ve always prided yourself in being a strong, independent woman, but when it came to the Formula One driver, all your inhibitions went out the window, and your pride with them. So you tried not to get attached to him. You were perfectly happy to be the annual hookup, to let yourself go for one night out of the 365 that came in a year. You didn’t need to get to know him, you didn’t need to learn more about the sport; you didn’t even need to kiss him on the mouth.

You didn’t.

So why were the words “our hotel” making your heart race every time you read over the text from his unsaved number?

You thought about responding, but in the end, you settled for liking the message, just like you did the last time he texted you. It had been his idea to keep this up in the first place, anyway.

2022.

“Where’re you going?” He was half awake, sleep fading quickly from his eyes when he took in the sight of you with your hand on the doorknob.

“I was leaving… unless you changed your mind about that NDA?” You quipped.

“That’s as funny as it was last night,” he groaned, stretching out and pushing the blankets off his body.

Ahh, last night. He’d put his boxers back on before falling asleep, but they didn’t really leave much to the imagination. Especially because it was all so fresh in your mind. The way he looked– hair mussed after all the times your hands had run through it, golden skin against the crisp, white hotel sheets, the red scratch marks on his back… Yeah, it was a miracle that you didn’t launch yourself back into the bed right then and there. You still dreamt about it sometimes, the way he looked so ethereal in the early morning sunlight streaming through the curtains.

“Are you going to continue to mock my sense of humor, or can I be on my way?” Your throat was so dry.

“I’ll be back in the area next year.” He didn’t offer any explanation— it was Charles Leclerc. He didn’t have to.

You fished out the piece of paper you’d scrawled your number on earlier before promptly stuffing it into your pocket in a moment of retrospection. Hell bent on leaving the room before you acted on the impulse to get on top of him again, you tossed it onto the nightstand.

“Make sure I can tell it’s you.” It was the last thing you said to him before you finally made it out the door.

Now, you read over his text again as you climbed the steps to the VIP section of the club. Our hotel. You were going to need some liquid courage if you were going to fuck him tonight.

A solid perk of your job was free access to the VIP section when you weren’t working, and in times like these you were most definitely going to take advantage of it. A couple shots were all you needed to take the edge off, and you downed them in quick succession before checking the time- 10:10. You were cutting it close, but the closer it got to 10:30, the antsier you became. You decided to linger for five more minutes, and called for another round.

“You okay?” One of your coworkers asked from behind the bar as he filled the shot glasses in front of you. “You look a little nervous.”

You laughed, waving him off. “I’m fine. Now leave me alone so I can enjoy my drinks, will you?”

He flipped you off good naturedly before turning to his other customers.

With another shot down, you took out your phone, the text still front and center on the display. You swiped it away, instead opening up the search engine. Against your better judgment, you typed the sentence you’d been restraining yourself from searching up all day long: miami gp 2024 results.

The first thing you saw was his name. CHARLES LECLERC WINS 2024 MIAMI GRAND PRIX.

You fought the urge to smile, quickly grabbing your fourth and final shot and tipping it back. Ironically, the burn of the whiskey sobered you up a little as you gazed at the picture showcasing his beaming face and dimpled cheeks, both hands lifting the first place trophy high in the air. You made the mistake of bringing up the race (or lack thereof) the last time you saw him, and since then you’d made an effort to try and avoid anything to do with F1.

2023.

“Disqualified? I mean, it’s shit!” You exclaimed heatedly as you wiped down the bar. Your phone was burning a hole in your pocket, making your stomach squirm with excitement every time you remembered the text.

Same hotel. 10:30. There’s a keycard at the front desk. No NDA. You had giggled at that last bit, and if you’d completely given up on your morals then you might have fallen in love with him for remembering the joke that he didn’t even crack a smile at last year. You’d practiced some French, and you paid attention to news about the Miami Grand Prix, but you hadn’t given up on your morals.​​ You weren’t going to fall for and pursue the guy you only saw once a year.

The French was simply because you wanted to brush up on your rusty high school skills. As for the news… well, you were in the area. Everyone was paying attention to the news.

“I didn’t realize you cared so much.” Your coworker replied, an eyebrow cocked at your reaction to what the reporter was saying on the TV.

“I don’t care, I just think it’s stupid.” You backpedaled, trying to sound more casual than you did a second ago, especially when Charles appeared on the screen looking nothing short of dead inside and your heart began to beat a little faster. “Everyone should be able to race.”

“Yeah, well, that’s the FIA for you.” One of your patrons grumbled, thumbing through his wallet and producing two five dollar bills. “Thanks, guys.”

“You keep that,” you shoved both bills into your coworker’s hand after the customer was out of earshot. “I have to go.”

You changed at the speed of light in the VIP bathroom before going to the hotel. You showed the clerk your ID, collected the keycard, entered the room, and promptly made a fool of yourself.

“I heard about the disqualification on the news…” You trailed off when you were met with a glare, not necessarily towards you but rather the topic of conversation.

“I don’t want to talk about that right now.” Was all he said before he practically manhandled you onto the bed, pulling his shirt over his head as you bounced back on the mattress. “When I’m with you, I don’t want to talk about work. I don’t want to talk at all.”

“Okay,” you agreed quietly, any other words dying in your throat as he hurriedly pushed your dress up past your stomach and immediately started kissing every inch of newly exposed skin.

When he reached the apex of your thighs, he looked up at you. “The only thing I want to hear you say for the rest of the night is my name, understand?”

He’d grabbed your hands and put them in his hair that night, right as he had you seeing stars courtesy of his head between your legs. You dreamt about that, too. A lot. You always woke up sweating, in desperate need of a certain type of relief that only he could give you.

You were thinking about last year again as you walked through the revolving doors into the hotel lobby, the shots of whiskey making your veins thrum with excitement.

The way he had whined when you pulled his hair.

The way he smirked at you as he crawled back up your body, so full of himself and so damn sexy.

You found yourself wondering what he’d be like tonight after winning the race as you gave your name to the clerk at the front desk, hoping she wouldn’t comment on how flushed you looked. She asked to see your ID, then handed the keycard over. Room 24. You were there in moments. He always booked a room on the third floor. As you walked down the hallway, you were vaguely aware of the fact that, against your will, this had become something of a routine.

You and Charles Leclerc. One night only.

For three years in a row.

You hadn’t even bothered to dress up this time— your clothes wouldn’t be staying on very long, anyway.

You were glad to see that you’d gotten there first when you opened the door, pocketing the keycard as the door swung shut behind you. There was no point in looking around the room; you knew the layout like the back of your hand. Eventually, you drew your attention to the view out of the large window, moving the curtain out of your way to admire the view of the Miami night. You tried imagining what everyone else was doing at that exact moment to distract yourself, but your mind kept going back to Charles.

Charles, Charles, Charles. Just thinking about him made your heart knock against your chest, and you were in the middle of mentally berating yourself for it when you heard the door opening and Charles himself walked in, the trophy you saw him holding in the picture still in his hand.

“Hey,” you greeted him, nerves adding a slight shake to your voice.

He gave you a soft smile in return, setting the trophy down on the nightstand and adjusting it slightly.

You remembered how he reacted the last time you mentioned his job, but this had to be different. Besides, it felt wrong not to acknowledge it when the trophy was literally sitting right there.

“Congrats— or, actually, félicitations on the win,” you said, dropping the curtain back and stepping closer to get a better look at the trophy. “Much better result than last year.”

“You’re not kidding.” He scoffed, taking his hat off and tossing it on the other side of the nightstand. “You know French?”

“A little.”

He had changed out of his race suit, but when you stood next to him you could still smell the champagne.

“Think you’ll be in the running for the championship?” You asked casually, even though you knew that he was in a great position already and was most definitely in the running for the championship.

You tried to avoid Formula One. You just weren’t all that successful.

He gave you a look, like he was trying to get in your head and figure out when you’d started paying attention. “I hope so,” he finally answered. “This could be the year.”

“I hope so too.” A pause. “Would it be overstepping if I said I was proud of you?”

This brought a real smile to his face, his dimples seeming even more prominent than they did in the photo. “Not at all. It’s actually really nice… hearing that from you.”

The usual initial awkwardness had finally faded away, and you knew what was going to happen next. You wished you could sit down with him and listen to him retell every moment of his triumphant race, but you couldn’t.

That’s what girlfriends do. Not hookups. You were perfectly fine with being a hookup, and you would continue to repeat it to yourself until you believed it again.

To mask your disappointment, you reached out and gently took his hand. His palm was warm under your touch as you pulled him close. “How about we celebrate that first place, hmm?”

The two of you moved like a well oiled machine, even after not seeing each other in a year.

He always tried to kiss you. You always turned your head at the last second. If he was disappointed, he never showed it, instead focusing on getting you underneath him. Not that he had to try very hard.

Charles had a way of making you forget. With every brush of his fingers against your bare skin, every press of his lips at your collarbone, you slipped away from reality more and more, until the only things that mattered were you, him, and the hotel room. Nothing existed outside of the four walls you were within, and how could you care right now? You couldn’t, not when he had already gotten you out of your shirt and bra and his hand was gently taking hold of your breast. He was taking his time, studying your every move in response to his own. His thumb brushed across your nipple just enough for your breath to catch in your throat, a soft gasp escaping your parted lips.

“Yeah, baby, I know,” he murmured, ego clearly inflated by the fact that the slightest touch from him still had you reacting this way, and you wished more than anything that you could kiss that stupid smirk off his face.

“I thought we were supposed to be celebrating,” you managed to say as his thumb continued its back and forth motion.

“This is me celebrating.” He paused, giving you a pointed look. “Is this not good enough for you?”

You bit your tongue, chest rising and falling as you squirmed underneath him due to the sudden lack of stimulation. “I-I just—”

“What? Utilise tes mots, chérie. Je sais que tu peux.” Use your words, dear. I know you can.

You took a breath, then looked directly into his stunning green eyes as you reached up, grabbed his wrist, and pushed his hand down. “Je te veux ici, Charles.” I want you here.

He cursed lowly, eyes fluttering shut for a moment when he heard you speaking French back to him. “You said you only knew a little.”

“Just the important stuff,” you teased, eyes traveling down from his bare chest to his fingers as he tugged your underwear off.

The rest of his clothes followed, and he didn’t waste any time rolling on a condom and pushing himself into you, a punched breath leaving his lips once he was fully seated inside you. “Thought about this all day,” he said, large hands running over your naked body. “Couldn’t wait to see you.”

“You can’t say that kind of shit to me, Charles.” You sighed, your eyes closed as you adjusted to him.

“Why not?”

“Because it messes with my head,” you admitted.

“I mean it, though.”

“Did you mean to say ‘our hotel’ too?” You opened your eyes now, the burning question finally about to be answered.

“It is, don’t you think?” He asked, and then he started to move; slowly, tantalizingly.

“Shit. I can’t think when I’m with you.”

You couldn’t talk after that, not when he was making you feel so good. You could only wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him closer and marking his neck wherever your lips landed. You shouldn’t have, and he should have stopped you, but neither of you cared. Every lewd noise coming from his mouth made you feel hotter and hotter, and just when you thought you were going to burst into a ball of flames, he started talking.

“I want you to look at yourself,” he instructed breathlessly, maneuvering you so he was now laying on his side behind you… and you were staring right into your own eyes in the shiny surface of his first place trophy. “See how beautiful you look when I fuck you.”

You gasped, eyes rolling back, bringing your arm back so your hand could find a home in his hair again. You watched through the trophy as he dipped his head into the crook of your neck, breath hot against your skin and arm tightening around you as he picked up his pace.

“Charles, I—”

“Mhmm,” he moaned in your ear, his hand slipping back between your legs when he felt you tightening around him. “Go on, baby, let go for me.”

You didn’t need to learn more about Formula One, but you had. You didn’t need to know more about Charles Leclerc, but you wanted to. You didn’t need to kiss him on the mouth. But your mind was hazy, and you wanted to know how his lips felt on yours. You wanted it so bad that, when the both of you had come back down to earth, you didn’t fight it when he leaned in and captured your lips with his. He kissed you deeply, rolling you onto your back against the pillows. You felt his hand against your cheek, and as you opened your mouth for him you tangled your fingers with his.

You weren’t stupid. You knew that things wouldn’t change.

And they don’t.

You still wake up before him in the morning. You still shower. You still put your clothes back on. You still trade parting words with each other, and you don’t hear from him for another year. You still take the shampoo bottle and put it in your shoebox when you get home, ignoring the ache between your legs the whole while.

Nothing changes.

Except now, you’ve spent a year knowing what it’s like to kiss him. You know how easily your lips mold together, how you would happily spend your one night with him doing nothing but kissing him.

And when the text lights up your phone, a thrill shoots through you.

CL16: Our hotel. 10:00. You know where to find your keycard. 😉

Maybe, somehow, you can find a way to keep your morals and be in love with Charles Leclerc at the same time.

note: well, here it is— after two+ years, i have made my long awaited return to posting fics on tumblr. i’ve done it in style by posting 18+ content for the first time; i hope it wasn’t too cringy to read. i don’t know what came over me, but here we are. thank you so much for reading.

requests are OPEN, and my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!

likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated <33

also, i’ve been out of high school for almost three years now, so i greatly apologize if the french is bad or incorrect.

beautiful dividers by @saradika !!

tags (i’m sorry if i couldn’t tag you!): @naturallyspontaneous @whatever7justchillin @outerudeth @devlovesbooks @wegaveitago @seagulltacotoaster @acarguello1 @fangirlika @simplyscorpio @nuccibeboo2 @heeygemmilala @toppersjeep @anedpev @vee2004dee @chriss-club @lewisroscoelove @scaramou @aneverythingwriter @bingewatche @candystarfish @bestpart0fmylife @topgunmav1df1 @taytaythirteen @jackiekennedys @tpwk-loml @mangodreamsicle @rafaaoli @bunbun9396 @olicitymckono @weareallsnottygirls @jenm26 @alicecourtier @oliveswiftly @janeholt3 @d3kstar @l-inas @smiithys @spookylilmeep @barcelono @ililali-blog @srhh15 @sainz-leclerc @lilycampbells-blog @cassandra-nerezza-black @nova-rush