#(“”“he only did it because he was lashing out and acting out of spite for thor”“”)

[uniiiquehecrt]

Do y'all remember that time that Loki decided to actively commit genocide of his own race out of literally nothing but spite and hatred for himself during an intense mental breakdown because I sure do.

[cotton-could]

Sweet damn, that movie is 20 years old already??

This movie means a lot to me, the message not only aged well but it's still meaningful to plenty of people. Society pushes the idea that an adult needs to be mature, even in your interests and will look at you wrong if you show interest in stuff that are intended to be for kids or for babies. But I love how Spongebob doesn't fit that criteria! Yes, he's an adult who's stupidly childish and likes stuff for babies and he's a functional man who continues to be himself despite the mockery. He doesn't care if he's being weird or not, he knows his interests aren't something bad. Spongebob manages to be immature but act like an adult when needed which makes him an interesting foil to Squidward and the Bikini Bottomies; they're less childish than Spongebob but they're definitely more bitter and less successful. In the show it was implied that they have given up on their dreams and desires for whatever reason and they lashed out at Spongebob for having a dream 💀 but this is quite realistic since IRL, there's plenty of people who are bitter because they didn't fulfilled their dreams or were done dirty by life and they take it out on people who did nothing to deserve it. And interestingly enough, in spite of coming off as more "mature" they mostly show it when it's not needed such as being a bunch of condescending assholes to Spongebob or making fun of him having a loving relationship with his grandma, but ironically, it makes them even more immature than Spongebob. They don't act like adults when it's really needed, they just behave like bratty and immature bullies who can't stand seeing a person being everything they can never be; a happy person.

And this movie highlights it even more. Growing up sucks and there's nothing we can do about it because we're all next, but... not everything is bad. Growing up also means discovering and enjoying new things, doing stuff you couldn't do before but now can, new opportunities and even better; making your inner child happy. Spongebob spent the whole movie proving that he can still have fun while being a responsable adult and the song "Just a Kid" by wilco gave an inspiring lyric that helps me push forwards; "Everybody, everyone, somebody, anyone has to grow up. Let's have some fun!" It makes me realize that sulking about how growing up is lame won't lead me to anywhere so at this point, it's better to accept it and go on with my life.

Anyways, happy 20th birthday to this goated movie.

[reds-writings]

hii!! can i request

10. lashing out even though they know they will regret it from the angst prompts for rust

here's some sunny and rust angst! felt like it was fitting for when she first starts helping rust!

The pointed silence bleeding from you was more unnerving than Rust thought it could be. He had lashed out, shamefully so he’d regretfully admit. Marty had pissed him off a great deal earlier today and the fact that he always had to be hovered over one way or another was igniting a frenzy of feeling particularly fucking agitated. He loathed feeling so helpless. Whether it was a fragile sense of masculinity that had been subconsciously engrained within him or he was just being a dick because he could would be a question for the ages. 

The clinking sounds of dishes that the flow of sink water couldn’t drown out made him feel guiltier by the minute. It was the lack of routinely nonsensical humming during any simple task that made an impact. Your spark had been put out for the afternoon. 

And he was the rotten asshole who did it. 

Over what? All because you had to help him eat due to muscles of his own still on the mend from being stuck in a shitty hospital bed for weeks on end? There was certainly no need to harshly shove you away along with the plate of carefully crafted lunch you prepared to the floor in a heaping mess with spiteful curses. His resentful act had you frozen in place. Rust wasn’t the first patient to be so callous when you were just trying to do your job but it hurt all the same. He was a tough nut to crack so far in the two weeks you’ve been with him but today it was made clear your efforts might not ever be valued. 

The minute wobble of your lower lip was nearly imperceptible but the glaze that took form over your eyes sure wasn’t. Hating to be seen so emotionally exposed, you wordlessly stood up to grab a few paper towels to hopelessly clean up Marty’s rug. There’d be a big stain but you were sure Rust was due for more of a verbal lashing than you would be once you relayed the day’s events. 

God, this job didn’t pay nearly enough as it should with some of the crap you had to put up with. 

Rust kept his uneasy gaze on the TV in front of him. Old football highlights sounded foreign to his ears as he had trouble fighting away wanting to grovel for his mistreatment towards you. The most undeserving of receiving anything in the shape of cruelty. Marty would have him by the fucking ear, that much was true, but that bothered him less than his current predicament of trying to formulate a formal apology. One that wasn’t tinged with predictable apathy or a mashup of bumbling words. 

The sound of water suddenly shut off and the soft padding of your feet drew close again. His eyes darted towards your choice of socks for the day. Adorned with cartoonish succulents, a joke scrawled out near your calves: ‘What’s up succas?’ They were awful, but you had been excited to present them as soon as you stepped through the door this morning. It just made him feel more shitty. 

“Would you like for me to leave early today? I can have someone else come in for your night doses and bandage dressing.” You’d never sounded so prim. It was jarring. 

He fumbled for a strong answer, “...N-no.”

“Would you like me to sit away and give you space for the remainder of the day?” 

Your posture was set in a stiff cast. Unease infiltrated the room, growing thicker by the second as his brain wracked through all its confusion and veining remorse. You were like a different person. Forced into the protocol of taking residence as an even-keeled, unfeeling nurse. You wouldn’t allow him the image of being thrown off-kilter by his meanness. You could only let people walk all over you for so long in these instances even if shoving away instinctual kindness and immediate forgiveness hurt. 

“No.” He tried and failed at sounding more resolute. What was wrong with him? 

You didn’t say anything, visibly deflating as you pressed a thumb to the space between your brows. It was clear he had you at a loss of what to do but he couldn’t hold you as an awkward hostage any longer. 

“I’m sorry.” It felt as if he had to force it out of his windpipe. Uncomfortable and unsure.

“Okay…”

“It was rude of me to-...behave as I did.” His eyes were everywhere but yours. If you weren’t so drained you’d giggle at the absurdity of Rust looking so timid. You straightened up to do your best at upholding your firm resolve. 

“There’s no excuse for it. It won’t happen again.” He pushed out and you just nodded. A teeny smile teasing the edge of your lips. You were getting a kick out of this. 

“You’re not bad to…” He hesitated and you waited.

That spark was coming back. 

“...have around.” It might’ve been impossible for him to look more embarrassed than he did from his spot on the couch. You put a hand to your mouth to suppress your growing grin, turning to the side in mock thought over his apology. It wasn’t the most graceful but you figured it was something coming from him. Turning back to him you yielded,

“I will humbly accept this apology. But we have to watch whatever I wanna watch before I leave tonight. The girliest of picks to make me feel better.”

He mulled it over but knew there was no winning right away, “Sure.”

You wiggled in a mini burst of victory before plopping down on the couch, still conscious of his need for space, and smiled as you got comfortable. 

“I’m thinking along the lines of Pretty in Pink. Oh! Maybe Roman Holiday-...” You rambled on about the movies you planned on torturing him with that he’d positively pretend to sleep through.

He was going to need help from whatever higher power was willing for him to navigate the colorful force that was you. 

[superbat-lmao]

Bruce is off world and Cass snaps.

She cuts the feed to the cave, traps each of them in a separate holding cell, and truth serums them.

She is sick and tired of them lying to each other, lying to themselves.

Once and for all, she wants them to just talk to each other.

Jason is the easiest one to start talking, he’s been the only one talking about anything close to honest the whole time. Sure, usually it’s yelling about it on a rooftop but now it’s yelling about it in the cave. He fights talking about the good memories because they hurt more than the bad ones.

Damian has the fewest grievances. He hasn’t been around long enough to have years worth of issues, and most of it stems from the same problem.

Dick and Tim are actually the biggest problems.

Tim has the most to talk about. He’s angry with all of them. Jason and Damian are the most obvious, but he has just as many grievances with Dick if not more. They have all hurt him, not accepted him, rejected him. He isolates rather than talking to any of them about this because every time he objects to how he’s treated it’s like he’s breaking the family. He should be thankful Jason’s back at all or that Damian isn’t trying to kill him. If he says anything it sends them both into spirals that makes them avoid the family and then it’s his fault, so he leaves as much as he can.

Dick is the most brutal. They all look up to him, even if they don’t want to admit it. He proved it could be done. And every single one of them got a Bruce that already used him as a practice run of having kids. He is expected to handle it, to leash his anger, to be more open than Bruce. And he does it, but the level to which it’s a performance? Only Cass and Bruce have a real inkling to how much he’s acting. Jason saw more of it than he should have before he died, but even he wasn’t actually prepared for Dick’s honest thoughts on all of them.

Jason: Dick never wanted me here, Tim picked up the mantle as though nothing had changed, and Damian is the most judgmental and least experienced. I no longer have the innocence I did as Robin because the world has proven that morality doesn’t protect you. I cannot give up my ideologies for emotional vulnerability with people who do not care, it got me killed once and it’ll kill me again.

Damian: I was told my worth here was based on my sole existence. To have to unlearn my upbringing while surrounded by others that challenge my worth and place in this family is a level of vulnerability I will do anything to avoid.

Tim: Jason tried to kill me, Damian tried to kill me, and Dick doesn’t care. Every single thing I have accomplished has been in spite of my supposed brothers, who have only distrusted or hurt me. If I point this out, it is my fault for driving them away no matter how much they hurt me.

Dick: Jason died, Tim asked me to be Robin, took it for himself, Jason tried to kill Tim and Bruce, and Damian lashes out at every available opportunity and somehow this is my fucking problem. I did not sign up to be a parent or even a brother. I am not responsible for their decisions. I agreed to be responsible for teammates and missions, not the emotional vulnerability of a family I never asked for. I handle myself and they should be capable of dealing with their own problems without dragging me into them. They aren’t. I was an only child and had the responsibility of being a parent thrust on me when I never agreed to it. I have my own life and my own problems that take a back burner to anything else in this godforsaken family. I moved away and am still fucking here.

But even talking to each other like this can’t solve everything. Because for as upset as they are with each other, it’s Bruce that they’re actually upset with.

[raisedbythetv89]

Searching the depths of hell of tumblr for specific scenes and unfortunately straying so far from home meant I happened across a bangel that was mad because they saw a spuffy call Angel and Buffy’s kiss in the finale fan service and instead of giving ANY actual explanation or justification for how it wasn’t they instead chose to go with “they called the kiss fan service like all of spuffy wasn’t fan service”

GIRL WHAT 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

First of all: sounds like you know it was fan service too and have no counter argument so you’re just lashing out instead….

Second: “any elements, be it visual nods, referencing older or forgotten media related to material, plot detours or otherwise, that are not needed by the actual plot or character development, but are included as nods to, or pandering to the long-term fans of the material”

IM CRYING IM LAUGHING SO HARD😹😹😹😹😹😹

BEING A HATER IS MAKING YOU DUMB AND I FIND THAT INCREDIBLY FUNNY

Calling a relationship that developed over SIX SEASONS and into the comics that radically impacts the story as well as both Buffy and Spike fan service I’m literally on the FLOOR 😹😹😹

I mean yeah sure I’ll give you Spike’s popularity in part kept him alive which is obviously the only way for their relationship to have happened but the term “fan service” specifically speaks to adding things in for NO OTHER REASON but to make certain fans happy. Also what joss put spike and buffy through individually as well as collectively????? FAN PUNISHMENT ACTUALLY LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF FAN SERVICE. He literally was like fine you can keep spike but I’m putting EVERYONE through hell 🙃 (which also he did with Bangel - he was forced to make Angel a vampire and so he went FINE he’s gonna be creepy as FUCK and still low key evil even when he’s supposed to be good! Because he’s a spiteful, petty, vindictive piece of shit - WE WERE BOTH HURT BY THE SAME MAN WHY DO YOU KEEP ATTACKING US)

They are SO MAD because bangel is so clearly not end game (they wouldn’t be acting this way if they felt “they had won”) and because spike did all the things angel never did. And instead of being mad AT JOSS they’re mad at spuffy’s like we were in the writers room or something 💀

[bau-drabbles]

how about where hotch is toxic? (with his work) 👀 he doesn’t mean to be but it happens and the reader can’t take any more 🥺

i loved this :") thank you for asking baby <3 sorry its so rushed ☠

dangerous love

it was hard to see hotch lately. he didn't feel like him. physically, he was. but mentally emotionally, it just wasn't the man you adored. and you tried hard to look past it, understand him and try to love him but you weren't a priority to him anymore.

suddenly his work came before you, you were constantly on the back burner of every decision. he just didn't care for you like you did for him. and it horrible, to know he didn't hold you as close to his heart like you did with him. you could feel the love vanishing by the day

it was turning into a fight, like it always did. and he was getting irritated, like he always did. normally you'd try to be the voice of reason but it felt like the feelings were all trapped into you, ready to burst

"i don't care" you blurt out, stopping him in his tracks. he pauses, a brow raised at your outburst. and you remember all those wonderful characteristics that you hold so dear have vanished. all the things that made him, him were nowhere to be found. he was the unit head chief, not the man that you loved with the entirety of your heart

because looking, truly looking at hotch was looking at a man you didn't recognise anymore. he couldn't be yours, he was too cold. too cruel. this couldn't be what man you adored. he couldn't be this heartless. and you could've chalked it up to being a busy day, he was stressed inevitably he was going to lash out. but time and time again, surely you deserved better than to have a partner who refused to communicate. the fact remained that he was a dangerous love, one that you couldn't have. one that couldn't subject yourself to, hoping he would change his ways.

the heart has its own memory and you have forgotten nothing of how he treated you.

"what?" he snaps you out of your thoughts, hands deep within his pockets. his frown has deepened on his forehead, a look he usually reserved for strangers never for you. but the two were beginning to be undistinguishable.

"nothing" you tried to swallow these suffocating feelings, every couple had them. this was no different.

"it's clearly something" the way he speaks with passive aggressiveness, the way he's so cold with his words, it makes you boil with anger. and the next words leave your lips, spite and hatred practically dripping with them. for once the rose tinted glasses have shattered and have left you reeling with the truth, something you never could've anticipated.

"fine. you don't deserve love, hotch. you don't deserve anyones love. you don't know what the hell to do with it. you use them until it satisfies you and then you act like they don't exist. you don't deserve anyone. you deserve to rot in your office, surrounded by your paperwork and all alone. the only thing you've ever loved" and though every word felt like a stab to your heart, your mind had been clearer than it had been for a long time.

"wha-" "we're through hotch" the words you never imagined to ever say to this man have been spoken with a heavy heart. how desperately you yearned for things to have took a different route, for wracking your brains to find a solution to this problem.

only if he loved you as much as you loved him there wouldn't have been problems to this extent in the first place. you walk out of his office, ignoring his pleas for you to stay. ignoring how all the team were staring at you, shutting everything out until you reached your car. that's where you let the tears slip and run down your cheeks, gasping for air because deep down you begged him to fight for you. because yout thought he would

a loathing for him spiralled deep within you, how he could've out you through his all if he cared for you? if he loved you like he said he did?

and still after all that, you cared for his own heart more than yours. you could watch him for a minute and find a million things you loved about him. he was everywhere. in your veins, your dreams, in books, in your music. there was no use trying to forget him. for when the hour ticked midnight, there he would still be. running between the stillness of your soul and the pounding of your heart.

[findafight]

tbh i think ppl that genuinely think steve dragged her there kind of take nancy's behavior at the party in the best light/take nancy at her word bc,,,, we see nancy excited for the party to the point of spending time making a costume and encouraging jonathan to come only for her to start lashing out at steve right after they get there. like i always felt so bad for him when tommy and billy start harassing him and nancy literally rolls her eyes and just stalks off only to start heavily drinking specifically to spite steve given what she says about how she's just acting normal like he wanted (also that smug look she sends him right after continuing to drink). idk the way nancy starts acting out (this makes her sound like a 5 y/o throwing a tantrum but,,,, if the shoe fits) could make it seem as if she's been forced to do something against her will when taken out of context but in context she's literally just acting like a huge asshole to her boyfriend bc she's upset about something she hasn't even told him about. i get upset when i think about it too much bc ppl focus way more on the bullshit scene (for obvious reasons) but nancy really was treating steve like shit that whole night.

yeah like. Owens talks about "the anniversary effect", and I think that's hitting Nancy hard, and so she's lashing out! She's a teenager and she doesn't know how to handle her grief and her desire for justice. That's fine and she deserves to yell and cry about it. But she also isn't communicating what she actually needs from Steve because I don't think she really realized it until she saw the redhead in the library. And dropping that on him and kind of freaking out about it at school wasn't really the most appropriate place to have a deep discussion on what to do. (idk why people view this as steve just flat out refusing to talk about it ever, it's clear to me he's nervous about it because they're at school and he doesn't want to be overheard and doesn't want to risk the government hurting them/their families)

We see Steve do his best to support Nancy by going to the dinners with the Hollands, and also encouraging her to go to the party, after we have been shown Nancy talking about it and inviting Jonathan and excited for it. He is engaging her with something she was looking forward to. idk why people view this as steve just flat out refusing to talk about it ever, it's clear to me he's nervous about it because they're at school and he doesn't want to be overheard and doesn't want to risk the government hurting them/their families. Yeah maybe if she had asked him to come with her on the plan to entrap Owens he would have said no, but at least he would have known where she was at and what she was thinking, instead of the sudden one-off talk they had in the library.

I guess if people only watched tina's party and not anything that came before they could see nancy as completely correct and that steve was pretending while she didn't want to (instead of mostly pretending with Steve and having had one freak out about it in a place that people could overhear) and that he dragged her there. But it's astounding that people can watch Nancy smile and give the flyer to Jon and still say Steve was a bad boyfriend for taking her.

She is definitely drinking vindictively in the scene, even though for all Steve knows Nancy genuinely wanted to go and have fun at the party. He's trying to get her to slow down and idk I've seen some takes as this showing Steve is controlling but legitimately what the fuck else are you going to do when you see someone you care about (friend/partner/whatever) ignoring you and being kind of an ass and drinking way too much while obviously upset about something. Of course he would encourage her to slow down!

He doesn't know what's wrong because Nancy actually has a habit of not talking or communicating to her boyfriend what is upsetting her. Nancy is so over pretending but she has only barely broached that with Steve. He did try to shut it down, but I don't remember him saying he was unwilling to talk about it, just that it was a bad idea, and that Nancy was coming with this "tear the lab down" thing from nowhere.

Part of the problem is that Nancy had feelings for Jonathan and didn't know what to do about that, and so decided that actually, everything was Steve's fault, because he wanted to be normal, he wanted to go to the party and have fun, he wanted to date and be in love, when, to drunk Nancy's mind, she wanted none of that. (even though we are shown that that isn't true) So she's going to drink and she's going to have fun and she's not even in love. (idk it depends on the day for me if nancy was faking the whole time or did, at some point, fall in love with him and then out of love.) The whole party scene is a mess for Stancy and poor Steve has no idea why his girlfriend is drinking too much and suddenly acting like they're fighting when there's no reason to. and then he gets yelled at and told she's pretending to love him.

[bonefall]

so, does blossomfall have 2 dishonor names? shredbloom & clearface?

Yup.

That second one definitely hits her ESPECIALLY hard because of the first. Shredbloom was Bramblestar-given.

Spiderleg and Mousewhisker, they needed to see some kind of punishment for their crimes. For Mousewhisker, 'Stupidhead' was an ATTEMPT to try and make him think about how he hadn't thought through his actions and ended up supporting the Dark Forest, in spite of having no malice (it was too funny that it backfired ofc). For Spiderleg, 'Spiderbite' did its job at making Spiderleg wear his mistake and pay for his crimes, considering he didn't kill anyone.

But for Blossomfall, her problem was feeling disconnected from the Clan. From her parents, siblings, clanmates. She wasn't a nice person and loneliness has a way of making people act worse. But she couldn't kill anyone, she talked a big game but couldn't bring herself to hurt her sister. She wasn't evil-- she was a delinquent lashing out and the DF took advantage of that.

Squilf realized this (possibly even because Ivypool herself recognized it, she was dating Blossom before they broke up pretty badly in ThunderClan's Tempest) and argued for Bramblestar to give Blossom a different punishment from the other two. Something that would help her get more integrated into the Clan, like... cat community service. Kitchen patrols and such.

But he couldn't be convinced, it was only fair to give all three the same punishment.

But the title 'Shredbloom' did NOT have the desired effect. It just made her worse because it was amplifying the underlying problem.

(Btw I'm still figuring out the way she joins the Kin, and more importantly, how she comes back. I'm thinking a large part of it is Briar and Bumble both declaring they will 'sponsor' her as well as the fact she has three children... and ThunderClan just learned a whole lesson about what separating children from their families does to a person)

"Clearface" was impostor-given. It was shockingly good for what ThunderClan expects from Bramble "bad namer" Star. She mouthed off at him, and without any patience, Bramblefake stormed up to his ledge and announced, "Blossomfall has forgotten her place once again, and believes that her words have value when her whole life is a patched-pelt of her malicious, selfish mistakes. The clan would be better off if she was invisible, out of sight and out of mind, and to prove this, she may live as Clearface for half a moon."

It was seen as BRUTAL... but not completely undeserved. And it did its job perfectly and destroyed her in one hit. She falls in line after that, knowing she's already gone waaay past her last chance here in ThunderClan.

[arcielee]

Interview With a Writer

Time for another installment of my series Interview With a Writer with the talented, the wonderful @inthedayswhenlandswerefew. Thank you as always for your time and allowing this self-indulgent series to continue!

Dividers by @saradika 💜

Name: inthedayswhenlandswerefew

Story: Comet Donati

Paring: modern Aemond Targaryen x female!reader

Warnings: 18+ mature themes. Sex, drugs, boy bands. Be mindful of chapter warnings.

What inspired the plot for Comet Donati?

I think it will surprise absolutely no one when I say that Comet was born out of my love for One Direction. While I’m at work (I’m a high school teacher), I’ll often put on a Spotify playlist for me and the students to listen to. I like to change it up…for a few days we’ll listen to 80s rock, and then Beyoncé Radio, and then classical music, it’s always something different. At the very end of last school year in June, I got in the mood to revisit my love of One Direction. As I was listening to and falling in love with those songs all over again—History, No Control, Heart Attack, etc.—the idea of the HOTD characters being a boy band occurred to me, first as something ludicrous but then as a weird but potentially viable fic plot.

My long-time readers know that the first specific scene I envision is always one of the last scenes of a story, and while I was listening to that One Direction playlist one afternoon I saw the very end of Comet Donati: a girl on a farm looking out a kitchen window and watching Aemond return to her after a very fraught, magical, horrible, amazing summer touring with the band together. The very first sentence I wrote in my Word Doc was the last sentence of Chapter 10.

And thus, Comet arrived on Earth! :)

So the scene that inspired the rest of Comet Donati…

It was Aemond on that damn Gold Star motorcycle, which is another astronomy reference!

Are you always aware of how your stories will end? Or have you ever balked and changed something?

I always know the ending from the very start, and I’ve never changed one. Because I start writing with the end so clearly in mind, changing it would undermine a lot of the foreshadowing, themes, and character arcs that were present throughout the story, and would honestly feel totally disorienting to me. With that said, there are occasions when unexpected details pop up (ex. in Comet, Aemond clicking so well with Stargirl’s parents wasn’t something that I foresaw or really thought about before writing Chapter 9), but generally I have it all set it stone before the first chapter is ever posted.

Can you give us some insight on your interpretation of Aemond and Aegon?

Aegon and Aemond both have a lot of trauma (clearly), but they have adapted to survive it in completely different ways. Aemond is a brooding, perfectionist, desperately insecure person who lashes out like a wounded animal when he feels wronged. Aegon is the opposite. He directs his anxiety and self-loathing inwards harming only himself, and rarely shares it with anyone else (Stargirl of course is a massive exception).

While Aemond wants to be taken seriously, Aegon dives headfirst into his lackadaisical nature and exacerbates it, largely out of spite for Viserys and to a lesser extent Alicent and Otto. He is lazy, bombastic, rootless, chaotic, an unrepentant addict…and, in perhaps his greatest act of rebellion, someone who is genuinely affectionate and nonjudgmental. Aemond is fangs and claws and storms and wreckage; Aegon has this warm, contagious glow that distracts from his profound inner darkness.

Aemond is someone who always felt uncool, unloved, and unremarkable. At home he was mostly ignored by Viserys (despite Aemond’s attempts to bond with him). Alicent, while well-intentioned, was often distracted by her own marital unhappiness, and furthermore was emotionally closer to Helaena and Daeron than Aemond. At school, he didn’t make friends or get girls in the same effortless way that Aegon or Daeron did.

Like Aegon said in Chapter 3: “I had friends. He had grudges.” But when Aemond masterminded Comet and became an international popstar, he finally got the camaraderie and recognition he always craved, and for the first time in his life felt worthy of love. Losing all of that after the accident at the Budokan was psychologically devastating for him.

When he meets Stargirl, Aemond wants her in a way that is immediate, overpowering, and completely unlike anything he’s ever experienced before…but his fear of losing her—and his lifelong, intense phobia of rejection—sabotages their relationship over and over again.

Was there anything in specific that inspired Stargirl?

Stargirl is, and I say this with nothing but love, the most Hot Mess Express reader insert that I’ve written so far. She is very smart and intuitive, a natural therapist, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t routinely make questionable decisions while touring with the band.

She’s able to help others but struggles when it comes to protecting herself. I think that’s extremely relatable. I also love psychology as a discipline. I’m definitely not a professional; I’ve taken college-level psychology courses and taught it as a high school class, but I would never consider myself to be an expert. However, my interest in psychology (and in redeeming Sigmund Freud!) certainly bled into this fic.

As far as Stargirl’s backstory… I think that unfortunately, most women have had experiences when we were made to feel ashamed, unworthy, unlovable, immoral, etc. because of something related to our sexuality. It’s incredibly frustrating to see this repeat generation after generation. Stargirl has put a lot of time and effort into reprogramming herself from her fundamentalist Christian upbringing/community, and shedding that heartbreak and cynicism as much as possible. I think she’s an inspirational character, and a manifestation of my hope for our society’s future.

How does Stargirl complement Aemond? How does this compare to her relationship with Aegon?

Therapists have to be natural optimists, I believe. They have to be able to look at someone who is struggling and see the best in them, to envision a better path forward. When Stargirl meets Aemond in Rome, she genuinely—from the very first moment—cannot fathom thinking that he is unattractive or pitiful. She thinks he is fascinating, intelligent, talented, charming, and of course fine af (and we all agree!).

Her very first act is to put him at ease by addressing his scar/blindness immediately and in a way that is lighthearted and teasing without being cruel. Aemond is used to people either ignoring the accident entirely (awkward) or outright pitying him (even worse). Stargirl does neither.

Aemond is a source of strength for Stargirl; he is protective of her in a way that can override his own paranoia and resentment (ex. when he notices that she is crying on the jet in Chapter 5 or when he banishes Shelby in Chapter 8).

They share an organic chemistry and respect for each other that—over and over again—they have to fight their way back to. Both Stargirl and Aemond want to make the world a better place, albeit in entirely different ways, and I definitely see them turning into a bit of a power couple in that respect.

Stargirl’s relationship with Aegon is easier (as his demons present differently than Aemond’s), but also isn’t something that could ever become a stable, marriage-like partnership. Stargirl doesn’t desire Aegon in that way, nor is he equipped to be in a committed relationship with anybody (not even Selena Gomez!).

Yet fundamentally—no matter how many years or miles are between them—Aegon and Stargirl feel safe with each other. Aegon knows that Stargirl can see that he’s wounded and yet loves him unconditionally anyway. Stargirl knows that Aegon would never think less of her because of her sexuality or any other choices she might make in life. I think of them as platonic soulmates, which is a little bit inaccurate because they aren’t literally platonic. But they love each other in a way that is entirely separate from if/when/how they have sex and without ownership or expectations.

In the past, you created OCs that might prickle underneath our skin but we ended up loving them. Except for fucking Shelby. What inspired her?

I’ve had a few experiences recently that got me thinking about influencer culture and social media obsession. I think we all know people who put a ton of effort into crafting an online narrative that is radically different from their real life. Shelby is someone who rode the early influencer wave to stardom and now is kind of stuck. She doesn’t know how to create authentic experiences because she’s trained herself to manufacture them for years; similarly, she doesn’t know how to nurture genuine relationships. But Shelby also doesn’t know what comes next in her life. Aemond’s accident gives her a valuable rebranding opportunity: she can shift from “early-twenties hottie” to “self-sacrificing caretaker,” eventually evolving into wife and mommy blogging content. She clings to that so fiercely because she honestly, horrifyingly does not know who she is without a label her millions of subscribers/followers agree upon. And Shelby is willing to do some pretty deplorable things to try to keep Aemond away from Stargirl.

I think my own understanding of Shelby is actually a lot more compassionate than Comet readers might suspect. I don’t feel that she has any desire to harm Aemond, and on the contrary does care for him in the way that she knows how to. She’s definitely wrong for him, and she unintentionally massacres his mental health on a daily basis. But she really, truly thinks that she’s helping him by hiding his “humiliating” disability. She is so engrained in the shallow, deceptive, trope-conforming influencer lifestyle that whoever she was before has been entirely forgotten.

Were there any other characters in your story that you enjoyed writing?

Obviously, I adore the dynamics of the whole band. It was a nice change to write Team Black characters as good guys for the first time: Luke admiring and supporting Aemond in that worshipful sort of way, Rhaena being gentle and intuitive but also increasingly brave, Baela figuring out how to harness her natural assertiveness into advocating for her own ambitions.

Cregan’s dysfunctional childhood hits home for me in a lot of ways, and I absolutely loved him coming into his own as a good father both literally and as a father figure for Comet (especially with Aemond as he prepares for his own fatherhood journey!). Poor Criston definitely needs Cregan’s help parenting this boy band of feral raccoons. Criston is TIRED! Let the man rest!

Finally, I would like to shock everyone by announcing that Jace was one of my favorite parts of writing this fic. He’s a tool, but he also has lines that he won’t cross; way down deep somewhere, he has a fundamental and irrevocable love for Comet. Jace will taunt someone until they hit him, but he rarely hits back. Jace will poke fun at Aemond, but he is also sincerely disturbed by Shelby making Aemond so miserable. Jace body shames Aegon constantly, and yet he’s the one outside the hotel room in Chapter 8 frantically asking if Aegon is okay. Additionally, Jace is really into Stargirl in a way that is completely shameless, sometimes creepy, but also randomly insightful.

There are a lot of little moments of him being concerned about Aemond/Aegon/Stargirl throughout the fic if you look for them. Like, he breaks the awkward silence for Stargirl at the Vegas buffet. Jace is only 90% evil 🥰

I’ve also never gotten to write Jace like this before and I might never get to again, but I really enjoyed it.

As a writer, I think it is safe to say we constantly daydream. How do you know what stories need to be told?

I’ll use Comet as an example. So when I first started kicking around the HOTD boy band idea while listening to One Direction songs, I fully intended to save the potential fic for when Season 2 airs next summer. There was an essence of a story, a general vibe…touring, comets, drinks, smoke…yet it wasn’t urgent or tangible. But as soon as that last scene hit me out of nowhere—Aemond returning to the farm as a better man, riding his motorcycle with displaced snow billowing out behind him—Comet Donati as a story became vivid and real and all-consuming.

As soon as I see a scene like that, I know I have to write the story, and I usually begin immediately planning out chapters that same day. Ideas and vibes flit in and out of my mind all the time, but scenes demand to be written.

Would you ever want to revisit a story for an epilogue?

I won’t say I’ll never write an epilogue, because I suppose inspiration could strike unexpectedly. However, for me, where a story ends is truly the ending. I might have vague ideas about what happens next for certain characters, but I don’t usually see scenes or hear dialogue beyond the last chapter, so trying to write an epilogue would feel forced to me. If anything, I’m usually already in the mental headspace of a new story by the time I’m finishing up the current one! With that said, it’s super heartwarming when readers ask about epilogues, because I know that means they’ve grown to love these characters and aren’t ready to say goodbye yet.

If a reader has a question about what comes next for a character, they’re always welcome to send it my way, and I’ll answer to the best of my ability. 🥰

What is next for the wonderful Miss Maggie?

So, as usual, too many things to possibly keep up with! I have a few original novel projects floating around. But… most relevant to Tumblr… I also have two (yes, TWO!!!) new House Of The Dragon fic ideas that I’m really excited about.

Just last week, one of these ideas turned into a must-write-immediately type of story when I saw the final scene while driving home from work and listening to Fall Out Boy’s second album, From Under The Cork Tree. I’ve had that album on repeat ever since!

It’s always daunting to start a new series; the time commitment is stressful, and there’s a fear of rejection as well. I remember being absolutely terrified to post the first chapter of Comet Donati because I felt like it was so different in tone from NICIY, and I worried that my readers wouldn’t connect with it. But Comet ended up working out in the long run, so I’m trying to use that lesson to talk myself out of any self-doubt.

This new series is going to be very different from Comet in both setting and tone. It’s going to be long, around 15 chapters.

And for more details, you’ll have to check back on Sunday, September 10th! :)

[gojuo]

https://www.tumblr.com/gojuo/717780379148386305?source=share

What about Aemond? Isn't he male and one of Rhaenyra's enemies why he is receiving a SPA treatment of his character, a treatment that not even the male characters of team black have lmao

Aemond may be on the Green side which means being an antagonist to Rhaenyra, but he is not her narrative foil. Aegon is Rhaenyra's foil and Aemond is Daemon's. And Daeron is the narrative foil to Aemond.

The Targtower siblings come in a package. It's Aegon and Helaena on one side being contrasted to each other: Aegon is a party animal vs. Helaena is a gentle and chaste lady; when B&C happens, Aegon turns his anger outwards towards the world and uses that anger to lash out vs. Helaena breaks into pieces, loses her mind and all of the trauma turns her into a hollow shell of her former joyful and outgoing self; Helaena commits suicide vs. Aegon lives on in spite of it all, etc.

For the other two, you aren't going to understand why Daeron is juxtaposed to Aemond if you don't know their book characters. Anyone who knows anything about F&B knows that Daeron was the single most likeable character in the entire Dance. And Aemond was a psychopath.

If I were to list book!Aemond's personality traits, I would say that he was a loud, brash, arrogant, cruel, impulsive, angry, contemptuous and scornful person. He's also ruthless, psychotic, blood-thirsty and more than a little unhinged. The Greens nearly break through Rhaenyra's forces and win the war but Aemond's recklessness and impatience fucks it all up. He murders every single member of House Strong because he had an issue with only one of them as well as doing it just because he felt like doing it. He takes Alys to bed as a spoil of war and he genocides the people of the Riverlands for funsies. He was a badass and unapologetically himself who was unafraid to speak his mind, no matter how harsh, but Aemond was no brooding, quiet and reserved type who held himself back like in the show. That's Daeron.

I call Daeron Aemond's narrative foil because he was the counterbalance to Aemond's intense personality. It is Daeron who is the quiet, reserved, pensive, and reputable man who is selflessly and completely devoted to the family. He commits/allows for heinous acts of war in Bitterbridge as retribution for what the people did to his nephew (which he regrets immensely), he fights to the bitter end to reunite with his mother and sister in King's Landing, he throws wine in Hugh's face when the man insinuates Aegon is dead, he is the favorite and most loved child of the four, etc.

In F&B, Aemond isn't particularly characterized as caring for his family much. He metaphorically rubs salt in Aegon’s wounds with his comment about how the Conqueror's Crown fits him better than it ever did Aegon, and his refusal to stick to Criston's orders and choose Alys over him and his family is what leads to the Fall of King's Landing and then snowballs into Butcher's Ball, Tumbleton, Bitterbridge, etc. If anything, book!Aemond seems to care about no one but himself — sans Alys when the time comes.

Daeron is courteous, honorable and the valiant and heroic knight of the story. He was The King Who Should Have Been (over Rhaenyra and Aegon). Near the end of the Dance, when Rhaenyra turns full psycho, it is Daeron who is still fighting the honorable fight and becomes the clear cut good guy protagonist of the narrative, trying to put an end to Queen Maegor With Teats who has turned full-on villain at this point in time.

And what happened in the show is that Daeron — the clear cut good guy of the story — has been merged together with the character of Aemond — the clear cut bad guy on the Greens' side.

The truth is that the hack known as Miguel Sapochnik was not going to include Daeron in the show. This is all but confirmed by his Season 2 outlines that were leaked a while back in which there was not a single mention of Daeron + Viserys saying "All of my family here," during the dinner scene in which there was no Daeron + Daemon saying "[The Greens'] three dragons," meaning no Daeron and Tessarion.

The fact that Sapochnik walked away (read: threw a hissy fit and basically got fired for his shitty S02 outlines) and then the second after that happened GRRM went on his blog to assure us fans that Daeron was in the show, they just didn't have the time to mention his existence at all in this entire season with not even 1 fucking line (bullshit) is the cherry on top. GRRM posted that blog entry on October 11th, and episode 9 — which is the very first episode which showed us Alicent's bloodline split and her four children and three grandchildren with a hastily thrown-in VFX at the obvious last minute — aired on October 16th. I suppose October was when Sapochnik got the boot lol.

So what happened was that Daeron's character was combined with Aemond's. What happens when two characters who are each other’s foils are being merged into one? Especially when one of them is a cartoon villain with little to no depth and the other is the classical hero archetype? You get the belief that the Aemond of the show has been whitewashed.

(Off topic, but personally, I don’t like calling what happened to show!Aemond “whitewashing”, because that insinuates there was a deliberate attempt to cover up Aemond’s more than unpleasant book personality by sugarcoating his canon actions — like how the show did with Rhaenyra — but that’s not what the show did. Showrunners and writers just gave Aemond Daeron’s book personality, and there is nothing sugarcoated or whitewashed about Daeron. He just is, objectively, the good guy.)

Now back to the topic: what happens when two narrative foils get merged into one? The character needs to become a foil to someone else. And this new Frankenstein-ish Aemond/Daeron mishmash became the foil to Aegon. Of course, Aemond will always be, no matter what changes about the show, the narrative foil to Daemon: they are second sons, they die to each other in an epic dragon battle, they are both the villains of their respective sides, their names are anagrams of each other, etc. However, in Season 1, it is not quite Daemon Aemond is being juxtaposed to. Not yet anyways, no. In Season 1, Aemond is being juxtaposed to Aegon.

That is why we got the cringe scene of “‘Tis I who studies the sword, ‘tis I who studies history, ‘tis I who studies philosophy,” or whatever the fuck he said. That is why we had Aemond join Criston in searching for Aegon when in F&B that didn’t happen (and stole Kingmaker Cole’s role in convincing Aegon of the crown but that’s a topic for another day). That’s why we got Aegon begging Aemond to just let him go and sail away, insinuating that Aemond was the better option to take the crown (when in F&B that was 1. literally not what happened during that scene at all and 2. one of Aegon’s biggest and most important character defining moments. And they ruined it all in favor of Aemond AAGGRGRHHHHHGG). Remember how I said Daeron was The King Who Should Have Been over both Rhaenyra and Aegon? They gave this trait to Aemond in order to contrast him to Aegon who never wanted to be king at all.

This Daeron-ification of Aemond now makes him “the better man” between him and his brother in the show, and that was done all to the detriment of Aegon's character. It’s also what led to the application of the Aegon IV/Naerys/Aemon-love triangle to the Aegon II/Helaena/Aemond-show dynamic. In the book, this never would've passed because Aemond is the worst of all four siblings, and Daeron was simply too young.

There is not a single character on House of the Dragon who has gone through the same amount of character assassination as Aegon has.

Now, all this doesn't mean that Aemond = Daeron in the show, it means that most of Daeron's characterization has been merged together with the character of Aemond. Because it was abundantly clear that Sapochnik was not going to include Daeron in the show. This is what might lead you to believe that Aemond has been whitewashed, when in fact the character is just a Frankenstein fusion of Daeron the Daring and Aemond One-Eye. Just like the Young Griff-Jon Snow/Daenerys/Cersei fiasco of GOT.

[harmony867]

As I said in my previous post JKR isn’t good at writing romance.

To preface I’m not a Romione hater, I see the vision but if i was writing the books there are things i would if write differently. The idea is good but the execution is not there.

Out of all the characters Ron reduces Hermione to tears the most. Of course she’d care about what one of her closest (or even only friend) says about her. They hit each other’s buttons; on one hand, that’s a sign of a personal connection. On the other hand, it’s not a good connection- it’s a sign of hurting. If I was JKR i would atleast write about plotline where they bicker because they enjoy it or add flirty banter because in canon their arguments always end up in tears or anger.

See, for the “bickering to love” trope to work, it has to show evolution. Bickering can become flirting, but there has to be a teasing stage. They have to know when the teasing is just sarcasm and banter and not personal attacks. Hermione and Ron don’t banter: they fight. And it’s constant. They make each other absolutely furious.

Remember when Ron got mad at her for saying that assuming that Harry put Felix felicis in his drink and accused her and thinking that he’s a bad player then started dating lavender. (Which he also had every right to do, not the part where he got mad at her for believed Harry slipped him the luck potion because Ron believed it too but suddenly it’s wrong that Hermione)

Or in GoF, when Ron got jealous and ruined her night at the Yule ball, even though she never was his first choice.

ALSO in HBP, remember when Ron found out that Hermione kissed Krum TWO YEARS AGO from ginny and starts ignoring her and dating lavender basically out of spite. (He had every right to date Lavender as he was single but so did Hermione when she kissed Krum ages ago, it made no sense to punish for a non-existing betrayal that happened two years ago. These are just the ones at the top of my head

Jealousy isn’t the only form that love takes and if I were to write HP I’d write that out, there was no need to include Krum again in HBP. We already had Ron be jealous and lash out at Hermione in GoF, I don’t understand why we had to rehash it again in HBP.

To be clear, that doesn’t mean that Ron didn’t like her, or that didn’t care for her as a person and a friend. Obviously he did, and he stuck up for her plenty of times when others were being cruel to her but most of their ‘romance’ was them fighting and being jealous. Also we can’t ignore the author’s intention, there was point where where Hermione’s character becomes stagnant and JKR refused to show Hermione is a wrong light even when does a mistake (such as sending birds to peck at him) The times when Hermione hurts him are background noise because of the author’s bias (and her tendency to make Hermione her self insert)

Jealousy is a common theme when she writes romance as when she was rushing to write hinny, she made Harry jealous (don’t get me started on ‘chest monster’ ugh) even though he never showed signs of liking her in OOTP and wasn’t jealous when she was dating Micheal corner. If I was writing hinny, I’d add more scenes with them in the third book as they were the only two people in the chamber which is a shared experience that they could bond over and since they spent that time in third year and id show hints of her more cool side as in the third book she was still acting like a fan girl. In the fourth book they could be closer friends and even help him in the tri-wizard tournament.

I like the scene where she tells Harry that she was also possessed too in OOTP. I think this is where he should have realised that he has feeling for her or the author should atleast hinted at it. Then he could be jealous that she was dating dean in the sixth book.

But alas I’m not the author so now that you know my reasoning can you blame me for liking non-canon ships more.

[atefingersdagger]

clato handholding + 47!

A Pull of the Hand

(Thank you for requesting my final fanfic of 2024!!!)

*

“Don’t.”

Cato feels the resistance at his wrist, a pulling that makes him stumble for a second. The palm is small, thin and slender fingers that can’t wrap fully around the expanse of the bone. Clove is barely half his size and there should be no reason for her to have the strength to make him move with just one tug.

His skin turns white and red when she squeezes in the same way he had done to her breasts once, firm in her stance while she strangles the flesh and flattens the epidermis with indents of her pressing. Almost, the act feels spiteful, as though she’s trying to pop his blood vessels until they are broken lines of blue. He attempts to tip his hand away, but her grip is like a metal cuff.

“Don’t what?” Cato asks her with agitation deep in his tone.

“Run off like an idiot.” Clove answers, nails digging into his hand like they had during the Reaping.

“Why, so you can kill me in my sleep?”

She looks at him like he’s stupid, as she usually does. Her usual disbelief at any comment he makes always resulting in some form of disgust that twists her pretty features into a scrunched up nose and a twitch of the side of the left side of her mouth. Clove never did seem to like him much, other than her quick smirks and chuffs.

In addition, what he said was more of an insult than a show of idiocy. A tribute from District 2 does not kill in such dishonorable ways if they have the means to do better. Especially their own partner. It’s deemed a lazy and rude action that can even be declared as a lack of loyalty and care for their home. Basically, robbing one’s opponent of a fight is a no-no.

“No, because we still have too many enemies for us to split up.”

“Scared of being on your own?”

Clove grimaces, nails digging deeper, about to break the skin. “I’m trying to be smart. It will be easier to take out 11 and 12 if we stick together.”

His blonde lashes obscure his view as he narrows his eyes. They are squinting at each other under the sunlight that leaks through the leaves and branches above them. It feels like a standoff, one waiting for the other to shoot or relent. And if he pulls away first, his skin will be scraped by her claws.

“I can take out 11 and 12 on my own.” Cato says.

“She took that bow and you know it. You know I’m better at dodging than you are. How good can you maneuver around arrows, big guy?”

“You want me to trust you?” He asks, trying to move, but she jerks him in the way he doesn’t want her to. “When you’ve done nothing but talk about how much you want to kill me?”

“I might want to kill you, but now isn’t the time. Once our enemies are dead, I’ll gut you to our hearts content.”

He finds it funny that she said “our,” like his demise is what they both desire. No, he came to win. Certainly to not lose by the hands of his district partner (Although that would be the only honorable death he could achieve in these Games).

“I think you’re scared, Princess.” He leans down to get more into her face.

Their alliance was already fragile as it is and it always will be in a fight to the death. Only one victor. Either him or her, at the least, will have to make the final blow; a twist of a blade or the neck to snap the spine. This won’t end in a friendship, so he doesn’t care that her cheeks are reddening.

“I’m not.”

“Why are you holding on to me so hard then?”

Clove scratches him a slight, but it does little damage. “To make sure you don’t run away. I think you might be scared of me, considering you’re so worried that I’ll slit that thick neck of yours while you sleep.”

He doesn’t know why – maybe he’s a masochist – but the mischievous tone Clove has as she mentions cutting him turns him on a bit. Despite them being in one of the most unsexy of situations one can comprehend and the dirt on their faces, he thinks about her thighs around his so-called ‘thick neck.’ The thought is brief, and it’s enough to make him pause.

“Or is it that I’m too much for you to handle?” Clove questions him with that same lilt in her voice. “Am I?”

“Never.”

“Oh, really?”

There’s a cold press against his neck. Immediately, he knows it’s a knife, the cool smoothness of the flat part of its steel. Cato swallows a slight, but gives no other indication of discomfort at her threat.

“I know exactly what to do if I caught you.” He chuckles.

“Do tell.”

Before he does, her fingers trail slowly from his wrist and trail their way to his palm. Clove, of all people, doesn’t seem like the type to hold hands with anyone, but she holds his then. All while her dominant hand holds that dainty knife to his throat.

“You want me to ruin the surprise? I don’t think the audience would appreciate that much, Princess.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’ll ruin the finale.”

Clove playfully gasps, her breath less than pleasant from lack of available dental hygiene. He doesn’t care though, it’s hot regardless and that’s slight frustrating. Why does she have this kind of hold on him?

“Does that mean you’ll stick around? Like blood stains to fabric?”

There’s a squeeze at his hand, and he gives back to her smaller one with as good as he got. By the lowering of her knife after a slow glide against his jugular, he can tell it’s intentions were successful. Cato doesn’t let go, instead, he intertwines their fingers until they are locked in the way barbed wire is wound together.

He chuckles again. “Of course.”

[savagebisand]

I'm gonna say this and make my peace with it but I am frequently reminded as someone watching from week to week when it comes to Only Friends, that it is so easy in a series like this to find yourself accidentally having bias toward some characters, pairings etc. It's very important that we always remain open to alternate perspective and that we remain able to pick out nuances in our favourites. Critique them when they cause trouble or make a bad choice and cheer for them when they find moments of happiness. For today, I am going to speak primarily about Sand because I've already seen a lot of a sentiment on YouTube mostly that he is justified in his scheming to reveal BostonTop and drag Ray into it and yet Ray is vilified for lashing out and pushing Sand off him in the same episode.

We have really got to stop woobifying characters like Nick and Sand and even Ray or Mew because we see them as the most traumatised or the ones with the uncaring lovers. None of them were meant to be the "innocent" character amongst the darkness. JoJo has always said all these characters are flawed and live in shades of grey.

I'm getting real tired of seeing Sand constantly elevated above Ray because one has to be worse than the other for some reason? Or seeing TopMew and SandRay pitted against each other when both have tormented romances. We can note the difference in how the relationships are developing without attacking one or the other. Sand can be the kindest and most sensible character in this series and he can still be morally reprehensible and wrong in other ways. Mew can be caring and hesitant and only want what's best for his friends and still get it wrong sometimes not out of spite but simply because he just doesn't know better.

We do not have to pretend that Sand is in the right when he isn't because we don't want to lose the Sand as a good person label. He IS a good person..he's also wrong for the mess he indirectly caused this ep. Y'all I'm a Sand stan, this blog is sandified all over. The man is me coded. He's a mirror to my soul for me. And I will still sit here and hold him accountable just as much as I would do for Ray when Ray fucks up. He made some Choices this episode and they were Bad. He prioritised his vengeance against Top over Rays emotions regarding Mew and that is Unkind.

Ray was Unkind to lash out at him and push him as well but to act like Ray was unjustified and deserves to be vilified for it is just... it don't sit right with me. He stooped as low as Sand did, he hit right where he knew it would hurt. It was tit for tat. The second Ray went into that meet up where Sand showed him the audio, you could sense Ray knew he was being used as a middle man. That shit hurts. This is the person he's been vulnerable with finally and he just got treated once again, by him, as someone easily influenced and gullible.

Sand used clever words to make it sound like he was doing this for Ray but it was heat of the moment. He was thinking purely of making Top taste his own medicine and eat his words. He wanted Top to lose Mew to prove the point that Top doesn't always get what he wants. Bonus if it meant Sand got Ray and could prove Top even more wrong because "who have you got?" Well now he has him. But honestly Ray was just a prize at the end of a long game Sand wanted to play there for a second.

It can be equally true that when he saw Ray was going to rain hell upon the group, he became more concerned as in his moment of Seeing Red he thought only Top would get hurt. He under estimated the fall out a truth like this would cause for everyone in that clique. Tell one harsh truth and a million more come pouring out. Ray got hurt because of this little ploy and he got a nasty awakening that oh yeah Ray is more important than some contest with Top, it can be equally true that he cares about Ray when Top isn't clouding his judgement and actions. That he didn't want Ray to endanger himself. That he would follow Ray and get him to a hospital safe after Ray angrily tries to take himself home under the influence because he feels betrayed, a black sheep to his friends.

But like it or not some of Sands actions this episode were still laced with calculation and manipulation and involved using others like chess pieces such as Ray and Nick, two people he normally cares about more than anyone. That moment when he smashed up his phone intentionally to get his hands on Nick's? Batshit insane behaviour. He was high tempered and irrational and he made a very big mistake because as I've said before these characters are portrayed as human young adults and it's what we do. No one is perfect 100% of the time. We all have a capacity for bad inside of us that most of the time we tamper. Sand was not able to in this instance. He caused mass destruction in a butterfly effect of one choice he made way before Ray caused more fallout with the truths he spilled.

Sands actions. Sands choices. Not just Rays or Mews. And don't get me wrong Ray was wrong too, he shouldn't have brought April and Cheum into it just to further a point. He should have just let Mew handle Top alone at home. But to be fair he'd spent all day and night being ignored by his friends for not being as blind in love as them, biting his tongue when Ton played along to insinuations over Nick and still got treated kindly after outright saying he had an ice cold heart when Ray knew just how true that was. Dealing with Ton making his emotions for Mew the butt of a joke again, belittling him. Sand using him to get back at Top and lying to Rays face or stonewalling him after they'd spent a week connecting more.

So it's no surprise he went since we're being honest tonight anyway maybe you all need to see you aren't perfect either. Sand set the spark that started this fire this time around. It's alright. All of them went too far and crossed lines. None are worse than the others. This show is not a competition between which partner in this couple is worse or more fucked up than the other. It is showing its audience what it looks like when two fucked up, flawed, morally grey, young adult and queer people fall into relationships and friendships. All of the couples are equally as wrong as each other for behaviours they exhibit when together.

It's subjective of course, everyone's personal level of what's wrong and what's acceptable is different and that's what makes this interesting. Something a character does may not be going too far for one viewer whilst for another it's absolutely appalling. The beauty of media. But let's not get so caught in picking teams that we lose our critical lens when we consume media. You can be rooting for Nick or Boston or Top or Sand or Ray or Mew! A combination! Have favourites! By all means pick people you'd love to see overcome these messy dramas and challenges they face. Just don't throw rocks at glass houses.

[neurotoxicyuri]

My friends really wanted me to upload this angsty voxman drabble so… here! It's 668 words, and the starting/ending is intentionally ambiguous. 👍

Disclaimer: This is VERY very VERY heavily based on a scene from this fanfic. I thought it was interesting, and wanted to expand upon it further, but not enough to make an entire oneshot.

Second Disclaimer: This deals with alcohol misuse, and two mentally ill people sucking butt at relationships. The situation IS toxic, but this isn't meant to be an end all be all thing, they love each other immensely I promise.

Drabble is under the cut :)

_________________________________________________

Venomous had already finished two glasses of wine… but he craved more than just that. He craved something of a different flavor profile, specifically and Boxman had such a thing, right in his grubby little talon.

"Are you going to finish that…?" Venomous loomed over the other, very obviously looking down at his half drank glass of brandy.

"You've already had enough," Boxman rolled his eyes.

He hates when he gets like this, and it's always because of stupid Billiam and his stupid parties…

"Aw come on Boxy… don't be that way. I'm as sober as a judge," Venomous winked at the other and made a little clicking noise.

This… behavior truly frustrated Boxman… but, he loves Professor Venomous, and that includes every side of him. Even if that meant he had to deal with his provocative side. In fact, maybe if he turned this into a game it could get him out of this alcohol crazed muck, at least for now.

"You know… your charm isn't as effective as you think, P.V…!" Boxman cackled evilly, before he downed the rest of the drink.

He then gave Venomous a smug grin, "Now you can't have it!"

Venomous grumbled, clearly aggravated. Seems the 'game' didn't work well on him.

Boxman sweat slightly but he could still save things! He just needed to take a different approach… one more methodical.

"Oh don't be like that Professor… I'm HELPING you, the more you drink, the more I'll have to deal with you in the morning," Boxman did his best to force a smile.

Perhaps it was the alcohol or the fact Boxman was preforming unmediated surgery on his ego, but that little comment really got to him,

"Oh, so I'm something you have to deal with now?" Venomous narrowed his eyes at Boxman, his voice however, remained relatively calm, considering the accusatory nature of his words.

The smiling façade quickly faded, and the nervousness of the situation intensified. "I- P.V that's not what I meant! Y-You just get very… fussy when you get migraines, b-but Lord Boxman is MORE than happy to take of you…!"

"So I am?!" Venomous hissed, "You think you can doll up your contempt for me I won't notice? Hm? Is that it?" This time, Venomous raised his voice, and people were now very obviously staring.

Boxman hated to admit it, but Venomous really scared him sometimes, not in the exhilarating way. But in the way that makes him terrified to exist in his presence, terrified that he'll breathe the wrong way, say the wrong things, give the wrong look. Though, to Boxman, the worst part of it all was knowing that these were the times Venomous hurt the most. He knows that he only lashes out because he's afraid; but that doesn't make Boxman any less fearful.

In spite of… everything, Boxman was willing to try and be a source of comfort. He didn't know what's wrong with P.V to get him in these states, but he wanted to be there for him to help push through things.

He placed his fleshy hand on Venomous’ arm, "P-Professor… I don't have contempt for you, I want you to stop drinking because I care about you…! Maybe I went about it the wrong way at first, b-but… I thought you would like it more if I acted joyful…"

Venomous flicked Boxman's hand off of him after he finished speaking, and just as angry before, he remarked.

"I'm sick of your bullshit, Boxman."

Swearing. Something which the two of them avoid… something which Venomous just did. Boxman has a very high tolerance for Professor Venomous’ behavior, but this is so… INEXCUSABLE! He's just TRYING to be mean.

"You… you…" He growls. "WE ARE NOT SPEAKING FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT!"

"Fine by me," Venomous sneers.

Both headed in the opposite direction of one other, both pretended not to care. But both felt emotionally distraught at the feeling of not having the approval of one another.

[melodyalanaroster]

The Golden Heart’s Regret and His New White Light

Alana sat beneath a tree in the Sweet Amouris High Courtyard while reading Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett when Rosalaya appeared before her. “Alana?” She asked. “Yes?”  Alana inquired as she closed her book and looked up at Rosa. Rosalaya looked at her very seriously. “Someone wants to talk to you.” Alana’s heart instantly began to pound with anticipation. “Please be Nathaniel... Please be Nathaniel...” She thought. Rosa stepped aside and revealed a very remorseful and nervous looking blonde boy. “I’ll leave you two alone. Try not to rip each other apart this time!” Rosa winked as she walked away.

“Rosa is quite confident... Its hard to say “no” to her.” Nathaniel laughed. Alana looked at him very seriously, stood up, and dusted herself off. “Let me guess... She forced you to come see me, didn’t she?” She sternly asked. “Let’s just say that she encouraged me quite a bit.” He replied. “If you’re coming to me simply out of obligation, then I’d rather you not.” She sharply stated. “I would have come on my own, eventually. I think that I owe you an... Apology.” He blushed. “Damn, I didn’t see that coming.” The voice in Alana’s head piped up. “What you did must not have been easy. You must have needed lots of courage and lots of... Support from the ones you love. And, I refused to admit it. I’m sorry... Are you still mad?” He apologized. Alana looked down and thought for a couple of minutes. “I understand if you don’t want to forgive me, right away, for what I said to you... But please, promise me you will think about it...” He pleaded. After thinking for a couple of minutes, Alana looked back up at him and stared deep into his golden eyes. “I have been thinking about it... For several days now... I have actually been hoping that you might come and apologize to me... But, before I give you my answer as to whether or not I will forgive you, I’d like to make a few things clear. You were horrible. You didn’t just patronize me and belittle me. You knew why I was doing what I did and you were still a monster to me for it. I don’t like being called an idiot Nathaniel... Let alone being treated like an insect... And you did both....” She began. “Alana...” He sadly sighed. “Honestly? I shouldn’t forgive you for what you did! I really shouldn’t! However, I am going to forgive you. Nathaniel Jacott, in your darkest moment, you lashed out and treated those who care about you like they were less than the feces in the sewers. But, I understand where I might have been out of line. You begged me to not go to Social Services... And I did anyway. That does not absolve you... At all. But, I care enough about you to look past that and hope that those actions were simply out of pain and despair. I forgive you.” She explained as she took his hand. “Are you sure?” He asked. “Yes! You beautiful idiot! I just explained that I care enough about you to not only do all of that, but forgive you in spite of how you acted!” She blurted out as tears came to her eyes. Nathaniel looked at her for a minute as wave after wave of relief crashed into him, consuming his body language. “I’m so relieved... I was terrified that you wouldn’t wanna talk to me after... After all of this...” He sighed. “Well...  Are things getting better for you now? Is your dad facing consequences?” She asked. “I don’t live with my parents anymore. Castiel suggested that I become legally independent. I hate having to say it, but... His idea was a great one.” Nathaniel explained. “So you got emancipated? That’s amazing! I’m just glad he didn’t have you do something illegal!” Alana cheered. “At the same time, its logical that this solution came from him. Even if... I still don’t understand why he helped me.” He added. “Maybe because, even though he is a huge jackass, there is at least a little bit of good in him? Or, maybe there’s the chance that even he doesn’t know why he helped you?” She shrugged. “It’s possible, yes.” He chuckled. “In any case... He did the right thing. So, what were the parameters of your emancipation?” She asked. “My parents had to give their accord to a judge.” He began. “And they just caved? Just like that?” She interrupted. “I didn’t really leave them a choice. If they didn’t give their accord, I had decided to tell Social Services everything. In the end, everyone got out unharmed...” He explained. “I suppose that is a good compromise...” Alana shrugged. “That’s the deal, yeah. They pay my apartment and costs. I also told my dad that he had better not express his anger on Amber. I couldn’t tolerate that and would have to intervene for good.” He continued. “I get that. No one deserves that abuse.” She nodded. “Well.... I never thought I would get to this point, but I threatened my parents. And now, I live alone.” He sighed. “Did you find a place in town?” She asked. “Yes. It’s modest, but pretty nice.” Nathaniel smiled. “Well... Can I come over one day?” She smirked. “Oh, uh... Yeah, why not... One day...” He stuttered.

★

It didn’t take long for things to get back to normal around Sweet Amoris High School since Nathaniel’s return. However, Alana instantly began noticing the man making a few changes about himself. He began acting more relaxed and open towards people. He changed his clothes to a pair of white button pants, and long sleeved, blue, v neck shirt. He even got his hair cut a bit shorter. The new shirt he had begun wearing also revealed that, in his spare time, Nathaniel had begun to work out, as his muscles were starting to become more prominent. “Damn it girl! You need to stop staring at his tits!” the voice in Alana’s head ordered when she watched him passing out papers in History Class one day. “I’m not!” She thought back.

News of his emancipation and the events surrounding it spread through the school like wildfire, however, Nathaniel took it with his head held high. It took all of Alana’s strength to keep herself from running up to Melody and gloating about it. But, that didn’t stop Sam from popping off to the girl when she had heard her making snarky comments at Alana’s expense. “Hey, at least my sister DID something! You would have just let it continue!” Sam shot. “Sam... Don’t bother, she’s not worth it.” Alana sighed as she shot Melody a look that said “I told you so.”. 

To say that Amber was not okay with the events that had transpired was a severe understatement. Her little gaggle of flying monkeys continued to support her, but even Sam could tell that it wasn’t enough. Each time Alana would look at Amber and see her continued distress towards the situation, a tsunami of regret and pity crashed into her. “Don’t feel sorry for that wretch! She needs to work through this just like everyone else does!” Sam scoffed when Alana expressed her guilt towards Amber’s pain. At one point, Alana even tried to talk to Amber, but Amber refused to listen to her. “Leave me alone Alana! Haven’t you done enough?!” Amber yelled. “But Amber... I’m sorry... I...” Alana blubbered. “No, you’re not sorry! You ruined my family!” Amber cut her off. “Amber...” Alana gasped. “You’d better watch your back from here on out. Because, the second I get a chance to “return the favor”, I’m taking it!” Amber snarled as she walked off.

★

"Nathaniel! You’ve changed your look! I’m happy to see you’re doing better!” Lynne cheered as she opened the door and found him standing before her. “Ah, yes... Thank you Ms. Roster.” Nathaniel nervously smiled. “Mels is home... Would you like to come in?” Lynne offered. “May I?” He asked. “Sure! Melody! Nathaniel is here!” Lynne called as she let him into the apartment. “Coming!” Alana called. Minutes later, she entered the living room wearing a pair of black Sailor Moon shorts, a black sports bra, and a black Sailor Moon tank top. “Hey!” She smiled. “H-Hey Alana...” Nathaniel blushed. “What’s up? Did you wanna hang out with Sylvester? Study? Or did Armin get you into anime and videogames?” She mused. “Well... We do have a history test this Friday.” He smiled. “But you don’t have your books. Good thing I have mine!” She cheered as she began walking towards her bedroom. “Come on!” She cooed when she looked back him. “Keep the door open!” Lynne called. “Alright mom!” Alana called back.

“He’s in your room... Hot as fuck... Here to study... But has no books.... If your mom wasn’t here...” The voice in her head began to huff. “Stop it!” She thought back. “So... Hey... At school, you mentioned that you wanted to talk to me about something... What’s up with that?” She blushed as she sat on her bed and turned on some music. Nathaniel sat down in Alana’s desk chair and faced her. “Now that I live on my own, I’m allowed to do things that I wasn’t able to do when I lived with my parents...” He started. “You mean... Like having a girl over to your place and making her scream out in pleasure so much that the neighbors call in a noise complaint?” The voice in her head instantly popped off. “Stop it! He doesn’t think of me like that!” Alana angrily thought back. “Oh? And what are you wanting to do that you couldn’t do before?” She nervously asked. “I’d like to adopt a cat.” He smiled. “Fantastic! But, I guess that means you won’t wanna come visit Sylvester anymore... Right?” Alana chuckled. “Of course not! I always wanna come see this little guy...” Nathaniel cooed as the tuxedo cat entered the room and hopped up in his lap. “I know... I was just joking! I think you should get yourself a furry friend! You already know you’re great with them!” Alana mused. “I’m glad you think that... Because I was wondering... Would you like to go to the Pet Shop with me? I heard they’re having an adoption event soon.” He blushed. “Sure! I’d love to!” She cheered. “Great! We’ll go this weekend!” He beamed.

A couple of hours later, Lynne knocked on the cracked door. “Mels? Nathaniel?” She politely asked. The pair looked up from Alana’s computer. “Yes, mom?” Alana inquired. “What are you two looking at?” Lynne pondered out loud. “Cat trees! Nath is getting a kitty soon!” Alana beamed. “Good for you Nathaniel! I’m happy that you’re able to be your true self now!” Lynne cheered. “Thanks Ms. Roster.” Nathaniel grinned. “Well, dinner is ready. Come on kids. There’s a place at the table for you Nathaniel.” Lynne smiled. “Are you sure? I can go home if I need to.” Nathaniel nervously asked. “Nonsense! You’re not leaving this home without a full belly!” Lynne insisted as she headed towards the kitchen. “Come on. Best not to argue with her... That’s Sam’s and my job.” Alana shrugged. “Alright.” Nathaniel chuckled. 

★

As the week passed, Alana couldn’t help but get more and more excited for the Pet Shop’s adoption event. “It’s like a date!” The voice in her head cheered. “Its NOT a date!” She thought back. “But its like one!” The voice in her head snapped back. Nathaniel had begun to come over to the apartment almost every day with the excuse of “wanting to continue researching what he needed for a cat”. It got to the point to where Lynne had started to call Nathaniel Alana’s boyfriend whenever he wasn’t around... Much to Alana’s embarrassment.

“Come on Mels! If he won’t ask you out, then you need to ask him out!” Sam insisted. “Sam! Nath and I still aren’t over what happened with his father. If anything, it’s going to take time for our friendship to heal from that!” Alana spat. “The way he’s always over here, it seems like the friendship is more than healing.” Lynne cooed as she sat the food down on the table. “See! Mom sees it! As it is, Mels, you have a harem! Viktor wants you back. Castiel is always sniffing around you. Armin looks for excuses to hang out and play Pokémon And now Nathaniel spends an awful lot of time in your room with you “researching”. At some point, you’re gonna need to pick one of them.” Sam explained. “Viktor KNOWS we can’t be together. Castiel, Armin and I are all JUST FRIENDS... As for Nathaniel, if we WERE to get together, it wouldn’t be appropriate for it to happen while he’s first starting out away from his father!” Alana shot back. “Viktor will most likely end up in an arranged marriage with Severina because of their fathers....” Lynne muttered. “And that is complete crap! They should be allowed to find love!” Sam boomed. “Its part of the aristocracy, girls. If our family were to ever take the titles that the Astier clan offers us each year, we’d be forced to live by at least a few of their rules...” Lynne explained. “Anywho... Mels, you can’t always wait for the guy to ask you out! Ask Nathaniel out! We all now you’ve been undressing him with your eyes ever since he changed his clothes and started bulking up.” Sam cheered. “Give your sister time, Sam! Not everyone can pick the guy and tell him to “get in there”, like you did!” Lynne chuckled.

★

When the day of the Adoption Event finally arrived, Alana woke up and got ready for the day very early. Sylvester was not happy being woken up by Alana getting out of bed. The tuxedo cat stretched his body out as long as he could, let out a long yawn and looked at her with a face that said “There had better be a good reason why you have disturbed my slumber.”. “Oh, calm down Sylvester... Today is the day that I help Nathaniel go pick out his own little furry friend!” Alana beamed. “Is Nathaniel going to be joining us for breakfast?” Lynne asked as she passed by Alana’s bedroom door and saw her texting on her bed. “He won’t be. He and I are going to the café for lunch, then to the event.” Alana replied.

Right as she finished doing her homework for the weekend, there was a knock on the door. “Always timely, that boy.” Lynne chuckled as Alana dashed from her room. “Isn’t it great?” Alana quickly cooed. She straightened herself and rapidly looked in a small mirror before opening the door. “Hey Alana! You ready?” Nathaniel asked. “Yeah!” Alana beamed. She turned to her mom. “I’ll be back later! Don’t wait up!” She cheered. “Just keep your phone on you and be safe! Let me know if you need anything!” Lynne called. “I will!” Alana called back as the door closed behind her. “Thank you for coming with me for this. I really appreciate it.” Nathaniel smiled as they began their walk to the Café. “Of course! I’m happy that you invited me!” She cheered. “This is feeling very much like a date!” The voice in her head piped up. “Its not!” She thought back. “But what if it was? It’d be so romantic!” The voice in her head mused. “Even if he did like me, its too early for us to date. He JUST got away from his father!” She sharply thought back. “So... I know its been a few days since we had that talk... But, are you sure you’ve forgiven me?” Nathaniel asked. Alana was instantly caught off guard. “Why are you bringing that up now?” She nervously blurted out. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since then... And this is the first time we’ve been fully alone without anyone listening in to our conversation.” He sighed. “Ah...” Alana replied. “So, have you thought about it?” He inquired, a little pain in his voice. “I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t... Yes, I’ve thought about it... And I stand by what I said then. You messed up big time, but you did it out of a place of agony and were lashing out. And, ever since then, we’ve made an effort to make it up to each other. So, yes, I’m sure that I’ve forgiven you.” She smiled. Nathaniel became relaxed and grinned. “I appreciate that.” He blushed as they continued walking.

The Pet Store was a relatively large shop in the small shopping district. Each set of animals had their own section. When they walked towards the cats, they passed a very large spider in a container. “Keep your eyes on me, Alana. I’ve got you.” Nathaniel ordered when he felt her cling to him out of fear. “T-thank y-you.” She stuttered as she followed his orders. Despite her best efforts, her body continued to tense up as fear of the arachnid overcame her instincts. Suddenly, she felt him take her hands off of his arm and slide his hand to her back. “You cover your back when your phobia gets triggered, right?” He soothingly inquired. “Y-yes.” She nervously nodded. “Its okay, we’re almost to the cats.” He cooed. The Cat Section of the store was at the very back and had a room with a large plastic window to the kennels for each kitty that they had up for adoption. Alana’s body began to relax at the sight of the little felines. “Cats are better.” She sighed. “Yeah, they are.” Nathaniel smiled. “I don’t understand why people even keep spiders as pets... They may have their uses in nature, but they are horrifying...” Alana muttered. “I’m sure there are people out there who say the same thing about cats. Some people like spiders enough to keep them as pets.” Nathaniel quietly shrugged.

A little white kitten in one of the cages looked right at Nathaniel, perked it’s ears up and walked right to the front where it could see him more. “Ah, hello little one.” Nathaniel cooed as he walked over to the cage and petted the kitten through one of the holes in the plastic. “Is this her? The kitten you’ve been visiting lately?” Alana asked. “Yes it is. Alana, this is Blanche. She’s the one we’re here to see. Blanche, this is dear friend Alana. She’s the girl I told you about.” He motioned between the kitten and Alana as he made the introductions. “Ah! Young man! You’re back! Are you here to visit, or are you here to finally take little Blanche home?” The store manager asked. She was a middle aged woman with tan skin, dark hair and dark eyes. “I’m finally here to take her home! I’ve got everything ready at my apartment and its time for me to bring her to her forever home.” Nathaniel beamed. “Do you have a carrier?” The manager asked. A wave of realization crashed into him. I knew I was forgetting something! No, I don’t. Do you have any for purchase?” Nathaniel facepalmed. “We do! If you two will come with me. We have a wide variety of carriers.” The manager explained as she motioned for the two of them to follow her. Nathaniel began looking at each and every pet carrier very closely, a little bit of panic started to slowly make it’s way into his eyes. Suddenly, Alana could hear her mother’s voice in her head. “I added a bit of extra money to your card, sweetie. Get something nice for Nathaniel and his new furry friend as a gift from the family!” Lynne’s voice cooed. She took out her phone and looked up her bank account. Lynne had added a lot of extra gold to her account. “A bit excessive, isn’t it mom?” She thought. Alana looked at the pet carriers, noticed one that looked familiar and walked over to it. “This looks like the newest version of the one we have for Sylvester.” She commented. “Its out of my price range.” Nathaniel sighed when he looked at the tag. “Don’t worry about it. Its on me.” Alana grinned. She turned back to Nathaniel, then to the manager. “Do you have a machine to make pet tags for collars?” She asked. “Yes, we do. It’s over by the registers.” The manager replied. “Fantastic! Get little Blanche ready for Nathaniel to take her home. I will be right back.” Alana commanded.

As she walked towards the register, a sparkly blue collar caught her eye from a shelf near the tag machine. “Obviously I’m getting that.” She thought to herself. The tags could be personalized on the front and back and were on display at the registers. A little blue heart caught her eye, so she instinctively put it on register belt with the rest of her purchases. “Adopting a new friend today?” The cashier asked. “My friend is, its his first.” She mused. “That cute blonde guy that walked in earlier?” The cashier asked. “Yeah.” Alana nodded. “Honestly thought you two were a couple, the way you guys hung onto each other when you walked in.” The cashier commented. “Ah, well... We’re just friends...” Alana blushed. “I know its not my place to say this, but you guys would make a cute couple. Go for it.” The cashier grinned as he scanned the last item. “Yeah... People say that a lot...” Alana rushed as she looked at the screen. “Oh dear... That’s under budget... My mom sent me a specific amount to spend on him this time... Are there any cushions for pet carriers around here?” She nervously observed. “Yeah, let me get one for you real quick.” The cashier smiled as he ran off. Seconds later, they had returned, scanned the cushion and put it in the carrier. “There we go.” Alana smiled. “Your mom gave you money to spend on this guy? Sounds like your family really likes him.” The cashier commented. “Look, I’m not sure if he likes me like that... And I’m not gonna pressure him, okay?” Alana nervously huffed. “I here ya. Don’t worry. Just know, I’m rooting for ya!” He cheered. “Okay, so how do I use the machine?” She asked. “Your friend just has to take the tag and the receipt to the machine, scan the receipt and it’ll walk ya right through the next steps.” He explained. “Okay, thank you.” Alana smiled as she quickly ran back to Nathaniel’s side.

“Alana! What took you so long? Are you okay?” Nathaniel worriedly asked. “Sorry! I might have gotten a little carried away!” Alana beamed as she handed the carrier, collar and tag to him. “I’m keeping the receipt until you need to personalize the tag.” She smiled. “Alana! This is so sweet! You didn’t have to!” Tears began to come to Nathaniel’s eyes as he took the purchases. “Nonsense! Oh, and its not just from me... Mom wanted me to make sure to get you something from the family.” She explained. “Thank you, you and your family! This means the world to me!” He cheered. “Well, I think its time to take little Blanche home, don’t you think?” The manager delightedly cooed. “Yes, I think so!” Nathaniel nodded. “Now, the adoption package comes with a few of the essentials. A small litter box, small bags of litter and food, and a handful of toys” The manager explained as she pulled out a large cardboard box with a handle.

Nathaniel finished the adoption process in utter bliss. Alana couldn’t help but feel a TWANG in her heart as she watched him. “Yeahhh.... You’ve forgiven him.” The voice in her head piped up. “Yeah, I have.” She thought back. “I should be disappointed in you... But, you’re a teenage girl and he’s a hot guy...” The voice replied. “A hot guy who is really smart and sweet and who just adopted a cute little kitten.” She thought back. “Welp... So much for Nathaniel continuing to see Metal Melody.... Then again, I should have realized that the second you let him into your room without kicking his ass...” The voice sighed. “I can’t spend the rest of high school being pissed at him.” She thought back. “Yeah you can... But I know you’re not gonna...” The voice sighed. “Alana, I can’t thank you enough for this!” Nathaniel cheered as he rejoined her side. “There is no thanking me! Its what friends are for!” She cooed.

When Alana finally happily stumbled through the front door of the apartment later that evening, both Lynne and Sam were waiting for her in the living room. “Someone had a great time!” Lynne snickered. “Awe, did our little Mels get more than time with her golden boy?!” Sam smirked. “You guys aren’t funny! And, by the way, he was very appreciative of the stuff we got him!” Alana shot as she did her best to hide the blush that had begun taking over her face. “How appreciative? Did he finally kiss you? Did he take you back to his apartment and give you more than a kiss?!” Sam sneered. “Okay Sam, I think you’ve gone too far... They haven’t even gone on their first actual date yet.” Lynne rolled her eyes as she turned back to Alana. “I am happy that you two have made up, and that he appreciated everything. Its good to see that boy is doing better.” She cooed. “I am too...” Alana sighed. “Now, both of you, go to bed. You’ve got school in the morning.” Lynne ordered.

★

“Mels! Your prince charming is here! He wants to walk to school with you!” Sam called as she stood at the open door. “Sam!” Nathaniel nervously hissed. “Oh calm down! We all know that you and my sister are “just friends”.” Sam laughed. “And on that note... Hey Nathaniel! Let’s go before my mom jumps in on the teasing!” Alana smiled as she rushed towards the door with her bags in hand. “I won’t be teasing any of you until later today! I’ve got a book signing to take care of!” Lynne beamed. “Wait, what? A “Lynne Roster Book Signing” without her two biggest trophies?!” Sam cackled. “You two go to school, I can do this by myself.” Lynne assured. “Are you sure Mom?” Alana asked. “Yes! Now go! You don’t wanna be late!” Lynne barked. “Alright, love you! Let us know how things go!” Alana mused as she left the apartment.

When they got to school, everyone noticed the four of them arriving together. “Almost as if Nathaniel and Alana are dating!” one of the students mused. “Nonsense! She just helped him get away from his father, they’re probably just walking together as friends!” another student commented. “As if Nathaniel would date Alana! Spreading those lies about him and his family the way she did!” Melody scoffed. “You actually think Alana is spreading lies about Nathaniel’s family?” Sharon asked. “Of course! I think she did it to get closer to him!” Melody huffed. “Then you’re more of an idiot than he is.” Castiel shot as he walked past her. “And you’re in on the lie, Castiel!” Melody called after him. “Come on Melody, we know you have a thing for Nathaniel. But slandering Alana is beneath you.” Iris lightly scolded. “I mean... He did get emancipated from his family with Castiel’s help. I don’t think Nathaniel would have done that for no reason...” Kim pointed out. “Oh, come on! If Nathaniel was actually being abused by his father, surely he would have told someone!” Melody argued. “Awe, is the little brat just pissed off that she’s not the one who helped Nathaniel?” Sam sneered as she walked up to the group. “Its none of your business, Samantha!” Melody spat. “Really? You’re the one talking shit about my sister.... All because the boy you like is paying attention to her and not you! Oh, and its “Sam” to you, not “Samantha”. Keep that in mind!” Sam taunted. “Sam...” Iris started. “Of course you would protect your sister! I’d almost say it’s honorable, but your family is anything but!” Melody scoffed. Sam took a couple of steps towards the girl, a devilish grin spreading across her face. “First of all, the only person in this school who is allowed to give my sister shit is ME. Not you. Not Amber. Not Amber’s gaggle of bumbling idiots. ME. Secondly, I don’t remember reading anything in our nation’s history books about your family. But I know for a fact that there is an entire chapter on The Roster Clan. Not only is there an entire chapter in the history books dedicated to us, but Weathering hosts a festival thanking our family for founding the city each year and has done so for centuries. The Astier Clan has been BEGGING us to accept the titles and nobility that they’ve been wanting to present us since Astaria’s inception. In fact, over the years, it became a tradition for a member of our clan to go to the capital each year on Founding Day to formally decline the titles. Not only that, but almost every generation of the Astier Clan has tried to get us to marry into their family and have us join our nation’s royalty. In closing, if you wanna talk shit about me, that’s fine. If you wanna talk shit about my family, you will learn your place! If you wish to talk shit about my sister, you will keep her name out of your mouth. If you refuse to abide by this warning... I promise you that I will escalate things. And no amount of “good PR” will save you from that embarrassment! Am I clear?” Sam warned. “Is that a threat?!” Melody asked, a hint of fear making itself clear in her voice. “Its a warning and a promise. Now, AM I CLEAR?!” Sam snarled. “Crystal.” Melody spat. “Good. Later ladies!” Sam smiled as she walked off. “Sam is such a bitch!” Melody spat when she noticed that Sam was out of earshot. “You were spreading lies about her sister and then you insulted their family! You’re lucky that she didn’t beat you up!” Sharon snapped. “Yeah... Melody, that was out of line... You should really be thankful that all Sam did was give you a warning and a history lesson.” Iris sighed. “Come on Kim, you’re not on Sam’s side here... Are you?” Melody sputtered. “I think you were both out of line. But, you really shouldn’t have done that. All Alana wanted to do was help Nathaniel and you let your jealousy get the better of you. As it is, he turned you down and this isn’t how a friend would want to be treated.” Kim reprimanded.

“Everyone thinks we’re dating now.” Alana muttered as she and Nathaniel sat down to lunch. “Would that really be a bad thing?” He quietly responded. “What?!” Alana gasped, her face quickly turning a deep shade of red. “N-Nothing! I m-mean... We’re not. W-We’re just f-friends.” Nathaniel blushed as he nervously stuttered. “I mean, its not like you two act like more than friends or anything.” Sam laughed as she and Ken took their seats at the table. “I wouldn’t mind it. Although, I kinda think Alana would be good with Armin.” Alexy chuckled. “You just want Alana as your sister-in-law!” Rosalaya rolled her eyes. “Yeah! Alana and I are just friends!” Armin nervously scoffed. “Isn’t Castiel in love with her?” Ken asked. “You noticed it too? I think he is, he just doesn’t wanna admit it.” Rosa commented. “As it is, I think Viktor is still holding out hope that he can, one day, override his family’s orders and get back with my sister rather than potentially be stuck in an arranged marriage with Severina.” Sam stated. “What?!” Nathaniel gasped. “Yeah, we’ve told you guys that our mom is best friends with Aunt Verity and Aunt Cosima. Well, while Aunt Cosima was alive, Viktor and Severina were more free to do what they wanted. Which meant that Viktor and my sister were in a cute little relationship for several years when we were all kids. Viktor promised that he would, one day, “break the spell” and return to Mels’ side. Even though his mom tried to tell him that it wasn’t gonna happen. We’re not, formally, aristocracy, and we have no intention of becoming part of that system. But, it was cute while it lasted. Viktor was even responsible for Mels’ first kiss. You should have seen their faces when mom took a picture of them reenacting the famous “Spider-Man Kiss” at one point.” Sam explained. “Oh my god! That’s soo cute!” Rosa and Alexy mused in unison. “Viktor was even dressed as Spider-Man!” Sam gushed. “Alana, I didn’t know you were someone’s Mary Jane at some point! Why have you never mentioned this?” Armin inquired. “It was years ago! Aunt Cosima died not long after the photo was taken. Viktor and Rini were shipped off to boarding school and now their dads have that agreement to breed them like they’re prize winning horses. I am free to be with anyone else... And I would appreciate it if my friends and sister didn’t take part in a shipping war over who I’m gonna end up with!” Alana blurted out. “Well, my money is on Armin!” Alexy piped up. “Honestly, I see Alana with Nathaniel or Castiel. But, I wouldn’t mind seeing her end up with Lysander! I NEED a good sister-in-law!” Rosa cheered. “Its gonna come down to Nathaniel or Castiel.” Sam nodded. “You people do realize that whoever I want to be with also has to want to be with me, right? Now, quit making bets on my love life!” Alana huffed as she got up from the table, grabbed her stuff, tossed the remainder of her food in the trash, and ran to the restroom.

★

Several days later, Nathaniel, Armin, Alexy, and Kentin were gathered in the hall. “Are we interrupting a special “boys club” meeting?” Sam asked as she and Alana walked up to them. “Hey girls! We’re talking about our little trip to the Pet Shop last night!” Alexy mused. “That’s what you guys did last night?! I thought ya’ll were just hanging out!” Sam exclaimed. “We were at first... But then Ken adopted a little German Sheppard puppy and my brother got a ferret!” Alexy cheered. “Alexy! I was gonna surprise her with Cookie tonight!” Ken hissed. “Oh, my bad!” Alexy gasped. “You named your puppy Cookie? I thought your dad didn’t want a dog?” Sam asked. “He’s got strict requirements for me to keep her. As long as I keep up with them, she’s mine.” Ken clarified. “You got a ferret?” Alana asked Armin. “Yeah, I named him Rocket.” Armin smiled. “Let me guess, Guardians of the Galaxy?” Alana raised an eyebrow. “Yep! Mainly because I can’t, legally, have a raccoon as a pet!” Armin looked so proud as he spoke. “Raccoons are gross anyway!” Alexy spat. “No they’re not! They’re cute little trash pandas!” Alana chimed in. “See! Alana likes them!” Armin stuck his tongue out. “Did you go with them?” Alana asked as she turned to Nathaniel. “Yeah. I wanted to get more supplies for Blanche. It was really fun!” Nathaniel mused. 

As the day went on, the school became filled with more and more chatter. “Something is changing.” Alana commented. “Peggy, do you know?” Rosa asked as Peggy rushed past them in the hallway. “Know what?” Peggy inquired. “Why everyone is talking more about something new.” Alana clarified. “No. You might ask Sharon. I’ve been forced to cover more of what the sports clubs are doing and the Tennis Club is currently on their practice field.” Peggy replied as she rushed off. “You’d think that that little “future paparazzo” would know if something was up.” Alana commented. “I know, it’s weird.” Rosalaya shrugged.

“Hey, Sharon, what’s going on? I heard the principal make an announcement, but I couldn’t hear it clearly.” Alana asked when she came upon Sharon in one of the classrooms. “Oh, we’re getting a new Science Teacher.” Sharon replied. “So, Mrs. Cooper isn’t coming back? I know she had the baby not long after I got here.” Alana questioned. “Nope! Turns out her husband recently got a promotion at his job and now he can afford to take care of them on only one income. She’s gonna stay with the baby until the kid is old enough to go to school and then she might come back to teaching.” Sharon explained. “Good for her. I’m happy that she has the ability to spend that time with her kid.” Alana mused. “Its a shame really. Such a bright and brilliant woman falling to the institution of motherhood.” Sharon commented. “Not gonna lie, you sound like Cruella de Vil.” Alana chuckled. “She had a point in that movie.” Sharon smiled. “Do you think that the new teacher will be a good one? The substitutes have been kind of sub par lately.” Alana asked. “I hope so. I hope that, whoever we get, will be someone smart enough to not fall in line with the path that society set before them. Someone brilliant, and hopefully a little snarky.” Sharon articulated.

The day went on as normally as it could. The halls of Sweet Amouris filled with the chatter concerning the new science teacher. Amber continued to avoid Alana like the plague. However, since the conversation about everyone wanting to see Alana with various boys took place, she couldn’t help but keep her mind on what everyone said. “Rosa and Sam already know that I like Nathaniel! Why is my love life up for debate!” She thought. “Because its something mundane that takes their minds off of the daily bullshit.” The voice in her head piped up. “Nathaniel asked if us being together would really be a bad thing...” She thought. “If he does like you back, then you should just wait for him to make his move. He knows you’re there if you need him.” The voice in her head responded. “I really wanna kiss him...” She thought. “No, you wanna do a lot more than kiss him...” The voice in her head replied. “Okay... But we are NOWHERE NEAR that point.” She thought. “But one day you might be!” The voice in her head clapped back.

Later that night, her usual dreams of being a Sailor Scout were interrupted by a vision of Nathaniel managing to climb through her window, kissing her passionately and whispering very spicy sentiments into her ear with his low, gruff voice. She could feel his hot breath on her throat as he spoke. “I want you My Melody.” He growled. “I want you too, Nathaniel” She sighed. “If this is a dream, please let me enjoy it for a good while!” She thought.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was going to be a combination of Episodes 24 & 25.... But it turned into just Episode 24....

Mrs. Cooper is a reference to The Big Bang Theory.

The movie referenced by Sharon and Alana in the last section is the live action 101 Dalmatians that stars Glenn Close as Cruella de Vil.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I'm just waiting for the Episode of Savanaclaw to show little Leona and the little lion getting his hopes and dreams crushed by everyone around him.

Also, this might sound weird but I always thought Leona and Dominique from The Case Study of Vanitas were kinda similar. Their both the youngest child of high-standing families and were viewed as inferior towards their older sibling(s) (In Dominique's case, 2 older half siblings and deceased older twin brother). But in the end, Dominique realised that her cryokinesis is actually way more powerful than even her older half siblings' because hers aren't violent like those of her half-siblings.

Now, I'm not saying Leona's parents are abusive/cruel (though it could be a possibility) and told Leona "You're brother can already do this, why can't you?" or "Falena's already unlocked his Unique Magic, why're you so slow?" (that's the servants' job) but it wouldn't surprise me if they did accidentally said something insensitive (or Leona misinterpreted what they were really trying to say) to Leona that crushed his already crippling self-esteem issues.

Maybe Leona tried to tell his parents how badly he wanted to be king and they said something along the lines of "You're brother's already going to be the king, so stop whining. You've been given everything you wanted." or "Falena's going be the next king and you can't change that." And maybe that finally caused him to snap and start being apathetic towards everything.

Again, this is just a theory I have and it may not happen. Hell, I probably got a few things wrong about Leona's character and backstory.

I’ve only read like one volume of The Case Study of Vanitas I won it in a raffle haha and I don’t know if I’ll continue reading it so 😅 not sure if I 100% get all the details about Dominique and how she parallels Leona. I like Vanitas x Jeanne only because Jeanne hates his guts while Vanitas simps for her and it’s so funny—

Personally, I've never thought of Leona's parents as playing a particularly significant role in his trauma (mainly because the game never showed either of them in his flashback, nor did it indicate the parents as being the center or the “trigger” that made Leona lose hope in himself). The focus of the flashback was on servants and Farena/Falena. The other boys' OB flashbacks also obviously feature major sources for their trauma such as Mama Rosehearts, Azul's bullies, the Viper parents, etc. so if Leona’s parents did play a big role in him being the way he is, it’s strange that they didn’t show up in his flashback.

Leona's parents are barely even mentioned; I only ever recall one instance where it was said that his dad is ill enough to the point where he cannot lead their country, thus Farena/Falena has to act as king. There is no mention of Leona's mother as far as I can tell, and neither parent has been really characterized. Maybe they'll actually get mentioned in the manga adaptation's telling of Leona's flashback?

I don’t doubt that maybe the parents may have said a few insensitive things here and there offhandedly (because everyone naturally makes missteps), but I don’t know about outright telling Leona to “stop whining” or “why are you so slow”. That’s just… very blatantly rude to tell anyone, let alone your own child. I’m not saying it’s not possible for a parent to say such a thing, but I think it’s a bit of a leap in logic to suggest that parents we barely know about would.

I totally buy that Leona would get pissed off and lash out at his parents for misinterpretations on his part though. When his self esteem is already low and he believes the world is against him, it’ll skew his perception of others’ words and actions as negative too. We most clearly see this exemplified when Leona acts bitter towards Farena/Falena, in spite of his older brother showing actually showing Leona a lot of genuine support. I’m more inclined to believe that the parents were also pretty supportive and well-meaning (if Farena/Falena is of any indication), but that Leona interpreted their good will as pity and/or backhanded compliments, or that they could never understand his plight. I’d at least like to think they were a little more tactful/wise with their wording rather than sound annoyed every time Leona expressed a grievance 😔 Alternatively, the parents were probably just never around much due to royal duties, so maybe Leona felt like he never got that social support from their end.

The nature of Leona’s struggle is also something that’s generally seen as more cumulative, rather than there being a single turning point that made him give up on trying. I don’t think you can really point at any singular instance and say, “yes, this part of his past is what made him ‘snap’.” It’s the constant rejection and being beat down by the world and the people he’s trying to get validation from that wears away at his spirit.