#(( GOD... gj tho lost! ))

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

.....spoilery tag talk

[sterlingsilverarchive]

Preparing for the Inevitable (Steven and Wallace)

Closed Thread between:  Steven @sterlingsilverchampion Wallace @sootopolitangrace

Steven:

Rushing down the hallway, after sending another trainer home packing with their pokemon defeated, Steven snapped his finger and waited as Klefki, Alloy, caught up to him with one of his master room keys to Ever Grande's meeting room areas. Private, of course, due to the fact that what he wanted to discuss with Wallace was of mere importance.

The league's future.

When Wallace arrived on the scene, Steven waited a moment before placing one of Ever Grande's past records onto the table in between them. "Hello, Wallace." He greeted, although there seemed to be something else in that tone besides the outwardly friendliness he usually had. "I hope your challenges today have been successful. Anyway, that's not why I summoned you here. Do you recall this?"

On the table the folder was opened to a document form. It was a record from when Steven and Wallace had fought before in Ever Grande's open conference. The date wasn't THAT long ago.

Wallace:

The trip to Ever Grande was never too difficult of a trip for Wallace, given how close it was to Sootopolis. It wasn't uncommon for him to visit for anything they might need or to personally deliver any kind of paper work might remain. This time, however, Wallace was called to a meeting with the champion himself. This didn't really bug him too much, since Steven was a good person and someone he considered a friend, though he would have to focus on business for now.

Never one to show up late, it was only a a couple minutes of waiting before Wallace would arrive in the meeting room. He moved into the room quickly, looking to the file with a curious glance. "Greetings, Steven." He responded as he took his seat across form the Champion, noticing something was off. What it was, he couldn't tell, but there was... Something not right about this. He pushed that to the back of his mind as Steven spoke up once more.

Wallace slide the folder closer, gazing over the report. The previous Ever Grande Open Conference... Particularly his match with Steven? It was hard to forget matches with Steven, given how close and intense they were. That battle in particular, he had managed to force Steven to his last pokemon before Milotic was defeated. It was a good match, no doubt, but didn't seem too important in his eyes. He had learned from it, but dwelling on defeat wasn't good for the mind.

"I do." He says, the calm in his voice hiding the curiosity roaming free in his mind. He would let Steven speak, remaining quiet while he looked over the document for any signs of strange details.

Steven:

So he did remember it. Good, this would make his job all the much easier as he went ahead and and continued on with the look of relief in his eyes. Something that important was hard to not forget, especially if it had caused both of them to draw out the battle until the very last pokemon. Their signatures, of all pokemon, too.

"There's been something i've been wanting to bring up with you ever since that battle. As you know, the league system works like a power house. Those who are deemed worthy are recommended and tested to see how strong they are before prospering to become the league's next thriving Champion."   

Bitter were his words, however. It felt like Steven was offering something as precious as any sort of gold that he could let go of, for his best friend to take. He needed to do this. He WANTED Wallace to say yes to this proposal. Despite the fact that he didn't want to give it up... 

"Wallace... from one friend to another, I want to ask you something utterly important." The silver champion looks at the water-type user, but now with a mix of hesitation in his eyes. 

"I... want you to consider taking the champion title from me. Not just the rank, the whole region's title of Champion. If there is one person I would rather take it from me, one who is strong enough to push me up to that point," He pauses for a moment. "...is you. You're my best friend, after all, and despite all that we've been through in Hoenn, I know that you're more than capable of managing yourself to have it as well as continue with your contest entries." 

Wallace:

Of all the things Wallace expected out of this conversation, it was not this. His mouth opened as if to say something, yet no sound escaped his mouth. It was quickly closed once more as he shifted to sit up and look at Steven once more. This couldn't an easy thing for Steven to request. Wallace knew his friend held the title close to his heart, and that giving something like this up... It was not something Steven would do without thinking.

However, he also knew there were issues with this that would need to be discussed, and that this was not something to confirm immediately. He had time to think things over, to work on everything... 

"I will consider it, Steven." Wallace says in the all too familiar tone of his. The careful volume and gentle touch to his words that seemed to convey everything was alright. "However, I will only take the role if I can truly best you. Any other way would not be a fitting way to take such a title from you." He smiles after this, watching the champion.

If he was honest, he was worried about Steven. What had come about that would make him consider this? What would Steven do after this? He didn't think that Steven would simply choose to go work at Devon full time, given how he talked of the stress it brought before. He couldn't bring himself to ask directly, but he wouldn't let himself remain silent on the issue. If Steven was having a problem, surely Wallace should try to help...

Steven:

"I assume you have plans for if I am able to take the title, yes? Your stability is important here, Steven, and as your friend I would not take this from you without you being secure afterwards." His concern shows in his tone, but he does not voice the storm of other worries that dot his mind. There would be a time and a place to discuss those things, but this was business.

The consideration was taken up by Wallace, which is what Steven was expecting form him. He wasn't doubtful that his friend wouldn't take it, Steven was a confident man. He knew that the water-type specialist would. To him, Wallace was best suited for the position if he truthfully had to pick out anyone within the league to withhold the Champion's position.

"Of course. I wouldn't expect for you to take it so willingly. That's why I wanted to tell you now, so that way we may work on preparing for that battle." If the last one they had was that intense, he couldn't fathom the intensity with battling to their fullest extent. Their pokemon, both teams, would have to be prepared properly in order to ready themselves for an intense battle.

Steven wasn't going to go easy on his friend either. If they both battle, they both will not let up or slacken. This was going to be a long, drawn-out battle, he could feel it. 

Then again, this decision was made on so suddenly. Which Steven was fine with. He had to be fine with it. 

"This is important, Wallace. It matters not what the outcome brings when it happens. In the end, it's fate, and I want you to make sure that you and your pokemon are willing to give it your best shot and give my team your everything." Brushing off the concern, Steven glances at his friend. There was no more hesitance in his eyes, even though if the emotion in them was somewhat unreadable.

"The only way I will deny it to you is if you feel like you can't do it. That is not the case, however, is it Wallace? Do you believe in yourself and have the will to take it from me when our battle takes place?"

Wallace:

He couldn't tell what his friend was feeling, and, to an extent, that worried him. He prided himself on being able to read those close to him. He would simply have to trust Steven would let him know if there was something wrong... 

The look of concern from the Water Specialist softened, before returning to a the standard small smile of his. This was not the time to worry about that stuff. He had something to plan for. For now, he should focus on his preparations. Steven would not spare any of his strength, and it would take everything Wallace had to overcome him.

It seemed Steven matched that resolve.

"No, that isn't the case." He looks back to Steven, much more confident judging from his change in posture. "We will give you the show of a lifetime, Steven. I hope you will be ready for us." 

"Is there anything else you wish to discuss, Steven?" He asked after a moment, waiting to see if there is any more that needed to be planned out for the week.

Steven:

Is there anything else you wish to discuss, Steven? 

The silver Champion merely glances at Wallace, his body motionless and eyes diverting back to the window where the great oceans rise and rolled against one another in a locking battle. 

It hurt not to tell Wallace about how he felt. The way he had presented this meeting was meant to give him some sort of closure, but instead he felt a sense of dread. An attachment. 

I can't let go... I don't want to, but I can't hold on any longer. The image of his father flashed through his mind, the company soon to follow.

To be so far away from everyone, in a sense, left him with an empty feeling inside. Deep inside he knew that the end result will add tension to their friendship. It's something he can't avoid, just like everything else that fell on him. 

I don't want to lose a friend... Or my friends, or my passion, or... Everything. This is the only way though... For Hoenn. 

"No, that is all. Our battle schedule will be lined up in a month from now. I'll remind you here and there but be sure to surprise me, Wallace. It will be a battle we will never forget."

[shadlad24]

More Funny Little Moments #3: Season 2, Episodes 1-11

Finally. Finally, it. Is. FINISHED! YAAAAAY!!! Like last time, this MFLM will only include one to two additional funny moments per episode.

2.1: Orphan of War 

This half of the season at least is SO reliant on characters being dumb! At least Xena gets to sass Gabrielle for once in my posts? heh

2.2: Remember Nothing 

Perhaps remembering what dude did to her drumstick, Gabrielle thinks…

Ooh! The realization behind the following collage was actually pretty good! What an endearing/intriguing little reversal, eh?

2.3: The Giant Killer 

Hee! My beloved goof. The only reason I left this unnecessary, dramatic stunt out in the main post is because the second of the FFLM points came a beat later. heh

It really must be asked: GabbyWabs, are you blind? How could you watch this chick take a running leap into David’s arms like that, then stand with him in such a way, and not realize that they were romantically joined? LOLz Sorry, kid.

2.4: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun 

This bit was more of a “Wut?” on my part. Did Xena’s killing Bacchus and reversing his curse somehow kill Orpheus too? No? But dude’s wifey-poo be dead. How can they be together if he’s still—well, whatever gods/immortals do that approximates being—alive?*

2.5: Return of Callisto 

Okay, this note probably needs a bit of prefacing. As you may know, I don’t see Xena or even GXe’s relationship as most other fans do. Given how domineering and protective yet dismissive Xena was toward Gabrielle in the beginning, I was seriously like, “Does Xena think she’s Gabrielle’s dad? I think she thinks she’s Gabrielle's dad…” 😆 Especially here…

2.6: Warrior…Princess…Tramp 

Joxer is truly something else. Rather than finding his latest tale amusing in any way, I found it …eerie. First, he seemingly casts himself in the role of Perdicas; then he turns into Callisto. Then he is faced with Gabrielle, his friend (whom he apparently sees as a little girl to the point of being his surrogate daughter^) who just days ago lost Perdicas to Callisto. He laughs off his grotesque retelling, in her face. But that’s okay. She chuckles too. Again, despite being just DAYS off of losing her lifelong friend and puppy-love. And no, Joxer didn’t see Perdicas die, but he obviously heard what happened, and, and was inches behind Gabrielle when she professed her grief-crazed desire to kill Callisto herself! Well, GJ soon play the moment off as if he’s describing their first interaction with Callisto, but still …Can we just say yikes here? It’s so terrible it’s almost funny…

2.7: Intimate Stranger 

Ahem. Next up we have another instance of really stupid decision-making on one character’s part and yet another glaring example of unobservant-ness from a second character, once more Gabrielle. Callisto does not know how to whisper. She also doesn’t know how not broadcast her plan to the masses nor stop mugging even at inopportune times. But that’s alright. Gabrielle’s hearing range does not extend beyond a four-foot radius, I guess. Same for her vision? Even if she can’t hear what Callisto’s saying, can she not see “Xena’s” face? Read her lips? Notice “the warrior princess” turning the dagger around, shoving it under her own chin, and then holding it there, all the while psycho-grinning at her worst enemy and recent peace-stealer? No? …LOL? 🥲

2.8: Ten Little Warlords 

Ahem, part 2. I’ll just let Xena take over here.

2.9: A Solstice Carol 

For crying out loud! So, dumb-butt Lynal really, truly thought Xena’s chakram was not just an accessory, but an ornament? Makes sense. I know I always go around with my Christmas-tree-topper star hanging on my hip during Christmastime. Particularly when I’m out and about in a decidedly extremely anti-Christmas town. You know, for the funsies. …But, like, even if we excuse the boy’s idiocy like we had to previously^, why did the chakram go along with it? The round-killing thing sliced Xena’s hand when she thought it was a toy. So why didn’t it cut the kid while he was demeaning it with those bows and all? What the? The chakram knows things, okay? Unacceptable, chakram! LOL!

Quick bit surrounding an odd line:

2.10: The Xena Scrolls 

We can’t go a MFLM without mentioning Hope, right? Never! ’Tis tradition to give her a shoutout in these things now! Thus, Xena and I are on the same wavelength again because I said so. ...Dahak did steal Gabrielle’s innocence, goodness, peace, etc., and Gabrielle did abandon them both, after all. Huh! Wouldn’t that be something if Janice really was Hope reincarnated? Perhaps even the cover of a resurrected, immortal Hope? Heh/D’aw/Oh my!

2.11: Here She Comes… Miss Amphipolis 

We finish with a small, albeit obvious chuckle. How did the ladies know their ranking? It comes across as if they both knew beforehand and didn’t. Salmoneus at least seemed certain they didn’t, hence his early banter with Xena. And how great would it have been if he interrupted at least once and was like, “Uh, that’s great, Miss ____, but you aren’t who I was about to call”? heheheheh

.

Welp, that’s that. At last! Yeyeyeyeyeyey!

Here go the…

Season 1 FFLMs (2's are^): #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21 #22 #23 #24 + MFLMs: #1 #2

and

Episodic Ficlets: #1 #1 (Truncated) #2 #3 #4 #4 (Alternate) #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21 #22 #23 #24 + Google Doc

Also-also, this is my 299th post, completed almost a week after my 21st mensiversary (fully updated master post). What should I do for my big 300th post? Please send in some ideas ASAP! Thanks, all!

*No, but really. Orpheus must be dead right? If Eurydice passed so long ago, and her widow was still all bitter about it until minutes ago, that heavily implies that he and she were separated all that time. Now they’re together again? …How? Why? Ooh! Totally-aside-also, but did Eve need to exist since Xena was already killing gods years before the girl was ever conceived? Hmm…

[fncreature]

Squid Game MC Event thoughts (I was watching Cubs POV and I wrote these on my notes app while watching, at the end I switched to PhoenixSC then Wallibear for a raid sorry for cuss words)

Squid game thoughts

Before games

-Why isn’t Grian streaming -Why aren’t most people streaming -How did PhoenixSC make something actually not that cursed -Grian saying calamari games lol

Red light green light (game 1)

-Grains freaking me out -MOVE -MOVE FRICKING MOVE -oh god be careful cub -JUST SAW ANTVENOM AT THE FINISH LINE THANK GOD -who’s the brown Wallibear -IS THAT TIMEDEO

In between

-Wait im_a_squid_kid is streaming this holy crap

Game 2    (Game 1 redo)

-So frickin scared -Be careful grian -MY FRIXKING HEART BE CAREFUL -the gunshot sounds -Cubs safe -Be careful g I swear to fuckin god -Beef made it -G MADE IT -Ely made it I rhink -Wallibear made it

Inbetween

-107?? Out of 200??

Game 3 (tug of war)

-Please stay on the same team cub and g -Joe and cub are together -WHO HAS A POPBOB SKIN -Deo survived to here -MY EARS -OH NO MY EARS THEYRE BROKEN -PLEASE WIN!!! -*brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* -I see joe -Winning let’s go blue -They won pog

Inbetween

-Omg they lost only 11 ppl lol -Is that ijevin -Captainsparklez is alive i think -WHO DIED THO -are they just gonna move on -Can’t believe the servers holding up -Poor ppl tho

Game 4 (hide and seek)

-Good luck g -Please win g sorry cub -Even if I’m watching cub I want g to win -Wait what if they watched the stream Only 1 left -G won yay!!!

Game five (glass parkour)

-Fuck be careful -Go g go -Wait why did Phoenix say no not yet -THE GLASS BREAKS??? -Duck be careful -Stop punch -Cub were trusting you -Oh god my heart -Thank god -Go g go I swear -My heart -MY FUCKING HEART -That sound lol -Like ohhoh -Oh ten mins thank god take your time -Kay go Grian go -Go already -Be careful you have time -Be brave I swear -BE CAREFUL NO SWEATY HANDS G -time??? -Grian you got this -Five mins now -JOES ALIVE??? -That one dude bouncing lol -Three mins -GET AWAY FROM THE EDGE -MOVE -joes good at this -Two mins -No sweaty hands g I swear be careful -It’s not just a game -No don’t listen -WHOOO HE WON

Feast

-Wait they only know G??? Oh god -WAIT TIMEDEO SURVIVED -If Timedeo wins I’ll be shook -Wait Wallibear is alive holy cow -Gong is pog -So scared rn -WAIT STRAGHT UP PVP -oh god no be careful

Game 6

-Oh god no -*eliza voice* stay aliveeeee -WHO HAS A SWORD -KILL THEM ALL G -Someone has a bow??? -Oh be careful -Legends always hide -*billie Elish voice* I’m scaaaAaared -RUN -FUCKING RUN -DONT TEAM ON MY BOY -WALLIBEAR WHY -who’s left one and a half??? -Protec him -Don’t kill him I swear to god protec grian -Frocking hide please survive -GRIAN DOESNT KNOW WHAT LUNAR IS -GRIAN ITS A PVP CLIENT -Be careful ok g -Five ppl left -Fight but save my boy -Don’t risk it man -Stay safe man -Dude behind the tree is smart -Who’s ur friend g -I think his name is chilbee -Phoenix help him I swear -They’re gonna shrink the map!!!! -I’m so scared g -Give him a weapon -Give him food!! Notch apple to Grian -GOOD JOB AT MURDER MY MAN -MAN IS COMIN BE CAREFUL -YESSSS GO -chill there -Be careful I swear -Dreamslayer let’s go man -Someone’s checking -NOOOOOOOO -RIP THO -GG tho -Rip 😭 -Top five? -xNestorios alive pog -Wallibear is alive pog -Go Wallibear -Wait no -GG NESTORIO -BRO CANNOT BELIEVE THAt -Nestorio gg -Nice job everyone

Aftermath

-Wait what now -But gg Nestorio -Wait was it practice -Gj everyone -Congrats Nestorio -Fun to watch, hope they make another, 10/10 -Bye -Fun -Love that thanks Phoenix -WAIT XNESTORIO WON MCC RISING TOO?????? -MANS POG DUDE HOLY HECK HES GOOD -Oh man -Wait how did loverfella do -Ok so what now -BADBOYHALOS IN PHOENIXSCS CHAT HOLY FRICK -IS THAT QUIFF -ANTVENOM -Man -Wait pigical -Wait I see this bedwars youtuber I used to watch but I forgot -GG NESTER -WALLIBEAR RAID TIME -I can’t download much sad -Don’t care lol -Oh bedwars -WALLIBEAR GOT SECOND???????? -WALLIBEAR POG -Man I should post this- Wallis camera went out -Aaaand it’s back -I’m done bro -Ive never actually watched the Netflix series

[iredreamer]

I'm back! Okay so 1. I'm really sad that Gentleman Jack is over and I'm waiting for Female Fortune to come and I just bought Presenting the Past, but now I'm distraught at the fact that little Ann Walker had a diary that is lost. Like, could you imagine listening to her gush about Anne Lister after their first meeting. So I'm sad. Also, opinion, do you think it was lost or do you think her family destroyed it? It'd be interesting to see if it was stuck in the walls of Cliffe Hill.

Oh god, I am too really sad that GJ is over! the wait is gonna be excruciating I already cant. And yes can you believe Ann Walker had a fucking diary and we could have known her thoughts about Anne first hand by now??? I’m pissed it got lost. I also wanna know more about this, like, how do we know she had a diary in the first place? (even tho I guess it was pretty common to have a diary back then) it got really lost or her family made it disappear? like, how did this whole thing go? when did she start this diary? all questions that’ll remain without an answer I guess… :(

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright. part two, here we go

-

“she’s safe”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”

the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary 

-

...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??

-

ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute

-

ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???

-

“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”

well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.

-

“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”

no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.

-

“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”

>foreboding 

-

[sighs deeply]

guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.

-

“No time to explain”

ggghhghghhghghgh

-

...oh. there’s edgeworth

...............now watch him be completely fucking useless

-

.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME

PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??

-

oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.

whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.

-

Edgeworth...

A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy

B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.

C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?

-

oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\

-

Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

-

oh. this is a really nice garden.

the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho

-

o hai rayfa

-

um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal

-

Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred 

-

UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN

cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”. 

-

“what about those guards over there”

“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”

-

yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude. 

-

UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON

god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.

-

BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO

-

man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???

-

“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”

hey apollo wanna hear a secret

i dont 

-

Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.

Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me

-

i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil 

also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh

-

Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt

The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey

-

wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!

-

ohhh yesss listen to those punches

why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;

-

phew. im glad Maya’s ok. 

-

yeesh... poor Rayfa.

-

i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”

its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov. 

-

um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.

-

“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”

nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

-

“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”

ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.

fuck man i’d even take Klema over this 

-

can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix  Edgeworth/Athena instead

i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.

-

again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty

too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it

-

...a tasty... hash house

i

oh apollo’s up for that

well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit

-

yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO

SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP

-

god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh

-

apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues

oh well. to each their own.

-

>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo 

-

“you ran?! but why?!!”

oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????

-

hang the fuck on

are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!

Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE

-

that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it 

-

oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................

just as fucking pleasant as ever

-

i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”

like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard 

i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.

“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”

-

“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”

yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say

-

oh well that was abrupt 

meh, onwards to the tomb

-

“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”

oh so you mean Ami Fey.

-

oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog 

-

“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”

Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!

“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”

...nuts. 

-

wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know

you met Dhurke like once a day ago 

-

aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?

-

 alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something 

-

i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping 

“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”

-

casually opens a tomb

casually opens the sarcophagus hangings  

casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside

apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.

-

...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we 

-

i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames. 

ooh i like that last one though

-

pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line

-

“Where’d the other three bullets go?”

“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”

if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation 

-

“the poor guy”

EMA

HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE

-

“the cuffs of justice”

love it

-

“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”

“like rolling up your sleeves?”

“or your psychology, if we’re going there” HE FUCKING WENT THERE

OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO

-

“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”

are we going into grape juice lore here

"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”

Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.

Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.

Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.

(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)

-

hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.

-

Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!

Well probably not in that time, babe

i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice. 

-

again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads

the devil horns are a bit much, though.

-

oh damn.

thats a nice ass pendant 

...oh thats blood

well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear

-

“speak of the devil...”

speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.

-

oh ok he didnt say anything 

also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”

and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.

-

“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth 

-

“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”

ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts

-

“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”

helpful, athena

-

“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”

oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad? 

-

oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened 

is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...

...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.

But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.

So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you? 

-

“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”

SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.

-

“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”

Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.

-

“I won against Mr. Wright”

yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.

-

“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”

you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.

-

>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery

>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness

>Franziska’s catchphrase

>Blackquill’s backstory twist

These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING 

THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!

-

apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.

-

welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?

good god, i hope so.

till next time.

[ilygsd]

ok so the question is if im gonna open nyself up to him and tell him i had like 25262 anxiety attacks these 2 last days or if i should just ignore it and pretend that im super cool and all is fine and what r u talking abt??? i wasnt freaked out at all? i was just chilling all day lmaooo

he will see through me wont he..... but if i dont tell him then maybe he thinks im getting better at u know holding stuff in i mean HE DOESNT CARE ANYWAYS IM OBVIOUSLY DOING IT FOR HIM

i am the list pathetic human being in this world. anyone wants to know for how long ive known this guy? HAHAHAHAHA BITCH IVE GROWN EMOTIOKALLY DEPENDANT ON GUYS I HAVENT EVEN MET that was wilde and i would rather not talk abt that fuck brain stfu sont bring up him

anYwAySs i feel better cus he replied

im just gonna pray i wont get emo and anxious when i get to him

i hate that he thinks everything i do is manipulative. he says he doesnt think i do it on purpose...... does that mean i actually AM manipulative? NO ITS JUST HOW IM FEELING I CANT STAND BEING AVABDONED AND OFC ILL DO ANYTHING I CAN ILL BEG ON MY KNEES OR SET THEM ON FIRE IF I HAVE TO i-is t-that..... m-m-manipulat-tive....

god i cant believe he basically said he cant be with me unless i learn to love myself BUTTT it has to be ”on my conditions” do that means i cant love myself to make him stay it means i’ll have to ACTUALLY try and love myself LMAOOO

and ghat will absolutely not happen and this ugly masternind will see through my lies (hes a bit too paranoid tho like he thinks im lying even when i tell the truth ugh) even if i pretend to love myself i mean i cant have these vreakdowns if i love myself right and i will most certainly have these breakdowns and then i absolutely CAN NOT LET HIM KNOWWW BUT I HAVE ZERO IMPULSE CONTROL SO HE WILL KNOW ABYWAYS

oh god he will leave me anyways

but you know what..... thats cool bc we’re gonna stop dating soon anyways

im obviously too unstable he thinks im too immature

also him and his weird ass goals, he even told me he wants to bleach his teeth bc ”im gonna be a poltician, all piliricsn has white shiny teeth” his teeth are already white?? wth

i hate when he does that it creeps the fuck out of me like when he showed up in a nice suit and im like oooh nice feeling fancy today ;)))) and hes like ”no im just making myself comfortable if im gonna be a serious and respect politicsn/psychologist i have to dress like one”

when he threatened to murder me TWICEEEE but then goes like ”i wouldnt actually murder you, that would ruin my future career” OH THANKS SO MUCH YOU EDGY BITCH

so yeah sooner or later he will dump me. also his expectations of sex...... also he literally dont seem to bond at all wheb having sex its like in and out and then maybe some cuddle if he’ nice

ok in exaggerating sex is actually nice with him at least last time but maybe im just thinkin that visnum attracted to him. its like the other way around for us. i told him LOVE is whats behind my sex. i said ofc sexual attraction too but i could probably find some ugly dude attractive if i LOVED them. not gj my ex though ghats sad bc i certainly do love them.... ugh anyways he was low key offended he was like ”if u think in ugly but just love me i’ll cut you” I WAS IFFENDED LIKE EXCUSE ME YOURE THE ONE WHO SEES OUR RELATIONSHIP AS A FUCKING WHORE CONTRACT and hes likes ”yeah”

and thats where i lost my shit :———)

BUT ITS COOL I NEED TO VE ALONE ABD IBDEPENDANT ANYWAYS JUST DONT GO BACK TO YOUR EX THAT WOULD BE SO SHOTTY OF ME I NEED TO SUFFER ALONE ABD GET THINGS DONE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ALSO NEED TO PRACTICE ABD HES SO GOOD AT PRACTICING REALTIONSHUPS IWTH BC HE DOEST CARE OR GET HURT LMAO only angry and i guess thats his way of ”getting hurt” ugh

i dont need him. hes still a dumb fkn centrist, making racist jokes right in front of my face sometimes he REALLY MADE AN ADOPTION-NO-ONE-LOVED-YOU JOKE IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING FACE WHEN I OPENED UP AVOUT MY ADOPTION THE VERY ISSUE AND REASON I AM LIKE THIS

i actually cant believe he did ghat, i didnt even realise he did until he apologized and made sure ”it was just a stupid joke” and even then i didnt register it. idk he’s dumb as shit its so fkn weird how much i let him hurt my feelings bc if it was someone else i’d fuxk them in the asshole but im just here letting him fuck me over bc i blame it on is aspd bug actually its just an excuse bc..... bc...... bc..... i dont want him to leave OH FUCK IT REALLY IS LIKE THAT RIGHT I REALLY AL STUCK ON HIM GREAT

whatever you do dont fkn devalue him. omg omg u dont eant it to end like with your ex bff who made u depressed and suicidal and now u will live the rest of your life in INTENSE SHAMEEEE bc of how u treated her and reacted to her leaving you DONT ACT LIKE THAT WHEN HE LEAVES YOU DINT

i probably wont. i wouldnt dare to. i thought i could manipulate my ex bff by scaring and threatening her but i couldnt abd i KNOW i wont ve able to with him. i’ll probably just fall into self-hatered self pity and despair abd maybe secretely stalk his social media but i wouldnt dare to do anything

ugagahIbwlsbslsksvdjsnsksbs my bRaINnNn

[bwicblog]

AA: spoilern alernt, flarnping in the rnain fucking S U C K S.

AA: got mud all the way up to my goddamn flaps.

AA: n, p surne I've got mud I N them, ugh.

ID: clearly you need me to show you how it's done. =:P

AA: lmao, y, mb when yrn off bedrnest, dude. >:}

AA: I'm playing forn bodies, but that doesn't mean I want Y R N S.

ID: psh not wanting my hot bod, i'm crushed. =:'(

ID: tho i get what you mean, the mud is the fucking worst.

AA: lmaoooo. soz, soz. am I supposed to say yrn hella hot now to soothe yrn poorn ego?

ID: obvs. =:P

ID: my ego has been brushed enough at this fair! =>:(

ID: ...bruised.

AA: too late.

ID: =>:I i'm working with one hand here, i demand a break.

AA: it's been brnushed and now you gotta polish it, orn shit'll just look fucking tacky.

AA: lmaoooo.

AA: I offerned you a wornm, dude.

AA: you C Ö U L D be, wtf did prni say AA: 8/10 hot A N D w two frnonds, but n, you gotta go and get squicked on me. >:P

ID: i think i lost enough blood without feeding it to a worm too.

AA: blood comes back, suck it uppp.

AA HAS ATTACHED lolheded.jpeg! It is a troll trying to wrench his leg out of a bog. AA: lmaoooo, evernyone sucks at this sO harnd. AA: wtf you up to?

AA: feeling bettern yet?

ID: i mean. define better. i'm not feeling like i'm about to die.

ID: i'm on my way to pheres' cart for some bandaging and a shirt. and pay.

AA: k, good. >:} AA: make him buy you food too!!

AA: when's the last time you ate??

ID: uhhh.

ID: the pizza night?

AA: soz forn ditching, btw, totes was like.. not thinking abt

AA:

AA: lmfao, what the fuuuuuck.

AA: congrnats, yrn a trnashcan firne, brnah.

AA: y, make him feed you.

ID: at least i'm not a fucking mud monster. =:P

ID: i mean i'm preparing myself for a whole lot of fussing, don't worry. he's already trying to talk me in to getting a room.

AA HAS ATTACHED godkingmudmonstertoyou.jpeg!

ID: did you fucking roll in the mud?

ID: you oinkbeast.

AA: he is a fussy fangs. >:P AA: and y! well, n. Ï HID in the mud and then jumped out.

AA: tactics, mothernfuckern.

ID: okay godking oinkbeast. =:P

SS: (Wtf, Hads, I thought you were food acquisition extraordinaire. (\ene/) You tellin me a temp -3 to CHA courtesy a lookin like you already been culled's enough to stop you??) SS: (Ain't you supposed to, like, work that ish for pity?)

ID: uh actually i think looking like i do makes peeps want to help me more.

AA: y, y, that's the joke, gj.

AA: >:P

ID: i was just feeling like garbage too much to take advantage.

ID: =>:P

ID: let a one-handed guy finish sips.

ID: you're just all too fast for me. =:P

AA: lmaoo. well, I can manage arnd stabbing folks, so I think you oughta manage just fine. >:P

ID: well if you finish up soonish, hit me up around pheres'. probably take him a while to patch me up. especially if i can get him to get the fucking stitches out.

AA: mm, mb, mb!! will drnop by, at least. >:} AA: laaal. you wanna come with??

ID: well now you gotta, or else my pumper will get all crushed. =:P

AA: yrn pushern is so frnagile, omggg. >:}

ID: it's been through a lot okay. =:'(

AA: y, y, will come. AA: you taking a whale back orn staying up herne, btw??

ID: haven't decided yet. still got time. depends how much i've healed too.

ID: rather not be in this huge-ass city all busted up.

AA: y, well, come rnide W me and lal. it'll be fuuuuuun.

AA: and i totes will just keep my phone on voice2text. >:} since he whined abt it so much last time.

ID: got my lusus to worry about remember. =:P

AA: oh, lame. laaaaame. AA: .. I can drnive supern fucking slow. >:P

ID: sorry we can't all have easily portable lusii. =:P maybe! i don't want to slow you and lal down if you both need to be back or whatever.

AA: naaah. mb?? AA: .. eh, if you can't rnide w us, you should totes rnide w prni. trnavelling is, like, waaaaay morne fun w ppl. AA: also, you'll, like, look less like cullbait, js. >:}

ID: fucking rude. =:P

ID: pri is a ways away in the wrong direction i think. idk. we'll see!

SS: (Wait, where am I gettin wigglernapped to?)

SS: (Soz, missed some ish through Sipa's unique and charmin quirk accent. (\ eue/) )

SS: (Aka dropped my palm husk in a hay pile.)

AA: dude, when they say a quick rnoll in the hay, it's not supposed to be lits. js. >:} AA:and we'rne gonna go watch hads get bits rnipped out by phern.

AA: it'll be fuuuuuun.

ID: if he doesn't do it you will, right sips? =:P

ID: stitches don't agree with my fragile lil bod.

SS: (Define 'bits,' omfg - I'm delicate, my constitution can't handle straight up guro ish and the bleatbeast!) SS: (Guro or furry ish, pls limit to one.)

AA: n, dude, half the fun is seeing you go grneen when you find out.

ID: just no barfing on me lal.

AA: bc spoilern alernt, yrn totes going grneen.

SS: (No reverse vore, got it.) (\unu/) )

SA: laledy, I believe in you. You were okay for the fight weren't you?

SS: (And shit, pal, here I thought I was gonna go violet!)

SS: (Give or take a stab wound!)

SS: (Nah, I totes swooned! Didn't you see 'em valiantly carry the greenblood away? That was totes me.)

AA: n, n, that only happens when you stay in the trnap forn morne than fourn hourns, soz.

SA: wasn't Hadean in the bathtub for several hours over four when we first met.

SA: I don't remember.

ID: was that when we first met? i did spend a lot of time in a tub.

SA: swooned... laledy, you should get a costume. Maybe you will have fun with Sipara and the others acting

SS: (N, def me! Like we totes said, I'm going violet!)

ID: no gills. =:'(

SA: it's a scientific fact that non seadwellers are softer to the touch anyways

SA: so it's for the best

SA: no scales

AA: oh my god, y. AA: pls get a costume. frnom phern.

SA: 😄

AA: it'll be grn8. >:}

AA: and eyy, you and hads can M A T C H.

SA: please don't put laledy in a stripper outfit. I think they at least deserve better than that.

SS: (Shit, pal, I'm down to be a booth babe.)

SS: (Y, SA's got it right! Gimme the hooker outfit like I deserve. (\unu/) )

ID: i will forever be the booth babe master, let's be real.

SA: I-- oh, well, if that's what you really want. 😮

AA: hads, my dude, you can't just say that.

AA: you gotta C'O M P E T E.

ID: fite me lal.

AA: lmao. >:} y, exactly.

SA: what if others want to compete

SA: a booth babe tournament

SA: Sipara, go

SS: (I nominate Sipa to be my champion.)

AA: n, no one else is prnetty enough, soz. AA: and fuck off, it'd be totes unfairn forn M E to compete, dude.

SS: (For fightin, not for babe-ness.)

AA: do you see these abs?? shit's unrneal.

SA: I think im pretty enough 😠

ID: i'll beat all of you any night. anyways, pris! pheres is at the greenblood circle now. so go there and not the maroon circle or where ever he was before. i'm gonna get walking. and i want my eyes free to watch anyone who wants to mess with me.

SA: Sipara wins on abs alone

SS: (Shit, wait, can we have Pheres judge? He's, like, got a thing for green, right?)

SA: I will.

AA: soz, prni, you totes ain't. yrn, like, qt.

SS: (Sipa wins on accounta I'm p sure she can, like, pick me up with one frond and I'm p sure I'm too intimidated to fight that ish.)

AA: like a barnkbeast.

SA: but I wanted to be handsome

AA: totes diff genrne.

SA: but will you fight her in a contest of looks laledy

SA: that's the most important part

AA: ... idk abt one frnond, but now we'rne totes gonna have to see. >:}

SA: oh. Now you've done it 🙃

SS: (Omfg.)

SS: (I demand a one-fronded Sipa carriage to tote me around.)

SS: (And, SA, think of it this way: if you're up an competin with someone on, like, any front.)

SS: (And they can up and do that.)

SS: (D'you really wanna challenge 'em?)

SA: perhaps at a safe distance, with a required boundary line.

SS: (Zactly!)

SA: but I also weigh little enough anyone could pick me up. I am sure Sipara could lift you and I together

SS: (You hear that, Sipa??)

AA: boundarny lines arne forn cheaters and cowa

SS: (He's totes sure!!)

AA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

SS: (Are you gonna let him down??)

AA: now we gotta fucking do it. way2babully, prni, jfc.

SA: what is... babully..

AA: ugghhh

AA: I've got some chucklehead trnying to fucking get back up. brnb, brnb. lal, you explain!!SA: be careful Sipara

SS: (Well, you see.)

SS: (When a troll and her ability to talk proper-like love each other v v much, they hook up!)

SS: (But trolls ain't made for datin abstract concepts, so it inevitably goes real sideways-like, and results in ish like trolls decidin they ain't never gonna have ish to do with talkin proper-like again.)

SS: (And that's why Sipara doesn't know how to talk right.)SA: but... what does babully mean

SA: I understand Sipara may have a strange quirk and not speak with perfect grammar or syntax

SA: so is your relationship with the abstract concept of language doing alright?AA: is that also why i'm gonna say you should go pail yrn lusus?? yrn the wornst, omfg. and stfu, prni, you know my quirnk is  G RN8. >:P

SA: :thinking:

SA: :laughing:

AA: it's a bb bully, duuuh.

SA: oh

SA: I'm a good person, I'm not a bully

SA: :lying_face:

AA: that's a box 2 me, brnah, dd.

SA: oh...

SA: I tried

AA: omggg, don't go all glum.

AA: yrn so a bully. bc you darned me and ppl gotta take darnes.  >:}

SA: it was an emoji that was saying j was lying

SA: you could also say no and tell me to hush

SA: another option

AA: LMAO WHAT

AA: omfg, yrn trneachernous. >:'{

SA: :hugging:

SA: now let me hug you with my traitorous hands

SA: I promise nothing bad will happen

SA: this is a joke

SS: (That's, like, the least ominous ish I've heard tonigh twixt the bleatbeast ish and the stitch-pulling, negl.)

AA: oh my god, yrn nevern getting a hug again, jsyk.

SA: I will ask Hadean for one

SA: :cry:

SA: since you won't share hugs

SS: (Sipa, quick, go hide Hads. (\qnq/) )

SA: does that mean I win, laledy?

SS: (Depends, pal, if you win does that mean you ain't gonna go all Bewear on me??)

SS: (Cos I ain't a man of pride, pal, I'm down to forfeit for, like, my life. (\unu/) )

SA: oh I wouldn't do that anyways.

SA: :smiley:

SA: you are all safe with me

SS: (I totes believe you. (\qnq/) )

SA: I'm glad

SA: I must rest now. I will see you later laledy

SS: (See ya laters! (\eue/) )