#((Claude said ‘She looks like she could kill my ass? I want to talk to her.’))

[silvcrignis]

@lxdyvenxm con’t from {x}

“Apparently it is known as the Fog. I refer to it as the Great Willy Void,” Claude replied, broad shoulder rising in a shrug.

[weepingmilkshakedreamer]

AS1 dial0gue but it'z my au [Act 1 aka the part 1 0f thiz thing. l0l]

i've been thinking ab0ut making z0mething like thiz z0 uhh yeah here ya g0. l0l

Bleed: Oh sweet mother of God! I've killed a dead hobo!

Alan: I'm not dead you asshole! Argh... Quickly - you have to cut me open!

Bleed: Uh... I've got a pizza cutter!

After surgery

Bleed: So uhhh who are you sir?

Alan: My name is Alan probe.

Bleed: Can you teach me that- how to do surgery?

Alan: Teach surgery? I... I couldn't. Not again...

Bleed: Why not? I've got a bunch more tools in the van. And if that pool table over there doesn't scream operation, Then I don't know what does!

Alan: And who the fuck would want to be operated on by some washed-up old tramp and a god damn pizza boy?

*CRASH!!*

--------------------------------------------------------------

Tammy: Urrrr...

Bleed: Hello miss burglar! Fall through the window trying to rob our clinic i see?

Tammy: C... clinic?

Bleed: Yep! You're in luck- today's special is glass extraction!

After surgery

Tammy: Urgh... wow. Hey- do i recognize you?

Alan: Me?! Oh no no... I'm sure you couldn't!

Tammy: There was a doctor got himself into a heap of trouble a few years back... lotsa unexplained deaths.

Tammy: Then he just disappeared...

Alan: Ok that's enough of you now! Do come again.

*Alan pushez Tammy out of the Warehouse*

Bleed: Hmm. So uhh, was it true what she said? You're a doctor?

Alan: No! I mean, I used to...

Bleed: Can you teach me how to cut- I mean, help people?

Alan: Alright, Bleed. But we may have to improvise with the tools a little since the current layout we have is shit...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Claude: Hey i heard you boys were surgeons, can you guys help out here?

Bleed: Whoa! That porcupine has a hillbilly stuck on its ass!

Claude: I went to, uh, pick-up this here prickle-pig, but i done fell on it instead.

After surgery

Claude: That was pretty alright! I'm sure you can take my gratitude as a thank you!

*Claude leaves the Warehouse*

Bleed: So are you really the renegade doctor that burglar was talking about before?

Alan: Bleed, you have some real talent. I will continue to train you if it's what you really want...

Bleed: It's what I've ALWAYS wanted!

Alan: But I will only do so on the condition that we do not talk about my fucking past! It is uneventful and uninteresting, I assure you dumbass!

Bleed: Uhh... OK! You're the boss... uh- doc!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Cletus: I heard yew guys were surgeons of a kind, care to help out a friend... *Glug-glug-glug*

Bleed: Hello... Uhm are you drinking PAINT?!

Cletus: Doesn't say I shouldn't on the can! And that means a big fat payout from the paint company! Same goes for the nailgun maker who didn't mention I shouldn't shoot myself in the chest!

Bleed: One de-nailing coming right up sir!

After surgery

Cletus: yew guys are pretty good. Here - take my Buzzsaw as a kind thanks! I'm sure a pair of makeshift surgeons such as yewrselfves could use it!

Bleed: Aw hell yeah! Hey doc, you have anything you need amputating? cause I'll gladly remove it for you! Rrrm-rrrm!

Alan: (Sigh...)

--------------------------------------------------------------

Guts: I'm gus but fols call me "Guts". I was down at the bank, robbing... Uh, I mean, making a deposit And I slipped and fell on some bullets!

Bleed: Uhh... Ok? -

Guts: And what makes it worse is that I can't eats no more! Glaaaaargh!

Bleed: OH SWEET MOTHER OF-

Alan: WHAT THE FU-

Guts: See what I means? Can you guys take a look-see?

Bleed: (shudders and almost throws up) Ok let's see what's up...

After surgery

Guts: Ahhh... Dat's better! And there's nuttin' like a good clear-out to work up an appetite! The only hospital round here closed down a few years ago. Some nasty stuff went down there...

Alan: (shudder) Well, don't let us keep you!

Bleed: yeah that was honestly disgusting!

Guts: Right! T'anks again, fellas! I'll spread the word about you guys!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Trent: Hey your the Doctors my husband was talking about! you gotta help! You see i run the junkyard downtown - body disposals and whatnot...

Bleed: Car bodies? Or...

Bleed: Never mind!

Trent: I was down at the junkyard, Dealing with some scrap metal until I slipped and fell on it instead!

Bleed: We'll see what we can do.

After surgery

Trent: You guys are great! Thanks again!

Bleed: Well that was something! Goodbye now, Trent!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Jack: My nickname's "Lumbar" Jack. Partly becuase of my profession, but mainly because of my back, eh? It pains me something fearsome!

Bleed: Nurse! Anesthetic please!

Alan: Bleed I swear to god if you call me your nurse again, I will shove my foot so far up your ass you will have no idea!

Bleed: ...

Alan: ...

Bleed: Uhh... Can you at least get the Anesthetic?

Alan: (Groan...) Fine! Whatever!

After Surgery

Jack: That feels...

Jack: *CRACK!*

Jack: Oh yes! Ooh, I'll be back to wrestlin' bears and violating forests in no time!

Bleed: Right... well! Don't get the two confused! Have fun now!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Jimmy: Ta daaaa! Look in your pocket! Your watch is now gone! I stole it!

Alan: Wait WHAT?! YOU MOTHER- Wait. What the hell are you supposed to be!

Jimmy: JIMMY THE SPIDER! Cat-burglar extraordinaire!

Jimmy: I must have burgled, oh, five cats so far! Ha ha ha!

Alan: ....that's just down right awful

Jimmy: No, I'm just kidding. But I am totally SPIDER-LIKE!

Alan: Uh huh sure you are... Well bleeds running late so what do you want em to do when he gets here? Remove a part of your god damn brain to cure you of this weird god forsaken behavior?

Jimmy: No way! It's just that recently, some of my SPIDER MEALS have been... repeating on me.

Alan: gross... well say "Ah"!-

Bleed: Hey Alan! Sorry I'm late I've been... AH! SPIDER!

After surgery

Jimmy: Ah - that's much better!

Bleed: (shudder) Next time, why not try eating a spider to catch the flies?

Bleed: Or would that be like i don't know... cannibalism?

Jimmy: Ha! Yeah! Sure - eat a spider! Can you imagine someone coming in with a whole bunch of spiders running around inside them?

Bleed: OK YOU CAN LEAVE NOW! BEFORE YOU MAKE ME THROW UP FROM A IMAGE I DIDNT WANNA SEE!

Jimmy: Alright but before i go, have you guys ever considered going upscale? Maybe moving to the city?

Alan: Oh hell no! I much prefer the quiet life!

Bleed: But doc! think what we could do! There'd be loads more interesting stuff in the city!

Alan: I said no, Bleed!

*Jimmy leaves the Warehouse*

Bleed: But I still need more practice! Wouldn't moving to the city-

Alan: Bleed - you are a very talented young- or more middle aged man. In fact, you remind me of someone i used to work with...

Bleed: Really? You mentioned you worked with someone before! What happened to her?

Bleed: ...or was it a HIM?!

Alan: Never mind! Listen to me Bleed - you said you wanted my help. Fine, I will help you.

Alan: But all I want is a more quiet life! Out of the way! Is that clear?

Bleed: Yes.

Alan: Ok.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Pete: Ah hello guys! I've come into some right nice organs recently.

Pete: Seeing as my own organs are failing a bit, I was hoping you could swap my old organs with a new ones, like?

Pete: In return, I'll see you get all the juicy organs a young middle-aged surgeon could need!

Pete: Look at the tubes on that! glistening, they are!

Bleed: Let's do this!

After surgery

Pete: Amazing job you two! Tell me though, a place like this hardly fitting for people like you? isn't it?

Pete: There's plenty of work in the city! haven't you heard?

Pete: Some nutjob has started running around maiming people! terrible, it is!

Bleed: Doc, did you hear what that guy said? The city needs us!

Bleed: Please doc, I don't wanna be a pizza boy forever!

Bleed: And one day I wanna have my own surgery! for real! Please...

Bleed: And what about you!? Surely you must want something better for yourself!

Alan: I... I need to think. I'm going for a walk.

Bleed: Hey! Wait... doc...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Bleed: Man, I can't believe the doc left me on my own. What if some utter headcase comes in? I-

Penny: Bonsoir. I am Penny.

Penny: You are the pizza boy who operates with a spoon?

Bleed: Uh it's a Pizza cutter, actually.

Penny: Take up your spoon, my good man! I will be most interested to see what you find within me!

After surgery

Bleed: You were full of weird bugs but I killed them all.

Penny: Did you know the brighter and more beautiful the creature, the more extravagant and excruciating its poison?

Bleed: OK! Well that's great! Off you go now!

Bleed: ...

Guy: Hey you! Yeah you! I'm looking for someone!

Bleed: (Oh... he's hot!)

Bleed: Listen, whoever it is you're looking for, I think it may be me!

Guy: Euch! I wanted the surgeon! Goodbye!

Bleed: Hey wait! Wait come back!

Bleed: Argh! Dammit! This stupid uniform! How can anyone recognize me as a master surgeon when I'm wearing this thing?

Bleed: Man, where's the doc gotten to? I hope he's not gone off on another cough syrup bender and walked out in front of a car... again...

Alan: Bleed, I've been thinking... We should go to the city.

Bleed: Ha! Great! You know, this is just my day for good news! There was a really handsome guy here just now. He was looking for "the surgeon", Ha!

Bleed: Guess he didn't realize he'd found em! Woo!

Alan: A guy? My god... No, it couldn't be...

Bleed: Never mind that now! Let's get this show on the road!

[kyogre-blue]

Okkkk, done with the 12th month (aka goodbye Jeralt)

The fantasy action/adventure stuff continues apace. The Tomas/Solon thing was pretty smoothly set up, though I would say Monica/Kronya was much less so. She's mentioned like once, then gets one quick textbox of nothing on the stage immediately before the stabbening, so it really comes out of nowhere. It doesn't help that the cutscene is quite rough and doesn't really convey things too well.

Aside from that, we progress from Miklan turning into a monster while holding a Relic, to the Crest Stones being related to shapeshifting, to a mystery group who experiment on humans all the way to turning students into monsters with crest shards... and who also happen to be able to change their appearance. (Minor FE lore tidbit: in the old Archanaea games, there was a dragonkin who could shapeshift into other people. So this is all potentially part of the same experimentation.)

We also get into the mystery of Byleth's birth, but while Jeralt's diary makes it clear that he freaked out, Rhea herself doesn't come off as particularly ominous or suspicious. If anything, her reactions and the details that surface make her look burdened but not particularly culpable for anything. Actually, I am getting very attached to her. She's so pretty and so sad. Why can't I do her A rank? Why can't I S rank her on this route? :(((

The other major player is Claude, but... tbh I agree that the relationship with him feels weirdly floaty. If anything, I feel like it would at least be better if he said he had thought his dream might not even be possible, but seeing Byleth makes him feel like it might be achievable after all. At least it would add weight to it that way. As it is, the lack of anything concrete from him, along with his brown-nosing makes him come off as trying to manipulate Byleth more than forming a genuine connection.

The Golden Deer on the whole have a similar problem. They are nice kids, and the combination of their supports + paralogues does create a certain sense of community and group connection. I went around and listened to all their little dialogues about trying to comfort Byleth after Jeralt's passing... (Getting Leonie B rank immediately after tho... lol)

But it feels like there's a lack of some major anchoring event or cause to serve as the focal point, presumably because no one in the class can really interact with the plot and they're too disparate to share a similar broad motivation. Like, I don't instinctively reject their promise to meet in five years, at the Millennium Festival, but I can't say I'm all that invested in it either.

It also really doesn't help that the writers didn't bother fleshing out some of them. A lot of them cross the line from having traits that strongly influence them to having 2 jokes that they repeat in every support. Disappointing but unsurprising, it happens especially prominently with the commoner characters.

And again, liveblogging notes:

Rhea is so unsubtle about Flayn, "your... sister is like family to me," if we ever thought Flayn was really Seteth's sister lmao

And then Lysithea is like "she looks my age but seems so much older!" when she herself gets accused of acting too mature several times. lmao they were not subtle At All

Immediately after Tomas jumpscare, we get a required chain of dialogue highlight how he's so sus, he's been asking about Flayn before he knew she was missing, he was asking about Byleth and Jeralt too, he directly calls you out for finding him suspicious and tries to handwave it with "oh, I was just curious" aka the weakest excuse ever

I keep killing the other enemies before getting to Death Knight. Twice now! It's so rude because I didn't know he'd teleport out if I killed some other dude? Lysithea could one shot his ass, damn I'm not redoing that stage tho

At least I finally managed to grind out enough Armor to recruit Ferdinand. His C support is really funny because he wants to talk about what you think of Edelgard, but like... I've seen her like twice. I don't care, dude.

They mention that Byleth has started smiling twice in a row. This writing is not subtle lol

eeeeey got a paralogue AND a relic

Several mentions of Almyra, and these proper nouns are finally starting to sound a little more familiar. I have almost all C ranks and it's getting into the B ranks now.

Claude brings up wanting to use the Sword again. He's really hung up on that.

When Byleth suddenly falls over in the Remire month, Sothis mentions that she's felt dizzy before, but I can't remember what this might be referring to. She later says the feeling is very familiar, so it seems to be related to her? Mysterious.

Lysithea casually drops that she has multiple crests in conversation. We haven't discussed this before....

Claude points out that the Crest Stones on the Relics have the images of the associated Crests. He doesn't seem to know what Crest Stones are, though he knows the name.

He finds a picture of the Immaculate One and notices it might have a Crest Stone on it, linking it to the ability to transform. Which is... not incorrect.

Claude directly confronts Seteth about his censorship. Claude is so fond of the bludgeoning approach to conversation.

Monsters attack merchants all the time (at least in Alliance). Generally, monsters don't just occur naturally in FE settings, but I guess it's just a thing in Fodlan? These do seem to be mutated animals (holding "Dark Stone") rather former people, I suppose.

I actually kind of like Raphael. I wish his writing wasn't so much 2 jokes though.

Raphael and Ignatz paralogue suggests that Lorenz's dad got the "previous Duke Reigan" killed but like... the current Duke is Claude's grandfather. It seems like this is referring to Claude's uncle, but he's other times referred to as the previous heir, so...

Incidentally, two merchants were killed along with this previous Duke, who were Raphael's parents and went instead of Ignatz's parents by chance.

Claude describes his father as "extravagant" and his mother is apparently like a warrior goddess. She seems to be able to back it up, including getting into a fistfight with a famous warrior.

He's not very subtle about hiding his background. Like, bro, if you talk about having a combat instructor who has won a hundred battles, that's... not normal....

That reminds me of Claude expecting Cyril to recognize him. They don't have TV, so how would a regular commoner kid recognize the crown prince on sight? Does Claude's portrait get passed around? Is he Almyra's top bachelor of the younger generation? Or is he just that out of touch?

Solon was at the monastery specifically to get Flayn's blood. The Agarthans need it for their plans.

Flame Emperor jumpscare lol

Edelgard says she would have totally stopped Solon's experiments if she knew, promise. And smoothly goes into pointing out what a threat the Agarthans are.

Jeralt suggests running away from Rhea was a mistake. Claude suggests that maybe exposing the church's secrets might not be for the best.

Apparently Jeralt had told Byleth they were born after he left the monastery.

Tomas joined the monastery 40 years ago, then left 8 years ago, and returned 1 year ago. He was recommended by House Ordelia. Jeritza was recommended by the Imperial nobility.

Seteth and Flayn's paralogue is kinda... weird if it happens before the war.

Flayn B theorizes that maybe she and Byleth are related, it's possible given "everything Rhea has done." But Seteth doesn't know what could possibly be up with Byleth, so...

Getting both Claude B and Leonie B right after Jeralt's death is... sure a ride.

tbh the cutscene for Jeralt dying was kind of unimpressive.

Fun fact: it seems like you have to choose the Dancer on the very first weekend of the month, and it no longer works on subsequent weekends. Guess who overwrote their only save of that by accident. No dancer in this run, I guess.

[a-marlene-s]

Commission: Actions and Consequences

Tags: (I’m going to do a reblog tomorrow with the tags.)

@miner249er commissioned me to write this fic.

If you like my work, please considering supporting me! https://ko-fi.com/a_marlene_s

Warning: SALT SALT SALT SALT. CLASS SALT! LILA SALT! ADRIEN SALT!

Oh, and there’s a bit of Lukanette in this~

----

You know what they say…

All actions have consequences.

Every choice has a consequence.

Be responsible and be…

You get the idea.

This has been on the mind of everyone in the school of Dupont for who knows how long. Oh wait, that really hit home when one Lila Rossi came to Paris and started her lies. It looks like the only ones that were clearly fooled by her lies is the Akuma Class. Including their own teacher!

Well… except for Marinette.

She is the only one that is not fooled into believing such things. Who in the right mind would believe any of that? Akuma class, that is whom. People began to pull away from them. One by one, not wanting to be connected to them. Not so much for the fact they are known as the Akuma class… it is for the lack of regard they have for Marinette.

How dare they treat Marientte in such a way! After what she has done for them! For all of them! They believe the words of that liar over a friend they have known far longer. Some have tried to reach out, but Rossi is always near or just sucks them back into her webs of lies. Whatever work they have to get their friends back to a world of reality, it is reversed back the moment they step back into that classroom filled with webs.

Many have tried and tried again to help them. To help them see the light of what has been going on, but they all refused to see the light. Many of them growing toxic to themselves that it is better to cut ties then to deal with them anymore.

Who could blame them?

They tried. Truly tried.

Did they want to lose their friends?

No. They did not. But for their own health and sanity… they cut their losses and moved on. At least, they are reassured, that the only ones in Rossi’s grasp is the Akuma class sans Marientte Dupain-Cheng. For which, they made a promise to get protect her from them. She does not deserve the mistreatment. No one does.

-.-

It started out small.

Too busy to hang out.

Leaving messages on read.

Avoiding having them around.

Cutting conversations short.

Many other things to get away.

Some others… are more up front with their dislike with Lila Rossi.

They do not bother to hide their disgust.

Some kept quiet to a degree…

Mireille gave Lila a worried smile as she started to tear up about Aurore’s mistreatment towards the latter. She simply patted Lila’s cheek, leaning close so that she could wrap her arms around Lila to give her a comforting hug… before whispering into her ear as everyone watched on. “Play along… after all… this is just a game for you. You don’t want to disappoint your audience.”

It wasn’t much of an issue to play along with Lila’s games when she tried to bring in the Akuma Class as backup. Long as you show sympathy, play along with Lila’s games against her… you should be good. Lila will never break in character in front of them. Long as you don’t call her out in front of them and act just as deluded to make her mess up, it’s all good.

Then there are the times one has to be more up front…

“Achoo! Ugh, sorry, allergies you see.” Aurore sneered out as she ‘accidentally’ stabbed her umbrella into Lila’s hair when she sneezed. “I’m allergic to bullshit.”

Lila’s jaw dropped as she tried to pull her hair but only wincing as her hair really got caught in the umbrella. She looked around, hoping to catch someone’s attention. But… no one is paying any mind. If anything, one of them even went as far to offer Aurore an allergy pill. “Why are you doing this? I never did anything to anyone!”

“Oh, shut up. We all know you’ve been mistreating Marinette since day one.” Aurore teased, there was a glint in her eyes as she easily untangled her umbrella out of Lila’s hair. “All of us were willing to stand back because Marinette asked us to. Then you got her expelled… Let’s make some truths…”

-.-

Slowly but surely, things began to change for Bustier’s Class. Or better known as, the Akuma Class began to see a change. Then again, things have been happening and have been so caught up in Lila’s lies to even take note of any of it at first.

Many have already put a distance between them and themselves.

It’s silly really. None of them really had taken note of the fact here is now a wall between them. Slowly growing as time goes by. It really came ahead when news spread around on Marinette’s expulsion and her return back to school without much of a say on what happened.

Except for the fact Lila claims Marinette had stolen an answer sheet, her necklace and pushed said girl down a staircase.

Why no one bothered to look deeper into those lies, is beyond anyone at this point. What really got to the rest of the school is how the Akuma Class, Bustier and Damocles’ are so far up Lila’s ass that they wonder if they could even see the sun at this point. It was at that point, the gloves were off and no more.

It was time to bring out the big guns when word got out that Lila supposedly has a lying disorder… only to Bustier and Damocles. Only them, no one else. Thus, only causing more tension for Marinette with the rest of her classmates as they still believe the original lies. All of them giving her a side eye, wondering what she should do next.

Marinette doing something against Lila?

Hah.

It’s going to be the entirety of Dupont against Lila now.

Dupont vs the Akuma Class, sans Marinette. They love their sleep deprived cinnamon roll that could possibly kill them once she finds out what they are up to.

It would be so worth it though…

-.-

“I’m sorry Rose, I’m going to be busy that weekend. Busy, busy at the studio!”  Mireille smiled sweetly at Rose, Juleka, Mylene, Alya and Lila. “Nadja is prepping me to do live interviews over the weekend. I’ve been told I might interview a rock star! Isn’t that great!”

“Wow! That’s amazing, Mireille!” Rosa said in awe. The others following along, amazed by the news.  They were gushing over the fact Mireille is possibly going to interview a pop star soon. Going on and on… Mireille simply smile, keeping her arms behind her back and her knuckles turning white as she kept a tight grip on the back of her blouse. She kept an eye on Lila, her smile only growing as Lila tried to steer the conversation back to herself.

Mireille did not care; this would be the perfect opportunity for her to walk away.

Expect when she saw Marinette walk down the hallway with Aurore.

“Hey Marinette, did you hear? Lila knows who Mireille is going to interview.” Alya mentioned, grinning at Lila’s direction. “

Marinette paused, nose scrunching up. She looked over at Mireille to see her eyes narrowing at the direction of Lila. Clearly, this is one of the many lies Lila has up her sleeves. Aurore smiled at Lila, almost warningly. “Yeah, she told us last week.”

Marinette looked around her classmates to smile at Mireille. “Nadja finally got in contact with them?”

“Thanks to you, Marinette. Nadja got in contact with all of them.” Mireille smiled widely at Marientte and Aurore. “We can’t thank you enough for that favor! Come on! I know the perfect tea shop!”

Mireille walked over to Marinette and looped an arm around one of Marinette’s own. Her smile only grew as Aurore looped her own arm around Marinette’s free arm. The two girls quickly pulled Marinette away from Lila’s sights all the while talking about the interview and the tea shop.

“Did… did they just ditch us?” Alya pulled a face as she watched Aurore, Marinette and Mireille walk away. Mireille had earlier mentioned she was going to be busy after classes which is why they asked her if she was going to be free this weekend. Apparently, she’s supposedly busy with other things than to thang out with them. Why?

“Hey, girls… is everything alright, Alya?”

Alya and the rest of the girls turned around to see Nino and Adrien walking up to them. Her smile grew when she saw Lila warp an arm around Adrien’s own. What she didn’t see is how stiff his smile became but continued on.

Adrien looked ahead to see Marinette with a Mireille and Aurore. The three chatting away without a care in the world. His brows furrowed at the sight. As of late, this has been becoming the norm…

-.-

“Mom said we could hire a DJ for the event, but…”

“Davis already have the day filled?”

“Yeah. Along with Diego, Mei and Lola.”

“What about Nino? He DJ’s, too right?”

“Hah! Dad, don’t joke! Like I want him to DJ the party! Marinette is going to be there and if I have him there, he’s going to wonder why no one else in his class was invited. I am not going to invite a bunch of people that have been mistreating my friend.” Claude grimaced at the thought. He was not going to have Nino DJ his party. If things were different, things would have been different. It is his party. His. He is not going to run the risk of Lila Rossi and her flying monkeys coming to his party and making it all about her.

Yeah… that is not happening.

Lila will find a way turn the party so that it’s geared towards her. She did that at Izzy’s 15 birthday bash and it took Izzy weeks to console her after she regretfully invited Rose, who in turn invited Lila after she overheard the blonde telling Juleka about it. Rose never asked or apologized to Izzy about inviting Lila, who in turn invited her flying monkeys.

Yeah… Claude was not going to let that happen. To make sure that does not happen no one from the Akuma Class, except for Marinette, is invited to his party.

“That’s a bit harsh. I’m sure there’s more to the story. You and Nino were good friends for some time now.” Claude’s father said, worry filled his tone.

“And I thought Nino was close friends with Marinette far longer but apparently that does not matter to him.” Claude deadpan. “I am not going to have Nino DJ the party. Plus his girlfriend is Lila’s main supporter. If I do have Nino DJ, he’ll tell Alya who will tell Lila and I am back to square one. The one I want to avoid! I don’t want Lila Rossi at my party!”

“I’m sure she’s just trying to make friends…”

“…that’s what you said about Clarice before mom divorced you.”

-.-

Adrien paused mid-bite, straining his ears to overhear what is being said on the booth several seats away. He overhead Claude saying Nino and Lila’s names several times but never a clear sentence. It took a while before it caught on what is being said.

Izzy’s party was amazing to say the least! He went along as the rest of his classmates invited him along and he finally got permission to go by his father. The party was amazing to say the least! The music! The food! Everything else!

Why wouldn’t Claude want to ask Nino to DJ his party? It wouldn’t be a bad idea to invite everyone. It would be horrible to note everyone. Wasn’t Claude friends with everyone in his class?

Right?

Sitting across of Adrien is Nino, concentrating on a calendar that he brought out along. Nino has been… struggling to get gigs for a while now. It was not so much he could not get someone to hire him, from what Nino has been telling Adrien, it’s actually doing his job. As of late, he hasn’t been asked to DJ for anyone else outside of his class. Sure, there are some here and there, but at times… he needed to cancel because Alya wanted to do something with Lila and wanted him there for it.

-.-

Luka resisted the urge to pull out his ears as the rest of Kitty Section, sans Adrien and Marientte, whisper to other. All the while sending him weird looks throughout. This is the first time they have met up for practice in well over a month since they keep bailing on practice. Why? They prefer to hang out with Alya… who is hanging out with this Lila Rossi. All. The. Time.

They all have been talking about Lila Rossi… nonstop. Going on and on about her. To the point, Luka suspects that Rose wrote a song about her for some damned reason. Why are they talking about her?

Lila Rossi knows Jagged Stone.

How Lila Rossi’s dance move got stolen from Clara Nightingale.

How close she is to Prince Ali.

Lila knows a lot of people that could, supposedly, get them famous. How Lila has connections to help Kitty Section become famous. Knows someone that would make them better costumes. Along with even knowing how to write better music.

Lila this…

Lila could do this.

Luka stood up from his spot from the makeshift stage with his guitar in hand. There tunes are different, no longer in tune to the music, let alone to their hearts. More so when he is supposedly out of ear shot and they started to whisper about how Lila mentioned that he, the founder of Kitty Section, should no longer be in the band. How Lila told them how he is hold them back and that she knows someone that is better than himself.

Him holding them back.

Really?

Rossi is the one that is holding them back.

If they want to repeat that broken tune, so be it. He needs to find his muse. Luka left them to whisper to themselves. If Lila believes that they do not need him, so be it. Leaving without much of a fight, he knew when it was a time to retreat until they got their bearings. Right now, he now needs to find out more about Lila Ros-

“Psst! Over here!”

“Hey! You! Luka!”

Luka paused, an eyebrow raised as he slowly turned around to see two individuals, some of his sister’s friends from a different class, are calling out to him. They were both holding umbrellas, which only made them stand out more in his opinion. “Hello?”

“Come here!” The blonde motioned for him to walk over to them.

“Hurry before they see you!” The other said, pointing down the hall. Luka looked down said hall to see Adrien and some unknown girl that is clinging onto his arm. Oh.

Luka hurried over to the girls and they promptly hid him under their umbrellas and behind the pillar with them. It was close enough to listen into whatever Adrien and the new girl’s conversation.

-.-

Adrien stood by as Kitty Section walked out to meet him and Lila, and they started to talk about Lila’s advice. What’s this advice? That it would better for Luka to leave Kitty Section as it would be too weird for him to be in the band with them. It is concerning to say the least. Are the really going to kick out Luka from the band?

“It is better this way. Luka is only holding all of you back.” Lila smiled at her classmates as she tightened her grasp around Adrien’s arm. “All of you are better off without him. I’ve talked to that producer friend of mine and Jagged Stone, and they both agree. Luka is no good for your image.”

“I suppose you are right…” Juleka said, twiddling around with her gloves. Rose reached over to hold onto her hands and gave her an encouraging smile. Juleka chewed on her bottom lip as she thought it over.

“I am positive that Luka will understand.” Lila smiled once more and this seemed to put Juleka in a better place.

“We have been practicing without him for the last month.” Rose mentioned, tugging onto Juleka’s hands. “We could do it.”

Lila smiled brightly, increasing her hold around Adrien. She looked at the blonde for support. “Right, Adrien?”

-.-

Who does she think she is???

They have been practicing without him.  For the past month? Without him? Well, that’s one thing he could easily take with a grain of salt. What his sister is saying has his song beating a new beat that hasn’t been played for so long. What really got Luka’s attention is the fact they were all eating up Lila’s lies.

Are they really that gullible?

“This is just the bare minimum of what Rossi has been doing to your sister’s class.” Aurore explained, motioning for Luka to follow her and Mireille.

Luka’s brows furrowed over the blonde’s words. “…Is something being down about it?”

“More or less, but that’s for later. Right now, we are planning a party later for Marinette and we need you to distract her for a bit.” Aurore said, nudging Luka with her elbow and gave him a sly grin. “The party is for her. Did she tell you about her class situation?”

“Marinette has mentioned she wanted to tell me something but everytime she tried to say it, one of her classmates popped up and she would go quiet…” Luka trailed off as he took that in. Oh, that would explain some things. Shaking his head, he would ask her later about it. “I’ll talk to her later about it. Tell me more about this Lila…? I don’t like her song.”

-.-

Mendeleiev was never one that cared so much to know about the personal lives of her students. In terms that, she does not care who is dating (long as it is a healthy and very much legal relationship), knowing what her students are doing after classes (long as it is nothing illegal or against the rules), and well… whatever she had just witnessed from down the hall.

Ondine just broke up with Kim.  

Which is a big surprise considering how googly eyed they are… were for each other. A big shock, that’s for sure. However… considering what has been going on, it’s no surprise to anyone. Well…

To Bustier���s class that is. Those poor, poor, souls do not know what is coming to them. It was just a matter of time and patience before someone loses said patience. There is only so much someone could stand idly by or do their best to help others, before washing their hands of them. Look at herself? Mendeleiev did so to Bustier due to the fact the younger woman refuses to listen to reason.

Mendeleiev shook her head as she headed to her room. She needed to create some paperwork in hopes that will push some people to see things her way.

-.-

Adrien gulped when he heard the news that Ondine broke up with Kim. That came out from nowhere! Completely out of nowhere. Why did she break up with them? They were so happy together it does not make any sense.

A lot of things have not been making sense for a while now. Many of those things were small at first, but Adrien could no longer shake off that creeping feeling there is more t-

“Adrien… a word?”

-.-

Marinette stared down at her phone, her shoulders shaking as she read the text messages her fri… her classmates are sending her. Varies of texts that has her wondering what the heck is going on to her class, are they finally seeing the rest of the school just does not tolerate Lila?

“Block them, Mari.” Luka murmured into her ear while he played with her loose hair. He and Marinette were in her latter’s room on the sofa, with the bluenette snuggled up to Luka. He reached for the phone and took it from Marinette, ignoring the pout that was sent his way. Placing the phone in his pocket for safe keeping, Luka wrapped his arms around Marinette and reached down to give her a peck on her neck.

“I suppose I could forget about them for now…” Marinette giggled at Luka’s actions, she smiled when she felt Luka grin against her neck. She raised an eyebrow at Luka, despite the fact he could not see it. “Are you hiding something from me, Luka?”

“You could say that… Aurore and Mireille asked me to distract you as they set up a surprise.” Luka mumbled into her neck, his grin ever present. “How am I in distracting you?”

Marinette’s jaw drop when she felt Luka started to press kisses up and down her neck, her mind went blank just long enough to return the favor. This was so much better than dealing with her classmates demanding answers to something they should have known since day one.

-.-

“Ugh, again with Lila crap?”

“I know, right? Why does Alya keep posting those so-called interviews she has for Rossi?”

“I don’t know, but have you seen ClaudetteOneEye’s reaction and debunking of it? Hah! Her best yet!”

“She already did a reaction to it! I need to watch it!”

“We still have time before class, watch it now!”

Alya really wanted to storm out of the stall and yell at the individuals that were clearing mocking Lila, who in turn mocking her. What is there to debunk? There is nothing to debunk! Lila has been most telling about her history with Ladybug. They are best friends for Pete’s sake! Alya took out her phone and started her search to show those gir-

“You know how Alya always goes on and on about how she’s a reporter and always checks her facts…”

Snort.

“Hah. Her checking facts? Has she ever checked on any of the crap Lila has been spewing? Any of it?”

“I know, right? Plus, has she ever asked Ladybug about it before posting any of their interviews?”

“Like the little good reporter that she is? Unlikely. No wonder Ladybug has been ignoring her.”

Has… has she ever asked Ladybug about Lila? Alya ran a hand through her hair as she tried to think of an answer to her question. Of course, there were times when she has recently tried to get an interview, but Ladybug just… started to avoid her.

-.-

“Saving Jagged Stone’s cat? If they looked it up, they would have checked that him and his fiancé are allergic to animal fur.”

“Doesn’t he have a pet crocodile?”

“Yeah. He does.”

“That’s just as pathetic as her knowing Prince Ali and being friends with him.”

“Uggghhhh. That doesn’t even make sense, she’s been here in Paris for months before she started coming to Dupont.”

“That’s what I thought! Among the other bull she’s spewed out, the ones that grinds my gears are all the ones she lied about Marinette…”

“Yeah. They all known her for years and this new girl comes along and what? All that goes out the window?”

“Marinette does so much for them, and this is the thanks she gets? That they’ll believe Lila’s lies that she supposedly pushed her down the stairs, steal her necklace and some other bullshit?”

“Still heated about it?”

“Of course, I’m heating about it! They still think she did those things! From what Marinette told Aurore and Mireille, they didn’t even let her talk or defend herself. They took Lila’s side and expelled her.”

“Tell me again, how Marinette got un-expelled?”

“From what Marinette told them… Lila said she had a lying disease.”

“That is bull. I am so over the moon over the fact she’ll be leaving that class. Come on, Aurore said she’s going to need help setting things up.”

Juleka, Mylene and Nathaniel pushed themselves against the wall as they watched several students run past them towards the courtyard. Their expressions betrayed how they felt over what they just overheard. Did they just hear right? Lila has been lying this whole time… and none of them… No, just their class never caught it.

Except for Marinette.

Mylene shakily took out her phone to look up all of Lila’s stories, the others followed in doing so.

-.-

Adrien sat on a stone bench as he watched Kagami paced in front of him. Every time he tried to say something, she would shoot in a glare. He looked down on his lap as he tried to think of what he should say when he’s finally able to speak. Somehow, Kagami found out about Lila’s lies. All of them. From whom, he does not know. Maybe Marientte told her, he’ll have to ask her about it. She shouldn’t have told Kagami about Lila. “Kagami, did Marientte tell you about Lila? I-”

“Agreste, everyone at school and whoever has met Rossi, knows she is a liar. Everything that has ever come out of her mouth is a lie. Everything.” Kagami said in a tight voice. She stopped pacing to stare down at Adrien. “Marientte told me nothing. I was the one that had to go around to figure out exactly what type of person she is.”

“Why didn’t you ask me about Lila before you asked others?” Adrien asked, head shooting up to stare at Kagami with confusion. “I would ha-”

“You would have attempted to pressure me to not do anything against Rossi once I found out exactly what kind of person she is. However, considering you never told her off about that picture she took of the two of you…” Kagami looked up and down at Adrien, her mouth twisted into a scowl. “You would have attempted to have me stay quiet about Rossi’s nature. Just like you are doing to, Marinette… correct?”

“I-I just don’t want to cause problems!” Adrien exclaimed, pushing himself off the bench. “I don’t want any problems in class, and with Marinette trying to out Lila it was impossible. I don’t want Lila to get akumatized anymore.”

Kagami stood her ground, crossing her arms over her chest. “And what of your classmates? Your friends? Marinette or myself? I was akumatized because of her, remember? Don’t we all matter too?”

“It’s more complicated than that, Kagami.”  

“Complicated? Complicated! How is that complicated! Explain yourself!”

“…”

“…What did you tell Marinette about Lila’s lies? Adrien, what did you tell her?”

“Could we drop this?”

“Tell. Me.”

“I told her, as long as me and her know the truth, does it really matter?”

“Adrien, it does matter! Everything matters! You are allowing Rossi to walk all over Marinette and make her out to be the bad guy for trying to stand up for herself.” Kagami snarled out, causing Adrien to jump. “You are forcing her to stay quiet about someone’s lies. You do realize once your friends find out, they will be the ones that are going to get akumatized. Not Rossi. What then? Who are you going to protect then?”

“I’m doing my best, Kagami.” Adrien pleaded.

“Your best is not good enough. Rossi is escalating and you are doing nothing. What will happen if she says you two are dating? What then? Far as I supposed know, are dating but this is extremely one sided considering you keep putting Rossi’s feelings above everyone.”

“I… I don’t know…”

“…you are pathetic. Your best is not good enough and it will never be.” Kagami sniffed, she pulled out her phone to look at the time and grinned a bit. She put it away before starting back at an obviously hurt Adrien. “What? Like I would allow someone who I am supposedly seeing, to put some other girl’s feelings above my own.”

Adrien opened and closed his mouth, unable to say anything as he was unable to respond to Kagami’s words. How was he supposed to respond that, there was no answer to that for him. “Please understand th-”

Kagami shook her head before she pulled out phone before putting it away. She gave Adrien on last look before walking away. “You need to stop putting horrible people above those that have been nothing but supportive of you… It’s no wonder why Marinette has finally given up.”

-.-

Ladybug swung around Paris at night as she thought over today’s events. It’s safe to say, that today has been one of the best days of her life since becoming Ladybug to say the least. She felt free and no longer held up to an impossible standard. To think transferring to a different class has made her feel as such. It also may have helped she told everything to Luka what has been happening to her since Lila came to Paris. The memory of that conversation made her blush as at the end of it, they are now officially together. It made her happy, immensely so.

Their first date was at the welcoming party Aurore and Mireille threw for her transfer to their class. Best date and party ever. The cherry on top, was when her former classmates crashed the party(apparently that was planned) and Claudette of @ClaudetteOneEye did a live reaction to one of the newest interview of Lila. It was priceless to say the least. Her former classmates tried to approach her but that was shut down immediately. Many other things had happened at the party that made it so much better, but that’s a thought for another day.

Right now, there is someone sitting alone at the park.

Is that Adrien?

Ladybug let out a sigh before she swung down to the park.

Adrien blinked a couple of times when he heard steps walking towards him. He looked over to see Ladybug walking up to him. He smiled at the sight of her. “Hello, Ladybug? Having a good night?”

Ladybug raised an eyebrow at Adrien, she sensed something is up with Adrien but did not make any notion for him to open up. “A little late to be out, Adrien?”

Adrien shrugged before he looked down at the ground, his brows furled deep in thought. “Can I ask you something, Ladybug? I need your advice in something?”

Ladybug stared at him for a moment before motioning for him to speak. Might as well hear what Adrien wants to say and need advice in. This is new considering how his advice has never been exactly the greatest.

Adrien began to tell her about the advice he had given to Marinette, when it came to Lila.

Adrien Agreste is asking her opinion on the advice he had given Marinette, who by extension, is actually herself. The same advice that had weighed heavy in her mind so much so, that it nearly akumatized her. Ladybug had stopped listening to Adrien as she felt anger started to bubble within her. This is too much, far too much. It was one thing to ask her about his original advice. Oh no, now he’s going on about Marinette’s actions that contradicted mentioned advice.

For what? To make sure that Lila does not get akumatized. Again.

“And Marinette? What of Marinette? Were you not even worried if she got Akumatized because of Lila?” Ladybug cut Adrien off. “Have you even thought of the highly possible chance she could be the one getting Akumatized over your advice? Paris got very lucky tonight there were no akumas out tonight otherwise the city would have Akuma’s at every corner of it.”

Adrien looked shocked over Ladybug’s words. His silence, his answer, has Ladybug starting to pace around.

“No, you did not care. What you cared is to make sure Marinette kept quiet and did not stand up for herself. Not only to Lila, but also by extension to Chloe.” Ladybug grounded out, sending Adrien a glare as she continued to pace. “You expected Marientte that as long as the two of you knew the truth, that nothing else pretty matters? That as long as Lila continued lying to everyone and allowing her to walk over Marinette, who is supposed to be your friend, that it did not matter?”

“It’s not like that, Ladybug.” Adrien stood up and approached Ladybug. Ladybug raised a hand at Adrien’s direction to stop him from getting close to her.

“Then how is it, Adrien?” Ladybug questioned. “You are prioritizing Lila over everyone, even if it puts them all at risk at getting akumatized themselves. Is that what you wanted to hear? That your advice is horrible. Let me tell you something, Marinette, your supposed friend to nearly get akumatized. Twice. It’s all because of Lila and the second time, Hawkmoth got to her and for some reason the akumatization did not take place. Lila caused that. All because she wanted to keep your promise when it came to her. Truth is that Lila Rossi is a liar that should have been exposed a long time ago and I am happy that it happened tonight. I am happy!”

“What about Lila? It was horrible what happened to her, she got humiliated in front of nearly the entire school.” Adrien tried to ask but was cut off when he saw Ladybug pulling out her yo-yo.

“To be frank Adrien… when it comes to bad people… you need to knock them down several pegs to get them to understand how wrong they are.”

[randomnameless]

I write and write and make comparisons between a swimsuit and themes like tolerance and freedom,

But in this fandom, some people draw more dubious comparisons, especially ones regarding a certain game - and I warned (who?) at the beginning of the FE16 trend that while it wanted to have a Jugdral flair, it obviously failed. You have a sprinkle of Jugdral in FE16, but it’s only a surface image, or even a mirage.

“CrEsT SyStEM”? Holy Blood? No, those comparisons at least were made in good faith and had some merits.

One of the worst comparisons was noted by several friends, a certain someone, wanting to push a certain ship involving a certain character, managed to write :

“Every route makes one villain from Genealogy of the Holy War the hero, Edelgard being Arvis, Dimitri being Eldigan, Claude being Travant and Rhea being Manfroy”

:(

This will not be a post about Manfroy’s hips, you are warned

Who is Eldigan (Eldie)?

A man who is the carrier of Hezul’s holy blood, Hezul being the founder of Augstria, a sovereign state. Everyone loves Eldie, he is good-looking, strong, kind, chivalrous and has the magic blood that makes him able to use his magic sword.

Is he the King of Agustria? No.

The King is a man named Chagall, who has an ugly sprite, doesn’t have Hezul’s magic blood and cannot use the magic sword. He also killed his father, and is really jealous of Eldie.

However, Eldie’s line (House Nodion) has sworn to support the royal line of Augustria (Chagall’s), so even if everyone wants Eldie to ascend to the throne, he will never accept it. Even if Chagall pisses on him, or imprisons him because he felt like it, Eldie will not rebel against his King. Eldie is seen as a Camus, because he will fight and die for Chagall, and his country, when Sigurd is... more or less attacking Chagall (because Sigurd’s forces are occupying Augstria and Sigurd’s orders are to bring peace to the land, Chagall doesn’t want peace and wants to fight to retake his throne). If everything ends well, Eldie will promise Sigurd he will try to talk one last time his king, try to convince him to accept a ceasefire and peace with Granvalle - but Chagall is an ass and beheads Eldie.

Dimitri... isn’t like Eldigan, at all. First of all, Dimitri is supposed to be the crown Prince, instead of being a mere knight sworn to serve the royal family. Secondly, Dimitri doesn’t die because his liege beheads him - Edelgard will never be his liege - he dies either by defending his borders against someone who is bringing war to his lands and wants his head, or he dies because he pursues Edelgard in a three way battle in Gronder.

We do not know what Rufus is like to his nephew, but I am pretty sure he is no Chagall.

The only common points Eldie and Dimitri have is their blond hair, and sometimes, their manner of death. there is also something about bonds with their sisters but we’re not here for that

Who is Travant?

Travant is the King of the Thracian Kingdom, a proto Nohr-like place, where farming is difficult, and the people living there are starving and often turn to banditry or become mercenaries to be able to earn some money.

Thracia’s neighbour, the Manster District (Manster) could export food to Thracia... but they do not, because, well, the people in charge of the Manster District do not like Thracians a lot (and use slurs to talk about them, but Quan is a special character). So Thracians raid the border, with hopes to reunite the peninsula, with the dream that, one day, they will seize the arable lands in the North.

Travant has an infamous line, which more or less went like “I will unite the peninsula for the sake of my people, and if that process dooms me to hell then so be it”.

And to hell he will go, because by Jugdral standards, ambushing Quan and his family in a desert (horses cannot move in sand, another example of gameplay and story integration!) with horseslayers, is despicable, especially since he leaves no one alive, even, apparently, killing Quan’s young daughter Altena.

(Travant ranks pretty high in the douchebag ladder).

With time, Altena grows, unaware that Travant, who adopted her, isn’t her real Father, Quan was. Things happen, Altena discovers the truth, and Travant finally achieves his dream by making a suicidal charge against Seliph’s forces (he doesn’t even bring his magic lance to the fight!), with him dead, finally, the peninsula can be united under one leader.

Claude? Also has a wyvern. And comes from another land than our hero (but which one?). And... that’s all.

If Almyra raids every sunday, it is not because they are starving, but because they are doing it, per Cyril, for funsies. Claude pretends to be a schemer and underhanded, but he never does something on the scale of the Yied Ambush (the moment where Travant pulled out the horseslayers against Quan). Claude never takes a child hostage, and never orders his daughter to punish civilians.

If Claude wants to unite the two countries, it is not because he wants his people to finally leave their life as mercenaries and bandits behind, but because he wants people to understand each other.

Edit because I’m sleeping : Travant will die for his dream. Claude... always survive. Always. I am not saying he doesn’t believe in it, but he is not as desperate as Travant is.

Comparing Claude to Travant is like comparing... Virion to Iago. They are both male with long hair, and pretend to scheme. Bar that? Well... they both have hands...? I guess?

Who is Manfroy?

Manfroy is... both a mastermind and a plothole.

Manfroy was the one in the shadows engineering a war in Jugdral, not because he likes wars, nope, but because he wanted political instability to recreate the Loptyr Empire.

He will help a douchebag to conquer the world, and use him to sire Julius, the only person in Jugdral who can become a host for the dark dragon Loptyr. The last time Loptyr was there... well, apparently it wasn’t roses and sunshines, slavery was rampant and citizens were pitted against each other to make sure the strongest ones would become citizens of the Empire.

Why Manfroy does this? It depends on the sources, but it is heavily implied Manfroy is part of a sect (sect as in group of people practicing a religion, here the Loptyr religion/cult) persecuted by a lot of people in Jugdral - to the point where Agustrians were having witches hunts to chase them. Manfroy and his followers escaped the the Yied desert, touted to be an inhospitable land. His people had no where and no one to turn to, so they prayed to their God Loptyr (who doesn’t give 3 figs about them).

Manfroy is thus the Archbishop of the Loptyr Church. He also killed his son in law, for some reason, and planned to turn his granddaughter in a zombie. Manfroy also supports (and conducts?) the child hunts, basically the plot in the second part of FE4 and FE5 where the Granvalle Empire and the members of the Loptyr Church round up children, take them from their families (sometimes by killing said families) to send them to Granvalle, with the highly suggested goal of sacrificing them one way or another to Loptyr.

On the not-so bright side, Manfroy doesn’t kill Julia - when Loptyr/Julius expressly asking him to do so, because Julia is the only person, story-wise, able to kill him.

What a guy! 

Now, Rhea?

There are some comparisons to be made, unlike Claude and Dimitri, but again, it reinforces how they could be seen as foils.

Rhea? Yes, also engineers the birth of a vessel.

However, unlike Manfroy who “forced” Arvis and Deirdre to marry and have a baby, Byleth’s birth, born from the union of Jeralt and Sitri, was completely unexpected. There is no trace in canon of Rhea arranging Jeralt and Sitri’s meeting, and future wedding.

Rhea? Also wants her granddaughter to “die”?

Well, not this one, since Rhea thinks Billy is actually an amnesiac Sothis. Billy would just recover their memories.

Rhea? Doesn’t start a war to build her Sothis vessel. Hell, the DLC is about her previous experiment to resurrect her mother - it was a failure, but someone supposes she fails because she did not want to bleed dry the Four Apostles. Rhea wishes to resurrect a benevolent Goddess (when Manfroy knows Loptyr is... far from benevolent) but will not kill to do so.

Sitri? Asked her to save Billy, by offering her own life.

The most interesting foil though is... how Rhea and Manfroy both belong to a community that was persecuted by others, the people they are supposed to live with.

Manfroy? Went the “if the world hates me, then I will hate it and burn it down” route.

Rhea? Doesn’t want to kill humans, hell, she and her brother disagreed because she didn’t want to kill children of the people who wronged her! She opens a monastery and offers guidance to anyone who needs it, a shelter for the needy and tries her best to protect peace and the humans living under her care.

They could have followed the same path, but didn’t. Manfroy rounds children to kill them, Rhea offers a new home to children who lost theirs.

They can also be compared with their “welp” points, Rhea gave CF!Billy the means to destroy her, just like Manfroy “forgot” to kill Julia - and yet, again, it is different. Rhea trusted Billy and never wanted to use them as a tool, in the other routes, it is because she trusted Billy with “those means” that Billy is able to save the world. Manfroy? Berserks Julia, wishes to use her as a tool and suffers when she regains some agency and beats her brother. But even without Manfroy, Julia would have recovered the Book of Naga to end Loptyr.

Rhea and Manfroy are definitely not parallels, but foils.

And the best for the end...

Who is Arvis?

Well... to summarise Arvis in a few words...

it’s impossible.

So, Arvis is the descendant of one Jugdral’s God-Crusader, Fjalar. Arvis is very proud of his heritage, but he also bears Loptyr blood, through his Mother. And yet, since the Loptry blood exists thanks to Saint Maira - the brother of the Loptry Host of that time, Emperor Galle, who rebelled and helped the Crusaders - he is also very proud of this heritage and his two brands.

Arvis’s familial history is a mess, his father was a womanizer and his mother abandoned him (which might have fueled his Freudian complex?). When his Father died, he exiled all of his bastard siblings, bar Azelle (his bastard half-brother, sired to his mother’s favorite maid). Arvis apparently wasn’t interested in women before he met Deirdre and fell in love with her...

But he had time to sire a bastard (on his best friend and confidante).

Arvis wants to build a world free of prejudice and oppression, and wants to build it by... associating with Manfroy, who blackmails him about his Loptyr blood (if Arvis is proud of his Loptry blood, sadly the Agustrian witch hunts are still a thing, and it will not be well seen in Granvalle’s nobility); however, he made it clear, to Manfroy himself, that he will never allow another Loptry Empire to be reborn. Arvis thus uses hiw fellow Dukes Reptor and Langobalt to set up a coup against Prince Kurth (the Prince of Granvalle) to kill him. Arvis grows close to Kurth’s father, Azmur and more or lesses takes care of everything in Granvalle, since Kurth has no heir left.

And, by chance, Deirdre, Kurth’s bastard daughter, thus rightful Princess of Granvalle, appears at his door. She bears the mark of Naga (the special blood of the Crusader Heim), so they marry, and if they have a son, their son will rule over Granvalle, Arvis acts as a regent until then.

(women can’t rule shit in Jugdral)

Then what? His plan is set into motion, all Granvalle Dukes die, he and Sigurd (plus his pals) are the only ones left, Sigurd dies after being lured to a welcoming party, and Arvis becomes the last man standing able to rule Granvalle, who became, through his plans and treacheries through the 1st gen, an Empire.

(and then his son becomes a Loptyr host, vaporises his mom and makes his sister disappear, wrestles power from him and he is reduced to a sad state (oldvis). He makes a last stand against Seliph, after delivering him Sigurd’s magic sword, and dies.)

Okay.

So, now, Edel.

Arvis managed to become the ruling... person in Granvalle by eliminating all of his rivals, and securing a nice marriage. Edel becomes Emperor... because Ionius gave her his crown, as her father.

So they do not rise to power the same way.

Edel never talks about her brands, but Arvis is proud to bear them and proud of his ancestors. Judging by how Edel speaks of Wilhelm I as a traitor who sold humanity to creatures, I am not sure she is proud to bear his blood.

Also, while Edelgard is extremely prejudiced against Nabateans, Arvis wishes to create a world... free of prejudice (his actions though...). He does not mind Manfroy preaching his stuff, when Edelgard will not allow anyone to follow the Seiros faith (friends put it better, but in several routes, the people who were followers of the Church of Seiros are missing in Adrestia...).

While both Edel and Arvis think they are making “sacrifices” for the greater good, as pointed out earlier, this greater good is different. They both ally with a death cult, but Arvis is naive enough to think Manfroy will not backstab him - he even wishes for him to preach his nonsense freely. Edelgard has been hell bent since day 1 on getting rid of Thales and friends.

By the time Arvis learns of the child hunts and Julius’s nonsense... he wants to stop it. He is however powerless to do so (or so we think! Apparently he and Ishtar managed to hide every children captured in a castle!) but, at least, he tried to do something.

Crest Beasts... are still used, no matter the path, and even after Edelgard became Emperor.

Now, if Manfroy had to capture children and round them up for execution to make sure Arvis would become Emperor, would Arvis have supported him? I... don’t think so. If children were captured during Arvis’s conquest of the world and it was a “necessary evil”, would Arvis have accepted it? We don’t know. Prideful as he is, I don’t think he would have agreed.

(which is all kinds of wrong, the man can start wars and backstab friends, allies and turn his own brother to ashes, but hunting children is too much? Meh. And yet, Manfroy mentions something about his ways and his pride being an obstacle to the realisation of his dream).

Arvis is... a complicated character. A douchebag through and through, who tries to redeem himself at the end, but ultimately fails. He is rewarded for his actions in the 1st gen by the 2nd gen, where Julius becomes Loptyr and destroys his Empire. He had it coming? Yes. Is it painful to watch? Yes.

Edelgard... does not face any retribution for her actions.

Yes, she can also kill her (step) brother. But either she didn’t remember it, or only cries after it, and ultimately puts the blame on him - so it is not a sacrifice ?

People doubt her words? Well, it doesn’t matter, Linhardt, Yuri and Lysithea are still alive after their... interrogations. Reptor doubted Arvis’s words? Aida was sent as back-up (and... backstabbed him).

Ultimately, Arvis loses Deirdre (whose ghost chills with Sigurd’s), Julia and Julius, whom he loved dearly. Edel loses... Billy, and some randoms.

So, in a way, Edel feels like a discount Arvis, because she misses his ascension to power and his downfall. Arvis doesn’t mow down enemies on the front lines like she is doing, Arvis maneuvers to ensure victory.

Both fight for ideals, but Arvis seems to believe in them when I cannot believe a world for “humanity” involves continuous making of Crest Beasts.

Both betray the main character, but Edelgard is hit with the uwu hammer, thus cannot kill Billy - Thales does it in the non CF-routes.

So... short story, long story, Eldie is not Dimitri, Claude is not Travant, Rhea is a foil to Manfroy and Edelgard is a discount Arvis.

Also, I don’t know what kind of weed the person who wrote this take had, but labeling Eldie as one of FE4′s villain is as dumb as labeling FE7 Karla a villain because she appears as a red unit you have to fight.

where is edel’s bastard son

[sylver-drawer]

A friend in a discord server I’m in told me I should talk about it on Tumblr, so I said why not.

Many people in the WMMAP (Who Made Me A Princess) fandom really belittle Jennette’s character for a variety of reasons, which I will gladly write about in a separate post. However, one reason people claim to dislike about her character caught my eye.

“Jennette’s idea of familial love being the strongest is stupid, and she’s stupid for believing she will ever get accepted as Claude’s daughter.”

For context, Jennette’s character. In the story, Jennette’s origins involve Anastacious and Penelope doing an experiment where Anastacious cursed his own unborn child with black magic. However, no one knew that Jennette was not Claude’s daughter, so Roger Alpheus raised Jennette as if she was Claude’s. That includes constantly telling her that she is Claude’s daughter from hen she was a young age and throughout her life. This is only one of the reasons wh Jennette is so adamant on familial love being the strongest form of love, due to her upbringing within the Alpheus Estate.

Now, here’s the ironic thing about this statement. The comment about ‘familial love being the strongest bond’, as well as the belittlement of Jennette’s naivety for this idea.

Jennette... isn’t wrong.

Now let me explain. It is true that her idea of the praise of familial love is strongly created by her sheltered upbringing and her naivety, but when you take a look at the whole story of WMMAP, she isn’t wrong at all. After all, we’ve seen proof of it throughout the whole Manwha.

Strictly analyzing and taking a look at Jennette’s interactions with other characters as a first example. Jennette, from as young as she was being a child, could identify herself the difference between different types of ‘love’ just by watching Ijekiel and Roger interact. This already separates her and the Alpheus’, because the Alpheus’ despite being vaguely related to her through blood, never actually considered her as family. Yes, including Ijekiel. And, Jennette realizes that disconnect.

After all, why else does she open up to the shadiest man she had met? Take a closer look at Jennette’s interactions. She can never truly open up to anyone. Not to Roger about her feelings. Not to Ijekiel about her feelings (which, I will also talk about in another post). But the one person she was able to open up to at all? It was her father. The man who is the most blood related to her. This also explains why her reaction and grievances over Rosalia’s death was so emotional. Despite most likely rarely meeting Rosalia in person, Jennette herself felt like she could open up to Rosalia, as Rosalia was the only one she felt she could open up to in a home where no one gave her that strong bond that is, ‘familial love’.

Every single person she has been able to open up to, was someone directly related to her as well as acknowledged themself as a part of her family.

I’m sure many people reading this, however, dislike listening about Jennette so I’ll use another example. Roger and Ijekiel.

Roger is an ambitious man. Despite being a Duke, the highest in the royal heirarchy other than the royals themselves, he wants more. Not for just himself, but for Ijekiel and Ijekiel’s future. That’s what his whole plan is about. Climbing the social circles, kissing Claude and Athy’s ass and manipulating a child—it’s for Ijekiel. Jen, the most oblivious and naive character in the story, had taken notice of their bond with eachother since she was a mere child.

That’s because Roger and Ijekiel are family.

They have their ups and downs with one another and disagree with one another, but ultimately, Ijekiel still calls Roger ‘Father’ and Ijekiel is still Roger’s ‘Son’. If Ijekiel truly does not agree with nor want to do something, Roger takes it into consideration because Ijekiel is his son. Because they are family. And that is the bond, the familial bond, that Jennette is referring to.

If that’s not enough evidence, then fine.

Athanasia and Claude.

Many argue that Jennette’s naive and idealistic hope is invalid. But the proof has been with our main character and her father this whole time.

Think about it. Before his amnesia. Before bonding with Athy. Claude had drawn interest in Athy because Athy was his and Diana’s daughter. Because he remembered Athy was his and Diana’s daughter. That’s the whole reason why Athy and Claude have a bond, because of their familial connection.

And you can’t even argue that’s not the reason their current relationship is how it is now, because the manwha always reminds us. Who does Claude always think about when he sees Athy? His lover, Diana. Their familial connection. That familial love. The whole reason why Athy remains with Claude to this day, because of their familial love. The familial love that everyone bashes Jennette about.

Haven’t we already known? The whole reason why Lovely Princess’ Athy suffered was because Claude never considered her as family. Because he forgot about their familial connection. Their bond. Even recently, Claude threatened Athy to the point of being seconds away from killing her because he forgot about their familial bond.

EVEN THE CONFLICT. Even the conflict derives from the concept of ‘familial love’. Anastacious and Claude, who loved eachother so much during their childhood. Their whole conflict, the reason why they even turned on eachother was because Anastacious was manipulated to doubt him and Claude’s bond. That’s what began their whole conflict.

And Aeternitas? He first became evil because Lucas questioned his origins and magic. Lucas questioned if he was truly the king’s son, questioning his and his father’s familial connection.

It’s been there this whole time. Jennette’s ideal of familial love being the strongest bond is the literal theme of WMMAP, and no one realizes that. Jennette was the original heroine as well. Why should it be so strange that her motivation is the theme of what is still the world of Lovely Princess, now Who Made Me A Princess?

WMMAP’s theme is ‘familial love is the strongest bond’. The proof of it has been in front of us the whole time, but we’re too blinded by our hate for the character to even listen.

[butwhatifidothis]

Claude never shows a desire to reform/abolish nobility, nor does he ever show a desire to do anything about Fodlan's worship of crests either. He only talks about wanting to unite the world. Problem with that is, it's never shown cause Verdant Wind copied over 95% of Silver Snow's content, leaving next to nothing about Claude's actual goals.

Edelgard and Claude are only similar on the most basic level of being big dreamers that think the Church's influence interferes with their goals. Claude never said he thinks the Church needs to be entirely gone or that the idea of nobles and commoners is a detriment like what Edelgard thinks. Claude's problem with the Church and Rhea is that he believes its influence leads to Fodlan closing itself off. That said he's not willing to die for his dreams like Edelgard.

(Again, assuming these are related, if not then sorry!)

The thing is nonnie, I agree with you, for the most part. Claude has his priorities, Edelgard has hers, and they are only kinda sorta similar if you squint hard enough. I know that... but the game doesn't

The game is what is saying Claude and Edelgard have these ~similar goals~. It's Claude and Edelgard who are mutually saying that they have similar viewpoints. It's Edelgard at her last stand who is the one saying "Your ideals, I understand they're not so far removed from my own." I wouldn't be asking "Why doesn't Edelgard try to convince Claude of anything" if there wasn't something in the game that could reasonably have me asking that question, if the game itself didn't try to convince me that Claude and Edelgard are ~oh so similar~ in their ideals (when they're not).

But it does. It makes a point to have Edelgard herself say that Claude's ideals aren't that different than hers, whether due to a mutual misunderstanding of the other's viewpoints or a shoddy attempt to make Edelgard look better, and it makes a point to have Edelgard still try to kill Claude regardless. Despite her thinking he's not that different from her, she still is under the belief that he cannot lead Fodlan, that she is the only one who can, that she is under no obligation to even try to tell Claude about "the sufficient knowledge of this land's suffering" that she of course knows so much more than him about, and that he must die in order for her ideals to take place. Again, these ideals which are apparently "not so far removed from [her] own."

That is what makes that quote so telling. Her own acknowledgement of Claude's (apparent) similarity to her still not being enough for her to hand the reigns over peacefully to him. This isn't a fundamental disagreement that both parties acknowledge as incorrigible like with Dimitri and Edelgard's parley - this is her seeing someone she thinks is not that different from her that she thinks is still failing in terms of being able to rule because, let's face it, he's not her. He doesn't have her super-secret-Emperor knowledge passed down from generation to generation, he doesn't have the ~conviction~ (despite being the one who's kicking her ass so obviously just having conviction does jack all), and she can't tell him the super-secret knowledge, he hasn't proven himself worthy despite clearly winning over her, so he must die.

Because what will happen if Claude is the one to rule Fodlan? Or at minimum have the Alliance be the major nation of the winning side of the war? It means that the Empire isn't the one ruling. It means that by all likelihoods it'll be the Alliance being the big wigs. And we know Edelgard's feelings on the Alliance (and Kingdom) compared to the Empire. We know what she really wants of Fodlan. So the Alliance being the winners was absolutely never gonna fly with her, and Claude (and Dimitri) being alive/in Fodlan were never gonna be okay with her

[fireemblems24]

Chapter 16 Battle

Below is my random thoughts playing Ch 16. I may or may not have gotten embarrassingly emotional playing a certain route.

I'm playing all 4 routes as my "first route," so please no spoilers beyond this point.

Crimson Flower

As much as I'm absolutely dreading killing Rodrigue and Ingrid, I'm going to relish taking Cornelia out.

My very first move this battle - Felix kills his father. RIP Rodrigue. (Felix used the Crest of Fraldarius first, then crit him. Damn, I hope he's nicer to Ingrid).

Rodrigue and Felix's battle dialogue though :(

Oh, God, Ingrid's chosen to fight for Dimitri till she dies. I'm surprised how upset I am having to fight her. I mean, I always liked Ingrid, but I think I like her more than I even thought I did.

Linhardt just said "is any of this worth it?" Me too right now, buddy, me too.

Time for Felix vs Ingrid. She dodges his bow, then hits his ass with her batallion on EP. I'm proud of her.

God, you have no idea how happy I am that Ingrid called Felix out for betraying everyone - that she didn't forget Glenn. Because, I mean, Felix IS fighting for the team that killed his brother.

His rebuttal was so weak too. "You don't understand." No shit, Sherlock, that's why she asked.

Shit, Ingrid's dead :( that sucked.

God it felt good to kill Cornelia after that.

I really am not ready for Fhirdiad. Ingrid and Rodrigue were hard enough. I'm so not ready for Dedue and Dimitri.

But I think this is my last Crimson Flower level until I'm ready to play the last two back-to-back? I don't know about that. I may just want to get the next chapter over with.

OMG Felix was my MVP. His "motivation" is maxed out after killing daddy and Ingrid and preparing to off Dimitri. That's so cold blooded.

Silver Snow

Time to kill criminally underused dragon lady.

A rare sight - Lysithea having to hit something - twice.

Ok, so does my CF team suck? Or is there a steeper difficulty curve because it's shorter? CF Ch 16 wasn't hard, but everyone in SS is easily killing everything. Like this level is a legit joke to my SS team, but in CF I at least had to be cautious.

You know, I've talked about my SS!Ferdinand before, but my Lysithea and Sylvain are also both absolutely terrifying.

Oh no, Lorenz! He was one of my core SS units 😭(before he betrayed us).

Didn't people say he comes back if I kill him with Byleth or something? Not sure I need him anymore.

Should I? Just? Kill him? Because I can? Or be nice? I'm not even sure killing him with Byleth will work.

Anytime the enemy uses that firey wagon batallion and it misses it's so funny.

Oh, man, Lorenz was told fight for the Empire or die? He sounded so sad about fighting Byleth. I can't not try to spare him after that. Not sure if this is going to work.

OMG OMG IT WORKED! I don't have to kill him!!!! I can't, not after learning he thought he'd die if he didn't join the Empire.

This is the first chapter Ferdinand has actually been dancing. And the second I unleash him, double crits against an armored night. Man is bloodthirsty.

"Defeat boss" when the boss moves and is on a dragon sucks. Because every level is always and forever - route enemy.

Annnnd . . . . that's it. Killed everyone but Ladislava and only Bernie and Anna used their turns, so now it's just a matter how picking who gets the kill.

For the record, Linhardt got the final blow. I always feel bad making him kill, but he needed the experience points so . . .

Seteth just prayed for his enemies 😭

Verdant Wind

I already have Lorenz, so I don't have to "kill" him with Byleth this time.

Oh, wow, Ferdinand's on the map. Didn't see that at first.

Even if he wasn't an enemy commander, I'd kill him. Kill 'em all is just too much fun. I'm also less upset about killing him than I thought I'd be. I thought he'd be a much bigger deal than he actually is. He's a good boi and all, but I'm just not emotionally attached, and I thought I would be.

OMG, Claude. He's like - naw, just kill Acheron. He's a nuisance.

Acheron is really a meme though. He show up in some paralogue (I don't remember) and yeah I don't think we're supposed to take him seriously.

I find it mildly amusing that every noble who sides with Edelgard in the Alliance and the Kingdom either a.) have lands close to the Imperial border or are b.) the corrupt nasties.

Man, I even danced Lorenz so he could reach Acheron and no unique dialogue.

Lysithea is dumb. She one-shotted Ladislava.

Sometimes I think I forget just how hot Claude is.

RIP Ferdinand. At least his dialogue didn't make me feel guilty like Ashe or Ingrid did. His motivation was just inflating his own ego and his petty one-sided rivalry with Edelgard. He grows into a better person if he's recruited.

It's funny the last man standing was the Lorenz replacement lol.

Lorenz was my MVP, seems fitting.

Azure Moon

Alright, so a few people seemed hyped to see my chapter 16 reactions, and nothing worth hyping happened in the other routes (sans killing Rodrigue and Ingrid, but I've already made my feelings known about that). So it's got to be something in AM, but I kind of expected that.

Why does Rodrigue get dialogue, but I don't get to use him as a unit 😔

My AM gameplay every. single. time. Have Dimitri draw as much aggro as possible. End turn.

OMG.

😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE'S BACK.

OMG, Dimitri knows he's alive now. I can't.

OMG he got so hot. That hairstyle is much improvement. And those scars. And he's so tall. I forgot just how tall he is.

OMG he's going to be in the Monastery again. I'm spending every single fricken Professor Point tea timing him.

And all his supports. I finally get to see his A supports. 😭😭

He's got new quotes and everything 😭😭

Dimitri and Dedue fighting side-by-side again. 😭😭

It's been like since December when I last saw Dedue. 😭😭

And his first level up got like 6 points, including speed!

His "I will Break You!" quote is INTENSE.

Oh, right, Lorenz. I'll try to kill him with Byleth. Should be easy. My AM!Byleth is a pegasus knight so.

Lorenz's battle quote is so much more polite than Ferdinand's. I know I want to do a "kill em all" but I just can't after hearing Lorenz say that.

I am DYING to see what Dimitri and Dedue's dialogue is, but it's 12:13am, and I still haven't showered, and I gotta get up at 6am for work 😭😭

OMG lol looking at these. Everything else is so organized and AM's is just crying emojis and Dedue gushing.

#StanDedue 😭😭

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[firemblem-fics]

Running With the Wolves [3]

<< | >>

-> Pairing: Yuri Leclarc x Fem!Reader

-> Modern!Au | Gang!Au | Enemies to Friends to Lovers

-> Word Count: ~2.4k

-> Warnings: Violence, Blood, Intense Scenes, Alcohol Mention, Someone legit gets shot, Other things I probably forgot about

-> Summary: You were just a normal college student, trying to find her way in a new place. You didn't mean to get caught up in the wrong crowd. You just wanted coffee, but now you're running with the wolves.

-> A/N: hi i’m back hello this took me a little bit to do because after the action scene i simply lost motivation but it’s back i know what i want to do and i WILL do it. also, just an fyi, i, as a writer, do not condone anything that my character, Hiram Chapelle, says or does. Hiram is meant to be an ass and for gods sake he’s quite literally a psychopath. That’s how he’s written. I’m just saying for future reference because Hiram is a shitty person and I plan on keeping him that way LOL

send an ask if you’d like to be on the taglist!

If someone had told you, months ago, that when you moved to Fodlan, you’d be accidentally caught up in gang activity, you’d laugh in their faces.

What a silly notion, You’d nearly cry out of laughter, Fodlan is safe. Nothing happens there.

What a fool you were. Everything was too easy. Life was too simple for there not to be a catch. That’s the funny thing about the universe and her strange ways. There’s always a catch.

Your mother had said that God always tests you. That you’d know in hard times, He was just challenging you. The only thing you knew at this moment was that if God really was real, you’d like to have a few choice words with him.

Your test was only getting more difficult with each step you took. Each limp, actually. The frigid night air numbed nearly every part of your body, except for your ankle. Instead, it burned with a fiery intensity. Your shoe was tight enough to prevent a bit of the swelling, but you needed medical attention soon.

You laughed bitterly- you’d been saying that you needed help for a while now. Your arm, your ankle, and now probably a therapist. Physical and mental help were on your to-do list.

Biting back another shiver, you fumbled with your phone. The screen was black, only showing a little red battery in the middle of it. Dead.

The window you’d jumped through was in the back of the house, facing a patch of woods. In your rush, you didn’t think to run another way to get out, only pushing forward until you had no clue where you’d come from and where to go. Everything was forest. Everything was dark.

Until it wasn’t.

A flash of light shined from behind you and you gasped, running to your left and trying to hide behind a larger tree. The flashlights came closer and you held your breath.

“What doesn’t she fucking understand about you can’t leave?”

“Well, boss, you were a little rude about it-“

“She’s in danger! And she doesn’t even realize it- the seriousness of this situation. I don’t care if I’m rude or not, she’s risking her own life being this stupid.”

You resisted the urge to scoff. Yuri was definitely a rude individual from what you’ve interacted with, but of course he didn’t care.

The lights were getting even closer now. You stepped back and started to run again, ignoring the pain. You’d get help when you were safe. You tried to stay light on your feet, but couldn’t help but crush the fallen leaves under your feet as you ran.

“I hear something that way!” Constance shouted and every light flashed in your direction before the group began chasing after you.

Your heart caught in your throat as you willed your legs to work faster and faster. You’d be okay- you’ll get help when you’re safe. Lungs burning, you surged forwards still and tried to take different turns to make them lose your trail. It didn’t work.

“Y/N, stop!” Hapi yelled out.

You didn’t answer, still running. Suddenly, you were airborne. Your feet flew off the ground and you landed two feet in front of a tree root, sticking up from the ground. You were hyperventilating- they had caught up with you.

Before they could reach you, Yuri also stumbled over the root. His flashlight and handgun both flew out of his hands, skidding to a stop in a puddle of mud in front of you. You lurched forward, grabbing the gun and pointing it at the group. It was just Balthus, Hapi, Constance, and Yuri, but you still felt helpless. They could easily overpower you, but you weren’t giving up without a fight.

“Stay back!” You cried, your finger sitting shakily on the trigger, “Don’t come any closer!”

Hapi put her hands up. “We don’t want to hurt you- we want to keep you safe!”

“Keep me safe? By making me some bad guy in a gang that I never even asked to be a part of?”

Yuri scoffed and tried to step closer, but you quickly aimed the gun at him. “You think we did?”

“No more. Don’t come close, I’m warning you.” You could only utter a few words.

The leader of the Wolves ignored this, putting his hands out in front of him, “Drop the gun and this will be okay-“

“STAY AWAY!” You were screaming at this point. Everyone tried to shush you, but you couldn’t stop. Hysteria did such cruel things.

“Y/N-“

“NO!”

You closed your eyes and pulled the trigger, your arm injury hurting slightly from the recoil. Constance yelled out, grabbing onto Yuri, who seemed to fall in slow motion. Your head was spinning. Stars seemed to twinkle in the trees and bushes in front of you instead of staying in the sky like they should.

You swayed for a moment, watching the three try to help their leader. Blood seeped out of the right side of his abdomen. You tried to stay awake, but soon the gun fell out of your hand and you went limp beside it.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Your mind was awake before your body. You could feel the velvet sheets beneath your fingertips and smell the comforting french vanilla aroma that wafted through the Wolves’s house. It was warm- almost too warm for your comfort. Or maybe it was the fever you were running from stress.

You tried to smack your lips together, cringing when the inside of your mouth resembled that of a desert. You needed water.

Peeling your eyes open, you groaned. The lamp beside the bed was too bright, contrasting greatly against the still-dark sky. How long were you out?

You sat up on the bed, feeling sore, but brushed it off and trudged towards the door. You opened it and headed towards the stairs when you heard voices in a room across from you, two doors down.

“She’s already caused too much harm. I say we let her go and let natural selection take its course.”

You scoffed. Typical Hiram- rude ass.

“No- no. We brought her into this, the universe has basically ordered us to keep her safe. If any Eagles see her on the street, she’s done for.” Hapi reasoned.

“That might be a good thing-“

“Hiram-“

“She shot Yuri! He’s not waking up because of her!”

The silence that followed his outburst made your heart clench. You didn’t mean to actually hit him- you just meant it as a warning shot. Hell, you didn’t even know your aim was that good.

“He’s going to be fine. In the meantime, we need to contact Claude or Dimitri and see what’s happening.”

Claude? Claude, the boy at the pizza shop? You rolled your eyes. Of course he’d be a part of this- whatever this is.

“What if they’re siding with her?” Constance asked worriedly.

“Trust me, if it’s anything that Claude’s against, it’s an imbalance of power. As for Dimitri, I’m not sure.”

Your hands began to shake again and you blinked rapidly, trying to push away the looming realization that no, this wasn’t a joke, and yes, these college kids are in a fucking gang. You supposed a part of you didn’t want to believe it until now, but it crashed onto you like a bag of bricks.

These people have hurt others. Killed them. You hurt someone too- you shot a man. A man who apparently is trying to keep you safe.

Continuing to blink, this time biting back tears, you walked down the stairs into the kitchen. Grabbing a glass from the counter, you filled it up in the sink and began chugging.

One glass.

Two.

Maybe if it was alcohol, you’d feel a little better. But it wasn’t. And you didn’t.

More footsteps resounded from the stairs, making their way through the living room and into the kitchen. Hapi entered first, followed by the other four. She gave you a tight smile, choosing to mess with some papers that still rested on the kitchen table.

The papers were frenzied and unorganized- they must have really rushed out once they realized that you’d left.

Hiram walked past and bumped your shoulder rather harshly, making you spill your third glass of water down the front of your shirt. You hissed, wanting nothing more than to yank out those snowy locks of his, but he was definitely armed and no doubt dangerous. You valued your life a little too much to mess with the little man.

Eventually, the group sat down at the table and Hapi patted her hand on the wood, pointing to the empty chair across from her. “Please, Y/N, sit.”

You did so, awkwardly, clasping your hands and putting them in your lap. You didn’t want to look up, already feeling the five intense stares burn into your form.

“It seems our first little talk wasn’t as… effective as it needed to be.” The redheaded girl began. “You were seen with us in the cafe when Edelgard attacked. You let your mouth run, disrespecting her. And I can assure you right now, that the Eagles have all the details on you. Especially since one of their own seemed to recognize you. Like it or not, you’re in this now.”

Hiram snorted, leaning back on his chair and nonchalantly checking his nails. “You’re stuck with this, toots. If you didn’t want to be, you should’ve stuck behind everyone like a good little coward and let the big dogs fight over the bone. You could’ve easily been seen as a citizen and an innocent bystander, but no. Something in you said ‘hey, let’s be a bitch to these people who suddenly barged in here with guns’. If I didn’t know any better, it would seem to me like you were practically,” He leaned forward, his icy eyes boring into your own, “asking for it.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, but still kept shut. He wasn’t necessarily wrong, you could’ve easily decided to let the obviously-more-experienced people deal with it, but in your defense, you didn’t know at the time! You didn’t even think your 5 second long conversation with this Edelgard chick was as negative as they made it out to be.

Crossing your arms, you willed your face to remain stoic. “I just don’t see why she’d have it out for me. I didn’t even do anything that bad.”

“Look, look at my face.” Hiram pointed to the bridge of his nose, where a deep, pale pink scar contrasted against his skin. “Rhys and I used to be… involved with them. Her little lap dog- Ferdinand- did this. Because I made some ill-timed joke.”

You couldn’t help but glance over at Rhys, whose eyes had darkened at the mention of his past. The mention of Ferdinand’s name and his affiliation with the Eagles made you wonder about everyone’s past- how exactly did all of these people get involved with such a deadly life? You didn’t have much time to dwell on it before Balthus spoke up.

“Listen, little one, just stay here and chill out until we can a hundred percent confirm that the Eagles aren’t associating you with us. If they’re not, you’re free to go.”

“And if I am?”

“We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

Everyone at the table gasped and turned around to the kitchen entrance, where the strained voice had come from. Yuri was leaned up against the door frame, holding onto his side still. His torso was bare, but the skin was covered by bandages and gauze.

The Wolves shot up out of their seats, rushing over to their leader.

“Yuri!”

“Why are you up?”

“You need rest.”

Yuri just chuckled at them, hiding a wince as his stomach contracted with the laugh. “I’m fine, I’m fine, everything’s cool. Not the first time.”

You still sat at the table, watching as they helped him sit in his place at the head before going back to their own seats. The Wolves really seemed to care about each other, you noticed, and felt a small pang of guilt for causing them so many problems already.

“So, Yuri-Bird, I was explaining to everyone earlier that our best choice of action is to contact Dimitri and Claude and see what’s happening in their little sectors of the world.” Hapi folded her hands on the table, “I know with about a 90% certainty that Claude will be against whatever Edelgard’s doing. Dimitri, I’m not so sure.”

Yuri nodded, taking in the information. “We need stronger people going to Dimitri, then, just in case he sided with her.”

“Which is why I decided that it would be best for all of us to go together. Dimitri has that one assassin with him- the Black Cat or whatever his alias is.”

“It’s Felix. I wouldn't forget the name of such a hunk of a man.” Hiram practically swooned.

Hapi rolled her eyes. “...Right. So, we start with Claude and then move on to Dimitri.”

Rhys raised his hand for a moment, making Hiram shush everyone. He said nothing, only jutting a thumb at you as if asking ‘what do we do about this chick?’ The room was quiet for a moment, then Constance clapped her hands together.

“She can stay and take care of Yuri!”

“What?” You and the previously mentioned man cried out.

He turned and glared at you. “You lot are going to entrust my healing to the same bitch that shot me? No. I’m coming with you all.”

Balthus shook his head. “She’s right, Boss. You could barely walk down here. You need to rest before you get back in the game.”

“Yeah,” Hiram began to laugh, “I’m sure Miss Girl will fix you right up. Maybe she’s better at caretaking than she is running away.”

You returned Yuri’s glare, but quickly switched it to Hiram. He lost his smile and quirked up an eyebrow, as if challenging you to say something. You didn’t.

“We leave tomorrow morning at 8 o’clock. Yuri, you sleep in. Y/N, be up early to change his bandages.”

Hapi stood and stretched, letting out a large yawn before walking out of the kitchen.

The rest of the group followed, Yuri lagging behind as Balthus helped him walk. His lavender eyes pierced into you, obviously extremely angry at you. You shuddered. You absolutely did not want to be alone with him tomorrow.

Dreading morning, you went to your room and tucked yourself back under the velvet sheets, watching the hall light turn off and listening to Hiram’s annoying voice echo throughout the walls.

“Goodnight y’all! Sweet dreams- except for the Princess, of course.”

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taglist: @fairyblue-alchemist @emperor-pizza @flavoredmilktea @sadies-stories-n-things @blviddyd @laurexlance @atomicchocolatecookie @mapesandoval @local-goth-lilz 

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[ellana-ravenwood]

Batfam and friends after dentist

I just remembered this video : clickclickclick, and this happened. Please, don’t take it too seriously it’s just a fun little joke post haha. I hope you’ll still enjoy it a little nonetheless ^^. Here we are, the Batfam and friends, after dentist :

DICK

Dick : “Turns out my dentist is not giving me a plaque for great teeth after all. He really hurt my fillings.” Makes all the WORST pun you can think about, to calm his nerve, as he’s about to go to surgery to take his wisdom teeth out. Bruce is there, for support. Of course, he’d be there for his son. Dick wakes up, the surgery went GREAT. He looks around, a little groggy, looks at his dad, and...Starts to rap absolute nonsense, as if his life depended on it : 

“I'm feeling the rainbow like skittles

dropping reptars like my name was tommy pickles

for rizzle, thats drizzle?

nah my nizzle, thats the shizzle”

Asks Bruce to buy him a “big ass gold chain” and if the dentist could transplant silver teeth on him now, “while we’re at it”. Bruce is able to reason with him and convinces him that sure, he’ll buy him the gold chain he wants, but he should wait for the teeth because his mouth is still too numb and such. Dick agrees that it sounds sensible, but does not drop the subject of him becoming a successful rapper. On the way back to the Manor, they stop to buy a gold chain, because Bruce cannot resists when his kids give him the “puppy eyes”. Dick choses the ugliest biggest thing in the entire shop. It says “bling bling” on it, has a few shiny diamonds, and is about twice the size of his head. He looks at it as if it was the best thing on earth while on the ride home. The drugs start to wear off but as a result he’s super tired again, he goes to sleep...Wakes up with that ugly chain, wondering what the hell happened. 

JASON

Woke up after wisdom teeth removal. Got pissed because he really wanted Coca Cola but there was only Pepsi. Proceeded to tell Bruce that him bringing Pepsi back instead of Coke was worst than when he didn’t kill the Joker to avenge his death (queue Bruce nervously looking at the nurses, and really insisting on how funny people who just got their wisdom teeth removed could be). After the Pepsi/Coke debacle claimed he has 9 children (Bruce’s influence for sure hahaha). Apollo and Jean-Claude being his favorite two. Proceeded to cry because he admitted he had favorite children, and thought it was horrible to choose a favorite. Apologized to “his” kids that were definitely not there and talked about how his dad (pointing at Bruce), never had favorites. Bruce is touched. Until Jason remembers the Pepsi incident and tries to escape the room by jumping out of the window to go pouting alone somewhere. Queue a ridiculous struggle between Bruce and his son, as Jason, still quite limped and out of it because of the sleeping drugs, resists as best as he can while his dad drags him to the car to go home, trying to be as gentle as possible because he doesn’t want to hurt Jason’s mouth. Just to be sure, Bruce stops on the way to buy a bunch of coke bottles... 

TIM

After waking up from getting his wisdom teeth removed, sitting in a wheelchair because he can’t stand yet (Tim is very resistant to anesthetic, and they had to give him more than usual for it to work), telling to Bruce who’s wheeling him back to the car, in a very dramatic way : “Lady, I thank you for your help. You have to release me back to the ocean now. My time on land, is over.”

Bruce, not sure he quite understood : “...What was that, chum ?” 

Tim : “I said please m’am, get me back to my people. They need me.” 

Then the boy proceeds to stick both his legs up, and move them as if he was a mermaid, making “woosh” sounds with his mouth as if he was splashing water around. Bruce doesn’t even try to reason with him (he remembers how it was impossible to do so with Jason and his Coke, or with Dick who really thought he was a rapper), so he goes along with it, talking about Tim’s “people” and why he can’t stay on land. Queue a dramatic full of adventure stories where he was taken away from his land and...and Bruce realizes the boy is kinda telling Aquaman’s story (that he probably learned by hacking into Batman’s secret files he has on everyone). He seems to really believe it...When they get back home, Tim is suspicious because there is no ocean, but his dad convinces him that the pool is said ocean, and Tim solemnly say “good bye” to Bruce, before dipping into the water. Of course, Bruce keeps an eye on him, because in the state he is there might be accidents, but Tim just lays there, on his back, floating around and mumbling about fish species he knows. Eventually, the cold water gets to him and he finally comes back to his senses. Bruce helps him out of the pool, and Tim goes to sleep, wrapped in blankets, holding his dad’s hand. 

CASSANDRA

She had to have a rather heavy mouth surgery after an accident, and woke up ,slowly, in a hospital bed. Bruce was there of course, waiting patiently, worried, and hoping she’d wake up soon. It was nerve wracking to wait for your child to be better ! When she does wake up, she doesn’t even look lost or anything, although the surgeon told Bruce that she was probably gonna be feeling a little hazy and such. So the fact she seems totally fine reassures her dad. And then suddenly she throws her blanket off of her, stands up so fast that Bruce’s brain doesn’t have time to react, and walks to the nearest fire alarm. She looks at Bruce straight in the eyes, pull the alarm, and just says : 

“Shit’s fire.” 

DAMIAN

He had to have a minor surgery on his jaw, but was still put under anesthetic. Bruce, having witnessed his other kids under it, is ready to have a good laugh...But his boy is just sitting there, waiting for his father to fill in some paperwork and pay for the surgery. Yeah sure, it’s a little weird that he keeps petting his tongue but, ya know, maybe he’s feeling weird because his entire mouth is numb. Then Bruce is done with paperworks and such, and goes to Damian, who proceeds to tell him he got “a ‘ew ‘at” (a new cat)...

“Um. Really, champ ? Uuuh...Where is it ?” ----> Bruce playing along. And then Damian looks at him and breaks into a huge goofy smile and says : “’Ight ‘ere.” (Right here) Showing the tongue he has been petting for the past twenty minutes. Damian then tells to whoever goes by that he has a new cat and asks them if they want to pet him. Bruce takes him home, laughing to himself all the way, and promises a Damian who came back to his senses that this little story will indeed stay between them. 

BRUCE 

Not actually him after dentist, but something I thought about a lot :

Dentist : “Mister Wayne, do you grind your teeth ?” 

Bruce : “Yes. Have you seen how many children I have ?” 

Also, he waits the last minute before having to urgently remove his wisdom teeth, because the big bad bat is...afraid of the dentist. Alfred has to go with him. Bruce makes sure all the kids are busy this day, to their great disappointment...Alfred takes a lot of video for them (because it’s unfair he got to see them all floozy and they didn’t). The kids make a montage of it and post it on YouTube, as well as on instagram stories, calling it : “Is Bruce Wayne ok ?”, and it’s like a bunch of short images of what Bruce did after his surgery, still under the anesthetic’s influence. Him crying, him laughing like a mad man the second after, him hugging a pillow shaped like a tooth and refusing to let go because he thinks it’s the one they took out of his mouth, blabbering nonsense, asking for a “taco milkshake” etc etc...Of course, video went viral. 

ALFRED 

Has apparently nothing wrong with him, which is infuriating to the family who was really expecting him to have something that they could eventually use against him. Since he “raised” most of the them, he has way too much leverage against them, and they have way too little. But he’s just normal, and it’s so annoying. 

Up until they come home, and he goes in the kitchen, ignores Bruce telling him that he needs to get some rest, and proceeds to whip a five course meal, making the weirdest combination ever...Porridge and Turkey ? Saurkraut in an Enchilada ? Salt and Vinegar chips in a smoothie ?

STEPHANIE

Bruce picks her up after her wisdom teeth removal (it’sjusttheeasythinghaha), along with Tim, and she has that dreamy look in her eyes. Tim asks her if she’s alright, and she’s like : 

“The dentist said I need a crown.” 

Tim and Bruce are a little perplex, like, this doesn’t sound nice ? But then Steph looks at them and just says : 

“I said, I KNOW RIGHT ?! Guys. I’m going to be a queen.” 

Queue Bruce and Tim smiling, and Steph mumbling something about how one day, she’ll be the boss of them haha. 

DUKE

Of course, Bruce went with Duke because...Well, he unfortunately has no one else :/. And when you have any sort of surgery, it’s nice to have someone you trust with you. So. Anyway. Surgery goes on, and Duke wakes up after a few hours, a little out of it. He looks at Bruce, smiles and is like : “Hiii Brush !” while laughing a little to himself. Which makes B smile too, but then he gets worried because all of a sudden, Duke freezes, and stares at the nurse. Then after a few seconds he’s whispering to Bruce : 

“Hey, hey, why didn’t you tell me that Céline Dion was my nurse ?” 

Evidently, Bruce is confused. Duke then proceeds to admit his biggest guilty pleasure is to blast Céline Dion’s songs when he’s alone. Gushes over that nurse that looks NOTHING like Céline Dion, but he’s SURE it’s her. He blushes and is embarassed because he’s such a fan ! But then finally asks for an autograph, sings her songs badly (even worst with all the gauze in his mouth), and leaves the room, holding onto Bruce, with tears in his eyes because man...he just met Céline Dion ! 

BARBARA

Wakes up from having her wisdom teeth removed, crying, admitting that she killed the president...Which one ? Martin Van Buren of course. Spends the next few minutes crying about how she’s a disgrace to her family because she killed someone and HER DAD IS A COP !! Starts to sing : “Mammmaaaaaaaa, I killed a maaaaaaan” while still crying. But then suddenly is sure that she actually got framed, and becomes super suspicious of everyone, everything culminating when Dick comes to pick her up to bring her home and she thinks he’s the one that is “blackmailing” her, so she takes a run for it...Dick gets Barbara back to her place with a black eye, saying “I don’t want to talk about it” to Commissioner Gordon. Haha. 

LUCAS FOX :

As the dentists says : “I need to put some bitewings in your mouth for the X-rays ok ?”

Luke Fox : “Bat...wing ? Oh. OH ! BATWING !” Hahahaha (could also work with David of course). 

************

Ok done. Again, nothing to take too seriously, it’s obviously just a few little jokes :). Wanted to share nonetheless, I like writing “domestic” lighthearted Batfam stuffs...haha ^^' .

Ah and yeah I know some members of the Batfam extended family (it’s pretty big now) are missing, but I guess it just means I’ll make another post about it hehe. So please, don’t give me too much grief about those I “forgot”, it was getting too long ^^. 

[houseisekai]

House Isekai: A Realm Reborn - Part 2, Through the Maelstrom (3 of 3)

House Isekai ARR Masterlist Here

—

Client: Hilda Valentin Goneril

Refusing to work with the newly reformed House Isekai due to Class VII, Duvalie takes her orders and storms off to Goneril territory, trying to get home faster. Not wanting to leave Duvalie completely alone, Raelyn and Fireteam Alpha-Nine accompany her.

Reports indicate of a giant serpent-like beast terrorizing the ocean trade routes near Goneril territory, and an unknown entity accompanying it…

--

[Respite and Sunlight - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]

The carriage carried a group of knights as it made its way towards the fishing town.

As the horses leisurely drew the carriage forth, the dirt kicking up on the path, the driver turned his head and shouted out.

(Driver) "We're almost there, milady."

Hilda sighed as she stretched, putting her head back onto the carriage.

(Hilda) "Finally. That took forever."

She looked around and noticed the two knights accompanying her were calmly sitting still, not saying a word.

(Hilda) "Am I seriously the only one who noticed?!"

(Knight 1) "No milady, we feel the same. Now isn't the time to be lax, however."

(Hilda) "Percy, I remember you being the one telling me that this town wasn't anything to be concerned about!"

(Knight 2) "It was, until that letter came in. We only put the request out three days ago, how could mercenaries possibly have responded that fast? And I do not like the descriptions of them either..."

(Percy) "I agree with Jonas. Tech that looks too advanced for random mercenaries to have? This seems like it's a trap..."

(Hilda) "I sincerely doubt the Separatists would cause any trouble for the Alliance. And what strategic importance would a fishing town like this have?"

(Jonas) "I think that's all the more reason to be wary, milady. Besides, orders from Lord Holst were specifically to-"

(Hilda) "Yeah yeah, I know, make sure I'm safe and everything. It's when we get out to the ocean, you guys can start doing your jobs properly."

Jonas looked at Percy, in which his response was just a shrug.

(Percy) "Hmph. I wonder what those mercenaries are like..."

...

Duvalie woke up and quickly looked around before her shoulders relaxed. They were still inside the building the Class VII members led them to.

Duvalie noticed the ODST's were already awake.

Dutch was near the window, looking at the small blue device curiously.

(Dutch) "Hell is this thing?"

It was making a small static noise, Dutch poked at it until Mickey came close and examined it himself.

(Mickey) "Looks like a jamming device of some kind."

(Buck) "Yeah, it's messing with my helmet's visor a little. You think a fishing town like this would have something that'd warrant a jammer?"

(Romeo) "Oh, you're finally awake."

The ODST's turned to Duvalie who picked up her sword and shield.

(Duvalie) "No one bothered to wake me up?"

(Mickey) "Hey, Fie's orders. Not ours."

Duvalie rolled her eyes and noticed Raelyn and Class VII were gone.

(Buck) "They said they were going out to patrol the area, wanted us to stay in here in case someone tried snooping around."

(Duvalie) "Guess that's fair enough."

Duvalie stood next to Buck, both of them not saying a word while Romeo cleaned his sniper and Mickey and Dutch were still examining the supposed jammer.

(Buck) "So...what exactly is your problem with those kids? If you don't mind me asking."

(Duvalie) "Ugh, we were enemies during a war, then we fought alongside each other and thats IT. Don't wanna talk about it. And we're NOT friends."

(Buck) "Alright, I believe ya. Dunno why you have to say it so forcefully."

(Duvalie) "Because it doesn't go through THEIR thick skulls! I DON'T LIKE REAN EITHER!"

(Buck) "Listen, Duvalie. I am right next to you. Stop frickin' screaming."

(Dutch) "Plus, you're making it harder to figure out what this is."

Duvalie and Buck turned to Mickey and Dutch who were still staring.

(Duvalie) "What in the hell is so fascinating about it that you two are still looking at it?!"

(Mickey) "Because, I don't think it's just a jammer. It's something else..."

That caught everyone's attention.

(Romeo) "...What makes you say that?"

(Dutch) "It's making some static noise, and it's sticky too. What kind of jammer is this small?"

(Duvalie) "Huh. I don't think we had anything like that in our world, so where did those brats...?"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

(Raelyn's voice) "We have returned."

The door opened with the members of Class VII and Raelyn.

(Fie) "Coast looks clear, and looks like we already got someone to help out with the Serpent problem."

(Buck) "Damn, that was fast."

(Raelyn) "I recommend we hurry, lest we make the townsfolk angry again."

Everyone grabbed their equipment and left the house, Class VII leading the way.

(Mickey) "Hey, so those blue things you put in the house, what exactly are those?"

(Laura) "It's best we not say just yet."

(Dutch) "That's...reassuring."

(Elliot) "Anyways, we visited the tavern from yesterday and he said someone wants to see us there."

(Fie) "And you can leave your weapons down, it won't be a fight."

(Duvalie) "What makes you say that?"

As they were walking to the tavern, Hilda and her two knights exited and saw them.

[Musica Universalis - Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers OST]

(Hilda) "Oh my gosh!"

(Elliot) "Ha, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

(Laura) "It's been quite a bit hasn't it, Hilda?"

(Fie) "Yo."

Hilda smiled as she ran up and grabbed all three of them into a hug.

(Hilda) "It's so good to see you guys again!"

(Percy) "Hey...you were with the professor when you came to Derdriu all those years back!"

(Jonas) "Don't think we've seen their friends though."

Hilda noticed the new group behind Class VII and raised an eyebrow.

(Hilda) "These your friends?"

(Raelyn) "Raelyn Amuto, at your service."

(Duvalie) "...Duvalie."

(Buck) "Call me Buck. Squad behind me is Mickey, Dutch, and Romeo."

(Elliot) "Hopefully, we just got here super recently ourselves. Though, Rean and the others can watch over them."

(Hilda) "Wait, everyone else is here?"

(Raelyn) "Not exactly."

Raelyn quickly caught Hilda and her knights up to speed.

(Hilda) "I see...So it's happening again?"

(Laura) "That's what we're here to investigate. Originally we came here to see what was blocking communications from Sitri to us, and find out what teleported this group here."

(Elliot) "After a day of investigating, we think it may actually have to do with the serpent problem you're having."

(Buck) "Huh, isn't that convenient."

(Duvalie) "When exactly did this problem pop up anyway? We only got here three days ago."

(Hilda) "Hm...I think it was about a week ago. Same time Claude let us know something was coming from the Tower, actually."

(Romeo) "...Too convenient."

[Briefing Time - Trails of Cold Steel 3 OST]

(Raelyn) "It seems to line up with our arrival. Has there been anything in the past House Isekai and your Houses have fought that can cause this amount of trouble?"

(Hilda) "Too much to count..."

(Laura) "It wouldn't be the first time for us."

(Fie) "I think we can kill two birds with one stone here then. We can investigate that Serpent and determine if it has anything to do with our problems."

(Hilda) "Sounds good to me."

(Dutch) "So...how exactly are we going to fight a giant water monster? Our gear isn't equipped for aquatic fights."

(Percy) "We have that taken care of. We're going to use a boat and investigate it the old fashioned way."

(Duvalie) "...That is the worst idea I've ever heard."

(Buck) "Inclined to agree with the lady. That seems a good way for our asses to get eaten out there."

(Elliot) "I'm kinda drawing a blank on what else to do. It's not like they have any high tech boats."

(Jonas) "Unfortunately, he's right. All of our efforts on expanding our sea travel has been fruitless, or its too early to tell. It only has been two years before we began these projects."

(Raelyn) "Us Space Marines are engineered to breathe underwater."

(Romeo) "Damn, is there anything you guys can't do?"

(Raelyn) "Have good luck."

(Duvalie) "Was that a joke?"

Raelyn's head slowly turned to Duvalie.

(Raelyn) "It is the last thing I would joke about. You all being near me already carries a risk of a violent death, including myself."

(Dutch) "What, your gun malfunction on you in battle a lot or something?"

(Raelyn) "It is a curse our Chapter seems to suffer. For one reason or another, something unfortunate happens, and I guarantee you it will happen when we attempt to hunt this beast."

(Hilda) "Jeez, quit that downer talk, we'll be fine! We've survived plenty worse than just some monster. Heck, it's not even our first monster we've fought!"

(Laura) "If that is the case, where is this boat?"

(Percy) "This way."

Percy and Jonas led the way to the docks, everyone following them.

Fie looked behind them and saw a small boy and girl staring at them. Specifically Raelyn.

She noticed an older girl walk up to them, she couldn't be older than 15. Fie put a mental pin on them and quickly followed along.

The older girl knelt down to get on their eye level.

(Older girl) "Hey, why are you staring at them so intensely, they didn't say something to you, did they?"

(Young girl) "Nuh uh, Mila! The big yellow man was super nice!"

(Young boy) "Yeah, he helped her out and everything!"

Mila had short brown hair and a small stature, carrying two daggers on her back.

(Mila) "Did he now...?"

...

The group took an Alliance controlled ship out into the coast, being helmed by the local garrison.

They set out to the last known location to where this Serpent had been reported, which fortunately was only an hour away from the town.

The day was bright and the winds were strong, and not a cloud in sight.

They skipped across the waters with relatively little trouble.

Hilda stood next to Class VII while everyone else was scattered.

(Elliot) "Man, I can't remember the last time we've been out by the sea."

(Laura) "A shame it wasn't for a more pleasant reason."

(Fie) "Oh, hey Buck."

Buck walked up to Hilda, followed by Raelyn and Duvalie.

(Buck) "Mind if we ask you something, miss Hilda?"

(Hilda) "What's up?"

(Buck) "Who exactly are these Separatists your townsfolk are so quick to anger about? An insurrection?"

(Laura) "I remember hearing about it while we were investigating the area as well."

Hilda frowned and looked back out to the sea.

(Hilda) "After House Isekai left Fodlan, our three nations decided to form a temporary pact in order to fix the damages done by Those Who Slither and the Church. It...hasn't been easy.

For the first two years, the Empire and Kingdom were at war, until it suddenly stopped with the Church to be the ones on the offensive.

The Battle of Gronder had all our blood shed, and its nothing that everyone can easily forgive with how recent it was.

So when news that we'd all be fighting as one, it made our citizens outraged. The only people who knew the truth about Zanado and Byleth was our militaries..."

(Elliot) "So, these Separatists...-"

(Hilda) "They've been wanting us to split up and leave each other be, just like it's always been. The Alliance has a mixture of Imperial and Kingdom Separatists, and Claude has been doing his best to keep the neutrality. It hasn't been easy, in addition to the Zanado Tower acting up again."

(Raelyn) "Which is why you sent this letter of the Serpent to Garreg Mach, correct?"

Hilda nodded.

(Hilda) "And if it requires House Isekai's help again, I fear the worst..."

(Laura) "Rest assured, we will do everything in our power to help Fodlan."

(Buck) "Not sure how long we'll be staying but, might as well. It's either that or be stuck here."

(Duvalie) "Wait a second, if you guys were stuck here before and got out, then how did you get in?"

(Fie) "Teleportation with the help of the Doom Slayer."

(Hilda) "Wait, he was the one that set you guys up with that?!"

(Raelyn) "I am not sure who he is, but perhaps he can teleport us out of here."

(Buck) "With how troublesome everything sounds, I sort of doubt it'd be that easy to get out of here."

(Fie) "Only one way to try."

Fie reached out a small crest of House Isekai's logo and pressed the center.

...Nothing happened.

(Fie) "Uh oh."

(Duvalie) "W-What does that mean?"

(Elliot) "Huh? That's how we were able to teleport from our world to the base! Why isn't it working?"

(Hilda) "Does that mean you're stuck here too?"

(Buck) "Well, that's fantastic..."

Dutch, Mickey, and Romeo were listening into the conversation.

(Dutch) "They got Insurrectionists to deal with too?"

(Romeo) "Great, that means we'll be here even longer."

(Mickey) "Their teleportation isn't working, so what is the cause of-"

(Percy) "Hey, we need everyone up here!"

[Dark Clouds Gather - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]

The groups looked up and went to the top deck where the wheel was. Percy and Jonas stood near the captain.

(Hilda) "What's the problem?"

(Jonas) "The skies in front of us are suddenly starting to darken."

(Captain) "The weather the way it was, this was too fast for it to suddenly darken! Something's about to happen!"

(Buck) "...Motion tracker's picking up something!"

The ODST's turned on their visors, blocking out their faces while Raelyn silently looked at his tactical display.

(Raelyn) "I am detecting something as well."

(Romeo) "Hey, remember that conversation about your luck from earlier? Suddenly beginning to believe it..."

Everyone drew their weapons as the crew of the ship shouted, readying cannons and bows.

Hilda drew out her relic axe and looked in the water.

(Hilda) "Where exactly are you sensing this thing?"

The ODST's had their weapons drawn, slowly looking to their left. The movement was quickly circling around them.

(Elliot) "U-Um, how big is this Serpent, exactly?"

(Percy) "Not sure, reports are inconsistent."

(Raelyn) "If it is as big as we expect it to be, what's stopping it from tearing this boat in half?"

Raelyn readied his Bolter and quickly turned around to the back of the ship, finally seeing a shadow.

(Buck) "ON OUR SIX!"

Only the ODST's and Raelyn turned to the back at first.

It took everyone else a second to realize what Buck meant, turning around and facing the same direction.

[Wreck to the Seaman - Final Fantasy XIV OST]

The shadow quickly vanished underneath the ship, making everyone nervous of what its about to do.

The ODST's and Raelyn paid attention to their motion tracker, and realized it was suddenly in place.

(Romeo) "Why the hell's it stopping?"

(Raelyn) ...!!! "It's not! CAPTAIN, TURN YOUR SHIP TO THE RIGHT, NOW!"

The captain quickly got on the wheel and steered right, the wind forcing the ship to make a hard right.

From the waters emerged a massive serpent, the water splashing onto the ship and blowing back some of the crew members.

The waves rocked the ship violently, almost tipping it over.

(Elliot) "AGH!"

Elliot lost his footing and was about to go overboard before Dutch grabbed his arm.

(Dutch) "Hang on kid!"

The ship barely managed to balance itself, throwing itself back with a force that made everyone lose footing again.

Duvalie was the first to stabilize herself when she realized the serpent was staring at them.

As the serpent opened its mouth, it was about to strike before Duvalie leapt forward and hit its face with her shield, making it stagger back and roar in anger.

Duvalie used the force of her attack to launch herself back onto the ship, twirling her sword.

(Duvalie) "Little help?!"

(Percy) "FIRE THE CANNONS!"

Crew mates rushed to the cannons and lit the matches.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The cannons opened fire, most of them missing their mark while only one managed to hit the torso of the beast.

Raelyn and the ODSTs rushed to the side and held the triggers of their guns, the bullets rushing towards the head.

The serpent dove underwater to dodge the gunfire.

(Crew) "IT'S COMING AROUND THE OTHER SIDE!"

Its head emerged from the water on the opposite side of the ship, its head about to strike into the heart of the ship before Laura ran to the middle and swung her sword upwards, the blow knocking it away.

Fie used her gunblades to fire at its head as well, but the bullets deflected off the scales and it dove back underwater, this time no one being able to see where it went.

(Buck) "Dutch, Mickey! Heavy weapons, NOW! Romeo, crow's nest and snipe that son of a bitch!"

The ODST's nodded and quickly did as they were told, Raelyn going to Duvalie with his Bolter still raised.

(Duvalie) "Hey, Amuto, got any ideas?"

(Raelyn) "One, but with my luck-"

(Duvalie) "Grr, SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR BAD LUCK! It's either that, or we let the ship get torn in half!"

(Raelyn) "If that is the case, please hold onto this."

(Duvalie) "...Wha-"

Raelyn put his bolter into Duvalie's arm, almost making her tip over from the weight.

(Duvalie) "HUARGH!? H-HEY...W-WHAT TH HELL?!"

(Raelyn) "I will be right back."

Raelyn pulled out a knife and looked over to the side.

(Hilda) "H-Hey, what's the yellow guy doing?!"

(Elliot) "Huh?"

Elliot, Fie and Laura turned around and saw Raelyn peeking over the edge.

(Fie) "What is he...?"

(Laura) ?! "WAIT, ARE YOU GOING TO?!-"

(Raelyn) "BROTHERS, SISTERS! PREPARE FOR ITS RESURFACING!"

[Through the Maelstrom - Final Fantasy XIV OST]

Raelyn hopped over the ship's edge and dove straight into the water.

He quickly looked around, and noticing a shadow emerging from the depths as it was rushing upwards at him.

He did everything in his power to swim away from the ship and-

(Buck) "The hell is he-"

Everyone saw Raelyn shoot upwards as the Serpent's mouth grabbed him, the Space Marine now in its teeth.

Although it tried to devour him, the armor's weight and size made it extremely difficult to do so.

(Elliot) "OH AIDIOS!"

(Percy) "Is he insane?!"

(Romeo) "QUIT STARING AND FIRE DAMN IT!"

Romeo cocked his sniper's handle back and pulled the trigger, the shot ringing out across the air as the bullet attempted to hit the wildly flailing serpent.

Raelyn was being thrashed around, the teeth unable to go through his armor. He swung his knife into the beast several times to no effect despite it piercing the scales.

(Raelyn) "INCOMING!"

Having no option, he grabbed the beast's upper jaw and slammed his fist onto it, the force of the blow knocking the beast's head onto the ship.

The ship almost submerged itself into the water from the sheer weight of the serpent's head.

Everyone managed to keep their footing, letting Duvalie, Hilda, and Laura strike fast.

Duvalie dropped the Bolter and let it slide onto the floor as she stuck her sword into the teeth, breaking a few off and letting Raelyn awkwardly roll out of it's grasp.

Hilda smashed it's skull with her axe overhead, Laura swinging her sword sideways to strike at its mouth.

It recoiled back in pain, tipping the ship over again.

Raelyn was about to get on his feet before the cannons from the right side slid over and hit him back into the water.

(Hilda) "Wow, he wasn't kidding!"

The Bolter slid over into the water and landed near Raelyn, which he quickly grabbed and looked for the serpent again.

It was coming through the other side, but it was only now he realized how huge it was.

The tail was coming near him, and he rushed over to grab it as the tail violently dragged him along the water.

Dutch grabbed a Spartan Laser while Mickey had a rocket launcher, both of them checking their motion trackers.

(Buck) "Right side!"

Romeo reloaded his sniper and quickly spun around, being the first one to see the serpent emerge and fly towards the boat.

(Romeo) "It's gonna ram us!"

(Dutch) "Like hell it is!"

Dutch's Spartan Laser began to form a red line as it whirred up making a high pitched activation noise.

Mickey fired first, the rockets flying off and trying to lock onto the serpent. They went into the water as it nimbly swerved to the left and right, the waters catching the explosion.

Raelyn held on as the water's currents fought against him, using one hand at a time to climb up the serpent until he got near the eyes.

The pupil looked directly at Raelyn and widened, realizing he was there.

Raelyn's hand with the knife stabbed directly into the eye, making the serpent thrust upwards into the air, roaring and shaking into the air.

(Dutch) "GOTCHA!"

With another second passing, the Spartan Laser shot out a force even stronger than the cannon, a burning red beam of death searing through the Serpent's skin, making it drop into the water dead.

(Buck) "Good work, gentlemen."

(Elliot) "Whew, is everyone okay?"

(Percy) "Check on the equipment and for any wounded!"

(Jonas) "Captain, get us closer to the body we need to-"

Jonas stopped midsentence when he looked up.

Percy noticed it and turned around, seeing what he was staring at.

[Blinding Indigo - Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers OST]

"An assassin from our homeland? Or a foolish trespasser upon these waters?"

(Jonas) "What in the hell?!"

(Percy) "SOMETHING'S UP HERE!"

(Buck) "OPEN FIRE!"

Fie and Buck pointed their guns and pulled the triggers, the bullets passing through the aquatic creature's body, letting them drop onto the floor, water splashing from the impact.

"Very well. Then Her power shall crush the miscreant that dares pollute these waters."

The creature began glowing, making the clouds above them start pouring rain and the water glow as well.

The Serpent Raelyn was still attached to started glowing a pale blue, the wound quickly regenerating. He was quick to aim his bolter and open fire on it, but had no effect.

Hilda and Laura ran up to it with their weapons swinging overhead, it quickly teleporting away as it vacantly stared at them.

Elliot was about to cast a spell with his staff until he realized the rain was forming puddles on the ship, slowly bubbling.

(Elliot) "Uh, guys?!"

Birds made of water emerged from the puddles and flew at Elliot, the force of the impact making him fall onto the floor.

Romeo immediately turned his attention to the bird and pulled the trigger.

The bird exploded into water, it calmly splashing down onto the ship.

Hearing something behind him, he reached for his pistol and spun around, pulling the trigger.

The bird exploded, and it was then he realized a puddle was beneath him.

From the puddle emerged a wolf-like creature that leapt up, knocking Romeo off the tower.

Before he could land, Duvalie caught him and set him down to the floor and raising her shield as the wolf leapt on top of her.

Its teeth was made of water as well, but Duvalie didn't want to find out if it hurt just as bad as a real wolf, so she plunged her sword into its body making it explode.

Mickey switched to an SMG and opened fire on the other puddles before anything else could show up, Buck and Fie joining in while Hilda, Laura, Jonas, and Percy fought other wolves.

Dutch was about to switch weapons before hearing the water explode behind him.

The Serpent was glowing the same blue as the winged creature, Raelyn still on top of it, stabbing it with his knife.

(Dutch) "Oh for the love of-"

He aimed his Spartan Laser at the Serpent again, only for the shot to be taken and hitting birds that flew in the way.

Elliot rushed over and healed Romeo of any injuries, making him push away the staff.

(Romeo) "Stop healing me and get to killing these things!"

Romeo reloaded his pistol while Duvalie dispatched of another wolf that was trying to attack from behind.

(Duvalie) "They just keep coming!"

Meanwhile, Raelyn lost count of how many times he stabbed the head of this beast, it would not stop moving.

It tried ferociously to be rid of Raelyn, eventually dunking its head back underwater and using the tail to swipe him off.

Raelyn flipped several times underwater, trying to steady himself as the Serpent bit Raelyn again, this time half his body inside it's mouth.

He said nothing as he remained calm, putting his bolter into the mouth before he was thrown out of the water and into the air.

Raelyn broke through the top deck and landed onto the bottom, creating a massive hole on the top part of the ship.

The Serpent's tail slammed onto the side of the ship as it wrapped its head around to the front deck of the ship.

Dutch aimed the laser at the head, until realizing it was too close to the ship.

(Dutch) "Damn it, I'd just rip this ship apart if I took the shot!"

Fie hopped onto the Serpent's back with both her gunblades anchoring her onto it, making it twitch only a little.

She pulled the triggers several times as the bullets went into its body.

It loosened up its grip on the ship, Laura using her sword to chop off part of the tail, making it roll over and tripping some of the crew and water-formed creatures.

Buck picked off one target after the other, struggling to reload.

A wolf jumped onto him, the teeth scraping against his helmet's visor as he grabbed his knife and plunged it straight into its neck, making it disappear.

As he got up, he noticed that the winged creature only staring at them.

(Buck) "The hell is this thing?!"

Elliot tried to heal any injured crew member he could while Hilda, Percy, and Jonas covered him.

Slamming his spear into a wolf, Jonas turned to HIlda.

(Jonas) "What do we do?! There are too many of them!"

The ship slowly began to crack loudly as the serpent's grip refused to let go.

(Captain) "At this rate, the ship is going break!"

(Percy) "Wait, wheres your yellow friend?!"

(Duvalie) "Think we saw him make a hole into the lower decks!"

(Dutch) "Then what is he-"

Cannons fired onto the serpent's side that was directly next to the ports, before an entire cannon was thrown out, a rope attached to it making the serpent drop from the weight.

It finally loosened its grip and struggled to get the attached cannons off of it.

(Raelyn) "The rope will not hold, TAKE THE SHOT BROTHER DUTCH!"

(Dutch) "GOTCHA!"

Dutch grabbed his Spartan Laser and charged it, aiming at the head.

Multiple puddles formed around Dutch before the others rushed to it and stuck their weapons inside.

As several birds were about to fly into the shot again, Raelyn emerged from the lower decks and opened fire with the bolter, the shots thundering out and completely shattering them into droplets.

Dutch's Spartan Laser kicked back as the beam hit his target, its head being completely blown off, making the serpent's body go limp and dissolve into the water.

The winged creature suddenly stopped glowing, making the ODST's spin around and open fire, the bullets going into the creature.

Hilda, Fie, Laura, and Duvalie swung their weapons at it, the streaks of their weapons severing it.

Elliot's staff formed into a violin-like shape as he casted a spell that formed a circle of light, blasting upwards and making the creature finally dissipate into the air.

[End Song]

The weather finally began to clear above them, everyone now trying to catch their breath.

(Dutch) "Lord, can you please get us out of this ocean now?"

The ship began to making an uncomfortably loud screeching noise before crewmates were on it, trying to fix the damages.

(Dutch) "...So was that a yes or no?"

An explosion occured where the serpent's body was, a mixture of the rain and saltwater pouring down onto them. A tiny rainbow formed from the storm in sight of the direction back to the town.

(Dutch) "...Amen."

(Fie) "Ugh, finally."

(Elliot) "That wasn't like anything we fought before..."

(Hilda) "Whew...to be fair, don't think we ever had to fight in the ocean."

(Duvalie) "So, do any of us have an idea of-AAAAAGH!"

Duvalie suddenly fell to one knee, grabbing her head.

(Buck) "H-Hey, what's-URGH!"

Buck quickly followed suit, then the ODST's fell to one knee as well, mimicking her action.

The members of Class VII and Raelyn were soon to follow, their heads pounding as their vision suddenly faded to white.

...

...

It was an empty lake with a strange platform in the middle, the sun was bright and the skies only had a few clouds.

And going towards that platform was a blonde-braided man and a small floating companion.

(Paimon) "Hm...Is it a good idea to mess with this?"

(Aether) "It's where the villagers told us that this...thing was, so it's not going to get rid of itself.

(Paimon) "Yeah, but still-"

Before they could continue their conversation, they heard something appear behind them.

It was a small floating creature with a staff, laughing maniacally.

(Aether) "Damn it, why now?"

Aether's sword materialized into his hand and was about to swing before a bright light appeared in front of them, catching the both of them off guard.

(Abyss Mage) "Eh?"

(Aether) "What the?-"

The bright light made the both of them step back, Aether accidentally triggering the platform, and the weather suddenly clouded up.

(Paimon) "Uh oh!"

(Aether) "Damn, now we have to deal with this-"

Before he could finish, the bright light exploded and made the air push them back, before slowly pulling them in.

The Abyss Mage and whatever was summoned with the platform was sucked into the light.

Aether and Paimon came dangerously close to before he shot a powerful gust of wind out of his hand, making him fly further back as the light quickly disappeared.

The weather returned to normal as he got up trying to catch his breath.

(Paimon) "What the heck was that?!"

(Aether) "I...I have no idea..."

Everything started to turn into a static mess as Aether and Paimon slowly faded out of view...

...

(Hilda's voice) "Hey...HEY!"

Everyone's vision returned to them as they looked around confused.

(Percy) "What was that about?"

(Buck) "Alright...we all saw that too right?"

(Duvalie) "Agh...you mean that lake platform thing...?"

(Laura) "I...saw it too!"

(Raelyn) "As did I...None of us possess any psychic abilities I am unaware of, correct?"

(Mickey) "If I had the ability do that crap, I would've in that fight!"

(Hilda) "What are you guys talking about?!"

Everyone turned to Hilda and her knights. It seemed they were unaffected.

(Fie) "You...didn't see that?"

(Hilda) "No, you guys just all reached for your head at the same time!"

They all looked at each other now.

(Elliot) "Was that some kind of dream?"

(Dutch) "Looked more like a memory to me."

(Romeo) "Memory of what? Who the hell were they? And what was that winged bastard we were just fighting having to do with that?"

(Jonas) "Captain, take us back to port."

(Captain) "No need to tell me again. RAISE THE SAILS, LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

Everyone slowly rose up, with Raelyn helping Duvalie up.

They all remained quiet on the ride back.

An hour passed as they finally reached the shore, reaching for their heads.

(Laura) "If we go to another ocean, it will be too soon..."

(Fie) "Let's go head back to the building and-..."

Fie frowned as her ARCUS unit was now beeping.

(Fie) "...Someone's been inside."

They all reached for their weapons and slowly approached it, including the door.

Percy and Jonas quickly scattered the townsfolk, Hilda drawing her axe and joining them.

The ODST's went near the door and silently held up their weapons, turning to the others and nodding.

Duvalie raised her shield and was the first one in, kicking down the door and drawing her sword.

(Duvalie) "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

(Mila) "AAAAAGH!"

The young girl fell backwards, completely terrified of all the weapons suddenly pointing at her.

Romeo and Raelyn looked around the room to make sure no one else was present.

(Fie) "Hey...you're that girl who was talking to those kids."

(Mila) "I-I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU ANGRY! I WAS JUST CURIOUS!"'

Fie turned to the blue devices she stuck on the walls and back to the girl.

(Mila) "U-Uh, I was just wanting to talk to the big yellow guy!"

Everyone turned to Raelyn, who looked back at the girl.

(Raelyn) "...What is it?"

(Mila) "I-I was just wanting to thank you for helping those kids? From yesterday?"

(Raelyn) "...Ah. I do not believe she means us harm."

Everyone slowly put away their weapons while Raelyn took off his helmet and knelt down.

(Raelyn) "Why did you break in here?"

(Mila) "The door was open, promise! At first I checked to see if you were home and...well, then I got curious."

(Elliot) "You could've gotten hurt! You're lucky it was just us, I don't think other mercenaries would be nice enough to let you go unscathed!"

Mila was about to say something before noticing Hilda.

(Mila) "M-MILADY!"

She quickly scrambled to get on one knee before Hilda sighed.

(Hilda) "Hey, come on kiddo. Get up, no need for that around me."

(Mila) "Are...are you guys just mercenaries?"

Raelyn cleared his throat to catch her attention.

(Raelyn) "Yes, we are. Do not mistake our intentions, we were just for the coin. But...give the children my regards. My name is Raelyn. Yours?"

(Mila) "M...Mila."

Raelyn nodded.

(Raelyn) "Then I will see you home. Everyone else we should prepare to get moving."

(Buck) "Right. Pack it up ladies, let's get ready to move."

(Dutch) "On it."

Mickey and Romeo nodded and checked around the house for leftover equipment.

Duvalie shrugged and stood in the corner with the members of Class VII. Hilda stayed with them as Raelyn walked out with Mila.

Fie activated her ARCUS unit and checked the screen.

The blue devices started to beep rapidly, making everyone turn around to see what the noise was.

(Mickey) "So...now can we know what that is?"

(Fie) "Yup. First we just gotta get away. No evidence and all that."

(Mickey) "...Oh, that explains why it looked familliar."

(Duvalie) "Huh? W-What is it?"

(Buck) "...Are we safe-"

(Fie) "I gotta push the button first. We're fine. We put these here last night in case we had to leave early."

(Elliot) "We made sure this building was abandoned and out of the way of everyone."

(Hilda) "Uh...what are they talking about?"

(Laura) "We have our things, let us get moving."

...

Raelyn walked alongside the girl, his helmet underneath his arm.

(Raelyn) "Mila, do your parents know you like to snoop around like this?"

(Mila) "Hah...y-yeah. It wasn't for anything bad, I promise!"

(Raelyn) "Hmph. Those children, who are they to you? Siblings?"

(Mila) "Nah, they're orphans. From the war..."

(Raelyn) "War?"

(Mila) "You know...the Five-year war? The one with the Church and Empire?"

(Raelyn) "Ah. My apologies, it seems I forgot."

(Mila) "Are you really mercenaries? Figured you would've remembered that at least."

(Raelyn) "...I am. My age is getting the better of me is all."

Mila raised an eyebrow at Raelyn's half assed excuse.

(Raelyn) "Regardless, you did not answer my question."

(Mila) "Oh, right. Well they were kids that were on the streets for a while. None of us really knew what to do, so I became friends with them! They ended up following me around everywhere for the past three years."

(Raelyn) "Then you have a good heart it seems. What are their names?"

(Mila) "The boy is Emil, and the girl is Lena."

(Raelyn) "Well then, take care of Emil and Lena. They are going to need you for the coming times."

(Mila) "Yeah..."

Raelyn stopped following when Mila approached a door, assuming it to be her house.

(Raelyn) "Take care then, Mila."

(Mila) "W-Wait, where will you guys go?"

(Raelyn) "I cannot say. Wherever the wind takes us I suppose."

(Mila) "Will...we see you again?"

Raelyn put on his helmet and turned to her.

(Raelyn) "If the Emperor wills it, then yes."

(Mila) "Emperor? Like, Emperor Edelgard?"

(Raelyn) "Er...different one."

KABOOM!

Raelyn turned to the source of the explosion, seeing his group semi-casually walking away from it.

(Mila) "What the?!"

(Raelyn) "Get inside. I will investigate."

Mila nodded and quickly went inside while Raelyn walked over to the group.

(Citizen) "Good goddess, the building collapsed on itself?!"

(Citizen 2) "No one was hurt, were they?"

(Citizen 3) "N-No, just-" cough cough "Some dust!"

(Fie) "Aaaand that's your answer to what they were."

(Duvalie) "Bombs?!"

(Laura) "We wanted to cover our tracks."

(Raelyn) "Would that not make them suspicious of us even more?"

(Elliot) "No more than they already were."

Buck's visor picked up signatures to their side, quietly watching them.

(Fie) "There's been people watching us ever since we arrived."

(Dutch) "Think it's those insurrectionists?"

(Hilda) "Too early to tell. We'll investigate things from our end."

(Mickey) "Well, good luck to ya then, ma'am."

Hilda nodded and went joined Percy and Jonas who were looking at the collapsed building.

(Buck) "Well then, mission accomplished on our end. Wonder how the other kids are doing."

(Duvalie) "More importantly, I want answers to whatever the hell's going on with this talk of separatists and that vision thing."

As they walked away from the town, Mila watched from the window.

(Mila) "Just who are you...?"

PART 2: ENDED

TO BE CONTINUED…

[Lost in Paradise - ALI]

Gotta get it homie gotta move it If you gonna do it then, push everything to the side Everybody just talk nobody really do it You should keep a secret until you actually do it No need to double check with someone Use your judgement only, break the walls Let’s do flashy fake More Cool, keep it low, prove them wrong I won’t give up the fight in my life 'Cause my life is living for love I won’t give up the fight in my life Stand off and groove on time Tokyo prison Going to relight your feelings When times get too rough Night and day are fading Going to relight your feelings There’s no time to explain Gimme your love Access to your love Oh yeah Lost in paradise Night and day are fading out When times getting rough Access to your love Lost in paradise Night and day are fading out Keep on dancing now Hеy hey hеy hey heyeah

[angelliev]

Lover Boy - JJ Maybank x OC - Part Nine - Pogue Style

Word Count: 3.1K

Summary: Aria has the time of her life with JJ and the Pogues. 

Warnings: Making out, explosions, implied smut, cursing, and the Pogues doing crazy shit I guess

A/N: I had a blast writing this one. I just love the Pogues and their chaotic energy. Sorry for not posting for a few days. I’m taking my time writing these parts and I’m still trying to figure out where I want this to go. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy! (Not my GIF. Credits to the owner. I don't own the show or any of the characters.)

Lover Boy Series Masterlist

I’m starting to believe that the past is actually coming back to bite me in the ass. It has been a couple of months of Jennifer being gone. She still calls me occasionally to see how I’m doing along with the family and everyone else. Lately, my parents from my understanding are giving her space. However, they’ve been arguing a lot lately, and when they’re not, they are avoiding each other. I couldn’t help but notice that my dad hasn’t been around the house lately, not that I’m complaining, but it has been making me suspicious. He’s been acting a bit weird lately. He works on the mainland, so normally he’s only here on the weekends, but now here’s rarely ever here.

Today was just another normal day around the house. I’m currently doing homework at the kitchen island, while mom is cooking dinner and talking to Damian. Everything was going just great until the front door slammed shut. All three of us look up in confusion. In charges a very angry Claude. None of got the chance to ask what was wrong before he plucked my phone from my hands and threw it across the room. The sound of a shattered screen could be heard throughout the house.

“What the fuck?!” I yell, which surprises me. Normally I don’t have the guts to yell at my dad. “You lying little bitch!” He shouts. “Claude! What is wrong with you?!” My mom yells. “She has been lying to all of us this whole time!” He shouts. “What the hell are you talking about?” Asked Damian. “I just got off the phone with the private investigator. He knows you dropped Jennifer off at the ferry. He’s seen the text messages between you guys.” His words make me freeze. Everyone’s eyes were on me.

“Are you kidding me? You hired a private investigator to find her? When are you going to take the hint that she doesn’t want to see you?” I spit. “I don’t care what she wants! And I don’t appreciate you going behind my back and helping Jennifer run away.” His eyes filled with rage. “For god’s sake dad, she’s a grown woman! She’s not obligated to live here! She’s finally happy! Just leave her alone!” I quickly gather my things. “You’re not going anywhere. You tell me where she is!” He follows after me. I sprint to my car and lock the doors. I jump high when his body slams against the vehicle.

“This isn’t over! Get out the fucking car right now!” I speed away leaving my dad yelling to the top of his lungs. That man needs some serious help. I pick up the cracked phone. My screen is completely shattered and the phone itself is barely working, much to my dismay. I wanted to call JJ, but that idea was thrown out the window, like my phone, so I just continued to drive towards the chateau hoping that JJ was there.

I pull up to see that the van wasn’t anywhere near the fish shack, but I was more than delighted to see JJ’s bike parked. I check his room, having no luck, so I go outside and follow the sound of music. I find him resting in the hammock, vape in hand, and blanket covering his body from the brisk air. “Hey babe.” I greet him, making his head snap towards me. “Hey, babygirl. Wasn’t expecting to see you. C’mere.” He made room for me and lifted the blanket. “You’re like the best boyfriend ever. You know that?” I snuggle into his warmth. He just smirks. “I know. You moaning my name already says enough.” I lightly smack his chest, before taking a hit from his vape.

“We should runaway together.” I suggest. This catches his attention. “Where did you have in mind beautiful?” I take a couple seconds to think. “Somewhere tropical. Like Spain, Italy, Greece or Monaco. I’ve always wanted to see Europe. We can have a little house on the beach. We can get that dog you’ve always wanted. Fix up that Chevy Camaro. Think about it baby. Wake up to have morning sex, then shower sex, make breakfast, surf all day, have beach sex, drive for a little while, have dinner, then end the night with even more sex.” I ramble on. This makes him laugh. “Someone’s horny. But that does sound nice.”

“Of course, it does. I came up with it.” I let the weed relax my body, enjoying the high. “What brought this on anyways?” He asked curious. “Oh, the usual. My dad being an asshole. Fucking threw my phone across the room.” “What crawled up his ass?” “He found out I helped Jennifer runaway.” I sigh. “How?” “He apparently hired a private investigator, fucking psycho. He’s such a control freak. She’s in her early twenties, if she wants to live in Boston, who cares? Hell, I just turned eighteen and he thinks he has complete control over me still.” I huff.

“I know the feeling babe. Trust me, once we finish school, we’ll be out of here before you know it. We can fuck each other all day with no cock blocking.” The two of us laugh. We let the time pass as we vape and kiss. The kissing soon escalated into a full blown make out session. His tongues slips into my mouth while his hands find my ass making me giggle. I let my hands venture under his shirt, feeling his nicely toned body. “Jesus shit your hands are freezing.” He shivers. “I can think of a few ways to keep each other warm.” I say suggestively, before connecting our lips again. He rolls on top of me, trapping me under him. He attacks my neck with kisses.

“Cool off you two!” A voice interrupts our session, along with a water gun, hitting JJ’s back. The two of us looks up to see the whole group of pogues along with Sarah. “When the hell did this happen?” John B asked, water gun still in his hands. “Oh, you mean the make out session? A few minutes ago.” JJ attempts to dodge the question. “Not that dipshit. You guys dating. How long has that been going on?” JJ’s face scrunched trying to remember. “Like since that get together at Charis’s.” Both Pope and John B’s eyes nearly popped out.

“About time you two came out.” Said Kie. The two clueless boys whip their heads towards her. “You knew?” They asked astonished. “Yeah, so did Sarah and Charis.” “So much for no secrets among pogues.” Muttered Pope. “Sorry to interrupt your guys’ dumbassery, but can I help you? We were kind of in the middle of something.” JJ interrupts. “As a matter of fact, yes. We were planning on doing some stupid shit. You two in? Or are you guys just going to sit here and bump uglies all day?” John B aimed the water gun at us. “Okay! We’ll join you guys! Just put the damn thing down.” We got up from the hammock. “That’s the spirit. Now, get it in the van children.” He smiles. “Spoken like a true pedophile.” Says Pope.

I think it’s fair to say that I was not expecting the day to go like this, but it’s better than going home. “So, what are we doing?” I asked still unclear what the guys were planning. “Well, for starters we’re hitting up the store, Kie and Sarah were nice enough to offer to buy food and drinks, and then the rest is a surprise.” Explains John B. “This should be interesting.” Says JJ. The six of us jump out of the van and stroll our way into the store, ready to terrorize the isles and poor shoppers.

We grab a shopping cart. Sarah jumps into it after calling dibs, earning a glare from the store clerk. We head straight to the candy isle, burying Sarah in M&Ms, Watermelon Sour Patch Kids, Kit Kats, Jolly Ranchers, Skittles, Pop Rocks, Twizzlers, Hubba Bubba and Snickers. “We’re overdosing tonight guys.” Smiles Sarah. We then grab a bunch of chips. Our next stop was the snack isle. John B grabs a shitload of Cheez Its, while Pope grabs fruit snacks. At one point, I had Kie on my shoulders as she attempted to grab a box of Gushers sitting at the top shelf.

“Welp, I think that’s everything guys.” Says Kie, motioning to Sarah, here head the only body part that’s visible due to being buried by all the junk food. “I can’t move guys.” She laughs. As we make our way towards the checkout, we spot Rafe, Kelce and Topper along with more friends talking. JJ gets this brilliant idea to grab the store speaker phone and disguises his voice before announcing, “Paging Topper Thornton. I repeat Topper Thornton. We have your order of extra small condoms ready at the front desk. Thank you.” We all rush to the check-out to pay for our things giggling, before Topper and his friends come to beat our asses. Once we reach the parking lot, we all burst out laughing.

“Did you guys see his face?” JJ asked wheezing as we loaded the groceries into the vehicle. “Maybank! I’m gonna kill you!” We look over to see Rafe, Kelce, Topper and the rest of the crew charging towards us. We all quickly gather into the van, barely escaping from the Kook death squad. “Yo, John B! Slow down a little!” JJ commands before grabbing a snickers and a condom out of his wallet, before opening the side door, to see Topper on our tails.

“Here man have a snickers! Oh, and here’s a much larger condom for you man! Don’t worry you’ll grow into it eventually!” He laughs chucking them at the poor kook. “Screw you dirty pogues!” He yells as we drive off laughing. This is way better than sitting at home. Together we laugh, sang and ate as John B drove us to the surprise location. After a while, we all grew impatient, wondering where the hell he’s taking us, as we look out to see we’re practically out in the middle of nowhere on the island. We finally reach a location, of what looks like an abandoned amusement park.

“Where the hell are we?” Asked JJ, who’s head sat in my lap. “Exactly what it looks like. The OBX Fair Grounds. It’s been abandoned for like over a decade now. It’s the perfect place to do a bunch of stupid shit.” John B smiled feeling accomplished. I must say it was definitely fun to have the whole park to ourselves and boy did we have some fun. Such as, climbing roller coasters that were definitely not stable, venturing into creepy mirror mazes, and drinking on the carousel, while playing a good game of Cards Against Humanity.

As of now, me and the girls are playing another round when the boys came back rolling a bunch of bumper cars. That’s when John B and JJ begin setting them at the top of this small hill. “What the hell are you guys doing?!” I asked bewildered. “We’re gonna race these bad boys down the hill. Winner gets a twenty!” Shouts John B. “I’ll squirt you guys on the way down!” Pope yells holding up the water gun. “I highly recommend you don’t do that!” Yells Sarah. “Don’t worry! Those bushes over there should stop the cars.” Says JJ. It’s at times like this where I wonder how I ended up dating a literal five-year-old. “That doesn’t sound right babe!” I yell. Kie just scoffs. “JJ! I think what your girlfriend is trying to say is that you guys are a bunch of fucking morons!” She yells.

“Fuck off!” Yells JJ, earning an eye roll for Kie. “It’s a miracle that men aren’t extinct, due to the stupid shit they do.” Says Kie, which Sarah and I nod our heads to as we watch the two boys situate their selves in the number carts. “On your mark. Get set…go!” The boys push their cars, speeding down the hill screaming. John B’s car begins to drift. “You’re gonna crash!” Sarah yells to her boyfriend. “No, I’m not!” Not even 3 seconds later, he crashes into a gate, earning a cackle from JJ. “Suck on that loser, better get that twenty-“ JJ doesn’t get to finish his sentence when his car crashes through what looks like a closed off booth. “Dumbass.” Mutters Kie.

“You guys okay?” I asked. The two just got up and whooped. “Let’s do that again!” Shouts John B. “Holy shit! Guys I just found a bunch of fireworks.” JJ grabs one and points at the booth. “Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s light these bad boys up!” JB yells as all the boys run back up to us. “Yes, John B. Let’s let everyone know that we’re setting off fireworks in the abandoned amusement park that we’re currently trespassing.” Kie said in a sarcastic tone.

“How about this, we’ll just set off one, and take the rest of them back home?” Pope suggests. “Those things are like a decade old. Do they even work?” I asked. JJ just smirks. “Only one way to find out.” He says and proceeds to light the rocket. We all stand back as the spark is close to reaching its end, only for the rocket to fall over, aiming for the whole firework shack. “Oh shit!” “Fuck!” “Run!” All of us curse and begin to run the other way. The rocket shoots into the direction of the shack, before exploding. It then sets off a chain reaction, making all the fireworks go off at the same time, exploding the whole firework tent.

The sound of the all the fireworks going off at once and the explosion makes me cover my ears as we all continue to run and scream, attempting to make distance between us and the explosion. It felt like a long time before the sound of exploding fireworks came to a halt. We decide to look back, only to find that the tent had caught on fire, along with some more standing by it. The black smoke begins to cloud the sky. All of us stand there in pure shock.

“What the hell did you do JJ?” Screamed Kie. “That wasn’t my fault! It malfunctioned!” He defended himself. “Guys, not the best time to argue! We need to get the hell out of here! The cops and fire department have probably already been notified of the explosion and fire going on right now! And we’re a ways away from where we parked.” Pope distinguished the conversation. “Let’s haul ass people!” JB shouts and no one hesitates to resume to running.

All of our lungs began to burn, sweat was beading down our bodies, and our legs were close to giving out as we ran across half of the damn park, before reaching the van. That’s when we hear the nearby sirens. “Everyone in?” JB and Sarah look back to make sure no one was left behind. “GO, GO, GO!” We all scream, the van’s tires make a screeching noise and all of us are thrown back as we speed away from the scene. All of us sit back as we try to catch our breath, adrenaline pumping through our veins. JB decides to take a different route, hoping to avoid the authorities.

“Holy shit. Did that seriously just happen?” I asked still in shock, I must be fucking dreaming. This is not how I thought my day would be turning out. “Hell yeah! Pogue style baby! That’s what I’m taking about!” JJ smiles and puts his arm around me. We all began to laugh at how crazy and ridiculous the whole situation was. Our moment is cut off by Sarah’s phone ringing. “Who’s that?” Asked JB. “It’s Charis. Hello?” Sarah puts her on speaker.

“What the fuck did you pyromaniacs do?” Charis’s voice could be heard throughout the van, making all of us giggle. “What are you talking about?” Sarah plays dumb. “I’m talking about that big ass explosion and smoke in the sky that everyone can see!” She shouts. “Oh that? That wasn’t us.” Sarah played it off all nonchalant. “Bullshit.” “Oh, c’mon Charis. Why would we be start going around blowing up shit?” Asked John B. “Why wouldn’t you guys start going around blowing up shit?! And why wasn’t I invited?!” We all started laughing at Charis. “Uh oh, I’m losing signal. I’ll call you back later. Love you. Bye!” Sarah hangs up the phone.

“Is this a normal day for you guys?” I asked. “Pretty much.” Everyone says at the same time. Damn, I should’ve started hanging out with these guys a long time ago. I have never had this much fun in my whole life. The whole way home we all screamed and sang along to our favorite songs, until we pulled up to the chateau. We all exit the vehicle, still pumped up, so we decided to start a bonfire. Despite the fact that we already started one.

We all sat around the fire roasting some hot dogs and marshmallows. I was snuggled into JJ’s lap, blanket wrapped around the two of us. He takes his roasted marshmallow, before smearing some on my cheek. I look up at him before smearing some of mine on his nose. He leans down and crashes his lips against mine in a sweet kiss. “Get a room you two!” JB throws a marshmallow at the two of us. JJ just gives him the finger. He hugs me tighter nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. “I don’t want you to go home.” He whispers placing a kiss on my neck. “I’m not going back home. At least not tonight. I don’t feel like dealing with my dad and his bullshit.” I yawn before taking a sip of my beer.

“You tired?” He asked. “Nah, the night is still young.” I yawn once more, making him chuckle. “C’mon, let’s go to bed.” He pulls me off the ground, wrapping his arm around me, my arm hooks around his waist. The pogues begin to make moaning noises. “Mm, JJ fuck me.” “Fuck! Right there baby.” “Harder JJ!” “Give me that Big J!” They all teased, earning another finger from JJ. “Night you horny shits.” He waves them off. “Night!” They all say.

The two of us, make our way to his room knocking into stuff, a little drunk. The two of us giggle as he picks me up and kicks the door shut before throwing me onto the bed. We throw our clothes off across the room. “I’m still kinda feeling the adrenaline rush.” He confesses as he litters my breasts with kisses. “Then let’s put that energy to good use.” I suggest, before biting my lip trying to contain my moan when he finds my sweet spot. “Let them hear babygirl. Let the whole world hear. I need to make sure they all know you’re mine.” He kisses my lips. “I’m forever yours.”

[thebisexualdogdad]

Being Claudia Donovan's brother and dating Steve Jinks

Co written with @inhumanshadows

· You didn't start dating Steve until a year after he joined the team 

· For one reason you thought dating a co worker was a bad idea 

· And more importantly your sister was his best friend

· And that was another can of worms.

· However after a year... you decided to talk to her about it.

· And by talk you meant “frantically run to her room shouting ‘crisis!”

· "What the hell is wrong with you?" 

· "I uh.. Want to ask Steve out on a date" 

· "Well finally" 

· "You knew i liked him?" 

· "Everyone knows dude, even Pete figured it out"

· “Wow... that’s uh... kinda sad honestly...”

· “Yeah... so go ask him out.”

· You asked Steve and out and he happily said yes 

· There isn't much to do in south dakota so your first date was just to a dinner in town

· The date was pretty nice. You guys just sat there and tried not to talk about work. But with your job kinda the only thing.

· Then Steve wanted to know about the other cases you guys had before he came along.

· You spent hours telling him all about the dumb shit Pete got into before Steve joined

· And how Claudia accidently magnetized herself to the warehouse

· “Wait wait she what?”

· “Oh yeah. Alessandro Volta’s lab coat. Then there was the time the place almost exploded cause of silly string.”

· You end up kissing him goodnight outside his bedroom at the inn and Pete see's who tells Claudia

· You definitely heard someone scamper down the hall.

· but you didn't care, you just wanted to kiss steve again

· You made out in the hall until Myka left her room to find Leena and stumbled upon you guys 

· "Oh come on Myka don't ruin the mood" Pete yells from down the hall

· "Great Pete you ruined our cover" Claudia then yells 

· "Claudia, Pete knock it off," you yell at them

· Said guilty parties pop up from around the corner.

· “Really? Really what are we 5?” You ask.

· “It was Pete’s idea!” Claudia points

· “What!!”

· You guys go on a few more dates and eventually have the are we officially boyfriends talk

· You’re laying in your room, away from the nosey coworkers and family.

· “So... boyfriends?” You ask. 

· Steve nods. “You know Claudia had a pot going for how long it would take you to ask me out?” 

· “I’m gonna kill her....”

· Nobody ships you guys more than Pete not even Claudia 

He's always trying to set up cute moments for you two 

· Like putting up the mistletoe on christmas

· “Haha very fun Claudia...” you say, pointing to aforementioned plant.

· “Wasn’t me I swear. You guys are cute but I don’t need to see my brother and bestie sucking face.”

·"Where's Pete" 

· "Damn i was so close"

· You shake your head and give Steve a quick peck. 

· Pete: “aww I missed it.”

· One of the perks of dating another warehouse agent is getting to see the world with him

· Granted most of those involve artifact related high jinks and chaos. Of course you claudia and Steve are a team.

· Which means many times your delightful sister has gone “hey lovebirds! Artifact!”

· Claudia now makes Artie book her a room on a separate floor after the incident where she could hear you guys going at it next door through the thin hotel room walls

· Josh is very nonchalant about his younger siblings dating 

· When he met Steve it was just alright cool and that's it

· You look to Steve “Relax. He’s telling the truth.”

· double dates with Myka and HG often

· Going out for drinks and having to help HG carry a tipsy Myka home

· Or HG casually dropping that she knows whatever historical figure Steve brings up

· She’s like “[insert historical name here] Very homosexual. Revolving door of men.”

· Arties like a dad, the moment he sees you kiss even just a peck he looks away

· You wear Steve’s jacket and artie is like “is that new?” Pete and Claudia : “it’s steves.”

· Or having to hurry to get dressed in the morning for a mission and not realizing you're wearing each other clothes until later

· You guys have a break and you realize you got your pants right but shirt and jacket and even your underwear once got swapped

· You and Claudia tried to throw a surprise birthday party for Steve and it was a disaster

· There was screaming and flying cake. but it did end in laughter

· And Steve pretended like he didn't know but he secretly got Pete to tell him days ago

· You find out while you and Steve share a shower. “Pete Really told you....”

· “Yes. But I appreciate the effort.”

· You and Steve are always trying to set Claudia up on dates

· You also debated tracking down Todd

· "I do not need help finding a boyfriend" 

· "And how long have you been single for again?" 

· "Shut it"

·  “What was that? T-t-two years?”

· “I’ll murder you...”

· You and Steve end up getting a dog who becomes the team dog

· You guys come home and announce “trailer has a brother!”

· You got him mainly because you were jealous that Artie was trailers favorite

· He’s a corgi named Max

· You guys spoil him, he has so many toys and everyone always sneak him treats

· He’s your little loaf. And myka wants to steal him

· He's a bandana boy with a rotating attire 

· He even has a pride bandana that Pete got him 

· "What kind of gays are you not even getting your pet a pride outfit"

·“We have you pete. We knew you’d do something.”

· “Oh yay! Points for uncle Pete.”

· When you get hurt Steve drops everything to nurse you back to health

· He’s a mother hen and goes a bit overboard but it comes from places of love.

· Max's new home is your chest when you get hurt

· "Did i just get replaced by the dog?" 

· "Babe there's enough space for both of you" 

· He's such a cuddler

· Claudia Totally secretly plans a wedding

· And denies the hell out of it

· "Claud, Steve and i aren't planning on getting married for many many years" 

· "You can never be too prepared bro"

· Pete: “especially in our line of work!” “See pete gets it!”

· Oh boy. Steve’s mom meeting you.

· She won't stop telling Steve how handsome you are

· And she’s just so happy. Steve is blushing and hoping she doesn’t bring up any stories

· And she sneaks Steve the family ring

· "For when you're ready dear, I know you're gonna marry that man one day"

· Meanwhile you’re over by the family photos. “Is this you in high school?!? You had BLUE HAIR??!”

· "The teenage angst was real in high school" 

· "Oh god i can't believe you had a nose ring"

· His mom is like: “he had his he combat boots and eyeliner too...” “ma!!” “Please go on!!” Steve: “what have I done...

· You feel bad so you share some of your own embarrassing stories from high school

·“I once got caught making out with the coach's son

· "No way" 

· "Yeah i got banned from the locker room"

· “What else?” 

· “Um... can’t tell that one in front of your mother... oh I once made got into class through a three story high window”

· "You could have gotten seriously hurt" 

· "I was 16 i wasn't thinking"

· “Unbelievable.” 

· “Oh come on. You have to have done stupid stuff

·"I guess i did ride a skateboard into a pool once..."

· “A full pool” His mom tacks on.

· “Ma!”

· Vacations with Steve are tough because he's constantly checking his phone for an artifact sos

· You helped Claudia build more tiny artifact ping things and have them on your person.

· "Steve we're on a beach in the Bahamas, they can handle the warehouse for one week without us"

· “I know... I just... you know?”

· “I do... and I get it. But right now you and I are on mandatory vacation so let’s enjoy it.”

· You make Steve turn his phone off and take a long walk along the beach

· That walk is empty enough for the occasional ass grab from you.

· Once Steve truly starts to relax you guys explore the island taking in all the information the tour guides give you

· You guys spend the rest of the first day getting ideas on what to do. Now you’re back in the hotel room. You decide to shower, now covered in sand.

· one of the days you found out there's a hot surfer giving paddle boarding sessions

· After your paddle boarding lesson you returned to your room both you and Steve blushing about how hot the guy was

· “Can I just say that instructor was very hot!! Not as hot as you Steve but...”

· "That was one gorgeous man, think we should try to set him up with Pete?" 

· "Honey Pete is straight" 

· "You sure about that?"

· You think for a minute. “Well... now that you mention it....”

· You keep that idea on the backburner as you grab the phone to order some room service 

· "Tomorrow's the last day what do you want to do?"

·  “Honestly? Let's relax here maybe get a massage and then order in.”

· The next day you do as Steve suggests and just relax

· You sleep in and have lunch 

· Get a couples massage and end the day with one last walk on the beach

· At the end of the walk Steve stops you before you return to the room 

· "Y/N there's something i want to talk about" 

· "What's that?" 

· "Us"

· “Okay... should I be worried?”

· “No! No! Nothing like that.

· "What is it then?" 

· "You know i love you and i want to spend the rest of my life with you" 

· "This is sounding like a proposal Jinksy" 

· "Don't worry I'm not proposing, we're not ready for that right now but one day I want to"

· You smile. “I’d like that too... one day... that isn’t today.”

· “I love you Y/N.”

· “Love you too Jinksy”

·  "Wait till Claudia finds out" 

· "I'm more worried about Pete, he's been waiting for the engagement since our first date" 

· "We really need to set him up with the hot surfer" 

· "Yes, yes we do" 

[lumateranlibrarian]

Let’s talk about Claudia and Soren, because I’m pretty sure their conflict is going to be one of the biggest parts of The Dragon Prince’s endgame.

The Dragon Prince’s main recurring theme is breaking the cycle of revenge and hate, and how that duty falls on the newer generations when their predecessors failed to do so. This theme is so prevalent that we see the children of The Dragon Prince being placed over and over in chilling parallels to their parents.

Rayla’s parents were the last line of defense for the Dragon Prince’s egg, and yet they failed to protect it, running away or losing their lives (or so we’re led to believe); Rayla chose to be the last line of defense for Zym and Zubeia during the final battle. In her confrontation with the exact same man her parents faced, she was put in the same position, and was also willing to die to save Zym (and would have if Callum hadn’t pulled that spell out of his ass, but that’s beside the point).

Ezran sits on the throne of Katolis, and has to decide whether he’ll let a man driven by vengeance and fear tell him how to use his power. This man inevitably decides that dark magic will lead him to his goal. Like Harrow in his final days, Ezran chooses peace over conflict - and yet, for this choice, Ezran is ousted from his throne and placed in a prison he later escapes (unlike his father, unless you consider a birdcage, subsequently escaped, to be a prison too - oh, wait).

And then. Soren and Claudia.

Buckle up, ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon. Shit’s about to get real.

The scene where Soren snuck away from Viren’s army, leaving Claudia behind, was masterfully executed, and I’m still both delighted and heartbroken over it all. But to map out why it was so excruciating, we have to go back a few episodes. Specifically, the finale of Season 2.

In Breathe, Claudia apologizes to Ezran for her actions attempting to capture him. When Ezran admits that he knows about his father’s death, Claudia empathizes with him by explaining the circumstances of Viren and her mother’s separation.

CLAUDIA I know it’s not the same, but… when I was a kid, my mom and dad split up. I remember hearing them fight a lot at night after we went to bed. And then one day, they told us Mom was moving back to Del Bar, where her family was from. And then they said… we had to choose. And Soren chose Dad. How could I choose? How could I do that? Then my mom looked at my dad, and she told me to stay. She said that I had to stay with Soren, that this was my home, and my brother and I needed each other. And then she left.

EZRAN But how could she do that? Why would she leave you?

CLAUDIA I think she needed to leave for herself. To be happy… somehow. You might have noticed my dad is pretty intense.

EZRAN You must miss her.

CLAUDIA Losing her has been the hardest thing that’s ever happened to me.

EZRAN When you grow up, sometimes there are changes you don’t expect, and you have to face things you’re not ready for. Callum told me that.

CLAUDIA You are so lucky to have a brother like Callum.

EZRAN I know.

CLAUDIA And… I’m lucky to have my brother. Soren is a doof, but he’s my doof! I know he would do anything to protect me, and I would do anything for him.

Pretty upsetting, right? I can understand why a young Claudia would be so torn - after all, no child wants to make the choice between losing one parent or the other. And Claudia clearly recognizes that it was not abandonment, when her mother left - rather, it was her mother doing what was right for herself. Of course, Claudia didn’t come to this realization immediately, and says as much. It just took a long time for her to get there. Again, an understandable response.

Hold onto that! It’s a surprise tool that will help us later.

So, with this in mind, let’s proceed to Season 3, Episode 7, Hearts of Cinder.

Soren has seen some shit.

Where to even start? Viren told Soren all but explicitly to kill the crown prince and his brother. And when Soren and Claudia confronted Viren about this, Viren gaslighted the shit out of his son, to the point that even Claudia was convinced Soren had misunderstood their brilliant, intellectual father for the umpteenth time. This left a deeply upset Soren was wrestling with what he knew and what he was being told. Every time Soren tried to ask for more information, he was harshly rebuffed by Viren, or more gently brushed to the side by a (perhaps willfully) naive Claudia. He knows what Viren wanted him to do with Ezran, and this has been weighing on him for a while. When Ezran spared his and Claudia’s lives, and then was himself thrown in jail (a fucking ten year old boy cuffed in the same prison cell used to contain a treasonous archmage), Soren finally put his foot down and said, actually, fuck this.

And, before I get into the quotes once more, I’d like to point out: Soren isn’t actually stupid. He has his blatantly obtuse moments, yes, but he did come up with the plan (and muster the sheer audacity it took to pull it off) to get Ezran out of Katolis. That doesn’t happen by being an idiot.

Anyways, hold on to that. It’s a surprise tool that will help us later.

By the time Viren, with Aaravos’ help, manages to siphon the power of the Sun Elves’ city, Soren has seen enough. And when Viren straight-up assumes that Soren will be blindly willing to be the first transformed soldier - perhaps because he assumes Soren is too easily led to refuse - Soren says no. He says, I don’t want to do this. I’m scared.

You know how the rest of that scene goes.

Let’s get to the good stuff.

Soren flees, and Claudia goes after him.

CLAUDIA Soren. What’s going on? Where are you going?

SOREN I can’t stay here anymore, Claudia. You’ve seen what’s going on. What Dad turned Kasef into. What Dad turned into.

CLAUDIA Maybe he’s just doing what needs to be done.

SOREN Claudia, you’re changing, too. But it’s not too late. Come with me, Claudia. You can leave him!

CLAUDIA Please, Soren, don’t… don’t do this to me. Don’t make me choose. Not again!

SOREN Okay. Goodbye, Clauds.

CLAUDIA No! No! No, no no!

Do you see the parallels? Yes? No? All right, let’s go.

Both of these scenarios have arisen because of some sort of discord between Viren and his (I hope) loved one

Both loved ones (the children’s mother and Soren, respectively) decided that they could no longer stay with Viren, and had to leave.

Both loved ones gave the remaining family members a choice, to stay with Viren or come with them.

Claudia couldn’t decide, or Claudia wouldn’t decide, and this drove her to intense distress.

Hoping to spare Claudia pain, the leaving party told her to stay with Viren and Soren (or, just Viren), and Claudia had to watch someone she loved walk away.

The writers are bringing their A-game here, in case that hasn’t been made abundantly clear yet. There are a couple of reasonable assumptions we can make, going off these pretty blatant similarities:

Claudia and Soren’s mother was likely also upset about Viren’s growing reliance on dark magic. Or at least, that was a part of it.

Claudia and Soren’s mother returned to live with her family in another city, far away. This raises the possibility that Team Zym and associates are now Soren’s “family”, and like his mother, he’s not likely to go back.

Remember that first “surprise tool”? Claudia, while heartbroken now like she was then, may be able to forgive Soren for leaving her, as she came to understand her mother’s reasons for finalizing the divorce and moving away from the capital. Whether she does, and if doing so leads to reconciliation, however, remains to be seen…

This scene was beautifully executed, and kudos to the writers, animators, and voice actors for a superb character study. I am curious, though. Claudia has been closely paralleled with Viren, here. It’s possible that Soren has had several moments in the series so far where his actions and motivations mirror his mother’s, and we just don’t know about it because of how little we know of her.

But wait! We’re not done. I did say I think a final, major confrontation between Claudia and Soren is part of the endgame, right? Let’s dive into that.

Point: Claudia is either more powerful or more dangerously driven than Viren. Why do I say this, given all the crazy shit Viren’s done, especially under Aaravos’ counsel? Because Claudia brought Viren back from the dead. She has done what Viren either never could, or never dared to do. If Viren had been able or willing, he would have saved Sarai.

(If that’s not true… if he chose not to save Sarai, in favor of collecting her last breath in order to make a cursed weapon that could bring down Thunder… well, any shred of redeemability Viren had is now gone in my mind. Because how do you look your friend, a grieving husband, father, and king in the eye when you hold his wife’s last breath in your hands and say, “This is all I was able to save,” when it’s a lie?)

Point: Viren failed Aaravos. Viren failed Aaravos, but Claudia has managed to perform what is, as far as we know, the impossible. From the split second glimpse we have of her face immediately after Viren is revived, it seems like she just cast the spell - her eyes are pure black, but quickly fade to their original color, much as they did when Claudia restored Soren’s ability to walk using life force siphoned from a pair of deer. We also know that Aaravos has been spinning himself a new form over the two days before Viren was revived - it’s possible that Aaravos doesn’t yet know what Claudia has accomplished. What will Aaravos do, I wonder, when he learns about the impossible prodigy he has access to? It’s implied that Claudia still doesn’t know about Aaravos speaking through the caterpillar, but that hardly matters to a master manipulator like Aaravos. When you want to conquer Xadia, do you want a broken, old pawn, or a young and innovative replacement instead?

Point: Soren is not stupid. He’s not booksmart, obviously. But he’s got a keen eye for strategy. How do I know? Because he made Captain of the Crownsguard at the age of 18. Because it took him all of two seconds to see a dragon brought down by ballista during the battle to realize that the only way to give the dragons a fighting chance was to keep them in the air. Because he planned - no, he masterminded - Ezran’s escape from the dungeons and subsequent journey across Xadia to get to Zym before Viren. And because he timed it just right, Viren has no idea Ezran has escaped until the final battle - if he even knows at all, given that the only interaction we see is between them after Ezran’s escape is on the battlefield, with Ezran and the illusion Viren created by Claudia.

Point: The Illusion Viren.

This frame was the one that, of the entire season, truly stole my breath away.

Viren (well, illusion Viren, but that’s not the point of this frame) is the dividing factor between Claudia and Soren, and he has caused this rift between them due to his intent towards Ezran. Soren’s compassion and duty towards Ezran has allowed him to see the truth of Viren’s actions, whereas Claudia’s compassion for Ezran has blinded her to the fact that her own father could act so horribly to him.

And, if you’ll indulge me for just a minute, I have to wonder - why was this the ploy Claudia chose to use, to distract Soren and Ezran from the threat at the top of the Storm Spire? She has adamantly been opposed to the idea that Viren would ever orchestrate Ezran’s death, including several clear warning signs and Soren’s testimony. So why did she use this illusion - of Viren going after Ezran, clearly trying to kill him - against Soren, when his resolve to protect Ezran from Viren is what led him to the Storm Spire in the first place? Claudia is horrified when Soren demonstrates that he is willing to kill his own father to protect Ezran (who is, by the way, still a ten-year-old boy, king or not). But isn’t this what Soren has been saying all along? That Viren has been telling him to kill Ezran, and that Viren is wrong, and Soren believed this so much that he chose to leave rather than continue gong along with Viren’s plans? So, whose resolve is Claudia really testing here - Soren’s? Or her own?

I think it’s the latter, honestly. But back to our regularly-scheduled programming. Where was I?

Ah, yes.

Endgame.

So what do we know? Claudia is quite possibly the most powerful dark mage in the world. She’s chosen to continue aligning herself with Viren and Viren alone. Soren is a strategist driven by duty, and is surrounded by other warriors of similar mind and similar or even better skill. Unless a new threat emerges beyond the alliance of Viren and Aaravos (which isn’t impossible, of course), the two siblings are in direct opposition to one another. Claudia must live with the fact that her brother was willing to kill their father, and has left her to pick up the pieces. Soren must live with the fact that he was willing to kill their father, and that Claudia’s manipulation is what drove him to it.

The two of them have also, believe it or not, grown up with vastly different influences during their formative years. Differences in treatment from Viren aside, there’s an implication that Claudia and Soren have been on separate paths for a long time. Claudia is clearly Viren’s favorite - he has actual conversations with her, listens to her questions and attempts to answer them (whether the answers or truthful or not is another issue). Meanwhile, Viren puts very little effort into understanding Soren. Likely, he believes he already does, as Soren isn’t, shall we say, the most complicated of individuals. So, Claudia gets private tutoring under her father, and academic and intellectual training that Viren can relate to and challenge and encourage. Meanwhile, Soren, the family jock, goes into the castle guard. It’s not clear what all this would entail, but I imagine he trained with other recruits for a time in his own age group, reported to a commander or other superior officer, and probably received some sort of advanced training when it became clear he was a prodigy in his own right - after all, it’s not your average eighteen-year-old who is placed in charge of the security of a monarch. To sum up, Claudia was favored and likely spoiled to some degree by her father, whereas Soren excelled in military boot camp, which requires recruits to learn how to carry their own weight and take responsibility for protecting others in a very different sense than Viren’s supposed dedication to the realm.

Narratively speaking, despite first impressions, Claudia is the sibling with more cards stacked against her. She is falling faster and faster towards the point of no return with dark magic, whereas Soren has fought for every inch of his venture into the light. I’m anticipating larger confrontation between the two siblings than what we have seen so far. My heart breaks for both of them, but when I think of how future generations of humans and elves will tell the story of the Dragon Prince, these tragic siblings will fill one of the most resonant threads of the epic.

Ezran rode into the throne room that was his by birthright on the back of a massive, black-furred beast whom he charmed into loyalty. Rayla tackled a madman off of the highest peak in Xadia, and Callum dove selflessly after her. Claudia raised her father from the dead. Soren crossed miles of hostile territory in a single night to warn the Dragon Prince of a coming army.

There is a story being told here. Sometimes, history repeats, and sometimes, it rhymes. Cycles are meant to be broken, but only time will tell how Claudia and Soren handle the one they’re trapped in.

Can I just say, though?

Claudia is going to make one hell of an epic villain.

Bring it on.

[crackimagines]

Remember the sothis paralogue? Can you do that for the Child!Byleth AU

Child!Byleth Post Masterlist here!

(Byleth) 

“RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIIIVES!”

-----

Tales of the Red Canyon (FE: Three Houses Short Fic)

Child!Byleth Professor AU

Sothis and Byleth travel back to the Red Canyon due to some loose ends the two have with the location, and Dimitri, Claude, and Edelgard, alongside their classmates, follow them...

-----

Sothis stood from her throne, pacing back and forth desperately trying to recall the name of the canyon they fought the bandits at.

Desperate to remember, she called Byleth’s name and summoned him to her throne. Although he was asleep physically, he still seemed extremely drowsy in his head.

“Ah, there you are child!”

“Ugh, what is it...?”

He rubbed his eye as she reached for her head in annoyance.

“This is frustrating me to no end! Do you recall the canyon where you first fought with the children?”

“...Zanado?”

“Ah, yes, Zanado!”

“What about it, Sothis?”

“Well, that place brought back fragments of my memory! I cannot help but wonder why. I feel we must return to find the answer there!”

“I see...Well, considering tomorrow is a freeday and it’s only a day’s trip, I suppose that’ll be fine.”

“Good! We shall leave in the morning then!”

Byleth nodded, and he disappeared from Sothis’s throne room.

The next morning, Byleth woke up early in the morning and headed out the gates, carrying the Sword of the Creator with him.

As he left, Dimitri slowly stepped from behind a pillar and watched him walk off to who knew where.

(Dimitri) “...I’m assuming you’re curious as well, Claude?”

Claude stepped out of a dark corner and stood besides Dimitri.

(Claude) “Yup. Not like the little teach just to walk off anywhere without saying something. What do you think, Edelgard?”

Edelgard walked behind them crossing her arms and furrowing her brow.

(Edelgard) “It is quite odd, indeed. I suggest we tell the others and pursue.”

(Claude) “I’ll keep an eye on Teach then. Go get the guys.”

Edelgard and Dimitri nodded, running to the dorms while Claude slowly tailed Byleth.

Much Later...

(Sothis) “It’s...all coming back to me. These structures...Oh, but it’s as if my memories are clouded. The most important places obscured...”

(Byleth) “Are you able to tell what kind of place this is, Sothis?”

(Sothis) “I...once called it home. But, I have no idea why. Perhaps it’s on the other side of this wall?”

(Byleth) “Hmph. All right then, let’s-”

GRAAAAAAGGGGHHH!

(Sothis) “Huh?! What was that awful noise?!”

(Byleth) “Beasts. From the sounds of it, it’s no ordinary one either.”

He pulled out his sword and turned around, seeing a massive creature coming from the entrance.

It was also then he heard footsteps behind him.

(Dimitri) “PROFESSOR!”

The Blue Lions, Black Eagles, and Golden Deer classes stood side by side, getting into formation with their weapons drawn.

(Byleth) “What the, what are you all doing here?!”

(Edelgard) “I’d like to ask the same, professor but I do not think we can afford much time to ask!”

(Claude) “Yeah, plenty of beasts are coming from where you entered. This oughtta be fun!”

As he saw the overwhelming odds, Byleth calmly asked Sothis inside his head, 

Sothis, you got the info we needed, right?

(Sothis) “Y-Yes!”

Good.

(Byleth) “Everyone, listen up! I have a plan.”

Everyone turned to see their tiny professor with a calm face. Awaiting their next orders, everyone nodded.

(Byleth) “Now, first things first, no one abandons each other, got that?”

(Edelgard) “Of course!”

(Dimitri) “We’re going to have to fight together, right?”

(Byleth) “No, it involves using our legs!”

Everyone looked at him funny, but the fact his face didn’t move a muscle meant that he was serious. Patiently, they waited for him to continue.

(Claude) “Whatever it involves, we’ll be right behind you teach!”

Byleth took a deep breath as he calmly stepped in front of the classes, looking over all of them as the beasts drew closer.

He activated the whip and took out a massive pillar behind him, separating the view from the monsters coming at them and when it landed, Byleth shoved everyone he could in front of him backwards.

And then, his calm face erupted into pure panic.

“EVERYONE, WE GOTTA BOOK IT! GET MOVING, DAMN IT!”

At first everyone was confused from the shoving until they heard the pillar move behind them.

Then, Bernadetta was the one to shout common sense.

(Bernadetta) “WHAT ARE WE STILL DOING HERE? R-RUN!”

(Dorothea) “I-I’m with Bernie! GET THE BUTTS MOVING PEOPLE!”

(Petra) “I AM GO!”

(Ferdinand) “B-But I can’t prove my superi-”

(Hubert) “IF YOU HAVE TIME TO SHOUT IDIOTIC THINGS, THEN YOU HAVE TIME TO RUN!”

(Caspar) “I-I WANTED EXERCISE TODAY, BUT NOT LIKE THIS!”

(Linhardt) “I DIDN’T WANT TO EXERCISE AT ALL!”

(Mercedes) “B-Byleth?!”

(Annette) “MERCIE, GO!”

(Ashe) “Oh dear...!”

(Sylvain) “Are you serious?!”

(Felix) “I came here to fight, not ru-”

(Ingrid) “GET YOUR ASSES MOVING YOU TWO OR I SWEAR I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF!”

(Dedue) “Your highness, we must make haste!”

(Hilda) “WHY DIDN’T WE JUST CALL OUT THE PROFESSOR’S NAME BEFORE WE GOT HERE?!”

(Marianne) “P-Please stop shouting and run!”

(Raphael) “IGNATZ, HOP ON! WE GOTTA GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE!”

(Ignatz) “B-But...! Ugh, I can’t run that fast anyway, LET’S GO RAPHAEL!”

(Lysithea) “This is your greatest strategy!? RUN AWAY?!”

(Lorenz) “You may question his logic, but I for one completely agree with it!”

(Leonie) “LESS TALKING, MORE RUNNING?!”

(Dimitri) “B-Byleth?! U-UH! RIGHT, EVERYONE LET’S MOVE!”

(Edelgard) “What kind of sick joke is this?! He acted all calm and that’s the answer he provides?!”

(Claude) “In hindsight, I probably should’ve seen this coming when he said use our legs instead of fighting!”

(Byleth) “QUIT PISSING AROUND AND GO!”

The House leaders jumped at his aggressiveness, but agreed. All three houses ran in complete terror as a unified whole.

(Sothis) “WHAT KIND OF PLAN IS THIS, BYLETH?!”

A GOOD PLAN, NOW SHUT UP AND MAKE SURE EVERYONE’S SAFE! WE’RE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THIS DEATH TRAP!

(Sothis) “W-Well...! Thank you for helping me with my memori-”

YEAH YEAH, NO PROBLEM! SHUT UP AND LET ME FOCUS!

Although she was in as much terror as Byleth she couldn’t help but smile a bit. He went through all this trouble for Sothis’s sake.

She’d have to remember to thank him when everyone wasn’t screaming in horror as colossal beasts chased them.