#(( the two paintings referenced here are from the 90s anime ))

[astrcthesiai-archived]

"You're so cool! I want to become a manga artist and a voice actress when I grow up". ( to Michiru from Yui )

Michiru smiled at the younger girl. There was a faint flush glittering her cheeks from the girl's compliment. She was vaguely reminded of Usagi. She closed her eyes, and opened them again, to tuck a strand of aqua hair behind her ear. A small smile reached Michiru's lips.

"Thank you," she answered. "It'll be a lot of work," she said as she glanced at one of her older artworks. It was a whale leaping out of the water in space. Another was a storm and rogue wave at sea. She glanced at her newer work. It was happier than her former works, dolphins leaping out of the water towards a moonlit palace in the distance. It was a representation of her hope for a peaceful future for the Moon Kingdom and that of Earth's inhabitants.

She smiled at the brunette again. "I'm sure you have what it takes to become both. What genre of story do you have in mind first?" There were all kinds, from shounen to shoujo.

[rallamajoop]

Some musings on symbiote morphology (AKA when size does matter)

So, back when Venom was still in cinemas, I saw it with a friend who (like me) enjoyed it mightily -- though said friend did roll her eyes pretty hard at the She-Venom scene, because of course the female!Venom has to be skinny and sexy. Of course she does.

I mean, the sexual dimorphism on display here is, uh... pretty extreme.

Usually, this would’ve gotten to me too. Few issues in genre film stick in my craw like the double standards applied to male and female bodies (ask me my thoughts on the likes of Wonder Woman or Gamora at your peril). So it was a little surprising to find that this was one I was mostly willing to shrug off.

Why? Well, that requires a bit of backing up and some more context. But mostly, it’s the perfect jumping-off point for a whole lot of rambling about visual shorthands and how symbiote morphology has been handled in the comics over the years, which apparently I had a whole essay’s worth of thoughts on. So here we go.

Now, Comic!Venom =/= Movie!Venom. They aren’t the same character, don’t have the same history, and their biology doesn’t follow the same rules.  But one is still the basis for the other, so we’re going to start waayyy back at the beginning.

Since the symbiote's introduction back in '84, precious little about the species has remained consistent through the many writers and retcons, but one detail that Marvel was -- mostly -- consistent on back in the early days is that the shape a symbiote takes depends a lot on the body of its host. So when Spider-man was wearing the symbiote the result was (by design) literally just Spider-man-but-in-black:

But Venom's next host did not have the muscularly-lean body of Peter Parker, he had the jacked-up muscle-mountain that was Eddie Brock’s -- and the result is the Venom we all know and love.

Whereas when completely-normal-human-woman Anne Weying first bonds with the Venom symbiote in Sinner Takes All, we get a much slimmer She-Venom.

You can see the same trends at work with the Life Foundation Five and various other examples. So, in the comics at least, there’s some internal consistency explaining why He-Venom and She-Venom should look so very different. (Why Eddie and Anne should be such wildly different sized humans is a whoooole other topic, but best left in the Don’t Get Me Started pile for now.)

Of course, when the guy you've cast as Eddie has the physique of Tom Hardy rather than, say, He-Man, the logic of why Venom looks so huge falls apart. 

  ⬥ Venom and She-Venom, actual size comparison.

While comic book writers of the 80's may have been able to convince a generation of fans not to question why a professional journalist would be jacked enough to dwarf Captain America, film adds a layer of realism and audience expectations that would make that a much harder sell (not to mention limiting your casting options to a much smaller pool). Casting Tom Hardy was inarguably the right call. 

If Eddie no longer looked like Venom, the other solution would have been to make Venom look more like Tom Hardy--but good luck getting that past the existing fanbase. When it comes to pleasing the longtime fans, it's safe to say that Venom, not Eddie, is the character who has to look the part. Plus, Venom is entirely CG, so casting and realism no longer have to matter. Fanboys can have their giant Venom and tiny She-Venom, and the fangirls can have Tom Hardy getting all prettily roughed up. There are worse solutions.

Don't get me wrong: they could and absolutely should have evened up the difference on screen by giving She-Venom some extra body mass (she is on screen for like ten seconds, the fanboys can effing deal). But when the key decision that fucked up those ratios is making Eddie so much slimmer and sexier than he was originally supposed to be, I am unusually willing to give them a tentative pass. I mean, I love comics!Eddie too, but I can’t see him working on screen.

While I’m talking symbiote-bodies, it’s worth going into some of the other reasons to make Eddie+symbiote so huge, the obvious ones being to a) make him more threatening, and b) emphasise that Eddie's bonded with the symbiote in a way Peter never did. As a shape-shifter, Venom can make his host look bigger but not smaller (which is presumably why Rad Eddie may look younger than regular!Eddie, but is still suspiciously large for a skateboarder hanging with teens).

But size isn't the only way to make a character like Venom threatening. Compare Carnage, who is much more dangerous than Venom -- but (along with his host) fairly consistently drawn as smaller and leaner than the original.

He's still plenty threatening, though -- not because he's huge, but because he's completely bugfuck nuts and into murder for recreation. His design gets this across with a texture less like skin than a mass of veins and tentacles. Size is a good visual shorthand for danger, but it's not the only shorthand that works for symbiotes of the 90′s heyday.

You can see the same logic at work in Toxin too (a lesser-known and sadly mistreated Carnage-spawn from the early 00's). Precious little about Toxin's look remained consistent from one creative team to the next, but the impact of the host body is still there. His first host, Pat Mulligan, was a pretty average-sized dude, which is reflected in his bonded form (left), but when Eddie gets the Toxin symbiote later on, we get a much bigger Toxin (right). And Eddie's Toxin has more tentacles and rougher skin, so we know he's not going to be friendly (Eddie was really not in a good place at this point in his history).

Perhaps the most interesting example is Agent Venom, who turns up when the military bonds the Venom symbiote to Flash Thompson: disabled vet and card-carrying Spidey fan. His Venom-look is a brilliant bit of storytelling-through-design: the face and overall build hearkens back to Spider-man's time in the symbiote, the equipment signposts his military connections (past and present), and black will always be the signifier of a guy working black ops.

Perhaps most important, there's no mouth (compare both Spidey and Toxin #1), which is our sign that the symbiote's under control -- drugged into submission by the military, in fact.

But key to Flash's time in the role is that the Venom symbiote doesn't always stay drugged and docile, and whenever it starts to break free, Agent Venom morphs into Venom's traditional look -- gaping mouth, no belts or shoulder pads, and lots of bulky muscles a la the original flavour Eddie Brock (you can see him mid-transformation on the left below).

Does that make sense, when Flash is the host? Probably not, but comic book logic, as usual, is suspended for the sake of visual shorthand: fans know what Venom is "supposed" to look like, so that's what he looks like when the comic wants to telegraph that Flash is losing control. And that, I suspect, is why Lee Price's Venom (above right) looks more like Eddie's, even though Lee Price looks more like Flash. Price may be the one in charge, but he’s also a madman, so his Venom has to look out of control. The comics have officially hit Tom Hardy territory: Venom is huge now because people have come to expect Venom to look like the original Eddie-Brock!Venom, regardless of who’s inside.

There are bigger exceptions to the rule, however -- two of the more interesting turned up almost simultaneously in 2015, when both Venom!Flash and Toxin!Eddie got significant redesigns in the pages of Venom: Space Knight and Carnage (2015). Now Flash's Venom is the bulky muscular one, while Eddie's Toxin looks slimmer than Eddie has ever been before or since. What's going on here? Did the artists just screw up?

Well, not entirely -- the characters haven't just flipped looks, they've flipped roles. Now Toxin's the one being drugged into submission by a US agency (and we can only assume those drugs somehow prompt a symbiote to produce pouches, because we're two-for-two on that front). Meanwhile, Venom's been "purged of corruption" and has finally bonded with Flash as a full partner, which may be why they opted for something closer to his original look. Note that Venom has no mouth, and Toxin's is positively restrained by symbiote standards, which tells you a lot about the temperament we can expect from both of them.

That said, I don't think either design really works. Venom's new look is a real step back in creativity from his Agent Venom days, and the helmet-face would be better suited to a mech design than a symbiote who's being treated as a real character for the first time. Meanwhile, Toxin’s look doesn't really work for Eddie, for all the same reasons it did work for Flash: Eddie isn't a trusted agent in this scenario, he's more like an intelligent animal on a short leash. It isn't just the builds that are wrong -- none of the story comes across well in these designs.

All in all, the longer Venom’s been around, the less the standard host=symbiote rules seem to apply. Venom is huge because his look is sufficiently iconic that that’s what the fans expect, regardless of who’s on the inside, or whether we’ve just rewritten his entire backstory and made the jump to film.

Speaking of which, it’s worth pointing out that there is actually precedent in the comics for female symbiotes who aren't drawn like a bikini model in a layer of black body paint. One is Patricia Robertson, who bonds with the "Venom" symbiote (read: not actually the Venom symbiote) in the 2003 Venom series.

Though Trish is a woman of fairly average build, her "Venom" is virtually indistinguishable from Eddie's (too much so, if anything -- it's very hard to tell which is which when they clash). Unfortunately, the 2003 series is otherwise an ugly, incomprehensible mess of a comic, containing almost nothing that has ever been referenced again. I can really only recommend it to absolute completists.

Somewhat better handled is Tarna, a skrull Agent of the Cosmos who appears in Venom: Space Knight. Tarna's symbiotic look is not remotely feminine, and one suspects that's the point: it's ugly, threatening, and gives no clue as to who's inside. (Her symbiote can also separate from her while maintaining form, making the comparison pic unusually easy for me).

But as a shapeshifting alien bonded to a shapeshifting symbiote, Tarna perhaps doesn't make the best example for general principles. It’s worth keeping in mind that every design has a storytelling function too: Patricia’s Venom needs to be mistakable for the original Venom for plot reasons, and the reveal that Tarna is a humanoid woman under her symbiote is set up as a surprise. But the creators of the film wanted us to know that was Anne under the symbiote from the moment she appeared, so sexy!She-Venom it is.

All that said, at the very end of the day, I’d much rather not have to make these excuses for the film. I’d much rather see more Tarnas and fewer She-Venom’s, and both film and comics have a long way to go before we get there yet.

[paulisweeabootrash]

2020 mini-review pack

Di Gi Charat (1999)

Episodes watched: 7

Platform: VRV (Hidive)

Di Gi Charat (pronounced like “carrot”) is a series of fast-paced 4-ish-minute shorts nominally about Dejiko and Rabi-en-Rose, rivals trying to be Earth’s greatest idol.  Who are, respectively, a catgirl and a bunnygirl.  Oh, and also they’re aliens?  That’s... uh... certainly a premise, I guess.  The actual show consists of self-contained gag-filled episodes with no ongoing story, in almost a sitcom kind of way, throwing the characters into situations without context, but with a stable “baseline” situation (unlike, say, Pop Team Epic, where the characters serve more as stock personalities playing different roles in different sketches).  Dejiko is a snarky schemer.  Rabi-en-Rose is a snarky schemer whose main activity seems to be bothering Dejiko at work.  Puchiko is a small and quiet child and behaves accordingly.  And Gema is... something?  I have no clue, honestly, and neither does the fan wiki.  Other recurring characters fill stock roles such as “manager” and “otaku”.  A lot of the humor centers around poking fun at fandom.  It’s a show by, for, and about otaku from an era before our current internet culture, and since I’m a millennial and not from Japan, that makes it unusually hard to evaluate.

W/A/S: 8/2?/5?

Weeb: Chibis.  Catgirls.  Idols.  Kappas.  Kawaii verbal tics.  Akihabara.  Low-detail background characters who look like blobs or thumbs with faces.  Kanji left on-screen but untranslated.  Particular sorts of highly-exaggerated facial expressions we may have become familiar with through emoji, but which still haven’t made their way into American media generally.  This is ludicrously Japanese.

Ass: This really isn't that kind of show.  Although it is certainly designed for adults, as evidenced by the presence of phrases like “naughty doujinshi”.

Shit: The art is fun.  It has style shifts from comic strip to watercolor painting to mainstream 90s anime, and looks better than some of its contemporaries that were, uh, “real” shows.  The opening takes up about a quarter of the total runtime and gets annoying quickly (but that's because it’s clearly designed for being part of a broadcast block, not binge-watching).  Still, unless I’m missing hidden cleverness on account of not having the background knowledge, there’s not much to it.  It’s just okay.

-----

First Astronomical Velocity (band, active 2011-present)

Platform: Spotify, surprisingly

Okay, this one is a bit different, and I’m jettisoning the whole format for it.  Remember how I said the music-centered episodes of SoniAni were actually pretty good, even though the modeling-centered episodes were so offputting I never finished the show?  Well it turns out that First Astronomical Velocity, Sonico’s band, has released several IRL albums.  Physical copies may be a little hard to come by, but official uploads of a lot of their music can be found on Youtube and Spotify.  Do your musical interests include at least two of: string arrangements that would be at home in a particularly sappy movie soundtrack, 90s-00s alternative rock, synthesizer beep-boops, and that constricted cutesy Japanese women’s vocal style (you know the one I mean)?  Then this is for you.  They’re a pretty good... uh... alt-pop-rock band, I guess is what I’d call them.

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Interspecies Reviewers (2020)

Episodes watched: the entire 12-episode season

Platform: I plead the 5th.  But it’s getting a video release soon, so it will finally be legitimately available in English!

I started this year with a plot-light fanservicey animal-people show, and now I’m ending the year with... a plot-light fanservicey animal-people show.  But unlike Nekopara, this show had me cracking up, eagerly clicking “next episode”, and not complaining about the premise.  I’m sure a lot of people do have a problem with this show’s premise -- which centers almost entirely on various forms of sex work -- and I understand and respect that they will want to skip this show.

But for the rest of you: Interspecies Reviewers is a wildly-NSFW comedy about a group of fantasy world adventurers who gain fame and fortune reviewing brothels of different species.  I expected excessive nudity and fantasy tropes, but I didn’t expect to also get serious thoughts.  Like showing, in the golem and Magic Metropolis episodes, some of the unsettling problems that are looming IRL as deepfakes and sex robots are in development -- note especially the contrast between consensually and non-consensually basing automata on real people in those episodes.  Or the discussion in the last episode of how much riskier sex would be in a world without magic (i.e., ours).  This is a much smarter and more interesting show than you’d expect, considering that it has so much sexual content that it got dropped by two of the networks airing it and even its US distributor.

W/A/S: 5/10/4

Weeb: Although heavily influenced by the Western fantasy media canon of European mythology and Tolkien and tabletop RPGs, familiarity with the tropes of fantasy anime will help you “get” this too, as will familiarity with the -sigh- character dynamics and censorship practices of hentai.  Especially because it’s a comedy, there are probably also instances where I have completely missed topical references or wordplay that a Japanese person would get, but I can’t think of any specific instances right now of “there was clearly supposed to be a joke but I missed it”.

Ass: Look, this could not possibly have more sexual content without unambiguously becoming porn.  Genitals are (almost) always carefully hidden by viewing angle or conveniently-placed glowing (something lampshaded in one episode as an actual feature of one of the species they review), but otherwise, expect lots of nudity and almost nonstop crude humor.  Do not watch this with children.  Do not watch this with your parents.  Do not watch this with friends you don’t know well enough to know how they’ll react to something like this.

Shit: This show is better-made than it deserves to be.  It’s pretty dumb at points, but it’s fun enough to make up for it.  The art is consistent and pleasant, and the opening and ending themes are extremely fun, but it’s not a serious standout in any of those departments.  Also, I swear the background music is stock music, but I don’t remember what other show(s) I’ve heard it in before.

Stray thought: Crim is a precious and relatable cinnamon roll and I love them.

-----

OreSuki OVA (2020)

Platform: Crunchyroll

So, I know I didn’t cover the whole season in my initial review, but I still want to mention the hour-ish-long finale of this show, which was released straight to streaming.  Short version of the rest of the season: Joro starts to actually fall for Pansy, but a new challenger, Hose, appears.  He is irritatingly attractive and effortless at maintaining the right persona for the situation, leading Joro to describe him as “the main character”.  Hose is the sociopathic manipulator Joro wishes he could be, and Pansy, who has a bad past with him, clearly wants nothing more than for Joro to stand up to him.  But, since this is OreSuki, it’s not going to be handled simply.  No, instead, strap in for a grand finale of Joro and Hose competing in, and trying to manipulate through rules-lawyering, an absolutely ludicrous competition to win the right to date Pansy.  And, on top of it, we also get to finally see how Sun-chan got to be the way he is and what happened at that pivotal baseball game that set off the whole plot.  What has Joro learned from the experiences of the past season?  You’ll see!  And you’ll facepalm about it!

Really, you must watch this if you watched the regular season.

W/A/S: 6/5(!)/4ish

Weeb: Basically the same as I said before.  Gags referencing other Japanese media, anime and otherwise, and it's better if you’re familiar with the high school romcoms and harem comedies Joro thinks in terms of.

Ass (and slight content note): -sigh- Why does the camera need to be there?  Also, Joro, you just committed a little bit of sexual assault for the sake of this contest.  Stop.

Shit: I want to rate this overall better than I did the regular season because I think it’s an excellent finale overall because, even though it ends in a very “let’s leave everything unresolved” way that’s common in media that rely on absurd relationships to propel the plot, it does so in a way that makes sense in character.  I personally think it would’ve been stronger if it had, well, confirmed its title, and at least some of the other “challengers” had lost interest in Joro, but I guess they probably want a Season 2, since they have so much more source material to work from.  There are... oh god 14 light novels?!  That is too many.

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Your Name. (2016)

Platform: DVD

Two high schoolers -- small-town girl Mitsuha, from Itomori, and big-city boy Taki, from Tokyo -- find themselves in each other’s bodies for a day.  They both think at first it must be a very vivid dream, but when it happens again, and they start finding clues like notes they don’t remember writing and comments by friends and relatives about their out-of-character behavior, they realize the body swap is real.  This begins a relationship of mutual understanding that nobody else can really understand -- or would even believe (except Mitsuha’s grandmother, who is... familiar with this phenomenon) -- and the plot then pivots to a tense adventure where they use their connection, some crucial information Taki has, the skills of Mitsuha’s friends, and the intervention of Itomori’s patron deity, to save the town from an impending disaster.

And that’s all I’ll say about that, because I really do think this is something you should go into blind.  My only remaining comments are that (1) the red string of fate is critically important imagery, and is particularly interesting to me here because, if I took a particular scene correctly, Mitsuha made her own red string of fate from sheer necessity, which is a very different twist on that trope, and (2) I am now curious about the history of the body-swapping phenomenon in-universe.

W/A/S: 4?/2/2

Weeb: As mentioned above, symbolism of the Red String of Fate shows up throughout the movie, as do the occasional distinctly Japanese quirk like a wildly out-of-place vending machine or a café with dogs, and but for the most part it’s a cross-cultural story of understanding and dealing with someone else’s life, and of forming a connection other people don’t -- can’t -- truly understand, and to some extent of divides between urban and rural and modern and traditional that I think could play out in any country with just the local symbolism tweaked.  The significance and content of Shinto beliefs and practices depicted, particularly kuchikamizake, are made pretty explicit, so although foreign to the vast majority of the non-Japanese audience, I feel like this movie also has nearly no barrier to entry for people not familiar with the cultural context, so I don’t want to rate it very high on this scale.

Ass: Look.  It involves teenagers switching bodies.  What do you think they do?  Especially Taki?  But it’s played for laughs, not titillation.

Shit: This movie is beautiful and punched me in the feels and was very satisfying.  The closest I have to a complaint about any aspect of it is that the musical breaks that I guess are supposed to mark acts of the movie almost make it feel like binge-watching a short series instead of watching a single self-contained movie.

[mysticsparklewings]

Ziggy Crossing

Still not quite sure I'm 100% back into the swing of things (posting regularly and being more present) yet, but time will tell. For now I'm testing the waters. Anyway. In the time I've been away, I ended up talking to some friends about (to the surprise of absolutely no one) Animal Crossing, and in that conversation, the idea of drawing my cat, Ziggy, as an Animal Crossing villager came up. I'd toyed with it before after seeing some other people draw their pets as villagers, and that conversation more or less sealed the deal for me to at least try it, even if my attempt didn't pan out and see the light of day. Obviously, things went pretty well because here I am posting this. The first step, as it is 90% of the time for me, was to come up with a sketch and go from there. I primarily used Olivia and Lolly [pre-existing Animal Crossing cat villagers] as my references--Olivia for the pose and eyes, Lolly for the stripes and some details regarding the ears and face--but I also checked certain things across the various cat villager models so that details could be consistent where they needed to be. I think if I missed the mark anywhere, it's probably in the proportions. Namely the size of the head and length of the body. But I think it's close enough that unless you compare it directly to Olivia's model that I referenced for the pose, the proportions aren't so off that it's distracting or off-putting. I did originally have trouble figuring out what pattern to put on her shirt though because the real Ziggy doesn't really have anything I could pull a pattern from. These days she does wear a white and silver collar, but that's not a whole lot to work with. So I left that alone while I pondered how I wanted to go about coloring the whole thing. My plan at the beginning was to use this sketch as a test piece for some acrylic paint markers I recently acquired (which you will be seeing me talk about in the future), but once the sketch was finished and I went back to check the colors I had (you know me; gotta have a swatch chart for everything), it was pretty obvious that if I want this to be my dear Ziggy and not just a random tabby cat, I needed to figure out a different coloring method. I could have just done regular acrylic paint, but that sounded like a chore and thus I was not interested. Same with gouache. Colored pencils were on the table, but the main problem I have with those is that they can be pretty slow and personally I think their texture really lends them better to replicating the 3DS/Animal Crossing: New Leaf style, as opposed to the look of New Horizons, and that's not what I was going for here. That left me with two main options: Watercolor, which was a hard pass for this kind of art (at least for Ziggy herself), and alcohol markers, which I did use quite a bit on the last Animal Crossing artwork I made, and they had worked out fairly well. Alcohol markers it was! Of course, even after that decision was made, there was the issue of how to handle the lines of the drawing. When I was planning on using the paint pens/acrylic markers/whatever, that seemed a lot simpler because, in theory, I could just use the same pen I wanted to color with to do the outlines and then fill them in. And because that would be using mostly opaque paint, if I needed to I could just cover up any overlap with relative ease. Alcohol markers don't play by the same rules though, so I had to re-think all that. In the end, I pulled out a pale warm gray Polychromos pencil close to the main color of alcohol marker that I had picked out that I figured would also be light enough to blend in everywhere else. That way I could have the defining lines that I needed without having to worry too much about them being visible in the final product. [For clarification: I picked a Polychromos because once sharpened they tend to hold a point longer and better than the other colored pencils at my disposal and I really needed to keep a sharp point as long as possible to do the lines here.] In retrospect, I do think it might have been to my benefit to pick out a pink for doing the inner ear lines, but the end result there isn't so awful that it single-handedly (paw-ed-ly?) ruins the drawing for me. It's just something to take note of for next time if there is a "next time." Once I had my lines (including doing the eyelashes and mouth with one of my usual black fineliners), the next challenge was the actual coloring. Mostly because I had to be very careful around the edges so that the marker ink didn't feather out too far (as alcohol markers do on any paper that isn't marketed as "bleed proof" because that's what bleed proof in paper actually means--not that it won't bleed through to the other side, though that is less common with that kind of paper, but that it won't "bleed" across the page), and I also had to be a little careful and choosy about how I did any blending or shading. Again, my blending and shading plan was going to be different had I used the acrylic markers. The main thing I ended up doing here was trying to find areas that needed to be layered so that the one-color shading could act as a line/barrier between sections. Best example: Where the ears meet the head, I shaded the bottom portion of the ears. You can also see this a little bit where Ziggy's tail meets her body and where the legs intersect at a few different points. By no means did this turn out perfectly, considering that I really wanted to stick to use as few colors as possible (which means pretty much all the shading is just layers of one color to darken it) which means there isn't as much distinction or variation as there could be. And I feel it necessary to note here that I was worried when I first finished the lines that the eyes looked wonky, but after coloring pretty much everything else in that concern dissolved because 1. It's harder to tell and 2. Even if they aren't exactly the same, it makes visual sense because it looks like her head is slightly turned, meaning the eyes wouldn't be identical anyway. Never underestimate the power of coloring your work in! Speaking of which, you might be wondering about her shirt by now. Well, after toying around with some ideas I got it in my head that a good way to tackle that problem might be with washi tape, as I've used it in this manner before and worked out pretty nicely. Even though it wasn't a lot to work with, I did like the idea of the base color for her top being white like the real Ziggy's collar, and that narrowed down my tape options considerably. Of the options I had that I thought would be suitable, I ended up having a choice between one with small rainbow-colored polka dots and the decidedly less vibrant small triangles that you see here. The polka dots seemed a little too peppy for Ziggy, so I went with the triangles. And this, I must say, is one of those artistic decisions that I feel even better about the longer that I see the end product.   The main issue I have with using washi tape, and thus why I don't use it in this way that often, is because cutting the washi tape to fit a specific shape is a process that doesn't get much easier even with practice.  And even if it did, that wouldn't eliminate the very real possibility of cutting or indenting the paper underneath while you're cutting the tape. Of which, I have not yet figured out how to totally avoid short of forming the washi tape on a separate piece of paper, cutting it there, and then moving it to the final piece. But that method comes with its own problems too, so... Still, I made the decision to go through with it here and just accept the rough edges/lack of precision and all that. Before I put the tape down though, I did do a little shading with some light gray markers that I was counting on showing through the tape to give it a little more dimension. Seeing it now, I do think I could've stood to go a little darker, but again this isn't something that totally ruins the end result for me. Just something worth noting. After all of the above, I was left with one lingering problem: The background. Which I've noticed seems to normally be a "problem" area for me in that I don't always have a solid idea for what to do with it. I did consider what exactly I wanted to do earlier on in the process, before I started on Ziggy on the final paper, even. Briefly, I thought I might cut her out and put her on a separate background as is sort of a go-to background method for me. Something just didn't feel right about doing that here though and it feels like I've done that a lot lately (you know, when I've not been drowning in mandalas for NaPoWriMo...). So it was at this early stage that I locked in the idea of adding in the background in later, probably doing something kind of loose to give a general idea that hopefully wouldn't take too much time or effort. We've already established that I wasn't super keen on the idea of using acrylic paints or gouache for this drawing, and that remained true for the background too. Although, I don't really like using alcohol markers for backgrounds either because it can be tricky to keep things smooth and consistent. That left me with colored pencils and watercolor. Colored pencils are usually hard pass for backgrounds for me for a number of reasons. So! Watercolor, hmm... I drew Ziggy here on my darling Strathmore 400 series mixed media paper because I love how it handles markers and it has enough weight and texture to it that it handles a lot of my other go-to options with little fuss. Watercolor is really the only thing I have trouble using on it, the main problem being that sometimes (not always) the paint doesn't like to blend out super smoothly and certain watercolor techniques don't work the same on it. This doesn't mean it's useless for watercolor (at least not for me), that just means I have to be more careful about how I choose to work with watercolor on it. In this case, the blending issues lined up with the idea I had of letting the background have more texture since Ziggy came out a lot smoother by the very nature of alcohol markers. Somewhere in all this, the idea struck me to use my Gelatos to leave behind some crayon-like texture. That idea seemed fitting to me since Animal Crossing is a fairly light-hearted and child-friendly game, themes that crayons go along with. The gelatos are water-soluble but not every color dissolves completely when activated with water. This should be pretty evident here because I didn't try to hide it. I wanted quick and easy, and without a doubt just letting the texture do whatever it wants is the quick n' easiest method to use with the gelatos. Once I'd done a bit of back and forth with two greens and two blues to give me the solid suggestions of a sky and ground, it still felt like it was missing something. Ultimately, it seemed like a good idea to me to try and mimic the triangle pattern/texture that New Horizons features. (In past games you could get squares or circles for a grass pattern at random.) And while I as per usual I had to think on how to go about this, in the end, the best solution I could come up with turned out to be drawing the triangles in with alcohol markers. Truly, I'm surprised to be reporting this because I fully expected the creamy nature of the gelatos to make using alcohol markers on top feel disguising and unproductive. But not so! At least not with the limited gelato use here. The creamier areas do soften the color of the marker, but I think that worked to my advantage. Although, I did end up using a little bit of my yellow Moonlight gel pen because I felt like I needed some yellow triangles for balance and I knew transparent yellow markers wouldn't do what I wanted. But that brings us to the final product. I'm happy with it. And I do really like how the grass ties in with Ziggy's green eyes. It's just a nice little touch of visual cohesion in my book. As I always say, I'm sure it's not perfect and there are some missteps here and there or things that could be improved. Nevertheless, it was a fun experiment and serves as good encouragement for me to continue playing with the lineless look, among other things. I do have to note though that it feels super weird to just leave the eyes like this with no indication of shine on them! I made the choice not to since it's not a common trait with the official character models (at least not for eyes in this same style) but part of me still feels like it's incomplete. As I've said before recently and I'll probably say again, I can't promise I'll be getting back to a regular upload schedule now, but it's on my mind. I want to get to that point soon. I do have the acrylic markers I mentioned to talk about and another supply in the mail, and some other art in my backlog. So if you can be patient with me a while longer, there will be more from me to look forward to. In the meantime, please be kind to yourself and others. ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram 

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 12: “You Look Like You’re Having Fun”

My brain’s still kinda fried from the Sarazanmai finale, so my thoughts might not be super coherent or detailed this week, but I still wanna write up my thoughts on this new Fruits Basket episode, especially since it was even better than I expected it to be.

Thoughts under the cut. [Spoiler warning for the whole manga]

I think I’ve said before that by this point we’re in the midst of a fairly good stretch of episodes where the reboot is going to be very similar to the 2001 anime in what material it covers in each episode, and that continues in this one, as I figured.

This episode covers chapters 19 and 20 of the manga, which is the same as what episode 13 of the 2001 anime covered, and from what I remember of that version, the two versions are pretty identical in how they just adapt the manga 1:1, so there’s nothing particularly noteworthy there. I think episode 13 of the 2001 anime was one of the relatively few times where I think they actually did a good job of preserving the emotional depth and darkness of the manga, but I still think this episode did an even better job.

I’m kinda meh about the whole first half [since I’ve never really been the biggest fan of the part of the manga to begin with, which I’ll get into in a minute], but the whole second half with Akito was fantastic. It had been heavily teased at in some of the PVs we’ve gotten, but it still managed to be even more disturbing than I was expecting. It’s not like they added in anything that wasn’t in the manga [aside from a short flashback to that one time Akito had a mental breakdown and painted Yuki’s room black, which I don’t think had been hinted at this early in the manga], but it just executed the material really perfectly. [Though I think the bit at the start of the episode with Tohru seeing Akito’s car pull up at the school might have been a new scene]

The improved voice acting and animation really help drive home the extent of Yuki’s trauma in particular. Even though this is like the billionth time I’ve seen this scene in some form or another, it still kinda shook me, lol.

This whole part also really goes to show how important Tohru is as a person to Yuki, and also to all the other zodiac members in general. She’s someone that’s willing to stand up for him, and to give him happy memories to help outweigh his bad ones. Especially with his whole monologue near the end, I think the badminton scene is probably where he first becomes at least subconsciously aware of how he’s seeking out a mother’s love from her.

Come to think of it, it’s kinda funny how recently we’ve been in a bit of a pattern of going from a fun episode to a more dark one, and so on. It’s not a complaint or anything. I think it does a nice job of not spending too much time in a row on a particular emotional tone. And that sorta pattern should hold up with how the next episode is gonna be Ayame’s introduction, and after that we should get Momiji’s backstory and the grave visit.

And on the note of Ayame’s intro being the focus of the next episode, I’m still curious to see if they incorporate the part where Tohru and Yuki visit his shop in chapter 36 into it, or if they’ll just stick to adapting chapters 21-22 alone, and leave that other chapter for later. I don’t think it’d change much one way or another, but still.

Anyway I guess I gotta address the elephant in the room and say that I’m just not really a big fan of the material covered in the first half of this episode. I don’t hate it, but I just don’t like it as much as like 99% of the fandom seems to.

For one thing, that one Tohru-Kyo scene has always stuck out to me as being a little too . . . generic shojo romance-y for my tastes. It’s one of those few moments where the series unironically indulges in Kyo’s Bad Boy Aesthetic [tm] and it just doesn’t work for me. But I obviously get why lots of people love it.

The part that I’m more annoyed at is the whole sequence with Haru and Momiji’s outfits, and I feel like it’s something that I need to add a whole list of disclaimers to so that people don’t misunderstand me, lol. I just feel like it’s a really good example of how Takaya’s heart is genuinely in the right place when it comes to some of the more progressive sentiments in the series, but the specific angle she approaches certain things at leaves a really bad taste in my mouth, especially when you think about the story as a whole and how things end up.

Specifically I just have issues with how Momiji’s cross-dressing is handled. The part with Haru is fine and I definitely appreciate the whole point of how whether or not someone wears jewelry and piercings and stuff has no inherent bearing on their personality, though the whole bit with him dragging Makoto off to the bathroom, uh . . . maybe hasn’t aged well, lmao. But anyway, I feel like the whole thing with Momiji seems perfectly fine on the surface, but the more you think about it in the context of the whole story, the more it feels uncomfortable.

The message that he should wear whatever he feels comfortable wearing is completely valid, but I just dislike how the story goes about it by saying that ‘it’s fine because he looks good in it, and he’s going to dress normally when he grows up anyway’. There’s a lot going on between the lines here, but I just think it’s really shitty and deceptively regressive that they justify it by pretty much saying ‘don’t worry, it’s just a phase, he’ll grow out of it and dress like a “normal man” later on anyway’. Which is bad enough on it’s own, but then we actually get to see him grow up later in the manga and he definitely does seem to unceremoniously switch to more conventionally masculine fashion because . . . it’s what’s expected of him, I guess? It’s not like he ever seemed to lose interest in wearing feminine clothing, he just stops wearing it after he hits his growth spurt, and it’s framed as something natural and inevitable.

Even the sentiment of ‘he looks good in it, though :)’, in the context of the series as a whole, carries this uncomfortable undertone of ‘it’s fine because for the moment he’s short and looks sort of “like a girl” but once he gets taller and looks more “like a man” he’ll obviously start dressing like one’. It’s the sort of thing that seems like a genuinely progressive and accepting message about how we shouldn’t judge people for the clothes they like to wear, but if you look closely there’s an asterisk and a whole paragraph of fine text at the bottom of the page about how it’s actually only acceptable to cross-dress as a man if your body type, height, etc, make you look ‘like a girl’ in the first place, and that once you hit puberty you should dress like a man because feminine clothing ‘doesn’t fit you anymore’.

In general this series has some weird recurring hang-ups about the specific idea of ‘men wearing girl’s clothing’, to the point where it comes up in different ways with at least three different characters. I know it’s something that a lot of people in the fandom don’t like hearing negativity and complaints about, but I’m not gonna shut up about this, lmao. Y’all just have to deal with the fact that this series isn’t perfect and that I’m allowed to criticize it while also really liking other parts of it.

And on the general note of how the series kinda drops the ball when it comes to pretty much everything to do with gender presentation, this episode brings us another round of the fun game known as ‘the Fruits Basket fandom is in shocked-pikachu.jpg mode at the fact that pretty much every new fan immediately “““figures out”““ that Akito’s a woman’. I wonder what gave it away? Was it that unavoidably female voice? The feminine/androgynous character design that’s explicitly compared to Yuki who’s already meant to look like a girl [apparently]? The fact that we’ve only ever seen Akito wearing either the sort of kimono that at least from a Western perspective would seem very feminine, or this tight-fitting turtleneck sweater? The fact that she’s had romantically/sexually charged moments with at least one or two dudes, which for better or worse ends up making most people view her as being feminine? The fact that like 90% of the dialogue referencing Akito ends up not even using gendered pronouns in the first place? I wonder what could have possibly lead to people naturally assuming that Akito’s a girl and glossing over the, like, five lines of dialogue thus far that even use he/him pronouns toward her, lmao.

One way or another, Akito being a girl has always been the biggest non-twist of the entire series, and the fact that it’s so obvious and that the only reaction new fans have to it is pretty much just ‘oh ok I didn’t really think it was meant to be some kind of shocking surprise or anything’ really just spells out how it’s not even meaningful or interesting as a twist anyway, and that knowing about it from the start does absolutely nothing to hinder anyone’s enjoyment of the series. It’s honestly hard to even tell for new fans that we’re even meant to feel convinced that Akito’s a man, with how little effort the series ever puts into ‘hiding’ her true gender.

I probably sound angrier about this than I am, but mostly I’m just baffled that even though the manga’s been over for like 15 years, people still don’t realize how incredibly lame and shallow this whole plot point is. Like seriously, y’all, what could the reboot have even DONE to actually lead to it not being super obvious that Akito’s a woman? Unless they outright changed her character design to be a lot more masculine, the only thing they could have done would have been to give her a male voice actor, which was almost certainly never going to happen for obvious reasons. I guess what I’m saying is that it’s not like it’s the reboot’s fault that things turned out this way. There’s only so much they reasonably could have done. And even though I haven’t heard much of Akito’s new dub voice, I think Maaya Sakamoto actually does a very good job at sounding androgynous/masculine, and in general her voice work in this episode was really effective and disturbing. I think she’s one of the most masculine-sounding female VAs they could have gone for [aside from maybe someone like Romi Park or Megumi Ogata, but I don’t know if they would have fit Akito very well]. I guess it mostly just bugs me that people are blaming the reboot for something that’s 90% just them following the manga.

Anyway, in spite of my gripes [which are more about the fandom and the series as a whole], this episode was still super good in and of itself, and had some of the most effective voice acting and music that the entire reboot’s had thus far. It’s very obvious why new fans in particular would really really like this one, and for the most part, I do too.

Also, Haru t-posing when he sees Yuki and running over to tug on his shirt is still the most Iconic [tm] thing ever, don’t @ me.

[cabblow-portfolio]

ANIMATION DEFINITIONS

As promised here is my list of Animation and Animation-related definitions that I’ve developed since 2016. Again I’ve compiled these based on my experience, based on conversations with peers, adapting the dictionary, reading news articles and watching online videos. Just another helpful internet resource.

Animation - The technique of creating the illusion of movement through the use of successive drawings, photographs or computer-generated imagery (CGI). See previous post of a breakdown of this definition

Animator - An individual who practises the technique of creating animations.

Frame - In animation, a frame refers to a single picture or image in a series of sequential pictures that form a video or motion picture .

Frame Rate - Refers to the speed at which frames are projected to an audience. Frame rate is measured in frames per second (fps). In animation, the standard frame rates are 24 fps or 12 fps. This means it takes 24 or 12 individual frames to produce one second of animation 

Live Action - A motion picture featuring real people, places, objects, and animals. Animation, on the other hand, uses visual effects and features characters, places, objects and animals that have been created by the animator.

Set (or Film Set)  - A set is a location in which filming is taking place. The set features scenery, furniture, and other objects and accessories that are fitting of that particular environment. These items are often purposefully created for the filming of a particular production. Both animation and live action motion pictures can make use of a set. In animation, a set can be physical (often miniature) or virtual (using digital animation software programs).

Feature-length film - A film that is about 90 minutes or more in length. This applies to both live action and animation films.

Key Pose - A pose in animation refers to a character’s body language, facial expression, and overall attitude. Key poses are the main poses of a character’s action or an object’s motion that make up the overall animation.  These are also known as extremes (Johnston & Thomas, 1981: 64; Williams, 2001: 48). I referenced the book Disney Animation - The Illusion of Life for this one - page 64 & The Animator’s Survival Kit pg 48

Breakdown - A pose in between two key poses or extreme that further describes a character action or an object’s motion (Pontoja, 2017). Check out Toniko Pontoja’s YouTube channel. He explains this very well.

In-between - An In-between, also spelt Inbetween, is a single pose or a series of poses used to finalise a piece of animation and create smooth or fluid motion. In-betweens have subtle changes from one frame to the next, whereas key poses and breakdowns have extreme changes from one pose to the next. 

Supervising Animator - An animator that leads a team of animators in achieving a particular performance within a piece of character or effects animation. The supervising animator oversees entire sequences of animation and is charge of leading the entire performance of a single specific character. (See page 160 of Disney Animation - The Illusion of Life). The supervising animator reports to the director and helps to guide the animation team towards the director’s vision and goal for the animated production.

Weight - Showing the effect of gravity on an object or character

Balance - Having natural asymmetry and a believable distribution of weight and sizing proportions. If there is imbalance in a design, it must be an active drawing choice with specific intentions

Depth - Showing a character or object in space, especially perspective drawing

Visualisation -  The experience of imagining or creating a physical representation of an imagined idea or image. The process of imagining the final result of an animated production. I had help from the good old fashioned dictionary with this one.

Concept Art - Artwork specifically created to represent an idea. Concept art often takes the form of an illustration, but it can also be in the form of sketches, paintings, or built models. Concept art can be created traditionally - through analogue media such as paint, pencils, or clay - or digitally, through design software. (Also have a look at this link - could be useful)

Animatic (or Story Reel) - A rough draft of an animated sequence or live-action film. It is made up of: images from a storyboard, rough audio, dialogue, and sound effects. Its purpose is to visualise the story of an animated production before stepping into the animation process. It is useful for introducing new ideas to a production and gaining feedback before full-colour animation. See also Disney Animation - The Illusion of Life pg 211

Visual Development - The formal process of visualising an animated production. Visual development involves the use of various digital and traditional techniques to determine the overall look and mood of an animated production (Also have a look at this link - could be useful).

Pre-production - All of the preparatory work done in the early phases of the production of an animation. It is a vital step in visualising the final animation. The process involves steps such as: character design, concept art, storyboarding, prop design, and animatics or story reels.

Export - To transfer all the frames of an animation created in an animation program into a format that is playable in another animation programs or using a video player.  Exporting animations allows the animator to share the animation as a closed file, meaning the animation is final and no longer editable 

THAT’S IT FOR NOW. MIGHT COME BACK AND UPDATE THIS LIST IN THE FUTURE.

- Cabblow

[solastia]

Kitten Addition  | 2

Read This Part First: My Puppy [1] [2] [3]

Kitten Addition: [1]

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, Jimin x Reader, Taehyung x Jimin

Word Count: 3,571

Genre & Warnings: Mentions of cancer, referenced smut. 

Notes: Ok, so this chapter is mostly plot building, so there’s no dirty smut. There is a scene I was thinking about going back and adding some time, so you may have an excuse to reread eventually. I’ll let you guys know when I get around to doing that. There are bits of teasing and hints of smuttish activity, but yeah, this is Y/N going through some shit. Also, it turned out more Jungkook centric than planned, but it’s still good. I just know how much you guys have been wanting to read this so after rewriting it like five times, I’m rushing it out. Don’t worry. The next chapter is all about Jimin and his peach ;)

“Rise and shine, Y/N!”

A deep and overly excited voice rumbled in my ear before I felt him move down to bury his nose in my neck. He places sweet little kisses there, making all thoughts of beating him with a pillow flee my mind. With a groan I manage to crack my eyes open, sunlight from the opened window practically blinding me. The offensive light is thankfully blocked when Taehyung’s shaggy head moves into my view, his boxy smile wide and happy. 

“Fine, I’m rising. I refuse to shine until I’ve had my coffee though.” I manage to croak out, voice still thick from sleep. 

“I bet if I rise I can make you shine,” Taehyung smirked, leaning down to peck me on the lips. 

“Ugh, it’s too early to be a greaseball. Now I need incentive to get up because you may have just ruined my morning entirely.” I tease as I wrap my legs around his waist and suck on the already fading bruise I’d put on his jaw the night before. 

“You make me so happy,” I whisper, nosing his face playfully. 

Taehyung lets out a low growl and nips at my neck, moving down slowly. Both of us freeze in shock as we are disrupted by the doorbell. 

“Who the hell would disturb us at eight in the morning?” I whine, getting off the bed reluctantly to put on my robe. Taehyung rushes to answer the door with me behind him mumbling under my breath. 

“I didn’t think he’d be here until later since he knows our schedules, but it’s Jimin’s move-in day, remember?!” Taehyung reminds me as we travel to the front door. 

“Why is everyone always moving in here? Why don’t you guys buy me a mansion and move me in there for once? And didn’t I give Jimin a key already?” I mutter and Taehyung laughs. 

“Do you want a mansion, my grumpy Princess? We’ll set you up good.”

“No, I don’t actually want a mansion. All of our staff would quit within a week after seeing us naked 90% of the time, and then I would be the one stuck cleaning the place.” 

Taehyung waggles his eyebrows then looks at the camera. He turns to me with confusion in his eyes. 

“It’s a lady.”

“A lady? Like, someone selling something? Let me see.” I peer at the door camera.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Shit.” What the hell is she doing here?

I take a deep breath, double check that Taehyung is wearing pants, then fling the door open violently. 

“What do you want?” I ask coldly, eyeing the elegantly dressed woman before me as she scrutinizes my pajamas with her judgemental gaze. 

“Can’t a Mother visit her daughter without wanting something?” 

I hear the quiet gasp on the side of me as Taehyung learns the mystery woman’s identity. There’s a reason I don’t ever talk about her, even to Taehyung. 

I observe the painted and botoxed woman in disdain. 

“I hear that’s the done thing with normal family members, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t describe you. I repeat, what do you want, Clara?”

“First names, darling? I didn’t realize we were so progressive. If you’ll step aside and let me in, I’m happy to discuss everything. I’d rather not wage war in the hallway, it’s rather tacky.” She pushed past me and stopped in the entryway, observing her surroundings. When her eyes found Taehyung smiling sheepishly to the side of me, her eyebrow cocked as she looked him over. 

“You have a plaything? You picked a handsome one. Hello there, Sweetheart.”  The flirty grin that she no doubt thought was irresistible filled you with disgust. 

“Fine. Mother dear, whatever are you doing here? Did you get dumped again by chance? Need money? Had some sixth sense that I was feeling Happy and decided to come fix that?” I sarcastically drawl, crossing my arms in front of my chest and stepping in front of Taehyung to block him from her view. 

My mother released a loud, exaggerated sigh, flapping her hand in the air. “Yes, Charles and I are getting a divorce. He knocked up his little mistress and decided to marry her. I’m going to stay with you until the house I made him give me is renovated. I always hated all the animal trophies everywhere.” She declares, setting her purse on the counter and setting up on a bar stool like she owned the place. 

“Mother, I really don’t think...” I began, only to be interrupted by the doorbell again. I watch in horror as Taehyung opens the door, as I already know it could just be one other person. 

“Good morning, my Goddess. Morning, Tae! I have some bags here if you wanted to help me with them. Just essential stuff, but the rest of my boxes will be delivered by the movers...oh, hello.” Jimin stops midway through his spiel when he finally set down the bags he was carrying and noticed my Mother. 

Her eagle eyes scoured him from head to toe and back before flicking my way, an almost evil grin appearing on her face. 

“My Goddess? Either you’re very close to your friends, or you have two playthings at once, my darling. I’m impressed.” 

“What I do or don’t do is none of your business. Please leave.” I manage to say as politely as possible, hoping that she would leave before she started a real fight or said something to the boys. 

“Fine, I just think it’s funny that all those years of you treating me like I was trash because I liked playing around, and now here you are with two at once. Hypocrite much, sweetheart?” 

“Get the fuck out of my house.” I grind out, retraining myself from physically throwing her out. 

“I’m going, there’s no need to be a bitch, darling. I can see you have a full house already. I’ll just put myself up in a nice hotel. Just don’t expect any money from what I get from Charles.” She spat as she grabbed her bag and made her way to the front door. 

“I never expect any money. I put myself through college. I paid for my own apartment, car, everything else in my life. I need nothing from you. Quit bothering me every time you get a divorce. Stay out of my life for the last fucking time.” I yelled as I slammed the door behind her. 

I lean my head against the door and listen to the sound of her heels stomping down the hallway and wait until I hear the elevator door open and close before I release my breath. 

A hand starts stroking my back, and I’m suddenly enveloped in Taehyung’s comforting presence as he back hugs me and props his chin on my shoulder. 

“So...that was your Mother.” He says, humor tinting his voice. 

Releasing a bitter laugh, I turn and bury my face in his chest. “Yup. That was Mother.” 

“Lovely woman.” Jimin snorts as he strolls forward and kisses the side of my neck and leans his head on mine. 

“Well, she was about two seconds away from deciding which of you she’d steal from me this time, so if you’re interested, she couldn’t have gotten far,” I mutter as I kiss Jimin and walk towards the kitchen to start my coffee. 

“Wait, this time?” Taehyung asks in disbelief as the boys set up on the counter. 

“Her last ex-husband was my boyfriend, once upon a time. She’d decided to stay with me while her divorce from the other one was getting finalized and managed to seduce him while I was working. I think she liked lording it over me a little too much since she managed to stay married to him for two whole years. A record.” 

“How many times has she been married?” Jimin asks, thanking you when you set some pastries down in front of them. 

“Oh, good question. Let's see, with this last one...six times? I think the only person she’s been with for an extended period of time was Dad. They were married for ten years before he passed away.” 

“How did that happen?” Taehyung asks softly, and I pour all of us coffee in silence for a minute as I reminisce. 

“Cancer. Cliche, right? He was a lawyer too, worked like crazy and still managed to make me feel like a princess, and treated my Mother well. Which is why I still hate her for what she did.” I clear my throat and stir my coffee, ugly memories of screaming matches and tears filling my mind. 

“She was cheating on him the whole time he was in the hospital with one of his firm’s hotshot associates. Worst still, my Father knew because someone else had told him about it. I hated seeing his sad, resigned face whenever she came in to play the loving wife role. I asked him about it once, and he said that while it made him sad, he understood since he wasn’t going to be around anymore. That she was a woman that needs a lot of love. I didn’t care. I thought, and still do, that it was disrespectful and just plain malicious to do that to someone that loved and cared for you for ten years. His last fucking memories on earth are of his wife cheating on him while he was lying there in pain and dying. Fuck her.” I choked back my angry tears, distracting myself with making myself eat. The boys each grabbed a hand and placed a kiss on the backs of them, the pity in their eyes making it hard for me to swallow as I struggled to contain myself. 

“I’m too sober for this,” I mumble, swirling my coffee before I take a sip. 

Jimin wraps himself around me, lips ghosting down my neck as he slides his hands under my shirt. His dick was hard and poking me in the back. Apparently, he thought he’d distract me or cheer me up a certain way, but I felt too guilty to let him touch me right now. 

“Anyway, I think I’m going to head into the office. I need to work on some stuff for next week, and then I’ll be worry free for the rest of the weekend.” I push myself away from the counter and hurry to get ready. I try not to notice the boys watching me flutter around the house with matching worried expressions. I just needed to get my head on straight, that’s all.

I kiss them both on the cheek on my way to the door. “Be sure to call me if you guys need anything. I’ll probably be awhile. Let me know what you guys want for dinner, and I’ll pick something up.” With a wave I shut the door behind me and head out, blocking their confused faces from my memory with the unwelcome thoughts swirling in my head. 

I throw my pen onto my desk and bury my face in my hands, groaning softly. Distracting yourself with work only works when it’s actually distracting. Writing letters and briefs, answering emails, all the dumb busy work that I usually saved until the last minute was not enough to clear my head. 

The same fucking thought kept harassing me ever since Mother left. I was just like her. I was sleeping around with two men at once. The fact that we all had genuine feelings involved felt more like an excuse than validation.

 My thumb caressed the picture the boys had sent me a couple of hours ago. The two of them had taken our dog Winston to the park and posed with him, the sun shining down and making them look like freaking angels with their happy smiles and good looks. They were all so cute and so sweet. What am I doing? She was right. I was a hypocrite. And the boys deserved so much more than the messed up person I am. They deserved the entire fucking world. It would be best for everyone if I let them go. I’m better off alone, really...

“I thought I was depressed, but you are actually in your office during the weekend, crying.” A soft voice interrupts my thoughts, and I look up in surprise to find Jungkook lounging in the chair in front of my desk. 

I reach up and wipe at my cheek, staring at the wet spot on my hand in shock as I see that I was actually crying. I hadn’t even noticed. 

“What’s the matter, Noona?” Jungkook laid his head on his arms, cocking it cutely as he leaned against my desk. The little shit pulled out the Noona card very rarely, usually saving it to get something he wants. He seemed to be using it now to get me to talk to him, which was adorable, I had to admit. 

“I just...” I clear my throat and try to summarize my fears into a tangible sentence, only to blurt out, “Jungkook, am I a whore?”

“What? What the hell would make you say that?” He sits up straight and practically glares at me, his bunny nose wrinkling in a way that usually would have made me laugh.

“What do you think? I’m literally living with two men. I can’t even remember the last time I went even a day without a single sexual act. I feel like I'm selfish and dirty.” I mumble as I push around my pen with a finger. 

“Are you saying I’m a whore then?” Jungkook asked wryly, and he cocked his eyebrow when you glanced up. 

“What? No, of course not.” I exclaimed, not sure why he would ask that. 

“Because you forget I’ve been in an open relationship with Jimin for years. I agreed to it in the first place because Jimin needs lots of love and attention, and frankly, I was exhausted on my own.” Jungkook laughs and ruffles his hair cutely.  

“Jimin, Tae, and I were together quite a lot. Jimin and I even got serious with Min Yoongi a few years back, and all three of us lived together. Yoongi had a girlfriend that would join in on occasion as well. I did the exact same thing as you, and then some. So why are you a whore and not me?” He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms as he waited for me to collect my thoughts. I opened and closed my mouth several times, my mind coming up blank on why it was different. 

“There’s no reason to be ashamed for loving someone, Noona. Instead of focusing on what society thinks, focus on how you feel. I know that sex is only half of the equation, and that you all love each other. You’re all very easy to love.” Jungkooks says with a soft smile, a light blush tinting his cheeks. 

He walks around the desk and crouches down next to my chair, grabbing my hand and rubbing circles into the back of it with his thumb. 

“I was like this at first too, you know. I was already struggling with the taboo of just being with a guy in the first place, then one thing led to another, and Tae started getting added into the mix. I mean, you know how he is. He just kinda...makes everything perfect. Pulls everything together. I started out thinking everything was so wrong, and we were a bunch of perverts, but we all genuinely love each other, so how is that actually wrong? Love is love.” 

“If it was so perfect, why was Tae not officially your partner?” I ask, intrigued to hear things from his point of view. Taehyung talked about their past all of the time, but in his head, everything is common sense, and everyone should know, but I didn’t know specifics. 

“Ah, because there was one thing holding us all back. You. Taehyung has been so hung up on you for years, and he wanted to leave himself an open chance. We’ve suggested hinting things to you over the years since he wasn’t the only one attracted to you, but he didn’t want to scare you off. Now though...” His grip on my hand tightened, and I observed with interest as his eyes fell to my lips. 

He dropped my hand and smiled shyly as he stood back up and leaned his back against the desk. “Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. There’s still this arranged marriage business to take care of. Don’t mind me, I’m just...a little lonely.”

“You could always try to come by. Whoever your father has watching you couldn’t possibly know that Jimin lives with me now.” 

Jungkook shakes his head morosely, his shaggy bangs swaying cutely as he did so. “No. I don’t want to chance it. If we get caught even once, that’s Jimin’s entire future on the line. Besides, that message you sent the other day said you had a plan?” 

“Oh, yes, I do. I won’t go into it too much now but rest assured I will be your Knight in shining skirt suit.” I giggle, glad the mood in the room has lightened a bit. I feel a lot better because Jungkook is right. It’s love, and as long as we’re happy and not hurting anyone, it’s not wrong. 

“Thank you, Noona. Just do me a favor? Next time you feel this way, I want you to try something that helped me. I want you to think about all the things you’d miss if you broke up with them. Like Taehyung’s cuddles or Jimin’s singing in the shower, little things like that.” 

“Or Taehyung making me tea and serving it in a soup bowl.” 

“Yes, or Jimin’s juicy peach ass. God, I miss his ass.” Jungkook groaned dramatically, making me laugh. 

“Fuck, I would too.” I chuckle. I glance at my cell that was suddenly ringing, wiggling my eyebrows at Jungkook when I read the caller ID. Speak of the devil...

I set the phone in the middle of us and press speaker as I grin at Jungkook.

“Jimin honey, what’s up?” I ask, laughing internally as I can practically see him throwing a fit with all the frustrated sighs he’s making. 

“Y/N, when are you coming home? It’s my move-in night; I want to cuddle and watch this anime with you.” He whines, his manipulative little ass using his drunk Diminie aegyo voice. 

“I’m coming home now, baby. What do you want me to pick up for dinner?”

“Tae says junk food, so probably burgers and fries. And a milkshake.” 

“Ok, I’ll pick it up and come right home, alright?”

“Okay! Hurry! I miss you.” He was so fucking cute.

“Jungkook, say hi to Jimin,” I tell him softly, observing him as he clears his throat and nervously leans over the phone. 

“Hi, baby. Noona was sad today, so make sure you guys take good care of her.” 

“...okay, Kookie.” Came the soft reply, and I nodded at Jungkook encouragingly when he quickly looked at me in surprise, obviously not expecting Jimin to still want to use his nickname. I’ve not told Jimin the whole issue yet, but I had told him that Jungkook was trying to protect him from something and not to be sad. 

“I’m going to kiss Noona goodbye, is that alright?” Jungkook asked, smiling at my startled expression. 

“Yeah. She likes more lips than tongue.” He giggles. 

“Alright, love you, I’ll be home soon.” I rush out as I quickly end the call. I stand up and grab my bag and put on my jacket. Jungkook hasn’t moved yet, just watching me with amusement, his stupid bunny smirk wide. 

“Noooonaaa....” He quietly sing songs as he strolls towards me once I’ve reached the door. “This is just to say thank you. Thank you for taking care of Jimin, thank you for helping me. Thank you for being you.” He lays his hand on my shoulder lightly, his fingers stroking like he was trying to comfort me as he leans in. 

His lips softly press against mine, testing my reactions. When I didn’t hit him or freak out, he deepens the kiss, moaning softly into my mouth. When he pulls away, his eyes flutter open, and he smiles down at me. 

“Now go home and take care of our needy kitten.” He mutters as he ushers me out of my own office with a pat on my ass. I glare over my shoulder playfully and send him one last wave before I leave. 

[potatowunderkind]

The Soul of the Name

Authors note at the end.

*No plagiarism please*

Adventure can have different meanings.  For some people, it means seeking out thrill and risk, something to get an adrenaline rush; skydiving, rock climbing.  Others may seek out the peace of travel.  Sightseeing and road trips are wonderful ways of seeing what the world has to offer.  Sometimes adventure may only be available at home be it in the town you live or somewhere within the state.  Sometimes the adventure may lead to a mystery.  This happened to be the case for a couple of friends.

Four teens all different yet similar; Nica, Grant, Janie, and Drew.  Each shared a love of nature and seeking adventure.  But then the differences occur.  Nica, an exotic, outgoing and ecstatic girl; Grant, curly-haired, sporty and optimistic; Janie, light-haired, curious and observant; Drew, bright-eyed, courteous and kind.  The group had been friends since the third grade, with the exception of Janie and Drew who had known one another through their parents.  The four had finished their junior year and were anticipating what senior year and their futures had in store.

The friends decided to take a day during their summer break to go on a trip around the town they lived Moreau.  Their destination had been an abandoned farm located down a gated driveway.  Part of the way down the road had been surrounded by trees — great, vibrant and green oaks and paper birches.  The road opened to a secluded area holding a small barn and farmhouse, the remaining land having been fenced off for livestock.  The land and buildings had been owned by the Nelson family, one of the oldest families in the town.  But the family had left the land untouched since 1994 with no explanation.

The four teens began to clamber out of the silver ‘98 Jeep Grand Cherokee belonging to Drew.  The road was as abandoned as the farm so there had been no problem for them leaving the vehicle without being seen.  The Nelson land had been a point of interest by most, although not many traveled there as they could either not find it or ignored the area seeing how secluded it had been.  But the ‘NO TRESPASSING’ sign hanging on the gate had been ignored many times.

A brilliant blue, cloudless sky lit the land, most of the grass had been dead and brittle from the heat and light of the sun.  The only sound in the area had been birds and bugs and the closing of the vehicle doors.  An occasional airplane could be heard flying overhead in the troposphere.

“What do you think we’ll find?”  Grant asked his friends.  The seventeen-year-old watched as his friends climbed over the metal gate, helping them if needed.  They began their trek down the dirt driveway, the sound of the dirt scuffing beneath their feet emitting to their ears.

Nica, who had paid attention to the question, began to speak up.  “Not sure.  Maybe some old equipment and all that.”

A short silence hung in the air between all of them.  Grant spoke once more, “It’s sad this is our last summer here.”  He turned to the others with a smile.  “Remember when we all met?”

“Must you remind us?” Drew inquired.

“Third grade-.”

“He must,” Janie quietly said to Drew earning a stifled laugh.

Grant continued to talk even though he hadn’t heard the remark.  “All three of you sat in the back of the room.  Almost every day.  I sat in the front not knowing you three at all.  The kid sitting next to Nica, and in front of you, Janie.   He could never see the board well.  Turns out he had bad eyesight.

“So then one day, the teacher had to have a talk with him about his failing grades.  Next day, he was asked to move up front — where I was sitting.”

Grant paused for effect.  Nica shared a look with Janie, the two both shaking their heads amusement.  “So I was moved to the kid's old seat.  Right where you three were sitting!”  The group shared a laugh at the excitement Grant showed.

A rustling was heard from the side after the laughter died down.  Ahead of them, a doe stepped out from the wooded area.  Janie let out a gasp and stopped her friends upon noticing the animal watching them.  She motioned for the others to remain quiet as to not scare the doe.  Upon her view, Janie recognized something off about the creature; it appeared transparent.  Janie thought her eyesight was off and didn’t think much of it.  It wasn’t long before the animal stalked off to the other line of trees, soon disappearing out of sight.

The remainder of the walk was silent.  The quartet found themselves gazing upon the barn belonging to the farm.  It had been located before the farmhouse.  The building had been rundown.  Parts of the rusty metal roofing had gone missing either having been taken off or falling in.  Wood from the siding had also fallen, most of the pieces visible had rotted.  Every other belonging outside of the barn — metal barrels, equipment — had rusted.

Drew stepped over to the barn doors and tried them.  There was a metal latch on the front in order to keep the doors closed.  But they wouldn’t open.  His eyes fell to Janie who had stepped over to also check the door.

“What’s wrong?”  Nica inquired as she and Grant stood away from their friends.

“It won’t open,” Drew stated.  He stood in thought, thinking what they could do.  Two options came up: they could continue to look for a way into the barn, or they could split up and two could go to the house while the others stayed at the barn.

He chose the latter.  Drew began to ask, “How about we split up?  Nica, you and Grant could go check out the house, Janie and I will look for a way into the barn.”

“Sounds good to me,” the girl said.

The dark haired girl and the curly haired boy began to walk the rest of the driveway.  Janie began to watch them until the sight of the doe caught her eye.  It went unnoticed by the others as it stood to the side of the barn which faced the house.  The animal appeared to be watching the two teenagers walk away before turning its head to glance at Janie.  She watched as the doe soon walked away disappearing behind the barn.  As Drew continued to attempt to pry the doors open, Janie moved the side of the brown building.  Turning to the right she spotted the doe standing by a metal sheet which had come from the roof leaning against the wall.

From where Janie she could see an opening behind the metal sheet.  Her eyes widened a bit.  “Hey, Drew,” Janie began, looking back at the taller teen, “I think I’ve found a way in.”

Drew looked at her equally surprised.  “Really?”  Janie glanced back to where the doe had been.  Her expression fell at the sight of it not standing there.  The boy who had stood by the doors was soon by the metal sheet.  Careful not to end up slicing his hands on the metal, he was able to move it aside.

Dust flew as the sheet fell.  The two carefully made their way into the barn.  The air was musty, stale.  Hay lay all over the ground, the only sign of anyone having been in the barn was mudded footprints by the large doors.  A latch had been attached to the inside of the doors, a padlock keeping it closed the culprit to the teenager's inability to open the doors.  By the opening in the wall were an old, rotting wooden trunk and dust-covered books on shelves.  A single trophy from a 4-H competition had sat on the top shelf but looked to have been dusted off recently.  At the far end of the building sat a green John Deere tractor with paint beginning to peel off.  Sunlight shone through the holes in the roof.

Janie spotted a makeshift step made from a crate led to scaffolding.  On that, an old motor sat leading to the top platform.  She pointed it out to Drew who agreed to spot her as she climbed, making sure she wouldn’t fall.  On the first platform was another crate with an old and ragged blanket.

There was nothing else of interest there.

Climbing to the second platform, Janie stopped midway through.  She found things which looked like camping materials hidden under an area which the roof had not been open.  Laying on the ground was a dust-covered sleeping bag and blanket.  An old oil lamp — the metal had become the brownish-red color of rust and the wick had been burned down to the point where it was almost gone.  The light haired girl glanced down at her friend finding him searching the wooden crate.  There was no point in climbing back down knowing she may have found something.  Janie pulled herself up fully on the platform, carefully moving across the old wood.

The backpack had been the first item of interest.  The gray color had faded as though it may have been there for years, the sun continuously beating down on it to leave a lighter color than the original.  The bag had been left unzipped.  There wasn’t much inside the larger pocket; a pair of clothing consisting of a flannel shirt and jeans, a granola bar with an expiration date of 2014, a folded sheet of paper with no writing, and a newspaper clipping referencing the closing of the Nelson farm.  Looking through the smaller pockets all that could be found was a small matchbook, two class rings — Class of ‘90 and Class of ‘88, and a pen.  Standing, Janie took the blank paper and moved to hold it up into the sunlight as though she might find something hidden.

The attempt was futile.  With a sigh she returned the paper to the backpack, her foot suddenly kicking something hidden under the blanket.  A journal peaked from under the bunched fabric.  The journal was small and, upon inspection, not that old.  The cover was a light brown, a leather strand attached to the back was securely tied to the front.  The front cover had a bird engraved.  Around the edges of the pages was a yellowing color.  As Janie opened the book, the pages felt to almost have been damaged by water.

Upon opening the journal, a few short entries covered the pages.  The writing had been neat.  Cursive letters looping together in a readable nature.  A few dated pages had been left untouched.  Most of the entries spoke of lack of sleep.  The most recent page to have been written on was dated June 3rd, 2004.

To whoever finds this journal, please know I am all right.  I have merely found myself elsewhere.  In reality, I never left home.  My family never knew I was so close.  I realize that I never said goodbye to anyone before leaving.  Posters haven’t been put up for a while, but I know my sister is still looking for me.

She’s the only one left.  She was my best friend and always will be.  I hate knowing I left her all alone.  Maybe I’ll return to her.  One day.

Janie took in the words and let out a deep breath.  She couldn’t help but begin to wonder who left their belongings here and why.  Why they left was a strong question in her mind along with what.  The bottom of the page had the writing: The doe will lead the way.

Below, Drew pulled out a book which had been in the old trunk.  Most of the information he had found belonged to the Nelson family and mostly consisted of newspaper clippings or pictures of the family.  The book he found felt to have been more of a portfolio or scrapbook.  Opening the cover, a label inside reading ‘C. Nelson, 1986’.  It took no time for him to connect the ‘C’ with Charlotte Nelson.  In 1989, a then seventeen-year-old Charlotte had gone missing.  She had been a key leader in the family business and caring for the farm.  The people of Moreau loved Charlotte, and the news of her disappearance was more strange than mysterious.

The first few pages of the book held pictures or letters, others held different anecdotes or daily journal writings.  Drew decided to read the entries he found interesting.

20 June 1986

Another day of helping Mom around the farm.  Most girls don’t think to do chores in their first days of summer break.  Annie gets to work at the shop with Dad, and for some reason never the farm.

I couldn’t sleep last night.  Not sure what it may be.  I’ve been having a dream lately but it’s hard to describe — like I can’t actually see what happens.

The entry looked to have had more written, however, the page had been damaged by water.  The ink of the pen faded over time.  Most of the entries after talk about Charlotte’s day and her lack of sleep, none mentioning the dream she had spoken of, until the next entry of interest.

13 August 1988

I couldn’t sleep again.  This has been occurring on and off.  The dream has been more clear since it first came to me.  I’m not sure what to do about any of this.  Mom and dad never seem to show any concern or fascination in what I tell them.  Mom usually thinks I’m making things up, dad is just dad.

But the dream I can’t shake.  It’s always dark, the only light being moonlight.  I see a body of water like a river or stream.  The location is never consistent.  Sometimes it reminds me of the river that runs by the end of the field, other times it’s a different area — but always a river.

And a doe.  She’s always standing on the other side of the water, watching me.  The odd thing about it is that I think I’ve seen her standing by the trees by the driveway once in a while when I work outside.

Drew finished the entry.  His eyebrows knit together as he thought of the doe the group had seen earlier.  It couldn’t possibly have been the same doe.

He flipped to the last covered page of the notebook which had been dated October 30, 1989 — the day before Charlotte disappeared and her birthday.  

30 October 1989

Nothing is going well.  Mom and dad are worried about the business.  They’ve been losing money recently.  They expect me to help them out with the situation.  The only problem is that I can’t and I don’t believe I can.  Lately, they’ve been expecting too much from me; “Take care of the farm,” “Take care of the business,” “Keep up your grades.”  I can only do so much.

I’ve been thinking.  What would happen if I left?  The dream I’ve been having is continuing to occur.  The scene continues to change, showing me different locations and only a few I know of.  The doe I see had led me the other day to the river where I found a class ring.  I’m not sure if she’s leading me to a specific person or thing, but I feel as though she’s trying to show me something no matter what.

So what if I left?

The pen had trailed off at the dot of the question mark.  Drew wondered if that was really where it ended.  Flipping through the remaining pages he found them to be blank, until the very last page.

April 1993

My parents sold the shop.

They’ve sold the animals.

Missing person posters have stopped going up.

Maybe this was a mistake.

On the backside was another entry.  The final piece of writing.

May 1994

The land was closed off.  Mom and dad moved away leaving the land in Annie’s name.

Never have I seen anyone so heartbroken.  I was selfish in leaving.  I should have gone back to them.

I was able to follow the doe.  Two years ago she led me to a specific location — to the body of a girl who had gone missing during the summer of 1989.  Kim Monroe.  She was a great friend and person.  I’m not sure what would make anyone want to do that to her.

I left an anonymous tip to the police.  The perpetrator had been found and arrested, a student from my class.  I realized the ring I had found was hers.  A class of ‘89 ring.

There are so many things I would say to her if she were still here.  She was the one person I could talk to the most.  I know I miss her as much as my family.  But I guess they’re now all ghosts from my past.

I’d rather not say anymore.

A photograph of Charlotte and Kim had been pasted to the remainder of the page.  Both were easy to distinguish, Charlotte with her long and wavy raven colored hair and hazel eyes, Kim with short, feathered blonde hair and vibrant green eyes.  Both had bright smiles and appeared happy together.  It without a doubt reminded Drew of Janie and Nica.

The sound of Janie jumping down from the scaffolding caused the boy to turn.  She held the journal found on the top platform.  Both inquired about what each found and traded books.

“Do you think the doe we saw is what Charlotte wrote about?” Drew asked as he closed the journal.

“It would make sense,” Janie said.  “She showed me the opening in the wall.”  Janie quickly pointed to the opening.

“Do you think She could lead us somewhere?”

“I do.  We should look for Nica and Grant — show them what we found.”  Drew agreed with his friend before handing the journal over.  He returned everything he may have removed from the wooden trunk and closed the lid.  The two teens then made their way out of the barn, the metal sheet moved in front of the hole in the wall once more.  The journals had been left on top of the crate.

In leaving the barn, Nica and Grant had been spotted walking over.  When they were close enough, the dark-haired girl decided to speak, “We couldn’t find anything in the house.  The only thing though was the furniture was covered up.

“Did you two find anything?” Grant asked as a follow-up.  Drew explained what he and Janie each found.  It wasn’t too long after the blonde spotted the doe.  She was quick in getting the attention of her friends and pointing out the animal which had been watching them.

Janie and Drew began leading the others in the direction the doe was heading.  Janie couldn’t help but find her adrenaline level rising.  The group passed through the dried grass of the field, trekking through the wooded area past the barbed fence.  The wire had fallen in an area as a couple wooden posts had fallen, making it easier to get past without injury.  Leaves and sticks cracked and crunched beneath the sneakers or hiking boots of the teens.  The sound of running water became clearer as the four got closer.

Stopping at the riverbank, the doe waited for the teens to get closer before continuing her way along the bank.  She ceased her walking when she came to a certain spot.  Janie had somehow gotten ahead of the others, finding herself coming closer to the doe.  The animal appeared more transparent that earlier.  She was quick to leave, her white-tail flicking behind as she disappeared into the trees.

Janie stopped where the doe stood.  Glancing down she scanned the ground.

Her heart seemed to stop.  Her stomach fell.

A pale hand stuck out from underneath brush, fingertips a light blue.

As her friends neared, Janie turned and looked at them.  She didn’t dare look back at what she found, afraid of what else she might see.  The others seemed to take in her hesitation, slowing their steps as they neared the girl.  Grant glanced down and spotted what his friend had seen.

“Are you okay?” Nica inquired as she glanced at her friends.

Janie spoke but her words were muttered, incoherent, scared.  Grant was quick to say, “We need to call the police.”

Nica and Drew shared looks of confusion before the girl quietly asked,  “Why?”  Both looked from Grant to Janie for an answer.

The blonde took in a deep breath.  “I think that doe led us to Charlotte Nelson.”

There was no hesitation in the next steps taken by the teens.  They returned to the farmhouse upon calling the police department.  The Grant and Janie led the officers to the location the doe had while Drew and Nica remained at the barn, explaining to a third officer the journal findings.

Even with all the commotion, the doe remained on the farm.  She watched as Annie Nelson arrived at the property.  She watched as the younger sister thanked the teens rather than become upset with their trespassing.  She watched as Charlotte Nelson’s body was taken away.

In the trees, but with a sight of everything happening, the doe bowed her head.  She knew her role had been completed.  Leading Charlotte to find Her — Kim.  Leading the group to find the missing Nelson.

Her transparent form began to fade away.  Silently, the doe could finally find peace.

Charlotte Nelson and Kim Monroe could finally be at peace.

A/N:  So...  I originally wrote this because it was necessary for the creative writing major at one of the colleges I had applied to.

I do have inspiration for this short. One involves the doe and Rachel Amber from Life Is Strange.  The other involves a cold case here in my home state.

Kim Monroe I have based off 17-year-old Kimberly Moreau who had gone missing in 1986.  About 3 years ago police “re-opened” the case (not entirely) which involved searching for her body they believed was buried in some persons yard; being Maine, nothing was found.  And being Maine, if someone goes missing, the police never solve the case (sorry, but it’s true).  As far as I know, only about 2-3 missing persons cases have been solved and 27 are still current.

Of course I couldn’t use Kimberly’s name, but could have something close to it; Moreau ending up being the name of the town as a way to still pay homage to Kimberly.  The only other case that can’t be considered “cold” is the disappearance of one-year-old - Ayla Reynolds - but she was too young to write for and her case is too recent (2011) and kind of obvious to solve (but in Maine...).  And just this past year, Ayla was legally declared deceased.

I just hope any missing person who has become a cold case can receive the justice and closure they deserve.

[orbemnews]

How the late night talk show set became an American icon Written by Jacqui Palumbo, CNN “The Story of Late Night,” a new CNN Original Series on the history of the iconic genre, airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET/PT. Listen to the companion podcast, “Behind the Desk: The Story of Late Night,” here. For more than six decades, American late night talk show hosts have sat behind large wooden desks, with guests in cushioned chairs or couches to their right. Behind them, the wall may be painted to mimic an open vista; around them, a brightly lit studio set is made more inviting through warm wood tones, mugs on a desk or — in Johnny Carson’s case — a couple of well-placed house plants. As much as the programs themselves are part of Americans’ nightly rituals, the late night talk show set has become an iconic — and predictable — fixture in television, today inhabited by comics including Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel, following in the lineage of Jay Leno and David Letterman, and further back, Carson, Steve Allen and Dick Cavett. Johnny Carson (pictured with Dolly Parton) remains televisions longest-running late night talk show host, spending four decades behind the desk for “The Tonight Show.” Credit: Alice S. Hall/NBC/Getty Images “It’s funny how late night sets have not changed much since they started,” said Robert Thompson, a media scholar and professor of television and popular culture at Syracuse University, in a video interview. “It’s an attempt to show some semblance of our idea of an American living room. But an American living room where one of the people, the owner of the living room, sits behind a desk.” When it was first introduced around 1949, late night was a different beast than the already familiar entertainment of evening variety like “The Ed Sullivan Show” or daytime talk show programming like “The Today Show.” The late show concept had a very low bar for success, as the CNN original series “The Story of Late Night,” details. Prior to the debut of the then-novel, post-11pm programming, the nightly news would give way to a test pattern, and then static — a foreign visual today, in an era when there is always something to stream. Watch a brief history of late night talk shows “Late night began as a way to kill time,” host Conan O’Brien, who just announced the end of his long-running program on TBS, said in the docuseries. “It was the networks realizing… ‘let’s kick the football a little further down the road and see what happens at 11:30.'” Today, late night talk shows have branched out beyond network television, and have begun to include more women and hosts of color, including new shows helmed by Seth Meyers’ writer Amber Ruffin and popular YouTuber Lilly Singh. Yet the desk setup largely remains, and it’s notable when a host tries to do away with the formula — like when Bill Maher sat among his guests on the ’90s show “Politically Incorrect.” Last year, Samantha Bee explained the reason her weekly show “Full Frontal” is deskless in an interview for the Television Academy Foundation, saying the traditional approach made her feel “super confined.” Comedian Steve Allen first introduced the talk show desk during the often experimental 1950s show “Tonight Starring Steve Allen” — the first iteration of “The Tonight Show.” Credit: NBC/Getty Images Still, the spirit of the 1950s and ’60s era of set design has largely persisted. “Every time you see a late night show, it seems like everybody starts with the same formula,” said Keith Raywood, a production designer who has built sets for O’Brien and Fallon, in a video interview. “They just dress it differently.” Designed for power dynamics The pioneer of the late night talk show was actually a woman, the actress Faye Emerson, who hosted interviews and gave her own political commentary in 1949 on “The Faye Emerson Show,” often from a couch in a living room. But then women were relegated to the realm of daytime television, where advertisers could appeal to stay-at-home wives, media historian Maureen Mauk explained in “The Story of Late Night.” “The men started to take over (late night), and the women were really never to return, in a lot of ways,” Mauk said. (The next female host to nab a nighttime talk show was Joan Rivers in 1986, but Fox cancelled “The Late Show Starring Joan Rivers” the following year. A decade later, Cynthia Garrett became the first network late night Black female host, but her NBC show “Later” was axed after a single season.) Joan Rivers was often a guest host for Carson on “The Tonight Show,” as pictured here with Oprah Winfrey, but wound up competing against him with her own short-lived Fox show. Credit: Paul Drinkwater/NBC/Getty Images Comedian Steve Allen first introduced the desk during his wacky and experimental programming that was the first iteration of “The Tonight Show” — which included him dipping into vats of jello and happily pie-smashing his guests. According to “The Story of Late Night,” Allen’s successor, Jack Paar, added the content format we’re still familiar with today: a monologue, interview and performance. But it was Johnny Carson, host of “The Tonight Show” for over four decades, whose affable, family-friendly charm became synonymous with late night. And his long-running show also cemented the hierarchy implicit in the layout of the set. “The desk is occasionally breached,” said Thompson. During the first taping of the “Late Show with David Letterman,” Bill Murray spray painted Letterman’s desk. Credit: Alan Singer/CBS/Getty Images “It’s less democratic, less egalitarian, if someone is sitting behind a desk in an elevated position, and his guests are not equal in stature in terms of how they’re being seated,” Raywood said. Thompson points out the setup “leaves the guests to be fully exposed.” Cavett, whose talk show slots included late night, preferred to sit more casually on comfortable chairs with his guests, putting them on equal ground. Arsenio Hall (here with Eddie Murphy) shook up late night as the first Black host — and notably did away the desk format. Credit: Ron Galella, Ltd./Getty Images But one magnetic personality aimed for an even more personal way of engaging with his guests. Arsenio Hall, who in 1989 became the first Black host to helm a late night talk show, sat close to his guests, who were on a couch, and leaned in with rapt attention. “We see him in his entirety,” Thompson said of Hall. “He would lean into his interviews…which gave it a sense of intimacy.” Carson, on the other hand, “had an emotional distance to him,” Thompson said. “The idea of him leaning in in that friendly, familiar way that Arsenio did would have been unthinkable. And I think it’s one of the reasons (“The Arsenio Hall Show”) really had some voltage and some energy — because it looked less like what we had seen so many times over and over again.” Reworking the formula Some of the most creative takes on talk show sets have come out of the parodies, which have become as ubiquitous as late night itself. The original spoof, Norman Lear’s “Fernwood 2 Night” from 1977, and its grandchild, Zach Galifianakis’s “Between Two Ferns,” which premiered in 2008, directly referenced the ever-present greenery on Carson’s set. President Obama was famously tapped for Galifianakis’s Funny or Die series, which took place on a simple black set with two towering green ferns. During his interview, Obama deadpanned to the comedian: “When I heard that people actually watch this show, I was actually pretty surprised.” Eric Andre and Semere Etmet at “The Eric Andre Show Live!” The sketch comedy series parodies public-access talk shows with a wild dose of surrealism. Credit: Michael Tullberg/Getty Images Meanwhile, “The Eric Andre Show,” the absurdist Adult Swim show that debuted in 2012 and repeatedly destroys its set, heightened all of the strangeness that Steve Allen had established in the Wild West of late night, and that Letterman continued early in his career. “Older late night television had a real sense of that iconoclastic,” Thompson said. But Thompson has noted how even kitsch and subversion has become cliché. It’s only recently that another substantial shift in late night set design has occurred, he said, thanks to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, which forced late night hosts to tape from home for an extended period of time. “All of a sudden, the set of the talk show itself was totally downsized, because people were doing it from home,” he said. “Colbert started in his bathtub the very first day.” As Colbert suited up in his bubble bath the first night for “The Late Show” on CBS, Meyers posted up at his in-laws’ house for “Late Night” on NBC. After 68 episodes there, a painting of a sea captain, which had become an animated “guest” throughout the remote shows, said goodbye with a jaunty sea shanty. Late-night TV marks anniversary of pandemic “In a strange way, the liberation from those Carson-era studio sets was actually, creatively, a good thing for late night talk shows,” Thompson said. Instead of guests stopping by the set, they could dial in from wherever, using Zoom backgrounds or sharing the intimacy of their homes. “Sometimes it’s more interesting to talk to Arnold Schwarzenegger from his house, than it is to have Arnold Schwarzenegger wander onto the stage, which is so artificial, so prepped,” Thompson said. Raywood also signaled that it’s time for something new, after nearly seven decades of following the same formula. “I think we could easily be due for a change in format for late night television,” he said. “Every generation veers into another direction — how they look at things, how they dress, the kind of music they listen to — so why are we doing the same show every (time)?” He added: “You need producers who are creative enough, and brave enough.” This article has been updated to correct the title and year of Joan Rivers’ late-night show with Fox, and to include additional context regarding the Dick Cavett set. Source link Orbem News #American #icon #Late #night #Set #Show #talk

[dannyphantomrpg]

Analysis: Ten Years Later

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about the Ten Years Later videos lately, and this analysis post just sort of happened~

To be fair, I did need to work it all out since I mildly referenced it in my Foley Fest drabble.

If I get any comic book info wrong, I'm so sorry. I don't know anything about Marvel aside what my husband knows about the 90's Spiderman cartoon.

Let's start off with Sam and Tucker, cause honestly? There's not much to go over with them.

Sam is sort of basic. Sort of dull. Butch says "leather" trench, but it's most likely pleather, or something more animal-friendly. Even (especially) ten years later, I don't see Sam giving up the good fight.

Her crop top, tho, seems to be a constant. I don't know if that's really her aesthetic, or if Butch just thinks all women like to show off their stomachs. Either way, the DP logo is something Sam would definitely sport.

Something I wanted to point out: in her first TYL sketch, Butch compares her to Black Widow. A quick Wiki skim later gives a bit more depth to the comic book ignorant like me. Black Widow's origin story is that of an orphan child being raised by the Russian government as a sort of Anti-Capitan America. She met up with Tony Stark by trying to assassinate someone in his company.

Sort of interesting to compare Sam with Black Widow, and then give her all those huge anti-ghost guns, hm~?

Tucker, I have a few issues with. Not his design (aside how he only got one sketch and then his final design - show your own characters some love, Butch!), but how Butch talks about him.

Specifically, that he's running for president. Quoting from Wikipedia:

“Article Two, Section 1 of the United States Constitution sets forth the eligibility requirements for serving as President of the United States:

   No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.”

Tucker would only be twenty-four in TYL. He's still got 11 years to go before he can even think about running for president. So, like...

What happened to that little bit of legality?

Also of note, Tucker is the only redesign without the DP logo. Most likely, this is because he was the first and therefore before Butch had the idea, but he did give the majority of Sam's the logo.

Moving right along, we get into the meat of TYL. The Fentons.

A moment of silence for my baby Jazz.

How did "I want to go into psychology to help troubled teens" turn into "I'm essentially Tucker now"? Yes, she's the only one we've seen use the Fenton Peeler, but that doesn't really equate to getting "into the tech side of things."

Even in her sketch of just being in a jumpsuit with a "Maddie" haircut, Butch specifically gives her a piece of technology. He has her in a lab, leaning against a circuitry panel. Not a book in sight - not even one on ghost hunting!

And her final design? Oh, my sweet, smart child. There's just something so inhuman and terrifying about this image. Physically wired into Fenton Works? She "helps run all the gadgets"? She has control over traffic lights and automatic doors? Somehow, I feel like Tucker being up close and personal with his iPhone would be way more helpful than Jazz in a building on the other side of the city would be.

What happens the moment she runs into Technus? Heck, just send someone in to cut the power physically and she's completely vulnerable.

I guess Jack would be happy to be half robot? I mean, it seems like half his brain would be gone, so he can probably just be programmed to be excited about it anyway. I've never really seen Jack as the kind of guy to be upset about hygiene. If anything, I see him as a really clean person (until he gets completely distracted with an invention or something).

His second sketch is the one I really prefer - older, but still Jack. He’s big and buff and still a big old teddy bear. I can see this as a man who saw his son save the world and think "I'm slapping that logo on everything to show how proud of him I am".

Jack's finalized sketch is what really gave me pause in the first place. He's missing an eye. He's missing a leg. He has a prosthetic that, according to Butch, runs on ectoplasm. And, ok, I can see that happening. For God's sake, he turned his son and college best friend into halfas on accident because he wasn't paying attention - this man is not someone you really want in a lab setting.

But that's not what happened.

According to Butch, there is a possibility that people did this. That flesh and blood humans went after the Fentons and did them personal harm simply because of their connection to Danny. Jack lost a limb because a person decided to a) take out ghost-hunting competition, or b) cause Danny some kind of psychological harm, i.e. "If we can't get to you, we can get to your family".

And Maddie?

She was first and foremost a mother. Despite all the angst and family drama this fandom produces, Maddie loves her son above anything else. I feel, personally, if there was a choice between continuing her research and her children, she would give it all up in a heartbeat to make sure they're safe and happy.

That's all gone in her sketches.

Her very first image, she has a buzz cut, she has a huge weapon that's creating some sort of unmerciful death-ray, her goggles are down and she means business. There's nothing matronly about her in that image, no remnants of the mother that would look fondly on her son. No, she's murdering the F out of some ghost and does not care.

Again, in he second sketch, her hair is cut off and the goggles are down. There is something out there and she is going to destroy it. There is something out there that made Maddie leap "out of some sort of an airborne vehicle" with the ghost equivalent of the Little Boy and the Fat Man.

And, again, Butch is not helping.

"Well, I think maybe the Ghost Zone is in turmoil. I think that the ghosts need to live somewhere, and they’re trying to come here. So that’s why the Fentons get involved and that’s why there are so many weapons and why they’re up night and day, fighting off the ghosts."

First off - it's been established that the Ghost Zone and the Human World are connected. Anything that happens to one, will affect the other. So if the Ghost Zone has become so uninhabitable that the ghosts are coming here? How bad off is our world?

Second, Butch didn't say the ghosts were attacking. He said they wanted to live here. Yes, there are some ghost jerks out there *cough*Skulker*cough* but what about peaceful ones like Dora and Poindexter? The people of the Far Frozen? Shouldn't the Fentons know by now that not all ghosts are hostile? (Plus, this would have been an amazing use of Jazz's psychology to talk to some of these ghosts, to calm them down and learn from them.)

Maddie's final version manages to paint an even more bleak image for her. Butch mentions Mad Max and, a quick Wiki read later, that's, like, not good. Civilization is gone, lawlessness runs rampant, murder seems to be the only way to protect yourself. And Maddie is supposed to call forth that image?

Her hair is now essentially the shortest length Butch can give her without shaving her head. She's still wearing those goggles. We have yet to see this woman's eyes, she keeps them so hidden from the world. She has no guns to defend herself, only an ectoplasm-charged bat. She doesn't care about keeping her distance - oh no, she wants to be in the middle of the action.

And those BDSM ghosts? She keeps them on leashes short enough that they could touch her. She keeps them around to "help her sense other ghosts", nevermind the fact that, from what I recall, Danny is the only one with an actual ghost sense. Those ghosts look angry and not at all subdued.

And she's still wearing the DP logo. Somehow, even knowing her son is part ghost, she still has enough detachment/hatred of ghosts to demean them down to an animalistic level.

Vlad's designs are, whoo boy... Unique? Different? Each one portrays a completely different vision of the future that don't really mesh together. His first sketch is rather, uh, let's be completely honest here, Satanic. But other than that apparent dive into absolute evil, he looks more or less the same. Like no time has passed. I guess Clockwork could have yanked him out of space before too long?

By now everybody knows about the second sketch with fat!Vlad, tiger!Maddie, and perfect clone!Daniel. Heck, I knew about Daniel before I even knew there was a Ten Years Later video.

And let me just say this real quick: I love that, as soon as the words "He’s finally got himself a cloned child." were said we all, individually, came to the conclusion that: his name is Daniel Masters, he can be a spoiled jerk but isn't really evil, and he just wants someone to be friends with and play video games with. Like, I've yet to even see him in a TYL setting, he's more of a "Season 4" character.

My other thing I love about this image? Fat!Vlad. For a middle-aged man who kept in perfect shape, who fights with ghost teenagers every day, to suddenly put on weight? To me, in my experience, that means he's happy. He's found a way to be calm and relax and, yes, be settled enough to put on a few pounds. That's what happened to my husband. Before we got together she was an anxious, angry (precious) emo chick. And now she's calm, she's happy, she's adorably chubby~ (don't tell her I said this lol). Like, Vlad's so chill in this sketch that, whenever he finds out Daniel's been hanging out with Danny, he's not even mad! He's just like, "Be home by curfew, love you!" (My TYL Vlad is -absolutely- Maes Hughes. There isn't a single employee at Dalv Corp that hasn't seen a fold out wallet full of Daniel's pictures.)

(And just think, when Daniel brings home his boyfriend/girlfriend, Vlad brings out the baby book and Daniel's S/O is just like, "Why were your first steps when you were fourteen???")

Tiger!Maddie is great, if a little odd. Then again, Vlad's just living the dream of every five year old that just went to the zoo for the first time: "I wanna bring home the big kitty!"

And we get back to crazytown with the third sketch. Vlad wants to be king, what? When? Butch do you... do you know who Vlad is? You were so close with perfect clone!Daniel, and then you pull this. The only thing I can see this working as is some kind of Medieval AU with Dora and Aragon/pre-Sarcophagus Pariah Dark. Other than that, I can't see this sketch fitting in anywhere in DP.

But Vlad's final sketch returns us to the nightmare that is TYL. Vlad was abandoned in space, all human contact cut off, the only person that willingly called him a friend turned his back on him. He's probably ready to curl up and die at that point and then aliens come and kidnap him, forcing him to be a miner and then a coliseum fighter. I can't imagine the blow to his pride all that did.

I can accept that he would keep enough presence of mind to escape. Heck, I can almost believe that he would willingly keep the chain on his arm (though as less of a "reminder of where he came from" and more of a "I'm going to make these guys pay!"). But what really gets me is Butch saying, "he really, really wants to get Danny now".

That's not at all ominous. Not at all.

Like, what is that supposed to mean? I'm sure we're supposed to infer he's coming after Danny, but, would he? After all that time alone, after being broken down by some crazy Criminal Minds aliens? I'm sure that, in all that time Vlad was captured, he must have let it slip that he wasn't the only halfa. That this boy on Earth was more powerful that he had been in his prime. Could he be coming to warn Danny? Maybe the reason he escaped was because the aliens have their eye on a new "champion"?

Danielle is absolutely precious to me. My sweet little girl who only wants to live her own life. I love that her first sketch gives her a bit more of the Vlad influence (especially since I headcanon that she has his fire core and not Danny's ice core). The opposing black and white outfit, though, just looks like a bad Harley Quinn to me.

The second sketch is kind of cutsie, kind of bleh. There's something about Butch's femme designs that just... don't really hit the mark.

I'm adoring her third sketch. The overall feel of "ghost" really comes through with this design (and she finally has matching boots and gloves) and it feels really right with her. I've always loved the idea that she's more ghost than human, and this images hits it just right.

Her final design is ok. We go back to the alternating colors, which I don't like, but she also looks more like Danny, which I do like. Butch says she "likes to party" which I can kind of see. She's full of spunk, she has an adventurous side, she'd love to go out and see everything and get involved with as much as she can. The fact that she can shape ectoplasm into words seems like something she'd be into. Just imagine her floating outside of Vlad's window, cussing him out with floaty green writing.

Now, we finally get to Danny. His first sketch isn't too bad. He has a dedicated place for the Thermos - good idea on his part. A little simple, little plain. Loving the cargo pants, tho.

His second design looks a little more like a plain upgrade form his usual hazmat, but with more armor. Makes me think Sam and Tucker went to a sporting goods store and slapped all the knee/elbow pads they could on him to keep him from hurting himself so much.

I like the idea of the third design. When he embraces his ghost side, he gets more Dan-like qualities. I think something like this would take him a while to adjust to, but he would be better for it. This design feels like it would be the strongest one - delving into his ghost half and pulling power from it instead of fighting to keep it balanced with his human half.

Danny's final design, however, make me think. His hazmat has been replaced, or most likely upgraded, to include more Fenton gadgets - specifically trading the Thermos for a Glove. But the Glove, instead of just being a catch/release system, actually uses the caught ghost to power his suit. The green isn't just for design, it's the power he's taken from other ghosts he's captured. Does this mean he's just taking whatever the captured ghost's power is (like weather-control, or even power over boxes)? Or is it like the rest of Fenton tech where he's actually taking the ectoplasm from the captured ghost to power himself? How much is that hurting the other ghost?

As strong as Danny is, as strong as he keeps getting, why does he need to power a suit to keep fighting?

I've been thinking about this final design, thinking about the designs for all the other characters, especially the Fentons. I thought about how Danny would fight until his last breath to protect Amity Park, and, like...

Did he?

Did Danny die at some point prior to Ten Years Later?

Only once is Danny referred to as Danny Fenton, and that's during the sketch for Jack's original design. He's not even called Fenton in his own redesigns. He's had several sketches, but all of them were for Phantom. Heck, Vlad got a human drawing, even if it wasn't for his final design.

And the more I think about it, the more it seems to make sense.

Jazz gave up on psychology when her little brother died. She probably became depressed and couldn't leave the house. Wiring herself into Fenton Works seemed like the next logical step - at least this way she could help without having to face his friends who could go on without him.

Jack was probably grieving when he was attacked. He lost his son, his eye, and his leg.

Without having to reconcile her son's humanity with his ghostlyness, Maddie was free to revert back to a lifetime of thinking that all ghosts were nonsentient. She probably didn't get enough of a chance to being to change her views permanently, so she sees nothing wrong with how she's treating the leashed ghosts.

And Danny himself would even have an excuse for his suit. I've seen in the fandom that the reason Danny is such a strong ghost is because he's young, and he's still growing. That the more he ages, the stronger he becomes. When Danny died, he would have stopped growing in power. Heck, he might have even started -losing- power, and trying to revert to how strong he was when he first "died" in the accident. Having a suit that runs on other ghosts, using their power to replace his own, would actually make sense, especially if Maddie helped make it.

[queensofmystery]

Winter Prompts 44, 90 or 129 pleaaaaaaaaase.

Re: this post

I chose 129: “We’re not going to spend the holidays alone andsad. I won’t allow that!” (I cheated and changed it a couple ways, but it’s mostly the same statement I’m sorry this went somewhere I had no idea it was gonna go and I got excited and just ran with it.)

Takes place in season 4 at some point, before Joan changesher passcode so Sherlock can’t guess it. (Referenced in 4x04) So before thepolyamory episode (which will be a turning point for Joan and her perception ofher relationship preferences, as was awesomely suggested here.) It should beclear by now I don’t care about strict timelines, since the writers for theshow don’t either.

And if you’re unaware, season 4 is when I imagine Joan andSherlock get together non-platonically. And since Gloria was the one to requestthis prompt, she gets more shippy content than I would otherwise put out.Non-shippers are warned.

-

It was February 14th. A most useless holiday, asmost holidays were, in Sherlock’s opinion. He wasn’t even overly fond ofchocolate.

But the days leading up to this year’s Valentine’s Day hadbeen particularly tense in the brownstone. This time last year, Andrew Mittalhad been alive, and Joan had been dating him. These two facts ensured Sherlockcould not leave the day unacknowledged. Whether it was celebrated…Sherlock wasnot precisely sure about that. Yet. But he had to figure it out soon.

It was precisely 5:38am. Watson would not be awake for atleast two hours. He had even gone into her room and turned off the alarms shehad set, just on the off chance she might sleep in if given the opportunity.

Now Sherlock stood in the basement, before Clyde in histerrarium, studying what Watson had chosen to put up on the walls. She was fondof art, Watson, though not precisely the same kind as he was. More modern, someabstract, some animals, some people. None of them by well-known pre-20thcentury artists.

But one particular piece caught his eye, and it gave him anidea. He turned on his heels, his eyes bright and his mind sharp with freshplans.

-

Joan shot up in her bed, milliseconds after realizing itwasn’t an alarm that had woken her. She fumbled for her cell phone on her nightstand,and let out a curse. 9:51. How could she have slept through her—Oh no. Hedidn’t.

She went to her alarms in her phone. None of them were on.She specifically remembered turning two alarms on last night. Sherlock hadturned them off. He’d cracked her passcode again.

“Dammit Sherlock!” she growled to herself, tossing her phoneon the bed in front of her, glaring at it.

Then she remembered what day it was, and cold fingerswrapped themselves around her heart. Her phone flashed the information up ather, she couldn’t ignore it. February 14th.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the feelings away. Itwas just another day. Sherlock wouldn’t acknowledge it, that was for sure.There was nothing to worry about.

Eventually she made her way moodily down to the kitchen tomake tea, telling herself it was too late for coffee. Finding nothing fromSherlock at this point, she glared at the heating tea kettle, wondering what hecould be up to. He seldom left the brownstone without leaving her a note or atext, or calling her to wake her up. So either he’d been dragged away on somepressing case that had left him unable to contact her yet, he was in trouble,or he was somewhere here she hadn’t checked.

She didn’t bother with the roof. The chill of the wood flooragainst her bare feet was enough to tell her it was below freezing outside. Soall that was left was the basement.

A few months ago she had taken the nails out of the basementdoor, so it could be entered from inside the brownstone again. She’d offered noexplanation, and Sherlock hadn’t asked for any, for which she was grateful. Ithad been a barrier she had needed once, but as time went on it came to be asymbol of an idea that still mocked her. The idea that she needed a place ofher own to be happy. Having anything belong solely to her had lost its appeallong ago. Being selfish had led to nothing but loss for her; she didn’t wantanything to remind her of that anymore.

Her mug of tea still steaming in one hand, holding therailing with the other, Joan made her way down to the lowest level of thebrownstone, immediately shivering at the deepening cold. By the time shereached the bottom step, she knew Sherlock was there, by the light and thesmell of…paint?

Joan saw Sherlock cross-legged on the floor, his back toher, both his hands occupied by something in front of him. Joan approachedslowly, squinting at him in confusion. “Sherlock? What are you doing?”

Then she spotted Clyde, ambling across a mostly blank sheetof large white paper, a familiar apparatus attached to his back.

“You’re…making Clyde paint?” Joan stopped next to Sherlock,and her eyes widened as she took in the scene literally laid out before her.

Several paintings covered what available space there was onthe basement floor, most of them in the process of drying. Some were clearlyabstract, done by Clyde, while others…

“I noticed you had Clyde’s first and only painting hung onyour wall. I thought Clyde and I could add to your collection,” Sherlock said,not looking at her, but continuing his work.

She took a deep breath in, trying to wrap her head aroundwhat was happening. “How long have you been at this?”

“Hmm. Six a.m., thereabouts.”

She took a careful sip of her tea, the shock of heat againsther upper lip telling her she, in fact, wasn’t dreaming.

“Why?” she finally got out, a strangely warm sensationfilling her chest that she told herself was due to her tea and not anything todo with the scene in front of her.

“I have been remiss of late, Watson. Save you birthday,there are many dates I have refused to acknowledge that mark certainmilestones, or holidays. You know that if something doesn’t have to do with ourwork, I would prefer to keep it that way. But your office environment is of utmostimportance to how you conduct your work, and I thought Clyde and I couldcontribute a more homely environment.”

Sherlock gave the lengthy explanation without moving hiseyes from the painting in front of him. Joan found herself smiling at him,seeing the concentration on his face, noticing a smudge of yellow paint on theside of his nose where he’d scratched it.

Joan lowered herself cross-legged next to him, setting hertea aside. “Can I help?” she asked, keeping her voice soft due to her closerproximity to him. Their shoulders didn’t brush, they came close, but Joansensed the strict physical boundaries between them could shrink this morning.

Sherlock quickly glanced at her face, locking eyes with herfor perhaps two milliseconds. Finding nothing amiss with what he saw, he hummedhis assent and took out a blank sheet of paper from beneath the painting he wascurrently working on, setting it before her. The small jars of paint were laidout just beyond his current painting, and he moved the glass of paint-cloudedwater closer to her while handing her a choice of several paintbrushes in thesame motion. The way he moved, Joan could sense his relief that she’d chosen tojoin him, but he was still tense.

Joan took a paintbrush, noting just how much paint hadgotten onto Sherlock’s hands and forearms in a span of four hours.

They worked quietly next to each other for a few minutes. Atone point Clyde came close to Sherlock, and he took the opportunity to freshenthe tortoise’s dry paintbrush with a fresh dip of red paint. Clyde continued onhis journey, wandering past Joan, leaving streaks of red through random streaksof green, purple, yellow, pink, and many other colors Joan would take longer toname. Four hours was quite some time to come up with color combinations.

Still looking at Clyde, Joan moved her brush toward the jarof green paint at the same moment Sherlock did. She felt a cold poke againstthe top of her hand, and turned to see Sherlock moving his hand back from hersas if he’d been burned. He’d left a streak of green paint on her hand.

“Apologies, Watson,” he said, his words coming out strangelystiff. She looked at his almost pained expression and laughed.

“It’s alright, Sherlock. It’s nothing compared to what you’vedone to yourself,” she said, indicating his hand closest to her, grinning. Theouter part of his hand and arm were almost completely coated, clearly fromleaning across some of Clyde’s creations before they were dry.

“Ah, well.” Sherlock turned his arm as much as he could toview the mess. “I had to prevent Clyde from making art out of our rug,” heexplained, giving his closest approximation of a closed mouth smile to Joan.She laughed again.

“I see. Did you ever finger paint as a child, Sherlock?” sheasked, tilting her head at him.

“I don’t recall,” he said, almost side-eying her, suspectingher of some mischief. She couldn’t help her smirk.

“Well, I feel I should even the score, so I’ll show you,”she said, and took up two jars of paint, red and blue. She poured a smallamount of each on her paper, enough that she thought it would cover her ownslender hands. Setting the jars aside, she placed both palms flat in the paint,unconsciously smiling at the strange, cool sensation against the sensitive skinof her hands. Then, lifting her paint-covered hands, she placed them on the nearestpainting of Clyde’s just beyond her own paper. Lifting her hands gingerly away,she left behind one red hand print, one blue, the thumbs and index fingers ofthe prints vaguely purple from the paint blending.

She looked over to Sherlock, only to find him in the processof copying her, a fresh piece of paper in front of him, and taking up two jarsof paint. Yellow and green. As he poured the paints, Joan took advantage of hisdistraction and spoke.

“I know why you did this, Sherlock. Thank you,” she said,forcing the words and wondering why she had to at the same time.

Sherlock looked over at her, remembering a second later tostop pouring the paint. He had that expression that was a combination ofconfusion and surprise, his mouth almost puckered as he fought to process thisnew information that he felt deserved more than cursory attention.

He slowly set down the paint jars, his mouth going into athin line. “I thought it would be worse to go about as usual, Watson. You havenot been your usual self of late,” he said, carefully not looking at her.Again.

“I know. But this…” She looked around at all the paintings,including those of Sherlock’s that astounded her in their level of care. Shehad seen Sherlock sketch but never knew he could paint. “This is good. Easierthan…anything else would be really.”

Peripherally, she saw Sherlock dip his left hand in theyellow paint and reach over to her red hand print, laying his hand over it. Itcaused him to all but drape his arm over her knee, and he came so close shecould smell his aftershave and the scent of clean sweat, telling her despitethe chill down here, he was more than nervous of her reaction.

But as he leaned back, leaving behind his yellow hand printover her red one, he lifted that same hand to her face, not touching, but his quickeyes considering her in that way he had. She noticed another streak of bluepaint on his right cheek.

“You’re not going to spend the holiday alone and sad,Watson. I won’t allow that,” he whispered, focusing on her eyes with atrepidation she knew all too well. It wasn’t just her response he was fearing.

“I’m not alone,” she said, meeting his stare squarely,resolving to keep her own fear hidden. It wasn’t because she thought she neededto be strong, but she knew if she didn’t hide the fear, it would be all shecould feel.

Sherlock’s hand near her face did not move, but he drew backhis head slightly in disbelief. “If you think to name me and Clyde as propercompany on such a date, Watson, I must disagree.”

“Not on a date,no. But right now…” She slowly reached up to touch his hand, still wet withyellow paint, hers still wet with red. When he didn’t draw away, sheintertwined her fingers with his. The warmth between their palms was wet, andmessy, but Joan didn’t care.

“You’re all I want,” she said, fighting not to look away.She saw his eyes soften in a way she seldom had. And never while looking ather. His other arm came around her waist, still tentatively, but it was enoughthat she let herself lean forward into his chest, tucking her face into hisneck. He let go of her hand to embrace her with both arms, and she wrapped herarms loosely around his waist. They were getting paint all over each other, butJoan thought it only fitting. Sherlock had known better than to make her talkabout the mess of her emotions. It was easier, now, just to express them—througheverything but words.

-

Gloria, I hope the inspiration for this was familiar to you.;)

[hudsonespie]

Future Of Ocean And Cryosphere Depends On Critical Choices Being Made Now – IPCC

The latest Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) Special Report, published, highlights the urgency of prioritizing timely, ambitious and coordinated action to address unprecedented and enduring changes in the ocean and cryosphere.

The Institute of Marine Engineering, Science & Technology (IMarEST), holding the privileged position of Observer Status at the IPCC, was in attendance at the 51st Session of the IPCC to approve the report, held in the Principality of Monaco from 20-23 September 2019.

The session saw scientists and policymakers from the 195 IPCC member governments refining the Summary for Policymakers (SPM) of the Special Report on the Ocean and Cryosphere in a Changing Climate (SROCC), and then formally approving this and the underlying full report, which has been published.

Representation Image – Credits: ipcc.ch

The SROCC report represents the work of 104 scientists from 36 countries, referencing nearly 7,000 publications, and receiving a total of 31,176 comments from expert reviewers and governments in 80 countries. Here is a brief synopsis with comment from the IMarEST delegation present.

Observed changes and impacts

The report initially confirms and corroborates the findings of the 3rd Ocean State Report, recently published in the IMarEST’s Journal of Operational Oceanography. The planet has witnessed significant climatic changes since pre-industrial times and the SROCC highlights considerable warming of the ocean, not just at its surface but also extending down to great depths with a greater prevalence of marine heatwaves.

Ongoing loss off oceanic oxygen and acidification are further described, alongside sea level rises that are stated to have been accelerating in recent decades due to increasing loss of ice from the Greenland and Antarctic ice sheets at rates of 278mm ± 11 yr-1 and 155mm ± 19 yr-1 respectively.

Whilst detrimental impacts on ecosystems and human have already been witnessed the report elaborates on the effects on the abundance and distribution of ecologically, culturally and economically important animal and plant species.

Geographical shifts of marine species ranging from plankton and fish to mammals and seabirds have been occurring at alarming rates as a result of ocean warming with estimated range shifts of 52± 33km decade-1 (some plant groups) and 29± 16km (some animal groups) since the 1970s. This has already resulted in reduced ecosystem functioning and altered ecosystem structures.

Shallow coastal ecosystems are confirmed to be under huge strain, with the report detailing a 50% decline in wetlands coverage over the 20th century. Seagrass meadows and kelp forests have also been hit hard.

Projected changes and risks

Expanding on the grim tidings portrayed by the observations up to the current day, the SROCC delivers the IPCC’s projected changes in the future ocean system. The cutting edge scientific research delivers still more saddening outlook, as the pattern of warming seen since the 1970s is likely to continue. Further loss of Arctic sea ice, deoxygenation, increased acidification and a heightened frequency of marine heatwaves are some of the notable consequences that can be expected by the turn of the century.

Further sea level rise is an apparent inevitability, with the previous figures cited by the IPCC under their fifth assessment cycle report (AR5) guidance released in 2010 being revised upwards due to a larger than expected contribution from the Antarctic ice sheet. Coastal wetlands could be all but wiped out by the turn of the century, with a global loss of 20-90% predicted by 2100.

Such a dire outlook will undoubtedly have extensive impacts for the planet and for modern-day human life, with physical risks to low-lying coastal communities in cities, small islands and other regions.. All types of responses to sea level rise such as protection and ecosystem-based adaption will have a role to play in an integrated and sequenced response to rising sea levels.

However, vulnerable communities, especially those in coral reef and polar environments will face adaption limits well before the end of the century – even under a low greenhouse gas emission pathway. Without major adaptation, flood damage every year can be expected to increase by two to three orders of magnitude by the turn of the century.

The consequences for human livelihoods and wellbeing will be further exacerbated by the decreases in abundance, distribution shifts of species and depleted fish catches. Global-scale biomass of marine animals is projected to drastically decrease by 15.0+/-5.9%, with maximum catch potential of fisheries decreasing by 20.5-24.1% by 2100 under a high-emissions scenario – 3-4 times larger than a low-emissions scenario, placing significant strain on incomes and food security.

“The SROCC brings together in one place a view of profound changes taking place and their potential consequences. Unless rapid action is taken to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, it paints a bleak picture. In the absence of concerted action, the changes taking place have enormous consequences for the ocean, and by extension, the Earth as a whole. From the loss of coral reefs and the rise of sea levels to ocean deoxygenation, the ocean is at a tipping point. The report is a clear call for us to act on climate change before it is too late for the ocean and for all life on earth.” Prof. Ralph Rayner FIMarEST, Co-Chair of the IMarEST Special Interest Group on Operational Oceanography and Editor of the IMarEST’s Journal of Operational Oceanography.

Options for climate-resilient development

While making for a sobering read, the report injects some optimism with a discussion on the viable options for best mitigating the climatic effects and preserving the marine and cryosphere ecosystems. The development of extensive networks of protected areas is suggested as a means to help maintain existing ecosystem services and facilitate the poleward and altitudinal movements of populations, species and ecosystems – shifts already occurring in response to sea-level rise and global warming.

However, the SROCC warns that while effective, the cost of coastal habitat restoration will be considerable, ranging from thousands to hundreds of thousands of US$ per hectare and that its effectiveness will be limited to low emission scenarios.

Such strategies can be supported by well-managed coastal blue carbon ecosystems like seagrass meadows, mangroves and tidal marshes that will provide coastal protection and support fisheries. However, again, the effectiveness of such strategies is modest, with their global potential likely to only offset <2% of current emissions.

Care must also be taken when deciding the appropriate mitigation strategies for coastal communities as the IPCC states the technical limits of some protection measures, such as hard coastal protection, will be reached under a high-emissions scenario by 2100 and the biophysical limits of softer ecosystem-based adaptation will be reached well within that time period.

The report is concludes with a plea for the critically urgent, ambitious and coordinated implementation of low-emission pathways and adaptation actions to reduce the climatic impact on the ocean and cryosphere.

“The SROCC presents a very worrying prognosis for the health of our future oceans and the planet. It is imperative that we take immediate action and respond to these stark warning signs and implement robust, sustainable and collaborative plans to mitigate the consequences of climate change as best as we can before it is too late. The global membership of the IMarEST has a significant role to play. Addressing the issues highlighted by the SROCC will require the most competent, ethical and committed professional engineers, scientists, technologists and policymakers to work together, across disciplines, across divisions of age, experience and gender and across political and geographical boundaries. The IMarEST is uniquely placed to support the marine profession to rise this tremendous challenge.” Dr Bev Mackenzie, Technical & Policy Director, IMarEST.

Read the full IPCC report here.

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[caveartfair]

10 Masters of the Self-Portrait, from Frida Kahlo to Cindy Sherman

Before the Renaissance, artists were quite shy when it came to selfies. A painter might render a small likeness of himself into the background of a busy group scene, but rarely more than that. It wasn’t until the 15th century, when the German painter Albrecht Dürer began creating detailed images of his face and torso, that self-portraiture became its own genre.

Since then, artists from Rembrandt to Frida Kahlo have made self-portraiture a central theme of their work. “The artists themselves dictate the terms on which we are invited to judge them,” writes artist Liz Rideal about the genre in the newly updated edition of the Phaidon tome 500 Self-Portraits. “These are visual autobiographical statements that reflect their times.” Here, we trace the practices of 10 great masters of the self-portrait.

Frida Kahlo

Autorretrato con chango y loro, 1942. Frida Kahlo MALBA

Autorretrato con traje de terciopelo, 1926. Frida Kahlo Galeria Enrique Guerrero

The Mexican artist made dozens of self-portraits from her teenage years onwards, images that have cemented the painter’s face—with prominent black unibrow, slight mustache, and rosy cheeks and lips—into the cultural consciousness. She often painted herself among the tropical plants and animals of her native country, a nod to her proud Chicana heritage, as in Self-Portrait with Bonito (1941); other times, she is portrayed within simplistic interiors, like Itzcuintli Dog with Me (1938).

Kahlo also used self-portraiture to communicate her suffering. She endured a lifetime of chronic pain as a result of falling victim to a near-fatal bus accident at age 18. Surrealistic works like The Broken Column (1944) convey her anguish: metal nails puncture the crying artist’s skin, while a column crumbles within her body—a reference to the iron handrail that impaled her nearly 20 years earlier.

In the years since her death, in 1954, the rise of “Fridamania” has turned Kahlo’s image into a commercial force; she has appeared on everything from stamps and tote bags to nail polish and household slippers. We’ll never know if Kahlo would have embraced her global celebrity status, but we do know that she wanted to be seen. She left behind over 50 works in which she presented herself exactly as she wanted others to see her: as a bold, self-styled, and afflicted artist who championed Mexico’s indigenous cultures.

Ana Mendieta

Creek, 1974. Ana Mendieta Gropius Bau

While primarily known for leaving the imprint of her body in patches of land, a poetic form of self-portraiture, Cuban-American artist Ana Mendieta also created several photographic self-portraits while she was a student in the early 1970s. Her face is visible in these works, but Mendieta distorts, disguises, and otherwise disfigures it, purposely preventing viewers from seeing the artist as she truly is.

For Untitled (Facial Cosmetic Variations) (1972), the artist adorned herself with a wig, covered her face with makeup, and pulled a pair of sheer pantyhose over her head. In Untitled (Glass on Body Imprints) (1972), she went further, grotesquely altering her features by pressing her face onto panes of plexiglass. The same year, the artist asked a male colleague to cut off his beard; she then glued the hair onto her own face in a gender-bending performance that’s chronicled in the photo series Untitled (Facial Hair Transplant).

Barkley L. Hendricks

Steve, 1976. Barkley L. Hendricks "Human Interest: Portraits from the Whitney’s Collection" at Whitney Museum of American Art, New York

Lawdy Mama, 1969. Barkley L. Hendricks Brooklyn Museum

The late painter Barkley L. Hendricks, who died last year at age 72, was mostly known for painting full-body portraits of his stylish African-American peers, but he occasionally represented himself in bold, slyly witty self-portraits, which borrow as much from art history as they playfully subvert it. “I was not fascinated with myself as much as Rembrandt or depressed to the extent of van Gogh,” he once said. “However, at times, I could not resist myself as subject.”

An early example is Icon for My Man Superman (Superman never saved any black people—Bobby Seale) (1969). Taking cues from Medieval portraiture, Hendricks painted himself (sporting sunglasses and an afro) in the middle of the canvas and facing forward; and in modern fashion, the artist casually crosses his arms over a t-shirt bearing the superhero’s logo. He exudes the kind of nonchalant self-confidence that he was so adept at capturing.

In 1977, Hendricks painted the tongue-in-cheek self-portrait Brilliantly Endowed. Appearing almost fully nude in front of a pitch-black background, Hendricks chews on a toothpick and subtly touches his genitals while standing proudly in contrapposto—referencing the heroic white marbles of Michelangelo and Bernini. In another self-portrait from that year, Slick (1977), Hendricks strikes a similar pose in a fully white suit that he pairs with a multicolor kufi cap, a traditional staple of men’s fashion across Africa.

Vincent van Gogh

Self-Portrait, 1889. Vincent van Gogh Musee d'Orsay, Paris

Self-Portrait as a Painter, 1887-1888. Vincent van Gogh Van Gogh Museum

Try to picture the Dutch artist Vincent van Gogh and you’ll likely think of him with a large white bandage over his right ear. This popular mental image of the tortured Post-Impressionist master stems from Self-Portrait with Bandaged Ear (1889), one of more than 30 self-portraits he painted within a span of only four years.

Before beginning his first self-portraits, van Gogh primarily painted landscapes and interiors, with the occasional portrait of a local townsperson. By 1886, the artist was yearning to develop his skills in portraiture, but lacked the money needed to pay models. So he found a solution: he would paint himself. “If I can manage to paint the colouring of my own head, which is not to be done without some difficulty,” he wrote in 1888, “I shall likewise be able to paint the heads of other good souls, men and women.”

Whether shown sitting or working, and often sporting a straw hat or smoking a pipe, van Gogh painted his red-haired likeness with the pulsating brushstrokes and saturated swirls that characterize his style. Yet after the ear-cutting episode of December 1888, van Gogh created only two self-portraits displaying his injured side—which, because he worked from a mirror reflection, was actually the left side of his face.

The following year, van Gogh stopped making self-portraits altogether, and he died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in 1890. A full century later, in 1998, his Portrait of the Artist Without his Beard (1889)—which may have been the final time van Gogh painted himself—was purchased at auction for $71.5 million, becoming one of the most expensive self-portraits ever sold.

Cindy Sherman

Untitled, #571, 2016. Cindy Sherman "Cindy Sherman: Imitation of Life" at The Broad, Los Angeles

Cindy Sherman’s hugely influential oeuvre is dominated by the artist’s face—yet none of her works are, in truth, self-portraits. Rather, Sherman uses her body as a vessel or a canvas, bringing hundreds of characters to life in photographs for which she plays both artist and subject, working in front of and behind the lens.

Sherman has assumed the role of this artist-model-actress hybrid since she was a college student in 1975, when she dressed up in costumes and theatrical makeup for photobooth-style shots that anticipate the body of work which propelled her to fame two years later: her “Untitled Film Stills” series (1977–80). Across these 70 black-and-white photos, Sherman takes on dozens of feminine tropes seen in Hollywood films and B-movies alike, from the damsel in distress to the sexualized pin-up girl.

The following decade saw Sherman create two of her best-known photographs: Untitled #153 (1985), where the artist dons a grey wig and stares endlessly into space while laying on a patch of dirt, and Untitled #96 (1981), showing the artist in the guise of a blasé teenager (it notched $3.9 million at auction in 2011, becoming what was then the most expensive photograph ever sold). In the late ’80s, Sherman photographed herself in drag for her “History Portraits” series (1988–90); in one image, she portrayed herself as the Roman wine god Bacchus.

In the 21st century, this inventive chameleon has photographed herself dressed as clowns, fortune tellers, and youth-hungry women who belong on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Indeed, the central tenet of her highly creative practice remains: Cindy Sherman will never take a photo of Cindy Sherman—and if she does, she’ll digitally alter her face beyond the point of recognition, like the freakish “selfies” that have populated the artist’s Instagram since mid-2017. After all, as she once said, “I’m not about revealing myself.”

Pablo Picasso

Autoportrait (Self-Portrait), 1906. Pablo Picasso Musée Picasso Paris

Self-Portrait, Late 1901. Pablo Picasso Tate Modern

Pablo Picasso is known for the experimentation and reinvention that characterized his seven-plus-decade career, and in the smattering of self-portraits he left behind, one can witness those transformations: from the romanticized version of his 15-year-old self to the fragmented self-portraits he completed at the age of 90.

Indeed his earliest Self-Portrait (1896) seems closer to the work of Delacroix or Turner than what we know best of Picasso’s style. But the dawn of his Blue Period, in 1901, saw the young Picasso’s inventiveness blossom. As is evident in his haunting self-portrait from that year, the 20-year-old had significantly matured over those five years, not just physically (with handsome wisps of facial hair), but artistically too. Following another six years of creative development, Picasso would make his first Cubist self-portraits, rendering his visage in an increasingly geometric manner. Scholars have compared his 1907 self-portrait to the angular faces seen in another work he painted that year, the famous Les Demoiselles d’Avignon.

Few painted self-portraits by Picasso are known to exist from after the year 1907, but the artist drew a handful of images of himself in crayon and pencil during the summer of 1972. One of them may be the most realistic of all: in Self-Portrait Facing Death, the invincible Picasso renders himself looking tired and vulnerable, an artist about to meet his maker.

Rembrandt van Rijn

Self Portrait at the Age of 63, 1669. Rembrandt van Rijn "Rembrandt: The Late Works" at The National Gallery, London. Oct. 15th, 2014 – Jan. 18th, 2015.

Self Portrait, 1659, 1659. Rembrandt van Rijn National Gallery of Art, Washington D.C.

Building upon the precedent set by Dürer, the Dutch Baroque master Rembrandt van Rijn created self-portraits throughout his prolific career. Indeed he created nearly 100 renderings of himself from his early days as an artist until the year of his death—including some 40 paintings, 30 etchings, and a handful of drawings. The paintings chronicle his development in a way that’s hardly been paralleled since.

Rembrandt always pictured himself in front of a simple backdrop, and often from the torso up.

In his earliest examples from the late 1620s, he is shown with smooth, porcelain skin and voluminous curls, which often partially obscure his face. By the following decade, he favored presenting himself in hats, such as a black velvet cap that appears in more than one of his paintings.

Upon reaching middle age, Rembrandt depicted himself naturally and honestly, with wrinkles and greying hair. This realism extended to the artist’s portrayal of his psychological states: One striking example from 1659, now in Washington, D.C.’s National Gallery of Art, was painted after he suffered major financial losses, the stress of which seems embedded in his face. In 1669, in the months leading up to his death at age 63, he created no less than four self-portraits, compositions in which the aging master appears with thinning silver locks, deep-set eyes, and worn skin.

Andy Warhol

Self-Portrait, 1978. Andy Warhol Sotheby's

Andy Warhol used to say that he made self-portraits to “remind [himself] that [he’s] still around.” Indeed the Pop Art icon’s image and persona were arguably more central to his work than for any artist that came before him—despite (or due to) being completely contrived. Much like his fellow New Yorker Cindy Sherman, Warhol’s self-portraits revolved around the notion of the self as an artificial construct.

The first of these, from 1963, show the artist in a dime-store photobooth wearing a raincoat and sunglasses, striking theatrical poses like the movie stars he photographed. (These were created at the suggestion of his dealer, Ivan Karp.) By 1966, a new self-portrait, repeated nine times in silkscreen and painted in blocks of color, proclaimed Warhol as a celebrity himself. Yet with his facial features overwhelmed by color and shadow, Warhol is still effectively obscured from the viewer. In his 1981 series of drag self-portraits shot with a Polaroid, Warhol further disguises himself, this time as several made-up, blonde-wig-sporting characters.

But in Warhol’s final self-portraits—shot months before his untimely death in February 1987—the image-obsessed provocateur rids himself of any costumes or alterations, instead appearing starkly natural in Six Self-Portraits (1986). His brightly lit head looks frightened and disembodied against a black abyss behind him, almost like a skull. Like the last self-portraits of Picasso, Warhol appears to be aware of his looming mortality—the reality that in the end, no matter how we fashion ourselves, we are all flesh and bone.

Albrecht Dürer

Self-portrait, 1500. Albrecht Dürer Alte Pinakothek, Munich

Self-Portrait, 1493. Albrecht Dürer Museo Nacional del Prado

The German Renaissance master was only 13 years old when he drew his first self-portrait. As a 22-year-old, after completing his formal artistic training, he painted himself as a young man on the brink of a revolutionary career in Portrait of the Artist Holding a Thistle (1493). Dürer went on to paint and engrave several more self-portraits through his twenties, nearly all of which show the budding master at a three-quarter angle. With each of these works, the artist seemed to grow more self-assured.

At age 28, Dürer painted his most confident—and his most famous—self-portrait. Posing frontally before a black background, the artist is shown with curled locks that flow over a fur-trimmed coat, which he pulls closed with a particularly meaningful hand gesture: that of Christ’s blessing. Drawing a parallel between the artist and the holy savior, Dürer’s self-portrait is equal parts striking and complex—and it continues to captivate viewers today.

Artemisia Gentileschi

Self-Portrait as the Allegory of Painting, ca. 1639. Artemisia Gentileschi The Royal Collection, Windsor Castle, England

Susannah and the Elders, 1622. Artemisia Gentileschi "Beyond Caravaggio" at National Gallery, London

As a follower of the Baroque master Caravaggio and the daughter of Orazio Gentileschi (a successful artist in his own right), Artemisia Gentileschi was the first woman accepted into the Florentine Academy of Design, and one of very few women in 17th-century Italy who had the means and connections to pursue painting. Indeed, imagery of female painters was virtually nonexistent, which makes Gentileschi’s 1638–39 Self-Portrait as the Allegory of Painting all the more significant.

Here, the artist turns herself into the embodiment of painting itself. Based on Cesare Ripa’s visual description of the allegory from his 1593 text Iconologica, Gentileschi portrays herself with disheveled black hair, wearing a gold necklace and shimmering green dress, and holding a brush and palette. She purposely leaves out one symbol traditionally associated with the allegory of painting: a cloth covering her mouth.

Gentileschi refused to keep quiet, even after being raped at age 17 by a painting teacher—a traumatic experience that hurt her reputation and inspired her to create the famous Judith Slaying Holofernes (c. 1620). While the work depicts the titular biblical story, a common subject among artists, Gentileschi inserted herself into her own violent rendition of the scene: she as the raging Judith, her rapist as the beheaded Holofernes.

from Artsy News