#((Hopefully i got everybody))
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#poll#star trek#i haven't seen all the shows#hopefully i got everybody#apparently discovery has gone through a few captains
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My page for @kairizine. It was such a huge honor to be part of this wonderful book with everyone, I had so much fun!
[id in alt!]
#kingdom hearts#kh#kh kairi#kh xion#kh namine#i don't really feel proud of my own stuff usually but#i really think this is the drawing i'm most proud of from this past year!! it made me think 'oh maybe i can draw' haha#i'm still kinda bad with colors but something clicked with this one. and i feel like i got the sentimental feeling i wanted!#ooh but this project's about flower symbolism so ramble incoming:#protea symbolizes resilience transformation and diversity; hollyhock means 'please remember me.'#so my general theme was finding a sense of self.#these 3 have struggled with finding their own identity; they tend to get left behind both in-universe and in general plotwise#and naminé and xion both resemble kairi and were overshadowed by her memory. but i feel like all 3 have transformed into their own people#xion and naminé have their faces covered partially by hollyhock to show their wish to be remembered for who they are-#instead of the parts that they share with someone else#and the protea bouquets show how they each held on and resiliently grew into their own person despite it all#i put a little swervy path on the hill behind kairi to give that hopeful sense of growth and moving forward. it's a little hard to see#hopefully that makes sense! i really love symbolism but i think in visuals so i'm really bad with words#but gosh working with everyone on this project was so fun. it was like impossible not to get swept up by the team's hype for this zine#i need to hunt down everybody's work and rb it#ohh and everybody's flowers are so crisply drawn it's insane!! i think if i lined all these flowers and leaves i'd die haha#fan art#my art#project stuff
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Our power is back on!!!!!😭💖💖🌟🌟
#it was out for 10 days 😭😭😭😭😭#it was caused by hurricane helene that hit the carolinas really bad last week#i live in south carolina not north#but South Carolina especially the upstate (where i live) got hit pretty bad#lots of fallen trees on houses and everybody lost power#nowhere as bad as north carolina but still 😭😭#very intense#i also had a very fun adventure of getting food poisoning a couple days ago😭😭😭😭#so ive been eating nothing but dry cereal and tea since lol#the power came on last night#i immediately cleaned everything haha#the scariest part is how out of the blue all of this was#had no idea it was going to happen#anyway hopefully this week i can get back to it!!!#making more art and stuff#my drawing tablet plugs into the wall and it killed me last week not being able to draw on the computer 😭😭😭#minor problems ik 😭😭#very happy and grateful rn#also gonna take a lot of naps bc im very tired lol
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And that's a wrap for the 2024 season! For my part, I enjoyed the hell out of the season and did not end it with closure (through no fault of my own, for once). The only reason I'm not in a rotten headspace about the lack of closure is reflected in my choice of phrasing for the opening of this post: the sheer amount of footage I captured this year and the anticipation of finally getting to sink my teeth into it, putting together that cinematic edit I've been dreaming about since 2017.
Final count: One-hundred and nineteen (119) shows. Three-hundred and twenty-three (323) gigabytes. Seventy-one hours, twenty-five minutes, and thirty-nine seconds (71:25:39) of footage.
As part of reviewing all this footage to begin work on those cinematic edits, I'll get started right away on posting the raw footage to the PARF-fan Facebook. This will not, I fear, be a swift process. It took me twenty-one days to get through the twenty-six videos from 2022, which I cared about significantly less than these.
As a compromise, I've begun posting individual one-off numbers from Finales in Song to the PARF-fan Highlights youtube channel. If there are any particular moments you would like access to sooner, message me and I'll toss 'em up there. I recorded every single Finale from the Saturday of Viking Weekend through the end of the season, with the exception of both days of Wizarding Weekend (as I was ill at the time, no I will not stop being salty about that). I also have the Saturday Finale of Pyrates' Invasion; as well as Off The Cuff on 9/21, 9/29, 10/6, 10/12, 10/19, 10/20, and 10/27; and Whose Jest from 9/21 and 10/13. (For that matter, I have the 2023 Finales from 9/30, 10/1, 10/14, and 10/22; and 2023 Off The Cuff from 10/1 and 10/22; and 2023 Boarshead Brawl with its multiple endings from 9/16, 9/24, 10/1, 10/8, 10/14, 10/15, 10/21, 10/22, 10/28, and 10/29; and I'd have more if I'd realized sooner that the ending changed daily rather than weekly, and also if it hadn't rained so blessed much.)
#for the duration of november and december i don't expect to post more than one video a day 'cause work is busy#parf highlights#parf-fan highlights#you can also request specific highlights at the email address in the channel description#i'll only be checking these platforms once a day so i don't expect to get to any of the requests within the same day#but hopefully within two days#i will always prioritize requests from the actors and other performers but first-come first-serve beyond that#parf-fan archiving#parf-fan videos#archiving parf#parf video 2024#parf 2024#pa ren faire 2024#pa renaissance faire 2024#pennsylvania renaissance faire 2024#pennsylvania renaissance faire#pa renaissance faire#pa ren faire#parf#ren faire#renaissance faire#real talk though wtf were they playing at forcing everybody out earlier on closing day than on all the other days of the season?#i literally only got to talk to three actors and two of them were ones who came up to me#i fucking miss gauntlet more than words can possibly describe
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i wanted to draw so bad yesterday, but i ended up going home and then dozing on the couch for like. 4 hours while val watched tv sljkdfklsj
#i was sooooooooooooo tired#and then i got in bed and passed out#comatose#still very sleepy but hopefully i can get some doodles done for the mafia event announcement#gotta make sure i have refs for everybody
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Is your pfp an oc of urs? Any story?
yah that's N.K.
primer: a former god of fear who has since resigned, and now runs what is essentially an intergalactic tourist trap on his cursed planet, simply known as ''nk's domain''
i don't really do "stories" per se i just have my guys in their 'verse and they have their lore and sometimes that's actionable in a plot sort of way, but most of the time they are just doing their things. nk is one of my oldest oc's and as such probably the most, like, centralizing? nk's domain is sort of a meetup hub for most other characters that don't have their own defined Thing going on, as well as what several characters' Things are directly related to, but nk himself isn't all that much of an active player any more and most of the current story type stuff i'm working with has kinda moved beyond him.
aside from that it's just his history tying him to other stuff; there's a lotta old-guard guys who fuckin hate him back from when he was still doing the whole 'reign of terror' fear deity thing [nk used to stand for 'nightmare king' but he just goes by nk now], there's a bunch a new-guard guys he's pissed off for being the main force behind the universal outlawing of capitalism[honestly not that important and some worlds still do it anyway bc gods are bad at caring enough to actually enforce their rules unless it's like a Really egregious violation], and there's also the history of said "cursed planet" itself [he didnt do that he doesnt know why its like that he just saw it wand went ooooh free real estate. but theres a reason its like that and he's starting to pay the price for having taken it over [accidentally unleashed an imprisoned god-parasite plague][uh oh][its that yellow thing in the last image][this is actually what my "main" "story"/alleged webcomic is about] [go here go in the dark]]
#obligatory disclaimer again all of my working with oc stuff is going to remain dormant until i get out of pizza hell#which i dont know how long that will take. another year maybe. hopefully not that long but hey. im having fun here#i said i would start working on tumblr-formatted refposts for my guys and ummm wellll i did not do that#eventually. we'll get there eventually#everybody want nk's ass dead so bad. smile#though since retiring his priority on most people's hitlists has sunk considerably#which is a good thing too since he's also gotten considerably weaker since retiring. stupid mechanics behind being a god you understand#still very much a god though so he's really only got to worry about shit if another god comes for him#but most consider themselves above his level these days.#that and the uhhh anti-god weaponry but ive not built that stuff out super well yet
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I almost put this in my tags for the last post, but I think it deserves it's own thing.
I am exhausted with this idea that love is inherently Pure and Good, therefore any love which is not Pure and Good is not actually love.
Love transcends morality. That is what makes it so powerful and beautiful. It can be (and often is) the source of goodness, what motivates selflessness and sacrifice. But those are the effects of love, not a quality that is inherent to it.
Love can also be a force of great evil. It fills us, consumes us, changes us, brings us to our knees and lifts us up from the darkness. We can be driven to destroy to protect it, or to destroy indiscriminately when faced with its abscence.
Love transcends reason, logic, and self-preservation. It means different things to different people, has different effects on different people.
Imo, pushing the idea that love is by definition "good" is actually quite dangerous. People know how they feel. Buying into this view leads many to stay in situations that are harmful because they think it can't be that bad if they're so in love.
Followed by the horrible need to reimagine what you had with someone after the fact, deciding to label the whole affair as "not real". You can't trust your own feelings or your own memories because they don't match up to the idealized vision you have of love.
Recognizing that the love itself was real, but the situation was bad allows for better judgment going forward. When you recognize that love still needs to be tempered by reason, that it can be unhealthy or harmful, you are less likely to be blinded your emotions.
#i understand that everybody has a different conceptualization of love#so hopefully i got across why i'm personally so frustrated by the idealization of it in our media#beyond it just being bland writing in general#also some btvs fans get to me sometimes - the continual demeaning of every action some characters take to prove their love#as um aktuaallly that's not love it's just lust and obsession!#it just drags down every conversation#i am irritated folks#and for once it's not because of angel the character lmao#ats#btvs#two of the worst offenders when it comes to mindless love idealization#dangel#spuffy#because it's very relevant to spike too
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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Song of the Day: August 1
“Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand
#song of the day#got a little mental space cleared and hopefully I'll be getting these out a bit more regularly again. starting on August with hope at least#in any case this is today's song because I finally got to read the first chapter of Sundowning /and/ there's already a second chapter!!#I was actually reading the second chapter and I hadn't put it together in time that Ghost wouldn't know Soap was alive#so I was completely blindsided by the guilt and despair and I got really choked up#and then at that exact moment Nick cut in to ask me how to fry an egg over medium and I was so caught off-guard#had to answer him in my wobbly teary voice. sniff-snuffling glasses off so I can wipe my face. you gotta tilt the pan a little. miserable#very much the opposite of that Always Sunny meme. can I ask you about an egg in this trying time#I'm not complaining everybody deserves eggs cooked to their individual preference and the fic is really really good#I'm just not likely to forget the experience any time soon#also I am still feeling such a way about 'Take Me Out' being played for a man who got shot in the head. god damn.
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Thanks to everybody who signed up for Patreon yesterday! We're gonna go some fun places together.
#I've really got to find a word other than 'fun' to describe my writing#but it's so accurate#that's why I write at any rate#I write the stories I want to read#live the lives I want to live#and I will happily bring you along for the ride#now if you'll excuse me I have another short story to write#hopefully the witty banter in this one will be#there it is again#fun#writer life#Patreon#it's off to a promising re-launch#thanks everybody
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Sometimes i wonder what of mine people would keep for themselves If i died. They say love is the little things, so would the little things be bigger now? I've made so many little things for people thru the years. I like cooking for people. And doing art. And I've made quite a few sculptures and paintings for family members. I wonder if they'd be attached to them. Maybe they'd keep them. Or frame them. People often tape my drawings to things, which is nice. I prefer that to framing but i suppose they wouldn't last as long. I wonder what they'd respond if someone asked what it is, the decoration that doesn't match. Would they cherish those? Or would they put them away? Will they ever see the effort i put in the things i do? The chores? The care? The way I'm often available in a pinch. Purposefully. How i usually accept those requests for help even if it's late or inconvenient for everybody involved. I just like helping. Most people take that stuff for granted. I wonder if those would mean something if i was gone. Or if it'd mean something else. I wonder what memories would stick around too...
#its weird. sometimes ill catch myself doing things and its one of the first things i think about.#when im not here to do this anymore will anyone miss it. will anyone think of it fondly. i hope they do#and ill hopefully move out this year so theres this feeling nagging at me#because when i left last time people seemed to miss me but everybody got used to it so fast. the house rearranged quick#the next week my room was gone yknow.#deep down i just want recognition for the effort i put in everything i do for people ig :(#anyways its late and i should go to sleep#im alright just thinking out loud
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i think, since there's so much, i should make my queue more active throughout the day and tag the things i'll be re-queuing so i can just go through the list in my archive to restock it easier
also i might restock the same ones i had in the queue before that it posted already just to start it over again so i can tag everything in better order without confusing myself
but it won't restart anyway until may when the 516 posts in there are done posting
or sooner if i increase the queue output
#me#as you can see#i have 0 plans to stop spamming everybody with the same russ posts repeatedly#i'm saying a lot of things about my queue but i haven't even done anything about it yet#i said earlier i have to add more to it#and then i immediately forgot and got distracted#and now here i am just saying things again without doing#and it's almost bedtime for me#will i actually act on any of this tomorrow?#hopefully#but we will see#anyway i have more gifs to post but i'll save them for tomorrow too#mostly because i want them to stay in my drafts so i can look at them before i sleep tonight#without worrying about reblogging a bunch of stuff and then having to scroll through my blog to get to them again#russ's smile is so very precious#and that's all i'll say about it#for now#i had another plan to gif something#but i think that'll be a bigger job than i thought it was gonna be#i mean it doesn't HAVE to be but it might bother me if it isn't#if that makes sense at all#i'm not explaining it either#but anyway#i'll stop rambling now
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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i do love me some experimenting with colors and shading techniques while also playing dress up with your oc's with funny poses and outfits you found on pinterest
(refs i used) (plus the color palette)(if the colors look different it's because when i upload my art to google photos it wildly messes them up)(and i do my best to correct them but they still may be different)
#feverdream.scribbles#i THINK that's my art tag#its been a while since i posted any art and tumblr is being not helpful by not showing me my recently used tags#everybody say thank you tumblr!#side note apparently you can edit tags on desktop??#can't tell u how many times i've type out a big ol rambler on mobile just to see i've critically misspelled an important word and had to#start all over#just on that one tag#the big one#i made like 8 spelling mistake#oh before i forget i should prolly tag#my ocs#arthur's place#arthur's house#that's such a sad title AGHSF#but it's what i got#i officially started writing it tho#hopefully a better title will come to me#also btw if anyone's interested in reading it (eyes emoji)#i don't know where to post it lol#cause it's not a fanfiction#also i've never posted writing anywhere before so idk how it works#i could very easily look it up but eh#meh#i don't feel like it#alright if you made it this far i truly love you you're a real one honest
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It’s been a year daddy
guess who's home from getting the milk 💪🍼💥
#ask#noraiir-arts#daddy's back to feed their children#this is not entirely true i'm on the verge of collapse#however today was my last day of finals everybody cheer!!!#my laptop is being a bitch and won't let me type emojis#thank you to everyone was kind and supportive of my inactivity you are seen and heard and appreciated#i am still burned the fuck out so bad after this terrible semester#but hopefully i can write a cute little revalink thang again soon :>#stay tuned amihan nation i shall rise again i love you all dearly#ok gn i only got 1 hour of sleep last night studying for my ochem and bio lab finals LMAOOOOOO
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meh
#if I tell everything in the tags would that make everything okay#fuck it this is Tumblr I can't have shit anymore#it's 3:25 am by the time i'm writing ts#I want to rip my skin out#everything sucks I can't think I hate it#what should I do tomorrow#everybody is probably tired of me now I can't do it#what should I do what should I do I don't know#I can't even look at somebody in the eye i'm a goddamn coward#when will I be able to get used to it. it's been 6 fucking years#I can't do it I don't want to wait I hate waiting everything sucks I can't#also I think I broke my neck (I already did)#I be moaning over something that's already over fuck this#monday's gonna suck#it happened before I can go through it again?#I don't want to face my classmates and other people what if I got cuffed again#I need to stop thinking it's gonna be over before I knew it please Lord help me please#I don't have to see these people again (hopefully)#they'll just mocked me because i'm an absolute fucking retard who can't even make eye contact with someone before looking away#I have to get used to it. I need to please#it's hot#I made too many fucking mistakes I can't do it#at least it's not as bad (it is)#oh yeah ofc my fucking brother turns on the goddamn heat lmao shoot yourself
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