#((i was gonna have her either take him either to her flat or a shop to give him soemthing but i didnt want to make this too long HJKGDKH))

[primordyalsoul]

howl, the cat, peeking in for snacks ? does she have more snacks ? it's been a year since he's last visited but does she have some more snacks ?

@swynfyr || a familiar face . . .

Her footsteps are gentle upon the pavement, as silent as snow and just as fleeting, the red depths of her gaze now shallow, vacant, taking heed not of the identical buildings, identical streets, blurring into a grey mass, barely squinting in the unrelenting sun that beat upon her nape, scalding. How many times now had she walked this path ? How many weeks had passed indistinguishable from the last, days, minutes, whittling down to naught that could sustain the infinite within, who, hungry for more, ate at its own tail over and over till body and soul was numb ?

She turns the corner in a wisp of blue, clockwork motions betraying no hurry to meet the sterile walls of what could not be called 'home' anymore than this body could be called 'hers' with how languidly it moved without mind.

Then she's stumbling, almost tripping over an obstacle in her path, snatched back into the tangible that reminds her for just a moment that she's here — the flitting panic of unbalance, the brush of something soft circling her legs and pulling her attention back down.

❝ It's you, ❞ A gentle lilt of familiarity warms a tone usually so barren as she stoops to greet him, seeing the dark fur alight with gold from the sun, the intelligent green eyes that softened her own gaze. ❝ You remember me ? ❞

Memory is such a fragile, fickle thing, often shattering her grasp no matter how carefully she tries to cradle it, slicing her open with the shards of its absence, inflicting wounds she could never treat no matter how often the scabs bled, uselessly aware the dull ache in her fractured self with no means to mend it —

— but she remembers the gentle meows of the cat that bumps against her knees now, remembers his affinity for oranges and those striking eyes, and the recognition blossoms with warmth in her bleak heart ( for here was a moment, however fleeting in this present, of her self, intertwined with another life, a shared moment that yelled back against unyielding oblivion: I was here ! here is someone who remembers me fondly, as I remember them ! )

Now, she reaches out without thinking, not in listless disconnect of her self, but in a moment of her own human yearning to touch, and though her hands are cold, they are gentle as they pet his fur, the softness between her fingers prompting a small smile. But still, it falters as she realises she has nothing to offer but her own empty hands.

❝ I'm sorry. I don't have any oranges on me. ❞

[horangare]

omggg please do a part 2 to the dilf jeonghan fic

tis the season

pairing : dilf!jeonghan x college student!reader

content : smut (mdni u already know)

in which : it’s time for christmas break, and iseul is asking you to buy some time with her father so she can finish her last minute shopping. you’ve been meaning to spend some one on one time with her dad, and now you finally can

warnings : age gap (late 40’s jeonghan, early 20’s reader), daddy kink (i’m sorry but it’s also like barely there), pet names (princess, baby, good girl, slut, whore, sir), dom & sub dynamics, dumbification, teasing (dirty talk, degradation, praise), mentions of multiple orgasms, fingering, finger sucking, lingerie kink (kinda? i think?), u two want each other so bad, iseul (yeah she’s a warning in this one lol), hannie’s kinda mean but u like it

wc : 3.3K words

note : i was wondering how long it would be before someone requested this. srry it took so long omg i had no idea what i wanted to do w this i literally had like 3 diff ideas

part 1

By now, the Yoon household had become like a second home to you.

Even though it was just Iseul, Jeonghan, and that big maze of a house, it didn’t ever feel like anything was missing. Since Iseul brought you over the first time, things hardly ever changed. You’d still slept in Iseul’s room whenever you slept over (until Jeonghan made one of the guest rooms into a room for you, then the two of you both started having your sleepovers there), you still took a wrong turn trying to find the bathroom and ended up in the kitchen or the laundry room, and you still ended up bent over on a new surface somewhere in the house while Jeonghan had his way with you.

It was a comfortable routine. One you were upset would have to abandon for the next three weeks to drag yourself back to your dull little hometown to spend time with your family and a handful of other relatives who’s names you couldn’t remember even if you tried.

“You know you could just come stay with us,” Iseul said offhandedly one day when you mentioned how much you were dreading on returning home. The suggestion hadn’t held that much meaning when Iseul gave it, she already knew just how much you enjoyed coming over, but in that moment she had become your saving grace.

“Really? You mean it?” The girl just nodded, jumping in surprise when you pulled her into a hug and spun her around. “What would I do without you, Iseul?”

“Wow, it’s that bad, huh?” She laughed, patting you on the shoulder once you had placed her back on the ground.

“Oh please, you have no idea.”

You rode in Iseul’s car for the first time the next day. When she asked how you were planning to get there and you mentioned the countless number of times you’ve Ubered back and forth to her house, she nearly started crying and promised to drive you anywhere you wanted from now on. “Do you know how much money that adds up to? No more Ubers!”

So now here you were, in the passengers seat of Iseul’s white Honda Accord, gripping onto the handle above the door as Iseul sped down the roads with the most stoic look on her face you think you’ve ever seen. The Ubers may have been expensive, but at least they were safe. It confused you a little; you had ridden in the car with Jeonghan at the wheel before and never had an experience like this. Clearly Iseul hadn’t inherited those skills from him, but right now you were wishing she had.

“Are you alright?” She looked over at you when the car finally came to a stop at a red light. You nodded, one of your hands flat against your chest as you felt your heart threatening to beat right out of your ribcage. Iseul smiled, either ignoring the panic you were trying to hide or not picking up on it at all as she sped off as soon as the light had turned green. “We’re gonna take a shortcut, there’s way too much traffic right now and—shit!” The car lurched to a halt, both you and Iseul’s bodies jerking forward with the sheer force of the stop. “Oops, I almost hit the curb.”

You really needed your own car.

After spending the next eight minutes in Iseul’s death trap car, you pretty much threw yourself out of the seat when you saw that she was pulling into the garage to the side of the house. You considered kissing the ground, but you didn’t. Your sister was a worse driver.

“Dad, we’re home,” Iseul shouted into the warm interior of the house. There was no immediate verbal response from Jeonghan, he just snaked his way through the hallways of the space with a mug in his hands and a smile on his face.

“Hi, Seulie,” He hummed, letting his eyes wander over to you. “Hello, [Y/n].”

“Hi, Mr. Yoon.”

“How was the drive? Was there a lot of traffic?” Jeonghan had already started retreating back to the living room, you and Iseul followed, seating yourselves next to each other on the couch.

“It was fine. The traffic wasn’t so bad, everyone’s probably going to the airport.” Iseul hummed. She turned her head in your direction. “Dad’s happy you’re staying over. He pretends like he’s calm about it, but he giggled when I called him and told him earlier.”

Your body flushed with heat at your friend’s casual comment, your eyes flitting over to Jeonghan, who was staring down into his mug. The two of you haven’t gotten to spend much time together for a while since you were usually coming over to spend time with Iseul lately. He missed you.

“We’ll have the next three weeks to spend together, sir.” You smiled, finally getting him to look back at you. One of his eyebrows quirked upwards—he was expecting to keep that promise, but he wouldn’t say it. He would just expect you to act on it.

And you would.

You hadn’t acted on it.

A week into staying with Iseul and Jeonghan, you had spent almost every waking moment of your time with your friend. Baking cookies, decorating the house, watching Christmas movies, going ice skating for the first time in your life (and having Iseul laugh at you until she cried when you ate shit on the ice over and over again), and a plethora of other festive events. You had been having such a good time with her, the promise you made to Jeonghan had let itself slip from your mind. The most the two of you could do was kiss for a few seconds before Iseul came popping up from around a corner or shouting your name to the house in hopes of a response. She was his daughter, and you were her friend, but he was losing his patience. All he wanted was some time to have you all to himself.

Maybe today he would finally get the chance.

Monday morning greeted you with a six am phone call from Iseul, which you answered, your mind and voice still riddled with sleep. “Hello?”

“So sorry to call you so early, but I am totally gonna make it up to you.”

“Iseul, what—”

“Look, I have to finish shopping for presents. I don’t know when I’ll be done, there’s kind of a lot on my list,” She explained, and you thought she was joking. It was just her, you, and Jeonghan. How long could the list possibly be? “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know where I was. Something else…oh! Maybe spend some time with dad while I’m away. He gets lonely, y’know. Okay, that’s all, bye!” Iseul hung up the phone before you could even process everything she had said, leaving you staring at the device in your hand dumbfounded.

“Okay.” You sighed, dragging yourself out of bed and to the bathroom (the one connected to your new room, because you were sick and tired of almost pissing yourself because you walked into the study instead) to freshen up.

Finally, you thought. Finally you’d have private time to spend, just you and Jeonghan. The time you spend with Iseul was precious to you, obviously, the girl was your best friend. But if you said the reason you had wanted to come over was just to avoid your family and bond with Iseul, you’d have been lying. You smiled to yourself, wondering what the two of you would do, and you squeezed your thighs together if it would be anything like you had come to finish your midterm project.

You jumped at the sound of the door opening and peeked your head out of the bathroom, your body relaxing when you saw Jeonghan standing in the doorway, his hands behind his back. You sighed with relief, bending over slightly to spit out the toothpaste in your mouth and wiping your mouth.

“Do you and Iseul always wake up so early?” You asked him as he got closer. He shook his head.

“It’s usually just me that’s up at this time.” He mumbled. “Where is she, anyway?”

“Last minute shopping.” You said, finally turning your body to face his. His hands were still behind his back, and Jeonghan smirked when you tried to peek at what he was hiding. “What is that?”

“What, this?” He shrugged. “Oh nothing. Just something I picked up one day. It’s supposed to be your present, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give it to you now, hm?”

You gasped, your heart swelling with the knowledge that Jeonghan had gone out and gotten something for you. Both of his eyebrows shot up at the excitement creeping onto your face and he quickly turned away from you.

“Or maybe I should just wait until Christmas. You wouldn’t mind, would you? I’m sure the presents Seulie got for you will be better than this.” Still smirking, Jeonghan started to walk away but stopped in place when you pulled on his arm.

“No! I’m sorry sir, really am.” You pouted, reaching to try and take the present from Jeonghan, but he easily held it just out of your reach. “Iseul will be gone for a while. It’s…just the two of us.”

Jeonghan groaned at that. He loved his daughter, but he’d gone too long without getting to have you all to himself. Turning back around, Jeonghan placed the gift in your hands. “Alright, princess. Just one condition before you open this.”

“Anything for you, sir.” You but your lip in anticipation, eagerly awaiting the response he would give you. Jeonghan leaned down, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

“You have to do anything I say, got that?” You exhaled shakily, but you still nodded, and Jeonghan cupped your face, swiping his thumb along your bottom lip.

“Good girl,” he murmured, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. He tasted good, sweet, like hot chocolate. That’s probably what he’s been drinking in that mug everyday. When he pulled away, you whined, much to Jeonghan’s delight. “I’m not going anywhere. Go on, open your present.”

You smiled, giving your full attention to the neatly wrapped box in your hands, gently untying the silver ribbon holding it together and lifting the top of the box up. You gasped. Lingerie. Jeonghan got you lingerie. “S-sir, I…”

“Put it on for me. Right here.”

Stunned into silence by his abrupt request, your clothing was thrown to the ground with haste. Jeonghan watched you the entire time from his seat on the edge of your bed, drinking in the way you would fidget and avoid making eye contact with him. Yeah, you were a little nervous. He’s never asked you to strip for him, usually he would just rip off your clothes to avoid wasting any time. He really seemed to be enjoying the fact that Iseul was away.

“It’s pretty, sir.” You whispered, tracing your fingers over the delicate lace now adorning your skin. It was white with pale pink detailing, and the bra piece had mesh slips that went all the way around your upper body. The bottom piece was a thong with a slit at the crotch. Oh, and one more tiny little detail. It was almost entirely see through. “Did you have to get something with one of these…holes?”

Jeonghan nodded, pulling you into his lap, your back flush against his chest. “Makes things easier,” he said, trailing his fingers up your inner thigh. You exhaled shakily at the feeling of them circling around your wet hole. “Already so wet for me, aren’t you?” You nodded, unable to stop the moan that spilled from your lips when he pushed one of them inside you.

There was nothing Jeonghan wanted more than to fuck you senseless right now. He’d been holding himself back for a week. Just the sounds of your moans and the way he had to hold you down just to get you to stop squirming had his cock straining against his pants. The only reason he bothered with foreplay was so you’d take him without a fuss (and because he liked it when you begged him not to stop).

Your head fell back onto Jeonghan’s shoulder at the addition of a second finger, your eyes screwed shut and your mouth hanging open while you panted and whined. “F-Feels s’ good, sir. Missed this so much. Missed you so much.”

“Missed you too, baby,” Jeonghan mumbled, curling his fingers up inside of you to hit that spot that had your head spinning. You’re shaking and sweating and you can’t think straight, the feeling of Jeonghan’s fingers caressing your insides forces any other thoughts out of your head. Just when you think you can’t handle anything else, Jeonghan suddenly pinches your swollen clit, the sensation making you tighten around his fingers as you scream. “Liked that, didn’t you?” He repeated the action, the corners of his lips tilting upwards when your body reacted the same way once again.

“Mmm, yeah, liked it so much, sir. Gonna c-cum, can I?” You forced your eyes open to look at him, the pleasing look on your face doing nothing but making him harder. If he didn’t need to fuck you so bad, he would’ve said no. Seeing as this wasn’t the case, Jeonghan nodded, despite wanting this to last just a little longer.

“Yeah, princess. Go ahead and cum for me.”

His permission was all you needed before you allowed yourself to fall apart on his fingers. You cry out his name over and over until you’re left breathless. Jeonghan continues to finger you until your high has passed, and once it has, he pulls his fingers out and holds them up to your mouth. “Open,” he says, and you allow your lips to part enough for him to stick them into your mouth.

The taste of yourself on your own tongue and the action itself has you groaning, and you close your lips around his fingers, sucking off every last drop of your release.

“Good girl, sucking my fingers like the whore you are. I almost forgot how much of a slut you are,” This time, Jeonghan groans at your actions, pulling his fingers away. When you finally opened your eyes again, he was already naked. Oh, naked Jeonghan, one of your favorite sights, by far. Leaning forward, you ghosted your hands over the base of his cock, which had the older man moaning. “Fuck, baby, so desperate for my cock aren’t you? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

You fell backwards onto the bed and gazed up into Jeonghan’s eyes, holding onto his arms tightly as the tip of his cock slipped into your aching pussy. It had been long—too long—that you had gone without the satisfying feeling of Jeonghan stretching you apart and filling you to the brim, you almost forgot how good it felt. Jeonghan felt the same, he had long craved the warmth of your insides, how wet you’d get for him so easily, how you so easily obeyed his every order.

He didn’t bother to start off slow, not when he had been waiting so long to finally have you like this. His pace was rough and unforgiving, each thrust seemed deeper than the last, but still you loved every second of it.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting his to be as close to you as he could possibly be. “Ah! Yes, right there, sir!” You cried, out as his cock abused your sweet spot, your eyes rolling back into your head.

“Feels so good, doesn’t it, princess? You like it when I fuck you like this? Hm? When I use this tight, cute little pussy of yours?”

You nodded, the words you had planned to say dying at the back of your throat and being replaced by sounds that were a combination of grunts and moans. With one of his hands, Jeonghan held onto your face, trying to get you to look at him. Your eyes were glassy and unfocused with lust, and Jeonghan grinned at your fucked-out state.

“Oh baby, if only you could see yourself,” He groaned. “So fucking pretty, you can’t even use your words. All you can do is moan like the little cockslut you are, isn’t that right?” Just like he had done before, Jeonghan’s fingers pinched your clit, once again making you cry out with pleasure.

You tried to speak—to warn him of your imminent orgasm, but all you could squeak out were a chorus of high-pitched whines as the man above you pushed you closer to your release. He seemed to get the hint though, with the way your hole clenched around his cock, making it harder for him to move.

“Gonna cum, princess?” You squeaked again. “Aw, I know, baby. Poor sweet thing, can’t even tell me yourself. You don’t need to ask me, since I’m sure you would’ve cum anyway. But go ahead, cum.” His tone was so mean and condescending, and that was exactly that tone that made you cum for a second time.

Not even a moment after you had cum, Jeonghan was following you over the edge, pushing his cum deeper into your pulsating core all while your spent body shuddered beneath him. He shushed you, stroking your hair to get you to become calm and quiet once more before snapping his hips forward again.

“S-sir! I’m still…” Jeonghan shushed you again, never letting up with the fast pace he had set earlier on. His hips snapped against yours, the sound of skin against skin being one of the only sounds in the room aside from your pornographic moans and the occasional groans or rare grunt from Jeonghan. You were so out of it, you couldn’t even stop the words that came flying out of your mouth. “D-Daddy, please…”

You don’t think you’ve ever heard Jeonghan moan so loud.

“It’s alright baby, Daddy’s got you.”

The two of you continued for what felt like hours. Several different positions, a dozen more orgasms, one very long bath, and a two-hour long nap later, you could finally feel your body again. You blinked, looking around the room when Jeonghan opened the door.

“You’re awake,” his smile was gentle. “Do you need anything?”

You shook your head. “No, that’s alright, thank you.”

Jeonghan made his way to the bed and knelt down in front of you. “I didn’t hurt you, did I, baby?” The concern was written all over his face, the idea of you being in any sort of pain or discomfort would absolutely break his heart. Now you were the one smiling.

“No, never. If that were the case I would’ve told you, sir,” you tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear, letting your hand linger on the side of his face. “I think I’m in love with you.” You confessed quietly, almost as if you were afraid to admit it.

“You’re really gonna act all shy after everything we’ve done today?” He teased you, resting his head on your thighs. “Don’t worry, princess. I love you too.”

Don’t worry princess, I love you too.

You could’ve died right then. Jeonghan’s cheek on your thigh, his breath tickling your skin, reciprocating his love for you. Nothing could be better. Just you, Jeonghan, and—

“Hellooooo? [Y/n]? Dad? I’m home.”

Iseul.

“Iseullllll!” You shouted. Jeonghan pulled himself away despite his reluctance to part from you and stood himself up right as Iseul walked into the room.

She gasped. “Dad? You’re here too? Did I miss something?”

“Nothing at all, Seulie.” Jeonghan assured his daughter, his hand on her back as he walked her out of the room. “Did you find everything you were looking for? Nothing happened to the car, right?”

“I drive fine, what do you mean? You’re mean, you know that? [Y/n] never complains about my driving.”

He spared you one last glance, and your heart skipped a beat. It was just like the last time. Except this time, you loved Jeonghan, and he loved you back.

And that was the only thing you could ever want for Christmas.

[spectres-n-soap]

All The Things I've Said PT2 - Ghost x Reader x Soap

Content Warnings - Ghosts past, tragic backstory™️, pregnancy, implied protective Ghost

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N - 2/7 done.

Ghost has found that the times when you are gone from the flat while attending therapy is suffocating. He normally does not mind being alone or the silence that comes with it but after spending the last weeks with you, he finds that he hates it.

He tries to keep busy now instead of sitting around like a dog left at home while the owner goes shopping. Which is what he did the first few times you told him that you would text him when the session was over. He had wandered from the couch, to the dining room chairs and back to the couch so many times in just a few hours that he was sure he was going mad.

It wasn’t until the fourth day of this that something had clicked and he started this routine. You were heavily pregnant now and after the reveal that you’d likely have to get a c-section, he had picked up more chores around the house. He cleans the dishes, takes out the trash, makes your bed and does the laundry. He buys food for the house and keeps everything stocked. Ghost looks at the little sage green onesie in his hands and wonders if the baby will even fit. He saw the size of them, they were going to be a big and fat baby.

Ghost folds the onesie with a skill that had made his hands shake when he first did it. Joseph had been a very fat and happy baby. All smiles and giggles, only crying when hungry or having soiled his nappy. He had big blue eyes that Ghost can still recall with clarity but not without it being soiled with the memory of how those eyes looked when he was dead. Maybe that's why he couldn’t visit Johnny before he was cremated. His and Joseph’s eyes were so similar. He didn’t want the memory of two sets of blue eyes glazed over with the gray of death.

Ghost rubs the soft fabric of the beige pants that went with the white shirt he had just folded. It was soft, non irritating for a baby’s soft and delicate skin. His mind is drawn back to the past, back to when Beth had just finished her own baby shower and there were so many gifts.

Despite Ghost’s family being rather small, Beth’s was not. It had been refreshing and a little overwhelming to have so many people over. But his mum had enjoyed it, she had made so much food that despite the twenty people in that house there were still leftovers.

Beth rested her head against Tommy’s shoulder, tired from all the fuss and talking while Simon gathered up the trash. “You okay love?” Tommy asked softly and cupped Beth’s cheek. Beth smiled up at Simon’s brother and nodded.

“Jus’ tired. That’s all.” Beth yawned and Tommy smiled before he suggested she take a nap while he and Simon cleaned up. Beth didn’t need any convincing and with their mum’s help, waddled up the stairs to their bedroom. Simon kept putting things into the trash bag as Tommy gathered up the collection of blue onesies and outfits. Simon had never imagined Tommy being a father.

He had never envisioned either of them being fathers because of the shit job their father had done. And yet, here was Tommy. Married to a wonderfully kind woman with a baby on the way, clean from drugs and their father left to die from whatever cancers ate away at his body. Good fuckin’ riddiance thought Simon.

“You’re gonna be a good father.” Simon said, not exactly sure where that came from. Tommy smiled at him, brown eyes mirrored each other.

“And you’re gonna be a good uncle.” Tommy said as he folded up another blue onesie. “You’re already a good brother.” Simon shook his head but didn’t argue. He had told the military to fuck off, that he was going on leave to fix up the mess that was his family. He didn’t know how much longer he would be able to stay on hardship leave. Hopefully long enough to see baby Joseph.

“I’m doing what I’m meant to do.” Simon said with a shrug as he stuffed one last pile of ripped apart wrapping paper. “I came back for my family.”

“Thank you Simon.” Tommy placed a hand on Simon’s shoulder. “For making me get better.”

Simon shrugged off his hand, “I only threw the rope, you’re the one who had to climb.”

Ghost rewashes the baby bottles, not interested in the baby drinking from unwashed bottles. He watches the droplets slowly drip from the bottle as he sets them on the drying rack, he swallows as the memories claw up from the depths. He wishes they were happy still and not fucked up with blood and a type of grief that didn’t let go.

He looked down at the baby in his arms. All swaddled in a soft blue blanket with a blue boonie on his head. Baby Joseph. His face was still wrinkled and his eyes were shut, his mouth slightly open as he slept. There were feelings stirring deep within him that he had never felt before. There was this tiny life being held in his hands, hands that had killed and shot off guns that would surely ruin Joseph's hearing. And yet he was the only one holding him as Tommy doted on Beth after some skin to skin contact earlier.

Simon held his breath as Joseph blinked, his little blue eyes unfocused as he stared up at Simon. Joseph squinted and a small toothless smile appeared. “Hi Joseph.” Simon whispered as he looked down at his nephew and he felt tears appear in his eyes. “It's your uncle Simon.” Simon licked his dry lips as Joseph looked up at him, “I’ll protect you. I’ll protect your entire family. Promise.” Simon murmured, so quietly he almost didn’t hear himself say it.

Simon wipes at his eyes as the memory fades and leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He checks his phone just as your text message appears, “I’m ready to be picked up.” Simon wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans before he grabs his keys as he stuffs down the emotions those memories conjure. You are not Beth. Johnny was not Tommy. And he was not going to let anything happen to you or that baby.

[z0-ne]

Hi! It’s me again I was wondering if I could request another goku + younger sister reader but this time can it be but like them being siblings and them doing sibling stuff (Hc’s please 😚🫶)

HIIII! Yes! If you couldn't tell by now I love doing any platonic goku stuff its so cute and fun to think abt

GOKU AS Y0UR BIG BROTHER!

• Okay so just an FYI, you weren't raised by your big brother. Sorry, chi chi has enough stress with sayains as is, and not enough budget for three mouths again.

•Also, because you didn't hit your head when you landed, you werent exactly good.

•Not to say you were 'Abduct his child' type evil, probably because you're only four years older than Goten, but tou weren't good either. You blew up some stuff, injured people and tried to establish your dominance over the planet, gave Yamcha several heart attacks, and you had No idea who Vegeta was.

•So when they tried to get him to order you around that clearly backfired when his authority was tested by a sassy adolescent.

•"cease this absurd behavior! Your prince demands it!"

•It didn't help that he was wearing the pink shirt with some odd sandels. You looked him up and down before you scoffed.

•"Sorry princess, but I don't listen to stupid men in pink."

•Safe to say, you were a jerk, Goku knocked you out and Vegeta had to sit this fight out or he'd strangle a child.

•It took yall a while to get along, not because of trust issues from Raditz but because you were low-key evil too and you didn't like ANYONE at first.

•Hell it took a while to get you to stop being territorial or just flat out running away.

•Goku was the last person you bonded with, and that was because he kept having to drag you back home with your teeth latched into his arm.

•"Hey there- AH!" he cries out as you lunge at him and sink your teeth into his arm,, he swings his arm around hoping to detach you but its like you're locked on!

•"Ouch! Who just goes around biting people?!"

•Things changed a bit when you guys actually got along though. I guess the biting brought you closer??

•Goku doesn't visit that much, when it isn't involving training. I mean, the guy has work and trains with gods. He's very busy, but he makes time for you.

•Since you're close to gotens age but also a few years older, he likes to make time to pick you up from school to hang out with him and Goten for a bit.

•Its not like he just snatches you up out of school, he knows better, he's a father afterall, but after-school he's always excited to pick you and Goten up.

•"Hey! Ready to go?"

•However sometimes he forgets that he can't fly in public. Easy slip up, can you blame him though? It's as natural as walking!

°"Goku! You're flying!"

•"oh! Shoot!"

•Outings and shopping sprees are rare but he has experience with Chi Chi so he learned how to juggle the bags you throw to him while you go crazy in the mall.

•He doesn't mind it though because its a way to spend time with a non-deadly family member. Although he questions how deadly you are when it comes to a sale.

•"Hey! Thats on sale!"

°"But didn't that lady already cut infront to take it?"

•"That doesn't mean I'm gonna let her keep it!"

•Its like watching deers headbutt eachother. Then you just come back with the biggest grin holding up the shirt you wanted and adding it to the pile.

•When it comes to the food I pray for the people cooking..

•The two of you together have nearly been banned due to how much you eat, one restaurant offered to pay you two to just leave and stop ordering.

•You guys do play fight, at random times too.

•One minute you're getting along and they next, one of you is punching the other in the face.

•Goku bites. It's Canon, we see it all the time so don't think he won't chomp down just because yall are play fighting.

•it might also be payback for when you bit him...

[atinylittlepain]

Apothecary - Chapter Six

joel miller x witchy!reader

series masterlist

living in an aftermath, joel tries to hold her together as she falls apart.

warnings | 18+ smut, significant angst, canon-typical violence

wordcount: 4.3K (we were concise this week lol)

a/n | this is a rather insular chapter, and it happens to be one of my favorites so far. feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you think <3

p.s. if i had to offer one song for this chapter, it'd be magneto by nick cave and the bad seeds (yes, more nick cave, sue me)

.......................................

“Nothing?” “I don’t think she even touched the plate, old man.” Ellie huffs, setting the plate of what had been dinner down on the kitchen counter, the plate that Joel had placed in front of the closed guestroom door last night with a quiet plea for her to eat something. But judging by the untouched look of the food, his plea went unanswered. 

“Alright, kid, I’ll check on her. You better get to school.” Ellie nods, though she makes no move to leave, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she looks at him.

“Do you think she’s gonna, like, be ok?” Joel has to clear his throat before answering her, trying to make his voice sound as certain as he can.

“She’ll be ok, kid. It’s just a– a hard thing– what happened. But she’ll be ok, I’m gonna make sure of it.” Ellie offers him a faint smile, her brow still scrunched up in worry.

“We’ll make sure of it, right? I can help too, y’know.” He has to smile at that, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze as he nods.

“I know, kid. You’re right, we’ll make sure she’s ok. Now you better get to class before you’re late– again.” It’s just enough levity for her smile to broaden, her eyes to roll with a huff, and then Ellie’s out the door, and Joel’s shoulders slump immediately. 

When he goes upstairs, Stevie is laying in front of the guestroom, swiping her paw under the closed door in what could only be frustration. She and Stevie have been staying with them for a little over two weeks now. It hadn’t been soon after that day he found her in her shop that she showed up in the middle of the night at his front door, wide-eyed and disheveled. She hadn’t known where else to go after someone had thrown a rock into one of the windows of her house. And then, when he had walked her to her shop the next morning, he had been stunned speechless at the words smeared over the door in thick, black paint.

Witch

Slut

Baby killer

She hasn’t left his house since, and she’s barely left the guestroom he set her up in either.

“Darlin? I’m coming in, alright?” He doesn’t wait for a response, knowing now from prior experience that he’d just be waiting forever. Stevie darts in the second he cracks open the door, making a beeline for the bed where her mom is curled up under a swath of blankets, even though it’s the beginning of September and still plenty warm out.

He kneels down alongside the bed, right next to where her face is half smushed into her pillow, her eyes cracking open to peer at him. Faded dark circles face him, and his heart catches at the sight. 

“Hey, darlin. Think we oughta get some food in you, huh?” She lets out a long sigh, blinking hard a few times.

“Not right now, Joel. I’m just– really tired.” That’s become her new favorite phrase, and it scares him more than when she had been endlessly crying. It’s always said on a breathy exhale, like she’s trying to be casual about the fact that she’s been in bed for days, and seems to have no plans of getting out anytime soon. Any emotion is masked behind her flat voice and vacant eyes, and he’d give just about anything for a glimmer of something. Anger, sadness, he’d even take fear right now, just any proof that she’s still there. But there’s nothing, just her owlish stare, and Stevie nuzzling up against the blankets.

“Alright, not right now. Will you drink some water, at least? For me, please?” You’d think that he just asked her to run a marathon with the exhausted huff she lets out, shifting slowly to sit up with her back against the headboard, her head lolling onto her shoulder to look at him. It’s such a far cry from the woman he’s gotten used to, all slow movements and barely-there words as he offers her the glass of water he brought up for her. She takes two little sips then slumps down, handing him back the glass and scrunching her eyes shut.

“Baby, I-I’m really tired– I just need to lay down for a while.” He can feel his frustration rising, but he swallows it down, taking her hand in his and squeezing lightly. She doesn’t squeeze back.

“Ok, darlin, I know you are. Gotta get to work, but you know where I’ll be, right?” All he gets from her is a nod as she lays back down, curling in on her side. 

“Think you might get cleaned up today? Bet a shower would feel good.” Another long sigh.

“I just got a shower yesterday.”

“That– that was Monday, darlin, remember? It’s Friday now.” That’s new, and it makes fear kick up in his chest, cold and frantic. She, however, isn’t phased by it, simply shrugging her shoulders beneath the blankets. Stevie stumbles over the blankets up towards her head, nuzzling up against the back of her neck. It’s a small comfort to him, knowing that she isn’t completely alone during the day, just enough reassurance for him to murmur a soft “I’ll be back soon, honey” and get up with a sigh. He takes one more look at her before closing the door behind him, no acknowledgement from her save for another deep sigh.

Things around town have gotten tense, to say the least. Word spread fast about what happened to Maura’s baby, and while it was clear that no one was to blame, just a horrible stroke of luck, it was a whole lot easier to blame the witch for what happened. Now, as Joel walks to the stables everyday, people openly stare at him, murmuring just loud enough for him to hear about how he’s “harboring the murderer.” The only thing that keeps him from knocking their lights out is knowing that it’d only make things worse for her.

People are being particularly vocal this morning, but he gets no relief when he gets to the stables either, seeing Mason and Matthew, Maura’s husband, are getting ready to saddle up for patrol.

“Don’t know why Maria’s letting her walk around free. Oughta be a trial for what she did.” Mason scoffs at Matthew’s words.

“You know why, that’s practically her sister-in-law, that’s why.” Mason’s eyes narrow into slits as Joel approaches them, Matthew’s face reflecting a similar sneer.

“You boys better watch what you say. Especially when it ain’t based in any reality.” 

“What do you know about reality, Miller? She’s got you so turned around I bet you believe just about anything she tells you.” Joel can feel anger rising like bile in his throat as he looks at the men, and he keeps his hands on his hips to stop himself from doing something he’ll regret.

“You saying you two are talking about reality? Some fucking story about her, what? Hexing a baby?” He focuses his attention on Matthew before continuing.

“Son, I’m sorry for your loss. I really am. But trying to blame someone for this– this horrible misfortune– it ain’t gonna make that pain go away.” Matthew lets out a bitter laugh at Joel’s words, his eyes flashing wild as he takes a few halting steps toward him.

“I’m not trying to do anything, Miller. I know she did it.” Joel would like to punch him in the teeth, but instead he scoffs at the man, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Let’s just say for a minute that I’m living in the same delusional world that you are. How are you so sure that she did it, huh?” Matthew’s face stretches into a grin that doesn’t meet his bloodshot eyes at that.

“I know she did it– she did it to get back at me.” That makes Joel pause, and Matthew catches it, his grin splitting wider.

“She was jealous, you see. When I wouldn’t leave Maura for her, she got real upset. I guess she’s used to getting what she wants, but I’m a faithful man, and I wouldn’t look twice at that slu–” Joel doesn’t let him finish that sentence, grabbing him by his shoulders and driving him backward until his back slams against the wall of the stables.

“See, now I know you’re full of shit because she’s with me. She’s been with me all fucking summer, so I find your little story pretty hard to believe.”

“Not all the time.” Joel squints at him, keeping him pinned against the wall.

“Come again?”

“She wasn’t with you all the time, not during all her little house visits. Lemme tell you, Maura wasn’t the only one she was checking on.” He does it before he can think, his fist making contact squarely with Matthew’s jaw, the man groaning and doubling over, though Joel is quick to haul him up by his shirt collar.

“Listen to me, you keep my woman’s name out of your mouth. Do you understand me?” Matthew gives him no answer, his eyes squinting slits as Joel shoves him back against the wall. As he turns to leave, his eyes catch Mason’s, the man grinning as he watches the whole thing. The look makes Joel’s stomach twist, and it’s all he can do to walk away from the pair.

He doesn’t care that he’ll miss his shift. He needs to talk to her. Now.

Any patience, any gentleness, any carefulness has dissolved in his need to speak to her, and it clearly catches her by surprise when he comes barreling into her room, giving her shoulder a brusque squeeze that has her wide eyes looking up at him.

“Wha– I thought you were going to work.”

“We need to talk.”

“Joel, I’m really–”

“Tired. I know, but you can’t– I can’t– I need you to talk to me. I know that you’re hurting, but I need you here with me, or else I can’t, I can’t do anything to help.” She sits up at that, brow furrowed.

“What’re you talking about?” He sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed, glancing at Stevie who has curled up on the pillow next to her.

“There’s– talk, around town.”

“Uh, yeah, I��m aware.”

“That isn’t what I meant– I mean– Matthew, Maura’s husband– he’s saying that you–” She cuts him off with a bitter laugh. “No.” 

“You don’t know what I was going to say.”

“It’s always the same– they’re always the same– he’s telling people I tried to fuck him, isn’t he?” The blunt crassness of her words coupled with her still blank eyes is unnerving to him. Even now, her voice is flat, no emotion to be found in her cool assessment of him.

“Not in so many words. He said that you had reason to want to– get back at him.” 

“And you believe him? You believe that I’d be capable of something like that?”

“I don’t, and I’ll fight this, whatever this is. But I need you here fighting with me. I can’t do this without you– and I can’t keep watching you– disappear right in front of me.” Silence, a heavy pall of it falls between them as she continues to stare at him, her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

“Maybe they’re right.” It comes out so hoarse, he almost thinks he didn’t hear her right.

“What?” 

“Maybe it is my fault, somehow. Maybe I-I– somehow– I– it’s my fault, my fault, all my fault–” Before she can dissolve any further, he takes her face in his hands, holding her steady.

“Don’t go there, darlin. I know you don’t really believe that. Remember what you told me? About when you held her?” Her eyes widen at that, and he feels something like hope lift off in his chest when she nods.

“She was– she was so small, Joel. And it wasn’t right, it was too early– and I knew it.” “And you did everything you could, right?” Another nod, her eyes narrowing into something like focus.

“I-I did. I did. But, it just happened. It was too early, and– and I don’t think anyone could’ve done anything to change it.”

“That’s right. It just happened. Ain’t anyone’s fault. Don’t let them get into your head, darlin. You and I know the truth, and Ellie, and Tommy, and Maria, and– Stevie.” The cat, who had been dozing on her pillow, lifts her head at that, letting out a questioning mrrp. It isn’t much, but her lips twitch into what could become a smile, eventually. He’ll take it.

“I think I’d like to get a shower now.”

…

He could shout from the palpable relief he feels seeing her at the kitchen table, hair still damp from her shower, eating a plate of leftovers. It’s clear to him that she’s still not all there, still quiet, eyes endlessly downturned, movements slow and small. But she’s clean, she’s eating, and she’s even talking a little, and whatever has changed, Joel’s just glad that it did. He sits in the chair next to her, resisting the urge to stay as close to her as he can, afraid that she might float away if he doesn’t, but worried she’ll shut back down if he does. She sets her fork down and sits back in her chair, tilting her head to look at him, worry a perpetual crease between her brows.

“Could you come with me to the shop? I’d like to get a few of my things.” He nods, trying to keep his voice even when he responds, though inside he feels nothing but elation at her question.

“Of course, darlin. You just tell me when, and we’ll go.” 

“Could we– could we go now?” 

Though it caught him off guard, he scrambled to get them out the door before she changed her mind. He reckons it’s more for him than it is for her, the tight hold he keeps on her hand as they walk through town. For her part, she keeps her chin tilted down, eyes on each of her steps as they pass through the stream of stares and whispers. But she comes to a stuttering stop in front of the apothecary door, and Joel can’t help but smile.

“Dina and Ellie– they cleaned up the– mess. But it wouldn’t come all the way off, so they gave it a new coat of paint.” What once had been a plain white door is now painted a deep green, though it’s beyond Joel how Ellie managed to find that color. For a moment, she’s completely still, considering the door before her. And then, she squeezes his hand, and he knows that these tears of hers are different, no despair to be found.

“I’ll have to thank them for this.” 

Ellie has also been going to the shop in the afternoons everyday, taking care of the plants in her absence, another thing that seems to surprise her when she enters the shop, what could be a smile threatening a quiver in her lips. But he swears that the green goes a bit greener, leaves stretching out and lifting as she walks amongst them, reverential fingers checking here and there. She collects a few bottles and tins, a few books, tucking them into her bag, before checking what she explains with a quiet murmur is soap, curing on the counter of the back room. There’s no ease about this for her, he can tell in her skittish movements, her eyes glancing around like she’s waiting for something to happen, and she’s ready to leave in a flash. He hates it, that the space in which he had first met her, the space in which she had always been so at peace, now conjures this kind of fear in her. 

They return home as quick as they left, and he can see just how much it took out of her, the heavy slump to her shoulders, the unfocused haze falling back over her eyes as she sits down on the couch in the living room, her bag still slung over one shoulder. She lets him take the bag from her, setting it down on the floor. He moves tentatively, letting out a quiet sigh when she lets him pull her into his side on the couch, his arm wrapping around her tight. 

Wordlessly, she leans back in his hold, and he’s stunned into stillness when she tilts her chin up and brushes her lips against his. 

“Thank you, Joel. For everything, for dealing with me through all this.” 

“I’m not dealing with you. I’m taking care of you, you don’t have to thank me for that.” She presses another kiss to his lips, though he stops her when she tries to deepen it, holding her by her shoulders.

“I don’t– don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”

“Please, Joel– I just wanna feel something else for a little while. Just wanna feel you.” She presses a smattering of kisses to what skin she can get to beneath the collar of his shirt, and he sighs, already feeling himself dissolving under her touch. He knows this is probably a terrible idea, that whatever is going on in her head can’t possibly be good, but he also knows that whatever peace he can give her, he will in a heartbeat.

“Hey, hey, easy, darlin. Let’s go upstairs, alright? Lemme take care of you properly.” She lets him lead her upstairs, into his bedroom. She lets him lay her back on his bed, gentle and sweet as he undresses her. And she lets him take over when her trembling fingers fumble at the buttons of his shirt, shucking off his clothes as quickly as he can to keep contact with her. 

There are no words for this, the way their hands move over each other’s bodies, getting reacquainted with bare skin they had each mapped so well. He settles between the plush of her thighs, pressing a kiss into the soft skin before finally tasting her. She’s an endless tide of sighs, writhing above him as he works her over with his tongue. Her pleasure is his privilege, and he collects every whimper, every scrunch of her brow, every tensed muscle, tokens of what he can do for his woman. He can’t help the way his hips rut into the mattress beneath him, chasing whatever sensation he can find as he takes in the sight of her, the feel of her beneath his mouth. When she comes, it’s an unraveling, a slow tumble that he holds her steady through, his arms wrapped around her hips to hold her up to his mouth as he coaxes her through her pleasure. The first word to leave her lips as she comes down is his name, a breathless plea to come closer that he answers in kind, crawling up the bed to hover over her, their lips catching in a desperate tangle. 

Broken groans resound from both of them when he presses his hips forward, a dizzy prickle skittering up his spine as he settles into the heat of her. He lets his lips drag wherever he can, over her collarbone, the arc of her neck, her jaw, giving her a moment, waiting for her word.

“I’m not going to break, Joel.” The tone of her voice, certain and steeled, makes him lean back to catch her gaze.

“I know that, darlin. I know you aren’t.” 

“Then don’t treat me like I’m fragile. I want you to fuck me.” Truthfully, he has been treating her as if at any moment she could shatter. But the way that she’s looking at him, the steady heat of her gaze, the tick of her jaw, the way her nails are grazing up and down his back makes him feel like she’s coming back to him, and something inside him snaps at the thought.

He gives her what she wants, a push and pull that has them both sighing with each press of his hips into hers. He wants to leave marks, to stamp something permanent of him into her, and with the harsh grind of his hips, the desperate graze of his teeth along her chest, he thinks he’ll be successful in his desires, drawing whimpers out of her with the force he fucks her with.

Neither of them are making much sense, words slurred into skin, frantic coaxing to see each over the edge. 

That’s it, darlin.

S’good, huh?

It’s all yours, honey. Go on, take it. 

When she comes again, it’s with a shattered yelp of his name, her fingers pressing little moons into his shoulder blades as she crashes around him. She’s a fucking vision beneath him, tears streaking silver down her cheeks, her face a twist of pleasure, sobs that sing sweet for a change, and it’s enough to send him spiraling after her. He only realizes he’s crying when he sees his own tears smudged against her sternum, his forehead pressed against her collarbone as he catches his breath.

He goes to get up and grab something to clean her up with, but she doesn’t let him get far, pulling him back down by his shoulders and holding him against her. 

“Can we just stay like this for a little while, please?” The sigh he lets out at her question melts him even further into her, his arms wrapping her up and pulling her into a closer tangle. They’re a mess, sweat-damp skin sticking slick and his spend dripping onto the sheets beneath them, but he reckons he needs this as much as she does, burying his face in the junction of her neck and inhaling her deeply. 

She relaxes in his arms, muscles going slack against his, her fingers trailing shapes across his shoulder blades. He feels like for the first time in ages, he’s got her, he’s really got her.

…

Ellie won’t stop staring at her. The kid had stopped dead in her tracks when she got home and saw her and Joel in the kitchen, quietly fixing dinner. Joel had quickly shook his head at her, a silent plea to not make a big deal out of it. But if there’s one thing Ellie is not, it’s subtle, and she’s been staring at her for most of the meal like she might disappear if she takes her eyes away from her. If it’s bothering her, however, she doesn’t show it, still a bit hazy around the edges as they eat, leaving Joel to muster up whatever conversation he can, which is to say that most of the meal is spent in slightly tense silence while Ellie continues to stare at her, much to his chagrin. 

“I want to thank you, Ellie. I got to see today how you’ve been taking care of the shop. I really appreciate it and– just, thank you, kid.” Ellie’s eyes widen at her words, before softening with an emphatic nod.

“Yeah– I mean, of course. You, like, taught me well, and stuff. And I want you to know, if anyone else tries to mess with you, I will personally fuck them up–”

“Ellie.” 

“What? I’m just saying, geez.” Ellie lets out a huff at Joel, while he’s about ready to give her another lecture about her language, though his annoyance dissolves when his woman lets out a light laugh at the girl’s exclamation.

“Thanks, kid, but I don’t want you fucking anyone up for me. That’s not gonna be necessary, alright?” Ellie gives her a sheepish smile at that, a light moment that relieves whatever tightness had been in the air. But just as soon as they all seem to slump back into ease, the sound of someone knocking on the front door echoes through the house.

Joel excuses himself, a wordless plea for her and Ellie to stay put. He’s admittedly surprised to see that it’s Maria standing on his porch, a steely look on her face and her hands on her hips.

“We have a problem.”

“That son of a bitch started it.”

“I don’t care who started it, Joel. I’m gonna finish it, all of it. I’ve called a town meeting for tomorrow night. This can’t keep going on. It’s— people are asking me questions that I can’t answer. And I know Mason is getting people more worked up the longer this goes on.”

“Maria, she’s— she’s not ready for this.”

“She’s gonna have to be. I’m worried, Joel. The longer we let people talk, the more out of hand this’ll get and— I wouldn’t put it past some of those men to—try something.” He feels a cool prickle shoot up the back of his neck at Maria’s words, his mind going back to the night of the dance, the way Mason had grabbed her, and he knows that Maria is right, that something needs to be done now before it escalates. 

“There are people on her side too, Joel. It’s just– there’s so much talk going around that everyone’s too afraid to say anything otherwise. If we can hear her side, I know people will come forward. But if she stays holed up like this, people are just gonna keep talking.” 

“You’re right, Maria.” He hadn’t been expecting it, the sound of her voice startling him as he turns to look at her padding up behind him. She places a firm palm between his shoulder blades, a presence, a confirmation.

��Just tell me what time tomorrow, and I’ll be there.”

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taglist: @boofy1998 @misspascaliverse @jasminedragoon @beskarandblasters @daddy-din @subconsciouscollapse @avidreader73 @pedgeitopascal @littlelou22 @wannab-urs @hannahlupinblack @whoiscaroline @leeeesahhh @str84pedro @mumma-moonchild @disregardedplant @mxtokko @igloo71 @secretdazeobservation @eddie-munson-dungeon-master @cressida-clearwood @mydailyhyperfixations @mingeniee @the-ginger-hedge-witch @delicious-collection @gab-thelamb-onthemoon @thereaperisabitch @lunxramour @jupiter-sky @parrotpeggy @abbiesxox @nerdreader @ssa-raye @vermillionwinter @jksprincess10 @jordycat-2018

[danikamariewrites]

Hi there!!!

Can i please request a fic with cassian where the reader suprises him by telling him she is pregnant for his birthday?

Surprise

Cassian x reader

A/n: he would be so excited to be a dad and just to reaffirm he absolutely is a girl dad

Warnings: none

“Congratulations y/n. You’re pregnant.” Madja’s words had been echoing in your mind for nearly two weeks now. The hard part was keeping the good news a secret from your family. You were waiting until Cassian’s birthday to surprise him with a cute baby gift. You knew if your family got wind of your pregnancy it wouldn’t stay secret for long and your plan would be ruined.

You had been so picky when it came to finding the perfect baby outfit when you went in town. The harder part was making sure no one saw you baby shopping. You were most concerned about Mor, that girl can shop like there’s no tomorrow. Every time you had been out you ran into her or saw her but always kept your distance.

As of today you wouldn’t have to keep your secret anymore. Cassian would be home any minute from his morning training session and everything was perfect. His favorite breakfast was sitting on the table along with the gift bag that had a card, the baby outfit, and a toy sword.

You smiled to yourself, running a hand over your still flat belly. There would be a bump in a few weeks and you already couldn’t wait to bring your child into the world. You and Cassian had dreamed of having a family since before you were married. You didn’t expect it to happen anytime soon since Fae pregnancies were so rare. The fact that you’d been married for over a decade and were already pregnant was crazy to you.

The front door opens and shuts. You hear Cassian unstrap his sword, dropping it in the umbrella stand by the door. He rushes into the kitchen once he scents the food you’ve laid out for him. Cassian’s face lights up as soon as he sees you with your arms open, ready to embrace him.

“Happy Birthday Cass!” He scoops you up in his arms and spins you around, burying his face in your neck leaving quick kisses. “Thank you baby, it smells delicious.” You sit and eat with him as he eyes the gift bag the whole meal. You can tell he wants to open it so bad, the curiosity of what’s inside killing him.

Sliding the sparkly bag across the table you give him a small smile. “Go ahead Cass, open it.” “Yes!” Cassian grabs the bag excitedly, tearing the card open first. His smile turns into a confused one as he reads the message out loud, “I can’t wait to meet you. Happy birthday.” He looks at you tilting his head. You motion for him to keep going.

First, he pulls out the wooden toy sword that looked more like a butter knife in his hands. He turns it over in his palm still confused. Then he pulls out the red onesie that reads, ‘Daddy’s little warrior’. It all clicks for him. Letting out an excited yelp he looks back and forth between you and the onesie. He’s stuttering, trying to get all the words out that he wants to say.

“You-you’re, you’re pregnant! For real! Like, we-a baby? We’re gonna have a baby!” You nod excitedly as tears well in your eyes. Cassian kneels in front of you, clutching the onesie, as he pushes his face into your belly. Taking in your scent he leans back to stare into your eyes. “I can’t believe I didn’t catch the change. How long have you known?”

“Madja told me two weeks ago. I wanted to surprise you.” He lets out a wet laugh, wiping his tears. “Wow. This is amazing. You’re amazing.” You lean down and kiss his forehead. “I can’t wait Cass.” “I can’t either. And I’m calling it now, she’s a girl.”

tags: @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane @aroseinvelaris @twsssmlmaa

[tvgals]

‘THE OTHER WOMAN…WILL ALWAYS CRY HERSELF TO SLEEP.’

synopsis- what happens when the other woman is eren’s girlfriend?

cw- black reader, eren is an actual asshole (only to his poor girlfriend), eren is a sucker for his golden girl, eren’s girlfriend actually has a name, modern au

- taglist ! <3 @pnkfae @lovereren @xocreedvo @pixiechixks @sugarvenomlit @vib3zwithtutu @supernovss @pinkfryday @radicaledward55 @chickenalfredo1312 @skit-brentfaiyaz @yoncewife @lovelyyceleste @bimbokutos @slut444eren @sanrioglocks @chxriee @cafesho @percsane @itmightbejo @maxi8898 @saintsyx @lovelyybrii @laylasbunbunny

jeal·ous

/ˈjeləs/

feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship.

eren walks into his shared apartment an hour and some change after he said he would arrive home. his girlfriend presumably in their bedroom. “home.” he weakly says, as if he doesn’t want to be known or bothered. his girlfriend basically runs out the bedroom and hugs eren, almost toppling over. “get off of me.”

“hey rinnie! where were you? i was waiting for you all day!” belle giggles, her brown curls swaying with each movement. belle was eren’s girlfriend. was. before she found out the news of course. “don’t call me that. and i was out shopping with y/n.” eren says mundanely, kicking off his slides and pulling his sweats up. “but you let y/n call you that all the time…why can’t i?” belle asks, her doe eyes looking up into eren’s cold green ones. “you’re not y/n, are you?” eren asks, a smug grin on his face. “i’m gonna go take a shower.” with that, eren walks past belle without a second thought and slams the bathroom door shut.

eren sighs, taking his bun out of the hair tie he borrowed from you and took his hoodie off, revealing the kiss marks on his neck. he grabs his phone and hits your contact.

‘miss ya baby. needa see you again.’

eren sits and waits for a response, turning the shower water on in the meantime. it doesn’t matter how much he runs since belle pays the water bill.

‘miss you too rinnie :(( i’m off tmrw come over then?’

‘bet.’

eren smiles to himself, he doesn’t care he’s cheating, frankly, he doesn’t care about the woman he’s cheating on either. sure, he loved her for a few months in their relationship, but when he saw how much you’d changed in your freshman year of college, he snapped. “eren? can i come in?” the muffled voice of belle rings from the other side of the door.

“what is it.” eren groans, taking off his sweats and boxers in one swift movement. belle opens the door and pokes her head in, eyes growing wide at eren’s naked body. “i just…was wondering if you had ate yet? and if you wanted something to eat..” she grins, walking fully into the bathroom, her midnight blue lingerie hugging her body. “mmm….” eren hums, he almost pities her. the fact she thinks he would ever have sex with her. the fact that she thinks he would enjoy it. but hey, there’s a first time for everything.

“cmere baby.” he coaxed her over, trying his hardest to imagine it was his golden girl y/n. belle struts over to eren, biting her lip seductively. eren grabs her by her hips and kisses her, her lipstick tasting bitter on his lips. a stark contrast to your fruity lip gloss flavors. his hands roam, trying to find a comfortable spot. he tried resting them on her ass, not feeling the same as yours. he then tried her waist, then her thighs, but whatever he did, he just couldn’t get it right. belle pulls way from the kiss, saliva connecting their lips like a bridge. her eyes scan eren’s face. while observing his gold stud earring, she notices them. the dark red lipstick stains on his neck.

“eren..where’d you get those from?” she asks, pulling away from him. “what?” eren knows exactly what she’s talking about. “the..the marks on your neck.” she stutters, arms falling flat to her sides. “huh? you put those there. remember?” he asks, walking towards the shower. “no i didn’t..we haven’t had sex in like…three months!” belle says, crossing her arms while watching eren’s silhouette in the shower. “that doesn’t mean we don’t make out.” eren says blankly. he hears the pitter patter of her steps, stopping near his phone. she starts talking, but this time obviously louder.

“are you gonna watch the oscars with me tonight?” she asks, typing the password into eren’s phone. it worked. why is it on do not disturb? “ehhh maybe. told y/n i’d watch it with her so maybe not. might just call her.” he sighs. searching for his shampoo. “yeah?” eren knows exactly what she’s doing. “yeah. also, i’d rather not have you go through my messages. what you’ll see is gonna hurt your feelings.” he warns, although he already heard belle’s sniffling. “why is y/n’s contact still in your phone?” i thought i told you to delete it?” belle says, tears welling in her big brown eyes.

“you did, i just didn’t want to.” he confesses, turning around so he’s facing the wall opposite to the shower head. “why don’t you ever listen to me? is this why you’ve been coming home so late? because of y/n?” belle asks, sitting on the toilet lid. “sometimes, yeah. not like we’re doin’ anything though. jus’ shopping and shit like that.” eren shrugs, eyes practically glued shut to prevent the water and shampoo from getting into his eyes.

“shopping? eren, you never go shopping with me!” belle whines, throwing eren’s phone back on the counter. “yeah because you never go anywhere that i wanna go. y/n is genuinely interested in the things i am.” he says, turning off the water and stepping out the shower, drying his hair before wrapping the towel around his waist. “so why are you with me huh? because i’m pretty? because you think i have a nice body? is that it? are you just using me?” belle accuses, now she’s standing up and searching for her bath robe.

“no. you’re nice to have around.” eren admits, walking into their shared bedroom. belle trudges behind him, continuing the conversation. “oh. okay…well..we can atleast sleep together tonight? instead of you falling asleep on the phone with y/n on the couch?” belle asks, laying on her side of the bed, the cold sheets raising goosebumps on her pale skin. “sure. if it makes you feel better.” eren pulls a hoodie out of the dresser and a pair of sweats. eren then turns the light off and rolls into bed with belle.

“goodnight eren. i love you.” belle whispers. “night.”

eren wakes up the next morning, eyes crusted over and watery. he looks to his right to see belle, facing away from him. thank god. eren searches blindly for his phone, sighing when i finally gets ahold of it. pressing the screen, the time read; 12:56 eren knows you’d be up by now so he texts you.

‘good morning pretty’

‘eren what the fuck is wrong with you?’

his hands freeze. what did he do this time?

‘what? what happened??’

‘don’t come back bro. omm you know wtf you were doing.’

eren was filled with confusion. what did he do? what happened? could he make this better? why was his golden girl being so rude? so, eren calls you. rinnggg…ringggg…rinnggg.. you finally pick up, the top of your forehead and your pink bonnet only being visible. “what the fuck do you want bro.” you growl, you voice sounding full and stuffy. you’ve been crying. “what are you talking about? i ain’t do nothing.” eren defends, now sitting up in the bed. “bro you know what the fuck you did. what normal fucking woman eats apples and ketchup, huh?!” and with that, you hung up and threw your phone across the room. you curl up against yourself in your bed, tears welling in your eyes once again.

“apples and ketchup?..” eren whispers to himself. eren sighs and flops backwards onto his bed, emerald eyes staring up at the ceiling. what was he to do? his golden girl wants nothing to do with him now, and he’s stuck with a woman who’s infatuated with him. “dammit.” eren whispers, rubbing his eyes in drowsiness and stress. eren looks over, belle’s now flipped to where she’s now facing eren. he’s never genuinely looked at her face before..all of her end of winter freckles, her eyelashes and bushy eyebrows, her pinks lips in a somewhat pout. belle was pretty..really pretty..almost model type pretty- enough to be on the covers of the gas station magazines. “y’ so pretty…” eren mumbles, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. eren would be a damn fool not the make the most of her while you’re mad at him. eren hops out of bed and looks back to his phone — just to see if there was a text from you — and he walked to the bathroom, sighing. he grabs his toothbrush and slides the drawer out, picking up the toothpaste. when the toothpaste was in his hand, the empty spot revealed a polaroid of you and him in a photo booth. technically, the apartment was eren’s and belle ended up joining him, the two of them splitting up bills. this means all of his previous belongings and pictures from you and him he’s had to put away by the pleads of belle. he just wishes he knows what he did.

“eren?” belle calls out from the bedroom. “yeah?” “y/n is calling you.” eren almost runs to the bedroom, picking his phone up and answering it, just before the last ring sounded. “eren.” you sniffle. “what’s wrong? what happened?” eren questioned, his brows furrowed.

“i’m pregnant. and i know it’s yours.” you mumble into the phone. “what? well what do you want me to do?” eren says, looking over to belle. “i want you to come over and help me fix this shit. or i swear to god i will tell belle everything.” you threaten. “alright alright. give me ten minutes and i’ll be over.” eren promises, now walking to the front of the apartment. belle can’t help but flop back onto the bed. she’d just woken up and now her boyfriend was leaving her…again. she just couldn’t stand the relationship you two had with one another. you were just so pretty. you and eren had been friend since before eren even knew belle, this entire situation felt…suspicious? was that the right word? belle heard the door shut and sits up in the bed, searching for her own phone. meanwhile eren was just getting in his car, still on the phone with you,

“why the fuck would you do this shit eren? are you trying to spite me? trying to do this to get back at me in some way?” you shout over the phone. eren can’t help but feel awful. you’re HIS golden girl, he loves YOU — and he’s never wanted you to feel any other way. “i’m pulling up right now. unlock the door.” eren warns, hanging up the phone. he pulls into your driveway and climbs out the car, pushing his phone into his pocket. eren can see you leaning onto the doorframe — you biting your lip.

“hey sweets.” eren greets, stepping into your neatly decorated home. “eren…please. i cannot do this alone. i’ve told you so-…” you cut yourself off, pulling eren by his wrist to come inside, him kicking the door shut. the two of you make it to your room and sit on your bed, hand in hand.

“eren…” “hm..”

“why did you do this? to me?” you ask, biting your lower lip expecting the worst. “i didn’t mean to. honestly.” eren replied, pulling you closer into a hug. you can feel the tears well in your eyes. again.

“you know i’ve always wanted a family, how i wanted someone to live with forever. you have a girlfriend, a really nice one, and i don’t know if you genuinely love her or not, but if you do you need to tell me. if i have this baby in the next eight months and you’re not here to support me or the baby, you’ll never hear from me again.” you swore, biting your tongue waiting for a response.

“i don’t know what to say. i love you so so much y/n, i really do. i want this with you, i want you…just…give me a few days, okay? i need to tell belle..” he whispers into your damp - tear soaked bonnet. “please hurry.”

an: not finished, just wanted to get this out before i forgot about it forever, thank you for the support on this and if this flops i’m deleting it 🤞

[a-killer-obsession]

Wavelengths [Killer x Reader, Heat x Reader]

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.

CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.

Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1

Chapter 4 - Welcome Party

You get wasted and cause bodily harm.

WC: ~4k

The henchmen had already set up your furniture by the time you got back to the ship, and you stood in the doorway with Heat admiring it, before entirely fucking the room up with shopping bags on every surface. The two of you were exhausted so you both plopped down on the bed, already made courtesy of a cabin boy, laying horizontally across it with your legs hanging off the side, feet still on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

“Thanks for your help Heat,” you said, turning to your side and curling up against him, he was so damn warm, it was like cuddling a seven foot tall hot water bottle. “Fuck I hope I never have to do that again though”

Heat happily wrapped an arm around you, Mission: Girlfriend was thus far proving successful in his mind. “Any time doll,” he smiled, “we probably have time for a quick nap before dinner if you want, it'll probably be later than usual since Kid and Killer aren't back from their errands yet.”

“Mmm,” you hummed, rubbing your head against his chest to get comfy, so warm… “good idea”

“If you're gonna nap on me at least let me lay flat,” he laughed, making you grumble when he pushed you off so he could kick off his shoes and climb on to the bed properly. Given the opportunity to rearrange, you removed the seastone from your jacket pocket, before also kicking off your shoes and throwing your jacket on the pile of shopping bags. You removed your mask carefully, placing it on the side table, before climbing back on the bed to curl up against him again, totally comfortable and happy to nap with him. You found Heat easy to be around, and after spending the entire day together you weren't quite ready for him to leave yet, it was nice to have a friend after such a long time being alone. Hell, even just being near someone who wasn't actively trying to hurt or traumatize you was incredible. You draped a leg over his while he wrapped an arm under your head and around your shoulders, and you both quickly fell asleep, entirely spent from the shopping marathon. Your body was aching but the warmth from Heat soothed them, lulling you into a deeper sleep.

It was close to dinner time, the bonfire was stacked tall and ready to be lit, barrels of liquor had been purchased and arranged on the beach along with multiple felled logs for sitting on, but the guest of honor was nowhere to be seen. Kid was starting to get impatient, and turned to Killer, who was sitting on one of the logs, flicking through a new cookbook he'd just purchased. His observation haki was far better than Kid's, so instead of wasting his time searching the ship it would be easier to just ask. Killer was well aware of Kid's agitation by now and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why he was annoyed, so he'd already gone to the trouble of using his haki to find you, and was just waiting for Kid to crack and ask.

Kid approached him, and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Killer, who didn't even look up from his book. “She's in her room,” he told Kid, “having a nap with Heat. I presume. Either that or they're fucking, they've been together in there for a few hours now”

“That dog,” Kid smiled knowlingly, “quick to jump on her, huh? Guess I'll go interrupt the lovebirds, I'm not waiting any longer to get the party going. Oi, you,” he pointed at henchman who was throwing more wood on to the stack near the makeshift fire pit, ready to replenish the fire later on, “get the fire going”

The henchman gave a quick “aye aye” and Kid stomped off to the ship, the gang plank bowing slightly under his massive weight. He made his way to your room, which used to be a storage closet, and opened the door without knocking - this was his ship, he could go wherever the fuck he wanted. And also because it would have been funny as hell to catch the two of you in the middle of fucking.

He was surprised (and a little disappointed) to find that you and Heat were in fact just sleeping, lying fully clothed on top of the bedding, your body wrapped around his, your faces squished together. He was also surprised to see you weren't wearing your mask, but did note your tightly closed fist on Heat's chest, coming to the assumption that you must have found a piece of seastone. Killer had of course passed along all the information he'd gotten from you, so he knew you couldn't be without either your mask or seastone without going insane. He paused for a moment to check out what you'd bought, quietly snooping through a few of the bags near him on the floor and smirking when he found one full of lacey panties. He could barely see the floor or furniture under the massive piles of shopping bags, but he could see the ornate purple-heart headboards of the bed and admired the craftsmanship for a moment.

It didn't take him long to grow bored though and he shuffled his way through the shopping bags to stand at the side of the bed, leaning as close to your and Heat's faces as he could without losing his balance and falling on top of you both.

“UP AND AT EM PUSSIES,” he yelled directly in your faces.

You both woke with a startle, and you went straight to fight or flight mode, letting go off the seastone and grabbing Kid's thick neck while your heart threatened to burst directly out of your chest with how fast it was beating. You weren't strong enough to squeeze it, and your hand was nowhere near big enough to wrap around it, so instinctively you sent pulses of electricity through the muscles to contract, making them act like he was having a severe allergic reaction and closing off his airway. Your eyes were cold, the spooky grey-pink looking up at him, unblinking, as you stared right into his amber eyes, not at all recognising him in your panic. He tried to punch you in the stomach to get you to stop, but you sensed the movement in the air and covered your abdomen in a thick protective layer of armament haki.

Heat, who was used to being woken like this, clawed at your back to pull you off of Kid, genuinely concerned that you were about to kill the captain in your blind panic. You barely registered him, entirely blacked out by your violent panic attack.

“Yin stop, it's just Kid,” he begged, yanking your arms, unable to pry you off, “you're safe, its okay, stop it Yin, he's not going to hurt you”

Kid was turning blue, unable to connect a punch, when you finally came back to reality and let him go. He wheezed and held his aching neck with his flesh hand as you scrambled backwards over Heat's legs, hiding behind him and burying your face in his back.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry-” you were pleading like you were about to be beaten for disobedience, even though you were no doubt the most powerful person in the room. It was a common response for you, beaten into you over almost two decades of abuse. It didn't matter how strong you were, in the face of authority you would always feel small. Even with your face pressed against Heat to block any light, the sounds were quickly becoming overwhelming and you started to twitch. Heat grabbed the seastone you'd abandoned on the blankets in your panic and pressed it against your bare arm, settling your devil fruit. You were already deep into a panic attack, hyperventilating as you pressed against Heat for support, clinging to his warmth like it was a lifeboat.

“Fuck you're strong,” Kid wheezed with a strained throat. He should have been mad, but it was kind of his own fault for spooking you, and he was more impressed right now that you'd almost killed a man as big as him with your bare hands. “I won't sneak up on you again, I just wanted to come get you for dinner, the bonfire is ready”

Heat forced the seastone into your hand and wrapped his arms around you, rocking you gently and rubbing soothing circles on your back to calm you. You blinked at him in confusion before you finally came back to the present and got your shit together, finally getting your erratic breathing under control. You were flush with embarrassment at your overreaction and confused that you weren't being punished.

“Ah, sorry,” you mumbled, prying Heat's arms off, “I'll be out soon”

“Take your time,” Kid replied, turning to leave, still rubbing his sore neck, “don't ever do that shit to me again though. This is your warning, next time I'll throw you overboard”

“Sorry Captain,” you mumbled as he left.

You let out a deep sigh as the door closed, sitting on the edge of the bed with your head in your hands. Heat was sitting up in the bed, and rubbed your back soothingly. “Don't beat yourself up about it,” he told you, “everyone here goes fight over flight, only pussies go flight mode, you'll get use to the rude wake up calls eventually”

“I almost killed him..” you whispered.

“Yeah well, you didn't,” he stated, “everyone here has at least taken a swing at the captain, he probably respects you more for it. Don't worry about it, just get dressed and we can go get drunk and forget about this”

“Yeah, okay..” you mumbled, starting to search through the bags for the outfit you'd picked out for tonight.

“It's your big night, just focus on having a good time,” he told you as he stood, giving you a reassuring slap on the back, “I'll see you out there”

You replied with a half-hearted hum and he left, closing the door behind him.

Half an hour later you finally emerged on the beach, it had taken longer than you thought it would to tame your hair, which had grown significantly since the last time you'd styled it. Your go to hairstyle was a pair of messy space buns, and you used a pair of old crappy medical scissors you'd found under the bathroom sink to hastily chop straight bangs. Nobody else would even see them under your mask but you liked having them cut like that anyway. You'd also slapped on a quick layer of a mauve lipstick with a gloss over the top, nothing crazy but it helped add volume to your small lips. Being that they were the only part of your face that was visible under the mask, it was nice to add a little pizzazz to them for the special occasion.

Most of the clothes the shop attendant had picked out for you were pastel hues, colours that worked well with your lavender hair, white headset, and the yellow and teal jacket you couldn't be separated from. You would stick out like a sore tooth among the Kid Pirates but you didn't give a shit - the bright, cheerful colours made you happy, and Heat had reassured you that as long as you were happy, everyone else could stick their opinions up their ass. You also took a quick shower before styling your hair, shaving your legs as quickly as you could and brushing your teeth like you were possessed by a dentist.

You'd chosen a baby pink bodycon dress for the party, which went down to your midthigh, over a set of matching magenta lingerie, sliding your jacket on top. To finish it off you wore a set of tall wedge heels with thick white straps. It took you a few minutes of fumbling in your room to get the hang of walking in them, but you were a quick learner, and could always vibrate the air around you a little to steady yourself if you had to. The outfit put your legs on full display, leading up to a plump ass assisted by the posture the heels gave you, a heaven send for your usually flat rear. Not much could be done for your chest though, even a push up bra wouldn't help you till you filled out a little.

You feigned confidence as you made your way down the gangplank and over to the crew, noting the way they all eyed you hungrily, which you supposed was what you intended when you decided on such a short dress. It was after all your night to shine, why not show off your assets and soak up being the center of attention? Kid made a low whistle as you approached.

“Damn, who would have thought there'd be a hot body under Killer's baggy ass shirts or that marine uniform?” he purred. He clicked his fingers towards a henchman, who immediately came running over with a beer for you. “Drink up scrawny bitch, it's not a proper welcome party unless you end the night puking in the bushes, so you better get started”

“Aye aye Captain!” You lifted the bottle to your mouth and immediately chugged the entire thing. The commanders around you all cheered and Heat handed you a glass of whiskey, taking your empty bottle from you.

“Before you get too drunk though,” Kid clicked his fingers and a cabin boy came running over with your old marine uniform, “if you're gonna be a pirate, you gotta uphold our traditions”

You happily handed your glass back to Heat so you could take hold of the old uniform. It stunk from year's worth of sweat and the navy pants were still stained with blood, ‘god, is that what I smelt like?’. You wore a bright smile as you took the clothes and thanked the scared looking cabin boy, before turning to the fire.

“Rest in shit, you stank ass uniform!” You yelled before throwing the clothes into the fire. The pirates cheered and Kid smacked you on the back encouragingly. Heat handed you back the glass of whiskey, and oh so smoothly wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You didn't protest, you were in such a good mood watching your old life burn and his arm was a reminder that you weren't alone anymore. You lent in to him, resting your head on his shoulder and sipping your drink as the old uniform disappeared in the flames.

A thought occurred to you though. You weren't entirely free yet, one thing still bound you to your past. You gently pushed Heat's arm away, and held out your glass for him to take. He took it with a raised eyebrow and watched you remove your jacket, leaving it carefully on a nearby log. You needed one more thing though, since you'd left both of your weapons on the ship.

“Hey Captain?” you asked sweetly, eyeing the strap that hung across his chest, holding his pistol and several daggers, “could I borrow a knife?”

He looked at you quizzically but unhooked a blade for you anyway, holding it out for you to take. You took the handle and walked to the fireside, kneeling next to it and holding the blade in the flames. The commanders watched you with amusement, entirely confused as to why you needed a heated knife. When the blade was red hot you removed it from the flames, inspecting it carefully as you stood to face the commanders.

“To freedom!” you shouted, before pressing the hot blade to the marines tattoo on your forearm. There was a small series of surprised gasps as you pressed the red-hot blade to your skin, and the smell of burning flesh as it sizzled. Killer and Heat both rushed for you as you groaned and your stance faulted, the knife and your whiskey glass falling to the sand as Heat caught you before you could entirely collapse from the shock of the pain. Your skin continued to make small sizzling sounds as the blade was pulled away, small blisters forming over the dark red wound.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Heat shouted. He dragged you away from the fire to sit in the sand, leaning your back against one of the logs. The smell of singed skin tickled his nose and Mohawk was quick to rush to your side, inspecting the wound carefully, doctor mode fully engaged. To be fair, it wouldn't be a Kid Pirate party without someone getting hurt.

“A little warning next time? Fucking hell,” he grumbled, pulling gently at the surrounding skin to inspect the wound closely, before looking over your face to check your condition. You were heavily lidded, and somewhat out of it, but wore a dazed smile regardless. He stood to address Kid, who was surprised but impressed by the display. “It'll heal fine if she keeps it clean, she's just in shock right now but she'll be fine in a bit when the adrenaline wears off. I'd give her painkillers but booze will work fine for tonight. It's gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow though”

“Fucking hell Yin,” Heat mumbled, sitting behind you on the log and steadying your body between his legs, lifting your injured arm and resting it on his knee, “what happened to getting a tattoo?”

“Sorry,” you giggled, “didn't feel like waiting that long”

Kid collected his now cooled blade from the sand and slid it back into the holster. “That was hardcore,” he laughed, “you're a fucking laugh, woman”

“That was irresponsible,” Killer mumbled under his mask, returning to his previous spot sitting on a log.

“Ah don't be a vibe killer, Killer,” you smiled, sticking your tongue out at the massacre soldier, “don't act like that wasn't the coolest shit you've ever seen a chick do.” He rolled his eyes under the mask and openly ignored you, but to be fair, you weren't wrong.

Mohawk, who had disappeared to the ship, returned with a med bag and dressed the wound while Heat held your arm up for him. The burn was making you a little dizzy, so you leaned your head against Heat's other leg, practically nuzzling against it. He had to be careful to not sit too close to you, or you might feel the erection forming from your innocent rubbing against his thigh.

—

Once the dizziness passed, Mohawk gave you permission to start drinking again, and it didn't take long for you to get completely trashed. At some point you and Heat swapped places, with Heat now sitting on the sand between your legs while you braided his thick, blue hair.

“Your hair is so pretty, Heat, such a pretty colour for a pretty boy,” you giggled. Kid groaned, you'd been like this for hours. Apparently you were an affectionate drunk. “Aw Kiddie, are you jealous baby? Your hair is pretty too! So many pretty boys. Killer are you pretty too under there? I bet you're pretty. Everyone on this crew is pretty”

“Stop calling my men pretty!” Kid growled, “We're fearsome pirates, not dolls”

“Boo,” you pouted, “it's not my fault you're all pretty. Killer let me braid your hair next!”

“Absolutely not,” he deadpanned, inserting the straw of his drink through the holes of his mask to take another swig.

“But it's my party!” You whined, “you gotta be nice to me!”

“I'm already being nice by not dunking you in the water,” he grumbled, “you bring that touchy feely shit over here and I'm stuffing you in a potato sack, filling it with cannonballs and throwing you overboard”

“Yesh, mister grumpymask,” you flopped another finished braid over Heat's shoulder so it laid against his chest, “lighten up would you? Chill out Mr. Massacre”

“Killer has never been chill a day in his life,” Kid laughed, “oi Heat, speaking of chill, light one up would you?”

“Aye aye Captain,” Heat laughed, giving a mock salute, reaching into the pocket of his baggy pants and pulling out a small zipper pouch. From it he retrieved a lighter and a couple of pre-rolled joints, lighting one and handing it to Kid, before lighting his own. You wrinkled your nose at the unfamiliar smell.

“What is that?” You asked curiously. Heat and Kid laughed in response at your innocence. Heat shuffled around on the ground, turning so he was sitting perpendicular to you, his back against one of your legs. He held the joint up for you to see.

“You've never smoked weed?” He asked curiously.

“Oh, that's what that is?” You replied, “I heard a few people mention it at some marine parties but I've never actually seen it, or smelt it. The marines took drug screening pretty seriously”. You took the joint he was holding out for you and inspected it carefully.

“Deep inhale, hold it for a second then let it out. Do it soft or you'll choke on the smoke” Heat instructed. This certainly wasn't his first time introducing someone to his favourite plant.

You brought the joint to your mouth hesitantly and did as you were told, but you must have inhaled too harshly because you couldn't help but cough a few times. Your head spun from the hit and you giggled. “That feels weird,” you took another inhale, without coughing this time, and handed it back to Heat as you exhaled the stream of dank smoke.

“You don't know the half of it,” he laughed, “wait till it really hits”

“Fuck, if she's affectionate when she's drunk, what's you gonna be like high?” Kid roared, “Bet you a hundred berri she gets naked”

“I'm not sticking around for that,” Killer grumbled as he stood, “I'm going to bed”

“Awww, lame!” you moaned, “grandpa!”

“I'm going to drown you,” he said, pushing you off the log as he walked past. You stayed where you'd landed on your back, your legs draped over the log, giggling like a crazy woman.

“Killer! Your ass looks really good from this angle!” You called after him as he left.

“My ass always looks good,” he said under his breath. You were the only one who heard him, and laughed maniacally, almost kicking poor Heat in the process.

As it turned out, you were a sleepy stoner, and Heat ended up having to carry you to bed after you fell asleep leaning against him, a half finished braid still in your hand. The party continued long into the night till the beach was covered with drunk, sleeping pirates and the fire died out.

[NEXT CHAPTER]

[clairecrive]

Hi

I wanted to request a bane x reader fanfic where bane don't wear a mask and he come come across a girl avery young one at that and they have such strong chemistry and then they fall for each other of course bane is reductant at first but then he abandoned his job as a mercenary to be with her and spend time with her.they go shopping they go to beach they like to devour each other they simply can't get enough. Thanks alot

"Guy for That"| Bane x reader

A/N: hello, hello! I know it's been a while, but I hope this will count as tagging, and you'll find yourself back to this. This kind of picks up in the middle of things but the context is what you asked for <3 It is also inspired by "Guy for That" by Post Malone. Hence the name lol. Enjoy ✨

(okay but how cute is he in this gif omg??)

I'm pretty good at breakin' down a heart But pickin' up the pieces is the hard part She's searchin' for someone who's gonna build it back But I ain't got a guy for that

Before meeting Bane, y/n had never believed in that portrayal of love where the two were inseparable and never had enough of the other. She had always loved her me time and, so far, had never been with someone that made her want to spend all of her time with them.

However, when a certain beefy bald man came into her life, she finally understood.

It almost embarrassed her to admit but she always wanted more. More time together, more of his attention, more of his care, more of their conversations, more of their quiet moments, more of his hands on her, more of them laying in bed talking about everything and nothing.

Just more of him.

The only thing that appeased her embarrassment was that Bane seemed on the same wavelength. He always came back for more. She needn't ask for it.

It had been the most magical months of her life.

It hadn't been with its challenges, though. Living with a mercenary wasn't exactly a piece of cake. But they had handled everything together.

So when Bane came home one night and asked her to sit because they needed to "talk", she knew it was just another hurdle they had to cross.

Never would she have imagined, though, that his reason was... ridiculous. Simply put, it was absolute nonsense and y/n wouldn't stand for it.

"Unbelievable," y/n scoffed.

"What?" Bane's temper was rising as well. Gesturing vaguely to himself, "Did you think I'd be your prince charming?"

"You know I don't give a flying fuck about princes and princesses, Bane!" She said, her voice raising at the absurd implication.

"You're a fucking mercenary, for fuck's sake. Do you take me for a fool?"

"If you think of me as someone who could put your heart back together, then yes. You might as well be one."

Despite being filtered by his mask, Bane's voice had the uncanny ability to portray every shade of emotion. So, y/n knew when it was flat and monotone, like in this instance, it was on purpose.

"You know what, Bane?" she chose to be the bigger person and ignore his insult. "I'm not having this conversation with you. Either you have a valid reason for wanting to break up or I refuse, okay? You cannot break up with me."

"Being concerned for your safety and questioning the future of this relationship is a valid reason to have this conversation." He quipped.

"Using your line of work is a useless argument because I already know, don't I? Knew it from the beginning actually."

"Should I question your sanity as well then?"

"Why is it a problem all of the sudden when this," she said pointing to them, "has been going on for a while?"

The question was rather rethoric but when she saw that Bane was about to reply, she knew he wouldn't let this go soon. So, raising a hand, she stopped him, "I don't think it's about you being a mercenary at all."

"I think things are getting real, and you're getting scared," she said softly despite the frustration she was feeling. It was a sore spot for both of them, letting go and trusting the other. But y/n knew that for Bane it was even harder given his past.

She knew that was exactly the point, and Bane's silence confirmed it. Sighing, she took his hands in hers. Hands that had inflicted an immense amount of pain but that could also been so gentle and caring when it came to her. Those hands that she loved feeling caressing her skin, whether it was during aftercare or in those lovely, quiet moments they shared.

"Look, babe, I know it's scary, okay? Fuck, I'd even say terrifying. But I want you to know I'm not going down without a fight."

Bane's piercing eyes were unblinking on hers. It felt like he was staring into her soul. And y/n was hellbent on proving that her word was true. Bane had been such a solid presence in her life these past few months. Now, she was ready to return the favour. He could lean on her for stability. No matter his impressive size, she wouldn't crumble.

"Let's just go to bed, okay? We can sleep on it and talk about it tomorrow."

"I've got some work to do."

"Okay then, I'll be here when you get back." Y/n stood up and left the room after leaving a kiss on his temple.

Whether it was true or not, y/n would leave him alone for tonight. She had said her piece, and if he needed time to process it, then so be it.

She would be here when he returned, and she was not going down without a fight.

[dentiststoothfairy]

Slides in *) may I have a chubby reader and them H E A D C A N O N S (blinks with eye lashes*)

Ty 😊

Art I made lmao

𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐨'𝐬 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝 & 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Bro they don't give a single fuck.

Gonna be honest. They really don't.

If you're vibing with them? They'll vibe with you. Doesn't matter if you're pretty, ugly, larger, smaller, taller, shorter, thick or flat.

Nene thinks you're gorgeous anyways. You know she does because she makes a big deal about not hanging around ugly people.

"Like Pico?"

"Oh my Lord, exactly! Like Pico!"

She takes you shopping and then throws an ABSOLUTE fit if or when they don't carry the CUTEST outfit in your size.

That has to be some sort of CRIME.

Darnell is probably the most apathetic about it. He knows what it's like to be treated differently for something you can't change. And personally, he'd rather someone not make a large deal out of it... So he doesn't make a big deal out of you either.

Although, when someone has the audacity to like.. Comment on it? He calls them tf out. He makes a big deal then. He gets absolute pleasure of making assholes squirm with uncomfortable tension after being pointed out.

He's got your back. Honestly? He is probably the most reliable out of the group. He shuts Nene up real fast when she says something insensitive by the slip of the tongue.

Pico? God don't let anyone make one comment around you two.

He DON'T let that shit slide.

He's probably fallen asleep on you after a long day. He hasn't got any shame that one, I'm not gonna lie. You're way more comfortable to lean on than Darnell or Nene.

Nene mocks him and tells him that he better not collapse into your chest the way he collapsed into hers that one time. He still fucking hates that. It's embarrassing. He WOULD RATHER DIE.

"I'm back!"

"Oh, welcome home." You answered cointly. Your chest heavy with burden as you pulled your nervous eyes away from your reflection, subconsciously pulling down at your pants as you did so to hide the shame.

Your blue haired lover gave an energetic laugh as he moved lightly on the soles of his feet, bouncing to the couch as he took his hat out to fan himself. His stupid smile always brought comfort, you fought a smile yourself.

"Busy day?" You hummed, his eyes was still twinkling from energy from being outside. He nodded as his mouth opened to talk more.

"Oh hell yeah. Another rap battle, it was absolutely fire. You should've heard me!"

Ah.. You... Hadn't been willing to leave the apartment for a while... Embarrassment of like... Existing. But, that meant you missed out on so many fun things with your quite frankly, extroverted boyfriend.

His rising and falling chest and heart beating in sync, you could feel his internal music constantly bumping as he climbed onto you while you sat down, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck as you quickly grabbed his hand. You knew what he was trying to do, trying to run his fingers through your tight curls and you knew it would only end badly.

"I bet... You would've sounded great." You gave a bitter smile, glancing down subtly at your legs as your hand clutched his hand tighter. Your lover, usually pretty clueless, seemed to pick up on the cues.

".. Is something wrong, babe?" He asked, his tone shifted slightly as he looked up at you, his excitement washed away like a wave swallowing a crab into the large ocean.

Now look what you've done...

"No, no. I'm fine! I was just thinking about what we were going to have for dinner tonight. Maybe something with low fat?" You offered, throwing the option into the air hoping that the usual air head wouldn't catch on.

Unlucky for you, he did.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Is this about your legs again?" He let go of you, as he sat up. The silence hung in the air like a string hung off a cork board. You never liked lying to him but, how else could you improve the situation..?

He gave a sigh, laying his head on your shoulder as he snaked an arm around your waist, trying to pull you as closely as he could to you. "... You know I think you're stunning, I don't.. Understand how you can't see that." He muttered.

"Because-.." Your voice caught onto the tissue in your throat as if a hook was dragging across it. You couldn't untangle the line that was suffocating you. Both metaphorical, and the verbal line you were about to say.

And, god bless... Your boyfriend as if a miracle worker, knew exactly what to do. He pulled you in, connecting your lips quickly.

"You're adorable. There's nothing cuter than you." He mumbled, giving you a crooked smile. "The fact you think other wise is insulting. You're like.. The fuckin' cutest thing ever. Like, you're so soft. And I know people who say that come off as if they're reaching for compliments but honestly? I wouldn't change you for the way you are." He shrugged.

Your eyes scavenged his for any sort of lie. That he was trying to make you feel better with absolutely no true empathy behind his words. But you came up empty handed.

"Like, do you know how hard it is for me to like.. Not show you off? I just wanna walk down the street and go 'look suckers! This is my mutha' fuckin' partner! You can't even imagine landing someone so hot!'" He raised his voice, cupping his mouth to make himself even louder. You gave a nervous laugh.

"Please don't do that..." Please, don't.

He gave a cheeky wink to you, sticking his cheek out as he did. "I said it's hard for me not to do, not that I would. I know how you get with attention, baby and I'm gonna do my best to make sure you're content in your own skin because I love you." He brought your knuckle to his lips, giving you a kiss and feigning a knight.

"Whether you're black, white, fuckin'... Green or thin."

Green?

You couldn't help but laugh at that. Taking your dumb ass boyfriend by the jaw and kissing him once again.

"You're so stupid."

"I know." He hummed back, content. "Now what's for dinner for real? I'm starving."

[sabraeal]

Brewed With Intent, Part 3

[Read on AO3]

“You’re sure that you feel all right?” Shidan stoops— not far, but enough— to stare Obi right in the eyes, mouth furrowed deep into its concern corners. It’s habit to brace, to wait for her inevitable sympathetic flinch when that otherworldly something drives them back—

But it never comes. Shidan holds his gaze— a second, then two, then suddenly half a minute’s passed without a single shudder— and asks, “No itching or…hm…burning?”

Pencil-thin brows hike right up to his hairline, rumpling the scar that cuts across beneath it, both nothing and everything like Shirayuki had imagined. “Are those symptoms I should be worrying about, Doc?”

“Not a doctor,” Shidan reminds him absently, “and no.”

“What?” Obi sputters out. “Then why would you ask—?”

“The last time someone tried to cast something on you, you turned into a human bonfire.” Shidan levels a stare at him so flat she could skip rocks across it. “Taking some measure of caution seems prudent.”

It’s riveting to watch his mouth work, to see all the muscles twisting together to shape words that never quite manage to be more than a dissatisfied grunt. “Well, not a human one.”

The glare Shidan gives him could hang pictures. “Why don’t you go take a breather here in the back? Just in case. Last thing I need is a customer to spontaneously combust on East Broadway.”

“Please, I’m civilized, I’d make it to at least Belmont.”

“I still think it’ll be some frog action.” Yuzuri bumps the stock room door open with her hip, a box of vacuum-sealed herb packets teetering in her arms. “Or maybe a small mammal. I don’t know what your biology would do with something cold-blooded.”

“Best not to find out.” Suzu turns too-earnest eyes to him. “I think you’d make a handsome stoat.”

Obi presses a hand to his chest, shirt rumpling enough to bare even more bronze beneath, and ah, two buttons have never seemed so indecent. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“Hey!” A cardboard corner lodges under his sternum in protest. “I called you hot!”

“Yeah, but that’s just facts.” Obi’s palm shoves against one flat side, angling her back toward the aisles. “Suzu’s showing some imagination. A little faith, if you will.”

“Really? You’re gonna lecture me about moralism? A de—?”

“How long should do you think we should wait?” Shirayuki asks, if only to give her an excuse to do something besides letting her eyes trace the length of his cheekbones another dozen times. “I was hoping to do some of my rounds today if, er…”

It would be insensitive to say, if Obi doesn’t explode on them. Though it’s certainly not as career limiting for him as it would be for, say, either her or Ryuu, the whole business with Haki had still come as a bit of a blow. Even now his hair hasn’t fully grown back in, just a thick forest of black bristle he complains is at the whim of his pillow, even though Shirayuki’s half sure she’s never seen him use one.

Shirayuki casts a curious glance at the hand he runs through it, ignoring the itching of her own palms. Whatever he's doing, it’s clearly working for him.

“Can’t say for sure.” Shidan scratches at his goatee, giving Obi a squint for good measure, almost as if he could see the inner workings of the charm over him, like a clock maker inspects gears on a timepiece. “Fifteen minutes?

“Oh, like one of those vaccines things, right?” Obi doesn’t sit so much as free fall into the bean bag chair in Shidan’s office, long legs stretched across the carpet. “Miss made me wait with her once.”

Yuzuri huffs as she heads toward the shop, one ear flicking. “It’s bullshit that you can’t get sick. Totally unfair. Proof that the universe has its fucking favorites, to be honest.”

“Don’t blame me.” He hooks his hands behind his head, eyes at half-mast, positively lounging. She catches herself mid-star, her eyes nearly raking across ever leather and denim clad inch. And especially the few inches with neither. “Blame— what’s it you guys call it? Speciation? Different biology.”

“Well, some of it has to be the same,” Suzu muses, chin in hand. “You know, for, uh” —he stutters under Obi’s sudden glare— “reasons.”

Shirayuki blinks. “Re—?”

“All right, I think we’ve done more than enough agitation testing,” Shidan grunts, getting to his feet. “Let’s let the guy catch his breath. Give him some space.”

“To combust? If he’s going to do that, a few feet won’t really—”

“Suzu!” Yuzuri stamps her foot just outside the office, ears pulled so low they practically disappear into her hair. “You can’t just say someone is going to explode.”

“Why?” He blinks, craning his neck down to stare. “It’s not like it’ll hurt him.”

“Still. It’s rude!” The graphic part of his tee crumples beneath her fist as she reaches out and tugs, yanking all six foot two of him right off his feet. “Now just get over here already. The last thing I need is you turning into a pile of ash and making more work for me.”

Shidan sighs, running a hand through his already tousled thatch of hair. “Well, that’s the peanut gallery. Shirayuki…?”

“I’ll stay.” It’s supposed to sound supportive, stalwart, but with the heat that licks up her neck, tickling at the apples of her cheeks, she doubts it makes the mark. “Just in case.”

“Your funer—” Shidan coughs, hand scraping over his stubble— “choice.”

“Don’t worry, doc,” Obi hums, head tilted back, skin stretched taut enough she can see his throat bob as he swallows. “This isn’t Miss’s first rodeo. She can handle anything my biology can throw at her.”

Shidan hums, unconvinced. “Right, well, there is a fire extinguisher under the counter. If you need it.”

“I don’t think we will, that sort of reaction tends to be, er…instantaneous.” Shirayuki angles her most grateful smile up at him. “Thank you though. Not just for the, er, information. But everything.”

His shoulders hike up by his ears, as allergic to gratitude as every other master practitioner she’s met. At least he isn’t trying to rush her out the door the way Lata did every time he caught a whiff of sincerity on her. “Don’t mention it.”

It’s hardly a long walk from his desk to the door, but it’s enough steps to see how he’s favoring one side, like Grandpa did whenever the weather got too wet out. “I could brew you something for that, if you wanted.”

His hand hooks on the jamb, holding him steady as he turns a furrowed brow toward her. “For what?”

“Your limp.”

It’s astounding how quickly the red rockets up his neck, not even taking a pause at his cheeks, just barreling up from his collar until it crashes against his hairline. “N-no!” He coughs again, hand scrubbing over his face. “I mean— it’s nothing. Works itself out in time. Just…worry about yourselves.”

It’s in her nature to gently insist, to wheedle curmudgeons around to a show of kindness, but she barely has time to take in a breath before the door slams behind him. Hard enough that it rattles the walls, setting more than a few of his pictures askew.

“Well,” she hums, reaching over to fix one within arm’s reach. “That seems a little unnecessary.”

“Miss.”

There’s no reason for Obi's mouth to hitch like that, or for his arresting eyes to soften, overflowing with affection she can appreciate every ounce of now that instinct is no longer blaring alarm in her ears. And yet, here he is, too-sharp canines dinting his lower lip, shoulders practically shivering as he bites back his snickers. Poorly, she might add.

It doesn’t make the picture of it any less pretty. And it certainly doesn’t do anything to discourage her staring at him, that’s for sure.

“I don’t see what’s so funny,” she murmurs, her own cheeks flushed as she turns them away. “He’s injured! I was just trying to be helpful. That’s hardly a reason to get so flustered…”

“Miss.” The word practically squeaks out of him, laughter slipping out behind it. “How do you think he got that limp?”

“How would I…?”

It’s the pity that gets her, just the slightest sliver hidden behind the fondness in his eyes, the same kind Yuzuri gives her when she’s a little slow to understand something adult, and—

“Oh.” There'd been marks on Garrack’s neck, so fresh, only a handful purpled and even less yellowed. And a discount that she’d been so certain she earned them. “Oh.”

“There we go,” Obi hums, settling deeper into the bean bag. “Now you’ve got it.”

*

It’s only fifteen minutes— less time than it takes Ryuu to complete the sudoku in the paper, or Obi takes to make a sandwich— and yet every second of it is interminable, stretching by with all the speed of molasses down a bottle’s neck. No wonder Obi is always acting like he’s about to jump out of his skin at the library.

But this isn’t just an outright allergy to sitting stationary— no, Shirayuki has extenuating circumstances. The kind that make her wonder if that leather is as touchable as it looks.

“That bad, hm?”

Her eyes dart up, disrupted from the corners they’d been sneaking their surreptitious glances. His are still closed, head tilted back on his hands, like he’d be more at home with a hammock at his back than a bean bag, mojito within arm's reach. Only his smile’s strained, more teeth than teasing, braced for a blow. “Huh?”

“You know…” One large hand waggles over him, a sliver of gold peeking through his eyelashes. “The new look.”

Is it? That’s what she’d like to ask— if when he looks in the mirror, this is the face he sees, or whether Shidan’s charms have polished the edges off they way they’ve erased the extra eyelid. If this is just a human face plastered over a more eldritch one, more palatable to the small animal that is her brain, or what had been hiding beneath that miasma all along, waiting for a heart stout enough to be seen.

Instead she watches his eyelashes splay over the golden arch of his cheekbone and feels her mouth go inexplicably dry. “N-no! Yuzuri’s right. It’s, um…”

“Hot?” he offers, entirely too eager. Even rolls up to his side, one arm angled behind his head, like one of those pin-ups the Laxdo dorm boys had hurried to take down from the wall the last time she stopped by.

“Attractive,” she allows, ignoring the insufferable angle his smirk slants itself to. “You’ll certainly draw attention while we’re out.”

“Attractive.” He tests the word, savors it, and apparently likes the taste. “But am I attracting you, Miss?”

It’s mortifying how quickly her skin goes hot, a slight flush to lobster red in seconds. “Obi!”

“Kidding, kidding!” His hand fly up, but she’s in no mood to be placated, not when they tremble at the same frequency as his laugh. “All this being perceived— it’s going straight to my head.”

He deserves every ounce the scowl she gives him, gaining gravitas as it ramps over the forbidding fold of her arms. “Be that as it may, it’s still not very nice to tease! Especially when you’re not even interested in the answer.”

“I wonder.” There’s a strange set to his smile, like his mouth doesn’t quite fit on his face, like it belongs to a different man entirely— but it’s gone as quick as it arrived, disappearing behind what she’s quickly coming to realize is his usual grin. “So where to next, Miss? After the Doc gives me a clean bill of health, of course.”

There’s a plan, a list, but— but he stretches. Palms press flat to the wall behind him, exaggerating the arch of his back, and— and his shirt rolls up, baring the barest sliver of bronze right above his waistband. A dusting of dusky hair peeks above the brass button, trailing down to parts unknown, and her fingers itch, wanting to know it’s as silky as it looks, or— “I don’t know.”

He blinks, gold making his eyes all the more owlish. “You don’t know?”

“Ah, I mean…” She shakes her head, as if percussive force might knock her tongue loose of its tangle. “There’s a few places…that have put out requests, I mean! And I thought we might have, um…”

This isn’t working. Whatever this is— she’s got to get a hold of herself. With a steeling breath, she slaps her cheeks, hard enough to feel the sting.

Obi’s arches a narrow brow. “You okay there, Miss?”

“Yes, sure.” Barely. “There’s no requests for urgent consult, so I thought head toward the market first and maybe make out way n—”

“The market? You mean…” A groan really should looks so good “Don’t tell me, we’re going to the harbor.”

*

“What”— Kihal hooks her hands over her hips, thunderous as any squall over the Sound— “is that?”

Shirayuki blinks, tracing the finger she points right over her shoulder to where Obi lounges against the pier, jacket slung over his shoulder. It’s brisk this close to the water, but with the temperature Obi runs at, anything more than short sleeves is for aesthetic. Certainly no cause for alarm, but today—

Well, today she can see how the seam of his sleeve strains around his bicep, and the way his torso tapers right down to his waist, practically a triangle—

She swallows. “Obi’s trying out a charm Shidan made him.”

“Demon boy?” Kihal makes a disgruntled squeak back in her throat, half-threatening, half-cute, and all annoyed. “Oh, I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all.”

Shirayuki watches him unfurl from his lean, hips rolling as he saunters toward them, and can’t help but think, get in line.

[prismsofmystery]

Shopping Shenanigans, Part 1

The first ever official ScribbleSoccer content

its really long mb gang

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anatolii was sleeping peacefully one summer afternoon. Well, that was until he was ambushed by his two energetic ahh partners. They wouldn't let this man sleep for life, but to be fair, he never allowed himself to sleep either. "Wakey wakey." Spencer said with a wide goofy ahh grin. Anatolii pushed his face away with a groan. "Well good morning to you, too." Spencer said with a smile.

"Mmmm…..Yeah, yeah, I'll get dressed." Anatolii said in defeat as he walked out of the room and into the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came out, looking more awake than earlier. He made his way back into the room to get dressed as Rosebelle and Spencer waited for him in the living room, eating breakfast.

"Alright, I'm ready." Anatolii piped up, swinging the keys with his finger. He made his way down the stairs. "Wait, aren't you gonna at least eat something?" Rosebelle asked. Anatolii stopped for a moment. "Mm..I'm not hungry." Anatolii made his way out the door. Spencer and Rosebelle looked at each other with a sigh, pocketing a breakfast muffin or two in case he changed his mind.

By the time they got outside, Anatolii was already laying on the horn. "Hurry up and get in, kids." Spencer grumbled something before rolling his eyes. "We're coming, damn."

Once they got in the car, Anatolii pulled out of the driveway. Rosebelle usually preferred being in the backseat, so that's where she was. Spencer was up in the front with Anatolii. "Hey, chicken nugget, how about letting me drive every once in a while?"

"Absolutely not. I enjoy breathing." Spencer scoffed. "What's so wrong with my driving?" Anatolii abruptly stopped the car, causing Spencer to freeze, however, he found that it was because of a red light and not his question. "We ended up with a flat tire and had to spend all night getting it fixed."

Spencer chuckled nervously. "W-Well, accidents happen." Anatolii sighed. "It was my first time, okay!" Rosebelle burst out laughing in the backseat, causing Spencer to pout. Anatolii looked over at his seat for a moment before turning back to the road. "You don't even have your seat belt on."

Spencer looked down before groaning. Fine, fine, I get it. Maybe next time. Spencer put his seat belt on. "Can I at least put some tunes on?" Anatolii let out a sigh. "Go on ahead, but I swear to god if it's 'Life is a highway' from 'Cars' you will never see the light of day again."

Spencer ignored that obvious threat to his life and instead turned on 'Slow Motion' by Trey Songz. Anatolii was fine with this, the only problem was when Spencer started fucking singing it. Rosebelle peeked up from her phone at Anatolii's facial expression. He looked so done. His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter as he took a deep breath.

"This boy better be so damn lucky I love him." Anatolii muttered, his eye twitching as he turned the corner. Spencer soon caught wind of Anatolii's facial expression and busted out laughing.

Soon, they made it to Walmart. Anatolii pulled into the parking lot, taking out the keys and shutting the car door. Rosebelle was about to go after him, but Spencer held her back. "Let's see how he reacts when he realizes he's alone."

Anatolii continued walking until he made it to the elevator. He noticed it was too quiet. He turned around to see absolutely no one behind him. He took a deep breath before returning to the car.

Spencer and Rosebelle were talking together, almost forgetting they were meant to be shopping with this man, when they heard a knock on the window. They jumped and turned to see Anatolii with an unamused look on his face. Spencer chuckled a bit before sighing. "We're coming, Tolya."

They made their way out of the car and began walking over to the elevator. When they got to the floor they needed, Spencer and Rosebelle looked like they were about to go wild, and Anatolii knew this. "Focus." He muttered, walking in front of them, grabbing a cart. Spencer and Rosebelle seemed briefly embarrassed but agreed to be more human-like today.

They all walked together, picking up or picking out items they might need and putting them in the cart. Spencer threw in some chicken tenders/ chicken nuggets and fries, which Anatolii pretended not to notice. Rosebelle then noticed some pastries she wanted to buy. Seeing as Spencer and Anatolii were busy, she simply scattered off, promising herself to come back later.

"Okay, but which one of these suits look better on me?"

"Spence, they're both the same."

"This one has more slay though.."

"GET OU-"

The two walked together for a while, not even registering Rosebelle's disappearance as they were deep in conversation. Rosebelle, on the other hand, was about to head back..but discovered they were already gone…no worries, though. She was sure she knew how to find them…eventually. As she was walking, she noticed some arts and crafts supplies and started feeling a little devious.

Anatolii stopped the cart for a moment. "I feel like we're forgetting something."

"If you forgot, it probably wasn't that important." Spencer shrugged.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spencer just roasted Rosebelle God damn

They're adults here btw, and it takes place in the 2010's

I'd like to state that they are wearing rings here. not wedding rings (yet) but Spencer did buy them as proof of their "pre-engagement" era as he calls it.

@coquettesophia the food is almost done

[theadventuresofgarlandodra]

The Adventures of Garl and Odra Manyboots- A Rough Introduction

It seemed the Eswa Adventurer’s Guild was the place to be tonight. The music was playing, the beer was flowing… And at the bar, Sterling Van Broom, a broomstick of a man with a curled handlebar mustache and a haughty expression was discussing some more sinister work with the guild master.

“So, do you have anyone for the job?”

The guild master sighed, rubbing his right temple and cursing the god that brought this man into his guild. He glanced over the adventurers in the room, the happy go lucky halflings singing about their latest heroics, the cheery gnomes playing cards, the delighted elves and humans mingling together after the successful defeat of a red dragon… and then his gaze stopped at the table in the far corner, tucked away just out of sight from anyone casually entering the guild.

“For something like that, you’re gonna want Manyboots and her friend,” the guild master said, pointing towards that table.

Sterling looked at the table, where a person was having an animated conversation with a statue. He couldn’t get a better look, all he could tell was that whoever they were, they were quite… small. “The little one over there? Did you not hear me? I need-”

“I heard you plenty fine,” the guild master snorted, “and I told you who you’d need. No one else here will take something like that, so she’s the best you can do. So either talk with her or get the fuck out of my guild.”

Sterling huffed before he headed for that corner. This close he could hear the grating, shrill voice of this ‘Manyboots’, chattering away to apparently no one save the terrifying statue she was sitting next to, so clearly she was crazy.

“Excuse me, I’m here to-”

“HOLY FUCK, DO YOU MIND!?”

The chair spun around and Sterling was more than a little taken aback by the sight of a hideous goblin sitting there. She had a hood over her enormous head, disproportionate to the size of her body. Even compared to goblin kind in general, she was small, probably would be barely two feet tall while standing. Her massive red eyes glared at Sterling as she shook a dirty finger in his direction. “I’m in the middle of a conversation! You can’t just waltz up here and interrupt!” she said.

“I- um-” Sterling managed to recover from the shock and he straightened himself up. “I’m here to hire you for a job, but if you keep talking back to me like that-”

The goblin cackled before taking a long swig of her beer. Wiping the foam off her mouth, she leaned in, grinning from ear to impressively large ear. “Okay, you’re forgiven. Whatcha need? Robbery? Arson? Murder that looks like suicide, or just flat out murder?”

“W-well,” Sterling cleared his throat, “my father is the great Governor van Broom, but he will not recognize me as one of his heirs as my mother was one of his maids. She died of a broken heart, and I have nothing but a pitiful clock shop to my name. I have been robbed of my birthright, and I seek revenge upon the man that abandoned my mother and…” he trailed off as he realized Manyboots had tuned him out and was back to slurping from a mug that was over half the size of her torso. “Do you mind?!”

“Huh?” Manyboots looked up. “I’m sorry, I was waiting for you to get done with the boring backstory shit.”

Right. Now he was pissed. Sterling raised his hand to slap the smirk off this stupid little beast.

“Listen here, you little-”

In a blur of gray stone Sterling’s wrist was grabbed by… the statue.

That was not a statue.

It looked like a statue, but on second look Sterling could see it blink its glowing green eyes, how it glowered at Sterling as its claws dug into his arm.

Manyboots shrieked with laughter. “Your faaaace! Man, your faaaaaaace!” she said, wiping a tear away from her eye. “Oh man, that never gets old. Garl, let him go.”

Garl cocked his head to the side and Sterling felt cold sweat dripping down the back of his neck. Even if Garl wasn’t actually a statue, he had a clutch like one.

“Try hitting her again, and you’ll lose more than your birthright, bitch.”

The statue released Sterling and he jumped back, clutching his bruising arm to his chest and trying to say anything, only for meaningless stammering to babble from his lips.

“Right, let’s start from the beginning.” Odra slammed her mug down on the table and stood up on the chair. “I’m Odra Manyboots, and this is Garl the Gargoyle.” She leaned in uncomfortably close, Sterling trying not to gag on the smell of rotten meat on her breath. “Listen, we don’t care why you want us to do this. All we need to know is what needs to get done, when we need to get it done, and how much you’re going to pay us. Got it?”

Sterling cleared his throat. “I get it.” He sat down next to Odra and Garl, keeping an eye on the menacing gargoyle. “There’s a caravan coming into town next week from the west, bearing my father’s insignia. There will be guards, do what you have to in order to deal with them. I don’t care what you do with most of the belongings- burn them, keep them, sell them, but I only ask that you retrieve a necklace and give it to me. It’s silver with a large sapphire at the throat. I’ll pay you one hundred gold now, and another two hundred when the job’s completed.”

Odra twisted her face before turning to Garl. “Sound like a plan?” she asked.

Garl only grunted.

Odra turned back around and gave a thumbs up. “Got it. Now scram, Like I told you earlier, we were in the middle of a conversation, and you were fucking rude to interrupt.” She shooed Sterling away before turning back to her friend, who was back to looking like a nearly normal statue. “Where was I? Oh yeah, you were inside passed out and getting your face doodled on by a bunch of bards. Which you really shouldn’t have gotten so drunk, I’m eighty percent sure a few of them wanted to jump on your stone c-”

Right, time to go. Sterling threw the initial payment on the table and practically bolted out of the door. Odra waited until he was gone before she leaned in close to Garl.

“Sooooo… how much you want to bet that the necklace he’s talking about is worth way, way more than two hundred gold?”

Garl smirked. “Safe bet, since it’s for the governor,” he agreed.

“Goodie. I’ll work on the story about not being able to find it, you’ll back me up with your scary face.”

“And what is my scary face?”

“Your scary face is your face all the time.”

Garl rolled his eyes before grabbing on Odra’s ear and roughly pulling on it.

“OW! Ow, lemme go, I’m sorry! Ouch! You’re gonna make me spill my beer, lemme gooooo!”

Next Chapter

Author's Note: Hello! If you're reading this story and you enjoyed it, please consider reblogging it to share with others. Tips are also appreciated!

[pomefioredove]

I'm the VA crush anon.

Yea, I'd normally never dare to try myself, but I liked his personality enough that I didn't want to walk away without trying. I understand the whole parasocial aspect of it too, although I haven't claimed to think I know him. I thought of it more like... seeing his personality from the streams was like walking past him and hearing a conversation he was having with friends. I don't know him, but from what I heard he sounded like someone I'd want to get to know. I've heard since that he's had some weird stuff said to him, so I don't blame him for not interacting. It's just sad that I didn't really get a chance, you know? If we had met in a coffee shop then I might have had a chance. We could have been each other's 'one'.

But- I'm also saying this as someone who's almost 30 and never had a date or boyfriend. I've asked 2 others out, one guy turned out to be gay and the other was a flat out rejection and he got a girlfriend a few days later. I've only been asked out once over the internet. So that doesn't help with my self-esteem issues and thinking I'm gonna be alone forever. I wish I could meet my other half so much that I had to take a chance in case this guy could've been it.

This all sounds really....pathetic. I apologize for spilling it all out to you! Uh, to my defense, I'm just a girl with low self-esteem who wants to find her other half but feels like it'll never happen OTL

oh yeah I'm definitely not saying you had bad intentions or were being weird, I just think that he probably wouldn't have taken it well either way T_T I've been there so I know how it goes

also don't worry about sounding pathetic, there's nothing pathetic about not having had a relationship, first of all, and secondly I myself am a loser. my insta user is literally ongezelligst. this is a safe space for pathetic people. this is literally a blog for a gacha game. none of us are cool

sadly I have no love advice, except that e-dating isn't so bad (I would say make friends but making friends is so fucking hard??? especially as an adult. yeah)

[wolfboy88]

Teen Wolf Movie Review

I will admit when I first heard that there was going to be a movie, I was pretty damn well ecstatic as I think most of us were. I was excited to revisit these characters and see what they had been up to. But as the months went on and announcements were made about the upcoming movie, my excitement began to dwindle in the lead up to it’s release.

 I’ve gone into this viewing already knowing the plot and having seen the spoilers on my social media feeds and by reading the reviews. So, without further ado, I will now begin my own review.

 FYI Spoilers ahead. You’ve been warned.

 Okay, I’m gonna bite the bullet and just say it – the movie actually wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, but I didn’t exactly love it either. I think the problem lies in the title because it’s misleading in that it actually doesn’t feel like a movie, instead it feels like a 3-part episode crammed together, overstuffed with content and easter eggs, and oddly paced at times with a rushed ending.

 It feels like a soft reboot as well as a sequel to Season 3 and Season 3 only. Anything that happened from Season 4 onwards feels irrelevant and unconnected and at times it seems like Jeff doesn’t even remember his own character’s or what happened to them unless it’s Scott or Allison. By making Scallison endgame again it has simply undone seasons worth of character development just for the sake of bringing Scott and Allison back together. And for what? I don’t really know. The show evolved over the years and changed into something I quite enjoyed but Jeff seems stuck in the past, just like the movie is at times.

 The first hour takes great care to set up everything and to assemble the characters. I personally really enjoyed the first hour and I think it would have made much more sense for it not to be a movie but either a miniseries or a limited series. It would have been a stellar first episode. There just wasn’t enough time to properly deal with everything, to give anything enough room to breathe or to give the emotional beats time to hit their mark and to be fully felt let alone give any of the characters beside Scott, Allison, Eli, and Derek any resolution or closure.

 The build up to the final big fight scene should have been epic but it fell short and flat and rushed with most of the characters either tied up (literally, I’m not joking, there supposed to be werewolves for christ sake) or standing around doing nothing. The plot was simply downright bonkers. Yes, it was mad crazy but at times hella enjoyable but isn’t that the charm of Teen Wolf.  

 Alright I’m gonna heavily divulge into the plot now. So Spoilers… and I’m gonna do by best to summarise this as best I can but like I said, it’s mad bonkers.  

 Mr Harris, the long forgotten about teacher who died at the hands of Jennifer Blake in 3A is actually behind everything. For what you ask? To get his revenge on Scott and his friends. I was scratching my head at this because no explanation or context is given. It’s just accepted. Like didn’t he have his head cut off or something? There were scars around his neck like it had been stitched back on, but nothing is explained about his apparent resurrection.

 So basically Mr Harris flies to Japan to steal the jar that is housing the Nogitsune that is at a ramen shop that Liam and Hikari own and releases the Nogitsune who brings Allison back to life and uses the Oni to kidnap everybody and hold them hostage in a magical spirit realm located underneath the college lacrosse stadium.

 The Nogitsune plan is basically to have Allison shoot Scott in the heart and have him die in her arms and make everyone watch and so he can capture their sadness to become even more powerful. Scott pretends to die but Hikari temporarily gives him her armour to protect him.

 Nogitsune then turns into a werewolf-nogitsune-hybrid-monster-thing (?!?) and the impending big battle falls flat. Basically, everyone stands around doing nothing as Derek, Eli and Scott fight hybrid monster in another magical realm before breaking through to end up atop of the Nemeton that is now on the lacrosse field (?!?) It is then decided that Parrish will hug the monster and burn it to death using his hellfire but it turns out the monster won’t stay still long enough for him to it so Derek basically offers himself up to be fried to death, and dies in front of his son and the trauma cycle for the Hale’s continues.

 Derek’s death doesn’t sit right with me. For one, I don’t believe Derek nor the Nogitsune are actually dead. It feels too easy like it will be the next plot to another film. But did Jeff really go I’m gonna burn Derek to death like his own family did in the house fire? Like come on, it just feels icky and wrong and if Derek had to die, I personally believe it would have had a bigger emotional impact if Derek had died earlier when Allison shot him in the neck at the high school around the 1-hour mark. That would have upped the stakes and made everything seem more direr as well as being an incredible emotional pull. It would have given the story more depth than simply being about Scott and Allison.

 This might also be a controversial opinion, but I personally believe Peter should have been the one to die. It would have been a real full circle moment for the series as a whole and for his character development. Going from being the original big bad villain to sacrificing himself for a pack who he tried to kill many times and ended up helping in the end. The emotional pull would have hit harder as we already know and care about Malia unlike Eli who we barely even know.

 In saying that, Eli was good addition but it’s hard to ignore that he is essentially a cardboard copy of Stiles, right down to his mannerisms. Except for being a wolf.  

 I don’t even know what the point of Liam and Mason being in the movie was. They were barely in it and had a combined screen time of like ten minutes and had no scenes together except for one and even that was a stretch. So, Jeff wants us to believe that these two didn’t stay best friends? It’s really hard to fathom. And I think that’s what irks me the most. My two favourite characters being basically shafted. They served no real purpose to the story other than just being there.

 Other new addition Hikari was lovely, but we didn’t get much time to appreciate her or know anything about her except only that she is a kitsune and it becomes painfully obvious why Kira was relevant to the story. The lending of her armour was a pretty cool lore development but it feels like it was meant to be an arc for Kira’s story.

 I would also like to point out that if it hadn’t been mentioned beforehand in interviews, I would have not known that Liam and Hikari were together and at best they felt like platonic besties like Mason and Liam should have been. Also, Hikari’s age is never mentioned but she would have to be older than 17 to own a restaurant.  

 Stiles’ absence had been well-warned about and while it was felt at times, Scott and Lydia’s friendship was enough to ground the movie. Arguably I think Posey and Roden turned out their best work in this. Poesy is fabulous as a leading man and Roden’s always been a powerhouse in literally any her scenes, and I have to say Lydia and Scott’s reunion scene was just the right side of poignant and palpable.

 The chemistry between the rest of the cast is pretty much intact too and at times it felt like coming home or being wrapped in a nice cosy blanket and there’s some wicked enjoyment at being able to see Teen Wolf characters finally getting to swear on screen, even if it felt unwarranted at times.

 At times it was corny as fuck and mad bonkers but hey, that was part of Teen Wolf’s allure and charm. The humour of the series is still there but not quite as strong as it could have been. Shelley’s deadpan delivery of Malia’s lines had been chucking at my screen and Jackson and Peter were just there as comedic relief. The scene where Peter literally crawls around the rock face sniffing the ground was just hands down too funny and plain weird.

 Malia and Parrish’s relationship didn’t gel with me, and the nude scene wasn’t really needed. Although it was nice to see their hot bods. I also liked the brotherly sisterly thing going on with Malia and Eli. And also the hint at Malia and Derek’s niece-uncle relationship.

 Like most of the movie, nothing is mentioned or explained about what happened after the show ended and we’re left wondering about what happened to all the relationships that were in place when the credits rolled around for the last episode. I think that’s my biggest gripe is that we have no real answers to what happened after the end of show. There’s no mention of the war or what happened to Monroe. Was she caught? Is she dead? Does everyone know that supernatural creatures exists? Like was a 15-year time jump really necessary? I think 5 years would have done just fine. It’s sad that the pack didn’t stay together because I really don’t believe that would have happened. Yes, some of them were going off to college and whatnot, but it still made sense for them to return or at least stay in contact.

 Apparently, the only couple still together is Ethan and Jackson, of all people. Apparently Lydia and Stiles broke up because Lydia kept having a recurring dream or premonition if you will, of them having a car accident and Stiles dying. I don’t how to feel about that. But I guess that’s why the Jeep was left in Beacon Hills.

 There is literally no mention of Corey or Theo or anyone else. Scott and Malia’s relationship is reduced to nothing but an awkward reunion and then simply brushed aside, just like about everything else that’s happened in the series after the events of 3B. And I find it weird that Hayden didn’t return. If Scott needed his pack you would think he’d knew all of his bitten betas.

 The nods and easter eggs back to the show were a delight and purely fan service and I lapped them all up. It was also nice to see Victoria Argent back in two brief cameos when Allison is talking to the Nogitsune and he turns into her mother. The flashbacks were great too.

 I loved that Liam had the opening scene and that Scott trusted him to keep the jar safe. It does back sense to have the jar far away as possible from Beacon Hills, but it is disappointing that he barely interacted with anyone else. Not Mason. Not Scott. Again, what happened to the alpha and beta bond that is supposed to be stronger than a parental? But did like Liam coming in for the save on Derek.

 Same with Mason, his scenes were basically with Parrish and the Sherriff, and I don’t buy Mason being a cop. Jeff dropped the ball with them, and it clearly shows. Painfully so.

 All in all, it wasn’t the return to Beacon Hills that I’d hoped for. It was entertaining and had flashes to its heyday but ultimately it was disappointing too. It feels like Jeff wrote a love letter for only half the show and failed to move pass that era of the show and at times reads like a canon divergence fan fic.  

 Would I watch Teen Wolf Movie again? Probably, but just for shits and giggles and the warm hug. And just to see Liam with his beard. But really, I’d rather rewatch the series again.  

 I’m gonna head back to my Thiam corner of the fandom now and believe that Liam ran off with Theo to Japan to be together away from the pack. Striked up a beautiful friendship with Hikari and Theo was unable to return to Beacon Hills to help because he was off galivanting with Isaac in Paris 😊

 And for those who did watch the film, I’d love to hear your thoughts and take too.

[richardsphere]

Leverage Redemption Log: The Pyramid Job

Well either we're going to Egypt (not in the budget) the louvre (not in the budget) or a Bass Pro Shop (in the budget, unlikely). That or its an MLM. --- Woman is telling her MLM bosses about how she needs to leave the MLM. They tell her success is definitly on the way.

Huh an MLM that has a return policy. (i mean its definitely a shit policy that scams them but thats better then most MLM's)

And they reverse psychology the woman back into the pyramidcult. --- Scene opens with a person in an old london flat-cap getting thrown into a container of hay by Elliot. (this guy is so london that i'd be suprised if this doesnt somehow tie into the "Sophie Backstory" that is being slowly woven into the season-arc.)

Pick London Tweeds pocket full of diamonds, fund a school, pay off debts. Denouement for an off-screen adventure.

Huh, im right. Its just not the same guy but this "Billie the Gent" fellow is also wearing a flatcap (and this guy is even wearing something tweed-like) So i assume this scene is taking place in a London warehouse (the beautiful thing about warehouses, they're pretty standard regardless of geographical location. No need for expensive on-location shots)

Billy is worried about his daughter (she was a baby when Sophie sent him and Arthur to prison)

Elliot dated someone who bought the product.

Billie is doing a bit of a guilt trip, and Elliot doesnt trust him. So expect a third-act betrayal of some sort. --- Con starts in-medias-res. Breanna is an accountant. She does not like how much firewalls they've put around comic sans slideshows of babies.

The point of the Con (at least for now): Get a virus on the server. Automated "return true" to all attempts at a refund.

I dont think that the people working at the datacenters of an MLM are usually in the "level"-based structure. So we need a Diamond key... well if they're all on the funky little wristwatch-drives like Saphire here has? Thats a simple Parker Pickpocket. (seems that she's thinking along the same lines).

Also daily, streams from the boss bitch? Thats gonna make a return, and knowing the standard Leverage MO: That is gonna be her Confession Cam

Sophies scheme for Richard: Divide and conquer by convincing him he needs some more Toxic Masculinity in his life. But like, only a smidgen. So its a Harry job, not an Elliot.

--- Sophie arrives at the cult-fundraiser thing. (Parker is in situ as waitstaff) Thank god this show is willing to drop the C word. (Cult. Though though the other one might be apropriate as well) Ok so apparently the company just steals downlines whenever they want?

Richard exists stage to let Debra shine. Do some pseudo-inspirational brainwashing. We have found Billies daughter Miranda. Parker offers up the Venezuela Protocol. --- Operation Bromcom is initiated. I do not like the Tom Selleck stache on Harry.

Bromcom makes it into Phase 2 no problem. --- Debra reads through Sophies accent and really puts her on the spot, also she puts the spots on her. Cut for comercial as if Sophie doesnt have an earpiece. --- Ok we're not even bothering with the earpiece, Sophie is just gonna StageCultBS her way out of this.

But yeah Debra is onto Sophie. Which isnt really a problem? (Sophie is only here to keep an eye on Miranda and create an opening for Parker to do her thing. Being in the spotlight is kind of the point) --- Back with Breanna, Saphire very much is starting to see the dawning light Re:Pyramids. It's far from noon yet but its definitly twilight.

Ronald has a real "they've got skulls on them" moment when he sees the Teletubbies sunbaby on a giant pyramid in the logo. --- Sophie has Parker feign a pregnancy. (she named the kid after Hardison)

And we've just (temporarily) screwed over Miranda. (look there are no stakes here)

Seriously how many glass pyramids are on this table Miranda is standing at?

"I dont have a tissue but you can use my sleeve". 10/10. Well looks like Parker has succesfully convinced Miranda to leave. --- Meanwhile Billy is talking on the phone with someone in a foreign language. Meanwhile Elliot, not involved in our Con, is keeping tabs on Billy. Turns out Elliot can see a narrative throughline when its in his face and is gonna punch it out of Billy before the concequences of Sophies past come to blow our heroes' faces off. --- Back with Harry, Parker tells him to play the "manly emotional insecurity card". ("If only my dad had been able to tell me he was proud of me when he was still alive") Richard has a safe and Parker is ready to go. (so we're switching Diamond-bracelet targets from Debra to Richard) --- Back with Elliot, Billy is remniscing about old times. (turns out food works just as well as punches)

He doesnt trust Sophie, but also he doesnt have any grudges against her. (he understands that she didnt sell him out, he was going down anyway and he doesnt resent her, unlike Arthur) --- Back at Cultcon, Sophie is being politely interogated by Debra. (Debra sees a kinship/rivalry i think?)

Oh i see. (perhaps a bit late). its a maternity cult, about parenthood. And Sophie was always very maternal basically taking all of 2 episodes before becoming an all-out mom to Parker in the OG run. We're about to drop the "you abandoned your child" revelation aren't we? The narrative throughline of the season isnt the Duke she married, its the current duke/duchess that's gonna be the season finale. --- Back to Breanna and Robert, turns out the cheap bracelets cost 200 USD. Also he wants to play Jazz. Breanna knows where the Yes Virus needs to go (penthouse computer) --- Parker tells Harry to move it like a madagaskan lemur. Gold bars, land title deeds in Uzbek... (close enough to russia that it might have been a something Billy was covering up. Except then a reveal that Elliot knows he wasnt speaking russian cause Elliot speaks Russian.)

Oh god he's working with Billy. Thats our 3rd act complication isnt it? (yes a "sophie had a child" reveal would be a twist but it wouldnt be a complication to the con. But a betrayal by Billy...)

Richard challenges Harry to a duel. (who has spotted the bracelet. its in the mancave.) --- Oh Sophie is doing exposition about Nate, i thought we were gonna get into the Duke. (Or it could be both)

Richard just knocked Harry's earpiece out (quick, tell him its a hearing aid. You've spent too much time around loud cars and payed the price. He'll fall for it!) --- Back from commercial, It seems Harry is going for the lie i came up with (im starting to really get feel these writers)

Parker is compromised with her fake belly, and unfortunately Richard isnt buying the hearing aid story (worth a try) --- Breanna is so pissed that Harry's sword-fighting a viking and she's stuck as an accountant. (Ronald has gone home, grabbed his trumpet, returned to tell Breanna and now he's off again) --- "your brandy is watered down and your cubans are fake" hitting him where it hurts him most.

Harry gets to catch punch out a guy with a sword and catch a thrown axe with his shield. He's really getting into Phase 4. --- Meanwhile back at Sophie, we're she's stalling for time with expositiondumps to Debra. And the clock strikes (i think it was 4?) and Sophie turns the tide from reluctant admisions of past trauma to goading and baiting Debra into a confession. Oh she's calling for security after she just confessed to her actions on her own daily livestream? I do wonder what'll happen when we get back from commercials --- So yeah she was on broadcast (cause of course)

Breanna used Harry as a distraction to put her virus on Richards Wristband (man, if only Debra hadnt insisted on a Nuclear Missile-type 2-key situation she could've stopped all the returns from happening right now)

Harry runs into the Denouement looking like a fool because someone has to explain the logistics of the financial fallout (also he put in a call, the repoman works fast) --- Back at the theatre the Selleck Stache has been glued to a mixer. Parker is keeping the baby, and Harry is keeping the armor (it reeks but its probably expensive)

Richard spilled some beer in the car (which, is anticlimactic as far as "you ruined my car for the mission" jokes go), and Richard is playing jazz outside the theatre. ---

YES I KNEW THAT IT WASNT RUSSIA! It was the Uzbek deed after all! So our next mark is presumably this Ramsey guy. (if he's into runways, he's probably a plane-based smuggler) Final camera pan upwards to a devil-like statue. (not a Gargoyle as it isnt a waterfeature, and its mouthes and orifices are closed so it also isnt a grotesque)