#(( DO NOT JUDGE ON QUALITY I MADE THIS AS FAST AS POSSIBLE

[royalreef]

@biteyourcrush @spkyscry

[wander-wren]

sometimes i wonder about what fandom is going to look like in 5 or 10 years. i think we might have already started to see a shift.

because, look, most of the oldest, biggest fandoms are from tv shows and movies, in particular ones that go on for years and scores of episodes. star trek, star wars, stargate (is everything star?), doctor who, supernatural…even sherlock really got its biggest popularity boosts in the modern day from tv adaptations. marvel and dc were comics first, too, but movies made them more accessible; their “cinematic universe” tags are the biggest on ao3 by far.

but what tv shows are we getting now? short, 8-episode things that get canceled two or three seasons in, that are usually less-than-faithful adaptations of other media anyway.

what movies are we getting? well, marvel turns more to slop every day, and everything else is remakes and sequels no one asked for. the general populace will still go see them and find some good movies that they like, but there’s not much really for fandom to grasp onto.

the best shows for fandom that we’ve had recently, that i can think of, are stranger things, game of thrones, and maybe our flag means death. stranger things is dying off, especially since they’re looking at a 3-4 YEAR gap between s4 and s5. game of thrones’s popularity plummeted after its final season, we all know that. our flag means death is still chugging fairly okay, but after that second season a lot of the fandom dropped it, and with it now being cancelled, i don’t see it sticking around.

yes, we can chalk part of this up to a new generation to of fans having this growing idea that fandom is super temporary, to be abandoned as soon as its not on trend. but media used to be on trend for a whole lot longer than it is now. seasons were longer, we had filler episodes, things were lower quality sometimes but at least they came out on a consistent schedule. i don’t mind if supernatural isn’t an artistic masterpiece, but if i was a stranger things fan waiting until 2026 for the final season, i would be annoyed if it wasn’t damn near perfect. that’s assuming i watched it at all—we’re all so used to not getting endings and moving on, so why would i bother?

i think there are two types of shows doing sort of okay about this. one is procedurals—9-1-1 is a popular one i’ve run into, and it started in 2018, around the beginning of the decline, but it’s managed 7 seasons in those six years, most of them with 18 episodes. the other is, honestly, anime—though we can and SHOULD talk about the terrible working conditions that make the fast turnarounds there possible. look at how big some anime fandoms are.

judging by the relative fandom popularity of other procedural dramas (grey’s anatomy, law & order, criminal minds), i think that’s going to remain sort of niche. fandom likes fantasy and scifi best, and they just don’t tend to have as strong of an overarching arc to dig into. at least, that’s why i wouldn’t watch them. i think there’s also a good chance these will start to die out in the coming years as well.

anime could also die out a little bit. better working conditions would necessitate less/slower content, and it’s true that most of the popular anime fandoms have been around for years, even decades.

so, what, no new, lasting tv show or movie fandoms anymore?

what will the biggest fandoms be in 5-10 years?

podcast fandoms have a shot. the magnus archives is still going strong, and i’ve been seeing a lot about dungeons and daddies. i think we’re kind of almost past the golden age for podcasts, but i am an outsider, so maybe that will change.

book fandoms seem like a kind of obvious choice, but they just don’t get as big without, you guessed it, a movie or show adaptation. and the downsizing has hit them, too—can you think of anything from the last 5 or 10 years that rivals harry potter, percy jackson, warriors, lord of the rings, hunger games, acotar…even game of thrones (asoiaf) again? i can’t. the collapse of the publishing industry is another post entirely.

2020 is really what cemented these changes, though they were starting in the late 2010s, at least. with actual industries shutting down, there was room for indie creators making things alone in their houses to pop up, and people had more time on their hands to try new things out and get into them.

the two things that have really been on the rise since 2020 is rpf and video game fic—often both combined. we’ve got genshin impact, call of duty, minecraft of course being huge, rpf of various youtubers, and k-pop rpf. now, i think rpf is contentious enough that it won’t really become the main fandom, but video game fic…might be it.

even video blogging rpf can often be a blurred enough line that people are more comfortable with it. and the thing is…youtube creators are actually more reliable than mainstream television these days. they need to be, to maintain their platforms. they need to not cancel series and to live up to their own hype as best they can and to not abandon the channel for 3 or 4 years at a time. and again, you can talk about burnout and unrealistic expectations and all of those things, but it’s still true.

maybe i’m completely wrong. maybe in 10 years the film and publishing industries will all sort themselves out and we’ll go back to the status quo. but i think this position fandom is finding itself in is interesting, and i wouldn’t necessarily be surprised if what’s most popular (both in the specific source material sense and the medium/genre sense) is different some time down the road.

[eldritch-spouse]

The time has come again... What do the icons do with a plushie of their darling? Do they dress her up? perhaps put her on display for everyone to see her cuteness? Maybe even a cuddle when their actual darling is being a bit sour? Descriptions and nsfw welcome :) PS: pinnie you've been cranking out new ocs like a factory honestly I'm living for it-

[Hm, is this a fetish I smell? If it is, I'm not judging. I create ocs with the same ease I breathe, which is to say I probably have ten different breeds of brainworms.]

Reader plush Part 2 - Eletric Boogaloo (Icon edition)

Vesper thinks it's absolutely adorable, he doesn't care what it's dressed with, he just likes it. Surprisingly, he doesn't have much of a desire to desecrate the thing sexually, but he will make stupid lewd poses with it just to make you laugh. He'll let the imps hold it, but if they want to "use it", they have to ask you first. You haven't been informed of this, so it's quite bizarre to wake up in the middle of the night to a flustered imp frantically begging to fuck your plush.

Vorticia keeps it safe and sound in the highest shelves of her manor, where no moron can reach and destroy it. She'll order one tailored outfit for it, matching your best clothes, and leave it at that. It's quite hilarious, but the small extensions of herself seem hypnotized by the doll, hissing and snapping to reach it so they can nibble and rub on it. They fight over it, and Vorticia will flick both if they end up damaging her plushie. You absolutely have to pose with it so she can take a picture.

Zizz looks like an unsupervised child in a candy store. His tail has not stopped swatting like a helicopter for minutes on end. He's stuck staring at the thing and purring deep enough to shake the walls. It's his favorite now, he's keeping it on top of every other plush in his pile and he will absolutely hump that thing more often than not. Of course, you're better, but if you really want to get him riled up, cuddle up to it while he fucks you. Never will this demon come faster and harder.

Rinx's initial reaction is very muted, he mentions the plush being adorable and definitely won't let go of it once he's given the thing, but no one would blame you for thinking that he'd just keep it locked somewhere and never touch it again. In fact, one of the first things that runs through his head is to mark it. As soon as he confirms he's alone, Rinx will shamelessly rub his cock on your poor stitched face and drown it in cum. You'll never see that plushie again. For the love of anything remotely holy, find that plushie and wash it.

Kalymir isn't too impressed at first. In fact, he might use it as squeeze toy and make jokes about how it might be tougher than you. Everyone who touches it gets flung into the wall however. Although he's not one to play or love on the thing, he'll show off to it to feel confident. Sometimes he has odd, one-sided conversations with the plush. Anyone who walks in on it, besides you (mock him forever), is possibly decapitated.

Cero scrutinizes the quality heavily, and if he finds a single blemish, he's sending it back to demand complete perfection. Anything else in as insult to the two of you. He would prefer a doll, in all honesty. The thing is kept immaculate, in its own little custom-made case, and the Icon has no desire to manipulate it. Cero's very anal about the position and detail of the plushie, imps have been stabbed for dropping or merely dislodging the makeshift enclosure. That plush might as well be an SCP given how well it's guarded.

Livius is smitten with it. But he's also creepier than he should be. He'll use it as puppet and make it "interact" with you, a hyperbolic version of your traits that might actually be more accurate than you'd like. This will get annoying fast. The grossest thing he'll do is jerk off while gripping the plush close to his chest. He's absolutely going to go above and beyond to replicate your clothes and accessories for it, the mini-Queen is spoiled rotten.

[swap-and-possessions]

Suit Cleaning

Matteo is the man you want when you want to have your bodysuit cleaned. Working from 9-5 at his store at 380 Marlborough Road, he’ll fetch you up real good when you enter his humble abode. 

Matteo doesn’t judge how you look when you enter the door with the bell on it. Whether it was a simple clean and rub or a thorough scrub after getting caked with cum, he’ll just look at you with a smile and ask – “What is it that I can help you with?”

People say Matteo connects with the suit more than their wearers. He knows where to clean and how to do it thoroughly and fast. Matteo treats everybody's bodysuit that enters that door like the finest porcelain. He does his job with proper care and respect. Matteo is careful not to damage or bend something as small as a finger bone. 

Matteo cleans the outside as well as the inside – something suit cleaners don’t usually do. Although, he cleans the outside only if you prefer your suit cleaned while you are still inside. It’s not something a person usually does because suit cleaning can get rough, but Matteo made it comfortably possible. Half of Matteo’s customers do that. They sit on the chair before him and disconnect their motor control of the suit. They’d lay limp on the chair and feel the comfort of Matteo’s hands as their bodysuit gets cleaned. 

For those that don’t want to be inside the suit while it gets cleaned, Matteo has reserved bodysuits where customers can stay while they wait. Like the magazines you’d find in a doctor’s waiting room, the bodysuits were enjoyable at first. After five or six visits, you’d get tired of them and hope he has the latest models from the market. His business is booming, after all. When this idea was laid before him, he just laughed. They aren’t broken, so why bother replacing them? They work fine.

Matteo often joked that one of the suits in his shop’s waiting room looked like him when he was in his prime. While there are bodysuit stores where you can send your DNA sample, and they’ll create a suit of you when you were young, the customers often scoff at his tall tales. It’s not real, or is it? 

Even though ‘suit cleaning’ was a new craft, Matteo is still proud of his craftwork. He hoped to pass his techniques to his 24-year-old son, Aurelio. Only if Aurelio stopped sneaking inside his customer’s suit and wank in the back. Matteo expressed his disappointment several times because Aurelio doesn’t learn despite getting reprimanded several times. 

If you want a skilled bodysuit cleaner, visit Matteo’s at 380 Marlborough road. Every little penny is worth the quality of care he’ll put into your suit. Just don’t bring your bodysuit to Aurelio.

[kwillow]

What traits do the people in theos choosen few have?

Ngl theo definitely seems like he'd be the kind of guy to enjoy quietly spending time with someone where you're both in the same room but doing different things, but like no talking, no contact, just in each other's presence

I'm answering this one a bit out of the context of Amaranthine specifically because it got me thinking about all the various people Theo's gotten close to in all his incarnations as a character over the past too-many years. Not all of these characters are in his "current" story, but the through-line of his desired traits in a "chosen one" are there nonetheless. He's developed a diverse set of friends that don't have too much in common at first blush. But there are a few commonalities!

As established, Theo is extremely paranoid and has been burned by people many times before, which is one of his many barriers to getting close to others. A person often needs to have a quality that makes them feel more "safe" to him in order for him to stop seeing them as a potential enemy. Most often, this trait is "innocence" or "naïveté," or put in another sense, being so stupid Theo can't possibly imagine them trying to betray him. In one AU (Fallout), he developed weird friendships with three people (Jack, Frank and Dwight) because he thought they were all incredibly dumb and utterly clueless and therefore anything kind they did for him was probably genuine. In another roleplay I did with him, he very quickly developed a bond (and very one-sided infatuation) with a blind woman. She literally couldn't judge him on appearances, so he felt less defensive around her.

He tends to feel even more guarded around men compared to women for various reasons (daddy issues, bad school experiences, often more physically threatening to a little guy like him, feeling the primal urge to battle for dominance, so on), so it's theoretically easier for him to become close to women. At least, it's harder for him to start off on the complete wrong foot with a woman than he can with a man, where he takes a look at a random fellow and just decides he's a "bad sort" and cannot be convinced otherwise. That said, he can get close to fellas and he absolutely can learn to loathe a woman, as Hyden and (eventually) Alex could attest.

Hyden gets around the paranoia by being someone who Theo thought was dead for hundreds of years. It's safe to idolize a dead man because he'll never hurt you. Of course, Hyden isn't dead, but Theo already developed his imaginary bond with Hyden-as-historical-figure before he found that out, so Hyden got to fast-track the Theo friendship process.

He also thrives off of being people's protector (which is kind of hard as an asthmatic little person whose main form of exercise is lifting heavy books off the shelf, but he tries). The easiest way to forge a connection with him is to make him happen to stand between you and someone who strikes him as a "bully." Yes, like many men who would dare to say "milady," he is a white knight in pinstriped armor. It is very, VERY hard for him to resist the urge to defend someone he's been made to feel a sense of responsibility for, even if his more cynical side is telling him to just leave someone to their fate. Of course, that's all very noble until he ends up resolutely defending an evil warlock from the people whose lives were destroyed by evil warlock magic.

Theo also isn't someone who really grew up having those things called "friends." He tends to have trouble conceptualizing what a relationship between peers is even supposed to be like. Therefore, he tends to shirk his "equals" and instead is unconsciously more drawn to people he considers either above or below himself in station, intelligence, age etc., as that gives him more of an idea of how he's supposed to behave. He tends to seek out relationships he can imagine to mirror familial bonds (replacement parental figures or "wards") or mythologized dynamics from fantasy novels (handmaidens and feudal lords) because those are the dynamics he's familiar with and feels he can fulfill the duties of, more or less. (That said, he prefers people "below" him in almost every circumstance due to insecurity reasons.) If given enough time, he can ease out of those roles and into a more balanced connection, though.

ALL THAT SAID, none of this is a guarantee. Someone could be a completely innocent, harmless little peasant waif who gets beaten up by burly football players on his doorstop every day and he could still just slam the door and yell at them to stop annoying him with all that racket. In the end, excepting rare impulses of charity, he's a deeply unpleasant and misanthropic man driven by irrational pseudo-logic and unstable moods - you kind of just have to be there at the right time to catch him when his rotten little heart is open.

FINALLY, as for enjoying parallel relaxation as quality time, I'd say that's his "default" mode of enjoying people's company. But he can learn to enjoy more energetic ways of bonding with people (maybe a little too much... he can have some serious thrill-seeking issues if exposure to enough excitement brings them out). As much as he'd insist he could only tolerate another person if they have a taste for opera and quiet reflection, I think he could really get into a monster truck rally if he'd let himself get in the mood for it.

[fuckyeaharthuriana]

The Winter King episode 1

First of all I need to add this small warning premise: I read Bernard Cornwell's novels so far ago, and I have been too in the grasp of my adhd to be able to focus on much, so rereading them would be impossible for me at the moment.

I guess this means I will talk about the show from a "ignorant" perspective, without talking too much about the differences between the novel and the actual show. I will judge it for what it is, ignoring that it is part of an adaptation.

Still, I remember a little, so I can confirm that the show starts the same way. Arthur is a bastard, when his father accuses him of having caused the heir's death, he is exiled, thanks to Merlin's intervention. There is also Arthur's sister (no name yet) who pleaded for mercy. Arthur saves a young Derfel and then we are jumped in a timeskip.

The rest of the episode sees some vague establishing of what "the gods" are and Avalon is. It is not clear at all, just the usual "we follow the GODS" (which gods?? who knows). Derfel is not a young adult, and he is in love with Nimue - who suddenly has to choose between the gods and that guy.

It is all very dramatic, she cannot "deny her past", but given we had known these characters for less than 20 minutes, it all falls flat. The episode RUNS, runs like the wind, trying to introduce all the possible plots around Derfel. I barely had the time to breath and understand what main plot the episode was trying to establish, the truth being that I still don't know.

I fully believe it would have simply been better to start directly with Derfel, sees him as a kid, let us know him in the classic way "past-family-what he went through" and then see Arthur save him, and introduce his conflict between wanting to stay at Avalon and wanting to be a warrior, just like Arthur.

The plot instead rolls and rolls - suddenly Queen Norwenna is in labour, Merlin and Morgana rush to her side - and for some reason they ask Derfel to come for the extra help (what extra help is not clear). Merlin has a horrible vision of the future when he holds the baby. Uther is happy to have a new son, but Merlin warns him that the child has a twisted foot and a twisted nature (?? the need to offer both at the same time... weird, very weird). Merlin says he saw the end of the whole of Britan in this kid, but Uther ignores him and cuddles the baby.

I know we are supposed to root for Merlin, and see that Uther is foolish for accepting this baby and not Arthur, his other son, but the truth is - the baby is a baby. I don't think the tv show convey the danger, or managed to get me on the side of Merlin because that baby is so SMALL? and innocent? And the show is so fast we never had the chance to trust Merlin, to see him struggle or actually care for Britain, we do not know much of what he cares for (the vague gods).

Suddenly - so fast - Merlin leaves for Arthur, and Derfel says he is gonna stay there while Nimue goes to Avalon. Derfel found a job (in the span of a night?? few days??) and decided (after a nightmare/flashback) to want to become a warrior. The sad music almost made me laugh, I have to be honest, while looking at Derfel leave Nimue behind, as the show spends zero attempts in trying to making us invested in their relationship.

Also I cannot really judge actors, I am not that good at catching who is a good actor or not, but I could barely hear what Nimue was saying, she always seemed almost drunk.

Luckily, among all characters, Derfel seemed to have the best actor to be able to do quite a lot with little. He had a boyish naive quality that made me believe he DID find work overnight, and he did decide to become a warrior just because Arthur told him. I will definitely try to continue watching, as I am curious to see how they are going to make this Derfel into the Derfel I vaguely remember form the books.

Other positive comments I have for the show would mainly be about how well it convey the arthurian feelings of a historial novel like Bernard Cornwell's. I cannot speak about how historically accurate the clothes, weapons and buildings are, but for an untrained eye like mine they all did a lot to world-build, to give me the idea of a prosperous kingdom on the verge of wars.

[aether-friskets]

wip questionnaire tag game yay

thanks @ap0stle for tagging me in this!! :D

The WIP im gonna talk about is uh. well it doesnt really have a name i just call it "that game i want to finish eventually" or "the survival horror game idea" lol, I'm bad with names so itll prob remain that way for a while

What's the First Part of Your WIP that You Created?

I can't recall exactly when this was, but I remember I was specifically listening to this video which, judging by its age, would've been around 2 years ago now. Something about the black and red blair witch game art used as the cover (which, i... totally legally... played that game out of curiosity later on, wasnt big on it as a blair witch fan or a horror fan in general, but you will see one little element from it as one of a few inspiration points for whats kind of becoming a major mechanic in my game at this point lol) mixed with the music itself gave me this mental image of someone driving on a road through the woods with that very black and red lighting, and i had this feeling that they were looking for someone. That's technically the very vague basis that sprouted into my game idea, which has changed a lot since then, and now I don't think a scene like that will even happen. Aside from that, my first concept that's actually stuck around, is the protag looking for their sibling (usually my brain leans sister so i may go that route, but i tend to imagine characters w/out gender in mind til later lol) and sorta ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time as a result. I have some more stuff in mind of course, but a lot of stuff is still pretty vague lol

If Your Story Was a TV Show, What Would the Theme Song/Intro Be?

Oh man this is such a fun thing to think about conceptually, I feel like the WIP is almost too much of a WIP to be sure... But it'd probably have to feel very 2000s, maybe have some kind of industrial edge? Something to capture the idea of an ordinary person descending into something they couldn't possibly be prepared for i guess loll Those things aren't necessary, but the setting is mainly going to be in this as yet unnamed city during the mid-late 2000s? I haven't settled on the exact year yet so that may not be fully accurate lol. The game probably will get some kind of intro style thing, because I absolutely LOVE that in the silent hill games (and also twilight princess had something like that!! which is very nostaglic for me lol) so I think it would be awesome to do in mine lol I feel like the closest I've heard to the vibe I imagine are like. 1. Into to The Mine from Lost in Vivo 2. Broken ALSO from Lost in Vivo (i swear something abt the music in this game just has the vibes) 3. Theme Of... by Drackfreeee I guess it makes sense because it's a silent hill inspired song that you can even hear bits from the game's intros in there but. man. it's got a dreamlike quality that fits the more surreal elements i have in mind well, plus i can totally imagine it playing in an intro thing showing a bunch of scenes from the game and setting that scene of descent When i get to that point in making the game, ill probably look back at songs like these for ideas on what'll work

What Are Your Favourite Characters You Made, and Why?

Since this thing is still so much a WIP, I don't have a tonnn figured out about the characters, so it's kinda hard to pick. But I can talk a little about what I DO have figured out! As I said previously, the protag is gonna be looking for their sibling. The basic idea being that they're visiting their sibling in this new city they've never been to before, and things go all wacky sideways real fast. I feel like I'm either gonna love 'em or hate 'em because due to the unintentionally personal nature of this story that I've been embracing more as time went on, they're probably gonna be the most like me out of the cast. I'm hoping to make them an enjoyable protagonist to play as tho, not annoying but not TOO bland or anything. The sibling is probably gonna end up reflecting a lot of my sister, cause, as i said, accidentally personal story that I'm kinda just embracing at this point lol. I wanna not make any of the characters 100% like a single person I know, so I'll probably mix in traits from other people I like lmaooo. but we'll see what they're like by the end. One thing i already DO know is I really wanna circumvent the idea of the person you're trying to find/save being this "damsel in distress" type, so I think it'd be great if when you finally reunite, they're dealing with the whole situation way better than you LMAO. or at least on par. The hardest part about that tho... Is I'll probably have to make a half-decently competent partner NPC for that part of the game... I've also had this idea for a guy based on a dream I had. I think they will be playing a part but I'm not sure yet, as stuff is still very vague at this point. The idea is of someone who is "helping" you for part of the game, only to fuck you over later on because, what can I say, I love the heartbreak of getting totally screwed over by a character you trusted sometimes :3 The idea being you'd make remote contact early on and they'd promise to help lead you to your sibling but in reality either A) they've just been trying to lead you to your death subtly lmaooo or B) more likely option, theyre tricking you into helping them instead, and then will leave you for dead once you actually help them. I feel like it'd be fun to write a guy who is a total opportunist and probably a smug asshole, idk lol There will probably be other characters? but these are the only ones I have in mind so far, and as you can tell, they arent very fleshed out at all yet

What Other Pieces of Media do You Think Your Fanbase Would Share?

Jeez, the idea of garnering any kind of fanbase in and of itself is kind of cool but scary lol I figure they'd probably like a lot of the stuff that's inspiring me in the first place, like Silent Hill (duh), Cry of Fear, Jacob's Ladder, a bit o' Twin Peaks... Basically if you like some guy going through some weird fuckin' psychological shit lmaoo More specifically, i want the vibes of stuff like. standing in a subway station at a weird hour, feeling like the only person left on the planet. Opening a door into a room that shouldn't logically connect. Cryptic phone calls and texts that don't seem like a person would make them. Desperately trying to reach someone, to find the answers, but it seems like the place itself is fighting against you. Stuff like that, I guess

What Has Been Your Biggest Struggle With Your WIP?

Man, what hasn't? I don't have much experience making games so I'm learning a lot mechanically as I go, but I also have never properly finished an entire original story before. I think the main thing, is like... I'm scared whatever I create will feel too derivative of the works that inspired me, that the thing I create will ultimately fade into the shadow of other things that did it better. So every time I have a new idea, I worry about if it'll come off too much like [x thing] and that's been making the process even slower loll Aside from that, I know the character's primary goal, and I have certain locations I think would be cool to include, but I don't know SHIT about any of the details of getting from the start to the end and what will fall in-between, which does make it tricky lol. I need to really consider what kind of path I want them to follow, and what will happen after they reach their goal, stuff like that. It's all just very vague right now and trying to work out the details is almost intimidating even tho thats the main part of making a story.

Are There any Animals in Your Story? Talk About Them!

At the moment? Not that I'm aware of. There may likely be enemies with animal-like appearances, though. I could see that being a thing I do. But I haven't really gotten into monster design just yet.

How do Your Characters Travel/Get Around?

At the moment I'm suspecting primarily on foot, however my concept for the intro of the game involves the protag taking the subway. So there may be some subway shenanigans too, idk.

What Part of Your WIP Are You Working on Right Now?

I'd say the main reason the story is still so vague, is I've been trying to get the main technical/mechanical elements set up before I get too much into the details. Or maybe I'm just stalling. So, I'd say I'm mainly working on stuff surrounding the non-story parts of the game. But in terms of the story, I want to flesh out the protag and the sibling more into proper characters first and foremost, I'd say.

What Aspects (Tropes, Maybe?) do You Think Will Draw Your Audience in?

I'll be real I got no idea but... I guess if I think about it from the perspective of what I think would draw me in from an outside view...

Use of classic survival horror stuff like fixed camera angles (plus I'm going to have both tank and analog controls so more people can enjoy it :])

Putting a guy in A Situation

The general atmosphere and setting (as I sorta said, mid-late 2000s urban enviro with weird illogical stuff happening and potentially kind of dream-like elements, i hesitate to say liminal but maybe a bit liminal? I also want to go for a ps2-ish graphics quality cause i feel like its criminally underrated lol and some people may feel like me on that part and like that)

Vaguely queer protag? like i said i dont have much fleshed out but if they're gonna be based on me at all u KNOW that bitch aint gonna feel cis or straight i'm sorry it's simply fact (also admittedly I've been wanting to make them like some kinda genderqueer or somethin because its my video game and i can do what i want, and seeing human protags that are nonbinary in some way gives me life)

Weird-ass shit??? like if you vibe with weird silent hill dialogue or the weird stuff that just. happens in twin peaks, im hoping to bring a similar energy in my own way

Possibly more stuff as I flesh things out more lol

What Are Your Hopes For Your WIP?

Honestly I just hope I make something that I feel proud of. I wanna make something that makes someone feel the same way that stuff like Silent Hill, Cry of Fear, Lost in Vivo, Twilight Princess, hell, UNDERTALE did, where that shit changes you. Where you can feel the love for the genre or medium it's based upon. But at the very least, I just hope at least one person likes it, I guess That'd be enough for me

Uhhh erm I have no idea who to tag I am so bad at this part.... If you want to do this consider yourself tagged :]

[custardcove]

First Memories

Chapter Five - Easy as Pie

The competition was to be held three days after their discussion. Alice spent that time getting ready, despite her ever-growing sense of dread. Knowing Queenie, they’d be working in front of an audience, she’d make it the biggest deal possible, and Alice would crack under the pressure. But there was no use being paralysed by fear, she’d just have to do her best…

She had looked online and in Pansy’s cookbooks for the easiest to follow recipe of the highest quality. Ultimately, she’d cobbled together a fusion of several methods that she thought would be best. Some said to precook the apples, others said not to, but she’d made her mind up to follow the latter. This meant marinating the peeled and cut apples in sugar and spices for an hour. It seemed like there would be a lot of waiting time between cooking it all … she wished Taylor had shouted out something less time-consuming.

“The kind of apples you use are important too,” Pansy said from behind her, making her jump. “Got word there’ll be a few to choose from tomorrow.”

Alice wiped her hands on her loaned apron, which had otherwise stayed relatively clean. “What would you recommend?”

“Hmm.” Pansy leant on the doorframe to the kitchen, rubbing her chin. “Pink Ladies? No—maybe Braeburn. Somethin’ I can tell what it is might be better; that’s what I usually use—it’s what you got there. I’d want it to be fair, but … Queenie’s not playing fair.”

“Yeah. I’d expect she might try something.” Alice sighed. A half-finished pie crust lay on the counter before her. “Even if I don’t win though, um. Thank you for taking care of me. I don’t know how to repay you, but I’ll try when I—”

“Aw, you don’t need to do that.” Pansy moved closer to clap her on the shoulder.

“I do! I can’t just take living here for granted. Not like with my parents,” Alice joked. It didn’t get much of a reaction, so she continued, “Thank you, though. Really. I’d be dead two or more times without your help.”

Arms crushed her middle as Pansy swept forward, full of sentimentality. “Aww, you big softie!”

“I’m just being honest—I haven’t done anything to deserve—”

“Simply be! You don’t need to ‘deserve’ being rescued, or fed.”

“I suppose, but that doesn’t make you any less kind.”

Once Alice had escaped the pseuman’s iron grasp, she proceeded to cook her trial pie. When it had cooled she cut a slice for Pansy and mashed up some of the cooked apple for Primrose to try.

“Well…” she hovered as Pansy ate. “Is it any good?”

“It’s not bad.” Pansy chewed on her words as she savoured the pie. “I wasn’t expectin’ my socks to get blown off, but it’s cooked fine, and you’ve spiced it enough. I’d only recommend cutting the apples a bit more even-like tomorrow.”

“Right…” Alice gripped onto the apron fabric. At least it wasn’t awful, then.

Pansy helped spoon some of the apple mush into her daughter’s mouth. “See, Prim likes it.”

“Prim can judge tomorrow instead of you, then.”

Laughing, Pansy put the spoon down. “You’ll do fine! Better yet if you taste it yourself, might give you an idea.”

Alice cut herself a slice, sitting at the table with a cloud of gloom. She put a crumb of the pie in her mouth. It needed custard. “So, if I lose…”

“We’ll just have to think of somethin’ else. Find a trinket she’s willing to trade for, maybe? I don’t expect Miss Dragonpants will be a spectacular cook or anything like that. Someone with that much money has staff to cook for ‘em.”

“I guess you’re right.” Alice felt like there was some crucial detail about Queenie that meant this wouldn’t be the case, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Oh well. “What should I be expecting tomorrow? Just so it doesn’t keep me up tonight…”

Pansy hesitated. “They’ve set up a sort of makeshift stage with kitchen appliances on it—it was still being done up when I went, but I was impressed. The only advertisement for it’s been word of mouth, but that travels fast here.” She paused again to take in Alice’s expression, in case her horror was too great. It was a manageable amount. “Taylor’s gonna MC—I’m starting to wonder if he ever goes to work! Apart from me n’ Tech, Queenie chose one of her maids as a judge. But tomorrow I’ll take you there, and all you have to do is cook.”

“Ugh … this better be worth it, then.”

***

In no time at all, the day of the competition was at hand. It was another bright and cheerful spring morning, but Alice trembled as she followed Pansy to Erryton square. They’d been to Pablo’s to drop off Primrose, but the wait only served to make Alice more nervous. She gained a bit of relief on arriving, noticing that the crowd there wasn’t very large, and was mostly scattered around food stalls and makeshift shops. The cooking competition was just an impromptu side-event. The stage, too, wasn’t huge like she’d expected – it was more of a flat platform, barely raised enough to stop people milling over it. Taylor was there, and he beamed at the pair, to which Alice offered a weak smile.

“You ready?” He asked.

“No.”

His eyebrows folded in sympathy. “You’ll do fine. Everyone’s here now, so we’ll start soon. Just stand near your kitchen area—the one on the left—and Pansy,” Taylor shifted his gaze, “You’ll be sitting on that table at the front with the other judges.”

Pansy smiled at Alice, patting her on the shoulder. A lot of people were trying to give her hope today… “Good luck.”

Mid-walk to her seat, Pansy whipped her head toward the kitchen area, pointing an accusatory finger. “Don’t think I don’t see you there, Queenie! You can’t just take Alice’s ingredients and throw the contest.”

Indeed, it seemed the noble had not-so-slyly swiped something from Alice’s setup, caught carrying it away to her station. “Oh, is this Alice’s sugar? My mistake…” She placed it back down on the counter, simpering sweetly.

 Alice frowned. That seemed typical, yes, but was Queenie so careless? Pansy seemed satisfied with this result, however, and doesn’t delay any further. Alice hurried to her cooking station. Everything she needed was here—a selection of labelled apples, flour, an oven and fridge—but there was one thing she was more concerned about. She could hear Taylor speaking to the audience, now, but where was the sugar Queenie had placed? There…

“All right, get ready—”

Alice licked her finger, dipping it in the sugar and tasting it. That wasn’t right, it was—

“—your time starts now!”

Salt.

Time had already started, and Alice looked around frantically to see if she had any actual sugar. To her relief, she still had a whole pot of brown sugar, and her own pot of salt. But Queenie’s sleight of hand had still delayed her start. She got to work, glancing at her hastily scrawled recipe from yesterday evening. Apples first, they had to sit for ages, then dough, which also needed to sit—but before that, preheating the oven. It wasn’t something she ever remembered when cooking for herself, but right now she needed every advantage she could get.

Alice then made the mistake of looking over at Queenie’s workstation. She was midway through peeling her apples and waved cheekily with her knife. Alice fumbled for the Braeburn. She needed a peeler, and the sugar and spices, and . . .

---

||Previous|| - ||Next||

[beceejed]

Curry Connoisseur Sw/Sh runs

I did not know this was a thing! May I propose the Chef Run in SwSh. Go to a route, camp, and cook curry until you get a Curry Conniseur Mark pokemon. That's your encounter for the route. XD

1. Start a new game. Name yourself something punny. I'm Connie Seur. 

2. Go through the tutorial. 2a. Buy the curry shirt at the Wedghurst shop. 2b. Buy like 70 berries of one kind from the berry merchant. 2c. Get to the Wild Area and shake all the trees for berries. Talk to people in online mode for ingredients while you're running around. 2d. Also stop by Motostoke and give yourself an updo or short haircut with a berry themed dye job. You are a professional chef, dress like it! As close as possible I guess.

3. You now need 2 pokemon.  You will be seeing these pokemon up close and personal for a number of hours so pick 2 you like. I chose Eevee and Pichu and may I say I do NOT recommend Eevee, its name-cry gets annoying real fast, go for something that's a sound and not a person saying a word. Your pokemon will level up to about lvl 20 in the setup here so if they are friendship evos or evolve at low levels, give them everstones. This run, only Curry Connoisseur pokemon get to be used in battle once the setup is complete, so it seems thematically consistent to have them be babies of some kind. I feel baby pokemon like Azurill and Pichu, cleffa, even and especially maybe munchlax are good thematic choices. You could also use pokemon the evolve at high levels like Larvesta or Dreepy. Whatever you pick, you will need them for the whole game, unless you want to repeat the setup process for your Rte 1 and 2 pokemon. Some people like repetition, I don't judge. 

4. Once you have your pokemon, camp anywhere. Settle in for the long haul. Put on Critical Role or some podcasts or the Golden Girls reruns, whatever you like to listen to while performing drudgery. This will take 3-5 hours. 

5. Call both your pokemon to you, and play with them until they stop playing and do a little dance. 

6. Cook a curry with no ingredients and one basic berry (Oran, Pecha, or Cheri). Do okay on the minigame. You will get Wobuffet Class basic curry. This will reset your pokemon's playfulness. You could cook higher value curry if you wanted, but you are making a LOT of curry here and in the early game your resources are sparse and the sociability score increase of better curry is not worth it in my opinion, but you do you, chef, this is your kitchen. 

7. Repeat steps 5 and 6 for several hours. You don't even have to leave camp. Just Play, Curry, Play, Curry. Periodically test how your pokemon's Sociability Score is by calling them to you and then talking to the space between them to address both of them at once. You want the message "A and B seem to be Best Friends!" You have now maxed these two pokemon's Sociability. 

8. Go to a route and camp. Make the best curry you can. After each curry, look around your camp for a new Pokémon standing there with "..." over their head and talk to them. Voila. You have caught a Curry Connoisseur Pokémon.

Important to note, you must box all but your Max Sociability pokemon everytime you camp for a new encounter. Only Maximally Sociable pokemon should be in camp or you're wasting curry, it seems. I caught Wacan the Grubbin on my first curry on Rte 1, a Charizard Class using my best quality berries. It took more for Bluk the Rookidee to join on Rte 2 cause I just had lower class berries and was making Milcery Class curries with the occasional Copperajah. I made 10 of those before it dawned on me that Wacan's newness and low sociability might be interfering with Pinap and Pomeg's great hosting skills. After I boxed Wacan, Bluk showed up for the 4th Milcery Class curry. So, the key is Max Social mons with Milcery Curry or above, the better Curry the better chances.

[theouterwilds]

( @poisonhemloc )

Flint sat on the grass for a while, sitting against the radio tower and playing their ukulele. They played the usual melody, matching up with the tone of the rest of the travellers. They kept their eyes on the sky as the strummed. They weren't sure where the new one was so early in the loop. They had hoped to get to Timber Hearth as fast as possible so they were easy to hear and quick to get too.

They supposed they were a bit slow.. they just hoped that the new one remembered to use their signalscope to find them...

A few spins later and Flint sighs. Wondering if maybe the new one died real early in the loop... not a good thought, but absolutely possible. They continued playing anyways, just out of hope. They don't really keep an eye on the sky anymore though, as the sun is starting to get red... they don't like to be reminded of their limited time.

Eventually, they hear the sounds of jets running. The loud hiss of a ship landing, and they look up from their ukulele. Just beside their own ship, another lands. It's quality is a bit better than Flint's own, but their wasn't made for landing very often. They were an orbiter. This new one was a full fleshed traveller. From the near perfect landing, Flint could tell they'd done this a lot, even though it had only been around ten to fifteen minutes since their first technical launch.

The exit hatch opened and the newest traveler hopped out in full gear. Turning to face Flint, their body language became instantly excited. Flint stood up, leaning their ukulele against the wall beside their helmet. They smiled.

"Howdy!"

The other rushed over, taking their helmet off and beaming.

"By the stars, hi!!" They were a bit shorter then Flint, but not by much. Their eyes still had the glowing wonder of a fresh hatchling. "I heard your ukulele! It's very nice." After getting close, they almost looked like they wanted to hug Flint.

"Well, I was playin' it in hopes you'd come to me. So..."

"Do you know me?"

Flint chuckled. "Well, the last time I was on Timber Hearth before the loops wa-"

"You're in the loop too?! Well, I guess I knew that since Gabbro just told me-"

"You're a talker, aren't ya? Heheh.. yes, 'm in the loop. And as I was sayin', the last time I was here before it was to get a resupply of food. I didn't see anyone but Slate. And before that it have been a long while, so if I knew ya, I don't recognize ya now. Sorry hatchling."

They shrugged and continued to smile. "Well, I only remember your name. Last time I saw you was when I was just a little one... I'm Chalk! Nice to meet you, Flint!"

"The pleasure's all mine. By chance... do you know how many loops it's been?"

"I keep a track on my organizer... I think this is loop two hundred... and thirteen? I'm happy to check!"

"Don't worry about it. Here, have a seat. Let's chat a while, yeah?" Flint sat back down and patted the spot beside them, which Chalk quickly took.

Chalk sat their helmet on their lap and tapped it a bit while thinking, looking up at the sky. "Judging by its redness... we have around five minutes."

"You're real adjusted to this, aren't ya?"

They shrug. "Well, been over two hundred loops. You get used to it at some point. I guess I'm kinda thankful though. If I had never gotten into the loop, I'd never have been able to learn so much about this solar system... there is so much I could tell you about."

"We got all the time in the universe and more, hatchling. Go for it. And you're always free to visit my ship.... long as ya aren't crashing into it again."

Chalk chuckled bashfully, rubbing the back of their neck. "Right, hahah... sorry about that by the way."

"It's alright. Now talk. What's on ya mind?"

Chalk got excited and instantly began talking. They talked about the nomai statues and the translation tool they had made with a friend. They talked about how there were ruins everywhere. They talked about Gabbro and the other travellers. They ended up talking about...

"And then a few loops back. I was looking for a probe that's orbiting the solar system because I had a look in this place right behind us. There is some sort of thing that causes an eclipse of the sun... here, come see!"

The sun was getting dangerously close to exploding, and they Chalk happily led Flin/iron the radio tower. Flint had been here before, but never inside. They never saw a need to. Walking inside they saw all the pictures of the solar system. It was beautiful. One had a dark spot over the sun, and another had Gabbro over the lens.

"What is that?" Flint poked the dark spot on the photo curiously.

"I was going to check it out this loop, but then when I pulled out my signalscope, I heard you!"

"I really need to look into the solar system more..."

In the distance, the undeniable sound of the sun shrinking in on itself could be heard. Flint and Chalk rushed outside as the sun imploded in blue. The heat could be felt in their faces from here.

"Well..." Chalk laughed a bit. "See you in another loop?"

Flint nodded. "Yeah. See you around hatchling."

The blast of the sun hit them both as the solar system faded to white.

[f-resh-air]

Stay away from mentally unstable people, societies, doctrines, & so on.

You will always be the product of your environment. The more time you spend around burn outs, & people who aren't able to find balance, the further you'll be.

Observe those humans who complain, and are easily offended, & watch how they live life with out optimistic eyes. Those whom you cannot trust and that don't trust themselves. Judge everyone, not for their soul or their value but for your own navigation & potential, don't get mixed up with these kinds humans.. you can throw your life away so fast, I watch people do it time after time.

Deliver yourself from all the confusion, life is passing by, fast. It only speeds up as it goes along. Take into your awareness, there is truly no destination only the experience of now. Embody it entirely.

Don't settle for basic connection, average sex, average love. Don't settle for just survival needs. Don't settle for societies depressing nonsense ideology. Just eat whole quality food like we have for most of history. If your in a first world country stop complaining about nonsense, you could be in somalia or yemen. Everything is corrupt, great!

Take advantage of any possibilities you can. No one's coming to save you.

Procrastination destroys all your dreams & it's only your fault. Life's not fair, the worlds not equal.

Love is the only real infinite & unknown, all else has dead ends and will lead you into further disconnection. People's trauma is the most obvious and should be used as a manual. Addiction is the opposite of connection, observe habits of all. A real friend is more valuable & rare than you may think. Hold tight the real ones who have shown this.

Listen to her love languages & follow her eyes this is her truth, learn how to navigate your polarity. Theres no amount of money or power that holds more value than a womens genuine love and energy. You can have it all, but if you buy your women, your just a bitch. It may be a man made world but she is the highest value and she created it all. The older you get the more you see it for what it is. All the worlds cycles, all the patterns, all the consistencies.

The world is dark and cruel. The human experience is an infinite variable. Don't under estimate anyone's abilities to be a human in all ways. Ironically though out it all the sun always shines again.

Life's highest potential will always be love, even if it's foolish ill probably choose this every time, over and over and over into the unknown.. 🤍

- B.

[landscaping-my-life]

8/13/23 day 2

All throughout my life, I’ve learned to mourn the loss of my innocence. Every second, I lose more and more of my innocence. It’s nothing to get angry about, it's not an injustice. It’s simply something to be present with, and to treat myself gently as it passes. I am a little different from others in this regard. I grew up a little too fast. It all started when my brother hit me when I was 17, no it must have started much earlier than that. 

When I was 14, he turned on me and started bullying me. And how ironic, and funny it is - his signature line he used to hurt me - “you have no friends”, when what made his betrayal hurt so much was the fact he was my only friend, and my longest friend, since he was born 3 years after me. 

Well, that explains a lot, doesn’t it? Maybe this has something to do with my depression and despair when I look at my boyfriend Nate, and feel utterly futile every day. How can I ever feel secure? I had established 11 years with my brother and it fell apart, destroyed by the wind. This idea of so-called roots is just a philosophical concept. I barely have a year with Nate, I’ll have to wait 10 more years to see if my false foundation with him will be destroyed. 

In the meantime, what do I do? Delude myself? I just don’t want to. So here I am every day, living in despair. I don’t want to - I want to live in love and hope, but what am I to do? Whatever am I to do? 

I had hope - even after my brother hit me. While I was at CLE, I had so much hope. I had friends who I wasn’t afraid to pour my heart out to, and a trajectory that everyone cheered me on. 

Now, I’m scared to speak. It seems like everything I have said has been judged and proven false, and I couldn’t say anything back. The shame and fear over thinking to myself “and you really thought you had something of value to say” is hard. It is hard to feel, and hard to sit with. 

No… that can’t be right can it? That voice can’t be right. I imagine… I have something valuable to say… maybe, just maybe… I really do have something valuable to say. 

People out here are 20 times more quick-witted than the kids at CLE. I am scared I don’t have the brains to defend myself, and by people, I mainly mean my boyfriend Nate. There, I said it. I feel inferior to Nate, and not just a feeling… its a design to be less intelligent than him. But that can’t be right, can it? I just won’t let it.

Well this is very interesting, isn't it? I am needing trust from Nate that he will not, can not, compromise on his quality of counter-arguing. One of my biggest fears is that if I let him soften, I will snuff his fire, and as a result I will never, ever hear all the possible endless holes in my thinking, and I will go on deluded for the rest of my life. At the same time, I am needing to confide in him what I just wrote above.

How to go about this?

[oorpe]

fuck certificate mills

Jesus Fuckballs Christ is ITIL certification a grift and a half. The job wants me to get certified on this basic ITIL 4 thingy. That means I have to install the official peoplecert proctoring spyware on the company laptop. Don’t really want to install god knows what surveillance crap on there but hey, not my property so fuck it. It’s not like they haven’t already breached our entire organization with this shitty software. I wouldn’t trust it but again, not my call. I already took the training course last spring, but I’ve been putting off scheduling the exam because I can’t stand reading the intentionally confusing jargon and nested, byzantine multi-level definitions of incredibly samey-sounding concepts. But alas, now I’ve officially run out of time on the test voucher I got last year. So I had to begrudgingly schedule the exam for the level 1 or whatever it was called for next week. I had the training a year ago as stated, but I doubt I’d remember any more had it been yesterday: the lecturer was absolute dogshit. It was in it’s entirety just a 2-day slog of him reading out poorly made powerpoint slides and me dozing off and leafing through the mock exams. It was the last thing I did before going on summer vacation last year. It sucked ass.  So, as all good students do, I procrastinated until the last possible moment, and then started looking around the peoplecert website yesterday for the actual course materials. And holy fucking shit you guys, what shifty anti-user nonsense their little course book app is! It’s a characteristically clunky browser-based “ebook reader” that allows you to add bookmarks and highlights and annotations in limited capacity. It’s pretty bog-standard features-wise, but what really pissed me off about it was how it fucks with page printing in a really underhanded way. I usually print any longer reading materials out, partly because I can’t stay on task when reading off a computer screen, and partly because I just like it better that way. So I print my reading materials liberally, that’s why I bought the stupid laser printer after all. And let me tell you, this company fucking hates the fact that browsers let you print web pages out. There’s an in-app print to pdf prompt, sure. But this is actually a trap designed for maximum frustration. The in-app print option arbitrarily restricts printing to 2 pages at a time. There’s a 40-60s “progress bar” before the download starts (as expected, this is complete bullshit, it only sends a request for the pages after the timeout has elapsed.) The printed pages are unnecessarily rendered into incredibly poor quality .png with impairingly large and up-keyed incrimination-focused watermarks all across. Judging by what I gleamed from the http requests made, there’s a hidden cap on activating this “print” feature of a 100 activations, and this isn’t disclaimed, so you might spend hours trying to laboriously print out what you need to read, only for it to tell you to go eat a dick 90% through the book. In short, it’s the worst print button the world has ever known. I hate this print button with great passion. So, I figured, fuck that. I’ve used a browser before, I’ll just print from the browser prompt on every chapter (the app loads the book into view chapter by chapter) and that’s that. Well, not so fast! The browser’s print preview just shows a blank page with a shit-eating little <p>don’t you know it’s impossible to print html?!? what are you even doing you dog-brained fuckstick, now go use our awesome print feature little donkey</p> (paraphrasing only slightly) plastered on top.

Fuck me, these people really don’t want people reading their garbage book, huh.

Ok. Let’s dig a tiny bit deeper, what is it doing here?

It turns out that the app registers a few event handlers for the beforeprint event, so that when you open the browser’s print dialog, it can remove and re-add the main content iframe. That in turn displays only their little passive-aggressive message, until some logic clears it a moment later, and the actual chapter becomes visible. Of course, the browser’s print dialog tries to print the current state of the page, and only captures the single paragraph that is visible at that moment, hence the preview from before.

Well, that’s annoying and profoundly anti-user. Let’s continue. Eventually they have to give my browser workable markup in order to display this stupid thing, it’s just a matter of digging.

It turns out the chapters are rendered via two nested iframes (some other dickish obfuscation scheme I’d assume), so I grab the inner one and quickly look over the markup. Yup, fantastic, the buck stops here. I can just open the src= of the inner iframe in a new tab and use devtools to drop a few fuckery-inducing script tags and the style tag that hides the page contents initially. A presto, the chapter is suddenly entirely printable with minimal hassle! Someone really should let these people know that it’s actually not that hard to let their users print out this material. In fact it takes some pretty grifty fuckery to screw with a basic browser feature in this way! Anyway I didn’t actually read a goddamn word of the material because I was so pissed off about this comprehensively wrong-headed approach to basic accessibility. But I did manage to download and re-collate the stupid book into a single file today, which was naturally a lot more fun than reading their godawful business management wank, so all in all a decent day of “work”. At least I’ll have the materials fucking accessible for the inevitable round 2 after I botch this stupid exam.

[mellowswriting]

wicked

pairing || Adrian Chase x fem!Reader

word count || 4.7k

summary || Adrian finally gives in to temptation and lets you smoke him out. You finally give in to temptation and let him kiss you. 

content || coworkers to friends to lovers, recreational drug use (marijuana), smut (oral, fingering, Adrian constantly running his mouth, unprotected sex, creampie, riding)

a/n || this idea has been rattling around in my head for over a month

Main Masterlist  |  Library Blog 

Working black ops is stressful. You knew to expect that long before you became involved with your little ragtag team of weirdos - but what you weren’t expecting was for your team to become your stress relief, too. See, you went into this whole thing intent on not getting too close. What you do is dangerous work. The idea of getting close to someone only to lose them in such a violent way turns your stomach.

Even so, you couldn’t help but warm up to every single one of them. Economos and Leota were too easy not to befriend. You bonded with Chris over your shared love of music, even though you often argued over the quality of new bands. Even Harcourt became your friend. You often went out together for drinks together after a long day of work.

But Vigilante? The two of you clicked automatically, best buddies from the very start. You team up together on missions so often that Harcourt doesn’t even bother trying to separate you anymore, just to avoid Vig’s whining. There’s no counting the number of times you have patched each other up and passed out in each other’s places after being awake far too long. Soon, stitches and post-debrief catnaps become movie nights and sleepovers, and you've got a somewhat psychotic best friend that you may or may not be completely in love with.

Falling for Adrian was far too easy. He's sweet and boyish and somehow crass and incredibly fucking sexy all at once, a duality you didn't think was even possible. Besides, you aren’t blind. Adrian isn’t exactly conspicuous, to say the least. He stares constantly and you catch him checking out your ass at least twice a day. There's a rabid overprotectiveness that overcomes him whenever you're in even a hint of danger - which is often, considering the line of work you're in. Adrian lingers at your side during debriefs, walks you to your car every night, even offers to clean your guns for you every now and then.

The tension has been rising for weeks now and you can’t deny that you have been wondering who will break first. You don't have to wonder for long. It happens on a random Tuesday, of all days. The little impromptu party that happened in your living room had long since died down. Leota was the first to leave, too eager to get back to Keeya to hang around long, and Economos left not long after. Harcourt and Chris made sure to leave twenty minutes apart - as if they were being clever enough not to tip you off that they were getting together afterward.

That leaves you and Adrian alone together on your couch. It’s familiar, comforting even. Seeing him lounging around your house in his civilian clothes has become so normal that your home feels empty on the rare occasion he isn’t there. He’s always there, chatting up a storm so fast that you can barely get a word in edgewise, but you don’t mind. Listening to him go on and on, seeing him get so animated - it’s all too cute.

Which is why his sudden bout of silence is so fucking weird. “C’mon, Adrian. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’ve told you a ton of weird shit about myself, I’m not really in the position to judge you.”

“I just - I don’t want you to think less of me,” Adrian mumbles, picking at his nails intently. You snag his hand before he can make his fingers bleed and he finally locks eyes with you.

“We’ve done a lot of morally objectionable shit together.” You reassure him with a squeeze of his hand. “Just tell me and we can go from there.”

“I - I was thinking maybe you could show me how to smoke weed.” It comes out in such a rush that you can barely distinguish one word from the next but the second it clicks in your brain, you can’t stop the surprised look on your face. “It’s just that you and Chris have so much fun when you do it, and it’s not like it’s illegal anymore, right? I mean, alcohol was illegal for a while there and we still drink together all the time! So if it isn’t against the law, I don’t see why -”

“Adrian, breathe!” You cut him off before he can go completely red in the face from over-explaining himself. “I would love to.”

Adrian’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Seriously?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course, I’ll smoke you up.” You’re almost giddy with excitement as you hop off the couch and grab the bag you keep tucked underneath your bed. It would be a lie to say you’ve never thought about what Adrian would be like after a few hits, but he’s always been so intense on the subject that you never pushed him on it. Adrian’s leg bounces nervously as you settle in next to him. “Don’t worry, okay? We’re gonna take it easy for your first time and I’ll be here the whole time.”

It isn’t surprising that he’s a quick learner. That first hit sends him into a coughing fit but he takes your advice, watches the way you inhale, and copies your every move. Not even a minute after, Adrian is already needling you about why it’s taking so long, vibrating with an adorable, nervous excitement.

“Just relax, it doesn’t take long.” You chuckle before flicking the bright red cherry off of the half-finished joint, not wanting to get too buzzed so you can keep him on the right track. He needs a distraction before he spirals, so you ask him about those modifications he’s been making to his suit. Adrian lights up. He goes on and on about the various hidden pockets and added protection he has sewn into the black and teal suit.

It’s pretty obvious the moment it kicks in. Those pretty green eyes of his are slightly glazed over, little ‘um’s breaking up every few words, and you find that you were right. He’s somehow even cuter when he’s buzzed. He fumbles for his phone to show you pictures of his suit - even though you saw it less than five hours ago - but it slips through his fingers and clatters to the floor. A burst of giggles bubbles from his mouth.

“Oh,” Adrian says, voice bright with realization. “Wicked.”

“Yeah?” You prompt and nudge his knee with yours.

“I feel like I’m fuckin’ floating.” He mumbles as he melts back into the cushions, blinking all slow and lazy. “God, fuck, it’s too quiet in here. I can hear the tv buzzing, it’s driving me nuts. Gimme your phone. You know, your playlists are way better than mine, which is complete bullshit. That’s gotta be some sort of talent, being able to make perfect playlists. You’re an artist.”

You just scoff and toss him your phone, which he unlocks with a few taps. He squints at your screen like it's brighter than the sun, nudging his glasses up his nose as he searches through your Spotify intently. Indecisive as ever, it takes him a few moments to pick one, but a dopey smile curls his lips when Hozier’s voice whisps away the silence of your apartment. You’re the only person he would ever admit it to, but Adrian actually loves a lot of today’s music. He made you promise never to tell Chris when he willingly turned up a Harry Styles song and screamed along to it on one of your many car rides in the Vigilante-mobile.

“Mm, good choice,” You sigh. The soft, low tones of the music wash over you and you close your eyes to soak it in. It’s easier to let yourself revel in the soft buzz you’ve got going on now that you know he isn’t going to spin out. The couch shifts next to you and you peek one eye open to see Adrian sitting cross-legged, looking at you with that same dopey expression. You give him a soft smile. “What?”

“You’re really pretty all relaxed like this.” He says, trademark in his casualness. Your stomach flips at the ease with which he compliments you, his words ringing with sincerity. “I mean, you’re pretty all the time - especially when we’re on a mission. Have I told you that? You look so fucking hot with a gun in your hand but when you’re all relaxed and happy and smiling, you’re, like, a thousand times prettier.”

Heat rushes through you and you shift in your seat, murmuring a quiet, “Adrian…”

“Plus these little shorts look so soft and comfortable. You look so soft and comfortable. Fuck, is this what getting high is always like?” Adrian’s fingertips glide along the hem of the pajama shorts you threw on once everyone else left and you feel like you’re going to die if he keeps this up. He’s just too cute. Your already waning inhibitions disappear under his touch and there’s nothing to stop the mischievous idea that takes hold of you.

You pluck the half-finished joint from the coffee table and wave it dramatically in front of his face. “Wanna shotgun it?”

“Seriously?” Adrian sits straight up. Eagerness burns away some of the dazed look from his eyes. “Wait, that’s like kissing, right? Like, I get to kiss you and inhale the smoke out of your mouth? Not some weird shit with an actual shotgun, because I don’t have one with me right now.”  

“You’re right, it is like kissing.” You chuckle, pleasantly surprised that you don’t have to explain it to him. That little voice of reason that always held you back from giving in to the temptation of Adrian Chase is strangely absent from your mind. It doesn’t matter that he’s your coworker, that he’s your best friend, that this could really complicate things with your already complicated job. All that matters is finally giving the both of you what you so rightly deserve, what you both have been craving for so long - each other. You reach out to brush an errant curl from his forehead. “Do you want to kiss me, Adrian?”

“Fuck yeah, I do.” He replies without hesitation.

Warmth burns through your body as you sit up, your knees pressing against his thigh as you try to focus on lighting the joint - not on the anticipation that rolls in your belly. Adrian stares up at you intently, something you have never quite gotten used to. All his claims about not having feelings are complete and total bullshit. You can tell just by the affection that burns in his eyes that he is just as susceptible to getting swept up in the whirlwind of love as the rest of you are. His intense gaze drops to your lips as they wrap around the joint and pull a long inhale, one that threatens to make your lungs seize if you aren’t careful. You lean back and drop the joint into the ashtray on your table.

The light press of your thumb against his chin draws his attention back up to your eyes. He lets you tilt his head back just slightly and you exhale slowly, your lips brushing his as he draws in the smoke from your mouth. The air between you sizzles with electricity, your eyes locked with his as he holds the smoke in his lungs just like you taught him to. It’s the little whimper he gives that draws you in again for a real kiss, your hand cradling his jaw as your tongue teases a small taste of him. Wisps of smoke escape him as he parts his lips and deepens the kiss, a broken sound bubbling against your lips when his tongue touches yours.

Adrian finally breaks.

Those hands you have been fantasizing about forever snag at your waist and pull you into his lap with an ease that has you shivering. The little show of strength only makes you ache for him that much more as the pleasant warmth of your high ignites into something sharper, something needier. You melt into him as he licks into your mouth with a low moan and drags you impossibly closer, his grip on you tightening with every little sound he pulls from you. It’s sloppy and desperate and everything you have been dreaming of. It isn’t until your lungs scream for air that you finally break away from him.

“Fuck, you taste so good.” He whispers reverently, his hands greedily massaging your bare thighs. “Like vanilla. Is that chapstick or some shit? So good, like a cupcake.”

“Yeah, it’s chapstick, you weirdo.” You huff with a laugh. The methodic squeezing of his exploring hands is so distracting that you barely notice the pout your teasing earns you. Adrian looks like a dream like this, all wide eyes and spit slick lips. Your thumb drags over his bottom lip indulgently. “You’re really good at that, pretty boy.”

And just like that, it’s as if you never teased him to begin with. Adrian fucking melts for you, something needy and hungry cracking open in his chest. One of his hands abandons its exploration of your thigh to cradle the side of your neck, his thumb stroking back and forth along your jaw. “Let me do it again. Fuck, let me do everything, anything you want -”

Adrian cuts himself off by kissing you. He finally has you right where he wants you, willing prey trapped in his grasp as he memorizes your taste and scent and every curve of your body. He can’t decide if he wants to bury his hands in your hair or grab fistfuls of your ass, or if he should kiss your lips or the tempting line of your throat. The opportunities are endless and it makes his already frayed mind go haywire. You cry out his name when he nibbles at your pulse point and pride sings in his veins. You’re the smartest woman he knows, quick-witted and great in a fight - and he’s managed to turn you into a mewling mess with a few kisses.

“Please I - fuck!” You gasp as his teeth dig harder into the corded muscle of your neck - hard enough to leave a pretty bruise where everyone will see. Your fingers tangle in his curls and yank him away, and for a horrible second, Adrian thinks he’s crossed a line. The desperation in your voice soothes his worries. “I need you so bad, I swear to god I’m gonna explode if you don’t fuck me.”

“Holy fucking shit, you sound so pretty when you beg. I could blow my load just listening to you.” Adrian grits out through clenched teeth. You’ve gone all mindless with need, just whispering little pleas as you press soft kisses along his jaw. The thin fabric of your shorts almost tears as he shoves his hand down the front of them. “You’re so wet, baby. I’m gonna drown myself in your pussy.”

Fuck, he’s got a filthy mouth. Even as his fingers delve into your slick cunt, he runs his mouth; half-finished sentences break off in the middle only to be replaced with another thought destined to go unfinished. You can’t focus on any of that, though, not with the sparks his touch ignites across your skin as he explores you. He begs you to let him eat you out, honeyed words falling from sin slick lips, and the second you whisper a rough ‘fuck yes’, you find yourself being manhandled off of his lap. Adrian presses you back against the cushions and rips your shorts and underwear down your thighs, tossing them to the floor as if being in the way of your drenched cunt is a crime against humanity.

“I always knew you would have a pretty pussy,” Adrian says so matter of factly - as if those words don’t send a flush of embarrassed heat flushing up to your cheeks. He pulls your thighs up onto his shoulders, his gaze shimmering with lust as he studies you intently, and you can’t help but squirm in his firm grip. “So needy, huh? Gotta tell me, baby, tell me what you need and I’ll give you everything -”

His hair feels like silk between your fingers as you pet his curls back from his forehead and his rambling stutters to a stop. “Adrian, honey?”

“Yeah?” He whispers.

“I need you to eat me out.” You ask, sweet as honey, and Adrian practically melts for you. He tugs you down a little further by your thighs and doesn’t hesitate for a second. He looks too damn handsome like this - chest heaving with excited breaths, crooked glasses, excitement dancing across his features - but you don’t have long to appreciate it. The moment the wet heat of his tongue teases your clit, your eyes flutter closed and your mind shuts off. The rest of the world disappears - every worry, every stress, every fear falls away under the pleasure invading your senses. “Oh, Adrian.”

Just the sound of you moaning his name is enough to spur him on. He’s imagined it so many times - mostly when he’s jerking off in the shower or watching you handle a gun. The real thing is so much better. You are artwork he has been given the gift of touching with his bare hands and he never wants to stop. He wants everything you have to give and more, every inch of your body, every sweet word you speak, all of it. For now, though? Adrian settles for making you cry out his name over and over again.

The flat of his tongue circles your clit in steady swirls that have your back arching into him, greedily seeking more of his touch. Two fingers dip into your cunt, a tease of the stimulation you chase after, and before you can beg him to just fucking do it already, he sinks them down to the knuckle. The warm, hazy pleasure sharpens, twists into something more animal and aching as he curls his fingers up against the sensitive spot that makes your thighs tremble. You could smack him for ever even joking about being a bad lay - it takes a special kind of man to have you so fucked out of your mind that you can barely open your eyes.

You grind against his face mindlessly, already hurtling toward a devastating orgasm, and Adrian can’t stop himself from smiling at you. It’s fucking filthy to see that cocky little smirk while his face is buried between your thighs and you just know he’s never going to let this go. The suction of his lips envelops your clit and your nails dig into the fabric of the couch, your thighs nearly crushing Adrian’s head as you careen closer to that inevitable edge - but he doesn’t mind. He could die a happy man between those plush thighs.

A choked curse barely manages to pass your lips before molten hot pleasure bursts through your belly, sparks skittering up your spine as your body spasms. It’s debilitating as Adrian keeps going, tongue slowly laving against your clit as his fingers slow to a gentle roll. You squirm and jerk in his hold, not quite willing to give up the sensation of his mouth against you, all while broken praise falls from your lips.

“Perfect, that was - holy fuck, you’re perfect.” Your fingers loosen the tight grip on his hair and rub his head affectionately, a wordless apology for pulling so hard. Adrian soothes your overworked nerves with the burning heat of his tongue, gentle licks and sucks that have you trembling. It’s quite an effort to unclench your thighs from around his head and Adrian whines, entirely put out by the mere idea of leaving your drenched cunt. “Fuck, Adrian, fucking kiss me.”

That perks him up. Adrian presses a wet kiss low on your belly before he drags himself up your body to kiss your lips. His chin is slick and you can taste yourself on his tongue, and the obscenity of it makes you shiver. You smile against his lips, a pleasure-drunk little grin that makes him smile, too.

“I made you cum.” He chirps, pride bright in his eyes as he studies your wrecked state. He nips your jaw playfully. “I wanna do it again. Please? We can go to your bed so you’re more comfortable. This can’t be good for you back. Or! Or you could, uh, sit on my face. I just wanna make you cum on my face, however you want.”

“Next time,” You promise with a breathless laugh. Adrian whines again, a dismayed sound that threatens to make you change your mind right then and there. The hard press of his cock against your thigh keeps your one-track mind running, though. All you can think of is finally - finally - sinking onto his cock and feeling that perfect stretch that you have been aching for. Your thumb brushes over that sweet spot behind his ear and he leans into the touch, watching you with a needy expression that just begs you to give in.

Instead of giving in to the temptation of his puppy dog eyes, you let your fingers drift over the bulge in his jeans and revel in the sight of his jaw going slack. He grinds against your hand, burying his face into your chest with a low, ‘oh’. It seems to dawn on him just then that you’re still wearing a shirt - and that just won’t do. Adrian pushes your shirt up until you catch on and help him pull it completely off, and you swear you’ve never seen him move so fast. He cups your breasts with a reverently gentle touch, far softer than you thought him capable of. All it takes is a low sound vibrating through you for Adrian to step it up a notch and wrap his lips around your pert nipple.

It devolves from there into something mindlessly horny, the two of you grinding and groping like it’s the last chance you’ll ever have. It isn’t until you finally unzip his jeans that Adrian pulls away from you, albeit begrudgingly, to tear his clothes off and haul you into his lap - right where this entire tryst began, just with fewer clothes in the way. He’s all toned muscle and freckled skin and you just know you will never be able to get enough. You lean up on your knees and Adrian makes a helpless noise with your chest so close to his face. The wet heat of his mouth envelops your nipple once more, his eyes rolling up to look at you when you rock along the length of his cock.

Adrian mutters a muffled ‘please’, a sound so sweet you could never refuse. The sheer size of him is enough to have you shivering in delight as you sink onto his cock. Thimble. Complete fucking bullshit. Adrian’s fingers seize your hips in a tight grip and his head falls back against the cushions, eyes unfocused as he tries to resist fucking up into you. You’re still so sensitive from his talented mouth and fingers - the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. He huffs out a broken whisper that almost sounds like your name and despite the need coursing through your veins, you chuckle.

You finally have him speechless.

The first roll of your hips makes you both spit out curses. You’ve always imagined your first time with Adrian to be something soft, something easy, but the claws of lust have ensnared you both into a rabid, animal hunger neither of you can resist. A glint burns in his eyes the moment you jerk in his lap, his head tilting and eyebrows raising in a silent ask for permission. You barely manage a nod before he flashes you that boyish grin you fell for all those months ago. Adrian drags you into a harsh pace, bracing his thighs to fuck up into you. It hurts so fucking good - the harsh dig of his fingertips into your hipbones, the grinding of his cock against that sweet spot he already abused with his fingers, the blunt drag of his teeth along your collarbone.

One particularly rough thrust upward sends you off balance, a yelp tearing its way up your throat as you fall forward into his chest - and Adrian laughs. The little fucker laughs, his pace never faltering as he fucks you like it’s his last night on earth. His brain must have finally come back online, no longer buffering at the feeling of your hot cunt around his cock, and that mischievous look you love has returned.

“Fucked you stupid already?” He teases, voice choppy thanks to his rough thrusts. You can barely scoff at his smug attitude - because he’s right. All your mind can focus on is the warm rush of arousal humming through your body, stoked higher and higher with every roll of your hips. “You’re mine, aren’t ya? All mine to touch and fuck and love - fuck! You were made to take my cock. Perfect fucking pussy…”

“T-touch me, baby, please.” You guide his hand down between your legs and Adrian doesn’t pause for a millisecond. Those talented fingers glide through your cunt and zero in on your clit, rubbing rough circles into your still sensitive flesh. The sound that comes out of you is almost unrecognizable, a pornographic cry of ‘yes!’ that makes Adrian go even crazier. He watches with rapt attention as you grind into his touch, already addicted to how impossibly hot you look chasing after your high with his body.

The crest of your second orgasm hits so hard that tears spring into your eyes. Your nails dig into his shoulder as pleasure twists through your belly, leaving crescent moon marks on his pale skin. A wrecked sound falls from his lips and Adrian spits more jumbled, filthy praise about how good you feel cumming on his cock. You have to wrench his hand from between your thighs before he can make those tears fall, even though you know he would love to see it. He’s already cocky enough.

“That’s my girl.” Adrian groans, his pace falling into a sloppy, desperate race to the finish line. All it takes is the feeling of your mouth latching onto his neck, your teeth and tongue working in tandem to leave a few more marks for him to remember you by. His hips stutter and he holds you down on his cock, grinding up into you to push his cum as deep as he can.

“Holy shit.” He croaks after a moment’s quiet.

“Yeah,” You breathlessly agree.

A comfortable silence falls over the room. All you can hear are his steady breaths, the slowing of his heartbeat as he calms down. His warm palms slide up and down your back, a soothing gesture that has you melting into him even more, boneless and weak in the aftermath. It’s impossible not to ache for more of him; more kisses, more fleeting sweet touches, more kitten licks against your soft skin. Adrian notices. Of course, he does. He notices everything about you, he has from the very start. So he presses a kiss to your temple and another to your cheek before he even reaches your mouth, all too eager to give you everything you want and more.

It’s slow and sloppy, soaked in indulgence. It’s everything you have been dreaming of and more. It takes a moment for your body to cooperate but eventually, you manage to sit up and stretch your aching back. Adrian hums a dismayed little sound at the loss of your warmth but still smiles at you nonetheless, all sleepy and sated. His hair is a mess, glasses askew, cheeks still red from the exertion of fucking you so thoroughly.

You push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Tired?”

“Actually, I’m fucking starving.” Adrian’s eyes light up. “Wanna order Chinese food? That place over on Hawthorne is still open and they have eggrolls that make my dick hard, they’re so good.”

“Sure, Adrian.” You chuckle. “But you have to get dressed for they show up. Flashing is a crime, remember?”

“Aw, man.”

[happybird16]

Escape V

Tea

Levi Ackerman / Fem Reader

Mermaid AU

Escape Masterlist Link

Chapter Warnings: Fluff

Word Count: 2.5k

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39039084/chapters/97811100#workskin

Last Chapter | Next Chapter

You usually stop and get food on the way to meet Levi, pulling through a drive through for a quick and easy meal. There aren’t many options along the way, especially healthy ones, but you try to vary your dinners when you can. It felt embarrassing at first, gobbling down a greasy packaged burger, or something similar in quality, in your car. Even parked in an overgrown parking lot in the middle of nowhere, it felt like there were eyes judging you. Like you were some sort of wild animal being observed at the zoo. 

 Not this time though. Plodding along the shoreline, crinkly paper bag of fast food in hand, brushing against your leg with every step. You want to eat with Levi, to share some small bit of the human experience with the curious Mer. He’s always bringing you small treasures, and while fast food is nowhere near a treasure, you wanted to give him something in turn. Some little experience, a memory that he can treasure. 

 Turning the bend, his familiar trill of greeting fills the air before you can even spot him. It always amazes you how well you can hear his Mer noises, usually musical sharp clicks and trills, over the rush of the waves. Sometimes he doesn’t seem to realize he’d made a sound. 

 “Hey Levi! I brought a gift!” You hold the white package high above your head, the contents rustling a bit at your presentation. 

 “You brought trash?” You can practically hear the disgust in the word. 

 You plop down a short distance from his side, wiggling your toes in the cool water. 

 ”its food!”

 “I see bags like that all over the ocean floor. You better not plan on leaving it here! I spend so much time trying to gather your human garbage.”

 “No! I promise I’ll pack it back up and take it with me!”

 “What is it?” He sniffs audibly, nostrils flaring as he breathes in the scent of fried meat. You have no doubt that the scent is completely unfamiliar to him. There’s a vaguely untrusting look in his eyes. There’s also an odd glint to them though, something curious and bright, excited to try new things. 

 You place the bag between you, a bit higher up along the sloped coast to avoid the oncoming waves. The white paper is almost glaringly bright against the light brown sand.  

 ”I wasn’t sure what you’d be able to eat, so I got a fish sandwich for you. There’s also a few things that I like myself for you to try.”

 “Sandwich?” 

 “There’s no sand in it, I promise. Just some meat between two slices of bread. Here.” Pulling the slider from the paper bag, the metallic-papery packaging crinkles beneath your fingers. He takes it from you, a confused look on his face. 

 “This is food?”

 “It’s in packaging. See mine is too!” Lifting your meal from the bag, you pinch the tucked-in end of the packaging. You slowly peel back the wrapping, happy when he copies the movement with his own meal. 

 ”It’s… slimy.” He’s almost glaring, eyes squinting at the offending grease coating the wrapper and his hands. 

 “That’s grease, sorry. I hope it doesn’t upset your stomach.” 

 Levi clicks his tongue against his teeth, a sharp very human sound of distaste. “Am I going to shit like crazy later because of this?”

 ”Maybe. It’s a solid possibility.” Almost definite, actually, but you choose not to say that. 

 He clicks his tongue again before taking a bite, his sharp in-human teeth glinting in the sunlight before easily tearing into the breading. You take a bite of your own burger, watching his face as he chews. He remains mostly expressionless, his brows tight in their usual tilt. Almost as if he’s unwilling to emote, not wanting to disappoint you with his disgust. 

 “What do you think?”

 “It’s…odd. Chewy.” He flicks his ears in hard jerky motions, jaw working hard against the sandwich despite his sharp teeth. 

 ”You don’t have to finish it if you don’t like it.”

 He takes another, larger bite as if to prove a point, cheeks bulging a bit around the contents. “I’ll finish it. What’s yours made of? It looks different.”

 “I got a burger. It’s sort of the same thing as yours but with beef. There’s a bunch of other toppings on it too.”

 “Beef? From a cow?”

 ”Yeah! Do you want to try a bite?” You hold out the burger towards him, ignoring the bit of grease sliding from your palm and down your wrist. 

 Instead of taking it like you’d expected him to, he leans forward to bite right into it from your hand. It makes butterflies bounce around inside of your stomach, seeing his lips so close to your digits; the sharp teeth spearing into the bread just a few inches from your fingertips. 

 He shakes his head, making an unhappy face like a toddler who’s just eaten Brussel sprouts. Mouth twisted into a deep frown; his nose wrinkled up in displeasure. You're surprised he doesn’t spit it out, given the sheer disgust visible on his face. His ears tilt down, the tops low along the sides of his head in distaste as he quickly gulps down the red meat. 

 Eager to remove the flavor from his mouth, he quickly goes back to munching on his fish sandwich. It might not be great, but it’s certainly much better than the burger. 

 “You didn’t like it, I’m guessing?”

 “Tasted gross. Burnt, almost like ashes.” His nose twists back up into a tight scrunch at the mere memory. 

 “No beef for you then. You're not used to cooked food anyways.” He’d explained to you before that he mostly eats raw fish. His sharp teeth have no difficulties with the tiny bones. It’s no wonder he finds the fish sandwich oddly chewy, the cooked meat no doubt rubbery in comparison. 

 “Ooh! I got you a drink too! I hope it’s not melted…” You dig into the paper bag again, pulling out a small shake. The white Styrofoam cup creaks beneath your grip as you punch in a long red straw. Eyes curious, he takes it from you almost immediately, nails digging into the soft Styrofoam. 

 ”What is this?” 

 “It’s a milkshake! I got my favorite flavor in case you don’t like it. I have another drink for me too if you do.” 

 You pull the final object from the bag, the dark brown liquid visible through the clear container. You punch the straw into it, making the ice cubes clack against each other. 

 Unsure of what to do, Levi is staring at the beverage in his hand. “It’s cold?”

 ”You drink it from the straw, like this.” You pull the straw of your own drink between your lips, sucking it with a sharp tug. His eyes linger on your pursed lips, making your heart throb a bit in your chest. 

 “Straw.” He repeats the word back at you, glaring at the tip of yours. You’ve kind of stopped noticing his odd accent, the weird rumbly way he lengthens all of his r’s, but it becomes super apparent as he struggles with the new word. 

 Levi once again copies you, pulling the red straw between his lips. You can’t help but watch them wrap around the thin straw, his plush bottom lip jutting out to curve around the plastic. The up and down bob of his Adam’s apple as he takes a large gulp. 

 “Bleh. It’s too sweet!” This time he actually almost spits it out, arm stretching to hold the beverage far away from him.  You chuckle at the twisted look on his face. 

 “It’s probably too much sugar for you anyways…” You don’t imagine he gets much of it in the first place. 

 You take a quick pull from your own straw, the taste acrid on your tongue. “Mine is a bit too bitter for my tastes. I thought this was sweetened tea when I ordered it.”

 “Tea?” There’s that curiosity again. Maybe he’s heard the word before? It sort of sounds familiar coming from his lips, unlike the awkward way he pronounces new words. 

 ”its iced black tea. I like it packed with sugar, but you might actually like it. Here, we’ll trade.”

 You swap drinks, his nails clacking against the plastic in his grip. You notice tiny divots indented into the Styrofoam of the milkshake. Nail marks. The milkshake is pretty melted, nearly soupy, not that he would have known the difference. The familiar taste floods your taste buds, the cold drink bringing a rush of cool sensation along the back of your head. 

 “Ahh, that’s much better!” Closing your eyes, you take a moment to relish the taste. 

 Levi takes a small pull of the tea, cautious after the last beverage. His ears flutter a bit at the taste, something they haven’t done before. Taking a long pull, his eyes close. A short happy sounding trill fills the air. 

 “You like it?” 

 “Yeah. It’s good.” He actually sounds satisfied, his voice a content low hum as he continues to sit and the beverage. 

 “I’m glad.” You're happy that he likes something you’ve brought. Even if everything else was sort of a failure, at least he enjoys the tea. 

 It’s almost comical, watching him happily drink the tea, his ears fluttering every time he takes a new sip. The piercing you’d put high on his ear is jingling, a high metal sound, with every happy flutter. An odd sight, you think. A merman drinking ice tea from a straw. 

 A straw that had just been in your mouth. The thought brings you to a pause, staring down at your own mostly finished shake. This straw had been in his mouth as well. An indirect kiss. You bury the thought before it can cause you to spiral too far. 

 His voice helps ground you, the calm tone relieving you from your twisting thoughts. “Is this…regular human food?” 

 “More than it should be, but it’s not exactly healthy to eat often.” Not that you have any room to judge. “It’s supposed to be more of a treat, or something quick to grab if you don’t have much time.”

 He hums in response, finishing off his drink with a sharp pull. The straw makes a raspy, airy rattle against the bottom of the container. He brings the bottom of the clear plastic up to eye level, jiggling it and glaring at the clacking ice remaining. 

 “I want more tea.” He’s almost pouting, the tilt of his lips is incredibly cute. Like a small child who’d just been denied their favorite snack. He takes another useless pull from the straw, making it rattle again before finally conceding and putting the empty beverage back into the paper bag. 

 “I’ll bring you some more some time.”

 He releases a short happy trill, ears flicking excitedly as he takes a final bite of his sandwich. The greasy wrapper quickly follows the drink, returning to the crinkly paper bag. 

 You turn to watch the sky for a bit as you take the final few bites of your burger. The sky’s so blue, so bright and cloudless, that it’s a bit difficult to tell where the ocean ends and it begins. Some fine line of blue on blue that's nearly impossible to differentiate. The sun is still high, bright and yellow as it glows brightly overhead. Large puffy white clouds meander slowly across the bright blue horizon, your eyes follow them; trailing along the cotton edges as they shift and change shape. 

 The last bite of your burger is a bit heavy on your tongue, chewy and no longer hot. It was good, not the best, and you aren’t really surprised he didn’t like it. It’s about as far removed from his usual diet as one can get. 

 You hear an odd noise from the man beside you, a sort of grumpy hum that sounds vaguely familiar to your human ears. Gaze straying from the bright horizon, you find Levi glaring down at one of his hands. He’s rubbing his fingers together, face pinched tight as if they’re coated in something gross and slimy. 

 “Are your fingers still greasy from the sandwich? There should be some napkins in there if you want to use them.” Though, realistically he could just lean forward to dip his fingers in the tide licking lazily up to your knees. 

 The sound of crinkling paper fills the air yet again, though the waves are getting a bit higher, beginning to drown out the sound. Levi’s face is oddly contemplative as he wipes his fingers on the small paper sheets. “I see these down below a lot too. The red thing we drank from, too.”

 “The straw? I’d like to say that humans are getting better at that but…” 

 A loud, gross, gurgling noise breaks your train of thought. You could definitely hear that above the rushing waves. It’s his stomach, no doubt protesting the greasy fast food. 

 “I… may have to cut our evening short,” the words are punctuated by a finned hand pressed to his belly. He suddenly looks a bit sick, and definitely more than a little embarrassed by the noise. 

 “Oh no! I’m sorry that the food upset your stomach!”

 ”its fine. I figured it would. You warned me beforehand, too.” He looks sort of green, the cast is a bit odd against the blue scales lining his face. 

 There’s another loud gurgle, the hand pressed to his stomach moves to almost soothe the sound away. A futile gesture, you know that first hand. 

 “I’m going to go. I have to shit. Make sure you clean all this up.” He points jerkily at the paper bag; your metallic wrapper balled up into the sand beside it. 

 “I will! Goodnight, Levi! Hope you feel better fast.”

 “Goodnight. Thank you for this. It was fun.” His voice sounds fond despite the hurried words.

 You don’t get to respond, more apologies on the tip of your tongue, before he surges forward into the ocean. You watch his tail flick above the water in the distance. The membrane stretching across his leafy-like tail fin is thin enough that the sunlight shines through it, the webbing lines of muscle black against the horizon.  

 You sit for a while, nursing your drink, watching the sky paint pink as the sun lowers towards the ocean. The sudden strong gust of salty air catches your hair, making it twist to brush against your forehead. The calm waves fill your ears with their soothing rhythm -back and forth, back and forth in an unending tempo against the sand. It’s too quiet without him here. The long stretch of desolate sand doesn’t seem peaceful anymore. Even long silences seem more comfortable in his presence. 

 Taking one last sip of your milkshake, you can’t help but think of his lips. An indirect kiss.

[motzgurke]

Broken Pillar 2/?

Another one! And pretty fast at that. Thank you very much for reading this weird makeshift story, I came up with during the night. I don’t know how much chapter it will have in the end, but at the moment I’m really motivated to write a few, so we’ll so what happens :D

As always enjoy ^^

PS: I finally saw the newest episode and nearly cried seeing baby senjuro gettin hurt T.T And that scene with kyojuro smiling so softly.. my heart can’t take this...

Words: 4338

Hurt, angst (?), romance, drama, slight nsfw (but nothing too revealing… yet ;D )

 “As you can see, there are a lot of things I need help with. Treating the patients, taking care of the mansion and train younger slayers or Kakushi. For a first task I would like you to clean the bedsheets and make sure to patient’s rooms are nice and tidy. After that you can help Aoi cooking. Any questions?”

Shinobu smiled brightly as she gave her the tasks. The things she had to do were simple, far to simple for a talented slayer like the Thunder Pillar, but she guessed it was Shinobus way of punishing her.

It was humiliating if any other slayer would find out about this, a pillar doing such easy things instead of training or spending their time with something more proper for her status. Y/N new how fast the word would spread, and how the image would take a toll from all of this, but since it was her doing that led to all of this, she had no choice but to accept.

So, she nodded wordlessly and bowed in front of her friend. Usually, Shinobu and her would be very close, they would drink tea in the garden of the butterfly mansion or spend some quality with Mitsuri in the city if she was available.

Y/N considered the Insect Pillar her closest friend, sharing a lot of secrets and things that were paining their minds, and so she knew the smile that Shinobu was giving her was not a friendly one.

It was full of hidden anger and disappointment, masking the raging storm behind her soft violet eyes. Shinobu silently judged her for keeping quiet, not explaining why she would choose to hurt an innocent man like that. It was so unlike Y/N and to have to witness and take part of degrading her friend like that was more than unpleasant.

But she only followed the masters’ orders.

Y/N was watching her with a blank expression not hinting what was going on that pretty mind of hers drove Shinobu crazy, but she didn’t have the nerves to argue with the Thunder Pillar about it. She made a choice and now had to face whatever consequences it brought.

Clapping her hands together she shifted her gaze to Kyojuro who was silently listening to Shinobu. The Insect Pillars of course noticed how unlike himself he was since discovering Y/Ns actions. Keeping quiet, not smiling, all of the other pillars were worried as well, but none of them was brave enough to ask about his mood anymore.

Not since he nearly snapped at Sanemi who was trying to ask him how Kyojuro coped with the situation. Sanemi wasn’t really harsh with his choice of words, but after he mentioned Y/Ns and Kyojuros relationship the latter pushed the Wind Pillar into a wall and threatened him not pry on private things.

Nobody has ever seen the Flame Pillar as angry as that before and they decided to let the lovers solve their own problems. If they should still be called lovers.

Ever since they brought her into the headquarters Y/N turned exceptionally cold towards Kyojuro. Ignoring his advances and offers her help, she even refused to look at him and everybody knew how Kyojuro hurt more with every passing day.

None of them understood why she was doing this to him, they used to be so close, openly showing their love for each other with gentle hugs or soft pecks. To seem them separated like this was nothing they ever thought possible.

Shinobu wasn’t one to pry on others relationship, but she desperately hoped the Thunder and Flame Pillars would overcome all of this and reunite, for the sake of both their wellbeing.

They couldn’t afford to lose two Pillars at the same time, nor was she wanting to see her friends hurting themselves like that.

Y/N was to first one to break the silence as she stood up and mumbled with a low voice. “I shall start working.” She bowed respectfully to Shinobu and was ready to go when a large hand shot up and grabbed her sleeves.

Kyojuro kept watching the ground as he too rose to his feed and bowed to Shinobu.

The Insect Pillar could clearly see the other woman sweating, keeping her eyes closed shut and desperately denying to turn her attention to Kyojuro. What a pitiful sight Shinobu thought.

“I have a room prepared by evening for the both of you. Since you volunteered to supervise Y/N, I found it more suitable for your task, Rengoku-san.” She smiled innocently at Kyojuro.

His eyes widened for a second his brows creased but he silently accepted the offer.

Y/N on the other hand was looking at her with utter shock. Shinobu noticed her slight shaking and of the colours drained from her face, but the Insect Pillar had no intentions to take it back. It was a way to punish her and a way of helping them re-establish the feelings they may have lost.

Shinobu didn’t like to play couple therapist, but she thought they needed this little push.

“Don’t you think that’s not very suitable, Shinobu? Putting an unmarried man and woman in the same room?” Y/N tried to make Shinobu take back the offer, but the latter wouldn’t budge. It was better this way.

“Rengoku-san needs to watch you day and night, and so I will try to make it easy as possible for him, Y/N-chan.”

Breathing deeply through her nose the Thunder Pillar growled unhappy and ripped her sleeve from the Flame Pillars hand, then angrily stormed off with Kyojuro following close behind.

Shinobu saw his gaze shifting from passive to pissed and stomped after her, nearly shattering the shoji door with that force of his.

 Y/N made her way down the corridors huffing and cursing. She was furious at Shinobu and really needed to blow of some steam and since she wasn’t allowed to use her sword and go training, she would try to settle with the tasks Shinobu advised her.

What she didn’t realize was Kyojuro following her and rapidly closing the distance between them. He was raging, his flame radiating a dangerous heat and when he finally was close enough, he grabbed her wrist and tugged her harshly back, pinning her to the wall. His fists slammed into the wall next to her head and her gaze shifted from angry to dumfounded as she stared wide eyed at him.

She was shocked at his rude handling and felt her pulse speeding when those burning eyes captured her attention. Never has she seen him boiling like this before and she gulped heavily.

Kyojuro kept observing her, watching the sweat trickling down her face and the flush on her cheeks. Her genuine scared expression clawed at his heart, but he needed to establish some limits before her immature behaviour would spiral out of control.

When she opened her mouth to speak, he shushed her harshly and she squealed underneath him. He was so big, towering over her and for the first time ever she feared him and the authority he radiated.

“You will not run, and you will do as told without a complain, got it?” His deep voice didn’t allow any protests and he leaned in closer demanding an answer.

Y/N nodded hastily and kept holding his stare. Her heart beat was raging in her chest, and she could hear the blood rushing though her veins. She shivered as his hot breath fanned over her voice his incomparable smell filled her nose.

It was so familiar, and she dreaded to reach out, apologize and beg him for forgiveness. She wished desperately to fall into his arms to forget all of this and go back to be with him like he used to.

Her soul screamed his name over and over and she felt tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

Pictures flashed in her mind.

A man dragging her down a set of stairs into the basement. The clicking of chains and the rotting smell nearly making her puke. A cloth and a bucket were roughly shoved into her small arms and the grumpy voice barked at her to get going if she wouldn’t want to be the next. Then he released her from his cornering her at the wall.

She followed quietly the given orders and kneeled down, her dirty clothes soaking at the knees with dark red blood, and she dipped the cloth in the icy cold water. Her fingers froze at the sensation, and she rapidly retracted her small hand and started scrubbing the cold stone floor.

As always bits of flesh and hair were splattered all around her and she tried not to pay too much attention to it.

But as she proceeded and turned into a darker corner of the room, she discovered something knew.

That something was the body of a child, or to be more precise what was left of him. The torso was teared open and various organs were scattered around the cold body. Bones were broken and half of the face scratched of, one of the eyes hung loosely dangling.

The sight let her drop the cloth and a high pitched scream left her throat.

Tears flowed down her cheeks, and she started shaking as if suddenly her whole body grew cold. Her eyes were clenched shut and she heaved unrhythmic, unsettling the Flame Pillar in front of her.

He didn’t know what was happening, his anger disappearing the second she hunched over, and she started crying. Kyojuro was unable to cope with the change. Of course, he had comforted her before, but never has he seen a reaction like that. It was as if she wasn’t here with him anymore, but somewhere far away.

Helplessly he put his arms around her, but as he enveloped her, she started to throwing her arms and pressing herself further into the wall. Her fist met his chest, and she kicked and scream to leave her, her eyes looking with him with a fear, far more complicated than the little scare he inflicted on her.

Kyojuro felt sorry for hurting her and seeing her in panicking he grew even more impatient. He didn’t know how to handle her, and since she wouldn’t calm down and afraid, she could hurt herself he snatched her wrists and pressed them to his chest, to the spot where she could feel his heartbeat.

He took some deep breaths, slowing his pulse and calming his own raging heart. He needed to chill, or he wouldn’t be able to soothe his love, still shaking in his hold.

Y/N tried to pull herself away from his grasp. She saw the wrinkled, dirty hands tugging at her smaller ones and sharp nails digging into her flesh, they grey skin cold and disgusting compared to hers. The massive body in front of her laced with fat and dark brown hair was stinking and her panic raised the more he tugged at her.

She begged and cry to be released but the stronger man wouldn’t give in. Gripping her harshly and drawing blood from the crescent shapes forming on her skin.

Her screams grew more desperate, and the tears burned coldly at her cheeks, when a different voice broke through her fogged mind. “It’s me, your safe. Please, come back.”

The voice was deep, but the tone gentle and filled with care and concern, so she forced herself to look up. Surprisingly she didn’t find the dreaded face, instead a tender, loving gaze met her teary eyes and a soft smile tugged at his lips.

The fog started to clear, and she could see a golden mane with red tips framing this handsome face and she felt the shaking slowly leaving her body. Disbelieving she stared into this flaming orbs, filling her with warmth and soothing her aching heart.

She blinked and discovered her hands, splayed on his chest, feeling his soft beating pulse. Unconscious her fingertips pressed further into him, and her body tried to match the calm he radiates.

Suddenly feeling tired her legs gave out and Kyojuro guided both of them to the ground, snaking a head behind her head and leaning closer.

He still towered over her, but not as frightening as before. Now he was more like a shield, protecting her from the world outside and preventing any disturbance.

“Kyo?” Her voice broke, and she watched him wearily. Her breathing calmed down and she turned the hand he still held, intertwining their fingers and drawing them close to her chest.

Kyojuros gaze has softened remarkably, and he tenderly stroked her hair, careful to not unnerve her again. “I’m here.”

He was incredibly sorry but didn’t understand what drove her to that kind of reaction. Yes, he agreed his treatment was meaner than necessary, but to have her break like this? There was more to it, and it dawned him that it possibly had something to do with the incidence.

Not wanting to strain her mind further he made a mental note to ask her about this later, hopefully with a calmer reaction.

Now he just sat with her, observing her and waiting for her to compose herself, never stopping caressing her hands and hair.

Y/N appreciated his effort, she knew it wasn’t his intention, but his earlier treatment reminded her of the man she tried to forget, and the scenes he made her witness. She gulped heavily and just reciprocated his gaze, seeking comfort of those red and golden irises.

Even after everything she had done, he wouldn’t dare to love her less and she was thankful to have found him. Thankful and ashamed because she kept dragging him down with her.

“Are you still loving me?” She asked him with a dried voice. Kyojuros brows creased, and he looked at her disbelieving. How could she even think he stopped?

“Always and forever, no matter what.” His words sounded so genuine, so truthful that she felt a small ache in her heart. Y/N had absolutely no clue how he could say that so easily without hesitating.

She couldn’t take his affection; he was everything she ever could dream of. Handsome, strong, gentle and caring. A burning bright flame, lightening her path and keeping her warm when the world outside grew cold and hostile. Always at her side when she needed him, soothing her without complaining.

Y/N closed her eyes and a single tear rolled down her flushed cheeks. “What a fool you are, my flame.” She gulped and she felt a happy smile tugging softly at the corners of her mouth.

For her it was a mystery how could still feel for her even when she keeps depending on him, loading her weight on his shoulders. Kyojuro was her light, and she could never repay him for everything he was willing to give.

A soft laugh escaped him, and his gaze turned dreamy, imagining a future, where they could return to their closeness after all of this is over.

“A fool only for you. So, when your ready, please consider talking to me for I will listen closely to your every word.” He leaned in and his lips grazed the corner of her mouth, the image of a soft kiss to confirm his words.

Grateful she let him do as pleased, relishing in the tender feeling of his hold. She felt guilty for tying him to her, but he was to stubborn to let go and so she had no choice but to accept. Maybe one day the guilt would vanish, and she could open up to him as he wishes her to do.

But since that day hasn’t arrived yet she had to touch ground again and pushed herself back on her feet. Even if he still loved her, she needed to atone for the sin she committed, until then she couldn’t look at herself in the mirror again.

Wordlessly she waited for him to stand up too and then walked down the floor, straightening her back. First things first, the bedsheets.

Y/N opened the first room and started pulling at he covers, putting them in a basket already set next to the door. Kyojuro watched her silently, arms crossed and a lot more relaxed than before.

The frown still grazed his features but the smile he used to share with the world tugged at the corners of his mouth when he watched her dutifully accepting Shinobus instructions. He debated with himself if he should help her, but since it would only hurt her pride further, he decided against it. It was her part of her punishment after all.

Bed after bed was stripped from the sheets and the basket filled with more and more of the white fabric. Half an our later she gathered all of the sheets and grabbed the basket. When she passed Kyojuro he saw the sweat glistening on her forehead, it was simple task but repeating it as often as this was tiring of sure. And it was only the beginning.

Kyojuro watched her when she washed the sheets by hand, cleaning them neatly with a care and hanging them clothesline in the garden.

Sometimes she met his glance, looking shyly away every time he caught her, and cute flush would spread on her cheeks.

Oh, how he would love to just pull her into his embrace, keeping her tugged safely in his arms and kissing he with all the love he could give. Kyojuro was passionate with everything he did, whether it was fighting or loving Y/N, he always poured his heart in his actions, and it nagged at him, that he wasn’t allowed to comfort her more.

He found himself seeking her touch, remembering her soft hands running through his hair and over his firm chest, feeling his muscles flexing deliciously as she placed tender kisses on his skin.

He wanted to turn back the time, maybe if he paid more attention, he could have prevented this? Maybe he could have kept her from snapping and committing a crime like this.

I weighed heavy on his heart that his loved one murdered a human and he had a hard time trying to judge her she deserves and wants. Kyojuro knew that she somehow regretted it and yet somehow, she didn’t.

It confused him and as much as he tried, he couldn’t find any sense in her doing and that was what hurt him. Knowing there was something she was keeping from him, something that would possibly explain her behaviour that day. His feelings were conflicted and Kyojuro watched her every move, hoping to find the tiniest clue helping him to settle his raging mind.

When she finished doing the laundry she immediately went to the kitchen and met with one of the butterfly girls, Aoi, if remembered correctly.

Aoi seemed surprised as Y/N explained why she was there. Of course, the medic heard the rumours about the Thunder Pillar killing a human and she eyes Y/N with an antsy look when she handed her a knife and a basket with potatoes.

Without complaining she started peeling the potatoes, on after another. Aoi’s gaze flickered between Kyojuro and Y/N, trying to decipher the mood. “I know it’s not my place to ask, but why are you accepting this, Hashira-sama?”

Her blue eyes settled on Y/N and the latter stopped her doing for a second, thinking about a suitable answer. Then she huffed and returned to peeling the potato in her hand. “Just Y/N, I’m not worthy of the title anymore.”

Her sad eyes met with Aoi’s, and the medic accepted with a frown. Kyojuro and Aoi were clearly surprised with her respond, but neither of them dared to argue with the Thunder Pillar. And of course, it didn’t go over their head how she avoided the actual meaning of the question.

“As you wish, Y/N. How long are you going to stay?” Y/N dropped the potato into a pot and grabbed another one. “As long as the master deems necessary.”

Kyojuro heard the mournful undertone, and he was relieved, that she at least regretted hurting their beloved master.

“And Rengoku-sama chose to supervise you?” She looked over her shoulder at the fiery haired man. “I’d rather have it be me than someone else.” He answered and crossed his arms.

He noticed how Y/N glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, but soon returned to her task as if nothing happened.

“Confusing…” Aoi murmured and chopped some vegetables. She didn’t understand either how all of this happened. She has known Y/N before, since she was closer with her master Shinobu, but Aoi would have never thought Y/N would be capable of doing something as disgusting as this. In fact, no one thought it possible.

But here she was, cutting potatoes and cooking rice, instead of relaxing in her own home or hunting the strongest of demons. A pretty hard fall for a graceful pillar.

The rest of the time they spend in silence, cooking and then serving the warm food to the grateful patients waiting hungrily. Of course, all of them were surprised to see an actual pillar, an elite swordsman of the corps, delivering them their food and then cleaning the dirtied dishes.

A few of the slayers who were brave enough to speak dared to asked how the events could have unfolded like they did, but none of them received an answer. So, they started to murmur behind her back, telling tales of a murderous pillar, who turned against her own people and within mere hours all patients and employees at the butterfly estate had at least heard of her.

The mood shifted dramatically. Some of them felt afraid of her, flinching whenever they saw her walking down the corridors and even refused to be further serviced by her, others were more open with their anger and disappointment. None of them spoke up, since Kyojuro was still watching over her, but the hatred and rejection in their eyes burned clearly.

In the evening when Y/N was released from her first day of work, she retreated to room, given to her and Kyojuro, who followed close behind.

The room was decorated slightly, a bit of simple furniture and a nice picture of dancing butterflies on the wall.

Two futons were already unfolded with a bit of distance between them, a rope lying next to one of them.

The two pillars eyed the ropes and Y/Ns gaze dropped depressed as she approached the futon and took the ropes. She felt the rough material in her hands, remembers the small splinters digging into her wrists and sighs.

Steps sounded behind her and she saw Kyojuros hands, taking the rope from her grasp. When she looked up at him, he weighed them in his hands with a blank expression, then he turned around and motioned for her to start her evening routine.

Y/N didn’t feel embarrassed a bit when she stepped out of her black uniform and the white overcoat given to her. Kyojuro already saw everything that was there to see and so she had nothing on her that was worth hiding.

Under more pleasant circumstances he would even help her undress, gliding his calloused, hot fingers over her soft skin, taking time in exploring everything in his reach.

A familiar feeling bubbled in her stomach, and she could feel herself getting wet down there. She missed his touch, they way he kissed her with so much passion and love. His hands would roam over her body, making her skin tingle with pleasure as his hands go deeper. Gracing her naked stomach down to her core where she needed him most.

Y/N sobbed at the memory and hurried to slip into the yukata, tying the sash tight around her waist. A hand combs through her hair to ground herself again. It wasn’t the time nor the place to think of this. Hell, she didn’t even know if he still desired her that way!

Dejected she turned back around and saw that Kyojuro had changed to into a yukata, his uniform and haori neatly folded and sitting on a small table. His and her own sword, that was entrusted to him, resting against a wall.

The pure white of their sheaths matching and she averted her gaze, not able to look at the swords.

Reluctantly she sat down on the futon and stretched her hands out, waiting for Kyojuro to restrain her. She wasn’t going to try anything, but to hear some of the patients worries must have driven someone to offer the rope as some sort of protection from her. Wasn’t she the one supposed to protect?

Y/N waited until Kyojuro rested on the other futon, but the feeling of the rope never came. Instead, she felt warmth of his hands cupping her own. When she looked into his eyes, she saw the flame burning softly and he lowered her hands down, shaking his head slightly.

Again, a sob escaped her throat, and she gave him a sad smile, then laid down on her futon, covering herself with the blanket, event though it was one of the warm summer nights.

Kyojuro watched and waited until her breath evened. He would love to hug her, shaking the sadness off of her, but his conscience didn’t allow him too. He couldn’t go own pampering her during her punishment, it would cause more problems than necessary.

So, he turned around and laid down facing away from her, as he listened to her, crying in her sleep.

And he didn’t turn around that night, no matter how his heart longed to ease her pain.