#(( ........ and also how that magic disruption works too tbh

[shutupineedtothink]

Post Ep 6 Theory: Billy Is Casting Agatha as the Villain

Well I really have no business writing theories at this point since I’ve been wrong multiple times but like maybe I really got something this time, you know? Isn’t that the point? Can’t I be right one time?? My Capricorn stellium is raging at having all these theories disproved. And I love it at the same time. 😅

Whatever. Potential spoilers under the cut.

So I’m fully on the “Billy magicked the Road” theory, he is Wanda’s son after all and tbh there’s just too much evidence to ignore it at this point. I won’t go into all of it, House of R pod does a great breakdown in their episode 6 review, check that out if you’re interested. The basic points are: Billy created the Road probably subconsciously, Agatha knows it, she’s trying to figure out how he did it and what his goal is, and also get her power back and not die from the Seven. Cool.

My theory is an offshoot of the Billy theory, and speaks to where he and Agatha are going to end this season (aka coven two). Ready? Ok.

Soooo if we take as fact that Billy conjured the Road, because he can’t control his magick and more broadly because he has some shit to work through (again, same as Wanda) then how do we explain Agatha’s trial within that framework.

Why was the trial to “punish Agatha?” If Billy, subconsciously or not, is in control of everything that happens on the Road, why do that?

Well, subconsciously, he’s angry at Agatha. Whether he’s actually angry at her specifically or just angry about what happened with the hex, it doesn’t really matter. He has a lot of suppressed anger that needs somewhere to go. And who’s the closest available probably evil witch? Ya girl, Agatha Harkness.

Someone he saw as his friend, possibly, in the hex. Someone who fought his mom and tried to take her power. And someone who ultimately, by disrupting the status quo, led to his literal world being destroyed. By that logic, I’d want to punish her too.

Billy, in his (probably subconscious) magic-fueled rage, grief, and sadness over what happened to him, his family, and his life, took all of that and blamed it on Agatha. In his fantasy of his own hero’s journey on the Road to find his brother, to get his family back, he has (spell)casted Agatha as the villain.

So when Agatha “can’t control” her power in episode 5, siphoning Alice, it’s not because she has issues with her own control of her powers. It’s because Billy was making her do it (again, probably subconsciously). She essentially blacked out at that moment, and turned into the evil witch Agatha Harkness. And when she comes to, she seemingly has no idea what she’s done.

So when she says she couldn’t control it, she’s not lying. But it’s not because she’s never been able to control her powers. She’s probably had control of them for centuries. It’s because in that moment, Billy was writing the narrative, not her. And then he confirms it to her face — you’re lying, you want power, that’s all you’ve ever wanted. Essentially saying, you’re the villain here not me not my mom.

And then it clicks for her, what he’s doing, subconsciously or not. And she turns on the evil villain persona herself to take back the narrative from him. And we get, you’re so much like your mother. Creating the Road, creating this whole story to serve yourself and the narrative you want to believe. Making me the bad guy. Undertones of fuck you.

Okay great, so where does this leave us now and how does this play into the show as a whole? I think the question the show is asking, as it relates to Agatha’s character, is who really is Agatha Harkness? Is she the villain? Is she the hero? Is she both, or neither? Is she her reputation, as Lilia reads in ep 2, or is she more than that? Can she be more than that? Can she be good?

Now here’s where it gets real juicy y’all, because as much as Billy has made Agatha the villain in his hero's journey, he's also made her the Guide.

He goes to her to lead him down the Road. He's constantly asking her questions and trying to learn from her. On some level, maybe a more conscious level, he does idolize her. He wants to see her as a witch to look up to. He even wants her love. Just look at his crestfallen face when she says she didn't put the sigil on him in ep 4.

She's the Yoda to his Luke, the Dumbledore to his Harry, the Moiraine to his Rand. And once again, subconsciously he knows it. And he wants it.

He says in ep 6, I don't know if I ever needed you (a mouthy teen if I ever heard one), but then his power immediately fizzles out. She calls him out on it, all that power and no access without a temper tantrum. He needs her. He needs to learn. Again, in this version, she has control over her powers normally, just not in her trial. So she can provide that knowledge.

He went to her to lead him down the Road. And she's been subtly teaching him this whole time. (Once vengeance is unleashed, you can't reel it back in. It's about selflessness, Teen.)

Now for her part, I don't know if she realizes she's mentoring him. But she definitely cares about him, as we saw at the end of ep 4. Again, partly a reaction fueled by Nicky, but I think she's been at least 80% sure it was Billy this whole time. So she genuinely cares for him too.

If I had to bet, I'd say Agatha very much knows the different parts she's playing, the villain evil witch, the guide, and somewhere under even that, the real Agatha.

She's just playing along, some times more willingly than others, because she needs to see where this goes. And she doesn't necessarily want to break his baby brain in the process.

It's almost the more subtle version of her leading Wanda through her memories in WandaVision. She's guiding him along the Road, partly to see what he can do and get her powers back if possible, but also for his own good.

So prediction time, where does this leave us in the finale.

I won't speak to the remaining trials, but I'm thinking there has to be a big showdown between Agatha, Billy, and Rio.

If we're going for Agatha becoming her most true self, and Billy seeing her for who she actually is, my money is on a reversal of the Agatha stealing Alice's power scene.

Rio's going go to after Billy, and Agatha, to save him, is going to start siphoning his power. It's going to look like she's killing him, being the evil witch of her reputation. But then she's going to stop (because she's been capable of control this whole time), taking just enough power to get her purple back. He has more than enough to spare.

Also fun fact, Wanda's power (red) -> Billy's power (blue) -> Agatha's power (purple). Do I want this to happen just because the colors make sense... maybe.

Ultimately, Agatha and Billy become a team, a coven two, a master and apprentice. They both see each other for who they are, imperfect, powerful, but capable of good. Rio is fended off/bargained with somehow. Maybe Agatha offers up her own soul in his place but Rio can't do it. Idk that's all wild speculation.

Point being, this is all about self-discovery, self-actualization, and deconstructing false narratives you have around others, and in Billy's case, around his own life. Dealing with your trauma to become a more whole version of yourself.

And as with WandaVision, dealing with grief and loss, but in this case, also finding a companion, a familiar, a family you never expected beside you All Along. 👀

What do you think? Can you believe I wrote this the day before ep 7 drops?? 😂

[fluffypotatey]

Hello there! I hope the month has treated you kindly enough. I don't have much questions right now, but there are a few buzzing in my head:

Why did Wukong tell MK at the start of S2 that he was going on a vacation, instead of maybe just saying that he has some unfinished business, maybe a serious one, that needs attending to now that MK can sort of look after himself? Probably to set the tone into something less alarming but I think if he went with that kind of excuse maybe MK wouldn't feel so resentful about his mentor apparently chilling while away. Or rather why not say that he's going to the Celestial realm and that he may not be available for a while because time runs differently between the two realms?

What effects do you think that being imprisoned inside a mountain has on Wukong instead of being trapped under it like in the OG JTTW book? I mean, both are pretty bad but at least the one in the book gives him fresh air and sunlight instead of complete darkness in the isolation.

Do you think that just like the battle that lead to the Havoc in Heaven 2.0 is different in LMK compared to the original book version, the peach thievery and banquet disruption also has a different story to it than the book one?

How's your writing for SWK and The Reaper series going? If you're having a bit of an inspiration fatigue, take your time to recharge. But are we going to see the White Impermanence's successor in that series though. How would the s4 and its specials' events go?

Have a great week, eat your meals regularly and not too late, take your medication if you have any, and eat your fruits and vegetables!

oh dear, oh honey, you’ve done it now :3 the floodgates are open :) hope you don’t regret it

imma have to answer these by short answer to long, so that first one is definitely placed last

anyway,

How's your writing for SWK and The Reaper series going?

tis marinating my good friend! tis on the slow cooker rn and might be for some more days or weeks depending on my uni stuff and motivation levels T^T but yeah, it’s not abandoned (far from it!) just needs some more mental plotting (ESPECIALLY because I added Xié Líng to the story and kind of want them introduced in the upcoming chapter/installment/part(?))

Are we going to see the White Impermanence's successor in that series though?

so yeah, you will see the White Impermanence’s successor soon! their involvement in the story takes place more in what I have in mind for s4 :3 and I don’t remember what I mentioned about them, but Xié Líng is basically Júhua’s only friend in the underworld (not to mention that the two are basically soulmates no thanks to what they have/will inherit). they aren’t that big of a fan of Sun Wukong but tolerate him bc it’s Júhua’s uncle (a label she only ever confessed to Xié Líng). also, hoping they will help me explained Júhua’s magic a bit more since I now have 2 reapers in this verse :)

and for s4…..no, I shan’t say…….more Diyu and Júhua playing sleuth while MK goes through the horrors

Do you think that just like the battle that lead to the Havoc in Heaven 2.0 is different in LMK compared to the original book version, the peach thievery and banquet disruption also has a different story to it than the book one?

I honestly would not be surprised if that was the case. lmk already differentiates a lot from the book with specific details or chapters (Red Son’s chapter/Samadhi Fire lore, the reason behind Guanyin’s vase, how the JTTW crew met Pigsy, how they met Sandy, LBD’s chapter). so, while the feel of the show sticks with that adventure and high stakes and moral dilema that JTTW had, it also is its own piece of work (which you could argue for many JTTW adaptations tbh since there are sO many and many are very different from each other)

anyway, yeah, I have an inkling that the stolen peach story is not exactly book accurate.

What effects do you think that being imprisoned inside a mountain has on Wukong instead of being trapped under it like in the OG JTTW book?

oh ho ho! what a question 👀

I certainly think being trapped inside the 5 Phases Mt has a different impact than being trapped under it. for one, like you mentioned, book!SWK had the “luxury” of being able to see outside and breathe fresh air. lmk!SWK???? he is in the heart of the mountain. he is seeing nothing but rocks (stalactites and stalagmites), he can hear nothing but the drips of cave water, he can breath nothing but stale and dusty air….for 500 years :)

how do you stay sane in such conditions?

spoiler: you don’t!

you cannot stay sane or impassive to being trapped inside a mountain with nothing but rock and golden chains for 500 years!!! we all remember that clip of a freed swk, right?

see that? that’s the look of a monkey who’s just been released from a 500 year prison and is ready to tear the world apart just to feel better :)

so how would one stay some-what lucid in this imprisonment? my guess is the man hallucinated the shit out of it. bored of seeing nothing but rock and more rock and even more rock? how about visualizing that Macky returned after your horrible fight and is apologizing for snapping at you. how about believing that you good pals the Brotherhood and you didn’t fail your war with Heaven! how about thinking that the darkness and loud echos of the cave hold more creatures and demons who heard of your downfall and want to finish the job. how about envisioning being back at FFM, Macky and your monkey subjects are so happy to see you and you were actually never imprisoned! how about believing—

listen to me, listen to me: Wukong’s experience of being held inside the mountain, other than being smushed under it, is more psychologically impactful and I bet this monkey could not sleep well after being freed for centuries. Wukong sleeps with a night light still!

Why did Wukong tell MK at the start of S2 that he was going on a vacation, instead of maybe just saying that he has some unfinished business?

short answer: because he’s an idiot

long answer:

Wukong is very used to solving issues on his own. he is aware that MK is human (maybe) and a mortal (now debatable, but at this point, MK believed that and that’s what’s important). he is aware that MK’s an anxious kid and wants to prove himself but also has great power within him. he is very aware that MK still needs to complete his training and isn’t ready for what Wukong is about to embark on (also who Wukong would potentially fight against with no one being none the wiser to).

and, as I stated prior, Wukong is very used to solving issues on his own. he did it in his time before JTTW and even during JTTW because he was the overpowered stone monkey who was FFM’s trump card and the JTTW savior when situations got rough (barely any of the other companions are able to beat off an opponent without Wukong’s help). thus, Wukong is not someone to ask for help or even allow other to be aware that help is needed because he is not used to asking (he only will if push comes to shove and he is out of ideas, which he wasn’t in s2)

however, I’m sure we’re well aware of SWK’s almost allergic reaction to acknowledging help or admitting that something is most definitely wrong! but imma get that statement out of the way so that when I delve into the question, we all have what I said above in mind :)

now, why tell MK he’s going on vacation? why not give a lie that could be a little closer to the truth?

well, as said before, Wukong has an aversion to admitting when there are things going wrong that only he could recognize and probably worries that hinting to MK that Wukong is off to investigate something would possibly entice the kid to join Wukong or ask the monkey a lot of questions about it he isn’t inclined to answer. also, if Wukong were to say he needed to complete something in the celestial realm that would also bring on more questions he would not know how to respond to

thus, vacation! it’s already established that Wukong retired himself from helping duty by s1. and what do retired people do? go on vacation!!!! they hit the road, take the most tourist heavy sites, go radio silent and relax! therefore, if Wuking were to tell MK he is going on vacation, then MK would not ask him too many questions about where he’s going or ask if he can join! I would not be surprised if that’s Wukong’s thought process. this answer is merely the simplest way for Wukong to subtly get rid of the LBD problem while MK protects the city and learns more about how to hone his powers (it’s not like the kid needed Wukong, the kid’s a fast learner and his powers are growing pretty quickly).

‘course this undermines MK’s insecurities of not being good enough and brings to light his abandonment issues and his low self worth but, uh, yeah

in conclusion: Wukong dun fucked up for saying vacation because he’s an idiot

[nejackdaw]

morthal and markarth for the skyrim asks!

Ty for the ask! 💞

Morthal - Do you enjoy exploring dungeons and ruins? Why or why not?

Kinda depends tbh. Dungeons with multiple rooms absolutely FULL of enemies encourage a more stealthy approach, and while I'm a capable stealth archer, it's not my preferred play style, so it can be a bit unfun. The alternative, however, is the ENTIRE DUNGEON hearing me engage in melee and swarming me at once, which. Also isn't fun. Ultimately I guess the answer comes down to "depends on the number of guys in there" and "how likely is Marked For Death to solve the entire issue?" Skyrim is basically the only game where, when given a choice, I'll choose martial over caster or archer, but this can be a problem in packed dungeons. I like single or few guy brutal slugfests where we just beat the shit out of each other. Also then I can just take a break to throw up my shield and watch Celann materialize to OHKO them, which fills me with glee literally every time

Markarth - If you could rewrite one questline in Skyrim, which would it be? (This answer is sooooo long btw)

Hmm... I'm actually not too interested in a lot of them, but when it comes to being disappointed in one, it's the Civil War questline. The entire thing amounts to "use your main character powers about 5 times in a dungeon or something and then go fight the oppositional leader." You can't even fix Whiterun, a place you specifically took for its geographical, strategic, and mercantile advantage. You just leave it in ruins???

There are two quests in the entire line that aren't just "awkwardly storm this place with a couple guys,' and one of them is optional. Both sides have a "steal/plant enemy orders" quest, but the "gaining intel/blackmail" quest is in both cases entirely optional. There's one non-combative "sneak and find this document/gather intel" quest, and no "root out a traitor" or "disrupt a supply line" type quests (technically this one is awkwardly tacked onto the end of the optional quest.) The Dark Brotherhood, Dawnguard, and Thieves Guilds have similar respective quests that we can compare to the 1.5 non-combative Civil War quests: finding intel on Maro's son, the radiant "vampire advisor" quests, basically the entire beginning TG questline (Honningbrew, Goldenglow hives.)

Each of these questlines involve non-typical quests, aka quests where you have to approach it a little differently than the rest of your work: the Brotherhood stealing documents and planting false evidence like thieves, the Dawnguard committing assassinations and pickpocketing orders like both the Brotherhood AND the Guild, the Guild quest where you engage not only in open combat with Mercer, but kill him, like both the Dawnguard and, well, the Brotherhood Brynjolf insists you're not.

While those questlines are largely the same sort of quests on repeat, it's because they're, well, specialized guilds. Built entirely around doing those things. That's their entire function. When it comes to a war (which is very NOT a guild,) you'd expect a bit more than just a few skirmishes, especially considering the only thing that changes when you join is, well. There's one more guy in the skirmish. But magically this turns the tide and the entire war is won through brute force when previously there seemed no end in sight. The questline lacks variety, is incredibly, oddly short for what's supposed to be a war, and generally just... lacks impact. Nothing really happens afterwards. Faction camps are still sitting around, and you still can't even clear them. Hold guards are replaced by the faction that won and Whiterun is permanently in shambles. Can't even fix Whiterun ffs there's not even quests for that.

* After leaving this in the drafts for a few weeks and thinking about it some more, I think ultimately the problem IS the brevity. "Do four battles and suddenly we win" is absolutely insane. The Dawnguard DLC and the Thieves Guild, even the one single time I played it, have spoiled me rotten with the never ending radiant quests. It prevents the Companions feeling of "I joined three days ago and now I'm in charge and everyone does what I say" that throws everyone off. Not only can you keep accepting them, the mainline quests don't get in the way of accepting them (... like the Companions only telling you to go talk to Aela.) This means you can keep accepting radiant quests that provide a feeling of integration and contribution (in)to the guild, and also avoids the Companions and Civil War feeling of "I did three quests and it's over and everyone is bowing to me" by allowing you to do guild things in-between the main quests.

Not only that, but they offer a variety the main line might not provide, especially with the Dawnguard. For example, siding with the Volkihar includes a quest where you're given Dawnguard armor and told to go cause a scene, striking down some innocent civilian in the name of "vampire hunting" to sow public distrust. This quest is cool as fuck conceptually btw, why is a Volkihar radiant cooler than the entire CW line???

Ultimately I think if I could change one thing about the Civil War line specifically it would be adding TG/DG style radiant quests that can be done between main missions and also include "milestone" type quests that really bring home the feeling of growth and contribution. I think it would make it feel considerably less jarring and I'd even maybe consider playing it again if we could fix Whiterun.

[royalreef]

        Meanwhile — she’s taking this entire dungeon business VERY seriously. If the near-month of training and preparation wasn’t already a clue. Professional!! Even if she’s still not as experienced as Aaravi herself, she takes very deep pride in being able to handle this swiftly and efficiently. Be wary, if you let a menace cat into your dungeon, for who knows what she might break.

[silvyavan]

if clover forces yuno to be some spade royal for stability or some shit i want yuno to be Spiteful about it. just clear out & fire any spade noble who smell like scum, maybe have asta there with his ki-sensing to help screen them. kick them out, take their shit, make their mansion an apt or orphanage bc fuck 'em, and tell them to go build themselves a log cabin. and yuno being down To Fight if they have a problem, like what's wrong? i thought You Wanted me here? who were YOU expecting?? (1/5)

like some old noble being interviewed & brings up they had good convos with his parents & yuno interrupting "good for you. what results did you produce for the people?", "wh-", "oh? nothing? you're fired, get out. next." the folks who 'wanted' yuno realizing from how he talks & acts this is no noble - this is riffraff. mr niaflem Where Did You Leave Him? "at a church i swear" yuno not even taking the king title, just staying a prince as an affront & bc he hates this enough already (2/5)

not like anyone outranks him right? promotes asta as a FU to clover + in genuine appreciation: he's Sir Asta of Hage now. they run around spade talking to commonfolk & overpaying stuff, making snowmen with kids, yuno even clears snow from streets & roofs, he's nice to them. tbh i also have trouble seeing asta leaving yuno out there on his own... maybe he & nero can stay for a bit while the stuff with their trial gets worked out? by the time clover gets back to them about things they find (3/5)

that yuno went on a noble eviction spree. did they think he'd become bougie? even nozel who was "oh hes a royal of course" is now going "holy shit they really gave the crown to A Fucking Peasant" thats right rich man its just like you always feared: a poor rat robin-hooding the shit outta everything. was it too much? who knows but idk what they expected from an uneducated spiteful 17y.o. who spent his life in the sticks & dirt, whos magic knight efforts & dream were suddenly undermined, (4/5)

denied going home, left unsupervised & handed a shitton of authority. yuno "can i go home? i think i threw out most of the trash :)", "what did you do to them?", "they work hard now :)" admittedly the dark triads disruption of govt made it easier to clear the weeds; meanwhile clovers are plentiful & deeply intertwined. it dawns on them he'd do that to clovers rich if he had the chance; its low-key threatening. "did i do something wrong? :)" (5/5 done) idk man its a what-if i keep having...

Op can i just say first and foremost, thank you for making my evening with Yuno “Drain The Swamp” of Hage concept

Right off the bat, Clover putting/forcing Yuno to accept the throne in either an attempt to monitor it/act as a puppet king for Clover or simply because they don’t want him there as a form of xenophobia is possible

The only problem is that Yuno would have a hidden talent for Malicious Compliance. There is, without a sliver of doubt, that Yuno will act as prince in the most passive aggressive way. “Oh, you want me to rule Spade but still be buddy buddy with you? Too bad, im gonna drain the fuvking swamp and rebuild the kingdom, focusing on the citizens needs. You know, like a good ruler.” That’s him, he’s out there ready to throw hands wit both Clover AND Spade for pulling this type of shit.

So obviously they’d put an inside man to monitor Yuno, but end up choosing William “Gay Peasant Raised, Ready to Start A Literal Coup” Vangeance under the assumption that since he was his captain, he’d listen to him. But really, most of his “reports” are just the same letter paraphrased as he has tea with Yuno to gossip and roast the Clover and Spade Nobility like

“The Kira’s are angry about Wednesday’s sacking.”

“Hoes mad.”

“Hoes Mad Indeed, Lol.”

Nozel suddenly being all “This is a literal Peasant saying Fuck The Bourgeusie” when he realises Yuno is firing assholes left and right but it does NOT help him that NOELLE, of all people, is supporting and endorsing the message (mostly because 90% of the nobles Yuno has been sacking are against Asta, hickest of the hicks who made Forever Friendship Bracelets with a demon, and are conspiring to frame him)

And the best part is that NOBODY, absolutely NO ONE has the balls to go against him because 1) they wanted this in the first place, 2) he’s the only ruler left of the royal bloodline and 3) if anyone so much as tries to speak against him, Asta, Sylph and Liebe (mostly for the thrill of harassing upper echelons) are ready to Shred These Assholes

And it absolutely drives the nobles wild that Yuno chose Asta ( the very same demon host that Smacked Dante and Lucifero Right Into Early Graves) as his right hand, as if he isn’t married to a demon and a threesome isn’t being theorised under the table

Clover Kingdom nobles realising that Yuno CAN and WILL come over to Clover to do the same unless they change is also something that makes a LOT of the houses sweat.

If Tabata decides to be a grade A coward and go with “Yuno ascends to the Spade Throne” as post Qlipoth arc, he better make Yuno be open about hating it and threatening damn near all of Clover with a Coup for the shit they’ve been pulling since forever (Diamond Kingdom is on Thin Fucking Ice, mostly because Mars has apparently weeded out most of the corruption and still isn’t done)

[bottomvalerius]

S Y for Donna. A S for Sam. A O for Valerius. - vesuvian-disaster

Dirty A-Z Headcanon Asks

Heheh thank you!! @vesuvian-disaster

Going undercut again for talk of adult stuff 🥴🔞

For Donna:

S - Sleepy sex (do they give oral to wake their partner up? do they like receiving oral to wake up? do they like fucking their partner awake? being fucked awake? how about being fucked to sleep at night? do they have lazy morning sex?) 

They would only do this for long-term partners where they have an established relationship! But they are open to it and enjoy it a lot. Aren’t the biggest morning sex person (they love to sleep and also morning breath lmao), but eating them out/ eating their partner out for breakfast makes up for it 😌

There are nights that Valerius stays up later than them working, and he has full permission to use them however he needs to to let off any steam. This can either be very sweet or can be rough, but they love it either way lmao

Y - Yes, Master (what kinds of names are used during sex? do they like being called master / mistress, daddy, etc…? what names do they call their partner?) 

Donna 👏🏻 has a 👏🏻 daddy kink. And a mommy kink too, but they prefer being called daddy if they’re domming & their partner likes it

But they also really like using master/mistress in place of daddy.

Baby and pet are solid go-to pet names for them, but they also like getting their own special names from their partners (i.e. mouse from Sam lmao)

For Sam:

A - Alone time (how do they get off when they’re all by themselves? do they watch porn, is it all in their imagination, do they jerk off, do they use toys?) 

Oh Sam loves porn LMFAO

Has a whole collection and often commissions specific work done. Has totally commissioned artists to paint him in the act before (and then maybe fucked the artist too lmao)

It’s not often Sam doesn’t have someone in his bed, so when he does he goes all out. Takes a bath with lots of oils beforehand, relaxing cup of tea, makes sure his bed is nice and plush for him.

Definitely utilizes toys and magic, but nothing really compares to just his hands. Likes coupling vaginal and anal stim. Edges himself a lot to keep the night going but also is able to over stimulate himself

S - Sleepy sex (do they give oral to wake their partner up? do they like receiving oral to wake up? do they like fucking their partner awake? being fucked awake? how about being fucked to sleep at night? do they have lazy morning sex?) 

As mentioned before, Sam has very particular morning routines that doesn’t like disrupting, even for sex lmao He would find it more annoying than endearing tbh

He’s old and also needs to sleep at night so when he’s done he’s DONE, do not wake him up (though he’ll at least thank you for trying to do something nice LMAO)

For Valerius:

A - Alone time (how do they get off when they’re all by themselves? do they watch porn, is it all in their imagination, do they jerk off, do they use toys?) 

I feel like Valerius would use more imagination than use actual porn. I think the idea of getting caught with it would be too humiliating a thought, but he DOES have a pretty big collection of smut fiction he keeps locked away lmfao

Also see making a bit of a spectacle about it most nights; jerking it is an act of self care for him 😌 has a collection of different toys (a lot of “non-human” ones 👀) that he keeps under lock and key, and he also likes dragging the night out by edging himself

However, unlike Sam, sometimes he just needs to rub one out and doesn’t care about making everything perfect, especially if he’s very stressed out (I totally see him doing this at the palace LMDAOO)

Y - Yes, Master (what kinds of names are used during sex? do they like being called master / mistress, daddy, etc…? what names do they call their partner?) 

OOF

I mean I’ve definitely given Valerius a daddy/mommy kink PLENTY OF TIMES LMAO and I think he’d also enjoy being called it

Would probably prefer being called master or sir with partners he’s not fully comfortable, and really enjoys calling a dom master too

Also loves being called Count or by his actual title in bed by Donna— it’s like an instant KO for him lmfao

Is opened to calling their any nickname if it isn’t too ridiculous. Likes calling Donna his pet or his sweet. Only really lets Donna call him baby as he feels most comfortable into really slipping into sub space with them, so it’s better to either stick to his name or like.... slut LMAO

[fantasy2739]

ohmygod I just read pretty much ALL your douxie fics, I love your writing!! if you’re still down for prompts, completely up to you if you wanna do this bc I know you’ve done a lot of suffering douxie already (but tbh I just love to see it) could you do a douxie sickfic? preferably with him being looked after by archie +/- nari but totally up to you!

Sickfics give me life but I suck at them(fair warning). But thank you so much for reading my works!! I’m glad you’ve liked them. We all love suffering Douxie.

Also, I know some of you are waiting for submissions and I really am going as quickly as I can. My inbox however, is still back on August 16th which is a while ago. I hope no one minds too much that I’m taking my sweet sweet time but I want to be sure these are good enough for you guys.

I hope you enjoy!:

Douxie couldn’t remember the last time he’d been sick. He must have been really young. He’d never been sick with Merlin. Never been sick after he’d fallen asleep. Wizard immortality did that to a man. In all honesty he didn’t think he could get sick. But here he was, laid up in bed with a fever and the worlds stuffiest nose. Nari and Archie hovered by him. They hadn’t needed a first aid kit, why would they? Nari didn’t get ill. Archie didn’t get ill. Douxie didn’t get ill. Except he was and they had no idea what to do. Archie was fluttering around, his dragon wings flapping rapidly. Nari was perched on the edge of the sofa, eyeing him cautiously.

“‘M fine.” Douxie mumbled sleepily. “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? You’ve never been ill before.” Archie said. Douxie could make out the blurry shape of Archie floating.

“Fine.” Douxie insisted. It didn’t sound fine. It sounded weak and slightly slurred. Douxie tried to ignore the fact that his body felt like a sauna meeting an igloo somehow. He should be going into work. He should be doing lots of things but he felt like he’d been knocked out flat.

“What do we do when someone is too hot?” Nari asked. “Skrael would dump them in ice and Bellroc would just leave them. But that doesn’t seem right.” Archie pondered it.

“I think food.” He said. “That fixes things. Soup and sleep.”

“So he sleeps now yes?” Nari asked. Douxie would have grumbled. Maybe even complained but sleep sounded really nice. Just a quick nap to ease the headache he could feel forming.

Archie watched Douxie fall asleep with a worried gaze. His friend hadn’t been sick ever. And this might have been one of the worst times to get sick, what with the Arcane Order breathing down their necks. Still, maybe that was part of it. The fight with the Order and the loss of Merlin were still close. Still too soon. And sometimes the mind just had to tell the body enough. Archie wasn’t a hundred percent sure on his suggestions. But they were better than nothing. And at least Douxie would get some sleep out of this. That just left Nari. The little (but not young, never young) green being. She was no doubt worried and if Archie acted worried... well it would only make things worse.

“Let’s leave him to rest.” Archie said, nudging her. He dragged a cover over Douxie and floated to the ground. “He’ll get better.” But was he reassuring Nari or himself. For an all powerful being Nari looked down right terrified.

“If we make this soup he will be fixed?” She asked shyly.

“We’re not going to make it now.” Archie said. “He should get some sleep first. Then we’ll make it.”

“This soup must be powerful magic.”

“It’s not magic per say. It’s food.” Archie said, attempting to reassure her with some humour. “You know what they say, can’t fight on an empty stomach.”

“Douxie is fighting?” Nari asked in alarm, eyes going back to their sleeping companion.

“What? No I mean. Technically.” Archie said. He sighed. “When you get sick it’s a fight within the body, not a person.”

“How does one win this fight?” Nari asked. “It does not sound easy.”

“They rest, they eat and drink water.” Archie said. “It gives them the... power to fight the illness.” Nari nodded and Archi felt just a little less ridiculous.

“So we wait?” Nari asked. Archie nodded. Nari curled up on the floor and sat in an almost meditative pose. Archie curled up, listening to Douxie’s disrupted breathing.

Nari was no expert on this soup thing. Quite honestly it slightly befuddled her. Archie has insisted it wasn’t magic but food. And somehow this magicless food would help Douxie. She wasn’t going to complain if it did, it just seemed... well it seemed useless. Magical beings needed magical things to sustain themselves. Except humans apparently. They all seemed to manage fine without magic plants and whatnot. She pulled out the fan of tomato soup and eyed it suspiciously. It didn’t look harmful. It didn’t feel it either. Archie told her how to prepare it and it all seemed simple. And sensible. And yet Nari couldn’t help but sniff it repeatedly. There was no magic. No poison. Just the smell of tomato and another plant that Archie called Basil. She watched it bubble away for a moment. Only for Archie to tell her that was enough. She’d burn it otherwise. Nari poured the soup into a bowl while Archie went to wake Douxie. He sat up sleepily, half lidded eyes trying to catch Nari. She came over.

“Archie said this will help.” She said, holding it out like an offering. Douxie stared blankly at the bowl and Nari wondered if she’d said something wrong.

“We may need to feed it to him.” Archie said. “And by we I mean you.” He waved a paw. “No thumbs.” Nari set the bowl down and grabbed a chair. Archie helped to prop Douxie up, curling up next to him. Nari plunged a spoon into the reddish orange soup and offered it out. Douxie managed to angle his mouth towards it and after a little swirling, managed to swallow. He grimaced and Nari wondered if it tasted that bad. But Archie had said it would make it better and she wasn’t going to slow down just because he might not like it. She made Douxie finish the bowl, letting him flop back after he was done.

“You will be better soon.” Nari reassured him. Douxie gave her a half smile that warmed her to her horns. He seemed to be drifting back to sleep. Nari took the bowl and watched as he slept on.

“He’ll be fine.” Archie said and she wondered who he was trying to convince. Nari reached over and felt the strong thrum of magic that ran through Douxie. It felt okay. Tired. Worn. But okay.

“He will be.” She said softly. “We will let him rest.” She gave him one last look over before retiring to her room and mumbling a prayer that her new friend would be okay.

[trensu]

Episode 45: The One where the Juniors Stick It to the Old People

Still in the demon subdue palace aka wwx's classy cave and wwx is putting ss on the spot and it's great

he's implying that su she is just the distraction or whatever so jgy can enact the Ultimate Evil Master Plan

oooh, i like this idiom he used here

"the mantis is catching the cicada, not aware of the bird behind it."

nice

I LOVE WATCHING WWX BE CLEVER

HE'S SO ATTRACTIVE DOING HIS DETECTIVE WORK

HE JUST BLUFFED HIS WAY INTO MAKING SU SHE REVEAL HIS HAND AND IT WAS AWESOME

he was all, why don't you prove me wrong and play the Totally Not Evil Magic Music you played before?? hm? 

su she ofc didn't play it so wwx pulls out some papers from his robe and is like, that's alright i'll just have lqr read this sheet music i stole from your boss's secret chamber...

and then su she panics and tries to stop him but lwj launches bichen at su she like a boss

The only unbelievable thing here is that su she somehow managed to block bichen and send it right back to lwj tbh 

(thus revealing he still had access to his own spiritual energy lol what a loser)

Lwj catches it gracefully and does a serious pose and side-eyes su she with all the venom he can muster lol

Ewww, su she just spat blood and disrupted the magic circle (bc he knows he’s been caught out)

lwj ofc tries to attack him again but su she is COWARD and teleports himself away

The puppets try to storm the place but wn is on them in an instant

Oh, lwj gets bichen ready to help but wwx grabs him by the arm to stop him

Wwx: it won’t work, don’t bother

Lwj doesn’t look happy about this but he lowers his sword anyway

sect leader yao starts talking but idc what he has to say

Wwx takes the time to spell out that ss is working for jgy and they’re both up to no good

Bc apparently all his detective-y exposition didn’t make it obvious enough

God, it must hurt wwx to be surrounded by idiots all the time...

wn is still fighting off puppets but he lets wwx know that he’s not gonna be able to hold them back for very much longer

The fact that he can hold them back by himself like this at all is amazing tbh

So lsz, being the protective badass sweetie pie that he is, immediately dives in after wn, offering to help!

Jin ling sees him do this and draws his sword to follow behind but jc stops him…

JC IS GIVING JL THE ZIDIAN

Lol Jc’s all like don't lose it! But jin ling doesn’t take it!! 

He actually shoves his way passed jc and throws himself into the throng of puppets with just his father’s sword

Jc is FURIOUS, he’s all, get back here you idiot!! 

Jin ling ofc doesn’t listen

Lsz: you should go back

JL: I won’t!

LSZ AND JL, I LOVE THEM SO. LOOK AT THOSE PRECIOUS BABIES BE BETTER PEOPLE THAN THE OLD FARTS IN THE CAVE

So now we have wn, lsz, and jl fighting off the puppets and protecting everyone

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WWX TOOK OFF HIS OUTER ROBE AND REVEALED LWJ'S UNDERTHINGS 

wwx slices his fingers on bichen to start writing on lwj's white inner robes that he’s shamelessly wearing and displaying to the world

lwj watches him VERY INTENTLY, LOL

WWX IS USING HIMSELF AS BAIT!! THE MARKINGS ARE GONNA LURE THE PUPPETS TO HIM!!!

AND HANGUANG JUN IS GOING TO BE FIGHTING OFF THE PUPPETS THAT GET NEAR HIM

BC THEY'RE SOULMATES AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER

AND THEY’RE A FANTASTIC TEAM OVERALL

Ljy tries to offer himself up as bait too but wwx is like nope! You all just stay out of our way

Ljy tries to protest but lwj cuts him off with a “listen to him.”

Then our boys share a brief look before throwing themselves into the fray

They look so cool here! Wwx lands steady on his feet with a solid thunk and brings his flute up to his (beautiful) lips

In contrast lwj slides in with sharp glide right next to wwx and gets battle-ready 

LOOK AT MY SUNSHINE BOY PLAY HIS FLUTE LIKE A BOSS

God he looks so good when he’s focused like this

LOOK AT LWJ FIGHT OFF HUNDREDS OF PUPPETS LIKE A BADASS

Lwj is twirling around wwx so fast, fighting back every puppet that comes his way

Wwx is dodging any that get too close but he’s also smoothly bobbing and weaving around lwj’s attacks

THEY WORK SO SEAMLESSLY TOGETHER I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

meanwhile wn helps clear the way for the rest of the cultivators to escape

cut to the cultivators swarmed around the exit of the burial mounds, yao is talking, yuck

sect leaders yao and ouyang are the worst. 

they're all, let's just leave and go to lotus pier to recover!!

jc is like, you want us to leave just like that?? (YOU COWARDLY BASTARDS, he doesn’t say but i know in my heart that he’s screaming that in his head) 

and the other guys are like, yeah, it's not like lwj and wwx are gonna survive that 

jl is like BULLSHIT OFC THEY'LL COME BACK (i love my bratty son)

And Jin Ling is Right BC LWJ IS COMING OUT OF THE WOODS WITH WWX LEANING AGAINST HIM

Wwx looks all weak and worn out. Like, he’s leaning against lwj heavily and lwj is watching him all worriedly

Wwx knees buckle and he goes down, but thankfully since lwj still has his hands on him, he doesn’t fall hard

LSZ RUNS TO THEM AND IS LIKE R U OK???

POOR BABY IS SO WORRIED AND UPSET!!

Lwj still has his eyes glued on wwx but you can tell that he’s starting to feel weary from the battle too

wwx is like we're okay, don’t worry, AND THEN PASSES OUT

which is the EXACT OPPOSITE of okay, omg

Lwj does this little gasp and twitches towards wwx but thankfully lsz is able to catch wwx before he hit the ground

Lsz is frantically calling his name but wwx is completely out of it and all we hear him say in response is a very weak “a-yuan”

At that, lwj’s eyes shift from wwx to lsz and he just stares at him bc here is his son, frantic over wwx, his soulmate, and his son's other father.

And there is his soulmate, murmuring their son’s name

AND NEITHER OF THEM KNOW WHO THEY ARE TO ONE ANOTHER

BC LWJ KEEPS NOT TELLING THEM FOR SOME REASON??:?

cut to some docks on the river

fucking yao and ouyang are running their mouths again

i hate those losers, i'm ignoring what they're saying

oooh, wn is approaching the juniors. lsz specifically. jl gets all on guard.

lol all the other juniors cower away but lsz stands his ground. 

aw ☹️ wn steps back when he sees the kids get all scared

now we're getting some info from lsz that's heavily implying that lsz is actually a-yuan. 

wn is so excited here bc he might have a surviving family member! he's so happy!! It’s adorable!!!

wn: can i call you a-yuan?

lsz: ofc! (WITH THE SWEETEST SMILE!)

wn: a-yuan, how have you all these years?

Lsz: i’ve been living well!

EXCUSE ME A MOMENT. I'M DEF NOT CRYING. JUST GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE. LIKE A TREE BRANCH OR EMOTIONS OR SMTH. IT'S FINE.

here we learn that lwj started taking care of lsz  since he was about 5yo, and he taught him to play the guqin

WN GIVES HIM A LITTLE PAPER BUTTERFLY

AND HE FLASHES BACK TO A HAND GIVING HIM A PAPER BUTTERFLY AND IT'S SO OBVIOUSLY LWJ'S HAND

wn is all teary-eyed and tries to reach out to touch lsz's face

but jl draws his sword and startles them

lsz gets between them but jl is all like step aside, this is none of your bsns

lsz: jin ling, put your sword away first

jl: get away! *shoves lsz*

He regrets it IMMEDIATELY if the way his jerked forwards to, idk, grab him is anything to go by.

He holds himself back tho bc he’s cursed with pride and general awkwardness towards his crush like his father before him

lol everyone rushes to catch lsz bc lsz is a sweetie-pie and everyone loves him

wn is all it's okay if you're mad at me, i won't fight you but don't hurt lsz!

oyzz: he was caring for you! how could you push him and ignore his kindness?

omg oyzz really does have a sensitive soul. what a sweet boy.

then someone mutters smth like oh, he's so ill-bred and ofc jl hears it

jl: right! i'm just that awful, so what?

now we cut to lwj and wwx who are on one of the boats! 

lwj has his guqin out and is playing magic music for wwx who's got his eyes closed and eyebrows are all pinched together

WWX IS SO BEAUTIFUL, EVEN WHEN HE'S OBVIOUSLY EXHAUSTED AND IN PAIN

lwj can hear the juniors bickering and wwx starts fussing in his sleep muttering jin ling jin ling

lwj: wei ying

and wwx startles awake

wwx: lan zhan, what happened?

lwj: you passed out

wwx: not me. i mean, jin ling?

ofc wwx doesn't care what happened to him, ofc he only cares about what happened to his nephew

lwj doesn't answer but they both hear the bickering on the docks

we cut back to the juniors

jl is like, yeah i'm awful but you can't discipline me!!

wwx: what is going on?

and we watch wwx exit the boat and make his way down the dock to where the juniors are

and i was thoroughly distracted by his slim waist in those swirling black robes and had to rewind to watch it again

jin ling looks like he's about to cry and he has wn at sword point and wwx is all gently telling jin ling to put his sword down

jl: i won't!

wwx: jin ling!

jl: no!

and then he has a meltdown. he's all like, so i'm acting childish, satisfied? AND MY POOR BRATTY SON STARTS SOBBING HIS LITTLE HEART OUT CLUTCHING HIS SWORD 

jl: this is my father's sword, i won't put it down!

AND NOBODY IS GOING TO HIM. NOBODY GETS NEAR HIM OR TRIES TO HUG HIM AS HE CRIES WITH HIS WHOLE BODY, MY POOR LITTLE BOY

SOMEBODY GIVE THIS KID SOME GODDAMN AFFECTION ALREADY

LIKE, EVEN A PAT ON THE SHOULDER OR SOMETHING. ANYTHING!!

all the juniors look down awkwardly but wwx swallows back tears bc he knows that he's partially responsible for the way jin ling hurts rn. even lwj looks sympathetic

(oh, finally remembered that this is a kid in pain, huh, lwj?)

jc hears his nephew crying and comes out of his own boat

jc: a-ling! why are you crying? come here.

and jl goes running to him

and it's kind of sweet how he does it?? idk. 

the lack of hesitation indicates that he sees jc as a safe person to run to and it's sweet, i guess.

jl starts scrubbing his face in his sleeve to get rid of the tears

jc: what's wrong? who made you cry?

i wouldn't say he asks this tenderly but his voice is softer and not nearly as sharp as it usually is when he talks to people

and you KNOW he’s ready and willing to rain hellfire on whoever made his nephew cry

jl doesn't answer but jc glares down the dock where everyone is standing

LOL EVERYONE LOOKS DOWN 

THE JUNIORS, WWX, WN

THEY ALL AVOID JC'S GAZE AND HAVE THE GUILTIEST LOOKS ON THEIR FACES

lwj doesn't look away tho and his face is in its usual neutral state 

but we all know how lwj and jc's relationship is so this is not surprising

then yao has to open his mouth again but what he says doesn't matter, it's how the juniors react that matters

oyzz is all like why are you using that tone? if wwx wanted to hurt us, we wouldn't have made it this far, right?

lsz: oyzz is right!

lol oyzz does this little chin thrust like heck yeah i'm right

LOL jc is like, sect leader ouyang, the mouthy kid is yours, isn't he? he's so good at talking 

I LOVE WHEN JC GETS LIKE THIS. 

HE SAYS IT SO MILDLY AND OUYANG LOOKS PAINED AS HELL

NHS SMIRKS IN THE BACKGROUND

IT'S GREAT

ouyang: zizhen, come here to your father

oyzz: father, you said i shouldn't disturb you

and his dad's all like, get over here right now and oyzz ducks behind lsz and says I WON'T

LOVE THAT KID LOL

his dad proceeds to scold him and nhs is giggling in the background, i LOVE it

some jiang disciple goes up to jc to let him know they're ready to set off to lotus pier

Jc to wwx: you're barefaced enough to go back there?

wwx looks stricken

lwj is watching his face closely, concerned bc his soulmate is hurting (again) bc of jc (again).

we make it to lotus pier by nightfall

Side note to mention that the scenery and music as they travel down the river to lotus pier is really beautiful

Everybody files in but jc stops in front of our boys and wn and doesn't budge until wn says he'll stay behind. 

and even then he doesn't say our boys can come in, he just turns around and walks off

AWWWWWW

LSZ TELLS WN HE'S GOING TO STAY WITH HIM AND KEEP HIM COMPANY

WN IS SO SURPRISED AND HAPPY

AND OUR BOYS ARE WATCHING THIS HAPPEN

WWX IS ALL WIDE-EYED

He makes a move like he's going to join them and lwj stops him

lwj: let them be.

you know lwj, this would be a perfect time TO TELL WWX THAT LSZ IS HIS KID, HIS LITTLE A-YUAN.

but no, instead he just gazes at him soulfully

which, okay, i'm never gonna say no to soulful gazes BUT YOU CAN MULTITASK, CAN'T YOU??

LWJ, YOU CAN LOOK AT HIM WITH YOUR WHOLE  HEART IN YOUR EYES AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME.

Oh, lwj and wwx are at the gates of lotus pier and wwx looks at the sign above the gates 

his eyes get all red-rimmed and you can see his throat bob 

BC HE'S HURTING. 

BC THIS WAS HIS HOME WHERE HIS SISTER AND BROTHER LIVED AND LOVED HIM AND NOW HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY OF THAT

god the way lwj looks at him whenever these moments pop up...he knows exactly when wwx starts hurting inside and he keeps his eyes trained on him the entire time until wwx indicates he's ready to keep moving

we cut to a little moment between lsz and wn where lsz tells us how lwj raised him with a bunch of bunnies and it's adorable

We cut to sword hall where all the cultivators are gathered

jc gets called away and as he's going to tend to whatever it is he sees wwx try to go towards swords hall and glares at him

wwx literally had one foot over the threshold and he awkwardly drags it back out at jc's glare

poor wwx. he just looks awkward all over.

like, he looks down and away and gets kinda fidgety. can't meet jc's eyes. BUT HE STILL MAKES IT LOOK SO PRETTY

lwj on the other hand stares right back at jc, lol, to emphasize I'M NOT INTIMIDATED BY YOU EVEN IF THIS IS YOUR HOME I'M IN RN.

and only after that's, like, telepathically communicated or smth do his eyes flicker over to wwx to see how he's doing.

after jc stalks off, wwx does that cute little nose tap thing he does

wwx: lan zhan, sit down~

and he indicates the stoop with a playful smile

lwj looks at the stoop for like half a second before walking around wwx like NOPE, sitting on stoops is not a thing that hanguang jun does

wwx's mouth curls into a little scowl like fine, be that way.

he sits down on the stoop himself while lwj leans on the pillar next to it, eyes closed and arms crossed and basically looking like a very beautiful and elegant statute

LOLOLOLOL

WWX GOES TO SPRAWL BACK ONTO THE STOOP, RESTING ON ELBOWS 

AND LWJ, WITH HIS EYES STILL CLOSED SAYS: No misbehavior.

HE KNOWS WEI YING SO WELL

wwx looks up at him and pouts but still straightens up so he's sitting properly

wwx starts to sulk and complain about how jc's been gone for so long when jc shows up with a couple of ladies following him

jc pauses to look at our boys and says "come on in" shortly and turns on his heel to enter swords hall

Lol wwx turns to look at lwj with a big smile on his face bc hey, look at that! jc invited them in!!

wwx and lwj just loiter awkwardly near the entrance of sword hall

now we're gonna get a whole bunch of exposition that we don't care much about

blah blah jgy arranged for jgs to die surrounded by prostitutes blah blah

blah blah jgy knowingly married his half-sister blah blah

and throughout all this exposition, wwx is the only one who asks questions and looks for more details.

the rest of them are all willing to take everything at face value which really just explains everything about how they all ended up in this mess, tbh

we also keep getting reaction shots from jin ling and it makes me sad. 

he does the death grip on his sword, and looks shocked and confused at every revelation, poor boy.

and the episode ends as the crowd starts to get riled up over all this brand new information

Which honestly is a relief bc things were getting WAY TOO PLOTTY for my tastes

Return to Masterpost

[betelgeusing]

I’m caught up on the Stand here r some opinions (OBVIOUSLY spoilers thru episode 6)

good:

Glen Bateman, Tom Cullen, Nick Andros, Larry Underwood casting/rewrites/adjustments

(Jovan Adepo deserves full credit for me not only tolerating Larry but actually liking him most of the time cause hoo boy I hated his guts in the book)(also!!! he played Teenager Michael Murphy in The Leftovers and it’s TRIPPING me out because he is OLDER than me and I never would have guessed it watching that show!!!)

(also it’s SO nice to see Brad Henke playing a teddy bear of a guy bc he is shaped like a friend but I’ve literally only ever seen him play absolute monsters)(I luv Tom Cullen)

dayna jurgens best character in the book best character in the series

I wasn’t sure about Owen Teague as Harold bc book Harold is overweight and pimply and kind of greasy and off-putting and Owen is skin and bones and good-looking but he projects creepy and sus very well. he is doing my boy Justice

speaking of, odessa young REALLY sells "girl stuck with a creepy guy who has an unrequited crush on her" like you can feel the discomfort and borderline contempt streaming from her pores

appreciated the rewrites of Rita to make her whole deal not horribly sexist and weird (same goes for most of the women tbh). Heather Graham did great

updating it to 2020ish works well. Glen vaping all the time = legendary

they did a good job of trimming and conflating some of the stuff so the story stays focused. things they cut MOSTLY weren't super important

alex skarsgård scissors stab neck smeared in blood sexy

J! K! Simmons! CAMEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

meh:

james marsden is fine (actually better than I expected in this) but he always fails to excite me. gary sinise in the OG miniseries was a better vibe for Stu and they should've gone for someone with more of the everyman energy. Marsden looks like a catalog model and doesn't seem to be able to bring an observable personality to his roles (sorry man)(on a more positive note this is why he was a perfect Scott Summers)

Whoopi Goldberg is a fine actress and apparently in contrast to a lot of critics I’m actually fine with her casting but mother abigail is SUPER under-used and way less developed than she should be-- we know literally nothing about her outside of her occasional appearance to scold and/or guide and that lack of personhood plays heavily into into the “magical negro” trope which. ugh. at least in the book she had a ton of backstory and family and stuff to do outside of “be the magical prophet for everybody else”

I love the whole Skarsgard family and am always happy to see one of them. that said, Alex lacks Randall's bouncy gleeful chaos energy and sheer malevolence. also he whispers all the time and I'm not sure what that choice is all about (no lbr that’s just an askars acting habit and outside of Eric from True Blood it’s not a great one)

bad:

not enough dayna screen time

pacing is weird and makes it really hard to get invested. starting at the free zone in Boulder and only jumping back to how they actually started/how they GOT to Boulder in pieces every episode feels really disruptive. not that it’s hard to keep track of, but it’s hard to really feel anything for anyone with such a disjointed narrative. the trip to Boulder is half the novel and it’s super important for establishing character dynamics, rivalries, motivations and personalities and if you meet these people mid-story after their arc is half finished and only get fragments of the VERY IMPORTANT ESTABLISHING STORY every now and again it feels like being robbed of setup and then payoff? idk. I hate it. I think they should have started at the beginning and gone thru chronologically, the story works way better that way

for that matter, playing all coy and mysterious with Randall and only showing Vegas for the first time in episode 5?? when the book has us there every step of the way? I don’t need a 1:1 adaptation but I do think following Vegas developments is super helpful re: understanding stakes and how much of a threat your enemy is, and with so little focus ON the enemy, it’s just not scary?

SPEAKING of Vegas what the actual hell. apologies for going “but in the book!!!” so many times but literally in the book Vegas would be a very appealing prospect for just about anyone. there’s electricity, there are supplies, there’s peace, there’s structure and organization. iirc Dayna is even tripped out on her recon mission because she makes friends with people and is struck by how normal and decent everyone seems? WELL this adaptation just threw that out the window and just went full fledged hedonistic sin bin full of just deeply unpleasant people that are more caricatures than characters. everyone there sucks turds. lacks any kind of depth. HUGE swing and a miss bc it hits so much better if you’re like “these are largely decent people lured in by the promise of stability, making moral compromises because they’re scared and trying to survive and Randall’s leadership is a huge temptation” vs “every single person here would roofie my drink and not feel a twinge of conscience about it”

every single choice made with regards to Nadine. badly miscast, robbed of the kickass witch’s streak aesthetic, set up as a consummate villain from the beginning (her constant struggles with her fate are totally omitted till it’s way too late for them to be in any way believable), relationship with Larry is basically nonexistent, and the planchette incident from her childhood is revealed much too early so it’s devoid of any real sense of horror (portrayed as a catalyst for lifelong villainy rather than a late-in-story revelation that she was set on a path against her will). done right she’s complicated and sympathetic at least until her complete heel-turn, in this series she’s just 2d and dull

randall beating bobby terry to death instead of ripping him apart with TEETH was a stupid change made to spite me personally. I mean can you IMAGINE how good that scene could have been

[shijiujun]

[起承] Chris’ Mini Concert in Taipei 20191222 - Summary

As promised, the concert summary!! 

First, let’s look at this gorgeous background and what Chris wore in his first song - Totally magical my god and GALAXY THEMED!!! Okay it was actually purple themed because he likes the colour and a lot of fans actually turned up in purple things. 

Being the dumbass that I was, I did not do that because I didn’t even THINK OF IT HONESTLY so in my haste i had to go buy some purple cap that is really cute (unicorn-themed!) and yes turned up for the concert.

I went with a lovely new friend this time along with two other friends (all of who I met on Tumblr!!) and when we first reached the venue, there were so many other fans there already as usual giving out freebies - I have completed a set of five plastic fans with Chris and Jake faces printed on it, and now I have three plastic sheet 2020 calendars with Chris’ lovely face on it so amen. A lanyard also, and ooooh like they printed fake passenger tickets with chris’ face on it HAHA

Venue/Seating: 20 Rows, 20 Seats, 10 on each side with a row cutting down the middle and then a stage - In terms of venue I think it was a pretty cozy venue, definitely smaller than the venue for the Trapped Taipei and Taichung fanmeets so everyone got a much better view. This is the venue they used for the first History Party

I was seated in the 4th row, which was farkinggggg close. Ann and Elle were seated in the 2nd row, and we were technically all in the same area - BEST

So after we were seated, suddenly there was a lot of commotion from the fans, and that’s when we realised that ANDY AND KENNY WALKED IN!!! They came in with caps and face masks on, and they sat themselves in the first row on the right section - I’d like to mention that seated in the same row were also Chris’ parents, his brother (real or like bro I haven’t figured out yet), Diane and Director Lee from Trapped (ahhhh Diane is farking pretty) and yes, Jake was not there, BUT BUT BUT I do believe he was invited, but he’s just busy with work. Jake and Zhang Guang Chen (the guy who plays Andy in Trapped) both liked Chris’ concert photo on Instagram!!

Photos weren’t allowed, and they were damn fucking strict about this which I honestly DONT UNDERSTAND but am not surprised at - It’s like he’s thanking his fans for turning up and he’s really touched and everything and all fans want to do is have some really nice photos of him you know CRIES IN A CORNER - So it was like the Trapped fanmeet media mafia again, people standing at the sides watching and making sure you dont take photos

BUT BUT BUT in the first two songs they couldn’t control us all because we were ALL taking photos, which is why I have photos from the first two songs but NOWHERE ELSE, but tbh the first song’s visuals were so beautiful that those were all I needed for photos, seriously - Which is nice because I rented a cam for this and I REALLY WOULD HAVE CRIED IF I WALKED AWAY WITH NO PHOTOS

He sang a few Chinese ballads, and then he went to change clothes, and THEN HE TURNED UP IN THIS SHIRT AND DANCED TO THE WEEKND’S CAN’T FEEL MY FACE

At the beginning of the concert he told everyone that he wasn’t going to cry and we all called bullshit on that and hahaha lo and behold he cried halfway through and then at the end A LOT

Xiao Yi hosted it again!!! My god, I love Xiao Yi so much, he’s honestly the best and he’s way more handsome in person than he is on Instagram HAHAHA and I love how close he is to the Trapped boys

I do have more photos of this but they’re all half blur because I was trying to dodge the photo police, but hip thrusting moves? Check. Skin reveal? Four holes in his shirt, CHECK.

Anyway, the entire show was filled with like crazy good dance numbers and Chris sang songs such as A Whole New World, and also two of his self-composed songs!! I can’t remember what the first song was called but he did sing this at the Taichung fanmeet, and the second song is called 「不想分開」which means ‘Don’t Want To Separate From/Leave Each Other’ and they’re pretty good 

Chris said that HE MIGHT have some album/single release activity next year and asked us to look forward to Jan 2020 I don’t know what to expect tbh HAHAHAHA

And Chris also sang Della’s song from Trapped - and halfway through the song DELLA APPEARED AND STARTED SINGING WITH HIM!! And he was so touched that he started to cry (as always, the crybaby), then the audience and Xiao Yi got Della and Chris to duet one of Della’s other more popular songs, and then SHE WAS THE BEST BECAUSE SHE led Chris down the stage and into the crowd and got him to touch everyone’s hands (okay not everyone, but whoever who could reach him) - Unfortunately I was literally two arms length away from him, so I didn’t even try reaching out for him but as always he came real close, and I got to witness that face up close for the fifth time this year, thank you god and all the higher powers above and buddha for giving me this excellent year

And everytime Xiao Yi and Chris asked questions to the audience Kenny would be like this absolute fanboy yelling from his seat - Gotta love the friendship between them

Xiao Yi printed like photos of him and Chris and stuck it on chocolate bars and gave them out to the audience for like question and answer LMAOOOO funniest shit ever - So XY asked how much do we love Chris, and the first fan was like ‘I left my kid at home to come and watch Chris’ and then another one was like ‘I came here on a TOUR and now I have left my tour group secretly for a few hours so I can come attend this’ LMAOOOO

And CHRIS’ attire was fucking on point that day, all his outfits were like fucking A+++++++++ like sexy and handsome and WOOOHOOO

Okay and now storytime - The one SHITTY thing that happened during the concert:

So there was this older lady seated in the first row, and in the beginning she kept getting up to talk to the staff and I didn’t think much of it - You know maybe she’s a hardcore fan or something and she knows the staff and has some special connections or whatever

And then, LITERALLY HALFWAY THROUGH A SONG, she stands up and she starts shouting. I’m not joking, she starts fucking shouting and pointing at like some fans in the second row saying, “Why is it they can take photos but I can’t?! You guys are too much!!!”

Mind you all, Chris is literally PERFORMING and she’s making a scene

So the staff get her to sit down, and then we think it’s the end of it right, but no she proceeds to yell at shout the same thing across like three fucking songs, and then at one point she stands up and tries to get attention from the staff to come and catch another fan seated behind her because she’s taking photos 

In the end no one else in the vicinity dared to take photos or whatever and she was still being a bitch and yelling - And the dumb thing is that she wasn’t asked to leave. This crazy woman in the first row making a scene and she’s not being asked to leave wtf

And then she just keeps shouting throughout the entire concert, and at two instances Xiao Yi had to say “Hey guys, everyone, be good okay? Everyone, please be good”

Okay and then some point in between crazy lady brings out a decanter of like whiskey and chugs it down - Like so wild

So okay, she’s sitting in the first row, and it doesn’t take a genius to know that the risk of sitting in the first row or at the sides is that staff can easily get to you to ask you to not take photos - and she’s in the “because I can’t have it NO ONE ELSE CAN” mode, which is like... okay that’s one thing, but the other part is-

CHRIS IS LITERALLY PERFORMING WHY WOULD U CAUSE A SCENE FOR HIM?!!!

And she was just plain fucking rude she was honestly yelling and scolding like other fans, and I feel like that she doesn’t have a right to do that

Around me were ALL the major Chris fanclub/fanaccount fans and they were all like wtf is wrong with her? 

Basically she was such a disruption and idk why she wasn’t asked to leave

Worst of all, in his every very last song, Chris actually sang half a verse to her directly, and IDK if he knows her, or maybe heard that she was being very enthusiastic, or didn’t know that she was being a crazy bitch, in any case, Chris effectively rewarded her bad behaviour

A lot of the fans were really upset about that, because this woman fucked up the entire experience for us (just imagine someone yelling like two rows in front of you and shouting and pointing throughout the whole like 45 minutes) and Chris basically signalled to her that it’s okay to be a nuisance to everyone else, even if it was done accidentally

Otherwise, A+ concert!!! So happy to be in Taipei again and seeing the boys!!!!! And Lisley and Kana were both there as well, and i have to say I really, really love Diane <3333

Concert was a little bit short imo but the tickets weren’t expensive so it’s alright. No fan benefits this time HAHAHA

[tamgerines]

KH3 First Impression and Complete Thoughts

BACKGROUND: i've played kh1, com, kh2, bbs, 2.8, and a bit of khux. i've watched coded and 3d on yt, so i know the story relatively well. this is an impression of my first playthrough. i did my run on standard mode and watched the secret ending on yt. i mostly did this for story, so this will have my initial impressions based on my run that will not cover extra content like the phone mini games and cooking.  my opinions are subjected to change if i ever do any later playthroughs. pls, feel free to disagree w/ me.

!!! WARNING: THERE WILL BE A LOT OF STORY SPOILERS!!!

AUDIO: 

Music: utada is queen!!! that opening song!!! also i kept noticing how lit the songs are in each world esp frozen???  and aqua's. worth a replay just for the soundtrack alone.

Voice Acting: everyone sounded great for the most part. sora’s va have certainly improved and sounds less strained. his vanitas voice has suffered significantly though lolololol. i think i read that someone called it a wannabe dark knight voice? the organization sounded incredible, w/ my fav being xemnas, marluxia, and larxene. the disney and pixar va’s are incredible w/ my fav probably being randall in monster’s inc. 

some ppl did not get vas like xaldin and laxeaus. and phil in hercules. which were all very disappointing bc in the scenes that they were in, they would just stand around woodenly, and it’s very noticeable. 

VISUALS: 

mostly a+. environments are beautiful. water and frost textures are amazing!!! you can really feel that waterga and blizzaga. fur textures in monster's inc. could use some work. little details like the sails moving in potc rly make the worlds come alive. this could be a me prob, but environments in certain worlds make it very hard to see map markers, treasure chests, and disney emblems (which are supposed to be hard to find, but still). mostly in tangled.

strangely enough, this is the only game where i prefer in game graphics to cgi. it's already highly expressive and there's something creepy and uncanny about the cgi esp in the final fight. and it's mostly bc sora's thin chapped lips throughout the entire game suddenly becomes full.

DESIGNS: 

i don't love everyone's outfit or sora's outfit changes in this game besides toy story. this is something i alrdy knew going in, but i've always felt like the outfits in kh1 and 2 rly suited each of the character's personalities. and this is not just destiny trio but even chars like roxas, the twilight town kids and the hollow bastion crew. the move towards a uniformed look makes no sense to me like is it to unify the key bearers as one force against the organization? i could understand why destiny trio was wearing plaid but why the twilight town kids also? by the end of the game, almost everyone was wearing black and it's just boring to me. like there's a right way to do uniform while retaining characters' individual looks, and that's the wayfinder trio in bbs. in this game, not so much.

an aside, but i'm sort of disappointed in the hud moving to 3d too. the 2d portraits have always been part of kh so it's kinda a bum to see it go away.

i don't love the lvl designs but it might also be due to a narrative and pacing issue that i'll expand on. any case, vertical maps are a challenge to figure out. i don't consider myself bad at directions but there are so many moments, esp in hercules and tangled where i would be like where the heck do i go next (and i have the map) only for me to look up and find a shotlock teleport point (and this isn't so much a thing that heightens the difficulty but a time waster).

lvls and bosses in previous kh games have always been known for their gimmicks and mechanics, but in this game particularly i found it to be more tedious? and this mostly applies to frozen: who the fuck designed frozen? who the fuck thought it's a good lvl design to have sora climb a mountain, get kick off it twice, and climb it again as good lvl design? who?

all the disney bosses started blending together for me bc they're literally all giant monsters and rly easy. i think the mistake here is the fact that the disney worlds are put back to back whereas in kh1/2/bbs you have the interruption of original worlds and an actually playable important parts to the main story, in this game all the important storyline in radiant garden are locked in cutscenes interspersed throughout the game between finishing disney worlds.

a lot of ppl might disagree w this, but i miss the cinematic reaction commands and limit attacks. we still have them but i find them to be on a much smaller scale in the form of drive finishers and situation commands, but i find them to be less imaginative in kh3 in order to be less """"disruptive""" to the gameplay. i've always found cinematics charming in previous games as a way to show sora interacting with his party members during combat. little things like beast putting a hand on sora's shoulder, aladdin leaning on him, or riku bumping his fist have a way of making the friendships he forms feel organic. outside of link commands/ summons, in this game, he........just throws a lot of ppl around or is thrown around?

GAMEPLAY:

already sort of went through parts of it in the previous section, but overall combat was smooth. i love how mobile sora is in this game. the improvement to his running speed and addition of all the mobile skills like dodge roll, super slide, flow motion, blizzard skating, etc. makes combat feel fast paced and juking so easy.

magic is super improved on ever since 2.8 and feels satisfying to use esp bc i feel like ur given a lot more mp now and with the ability to save the last of your mana for cure, it feels like you're not always budgeting your magic.

underwater combat was smoother than i expected.

it's a mistake putting almost all the commands on the triangle button. there's so much options you can do in combat and you'd mean to activate one thing, but then an attraction flow comes out and you just want to die. it gets a bit easier as i went on and got more used to the controls, but in general, i still think it's a mistake to not to have an ability or something to disable certain features like in kh2 fm.

gummy ships continue to be a thing. why. i don’t like how i have to turn the camera myself now ;;;. 

i'm not a speedrunner or anything, so i can't say too much else about fighting. the physical combos to me did feel like he was spinning a bit too much tho.

STORY: oh, fucking boy.

i'm not mad, i'm not disappointed, and i'm not even surprised. i already knew that post bbs, kh has already departed far from the franchise i loved as a kid and still today, at least story wise. but let's walk through it.

Disney Worlds: the disney worlds was literally a retelling of their movies. and unlike in kh2 and bbs, where visits to disney worlds were split into two parts, with the first part following the disney story and the second part being heavily tied to the main kh story and thus having original content, the disney worlds in kh3 only get one long visit. and the integration of kh into disney was just done so poorly. remember how kh villains used to kidnap princesses? remember how they used to actually conspire to take disney characters' hearts and turn them dark? remember, you know, when they were still evil and actually interfered with the worlds? in almost every world in kh3, an org member just comes says vague menacing things to sora, calls him stupid, and then leaves. yeah. and oh, maleficent and pete looks for a black box only to not find it, and leaves. AND THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE FOR THE REST OF THE GAME.

the pixar worlds + bh6 were the only ones with any actual new content and they feel so fresh. i esp loveeeeeeeed toy story omg. the script was so good, funny, and heartwarming. the pixar consultants should have helped kh all the way tbh.

like previous games, there's an attempt for each disney world to thematically tie into the main kh story. in this game, it was as heavy handed as ever, probably even more so. 

Original Worlds: onto the meat of kh, the main story was rushed up until the end. you have a slew of disney worlds, then bam, they slam you with all the human bosses and the important story stuff. 

the ‘awakening’ of roxas, xion, and ventus were very rushed. you literally have one moment they’re no there then two seconds of white screen and all of a sudden they’re there. 

there’s a shit ton of shoehorned character redemption arcs: vexen, demyx, saix, eraqus, xehanort, xemnas, ansem. all were done either offscreen or by some miracle, they reached an epiphany after sora beat his keyblade into their heads. 

the only death scene that i actually liked, that a lot of ppl complained about, was vanitas bc yes, although i thought his character had so much potential, it was at least a consistent and sympathetic death. bless him, born a villain die a villain. same with xemnas bc i loved his last speech. 

xehanort was a shitty villain through and through. no one understood his motivation; it’s like nomura took a page from thanos’ guide of how to write villains, gave him some stupid ass goal to have a keyblade war to restart the world, and then just have him...get everything he wanted? his estranged friend comes back in ghost form for whatever reason and is just like ok we’re cool man even tho u took my student and indirectly murdered me and then gets taken up to heart heaven, like O K. and like what’s the most frustrating is that it’s implied they’re keeping him as a villain??? bc fucking ymx is like ooohh imma just go back to my own time via time travel. it’s too late for u sora hurdur. 

and the younger members of the organization, the ones that we do know were in khux. we don’t get to know how they became nobodies and they don’t get a redemption??? really???  

you can tell they tried, TRIED, hard to give everyone closure. and they miserably failed to close plot points. they actually opened more. who the fuck is the unnamed girl in lea and isa’s storyline? why the fuck did you mention her if you were going to play the pronoun game and not name her??? what the fuck was in the black box??? why are they looking for it when no one know what’s in it??? why the fuck was repliku inside of riku the whole fucking time??? why have org members be norted if they can still have agency and choose to betray xehanort??? why the fuck was BOTH sora and riku in different worlds in the secret ending????? ? ? ? 

and tho i’m very glad that wayfinder and sea salt trios get their happy ending, the destiny trio had their characters assassinated. kairi was teased to become an independent character of her own and fight alongside sora, only to get shafted to become a damsel in distress, again, literally replaced by xion in one of the last battles, AND referred to as ‘motivation’ for sora by xehanort lol. sora, the guy who’s always going my friends are my power, ONLY grieves about losing kairi, accrediting all of his strength ONLY TO HER. riku, who spent the first game desperately trying to get kairi’s heart back, and who protected her from saix in the second, suddenly doesn’t give a shit about her and is just there as sora’s moral support. it’s so frustrating that nomura has the audacity to say that this series is primarily about friendship and then pull this shit lol. it’s transparent. 

CONCLUSION: 

i think for me, the quintessential kh trilogy has always been kh1, com, and kh2. as far as i’m concerned, the story should have ended there for destiny trio. and it’s like nomura said, how he feels more sympathetic towards villains now, i think nomura’s ideas have outgrown his main character. 

sora’s journey worked in 1, com, and 2 because he had an overarching goal to find kairi and riku and return home. not everyone has to understand heartless vs. nobodies or dark vs. light but at least, anyone can understand the desperation of saving your friends. when that framework is taken away, sora’s goals and motivations become unclear; he’s a kid and has little reason to be caught up in xehanort’s plans, the keyblade war, or the organization’s agendas. and his failure to grow with the increasing complexity of the plot, to investigate for himself the bigger picture or even come into a similar realization of his own darkness/ balance like riku, makes him unfit; he’s a reactionary character instead of an active one. that’s why this game, being experienced from his point of view, felt mostly like a catch up to speed for sora and a set up to nomura’s next big thing instead of a genuine ending.  i honestly don’t think nomura knows what to do with him and with kingdom hearts anymore. 

kh3 is a game wrapped in nostalgia and promised something bigger than it could fulfill. and aside from better graphics and improved gameplay, the story wasn’t worth the wait. 

[mippippippi]

@Reginamea SQ SUPERNOVA 2 ARTIST INTERVIEW

Interview with @reginamea and their work for At the doorway again

What is your favorite medium to work with?

i work exclusively in photoshop

How do you choose the story? Do you look for something in particular, like a visual, for your art or is your choice based on the story itself ?

my choice is definitely always based on the story. i don't go looking for anything in particular, rather i'm looking for something to strike my fancy so to speak. i'm open to everything, any genre, au's, non-magic, i don't care as long as i find it compelling. this snippet in particular really spoke to me and i got lucky enough to be paired with helvetica brown

What did the story make you see that you decided to create this particular piece? Was it a particular feeling/mood or scene?

usually i read the entire story and a few scenes will stick out that make me go "ah, that might make good art." i might end up drawing from several of these scenes and making a composite or i might create a whole scene in photoshop, depending on whether i'm making cover art or more pieces beyond that. for cover art, i usually feel like a composite of scenes is best to work as sort of a visual summary of the story. that's what i did for this story. i felt it was essential to include henry and not just emma and regina. plus there was a very striking quote about halfway through the story about the heart being like a house with shaky foundations and that just struck a chord with me that i felt it very appropriate to make that image the center of the cover art.

Do you have any particular steps when you are making art?

i don't necessarily have a fixed order of steps but the first thing i usually do when starting a new project is creating a new folder and saving all the potentially usable screencaps and textures in it. it just makes it easier to work continuously if i don't have to click through a whole bunch of folders the entire time. after that, i create a blank canvas and go from here, but it's a lot of creating and deleting and searching for other caps/textures, rinse and repeat and rinse and repeat tbh. i also leave the title for last.

What is your preferred working atmosphere? Do you have a certain ritual? (e.g. : Like listening to a particular song/album or do you prefer silence, or do you prefer working at night) What did you do to get yourself in the creative mood?

i do prefer working at night, or rather in the evening when it's beginning to turn dark and then way into the night. if the author has included any particular songs, i definitely listen to them to get into the mood, but if not i might just put on some coffee house tunes or relaxing white noise in the background, nothing too distracting because i'm the most easily distracted person on this planet.

What is the most difficult part of doing art for a written text? What are challenges you face in your work process?

the composition is usually the trickiest part. as soon as i have an image in my head, i wanna come as close to that as possible. i'm a bit of a perfectionist like that. working on details is easier than getting the overall composition just right so that is definitely always a challenge. also the font and placement of the title, i wanna say that usually takes me the longest because it always kind of feels disruptive and so the title often goes through dozens of variations before i'm finally happy with it.

Tell us something about yourself (e.g. your darkest secrets are preferable but a funny fact will do too) ?

i wish i had dark secrets to share but alas my life is boring so let me just throw in some fun facts: i love horror films and i have ten tattoos, three of which are ouat related

[satirical-sade]

1. Are you solitary or in a coven? solitary forever


2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other? a witch, unless i've never met you, then i'm pagan


3. What is your zodiac sign? pisces


4. Do you have a Patron God/dess? not really no


5. Do you work with a Pantheon? nope


6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or any other kind of divination? tarot


7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any) blessed thistle!


8. How would you define your craft? low spoon spirit work


9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do? no, i don't because i'm devoutly wiccan so i follow pretty much every wiccan rule, but to each their own, it might bite you in the ass, it might not, who knows


10. How long have you been practicing? 1ish year


11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars? yes! my doggo bryant


12. Do you believe in Karma or Reincarnation? only the three fold law, and no


13. Do you have a magical name? no, i tend to use eren even though my name is michael


14. Are you “out of the broom closet”? ya


15. What was the last spell you performed? i enchanted my necklace


16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable? somewhat


17. Do you write your own spells? yes because let's be real not all spells are gonna work for what you need


18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up? yes, and it depends on what happening that day


19. Do you worship nature? no i believe all souls are equal unless proven otherwise so


20. What is your favorite gemstone? any goldstone


21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work? no, unless i happen to find a random feather or bone out in nature because that's the only way i know it was done without harming anybody


22. Do you have an altar? yes


23. What is your preferred element? out of the four, water, out of the five, soul


24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist? not at all, but i want to be


25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch? i'm a wannabe psychic but idk how that's gonna end


26. What got you interested in witchcraft? one of my ex girlfriends


27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch? no


28. Have you ever used ouija? no


29. Do you consider yourself a psychic? okay so i'm not naturally gifted but i am trying to train


30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it? maybe? he's a river elf if i do have one


31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started? SPIRITS ARE REAL


32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite? yes and samhain


33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children? i would tell them about a lot of religions but i wouldn't force them to


34. Do you meditate? sometimes


35. What is your favorite season? winter


36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform? anything involving spirits


37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life? i don't know how to explain it but i burn sage and stuff


38. What is your favorite witchy movie? not a movie but supernatural 😂


39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why? i don't really have a favorite but i do remember one that taught me how to organize my bos but i don't have it anymore


40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not. a protection spell, successful


41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you? okay, my friend's spirit companion went through me (he's a trickster btw) to get to my friend and as a parting gift, he left about 20 random spirits at my house, one of which is violent


42. What is your favourite type of candle to use? i'm not very picky about my candles


43. What is your favorite witchy tool? don't have one


44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools? nope


45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits? pretty much all my work is with spirits


46. Do you practice color magic? nope


47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind? nope


48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies? at a metaphysical shop near my house


49. Do you believe in predestination or fate? i believe in fate but i also believe that fate is not set in stone, like current fate may say i'm going to have a wonderful happy life with three kids, i could grow up and have zero, destiny is a thing but it's not set


50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice? i talk to random spirits


51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences? my computer makes beeps when it's unplugged and off, even when the battery is out of it


52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve? SPIRITS MAKING MY LAPTOP BEEP


53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent? yes and sage


54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind? i do not, but i should


55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster? haven’t had one yet thank the gods


56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success? having a spirit companion


57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about? spirits tbh


58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too? yes but i really don't understand being a christian witch, because it's against the ten commandments


59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work? insecure and unsure but not scared


60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain? not really


61. What is something witch related that you want right now? this isn't physical but i would like some clairaudience


62. What is your rune of choice? don’t have one


63. What is your tarot card of choice? ace of cups


64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite? nope


65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses? no


66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public? i always wear my pentacle necklace


67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch? no


68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines? no


69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft? yes


70. What are your favorite things about being a witch? just having this magical energy about, other pagans can usually tell i’m pagan even without showing the my necklace or tell the
71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch? judgement also i never have the energy


72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band? are there actually pagan bands??? why was i not informed???


73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how? no


74. Do you ever work skyclad? no i hate myself too much


75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how? yes, it’s given me an anchor in life


76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice? everywhere


77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc) yes! not unicorns though but i could be wrong on that


78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol? the pentacle


79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not? no because i have a bad habit of self harming and i don't want to trigger that


80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice? no i get if you don't believe but it's the same as if you don't support me being trans, it's a huge part of my life so either stfu and go away or get your ass into the 21st century


81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow? psychic abilities


82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice?
83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare qyourself for them). If so what is it? i do no

but i do usually talk to one of my companions


84. What real life witch most inspires your practice? none really


85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity? tarot


86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients? in a cute little box


87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of? no


88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it? through trail and error, i do a lot of demon works so that’s unique-ish


89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they? spirits, even evil ones, have never tried to hurt me, idk if that counts but that’s what i got


90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven? i would like to be initiated by a coven but i think it's perfectly valid to do it yourself


91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought? tarot cards


92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been? books beans and candles in birmingham alabama


93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities? you don't have to to pick the "typical" ones just because everyone else does, fuck everyone else you are your own person, that being said, if you feel a connection to a "typical" god, then don't be afraid to choose them


94. What techniques do you use to 'get in the zone’ for meditation? i don’t meditate tbh


95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it? visualization is very easy for me


96. Do you prefer day or night? Why? night, less disruption


97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work? night time, in my room


98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly? i have never casted a circle, my necklace is my circle


99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice? yes, things because more second nature


100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces? many gods

[kingjamesonfawkes]

Oh defo defo!! I plan on making a page for them later because stuff with my ocs gives me life & I have a few interactions written between them and canon characters that are just.. chillin on my computer.

So more info about OCs under the cut if you want to read about them! 

Azalea and Sullivan are the most fleshed out but I have a lot of ideas for all 5 of my babies.. Feel free to send me asks about my ocs~! I love talking about them I’m a huge nerd haha. 

If y’all are REALLY interested, like i said I have a lot of interactions written for most of them saved on my computer. ((mostly with Sullivan but I have some of all the others as well))

________________________ Azalea

Azalea is the first overwatch OC I made! She started as just like “this is me, but in overwatch” and since I made her she’s grown into her own character. There is still a lot of me in her personality but her background and some parts of her personality are completely different now.

Azalea is a 35 year old who lives in Las Vegas. She’s a magician by trade. She’s very very flirty and one-night stands are abundant. She has problems with getting close with people, it gives her anxiety and stress, and this leads to commitment issues.  She’s originally from a small town in the southwest where, when she was 8, she saw her first magic act and she was like “magic is cooool” and she started teaching herself party tricks.  Over her life & during the time of the uprising she studied technomancy because she wanted to be the World’s Greatest Magician. This got her her show in Las Vegas. (Her stage name is the Mistress of Mysticism) Her show in Las Vegas led to a party lifestyle, and she got into heavy drugs which fucked up a lot of her personal contacts. She hit rock bottom and almost lost her magic show, which is the only thing she really cares about, so she went to rehab and got clean. She’s really careful now but certain situations trigger her urge to use again.  Her manager and closest friend is an omnic named “Edie,” and she commonly is seen supporting omnic rights and protecting them from assaults.  At the time of the recall she is recruited by Winston for Overwatch because he thinks she would be an asset to the team. 

She’s 5′4′‘ with wavy dark brown hair and green eyes. She wears glasses. She has pale skin with freckles on her body. Her outfit is a black and white tuxedo dress with lime green details. She has both of her arms covered in sleeve tattoos of florals in black lineart.  Her weapon (& key item in her shows) is gold with green and purple gems on it.  [The first thing i drew of her] [Here’s a ref] But i forgot her tattoos [Heres a page of doodles] (spoiler i ship her with Hanzo)

“In Game” (support hero) >Creates ‘orbs’ from her staff. (Works similar to Zen’s harmony & discord orbs) She has to aim them and shoot them, they do small amounts of poison damage when hitting an enemy, and heal when they hit a teammate. Hitting the same target more than once builds the effect.  >Smoke Bombs for quick getaways. Enemies in the smokebomb area show up red like with hanzo’s sonar or widow’s ult. Smoke lasts for only a few seconds.  >(I dont have a secondary ability for her whoops) >>ultimate: “Grand Finale” : heals nearby teammates and poisons enemys in the radius, Azalea disappears for a quick getaway (invisible like sombra)  She passively heals her shields but not her health. 

Voiceline ideas: Her ult “GET READY FOR THE GRANDE FINALE!”  Elimination “Easy as pulling a rabbit from a hat” “That’s the trick!” “It’s all in the cards” (dorky magic stuff tbh)

Sullivan

Sullivan is my first junker oc, I have 2 of them. I ship her with Jamie or sometimes poly with Mako too depending on mood. 

Miley “Hot Rod” Sullivan is a 24 year old from Junkertown. She’s eccentric and high energy, determined and quick witted, very very skilled in mechanics and machinery. She has severe mental health issues that put her at risk from herself and cause large periods of depression and anxiety. (this stuff is based on my own experiences with mental health issues & not from the web tbh)  When she was 13 or 14 she lost her family and both of her legs in an explosion that also left her homeless. She almost died, and had to cauterize her own legs in order to try not to get infections, it mostly worked. The amputated parts of her legs are messy and awful looking but she doesn’t really care anymore, not like she did when it happened, plus everyone in the outback is at least a little roughed up. ((Another thing is that she can’t have children, radiation sickness fucked that up for her.)) Instead of prosthetics, she built herself a wheelchair & souped it up. It’s her prized and only possession. 

She has firey natural red hair with golden undertones, shaved into a mohawk with dangling "sideburns". [styled like this] On top of her hair, she wears a brown pilots cap that isnt properly fitted to her head, so it's pushed back and her hair  comes out the front and back of the cap. on the cap she has big black goggles that she uses during her mechanical work. these DO fit and she DOES wear them occasionally. She has deep set eyes and her eyes are brown. Her "make up" leaves one wondering, IS that make up, or is that dirt & soot??? the world will never know. She has dark circles because she stays up too long working on projects and hyper fixates on things she wants to do when shes set on a task, she could work on something for 2 days and forget to sleep and eat until she finishes or Mako (or less likely, Jamison) makes her stop. She's very frequently smeared with grease esp on her hands, face, and arms. She wears a denim jacket, littered with patches, studs and safety pins. it's pretty old and belonged to her father and before that her grandfather, who was obsessed with "old" (but not so old to him lmao) punk bands (ramones, the clash, ect) it's kind of falling apart but she stitches it back together when she needs too because its her favorite possession other than her chair. under that she wears a black form fitting crop top. she doesnt wear a bra bc fuck bras and also she has like b cups ("more than a handful is wasted" she tells people who tease her about small boobs.) She wears really short jean shorts  that are black and stitched together with gromets on the sides like a corset and they also have studs on them (these are VERY SHORT! VERY SHORT!! like basically underwear. and probably no underwear bc thats who she is) [reference] and under her jean shorts there is a high-waisted band of fishnet [example]. around her waist she has two bandoleers of bullets for her turret that she wears like a belt. they sit just a little under the top of her shorts. Her legs end about halfway down her thighs and the amputations are naturally scarred. She also has burn scars on other parts of her body, but not very extensively. She also has a few tattoos, [on her left leg above the scars] [on her right wrist] [across her sternum] 

“In game” (offense hero) Her wheelchair is equipped with her primary fire which is a scavenged and repurposed bastion turret. (since she is more mobile, it would not be as powerful or a fast) The turret sets over her shoulder while shes using it and folds back to behind her when not in battle. See [a really old ref i drew] to show this.  >Grenades, simple & basic grenades >speed boost, souped up wheelchair has an engine in the undercarriage and she flips a level to “overclock” it and speed up for a short period of time. >>ultimate: makes her more mobile/faster and powers up her gun, giving it faster speed and higher damage. 

Zed

Zed is my 2nd junker babe! He is a good boy and i would die for him. 

Zed is a mecha fighter from Junkertown.  His full name is Ezekiel, he goes by Zed to his friends, and does not like being called Zeke. He's mixed, mostly black and maori but he doesn't know exactly what else since heritage is hard to track in Junkertown. He's 19 years old and since he was very very young he's been building. His pride and joy is his Mech that he uses in battles. He's a small town hero bc he fights until he literally can't anymore and puts his whole heart into his mech. His father was the reigning mech battle champion for a long time before he died, and he wants to win back the title and keep it in the family. he's never known his mother. He literally built his mech from nothing and has been working on it for years. He changed his mech's name to Manaaki after his father's death. Manaaki basically means protector and to look after someone, which resonated strongly with him as someone that he wanted to become 

[a ref i made on a dress up maker] [a better ref that i doodled]

about his mech: It's shaped pretty much like a large bird that he can climb inside. (it's based on the australian raven) and its painted black with like oil slick. its a junker mech so its not perfect and its in battles so it gets scuffed and dented. it also has patches of metal where its been repaired with scrap paneling.

In Game: (Tank hero) Zed relies on his mech to fight, so if you destroyed it he would go with it, unlike D. Va. The mech is piloted similar to a jaeger from pacific rim, but on a much smaller scale, about the size of D. Va’s meka.  >Primary fire is the rifle on the head of the mech, where the beak would be on a bird.  >Primary ability is flight, it  would work as like a mix between pharah and d va but without as strong as a boost, and when in the air has a passive glide ability like mercy, but this is disrupted when hit or hacked and he must land. >Secondary ability would be shielding himself and teammates with the wings of the mecha, teammates must be close to be  shielded.  >ultimate:  an air strike, in a straight line roughly the range of the "point" square (maybe a little larger) and when he uses his ult you hear a great roaring caw and see the shadow of the mecha over where the drop is

proposed interaction between D. Va and Zed: Zed: D. Va! Yer mechs looking betta than eva! How 'bouta rematch sometime? D. Va:  Sure, If you think you  can keep up this time! (playful laugh)

Vivian

Viv is my brothers fav oc of mine haha other than maybe Sully. She’s a bitch and I love her. I don’t have AS MUCH figured out about her as I do my other characters.

Vivian is a movie star "by day", big fancy life in the limelight, but "by night" she's a talon agent and a spy. The only people who know she's a secret agent are other high ranked Talon agents, and she has infiltrated Helix to gain information from them for Talon, and because of her status as a celebrity she talks to organizations she infiltrates like "hey can we keep this on the downlow bc like i know im a good agent but the paparazzi would have a field day with me if they found out about this, and acting is my first love i cant give it up" she acts like a huge bitch but she is pretty sensitive about a lot of things, she just doesnt let people in. 

[a ref i made from a dress up maker]

In Game: (offense i think) >Primary weapon is a handgun  >Primary ability is “infiltration” that makes it look like shes on the enemy team to that team. >secondary ability “paparazzi” is a flashbang that looks like flashing camera lights and stuns the enemy.  >>ultimate ability is basically a guise that anyone in the effect radius on the enemy team sees their teammates as enemies as well and can deal friendly fire to them. lasts for only a brief period. 

My last oc I just made this week so I haven’t figured out a lot about her, she doesn’t even have a name yet lmao but here’s a copy/paste from my groupchat where i talked about her concept

Support hero. She's based on valentines day/cupid/eros

 she has a bow and arrow, like ana's gun they heal her teammates and damage enemies. her powers are ""divine"" is what she tells everyone but its really technology lmao. it fools no one except gullible people like junkrat

>her primary ability is "true loves kiss" and she blows kisses at her teammates and gives them small amounts of shield (shield that works like doomfist's shield and lucio's soundbarrier) and she can stack this ability >idk what her other ability is, probably a glide or low-air flight  >her ultimate stuns and confuses the enemy, knocking them prone, and gives teammates in her radius a larger amount of shield

shes a gossip and shes petty and she sticks her nose in EVERYONES business and she would try to get people to date each other and theyre like "No" and shes like "but youd be so cuuuuute"

her color scheme is white and pink (& a little red), she's from greece, and she has brown eyes and really long magenta hair

[lexpistachio]

just jackparse - a ficrec

for my sister who requested this rec 82 years ago. special thanks for those who painstakingly linked me new fics in my askbox. you’re the real mvp!

some things first: 

divided into AU, pre-canon, canon/canon divergence, and future

word length categorized as

short fic = less than 10,000 words medium = 10,000 - 20,000 words long = 20,000 - 60,000 words novel length = 60,000 - 100,000 words

format as follows:

 title - author | rating | length | various tags | gratutious commentary by me

summary 

just ctrl+f if you wanna find by rating (e.g search for: long) or other tags (eg. smut, humor, au)

★ are personal faves 

some liberty was taken in rating fics that are not rated

might update in the future; if i missed something, i’ll be happy to read your rec!

au

the world forgetting by the world forgot by achilleees  ★ - mature | short | eternal sunshine of the spotless mind au | angst | infidelity | my god it hurts, but in such a good way

Kent pressed his fingers into his eyes until his vision swam for reasons other than the salty tears welling up in them. “Are you seriously asking me to fly across the goddamn country to hold your hand while you cut me out of your life?” me: you know what this fandom needs? me: an eternal sunshine au me: only without the happy ending

I’ve Been Closing My Eyes by perfectpro  ★ - teen | long | inception au | angst | you don't understand how much love i have for this fic. SO MUCH LVOE

Jack Zimmermann? You worked with him and Kent Parson together? What happened?” Bitty asks before he can help himself.

Everyone’s heard the stories. Parse and Zimms, taking the world of dream share by storm, trained by Dominic Cobb himself. Ten years later, no one’s heard from either in two years.

Shrugging his shoulders, Shitty tries to think of how to phrase it. “No one comes out of Limbo the same.”

lavender, rose quartz, and thyme by megancrtr - mature | medium | magical realism | magical kent au | fluff and angst | found family

Kent knew about superstitions before he made it to hockey. He knew about black cats and broken mirrors. About stepping on cracks and throwing pinches of salt over his shoulder. Kent knew about magic before he found hockey.

Let the Current Carry Us by perfectpro - mature | long | magical realism | cursed!kent au | a classic j/p sad story ™ but with magic | i'm holding out for a happier sequel tbh

Jack hums and smiles, but otherwise doesn’t respond. They sit in silence, and he bites his tongue to keep from saying anything. There is no sense disrupting this fragile peace that they have.

Here is the deal he has made with himself: Jack is forbidden, until after the curse of the seventeenth summer. Kent does not want to do anything to let the gods know how they could hurt him the worst.

why do we fall? by sparklyslug - teen | short | touch telepath! jack au | epikegster | angst

“Didja miss me?” Kent had asked / looking strong/ look good/ looking happy/I could stand here all night and all day and just look at you/ and Jack’s control had crumbled, jerked him out of step with time and out into the swirling minds of the college kids filling their house, his consciousness sent running by the brightness in his own chest.

Dog Tags by MisconductandMimosas - gen | short | military au | fluff | established relationship |  further reading to be found in the author's tag for this fic | i adore this 'verse to bits

Corporal Kenny,” Jack huffed into Kent’s ear. The arms around his waist tightened.

“Captain Jack,” Kent teased right back. “You outrank me, Zimms.”

The Daily Grind by JaneJHills -  mature | long | abandoned wip | the coffeeshop au that was foretold

It’s not that Jack wasn’t into relationships; it’s just that Jack wasn’t a relationships kind of guy.

maybe i’m falling for you by madameofmusic - teen | short | coffeeshop au | this is really cute <3 i too lament the lack of more cutesy coffeeshop aus from this ship. this one’s great tho

Jack’s normal coffee shop relocates, and he’s forced to start buying from the cat-themed coffee shop down the street, Catppuccino. It’s cheesy as hell, but the coffee’s good, and the "purrista” better. Jack doesn’t miss the old shop.

among all the millions and millions of stars by achilleees - teen | short | florist!jack | flower shop au| fluff | pining

“Shush,” Kent says. “What have you got that says, like, thanks for not judging me when I get wasted on Moscato and pass out on your couch, and also sorry about that? Hypothetically.”

“Hypothetically,” says the florist, lips quirking, “I’d recommend either white tulips or blue hyacinths.”

Even the plainest of the plain shall deign to reign (and boy, you're reigning over me) by exbex - gen | short | high school au | chubby!jack | kent pining over shy jack is cute, yes

Lardo looks at Kent with the most knowing look he’s ever seen aside from his own mother’s. “Kent,” she finally replies, “I like you Bro. So I’m going to give you the following information. Information, which, I assure you, is publicly available. Jack, who transferred in weeks ago, Oh Unobservant One, knows me through GSA. Jack is not straight. Jack likes hockey, among other things. And that is all the emotional labor that I am doing for free.”

like a queen with her king by achilleees - teen | short | genderswap | girl!jack | high school au | misunderstanding | love the followup to this, found here + here

Shitty found Kent on the porch. “Saw your girl here,” he said. “Can’t believe you actually got her to come to a party.”

“She’s not my girl,” said Kent, trying not to blush.

“She should be,” Shitty said, smiling and leaning against the railing. “Blind man could see the way you look at her, and you’re the only person she likes at school.”

Twenty Feet Back by floatingstark - mature | short | wip | daddy!jack au as in literally-a-dad-jack 

Kent is aware this is a little odd; he’s standing behind some trees on the other side of the park, pretending to stretch but actually just high-key spying on a hot dad and his kid.

i'll be your platinum by achilleees ★ - explicit | medium | sugar daddy!jack au | daddy kink | angst and fluff | this is the one daddy kink fic that made me swoon, it's the banter and the way they fall for each other slowly that takes my breath away | sorta sequels here and here | better yet, read all the entire unrelated daddykink series she wrote

Wicks took a deep breath, then let out in a rush, “So I’ve been catfishing this dude online with your pictures so he’ll buy me free stuff, only now he wants to meet in person to hand off the suit jacket I need for Ginger’s wedding tomorrow, so I need you to meet him outside the Burberry at the Copley mall tonight to pick it up for me.”

Kent couldn’t speak for a minute, because he was laughing too hard.

here in the present tense by achilleees ★ -  teen | short | soulmate au | bodyswap | 

Jack isn’t really sure what he was expecting when he went to sleep on August 2.

Kind of. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to admit that he genuinely thought he’d wake up in Georgia, in those checker-patterned, sunlight-limned sheets. That he’d go downstairs and hear Suzanne Bittle bustling around in the kitchen, and greet her wearing her son’s socks and his pajamas and his sweet, bashful blush.

Dynamite Boy by TomatoBird - gen | short | wreck it ralph au | glitch!jack | the concept is genius, i’d gladly read 50k more words of this

In which Jack is simultaneously a glitch, a child of champions, and an aspiring player in Hero’s Duty, and Kent is just someone he happens to meet along the way.

Alone Among the Wreck by Christabel - explicit | short | arranged marriage au | smut | surprise non-con near the end | angst

“You don’t have to trust me,” Kent said, “you just have to let me do this.”

Jack has spent many years away from his father's court. Now he must return to wed Kent Parson at last, with all those years and hurts between them. It's not pretty.

the light of all lights by decinq - mature | short | vampires au | look, it's not endgame and has open-ended j/b ugh but i feel like every ficrec should have at least one vampire au 

Jack says, “Would you rather be able to fly or have super speed.”

The corners of Kent’s mouth tug into a small smile, and he says, “Compared to you, I do have super speed.”

Jack elbows him, hard. Jack asks, “What about being able to see the future?”

end credits by Verbyna - teen | short | actors au | ambiguous ending and has background j/b | reconciliation | open-ended, but i love fics where they try to do a post-mortem of their past relationship and realize that it isn’t as final as they want it to be

Kent thinks, they’ll end the movie here.

The story, of course, goes on.

rentboy jack and his nhl star boyfriend series by achilleees - rentboy!jack | prostitution au | 

so put it on me - explicit | short | pining | smut

It will be a cold day in hell before Kent has the fortitude to say no to that pout. 

“Ugh,” he says. “It’s just a dumb fantasy, man, it doesn’t matter.”

Jack cocks his head at him. “I am in the business of fulfilling fantasies,” he says. or, eloquently summed up by a friend: "Ugh poor Kent is so in love"

all the hearts they're messing with - teen | short | angst and fluff | trade | 

As soon as Kent gets home, he pulls out a pad of paper and a pen and makes a list of his options.

1. Tell Jack you got traded. Get dumped. Cry in your cheerios.2. Hide from Jack that you were traded. Buy out (?) the Vegas media so they don’t cover the story. Bribe NHL.com Break Jack’s laptop so he can’t read NHL.com anymore. Fly back on off-days (?). Have plan fall through because plan is dumb. Get dumped. Cry in cheerios.

but on good days - teen | short | established relationship | meet the parents | angst | 

“Are you mad at me?” Kent says.

Jack meets his eyes in the mirror, gaze stormy.

“I’m just trying to get along with your parents,” says Kent. “I thought that’s why you brought me here.”

Second Chance by bittlebunny - mature | short | blind date au

“I know, I’m sorry.” Jack repeats. “It was wrong. I just didn’t know what to do, I don’t usually do that type of thing.”

“You should more often. You know you could probably get laid every night if you wanted to?”

Jack blushes and looks down into his black coffee, not quite agreeing with that sentiment.

leave this blue neighborhood. series by katarama ★ - teen, explicit | long | no bitty au | angst | non-linear narrative |  oh my god this one is so good, especially their internal monologues | it gave me MAJOR FEELINGS

This is a 16-fic series that centers around Jack and Kent and their history and their future. It follows canon, with one major difference; Bitty decided not to go to Samwell. Each fic is named after and based around a song on the Deluxe version of Troye Sivan’s album Blue Neighborhood. The first two fics are chronological, because they’re in the fic’s current time (2018) in the frame of the story. Most of the fics in the series are told through flashbacks and time jumps, though, and the stories switch back and forth between Jack and Kent’s perspectives.

pre-canon

meet you in the middle by madameofmusic - teen | short | pre-slash

Kent meets Jack Zimmermann for the first time.

In Kit We Trust by kentprsn - teen | short | fluff | getting together | first kiss | cat matchmaker au

A lot of things can happen if a cat is set loose in an ice rink; Kent never thought this would be one of them.

Or: “I may have brought my pet to the rink by accident and it may have escaped you have to help me.” AU

it’s too close for comfort by achilleees - teen | short | pre-slash | cats

“Go suck your own dick,” Parse grumbled. “I’ma find the cat.” Both pairs of shoes wandered away, and Jack was almost relieved until suddenly, without warning, the high tops came back and light flooded his sanctuary as someone crouched and lifted the hem of the tablecloth.

“Hey, you,” Parse said to either Jack or the cat, he couldn’t tell.

the bluest things on earth by blazeofglory - gen | short | drabble | pre-slash

Kent Parson isn't gay, he isn't, but there's... There's something about Jack Zimmermann.

Crossing the Line by avalonjoan - gen | short | hurt/comfort | sickfic | teenage boys being nice | pre-slash

Even though they're linemates, Jack doesn't know Kent all that well. He certainly doesn't expect the American to come look after him when he's unwell on their first roadie.

Count on It by bienenalster - gen | short | pre-slash | codependency | world juniors

Specifically, in which Jack and Kent fail at playing against each other.

Generally, in which Jack and Kent fail at being reasonable human beings. Or, the lighter side of codependency.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by bienenalster, Pax - teen | short | pre-slash maybe | mutual enabling

Jack can appreciate a good game of beer pong in someone's basement, especially when Parse is on his team, one arm around his shoulder as he tries to get Jack to miss his shot.

(Jack never really understood how Parse can just turn it off like that. If you want to win on the ice, then you should want to win all the time. Even at stupid things, like beer pong.)

(Jack has never considered the possibility that beer pong might not be the only game Parse is playing.)

but then his hands roamed by defcontwo - teen | short | first kiss

Jack’s hand pressed into the small of Parse’s back during team meetings, where no one else can see, and Parse toppling into Jack’s lap whenever he gets drunk enough that no one will blink twice at it.

A game of chicken, or a game of chance. Jack doesn’t know which one it’s going to be just yet. 

you're neck and neck or cheek to cheek by punkpadfoot - teen | short | first kiss | i'm in love with the author's style of writing, and i love the tentativeness in this fic--they're shy and hesitant; their dilemma feels true

Kent’s always been fairly affectionate, but this thing with Jack is something else entirely.

the spark in your eyes, the look on your face by oscarmild - teen | short | drabble

Jack knows that Kent is his friend- his best friend, even. But lately, it’s been starting to feel like more than just friends.

Insults for Your Lovers by SummerFrost - teen | short | inter-class | social class difference | friends to lovers

Things Jack has: Brand new yellow sneakers, an expensive truck, Kent Parson.

Things Kent has: Converse with holes in them, riding shotgun, Jack Zimmermann.

Count on It by bienenalster - gen | short | preslash | codependency | world juniors

Specifically, in which Jack and Kent fail at playing against each other.

Generally, in which Jack and Kent fail at being reasonable human beings. Or, the lighter side of codependency.

What's Better Than This? Just Guys Bein' Dudes by Bittyybee (sunlight) - mature | short | massages | first kiss | ust 

Kent's shoulders hurt. Jack gives good massages.

my youth is yours. by alicejericho - teen | short | getting together | first kiss | and read the rest of the wasting my young years. series | jack is smitten by kent’s charms oh yeah

Kent spends the beginning of his summer with hockey prodigy/best friend Jack Zimmermann because they're young and they can and Kent likes getting free things.

girls like girls by Elliotalderson - explicit | short | genderswap au | first time | girl!jack | girl!kent | smut | i need more of this stat

"I know how you get all psycho near a game, don't worry. Just uh- maybe find a healthy way to release that frustration." Kate suggested as she turned and winked at Jacq. "Y'know what I mean?"

"Not hockey?" Jacq asked confused.

"Not hockey." Kate repeated, meeting Jacqs eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

its pimms cis swap smut!! enjoy!!

A Quiet Kind of Intimacy by alpha_exodus - explicit | short | first time | smut | photography

Jack doesn't really care about having a roommate on this roadie - that is, until he heads to his room and finds out his roommate is Kent Parson.

touches my foolish heart by foxfireflamequeen - explicit | short | first time | pwp

“That,” says Kent. “Was the most uncool moment of my life.”

Jack’s still laughing, the fucker.

First by omgericzimmermann - gen | short | first times | drabble | fluff and angst

They were just kids.

They were so young that everything was a first. 

tear at the seams by defcontwo - mature | short | drabble | angsty smut

This is what Jack lives for: The second he touches down on the ice, his mind clears. For sixty minutes, he is nothing but a blank slate, a white board that fills itself up with plays and tactics, a steady hand on the stick and a heart that beats for nothing else.

hand in unlovable hand by procrastibaker - teen | short | pining | getting together | sad boys trying to figure their shit out | 

So he sits next to Jack on roadies, bumping their shoulders together amicably as Jack chews on his lip and stares out the window at the passing scenery. He leans into every casual touch - Jack’s gloved hand on his back, their skates knocking together on the bench. Seeks him out on the ice, feeling a thrill when their passes connect effortlessly; slams him into the boards after game-winning goals, their teammates piling up around them but it’s Kent’s fist clutching the back of Jack’s jersey, Kent’s voice yelling in Jack’s ear.

If Jack notices, he doesn’t say anything.

Kent still hopes.

Good Things Ahead by perfectpro - teen | short | fwb

Jack doesn't want to go to a party, but Kent's pretty sure that he can be convinced.

Mutually Assured by Verbyna - teen | short | codependency | has kent/ofc | angst

The smile on Kent’s face is all wrong. He fixes it.

we gaze up at the stars above our heads by alyssakate - teen | short | fluff (mostly)

I don’t know if we’ll ever see each other again, or when we meet our ends, but please just let me hold your hand.

There's thirty-four days of what feels like an endless summer stretched between the Memorial Cup and the NHL draft. Thirty-four days days of each other. Thirty-four days left.

four strong winds by defcontwo - teen | short | fluff with an angsty ending? (a tag that could be patented to this ship that's for sure) | i just love my teenage boys on dates and living in the moment ok

The sales pitch is irrelevant: this moment right here, sitting in the front of Kent’s piece of shit pickup truck, listening to “Party in the USA” on the radio at top volume – that’s all the convincing Jack ever needed.

Or: Kent and Jack, a carnival, and the last gasp of the 34 days.

follow my lead by mardia - explicit | short | the seduction of jack zimmermann | kent here is wily but his conviction is compelling | podfic available 

Kent likes to have his fun, likes to mess with people, but there's something about messing with Jack that's just so deeply satisfying for him. He can poke and poke and he'll get a reaction every single time. No matter what, no matter how blatant Kent gets or how he pushes it, he'll get that same wide-eyed disbelieving stare, that same red blush staining Jack's cheeks.

New things by robokittens - explicit | short | smut | pwp 

"Jack," Kent mumbles into Jack's neck. "I wanna try something."

wax/wane - explicit | short | angst | smut 

Things will come full circle for Kent – he's sure of it.

party pieces by familiar - explicit | short | smut | pwp | painplay

From the early 2008 so-bad-it's-good sex idea vault: "It’s just him and Kent and the really stupid idea that was beating his ass raw with a hockey stick." Gotta hit it with something, you know?

search the world for something else by somehowunbroken - mature | short | second person POV | angst | au

Your name is Jack Zimmermann, and you were born into hockey.

Ode to Joy by coyotesuspect - mature | short | drunk sex

December 31st, 2008. Parse has a good feeling about the new year.

mess you made by schwule - mature | short | angst

Jack’s life hasn’t been very exciting, despite what people may think. Kent might just be the most thrilling thing that’s ever happened to him.

only time is ours by thistidalwave -  mature | short | angst

 Jack always feels like he’s running. Running to catch up. Running to get ahead. Lungs burning. Legs about to give out. Falling behind, behind, behind. Coming in dead last, even when he hits the finish line before anyone else.

Leaving Me Stranded by mardia - explicit | short 

Jack’s dad and Kent really get along great. Which isn’t a surprise, they’re basically the same sort of person--outgoing, funny, always ready with a story or joke--so when Kent comes out to dinner with Jack and his family, it’s basically those two monopolizing the conversation for the entire meal.

an empty room by quietest_one - explicit | short | smut | established relationship

The Combine is a mad rush of a long weekend, painfully sober, gloriously exhausting. Kent is on the road to reaching his dreams, and he's taking Jack along for the ride. (Or, two boys exchange handjobs around the back of a gym. Whichever you prefer.)

the heart is a risky fuel to burn by idrilka - mature | fluff  and angst | established relationship 

 Montreal in summer is hot as hell, the heat sticky and clinging to the skin. (There were the thirty-four days in the summer of 2009, between winning the Memorial Cup and the NHL Entry Draft in Montreal, where things were perfect. This is one of those days.)

let me feel i'm falling safely to the ground by natscribbles - mature | short

Kent doesn't know which what ifs are more dangerous, can't tell which ones hurt the most.

I Love You, He Thinks by blithelybonny - teen | short 

It's the night before the draft, and Kent knows that this is probably the end.

my versailles at night by thistidalwave - teen | short | au | first kiss

But now—now it’s the quiet of the early morning, they just won the Memorial Cup, and Jack doesn’t want to let this moment pass him by.

where we went by speedboat - mature | short | dysfunctional relationship

Once in the car, Kent does three things: he googles "valium+vodka"; he shakes Jack awake; and he takes a napkin and wipes the tears away from Jack's face.

or: Parse was the one who found Jack during his overdose.

or: In Defense of Kent Parson.

34 days by thistidalwave - explicit | short | fluff and angst 

There were the 34 days in the summer of 2009, between winning the Memorial Cup and the NHL Entry Draft in Montreal, where things were perfect. Who wouldn’t want that back?

it's the stars that score by perfectpro - mature | medium | angst 

It’s a week until the NHL draft. A week until he stops competing with Kent and starts competing against him. A week until he finds out if his dad’s name carries more weight than Kent’s skill does, and Jack sometimes has a hard time breathing when he starts thinking about it.

It’s why he tries not to think about it.

Three Words, Repeated by Freudianity - explicit | short | fluff with an angsty ending 

5+1 Five times Jack told Kent he loved him, and one time he didn't.

to you he is a room by punkpadfoot - teen | short | angst | kent pov to the story followed by the next in this list 

He’s happy now—the weather is warm and the grass is soft and there’s still a pleasant buzz in his head. Jack is close enough to touch. Right now, summer’s end feels distant, less of a looming presence and more of an exit they’ve yet to reach.

to them he is a mirror by misandrywitch - teen | short | angst | jack pov to the story which precedes this in this list

All Jack knows is that after this summer, everything is going to be different.

larger than life by Verbyna - teen | short | also helpfully tagged as: the making of Kent "Victory" Parson“

Everything feels like the end of the world when it happens. No one can see the future, so it’s hard to believe it exists.”

Kent’s dad wasn’t always right, but he was right about that.

if you are looking for the demons that play well with your own by storiesfromtheden - gen | short | angst

Kent spent years counting the things that were not right.

Like A Missing Limb series by thatallone - teen | short | angst | suicide attempt 

Without You

 Prompt: "You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

[delete] 

Kent typed out a lot of texts to Jack in the summer of 2009. He never worked up the nerve to send any of them.

physical or otherwise by jedusaur (podfic - audio only) - explicit | audio length: 3:33 mins | this is short and packs quite a punch; please give it a listen!

"Listen to me, Jack. I am not going first in the draft because of your shitty impulse control."

city without seasons by thepalebluedot - teen | short | angst 

It’s hard to measure time in a city you don’t believe in.

Kent after the draft.

Countdown by SummerFrost - mature | short | drabble | angst 

 Kent Parson spends three years of birthdays asking for Jack Zimmermann. Jack gives what he can; sometimes it's enough.

what might have been lost - mature | short | angst | ransom and holster reads fic au | 5+ 1

five times jack and kent loved each other (and one time they couldn't)

So if you don't mind, I'll walk that line by alyssakate - teen | short | au | 

Kent and Jack play each other at World Juniors in 2008 and then again in 2009.

A story about winning, losing and coming to terms with what really matters.

no sign of land by perichareia - gen | short | unrequited love | angst | 2nd Person POV

i love him.

you’re seventeen years old and the words echo in your head like the aftershock of a heavy check into the glass. for a long moment, your world stops.

dodging bullets with your broken heart by perfectpro - gen | short | angst | mostly jack-centric, but i feel like it's in-character with how jack compartmentalizes his life, which explains a lot about the tension with Kent refusing to be boxed and be forgotten

Kent belongs back in Juniors. Kent belongs at Rimouski, and on the bus traveling to roadies, and on the ice with Oceanic. Kent does not belong on the front porch of the Haus.

the boy you used to be by quietest_one - teen | short | outsider pov | ofc pov | only brief j/p | angsty ending

Five scenes between Ashley Parson and her brilliant, miserable, wonderful big brother. Or: Kent Parson, growing up.

Role Models by MisconductandMimosas - gen | medium | au | read the rest of the series here 

Jack and Kent both missed the draft, albeit for completely different reasons

-or-

“For your ThrowBack Thursday of the week, we sat down with two of the NHL’s finest, Trotsy of the Aces and McLeed of the Rangers to talk their record-breaking Memorial Cup win as well as former juniors star and Zimmermann liney- Kent-“ Holster looked at the magazine article and blinked- “Parson,” he said at a lower volume. “Kent Parson? I forgot about that guy. How did they even find him?”

history begins to be blue and brown eyes by decinq - teen | short | angsty ending, with j/b 

 There are articles upon articles about their on-ice chemistry, the way they move around each other like the well-oiled grooves of an impeccable machine.

welcome to the second reel by idrilka - teen | short | angst 

They win at home. It goes all the way to game six, and then they win in their own home arena after it goes to double overtime, and Kent gets to lift thirty-four pounds of silver into the air.

(In the aftermath of the Aces' first Stanley Cup Championship title, Kent goes to Samwell on his Cup day.)

This is What Happy Looks Like by VerityR ★ - teen | short | angst | i just like the author’s writing of it

It’s been years. Six of them. Kent Parson is not still in love with Jack Zimmermann. But it’s not like he’s in love with anybody else. So when, in his dreams, he stumbles upon something approaching happiness, maybe the figure is vaguely Jack-shaped. Jack-adjacent. But that’s not the same thing as love.

canon/canon divergent

past the last exit by misandrywitch ★ - teen | medium | the prose on this one blows me away

Jack wonders when Kent started asking so many questions that he doesn't have the answers to. It felt so much easier when neither of them asked any at all.

Shut the God Damn Door by jedusaur - mature | short | au | angst maybe? short but poignant

What if Jack went first overall, as planned, and took his addiction with him to Vegas?

go ahead and move along by originally ★ - teen | short | groundhog day au | angst | this one's witty and angsty and hopeful in perfect proportions | epikegster

"Leave, Parse," Jack says. Again.

Or: Kent finds himself stuck in a time loop.

i thought of you and where you'd gone by runphoebe - mature | short | angst with a hopeful ending | has k/omc | love the fics like this that don't view jack with rose colored glasses

When Kent’s name gets called first, he smiles, and when he slips the jersey over his head, he smiles, and when he realizes he’s going to be in Vegas, Las fucking Vegas, he smiles so hard his cheeks ache. Just because Jack’s a huge fucking fuck up who can’t handle being number one doesn’t mean Kent’s going to cry about it.

In which Kent doesn't even bother trying to get over Jack because he knows it's a huge waste of his time.

you're writing your tragedy by forochel - teen | short | angst | podfic available Year 2, Comic 9, Parse - Part III, from Kent's perspective. | epikegster

I basically took 'Kent "Baby One More Time" Parson' and ran with it.

you're familiar like my mirror years ago by nighimpossible - explicit | short | accidental voyeurism | epikegster

Kent and Jack get reacquainted at the Epikegster.

Alternatively: Bitty hears something he shouldn't have.

New Start by SalazarTipton - teen | short | morning after | fluff | post-epikegster

The morning after falling into bed together during Epikegster, Jack wakes up in Kent’s arms.

To Hell With Why by angelsaves - explicit | short | j/p/omc threesome | smut | my alternative excerpt/summary: id have a 3some w/u, Parse texts him after a while. Thanks, Jack replies

Jack has been over Parse for ages. (At least, that's what he tells himself.) In which there is bad-idea sex, accidental voyeurism, an invitation (or two) to a threesome, an actual threesome, and 0% "being over each other" by volume.

the epikegster remix series by defcontwo

you can take this heart - teen | short | epikegster | reconciliation

"So, what the hell was that, then?"

Or: a way that Epikegster could have gone differently.

and don't let go - teen | short | post-epikegster | fluff

"Did you miss me at all?"

Or: what happens when a pair of dumbasses use their words a little better.

down the backs of tabletops by defcontwo - teen | short | has mentions of k/omc and past j/b 

Breakups are a kind of private war, Jack guesses.

varied my velocities by punkpadfoot ★ - teen | short | tentative friendship | tears were shed in the reading of this fic

This should feel like a victory. This shouldn't feel like tiptoeing around broken glass.

This Time (I'm Telling You, I'm Telling You) by sparklyslug - mature | short | angst | established relationship

He and Zimms, they’re pretty good at breakups, historically. They’re pretty good at what comes after the breakup, anyway.

fated to pretend by nighimpossible - teen | short | humor | only j/p if you squint but it's goddamn hilarious with a side of ransom and holster

5 Jack/Kent fics that Ransom and Holster dramatically reenact for the Haus + the truth.

Not Quite Too Late by loveandallthat - explicit | short | au | reconciliation | ahhhh this is nice

Jack accidentally confesses on live television that he had a young love that ended badly. It’s possible that this isn’t quite as bad as he thinks it is.

Seven-Year Itch by Idday ★ - teen | medium | fake/pretend relationship | married au | angst with a happy ending

“I’m sorry,” Georgia says slowly, like she thinks she misheard him. “You said you’re… married?”

Amanda raises her eyebrows and taps something onto her keyboard. “That’s good to know, Mr. Zimmermann, but I’m sure you know that many of our players are married.”

“Right, but this is… different.” Jack says.

“Jack,” Georgia says, “Why did you never mention this before? Do I know your wife?”

“I’m sure you do,” Jack says carefully, “Only… it’s not a wife. It’s Kent Parson.” ... (So what if they’re not pretending to be married. They’re still pretending to be happily married.)

the nearer your destination by achilleees - teen | short | angst | open-ended 

“Parse fought Averin because he was talking shit about you,” Max said bluntly. “And you being here is not going to put him in a better emotional state.”

neutral zone stickhandling by achilleees - explicit | short | injury recovery | humor (hallelujiah) 

The splint around Kent’s leg is a feat of engineering, a hulking behemoth of black plastic and Velcro, but the crutches are sleek and slim. an alternate take on the March of Jack’s senior year.

Push/Pull by thistidalwave, Verbyna - teen | short | soul bond au | break up |  I’m gonna miss him for the rest of my life" stayed with me | why do all the soulbond fics in this pairing all end tragically? Who holds the stars up in the sky? Is true love just once in a lifetime? 

He looks at Kent and feels nothing, if nothing feels like a shattered rib cage, all the protection around his heart gone. Kent is right in front of him, his hair falling into his face and his hands clenched in the sheets, but if Jack closes his eyes, Kent could be anywhere.

(or, Jack and Kent can’t keep their bond if they both want to play in the NHL.)

bang the doldrums by Verbyna -  explicit | short | has j/b | au but almost canon in my head how jack aggressively minimizes kent's importance in his pre-samwell years lol

Kent Parson is not Jack's friend. He’s a fucking fever.

heart between your teeth by schwule - mature | long | angst | has j/b and p/b | angst | POV rotates and has passage of time. has little gut-punching lines like: "He feels the most real when he's with Jack. But Jack escapes reality every chance he gets."

Maybe Jack's not the only one who's scared.

as good as the day I met you by blazeofglory ★ - teen | medium | slow burn | friends to lovers | coming out | getting back together | fluff and angst | gosh the social media banter in between parts are icing on the cake

Kent and Jack come out together. Not together together, though, no matter how much Kent wishes that were true.

Alternately titled: "the jackparse get back together fic."

didn't ask for you by Mizzy ★ - mature | long | reconciliation | humor | apologies | getting back together | friends to lovers | slow burn | jack gets traded to vegas au | podfic available

Kent Parson has well over ninety-nine problems. He has a chronic potty mouth, a sneaking suspicion he may be an actual idiot, a narcissistically-named cat with gas issues, too many sisters... the list goes on.

Kent Parson has more than ninety-nine problems and Jack Zimmermann — freshly, resentfully and recently traded to the Las Vegas Aces — is definitely one of them.

you know i held on too much by unveils - explicit | short | fluff | smut | yay all the way for happy smut 

It takes a minute for the pieces to work together in Jack’s brain, but when he catches Kent’s Britney phone case out of the corner of his eye, heat blooms in his chest to match the spread of red across his cheeks, embarrassment and something else entirely. He doesn’t duck his head, but it’s a near thing, under Kent’s crooked grin. “Really? You think now is a good time to be taking pictures?”

Two swipes and a press of Kent’s thumb has his camera app sliding open to the picture he took. Jack cranes his neck to see, but Kent presses the phone into his hand, slides his hands around Jack’s neck. “Dude, yeah. You make me look good, Zimms.” -- or: the one where jack and kent have fun with camera phones!

my honey i know by achilleees - teen | short | possessiveness | jealousy | reconciliation 

After that, it happened more often than he would ever have wanted to admit. It was almost too easy; girls were always after Kent, but Kent spent too much of his time looking at Jack to notice.

For example, Kent texted him from chemistry one day. Hey lara and aly wanted 2 know if we wanted 2 go thrifting w them after school 2day. No, was all Jack texted back.

Kk, Kent replied, and they didn’t go thrifting with Lara and Aly after school that day.

we could be made for this by stereosymbiosis - explicit | short | pwp

Kent lifts his head and peers up at Jack. “Hey, Zimms, what kind of soap do you use?”

“I’m not sure this is entirely relevant, Parse,” Jack breathes out. Kent looks at the expanse of skin stretched before him, Jack’s muscles taut and twitching, the fucking perfect rise of Jack’s ass, Jack’s legs spread just so and his knees pressed into the mattress for leverage, and yeah. That can probably wait.

Jersey Memories by SalazarTipton - teen | short | reminiscing | hopeful ending

When Jack goes home to Montreal for break and just wants to get his assignments finished, but his parents keep giving him chores. When his mom sends him to look through his old jerseys, he gets lost in some old memories.

take me back to when we started by madameofmusic - teen | short | reminiscing | reconciliation

Kent gets a package in the mail from Jack six months after Jack signs with the Falconers.

let me down gently by perfectpro - teen | short | pining | reminiscing | unrequited love | jack is infuriating, goodbye

They’re never going to be the same carefree best friends that they once were, and Kent’s getting around to accepting that. Things are good, now, but they’re not the same, and that’s okay. He’s getting used to it.

They’re better than they’ve been in years, and that’s really all that he can hope for, but sometimes Kent remembers all the texts he sent at 2 am and all the responses he never got.

Better the Second Time by loveandallthat - teen | short | au | reconciliation

He gets Jack’s text, “you don’t have to,” thirty seconds before he gets a direct email from Jack’s agent.

Of course he has to.

Or, Jack has a public event before he goes into the NHL, and Jack’s agent insists that it won’t be good publicity unless Kent is also there.

the heaviest of burdens by thekissofbees - mature | short | angsty pining 

Kent sleeps with his phone resting on his pillow, the volume cranked up as high as it will go and the vibrate on. He’s stretched the cord of the charger out so that it will reach his bed, and the coating of the wire is beginning to fray and peel off at the top.

(Or: Kent waits for Jack to call.)

Like Slow Motion by apatientwolf - teen | short | reminiscing | angsty pining 

//There in the bathroom I try not to fall apart and the sinking feeling starts as I say hopelessly "he said he'd be here"// OR Taylor Swift's discography is the soundtrack of Kent Parson's life.

The one where it's July 4th 2015 in upstate New York.

Getting Some Rest by SalazarTipton - gen | short | established relationship | fluff

There’s a box under Jack’s desk. When he works on a paper, he’ll kick his feet up on it. Everybody that comes in doesn’t notice it. If they did, it just looks like some miscellaneous box of whatever. Nothing special. They wouldn’t think anything of it. No one knows that battered, footprint covered cardboard box is Jack’s lifeline. On his hardest days and in the surreal, dark hours when his insomnia hits, he opens it up and is able to breathe.

I thought it less like a lake by runphoebe - explicit | short | established relationship | emotional hurt/comfort | smut | author writes some of the best porn in fics i've ever read

Kent likes the difference between their bodies. He likes being shorter than Jack because he can curl comfortably under the weight of Jack’s arm across his shoulders when they stand next to each other, and he likes that Jack’s body on top of his is enough to hold him down and keep him there if Jack doesn’t want him to move. He likes that Jack has big, strong hands and big, thick fingers.

The Aces get knocked out of the playoffs and Kent Parson is having feelings about it. Jack Zimmermann is having feelings about him.

keep your lights on by ladyalysv - explicit | short | rebound sex | au | unapologetically elf-centric jack 

At least with Parse, it's hard to fuck things up more. (2016)

when you were there by defcontwo - mature | short | angsty angst 

Jack plays the Aces for the first time, and two things happen at once: Jack, nervous and fumbling all the way through the warm up, right down to puck drop when he catches sight of that familiar blonde hair and something in him just settles, winds up playing the most beautiful hockey of his season to date.

And Kent ignores him completely.

Redux series by Idday ★ - established relationship | domesticity | fluff | au | the thing with future-ish jackparse fluff aus is that their issues (e.g. kent's insecurities, or jack's  daddy issues) remain to be dealt with and don't vanish by the virtue of love ipso facto, and that's why they're so goddamn satisfying

Like We Were - teen | short | first times (again) | getting back together | friends to lovers

Jack thinks there should be a word for this, for when you fall in love with the same person a second time.

no one has me (like you do) - teen | short | summers and holidays

“Kenny,” Jack says again. “You went golfing for me. That’s how I know it’s real.”

my heart, it came to life - mature | short | family planning??

“Kenny,” Jack says, and falls into the deck chair where Kent is laying out, absorbed in whatever’s on his phone screen. It could be an email from his agent, or it could be a cat video. It’s hard to tell.

The chair is much too small for two fully grown hockey players, but they make it work. Kent drops his phone, but he’s wearing sunglasses, his face hard to read. Jack pulls them down gently until Kent’s squinting up at him, eyes adjusting to the bright afternoon.

“Do you want kids?” Jack asks him.

something about the way you love me (finally feels like home) - teen | short | pseudo-proposal

He loves Jack likes this and loves that he can make him like this—warm and open and laughing with their friends. It makes him stupidly proud, like he has his own personal Jack Zimmermann. He has to share his boyfriend with the rest of the world, sure, but they only get the hockey robot version. Kent gets this Jack, the real Jack, all to himself.

future

The More Things Change by bienenalster - teen | short | winter classic au | getting together | friends to lovers | plays on nostalgia but coming from a place where they've grown up, and ready to try again. just plain adorable

“For one player on the Aces, this game represents the return of youth in another, special way. In just three weeks, Kent Parson, captain of the Las Vegas Aces, will not only be returning to the east coast winter of his childhood, but he will have the rare opportunity of being out on the same pond as his former friend and rival, Jack Zimmermann. The opportunity to play a game outdoors may remind them of their childhood, but from sharing a special bond as young teammates to struggling against each other for victory, this game also shows how much has changed with time.“

Kent texted Jack: “fucking epix”.

Dad Hugs by MisconductandMimosas - gen | short | more kent & bad bob tbh but i’ll take more of this rn | fluff

In the summer of 2019, Kent attends Bob Zimmermann’s private Hockey Hall of Fame Induction party

Love Over Need by loveandallthat - mature | short | relapse | reconcilation | has j/b and breakup |  angst with a happy ending | helloo this author is great at scenes when jack and parse are having a throwdown and fixing their shit 

Because Jack is an addict, and some addicts relapse.

Endgame Jack/Kent. I cannot stress this enough.

In Due Time by loveandallthat - teen | short | reconciliation 

Jack’s been in the NHL for several years now. The Falconers rose to glory and fell again, just like the Aces. Jack gets on a plane to Vegas.

Behind Closed Doors by loveandallthat - explicit | short | reconciliation | friends to lovers | getting together 

It’s just a tabloid. Nobody’s going to believe it anyway; it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Jack can tell himself any one of these things a thousand times and he’s never going to believe them.

Confirmed: Kent Parson Las Vegas Aces’ First Choice All Along It doesn’t even help that the last line is, “When asked for comment, Kent Parson said, ‘Who even cares anymore?’”

17 Again by daeguarchives - teen | short | friends to lovers | angst

“I can’t believe I actually thought I was in love with you, once.”

17 was a bad time for both of them, they both know that. Except now Kent's kidding himself into thinking he can move on and Jack's kidding himself into thinking he has moved on and for some reason, 17 seems a much better time than now.

new jersey is for lovers series by defcontwo, sparkyplugs  ★ | it's soft and sweet and sometimes, that's enough

Ready to Walk a Path That's New - teen | short | curtainfic | fluff

They’ll always have things to apologize to each other for. But these days, they’re trying to focus on what they have to thank each other for.

These days, that’s a much longer list.

There's a place for you and me - mature | short | proposal | fluff

“I don’t know, I just, uh. It wasn’t there. He’s not the kind of guy I could see myself ending up with, I guess.”

Jack laughs, warm and close, the standard pre-chirp Zimmermann coming in at the edges. “And what kind of guy would that be?”

Kent swallows hard, and thinks, You. Fuck me, it’s always going to be you. Or: the slow and steady steps to a happily ever after.

the way that you flip your hair by achilleees - teen | short | established relationship | praise kink | emotional hurt/comfort | unfff

“And my running observation is that Parse can’t take a compliment from you without blowing it off. Could be a coincidence, but no evidence to the contrary since I started paying attention,” Ransom said.

“What?” Jack said, right as Kent walked back in the room.

the river twice by Verbyna - teen | short | addiction relapse | angst | hopeful ending at least

Going to Vegas seemed like the only option.

player judged most valuable by achilleees - teen | short 

prompt: future fic, jack’s been in the nhl a few years, ignoring parse when they play the aces. he can’t ignore him the night of the nhl awards, not when he looks this good, not when he fucking thanks jack in his hart acceptance speech.

i really really really really really really like you by achilleees ★ - teen | short | insecurity | established relationship | jack reassuring kent is my forever jam

“Hey,” Jack said. “My parents love you, alright? They have never not loved you. This is going to be fine.”

“Condescension negates cookie privileges,” Kent said, and shut the door in his face.

some nebulous universe called domesticity series by alwaysbuddy ★ -  established relationship | fluff | humor

keep your hands on me - explicit | short | sex dream | feminization | dirty talk af

“Not a girl then?”

“It was, yeah,” Jack admits, throat feeling a little tight, “you were the girl.

”in search of our lost time - explicit | short | hurt/comfort | bathtub sex

Jack rests a hand lightly on the porcelain, skimming forward to catch one of Kent’s wrists, where it’s dangling off the edge of the tub. Kent immediately turns his hand over, and wraps two fingers around Jack’s own wrist loosely, tugging in a way that says, why aren’t you in here with me yet, huh?

Maybe I'm Not Too Young to be a Cowboy by bsmog - teen | medium | retirement | injury

Kent is 34 years old. He's won everything there is to win in the world of hockey (just not this year, let's not talk about it, okay?), but ever since an injury took Jack out of hockey altogether, there's something missing on the ice. What the hell is the offseason for if not to find out what that is?

If only anything was ever that easy where Jack Zimmermann was concerned.

Wait So Long by perfectpro - gen | short | fluff | wedding and marriage | domesticity

Let it never be said that Kent Parson doesn’t work for what he wants. Trembling, Kent gets off his knee, but he doesn’t close the ring box. “I don’t want to win another Cup alone. I don’t want to win another Cup without you,” he explains, and it’s a confession if it’s anything. He doesn’t know how to make it not true.

Gordie Meow by madameofmusic - teen | short | fluff | established relationship | humor

Kent’s cats are allergic to Jack. This isn’t even the most ridiculous thing Jack’s had to deal with.

Kent “No Chill” Parson by MisconductandMimosas - gen | short | humor | all-star weekend au | established relationship, if you read this first 

“Be on my team for the All-Star game,” Kent said suddenly.

Jack chuckled, “They haven’t even announced next year’s format yet. It could be by division this year. Even if it’s not, they could make us opposing captains.”

[dictacontrion]

I'm a different anon to the previous and I'm actually really interested to hear your thoughts on Pansy and Draco now. I would love it if you could write some meta on it?

Prefect!Pansy and Prefect!Draco - it’s an interesting question, right? Thanks for being lovely about it, anon!! Here’s why I think Pansy and Draco were the right choices.

As with Ron, we have to consider the options, and consider them in the context of the war. Dumbledore would have needed prefects who were as tactically advantageous as possible, but in the context of Slytherin house, and given the choices he had there, he would’ve needed to use slightly different criteria than he would for Gryffindor. He wouldn’t have been able to think so much in terms as making the Order stronger, as in terms of making sure that the Death Eaters didn’t gain strength or attack Hogwarts.

Unlike with Ron I don’t think we can make an argument that at 15 either Pansy or Draco were especially upstanding or full of leadership potential (nor do I think that Dumbledore would have made those arguments) so it comes down much more to a question of damage control.

First, the girls:

Millicent Bulstrode had shown that she was inclined towards brute force (as when she broke the rules at Duelling Club to put Hermione in a headlock, which in a magical context would suggest that she’s both violent and unpredictable). We also see signs that she’s neither liked nor respected by her peers, and JK Rowling has suggested that she’s a half-blood, which would’ve had the potential to put her in the position of having to prove herself to the Death Eaters. It’s unlikely that she would have been able to do much as a prefect in terms of keeping order or lightening the adults’ load, and hard to know how much damage she would have done. You don’t want to give authority to someone violent, unpredictable, and with something to prove to your enemies.

Daphne Greengrass and Tracy Davis are question marks tbh which probably puts them in the same category as Dean for the Gryffindors, wherein they could have been fine but, as far as we know, were not particularly advantageous (and if they were going to be particularly important to the war in some way that would make them advantageous or dangerous, we would know more about them)

Pansy Parkinson has some of the same liabilities as Millicent Bulstrode, but more advantages.

She’s already the leader of the pack so is going to be taken most seriously by her peers, and she’s going to have an interest in maintaining her status, so she’s most likely to lighten teachers’ loads (thereby giving them more time to devote to the war effort) by dealing with things independently and exercising judgment about what really really needs adult attention.

She’s not physically or magically violent. Mean, yes, and laughs and encourages it when other people do bad things, but she doesn’t instigate violence, which limits the amount and type of violence she’s going to cause with her authority as a prefect.

The Golden Trio probably could have taken her. Push comes to shove, she wasn’t going to be able to get in their way.

Pansy is clearly motivated but not clearly principled. This would be a liability in an ally, but is an asset in an enemy. She doesn’t give any sign of having actually bought into the idea of blood purity, it’s more that she’s interested in her own influence, power, and comfort. Even when she wants to turn Harry over, it’s more about an easy solution than an ideological crusade.

All of this would have made her easy for Dumbledore to manipulate if he’d needed to. She wasn’t ideologically motivated enough to go on a recruiting spree, and she was predictable in her responsiveness to promises of status, safety, luxury, and comfort -  which, by making her a Prefect, Dumbledore was demonstrating that he could make and keep.

Then the boys:

Vincent Crabbe is everything Dumbledore wouldn’t want in a prefect. Violent, loyal and closely tied to the Death Eater cause, lacking the independence or critical thinking skills to question Death Eater ideology or to negotiate/finesse orders to mitigate damaging shows of force, lacking the foresight to consider even the possibility of losing and to hedge his bets accordingly (/act less poorly/respond to incentives from Dumbledore), willing to recruit, and willing to recruit through coercion and threats. He would’ve been a disaster.

Greg Goyle is in the same position as Crabbe, basically.

Theodore Nott might have been an interesting choice, because he’s smart and because he’s not a joiner/part of Draco’s gang, but he is the son of a Death Eater and we don’t see signs that he wasn’t on board with that, plus his loner status probably made him harder to manipulate. Also, tbh, making him Prefect likely would have incurred the wrath of Lucius Malfoy, which Dumbledore needed not to do - more about that below.

Blaise Zabini could have been another interesting choice, but with the same issues as Theodore Nott - not clearly manipulable, not as clearly influential, and not a problem to not pick him.

Draco Malfoy was basically the only possibility because of his father, and outside of that he’s a compromise choice in a lot of (understandable) ways.

If Draco hadn’t been made a Prefect Lucius would have thrown a fit and retaliated. We know that Lucius is on the Board of Governors and was able to arrange to have Dumbledore expelled from the school in Chamber of Secrets. That wasn’t a risk Dumbledore could take.

If Draco hadn’t been made a Prefect Lucius would have been genuinely angry and might have lashed out. Following Fourth Year, when Dumbledore had to make the decision, Lucius and the Death Eaters were ascendant and Lucius still felt he had, and did have, the power to direct their attention. Giving him a reason to be angry, and to direct that anger at Hogwarts (which he’d already shown he would do - children were definitely not off limits, as with the whole Chamber of Secrets/basilisk situation), was unwise. Not that Dumbledore couldn’t have taken him, but that it could have caused collateral damage that would have made people panic, disrupted the social order, had kids pulled out of Hogwarts (where especially the half-bloods and Muggle-borns would be even more vulnerable), and depleted the Orders resources and attention.

Like Pansy, his social status means that he has an interest in maintaining his authority by dealing with things himself instead of calling in the adults unless it’s really necessary

Having Draco as a Prefect gave Dumbledore and other adults in charge a legitimate reason to keep an eye on him and interact with him. If they’d succeeded in bringing him over that would have been a good cover for convincing him and arranging meetings, and if, as happened, he was going to becoming a Death Eater that meant that they were going to be more able to get to know how he worked and to monitor his behavior.

Being a Prefect would keep Draco busy - it filled his time, kept him out of the common room, kept him on patrol and therefore meant that he was often being patrolled by both the other Prefects and teachers.

Draco talked a big game but, like his father, was largely interested in power. Being the one to give Draco power meant both that Dumbledore could see how he was going to behave once he had it (which could be useful for any number of reasons to do with understanding and changing how the war might unfold) and that Draco would have a little bit of an incentive not to go against Dumbledore too openly or to associate working with Dumbledore with getting what he wanted. At least, it would have made Draco understand that his father wasn’t the one and only power broker in town. 

tl;dr: Neither Pansy nor Draco was a perfect choice, but they were the best ones available as far as we can see. Neither of them is a hard-line advocate of blood purity, neither of them is gratuitously violent, both are predictable and can be manipulated, both of them would have done the basic job without needing a lot of energy/time from the adults, both have enough social power that it would have been advantageous for Dumbledore to get a sense for how they worked and to give them reasons to understand what he could offer them, and both of them were worth keeping a close eye on. And, with Draco, picking him was probably very tactically necessary.