#((my only solace is that at least I'll leave knowing I gave my all with the last fic hAHAHHAHAHA– my parents

[throwaway-yandere]

Wait, you're leaving?? What did I miss??

Haha it's just personal reasons pls dw about it ;-; idk if it's the proper term but I'm "flattered" that you're worried ( ⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⌢⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀)

[lynnlovesthestars]

"I wandered lonely as a cloud"

Pairing: Astarion x gn!Reader (afab for eventual smut) Genre: hurt, comfort. Angst, smut eventually. CW: gore, past trauma, abuse, reference to SA, ptsd, ocd, feeling of inadequacy, fear of rejection, fear of loneliness, anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts[...] Setting: Act 2. Synopsys: "let's pretend we are not alone"

AN: Hello my stars, I haven't wrote a fanfic in a while, though this is a mix between a fic and a collection of one shots. The story is introspective, as we dwell in the story, our focus will be on two lonely souls that find solace in each other's touch. It will not be an action driven story, but fear not, It wont just be cuddles and kisses! (Though we'll have plenty of that) Anyways i hope you'll enjoy this, and you'll find comfort in it.

I'm also going to open a tag list, in case someone is interested. (if the taglist flops, you didn't see it) I'll link the form here so you can avoid leaving it in the comments if you prefer!

Form.

Playlist.

Masterpost.

Loneliness was a strange feeling, sometimes it sprouted when you least expected it, but it hit you the worst at night. It was a feeling you grew accustomed over time, it coated your days, your food, your eyes. In a way it became your way of knowing you were alive, that deep down that emptiness you felt, something akin to a heart was beating, though lonely.

Everyone could see when loneliness was hitting you the worst, cause in the morning you would be more tired, eyebags would sulk your face and you would be avoidant.

The Last Light Inn was finally in sight as you descended the dark and shadowy path that the group of harpers pointed to. The bright glow of encircling the area was the only sign that could point at your way.

Despite the rough welcome from Jaheira and the harpers, they offered you a few rooms so you could rest while you planned your next moves. Jaheira took it on herself to give you a briefing on all she gathered in the shadowlands, but she could clearly see the dark circles under your eyes, and she knew them very well. The eyebags of a leader that needed rest and a warm soup. Little did she know that whatever you felt inside, it was much more than that. It was the thug you felt in your chest, the yearning for even the smallest touch. The need of closeness, like a body pressed against your skin as you dozed asleep. It was the daydreaming of respite in someone else’s embrace, safe and tucked away, though in that moment you wanted to concentrate more on the situation at hand: looking for the beds, cause for once in the past weeks, you didn’t need to set up camp or gather wood, or even sleep on the floor.

The group was directed towards the hen, where the strange ox from the emerald grove was moo-ing about its food. Jaheira gave you a key that would open a hatch where extra rooms would be tucked away. As you descended down the staircase, a soft light glimmered at the center of the space, where four doors were scattered around the empty communal area. A small kitchen sat on the side, while a fireplace was opposite to it. 

Whoever resided here before the darkness hit this place, was probably the owner of the inn and their family. The space was left clean, the harpers kept it in good conditions as they took over the perimeter of the inn.

You dropped your backpack near a door as you took a glimpse of the rooms: all of them had a poster bed that could easily hold two people and a partition to hide a bathing corner.

You opted to divide the rooms with the support of a coin flip. It was nothing against Lae'zel, but when the coin fell and it assigned you to her, you contemplated if you could have set a tent in the middle of the road. Your brain started churning ideas as the rest of the group was knees deep discussing on the beds.

"Oh don't sulk, Astarion" Gale played with the elf as he shoved his elbow in his hip. "I'm not an awful bedmate" 

"There's no way, I'm sleeping in the same room with you again" Astarion whined as he turned his head the other way. Then it hit you. 

Astarion.

Lae, do you mind sharing a room with Gale?" You asked, lowering your tone.

"Tck, are you trying to bed me and Gale?" She shot you a cold glance as you feing ignorance. 

She could think whatever if it meant you wouldn't hear her complaining every night. If you had to share a room with someone, you were oddly more comfortable with the idea of sharing your space with Astarion, and maybe it was for the fact that you were already closer. Feeding him every night meant learning how to share a small space and a closeness you were not willing to share with much people. Then in those nights you couldn’t rest, you’d sit together in front of the fire as you opened up to each other. It was a slow process for both of you, a little at a time you’d feed each other with bits of your hearts. You even mentioned a few times about that loneliness that was always devouring you, though you made sure to sugarcoat it a little, and he was very understanding of the bits you gave him.

You felt that you'd be more at ease with someone that understood loneliness the way you did, someone that wouldn't cross the boundaries unless you allowed him, cause if there was something you liked about him, it was the work he was doing on himself, relearning behaviors he couldn't claim before. Like the meaning of the word 'no', and how to trust, though he still pretended he didn't like anyone.

It was a shield he would put on, so that he couldn't get hurt or worse, rejected. He shared it with you in another sleepless night.

Though elves didn't need to sleep, during meditation something very akin to dreams was happening: your mind would focus on events of the past, over and over again, and you weren’t fond of your past crawling out again unwanted. Nevertheless, you both enjoyed sleep, there was something about those hours of nothingness that it made you breathe. 

Your attention was quickly drawn back to the room when Astarion and Gale were still bantering when Lae'zel lost her temper. "I'm done with you" She pulled out her knife menacingly, a good way to keep Gale in check when he would cling.

She pointed the knife towards Astarion first. "Tck, you take your stuff to Tav" She ordered, everyone's eyes were wide as they witnessed how she put them in check. Then she pointed the blade towards Gale, not a second of hesitation in her voice. "You sleep with me. You take the bed, I take the floor." She didn't wait for anyone's opinion, she picked up her belongings and disappeared behind a door.

You could still hear her complaining through the closed door. "Tchk, I don't like beds anyways, they are too soft"

Deep down you appreciated what she did, she understood more than what she gave away, and you would have to thank her one of those nights.

Everyone looked at each other speechless, before taking their turn to leave. It was an odd silence, a rare occurrence in your not so little marry-band. 

The room was definitely better than what you could see from a glimpse. It wasn't big, but the bed was big enough to fit you and Astarion comfortably, while the partition was just enough to create a nice bathing corner.

The bed was made with a set of linen sheets, and covered with a thick duvet to fight the cold of the shadow-cursed lands.

You dropped your bag on the right side of the bed before making a beeline to the tub. You spent a solid two weeks only in the underdark, the lack of water to wash you was agony.

You made good use of your magic by filling the tub with it, and keeping it warm. You labeled create bonfire useless a long time ago, when you noticed it was not enough to even roast a goblin, but it worked wonders for baths when you were short on time.

You were quick to discard your clothes and sink in the hot water, the steam coated the mirror in the room, as you allowed the water to caress your body.

Only a few minutes in the water passed by, and you realized how exhausted you were. Your movements were slow as you scrubbed away the dirt and sweat from your skin. You untied your hair, finally relaxing your sore scalp as you took your time massaging in your shampoo.

You wanted to go out for dinner, but when you put on your clean clothes, and tucked yourself under the comforter, that inevitable loneliness started growing thick on your body.

You wrapped your arms around your pillow as for a moment you wanted to disappear. Though you didn't want to move from there, you grabbed a book from your bag, your mage hand opening it and holding it for you as you tried to get distracted.

What was worse than being touch starved and in severe need of affection? Picking up the wrong book.

A fantastical love story between gods. If the book could make Umberlee and Valkur fall in love and find balance then why were you still alone?

You wondered if your parents angered a god when they were younger, and as a curse you ended up being shadowed by the incessant feeling of loneliness. 

As Umberlee cradled against Valkur's chest, you couldn't take it anymore. You dispelled the hand, letting the book drop down on the bed, careless if you lost the page you were at.

Your eyes pooled with the familiar salty tears, that night in particular it felt harder to shield yourself from the pain. So before you could fully have control of your body, the warm tears were flowing out like a river. 

It was your routine, in a way, to just let everything out at night instead of bottling it up, though the warmth of the comforter was not enough to satiate the warmth you wish hugged your body, yet you still tried your best to imagine it was a warm body that was pressed against yours. A soft hug that was trying to shield you from the outside. A whisper that reminded you it was okay to feel like this. Yet at the end of the day, you simply hid behind the delusion.

You didn't know how long you stayed there, in that fetal position you couldn't help but ball yourself into. Even after you finished all your tears and all that was left of it was the stains on your cheeks and your wet pillow, before Astarion appeared from the door, you were still cradled in that position.

You didn't speak or move, you just sunk a little more under the duvet.

"I noticed you didn't join everyone for dinner." He walked to your side of the bed, you couldn't see him but you could follow his footsteps before feeling his cold hand tap on your shoulder. 

"So I brought you some food" His voice was a whisper, as he slowly looked around the room, and then to you. Trying to catch what was going on. Insight check: succeeded.

"I know you are not feeling well, darling." He sat on the side of the bed, his hand gently swiping away a lock of your hair so he could catch a glimpse of your face. "But you need to eat something" This was a side of Astarion which you rarely had the chance to see, it was reserved for those nights where you allowed him to drink from you: the ever so soft touch and a voice that felt raw, more.. intimate. It was something that always made you cry later when you'd be alone, the closest you've been to that kind of physical touch you missed so much.

So many nights you wondered if he would be this soft with everyone he'd bed, until he admitted he didn't know how to be kind, caring, sweet, if not for show, and he wanted to give you some kindness back. 

You risked so much for him, including your neck, so he wanted to give you back at least a soft touch before leaving you to sleep, or the closest thing to some affection that he could manage.

So whenever he'd give you even the smallest of touches, you'd bask in it, taking as much as you could even from those small interactions.

His voice shook you from your thoughts again, his thumb swiped away a tear you didn't know you were shedding.

"My darling, what's going on?" You could feel the concern snicker between the honeyed words, trying to coax an answer from your quivering lips.

You wanted to find an excuse, something that would be much more serious than feeling lonely, yet all you said was that last word, a pained croak that escaped your lips.

Your heart clenched tightly as he hesitated just for a moment, wondering how much he could do to help you, without scaring you away.

But then he sat up, he took off the outer layer of his clothes, almost making you wonder if he already brushed your pained confession aside. He quickly reached in his bag for his nightshirt and made his way under the duvet.

He didn’t forget, at all.

With his face to yours he leaned forward, his palm touching your warm cheek as he finally could see you better. You tilted your head, almost silently begging for that innocent touch. Yearning for it.

His thumbs slowly dried your skin, catching the tears that would spill.

You both laid there in silence, you closed your eyes to avoid his stare, which was concentrated in taking in your shivering body.

"I understand," He whispered, almost as if they were hiding from someone. "I feel lonely too, every night" His voice was just like a caress against your ears, though it hid your same pain.

You wanted to say something, but no words would come out. The tadpole in your head squirmed, reminding you of its abilities just for a second.

Astarion didn't hesitate nor forced you out as you probed his mind, and when you were safely tucked in there, you just allowed your thoughts to flow free. Your every emotion spilling like a cup of coffee on the floor, even- accidentally- some of those memories of the loneliest nights where you just wanted to give up.

As soon as you slipped out from his brain, you sunk your head in your pillow, trying to hide those tears that you were starting to hate so much.

You couldn't comprehend what was happening at first, until your warm skin met with Astarion's cold chest. His arms held you close as he waited for you to raise your eyes to his.

He didn't know what he was about to say or do, he just allowed his dead and touch-starved heart to take control. 

Your gazes mixed in the middle, the veil that usually covered his emotions was pulled away, exposing his own hurt, his own need for affection, before his words struck you.

It was the occasional broken syllables that caught your ear, the way his mouth twitched and twisted before finishing a sentence, and the way his body would stiffen as he'd almost felt like a plea. It was not just to comfort you that he did whatever he did, it was for him as well.

He needed it just as much as you did.

His words would still echo in your brain whenever he'd caress your cheek. 

"Let's pretend just for a few hours that we are okay, that we fell in love. Let's pretend to be vulnerable. I'll be here pretending until you need me to, cause at the end of the day, we both deserve to feel loved, even if only for a split second. Let's pretend we are not alone." It was something between a hopeful proposal and a sad begging, something that reverberated through you like nothing has ever done before. His eyes were barely open as he still held you, you could tell from the way his fingers lingered on your exposed skin that he was taking the most out of this, for the eventuality that you'd move away from your grasp.

Instead you leaned completely against him, your head resting against his chest as you nodded.

His body softened around yours, his legs intertwining with yours as he'd place a kiss on your head.

[thehollowwriter]

*Skerks down the hallway like a cat coming down with zoomies* I heard you were doing Rollo fluff only requests, so I jumped into your ask box IMMEDIATELY. Do you think you could do some bed-time snuggles with him? I just want to cuddle this obviously touched-starved, emotionally repressed twink so bad you don't even KNOW. He'd probably say he isn't touch starved, that he's only does this because you seem to enjoy it, but then we'd wake up the next morning with half his weight on top of us and him clinging like a desperate koala and refusing to let go. No obsession, no sexual undertones, just a depressed man finding solace in a soft bed, thick blankets, and the warmth of another's arms, finding the peaceful sleep he hasn't know for years.

Aaah this is so cute! Thank you for this anon! ^^

Summary: You convince Rollo to get some well needed sleep. Cuddles ensue.

Warnings: None

(Pls reblog and leave a comment ❤)

In Your Grasp

The first thing that came to your mind when you laid eyes on Rollo Flamme was "wow, he needs some sleep."

It wasn't an unusual conclusion. Many people thought the same. The intense gaze of his dark green eyes were just as tired as it was intense. His posture and mannerisms, slow and lethargic as they were prim and proper.

Now, the both of you were dating. It was many months after the events of the masquerade and that thought hasn't changed.

Still, after all this time, the large bags under Rollo's eyes remained.

Rollo was a hard worker and a busybody who rarely gave himself a break. He often stayed up late or even all night in order to get whatever he wanted done, whether it be studying, homework, paperwork for his fellow students or chores.

You knew that he avoided going to bed because he struggled to sleep. He had told you once, during a quiet moment together, that simply laying there alone with his thoughts and nothing to distract him led to thinking about his brother, which in turn led to nightmares plaguing the few moments of sleep he did experience.

While you did sympathise with this, sitting on the edge of his bed watching him fight to stay awake and complete his work made you decide it was time to stop him.

"Rollo," You said softly, taking the paper from his hands. "Rollo you need to go to bed. It's late."

Your words were met with a huff and a dismissive hand wave. "I'm not tired. You should go to bed now, though."

"Not tired? Rollo, look at yourself. You're about to keel over. You drifted off at least twice."

At Rollo's silent, almost disbelieving stare, you sighed. "Let me stay here with you tonight. We can lie together until you fall asleep."

There was a moment were Rollo didn't react, his tired brain taking a pause to process your words. When it did, his eyes widened and his cheeks turned pink.

"T-Together?" He stammered. "My flame, I-I am not sure about that."

"Don't worry about it," You assured him smiling. "It'll be nice. Besides." You gestured to his large bed tucked into the corner of the room. "There's plenty of space so we won't annoy each other."

Rollo, still pink, looked at you, then at the bed, then his work and then at you again. He gazed at the paper in your hands, squinting.

The words looked blurry. His head was fuzzy. His eyes hurt. He felt heavy.

"Alright," He relented with a sigh. "Let me get ready and I'll... I'll join you in a few minutes."

You, already in your pajamas, sighed in relief and gently kissed his cheek. "I'll be waiting for you." You said, moving to nestle under the blankets.

Rollo set his work aside and and began to get ready for bed, his cheeks burning a much brighter red at the thought of sharing a bed with you.

He blinked, staring to the mirror as he removed his make up, a million flustered thoughts whirling through his mind.

Sleeping... together? In the same bed? Next to you and your warm soft self? You, likely to sleep far more fitfully than he ever would?

Surely, you would rather sleep in your own bed? The one you were familiar with in feeling, scent and comfort? Your room wasn't far from his, it wasn't a long trip and he could walk with you.

Rollo was standing next to his bed in his pajamas before his mind caught up with him and the flustered thoughts began to dissipate.

Still red and unsure, he simply stood there with his hands at his sides and his eyebrows furrowed, looking between you and his bed.

After two excruciating minutes, Rollo carefully lifted the black, royal purple and wine red covers and climbed in next to you. He was stiff and awkward in his movement, biting his lip almost as if he was embarrassed.

He lay in his back, and stared at the dark ceiling with exhausted dark green eyes. Stubbornly, they refused to shut long enough to let him sleep, flying open at the images that would flash behind his eyelids.

It was just like always.

Alone, in the oppressive silence of his room, images of his brother and Rollo's own failure to rip magic from the world dominated his psyche, making his breath catch in his throat and his mouth open in a silent gasp.

No... no that wasn't quite right. He wasn't alone. You were right next to him, huddled under the blankets and facing towards.

"Mon chéri," Rollo began before he could stop himself. "May we... talk? Please?"

Please. Anything to fill the dreadful silence weighing down on him, suffocating him. Please please please please please-

"Sure," You said, and he could hear the smile in your voice. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything." It took every bit of willpower Rollo had to avoid sounding as desperate as he felt. "I don't mind."

He could feel your gaze, brimming with concern, burning into you.

"Why don't you tell me about your day?" You asked after a pause. "I remember you looked like you wanted to throttle someone earlier. Who was the poor fool this time?"

Rollo let out a breath and rolled his eyes. "Today was... fine. Things were going smoothly despite that idiot Solomon's best efforts. It's impossible to get anything done when he's always glued to his phone..."

His voice flowed into the silence and was soon joined by yours. You shifted from one topic to another, talking about anything and everything. Rollo hung onto your every word, and you returned the gesture.

Slowly, Rollo shifted closer to you, pressing against you and taking hold of your hand in a tight grip. You wrapped your arm around him and his stiff body relaxed a little, comforted by your touch.

It was late when you realised Rollo had stopped speaking. You looked to your side to find him resting his head on your shoulder, eyes closed and chest gently rising and falling.

You smiled at the sight and gently kissed the top of his head.

"Goodnight, Rollo." You murmured. Your own eyes slid shut and slowly the world began to fade away.

***

Gentle golden beams of sunlight filtering through the curtains caused your eyes to flutter open and blink away the sleep.

Stiff and uncomfortable, you tried to turn over and stretch, only to find you couldn't move. Something heavy was weighing you down.

It took a few moments, but your tired mind eventually registered that it was in fact Rollo keeping you pinned on your side.

Rollo had his face buried in your neck and his arms wrapped around you as tightly as possible. His legs were tangled with yours, the position ensuring he was pressed as tightly against you as possible, holding you as if he were afraid you would disappear.

Despite your discomfort, you hadn't the heart to move him. He looked serene, a rare expression to see on his face. You chuckled and gently threaded your fingers through his short white hair, kissing his temple.

"I love you, Rollo."

......................................

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! I got excited writing this, so it'd about 1k words in length urugututur

Tagging: @distant-velleity

[aylacavebear]

She Thought She was Normal

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine

Word Count: 2131

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will eventually be 18+!

Warnings: Alcoholism, Hustling Pool, Injuries

----------------------------------------- Chapter 9

Maria spent the next three years traveling across the country, torturing numerous demons trying to get any information on the yellow-eyed demon that had taken her parents from her, but not one of them gave anything up.

Maria had changed the paint job on her father’s truck, her truck, to all black, wanting it to blend in as much as possible. She’d also given it a few upgrades over the years; better gas mileage and tweaked it so that it could go faster than it used to. She’d also installed a lock box in the bed of the truck where she kept her hunting supplies, as well as other supplies like spare clothes.

The nightmares had mostly stopped at this point, as had her grief. She hadn’t coped with it in the healthiest of ways, killing every monster she came across and finding solace at the bottom of a bottle most nights, whiskey her choice of numbing poison. Maria found that she had a knack for playing pool as well, eventually getting good enough to win games and become quite the pool shark. She used the money for motel rooms when she felt the need for a bed and a hot shower.

She’d found herself back in Sioux Falls, South Dakota one day in late August, driving with no particular destination in mind at the time. When she saw the familiar buildings from a life that seemed to have almost been a dream, she sighed as she turned down a side street, mindlessly heading to her Uncles, more muscle memory than anything. 

His place looked the same as she’d remembered it as she pulled into the driveway, turning off the engine. She hadn’t spoken to him since that night they’d burned her father’s body, the memory played in her mind for a moment of the night she’d driven away. A heavy sigh left her lips as she got out of her truck.

“Maria?” a voice asked from the doorway of his house.

She’d been looking at the ground, moving somewhat slowly when she heard his voice, “Hey Uncle Bobby,” she said with a small smile as she looked up at him.

For a moment all he could do was stare at her, relief, shock, anger, and curiosity all mixed in his expression. She was an adult now, twenty, and her birthday was only a few months away. She was in front of him, embracing him in a hug before he could even speak, “Sorry I never called,” she told him quietly.

“I’m just glad you’re okay, kid,” he told her, hugging her back before the two went inside, “How you been?” he asked.

They sat in his living room, spending the next several hours catching each other up on their lives over the time she’d been gone. He didn’t even mind her having a couple of beers while he drank whiskey. When she excused herself, he called John, asking him to pass along to the boys that she had shown up at his place and was okay. It was the least he could do, knowing they’d been just as worried as he had been. John thanked him and agreed before the two hung up. Bobby debated asking her about the book she’d taken out of his safe but chose not to. He had also chosen to keep the package that had shown up at his doorstep four months after she disappeared, a secret as well. The instructions stated not to give it to her until she was twenty-one.

“So, you get a new number?” he asked when she returned.

“Yeah. I’ll leave it with you before I head out tonight,” she replied, sitting down on the couch and getting comfortable again.

“You’re not staying?” he asked, sighing.

“No. Heard about a werewolf a couple states over,” she replied casually, sipping her beer.

“Can you make me a promise kid?” he asked, looking over at her.

“What’s that?” she said, tilting her head a bit.

“Will you at least stop by again, for your next birthday? You’ll be twenty-one. Least I can do is get you something,” he replied with a small smile.

“I don’t see why not,” she chuckled.

“Wish you were staying longer,” he sighed.

“I’ll try not to be such a stranger,” she replied, looking out into the room at nothing in particular.

“You still didn’t promise,” he told her, raising an eyebrow.

She looked over at him and rolled her eyes, “Fine, Uncle Bobby, I promise I’ll be here on my twenty-first birthday,” she said, slightly sarcastically, but had meant it.

That had at least made Bobby feel better. He knew she’d keep her word, or at least hoped she would. She stopped drinking once her beer was gone though, needing to sober up before she headed out in a couple hours. Maria enjoyed getting to catch up with her Uncle and was thankful none of the Winchesters were there, wanting to leave before they had a chance to show up, even if they had no intentions to. 

The two bid each other farewell before she drove away while Bobby watched her from the driveway. He could tell she had shut her emotions away and had pulled away from everyone she’d known, even after three years. She’d left out how she’d turned to whiskey most nights, drowning out the memories and the pain just so she could sleep without the nightmares of that week. She hadn’t wanted him to worry but had no idea he saw through the facade she had put on in his presence. He didn’t know the details, but he’d been through enough grief in his life to have an idea of how she was coping with it. 

She took care of the werewolf, barely breaking a sweat, but was glad she’d gotten a motel room for the night. It had been an easy enough kill but the blood splatter required a shower and a change of clothes. As she sat on the bed, brushing her damp hair, her mind wandered to Sammy and Dean for a moment. She hadn’t thought about them since that night. Her gaze fell on nothing as she remembered the two of them, briefly curious as to what they were up to. A small smile came to her face, thankful she hadn’t asked her Uncle for their numbers. 

“Another day, another dead monster,” she said quietly before heading to bed for the night.

Over the next several months, past the holidays and into the new year, she was still interrogating demons for any clue on the yellow-eyed demon. She wanted to know not only who he was but what he was, knowing he wasn’t a normal demon. Maria also took care of random cases along the way. Her phone though, had gotten destroyed on the last case she took, and that wasn’t the only thing that had taken a bit of a beating. 

She groaned as she pulled off her flannel, then her shirt, barely able to raise her arm high enough to get it off after fixing her other dislocated shoulder against the motel wall. Her other arm had a gash four inches long on it. Thankfully it wasn’t deep. She went to the bathroom to clean up her wounds. As she glanced in the mirror she noticed the bruise forming on her cheek and her split lip.

“Stupid demon,” she grumbled as she turned on the warm water and grabbed a washcloth.

Maria cleaned up her wounds before bandaging her arm. Her whole body was sore after that fight and all she wanted to do was sleep, not even having the energy to drink that night. 

Again, she’d lost track of time, completely forgetting her promise to her Uncle, following yet another lead on the yellow-eyed demon. Before she knew it, another almost two years had passed. She was twenty-three, only a couple of months before her twenty-fourth birthday, and found herself in Palo Alto, California. The drive she had been on had been a long one so she got a motel room for the night before heading to the local bar near the college. 

It was a Friday night and the place was packed with college kids, most of them around her age. She wasn’t paying much attention to any of them when she heard a voice to her left, “Sis?’

She felt goosebumps run down her body hearing that word before she turned to look at the man who had spoken to her. His hair was short, but also with a little length to it, and even with his age, she saw that little twelve-year-old boy in his eyes, “Little brother?” she asked, wanting to make sure.

He smiled and fought back tears at seeing her. There was no mistaking that jet-black hair of hers, even if it was longer now, laying over a red flannel, even if it wasn’t the same one from their childhood, “How have you been?” he asked, pulling her up and into a hug. 

She was a bit shocked at his strength and his height. He was almost a foot taller than she was now when he’d always been shorter than her before.

“Who’s this?” a female voice said before Maria could answer his question.

Sam let her go, and wiped away the couple of tears near his eyes as he put his arm around the woman who was now next to him, “Jessica, this is Maria, my little sister,” he told her.

Jessica smiled at her, “I’ve heard a lot about you,” she told Maria before she pulled her into a hug.

Maria was surprised but hugged the woman back, “Uh, nice to meet you,” Maria replied, before she pulled away from the hug, fighting all the emotions that had begun to surface.

Sam kissed Jessica on the cheek as Maria just watched the two of them curiously for a moment before the woman walked over to a group of people a few tables away, “So, how you been sis?” Sam asked her again as he sat down at her table.

“Uh, good…” she replied before she too sat down across from him and looked up at him.

“What brings you to Cali?” he asked her, sipping the beer he’d brought over with him.

“Honestly, not sure really. I was just driving and needed to stop for the night,” she replied, and glanced around the bar, looking for his brother and father.

“They’re not here,” he told her, figuring out quickly who she was looking for.

She looked back at him and tilted her head a bit, confused, “You’re hunting alone?” she asked.

Sam laughed a bit at that one, “I stopped hunting. I’m going to college to be a lawyer,” he told her, “Jess is the love of my life,” he added, looking over at the woman and smiling.

Maria glanced at her before looking back at Sam, “Well, you’re smart enough for it,” she chuckled.

Jessica gave the two space for the night as they caught up on each other’s lives. Sam explained that he and John had gotten into numerous fights over the last few years when it came to Sam wanting to go to college and stop hunting. It had eventually boiled over to where John had told him that if he left, he wasn’t to come back, and he hadn’t looked back, especially after he’d met Jessica, whom he called Jess.

Maria stayed in town over the weekend, hanging out with both Sam and Jess. It was a feeling of family she hadn’t had in a long time and the two easily slipped back into their routine of being siblings. Sam had explained that he hadn’t even spoken to his brother or father since he left. That had made her feel a little more comfortable about staying the weekend. Jess had taken several pictures with her phone of the two of them, and even some with the three of them. Sunday night had come too quickly for the three of them as they said their goodbyes. Sam made sure to write his number down for her and hide it in her glove box, even if she had programmed it into her phone.

“Hey, come back by around Halloween. I’m taking my tests next semester and it’d be nice to see you again,” Sam told her while she sat in the driver's seat of her truck.

“I’ll do my best, but I’m not making any promises,” she replied, chuckling a little.

“And next time, you can stay with me and Jess. She adores you,” he chuckled.

She rolled her eyes, “We’ll see, okay?” she replied.

“Yeah, we’ll see,” he said before she drove off, heading who knew where to fight god only knew what.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 10

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @kazsrm67

Link to the master list for this story.

[softtransbf]

started thinking about how i met garthy, this started writing itself. i might write us actually getting together as well at some point, but like. this is already 1200 words lol

-

"Get out. I don't care where you go, just leave, and don't come back. If you set foot in Solace again, I'll know, and nothing will be able to stop me or help you."

Those words, full of pure disgust and hatred, ran through Quint's head on repeat as he ran to the port and booked a ticket on whatever ship was leaving next. He didn't care where it was going; he'd figure it out when he got there.

He checked his ticket; he'd bought a one-way trip to Leviathan. Huh. Well, I did want to be a pirate as a kid, and no one there is gonna ask any questions. Anchors aweigh, I guess.

-

He was far from the only person on the ship, but he passed the three day voyage in complete silence. Instead of socializing, he was thinking about everything that had led him here, reading all the information on Leviathan he'd been able to download before losing signal to his crystal, and considering what his next steps might be.

The days passed fairly quickly, and soon it was time to disembark. Sticking with his plan, he kept his head down and headed towards the Gold Gardens.

He walked into the bar and took a seat at the empty counter. It was pretty busy, but a few moments later, the bartender, a friendly looking, stout, middle-aged woman, came up to him.

"Good afternoon, I'm Suzie McGraw. What can I getcha?"

"Hey, there. Can I get a mead, and, uh, who do I talk to about a room?"

"That'd be me as well. We've got three options- basic room for 2 gold a night, moderate accommodations are 10, and there's luxury suites for 50. All come with a free tattoo, which you can get at your leisure."

He took a deep drink and considered the options. "Mmm, this mead is delicious. Yeah, can I get a basic room?"

Suzie nodded. "'Course you can. May I ask how long you'll be stayin'?"

"You can ask," he sighed, "but I don't have an answer. Not yet, at least. Is that an issue?"

She smiled and shook her head. "Not at all. Everyone's welcome here as long as they'd like. Not like the books are in any sort of order even if that weren't the case. I'll be right back with that room key for ya." Before he could respond, she turned and walked away.

A couple minutes later, she came back, gave him the key and room number, and poured him another drink.

"Thanks, Suzie."

"My pleasure. Enjoy your stay here, yeah?" He nodded, and she moved on to the next patron.

He took his drink and found an empty table in a far corner of the room. He sat there for... he wasn't sure how long he sat there, nursing his drink. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the person walking up to him until they spoke with the most beautiful voice he'd ever heard.

"Well, well, well, I heard a little Solesian bird flew in today. Welcome to the Gold Gardens, the name's Garthy."

From his research, Quint knew who Garthy was, but nothing he'd read had prepared him for how beautiful they were. Tall and muscular, with delicate gold tattoos across their entire (shirtless) torso and down their arms. They had a mass of gold bracelets and rings that were just on the elegant side of gaudy.

They were clearly half-orc, but their eyes, entirely black except for gold irises, belied aasimar heritage as well. He noticed two scars on their chest, and he quickly pushed down the pang of envy in his gut and looked down at his drink.

"Garthy O'Brien, right? Impresariex of the Gold Garden, home to every kind of pleasure under the sun and stars. Purveyor of fine goods, especially magic items, and one of the best curse-breakers you can find." Great. Totally normal first thing to say to someone. Absolutely killing it socially, as always.

To his relief, they smiled and sat down across from him. "Seems you've got me at a disadvantage, darling- you know all that about me, and I don't have as much as your name."

He ran a hand through his hair and looked back up. "Sorry, I don't know why I said all that. I'm Quint. And, uh, yeah, I just got here this morning."

"Quite alright, lovey, I appreciate a man who does his research." They winked, and Quint felt his face flush. His prayers that that would go unnoticed were clearly ignored, as they chuckled. "Adorable. Now, I heard you seemed a bit distressed about not knowing how long you'd be here.

Obviously, everyone has their stories, and you don't have to answer if you don't want, but I do hate the thought of anyone here being distressed at all. What brings you through my doors, so far from home?"

He slammed back the rest of his drink. "Solace was never home. It just took me a while to figure that out, and the first ticket out was Leviathan-bound." As he talked, Garthy gestured to a waiter, who immediately appeared with two drinks. He took a sip; it was a hard liquor he didn't recognize. He downed that drink as well and kept talking. "And by all accounts, if you're looking to forget, there's no better place than the Gold Gardens."

A knowing look crossed their face. "Glad to hear the Gardens' reputation is still as it should be. If you don't mind my asking, had you left Solace before?" He laughed, a little too hard.

"Nope! 25 years old, and I'd never even left Bastion City. Didn't intend to, either. Was gonna get a nice little office job, keep my head down, live a quiet, human, non-magical life. But, hey, that's life, right? Nothing ever goes as planned."

"I'll drink to that, love." They finished their drink as well. "Well, if you decide you'd like to stick around for a bit, there aren't exactly offices on Leviathan, but our books are in dire need of keeping. Pay's fair and moderate lodging is free. Think about it and let me know, yeah?"

"You- you're offering me a job? We just met; you don't know me."

They scooted closer, put a hand on his, and looked deep into his eyes; he prayed no one had Detect Thoughts active. "Lovey, I run, amongst other things, a brothel on an island full of pirates. I'd be no good at my job if I wasn't an excellent judge of character. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel some amount of protective responsibility towards you. Job's yours if you want it."

Quint took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay, I'll take the job. Thank you so much, Garthy." He lightly squeezed their hand, and they looked down at their joined hands. Admittedly, he was very tipsy, but Quint could have sworn they were smiling just a little bit before they looked back up at him.

"Wonderful to hear, darling. Now, since you're going to be sticking around, let's introduce you to some of my friends, yeah?" They stood up, still holding his hand, and took him over to their usual table, where they were both met with a loud cheer and hearty welcome.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna like it here.

[casspurrjoybell-19]

Does it Matter? - Chapter 62 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

"They don't seem about to start any trouble, whatever their story is. Let's hear what he has to say."

"They do seem..." Dara's mother trailed off, then shook her head. With a sigh, she allowed herself to be led over to the kitchen table where they all sat down.

With a sigh, she allowed herself to be led over to the kitchen table where they all sat down.

As they settled around the table, Dara gathered his thoughts, his hands clasped together in front of him.

"The beginning. I suppose that would be the night they took me," he started, his voice wavering slightly.

"I stopped to help an injured boy and..."

He shrugged, leaving the rest unsaid.

They knew what had happened. Dara's father shook his head.

"You always were too soft-hearted. We'd guessed that was what had happened."

"It was a mistake," Dara admitted, his eyes downcast.

"I sent Kar away. There were too many for her to fight. I don't know what happened to her."

"We can answer that," his father replied, his hand reaching out to give Dara's a comforting squeeze.

"But you should finish your story first."

Dara's heart leapt, a thousand questions about Kar's fate burning on his tongue.

He wanted to demand answers, to know what had become of his faithful companion but as he met his father's steady gaze, he swallowed back the words, trusting in his judgement.

With a nod, Dara forced himself to focus on the story he needed to tell, even as his mind raced with thoughts of Kar.

"I was taken with the other Eth they captured. They treated us roughly, kept us in cramped quarters and didn't give us enough food and water," he continued, his voice growing stronger as he recounted his ordeal.

"I was helping where I could, and when our captors noticed, when they saw that I was a healer, everything changed. They took me away from the others and suddenly I was being treated kindly, all my needs met. They have an understanding of healers and how one can break, you see."

"Of course," his father murmured, a hint of bitterness in his tone.

"Only concerned about their own interests."

"They were but at least it kept me safe... for a time."

Dara's mother clenched her jaw as she looked away, giving a sharp shake of her head.

"Of course they couldn't manage that one forever," she said, her voice tight with anger.

"Not even when it benefited them."

"When I first arrived, they brought me before the king and he decided I would be a surprise gift for his son when he came of age," Dara continued, his eyes distant as he recalled the memory.

"I was to be trained in the villages around the city so that the young prince wouldn't find out about me. At the time, I wondered if that would really be enough to keep rumours of a healer wearing his colours from finding their way back to his ears but now I understand that he was quite isolated in his youth. He didn't have anyone to share such talk with."

"When I was fourteen, I was healing in a smaller village when it was attacked by men from the mountains. They came in fast, hit hard and left little alive. I'll spare you the gory details because I don't wish to recount them,but after that day, my magic eluded me. I was traumatised. They gave me some time to heal but when I continued to be useless, I was brushed aside and left to do simple labour."

"It's what they deserve," his mother said, her voice hard and unforgiving.

"A healer's magic is a great gift. They were lucky they got what use of it they did."

"I'm not sure I felt that way about the people I healed back then. They were simple people, often children. They weren't my captors."

His mother's eyes flashed with anger.

"How many of them argued for your freedom?" she demanded.

"How many of them refused to make use of something that wasn't freely given?"

"None, perhaps," Dara conceded.

"But I felt many die that day and I can tell you that I found no solace in it but anyway, they are but a small part of this story buried deep in my past. The more important player entered this tale just weeks ago now. The prince, whose faded colours I still wore, visited the castle."

His mother's expression tightened, her lips pressing into a thin line.

"You're right. We have bigger people to hate than some peasants."

"I understand the compulsion to hate, believe me but when he saw that I was being mistreated, he decided to take me with him when he left. He was kind and with time, I was able to reconnect with my magic."

His mother gave a sharp shake of her head, disbelief etched in every line of her face.

"I don't believe that. It's too nice and how is it that you're here? How did you come to have our horse? None of it makes any sense."

"How we ended up here is a longer story still and not one I'm sure I can fully explain. That other Eth boy with the group is a seer. He has visions that are guiding us. We're out here on something of a mission of faith."

"And 'we' is?" his mother prompted.

"Dara, is one of those men, a prince?"

Dara inclined his head, then grabbed his mother's hand before she could rise from the table.

"Please. He's a good man. He gave me my freedom."

She yanked her hand away, her expression hardening.

"It's a trick. I guarantee it."

"The horse," Dara said, desperation creeping into his tone as she started towards the door.

"He gave her to me but originally, she was his. They found her, lost and he earnt her trust."

That halted her in her tracks.

She turned slowly, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"The prince of Perisia rode that horse?"

"He managed it somehow."

She considered him for a moment, then gave a sharp nod.

"Let's see it, then," she said before turning on her heel and making it the rest of the way to the door.

Dara hurried to catch up with her.

There was no fear in his mother as she strode outside and over to where the men were watering their horses near the barn.

She held her chin high, her voice ringing out clear and strong.

"Which one of you is the Prince of Perisia?"

Maric immediately clamped a hand down on Brayan's shoulder, stopping him before he could bristle at her tone.

"That would be me," he said, stepping forward with a calm confidence.

"You've ridden the yenkarth horse?"

"I have," Maric replied, his words measured as he tried to gauge her intentions.

"But I didn't steal her. I found her. If I had known where her home was, I would have returned her without hesitation."

Dara's mother's eyes narrowed, her voice taking on a sharp edge.

"It's one thing to claim you've ridden a yenkarth but it's another to actually do it. If you're as skilled as you say, prove it."

She pointed a finger towards Farah, her challenge unmistakable.

"Mount the horse."

Maric inclined his head.

"As you wish."

The simplicity of his response seemed to catch her off guard, the grand challenge in her tone falling flat as Maric calmly took Farah by the reins and led her over.

The horse stood still, allowing him to mount without protest.

At Maric's gentle direction, she walked in a circle, her movements fluid and obedient.

Dara's father let out a hearty laugh, shaking his head in wonder.

"A sight like that makes you doubt your doubts."

Dara's mother, however, looked less amused.

"Where did you learn to handle an animal like that?"

As Maric dismounted with practiced ease, he gave a small shrug.

"From her, I suppose. She didn't come around easily, I can assure you of that. For a long time, she just followed us to steal food from our horses and she made it abundantly clear that getting near her was a dangerous prospect but with time, patience and plenty of treats, she eventually decided I wasn't so bad."

"If it were to be any of them, it would be her," Dara's mother conceded grudgingly.

"She was always more tolerant than the others. Good with kids. That's how she went missing in the first place. She was with a couple of kids... cousins Dara hasn't even met yet... when there was another attack. The kids got away on another horse while Kaerth... that's her actual name, by the way... stood her ground and fought. We always assumed she'd died that day, a sort of poetic debt paid on behalf of her mother for not doing the same to protect Dara."

The implications of her words hit Dara like a physical blow, stealing the breath from his lungs.

"Wait," he managed to choke out.

"Are you saying... did Kar survive?"

[tasam1075]

Letter from Death Row

Jeff just sat there looking at the envelope that was sitting on his desk, the envelope that had been sitting there for over a week.

He still wasn't sure if he could bring himself to read this latest letter from Scott, the previous letters had all, virtually, reduced him to tears at the depths of despair and hopelessness being faced by his son, especially when there was nothing he could do prevent Scott's descent into severe clinical depression.

Scott's letter to Chloe was safely stored in his safe, just waiting for her to decide what she wanted to do.

Virgil still remained unaware of it's existence, if he knew that there was a letter to Chloe from Scott he'd demand that it be destroyed - just like he'd destroyed his own letter (without even opening it)

He didn't know how his other sons had reacted to their letters and he was almost afraid to ask, would they follow Virgil's example and just destroy their letters or did they still care enough to read what Scott had written?

With a deep intake of breath, and no small amount of trepidation he opened the envelope and began to read.

Dad

There's so much that I need to say but I don't even know where to start.

I want to say that everything's going to be fine but we both know that things will never be fine again, for anyone.

I keep thinking about my last good memory, before my life became the never-ending nightmare that's now my existence.

The smile on Becky's face when she gave me the scan image (she did look almost terrified though, we hadn't planned for children until after the wedding).

The realisation that I was going to be a father, to have a baby alongside my beautiful Queen made me the happiest man alive.

My last moment of true happiness, able to look forward to a future with hope and joy.

Now all I have left are shattered images and fragmented memories, vague impressions of voices and darkness, no more good days, no more hope - just loss and despair.

I still see Chloe's look of terror as she tried to protect her sisters, I failed to protect my Angel and that reality still haunts me even now.

I know that I didn't kill Maddie, I remember hearing her call my name as the drugs took hold of me (I'll always be ashamed of my addiction even though I still long for the escape from reality that the drugs have always provided).

The next clear thing I remember is waking up in the hospital, being told that Maddie was dead and that I was under arrest for her murder.

The realisation that no-one believed me, everyone believed that I'd killed two people, was hard to accept.

Even harder was the look on Becky's face as she realised the horrific truth, that drugs had destroyed her life again, that it was all my fault - I had become an addict, she had heard me actually beg for the drugs.

My Queen and I couldn't face her, all I felt was shame, shame at what I'd become (even if all I wanted at the time was the drugs to make the pain go away).

I had betrayed my Queen and there's no way back from that.

You think that after all these years I'd be used to being alone, that I'd just accept that I'll never hear the ocean again, never see a blue sky or even green grass (what does a blue sky look like anyway?), I don't even remember anymore all I ever see is shades of grey.

Maybe I should just stop fighting against the inevitable, Virgil will never ask for clemency for me (part on me still believes that he wants revenge rather than justice), he'll never ask for the death penalty be commuted to life and I just have to accept that.

I understand how he feels but at least he got to say goodbye to Maddie, my Queen and my son are both dead and no-one bothered to tell me until months after their funerals (I don't even know his name, my son and no-one cares enough to tell me his name).

They should have been safe, my only solace was that they were safe.

How could they have been forced to leave their home?

They had nowhere else to go, why did you let them leave?

Without any clemency the only hope of appeal would be Chloe and I can't allow that, I failed to protect my Angel once before but never again.

should have fought more

I have to protect my Angel, nothing else matters - only her safety

Keep Chloe safe, she's all that matters

Once I'm gone she'll be safe

She has to be safe

Don't come anymore, each visit is harder than the last - for both of us

I can't bear to see the pain in your eyes every time you have to leave me here.

I feel that you only persist out of a misplaced sense of duty. I don't think I'm worthy of any more visits anyway.

My brothers have accepted the inevitable and it's time I did the same, I'm never going to leave here alive.

I know that now.

I think that I've always known even if I've been denying it for years, hoping that somehow the truth could finally be heard, that someone would actually believe me. No more appeals,

why continue with a pointless process when it's only going to end in failure.

I can't deal with the false hope anymore,

I'm sorry but I can't carry on like this

Goodbye Dad

I'm sorry for everything,

just forget about me, live your life

Scott

Jeff couldn't stop the tears, as strong as he'd always tried to be for Scott, reading about his son's enduring torment was more than he could bear.

Only the death of his beloved Lucy had left him feeling this helpless, and lost.

He couldn't even turn to Penelope for any advice or solace, the easy friendship that had had briefly let to passion and love had ultimately fallen victim to his continual feelings of betraying his beloved Lucille.

The passion and love had now been replaced strict adherence to duty and responsibility, the relationship now reduced to little more than a matter of essential business formalities, perpetually depriving him of her invaluable wisdom and unique perspective. He couldn't even talk things through with Abigail, she was too busy dealing with Chloe and John, there was no way that he could ask her to help him achieve some sense of peace as well.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

The New Guy In Town

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: I mean none really- the others kinda bully Loki but nothing serious lol

Genre: sort of angst but mostly fluff

Summary: Loki's not having a great time adjusting to living in the Avengers tower

***

Loki hates it here. He hates the Avengers tower. Hates that there are so many of them. Hates that they're always so loud when they eat or hang out or do anything together. Hates that they all look at him like he's a science experiment that they're waiting to go wrong. He hates that on missions he's given a babysitter, whether he goes or doesn't. He hates everything about it here.

"Hi Loki!" You beam at him warmly as you pass him in the tower library.

Loki hates almost everything about it here. Except you. You are kind and sweet to him. You don't treat him like a rabid pet that's going to bite you, you don't act like you're better than him, you don't avoid or ignore him. You're wonderfully skilled with magic too. On top of that, you're intelligent and quick witted, with a silver tongue sharp enough to rival his own. He smiles at your back as he watches you scan bookshelves for whatever it is you're looking for. You're the only person who really uses this place besides Loki, Tony practically built it for you. And thus the library is the one place where he can find solace in this wretched building. When you finally pull something from one of the shelves Loki buries his head in his book again, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Bye Loki." You wave as you leave.

"Yeah." Loki hums in feigned disinterest, though he watches you leave over the top of his book. He's got it bad, worse than he'd ever admit on his own and although it's probably obvious, he can only hope you haven't caught on.

~*~*~

"Loki!" You call out to the god as he walks past the kitchen trying to get back to his room. He stops in his place but doesn't immediately look at you. "Loki, will you join us for breakfast?" You ask him. He sighs inwardly at having to turn down your invitation. At the table with you are Nat, Steve, Sam, Tony, and Thor. Loki knows that not the entire residence of this tower but these ones don't get along with him any better than those who aren't there.

"I'd rather not." He says through clenched teeth.

"Oh come on, please Loki? You never eat with us." You pout. He's not looking at you but he can hear the pout in your voice somehow. "I made pancakes." You add. His shoulders drop as he secedes.

"Very well. I'll join you if you insist." He says sitting next to you.

"Lovely, how many pancakes do you want? Do you want fruit? Juice?-"

"Y/n- I will make my own plate thank you for offering darling." Loki cuts you off with a soft smile and your heart flips a little at his use of the word darling. Your feelings towards Loki are confusing at best. You don't know if you have a crush on him really, or if you're even allowed to. After all, he did try to kill you and your friends a few years ago. But he's been kind to you and he's trying to start over with the team and you want him to feel welcome here.

"You've never offered to make me a plate y/n." Tony scoffs.

"Tony this is your fucking tower, you want someone to make you a plate? Hire someone." You roll your eyes.

"And what about me? I can't just hire someone." Sam says.

"You've got two hands that work just fine don't you Sammy?" You look at him.

"So does he! And he has magic!"

"Loki's new here and I want him to feel welcome, I gave Wanda the same treatment you whiney assholes." You say.

"I think it's great that y/n wants Loki to feel welcome here! If he's to join the team he should feel like he's part of it." Thor announces.

"Thank you Thor! At least you're not all morons." You huff.

"I haven't done anything!" Steve protests.

"Yeah- alright, you're in the clear for now." You shrug.

"Lucky Loki you've got y/n's attention." Nat jokes.

"Shut up Nat. I'm trying to make Loki feel welcome at the tower." You say.

"Remind me again why he's even in the tower?" Sam looks at Loki with contempt.

"Better he join the team than be destroying the city with an alien army trying to rule the world." Steve shrugs.

"Ah yes let the snake into your house so it doesn't bite your outdoor dog." Sam rolls his eyes.

"Shut up Sam." You scoff.

"Oh come on- reindeer games is too pathetic to worry about. If necessary Hulk can smash him again." Tony shrugs.

"Ha- you all speak of him the way my friends on Asgard did. His reputation is quite tarnished there too." Thor chuckles.

"Of course it is. He spends his time losing world domination attempts." Sam says. Loki stands at that.

"Right as much as I'm enjoying this riveting conversation I hate you all and I've had quite enough of your nonsense. Thank you for the invitation y/n but refrain from asking me to join these worthless bugs again. They are not worth my time." Loki says leaving the table. You stare after him with a frown but once he's out of sight you glare at the table.

"I'm going to make your lives absolute hell in training later. What the fuck was that?!" You cross your arms.

"What's the big deal? Not our fault he can't take a joke." Tony rolls his eyes.

"Seriously?! He can't take a joke!? That's your defense?!" You look at Tony incredulously.

"Have you forgotten he nearly destroyed New York?" Sam asks.

"I remember. I was there. The same way I was there when Tony did destroy Sokovia." You say.

"Hey I didn't do it- that was Ultron!" Tony says.

"Ah yes- Ultron, as in the sentient robot that we all warned you not to make because Sokovia is exactly the kind of thing we knew would happen and we could've prevented it if not for your massive fucking ego making you too stubborn to listen." You snap.

"Y/n." Steve says gently.

"I didn't mean for Sokovia to happen- Loki did New York on purpose!" Tony argues.

"Sokovia doesn't fucking exist anymore! New York is still here Tony. On purpose or not only one of you is responsible for the destruction of a country and it's not the one you goons annoyed from the table." You say.

"Y/n I think that's enough." Steve says.

"All I'm saying is that if you guys are going to keep dogging on Loki the way you've been doing, keep the same energy with Tony." You say leaving the kitchen. You can hear Steve chastising the group as you try to track down Loki. There are only two places he would go really, his room or the library. His room is closer so you check there first.

"Loki? It's y/n, are you in there? Can I come in?" You knock on the door. There's a drawn out moment where you wait for a response before the door swings open. Loki looks at you expectantly.

"Look I'm sorry. I didn't know they'd do that. I just wanted you to eat with us. I know living here hasn't been the best and I thought it would be easier for you to adjust if you did like regular things with us." You explain.

"Thank you." He says. He moves from the doorway into his room and you follow him.

"For what? They were awful!" You say exasperatedly as you sit on his bed.

"I heard you, afterwards. Defending me. Thank you for that. You didn't have to." He says.

"You don't deserve their shit. These guys aren't infallible. Nowhere near it. And someone ought to remind them of it. The hero gig doesn't make them superior." You roll your eyes.

"Forgive me if this is- rude but- how in the realms did you end up on this team of buffoons?" Loki asks.

"I've actually known Natasha for a while now, and I'd worked with them a few times over the years but not as a full-fledged member. It's more like a rent-a-super kinda thing. Until Wanda showed up here. They wanted someone who could help her and so I became an Avenger. That was about a year ago." You shrug.

"You're quite different from them." He muses.

"Yeah well- my life hasn't been like any of theirs. Except maybe Nat and Wanda." You say.

"Why are you so interested in my integration to this wretched team anyway?" Loki asks. You blink at him.

"You're here- if you're going to work with the team you should be able to interact with them. This team really doesn't work if everyone doesn't know how to cooperate with each other which is easier if they get along or are at least cordial with each other." You say.

"So- I'm to believe you are kind for kindness sake?" He asks.

"What would you believe if not that?" You ask. Loki pauses for a moment and to your surprise there's a slight tinge of pink developing on his pale cheeks.

"I- nothing I suppose." He says sitting on the bed with you, but a decent distance away.

"Loki, what is it?" You frown.

"I find it hard to believe that you're just nice for the sake of being nice. That's all." He says.

"Why? Because you almost destroyed New York? I can't be any meaner to you than to Tony. He's destroyed an entire country. Not to mention his contribution to war efforts doing even more damage." You roll your eyes.

"What happened to everyone getting along?" Loki smirks.

"Tony and I get along just fine for what we do together. But I'm also the only person in this tower who will call him out at every turn. Stevie does too sometimes but he tries to avoid internal conflict more than me." You shrug.

"That redhead made a comment about me having your attention."

"Because Natasha likes to annoy me."

"Well- your friends are eating breakfast together, and yet you're in here with me." Loki muses.

"You're prodding Loki. Something you wanna know? You can just ask you know. That'll be much quicker." You lean over to nudge him, though the distance between you makes the action a bit awkward.

"Oh darling if I were prodding do you believe I'd be so obvious?"

"Is it naive to think you let your facade down more around me?" You ask instead.

"Facade?" Loki looks at you.

"I don't think you're as cold as you pretend to be. You're so kind to me, it's hard to believe that's all a lie." You say.

"It's not." He says quickly.

"So it's safe to assume that other walls may come down when the coldness does." You say.

"I wouldn't go that far." Loki says.

"Okay." You shrug.

"Okay? That's it? You're not going to try and prove your point?"

"No. If you say you're just nice to me then I'll let it go." You say.

"You don't want to know why the God of Mischief is kinder to you than anyone else?"

"Does the God of Mischief want to tell me why he's nicer to me than anyone else?"

"Most people would assume I was doing it to get something from you." Loki says.

"Well are you?" You ask.

"No!" He frowns.

"I believe you." You nod.

"You do?"

"Do you think I'm nice to you to get something out of you?" You ask.

"You don't seem like the type." Loki shakes his head.

"Okay I'll bite- why are you so nice to me?" You ask.

"I- I like you I suppose." He shrugs. You giggle.

"Gee thanks, I like you too." You say.

"No I mean-" Loki sighs.

"Loki?" You blink.

"Nevermind. You should go. We've wasted enough time." Loki stands.

"Wait, Loki, stop. Tell me what's going on." You frown grabbing his arm.

"Nothing." He pulls away from you.

"Loki." You cross your arms with a deep frown. "I don't get it, did me laughing make you upset?" You ask.

"No. I'm not upset. I've just changed my mind." He shrugs.

"Loki." You stare at him. The moment drags on for several minutes until he eventually huffs in defeat.

"When I say I like you I mean I like you as in I'm taken with you." He says.

"Oh-" you gasp.

"I told you, you should just go." He says.

"Loki- wait a second. Are you going to give me a chance to process this? To respond?" You say with a slight chuckle to lighten the mood.

"If this is amusing you, I would rather you process it elsewhere." Loki snaps.

"I'm sorry for laughing Loki- I'm not laughing at you, I promise. I'm just- well it's not every day you learn the god of mischief has a crush on you." You tell him.

"Do not refer to this as something as trivial as a crush. We are not school children."

"Okay let's get the easy part out of the way here- I like you too Loki, so you can drop your defenses. I'm not going to throw your confession back in your face." You say.

"Oh- you do?" Loki blinks at you. You chuckle at his surprise and walk over to him.

"You had to have suspected something Loki- why else ask why I'm so nice to you?"

"Well- I had my suspicions I suppose. Though- given my reputation, it's hard to believe someone as kind as you would fall for a snake in the grass." He says.

"Well, do you plan to bite me, snake?" You ask with a small smile.

"Would a snake tell you the truth if he planned to bite you?" Loki asks instead.

"I think this snake would." You say tapping his chest. "If he's as taken as he claims."

"More so." Loki says.

"You're more forthcoming than I would've expected."

"I've nothing to lose by being honest with you."

"Well- what do we do now?" You ask.

"I suppose the next step is for me to court you- yes? I'll take you on a date. Tomorrow night." He says

"So soon?"

"Absolutely. I'd say tonight but I'm sure you already have plans." He shrugs.

"Okay- okay tomorrow night."

"Perfect. I'll come find you once it's time to go." He says.

"Alright- now if you'll excuse me I- have to go and teach some knuckleheads to watch how they fucking act by drilling them into the ground at training." You smile. Loki chuckles.

"Oh- you've got a bit of a snake inside you huh?"

"Maybe. I promised them they'd pay for being assholes so- gotta keep good on that." You shrug.

"Tell me all about it later?" Loki smiles at you.

"Oh I will. See ya." You say, saving your own beaming smile for after you've left his room.

Looks like your feelings for Loki weren't as complicated as you thought they were.

***

[majestyeverlasting]

hey, I absolutely love your writing!!!❤️

Can you maybe write a Bucky x reader with the fluffy prompt 31?

(the reader is afraid of something and she lashes out on Bucky... like she rambles on, and on to Bucky so that she runs out of breath... and Bucky forces her into a hug, which she eventually relaxes into and then tells her the promt)

If you can't write this, I'll totally understand... enjoy your day🌼🌼

♡ Hi! Thank you, I'm happy to hear that you like my writing! I love this request, and hope I was able to capture the essence of what you wanted. I know you've been waiting, so thanks for being patient! To summarize, the reader's doubts lead her and Bucky to explore the idea of what it means to add value to the world. That of course leads to some intimate dialogue and soft moments. Towards the end, I played around with an idea that relates to Bucky having enhanced senses, and I think it worked out pretty well. But I suppose that's up for you guys to decide. 🌼

♡ Prompt 31: “Shh, I can hear your heartbeat.”

What Comes Naturally

There was an abundance of memories to hold onto as summer began to bid farewell. Each of them sweet, and owning a small fraction of your heart. The days, once long, were beginning to grow shorter, and nature itself was slowing to the new rhythm of the atmopshere. It beautiful time of transition.

But a rather peculiar round of thoughts had started to cultivate within your mind. They were dense and somewhat dark, awaiting the moment in which they could release their rain.

Their accumulation had been on the basis of value. The value you were adding to the world, specifically; was it enough? Could you be working more, creating more? Did strangers walk away remembering you? Did you better the lives of those around you? There were as many doubts as there were questions. And they all seemed to have come out of nowhere, plaguing you suddenly.

It was an unfortunate headspace to have fallen into. All things considered, you should’ve been happy. Happier than you were, at least, because it was the dawn of your favorite season. Yet you’d woken up and found yourself wondering if you were doing enough.

That afternoon rolled around quickly. You were curled up on the couch when Bucky returned home from his routine run. He lifted his hand in a wave, to which you responded with a quiet hi. The earbuds you had in played a song that served as a feeble distraction from your worries. You watched as he went to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water, taking a few big gulps. He focussed on you as he drank.

Then he set the bottle on the kitchen island, and dabbed his mouth with the back of his hand. A furrow formed between his brows as sweat glistened above along his hairline. “You okay, doll?”

The question barely registered, but you read his lips. Before speaking, you paused the song. “Yeah, m’fine. Just relaxing”

You might as well have been glass with the way his gaze went through you. “Okay, well, I’m gonna go hop in the shower,” he said, running a hand through his hair. A brief moment of silence passed. “We’ll talk when I’m done, okay?” There was a knowing to his tone.

All you did was nod, gratefully.

A couple minutes after he left the kitchen, you ended up padding to the bedroom as well. Rather than bothering with another distraction, you simply laid on your back across the bed. You stared at the ceiling as the sound of running shower water emitted from the bathroom. And though it was faint, you could also hear the timbre of Bucky’s voice as he hummed a tune. You closed your eyes, finding solace in the fact that he was near, and willing to listen.

By the time he came out, you’d dozed off into a light sleep. As soon he gave your knee a few gentle squeezes, your eyes fluttered open. There was a small smile on his face as he looked down at you. Damp locks of his hair fell into his forehead, and a beige bath towel was wrapped around his waist. You sat up with a soft grunt, and he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead before moving to get dressed. You caught of whiff of his cedar body wash in the process.

“Love you,” you murmured, rubbing your eyes.

“Love you too, pretty girl,” he said. “Wanna start telling me ‘bout what’s going on in that mind of yours?”

For a few seconds, all you did was look down at your socked feet and kick them. You heard a couple of dresser drawers open as Bucky saught out the clothes he was going to wear. “I feel like there’s something more I could be doing,” you finally said, turning to look at him. He’d tossed his towel onto the bed put on a pair of blue boxers.

“Something more?” He repeated as he pulled a black shirt over his head. “What do you mean?” His eyes met yours with genuine curiosity, wanting to understand.

You sighed, picking at the bed comforter. “The world is so big and people are out there doing so many different things, and it feels like I’m not doing nearly as enough. Like there are ways for me to step up that I’m not acknowledging,” you explained. “Like I’m missing the mark.”

Bucky put on a pair of sweat shorts before walking to take a seat beside you on the edge of the bed. He looked intently into your eyes. “What mark do you think you’re missing?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know,” you said, tone raising slightly. “There are people like you who go out and save the world, and do all of these crazy, larger than life things. People who have huge, innovative ideas that change entire industries. People who massive followings because they’re encouraging, or funny, and whatnot. And they all add so much to the world.”

Bucky thought about interjecting, but decided to let you continue. “It seems like I’m hardly doing anything. I at least try to leave a good impression on everyone I meet. And I try to extend the best of myself to the people I care about.” You turned your gaze from him, and directed it to the floor.

“But now there’s something’s telling me that I should be trying harder. And I don’t even know what that’s supposed to look like.” Bucky had began to run a comforting hand up and down your thigh. You released a harsh huff of air, not even realizing you’d been working yourself up. “I don’t even know where all of this is coming from. I just feel off, and...”

You fell silent when he wrapped his vibranium arm around your shoulders, and pulled you into him. Pressing a kiss to your temple, then your cheek, his stubble brushing against your skin. There was warmth radiating from his body, and he smelled good. So good. You let your head tilt to rest on his shoulder, and looked down to where your knee was brushing against his. Suddenly, it seemed as though everything you’d previously said was immature and incomprehensible.

“I’m sorry,” you started. “Maybe I’m just being—”

“Shh,” he coaxed. Then he said something that caught you off guard, and took your mind off of everything else, “I can hear your heartbeat.”

“Wait, what?” You breathed. “No you can’t.” When Bucky chuckled, light and airy, you lifted your head. “Can you really?” Your voice was soft with a disbelieving edge.

“Yes,” he said, letting his arm slip from around you. “Lay down for a second.” You did, and he fell onto his back as well.

There the two of you were, chests rising with your breaths, looking up at the ceiling.

You waited for him to explain himself or say something else, but he didn’t for a while. The air was quiet long enough that you figured it was only a matter of time before you began to hear your own heartbeat, or possibly even his. You didn’t, of course, and Bucky eventually broke the ambience that had established itself.

“I can hear it,” he confirmed, turning to look at you. “But just barely ‘cause it’s not as strong now.”

“Because I’ve calmed down?” He hummed in agreement. You studied his handsome features and began to smile. "I didn’t know could do that,” you told him. “I mean, I knew your hearing was good, but to be able to hear a heart beating is… cool.”

“Yeah. I just have to be close enough and focus extremely hard,” he explained. “And you wanna know what I have to say about adding value to the world?”

You’d almost forgotten about what you expressed to him in the moments prior. Almost. “What?”

He propped himself up on his metal arm, and placed his flesh one on your chest over your heart. He could feel the gentle thump against his palm. “This, right here, is all you need to know that you’re adding value; the fact that you’re alive,” he said, smiling when you placed your hands overtop of his. “Everyday you’re adding value in a way only you can. Even if it’s not always through some big and over the top demonstration.

“Just be and do what comes naturally. One day that might be saving a city, another day that may be making somebody laugh. Who’s to say they aren’t equally important in the end? They both effect how the future plays out, right?” He quirked his brows.

It was moments like that when you realized just how much of life he'd lived and how much wisdom he'd earned over the years. Even if you had've racked your brain, you wouldn't have found anything capable of standing up against his words. You took his hand and pressed a kiss to his palm.

“Right.”

-

Thank you so much for reading! Consider sticking around for more. <3

[poguestvff]

Used To The Cold — S. Cameron

In which Sarah Cameron comes to a realization after her girlfriend moves across the country.

taglist | main masterlist | 2.0k words

warning(s): none, fluff, i heart sarah <33

Have you ever lost something that held either so many memories or brought a sort of happiness that just warmed you immediately even at the sight of it? Most people have something like that. Such as for children when it comes to losing stuffed animals or action figures that were a source of comfort, they missed it like hell. Said children grow up and look for a new source of comfort. Some teenagers found it in weed and alchohol, others in sports. For Sarah Cameron, she grew out of the beautiful pink blanket her father had gotten her as a toddler. As she grew into a teenager, she found a new solace.

Her girlfriend.

Sarah made it very apparent to show her love to her girlfriend who, at one point, was just her best friend who she could hardly even bare to be away from. Sarah had known she'd loved Y/n before they even got together by the way Sarah had never felt claustrophobic in the friendship that she held with the other girl. She said the three words within the first six months of being with her, words she had never spoken to another being other than her family. It was a word she, personally, took seriously. For her to say it to Y/n showed the amount of trust she held within her. Trust to not feel so closed off with Y/n.

At the beginning of the relationship, Sarah was glad that not much had changed between the two of them. That Y/n let her have her space whenever she needed it without the dependent need to be together all day though it quickly became backwards. Sarah grew even more clingy to Y/n, hardly able to deal without her hands being stuck to her girlfriend like glue. Whenever they went out to lunch, Sarah played a one sided game of footsies that only brought a smile upon Y/n’s features, one of Sarah’s favorite traits about her. Sarah loved the idea of always having a person to call her own, Y/n seeming to be the one person who could bring out her newfound touchiness. Though, sometimes she pondered on whether Y/n herself was even handling it or if she just ‘put up’ with it. If she did have an indifference towards Sarah’s actions, she surely never showed her disinterest in it.

Though the last time Sarah had held on to her girlfriend felt soul crushing and gut wrenching. As the two of them stood on the creaky, wooden dock just before the ferry, Sarah felt drained. Between the amount of crying she’d done in just the past few days had been enough to make her want to sleep forever and the comfort of her girlfriends arms around her hadn’t helped that feeling. Tears held a steady stream down both of their faces though Sarah was the one who was unable to contain her sobs. People passed around them, solemn looks given to the two of them as they listened in on the sniffles and soft wails.

Y/n didn’t need to be a genius to understand that this was twice as hard for Sarah as it would be for her. Y/n was leaving, miles away that Sarah couldn’t even pin on when the next time she’d being able to hold on to her would be. All she knew was that this embrace that Y/n held on her would be the last one for months and there wasn’t a thing that would be able to make up for it between now and then.

It evoked an indescribable sort of fear within Sarah but she knew it was immutable. If Sarah could, she'd even drop her whole life within Outer Banks to follow her girlfriend across the world. There wasn't much Sarah wouldn't do and there wasn't much Y/n wouldn't do for Sarah either, including the moving date having already been pushed back a month because of Y/n's several arguments with her parents.

"I don't want you to go." sarah whispered as y/n kissed her neck. She could hear the blonde's pained and wavering voice, how affected she already was even as Y/n hadn't even stood on the boat yet.

"I know, lover." the y/h/c girl spoke in a low tone, only sarah able to hear her words of affirmation. Y/n was first to pull back, placing her hands on Sarah's cheeks. The sight of Sarah with puffy eyes and a quivering lip made y/n's heart throb and a guilty feeling blanket over her like a raising tide. "i'll visit. Every chance I get, you know I will."

"It won't be the same." she lamented. Y/n placed her lips against Sarah’s, delicately as if the blonde were made of porcelain. When Y/n's parents had called for her and Ward and Rose had called Sarah away from the dock, Sarah only seemed to want to cling further, fingers pressing further into the thin jacket Y/n worse, but their time had finally run out. Even after weeks of pretending that they had all the time in the world, like nothing could pull the two of them apart, it had happened.

The first few weeks, the whole Cameron house had known Sarah spent most of her nights crying herself to sleep and the entire Y/l/n house knew Y/n was not going to be speaking to them for a little while due to their newest decision. Both groups of parents hadn't known that pulling the duo away from one another would become such a quagmire for each of them.

When Y/n did finally decide to talk to her parents, it was usually to say she was leaving to explore the area in which she refused to get to know the first few days. With a driver license, it gave her just a bit of freedom from her parents who's impromptu decisions had still caused for a tearing in their familial relationship.

Y/n sat in her parked car, a hot beverage in hand to adjust to the cold in which she'd just stood in for five minutes. All of it for a drink that wasn't even that good in her opinion but she dealt with it. With the hand not holding the steaming drink, she opened her phone, smiling immediately at the photo of her and sarah as her background. She unlocked it, scrolling around to find Sarah's contact and setting her phone up against the dashboard. While it began to ring, Y/n situated herself to begin to drive. "Hi, Y/n/n!" Sarah shouted excitedly the second she'd answered.

At her tone of voice did Y/n laugh. The enthusiasm was no surprise but it was funny to Y/n every time. "Hi, baby." She replied, fhe smile remaining on her face as she looked towards the screen. Sarah sat at her desk, her hands under her jaw though a pencil between her fingers. She had focused all of her attention from the papers in front of her to the driver on the other end of the phone. "What are you doing?"

The sound of whizzing paper had made Y/n glance to the phone seeing a math sheet now replacing Sarah's face before she placed it back down, a frown appearing on her features. "Math."

"Didn't you just start like two days ago?" Y/n asked, taking a sip from her drink.

"Yes and this teacher is an absolute bitch. You're just lucky you don't start for another week. You would hate Mr. Henley."

Y/n let out an awfully dramatic gasp. "Um, hello, Mr. Henley was literally my home room teacher last year, I'll have you know. Show some respect." She said, almost missing Sarah's chagrined look as she smiled.

"You're supposed to be on my side here."

"Sorry, i don't believe in biases, Sar." She joked for sarah to let out a small snicker.

"So tell me, how's minnesota?" Sarah asked, trying to spark up a conversation even if the distance was the same thing she wanted to keep her mind off of.

"Oh, it's so great. So many hot people." she remarked.

"You're not funny, no one has ever found you funny." Sarah replied though unable to hold in her laugh along with her girlfriend. "I'm serious. we haven't talked much about it and i don't want to like... avoid your new life now."

Y/n sighed, looking towards the phone to see Sarah looking back down at her work in front of her. "Fine. Well, it doesn't particularly suck. The no surfing part definitely does, though, but what can you do. And the coffee here... no, its just so bad, babe. granted, i only had one, and it's in my cup holder right now but it's gross."

"My coffee making is better, right?" Sarah asked as Y/n gave a hefty nod.

"So much better, even if it is the only thing you're good at making." Y/n laughed and Sarah attempted to refuse a smile, her cheeks quivering from trying to keep it down. "But the weather dropped today, randomly. It was seventy yesterday, fifty today but i think i'm getting used to the cold."

Sarah lifted her head back to the phone, watching Y/n focus on driving, her eyes diverting on places away from the screen. Sarah but at her inner cheek, drumming her fingers against the white wood that rested under her forearms. "Used to it?" Sarah asked. She knew Y/n's move was permanent at least until she was eighteen but something about those words made it seem more realistic. She was getting used to a place that wasn't home.

Y/n hummed. "Yeah, i'm probably being dramatic. I saw a guy walking around in a tank top and shorts while i'm wearing double pair of socks right now." she grinned at her own comment though picking up on Sarah's sudden discomfort when she replied with a small 'wow'. "Lover?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?" Y/n asked, the car slowing to a stop at a red light.

Sarah quickly shook her head. "No, it's nothing. Just... the work. Keep your eye on the road."

"Sarah." The blond recognized the tone of voice quickly.

"Just... I just fully realized how permanent this is. I won't see you until, what? December? That's a long time, Y/n! And, i get it, it's your home now and i can't do anything about it but—"

Y/n was quick to cut her off. "I never said this is home. Sure I live here but it's just a couple walls and a roof. It's not home, Sarah." Y/n began. "Home is you. And trust me, i've been missing home the second i got on that ferry."

Despite them having to look at one another through a glass screen the feeling—the connection between the two of them was still felt. Sarah could feel the normal warm feeling she would've gotten whenever Y/n would simply hold her hand or brush her hair over her ear. she held that much of an effect on Sarah in person and somehow even thousands of miles away.

Sarah hadn't even realized she had been staring for a total of twenty seconds until a singular tear fell down her blushing cheeks. she quickly sniffled, recomposing herself as she wiped it away. "Are you seriously making me cry right now?" She muttered with the way the atmosphere had become though relishing in the way Y/n laughed in response.

"Yes, thank you for ignoring everything i just said, lover." Y/n put the car back in drive as the light went green. Due to the steets being relatively empty in her new small town, she took the time to look back over at the phone to Sarah. "I love you."

Sarah's smile widened in thag very moment, pursing her lips before pushing them out. "I love you more."

"And don't worry. I won't get to used to it. I'll be back home, to you, before you even know it." Y/n took a small glance to the phone, enjoying Sarah's gaze that showed even with the distance put between the two of them, they'd be fine.

[admiringlove]

OMG SAM CONGRATS!!! here's my request, hope ya have fun writing it <33

don't worry if you notice i'm gone; i never meant to stay but i know you won't miss me long, i'll be forgotten in a day. -e.h.

make it without you.

don't worry if you notice i'm gone; i never meant to stay but i know you won't miss me long, i'll be forgotten in a day.

— e.h.

it was the start of his greatest fear. 

the final year of the high-school, memories becoming more are more like a treasure with each passing day. whether it be playing volleyball, or spending time with his friends, or with you. he doesn't regret his loss against his junior in the end, after all, deciding to let it go for now(and that he'll be getting kageyama back on national television one day, as he had said to you as you laughed at him for being immature).

he hates himself for what he's going to do to you at the end of the year. his brown, guilty eyes give away everything to you. even if his face is filled up with white little lies about your future together, his eyes always gave it away. he knows that you know as well, that deep inside, you're hurting but you refuse to show. you refuse to be anything less than brave, that too, all for him. he thinks you're selfless; the way you never break down whenever he talks about his hopes and dreams makes him think that maybe you're the most benevolent person he knows after all.

the way you were on his mind every single night. so he called you at two in the morning on a few weekdays, and you sneaked out of your window just to meet him at the swing set at a nearby park(which was where you'd first met, and although oikawa doesn't like admitting it, it brought him solace to sit there once again and talk to you without anyone else present). you smile at him the same all throughout the year. there are so many ways you do, and only a few are portrayed with your lips. there are times you smile with the lilt of your voice or an unexpected pep in your stride—and he knows it's fake, how can he not? there are times you smile with your choice of words or the way you pause to hear a bird sing, saying how it's pretty to spend time like this with him. 'precious time', as you'd called it.

he knows your roads are going to take you in different directions. it's not like he's unaware, it's just that he's scared. oikawa tо̄ru is scared of facing the impending doom of reality that waits for him just at the end of the school year; a camp for training in argentina, and if he does well(which he hated that he knew he will), then he gets to be on the team. he cried the day the letter arrived in his mailbox, eyes quivering as he jumped from joy and wrapped his friends in his arms as they hollered like moronic fools—until he saw you. you stood there just a few feet away, the prettiest smile on your lips, albeit it didn't quite reach your eyes. your eyes were glassy as time slowed down, his friends jumping and dancing out of joy around him in his living room as you simply stood there, perfectly still as your eyes locked with his. you bit your lip harshly as he swiftly got past his friends and engulfed you in a hug, whispering "i love you" into your ear as he tried to hide the fact that everything was going to change for just a bit longer. 

the year passed by faster than he would've liked. it was his last week, and he spent the limited time he had left wisely, or so he thought. he made sure to stay out with you and the others until seven each day, keeping the rest of the time for his family. dinners were spent arguing over who gets the last piece of meat with his nephew and late nights were spent talking about mindless things about his childhood with his sister. 

as the dreaded day to leave came nearer and nearer, his heart somehow grew calmer and calmer. he was confused, to say the least. he was sad all this time. he regretted accepting the offer the whole time, then why was it that now of all times, he felt as relaxed as he could ever be? he tried to make himself repent again. he recollected every memory of you that he could muster up; all those times he'd sneak out of his house after stealing a bottle of wine from his elder sister's stash to drink it with you at the park, all those times where the two of you talked about your futures like you had a clue, all those kisses that felt too short, all those hugs that felt a little incomplete flooded his mind. but not once did he feel guilt.

he cursed himself as he placed his suitcases into the trunk of mattsun's car(well, it was his father's, but he usually drove it around instead). you sat in the passenger seat as makki and iwa-chan piled in the back, squishing tо̄ru in the middle. there was definitely tension in the air—everyone except you kept talking so he didn't notice. but he did anyway, he noticed the way you hid your eyes from him. he noticed the way your fake smiles lasted for only a millisecond this time, he noticed the way you looked out of the window aimlessly instead of smiling when iwaizumi mocked tо̄ru about his spanish speaking skills. he laughed along with the others though, not wanting to ruin the moment. 

the airport was here, and there was no turning back now. all of them hugged him together, and then they left you there to talk to him. you couldn't do anything but stare at the ground for a few minutes, and all he could do was look at you. he wanted you to say something, to stop him, or just ask him to stay for a few more days; he would've been fine with anything, really. he just wanted to hear something. a reason to stay, perhaps.

"tо̄ru," you’d whispered, and the words still rung in oikawa tо̄ru's mind like the ghost of your shell, "don't give up, okay?"

he knew you weren't talking about yourself that day. because as soon as he steps into the plane and sits in his seat, his eyes break. his heart breaks, and so does his resolve.

hi sara !! so i saw your second ask about oikawa or childe and chose oikawa :) thank you for participating in my event for 1k! if anyone else wants to do so, here’s the event masterlist for the rules!

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[arsonistslut]

Chapter 9: Reminders of Tragedy

"Hey, Jane!"

"Hey, Ingrid! How is my favorite person in the world?"

Jane's girlfriend of a good 9 years now happily walked over and kissed her on the cheek, beaming as she always seemed to do whenever she looked at her lover.

"Amazing now that you're here. Hey, you wanna go to that party Randy's having at his house tomorrow?"

"He's having a party? I didn't figure him the partying type."

"Despite the whole business parents thing, he is a real party animal. Hey, you know what's weird about the party?"

"What is?"

"He invited that Jeff guy there..y'know, that creep with the Conduct Disorder?"

She gestured to the tall, dark clothed young adult that sat alone at a lunch table nearby, playing with a switchblade.

"Hey, I remember him being pretty nice.."

"Remember him? You two date at some point?"

"We did, actually, wayyyy back."

Jane smirked when she saw the look of surprise and pride on Ingrid's face when she realized she guessed right.

"What was he like?"

"He was a sweetheart. Cheesy, but a sweetheart. Hell, even cheesier than me."

"Jane, you've carved our names into multiple trees. There's no out-cheesing that."

"Oh, you wouldn't believe how we met, either. My dad was out mowing the lawn, and he accidentally ran over a rock and it hit Jeff in the head."

"Oof, that sounds bad.."

"I visited him in the hospital with my parents one time, and I will never forget what he said to me as a pick-up line."

"What did he say?"

Jane cleared her throat, before trying her darndest to do an impression of a young Jeff.

"Did you come from heaven? Because you look like an angel!"

Ingrid couldn't help but let out a giggle as she quickly pulled Jane into her arms.

"Aww, that sounds so cute!"

"It was!"

Jeff himself was hearing this conversation from afar, the little tricks he played with his knife not an adequate distraction from the constant reminder of what could've been.

"I don't think he handled our breakup too well..nobody really wanted to treat him as anything other than a freak after his diagnosis went public. One time, I heard him ranting to his brother about how it was hypocritical of the school to do a health topic on depression when they wouldn't stop judging him for his CD."

"Sheesh, it sounds like he's been through a lot..poor kid could use a friend."

"It doesn't really look like he wants any. Liu isn't sitting with him..that's weird, Liu always sits with him."

"Prolly had an argument or something, you know siblings."

"Yeah.."

The day continued without incident, Jeffrey getting home at the same time as usual..yet his mind was not thinking about the party, or school, he was thinking about Jane and Ingrid. Why was Jane so special that she had everything she wanted in life and not him? What crime did he commit that landed him with absent parents, demonization from his peers, and a fucking smile cut into his face? That love, that relationship they had..Jeff came to the conclusion that it was something to be destroyed.

Liu, meanwhile, was..struggling with something. Something he never expected would be a problem in his life. Lately, he began having these thoughts..these violent, awful, intrusive thoughts, thoughts that seemed to be begging to be spoken aloud, the actions they describe seeming to grow more and more appealing as time passed.

Kill Randy.

Maim Keith.

Skin Troy like the cattle he is.

Maybe if he gave the thoughts an identity, they'd be easier to handle, he thought as he thought of a name for these urges..one stood out from the others. Not at all goofy, but not as laughably edgy as the other options.

Chapter 10: Enter Sully

Liu ended up speaking to Sully for the entire night..and even into the morning. When Jeff woke up the next morning, he could already hear Liu downstairs talking with..someone.

"It's sad, really..so concerned about themselves..no time spared for you."

"I-I guess..but they've got more important things to worry about.."

"Child, they do not have a thought in them about you. They're all self centered egomaniacs that would rather get pushed around by a genetic failure of a human rather than do anything about their situation!"

"That's not true, Sully! You're lying!"

A horrible growl soon came from the room.

"We are friends, child! Friends do not lie to each other, do they?"

"I..I guess not..goodbye for now, Sully."

"Where are you going?"

"I..I need some time to think."

Liu got back up, jumping from fear when he saw his brother staring at him.

"Holy shit, Jeff! You scared me!"

"I bet."

Awkward silence soon filled the dining room where they stood.

"Hey, Jeff...?"

"What?"

"I'm..sorry about punching you, and saying all that shit about you. I shouldn't have done that."

"No shit, Sherlock."

The elder brother turned around and began walking back up to his room, but not before his brother called out to him.

"Hey..is there any way I could make things up between us?"

"You could make things up by not betraying my trust again. You're all I've got, Liu..don't pull a Jane and fuck it up for me."

Liu always did question that grudge Jeff held for his ex, after all, he chatted with her in the past, and it always seemed like she genuinely enjoyed what her and Jeff had, and she always felt bad for leaving him like that. Hell, it sounded like it was as painful for her to leave him as it was for him to find out that his girlfriend left him. He was tempted to point that out, but he feared ruining things with his brother again.

"Alright.."

Chapter 11: A Hell of A Party

When Jane and Ingrid rounded the corner home, they found..a disturbing sight. A dead raccoon laying in the middle of the street, it's guts ripped out of it's body and thrown aside, Jeff gleefully pawing through the freshly murdered animal, childishly gawking and giggling over the corpse.

"Hey, Jeffrey! What happened here, what the fuck did you do?!"

Ingrid cried out to the blood-soaked kid, who looked up at her, confusion riddling his bloodied face.

"I killed a raccoon. It's not like anyone's gonna miss it."

"Why, you little-"

Ingrid slapped Jeffrey right across the face, knocking him to the ground as Jane held her girlfriend back and tried to keep the situation from escalating any further.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"You killed a helpless animal, you freak!!"

"I oughta kill you next, you piece of-"

Woods choked on his own spittle as he made his threat, never having been particularly..elegant with his words.

"Oh, really?! I'll kick your teeth down your fucking throat!"

"I swear to God, I'll strangle you with your own fucking intestines!!"

When Jeff reached for his switchblade, Jane panicked and grabbed her lover's hand, running off with her as Woods continued to scream at them.

"Your last words better be some Mark Twain shit, because it's going on your tombstone!! You hear me?!"

That experience was all on Jane's mind as she watched Jeff steadily get more and more wasted by the bonfire outside as time went on, at least, what glimpses she could catch of him when she wasn't busy dancing with the other students. Randy was also outside, reluctantly playing Truth Or Dare with the others as well as his increasingly hot and bothered enemy.

"Ok, Jeff!"

"Whaddup, baby?~"

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare, hit me with the worst ya got!"

"Slow dance with Randy."

"What the-no! I'm straight as a arrow, dude!"

"So is spaghetti until it gets wet~"

"Jeff, never say that again."

"C'mooooon, do the dare, ya pussy~ I don't bite!~"

Woods took his time getting up, but still had enough cognitive function to put on Grover Washington Jr's "Just The Two Of Us", to try and improve the mood, but Randy still wasn't having any of it. In a last ditch effort to try and seduce Randy, Jeffrey just..up and took his shirt off. That'll get things going, right? No, it didn't. Despite some swooning from some of his classmates, Randy himself didn't want any part of this. He was a few drinks deep as well, so in a drunken haze, he grabbed one of the bottles of booze they had, took a running start, and smashed it right over Jeff's head. The problem with that is that they were only a couple feet away from a bonfire, so when Jeff stumbled backward, he fell right into it, the alcohol on his exposed flesh quickly igniting. He quickly burst into flames, screaming and running off as the fire quickly seared his body, every remaining nerve ending he had that wasn't burnt away shocking his body with waves of pain. He could feel his scalp burning up once his hair was scorched away, finally finding solace in a nearby puddle that put out the flames. Jeff could see his life flashing before his eyes..his family, his brother..that was all he could see. As Randy and the other students' screams of horror faded away, Woods silently cursed himself for not doing anything more with his life..a single bloody tear rolled down his face as he shut his eyes for what he believed would be the last time.

Chapter 12: The End Of The Beginning

Suddenly..he was in some sort of void. The ground beneath him was black as pitch, and footsteps began to grow ever closer to him. When Jeff looked to see who was approaching, he found no earthly being waiting for his attention. When he laid his eyes on whatever approached, the previously totally dark void began to turn a sickly red. What stood before him was a monster unlike any other, an otherwordly monster many believed to be a mere tall tale.

HE COMES.

[theinnernerd]

I got a Twitter and kinda ditched tumblr... :( this is my attempt to change that.

This is Altean Lance from a scene in my fic The Shadow of a Prince ✨🤗✨

I’ll post an excerpt below because I CAN!!!! OmG I MISSSD the tumblr platform. I’m so FREE! I can write HOWEVER MUCH I WANT about this post.

Maybe it’s nostalgia but tumblr>>>>>Twitter. And that’s on that.

It was in the dead of the night when an alarm on Keithek’s suit started beeping.

He had been trying to doze off, not feeling like readying himself for bed, but feeling sleepy enough that if he sat down and rested his eyes for a bit, he could get a decent few minutes of sleep that would sustain him for the day tomorrow. But the beeping pulled him out of the sleepy haze he had managed to sink under in an instant and he was suddenly wide awake again.

Keithek sighed. Lance had left his room.

Standing, he went to go find him. Rounding a few quick corners before he finally got to him, the boy still seeming to glow under the low light of the hall as he walked quietly down the hall.

Keithek sighed again, shaking his head, annoyed. Did the prince really think he was being sly? He knew that this was something his sister had decreed would be strictly forbidden until the threat was neutralized. Clearly, the prince still didn’t care.

He walked up behind him silently and as soon as he was within a foot of him he cleared his throat and tried not to take pleasure in the way the prince squawked with surprise and shot his gaze over to him. As soon as his blue eyes landed on Keithek’s, they instantly narrowed with anger. He let out an annoyed humph and groaned, thrusting his hands into his already tousled hair as he turned back around, clearly annoyed.

He was devoid of any jewelry or other adornments. He wasn't even wearing his crown. Seeing him without his usual get up was... strange. More strange than he thought it would be. The blue marks beneath his eyes were almost more apparent without the usual amount of decoration, and his natural features, in Keithek's opinion, were enhanced.

“I don’t think I need to explain to you that you should be in your room right now your highnesses. You aren’t safe to walk the halls alone at night.”

“How the hell are you even- you’re- it’s literally the ass crack of dawn and you’re in full quiznacking uniform?! Do you sleep? What the hell?”

The questions felt directed more to himself than they were to Keithek or anyone else. He muttered them unhappily, glaring at Keithek with almost as much distaste as the queen herself. Keithek pretended he didn’t notice the similarities in their unhappy facial expressions from the shape of their pointed faces to the curved narrow slits of their eyes. He ignored the feeling of slight discomfort he felt when seeing the queens face resembled so clearly in the princes annoyed and exasperated face.

“I’m alerted whenever you leave your room. It’s my job to be ready to stop you from making stupid decisions.”

It seemed that both the prince and himself were a bit surprised at the forward ness of that comment and the slight lack of professionalism that Keithek had let slip.

The prince brushed it off though and turned around, ignoring him as he pushed forwards where he had been going down the hall. The glare that Keithek received from him when he had stepped in front of him and stopped him from moving forward was vicious.

“Move.” He said shortly. Staring Keithek down, using their slight difference in hight to his advantage.

“You know I can not do that your highness. Keithek replied tiredly.

Lance groaned sliding his hands down his face in demonstration of his irritability. “What's your fucking problem, man?! Can't you just let me go for a walk around my castle at night if I want?”

“No.” Keithek said. “It's still dangerous.”

The prince looked visibly exhausted, running his hands through his hair and sighing. “Fine. You know what? Fine! Asshole! God! My life is the most pathetic…” He kept mumbling as he turned on his heel and began walking down the hallway again to go back to his room, getting far enough away after a while that Keithek couldn’t hear what he was saying anymore, and suddenly Keithek felt guilty.

He could sympathize, in some ways, with the prince, even if what he was doing was irresponsible and they both knew it. He wanted to be left to his own devices. He wanted to live his life. Having someone like Keithek on his back had to be frustrating. So for whatever reason, he took pity on him and blurred out something he really hadn’t expected he would actually say.

“I can accompany you however.” Keithek said to Lance’s back quickly. If you would like.

Lance halted in his steps, pausing a bit before turning back, giving him a skeptical look.

“Technically I am instructed to keep you in your room, but…” Keithek hesitated. He wanted to earn Lance’s trust. To show him that he was on his side, and that he trusted him too. He chose then to drop formalities, letting his spine relax a bit, offering Lance a look of solace.

“Look, I get it.” He said. “Sometimes You need a distraction, and trying to sleep just doesn't work. My job is to keep you safe, and I'll do that. But Nobody has to know about my breaking minor rules if it helps you relax…”

Lance just stared at him seeming as though he didn't believe his words. His eyebrows furrowed, but he turned around.

“Ok....” he said, drawing out the word. “Then I'm going to the kitchens.” He began walking forwards again and Keithek quietly trailed behind him.

Lance stretched, rolling his shoulders and yawning as they reached the entrance. He walked languidly to the counter and began collecting an assortment of food on his plate. Keithek stood at attention by the door, watching him. He filled a glass with some liquid Keithek couldn't name, and took a seat at the table, draping himself over the edge, one arm propping him up.

He was about to lift the glass to his lips when he looked up at Keithek, like he was only just realizing that he hadn't sat down with him.

Lance drew his eyebrows together and gave him a slightly irritated look of confusion.

“What, you're not allowed to sit either?” He asked sarcastically, gesturing to the seat across from him like it was ridiculous that he wasn't already there, his face twisted in annoyance.

“No, I'm allowed but for your safe-“ Keithek began but Lance cut him off, rolling his eyes.

“Oh my god, Just fucking sit down.” He said.

Keithek bristled in surprise but obeyed the prince, walking tentatively to the seat across from him, Lance’s eyes following him as he chewed, seeming to inspect him, looking him up and down.

When Keithek sat, Lance looked back at his plate, chewing and looking to be deep in thought. A long quiet ensued as Lance ate before he spoke up.

“How old are you.” Lance asked unprecedentedly, still watching the food he was pushing around.

Keithek was taken back by his question but answered after a moment of hesitation. “Twenty four,” he responded.

The prince quirked an eyebrow. “Geez, your pretty young to have such a giant stick up your ass.”

For perhaps the umpteenth time that night, Keithek didn't know how to respond to one of the princes unexpected comments.

“Do you ever, like, not take things so seriously?” He asked. Meeting his eyes.

Keithek's heart skipped, without permission when their eyes met, shocked at just how strikingly blue they were under the dim glow of the kitchens lights.

The prince was presenting himself to Keithek in ways that he had never seen him. Away from nobles, citizens of Altea, and even his sister, Lance was incredibly more casual. Almost like how he had been with the big Altean with yellow markings. Just less… friendly. He had a snarky sarcastic sense about him that Keithek hadn't assumed of him when they first met. Rather he seemed to be the professional, stubborn, hard ass that he was accusing Keithek of being now. Why he was choosing to show this side of himself to Keithek of all people, he didn't know.

When he didn't respond, Lance continued. Taking another sip from his glass. “Look. He said. I don't like being smothered, and I don't like unnecessary tension. But if my sister is going to sick you on to me for the rest of time I'd rather get over all these stupid formalities, and tell you that you are the last thing I want in my life right now.”

He paused, allowing himself to chew and swallow his food.

“But, he continued,” I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get out of this, so if you start treating me like a person rather than a fragile little flower, and loosen up a bit, we'll get along fine. Let me live my life and if there's ever someone going to stab me in the back, then you can stop them. But I'm not going to tolerate coddling and whatever other shit rules Allura gave you on how to treat me, got that?”

With his words, Keithek finally felt that he was starting to understand the prince. At least in some ways. What he was asking for was respectable, and Keithek was willing to give him that, as long as he knew that he was going to be with him at all times, like Allura had instructed him to be.

The prince was becoming more real with every interaction they had. Here, in this room, watching him slump over the table and eat his food with the most unamused face Keithek thought he had the ability to make, without his royal attire and glittering adornments, he looked normal.

Keithek nodded. “Yeah. He replied. I get it.”

“Great.” The prince said unenthusiastically, before he lifted himself back up, downing the last of his drink and then walked to put away his dishes. Keithek pushed away the mild surprise he felt upon witnessing an Altean royal wash his own dishes, his hands soapy as he scrubbed the surface of the plate before rinsing it off with water.

When the prince grabbed the entire bottle of the drink he had been sipping on earlier, Keithek looked curiously at him and asked, “what is that stuff.”

The prince frowned, looking down at the bottle. “If it’s any good?” He said, “It will help me forget that we ever had this conversation.” And with that, he took a big swig, right from the bottle, meeting Keithek’s eyes in a deadpan stare before he turned and walked out the doors. Keithek followed him silently back to Lance’s room, watching as he wordlessly scanned his hand to open the doors and walk inside, leaving Keithek in the hallway without another word.

[shivanessa]

I'm involved now (more Titanic AU)

Tony stumbled out of the salon into the cold air of the night. 

His uncle's words still rang in his head. The laughter of the other men on the table. His own inability to wipe the grin of their faces. 

'I'm 45 years and he still calls me boy!' he thought bitterly while he made his way between first class passengers, ignoring the indignation he left in his wake. 

It wouldn't have been so tormenting if they had been back in New York, where Tony could leave and occupy himself with his tinkering while his uncle steered the company with Tony's name on it. On this blasted boat he felt caged, captured on this cavernous masterpiece of engineering, the unsinkable crown of his uncles shipping line. 'Starktanic! Even this hellhole of a moving high society event has my name plastered all over it!' 

All he could do to depart at least inside his head was to drink. And suffer. 

'I need some air!' his intoxicated brain ordered and drove him away from the prying eyes of the other travelers. Unsteady steps carried him away from the chatter and the laughter and light, to the darker parts of the ship. No prying eyes. No need to play his role. Safety. 

*

"Don't do it."

Tony turned his head. For the first time he recognized how far he had gone in his attempt to gain solace. Almost his foot lost the grip, his knuckles turning white while he tried to maintain his balance. He was standing on the outer side of the ship's railway, nine decks above the heavy turning propeller. Suddenly the whooshing around him became deafening, the vibrations seeping into his hands. 

"Stay back!" he gasped when the panic kicked in. Panic about what he had been abou to do! For real this time. "Don't come any closer!" 

A hasty look over his shoulder confirmed that the person talking to him was a young man from the third class. How embarrassing to be caught on the brink of suicide by a commoner!

The young man held his hands in a calming way, palms open, showing that he was no threat. "Come on. Just gimme your hand. Imma pull you back over." He gestured invitingly, worry all over his face. 

"No!" Tony gave back and despite the direness of the situation he became a tad indignant. How dared this punk to talk to him like that?! "Stay where you are! I mean it! I'll let go!" He felt strangely at the young man's mercy, even if he had no leverage over Tony. For once the whole situation was entirely in his hands. So why did he feel so exposed? Raw? 

The stranger's eyes were kind. He was closer now. How had that happened? Tony felt dizzy. The clear cold air did that to a drunken man, apparently. His gaze traveled again to the tempestuous water underneath. In the dark only the white of the dashing foam was visible. Everything else was black, bottomless, dark. The wind blew cold around his ankles. Tony felt his hands go numb from gripping the rail so hard. He didn't want to die. But to go back inside to sit by Obediah's side like a well trained pup was… unbearable! 

The young man leaned on the rail beside him now, but made no attempt to touch him. "No, you won't."

Tony's gaze snapped back to the stranger beside him. For a moment he struggled to understand, since so much was going in in his head. The young man's look was challenging. 

"What do you mean, I won't?!" Tony snapped and straightened his posture as much as possible. "Don't presume to tell what I will and will not do. You don't know me!" 

"Well, you would've done it already." 

Tony scrunched up his face. His drunk brain denied to comprehend the irritating young man beside him. 

"You're distracting me! Go away!" 

But all it got him was a soft shake of the head. "I can't. I'm involved now."

They stared at each other for a couple of moments. Then the irritating young man started to undo his jacket. "You'll let go and imma have to jump after you."

Tony shook his head. Slowly this became tedious. Almost surreal. "Don't be absurd! You'd be killed."

The young man however, started to undo his shoes. "I'm a good swimmer." He let his shoes fall to the deck. "But I tell you the truth, imma lot more concerned about that water being so cold."

Tony looked down into the abyss. He hadn't even considered this. He hadn't considered this line of action at all. 

"How cold?" he asked tentatively. 

"Freezing? Maybe a couple degrees over." Both of them stared into the dark waves now. 

"Water that cold… like down there? Lemme tell you. It hits you like a thousand knifes. Like all over your body."

Tony considered it. The young man was probably right when he took into consideration that the human body was… 

"You can't breathe… you can't think…" the other went on, coloring Tony's physical calculations with feelings. "At least not about anything but the pain."

Tony gulped. 

"That's why I'm not looking forward to jump in after you. But like I said. I'm involved now."

"You're crazy!" Tony turned to the water again. 

The young man smiled. 

"That's what everybody says." he conceded. "But with all due respect, Sir." Their eyes met. "I'm not the one hangin' off the back of a ship here."

*

Somehow the young man had managed to help Tony back to the more or less stable ground on the deck. Stumbling he held onto his savior for a couple of moments while Tony tried to calm his strongly beating heart. 

"Tony? Are you there?!" Obadiah's voice got carried over by the wind. 

Tony looked up and then let go as if he had burned himself on the young man. 

"I'm here…" 

Three men in smokings and one in uniform hurried over. Obediah's face was furious. 

"Tony. What are you doing?" He stopped himself. "And who is your… friend?" His cold gaze met the young man who stood close to him, still in socks and without a jacket. A highly suggestive and inappropriate situation. 

"This is… ah…" 

"My name it Peter. Uhm. Peter Parker. Nice to meet you."

Obediah just looked him up and down before he turned to Tony. 

"Come inside. It's cold. You get sick." 

But Tony didn't follow his command for once. "Mr. Parker here saved me." he said and lifted his chin in front of his uncle and his friends. "I… wanted to have a look at the propeller and must have slipped. And Mr. Parker got my hand and pulled me back. He is a hero!" 

"Is that so?" Obadiah's gaze wa still as cold as the water below. "We need to reward him then." He snapped his hand to one of his friends who produced a checkbook. "How about 50 dollars. Would that be enough Mr. Parker?" 

Peter lifted his hands in a dismissive gesture. "Ah, no… I haven't…" 

"No? You want more?" 

"No! I mean. Uhm…" 

Tony stepped in, shielding the young man from his uncle's growing wrath. "How about we invite him for dinner? Show him hospitality at our table? Tomorrow?" 

Obediah's face wasn't exactly happy, but in the face of his friends and the ship officer he nodded. 

Tony turned "Good?" Why was his heart still beating so fast? 

Peter answered with a smile. "Good."

[wrathfulspark]

@xreznikovx

 The red head smiled as Elidi admitted that she may have been a big exaggerated when she spoke, the romantic notion still held it value to the she wolf none the less. Willingly she let the witch pull her down as well, naturally laying upon her chest like she would if they were within their beds she laid almost silent for a moment just enjoying the feeling of being in Elidi’s protective hold.

 “That is comforting considering you are like wise my only exception. I would break every law and pack rule to be by your side, always.”

 There was no need for her to explain her words for the way she stated them showed she was direct in meaning. Tamryn already had shown countless times Elidi held position within her heart above most others. It was almost an innate response from the she wolf, who was blind to the actual reasoning behind it.

 Content to just lay in her lover’s arms the alpha stayed silent and focused more so on the sound of Elidi’s heart under her ear rather than the ways that lapped at their legs. Finding a sense of comfort and peace in that steady rytym the she wolf closed her eyes and simply enjoyed the feeling of being in her lovers strong hold. There were few Tamryn felt safe in the arms of, and Elidi was one of the few people she got that sensation from.

 It was in the moment she was almost lulled to sleep by the even heart beat that she noticed it suddenly elevate. Not only had she heard the pounding in the witch’s heart she felt the intense emotion through the bracelet as well. The red head almost reacted but them remained still. For some reason the feeling she suddenly felt was entirely familiar and the fact she recognized it caused her to almost freeze in the moment as well. She remained still in the moment as she suddenly heard Elidi speak. She tensed hearing the phrase being but before her lover could finish a gust picked up and disrupted the words.

 The whole time Tamryn only tucked her head into Elidi’s chest more, allowing her to shield them both from the sand that picked up in the wind. She could still hear her heart racing, which caused her own hear to race. The she wolf could only focus on what she thought Elidi was about to say. Feeling the kiss placed to her forehead she leaned into it for a moment before catching Elidi by the back of her neck carefully in order to keep them face to face,

 “I don’t care about the sand, or the water right now, you..are you okay? Your heart is racing and I can feel, something intense coming from you...What were you going to say before the wind picked up, you what?”

Elidi took solace in Tamryn's declaration, the assertion enough to soothe her racing heart if only a second more as that feared question leaves Tamryn's lips. She knew. Her attention deterred from Tamryn's hues, finding it challenging to meet the Alpha's gaze in the moment, and no escape with her hand pressed firmly to her nape. Elidi was by no means shy nor timorous, yet the warmth flushing her skin was not brought on by the sun, which only made her inwardly fret all the more. All the while she kept a neutral expression on her face somehow, all aside from her reddening cheeks.

Mentally her brain screamed to make up some sort of lie, what she had really meant to say was I lo... LO? What words started with L O to make a convincing statement!? Tamryn would know if she was lying, if not for the bracelets then intuition alone would be enough to suffice. Nervously she bit the inside of her cheek, usually when she was this agitated she'd bite her nails, but seeing as her hands were occupied elsewhere, and given the redhead's close proximity, that option remained out.

At war with herself, the witch realizes she's been silent for far too long, staring like a deer caught in the headlights. She blinks, averting illuminated orbs to the ocean's waves, "It really isn't the time Red.." She began delicately, hues flickering back to hold her gaze while her heart pounded unnecessarily fast in her chest. "Not that I don't...I just - you're doing something entirely out of your comfort zone for my own happiness."

The more she spoke of the situation, the easier she found it to talk about her emotions, rosy faced and all. "It's the beach, the sun, and you. Three major factors in my life in some shape, way or form. Merely lying here with you made me realize I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else, I don't want to sit in sand with anyone else." She laughed faintly, leaning to drop her forehead delicately against Tamryns. "I ... I love you." Elidi spoke softly, moving to press her palm to her cheek, cradling her face delicately, "I'm not... embarassed to say it, at least not in that way. I just don't want to ruin what we have by saying something foolishly early."

With the sun's rays warming her skin and the sound of the ocean in her ears, the elements gave her the necessary boost of encouragement to carry on. "Being here, getting to experience this with you seems so... unrealistic for me. There have been multiple occasions in my lifetime where I've thought, I'll never be happy, I won't get to know that feeling, not to its true extent. For my own personal beliefs, faults and crimes. Here I am in spite of those lingering thiughts, blissfully plessed," She paused to drop a kiss to the tip of Tamryn's nose than the corner of her lips, a smile stretched across her own pinkened lips, "and I am, undeniably happy, smitten and hopelessly in love with you, Red."

[thestormlionessmemes]

Anastasia The Musical Quotes

Why must you go?

It is time to go, I have stayed too long here.

There is a bridge there named for your grandfather.

Take me with you now.

You are my favourite, strong and not afraid of anything.

Our lullaby, when you play it, think of an old woman who loves you very very much.

Have you said your prayers?

A music box so the child will remember me.

Better prayers than music boxes in these difficult times.

It's the last ball of the winter season.

All of them?

All of them.

We hear you friends, all our dreams have been delayed.

The chains of the old _ were heavy.

I could have you arrested for saying that.

I will tell the playwright.

If you weren't so handsome, I would report you.

Well, we tried my friend.

It's a fake!

No one spots a fake like _ the biggest fake of them all.

The only one a fooled at court was myself.

What happened?

_ took one look at me and said: That man is an imposter.

At least they will feed us in jail.

I need exit papers.

What are you running away from?

I am running to someone.

I am not crazy.

There is a canal right outside, jump in and start swimming.

Now what, you are not going to faint on us?

I was in this room before.

Everyone was polite and kind.

This isn't a soup kitchen.

You seem to be a gentleman.

I haven't heard that word in a long time.

Life hasn't been too easy for anyone.

They gave me a name at the hospital.

They told me I had amnesia, there was nothing they could do about it.

Tell us what you do remember.

Have you heard the rumours?

Everyone has.

She is a street sweeper.

It's not gossip, it's the truth.

I need to find out who I am, but I am not going to lie to do it.

I wish I had your confidence.

How do you become the person you have forgotten you ever were?

You are the ones who don't stand straight.

Bowing is a sign of respect.

I bowed to someone ones.

I was a boy, I didn't know any better.

She is a natural.

She's charming

The aristocrats all spoke french, they thought _ was for common people.

Thank you sir, your confidence in me with be justified.

That was a joke, we have wonderful telephones.

Our little troublemaker has been found.

Funny businesses going on there.

Why was I brought here?

You stopped shaking, I see, that's good.

What is the charge.

Life has been good to you, you have a job, food on the table, your own place in our new order.

The legitimacy of this government will not be challenged.

If you really were who you are pretending to be, they would kill you without hesitation.

Let's be friends instead.

It's the uniform and the job that make the bad impression.

Everyone imagines being someone else.

Look who you are and be thankful, the future of our beloved _ , not it's hated past.

I'm late for work as it is.

Thank you for your warning.

I hope we haven't seen the last of each other.

Your eyes, a man can look right into them...

Be careful, they will give you away.

Have I made myself clear.

They know where we are living.

I don't like these people.

If you don't want her, I will take her.

Next tome I won't go so easy.

That makes two of us.

There must be more to life than just surviving it.

Don't act so tough.

This is my favourite few.

He was an anarchist.

We make ourselves better than our circumstances.

Who raised you?

I raised myself.

What's that across the river?

I want to be someone who belongs to someone.

Tell me about that little dog.

I loved him so much.

I am not as strong as you think I am.

Close your eyes.

You have worked hard, you earn it.

It's a music box... and it's broken.

How did you do that?

They are cancelling trains left and right.

We are not even close.

You were the only hope I had.

I said I was sorry.

I didn't trust you enough.

It's a diamond.

A secret she kept, but why I don't know.

Don't tell a soul till the moment you must.

I had to make sure I found someone I trust.

It's the only thing I have, without it I have nothing!

We are done for if we go back there.

I didn't trust either of you with it.

I don't blame you.

I talked my way into two coronations.

Are you sure we have got the right papers?

God bless you!

He is not just an aristocrat, he is an intellectual as well, he is a dead man on both count.

There is no more first class.

I am in a compartment with a crazy woman.

She sounds like a dragon.

She was beautiful, voluptuous and married, everything I look for in a woman.

Did you love her?

Is there a problem?

We are looking for someone who is illegally leaving the country.

We know what happened.

Her tears will betray us.

They are decent men, they won't hurt us.

Once e are across the boarder we are save.

When I make a mistake it's a big one.

The compartment was empty.

We must put an end to these rumors.

Here is a little traitor, claiming royal kin.

Finish the job for your father like a good son.

Leave her floating in the _ .

You are the word and the shield of the revolution.

It is really very simple, you merely point the gun and then you pull the trigger and the job is done.

Learn something!

She will break your heart

Be quiet.

First rule, don't mix business with pleasure.

I am ready to be astonished.

I don't think he has ever been in a real bathtub.

I'll be alone.

She can't always be resting.

She is an old woman who has outlived her place in history.

If only I could lose hope entirely.

Another day, another imposter.

I didn't ask for they love, I was their _ .

They all do their homework.

The great war was the war to end all wars.

I am not looking for work.

But when they gave the order to fire, no one could pull the trigger.

Still up to your old tricks?

I am glad you are not dead, that's as far as I am prepared to go.

Didn't you get my letter?

I am not the woman you remember.

That was then, when the world was beautiful.

There is a young woman I want you to meet.

We are going to change history-

Stay with me, _, I'm frightened.

I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to pay me a compliment.

She is never in a good mood.

The composure, we did a good job.

I needed a stiff glass of vodka.

She wouldn't even look at me.

I was cold and hungry and desperate when I met you, but I wasn't dishonest!

I hate you for that!

She only wants what's rightfully hers.

Try to imagine her life since her parents, sisters, little brother were murdered.

I lost everything I loved that day!

God will judge you harshly, _ ,history already has.

He turned his back to you!

It was my life you played with.

No wonder you were dismissed from court!

People like you deserve every bad hand life deals.

I admired the way you were proud of who you are, despite your circumstances.

Please be seated.

Spare me my family history.

I didn't think you would be so cruel.

That was before they murdered everyone she loved.

How dare you sit without my permission?

I am trying to see the resemblance, I don't trust my eyes.

I have found solace in my bitterness, it drips steadily, like a black poison, it doesn't disappoint me.

Tears will get you nowhere.

You can't be anyone unless you first recognize yourself.

Do you know what it means to lose everything?

I am a historian of the heart.

We never know which goodbye is the last.

It's never too late to come home.

All that matters is that we found each other.

No wonder my parents laughed at you behind your back.

Quit while you are ahead.

Now, where is your young man?

You have made this the happiest day of my life, make sure it is yours as well.

I mean you no harm.

I belive I'm damned to eternity for not pulling that trigger as surly as if I had.

What will you tell them?

She'll live like a queen, even though people don't want queens any more, well the _ do, but they are crazy.

I don't want to be in love with someone I can't have for the rest of my life.

I'm not your prince.

She was a dream, a beautiful dream, a dream that only time will fade.

The new order has no need for fairytales.

The case is closed.