#((and don't get me started on actually putting it into the washing machine

[reanimated-owl]

((what is everyone's least favorite chore mine is laundry

[mirohlayo]

hii can u do a lando one where like one of them (lando or reader) kiss in the midle of an argument

hi, of course i can !! i don't know if that's what you wanted but i wrote it more in a cute way, not really angst :)

KISS ME, FORGIVE ME | LN4

( you and lando had an argument and kissing you seems like the best way for him to settle everything. )

warning: none

note : not really satisfied with it but it's still okay i guess

word count : 1.5k

!! english not my first language !!

you were stubborn yes. but not for too long. you're stubborn because of course your ego is on the line and sure you're too proud to admit it's your fault.

but right now it's not your fault. well, that was your point of view.

you're sure the argument you just had with your boyfriend was not because of you, but him. yes, because of lando norris himself. and you hate when you have to be the one to apologize when it's not even you the problem.

but on the other hand, lando is pretty sure you're the one who started it all. he is stubborn too. he has his own proud and ego too and he knows for sure he'll never let himself being disrespected like that.

but the truth is that this whole argument is just stupid. it is a silly argument. you guys keep complaining over something that is not even a big deal at all.

cleaning and housework are things you and lando talked about before, during the beginning of your relationship. you agreed on the fact that you would switch up the cleaning tasks each week. so like that both of you would take part of the domestic tasks.

it was lando's week. he had to get the laundry done. you were sure about that because housework is very important for you and you really take care of your house's cleanliness. but for him, it was your task. he accidentally forgot that it was his week because of his busy f1 schedule.

and with the jet lag, he completely missed the fact you cleaned the house by yourself those last two weeks. so actually he should do double cleaning duties, but considering he needs a lot of rest after the race season you just leave it to him for this time.

but here you two are, mad at each other. nobody talk, nobody care about the other. just for a silly argument.

lando yelled at you because he was sure you had to clean up the house. when actually he was the one to do it. you yelled back, because of course you are not the one to blame at. and now it's been 3 hours since you last spoke together.

lando is still mad at you of course, but less than you. he thought about the argument during these 3 hours and, he knows it. he's wrong on that. he shouldn't have yelled at you when he's the one at fault. he feels guilty now.

you pass in front of him, walking away in a quick walk. he just looks at you, following you with his puppy eyes. he knows it's his own fault and he blame himself right now.

he wants to apologize. even though he's still a bit mad, he truly needs to apologize to you because deep inside he cares about you and he don't like when you're upset. so he follows you in the bathroom, where the washing machine is in.

he watches you open the washing machine's door and put all the dirty laundry in it, of course with an irritated expression and also making a lot of noise. you look clearly mad and angry, like you are still pissed off.

you can feel lando's presence and intense gaze on you and it gets on your nerves.

lando notices it. he notices that he clearly annoys you now and that you're still mad at him. that's why he wants to help you. he wants to apologize to you and he thinks if he starts by helping you with the laundry it'd be a good idea.

he approaches you carefully and put the others dirty clothes in the laundry basket, sorting the colors at the same time. he wants to do a good job. he extends his hand to grab the detergent but stops when he hear you sigh. "stop acting like you want to help"

he shift his head and look at you. he frowns a little bit. "but that's the point, i want to help" he replies, dismayed. you roll your eyes, you don't even want to hear whatever he's trying to say. "i don't need your help. i guess doing a third cleaning chore won't hurt after all" you coldly answer and glare at him.

you keep putting the clothes in the washing machine and he just stand here, not knowing how to react. "but you should have told me earlier that is was my week !! how could i know it ?" he defends himself, a bit annoyed. "you're a grown man and you don't even know how to follow a cleaning schedule ?"

now you face him, and he can tell you're absolutely irritated. he doesn't like that. "but i race, i have others things to think about !! and i'm tired, of course i can forget that fucking cleaning schedule!" "don't you think i'm tired too ? i also work every day and still i always clean up the house when you're not home !! i do your chores but yet i don't complain"

he stops arguing. he knows he's the one at fault and he already feels guilty, so you adding a layer affects it even more. he genuinely regrets everything he said earlier, he knows he is wrong for that and now all he wants is to apologize and do household chores for the next months.

"you don't even want to admit that it's your fault, or maybe you're too stupid to even reali-"

oh, you didn't expect that.

you feel his lips move on yours. he wraps his muscly arms around your waist and deepen the kiss. and then he pulls back. "i know. i admit it it's my own fault."

you still freeze. what just happened ? you were cutting off by his sudden kiss. you don't even know how to react or what to do, you stay silent for a while, blinking. trying to process everything. "w-what ? you're going to apologize like that ? with a kiss ?" you finally say, not really sure about your sentence but add a roll eyes.

"oh because you want to settle this in the bedroom ?" he says, grinning at you. you frown, confused. but still like that he is able to make you blush, and you slightly slap his chest. "shut the fuck up you".

now your feelings are mixed. you're still a bit mad of course, but the sudden kiss literally change your mood. you love his kisses, so you don't really know how to feel right now. a part of you want to keep playing the annoyed girlfriend but the kiss just changed everything. it seems way easier to forgive him now.

"okay, but still i don't forgive you yet" you pronounce trying to keep your eyebrows down and he grins wider. he quickly leans in and place an other kiss on your lips, softly bitting your lower lip. "and now babe ?" he playfully asks against your pink lips. his eyes are filled with amusement.

you can't help but feel butterflies in your stomach, your heart flutters. you avoid eye contact and cross your arms. "no. i'm still mad at you". you genuinely know you already forgave him and all you want is to kiss him back. but you need to make him regret it a little more.

"you really want me huh ?" he whispers and without even realizing it, he's already kissing you once again, but this time more roughly. your back suddenly presses against the washing machine and he strokes your waist with his hands.

but even you can't resist him. you join in the kiss and bury your hands in his curls, playing with them. he lift you up and make you sit on the washing machine, holding you tight. he pulls back, his face still close to your lips, and plant his eyes in yours. he grins at you, and peck your rosy lips because he bites them way too hard.

you shyly smiles at him and can't even look him in the eyes. "i know you can't resist me baby. but that's okay, cause who can actually ?" "i swear you really need to keep your mouth shut" you roll your eyes but grin with him, because maybe he was right. nobody can't resist him, it's a fact.

he gives you a quick kiss again. "now can you accept my precious help and let me do the cleaning tasks with you please ?" you act like you were thinking about it, showing a fake hesitant expression. "please, love. i'll even do the next cleaning session if that's what you want. just let me help you" he begs you with puppy eyes, you obviously had to say yes.

"okay but cuddle me in the bed before. your kisses made me needy" you says and he can't hide his big smile. "whatever my baby wants" he playfully replies and carry you to the bedroom.

you two finish cuddling close in the bed, telling how much you love each other. and maybe also completely forgot about the laundry.

[astraystayyh]

A cat proposal

summary : minho is in love & wants to marry you

pairing : Lee Know x reader, pre-established relationship.

genre : FLUFF

warnings : mention of wanting to have kids together at the end.

the things i would do to have this man.... hope you enjoy reading!! feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments, it will be very appreciated!! <33

You were lying down on the couch, Minho sprawled on top of you. His head was on your chest, his nose nuzzling your stomach every now and then as if to remind you he was there. And you were playing with the locks of his hair lazily, drawing mindless circles on his back from time to time.

It had been exactly two weeks since Minho moved in with you. You hadn't really had the time to relax, just the both of you. His schedule was hectic and so was yours, as it was nearing the end of the year. You only saw each other when he came home late to you; bringing your body to his and peppering kisses on the soft curve of your shoulder.

But today, he managed to come home early, and so did you. Which led to an impromptu movie night together. Still, you couldn't really focus on the movie, the dialogue coming to you like mindless chatter. You had something to suggest to Minho, and you didn't really know how he would take it.

He must have noticed that you were looking up at the ceiling, since he blew a raspberry on your stomach, prompting startled giggles from you. He smirks, before placing a small kiss on your bare skin, "what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"I have something to tell you, just think about it okay? You don't have to reply now."

"Okay, tell me about it," he turns the TV off, giving you his undivided attention. It made you flustered, how he always looked at you like you were the only person that mattered on this earth.

"Well... since you moved in. I thought... why not bring your cats here in the apartment, this way you could see them more often and we could take care of them together," you start off, your rhythm accelerating with each word.

"I mean, I know it will take time for them to get used to a new place, so we could do it gradually? They could stay over for a weekend until they feel comfortable here," you start to ramble. "And you could put their toys and playhouse in the washing machine room since it's nearly empty, and we'd take turns taking care of them and I don't mind feeding them and changing their litter box when you are on tour, and I'd bring them to your parent's house because they might miss them and-"

"Honey, breathe," he chuckles and you stop, gulping. You really forgot how to breathe during your little speech.

After that, it's silent. Minho doesn't say anything, placing his head back on your stomach. Your cheeks are turning a crimson red from embarrassment, you just made a fool out of yourself, didn't you?

Your frantic train of thought is interrupted when Minho picks up your hand and starts kissing your knuckles softly. He doesn't look at you as he places chaste kisses on each of your fingertips; as if his lips meeting your skin was worthy of all his attention.

The truth is, Minho couldn't talk right now. Not because he didn't want to, but because he was afraid if he ever spoke, he wouldn't be able to stop the flow of words yearning to come out.

There are one million words in Korean, yet none of them seemed fit to express his adoration for you. He racked his brain for the right combination of words, because 'I love you' didn't cut it anymore. What he felt was more than love, it was a heart wrenching feeling in the most beautiful way.

Minho knew you loved him too, but it was in moments like this that he was reminded that you actually love him. That you were as infatuated with him as he was with you. That you thought about him just like he thought about you.

Kissing your fingertips, one at a time, he couldn't help but remember a fact he once read; there are twenty three words for love alone in Arabic. Maybe he should learn them, maybe he should learn every expression of love that was ever invented, every love poem that was written throughout history. And then he'd recite them to you, one by one. Maybe then you'd understand how you make him feel.

But he couldn't bring himself to tell you all of this, so instead, he settled on a love language that the both of you understood- touch. As his lips met your knuckles, he hoped that you'd feel it all through his kisses. That you'd know how much love he holds for you.

He finally looks up at you, his eyes holding yours in an intimate gaze. It's a while before he speaks again. "I will marry you one day, you know that right?" he whispers softly, as if it's a secret meant for the two of you alone.

Your breath hitches in your throat at his words, he wanted a forever with you?

"You mean that?" you whisper back, voice hoarse from the emotions you were barely keeping at bay. 

"I do. Would you like that?" he asks in a small voice, as if there was a possibility you'd say no. You almost scoff at that thought; not in this life, not in the next one.

"Of course. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Min," you tell him sincerely, your eyes wide looking into his so he'd know how serious you are.

"I want... I want our cats here," he starts off, knocking the breath out of you, 'our'.

"And I want silly supermarket lists with you, that I wouldn't be able to read because your writing is shit," you both chuckle, his laugh reverberating through your entire body. You always felt it deep inside you when he laughed, as if it was a melody meant for you only to hear.

"And i want to brush my teeth with you. I want to come home and see you with the cats. I want to cook for you and I want to kiss you when I wake up and sleep," he whispers, head now buried into your chest as if he was embrassed to say those words out loud.

"And I want.. I want kids with you, I want a girl running around that looks just like you. And you'd both greet me at the door and I'd die a happy man."

Silent tears are falling out of your eyes right now, 'you'd be a good mother', he once told you. And now, he wanted you to be the mother of his kids. It felt like your heart was in his palm and that he was squeezing it with every word he said. But you didn't mind, you knew that Minho would never squeeze too far to break you. You were safe with him. 

"We’ll have that my love, I promise," you smile, placing a sweet kiss on his head. "But i want a boy that looks like you,"you playfully pout. 

"There could only be one me," he tsks, waving a hand in the air as if to dismiss your words. 

"This is your son we are talking about," you laugh, your hand threading through his hair once again. 

"Our son," he clarifies and you blush. "Yeah.. our", you repeat, a soft smile on your face and he finally looks up at you again. 

You bop his nose with your finger playfully and he grins at the action. "So… does this mean you want the cats to move in?"

"Of course silly. My favorite people in one place, I can't wait."

"Cats are not people," you tease, and he rolls his eyes at your words. 

"Details."

He then stands up, pulling you up with him. His hand gently cradles your jaw and his lips fall perfectly on top of yours; the kiss making stars swirl in front of your eyes. "I love you so much Min," you whisper in between kisses and he smiles, "I love you yn, so much more than you know."

"I know, you know, Lee Know," you joke and he pushes your face away with his finger, "Nevermind, I take my proposal back."

"No can do. You are stuck with me forever," you singsong, pulling him in for a tight hug. 

Forever with you, he really liked the sound of that. 

[christronomy]

cw : perv chan kinda, stepcest, age gap (chan is older but reader is still of legal age), groping kinda?? cheating basically (don't read this if you're uncomfortable with these topics)

been thinking about stepdad chan fucking you behind your mom's back. he'd always showed interest in you from the first time you met, but you didn't pay any mind to it. it all started off as some light banter between the two of you, until it progressed to him putting his hands on your waist whenever he walked past you, flirting with you, even getting handsy when your mom wasn't looking, even if she was in the same room. sometimes he'd grab your ass or touch your thighs, and then laugh it off when he saw you jump slightly in your spot from the unexpected contact. you never made any effort to stop him, so he took that as a green light to continue, which meant his behavior progressed even more. it's not like you wanted him to stop, though. you actually kinda wanted to know what he'd do next.

there were really no complaints about him so far—he was a pretty good looking guy (that's an understatement, he's ridiculously attractive), he was kind, always put others before himself, had an insanely attractive accent, he treated your mother so much better than your asshole of a father did, and you can't forget those pretty plump lips of his, the ones that were working on your clit not too long ago, which brings us back to the present moment.

it's not like you wanted him to stop anyways, not when he was now fucking you from behind in the laundry room, your body sprawled over the washing machine, one of his hands covering your mouth to muffle your pathetic moans while his other hand was wrapped snugly around your neck. your mom was cooking dinner in the kitchen, which was a few rooms away, but she had no idea. she was under the impression that chris had gone to shower and that you were finishing up some chores, and the loud whirring sound coming from the extractor hood was enough to cancel out any sound that came from other parts of the house. he already has you dumb on his cock in a matter of minutes, the exhilaration of possibly getting caught causing adrenaline to shoot through your veins, and the feeling of him practically splitting you open made you dizzy with excitement. not to mention the absolute filth he's spitting in your ear. "you like older men like me 'cause they're more experienced, right? they know how to use their cock to please greedy little cunts like yours."

he'll cum inside you and pull your underwear up for you, sticking the fabric up your dripping hole with his fingers to make sure not a single drop of his cum leaks out, then he'll make you sit at the dinner table without cleaning up, because nothing gets him more excited than knowing that your mom has no idea what events ensued moments before, as you sit all pretty with your legs crossed, cause you're trying your best to keep his seed inside you until dinner's over like the good girl you are for him.

[manyaccidents]

"All done cutie, you can go back to coloring now" said Alyssa as she finished doing the last tape on my fresh diaper.

"But it's no fair!" I whined, all too aware of how childish I sounded. Trying my best to come across more mature, and wanting to be taken seriously, I continued in a slight huff "I don't even need a babysitter. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself". The situation I found myself in painted the opposite picture, but I was still trying desperately to hold onto the few last crumbs of dignity I had left, and even those were quickly slipping out of my grasp.

"Oh you're a big girl?" Alyssa said with a hint of a smile. "I'm so sorry sweetheart, I didn't realize. Tell you what, why don't you explain to me why you're a big girl who can take care of herself. If you are able to convince me, I'll convince your Daddy for you!"

Excitement bubbled up within me. Finally! A chance to get out of this! But almost as soon as the feeling came, it was replaced by one of unconfident apprehension. "What am I even supposed to say now?" I thought to myself, starting to panic. I had to say something, Alyssa was waiting. I couldn't waste this opportunity.

"um.." I started "well you see, um...".

I was totally blanking. I swear I had good reasons, but now that they were actually being put to the test they sounded substantially more flimsy and not thought through.

"It's alright darling, take a deep breath and begin from the top" Alyssa instructed comfortingly. This was not starting off well.. I took a shaky breath. The stakes were too high, I couldn't mess this up.

"um.. so well.. first I can.." - why was it so hard to think of something?? I stood there desperately trying to think of at least one thing I could say, aware that every second that passed was making my reward less likely. My heart was pounding and my thoughts racing. Without giving it any thought, desperate to at least say something, I blurted out the first thing that popped into my mind.

"I can eat meals by myself!"

A look of slight incredulity could be seen on Alyssa's face but she stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue.

"Um.. and I can... help with laundry! And cleaning up my room! And... I can even use the microwave and toaster by myself! I've been practicing! And... I can take care of my pets!" I finished in a rush.

Alyssa nodded her head slowly. "That's quite a list you've got there cupcake, but I just want to ask you a few questions about it okay? I just want to make sure I understand"

I swallowed hard, feeling a mixture of fear and hope in my stomach. "Okay..." I managed to squeak out.

"Great!" Alyssa smiled warmly. "Now, let's see. First off, can you tell me which meals can you eat by yourself? The ones that are already cut up in bite sized pieces?"

Her question caught me off guard, and I felt a twinge of panic. I knew I had to be careful not to say anything that would give away too much. "Um, well, s-sometimes it's c-cut up..." I stammered, trying to think of an answer that wouldn't make me sound too incompetent. "I mean, I can eat some meals by myself, like macaroni and cheese or chicken nuggets.."

Alyssa smiled at me "Thank you sweetie I think I understand now. Alright, next question; Have you ever done the laundry by yourself?"

I took a deep breath before answering. "Well, I helped Daddy put clothes in the washing machine and dryer a few times, and last time I did it all by myself!" Raising her eyebrows, Alyssa replied

"Your Daddy told me about that.. He said there were soap suds everywhere and that a certain someone used a little too much soap" I looked away, not wanting her to see how pink my face was getting. She chuckled, continuing "Well, I'm sure your Daddy was very proud of you for trying at least. Now, let's talk about cleaning your room. Do you clean it every day or just when you're told?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "Um, well... "I try to keep it clean, bu-" Alyssa nodded, seeming to accept this as my answer. "And what about taking care of your pets?"

Finally confident in one of my answers I proudly state

"I pet them and I play with them all the time!! And they go outside and I watch them to make sure they are ok!"

"It sounds like you love them very much, but do you feed them, clean their litter box, and give them fresh food and water every day?" Alyssa inquired, already knowing the answer.

I felt a pang of guilt. "Well... um... I usually just play with them... but I thought that was taking care of them isn't it..?"

Alyssa smiled sweetly "So those are the reasons you think you're a big girl? You think you'd be okay by yourself for a few hours?"

I nodded shyly, looking at my feet.

"Well, I'm not quite convinced sweetie. Can you use the stove by yourself? Or the oven? Alyssa asked, her tone gentle but firm. "And what about changing your diapers? We wouldn't want someone's wet diapee to give them a rash right?" I felt my face flush even more. "I... um... I don't really know how to d-do those things..." I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

Alyssa nodded, her expression sympathetic. "I know, and it's okay honey, I understand. You're still just a little girl, and there's a lot you don't know how to do yet. But that's why you have a babysitter here to help you when Daddy's not around, okay?"

I wanted to argue, but though I didn't want to admit it to myself, her words rang true. I looked down at my lap, the infantile garment stark proof of Alyssa's assessment.

Alyssa, noticing my silence, gently took my hand in hers. "I know it's hard to accept, sweetheart, but you're still just a little girl, and that's okay! Don't be in such a rush to grow up, being an adult is so boring... I know! Why don't I make us some popcorn and put on your favorite movie until your Daddy comes home, how does that sound?" Alyssa suggested animatedly, already knowing how easily my attention is diverted.

"Tangled?!" I squealed excitedly, forgetting everything temporarily. "Yeah, that sounds like fun!" I beamed up at Alyssa and ran to the living room to get ready, forgetting my skirt in my excitement.

Alyssa shook her head, smiling. "A big girl indeed.."

[serxinns]

idk if u do angst or not but i love me so good angst so if u dont mind can u do some kiribaku x reader angst plz i would love that thx like they cooking for kiri and bakugo and bakugo complains about how little reader dose and kiri agrees cuz they just kinda stay at home and clean do the laundry and so like after he says that she gets mad so the next day she does nothing and like just reads like doesn't cook for them that night doesn't do there laundry and doesn't clean the house that day and at first bakugo's mad about it and kiri doesn't know what to feel and this go's for a few day and kiri and bakugo have to do everything and the see how hard it is and apologizes to reader! i think it cute

thank you plz dont feel like u have to! i love ur writing

*evil laughter* you fool I AM THE IDEAL ANGST WRITER AND IM A KIRIBAKU FAN IM A YUZUYA FAN AFTER ALL 😈

You were humming along to your favorite song as you were carrying 3 baskets of both your husband's clothes "That's About all of them" you huffed in relief you then grabbed and poured all the bleached cleaning chemicals in there and the clothes and turned on the washing machine "ok so I cleaned the room unclothed the sink and the toilet went and got groceries what else..." you were thinking for a while until a delight smell met your nose

"Man whatever Kats is cooking must be good I might sneak a bite or two.." a mischievous grin started forming on your face you crept out of the laundry room in the halls to where the kitchen to hear Kiri and Katsuki talking, you leaned your ear closer and it seems like they were talking about you

"And then when I came back I saw y/n tried and laying on the couch sleeping like a layout sloth with MY favorite chips in hand! " You giggled as you heard Katsuki angrily rambling on to his other lover Kiri about you slacking off thinking he was still holding a grudge about the snack incident"God I wish she could just do SOMETHING around the house rather than clean and BARELY cooking shes so..LAZY" "bakugo don't be so mean but yea I kinda agree I wish she could do more in the house rather than clean.."

Your heart stung at that very moment tears started to swell up in your eyes you had to carry Kiri's 2000-pound dumbbells when it was delivered at his home which bruised your hands and arms pretty bad, another time you saw permanent stainsmon Akatsuki's hero suit due to a battle with a notorious villain and decided to spend all your savings try and get it off, the more rambling they went on about you being "Lazy" the more angry and hurt you were

You then ran up the stairs and stuffed your face into the pillow and cried softly were you not working hard enough? After all the bruises cuts and money worth nothing? Were you actually Lazy? Thoughts swirled around your head and you lost your appetite you didn't feel like sleeping with them so you grabbed a pillow and blanket and slept in the guest room for tonight, you locked the door making sure they wouldn't barge in

Suddenly a knock on the door alerted you "Hey baby you there why are you in the guest room?" Kiri asked concern filling his voice but you ignored him getting the pillow and putting it on your head, Kiri tried a few more times getting more worried for you so he quickly ran down to get Katsuki about the situation "hèy blast y/n locked herself in the guest room... I think they're ignoring me" katsuki rolled his eyes while brushing his teeth getting ready for bed

"She's probably in her "dramatic bitch phase moods" or whatever she calls it she'll prob get over it in the morning," he said waving it off "but it feels like shes mad at us.. I think we should-" he was cut off by katsuki kissing him on the lips "El they'll be fine I'm sure of it plus she'll prob crawl back into bed without us knowing in the middle of the night now good night" katsuki pecked kiri on the cheek and jumped into bed Kiri took one last Glance in corners and slowly climbed in the bed feeling a bit empty even katsuki felt it so he clung onto Kiri but it was still empty and cold without you

The next morning they woke up and there was still no you, katsuki glanced at the space and rolled his eyes maybe you are mad.. or you woke up early to cook breakfast? Katsuki then took a shower and then got ready, you normally already had his warm dry clothes in the drawers but to his surprise, they were all soaking "Y/N!" He yelled out stomping around to hunt you down for this cruel prank but to find out you already left without their breakfast... only but a note and plain grain cereal saying "Here's your breakfast breakfast 😁"

Katsuki was stunned knowing that you would go all out making them a big breakfast with their drinks and everything decorated Kiri followed behind him yawning he glanced at the table and looked a bit worried "Katsuki what if we did make her upset" Katsuki groaned at his boyfriends whining and turn towards him "she's not mad she's probably was too lazy to do it and even if she was she can't go that far we can outlast her rebellion" he said with confidence

It's been 2 days and it's been hell you weren't lifting a finger for them and both of your boys weren't too pleased with that, katsuki wasn't used to washing clothes so he accidentally mixed the colored clothes with the white clothes which stained some of the white clothes to his annoyance, Kiri was freaking out that there was red hair dye left and he had hero meaning to go and his hair was almost turning black he begged you to go to the store but to his defeat you just stared at him and politely said no and got back to your reading

Katsuki was getting enraged by your sudden behavior so he confronted you with a beaming glare "Oi what's with this shitty attitude your pulling?" "Blasty no!" You tilted your head innocently at the 2 Men "What do you mean I'm doing something" You were about to go back to your read when Katsuki snatched the book and slammed it on the counter you glared at him "I had enough of this shitty attitude woman you have been doing less and less work each day and we're paying the consequences"

you scoffed "But is this what I am right a Lazy bum" Katsuki was about to question you about your statement but then it hit him..the memory of him and Kiri talking about you... "you heard our conversation" you looked over to him as your eyes narrow "at every single last word" Kirishima swelled up with guilt avoiding eye contact with white katsuki was still glaring

"Listen, baby, we're sorry it won-" "Oh don't give me that half ass apology you're gonna have to work for it BIG TIME" "Oh please like we deserve your forgiveness just because you're not doing much" You laughed sarcastically and got in his face

"I bet your ass wouldn't last a week without me doing the housework" "Fine winner gets to use the others credit card for the day and make them breakfast in bed for almost a week" "what!? Bakugan I dont think-" "Deal" you cut off Kirishima as you shook hands with the blond "what have I gotten into"

The next few days were hell! Most of Kiri and katsuki's colored clothes were bleached due to Kiri accidentally putting them in the colored clothes rather than putting them in the white clothes all their clothes were full of dye stains that day while you happily shopped you some clothes,

Katsuki, on the other hand, was worse he didn't have any time to make breakfast or lunch so he went on for the day cranky and hungry having to eat cheap instant ramen in his break and was questioned by fans on why was there Clear dye stain on his suit and kiri got laughed by both his friends and in the agency about his hair drooping and all black colored making his fans chased after him with questions or stating they liked his hair red which was to his annoyance

You watched as the two boys struggled with doing their jobs as you sat there secretly giggling to yourself and talking with your friends on the phone like a form to brag it to them

"Katuki im gonna apologize it's getting too much..." Kiri told Katsuki as he was struggling to mow the lawn (you also do that) "Are you kidding you giving up that easily because she was a" "No Bakugo because I know to feel what's it like its hard, look at you, your struggling to turn on the lawn mower your clothes are stained and we haven't eaten no good meals in over a week I'm tried katsuki and you are too"

katsuki stood they're quietly he didn't wanna admit but it was true it had been torture without you hell even if they kept going like this the whole house would be a disaster but not inky that their relationship would be stained and he didn't want that he truly loved you two even if he doesn't show it and he doesn't mean or intentionally wanna hurt you was he really taking it to far? That's what he made his final decision

"Fine.." Kiri turned slowly turned into smirk a bit "what was that couldn't hea-" "I SAID FINE DONT PUSH IT YOU DAMN ROCK" he chucked putting hands up in defeat "alright alright I heard you thr 1st time kats!" He chuckled as both was finding a way to make it up to you when you got home

You arrived at your home signing it's been a long day for you even tho you barely did anything you had a lot on your mind wondering was too far but were still confident that they needed to learn their lesson!, you got to your doorstep seeing a note that said "come in there's a surprised" in both Katsuki and Eljirou handwriting you raised your brow a bit but curious to know what was the surprise about

You slowly open the door revealing a fancy dinner table with all your favorite foods' petals on the floor what's next to the dish is a small gift right beside it "You look over to see both Your husbands' faces guilt written all over, you narrowed put your hands on your hips pretending to not be happy "so what's all this" katsuki sighed knowing that you were still mad at them which was reasonable "an apology i-no we're sorry for what we say I know this isn't much" you glanced I silently "but we also ran a warm bath for you with your favorite show recorded-"

you cut the men off by tackling them with a hug happy tears fllow "I COULDNT DO IT ANYMORE I HATED THIS CHALLENGE" Kiri's face was starting to swell up in tears as well "ME NEITHER" Both you and Kiri cried dramatically while Katsuki stood there genuinely smiling and chuckling a bit

"What are you laughing at blasty" glaring playfully at the blond who was on the edge of wanting to bust out laughing at his partner's dramatic performance

"Nothing" he smirked he was just glad everything was back to normal "So who wanna watch (favorite show)"

[jennaajoseph]

ㅤ ❛ Laundromat. ❜ ⸻ Jake Gyllenhaal x F!Reader.

── ﹙౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ MASTERLIST&INFO.﹚. ☆

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ SUMMARY. ⸻ Jake spots you doing your laundry.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ PAIRING. ⸻ young!jake gyllenhaal x fem!reader.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ CONTENTS. ⸻ uhhh washing machines??, Jake's cringe rizz attempts, light cursing, female reader.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ A/N. ⸻ I was watching shopgirl (2005) recently and the scene at the begining got me kinda inspired so yeah... (take the pics as the reference for his looks)

Also I've been thinking about a second part for this one cuz I have a small idea in mind.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ CREDITS. ⸻ photos - pinterest , divider - @/cafekitsune.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ﹙©jennaajoseph﹚

It was a chilly evening, and you took the opportunity to finally do your laundry since you didn't have any time to do that in the past few days.

You put your dirty clothes into the washing machine, and searched for some coins in your purse.

"Do you need change?" You heard a man's voice speaking from afar. You looked around the place, confused, until your eyes landed on the man that was sitting on the other side of the place.

"I asked if you need a change!" He said louder.

"Um, no! Thanks!" You yelled back awkwardly, and looked back into your purse.

"Okay!" He yelled back, and turned to look at the floor again.

You found a few coins, put them into the washing machine, and started it.

"You do your laundry here often?" A man's voice spoke again. You looked into his direction.

"My washing machine broke, it's my first time actually." You replied, not really sure if you should keep the conversation going.

"First times are always the worst, are they?" He replied smiling. You furrowed your eyebrows at his cringe response.

"I guess so." You whispered to yourself and sat back next to the washing machine you were using.

After a minute, you heard quiet steps approaching closer to you. "My name's Jake." he said, holding his hand out to greet you.

"y/n." You replied shortly shaking his hand.

"That's a pretty name." He smiled, leaning against the watching machine in front of you. "What a pretty lady like you is doing here all by herrself?"

"Laundry?" You looked at him confused.

"Good point." He whispered, looking around the place.

Your gaze dropped on the floor again as you two sat in silence for a bit, you — waiting for your laundry to be done, and to finally get away from him, and him — trying to think of something to say to keep the conversation going.

"Where do you work?" He asked suddenly, and you looked up again.

"I work in a small shop with gloves and other accessories for women."

"Yeah, that's nice." He smiled. "You are very pretty by the way."

"Thanks."

Jake noticed that his washing machine finished the laundry and quickly went back to his "spot". You sighed tiredly, praying that your laundry will be finished soon. After a while, he comes back, scratching the back of his head. "Do you have, maybe, some change I can borrow?"

"What?" You looked up at him.

"Uh, my clothes are still damp, and I don't have any on me right now." He chuckled awkwardly patting his pockets.

You raised your eyebrow and looked into your purse. He literally asked if you needed change before. Jake looked at you patiently as you handed him the rest of your coins. "You're a life saver, thank you y/n." He said as he turned back to his dryer.

You pitched the bridge of your nose, suddenly hearing the familiar sound, meant that your laundry is done.

"Fucking finally." You whispered to yourself and put all the clothes in your laundry basket. When you were about to leave Jake quickly approached you.

"Hey, thanks for your help, here's the rest." He held his hand out to give you the rest of the coins, but you declined. "Keep them, it's okay."

"You sure?" He put his hands into his pockets.

"I'm sure."

He smiled at you. "Thanks again, you are very nice."

"It's really not a problem, it's just some money, really." You replied struggling to keep the basket in your hands.

"Do you need help, maybe?" He asked pointing at the basket.

"No it got it-" He cut you off by grabbing your basket quickly.

"It's okay, I got it." He smiled.

"But your laundry is still in the dryer I think?"

"Yeah, it can wait, where do you live?" He insisted.

You looked at him, confused. "Just right down the street."

"Okay, cool, let's go then." He started to walk towards the door, you were right behind him, trying to keep up with his steps.

You two were walking in silence, the town was pretty quiet today — which was weird since it's usually quite noisy.

"I don't like this town." He said suddenly.

"Why not?"

"There's lots of weird people and junkies here." He shrugged.

"You're acting like you don't look like one." You whispered to yourself quietly.

"I may look like one but I'm not. I'm a cool guy actually, don't worry." He chuckled, adjusting the basket in his hands.

You rolled your eyes at his response.

"Do you like this town?"

"It's okay."

"It's okay." He quietly repeated what you said to himself, looking at the basket.

The rest of the walk went in silence. You two finally approached your apartment, and you turned back to him. "Thanks for helping me."

He smiled widely. "It's okay, I had fun." He handed you the basket, and you just stood there for a while.

"Well, see you around I guess?"

"Oh, do you want to give me your number? So we could, you know, stay in touch maybe?" He chuckled awkwardly.

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

You didn't want to give him your number, he was just a little too weird for you, but something in him also made you want him to keep talking to you. It was probably just a need for attention. "Do you have a pen and a paper?"

"No."

You chuckled in disbelief. "Are you going to remember it then?"

"No."

"Then what do you want me to do?" You replied slightly annoyed.

"Can I come in?" He leaned slightly towards you, his hands behind his back.

"What? No-"

"Oh c'mon, you clearly see that I like you, you are really bad at reading signs. I even left my laundry for you!" He threw his hands into the air.

You stood there, looking at him with a confused look. Well, that was a quick confession.

"I can fix your washing machine." He tried again.

"You can fix a washing machine?"

"No, but I'll try."

"Okay what exactly is your point? You keep gluing to me the whole time when I was trying to do laundry, and now you want to get into my house for no reason? I'm not looking for one night stand, if that's what you want." Your tone got louder as you finally decided to speak up what's on your mind.

"Okay, I know, I may be a little weird, but i promise I'm not here to fuck you." He tried to calm you down.

"No? Because that's what it looks like." You frowned. "I'm not falling for that." You began to open your apartment door.

"y/n let me just say something..."

"Just go get your laundry and go home" You spat at him, finally walking into your apartment. When you wanted to close it, his foot quickly blocked the door. His head peaked out of the small gap.

"y/n I know how it looks like, but it's not my intention I swear!" He started. "I'm just really bad at talking to women, and I find you very, very, very attractive, and I just wanted to ask you out for dinner. I'm sorry if I sounded like a weirdo earlier." His tone got more desperate when his response continued. You opened the door further, and he gave you a pleading look. "Please just one dinner, if you don't like it, I promise I will leave and never come near you again."

You sighed and your head dropped down. "Okay." You replied like you didn't have any other choice.

"Okay?" He replied in disbelief.

"Yeah, whatever, just tell me when, and what time."

"How about I pick you up tomorrow at 8? We can walk towards my favorite restaurant." He gave you a grin.

"Sounds good."

"Really? That's amazing! Thank you y/n!" He pulled you into a tight hug.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and returned a hug. Surprisingly, it felt nice. Spending so much time alone just made you melt into the smallest drops of affection someone gave you. His hand gently caressed your back and you hummed softly at his gesture.

"I can do that all the time if you want." He chuckled.

"It just feels nice." You whispered.

"I bet it does." He smiled. "Tomorrow at 8, yeah?" He pulled you out of the hug.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I'll pick you up at 8 then." He gave you a goofy smile. "Good night, y/n." He waved at you, and began to walk away.

"Don't forget your laundry!" You yelled to him.

"I won't!" Ye yelled back, quickly walking towards the laundromat place.

"Good night, Jake." You whispered to yourself before getting into your apartment.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Hinamori can drive? How did that come about? Is she a "must follow all the rules" driver or a "hold on for dear life" driver?

Momo's posting in the living world was in a more rural area and she got started driving her neighbor's tractor for him when he got hurt and she was bored, and then the farm truck and that was FUN on the little mountain roads, so she went and got a driver's license and managed to scrape together enough cash to buy her neighbor's 20 year old P.O.S. compact, and in the span of four months went from "what's a car?" To getting heavily into maybe-not-totally-legal vehicular modifications and earning herself the nickname "Peaches The Freak" on the illicit mountain rally racing circuit for "driving like she can't die".

She didn't actually tell anyone this when she got back to soul society because she was a bit embarrassed to be so enthusiastic about such a niche interest, so nobody finds out about HOW Momo drives until she's in the human world with her boss and her co-lieutenant, and they need to transport a large number of small objects at speed and the most reasonable way to do that is in the back of a car.

"what do you MEAN you don't know how to drive? Momo gapes at Shinji and Hiyori. "You were in the living world for a whole century?!"

"THEY GOT TRAINS EVERYWHERE IT DIDN'T COME UP!" Hiyori shouts. "ITS NOT LIKE YOU KNOW EITHER!"

"No, I do." Explains Momo, getting into the driver's seat of a Subaru old enough to vote. "That's why it's so strange to me."

"SHOTGUN!" Bellowed Hiyori, leaping into the passenger seat. "Okay, it's a little weird that *I* don't know how to drive, I guess, but do you really want mirror image dingus back there out driving on the wrong side of the road, do you?"

"I'm sure he'd get the hang of it eventually!" Said Momo. "Okay, seatbelts everyone! -and gas, mirrors, seat adjustment- who was driving this car, captain Komamura? Okay, check for cops-"

"What's a seatbelt?" Asked Shinji from the backseat.

"-and we're clear!" Momo said, putting her foot down and accelerating at a speed that made the buildings stretch and streak by like they were about to enter hyperspace.

One hour and six minutes later, they reached their destination, having reached a top speed of 193 mph, Hiyori discovering the female version of a terrorboner, and Shinji discovering what it feels like to be a lone sock in the washing machine during the spin cycle.

[sir-fenris]

This is a short scene inspired by this post of @floral-comet-whump 's whump ask game.

"Agreeing to be your handler was the worst mistake I've ever made..." + living weapon + "You're lyi-...no, you're not. This is why, isn't... isn't it?")

Content: living weapon whumpee, handler whumper, whumper-turned-caretaker, kind of whump recovery, domestic comfort, institutionalized whump, mentioned surgery recovery, past dehumanization.

"Agreeing to be your handler was the worst mistake I've ever made," Caretaker says in the silence of the kitchen while peeling the potatoes deftly, eyes focused on the task.

Whumpee huffs with a forced grin. Why did Caretaker bring that up after so long? "You're lyi-" They cut themselves off once Caretaker's looks up in their eyes. "... No, you're not. This is why, isn't... isn't it?"

There has never been an actual explanation to why Caretaker had taken them out of the institution. To why Whumpee was now living with them. Whumpee has always believed this was a different type of decommission; they were no longer needed as a weapon, so they were kept as a pet, or maid.

But Caretaker has never actually asked them to do house chores like a maid, the two of them always did all of it together.

Whumpee still chose to keep the pet-maid narrative in their head. It was what made sense.

But looking back at Caretaker's face... Whumpee never felt dumber. The world cleared up all at once.

Caretaker looks down at the potatoes again, but Whumpee couldn't go back to washing dishes while they speak. "Taking you out of there was the only thing I could do. I thought I was going to take care of a machine. Not..." Caretaker trails off, though they remain calm and expressionless as always.

"...Not a sentient being," Whumpee completes quietly.

"Not a sentient being," Caretaker agrees, putting the last potato on the bowl. "Since the day you woke up from the arm surgery, I... couldn't ignore how you seem to feel pain as much as a human. How taking care of you and taking care of sick humans weren't so different."

Whumpee stayed silent as Caretaker got up calmly and put the potato bowl next to the other ingredients while still speaking, "Ever since then, I started noticing all the little details I had been ignoring before. And ever since, I regretted agreeing to the job more than I regretted anything in my life."

"Why are you telling me this?" Whumpee interrupts the monologue, eyebrows furrowed and eyes searching. They weren't sure what was the feeling in their chest, but it made it hard to breathe. Perhaps if they were a human, they would know what it was.

Caretaker looks at them again, but turns away just as quickly as before, starting to cut the ingredients. "Because you still look at me like your handler. Like I'll decomission you if you don't do something." They reach to the sink, closing the tap water, that had been running until now. "Don't waste water."

The casual way in which Caretaker was treating this talk was unsettling. Whumpee couldn't stop staring, couldn't go back to washing dishes, nor worry about the water waste. Caretaker had taken them out because of guilt, not because they were decommissioned.

"... And what will happen if I don't do something, then?" Comes the quiet question.

"It will not get done until I see it and do it," Caretaker says nonchalantly, cutting carrots in a steady rhythm of the knife hitting the wood. "But if you slack off on everything, I might not get everything done, and the house will start to become a mess."

"What will happen to me?" Whumpee emphasizes.

"You will live in a dirty and messy house," Caretaker answers without actually answering what they knew Whumpee meant. With the uncomfortable silence, they sigh. "That's all. Nothing else would happen. I'll ask you to help out, but I won't force you or punish you if you don't."

"You did it before. Both things," Whumpee whispers, and immediately tenses up with his bold words.

But Caretaker doesn't seem to care at all. "Yeah, I did. But I won't again. I'm no longer your handler."

"...What are you, then?" Whumpee asks.

Caretaker stops, slowly rests the knife on the wood board. "I'm Caretaker. Just that."

"And what am I?"

"You're Whumpee."

"Just that?" Not a weapon, not a pet, not a maid, not a slave, not a machine, not a number. Just their name? Just themselves?

"Yeah," Caretaker breathes out and gives a nod for Whumpee to keep washing dishes before going back to cutting ingredients,

"Just that."

-

[alien-girl-21]

Since I won't see my friends until next year, I thought it would be a perfect time to do this again

Joker out and käärijä as random shit my friends say!!

(+ sneaky joost in one entry)

Under the cut because it's LONG

Kris: I actually miss Bojan, i'm going to tell him to come back from New York... but don't tell him I said that, it might get to his head that I actually like him

-

Bojan: writes on the board

Jan: is that arabic?

-

-Bojan's first time taking money out of the atm-

Bojan: what do I do now?

The screen of the atm: please select the language of your transaction

Martin: choose Slovenian, idiot

-

-at the airport-

Bojan: I'm going to get a pamphlet real quick

Jan: sure, I'll wait here

Bojan, coming back empty handed: I think I fell in love

-

Kris: in bojan's defense —not to defend him— but in his defense

-

Nace: hey, you wanna share this cookie?

Jan: sure

Nace: it doesn't break though, I already ate my half

Jan: you're an idiot, of course it can break, here, see? I broke it

Bojan: I ship you guys

-

Jan: -breaks a chair-

Jan: fuck, let me fix it -breaks the chair even more-

Jure: try to put the thing in that hole

Jan: -fixes the chair- Bob the builder 😎

-

(In the gc)

Jere: you want go party?

Bojan: I can't

Bojan: i'm sick and don't want to get worse

Kris: if Bojan isn't going, I'm not going

Jure: no fucking way 🤣

Bojan: I had to read that twice

Bojan: I was about to call him a bitch

-

Allu: if someone was killed while we were together, I think that Jesse, Jukka, and Jere would be the most level headed one's

Jesse: I think that Jere would be the one in charge to calm us

Jere: I would be making jokes like "at least we're better than that guy" and pointing at tommi's dead body

-

Jure: might go to this -shows a flyer for a singles only cruise-

Nace: only 99 euros? That's cheap... when is it?

Bojan: aren't you taken?

Nace: Oh fuck, I am

Bojan: apologize now

Nace, taking his phone out: I'm so sorry, babe

-

-during esc-

Bojan: okay, we're next, we can do this

Nace: -starts doing push ups for some fucking reason-

-

Jere: i go on stage now

Bojan: NOOO— i mean, YESSS

Jere: ?

Bojan: i'm just used to you leaving me alone :(

-

Jure and bojan: playfighting

Jure: now it's your turn, jan!

Bojan: jan wouldn't do that to me because he respects me 😌

Jan, getting ready to slap bojan:

-

(In spanish because there is no way to translate this dad joke)

Bojan: antes de que se me olvide, les quería contar un chiste: donde nacen las computadoras?

Jure: no sé

Bojan: en el mar

Nace: por qué?

Jan: porque navegan

Bojan: porque son peces

Kris: miren a los tremendos payasos que nos cargamos en esta banda

Bojan: 🥰

-

Host: for this, we're going to need groups of 6

Joker out: does a group hug

Bojan, tapping jere's arm: jere, jere

Jere: what?

Bojan: join us

Jere: really? Me? 🥰

Bojan: yes, you, you're part of the group 🥰

Kris: can you two stop?

-

Kris: do you have a pen?

Bojan, handing him a rainbow pen: yeah

Kris: gay pen

Bojan: at least it works

Kris: faggot

Bojan: I am! You have a problem with that?

Kris: I was talking to the pen! Not you!

-

Interviewer: Who would survive the longest in a deserted island?

Everyone: Jure

Bojan: I could survive, I think

Kris: I think that a coconut would fall on your head and you would die

-

Jesse: if a girl asked to peg you, what would you say?

Häärijä: no

Jere: skill issue

-

While watching a football game, in the gc:

Jan: well, i'm going to wait for the game to start while eating my cereal

Bojan: now I want some

Jan: the small box costs 2 euros in the supermarket

Bojan: you know what? I'm going to the supermarket now, i'm going to spend money because of you

Jan, sending a pic of the cereal box: here it is for reference 👍🏻

-

Bojan, after turning the washing machine on and somehow there was a power outage in the whole floor at the same time: ☹

Martin: hey, don't worry, it wasn't your fault, bojč

The electrician, a couple of days later: yeah, so, the outage was caused because someone used too much electricity in this apartment while someone was showering in the unit next to this one

Martin: so it was your fucking fault

-

Jan: I photoshopped us into some world cup images

Nace: it looks like Messi is kissing you, Bojan

Bojan: yeah

Jure: that's your dream right? Messi kissing you?

Bojan: yeah 🥰

-

Someone: yeah, so I spoke with the director, and he asked me if I spoke dutch and I said yeah

Jure: can you speak duch to us?

Someone, in dutch: I can, but what can I say? I just learned it to learn it, not because I liked it

Jan: okay, okay, Kris, it's your turn, reply in Dutch!

Jure: like we practiced

Bojan: literally jumping up and down like an excited puppy

-

Kris: this is bullshit, stupid fucking coordinators, they have shit in the fucking head instead of a stupid brain!

Jan: said the princess

-

-while playing volleyball-

Jure: just imagine the ball is your ex!

Bojan, cradling the ball in his arms: i'm so sorry, it was all my fault, I miss you everyday

Jan: great job, idiot

-

Nace: you look really good today, Bojan

Kris: yeah, your outfit is really well color coordinated

Bojan: thank you, krisko

Nace: and what about me?

Bojan: it's because Kris only bullies me, so a compliment from him matters more

-

Jure: idk if I'll be able to go out this Saturday, my parents are starting to make milk, and because of that I need to close their shop that night

Kris: making milk?

Jure: soy milk, yeah

Kris: Oh, I was about to ask since when did your parents have cows

Nace: moo

Jan: moo

^ they proceed to moo at each other for the next five minutes while the conversation carries on

-

Jere, just minding his business:

Häärijä, handing him a paper crown: you are now the queen of this realm

Jere: ❓

Häärijä: you will be the queen until we vote on who will be coronated next

Jere: thanks?

Häärijä: my pleasure, your majesty

-

Kris: I actually didn't call any of my exes while I was drunk last night, that's a great achievement!

-

Jere: hey guys, sorry if you hear me swearing, i'm playing a videogame..... FUCKING BULLSHIT

-

Jesse, after jere got the piña colada tattoo: hey can I see your prision tattoo?

-

Nace: remember to participate in the meeting

Bojan: i'm watching football

Nace: they're asking you a question bojč

Bojan: GOAAALLL!!!!!

-

Bojere, sitting chest to back in a bench:

Jan:

Bojan: Oh Jan, sorry that we're facing away from you

Jere: you want to hug me too? Join train?

Jan: yeah sure, let me just—

Jere: no! Don't touch me!

-

Kris: I would like to go back in time to meet Jesus and smoke weed with him

-

Käärijä: so, I'm walking to get to work, and I see a line of police cars and I'm thinking "I fucking hope that they don't want to do spontaneous searching because my bag is 90% weed, 10% my actual stuff"

-

Someone: yeah, this is my daughter, she's 4 and learning how to play drums

Bojan: that's your daughter? Oh my gosh 🥺

Kris: Bojan, you have a severe case of baby fever

-

Jere: where are the bathrooms?

Jukka, craning jere's head up to see the giant "TOILET" sign above them: over here

-

Kris: would you be with a guy?

Bojan: I'm bisexual, of course

Kris: what? 😱

Bojan: I already told you, you know this!

Kris: WHAT??

-

Joost, in the middle of having sex: babe wait, codnom broked :(

-

Kris: do you guys think the bouncer will let me in? I'm kind of tipsy

Jan: just go in confidently, he won't suspect a thing

Bojan: the last time he went in confidently he was banned from the club

-

Jan: so, how'd you sleep last night?

Kris: good

Jan: you don't seem so convinced

Kris: I slept in late

Jan: how late?

Kris: midnight

Jan: Oh, how blasphemous, how late

-

Kris, anytime they go to a new city: look at this door! I'm too tall to fit in it... look at this other door! I'm also too tall to fit in it... look at this door!

-

Bojan, about stephanie: she's the world cup and i'm bolivia.... but hopefully I'll be bolivia in '94 and she will still be the world cup

-

Jan: I'm not like Jesus, at all

Bojan: well, you kind of are in some ways

Kris: yeah, you only hang out with fags and prostitutes

Bojan, pointing at them: here you have three fags

Bojan, pointing at jure: and there's a prostitute

-

Jesse: why are you leaving everything for last minute?

Jere: because I fucking want to and I fucking can 😝

Häärijä, holding up the printed meme: 🐴🤝🏻🐴 no pelien

-

During a post-barcelona pre-party meeting:

Kris: I think that's all for today

Bojan: typing very loudly

Jan: who are you talking to?

Bojan: with someone 🥰 you know him already

Nace: ohhh the lovebirds 😏

Bojan: raising his hand up repeatedly

Kris: yes, Bojan?

Bojan: I'm really happy 🥰🥰 -instantly goes back to typing-

Kris: I'm happy for you, man

-

Jere after inflating five balloons for a party: well, my job here is done, time for my very well deserved rest

Jesse: get back up, you fuck, we need to move these chairs

-

Häärijä: bartender! Bartender! Bartender!!

Jere: I'm here, what do you want?

Häärijä: hi :) -leaves-

-

Bojan: sometimes I feel like I am batman and žare is the riddler

-

Jukka: you guys would be the worst clowns at a kid's birthday party. They would ask you for swords, and you would give them snakes

-

Kris, after seeing Jure having a sugar crash: someone give him a fucking celery or something, he's fucking melting on the couch!

-

Jere: you live life like it's last day, say sorry to people, hug people, even punch if you have to punch!

All of joker out: raising their fists to punch bojan

-

Jere: we only had a 5 euro budget for this secret santa so I bought one chocolate bar

Allu: it's not even wrapped!

Jere: wrapping paper is expensive!

-

During the secret santa:

Allu: I'm so fucking scared of seeing who jere got

Jere: so I had to buy something for...... Jesse!

Jesse: FUCK!

[euniexenoblade]

I may have asked you this before, and I'm really sorry, so I'm gonna be on anon for this. I. hate. cleaning. I've always hated cleaning. I just...have some strange aversion to cleaning. When I'm elsewhere, I clean just fine. But when it's my own stuff and area...I just avoid it for as long as possible. Executive dysfunction really sucks. What advice do you have that you can give me?

Executive dysfunction is tough, because it's really really hard to get around sometimes. Nothing I say will be a sure fire way to get through it, but I hope something I say can be helpful.

First of all, do not expect that you'll clean the whole house or anything. Just focus on a small amount at a time. Doesn't even have to be a whole room. Make it like, "today I will take care of x in the bathroom." It'll be so much easier. Maybe do like, one task a day if possible, and allow yourself to not keep up with that. You're allowed to skip chores, it's not the end of the world.

I like to open up the windows and let sunlight in, I also really like to blast music (or headphones if need be) and just go for it. I approach it like a jog, activity i need to power through and music is the energy. Serious about that sunlight, it wakes you up and brightens the mood.

As I said, start small. Is there garbage in your room? Pick it up and throw it out. There you go, there's one task. You can call it done there if you want. Do you have dishes scattered around your room? Pick em up and put them in the sink. There you go! A whole new task completed!

If the trash needs to go out, take it out when you leave the house. On your way to work? Take the trash out on the way. Gonna check the mail? Take the trash out.

Dishes can be daunting but if you break it into smaller tasks it can be a lot more manageable. When I'm at my girlfriend's house I tend to do the dishes immediately following the meal. (This is largely cuz they have so few dishes in general and so they're available when we want to eat next buuuut) This makes it so dishes don't stack up. Washing one bowl and one spoon and maybe a pan is a lot less work than a collected stack. You could also just load dishes into a dishwasher (assuming you have one) as you go. A lot of people don't do this which kinda always surprises me, but if you finish your meal, immediately when getting up, put the dishes in the dishwasher. No wait. Just do it. Dishes can't stack if they're already in the machine that's going to clean them.

Executive dysfunction is really hard to get around sometimes, and I'm sorry if none of this actually helped. But, with a lot of things with low energy or depression, you gotta kinda just make yourself do it. I know that seems redundant, "I can't make myself do it that's why it's a problem" but it is genuinely true. Sometimes you gotta just force it to happen. It's ok not to always be on top of everything. It's ok if today you just can't do it. It's ok if there are things you can't do and need help. Don't beat yourself up over it, that's not gonna help. Remember that it's ok to take breaks and not finish tasks.

Reward yourself. After you do the thing, do something you like. Eat chocolate, watch that show you've been waiting for, get high, whatever you want. (I like to take a big hot bath with a lush bath bomb, it's a great reward hehe~)

Buy a maid uniform, lots of people have told me that helps them power through chores :)

I don't know if any of that will help, but I hope it does.

Also, while I'm doing this, back on my last blog I wrote a post in reply to an ask of "how exactly do I clean my room" and I haven't been able to find it. So I think it'd be good to recreate it here. This is a lot more intensive, so anon plz don't feel inclined to do any of this. This is entirely for if people have the energy and ability, a bit closer to what I do.

Put on music. Absolutely the most important thing is having fun with it. Put on that song you like to sing along to, or that song you like to dance to, get yourself some energy. Jam the fuck out.

This is big optional, so feel free to skip this one if you don't want to do it. If you have a ceiling fan, wipe the top of the blades. Dust collects there even if you've been using it. But, if you haven't been using it, you don't want to knock all that dust down when you finally do. Go get yourself a duster for like $5 somewhere. If you just can't do that I'd recommend using a dry rag (always use dry things for dusting).

Do you have any dirty clothes? Whether in a hamper or on the floor, pick them up first and get the washer going, do the rest while the washer runs.

Get a trash bag. Do you have any trash in your room? Empty bottles, cans, wrappers, paper, any trash whatsoever: pick it up and put it in the bag.

Do you have any dishes laying around? Pick them up now and put them in the sink.

Wipe down any surfaces that might be dusty. Again, duster or dry rag. You can use paper towels if you want but I feel they're not very good for this task. Now wipe down any that might be dirty, from trash, dishes or whatever. Wet paper towel is allowed if you have no alternative, wet rag is probably better, lysol wipes tend to be my preference, if you're really fancy then you can get specific cleaners for wood and stuff (I wouldn't worry about this if all your shits cheap Ikea or Walmart though).

Whenever the washer finishes, of course move it to the dryer, but also put your bedding in the wash. You're cleaning the whole room, there's no way there isn't gunk on your bedding. This bit is kinda predicated on being able to wash/dry whenever you want. if you're reliant on a laundromat, edit this to whatever makes sense to you.

If you have carpet, I'd recommend to vacuum now. If you don't have a vacuum, no shame but I do recommend them. I wouldn't recommend a Dyson even though they look and seem cool, if you want a decent vacuum just stick to the normal top brands and you'll be fine. If you want one but don't have much money, get one of those small hand ones. If you have a hard floor, swiffer that shit.

You are largely done! Sometimes things may not be this easy but try your best with what you have and it'll be fine. Even doing just one of these things will feel good afterwards. Feel free to take breaks, to stop all together, reward yourself when you're done. It's just cleaning your room, don't think of it as a big deal.

[seat-safety-switch]

Just like ducks, you can't trust a push scooter. Designed originally for proletarian aims, these overgrown skateboards are an accident waiting to happen. Despite their lack of control, missing suspension, and predilection for throwing you over the handlebars into a life-altering head injury, folks put a powerful electric motor on them. And then they started to get actually kinda good.

A few months ago, I was on the highway. I looked over, briefly, and noticed that the bicycle path running parallel to the highway had someone enjoying a push scooter. I thought nothing of it, until I looked over again, and noticed that the scooter was still keeping up with me. Clocking triple digits on a multi-use municipal pathway? Now that was something I had to see for myself.

After a visit to the library to use their internet access, I found out all about them. In case you're curious, the computer at my house comes with too many court-ordered restrictions, but those restrictions don't apply to my alter-ego, Manfred P. Guy-I-Found-The-Library-Card-Of-In-The-Trunk-Of-A-1996-Grand-Am-At-The-Junkyard. I think that last name is Polish, or something. Lots of consonants. Once I had absorbed all the information I could before the chief librarian chased me out for once again smearing Lucas Red & Tacky No. 2 machine grease onto the keyboard while typing, it was off to the local classifieds to get ahold of a death scoot of my very own.

Here's a fun fact about most cars: they have a lot of accessory belts. Those accessory belts can hold a lot of horsepower before they snap, well in excess of the amount that my wheezy economy slant-six can actually make. If you were to add, say, twelve or thirty scooters' worth of batteries and motors to that belt drive, why, you'd finally have enough power to get up Old Man Hill without having to downshift. Which is good, because usually I have to turn my car off for at least fifteen minutes before it will do that.

And there's more benefit, too: after washing the blood off, the remaining parts of the scooters are still useful as scooters. I ended up selling them to a bunch of electric-vehicle degenerates who were happy to add their own Wish.com battery packs and motors to turn them back into electric scooters. Now that's how we'll save the environment: recycling.

[flowery-mess]

Midnights of October🍁🧡🎃

October 28th

Family beach day [boydad!Noah]

warnings: parenthood, Noah as a dad, I think that's it

taglist: @concreteangel92 @sorrowsofsilence @lma1986 @stardustsirenmelody @dream-machine-love @mrsnoahsebastian (let me know if you want to be tagged or deleted!😊)

Midnights of October masterlist

*

Do you remember the videos of Noah from summer festivals where he was fighting for his life with the sun, turning red through the whole set?

That's the same scenario in this case

See the thing is I'd be just the same, and what's the fun in that, so let's say reader is good at tanning

So in the morning you pack things for you, Noah and Milo, making sure you pack his favorite things to play with and his favorite snack

You call for Noah and Milo to come downstairs

When Noah comes down the stairs with Milo in his hands you see them having matching hats that you bought them last summer

They also have matching smiles on their faces

"Told you I know where to find them." Noah said with a proud smirk, after you argued about who washed them last and where did they put it

"We're matching mommy!" Milo said with excitement

"We are, we should buy mommy one too." said Noah and Milo started nodding his little head

"No babe, you two need them so your faces don't turn into tomatoes the second you step out of the house." you winked at them

When you arrived at the beach you found a spot to lay your blanket down, close to the sea, but also close to the trees so you can have Noah and Milo in shade

Actually beach day for you is like a relax day, because Noah and Milo can spend the whole day in the sea or building sand castles, eat snacks and maybe take a nap

Before you send them off to do their thing you make sure Milo has sunscreen on, his full body swimming suit on and his floatie ready

Then you move over to Noah, applying sunscreen on his body as well, because if you won't do it, nobody will

Noah complains every time, but he's thankful every time he leaves without a sunburnt

When him and Milo go alone or with the rest of the boys, he always comes home with red face and shoulders

And you enjoy every "I told you." you can give him

They both run into the water and you lay comfortably on the blanket

You watch them splash water at each other, every splash followed by their laughs

Milo's favorite thing is when Noah throws him in the air

While reading your book you always hear Milo's scream and then splash

After some time in water they run back to you, in silence, so they can lay on top of you

First you feel Noah's wet and cold body, then you feel bit more added weight from Milo's body

"We got you mommy!" you hear Milo

You just laugh at their playful behavor

Then you eat some snacks together and listen to Milo's babbling

And then comes the most serious part of the day

Sandcastles!

They both build one and then you decide who's the winner

You'd think Noah would never get offended that you always choose Milo's, for obvious reasons, but he gets sad and then you have to tell him his castle was better in bed when you go to sleep

After doing the hard job of a juror you all go into water one more time before you leave

Milo always takes something home with him, rock, shell or one time he took fish home

He didn't tell you, you found it back home and it lived for like 3 days

On the way back home in car you watch Milo through the rearview mirror in the towel that has bunny ears on the hood

Then you squeeze back Noah's hand that sits gently on your thigh and wish that you could spend every Sunday like this

[garaksapprentice]

Remembrance

I started this weave last year, the day after TDOR, and the day of the Pulse nightclub attack. My heart was heavy, and I needed a way to redirect a whole bunch of feelings about a thing I couldn't do anything about.

The warp and weft both came from several balls of a 5 ply acrylic knitting yarn, one that had been given to me in one of those many small "I don't know what else to do with this" moments that happen when people know that 1) you're a knitter and 2) you'll happily collect donations and pass them on to various local organisations if you can't use them yourself.

I'd looked at them and immediately went "that's a trans pride bundle of colours if ever I saw them," then put them in the stash and let them percolate. (I don't knit with 5 ply much, I already had more than enough projects that needed finishing, and I had no idea what pattern would do justice to the vague idea I had. Sometimes things need to compost a while before you can grow anything from them.)

I originally wanted to do a heart twill. After a bit of thought, mostly centred around my lack of experience, I went with a diamond twill instead. This was the first project on my new-to-me floor loom, and the diamond twill was more straightforward. Plus, counterbalance looms don't deal well with unbalanced shafts - the heart twill pattern I had put more of the threads on the back shaft than any of the others, and I didn't have the headspace or the experience to flip the draft so they'd be on the front one instead.

It took me eight days to wind the warp, beam it, thread the heddles, sley the reed, and tie on. (I wasn't tracking project hours back then so I don't know how long those things actually took, all up.) I'd started on the twenty-first, and was threading the heddles by Sunday 27th. On the 30th, I started weaving.

According to my project notes, I only actually wove for eight days between getting the loom warped and cutting the finished fabric off. Given the thickness of the threads, that seems about right - I'd roughly guess at six or seven hours of weaving time over a ~2.3m warp?

After that it was a matter of wet finishing (wool setting in the washing machine), trimming off the loom waste, and doing double folded hems at each end (I am Not A Fan of fringe).

Is it perfect? Hell no; there's at least two threading errors and the beat changes from start to finish. But it's soft, and warm, and it's full of the hope and productive anger that I managed to find after the beat of the loom helped me climb out of the pit of helpless despair.

[greeneyedsigma]

More Ghosts!

Elias, on the phone: Where are you?

Merrick: I told you, I’m at work

Elias: I’m at work. You are nowhere to be found. Please tell me you’re not at Chuck E. Cheese again.

*skee ball machine alarm goes off in the background*

**

Hesh: Do you have a bobby pin?

Merrick: Yeah. *slaps hands against his head*

Merrick: Oh, no, wait. I’m not a nine-year-old girl.

Logan: Yeah, that’s the problem.

**

Merrick: I'm at a loss for words!

Hesh: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Merrick proceeded to yell at me for the next 45 minutes.

**

Kick: What did you get Keegan for his birthday?

Hesh: I got him a kitten.

Kick: Really? Me too!

Elias: I also got him a cat.

Logan: Looks like we all had the same idea.

Hesh: Merrick, please tell me you didn't get Keegan a cat as well!

Merrick: ...I got him a kitten.

*later*

Keegan, laying on the floor in his apartment covered by cats and kittens: This is the best birthday ever.

**

Keegan: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.

Elias: Well, that was entirely predictable.

Keegan: One of them punched a gang member.

Elias: Merrick?

Keegan: Logan, actually.

Elias: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.

**

Logan, acting tough: You guys don't want to mess with me.

Hesh: Yeah, Logan will straight up cry in public. Don't try him.

Logan: Exactly, I will straight up-

Logan:

Logan, tearing up: Hesh, why would you say that?!

**

Merrick: My expectations were low but holy fuck

**

Hesh: Hey, Dad?

Elias: Yeah?

Hesh: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Elias:

Elias: Where’s Logan?

**

Elias: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?

Keegan: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Logan, deer!"

Elias: ...And what did Logan do?

Keegan: ...He said "Yes, Honey?"

**

Hesh: Hey guys, today Logan pushed me, so I'm starting a kickstarter to put him down.

Hesh: The benefits of killing him are that I would get pushed way less.

[fuck-customers]

Sorry this is WAY longer than I thought it was gonna be, but I apparently have a lot more to complain about than I thought.

I have this coworker, T, who just fucking hates me for literally no fucking reason ?? The only thing I can think of is that I'm engaged to someone else she doesn't like in the store, and I ask her to take like. a single step more so I know that the dishes she's sometimes fucking THROWING at me are actually dirty and not going to be reused.

It started with my fiance (whose a manager, taking a demotion soon but still gonna be higher than regular crew) like. having to go wash his hands before serving a customer, and he looked over to T, who wasn't doing anything, jerked his head back at the line, and was like 'can you take over that?'. he only jerked his head because his hands were covered in soap and water, and he's not gonna be flinging that towards food?

BUT APPARENTLY him asking her to DO HER FUCKING JOB was SO Horrible that she literally went into the hallway by the office and started SOBBING at another manager about how he's SO mean, and SO horrible, and she's just gonna quit because everyone hates her (true but we're pretty fucking nice to her considering the shit she's pulled)

And she's just hated him since. Hated a manager for telling her to do her fucking job. It's stupid.

And now, I'm here, I'm the nighttime dishwasher, and there is literally only ONE FUCKING THING I ask of my coworkers to make my life easier: take two extra fucking steps and put your dishes on my dish cart rather than on the middle prep table. And i'm being literal with two extra steps. Maybe two.

People put shit on the prep table they're planning on reusing all the time, so I can't be sure if it's ACTUALLY dirty of if they're gonna put more fuckin beans into the bean pan. So I ask of this ONE FUCKING THING in order to make it sure in my brain (autism moment lol) of what is clean and what is dirty. Some other people go above and beyond and pre-sort my dishes a bit so it's easier on my when I come in (like my fiance, who tries to pre-sort, and do some dishes himself before I get there, since technically the store is 'supposed' to run without my position at all)

One ask. It's really, genuinely, not that hard, and EVERYONE else seems fine with it. The exchange often just goes like this

they put a pan on the corner of the prep table. I glance over as they go to leave and go 'all the way over on the dish cart please'. they stop, look back, then go 'oh yeah okay' and put the dish on the cart and then DO IT EVERY TIME AFTER. it's so fuckin easy.

There are exceptions to the rule ! the dish cart isn't huge ! the hotel pans and the rice pots (and some bowls) are too damn big. I give the exception to that, ebcause if the rice pot is on the middle prep table, then it's def dirty. it never goes there otherwise.

T however just. refuses. She's so fucking bitchy about it. Like, she just walks away, and flat out ignores me when I ask. And I leave the fucking dishes there. I've gotten that okay from managers to leave it there, because I don't fucking know. It usually ends up being someone else coming back and putting it on the dishcart when they notice it's out of place. She just refuses.

She's thrown shit. at my fucking dishpit. Not from the other side of the room, but she doesn't put things down, she tosses them onto my dishcart, I hear them fucking slide. And she never says a word to me. She refuses to even ask me to move out of her way, she'll throw things around me rather than ask. I've literally been in the process of moving out of her way, ebcause I saw her coming around the corner, and she's tosses a squeegee past me rather than wait another fucking SECOND for me to squish up against the dish machine so she could get the fucking squeegee in it's right spot.

And even ! one time ! i wasn't doing dishes, I was marinating steak (a process that involves three layers of gloves, and apparently should involve goggles but we don't have those) and she came by and fuckin. tossed a lid down the prep table (where i am MARINATING UNCOOKED STEAK, AND YOU THREW A FUCKING DIRTY LID, THANK GOD IT DIDN'T TOUCH ANYTHING OR WE'D HAVE TO THROW AWAY THE FUCKING STEAK(mexican fast food build your own resturant is very strict on health things)) and I was like 'on the dish cart please!' and she looks back at me (covered in fuckin sauce, raw meat in a bowl in front of me, i literally CANT touch anything else because it's either gonna get this spicy ass marinade on other shit or contaminate my fucking gloves) and goes "You've got it :) :) :)"

and like. I was already frustrated because I wasn't even supposed to be doing steak and that just got dropped on me. and I'm a frustrated crier. So I'm crying in my fucking dishpit. Not sobbing, just angry, tears down the face, silent shit, right? And one of my managers notices, tries to ask if I'm okay, tries to help calm me down, whatever, and she asks if there's anything she can do, and I just 'Get T to respect me even the tiniest fucking bit'

and I assume that the manager went up to talk to her? because she came back at some point and was like "I don't have a problem with you, I dunno if you do, I used to with your girlfriend, but I don't, we talked it out, you can just say something to me if there's an issue" like girl have I not been doing that this whole time? and also peep the fucking misgendering of my fiance there, that I couldn't even fuckin correct cause I was so fucking overwhelmed I was nonverbal.

then same day, she somehow 'forgot' to count me into tips and didn't even offer to recount them. I missed out on tips that fucking day, because the other guy left before I could ask him, and she just :) at me about it. Laughed in my fucking face about 'forgetting' me. And the manager (same as before) doesn't even think she forgot me, and that manager is the only one that fucking LIKES T. Literally the only one. And she's sure that T did it on fucking purpose.

What's worse is managers aren't allowed to touch tips, they're not even really allowed to handle disputes about it. They're not allowed to even MENTION them. Which is stupid as fuck, but rolls my eyes, whatever. It's why I'm kinda glad my fiance is taking the demotion, cause then he's gonna be crew and he can call her bullshit tf out whenever.

Like going into work with her, I'm so fucking vigilant that she's not gonna count me in tips. I'm fully gonna be like 'well alright, let's go gather them back up and I can recount them then :3 it's alright, don't you worry your pretty little head about it, i can do it :3 I need tips after all !!!!!!!'

i hope i'm the next person she goes into the hallway and sobs about and threatens to quit. GOOD. QUIT. THE GENERAL MANAGER IS LITERALLY WAITING FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO FUCKING FIRE YOU. GET THE FUCK OUT ALREADY AND MAKE OUR LIVES A MILLION TIMES EASIER.

sorry for the length again, I just. rolls my eyes forever. T is a fucking bitch. we have like so many people eyes on the fuckin ball staring at her whenever she comes nears the tip jar. This isnt' the first time we've had problems with it, and it's to the point the GM might have to take the tip jar away from shifts she's on. Bitch.

Posted by admin Rodney