#((is arrested by the pun police))

[wanlingnic]

An arctic exploration crew trapped on an island. What crimes will they commit?

More Beast Wars Human AU here!

[604to647]

Red Herring

3.3K / Detective Tim Rockford x fem!reader

Summary: You make Detective Rockford a Halloween costume.

Warnings: 18+ Content (MDNI please).  Established relationship, nicknames as usual (Shutterbug, baby, gorgeous), lingerie, semi-public sex, desk sex, oral (f receiving), unprotected PiV, bad puns, half-assed costumes.

A/N: Since The Rockford Portfolio was born from @mermaidgirl30’s Ocean Challenge this summer, I thought it was only fitting to write the same couple for Jamie's Halloween Writing Challenge (as always though, the stories in the collection can be read standalone ☺️)! Tim's hatred of Halloween is heavily influenced by Amy Santiago from Brooklyn 99 🤭🤭 Happy Halloween and spooky season everyone!

Dividers by @saradika-graphics 😘 / Series Masterlist

Tim was right.  Halloween at a police precinct is a mess.

The streets outside are absolute mayhem, crawling with costumed Halloween revelers stumbling and celebrating in various states of undress and inebriation.  No one seems to care that they’re causing a ruckus right outside of a building full of cops.  Even walking up the stairs to the main doors, you had found yourself side stepping at least two incidents of vomit, and you still feel a little worried about leaving the trio of drunk Power Puff girls on the bench outside even though they had giggled that they were fine when you asked.  There’s no safer place for them to be, you suppose.

The inside of the precinct is no less chaotic than it is outside.  It’s exactly as Tim had described.  You chuckle to yourself as you pass a couple of patrolmen headed out as Jedi Knights and think back to your conversation earlier this month when Tim told you he would be working on Halloween.

Curled up in Tim’s lap, you’re scrolling through TikTok as he watches some police procedural on the TV that he keeps grumbling at when you come across a few spoopy videos, “Do you think you might want to do a couples costume for Halloween, Detective?”

Tim actually grimaces.  He hates Halloween with a passion, “Oh Shutterbug, I’m so sorry – I have to work Halloween.  I work every Halloween.”

“Every Halloween?”

“Yeah - ugh. Halloween is honestly such a gong show.  People think costumes make them invincible for some reason,” he closes his eyes and scowls at the memory of Halloweens past.  “Every patrolman works overtime and is out on the streets breaking up fights, putting people in the drunk tank, getting drunk drivers off the streets.”

He’s not done; Tim brings his paw of a hand to his face and massages it in irritation, “The entire detective squad comes in to help process every idiot that’s brought in: DWI.  Underage Drinking.  Disorderly Conduct.  Assault.  Vandalism.  Trespassing.  Theft.  You name it, gorgeous.  Halloween is a fucking mess.”

You chuckle a little, you’re not used to seeing your normally unflappable detective so out of sorts, nevermind at the mere thought of a children’s celebration.

“Does everyone hate Halloween like you?”

Tim cracks a smile at this, “No one hates things the way I hate things.”  This has you giggling – Tim can be terribly grumpy.  “I guess not everyone.  The precinct gets decorated and there is a costume contest.”

“Oh!” You perk up at this, “And they arrest people in costume?”

“Might as well,” Tim’s face screws up in annoyance again, “It’s not like anyone respects the uniform on Halloween.  You have better luck getting compliance as Godzilla.”

For a second, you imagine Tim sulking behind his desk, filling out public intoxication reports dressed as Batman and you have to stifle a snort of laughter, “But not you though?  You don’t dress up?”

“Nope.”

“What’s the costume contest prize?” your eyes twinkle.

“No, nope,” Tim kisses the nose that you’ve scrunched up in mischief, “What do you plan on doing for Halloween, Shutterbug?”

You look thoughtful, the truth is you’re not really up for anything too exciting this year, “I’m probably going to volunteer at the library to give out candy, then I told the girls I’d meet up with them at a pub for some food and drinks.  Then they’ll head over to a bar or club or something that’s hosting a Halloween party and I don’t really want to do that.  Maybe I could come hang out with you?”

“Of course you can, baby.  But just be prepared, it’s going to be messy.”

The bullpen is loud – every desk is occupied by a dog tired, costumed detective taking down statements, yelling into their phone, or typing aggressively away on their computer – some of them doing all three.  The holding cell is overflowing, and the occupants are either wildly indignant about their detainment or completely unphased and appear to be continuing whatever reveries that had brought them in from behind bars.  There is no in between.

The commotion is so much more unruly than it usually is; it might be unsettling, except for how comical it is to see Tim’s colleagues in various costumes doing their very serious jobs. At a quick glance you see: a bumblebee, a Pikachu, two pirates, an Aquaman, and three Howls from Howl’s Moving Castle.

The juxtaposition of these outfits to the cacophony in the room is hilarious.  You spot and wave to Tim’s partner, Detective Arnold Calloway, who’s dressed as Elvis on your way to Tim’s office.

Tim’s door is open but before you announce yourself, you take a moment to ogle your handsome boyfriend as he types, brows furrowed in concentration at his computer.  He’s not in costume but you can’t complain – Tim's usual crisp white dress shirt stretches taut across his broad frame, his hunched shoulders restrained slightly by the unforgiving leather of his gun holster. His tie is loose but it’s the only thing that’s loose - Tim’s rolled up shirt sleeves strain to contain his beefy arms, and from where you stand, you can see his exposed forearms flex tightly with every furious punch to the keys on his keyboard.  Even without a costume, Tim Rockford looks like a superhero.

“Happy Halloween, Detective.”

The smile that breaks across Tim’s face when he looks up and sees you is nothing short of breathtaking, it sends a blooming warmth through your chest that quickly winds its way down between your legs.

“Happy Halloween, Shutterbug.  How’s your night going so far?”

“Pretty fun!  The library had so many kids coming in – I gave out so much candy!  And dinner was good – the girls say hi.  What about you, baby?”  You walk around Tim’s desk and lean down to place a sweet kiss to his lips before massaging his weary shoulders.

Tim sighs, “As good as can be expected for this godforsaken holiday.  I’ve been to the hospital for interviews twice, and now I’m processing a mountain of misdemeanors.”

You ghost your lips behind Tim’s ear and smile when the little puff of air you blow makes him groan.  Planting chaste kisses to the back of his neck as you continue kneading the hard muscles of his back, you chirp mischievously, “I have something that could make your evening more fun, Detective.”

Tim leans back and spins his chair around to face you, smirking, “Oh yeah?  What’s that, Shutterbug?”

Chuckling, you reach into your purse and take out a headband with two springs coming out the top like antennae and hold it out to Tim.

“What’s this?”

You point to the tops of the springs: on one you’ve glued an empty packet of Trident gum, and to the other is affixed a small dog toy in the shape of a shoe that you had found at the dollar store.  Giggling, you place the headband over Tim’s head and tuck the ends behind his ears, “It’s your costume, Tim.  You’re a gumshoe.”

Tim groans and drops his face into his palm.  The resulting bounce of the little objects over his head makes you giggle even harder, “See?  You were already dressed up and you didn’t even know it.”  You wave you hand over Tim’s body.

Detective Rockford peeks through his fingers and when he sees your impish grin and how much joy your mischief is bringing you, he can’t help but grin himself, “Alright, gorgeous.  Where’s your costume, then?”

Delighted at how easily Tim’s given in to your silliness, you reach back into your purse and pull out your own headband – a red one with similar antennae to match his black, but at the end of each of your springs is a little plastic fish, swaying and jiggling erratically as you slip the band onto you head and jovially announce, “A red herring for my dashing gumshoe to chase!"

Tim lets out a low gruff of a laugh, one that crinkles the eyes that are already always soft for you, his smile as relaxed as his shoulders now are, “Where’s the rest of your costume?  Shouldn’t you be wearing red?”  He teasingly does the same waving motion you did to him earlier over your closed trench coat jacket.

If possible, your smile gets even wider when you reply, “I am!  You want me to show you?”

“Sure, baby.”  To Tim’s surprise, instead of opening your jacket, you coyly saunter over to his office door, closing then locking it.  On your way back to him, you start to undo the knot of your jacket belt, letting the lapels of your jacket fall open to reveal the sexist red lace lingerie set Tim’s ever seen in his life.  As you slide between Tim and his desk, perching gingerly on the edge, you snicker at your boyfriend’s drooling expression. 

“Trick or Treat, Detective Rockford?” you flirt, fingers hooked under the warm leather straps of Tim’s gun holster, lightly tugging to beckon him closer.  He obeys.

Hypnotized, Tim slowly brushes his fingers over the frill of the delicate fabric that lays tantalizingly over your delicious curves – leaving goosebumps on your supple skin everywhere his hands graze, and even places they don’t.  He unwittingly licks his lips at your pert nipples, already at attention and tenting the crimson red floral lace that hug your tits so prettily – Tim can’t help himself; leaning forward in his chair, he takes one in his mouth.

The soft gasp that you let escape exhales to a throaty groan as you feel Tim’s hands travel down your body; they come to a momentary rest at your hips - tugging teasingly at the ruffled skirt of the garter belt before trailing down the straps.  As he rubs the bands that loop around your mid thighs between his thick fingers, Tim chuckles into your chest, “Is that what you wore at the library, baby?”

You giggle uncontrollably and shake your head, little fish above your head dancing wildly on their springs as you push back a little to show Tim how you’re still wearing your modest, library appropriate red dress, but that it’s been unbuttoned and left open under your trench coat.  Eyebrow cocked in amusement, Tim hooks his fingers into and pulls down the cups of your bra before diving back in, and you think you hear him mumble something like Dirty girl, through his mouthful of your breasts.

“You never answered my question – trick or treat, Detective Rockford?”

With some reluctance, Tim parts from the softness of your tits to lean back in his chair, ogling your near naked form shamelessly while he pretends to contemplate his response.  Finally, he scootches his chair forward and cups one of his powerful hands beneath your boobs and presses so that you lean back – his other pries open your legs so you can accommodate the expansive width of his shoulders.

“I think you already chose ‘treat’ for me, Shutterbug.”

Your girlish squeal as Tim lays a sweet kiss to your clit through the thin fabric of your panties is louder than you’d like and you quickly cover your mouth with a hand in order to muffle it.  As Detective Rockford open mouth kisses your panty clad cunt, your eyes roll to the back of your head and the flatness of your palm becomes insufficient to contain your escalating moans – when Tim pulls the gusset of your underwear to the side, the snap of cool air hitting the wetness of your exposed core pulls a cry from your throat that can only be stifled by biting down on the heel of your thumb.

The sting from your teeth causes you to buck into Tim’s face and from that moment forth, there’s no holding back his animalistic lust.  Tim licks fat stripe after fat stripe through your folds to the tip of your hardened nub – every new path made by his tongue dug deep and true.  Your pooled arousal is collected and swirled over your sweetest dips and waves, then sucked and savoured in his mouth like his favourite whiskey.  It might actually be.  Tim’s own groans and growls at the sweetness of your taste vibrate right into your cunt and straight to the tightening band beneath your belly.

Eyes taking in the lascivious sight above him, Tim’s dick strains painfully in his pants: his pretty girl is laid near bare and gorgeous, tits bouncing while her face screws up in pleasure, mouth stuffed with her own fist. You're a true heaven that contrasts starkly to the hell of mundane paperwork that Tim thought would make up the bulk of his Halloween shift, still sitting next to you on the very same desk you’re currently writhing on.

With a feral grunt, Tim tongue fucks your slit while his nose and the elastic hem of your pulled back panties work your slippery clit in tandem.  He builds and builds until he knows you can’t take anymore, then pushes you over the edge with the tenor of his baritone command to come.

You crest with a wild cry that’s barely contained by your now aching and wet hand, drool running down your wrist as your body shudders with wave after wave of indescribable pleasure.   

Only when he feels your lithe body settle does Tim rise to his feet and undo his belt.  Lips and facial scruff still shiny with your release, he grins a wolfish grin, “Now it’s time for 'trick', gorgeous.”

Kissing you roughly, Tim busies himself with pulling out his leaking cock as you return his affections just as fiercely, spurned on by the taste of you in your own mouth.  He pulls back to clean his face with the back of his arm, and you whimper when you unsuccessfully chase after his lips.

“No need to be greedy, Shutterbug. Your Detective is going to fuck you now,” smirks Tim, notching himself at your entrance and sliding in with ease.

The heft of him still leaves you breathless every time.  When you look up at Tim, you find his face relaxed in a look of reverence that tells you he feels the same about the welcome of your warm walls.

“Going to fuck you hard and fast, 'kay baby?  Don’t have much time.  Can’t have anyone coming in and seeing my pretty girl split on my cock” Tim’s mouth slots over yours and he drinks in your moans at his dirty promise.  One of Tim’s meaty hands grips your hip so hard you know he’ll leave a bruising imprint of his desire for you to find tomorrow, the other grabs your lacy garter belt like a cowboy would the reins of his horse; as he starts to ride you, every punishing drive of Tim’s cock leaves you marveling that the delicate fabric doesn’t rip to shreds under his efforts.

“Fuck me, Detective,” you breath, nipping and sucking along Tim’s strong jaw to behind his earlobe where he’s most sensitive.  Sticking out your tongue to lick down the column of Tim’s throat, your mouth jolts against Tim’s bobbing Adam’s apple as he continues to thrust into you like a man possessed.  The scrape of your teeth and the soothing lave of you tongue over the responsive skin at the base of his neck, cause Tim to groan, low and throaty.  When your fingers thread through his soft curls and yank down so to expose more of his neck to your sinful mouth, he retaliates by reaching for your breasts, roughly kneading and worshiping before directing his attention to your nipples.

Without letting up on your sopping hole, Tim rolls and pinches, pulls and tweaks your pert peaks, all while gritting out dirty words of praise:

Pretty thing came to a police precinct tonight to get fucked, didn’t she?

So fucking hot in your little outfit, gorgeous just for me.

This pussy's made my whole fucking night, baby.

You can only hope that your near pornographic wails are adequately buffered by the thickness of Tim’s chest, as you bury your face against the wall of him.  The combination of your tight and slick cunt and the added friction of your panties, now soaked with your cream and pressed taut against his cock, has Tim on the expressway; when his pace starts to grow frantic, he leaves your perfect tits to press his thumb down on your clit.

“Oh fuck, Tim!  Fuck, I’m going to c-” Tim’s solid and comforting circles on your crying nub are enough to send you over the edge again.  Your heaving breaths against his neck and the fluttering of your walls as they clamp down on his length send Tim barreling to join you soon after.

Hands still in Tim’s hair, you card through his dampened waves as the two of you rest forehead-to-forehead, exchanging tender butterfly kisses and soft words of devotion during the comedown from your twin highs.

Knock, knock.

“Rockford.”  It’s Arnie.

Tim slips out of you and tucks himself back in before walking to his door, waiting with his hand on the handle to make sure you’ve had time to right and button up your dress before he opens the door to see what his partner wants.

“Rockford, do you have that repor- What’s that?” Detective Arnold Calloway’s eyes widen and he points to the still bobbling springs on the headband that Tim never took off his head.

Tim has no words.

Your hand flies to your mouth and you barely contain the hysterical giggle that threatens to escape.  Arnie looks past Tim right at you, and his face breaks out in the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen.  His eyes dance with mirth and you can’t help but blurt out the answer to his unspoken question, “He’s a gumshoe!!!”  The two of you shriek in laughter as Tim stands stiffly, eyes closed in disbelief, willing himself to disappear. 

You bound up to the door and loop one arm around Tim’s waist, the other you arch to point to your own headband, beaming, “I’m the red herring in his case!”

Arnie nearly drops the files in his arms to hold his stomach as he cackles, “Perfect costumes!  Never thought I’d see the day when Rockford dressed up for Halloween!  Forget the report – I need a picture.”

“No pictures,” Tim practically bellows as he storms back to his desk in a huff, headband adornments swinging wildly.

Winking at Detective Calloway, you whisper, “I’ll get a picture,” before you walk back into Tim’s office and settle in on the couch.  Tucking your legs under your bum, you pull out the book you checked out of the library earlier before looking up to your sweet boyfriend who's gone back to typing his reports as if he wasn't just ravaging you on that same desk minutes earlier, “Love you, Detective Rockford.”

Tim glances up at the sweet angel who willingly keeps him company on this horrid night and makes it decidedly less horrid; giving you a soft smile, he winks, “Love you more, Shutterbug.”

The Monday following Halloween, you’re putting the finishing touches on dinner when Tim comes home, carrying a large box that he deposits on the kitchen counter with a look of pride and amusement.

“What’s this?” you ask with curiosity, giving Tim a deep welcome home kiss before opening the package to discover a case of wine.

To your gleeful howl of laughter, Tim tells you that he won the precinct Halloween costume contest this year. 

You’re looking through the box, picking up the bottles and reading the labels.  Malbec.  Gamay. Beaujolais.  Barbarossa.  You take out a bottle of Nebbiolo that you think might work with dinner and exclaim in delight, “Congratulations, Detective!  This is a great prize!”

Tim sweeps you into his arms and presses his lips to your pretty pout for a searing kiss, murmuring, “I got a better one right here.”

Visual aids for this instalment:

[sleepybugeyes]

I read through all of Elias/Jonah's dialogue (as you do) plus some relistening and mentions of him, so here's a big list of some fun things and behaviors I noted!

I thought he made a lot of eye puns/jokes, but he only does it once in mag161, however he does enjoy making jokes. "Creativity never was their forte." from mag80, "You want my account? My sworn testimony? My statement?" from 82, "If you die, I’m afraid you probably won’t be able to claim your expenses." in 116 and "I only have two eyes, after all." in 120. no one ever laughs at his jokes only he finds them amusing

His last words telling Jon a sarcastic or mocking "good luck" are mirrored earlier as he also tells Basira good luck the last time he sees her, and Martin, as he's getting arrested

He loves gloating. "I forget how new you all are to this." from mag92, "Coffee is not as good for disguising tastes as you might think." in 98, "She’s hoping that even if I see it coming she’ll still be able to overpower me. She’s wrong, of course," in 102, "A masterpiece, isn’t it?" abt his panopticon in 158 and of course his whole monologue in 160

He does his budgeting on tuesdays and his scheduling on wednesdays

He also likes getting lost in work

in mag40 he makes up proper incompetency (said he didnt know how the fire system works, while he later admits he was actively waiting) just that once, but more so he acts like he doesnt get the full picture (doesnt know whats in the tunnels, whats strange about the institute) or acts too late and apologises (not stepping into jon's stalking behaviour). Which makes me think he is quite fine letting people think less of him but unless he has something to hide hes not actively looking to give the impression

in mag92 elias slides the papers for basira across his desk, but you don't hear him take them out before, meaning he prepared and got ready for this before he called the police

in general he's a very preparing man, Lukas steps in when Elias is arrested so has has control over who'd run it. in mag118 he says he prepared something to hurt martin (my speculation is that he likely has some trauma that could hurt you prepared for any person that could cross him, just in case he needs it). When he gets arrested he has something prepared so he doesnt get killed and ofc s1-4 is preparing Jon for his grand ritual

Elias admits the idea for his ritual kinda fell into place after Getrude didnt do anything about the people's church in march 2015. He shot Getrude and appointed Jon shortly after so "when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you." is pure dramatics as Jon was hired 4 years prior

also he got his ritual in 2018 so he managed to acomplish his life's goal in only 3 years, love his grindset 🔥

We never get a number for how many people Elias has killed in his ritual, the real life millbank has held over 1000 people at once, but id imagine his one panopticon held less than a whole complex

its really interesting to me in mag92 that hes SO sure they all know he's talking to them of his own free will. is he just that dead set on being in control or making sure they take no credit for his confession

there is a clock in Elias' office (but it's only heard in mag98)

He has killed people but Elias is very much not a blood thirsty person. Getrude and Peter are both surprised when he results to that. He's very much just ruthless and does not care, if to get his way he has to kill someone. It doesnt seem like he's ever happy to do so, maybe this is a quirk of being eye aligned and getting rid of any type of knowledge is painful (he does for example never want Tim to die at the Unknowing), or he just finds covering those murders up a hassle

for the Unknowing Elias books them all hotel rooms, how thoughtful

something cute to me that Jon was too good at the Eye that Elias couldnt meet him face to face post coma

In mag158 he implies that even Institute employees not in the archives are tied to it, at least enough that they could suffer or die if it burned down

between finding other people just as tools to watch and discard and saying empathy holds you back he was definitely a very very lonely man

He is a very breathy person. He sounds breathy when he talks. He takes deep breaths to ready himself and before he uses his powers. And he often breathes through his nose before speaking or during pauses

He has said Jon's name 62 times, only twice calling him "Jonathan" and called him archivist 25 times (24 in the mag120 statement, 1 in mag138 and 1 in mag161)(he also kinda calls him The Archive in 160)

other fun amount of words: know (65 times), see (42), martin (35), detective (20), eyes (20) and eye (9), afraid (9) and "bullshit" (1)

its still insane to me they added all of those sound effects of Elias' cuffs in prison, thats something fun to appreciate. It also means its canon he gestures quite a bit!

[rogueddie]

Sweet Nothings T | 545 words Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is wanting to do everything with someone, even if it's nothing special

Eddie has his keys in hand, holding his jacket with his teeth as he gets ready to leave, when someone knocks on the door.

"Hiya, Ed," Steve greets with a grin, that quickly falters. "Oh, sorry, is it a bad time?"

"Sorta? You're not interrupting anything important."

"But you have other plans. No worries, I'll- uh... what are you going out for?"

"Need a part for the van. Was gonna head up to the scrap yard, see if I could find anything there."

"Oh, cool. I could help, if you want?"

"You sure? It's pretty boring."

"Nah, it'll be fun! C'mon, tell me what you need."

Steve steps back, waving Eddie over to his car.

"You sure you want us to go in your car? Some of the shit we're grabbing is gonna be dirty."

"So I'll clean it? Come on, I'm excited now."

"Excited to go digging through a scrap yard?"

"With you? Yeah." He walks back over, gently pushing Eddie towards his car. "We can make it fun! And I know Henderson has been on your ass as much as he has been on mine about us finally hanging out."

"You're just bored with nothing else to do, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am. But, hey, two birds with one stone!"

Eddie sighs, finally stepping to the passenger door, rolling his eyes. "Fine, whatever, let's go."

Steve whoops, doing a little fistpump, before rushing to the car when Eddie raises an eyebrow at him.

He keeps up conversation the entire drive and Eddie quickly realises that Steve... he genuinely loves cars. He doesn't know a lot about how they work and, knowing now that Eddie does, he has a lot of questions.

Eddie is happy to answer them.

At the scrapyard, they end up distracted almost immediately. Eddie ends up spending most of the time showing Steve how engines work.

Thanks to the visual and practical aid, Steve learns fast. It only takes him two attempts and a lot of running around, tearing other shit apart, to get one of the abandoned, broken engines to roar to life.

It sputters out as soon as it starts, but it does start.

"This stuff is so cool!" Steve says, bouncing on the balls of his feet, as they finally head back to the car.

Thanks to how much destruction they'd thoroughly caused, finding the little replacement part that Eddie needed hadn't taken long.

"Yeah, surprisingly so."

"Aww," Steve coos, teasingly. "But are you saying that because you mean it or because you love me?"

"It can't be both?"

"That- oh, haha."

"Didn't even mean to make that pun. I'm just that funny, huh."

"No, your jokes are terrible."

"Steve, hey," Eddie stops, faking a serious tone. "You can't say things like that about your boyfriend, it's not nice."

"What are you, the love police?"

"Yes. Put your hands up, you're under arrest."

Steve sticks his tongue out at him, before sprinting off to the car.

Eddie is hot on his heels, struggling to keep himself from laughing as he yells after him, unable to bite back the grin.

He can't help but wonder how he'll ever manage to come back to the scrapyard without Steve.

Nothing is ever as fun as it is when they're together.

[pavo-ocxllus]

❝ 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐲! 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭…! ❞

romantic shenanigans ensue when you start working for an infamous law firm and most definitely doesn't have to do with my recent hyper fixation on law at the moment.

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠…

detective!shikanoin heizou as the number one detective at fontaine legal firm. as well as the pursuit of justice, he's also on the pursuit of you!

forensic scientist!albedo who's disillusioned from the thrilling profession of delving into the ground zero of crime scenes. though, with a case such as you, he might be wrong.

police officer!xiao who takes his job too seriously and instead of trying to arrest childe, he should be arresting you for stealing his heart ;)

prosecutor!cyno who's presence in the court is as vicious as his horrible puns. though—you can't deny that the tension between the both of you rival that viciousness.

pre-law!gorou with a strangely strong sense of smell and hearing, he possesses a not so strange sense of justice (and you!)

rival attorney!alhaitham who can't seem to stop meeting your path—or rather, crashing into it. with the (admittedly one-sided) feud stemming all the way from freshman year of university, it eventually led to the two of you unfortunately falling (in love?) into the same case.

interrogator!kaeya who's personality alone could be enough to pin this whole fiasco on him one bad day and simultaneously believe he's an angel on earth the next. somehow, his talents as an interrogation officer is the only thing about him that stays consistent, and perhaps something else...

mob boss!childe that can't stop finding different ways to drive you crazy. from remaining to do things that make the case worse against him to his endless teasing, the fact that he's actually innocent is the most daunting factor of working with him.

delinquent!arataki itto who is clearly innocent of his involvement in diluc's case. what kind of incriminating evidence does an anonymous tip have that made everybody believe he almost assassinated him?

and defendant!diluc, the man of the hour and whose car accident acts as the center that three cases revolve around. why does one have the motive to kill the wealthy wine tycoon, and most importantly, who was responsible?

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠…

klee, who despite her strange nonchalance towards explosives and having alarmingly close access to ingredients to make them, is quite the adorable young girl that loves you, her big brother albedo, and the two of you together very much!

hr!kuki shinobu who is absolutely done with heizou's fontaine legal firm's antics. she does have the qualifications to work as an attorney rather than at human resources, but she wouldn't want to work with itto more than she already has to—and he doesn't even work there!

attorney!yanfei as one of the few sane people working at fontaine legal firm. though she rarely get's involved in the daily chaos of her workplace, her fiery spirit in the courtroom knows no bounds!

part-time barista!kaveh that was (begrudgingly) ordered by alhaitham to get a job so he could stop pathetically drowning in student loan debt and his latest architectural project. horrible with drinks and customer interactions outside of his usual field, it's safe to say he'd rather be in crippling debt.

hu tao serving as the proprietor of wangsheng funeral parlor and as a partner in crime to itto and heizou, much to everybody's annoyances. queen of "it was getting a little chummy around here," she is a reliable source of information.

and perhaps more?

IMPORTANT...

i'll attempt to have a taglist! hopefully, it doesn't end up as a whole-ass nightmare, but how it works is that i will reblog the start page every time i update the routes with the taglist in tow and hope for the best! if you want to be added, you can message me or send an ask! though, just to be safe, you can turn on notifs!

there's a lot of possible routes cuz i'm lowkey a sadist, four "bad endings," ten "good endings," a neutral ending, and maybe a few secret endings (who's gonna get them first?? 👀)

there isn't a set schedule for the time being! where i live in, i'm busy with preparing for a standardized test (staar will be the death of me). please be patient with me!!

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠… heavily inspired by law dramas, tears of themis, shojo manga, manhwa, the works; fluff, hurt/comfort, interactive fic, angst

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬… heavily inspired by law dramas and tears of themis (so i wouldn't have to do too much research lmao), definitely not realistic MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH DEPENDING ON WHAT ROUTE YOU TAKE LATER ON

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐥 𝟏𝐬𝐭, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 (𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨)

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

What would be the most awkward moment for main 10 Skeletons that even their S/O would feel second hand embarrassment for

Undertale Sans - That day he had to explain five times to the police station the pun he told a police officer who didn't like his humor very much and arrested him for insulting behavior because they didn't understand the joke...

Undertale Papyrus - Clearly that time he was showing his S/O the power of net traps before walking straight into one and finds himself hanging out above ground in the net. Not his proudest moment.

Underswap Sans - That time he ran after a criminal, tripped on a brick, and fell in the middle of the road right in front of his S/O's car, while the criminal ran away. He swears he's a professional.

Underswap Papyrus - S/O caught him training how to ask them on a date, but it's a body pillow of them. Honey blushed so hard when he noticed them just standing there that he fainted to protect himself.

Underfell Sans - That day when he thought someone was insulting his S/O so he insults back, and then the poor guy gives him a confused look and asks whoever they were on the phone with to wait a second because a crazy skeleton is assaulting them for no reason lol.

Underfell Papyrus - That day he said you can never beat him in battle, so you pushed him back playfully and he fell on his butt, having not predicted that. He forbid you to mention it ever again.

Horrortale Sans - That day you said you wanted fish and he suddenly jumped in the river to catch one, not letting you finish your sentence as you obviously meant going to buy some in a supermarket.

Horrortale Papyrus - He insisted on organizing vacations because he's super good at finding cheap hotels, even on the beach. You ended up spending three weeks in a naturist camp because he missed the information lol.

Swapfell Sans - This royal ceremony where his pants cracked right at his butt but he was too stubborn to change clothes so everyone saw his butt on live TV for 3 hours.

Swapfell Papyrus - You asking him to behave during a family dinner and him walking in dog poop and putting dog poop everywhere on the white floor inside your parent's house :')

Fellswap Gold Sans - That day he realized a guy he had business with paid him with Monopoly bills but he only noticed once he got home, very happy about his acquisition. S/O had to hold their laugh so hard when his expression shifted to pure rage.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - That time he ran screaming your name and then jumped on your back to hug you... Before realizing you're standing right next to him, confused, and that he just jumped on a perfect stranger.

[anglercrit]

Alright. Pentleton has been (Unintended pun) finished the last image I sent was a Upscaled one I did myself before the leak ended up adding a better quality one. So here he is.

Bonus is a Bio Sheet (I added a bit of my Mental Illness to him.) I removed the Jack The Ripper connotations and went with a fictional killer with no ties to the real world.

Flags:

Transgender + Trans Masc

The Flag of Great Britain

AuDHD Flag

BiCurious + Pomosexual + Cupiosexual (All those kinda conflict but he's confused. Give the mans a break.)

For the screen readers who can't read:

Pentleton, Edward “Ed/Eddie” (born as Pentleton, Elizabeth “Eli”) | Sir Pentious / Saint Repentious

Eddie was born on March 4th 1807, London, England. To a high class family, growing up Pentleton always had a love for designing things such as varous inventions. Growing up Ed had always felt uncomfortable with his identity as he always felt comfortable as a male rather than a female, but never spoke out due to not knowing what his feelings were, he identified as Pentleton and not by his new perferred name in order to not attract any attention to himself. Pentleton suffered from an undiagnosed disability (It was later revealed it was a variant of Anxeity, Autism, ADHD and Biploar Scizoeffective.) spending most of his time in the safety of his family home he inherited he was a recluse preferring to actually make things that better suited his desires then basic human interaction. Pentleton was always unlucky. Despite being well off growing up, bad luck seemed to follow him everywhere, and as he grew into adulthood and the desire for basic human interaction dwindled. Pentleton always found comfort in doing hos own thing, and going to the library. One particular afternoon, (Circa. 1828, April 12th) Pentleton was apprehended on suspicion of murdering two young women in downtown London, despite the fact he was obviously not the killer and he was simply at the wrong place, at the wrong time. The police arrested him anyways, and with severe questioning, Pentleton folded, confessing to a crime he never committed out of duress. Because he “confessed” the police took that as guilt and sentenced him to public excution by hanging. While he was being held, Pentleton’s home was immediately searched and they found a prototype of a children’s toy called “Egg Boiz” the basis was they were essetionally a toy manufactured for the poor children of London to play with, for free. Most of Eddie’s blueprints were seized and are now being displayed in the “British Museum” to this day. Before Pentleton’s excution, there was rumors surfing around of his innocence as more murders were found when Pentleton was being held in the Stocks before he was sent to the hanging tree. No one really thought the killer was innocent mainly because of his “confession”. On exactly April, 22, 1828. 20 days after Pentleton’s conviction, Pentleton was executed in front of a bunch of high classes. His last words were allegedly: “I have a lot to say, but one of them is that humanity is willing to vindicate someone they viewed as dangerous, when the dangerous person is them all along. Part of being human is realizing everyone makes mistakes, well. You all made a huge one, by killing one snake, you freed another. And that’s a price that those poor girls will never understand. But hey, life goes on, I hope and pray that in the final events of my death that none of you make the same mistakes killing an innocent man.” After the hanging, Pentleton’s body was immediately burnt and the house he lived in is now a museum tour of some sorts, long after Pentleton’s death the killer struck again killing men and women over the course of the years. And ended up being found in the end. When Pentleton arrived to Heaven, Saint Peter didn’t gain him entry on the grounds of “Admitting to a murder” Pentleton’s unfair judgement made him damned for eternity not truly belonging in Hell.

Yup, I cooked and Im gonna go to bed. If people see this on my acc that means I posted it there too.

DAMN you did in fact cook- I just wanna say Saint Repentious is such a clever name i love it

[kammomilla]

I wrote 5 pages worth of text so this is one long post. A whole wiki for my oc because why not

Reddie Martin – Reagent 0928 

Real name: Brunhilde Renata Martin 

Fake ID: Mandy Brown 

Mafia alias: Reddie Martin  Nicknames:  

Hilde (by mother and aunt Karolina) 

Rena (by childhood friends) 

Renata (by father and grandparents) 

Reddie (by the mob)  

Italian Family tree: 

Angelo & Marcella Martin (grandparents)  

Santo “Saint” Martin (great-uncle, deceased) 

Leonardo “Leo” Martin (cousin) 

Lando Martin (uncle, deceased) 

Lucio Martin (father) 

Frieda Martin (Leo’s mother, Lando’s wife) 

German Family tree: 

Ingrid & Hermann Jung (grandparents) 

Wilhelmina Martin (Mother) 

Karolina Treumann (aunt) 

Fritz Hoffmann (step-father) 

Background 

Reddie was born in Germany in 1935. When the Soviet Union took over, Reddie had been ten years old. The Martin family ended up living in DDR, East Berlin. Lucio Martin had been disfigured by the war and unable to provide for his family. Reddie smuggled illegal goods from West Germany when they turned 15. The same year Wilhelmina divorced Lucio and remarried to Fritz Hoffmann, Reddie’s former primary school teacher and former nazi supporter. Lucio was transported to a facility for chronically ill. Reddie never forgave this and blames their mother for tearing the family apart.  

Eventually they were caught by KGB and Reddie crossed the border to west in late 1956. Reddie sailed across the Atlantic and ended in Cuba where they met the Martino crime family members in 1957. Reddie became a wise guy and disguised themself as a man for months. Only capo Toni Pontini and soldier Bruno Caruso knew. They were nicknamed Reddie due to their reddish hair and ‘ready cash’ pun. Reddie did racketeering, sabotage and spying and partook in drug trade and battery. One Cuban officer was shot by them.  

After a while, Reddie chose to move to New York and unite with Santo Martin’s gang. They received new papers as Mandy Brown by Toni’s associate. Santo’s gang didn’t believe Reddie’s tale and kicked them out. Reddie did more racketeering and trade while taking low-paid jobs and trying to get hired by the local mafia for two years. The Police arrested them for stealing and having no permit for firearm. Reddie managed to contact Toni who then hired a corrupted lawyer and Reddie got out without bail.   

A week later, the Police double-checked Reddie’s papers and the pistol they were gifted by Toni. FBI got involved and Reddie escaped to the streets. Now homeless, broke and wanted, Reddie saw Murkoff’s ad and joined the Project Lathe Two in 1959 September. The plan was to get “rehabilitated” long enough for FBI to give up on the chase and go work for the gang again at the headquarters, Louisiana.  

Personality

Reddie acts like they were born in the mob. They are blunt, business oriented and indifferent to violence. Reddie says what’s on their mind whether it’s a tasteless pun or a weird memory no one else understands. They like to joke a lot and tell wild stories some which are exaggerated. Reddie often takes newbies under their wing and guides them through the trials, only to later blackmail them for favours.  

In a way, Reddie comes across self-centred: they think adding Franco Barbi as a prime asset was targeted at them. They don’t have proof of this, but it feels like it is. The same goes for other reagents: if one behaves suspiciously, Reddie is quick to think it has something to do with them. Paranoia plays a role in this. Years of illegal activity has taught Reddie to be observant and on their guard with everyone. The other reason is that Reddie views themself as a potential threat to Murkoff. Again, a wild assumption without proof but for Reddie it makes most sense.  

Reddie tries to be a team leader, but they are emotional and juvenile type in nature. If someone tells them they can’t do something, they’ll prove them wrong. If someone commands them to be still, they’ll complain and make an excuse to stand. If someone tells them to act like a lady, they’ll curse and raise their fist. Simply, Reddie does when asked, not ordered. They don’t like to be bossed and they negotiate on everything. 

Reddie’s weak point is navigation and patience on trials. The maze is their worst enemy. Once they learn how each task works, they tend to rush into the action, alerting ex-pops nearby and setting off sound traps. Reddie bashes through doors instead of unlocking them too. The teammates following behind are the ones paying the price for this.    

Relationships

Relatives 

Leo Martin – Reddie's younger cousin. Reddie taught him smuggling in the past and told him to come join them in New York once he’s old enough. Leo could be living in New York by now.  

Lucio Martin – Reddie loves him dearly and would like to bring him to America if possible.  

Santo Martin – Reddie never met the great-uncle but they heard stories and saw photos of him. Grandpa Angelo and grandma Marcella received letters from him that Reddie would read.  

Wilhelmina Martin – Reddie has a complicated relationship with her. She is their mother, but Wilhelmina has never fully accepted Reddie the way they are. Deep down, Reddie wants this acceptance despite everything that has happened between them.  

Fritz Hoffmann - Reddie despises the stepfather. He mistreated Reddie in school and continued doing so after marrying Wilhelmina. Reddie is ashamed of him since Fritz had been a vocal supporter of Hitler’s government.

The mob 

Toni Pontini – Toni took Reddie in and taught them the ways of the mafia. He saw potential in Reddie and was willing to act against rules to make them a member.  

Bruno Caruso – Bruno came up with the nickname Reddie the day they met. He taught them how to place car bombs.  

Salvatore Barbi – Reddie spoke with Don once on the phone. He mentioned the Martino family could make them a permanent member if Reddie’s up to it.

Sinyala Facility 

Mother Gooseberry – Reddie finds her somewhat scary. She reminds them of Wilhelmina whenever she’s aggravated. They try not to interact with her during trials. They know Dr Futterman is a puppet but they often forget this and think Futterman is a separate entity that says funny things and makes Reddie laugh. Dr Easterman recommends more trials with Gooseberry since her presence gets interesting results. 

Leland Coyle – Reddie thinks it’s ironic there is a cop calling them guilty because it’s true. Reddie is more bark than bite with him though. It’s fun to shout back at him and make him act like a fool as long as there are bricks and a stun rig available. Once the chase is on, Reddie is quick to vanish from sight. They are planning to build a bomb and bring it to the police station – a little payback for the justice system. Plus, to see that cop crying his eyes out.  

Franco Barbi – Reddie and Franco never met before but Reddie was told who he was. Toni and the rest gossiped about him in graphic detail. When Franco’s prime asset debut came, Reddie had been shocked to see Don’s son face-to-face. They think Murkoff’s planning something by adding him. Overall, Reddie views Franco as a fellow mobster and isn’t jolted by his level of violence. They want to form a possible allyship with him, if only Franco would stop aiming Lupara at them and hear Reddie’s offer.  

Trivia 

Reddie’s haircut is inspired by photos of younger Santo Martin before he moved to US. 

Reddie hates their first name Brunhilde, always has. It was their great-grandma's name. 

Their favourite colour has always been yellow, and their favourite flower is sunflower.  

Reddie is fluent in German and their Italian is decent, yet they intentionally speak like a mafioso. 

Reddie had one affair in Cuba. With an older, wealthy and married, woman named Melina.  

Reddie has a fedora in their room. They never wear it but it’s there as an inside joke. 

Reddie is often misgendered and people can’t decide on their pronouns so they can be she to one person and he to someone else. Reddie doesn’t care. 

Reddie has a habit on dropping hints of their criminal past and random names. They never explain if someone asks.  

[hadleysmis]

'The burning library: Benjamin, Hugo, and the critique of violence'

By Deborah Elise White

“[…] In Les Misérables, the secret political society […] ‘Les amis de L’A B C’ […] poses publicly as a club supporting the spread of literacy – a politically and socially acceptable cause. But in French, ‘Les amis de l’A B C’ is a homonym for ‘the friends of the abased,’ l’abaissé: ‘The abased – that is the people. They wanted to raise them up […]’

L’abaissé may also be translated as the ‘abject’ or the ‘wretched’; in other words, it is a synonym for Les Misérables, as if the very title of Hugo’s most famous work encrypted a riddling reference to the alphabet.

‘Les amis de L’A B C’ testifies […] to benign liberal humanism (a campaign for literacy) and revolutionary struggle (a fight for the abased) and in doing so it also testifies to the violence of inscription in which both projects articulate themselves as if they were one and the same. Notably, the law cannot read the revolution that reveals itself in the punning contingencies of the letter […] the police do not know how to read – which is why the conspirators of Les Misérables are never arrested […]

Puns are serious in politics because the violence of the letter ensures that the canons of meaning necessary to sustain law cannot even sustain themselves.”

I.e. The usage of puns is to expose the inconsistencies in laws and political systems.

Reference:

White, D. E. (2009). The burning library: Benjamin, Hugo, and the critique of violence. European Romantic Review, 20(2), 247–260. https://doi-org.yorksj.idm.oclc.org/10.1080/10509580902840533

[kikuism]

hi mariam!! how about you? any books you're looking forward to reading? ooh, or manga?? any shows or movies that you enjoyed recently? or new tasty meals or baked goods that you've been proud of? 💌 🥐📚

hi jenna! 🤎🤎🤎 ooh let's see

for books, there are a lot on my tbr, but i'm excited for lady macbeth by ava reid! i really love how lyrical her writing is and i always look forward to anything she writes. i'm also tentatively looking forward to the familiar by leigh bardugo — i've only read the six of crows duology and ninth house, but i love a historical setting so i think i might like this one more than ninth house. oh, another book i enjoyed whose sequel i'm eagerly waiting for is the art of prophecy, it's a martial arts fantasy and it's exactlyyyyy what i wanted to read for so long! i needed something to fill in the green bone saga hole left in my heart, and while this isn't exactly a serious epic family saga, it had just the right amount of martial arts and compelling characters to leave me satisfied. it's honestly like if fujimoto wrote a novel. none of these characters were taking themselves too seriously and the writing wasn't taking itself seriously but at the same time there were epic fights scenes and emotional scenes that packed a punch (no pun intended). i really enjoyed it, i loved how funny it was. the fact that the main characters are majority women and one pathetic chosen one warrior is sooooo fujimoto coded. this boy can't do a single thing right and it's up to one of the greatest martial arts legends, an old woman, to take him under her wing and make sure he lives up to the prophecy that's been foretold. included in the cast is the most cringe fail assassin i have ever read in my LIFEEEEE, she's soooo embarrassing when it comes to flirting with other girls it's crazy. she's an insane killer but can't pick up a date to save her life. and who's she trying to flirt with? the other main character, a stoic warrior who's fighting for her people's freedom, she's soooo 🫣 so it was hugely entertaining and i can't wait to get the sequel from the library. i honestly Need to read more fantasy books like this, it's so much fun.

oh, i also finished bel canto last night, and it was.....strange. it's about a mass hostage situation that eventually morphs into something surreal and romantic. yeah, i think romantic is definitely the word bc there is no way this would happen in real life, it was just so impossible to me that these high profile hostages, foreign dignitaries and ceos and whatnot bonding with their captors who want to start a revolution like 😭 in the end they all become a huge family which was equal parts charming and equal parts baffling. so i had to really suspend my disbelief. they were really under house arrest with their captors for 4.5 months, that's crazy. but eventually i stopped asking how they didn't push for negotiations more fiercely and how the police and crowds outside didn't just break in and deal with it and just enjoy the language. i think it's about how people can form impossible bonds in impossible circumstances and so from that aspect it was charming and surreal. i've read 3 books from ann patchett and there's no doubt she writes really beautifully. it's just that after about 100 pages i was like okay....i get it, really. do we really need 200 more pages of this? and the epilogue was stupid i'm sorry...so it was a strange experience.

for manga!! tbh it's been soooo hard for me to get into manga lately, i really think this is because as the years go by it's just harder and harder for me to read on my phone, it's just not a comfortable experience. but then on my laptop, the screen is too big 😭 BUT i did actually start an ongoing manga called firefly wedding, which is about an aristocratic girl with a chronic illness who ends up marrying an assassin for her safety after she's captured. the premise sounded really interesting, so i started reading, and i actually really loved the beginning. the girl really just wants to abide by her duties and marry someone respectable for the sake of her family (she's quite no-nonsense about it, which really reminded me of naomi....) during the course of the story she realizes that because of her condition, she doesn't have much time left, and wouldn't she want to spend it doing what she wants instead of what's expected of her? so what ends up being a marriage of convenience ends up becoming more complex as she starts developing feelings for the assassin. and the assassin, well, he's kind of insane 😭 he's a yandere and like ofc he's written like that, very possessive and toxic, and at times he can be a little too much for me. i really liked their dynamic at the beginning, when they were constantly trying to one-up each other in little sly ways—sooooo good. and obviously someone like him has never known love, so he's always testing her limits to see if she's really committed to him because in truth he also just wants someone to love and be loved in return. and he's really cocky which i really love, which made me really drawn to him....but i liked how she didn't take any shit from him and she made sure he knew it too. i really liked watching their feelings develop.

it's just, when she starts developing feelings in return, and their romance further develops, so does his possessiveness.....'the thought of you with another man is more agonizing than death' ummm 🧐🤔🤨 so like, moments like that made me go oh! is that supposed to be romantic? and i'll admit some parts i was like 'girl he's crazy!!!!! how can you be falling for him???' hgkshfjdj but i get it, he knows nothing of the world of people and relationships and he's learning slowly. he's obviously written like that on purpose, this is the only way he knows how to operate in the world, he doesn't know better. AND something else i really like is that during these scenes, she's visibly unsettled; she makes her discomfort clear to him, so i really appreciate that, and that takes him down several notches. i like how he listens to her that way.

they're slowly shaping each other's worldview, which i like. i like how they both learn from each other; she learns how to take chances, and he learns how to listen to others and take accountability.

plus the manga does this thing where it presents double meanings all the time and i just had to screenshot this moment, it's from a scene where she has to pretend to seduce a client in order to get something valuable from him, and he starts getting physical with her, and the assassin comes to the rescue, and obviously everyone outside can hear that something's going wrong but they won't intervene bc it's a brothel:

'we wouldn't want to be in the way of someone who is trying to make their beloved fall more deeply in love with them' hellooooo?????? i gasped.

she has a scar on her chest from a surgery she had to undergo because of her weak heart, and she's self conscious about it, but then the assassin shows her all of his scars and says there's nothing to worry about, it was really cute.

and then some time later her bodyguard shows up, and he's like 'im gonna take you back home no matter what! i can't believe you've been out here like this for so long' and i was like ohhhhh my god please don't make him an annoying overbearing love interest please please please BUT i was pleasantly surprised!!! he's concerned for her, of course, and he has feelings for her and they've known each other since childhood, but he also ends up coming to respect her wishes and autonomy and hes now cooperating with her and the assassin to make sure she can live out her own life. it's really sweet. i do roll my eyes at the rivalry he and the assassin have though, but i love how they're all working together and they both respect her, it's great. anddddd i'm obvious like this but like the bodyguard more hgjshfhf he's the nice one (and his name his kou!!!) and i've always liked the nice guys instead of the bad ones.

so yeah i'm enjoying this manga quite a bit. plus it takes place in the meiji period which i love. i just wish it was already completed, because it's very hard for me to consistently maintain an interest in ongoing manga bc it only takes a few missed chapters for me to end up abandoning it oops. and it's soooo funny that my main complaint is that the love interest is just too much of a yandere bc that's literally the whole point 😭😭😭 it's exactly what it says on the tin, but i have to share my truth....i'm just not used to it at all so it's a bit much at times. sometimes the scenes that are supposed to be romantic make me go oh 🤔 but i'm excited for him to meet her family.....

the art style is so nice too!!! i really love it

as for anime, i did watch two episodes of the apothecary diaries and i liked it, it didn't hook me, but i plan on continuing it eventually. i think maomao is an interesting protagonist! there's some new anime i want to watch, like windbreaker, it just looks really nice. and i need to catch up with dungeon meshi, i haven't watched the last 3 episodes oops. as for movies, i watched the sound of music recently (everybody clap, i watched an old movie) and i liked it, it was charming! too long, but it was cute and corny. i also watched the classic korean thriller old boy, which was crazyyyyyy....that's all i'm going to say. also watched midsommar, which was.....kind of....mid 😭 sorry. i think my expectations were too high, because hereditary scared the shit out of me. but this was just.....okay. it was too overt for my liking. florence pugh was great though. oh, and for shows, i want to watch shogun, bc i just can't believe it's as good as everyone says it is 😭 idk why, i just have to see it for myself to believe it.

no updates on baking and cooking, it's just been the same old...i'm actually trying to just perfect the basics. i want to make the tastiest eggs and the perfect pizza. lately i've been kneading dough by hand and it's so satisfying and i can actually feel when it's ready instead of relying solely on the mixer, and my pizza has been coming out fluffier and softer so i love that.

i'm also getting back into crochet (it's like an on and off relationship at this point) and i always think i've forgotten but i'm pleased to note that it's muscle memory now. i'm crocheting a basket and tbh i really love crocheting things like that. i don't know if i would wear crocheted clothes but i really love making baskets and bags and whatnot. i just wish this wasn't an expensive hobby.....for this basket i had to buy 4 skeins of yarn and a new hook which ended up costing $50 😭 so i think that's why i just don't do it as often as i want to. however, i really do want to get into tapestry crochet/intarsia, i did it when crocheting my kobo sleeve, but it was messy and i want to make another one and improve my technique, maybe even make some wall hangings.

sorry for this novel length response omg!!! are there any new books you're looking forward to jenna!!

[stormflower8]

Silly Game Time: Tell us all a dumb joke! If English isn't your first language, feel free to tell us one in your first language! (I'd almost prefer it, in fact.)

okay, we'll go one in english and one in urdu!

to clarify, english is my first language, but I consider urdu to be my home/native/mother language, even though I don't speak it very well.

my personal favorite joke (in english):

a lumberjack walks into a forest, but unbeknownst to him, it's a magical forest, filled with magical trees. the lumberjack strolls around for a bit, before settling on a tree. upon seeing him, the tree cries out,

"wait! I'm a magical talking tree!"

the lumberjack then raises his axe and yells,

"and you will dialogue!!"

("dialogue", as in, talking/conversation, sounds like "die a log")

oh, another bonus one in english-- the infamous monk joke https://kvothe-kingkiller.tumblr.com/post/149732197007/violent-darts-the-desolated-quill

this shit. this piece of fuckin shit /pos

now, in urdu (this one's short I promise!)

what did the police officer say to the egg?

"you are unda arrest."

(unda means egg in urdu)

simple, but kinda hilarious. I fuckin love puns, can you tell?

[sexyleon]

Resident Evil Rock Band AU

Featuring Claire as the frontman, Leon on lead guitar, Jill on the bass, and Chris on the drums.

Claire, Leon, Jill, and Chris form a band named Resident Evil a la Måneskin, a slutty little rock group with hard vocals, a heavy bassline, and songs about getting fucked and destroying the world

Claire is the frontman, lead singer, and face of the group. She's your classic riot grrrl rockstar, an outspoken feminist and anti-bioterrorism activist. She's a little rough around the edges but loves a good laugh and will protect the people she loves with her life. She's been arrested several times for protesting, vandalism, and punching assholes who deserved it.

Leon plays guitar, and yes he is that guitarist, the one everyone falls in love with. While his performances are over the top, he's much shyer offstage and doesn't quite know how to take a compliment. Fans love his interviews because he's so genuinely honest and unintentionally funny. His dad jokes have gone viral (pun intended) several times. While not as openly controversial as Claire, he also advocates for victims of bioterrorism and actively volunteers to help cities in crisis after attacks.

Jill is the band's stoic and beloved bass player. Quieter than her bandmates, Jill is the heart of the group. While everyone plays their part in writing and composing RE's songs, Jill is the main lyricist and producer of their tracks. She often streams live from their studio and shows fans the process of making music. She is very visibly ex-military and keeps up with her training, sometimes filming her exercises and regiments. She can be found with Leon volunteering during bioterrorism crises.

Chris is very similar to his sister. Ex-military and outspoken, he is the voice of the group and has gotten into his fair share of scandals for not following the rules. He is loud and passionate and openly adores his bandmates and fans. Out of everyone, he is most willing to go out of his way to interact with fans and will always leave them with a piece of encouraging advice. He is the jokester of the group and fully believes that any publicity is good publicity. He is the only member who still takes military contracts to work on the front lines of terror attacks.

Resident Evil was formed after all four band members survived the atrocity of Raccoon City. Claire had been in the city visiting her brother Chris while on break from college. Chris and Jill worked together on a special task force with the police department and lived in the city. Leon, a Raccoon native, was a local firefighter. Chris, Jill, and Leon were all first responders when the outbreak started, with Chris and Jill organising rescues and helping survivors make it to the safety of the police station and Leon working triage with them. Claire volunteered her help and the four of them worked together until the virus breached RPD and there was nothing left to do but survive.

None of them ever really talk about what happened in the city, but many of their songs condemn the actions, ideologies, and greed that allowed Raccoon to fall victim to bioterrorism. Their most popular song is a ballad in remembrance of the victims of that day, ironically seconded by a raunchy tune about fucking until the dawn because you're never promised tomorrow.

No one knows if anyone in the band is actually dating or not (except Claire and Chris who are known siblings and obviously not together). Leon is frequently seen making out with Claire and Chris both on and off the stage; Claire has been caught on camera multiple times with Jill; and Jill is often seen out with Chris, though most fans think she's dating their stage manager Carlos Oliveira

RE performs an annual charity show for victims of bioterrorism, all of the proceeds of which go towards NGOs like TerraSave. The group is currently working to organize a charity festival with bigger bands for greater proceeds

(To Be Continued..)

Ahh! The start of a larger AU! Please reblog and comment if you enjoyed <3

[glittercakes]

What pushed Chase into wanting to become a police officer and when happened his first meeting with Lightning Masque?

PS How would Chase react if he knew that his fellow rookie police officer colleagues secretly gave life to a Lightning Masque fanclub?

(Context: In the Sparkle AU, Chase is a hot-headed rookie police officer (yes, I went there with the pun) and the love interest of Lightning Masque, Ash’s Dashing Thief alter ego)

I imagine him to be related to the Jenny clan, with him wanting to be like them. His first meeting with Lightning Masque was when he was robbing a museum to recover a stolen artifact (he’s the karmic Robin Hood kind of thief) and Chase persued him into the night. Obviously, Lightning Masque got away, and while he will never in a million years admit it, Chase found the thief to be incredibly charming.

Fast forward a few months, and Lightning Masque has become well known in the city and has gained quite a few admirers for his charming mannerisms and tendency to deal karmic justice, even among the police. When Chase found out that some of his friends started a secret fan club, he angrily reminded them that Lightning Masque is a thief that needs to be arrested. He definitely wasn’t blushing and wanting to join the fan club. Nope, not at all. How could you even suggest such a thing?! He’s a complete professional with no time for such things! Really.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

have done or do you plan on doing a high in california lyric analysis? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Blue like the light surrounding me It all seems so different when I'm around it See all this waves and waves of green Keep on coming like a dream Until nothing is the same

he's feeling blue just like the blue lights around him - blue light reference to sitting in front of screens, artificial light that makes you feel restless / or a reference to spotlights, stage lights / or perhaps his own way of describing blue skies / i also think police lights which could be that nagging fear of getting arrested

around "it" - around what? the blue light? or is "it" already the thing causing the waves of green in the next line?

"waves of green" - in relation to the song title, references weed :) i see it visually like wafts of dense smoke coming at him. this is the shit that makes him feel good again, takes him out of that headspace that's got him blue, too focused on his responsibilities or on his life in the limelight (isn't a pun but still fun)

blue <> green. nice.

Sun goes down and it changes Never holding on to anyone else When you go, when you go, I can take you Somewhere better than where you were before

"sun goes down" - no more harsh (blue) lights anymore, nice continuation of the prev verse. - "it changes", his mood is lifting, he can let go of what's been on his mind bc he's been holding on to heartache

"never holding on...": he has a one and only love, the only person or thing he's holding on to

to him, getting high is so good it's the best state of mind he promises "you" to have - talking like the weed advocate here / "somewhere" can mean the altered state of mind as well as the literal place he's serenading, california

when the sun goes down he can take his one and only somewhere better than where they were before. baby just let go let me show you what's good in the dark where everything is allowed.

I wanna be in California Smoke some weed outside in the summertime They always said it's so bad for me Everything I try makes me feel alive Spent my whole life just thinking I had to change Spent my whole life just thinking I had to change I wanna be in California Smoke some weed outside in the summertime

man loves to smoke weed. it's about being outside, smoking that shit, without needing to hide. he also doesn't want to be embarrassed or worry about it being bad for him bc there's nothing at all that makes him feel that good

ohhhhh but is there more to it is there more. "spent my whole life just thinking i had to change." he wants to be outside doing what he loves, living authentically, enjoying the summertime, he doesn't want to change who he is. sounds a bit deep for being about weed but hey louis speak your truth. i'll just also see it as a double for him being a raging homosexual

I could just roll the windows down Let the golden hour wash through the room I hope it always stays around All the clouds of smoke come into bloom

he's enjoying the sunlight, enjoying being outside, smoking. he's loving the freedom he has in california, where he can smoke weed in his car with the windows down. bc you can't do that in most places </3

sunlight shining in making things come into bloom....... but it's clouds of smoke............ beautiful

he wants marihuana rights, he wants it forever, he wants the weed fumes to surround him at all times. he wants gay rights, he wants it forever, he wants gay vibes to surround him at all times.

When the sun goes down and it changes Never holding on to anyone else When you go, when you go, I can take you Somewhere better than where you were before

(lyrics repeat after this)

CONCLUSION <3

so, after this, it's pretty obvious this song is about louis and the nature of his love. all of the references to being free. not having to hide. letting go. feeling alive. being in a better place. not getting arrested for loving what he loves. <3 and it's bluegreen <3

hjdfgj okokok i'll be quite honest, i do think this is a normal undeep song about weed - for the most part. this man unironically loves weed and just wants to smoke wherever he goes without the fear of getting in trouble. in a way, however, this feels very.......... unnecessarily deep for what he likes to smoke yk? so my own personal opinion lands in the 80% about weed 20% about being free ratio. but that can change, and it does depending on the day. california was the first state in the us to legalise weed, while in the uk it's very very illegal still. he's dreaming of a world where it's all just like california in the summertime. but that pre-chorus taken out of context is just sex. and he's singing about knowing himself, accepting what he likes, and wanting to be surrounded by it at all times. and it can simply be all of those things

this one turned very unserious immediately but i couldn't do this song justice if i did the analysis any other way. stream high in california

[fanfic-corner]

Marvel Humour Pt2

Hello everyone!! We're back for round two of Marvel humor fics to brighten up your day.

You can find part one here.

Battle Plans by prettybirdy979 (1.8k)

They say never piss off the nurses because they're the ones who actually run the hospital. They can make your life a misery if you do.

Shirley Benson has never had to instruct her nurses to use this power en-mass before but to protect the identity of Daredevil, protector of the innocent and destroyer of the wicked? She'll happily make the police regret ever setting foot in her hospital.

Leap Before You Look by 94BottlesOfSnapple (2.1k)

Or, 5 times Matt Murdock jumped out a window to avoid his feelings (including horrible embarrassment), and 1 time he couldn't.

Double Blind by smilebackwards (2.3k)

Matt comes to, flat on his back, with Iron Man and Hawkeye hovering over him. “Oh fuck,” Stark says, less than comfortingly.

Double-D in Your A-P-P by 94BottlesOfSnapple (2.4k)

Foggy is legally obligated by the laws of friendship to download any and all mobile games starring Daredevil.

Unfortunately, that means eventually he has to explain to Matt why he's got a superhero dating sim app on his phone.

Say You Don't Know Me (or Recognize My Face) by ShowMeAHero (2.9k)

Daredevil is kind of dark and broody. He doesn't want anyone to know his real name, he never smiles, and he has kind of a loner attitude.

Matt Murdock, on the other hand, is completely unrecognizable to Jessica the first time she really sees him.

Repeat After Me by battybatzgirl (3.8k)

Tony’s face hardens as he says, “What kid.”

“I don’t know, some twelve year old—”

Below him, the kid coughs out, “Fifteen.”

“—Fifteen year old—”

Tony scrubs a hand across his face. “Don’t tell me he’s wearing a dorky shirt with a chemistry pun on it.”

Rhodey frowns. That was oddly specific. Glancing down, he looks at what little he can see of the kid’s shirt—which isn't much since there’s so much blood now, but what could be once called a cartoon joke is printed on it. “Um, yeah?”

“Son of a bitch.”

Hieroglyphics (or you are under arrest for being attractive & ruining my life) by The_Readers_Muse (4.4k)

As far as randomly acquired superhero powers go, he is going to admit right now that his are kind of lame. Okay, lots lame. Sort of. But considering Matt is a complete and utter dingus with about the same self-preservation instincts as a mosquito flying full tilt into a bug zapper, he figures an extra edge - as fucking weird and annoying as it is – is probably worth the headache.

in an empty moral space by blueh (5.4k)

“Bring Spider-Man to us, Mr. Stark,” High-heels says and rattles off an address. “If that bug isn’t here in the next twenty four hours, then your intern gets it. We are not going to ask a second time.”

There’s a pause.

Then, “You want Spider-Man?”

“In exchange for your intern,” High-heels affirms.

“Spider-Man,” Mr. Stark repeats. He sounds more amused than worried for Peter’s apparent safety.

also known as: Peter Parker is held hostage…in order to get to Spider-Man. Throw in some Accords reconciliation and, well, Peter’s life just got a whole lot weirder.

This is the worst timeline by Hittinmiss (6.6k)

Chair Dude: I have some good news and some bad news

Chair Dude: good news is you didn't miss any training for decathlon

Chair Dude: bad news is that they decided the field trip without you ://

Man of Spiders: why is it bad news??

Chair Dude: because Flash decided to pick the compound and no one said no so…

Man of Spiders: Dude why didn't you say no???

Chair Dude: I would have been out voted Dude!

Chair Dude: I also wanna see the compound as well so yeet

Peter Parker's Super Secret Snack Stash by coconutknightshade (7k)

"It's D, Peter. We talked about this."

“No it’s not, Ned. Because if it were D then I would be wrong and that would put me at a 65% already on this practice exam and we haven’t even gotten through it all. I can’t fail another history exam, Ned! This last one is worth 60% of our grade! If I fail this final then I’ll fail the class and if I fail the class then I’ll be kicked out of school-”

“You’re top of our year, Peter.” You can almost hear Ned’s eye roll as he talks over Peter.

“- and if I’m kicked out of school then I’ll be forced to live on the streets exchanging sexual favors for money and I can’t do that, Ned! I wouldn’t even know what to charge- I mean, what’s the street value of a blow job, Ned? Do you know? Because I sure as shit don’t.” At this point Ned is outright giggling over Peter’s theatrics.

Five times the Avengers don't find out about Daredevil and one time they do by Nautika (7.2k)

“And then I had to help Daredevil climb out of that dumpster, freaking Daredevil, can you believe it?” Clint waved his arms around, nearly sweeping his cup off the table in Matt’s apartment.

Five Times Peter Parker Pretended to Be Asleep by blondsak (16k)

...and the one time he actually was.

Or: sometimes, faking sleep can work to your advantage. When it comes to trying to fool a certain genius, overprotective, superhero mentor, Peter finds this to be doubly true.

from your perspective, the world is flat by blueh (18k)

Peter successfully goes on a field trip, accidentally catches the school bleachers, survives a bus explosion, and reveals his identity as Spider-Man.

…not necessarily in that order, much to the confusion of his entire decathlon team.

also known as: Peter Parker and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

What I Really Need is You by happyaspie (18k)

or: Five Things Peter Needs From Tony and One Thing He Wants.

i see myself (in you) by parkrstark (28k)

“Hey, c’mon, before long we’ll be back to normal and we’ll look back at this and laugh.”

Peter just looked up at him with a slight glare as he scratched at his chin again. The itch of the facial hair was driving him crazy and Tony found it highly amusing. “You’re in the body of a 15-year-old boy. Why are you smiling?”

“You’re in the body of Tony Stark. Why aren’t you smiling?” Tony asked with a smirk.

turn back the clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by madasthesea (35k)

Peter gets stuck in a time loop. In it, he lives through some of his worst nightmares, only to wake up that morning and have no one remember. He needs Tony to help him get through.

And if that isn't bad enough, his identity is revealed over and over, every day.

Avocados and Avengers by whitchry9 (51k)

Matt meets Avengers. Avengers don't know he's blind. Things happen. Hilarity ensues. Matt gains new friends and Foggy is totally jealous.

Child's Play by SPICYJARVIS (59k)

Spiderman has been missing for one year, two months and five days.

Clint Barton happens across a homeless kid named Peter Parker.

It's a Secret to Everybody by Snapdragon_in_the_Snow (97k)

Peter gets to spend all summer living in Avengers Tower with Tony. When the Rogue Avengers get pardoned and come back to live at the Tower too, they're confused as to who Peter is. However, once they see how Tony acts around Peter, that confusion goes away, as they know for certain who Peter must be - Tony's secret son.

Tony and Peter decide to make the most of the situation, and play along. They hope they can keep up the act all summer. But they soon learn that they barely have to act at all.

And there we have it! If you have any other recommendations to share or fic recs you'd like me to find, please send me an ask or a message. And as usual, thank you to the fantastic writers for sharing their fics with us!!

[widowshill]

something very arresting (pardon the unintentional pun) about how the early arcs rely on an inherent authority of the legal system and its enforcement as a force to be reckoned with (though non-absolute, susceptible to fault and inaction and corruption). roger’s paralyzing fear — of the manslaughter charge being brought up again, bill malloy, the perjury, etc — relies on an assumption of the coroner, of the sheriff, of the collins lawyers, of the carceral system at large as legitimate players in the game. and again with Vicki in 1795, where the justice system (once again far from an unquestioned force for good and righteousness) is still a powerful vector that threatens not only her life, but her role as narrator (separating her away from the events of the narrative, weakening her own understanding and our trust in the telling). and I just compare this with where I am now at the tail end of leviathans, where they are for the most part, self governing and pretty much enforcing their own kill-for-kill justice with little municipal oversight or interference. while the police/the jail/etc are still present, they hold a tiny fraction of their former capacity to affect character fates or motivations. barnabas burns down a shopfront and there’s not even a question of his possibly facing legal punishment for it; when philip serves a little jail time as the fall man for jeb’s murders, it’s because jeb has decided it’s so (making state punishment an apparatus of the supernatural force, rather than its own separate force, or a Christian apparatus as it was in 1795). sheriffs, detectives, all discarded somewhat easily as mild annoyances, without much repercussion. think if Patterson had been found murdered c. the early 100’s! which isn’t necessarily surprising as we shift towards the preternatural — five years wrongly convicted in prison is nothing compared to 200 years in a box, or an eternity in hell, and having a witch after you is a little more distressing than george patterson — but it intrigues me how institutionally it matters less and less (which you could also apply to the boats and the cannery and other collinsport frameworks, but that’s another post).