#((OOC: HI I’m alive. sorry this took so long I put out the Im alive post and realized it’s been so long that I ran out of energy. I’m back-

[ask-the-gyaxa-astronaut]

Terran! I figured out what’s wrong with Ponco and Clonco. Someone stuck magnets to them. This probably explains why Clonco went into the fountain when I took him out for further study…But why them specifically?

”hm, that’s strange. They are around the space centre a lot, maybe some kids who were visiting did it for fun?”

[fanta2y]

Mr.Sandman

OKAYY this is a bit different cause this isn't a x reader ficcc >.<

Im a little nervous cause I can't tell if i like it or nottt but i hope you guys enjoyyy, its a itafushi fic cause i love them and they deserved sm better :(( ALSO if you don't ship it/don't like them i dont wanna hear about it, just scroll and keep it pushing pls and thank you <3

cw: probably slightly ooc, talk of death and major injuries.

word count: 896 (very short and sweet)

After Itadori had his heart ripped out infront of Fushiguro, things had changed between the two of them. Before, it was something simmering below the surface. They had only just met so no one really could put a name to the undeniable tension that flared whenever they sat just a bit too close and their thighs brushed together, or when their eyes held eachothers for just a smidge too long. 

But now? Now it was a whole other beast, almost as real as Fushiguro’s shinigami. He had this itch that he never seemed to be able to scratch by himself, unless (of course) he was with Itadori. 

He hated the deep rooted clinginess he always tried to push away, the abandonments of his past crawling up his throat and forcing his body to seek out those close to him. To feel their physical warmth, to know without a shadow of a doubt that they were here in this moment, and they weren’t going anywhere. 

Usually, Fushiguro had no problems keeping this annoying itch under wraps. He was sated with his unknown midnight strolls around the campus, making sure Itadori and Kugisaki were asleep soundly in their beds. That all the second years had made it back from their respective missions, from a reputable distance. He had a reputation to uphold, he couldn’t let them know about the nights he spent up worrying that one day they just simply wouldn’t come back. 

But after Itadori, after watching the blood pool around his ever cooling body. Watching the light leave his eyes and his skin turn sickly in color. He couldn’t stomach even the thought of being any further from him than what he was right now. 

Itadori being, well, Itadori. He took it in stride, always playing into Fushiguro’s odd stares and incessant texting. Itadori never got angry or annoyed, just smiled brightly at him and told him he was okay, or that he was coming back soon or he wasn’t going anywhere. Any phrase that could calm the itching that had only intensified. 

It shouldn’t have surprised him that he would end up in this predicament, Itadori snoring soundly beside him as he laid his head in his chest. Hearing the calming pulse of his heart beneath his ear, it soothed the need deep with him. 

Alive. Alive. Alive. 

With each beat his brain repeated the word over and over again. He knew he was alive, he was right here beside him. He felt the slow breaths, heard the small snores leaving his mouth. So why? Why was sleep still evading him, why was he still unable to close his eyes without being plagued by lifeless eyes and all too cold hands. 

Instinctually, Fushiguro squeezed Itadori’s hand. Wanting the reassuring weight to just be enough so he could stop annoying himself and go the fuck to sleep. He felt the stirring beside him and froze, willing him to just turn over and go back to sleep. But nothing seems to go Fushiguro’s way tonight because soon he was faced with honey colored eyes, still glossed over with sleep. 

“You ‘kay?” He mumbled, reaching his free hand to rub at his eyes, the sleep heavy in his throat as the words seemed to grate past his lips. Fushiguro could only nod dumbly, the guilt of waking him slowly over coming all of the thoughts that he didn’t really have time to process right now. 

Itadori wordlessly leans forward, pressing his forehead against his own. 

“I’m right here, not going anywhere, alright?” His voice was warm and still scratchy with sleep. But Fushiguro felt the wave of calm wash over him at the reassurance. 

“I’m sorry.” He muttered out, the guilt still sitting deep within him. He had never been one to be so clingy, so physically affectionate. This all felt so out of character for him. He felt… weak. Something he had never allowed himself before, not after his father abandoned him and almost sold him off, and certainly not after his sister feel sick into a coma. 

The strength was something he clinged to, too keep him sane. If he let it all in, who would be the one to piece him back together? Who would be there to watch him slowly relearn how to be himself again? 

“Fushiguro.” The voice sounded a lot more awake than it did a few seconds ago, and only then did he realize the wetness on his face. He felt the calloused hands reach up from where they were smushed between them. Felt the thumb slowly wipe away the tears, 

“I’ll never leave you again.” 

The words settled deep within his soul, freed something locked in his chest. And for what felt like the first time in a long time, Fushiguro smiled. It was soft, and small. Blink and he would have missed it. But it was there, and thats all that mattered to him. 

“I know.” The response was tiny, meek. And the syllables were filled with an exhaustion he knew all too well. He returned the soft smile as he watched Fushiguro’s eyelids flutter shut and finally felt his breaths even out. His chest rising and falling softly. 

Breathing out a sigh of relief, he snuggled in close. Pressing cracked lips to the others forehead and closed his eyes too. 

Hoping to meet him somewhere in his dreams.

authors note: i hope you guys enjoyyyy :)) thank you all for all the love you guys have been showing my previous posts it means alot to me!! and its given me such motivation to write, so i really appreciate you all <33 and as always reblogs and comments are appreciated :))

[is-this-fandom-who-knows]

I’m writing a fic that ends with reference to Jason dying. But he’s gonna come back in the next book. I’m trying to get my timeline straight as much as possible.

Does he come back the same age he died? (Cause i think what im reading is he’s immediately red hood-ie when he returns to Gotham)

Does he like come alive the same age, but is away from Gotham for a bit till he returns to Gotham a bit older and then is red hood-ie. (yes I kinda know the Lazarus and talia and mountains back story).

I’m not sure the Lazarus would work for my story (how would he end up there if he’s buried in Gotham?) so any tips on what I could work with?

-lamb

Hi lamb! Sorry it took me so long to reply.

Okay, so, I’m following canon of New Earth, aka post-Crisis pre- flashpoint, because that’s what I read. So I can’t say this is all still canon in the mainstream comics continuity.

Jason dies when he is fifteen, on April 27th. Thanks to Superboy Prime punching and shattering the timeline in Infinite Crisis, he is resurrected in his grave 6 months after his death. He was decomposing, and Batman Annual #25 literally shows the flesh regrowing on his decomposing corpse. He is still 15, dead boys don’t age, but Jason’s birthday is August 16 so if we’re speaking from a purely chronological point, disregarding the fact that he did die, he’d be 16, as 6 months later would be late October. He breaks out of his grave, walks 12 and a half miles before a couple drives by and calls paramedics ‘cause while he did get brought back to life, he didn’t heal from most his injuries. Jason falls into a coma in the hospital and stays like that for a year because he has serious brain damage, so he’s 16 when he suddenly wakes up, still with severe brain damage, and breaks out of the hospital purely on instinct. Jason lives on the streets with brain damage, surviving only on instinct for another year. He doesn’t talk. Doesn’t seem to know anything. He fights when attacked, eats when there’s food, covers himself when cold, but he’s not really aware. He is 17 when the League finds out he’s alive, and Talia takes him in. He’s with the Al Ghuls another year before he’s thrown into the Lazarus Pit. So he wakes up, physically 18, but mentally he’s only lived 15 years. Jason is on his own immediately afterwards. Ra’s is furious because Talia was not supposed to use the Pit because of the Pit Madness. She gives him a bag and pushes him off a cliff. Good times. That same night Jason finds out he was unavenged and is absolutely pissed. Jason decides to head back to Gotham within 24 hours of coming out of the pit. Jason his planning on killing Bruce, manages to put a bomb in the car and everything, but backs out last minute. He’s in Gotham for about a week. Then he goes back to Talia who agrees to get him training. He trains with various professionals (assassins, snipers, demolition experts, the like. This is where he learned a lot of the skills he uses as the Red Hood) for roughly five months before he learns there’s a new Robin. He keeps going, learning more, taking out criminals lethally. The exact time frame for this is never given. He finds the Joker, has him tied up… and doesn’t kill him at the last minute. Then Talia introduces him to Hush, and he joins Thomas Elliot (Hush) in fucking with Bruce’s head, though Bruce is led to believe that it was Clayface the whole time. It’s shortly after this that Jason returns to Gotham as the Red Hood, roughly 19 years old.

I don’t know exactly how this would fit into your storyline, to be honest. You could have the forces that resurrected Jason leave him without brain damage, and have him seek out training on his own. This might be ooc though, as a lot of his motivation for being the Red Hood and planning his big showdown comes from Pit Madness. You could have the League find him much sooner so he gets thrown in the Pit sooner. You could have him decide to stay in Gotham the first time he returns. Ultimately it’s up to you. Ignore everything I said if you want, it’s your choice. Hope this helps regardless.

Send me the link to your fic when you get a chance, ‘kay? ;)

(Sources: Batman: A Death in the Family, Batman Annual #25, Red Hood: Lost Days, Batman: Hush, Batman: Under the Hood)

[ghastspidergwen]

I love @doctorsiren's dadskall au, and I thought I'd write a little fic about it. basically, the dadskall au is where xisuma and ex (alex)'s dad is doomguy, but some sort of accident/crazy magic/whatever made him and iskall share a body, go check out doctor siren for the whole story, she has great art, too!

disclaimers (you can completely ignore this section if you want): I have played about 15 minutes total of all the Doom games, read none of the books, seen none of the movies, but the ost is great, so this will probably be ooc for doomguy. xisuma and alex are more based on the featherweight au versions, not the real hermitcraft versions. this story is not part of the dadskall au nor any of dr siren's other aus, it's just a break for me to write some fluff. it takes place ~3-4 years after where fw currently is (s7 election era) but is not set in the fw au world. link to the post part of this is based on. ...and I think that's everything, onto the fic!

.

Xisuma took a deep breath, “I think dad’s alive.”

“You said you saw him die,” Alex, previously known as Evil Xisuma, said, turning to his brother, “They told me he died”

“He wasn’t exactly dead, it’s hard to explain. It’s more like...the horcruxes in Harry Potter. When dad died, I think there was some magic at play that made it so his ‘soul’ transferred into the nearest healthy, person. And I think I found them.”

“Uh-huh, and who might that be?”

“HALLO!” Iskall burst in, “What did you need me for?”

“Iskall? Seriously?”

“He was there that night and I have no reason to believe-”

“You really think Iskall-”

“It’s my best guess, everyone else was injured, and the magic had to choose the nearest healthy person, so it must be Iskall.”

“What must be Iskall?”

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Iskall?”

“No, Iskall86,” Xisuma said, sarcastically, “Of course this Iskall, how many Iskalls do we know?”

“I still have no idea what we’re talking about, can -”

“No!” The void brothers turned to him and responded in sync. Xisuma pulled his brother into a side room, “Stay right there, thanks Iskall.”

“What?”

Xisuma exhaled and closed the door behind them, “Phew, OK, I have reason to believe that 13 years ago, Iskall was present the night that dad-y’know-and since everyone else there was either corrupted or injured, as the only uninjured person, dad’s spirit ended up inhabiting his body, but’s been so weak that it was only using Iskall as a means of staying alive, not influencing him or trying to take control of his body at all. Do you get me?”

“A little.”

“And I think I know the spell that will separate them, and give dad his old body back,” They went back into the main room with Iskall, “Should I do it now?”

“Blast ‘im,” Alex backed out of the room, putting a protective wall between him and the magic.

“WHAT?!”

A glowing green ball of energy swirled between Xisuma’s hands, and Iskall backed into the wall, “H-hey Xisuma, what are you doing?”

“This...shouldn’t hurt.”

Iskall held up a hand in a stop gesture, “SHOULDN’T?!”

Xisuma blasted him with the magic. Iskall glowed green, floated into the sir, then split into two people who fell down.

“I...think it...worked,” Xisuma muttered, collapsing to the floor.

Doomguy looked up, and noticed someone lying, unmoving, on the floor. His saving-people instincts kicked in, and he pulled himself over to the person. “C'mon, don’t be dead, don’t be dead,” he said, shaking them.

Someone was shaking Iskall. He sat up and opened his eyes, “Holy heck, it’s Doomguy!”

“You’re alive!” Doomguy said relieved, and pulled Iskall into a hug.

Absolutely starstruck, Iskall sat there, frozen. It’s Doomguy, I love Doom, Doomguy is right here, and he’s hugging me, it’s Doomguy! Iskall’s mind looped.

Pulling out of the hug, Iskall spotted Xisuma crumpled on the floor, “W-wait, I got-gotta check on my friend.”

Doomguy turned around, and spotted his son on the floor.

“Xisuma!” He stood up and stumbled toward him.

“Wait, you know Xisuma?”

“He’s my son. Well, your son, too. Our son.”

“Wha-”

“Short answer, I am you. You are me. We’re the same person.”

Looking at his hands, one thought crossed Iskall’s mind, I’m Doomguy. It was closely followed by “I HAVE A SON?”

“Two sons.”

“TWO SONS? And one of them is dying!” Iskall sprinted across the room and cradled Xisuma’s head, “I don’t know what to do!”

“Health potion?” Doomguy suggested.

“Oh, yeah,” Pulling a potion of healing out of his inventory, Iskall splashed it onto Xisuma. He held his breath and waited to see if it would work.

Xisuma opened his eyes. He sat up.

“Dad!” He jumped up, and buried his face in his dad’s chest plate, giving him a hug the same way he did when he was younger.

“I’m your dad, too,” Iskall said.

“You know?” Xisuma asked, breaking off the hug.

“Yeah, Doomguy told me. So give your poppa a hug,” Iskall uncrossed his arms and gave a very confused Xisuma a hug.

“Oh, OK,” Xisuma awkwardly pat Iskall’s back until he stepped away.

“Is Alex here?” Doomguy asked.

“He should be right outside, he didn’t want to be in the same room as an untested spell.”

“Wait, you didn’t test it? Then why did you cast it on me?” Iskall asked, panicked.

“How many people do we know that have another person living inside them?”

“Wels/Hels, I’m pretty sure Ren did for a while, a pregnant lady,” Iskall ticked off on his fingers.

“Different circumstances. Wels and Hels are one person, like two sides of a coin, Ren-I don’t know what happened with Grimdog or The Red King or whatever, but I definitely don’t want to mess with those, and did you just compare yourself to a pregnant woman?”

“Uhhh...nevermind.”

“You said Alex was just outside?”

“Yeah,” Xisuma pulled the door open, to reveal Alex sitting on a bench outside, drumming his fingers against the seat

“Did it work?”

“Yeah.” Stepping out of the doorway, Xisuma revealed their dad standing behind him.

“Hi, Alex.”

“Dad?”

“It’s me,” Doomguy sat next to his other son.

“Dad!” Alex hugged him, and they pulled Xisuma into the hug after a second. They sat there before the hug was interrupted by another pair of arms joining in.

“Family, together again,” Iskall sighed.

“What’s up with him?” Alex asked, glancing at Iskall.

“I’m part of the family, call me Dadskall.”

“OK...Dadskall, can we have awhile alone with our dad?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. See you later.” Iskall trudged out of the room.

“I haven’t seen you guys in forever! How long was I…”

“15 years.”

“So that would put you guys in your mid-30s, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Has anything big happened in the last 15 years?”

Alex pulled off his helmet, “Nothing too bad. I was imprisoned for a bit of it,” he glared at his brother.

Xisuma also removed his helmet, “I said I was sorry, how many times do you want me to apologize?”

“I wasn’t saying it’s your fault, I was just making the point that-”

“I get it! I was an idiot and I didn’t listen to you when you were clearly right.”

“Just like old times,” Doomguy chuckled, he examined his son’s faces, “You look so much older, like real adults. I’m so sorry I missed out on the last 15 years, I would’ve loved to see you grow up.”

“It’s not like you could do anything about it.”

“I know you would have been here if you could.”

“Also how did you guys get those scars?”

“Someone needed to keep slaying the demons after you left,” Alex shrugged.

“I angered some Watchers years ago.”

“You angered some Watchers?” Doomguy asked, standing up.

“I just realized someone was right, but it was too late to save them.”

“Darn right, I was.” Alex and Xisuma also stood up.

“I...forgot how tall you were,” Doomguy said looking, at up at Alex, who was only a few inches taller.

“Oh, yeah. Xisuma was jealous he never got this tall.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Sure,” Alex smirked.

“So, anything else new?” Their dad intervened.

“Daisy’s still alive.”

“Should’ve guessed,” he chuckled.

“Oh! You’re a grandpa!”

“What?!”

“Yeah! I adopted a guy named xB. I’ll call him over, so you can meet!”

<Xisuma> hey xb, can you come on down to my base, I’ve got something to show you

<xBcrafted> ?

<xBcrafted> yeah, be there shortly

“How did you meet this xB?”

“I was doing some exploring between seasons, looking for a good seed, when I found a small single player world. xB was alone in there. Poor kid was only 13, didn’t know where his parents were, said he had been handling himself for the last 2 or 3 years, so I took him back to Hermitcraft with me. He’s a great kid, you’ll love him.”

“Xisuma has practically adopted the entire server.”

“Server? You’re an admin?”

“We both are. I’m main admin of Hermitcraft, Alex is the backup admin.”

“I’m so sorry I missed out on all of this stuff. I really wish I could have been there for you two.”

Something thumped into the outside of the building they were in, and the door opened, “Freakin’ rockets, stupid friggin’ elytra,” xB mumbled. “Oh, hey Uncle Alex, hey, dad.”

Doomguy gasped, “I love him already!”

“Wha-”

“xB, this is our dad, Doomguy.”

“Wait, I thought he was dead.”

“Wonky magic stuff.”

“OK then. I’m xBcrafted,” xB said, offering his hand for a handshake.

Doomguy scooped him up in a hug, “Hello, xB, you can call me Grandpa Flynn, or just Grandpa, or just Flynn, I don’t care. I have a grandson!”

“Nice-to-meet-you,” xB gasped.

“Dad, I don’t think he can breath.”

“Oh, right,” Flynn released his grandson, “sorry, got a little overexcited.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re back.”

“Glad to be back.”

“Do you want to go meet the rest of the server? There’s just under 30 of us, total.”

“Oh, you’ll love all of them. There’s me, of course, but Hypno and Jevin and Wels and False are all set up near me, Stress and Gem are also pretty close, and Doc and Ren are just past them, and…” xB rambled as the other three grabbed their helmets.

“You ready?” Alex asked, pushing open the door.

“Let’s go, I want to meet the rest of your family.”

[sparklingpax]

A Different Side (1/2)

Summary: Optimus comes back from an unsuccessful mission and seems to be out of sorts...but there’s more to that story. 

///

A/N: 

-This is a rather silly fic, so do not worry I promise there is nothing inappropriate or heavy in this one at all! It’s,,,a dumb idea I had in History the other day,,,I wrote most of it between/during class periods, and edited the rest when I was supposed to be doing homework at home! :’) 

-Please excuse any typos, grammar mistakes, ooc-ness, weird phrasings, punctuation errors, or really just anything that looks weird or isn’t right; I’m an amateur and I do this stuff for fun! So I’m naturally not the best at it....keep that in mind pls...

-WHAT IS THIS TITLE IM SO SORRY--

-Ok but this story is honestly kinda dumb goumen I’ll write better things soon

-Set in the TFP universe! 

-This only has two parts, so this be the first and the next update is the end of it.... 😹😹 ^^’’

Enjoy! :D 

///

“Eat my dust, Jack!”

“Not if I pass you first!!”

“No, you won’t!!!”

“Says who?!”

               Two cars raced around the base, one just barely passing the other.

               Miko and Jack had gone head-to-head, racing one last tournament before they had to go home—after the tie last round, they just had to know who, really, was the victor of the day. The two of them shouted competitively as they jammed the controls in one direction or another. Excited, Raf looked on. He, too, was curious of the outcome.

               At present, only Ratchet had remained at base.

               The others had gone out to investigate an abandoned energon mine somewhere in Maine. Optimus had visited the location once before but was not able to reach the source of the readings he’d gotten.

               Therefore, since there had been no Decepticon activity in the past week or so, he took his team to search the caverns.

               They were due to return in about 10 minutes, according to Ratchet. When they did, each guardian was then going to take their human companion home.

               It was a normal day at the Autobot base.

              “NO WAY—”

              “TAKE THAT!!!!”

              Jack threw his fist in the air triumphantly while Miko crumpled to the floor in defeat. Raf burst into laughter as she actually went and laid flat on her back.

             “The horror! I’ve let Jack win!!” She overdramatically wailed. Then, after a moment, sat up and giggled along with Raf and Jack. As the two went to retrieve their cars, Raf scampered up to Ratchet.

             “Hey, Ratchet. What are you doing?”

             The medic sighed, continuing to tinker with what looked like some kind of tool. “Fixing one of Bulkhead’s….accidents,” He muttered. With a sigh, he remembered the large mech smashing it while trying to reenact a fight he had, showing off to Miko. Naturally, the girl had been amazed, but it was short-lived as Ratchet, too, had witnessed that retelling.

              Raf fixed his glasses. “I’m sure it was just an accident, Ratchet.”

              With an eyeroll, Ratchet responded, “It was, but that doesn’t make it any less of an inconvenience, Rafael. It was quite immature of him, too.” He held it up to the light to observe a small detail of the frame.

              “Oh…I see.”

              “Thank the Allspark it’s not one of my more important tools,” he murmured, mostly to himself. Ratchet put it down for a moment to check on the progress of the rest of the team’s expedition.

              He pushed the comm button. “Optimus, come in. Have you found anything? Is everyone okay?”

             “Negative, Ratchet. There is nothing left in these caves,” he reported, a faint note of disappointment in his tone. “Though, everyone is fine. We require a bridge.”

              “Understood.”

              Ratchet tapped a few more buttons to lock onto their coordinates and pulled the lever, activating the groundbridge.  Miko and Jack broke off their conversation and joined Raf to stand by Ratchet, waiting for their guardians’ returns.

               Sure enough, after a moment, the team came through the portal with a swishing noise, Optimus the last one through. While the three kids gravitated to their partners, Optimus merely stood at the bridge. He remained for a moment, passing his gaze over his team.

              Then, without a word, he turned and headed down the halls—to his room.

              “Did you really think….” Arcee trailed off her snide remark at Jack as she heard Optimus’s heavy footsteps go past everyone and down the hall. She and Jack exchanged looks as everyone else, also, noticed this.

               After a short spell of silence, Miko finally spoke up.

               “Is he mad or something? Cuz I mean, geez—he didn’t even say hello.” She folded her arms.

               “No, Miko,” Ratchet responded, sounding a little exasperated. “What could he be angry over, if he were?” More silence followed his words. It was not often Optimus actually showed what he was feeling like this.

               Everyone was therefore concerned.

               “Do you think…he might be, like, really disappointed about not finding anything in the caves, then?” Jack asked, drifting from Arcee to the groundbridge area. “I mean, from what he’s been saying, you guys really needed that energon…”

               “He could just be tired, too,” Raf chimed in. The bots thought for a moment.

               Bumblebee shifted from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable. ‘I just hope he’s okay…’

               Ratchet set his tools aside and headed for the hall. “I’ll go talk to him,” he said. The humans and bots exchanged glances, then nodded.

///

               “So!” Ratchet huffed frustratedly, emerging from the halls. “He won’t open the door, and will not talk to me, either!” He threw his hands in the air with a noise of exasperation, trudging back to his station.

               Rafael nudged Miko, who had her headphones in. Jack stood up and began down the stairs.

               “I guess something is wrong,” Arcee murmured, folding her arms. She caught sight of Jack, regarding her companion with an inquisitive gaze.

               “Jack?”

               “I’ll talk to him.” He heard his own determined voice, then touched the back of his head with an awkward laugh. “I’ll—I’ll try, I mean…”

               “Good luck,” Ratchet muttered bitterly, not taking his eyes off his current repair project. “If he even has the courtesy to acknowledge you at all.”  Jack flashed a thumbs up.

He uneasily began to wonder what could have put Optimus so out of sorts that he wouldn’t even speak to Ratchet. It was also rare for Optimus to do this kind of thing, apparently.

Something told Jack it wasn’t just about the energon…but he still wanted to find out for himself.

               “Later, Jack!” Raf called, scampering down the steps. Miko followed, slinging her backpack onto her shoulders. She waved.

               “Yeah, we’re gonna go home now, but you better text us later, kay?” Bulkhead and Bumblebee then transformed, and the two kids hopped in. Ratchet, remembering he had to bridge them out, audibly sighed, slumping over.

               “For the love of Primus, am I able to get any work done around here without constantly being interrupted?!”

               That’s my cue to leave, Jack thought. He quickly hurried down the halls, not wanting to be the next victim of Ratchet’s frustration. He knew the medic only meant well, and that his work was important to him.

               Still, he internally wished Ratchet had more patience. Even if he didn’t scare Jack, it was still unpleasant to be around the old bot when he was not in a good mood.

               Speaking of which….

               Jack came upon Optimus’s berth room, which was closed. He sucked in a breath, raising his arm to knock. Hesitation pulled his arm back after a second.

               What if he is just resting? I’d be pretty ticked if someone interrupted my long nap…

               A memory of Miko pushing him off the couch as a prank resurfaced. He remembered feeling frustrated more than anything else. Of course, she’d apologized, but that wasn’t really going to give him back those precious minutes of sleep.

               He rolled his eyes. “What can you expect when you’re friends with Miko Nakadai, right?” He murmured, raising his arm again. But for the sake of satisfying my own curiosities, at least—

               “Hey, Optimus?” Jack called, knocking lightly. When he received no response for a few minutes, he sighed and knocked again—this time, a bit louder. “Optimus!! Are you okay in there?”

               There was a rustling noise from behind the door, but still no response. Jack decided to stop knocking. He put his back against the metal and slid to the floor. Maybe simply talking it out would help.

               “You know, everyone’s kinda worried about you…” He sighed again, laughing a little. “Oh, and Ratchet’s kinda mad you didn’t even acknowledge him. So…you’re probably gonna have to apologize for that later…”

               The boy bowed his head a little. It was possible Optimus wanted to be left alone right now. Coming to bother him might have been a mistake. Jack began to think up other ways he and the others could figure out—

               “Jack.”

               Optimus spoke at last, his voice sounding calm—completely level, actually. Instantly, the teen sprang to his feet and answered.

               “Optimus! Ok, good. You’re alive, then,” he joked. When the Prime didn’t respond to his jest—naturally—Jack shook his head and chuckled quietly. “It’s ok, I was joking. Anyway—do you….wanna talk? Is everything ok? You seemed kind of sad when you came through the bridge…and you didn’t even tell us how it went…”

               Didn’t tell us anything, actually, but I’ll leave that part out. I’m sure Optimus doesn’t want to be guilted for stuff at the moment.

               There was another noise—it sounded a little more desperate before it abruptly came to a stop. Then, the Autobot leader’s hefty footsteps began to approach the door. Jack backed away, glad that his efforts seemed to have paid off. The large metal sheet slid upwards, revealing Optimus’ huge figure.

               His face was completely expressionless, but he mustered a somewhat warm look when he gazed at Jack.

               Well, at least Optimus said something and…opened his door, Jack consoled himself mentally. Even though I still don’t know what’s bothering him. Guess we’ll just have to wait for him to tell us…

               “I will go apologize to Ratchet. It was not my intention to offend him…” He started out the door and down the hall. Then, he paused to face Jack for a moment as he added, “And my apologies also to you, I did not mean to worry anyone. Thank you for coming to get me.”

               “Oh—no, don’t worry about that, Optimus. It’s fine.”

               The Prime nodded briefly, saying nothing more. Jack watched him go. Now, he was even more confused than before.

               So why were you acting weird when you got back to base?

               By coincidence, his gaze happened to wander to Optimus’ open berth room. Jack had the sudden realization that he’d never seen Optimus’s berthroom before. Actually, he hadn’t seen any of the bots’ rooms since he’d known about their base.

               He left the door open, it wouldn’t hurt to go take a look…I think?

               Quietly, he padded inside. Taking a moment to look around, Jack noted that it was quite a huge space—way bigger than he’d expected from the size of the door.

It was also very….bare.

               No posters, furnishings, or anything other than the walls, his berth, and a small shelf. On that shelf, there was nothing except for some mystery object shoved in the corner, covered by an old blue cloth.

               “Exactly what you’d expect from a guy like Optimus,” Jack remarked to himself. He sighed and began to walk away, when suddenly a noise snapped his attention back around.

               Back to the shelf.

               Back to the blue cloth.

               A noise that had come from….

               “What is that thing?” Jack murmured to himself as he drew close to it again.

               He jumped back as it vibrated and briefly glowed a bright blue. It seemed to come back to life as a steady humming filled the air of the room. The teen came to a halt right in front of the shelf, placing his hands on his hips as he stared at it, curious and confused.

               Was he trying to hide this? Jack wanted even more to know what it did—what it was.

               And while he stared at it, the object beneath the cloth made another noise.

               “Roadwork ahead?? Uh, YEAH, I sure hope it does!”

               For a moment, Jack stood immobile. Then, he burst into laughter.  

               Optimus was watching vines….he was watching vines….Optimus Prime was watching vines.

               He suddenly remembered what had happened to his mom when she watched vine for the first time. For at least two long, painful weeks, the only things she said were vine quotes—in a failed attempt to be funny. 

               Optimus was watching….vines….oh no.

               Jack turned on his heel and sprinted down the halls.

....

I’ll edit and fix stuff later; I’m in class rn lolol :’D

Thx for reading!! Feedback is always appreciated~

<3

[marvels-agents100]

the keeper of horae

spring

seasons change, but he never does

pairing: aaron hotchner x gender neutral ! reader

warnings: fluffy soft hotch

word count: 1,775

author’s note: this is it, kids ! im sad to see this series end, but i will be grateful for its existence, not mourning over its loss. aaron might seem a lil ooc, simply because in this universe he and the reader are very ~ poetic ~ so,,,, yeah. enjoy, thank you joining me on this journey

The conference room was silent, empty of life besides Aaron, who gently took the official crime scene photos off of the evidence board. The lines below his eyes ran deeply, his shoulders weighed down by the pure exhaustion that coursed through his veins. A soft click echoed from the door, his eyes dragging lazily to see who had entered the room. He could only muster a small smile when he saw it was you.

“The rest of the team is already back at the hotel,” you said quietly, your hands intertwining behind your back, “how are you doing, boss? I can handle this, if you want to go get some sleep.”

“I’ll be okay,” he answered quietly, turning back towards the mostly empty cork board, “you should rest.”

Your teeth gnawed on your lower lip for a moment, mind contemplating your next question, “Can I show you something?”

His gaze found you once more, eyebrows pulling together, “What is it?”

“It’s a ten minute drive,” you explained, “but, I can promise you won’t regret it.”

He held you in his stare for a second, trying in vain to pull any nonverbal clues as to what you were talking about. When no hints were visible, he let out a small sigh, “Alright, okay.”

The drive was silent, the sun beginning to settle into the mountains as you reached your destination.

You exited the car, Aaron not far behind you, and walked off of the dirt road. He was on your heels, not once questioning where you led him. You looked back and offered your hand with a small smile, his steps faltering slightly, before he reached and interlocked his palm with yours. You tugged him along by his arm, your forward focus missing the blissed smile that graced his lips.

You finally reached the small hill; the hill whose west side was covered in vibrant wildflowers, facing directly at the setting sun. Releasing Aaron’s hand, you walked into the flowers and sat yourself in the midst of their color, legs crossing as your eyes stared at the yellow and orange that painted the sky. He followed your actions, shoulder brushing yours as he settled into the ground, legs stretched in front of him and palms leaning on the earth behind him.

He looked at the land around him; flowers dancing in the breath of spring, their lively hues bringing the promise of sunshine and occasional soft, warm rain. He breathed in deeply, letting the smell of honey and lavender overwhelm him, the wind carrying the fragrance of the blooming petals beneath it.

“Spring is my favorite season,” you spoke softly, your words being carried by the breeze, “it always reminds me of how alive our earth is.”

He hummed in response, eyes skimming over the pink that reflected off of the clouds.

“Why did you bring me here?” He questioned, his voice low and soft.

You looked to him, studying the way the sun reflected in his honeycomb irises, “This case was a bad one.”

His gaze met yours, “It was.”

“You said once that you had begun to see the beauty of this world,” you nearly whispered, “I figured you would need to witness some of that beauty after this week.”

Eyes jumping between yours, the corner of his lips twitched upwards, “Thank you.”

You nodded once before looking back to the falling sun, it’s rays reaching desperately to cling to the clouds. The flowers surrounding you perfumed the air, carding through your hair and embracing you completely. A content sigh escaped you, a smile settling on your face.

His eyes never left you, tracing over the slope of your nose and the minuscule curl of your lips. He memorized the way your hair seemed to glow in the orange light of the sun, the way your eyelashes brushed delicately against the wind, the way your shoulders relaxed as you took in the scenery surrounding you. He wanted to commit every detail of you to memory, just so he could look upon you when you were absent. But, the more he tried, the more he realized- you were already there, living in his thoughts. 

He could remember the way the snowflakes landed on your eyelashes and reddened your nose as he wrapped his scarf around your neck, or the way the ocean sparkled light into your eyes as you told him how you confessed your secrets to the sea, or how your skin glowed next to the golden leaves that surrounded you, his scarf once again draped upon your shoulders. He didn’t need to remember every hair and freckle and wrinkle and dimple- he already knew them, he already knew you.

“I don’t need the world’s beauty,” he confessed, the words tumbling from his mind to his mouth before he had a chance to hold them back. You looked to him, head tilting in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean- I just,” he sighed, closing his eyes momentarily to collect himself, “This world is bright, it’s beautiful, and it took me a long time to realize that,” he looked towards the sun, “the sun shines it’s light down upon us, whether we deserve it or not.” He looked back to you, your eyebrows raised in curiosity, “You helped me see it. I was so focused on the night, that I never saw the stars.”

Your cheeks began to redden.

“But, my love,” he continued, “none of this beauty can compare to the beauty within you.”

You took a shaky breath in, willing the tears glistening your eyes to go away.

“Aaron Hotchner, are you calling me pretty?” You chuckled, your voice coming out watery and wavering.

He let out a small laugh, “I am,” his smile remained, “but not just in how you look, but who you are.”

Your hand quickly wiped at the droplet that trailed down your cheek, eyes blinking to prevent any further losses. “You’re making me cry,” you joked.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his thumb reaching forward and delicately brushing your cheekbone.

You sniffled, “You deserve to see it, the light this world has. You’ve lived in darkness and pain for so long.”

“And now, because of you,” he held onto your cheek, “I can believe that.”

Your eyes searched his face, your head leaning into his touch. 

“I always talk about the seasons,” you begin, “how each one is uniquely captivating,” your hand came to rest upon his, “and I always mention the sun, moon, and stars, how they’re constant and beautiful and wonderful.”

You broke his stare for just a moment, collecting your courage before looking at his warm honey eyes once again.

“It’s always been you, Aaron, you are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars. You are my winter, summer, autumn, and spring. You are every breeze that brushes the leaves, every petal the flowers grow. You’re every drop of rain, every ray of sunshine. Hell, Aaron, you are the words that fill the pages of my story, and I wouldn’t ever want to change that.”

He could feel the tear roll down his cheek, tracing along his dimples and dripping from his chin. He breathed, trying to ground the sudden dizziness that overwhelmed his head- probably from his heart beating far too rapidly- before speaking.

“I am completely and utterly in love with you,” he whispered, voice wavering slightly.

A wide, uncontrollable smile took over your face, your arms reaching to latch on around his neck, your body colliding into his as you let yourself fall into his arms. Your face rested in his neck, your giggles muffled by his skin.

“I can’t believe this is real,” you spoke against his pulse, “please tell me this is real, not just a dream.”

“You’re awake, love,” he whispered into your hair, back landing on the ground as he pulled you impossibly closer. 

Your head lifted, face hovering above his. You admired how the wildflowers adorned him, the foliate creating a crown around his head. His eyes were still golden and soft, staring at you with a look of adoration. You hand brushed along his cheek, thumb grazing his bottom lip.

“Can I kiss you?” Your whispered, your words no more than a breath, their only listener being the man before you and the blossoms surrounding him.

“Always.”

Your head dipped slowly, giving plenty opportunity to put an end to everything before it had even started, but he gave no complaint as you inched closer to him. His eyes fluttered shut, hands reaching your cheeks, your breath upon his lips. You paused, lips brushing against his, letting yourself smile just one last time before finally reaching him.

His lips connected to yours with a soft passion, a sigh leaving his chest as he gripped onto your cheek. Your fingers wrapped around the hair along the nape of his neck, a satisfied groan escaping him. Pulling you closer, he refused to let you go, despite his hungry lungs.

The way your lips felt against his just made him fall further. He decided then, while kissing you in a field of flowers as the sunset watched, that he would do anything for you. If the stars ceased to exist, he would hang each individual light just to fill your eyes with wonder. If the clouds fell from the sky, he would spend a lifetime painting them back onto the sunlight, just to see you smile at them once more. If all the blossoms shriveled and died, he would summon the April showers just to make the May flowers grow. If you chose to dance in the rain, he would dance alongside you, with joy in your smiles and daisies in your hair. You had planted a seed in his heart as the snow fell to the ground, and now, in the middle of Spring, your seed had become a garden.

You pulled away from him, despite your mind’s protests. Lips still brushing against his, your chest heaved slightly to make up for lost air.

“Promise me,” you said breathlessly, “promise you’ll never stop kissing me like that, you’ll never stop loving me like this.”

“I promise, on everything I am,” he swore, just as winded as you.

Your lips met his again, but pulled away after a moment.

“I love you too, by the way,” you giggled.

He laughed, a full laugh that crinkled the corners of his eyes and nearly burst your swollen heart.

And you knew. You knew he would keep his promise, you knew he would love you endlessly. 

You knew that your love was just a bud, and would only continue to grow.

taglist:

@quillvine​ @winterscaptain​

[bredsticon-blog]

title: the alternative

part: one (saint or sinner)

desc: you have died. you weren't an extraordinary person when you were alive--you made a few little sins and a few little good deeds, but it's not enough to land you in heaven nor hell. so the reaper gives you two choices: be in limbo forever, or serve equal years in heaven and hell. well, you choose the latter...

tags: angel!nick & demon!zion love triangle (or not? wink), heaven and hell au (yes ik purgatory exists but it has different purposes for this series), ooc (on purpose, i swear), sfw (as in, no smut), gore, violence (i mean, you're in hell...), cussing, murder, mentions of: rape, abuse, addiction (alcohol, LSD, heroin, uhh everything else), mental issues (depression, suicide), and death in general. gender/sex neutral reader (as always) and humor to lighten the mood

word count: 2k

notes: it isn't nearly as scary as the tags make it seem, i promise. i spent a l o n g time on the promo art for this (which imma post LATER) so uhh please read :'( haha yes i WILL finish writing the fma!austin fic and make the part 2 for ¡quake! & ~the wave~ but my ass is still collecting gifs and cleaning up plot holes sksksk and on the 2.76% chance the boys read this: hi follow me im @/bredsticon on ig, i make quality content and be more active on tumblr please we love you

You don't remember dying.

You're dead, and you don't remember dying.

Perhaps, in another life, you once thought that death accompanied a special feeling: life flashing before your eyes, lights out, everything over before your last breath escapes your lungs. But this is... this is slow. So slow. You're still on earth. Floating.. somewhere. Nowhere else. You see the world, all of it. Stars twinkle in the mist. The world around you is gray and dark. You watch your home fall apart. Every crack and shake is in full detail, and, dimly, you watch the sprouting of vines and weeds in its place. The weeds brush heads as they cluster your old house, your old neighborhood, your old country, your old everything.

You're old.

Breathless doesn't begin to describe it. You don't have lungs. You don't have... you don't. You just don't. You are nowhere. You are nothing. You don't exist.

Someone waves inside of you.

What the—

"Hello, Soul One-Hundred Thirty-Three Billion, Seventy-Five Million and Sixty-Five. You're late."

An NYC accent? You're from—

"Now that's a mouthful. I'll just call you Rosebud. See, you were supposed to cross over..." A watch ticks inside your... your form? You? "...millennia ago. Five millennia, in fact."

The voice throws a powder on you. Something blooms inside you, and you fall to the ground.

You gasp—holy shit, you can gasp. You move your head around. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, you have muscles, you have form, you can move. You exist.

The voice has a form, too. He looks like you: human. Flaming blue hair, khaki-colored skin with reddish-pink polka dots and marks. He wears modern clothes: a bright yellow vest and green pants. And glowing. He's like a painting. Human, kinda.

You gape at him. This doesn't exist. This can't exist. You thought you'd be nothing forever. But now you're something and that's something and the world around you is still murky but it's something and oh my God. Oh my fucking God. What happened to you? What happened to your home? Why aren't you dead?

The form smiles at you. "Be careful with mentioning the Master Creator so much. They're listening, y'know. They can tell when you're talking about Them."

He offers you a hand. Shaking, you take it. You wobble so hard you grab his shoulder, and he pats your wrist.

"Relax, Rosebud, we're gonna go up now. Take my hands." Gently, he takes your hand off his shoulder and interlocks your fingers together. You close your eyes as he pulls you close.

Once you open them, you're no longer on Earth.

You're in an office.

Vaguely relaxing piano music plays in the background. The walls gleam "eggshell white" (whatever that means), and copy-and-paste potted plants commiserate in corners, on shelves, and on top of desks. Rows and rows of cubicles line up in front of you, complete with ancient computers, loud clicking, and early morning groans of "I need more coffee, for fu- fun's sake!" A vending machine and a water cooler stand behind you, with banged-up tables interspersed between those.

Someone rises out of a cubicle. His skin is pale, but his hair is dark. "Reaper Honoret Jr.! Is that—oh my goodness, is that the stray? You did it! It took a few millennia, but you did it!"

Honoret Jr. grimaces. "My bad, Dad. The soul blended in so well, it took me a while... my readings showed complete neutrality. It's like there's no one there." The reaper looked back at you. "I only caught a flicker. Right now, I can't—"

His dad chuckles. "Not Dad. It's Reaper Honoret Sr. to you." He winks. "I'm kidding, y'know how they get around here."

He comes forward and wraps his arms around the boy, then unlatches. Without Honoret Jr's support, you fall to the ground, so you watch as he holds his son's shoulders. "Your bad? What do you mean? I'm proud of you. So, so proud. You're the only one who could even—actually, wait."

He turns to face the cubicles. "Reapers of Thanatos & Co., guess who just caught the stray!"

The clicking stops.

Someone coughs. "You're joking, right?"

"Absolutely not. In fact, it's behind me, right now."

Chairs scoot on scratchy carpet as the reapers of Thanatos & Co. nearly jump out of their cubicles to see you. Forty reapers dressed in some manner of business attire speed walk in your direction. One pushes Honoret Jr. out of the way—his dad has to catch him before he falls on his face.

When they see you, they stop. They start staring at the air around you. They sniff like blood hounds.

After a pause, a reaper with large eyebrows turns to another, eyes wide. "I think... I can't... I literally..."

The other nods. "Same here. Reaper Honoret Sr. isn't lying."

The crowd murmurs in agreement.

A reaper with short pink hair raises his hand. When no one calls on him, he puts it down and mutters something about being new. "Wait, if Reaper Honoret Sr. found the stray, shouldn't we tell the Grand Reaper about it first?"

Once more, the crowd murmurs in agreement.

The eyebrow reaper stares at you—no, not at you. Into you. Like you're not even there. "Before that, we need to know who found it. Reaper Honoret Sr., did you find it? We need someone to congratulate."

He grins. "Nope! My son did." He shook his boy's shoulders.

The reaper raises a brow, then gives the blue-haired reaper a look. "Oh. Well, uhm, congratulations."

The crowd weakly claps. Good job... mhm... congratulations, Junior... and then they disperse back into their leather spin chairs.

Honoret Jr. turns to you and makes a face. "Sorry about that. Office drama. Can't escape it, even in this world."

He doesn't look like a reaper to you. No black cloak, no creepy aura, no skeleton fingers. Kind, colorful, couldn't be a reaper. Nope. Impossible. None of this is.

"You're not believing a lot of things, I know. The first few days are the hardest." He gifts you with another smile. "You'll get there, I promise. I'm here to help.

"Name's Edwin, by the way. You've been calling me Honoret Jr. and that just gives me middle school flashbacks. No thanks."

You can't even make a proper facial expression to react to that. You can't formulate words—or even walk without Edwin holding your hand. He's reading your thoughts, at least. You're basically a vegetable.

He shrugs. "Give it a few hours, Rosebud. The vegetable'll wear off. Your body's just adjusting to this plane. No shame."

You can't speak, so you just think of the word: thanks. My name is—

"Oh, I know what your name is. I've been searching for you for five millennia. I'd be a horrible reaper if I didn't know."

He extends a hand. "Speaking of vegetable and horrible reaper, I bet you're hungry. You're also naked. Let's fix that."

-

Reapers need to eat, surprisingly. Edwin leads you through a myriad of hallways with the exact same paintings and potted plants (this is disgustingly easy to get lost in, you think. Edwin agrees) until you reach the break room. It takes you an hour.

No one's in there except you two. Edwin gave you some of his clothes (kept in another room), so you're wearing a red fit with a black vest and a lime green beanie. He tried to offer his matching ski mask, but you managed to mentally shout "No!" before he put it away. You don't mind wearing his stuff, but you wonder what that could imply. Do reapers...? Actually, you don't wanna think about that.

The break room curves up into a sparkling, plastic chandelier. The rest of the room accommodates a fridge plastered in posters, a microwave, and a dirty coffee maker paired with beige countertops. A pile of paper plates and utensils decorates the left countertop, while a sink occupies the right end. Island tables take up the rest of the center, leaving room for vending machines in the back.

Edwin scrunches his nose. "Who's bummy ass forgot to wash the coffee pot? Ew." He examines it, then starts washing the dishes.

He looks back at you. "You can go raid the fridge. Just don't touch the lunch boxes or uh—bento boxes, I think. Those are Reaper Porter's, and he will get very mad if you touch his bento. I did that once, so he threw a fork at me then said I messed with his feng shui."

Edwin mutters something about unseasoned chicken as he continues scrubbing coffee stains.

You stand up. Your walk is wobbly at best, and you feel like a pile of jello—you're weak in the knees, like jello. But you're getting there. Its better than before. At some point in your hour-long journey to the break room, poor Edwin had to carry you. You felt bad, but at least he's strong. Maybe it's a reaper thing.

You stumble to the fridge. Posters and dates and schedules cover the surface, but you brush past them to find what truly matters: the food.

Reaper office food tastes just as bland as human office food. How sad.

You find that your body works just like it used to. You're hungry, you can feel pain, and you're starting to move. It's like you never died. And now you're in a huge office full of slightly-glowy people who call themselves Reapers and also can't sense you, which is a concept you still don't understand. Or maybe you didn't die? Maybe someone stirred some LSD in your drink? And this is all... a major... acid... trip...

You blink, then pinch yourself. Nope. You're 'swell.

Edwin pulls out a chair. "Now that we're done with the basics, Rosebud, we need to get you registered. You're a bit of a weird case, but you're not too too special. Just uncommon."

He pauses. "Well, actually, you might be a little more special than that. Just a tad."

You give him a look. Something builds in your throat.

"What the fuck?"

He giggles. "Those are your first words on this plane? I—"

"No, seriously. What. The. Fuck." You sound like a cheese grater but you don't care. "I literally have no idea what's going on. I died, I think, then I watched mankind die too as the Earth turned into dandelions, then you went inside of me and threw some pixie dust to make me come back again, suddenly I'm in a 90s sitcom office and I'm naked which literally no one told me about until everyone else saw me as bare as the day I was born and—"

Edwin pats your hand. "All right, all right, let it out, let it out. I'll explain everything. It's just really long." He rubs the back of his neck. "And we're kinda on a time crunch here."

"A time crunch. When it took us an hour just to get a snack."

"Yes, a time crunch. We have about two more hours to get you registered before you become tied to this plane. Then you'll have to become a reaper, like me, and you don't wanna become a reaper." He bites deeply into his peanut butter and banana sandwich. "Shit's hard."

"I can't even—"

"Mhm." He says through a mouthful of peanut butter. "I'm rellay sorreh you're goineh frough thif. I geh how you feel. Eferyone dehs."

He swallows. "We all started out alive. No one's been here since the beginning. Except for some of the seraphim, I guess. But the rest of us? We just humans the Master Creator decided to gift. You're not alone in this. I went through the same bullshit as you. I get it."

You bow your head down. Your thoughts are too jumbled to feel actual anger. "Thanks, Edwin."

"You honestly deserve better, but no problem." He stands up and wipes his hands on a napkin. "Imma clean up after myself, so you can get a head start. We do only have two hours." He yanks you out of the chair. Still chewing, you watch as Edwin shoves you out the break room.

"Wait—hold up—wh—I don't know where I'm supposed to—"

He grins. "You will! Your senses will guide you."

"What— more vague shi—" and the door slams.

[iridescemce]

1983 Is Calling

@cinnamonriko : Could you write a fic about Penny and Ben introducing MC to muggle culture

WORD COUNT: 1284

WARNINGS: nah, just a lot of wholesome friends chatting and accepting each other

AN: I took some liberties with the request, and since hogwarts mystery is set in the 80’s i added in a time appropriate song. I think I might make a second part, let me know if you’d like that? Kinda left it hanging? I hope you like it!! wrote it in a very short amount of time, but it was fun, but might be a bit ooc (ps im aware that the story takes place in 1984+ but i like the song 1983 by neon trees so)

EDIT: i made this post private and restructured, and reworked a lot of this, and am more happy with it now! i’m not sure if it is up to par with my other works, but i it was just fun to write honestly, so here it is! (sorry that is took so long, pal)

----

“You know, when I found out I was a wizard, I thought about Mickey Mouse in that blue hat with the stars,” Ben mused out loud. “You know, from Fantasia.”

You look up from you History of Magic homework and give him a puzzled look. Mickey Mouse? Fantasia? You love studying with Penny and Ben in the Great Hall, but some of the things they say go straight over your head. They’re both smart, so you figure it’s just an old community they were referencing. Or maybe it’s some obscure story you don’t know about? Maybe Penny doesn’t even know what Fantasia is. Either way, you shake your head, it’s probably not a big deal or anything.

But Penny’s nodding her head enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling, and you were even more confused than you were before, because maybe Fantasia is a big deal, and you really should know about it.

“Oh, yes! My dad would put it on for me and Beatrice all the time when we were kids, he loved it so much,” Penny says. “Mum always thought it was a load of hogwash, because magic doesn’t really work like that and she’s right, but I just thought it was fun to watch!”

“Er, what’s Fantasia?” You butt into the conversation. You need to know, because your friends clearly know, and you’re starting to feel red heat crawling up the back of your neck from embarrassment. “Is it like some obscure magical event?”

Ben and Penny take quick glances at each other before bursting into laughter, Penny with her tinkling giggle and charming smile, and Ben with his timid but genuine chuckle. You frown, feeling your stomach do backflips and somersaults.

“We’re sorry, Y/N. Fantasia is a film!” Penny explains in between giggles. “I forget you didn’t grow up with any muggle parents or friends.”

Your cheeks flush bright red, feeling like a moron for not knowing anything about Muggle culture. Two of your friends have muggle parents, Penny’s dad is a Muggle, and Ben is a Muggleborn, and you never asked anything about their own life outside of Hogwarts which is making you feel immensely guilty now.

“Er, film?”

“It’s like how the pictures here move, but they follow a script, and they’re not alive. It’s kind of like watching a story with moving pictures?” Ben tries to explain, and you sort of understand what he means.

Penny nods.“And there are so many of them!”

“Some of them are really scary, though.”

You toss Ben a knowing look when he says that.

“And Mickey Mouse is a character in Fantasia, because it’s like a drawing, so the mouse is kind of like a person? It’s hard to explain,” Penny adds, answering your unasked question.

Your eyes widen, trying to imagine a mouse/human creature. The image you conjured in your head is sort of disturbing. You grimace in response, much to Ben and Penny’s dismay.

“You’d have to see it, it’s not as weird as it sounds,” Ben mutters.You shake your head, recovering from the image. You had no idea that Muggles had different kinds of entertainment, than wizards did, you just thought that they did everything wizards did except magic.

“So wait, obviously they don’t play Quidditch, because of brooms, so…” You trail off, trying to think of other games without magic, but Gobstones and Exploding Snap were both very reliant on magic.

“Oh, Muggles have tons of sports, there’s football, and rugby, and lacrosse,” Penny lists, counting them off her fingers. “No magic. Just feet and equipment. It’s fun to watch, Beatrice used to do football when she was younger, so did I.”

“My mum wanted me to do rugby, she thought it would toughen me up, but thank Merlin we found out I was a wizard. It sounded scary, you know tackling people huddled in a circle for a ball,” Ben admits sheepishly, and then looks over at you, and then Penny for reassurance. “That is what rugby is, right?”

Penny smiles and nods, while you just shrug, you have no idea what rugby is, and you don’t really want to know since Ben spoke so poorly of it.

“Yeah, mostly, Ben,” she assures Ben, grinning. “I’m glad you’re a wizard, so you at least didn’t get forced into Rugby. My dad forced us to listen to Wham! too many times last summer.”

“That sounds violent,” you interject, and then think about what Fantasia was compared to what you thought. “Wait, what is Wham!?”

Ben laughs, more confidently than usual, which somehow makes you slightly unsettled.

“They’re a band, and they are not violent,” Ben stated. “At all. Penny, George Michael is amazing! You’re lucky, my parents refuse to listen to Wham!, I wish I could hear “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” one more time, right now.”

A girl, behind you, starts giggling uncontrollably. You turn around to see a red headed Hufflepuff girl stifling laughter. 

“Sorry, it’s just, my mum is always humming along to that song, I couldn’t escape it during Easter break,” she says, with a tone of amusement but also frustration, if that was even possible. “I can’t believe you’re not sick of it by now, I sure am.”

She turns back to her studies, and you turn back to look at Ben, who shrugs and sighs, looking slightly defeated but also unashamed.

“I like George Michael, and besides, I never get to listen to them hear, or really at home,” Ben huffs in mild frustration. You scrunch your eyebrows in thought, and wonder what is so appealing about this song, and why you desperately want to hear it now. You can’t even begin to imagine it.

Penny’s eyes light up, and she shoots up like a dart, so quickly, you think the energy flowing off her might have pushed you back out of your seat a little bit. 

“Merlin, you scared me, Penny!” You yelp, putting your hand to your chest, checking your heartbeat. It’s racing, just as you thought it would be, but still, you try to catch your breath.

“Sorry, Y/N, but I just had the most brilliant idea!” She exclaims, clapping her hands together, and then sitting down in with a slight pink tinge on her cheeks.

“You and Ben should come over this summer holiday to my house! We can show you what Fantasia is, and rugby, and Wham!, oh it would be so fun, and I know my parents would be thrilled to meet my friends!” 

You inhale a breath of excitement at the thought of going to Penny’s house in the summer. It was rare that you went anywhere during the holidays, your parents wanted to keep you close ever since Jacob disappeared. You knew they worried the same would happen to you, but it didn’t stop you from being extremely upset about being cooped up at home all the time. What you would do to get out of the house during the summer holidays...

“Penny, that would be fantastic!” You cheer. “But I would have to ask my parents, they’re kind of strict with Jacob gone…”

Ben nudges your arm from across the table, and gives you a small smile. It’s enough to give you some assurance that things might work out in your favour.

“Me too, Y/N, but it wounds super fun,” Ben adds in. “I’m sure we could figure something out.”

Penny beams, and you can’t help beaming back because she’s radiating with light. It’s a brilliant idea, and one you would love to make happen.

And from Penny’s radiant smile, and Ben’s reassuring nudges, you think you might just find out what Mickey Mouse looks like, and if George Michael’s voice is something worth hearing.

Oh, and if rugby is just as bad as Ben made it sound, because if it was, it terrified you more than any Voldemort Boggart did.

You could hardly wait to find out.

[slashersteve]

Knight in Shining Armor (Steve Harrington x Female Reader)

Requested by: @cometoceantrenches ( Okie since you take requests, is it okay if you write smth with our boi Steve where the reader drops off their younger sister at the Snow Ball the same time Steve drops off Dustin but Steve offers to take the reader home but they end up at a cafe or smth and talk abt the crazy stuff that happened (fighting the demodogs and all that) and end up confessing to each other?? im sorry if its long af, you just write rlly well *ugly cries*)

Summary: While waiting for the Snow Ball to end, Steve and you catch up at a local cafe where they recount the events of the demo-dogs, and then conversation becomes personal.

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Female Reader

Warnings: fluffy af and some smooches. Also get’s a bit emotional towards the end. lets also assume he’s always ooc to me

Word Count: 3k+

Note: if there is another gif that kills me it’s also this one!  I kind of just a little went overboard and it’s pretty long but I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! Enjoy!!!

Masterlist

Minor Spoilers of Season 2!!

“Do I look okay?” your sister Jen asked for the 100th time from the backseat of your mother’s car. You rolled your eyes, not even bothering to look at her.

“You look great, Jen,” you replied.

“You didn’t even look!” she cried.

For perhaps the third time you spun yourself around to take a look at your sister who was all dolled up and ready for the Snow ball.

“You look beautiful, now stop asking and stop touching your hair,” you slapped her hand away lightly, she flinched and grumbled. You knew she had a crush on one of the boys there, she just wouldn’t tell you who it was. But by how nervous she was, and how she was acting, you knew what was bothering her.

“Hey...whoever this boy you’re crushing over...he’s gonna think you’re the most beautiful girl in the room okay? And he’s going to ask you to dance,” you said, fixing her hair for her. Jen blushed.

“And if he doesn’t?”

You scoffed, “Then he’s a damn idiot, and you’re too good for him,” Jen let out a laugh. Your mother glanced at you two before pulling up in front of the school, behind another car who was dropping off their kid.

Unfortunately for you, your mother had wanted you to stick around the parking lot all night and wait for the Snow ball to end. Also, it was really, really cold out there. But, you didn’t want your mom to worry over Jen all night, so you agreed to stay. You would find something to do, even if that included freezing to death.

Death. Hah. That word honestly didn’t even faze you that much anymore, not after what had occurred in the past month. Images of alien like dog creatures Dustin had called ‘Demo-dogs’ flashed through your mind, especially of the one he called ‘Dart’ who nearly chewed your face off. And then there was that girl with the slicked back hair who everyone seemed to recognize except for you and Steve. Apparently, she had superpowers and helped close the gate and saved the world or something. You honestly didn’t know what to believe, or even do with all this newfound information.

You guessed life would just go on eventually, and somehow you’d manage to live past it.

You stood next to your sister, both of you waving good-bye to your mother, who yelled, “Have a good time and be safe!” before driving off and out of the drop-off zone. Jen sighed, flattening down her light pink dress.

“Are you really going to stay out here all night?” Jen asked as you both walked towards the entrance, you shrugged.

“It’ll be fun- staying out here all by myself in the freezing cold in order to avoid my past middle school teachers trying to catch up with me,” Jen laughed, stopping in front of the entrance and turning to face you.

“Are you sure I look okay, (y/n)?”

You glared slightly at her, pretty sure she’s just taking in the compliments, but you just smiled and held a thumbs up. Jen was about to speak before her eyes caught something behind you. Her cheeks suddenly turned the same color as her dress. You raised a brow, and turned around, seeing who had made her all flustered.

“Dustin?” you asked, the younger boy was surprised to see you here, but not as surprised as you when you saw how much his hair looked super familiar.

“What are you doing here, (y/n)?” he asked, you tore your eyes from his hair and pointed behind you.

“Just dropping off Jen-” but when you turned around, she was gone and already in the gym. You blinked, huffing slightly as you realized that Dustin was the boy she was so keen on. You laughed lightly, thinking that it was the cutest thing ever.

Your mind went back to Dustin’s hairstyle the moment you looked back at him.

“Okay- tell me right now...is Steve your role model or something?” You asked, jokingly. Dustin gave you an annoyed look before you chuckled, “You look great kiddo, now go in there and for the love of god find Jen and ask her to dance,” you winked. Dustin furrowed his eyebrows.

“Wait- what? really?”

You clicked your tongue before your eyes went to the car Dustin had gotten out of. Your jaw dropped when you instantly recognized it as Steve’s. Dustin noticed your excitement and gave a smug smile.

“He’s staying because he saw you and is hoping you’ll go over there to talk or something,” he said nonchalantly, you side-glanced Dustin, seeing him look at the car and wave. You can just feel Steve’s glare on the kid. You merely laughed it off.

“Don’t you have a ball to attend, kid?” you asked, Dustin cursed softly and walked into the entrance, muttering something about asking Jen to dance, a cheeky grin on his face. You shook your head, crossing your arms against your chest before turning and starting to walk over to Steve’s car.

You leaned down to his open window, a toothy grin and asked, “Is that you Steve? My knight in shining armor?” Steve smiled at the sight of you, and waved your comment off.

“Yeah, the one and only,” he responded, knowing you were referring to when he saved you from losing your face to some demo-dog, “Are you going to head home?”

You shook your head.

“Gotta stay here until it ends and make sure Jen is still alive after or something,” you shrugged, Steve laughed.

“Oh no- that’s not okay,” he said, “As your knight in shining armor, I’m going to save you from freezing to death…” he reached over and opened the car door, his other hand still resting on the wheel. You put your hand over your heart.

“Wow...what a gentlemen,” you commented as you climbed into his car, Steve shrugged, eyes still resting on you. You didn’t notice the way he stared at you, like Dustin had noticed when Steve pulled up and saw you.

“That’s what I am, didn’t you know?”

You just hummed, hugging your arms closer to you. Steve noticed, eying your shivering form before an idea popped in his mind.

“Wanna go get a warm drink or something?” he asked, you tilted your head in thought.

“Warm drink? You mean like coffee?” you asked, a playful glint in your eyes.Steve stared at you for a moment, before realizing how stupid he must sound.

“I said that…” he muttered. You snickered, but nodded.

“Yeah, I could go for a warm drink…” Steve cracked a smile, eyes still lingering on yours before starting his car. When he looked away as he began to drive out of the parking lot, you looked at the side of his face, thinking you saw a shade of pink on his cheeks...but it was too dark.

Since it had been a bit late, the cafe Steve took you to was nearly empty. There had been only one person ahead of you in line, and about 3 people sitting in different tables. Steve held his arm in front of you as you searched for your wallet in your bag.

“I got it…” he said, you squinted your eyes before pulling your hands out of your bag and holding them up in defeat. You stood close behind him and told him close to his ear what you wanted to order, teasing him. You could see him tense up when your hand lightly met his arm, and fight a smile as he continued the order.

He didn’t say anything about your light teasing, which indicated that he didn’t notice or ignored it. That thought made you frown as he carried both of your drinks to a more secluded area of the cafe. It was in a booth towards the back, in front of a large window. What made things more calm and relaxing was how dimmed up the cafe was.

It was really nice to be here, especially with Steve.

He set down your drink in front of you as you removed your coat and gloves.

“Thank you for the drink Steve, but you really didn’t have to do it...I feel bad now,” you admitted, taking the hot in your hand carefully.

“When a handsome guy takes a pretty girl somewhere...he has to pay,” he claimed, you rolled your eyes softly.

“Oh please- you’re words are just making me-” you wiped under your eyes, faking tears.

“Come on, (y/n), don’t mess around with me like that,” he joked back, a smile resting on his thin lips. You sighed, taking a sip of the hot liquid, it burning your tongue only slightly.

There was a comfortable silence between you two as you got warmed up and drank your beverages. You had been kind of staring at Steve, admiring his features as his eyes stared out the window at the streets of Hawkins.

He was a really good looking kid, with thick hair, and an even thicker heart. You wondered just how far you two would take these “dates” and flirting...

He suddenly huffed out a laugh, breaking your thoughts away.

“You know- I wish we got to know each other under better circumstances, like at school on a normal day or something,” he suddenly said, you scrunched up your face, not knowing what he meant. He could see your confusion, “You know with the whole me saving you from the demo-dog before you became it’s next meal,” he reminded.

“Oh yeah,” you suddenly remembered. You had forgotten about it when you were busy admiring the man before you, “That was...really scary- I remember seeing a dead rabbit on the side of the street- then all of a sudden something just starts growling at me,” you said shaking your head, seeing the thing standing on all fours at the other side of the street.

You had honestly thought it was a stray dog gone savage at first, but when it got closer you quickly realized it was anything but a dog. You were a fast enough thinker to quickly run and get your ass away from that thing though.

It chased you down the woods, you had forgotten why you were even out there that late. You gave it your best shot, but the creature got to you. It had tackled you the floor and revealed it’s bloodthirsty intentions.

It’s “face” opened up like some kind of deadly flower, filled with razor sharp teeth that could kill you the moment they sunk into your skin. If Steve hadn’t of been nearby near the abandoned bus, trying to lure the demo-dog, you would of been dead meat.

“God the way you swung that bat and just-bam!” you said too excitedly, “That was...honestly Steve really hot,” you admitted, making him almost spit his drink out.

“Are you serious?” he asked, you nodded sipping your drink, it being warmer this time. Steve smirked, and nodded, feeling content, “In a way, I’m kind of glad you showed up,”

You raised both brows.

“It wasn’t like i planned to ‘show up’,” you scoffed. Steve shook his head.

“No I mean- it felt a bit like fate for us to meet that way,” he explained, “I saved your life- and well- you saved my life…” he trailed off. You instantly remembered what he was talking about.

After he saved you from becoming the demo-dog’s dinner, more of them had showed up. You two had to think quick to get out of the danger zone and into the bus. Steve was struggling to get away with one, and without a second thought you got a hold of a stick and whacked it hard.

Steve had stared at you with some sort of amazement before you two made a run inside of the bus.

“Fate, you say?”

Steve nodded.

You suddenly grew silent, feeling a ghostly feeling go over you. It had only been about a month since it happened, and you couldn’t help but feel so...terrible when it crossed your mind. You felt afraid, and confused.                    

“(y/n)?” Steve’s voice suddenly pulled you back into reality in the cafe. There was a burning sensation in your hand that caused you to quickly set down the drink you were once clenching. He had both hands on the table, looking at you with concerned eyes, “(y/n)?” he said your name again.

“Does...Does it haunt you?” you asked, talking through the tight knot in your throat at the dark feeling that came over you. Steve raised a brow slightly.

“...the same happened to me you know- not exactly the same...about a year ago now I think- I walked in on Nancy and Jonathan when they were fighting it, the demogorgon,” he explained, you nodded, listening intently, “It was a full grown one too, Nancy and Jonathan lured it into their home to kill and I hadn’t ‘planned to show up” either,” he laughed at the memory, thinking how it was a bit funny now.

You cracked a smile.

“We killed it together...or injured it- whatever...but after that I couldn’t sleep for weeks, if it wasn’t for Nancy I don’t think I would’ve slept well at night at all,”

You looked down.

“How did she help you?”

He shrugged, looking sad for a moment, “She helped me forget because I loved her so much, everytime I looked at her it reminded me of how much I’ve changed and how much the experience had brought us together...I guess she didn’t feel the same way though,” he shrugged.

You leaned forward, resting your hand over his. His eyes flickered back up to yours.

“Well...you honestly helped me out…” you said, Steve furrowed his eyebrows slightly, “I don’t know...I just- when everything happened and I saw you there protecting the kids, especially fighting Billy- it made me think that there actually are good people out there ya’ know? People who aren’t selfish, who’s first instinct is to help others and is really caring, like if there’s something that evil lurking out there, there’s someone who isn’t afraid to fight it...” you felt your cheeks heating up, “Oh god that was too far huh?” you asked, letting out a shaky laugh.

Steve chuckled, holding your hand back.

“No- no not really (y/n),” he responded. He moved his other hand, now holding your one hand with both of his. You stared at your hands, feeling how cold his were. You looked back up at Steve, feeling your heart begin to race.

Without giving it much thought, Steve suddenly released your hands and moved out of the booth. You stood there bewildered for a second, wondering where he was going. He moved next to you, causing you to scoot closer to the wall.

“This might be too soon, but-” he licked his lips, “I want to be the person to help you forget, (y/n),”

You stared at him with wide eyes.

“I like you, a lot, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same- I won’t be mad, or anything or ask you to repay me for the hot chocolate,” he joked, looking intently in your eyes.

You searched for something in his eyes, something that was saying he wasn’t sure- that he was only doing this to get over Nancy or something- but you saw and felt nothing but sincere honesty. You let out a shaking breath, scooting closer to him.

Of course, after the incident, you and Steve talked fairly a lot. You had always seen him as someone handsome, as a potential lover, but it seemed that there was always something holding you both back from each other.Like you were both aware of your mutual attraction but never let each other meet in the middle.  You both flirted endlessly with each other, calling him your knight in shining armor, and teasing him like in the line. It all seemed harmless, but you knew that your flirtations always meant something more.

Right now, it was time to meet in the middle, to finally let out your love for him. You knew it was time.

So, you leaned forward, taking his cheeks into both of your hands and planted a kiss on his lips.

The kiss had caught him off guard, that it took him a second or two to kiss you back. Your hands moved down from his cheeks to just below his chin, and his hand found it’s way on your side, resting there.

You moved away, opening your eyes and meeting his sparkling brown ones. A large smile rested on his lips, and one found it’s way to yours too.

“Does that mean you feel the same way?” he asked, eyes wandering over your entire flushed face. You laughed.

“I would think so,” you replied. He let out a sigh, like one of relief or something like the kiss wasn’t enough. He wanted to hear you say it.

You snickered, a silly thought coming to your mind, “It feels like you just took off your helmet to reveal that you’re actually a prince,” you teased, pecking him on the lips.

Steve tilted his head, a smirk on his lips.

“Well- at least when I reveal myself as a prince I won’t have a helmet covering my hair,” he bobbed his head looking up, you scoffed.

“It must of been a big helmet,” you joked, Steve faked a frown and looked at you, before he smiled widely, moving in to kiss you once more, this time pushing more into the booth. You squeaked by surprise as his smooth lips crashed into yours.

As much as you joked about him being your knight in shining armor, you really were so thankful for him being there that night or you really wouldn’t be here right now. And now that you were aware of all the evil things that lurked around, you felt safe being with Steve.

[klanceficatalogue]

What's your opinion on season 4?

Anon: i was wondering if any of you has seen the new season? and if so what did you think? (if you dont want to answer thats okay, i was just curious)

ok a couple of things before you read:

1. this obviously contains s4 spoilers!!

2. everything we say is our personal opinion

3. this is the second time ive had to type this all out bc my phone did something weird and deleted it all the first time.. im still salty 

- Karri

ok lets gO (sorry this took so long to post afgh)

Karri: Ok the first thing to get out of the way is the fact there was no klance at all which sucked ass especially since there was so much interesting development last season which they could have built on. The next thing is to mention is how weird half the characters were, Keith was totally contradicting himself, Shiro was not the smooth leader that he was in the first 2 seasons and as IF Coran would buy some drugs off some rando, hes a cautious quirky dude he would n e v e r. So onto plot and such, I actually quite enjoyed how the story is panning out this season unfortunately it seems they prioritized this over the characters development which sucks but I guess you can’t have everything. Ok something that I was SUPER happy about was episode 2!!!! The scene with Matt’s grave had me in tears and when she and Matt finally reunited it was just the best seeing them so happy. Matt is such an utter sweetheart and I’m lowkey bitter that they aren’t making Lance and him bff’s because that would’ve been amazing (imagine all the puns and first bumps). I’m also really happy about Hunk this season!!! He hit it off really well with Matt and Pidge and I like that even though there’s another genius on board Hunk still fits in really well (if not, better). However, I am VERY VERY upset about Lance this season, he got basically no screentime and the time he did get was mostly for comedy which is great sometimes but just not what we needed right now. On the subject of things that were completely missing,,, wheres that lgbtq+ rep you said we’d be happy about huh Jeremy??? Though it is possible he could have been referring to the transgirl Pidge that was quite heavily implied in episode 2 its still not the solid representation that we wanted. Also I’m all for allur@nce friendship but I really reallY hope it doesn’t go beyond that, another ship I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable with now is Sh@tt because even though they’re (probably) the same age Matt acts like a teenager and idk it just seems a bit weird to me. To finish off I’d just like to say that Keith looked so fucking good this season and that is something to be thankful for. That is all from me I’m so sorry for talking so much asfgsdfgh

Maggie: Alright so I agree with Karri on most if not all of her above opinions so my thoughts are going to be a lot shorter, also im going to use bullet points bc it’s easier on my brain

tbh the only really good episode in my opinion was episode 2 bc i would die for the holt siblings

where tf is my boy lance??

why the FUCK would you think that removing keith from voltron is a good idea????????????

they showed hunk being smart and all which is good but the still were making food jokes so,,,,,,

this heteronormativity needs to Stop

this whole season was super ooc except for maybe hunk and pidge

i can’t believe lotor is pulling A Zuko

i am angery about the shitty (aka nonexistent) character development

stop trying to make lance be all creepy about allura

fight scenes were pretty cool

is it bad that I thought BoM was more interesting than the actual voltron squad this season? it might just be bc im highkey in love with keith tho lmao

overall the season was pretty mediocre and half-assed

Vallie: I can’t remember anything. Apparently I wrote down some thoughts somewhere after and the rest is just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I loved the Holt sibling interactions. Pidge running around the castle with Matt and Matt just being like :o made me so happy. And Pidge wears Matt’s glasses?? Dude do you even need glasses? That’s not how glasses work? right? (or maybe I missed it idk). Another detail in their relationship, that gave me shivers, was “Pidge” as a nickname. At first she didn’t even want Matt to call her that, but made it her identity after he disappeared.

I’m kinda wondering about their dad though. The trailers showed Matt was alive, so during the graveyard scene I was just like “hoo boy hoo boy hoo boy mmmmkay so who’s is it??” and convinced myself their dad was buried there, but it wasn’t him? I know it’s a minor detail, but I wanna know what happened to him.

Overall, I had some trouble seeing the overal plot that connected the eps. Disclaimer: I watched this at 4am *cough* karri *cough* (

Maybe the season split could also explain why there was less lance or keith screen time. There was so much in the first part/ s3 that they maybe tried to pull the other characters even in the second part of the season/ s4.

While watching, I thought the writers send keith away so shiro could pilot the black lion, bc as coran put it “he’s the favourite character”. Afterwards I saw some theories, and I agree that Keith leaving voltron would make perfect sense with his vlog (poor bb). I do think it would have been wicked to see what kind of training Keith did at BoM, but maybe we’ll get that next season :)

[doyouevenshipbr0]

Forever

author's note :hello everyone! ik its been a loooonnnng time since ive written anything but… as u all know… fairy tail is over. my overall rating of the ending is a 6/10. i expected more but at the same time, a lot of it makes sense. in terms of gruvia, i do believe they are a canon couple. BUT, we saw no answer?! the answer that has been hyped up for almost 100 chapters im p sure?! and an “apology” that gray was gonna give juvia?! we never got that either which is suuuuper annoying lmao. but i do believe an answer happened. my hope is that one of these days later on in life mashima releases an omake dedicated to gray’s answer, but, until then, ill have this lmao. i tried to make this as realistic and as little ooc as possible. bc as seen in the last chap, while he is much more open towards juvia, gray is still a grump little tsun. and juvia is still a cutsie doting wifey. SO without further ado, here’s my take on gray’s answer.

-

For the first time in a very long time, Fairy Tail was at ease. Anyone or anything that was a threat to the world had been defeated. Things were possibly even considered “peaceful” for once. Just the thought of “peace” seemed like a foreign idea, a distant memory that was long gone from everyone’s mind for a long time, but finally, the war was over, and everything was back to normal.

Well, maybe not quite.

While calmness finally seemed to reign over the world, the city of Magnolia, like most of the rest if the country, was in shambles.

Some cities were practically turned to dust, others had some fractions of buildings left, some were completely obliterated and almost unrecognizable to the former townspeople who once called that place their home.

Most of Magnolia, including Fairy Tail itself, still stood proudly.

After all this town/guild’s been through, it was apparent that it was a fighter. Even after a whole war, it still remained in one piece. (Barely).

The first thing everyone did was get to work on repairing the town and the guild. While the guild itself didn’t look too bad, there was still much work that needed to be done.

Just a few days later things were looking much better than before, with the help of everyone from the guild.

Gray however, did not have the guild as his number one priority. Sure, he was putting his heart and soul into fixing the place he loved, the place he and his friends called their home.

But there was just something on his mind that kept bugging him. As if he had unfinished business to attend to.

And every time his eyes landed on Juvia, he was reminded just what that little something in his head was. He promised her an answer, right before the war began. Now that the war was over, he just didn’t know exactly what to do. Hell, he was so stuck he hadn’t even talked to her for the past couple days. As much as he hated to admit it, he was avoiding her.

While Gray was a stubborn man, he wasn’t a stupid one. Especially after this war he knew where is head was at and what Juvia meant to him, but he didn’t know how to put his jumbled thoughts into words.

As he caught himself staring at Juvia as she painted the walls for, well, he didn’t even know how long, he decided to take a break hammering the floor for a second.

“I’m gonna go get some air” He said to Laxus who was hammering with him.

“Sure, Fullbuster. But don’t take all day. We got a lot more work to do.” He harshly reminded Gray as he turned around and began to walk out.

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved his hand and continued for the door, well, where the new door would be going.

As Gray away from the guild, he saw a certain place stick out to him. It was the balcony he and Juvia had their last real conversation. Where he promised her an answer.

But honestly, Gray didn’t know what the answer was. He didn’t even know where to start! How could he put his feelings, his emotions into an “answer”? What would he say? Where would he do it? When? How would he even start the damn conversation?!

“Gray-sama?”

All of his questions came to a screeching halt, and any minuscule scraps of a “plan” he had came crashing down.

He jolted up from the edge he’d been leaning on and quickly turned his body around to face Juvia. Just the very sight of her drained everything from his mind. He just looked at her so–so differently now. He saw her in a completely different light yet it seemed so right? And maybe even familiar? As if a part of him had seen her like this all along. It was all so strange but so familiar. He didn’t know what to make of it, or even what to say.

“J-Juvia!? What’re you doing here?”

“Juvia did not mean to frighten you! But–” She stopped and looked to the ground while fiddling with her fingers in her hands. “I saw you leave, so Juvia followed you.” She said more timidly.

“Well, I just came out to get some air. We should head back.” Gray avoided eye contact with Juvia and began to walk back to the guild.

“Oh. O-ok.” Juvia said even quieter, and much sadder.

His mind was practically screaming at him: “What are you doing you idiot!? Now’s your chance! Talk to her!” But his mouth remained shut and his legs kept walking past her.

Maybe he was a stupid man after all.

“No.” He thought to himself.

He planted his feet before he let himself walk too far away from her. Before he let this chance slip away. Because if anyone knew that life was too short, it was Gray. The world could be a cruel place. He might’ve never gotten the chance to speak to Juvia again for all he knew. Juvia could get taken from him all over again, and he would look back at this moment and hate himself for never getting to say what he wanted to say. He was not going to ignore this feeling anymore, because he might never get the chance to express it again.

“Juvia, I wanna’ say something.” He said, sure of himself. But as soon as Juvia looked up at him with those adorable big eyes that were glistening with slightly welled up tears, he lost it all over again. Just why did she have to look at him like that?!

“Yes, Gray-sama?” She asked, more curious than sad, now.

“Well- I- uh–” He looked around and itched the back of his head.

As he stuttered out somer more gibberish, his eyes met Juvia’s again. This time though, her gaze put him at ease. As her head tilted, the azure waves of her hair slightly fell and parted perfectly, just like always. Her slightly puckered and parted lips along with her hooded doe eyes beckoned him. He felt as though his eyes could get lost in the ocean that were hers, and, did she always have such long eyelashes?

“Do you remember before the war? When I–” He paused. The words just were falling out of his mouth, even though he tried his very best to make sense of it all in his head. “–promised you my answer?”

“Oh of course! How could Juvia forget!” She lit up instantly and a natural smile spread across her face. Gray always loved that about her– how the littlest things could always put her in a better mood and make her happy again. As if she wasn’t feeling the opposite just a second ago.

“Well, to be honest,�� Gray strolled back over to the ledge and rested his elbows back on the ledge. “I kind of can’t stop thinking about it”

“Oh?” Juvia hastily followed him to the ledge. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding Juvia?”

“Yeah.” He admitted. He turned his head to Juvia. “I’m surprised you haven’t come up to me before today, actually.”

“Juvia figured Gray-sama would talk to Juvia when the time was right. But, it had been days since you’ve even stood in the same room as me. So Juvia decided to come talk to Gray-sama.” She said simply. She then leaned her body over the ledge and placed her elbows on it, just as Gray was.

“I see.” Gray looked back out onto Magnolia.

Before anything else was said, Juvia scooted over and rested her head on Gray’s shoulder. It startled him a bit at first, since Gray was never the touchy-feely type, but he didn’t say anything. He just looked down at Juvia, saw her peaceful smile and closed eyes, and looked back out.

“Juvia’s thankful that you’ve been by her side.” Gray eyes widened a bit, and he looked back down at Juvia, listening to her. “Through it all, you’ve always been there with me, Gray-sama. I’m very grateful to have you.” Gray remembered words very similar to those when he said them a little while ago, in that very same place, right before the war.

“Hm.” He hummed. “Suddenly I have a weird case of Deja Vu.” He huffed a small chuckle.

She lifted her head from his shoulder. “Juvia said those words over and over and over again during the war. It’s what kept me alive, really. It was my spirit. Knowing that Juvia was a help to you, knowing you were grateful for Juvia, knowing Juvia would get an answer after the war was over. It all contributed to my fight. That was my reason for fighting. So that Juvia could remain at your side, helping you, Gray-sama. And then when Juvia took her life for you. And why Juvia did that blood transfusion–” Chills were sent down Gray’s spine as a look of disgust was put on his face. He hated thinking about that day. How he thought he lost her. It was complete agony. “– it was all because I love you.” She looked over and smiled sweetly at him.

“And Gray-sama has been there just the same for Juvia. So, thank you.” Juvia leaned over and placed a cheek on Gray’s cheek.

Gray felt his face warm up, and he knew he was blushing. He looked back out in front of him, slightly embarrassed.

“Well, you don’t have to thank me for something like that” Gray stood up from the ledge, and turned to Juvia, looking at her. “Because I will always be by your side.”

Juvia looked up from the ledge with wide eyes and blushed cheeks. “And I mean that, Juvia.” Gray continued. “I will always be there when you need me and when you’re in any type of danger, or just if you need someone to talk to, even. For whatever you need.”

“Gray-sama…” Juvia said, almost like she was in a daze.

“And- and when you did that blood transfusion, and I thought I lost you… I– I can’t let that happen again. And I’m sorry you had to ever put yourself in that kind of danger for me. So I will be by your side. I will protect you so you’ll never have to do something like that again.” Gray was more serious than ever. Something as precious as Juvia’s life meant so much to him.

“I said I was gonna’ take your feelings seriously, and I mean it. No more uncertainties, no more waiting for answers.” Grays mind was going a mile a minute, and everything seemed to be flowing out of his brain and onto his tongue perfectly. “This is it. Just you and me.” He paused for a moment. “Forever.” He blurted. He was really blushing now.

Juvia stood up straight, across from Gray. “Forever?” She repeated.

“Yeah. Forever.” Gray confirmed with complete certainty and seriousness on his face.

A huge smile took up Juvia’s whole face. “Oh, Gray-sama!” She squealed as she held arms up into their and jumped into his, wrapping her arms tightly around Gray’s neck.

Gray paused for a moment and staggered back, but a smile eventually snuck its way onto Gray’s face as well, and he reciprocated the hug. Juvia continued to squeal and it made Gray chuckle as he wrapped a second arm around her.

“Alright, Juvia you’re kind of choking me.” Gray murmured out as Juvia’s arms slowly got tighter.

“Juvia is just so happy!” She loosened her grip and pulled away slightly to face Gray.

“I can see that.” Gray smirked.

“Well isn’t Gray-sama happy too?” Juvia asked.

Gray paused for a bit. He took a moment to look down at the woman in his arms. It was the woman he’d risked his life for time and time again, the woman who showered him with unconditional love that Gray never knew that he needed, the woman who drove him crazy, the woman who could be so thick at times, but was so clever and smart and knew him better than anyone else, the woman who would do absolutely anything for him, the woman he cared about more than anyone. And he was sure.

“Yeah.” He smiled. “I am.”

Juvia matched his smile with an even bigger one. She fully broke free from his arms and placed her hands on his cheeks as she pulled him in for a much awaited kiss.

Gray was shocked for a good few seconds and wasn’t sure what to do until he finally rested his hands on the small of Juvia’s back and fell into the sweet kiss of the woman that Gray would call his.

Forever.

-

Thank you, Hiro Mashima, for bringing this beautiful couple into my life. And thank you for the adventure.

[mysticdaddies]

This is just a thought but it would be a great oneshot or reaction or something. What if Jumin had to put down Elizabeth 3rd because she got sick (I cried when I thought about this I want to know how you feel about this)

This legit triggered me so much because I love my dog so much that I spent a week crying thinking about that one day I need to say goodbye…. well here we go T_T WARNING: This may be OOC because I know Jumin just sees Elizabeth as a cat after he puts his emotional stability on MC but whatever just enjoy (Jumin POV) (for my animal lovers please listen to this fucking song so we can die together ) * ill let y'all know when to play the song* 

Ugh. Each and every single day I recieve more and more paperwork. No matter how many hours I put into my job, I will always need more. I picked up the 649 page proposal that Assistant Kang left on my desk so I can look over it. I gave a deep sigh knowing I was going to be late going home again. Well there is nothing I can do. I must do what I can so I can support my family.

I was already on page 443 before I heard a knock on the door. I perked my head up “Who is it? Im busy. It better be important for it to demand my attention” I scowled.  The door slowly opened and Assistant Kang popped her head out. I motioned for her to come in “What is it Assistant Kang? Do I need to over look more papers? If so, just leave it on that chair” I sighed pointing at the chair with four piles of paperwork. She walked closer to me and cleared her through “Have you checked your phone Mr. Han? (Y/N) just called the office” she said with a bit of shakiness in her voice. I reached into my pocket to see that my phone was left on silent. I put the volume on high and I was shock to see I had 23 missed calls from (y/n), 12 missed called from Yoosung, and 3 missed calls from Saeyoung. Hmm. I was getting ready to go through my voice mail to see what the fuss was about before Assistant Kang interrupted my thoughts “Mr. Han you need to leave. Now.” she commanded. I gave her a puzzled look but then my wife barged into my office screaming. She panted and caught her breath “Jumin, Elizabeth is dying!” she shouted. My heart stopped and I got up and ran to my wife “What did you say!” I shouted back. My wife looked me into my eyes and I notice she had tear stains on her cheek. She grabbed my hand and dragged me outside to where Saeyoung was. She pushed me inside and Saeyoung drove to the speed of light to Yoosungs hospital. 

I ran helplessly through the hospital doors and went to the second floor. I noticed Yoosung outside of room 8 looking down at his clipboard. I ran to him and kneeled down in front of “What happened! I thought removing the tumor would guarantee Elizabeth 3rd life! What the fuck did you do! What did you do to my Elizabeth” I screeched while I shook his shoulders. He looked into my eyes and then pull me in for a hug “Im sorry Jumin okay I’m sorry! I warned you that with her age she might not make a full recovery. It’s even a miracle that she’s been alive for this long. She’s been bleeding internally and she doesn’t want to let go yet. She’s waiting for you Jumin. Im sorry… but its time..” he whimpered. I got up from the floor and started to pull on my hair trying to focus on a different pain “IM NOT READY FUCK IM NOT!! HOW CAN I SAY GOODBYE TO SOMEONE WHO SAVED ME HUH!! HOW CAN I LET HER DIE WHEN SHE HELPED ME LIVE!”I shouted while kicking a nearby trashcan. I couldn’t breath and I just fell on the floor screaming Elizabeths name. My wife and Saeyoung helped me back up to my feet and they gave me a drink of water. I breathed in heavily and then went to Yoosung to take me to Elizabeth. I told my wife and Saeyoung that I want to say goodbye by myself and they respected my wishes. 

I entered the little room and I heard painful meows coming from my sweet Elizabeth. It hurt like hell seeing her in agony. I am her owner and I will forever be her owner. I am the one that holds the power to ease her from pain. However, it meant that I must go through life without having Elizabeth 3rd greeting me at the door. I breathed in heavily and nodded at Yoosung so he can get everything ready. I signed my heart away and the assistants and Yoosung were gracious enough to give me one last time alone with her. I got the nearest chair and I sat down right by her side.  *play the song so we both can die*

I took her paw into my hand and I already felt my tears escaping my eyes “I knew this day would eventually come but I always hoped it would be many years from now. I remember the first time I settled you into my home. I was a bit distant with you because I didnt know how to take care of a cat. So I just bought you high end pet food and hoped for the best. You were really patient with me because it did took me a while to know how to properly raise you. Its funny to say but we sure did get into many fights but at the end of the day I couldn’t get mad at you. You were always there meowing happily when I got home. It felt nice having someone excited to see me. You know something my sweet Elizabeth, I really cherish the time we had together. I just wished I could of spent so many more hours with you. I wish I could repay you for everything that you have done for me. You gave me a feeling of having a home and you always listened to me when I rabbled on so many idiotic nonsense. You gave me a chance to learn to express my emotions. You were there when my own blood wasn’t. It just kills me that I need to say goodbye to you Elizabeth. You are my hardest goodbye because I know people see you as a cat, but I saw you as my child. You brought life to my dull life. It kills me seeing you in pain Elizabeth. You don’t deserve to leave this world like this but just know ill be here till your last breath. I know life will be hard without having someone to welcome me home but you can let go now Elizabeth. Im ready to do this on my own and I’m going to miss you so much. I love you so much Elizabeth. You can let go now” I whispered. I leaned down and kissed her paw gently. I got up and hugged her and I notice she raised her head gently and licked some of my tears away. She purred and she laid her back down. I continue holding her paw till I noticed she stopped breathing. More tears were falling down my face and it was so hard to breathe. 

Wait for me at the rainbow bridge Elizabeth 3rd. 

I’ll be there to find you soon. 

Have fun with V. 

[tyrantofthefirmament]

ooc, please. why do you continue to bring up Cliffjumper if you know it hurts people. i understand Starscream doesn't care. i'd wanted to *make* him care, at least a little bit, or make him understand why it shouldn't be something to brag about, but i failed, even though i've seen other anons get him upset about things using the same tactics. i'm upset and i guess i want/ed him to be too. but i can't help but feel like you don't particularly care either...

I bring up Cliffjumper because it is in character to do so, and frankly, because it’s funny. I’m assuming you’re referring to the post with the glowing blue nails and my little addition? I’m not sorry.

Let’s address your points one by one. No one will ever make Starscream care about what he did to Cliffjumper. One day he’ll probably grow bored of bragging about it, and more importantly, he’ll have other accomplishments that he’ll gain more satisfaction from, and that others will validate. But for the time being, yes, he does find it worth bragging about, because it was the last thing he did while he still had some measure of control in his life, when he led the Decepticons right before Megatron returned and undermined him as both a leader and a person once more. Is that healthy? Nnnnnnope! It’s a maladaptive coping mechanism, such as when people become compulsive hoarders after a severe loss. It’s grasping to hold onto a feeling of power or control. Yes it’s messed up. Don’t know if you noticed, but Starscream is pretty darn messed up. He does a lot of bad things and feels no remorse. He can justify nearly anything to himself, and firmly believes the ends justify whatever underhanded means he feels he must resort to.

The other anons who have upset him have brought up things he is already upset over but usually pushes deep down and doesn’t think about, like the loss of his Trine and Vos, or his broken friendship with Jetfire. Trying to get him to feel bad over something he is ok with, and especially something he’s proud of, won’t work. Getting him to sympathize with another person’s loss by comparing it to his own is a total dead end. First, he does understand how Arcee feels and thinks she’s ridiculous to be so open about it. In his world, that’s asking for people to hurt you worse. He never once spoke of any his unfathomable losses the entire time he was in the Decepticons, because he’d be eaten alive. Does he care how she feels? No, he doesn’t. People hurt each other. Enemies have no reason not to. That’s war. That’s how you win and survive. Second, as he explained when you brought up his Trine, he knows other people find the deaths of their enemies - his friends - quite satisfying, and all that does is hand him the moral high ground about Autobot hypocrisy. He’s slippery and manipulative, and will absolutely use that to deflect criticism from his own lack of remorse. Third, he’s extremely self centered and likes to wallow in self pity, and firmly (and frankly, rightly) believes other people’s losses are nothing compared to what he’s suffered. Does that mean he has the right to be an asshole about it? Of course not. He should at least find some speck of compassion even if the scale of the loss is different, but he’s not going to, because he’s a self centered asshole. 

And as for me? No, I don’t particularly care about Cliffjumper or what happened to him. Sorry, I just don’t. The writers never gave me a reason to, besides telling me how I was supposed to feel. He was literally a red shirt who died to show how serious the bad guys were. I was much more excited to see a villain who didn’t waste time arguing or holding a prisoner who would be rescued, but instead took him out and moved on with his business than I was sad over some random character who I found cocky and annoying the whole five minutes he was in the show. I did feel bad for Arcee, at first, before she kept going on and on and on and on about him just as annoyingly as Starscream, but I didn’t feel bad for Cliffjumper himself. I didn’t come to care about him as a character or want to see more from him. Later, when I played Fall of Cybertron, and actually got to know CJ, I did feel kind of sad that he was killed, but not nearly as sad as I was over Breakdown, or even Dreadwing. I was slightly more sad about Cliffjumper than I was about Skyquake, which is not much. At all. Because neither of those characters was developed enough for me to see them as more than the plot devices they were. If writers tell me how to feel but don’t take the time to really sell it by showing me something about the character, I’m pretty much gonna do the opposite of what they tell me.

I do know CJ’s death hurts people, I know Starscream bragging about it hurts people, and I do care about that because I care about people. But if you follow a TFP Starscream blog that’s what you’re gonna get. No one’s forcing you or anyone else to follow me. You think I don’t know the bad treatment of a character hurts people? I love Starscream, so don’t talk to me about hurting. I’ve cried over him and lost sleep over him, and sat side by side with people who were laughing at the scenes with him that broke my heart because he was so scared and helpless and humiliated, all for laughs. I’ve had nightmares about him after I saw Predacons Rising and woken up crying. I’ve blocked more posts and blacklisted more tags than I care to count. I have unfollowed 2 blogs - one Shockwave and one Predaking - because of how casually and graphically their characters discussed murdering Starscream and I couldn’t handle it. Key word - I couldn’t handle it. So I unfollowed in order to keep myself comfortable. Did I expect them to change how they played their characters? No. It’s their blogs and they were just acting in character. It was damn good writing, as is mine. 

I’m considerate of Cliffjumper fans, and I never put his name in the tags on my posts in the first 5 tags, so Starscream’s obnoxious bragging won’t show up in the Cliffjumper tag. I tag my CJ related posts “we all know what happens to redshirts”. If that’s too long or too flippant, I can add a tag for you that you can block. If what I was writing in character upset you, you could have mentioned it to me out of character and asked me to tag it. But you sent in character asks and I responded in character. You weren’t able to manipulate Starscream into feeling a certain way in order to give you some comfort, because it’s not his job to comfort you, and frankly I had no way of knowing you were actually bothered. I will always tag things when asked over IM or even an anon ask. Beyond that, I’m not changing how I run things and I make no apologies, for me or my asshole birb.

[yeahwesaidthat]

TWWS: Info Dump

Yes, I know, it’s been ages, hence the quote dump. Also, some new stuff/updates:

I was flipping through my old D&D stuff and it turns out one of my favourite quotes is incorrect (I’d suspected as much for some time). So that’s been fixed in this one.

The next update is going to be a “best of D&D.” I want to try and set up a voting system so people can vote for their favourites and then narrow them all down to The Ultimate Quote. 

Certain quotes have links on them for reference. Hopefully they show up well enough.

Some lines in quotes are reactions/facial expressions. Fun with emoticons!

TWWS now has awards! See below:

TWWS MVP AWARD:

This entry’s MVP award goes to MR for his constant D&D witticisms! Congratulations, M!

Each entry will feature a new MVP. The choosing is based on quote quality and/or frequency. In M’s case, it’s both. People can be MVPs more than once, but not two entries in a row.

Anyway, on with the show!

Overheard at Random

Book recommendation: KCB: "Mafia elves." KH: "...SOLD!"

Deciding what to get for dinner: SB: "Why would you want a whole pizza?" KH: "Why wouldn’t I want a whole pizza?" E: "I have to agree with her logic."

About a few rounds of Magic: SB: "I won!" E: "Revisionist history - you lost the first game." KC and KH: "Alternative facts."

A Slack conversation about the time of day: A: "You started drinking already?" S: "Who says I stopped?"

About pork rolls: SW: "That stuff that makes [state] bearable to live in."

Ordering lunch: American AP: "If you double-down on pork, no one will judge you." KH: "Says the Jewish man." American AP: "Think of it as eating my portion."

Overheard at Work

KH: "Where is your Christmas cheer?" S: "Right next to my menorah."

Cash Register Gift Bag Listing: "Xmas Menorah"

About covering injuries: L: "Do you want a finger condom?" KH: (doubles over laughing) L: "This is a serious fucking question, KH, do you want one or not?"

Leaving work: S: "I parked in Fucking Yonderville." Coworker: "How's the real estate there? Is it a good school district?" S: "No."

Unearthed Arcana: Overheard During 4e D&D

QUOTE CORRECTION: Making sure it's really dead: SB: "You kick the head and it goes sailing through the open door of the tomb. You hear a voice in the darkness go ’Gooooooooal!’”

Player: "There's no 'I' in 'team' but there's a 'we' in 'weapon.'"

Location, location, location: Player: "We're not in Shadowfell, we're in 'rainbow-and-happy-things-fell.' We're in Candyland."

Tavern woes: (Player or DM?): "When I say 'microbrew' I mean I charge you double and give you less beer."

Pluralisation issues: Probably KH: "Wouldn't it be orifi [instead of orifices]?"

Going overboard with the somatic component: (Player or DM?): "The Arcane Macarena."

Almost certainly about a holy sword: (Player or DM?): "She's swinging around a flashlight for Jesus."

No idea what it's from, but I think I'll use it as a slogan: Player: "I am the terror that quacks in the night."

Fourth Ed Goodberry equivalent...I hope: (Player or DM?): "You're up, you're alive, somebody shoved nuts in your mouth..."

Probably dealing with a were-rat: Almost certainly RJ: "Regener-rat!"

So I had this drake mount named Pork Chop...: Probably SB: "That's Pork Chop class damage." Almost certainly RJ: "Pork 'im!"

Overheard During D&D

ST: "Is the door with the spiders behind it unlocked?" KH: "Don’t."

After a familiar was poofed: AD: "I miss [familiar]." CD: "It's been two minutes." AD: "Whatever. I can miss who I want."

Beautiful references (read in Rorschach's voice): AA: "I'm not grappled with you," ST, AA, and KH: "You’re grappled with me!"

About remaining spells: KH: "I have three 1st-level slots and one 2nd-level slot." CD: "Those are 'keeping people alive' slots."

We went a little overboard on this guy: CD: "Are there any potions on Mr. Headless and Heartless?" AD: "That sounds like an emo band."

To the resident carnivorous warrior: ST: "I'm telling you, that heart is full of black evil. Don't eat it."

About being stranded: CD: "She left us on an island like Johnny Depp in the first Pirates movie." ST: "And we didn't have turtles or rum."

High-rollers: CD: "Twenty-four. Critty-four."

Trying to get up a ladderless shaft (can you dig it?): JB: "We could throw her up." ST: "We'd have to swallow her first."

Desperate tactics: KH: "Can a t-rex punch through a wall?"

About a couatl: AD: "I will draw it like one of my French girls."

About a guard boss encounter: CD: "So undead Mr. Cyclops was sitting here twiddling his undead thumbs?"

About doors marked with runes: AD: "'Cause if they say 'do not open'..." KH: "Then we're totally gonna open them." AD: "Well, you guys are going to open them..."

NPC interrogation: CD (IC): "So you are a powerful druid." JI (IC): "I am a moderately powerful druid."

About the location of a magic tattoo: AD: "Are you like a Care Bear but out of your butt?"

About canopic jars in the cyclops mummy's sanctum: ST: "Here's another jar of mummified nope."

About a loudly roaring creature: JI: "And he asks you to roll initiative as politely as he can."

About our situation: MR: "We made a very poor combat choice." RD: "What do you mean 'we'?" MR: "I made a bad combat choice." KC: "What is this 'we,' Pocahontas?"

The pervy paladin strikes again: SW (IC): "What took you so long?" A (IC): "I had something to take care of." (winks) SW (IC): "You know what? I'm sorry I asked."

Better without context: MGW: "When you're that big, you can explode as much as you want."

Adventures with the Polymorph spell: AS: "What's the AC [armor class] of a puppy?"

Horrific and chaotic evil regarding aforementioned puppy (which, to be fair, was originally a fire giant): AS (IC): "Don't worry, we can find a bag of holding and a river." MR (IC): "...There is a line, [character]." (gestures one way) "There is the line," (gestures way past it) "there is you."

Be careful who's listening: KH: "She's the pervy character; she scares everybody." (notices preteen with shocked expression) "You didn't hear any of that."

About the pervy paladin having a "moral" conversation: KH: "She's 'good cop'ping him instead of copping a feel?" SW: "She's good copping him instead of getting a good cop. There you go."

Continued fun with Polymorph: MR: "It's like discus, but with a puppy. Please don't put that on That's What We Said." KH: "Too late."

Storm King's Thunder: A Summary: MR: "This is Game of Thrones on a giant scale." Entire Table: (grooooooan)

Dealing with extra-limbed gorillas: ST: "Uh-oh! They must have been forewarned!" AD: "What makes you say that?" ST: "Forewarned is four-armed." AD: -_-

Negotiation skills: AD: "It's just me trying to bullshit him." JI: "Why don't you make a bullshit check?"

Difficult terrain: JI: "You get disadvantage from monkeys throwing poo at you."

Improvised weaponry: AD: "Ten whacking damage."

Trying to figure out if the staff is necromantic: CD: "We could kill a mouse in front of the staff. We could kill a mouse with the staff. How much is it to buy a mouse?"

When ideas are crazier than normal (which is already pretty crazy): AD: "What is wrong with you? I'm not even sure I mean [your character]."

SW: "Ok, I have a list of 'don't ask any questions.'"

Planning for the next campaign: MR: "Should I play a guy who puts the 'romance' back in 'necromancy'..."

About handing over a weapon: JB (IC): "I don't give my bone to anyone."

JB: "Anyone die while I was gone?" SW: "Not on the outside."

Tactical thinking: MR: "We may need to light his mansion on fire to cover our tracks."

Wizarding limits: JS: "You may not polymorph your zombies into t-rexes."

KH: "And the moral of the story is don't screw with powers you don't understand." BC: "Shh. Don't ever tell that to a wizard."

J: "Crown of Madness will help, right?" BC: "I don't think that's needed with this group."

JS: "You find several humanoids with missing brains." JS2: (nervous noise) BC: "Don't worry; they're not a threat to you."

Cannon fodder: KH: "You outfitted your zombies with red shirts, right?" BC: "They were born with red shirts."

BC: "Everything is a toy if you try hard enough." KH: "...I heard that wrong." BC: "No, you got it."

About the distance of a planar pilgrimage: CD: "That would be like walking to Europe." J: "If Europe was also on Mars."

Subtle Star Wars mid-inanity: KH: "I don't wanna fly; I wanna stealth." J: "Stealth fly." JS: "You can't stealth fly!" KH: "How do you stealth fly?" JI: "Fly casual."

Zombies aren't too smart: BC (IC): "Bobs, attack the closest gnoll!" Bobs: (run at gnoll party member) KH (OOC): "Et tu, Bob?" JS (OOC): "If this doesn't belong in your blog, I dunno what does."

Far too relatable: JS: "Twenty psychic damage." BC: "I've taken more psychic damage from my mother."

Asking planar creatures for advice: BC (IC): "Is the [creature] going to kill all of us if we investigate it?" JI (OOC): "He's the GM - of course it's going to say yes."

When the tiefling (part-demon) hears Celestial: KH (IC): "Does anyone speak the twinkly bell language?"

Worst-laid plans: KH (IC): "I have a very bad feeling about this." MR (IC): "You should."

Acronym fun with a magic item: JB: "AT&T: Advanced Telecommunications and Teleporting."

Obligatory quote/joke/meme for the elf ranger: KH: "Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?" JB: "I see people shipping me with Gimli."

Questionable on-deck combat tactics: MR: "Are you gonna keel-haul him manually?"

The proper response to the enemy when landing in said enemy's ambush: MR (IC): "You'll die for our insolence!"

Alignment debate: MR: "He wasn't evil; he was just a dick."

Verbally dueling with a sea god: MR: "I basically just told Cthulu to shut up and go home."

When one fails to specify: AS: "She's got a really low [armor class] 'cause she's fat and slow." A: o.O? AS: "No, not you."

Our go-to combat tactic: MR: "Are we going to stupid the guy to death?"

Zing!: MGW (IC): "If you join me, I can make you the greatest dwarf who ever lived." L (IC): "I am the greatest dwarf who ever lived." Whole Table (OOC): "Ooooohhhhh!!!"

Another verbal duel with a sea god/character class limitations: KH: "I would say 'what is a god to a nonbeliever,' but I'm a cleric."

In a room of tempting levers and switches and shit: JI (IC): "Don't touch nothing." BC (IC): "Don't get between me and my touching."

Activating the mysterious device: BC (IC): "We did it! I wonder what we did?"

Creative swearing: JS (IC): "By Baphomet's giant bull cock!"

Alternative to "cheese" during a picture take: JS: "Everyone say 'Jesus Christ, thank God I'm alive!'" We all said it with big picture smiles.

Ultimate cringe: KH: "My mom doesn't have a nerd bone in her body." MR: "She met your dad..."

Business as usual: KH: "This seems like a bad idea, but go ahead."

Bone club + bags of loot = asking for trouble: JB: "I hang the sacks off my bone."

The loot bags again: JB: "I thought I saw it fly out of my sack." MR: "You should have a healer look at that."

Overheard During A Crazy-Ass Night of D&D

Obligatory bone club jokes start now: SW (IC): "Cover your eyes! He's whipping out his sword!" JB (IC): "It's nothing compared to my bone!"

Again with the damn club: RD: "Do you want to bone it, my friend?" JB: "I want to bone it."

JB: "The bone jokes aren't as humerus anymore." KH: (cringes, reaches for notebook)

Old adages: MR: "No plan survives contact with the enemy." (IC) "But then, no enemy has survived contact with us!" (OOC) "Was that quote-worthy?" KH: "Yes."

About DR's long-ago description of the Spirit Guardians spell: MR: "Don't use your holy fuck-off field just yet." KH: "...Did you steal that from the blog?"

Ready check: MR: "Ready? ...Ready?" KH: (Mel Brooks movie quote voice) "WAIT FOR IT!"

KC: "She can ride me. I don't care." KH: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KC: "...I'M A BEAR IN ARMOR."

SW: "Aim for the throat!" JB: "Don't tempt me."

The previous quote foretold this: JB: "He's gonna feel my bone down his throat."

About height differences: KH: "Are you gonna bone him in the groin?"

About collecting giant heads for bounties: SW: "They pay the bills." AS: "Kills to pay the bills."

Misusing a letter-changing magic item: SW: "Can you use the Book of Wit to make him cast Mild Magic?"

Advantageous druidic inanity: KC: "Are you still riding the flying bear?" MR: "It's flying now?" KC: "Yeah, he flew up to unlock the door." AS: "...So he's a flying bear with armor..."

About aforementioned druid: AS: "Here, I'll ride you now."

That damned club yet again: AS: "He can smash the Vonindod!" SW: "More like the Bone-indod."

I give up: JB: "...And I wanna bone the hell out of it."

About a high strength score: KC: "Is your athletics 'yes'?" JB: "My athletics is 'yes'!"

Spell modifications for humourous purposes: MR: "Using a Dex[terity] save for Zone of Truth means they're literally dodging the question."

Tactics 101: Use Your Surroundings: SW: "Why properly kill giants when we can have their own castle do it?"

Magical battle broadcast: SW: "Should we set up the planar TVs, guys?"

About the god of storms approving the storm cleric's actions: JB: "He's like, 'yes, I approve. Thunderous applause!'"

About the war cleric and flying bear: JB: "If they're riding each other in the air, are they part of the mile high club?"

As is per usual: MR: "We may have once again survived this by the skin of bullshit."

The only proper reaction when large objects swing: in this case, a gargantuan golem head: KH: "I came in like a Voooooonindooooooood!"

About 5e drow society: MR: "It's now more of an egalitarian dickbaggery."

When web-casting spiders give gifts: KC: "See? I even gift-wrapped him for you."