#((also i have no idea how russian works but took the last 20 minutes to google dimunitives))

[yikesharringrove]

Last episode!!

Okay! This episode had lots of ups and downs. LOTS of joe and downs.

The Steve/Nancy bullshit can literally eat shit I hate it I HATE IT

Once again the tension is constantly being ramped up, especially with the Russian team and the upside down team.

I didn’t even notice the California team wasn’t in this ep bc that’s how little I care.

There are a bunch of scenes I’ve seen as gifs that I didn’t see? Are those from teasers? Like Eddie playing his guitar in the UD?? I assume that’s to help Nancy out but I have NO idea.

Anyway this one had some good moments of return to what st used to be especially with Lucas and Dustin, but the last 20-30 minutes of pure exposition and flashbacks really sucked the life out of me. Not too sure how I feel about this ep overall

Incoherent thots:

The way Steve is literally being EATEN ALIVE by those things jesus christ. We joke abt him getting fucked up every season but this is by far the worst one. He’s alone! And so scared! And he doesn’t know his friends are coming!

That pov shot got me fucked up

Eddie yelling “kill it” while Nancy and Robin do all the work. I wanna be him when I grow up

NOT STEVE BITING THAT THING he so has rabies now.

Okay but the way he flung it against the ground by the tail 👀👀👀 okay. Aight.

Bro he TORE IT IN HALF

Me watching this scene five times:

“Well they took about a pound of flesh, but other than that. Yeah never better” love how ducked up he sounds. Also Eddie in background like jEsUs H cHrIsT

ROBIN WITH THE RABIES lmao were the same

Ooop all of them getting behind Steve

These bitches are like the Procompsognathus in Jurassic park

Oh shit that’s a little person barbecue these fuckers are CRAZY

“Promise me you won’t kill her” OBVIOUSLY this guy doesn’t give a fuck about you OR el

Do you think brenner makes the other people at the lab call him papa?

SAM OWENS FINALLY ADMITTING THAT EL IS A FRIGHTENED, TRAUMATIZED, LITTLE GIRL

I just fucking can’t with brenner he’s literally disgusting and I wish he was GONE

“This place is not a prison” THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP SEDATING HER WHEN SHE TRIES TO LEAVE

“You chose to trust me once” when? That time you kidnapped her from her mother and then tortured her mother so viscously that she was left permanently disabled? Is that when el chose to trust you?

I keep seeing in tiktok people who think number 1 is hot and bro. He’s so awful looking to me I can’t believe it

Dustin being an awful fucking liar are you kidding

“That psycho fREAK killer? Uh, no.” Dustin for president

Ted Wheeler coming in clutch suggesting the kids that ARENT HIS go to jail lmao Mrs. Sinclair looked like he was talkin out of his ass

I happen to think that Eddie’s hair should be getting bigger and more frizzy each time he’s shown. That lake water does not help with the frizz

STEVE

“I’m fine. I’m fine” DUDE YOU ARE MISSING CHUBKS OF YOUR SIDES

Robin rattling off the symptoms of rabies I love her. She really thinks her best friend is dying she’s freaking out amazing

Nancy ripping up her skirt to bandage him welcome to Rocky horror

What’s with the squelching sounds when she wrapped it around him?? Bro ew

Please know that when Steve and Nancy looked all lovey dovey at each other I booed super loud I HATE IT HERE

“Yeah you almost shot me with that one” “you almost deserved it” rip to season 1 Steve who definitely pissed himself when Nancy put that gun in his face

EDDIE STOP “fer yer modesty, dude”

Okay did everyone need to spoon up when that earthquake happened???? I fucking hate it stop it with the Steve/Nancy shit I’m on my knees I’m BEGGING

Hopper figuring out how to make a Molotov cocktail in prison he’s amazing he’s showstopping he’s incredible

“Papa, I bet that old American did most of the monster slaying” vibes

Jesus, hopper wanting el to be growing and changing and learning and meanwhile el is underground and being re-traumatized by brenner

Murray looking like he’s shitting himself in that van while lying to the guards he’s amazing

Seeing all this shit, how much brenner spoke with all the kids individually, it kinda doesn’t make sense to me why el could hardly speak or knew a lot when she got out. Like reading and writing sure, those are learned, but you learn to talk by being talked to and by talking so. Idk if this makes sense it just makes me feel a little odd. Plus the older kids have a big vocabulary so ??? What is the truth

COLLAR HIM WHAT

Good. Now we get to see the actual fucking torture DUDE BRENNER SUCKS SO HARD WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO MAKE HIM BETTER

Jesus christ what the fuck is going on

Eddie looking so distressed when Steve doesn’t get the ozzy reference I’ve seen it in so many gifs it’s incredible

(Also Steve was not engaging bc he knows ozzy and he knows that moment billy made him watch it about a thousand times on mtv but now that he’s gone, it’s a really painful memory)

YES EDDIE TELLING STEVE HOW MUCH DUSTIN LOVES HIM IM CRYING MERLIN AND I WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS

EDDIE SAYING HE WAS JEALOUS this scene fucks so hard omg

“I was too ashamed to be the only one left behind” EDDIE

EDDIE DO NOT TELL STEVE TO GET HER BACK STOP STOP STOP DO NOT FUCKING ENDORSE THIS UNHOLY UNION

Bro eddie needs to shut up fr Steve and Nancy should NOT get back together and I have so many fucking thoughts about it that it would be it’s own post entirely

Okay but I really hope they do some shit with the lights and Dustin and Lucas realize the gang is in that house that would FUCK

Dustin’s look when Erica says she’ll say what was under Lucas’s bed amazing

ERICA DIDNT KNOW THIS SHIT AFTER THE MALL??? Nobody filled her in????

Vecna opened it up obv

Okay but this Dustin and Lucas scene of them riffing off each other and figuring it out is so so good this is what I missed from stranger things this is what I loves about seasons 1 and 2

YES I SEE THAT LIGHT FLICKERING THATS YOU UPSIDE DOWNERS

STEVE IS THE ONE THATS GONNA FIGURE OUT HOW TO TALK TO DUSTIN AND LUCAS

Okay but the upside down being stuck in time of three years ago kind of fucks

Meanwhile Steve’s just screaming downstairs

“Maybe he really does have rabies” VIBES

I’m???? The magic around the lights is big time cheesey tbh

“Does anyone know Morse code?”

“Does sos count? Is that-is that good?” WHAT DO YOU THINK, DARLING????? Eddie is QUICKLY becoming a blorbo. (Except for that painful moment where he told Steve to get with Nancy but he wasn’t thinking right)

It’s not Vecna it’s your besties dw

I think they just should’ve had eddie touch the light the red magic shit looks really dumb to me

This shot in the Russian prison is BANANAS I’m freaking out

HOPPER HES THERE HES RIGHT THERE

Horse plinko

Not these MEAN MUGS the older kids have going on this is so funny to me

Why is this chess set so weird and ornate

Fucking brenner I just hate HATE him

I don’t trust brenner I don’t trust #1 I don’t trust anyone here

Lucas and Dustin fucking yeeting the lite brite and Erica giving her candy lmao

Eddie going “HI” and Steve like 🙄🫤🤨

Dustin: “We think we have a theory that can help with that”

Robin: “genius child”

“His tone, right” love LOVE him

“Honestly shouldn��t have gone with her first. She’s like, kinda mean” CALLAHAN

Callahan coming up the stairs going “oh little pigs, oh little pigs” like dude you’re the cop.

ERICA SLASHED THE TIRE FOR FUCKS SAKE SHES AMAZING

NOT THE TRANSITION FROM THE KIDS TO THE UPSIDE DOWN GANG

What song would save you from being vecna’d? I think mine would be crazy frog.

Is this really how she escaped??? I kinda wish that her escape was just always left a mystery tbh but this way is actually big time anticlimactic

Oh fuck the tracker in his neck made me SICK to look at

See in these flashbacks el has one hell of a vocabulary but we know that when she meets up with the boys she doesn’t know the word promise

HES MAKING A FLAMING SPEAR that’s so sexy aaaahahah

“The Americans are very tricky” in that super exaggerated American accent VIBES

Holy god the lighter being out of fuel

THE MOMENT THE DEMOGORGON FUCKING SPRINTS OUT OF THE DARKNESS I watched it three times at half speed so good

(Still wish this bitch was practical though)

This is the goriest scene in st so far and I wish it was MORE

“I gotta hand it to you commies. You’re committed” Murray’s karate is my favorite thing to come out of this season. He’s out here like billy zabka but not fucking painful

Not Joyce pressing all the fucking buttons queen shit

DUDE THE SPEAR THROW RIGHT JN ITS FUCKING FACE OH MY GOD

THEY DINT KNOW THAT JOYCE IS THERE OH SHIT this reunion is gonna make me cry with the slo mo

Okay but hopper at first not realizing what’s going on and then holding her back and smiling into the top of her head I’m freaking out

Okay but lowkey the look of (guys specifically) wearing long pants that aren’t fitted around the ankle and no shoes is one of my least favorite things ever and it always has been

THE KIDS

This is kinda cool with the gate in the ceiling and the mirrored shots of the trailer and the kids looking at the upside down gang

So he’s just manipulating el to get rid of the thing that makes him not lose his marbles

Cool

So it’s NOT how she got out okay nvm

El, You’re surprised?? I’m fucking not

That’s where she learned the ol’ neck snapper though

And he’s number one I fucking called it

Wait this is trippy with the rope going through the ceiling. Gravity’s about to get real weird

“Those stains are, uh, I don’t know what those stains are” KING SHIT

WHAT that’s so cool it’s sustained between them that’s awesome

Every time I see the Dio logo on the back of the denim vest I think it says Djo lol

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

Oh christ the pool

This is so spicy for Nancy (imagine if it had been Steve though that would fuck to explore his guilt)

SO BARB WQS TAKEN BY VECNA???

Oh that’s some gross shit from the pool. Once again, I called the pool being filled with gross black shit in my powers!steve fic lol

No wait OF COURSE el hasn’t escaped yet this is like 1979 or some shit

He’s Vecna. #1 is totally Vecna

So is this why the upside down is always trying to kill 11? WAIT IN SAESON 3 BILLY/MINDFLAYER SAID HE WAS BUILDING AN ARMY FOR HER yeah it’s bc vecna is weirdly obsessed with her

Okay but what does the creep house have to do with vecna? Like why is it there that he set up shop and his psychic link is through that

OH THATS FUCKING WHY HES THE KID WHAT WHAT WHAT

Oh it’s all coming together

As a certified Spider Kid his obsession with these big fucking black widows is ????

“They, like me, are solitary creatures and deeply misunderstood. They are gods of our world.” GOD SHUP YOURE SO ANNOYING

He’s literally the worst. And people like this character??? He’s painful

He fucking SUCKS

You know most serial killers start out with animal cruelty

“She despised me for it.” NO SHE JUST REALIZES THAT YOURE A KILLER AND YOUVE GOT A FUCKED UP CIEW OF THE WORLD

This whole flashback is too much exposition tbh

Brenner did all those tattoos?? That’s lowkey impressive

This is big time fucked up

Those fucking slipper shoes are so weird just have them in socks or barefoot

001 to me is what billy is to the rest of the fandom

The way I absolutely can’t stand him

These last 20 have really lost me tbh

Oh GROSS

Not only did El essentially banish him to the UD she also skinned him

WHY does it look like he’s falling to super hell

THE REAL HORSE PLINKO

Knew it

[tf2-hellhole]

First kiss with the mercs beloved s/o headcannons please. Also I love your work a lot it inspires me greatly!!

Thank you, I’m glad you’re enjoying my work!!!!

ft. my inability to keep a consistent verb tense

Scout:

The two were out on a date that Scout had planned. He always had the cutest date ideas; Tonight he had taken his S/O out to dinner in a cute local restaurant, then took them to the drive-in theater. His S/O noticed that he seemed really on edge throughout the date, but when they asked him about it he insisted it was nothing.

He had taken them to see a romantic comedy film. For a long while they sat with their eyes glued to the screen and a popcorn bag in their arms. It was only towards the end of the film that they finally turned to make a comment to Scout and noticed that he wasn’t watching the movie- he was watching them, and he had leaned significantly closer. He turned his head away and shifted back to a normal sitting position, stuttering something about stretching his back.

His S/O smiled a little. That’s why he was all nervous; He wanted a romantic-first-kiss date. They reached up to gently grab his chin and turn him toward them. Before he could ask what they were doing, they pressed their lips to his.

Once they separate, Scout is obviously very flustered but he tries to play it cool while asking for another kiss. His S/O is happy to kiss him as much as he likes.

 Soldier:

The team had recently received a bunch of new weapons and everyone was trying their new gear out. Soldier was busy rocket jumping all over the place, and was trying to perfect a certain trick. No matter how many times he tried, he couldn’t get it right.

After about 15 minutes he stopped and sat down to drink some water, obviously furious that he couldn’t get it right. As soon as his S/O sat down next to him he started complaining loudly, claiming that the rocket launcher was faulty or something like that. They could tell his failure was making him really upset.

His S/O reminds him that with enough hard work and time, he can pull it off. He gets ridiculously hyped up by their encouragement and gets up to try again.

After another 15-20 minutes, he finally pulls off the trick flawlessly. He laughs triumphantly and immediately turns to his S/O with an almost child-like expression of pride and excitement on his face. He runs over and gives them a short but passionate kiss before thanking them for the encouragement and running off to practice some more.

Pyro:

The two had been spending the last few hours in private, just cuddling and watching TV while Pyro doodled. Pyro had already become accustomed to not wearing their mask around their S/O and did so regularly, including that moment. At some point, Pyro looked up at their S/O for a moment, completely silent, and then looked back down at their drawing. His S/O took notice and looked over at Pyro curiously, but looked away after a moment as they didn’t care too much.

After a moment, they noticed Pyro looking at them again from the corner of their eye before seeing them look back down. At this point, they were really curious about what Pyro was doing. After the fifth time, they finally turned and asked Pyro what they were doing.

Pyro giggled before holding up the paper they miraculously had not burned yet, which had a drawing of their S/O on it. It wasn’t finished and it wasn’t very good, but it certainly was a cute drawing. Their S/O smiled and complimented Pyro’s drawing before leaning down to press a quick kiss to their lips. The poor baby was super flustered by the kiss but absolutely loved it.

Demo:

Demo’s S/O was super annoyed to find Demo standing at the door to their base quarters at 11:30 at night, so drunk he could barely stand. He would often drop by at late times while drunk like this, but never this late. Now it was too late to take him back to his room, or he’d wake the other mercs. They sighed softly and helped him inside.

As soon as he was inside he started mumbling all sorts of things as his S/O set up somewhere to sleep. He slurred out a “Whaaat? I donwanna sleep there…” as they set up a space on the floor for him. They turned to him and simply informed him that they didn’t want him pissing on or throwing up on their bed. He protested, claiming he would do no such thing, until he finally annoyed them enough to let him sleep in the bed with them to shut him up. He beamed when they finally gave in and promptly mumbled, “Ahhh, thankya, love… Aloveya…” before pressing a sloppy kiss to their lips.

HIs S/O couldn’t help but giggle as he climbed into bed and snuggled up next to them. They jokingly told him he was an idiot, but he only mumbled an unintelligible response before falling asleep. They rolled their eyes at this and kissed his forehead before closing their eyes as well.

Heavy:

Heavy is not one to initiate things the first time, so his S/O is gonna have to kiss him first.

One morning, Heavy’s S/O stepped into Heavy’s quarters in the base and greeted him. They would often come visit him in the morning and would often have breakfast with him. He looked up from his book and smiled softly before asking them to come relax with him. As they cuddled up to his side, he asked if they would like to learn a little Russian. They smile and say yes. Even if they already speak Russian, his vocabulary is ridiculously big in Russian and it’s fun to learn new words from him.

He teaches and talks with them for like half an hour before his S/O says that they’re hungry and ask if they can finish up so they can go get breakfast. Heavy, of course, says that’s fine. His S/O gets up to leave, but just before they do, they thank him for the lesson and give him a quick kiss. He’s glad his S/O didn’t notice the blush rising in his cheeks before they left.

Engie:

One busy weekend at the base, Engie asked his S/O if they’ll be free that night. When they told him they were, he grinned and asked if they’d be willing to meet him in his quarters that night. He seemed delighted when they said they’d love to spend some time with him.

That night, his S/O was pleasantly surprised to find that he had made dinner for the two of them and prepared a movie. For a long while they happily chatted over the food, before Engie told them to go sit on the couch and ran out of the room for a moment, then came back with his guitar. They couldn’t help but laugh as he sang them a bunch of love songs.

As soon as he finished his last song, his S/O got up, walked around the table to him, and leaned down to give him a soft kiss. As they pulled away, they giggled at his awestruck expression and pressed another one to his forehead. He finally snapped out of it when they asked if they can watch the movie now, to which he responded with a yes. The two spent the rest of the night cuddled up together on his couch before falling asleep.

Medic:

For the last week, Medic had been hard at work on an experiment that he couldn’t seem to get right. He often got super frustrated and would have to step away from his work for a few minutes to calm his nerves. His S/O would often sit with him during these breaks, just keeping him company and sometimes giving a few words of encouragement. He was always grateful for their support and always thanked them before returning to his work.

After a few days of this, Medic excitedly runs up to his S/O and demands that they come back to the lab with him. He thinks he’s finally figured out how to make his experiment work, and he wants the person who supported him through it to witness his success. They can’t say no to his almost child-like expression of excitement.

He grabs their hand and rushes back to perform the last step of his experiment. His S/O could tell he was a little anxious as he sighed deeply. The two waited in anticipation for the experiment to show any signs of success for a moment… until Medic jumped up triumphantly and cheered when it did. He immediately turned to his S/O and pulled them into a quick but passionate kiss, then started running around the lab and expressing his excitement. His S/O could only stand and watch him with a big grin and a red face.

Sniper:

Sniper’s S/O came by his camper in the morning as they often did. When they opened the door, Sniper greeted them with a smile and two hot coffees. They were taken aback when he asked what they’d like for breakfast. “You’re in a good mood today, aren’t you?” They joked before telling him what they wanted. Of course, this dumbass only knows how to grill lizards or something, so he orders something from town to share with his S/O. 

When the food finally arrives, his S/O smiles and thanks him for ordering food for them. He says, “You’re welcome, ‘Roo,” and holds out the box. They reach out to take it from him, but when their fingers are inches away from the box, he pulls it back with a mischievous chuckle. His S/O looks up at him with wide eyes and asks what the big deal is. He leaned down and propped himself up with one hand on the table to say that they’ll get their food in exchange for a kiss.

His S/O couldn’t help but laugh and call him a dork. They reached up to cup his face in their hands and gave him a short but sweet kiss. He chuckled again when they separated and sat down across from them, putting down the boxes of food. He looked up at them with a soft smile and thanked them for the kiss.

Spy:

Spy’s S/O grinned at Spy as he entered their quarters; He had developed a little habit of visiting each night to spend some time with his S/O without the other mercs around. He sat down next to them and wrapped an arm around their waist, and asked if they’d like to go out for dinner the next night. His S/O happily exclaimed that they’d love to go out with him, which earned a content chuckle from him.

The next night, Spy turned up at their quarters early to show them a beautiful outfit he’d bought for them for the night. They got themselves together and drove to a ridiculously fancy restaurant in a neighboring city. Spy’s S/O was mindblown by how expensive all of the food was, but Spy didn’t hesitate to buy them anything they wanted. The two had an amazing night enjoying each other’s company and eating the delicious food.

Once they got back to the base, Spy walked them back to their quarters and asked if they enjoyed the night. They laughed softly in response and told him that this was one of the best nights of their life. They then leaned forward and gave Spy a gentle kiss and said good night before disappearing into their quarters. Spy was silent for a moment, but then chuckled to himself and turned to walk back to his own quarters.

[thesaltofcarthage]

Loki takes over: Tom Hiddleston on his new TV series and a decade in the MCU

from Entertainment Weekly

Ten years after Hiddleston first chose chaos in Thor, Marvel’s fan favorite God of Mischief is going even bigger with his time-bending Disney+ show.

By Chancellor Agard May 20, 2021 

Tom Hiddleston is Loki, and he is burdened with glorious purpose: After playing Thor's puckish brother for over a decade in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, no one understands the mercurial Asgardian God of Mischief as well as the actor. He can teach an entire seminar on Loki if given the opportunity — which he actually did during pre-production on his forthcoming Disney+ show. In conversation, Hiddleston quotes lines from his MCU debut, 2011's Thor, almost verbatim, and will playfully correct you if you mistakenly refer to Asgard's Rainbow Bridge as the Bifrost, which is the portal that connects Loki and Thor's homeworld to the Nine Realms, including Midgard, a.k.a. Earth. "Well, the Bifrost technically is the energy that runs through the bridge," he says with a smile. "But nine points to Gryffindor!" And when he shows up to the photo shoot for this very digital cover, he hops on a call with our photo editor to pitch ways the concept could be even more Loki, like incorporating the flourish the trickster does whenever magically conjuring something. The lasting impression is that playing Loki isn't just a paycheck.

"Rather than ownership, it's a sense of responsibility I feel to give my best every time and do the best I can because I feel so grateful to be a part of what Marvel Studios has created," the 40-year-old Brit tells EW over Zoom a few days after the shoot and a week out from Thor's 10th anniversary. "I just want to make sure I've honored that responsibility with the best that I can give and the most care and thought and energy."

After appearing in three Thor movies and three Avengers, Hiddleston is bringing that passion to his first solo Marvel project, Loki, the House of Ideas' third Disney+ series following the sitcom pastiche WandaVision and the topical The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Led by head writer Michael Waldron (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Heels), the six-episode drama sees Hiddleston's shapeshifting agent of chaos step out from behind his brother's shadow and into the spotlight for a timey-wimey, sci-fi adventure that aims to get to the bottom of who Loki really is. "I wanted to explore slightly more complex character questions," says Waldron. "It's not just good versus bad. Is anybody all good? Is anybody all bad? What makes a hero, a hero? A villain, a villain?"  

Even though Loki — who loves sowing mayhem with his illusion magic and shapeshifting, all with a major chip on his shoulder — has never been one for introspection, the idea of building an entire show around him was a no-brainer for Marvel. When asked why Loki was one of the studio's first Disney+ shows, Marvel president Kevin Feige replies matter-of-factly, "More Hiddleston, more Loki." First introduced as Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) envious brother in Kenneth Branagh's Thor, Loki went full Big Bad in 2012's The Avengers. That film cemented the impish rogue as one of the shared universe's fan favorites, thanks to Hiddleston's ability to make him deliciously villainous yet charismatic and, most importantly, empathetic. The character's popularity is one of the reasons he's managed to avoid death many times.

"He's been around for thousands of years. He had all sorts of adventures," says Feige. "Wanting to fill in the blanks and see much more of Loki's story [was] the initial desire [for the series]."

The Loki we meet on the show is not the one who fought the Avengers in 2012 and evolved into an antihero in Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok before meeting his demise at the hands of the mad titan Thanos (Josh Brolin) in 2018's Avengers: Infinity War. Instead, we'll be following a Loki from a branched timeline (a variant, if you will) after he stole the Tesseract following his thwarted New York invasion and escaped S.H.I.E.L.D. custody during the time heist featured in Avengers: Endgame. In other words, this Loki hasn't gone through any sort of redemption arc. He's still the charming yet petulant god who firmly believes he's destined to rule and has never gotten his due.

Premiering June 9, Loki begins with the Time Variance Authority — a bureaucratic organization tasked with safeguarding the proper flow of time — arresting the Loki Variant seen in Endgame because they want his help fixing all of the timeline problems he caused while on the run with the Tesseract. So there will be time travel, and a lot more of it than in Endgame. As Loki makes his way through his own procedural, he'll match wits with new characters including Owen Wilson's Agent Mobius, a brilliant TVA analyst, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw's Judge Renslayer. The question in early episodes is whether Loki will help them or take over.

"One of the things Kevin Feige led on was, 'I think we should find a way of exploring the parts of Loki that are independent of his relationship with Thor,' or see him in a duality or in relationship with others, which I thought was very exciting," says Hiddleston, who also serves as an executive producer on the show. "So the Odinson saga, that trilogy of films, still has its integrity, and we don't have to reopen it and retell it."

Yet, in order to understand where Loki is going, it's important to see where he came from.

Hiddleston can't believe how long he and Loki have been connected. "I've been playing this character for 11 years," he says. "Which is the first time I have said that sentence, I realize, and it [blows] my mind. I don't know what percentage that is exactly of my 40 years of being alive, but it's substantial."

His time as Loki actually goes a bit further back, to 2009 — a year after Robert Downey Jr. big banged the MCU into existence with Iron Man — when he auditioned for Thor. It's no secret that Hiddleston initially went in for the role of the titular God of Thunder, but Feige and director Kenneth Branagh thought his natural charm and flexibility as an actor made him better suited for the movie's damaged antagonist. "Tom gave you an impression that he could be ready for anything, performance-wise," says Branagh, who had previously worked with him on a West End revival of Checkov's Ivanov and the BBC series Wallander. "Tom has a wild imagination, so does Loki. He's got a mischievous sense of humor and he was ready to play. It felt like he had a star personality, but he was a team player."

Hiddleston fully immersed himself in the character. Outside of studying Loki's history in the Marvel Comics, he also researched how Loki and the Trickster God archetype appeared across mythology and different cultures. "He understood that he was already in something special [and] it was a special character in a special part of that early moment in the life of the Marvel universe where [he] also needed to step up in other ways," says Branagh, who was impressed by the emotional depth Hiddleston brought to the part, especially when it came to how isolated Loki felt in the Asgardian royal family.  

There was a lot riding on that first Thor feature. For one, no one knew if audiences would immediately latch onto a Shakespearean superhero movie partially set on an alien planet populated by the Norse Gods of legend. Second, it was integral to Feige's plans for the shared universe. Loki was supposed to be the main villain in The Avengers, which would not only mirror how Earth's mightiest heroes joined forces in 1963's Avengers #1 but also give Thor a believable reason for teaming up with Iron Man, Captain America (Chris Evans), and the rest of the capes. Feige first clued Hiddleston into those larger plans when the actor was in L.A. before Thor started shooting.

"I was like, 'Excuse me?' Because he was already three, four steps ahead," says Hiddleston. "That took me a few minutes to process, because I didn't quite realize how it just suddenly had a scope. And being cast as Loki, I realized, was a very significant moment for me in my life, and was going to remain. The creative journey was going to be so exciting."

Hiddleston relished the opportunity to go full villain in Avengers, like in the scene where Loki ordered a crowd to kneel before him outside a German opera house: "It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation," says the Machiavellian god. "The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

"I just knew that in the structure of that film, I had to lean into his role as a pure antagonist," Hiddleston recalls. "What I always found curious and complex about the way Loki is written in Avengers, is that his status as an antagonist comes from the same well of not belonging and being marginalized and isolated in the first Thor film. Loki now knows he has no place in Asgard."

Loki did find a place within the audience's hearts, though. Feige was "all in" on Hiddleston as his Loki from the beginning, but even he couldn't predict how much fans would love him. Feige recalls the reaction at the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con: "Did we know that after he was the villain in two movies, he would be bringing thousands of people to their feet in Hall H, in costume, chanting his name? No, that was above and beyond the plan that we were hoping for and dreaming of." It was a dream Feige first got an inkling of a year earlier during the Avengers press tour when a Russian fan slipped past security, snuck into Mark Ruffalo's car, and asked the Hulk actor to give Hiddleston a piece of fan art she created. "That was one of the early signs there was much more happening with this quote-unquote villain."  

Despite that popularity, the plan was to kill Loki off in 2013's Thor: The Dark World, but the studio reversed course after test audiences refused to believe he actually died fighting the Dark Elves. Alas, he couldn't out-illusion death forever. After returning in Taika Waititi's colorful and idiosyncratic Thor: Ragnarok, Hiddleston's character perished for real in the opening moments of Infinity War. In typical Loki fashion, before Thanos crushed his windpipe, he delivered a defiant speech that indicated he'd finally made peace with the anger he felt toward his family.  

"It felt very, very final, and I thought, 'Okay, that's it. This is Loki's final bow and a conclusive end to the Odinson saga,'" says Hiddleston, who shot that well-earned death scene in 2017.  

But, though he didn't know it yet, the actor's MCU story was far from over.

When Hiddleston returned to film two scenes in Avengers: Endgame in 2017, he had no idea where Loki portaled off to after snatching the Tesseract. "Where'd he go? When does he go? How does he get there? These are all questions I remember asking on the day, and then not being given any answers," Hiddleston recalls. To be fair, it's likely the Powers That Be didn't necessarily have answers then. While Feige can't exactly recall when the writers' room for Endgame first devised Loki's escape sequence, he does know that setting up a future show wasn't the primary goal — because a Loki series wasn't on the horizon just yet.

"[That scene] was really more of a wrinkle so that one of the missions that the Avengers went on in Endgame could get screwed up and not go well, which is what required Cap and Tony to go further back in time to the '70s," says Feige. Soon after that, though, former Disney CEO Bob Iger approached Feige about producing content for the studio's forthcoming streaming service. "I think the notion that we had left this hanging loose end with Loki gave us the in for what a Loki series could be. So by the time [Endgame] came out, we did know where it was going."

As for Hiddleston, he didn't find out about the plans for a Loki show until spring 2018, a few weeks before Infinity War hit theaters. "I probably should not have been surprised, but I was," says the actor. "But only because Infinity War had felt so final."

Nevertheless, Hiddleston was excited about returning for his show. He was eager to explore Loki's powers, especially the shapeshifting, and what it meant that this disruptive figure still managed to find a seat beside the gods in mythology. "I love this idea [of] Loki's chaotic energy somehow being something we need. Even though, for all sorts of reasons, you don't know whether you can trust him. You don't know whether he's going to betray you. You don't why he's doing what he's doing," says Hiddleston. "If he's shapeshifting so often, does he even know who he is? And is he even interested in understanding who he is? Underneath all those masks, underneath the charm and the wit, which is kind of a defense anyway, does Loki have an authentic self? Is he introspective enough or brave enough to find out? I think all of those ideas are all in the series — ideas about identity, ideas about self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and the difficulty of it."

“The series will explore Loki's powers in a way they have not yet been explored, which is very, very exciting.”

The thing that truly sold Hiddleston on the show was Marvel's decision to include the Time Variance Authority, a move he describes as "the best idea that anybody had pertaining to the series." Feige and Loki executive producer Stephen Broussard had hoped to find a place for the TVA — an organization that debuted in 1986's Thor #372 and has appeared in She-Hulk and Fantastic Four stories — in the MCU for years, but the right opportunity never presented itself until Loki came along. "Putting Loki into his own procedural series became the eureka moment for the show," says Feige.  

The TVA's perspective on time and reality also tied into the themes that Waldron, Loki's head writer, was hoping to explore. "Loki is a character that's always reckoning with his own identity, and the TVA, by virtue of what they do, is uniquely suited to hold up a mirror to Loki and make him really confront who he is and who he was supposed to be," says Waldron. Hiddleston adds: "[That] was very exciting because in the other films, there was always something about Loki that was very controlled. He seemed to know exactly what the cards in his hand were and how he was going to play them…. And Loki versus the TVA is Loki out of control immediately, and in an environment in which he's completely behind the pace, out of his comfort zone, destabilized, and acting out."

To truly dig into who Loki is, the creative team had to learn from the man who knows him best: Hiddleston. "I got him to do a thing called Loki School when we first started," says director Kate Herron. "I asked him to basically talk through his 10 years of the MCU — from costumes to stunts, to emotionally how he felt in each movie. It was fantastic."

Hiddleston got something out of the Loki school, too. Owen Wilson both attended the class and interviewed Hiddleston afterward so that he could better understand Loki, as his character Mobius is supposed to be an expert on him. During their conversation, Wilson pointedly asked Hiddleston what he loved about playing the character.

"And I said, 'I think it's because he has so much range,'" says Hiddleston. "I remember saying this to him: 'On the 88 keys on the piano, he can play the twinkly light keys at the top. He can keep it witty and light, and he's the God of Mischief, but he can also go down to the other side and play the heavy keys. And he can play some really profound chords down there, which are about grief and betrayal and loss and heartbreak and jealousy and pride.'" Hiddleston recalls Wilson being moved by the description: "He said, 'I think I might say that in the show.' And it was such a brilliant insight for me into how open Owen is as an artist and a performer.'"

Everyone involved is particularly excited for audiences to see Hiddleston and Wilson's on-screen chemistry. "Mobius is not unlike Owen Wilson in that he's sort of nonplussed by the MCU," says Feige. "[Loki] is used to getting a reaction out of people, whether it's his brother or his father, or the other Avengers. He likes to be very flamboyant and theatrical. Mobius doesn't give him the reaction he's looking for. That leads to a very unique relationship that Loki's not used to."

As for the rest of the series, we know that Loki will be jumping around time and reality, but the creative team isn't keen on revealing when and where. "Every episode, we tried to take inspiration from different things," says Waldron, citing Blade Runner's noir aesthetic as one example.

"Part of the fun of the multiverse and playing with time is seeing other versions of characters, and other versions of the titular character in particular," says Feige, who also declined to confirm if Loki ties into Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and/or other upcoming projects.

Making Loki was especially meaningful to Hiddleston because they shot most of it during the pandemic, in late 2020. "It will remain one of the absolute most intense, most rewarding experiences of my life," he says. "It's a series about time, and the value of time, and what time is worth, and I suppose what the experience of being alive is worth. And I don't quite know yet, and maybe I don't have perspective on it, if all the thinking and the reflecting that we did during the lockdown ended up in the series. But in some way, it must have because everything we make is a snapshot of where we were in our lives at that time."

While it remains to be seen what the future holds for Loki beyond this initial season, Hiddleston isn't preparing to put the character to bed yet. "I'm open to everything," he says. "I have said goodbye to the character. I've said hello to the character. I said goodbye to the character [again]. I've learned not to make assumptions, I suppose. I'm just grateful that I'm still here, and there are still new roads to explore."

Additional reporting by Jessica Derschowitz

[trashforgubler]

My Cell

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Spencer falls in love with the reader, who is the owner of a bookstore

Extra Info: Titled after “My Cell” by the Lumineers, which is one of my favorite songs ever, 11/10 should listen. Also the book I mention in here is one of my all time favs if you’re looking for a recommendation 

Requests: Open

masterpost

Spencer had a thing for books. At least, that’s what he told himself as he was walking into Bastet Books for the third time this week. Even though this bookstore was on the other side of town, and there were exactly three other book stores that were considerably closer to his apartment. He told himself this bookstore was better, even though the other ones had far greater selections (and lower prices). He told himself that he liked the white cat with one blue eye and one green eye that greeted him at the door every time he came in, and it had nothing to do with you thank you very much. 

 Of course, he had noticed that you were… attractive. But attraction is nothing but science. Anyone would be attracted to someone as beautiful as you were. The way your hands gently cradled the books in your arms as you restocked them on the shelf. The way your eyebrow furrowed slightly as you read, making you look lost in another world. Anyone would notice the smell of lavender and Old Spice as you walked by, excusing yourself with a soft voice and a shy smile, your bright eyes darting theirs as they moved past. This is what Spencer used to explain the butterflies that flew around in his stomach every time he saw you at the cash register. 

He did not have a crush on you, he was just observant.

 And as Spencer walked out of the bookstore with an armful of true crime and a copy of Twilight (in Russian of course, as he doesn’t read fiction in English, but still takes his friend’s recommendations), he realized he was going to have to think of some more reasons why he drives the extra 20 minutes to this bookstore, because the persistent itch in his eyes and nose were telling him he may be allergic to cats. 

 Three days later Spencer was back at the bookstore. The same bookstore that was an inconvenient distance away and had an animal that he was definitely allergic to. He told himself he got allergy medicine because there may be other times where it might come in handy and going into the bookstore was a good way to test it out anyway.

 The bell on the door welcomed him in. As always, he immediately looked to the cash register, secretly hoping to see you. No, I’m not hoping anything Spencer assured himself. Although his own mind contradicted this thought as he found himself disappointed when he laid eyes on not you, but an older man with a scraggly beard behind the counter. Funny, he thought for sure you worked on Thursdays. But he began browsing the shelves anyway because he was certainly here to buy books and that did not change based on who was working.

 He made his way to a section he hasn’t been down before: Historical Fiction. Usually, he preferred to keep historical and fiction books separate from each other, as he found the inaccuracies to be outraging when the two were mixed together. But he had already read all of the historical books in the store by now, and as he found last time, he was not a fan of complete fiction. Even in Russian.

 His long fingers traced the dusty spines on the shelves as he read each title to himself. The quiet music echoing down the empty aisle made him smile slightly, another reason he loved this store. The others were boring and dead silent. Stepping into them felt like walking around a prestigious museum more than a bookstore. Not here. Here, there was the strum of acoustic music that made everything feel alive. Small conversations could be heard from other aisles, and he liked how they stacked the books here. Not just on the shelves, but on top of them, and on coffee tables placed sporadically throughout the room. There were even books on the windowsills, as if the store were so bursting with words and stories they couldn’t be confined to a single space. 

 Spencer picked up a book from the top of the shelf: The Secret History by Donna Tartt. It was clearly used; the cover was bent at the corner and the spine was broken in several places. It was even starting to rip at the bottom. These were his favorite books. Ones that were read by so many people it was starting to fall apart but seemed to stay together just for him.

 “That’s a great book.”

 Spencer turned to the voice, but he knew he didn’t need to. He would recognize the softness of the words and the smell of lavender anywhere. You were standing near him, a box of newly shipped books in your arms, ready to shelve. Except the box was marked Contemporary, not Historical Fiction. Maybe it was this minute detail, the one that meant you had walked into the aisle he was in just to see what he was reading that gave him the courage to respond.

 “Yeah, it looks good. I think I’m gonna buy it.”

 He pretended to study the cover again. He wanted to keep talking, he really did, but the words seemed stuck in his throat. 

 “You’re Spencer, right?”

 Spencer looked up again and nodded, trying to keep his face and body language casual, even though he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. 

 “You’re in here a lot, aren’t you?”

 Spencer nodded again. Say something, he scolded himself. 

 “Yeah, I uh, really like to read.”

 He mentally slapped himself. Could he have picked something more stupid to say?

 “I can tell,” you said with a smile. God, you had such a beautiful smile. “I’m Y/N by the way.” You shifted the box of books into one arm and extended your hand to him. He shook it without thinking about all the germs that might be on it. For the first time in years, the thought never crossed his mind. Maybe it was because you were different than other people. Other people were germy and even the thought of touching their hands revolted him enough to spit statistics at them, lectures on how he would rather kiss a stranger on the lips than shake their hand if given the choice. The touch of your hand made him want to melt.

You stood in silence for a few seconds, smiling at each other politely. Spencer began to rock on the balls of his feet slightly, usure of what else to do. He should not be feeling nervous, but he was

 “Well, let me know if you need anything,” you said finally and leave the aisle.

 As soon as you were out of sight, Spencer rubbed furiously at his eyes. What was that? He interviews serial killers for a living but can’t have a coherent conversation with someone he likes? No, I don’t like them, he assured himself. Liking someone means going on dates and doing other things with them, and Spencer does not do that. He ignores the persistent voice in his head telling he would actually very much enjoy doing those things with you.

 A small purring object presses against the bottom of his pant leg, tickling his ankles. He looks down and sees the cat, rubbing his body against him. Spencer bends down and pets the top of his head, absently wondering if you had noticed that his hands had been shaking during the 30-second interaction. He looks back down at the cat and sees that they’re wearing a collar, Bastet it reads. Spencer smiled to himself. There seemed to be something unignorably adorable about naming a bookstore after your cat, and naming your cat after the Egyptian god of cats. Spencer liked the idea that there was someone just as nerdy as him.

 He gave Bastet a quick kiss on the top of the head and left the aisle. He turned right to go to the cash register but stopped when he saw who it was. Scraggly beard guy was gone, and instead, you were chatting with a customer as you bagged their items. Immediately, Spencer’s heartbeat picked up once again, and the butterflies returned to his stomach. Stop. He told himself. I will not let you get nervous over someone you don’t even like. When it was his turn, he put The Secret History on the counter and pulled the bills out of his wallet. 

 “Spencer, long time no see.” you joked. You scanned his book and took the bills from his hand. He would be lying if he said his heart didn’t jump when your soft fingers grazed his.

 Spencer forced himself to return the laugh even though he felt like throwing up. Why did he feel like throwing up? He avoided eye contact by shuffling the bills around his wallet until you returned the book to him. You opened your mouth to say something, but Spencer cut you off with a hasty, “Have a nice day!” before speed walking out of the store. He told himself it was because he didn’t want to hold up the line with another conversation, but he knew deep down if he looked at you for one second longer he would say things that were not rational, and Spencer was always rational. 

---

That night when Spencer tucked himself into bed and opened up the book, his receipt fell out of the first page and onto his chest. Only the receipt had something written on it in neat blue ink. 

 Spencer,

I’m not sure how to say this, so I’ll let someone better at words than I am say it instead (I’m a reader and not a writer for a reason). Read the poem "A Stranger" by Lang Leav. It’s one of my favorites and every time I read it, I find myself thinking of you. 

-         Y/N

 But Spencer didn’t have to read the poem, because he’s read it many times before. And every time he did, he found himself thinking of you. He smiled as he finally welcomed the butterflies and racing heart wholly at the thought of your name. And before he drifted off to sleep, he recited the poem in his head, and with every line he thought, a new butterfly appeared.

 There is a love I reminisce,

Like a seed

I've never sown.

 Or lips that I am yet to kiss,

and eyes

not met my own.

 Hands that wrap around my wrists,

and arms

that feel like home.

 I wonder how it is I miss,

these things

I've never known.

 Maybe falling in love, was not so scary after all. 

[aelaer]

The Blood in My Veins: Pt 4

Heyyyy I'm back. Now that one of my big fic projects is done/being rolled out I can concentrate on getting this finished (as well as other prompts). Here are the earlier parts if you can't remember what happened in this long-running prompt fic, since my last update was like, the summer.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Prompt (via @ironstrangeprompts that I can’t tag for whatever reason qq): Kidnapped to play doctor for a still unseen other prisoner; Stephen realizes there is only one person on the planet who would have palladium in their blood.

The Warnings: Okay guys, I want to cover all bases for this part and all parts henceforth. The bad guy I've written here really really sucks. He's a complete asshole. Part of his assholeness can include behaviors such as racism, sexism, homophobic remarks, religious bigotry, and overall just being a terrible human being. This terrible human being is not a typical representative of his nation/culture and is very thankfully fictional. There's plenty of Canon-Typical Violence around, too. All of the above are not be in this specific part but could be in future parts (I'm writing this as I go so I truly don't know, I just know he’s a dickwad). I didn't know this section was gonna happen until I finished Part 2, for instance, otherwise I'd have put a note at the beginning. I'd consider the fic a heavy teen fic, if you're looking for a rating, so it shouldn't get to graphical violence beyond what you'd see in high teen rated content. Also, there's going to be Medical Procedures in the future, though more clinical rather than graphic. Hopefully that covers everything, please ask me anything if you have a question.

I always put these longer writings on tumblr into "read more" cuts, but the mobile app does not always work correctly if you're looking at the original post from my tumblr, so I apologise for the length if you're on the app and viewing the original and said cut is not working. Still unbetaed, all errors are mine.

--------------------------

Part Four: Seeing Red Again

Another three days passed with little change in Stephen’s schedule. He went for his sleep shift at 12:30 a.m. New York time, and was woken up by one of the others between 5:20 to 5:30 a.m. It wasn't enough time for even two full complete sleep cycles, but everyone there—perhaps with exception to Steffen Baar, who was a chemist—had gone through grueling schedules during medical school and residency. So they were, in some ways, used to it.

After waking up, he had fifteen minutes to shower, shave, and change into the clothing about his size, provided for by his captors. From there, he then got to work. His sleep shift ended about three hours before dinner came—about 8:30 a.m. New York time—and a small snack arrived at what he assumed was this place's midnight, but was 2 p.m. according to his watch. Breakfast came twelve hours after dinner, at 8:30 p.m. in New York, and he went to bed again half an hour after midnight. Apparently while he slept, another snack break came for those awake.

The one small blessing in all of this was that the people holding them realized the power of caffeine and provided black tea and coffee every time they brought them food. He didn't think there were any cameras in the showers or toilets, either, which was—hopefully true. There was nothing obvious and, truth be told, he didn't really want to look much further for evidence.

Throughout his waking day, Stephen largely helped prep samples for blood analysis. He tried to strategize with Summer about how to best utilize their resources, should a surgery be required, but they had little to go on. They had yet to receive better X-rays of their patient—of Tony Stark, which still baffled Stephen—so much of their planning was about logistics.

"Doctors in the United States are required to complete a surgical rotation in their third year of med school," Stephen said, "so Jada will know basic surgical procedures. Do you need to do the same in the UK?"

"Yes," Summer answered. "All doctors go through the two-year Foundation Programme which always includes training in general surgery. So Dr Mahajan will be able to assist us as well."

"They can serve as our nurses and techs," Stephen muttered. "But what about Dr Baar?"

Summer pursed her lips together. "No medical training—but I would rather have him on hand than not. If we said we can't use him…"

Stephen grimaced and nodded. "Point. He can certainly hold a retractor." He blew out a breath. "We'll need a heart-lung machine. Those aren't easy to come by."

"None of this machinery is," she pointed out, jutting her chin to the advanced machinery scattered around the room. "I don't think that will be an issue for us. Whoever these people are, they have resources."

He pursed his lips together. "We also need an anesthesiologist."

She paused at that and sighed. "Yes. Yes, we need one of those. Unfortunately, I think we're going to be working with someone on their team if the surgery happens."

Stephen made a face. "What makes you think that?"

"When they first showed me the X-rays, I told them I would need another surgeon for the spinal area—you—and an anesthesiologist. They only spoke about finding me a surgeon, so they must have their own medical team that includes one."

He sighed. "Of course they do. He better be competent."

Summer shrugged. "Not much we can do about it. And there's not much more we can plan on this hypothetical surgery until I have better X-rays."

And so that ended that discussion and, three days later, there were no changes on that end. No new X-rays had come in, so both he and the other surgeon were stuck helping prepare samples and input data. And Stephen hadn't been so bored in years.

One wouldn't think that being captive would be boring, especially if one was doing medical work during that time. But when said medical work was repetitive lab work he hadn't done since med school? And doing it for about fifteen hours a day for three days straight with no music, no reading, no nothing to help bring some distraction or variety to his work? It was absolutely mind-numbing. A small part of him wasn't entirely sure if he could survive like this for—how long did Jada said Stark had to live without a cure or intervention? Two months? He couldn't do this for two months. He was going out of his mind after three days.

It was about halfway through his shift on the fourth day that he regretted ever thinking that he was bored.

He was typing up results from various tests performed by Jada when the door to the room was suddenly slammed open. Startled, Stephen immediately turned towards the sound, only to see five men enter, all of them with guns pointed to the rest of the room. Beside him, Jada immediately threw her hands on top of her head, and he quickly followed suit.

"Come quietly! Do not fight!" said one of the men. Stephen couldn't even begin to guess his accent; maybe it was Eastern European? Russian? Former Soviet bloc in Asia? Somewhere in that rather wide region of the world, which wasn't particularly helpful information considering there were some twenty to thirty countries there.

Summer was the doctor currently asleep, though looking over his shoulder, Stephen saw that she had woken up to the sound and was pushing herself up. But he couldn't look at her or the other doctors long as he was grabbed by one of the men and forced to walk. The gun the man carried quickly negated any ideas of retaliation.

They were led down a hall; he could see Steffen, Meera, and Jada in front of him, all being led in the same rough manner he was going through. The walk itself wasn't very long, perhaps a minute, but to Stephen it felt like every second was dragging. Despite his best efforts, his heart was starting to race at this new development.

The man with Steffen finally stopped in front of a door and unlocked it, then shoved the chemist inside. Within seconds, Stephen was at the door and being pushed forward himself. He took a quick look around, as much as he could without moving much: a large room with concrete walls and no windows, just like where he and the other doctors were being kept. Cot in the corner. Table with a computer and covered in bits of wires and electronics that he couldn't begin to label. Two other men armed with enormous guns—some sort of automatic rifles—and then one man who was crossing his arms and staring at him and his fellow doctors with a look that immediately put Stephen on edge. This man, this man radiated the air of a person in charge.

And then there was him. The famous Tony Stark, or Iron Man as he was calling himself these days. He looked like a former shadow of himself, being several pounds thinner and bearing a sickly pallor that Stephen immediately noticed, even during these circumstances.

A look of surprise was upon Stark's hollow face, but even as Stephen focused more upon him, it was quickly replaced by the cool anger of a man biting his tongue.

All five doctors were maneuvered to face Stark in a line before being forced to their knees. Stephen bit his lip to hold back a grunt of pain from his knees hitting the concrete floor.

"You say you are 'calling my bluff' with your medical team," said the man. He pushed himself off the wall and passed out of Stephen's line of sight. "Here they are." He started at Stephen's right as he went through the doctors. "Steffen Baar, chemist." A step closer. "Jada Ferguson, hematologist." Another step, and he heard Doctor Mahajan inhale sharply. "Meera Mahajan, pathologist."

Another step, and the man was behind him. To Stephen's utter horror, he felt cold metal press against the back of his head. "Stephen Strange, neurosurgeon." The metal then left his head and he heard another step. "Summer Weston, cardiothoracic surgeon." Another step, and he could see the man in the corner of his eye again, this time on his left.

Tony Stark kept his lips pressed in a tight line as their captor went through the line. When he finished, the billionaire swallowed and looked at them all. "Good job keeping me alive this long, docs," he said.

"Not good enough, Stark," the man snapped. "Their solution is only a band aid. They give you but a few more weeks. They are called the best doctors in the world, and they cannot yet make a cure?"

Stephen forcefully held back his retort regarding the man's utter ignorance. It was an outright miracle they found any sort of solution as quickly as they did to delay the spread!

Stark, it seemed, agreed with him, and had no such reservations with holding back. "That's insane, Yusifov. It takes teams of doctors months, if not years to create what you're looking for."

He couldn't see it, but Stephen could almost feel the sneer from their captor, this Yusifov. "In that case, you don't need this many doctors, do you?" A couple steps and he was again behind Stephen, further to the right. "I'm no doctor, but as far as I can tell, these two both look at blood and try to fix the problem. Neither of them fixed it, not fully. So who do you want to keep, Stark? The black American or the Indian Brit? One less woman won't make a difference."

Stephen dared a glance to his right when he heard quick breathing. Doctor Mahajan was visibly shaking and starting to hyperventilate; to her right, Doctor Ferguson was quiet, but her lips trembled and tears pricked her eyes.

Stark stepped forward, and several guns rose at the action. He stopped but held his ground, raising his hands. "Don't do this."

"Why not?" the man retorted. "You refuse to work because you are dying. They have failed you and one will pay the price. Perhaps both; they are both from lesser races."

As Stephen processed the fact that he heard a comment like that in fucking 2010, Doctor Mahajan's breathing accelerated into full on hyperventilation. His medical mind noticed it immediately.

But another was quicker to the draw. "Breathe through your nose, Meera," Summer said lowly. "Try to inhale for one-one thousand, then exhale through pursed lips. You can—"

"Shut up!"

Doctor Weston was smacked on the back of her head hard enough to send her sprawling to the floor.

And Stephen snapped.

Now, if one were to ask Doctor Stephen Strange, he would by no means consider himself heroic or noble. His role as a doctor was one of service, but even within his relatively short time as a neurosurgeon, he had already gained a prestige that recognized his rising star and already people in the medical community were considering him in the top ranks of neurosurgeons. Soon, demand for his expertise would be large enough for him to have the option to turn away those who weren't worth his time, and he felt not a lick of guilt for that. His skills were valuable.

But to hear this brute of a man first throw slurs at two of the most brilliant women—no, the most brilliant doctors—in their fields followed by an outright assault on the other caused a protectiveness Stephen hadn't felt since his sister's death to completely overtake him. He saw red.

He leaped up at Yusifov in a fiery anger, no particular idea in mind except stop him from hurting anyone rushing through his head. At this point there was little thought, only adrenaline and a near primal fury running through his veins. It wasn't like him to be so hot-headed; he was a man who kept his cool under the most stressful of circumstances. But perhaps several days of poor sleep combined with the stress of the situation finally got to him. When he thought about it in the aftermath, even he would admit he had no idea what he was thinking.

It was a spur-of-the-moment decision he would come to regret.

In one moment he managed to knock the pistol out of Yusifov's hands and punched him in the face. He recognized screaming, shouting, fighting in the noises behind him, but he was focused on his own target.

Stephen hit him twice more before someone threw an arm around his neck and dragged him back and began to choke him. He clawed at the arm, which did nothing, but then he aimed his heel down right to the sensitive part of his attacker's instep. The man grunted in pain and the grip around his neck loosened. 

A shot shattered through the enclosed space, causing Stephen to freeze in surprise—and that proved to be his downfall. He saw Yusifov raising his pistol just before he was whipped across the face with the weapon. The hit threw him off balance and he fell to the floor and lay there for a second, stunned. He felt wetness on the side of his head.

As Stephen attempted to push himself up, a kick to his back sent him back to the floor. An involuntary grunt of pain escaped him. He closed his eyes, pausing for breath, but was given little time to recover as he was grabbed by both arms and dragged up to his knees. From his new position, he could see the rest of the room once more, and Stephen's heart skipped a beat at what was before him.

There were several alarming sights: Tony Stark on his knees just like him, nose bloodied. One of the gunmen near Stark with a screwdriver sticking in his neck and very much dead. Summer in the corner of the room, holding a shaking Meera against her chest.

And Doctor Steffen Baar on the ground, bleeding out from his stomach as Jada desperately tried to stem the blood flow with her sweater. The red dripped through the fabric and onto the concrete.

Stephen felt ill. He instinctively reached forward towards Steffen, to try and help, but the grip on his arms tightened and kept him in place.

Stark was the one to speak first. "Let them help him. I won't fight further. I'll do what you ask."

Yusifov came back into Stephen's line of sight as he stepped in front of him, though his gaze was on Stark. He said to the engineer, "You killed one of my men. A life for a life—that is fair, wouldn't you say?"

"He did nothing," Stark hissed, pulling against the hands that held him down. Stephen could see the men pull him back and tighten their grip in response. "And he's needed. You wouldn't have brought him here otherwise."

"He didn't do anything," Yusifov agreed, then turned to Stephen. "This one did." He then sent a sharp kick into Stephen's stomach, causing him to double over in pain as far as the men holding him  allowed. He almost missed the next statement. "And I should kill him for it. But the surgeon will be needed. The chemist, though? He failed to make a cure for your ailment with a month of time, and you don't have much longer to live, Stark. The chemist failed, and at this point, he's a waste of medical resources."

Then Yusifov nodded at one of his men, and he grabbed Jada by the arm and yanked her up to her feet.

"No—please, no, don't do this!" she shouted as she was dragged away from Steffen. Their captors ignored her and Yusifov walked up to the wounded man. He aimed his pistol at Steffen's head.

"Don't do this!" Stark shouted.

A shot rang through the room. A loud sob came from the corner before it was muffled. Stephen's ears rang, half deafened from the sound. His stomach churned; he felt like he was going to vomit. He hung his head and closed his eyes, trying to breathe slow breaths through his nose.

All he could smell was blood. He forcefully suppressed his gag reflex. 

Stephen missed whatever conversation came next, too busy trying to calm his breathing, trying not to throw up, and not having the energy to make out the words beyond the ringing in his ears. But then the world was moving as he was pulled to his feet and shoved out of the room, leaving behind Tony Stark and the body of Doctor Steffen Baar.

-----------------------------------------------

I was stuck on what I wanted to do with this part with a handful of ideas and consulted my beta for ideas. She suggested death which I wasn't even thinking of because I'm very bad at killing off characters. I blame her fully :P

Tag list (just let me know if you want to be added/removed with a comment - still not on AO3!): @sobeautifullyobsessed, @tashacumberbitch, @babywarg, @nishtha3012, @ragingstillness, @walkin-in-the-cosmos (I think the reason I can’t tag you is because you’ve flagged your tumblr for sensitive media, possibly), @lafourmii20, @asexualchemist, @iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife, @oo0-will-of-the-wisp-0oo, @animefanfreak45, @rulerofthefandomsnow, @killaspyglass, @renlybaratheon-tyrell, @symmetria42, @kay-lock-key-lock

[z-007]

A Journey of Sadism (mental and physical)

I was born in the 21st of April 1992, in Jableh-Latakia. But, since my father was an employee for Total French company in Syria, I grew up in Damascus. At the age of 4, I was diagnosed with Diabetes type 1. It was very hard for me at the beginning when I was a child, and my mother suffered a lot, giving me insulin injections, which I found painful at that time, and analyzing my blood sugar to inspect what did I eat if the result was soaring sky high. I hated her at the beginning, simply because as a child, I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. At 8 years old I went to a school that is Sunni Islamic Pre-Historic School in Dummar called -Young Scientists- something that I discovered later on to be ironic. In Syria, If you weren’t good at school, you were cursed, you became like a Boxing Heavybag. They also used Falakas, the art of whipping feet. It didn’t stop at that, simply because parents became part of this process too, using any tool at their disposal in beating their child, chair, water hose, hammer, clothes hanger, electric cables, let alone being slapped on the face in a way that I started feeling my bones were shaking, and my eyes will throw fire, or kicked in your head and started bleeding. All of this, was because my marks in Arabic, mathematics, history and geography were not good except in English. It was the best language to understand for me, and the subject in which I saw myself to be a good student. As a consequence of that, I started losing control and cause trouble to my so-called teachers at that time. Luckily in 2001, I found my sanctuary that took to a completely different world. It was the first time I saw James Bond in GoldenEye. I was so thrilled by the action sequence, the theme of betrayal and everything about it was cool. This was a turning point in my life to become a Bond fan. I also learnt how to sing rap songs like Faint for Linkin Park, and Bleed It Out. And all of my father’s friends who were French, British and Americans were impressed. It was something that I remember with a loving memory to those people. Later I watched the rest of the Bond films and the happiest moment in my life was when I found the complete DVD set in Tartus. Simply because no DVD store in Damascus had the complete set except one who was also our neighbor. The curse of buying films in Syria was that they were badly used CDs at the bloody beginning. It was very rare to have a CD converted from an original DVD. This greatest franchise in the whole world has sealed my internal wounds for not being a good student. Ironically, the mental case of mine came back to me when I was at High School, especially it was a time that determined who I am, luckily it passed with no harm to me, because a single mark changed future to some students .I forgot to mention, that the school principle when I was at the ninth grade, didn’t stop calling my parents and telling them not to spend a single penny on me, because he thought I will never be successful. But I brought a mark that was better than his children’s. In 2010, I became a student of English Literature in Damascus University, I remembered that I was not a bad student at that time with an average of 80 percent. But the Syrian Crisis began in 2011, the press was already screaming for blood and the political unrest escalated to the extent that we had to change residence. This was the bane of my existence to open my eyes and find myself in Latakia. I was simply cursed and hostile, because I didn’t speak like Alawaits, their accent felt like starving dogs, in other words, they bark. They are trivial, shallow minded wankers who had nothing inside their heads except clothes, mobile phones and narrating a fairytale about themselves having sex with girls and a horny 40-year-old women they come across and imagining penetrating their vaginas and sucking their nipples. I registered in Tishreen University at third year, I managed to transfer my documents to that platonic place. The professors didn’t like me, simply for participating in their lectures, and the fact that I spoke French, Spanish and a little bit Russian. As a consequence, I kept failing at University over and over. Moreover, I had different ideas, and University Professors are bigots and snobbish. Their opinion was the only one that matters. The impact of the mentioned earlier, had made my pain started with breakdowns, screaming my head off and security gathering around me like” what happened to you?”. Added to that, emotionally speaking, I had a horse sex drive in that Mohammadian society. Girls dressed in a way that said to male students, “come to me.”. The majority of women at that city showed their breasts, waist, legs, and what attracts me most their feet, especially, high heels, that gave them a very elegant look. For my good fortune, all I had in front of me was Pornographic DVDs and websites, so I kept masturbating from 11:30 pm until 10:00 am from night to daylight. Still wondering, how men attracted them, I didn’t have any idea, and the question kept circulating. I also hated the idea of marriage, especially that I always loved to live my life the way I fathomed. I didn’t like the idea of getting buried alive by being a bloody father and spend the rest of my life with only one Angry Factory, aka, one woman. The psychological problem kept increasing and started with depression; taking anti-depressants for a while and go back to my normal life when soothed down. I kept taking them every now and then. Students were not allowed to know about their mistakes at any cost, this was a University rule. Self-doubt has caused me to go to a neurologist who started doing me brain scans, simply, I just wanted to know why am I that stupid, for failing continuously and still I didn’t get an answer. I was always deprived of sleep, studying my arse off and my professors didn’t care seeing their students DIE and SUFFER in front of them. Everybody panicked from me, always avoided seeing me, treated as unusual man. At that time, due to the fact that I kept taking anti-depressants, they became ineffective and stopped giving me relief. Part of what killed me thousands of time when I’m still alive was realizing that I cannot become an MI6 agent at any cost. I simply wanted to do 1 % of what James Bond did, take notice, that I was not pursuing women, I was looking for action and suspense. I wanted to be stationed in the heart of ISIS or Spectre and operate in the shadows to protect Queen and Country. I didn’t like Hasan Nasrullah, Vladimir Putin who looked like a Bond villain or Ayatollah bloody Khomeini, even Ali Bin Abi Talib himself, and that’s why I was also crucified for being a James Bond fan. Family and friends made a laughing stock out of me. I started dinking excessively, and suicidal thoughts kept recurring to me. They didn’t stop driving me to bring a razor and wound myself to death, it wasn’t the MI6 job that destroyed me the most. It was self-doubt. Doubting my brain efficiency and abilities, and especially that I saw students whom I thought less capable to express themselves in English than I am. My family tried to see the professors in Tishreen University-Latakia, unsuccessfully. I simply couldn’t have any idea what is the main reason I kept failing over and over. How could I develop myself without knowing my mistakes?!!, I later told some people that I wanted to be an MI6 operative, I thought that might sooth my tension, however, it got things worse. I started attacking the professors while giving their lectures orally and physically. I also broke the classroom washbasin, and the entire classroom windows, then security staff gathered around me after 3 minutes, they were about to send me to an unknown destiny, later, everything stopped after the head of the English department told them not to take any action. The last problem I did was with World Literature professor, whose name is Noor AL Araby, she was a real bitch, I remembered studying her syllabus for a month, she told us that Virginia is not required for the exam, and she brought it. As a result of that, I wrote her three pornographic stories on the exam paper. Stories people see in Brazzers and Naughty America (Porn films companies). Everybody got pissed off, the story was about to be dragged from my house to a security branch for torture. Luckily, my uncle who was a Colonel in the Republican Guard he had connection to the President of the University, told the professor to drop out the case, but she was persistent to have my balls for Christmas decoration. She spread what I wrote her on the internet and about to send them to newspapers. My parents begged her not to and we had medical reports that proved that I had neurological and mental case. Then I was suspended from the University for years, from 2016, till now. She did all she could to destroy me to the utmost level. I was happy when I realized she got very agitated. Especially, there were students confirming that exam questions were paradoxical to the things she lectures about.

Suspension Time

At the time I was suspended it was a slow killer for me. Literary, I realized that I was the worst student in the history of the planet. I decided to follow Boxing, I remembered that I was fit enough for the game. I found out that I did well at round bouts on the ring. I could do sparring sessions, shadowboxing…etc. I was able to run at least 10kms per day, 300 sit-ups, 80 press ups and 20 pull-ups. I tried to be a champion but every time I kept persevering, in addition to that my left palm was broken and my right eye was wounded. I got cold and sick, and I realized that I had to spend at least 2 months with vaporizers, fertilizers and strong meds. I kept striving in Boxing with no success. I lost confidence in myself and felt humiliated. I said to myself, why didn’t I choose to work for the Syrian Secret Service, I went to the branches, and when they saw that I was discharged from the military because of diabetes type 1, they asked me to get lost. I was surprised when I found out that my dentist was an officer in the Ariel Intelligence in Syria, I told him the story, he said “this is not your fight, you might think that you can do well in the field, but your enemies are smarter than you, they know how they can take you down and destroy you once and for all. Second, we had people who kill targets, who can do silent killings, detonate and sabotage, whether male, or female, but they have nothing to lose, their parents are killed and very poor, working to make money, and you are a discharged, rich bastard and you want to join us. I’m surprised when you told me that. I was a James Bond fan like you, but believe me my friend, that the real intelligence work will never come up to your expectations. Once the film you watch finishes and the novel ends, go back to reality, what you look for does not exist. I realized that I couldn’t become an asset for MI6, or any spy agency in this world, I felt that I was under surveillance by my country. I knew that they could look at my messages, trace my location any time they wanted. That was not the real problem, suicidal thoughts and self-punishment ideas didn’t leave me. So, I talked to my uncle to send me to the Special Forces, or any Military Barracks to become a martyr, to take the bullets to my chest. I remembered when I drank wine bottle on my own, I told my parents that I wanted to wear a C4 charge belt and blow myself up inside ISIS. They were horrified, then I was unconscious and within minutes, I found myself inside the clinic, after I told my problem to the psychiatrist, about MI6 dream and the doubt that I’m under surveillance. He told my mother that I’m a Psychotic. I was injected with needles and medications that made me feel like cutting my head off. He also sent me to Damascus for electro-therapy (to take electricity directly to my brain). I also became a field of therapy by my Doctor, he was testing medications on me like Invega that made me shake while standing up. Hence, he decided to give me Zeldox 60 mg, second generation anti-psychotic. My only comfort was when I slept. Waking up to life while taking those meds was a curse. I lost my sexual drive (libido), I remember feeling dizzy all the time, I remember calling the doctor every time when I tell him about the side-effects concerning dizziness and loss of sexual drive, he kept telling me that what you say is incorrect and that it didn’t have any symptoms. By miracle, my father brought me lower dosage medication, life changed for me. I knew cat-houses in my city, every money woman I went to for an intercourse, they took a lot of money. They were abusing me. The sluts didn’t make me enjoy the intercourse the way I wanted. They were controlling me as well, and this is why I left them. After I told my psychiatrist that I reduced the dosage, he said that my condition will deteriorate. He confirmed to me that Chemistry in my brain was not right, then I told him to screw himself. Reducing the dosage had an effect as well. I remembered at a certain time that painkillers were like a bag of peanuts for me. And when night came I felt incredible fever in my head. I felt like being boiled alive. And I kept seeing nightmare afterwards, voices telling me that I will pay the price of reducing the medication dosage. Complete terror and horror kept chasing me for a very long time. After recovery, I logged into the James Bond groups on Facebook, they made me trivia to answer, did me a test about the James Bond 24 films from Dr.No 1962 to Spectre 2015. After I answered them all correctly, they called me Agent 00Zein. Made me an admin, and I had many friends from all around the world. In the 5th of October the global James Bond day , I celebrated with millions of the franchise fans. My great father, brought me a modern computer and IPhone X to follow up with these groups.

Nowadays, I’m not looking for immigration, nor women or anything else in this world. I have chosen to help my parents when they grow old, and help them. This is the best way I can pay them back. I decided to watch films about espionage world, read books, imagining the events and enjoy it fully and get my arse back to reality.

This is the only way; I cannot be punished.

I can imagine myself a soldier of 30 Assault Unit in Ian Fleming’s room 39 in WW2, or talking with Sir Alex Younger about my mission in VX or Whitehall. If not Sir Alex Younger, it could be Admiral Miles Messervy, Admiral Hargreaves, Madame Olivia Mansfield, or Lieutenant Colonel Gareth Mallory. And realize that” It was a matter of pride that the 00 Section has been chosen for this test. This painful experience kept coming back sometimes, notwithstanding, I have chosen to take with a pinch of salt, lol.

[hatsukeii]

hey! can i request some headcanons about how tsukki, kuroo, and kageyama would act if they had a really short s/o. i’m vv short and i feel like some headcanons about them teasing their short s/o is bound to have me laughing :)

Tysm for the request ahsgjs😳💕

Under 5’5 gang wya😔✌️

Btw these are for fem s/o because I don’t know how to write male s/o, sorry🥺

I mean you can totally imagine it as a male s/o those, it’s only bc I made a period joke that I say it’s for fem s/o:)

Tiny bit of thought up headcanon for the boys too, just a tiny bit.

Btw imagine their partner as one of the managers for the volleyball team, gives me more ideas to work with haha:DD

(Slight angst that I made up for Tsukki because no one knows where the fuck his dad is and I love him so much oh my god-)

🌊Kageyama🌊

- “Aww look at you cutie.”

- “Hey, smack that dumbass for me. I’m too tall to.”

- “Is that a dress for you?”

- Actually doesn’t constantly remind you of how short you are.

- Knows how genes work and understands there was almost nothing you could do to prevent being short.

- Doesn’t mean he won’t occasionally tease you for it though.

- “Oh? You want some milk? Is it to grow taller? Your bones probably need it. Here, have as much as you want-” *Smack.

- Thinks you look adorable when you’re mad.

- “You really expect me to feel threatened when you look like Kirby?”

- Piggyback rides all the time.

- “Tobio, I’m tired.”

- “Hop on.”

- You once slept over at his because of a storm after his volleyball training, without your parents knowing because they were on vacation.

- It was really late at night, and Kageyama didn’t want you going home yourself.

- This meant you didn’t have any clothes.

- I mean yeah you brought extra shorts to school because of your time of the month, but you didn’t have a shirt.

- “You can borrow mine, don’t worry. Go clean yourself up.”

- You came out of his bathroom, and he almost passed out.

- “Wh-why arent you wearing any pan-”

- “I’m wearing shorts under this. Your shirt’s just really long.”

- He was so flustered he avoided looking anywhere under your torso for an hour.

- “Thanks for letting me stay over last week, here’s your shirt back.”

- “Keep it. It looks cute on you and I get to see you wear a makeshift dress.”

- Cuddle sessions are great.

- You can lie on him in any position, and he would still be able to reach out and grab your hand or play with your hair.

- He gets to be the big spoon, and he loves it.

- Protecting you is Kageyama’s new duty.

- He takes it a bit too seriously.

- He once threw Tsukishima into a wall because the middle blocker decided it would be a good idea to take your phone and go through it.

- “Do that one more time, and I’ll do something way worse than that.”

- He looked like he was about to go on a killing spree.

- Even Tsukishima was taken aback. He hasn’t messed with you since.

- Whenever Hinata does something stupid, you’re on smack duty.

- Apparently Kageyama’s “too tall” to do it.

- It’s a bit hard for you to give him forehead kisses, or cute little cheek pecks.

- But he doesn’t mind at all.

- Because he fell in love with your short cutie pie kirby chipmunk tiny ass, and he wouldn’t change anything about you.

♠️Kuroo♠️

- Makes fun of you like at least 3 times a day about your height.

- “How’s it feel like to be like shrimpy over there?”

- “Oh, sorry, I can’t hear you whining from down there.”

- “I’d totally let you kill me, provided you can reach my neck.”

- Knows not to make you mad though.

- Last time he decided to tease you by holding the coffee you brought to school above his head.

- You pounced onto his back and choked him with your arms until he gave you the cold brew you got from Starbucks.

- Being his short girlfriend had its advantages though.

- Kuroo, being the extra™️ boy he is, can pick your tiny body up with ease.

- Meaning whenever he hugged you, he’d pick you up and spin you around like in a broadway musical.

- After that, he would continue to hold you up and nuzzle your head into his neck while laughing about that grand gesture.

- Loves it when you wrap your legs around him while he gives you piggyback rides.

- You once fell asleep on his back.

- So he brought you home and carried you up to your room in a bridal carry.

- Likes to play with your hair while waiting for the bus with you.

- Also like to hoist you over his shoulder when you get annoyed just for shits and giggles.

- Likes to give you nose kisses. A lot.

- He knows you’re tiny, but that doesn’t mean he thinks you’re weak.

- He knows fully well your fiery ass will stick up for yourself, so he’s not super pressed about it when people make fun of your height.

- However he will get protective if he’s thinks you’re starting to get offended by the comments.

- Likes to compare you to Kenma, much to his annoyance.

- “I am nowhere near as short as your girlfriend Kuroo fuck off.”

- Likes to go on trampoline park dates.

- Wants to see how high you can jump. (Spoiler alert: pretty fucking high.)

- Tries his best to get onto the wall every time you guys go there, but always fails.

- You just sit on top of the wall staring back down at him, enjoying the temporary height you have.

- “Kuroo, how’s the weather down there?”

- “Screw you!”

- Laughs his ass off at your random outbursts in the morning when you haven’t finished your coffee.

- Holds your head back when you try and punch him.

- Secretly wants to see you mad, because you look so fucking cute.

- Compares you to fluffy things like marshmallows and chipmunks.

- “You look like a baby squirrel, I love you.”

- And whenever he says that, he means it.

- He would take your short ass over anyone anyday. No questions asked.

🌙Tsukishima🌙

- *Breathes in deeply* Here we go.

- Will not stop fucking making fun of your height.

- I repeat: Will NOT.

- “Hey shorty.”

- “You can’t fight me. You can’t even reach my shoulders.”

- Balances his stuff on your head when he’s going through his bag.

- Uses your head like an armrest.

- He once balanced his water bottle on your head, and you spilled the water all over him.

- You were laughing your ass off at how pissed he was.

- No one in your classes knows how you two ended up together.

- It doesn’t matter at all though.

- Your first kiss was awkward, to say the least.

- He has to bend down a whole ass 20-30 centimetres to reach you.

- Couldn’t be happier when it happened though.

- The entire Karasuno volleyball team was watching secretly.

- From then on, you two have been the power couple of the school.

- You guys didn’t seem like a couple though.

- You two playfully banter so much other students that didn’t know you guys thought you were enemies.

- Now onto the advantages of being Tsukishima’s short partner.

- One thing Tsukishima is great at, is being a bodyguard.

- Anyone else that makes fun of your height will be destroyed.

- He once blocked a ball and aimed it at Lev’s face during the training camp because the Russian told you you were “too short to be Tsukishima’s girlfriend” and that there was “no way you guys are dating.”

- It took half an hour to stop his nose from bleeding.

- No he didn’t break Lev’s nose, just made it bleed.

- Thinks you’re the absolute best at cuddling with him.

- Made you a dinosaur plush. Made. Not bought.

- Watching dinosaur documentaries curled up on Tsukishima’s chest while he strokes your hair and gives you forehead kisses is the best feeling in the world.

- When times call for it though you don’t hesitate to give the blond affection even if you’re a small bean that has to be protected.

- There was this one time before the match against Shiratorizawa, where Tsukishima had a huge anxiety attack in the middle of the night. Like 2am in the middle of the night.

- “Hey- Love are you okay?”

- “Plea-please, help, I’m- please, there’s no one home I need someone-”

- “I’ll be right here, give me five minutes.”

- With both your parents gone for a very long business trip, you basically zoomed to Tsukishima’s house. His brother was in his university dorm for the night because of early morning training the next day.

- Being the bad bitch you were you picked the lock to his house and swung open the door to him room, to see his tall figure curled up in the corner of his room on the floor, shaking, strained sobs coming out of his mouth.

- You kneeled down next to him, burying his head in your sweater, cradling his head while he sobbed.

- “My dad... he’s dead. Fucking dead. I was waiting for him to come back from Tokyo but then mom fucking called and he got hit by some drunk hunk of shit and now I don’t know what the fuck I can do-“

- “Oh shit... it’s okay, cry it out, it’s fine, shhh...”

- This went on for about half an hour. Just you, letting him whimper and sob into your sweater while you whispered sweet nothings into his ear.

- It was that night, that he realised he had fallen in love with your pipsqueak ass.

Whooo Jesus got a bit carried away there, I don’t care though, I like writing angst anyways lmao I’m keeping that in and using it for fanfictions someday;)

[passionate-reply]

Great Albums is back! This week, we’ll take a look at one of the greatest electronic albums of all time, Kraftwerk’s The Man-Machine, and try to avoid getting sued by Ralf Huetter! Full transcript for the video can be found below the break. Enjoy!

Growing up, my main genre of choice was 80s synth-pop, and while the deep influence of Kraftwerk is as significant there as it is everywhere else in electronic music, I was one of those people who initially saw them as somewhat "intimidating." Today, moreso than ever, Kraftwerk are held up as one of those more high-brow or cerebral groups with a philosophy that transcends mere pop or dance music, which makes them seem respectable, a kind of “model minority” in the world of music outside rock. While I don’t buy into the judgmental quality of that sort of praise, which damns so many of Kraftwerk’s greatest fans and imitators, I did get the sense, as a child, that these hoity-toity Germans, working with primitive equipment way back in the 1970s, might not be what I was looking for in a new favourite band. That was before I heard The Man-Machine.

While it’s certainly true that Kraftwerk were a highly experimental band in their own time, they’re one of those acts whose ideas have deeply permeated contemporary music, to the point where their actual work is extremely approachable and listenable to today’s ears. Of all the fairly early electronic acts, who started making this kind of music before it began to become mainstream in the late 70s, Kraftwerk are almost certainly the ones people nowadays listen to for pleasure the most, and that’s no accident. While their earlier albums like Trans-Europe Express took more overt inspiration from classical music, The Man-Machine was their first great foray into the arena of pop, which I think is key to why it resonates with people. For evidence of that, look no further than the biggest mainstream hit of Kraftwerk’s career, “The Model.”

I think it’s easy to see why “The Model'' became a hit single. Sure, it may not have the most traditional pop song structure, let alone instrumentation, but unlike a lot of what Kraftwerk had done before, it’s got a lot of lyrics and a real sense of narrative. Plus, that narrative we get is about a person and not a machine--a good-looking person, in whom the narrator is sexually interested. It’s the perfect pop material. Of course, I would be remiss to mention that “The Model” didn’t achieve all of its success until the single was re-released in many markets in 1981, and in those few years, the idea of “synth-pop” advanced significantly in the charts and popular consciousness. By the time “The Model” was a hit, Kraftwerk admirers were already taking over: look no further than Gary Numan’s "Cars” or OMD’s "Enola Gay,” two synth-pop classics that, it must be said, are still about vehicles!

That aside, though, not everything on The Man-Machine sounds like “The Model”--in fact, it’s surrounded by tracks that have much more in common with Kraftwerk’s earlier LPs. Literally surrounded, in the track listing. I think that adds to this album’s appeal as an ideal entry point into their catalogue: it has some things that sound familiar, while also preparing you for what else you’ll encounter if you choose to probe deeper into the band. The Man-Machine has the least homogeneous profile of any Kraftwerk album. While most of their other classic albums are highly cohesive “song cycles” that almost blend into one long song when you listen to them in full, The Man-Machine doesn’t really have those repeated melodies and motifs that tie its tracks together. While many people, especially fans of psychedelic and progressive rock, really like those cohesive albums, I think this change is a welcome one. It gives the individual tracks a bit more room to breathe and express distinctive identities, and makes the album feel a bit more pop, even if the material itself isn’t always all that poppy. *The Man-Machine* actually only has six individual tracks; they range in length from the three-minute pop stylings of “The Model” to the urban sprawl of “Neon Lights,” which luxuriates in an almost nine-minute runtime.

Given that the average track length is around six minutes, I’m almost tempted to think of The Man-Machine as six tiny Kraftwerk albums, or at least, musical ideas that could have been expanded into full LPs in another universe. “Neon Lights” and “Spacelab” feel dreamy and easy-going, with floating melodies that draw from the “cosmic music” scene, one of the many emergent styles that began as something uniquely German and spread throughout the world--in this case, becoming an important forerunner to ambient electronic music through acts like Tangerine Dream. Meanwhile, the hard, tick-tocking rhythms of “Metropolis” and the title track point to the newfound focus on rhythm and the so-called motorik beat that made the music of Neu! so compelling.

The Man-Machine can serve not only as an introduction to Kraftwerk, but also as a sort of crash course in this entire period of electronic music, showcasing some of the most distinctive and influential features of the German scene, as well as the shape of synth-pop to come. It’s a complex and busy historical moment with huge ramifications for almost all of subsequent electronic music, and The Man-Machine really creates a microcosm of that whole environment. There’s also the fact that each side of the record has one track from each of my three broad groups, like an expertly-designed sushi platter or charcuterie board for us to sample from, and they both follow the same formula: a pop appetizer, a cosmic *entree,* and motorik for dessert.

*The Man-Machine* also has what is almost certainly the most iconic cover of any of Kraftwerk’s LPs. This is how lots of us still picture them in our minds, and it’s inspired tons of parodies and riffs over the years. I think all of that acclaim is deserved! Emil Schult’s graphic design for the album was heavily inspired by avant-garde Soviet artists of the 10s and 20s, chiefly El Lissitzky. These visual artists used their art to express their hope for a new world, defined by the promise of technology, and their literally revolutionary philosophy--so what could be a better match for Kraftwerk’s electronic revolution in music? Lissitzky used bright, primary colours, straight lines, and geometric shapes to convey the “built environment” of modern cities and man-made architecture, and you’ve got all the same sentiment on display here. The use of strong diagonals really draws the eye and lends this image a lot of continued visual interest. It’s also worth noting the extent to which Kraftwerk’s aesthetics inspired later electronic acts almost as powerfully as their sound. When you picture an electronic band, and get a mental image of stiff and stone-faced musicians behind synthesisers wearing shirts and ties, you can certainly thank Kraftwerk for that, as well.

I also love the title of The Man-Machine! The relationship between people and technology is one of, if not the, most central themes in Kraftwerk’s entire discography, which is full of references to anthropomorphic machines as well as mechanically-mediated humans. The particular choice of the phrase “man-machine,” as opposed to words like “android,” has a fun vintage flair to it, which matches the use of early 20th Century visual art quite nicely.

As might be expected from the album’s stylistic diversity, *The Man-Machine* would prove to be something of a transition point in Kraftwerk’s career. Their 1981 follow-up, Computer World, would return to the song cycle format, but with increasing emphasis on ideas from the pop sphere, championed by percussionist Karl Bartos. By the time of the last classic-lineup Kraftwerk LP, 1986’s Electric Cafe, they had not only amped up the pop, but also incorporated influence from the electronic dance music of the time. Ultimately, Bartos would leave the group, chiefly due to discontent with his treatment by founding members Ralf Huetter and Florian Schneider-Esleben, and their persistent lack of musical productivity.

On a somewhat lighter note, my personal favourite track on this album is its opener, “The Robots.” Per my typology from earlier, I classified this as a pop-oriented song, and it certainly is an approachable one that’s proven to be quite popular. But it’s got just enough more experimental touches to keep things quite interesting. From an ominous, dissonant intro, a slightly more pop form, hinting at a verse/chorus structure, soon emerges and contrasts. I love the groove of the rhythm and percussion here, as well as the very heavy vocoder, rich in texture and certainly a Kraftwerk staple.

While the lyrics can be read as sort of light and silly, I like to think that the robots in question might also be dangerous. The track “Metropolis” seems to reference the seminal 1927 silent film of the same name, which is famous for its portrayal of an evil, mechanical doppelganger. Likewise, the choice to translate the lyrics of the song’s interlude into Russian is likely inspired by another great work of art from this era: the stage play R.U.R.--Rossum’s Universal Robots. Written by Karel Čapek in 1922, it’s the progenitor of the “robot revolution” trope in science fiction, the source of the word “robot” for autonomous machines in almost every human language, and one of the first entries in the illustrious career of an author who helped make Czech a true literary language. While the titular robots take time to assure us that they’re programmed to do what we humans want, should we really trust them...?

[fenweak]

As requested! This rec list features Kazer Kid Fics -- Jonny and Patrick both with kids and babies AND as kids and babies, with a small dash of de-aging and a spoonful of mpreg. 

⭐ for my personal faves

My Other Rec Lists 🍭 Rec me a fic? 🍭

The Ones Where They Have Kids

No Capes by sorrylatenew ⭐ - j/p as parents; implied mpreg

Husbands. Dads. Retired superheroes.

The Reeducation of Misters Kane and Toews + timestamp by jezziejay - single dad Patrick, teacher Jonny  ⭐

In which Kaner sort of has a kid, and Mr. Toews doesn't know which of them is the bigger brat.

AU featuring teacher!Jon and hockey-player!Kaner. With bonus 'Hawks characters, love notes, pasta jewelry, Be Better Pizzas, pirouettes, a sprinke of angst and guest appearance by Derek Jeter.

trust your intuition (it's just like goin' fishin') by poeelektra - 1988 as parents

They’re on the periphery of the Home Wares section of Target, heading with purposeful stride toward Sporting Goods, when Gabe declares that he wants a doll for his “Been Good” toy.

Every Little Thing He Does (is magic) by jezziejay - single dad Patrick

Jonny Toews is a bewitching man who moves into a mysterious mansion in a small town. Soon, he opens Bell, Book & Candle, a curiosity shop full of candles, lotions, etc., and is enthralling the children of local police chief (Patrick Kane), who believe he is a witch (but not a bad one.) But not everyone in town is appreciative of their quirky new neighbor, and it may take a little bit of magic for him to truly become part of the community.

Under Cover by heartstrings - 1988 as parents

"Just get in the fucking blanket fort, Kaner."

Feels Like Family To Me + prequels by exmanhater - 1988 as parents

Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane plan, create, and obtain their family.

living next door to alice series by cinderlily - 1988 as parents

"It started with a phone call."Patrick and Jonny are suddenly given the opportunity to be parents. This is how they stumble through it.

some say love is a burning thing podfic by exmanhater - 1988 as parents

If anyone had told Johnny upon entering the NHL that thirteen years later he'd not only have a kid with Patrick Kane, but would be getting ready to go on a 'date night,’ he'd have said they must be smoking some pretty good shit.And then he'd have to wait a decade to eat his words.

In the Middle of the Night - 1988 as parents

Gone are the days when it took a cold, wet washcloth on his face to wake him up. Or: Five times Pat and Jonny's daughter wakes them up, plus one time they wake her up.

so show me family - single dad Patrick

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

Fill It Up With Love by Frosting50 - single dad Pat; implied mpreg

So Pat’s senior year doesn’t turn out exactly like he’d planned. He still gets his degree in accounting, but he also gets a little girl named Emma. She’s all fat pink cheeks, curly brown hair, and blue eyes. She might have Ryan’s chin, but she’s all Pat’s. And the first time she falls asleep on his chest, chubby hand curled around his thumb, skin so soft and sweet he damn-near feels bowled over with how much he loves her. He didn’t know he could love anyone so much; it makes his heart feel too big for his chest, and he knows that he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to give her the world.

peas & carrots by altri_uccelli - 1988 as parents

Unapologetic Halloween fluff, or: Jonny forgets what day it is, but Kaner's on it.

Can You Lyft Me Up? by Mullsandmutts - single dad Patrick

Even high profile athletes like Chicago Blackhawks Captain Jonathan Toews are forced to utilize paid transportation from time to time. An accidental "share my ride" selection on an app results in a life-altering ride with an mouthy Russian driver (Artemi), an unfairly attractive single father (Patrick Kane) and his adorable sassy (and color-matching-challenged) preschool daughter (introducing Molly Donna Patricia Amelia Kane aka Mo). Jonathan refuses to feel too sketch when he negotiates a plan with the driver to "accidentally" have more shared rides with his new friends. When Mo has a traumatic incident at day camp, Patrick's heart is broken and Jonny enlists the help of Temi and the ever-meddling Patrick Sharp to get smiles back on both Kane faces. Jonathan finds himself more and more drawn to Patrick but Patrick's fears of being a good enough parent for Mo and meeting all of her needs could keep them apart. Will Temi, the Sharp family and a trio of nosy aunts in Buffalo be enough to help Jonathan and Patrick realize what they could have together or will Patrick's stubbornness and Jonathan's fear of ruining their friendship keep them apart? Stay tuned to find out ....

Three by Linsky - i won’t spoil it 

Patrick doesn’t think he’s a pervert. But how would he know? Maybe a pervert is just a thing you are, and it doesn’t feel any different from being a normal person, until you do something perverted. Maybe that’s him.After all, he does have two names on his wrist.

All Your Memories by toewsandconfused - 1988 as parents; amnesiafic

Pat went to sleep a bachelor in the Trump Towers and woke up next to Jonny in the suburbs with three kids calling him Daddy. Struggling to figure out his new reality Patrick had ruled out dream, was banking on delusion because even though it meant he was losing his mind, it seemed safer than some kind of late-onset amnesia. He didn’t want to face that idea that this really was his life; that Jonny was his, that those beautiful kids were his, and he couldn’t remember any of it. The idea that the memories of their life together could be lost forever was too terrifying to deal with. Losing his mind was preferable to losing his memories.

Chelsea, Chelsea I Believe by empathapathique - single dad Pat ⭐

Patrick meets a girl his rookie year.

Don't Let Go by aohatsu - 1988 as adoptive parents

“So you were already with the boy you saved when the fire started?”Patrick pauses, but shakes his head. “No, there was an explosion—I don’t really know what it was, but then it was just me and Tigre, and it’s like, in a situation like that, you don’t really think? You just do. So I grabbed the kid and went through the fire escape. It’s not like I decided I wanted to save anybody, it was just the only option.”

Always Be My Baby by juliusschmidt - single dad Patrick

The thing is, you don’t just grow up once.

as careless as you are certain - single dad Patrick 

March through August, 2015.

the one with the baby yentas series by forochel

Tazer has a son and Kaner is his son's kindergarten teacher.

It's the Magic of Risking Everything by conformityissuicide - single dad Jonny

When Jonny is thirteen he meets a small kid from Buffalo at a hockey tournament.

Then he has a gay crisis, a baby girl, and gets drafted 3rd overall by an Original Six franchise.

When he meets Patrick Kane again at prospect camp he doesn’t feel anything but excitement.

And then it all goes to hell.

"of gifts and fireflies" by huntersandangels - single dad Jon

Patrick Kane hasn’t lived a charmed life despite money flowing through his veins. The journey he is currently on, though paved with good intentions, proves to be a harder challenge than he could ever be ready for. The people he meets along the way give him a much more valued gift than his grandfather could ever dream of giving him. 

I'm gonna love you til my lungs give out by arenadomatthews - 1988 as parents

“Papa, Dad, you guys are retiring today?” Bryan asks, looking up at his parents.“Yeah buddy, we are. Are you gonna behave while Dad and I are doing our press conference?” Patrick asks.

“Duh, Dad. I'm not a baby anymore,” he scoffs.

“He's right, Pat. He's our big boy now,” Jonny adds.

“Yeah, I'm going into 4th grade,” Bryan boasts pridefully.Patrick and Jonathan are finally announcing their retirement after 20 NHL seasons. However, their retirement ceremony will come with a twist: they'll be publicly coming out and revealing their family

Your Daddy's Aim Is True by thefourthvine; podfic by isweedan - cup wish baby! ⭐

patch it up by gasmsinc - 1988 as parents

Jonny stares at his daughter for a long moment. She stares back, eyes unwavering. She has Kaner’s baby blues, but at five she’s already mastered Jonny’s dead on the inside stare. Her kindergarten teacher claims she uses the unwavering look to bully other students into doing what she wants, and it’s something they should work on at home, but Jonny’s baby is a natural born leader, and he’s not going to get in her way of becoming the president, or, better yet, the supreme ruler of the universe.

Your patch,” says Jonny.

Baby, It's Hot Outside by toewsyourheart - single dad Pat 

 Jonny goes for a popsicle and gets a little bit more than he bargained for.

Take All That's Left - divorced single dad Pat

It’s been 6 years now, and he’s grown to enjoy the city since signing with the Rangers to follow Anna, who’d found a job in Brooklyn.

But Chicago; Chicago was Patrick’s first love, all his important firsts – it’s all been hers, and having to leave had been heartbreaking. Too many memories from Chicago were heartbreaking, and yet he always yearned for the city, always felt more comfortable walking her streets than any other place in the world. No other place quite felt like home the way Chicago did.

Isn’t She Lovely by windsthatwhisper + podfic by kanetcews (lavenderharry) - wish baby!

It's nine in the morning when Pat and Jonny stumble down the stairs, sluggish with sleep.

There’s a baby carrier on the kitchen island.

Jonny blinks, blinks again, then turns to get a cup of coffee.

Recreation, Entertainment, Art, or Sport by trademarkgiggle

of course jonathan toews can juggle

so show me family series by peeks, tazer - teacher Pat

“Just admit you like him.”

“Shut up, Sharpy,” Patrick says, before he rolls his eyes and tries to ignore the smirk widening on Sharpy’s lips. “Don’t you have your kids’ parents to bother?”

“No, my last kid left a couple minutes ago, so I’m totally here to watch you and Jonathan Toews make heart eyes at each other,” Sharpy laughs, waltzing into Patrick’s classroom. He immediately makes his way to see Sadie, who greets her dad with a hug.

(In which Patrick Kane is terrible at feelings but luckily, Patrick Sharp is a total bro.)

The Ones Where They’re With Kids

In My Blood and In My Bones + Nothing Sweet or Gentle by fourfreedoms ⭐

Patrick’s not really into dudes—he’s done that whole thing a couple of times—that’s rock-n-roll after all, but god, when Jonathan smiles, he looks really good.Johnny is a nanny. Patrick's a musician. They fall in love. Inspired by the movie What Maisie Knew.

the kids are alright

Patrick works at the sporting goods store Jonny takes his peewee team to for equipment.

given to us as free-flying souls by Mayhem10

Jonathan had never really considered himself particularly good with kids. He didn’t avoid them or anything and it’s not like they burst into tears when they saw his face, but he never was exactly sure what to do with them, these little people running around at waist height. It just wasn’t his area.So, of course, Patrick was basically the child whisperer.

(or five times Jonathan saw Patrick with kids and one time Patrick saw him)

Hide Your Face So The World Will Never Find You (Paper Faces On Parade) by huntersandangels

Jonathan Toews, farm owner and guardian of his nephew, is in desperate need of capable farm hands. Patrick Kane certainly does not fit the description but when a mutual friend confides in him that Patrick has lost everything he owned and is in serious need himself and offers Jonathan money to hire him, how can he say no?

Patrick Kane loves statistics and spending his money on thoroughly planned ‘adventures’ for his friends when he’s not partying away the rest of his fortune. If he wins the bet he can continue to plot freely but if he loses his extra curriculum activities have to stop. He agrees to go on an ‘adventure’ himself and settles in the Toews Farm posing as a farm hand. But as the time goes by, the less pretend it feels-and the more he enjoys Jonathan and Etienne’s company and the quite life in the farm; to the point where he’s not sure whether he wants to win the bet or lose...

Baby, You're the One by jezziejay ⭐

6k words of Jonathan Toews having feelings about babies. And feelings about Kaner. And feelings about putting a baby in Kaner.

The Ones Where They Are Kids

The Cat and the Fiddle series by james - childhood soulmates!

When Donna's son is four, he creates an imaginary friend.

i want to know what you know by sointimate - childhood sweethearts

Patrick is six years old and he's about to do the scariest thing he's ever done in his whole life.

Colorblind by july_v ⭐

Jon is five when he meets Patrick. It's also the time he begins to understand colors as more than an abstract concept.

How to become a man  series+ coda by liketheroad, mockturtletale

In which Kaner gets spontaneously de-aged into a six-year-old, and he and Tazer both have a lot of growing up to do.

Romper Room by james - de-aged 1988

Sharpie doesn't really think this should be part of his duty as alternate captain. Luckily, none of this is his fault. A.K.A., the one where Kaner and Johnny are five.

you ruined everything in the best way by thisissirius + podfic by exmanhater .⭐ - de-aged Saader

Kaner's looking down at the kid, though, frowning. He crouches down. "Hey, kid, where are your parents?

"The kid's bottom lip juts out and starts wobbling. Fuck, that means he's going to start crying, right?

"Oh shi—oot, kid, don't cry," Kaner says. "I mean, if you don't know where they are, we can find 'em?"

"Kaner," Sharpy presses. "That's Saad."

don't worry about your body - de-aged Jonny

No one said anything. Everyone stared at each other then down at the tiny human being that was standing where Jonny had been. Kaner felt his mouth go entirely dry, and his stomach drop out from underneath him.

What the fuck, man.

Can You Picture It? by RemyJane

In which Kaner turns into a baby and everyone besides Jonny seems to understand. Includes excessive cuddling, ridiculously adorable baby-Kaner, and feelings. Jonny eventually figures everything out.

Never Getting That Shirt Back by ice_hot_13 - de-aged Pat

Patrick is de-aged into a toddler, and when he's with Jonny, he isn't a holy terror.

Je T'aime by banks99 (Nodiggity15) - de-aged Jonny

“He won’t take a bath. He’s arguing with me. It’s like he didn’t even change at all.” Kaner’s not pouting, fuck you very much.

MPREG

I Got a Love (That Keeps Me Waiting) by svmadelyn ⭐ -mpreg!pat

There's a lot of different ways this summary could go, like:Patrick Kane gets more than a gold medal in Sochi.

Or, the classic: It's too late to pull out now.Or: Patrick Kane continues to thrive in high pressure situations.Or: Patrick Kane gets knocked up, goes to White Castle, and finds love, not necessarily in that order.

But, ultimately, all that really matters is this: Patrick Kane is keeping his baby.

private passions and secret storms (all the secrets series) by CoffeeKristin, Frosting50  - mpreg!pat

Jonny’s life is good - great even. He loves Patrick and their kids, and even if they don’t always have time for each other, he wouldn’t trade it for anything. But when Jeff Carter comes into his life, Jonny’s world gets turned upside down. It’s going to take everything he’s got to convince Patrick to give him a second - maybe even a third - chance.

Patrick’s blindsided by Jonny’s betrayal and putting his family back together is a lot harder than he expected when their past comes back to haunt them.Can love conquer all?

Forever & Always, My Baby You'll Be by windsthatwhisper - mpreg!jonny

Jonny and Pat's life is a cycle of curse words, late night feedings, and five minute handjobs in the hallway closet.

Aka, I wanted some 1988 w/ a baby feels so I wrote this blurb of a thing in about seven minutes.

efficacy by thirteentorafters - mpreg!patrick

“You,” Patrick says, jabbing a finger angrily at Jonny. “Are gonna fucking help me, dickface.”

Opening his mouth to ask what the hell is going on; Jonny’s eyes drop to Patrick’s stomach. Jonny is acquainted with Patrick’s naked body and the last time they met, Patrick wasn’t fat. Or paunchy. Except that doesn’t look like usual fat. “Oh fuck.”

“Yeah, ‘oh fuck’,” Patrick says, imitating Jonny’s tone. “You knocked me up, asshole. What are you gonna do about it?”

Forever & Always, My Baby You'll Be by windsthatwhisper - mpreg!jonny

Jonny and Pat's life is a cycle of curse words, late night feedings, and five minute handjobs in the hallway closet.

Looked So Fine (I Just Had To Speak) by svmadelyn - !!!! ⭐

Patrick Kane’s talking penis maintains a ‘to do’ list. It is as follows:1. Jonathan Toews

Phone Tag by hawkeytime (jayyloo) - mpreg!Jonny

"Hi mom. Sorry I couldn’t catch you, so I guess I’ll just, uh.. leave a message. See, the thing is… my super-potent sperm may or may not have managed to knock Jonny up. Okay bye."

"Yes, hello, is this Hockey Canada? I just want it written on the record, today, June 31, 2015, that my incredibly improbable unborn child with Jonathan Toews will be playing for America. Yes, I’ll hold.

"Or: Pat accidentally knocks Jonny up. A saga told in a series of voicemails

A Royal Baby - mpreg!Pat

A cough from the doorway cuts Seabs off mid sentence. Duncs is standing watching them, a particularly somber expression on his face. "Jonny, I'm sorry to interrupt but you have a visitor that you'll want to go see right away.""Now really isn't a good time," Jonny tells him, not even putting down his fork."Trust me Your Highness," Duncs says, "This will be worth it."

[Patrick and Jonathan think their time brief time together at the Olympics is all they can ever have. Patrick's ensuing pregnancy proves otherwise.]

sun sweet berries of the earth series by gasmsinc - mpreg!Pat; a/b/o

There is a spirit living in Patrick State Park.“Listen,” says Jonny. “I didn’t mean to step on your crown.”The spirit’s bottom lip wobbles.

Tame the Roads That Can't Be Tamed by Linsky - mpreg!Pat; a/b/o

Patrick’s flown a million times. He’s never gotten airsick before. Even on last year’s epic flight to Denver, when they hit massive turbulence and half the team was groaning over barf bags, Patrick’s stomach was fine. And maybe he’s sick, sure—but why doesn’t he feel sick the rest of the time? Why is it only mornings and—

Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh fucking no.

(Or: In which it is difficult to be a wolf in the NHL, especially when you're not that good at condoms.)

Carve His Name With Pride ⭐  - mpreg!Jonny

Jonny leaves behind a home, a house, and a hockey career the month after he learns that he’s pregnant.

Eyass - mpreg!Jonny

"I dunno," Kaner tells him. "Whatever you need, man. You’re having a baby! That’s a lot of work. I want to be here for you."

Somehow, in the dozens of conversations he’s had with teammates and friends and family in the past few days, no one has said those exact words to Jonny: “you’re having a baby”. He has to comb his fingers through his hair and take a deep, steadying breath to compose himself.

Kaner notices and smiles at him; a crooked, beautiful thing. “It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?”

Heartburn and Survival by dedougal  - mpreg!Jonny

They were in Canada when Jonny found out he was pregnant. Afterwards, Jonny used that as a point in his bulleted list of arguments about why Jack should represent Canada but, to be entirely truthful, finding out in Canada - finding out anywhere - was pretty disastrous.

Three Cups and a Pup by Miss_Psychotic, nommedeplume  - mpreg!Patrick

The Story of Alpha Jonny and Omega Kaner getting their shit together and learning how to be Adulting Adults (Finally)

Chips and Cribs by whatislife - mpreg!Jonny

“What do you mean there are no chips,” Jonny asks from where he is standing by the island, hand resting on his stomach. “Weren’t they on the list? Did you not buy them?”(Patrick just wants to sleep.)

[dcarhcarts]

(oop late but) i don’t want any other life, and i can’t, for i know no other. (marya @ sonya!) (friends??)

“Still, you mustn’t abandon yourself like that.” Her brows knit and she reaches across to press the hands of her dear friend tenderly. Sonya lives relatively content in her world of sitting off to the side in drawing rooms and accompanying Natasha on the piano when she sings. Sonya has grown used to it all - used to being the friend, the confidant, the keeper, the girl who watches with closed-off, careful eyes. But she knows - she knows deep down that it cannot always be like that - that while there is joy in giving there is only so much of oneself one can give away before there’s nothing left. “Masha, you of all people are deserving of so much more happiness. Certainly, you’ve more kindness in your little finger than most people possess their entire lives.”

@personnages || war & peace starters

[bella-spil]

2 Romeos and 1 Juliet

2 Romeos & 1 Juliet Series- Part 1

Readers back story.  Female reader.

Warnings: none, i think :)

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: This story was not my idea. @kmuir1​ had the idea.  I found a post requesting Bucky and Loki fighting for the readers love and I loved the idea, so I thought I would bring it to life.  There is going to be 8 parts in total, and idk when I will post.  I have to finish the other Bucky x reader series, and I will, soon.  Hope you enjoy!

Taglist (lmk if you want to join!) @kmuir1​ @wednesday-add-em​ @angrythingstarlight​

You were always alone.  Right from the day you were born.  You never had a real family or a home to call your own, not even friends.  The family you did have wasn't normal though.  They weren't human.

After you were born, you were left by a dumpster on the side of the road in a small town, just north of the capital of Russia.  You were found by a pack of wolves.  The only thing on you to keep you warm was a blanket and a name tag, saying Y/N.  

The wolves of course expected you to be scared or cry, but you were only a baby, and found the wolves interesting.  So the wolves took you into the mountains, very high up.  When you got there, there were more wolves than took you before, and that was about five.  But, the wolves were not alone.  There was a lady as well.  Her name was Rose.  She was about 20 years old and once the wolves brought you to her, she knew she would take care of you forever.  

She nursed you to health, taught you how to speak English, Sokovian and Russian and a bunch of other things before you were 10 years old.  But when you turned 13, Rose gave you something that changed your life forever.  She gave you a special plant that gave you superhuman powers.  The plant was incredibly rare, that not even scientists have discovered it yet.  Rose explained to you why she lived in the mountains with the wolves, to protect the plant at all costs.

When you ate the plant, you felt like a new person all together.  The plant gave you an immense array of powers.  Your eyesight had heightened to the point where you could see up to 50,000 feet away.  You could hear something as quiet as a raindrop from 45,000 feet away.  Your sense of smell allowed you to smell a drop of blood from over 10 miles away.  You also had advanced fighting skills.  But, the main power was to transform into a wolf at will.  You could change the color of your fur from a dark brown to a snow white.  Your main fur color was snow white, which was extremely rare.  You also learned how to communicate as a wolf, which grunts and growls meant certain things, when to howl and how to attack.  

But people who lived near the mountains were not friendly.  H.Y.D.R.A. had a base at the mountains as well.  They were situated there to try to get the plant from you and the wolves, but had a hard time because of you.  The H.Y.D.R.A. soldiers called you "The White Rose" because you had a very pretty white coat, one that made you look innocent, but every rose has its thorns, and yours showed whenever you attacked someone.  You liked the name they soldiers gave you, you liked to make people intimidated.

When you were about 19, you were going to the H.Y.D.R.A. base to destroy it once and for all.  You had your signature white fur one, to blend into the snow.  You were hiding in the snow when you saw a helicopter land on the roof of the building, but one that didn't have a H.Y.D.R.A. symbol on it.  You got suspicious and started to make your way to the building when you heard gunfire.  You rushed into the building to start attacking, but you weren't the only one fighting.  There was a team of four inside as well.

There was an African American man, who had robotic wings and a little drone.  There was a man with a shield that bore the American flag.  There was a female with red hair, very good at hand to hand combat you noticed, taking out a lot of the soldiers.  And then there was a man with long dark hair, with a gun and a metal arm.  Once the people stopped the soldiers, they noticed you.  You were watching them from across the room, with small patches of blood on your white fur.  The man with the drone and metal wings approached you and went to pet you, probably on a bet you thought.  The man thought you would just run off afraid of him, but you pounced on him, you claws digging into his shoulders.  The other three sat there in terror, but the female and the male with long hair pointed their guns at you.  You knew you were compromised.

You got off the man and closed your eyes.  You transformed back into a human, to the surprise of everyone around you.  You had on a black leather jacket, white tank top underneath, with a pair of black pants and combat boots.  You put your hands up into the air in surrender which caused the man and women to lower their guns.

"кто ты и что ты хочешь?" you asked.  You didn't know if they understood English, the language you were best at, so your Russian wasn't as good and you stuttered some of the words.  The man with the long hair and the female looked at each other and approached you with caution.

"Do you understand English?" the man with the shield asked you.

"Yes.  Answer my question." you demanded.

"I am Natasha," the female answered, calmly.  "The man with the metal wings is Sam.  The man with the shield is Steve and the one with the metal arm is Bucky."

"We don't want any trouble.  We don't like the people who were here and came to stop them." Steve said.

"How did you get your powers?" Sam asked, still wincing in pain from your claws.

"Long story.  I don't like the people that work here, but that's not how I got my powers." you replied.

"Ok," Bucky said and nodded to the others for a group huddle.  You could hear what they were saying, things like "She should come with us" or "She's too dangerous" or "She would be helpful to us".  

"Are you going to hurt me?" you interrupted, your fear getting the better of you.  The four of them turned around and Natasha came forward to you and put her hand on your shoulder.  You flinched at the contact, not expecting her to be so nice.

"Of course not," she responded, sweetly.  "What's your name?

"Y/N," you said.

"Y/N, would you like to come with us?  We want to protect you and we want you to help us take people like this down.  We are the Avengers, and we are from the U.S.  Would you like to come with us?"

"I have to go ask," you answered.

"Ask who?" Natasha asked, concern in her voice.

"Rose," you answered as if it was obvious.

"Can we come with you?  So we don't lose you?" Natasha asked/

You hesitated for a moment before nodding your head.  You lead them deeper into the mountains, to your home.  As you walked through, the number of wolves increased and then you reached Rose."

"Y/N.  Who are they?" Rose asked.  Suddenly the wolves pushed you near Rose and started circling Sam, Bucky, Steve and Natasha.  

"They are friends, they aren't H.Y.D.R.A." you answered.  Rose lifted her hand and the wolves backed away. 

"They want me to come with them, to fight against people like H.Y.D.R.A."  you continued.  

"Y/N, come with me for a moment please,"  Rose said, and she led you further into the mountains.  Sam, Steve, Bucky and Natasha were left, to be watched by growling wolves.  

After a few minutes, you and Rose returned.  You had a sack full of clothes, indicating you would be leaving your home of 19 years.  You hugged Rose for a minute or two, saying your last goodbyes to each other.  You let out silent tears, both happy for a new chapter in your life, and sad since you would be leaving the only family you've known.  As you started heading towards the four Avengers, wolves started heading towards you, brushing themselves against your legs and eventually tackled you to the ground.  All of them licked you and tackled you.  After another couple of minutes, the wolves got off of you and you saw Rose, smiling at you.

"Everyone," she announced.  "It's time for a send off."  Then all of the wolves sat down and started to howl.  You transformed back into a wolf and howled with them, for the last time.  

When you transformed back into your human form, you saw Natasha, Sam, and Steve clapping for you and smiling.  Bucky, was looking at you a little differently, and you couldn't tell if it was a good look or a bad one, but he was smiling and clapping with the others.

Then you grabbed your sack and headed with the Avengers back to the helicopter, leaving your home for the chance at a better life.

In the helicopter, you talked with the other Avengers.  You told them how you got your powers, how old you were and everything you liked.  They told you some stuff about themselves and you bonded with them.  You felt like you had friends for once in your life, and you knew soon, they would become your second family.

~~~

(Three years later)

You have had an amazing time with the Avengers.  You had gone on tons of missions, taken down tons of H.Y.D.R.A. bases like a video game and became close friends with all the Avengers.  You became extremely close with Sam, Natasha and Steve.  But your closest friends were Bucky and Loki.  

You met Loki at Thor's birthday party two years ago.  He was very mischievous and full of mystery.  You and him pulled a lot of pranks on the team, mostly on Thor and Sam.  You guys had a lot of fun together, and wherever you went was always a party.

Bucky was a different story.  He has known you since the beginning and trained you since you joined the Avengers , which allowed you to bond even closer.  He was always there for you, knew what advice you needed and you were able to have a laugh with him without doing something crazy.  

But, you never had any feeling more than friendship for the two of them.  But they did.  

Loki had his eyes on you since Thor's birthday party.  He saw you as someone he could have fun with wherever he went.  He didn't feel like he was evil or the God of Mischief.  He could be himself around you without being judged, which drew him to you.

Bucky was smittened with you since he first laid eyes on you.  You were the light to his darkness and he doesn't know what he would do without you.  He could help you with whatever was bothering you and you could do the same for him.  That, to him, meant something and that fact that you could read him like a book, was special to him.  And that was the main thing that pulled him closer and closer to him, like a magnet.

Soon, your friendship with the two of them would change forever.      

[kpop-pick-me-up]

My kpop workouts, and more.

Since you guys said you'd be interested, here's my kpop workout post y'all! These workouts helped me burn some fat and build muscle especially in my abs and glutes that I could feel. That being said: you have to be aware that since each workout is only 3-4 minutes long, it's intense nonstop work. So if you're a beginner and have to take a couple seconds in between moves don't worry! You'll get stronger just keep pushing! They can be short, or they can be long it's all up to you and if you choose to do one song, or a whole set!

My Challange for those that really want to be crazy 👀

My advice to you if you want to really feel it and see changes, do six weeks. I know that sounds like awhile, but trust me. This is the MINIMUM amount of time you can workout before you see results. Make this a challange! If you have free time, take at least 30 minutes away from the internet as time for yourself five days a week. As an example schedule:

Monday-Butt

Tuesday-abs

Wednesday-total body/cardio

Thursday-legs

Friday-Arms

Saturday/Sunday- rest!

Wednesday you can either do the full body set, you can look up a Kpop dance tutorial on YouTube, or go for a walk/run.

Keep this schedule for SIX weeks, and try to eat a decent diet 5-6 days a week with one day to treat yourself with anything. The better you eat, the more noticeable your results will be.

Take before and after pictures for yourself! Seeing the change is an amazing feeling :)

What to do for each level:

Everyone should stretch as a warm up for at least ten minutes to prevent injuries. Hold your stretch between 10-20 seconds but no longer, as that would be static stretching which is bad to do before exercise and could actually cause injury.

For the absolute beginners:

Do two-three songs a day! Pick any of them you'd like :)

For the beginners:

Do two-four songs from a specific muscle group!

For my intermediate children:

Do each set (ex: all the abs, or all the legs)

For the crazies:

Add ten minutes of cardio each day to the set!

For those who are inSANE:

Add ten+ minutes of cardio, and do each set twice!

Disclaimer #1:

I can't say these are 100% my idea because I got the idea of making workouts to songs from a YouTube workout channel (you can also find her on Instagram!) called Blogilates (which you should really go check out she's so positive, realistic and an amazing role model), but she didn't really have any songs I was super into so I said to myself "what if I made my own?" So that's how I ended up here. Some of the moves I used I think she made herself, so I'll have a separate post if there's no room at the bottom the with a bunch of links to her videos that I can think of, took inspiration from, and her song challenges for those who are interested. But I'll at least put a link to her channel at the bottom. So without further adieu, let's get to the songs!

Back

Anpanman, BTS- 1:00 parachutes, 1:00 Superman pulses, 1:00 Walnut crushers, cobra push ups till the end

Come Back, NCT 127/WayV- 1:00 hamstring curls, 1:00 leg swimmers, 1:25 stomach scissors

Black on Black, NCT-(for a satisfying switch start at 0:08 seconds!) 1:00 bird dog left, 1:00 belly snow angels, 1:00 bird dog right

Butt

Lullaby, Got7- 1:00 triangle butt per side, 45 sec donkey kick pulses per side

Regular, NCT 127/WayV-1:48 glute circles per side (ooooff this one is painful)

MOVE, Taemin-1:00 lateral leg lift per side, 45 infinites per side

Cherry Bomb, NCT 127- 1:00 regular glute Bridges, 1:00 butterfly bridge, 1:00 outer Bridges, 45 sec hamstring curls

BboomBboom, Momoland- (start at 0:08) 1:00 single legged bridge right, 1:00 single leg bridge left, 1:28 grasshopper

Power up, Red Velvet- 1:00 u lifts per side, 1:22 reverse lunges

Blooming Day, EXO-CBX- 1:35 altitude raises per side

WANT, Taemin- 1:45 clam shells per side

Abs

Trivia: Love, BTS- 1:52 second side seals per side

Baby Don't Stop, NCT U- 1:00 single leg raise, 1:00 lower abdomen push, 1:00 reverse crunches

Touch, NCT 127- 1:00 toe touches, 1:00 bicycle crunch, 1:00 rope pull sit ups

Shoot out, Monsta X- 1:20 double leg raise, 1:00 little u's, 1:00 alternating clock turn

SOLO, Jennie- For each verse do slow alternating Spiderman planks, and for each chorus either just plank, or do plank butt lifts

Love Shot, EXO- (this one is D E A D L Y) hip dips all the way through. For the verse just tap the floor once with your hip, but during the chorus tap it twice like a pulse. (Your hips should move almost like you're drawing a rainbow with them.)

Ko Ko Bop, EXO- elbow to knee crunch 1:30 per side

Arms

Tempo, EXO- 1:50 if the single arm lifts done in Blogilates "feel it still" arm song challange (Link in next post)

Trivia: Seesaw, BTS- 1:00 tricep push up (on your knees if you have to! Go at your pace!), 1:00 cobra push up, repeat.

CLAP, Seventeen- 1:00 angel arms per side

45 sec angel arms both sides

DRAMARAMA, Monsta X- 1:00 shoulder push up per side, 1:00 regular push up

Peek-A-Boo, Red Velvet- 1:00 prayer pulses, 1:00 peekaboo chest, 1:00 Walnut crushers

Shine, Pentagon- 1:00 tricep dips, 1:00 tricep push backs, 1:00 pull behinds

Alligator, Monsta X- 1:00 curly arms, 1:00 robot arms, 30 sec alligator chomp per side

Legs

My first and Last, NCT DREAM- 1:20 regular calf raises, 1:00 toes facing in calf raises, 1:00 toes facing out calf raises

1,2,3, NCT DREAM- for the verse do regular squats, for preverse youre going to pulse in place so almost like a wall sit, and for the chorus you're going to do 123 squats

Lie, BTS- 1:45 pointed leg circles (inner thighs)

Oh My!, Seventeen- 1:00 side lunges, 1:00 squats, 1:00 wall sit

Dance the Night Away, TWICE- 1:30 split squats per side

Fire, BTS- Plie squats 1:20, 1:00 Plie pulses, 1:00 Plie pulses calves raised

Trivua:Just Dance, BTS- 1:50 alternating forward lunges, 1:50 alternating reverse lunges

YESTODAY, NCT U- alternating side lunges all the way through

Full Body

Drippin, NCT DREAM- 1:00 forward lunges, 1:00 squats, 1:00 in and out planks

We Young, NCT DREAM- 1:00 jumping jacks, 1:09 curly arms, 1:00 "jumping rope" in place (you don't need a rope, just pretend) 45 sec arm circles

Silver Spoon, BTS- 1:00 jumping rope, 1:00 push ups, 1:00 alternating jack knives, 53 sec sit ups

BOSS, NCT U- 1:00 little u's, 1:00 lower leg lift crunch, 1:00 Walnut crushers, 30 sec crunches

VERY NICE, SVT- 1:00 criss cross jumps, 1:00 jump kicks, 1:15 Russian twists

Fantastic Baby, BIGBANG- Just rave. Straight up bop to it, dance around like no one is watching idc.

FAKE LOVE, BTS- 1:00 bicycle crunches, 1:00 oblique crunches per side, 30 sec fire hydrants per side

MIC DROP full version (5:08) jump rope the whole way through

Let's Shut up and Dance, Jason Derulo, NCT 127, Lay- alternating courtsy lunges all the way through

Disclaimer: I'm not a professional by any means. I'm just someone who loves working out and the feeling that I get after and wanted to share it. Please talk to a doctor or do lots of research to make sure it's okay for you to workout especially if you've had injuries in the past.

For tips on form, make sure your always bringing in your core, keeping your shoulders down and relaxed, your back straight, chest open, and if you're on your hands and knees keep your hips square and back flat. And if you're doing squats or lunges, don't let your knees pass your feet when you look down. You'll have to naturally start out slower with correct form and gradually get faster as you get stronger. But it's way better to learn with good form than go ham with bad form and hurt yourself in the long run. Like I said Blogilates is a great source for this. You don't have to do her workouts but watch her videos if you need to see proper form, different unique work out moves, and she's just such a great role model.

If you have any other questions please feel free to ask! I love talking about positive health and helping people. So if you have any questions about fitness, health, favorite workouts, different workout routines, health advice, if you need help to get motivated, diets ( I've had a normal diet, restricted diets, vegetarian and vegan diets), etc I can answer them to my best ability. Like I said I'm not a professional, but I'm a real person who knows the confusion and mixed messages from different sources, and how hard it can be.

Blogilates YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/blogilates

Off of the top of my head, I used moves from her isolation series, her wedding series, her "Feel it Still" song challenge, the hip video,and her 100 ab challenge videos. Please check her out as a reference!

I wish you luck and hope you enjoy!

P. S: leave me other song recommendations and a muscle and/or a muscle group and I can make more! I love these they're so much fun XD and if you do it, give me feedback! I'd love to hear how much it hurts at first, and then later on you can tell me how much easier it's gotten!

~DeepSheep

[ironwoman18]

We found love in a hopeless place part 11

Chapter 11: Rainday

Spencer and Max were agree to meet at the same park they went a few days ago. He would bring their breakfast and juice with she decided to make them dessert and coffee.

Coffee was something they had in common. She was amazed by how many cups of coffee he could drink and the sugar he put in his cup was insane.

He once told her that coffee kept his brain awake and working at full speed. She laughed at that but was agree. Coffee was her energy too.

She discovered so many things about him everyday. Like his love for all literature, especially the one from fifteenth century. He said his mother read it to him when he was a child.

Then he read it himself and enjoyed it. She also find out about his love for chest, he even taught her some moves to check mate someone. She played with her dad and he was amazed when she won after 20 years of losing against him.

He also discovered so many things about her like her favorite artist is Michelangelo and she also enjoyed Carlos Cruz-Diez kinetic art.

He discovered she played soccer in college and that she was really good at it. He told her his one and only experience with a sport, he gave his team the victory but he made Morgan promised to not include him again.

She laughed and hugged him gently saying it was the beginner's luck. He also laughed because he was totally aware of it but he was happy it happened at that moment because the team they defeated was annoying.

Spencer walked out of his apartment and saw the sky. There were gray clouds so maybe it could mean a rainy day. He really hoped not to because he wanted to enjoy his last day of vacations with her.

He drove to the park and found a good place under a tree. There were some kids playing, there were some teenage girls complaining about the clouds and how they messed up their tan.

He waited for a while until he saw Max. She ran towards him and sits on a blanket he put on the floor for them "hey handsome" she smiled catching her breath "sorry, I'm late. I made my mother's cookies recipe but they almost burned" she sighed.

"Hey it's ok. I don't mind burned cookies" he laughed helping her with her backpack and after her settled it on the floor she held her arms around his neck and kissed him softly "I could get use to this kind of greetings" he whispered as he grabbed her closer to him.

"Me too" she smiled and they moved away to sit down "let's see what you made for us" she laughed softly.

"Not a big deal" he got out a tupper full of sandwiches "I made a lot, just in case we stay longer" she bit her lip to stop her laugh "and I brought a bottle of juice. Orange juice"

"Sounds amazing, let's eat" he handed her a sandwich with a napkin and held one for him.

They ate in silence for a while. She checked his clothes and realized he was very casual that day. He was wearing jeans and a shirt.

She was surprised but pleased at the same time. She loved his dress shirt and pants but something about him wearing something "normal" made her like him even more, if that was possible.

On the other hand, Spencer saw her clothes, she was wearing black sweatpants and a white shirt, it was not her normal type of clothes but it looked good on her.

"I normally like to run and even do some yoga on Sundays so after I came here I was finishing my yoga class" she said like reading his mind "by the way, you look good wearing jeans" she smiled.

"You think so? I'm used to use them. Derek gave me these at my birthday but never had the chance to use them. I use suits for work and I never had friends out of work" he said then looked at her "in fact I never had vacations this long"

"Well I'm happy you decided to spent it with me" she smiled playfully "tomorrow it's your first time back to work right?"

"Yeah. I hope they decided to let me return to my job. I love my free time when I'm with you but the days I was alone, I got bored" she held his hand.

"I'm sure you will return to work and save more lives" they both smiled and suddenly it started to rain.

"Oh no... No, no, no..." He said as he looked the rain getting harder "I saw the clouds when I was coming here and estimated there was a fifty percent chance of raining"

"So there was another fifty percent of not raining?" He nodded.

"I wasn't sure of which possiblity was more likely to happen so it was fifty- fifty" he was glad that he picked a tree with a good protection so they did not get wet.

The problem was that Max did not care and pushed him out of their cover and jumped out as well.

"Hey!" He screamed at her but she just laughed then they started to run "not funny"

"It is and it was worthy though" He was chasing her around as she laughed and poked her tongue out at him.

He finally got her and they felt on the ground laughing.

Then they decided to leave. His apartment was closer so they went there.

When they arrived, he asked her to take a shower to not get sick. She was happy to have a change of clothes in her backpack and luckily in a bag where it could not get wet.

Meanwhile she took a shower Spencer turned on his coffee machine to have hot and fresh coffee for them.

She got out and it was his turn to get a shower. Max decided to check his apartment. As she imagined he had lot of books, technical books but also classics and even novels in others languages.

She recognized the Russian and Spanish but nothing else. The Russian because she knew they used other alphabet and Spanish because she got some classes in highschool.

After a few more minutes he walked out of the bathroom, fully clothed "I was making coffee. I guess the one you made is cold already"

"I think so. I put it in a bottle where it should not get cold too fast but I guess the rain could get it cold faster.

He poured some coffee in two cups and they ate cookies and drank coffee talking about everything they just did and how funny it was.

He never had this much fun ever, maybe before he had to take care of his mother and himself. Became an adult too soon. Then they cuddle in his couch and he opened up about some difficult things he had to deal with.

Mostly as a kid. He had a lot to tell her but he decided to start easy on her. His mother with schizophrenia and his father leaving them was enough sadness for a day.

She kissed him gently and rubbed his hands softly. She wanted him to open up and she was not afraid of his darkness. She wanted him to feel safe with her and she will make sure to protect him.

Sadly at night they rain stopped and he decided to take her back to get her car and leave to her apartment.

"Next time the sleepover should be at my apartment" she laughed and he laughed too "maybe popcorn and movies"

"If that's an invitation then I'm in" he laughed and opened her door for her.

"Perfect then it's an invitation" she kissed his cheek and got in her car. She left and he smiled. He was so happy and had the best Sunday ever or he could call it Rainday.

The next day he had concentrate. Shooting test. He almost destroyed one of the targets as he looked like Mr. Scratch.

Due to this situation the Deputy director decided to make him take 30 days off for every 100 hours in the field.

It was his only condition to return to work. Emily told him she knew and planned some seminaries for him.

He will need to get ready for those so his mind will be busy while he is alone at home. Thankfully he has Max now who will help him after classes.

He told her that night when they were in the hotel, taking a rest to continue tomorrow.

She promised to help him during those days as much as she could so he does not feel bored in between seminaries.

OOooOOooOO

I have some ideas for this one but didn't know how to connect them until I sat down and started to write.

I loved the part where they ran in the rain. I had so much fun with it. I thought about that moment in season 15 when she pushed him to the sprinklers but of course this was bigger because it's rain.

Hope you liked it. Comments are welcome and loved. Thank you for the likes, favorites, kudos... I love you.

[bright-molina]

a/n I meant for this to be ficlet/drabble length and well, it’s a lot longer than that. This is for you anon! I’ll reblog a new prompt list soon, here’s the one I’m using now but feel free to request whatever you’d like! 

request:  can u do a steve harrington x reader with 1, 7, 19, and 20? ty

synopsis: It’s been three months since the fight between you and Steve and you still have no idea what prompted it. When you come back home from college for fall break the last thing you’re expecting is a drunken message from Steve confessing everything. 

*

It had been exactly 3 months and 16 days since Steve had last seen you. He’d know. He was counting. It was the night before you were leaving for college and also the night he had made his biggest mistake in his life so far. And no, he wasn’t being dramatic like Dustin always insisted. Steve was certain that out of all of the things he had done wrong, letting you go had been the worst. 

He had no clue how late it was. All he knew was that for the last two days you had been the absolute only thought in his head. It was two days ago that Lucas, who lived just across the street from you, very dutifully informed him that you were back home for break. It was two days ago that every painful detail of the night he foolishly left you invaded his mind and wouldn’t leave. It was late and he was desperate for some sort of release and so he sat alone in his living room with empty containers that had once held various types of alcohol scattered all around him. 

It didn’t work. Steve’s guilt ran deep and instead of the alcohol making every thought of you disappear, it enhanced them by a hundred. He was supposed to feel numb and instead his mind played a never-ending loop of the last fight you two had. 

“I think you’re just afraid to be happy.” 

You had let out a choked sob. It had killed him listening to it then and it killed him remembering it now. He had known you for as long as he could remember. You had fought monsters from other dimensions and outwitted evil Russians side by side and not a single time had you ever cried. You were the toughest and bravest person he knew and he hated the fact that he of all people was the one to make you feel that way. 

“You’re lying to me and you’re lying to yourself, Steve Harrington.” He had never seen you so angry at anybody before. And that was saying something since you had punched Tommy H. in the face on multiple occasions. Steve swore that he could see the fury burning in your eyes, swimming among a million other emotions you were pushing aside. “I don’t know what your problem is or why you’re being such an ass and you refuse to tell me. But I do know that I don't want you here. Not anymore. Now get out.”

And he had listened to you. He had turned right around and made sure to slam your front door shut on his way out without another word to you. Steve shook his head, taking another swig from the bottle in his hand and resisted the urge to punch himself. How could he have been so stupid? 

Steve’s head was a blur of thoughts and emotions all screaming at each other. It took a few minutes but one finally screamed louder than the others. Call her. And maybe it was the alcohol taking over, but he was absolutely positive that it was the right move. He reached for the phone, knocking over a few things in the process. The numbers blurred together and moved a little when he tried to push them but he persisted. After three tries the phone was finally ringing and he waited for you to answer. But you never did. It was then that he looked outside and glared how dark it still was. He barely processed the sound of the beep telling him to leave a voicemail and decided to do just that. 

“Shit,” Steve screwed his eyes shut tight as he tried to throw together at least one coherent thought. “You remember the last time I saw you, Y/N?” He waited for an answer before remembering that you weren’t actually on the other side of the phone. “I was a fucking dumbass and told you that I didn’t care what you did at college because we were never anything more than friends. Well, you know what? If we were just friends, how come you always let me sleep over whenever I had a bad day? Just friends don’t do that. Why did we do everything together? We threw parties and hung out with the kids and went out for dinner and snuck out all the time. Shit, Y/N, you know how many people asked me if we were dating.” Steve thought of all the times he had gotten the question. He thought of all the times he had insisted you two weren’t. And then of all the times he had wished you were. He thought of the day before the two of you had fought. “Just friends don’t sleep together the day before one of them leaves for school.” Steve let out a heavy sigh. He shook his head and wished that he had said all of those things 3 months and 16 days ago instead of hiding them all just because he was mad. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” 

*

“You’ll drop these all off later?” Robin asked from where she stood at the door while getting her coat on. She motioned towards the various empty movie boxes littered all over the coffee table. 

“Promise,” You smiled, setting a small pile of plates and utensils on the same table while El, Max, and Nancy carried the rest of the various breakfast items to the living room. “You sure you can’t stay for breakfast?” You had invited them all over the same day you had gotten home for your week-long break from school. The night before was the first night you had all been able to spend together. 

“Maybe I’ll take a plate to go.” She sat back down after looking at all the food and you let out a small laugh.

“Hey, there’s a message on the machine,” Max pointed out as she piled food on her own plate. You looked over and saw the blinking red light. 

“Honestly, who in their right mind calls late at night,” You groaned as you walked over, more out of obligation than anything else. Your parents weren’t home and you promised them you’d let them know if anyone called. It was the only reason you were even listening to the message. You clicked the button next to the flashing light and were vaguely aware of the tv being clicked off. 

“Shit. You remember the last time I saw you, Y/N?” You knew who it was the second the message started playing. Everyone’s eyes were trained on you but yours were focused on where Steve’s voice was coming out of the speaker. “I was a fucking dumbass and told you that I didn’t care what you did at college because we were never anything more than friends. Well, you know what?”

You listened to the message in its entirety. The many stuttered words and slurred sound of his voice made it obvious that Steve had been drunk when leaving the message. It didn’t make the mess of emotions you were now feeling any less real though. You knew your friends were all listening intently and watching for your reaction. None of them said anything upon hearing the revelation that you had slept with Steve. They didn’t say anything after the message, either. Instead, they waited until you looked okay to speak. The four of them were your favorite people for a reason.

“It,” You stopped, willing the memories that had been pushed to the front of your mind by Steve’s message to ease up just a little. “It was one time.” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself to us, Y/N,” Nancy insisted sitting down on one side of you and taking one of your hands in an attempt at comfort. “We just want to know if you’re okay.” 

“I’m fine,” You flashed a small smile. Honestly, you were fine. It had been a while and yeah, the memory of that day sucked and it constantly replayed in your head at the worst times, but you were fine. You had already dealt with the fact that Steve ended up being...well him. Even with you. “I haven’t talked to him in months.” You admitted to them. 

“Yeah we, uh,” Max briefly thought of all the times Steve had found some way to bring you up and immediately complain that you weren’t talking to him. “We knew you two had a fight.” 

“He never said why, though,” El shook her head, sitting down on the other side of you. “Always changed the subject when we asked.” 

“Of course he would,” You couldn’t help rolling your eyes. It was just like Steve to complain and then not say why. It had been the whole reason behind your fight after all. In just a split second you felt a more subdued version of the anger you felt the last time you saw him take over. And so you told them everything. 

You told them everything from the events leading up to it to every word that was said. And as hard as you all tried nobody could connect the dots between him all but admitting he was in love with you one day and insisting that you were never anything more than friends the next. Whatever his problem had been he had evidently kept it locked inside his own head, refusing to talk it through with anybody. The five of you could only speculate as to what it was that had made Steve so mad that day. 

*

When Steve finally clocked in for the start of his shift it was noon. He had absolutely no idea why Robin met him with a glare the second he walked through the door. Frankly, he didn’t really want to know considering how much all the lights hurt to look at and how much his head hurt. 

“You’re screwed, Harrington,” Robin said, crossing her arms the second Steve stepped behind the counter. He glanced at the time, sure that she was just messing with him. 

“What are you talking about?” He set his head down in an attempt to block out as much light as he could. “I’m on time. Which is honestly a miracle.”

“You really don’t remember, do you?” Her question was confirmed when Steve didn’t answer. Whatever he happened to remember from the night before was all still a little fuzzy. “You must’ve been really drunk.” 

“Care to elaborate on whatever it is I did?” His voice came out muffled since he hadn’t bothered lifting his head to speak. Robin rolled her eyes and leaned against the counter waiting to see his reaction. 

“Nothing much,” She shrugged, not that Steve could tell. “Just left Y/N a super long-winded message in which you relive the argument you’ve never told anyone about, wished you had been dating her, knowing now that you were ‘more than friends’, and oh yeah, brought up sleeping with her the night before she left for school.” 

“I’m sorry, I did what!” Steve’s head shot up. It was the fastest he had moved all day and he wasn’t sure the movement agreed with him. Or maybe the nausea was just from finding out that he had apparently called you while drunk off his ass the night before. “How,” He gulped and tried to gather his thoughts. “How do you know all this?” 

“Because I spent the night at Y/N’s place,” He had reacted just like Robin thought he would. “So did Nancy, Max, and El by the way. All of whom also heard your very passionate drunken rant.” 

Steve groaned loudly and covered his face with his hands. He couldn’t even remember calling you last night, much less what it was he had said. The only thing he could assume was that it couldn’t have possibly been good if what he said was anything like what he remembered thinking. 

Maybe the universe hated him. Maybe whatever forces were out there decided to get payback on him at that exact moment for every bad thing he had ever done. Or maybe karma was just a bitch. Whatever it was, he hated it because at that exact moment the bell hanging over the door dinged. And of course, the person entering the video store just had to be you with El walking right beside you. Steve immediately ducked behind the counter, the second fastest move he had made all day. 

“Hey,” Robin smiled, ignoring Steve’s antics in the process. She figured it’d all be better in the long run if you didn’t confront each other for the first time in three months in the middle of a Family Video. 

“Your movies, as promised.” You and El both set down a pile of movies on the counter. You were in much better spirits than you had been earlier that morning. 

“We also came to take you to lunch,” El added, watching carefully as Robin glanced...towards the floor? 

“You are going to lunch soon, right?” You asked, only noticing her face fall just the slightest. 

“I am!” She quickly shook her head, realizing what it must have looked like. Your smile returned and you started debating with El where to go for lunch. In the short while you were distracted Robin took the boxes and crouched down behind the counter. “What are you planning to do now, dingus?” 

“Hide here until Y/N leaves,” Steve nodded to himself, sounding absolutely sure that his plan would work out. “Should be easy enough.” 

“I don’t think so,” Robin eyes locked onto one of their coworkers she hadn’t bothered learning the name of. What she did know though, was that he was a huge stickler for rules. Rules that included the fact that Steve was supposed to take over before she left, which he couldn’t do if he was still taking cover behind the counter. 

“Harrington!” Unnamed coworkers timing could not have been worse for Steve. He could hear you and El both stop talking the second you heard his name. Robin stood up and opted to see how it all played out. It was out of her hands now. “What are you doing on the floor? You’re covering Buckley’s lunch shift.” 

There was no getting out of anything now. Steve slowly stood up from his spot on the floor. He braced himself both for facing you and to keep from falling over from how fast his head was spinning. The second he laid eyes on you though? He was gone. Every single reservation he had previously felt seemed to dissipate when he looked into your eyes. You weren’t happy to see him, and with good reason, but at the same time you weren’t as angry as you had been 3 months and 17 days ago. When you looked at him you were indifferent and that was what hurt him the most. 

“Steve.” You managed to say in greeting. Confronting him after hearing the drunken message he had left was not what you wanted to be doing but there you were. Over the last three months, you had played scenario after scenario in your head, seemingly infinite possibilities of what you might say the next time you came face to face with Steve Harrington. Now that you were finally standing in front him you had absolutely no idea what to say. 

“Y/N,” Steve felt nauseous again. He wanted to address everything and nothing all at once. He wanted to tell you he was sorry. For all the things he had said to you three months ago, for being a jerk, for the drunken message he had apparently left. He also wanted to pretend it had never happened. He wanted to live in a little bubble where the two of you had never fought and you were here, seeing him for the first time in a long time. But that wasn’t possible. “Look, about the message I left last night -” 

“Don’t worry about it,” You cut him off, desperately wanting to run out of the video store. It was deja vu. You swore he was saying the exact same thing he had said three months ago. The words he had said to you, the ones that hurt you more than you ever thought they could, replayed in a vicious loop. About last night…it meant nothing….it was a mistake. 

“Y/N,” If he didn’t know any better he’d say he was begging, pleading you to hear him out. Steve knew better than anyone that drinking had a way of bringing out how people really felt. The night before was still a blur but from what he could piece together, he had said exactly what his emotions were. And he wasn’t going to deny them anymore, not to you. “I meant -” 

“It was a mistake,” You echoed the exact thing he told you back to him. And Steve knew, you could tell just by the way his face fell into realization. You tried desperately to ignore the way your heart pounded incessantly when you saw how utterly defeated Steve looked. You had to tear your eyes away and look at anything that wasn’t him and you spoke in a whisper. “I gotta go.” 

Steve could only watch as you walked out of the video store as fast as you could. He couldn’t blame you. After all, he had been just as quick to walk away from you. He hated it. He hated the way both El and Robin looked at him with a hint of sympathy. He hated seeing your car pull out of the parking lot and drive away. He hated being left almost alone in that store with his thoughts swirling in his head at a million miles an hour. And most of all he hated knowing that it was his fault and his fault only. 

*

When the doorbell rang you expected it to be the pizza you had ordered. What you hadn’t expected it to be was the party looking more worried than you had seen them in a long time. Lucas, Will, Dustin, and Mike all pushed past you without a moment's hesitation. 

“Please, come in,” You mumbled to yourself as you shut the door. Despite the concerned look on their faces, they didn’t hesitate to dig into the leftover junk food from the night before. It wasn't until they saw you staring at them that they remembered why it was they had gone to see you. All at once they started talking over each other. 

“We haven’t seen Steve in three days -” 

“Usually he’s always around -” 

“But he hasn’t been since the day we told him you were back.” 

“And we know he’s not your favorite person in the world right now -”

“But we need help finding him.” 

“He won’t answer our calls -” 

“And we just realized now that we don’t actually know where he lives.” 

“We were hoping you’d help us.” 

Part of you was tempted to tell them that you had run into him earlier that day and that he was fine. But then you thought of how tired Steve had looked and the sunken look in his eyes. Not to mention the drunken message and how hungover he had clearly been. You had to admit, it was endearing how much they cared for him. And so with a sigh and a barely-there smile, you picked your keys up from the coffee table. 

“I’ll drive you there but you’re paying for my pizza.” 

*

After a ten minute debate and agreeing that they’d pay for half your pizza then eating said pizza followed by another five-minute argument on who got to ride shotgun, you were finally pulling into Steve’s driveway. It was nearing midnight and the lights on in Steve’s living room stuck out like a sore thumb against the otherwise dark street. The only other car in the driveway was Steve’s and you knew he was alone. You barely registered that the boys were waiting for you before getting out of the car. They may have all been eager and a little impatient but even they all knew how much the fight you and Steve had hurt you both. You shot them all a smile before opening your door. 

“There should be a spare key under the doormat.” You pointed them in the right direction while you leaned against the car. The encounter at the video store was still fresh in your mind and you felt the need to put a little distance between you and the front door. So you watched. First, as they unlocked the door and walked in and then as Dustin came back outside and ran over to you. 

“We might need some help,” He told you and this time you followed. 

Steve was almost passed out on his couch and a few cans of beer were scattered on the floor. 

“Is he drunk?” Mike wondered out loud, kicking a stray can out of the way as he walked towards the couch. He moved Steve’s head back and forth a few times and got no reaction other than him half-heartedly swatting his hand away. You pushed any previous inhibitions you had away for the time being. Instead, you moved towards the couch and knelt on the floor. You had dealt with drunk Steve a hundred times before, this was something you were prepared for. 

“There’s a closet outside the bathroom upstairs, I need the headache medicine from there. I also need a glass of water, a wet towel, and any food you can find.” All at once they split up and you were left alone with Steve. 

“Hey,” You didn’t hesitate to gently shake him out of his half-asleep daze. He groaned in protest but sat up a little straighter. It was then that he looked over at you for the first time since you had all arrived. 

“Hey,” Steve wasn’t quite sure if you were actually there or not. In his once more drunken state, he managed to remember that you weren’t happy with him. There was no reason why you would be sitting on the floor beside him like you had so many times before. He could hope, though. “Are you really here?” 

“I am,” You spoke softly and moved to sit on the couch beside him. Immediately you found that drunk Steve was easier to handle than sober Steve. At least for the time being. Drunk Steve argued less and wouldn’t remember much in the morning. 

“Why?” Steve asked, despite not believing that you were there. “Why would you come to take care of me when I’ve been acting like a dick?” 

“Because,” For a second you weren’t going to tell him but then you remembered the many nights you had stayed with Steve when he was drunk. There was no harm in telling him the truth. “Because I still care about you, Steve. Even when you’re acting like a dick.” 

You took the glass of water and a half-eaten bag of chips from Will and Lucas. You honestly didn’t think Steve processed the fact that there was anyone else there. He was barely processing the fact that you were there. You handed him a chip from the bag and he popped it into his mouth. 

“You know,” Steve reached for the bag of chips and took out a handful. “I don’t think you're really here, Y/N” 

“And why is that?” You played along with whatever he said while taking the bottle of aspirin from Mike. Steve took the two pills you handed him along with the glass of water, spilling a good amount as he drank it. Dustin was the last one to come back with the towel. None of them said anything, amused by whatever it was that Steve was ranting about. 

“Because the real Y/N probably wouldn’t come in here after I fucked everything up,” Steve took another handful of chips and ate them within a few seconds. “I mean, come on. I said a bunch of terrible shit and when the real Y/N came back I called her while completely shitfaced and accidentally told all her friends we had sex. The only people who don’t know is the party and she’d kill me if they found out. If you were the real Y/N would you wanna be here right now?” 

You were very aware of the four boys all gaping at the two of you. Sure, they’d all done their fair share of speculating as to what had happened but this? This they weren’t expecting. They wanted to say something, you could tell, but they also wanted to hear what Steve was going to say next. It took you by surprise a little when he took another swig of water and laid down with his head in your lap. 

“Can I tell you something?” Steve shut his eyes and made himself comfortable. You knew he’d be asleep any second now. You took the towel from where Dustin had set it down and placed it on Steve’s forehead. “I hate how much I love you.” You dropped the bag of chips when he said those words while he kept talking like he had never said them. “It fucking hurts. I care so much about what you think of me. I think about you constantly. And the last 3 months and 17 days I’ve spent beating myself up over everything I said to you. It just sucks. Right not-real Y/N?” 

You were silent and confused. You loved him, of course you did. Steve had been your best friend for years and even after your argument you were always making sure he was fine through other people. In love though? That was something else entirely. Had Steve really just told you he was in love you while drunk and thinking you weren’t there? There was no way you could have anticipated hearing that. By the time you formulated a way to respond Steve had already drifted off to sleep.

“It’s uh,” You didn’t really know what to say to make everything a little less awkward. When you finally looked up at the boys they were all trying and failing to pretend that nothing had been said at all. “Late. It’s late. You guys shouldn’t walk home in the dark. There’s a guest room upstairs if you wanna stay there.” 

“Do you,” They knew you didn’t wanna talk about it. If you did you would have said something already. “Do you wanna take the room?” 

They watched as you glanced down at where Steve had fallen asleep on top of you. You shook your head after a few seconds of silence. “No, it’s fine. If I go he’ll wake up and won’t fall back asleep.” 

None of them said anything else but they did share a look. One that you could tell meant they’d talk about what had just happened once they were out of the room. You couldn’t bring yourself to mind much. They thanked you for helping them while also apologizing for dragging you into everything again. You assured them it was no big deal, despite what had just happened you’d help them again in a heartbeat if they asked. Soon they went upstairs and left you to dwell in your own thoughts with Steve sleeping soundly. 

*

When Steve woke up the next morning it was because the sun was shining obnoxiously through the thin curtains. He felt halfway decent, much to his surprise. It wasn’t until he sat up on the couch and saw you fast asleep on the couch that he realized he hadn’t in fact been hallucinating the night before. 

“Not again,” He mumbled to himself, having a clearer picture of what he had said than the day before. Steve ran his hands through his hair, eyes landing on the bottle of aspirin and the half-empty glass of water. You had stayed with him all night, just like you used to. He couldn’t help but smile at the fact. 

“You’re awake,” Your voice tore him out of his trance-like state. He watched you stretch before making yourself comfortable on the couch. 

“I am,” He followed suit and soon he was facing you. The air in the room was tense, almost anticipating the conversation that you both knew couldn’t be avoided any longer. Neither one of you said anything. You looked anywhere but at Steve, knowing that if you did you’d be a mess of emotions just like him. He looked at only you, relieved that he was finally seeing you for real after so long. Maybe, just maybe, you’d give him a chance to explain. “Can we talk? For real this time.” 

You couldn’t say no, you knew that. For the most part, you had succeeded in getting over the argument. It hurt if you thought about it too much but until a couple of days ago you hadn’t. You had simply resigned yourself to the fact that you’d never know why Steve had gotten so upset. But here he was now, sitting right next to you. And you needed to know everything. “Where do you want to start?” 

“The night before you left,” Steve answered almost immediately. He could tell by the look on your face that you were wary but you didn’t protest. “I,” He didn’t know how to go about explaining himself to you. But you were here and you were listening so he was going to do the best he could. “I was scared. We,” He watched you turn to look at him, eyes both sad and curious, and all his feelings came out all at once. “We slept together, Y/N. And after...it was over it hit me. I did the one thing they say you’re never supposed to do. You don’t just sleep with your best friend because things get complicated, you know? You had fallen asleep after a little and I look over and thought ‘do I love Y/N?’ and I sat there thinking about it. But then I realized you were leaving me. Just like everyone else. And I know it was a dick move but when you brought it up the next day I couldn’t handle it. You had always been right there with me through literally everything and suddenly you were leaving me. I was gonna be alone without you for the first time and I wasn’t ready. And a little while ago I finally realized why. I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me.”

“Can I ask you something now?” You finally said after a tense pause. Very slowly and a little hesitantly you reached forward and took one of Steve’s hands in your own. He nodded once and braced himself for whatever you were about to say. “Why did it take you so long to tell me this?” 

“Honestly?” Steve felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. He had finally told you everything and it surprised him that you were taking it as well as you were. “I thought you hated me after that fight.” 

“Oh, I did for a few days,” You couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped your lips. The smile on Steve’s face was one you hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. “Steve, within 24 hours you told literally all of our friends the one thing we agreed not to tell them and I still stayed the night to take care of you while you were drunk. I think it’s safe to say I could never really hate you.” 

Your laughter mixed together, a sound that hadn’t been heard in a long time. Before you could process anything that was happening Steve had pulled you into a tight hug, not letting you go for a good minute or two. “I missed this,” Steve let out a sigh when he finally let go. He moved a little bit closer to you when he saw the grin on your face that matched his own. “I missed you.” Your smile told him everything he needed to know, you had missed him too. 

In just a few minutes the two of you were talking and catching each other up on everything that had happened the past couple of months. You were both oblivious to Dustin, Will, Lucas, and Mike high fiving each other on top of the stairs at the sound of you two together once more. Not together together like they had wanted but they held out hope that maybe you’d get there one day.

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Amnesia (4/5)

Summary: He never thought he would ever see her again. Being divorced for 20 years, he hadn’t heard a thing from her after their last court date. When he got the call from a hospital in New York, telling him his ex-wife had been in an accident and only remembered being married to someone named Jordani, he couldn’t help but went back to see her. Even if that meant to relive the worst days of his life.

Paring: John Wick / OFC

Masterlist

John found Elle in front of the fire place, when he got home later that day. He had been out with dog. And Elle needed some space. He felt like exactly like 20 years ago, when he had to tell her.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly.

“I think so, yeah.” She nodded. Dog immediately rested his head on her lap.

“Anything for dinner?” He asked. He wasn’t sure how to talk to her.

“Can we order some pizza? I think we need to talk.” She said.

“I remember now. I remember everything.”

John was pacing in front of his house. He was waiting for the pizza delivery. But if he was honest with himself, all he wanted was to run. He couldn’t look into her eyes again and see the hurt he had caused. He couldn’t relive it.

 It had been a normal day until he got the call. He woke up, said goodbye to his wife, who had to go to work. She had a surprise for him later that day. He had to go to see Marcus later, to check on a couple of points for their last job.

He finally made the decision to quit. Quit working for the high table. It came at a big price, but Elle was worth it. He wanted to grow old with her. Have children. He wanted to be a father. He had to smile at the thought of Elle. He had wanted to tell her earlier, but there wasn’t a book that said “So you’re an assassin. How to tell your wife.” He shook his head. He was lucky that she even talked to him anymore. He had no idea how he would live without her. And he had no idea that he would have to find out rather sooner than later.

 The call that changed his life forever came on the same day. October the 18th. He had just got home from an errand and was wondering where his wife went. He picked up the phone.

“Jar.” Marcus voice was deathly.

“What happened?”

“Our latest contractor wasn’t very happy when I told him it would be the last time you would work for them. They like you and your skills.”

“What do they want?” He asked.

“They want you to make a choice. Her life or yours.” Marcus said. John sank down the wall and grew pale.

“Where is she?” He asked.

“I don’t know for sure. I only know that they have men and they want you to make a choice until the end of today.”

“I will kill them all.”

“I thought you might say that. Come to the Continental. I will have more information by then.”

 John shook his head as the delivery man drove away. He had paid for the pizza and wanted to get back into his house, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to take 3 steps and get into his house.

 Marcus was waiting for him at the Continental. He was standing together with the manager. A man called Winston he had met once before.

“Mr. Jovanovich. Pleasure to meet you again.” Winston welcomed him.

“Thanks. Marcus?”

“I know where she is.”

“Then let me get the weapons and let’s go.”

“With this many people, we need to take precautions. You need a suit. And knifes. Weapons alone won’t help us.”

“I’m taking you down now. We should be finished shortly. The men will be here then.” Winston said, waiting for John to follow him.

 “Come in John.” He hadn’t noticed Elle coming out.

“I can’t.” He shook his head.

“It’s your house.”

“Keep it.” That earned a laugh from Elle.

“You know we never really talked about that night. I think enough time has passed, don’t you think?” She asked softly.

“How can you be so calm? You should hate me.” John shook his head. He still hated himself

“Come in, and I will tell you exactly why I don’t hate you.”

 Marcus drove them to the abandoned factory building, where Elle was held hostage. John hoped for the sake of the kidnapers life’s that she was still alive.

“There is an old vault in the cellar of this building. I think she will be there.” Marcus explained as John watched the map.

“I’m going to take them from up the roof. I’ll take two snipers with me. The rest will be with you. You’ll be okay right?” Marcus asked. John only nodded. He had to put the rage he felt aside to get Elle out.

 They sat on the couch. Again on opposite ends. Eating their pizza. John wanted to joke about pineapple on pizza, being a disgrace, but he couldn’t bring himself to it.

“I never hated you John.” Elle said after a while. John didn’t look at her.

“I was angry. Angry at myself that I let them take me. Angry at you for doing business with people like that. Angry at them for taking me in the first place, just to prove a point. But I never hated you. I just couldn’t look at you.” She took a bite from the pizza, before she continued.

“They hurt me so much on that night. Sometime I can still feel the knife….” She breathed in deep, trying to keep herself calm. She had talked about it so often, but it still hurts.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” John whispered.

“Yes I do. I need you to understand.”

 The first thing she noticed was darkness when she gained back consciousness. She tried to sit herself up, but couldn’t. There was something around her wrists. She tried to feel what it was. A chain. Panicked she tried to escape them.

“Don’t try. Keep still and I won’t have to hurt you. Well not as much as I intended too.” A voice with a heavy Russian accent came from the corner of the room.

“Who are you?” She asked.

“That doesn’t matter. What matters does, that Jardani will come for you and he will choose you.”

“What do you mean?” Elle asked.

“See, he’s on his way to become someone big. That was until he decided to get out. Enter you.”

“What do I have to do with that? I didn’t even know about his work until 2 weeks ago.”

“Ah yes. See, there’s the problem. He decided back then, that he would quit, and I need him.”

“I bet there are others who are good at what he does.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong. He’s the best.”

The light went on, and she finally could see the face of the man, she was talking to. But she also saw the knife in his hand, as he made his way towards her.

 “There’s nothing to understand. I should have been there sooner. I should have get you out sooner. I…” John shook his head. He felt her hand on his arm. He looked up.

“You need to understand, that it wasn’t your fault.” Elle said firmly, looking into his eyes. He had the same expression in his eyes as 20 years ago.

“It wasn’t your fault, it was the fault of these Russians who took me.”

John looked at her.

“How can you say that?”

“Because it’s the truth. You didn’t take me. They did. You didn’t torture me. They did. You didn’t put the knife in my stomach. They did.” Her voice was shaking.

“You know what you did?” She asked.

“What?” John whispered. Her arms closed around him until she said.

“You saved me.”

 John couldn’t shake the rage from him. He was so angry, he couldn’t breathe. He showed the few men they had brought with him into the building and waited. Waited for the men to come out again. But all he heard was the gunshots. And nobody came back out. Breathing in deep, he focused on his goal, Elle, and stepped into the building.

The first thing he did was switch off the lights. They would be blind for him, but he could still see them. He didn’t know how many man he had killed with his bare hands on his way to the cellar.

“Decided to join us, yes?” He heard a deep voice with a heavy russion accent.

“Where is she?” He asked growling.

“Oh she’s right behind this door. Unconscious.”

“What do you want?”

“I want your services. In exchange she can stay alive.”

“What makes you think, I won’t kill you right away?”

“Maybe the two men inside of there with her, who won’t hesitate killing her, when I don’t enter in the next 2 minutes.”

The lights went on in that moment and John looked around, to make out the face of the man he was talking too. As he looked around he saw the many dead bodies he had left behind. He heard a laugh.

“See? You are made for this. You killed them all by yourself. Choose!” The man demanded.

“Let me see her first.” John breathed. He took deep breaths. He had to make sure Elle was okay.

“I guess I could let you do that.” The man went to the door, knocking three times. The heavy door opened and he felt a gun on the back of his head. He hadn’t even noticed someone behind him.

He was pushed to the open door, finally being able to see his wife.

“What have you done to her?” He could see her bleeding.

“Nothing she won’t survive. Yet.”

John thought hard of a way, that would let him take the men out and get his wife out of here, but he couldn’t think of one. He was out of weapons. He didn’t even have a knife left.

“Let me get her to safety and you will have me.” He finally said.

“Perfect. We let you take her. But be at the Continental in 2 days, waiting for instructions. Don’t try to mess with us.”

With that all the men slowly made their way out of the building. But not without taking their eyes off of John, who ran into the room to Elle.

“Elle?” He kneeled down in front of her, taking the chains from her carefully. He scanned her body for injuries. He could hear the gunshots outside, and was thankful for Marcus being there, taking care of the Russians.

He heard her groan, before she suddenly opened her eyes and pushed against him.

“Leave me alone.” She screamed, trying to get away from him.

“It’s me. Elle. I’m here.” He tried to soothe her. Elle stopped screaming and looked at him scared.

“Are they gone?” She asked him.

“Yes they are. I’m taking you home.” He promised. Elle couldn’t stop the tears. Shaking she let her hands wander to her stomach, and couldn’t help he painful scream she let out. There was blood everywhere.

“No. No. No. No.” She repeated.

“I’m getting you to a doctor now.” John looked at her, trying to hide his desperation.

Elle just cried. John picked her up.

“Close your eyes, Elle.” She did so without hesitation, burying her face in his neck, as John carried her out of the building. She couldn’t stop the tears.

“I’m so sorry Jardani.” She cried. He shook his head.

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything. It’s my fault.”

“No. You don’t understand. I wanted to tell you today.” Her whole body was shaking.

“Tell me what?” He asked, finally stepping outside. He wanted to look around to search for Marcus but focused on his wife. She opened her eyes. Red from crying.

“That I was pregnant.”

Taglist

@coolbreezeinkeanureeves / @lunilate / @i-cant-remember-my-old-login

[steveramsdale]

Big dipper Blog - 10.10

This blog is, essentially, the same as last week’s. There are some alternative factual details, but they are superficial. Anyway, you could just reread (or remember) last week’s offering and save yourself a bit of time. If you do decide to read on, we could make it more fun. You could try to decide for yourself the highest high and the lowest low. Remember, it’s just for fun. There’s no prize, so don’t write, text or email.

I think, as people, we are supposed to grow, to learn, to develop. That’s the most startling revelation you’ll read today. Adversity can be, I’m told, an opportunity for such personal growth. It may, in fact, be true, that I have been learning about myself. I wonder if my ‘issue’ is that if one thing is wrong, it affects everything else. See what you think.

On Saturday, my chief goal was to get the car de-registered and get the papers I need for me to be able to export it. The police centre I needed to go to was advertised as opening at 9:30 so I had time to get up and get sorted. I had a wonderful colleague on notice to be available for telephone translation if necessary.

I took a 6am trip to the shop through the park. Many people were already out running, I’d say 100 or more and it’s not a big park. Much of Tashkent has given up on lockdown.

Soon it was time to head off for the simple process of taking my car off its registration here! Google maps took me behind the centre where there was no gate. It was not difficult to find a way round to the front. That was the last time a problem was easily solved on Saturday. When we got the van and went to register it for the first time, the father and son who sold it to us, took me and helped. Even so, when we got there, they accepted the help of a man who was at the centre to do just that - help, for a fee, people through the process. He charged me about £20 but probably saved us 3 or 4 hours by knowing what to do and going to the front of queues. When I returned to the scene of this lengthy but problem-free process, there were, again, these free-lance ‘sorters’ and I decided it would be worth accepting help. The price was about the same. However, the first problem emerged in minutes. The address. I knew, back in September, that this would be a problem one day, would bite me on the bum. Sorry, I forgot to say that this blog would contain strong language and adult themes. I have a credit card-sized, well, card which is my ownership document (log book). It has all of the details about me and my van. So, of course, the address is our old address. Now, in my passport, I have my new address. I did not sort this out. The people at the centre said they could not de-register me until I changed the address (of course I questioned this), and that I could not change he address there but had to go to the centre in Yunusabad. I paid about £2 for something and my assistant asked for (and received) about £5 for his help. I set off for the other centre.

Long-time readers may (won’t) remember that at the original registration, we also went to two centres - the wrong one first. The centre I had to go to now was that ‘wrong’ one. I love symmetry, and here it was. When I got there, again came the offers of help. There were more guys here and they wanted £60. I declined, at this rate. I first drove into the inspection hall. Here they check the car against the ‘tec-passport’ as the credit-card is called. They match up the chassis number, etc. I had the papers from the first centre, so that went through without a hitch. Thereafter, the day was just a big hitch or series of small hitches that’s looked like one big hitch. We return to the Uzbek system, seen at the Kazakh border (remember) of needing to go from window to window, room to room. However, I was soon (a relative term) told that I would not be able to deregister the van until I had proof that I was leaving the country too. This would be in the form of a stamp in my passport given by my landlord! This cuts a longer story short and, by now, includes Miss Viktoriya as my telephone translator. I was certain that this could not be right (by the way, the miss-matched address was no longer an issue. It would mean, for example, that an Uzbek could not export a car to a relative in Russia! I tried explaining this, we went back to the main hall to talk to the boss a couple of times, but no one was changing this story. I phoned Pim, the export guy who has helped with every stage of this van conversion, and he put me on to a colleague. We talked and he also spoke to the officials there but got the same answer. Pim then told me that his people would look in to it more on Monday (yes, this story goes on) and help to sort it. The woman I had been dealing with insisted that I go back to the other centre and get my £2 back - which was an incorrect charge. She even phoned them to arrange it for me. I didn’t go back. Not for £2.

As an aside, there has to be a better way for the authorities to organise this free-for-all. The system is not a system. Queuing is almost non-existent and the mass of people at peak times is ridiculous. The spivs there to help....It is bad enough in normal times, but while a pandemic is still around....

So now I was free, for the rest of Saturday and Sunday to worry and consider the prospect of being unable to send the van (and the ridiculous amount of other stuff) home. Here is where I realised that this one problem took over everything. I heard that cafes and restaurants would be allowed to re-open on Monday and immediately thought of Ecorn. I should have been more happy. I wasn’t. I did decide I would go and have a chicken caesar sandwich after work on Monday.

Monday was a tough day. There quite a lot of end of year stuff at school, practical stuff, which I’m finding stressful. Then there’s this. The rule is ridiculous but it seems to be the rule! Then, some good news - someone offered to help me. I had called Ekaterina, the woman who deals with staff visas and registration. I thought that she would know about this stamp I needed or would be able to find out. She did not know about the stamp but said that she would go with me to the car centre to find out about it. I still had the papers. We went after my last lesson and when she was free. We went to the office of the ‘Saturday woman’. She wasn’t in the office but her colleague remembered me and said I could go to the main room. We went across and up to a free window. Ekaterina spoke to the police officer there. He immediately told us that no such stamp was needed and, had I brought the car, or even just the number plates, he could have done it there and then! We had gone in a taxi. I asked if there was time for me to go and get the plates then, but there was not. I resolved to go early the next day as he said it would take about 30 minutes. And suddenly the world was full of sunlight and joy again. I looked with pleasure upon my fellow Uzbeks, pushing to the front of queues and standing too close to each other.

We shared a taxi as Ekaterina lives quite close to the centre. I enjoyed (really enjoyed) my Ecorn sandwich. Life was good again. As an aside, these were my first taxi rides since The 22nd March. I saw Z—- JB so I’m sure KB is out there somewhere. Will I see it?

On Tuesday morning, as planned, I went back to the Gai. It opens at 8 so I was there at 7:30. The officer from the evening before was the first to arrive and had the key for the room (more of a hall, really). My first lesson of the day is at 9. School is a 15/20 minute taxi ride away away (I was going in to school to do some of the other jobs I have to do), so this would be a doddle. I was the only customer. I had the number plates and the documents and handed them over. The officer began the process. After about 20 minutes we went over to the cassa (the payment room. He took me. It was about £6. The woman there said I should go back to get my refund (I had given her my receipt from the other place). I agreed that I should but did not say I would not. A taxi there and back would be about £4! We returned to the main room. he continued the process. Time continued to move on. More customers began to arrive. Many went to my guy’s window and he flitted between my job and theirs. None of them could see the ‘maintain distance’ stickers on the floor. These were very obtrusive, written in Uzbek and Russian and invisible to local men. As time ticked on, it was clear I would be late for my first lesson. I sent my students an email. I waited. Eventually, my officer moved across the room, to a computer. This is it. he’s going to print my papers. After about another 20 minutes, I saw the ‘printing’ notification/animation appear on his Windows ME screen. And, five minutes later, he was handing me the paper work. It was done. My first lesson of the day was abandoned but I had what I needed.

One more observation here - no one in Tashkent will be getting coronavirus of the chin.

While I was feeling sorry for myself, over the weekend, I saw people collecting rubbish being moved on by the police. I have mentioned previously, that there are always people sorting through the rubbish bin. The mostly seem to be collecting plastic bottles but take anything of value. This group of four had huge bags of plastic and were near ‘my’ bins. I have no idea why four police men were moving them on. I wondered how many plastic bottles you would need to collect in a day to ‘make a living’. I also wondered what these people had done wrong, ‘stealing’ my rubbish. I also wondered why I had been feeling so sorry for myself trying to sort out my ‘huge problem’. Perspective. It had gone. It has returned but I did not know it could be so fleeting.

I did some lessons at school on Tuesday and began all of the sorting, packing and tidying tasks. Mafirat, my TA, was in too. The internet is not great at school! It was good tom see people, but I was not entirely comfortable.

On Thursday, working from home again, I decided to go for coffee out before work. While walking round I saw two kittens playing and stopped to say ‘hi’. One had jumped into a ditch but the other stopped and looked at me. It the looked back at its mother (I’m guessing but 99.9% sure). She came stalking round a bush. She was ready to attack me if necessary. It was not necessary.

The fire engine and disinfectant squad were also back. While I was out, they sprayed all the way up the stairs in my building, so I imagine they were going through all of the buildings.

Thursday was also the day I would take the van. I had loaded everything. I had stuck the paper transit number plate in the front window. I was ready to go. It is a short drive to Pim’s warehouse. Of course I was stopped by a police man. he wanted to know why I was driving without number plates. As soon as I showed him the paper plate stuck in the window, he was fine. At the warehouse, about six guys unpacked everything and re-packed it in their boxes. It was (is) a ridiculous amount of stuff. And so, I left Munisa with strangers, to travel alone on the journey we should have made together.

And if I did stop at Ecorn and have another caesar sandwich, that’s nobody’s business but mine.

There were children playing inside my building. This is the first time this has happened. I could hear three or four playing further up the stairs - laughing and running around. Later, while I was talking to Mairi and Fred, they were outside my door. They were having a good time. I don’t know why they were playing on the stairs and I don’t mind. It was nice to hear voices and laughter.

Also on Thursday, in my last lesson of the day, guided reading, two notable things happened. A high and low (you decide). In our morning English lesson, we had defined some vocabulary, including ‘bittersweet’. We had talked about the meaning, in terms of taste, of the two parts of the word. They said they were happy that they understood it. The guided reading was Kensuke’s Kingdom. I had not realised it was the last chapter. We were suddenly at the end. I can assure you there are no spoilers ahead. As I was reading, I suddenly found myself getting emotional. The two main characters were interacting and I felt that I was going to cry. In fact, I did. The events of the last two or three paragraphs got to me. They are relevant to my situation, I suppose. This has never happened to me before in a lesson. I always tear up at the end of Sister Act 2 (the cinema’s greatest achievement) but this is a new one. One of the students said “Oh Mr Ramsdale, don’t cry!” The postscript didn’t help, but I regained my composure.

We talked about the complex emotions of the ending. One of my brightest students only every joins in through the chat. I looked in the box and she had written one word. -‘bittersweet’. My work here is done.

I know it’s been a longer one, but there are a few loose ends and thoughts.

Returning to an old them, I heard ‘unite together’. I also heard ‘plateaued off’. Unnecessary, people. Perhaps I should have said ‘returning back to an old theme’.

I saw JB. Driving over to the centre, I saw E___JB. So they’ve been out for a little while. Appropriately, the driver got that plate from one of the centres I went to this week!

Let’s finish with Trump. I mean that in both senses of that sentence. This week he again asserted that testing causes cases of the virus, so testing is bad. He also said that if people stop calling others racists, racism will quickly go away. At what age do toddlers acquire the concept of object permanence? He’s not there yet. If we can’t see him, will he cease to exist?

And that’s it. What sort of week has it been? Bittersweet.

See you next time.