#( why must he choose violence so early ??!! )

[oimitocat]

MANEATER — CHAPTER 1

lee heesung x m!reader

chapter summary; heesung finds out his grandmother’s restaurant is in danger. his path seems cloudy until a strange man opens a new one that seems partly cloudy.

chapter warning; violence + flirting + crying

content genre; minor angst

wc. – 3.6 k | m.list | likes n comments appreciated

“thank you for your help,” the old man says with a bow.

“you’re welcome, i really hope everything goes well now,” heesung says with a bright smile.

he stares up at the sky, it’s a chilly morning. his cheeks are flushed with a red hue as he walks down the street. another case closed, he’s thankful. he’s barely making ends meet and now he’ll be in a decent financial spot for a while.

once he’s home he’ll be on to the next case. he’s making a twenty minute walk home, plus the ten it takes him to stop by the store.

by the time he’s home it’s dark. the street light flickers and he happily announces his arrival.

“ma! i won the case!” he announces happily.

his grandmother claps her hands as he exits the kitchen. “oh sung! your mother would be so proud if she were here!”

heesung’s smile tightens. he never really answers those remarks. there’s no point. he loved his mother when she was alive, same for his father. yet, they weren’t very supportive of his career choice.

“it’s expensive, sung-ah,” they’d say. “why not choose something else?”

maybe they would be supportive to see he actually did make it. the fact that they would’ve only when he is being successful is what hurts. they would’ve complained about it even when the tuition money came out of his own pockets. his whole life he’s grown up thinking he had to limit himself within the hole in their pockets.

he had enough. growth is done out of sheer will, desperation and self worth. survival is done by your own merits alone.

“we had a good day today at the restaurant,” his grandmother says. she must have been talking the whole time heesung zoned out. “but i’m afraid i’m going to have to let go of your friend jay. i can’t afford to pay for his hours anymore, business isn’t doing as good as it did back then…” she says sadly, “most of the earnings go to the bills…”

heesung stares at her, heart heavy. if only he had enough money to help her.

“i know ma…” he takes her hand and soothes her with a small rub from his thumb, “jay won’t mind, he was planning on getting a job closer to his place. he technically has been working with you since we’ve been in high school… it’s been almost 8 years?”

she sniffles, “well… i’ll talk to him tomorrow… i guess i’m just sad since the first one to leave was you… he’s almost like a son to me too…”

his heart throbs. “i’ll go shower, okay?”

she nods, “alrighty…”

she watches him leave with a saddened smile. knowing he’s starving, she makes him a plate of food. heesung comes back out a few minutes later, freshened up and hair damp still. he has a few folders under his arm.

“you’re going to keep working? aren’t you tired?”

“i’m okay ma, the shower freshened me up,” he says with a smile and settle’s everything on the table. “i get off early from the office tomorrow, i’ll pass by the restaurant for my lunch and i’ll help you out if you want.”

she stares at him, “only if you can.”

“i can and i want to.” he says before digging in to the files.

the problem with heesung is that when he starts his filing or researching, he does it for hours. at some point his grandmother wishes him good night and he’s still swarming in his own choice. it’s around 1 AM when he finally wraps it up. he washes the dishes, not wishing for his grandmother to worry about that when she wakes and then heads to bed.

he’s used to the lack of sleep, normally running on 4 to 5 hours of sleep daily and either coffee or an energy drink.

he’s running late to the office too. a natural occurrence. running short on cash normally causes him to walk… in this case run, to the office.

“ah, you’re a little over ten minutes,” sunoo teases when he walks inside the office.

“if jungwon fires me i wouldn’t hold it against him,” heesung breathes out as he wipes away the bead of sweat on his forehead.

“jungwon would rather you work from home than come here, even he hates it here.”

“i don’t want to work at home yet,” heesung argues, walking to his office, sunoo following suit. “i know i have to care for my grandma but she’s perfectly capable of herself right now. he already lets me leave for a few hours here and there to check on her at the restaurant.”

“that reminds me,” sunoo says, sitting on the chair opposite of heesung. “i want her bulgogi with lettuce. when am i getting that.”

heesung pauses, looking over at him with a look. “do you have bulgogi money?”

“grandma lee never charges me! how dare you take advantage of a broke receptionist.”

“well then tell her, not me!” heesung huffs, “aish. and get out, i have a few works to do before leaving at twelve.”

“i doubt you’ll leave at twelve, you always leave about an hour later-“

“out!”

sunoo sticks out his tongue before leaving.

heesung shakes his head, smiling a bit as he logs in to his computer to start his work. later, after hours of investing into it, he wraps it up at around 12:10. the time bitters his mood, realizing sunoo is indeed right. not exactly an hour later but still not on time.

still, leaving early is a privilege no one else has here, so he packs up his things and heads out.

he’s walking down the busy street, lunch rush evident outside the block just as it is when he enters it. he bows politely at some of the market people before calling his grandmother.

“ma~,” he sing songs when she picks up.

“yes?” she asks softly, almost as if she were whispering.

“i’m on my way, do you need me to pick up anything-“

“heesung maybe you should head back to the office.” she says, her tone strange.

“ah, but i said i’d help you today-“

“heesung just listen to me and get back to the office. i don’t need to here today, my love,” she catches a sweet tone quickly, as if seeking any way to convince him.

“huh? ma, why are you being so-“ heesung trails off as he nears the restaurant. there’s suspicious men out, he panics. “ma i’m already here, why are there so many men-“

“who are you talking to?” a rough voice says.

without a shred of hesitation, heesung sprints. he pushes past the men at the gates. when one of them pulls at his bag strap, he throws a punch at their nose before continuing his path. his heart is rabbiting in his ribcage. he truly is taken aback by what’s happening.

“ma? are you-“ he gets punched from the side.

if it weren’t for his quick reflexes he’d probably be on the floor, but he throws a punch right back the guy. a kick to the stomach and throat is what gets the guy on the floor. yet, before he can turn to his sweet grandmother, a cold metal item is pressed against his nape. he freezes.

“now tell me who the hell are you and why you knocked out two of my men already.”

heesung would’ve peed himself from fear if it weren’t for the anger and adrenaline. “your men fucking suck at taking a punch.”

“he’s my grandson!” mrs.lee cries out from a table.

“give me one good reason why i shouldn’t shoot him right now.” the man gruffs, a rough hand grabbing heesung’s arm, the grip painful.he moves heesung around to face the elder woman, “you got one minute.”

she’s practically pale from fear. “he’s a lawyer! he’ll help me pay the amount you're asking of me. h-he can double it if you’d even like.”

the fuck? heesung looks at her like she’s insane.

“a lawyer eh?” the man shoves heesung forward, harshly knocking him into the bench seats on the table his grandmother is in.

heesung catches himself and glares back at the man.

“listen, the rent for the restaurant is already five grand, bills and utilities included. but we won over this turf already, so you have to pay us to keep your little restaurant around. sadly, we don’t really want you to pay it, we’re buying this place and putting someone who works under us to have this as our meeting place. plus, your grandmother is old, she should retire already.”

heesung grits his teeth.

“you’ve got a few days to pay this months rent, our tax included, before we kick you out. and you either get kicked out without owing us money or you get licked out owing us the money, your choice.” he glares down at heesung, “and careful trying to go against us, it won’t be pretty.” he turns towards his men and gestures for their leave.

“they want to close the restaurant,” she says with teary eyes as soon as her and heesung are alone.

heesung stares at her before ripping the paper out of her hands. the demand is absurd. it’s sketchy but oh so believable. they know what they’re doing and exactly how to do it too. a few days? how many exactly? they don’t seem very lenient, if anything heesung is assuming three days at most.

“ma, this is…” he pauses, he can’t be brutal to her. “i’ll take care of it ma, remember, i’m the best lawyer you have ever met.”

she grabs his hand and rubs his knuckles with the pad of her thumb, her tears dripping down her face. “oh heesung…”

heesung is running to the office again. he had missed the bus, having checked and double, triple, quadruple checked the demand and whatever else is in that stupid paper they received last night. he looks horrendous, barely put together.

his grandmother had woken up as soon as she heard him cruse and run around to get ready. despite her emotional state, she prepared him a cup of coffee and cut him a slice of cake (she said it’s for sunoo but heesung doesn’t think the guy deserves it-)

heesung crashes face forward into a wall. actually, the wall isn’t that hard. he curses and almost loses his balance when he bounces back-

“woah there, you okay?” a voice asks, a hand coming behind his lower back to help him regain his balance.

“ah, my bad, i didn’t mean to!” heesung winces, seeing how the guy’s shirt is stained with coffee. the cake he was carrying in a small plate flew out to the floor but not without smearing itself on the man’s shirt.

all worry and panic leaves heesung when a few fingers grab his chin and force him to look to the side. is the guy fucking inspecting him?!

“that’s a nasty bruise you have there,” you say, darkened eyes gazing upon the purple thing.

heesung slaps your hand away, “couldn’t tell. please step aside, i have places to be.”

“oh? where would a pretty thing like you go in such a hurry?”

“none of your business,” heesung grits out.

this guy, heesung thinks bitterly in his mind.

“well i do have to remind you that you spilled coffee over my very expensive shirt. not just coffee, look i have chocolate smeared over right here-“

“okay i get it!” heesung groans as he watches you point out the very obvious. “i don’t got money though-“

“yet, you have coffee to go and-“

“my grandmother has a restaurant, i can get these things you know,” heesung grumbles, looking around in thought. “i could invite you to dinner.”

“oh a date,” you grin stupidly.

“forget it-“

“ah but you see this stain won’t let me forget-“

“argh!” heesung groans, slamming his head against the wall.

you watch him with amusement, “hey, now. don’t go messing up your whole face, i like what i see.”

“you’re an ass,” heesung huffs, “look, i really can’t entertain you for long. this is my grandmother’s restaurant,” he takes out a card and hands it to him, heesung always carries them around, never wasting an opportunity to promote. “just go there and tell her i invited you and she’ll understand.”

“oh? i won’t have the pleasure of seeing you?” you frown.

“hell no,” heesung blurts out. “i mean-“ ugh, maybe he should you look sketchy as fuck. “fine. i get off late today though.”

“just give me an estimated time,” you say casually, putting the card away in the pocket of your shirt. “and your name.”

“eight thirty,” he says. he eyes you before going, “heesung.”

you hum, eyeing him. he really is beautiful, how sad that he has a bruise on his cheek. cute too, with his furrowed brows and glare. “quite late for dinner, but i’ll take it.”

whatever, heesung huffs. “now if you excuse me i have to go.”

he walks around you before jogging back his path to the office. he’s so glad the coffee fell on you and not on him, as much as that sounds horrible. he can’t help it.

by the time heesung snaps out of all the work he’s in, it’s when his grandmother calls him. he curses through his teeth, realizing itself 9 PM already. is the guy there? shit, did he do something? he really was sketchy wasn’t he-

“heesung, my dear,” she says sweetly, “will you come by the restaurant?”

“is everything okay ma?” he asks immediately, ready to stand and run out without putting anything away.

“yes, yes. all good, but there’s a man that walked in earlier and asked if you were here already,” she says.

he swallows, “what did he look like?”

damn it, why is he asking? he doesn’t even remember what you look like, just that you’re a little taller than him but it’s not exactly by much. at least he doesn’t think so. yeah, he really can’t remember.

“mm, he was rather short, boxy and had a suit on.”

okay that definitely isn’t you though. “uh, i’ll head out right now.” there’s a silence on the other side of the phone after he announces that. he stops packing and questions her. “ma?”

“it’s… going to be hard isn’t it?” grandmother asks.

heesung fidgets, “don’t worry about it ma, i’m coming back to the office tomorrow. i’ll leave really early, this will be over as soon as possible.”

“okay, be safe on your way.”

“will do.”

would the men really try anything outside the restaurant? he genuinely doesn’t know. he can’t help but glance around every now and then as he goes down the street. it’s crowded tonight but even in movies a crowd is the best distraction. ah, he really is screwed isn’t he? he has no evidence, no information.

he really won’t be of any use, will he? even for his grandmother?

heesung stares at his shoes as they walk on the pavement. what will he do? what can he do?

he looks up when he’s finally close to the restaurant, turning the corner. seems like no customers tonight- his heart drops when he’s yanked from behind. he expected a knife or a gun pressed against him but when his eyes catch your devilish smile, he gets angry.

“FUCK,” heesung gasps, looking at you like you’re insane. he shoves you before yelling, “the fuck you scared me for?”

you chuckle, amused at his reaction. “you must have a lot on your mind to have not noticed you even pushed me aside a minute ago.”

“what?” he goes droopy, looking back at the path he came. there’s a car parked down the street there. did he really not see you? “well, whatever. come on, let’s get something to eat.”

“you’re hungry?” you ask, enjoying his personality already.

he guides you past the gates, but something catches your eye when he pushes one of the gate doors to a complete openness.

“oh heesung! you’re here!” a voice chirps happily from a few feet away.

“ah, ma i brought someone with me and we’ll get something to eat if you don’t mind.” he says, bowing at her figure that pops up at the door.

“of course, you don’t have to ask for permission.”

heesung smiles brightly at her before turning to you. you take him aback, however.

“may i speak with you out here for a moment?” you say, cold and with a dark expression.

heesung stares at you, confused at how quickly your mood changed. “uh, sure?” he turns to his grandmother who’s sweeping, “ma, we’ll be outside, give us a minute!”

“okay, love,” she says, continuing her way to sweep away.

heesung follows you when you take a few steps away. “what is it? my grandmas cooking is good, don’t tell me you’re backing out just because it’s not a high end restaurant-“

“did you get that bruise from a man named si-hyeong?”

everything shifts under heesung. what the hell are you talking about? he takes a moment to eye you up and down. one; he doesn’t know your name. two; who the hell is si-hyeong? three; what the fuck.

“uh…”

“better yet, did one of his men hurt you?”

“i don’t know who your talking about- and, why are you asking-“

you point at a small graffiti design on the floor, just under the gate door and extremely close to its hinges. how the hell you saw that, he doesn’t know. even he can’t exactly see it that well.

“tell me, did they threaten your grandmother?”

heesung snaps his eyes back at you. “i… yeah…”

with a nod, you look around. “may i ask what you work as?”

heesung narrows his eyes. “first, tell me your name. don’t lie to me either.”

you stare at him, “my name is l/n y/n.”

“okay, and before i tell you what i do depends on what you tell me.”

a small smile plays on your lips. “i’m simply from an organization that can help you keep your grandmother’s restaurant and get those men off your necks depending on your answer.”

heesung chews on the inside of his cheek. you really are sketchy. “i’m a lawyer.”

“who’s barely making ends meet if i remember correctly,” you tease.

“fuck you,” heesung huffs.

“well, lawyer heesung,” you say, stepping real close to heesung’s personal bubble. “if you help me, i’ll help you. i’m assuming they’ve given you a short amount of time to pay whatever absurd thing they’ve requested.”

heesung eyes you before nodding, for some reason he feels like you’re decently trustworthy. “yeah… but what is it?” you raise a brow, he elaborates. “what do you need?”

“a couple of things,” you smile, “but first i need to speak to the sweet lady that owns this place.”

heesung grants you just that.

“you’re quite the handsome man, are you a friend of heesung?” grandmother lee asks.

you stare at the elderly lady, eyes narrow. “you could say that.”

she smiles, placing a cup of coffee in front of you. you watch the steam before gently taking it, bowing respectfully at her in thanks. heesung sighs, sitting next to you on the small couch.

“mrs.lee, i’m working with heesung in your case, i had a question to make.” you say decisively.

she looks at you with a startled expression. “oh! go ahead,” she smiles.

“when did they come to threaten you about paying more in your bills?” you eye her, hands on the coffee mug. “on your rent?”

heesung looks at you annoyingly before facing his sweet grandmother with a soft expression. he doesn’t know why a knot forms in his throat when she stops smiling.

“yes… a man came in a few weeks ago, maybe even a month or two ago, saying i had to pay more. an absurd price….” she looks down.

heesung’s brows furrow. when did this happen? why hasn’t she told him? he naturally looks over at you, who has an indecipherable expression.

“and did you pay it?”

her eyes water, “i had to… he and his men said if i didn’t then they’d hurt my boys.”

“your boys?” you ask, unsure of who she means other than heesung.

“my best friend works with her, she technically raised us both,” he elaborates gently. “ma, why didn’t you tell me? is that why you told jay to-“

“you won’t have to worry about those men coming to threaten you anymore,” you say, eyes boring into her. “because i know they have.”

she nods, confessing the issue. heesung can’t believe this. his poor grandmother has been suffering from such goading. he won’t stand by it. with a kiss of reassurance on the forehead he sends her to bed, staying back to watch you go. you ended up not getting a meal, requesting a coffee instead. you had promised her to return soon for a meal though.

“so we start tomorrow, right?” he says as he guides you out the house.

the height difference is a little noticeable as you stand by the gate and look down at him. the street light casting a shadow on heesung from your frame. your eyes are intense, he realizes they always are.

“i’ll pick you up?” you smile, expression changing.

he’s unsure if it’s creepy or amusing. “uh, i’ll get there on bus. just send me the address.”

“it’s really far.”

“yeah.”

“you could get lost, it’s also really secluded.”

“okay.”

“it would be more efficient if i send someone to pick you up-“

“i don’t care! just send me the address! i’ll be there at 9 exact! don’t look down on me you piece of shit.” he huffs before spinning around and leaving you outside the house gates.

you smile as his figure disappears inside the house. it might seem you’ll get more than what you’re looking for.

🏷️ TAG LIST — @horijiro @lionzyon

©OIMITOCAT

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

May I request some full HCs of the M6 with an ex coliseum fighter MC?

The Arcana HCs: M6 with an ex-Coliseum fighter MC

Julian

His first thought when he laid eyes on you after he broke into your shop was "wow, they must have some stories to tell!"

Oddly enough, the physical (and mental/emotional) scars you carry from your time in the Coliseum are big reasons for why he chooses to trust you - and, eventually to cherish you. You've been through it

As someone who's had quite the wild life himself, he can trust you to understand how difficult experiences do and don't define who you are. He knows if he talks about life with pirates, you'll get it

If it's his turn to have a nightmare, he doesn't have to worry that talking about his bad dreams will expose you to new horrors. If it's your turn, he's a light sleeper for good reasons

Tends to pry for stories about your time there, but in a good way that pushes you to process what it was like

Checked over all the scars you accumulated there and regularly asks after any lingering chronic pain from the injuries

Once he's gotten past the initial flirtatious comments and the awkwardness of opening up, he'd be lying if he doesn't find the scars and background very attractive. Rough him up anytime ~

Asra

They're in two minds about the whole situation and they're not totally sure how to proceed with it when discomfort isn't their thing

He's glad you're not there anymore. He often wonders if you coming back without memories was actually a merciful thing, if it meant not remembering the details of your trauma

They hate seeing all the marks of pain and violence on your body, because it's like a reminder to them of one of the many ways they somehow let you down or left you alone when you needed help

Deep down, however, it's beyond comforting to him to know what you're capable of surviving without help, because he knows he can't always be there for you no matter how hard he tries

They know that if you're ever in a situation again where your life is threatened, you'll fight viciously to preserve it. They hate that you experienced it and hope you never will again, but they're relieved

All that to say, he doesn't know how to talk about it and he's not going to broach the subject unless you do

Still committed to loving you and being open with you. They know you, they know you're good, and they want you to know them too

Nadia

When she first met you, she assumed the scars must have come from fighting in a war. The Coliseum didn't occur to her

She doesn't even have the clearest memories of it, since she only really saw it after being married to the man who instated it. That doesn't stop her from feeling immensely guilty about it

This happened to you while she had the power to push back against it, and she didn't. There was so much going wrong that she never addressed because she was holed up in her tower, hiding

That only spurs her to try to make things right. You do receive a halting but heartfelt apology from her early on, and a respectful invitation to share your experience with her at your comfort

Just as you've helped her to move on and recover, she wants to do the same for you. You have a powerful skill set. To the extent that you're willing to, she'd love to see you put it to noble use

How do you feel about teaching martial arts? She'll put you in touch with Nahara, and will help you fund a teaching studio for anyone who could use the coaching

Or you could be her personal bodyguard ...

Muriel

More than anything, he's just relieved he never had to kill you. He already has so much regret to live with, and the thought of ending the person who would've made life good again is horrific

That doesn't make you easy to be around at first. Everything about you brings back the memories he wants to leave behind

The scars that match his, the way you react to movement, even the way you walk to compensate for the drag of chains you don't wear anymore. You're the un-hateable mirror of everything that hurts

And that's just after the first few days. Truthfully, you scare him, and even after building a new life with you there are still moments when being perceived by you terrifies him, because you get him

You don't need words or confessions to understand the hell that's shaped him so profoundly. And even when he can't stand to carry someone else's pain on top of his own, he still understands yours

It's precisely that forced vulnerability that makes loving you so profoundly healing. He loves you for you, he loves you for the pain you've experienced, and since it's the same as his own, he's learning to love himself begrudgingly in the process

Portia

Not put off by you at all, which is extremely rare for you

She finds it attractive if anything. You look like someone who's really lived. You look like someone who gives as good as they get

It makes her a little uncomfortable to be around at first. She's so quickly caught up in the coolness and excitement of your violent past that she can get borderline insensitive with her questions

What's it like to be in a fight? Who's the biggest person you fought? Did you really have to kill all of your opponents? How many did you kill? Was there a lot of blood? What weapons did you use?

Does a complete 180 the first time she sees the emotional and mental toll it's taken on you. She's so empathetic, it takes all of five seconds for her to understand this is trauma before she's weeping

So very happy to be your anchor and grounding presence. She will hold you and grieve with you and never, ever, ever look at you differently for what you were a part of. You're not scary to her

Almost overprotective when it comes to how other people perceive you. Someone's acting like you're the scariest person in the room and making you uncomfortable? She's about to prove them wrong

Lucio

After spending three years as a goat ghost, he doesn't care who you are, just talk to him - oh, his survival depends on your good graces? And he had you stuck as a Coliseum fighter? Hmmm

Tried to hide it, but he was scared at first. He was smart enough to know that you had good reason to dislike him, and therefore plenty of reason to further mess him up in such a vulnerable state

But you didn't. Which made him confused. And curious

Tell him about your time there, then! What was it like being in the ring? Being a participant in his favorite fight of yours?

Oh. Oh, it was that bad? ..... oh.

He carries guilt for every painful repercussion you experience. It was shame, and now it looks more like remorseful responsibility, but he doesn't need it rubbed in his face to know it was wrong

What he also knows is a valuable lesson you taught him, which is both the importance and possibility of making things right

You will never have a nightmare he won't be ready to comfort you for. You will never have an injury he won't be getting his clothes dirty for treating it. You will always, always have him by your side

[manatee-rp-memes]

Drawfee and Secret Sleepover Society Sentence Starters

~Feel free to tweak as needed~

"He strikes me as a pervert."

"This is not fine. You're actually, like, completely fucked."

"YES! First try, baby!"

"You must know, the room is in shambles."

"She shlep on my philly 'til I'm red hot."

"It was never my intention to brag, but I wrote a whole song about it."

"The thing I think you don't understand... it feels so good!"

"Oh nooo, I'm too handsome and strong!"

"That fucking song slaps my damn crack."

"I bet I can interest you in some junk!"

"Is there something here that has caught you off-guard?"

"I'm the big boss man!"

"I hold myself to a higher standard. That's why I only say really smart, cool things."

"You know what they say; early to bread, early to rise."

"It's open season on_____."

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit, you piece of shit."

"Do you even care that he's trapped in a storm beyond time?"

"I don't like to start my day with waking up, it just happens."

"If God's ever been mad at anything I've said, he hasn't done shit about it. So, he either doesn't care or he's a coward."

"That's not a real name. That's what you call a horse with a lot of personality."

"This isn't just regular nonsense. This is advanced nonsense."

"Let me be very clear. In a manner of my choosing, on a day you least expect, revenge is coming."

"I'm going to punch your wiener clean off."

"Life is pain and suffering, what's up?”

"I think our talk later is just going to be a murder."

"I have a fast stroke... of my pen! Of my pen!"

“It’s like we all vaguely hate each other today."

"Stop the violence!"

"Oh, hitman!"

"I know you've been going through some stuff right now, and it's on us tonight. We're gonna make sure you remember, y' know, why life is fun and worth living."

"Have I mentioned you look really sexy?"

"We're getting a little buck wild."

"I'm literally engaged in the artistic process, you assholes!"

"We'll be annoying in any situation, no matter how life-threatening."

[nerdieforpedro]

Her smile was worth it

Pero Tovar (modern AU) x plus size female reader (La jefa)

Word Count: 1882

Warnings: DARK FIC, mobs and their enforcers, mentions of general violence and graphic violence, mentions and descriptions of torture, descriptions of injuries, solving problems Tovar style, comfort food and tea

Summary: Pero Tovar only has a few people he chooses to interact with willingly. The bookstore owner is one of them. Someone made a very stupid mistake, Tovar will handle it and still have his tea.

Notes: This was written for @iamasaddie ‘s writing challenge 2.0. My color was Mob Enforcer and the prompt was “Hurt/Comfort” and “Who did this to you?” We're longer than a Drabble again, we dribbled quite a bit. Such is Nerdie.

I may have leaned too hard into the ‘hurt portion’ but we’ll see. 👀

Main Masterlist/ Pero Tovar Masterlist/ Writing Challenges

The only good thing about doing collections, was that most of the time, Pero wasn’t using violence. Just intimidation. The shopkeepers knew why he was here and knew the amount they needed to pay to The Family. It’s been the same amount for the past six months, in was raised temporarily for some needed repairs on the club the Valentino family owned. The actual story was that a few of the younger members had been ordered to torture a few members of a rival family and went overboard. The walls, floors and everything needed to be scrubbed. 

Tovar’s been with the Valentino family for fifteen years and as one of their premier enforcers for the last seven working his way up from errand boy. His height and broad frame discourage crossing him, and even if someone is dumb enough to do so, they find themselves bloodied, battered and with at least one thing broken. 

Today’s last stop for collections was planned and one that Pero normally did by himself. The bookstore owner also functions as the town’s librarian since the town doesn’t have one. It’s a smaller town and to get to a library you must drive two towns over. She normally offers him tea and some type of baked goodies. He wouldn’t admit it, but he’s grown to have a slight sweet tooth. Maybe. Really, he could care less about the sweets, he usually chats up the owner and barrows books. Considering he is collecting money from her, he felt he should pay but she always said no. He got the sense it wasn’t out of fear, she liked knowing his thoughts on different books. At first, he didn’t like the idea of discussing them. The enforcer wasn’t sure if he could really talk about different themes, symbols, characters and the like he often heard people talk about when discussing these books. 

La jefa (the boss) as he often greeted her didn’t judge him on his answers or lack of them. He’d talk the best he could about what he read, even if he didn’t understand it all. She listens and sips her tea, then asks him questions to draw more answers out of him. It fustrated him at first. But he grew to enjoy the bi-weekly sit downs with her. 

The chime of the bell goes off as he opens the door. The sun is at Pero’s back as he enters the bookstore. He comes early in the afternoon around two. She’s not at the counter, though the shop is listed as open. Calling out for her, she doesn’t answer, and he sucks his teeth. It isn’t like her at all. There’s no tea out either. There are no books that appear out of place and making his way behind the counter, nothing appears to be wrong with the register.

The enforcer goes into the back of the shop, he only knew where the bathroom was back here. He was looking for anything that resembled an office, as he walked down the hallway, there was a sniffle. As he kept going, they got louder. Taking a breath while he stood in front of a door that was slightly ajar, he tried to prepare himself. Maybe it was a bad day, maybe she got a papercut or was reading a sad book or something. Tovar instantly knew none of those were the case when he opened the door. 

Sitting behind the desk, her shoulders were slumped, and her hands were covering her face. He saw the scabs on the back of her hands, defensive marks. “Jefa dejame ver. (Boss, let me have a look).” Her sniffles stop for a moment as she shakes her head, turning her body away from him in the swivel chair. His eyes widen at the mark on her neck he spies it when she turns, it looks like it could be from a palm. Moving to her side, Pero places a hand on her shoulder, “I need to see cariño (sweetheart) or just give me a name. Who did this to you?” She finally drops her hands, but she turns her face away.

“I don’t want you to see. The envelope is on the desk Pero. Please.”  It is on the table, and he’ll put it in his jacket shortly - it is why he came here in the first place, but he can’t just leave like this. On top of her being one of a small number of people who he wants to be around, it could get around that the protection money the shops pay isn’t worth a damn because you could get beat in your own shop, and nothing will happen to whoever did it.

“Then tell me a name.” It’s sterner this time, but he’s released her shoulder and instead picked up her hand, his thumb tracing the scabs on her knuckles. She’d tried to fight back at least. She’s biting her lips when she finally looks at him, most of the discoloration is on the left side of her face though there’s a cut on her chin and one on her bottom lip. A large bruise is on her chest across her right clavicle, partly covered by her shirt. Pero’s able to keep his face motionless. “Por favor cariño (please sweetheart).” He doesn’t recognize the name she says, but he kisses her forehead and wraps an arm around her. “Gracias (thank you). I’ll be back princesa (princess).” 

Pero puts the envelope in his jacket pocket and heads out of the office. “Close the shop now and have the tea ready when I come back. Between eight and nine tonight.” He’s going to be quick about dropping the money off and he’s texted one of his associates with the name she gave. Within fifteen minutes, Pero has a picture to go with the name and a location. Marcello talks way too much, but he’s the best Tovar knows at tracking people.

Pero finds this man himself and tells Marcello to tell the higher ups that he needs to demonstrate a lesson in messaging with the family. He’ll need the basement and he’ll keep the clean up to a minimum. It’s not that there wouldn’t be blood. There might be too much blood so the powers at be approve the basement use but ask that Marcello and a second enforcer be there so that the man isn’t killed. There’s only murder when necessary and it wasn’t they viewed in this case. Pero sucked his teeth for the second time today but would make sure the man in question lives. Just not with all functioning limbs. 

After the submission of the money and subsequent torture was complete, the man’s body was bandaged by one of their doctors on the payroll and dropped off at his home, during a time they knew his family would be home with the message, “The Valentino family suffers no fools.” Pero carved it into his back to emphasize the point. He was still alive but would not be the same. Not after, as Tovar saw it, he’s violated one of his favorite places. 

La jefa has long closed her shop and made herself dinner. Now that she thought about it, she’s never made Pero any of her food, just cookies, brownies and the like. Since he said he was coming back, she would make extra. The worst that would happen would be that he would say he didn't want any.  It also dawned on her that she has not made a book recommendation today. She should pick one out before he comes, straightening out her mint green dress. Turning off the stove, she went downstairs to look for a book and saw Pero standing at the door ready to knock. It was a quarter after eight, he was glad he’d taken the extra time to shower. He didn’t want to be late, but he didn’t want to be dirty either. 

“Ah! Mi princesa del librios es bonita (My Princess of books is pretty). You have our tea ready tonight?” His question follows the chime of the bell above the door as she unlocks it and lets him in. She then locks it again and nods.

“I have tea and I made some extra for dinner. I didn’t pick out a book for you yet.” She seems a bit brighter than this afternoon but still trying to make sure she was facing him with her right side. Pero takes her left hand and tugs it a little, not hard, just enough so she faces him fully.

“Hermosa (gorgeous) you don’t have a bad side. Don’t worry about the book. I haven’t finished with the other one yet. I want my tea and I want to see what you made for dinner.” The corners of her mouth curve and finally she smiles, squeezing his hand and leading him up the stairs. Pero watches her walk up and into her living area. It’s cozy as it has books scattered about as well. 

“I don’t know if you like stew, but I made that and heated up some rolls. There’s butter too. I have water, apple juice, coke, and some rum.” The last option surprised him as he didn’t picture her drinking at all. Maybe she had a glass or two when she sat up here before bed. She poured herself a glass of water as Pero pointed to her glass and held up an empty bowel on the table. She filled both and they sat down across from each other. “I hope you enjoy Pero.”

“I don’t doubt that I will cariño.” The food went quickly as they ate, and she asked what other kind of foods he liked. Pero felt he might be getting greedy. Perhaps he’s been gluttonous of her attention each time he comes here. She gives it so willingly. 

Tonight’s tea is mint like her dress which makes Tovar chuckle as he takes up half of her loveseat sitting down. She takes up the other and they sip tea, speaking of past books they’ve read and things he may want to read. 

Even if he got an urgent call, he’ll ignore it because he’s having his tea. Pero Tovar doesn’t feel like an enforcer or a conduit for violence. He just has an arm around one of his favorite people as she places her head on his shoulder. The tough pads of his fingers touch the injured side of her face while he tells her that it’s been taken care of. He won’t tell her details. Tovar figures she can put it together. If he can just have moments like these where he’s just a man with someone he cares for, Pero can use that to sleep. He prays she can rest without crying or being scared. 

The loveseat has his feet hanging off outside of the blanket he found on the back of it. So far, he hasn’t heard her sniffle again. Pero carried her to bed after she fell asleep in his arms. The faint scent of mint mingling with the earthy smell of the books lulls him to sleep. He had blood on his hands again today, but it was fine. It was for her sake, and she hasn’t cried again.

It was worth it.

[gl1tchr]

Do you think Paul Dano’s riddler is going to die in this universe? And or any of the other rogues (joker Penguin etc.) ?

That is a TOUGH question. I've tried to think about how Reeves used death in Batman, and how death is used in The Penguin to figure out who's *heading* towards it, and it's hard! Death in the Reevesverse is very indiscriminate. It takes the good, the bad, those trying to get better, those actively choosing to be worse. Is Edward's path leading him towards death, or is the more apt narrative punishment for his crimes being forced to continue living in his own mind? I think I lean towards the latter. I've always held firm that Arkhamverse Riddler is HEAVY inspo for Dano Riddler in terms of his narrative decline he will experience over the course of the movies. Beginning as a (still unethical and frankly delusional about his motives) well-intentioned vigilante genuinely doing what he thought would fix things (Early Riddler YO when he's still trying to go thru conventional routes to uncover corruption), to a more overtly violent and vindictive antagonist (End of R:YO and Batman 2022), and finally, into a severely deluded, broken man with very little self awareness because every moment he spends in introspection is painful. He must reckon with his actions and it is brutal, and THAT is his punishment. The quieting of his mind through death is a mercy for Riddler, AND MAYBE with the themes Reeves is going for, giving the Riddler PEACE could be a possible choice depending on what is set up in the second movie! Though, I'm leaning towards his narrative punishment being to live with who he is; Edward Nashton, The Riddler.

WARNING: I mention suicide by explosives ahead

AN ADENDUM; This is just something cool my brother thought of when we talked about Ed's future in the narrative and he agreed that killing him off isn't the move, HOWEVER, we explored some ways in which that could be done in and I really enjoyed his. I've talked about how I think Joker is rearing up to really HARDCORE manipulate Edward. I can't tell you how they'd pull this off, but let me paint you a picture.

Movie II, as we now know, will seem to largely focus on more of the mob and gang violence aspect of Gotham and how Batman will be applying his new philosophy of Hope-Above-Vengeance philosophy. So we don't *see* Ed or Joker for 99% of it. Batman's doing his thing when he gets a call from Gordon, Riddler has been acting strangely and has implied he has information that could give Bruce some insight (See: when he went to Arkham for Joker's perspective on Edward - he seems to know when to use these Rogues for his own purposes just as much as they use too) into whoever it is he's trying to find. A familiar scene, Edward across from Bruce in the interrogation room. He looks *horrible*, but he's elated. Bruce is biting back anger - the last time he saw Edward he was *pissed*, and that hasn't settled, but he's trying to be better. He's trying to have hope. Maybe they exchange some words, but that's not really why Edward called him here. Edward tells him that nothing can save this city. If his cleansing didn't save it, if hope isn't saving it, nothing will. So go down with me, Batman. He's got an explosive, rigged to blow, and while he smiles, he kills himself and attempts to take Batman with him. But he fails. What he does do, though, is cause a massive break-out, which Joker takes full advantage of - because he set it up. He wormed his way onto Eddie's fragile mind and convinced him death would be a release AND his vengeance against Batman. But Joker knew this wouldn't kill Batman, be that through some intuitive hunch or maybe he's familiar with how resilient he is. Either way, he will have convinced Edward to take his life if it meant taking down who he both despises and craves so desperately, but it would be a lie. It would just be to get him out. And he would tell Bruce as much - "I did that guy a favor - he was a *mess*, he'd shake my hand if he could but - I think I saw those on the ground when I left". Edward, always someone's punching bag, months very end. So, in that way, even though death is still mercy for Edward, it's still cruel. NOW I DONT THINK THIS WORKS NARRATIVELY ON A LOT OF LEVELS, it was just a REALLY chilling thought to imagine Edward's manic joy as he accepted he was going to die, but would finally hurt someone as much as hes been hurt. I liked it a lot and thought I'd share just for funsies :]

[asleepinawell]

lingering questions and thoughts on the dlc lore

first off, some of these may have been addressed in item descriptions and i either 1) missed an item or 2) read it but it was 3am and my brain didn't retain some detail

all opinions are just opinions etc, i have no interest in getting in lore fights and block people who try and start them. I'm too tired for that shit. this is just fun speculation

one question i had that i feel must have been answered was what was the scadutree actually for?

what was the timeline regarding messmer and melina's birth? they're referred to together as if they're twins or were born close together. my assumption was that messmer at least was radagon's kid with marika, but the dialogue of the story trailer implies his purge took place shortly after marika's ascension. marika could have split off radagon fairly early (even as part of the process of becoming a god like miquella and st trina) but there was no mention of them having kids until after the rennala thing much later on. my assumption about his parentage is based on 1) hair color and 2) he has a special curse which gives him something in common with malenia/miquella. he is not an empyrean though so maybe radagon isn't the dad (did you fuck the god devouring snake marika????)

i don't want to touch on the miquella and radahn stuff too much since I'm not interested in The Discourse. (i found the parts of the story about marika and the hornsent to be far more interesting). i will say that while the radahn thing felt like it came out of nowhere, the reason miquella didn't choose malenia is probably because 1) she's another empyrean and therfore a candidate for being a god, not a lord, and 2) she's already been claimed by a god. godwyn would have been the more lore logical choice but he didn't even get a mention, like "miquella wanted him but his soul was gone". so weird choice (and bad boss fight) but eh

i'm not sure if miquella's two fingers is ever commented on but he and ranni both followed a similar path in abandoning their flesh to remove themselves from the greater will's influence except ranni then went feral and stabbed hers to death and then got engaged while still covered in its blood. 10/10 no notes

one thing I'd wanted but hadn't expected to get was the reason marika smashed the ring. the whole "woman went crazy because her son died" thing is very grrm and 😬 about what i expect from how his writing handles women, BUT! i think the dlc gives a more complicated possibility for this. marika gets her tragic backstory (which i was also dreading because grrm) and it's one that actually made a lot of sense in terms of the lore and did a good job explaining her actions without justifying them (she slapped the cycle of violence on the roof and was like this bad boy can fit so much perpetuation). the fact she removed death from the elden ring after having witnessed the brutal extermination of her people makes complete sense. and then her son gets killed. she obtained godhood to punish the hornsent and to protect what was left of her people (which seems to mostly be the children she had later) and the elden ring failed her and her kid died. it wasn't grief over her son, so much as past trauma mixed with extreme anger. she took on godship to prevent this and the elden ring had failed her. it had one job basically. radagon, who lacked her memories, was immune to this. overall i think that's a decent plot compared to what it could have been

the whole story with the hornsent also makes the story of morgot and mohg much darker (and it was already dark). marika must have been really pissed and upset to have omen children (maybe part of why she ditched godfrey?). since they were her blood she wouldn't have killed them (since protecting the last of the shamans/numen was her thing), but man. fucked up if true etc

marika probably would have gone apeshit about jarburg if she hadn't been off being crucified

also since ranni was not marika's kid (or wasn't raised by her per se) she might not have known anything about marika's backstory and not expected marika's reaction to godwyn's death. edit: this is not me being like ranni did nothing wrong. i support women's wrongs. i think they should do more of them. more like, imagine ranni kills godwyn and then suddenly marika smashes the ring and all the other demigods go nuts and start waging war and she's just like huh. wild. and then fucks off to her tower until they all get it out of their systems

the lgbtq community has forgiven mohg is possibly the funniest narrative choice they could have made. poor man didn't even get to yell sex in his fight 😔. at least he had some of the sickest looking moves in the game

rellana was the best boss in the dlc and possibly the whole game imo. the fact she may have been into messmer is really funny though because 1) if you go age of stars that is now your aunt in law kicking your ass and 2) your aunt in law who is into the brother of your wife. what a family. no wonder ranni wants to go to space

[tobi-smp]

you know, I think the thing that made c!phil's writing kind of janky and discordant is Also exactly what makes cc!phil's Strength as a roleplayer

the best way to put it is that phil is the epitome of Yes And. wilbur tells him to kill him and it was a Choice, there was no script that told him that wilbur Had to die that night. but wilbur asked him to and so he did.

wilbur Also asked him to look after tubbo and tommy, So He Did. he fought for l'manberg on the 16th (fought Against dream and techno), and agreed to become a part of l'manberg's government as a mentor figure.

but techno was his friend and they wanted to spend time together when they were online so why be anything else in lore? of Course they're old friends, of Course they spend time together.

the problem arise when there's Conflict between these two groups. because phil Must choose what to do and say and believe at any given moment, to justify Why he would choose to do whatever it he is about to do. but at the end of the day that choice Mostly comes down to what would be cool or fun or interesting in the moment.

and I think ! that there's absolutely nothing wrong with this, and it's actually a Really good mindset to have in the context of this kind of roleplay. and it worked really well early on. it's Interesting that phil Would have a completely uncomplicatedly loyal relationship with techno right away when he Did explicitly stand against him on that first day. it Says Something about their relationship. maybe even implies that they've fought each other before, but it doesn't impact their relationship with each other.

the problem is when it starts contradicting and Twisting and being weird. mainly when it comes to characters that he Both has major conflict with And want to have a positive relationship with him. it becomes a question of Why phil would do something that would hurt them if he cares about them.

after all, it's not just hurt feelings, it's war. even if they had no Intent on killing anybody, it still Could Have ended with people dead.

and again ! that's not an inherently Bad Thing. it actually opens to the door for a lot of interesting character conflict and introspection !

phil is a Very old being, his best friend is famous for being unkillable, his wife is Actually Death who casually possesses him sometimes. having phil be somewhat out of touch with humanity in a way where he doesn't Really understand the emotional weight and Danger of what he's done would make sense ! and of course, that's just one possible explanation that could be replaced with or coincide with another reading.

but it's all complicated Further by there being a very strong ideological bend to the conflicts he's involved with. because it Feels like for him to engage with said conflict Meaningfully he must weigh in with his own take on the ideological conflicts. he's playing a supporting role to technoblade after all, and on paper his entire character Is one big ideological conflict.

but what phil's ideology actually Is shifts to suit whatever story line he needs to support at a given moment, rather than being set in stone First with his role in those story lines being chosen based on a preexisting belief.

and honestly I really Don't blame cc!phil for this, because On Paper the jump in justification for these supporting roles he's played don't look very different. and in fact, you can See where one follows the conclusion to another.

but "choose people" above all else, to the point of being Shocked that tommy might hesitate in the conflict with dream that has the weight of protecting the entire server riding on it, really Does Not gel with whatever happened on doomsday or with letting dream out of prison.

moreover, it only highlights a conflict in ideology between phil and techno. the use of violence as default Even Against active allies or people who'd been considered allies 5 minutes ago doesn't seem to gel with whatever phil had going on in the post-prison break out era.

having phil enable dream to torment tommy during doomsday feels very contradictory to phil's shocked offense that dream would torment A Child the first chance he got after breaking out.

and again ! none of this is inherently a Flaw, it could all be very interesting as set ups for character conflict and as an examination for phil's Own character flaws. having contradictions like this isn't inherently Bad writing when it can so easily be Interesting. open up the door for Richer character writing.

the problem isn't even that none of this was intentional at the time that it was happening, but rather that nobody really seemed to notice it at all. so rather than it being used as a tool to bounce off of For that character examination and conflict. it just kinda. Is.

I think ! what phil needed, and what the server As A Whole needed, was stronger Direction. it's what made the early arcs work as well as they did, because Everyone knew the what the core story Was and could figure out ways to cohesively bounce off of them.

the revolution, the elections, the civil war, they were all Strong skeletons with clear factions and ideologies at play. and so even when people were doing their own things it all Felt Cohesive.

and of course, the dream smp Stopped having a key writer for the those big plot moments with the intent of giving people more personal freedom in their writing. but I think it only served a Lack Of Identity. people who didn't already have a stake in the key conflicts that were already on the server struggled to find their way into them. and struggled to find relevancy Without them.

and I think this was felt the most in the way that people were both afraid of stepping on anybody's toes while Also getting in each other's way like a football field.

like, I Loved tommy's death and resurrection arc. and the sheer Surprise of it and the aftermath was truly incredible to see.

but it was also Weird that people weren't given the chance to react to it on their own terms. like, why did they plan the syndicate meeting months in advance just to have it dropped on them with no way to prepare for or modulate their responses?

phil and techno's reactions to tommy's death are So Weird when we consider their relationship with him both before And After. and it's difficult to reconcile because it's Understandable that the cc's didn't want to derail their planned lore to make it About tommy's story line. But It's Not Like We Can Pretend It Didn't Happen Either.

and there's lots of ways that people have tried to reconcile this, lots of ways that I've even personally Enjoyed. but in terms of what's actually In the source material It Just Kind Of Is.

phil cares about tommy, he wants to guide him and protect him because he recognizes that he's a child in a dangerous position, but he also laughs when he hears dream beat him to death in prison and he also laughed while dropping bombs on tommy's head with dream at his side. and these all just kind of Are.

I can't even tell if this is all weirder before or after canon sbi was retconned.

and so these inconsistencies tug at all of the major story beats that phil's character is involved with, all while all of them Mostly work well in isolation. and it's so easy to see how this could've been avoided with stronger direction and story planning.

in other words, It's Dream's Fault.

[localsharkcryptid]

you can make both always. I love the concepts of boths designs for cdream. One bc it's shocking seeing the guy that destroyed countries and scared everyone into thinking he's a monter, just being a human like everyone in all senses.

And the other bc it's actually cool to challenge the ideas we have and how it's easy to dehumanize things that look different from the standards qe have. And how people don't think someone can be vulnerable or hurt when does not look close to what we think as "vulnerable".

Cdream fits so well with either design it's hard to choose i get You struggled sm

You get it Anon, you get it

On the one hand, Dream being human - just a guy who has made himself larger than life and flaunts this persona of him being the villain and a threat, is so satisfying during the staged finale in particular. The person behind the mask is just a 20 something guy. He's young. He's human. He's human and is constantly treated as lesser. It's an excellent narrative for the story and adds a LOT to the guy who's POV we never get. I do love any Dream that is just a guy for that choice alone.

Though hybrid Dream, GOD, it writes a slightly different story that's just as compelling. Admittedly I almost always fall back into writing him as a hybrid, and it's without a doubt my favorite for the variety AND the reasons you listed as well as some of my own.

Cause usually, regardless of who it is, there's a decent amount of other hybrids on the server, it's established that they are at the least uncommon - but most likely society still follows a similar status quo to us on how they judge. There are unspoken rules of society for the hybrids that are 'dangerous', that you don't bear your natural weapons, you don't do anything to make others uncomfortable, you must conform to the comforts of others. It's all subtext and undertones, rules never spoken. Societal Conventions the loathed.

I'd like to think, with my Dream who's a chimera - based on the combination of a Florida Bobcat, General Ambiguous Serpent Creature & a Bongo/Forest Antelope (taking that last one from my buddy Charlie cause it's just so silly) - that he detests such things and has fought his whole life to ignore them, he wants to be accepted for ALL that he is, he doesn't want to bend to rules that paint him as dangerous and untrustworthy if he doesn't adhere to shit that people don't even talk about. This is without a doubt why the server in its early days is so important to him, cause he doesn't need to hide, his friends accept him and could care less about what he is. He's not a monster, he's a friend, he's a companion. They care about who he is - not what he is. Even if his reputation from the manhunt days proceeds him. The mask only becomes a courtesy when new people show up, to hide his face - not for their sake, but for his own anonymity that ties back to the Manhunt reputation, it is not to hide his fangs despite what others may think.

Then there's the thing of him being shoved into this box cause of what he is, and it makes it so easy for others to dehumanize him - to villainize - to justify. Yes, he's done bad things, he's done horrible acts and it's all too easy for people to say "it's in his nature" than to acknowledge HIS perspective and reasons, to even consider that maybe, just maybe he was simply pushed too far. A snake kicked one too many times. And unfortunately every single time he's forced to or tries to defend himself with the only language anyone understands, violence, it's just more 'justification' that he cannot change and is eternally a danger.

It also adds another layer of parallels between him and Sam - Who in my interpretation has done everything he can to fit in with society, to prove he's not a monster or anything of the like, he's a good guy. Unfortunately as we all know, that line of thinking goes to Sam's head in the end, and he becomes a monster for reasons that have nothing to do with him being a creeper hybrid. And that's not even TOUCHING Rivals Duo and how they mirror each other.

---

I could say SOOOO much more but I think you get the gist - I generally just have such a soft spot for characters who look different/have certain features and are shunned by society for it in one way or another + plus the whole motif of characters who struggle to change their ways cause it's the only thing that works - At the end of the day I'll be sticking with the hybrid take, for sure, I was just stuck in my own head thinking it over for a minute XD

[kravchikfreak]

i feel like sometimes people would come up with some cool headcanons and interpretations, but then they'll convince themselves that it's literally shown canon with no place for doubt and then they'll act as if everyone else is dumb for not consuming the media the way they do it

(i guess i'm guilty as well, but i'm allowed to cause i'm actually right all the time)

like the second season of arcane got tons of criticism for bad writing, and, naturally, there're people who would defend their favorite show just cause THEY interpreted it in a way that makes sense to the point that when i go to arcane criticism tag to see what problem other people have with the show i also see show's defenders who pissed not everyone sees it as they do

and um i mean it's fine, i get it, we are all the same, just in different camps, whatever. but i have a story. one time i had to do coursework and i barely touched it before the last night before deadline came. and i thought to myself "welp i really need to work on it now, i only have 8 hours left" and when i turned on my laptop and was about to open up the files the power went out in the entire building. and my laptop had a shit battery that worked for like 1,5 minutes without charging. so i thought it was kinda funny and called my mom and told her "see? the only time i decided to do something studying-related and this happens. universe must be trying to send me a sign" and my mom went like "yeah, a sign that you need to try harder! despite all the obstacles that might come to your way"

so, who out of us two doesn't have a sign literacy? is sign literacy dead? or was it just a shit unclear sign and its interpretation depends solely on the person who interprets it and their life experience, beliefs, mentality and so on?

anyway, if you think you feel the character and you can imagine their motives and goals that's cool i guess, but doesn't mean the show actually succeeded to state them in canon. if you can see just some random plot points without any actual on-screen transition between them and just understand what transitions was implied it's also really cool, but for me for example if i wanted to just have some guide points and use my imagination for the rest i'd just scroll through "imagine" tag on tumblr rather then watching an actual show that's supposed to tell the story, not key points of the story

and no, the show doesn't have to tell a viewer everything by words. but it still have to tell you everything, actually, just by all different kinds of storytelling. and leaving everything to viewers imagination isn't a storytelling. like yeah i guess i can come up with some character development that makes you go from pointing a gun at a child (when you already compromised your ability to sharpshoot) to very judgmental "why is peace always the justification for violence?" (right after you actually tell you aren't ready to withdraw your forces and half an hour early we have a cool montage of your forces being pretty violent already) but i feel like it's writers job, not mine

but hey, you do you anyway. who am i to care

in fact i actually feel you. i'll die on the hill of silco being a great dad and caring deeply about jinx. but tho we have in fact canon proof she mean the world to him (actual story actually telling us he chooses her over his ultimate goal) at the same time we don't really have a good explanation on his whole beef with vi. yeah, i still can make my headcanons about his insecurity and fear of losing jinx after she tells her something about something, but it still sounds weak and not really explained in the show. also not a great writing

okay i'm officially lost in my thoughts, gotta wrap it up somehow. let's end on the point that some of interpretations the show leaves you with this season don't make much sense and in other cases it doesn't even give you any material to interpret but straight up leaves you with the responsibility of come up with events and development of the story and characters. and while a viewer might be good at this or even enjoy it, it's still very bad writting actually

peace

[bella-goths-wife]

The volturi finding out about reader and wolf incident

“I want her back” Caius demanded as his grip on the letter tightened.

Marcus had informed them early in the morning of a letter arriving. A letter sent by raven from one of the rogues they had commanded to watch over you.

In this letter was a detailed description of their favourite little vampires recent stunt. Of her suicidal attempt at crossing into wolf territory and her fostering a friendship between them, and of course they read of Carlisles cruel actions and violence towards you.

The kings were concerned for you, their sweet gentle girl. They had refrained of taking it to the guard but they were definitely worried for you safety.

And now Caius was making demands, this situation was beginning to spin out of control.

“I agree” Marcus said with a sad tone as he reread the letters contents “they are torturing our girl”

“I understand, but we can’t just take her” aro said with his fingers rubbing his temple “they would kill her or our guards to get to her”

“Let them try” Caius seethed as he rose from his throne “I’ll rip they’re heads off before they can find her”

“Believe me I want to help my girl too” aro confessed as he say down on his throne and thought of solutions

“Your girl? I believe that I have fostered the most parental relationship with the little dove” Caius says with his temper rising at his current situation

“Jealousy Caius” Marcus corrects as Caius lowers himself on his throne “we all hold a fondness for the girl, that is why she should be here with us”

“They are torturing her and I can do nothing” aro sighs out in despair “we must think of our plan, Marcus, what of your rogue?”

“He’s useful, powerful” Marcus admits in careful thought “not enough to take them all on alone but he could handle himself against the younger ones”

“That’s a good start” aro paces the room before stopping in front of them “get him to look at weak spots in the house and blind spots in the family”

“What about our army?” Caius questioned “how can they be of use without stealing our baby bat?”

“Have them attack and weaken any close by allies of the cullens” aro says seriously “that way if our girl is able to run away and get out of forks, she won’t be spotted and will be able to make her way to us”

“What are you thinking aro?” Marcus asked curiously

“It’s quite simple really” aro chuckles and gives his usual smirk “we have two options”

“Which are?” Caius says impatiently

“Well once our baby bat makes her way to us, she could swear loyalty and become part of our high guard” aro says dully, like this was the more unappealing option “this will of course be a viable option, but it puts her in danger of being hurt or killed”

“What is the second option?” Marcus asks, desperate for a better solution

“She could become mated to one of our high guard” aro says excitedly “if her mate is in the high guard it makes it plausible reason for us to keep her here, and it also means that she would be protected while we also use her powers safely”

“And who would we choose?” Marcus questions with an eyebrow raised

“Felix and Dimitri are off the table” aro says and Caius looks confused, aro sighs before explaining “neither of them have a previous connection with (y/n), nor do they hold the skills to be able to protect her from the cullens”

“So who else? Most of our guard are already mated” Caius says impatiently, itching to talk with you once again. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was anxious to see you again.

“Well that leaves Jane and Alec” Marcus answers “which should it be?”

“We will leave that up to our darling girl” aro answers with a smile “she has had no choices in her life so far, let us be the first to grant her one”

“Are we sure this plan will work?” Caius asks doubtfully

“If it does not, our girl will just join us as a guard” aro answers with a smirk “this plan will ensure that we will not be accused of cruelty and war will be avoided”

“Very clever” Marcus compliments “I’ve got to say aro, this plan is genius”

“I know” aro answers with a gleeful smirk.

———————————————————————

“Did you hear that sister?” Alec questions as the two sneak away from their hiding place that they had used since they were first turned, it was a prime spying spot “one of us will receive a mate”

“It seems so” Jane says with her face focused “I wonder which will be chosen?”

“Could you see yourself with her, for the rest of eternity?” Alec question with curiosity painted in his face

“I would choose her over anyone else to spend eternity with” Jane answers before turning to her brother “and you brother? Could you see yourself loving her for eternity?”

“I, very much could sister” Alec answers with a smirk “it seems we are in competition, dear sister”

“It is not a competition, we already know she likes me better than you” Jane answers with a small smirk

“As a friend” Alec corrects “I’m sure she sees me in a much less platonic way”

“I wouldn’t be too sure brother” Jane says as she begins to walk to her room “you don’t know what we were up too all those times at tea time, we were always alone after all… you weren’t permitted to be alone with her, but I was”

With those parting words, Jane entered her room and closed her door. This left Alec with many questions. Was she lying? What did the two of you do? Who would you like better?

A small smirk spread across Alec’s face as he thought of you being his mate.

Challenge accepted sister.

Now you’ve gotta guess which ones for reader because I’ve not even decided yet.

I will be making an oc for reader too so i don’t know if this is gonna end up poly or something, I’m just here for the ride.

Hope you enjoyed:)

Love ya ❤️

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Roadkill: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Summary: Someone is using their vehicle to run people over, but why? What compels someone to take another life?

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

Not even a day later, there is news of another murder. This time, the victim is a man. He was chased down in a parking garage and nearly got away when the unsub rammed his truck into an elevator, nearly cutting him in two. There are crime scenes--one on the second floor where the initial contact was made, and the one on the first floor where the unsub made contact with the victim.

"The impact nearly cut him in two. His name is Victor Costella, a podiatrist. He works in the building," Detective Quinn says.

"This is the first male victim. So much for the rape theory."

"He ran down from the level above to try to get away."

You're brought back to earlier in the day and see Victor run down from the car ramp to the first floor. The unsub is right behind him with an angry look on his face. You can't see the unsub at all but you can tell by the way it's speeding at Victor that he is angry. Victor thinks he's gonna make it to the elevator, but it closes right before he can get on. That's when the unsub rammed into him.

You rewind the events and follow Victor up the ramp to the second floor. Victor's car is all the way on the other side of the parking garage, so he's running backward the more you rewind. You rewind it as far as it can go and let it play normally. Victor leaves the building and heads to his car, not having seen the unsub in his truck. When he gets halfway to it, the unsub speeds forward to hit Victor but the victim jumps out of the way.

He rams into his personal car, and that's when Victor starts running away. He passes by you in a mist that brings you back to reality.

"Is this the victim's car?" Spencer asks.

"Yeah, why?"

"Uh, excuse me for a second." Spencer takes out his phone and calls Penelope as he walks away. "Garcia, I need you to look into something."

"This is a reserved spot. The unsub knew where he was gonna park and must have gotten here early and picked this spot right across. Somebody might have seen him waiting."

"Somebody did," an officer says. "I talked to an x-ray tech on the third floor. She noticed a truck when she arrived."

"Was he inside it?"

"Yeah, but she couldn't see him because of the tint."

"How did she know if he was inside, then?"

"She said the window was cracked. The occupant was smoking."

"I don't suppose your people found any cigarette butts, did they?" The officer shakes his head. "What time did the tech get in?"

"Ten in the morning."

"He waited for seven hours. A proper addict could go through a whole pack." Rossi walks over to the spot where the unsub was waiting and notices the cigarettes on the ground. It looks like the cigarettes were stripped down. "He field-stripped these."

"What is that?" Emily asks.

"It's something they teach soldiers to avoid leaving traces in the field. They squeeze out the filter then ball up the surrounding paper."

"Then our unsub could be ex-military."

"We can get DNA on this," the officer says. "If we're lucky, he'll be in the system."

"If he's military, why would he choose a truck as his weapon?"

This gets you thinking. Why would he use his truck as a weapon if he could use guns? He's been in the military, so he should be comfortable using one.

"Yeah, a truck is loud and draws attention. Plus, he risked rendering it inoperable. This doesn't make any sense."

"It does to him. He needs to kill this way. I just don't know why."

"Guys, I think I know what connects the victims," Spencer says. You head back to the police station so that everyone can hear what he has to say while local police stayed behind at the crime scene. "All of the victims drove red two-door coupes."

"Don't you think that could be a coincidence?" Quinn asks.

"It's statistically significant. We haven't been able to find any other common denominators but this. If the unsub is targeting people because of their cars, then his initial contact with them would have been on the road."

"What if he had to use his truck as a weapon?" you say. "Think about it. He's in the military and gets hurt. If he's disabled, then he has no other choice but to use his car. I don't know why he chose these people as his victims, but I think looking into injuries in the military is worth it."

"I agree," Hotch says. "It's worth looking into."

"I spoke to the families about the victims' daily car travel," JJ says. "There's one road all the victims have in common. Route 7."

"Of course," Quinn sighs.

"Does that mean something to you?"

"Maybe we should take a drive."

Quinn takes Hotch and Spencer to Route 7 on a hill that overlooks the road. There are a bunch of crosses on the other side of the road where people have lost their lives. It's such a dangerous stretch of roads that the locals call it "Suicide 7". The crosses represent the fatalities of the accidents that have happened there. The fire chief put them up to remind drivers to be careful.

There are two lanes with no dividers, so there are either a lot of head-on collisions or people get run off the road. Maybe the unsub didn't get injured in the military but got injured from an accident he was involved in on this road. If he felt someone was responsible for his injuries, that could be how he's choosing his victims. Using his truck gives the unsub power and control that he otherwise lacks in his everyday life.

The idea that he's avenging his own physical suffering speaks to a victim mentality that's inconsistent with the profile, so maybe it's not just about his own suffering. It's safe to say that you're comfortable with giving the profile out. While you're giving the profile out, JJ is talking to the press about the same thing.

"As we speak, this profile and a description of the unsub's truck are being released to state and national media," Hotch says. "In addition to what we already know, we believe the unsub is ex-military, most likely Army or Marines. We also believe he's physically handicapped."

"From combat?" an officer asks.

"No, from an automobile accident. This accident may have occurred along Route 7 where the unsub finds his victims."

"Does that have something to do with why he's going after red coupes?"

"We believe that he holds the driver of a comparable vehicle responsible for his accident, and this person is the object of his rage. Since he can't confront them, he's taking revenge against a surrogate."

Emily walks in with two boxes in her hands followed by Derek with two more boxes.

"These boxes contain accident reports from a strip of Route 7 between Bend and Eugene. There's about five years' worth. We're gonna need everyone you can spare to comb through them."

"We've also compiled a list of local rehabilitation facilities where the unsub may have gone to recover. Use the profile as you canvass these places. Remember, we're looking for a white male in his early forties that is former military who may have sustained severe injury in a car accident. Though only owners of red coupes have been targeted at this point, we're asking all drivers to be vigilant on the road. Thank you.

Rossi, Quinn, half the BAU team, and some officers go out to canvass the area and the local rehab centers in hopes one of them knows who your unsub is. You grab some files from one of the boxes when JJ walks in with a man.

"Just wait right here," she says to him, and she approaches Hotch. "Hotch, we just got a walk-in. His name is Gil Bonner. It's about the unsub's accident. He says it's his fault."

"Sir, why do you think this accident is your fault?"

"It was late, and I'd spent all day in Eugene with my mom. She'd been sick. I shouldn't have been driving, but I just wanted to get home to see my little girl. It was darker than usual. I remember the moon was just a sliver. Right outside the cascades, my phone started vibrating so when I went to reach for it, I knocked it off the far side of the seat. It fell down by the door and I thought I could reach it. I took my eyes off the road but it couldn't have been for more than a few seconds. When I looked back up, there were lights and this horn was blaring. I swerved at the last second and kept on going without a scratch."

"You'd gone into the oncoming lane? What happened to the other vehicle?"

"That's the thing. It was in the rearview mirror and then it was gone. It vanished."

"Why didn't you stop?"

"It didn't seem real."

"Wait, you're saying you just pretended it didn't happen?" you ask.

"I guess if you tell yourself something for long enough, you can make anything true."

"Well, you're here now. Tell us about the other vehicle."

"It's definitely the truck you're looking for. When I saw the news, it all made sense. It's come back for revenge."

"When did the accident occur?"

"December of 2007, the second Saturday."

"There are no accidents reported in December of 2007," Spencer says, confused.

"No, I'm sure there was."

"Maybe you have your dates wrong?"

"I guess it could have been November."

"Uh, memories are like puzzle pieces, and it's entirely possible that in suppressing these for so long, you've sort of rearranged things. How long was your mother sick for?"

"Five months. She died in January, that much I know."

Gil wasn't able to get much on the unsub, but Derek and Emily did. What you know about the unsub is that he's ex-military that's good with his hands when it comes to cars. Even with that generic description, you're still going through five years with of patients with the same conditions. If you can narrow it down to a five-month window between September 2007 and January 2008, that would help a lot.

Some of the doctors refused to believe that a person who is paraplegic isn't capable of murder, but they have special rigging equipment that can help them drive. There is one person who went to therapy that made a lot of progress physically but wasn't advancing as well mentally. His name is Ian Coakley, and the doctors he worked with were baffled that he was making physical progress but none mentally.

The doctors have patients write and draw daily to help strengthen their hands, and when Ian was tasked to do this, he would draw trucks with spikes and other weapons coming out of them. Anger is part of healing, but the things Ian did is over the top. It's his murder fantasy that he's now making a reality.

The unsub is having a hard time trying to piece together what exactly happened, which is why his victims and their cars keep changing. His mind is trying to find out the truth about what happened. When it changes, so do his victims. When Derek and Emily got the date of his accident, they immediately send it back over to the office so you can go over what happened.

"September 28, 2007, Ian and Sheila Coakley crashed while driving home from Napa Valley going Eastbound on Route 7 around midnight. It appeared their car was run off the road and flipped numerous times with no witnesses. His wife was riding in the passenger seat. She died at the scene," Spencer reads.

"Coakley survived. Paramedics indicated spinal cord injury. Morgan said he fractured his T6 and T7 vertebrae. He's paraplegic."

"That's not all. He's a former light-wheel mechanic in the Army National Guard," you add.

"Does it say anything about a red car?"

"No. It says Coakley suffered memory loss after the accident. Short-term retrograde amnesia is common after a serious accident."

"I think it's safe to say he remembers now," Rossi scoffs.

"Do we have an address?"

"Garcia is working on it now."

Hotch calls Penelope but before he can talk, she does.

"Okay, the house Coakley and his wife bought was foreclosed on ten months after his accident. There's a paper trail that leads to a land called Nowhere. He cashed some insurance checks during a stay at Edelman House, but after he left, zilch."

"Are there any relatives he could be staying with?"

"No. I tried that. There's no family in the area. My exquisitely educated guess is he's either squatting or subletting with cash."

"What about his truck?"

"He owns a '79 Dodge D100. He bought it used ten years ago."

"He's had to rebuild it several times now. Those parts can't be easy to find for a truck that old."

"I smell what you're cooking, Agent," Penelope chuckles at Rossi. "I'll check auto suppliers in Bend." She pauses while she types. "Yeah, Rossi gets a fruit cup with lunch. He's having the parts drop-shipped through Syd's Auto Shop and sent directly to an address in Southwest Bend."

Your team heads over to Ian's house when Penelope sends over the address for Ian. He's not home, obviously, but this trip isn't a total waste. You don't have to step foot into the house to know if you go in there, you're going to throw up. Ian smokes so much that his entire house reeks of cigarette smoke. You don't care what job you're doing, you're not going in there.

That's fucking disgusting.

"Get all your vehicles off this street and set up a perimeter," Rossi says to Quinn. "If Coakley returns, we want to be ready for him."

"Got it."

"Rossi, Y/N, you'll want to see this," Derek calls from the garage. Thank God the garage door is open to air out the smell of cigarettes, but you don't need to go inside to see what's in there. A ton of grilles are on the ground... grilles that Ian has replaced. "Look at the grilles. They still got blood on them."

"He's been switching plates, too." There are different types of plates on his workbench. "We should revise the BOLO."

"Rossi, look at this," Derek says. He finds some pictures of all the victims in a nearby box. "This is stalk central. He has pictures of everyone."

"Who's this guy?" you ask and point to the last one. "Do you think it's possible there are other victims we don't know about?"

"I don't think so. Garcia would have found them."

"Then I think we've found his next target." Derek quickly calls Penelope. "Hey, baby girl. I need you to run a plate fast."

Half of the team went to talk to the wife of the next victim, James Burke. His wife was home but he wasn't. According to her, he goes on a bike ride with a club of people around town. Whenever he's on his rides, he doesn't take his phone with him so there is no way to call him and warn him.

He has a regular route on the Prineville Reservoir Loop which is a fifty-mile roundtrip from their house. Ian is going after him next and it's your job to find James before Ian does. You're in the same car as Rossi and Derek while Hotch is in the same car as Quinn. You call Hotch and connect him over Bluetooth so everyone can talk to each other.

"Hotch, we're on Route 26 heading toward the Reservoir. I think we're about halfway around the loop. So far no sign of him," Rossi says.

"Copy that. We're heading southbound on 20. Hopefully, we can hit Route 26 before they fly by us."

Emily, Spencer, and JJ are back at the station doing more research on Ian and his accident when Emily noticed something strange about the case. Ian got injured to the point where his memories started changing the more he thought of different theories as to what happened. Ian was driving his wife's car the night of the accident, and it was a red Coupe.

The only explanation for that is there was no other car on the road that night. The make and model of the car keep changing in Ian's mind like he knows they aren't right. His doctor at the rehab facility called it fluid memory since it's always changing, but what if it was more than that? If that accident was a single-car accident, then it's Ian's fault he ran off the road. He was driving back from Napa Valley which is a long drive in of itself. He must have fallen asleep at the wheel and driven off the cliff.

The thought that he'd be responsible for his wife's death was too much to bear so he projected the blame onto someone else. He blamed someone who was driving a red Coupe not knowing that it was him who was driving it.

"Gil wasn't responsible for the accident, Ian was. He just refuses to believe it," you say.

There are two cars chasing Ian who is chasing James around like a maniac. Ian sees the group of bikers that James is part of and lurches forward at top speed but Hotch is quicker than him. Hotch intercepts Ian and runs his car right into the driver-side door, causing a side-impact collision. The hood of Hotch's car is up and the engine is smoking but both occupants are alright.

Ian tries to back out and go after his target again, but the Detective gets out and aims his gun at Ian. Ian isn't the kind of unsub that will be stopped by talking to him. He's either going to get cornered and get arrested or he's going to kill himself.

He chooses the latter when he realizes it's his fault he killed his wife.

You come around the corner and see Hotch's accident, but he orders you to follow after Ian. Derek peels away from the scene and speeds off after the black truck, though, he never gets close enough to hit him. The mountains have curvy roads and steep inclines, and you're getting a bit car sick from all this, you have to admit.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," you groan and take deep breaths.

"Sorry, mama," Derek sighs.

Ian inches up the hill toward a spot where there are no other roads. It's a lookout spot for people to park and enjoy the view. However, Ian isn't planning on stopping. He presses the gas more the closer he gets to the edge of the cliff.

"No, don't do it, man."

Ian's car drives off the cliff at full speed, and you gasp in horror.

"Derek, stop!!" Derek comes to a screeching halt right before you can suffer the same fate. "Yeah, I'm gonna be sick."

Car chases and fast driving aside, you're glad this case is over. You get to spend the weekend with your boyfriend in a hotel room away from all this. You and Spencer can't be more excited which is why you two are packing up as quickly as you can.

"Alright, we are going away for the whole weekend. If you call, we will not answer," you joke. Of course, if it's an emergency, you'll come in but everyone knows not to bother you two. "Are you ready to go?"

"Lead the way," Spencer grins and grabs your hand.

"The human voice can never reach the distance that is covered by the still small voice of conscience." - Mahatma Gandhi

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[archivalofsins]

So-

Happy belated birthday to Kotoko Yuzuriha.

She had a very interesting one, right? So, here are my thoughts on her interaction-

Contents warnings for discussions about domestic violence and suicide beneath the cut.

I was talking about how I felt in private about the timeline interaction since yesterday. I didn't really want to give a kneejerk reaction. However, it really sucks to be Mahiru. Everyone is rightfully concerned about Haruka due to his threats to harm himself. However, I have one question in regard to that-

Why would he need to discuss his plan with Kotoko at any point in that process?

In the discussion I had the only valid reason given was to avoid having his death look like anything other than a suicide. However, this is pretty easy to contradict. In the first Milgram novel we read the equivalent of someone committing suicide by cop in a hospital room. Now the novels are not a playbook for how the web series is going to go.

However, both books are an indicator that the staff is well aware of every method one could conceivably commit suicide. Both books cover the concept of self-harm in depth for various reasons. Haruka is not asking Kotoko to assist him in any way in fact it's quite the opposite. He is asking for her to not intervene with what he is going to do.

Now to be frank we all already know how Kotoko feels about the other prisoners. Especially given her second trial CD that came out. However, she's consistently been shown to have a soft spot and respect for Haruka. For reasons that have yet to be illustrated to us.

21/12/15  (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Haruka: Ah…… H-happy birthday, Kotoko-san.

Kotoko: ……thanks. You’ve definitely changed a bit. Do you remember before? You could barely even talk to me. Haruka: I-is that so? Now that you mention it, I, I maybe have got a bit better since then. ……m-maybe I’ve got more used to being around people. There’s other people here who are interested in me, and, um, in particular Mu-san pays a lot of notice to me…… I… I’m enjoying myself here…… Kotoko: ……hmm. It’s just a theory I have right now, but I get the feeling the outcome of Milgram’s judgements are having some influence on our mental state. Well, I only noticed because I happened to be last up though. Good for you, then. This must mean that you’re fine. ……I’ll accept those birthday wishes.

Even going as far to extrapolate on her own observations about Milgram without any actual prodding from him. Something she did not do with the first individual she discussed this situation with.

21/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Shidou: ……oh, Yuzuriha-kun. It’s unusual so see you around this early. Wishing me a happy birthday…… probably isn’t the what you’re here for, huh.

Kotoko: No, it is. Happy birthday, Shidou. Though it’s not like I bought you a present or anything. But while I’m here, I’d also like to ask you something. Has anything changed for you recently? Having nightmares, hearing voices, feeling anxious…… anything like that. Shidou: Not especially, no. ……ah, so this is about how Kajiyama-kun and Shiina-kun have been strange recently? And she’s been trying to hide it, but Amane too…… We’ve been living in these conditions for a while…… it’s not unusual for there to be an impact on us mentally. Are you worried about them? You’re a very caring person. Kotoko: Hmm, so you noticed? If nothing’s wrong with you, then that’s good. ……if I’ve understood properly, that means you’re safe…. Once again, happy birthday, Kirisaki Shidou.

Despite her conversation with Shidou tentatively confirming her suspicions about Milgram. She decides to not disclose her observations as she willingly chooses to do with Haruka despite his unclear interest in the topic. I don't know if she's behaving this way towards him because she has a soft spot for him or due to her not taking him seriously as a threat.

Add to this Haruka's behavior and statements prior to Kotoko's attacks and well that's when things get interesting-

22/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Mu: What’s wrong, Haruka-kun? Did something happen? You shouldn’t look away like that when you’re together with me. Haruka: Ah, s-sorry, Mu-san. Um…… No, it’s nothing. I just, suddenly got a feeling. That something is about to happen. Mu: Isn’t that because it’s your birthday? Or perhaps it’s a sign the guard is about to wake up again soon? Fufufu, I bet they’ll be really surprised at a lot of things. Haruka: That, might be true. But, I want the- The guard to see. ……the new, me…….

Then directly after this the attacks happen. That's some convenient timing. Except it's not really, is it?

The entire prison is a panopticon, the cells and rooms go in a full circle. So, much so that in Es' voice drama the cells are referred to as times on a clock. From one to midnight. In that sort of set up and being as out in the open all the time as Mu and Haruka are stated to have been by multiple prisoners.

Well, it's not out of bounds to believe he saw Kotoko preparing and said nothing about it. It's a good reason for her to be so accommodating when it comes to being asked to look the other way herself now. We know from her voice drama what cooperation is to her. It's being able to do the things the other can't. So, the fact that she's agreeing to cooperate at all in any capacity means there is something she can get out of it by cooperating.

Which already shoots the idea of this being a suicide out of the water because if it was that- Would such an idea really illicit this response from Kotoko?

Kotoko Birthday TL Translation (12/15/2023)

Haruka: ...Please, be quiet about this. And you, please don't get involved. All I can do is ask this of you... Kotoko: Fufufu, fufufufufu. You're thinking some outrageous things. To be frank, it's abnormal. But I don't dislike it. If only all sinners were like you. Haruka: No... That's not it... I don't mean it that way... This isn't for me... it's to protect... so, Kotoko-san... please... Kotoko: Eh? Yes, yes. Well, I promise not to interfere with your plans. Even though I'd like to do it myself, I'll leave it to you. What happens after that... depends on Es, doesn't it?

To be frank like Kotoko, I don't believe she would give one's rat's ass about what Haruka does to himself and neither would Milgram. It's been illustrated (again in the novels) that the prisoners can self-harm within the facility. Also, that they can partake in self-harming behavior during the trial.

Again, the novel isn't a playbook for how the web series goes but Jackalope plainly states to Es and the audience the only restriction during the trials is the prisoners cannot fight each other. Never adding on any other restrictions to this.

We also see the characters partaking in harmful behavior towards themselves over the course of the trial be it mentally or physically. Like Milgram wasn't stopping Haruka from holing himself up in his room and not eating. The only person who intervened with that was Mu. So, honestly if he was worried about Kotoko interrupting his attempt he has the perfect time to do it right now as she cannot attack him as the trials are still going on and he is free to do whatever he wants to himself.

I'm not trying to be crass or dismissive of his threats of self-harm. Suicide ideation is a real issue and can cause great harm to an individual. However, there's a difference between threatening to harm yourself in order to protect another person/get something and actually facing this very serious and severe mental health issue.

What Haruka did is a manipulative tactic that people in all sorts of relationships use to get what they want. Validating that with his desired response would have been morally incorrect in my opinion.

This behavior is incredibly bad and emotionally manipulative full stop regardless of how much I like Haruka as a character. Takeaway here is never let someone else purposely leverage their physical wellbeing against you to get their way. Yes, you feel like the bad guy if they do it, but you aren't obligated to do things you don't want to or are uncomfortable with to avoid a threat, they put on themselves.

That's not how that works. That's just manipulation. Doing what Haruka did in this trial is a form of domestic violence. Here's some sources on the behavior-

What to Do If an Abuser Threatens Suicide

When Your Partner Threatens Suicide

How to Deal with Coercive Suicide Threats

As someone who has personally struggled with suicide ideation and depression. As well as someone who has had the above done to them several times by multiple parties it feels incredibly disrespectful and gross to have this sort of manipulation legitimized in any way. However, it makes sense that it's being legitimized. Because that's the point of making coercive threats like these.

The point is expecting the other person to be better than you so much so that'd they'd want to do anything to avoid having another person be hurt or die. The point is going prove you care more about me than your personal beliefs, security, emotion and physical health. Then if you say no I'm not doing that you're the bad guy, you're the uncaring heartless piece of shit that'd rather hurt two people by voting one guilty at the expressed expense of another's life then just forgive another person.

I forgave Haruka because I understand how he got here and empathize with that. However, that does not change the fact that what he did is textbook domestic violence and manipulation tactics. And it's so fucked up that people are still going if he does anything it's our faults when no it's his fucking choice nobody forced him to make that threat. That is a reflection of his character.

Furthermore, as shown through this if he wanted to, he could have by now. No one can stop him during the course of the trial. If he was worried about it not looking like a suicide because Kotoko attacks him well, she fucking can't right now. This is actually the best time to do that not during the intermission where the chances of it appearing ambiguous are highest.

Sooo what does this timeline mean?

Well...

It means exactly what it meant the last time he pulled a I think something is going to happen right before someone else's birthday.

22/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)

Kazui: What’s up, Shidou-kun? You’re looking pretty down. I guess you must be tired, I’ve been relying on you a lot lately. Shidou: Yeah, I just remembered…… today is Amane’s birthday. I’m just getting a bit sentimental. Kazui: Hmm, it’s unfortunate, but at the moment we can’t worry about that. ……you understand, right? There’s something that you need to do right now. And if you tried talking to her your words definitely won’t reach her. Don’t look at me like that. We’ll just wait until the situation changes. Let’s do our best. Shidou: Yeah. I’ll do what I can. I can’t have a child making a face like that. Even though we’re “murderers”…… we’re also the adults here.

Everyone is here rightfully worried about Haruka. It's human instinct to just jump to tunnel vision onto the easiest threat to perceive. However, the audience only perceived this threat because he made it. He continued to make it during all of trial two. That doesn't mean he has the intent to follow through and it's a disservice to people who have actually been manipulated in this fashion and those who actually struggle with suicidal throughts to have their experiences and struggles compared to someone acting in such an overtly manipulative way.

Especially someone who very clearly stated these things for all to see-

The fact that he talked to Kotoko and asked her not to interfere with what he was going to do only cements that for me. Because the only thing that Kotoko cares about that she would interfer with or come into conflict with someone about are people interfering with her self-given job of prison deputy.

Meaning if someone were to do what she considers to be her job or intervenes with it they will immediately come into conflict with her. Regardless of whether they are Innocent or Guilty. She is then going to have an issue with that person even if it does not escalate to violence.

Something shown here-

22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time. Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you. Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets. Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly……

Attacking the prisoners she's meant to be in charge of while Es is asleep would technically be stepping into her territory or trying to take her postion. Something that would immediately have her and whoever tries it come to blows regardless of verdict. So, him talking to her at all about not interfering with whatever he has planned is already incredibly suspicious and makes me severely doubt it has anything to do with harming himself or harming himself only.

Ultimately this timeline could mean a lot of things and only highlighting a threat Haruka put on himself is exactly why he put that threat there to begin with. It's difficult to think of him hurting someone else when he's already very vocally committed to harming himself if a certain outcome was not given to him.

Yet instead of highlighting the audience not taking that threat seriously in a told you so way now. It's important to recognize the fact that the threat existed and was one he made at all speaks volumes about the sort of character he is. regardless of if you like him or not. It's important to recognize that people who do this to get their way are emotionally neglectful and harmful to those around them and such behavior should not be incentivized/rewarded ever.

Either way whatever Haruka has planned is going to be interesting and may not be happening on Mahiru's birthday since trial two won't have closed by then and if he is planning to attack another prisoner, he cannot do it before the end of the trial. Which is why he's planning ahead by discussing things with Kotoko so far in advance.

However, that's just my interpretation of everything that has occurred so far. I could be wrong, and it could just be about him doing that. Still doesn't change the fact this is a very awkward timeline interaction to come up right before Mahiru's (a person who has only gotten sicker and sicker over the course of trial two) birthday.

So, here's hoping Mahiru has a decent birthday next year.

[highladyluck]

AU thought: Nynaeve is born in Seanchan and raised from childhood as a damane

Immediate first thought (besides ‘why did you choose violence’) is that she’d probably be the best, still. She’s making it onto Tuon’s entourage. I am in pain thinking about it.

This is my AU, so I’m going to solve a personal mystery and say that her dad is Ajimbura & she’s from the Kaensada Hills. Let’s say her mom still died early from illness & dad still taught her how to hunt & track before she was tested. In fact, Ajimbura treated Nyneave as his son because he had seen her channeling at an unusually early age & was hoping declaring her his son could protect her from being made damane.

The Kaensada Hills are rural and unassimilated enough that this was not quite as useless an idea as it might seem, and let’s say they also had very functional ideas of gender roles- if someone does Man Things, they are A Man for all intents and purposes, or vice versa.

Spoiler: It doesn’t work, the sul’dam do eventually get around to testing even there and if there’s a saidar channeler, they’re gonna grab her. Nyneave becomes damane around 13. She still has that Talent for Healing, but because most Seanchan don’t want a damane working on them in that way, she’s only allowed to practice on other damane. It’s a Talent and not something that can be taught very well, which also dampens people’s enthusiasm about it since it’s not super replicable.

She’s still ridiculously powerful even with this somewhat problematic skill, though, and so she sees a lot of use in combat situations. Nyneave comes to Tuon’s attention when Nyneave’s sul’dam makes a judgement call & lets her bring one of Tuon’s favorite damane back from the brink of death after a combat injury. Tuon’s like ‘mine now’ and Nyneave joins the favorites squad.

Nyneave’s been with Tuon for ~6 years by the WH timeline. Once Ajimbura finds out where she is (since she’s higher-profile now that she’s with Tuon), he’s like ‘I must kill the Daughter of the Nine Moons’s father to avenge the loss of my son’ but her father is dead already (of ‘a bad wager’ in this timeline too) so he decides that as male captain of her bodyguard, Furyk Karede stands in loco parentis to Tuon, and therefore he must be killed.

After 3 failed revenge murder attempts, by the custom of his people, the debt rebounds upon Ajimbura and now he must become like Furyk Karede’s son and follow his trade.

This is the mechanism that Ajimbura’s people, distant descendants of the AoL Aiel, devised to stop blood feuds. If you try to revenge murder the same person three times & you can’t hack it, you have to join your enemy’s family instead and act in their interests. Most people don’t want to take that risk, or pick easier-to-kill enemies, so there’s a lot of trophy-hunting instead, kind of like how the Aiel have implemented complex prisoner of war rules so less people die.

So that’s why Ajimbura is Karede’s unhinged manservant in THIS universe. Still wish I knew why he’s there in canon!

Because I do not want Nyneave to suffer unduly, let’s say she comes with Tuon instead of Mylen (whose battlefield-medicine-descended-Healing is less impressive when compared to Nyneave’s Talent). Nyneave also represents Seanchan supremacy in a homegrown ‘we’re better than you’ way rather than a ‘we’ll brainwash you all’ way. Slightly different message, similar outcome.

She gets captured by our heroes at some point & basically has some of Alivia’s arc after that, but because she worked with Tuon and has insider info on her, she’s got more to do in Rand’s inner circle than just make people uncomfortable & lay out his outfit for the rest of his life. Actually, you know what, let’s full-circle this, the former Wisdom of Emond’s Field is Alivia Al’Meara & she’s the one who makes the call to uncollar Nyneave when she asks for it.

Also, Nyneave becomes friends with Aviendha because Avi meets her once and is like ‘forgive me but you’re the spitting image of my second-sister’s first-daughter’ (or whatever) and then they figure out that the Kaensada Hills tribes are also descended from AoL Aiel, and this connection becomes very important later on when the Kaensada Hills tribes strike out for independence in the aftermath of the entire Imperial family being murdered & the civil wars in mainland Seanchan.

[southfarthing]

Fingon headcanons/thoughts that I need to wring out of my brain:

He has a youthful appearance and mannerisms, and he is often reckless. (Even before Turgon starts his own family, people always think he is the eldest.) Fingon is sometimes self-conscious about this – though Argon, the youngest, admires and adores him, Turgon and Aredhel stop looking up to him and asking him for advice as soon as they mature, and Fingon wonders what they think of him now – and he feels he has a lot to learn from Maedhros on how to be a good heir and older brother.

In Aman, he is perceived as gentle and warm. (Though this is perhaps because there hasn't yet been cause for Fingon to become passionate or fierce.) Not a threat, and this is why Fëanor doesn't mind his friendship with Maedhros – if anything, it is beneficial to Fëanor because it feels more as though Maedhros has Fingon under his influence than the other way round; and it is strangely satisfying thinking that he is inadvertently taking something of Fingolfin's away from him.

Fingon dotes on Argon, and later also on Idril. Argon is the first to thread gold into his hair, and he does this because little Idril asks one day why she has golden hair but some of her family has black hair instead. Argon likes the way it looks, and he decides to keep it. After he dies, Fingon begins to thread his own hair with gold to keep Argon's legacy alive. (Idril quietly helps him, the first few times, and Fingon wonders if she is thinking of her uncle or of her mother, or perhaps both.)

Things are tense during Morgoth's whispers, but Fingon has his first real fallout with Maedhros after Fëanor threatens Fingolfin with his sword; and when Fëanor is exiled to Formenos, and his sons and Finwë follow, Fingon doesn't see Maedhros for years – or his grandfather, who willingly chooses exile with Fëanor, the one at fault, over Fingolfin, the one who deserves loyalty and comfort. It stings, but Fingon looks at his father, who has always handled family grievances with grace and composure, no matter how hard his hands shake beneath the table, and Fingon knows that this is how he must also be. He must be the son his father needs.

The Darkening is the first time he feels fear. The Trees, Finwë's death, Fëanor's oath – they all happen so quickly, and Fingon, though he has little love for Fëanor, is shaken, and is susceptible to Fëanor's words about Middle Earth. When he sees the violence at Alqualondë, he rushes to the Noldor's aid.

The guilt of the kinslaying never leaves him. Worse is that Argon blindly follows him into the bloodshed; Argon bloodies his hands because of Fingon's recklessness and poor judgement, and dies early – a hero's death, despite the sins. Fingon bitterly laments that Argon is the one to die, when he was so young and full of life, while he remains. But then he grows to understand that death was an escape, and he himself must live through the guilt of his own actions and the horrors of Morgoth choking the land. He craves forgiveness and forgetfulness for himself, and this is why he so readily forgives the Fëanorians.

His relationship with Turgon is never the same. Turgon never wanted to leave Aman, and now Elenwë is dead, and he is trapped in this forsaken land, while Fingon slew kin at Alqualondë and risked his own life for those who abandoned him. Turgon is the heir Fingolfin deserves – Fingon knows this, though he never lets himself grow bitter over it. Still, he feels the hurt deeply when Turgon leaves and takes Idril and Aredhel with him; and later, when he waits anxiously for news of Fingolfin, and learns many months later that he was killed and his body taken to Turgon, wherever he is, and not brought to Hithlum – to Fingon.

He is lonely, and he has never done well with being alone. He misses Angrod and Aegnor deeply, and Finrod and Maedhros and Galadriel are so far away, and Turgon and Aredhel have left him. The rule of the Noldor was never meant to be his. He spends more time with Lalwen and Húrin and Huor, and he surrounds himself with other people, not wanting to allow silence and darkness to get a hold of his mind.

He doesn't know if they have any chance of succeeding against Morgoth, but Maedhros seems so sure, so refreshingly hopeful for the first time in years, despite everything, and Fingon hasn't the heart to say no. The plan is sound, and their forces strong, and Maedhros is right – the longer they wait, the weaker they will be. Fingon doesn't want a slow demise, dwindling in strength and valour until he dies pitifully and alone, with nobody left to care. He envies Argon, and Fingolfin, and Finrod: they died fiercely, in defense of their people. Fingon wants the same, if he cannot have victory.

He is wary with his own hopes: he does not want more disappointment. He smiles and puts on airs of confidence, and his people believe him. He lets Maedhros take charge, and once more, he admires Maedhros's ability to lead and to bring people together. It does not make him doubt his own abilities anymore: he is past such internal thoughts. He focused purely on survival, working tirelessly to make this work, and Maedhros's words, while they haven't instilled him with the same sort of reckless hope, they have given him purpose.

The day of the battle arrives, and he finally lets himself think, in the anxious stillness of dawn. He thinks of Aman, and of his mother; he thinks of his father and his siblings; of Fëanor and everything that has happened since they arrived in Middle Earth. He thinks of the soldiers below who will die in the coming days. No. He shakes his head. There is valour to be gained yet, and great deeds, and deep hurts to the enemy in revenge for everything they have suffered at his hand. Fingon feels a strange sort of peace – a light wind blows past him, and he lets out the breath he has been holding. In the distance, he hears trumpets, and he turns to look at his men in question. But then the trumpet blows again, and Fingon recognises the sound.

[runningfrom2am]

the sea around us; chapter nineteen

In which Rafe Cameron has to choose between his dad and a pogue who's changing his outlook on life more and more every day.

(rafe cameron x f!oc)

(eventual!jj maybank x f!oc)

warnings/tags: violence, drug/alcohol use, smoking, sexual content (if you squint), slowburn, older brother’s best friend, (these tags are obv not exhaustive but regardless it’s pretty PG13)

wc: 3k

my masterlist

series masterlist

TW; violence

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

"Hey, Snowy." There's a light knock on John B's bedroom door, where I'm laying in his bed having a nap and trying to forget about what happened earlier.

"Hey." I smile at Sarah as I sit up. "What's up?"

"So... since we're not going to go back for the gold for a couple of days and there's not much happening.." She grins, coming and sitting next to me, "I caught wind of this kook party happening tonight- would you care to join me? I don't think the others would want to go. Or want us to go, honestly."

I think about this for a minute. I'm not sure if the two of us are yet in big trouble with Rafe, or if he doesn't know yet, but I suppose there's only one way to find out, and maybe he won't even be there. So why not? "Yeah, yeah sounds like fun." I agree.

"Okay." She whispers now. "We'll tell them we're going back to Tannyhill to sleep, we'll sneak in and get changed, and we'll leave your car there and we'll walk over to the party because it's not far."

I laugh softly. "Yeah- Let's do it."

The time comes for Sarah and I to head out to "go home", eat dinner and then go to bed early, and we wave our goodbyes and get into my car. Luckily for us, no one is home so we get changed and eat, before heading out, walking towards where Sarah said the party is.

We arrive, and as expected, there are tons of people around. I stop on the lawn to pull out my first drink- since it already seemed overwhelming. "Getting started?" Sarah laughed, as I hand her a can.

"You bet." I smile, cracking it open and throwing my bag over my shoulder before we head for the door- I'm guessing Sarah wants to find her friends. We wander around a little, and I scan the crowd for familiar faces- particularly Kegs or Rafe, but they're nowhere to be seen. However, we do find Topper.

"Shit- shit, shit.." Sarah whispers, turning quickly to face me. "Tell me if Topper is coming." She says, and I take a sip of my drink as I watch him over her shoulder. He's standing in the kitchen, and he quickly sees me and waves, starting to walk over.

"Snowy!" He smiles.

"Yeah, he's coming," I whisper to Sarah and she gives me a look.

"Yeah, I figured, thank you." She says, plastering a smile on her face and turning to face him as he walks up.

"Hi Top." She says, lifting her drink to her lips.

"Sarah." He acknowledges her, still clearly bitter about their very recent breakup.

"So, you and Rafe, huh?" He asks me, making conversation. "Heard you're official now."

Sarah chokes on her drink at this, turning herself away to cough it out.

"Uh.." I chuckle. "Yeah, that's the new development." We both watch Sarah as she recovers.

"Sorry- uh, I didn't know that." She explains, standing up straight again. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," I laugh. "No, yeah I haven't told anyone. I'm giving him a grace period to change his mind." I joke.

"I doubt he'll do that. Rafe doesn't ever do relationships to begin with, you must be pretty special to him." Topper says, ignoring Sarah. "He's here, I think. I saw him and Kegs a little while ago..." He adds, looking around. "I'm gonna go find them. Nice to see you." Topper says, giving us a wave and walking off.

"You got Rafe to make it official? That's an achievement." Sarah laughs as he walks away.

"I guess so." I laugh with her, looking around. "What are you gonna do without John B here?" I joke, nudging her.

"I don't know, honestly. Shotgun with you, maybe talk to some of my friends but I don't think they want much to do with me these days.." Sarah says and I shake my head.

"If they'll drop you that fast because of who you're dating, they're not friends." I shrug.

"True, good point." Sarah agrees, toasting it and knocking her drink to mine before taking it a drink.

"So, uh, should we be trying to avoid Rafe tonight?" She asks.

"Possibly, yeah." I laugh. "He hasn't talked to me, so he's probably not our biggest fan right at this second."

"He'll have to forgive us- honestly we didn't actually do anything, we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not our fault we got robbed at gunpoint." She shrugs, and we laugh together. "He won't listen to me, but he'll listen to you."

"We'll just cross that bridge when we get to it," I say, shrugging it off.

"Hey! Ladies!" We hear someone shouting from the kitchen. We look over and see a boy about our age pointing at us. "Shot for shot?" He asks, Sarah and I look at each other and share a look that said on both sides 'should we?' which quickly transitions to a look of 'why not?'. We laugh at ourselves and look back at him.

"Sure! Pour us out." Sarah says as we both walk over to him.

"Hell yeah." He grins, pouring all of us our shots. "What're your names?"

"I'm Sarah, this is Snowy." Sarah introduces us. I can tell this guy is already drunk when he laughs obnoxiously at that.

"Damn- Snowy? That's one hell of a name. How much coke did you do to earn that one?" I roll my eyes at this. I've only heard that a million times.

"None, believe it or not," I say, picking up a shot glass.

"Well, nice to meet you Snowy and Sarah. I'm Ethan."

"Nice to meet you." Sarah agrees, holding up her glass. We clink them together, then the counter before downing them.

About five shots in and half an hour down, I'm already feeling like I'll fall if I try and walk anywhere. By this point, the three of us are sitting on the kitchen floor in a small circle, not really minding the number of people having to walk around and over us.

I decide I have to bite the bullet and get up to go use the bathroom anyways, so I slowly get up.

"Woah- careful there, sunshine.." Ethan laughs, helping me up as I was holding onto the counter for dear life, and the world begins to quickly spin around me as I stand up. Sarah giggles at me, giving me a thumbs up when I finally steady myself. "Bathrooms down the hall- want me to walk you?" Ethan offers and I shake my head.

"I'm good, I've got this." I laugh, running my hand along the wall as I walk to the bathroom. I have been really drunk before, but this time is different. I don't drink hard liquor all that often so that is likely the culprit here, but man, is the world spinning around me. The walls look like they're moving, and I can see myself walking but I don't feel like I'm moving at all. I'm making my way back to the kitchen after finding the bathroom when suddenly, I'm stopped when someone grabs me by my shoulders.

"Snowy? Holy shit..." They sigh, and I look up and see it's my brother. "What did you take?" He asks me.

"Kegs, hi." I smile, leaning into his arms now to give him a hug. I feel him hug me back, and I promptly get dizzy again. "I missed you. Did you know I love you so much? Because I do.." I ramble, but I'm pretty sure it's not audible since I'm talking into his shirt.

"Yeah, I love you too." He replies. "Where are you going? Where's Sarah?" Kegs asks, looking down at me now.

"I... Oh yeah, I'm going to the bathroom, no! No, I went to the bathroom, and now I'm going back to Sarah and Ethan in the kitchen. I think." I giggle. "I can hardly see anything this is craaazzyyyy..." I laugh, trying to focus my eyes on his face.

"Rafe?" I hear him shout over his shoulder loud enough to be heard over the music.

I gasp. "Rafe is here?" I grin. "I missed him too!"

"Rafe, man, here take her," Kegs says, as Rafe walks up behind him.

"What the fuck?" He asks my brother as I let go of Kegs and reach out for him.

"Hi..." I giggle and he grabs me, wrapping his arms around me and widening his stance to steady me but he doesn't draw his attention away from my brother.

"Hi Snowy.." Rafe smiles, giving me a quick kiss on the top of my head.

"Bro, what happened to her?" I hear him ask my brother.

"I don't know, but she said she was with your sister and some dude named Ethan, I think."

"Oh yeah! Yeah, so..." I start to explain, looking up at my boyfriend. Wow. My boyfriend. That's crazy. I find myself giggling as I look up at him, completely distracted. "Oh! Yeah, I was saying that, uhm... We were playing shot for shot, all three of us? And I think I'm losing because the walls are moving." I laugh, and Rafe looks back up at my brother.

"How many shots did you take?" He asks me.

"Uhm..." By now, I honestly can't remember. "I think five? Or six?"

Rafe stares at me intently. "Only five?" He asks and I nod. "Yeah, we only got here at like nine, like an hour ago." He looks at his watch and shakes his head, and I see his jaw clench as he looks at my brother.

Kegs away quickly, and Rafe helps me sit down. "Alright, you stay right here okay, baby? I'll be back." He says, gesturing to someone to come over.

"Can you sit with her man? I've just got to deal with something." Rafe says as Topper nods and sits down next to me.

"Wait- wait no I want to come with you." I insist, standing back up, but he's already long gone.

"Topper let's go, let's go find him," I say, starting to head down the hall after Rafe. It's so, so long.

"Hey, Snowy we should really wait here." Topper insists, but I decide to ignore it and follow after my boyfriend anyways.

"Dude- dude I swear I didn't do anything." I hear a familiar voice say as I round the corner into the kitchen, as Topper walks past me and helps Sarah off of the floor, pulling her outside.

I look just in time to watch my boyfriend punch Ethan right in the face as Kegs holds him back against the fridge. No way his nose isn't broken. I hear Ethan cry out in pain and I just stand there- shocked.

"Don't lie to me- man. What did you put in her fucking drinks!" Rafe yells in his face, slamming him back into the door. A crowd has gathered by this point.

"No, no, it's not like that. I swear I've been drinking the same shit out of the same bottle- it's just a mix." Ethan says in his defense, and I'm still just really confused.

"And you didn't think to tell them that? They're seventeen, you dumb piece of shit!" Rafe yells, hitting him again.

"I didn't know- I swear I didn't know. Her name is Snowy for fucks sake- I thought it was a joke." Ethan coughs, still trying to get out of my brother's grasp as blood pours down his face from his nose and lip.

"Fuck you," Kegs says, pulling him away from the fridge and throwing him on the floor.

"It's in your best interest to get out of here." Rafe says, standing over him. Ethan nods, getting back up and walking past me to get to the door, but then he stops.

"Just so you know, girls with boyfriends shouldn't dress like that at parties." He says to me, and before he's even done his sentence, Kegs is there shoving him forward.

"Keep fucking moving, man." Kegs says to him, and I look over at Rafe, who's being held back by a bunch of guys who are talking to him, but I can't hear what they're saying. "Snowy? Snowy, give me your phone." I hear Kegs saying to me, so I pull it out of my pocket and hand it to him.

He holds it up to his ear as he calls someone with it, and I'm just staring off into space. I feel like nothing is real- like that didn't just happen. It's only a matter of moments before someone is in front of me again, with one hand on my shoulder and the other placed on my cheek

"Hey, hey Snowy are you here?" Someone asks me, and I look up to see Rafe.

"Where's Sarah?" I ask, and he leans down, holding his ear close to my lips so he can hear me better.

"Sarah? Uh, Tops' got her. Let's get you some fresh air, yeah?" He says, picking up my backpack from next to the kitchen island where we were standing, and wrapping his arm around my waist to guide me outside.

We get outside and I immediately lay down on the lawn. "You okay, baby? Feel sick at all?" He asks me and I shake my head a little.

"Are you okay?" I respond, looking up at him. He chuckles a little bit.

"Of course." He smiles, pushing my hair out of my face.

"Where's Sarah?" I ask.

"She's still with Top. She's alright. John B is coming to get you guys." Rafe explains.

"Wait... wait no I don't want to go home.." I mumble, knitting my brows together and shaking my head.

"You can't stay here, it's time to get home. I think in about an hour you'll be happy to be home."

"No, I want to stay with you. Can we go back to your house?" I ask, sitting up.

"Shit, well... That's complicated." He sighs, fixing his hat as it sits backward on his head.

"Why?"

"I'm not staying there right now, that's all." He explains softly.

"Oh.. well, where are you staying? I want to go there. I want to be with you." I tell him again.

"Okay, uh... Alright," He looks around, thinking. "I know a place we can stay, I think. Once Sarah gets her ride Topper will take us, okay?"

I nod and then lay back down. "Sounds good." I open my eyes again and look up at the stars. It's beautiful out tonight. "Lay here." I say, patting the ground next to me.

I hear him laugh as he lies down. "Look at the stars- they're so pretty," I tell him, pointing up.

"Oh, yeah. They are." Rafe agrees.

"Do you regret asking me out now?" I ask him, eyes still trained on the sky.

"No." He answers quickly.

"I wouldn't be mad if you changed your mind, I promise," I tell him honestly.

"Don't say that." He replies. "You're my girl. I wouldn't change that for the world."

I giggle at that. "Listen, I know I sound so crazy saying that shit twenty-four hours into our relationship, but I've been meaning to ask you about that for a while so.." Rafe explains himself.

"It's sweet." I smile. "I don't think you're crazy at all." I hear someone honk their car horn three times quickly, and I sit up making my head rush as I look out to the road. It's John B, and Topper is over helping Sarah off the porch and towards the car. "We should go over.." I say, getting up as steadily as I can.

I wander over to the Twinkie and lean against the side of the car as John B is out helping Sarah in. Topper has gone back up to the porch, sensing it's not a good time to pick a fight with John B, but I can tell he's pissed.  I look back over at my friends as John B buckles the blonde's seatbelt. "Bye, Sarah." I smile, waving at her and she waves back. John B looks at me.

"Snowy, you're coming too, just give me one second." He laughs slightly.

"No, I'm not." I pout as Kegs tries to get me to the back door.

"I told him to come get you both." Kegs says.

"But Rafe said I could stay with him." I frown, sitting in the back of the car now. I watch my brother's confused face as he turns to my boyfriend, and they walk a little ways off to talk.

I turn my attention to John B and Sarah. "What happened?" John B asks either of us as he gets in the driver's seat again. Sarah can take this one.

"Uhm.. so we were going shot for shot with this guy, and apparently there was something in the drinks, but I don't know what, but we didn't know it was mixed at all, and then Snowy went to the bathroom and then Rafe and Kegs came and beat him up," Sarah explains, and I nod in agreement. That about sums it up.

"Dude- holy shit." John B says, wide-eyed as he looks between us. He looks up as Kegs and Rafe walk back up to the car, and Kegs goes over to the driver's side window to talk to JB as Rafe comes to the back door and holds his hand out for me to take. I take it, and he helps me out as the two other boys talk.

"Should I be taking them to the hospital?" John B asks my brother, who shakes his head.

"Nah, man. We talked to that guy's friends and they told us what was in it, nothing actually dangerous in the amount they had. But keep an eye on her anyways, she'll just have to sleep it off." Kegs said as he rests his hand on the top of the car.

"What about Snow?" John B asks him next, noticing I got out of the car.

"Rafe is gonna take her- you only need one girl to carry in." My brother jokes.

John B looks over at us uncertainly. "Hey, she'll be fine, pal, just get out of here." Kegs tells him, stepping back from the van so John B can drive off.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

taglist: @boo22sstuff@madelynie (message me if you want to be added!!)

[blackjackkent]

Rakha's conversation with Kagha is... interesting.

"Go on. Say it. You think I'm a monster."

"Monster? Too kind. A demon, more like."

The most interesting thing about this is that the drabble I wrote yesterday has Rakha considering that term as applied to herself.

And her determination was that she believes (or at least very much wants to believe) that she herself is not a monster, though perhaps the "beast" Urge is. She is coming to draw a distinction in her own behavior between the unreasoning violence of the "beast" and the violence she is capable of by choice. That one conversation with Lae'zel early on has turned out to be pretty fundamental to how she views herself right now - attack with purpose.

And so her opinion of Kagha is similarly nuanced. After all, Kagha ultimately let the girl go. And her actions were, at least in theory, not out of cruelty for its own sake, but in service of her grove. Does she like Kagha, or think that threatening Arabella with a snake was a productive choice? Not really. But "monster" is a loaded term for Rakha right now.

"You're protecting your own," she says. "Sometimes cruelty is required." Maybe not the particular cruelty Kagha ended up choosing, but still...

(A/N: Wyll disapproves. The only option I had that would make him not disapprove was to say "Only a monster would threaten a child" which, like. Seems unlikely for Rakha to say at this point. She would threaten a child, if it seemed likely to accomplish something necessary. XD Wyll's influence is already starting to rub off on Rakha somewhat but it is very early days still. Lae'zel approved though so there's that.)

Kagha looks at her with mild curiosity and some surprise. "First you urge grace. Then you speak truth," she says coolly. "You've surprised me twice over. A shame the grace period ends. The viper's fangs have been bared. She must guard her brood." She shrugs. "No matter. I took back the Idol of Silvanus and the rite has resumed. We will seal the grove. Free from harm. Free of intruders."

Rakha feels more than usually aware of Wyll's eyes digging into her back, and changes the subject abruptly away from these matters of morality. "This rite must be born of powerful magic."

"The Rite of Thorns," Kagha says gravely. "It is the Treefather's gift, that none come to harm. When we speak the final prayer, the Great Vine will sprout forth. The grove will be cloaked in bramble and thorn. No one enters. No one leaves. Sanctuary." She scowls. "None of this can happen while outlanders infect us. Silvanus demands that we choke them out."

Rakha raises an eyebrow thoughtfully. She has to admit to a certain amount of interest in the magic as Kagha describes it. A tremendous amount of power must be involved; she could already feel it prickling on her skin as they walked through the grove outside. When the Rite is complete, there will be quite a show, that much is certain.

As for the refugees... the beast in her head, of course, thrills to the idea of their bodies stretched bloody on the road, but Rakha herself takes no particular pleasure in their fate. And Kagha, she decides, is unpleasant, regardless of whether or not she deserves other monikers.

"You'd leave them to die on the road," she says. It isn't a question, just a statement of fact.

Kagha stiffens. "I am First Druid now," she says pointedly. "I protect the circle - whatever the cost." She looks at Rakha appraisingly for a moment. "You showed great mettle at the gate - the mettle of a skilled sword for hire. I want you to provide your services to the tiefling leader - Zevlor, he's called. Offer to guide the outlanders out of the grove. I'm sure they'll reward you well." Her eyes harden. "They're to be gone before final prayer. If they are not... the viper must strike."

Rakha considers this in silence. It's an idea, certainly. If their path towards Lae'zel's creche takes them in the same direction, there is no reason why not. And should the refugees be attacked, it would be an easy way to sate the beast for a time, in tearing the attackers apart.

Certainly I am ready to finish our business here and be gone...

"Then it seems I'd best speak to Zevlor," she says slowly.

"You will do more than speak," Kagha says sharply. "This tale ends but one way - with the outlander rot clenased and the grove forever shrouded."

-----

"Damnable woman," Wyll mutters bitterly as they turn to walk away. "And what was that nonsense about cruelty is sometimes required? You yourself saw the child had to be out of her grasp."

"The girl did not need to die. But cruelty is sometimes required," Rakha says. "Or do you regret the blade you put through the goblin's chest?"

"That's not the same thing," he says hotly. "And you know it."

"I know very little," Rakha says flatly. "We will speak to Zevlor. If he requires assistance and our routes coincide... well." She shrugs. "I suspect the druids will face a greater punishment, when the Rite is complete."

He squints. "What do you mean?"

"They will all be trapped in here with Kagha."

Lae'zel snorts sharply and Wyll gives a startled laugh. "Hah. True enough. Thank the gods for small comforts."