#((no guarantees I won’t disappear again but I’ll try not to :) ))

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 19 Premium Story

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

nsfw talk at the end. You thought there’d be no hint of nsfw given the situation, but you were wrong

I snuck into the courthouse to look for Roger after he got arrested. Thanks to Ale’s distraction, I slipped past the security guard and found a hidden door that led to the jail cells.

When I grabbed at the bars and strained my eyes, there he was— 

Roger: …Kate. What are you doing here?

As soon as he saw me, his eyes went wide.

On the ground lay a pair of broken glasses and his face was bruised as if he took a beating.

(How terrible…)

Kate: Roger, please wait. I’m opening the cell.

Roger: It won’t open ‘cause it’s locked. It’s not easy— 

Kate: If it won’t open then I’ll just break it.

I took out the gun hidden beneath my skirt.

(Even now…I’m not ready to shoot people)

(But I can help the person I love out of a locked jail cell)

In the darkness, the muzzle flashed like lightning and the of a broken lock hitting the ground resounded.

(it’s open…!)

Roger: …O_O

There was nothing dividing us anymore after I stepped into the cell.

Kate: …

Roger: …

The moment his amber eyes, which reflected the flickering candlelight, met mine—

Kate: Roger you’re an idiot, the worst, an egoist, a show-off!

Roger: ………Huh?

Kate: What… What’s with “And lastly, I’ve fallen for you”?! Lastly means we’ll never see each other again.

Roger was dumbfounded and looked at me as if he was looking at something strange.

Roger: I might not be into the liberal arts, but I know what words mean.

Kate: If that’s the case, Why would you part with “I’ve fallen for you” or “I adore you”? If someone said those words to me, they would be etched into my mind and there’s no way they’d be final…

Roger: Is that why you chased after me all the way here?

Kate: Yes. With Ale! It was difficult sneaking in and the passageway was so dark…It was awful.

I was relieved that Roger was saved, but also annoyed by how self-centered he was…

Emotions overflowed like a muddy stream.

Honestly, I just wanted to slap him so many times.

(But this wasn’t what I really wanted to tell him…)

Kate: …Are you really, Are you really going to…just give up?

How many times have I thought back to our conversation by the train station the night I learned about his past—*

~~ Flashback ~~

Roger: When you first became Fairytale Keeper, you told me about how crushed you felt by your own weakness. “I won’t despair”.

Kate: …Yes. I remember.

Roger: Even though you felt depressed, it was sweet seeing you keep looking forward and not give in to despair. I also believe that in life is to give despair the finger.

Kate: Give despair the finger?

Roger: Yeah. I went through the trouble of being born. I’m not gonna give into despair so easily.

~ End flashback ~

I still clearly remembered his profile, his gaze, and the way he smiled when he said that.

(I then learned afterward that Roger wasn’t a strong person, but rather, a person trying to be strong)

Facing despair over and over.

But now, standing all alone, Roger was being consumed by despair.

(Of course he would. The research materials that were as important as his own life were stolen and used against him…) 

(And as a result, things were following the fate of betrayal)

It was like his cursed fate was mocking him, completely denying his way of life.

(I know there’s no way for a human to make curses disappear)

(But…if you get consumed by despair, then you’re done for)

Roger picked me up all the times I was about step into despair.

Kate: …The situation may be desperate. It may be hopeless. Even so…I’m here for you. I’ll continue to believe in you.

Roger: Believe in me…I’m the Double-crossing Hunter. I could even be betraying right now, in this very moment.

Kate: You wouldn’t. Because you promised that day, didn’t you? “I will never betray you without a reason.” Besides—If you betrayed me, then it’s because I was foolish enough to trust you. Right?

Roger: …O_O

Kate: Listen, Roger. Even with your fate to betray, I believe in you.

Roger: …

(This is the first time I’ve seen Roger look like this…)

He looked so vulnerable, and his heart was bared and wounded.

(Roger, I’m still weak, but…Would it be okay if I hugged you?)

I took a step, and then another…

It was like I was savoring this distance that I hadn't had the courage to cross as I got closer to Roger.

(You’ve picked my heart back up countless times. Now it’s my turn to do the same for you—)

I hugged him with both arms as he sat on the ground and squeezed him as hard as I could.

Kate: I like you…I love you. You’re the one I fell for, so it would be a problem if you were consumed by despair.

Then I lifted my hands up to hold his cheeks.

Kate: Pull yourself together, Roger Barel! You’re the strongest egoist out there! This despair’s nothing. Just give it the middle finger and laugh it off like you always do!

Roger: …O_O Pfft…

Kate: …Roger?

Roger: Heh… Ahahahahaha! Ahhh…You really are…

—Suddenly, his lips were on mine.

Kate: Nn—...!

No hesitation and his whole heart into it…A kiss typical of an egoist like him.

(I can’t breathe when you kiss me like that)

Kate: Haaah…

Roger: You really are the best. I’ve fallen for you again, Kate.

Kate: ~~!

While my cheeks flushed, I was overjoyed by the fact that Roger returned to his original self.

(That means I can’t lose either)

Kate: Roger.

Roger: Mmm…!

I pulled his head back and kissed him aggressively.

After I pulled away from the warmth, Roger smiled belligerently.

Roger: Thanks for that passionate kiss that almost devoured me. Seems like I never had a dog, but a wild beast or something.

Kate: Hehe, now we’re even.

Roger: That so? I am a “hunter”. If you’re a fierce beast, then I’ll chase you to the ends of the earth so that I can bring you down.

He pulled me back by the back of my neck and our lips met in a kiss much deeper than before.

Kate: Nnnn.

The obscene sounds heard from our lips showed just how intense our kiss was.

I couldn’t breathe as his tongue entwined with mine. My face burned up and my vision blurred.

Roger: You’ve lost.

Kate: Lost?! What contest were we having?

Roger: The one to see who’s the better kisser.

Kate: …!

This egoist started a contest without even telling me. 

Kate: The contest isn’t over yet…

Roger: Nn…Haaa…It’s sloppy, but it feels good. Just kissing you makes me wanna cum.

Kate: That means I win, right?

Roger: Then if I make you come, I win?

Kate: Huh…Nnn

His hot tongue explored my mouth, sending sweet shivers down my spine.

(It feels so good…)

We continued our contest, stealing kisses in an egoistic way—

Just as my mind was about to go blank, Roger suddenly released my lips.

Roger: …

Seeing that smirk on his lips, I realized he was prolonging the contest.

(It’s frustrating…But, I don’t think I’ll ever beat Roger)

Roger: Well, looks like your passionate declaration of love’s woken me up. If you went through all that trouble to save me, then that means I’m needed.

Kate: Tell me what you know. Make it brief if you can.

I unconsciously stared at Roger’s face.

Kate: …

Roger: Hm? What’s up?

Kate: Ah, well… You’re back to your old self, and I was thinking…I’m happy. After all, Roger’s an egoist, proud, and pushes people around!

Roger: Yeah, sure. Is that supposed to be a compliment?

Despite being in a jail cell, we looked at each other and laughed.

(Huh, but…I think I’m forgetting something important?)

…I wouldn’t realize what it was until later.

-

*Too many times. The chapter’s always open so that I can copy and paste from it. Oh, here comes another flashback to that chapter.

Is Ale safe? Is he alright?

[yesimwriting]

Purpose

“This is the fic I talked about here

Summary: Episode 3 was too beautiful for me not to write a fic where bill’s letter makes joel think about reader 

anyways this isn’t an exact recreation of the episode,, it’s more about location and the vibes of the episode

----

The words won’t stop echoing in his head. Again and again, a round of bullets bouncing around in his mind, desperate for a target to pierce. Bill’s letter was written in anything but malice, yet it still manages to pry into Joel, get under his skin the way nothing has in a long time. 

Purpose. Saving, taking care of who’s worth it. The mention of Tess. The way his mind keeps floating to you. 

He shouldn’t. You haven’t been around long enough to even scratch at the surface of what Bill and Frank had. He knows that, but his mind won’t stop weaving the sentiment in Bill’s words to all the bits of you he knows. The tempo of them matches the sound of your laugh, the emotion behind them tethers itself to the tugging feeling that lingers in his chest whenever you tilt your head and look at him with those eyes when pitching something he’d instinctually say ‘no’ to.

It’s never a form of manipulation, either. It’s always teasing, always pushing in good humor, always innocent. You never take advantage, never try to. He doesn’t even think you know that you have that specific look. One person worth saving. 

There’s a soft creaking of floorboards. Joel turns his head instinctually, body stiffening in an instinctual preparation for the worst. Oh. His eyes find you and his stance instinctually eases. “Guys.” You’re more excited than you want to seem, completely unaware of the thoughts in his head. “They have hot water.” 

Ellie recovers faster than he can. For a brief second, Joel feels a pang of something oddly close to jealousy at her ability to interact casually. “No, shit--really?” 

“Really,” you confirm, “Does anyone want the first shower or can I steal it?” 

Turning her head, Ellie briefly looks like she’s considering asking for it instead, but then her eyes flit back to Joel. He’s staring, a little more out of it than she’s yet to see him. There’s something bordering on awkward in the way that he’s watching you. 

Oh. The realization finally hits Ellie. A hot shower would be amazing, but putting it off for a little will definitely be worth this. “I’m okay with that.”

You nod in her direction with a quick mumble of appreciation before turning your eyes to focus on Joel. You’re not doing the plead-y thing. His thoughts swell. Of course you’re just waiting patiently for an answer, genuinely willing to give up the first shower spot that you could have just taken. 

“Joel?” 

Shit. He hasn’t responded. “Ye--” It’s a small sound that’s not quite a word that Joel quickly disguises by clearing his throat. “Yeah, go ahead.” 

Ellie’s eyes are burningly obvious. Even if you didn’t notice, Joel’s never hearing the end of it from that kid. 

You lean against the doorway. “You good?” 

“Fine,” now he’s replying too quickly, “Just--Bill said a lot more to me than he ever has.” Great. His second mistake. The last thing he needed to do was hint at emotion, the one thing guaranteed to sway you away from the promise of a hot shower. “If you ask me about my feelings you’re losing your first shower spot and I’ll run the sink until it’s icy.” 

You cross your arms in front of your chest. “You wouldn’t, Miller.” 

“Try me.” 

He can feel your eyes burn through him, can sense the way you see through his shit. You don’t push, you just straighten your stance, “Fine, you’ll only have that threat until I’m out of that shower.” 

Joel keeps his expression flat. “Plenty of time for me to think of a new one.” 

“Looking forward to it.” 

 When you disappear out of his line of sight, his breathing improves and worsens all at once. Joel curses the ridiculousness of it. Sure, there were certain thoughts when he was around you before the letter, but this is something else. Something he needs to get over fast.

He lets his eyes drop towards Ellie and he takes her grin as the gut punch it is. “I’ve never seen you shy--it’s cute.” 

“Don’t.” 

She doesn’t even have the decency to pretend to be influenced by the gruffness of his voice. “Don’t what?” 

The false innocence in Ellie’s tone isn’t worth engaging with. Joel glares, turning to leave the room before anything else can be said. 

----

Leave it to the end of the world to teach someone how to appreciate the little things. A lifetime of warm showers with a guarantee of water that could hold the temperature long enough for someone to really feel clean and Joel doesn’t think he’s ever understood the world of good a shower could do someone until now. 

You had been diligent, worried about taking up the time and heated water from anyone else, but when you stepped out of the bathroom, hair still wet, Joel practically forgot how to look you in the eye. It’s not that the shower changed you completely, though clean and safe is a good look on you, it’s that it made things feel normal. The kind of normal that would take nothing to slip into and turn to habit.

He had practically ducked out of the room when Ellie told him to go ahead since he so clearly needs a shower more than she does. It felt like the beginning of some kind of scheme, but there was nothing he could say with you in the room. So what if Ellie makes a comment or two? That doesn’t mean she knows anything. It’s not like Joel...he doesn’t. He can’t. Not with you. 

As he showers, he thinks of not thinking. Focuses on dislodging those thoughts from his mind. The echo of Bill’s words hold firm as they merge with memories of you. 

What makes a person worth taking care of so completely? Does the worthiness come from kindness or personal attachment or some natural, intrinsic quality? 

It doesn’t matter. No matter how many times he runs through all the potential categories, Joel knows who always fits it. 

“Well, don’t you look pretty.” Ellie’s voice snaps him out of that train of thought. Before Joel can reply, she turns, “Don’t you think so?” 

You blink, Joel briefly debates locking Ellie in some other room until it’s time to go. You take your time glancing over at him. “Yeah.” It’s been too long since things that mattered in the past have come up for him. He isn’t used to being overly aware of his appearance. The strangeness of it is daunting. “Joel’s the prettiest.” 

A cop out enough answer. It’s an easy way to appease Ellie and keep from turning something casual into something weird. Joel mentally scolds himself for being surprised. What else could he have expected? That you’d immediately jump to describe your opinions on his appearance? 

There’s no way that would have been a particularly good thing. He may not be as aware of his appearance as he was before the world changed, but he knows that he’s both older than you and made up of tattered edges more akin to shards than anything else. 

Ellie starts to approach the doorway. “I’m gonna take a shower.” Maybe that will help Joel regain control of whatever ill timed spiral this is. Removing Ellie’s comments and sideways glances definitely won’t make things worse. “For at least 30 minutes.”

It’s said with a deliberate slowness and Joel can feel heat settle in his face. “Just go.”

She holds her hands up in mock defense before turning and finally leaving. Joel frowns at the realization that his mental tension doesn’t immediately vanish with her. 

You turn casually, “That was weird.” 

“She’s a kid,” he mumbles, “Kids are weird.” 

There’s not that much space between the two of you. A casual distance that could be destroyed by a few steps. It’s an impulse that burrows itself deep beneath his skin. Joel straightens to avoid giving into the need to be closer. 

“Yeah.” It’s a breath, casual and flat. Joel finds himself unexplainably grated by the sound. He’s not the kind of person that dwells on others. Especially not in this way. “You know what’d be fun?” 

Joel swallows at the easy transition. You walk past him and towards the wooden table top. He isn’t sure what your goal is until your fingers bend around a neck of a bottle of wine. There’s something particular about the way the corner of your mouth tugs upwards. Mischievous. 

“I-” He clears his throat again. “I’ve gotta drive.” You say nothing, but that touch of an almost pout and the goddamn head tilt. “We need to stay alert.” 

You let out a sigh, turning the bottle in your hand. “You’re going to get out-of-it drunk off of one glass of wine?” 

He can’t afford anything right now. “You might.”

“You’ve never seen me drink.” 

So much indignation. Joel fights against a grin. You’ve spent most of your adult life in a post-outbreak world. There likely hasn’t been much opportunity for you to build your tolerance. And at this point, he feels like he knows you, and nothing about your personality or general being indicates that you’d be able to handle your alcohol. 

Sure, he doesn’t think you’ll genuinely be drunk after one glass, but he also doesn’t believe you’ll stick to that. A light buzz here wouldn’t be the worst thing, but it’d be inefficient. An additional distraction that Joel is doing his best to keep from.

Joel sighs at the accusatory way you raise your eyebrows. “I can still tell.” 

You roll your eyes. “I should go through with it just because you said that.” He watches you set down the bottle.

The lack of protest hits him harder than it should. It was a small thing to ask for and there was such a genuineness in the way you introduced it. You know what’d be fun? Even your defense was framed innocently. You’ve never seen me drink. Like the whole idea was more about the two of you than the actual drinking. Like you’re friends more than you are just friendly. 

Once again, his mind latches back onto the letter. An element he doesn’t need in the air right now. “Y/n.”

“I said we didn’t have t--” Joel grabs the bottle and takes a quick sip before you can finish your sentence. The immediate half-laugh-half-scoff that follows makes it all worth it. “Classy.” 

He does all he can to keep from smiling, but he isn’t sure he’s fully successful. “Always have been.” 

It’s the stupid kind of joke that you and Ellie would have exchanged a look over. You two would have picked it a part, pointing out the evident laziness of it. Instead of that, you laugh again before pushing away from the counter. He’s still as you walk towards him. 

The entire thing is casual until your eyes meet his. Joel’s body instinctually locks into place. It’s a form of defense, of keeping this moment from shattering. Your hand moves forward slowly--or maybe you’re moving normally and everything just feels slow when you’re focusing on him like that--until it finds the bottle. The tip of your fingers brush against the back of his palm. 

For a second, that’s all that exists. All that matters. You squeeze the bottle and Joel lets you take it. “You know it’s hard to measure a single glass without the actual glass.” 

You set the bottle down and turn your attention towards finding any type of cup. Joel keeps quiet as you find the set of long stemmed wine glasses. You set out two of them and fill them each a little less than halfway. A reasonable amount. A controllable amount. 

Turning back to face him, you hand him a glass. 

“One glass.” 

Nodding once, you pick up your own. “One.” Extending your glass with no warning, you quickly clink them together. A soft cheers. 

----

About three glasses later. 

“...That doesn’t,” laughter, “make--make sense.” 

There’s no slurring, but the small giggles pressed sporadically throughout the single sentence cues Joel in on something he should have taken into consideration about two glasses ago. You’re tipsy. Not drunk or fully out of it, but buzzed in some sense of the word. Buzzed enough to not even pretend to follow on his comment that hadn’t really meant anything. 

Joel sighs, forcing a bit of annoyance into the sound. “Maybe not to you.” 

You pout without reservation. “That’s rude.” 

Reaching around him without any tact, you try to find the bottle. “That’s enough.” 

Joel can deal with how you are now, but any further could be risky. It’s not like the three of you are settling in this house. His hand finds its way to your wrist as you try to squirm back. It takes you less than a minute to still. Joel doesn’t pull away. A second longer. Just to be sure. 

He returns your hand to his side gently, easing you back into place by your wrist. “I’m not drunk.” 

There’s no argument in your voice, no protest or anything that gives any indication of your flat observation. The certainty in your voice settles against Joel’s skin like a second layer. It doesn’t feel like it’s coming from the same person that just couldn’t get through a sentence without being interrupted by a fit of laughter. 

Joel’s chin tilts downwards in a barely there nod that he trusts you to pick up on. “Never said you were.” The realization that he hasn’t let you go yet hits him with no warning. His pointer finger and thumb are still grasping your wrist. It’d be so easy to turn over your hand and let your palms meet. “We should keep it that way.” 

“I trust you.” You breath out the words reluctantly, like you’re annoyed by the truth of it. The casualness of your voice has to prove that you don’t mean anything by it. Smiling almost, you breeze past what you just said. “This is fun. I haven’t gotten wine buzzed sin--” The cut off is jarring, but Joel knows better than to push. “Awhile. Since Ruth.” 

A name that has only ever slipped out from time to time. Joel’s picked up on enough pieces to know that it’s sore subject. “You don’t have to.” 

“I know.” Your eyes feel distant, you’re going somewhere else now. “Ruth was like a grandmother to me. Sweetest old lady, tough as nails, too.” You laugh again, the sound sharply bittersweet. “She didn’t like being handled or taken care of, but she was getting a little older and she--she was developing some kind of early memory issue. One day we got into this warehouse and it was full of wine. So we drank and then...” Eyes practically glazing over, you angle your chin downwards. You wipe at your face with the back of your palm. “I don’t know how I didn’t know. She had been talking about not wanting to live in a world where she couldn’t remember her children or-or take care of herself, and she’d been struggling a little more.” Joel swallows once as you pause. “She waited until I fell asleep. Left a note saying she’d never be a burden.”  

Joel relaxes the fingers wrapped around your wrist and turns his palm outwards. You meet him half way, interlocking your fingers with his. It surprises him more than it should. 

There haven’t been many times in which Joel actively reflected and wished that he could be different in some way. It’s his ability to remain detached and distant from emotions that have allowed him to last. But if he were some other version of himself, he’d be able to say something insightful or sympathetic or maybe even kind. 

But he’s not, so after the second, the only thing he can manage to say is, “Sounds like the kind of person you’d care about.” 

It feels like a wrong reaction, and maybe it would have been for someone else, but you give no indication of being upset. You let out a sad kind of laugh. “You know, now that you mention it you do kind of fill the grumpy, old lady void in my life.” 

The implication of your joke should sting more than it does considering the mess of his train of thought today, but it tugs at something in him instead. “Funny.” 

“Just like Ruth would have said.” 

He sighs, too aware that his expression doesn’t project the right kind of annoyance. You’re smiling again, though, like you’re pressing your lips together to keep from laughing. It’s a reset, knowing that you’re feeling better and that in some way it’s because of him. 

It clicks then. Settles like the world after a storm. Joel understands. It’d be easy to build a life out of protecting someone. He sees how it’s the kind of purpose that can burn away the frayed edges of someone that seems to be made of them. 

“Y/n.” His throat feels dryer than he remembers it being. There’s an uncertainty in where to go next, but you feel the shift the same way he does. Joel sees it in the soft nod of your head. “Y’know what Bill said in his letter?” His eyes flit away from you, “’About purpose and...” 

You were exploring the home when Ellie read the letter, but you had picked it up and read about half of it before Joel took it back. It was a bit petty, but you didn’t press. It’s his business more than yours.

What you had read had gotten to you and you didn’t even know Bill and Frank. It must have Joel, even if he refuses to let it be obvious. “I know it must have been hard to hear, but it--what I did read sounded like a better way to live than most did even before.” The response fits you. Of course you’d see it. “Sorry, that was--that was probably overstepping. They were your...” You hesitate, unsure if friend or associate would be more fitting. “You knew them and--” 

“No,” he breathes, “You’re right.” Joel takes a moment to just look at you, to take in what it feels like to be standing somewhere safe, holding your hand. “It does sound like a good way to be.”

Joel doesn’t know what to take from your reaction. The way your eyes widen just enough to be noticeable. You didn’t expect that level of candor from him, especially not about something so close to feel-y. “You think it’s unrealistic?” 

Your question comes out almost hesitant. It’s the kind of thing you would have never asked if it hadn’t been for the wine. The way you clamp your mouth shut after speaking is evidence enough. 

There’s so much he could say to that, but nothing feels like it’d fit. “Not for you.” 

You smile again but it doesn’t reach your eyes. “It isn’t for you, either.” Eyes briefly dropping, you tact on an almost shy, “If you wanted it. I know you’re...” Tilting your head in that one way that always gets under his skin, you settle on, “Most comfortable with what you know.”

Joel presses his lips together before correcting his expression into something more neutral. The sensation that he’s teetering on something twists at the air in his lungs. “You sayin’ I’m set in my ways?” 

Your amusement feels genuine again, free from whatever had been eroding at it before. His words are another step forward, an attempt at meeting you in the middle. “It’s not a bad thing.” When Joel raises his eyebrows, you let out a sigh. “You’ve said worse about me.”

He fights down a grin. “Doesn’t sound like me.” 

“Yeah, you’re a damn sweetheart.”

This time Joel lets himself react in the form of what’s almost a laugh. “That’s more like it.” Your eyes soften and there’s a warmth there that Joel doesn’t know how to hold onto. It melts at a part of him he didn’t think existed. It’s dangerous, more risky than the wine. “Do you think you’d--you want that?” 

You blink and Joel can find no way to blame you for your hesitance. The question was blurted out so haphazardly, so unlike what it is and now it’s looming over the both of you. 

Your mind is racing in a way you can’t justify. It’s not the question, but the way it came out of Joel, coated in a layer of hesitance that practically felt nervous in a way that doesn’t suit him. “Yeah.” The single syllable is so low it almost feels like a secret. “I--I think I do.” It’s surprising to you. “You said it yourself--it’s a good way to be. I’m sure for some people, it’d even be peaceful.” 

Joel’s jaw briefly locks at that last part. “And if it’s someone that can’t give you that last part?” 

The hollowness of the question startles you out of your initial reaction. The words alone would have been fine if they felt less raw. Your mind can’t wrap around them this way. “I uh--I’d probably be the unpeaceful one.” You don’t think you can describe it in a way that anyone would understand. “Caring about anyone that openly and trusting them to do the same...I don’t think I’d be a natural at that.” 

You don’t want to dwell on your words or the honesty of them, so you move on the only way you can think to: “What about you?” 

He should have known that you’d ask. He should have thought through some kind of response that wouldn’t leave him exposed. Then again, maybe that was the point of leading you here. Bill and Frank were here one day and now they’re not. 

“Y/n...” You’re silent, waiting patiently for the end of his sentence. There’s so much to say that none of it can come out. It traps itself in his throat. Too much about the day he first met you, the first time he heard you laugh, the first night when Ellie fell asleep with her head on your shoulder, the fact that knowing you’re okay could fix practically anything. “I don’t know why I’m still here and I’m not too sure Bill was right about me, but I...” The words jam in on themselves and Joel takes it as an opportunity to drag his thumbs across your knuckles like this might be his last chance to do so. “I think you might be part of it.”

The lack of immediate response twists at his stomach. Joel moves to take his hand back and at the last second you snap back into reality. You squeeze his hand, pulling him back towards you. “Joel...” You’re watching him so intently Joel needs to do something. He steps forward. “Are you--are you saying--” 

Sometimes action comes more naturally than words. Joel knows that, knows the familiarity of jumping into something when there’s nothing left. He moves his hand up your arm and settles it on your shoulder. His other hand brushes against your cheek. He pauses long enough to give you a chance to protest. You don’t. 

Closing the distance between you is a snap of everything into place. He can’t remember the last time something felt so natural. You melt into him, fitting into place like you’ve always been there. 

You’re warm enough to melt through all of his reservations. Joel places a hand on your side, pulling you even closer. It could be an eternity or it could only be a few seconds. You start pulling back first, Joel chases after you, grazing his teeth against your bottom lip.

You move back only enough to breathe, but you can’t bring yourself to let go of him. “Joel.” You want to tell him you get it now and that you agree. That you’d come back to this again and again. That he’s your purpose. “It’s you.” 

It’s the only thing you can say, but that’s okay. You trust him to understand.

----

Taglist: @ciniluv

[artsandstoriesandstuff]

I don't know if you have done this before, but, could you show (or name) all the robosleuths characters? :D Not only main characters, by "all" I mean A L L

And also, could you talk about some unfinished/discarded characters? If there are, of course

Would you believe it but I had typed out a whole response… only for the page to reload and for all my words to be lost.

I’ll just name as many as I can since I don’t want it all to disappear again. I hope you don’t mind. :(

Robot Detectives

Enid

Lou

Leroy

Nathaniel

Moe

Bebe

Lois

Pete (technically)

I would, of course, like to add more to this list, but I don’t want to go overboard.

Antagonists

Rodney

Veronica

Monica

Scrap Group (TBH)

Tony Marksman

Gunner

CEO Lady

Side Characters

I don’t remember too many but I’ll try my best.

Cathy

Alice

Felicity

Helen

Jim

Emmie

Susie

Minnie

Violet

Sam

Ned

Cathy (may change)

Pete (still counts as a side character for right now of course)

Donald

Noodle & Stu

Sonny Daytime

Sonny Daytime’s Wife (this is a gag. Also I can’t come up with a name)

Lucy

Housewife lady (Carol??)

Charlotte

Manny

Dottie? (Manny’s unnamed friend. I didn’t come up with her name yet.)

Manny’s neglectful parents

Rodney’s mom

Gus

Cecil (Enid’s brother!)

I am definitely missing at least a few. Will update.

I do have a few scrapped character ideas… while I won’t talk about all of them now here are a few, along with some old sketch pages:

The lady with the ponytail in the top right corner of the first page was supposed to be Enid’s bartender who also doubled as her therapist, in a way. She had the one eye (some of y’all may actually remember) and she might have been originally Rodney’s sister?? Either way I didn’t know if she was too time accurate, and I also didn’t know what to do with her layer in the story, so i scrapped her.

Also, Veronica's original character concept, Roxie, is probably completely gone from her now. I gave that entire concept (character design similarities and all) the Monica.

And, finally, to drop a little bit of lore (and kinda spoilers!!) here, Lou was intended to be pure robot that developed feeling over the story. Then after I made him part human, like Enid, he was then simply going to be unimportant. But now his human version is one of, if not the, most important characters in the series…

(but I will clarify: his human version was NOT the CEO/main villain. She’s still around, anyway.)

tagging the usual: @papercutzo @esteebarnes94 @the-ellia-west

And if you’ve made it this far, I gotta know:

This doesn’t guarantee I’ll expand it, and even then it may just be a few more, but I want to see if it’s a possibility you all would want. :)

[archiveikemen]

"Wrapped in Wicked Romance" Story Event: Epilogue

Liam Evans

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

The Liam in front of me was a version of himself I didn't know of.

Liam: … What did I do wrong… let me think. Let me think…

Liam: …

Liam: Ahh, did I do a bad job at being your boyfriend?

(... What?)

Liam: If that's the case—

Liam grabbed me by my wrist and pinned me down onto the bed.

(!?)

Looking down at me, Liam flashed me an almost dangerous smile.

Liam: Let’s redo this “lovers” thing.

Kate: … Liam?

Liam: Lovers… ah, that’s right. I heard somewhere that “lovers are supposed to make love to each other”...

Liam: Making love… that’s pretty serious to me, but…

Liam: I’m good at making people feel good.

(What the…)

Liam kissed my cheek while restraining my arms with one hand.

(... Why?)

His lips moved from my cheek to my neck, before trailing down to my collarbones.

Kate: … Liam. Please stop.

Liam: Is this… not enough? It’s okay, I won’t make another mistake this time.

Liam’s hand undid the strings at the back of my blouse and pulled it down to my abdomen.

My undergarment was pulled down as well and my breasts spilled out.

Kate: … Liam. What’s gotten into you, Liam?

No matter how many times I called out to him, he kept going as if he couldn't hear me.

We’re so close, but it's like he can’t see me.

Paying no mind to my bewilderment, his lips moved to my chest and sucked on my nipple.

Kate: Aah…

Liam: Oh—... it became more pointed, does it feel good? That’s good… so this is the right way to do it?

Liam: I’ll lick this one too…

He kept on licking my breasts. Even though I didn't want it, my body grew hotter and I couldn't control the noises I was making.

Liam: … Hey, let’s keep doing things that feel good.

Liam: I can definitely make you feel much more pleasure if we go all the way.

My breathing was ragged, I desperately looked into Liam’s eyes.

His eyes looked so sad that even I felt sad looking at them.

(... It’s like he’s desperately trying to run away from something scary.)

= Flashback Start =

Liam: I understand. Sometimes, sleeping can get… scary.

Liam: … It feels like you’re being chased by a shadow that won't go away. And being forced to face something you don't want to.

= Flashback End =

(I don’t know what Liam is afraid of, or what he’s trying to run from.)

But there was one thing clear to me.

Liam was a kind person, and if he ever got handsy with me in that way, he would definitely feel hurt when he comes back to his senses.

(Please. Pull yourself together.)

Kate: Liam…!

I lightly clapped his cheeks between my hands—

Liam: !

A reflection of myself was seen in those empty eyes.

Liam: Uh… uhm…

Liam: I…

Liam: I’m sorry, Kate. … I’m so, so, so sorry.

Liam: I… I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to make things right…

Liam covered my body with his jacket and bit his lips.

Liam: … I should stay away from you for now. I’m going to disappear.

Liam: I’ll offer you my most sincere apology again another time. … I’m sorry.

Kate: Liam…!

Liam’s body vanished in the blink of an eye and I eventually couldn't sense his presence anywhere.

I unconsciously cast my eyes downwards as I layed alone on the messy sheets.

(Liam. … Just what kind of darkness is haunting your heart?)

…

The next day, while I was doing my work as a fairytale writer, I found myself often having Liam on my mind.

(I want to speak to Liam.)

(But I still don’t know what to say to him.)

As I was walking down the stairs on my way to the royal court where Victor was—

Liam: Kate!

Kate: … Liam.

Liam dashed up the stairs, looked at me, and smiled.

Liam: Oh thank goodness, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.

Liam: Kate, look.

Liam: I got it back.

— In Liam’s hand was the hair accessory I gave him.

Kate: Wasn’t this with the police?

Kate: How on earth did you…

Liam: I sneaked into the police station. That was nerve wracking.

(... He snuck in.)

That was no different from jumping into the enemy’s stronghold unarmed.

Kate: One wrong move and you could've been arrested…!

Kate: Being arrested is one thing, but it's worse if you—

Liam: But I can't apologise to you without this.

Kate: … What?

Liam: I’ll never lose it again. I’ll listen to you and make sure I don't make any more mistakes.

Liam: … I don't want to hurt you. That’s all I want you to know.

It was so pure, like a child trying to make friends for the first time.

A very twisted wish.

He shined brightly like a star, but had a huge darkness lurking in his heart.

I had a feeling that one day, his heart would be swallowed whole by that darkness.

(But for some reason… I can’t bear to leave him alone.)

(What is this feeling?)

Kate: … Liam.

I tightly grasped the hair accessory.

Kate: Let’s call it even, okay?

Liam: … Mm-hmm.

Liam flashed me a cheerful smile.

That smile kind of… made me want to tear up.

[bohemian-nights]

If nettles was a white girl like Alys, dumbyra fans wouldn’t say shit. Look at laena and daemon regardless of them being married in the books they hated the fact of them being together in the show and how they did there relationship was disgusting. I was really irked on how daemon and Rhaenyra had sex in the most disrespectful way like Laena was just laid to rest and she found if a way to get with her uncle!! Then disappeared for 6 years from court and act’s surprised that the hightowers and vaemond are plotting against them like YOU’VE DONE NOTHING BUT POP OUT BABIES FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS!!!!! I can’t stress how much I hate the whole Daemon loves Rhaenyra more than anything, if he loves her sooo much why did he do the following

1) steal her dead baby brother’s egg

2)called himself the “rightful heir” to the throne after she was named heir

3)called her dead brother “heir for a day”

4) left her to fight in the stepstones and ignored her for years

5) almost ruined her reputation by taking her to a brothel

6)left her alone at night in the most dangerous place in kings landing

7)left her again during her wedding where she almost got trampled

8)undermines her during the plot to take kings landing

9) ignores her calls during her labor

10) ignores her call to come back to kings landing

11) he literally chokes her when he finds out that Viserys never thought of him as heir

Like they gaslight themselves into believing that this is okay, it’s not

Now I do understand the age difference between nettles and daemon is very important she’s 17 and he’s 49 but I think that they are more healthier relationship. I feel that nettles is more patient with daemon and they have better communication, she’s not afraid to tell daemon like “hey you do realize that this is fucked up” and he grows more as a person with her. Nettles isn’t spoiled and doesn’t like to be spoiled much and daemon likes that. Rhaenyra can act like a baby sometimes and it annoys him when she gets like that.

Sorry for the big rant but I know when nettles is casted and when we see her actor she’s gonna get hate from people WHO SHIP AN UNCLE WHO GROOMED HIS FUCKING NIECE. I’m going to war for my girl Nettles.

This wasn’t a rant, this was a read👏🏽 I honestly think that if Nettles were white(hell if she were actually non-Black like how they try to insist she is because they don’t want a Negro with Daemon) then a good portion of these racist stans would have jumped ship already.

Dumbnyra has always been a disaster of a ship(in the show and the books which 99% weren’t shipping this trash until said show).

There were glaring red flags from the get-go (the 1st “romantic moment” Rhaenyra is underage), but because they are self-inserting (this includes the weirdo self-haters who are fine with throwing other “WOC” under the bus to live out their Aryan obey me or I’ll nuke you fantasies) into her and can’t relate to anyone who isn’t white they are holding onto this Titanic of a ship for dear life.

I'm glad you mentioned Alys. People may hate her now, but the moment she shows up on screen and interacts with Aemond I can guarantee that most of that hate(which is mostly from Hellmann's shippers who only like their insane crackship that they pretend is canon because it’s a self insert ship) will fade away.

With Alys there, who’s also white and is Aemond’s actual love interest, Helaena won’t be needed anymore. So they’ll drop her faster than a hot cake, do a 180, say who’s Helaena, and ole girl will become the new self-insert.

That’s not going to be the case for Nettles(and yeah sadly her actress is going to get a lot of hate so prayers to her).

If you guys don’t believe us literally go pull up any fandom with a Black woman as a love interest and see the bullsh*t and excuses that are written.

Every single time the actresses get verbally attacked(they get called literal racial slurs see Candice Patton-The Flash), the showrunners do them, and their characters(Kat Graham-Vampire Diaries and Nicole Beharie-Sleepy Hollow), the fans of said characters and ships get attacked(this fandom is already starting it), and there are a million and one think pieces on how her character “doesn’t need a man” or how the ship she’s in isn’t “good for her”(all while these same people excuse actual abusive relationships like Dumbnyra).

People always say oh it isn’t about race it’s actually about xyz, but if every time you are complaining when you see a Black woman as the love interest, yeah it’s about race🤷🏽‍♀️ You guys don’t like seeing Black women in romantic relationships especially with your faves. It’s the same song and dance and now they are doing it with Nettles under the guise of “caring.”

If you ship Dumbnyra(and I’ve seen several of these shippers drawing art that’s supposed to be romantic where Rhaenyra is a literal child) and then fix your mouth to say Daemon and Nettles relationship is somehow bad for Nettles and that people promoting it want Netty to be abused (translation: I don’t want my self insert to be left for a Black girl, but I can’t come out and say that so I’ll just pretend to care about this Black girl when I’m actually cheering on for her to be axed or played by a white woman, yes I’ve seen some of these ignorant people want Nettles to be white because the Velaryons were made Black🙃).

The dynamic between Daemon and Nettles isn’t anything like Daemon and Rhaenyra. The only thing they’ve got in common is that Nettles is young and even then she’s technically an adult and she’s probably going to be aged up to be Laena’s book age in the show. The moment that happens they’ll find some new excuse(I don’t want Nettles to look like a ho knowing damn well their self insert was out their chasing after a freshly widowed man and they cheered it on) why Daemon and Nettles shouldn’t happen.

Yeah, they did have a much healthier relationship and Daemon grows from his time with her(something he never did with Rhaenyra). He grows enough to put her ahead of everyone including his wife’s rule and his own safety(which is what Nettles deserves), but we are lost in the sauce. 100% it’s protect Nettles over here 🙌🏽

[dashrgpx]

Adriana’s POV (pure and none of that other stuff just true care for each-other)

I sat outside of Ashley’s backyard just getting some air she was having a get together all our friends and their partners were over I don’t really have a partner but I am the girls friend So. Lately I’ve been having writers block and can’t quite seem to come up with anything for our new up coming album after also suffering a vocal hemorrhage and going into surgery not knowing if I would be able to ever sing the same again all while fans have waited through the recovery and recording process and I can’t seem to deliver and it’s really starting to frustrate me.

Pablo’s POV

I was at Ashley’s house with Pedri’s who’s dating Natalia I came because most of the guys from the team are also here . After a while I realized Adriana had slowly disappeared from the group I wondered what was going on she’s been extra quiet lately and I mean she’s usually quite but she zones out more on us I mean I made fun of her hair and boots today and although she usually has a salty comeback today she didn’t have one I decided I was thirsty so I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water when I see Adriana outside in Ashley’s backyard “hola que haces “ I said to her she just turned and saw it was me and turn back to where she was looking at before “hey Pablo “ she replied “what’s going on Adriana” I said to her to which she chuckled and said “huh never thought you would ever actually ask me if I was okay considering you hate me and all” to which I said “cmon Adriana I like to mess with you see you mad but I don’t wish miserable on you “ to which she chuckled again “I can’t write for my life Pablo I mean I’ve tried everything to get me back in that studio in hopes I’ll sing the same “ I said practically almost letting a sob out “I don’t understand Adriana your an amazing writer I’ve never ever seen struggle in all of the two years I’ve known you but what’s all this of not singing the same “ he said and that’s when it hit me the girls never told anyone of my vocal recovery surgery “Pablo there reason our tour has been on hold as well as our album is because I suffered a vocal hemorrhage and had to get surgery then recovery but see I haven’t even attempted to sing in fear it just won’t be the same “ I said finally letting out the sob I didn’t even know I was holding in

Pablo’s POV

man it broke me to see her cry and so vulnerable all of the years that I’ve known Adriana she’s never ever showed such hard emotions she’s a hard shell to crack to see her just break down in front of me made my heart take over rather then my senses and I reached to embrace her and she just cried into my chest “you’ll sing again you just have to believe it Adriana trust me if I continue this whole painful process of trying to heal my knee knowing that even if I do heal it’s not guaranteed that I’ll play the same ever again just to give up i would be disappointing everyone in my life but most importantly myself and my younger self that all it took for me to give up was one little injury not you Adriana you have a stronger mindset then that you’ll do it because of those girls in there they are your friends and your fans you wish to bring everyone pride but you have to bring yourself pride as well “ I said my hand on the back of her head and I kiss the top her head and she took her head out of my chest to look up at me “ Pablo your so talented please don’t ever give up on football it’s your dream I’ve never meet someone so in love with the game I mean the way you take about it shows just how fascinated and mesmerized you are by it “ we just stared at eachother “yk those girls will inspire you always they are your family” Pablo said smiling “and now so are you” she said giggling and he did as well “thanks gavi that all really meant a lot truly “ to which he relied “just so you know I don’t hate you “ she said and they both walked back inside.

The next week

We had just won against Madrid and I was walking back to the lockers when I hear “Gavii!” And I turn around “hola Adriana” I said “yk that talk we had the other night Gavi your like my muse now I went home and just started writing and made what would become Spotify’s top song “ she said laughing so excited “god adriana you did the damn thing “ I said also laughing “I know I did it we did it “ she said laughing and hugs me “yea I guess we did” and hugged her back .

I have an idea of how to continue this story but should I ?

[holly-louisexox]

Ribcage X Andy Biersack- Part 9

Masterlist

"There's one thing you should know about me Delia Vincent, I don't date. Got no heart to break and emptiness is safe, keep it that way."

He was adamant in his choices...

...But then things changed.

Not my GIF

"You so would have been impressed by my ballet skills." Delia laughs as she and Andy walk through the hotel towards where the rooms were; they were rather lucky in the case that everyone had a room in the same area of the hotel.

"Still on about the ballet?" Andy shakes his head trying to conceal his grin. "I'll ask you about that when you're sober, I guarantee you won't want to show off your moves then."

"Fuck! I left my key in Shevy's bag!" Delia curses turning back to face Andy after having realised her key was not in her jacket pocket.

"Fuck sake Delia! How could you be so stupid?" Andy groans before instantly catching his chill. "It's fine, there's a sofa in my room, I'll just take that. Come on."

"Don't flatter yourself Andy, you wouldn't be the first guy I've shared a bed with and it not be romantic." Delia scoffs slightly as she follows Andy to his room.

"You're the one who said it was a shame I'm attractive cause I'm massive dickhead." Andy shakes his head again whilst feeling that same slight smile pull at his lips; he'd be lying if he said these couple of weeks hadn't changed how he feels about people, Delia standing her ground against him definitely shook him a little. It's not that he wanted people to be scared of him or not bother with him but no one in the band had really stood up against him, just kind of got on with it and that allowed Andy the chance to wallow in his anxieties and sadness in the hopes that they would disappear eventually

"And it wasn't a lie." Delia grins before scrunching her face up as she realises her outfit. "Do you have a shirt I can borrow? If I sleep in this dress a tit will most likely fall out and nobody wants to see that."

"Oh, erm, yeah. Yeah I do, I'll grab you one." Andy replies in shock; Andy knew he was socially awkward but when he was around Delia it was a whole other level, probably because of how annoying he always found her but he had agreed to be civil so civil is what he will be. "Here."

"Thanks... Erm, would you mind turning around please?" Delia's grin turns awkward, Andy wasn't the only one who now felt the sudden tension in the room.

"Oh, yeah, yeah sure." Andy stutters slightly before turning around allowing Delia to change; honestly he didn't understand why she couldn't change in the bathroom, same time it was probably a good thing in case she fell and hurt herself or something.

"Okay I'm good." Delia informs Andy making him turn around to see her placing her now folded dress on the back of the little chair in the room before she throws herself backwards onto the double bed. "Is it weird that I love hotel beds? I feel like they're always more comfortable, like sleeping on a cloud or something."

"I can't say I've ever thought about it." Andy replies trying not to stare at the girl in his shirt. Sure he found Delia to be very pretty but she was also very annoying, he had to remember that part. plus with this tour things were already awkward. "You sure you don't want me on the sofa?"

"Don't make a mole hill mountain." Delia grumbles before climbing under the duvet.

"The saying is 'don't make a mountain out of a mole hill', a mole hill mountain makes no sense." Andy finally lets the laugh he'd been hiding for so long slip which also makes Delia burst out laughing.

"Oh yeah! That's what I meant!" Delia looked as if she was close to tears at this point.

"Right, well I'm gonna change. I'm gonna go to the bathroom to do so, just so, you know, whatever." Andy stutters again; what was wrong with him when it change to this annoying member of the team?

"Sure, you do you boo." Delia calms before pulling the duvet over herself more.

Once Andy walks out of the bathroom after changing out of his jeans to a pair of more suitable trousers to sleep in, he sees Delia sound asleep. which causes that same small smile to form on his face- this was 100% the effect of the alcohol he had been drinking earlier that night, there's no way he would find someone so insufferable attractive.

Shaking away his thoughts Andy awkwardly climbs into the bed next to Delia trying to ensure there was room in between the two of them- this did not need to be anymore awkward then it already was.

"Delia? What are you doing?" Andy asks the girl, who was not completely asleep, after she decided that she was actually going to ruin the whole leave space plan Andy had subconsciously by cuddling into Andy's side.

"I'm cold. You're warm. So I snuggled." Delia mutters half asleep.

"Oh." Was all that Andy was able to get out before he heard soft snores coming from Delia.

There was absolutely nothing that should be pulling Andy to Delia right now. Sure she was very pretty but the two of them clashed like fire and ice, nothing would work and would end in disaster, Andy knew this. So why was he suddenly drawn to this fiery girl sleeping next to him? Andy made himself a promise that after his divorce with Juliet he wouldn't allow himself to get close to anyone like that again because it was easier. That was a promise that was suddenly becoming hard to stick to, but regardless, he was determined to stick to it.

After all, for his own sanity he had to....

...Right?

[mysteriousanderfels]

Script for a DMC 6 plotline

The following is a plot idea for a sequel to Devil May Cry 5.

Dante/Vergil 

First time writing in this fandom. I kept it simple because the bar has already been raised far high by a certain antarctic writer, so I decided to just write it like a script, the way it came in my head. not much description, paraphrase, metaphores etc...

Only one thing worth mentioning : References to the work Parousia by Auntarctica. Heavily inspired by story setting from there which made me really happy to follow through as I consider Parousia as my personal unofficial sequel to dmc5. Other references and winks to her works are also sprinkled in here. ‘Cause she’s my secret muse and it just… makes me happy to have shadows of her works in my first dmc scribble.)

It’s been four weeks since our return from the Underworld. Yes. Our. I returned back eventually, and made sure my brother was in tow. 

I hadn’t given him a choice anyway. It was either that or it would be a fight to the death, but I will not leave Vergil here again. I’d rather die. I was already half-dead ever since I lost him anyway, so it would’ve been just a technicity. 

But Vergil was alive - resurrected - in flesh and blood and not in obsidian armor and I will bring him back with me or fucking die trying. 

Thankfully, Vergil had not been averse to the idea which I had coated in an umpteen challenge and laced  with my devil may care shtick.

“If I win this round brother, you’re coming back home with me.”

Vergil had smiled - that discreet little pull of the lips that counted as a smile if you were versed in Vergil Theology - and I almost lost that round ‘cause he kept flashing me that twitch of his lips when the stakes were high for me this time around.

And although it had been a draw in the end, Vergil had sketched another illusive smile and with a profound sigh, had said ‘Let us go, Dante. I would like a change of scenery.’

It’s been four weeks now. It’s nearly not close enough to make up for the twenty four years I spent aching but mercifully, the impending glacier between us had been broken the same the night of our return.

After the awkward tension that had leadened the air between us while each took a long-merited shower, and after I offered Vergil my bed for the night, him declining and I insisting, after I had to watch his retreating back about to get up the staircase and out of my sight - out of sight without any guarantee that he won’t fuckin’ disappear come the next day - I had dropped my bottle of Jack and leaped from the couch to collide with my returned-to-me brother’s back. 

Tears that inspired the name of my shop fell down again for the same reason they had that baleful day - I cried more later - and I’d said all that I’d been dying to from the moment Vergil’s real body had appeared and turned his head to gaze at his surroundings in slow dispassion.

In that embrace alone, his back against my chest, we had rekindled our past history that we both thought the other had severed after all this time severed from each other.

This peculiar history between us of consanguinity and comorbidity because we are twins but also half devils, so we love each other but also not like the others - this sui generis history of the sacred and the profane.

So I’ll say we hadn’t wasted any time in consecrating our reunion.

I won’t even call it fucking what we’re doing. It’s something more ravenous and at the same time more intimate than fucking itself. 

It’s something I’ve not felt in years and never will with someone else - and I know Vergil is the same. It’s something lopsided that satisfies and gratifies both our human and devil souls. 

I will never have something better than my dear brother; returned in the most sublime form of his prime like a divine phoenix.

He’s my twin - nah, I'm his twin, as he'd sure correct me - my other half in the womb and my whole in the years that had followed.

I’m relaxing in the bathtub right now - unusually without his company. He had wished to make something on his own for dinner and who am I to deny him this humanly-mundane task. 

Truth is, I’m secretly into everything that draws Vergil to stupid, earthly things; even as far as simple, honest sleeping. Fuck, I think to myself, smiling. I’m soo far gone. 

Now, although Vergil isn’t in my peripheral vision right now, you’d say it’s been four weeks already. 

No.

Four weeks isn’t enough for me. We may have thoroughly talked, made love, made promises, and gone outside from time to time, but four weeks is not enough to heal a twenty four years gaping wound.

But Vergil wants to cook something good.

For us. 

It’ll be a first. Usually we order home something good. 

So Vergil had asked me to go take a bath while he’d start on things and I said yes like I often do to anything my twin brother asks of me nowadays.

But I get it; it’s Vergil’s way of saying ‘I’d like some time on my own while I get reacquainted with this exercise.’

That’s why I’m currently alone in my bubble bath, unable to suppress the smirk from my lips as I dip back and pick out every minute of these last four weeks and bask in how everything is just… all right, now.

It's aaall finally all right…

Until a loud crash is heard and it’s not. 

I freeze for a second. 

I think maybe I heard wrong but there’s no maybes when it comes to the twin half of me, so I straighten up—and there’s definitely no maybes when another loud thud reaches my ears.

Something seizes my heart in a powerful clutch and I recognize what it is. It's the fear. The Vergil-connected fear—the only kind that really attains me.

I leap from my clawfoot tub in a frenzy of splashed water and barrels down the hallway and the stairs. 

I think I call out for Vergil but I don’t in reality. My vocal chords are congested by my heart which has lodged itself between them - in fuckin’ fear. 

at the three-quarts of the staircase, I pause to sweep the first floor with my eyes. 

It’s odd that it’s so poorly lit but I sense Vergil’s presence to my right, leaning against the wall, so I leap sideways over the balustrades, naked and dripping soap but who cares, there’s Vergil.

“Vergil!” I hear myself this time now that he's in front of my fucking eyes, subconsciously realizing that I’m definitely not ready to let him out of my line of sight, yet. 

“Dante,” Vergil says and his voice is breathless. Wait—his voice is breathless and he’s sweeping at a cut in his lip.

What the fuck?

I touch his cheek to reassure him - and myself - and whirl around, putting myself between him and the rest of the room. The whole picture is probably a knee-slapper as I summon my sword, butt-naked with soap bubbling over my body and hair. I’d be the first to let out a good laugh—if it had been anybody else behind me. 

The room is plunged in practical darkness which I don’t get as Vergil surely hadn’t been hanging around in the dark, but the streetlamp seeping through the blinds helps and I eyeball my office, having no trouble finding the silhouette of the intruder. I’m quick to call out a “Hey, didn't your mother teach you to knock before entering?” 

It’s a demon, alright, but looking like any I’ve encountered before. I can see large horns curling upward, connected to the geometrics of a blackened face, and seemingly clad in heavy armor. 

“Dante,” I hear Vergil call my name behind me again, his voice pressed and strained. He touches my shoulder and makes me turn my face toward him. 

“Focus.” 

“Yeah, I’m more than focused, Verge, I’m pissed,” I say with swag and grit. But my brother grabs me by the neck and presses me further with piercing eyes.

“No, Dante. Focus. Deeply,” he says again, and his solid hand on my neck does ground me as I frown in question. 

So I pause for a beat, looking into those - gray shards of moonlight - eyes unmoving, doing as I’m told—and that’s when I sense it. 

My blood. 

It’s—acting up—but not in the way it does with Vergil.

Vergil makes my blood flutter. It’s a reverberating tingle I always wish I could reach down and scratch until it becomes a rash—but I can’t; that’s another reason why I need my brother. He has the technique and the remedy that leaves me both rash-free and blissed out. the best win-win deal in the world.

No, my blood isn’t pleasantly tingling that way.

It’s chanting.

I don’t understand. I never felt this way before. It’s like there’s a choir caroling inside a church and my blood is both alarmed and elated like priests before the rapture.

I turn around, face the demon standing still in my office and that’s when he opens his demon mouth. What comes out is a rumble so deep it feels like it’s coming from the bowels of hell. 

“And Dante.”

“...”

“My sons.”

…

Something happens next, but I can’t exactly remember because I black out.

…

…

I wake up on the ground. 

I’m still stark naked, still on the first floor of my shop - next to my couch and coffee table now. 

I stir and groan immediately. Fuck, I’m hurt - and the moment I realize that, my mind snaps and my heart lurches. Is Vergil hurt— “V—Vergil?!”

But my brother is lying beside me. And he seems unconscious, too.

I’m seizing with fear again as I wriggle close to him and I can’t believe what’s going on. My limbs feel so fatigued I can only wriggle to my brother’s side?!

I cradle his face in my hands and I lean close. “Vergil. Vergil, wake up.”

He doesn’t. He doesn’t and his lip is cut and he has a couple of scratches now. I don’t remember those?! Am I bruised, too?

What in the fucking hell?!

“Vergil!” I call out again, panicked by the second. He’s breathing, I can see it, but the fuck that’s not enough! “Vergil, for fuck’s sake, wake up. Please— Verge—”

He stirs, at last. I kiss his soft lips and nuzzle my nose against his, feeling both our healing kicking in between my hands. fucking finally.

“Vergil, are you okay?” 

“Nnh… Dante…”

“I’m here, I’m here, Verge. What the hell happened?”

Vergil tries to rise, slowly leaning on his elbows as he frowns deeply and his mouth curls into a mix of both pain and disdain. “Dante…” he grits as his eyes harden. “he took our swords.”

I don’t understand. “What?”

Vergil seems to be still in a haze, reliving something in the loam of his mind, making me realize I've missed a good chunk of the shebang. “He took our swords…” he repeats, then finds my eyes and hisses, “He took them back.”

I’m stunned by his side and I don’t dare to move a finger as I let what my brother’s telling me reach the high levels of my brain. I want to utter another ‘what’ but I’m too stunned and I guess slightly afraid by this point to ask for more clarifications. 

“I tried… to stop him… He said he needed them; that in this way, we would stay out of it…”

“Hold on a second. Hold on a fuckin’ second, who's ‘he’?” 

Vergil stares at me.

“You don’t mean… what that demon said before… what he called us…”

Vergil falls quiet. Somehow he looks more pissed than anything. Well, I ought to be pissed, too, of course, but I’m more dumbstruck and horrified right now. Oh I’ll have time to be pissed, don’t worry.

“Yes, brother, it appears that it was our father who came for a visit.”

I know what my brother is saying; I register the sentence but on a surface-level. The meaning and the implications though, elude me in that moment.

I have so many things that ripple at the forefront of mind, so many questions and exclamations I want to articulate; and while I cast about with open eyes and mouth, my brother is sailing different waters.

He’s gazing somberly at the ground between us, his face twisted in a way I haven’t seen in four weeks. And here I thought nothing will ever be able to slash my brother’s features in daunting outlines anymore.

“Vergil… that can’t be,” I say as I try to temper the storm casting upon his beautiful face. “Everyone believes he’s dead.” 

“How do you explain what happened then?”

“I don't know what happened. What exactly happened?” 

“You charged but he seized you with some invisible force and you were tossed aside. He said… he didn’t wish to fight us…” Vergil looks at me then and his voice ripples like a lake hit by a pebble, “and that he was proud of us…” 

Oh fuck.

So this is real. This can be. 

“Father’s… alive.” Even if I say it in a whisper, I need to voice it out at some level to grasp the full blow of its meaning.

Vergil echoes my whisper, “... He was alive in all these decades I spent in torture…”

I raise my head to look at him when I feel the icy gloom encompassing the air between us.

I take Vergil in my hands, touches his neck to remind him that he has my love and his arm to remind him that my strength is also his, and I tell him, “He has a lot to answer for, that’s for fuckin’ sure. But he can’t hurt us anymore. As long as we have each other, nothin’ can, remember.”

Vergil lifts his pools of crystalline gray slowly. I’m waiting for his reply; I feel like it’s gonna be either something sweet or something bitter - but nothing comes. He just looks at me with a look that wrenches at my heart and leaves me barren and powerless like that day on the precipice of my waking nightmare.

I can’t stand looking at sorrow in Vergil’s eyes anymore—I wish I could erase that word from the encyclopedia of his mind and soul for the rest of his life. So I take him in my arms and face the other way. “We’ll get back at him, brother. We have a score to settle now.” 

Vergil softly scoffs, then, and that breathy exhale is enough to free the tangle in my throat.

His hand finally finds my jaw.  “Brother mine, you are as charming as you are naked,” he allots softly and lets himself be cradled in my arms. 

“Glad you like it,” I quip back. “And where’s your apron?”

Vergil hangs his head on my damp shoulder and stays quiet.

We stay in the quiet and in each other’s arms for a time. 

“He took back our swords… his own legacy to us,” murmurs Vergil.

“... Did he say why?” I ask quietly.

“Only that he needed them for the time being.”

“For the time being? Does that mean he intends on givin’ ‘em back?”

“He said it will be a way for us to stay out of it.” 

I frown. “Out of what?” 

“I don’t know, brother.” 

“This is really weird, Verge.”

“A lifetime since he hasn't seen us… and he doesn’t spare a single explanation…” Vergil mutters, almost to himself.

I feel for my brother heavily at this moment. Vergil… has always been more attuned to our father’s creed. Dad had given him the Yamato as his firstborn. He thrusted him with the well-being of our family.

Vergil wanted to finish what our dad started with Mundus.

Our father’s nature, weapons and deeds are his whole legacy. I don’t feel it that intensely for me, but I understand it the more Vergil opens up about it - after all, I’m not the one our dad took by the shoulders and entrusted our well-being to. Four weeks are not enough to teach me how to let my brother out of my line of sight but it’s plenty enough hours and minutes for painful confessions and confidences.  

“Vergil.”

Vergil gazes up at me, his gray eyes as transparent as the anguish eating at him.

“Right now, I’m finally at peace. As long as I have you, I don’t care if the world is falling apart. So tell me, brother. What do you want us to do?”

My brother watches me silently for a minute but I can see in his flickering pool of grays that he’s thinking, wondering, calculating and mapping out the right moves to take. So I wait calmly, my heartbeat returning to its serene cadence just by surrendering my mind and thoughts to the cool color of his pale gaze.

So I wait for my big brother to tell me what to do - ‘cause daddy's apparently back but that weirdly doesn’t move me with the same ferocity as when my twin brother came back. 

“I believe you said he has a lot to answer for?”

I nod.

Vergil stares at me, his eyes sharp like Yamato being drawn from a shuddering wound. “I believe you’re right, little brother.”

[onemoregayapollokid]

The Final Answer

Summary: Gilan is pestering Jenny, and then Jenny cries. Or: Three times Gilan asks Jenny to marry him and one time Jenny asks Gilan.

A/N This is seriously my favourite couple in all of RA. If I get any Jenny/Gilan requests I can almost guarantee I'll write them!

Word count: 3.3K

The first Question: 

Time seemed to drag into eternities, silence accompanying the singing of the bullfrogs. Gilan was on one knee, holding Jenny’s hand, eyes trained on the blonde girl's face. Gilan had been so certain, and had zero qualms about Jenny’s answer. Had known she would never say anything but yes, had known she’d choose to become his wife. Had known the question was nothing more than protocol, that there was no doubt of her devotion to him. So this silence, as Gilan  stared at Jenny and Jenny’s eyes searched his face, was foreign to Gilan. He chuckled weakly, as his heart picked up pace, thundering in his chest. Gilan squeezed Jenny’s hands softly, trying to solicit a response from her that wasn’t just silence.

“ Gilan” Jenny started, tugging gently on his hands to pull him to his feet, a furrow between her brows. Gilan swallowed, following Jenny to the low bench. He watched intently as she arranged her skirts, yellow and blues, reminding him of the summer days that have since passed.

“Gilan” Jenny said again, taking his hands in hers. “ You know I love you. And I want to spend time with you, but I can’t marry you.” Now Gilan’s brow furrowed. Jenny smiled at him, achingly soft. “ I just got my restaurant started, I’m still proving myself in the community and you're gone all the time, to Castle Arulen. You can’t be here, and I can’t be there. I can’t be  the Commandant's wife. I can’t spend all day sitting at home, waiting for you to come home. I’m independent, Gil” She shrugged, playing with Gilan’s fingers. “ I can’t be tied to your job, and I won’t ask you to give yours up. Neither of us can give that up” 

Gilan thought he might never be able to get words out past the lump that had taken up residence in his throat- it felt permanent, as much a part of him as the color of his eyes. 

“ What are you saying?” Gilan choked finally, hands fisting into the fabric gathered at Jenny’s hips, clinging to her like she’d disappear if he let go. Jenny sighed softly, thumb tracing Gilan’s jaw. 

“ I don’t know, Gilan,” She admitted.” I love you, and in another universe I would have said yes to you with zero hesitation. But here? Now? I can’t say yes, no matter what the consequences of me saying no are.  I don’t know what the future holds for us, but all I know is you fill my life with sunshine and I hate to lose that, but I can’t give up on my dreams, no matter how much I love you.” 

“ You aren’t losing me.” Gilan’s voice was firm, but still held a note of desperation as he shifted his hands to rest on Jenny’s hips, smoothing over the bunched fabric lightly. He smiled at Jenny, using his hands to pull her closer to him. He nudged against her ear with his nose. “ I adore you” He continued, “ I want you to be my wife. But more than that, I want to share my life with you. If that means stolen moments between our respective jobs and communicating via letters and sneaking away from our jobs like hormone driven teenagers, I’ll take it. I’ll take any moment of time with you, Jen. Even if we never get married, any time spent with you is good enough for me. “ Gilan rested his head on Jenny’s, one hand resting on her back, the other holding her hip. Jenny turned in his embrace, hands resting on either side of his neck. She narrowed her eyes playfully at Gilan. 

“ You won’t stop asking me to marry you, will you? “ She questioned. Gilan laughed, shaking his head.

“ Not until you agree.” He said, cheerfully. Jenny groaned, shoving him lightly. Gilan stumbled intentionally  along with the push, hands catching Jenny’s waist, pulling her with him. Jenny laughed again, wrapping arms around Gilan’s waist, resting her head against Gilan’s chest. She wrinkled her nose as the rough fabric of Gilan’s shirt scratched her cheek. Gilan guided her face up to meet his gaze, His eyes, light and warm, softened as he met Jenny’s blue ones. He kissed the side of Jenny’s mouth, hands caging her lovingly to his chest.

The second question: 

Gilan thought Jenny had never looked more beautiful, laying back against his chest, panting, with a slight sweat sheen to her skin. Gilan  drew her even closer, hand resting on the small of her back, thumbs smoothing over the bare skin there, soft under his hands. Gilan watched as Jenny’s eyes fluttered close, the post euphoria exhaustion hitting her hard. Gilan tucked her head under his chin, humming softly. Jenny sighed, relaxing even further into Gilan’s bare body, hand curling gently around Gilan’s bicep. Gilan relished in the feeling of Jenny, stretched out on top of him, head under his chin. He could feel her breaths, even and deep. He kissed the top of her head, feeling sleep pull at him too. 

“ I love you” He whispered. He suspected she was past the point of hearing him. Either way, he continued his one sided conversation. “ Every day I spend with you only cements that you are the one I want to spend my life with. I want to marry you. I want to proclaim loudly to everyone that I belong to you.  Will keeps telling me to marry you, damn the consequences. But he isn’t the commander. And I am. I’ve never regretted taking the position, I just wish there was a way to have this more often. I want to marry you. But if that’s not a possibility, then give me more moments like this. “ Gilan yawned deeply, snuggling further in Jenny’s blond hair. His eyes slid closed, as he murmured in a voice thick with sleep. “ Marry me, love” Jenny shook her head, eyes not opening. “ No,” She whispered, a small smile on her lips. Gilan chuckled softly, careful to not jostle the women sleeping in his arms. He didn’t open his eyes, relying on muscle memory to find his way down to Jenny, kissing her softly. 

“ You sleep, love. We can discuss it more when you're conscious.” 

“ Won’t change my answer.” Jenny mumbled, pressing her lips to Gilan’s chest. He smiled, hands smoothing over Jenny. Without shifting too much, he grabbed the blanket, pulling it over their intertwined bodies. He smoothed it around Jenny’s shoulders, feeling the familiarity of the motion. How many times had he done this exact progression of actions, he wondered idly. He held his girl, as sleep finally pulled him deep within the darkness that enveloped the room. 

The third question: 

“ Gilan, if you don’t get out from under my feet” Jenny threatened, glaring at her partner. Gilan just laughed, backing away to lean against the doorframe. Jenny might love him, but she also wouldn’t hesitate to hit him with her ladle. She’d been locked in the kitchen all day today plus most of the last few days. Gilan had tried to help but the kitchen was not his forte, and Jenny wanted everything to be perfect. She had sent most of her help home, insisting she did it herself, flitting fluidly from one task to the other. Gilan had to content himself with watching and admittedly being underfoot more than he wasn’t. 

“ C’mon Jen,” Gilan teased, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

“ Halt doesn't care if the food is perfect.” 

“ Halt doesn't know about the party. “ Jenny retorted, rolling her eyes. Gilan shrugged. 

“ Exactly. He doesn't know about it so he doesn't care. All he thinks is happening is a low key dinner at your place because I’m in town.” Gilan smiled, enjoying the back and forth that filled their days so often. 

“ Gilan. Did you just refer to it as my place? “ Jenny had stopped what she was doing, looking at Gilan in disbelief, one hand on her hip. Gilan just raised his eyebrow at her posture.

“ Yes?” He queried. “ It is your place, Jen.” 

“ Only when you're not here. You stay with me Gil, when you are in town, you live with me. You don’t stay at the quarters Baron Arald prepares for you, or with Halt and Pauline or even at the cabin with Will. You stay with me and sometimes we don’t even leave our house. And you’ve been here so often lately, you might as well say you live with me. “ Gilan shrugged, a small smile on his lips. 

“ Whatever you say dear. I’ll still refer to it as your place in front of others- I have the privilege of not being here to hear the barbed words of others, plus I have the privilege of my gender. The last thing I want is for this arrangement to be harder on you than it already is. “ Jenny shook her head, chuckling. 

“ It’s not so bad honestly. No one’s said anything to me besides Halt, but he didn’t say anything bad, just expressed concern. He comes in a lot when you aren’t here actually. I think he’s checking on me. “  Gilan smiled, crossing to pull Jenny into his arms. 

“ Wouldn’t surprise me. When I see him on this trip I’ll ask him about it. “ Jenny turned back to the stove, stirring the pot bubbling there. 

“ Gilan, you’ve been here for almost a week. Have you not seen him yet? “ Jenny sounded exasperated. Gilan chuckled,crossing the room to  rest his head against Jenny’s. 

“ No, not yet.” 

“ Why on earth not? I’ve been at work most days, what do you do while I’m working.” Gilan smiled, embarrassed. 

“ Wait for you to come home.” He mumbled, color high in his cheeks. Jenny dropped her ladle into the pot, spinning to face Gilan. Her eyes were raised, a look of bewilderment on her face. 

“ Gilan.” She spoke slowly, blinking as she tried to process the information. “ Go see Halt. I am not the only one you know here, and I am so busy, you should be spending time with him. Go.” She pushed him gently towards the door, shaking her head at him. Gilan backtracked, stealing a kiss before walking to the door, where he paused, turning back to see Jenny. He smiled softly, asking. 

“ Jen, before I go, quick question?” 

“ Hmm? “ She responded, not even glancing up from where she was stirring the pot. 

“ Marry me?” Gilan asked with a smirk, ducking easily as Jenny whirled and threw her towel at Gilan. 

“ Go” She laughed, “ And I won’t make you starve when I feed everyone else.” Gilan laughed, ducking through the doorway. 

The final question:

 Jenny glanced up as the door slammed open, her greeting(and reprimand) dying on her lips as she saw Will, pale and panting rush into her restaurant. 

“ Will” Jenny’s voice was sharper than she intended it to be. 

“ Jen, I’m sorry, I just.” Will stopped, forced himself to take a deep breath, rolling his shoulders to relax the tension held there. Jenny wiped her hands on her apron, crossing the room to where Will was frozen. 

“ Will.” Her voice was firmer this time, calm despite the turmoil that swirled below the surface. 

“ Jenny, I’m sorry. Gilan was injured on our way home. Halt took him straight to the cabin- it was closest- and I came here. Jen- it’s a bad one. “ Will’s brown eyes were somber, face pale from whatever horror had befallen Gilan. Jenny nodded, blue eyes troubled. 

“Take me to him.” Her voice was even, though her hands trembled. Will opened his mouth to argue, before nodding silently. Jenny followed Will, accepting his help mounting her horse. The frantic  ride to Will’s cabin passed in a blur- there was nothing either of them could say that would bring the other comfort. Will’s thoughts were on his wardmate and the man he had grown to call brother. Jenny’s thoughts were focused on the man she loved. Will drew Tug to a stop, sliding down easily. He helped Jenny off her horse, leading the way into the cabin. Jenny took a deep breath,steeling herself for what she would see on the other side of the doorway. She followed closely behind Will, eyes searching the cabin for Gilan. Halt stood quickly as they entered, the lines on his face appearing deeper than normal. 

“ He’s in there” Halt said, gesturing to the room that used to be Will’s. “ Healer already had a look at him. It’s a serious wound but he’s not in immediate danger. We have to see if he wakes up and what healing looks like. But Jenny, he might  not wake up. There’s truly no way to know for sure, it’s up to him now. There’s nothing more that anyone can do for him. The wound is clean, and stitched, it’s just a matter of time. “ Jenny nodded, afraid to say anything. Will reached out and squeezed her shoulder gently, offering a small smile. 

“ We’ll be outside, alright Jen? Yell if you need us.” Will’s voice was soft, eyes warm. Jenny nodded, watching as Halt and Will ducked through the doorway, shutting the door silently behind them. Jenny knew they wouldn’t be far, but also knew that they would give her privacy. Jenny walked to the door leading to Will’s old room. She took a moment to center herself, leaning her head against the wood of the door. She took a deep breath, before squaring her shoulders and pushing the door open, slipping inside the room. She shut the door quietly, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness, making out the still form of Gilan on the bed. 

“ Gilan” Jenny whispered, tears filling her eyes.She crossed quickly to the bed, sinking down on her knees. Gilan was pale, and so still Jenny found herself watching his chest rise and fall minisculey to reassure herself he was still breathing. Jenny glanced at his leg, wrapped in bandages from the calf to below his knee. THough the bandages were new, Jenny could see blood caked into Gilan’s dark clothes. She reached a hand and ran it gently through Gilan’s hair. 

“ Oh my love” She murmured softly, clasping Gilan’s hand in her own. Jenny knew life was fragile; she was an orphan, after all. But somehow she never thought she had to worry about losing Gilan, not when every time she saw him he was laughing and teasing, loving and so full of life. She never considered that that could end. Jenny frowned as she thought of the hundreds of times Gilan had asked her to marry him, and the hundreds of times she had turned him down. Always with a smile, because she always assumed there would be a next time. A one day. One day when everything falls into place, one day when neither of them had other duties, other responsibilities that pulled at them. One day when they could focus solely on each other. But that day would never come. Jenny sighed, voicing her thoughts out loud- anything to break the silence. 

 “ I was wrong, you know? I should have married you the first time you asked me. I’ll regret telling you no for the rest of my life. Oh, Gil, I’d give anything to be your wife. If you survive this love, I’ll marry you. I don’t care if it means I have to give my restaurant up, I’ll marry you. There is nothing in this world more precious than you. If this is the end of our story, then I’m just glad I got to share it with you. And know this, there is no part of my life, that is not better for having you in it. I love you, and I will for every moment of the rest of my life. You are the light that brightens my life, and I will forever be thankful for having you, even if it might have only  been only for a short time. “ Jenny smiled at Gilan, pale and unresponsive. Her hand trailed along his cheek, memorizing his body all over again. She remembered the feel of his arms, caging her to his chest as he laughed into her hair. His hands, resting on her waist as he followed her around the kitchen. The way he looked at her, as if he was drinking her in and was already drunk on her. The comforting weight of his arm across her body, as he slept beside her. All the moments they stole together, when one or both of them were supposed to be working but they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. She remembered the laughter, all the times Gilan teased her with pure adoration in his eyes. She traced his jaw with her finger murmuring softly

“ I wish you’d wake up, my love. I know Halt said you might not, but I don’t believe him. You’ve spent every moment you can proving him wrong, you have to make a fool of him again.” As if on cue, Gilan’s eyelids fluttered softly, closing before shooting open. He gasped, a ragged, sharp sound as he tried to sit up. Jenny soothed him, pushing back against his shoulders. 

“ It’s alright Gilan! Just rest, love. Rest.” Gilan obeyed, eyes focused on the blonde girl, taking in her blonde hair escaping her bun, curling around her face; the flour still stuck to her arms and skirt and the tears that still streamed down her face. 

“ Jen?” He questioned, cupping her face in her hand, wiping her tears away tenderly. She smiled at him, tumultuous, covering his hand with her own. 

“ Gilan” She whispered, relishing the feel of him, knowing how easily luck could have turned and taken him from her. 

“ Don’t cry Jen. I’m here. I’m alright.” Gilan reassured her. Jenny sniffled, laughing slightly. Gilan opened his mouth to say something but Jenny knew she had to share her thoughts before the subject changed. 

“ Marry me” She blurted, eyes fixed on Gilan’s face. 

“ Jen?” Gilan questioned, brow furrowed.

“ Marry me.” Jenny repeated, firmer this time. She laughed, the sound thick with tears. 

“ I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I met you. I’m sorry it took me almost losing you to realize what I’d be losing, and what I wanted. I want to be your wife, Gil, And I’d give anything up to realize that dream. No sacrifice is too great, not when I’m gaining you in it. Marry me” 

“ Jen.” Gilan’s voice was soft, eyes adoring as he stared at Jenny. 

“ You really think you had to ask? Of course I’ll marry you. I’ve been waiting for this moment for years, Jenny. You have given me everything I wanted- to be your husband. That’s all I’ve wanted. I don’t care what we have to give up or sacrifice- if we have each other, we’ve won the lottery. I won the lottery when I gave my heart to you. And now I get to marry you? I have nothing left to ask for. I adore you. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. “ Gilan reached out and tugged Jenny down to him so she was half on the bed. He kissed her, pouring every emotion he couldn’t say into his kiss. Jenny rested her hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating, solid and fervent and alive, and smiled into the kiss.

“ I guess congratulations are in order?” A wry voice came from behind Jenny. She jumped, spinning to face the voice. Will stood there, hands crossed in front of his body, grin upon his face. 

“ Will Treaty!” Jenny scolded, “ How long exactly have you been standing there?” 

“ At least since I woke up” Gilan offered helpfully, a grin matching Will’s on his face. Jenny groaned, dropping her head to hide her face in Gilan’s chest. 

“ None of that, love” Gilan whispered, guiding her face up to look at him. 

“ Let him see how much I love you and just how glad I am to marry you” And he kissed her again, as Will grinned in the background.

[ordon-shield]

Whumpril Day 8: Hope in Your Heart

nausea | comfort food | dehydration | alt prompt: ransom

ao3 link (2nd in a series)

Zelda was already worried when the four Links never came back from going to face Vaati. It had been days since they had freed her and gone to fight him, long enough for her to make her way back to the castle and start taking steps to help the kingdom recover. As busy as she was trying to manage missing knights and towns burnt down by a dragon, she still sent out scouts to try and fight them, hoping that they’d only been injured in the battle… and not anything worse.

Her worst fears seemed to have been confirmed when she sensed a wave of familiar magic, rushing to the castle courtyard in horror as a dark portal opened up in its centre, shouting to the guards to hide away. A tall and unfamiliar figure stepping out. No, she realised a moment later as she met his eyes. She knew this person, even if the form they took now was different from the one she’d seen before. Hovering just above the ground before her was Vaati, taking the shape of a tall sorcerer with long purple hair, a golden crown on their head, and a familiar eye looking out from the void beneath their robe.

Steeling herself, she stepped forward, calling upon her inherited magic, which took form in her hand as a bright orb of light.

“Vaati. Why have you come here?”

They turned to face her directly and smiled, the sides of their mouth stretching too far as they did so.

“Don’t worry Princess, I have no interest in you any more. Now that I’ve recovered my true power, I’m much more interested in something I heard about from that… boar beast that tried to command me. Tell me, Princess Zelda, where can I find the Triforce?”

Zelda’s eyes widened in shock at the word. The Triforce… it had become nothing more than myth and legend to the people of Hyrule, but the royal family had still retained their knowledge of the sacred artefact.

“The Triforce was lost centuries ago, soon after the end of the Hyrulean Civil War. It was kept in the Sacred Realm, a world adjacent to Hyrule, but when my ancestors finally opened the door to try and access it during a time of need, it had disappeared. You won’t find it here, Vaati.”

They tilted their head at her.

“Are you sure about that, Princess?”

With a wave of their hand, a small figure appeared next to them, held up in the air by chains made of shadow. Zelda instantly recognised him as Link, the Four Sword missing from his back, and his clothes the familiar mix of green and white he’d always worn before drawing that blade. She didn’t trust it for a moment.

“How do I know that isn’t just his shadow? We’ve been tricked before by that summoned shade!”

Vaati chuckled, as if amused by her question.

“That traitorous little spirit? It’s been… disposed of. If you need a guarantee though… I’ll let him speak.”

The shadows around Link seemed to loosen, and he shouted out to Zelda.

“Don’t listen to him! I’m fine, just don’t—“

The shadows returned, cutting him off, as Vaati loomed over Zelda.

“Do you believe me now?”

Zelda met Link’s eyes, pleading at her to refuse what Vaati had asked of her.

“… Free Link first. Then I’ll tell you what I know.”

Vaati shrugged and the shadows dissipated, sending Link falling to the ground where he lay limply. Giving him a worried glance, Zelda took a deep breath, meeting Vaati’s eyes with her own.

“The Triforce comes in three pieces. Power, Wisdom, and Courage. The Triforce of Power and the Triforce of Courage were last seen during the Twilight Invasion, centuries ago. The Triforce of Wisdom… was passed down through my family from the Queen of that time, until we chose to hide it away to protect it. You’ll find the Triforce of Wisdom in a sacred grove hidden deep in the forests of Faron. That’s all I know.”

Vaati’s grin split their face wide open, filled with more teeth than Zelda cared to think about.

“Thank you Princess. That’s all I need for now.”

With a burst of dark magic, which pushed against her senses like a vicious wind, the wind mage vanished into a portal just like the one they had arrived through, leaving Zelda and Link alone in the courtyard.

She rushed to his side, thankful to see him whole again, but worried about what he must have gone through with Vaati. Helping him up, she realised he had no visible wounds, which should have been a comfort, if she didn’t know just what a powerful mage could do to someone’s mind without ever drawing blood.

There was a reason she chose to accept Vaati’s deal, something more than their personal ties. It was something even Link didn’t know about himself, a well kept secret of her line. The divine power held by the Hero of Twilight was passed down through his descendants, and she’d been told enough stories of Hyrule’s past to recognise the shape of the faded birthmark on the back of his hand, even if he didn’t know its true meaning himself. To let Vaati keep him, even ignorant of his ancestry was a risk she couldn’t take.

Helping Link on their way to the castle infirmary, she tried to ask him what had happened, but he stayed silent, his eyes avoiding contact with her own. She had to wonder though… did his eyes always have that slight violet tint?

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Mad Love Chapter 24

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there

Kate: Alfons!

When I left my room, I saw Alfons waiting for me in the hall.

But he clearly did not look pleased.

Alfons: Have you mistaken me for a chaperone?

Kate: “One month today” means I’m Fairytale Keeper until today ends. That’s why I still need someone watching over me when I go out. So, please.

(...This feels a little self-centered of me)

Alfons: You know, you’re starting to become like Roger.

(Ah…I can’t deny that at all. They do say that pet dogs resemble their owners…)

I couldn’t help but laugh when I thought about where I am now after being a “pet dog” for some time.

Kate: Hehe, I don’t know about that.

Alfons sighed in exasperation at my response.

Alfons: Let’s make haste. I only came back this morning, so I’m feeling extremely sleepy.

--

Alfons and I went to the post office where I used to work.

Black-eyed colleague: Kate! I thought it’s been a while since I last saw you, but I didn’t think the next time would be because you’re resigning!

Brown-eyed colleague: Yeah, I was surprised you suddenly disappeared after being “summoned by the palace”.

Kate: …Sorry for the short notice.

Black-eyed colleague: I’ll miss you, if I’m being honest, but things happen in life. Leave this to me.

Brown-eyed colleague: Eh~ I’ll miss you too. Who’s going to listen to my complaints~

Black-eyed colleague: Kate, maybe resigning was the right choice.

Brown-eyed colleague: Hey, hey, what do you mean by that? You’re so mean!

Kate: Hehe…

(Aah…I love this sort of atmosphere)

Friendly colleagues, a hard-working office chief that likes trying new things…, the sound of letters being sorted, the counter being crowded with people holding letters.

This was all an important part of my ordinary life.

(—But)

Kate: I’m so grateful to you all. Everyone, take care.

I waved away the place I loved with a smile.

I had found where I belonged and began my making my way there—

--

On the way, I stopped by my flat on the second floor of the bakery to finalize the process of selling it.

Kate: …Alright.

Alfons: You’ve resigned from your job and have moved out of your flat. Everything is gone now.

There was a look in his eyes as if he wanted to say “you’re an idiot.”

Kate: …Alfons. You once asked, “If Roger did not have very long to live, would you still choose to stay by his side?”

Alfons: …

Kate: Even I think I’m an idiot. As you said, I might end up a widow who spends her days in tears. However…no matter what, I can’t be apart from Roger.

I hated myself for being weak.

Roger was the only one who always stayed close to me.

Roger’s the only one I want to see me grow stronger from now on.

(Even if it means letting it all go, I want to be by Roger’s side)

Kate: This choice isn’t because of self-sacrifice, devotion, or anything idealistic like that. To continue on as I am, I need Roger, so I’ve thrown everything away to take the plunge. This is an extremely egoistic choice, isn’t it?

Alfons: … Has falling in love with Roger turned you silly?

Kate: Hehe, seems so. Unfortunately.

With a brand new future ahead of me, Alfons smiled in resignation.

Alfons: I have no right to criticize your way of life. You’re free to do as you wish, welcome to the depths of darkness.

A gentle voice invited me into a world crawling with villains.

(But it won’t be like when I was Fairytale Keeper)

(I am definitely entering this world by my own free will)

Kate: …Ah, I said all that with so much enthusiasm, but there’s still a chance I’ll be turned down.

Alfons: Aha! Should that happen, then I will sew that man’s mouth shut so that he’ll never speak again.

--

Alfons then escorted me to the bar before disappearing like an illusion with a big yawn.

I entered the bar alone—

(...Ah, found him)

Roger: …

Roger was sitting by the counter.

We had agreed to meet here.

…Because I had something to tell him.

Kate: …Sorry for making you wait.

Roger: I just got here. So, you wanted to talk?

Straight to the point. I felt my heart speed up.

Kate: It’s been one month since I became Fairytale Keeper. As promised, I’ll be released from my duty. That’s why… I threw everything away. My job, my home, everything.

After saying that all in one go, I looked at Roger…

Roger: …O_O

Kate: Roger. Please make me your exclusive Fairytale Keeper. I already have Victor’s permission. All I need now is your approval.

I could see myself reflected in those amber eyes that widened with surprise.

Kate: …I heard all about it. Alfons told me about your lifespan. 

Roger: Ah, then…

As if figuring out the reason, Roger’s lips curved into a self-deprecating smile.

Kate: You were planning on using the final trial to say farewell to me today, weren’t you? I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be pushed around by an egoist like you forever.

I put strength behind my words, but my heart couldn’t stop my heartbeat from going crazy.

My brand new future depended on Roger.

Kate: …I want to be with you so that I can be me. It’s frustrating, but it can’t be anyone else but you…Roger, let me be your Fairytale Keeper. …And your final lover.

Roger: …

What words will follow this silence?

I clenched my fists tightly on my lap, so nervous that I could hardly breathe.

Finally, I heard it…

Roger: Haven't had all my words taken out of my mouth before. Kate, you’ve cleared your final trial.

(...Huh?)

(My final…trial?)

I couldn’t process those words that came out of the blue.

Kate: W-what do you mean… Please explain so that I can properly understand.

Without thinking, I leaned forward, grabbed Roger by his shirt, and shook him.

Roger just went along with it, laughing happily as if being grabbed by a dog.

Roger: What you heard from Al’s true. But you’re overestimating how much of a good person I am. It’s definitely not smart to pick a guy who could die at any time. You also had an important daily routine to “go back to”. But…why does that mean I gotta let you go?

Kate: Huh…?

I loosened my grip on his shirt.

Roger looked right at me with tender eyes.

Roger: Kate, your final trial was going to be “can you throw everything away and choose me?” But then you threw everything away yourself. Pfft…

Roger’s shoulders started shaking.

Kate: …Roger?

Roger: Pfft, hahahahaha! You really are the most interesting woman I’ve met.

This man~~~ +4 +4

Y-you’re the worst!

You expected this?

Kate: This man~~~ ( ｡ •`ᴖ´• ｡)

Roger: Haha, you fell for me again, didn’t you? You love a strong, egoistic man.

Roger’s large hand ruffled my hair.

Roger probably knows that I like being pet by those hands of his.

Roger: Right now, I’m so happy I could die. So happy that I started laughing without even reading the room.

(Ahhh geez…)

I threw away my job, my home, my ordinary life…

This man goes on saying this was all part of his plan and then gives the best laugh.

He showed me how much more of an egoist he could be…I was completely defeated.

Roger: Kate.

The hand that was on my head slid down to the back of my neck and pulled me closer.

We were so close that our noses touched and my heart pounded.

Roger: Throw it all away and become my lover.

He was still the same self-centered egoist who pushes people around.

That will definitely never change even in our time together.

However—

Kate: I’m the only one who can handle you, Roger. I’ll be your lover.

Roger: …Oh?

I felt embarrassed when he smiled suggestively at me like that, so I snatched his glasses.

And then…I pressed my lips against his.

(...Huh?)

Roger: …What’s up?

Kate: I…don’t taste any alcohol.

Roger: That’s ‘cause I’m not having alcohol.

Roger glanced over at the beer mug on the table.

Kate: Why? I never thought you wouldn’t drink at a bar…

Roger: If we’re gonna have sex, I wanna be sober for it.

Kate: ….Eh…ah…

(In other words…)

While he waited for me, he was betting on the fact that I’d throw everything away.

(My chest’s pounding too much for me to form a comeback…)

Roger: …What’s with that cute face? I’m not waiting any longer. Let’s go.

Roger pulled me up by the arm.

Roger: Barkeep, I’m leaving the money here. Keep the change.

Kate: Where are we going?

Roger: An inn nearby.

Kate: …We’re not going back…?

Roger: Do you think you can hold your moans back during our first time together?

Kate: Wha…!

Thinking about what Roger just said to me was enough to make me feel overwhelmed.

Kate: ……Probably not.

When I muttered this, and amused huff brushed against my cheek.

Roger: …Then follow me.

[ericac318]

Choosing Love

Summary:

Before the events of Star Trek: Picard season 2, Q met the love of his life in Rose Carter. Will Q let her join him on his mission to ensure Picard has the same opportunity to find love that Q has found with her? This is not 100% canon compliant. QxOC

Chapter 4

“My darling,” Q began as he sat next to Rose in their 2024 apartment, “There is a piece to this mission that I need to do on my own. I’ll be back to get you as soon as it’s completed. Will you agree to this, please?”

Rose sighed, “I thought you promised to never leave me behind again?”

“You are completely correct,” he countered, “However, this last part needs to be between myself and Jean Luc. He has reached a very important moment in his journey and I need to be there to give him the final push. You won’t be alone for long, I promise,” he stated before he placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

She couldn’t help it when the tears started rolling down her cheeks.

“Woah, woah, woah,’ Q reacted as he pulled her tighter into his embrace, “What’s all of this for? I’ll be back before you even know I’m gone,” he added, hoping to comfort and reassure her.

She gathered herself enough to be able to speak, “What if you die while you’re gone? I’ll never see you again and I’ll be stuck here forever.” Her voice crumbled into sobs as she shared her true fears.

“That will not happen,” he promised, “And, even if I did die, you wouldn’t be stranded here. Another one of the Qs will bring you home. I promise. But, you have nothing to fear, my love. I will be back to retrieve you. I refuse to leave this universe without looking at your beautiful face, at least, one more time,” he lamented, against his better judgment. This wasn’t supposed to be a goodbye at all, any version of one.

Rose pulled out of his strong arms so she could look into his perfect eyes, “I trust you. Go ahead and finish this thing with Picard. I’ll be here waiting for you. Just promise me that you’ll be careful and that you’ll return. I don’t want to meet another Q. I want you,” she revealed, as she sniffed her nose, trying to compose herself and be strong for him.

“I promise, my dear,” he guaranteed as he leaned down and placed his lips to hers, kissing her with every fiber of passion in his being.

When he released her, he stole another quick kiss, ghosting his lips across her cheek, “I will be back before you know it. You will barely know I’ve left. I love you, my dear sweet Rose. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in all my many years. Know that,” he whispered as he leaned in toward her ear.

His words caused a shiver along her spine as she grasped his forearm to keep him for one more moment, “I love you too. I know I haven’t been alive as long as you have, by a long shot. But you are the only person that I have ever truly loved. And, I will love you for as long as I’m alive and every day after. You are my soulmate,” Rose added as the couple shared another quick but passionate kiss before Q snapped and disappeared, leaving her alone to sit with her worries.

Hours later, that felt like days, Q reappeared before Rose, but something was wrong. He was weak.

She jumped up and rushed to his side to take some of his weight, “What happened to you?” she asked, afraid to hear the answer.

He took a moment to regulate his breathing before he spoke, “Jean Luc was able to let go of the ghosts haunting his past. Unfortunately, I’ve used almost all of the power I had left in the process. I have two good snaps left in me.” Q made eye contact with Rose, “I’m so sorry, my love. I truly thought we had more time,” he stated as he snapped, bringing the couple into the woods where Picard and his people were waiting, not giving her a chance to get upset.

“Q, you look awful,” Picard commented upon his and Rose’s arrival, “Are you alright?”

Q straightened himself, releasing Rose in the process, unwilling to say goodbye to Picard looking anything less than himself. “I am just fine and I need to get you all back to where you belong, including my dear Rose. Jean Luc, please look after her. This snap will be the last thing I’m ever able to do,” he shared, honestly showing vulnerability that only Rose had ever seen.

“Are you sure?” Picard questioned, reaching out and placing his hand on Q’s upper arm, “We could stay in this time. I know you’ve been a thorn in my side for many years, but I’m not ready to say farewell,” he shared,

Picard’s words caused Rose to finally lose control of her emotions. She began to sob as she raced toward Q, wrapping her arms around him from behind.

“I understand why you have to do this but I’m not ready,” Rose managed to choke out through her breakdown.

Q turned away from Picard to face Rose, “I will miss you so much, my love. You’ll find someone else, I’m sure of it. Don’t cry over me. I want to remember that beautiful face with the radiant smile you sport so well, not this,” he wiped her tears, “Please be strong, for me?”

Rose took a deep breath, inhaling her emotions, as she composed herself, “For you, of course.”

Q placed a kiss on her forehead before he turned back to Picard, “Are you all ready to return to your time period?” he asked, matter-of-factly as if this wasn’t his last act as a living being.

Picard embraced Q, “If this is the end, then I want to say goodbye properly. I will miss you, old friend,” he shared as he released Q.

Before Q could snap his fingers, sending everyone but himself home, the group was interrupted by the entrance of another Q.

“Q?” Q questioned at the interruption, “What are you doing here?”

The other Q glanced at Rose, noting she was emotional once again, “I am here to make you an offer, bother.”

“And what is that?” Q inquired as he moved back a few steps, pulling Rose into his arms, wishing he could erase himself from her memory to stop the pain she was experiencing.

The other Q spoke, “This snap will certainly be your demise, but if you’d like me to send everyone home I will.”

“What do I have to do for you to offer that?” Q questioned, his eyebrow raised.

The other Q responded, “I will offer you a mortal life. You will live as long as Rose Carter. When she passed, you will go by her side. What do you say? You will no longer have your powers, but you will have much more time.”

Q was shocked as he looked down at his Rose and then at Picard, who was wearing a dopey grin of approval.

“Rose, my dear,” Q began, “What do you think I should do?”

Rose shook her head, “I can’t make this decision for you. I know how much you love your powers and I would understand if you chose to use them once more instead of having more time with me. This is your choice to make,” she offered as she took a step away from him so she wouldn’t be influencing his decision.

Q looked at his fellow Q and nodded, “I choose a mortal life. I would much rather live out my days with Rose than continue menacing the galaxy. I humbly accept your proposal,” he added as he reached for Rose’s hand which she gladly took.

“Very well,” the other Q stated as he snapped.

The world disappeared for a brief moment before it came into view again. Rose found herself in her apartment, alone.

She attempted to keep herself composed as she looked for Q, realizing that he could have changed his mind at the last minute. She was holding back her breakdown as she sat down on her sofa, taking a deep breath.

Moments later, Q appeared before her, just as he had done before she’d gone on this adventure with him.

“Don’t look so sad, my darling,” he whispered as he moved to sit beside her, wrapping his arm around her, “I had a few things to finish up at the Continuum before I could rejoin you for our mortal life. Travel is going to be so tedious from now on,” he joked, earning a slap from her.

Rose removed herself from his grasp so she could straddle him, wrapping her arms around his neck, “Don’t make jokes. I thought I was about to lose you,” she held back her tears as she placed kisses along his cheek, jawline, and lips.

“I told you I wouldn’t be leaving you anytime soon,” he teased as he moved his hips involuntarily against her, “You have to learn to trust me, my dear.”

“I love you so much,” Rose whispered into his ear before she placed her lips against his.

Q broke the kiss, for a moment, “And, I love you. Now, that we have all of this time together we can do whatever you want. Start a family, travel the world, anything you can imagine with no magic involved, of course,” he added, teasing her as she felt her bite his lower lip, sucking it into her mouth.

“I don’t care what we do as long I have you by my side, dummy,” Rose confessed as she resumed their kiss while moving her hands underneath his turtleneck, running her fingernails along his skin, causing him to gasp against her lips.

The End

A/N: In Q’s ‘final’ moment, he tells Picard, “See you out there.” I choose to believe that this means he’s still out there somewhere and he could reappear at any moment. I hope you enjoyed my story.

[theartist-june]

A week of absence

Okay, so... before I go on and disappear for a week, I just want to give some news on why I am needing to get off or be inactive in posting and stuff.

That... is because I am sick again. Yeah, yeah, I know. Well, at least most of the upset is out of my system now because my friends and family have been supportive of me through all of this. God I wouldn’t know what to do without them.

Anyway, I will be out mostly because I don’t want to be upset again after I go to the Doctor’s visit and just lash out because of my bipolar ass can’t manage emotions well. I’ve already troubled my best friend and my mom enough, can’t have you guys go through it as well.

I’m fine, just very unhealthy because of my lifestyle and such. I will hear more with the doctor’s because today I can’t go since the clinic is closed. I am in need of money because mom is away and I need it tomorrow morning but it was actually solved because of relatives lending me some.

All in all, while its unfortunate that I am always getting sick (again, my fault because of bad lifestyle choices) but with the support I have, my friends being there for me, my family being there, my relatives and all that--everything is coming to place and I finally just stopped crying about it after some time for myself.

I can’t guarantee that I will be able to change my lifestyle quickly, I can’t promise that I won’t cry about it again and again, but yo mans gotta survive so I will be doing my hardest and not just cripple myself completely with depression. I got this guys, baby steps. This year may have been shit but that’s because life always has a glass of milk for you (lactose intolerant jokes for the homies who know me lol).

Anyway, this week is just me trying to get myself emotionally and mentally stable lol. I know my doctor is going to rip into me because of my blood chem and all that being all too high. But eh, I will try again. I’ll be seeing you guys around! Take care and eat healthy unlike my fat ass lmao!

[positivitee]

I curate this blog with only one person in mind: me.

If the things I post bring you happiness too, that’s great! I love that, and you are more than welcome here!

However, at the end of the day, I am making this blog for ME.

About this Blog:

I started this blog because I am autistic, and a lot of the time when I have a meltdown, it can feel like the world is quite literally ending, like nothing will ever be ok again, and everything is hopeless and worthless. Obviously this isn’t true, but in that moment, no matter what I logically know, it FEELS true.

I thought it could be helpful for me to have a place full of things that give me hope or make me happy, something that I could look at when I’m feeling hopeless so that I can have some hope to cling to until I’m feeling better.

I considered making an actual physical journal, but my executive functioning skills are quite poor & I felt like a tumblr blog would have a lot less barriers for me, since I spend most of my time on tumblr anyway.

Important Things to Know:

Because I’m using this basically in lieu of a private journal, I’m probably not going to do research on whether things are fake or AI or reposted or whatever. If I see something and it makes me feel hopeful/happy/etc., I’m going to reblog it. Because at the end of the day, if seeing it makes me feel hopeful, it’s done its job. I don’t really care if it’s fact or fiction, I just care that it’s made me not want to die, at least for a little bit. I wouldn’t be fact checking things I write in a journal, I’m not gonna fact check things on this blog either. If this bothers you please do your own fact checking before reblogging; however, I do NOT want to know if something I reblogged isn’t true, so please don’t send in asks about it! I will be getting on this blog when I am feeling like there is nothing good in the world, to look at these posts to try to make myself feel better. The last thing I want at a moment like that is to get on & see an ask telling me that actually one of the few little glimmers of hope I thought existed isn’t actually true, ya know?

There’s a very good chance things won’t be tagged (or at least, not always). And if I do tag things, my tagging system may or may not make sense or be consistent

I don’t tag for trigger warnings either, sorry. Nothing on here is going to be triggering to me, and since the blog is just for me…yeah. Since the theme of the blog is happiness/hopefulness, I don’t anticipate there being a ton of triggering things, but I also make no guarantees. You’ve been warned 🤷‍♀️

Right now, I’ve got asks & submissions turned on, so feel free to ask or submit something. However, there is a decent chance I will end up turning them off. Since the entire purpose of this blog is for me to be able to come on here during meltdowns to help me feel better, I don’t want to do anything that will make it stressful or make me feel worse. I do tend to struggle a lot with communication & social interaction, so I can see myself getting overwhelmed & needing to turn asks off.

On a similar note, I could see myself making all my posts private & soft blocking everyone some day if I get super overwhelmed so uh. Yeah. Just be aware that could happen 🤷‍♀️.

Most (but not all) of the things that get posted here will probably be queued first. Even with the queue though, there’s still a good chance I’ll disappear for months at a time.

About the Blogger:

I’m in my 30s, she/her. I was diagnosed with autism & adhd a few years ago. My brain makes a lot more sense to me now that I know what autism & adhd are, but things are still really hard & I’ve been experiencing burnout & skill loss for a few years now.

This is a side blog, but I’m not gonna link my main 🤷‍♀️ (can anyone guess what my favorite emoji is lol).

[archiveikemen]

Kitsuji Sueharu Main Story: Preview

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting┊aikm’s Genjiden Glossary

In the story of a blissful love, the feelings in another person’s heart wavered—...

Benkei: … Mere hard work isn't enough for you to defeat Sueharu.

Yuno: I know that. But even so, I’m not giving up.

Benkei: Heh?

Benkei: — Your perseverance is surprisingly strong. My impression of you has changed.

Musashibo Benkei — a warrior monk from the Rebel Army, and also a confidant of Sueharu’s.

…

Benkei: — If Yuno stays in Hiraizumi, will you come back?

Sueharu: ... ggh.

Sueharu: It’s not as if—

Benkei: Sueharu! If you dare try to fool me any more, I’ll kill you.

…

Confronting Sueharu directly with a burning passion—.

Benkei: This doesn't look good. — Yuno, run!

(No!)

Benkei: ... Guh… ugh…

Yuno: Benkei!

Benkei: Get on the horse and ride like your life depends on it…!

He was my enemy, and yet he sacrificed himself to save my life—

But his genuine feelings… would never cause him to betray his friendship.

…

Yoichi: … What, so you have feelings for Yuno?

Benkei: All I’m saying is that had I met her before Sueharu did, I would've fallen for her.

Yoichi: … Oh— you admitted it so easily. You have a defeated look on your face.

Yoichi: Pretending to be tough? Hm?

Benkei: I don’t have to pretend.

Benkei: They love each other and now they’re together. What could possibly be happier than that?

Yoichi: …

Yoichi: Just saying, do you not feel pain in your chest whenever you see the two of them so chummy?

Benkei: They’re my friends. It’s only natural that the importance of their happiness outweighs the aching in my heart.

…

Benkei: I won’t let you leave us again.

Benkei: Not even your death will change that.

Sueharu: …

Sueharu: You’re even willing to go against the possibility of me dying. You’re being too harsh, no?

Benkei: Not if it’s YOU. Don't you dare hurt such a good woman.

Sueharu: … Benkei

Benkei: Nevertheless, if you're to disappear…

Benkei: As your friend, I’ll take on the responsibility of looking after Yuno and comforting her…

Benkei: I’ll stay by her side and wait for you to come back.

— A transient, secret, one-sided love that bloomed and fell along with the flow of fate.

[theauthorinblue]

Wrote a bit for The Dragonsongs, and now I’m posting it because I thought it was good

Everett grumbled to herself about Marshall’s restless ghosts as she turned at the bottom of the staircase. “Yeah, Marshall’s captured, we’re working on it, if you want to use some energy go find him instead of breaking shit. We don’t even live here.”

But as she turned to look at what should’ve been empty space, a small child holding a notebook looked back.

“Oh bollocks. What do you want?”

“It’s about Marshall. And Micah. I need to talk to you.”

The boy waved his arm and a table soundlessly moved out from the wall between them. He touched the spine of the notebook to the table and it transformed into a scroll.

Everett moved closer, transfixed. “What’s that for?”

Wren spread it out over the table. “This is a map of where Micah and Marshall are being held. He pointed to a blue line with a hollow circle on it. “These are the sentry paths, and where they will start when you all inevitably attempt a break-in. They move about three feet a second.”

“How fast do they turn around?”

“Two seconds.”

Everett nodded. “And that’s them in that central chamber?”

Wren nodded. “They’re the first floor underground.”

“Alright. Wait—” Everett pursed her lips and stepped back. “Why did you bring me down here of all of us?”

The boy hesitated. “I wanted to warn you, so you had time to prepare. One of you is going to die trying to escape.”

“And I take it it’s not me?”

“It is not.”

“Then who?”

Wren shook his head. “I can’t say. And neither can you. If you tell the others, they’re going to think they’re invincible, and then there’s nothing I can do to save them.”

“You can literally do anything here.”

“I can’t save them without compromising their free will, and I won’t do that.”

Everett shook her hands at her head, then slammed them on the table. “So you came here to tell me one of my cousins is dying and I can’t even warn them— I just have to stand by and watch?”

The boy shrank, and for once, actually looked guilty. “I’m sorry.”

“I hate you.” She said it as a fact, emotionless. “I really truly hate you.”

The boy looked at his feet and nodded, just barely. “I’m sorry.”

Then he disappeared, and left Everett alone.

Everett looked over the map again. It was the best that any scout could manage, even getting down to the random tables and chairs that blocked off certain halls. Every single guard on the floor was marked, as was every entrance. Had it been from anyone else, she would have assumed it was fake. But, unfortunately, Wren’s map was guaranteed to be correct.

He experimentally tore one edge of the paper. It healed itself as soon as he stopped ripping it. “Because of course it does. Fuck this. I’ll find another way. One that doesn’t lead to anyone’s death.”

He crumpled the map into a ball and stashed it upstairs in his suitcase, where nobody would look for it. Then he went back downstairs and pored over what Lily had written down that Micah and Marshall had found. Land deeds. Experiment records. Photos of those hellish black balls, humans that couldn’t take it. No more. No more of them, no more of anyone, was going to die because of their experiments. And especially not his family. They’d been through enough.

He studied and studied the documents, looking for anything to help him. The only thing that stopped him was Lily waking him up. He must’ve fallen asleep at some point. He shook off his tiredness and went back to the documents still spread around him.

“Woah, what’s got you so worked up?” Lily asked, sipping at the mug of coffee in her hands. It burned her mouth and they both reeled back.

“Will you put that down?” Everett demanded. “I can’t focus if you’re in pain.”

Lily frowned, suddenly irate as she put her coffee on the counter. “Jeez, what’s got you in such a bad mood?”

“Long night, no sleep, and—” Fucking Rainier “—probably the fact that you’re also not in a particularly pleasant mood. And I assume withdrawal.” He got up and brushed by her to get to the mini-fridge.

“Hey,” Lily barked. “Don’t blame your bad mood on me!”

Everett threw his hands up as he pulled out a plastic cup. “Look, if I could just turn off my abilities we wouldn’t be here. Trust me. I’d be at home, safe and comfortable, instead of fighting with you while Micah and Marshall are being held captive! I didn’t fucking ask for this!” He paused, then slowly lowered his hands. “I’m sorry,” he stated, forcing the emotion out of his voice. “Just because I’m stressed doesn’t mean I can blow up at you.” He sighed. “It’s been a long night. I just need sleep.”

He sighed and put the cup back in the cabinet, then started back upstairs. Mac caught him on the stairway and immediately became concerned. “You okay?”

Of course I’m not okay. You could be dead by sunrise. “Yeah, fine, just tired and worried about tonight. I’m gonna go try and sleep.”

Mac’s concern didn’t lighten, but he let him through. Everett went back to his room, quickly checked to make sure the map was still hidden, and promptly went to sleep.

He woke up in the mid-afternoon to Lily yelling. She wasn’t angry, not really, she was just desperate for Micah to be safe again. The others could clearly tell that too, as they were more concerned for her than angry that she was yelling at them.

“Will you shut it?” Everett asked as he slowly made his way downstairs, the very concept of light making his head split open. “You’re stressed and desperate, we get it, we’re gonna get them both back. Stop yelling at them about it. Go… work out or something. Do something healthy.”

That shocked everyone into silence long enough for Everett to take a couple aspirin tabs before Lily managed to make a brand new shade of red anger.

Everett reacted almost instantly, before she could say anything. “No, alright, come with me.” He waved for her to follow him, stuffed his feet in his sandals, and started out of the hotel room. Lily’s anger subsided partially into confusion as he led her down the hallway, down several flights of stairs, around to the main entrance, outside, and over to the edge of the parking lot. Only then did Everett dare to look back at her.

Lily was mostly just confused now. “What the fuck was that for?”

“To make you calm down.”

Lily’s entire face went blank, and he could practically hear the windows error noises as she processed what he said. Both amusement and anger grew as her confusion subsided. “I can’t believe that actually worked. But still. I am allowed to be scared and desperate, Everett. My other fucking half is being held hostage and all I can do is wait while we come up with some sort of plan to rescue them but the best thing anyone can suggest is send a fucking lookout! By the time we get Mac in there they’ll both be dead!”

Everett froze at those words. “No. Nobody is dying. We’ll find a way.”

“How? It’s going to take Mac days to map out their lair!”

Everett clenched his fists. “You’re really gonna force us into it, aren’t you. You’re really gonna do it,” he mumbled at the ground.

“What did I do?”

“Not you. That asshole that controls all our lives.”

“What does he have to do with this this time?”

“Do we have literally any other way of getting them out than a break-in that would ensure the same amount of safety?”

“Anything longer than tonight risks them both dying.”

“You mother— What if we already had the layout?”

Lily slowed down as her fear once again became anger. “Did Wren give you the fucking building layout Everett?” It was an accusation, not a question.

“If there are literally any other options we should do those. Anything before this.”

“Where are the plans Everett?”

“They’re a last-resort, understand? I swear I have my reasons!”

“Do you want them both to die?”

The anger seeped out of her voice as she started to cry.

“Hey hey look, I don’t want anyone to die. If this is literally our only option I’ll go get it, but I need to know, do we have any other options?”

“Not ones that don’t risk both their lives!”

The wind picked up around them. One of them will die, it seemed to whisper.

Everett grimaced. “Fine. Let’s get those plans.”