#( this is very late and the event is long-over @__@ it's okay if you wanna drop this thread! )
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destielembarker ¡ 1 month ago
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BUCKY BARNES x READER
my everything…
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Summary: Bucky comes back from the events of Thunderbolts* and you GOTTA fix his hair with some tough love.
tags: cursing, bucky barnes x reader, fluff, alpine being a lil shit, already married fic, domestic banter turned sweet, cuddles, kisses, wound dressing, no use of y/n or pronouns, DISCUSSION ABOUT ARM IN THE DAMN DISHWASHER.
notes: i know this shit is written like a 4th grader did it and i really just don’t care enough to fix it BC I NEEDED TO GET THIS DISHWASHER DISCUSSION OFF MY CHEST. plz comment!!!
Bucky has been gone for 3 months now. It isnt uncommon for him to leave for long periods of time but, definitely been hard but you picked up some extra shifts to fill the time.
Last night you heard the front door open and close and quiet footsteps approaching your room as not to wake you. Alpine, who was lying on the end of your bed, picked up her head at the noise.
He came in the bedroom and quietly dropped his bag and coat in the corner and crawled into bed behind you and wrapped his arm around your waist. Alpine crawled over, quietly sniffing out the stranger. Immediately she registered who it was and let out multiple happy chirps and head bumps on his back.
He chuckled at her eagerness.
He turned back to you, whispering in your ear, “hey.”
You’re fully awake now, “Bucky!!”
You rolled over and hugged and kissed his face. Which he happily accepted. The room was very dim. You ran your fingers through his hair. “Getting long again, huh?” You laughed.
He let out a sigh, “Yeah, let’s go back to bed. Wanna see you in the morning.”
His tone indicated he was tired so you quickly nodded and leaned your head down into his chest and fell back asleep with Alpine purring between you two.
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The next morning you woke up as you usually do, 5 AM with the morning orange glow pouring into your room and alpine screaming at your feet.
“Okay okay!” You laughed, rolling out of bed to feed her.
“I hadn’t missed that.” Bucky laughed, covering his head with the blankets.
You get up and feed the beast and return back to your bedroom to see him, propped up on some pillows rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
You’re stopped dead in your tracks when you finally make eye contact with him, seeing what you didn’t see in the dim light last night.
“James…” You say in a quiet voice.
“Huh?” He tilts his head in confusion.
“Baby, have you looked in the mirror lately?” You laughed.
“Yeah, why?”
“Because, I love you, but that haircut has to go.” You said annoyed.
“I knew you were gonna say something.” He chuckled.
“Also where the fuck is your arm?” You said crossing your arms.
He stayed silent but you both knew the answer.
“James. Bathroom. Now.” He groaned like a child being punished but rolled out of bed in just a wife beater and some black briefs, which kinda made you less mad at him. He still got a perky little butt you loved from day one.
You followed him into the bathroom and rummaged through the drawers looking for your clippers. He assumed his position, sitting on the side of the tub.
You plugged them in and turned around to face him. Those beautiful blue eyes staring up at you like you hung the moon.
After all these years, you could never truly be mad at him. But you have to act like it so he doesn’t think you’re a pushover.
“Bug…” you say playing with the ends of his hair.
“I know. I know.” He said waving your hand away.
“Like I wouldn’t be so mad if this didn’t look like shit! It looks like you got your hair cut from a middle aged white lady!” You laughed.
“I just haven’t had time.” He says turning his head to watch Alpine push her way into the bathroom, chirping again when she saw him. “Hi my love!” He says patting his lap. She immediately runs over and leaps into his lap and nuzzling his chin.
You flick on the clippers. “She missed you…” you said in a softer tone.
“You think?” He said petting her gently as you made long strokes across his head.
Alpine swatting at the falling pieces of hair.
“Hey hey!” You say swatting the hair out of her paws and mouth. “No!”
She looks up at you confused.
“What’s that for?” Bucky said petting her back.
“James… don’t even get me started.” You say continuing to work your way around his head, more annoyed this time.
“Tell me.”
“Well, YOUR child decided it was a good idea to eat eighteen of my little hair ties while you were gone.” You say while scratching her ears.
“Okay…” he says, inquiring further.
“Okay? Well it cost me two fucking grand on emergency surgery, Buck!”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh! You should be lucky I took her in the second she stopped eating.”
He laughed and looked down at her on his lap, “Did my baby girl give mommy a hard time while Daddy was gone?” She chirped and head butted his chest.
“Don’t laugh! She could have died! Look!” You say reaching over to pick her up under the arms. Her legs sway below her, exposing her belly with a dark pink scar running down her abdomen and hair clipped in a perfect square.
He reached out and grabbed her with his one arm, from your grasp, kissing her forehead. “Oh my poor baby!” He said flipping her onto her back in the crook of his arm like a baby. “She didn’t mean it.” He says looking up at you with those pleading eyes again.
Everytime you see him with that tiny white cat, you cannot help but to feel your heart swell. Just the image of this big strong man with a tiny cat cradled in his arm is enough to melt anyone’s heart.
“Okay okay, well you’re not out of the doghouse yet.” You say finishing up his hair.
“Oh yeah?” He says rocking her softly.
You flip off the clippers and grab the scissors on the counter and walk back over to him, waving the scissors in his face, and bending down to eye level.
“What the fuck did I say about putting your arm in the dishwasher? Huh?” You say grabbing his chin and standing back up straight.
“But-“ he started, trying to defend himself.
“No buts Bucky! That’s nasty!” You say putting your hands on your hips.
“How is it nasty?” He says annoyed.
“Because Buck, you go out and beat the shit out of people with the arm, getting dead guy blood and dirt all over it. Then you come home and put that shit in the same place where we put plates, which we eat off of!” You say, raising your tone again.
“Well-…” he pauses.
You bend back down and kiss his forehead. “My love, I’ve told you, if you want it cleaned, that’s not a problem. Just let me clean it. In the tub. Where I can use bleach to scrub the tub afterwards.”
“Yeah but that means you have to do extra work for me….” He says with tears in his eyes, you can tell no one has ever done this for him before.
You walk over and hug his head onto your stomach. “Bug… listen to me…”
He tilts his head upward to indicate him listening.
“That’s what marriage is about. I’m not doing this because I hate you. I’m doing this because I love you, and I love myself because I don’t wanna eat off plates with dead guy juices on it, but mostly because I love you!”
He chuckles and sniffs, turning his head to wipe his nose on his shoulder. “You sure?” He says putting the cat down onto the floor.
You pull yourself off him and kneel onto the floor in front of him, cupping his cheeks into your hands, thumbing away the stray tears. “Bucky Barnes…. I wouldn’t have taken your last name if I thought you were a burden to me. You did such a good job during the courting phase to show me the good, the bad, and the ugly… and I still said yes.”
He cracked a smile and looked up at you.
“The lengths I would go to give you everything I have… my life, my soul, my body, and everything I own. You are my everything.”
He nodded and pulled you into a warm hug. “I love you so much.” He said with a broken tone.
“I love you too, Bug.”
You spend the next few seconds of the hug rubbing your hands over his back. He winced slightly every time you touched his right side.
“Buck…” you said in a worried tone.
You pull back from the hug and lift up his tank top.
“Baby… that looks bad.” You sighed, sitting back on your heels.
He nodded slowly.
You turn around to grab the first aid kit from the bottom of the cabinet and crawl over to him.
You put some rubbing alcohol onto a cotton pad and start to slowly dab the huge cut running down his back around to his stomach. He scrunched his eyes and clenched his fist and hissed quietly.
“Shhh… I know baby. But it’s gonna get infected if you don’t let me dress it. How long ago did this happen?”
“Couple days…” he mumbled through gritted teeth.
“Did you put anything on it? Actually I don’t wanna know the answer.” You said quickly.
You continue patting the scratch, using up about half of your cotton pads that are now soaked in blood.
He’s white knuckling the side of the tub by time you’re finished.
“Can you do something for me?” You say, cleaning your mess of bloody cotton balls littering the floor.
“I guess?” He says pulling his shirt back down.
“Will you tell me about your wounds.”
He scoffs, “Why?”
“Do I have to repeat the conversation we just had?”
“… no” he muttered.
“Okay then, I don’t want you unnecessarily suffering. Period. End of story. Got it?” You say standing up and opening the bathroom door.
“Got it.”
“Now come on, I’m making you breakfast.” He chuckles and bounces up to follow you to the kitchen.
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kithtaehyung ¡ 11 months ago
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would u? (3tan717) | myg
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3tan717 drabble #1: would u? pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series: masterlist | three tangerines | 3tan717 rating/genre: pg (18+) ; fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: you see a certain fruit-centered trend online.. and decide to test it on yoongi note: i am so so so sorry this is out on the very last day of feb but things have been absolute bananas lately! tbh i’m surprised this is even getting posted on time and i have even more to do after this is shared but eff it shibal!!! note 2: as promised, this is dedicated to the people that submitted the answers i’m using for this drabble: anon, grapes / @yoongrace, and apryl @aprylynn for this idea hehehe! also i literally just finished this so it's legit unedited so i'm sry for any mistakes! off to go prep for events now! warnings: 3tan yoongi as always, working yoongi??, kitchen, period cramps suck but yoongi to the mf rescue drop date: feb 29th, 2024, 10:03pm est word count: 2.3k
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Ugh. 
Why does this have to happen every fucking month. Why can’t it happen every three? Or six? Or never ever ever? 
Groaning, you roll over, burying your face into the pillow on Yoongi’s side. 
To some degree, you feel placated, probably due to his scent still lingering next to your dismay. He had to get up early to finish a track, but he assured you can be in the room. 
You can hear a little bit of what he’s working on as it bleeds through his headphones, and even just this sliver of sound gives you chills. Not just because of what it sounds like, but the sole fact that Yoongi’s letting you even listen in the first place. 
Huffing out a bit of amusement, you remember the last time Yoongi let you stay while he worked—albeit at his place while he went to the studio. 
Damn, how much you’ve grown since then. All those memories, those quiet times and tumultuous times, everything leading up to now. How time has molded you with knowing hands. 
However, no matter how much has changed all these months, some things have not wavered, like the fact that you needed to be sure he was okay with it—and his answer making you absurdly shy. 
Did he really have to say that you’re either staying or he’s gonna leave? That scheming motherfucker! 
Some drum beats hit your cheek before you realize the menace himself is playing multiple different ones. It’s only a couple hits before he moves onto the next, and you’re about to lift your hea—
“Fuck, where the hell is that kick?” 
Your laugh is stifled by cotton. As tickled as you are to hear Yoongi like this, you don’t wanna do anything to distract him. 
But by doing so, that causes your body to tighten and fuck, it hurts. It hurts to move, it hurts to laugh, it hurts to just exist. God, you want him to come back and join you so bad, but you don’t wanna be that person. 
…Yet. Maybe if it gets so bad you can’t even sleep? 
“Found you! Fucking finally. Thought you could hide from me, huh?” 
Oh, fucking hell, he’s adorable. 
Yeah, there’s no way you’re making him drop everything right now. This is too precious of an afternoon to stop. 
Exhaling a mile long breath, you fight through your pain and feel for your phone, groaning as you shift yourself. When in position under sheets and warm sunlight, you cycle through apps as a distraction. 
Scrolling. Scrolling. Smiling at some animal videos a bit before scrolling again. 
After all of five minutes, you start to see a trend on your feed, and suddenly get the idea to try it on Yoongi. It’s simple and harmless, right? 
You [3:30pm]: would u peel an orange for me 
Yoongi doesn’t say anything, and you lift your head slightly to see if he looks at his phone. 
When he does, he checks it really quick before setting it back down on his desk, back to clicking on his screen. 
Ah. Damn. He must really be in the zone because… 
Uhh. 
Blinking, you watch as Yoongi rolls his chair out to get up, setting his glasses down and heading out of the room with a light swing of his chains. 
Uh. What just happened? Did you upset him? You’re so stunned that his swift exit has you wanting to get up and follow him.  
But ow. Ouch. It’s maddening how much your cramps are getting to you. 
Bearing the punches to your gut, you start sliding out of the bed, straining and sucking in sharp breaths just to stand and pull Yoongi’s comforter over your tension. 
Padding out the bedroom, your worries make your steps tiny and heavy, and you regret sending that text because you literally just said you weren’t… gonna…
On the dining table—quiet—lie three tangerines, peeled and placed next to vibrant scraps while your lover peels a fourth with diligent, devoted hands. 
And you can’t even form words that match how you feel. 
Your vision swims right as Yoongi looks your way, his body stilling before he puts the fruit down. 
When he approaches with concern, you answer his silent questions through hiccups, “I—I thought you left cus—you were mad.” 
“Huh?” 
“I don’t even know,” you swallow, gesturing to all of your lower half and feeling him hold the slipping blanket. “It’s just… this, I guess.”
“Does it hurt?” 
“Like a motherfucker.” 
“Oh, shit, I’m sorry, doll. Hold up.” Handing you the comforter, Yoongi goes to his cabinets in the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of medicine before walking it over. “You gotta take something as soon as you feel it. Don’t let it get this bad.”
“I know,” you groan, resting your head on his shirt and inhaling his healing presence. “I didn’t wanna bother you.” 
Your forehead is kissed. “You’re not bothering me. Especially with something like this.” 
“Okay.” 
He walks away again to grab some water, and you watch as he pours some into an electric kettle before starting it up. 
Glancing back at the fruit, you sigh, clutching the bottle of pills while feeling the weight of his comforter. He’s probably not pleased with the way it might drag on the ground, so you gather it and pick the end chair to sit on. 
And then you sigh, “Sorry for making you peel those. I didn’t even plan on eating anything.”  
“Too bad. You’re gonna eat what I make you anyway.” 
Wait, he’s cooking? He has work to do! “You’re working, though. Don’t worry about me right now.” 
“It’ll be quick.” 
“What are you making?” 
A glass bowl and pan are procured from random places before Yoongi blinks in place. “Uhh.. You’ll see.” 
As he clunks them onto his counter and stove, you watch with hearts for eyes as he bustles around the kitchen space. Even doing things as simple as washing his hands, opening his fridge, and simply grabbing a knife gives you pause. 
And this is when you realize that you can watch Yoongi do absolutely anything and be amazed. 
Even when he stands, watching you with a look that’s wait why doesn’t he look—
“Take the medicine, baby girl.” 
Oh. 
Snapping out of your trance, you nod. “Sorry.” 
Yoongi continues to give you glances until you swallow down the painkillers, satisfied enough to continue his cooking venture when you take the second one. 
As the sun paints the apartment in marigold and light, you keep watching with a smile as he brings the kitchen to life. Butter sizzles in a pan, tangerines are getting halved on a board, and something is getting mixed with a whisk. 
Who knew that the neighborhood fuckboy would have a whisk on hand? Not the younger you, that’s for damn sure. 
But here Yoongi is, in the flesh, whisking away with veiny forearms that have you thinking the most absurd thoughts during this time of the month. The only thing that would cut through the raging horniness would be getting up to see what the hell he’s making. 
It’s starting to smell familiar though. But he put the tangerines in the pan so you don’t even know what to expect right now. 
Walking up��blanket left behind—you observe the kitchen before peering over his broad shoulder. “Mm.. Smells like pancakes.” 
Yoongi doesn’t answer, but when you see the consistency of the batter, you realize you’re correct. “Oh, it is! I’m smart.” 
“You are,” he laughs. “But you didn’t get it all the way right.” 
“No?” 
“Nope.” Yoongi then gently gets you to move before he pours the batter over the slices, and you crane your neck to watch as he evens it all out. “Just one tangerine pancake.”
“Oh, okay,” you scoff, earning a laugh at your side. “Whatever, chef.” 
“We’ll see what you say in a bit.” 
Is he gonna leave it or flip it? Probably the latter. 
“K. Gonna flip that once it’s done.” 
Nice. You smile to yourself, loving how you’re starting to really be on the same page. Nudging him, you keep watching as he lowers the heat and sets the lid on the pan. “What now?” 
“We wait,” he responds, dusting his hands together before cleaning up his mixing bowl. “And I’m gonna see if we have any sugar.”
Damn it, Yoongi cannot keep saying that two-letter word. It’s starting to be detrimental to your health. “I can help.” 
“S’ok,” he assures, nose upturned. “Just watch me work.” 
“Oh, I’m very good at doing that.” 
At this, Yoongi turns and gives you a smile that immediately reminds you of summer, and you almost feel like crying again. 
“I’ve actually never tried this, but. We’ll see if this works.” 
With nothing snarky, or teasing, or fake to say, you reply with a smile and a genuine, “I’m sure it will.” 
When he keeps staring, his eyes lower to your lips, and you don’t care that you probably look like a wreck, or feel like one. Because the way he’s looking at you now makes you glow. 
If only the kettle didn’t decide this was the moment to stop boiling. 
You were probably about to get the kiss of your life. 
But Yoongi halts in his tracks before shifting to get a mug, setting it down with a thud before checking on the pancakes. Pancake. Whatever that delicious-smelling thing is gonna be. 
“There’s some tea packets in that right drawer. Help yourself cus I’d rather you pick.” 
Chuckling, you oblige before scooting over. After seeing a small jar of granules on the counter, you start rummaging through the drawer, exploring the various options while hearing the sound of a plate behind you. 
Ah, Yoongi’s flipping it. 
As you turn, you’re just in time to watch the muscles in his back protrude through his shirt as he flips the pan, impressed as he sets the plate down because holy hell that looks great. 
“Sugar, sugar, sugar… Suga, suga, suga.” 
Laughing, you interrupt his silly search as you grab the jar you just saw. “Suga suga, how you get so fly?”
Yoongi stops to see what’s in your hand, and he huffs through a grin before grabbing it. “Thanks, doll.” 
You keep humming the song that’s now wedged into your head as you watch him sprinkle bits on the pancake. 
“I don’t have a blowtorch,” he admits, “But I do have this.” 
Rolling out a drawer, Yoongi takes out a long lighter before holding it to the sugary top, humming the same song you were just singing without even knowing it. As the sugar slowly but surely heats, you both keep humming and basking in a calm afternoon. 
And you don’t even feel the pain anymore. 
“Go ahead and sit, babe.” 
“You sure?” 
“Uh huh.” 
Following instructions, you make your way to the table, cocooning yourself in his comforter again as you await the cutest meal you’ve had in weeks. Months. Lifetimes. 
Speaking of lifetimes… You hope every version of you meets every version of him. No matter when. No matter where. Because you want every version of yourself to find happiness, and Yoongi has been the one to help you finally find it. 
And he certainly passed whatever the hell this orange theory thing was supposed to be. 
Plates are set down to break you out of introspection, and you glance up with eyes sparkling. 
When Yoongi raises a brow, you just smile. When he asks what’s gotten into you, a chuckle escapes before you shake your head, 
“Nothing, baby. Just didn’t expect all this from that text.” 
As he plops into the next chair, you love the way the sun settles on his skin. Highlights his hair. Shimmers in his eyes. 
“Don’t even need to ask, babe.” He captures your attention with a calm look. “I was waiting for any distractions anyways.” 
So this was for him, too? Good. 
Grabbing your fork, you giggle. “Sounded like you were having a little trouble over there.” 
“I was! This is what I get for not saving my shit.” 
Both of you sit back in laugher as you throw your hands out. “Do that!” 
“I’m lazy!” 
“Tough shit!” 
“I know!” 
Grinning, you loll your head before waving your fork out. “You’re gonna save those sounds, and you’re gonna remember this day and thank me.” 
Yoongi just tightens his lips in a smile, eyes creased and glimmering. “Maybe.” 
“Yes. I’ll stand there and watch you until you do it.” 
"Really.."
For the rest of the afternoon—with full bellies and clear minds—you rest on the edge of Yoongi’s bed, forcing him to find the files he needs and watching him groan his way through saving everything. 
Constantly laughing at the ridiculously random names he’s assigning them.
When he’s done, you watch as he spins around in his chair, heart thumping with anticipation as you’re met with a waiting pair of eyes.
Breathtaking. 
When he leans in, you feel incredibly shy. Always, always, always. This will forever remain the same.
And—just as well—Yoongi's kisses will forever taste like tangerines. 
Three of them, to be exact. 
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fin. :)
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how did the first 717 drabble go! | join the discord hehe
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a/n: nothing much to say other than i love y'all so much! i will try responding to anything when i can (there's literally still all the 3tan12 feedback to get to) but i do read all the commentary sent in and it keeps me going strong :'))) so thank you again for being here and being amazingly patient with me. off to work on more things but i shall be back once the wild weeks are over!
a/n 2: suga suga how you get so flyyyy hahaha
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deantfwinchester ¡ 19 days ago
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Gingerly
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Pairing: No-Outbreak!AU, Joel x Teacher!Reader, same timeline
This one is set not long before the events of "A New Chapter" - before Reader & Sarah pick out Halloween costumes :)
Summary: Early mornings in the first trimester present a new set of challenges for the growing Miller family. Joel does his best to find remedies for their dilemma.
Warnings: pregnancy, so many euphemisms for vomit, so beware
A/N: this one isn't very long. it's lowkey a prequel to the one I'm posting next. Very similar stories at two different points in their lives. <3
Word Count: 1.8k.
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You’re spending longer than usual this morning hugging the porcelain. It didn’t take long after discovering your pregnancy for the morning sickness to kick in, and it’s a killer. This is happening more often than you’d like, but at least it’s over pretty quickly most days — just a little eviction of last night’s dinner to make room for breakfast, apparently. Isn’t this kid supposed to make you hungrier? What’s their deal?
Today’s a little different, and you’re left retching long enough to impact your punctuality to work. Gotta send a text to some coworkers to get your class covered. You hate it, but it’s not exactly a willpower game at this point — this kid wants all of yesterday’s food GONE, but your stomach is putting up a fight. Unfortunately, you’re the one losing.
Joel’s wandering anxiously in and out of the bathroom, worrying like hell. He’s going back and forth between sitting with you and rubbing your back —he’d pulled your hair up for you after the first evacuation — and checking on Sarah, making sure she gets ready for school. He’d hovered for a while until the two of you heard Sarah come downstairs, and you insisted he go get her some breakfast, just please don’t tell you what it is. He’s in and out as Sarah eats, and she pops in to check on you and tell you she made him sit down for a minute and eat something too. You shoot her the most grateful smile you can muster on the green-around-the-gills visage you’re sporting at the moment. He’s got a full day ahead as well, and you’d been worrying right back… from your position on the bathroom tile, at least. 
When they’ve both finished breakfast, Joel returns to your side, waiting until the last possible second to leave before Sarah’s late for school. You assure him it’s not a big deal, you’ll be okay in a little while. He knows this, and that it’s normal, but it breaks his heart to leave you there on the floor.
“How ‘bout I drop Sarah off and come right back? Tommy can get everybody started at the site, and I’ll just stay long enough to get you to work,” he questions, placing the back of his hand to your cheek to check your temperature again “just to make sure that’s all it is!” before sighing and tucking some loose hair behind your ear. You shake your head slowly, trying to minimize the nausea. 
“There’s not really anything for you to do, sweetie. As much as having you here with me afterward makes me feel better, we can’t both be late to work every day for the next month. Maybe longer than that. I’ll probably be fine by the time you get back anyway. Just be a wasted trip.” You huff at the end, hoping the nausea is reaching its end for this morning and you can get up and get ready to leave.
Joel looks at you with a pained expression and cringes at the word month. Just seeing you dealing with this the last few weeks has been agonizing for him — he doesn’t even want to imagine how it feels. 
“No such thing as a wasted trip when it comes to you, darlin’. ‘S my job, you know that,” he responds, with a sympathetic smile, and continues before you can rebut. “But alright, I’m goin’. Promise you’ll text me if you’re feelin’ any worse?,” he lifts a pinky to you, and you hook yours right back, turning your cheek when he tries to kiss your lips. You chuckle at his disappointment when his own lips meet your cheek.
“Gross, you do not wanna kiss me right now,” you laugh through. He begs to differ but understands your reluctance. He tells you to hang tight for just a minute before he finally leaves, and returns with an armful of supplies. Next to you on the floor are a water bottle, some plain crackers, some tylenol, and something with bubbles to settle your stomach. 
He asks you to “please try and eat a little somethin’ before you leave, baby”, to which you nod and assure him you’ll do your best, trying to get him satisfied as possible and light a fire under him before Sarah’s late for school. He bends down, kisses the top of your head, squeezes your shoulder, and heads out the door to meet Sarah in his truck. 
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Joel's texting to check on you around the time you get off the floor. You’re nibbling the crackers he left and trying small sips of water like he asked — which he’s reminded you of again — but you’re struggling with it.  He calls you as you’re packing your things to leave. 
“Hey sweetheart, how you feelin’? Get any of those crackers down for me?” he inquires.
“I’m fine, just about to leave. I ate a couple of them, and I’ll bring them with me,” you respond, trying and failing to keep the exhaustion from your voice. He pauses for a moment.
“Level with me, baby. You don’t sound up for it, you sure we don’t need to talk to the doctor? I can come home, we can go today, I’ll just—” but you cut him off before he can spiral any further.
“Joel. You’re sweet, and I know you’re worried, but it’s not any worse than normal. It’s just sticking around longer today. Yes, I’m still a little,,, blech,,, but it’ll be gone in a bit. I’ll make some tea before I leave, that’ll help,” you affirm. He lets out a sigh that tells you he’s not convinced, but resigned to the fact you’re going to work regardless. Soon enough, he arrives at the site and asks you to keep him updated, which you promise and wish him a good day and an “i love you” to get you both through the day. 
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You get to work right before the switch to 2nd period, still not feeling great, but stable enough to drive there safely and get your kids started on something to keep them busy. Today’s a good day for a documentary, a worksheet, and a dark classroom. The kids will thank you for it anyway, but somehow still need something every three minutes. That’s at least one thing that won’t be unfamiliar when the baby arrives — even though you have high schoolers. 
You shoot Joel a text, letting him know you got to work okay, and that you’ve chosen something to help you take it (slightly) easy today. You hope this message will ease his mind so he can get back to work as well.
Joel responds with a brief message in the affirmative, but he’s still worried sick. He’s seen you deal with this each day for the last couple of weeks, but this morning your voice was shaking and your face was ashen. What if this isn’t just today? What if it’s getting worse? He's afraid you’ll end up dehydrated or won’t bother to eat enough at work. You struggle with remembering lunch on days you feel good, he knows you won’t even bother today, and it’s eating at him while he works. 
He decides to surprise you at lunch time with something filling that won’t upset your stomach, and that’ll entice you to eat. He wants to make sure you’re fed today, and that there are some more options at the ready — for your sake and his own. He does a little research and stops by the grocery store to grab an array of plain foods and a bunch of liquids. By the time he leaves there are multiple types of crackers in tow, applesauce packets, a few bone broths, some of your favorite juices and teas, a bag of ginger candies plus a jar of ginger gummy vitamins, and more. He’s no technology wiz, but the man can google up a storm when the need arises. 
He rolls up to your classroom’s back door when he knows it’s time for lunch and texts you, grabbing his things and stepping out of the truck to meet you. You walk out to find him with a big bottle of cold gatorade and a takeout bag hanging from his fingers. You muse that the pretty big gatorade bottle looks normal-sized in Joel's large, gentle hands. You don’t even take anything from his grasp before you lean forward into his chest and wrap your arms around his waist. He smiles, and wordlessly puts his chin atop your head before wrapping his free arm around you, rubbing lightly up and down your back.
Neither of you has to say a word for him to tell you’re still not feeling 100%, and he’s whispering sweet things while you stand there in his embrace. You hide your face in his chest trying to quell your tears before they start. You know him well enough that this gesture doesn’t exactly surprise you, but he’s so thoughtful that his kindness moves you every damn time. It’s not something you ever felt before Joel, but he’ll never stop trying to get you accustomed, and you know that.
You look up at Joel like he hung the moon, memorizing every warm shade in his bright eyes, hoping your own reflect the appreciation and admiration dancing in your chest. He holds you tight and sits you in the passenger seat of the truck before pulling out the takeout boxes and cracking open your gatorade. The cool, lightly-flavored liquid soothes you in a way water hasn’t quite accomplished today — doesn’t even matter that neither of you knows what “Glacier Freeze” means, it’s effective. 
You lean against his shoulder while you both eat lunch, talking to each other and the baby. Joel laughs and praises you for putting on a movie for your kids before recounting the events of his morning. He shares everything he learned from his research, and even more he heard at the grocery store from a couple of older women who saw him contemplating the ginger options by the prenatal vitamins. You imagine him staring intently at bottles in the pregnancy aisle of the Health & Beauty section and laugh, thinking of how his concentration and concern would’ve made the old ladies he spoke to melt. You’re surprised he didn’t get a cheek pinched at this rate. 
You sit together until the school bell breaks your reverie and you have to kiss him goodbye. He hands you an already prepped ziploc baggie of even more shelf-stable snacks he bought to keep in your desk to settle your stomach as needed. You grin at him again, shaking your head.
“Joel, this is too much trouble. I can’t believe you did all of this just this morning!” you exclaim, before he scoffs and responds. 
“I told you — no such thing as a wasted trip for you, baby.”
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davidlcki ¡ 1 year ago
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Blood Bond
Summary: after bob taylor’s death, you and your police partner loki have to work through the trauma together.
Warnings: MAJOR TRIGGERS IN THIS!!! suicide, lots of blood, cursing, drinking. this whole thing is just sad lol
words: 3,380
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There was something beautiful about the bond formed within a traumatic event. Somehow, even in your state, you thought about this. You could feel the shift between you and Loki as he placed his hands on your cheeks, shaking you lightly as a desperate pleas spill from his lips, an attempt to will you back to reality.
His palms slid against your cheeks that were slick with blood. The feeling made you sick. It wasn’t your own blood, of course. But Bob Taylor’s. The man that had been questioned relentlessly by your police force- well- mostly Loki. Loki could only keep his cool for so long. You tried to take over the interrogation, but he was too stubborn to ever let that happen. One thing led to another, and in a blink of an eye Bob had his hands on Lokis gun. You tried. You tried with every fiber of your being to get him to drop it. Whilst the rest of the officers in the room pointed their guns and screamed with rage, you never touched yours.
“Bob… look at me. You don’t wanna do this, okay?” you were close. Almost in arms reach of him. He was listening to you, even through the shouting, he heard you. You continued to inch forwards. “All you have to do, is answer our questions. It’s no trouble. Please, just put the gun down.” you stop, mere inches from being able to grab the gun, but you were too late. Bob looked you dead in the eyes as he brought the gun to his own head and pulled the trigger.
You don’t remember falling to the ground, but you do remember the ringing in your ears and the oddly warm feeling of his blood trickling down your face. Loki hooked his arms under yours and dragged you backwards before kneeling down in front of you, blocking the sight of Bobs body. It took a second for his words to reach your ears.
“Y/N! god… jesus…” he didn’t know what to say. You noticed how badly his hands were shaking as he grabbed your face. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, you could only look at him. You noticed how blue his eyes were as you stared into them in a trance that you didn’t know how to get out of. Finally, he lifted you to your feet by your arms, basically dragging you out of the interrogation room. You followed on numb legs as he pulled you all the way to the bathrooms, pushing you down to a sitting position on a bench by the sinks. The dim blue fluorescent lights flickered unpredictably above you.
“Y/N, honey, are you hurt?” his voice was soft and brought you back to reality a little. You had the mind to shake your head no, though if you were you were sure you wouldn’t have felt it. You looked down at your hands in your lap as loki wet a rag in the sink. Your hands, shirt, hair, face, pants, they were speckled with blood. You looked like a sick art project. You decide shut your eyes for a while, allowing Loki to wipe your face down gently. After a while, he speaks.
“Hey, I need you to say something.”
You look at him. Even though you felt numb, there were tears falling down your cheeks, and when you finally opened your mouth to speak, you felt it. A sharp, stabbing, murderous pain.
“I…i’m, I don’t,” your words quickly deteriorated to sobs that violently took over your body. Loki pulled you by your shoulder into him, allowing you to cry into the crook of his neck.
You had only been lokis partner for a month or two, and were very new to the police force. You had never witnessed a murder before, and especially not a suicide by gunshot a foot away from you.
“I’m gonna take you home, alright? Can you get up?” You nod against him as loki ran a hand up and down your back gently as he spoke softly into the silence of the bathroom. You notice the blood that you left seeping into his light blue button up shirt. You wondered if he’d be upset at this.
When you exited the bathroom, you passed by the interrogation room again. Bobs body was gone, but his crimson blood remained. On the walls, on the floor. There was a large smear where you had fell and Loki dragged you backwards. You were dully aware of the way loki brushed off every officer that tried to talk to him. You were sure youd have to fill out some kind of paperwork and have a stern talking to by o’malley, but the sight of you was enough for everyone to back off for now.
The ride home in his car was dead silent. You didn’t dare move. You were afraid that if you did, you’d crumble into a million pieces. Instead, you started down at your lap, counting the flecks of now dried blood that you’d never get out of these clothes.
“You have a very nice place.” Lokis words shot through you like lightning. You didn’t know why. You were too in your head, you guessed. You hardly remembered the walk from the car into your home.
“Thank you.” you look over at him slowly, noticing the look of deep guilt on his features. You’d never seen him show so much emotion before in the short time that you had known him. He stood awkwardly near the island in your kitchen, not sure what to do next.
“Do you… need help, with anything right now? First things first you should probably take a bath.” he looked at you like a lost puppy as he waited for you to say something. You could tell he wasn’t good at this comforting thing, so you figured it best to be blunt.
“I don’t think I Can bathe myself right now.” in reality you knew that was a weird thing to say to your police partner of 3 months, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care right now. You needed someone there otherwise you were afraid you might drown in the tub, or get in and never have the will to get back out. Loki dosent hesitate with his answer.
“Yeah… yeah, I can help.” he slips his jacket off and places it over the back of one of your dining room chairs. You avoided looking at the blood stains on his light blue shirt. You show him to the bathroom, watching as he starts a bath. You stood with your arms and legs apart ever so slightly so they wouldn’t touch your sides or each other. You felt disgusting. You refused to move unless you had to. The feeling of the dried blood cracking with each movement on your skin made you want to faint.
Within the blink of an eye, the bath was full, and clouds of white bubbles floated upon the top of the water, calling you to step in. Loki looked up at you from his crouched position in front of the tub. He opened his mouth to say something, you assumed along the lines of ‘the baths ready’ but you didn’t let him continue. Your movements were swift as you pulled your shirt above your head and slipped out of your pants. You didn’t realize how eager you were to get them off of you. You tossed them into the trashcan that sat beside the toilet. Loki, flustered, turned his head away from you. When you were fully stripped, you turn to take a look at yourself in the mirror above the sink. There was smeared blood across your face where Loki had previously tried to clean you off. It was in your hair, and down your neck, cascading between your breasts and stopping at where your bra previously sat against your skin. You couldn’t look anymore. Slowly, you turned towards the tub and stepped in. Once you had settled, Loki finally pulled his head up to look at you. His brows had been furrowed in this expression of worry and guilt for the past however long it had been since the incident, and somehow you were just now taking note of it. You looked at each other for a long while, but nothing was said. Finally, Loki broke eye contact, grabbed a rag, and dipped it beneath the bath water. He gently took your chin in his free hand, turning your face towards him so he could gingerly wipe your face clean. He dragged the cloth down your neck, and inbetween your breasts, until all the blood was tinting the water instead of your skin. Nothing was said. The two of you seemed to be deep in thought. On a normal day, this interaction would have made you faint. But this wasn’t a normal day. Loki ran soap and water through your hair a few times until the water stopped coming out red, before draining all the water. You watched in a trance as the water and bubbles swirled out of sight. You hardly noticed the fact that Loki had pulled you from the tub and wrapped a towel around your naked shivering frame.
“Hey” Lokis voice was stern this time. You shifted your eyes to look at him. “I need you to look at me. Really, look at me. I can see you replaying what happened over and over. I know, it’s happened to me. It’s easy to get stuck. I want you to get dressed for me, alright? I’ll stay overnight with you.” You don’t think you’ve ever heard him talk for this long unprompted. You were seeing a new side of him.
“Okay. thank you, David.” you give him a firm look before stepping past him and into your room. You knew he was shocked at the use of his first name, But you thought it appropriate for the situation.
Being clean made you feel a lot better. You shook the sight of Bob from your thoughts for the 100th time and quickly threw on the first clothes you grabbed in your pajama drawer, which happened to be a pair of shorts and a police force shirt that was given to you way too many sizes too big. When you walked into the kitchen, things seemed more awkward now. Or maybe you were just more aware. Loki was sitting at your kitchen table, fiddling with one of his rings. He looks up at the sound of your footsteps, a light smile crosses his features. You look away out of embarrassment, remembering he’d seen you completely naked a mere 10 minutes ago.
“You… you really don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” you busy yourself with walking to the cabinets of your kitchen to grab two glasses.
“No, it’s okay. You shouldn’t be alone after going through something like this.” Loki watches as you nod and head over to grab water, though stopping at the small collection of liquor sitting on your counter.
“Water or whiskey?” you ask him, forcing a light smile onto your face at your weak attempt at a joke.
“Guess” is all he said. You poured two glasses of whiskey and sat across from him at the table.
“I would say try to completely forget about it, but when you go back you’re going to be bombarded with questions. If someone dosent show up to your doorstep, that is.”
“Well…” you pause for a while, swirling the liquid and taking a sip before continuing. “I don’t know if im ever going back. I’ll sign whatever papers they need and make a statement but…” you let out a large sigh, not having much else to say.
At this, Lokis head shot up to meet his eyes with yours. They were widened with surprise.
“Are… are you sure?” He was looking at you intently, and this shocked you. He seemed afraid.
“No, i’m not sure. But today was a lot. I need to think for a while. Plus, i don’t think anyone really likes me there anyways” You let out a dry laugh. It was true. Most of the officers there gave you snarky looks, and within the short span youve been there you’ve just about heard it all. The entire department thinks your every move was to impress Loki. You knew they were jealous you got to be his partner considering the rep he has, but it still hurt. Especially since you did find Loki crazily attractive, you tried your best to make it look like you didn’t, but your co workers don’t see it that way. Loki nods, his head dipping back down to stare at the little bit of whiskey left in his glass.
“If it gives you any reconciliation, I enjoy having you as my partner.” You meet eyes again, and you cursed yourself as you felt that agonizing pain of butterflies in your stomach. You give a shy smile to match his and you eye his movements as he downs the rest of his drink. You watch his adams apple bob as he swallows, and immediately force yourself to look anywhere else but at him. You decide to change the subject.
“Sorry I don’t have a guest bedroom, but the couch is very comfortable” you gesture over to the couch that sat in front of a tv that was playing whatever was going on in the news. You knew sooner or later Bob Taylor would show up as one of their stories.
Loki shrugs and gets up to put his glass in the sink. “I’d sleep on the floor if I had to.” he smiles softly at you and kicks his shoes off by the door. You rise to your feet and place your glass in the sink as well, making a mental note to wash them out in the morning if you found the energy to. You grab a blanket and comfortable pillow from the chest in your room and bring them back down to Loki.
“Thank you again for staying.” you look up at him for a few beats, before turning on your heel to head to your room. Loki watched you walk off until you were out of sight.
~
Sleep that night was not so forgiving to you. Though you usually had nightmares, the ones you had tonight were plagued with Bob Taylor. The scene played out in a million different ways. In each one, you tried to save him, but it always ended the same. The sound of his blood splattering against the wall was sickening and bounced around your nightmares seemingly endlessly. What you didn’t know, was that as you dreamt in your bed, you were also screaming.
When you opened your eyes, Lokis face was probably a mere 5 inches from yours. He was half on top of you, shaking your shoulders and holding your arms by your sides to stop your thrashing. You woke up with a half yell half sob as the dream continued to replay in your head.
“Hey, hey!” Lokis harsh tone snapped you out of your trance. “Look at me Y/N” his voice was stern and he kept his firm grasp on your wrists, grounding you and keeping you from reeling back into your thoughts. You were near hyperventilating as you looked up at him helplessly. Tears were flowing down your cheeks, leaving wet spots on the pillow on each side of your head.
“I could have fucking stopped it. I could have been quicker I- I-” another sob chokes the rest of your sentence away. Loki begins to loosen his grip on your wrist, moving his right hand to interlock with yours. He gave you a few firn squeezes, assuring you he was right there for you. You squeeze back as an unspoken ‘thank you’. You sit up to face him in the darkness of your bedroom.
“It was my fault. mine. You didn’t do this, You didn’t cause this. It’s not your fault. say that.” he looks at you for a long while, waiting for you to respond. You could see the hurt in his eyes as he spoke, you could see how much the suicide hurt him just as much as it did you.
“I need you to say that Y/N. It’s not your fault.”
Your lip quivers as you speak.
“It’s not my fault”
Loki nods, and you can’t tell if it’s for you or himself. You were both sitting up on the bed, holding hands ahd whispering to each other in the darkness of the room. You could barely make out his face as the moonlight gently seeped through your curtains, but you could tell he was close. Loki closes his eyes, and presses his forehead against yours. This, somehow, was more intimate than any kiss. Your eyes fluttered closed soon after. For a while, neither of you said anything. It was comfortable silence as you reveled in the feeling of his hand interlocked with yours, your breathing in sync as you rested your forehead against his.
The sounds of your sniffling broke the silence. Loki stared into your eyes for a while, unsure of what else he could possibly say to you.
“I don’t think I would have made it through today without you here.” your voice was so quiet that Loki nearly struggled to hear even with your closeness. He found that good reason to tilt his face even closer, causing your noses to touch ever so slightly.
“I’m sorry” he spoke, and this is when you noticed just how close your lips were.
“You couldn’t have known…” you respond. It’s all your mind could come up with. You didn’t know what else you could say, you knew all too well now how hard it is to truly make someone feel better in a situation like this. Either way, your thoughts became clouded as your lips ever so slightly brushed against his as you spoke.
That seemed to be Lokis breaking point. The next thing you knew you were propping yourself up at the force at which he kissed you. It wasn’t soft or gentle, it was rough, raw. You were sure you tasted blood after your teeth clashed together, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. It was what you needed after the day you both had. His hands were quickly on your body, toned arms pulling you flush against him as he devoured you.
This kiss was different than any you’d had before. You could nearly physically feel the emotion radiating between the two of you. You hardly noticed when Loki pushed you down to your back, head resting on the pillow that was still wet with your tears. He rested inbetween your legs, his hands not roaming but simply pulling you as close as possible to him. You couldn’t gauge how much time had passed, but eventually, the hunger within his kiss seemed to come to a halt. Slowly, your eyes fluttered opened as Loki pulled away. He was still holding you close, but he seemed to have frozen. Your brows furrowed. Did you do something wrong?
“Loki?” your eyes were struggling to make out his facial expression in the dark, but your mind seemed to go over every possibility. Was he mad? Did he change his mind about you?
Suddenly, something dropped onto your cheek. That’s when you realized. He was crying. A small sob, barely audible, escaped his lips as he began to crumble before you. You ran a hand through his hair gently, your heart somehow shattering more than you thought possible as he rested his forehead against your chest, his weight collapsing on top of you.
“Hey. You’re okay, loki. You’re okay.” your voice was merely a whisper as you held his shaking frame.
“What if I can’t find them?” his voice was small and muffled as he spoke into your shirt. Your mind instantly went to the two missing girls that the entire town of Conyers seemed to be relying on your department to find. You felt hopeless. With Your only lead being dead, you were stuck.
“You will. We will. We’ll find them.” you didn’t know if this was more for Loki or yourself.
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bitchinbarzal ¡ 2 years ago
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Okay but like can we please get the part two of Mat and Mama’s fight 🥺 that broke my heart
Mat had been riddled with guilt all day long. After practice when he’d returned home to relieve Lola, your nanny of her duties with the kids.
Ivy hadn’t said much to him, silently avoiding him.
When he put Ryder down for his afternoon nap he found Ivy sitting in the living room watching Bluey on the tv.
“Hey Princess”
She looks up at him from her pile of blankets, clutching her Sparky stuffed teddy
“Hi daddy” she mumbles, her eyes never leave the screen.
He sits next to her, arm draped over the back of the couch.
“You wanna talk about what’s going on in that lil head of yours?” Mat asks, poking her head which pulls a giggle from Ivy.
She looks up at him, your eyes looking back at him as she asked “Are you and mommy not love each other anymore?”
Mat’s heart broke and he let out a shaky breath “Of course not baby, I love mommy so much”
“Why do you shout then?”
“I don’t know princess… I guess I’m just upset with mommy sometimes and that’s ok! You get upset with Ry sometimes, right?” He nudges her and she shrugs
“I guess”
“Well sometimes me and mommy get mad at one another but that doesn’t mean I don’t love her” he explains and Ivy hums in response
“I love your mommy so much ives, no matter what! Momma could be so mad at me and I’m still gonna love her so so much because she’s my best friend in the whole wide world”
The little girls head quirks to the side “she’s your best friend? I thought that was uncle Tito?”
Mat’s head shakes “Mama’s my best friend forever”
Ivy seems satisfied with his answer and goes back to her show.
That night there’s a game at the rock so you won’t be home until late. The kids don’t typically go to devils games unless one of the wives or girlfriends take them, it’s a somewhat established rule that Mathew should not attend Devils games as it can be seen as disrespectful to the islanders organization.
So it was a pleasant surprise to Ivy when Mat tells her to get ready after dinner, both kids are dressed in a devils jersey with their last name on it and the number 13.
Ryder’s in a carrier on Mathew’s chest while he sits in the stands next to a very excited Ivy who keeps telling everyone “My mommy’s on the bench! She’s a doctor!”
And “I know them! That’s my uncle Nico!”
There were a few confused and excited hockey fans when they saw him. The in house event team were having a field day once the puck dropped.
The jumbotron panned over to your family at one point and you were too busy watching the game so Nathan shouted
“Hey Barzal! Tell ivy we love the support!”
You frown until Jesper points you up to the jumbo tron. There is Mat, Ivy and Ryder all smiling and Ivy’s holding a sign that says
Go Devils, Go! + Mommy!
You smile and shake your head “That family of mine”
Once the game ends you make your way to the medical room to see to those boys choosing to come down who ends up being Vitek, Jesper and Nico.
“I saw the kids out there tonight” Nico mumbles while you do stretches on his leg.
You smile “Yeah i saw them on the jumbotron, Mat must’ve brought them — I told them to go home Ry would’ve been asleep second period and Ivy looked like she was so close to sleep”
It’s late by the time you get home, the light in your bedroom is the only one on. You shrug off your coat and take off your shoes before tiptoeing up to Ivy’s room and kissing her sleeping head then into Ryder’s room to do the same.
By the time you enter your bedroom Mat is sitting up in bed waiting for you. You don’t say anything, slipping into the bathroom to shower and changing into your pyjamas.
Once you’re finished and re-enter your bedroom Mathew is still sitting there just looking at you.
“What’re you staring at?” You question, slipping in under the sheets.
Mat smiles “My beautiful wife”
You Huff “If that’s your way of apologizing, it’s shitty”
He frowns, pulling your hand into his and angling his body towards you
“You’re my best friend, I love you and I’m sorry”
His words, while not long were heavy and you knew he meant them.
You don’t respond, he doesn’t need a reply. Instead you let go of his hand and shimmy down so your head is rested on the pillow, Mat does the same.
You’re both facing one another and he leans over to kiss you slow, your emotions pour into the simple kiss.
Every ounce of anger, sadness, lust and happiness poured into each other. Mat’s hand gripped the back of your thigh and urged you to flip on top of him, straddling his waist.
Once the two of you pulled away, giggling like school children You mumbled “Thank You for bringing them tonight, it meant the world to me”
“Lou’s definitely gonna kick my ass tomorrow, but it’s worth it — you’re worth it baby”
“I love you, mat”
“I love you, angel”
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xoxo-sarah ¡ 1 year ago
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I Wanna Be Yours || Part 5
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Part 4 | part 6
↝a/n: I don't want to hear a single thing about the French being wrong. I had to use Google so blame it. Anyway, sorry this is late, been very busy and been stressing.
↝pairing: Robin Buckley x fem!Wheeler!reader
↝ Warning: slightly proofread. Possible spoilers, Canon events, Google translated French, pinning
↝⎙ 8.12.23
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Robin couldn't help but admire you as you caught your breath.
Writing a decent essay in French wasn't going to be easy, which is why this is the 3rd day in a row Robin had invited you over after school to finish the partnered project.
To be honest, the essay was long forgotten. You two were just going through phrases in French at this point. Well, Robin was teaching you more French. You just couldn't wrap your head around it, no matter how hard you tried.
After you were paying so much attention to her mouth and the way it moved, you couldn't help but find it hilarious, and in turn, Robin began laughing too.
It was probably around 9 by now, and you two had barely any of the paper done, but you kept wanting to hear her talk. For educational purposes, obviously.
“tu es belle.” (you're beautiful) Robin wasn't worried about you knowing what she was saying. It honestly felt freeing to be able to admit things openly, with you not knowing what it was she was saying.
She adored how you looked at her so confused, with your eyebrows furrowed. Her hand was practically shaking from not being able to lean forward and wipe the wrinkled skin away.
“tu es magnifique aujourd'hui" (you look beautiful today) She kept teasing you.
“Are you going to tell me what you're saying?”
“No, I don't think I will.”
You smiled, basking in how comfortable you felt around her at that moment. You wish it could stay like this. Neither of you broke eye contact as she continued, “Tes yeux brillent si joliment aujourd'hui. Le ciel nocturne devrait être jaloux.” (Your eyes are shining so beautifully today. The night sky should be jealous.)
“I should probably pay more attention in class.” You chuckled, looking down at your lap, fiddling with the cover of the notebook. Robin was back to admiring you and your blushing cheeks.
“You're cute.” Robin's smile dropped; her whole being scared of what she just said… out loud…to the person she'd fancied for what felt like forever. She wanted to disappear right then and there.
“What?” You glanced up from your notebook, still smiling- as if you hadn't heard what she had said.
“I said you look like a fruit.” Pushing away the feeling of wanting to kick herself for her stupidity on the situation, the choice of words had her internally spiraling. What kind of answer was that? You certainly do not look anything like a fruit.
“That doesn't even make sense.”
“Well I'm sleep-deprived.” She pulled her blanket closer to her, wrapping it around her body to find any comfort. “And it's tu ressembles à un fruit.”
After a moment, you nodded, before standing up and gathering your stuff. “It's getting late.”
“Yeah-yeah, uh,” She flung the blanket off, standing to help you gather everything sprawled across her bed and floor. “I guess we lost track of time.”
“Yeah.” Flinging your backpack over your shoulder, you pointed at her door. “I can show myself out. You need to be getting ready for bed-wouldn't want to keep you up any later.”
“A-alright. Yeah, bye. Be careful.” She stayed standing in that spot even after you closed her bedroom door.
She was not sleeping tonight; she already knew that much. She'd stay up all night thinking about you. And how you looked when you smiled or laughed. A joyous sight and sound, really.
Your leg shook from nerves.
“Can you stop? You're shaking the car.” Nancy glared at you from the rearview mirror.
Digging your nails into your thigh, you stopped them from shaking anymore. “Sorry.”
Robin glanced back, noting your nervousness. “It's going to be okay.” Her voice was barely over a whisper.
“What if it's not? Two of our friends have already died because of this Vecna creep. We have no way to contact Mike or any of the Byers. What if something is happening up there too? I mean, they should've called by now. Mike promised he would call when he got up there-”
“We haven't been home, y/n.”
“I was! He didn't call all yesterday.”
“He's having fun with his friend and girlfriend. Calm down.”
Robin's eyes went back and forth between you and Nance. You were usually calm, or made it seem that way. Ever since you woke up in a frenzy, you had seemed on edge.
“What if he's not?” You whispered one last time, as Nancy pulled up to the school.
“We don't have time to think about that right now. Come on.”
"It was here. Right here.” Max was almost hysterical as she kept repeating the same thing over and over since you ran into the school. She kept talking about a grandfather clock in the wall.
If you were anyone else, you would be calling her crazy, maybe even making a phone call to the nearest psych ward.
“A grandfather clock?” Nancy almost seemed bored as she asked.
“It was so real and then, when I got closer, suddenly I just… I woke up.”
“It was like she was in a trance or something.” Dusting spoke, “Exactly like Eddie said happened to Chrissy.” A cold hill went down your spine, causing goosebumps to make your arm hair stand up. Folding your arms over your chest, you continued to pay attention.
Max turned around. “That's not even the bad part.”
"Fred and Chrissy, they both came to Miss Kelley for help.” You looked at the files on the desk. “Uh, they both were having headaches-bad headaches that wouldn't go away. And then-then the nightmares. Trouble sleeping. They'd wake up in a cold sweat. And then they started seeing things. Bad things…from their past.” The desk slowly creaked as you leaned against it, giving Max your full attention. “And these visions-- they just kept getting worse and worse, until eventually…everything ended.” Your eyes shot down to the ground.
What were you to do about all of this? This is too much for this group that consisted of teens and young adults. Before, you had El. But now, she was in California, without any powers.
Robin's voice broke you out of your thoughts that were running a mile a second. “Vecna's curse.”
“Chrissy's headache started a week ago.”
“She kept asking for medicine almost every time I saw her.” She had taken nearly 2/3 of your medicine on your side table.
“Fred's started 6 days ago.” The blood from you biting your lip tasted salty and like metal. “I've been having them for 5 days.”
The air in the room became stale, almost like the air fell flat. “I don't know how long I have. All I know is that, for Fred and Chrissy, they both died less than 24 hours after their first vision. And I just saw that goddamn clock, so,” Max's breath became uneven, “Looks like I'm gonna die tomorrow.”
A loud click made you jump and turned to where the sound came from.
“Stay here.” Steve looked at you guys, before walking towards the door. Before he opened it, he grabbed the lamp.
Not listening, you all stood and walked after him, through the dark school halls.
You could hear his uneven breathing from where you were. Or maybe that was you. You couldn't really tell at this point.
The sound continued as you walked behind Steve. It clattered, almost sounding like rapid running.
It grew louder until something came around the corner. Everyone screamed, Steve held the lamp up, going to strike, as your arms went up in the air, flashlight clattering to the floor as you turned on your heels, going to grab the nearest person. No matter how much you tried to move, your feet stayed in place, causing you to double over and fall onto your knees, bringing the person with you.
“It's me!”
“Lucas?!”
“It's me!” Lucas looked as if he were about to cry. You would too if you had nearly gotten beaten to death by a lamp.
“Holy shit!” You fell back onto your butt, facing the scene.
“Jesus!” Steve yelled, bringing the lamp back down to his side. “What is wrong with you, Sinclair?!”
Lucas tried to catch his breath with his hands on his hips, nearly doubling over. "I'm sorry."
Robin, who you had taken down with you, stood and held her hand out to help you up. You held up your finger, “I need a second.” You might've peed yourself a little.
“I could've taken you out with this lamp!” Steve shook the lamp in his grip, furious.
“Sorry, guys.” Lucas continued to pant, “Sorry. I was… I was biking for eight miles.”
Grabbing Robin's hand, you let her pull you up.
“Give me a second. Shit.” Lucas continued to pant through his words, “We've got a code red.”
“What?”
“Dustin,” He walked forward, “I've been with Jason, Patrick, and Andy, and they've gone, like, totally off the rails. They're trying to capture Eddie, and they think you know where he is.” He spoke as fast as he could, while also trying to breathe. “You're in terrible danger.”
“Alright. Yeah, that definitely sucks, but we've got bigger problems than Jason right now.” Dustin looked back and Max, Lucas following him.
After Nancy and Robin came up with the plan about being Ruth and Rose, your leg went back to shaking, and your teeth went back to biting into your lip, taking chunks out.
While everyone was getting a bit of shut-eye last night, you were wide awake. There wasn't really a thought that took up more space in your head than the other 10 thousand. Every time you tried to shut your eyes, Chrissy's face was painted on the back of your eyelids. Occasionally, you could hear her screams when you tried to tune out Steve's snoring. Max hadn't gone to bed, she stayed sitting at the desk, writing. What, you hadn't gotten a clue.
Currently, Steve was following Nancy after he had been stuck on babysitting duty yet again.
“Nancy, you're outta your mind if you think I'm babysitting again.” Coming out of your room, you pulled the new, clean clothes closer to your body and walked after him into her room.
“Okay, first of all, they're not babies anymore. And Max is in real danger.”
Steve scoffed at her as you plopped on her bed, wrinkling her made bed.
“She needs people around her.”
“I know. But why does it always have to be me?”
“Y/n is here too.” Nancy reminded, pointing at you.
“Oh my god, you have a Tom Cruise poster.” Robin walked into the room, going straight for the poster and side table. “You have a Tom Cruise poster.” She turned and smirked at Nancy, who was going through her closet.
“That's…old. It's just…"
Robin laughed before digging into the table,
“Can you please not touch anything?”
You leaned over, looking at whatever Robin was going through.
“I just- I can't do anything here, Nance. Maybe I can be helpful with this asylum director dude. I dunno. I could turn on my…my charm.”
“Not the charm we need.”
“Ouch.”
“No, I just,” Nancy sighed, stepping away from the closet. You followed Robin with your eyes as she stood and moved to the dresser. “I did a little digging last night, and it turns out this Dr. Hatch is a distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and a Harvard visiting scholar, okay? This is a lifelong student of the world. If we're going to win him over, we're gonna have to convince him we are too.”
Robin opened the music box that laid on top of the dresser, music softly played as Nancy continued to talk, softening the blow. “That, like him, we are true academic scholars.”
“Holy shit.” Robin whispered, turning around to show the music box. “There's a little ballerina in here.” She bit her lip.
Looking away, you tried to hide the pink on your cheeks. She was so cute.
Steve began nodding his head, turning back to Nancy. “Academic scholar. She's giving you an academic scholar vibe? Yeah.”
Rolling her eyes, Robin closed the box, putting it back.
“No, but…” Robin scoffed, turning around. “She will.”
Nance held up a pink dress.
“Oh, please tell me that you're joking.”
"They're not answering.”
Sighing, you slammed the phone back into the wall.
“They're probably out.”
“You said that for the last 4 calls. It's been over an hour.”
Dustin walked over, “Y/n, Mike is most likely out having fun with El and Will. Please, calm down.”
“Yeah,” Sighing again, you plopped back into the couch, "Yeah, you're probably right."
Tumblr media
•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•
• My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [!I don't give permission!]
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tasteofdeathao3 ¡ 2 years ago
Text
ficlet in reference to this old post of mine regarding Izzy being an absoutely feral iPad kid
It’s late when Ed is disturbed by a heavy thump from down the hall. 
It had been an early morning and a late night - they’d promised to take Izzy to the farmers markets (which he’d barely enjoyed after slipping about 15 minutes after they arrived) and then had a long work event for Stede’s work (Izzy was old enough to decide he wanted to stay home alone without a babysitter, on the condition he called them the second he felt any smaller). 
Suffice to say, Ed is fucking tired. 
He rolls over onto his pillow, eyes finally slipping shut, and then the door goes. 
He can hear Stede puttering about with the broken dishwasher downstairs, so he knows it isn’t him, but Izzy was sent to bed an hour ago so the chance of him having had a nightmare was a lot higher. 
With a barely concealed groan he rolls over, swiping at his eyes. “You okay, baby?” 
When he finally gets a good look at him, Ed’s stomach drops. Izzy is pale, skin awash with a gaunt white colour and his eyes stretched wide open. His hair is mussed and sticking up in all directions. His knees and hands are trembling and his chest is rising and falling at such an impressive rate that Ed is surprised he hasn’t passed out yet. 
“Izzy,” He murmurs, tossing off the duvet and stepping out into the cool bedroom air. “What’s wrong?” 
Ed knows Izzy gets nightmares. Things haven't always been… great. Ed gets them often enough, but that stress and fear is always lessened by tucking himself into Stede’s side. Izzy's are less frequent, but he knows they’re far worse than any of Ed’s. 
It’s only been a few months since Izzy moved in full time, but even Ed knows he should've had a nightmare by now, so why wasn't he coming around? 
Izzy doesn't move when addressed. His hands are bound tight in the thin fabric of his onesie, but that doesn't stop them from trembling like mad. He swallows thickly, eyes darting around the room at incredible speed. 
“Hey, baby,” Ed coos as he takes cool and calm steps towards Izzy. “Wanna tell me what happened?”
Izzy shakes his head. His lip is being bit so hard that Ed worries it might just begin to bleed. 
“Can I touch you?” When Izzy nods, Ed sets his hands on his shoulders and slides them down until Izzy’s hands are stopped from trembled in his grasp. “Did you have a nightmare?” He asks softly. 
Izzy shakes his head again. 
Ed frowns. That’s unusual. Izzy doesn’t freak out over nothing. 
“What’s got you so scared, little swallow?” 
Izzy, when grown, is very hard to get any sort of reaction out of. He has an impeccable poker face, and knows all of his own tells well enough to keep them hidden. Tiny Izzy? Not so much. 
The way Izzy’s eyes flit to the ground is practically an admission of guilt in itself. Ed sighs. 
“Did you do something?”
Izzy hesitates, then shakes his head. He seems to consider it again before he nods rapidly instead. 
“You did?” Izzy nods faster. “What did you do?” 
Izzy’s watery eyes look up to meet his own and Ed frowns. 
“Did you break something?” 
Izzy shakes his head - inwardly, Ed is relieved. He doesn’t feel like sweeping up the remains of another light fitting when he’s this tired. 
“Did you hurt yourself?”  Thankfully, Izzy shakes his head again. 
Ed sighs. “Can you tell me what you’ve done?” 
Izzy shakes his head like Ed’s suggested something appalling. “Angry.” He whispers, barely opening his lips. 
Ed holds back a deep groan. “I won’t be angry, I promise.” Izzy’s eyes are shiny with tears and an innate sense of distrust. “I just need to know what happened, okay? Because it’s my job to take care of you.”
“Don’t hit.” Izzy’s eyes are large and shiny, his lip wobbling and his nose already running.
“Oh, oh, baby, I will never hit you. You know that. My job is to look after you, and if I hurt you then I’m not taking care of you, am I?”
Izzy hiccups as a new wave of tears tumble down his cheeks, and Ed coos softly, pulling Izzy into his arms. 
Ed knows Izzy well, probably better than anyone else they’ve ever met. If someone were to ask him the rule Izzy breaks most often (and seems to enjoy doing it), it would be Tablet Time. Ed rolls his eyes. He knows for a fact that neither he or Stede had checked that the iPad in its hot pink shatterproof case had been put back in it’s charging dock, and neither had set a lock on it to prevent Izzy using it for the several hours they were out. 
“Does this have something to do with your iPad?” Izzy stays carefully still in his arms, neither nodding nor shaking his head. That’s enough of an answer of Ed. 
“Did you watch something scary?” Izzy nods meekly into his shirt. “Why would you watch something scary right before bed, birdy?”
Izzy shakes his head. “D-didn’t know.” He hiccups, gulping down big breaths of air. 
“Ohh, you thought it was something safe, didn’t you?” Izzy wails into Ed’s chest, nodding. A part of Ed does feel quite bad for Izzy, even if he did bring this on himself. 
“Do you wanna show Baba the video?”
Izzy whines. 
“Just so I can see what happened, okay? Maybe I can make it better.” 
Izzy shakes his head again, fists tightening in Ed’s shirt. He really is quite upset, so Ed does what he must and hikes Izzy up into the air and pads back down the hallway. Izzy fights him the entire time, wriggling around above the ground, but Ed keeps him still with promises of no punishment to come and a steady pat on his lower back. 
“Where’s your iPad, Iz?” Ed asks. ‘
Izzy shakes his head and Ed sighs again. “I’m not going to take it from you, you’re not getting grounded, I just want to see what you saw.” 
Izzy groans but he does finally point - under the bed. 
“What were you doing under the bed?” Ed sighs, setting Izzy gently on the floor and diving between the very thin gap between Izzy’s bed and the floor. He hadn’t minded when Stede chose a low to the ground option for Izzy - for him it was either as high off the ground and possible or as close to it when it came to being small - but Ed is already sick of this bed. How did Izzy even get underneath this? He has half a mind to make Stede buy one that’s flush to the floor.
He manages  to grab the thing by the case’s handle, kicked all the way into the far corner under the bed. 
“How didn’t you get stuck under there?” Ed gasps upon pulling himself out, but instead of the little giggle he’d been aiming for, Izzy frowns and rubs at his head. 
Ed’s face falls. “Did you hit your head?” Izzy nods as his eyes flood all over again, bottom lip wobbling like mad. “Oh, my poor little swallow, come here.” He pulls Izzy back into his lap and smoothes over his hair, pressing a litter of soft kisses over the crown of his head. “Do you need an ice pack?” 
Izzy shakes his head no, but Ed gives him a few more kisses anyway.
Once he gets the tablet and finally gets it open (they would have to change the passcode yet again) he tucks Izzy’s head under his chin and pets his hair, still damp from his bedtime shower. 
The video looks pretty inconspicuous, just a collection of ‘best moments’ from some colourful cartoon that Ed can’t remember the name of for the life of him, but as he scrolls along he finds what he’s been looking for. It’s scary, he’ll admit it, enough to make him jump were he not trying to console Izzy already. Some very realistic looking zombie ghost thing that talks in a very low and spooky voice about a curse and something about visiting under the bed every night at 3 am… He rolls his eyes at the special effects, but holds Izzy even tighter when he stiffens at the sound of the voice. 
“That’s a scary video, isn’t it?” Ed whispers into Izzy’s ear, setting the ipad down and rocking him side to side. He’ll block the channel in the morning, but for now he needs to focus on Izzy. 
Izzy whimpers into his collarbone and wriggles even further onto Ed’s lap. 
“Lucky for you,” Ed grins, “I know how to fix it.” 
He scoops Izzy back up again - no easy feat without his knee brace - and ferries him downstairs, striding into the kitchen and hurrying to set him down before his arms give out. 
“Can you watch him for a second?” He asks Stede, who’s still half buried inside the leaking dishwasher. “I need to take a call.” 
Stede pokes his head out of the dishwasher, glancing at Izzy up on the counter before eyeing Ed curiously. “What’s he doing up?” 
“Saw another jumpscare.” He says, watching fondly as Stede rolls his eyes.
“Taking a call!” He exclaims, reaching for the landline on the wall - never used aside from the occasional telemarketer - and pressing a random selection of buttons. 
“Hello, Mister Buttons?” He says loudly, watching out of the corner of his eye as Izzy perks up at the name. 
“Yes, yes, I’m just calling about a curse!” He nods, leaving gaps between his sentences  as if someone is speaking between them. “It’s Izzy, Izzy’s been cursed!” 
“Uh huh. Yes. Oh, yes. No. I can definitely do that. And it only takes one try?” He glances back over to Izzy, listening intently. “Well thank you, Mister Buttons, for helping me with breaking the curse, thank you!” He hangs the phone back on its rest and turns around to face Izzy. 
“Good news!” He exclaims, reaching across to play with Izzy’s soft, unstyled hair. “I know how to break the curse!” 
Stede gives Ed another confused look. “What curse?” 
Ed brushes him off with a look that means later, and hugs Izzy close to his chest. “The way to break the curse,” He whispers conspiratorially  into Izzy’s ear, “Is to cuddle up close with your special teddy and come to bed with me and Mama.” 
Izzy gives him a funny look. 
“I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you about something as important as this.” Ed squeezes Izzy tight against his chest. “Being with people that love you very much will keep you safe, yeah? And Buttons said being with people that love you will make everything okay, alright?” 
Somewhat reluctantly, Izzy lets Ed step back and Ed takes the opportunity to nudge Stede. “You heard the man,” He says, “Time for bed. It’s our duty.” 
Stede grumbles - he had wanted to fix the dishwasher, even if everyone in the house knew he was incapable, but he stands anyway and makes his way over to Izzy. 
“Poor precious darling,” He coos, petting Izzy’s hair. “Come, my love, time for bed.” 
Ed lets Stede carry Izzy; he’s perfectly capable of doing it himself, but Stede somehow maintains an impressive amount of strength that allows him to hold Izzy in his arms for upwards of twenty minutes without a single strained muscle. Instead, he ducks into Izzy’s room and digs around the messy bedding for his teddy, a worn but thoroughly loved stuffed whale. 
When he returns to his and Stede’s room, Stede is already laying Izzy out in the middle of their bed. “You must’ve gotten such a fright, little sweetheart,” He coos, kissing Izzy’s forehead. “Are you wet?” 
Izzy shakes his head and Stede leaves it at that, quickly tugging off his very damp formal clothes and replacing it with one of his expensive pyjama sets. 
Ed climbs in and wriggles until he’s right up against Izzy, wrapping his arms tight around his shoulders. “Look who I brought!” He whispers, tucking the whale into Izzy’s arms. Izzy gasps softly and holds the little whale close, pressing his face into it’s plush belly. 
“Thank you.” He mumbles, muffled by the soft toy. 
“It’s okay, bub.” he says softly. “Time for sleep now, okay, little man?” 
Izzy nods, eyes fluttering closed as Stede slips into bed behind him and cuddles him up close. 
Ed sighs into Izzy’s hair, utterly exhausted. It’s sure to be a late morning for all of them, but that’s fine. All will be right in the morning.
57 notes ¡ View notes
findroleplay ¡ 2 years ago
Note
Searching for discord writing partners that would be willing to be long term and can write varying reply lengths. I typically try to stick to 2-3 but can do more or 1-2 depending on the day. Having someone able to roll with that to keep the muses and story alive would be fantastic. I cannot always be active every day but try to be around for at least a check in. Please keep that in mind if interested.
Details:21+, with a preference for 25+ writers, as mun is 29+ but under 33. All muses will be 21+ as well. Okay with darker themes🕊, along with spicy writings🌶, given the nature of the plots I am looking for. Looking for a balance of spice and plot. Tupperbox use is a must. Doubling/multiple threads is not a necessity but would be nice. I like playing both dominant and more submissive roles so the chance to stretch those muscles is appreciated.
Kinks and such can be discussed over Tumblr before discord information is exchanged. I'm friendly and easy going so it's all good if you decide that the idea just isn't for you and wanna drop after we do some chatting.
Onto the ideas! 🔪🔪
Basically, I'm looking for some slasher fans out there! I put the movies beside the ideas but fandoms for these ideas: Rob Zombie's Halloween, My Blood Valentine 3D, Leatherface, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Dead by Daylight. I am also comfortable with Scream (OG Ghostface), House of Wax, and Friday the 13th series.
Michael Myers (Rob Zombies Halloween): (potential omegaverse dynamics to be used here) Michael ends up taking interest in a nurse that cares for him in his late teens and very early twenties. She shows a healthy amount of respect, knowing what he can do, but doesn't treat him like a monster. She compliments his artistic ability, brings him supplies even when the facility won't provide, a stark difference from how everyone else treats him. It's for that reason alone that he doesn't kill her. He doesn't understand it, of course, but decides he will keep her so she can do for him what he can't. **Willing to play either role here but leaning towards the female OC
Tom Hanniger/Harry Warden against any OC. Takes place after the events of the movie (My Bloody Valentine 3D), in which the OC knows Tom, knows his history, and the trauma he has been through. They have an idea of who he has turned into, what he is capable of but still takes him in, and offers him shelter while he is on the run. Perhaps they think he is redeemable even when he is not or perhaps they had an unrequited love for him that they feel they can now fulfill because something can be offered that couldn't be before, making the OC a little twisted in their own right. **Would like to play Tom in this instance against someone's OC.
Other potential pairings without much idea but open to hearing thoughts:
Either Jedidiah Sawyer/Leatherface from Leatherface or Thomas Brown Hewitt from Texas Chainsaw Massacre:The Beginning against a female OC of mine. Perhaps for Jedidiah/Jackson is someone who is at the Gorman House with him, a close bond formed between them. For Thomas, perhaps a childhood friend or someone who moves to town before the carnage begins and how's him some empathy and compassion, leaving her as not only a potential captive but love interest.
Dead by Daylight: I can play either Evan MacMillan or Frank Morrison against anyone, preferable OC characters.
Sum of characters I want to write: Tom Hanniger, Evan MacMillan, Frank Morrison, Michael Myers
Sum of characters I want to write against: Michael Myers, Jedidiah Sawyer, Thomas Brown Hewitt
Interact with the post (reblog, comment, like) and I'll reach out to you. *Note: I will not be reaching out to blank blogs or blogs with no age range (don't need exact) in their bios or pinned posts.
_
4 notes ¡ View notes
darkdoverpseeker ¡ 2 years ago
Note
Searching for discord writing partners that would be willing to be long term and can write varying reply lengths. I typically try to stick to 2-3 but can do more or 1-2 depending on the day. Having someone able to roll with that to keep the muses and story alive would be fantastic. I cannot always be active every day but try to be around for at least a check in. Please keep that in mind if interested.
Details:21+, with a preference for 25+ writers, as mun is 29+ but under 33. All muses will be 21+ as well. Okay with darker themes🕊, along with spicy writings🌶, given the nature of the plots I am looking for. Looking for a balance of spice and plot. Tupperbox use is a must. Doubling/multiple threads is not a necessity but would be nice. I like playing both dominant and more submissive roles so the chance to stretch those muscles is appreciated.
Kinks and such can be discussed over Tumblr before discord information is exchanged. I'm friendly and easy going so it's all good if you decide that the idea just isn't for you and wanna drop after we do some chatting.
Onto the ideas! 🔪🔪
Basically, I'm looking for some slasher fans out there! I put the movies beside the ideas but fandoms for these ideas: Rob Zombie's Halloween, My Blood Valentine 3D, Leatherface, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Dead by Daylight. I am also comfortable with Scream (OG Ghostface), House of Wax, and Friday the 13th series.
Michael Myers (Rob Zombies Halloween): (potential omegaverse dynamics to be used here) Michael ends up taking interest in a nurse that cares for him in his late teens and very early twenties. She shows a healthy amount of respect, knowing what he can do, but doesn't treat him like a monster. She compliments his artistic ability, brings him supplies even when the facility won't provide, a stark difference from how everyone else treats him. It's for that reason alone that he doesn't kill her. He doesn't understand it, of course, but decides he will keep her so she can do for him what he can't. **Willing to play either role here but leaning towards the female OC
Tom Hanniger/Harry Warden against any OC. Takes place after the events of the movie (My Bloody Valentine 3D), in which the OC knows Tom, knows his history, and the trauma he has been through. They have an idea of who he has turned into, what he is capable of but still takes him in, and offers him shelter while he is on the run. Perhaps they think he is redeemable even when he is not or perhaps they had an unrequited love for him that they feel they can now fulfill because something can be offered that couldn't be before, making the OC a little twisted in their own right. **Would like to play Tom in this instance against someone's OC.
Other potential pairings without much idea but open to hearing thoughts:
Either Jedidiah Sawyer/Leatherface from Leatherface or Thomas Brown Hewitt from Texas Chainsaw Massacre:The Beginning against a female OC of mine. Perhaps for Jedidiah/Jackson is someone who is at the Gorman House with him, a close bond formed between them. For Thomas, perhaps a childhood friend or someone who moves to town before the carnage begins and how's him some empathy and compassion, leaving her as not only a potential captive but love interest.
Dead by Daylight: I can play either Evan MacMillan or Frank Morrison against anyone, preferable OC characters.
Sum of characters I want to write: Tom Hanniger, Evan MacMillan, Frank Morrison, Michael Myers
Sum of characters I want to write against: Michael Myers, Jedidiah Sawyer, Thomas Brown Hewitt
Interact with the post (reblog, comment, like) and I'll reach out to you.
interact if interested!
5 notes ¡ View notes
rnelodyy ¡ 3 years ago
Text
c!Dream and the rules
(/dsmp /rp, all names refer to characters, not content creators)
I think one of the most striking parts of Exile is something that I rarely see talked about, and it’s Dream’s rules. Or rather, how his rules were made to be used as justification to hurt Tommy.
The thing about exile is that, outside of the initial rule of “Don’t go back to L’Manburg”, Dream never told Tommy the rules, yet constantly operated under the assumption that Tommy already knew them, and had accepted them. The rules also changed constantly, without Tommy ever being notified until he was already in trouble.
The second time Dream told Tommy to put his armor in the hole, he didn’t tell Tommy to do that right away. Instead, the conversation went like this (slightly edited to remove stammering and unrelated dialogue).
Dream: Do you have, uh… something you wanna put on the floor here? Tommy: Yes. (drops two pieces of red concrete as Dream digs a hole) Dre-eam! You’re evil. You’re evil. Dream: Anything else, Tommy? Tommy: Nope! Dream: Oh c’mon, I know there’s something else you wanna drop down here. Tommy: (panicking slightly) No, there… (messages BBH “take this and run”, throws him the disc BBH had gifted him earlier) Um… I don’t reckon there is! (pause) Dream: Okay, are you suuuure? Tommy: YES. Dream: Alright… How ‘bout your armor, Tommy? Tommy: Well, no, this is- I actually earned this myself. Dream: I know you did! Tommy: Leave me alone. Dream: Just drop it in the hole, Tommy. Tommy: Wh- no, NO, you can’t just come and demand things from me! I’ve been exiled, I’ve done your shit, what do you mean?! Dream: (sing-song) Tommy… Tommy: What? (Dream hits Tommy with his axe, taking over half his health) Tommy: (screams, drops his armor) OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY!
The only rule Tommy was aware of at this time was that he wasn’t allowed to go back to L’Manburg. Dream had taken his armor the night before, but there was no indication that he expected Tommy to do this constantly. Taking his armor upon initially arriving at Logstedshire made some kind of sense, allowing Tommy to keep it would run the risk of him trying to fight his way back into L’Manburg. Taking his new, very shitty armor (seriously it was an iron chestplate and a pair of golden leggings he got from a ruined portal chest) made no sense at all, so the fact that Tommy was confused and refused to cooperate at first isn’t unexpected in the slightest.
And the thing is… Dream was aware of this fact. Throughout the conversation, he never really sounded annoyed, and was actively teasing Tommy at times. This isn’t a good thing btw, it’s a sign that he was fully aware that Tommy didn’t know what he wanted from him, and that that would create a situation where Dream could “put him in his place” as it were.
If you’re a parent, and your kid does something that’s not allowed, without knowing it’s not allowed, you don’t start off with a beating. You sit them down, calmly explain the rules to them and explain why those rules are there, then send them on their way with the knowledge that they shouldn't do it again.
This interaction wasn’t an instance of Tommy acting out and Dream correcting him. This interaction was a trap. Dream set Tommy up to fail by not telling him the rules beforehand, and when Tommy offered even the slightest bit of resistance and asked why he needed to drop his armor, Dream jumped straight to beating him. It’s a powerplay, plain and simple.
This is demonstrated again with the destruction of Logstedshire. Dream got pissed that Tommy disobeyed him by having hidden chests with gear under his house, and retaliated by destroying everything Tommy had built, destroying every item he’d collected, killing his pet and only foodsource, barring him from the Nether, banning everyone except himself from visiting, and telling him to start over from scratch after a whole lecture about how Tommy betrayed him.
Again, I wanna point out some specific lines from this lecture that illustrate my point very well.
Dream: You were lying to me! You were lying to me. Tommy: No- Why was I lying?! Dream: What do you mean, why were you lying?! Tommy: I wasn’t hi- I wasn’t- Dream: You hid things in a chest knowing they were things I wouldn’t want you to have! And you hid it in a way that way I would never find it!
Except Tommy didn’t know that. The contents of the stash were all items that Tommy had obtained previously without any issue (diamonds, emeralds, iron, ender pearls, some pickaxes, and some purely sentimental items like flowers, a jukebox, and pictures of Tubbo and L’Manburg). In fact, the vast majority of them came from Tommy’s aboveground storage, which Dream had full access to, and had looked through before!
Dream also never said Tommy wasn’t allowed to hide stuff, and there was nothing to suggest he didn’t want Tommy to keep secrets from him.
There’s been a theory floating around for a while that Dream knew about Tommy’s item stash beforehand, since it was a very strange place to dig a hole (like, right in front of the house in the center of Logstedshire itself, instead of out in the plains where the TNT wouldn’t damage any structures), and Tommy had previously forgotten to cover up the entrance ladder. While Dream hadn’t looked inside the house, he would’ve definitely heard Tommy place the block back.
If this theory is correct, then this was yet another trap. Dream knew Tommy had a hidden room, and instead of just saying “hey, I don’t want you to have a hidden stash, go put this back and fill in the room” (which would’ve still been bullshit btw), he went COMPLETELY ballistic, destroyed EVERYTHING Tommy had, and while doing it, kept admonishing Tommy for betraying him, said shit like “I thought we were friends”, and even accused him of preparing to attack Dream. Again, a powerplay.
Hell, even the exile conflict itself is this! Tommy was exiled for griefing the king’s property while being a high-ranking official in L’Manburg. Except Fundy, the then-president’s son, CONSTANTLY griefed Eret’s shit after the L’Manburg war, ranging from ripping down one of their towers to “shrink” it, filling another tower with water, and multiple elaborate plots to steal the throne from under their nose. But apparently, between all of that shit and the exile-conflict, the rules were silently changed, meaning Dream could exile Tommy for breaking a couple blocks and placing some rude signs in George’s house. Even the punishment itself was changed without warning, as Tommy went from being exiled from L’Manburg to exiled from “everywhere that’s ever been touched.”
...I was originally gonna make a different point here. I may put it in the reblogs, because I still think it’s very interesting. But, in the middle of writing this essay I had to stop because it was late, then I spent the entire next day packing up because I’m in the middle of a move. It's now the next evening, I'm sat in my new room, on my camping bed, I opened this doc because I pretty much forgot what I typed, I reread it, and then I realized… This isn’t an isolated series of events. This is a pattern for Dream.
Before Tommy first joined the server, there were only three set rules: no stealing, no griefing, and no killing people. Except by that point, those rules weren’t enforced at all. In fact, Dream broke all three at once at one point, by killing George and burning his diamond armor because he didn’t feel it was fair that George got to run around in full diamond when everyone else still had iron.
Tommy joined the server, and broke the rules like everyone else. He stole shit, broke shit, killed George for funsies… and he got exiled for it. Seriously, they dumped him in an empty snowfield for breaking rules that nobody had enforced for weeks. So technically, the Exile-arc isn’t even the first time something like this has happened to him!
During the events that would eventually spark the Disc War, Sapnap stole a bunch of Tommy’s items (including the only Netherite chestplate on the server at the time), and told him he’d only give the stuff back if Tommy helped him with a conflict he had with Ponk. Long story short, Dream tried to intervene and was killed by Tommy and Sapnap, and Dream stole Tommy’s discs to force him to apologize. He then kept the discs, and the Disc War followed. Sapnap, despite being the aggressor and arguably forcing Tommy to participate in the conflict, was never punished.
This proves not only that the rules can change whenever Dream feels like it, but that they’re arbitrarily enforced. Dream refuses to punish his friends for the same crimes he endlessly fucks over Tommy for.
L’Manburg was created in part because of the fact that the rules were unevenly enforced. Tommy, Wilbur, and later Tubbo were repeatedly killed, stolen from, imprisoned, and even held hostage for very minor crimes, while the people killing, imprisoning, kidnapping and stealing from them were able to do so without impunity.
This was also the point where Dream just started making up new rules; there was no rule against having governments on the server, or making a separate area where Dream’s rules wouldn’t apply, so Dream banned governments, and used this new rule as an excuse to kill them, take their items, and tear their land to shreds.
And that’s another thing: the punishments for breaking Dream’s rules are INCREDIBLY harsh.
Kill him non-canonically one time? Your most prized possessions will now be dangled over your head and used to hurt you for the next few months.
Make a country with different laws that doesn’t infringe on anyone’s territory, has no desire to expand, is explicitly pacifistic and open to trade negotiations? You’ll be forced to fight a war you’re in no way equipped to fight, you’ll be betrayed and murdered and have your land destroyed in front of your very eyes until you literally have no choice but to surrender.
Mildly vandalize the king’s house, which nobody else has ever been punished for? You’ll be dragged into court, exiled from your home, and subjected to weeks of abuse until you believe that all of your friends hate you and you actively want to kill yourself.
Hide some stuff in a secret chest? Your only shelter will be exploded, your pet/only food source will be killed, all your items will be destroyed, you’ll be banned from the Nether, and none of your friends will be allowed to come see you.
This is all such disproportionate retribution it’s ridiculous. It’s like punishing someone for speeding by blowing up their car with a ballistic missile.
So to sum up: Dream’s rules are arbitrarily enforced, and he can just straight up make them up on the spot if he feels like it. Sometimes, he won’t tell you a rule exists until you’ve already broken it, and you’re treated as if you broke it out of malice instead of genuine ignorance. And if you do break a rule, and he decides you have to be punished, it will always be a punishment so harsh it doesn’t even ATTEMPT to fit the crime.
I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty fucking corrupt and tyrannical to me.
When people say Tommy deserved exile, or made Dream spiral into villainy, or abused Dream somehow (seriously I’ve seen this take multiple times and every time it makes my brain melt) by breaking the rules, I would invite them to take a step back and ask themselves, why did that rule exist? Did Tommy know it existed? Was it enforced for everyone other than him as well? Does the punishment fit the crime?
Dream has a bad habit of making up rules, or enforcing old ones that were never enforced before, to punish those who threaten his power. None of the Dream Team were ever punished for anything, despite committing the same crimes as the L’Manburgians. That is, until they founded Mexican L’Manburg (i.e. went against Dream’s rule), at which point they were attacked by Dream and George was dethroned for “not being neutral enough.”
Tommy should’ve faced consequences for what he did. But those consequences should’ve come naturally, and been carried out by the people he hurt. Like, if Dream hadn’t intervened, griefing George’s house would’ve resulted in George griefing Tommy back in revenge. In fact, he DID do that, by turning Tommy’s entire house into granite and putting the Jump In The Cadillac picture on his front lawn.
These are natural, proportionate consequences. Exile was none of that. The Disc War was none of that. Everything that happened to L’Manburg was none of that.
Dream’s rules and how he enforces them are inherently corrupt and tyrannical. To pretend it’s anything but is disingenuous at best.
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Hi wifey 💘 hope u are fine! I have a request- can u maybe write something where Tom and the reader have a fight and Tom says something that really hurts the reader🥺 just angst with fluff at the end
I'm sorry it took me so long to answer this wifey! I hope you're happy with it though! I love me some gut wrenching angst, love you xx
Long Distance
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Warnings: angst, fighting
Summary: You’ve got some things to talk about when Tom gets home
Masterlist
Taglist
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“You’re home late,” (y/n) hummed, watching as Tessa ran to greet Tom at the door.
“I told you, we stopped for dinner on the way home,” he smiled, scratching the dog's head affectionately.
“I didn’t realize you’d be out so late, I could have met up with you guys.”
“Oh no need for that love,” he dropped his bag on the floor before moving to greet her with a quick kiss, “I’d love to hop into bed with you right away darling but I’m in dire need of a shower so I will be right back.”
“Alright,” she pursed her lips for just a moment, “I’ll be here.”
“You can join me if you want,” he offered with a smirk.
She rolled her eyes, “You just said you're in dire need of a shower.”
“Oh shush, if I was that gross you would have noticed already,” he stuck his tongue out before disappearing behind the bathroom door, leaving her alone with Tessa again.
She sighed, settling back into bed while she waited for Tom to clean up. Of course she didn’t want to get mad at Tom on his first day home, but the annoyance had been slowly building over his whole trip. It had been constant missed calls and texts, half assed replies only coming hours later. He never reached out to her unprompted, he seemed distracted on call, and then, to top it all off, he’d showed up hours later than he was supposed to, only telling her that he was grabbing food.
Tom left the bathroom, a towel hanging off his hips as he pulled one of the dresser drawers open, “Where are your jammies?” he frowned.
“Oh I rearranged the clothes, yours are in the top two and mine are in the bottom.
“Oh…” he pulled out some sweats and began changing, “I liked having them all together, then my clothes smell like you and yours smell like me, it’s nice for when I go away, reminds me of you,” he flashed her a smile, but it fell when he looked back at her, “What?”
“Doesn’t seem like it's a very good reminder.”
“What? Darling of course it is, it makes me feel at home, and that little piece of you is really comforting to me,” he sat at her feet, “You’re upset with me.”
She nodded, “Yeah, but I know you’re tired, we can talk about it tomorrow.”
“No, no, we can talk about it now, I figured we’d stay up for a bit anyway. Besides, it’s not good to go to bed angry,” he kissed her hand before crossing his legs, “Tell me what’s on your mind love.”
“Okay,” she took a deep breath, “I just felt like we hardly talked while you were gone and that really bugged me. I mean I understand that you were busy doing press and everything, but I felt like I was really on the back burner.”
“Love I called you every opportunity I had, and I warned you I wouldn’t have much free time, this is a big film, there’s lots to be done.”
“I understand that Tom, but I know you didn’t call me every chance you got because you never called me unprompted. I mean the whole time you were gone I only heard from you after I reached out, and I was lucky if I got a reply on the same day. Then you come home hours late, you don’t tell me where you are, you don’t invite me out with you, I mean I’m your girlfriend Tom.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way darling but I put my best effort in here, I don’t know what you want me to say, I was just busy. And I’m sorry I was late getting home but we’d been flying all day, we were hungry, we stopped for dinner, it wasn’t like I was avoiding coming home or something.”
“No but you didn’t invite me, and I’m not saying we need to do everything together, but when you're gone for a whole month I wanna feel like you're excited to see me when you come home.”
“I am excited to see you!” he laughed, cupping her face in his hands, “You can ask anyone darling, I was buzzing the whole way home, they couldn’t get me to shut up about you.”
“It doesn’t matter what you say to other people Tom,” she groaned, pushing his hands away, “I know I’m being petty here but you didn’t even want me at the airport, in fact you told me not to come because the traffic would be annoying and you’d be home at 8 anyway, and then you weren’t. Don’t you understand why that makes me feel unwanted?”
“Airports irritate you, I just wanted to save you the trip,” he defended, “I really am sorry it’s been such a rough month darling, but you could have let me know a lot sooner too. You know you can always come visit when I’m away, and if you really wanted me home right away all you had to do was tell me.”
“It’s not that simple Tom, I have my own things going on, I can’t just fly across the world because you’re too busy to take two seconds to text me back. And the point is that I want you to want to come home to me. I don’t want to have to tell you I want you to come home, I want you to do it because you want to see me as much as I want to see you.”
“Darling I know it’s not that easy but you knew what you were getting into with this relationship.”
“I knew that I was getting into long distance, but that doesn’t mean we don’t talk.”
“I wasn’t ignoring you, it’s hard for you to understand what it’s like but I was busy all day, everyday. Whenever I wasn’t working I was sleeping, I got back to you whenever I could, and I’m sorry that that wasn’t as frequent as you would have liked, but you weren’t the only thing on my mind.”
“I wasn’t on your mind at all, evidently.”
Tom sucked in a sharp breath, rising from his seat to cross his arms, “Is that what you think?”
“That’s what you made clear with your actions,” she retorted.
His jaw was locked, his cheeks flushed red with anger, “I can’t spend less time away (y/n), and I can’t always put you at the top of my priority list. It just comes with the job and if you can’t handle that you’re welcome to leave.”
“Leave?” she repeated, in shock that the words had actually left his mouth.
He nodded, confirmed she’d heard correctly, “If you’re not happy you can leave.”
She pushed herself off the bed, shaking her head in disbelief as she approached the dresser, “Fine.”
He stayed quiet for a moment, watching as she began tossing clothes onto the bed. The anger seemed to flood away in an instant, “What are you doing?”
“Leaving.”
“Darling wait,” he sighed, “Don’t do that. Let’s sit down again.”
“You told me to leave, so I’m leaving,” she snapped back.
“I didn’t say that,” he groaned, grabbing her hands as he moved in between her and the dresser, “Please stay.”
“I’m telling you that I miss you!” she snapped suddenly, tears starting to prick at the corners of her eyes, “That I need you! A-And I need you to know that you love me when you’re gone, not just when you’re here. Why is that too much?”
He froze, a wave of guilt washing over him in an instant, “It’s not darling, not at all. I got defensive, I’m sorry.”
She sat back down on the edge of the bed with a sigh, “You didn’t just get defensive, you told me to leave.”
“I didn’t mean it like I wanted you to leave,” he tried to explain, “But if you aren’t happy with me then you should leave, as much as that would absolutely kill me.”
“I am happy with you Tom, the happiest I’ve ever been,” she squeezed his hand.
“I’m my happiest with you too,” he pursed his lips, “I’m sorry sweetheart, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. It just hurt to come home and immediately get told I’ve been being such a shitty boyfriend.”
“You haven’t been, that’s not what I was trying to imply either. I just need you to put in a little more effort next time you're away. I know it’s hard and you're busy, but I’m not asking you to sit by your phone every second of the day. I just need to know that you miss me too.”
“I do miss you, just…” he trailed off, sighing as he tried to put his words together more calmly, “It’s not easy being away. I mean I do all these press events all day and I get back totally wiped and I’ve got to stay in another hotel all alone. It used to be a lot easier to do that when I didn’t have you to come home too. I never felt like I was missing out on anything before, and now I feel like I’m missing all these moments with you. I try really hard to bury those emotions so I can be happy and do all the interviews and what not.”
“Why couldn’t you just talk to me about it?”
“I would have been a mess if I spent all day dragging on and on about how much I missed you, I had work to do, it was easier to bury it,” he sighed again, “I don’t know darling, I didn’t realize I was hurting you, I was just trying to get it all done so I could come home and be happy again.”
“Okay…” she set her head on his shoulder, “I know maybe it makes it harder for you, but just promise you won’t do that to me next time.”
“Of course not love, I’d never do anything I knew would hurt you,” he kissed her head before nuzzling his nose against her hair, “There won’t be a next time, I won’t go away again.”
“Tom that is not what I want, it’s your job, it’s okay that you have to leave sometimes.”
He shook his head, “It’s not okay if it hurts us, that’s a risk I won’t take. So I won’t go away again unless we’re going together, at least not until I’m sure you know exactly how much I love and appreciate you.”
She peaked up at him before pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you Tom.”
“You’re welcome,” he squeezed her tight against his chest again, “I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. I’d be fucking devistated if you ever left darling.”
“I would never leave,” she assured, “Ever.”
“Me neither,” he hummed, “You and me is the only thing I’ll ever want.”
“Me too,” she closed her eyes, snuggling into his side like she’d been dreaming of doing for a whole month, “You wanna go to bed now?”
He nodded, “There’s nothing I’d like more.”
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Taglist: @spideyssunshine @niallberry @namoreno @paulaabellag @roseke @outshineallthestars @tomsirishgirlx @emistrash @andreagf956 
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phoenixyfriend ¡ 4 years ago
Text
Auntie ‘Soka and Little Leia (and Rex)
The counterpart to Uncle Ben and Little Luke (Original Post, Chrono)
Listen. You all knew this was coming.
This got... very long and detailed and I’m going to have to clean it up and post to AO3. As in, this was supposed to be 2-3k and is literally ten times that long. It crossed 25k. And the initial section actually glosses over a bunch, actual fic-style writing starts at “That, of course, is when things get interesting.”
Warnings: discussion of various canon traumas (most relating to being child soldiers), general PTSD, several scenes featuring dissociation or panic attacks upon being triggered, and canon-typical violence.
Rated T, gen.
I still want there to be de-aging nonsense involved so Ahsoka is physically a late teenager despite having a solid two decades of field experience behind her (we’re pulling her from Malachor).
Leia, much like Luke, is now six. She just came from being a rebellion general. She is not happy about being a child. She was already short, this is just mean.  She’s a human espresso.
UNLIKE BEN, Ahsoka is not happy about this turn of events. Being seventeen-ish is not helpful in the outer rim. She’s a female togruta, young and healthy, and in the Outer Rim, caring for a small human child. Sure, she has her lightsabers and plenty of combat experience, and she can keep them safe, but she’s just one person, and a major target for those looking to make some quick cash. It doesn’t matter how good she is; she needs sleep at some point.
It makes my heart happy to treat Ahsoka and Rex as two halves of the same black ops specialist so you know what, he’s there too! He’s physically like... 10-12 in natborn, maybe. They’re not sure, because clones age weird. He’s moderately more useful than Leia (who is very competent but also physically six, and short for that age), but he’s still... very small.
Reminder that none of them have been born yet.
Ahsoka has a harder time explaining WHY she has children with her, since she's barely more than a kid herself, and clearly unrelated by species. She sometimes just says “Oh, my adoptive brother’s kids” since it’s kind of the truth for Leia and she’s not touching the actual truth about Rex with a ten foot pole.
Ahsoka definitely knows about Leia being a Skywalker, or at least has suspicions that Bail never outright confirmed but was conspicuously quiet about. She does tell Leia about it, but it’s not like that means anything, right? Just, you know, your dad was my teacher! I don’t have to tell you he became Va--oh shit, you already knew that part. Well, fuck. What do you mean he had a son? OH SHIT, PADME HAD TWINS.
Alt take for explaining why she’s got kids: She’s my foundling, I know her name as my child (Leia shut up!!!)
(Ahsoka can fake Mandalore. Sometimes.)
That said, there is... significantly less gambling and significantly more theft to get to Coruscant.
As previously stated, Ahsoka is a black ops kinda gal, and more importantly, she looks like a fairly attractive young woman in the Outer Rim, with two children in good health. She’s a target, and also not the kind of person one generally gambles with. If she does gamble, people get upset when she doesn’t lose, in ways they don’t get upset about Ben doing the same, because she’s, again, a cute teenage girl. It’s exhausting.
As things go, she largely ends up stealing from people who deserve it and/or smuggling herself and her charges into someone else’s ship. They’re small, they can hide. Sometimes she can get them all passage by working as a mechanic, she’s good at that.
Once they’ve got a handle on when they are, they have to decide on Names. None of them have been born yet, so technically they could use their own names without anyone Knowing. Rex and Leia might not even be born, depending on how successful they are at, you know, stopping the war and everything. Ahsoka, though, she’s going be born in two years, and there’s no reason to prevent it, so... she doesn’t want to steal baby-her’s name. That would be mean.
Leia is already calling her “Auntie ‘Soka” when she can for reasons like “selling the bit” and “manipulating adults” and “making us both feel better after we had a mutual breakdown about Anakin being Vader.” Ergo, she decides that whatever new name she picks better include that in some way, and decides on “Sokari” because it sounds pretty.
Overall, they don’t... they don’t actually make it very far before there’s an Incident. Again, teenager with small children. They spend a lot of time hiding out in space ports looking for an opportunity.
That, of course, is when things get interesting.
Specifically, Ahsoka spots a Mandalorian.
She doesn’t recognize the armor. She does recognize the sigil, and thinks ‘well, they’re more likely to help than some,’ because from what she’s heard, the Haat Mando’ade are Decent People Overall. Her view is a little biased, mostly on account of the sheer level of grudge she has against Kyr’tsad. It’s fine! The True Mandalorians have the same grudge, right? And Mandalorians like kids and Ahsoka hasn’t slept in five days and it’s fine. It’s fine! IT’S FINE.
“Oh shit,” Rex whispers, before she can suggest anything. “Oh fuck.”
“Stop cursing,” Leia hisses, elbowing him. “People are going to notice.”
“That’s the Prime,” Rex panics, mostly quiet. Ahsoka’s heart drops, because fuck is right. “That’s Fett.”
Leia isn’t impressed. Ahsoka just angles herself between Fett and Rex and hopes that he doesn’t see them. That’s just asking for trouble.
Unfortunately, Ahsoka is in fact running on none sleep with left trauma, and doesn’t notice Fett walking up and dropping into a seat across from them until he’s actually done so, removing his helmet to glare a little more efficiently.
“Wanna explain why your kid has my face?”
Ahsoka later tells herself that he’s killed Jedi and that’s why he can sneak up on her, and that she can be forgiven some slip-ups with the exhaustion being what it is, and that she’s obviously going to be dealing with some emotional instability in light of the sudden return of teenage hormones and new forms of anxiety that are markedly different from those she was dealing with a few weeks ago.
What Ahsoka wants to say is “that’s kind of a long story,” or “maybe he’s a cousin,” or “kriff off, I don’t know you,” or maybe even “he’s a clone.”
What Ahsoka actually does is burst into tears, which is embarrassing for her, for Fett, for the kids, and for the entire rest of the bar.
It really is the straw that broke the eopie’s back. Even when she was actually this age, she didn’t exactly cry much. Objectively, Fett quasi-aggressively asking a valid question shouldn’t send her into a panic. She’s been through torture and worse. She shouldn’t be crying.
But she is, sobbing her eyes out with no control, and he’s just sitting across from her and looking uncomfortable while Rex wraps his little arms--oh Force he’s so small--around her, and both ‘children’ glare at Fett.
“So, I’m going to take it she didn’t kidnap you from a loving family or do something illicit with a blood sample,” Fett says, after it becomes obvious that Ahsoka’s not going to be ready to talk any time soon.
“She didn’t,” Rex says stiffly, with just the right emphasis for Fett to catch what’s implied. Ahsoka just keeps her head down, eyes pressed against the heels of her palms, trying to get her body to stop rebelling against her.
Fett’s eyes dart to Leia, who folds her arms and draws herself up, every bit the unimpressed princess. “My father claimed her as a sister, so she’s my Auntie ‘Soka.”
The man dithers a bit, the conversation clearly not going where he’d expected. “Right,” he says. “You--you’re all kids. I thought she was a little older, at least, but I didn’t have a good look at her face before.”
She is older, but actually admitting that is only going to make this worse, both for her pride and for her chances of making it out alive.
“Where are you staying?”
“What?” Leia bites out.
“You’re kids, you’re alone, and you’re clearly not okay if you were trying to hide the one with my face as blatantly as you did, and then... whatever this is, when I confronted you,” Fett explains. Ahsoka lifts her head to glare at him, but it’s probably not doing much with the way her eyes are rimmed with red and still wet. “Don’t give me that look, ad’ika, your kids looked as confused and horrified by that as the bartender did. They obviously didn’t think it was normal either.”
Well, kriff you too, Ahsoka thinks.
“And what do you mean by ‘blatantly,’ here?” Leia challenges. It’s adorable, but Ahsoka watched this tiny girl shoot a man last week, and wonders when people are going to start taking that seriously.
“There’s a lot of people in this galaxy, and I don’t exactly have the clearest memory of what I looked like at that age,” Fett says, slow and careful like he thinks they’re dumb. Ahsoka decides to chalk it up as being because Leia’s visibly six. “I would have thought it was just a coincidence if you hadn’t put in effort to hide him.”
Leia huffs, and Rex glares harder. Fett just sighs, like they’re all going to give him grey hairs.
“You can explain whatever the hell’s going on,” Fett says. “I’ll let you stay on my ship, there’s a spare bunk and you’re small.”
“For free?” Rex demands.
“A night on a bunk in exchange for information,” Fett clarifies. “We can negotiate from there.”
Ahsoka takes a few moments, notes that both of the others are waiting on her for the decision, and cringes. She doesn’t feel steady enough to carry that. She has to anyway.
“Rex?” she asks, voice rasping after the breakdown of the past few minutes.
“Yeah?”
“How much?”
He looks up at her, eyes calculating, and grimaces. “We don’t want Order 66. A warning is better, even if we... share information.”
She nods, and turns to Leia. “Any premonitions, princess?”
Leia glowers, cute and furious. “No.”
“No, don’t tell, or no, you aren’t getting any vibes about sharing info one way or the other?”
“The latter,” Leia clarifies, huffy to the last.
“Right,” Ahsoka says, and then just... hesitates. “Fett...”
“You’ve got conditions,” he guesses.
She bares her teeth in what could have, through a squint and perhaps a few drinks, been called an apologetic smile. “Just one, really.”
“Yeah?”
“No hurting, killing, or turning us in for bounties,” she says. “Any of us.”
“You’re children, I wouldn’t.”
She blinks at him, slow and careful. She hesitates. She reaches down, out of sight, sees him stiffen.
She unclips her sabers from her belt and puts them on the table.
His eyes are fixed on the weapons the second they enter his line of sight, and don’t move as he clearly realizes why she made the condition she did.
“I left years ago, because I couldn’t stay without it ruining me,” she says. Still slow. Still careful. She’s so tired. “But if I want to keep Leia safe, I have to get back to Coruscant.”
His eyes finally lift from the sabers, expression blank. “Just her?”
“Rex doesn’t have the same monsters coming after him,” she says. “If it were just me and him, I’d worry less. Leia’s a different kind of target.”
“You’re putting a lot of faith on the table by telling me that,” Fett says, voice flat and toneless. “Considering my occupation.”
“She’s a child,” Ahsoka says, feeling heavy and boneless. “Even with what I was and will be, even with what money you would get from the right buyer, you wouldn’t.”
“There are other risks.”
“There are.”
They stare at each other for too long, probably, and then Fett jerks as Rex kicks him under the table. The boys glare for a moment, and then Rex says, “If she weren’t good, I’d still be a slave to those who grew me.”
Fett blinks, and then nearly growls the word, “What?”
“She freed me,” Rex reiterates. “While I was trying to shoot her.”
Ahsoka lifts a hand and puts it on his far shoulder, pulling him into her side. She doesn’t meet Fett’s eyes again, because part of her is back on Mandalore, dodging her own soldiers and crying out as her family dies across the galaxy.
Fett breathes in. Breathes out. He puts a hand to his head, visibly frustrated. “Fine. A good Jedi kid, and two smaller kids, one of which is apparently in some way mine.”
Rex makes a face, which is fair, but also not helping.
“To the ship,” Ahsoka says, putting her sabers back on her belt and sliding out of the seat. “I’m... I’m Sokari.”
“You already know my name.”
“I do.”
---------------------------
Fett watches her like she’s a predator, which has the benefit of being accurate and slightly flattering. She lets other two take care of most of talking, and then Fett tells her to sleep first, and talk in the morning.
“You’re dead on your feet, jetii,” he snorts. “And that crying jag didn’t do you any favors. Sleep.”
So she does, and Fett doesn’t even wake her. He just lets her sleep. He watches her in the way of a guard. She sees him when she gets up to use the ‘fresher in the middle of the night, but he doesn’t even comment when she collapses right back into the mediocre cot she’s borrowed for the cycle.
Rex and Leia are safe, her hindbrain tells her, even in the depths of sleep. Her mind curls around theirs in the Force, and she trusts that they are here. They are not happy, but they are alive and unharmed, and that has to be enough.
When she stumbles her way to true wakefulness, groggy and loose-limbed, Fett greets her with caf.
“The kids wouldn’t let me near you,” he tells her.
“They’re good,” she says, cupping her hands around the mug. She feels wobbly, in every sense. Her body, her mind, her emotions, her connection to the Force. Nothing is on-kilter right now. “Did they tell you anything?”
“They waited for you,” he says. “But the little miss needed a nap of her own. They’re down in the other bunk.”
“I didn’t notice,” she admits. She should have. She’s Fulcrum. She’s a veteran of the Clone Wars. She’s... she’s supposed to be better than this.
“How long?” he asks, and then when she squints up at him, he clarifies. “How long did you fight?”
“My last fight--”
“No, whatever war you came out of,” he says. Her chest twists cold. “I don’t know if the Jedi sent you into it or if you waded in yourself once you left, but you move like a soldier.”
“I was,” she confirms. “But... but I don’t want to talk about the details. Not until the other two are here.”
He frowns at her. “Is there anything you can talk about?”
She shrugs and looks away, trying to take solace in the warmth of the caff she holds above the table, as if it can hide her, guard her, from the disgraced Mand’alor across the table.
“Jedi?”
“I’m not officially a Jedi,” she says, voice quiet. “Not anymore.”
“Then what do I call you?” he asks. “We’re not exactly close enough for names.”
“Torrent,” she says. “It’s not--I can’t claim my family name anymore. But I can claim Torrent, so I will. And if you want a title, I was a commander.”
“Bit young for that.”
“I got the rank when I was fourteen,” she says, and watches his face do something complicated and unpleasant. “Don’t. I know your own culture puts children on the field that young.”
“Not in command.”
She shrugs. “Yeah, well... the soldiers were technically younger. Adults, but...”
Ahsoka can see the way he casts about to figure out what species grows at that rate. He guesses a few, and she shoots all of it down.
She won’t tell him. Not until Rex is awake.
This part of the story is his.
--------------------------
When Leia tries to sit alone, a foot away on the bench like a proper adult, Ahsoka refuses to let it happen. She pulls the younger girl to her side and quells protests with a glance. It’s a decent skill, but she’s not sure how long it’s going to work on her niece-in-spirit.
“Your body needs the chemical release of skinship,” she says, and Leia glares at her. “I spent way too much time with the boys to not know about this. Deal.”
Rex sits close enough to knock their knees together under the table, and his warmth is the old comfort she needs.
“Do you want the story you’ll believe, or the truth?” Ahsoka asks.
“What’s the difference?”
“One of them involves something so impossible that even most Jedi wouldn’t believe it,” she tells him.
Fett folds his arms and leans forward to rest them on the table, challenging but oddly open. “Try me.”
“Time travel.”
He blinks, just once, fully controlled. “That’s a tough one.”
“There were only three Jedi left alive when I died,” she says. “Or... whatever it is that happened to me. I think I died. All I know is that one moment, I was thirty-two and dying, and the next, I was... seventeen again, and had these two with me. All of us younger than we were. None of us have even been born yet.”
She refuses to look him in the eye. “They both outlived me by... six years, maybe. Got caught up while traveling instead of dying. Leia was twenty-two. Rex was thirty-five. I’m not technically the oldest anymore. I mean, physically I am, but that doesn’t mean anything, and it’s not exactly doing us any good, and--”
Rex bumps his shoulder to her arm. “I dunno, Commander. I’ve spent a long time looking older than I should. Nice to look younger for once.”
She shoots him a small, pained grin. “Could be worse, yeah.”
“Let’s say I believe you.”
Her attention snaps back to Fett, who’s looking damnably blank, and is showing even less in the Force.
He waits a second for her to relax back into her seat.
“Let’s say I believe you,” he repeats. “How’s ‘Rex’ connected to me? What’s so special about Leia there? And what war did you fight in that has you acting like a veteran?”
“Three years in the clone wars,” she whispers, glancing to Rex and forcing herself to not go for her sabers to defend against an attack that her paranoia says is coming and the Force says is not. “Then almost all the Jedi were wiped out at once, and I spent a year... drifting. Then black ops for the next fifteen.”
“Black ops,” he repeats, still damnably flat.
“There was a Sith Empire,” she says, and she can hear her own tone growing somehow emptier. “Glassing planets. Enslaving entire species. Committing genocides all over. Of course, there was a rebellion, and of course I joined it. I was one of the only people left with Jedi training. For all that I’d left the Order, I still had a duty to the universe.”
His eyes flit to Leia, who shrugs and tries to look prim. “I was adopted and raised by one of the founders of the rebellion, a movement built on the desire to instate freedom and democracy in a galaxy that had lost even the pretense.”
“That why you’re special?”
Leia smiles, thin and patronizing. It doesn’t fit on her little face. “I’m special because my biological father was one of the most powerful Force users in history, and his Fall to the dark side and choice to become a Sith is why the Emperor’s rise was nearly uncontested. I do not like power, but it’s in my veins and I can’t change that. Force users are... a lucrative trade, and I’m still the size of a child, so I can’t fight back. I’ll be safer in the Jedi Temple, even if I don’t want to be a Jedi.”
Fett looks to Ahsoka, makes to ask a question, and then shakes his head. Not the time, maybe.
“So, that’s all... very complicated and I don’t know how much of it I believe, but it doesn’t explain...” he trails off, and sighs. “My kid, or whatever you are. I heard you mention clones.”
Rex grins. It is not a kind expression.
“Let me tell you about Kamino.”
---------------------------
Ahsoka has no idea if Fett believes them. Either he thinks they’re telling the truth, or he thinks their delusional kids. Whatever the case, he offers to take them closer to the Core. Ahsoka quietly offers to take a look at his engine in return, and then pretends not to notice when Fett awkwardly drifts to and away from Rex.
“They put chips in our brains to make us kill the Jedi we respected, cared for, even loved. I tried to shoot ‘Soka, Fett. She was seventeen and risked her life to get that chip out of my head while I was trying to kill her. I have never hated myself more than when I woke up and realized what I’d almost done, and I was one of the few that were able to fight it. I heard the stories of dozens of brothers who woke with their chips having degraded and chose to eat their blaster rather than live with the guilt of the orders they’d followed without question because of a thrice-damned Sith slave chip in their head.”
“So no, I won’t call you father or acknowledge you as clan until you do something to prove you’re worth it, shared blood or not.”
What Ahsoka does get out of the arrangement, for all that Fett’s route mostly takes them on a meandering path that isn’t faster than their previous system, is sleep. She gets to rest. She gets to trust that Fett won’t kill Rex, out of guilt for something he hasn’t done, that he won’t kill Leia out of a worry that she’s just a delusional child, a real child, that he won’t kill ‘Sokari’ because it would ruin any chance of gaining Rex’s favor, ever.
She’s not safe, won’t believe she can be until she’s in the Temple and Sidious is dead dead dead, but she’s safer than she’s been in a long time.
Every night, Ahsoka wakes up and stumbles to the little galley, deaths and torture sparkling behind her eyes with the energy of a thousand lost Jedi, ten thousand mourned brothers and sisters.
She is not the only one of their little group to be a survivor of a near-total genocide, but Rex could not feel his brothers die in the Force, even if his nightmares featured what they heard of suicide missions by the emperor’s favored shock troopers, and Leia had... Alderaan had more off-world survivors than there had been Jedi at all.
It’s not worth comparing their pain. It’s stupid to even think it. Part of her can’t help but do it anyway.
“Caf?”
She feels a lek twitch in response to the voice of the only other person on board who can reach the top shelf. “I probably shouldn’t.”
“Whiskey?”
“That’s a definitely shouldn’t.”
“Hoth chocolate?”
“...please.”
She doesn’t lift her head from her arms until the mug clicks down in front of her, ceramic on plastisteel.
“Do I ask what it was this time?”
She shrugs. “It’s hard to explain to non-sensitives.”
“Try me anyway.”
Ahsoka twists the Hoth chocolate in her hands, takes a sip as she thinks. “The Force isn’t just one thing. It’s... energy and philosophy and spirit, a sense of being that ties the entire universe together. Sentient and inanimate and living and dead, empty space and lush forests and stifled cities. For those of us who are sensitive to it, it’s possible to feel the life of everyone around you, theoretically possible to feel entire systems. If you have a Force bond, like a master and padawan, that can stretch across planets, even systems if one or both are particularly powerful.
“So just... just imagine, for a moment, what it’s like to feel the screaming of all those Jedi in the Force as their trusted men shot them down.
“Some of them were close enough that I could feel them die,” she manages. “I... it’s horrible. It’s horrific. It’s not something I can ever forget, and I want to. I want to forget what that moment was like. Not that it happened, but...”
She can feel the tears. Fuck..
“You want to dull the edges.”
“Don’t we all?” she asks, scrubbing the back of her hand across her eyes. “Leia lost her entire planet, billions of people, and she was forced to watch. Rex... Force, I can barely imagine, and I was there for most of it.”
Fett watches her, measuring. “From what he said, they were as much your brothers as his, by the end.”
“No,” she immediately denies. “They could have been, maybe, but the ones I was closest to died earlier, and then I left, and by the time the Empire rose, all but a handful were... no. Rex, I will claim as a brother in all the ways that matter, but I don’t get to do that with the rest. I don’t have the right.”
“You’re hard on yourself.”
“Fate of the galaxy, my good bitch. Guess who’s got it on her shoulders.”
He snorts at her, and nods at the mug. “Drink your Hoth chocolate. We’re landing in eight hours, and you’ve got kids to look out for.”
---------------------------
There’s a twitch in the Force when they land, something pulling at her in a way she barely feels. She’s had her shields up so fully for so long that it’s natural to hide away what she is to the point where she can hardly tell what anyone else is, either. It takes more than a moment to remember how to let herself spread out across the world.
“Auntie ‘Soka? Why’d you stop?”
She doesn’t have an answer to Leia’s prodding question. “I don’t know.”
It’s almost familiar. Old and half-forgotten, not the same as what she remembers, but--
“This way,” she says, and wanders off into the crowd. Leia and Rex follow without question. Fett curses and rushes through the rest of his transaction with the docking attendant. The sound of him jogging after them is almost funny, with the armor, but she can’t focus on that.
Ahsoka slips between people with the ease of a career built on such a habit, children trailing like ducklings. She knows this feeling, she knows this person, what is she missi--
“Oh,” she breathes, going stock still. She knows that face. She knows those braids. She even knows the presence.
Younger than Ahsoka had ever seen her, but unmistakably Master Billaba.
“Torrent, what the hell?” Fett demands, finally catching up. “You can’t just run off like that!”
“It’s Depa,” she says, eyes still fixed on the woman parsing through a datapad with an irritated vendor. She has a padawan braid. It doesn’t feel like Master Windu is on-planet, so this might be a solo mission, a... oh. Senior Padawan, Knight Elect. This is the kind of mission taken to test if she’s ready to be promoted.
Ahsoka feels light-headed.
Fett waits for her to elaborate, but she can’t. This was Kanan’s master. This was a member of the High Council. This was a woman who died and--
“You need to sit down,” Fett says, not a touch gruff. He puts a hand on her shoulder and guides her off the main walkway. “I’m... going to talk to the woman in the Jedi robes. You three just stay there and don’t get kidnapped.”
Ahsoka nods, feeling like she’s not quite inhabiting her own body.
It’s Depa.
Her eyes track Fett without conscious control, and her montrals pick up the sound.
Depa looks up when the armor comes close enough, free hand tensed in a way that says she’s preventing herself from reaching for a saber in reaction to the heavily-armored individual standing several feet away.
“Mando,” the woman says. “May I help you?”
“Are you Depa?”
Depa doesn’t do anything so dramatic as gape or step back, but she does blink rapidly for a moment. She then folds her hands down in front of her, drawing her spine up ramrod straight. “I am Jedi Padawan Depa Billaba, yes. May I ask why it is that you need to know?”
Ahsoka imagines Fett grimacing, or rolling his eyes, or maybe dithering. She can’t tell from this angle, and he has a helmet on besides. It turns his awkward silences into judgmental ones.
“I’ve had some Jedi kids on my ship, hitching a ride,” he says at length. “One of them recognized you and then just... froze.”
“You have our younglings in your care,” Depa says, carefully not accusatory, but close enough to be a warning.
“Not quite,” he says. “The one that actually came from the temple is seventeen. One of ‘em isn’t Force Sensitive, and the last one is but hasn’t been to Coruscant before. They’re trying to get the little one to the Temple for her own safety.”
Depa considers that, and then passes the datapad to the vendor. “Lead on.”
It’s surprisingly simple, really. Fett did all the talking.
And then Depa is standing right in front of her.
“Like I said,” Fett sighs. “She froze up.”
“Hello,” Depa says, hands laced together inside her sleeves. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”
Ahsoka shakes her head. “I know of you. I’ve seen you spar. You’ve never spoken to me.”
All true. A little misleading, but it’s fine, it’s all fine.
Depa waits a moment, and then says, “You seem to have me at a disadvantage. You know my name, but I don’t know yours.”
“Sokari T-Torrent,” she manages. The words feel clunky in her mouth, the sound abrasive for all that it’s just her own voice, no different from usual. A little shaky, maybe. She can feel a cool breeze on her upper arms. Shouldn’t she have armor? She should have armor. “It... it’s been a long time since I’ve seen another Jedi. I’m having a hard time believing you’re real.”
“I see,” Depa says. “Perhaps we should take this somewhere more private? You seem a little unsteady.”
Ahsoka lets herself be led back to the ship, in the company of Mand’alor Jango Fett, Jedi Padawan Depa Billaba, Princess-General Leia Organa, and good old Captain Rex.
It’s like the start of a sick joke.
---------------------------
Fett and Depa talk where she can hear, but they rarely address her directly. Both seem to realize that she’s not particularly useful right now. Leia and Rex are pressing up against her at the little table in the galley, and Ahsoka lets them.
This is real. She can feel Depa in the Force, recognizes her energy even if it’s not quite what it will-was-could-have-been. This is happening.
It’s a textbook Traumatic Stress Response case, one of them says.
Fett has his helmet off. Ahsoka’s sure that’s wrong for some reason. She thinks he might already be on wanted lists. Should she worry about Depa trying to arrest him?
Depa asks about Rex at one point. Fett tells her that someone cloned him without his knowing, but the kid is more comfortable with Ahsoka so they’re still working on what that means for him.
It’s more or less true. Rex squeezes her hand the one time someone suggests separating them. She’s not letting that happen unless Rex wants to leave for whatever reason. They’ve worked apart before. They can do it again.
“Auntie Soka? You’re shivering.”
Is she?
Leia cuddles in closer, and Ahsoka runs a hand over her hair. It’s an absentminded motion, and for all that she knows Leia’s hair is fine as silk, it feels like plastic in the moment.
“I don’t think I’m okay,” Ahsoka announces. The words hang in the air like lead balloons, and she can feel Depa staring at her. “I haven’t been for a very long time.”
“Yeah, we noticed,” Fett says. “Do you need to lay down, Torrent?”
Does she?
“No,” she says. “I... I don’t know what I need.”
“The spicy drink,” Rex tells them. “It’s grounding.”
Right. That.
Fett goes to grab it, and Depa continues to watch.
“How long ago did you leave your master?” Depa asks. “Or... did he die?”
Ahsoka closes her eyes and shakes her head. She can feel the shivers now, tremors in her biceps and a shudder she can’t control in the height of her ribcage. Her teeth grind together, jaw like stone.
“You don’t have to answer that,” Depa assures her. “I’m... going to recommend you see a mind healer on Coruscant.”
That was a forgone conclusion.
A cup clinks onto the table. Fett’s back. “Drink.”
She does.
Depa and Fett continue discussing it as “the adults” at the table. She’s older than both of them. Rex is older than all of them. Ahsoka follows about half of what they say. She agrees with most of it. Rex bullies his way into speaking when she doesn’t, without her even asking, because he knows her mind as well as she does. Fett rolls with it. Depa lets him.
She’s going to reach out to the Temple and see about getting them a ride back to Imperial Center Coruscant.
Fett makes Soka go to bed, taking Leia with her.
---------------------------
She feels more like a person come morning.
Depa’s sitting at the table, datapad in her hands and caff on the table in front of her.
“Good morning,” Ahsoka says, rough and croaking, and Depa’s eyes flick up to meet hers. She nods a shallow hello.
“Feeling better?”
“Much,” Ahsoka says, and goes about gathering a breakfast. There’s definitely some dried meat in here. She can get something fresh when they stop by the market later.
“I was hoping to speak with you about your options,” Depa tells her, once she’s sat at the table. “Fett and your friend Rex took care of most of the negotiation, and I feel like I have an idea of what would work best for you.”
Ahsoka nods slowly. “Okay.”
“There is a Master-Padawan pair a few planets away,” Depa says. “The Council informed me when I spoke with them about you and your wards. They’d be headed back to the Temple in a few days anyway, and the Council has agreed to extend an offer to Fett to handle the transportation. The presence of a Jedi Master on board will allow for him to get in and out of the Core unmolested, and we’d like for you and yours to have a Jedi escort, given what happened yesterday afternoon.”
Her complete spiral into nonbeing?
“I understand,” she says instead. “I suppose Fett agreed because he’s still trying to get Rex to like him?”
Depa shrugs. “That part isn’t my business.”
Of course it isn’t.
“Rex can stay with me for a while, right?” Ahsoka finally asks. “I know it’s not exactly protocol, but I’m...”
“In need of a support system until you’ve seen a mind healer, and against all odds, the child is part of it,” Depa summarizes. “Yes, I recognized as much. I think the Council will be able to allow some leeway there. I don’t know if he’ll enjoy it, given that all the others his age are Initiates, but we can adjust as necessary. On that note... Do you know Leia’s midichlorian count?”
“No,” Ahsoka says, and hesitantly adds, “But her biological father was my Jedi Master, and I’m told his count broke records even as a child. Given what Leia’s shown so far... it’s why I’ve been in a hurry to get her to the Temple.”
Depa frowns at her, clearly working through the implications of a Jedi having a daughter and still teaching... and then visibly dismisses the situation, eyes closing to breathe in the steam of her caff.
Biological father certainly implies a child that was raised by her mother or adopted out so the Jedi father could remain in their chosen career without a conflict of interest or duty.
She’ll tell the council the truth, or... at least Master Koon. Master Kenobi is still a padawan, but she can tell Master Koon.
She already told Jango Fett, of all people.
“Padawan Torrent?”
Her head snaps up. She hasn’t been a padawan in over fifteen years. It’s weird to hear. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I asked if you wanted some time to think it over before I presented the offer to Fett,” Depa says.
Ahsoka gets the distinct feeling that Depa is planning a report to the Council that has ‘needs a mind healer’ underlined at least three times.
“No, I’m--I’m fine. That sounds like a good plan.”
“I’ll speak with him, then. Would you like to come with?”
"No, thank you.”
---------------------------
Fett agrees. Ahsoka’s pretty sure it’s all to do with Rex and maybe Leia. It’s probably nothing to do with ‘Sokari.’ She’s a Jedi, an adult in mind and in body, or at least close enough to count. She’s a damn sight more ‘enemy’ to Fett than the other two are. Not as much as Depa, maybe, but Fett’s been playing nice with her for Leia’s sake.
He plays nice with Ahsoka for Rex’s. That’s all.
They’re only a few planets over from the meeting point, and they have a few days to hang around before the escort meets them. Depa hadn’t given them a name--apparently it could have compromised the opsec for the Jedi team--but Ahsoka’s pretty sure she’ll be able to identify almost anyone. She gets the feeling that the Force is going to send her a familiar face, just as it did Master Padawan Billaba.
Ahsoka lets herself feel the world around her. It’s dark and dreary, in the sense that the beaten-down port is full of petty crimes and less petty horrors, but it’s still lighter than most of the Empire had been. She sneaks away from the ship at night, ignoring Fett at her back, and performs a bit of vigilante justice while she can. She’ll be banned from doing so as soon as she’s reinstated as a Jedi, probably, but for now... for now, she can look at the drug cartels and ‘they’re not slaves, really’ workers and do something to help.
She doesn’t use her sabers. She doesn’t need to. It’s been a long time since she has, for small fry like these.
“What are you doing?” Fett asks her, landing heavily behind her back.
“Chip removal,” she says, hand pressed to the slave’s leg. Her eyes are closed, but she can hear him shifting. “Let me concentrate, I don’t have a meddroid for this.”
He’s silent until she finishes, and waits until the people she’s helped are on their way to the planet’s freedom routes. He doesn’t ask what she did with the owners.
“You’ve done this before.”
“Regularly,” she confirms. “You?”
He doesn’t answer that, just ambles over to the the chains and stares down at them.
“Fett?”
“You go through this like it’s as easy as breathing,” he says. “It’s... impressive.”
“I guess?” she hesitates to continue. “I’m... I don’t think of it that way. This is the easy stuff. A time-waster that helps people. If I wanted to help for real, I’d been going after Jabba or Sidious or--”
“How old were you?” he asks, turning on his heel to face her dead-on. The vocoder of his helmet pulls the emotion from his voice. “When did this... these missions, the slavery battles, when did that start for you?”
“Fourteen,” she says. She’s not entirely sure, really, what counted as a mission for ending slavery and what counted as just a part of war, but she can round down. “Maybe fifteen. It’s a bit of a blur.”
“And you just kept doing it.”
“Of course,” she says. “If I have the time and the energy, if I need to do something and there’s nothing official on my hands, why not?”
He doesn’t answer her.
---------------------------
Rex greets them before she does.
Ahsoka, in her defense, is asleep at the time. It’s a restless sleep, but it’s enough that she doesn’t sense the nearing Force signatures until they’re almost at the ship.
She recognizes one of them.
“Auntie ‘Soka?” Leia questions, when she lurches to her feet and starts pulling on her boots with all the energy of a zombie. “Where are you going?”
“Jedi,” Ahsoka grunts. “Here.”
“I see.”
Leia dresses to follow her, in a little coat that’ll withstand the chill of the outside air, and Ahsoka makes it to the cargo hold just in time to hear Rex saying, “I’m not shaking your hand until you put your gloves on, Vos.”
She laughs to herself, breathless with the knowledge of what she’s about to find. She jumps the railing of the upper walkway, drops down just in front of the Master-Padawan team, and keeps her back to Fett and Rex. “Hello, there.”
One human, one Kiffar. She knows the latter.
“Would you be Sokari Torrent?” the Master asks.
“I am,” she says, with a slight bow. She can tell there’s a bit of judgement for how she’s dressed, but they’re covering it well. A Shadow and his trainee know the value of armor better than most Jedi bother with. “I’m afraid Padawan Billaba didn’t inform me of your names before we met.”
“And yet your friend knew my padawan,” the Master says.
“By reputation,” she says, as smoothly as she can. “I’ve encountered Quinlan Vos before, though I doubt he remembers--”
“I’d remember someone like you,” Quinlan interrupts, with a grin she’s sure is meant to be charming and rogueish.
He’s... very young for her, and not her type. Mostly, she wants to pat him on the head, but that probably wouldn’t go over very well. She still looks like she’s younger than him.
“Anyway,” she says, turning back to the master, “I’m afraid I still don’t know who you are, Master.”
“I am Tholme,” he says, with the bow that a Master gives a Padawan. She feels a little slighted, but it’s fine. She looks the right age, it’s fine.
It’s not like they know.
“It’s nice to meet you, Master Tholme,” she says. “My charges are Rex Torrent, the young man behind me, and currently coming down the ladder is Leia Antilles. I’m sure you’re aware of Jango Fett.”
“The Mand’alor,” Quinlan volunteers, and Ahsoka can almost hear Fett’s teeth grinding.
“Don’t call me that,” he says. She’s sure he’s got a hand drifting for his blaster.
“There isn’t a whole lot of room on the ship,” she says before the men can get into whatever weird contest she’s sure someone might start. Her bet’s on Fett. “But Leia and Rex are small enough to share with me, so I’m sure we can make it work.”
“There’s spare rolls for anyone comfortable with sleeping in the hold,” Fett grunts. “Or on the floor in the passenger room.”
“Well, I guess I could ask for a little help fi--”
“Vos,” Ahsoka snaps, letting her voice take on the kind of ‘obey me or get fresher duty’ irritation that she’d perfected back when the rebellion still had her managing people, before they’d realized she was more use in the field. “Do not.”
There’s a moment’s pause, and Tholme looks unimpressed with that raised eyebrow, but the kind of unimpressed that’s split between his own padawan and the stranger before him.
“Um,” Quinlan says. “I just--”
“No,” she cuts him off. “No flirting.”
It’s weird and uncomfortable and she’d have maybe been okay with it if she was actually the seventeen-or-eighteen-ish(?) that she looked, but she’s not. She’s in her thirties and Vos is... what, twenty? Twenty-one? No.
He stares at her, and she wonders momentarily if she’d gone too far in the direction of judging his intentions in the Force and preempted actual flirtations.
“I’m sorry?” He offers, looking confused, but ashamed. “I, uh, I’ll keep that in mind.”
She definitely preempted the actual flirtation.
Fuck.
Ahsoka closes her eyes and breathes in. Breathes out. Opens her eyes. “Right. That was... I’m not sure how much Padawan Billaba told you about me.”
“Enough,” Tholme says. He moves forward and puts a hand on Quinlan’s shoulder. Ahsoka has no idea if it’s to comfort him or hold him back. “I didn’t share most of it with my padawan, but I have a general understanding of what’s going on.”
Quinlan darts a look at his teacher, but Ahsoka doesn’t acknowledge it. It’s fine. Everything is fine.
“Thank you for your understanding,” she says, and bows, and stiffly turns away to walk to the galley.
---------------------------
Leia squirms into the bench seat, shoving her way under Ahsoka’s arm like a particularly wriggly tooka.
“What was that?” Leia demands, the authority of a rebellion general rather useless in the squeaky voice of a child.
“What was what?”
“The whole thing with Padawan Vos,” Leia says. “You blew up at him before he even did anything.”
That’s pretty true.
“I felt the flirtation coming before it happened and reacted inappropriately because I panicked. I’m significantly older than him, but I can’t tell him that, so it’s just awkward and uncomfortable and... I’m not okay, Princess. I haven’t been for a long time.”
“Yeah, we can tell.”
“Leia.”
“What? I need therapy too! Captain Rex needs therapy! I’m pretty sure Fett needs therapy! You, Fulcrum, you really need therapy. None of us are okay.” She huffs, wiggling impossibly closer. “I don’t like it, but it’s true.”
“I know,” Ahsoka groans. “I just... I just need to hold out until the Temple.”
“Will you be able to hold it together if you see someone you actually care about?” Leia demands. “What are you going to do when you see Kenobi?”
“Stop.”
“I’m serious, you--”
“Leia, that’s enough,” she snaps. “I was fighting that war before you were even born, and I’ve dealt with the consequences since. I know the risks and I’ll thank you to remember who taught you to control your own mind.”
Leia stiffens, sucking in a sharp breath. “That was uncalled for.”
“You’re not the child you appear to be,” Ahsoka reminds her, not a little sharply. “You want to dish it out, be ready to take it. What will you do when we see Bail Organa? When we see the toddler that is Anakin Skywalker?”
“I get it.”
“I’m not sure you do,” Ahsoka mutters. She isn’t surprised when Leia ducks out of the embrace and leaves the galley. She lets the girl go, guilt warring with the memory of how Master Kenobi had more than once spoken that way to Anakin at the height of the war. The fact that she’s an adult in the body of a child isn’t an excuse for poking at Ahsoka’s open wounds. It was cruel and unnecessary, and unbecoming of a... not a Jedi. A princess. A politician.
She rests her head on her arms and zones out. She should meditate, but that seems like... too much effort.
She can feel Vos and Tholme setting up in the room they’ve been assigned. Neither seems particularly angry. Most likely, Tholme’s given the absolute shortest explanation of ‘child soldier, dead master, highly traumatized and emotionally unstable’ to Vos to smooth over the incident in the cargo hold. Rex is with Leia; he’s agitated, but less so than Leia herself. Fett’s annoyed, in the cockpit, but he seems annoyed as often as not. There’s a shudder at lift-off, and a few minutes later, they’re in hyperspace, headed for the Core.
Fett finds her, falls into the other bench in full armor, and drops his elbows onto the table. The helmet clunks down a moment later.
She doesn’t lift her head. “What do you want?”
“Do I need to keep Vos away from you?”
“What?”
“Vos. He made you uncomfortable. Was that him being someone that hurt you in the future, or just the interaction being awkward?”
She lifts her head. She stares at him. “What?”
He leans back and crosses his arms. “Do you need me to tell Vos to stay the hell away from you?”
She’s gaping. “You realize I’m thirty-two, right? I can handle my own battles.”
“You’re also traumatized as hell and everyone can see it,” Fett argues back. “If Vos himself is a trigger, I can handle it.”
“He’s not,” she tells him. This is strange. Fett’s being strange. “He was actually a friend of my grandmaster’s. I’m just uncomfortable with the flirting because I’m a lot older than he realizes, and I can’t tell him that.”
He nods sharply, and then looks away. The silence sits.
“Thanks for asking?” Ahsoka says, well aware of how her confusion over the offer turns it into a question. “I mean, thank you for... caring.”
I guess, she finishes in the privacy of her own head. Or at least pretending to.
Fett makes a face, still not facing her. He eyes the galley instead. She can guess where his thoughts are going. The galley is... not very big, especially with six people on board instead of one, but she’s sure they’ve stocked up enough. On the off chance they do go through more than expected, because of how many growing bodies are in residence, they can stop off and buy more. They have those resources now.
Jango never does ask what she did with the slavers.
“Who’s going to cry if I spice things properly?” he asks.
“Probably Leia,” she says immediately. “Vos will try to power through it even though he’s going to be overwhelmed. No idea about Tholme, but I think he’ll keep a straight face whether he likes it or not. Rex and I are fine, ‘hot’ was pretty much the only flavor of seasoning the GAR had.”
“GAR?”
“Grand Army of the Republic.”
He finally looks at her.
“You already knew I was a child soldier, Fett; don’t act surprised.”
“That doesn’t mean I like hearing about it.”
“I was fourteen. That’s old enough by Mando standards, Fett. Just think back, when did you get on the battlefield?”
“I take your point,” he says, lip curling unpleasantly. “It just hits different now that I’m old enough to look back and think of how damned young fourteen really is.”
Ahsoka shrugs. “Yeah, well--”
“You said the clones were ten.”
There’s the rub, isn’t it?
Of course it was about the clones.
“...closer to seven, by the end. Kamino was just making speedies at that point. Triple growth on the average instead of double, but averages in that case meant they’d been growing at double rates for six years and then got forced through four growth cycles in a single year to beef up the army when we kept losing men.” She looks down at the table, picking at a scratch in the plastipaint with her nail. “Rex and the rest of the ones from the beginning were basically twenty in mind and body, even if they’d only been decanted ten years earlier. The speedies... I always wondered. They’d gone from functionally twelve to functionally twenty in a year. That’s not... even in Kamino, that can’t have been normal. They didn’t act like adults, not the way the originals did.”
Fett rubs at his face, groaning. He swears under his breath in three different languages.
She pities him, if only because he hasn’t actually done any of this yet. He’s paying for the crimes of a man he likely won’t ever become.
She kicks him under the table. “Wanna make tiingilar and see how long it takes Vos to start crying while he insists it’s fine?”
---------------------------
Dinner is when the questions start. Some are relatively easy. Others, not so much.
“My Master was Leia’s biological father,” is an easy truth to share. “She inherited his power, so I need to get her to the temple for her own safety, because home no longer is.”
“Yes, her adoptive parents were unfortunately killed rather recently. We’d prefer not to talk about it.”
“Rex is with me. Where he goes, I go, and vice versa.”
That one gets her an odd look.
“I thought...” Quinlan trails off, gesturing between Rex and Fett.
Fett keeps his face impassive, but his discomfort and guilt leak into the Force. “I didn’t know Rex existed until I ran into these three in a spaceport cantina a few weeks ago.”
Quinlan blinks at him, looks at Rex again, and then turns back to Fett with a grin that might have been described as ‘saucy’ if he were less smug about it. “Wild oats, huh?”
“Are you shitting me right now,” Leia whispers, and Ahsoka elbows her.
“That was inappropriate, padawan.”
Quinlan’s grin fades as Fett just continues to eye him.
“Um, so--”
“How old is the kid?” Fett interrupts.
Darting eyes answer him, as Quinlan tries to gauge Rex. “Ten? Maybe twelve?”
“And how old am I?”
“...early thirties?”
“I’m twenty-seven.”
Quinlan’s grin fades further as he does the math.
“I’d have been between fifteen and seventeen when he was born,” Fett says, tone flat. “Between fourteen and sixteen at conception. I know damn well I wasn’t doing anything that could have resulted in a kid at that age.”
Quinlan rallies. “So, brothers?”
Tholme sighs loudly, hand over his eyes.
“I’m a clone,” Rex says, and Ahsoka can feel the amusement he gets out of Quinlan’s confused shock. They’d both had plenty of respect for Master Vos, but Padawan Vos was nothing but trouble. “Harvested genetic material, grown in a tube, inconsistent aging meaning I don’t even know how old I am for sure.”
“I broke him out,” Ahsoka adds, which is half true.
“There was a chip in my head,” Rex adds, with a bright smile. Quinlan’s discomfort grows. “She got it out. Also, lots of brothers. None of them are... around anymore. The creators were trying to make an army.”
Vos and Tholme have no response. Fett looks like he’s been carved out of stone. Leia’s just ignoring them and picking at her food.
Ahsoka lifts a hand and, without looking, Rex high-fives her.
---------------------------
“Drop your elbow.”
Ahsoka tries to cover her smile at the dirty look that Leia shoots Fett. Fett remains unimpressed by the glare of royalty, just gestures for the girl to do as he said.
“I know how to fight,” Leia grumbles. “I took lessons. I was good at them.”
“And I’m better,” Fett says, leaving no room for argument. “You want the Torrents to take over?”
The Torrents. Rex and Soka. She likes being referred to that way. Like they’re a team that never got split up.
Force, she wished they’d never gotten split up.
“Again,” Fett orders, and Leia moves through the Mandalorian kata with ill grace in her emotions and all grace in her sweeping limbs.
Well, as much grace as an undersized six-year-old can, at any rate.
“Think he’ll ask me to spar her again?” Rex asks, dropping down into the seat next to Ahsoka and passing her a drink.
“Maybe,” she acknowledges. “I think he’s wondering if it’s worth asking Vos to spar with her, so she gets more experience with size differences.”
“Hm?”
“She flinched at his face again,” she tells him. “The whole... thing with Boba, I guess. She still won’t tell me why Fett triggers her sometimes, but he’s not pressing her to spar with him, and there’s only so much she can get out of fighting me. Asking Tholme would be presumptuous, but Vos is just a padawan. I think it’d work out.”
“And you?”
She looks at him, already feeling a cresting wave of bullshit she doesn’t want to deal with. “What about me?”
“Are you going to spar with the Jedi?”
She should. She hasn’t sparred with a saber since she got tossed back into a body only half-familiar to her. She’s let Leia borrow the shorter one to learn some basic blocking moves, Shii-Cho and then, with hesitance, the first Soresu form. Another time, she loaned it to Rex to practice some attacks; they both know that the next time he picks up her saber in battle, having lost his weapons or she her grip, it will be neither the first or last time he wields a sword of light. None of that, however, is... sparring.
None of that is against someone who knows what they’re doing.
How long has it been since she sparred with anyone other than Kanan and Ezra?
How long has it been since she sparred without the looming specter of Darth Vader in the back of her mind, without fear of the Inquisitors, without the knowledge that any saber held by someone other than her two friends would be red as blood and twice as drenched.
Would she be able to hold back as she fought?
“I should,” she acknowledges, eyes on where Fett is nudging Leia’s feet into position for some kind of leveraging flip. She’s so small. “It would probably be a good idea to spar against a master at some point.”
“Do you think you can?” Rex asks.
“I never knew him,” she says. “And he isn’t Dark. It should be fine.”
Rex nods, taking her word for it. They watch as Leia stumbles on a final move, and Fett gestures for her to sit down and get a drink.
“That man is a terror,” she informs them.
(She’d once described him as a slave-driver. She had not made that mistake twice.)
“Least it’s not Kamino!” Rex tells her cheerfully. When Leia refuses to look impressed, he laughs at her.
Ahsoka has a half-second’s warning before heavy boots thud to the ground next to her. “What’s Kamino?”
“Hello, Vos, it’s nice to see you too,” she drawls. “I’m good, thanks for asking, and yourself?”
The boy-not-quite-man rolls his eyes. “Hi, Torrents; hi, tiny one.”
Leia glares at him next.
“So, Kamino?”
“Planet by Rishi,” Rex says.
“Why were you there?”
“They specialize in cloning.”
Ahsoka covers her mouth as the conversation drops into the same awkward gap that always happens when Quinlan stumbles into a subject he didn’t know to avoid.
“Like... you were made there, or you were researching how it works for your own--”
Ahsoka slaps a hand over his mouth. “Now’s a great time to stop talking.”
He licks her palm.
She bares her teeth and arches her fingers just enough to press nails into his cheek.
He bites at her palm, and she yanks her hand away.
“You’re all children,” Leia accuses, conveniently forgetting that Ahsoka and Rex are both over a decade older than her.
“I can throw you the length of a swimming pool,” Ahsoka tells her. “One of the fancy competition-ready ones that would make a Tatooinian cry. You are absolutely the child here.”
“Using the Force is cheating, sir,” Rex informs her.
“Only if there’s a competition,” Ahsoka shoots back. “And proving that a certain princess is a small child is not a competition. It’s a declarative fact.”
“I’m going to rip open the seams on all your tops except the ugliest one,” Leia decides.
“Try me,” Ahsoka challenges. “Adi’ka.”
A low, rough cough interrupts them. “Are you done?”
Fett has his arms crossed, and an eyebrow raised. He knows they’re all adults here, and is entirely unamused. As the silence drags, the eyebrow climbs a little higher.
“Done with what?” Quinlan finally asks, thereby volunteering himself to spar in hand-to-hand with Jango Fett, as one does.
“Poor, poor Vos,” Rex laughs, watching as Fett barks out orders at Quinlan every five seconds to fix his footwork, to stop dropping his guard, to stop wasting energy on flips instead of just dodging the easy way.
“Throw him!” Ahsoka calls. To her delight, Fett obliges.
The thing is, Quinlan isn’t bad at brawling. He’s got training, endurance, skill. The man knows what he’s doing, objectively. He’s just not a match for Fett, and is used enough to relying on his saber that his hand-to-hand skills are rusty. They are perhaps less rusty than those Jedi who don’t take questionable jobs in the Mid-Outer Rim, and Ahsoka’s got a suspicion that Vos regularly gets into bar fights in his downtime, but none of that is enough for him to actually do more than survive against Fett without his saber.
Even the saber wouldn’t help, if Fett had his armor.
“Whose idea was this?”
Ahsoka cranes her head back and smiles. “Hello, Master Tholme. Vos... volunteered.”
“Did he know he was volunteering?”
“No comment.”
Tholme snorts, crossing his arms and eyeing the spar in front of him. “I thought Fett hated Jedi. Giving us a ride for the sake of you three is one thing, but why is he teaching my padawan?”
Ahsoka shrugs. “Constructive bullying?”
There’s a small twitch of a smile, quickly gone. “He said something wrong, I’m guessing?”
“There was no way he could have known,” she dismisses. “We’re just, like, ninety-percent tragic backstories.”
“You’d think the Force would warn him,” Rex notes.
“That’s not how the Force works,” Leia chides.
“No, no, he’s right,” Ahsoka corrects. “The Force does sometimes step in to stop a person from saying something stupid. However, Padawan Vos is at an age where people think they are very rational while being more irrational than they likely ever will be again.”
“Do I want to ask what you were doing at that age?” Tholme asks.
“Running bla...” she trails off, then whips around to gape at him.
He smiles, bland and unassuming. “Does Fett know?”
“Know... what?” Ahsoka asks.
“That you’re significantly older than you look,” he says, voice just low enough that the sparring duo can’t hear him. “All three of you.”
Ahsoka turns back to the spar, only catching Tholme out of the corner of her eye. “He knows.”
“Mm. Were you planning on telling the Council?”
“Yes.” That part was never in question. “How did you figure it out?”
“I am a good investigator,” he says. “And you rely a little too heavily on your physical forms to obfuscate. Were it just one of you, that wouldn’t be a problem, but the pattern repeated across three is a little easier to discern.”
“I hoped the whole ‘child soldiers’ thing would be a bigger distraction,” Ahsoka mutters. She glances at Leia and Rex. Both of them are used to being in charge to some degree, giving orders and making contingency plans, but in this... in this, Ahsoka is in charge. They’d decided that at the very start. It didn’t matter that Rex had lived longer and had more experience, or that Leia had held the highest Rebellion rank of the three of them. Ahsoka had been agreed as leader, and they were relying on her.
They’re waiting on her orders. Stiff and unhappy, in Leia’s case, but they trust her.
“Will you be telling Vos?” She asks.
“No,” Tholme says. “Your secrets remain your own unless they endanger us, and I’ve a feeling they won’t be.”
“Don’t be so sure,” Rex jokes, smile not reaching his eyes. “I’ve been working with this family for too long to trust that trouble won’t find them around the next corner.”
“This family?” Tholme repeats.
“Sokari was telling the truth about her master being Leia’s biological father,” Rex says. He shrugs. “I worked with him, with his wife, with both of his kids, with his master and his padawan. All of them, to a one, are trouble magnets.”
“Ah, but that’s not the secret that’s putting us in danger,” Tholme points out. “Simply existence as a Jedi.”
Rex shrugs. “Fair enough. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, though.”
Ahsoka lurches to her feet, turning with a smile and dancing backward into the the stretch of empty cargo hold they used for such things. “A spar, Master Tholme?”
He looks past her, to Quinlan, and raises a brow. “Would you not prefer to spar with someone a little closer to your level first?”
She barks out a laugh. “Master Tholme, I’m afraid I’ve spent more of my life fighting to survive than having normal friendly spars. My style is more lethal than the average, and you’ve already seen what war’s done to my mind. I ask to spar with you because, if I lose control, if I slip in time or react on an instinct that isn’t appropriate, I trust that you’ll be more able to stop me than a senior padawan.”
He smiles. “Yes, I gathered as much. Still, better to ask. Shall we wait for them to finish up?”
Ahsoka shrugs, turns, and yells. “Clear the deck!”
Rex snorts behind her, and lowly mutters, “Sir, yes, sir.”
She smirks at him over her shoulder. “At ease, Captain.”
“That’s ‘Commander’ to you, I got promoted,” he sniffs, chin held high.
Heavy steps herald Fett’s arrival at their little group. “The hells are you doing?”
“I’m going to have a spar with a Jedi Master, and I want you and Vos to not get stabbed.”
“I’m not that easy to injure in an actual fight, let alone by accident,” Fett grouses. He looks up and over at Vos, who is already significantly taller, if a fair shot less built. “This one, on the other hand...”
“Hey!”
Ahsoka laughs and backs into the center of the cargo hold, drawing her sabers. “Don’t worry, Vos, I won’t play dirty. You’ll probably get your master back in one piece.”
He wrinkles his nose at her. “Getting a bit ahead of yourself there, aren’t you? He’s a Jedi Master and former Watchman. You’re... what, eighteen?”
Ahsoka raises a brow and activates her sabers, tapping the blades together and watching as more than one person winces. “Wanna bet on how long I last?”
“No,” he says immediately, stepping back to join Rex on the bench. “You’ve already blindsided me enough. I’m not dumb enough to fall for whatever you’ve got up your sleeve.”
“I don’t have sleeves.”
“Armwarmers-slash-greaves, then.”
“Greaves go on the legs, these are vambraces.”
He throws his hands up in the air. “I’m just going to stop talking now!”
“Good plan,” Leia snarks, and then literally hisses when Rex ruffles her hair.
Tholme lights his saber and sinks into an opening stance.
Ahsoka mirrors him.
---------------------------
She wins, but barely. She's had a few weeks to practice her forms, has sparred hands-only with Rex and Fett, but this is her first real try at using her sabers against a person, instead of a blaster or thin air, since she arrived in the past. She’s only mostly adjusted to her body.
But Tholme is a healer and a watchman, not a duelist. Ahsoka held her own against Ventress, against Grievous, against Maul when she was this age. Still adjusting to her body or not, her lineage is one of battle, and it bled true.
“You’re terrifying,” Quinlan tells her after they’re done, smiling like the sun as he hands her a towel. “Please never turn that on me.”
She laughs at him. “Would you believe that I’m out of practice?”
“Out of practice with what?” he asks, horrified and fascinated. “Fighting Sith Lords?”
“Among other things,” she says, and smirks when he chokes on his drink. “Multiple darkside users who claimed to be Sith, at least. One being a full Lord, one that was disowned by his master, and one that was apprenticed to a Banite apprentice, so she wasn’t technically allowed to be a Darth because of the rule of two.”
Tholme meets her eyes past Quinlan’s shoulder, head tilted and eyes half-shut in consideration. He’s taking her seriously. He knows what she’s not saying.
“How...” Quinlan trails off and shakes his head. “You know what, no. Asking you people questions never ends well.”
“Good plan,” Ahsoka says, clapping a hand down on his shoulder. “Also, you need to spar with Fett more. Your footwork is shit.”
“It is not,” Quinlan gripes. “You’re all just scary good at this stuff.”
“You mean surviving?” Leia pipes up, and smiles innocently when Quinlan turns to pout at her.
“You’re getting bullied by a six-year-old,” Rex informs him.
“Yeah,” Quinlan sighs. “I know.”
Ahsoka laughs, and it’s fine. It’s all fine. For a week, everything is honestly great. She trains, she laughs, she works through the nightmares.
Then fucking Denon happens.
---------------------------
Denon is a city-planet on the intersection of two major hyperlanes. It’s the kind of place where they stop for two things:
Fuel.
Paperwork.
Technically, there’s a whole mess of paperwork they have to fill out to continue along this specific hyperlane, since they aren’t official Republic ships, and don’t have the licenses to just pass along like ships that are pre-registered to the Trade Federation or the like. They could sneak past--literally all of them know smuggler’s routes--but it’s honestly less of a pain to do things legally. They have a Jedi Master. They have cash. Some of that cash wasn’t quite legally acquired, but nobody needs to know that.
It’s supposed to be a pit stop. That’s all.
It’s just a pit stop.
But no, the galaxy isn’t that kind and Ahsoka’s luck is currently being compounded with a Skywalker, two Fetts, and Vos, which means that of course they run into trouble. Of course they do. There was never any other option, was there?
“Motherfucker,” Ahsoka snaps, lifting her head up and slamming her drink on the table.
The glass is empty. That’s good. They’re in a restaurant right now, a little splurging after weeks with only each others’ company, and spilling the sugary child-friendly juice with that move would have drawn way too much attention from the servers.
“Language,” Tholme says, voice idly unconcerned.
“Sir?” Rex asks, kicking Ahsoka under the table. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wr--that jackass,” she hisses, getting to her feet. “Rex, grab a blaster, I’ve got shebs to kick.”
“Okay,” Rex says, grabbing one out of Fett’s holster and scooting out of the booth before anyone can tell him not to. “Whose?”
“I didn’t even know that he was... osik, I don’t have jurisdiction,” she realizes. “I don’t have any record of wrongdoing. I can’t arrest him since we don’t have evidence of criminal wrongdoing...”
“Are you two going to explain what’s going on?” Vos asks. “Or sit down, maybe?”
Ahsoka makes her decision. She eyes the window--the restaurant in question is a little dingy, but it’s also several dozen stories in the air. “Rex, remember the thing we did on Geonosis that you hated?”
He pauses, and then sighs heavily. “Yes, sir. I remember the... yeeting.”
Hah. That slang doesn’t even exist yet.
“Great. With me!”
It’s a good thing the windows are forcefields instead of transparisteel. A bit of a twist to the energy and they’re gone.
She only hears a little screaming before the wind tears all noises away while they plummet.
They land lightly--of course--and Ahsoka wraps them both in a don’t notice me aura. Nobody even notices that they’ve just come from above. It’s great that she can just Do These Things again, and get brushed off as Weird Jedi Shit, instead of worrying about the Empire. She’s missed being able to jump out of windows without fear.
Rex follows her as she starts running through the city. They don’t have comms, and he’s still so small, which means he can’t keep up with her even if she runs at normal speeds without Force enhancement.
“Should you carry me?” he asks, before she can figure out if it’s worth suggesting. She did it a few times before they joined up with Jango.
“It’s not... urgent, I think,” she says. She hesitates to speak, even as she keeps jogging with Rex at her heels. “Honestly, I’m trying to figure out if there’s anything I can ding him for so we can attack him. It’s all well and good that I can beat him right now, but all the crimes I know about haven’t happened yet, so it wouldn’t be legal...”
“Commander?”
“Hm?”
“I have no idea who you’re talking about.”
She scrolls the conversation back mentally, considers, and says, “Oh.”
“Who’s getting steamrolled?”
“Uh, Maul’s here,” Ahsoka admits.
“Ah,” Rex says. He makes a face. “I understand the desire to jump out a window, now. I don’t agree with it, but I understand.”
Ahsoka laughs. “I mean, I just... every time I’ve seen him for almost twenty years, it’s been like... on sight, you know? We’ve never not attacked each other, except when I needed him to cause problems on Mandalore. But I always knew I was in the right, then.”
“So... what do we arrest him for?” Rex prompts.
“Um... carrying a lightsaber without a license?” she hazards. “We’ll need Tholme there. Hopefully I can just shout at him and he’ll attack me, but I think he only went full nutjob after Master Kenobi cut his legs off. He might be too controlled to try to kill me just for yelling at him.”
“...do we have to stalk him?” Rex asks, sounding like he’d most likely sigh if he weren’t mid-run.
She scoops him up and swings him around onto her back before she answers. “I think we have to stalk him, Rex’ika.”
“Don’t call me that.”
---------------------------
Maul is... exceptionally sneaky, actually. Either that, or he hasn’t done anything wrong yet. Ahsoka’s betting on the former, because she’s seen this particular skocha kung take over a planet before anyone realized he was the most dangerous person around.
Or maybe he’s just not committing crimes, and is in fact just here to buy groceries.
He’s examining a papaya.
She fantasizes about jumping across the market and greeting him with a heel to the cheekbone.
“Are you imagining a flying kick, Sir?”
“Yeah...”
“He’s examining a papaya, Sir.”
“I know...”
“Does he know we’re here?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? Do you think I should go hit him?”
“No.”
“Should I hit on him?”
“No, Sir. I would not advise that.”
“He’s looking at the neloms.”
“I can see that.”
“Why does he have to be so bo--did he just fucking bite a nelom?”
“It appears so, Sir.”
“Like... like rind and all. Just bit the little fucker.”
“Seems it.”
A scuff of metal. “What the fuck are you two doing?”
Ahsoka tips her head around to peer through the grate. “We’re spying, Fett, what does it look like we’re doing?”
Rex cranes his head. “We’re hanging upside-down from a fire escape to get a look at a suspected Sith Apprentice that is currently shopping for various fruits, Mand’alor.”
Ahsoka waves. “Hi, Master Tholme.”
“Sokari,” the master greets. “This seems a very conspicuous way to spy.”
She shrugs as well as she can from this angle. “Yes, but you see, this way’s more fun.”
“Is it now.”
Rex shifted. “He’s on the move!”
“To kill someone?!”
“No, to the deli meats.”
“Kriff.”
---------------------------
Apparently, Tholme and Fett had told Quinlan to take care of Leia, as Leia had wanted to finish her juice and refused to get involved in the Torrents’ nonsense. According to her, if they couldn’t be bothered to explain the nonsense, they didn’t need her.
This was true and accurate.
Quinlan shows up while they’re still stalking Maul, having moved to a low rooftop for a decent vantage point with less likelihood of being spotted. He’s giving Leia an eopie-back ride, and the pout on her face at needing it is adorable. She pouts harder when she sees them.
“Are you even trying to hide?” Leia scoffs.
“Not really,” Ahsoka admits. She’s got Fett’s binoculars out. “I’m not sure he’s caught wind of the fact that we’re here yet.”
“Or he has and he’s just biding his time to escape while we’re distracted,” Tholme points out.
“Meh,” Ahsoka says, avidly devouring the visual that is a teenage Maul glaring at leafy vegetables. “I just want him to do something so I have an excuse to beat his ass.”
“Do I get to know who?” Quinlan asks, setting Leia down on the roof. “Or are we going to keep being completely unwilling to share information?”
“Baby Sith Lord,” Ahsoka says. “He’s fifteen. A child.”
“A baby,” Rex agrees.
“You’re... that’s... ugh,” Quinlan groans as loudly and as dramatically as he dares, flopping down to the rooftop. “Master Tholme, please tell me this isn’t a real Sith.”
“He’s Dark,” Tholme confirms. “Sith is... up for debate until we have evidence.”
“He’s a bitch is what he is,” Ahsoka mutters. She observes the teenager in question stop to poke at some pink tomatoes. “E chu ta, break the law, already!”
“Does he have a lightsaber?” Quinlan asks. “If he has a lightsaber and no Jedi ID or specialty license, we can probably arrest him.”
“Auntie Soka doesn’t have a license or ID,” Leia points out.
“She’s got a Jedi escort,” Tholme says. “And if our supposed Sith is polite and plays nice, we can probably escort him to the Temple as well.”
Rex snorts derisively.
“Do you know why he’s on Denon?” Fett asks.
“No clue,” Ahsoka admits. “Evil reasons, probably.”
“You’re useless,” Leia tells her.
“Thanks, princess, how’s that attempt to open the jam jar by yourself coming?”
Leia says something very inappropriate for a princess, for a child, and for a lady. It’s fairly appropriate for a soldier, which is admittedly what she’s been for a few years now. Ahsoka sticks her tongue out at the girl like the mature operative she is.
“I wish we could still get him to lose his osik by just showing up and insulting him,” Rex mutters, low enough that Quinlan probably can’t hear.
“I wanna punch him in the face,” Ahsoka confesses. “I want him to try to punch me in the face, and fail.”
“Don’t bully the baby Sith,” Rex admonishes.
“He’s a Sith.”
“He’s fifteen, it’s tacky.”
“But it’s Maul.”
“I know, but you’re tw--significantly older than him.”
“But... but it’s the motherfucker himself.”
“...you can bully him a little, but only because he’s a Sith.”
Fett steals the binoculars. “You can borrow them again when you stop acting like children.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Rex says, dry as Ryloth. “I’m ten.”
“Pretty tall for your age,” Ahsoka mutters, and then giggles.
“Don’t steal my jokes,” Rex says. He elbows her, hard.
“You know,” Quinlan says, slow and tired. “Master Tholme and I are trained investigators.”
Ahsoka and Rex look at each other, and then up at him.
“Okay?”
“...do you want me to find actual evidence of this guy doing something criminal?”
“Oh, yes please.”
---------------------------
Quinlan, as it turns out, is not overselling his skills. He does catch Maul doing something illegal later that day. It’s a little more ‘stealing corporate secrets in the dead of night’ and less ‘torturing people for kicks,’ but it’s still enough to legally arrest him. Quinlan attempts to do so.
Quinlan does not succeed, and is forced to jump out a window to avoid getting cut in half. Maul follows, steals a passing speeder by throwing out the driver, and takes off. Someone--looks like Tholme--drops back to save the driver, but the rest of them give chase. Ahsoka gleefully takes point on that, of course. She’s the best pilot.
(Rex looks bored, but someone is likely to puke by the end of the night. She hopes it’s not Leia, who insisted on coming for some fucking reason.)
“How the kriff is a teenager that good?!” Quinlan yells, clinging to the edge of the speeder to avoid getting tipped out as Ahsoka swerves around a corner with a wild laugh.
“He’s a Sith!” Leia shouts over the wind. “What do you think?”
Quinlan is not impressed by the claim of Sith.
Ahsoka screeches as she drifts across four lanes of traffic and into an alleyway to pursue Maul. He’s pretty good at dodging cross-building walkways, but she’s better. She bares her teeth, hissing, and tries to pick a plan.
“Vos, how’s your aim with Force throws?” She calls to the backseat.
“Uh, decent?”
“Great! Fett’s the projectile!”
Vos takes a second longer to process that than Jango does.
“I’m wh--”
He cuts off, screaming, and is flung forward by Quinlan to crash headfirst into a teenage Sith.
“Take the wheel!” Ahsoka commands, not waiting to see who follows the order, because Fett and Maul are both getting to their feet, the other speeder is about to crash, and she’s not sure who’s going to win that fight.
She jumps from the speeder they’ve been violently dragging around Denon, and lands feet-first on Maul’s... shoulder.
Hm.
That definitely dislocated something.
“You should wear armor!” she chirps at him, drawing both sabers and grinning as he whirls to face her, eyes wide with hate.
He’s utterly silent.
That’s disturbing. Expected, but disturbing.
“Did you just throw me?” Fett demands, higher pitched than she’d normally expect.
“No, Vos threw you.”
“Because you told him to!”
“Yeah, it’s a good strategy!”
“It is not!”
“Why not? Throwing people was standard practice in the GAR.”
She can’t see his face, but she’s pretty sure he’s about ready to strangle her.
Ahsoka cannot, at that point, continue snarking with the father of her best friend, because there’s a red lightsaber coming for her throat, and she should probably worry about that. Maul’s very good at killing people and she’d like to avoid becoming part of that statistic.
As she is quickly reminded, he is... fifteen. And shorter than she’s used to. And already injured.
It’s really, really easy to take him out, actually.
At some point, the other speeder was safely recovered before it caused property damage, and their own is landing a few meters away with Vos and the kids.
“You have Force-negating cuffs, right?” Ahsoka asks.
“No, Master Tholme has them.”
“Oh,” she says, and grimaces. “I guess I’ll just... keep sitting on him then.”
Maul snarls, and she raps him on the skull. “Stop that, it’s uncivilized.”
Rex snorts.
Jango makes a noise that is incredibly frustrated with the lot of them, and turns on Rex. “Was she telling the truth?”
“About?”
“Throwing people being standard practice for the GAR.”
Rex’s face goes pained. “It was in the five-oh-first. And a few others.”
“What’s the GAR?” Quinlan asks.
“None of your damn business,” Fett snaps.
Quinlan throws his hands up in the air again. “Come on! I just proved I know what I’m doing!”
“And their tragic backstory is none of your business, prudii!”
Quinlan blinks at him, and then glances at Ahsoka. “Um.”
“He called you a shadow since your training, um, seems to be pointing in that direction,” she says as carefully as she can. “We were theorizing.”
“Wh... you actually paid attention?” Quinlan asks, looking horribly confused. “I thought I was just annoying you.”
Ahsoka laughs at him. “Oh, Vos... I’ve been running black ops for... much longer than most would guess. Trust me, I know another spy when I see them.”
She smiles as kindly as she can, because she hadn’t actually meant to make him feel left out or unwanted or... well, she’d been pretty patronizing, especially for someone seemingly younger than him. The smile does not work. Quinlan just looks kind of horrified about how young she just implied she started spy work.
Granted, she’d been sixteen for Zygerria...
Deciding to ignore him for a bit, she shifts on Maul’s back and pats him on the cheek. “Don’t worry, Baby Sith. We’re going to get you lots of nice therapy. Mind healers, no Sith tortures, all that fun stuff. Maybe some plushies.”
“You’re also getting therapy, right?” Quinlan asks. “Please say you are. I’m required for the specifics of my training and if anything you’ve said is true, I feel like you really need it and I’m scared of what’ll happen if you don’t.”
Ahsoka laughs, knowing exactly how empty it sounds. “Oh hell, if I didn’t get therapy, I imagine Kix would rise from the grave to force me into it.”
The name means nothing to anyone except Rex, and... ah, yeah, she told Fett about Kix a few weeks ago.
“No more throwing me without warning,” Fett grumbles, dropping to sit on the ground next to her. “Especially not at baby Sith Lords.”
“I am not a child!” Maul spits.
“He speaks!” Ahsoka cheers. “Aw, I knew you could do it.”
“’Soka, I told you not to bully him,” Rex complains. “It’s tacky. You’re being tacky.”
“I’m allowed to be tacky,” Ahsoka declares. “I’ve died twice, that’s, like, permission from the universe.”
“You’ve died twice?” Quinlan asks, back in ‘fascinated horror’ territory. “Wait, no, I shouldn’t ask--”
“Too late! The first time was on a planet that doesn’t exist and my Master lost his mind, killed a god, and used the good favor of another god to have me brought back to life at her expense. Not in that order.”
“I--what? No, that’s--what?”
Ahsoka smiles brightly. “You asked.”
Tholme finally shows up with the cuffs.
---------------------------
“You should eat something.”
He glares at her.
“Baby Sith Lords need to eat.”
He keeps glaring at her.
“Maul, you’ll never get big and strong and ready to kill if you don’t eat your vegetables.”
He bares his teeth.
“No, I don’t eat my veggies, but I’m a Togruta, so if I eat too many vegetables I throw up.”
Rex kicks her thigh, right on the faulds. “What did I say about bullying the Sith Lord?”
“Not to.”
“And what are you doing?”
“Making him eat his vegetables.”
“Soka.”
“Rex’ika.”
He kicks at her again. “Get up, we’re swapping out the watch.”
“But I wanted to hang out with my favorite little criminal mastermind.”
Rex drops to the floor and presses his forehead to her shoulder. “How the hell is being around this guy the first thing to make you cheer up in weeks?”
“I’m allowed to be mean to him.”
“He’s going to bite you.”
“I’ll bite back.”
Rex jabs a finger into her ribs, and she squeaks. “Go get something to eat, Commander.”
“Fine,” she huffs, rolling to her feet and moseying along to the galley. She walks in on Tholme and Fett having an argument about the ways in which Jedi and Mandalorians differ. Quinlan’s on the side, watching with wide eyes, and little Leia’s drinking a juice box at his side, tucked up under his arm and occasionally saying things to fan the flames. Ahsoka assumes she’s enjoying herself.
She opens the cooling unit, looks over the contents, and pulls out a raw leg of eopie mutton. She leans against the counter, bites into the chilled-but-not-frozen meat, and uses the back of one hand to wipe the blood off her chin. The ‘real adults’ don’t notice.
“I’m like ninety percent sure you’re doing this to mess with me but also...” Quinlan trails off, staring at her with horror. “Why?”
“A girl’s gotta eat.”
“Yeah, but all the obligate carnivores I know are like... generally holding to basic rules of courtesy when it comes to not grossing people out,” Quinlan says. “Like, I don’t chew with my mouth open. You don’t... eat in the most intimidating--did you just crack the bone with your teeth?!”
Ahsoka smirks at him, using her free hand to take away the shard of bone so she can suck out the marrow without eating the bones themselves. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this isn’t polite society. We’re in a galley on a bounty hunter’s ship, and I’ve been living on the run or in an army for most of my life. Table manners are optional.”
“No, they’re not,” Leia orders. “Fett, it’s your ship, tell her to--”
“--and another thing!” Fett snaps at Tholme, clearly paying less than no attention to the food argument.
Ahsoka keeps on eating, trying to catch wind of where the discussion’s at. Mostly, it seems to be at ‘talking past each other.’ Neither of them seems to have fully grasped more than the absolute most basic parts of the other culture, and that’s only enough to insult each other, not actually have a constructive conversation. She’d have expected more out of Tholme, at least. He’s not exactly young.
“Hey, quick question,” she says, in a moment where both of them have paused for breath and the opportunity to seethe. “Fett, when’s the last time you worked with a Jedi, or any member of a Force-based religion, before I popped into your life?”
His nose scrunches up as he makes a face.
“And Tholme, when’s the last time you worked with anyone from the Mandalorian system?”
Tholme’s reaction isn’t any more gracious than Fett’s.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she says. “Vos, were either of them actually interested in that conversation, or just looking for an excuse to yell?”
“Now listen here, jetiika--”
“Fett,” she snaps. “I am not a child.”
“And neither am I,” he growls right back. “This is my ship, and I damn well don’t need you treating me like a misbehaving youngling. You’ve got a problem, you bring it to my face, not get all smug about people’s tempers blowing over.”
Well, then.
She smiles thinly. “Of course.”
He stands with his arms crossed, in full armor save for the helmet. She puts aside the eopie meat and wipes her hands, smiling until she can put her hands on her hips and let it drop to a challenge.
“You know, I’m just--I’m just gonna go,” Quinlan mutters, pulling Leia out with him, the girl hanging from under one of his arms. “This, uh, this looks like a problem for... you folks. Um. Yeah.”
He sidles out.
Tholme doesn’t.
Fett rubs at the bridge of his nose, and then gestures at the table. “Sit.”
“I’d prefer not to.”
He drops his hand and glares at her. “We have another week on this ship together. We are going to have this conversation. Sit.”
She sits, right on the warm spot left behind by Quinlan and Leia. She crosses her arms, lifts a brow, and waits.
Fett takes the seat across from her. Tholme leans against the counter.
“We all know you’re older than you look,” Fett says. “I heard Tholme mention it, I know that much has been shared. You’re acting like an actual teenager, and I’ve... I’ve put up with a lot. I am trying to keep things civil, particularly with you. I’ve tried to be friendly. You’ve been fucked up since we met, fine, everyone’s got trauma. The thing where you’ve started talking shit to our faces for what seems like your own amusement? That has to stop. You’re older than me, Torrent. Fucking act like it.”
She blinks at him, slow and not exactly happy, and turns to Tholme.
The man shrugs. “I was planning to put up with it until we arrived to the temple and handed you over to some mind healers. Fett doesn’t have that kind of time.”
There’s a curdle in her stomach, defensive and angry and guilty.
“You’ve been... a bitch,” Fett finally says. “You know that. I’m not going to mince words. You’ve been holier-than-thou and rude and condescending, and aiming that at Antilles is one thing, when you’ve apparently known her since she was a toddler and taught her things. Aiming at the rest of us isn’t going to fly. We’re all adults trying to share a space. Stop acting like... just like you have been.”
There is no defense to be made that they aren’t both already aware of.
She closes her eyes and tries to strangle the burst of irrational rage.
Their accusations aren’t unfounded.
They deserve an apology.
She is in the wrong.
She’s felt freer than she had in years, and in that freedom allowed herself too much rein, let herself lace her words with barbed wires and poison instead of sparks and spices, comments that were cruel instead of just joking. Too familiar. Too comfortable.
“My behavior’s been inappropriate,” she finally says, the words clumsy and too big in her mouth. “You’re right about that. I’m sorry, and I’ll endeavor to keep a tighter rein on my less pleasant behaviors in the future.”
At least she only lashes out with words. It could be worse.
She opens her eyes, fixes her gaze on the wall behind Fett, wrestles her expression into stiff neutrality. “Am I dismissed?”
“...uh, no, not after that,” Fett says, sounding just a little horrified. “What the hell was that?”
Tholme hisses out a breath. “Let her go.”
“No, this needs to be discussed, that’s not a healthy rea--”
“Fett, let her go,” Tholme insists, low and heavy.
Fett looks between the two for a moment, seems to come to a realization he doesn’t like, and then gestures almost violently towards the door. “Fine. Go.”
She walks out, doesn’t sprint. She’s stiff. She’s controlled. She’s the one that fucked up, so it’s fine if she doesn’t feel great right now. Getting called out on one’s own failings as a person isn’t something to get upset about if the failings are real. The feelings are real and normal, but this was her fault, and so it’s up to her to fix it, and she can’t let them know it hurt her, because this was her mistake.
She goes to the cargo hold.
---------------------------
Ahsoka works out her frustrations on Fett’s punching bag. She does not augment herself with the Force, just uses raw strength and technique, ignoring the tears that press at her eyes.
She’s fine.
It’s not weird. It’s not odd. It’s not strange to not notice she’s been kind of a bitch since her mood came up with the whole Depa thing, and then Maul. She’s been mean, mostly to Vos and Fett, and nobody’s confronted her about it until now. They let her have room for her trauma, and she hadn’t reined it in. She’s just gotten worse.
‘Snippy’ she’d always been, but age apparently hadn’t fucking tempered it.
“Um.”
She catches the punching bag, breathing heavily and covered in sweat. She hasn’t worked out all the twitchy, nervous energy yet.
“Vos,” she greets, once she’s caught herself enough that her voice won’t waver. He’s on the other side of the bag, but she knows his voice. “Do you need something?”
“You’re kind of... projecting,” he tells her, drifting to where she can actually see him. “Not self-loathing, but, um, recrimination? You just don’t feel very good and I was hoping to help”
Why in all the Sith hells does he have to be nice.
“I got called out on my behavior and wasn’t ready to face the fact that I’d kriffed up,” she tells him. “I’ll be fine. And I’m... sorry. I haven’t been fair to you and was using you as an easy target for some of my ruder comments.”
“I mean, I kind of figured,” he admits, coming closer. “I’ve been tutored by Shadows before, and a lot of them act like you. I just assumed it was more of that.”
“I still shouldn’t have let myself run loose like that,” she says. “I’m... it wasn’t appropriate. I shouldn’t have let it happen.”
He shrugs, not meeting her eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” she says. “Not with... not with you. Or anyone other than Rex and a mind healer, really. Most of it is...”
She trails off, distantly noticing that her eyes are tearing up enough to blur her vision, and her nails are digging into the bag in a way Fett won’t appreciate.
There’s so much that beat her down, never quite breaking her, that she doesn’t even know what made her act the way she does.
“Want to spar?”
She looks over at him, wonders what he sees that makes him want to fight her when she’s visibly unstable.
He smiles, kind and easy, and it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. It’s genuine in intent, if not in energy. He wants to help. “You all keep saying I could work on my hand-to-hand. Just take off the armor so I don’t break a finger, maybe.”
“You’re serious.”
“No, I’m Quinlan.”
She’s going to wipe the floor with this boy. “You sure you wanna fight me?”
“You won’t be able to meditate until you do,” he says. He’s right, damn him. “The other option is that I go get your... vod, I think? I go get Rex and you two can talk it out since you trust him with more. I don’t want to do that, though, he’s still a kid.”
She eyes him, lips pressed together and mind awhirl with emotions and thoughts she’d tried to beat out of her head and into the bag. “Ever fought someone without the Force?”
“...yes?”
“Was it cuffs?”
“Oh, you meant me not having the Force,” he realizes. “Er, no. Is... is that something you’ve done a lot?”
She smiles at him. “You’re planning on Shadow work. That means getting captured and stripped of everything you are at some point, Force included. Unfortunately, the cuffs are in use on a very annoying Dathomirian right now, so we’ll have to make do with you shielding like your mind’s a Kessel Spice Mine.”
“...do I want to know how often you’ve been captured?”
“No, you don’t.”
When he comes at her, it’s easy to dodge. It’s easy to tap him on target points, little pokes that show she could take him out, but isn’t going to until he’s learned something. He stays grinning throughout, letting her take the lead, and he treats her like... like a knight. Like a teacher. He’s stepped back and gone from trying to impress her as a fellow padawan, to proving himself to a full knight.
She’s not sure when that change happened, or why or how, but it makes things much smoother. She wants to think that it would have even if she hadn’t gotten a wakeup call from Fett.
So she treats him the way she treated Ezra, for the year she’d spent traveling with Kanan. She treats him as a student that’s willing to learn, good but not yet great, competent but not yet ready to survive. She draws him into the kind of chest-heaving exhaustion that tells a fighter just how much energy they waste.
(Ahsoka may have had her own style, but her grandmaster had been the pinnacle of a Soresu user. She’d spent years on the frontlines of a war. She knew the worth of conserving energy, and she’d teach it to any who stepped in to challenge her.)
“Who taught you to fight like this?” He asks, when they’ve taken a handful of moments to circle each other. His steps are heavy, sure, planted. Her own are light and ready.
“Soldiers,” she says. It’s true enough.
“Not your Master?” he asks, just as he tries to kick for her upper arm. It’s a safe question. For anyone else, it would be a safe question.
But for Ahsoka, it’s another chink in the armor, after a maelstrom of emotion, a storm of self-loathing, a dervish of instability.
She doesn’t break right away.
She spirals. She fights Quinlan, but doesn’t quite see him. Her strikes get sloppy, her feet stumble. She can’t make herself meet Quinlan’s eyes, not when the scrape of his heel against the metal sounds like the rasp of a breathing machine. Her shields get fuzzy, she knows, and she leaks what she feels into the air, making it sour and thick. She doesn’t notice, because all she can see, all she can--all she can hear and feel and--
She drops to her knees and grabs at her head, trying to stop it.
“Sokari?”
She breathes. In and out, harsh and jagged but natural in a way that the damned respirator wasn’t.
Her master her teacher her brother the traitor the hound the executioner
Her face is hot. Something prickles. It might be tears.
She tries to say something, tries to say a name or a request, tries to make anything come out of her mouth that isn’t the broken wail of a woman who hasn’t let herself think about how she died.
She feels herself pulled into someone’s arms, and she can’t quite tell who, but they’re bigger than she is, and feel warm and worried. They care. They don’t understand, they’re scared, but they care.
Her hands shake, clutched to her chest and she can’t breathe she can’t make herself take in enough air to do a Force-damned thing the empire is going to feel her her shields are down and broken and her emotions are spilling and the empire is going to find HER ANAKIN IS GOING TO FIND HER AND--
“COMMANDER!”
Rex.
Rex is here.
Her breath is coming so fast that she’s hiccupping more than she’s actually inhaling. She feels small hands in gloves on either side of her face, and then her forehead presses to something warm.
Rex. A Keldabe kiss. Her brother, her partner, her other half. He’s here. He’s calm. If he’s calm, then things are fine.
“What happened?” Light voice, high voice, small and distant. Leia. Little Leia little princess Leia she’s in danger she’s in trouble Anakin will--
“Commander.”
No. Here and now. She needs to focus on here and now. Her throat feels cold. She breathes too fast, still. She can’t stop it.
“I don’t know.” That’s Vos. He was... they were doing something. He was here. Talking to her. “We were sparring, and she just--”
Right, sparring.
“I don’t know if I said something?” He offers, voice pitching up, unsure and worried. Is he the one holding her? He’s the one holding her. That’s embarrassing.
“Commander?” Rex prompts. “Commander, can you open your eyes?”
She tries. She can’t. She shakes her head.
“Soka?” he asks, voice quiet. “Where are you?”
“F-F-Fett,” she manages. It’s enough.
“And where were you?”
His voice is so soft. So worried. She held him the same way after Mandalore, after Order 66, after all his brothers, all her friends...
“Soka.”
Her mind is spinning, and suddenly all she can hear is Anakin Skywalker is dead. I destroyed him.
Her breath hitches, and she wails.
“Commander,” Rex tries again, but her head is a vortex of Then you will die and Perhaps this child and not the Jedi way.
Our long awaited meeting.
I destroyed him.
Then you will die.
She can’t breathe she can’t breathe she can only see that yellow eye that’s too familiar but belongs to a stranger can only hear a voice that shouldn’t exist can only mourn and break and--
“Soka?”
“Malachor,” she manages. “I--h-he--I died.”
“What did you say?” someone asks. A vod. It’s the right voice, almost, rough and business-like, not accusing anyone yet, and... and... no. No. Not one of her boys. It’s Fett.
“Um, right at the end? I asked her who taught her to fight like this,” Quinlan says, nervous. “And she said it was soldiers. And I joked, I asked that it wasn’t her Master, and she didn’t answer that. A couple minutes later, she just started...”
“Oh, Soka,” Rex whispers, pulling her closer. “Commander, just breathe with me.”
“H-h-he, he just--R-Rex, he j-just--and I c-c-couldn’t--”
“I know,” her captain whispers. “I know, just breathe with me.”
“He k-k-k-killed me,” she sobs, falling out of the Keldabe and into too-small arms. “I l-loved--he was my broth-ther and--and he just--he killed me, he didn’t even stop.”
“I know,” Rex whispers. “Soka, I know.”
Of course he does.
---------------------------
“It was just bad timing,” Rex says, once they’re in the room she’s been sharing with her little family, curled up under a blanket and watching the floor like it has all the secrets to how she lost her world three times over.
“Is there anything we need to keep in mind?” Fett asks, gruff and uncomfortable. She wonders if he’s angry that she took his necessary confrontation and turned it into this mess.
“Don’t bring up her Jedi Master,” Rex says, and pulls her in when she shivers. Her eyes squeeze shut before she can stop them, tears beading up again. “Just... don’t. It’s too soon.”
“He’s--”
“He Fell,” Ahsoka interrupts. “I thought he died, but he became a Sith. And fifteen years later, we ran into each other, and I refused to join him in the Dark, so he tried to kill me.”
Fett swears, low and muffled. She thinks he has a hand over his mouth.
Quin and Leia aren’t there. She thinks they’re keeping an eye on their Baby Sith prisoner. That’s good.
“Soka,” Rex whispers, and she buries her face in his shoulder. She’s too old to be this kind of mess. She’s thirty-two. She’s Fulcrum. She’s...
She’s in need of a lot of therapy.
“We can avoid the subject unless you bring it up,” Tholme promises. “Definitely until the Temple. Is there anything else we shouldn’t talk about?”
Ahsoka can practically feel Rex’s deadpan look. “Sir, we’re a trio of child soldiers ripped from everything we know. Every other sentence is a risk. We’re just... working our way through.”
There’s a knock at the door. Oh. Quin and Leia.
“Just figured we’d drop this off before we went down to visit Mr. Grumpy-Face,” Quinlan whispers. He still thinks Leia’s a child. He’s trying to make things less terrible for her. That’s nice. “We decided he’ll be less angry if he tries Hoth chocolate, and made some for everyone.”
They definitely made it for Ahsoka herself, and Maul was an afterthought. Still. It’s sweet.
“Commander?” Rex prompts, jostling her a little to try and get her to sit up.
“Gimme a sec,” she manages. It takes longer than it should to push herself away from him, to accept the mug that Leia gives her, too-serious worry in the furrow of her brow and the twist of her soul.
She doesn’t look six. She doesn’t even look twenty-two. This girl was always too old for her skin, forced to grow up in the hostile fear of the Empire.
“Thank you, Princess.”
She sips.
She can barely taste it beyond the ashes she imagines coating her tongue.
I destroyed him, her memory echoes. His slightest hesitation before he made the final move, it haunts her. She almost reached him. If only she’d tried harder, yelled louder, been better...
She shivers.
“Do you need help falling asleep?” Tholme asks. “I’m a regular healer, not a mind healer, but...”
She probably should.
She takes another sip of her drink, willing herself to taste it. It’s good. She likes it. She knows she does.
“Can you make it dreamless?” she whispers.
“It doesn’t always work, but I can try,” he tells her.
She nods. “When I finish the chocolate.”
“Of course.”
---------------------------
Everyone’s careful around her for days. The whole decision to be nicer doesn’t mean anything when she’s walking about in a daze of too few emotions, drained of everything she could feel in favor of a grey cloud of fluff in everything she does.
She does forms. Single saber and Jar’kai. Ataru and Djem so and Soresu. Reverse grip, regular grip, partial reverse on either side.
Again. Again. Again.
She loses herself in the motions, not meditating so much as just empty.
Rex worries. Fett worries. Vos worries.
Leia and Tholme keep their shields locked up tight, and she doesn’t know how they feel. She thinks Leia might be judging her. She think Tholme might be pitying.
Maul simply hates. It’s an old and familiar sensation to walk into, and she takes unthinking comfort in his rage. She’s silent instead of snippy, when she plays the role of guard, and they stare at each other in silence. His eyes burn, and she wonders how much he’s heard of her nightmares.
“You need to talk,” Rex tells her, when he finds her with a cold cup of caff, eyes fixed somewhere beyond it all. She lifts her head. “Soka.”
She just stares at him.
He sighs and pulls her into a hug. “Commander, please.”
She can’t.
Ahsoka stares at the wall behind him, resting her chin on his head. Her neck itches under the lek at the back of her head, a little tingle of a feeling that she can’t bring herself to do anything about. The pale light of the galley is sharp against the chipped paint of the metal that surrounds them. It hurts her eyes to look, but it’s not the deep and dark lit only by red--
Then you will die, her memory growls.
She flinches.
“Breathe,” Rex tells her, too-small hands clinging at her back. “Just breathe, ‘Soka.”
She curls in tighter and tries to just breathe.
---------------------------
“Tell me something good.”
Ahsoka blinks. She looks at Leia. She doesn’t have the energy to parse that.
Leia chances a look at Rex, who isn’t leaving Ahsoka’s side any more than he has to, and Fett on the other side. Tholme’s asleep and Quin’s on Baby Sith duty. It’s just people who know, right now.
The little girl across the table, the child senator, the spy, purses her lips and huffs in irritation. “You knew my biological father before he became one of the worst people in the galaxy. Both of you did. Tell me something good about him.”
Good things.
About Anakin.
“You fought a war as a Jedi,” Leia prompts. “Surely you must have done some good things with him, or at least thought you were.”
Did they?
Every mission ended in tragedy or was just a ploy of Palpatine’s. Every saved life was just...
Wait.
“He built Threepio,” she finally says. “Your father wi--I mean, Bail wiped Threepio’s memory after the Empire rose, for your safety, but Anakin was the one who built him.”
Leia sits up, eyes brighter. “I didn’t know that. I... was Artoo involved? Did he build R2D2, or...”
“No,” Rex says, “But Artoo was his favorite astromech, and they always pushed each other into stupid stunts. We risked a hell of a lot to save that droid, more than once, and I didn’t find out until you started working with the Rebellion full-time, but Artoo and Threepio were the witnesses for your bio-parents’ wedding.”
Leia gapes at him. So does Ahsoka. (Fett doesn’t know enough to care.)
Rex grins, and if it looks a little forced, that’s fine. “He had a holo recording. I was one of the few people left that knew about the marriage that might have wanted to see, so Artoo offered. It was... sweet.”
He waits, probably for Ahsoka to add something herself, but she has nothing.
“I think that’s when they swapped droids, since Threepio was more useful to a politician and Artoo did his best work when we set him loose on the enemy.”
“He never changed,” Leia muses. “Did he always swear that much?”
“Yes,” Ahsoka answers, as Rex laughs. “Always. All the binary I learned started with the best swears.”
She tries to think of another good memory, something else that Leia might appreciate. Her mind ticks back to saving Stinky, which is just a terrible option, because that mission started with Hutts and ended with the Battle of Teth. That massive loss of life, all for the son of the creature that had put Leia in chains.
She wonders if she has anything in her memory that doesn’t end in blood and graves.
“Soka.” Rex.
“Hm?”
“Remember that time Fives and Echo got lost in the undercity their first time on leave, and we had to get the General to help us find them?”
She does.
He’s right, that’s a good story.
“Okay, so what you have to understand,” Ahsoka says, already digging the faint details out and dusting them off, “is that these boys were ARC troopers, top-notch, terrifyingly competent once they got through specialty training, and loyal as hell. Echo had memorized the reg manuals front to back, and Fives was... well, Fives ended up being the only person to figure out the chips before they went into action. Point is, the Domino twins were good... eventually. Just like everyone else, though, they started out shiny.”
---------------------------
“Tholme’s hiding something.”
Ahsoka wonders if Leia will just leave if she ignores her enough. Probably not. This was the girl that got kicked out of boarding school for leading a sit-in at age seven. She’s got patience.
“His job requires him to hide a lot of things,” Ahsoka says instead. “Not as many as Vos will have to, eventually, but a lot.”
“He’s hiding something from us,” Leia insists, visibly frustrated that Ahsoka isn’t as upset about this as she is. “Something important.”
The way she says ‘important’ is clumsy and impacted by the missing baby tooth. She can’t say the r. It comes out as ‘im-poh-ten,’ which is adorable, and if Ahsoka comments on it, she’s probably going to get punched by a six-year-old.
“The Force doesn’t care,” Ahsoka says. “I trust his intentions, if not him as a person.”
“If you don’t trust him, then why trust his intentions?”
“Leia, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I trust one and a half people in the galaxy,” Ahsoka points out. “Me not trusting a person isn’t a sign of anything except my paranoia. The only person I trust fully and without reservation is Rex. Even you, I only mostly trust, because my brain starts screaming if I think too hard. That’s why you’re the half.”
“Okay, whatever, paranoia aside,” Leia barrels on, “He should tell us. Whatever it is that he’s hiding, we deserve to know. We’re not children that he can just hide things from for our own good.”
Ahsoka presses her lips together. “Leia. Princess. I know you’re used to holding all the cards--”
“This isn’t about me being a control freak!”
“It is, though,” Ahsoka soothes, and smiles. “Your mother--the bio one--was the same way. You spent years as one of the leaders of the Rebellion, so obviously you’re used to having all the information, and people reporting to you... but Tholme is a Jedi Master. He reports to the Council and the Republic. Do you know how many people I kept secrets from while I was a padawan? We’re an unknown, Leia. They have no proof that we’re on their side, especially since we’re traveling with Fett.”
Leia crosses her arms and glares as hard as she can.
“I’m not going to bother him,” Ahsoka says. “I’ve already had, like, five unrelated mental breakdowns. I’m putting this on hold until we get to the Temple and I can trust that there’s a healer on hand to sedate me or something.”
“You... want to be sedated?”
“Leia, this... really should be obvious, but a Force-Sensitive losing their osik the way I have been isn’t actually safe. I know I broke a weapons rack last week.” Ahsoka gestures vaguely. “If the Jedi Master isn’t telling me something for reasons that might relate to my clear and obvious mental instability, I’m going to assume he’s got a point.”
“So he should tell me or Rex.”
“We’ll be on Coruscant in four days,” Ahsoka soothes. “Just... let it be. They won’t hurt us.”
“You don’t know that.”
Ahsoka shrugs. “I don’t have to. The Force leads me in all things, including this.”
Leia isn’t impressed by that, but Leia isn’t impressed by much in the first place.
She strides off in a fit that is, perhaps, more influenced by her six-year-old emotional control than she’d like to admit. Ahsoka lets her. It’s not worth the argument.
It’s only a few minutes later that Fett strides in, takes the seat Leia was just in, and asks, “What would it take for you to teach me how to use a jetii’kad?”
She blinks at him. “You want to learn how to use a lightsaber?”
“Yes.”
“...why?”
“Viszla.”
“I see.”
She does.
Ahsoka taps her fingers against the table, eyeing him with the kind of interest she copied from Master Kenobi, years ago. Fett doesn’t fidget, but she thinks he might want to. He just looks back, waiting for her judgement.
“You’ll need to justify it,” she finally says. “It’s a significant difference from what you actually did, so I need to know your reasoning for doing it, and your plans for once it’s done.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s step one,” she corrects. She tilts her head, considering. “My standards for you aren’t built in a vacuum, and you know that. Explain to me what you plan to do and how you plan to do it, and if I approve...”
“You’ll help me achieve it.”
“Maybe,” she allows. “A lot of that depends on Rex.”
“I expected as much,” Fett says. “He is... an admittedly large part of the reason.”
“He would be,” she says. She gives the silence a few more seconds to sit awkwardly between them, and then stands up. “I’d guess you’ve been brainstorming already. Do you have it written down or is it mostly just in your head so far?”
“I’m still... debating options, so to speak.”
She grins, and the shape of the predator’s smile, the baring of teeth... that almost makes him step back. She can see it in the twitch of his muscles. Smart man.
“Follow me,” she says, and doesn’t wait for him to stand. She strides out with tooka-light steps, hears the heavy beskar tread behind her, and goes to the cargo hold. Fett’s confusion grows tangibly behind her, especially when she tosses him a wooden quarterstaff. She picks up the other and spins it in one hand.
“You’re going to fight me,” she tells him, stretching and letting the staff help with the process. “And while we fight, you’re going to tell me what your plans for Mandalore are.”
He mimics her, but there’s a frown on his face. “And why staffs?”
“You and I, we’ve only sparred bare-handed,” she says. “I need a feel for how you fight with a weapon anyway. These are a good start.”
“Not the beskad?”
She grins, and the twitch is back. “No. That can wait. We start with the staffs.”
He takes a stance, and she mirrors him. She lets him strike first with a weapon, but she’s the one that asks all the questions.
(He is the only one on the ship that can fight her one-on-one right now, and he can win. Still, she makes him work for every inch, and what she doesn’t win in bruises, she wins in words.)
(Fett might yet be a proper Mand’alor, but Ahsoka learned war from her brothers, negotiation at the knee of a general and in the shadow of a prince, and government at the side of duchesses and queens.)
(If he wants her help uniting his people, he needs to prove that he can hold them together once she’s gone.)
---------------------------
Ahsoka’s interrogation of Jango’s plans is thorough, and she’s not the only one involved. She brings Leia in, and has her join in on the grilling. She maybe laughs as the twenty-seven-year-old survivor of Galidraan, the Mand’alor, a man who has killed Master Jedi with his bare hands, gets lectured on various government structures by a tiny girl that's missing several teeth and needs to sit on books to see the table properly.
Still, Leia knows this better than any of the rest of them do. The girl might have grown up heir to a monarchy, but she got a classical education and was drilled on democracy and all associated forms of government. Where Ahsoka knows military protocol and law enforcement, intersystem relations and defensive measures, Leia knows agricultural subsidies and welfare programs, infrastructure and education.
Ahsoka may know how to find out if someone’s breaking a zoning law, but Leia knows why it exists in the first place.
“And I grew up in a cult,” Rex says, when an argument on that topic breaks out. Everyone that hasn’t heard the joke-that-isn’t-a-joke stares at him. “The Jedi grew up in a religious meritocracy; Leia grew up in a monarchy; and I grew up in a cult.”
Ahsoka elbows him. He’s not wrong, but still.
Unfortunately, Ahsoka is about forty-seven percent sure that Leia will put her foot in her mouth when it comes to Mandalorian culture, blunt as the girl is. That prefrontal cortex isn’t anywhere near as developed as it should be, either, so impulse control for the princess isn’t great. Ahsoka refuses to let Leia and Fett talk about ways to mend the breaks between tradition and the pacifism of the New Mandalorians without either Rex or Ahsoka herself as a mediating presence. Tholme sits in a few times, but while he knows that Leia isn’t really six--though not about the time-travel, yet--Quinlan doesn’t.
They admittedly end up doing this while he’s on Maul-sitting duty.
“It’s like he doesn’t even care about making nice with the people that, at this point, make up the majority of his people!” Leia grumbles one night, as Ahsoka kicks over a step stool so the girl can brush her teeth. “He may not like the New Mandalorians, but from what I understand, it’s still early enough to prevent the majority of the cultural bleaching you brought up. If he stays this stubborn--”
“Leia,” Ahsoka says, and the girl’s mouth snaps shut. “I’m aware of your reasons for not trusting his intentions. But if I may say? Chill.”
“He��s not even trying!”
“He’s trying a hell of a lot harder than he did in the original timeline,” Ahsoka reminds her. “Brush your teeth.”
“I’m not a--”
“Teeth.”
It’s a little worrying, how the child’s brain affects Leia, but... well. That’ll pass in time, hopefully. Until then, Ahsoka gets to be the aunt she should have been. This includes tucking Leia in, which the girl grumbles about despite the fond waves of comfort that enter the Force around her. Ahsoka doesn’t call her out on it, just brushes back wisps of hair to plant a kiss on Leia’s forehead, and then does the same once Rex stumbles in, grumbling about the limitations of a cadet’s body, but far more ready to follow the protocol that is bedtime.
Rex doesn’t pretend to not like getting tucked in, for all that he’s sharing with a grumbly, already-asleep princess. He smiles up at Ahsoka, lets her hug him, and pretends they can be a normal family for five seconds.
Quinlan’s making a late night snack for himself in the galley. Tholme is guarding the Baby Sith. Fett...
Ahsoka goes to the cockpit, takes the copilot’s seat, and watches hyperspace pass them by.
It takes long minutes before either of them say anything.
“Do Jedi believe in souls?”
His shields are up, locked up tighter than the innermost chambers of the Imperial Palace. She has no idea where he’s taking this question. She has to cast about for an answer.
“That depends on how you define a soul,” she finally says. “Leia told me about Force Ghosts. A Jedi Master who underwent the right meditations and training could pass into the Force upon their death without losing their sense of self. They could remain themselves, to an extent, and interact with force-sensitive individuals. I don’t know if they could last that way indefinitely, but depending on your definition, I could argue those ghosts were evidence of a form of soul.”
“So you believe that the dead pass into the Force, but that what passes could be a soul. Something must exist for a sense of self to disappear at death in a way that impacts the Force as you understand it, and many would use the word ‘soul’ for that something.”
“Mm,” Ahsoka considers it. “I’d say that’s pretty accurate. You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”
“What about those not yet born?”
Her fingers feel cold, and she finds herself no longer able to watch the passage of hyperspace as passively as she had, and her eyes catch on streaks and motes of what is not dust, her vision unable to keep any more still than her heart.
“Oh,” she hears herself say. “The clones.”
It’s a long time before he answers, but the walls come down. He carries a confused sort of grief with him, guilty and a mite resentful. His questions have been building for longer than she’d thought. His voice is rough. “I’ve taken plenty of lives, but I’ve never known the name of someone I erased from existence before they were even born.”
“The stories we told Leia about the brothers.”
There’s a grunt of agreement from Fett, so those dots at least connect.
“I take it my answer wasn’t helpful,” she manages to say.
“Will they still exist?” Fett asks. “Will they be born elsewhere? Or is... is a soul something that only comes into existence after the body does?”
“I have no idea,” Ahsoka admits. “I want... I want to think that I’d be able to find them eventually, to recognize them, if their souls are still born into this world elsewhere.”
“And if your Sith finds someone else to build his army out of?”
Ahsoka looks at him, sharp and pointed. “You wouldn’t.”
“They’ll be doing it anyway, if their plans are as ironclad as you say.”
“You’re already associating with Jedi,” Ahsoka says, fighting the urge to break his nose. “They wouldn’t approach you, not now. They can’t leverage your anger against you. They won’t know everything, but they’ll know that you have friends among the Jedi.”
“You think they can’t come up with better lies?”
He has a point. He has more than one point and she hate hate hates it.
A Jedi does not hate.
I am no Jedi.
“You’re going to have to convince me,” she says. “Especially if you want to somehow balance this with the darksaber thing. I won’t teach you how to fight with it if you’re not planning to retake Mandalore.”
“That’s how they’d sell it,” he says. “Retaking Mandalore. An army ostensibly for the Jedi, and ultimately...”
“You’d build an army of slaves.”
“No, I’d be the inside man for when they build that army anyway.”
She holds his gaze. She looks away first.
“Torrent?”
“I’m thinking.”
He lets her.
“I’ll need to talk to Rex. Probably Leia.”
“Understandable.”
“I don’t like this.”
“I’m only just considering it. It’s an idea, not a plan.”
“That’s the only reason I haven’t ripped your throat out with my teeth.”
“Hyperbole doesn’t suit you.”
She glares at him, and leaves, her mind chopping up and laying out every possible angle on Fett volunteering to do the exact same thing as last time, but somehow worse.
Great. Just what she needed.
---------------------------
Ahsoka isn’t there for the shouting match between Rex and Fett, but she doesn’t have to be. She can hear it form clear across the ship, and Rex comes to her afterwars. He’s been crying, which isn’t as surprising as it could be. These bodies are still prone to such things, and will be for years. She doesn’t comment.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks.
“We need to take out Sidious before he starts anything on Kamino.”
“Agreed,” she says. “It’ll be hard, though.”
“I don’t care.”
“What did Fett say?”
“That if it wasn’t going to be my brothers, it would be someone else’s. Either we stopped the cloning from happening at all, or we mitigated damage by being there.”
“I don’t think Sidious is going to tap him for it,” Ahsoka admits. “Not unless you’re willing to stage that kind of fight publicly enough for Fett to claim the Jedi poisoned you, family, against him. It could work, but it’s a gamble.”
He knows all of this.
“I miss them,” he says, and she cards her fingers though the curls he’s managed to grow in the past weeks. “I just... even at the end, I had Wolffe. I knew Boba was out there; I wouldn’t be surprised if the beskar let him survive a Sarlacc. I had brothers. Not as many as I used to, but there was always someone. I miss them all, so much it hurts.”
“It wouldn’t be them,” she reminds him. She pulls him closer, puts her cheek to his head. “It would be the same process, the same faces, the same training, even, but the boys themselves...”
He clings to her and shudders.
“Rex?”
“I can’t force them to grow up the way I did. I want them back. Sidious is going to make the army no matter what. Someone’s going to suffer, and I don’t want it to be my brothers, but they won’t exist otherwise, and...”
“And it’s an impossible choice,” she summarizes. “And it sucks.”
“It’s sucks Gungan balls, ‘Soka.”
She laughs, and feels him smile against her shoulder. Good. He needs to smile more.
“He’s still trying to get me to like him,” Rex says. "He’s still making an effort, and he never did that for anyone except Boba, and it’s weird. I don’t know what to do with any of that.”
“Gain a brother,” Ahsoka whispers, and she feels him jerk against her. “If that’s what you want.”
“He’s not vod.”
“Same blood as all the rest, and you’re older than him, so he’s not really in a position to be a parent to you like he was to Boba,” she says carefully. “You don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want to, but... I think he’s trying. I think this means a lot to him, and that he isn’t any more sure of what to do than you are. You don’t have to forgive him for what he did in the future, you don’t have to accept when he reaches out, you don’t have to ever talk to him again after we reach Coruscant if you don’t want, but I think... I think it’s worth at least considering what you have to gain. I think it’s worth looking at what he’s trying to give you.”
Rex huffs. “Why couldn’t he just be the shabuir I knew in training?”
“Something happened between now and then?” she offers. “I don’t know. I never met him in the original timeline. I just know the guy that keeps trying to get on my good side so you’ll like him.”
He outright scoffs. “Soka, that’s not the only reason he’s trying to get on your good side.”
“...I’m a former Jedi who talks trash to his face,” she says slowly. “And I cried on him. There is no reason for him to be nice to me, other than you.”
“He thinks you’re cool and a good person and wants you to be his friend.”
“Bantha poodoo.”
Rex grins in a way that goes straight to smirking. “Soka, I’m not joking. Jango Fett wants you to be his friend.”
“Kriffing why?” she asks, more than a little horrified. “I’m a mess, look like I’m ten years younger than him, have gleefully kicked his ass in front of an audience; I even told Vos to throw him at a baby Sith Lord. Putting up with me is one thing, but I’m... I’m only barely not a Jedi. I’m a historical enemy of Mandalore, and part of the community he hates more than anything, and--”
“And his reaction to you kicking his ass was pure Mando,” Rex says. “In that he now thinks you’re a badass, and thus worth being friends with.”
“I can’t believe that. I physically cannot.”
“Soka, just accept it. The Mand’alor wants to be friends with you.” He scratches at his scalp. “I mean, he met you while you were protecting what appeared to be children, and it’s apparently still early enough for him to care about that.”
She leans back in her seat, eyes on the wall ahead of her and back against the cool metal of the other side. Rex falls back with her. She wonders if Rex changed the subject so they didn’t have to talk about deciding how many of his brothers get to exist, and whether or not he can swallow the bitterness of his history to have a connection with at least one member of his blood. She doesn’t ask. If he wants to change the subject, that’s his right.
“I don’t... no.” She denies it as well as she can, and then the implications dig a little deeper. “Is this me accidentally signing up to be the Jedi Order’s official liaison to the Mand’alor?”
“I mean, this point in time... they’ve got Kenobi for the Duchess, yeah?” Rex shrugs. “Good relations with the system are probably a good thing, and you’ve got a stronger connection than Tholme and Vos.”
“Ugh,” she says. She rubs a hand against her head, and then lurches to her feet. “Fine! Fine. If it’ll get him to retake Mandalore before the Sith decide to bribe him with an army he doesn’t get to keep, I’ll teach him how to fight for the kriffin’ Darksaber.”
“That’s what makes the decision for you?”
“Well something had to!”
They only get one lesson in before Coruscant, but the lesson lasts a full day, and Ahsoka’s got his comm number. Fett’s a quick learner anyway, and Tholme was there to give pointers where Ahsoka couldn’t.
He won’t measure up to a Jedi in saber-to-saber combat, but he doesn’t need to. He just needs to learn enough to turn all those skills with a beskad to something that works with a jetii’kad.
(The balance of a saber is wrong to those used to a physical weapon. The inertia doesn’t work the way anyone expects. There’s no need to worry about damaging the blade.)
(Fett is good. Ahsoka is better. And, bless his heart, he knows it.)
(She will mold him into the shape of someone who not only can, but should rule a system with a history like that, and he damn well knows that too.)
---------------------------
“Dropping out of hyperspace in T-minus twenty seconds.”
The Slave I is not, in fact, a Venator-class starship, or anything else near the size and smoothness of the ships that Ahsoka grew up on. This is a bounty hunter’s vessel, and the drop to real space jolts like nothing else. Ahsoka’s in the copilot seat for the return, but Tholme’s going to swap with her as soon as they’ve got confirmation that there were no problems with exiting hyperspace, and nobody’s shooting at them.
“We’re not going to get shot at,” Tholme had assured her.
“I always get shot at,” she’d told him.
“I have our clearance,” he reminded her, seeming more amused than frustrated. “There’s no need to worry about getting shot at.”
“I also always get shot at,” Jango had thrown in.
“Okay,” Tholme had allowed, after several minutes of his trust in the Temple warring against Ahsoka and Jango’s learned paranoia. The looks Quinlan had darted around the room when Leia and Rex also claimed ‘chronic getting-shot-at disease’ had been a treat. The paranoia of a Watchman and a future Shadow was great, but the paranoia of three revolutionaries and a galaxy-wide criminal was greater. “You can take us in close enough to get in radio contact, but the second we have to ask for clearance and a vector, I’m in the seat.”
She’d agreed, of course. She was paranoid, not inexperienced.
“We’re much less likely to get shot down by ground control if you tell them we’re with you,” she’d said, to his hilariously apparent metaphysical exhaustion. “Obviously.”
“Good enough,” he’d sighed.
What that means is mostly just that Ahsoka gets to watch the distant star at the center of Coruscant’s system grow rapidly brighter. She can pick out the constellations she’d grown up with, the stars the creche had projected on the ceiling every night, the ones that she may not have seen from the surface, but had greeted her and then sent her on her way every time she left on yet another campaign that lost her men their lives for a Sith Lord's wretched plans. These were the shapes and stories she’d never seen again as Fulcrum, a woman so hunted that to come within a dozen subsectors of the planet was to court her death.
For sixteen years, she hadn’t ventured closer than Alderaan, save for a single trip to Chandrila.
And now, maybe twenty minutes away at this speed, was the Temple. It was home.
A home that didn’t know her, that had sentenced her to death, that had hosted the rampage of her former master... but home nonetheless.
“Stable?” Fett grunts.
“Thrusters are good,” she confirms.
“I meant you.”
Ah. “I’m... fine. As good as I could be, anyway.”
She hesitates, but manages to speak before he does. “You?”
“I’m not the one walking into an entire building of triggers.”
“Only because you’re not entering it,” she says. “It’s the home of your ancestral enemies who, bad info or no, killed off a whole lot of your friends.”
“I get to leave,” he says. “You don’t.”
She plans to needle him a bit more, maybe on something a little less based in both their traumas. She needs to talk, if only to fill up the silence and keep herself from reaching out to all the lights in the Force. It’ll be too much, she knows.
Tholme enters the cockpit. “Change of plans.”
“Better be a good reason,” Jango says, voice flat.
“Leia’s crying.”
Ahsoka’s unbuckling herself before she can process the words fully. “What?”
Leia doesn’t cry for no reason. Her emotional control is as difficult as the body makes it, but she doesn’t just cry. There’s always a cause.
“I don’t know. Rex said to get you,” Tholme explains. “She was saying a name. He seemed to recognize it.”
Not good not good not good. If Leia was feeling the Emper--No. She cuts the thought off there. No catastrophizing. Information first.
“What name.”
“Luke. Mean anything to--and she’s gone.”
Ahsoka ignores him, just sprints to where she knows the ‘young ones’ are. They’re all in Maul’s room, because nobody wants to be alone with him now, but it’s the worst time to leave him without supervision. It’s not the worst option; he mostly refuses to talk, still.
This holds true, because he definitely isn’t talking when she bursts in. He’s sitting on the bench, in a corner, hugging his knees and watching Quinlan try to calm Leia down.
“Captain, sitrep.”
“Vos and Tholme attempted to show Leia how to reach out to feel the Temple from a distance. They felt that it would be a good use of the time, and an interesting exercise at this distance. She attempted to do so, struggled for several minutes, and then reacted with shock. She has repeated the name ‘Luke’ several times since then, and we’ve been unable to fully calm her down. I asked Tholme to get you, as you are the only Force-Sensitive on board that understands the situation in full.”
“Understood.” She nods to him, and then goes to nudge at Quinlan. “Vos, move.”
“Torre--”
“You can sit behind her, hold her in your lap like you did when we had lunch the other day, but I need to get in her face.” She waits for him to comply, and then drops to her knees and takes Leia’s hands in her own. She radiates calm and assurance, even though she knows Quinlan’s probably been doing the same since this started. She dips her head enough to get in the girl’s line of sight, waits for her to meet eyes.
“Princess,” she says, and meets Leia’s eyes. “What did you feel?”
“Luke.”
From this distance... they’ve got half the system to go, at least, and Leia’s training shouldn’t reach that far for anything more than the fact that the Temple is there. Ahsoka could feel unshielded individuals from here, if she focused, but she’s also been doing this much, much longer. The twins theory holds more water than ever.
“Can you show me?” Ahsoka asks, instead of asking for more clarification. She squeezes Leia’s hands and smiles. “In the Force?”
Leia nods, and closes her eyes. It’s not the first time they’ve done this, but it’s the first time in a while that Leia’s needed Ahsoka to guide her through.
Luke’s light, for all that it’s unfamiliar to Ahsoka, is brilliant among the rest of the signatures in Coruscant. Like Anakin and Leia, he’s a star in his own right, but he’s brighter. He doesn’t have Anakin’s bitterness or Leia’s righteous anger, just... light. Ahsoka had asked Leia to show her instead of looking for herself because she’d expected to not recognize the boy, but she needn’t have. He’s unmistakable.
He’s so bright that she almost misses the other signature that she does recognize. She shies away, knowing that it would be there, but... but it’s almost twinned with another nearby. Not identical, but different in a way that comes with age, with trauma, with... death.
Leia hadn’t arrived alone, after all.
Why would Luke?
Her eyes snap open, her hand coming up not-quite-fast enough to clap over her mouth as she gasps. She feels a shudder, one that starts in her shoulders and reaches deep into her ribcage, finds a home in her chest and doesn’t stop.
“Oh fuck,” Quinlan whispers. “Torrent? Um, Sokari?”
Rex steps closer. “Commander?”
“That shabuir faked his death again,” she manages. “Three times, Rex!”
He blinks at her. “...I know way too many people who fit that description, Soka.”
“Master Ke--” she cuts herself off. He might have changed his name, just like she had. There’s already an Obi-Wan here. Rex seems to be figuring it out, but she needs to give him another hint.
“He pulled a Hardeen,” she stresses, and Rex’s eyes snap shut with a tired groan.
“Who?” Leia asks, her own tumult of emotion paused in the wake of Ahsoka’s shock. There’s a hope and relief to her, and Ahsoka belatedly realizes that her main worry had been that she’d misidentified what was going on, that she’d given herself a false hope. Ahsoka’s internal reaction, her approval and awe at Luke’s presence, had trickled over enough to give Leia the reassurance she’d needed.
Unintentional as it was, Ahsoka was glad that she’d succeeded in helping her charge.
“Er...” she trails off. “I don’t know what name he’s going by, right now. We’ve spent so long in hiding...”
“The man Luke knew as Crazy Old Ben,” Rex says, and Leia’s eyes light up.
“Oh,” she breathes. “General O--no, names. The High General, then.”
“Yeah,” Ahsoka says, not a little soft. “Yeah, I guess death didn’t stop him any more than it stopped me.”
“I could have told you that,” Leia says, smiling far too widely. She squirms where she still sits on Quinlan’s lap. “He was... he taught you, right?”
“As much my master as the official one,” Ahsoka says. She glances as Quinlan, feels Maul’s gaze on the back of her head. “Your f... my official master was very young when I was assigned to him. He wasn’t ready to teach, wasn’t even ready to be a knight, entirely, so my training was split between him and his master.”
Quinlan pops in at that moment, “Your grandmaster was military, too?”
We all were, she thinks. Even you, in your own way.
“I landed in their care mid-battle,” she says carefully. “It was a complicated situation.”
He nods, and she vaguely notes that he’s got his arms wrapped around Leia, and his chin tucked on top of her head. She isn’t sure if Leia’s noticed, but Quinlan’s picked up ‘baby’-sitting duty so often recently that she’s fairly certain he’s all but declared her ‘little-sister shaped.’ It doesn’t matter that Leia’s older--she’s still taking the juice boxes and gummy snacks that Quinlan shoves at her every single snacktime.
“Do you think...” Rex trails off, something uncomfortable twisting in the Force, even though his face keeps it mostly hidden. “My brothers. If the General survived and... and made it back...”
“I didn’t feel any,” Ahsoka says, because she knows she’d have noticed if it was anyone she’d met, and likely any clone at all. They all felt different in the Force, but they all held a spark that made her know it was one of them. “I’m sorry, Rex’ika.”
“A long shot,” he says, that dash of hope shriveling up. He must see something in her face, because there’s a curl of warmth in him, even if his smile is brittle. “It’s fine, really. I have you, ‘Soka.”
Rex and Ahsoka. Two halves of one whole.
She can’t wait to hear the lectures on attachment, the way people who haven’t seen her wars try to criticize her for clinging to any chance at still having a will to live. She can’t wait to see them justify telling her that it’s selfish to hold her sanity in her hands and refuse to let the grief take it away. She can’t wait to stare someone down for asking her to ‘learn to let go’ after she’s lost her family, her life, her universe three times over.
Most of the Jedi are more sensible than that, are reasonable enough to see those shades of grey and how to approach rules in the spirit they are meant instead of the rigid letter, but there will be some.
There will be more than enough telling her she is wrong to hold her oldest, closest, best friend as dear as she can.
Attachment, they’ll say.
What they’ll mean is ‘codepedence.’
They won’t be entirely wrong.
She reaches out for him, lets him fall into her side and stay there, closes her eyes and reaches out for the man she’d long called father, when they’d still been in each other’s lives.
This time, past the deafening flare of surprise-love-hope of the little star next to him, she can feel him reach back.
---------------------------
The second the ship has landed, even before Tholme and Fett are done with the checks, Ahsoka’s waiting at the exit. She strains her hearing so she’ll know the second the system will let her open the massive door of the cargo hold.
Leia clings to her side, and the boys stand to her back.
Quinlan’s stressed enough that she can feel it like a cloud. She is very much not trying to feel that stress. Quinlan’s stress levels, back where he’s got Maul so he can keep an eye on Ahsoka and the Baby Sith at the same time, are so low on her priorities list that it’s a a little sad.
It doesn’t take long for her to be able to punch the button and open the damn door.
It opens slowly. She bounces on her toes, because there’s a beacon of light and a steady, familiar glow on the other side, and she’s so, so close. She can’t see through the crack yet, because it’s day in this part of Coruscant, and the sunlight is blinding against the dark of the hold. So close. She’s so close.
“The hell’s wrong with you?”
Fett? Fett. He’s already here to get off? This door’s slow.
She doesn’t answer him, because the door is finally open enough to let her out, and she leaps through the gap.
She lands on a pourstone floor, feels pebbles and grit compress under her boots, frantically looks around as her eyes adjust to light and--
The High General, the Negotiator, Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, looking just as he did when she first met him, if a little less armored and a little more fed. The hair, the beard, the crinkle in the corner of his eyes. His spirit is a little older, his smile a little more strained, his posture a little more tired, but it’s him.
He spreads his arms, low enough that she could have dismissed it if she’d cared less for hugs, except she’s almost as small as she was when they met.
And every other hug she’d given back then had been, functionally, her being a living missile aiming her montrals for someone’s organs.
She’s a little more aware of how to avoid stabbing her friends in the intestine now.
“Master!”
She sprints for him, collides and sobs, feels him stumble back and then sink to his knees on the too-hard floor, and can feel the tears pouring out of her already. Her breath hitches, and she wails like a child, and that last part of her that couldn’t even grasp at safety shreds itself. His arms are tight around her, warm and strong and Master Kenobi don’t you dare leave again.
It doesn’t matter that Sidious is out there, that the Republic’s been building towards war for a century, that even now someone’s kicking up the Trade Federation. Her dad is here.
“I’ve missed you too, my dear,” he says, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, the bristles of his beard scratching along the skin of her forehead. Off to the side, the binary suns that are Luke and Leia grow brighter in proximity, so bright she can barely bear it.
(“Fett, why the kriff are you reaching for your blaster?!”)
(“Torrent said her master tried to kill her.”)
(“Different guy, that was a different guy, put the blaster away.”)
(“You could have just warned me.”)
(“I didn’t expect you to go for a shot on sight!”)
(”Calm down, Jetiika, if I was going to shoot on sight, we’d already be in a firefight.”)
She ignores everything.
“If you fake your death one more time, I swear I’m going to kill you myself.”
He tries to pull away to talk to her more directly. She does not let him. He apparently resigns himself to this, because he just adjusts how he’s sitting and pulls her in closer.
“In my defense, I was far from the only one presumed dead that took advantage of that status, by the end,” he says, letting her slump into his lap and cry herself dry. “I’m proud of you. You know that, I hope.”
She nods against his chest, smearing tears and snot across the linen and wool. She doesn’t care that they’ll need a thorough washing. She can have her public breakdown and it’s fine because Master Kenobi is here.
He doesn’t even know what she’s spent the past fifteen years doing. Luke wouldn’t have known. He doesn’t know she’s thirty-two and broken, beyond a shadow and cut down by her own master. There’s so much he doesn’t know but the Force rings with the truth of it: he’s proud of her anyway.
“I’m going by Ben, now,” he mutters against her montral. “There’s already an Obi-Wan here, after all. Still, I remain a Kenobi.”
She can’t make the words come out of her mouth. She’s overwhelmed, so much so that speech is a mite bit beyond her.
Sokari Torrent, she presses along the frayed bond that’s knitting itself back to life with every breath they take. Leia was already calling me Auntie Soka, and Rex and I both took Torrent, for...
“For the men you lost,” he mutters. “Yes, that’s fitting.”
He smells like sapir tea and a spiced beard oil.
There’s a whirl of activity about her, greetings and ‘a Sith apprentice?’ and introductions. She distantly notes when Fett almost shoots Dooku before Rex shuts that down and advises the Master to leave the area before things spiral out of control. She feels Ben stand, and she stands with him, clings to his side like a child and trusts that whatever happens, whatever needs to happen, he’ll take care of it until she can stand on her own two feet without swaying.
Rex grabs her free hand, and she feels herself settle back into her skin, bit by bit.
She’s back at the Temple. The twins are safe. Her grandmaster is here. She has her other half.
They can save the galaxy this time.
She’s alive she’s home she’s okay.
She’s okay.
Everything’s going to be okay.
579 notes ¡ View notes
djarrex ¡ 3 years ago
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Pretty please can we have something where Echo and TBB find out Rex and reader are expecting? Bonus points for Omega's reaction cause I wonder sometimes whether she knows much about the natural way babies are made? I figure she wouldn't have need of that information in the Kaminoans' eyes.
I wanna preface this by expressing the joy I feel and the appreciation I have when you guys come into my inbox asking or wanting to talk about Post-Order 66 Rex and fam. I love it SO MUCH you have no idea :’)
So, if you remember, Hunter was briefly in Insatiable and has a couple lines of dialogue - he even congratulates them on the pregnancy and wishes them well in case he doesn’t see them soon - which is shown during Rex + reader + Hunter’s short interaction. The squad is told the happy news before the events of that particular installment, and I’m thinking that it happens when Rex contacts them to ask if they would be able meet him on [planet] for a little help with [mission].
Find the rest of the series and related works in the Post-Order 66 Rex ML
Let’s go back in time when Rex makes contact with TBB, which preludes the events of Insatiable: (pregnant!reader, TBB + Omega finds out, about 1.6k words)
<<<>>>
"We’re being hailed.” 
All members on board the Marauder drop what they’re doing and turn their attention to Echo, who had just called out and is signaling for everyone to congregate in the cockpit. Hunter sheathes the knife he’d been twirling in his fingers and nods before stepping towards the rear of the ship and calling for Omega, while Wrecker sets down Gonky and waves her over. Tech and Echo are already sat in the cockpit, getting the signal steady for the incoming transmission to come through.
"What is it?" Omega jumps down from the gunner's nest - now her room thanks to Wrecker's kind heart and creativity - and joins her brothers in the cockpit. The pilot seats are swiveled around and facing the small space in the center of all of them - the bust of a familiar captain popping into view. "Oh, it's Rex! Hi Rex!" She waves at his translucent blue form with a giddy smile plastered on her face. “Where is-”
"Hello Omega," you chime in with a smile as your head pops into the perimeter of the holo. Her sweet face lights up even more, and her eyes move back and forth between you both, unsure of whom to focus on. From the room you’re still staying at in a high-rise located in Yerbana City, the two of you exchange quick greetings with the five who are currently traveling through hyperspace.
“What’s goin’ on, Rex?” The gentle giant asks with a grin and hands placed on his hips. The captain straightens his stance and crosses his armored arms across his chest plate, and instead of directing his impending response to Wrecker, Rex’s attention turns to Hunter, who’s leaned against the frame at the threshold of the cockpit. A moment passes as the two share a nonverbal understanding before Rex opens his mouth - the focusing pairs of eyes on one another.
“I wanted to see if your squad would be available to help me out.” You quietly observe each individual who are all appearing on your end as full-body projections, landing on Omega to where she’s sitting on top of their Gonk droid - her hands folded neatly in her lap, legs swinging.
“Name it.” Echo is quick to respond with a affirmative nod as he meets the eyes of each member - cutting off Hunter before the sergeant can get a word in. Rex’s oldest friend found himself caught at the receiving end of a very slight glare coming from directly across from him, and begins to backtrack. “I-”
“What is it, Captain?” Hunter interjects.
You sort of tune out the rest, having already been given the spiel by Rex long before you’d suggested for him to contact Hunter for some much-needed assistance. It’s a simple mission: scouting out an abandoned base in hopes to obtain supposedly valuable information from the obsolete Republic database and perhaps to also restock on munitions if there’s anything left there. Normally this would be something Rex could manage on his own, though his thoughts have been a little busy since the start of your extended stay in Yerbana. The two of you ended up taking a little much-needed ‘vacation’ in the repopulating capitol city after receiving the incredible news, and you’re just now getting back into the swing of things. Well, for the most part. Rex doesn’t quite trust his focus as of late with far too many other important things swarming around in his mind, and is worried that he'd make a mistake doing the mission solo, no matter how simple the objective appears to be.
Hunter accepts without resistance, and confirms that they'll meet the two of you just outside the abandoned base immediately after they’ve finished their current objective for Cid, which will probably be in another eighteen hours or so. Rex transmits the coordinates, and it falls silent; the awkward clearing of the throat coming from Rex crackles through the air on their end.
“Somethin’ else, Rex?”
“Actually, yeah. We have some news.” Rex grins and rubs at his nape, and you can't help but to smile wide at him from your position at his side. The squad members all share a glance - a mixture of raised, inquisitive brows and narrowed, concerned eyes. Hunter steps closer to the projection, caution engrained within the features of his half-inked face as he crosses his arms.
“Tell them, love,” your sweet voice of reassurance crackles with the brief wavering signal - your hand laying to rest on his pauldron. Rex chuckles down at his feet and grabs your hand to bring it up to his chest, squeezing gently as he begins to acknowledge the others.
“Everything okay, you two?”
“Based on their lifted expressions and display of affection towards one another, it appears that this ‘news’ is of a positive, exuberant nature.”
You can’t help but laugh at Tech being Tech, which results in mixed reactions at the other end of the call. Rex inhales deep - the air quietly seeping through his nostrils on the exhale. “We’re, uh- we’re gonna have a baby.” His lit up eyes drop to his boots and he’s smirking at his feet as soon as the words leave his lips. You watch as the multiple pair of eyes widen with smiles creeping their way onto each member of the squad’s faces, but the first person to audibly respond is Tech - his focus not lifting from the device held in his hands.
“Are you certain?” All heads snap in Tech’s direction to where he’s leaned forward in the pilot’s seat, elbows resting on his thighs, continuing to tap away at the datapad. Smacking his bother’s knee, Echo squints at Tech and shakes his head.
“Yes, Tech,” you giggle as your hand releases from Rex’s and moves to rest against the beginnings of your baby bump, though you’re unsure if they are able to see either one of you from the chest down. “The bun has been confirmed as baking in the oven. We risked a brief visit to the local med center here, so, we’re certain.”
“Well then.” Tech’s brows lift above the rim of his goggles as he readjusts the spectacles with a finger pushing between them. “Felicitations to you both. That is quite extraordinary news. It seems that I was correct in-”
“That’s so wonderful!” Omega exclaims with the largest grin - hopping off the GNK and clapping her hands excitedly as she approaches you. “When are you getting the baby? Are we going to see the baby when we meet them at the rendezvous, Hunter?”
“Of course you're going to see the baby, Omega,” you answer softly for Hunter, giving him a quick smile and nod, saving him from having to explain. “It won’t be for quite a few months, though. Not until after the baby is born.” Omega’s brows pinch together in confusion, and you cautiously elaborate, unsure of what she already knows as far as what the natural-born process entails. “The baby has to grow inside of me first, and that takes a little while.”
"Inside of you?" Her curiosity is absolutely adorable. She turns to her brothers - soft eyes flickering to each one of them.
"You see, Omega, when-"
"Uh, Tech?" Rex clears his throat, and the intelligent trooper is quick to get the hint - closing his mouth and resuming to silently tap at the datapad. Echo is next to chime in, and he’s smiling like a fool, eyes wide.
“You’re gonna be a dad, eh? Wow... that’s- that’s just incredible, brother.”
“I’m gonna be an uncle!” Wrecker very loudly exclaims, and Omega and you share giggles at his enthusiasm.
“Technically, Wrecker, we are all going to be ‘uncles’ since Rex is our brother, genetically speaking. Therefore, any offspring he may produce would be considered as our nieces and nephews. That is how the nat-borns conduct their family trees.” Tech punctuates his statement with a sure nod - speaking with his finger raised in the air so as to draw attention to his point.
You’re so lost in the way Rex’s eyes continue to positively sparkle with pride and adoration as his brothers and Omega shower the two of you with congratulatory praises that you’re forgetting to respond to all of them.
“We appreciate it, everyone,” you say with an ear-to-ear grin - beaming at Rex. 
“We’ll see you all soon,” Rex concludes, “Stay safe out there.” 
The holo vanishes as the transmission disconnects, leaving the squad on board the Marauder to go over some more details of their next objective as well as to process the news.
“So...” Wrecker turns around and leads Gonky back to where he was benching the power droid before the call. “What do ya think Rex is gonna do?”
Hunter raises the brow bordered with dark ink. “What do you mean?”
“Are they going to keep this up, now that they’re going to have a kid? You know, the missions and stuff?”
“We have Omega,” Tech inputs matter-of-factly as he prepares the ship for exit from hyperspace. “And we are managing just fine, barring our dwindling ration supply.” Omega smiles sheepishly, but nods with confidence.
“Rex is a good man.” Echo swivels his seat around and sits up straight, meeting the four pair of eyes now gazing back at him. “Always tried to do what was best for his men, his brothers, and still does, even if it's beyond his control or out of his hands. Now that Rex is... free,” Echo puts the most stress into that word as it’s spoken - glancing down at his feet and chewing the inside of his cheek before continuing, “He’s in control of his life, and is able to choose his own path. And that path will lead to what’s best for his family.”
<<<>>> 
everyone tags:
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clones only tags:
@sergeant-hunter @kriffclone @saberdeity @echofoxfives @alucas528 @captainrexscyarika @kirinpl @lastphoenixfalling @bambiswriting
202 notes ¡ View notes
donald4spiderman ¡ 4 years ago
Note
Ok hear me out. Spencer is dating Reader and she’s always hated that she’s been more chubby/curvy. And one night in the middle of a case she calls him crying and Spencer just gets really soft and calms her down after a bad nightmare. And his heart breaks cause his loving girlfriend hates her body. So Spencer plans this elaborate date and proposes maybe? You can decide if the team have met her or not. I’d like it to be the original team but if you wanna combine the original and new teams together that’s cool too!
no bc my body image issues have been rampant lately so this is personal as hell to me. I work out a lot and i’m fit but i’ve never been SKINNY like i have thick legs and muscular arms andnnfnfjndjnffn so this is personal.
I modified this a bit but it’s still the same premises hope you like it! ***BTW IN THIS UNIVERSE THE S3-7 CAST EXISTS FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW— SO THE LATER SEASONS HAVE MORGAN AND HOTCH.
also sorry this is a long
TW: body image issues, discussions of food & weight, insecurity, crying, kissing
WC: 1.5k
-
You know, pragmatically, that you have nothing to worry about. Spencer chose you. And for the past four years, Spencer has worshipped you every day— again and again. He is the most loving, considerate, and tender partner you could ever wish for. He is near perfection.
You’ve met Spencer's friends many times. You’re not close with either of your parents, so the team of profilers welcomed you into their arms with grace and care. Each and every one of them is beautifully amazing and exceptionally brilliant.
Spencer‘s friends are not only badass, but they’re also gorgeous. JJ, Emily, and Garcia are national treasures— so visually stunning it’s almost sickening.
You knew he used to have a crush on JJ way before he met you. You’ve also heard the tale of Lila Archer, the celebrity actress who made out with your boyfriend in a pool. Spencer’s had an eventful life, full of beautiful, sweet, magnificent women— so why does he choose you?
You view yourself as bland in comparison. What do you have to offer Spencer that he can’t find elsewhere? You don’t have toned abs, slim hips, and slender arms. You’re not striking in any way.
Spencer calls you every night when he’s away on a case. He’s never missed a call, even when he got shot in the neck and kidnapped by a murderous cult. He’s reliable and consistent, and that eases your worries a little bit.
It’s eleven pm in D.C. and your phone rings right as your getting in bed.
“Hi, my love,” Spencer says breathily, his voice slightly muffled by the phone. He’s away in Ohio for a case.
“Hey.” You reply, the sweetness in his voice soured by your mood. “How’s the case going?”
“Good. JJ and I are about to pass out in our beds— we’re so tired.”
You can’t help the way your face drops. “Oh. Well, get rest.”
Your about to hang up before he interjects. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Why?” You know better than to lie to your boyfriend, who happens to be an expert on human behavior.
“Okay, I know a lie when I hear one. (Y/N), baby, what’s wrong?” He pleads.
You can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek. “God, I’m sorry. I just miss you so much. You always know what to do when I’m feeling like shit.”
Spencer knows how much you struggle with self and bodily acceptance. He hates the world for making you feel anything less than incredible, both inside and out.
“I miss you too, so much, (Y/N).” His voice is thick as if he’s going to start crying too. “I love you so much, so fucking much. You have no idea how beautiful and amazing you are.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He laughs through a sob that wrecks his body. “You deserve everything in this world. I promise to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You are the love of my life.”
You wipe the tears from underneath your eyes. “Sorry for keeping you up. You must be tired.”
“Never, if it means I get to talk to you.”
“I love you, Spencer.”
“I love you too, (Y/N). More than you’ll ever know.”
-
Spencer wakes up the next day with a newfound determination. The team solves the case as fast as possible, and by the end of the night, they’ve boarded the jet back home.
Spencer has more than enough hours to think about you and how much you mean to him. Hotch is seated directly across from him, rereading the case files.
“Hotch?” The wiser man looks up from his files, raising an eyebrow.
Spencer pauses for a moment. Maybe he’d be better asking Morgan or JJ for advice, considering Hotch’s tragic circumstances regarding Haley.
But no one loves like Hotch does-- sincerely, passionately-- stronger than anything else in the world. Spencer decides there’s no one better to ask.
“How uh did you know that Haley was the one?”
Hotch’s eyes soften for a bit. He clears his throat. “I knew since the day I met her that I would love her for the rest of my life unconditionally. She makes me complete. Do you feel that (Y/N) makes you complete?”
He already knows why Spencer is asking for his advice, steering the conversation in that direction.
“Yes. She’s my world.” Spencer whispers.
“Then it’s simple, really. Love doesn’t need to be complicated and precise. It’s what you do with it that matters.”
“I want to marry her, Hotch. I want to be with her for the rest of my life.”
Hotch smiles, “Then do it.”
Spencer feels the rush of excitement as he gathers everyone on the jet, including the prior sleeping passengers, filling them in on his big plans.
“I need all of your guys’ help.”
-
There’s a firm knock on your door at four in the morning. You know it isn’t Spencer because he has a key, but who could it be?
You take a cautious look out of your peephole to find Penelope, Emily, and JJ outside.
“What are you guys doing here?” You yawn. “For god's sake, it’s four am.”
“We know, and we’re sorry.” Penelope smiles.
“Is Spencer alright?” You ask, wondering if things suddenly went wrong during the case.
But by the joyous look on their face, you know nothing somber occurred.
“Spencer’s completely fine. But, we need to you to get changed and come with us. FBI’s orders.” JJ chuckles.
You change into warmer clothes in minutes, and the BAU ladies usher you into Emily’s car as fast as possible.
“So, no ones gonna tell me what’s going on?”
They shake their heads, “We’re just... running a quick errand.”
After a few more minutes of driving, Emily parks on the side of a dimly lit street.
“I need you to put this on.” She says, holding up a blindfold.
“Are you guys gonna murder me?” You joke, slipping the fabric over your eyes with little resistance.
“Quite the opposite, actually.” You don’t have time to think about what Penelope means before you’re being yanked out of the car.
You walk, guided by JJ, for four minutes. The grass beneath you crushes below your boots, and the hushed whispers of Emily and Penelope behind you do nothing to calm your nerves.
“Okay,” JJ says, halting to a stop. “You can take off your blindfold now.”
You hesitantly slip the blindfold off, revealing a brightly lit table in the middle of a secluded field. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi are standing off to the sides.
Suddenly, Spencer emerges from behind a tree, dusting the leaves and dirt off his adorable sweater.
“Hi?” You laugh, utterly confused by this situation. “What’s going on?”
His hands are shaking, and he has to swallow a few times before he can speak. “I-I uh got y-you apple pie— uh your favorite.”
Spencer walks you towards the table, where a small slice of warm pie sits lonely on the table.
“Y-you should um... eat it.” He urges, pointing at the knife and fork next to it.
You glance around, trying to gauge the emotions of everyone around you, but fail. Stupid profilers and their poker faces.
Your fork cuts into the heavenly smelling pie, and you scoop up a bite into your mouth.
“It’s... good? I’ll pretty much eat any pie you give me, Spencer.”
He smiles, “I know that. But t-this is a special pie.”
“Okay...”
“You should t-take a closer look— at the pie.”
You inspect the dessert, completely puzzled until a glinting piece of silver catches your eye. Spencer notices the shock in your face and catches the plate that almost falls out of your hand.
Morgan hands him a napkin, and when Spencer pulls an apple-covered ring from the slice of pie, you almost faint.
“No way.” You gasp; tears spring to your eyes as Spencer wipes the ring clean.
He holds it tightly between two fingers, bending to kneel on one knee.
“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I knew from the moment I met you that you were the most special woman I’d have the pleasure of meeting. A month later, you asked me out for our first date, and I couldn’t believe that someone as gorgeous and amazing as you would settle for someone like me.” You scoff at his humility.
“I spend every moment loving every part of you, (Y/N). None of my love will ever stop— ever. I promise to share my heart with you until the very end. There is absolutely no one I would rather be bonded to for the rest of my life. You are better than my dream girl because you’re real. You’re here, and you chose to love me every day— the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Y/N), will you do me the honor and great privilege of allowing me to become your husband?” You silently sob.
“Please say yes.” Spencer smiles.
“Yes!” You exclaim, pulling him up to hug him. “How could I say anything but!”
The dam breaks, and the entire team begins to cry as you and Spencer share a passionate kiss, almost collapsing down onto the grass from the sheer force of your love. He slips the ring onto your finger; it belongs there.
“I choose you, (Y/N).” He repeats.
“I choose you, Spencer, always.” You whisper into the crook of his neck.
Nothing’s ever felt so right.
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biggest-stupidhead ¡ 4 years ago
Note
more modern au levi x reader!! is it okay where reader makes petra jealous???
Just a reminder: WE DO NOT CONDONE PETRA SLANDER IN THIS HOUSE!!!
with that said, I will write this heavily focused on Petra to make it a lil angsty, hope you enjoy!
Summary: Petra watches her ex fall for another
Word Count: 1.7K
__ 
It had been two long years since Petra and Levi ended things. It wasn’t messy but it was painful, she had seen it coming from a mile away. He had grown just as distant as he had been when they first met. Staying late at work, texting her dryly, and using terrible excuses. Although she had known it was coming, she still was a wreck when he actually ended things. She spent the months following the break up drinking wine and crashing at Oluo’s place regularly. After two years she was finally feeling better, dare she say, ready to get back into the dating scene? Or at least that’s what she thought, she was scrolling through her instagram feed when she stumbled across Hange’s page. It was someone’s birthday, someone she wasn’t familiar with. 
A woman with bight eyes and an even brighter smile was in the center of the group photo. On her right was Levi, who had an arm thrown casually over her shoulder, the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. Petra pinched the screen to zoom into Levi’s side, where she saw a feminine hand on his waist. She stared stupidly at the image. She shouldn’t feel jealous, she had no right. It had been two long years since the break up. But the picture only dredged up old memories of times when she would hold Levi that same way. When that smile was directed to her. She then turned her attention to the caption, which read: 
Happy Birthday (Y/n)! 24 never looked so good!
She then scrolled through the comments, many of them consisted of birthday wishes and support. She lost interest when she didn’t see Levi’s username and instead went back to the collection of photos, three of them in all. The group one that she assumed had just been taken, the second one was a picture of Hange and you on the beach, Petra felt a involuntary wave of self consciousness wash over her at the site of you in a swim suite. The final picture was the one that hurt the most though, it seemed to be a very old picture of you, maybe from your early years in college? You were sitting on a couch with younger versions of Hange, Erwin, Levi, and Moblit. Levi’s arm was casually thrown over your shoulders. Why had he never mentioned you before? Were you the reason that they broke up? No Levi had assured her that it wasn’t like that, said he wasn’t seeing anyone else. She tried to stop herself from going down that rabbit hole, but she couldn’t seem to. Before she really knew what she was doing, she had clicked on your profile which she was almost disappointed to find as public. This meant that there was nothing stopping her from judging every perfect image that was posted, and to her pleasant surprise, there was only one photo of you and Levi. The photo was posted the week prior, the two of you were hiking in the mountains, the dusty trial behind you. Your face was flushed from the exertion of the climb, Levi seemed cool as a cucumber, his face blank and void of emotion. She scrolled through the post and found a video, the sound of your shoes crunching and Levi talking behind you were clear as day. 
“I mean come on, who uses fucking Lipton? Have some god damn class.” Levi spat, as you snorted in amusement. Petra found herself chuckling along with you at Levi’s little rant. She felt a rogue tear slide down her cheek when you showed the phone to Levi, who’s face fell from being mildly animated to apathetic once more. You cackled as he swiped the phone and the video ended abruptly. It was so innocent, it was clear from the rest of your page that you were a private person, much like Levi. With little indication that you were dating him, it left her wanting to know more. More about the girl that had taken her place, had managed to worm her way into Levi’s heart of stone and make herself comfortable. As soon as these thoughts crowded into her head, she deleted instagram all together and powered her phone down, determined to wipe her memory of the images she had seen. 
__
The music was a nice distraction from the awkwardness that hung in the air. You had arrived uncharacteristically early to Hange’s party, and consequently meeting a whole group of people that you had never met before. The new people were about your age, three young men and one stunning young woman. It was early fall and Hange’s annual bonfire bash as you all had dubbed the event. Basically you lit a massive fire, when you were younger it was your past assignments from your pervious school year, then it became just regular old wood. You tapped your finger against the cool beer bottle as you leaned up against the counter, the men were laughing obnoxiously as they dropped the alcohol that they’d brought into one of the many coolers. The woman was looking at you almost nervously, she seemed extremely on edge, shifting her weight back and forth, eyes wandering around the room in a jittery manner. You frowned, wondering what was bothering her, but ultimately deciding that it was not really your business. Erwin shimmied behind you, his hands on your shoulders as he slide past you into the kitchen. You caught his arm, clinging to his familiar presence. 
“Erwin.” you hissed as he stooped to reach your level. 
“Who are these people?” you asked as you held his bicep firmly in your grasp. He pulled away and looked at you with a confused expression. 
“You mean Levi didn’t tell you?” He said slowly, clearly he was unsure if it was his place to speak on the relationship between Levi and these people. 
“No....” You said carefully, not wanting to make Erwin uncomfortable. 
“Oh well they used to work in the same department before Levi switched.” He said, he looked over to the men and motioned for them to come over, they ambled over with curious expressions. 
“What’s up Erwin?” the dark haired man asked as he looked between the two of you. 
“Just thought I’d ought to introduce you to (Y/n) here, she’s an old friend of ours from high school.” Erwin explained, his hand still comfortingly placed on your mid back. You waved shyly and smiled at all of them, including the girl. 
“Pleasure to meet you.” The blonde with a ponytail said, outstretching his hand to shake yours. 
“I’m Eld, this is Gunther, Oluo, and that fine young lady over there is Petra.” He said, pointing at all of them respectively. 
“It’s so nice to meet you guys!” you said sweetly as you struck up a conversation with Oluo about what they thought about the department that they worked in. It didn’t go unnoticed that Petra remained nearly silent, her amber eyes wide and a bit fearful. When the interns arrived, the men were quick to go help them carry in the alcohol that they brought, leaving you and Petra alone in the kitchen. You cocked your head at her as you poured some pretzels into a large bowl. The warm glow of the setting sun cast a halo over her head and you couldn’t help but voice your admiration for her. 
“You’re really pretty.” you gushed as she blushed at your words and turned to look at you with wide eyes. 
“So are you...” She returned the compliment and you smiled, feeling more at ease now that the two of you were alone. 
“So how long have you known Hange?” You asked conversationally as you crumpled up the bag and tossed it into the trash. 
“Hm let’s see...about four years now?” She responded with a bit of a wistful tone. 
“Really? I’m surprised we haven’t met sooner!” you chuckled as the two of you opened a bottle of wine and poured it into two large glasses. The two of you strolled out into the bark yard, where Hange and Moblit were chucking large pallets of wood onto the fire pit. You and Petra sat down in two lawn chairs watching as Hange and Moblit bickered over if it was safe enough to light the fire with gasoline. 
“I am too, you seem....like a really nice girl.” Petra said a bit downcast as she looked deeply into her wine. 
“So do you! We should grab breakfast ooo or maybe even brunch sometime!” You said excitedly and Petra sat there in awe, wondering if there was even a mean bone in your body. Or if you had any clue that she had dated Levi. 
“Yeah...this is kind of random but...are you dating Levi?” She blurted out, her face turning to look at you with a flushed expression. You nodded nonchalantly and took another sip of your wine. 
“Yeah we just started dating about a year ago.” You said with a shrug, Petra inhaled, readying herself for the next words that would either make or break the future relationship between the two of you. 
“Did...you know we dated?” she said, cringing when the words left her mouth. She sounded crazy and she knew it, but she felt obligated to clear the air between you before it got bad. 
“Hm I think he mentioned it once or twice, and Hange told me about you when you first started dating.” You said looking up thoughtfully, your tone held no malice or any sign of ill will. 
“You’re not...” 
“Insecure? Nah, and don’t take that like I’m being cocky! I just mean that...” 
“No, no let’s just not do this. I’m sorry for bringing it up. God I’m such a bitch.” Petra went to stand and you followed her, catching her wrist. 
“It’s alright really, I don’t care about what happened between you and Levi. It’s frankly none of my business, I just...wanna be friends with you.” you smiled at her sheepishly as she looked at you with wide eyes. 
“Oh” She managed to say dumbly. 
“That is if you want to be friends.” You said, letting go of her hand and giving her some space. 
“Yeah...I think that I’d like that very much.” Petra said with a bright smile. 
__
In honor of Women’s History month, I couldn’t bare to write something that was a stereotypical jealous ex, so I did the next best thing and wrote this more geared towards the reader and Petra bringing each other up instead of tearing one another down. As someone who was apart of the fandom back in like 2014 I am way too familiar with writers turning Petra into a psycho bitch, and I don’t like that. SO I hope that this is good enough to fit the prompt! 
761 notes ¡ View notes
yellowsuitcase ¡ 4 years ago
Text
You’re mine // Draco Malfoy
A/N: This is an anon request I received. I had to alter the wording of one of the prompts a little bit for it to make sense, I hope that’s okay. Also please be mindful that this is my FIRST smut I’ve ever written. I’m happy with how it turned out but omg was it difficult. But anyway, enjoy and don’t be afraid to request! {Prompt list}
Summary: Draco and Y/N are friends with benefits until Y/N decides she’s done with him. Cedric tries to get with Y/N Draco gets jealous and smut follows.
Warning(s): SMUT! Swearing, Angst, Fluff
Word count: 4.4k
Prompts: #1 #4 #7 #28 #35 #47
All she could think about was his face. The way his grey eyes had pierced her soul last night—the feeling of his hands on her hips. 
“Earth to Y/N.”
Her attention snapped back to the present. A perplexed Hannah was looking at her. “You alright? You looked really zoned out.”
Y/N blinked rapidly, “Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Sorry. What were we talking about again?” Y/N asked while lightly slapping her cheeks to bring herself back to reality.
“We were going over our plans to study for the transfiguration exam. We agreed to meet in the library on Sunday.” Hannah said, her tone sounding slightly irritated.
“Oh yeah, that’s…” Y/N caught sight of him, her eyes glued to him until he left the Great Hall, “fine. That’s fine.” 
Hannah followed her gaze. “Seriously, Y/N? Malfoy? That’s who you hooked up with last night?”
Her friend’s words drove fear into her chest, “Would you shut up? Someone’s gonna hear you!” Y/N whisper yelled. Hannah threw her hands up in exasperation. 
Y/N shrugged her shoulders and picked up another slice of bread.“So what if it was Malfoy? What’s wrong with that?” she asked, oblivious as to why Hannah was so upset.
“What’s wrong with that? Y/N, you simply can’t be serious. Malfoy’s an arse. He bullies anyone who isn’t a Slytherin. Hell, he’s bullied you numerous times. Not to mention he’s not even that attractive.”
Y/N’s mouth fell open upon hearing her friend’s words. “Not attractive? Hannah, have you gone blind? Have you looked at the guy?
Hannah rolled her eyes and dropped her face into her hands. “There’s no hope for you. It’s over. I mean, I can already tell you’ve caught feelings.”
“I most certainly have not!” Y/N exclaimed, inadvertently causing the people around her to stare. “I’m not an idiot, it was a one-time thing,” she muttered while picking at her eggs.
“I hope you mean that,” Hannah said. Y/N couldn’t meet her eyes.
Her friend sighed and reached across the table to grasp Y/N’s hand. “Don’t think too much, you’ll give yourself a headache.”
Y/N ignored her and pulled her hand away while saying, “Snape will have our heads if we’re late, we’d better go.”
The two Hufflepuffs rose to their feet and made their way to the doors. As they were walking through them, Y/N felt a hand grab her wrist. She let out a little yelp and whipped her head around to see none other than Draco Malfoy. “I need to speak with you,” he said, his tone firm.
Hannah had noticed her friend disappear from her side. When Y/N looked back at her, her hip was popped, and her eyebrow cocked. Her facial expression suggested she wouldn’t be happy if Y/N stayed behind to talk with Draco.
Y/N gave her an apologetic smile, hoping it would appease Hannah. It did not. She shook her head and promptly stomped off to class. 
Slowly, Y/N turned around to face the blonde boy behind her. His hand hadn’t left her wrist, but he let go once he realized he was still holding it. Clearing his throat, he looked both ways before speaking. 
“Have you told anyone?” his grey eyes once again pierced her soul.
She shook her head, but then remembered Hannah. “I haven’t told anyone, but Hannah did figure it out,” she said, nervously biting her lip. His eyes flickered to her lips before returning to her eyes.
“If we are to continue this, nobody can know. Do you understand me?”
Y/N couldn’t keep her eyes from widening in shock. “I’m sorry, did I hear you correctly? You want to continue this?”
Draco raised his eyebrow. “You don’t?”
Her hands waved frantically. “No, no, I do, I just… I dunno, I didn’t think you’d want to is all. But I’d like to continue, yes. If that’s alright with you, of course.”
Draco gave her a displeased look, “You’re very annoying,” he said, “But you’re accessible so just keep it under wraps, alright? Besides, you wouldn’t want to see what happens if I find out you’ve told people. Understand?”
Y/N was quite frankly insulted by the way he spoke about her. He straight up, had called her “accessible.” She was about to give him a piece of her mind, but then he gave her a look, and she thought better of it and nodded frantically. 
“Yes. My lips are sealed.” She rocked back and forth on her heels in an attempt to calm herself down.
Draco scanned her up and down before nodding. “Good,” he said. And then he began to walk away. Y/N didn’t think before calling out to him. 
“How will I know when you wanna, you know, do it?”
He didn’t bother to stop walking when he called back, “I’ll find you.”
-------
Y/N buried her face in her pillow. If she concentrated, she could still smell his cologne on it. She breathed in deeply as she reminisced the events of a few nights prior. Somehow, Draco had found her while she was taking a midnight trip to the kitchens. He didn’t have to say anything to her, she knew what he wanted, and frankly, she wanted it too. 
He took them to her dorm since it was closer. He pushed her up against the wall, wrapped his hand around her throat, and whispered in her ear, “Such a pretty mouth. You’d better keep it shut, though. Wouldn’t want anyone to hear us, would you, darling?”
She still got chills when she thought about it. Lucky for her, it was a Saturday, meaning she could stay in bed as long as she liked. Or so she thought.
“Wake up. They’re serving pancakes today. You don’t wanna be late,” Hannah said in a sing-song voice. Y/N groaned; she really needed Hannah to stop interrupting her daydreams.
“Oh, don’t be like that. They’re serving blueberry pancakes.”
Y/N flung the sheets off her chest. “On second thought, let’s go,” she said. Hannah laughed, “I knew that’d get you up. You really need to stop staying up so late, though.”
“Yeah yeah, you need to stop getting up so early. The plants aren’t going to die if you fail to water them at exactly six in the morning.”
“How do you know? You forget to water Pepper all the time.” Hannah replied.
Pepper was Y/N’s little cactus. It sat on her nightstand in a yellow pot. She loved Pepper dearly.
“Hannah, Pepper is a cactus, and cactuses don’t need a lot of water, so take that!”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “Come on; we might legitimately miss pancakes if you don’t hurry.” And with that, the Hufflepuff threw on a sweatshirt and jeans and rushed down to the Great Hall.
Y/N was practically running through the corridors; she could almost taste the pancakes on her tongue. “Geez Y/N, wait up!” Hannah called after her, desperately trying to keep up. 
In her haste, Y/N didn’t notice the group of people turning the corner, and she wasn’t able to stop her feet. She crashed right into the boy in the middle of them.
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you,” Y/N stammered, holding out her hand to the boy she’d knocked over. 
He got to his hands and knees and pushed himself up. When he turned around and faced her, Y/N’s heart sunk. 
“Y/L/N?” He scoffed. “Look where you’re going next time. Blimey, what a waste of space,” he shouted, his minions laughing along with him. Y/N felt her face burn with embarrassment and a little bit of hurt. 
Hannah, who had caught up to her friend, chimed in, “Shut up, Malfoy, why do you insist on being such a git?”
“You wanna say that again, Abbott?” Draco threatened, reaching inside his robe for his wand.
“Hey, hey, let’s just calm down, alright? Nobody’s hurt, we ought to keep it that way,” Y/N reasoned, despite her desire to give Draco a right punch in the gut. Reluctantly, he put his wand away.
“Come on, boys, these twits aren’t worth our time,” Draco said coldly as he and his friends strutted away.
“What a knobhead, I mean honestly, you’d think he’d be a bit nicer towards the girl he’s sleeping with,” Hannah said through gritted teeth. Y/N didn’t even care about her friend’s volume. After all, it didn’t matter anymore. 
“Well, he’s not sleeping with me again. Not after that, I’m done with his shit,” Y/N said, tears gathering in her eyes.
Hannah smiled upon hearing her words, “Bloody hell, it’s about time you realized he was no good. Now let’s get some pancakes, yeah? Come on, you deserve some.” The pair walked into the Great Hall to begin their pancake feast.
---------
A few weeks later, Y/N was sitting on a bench by one of the many windows in the Hogwarts corridors when a boy wearing a Hufflepuff scarf walked up to her. She looked up and noticed it was Cedric Diggory. Cedric was only a year above her, but they hadn’t talked much.
“Cedric? Do you need anything?”
He smiled, “Nothing in particular, no. I just saw you sitting alone, and I thought you might enjoy some company. Am I mistaken?”
Y/N felt her face flush. “Oh, uhm no, you’re not wrong at all,” she stammered.
Cedric stood awkwardly. “Oh! How can you sit if I don’t move over?” Y/N asked while she gave a nervous laugh. Cedric was by far one of the most attractive boys in Hufflepuff, so it only made sense that his desire to sit with her, of all people, was making Y/N nervous.
He chuckled at her anxiousness and took a seat next to her. The bench was relatively small due to Y/N’s things taking up a quarter of the space. This caused her hips to touch his. This made her face burn even more.
“So why are you all alone on a Friday afternoon?” he asked.
Y/N felt her heart clench, “Oh well, my best friend, Hannah, and I are actually in a little bit of a row at the moment. I may have unknowingly talked about her crush a bit too loudly, and they overheard. She’s not very happy with me, understandably.”
“Ah, I see. But it was an accident, and surely she’ll forgive you sooner rather than later. Don’t you think?” Cedric asked, trying to reassure Y/N.
“I hope so. Lately, she’s been a bit dodgy. She’s been really short with me, yelling at me all the time. It’s not like her,” she remarked. 
“Perhaps she’s dealing with something personal. And if she is, then she’s probably taking out her frustrations on you. And don’t get me wrong,” he said while holding his hands up, “that doesn’t make her actions, okay, but if that is the case, then that would mean you’re not the problem. Does that make sense?” Cedric asked.
She gave him a warm smile and nodded her head. “Yeah, actually, it does. Thank you, I never thought about it like that,” she said.
He laughed, the deep baritone of his voice coming to the forefront. “Well, I’m glad I could show you a different perspective on the situation. Sometimes that’s all you need.”
“Yeah, I suppose so,” she said. When he didn’t reply, her eyes fell to her lap, too nervous to look him in the eyes. But then she felt his hand on her face. He gently took her chin between his thumb and fingers and turned her face upwards to look at him. He was smirking. 
“You don’t need to be nervous, sweetheart. I don’t bite,” Cedric said as he moved his hand from her chin to her hair. He pushed some stray strands behind her ear so that her face wasn’t covered.
Y/N’s heart began to pound. This boy was making her sweat. She noticed then that he had grey eyes, just like Draco. Her chest grew tight at the thought of him. She hated to admit it, but often she found herself missing the blonde boy, even if he was an arse.
Her attention was brought back to Cedric when he spoke, “If I were to ask you on a date, would you say yes?”
Air got caught in Y/N’s throat, and she launched into a fit of coughs. Cedric immediately reached for his wand. He took her hands and put one on top of the other to create a makeshift bowl. Pointing his wand to her hands, he said, “Aguamenti.”
Water spouted from the tip of his wand and flowed into Y/N’s hands. She eagerly slurped it up, soothing her dry throat. They repeated this process a couple more times before Y/N was satisfied.
“Thank you, that was so embarrassing. I’m sorry you had to do that.”
Cedric only laughed. “No problem. You sure you’re alright?” he asked.
She nodded fervently, “Yes, I promise.”
“Well, in that case, what do you say? To the date, I mean.”
Y/N tapped her finger to her lips, pretending to think. Cedric gave her an unimpressed look that made her giggle and break character. “Yes, Cedric, I’d love to go on a date with you,” she said.
A huge grin broke out on his face, and he rushed to his feet, “Brilliant, I’ll meet you in the common room tomorrow night at eight. Don’t be late!” he called as he sprinted down the hall. Y/N could only laugh at his playful nature. “Okay!” she yelled back to him. 
Once he rounded the corner and was out of sight, she let herself plop down on her back with a dreamy sigh. “I’m going on a date with Cedric Diggory,” she spoke out loud.
“How pathetic,” said a voice.
Y/N sat straight up and sharply whipped her head around. Sure enough, there stood Draco, this time without his minions.
“Shut up, Malfoy, what do you care anyway?” Y/N muttered.
“I don’t,” he said before he took a bite of the green apple in his hand, “It’s just that you fancied me a few weeks ago, didn’t you, Y/L/N?”
Y/N shifted in her seat and crossed her arms defensively. “So what if I did. I reckon you were starting to grow fond of me too.”
Draco scoffed, a smile appearing on his lips. “You’re insane to think I’d ever fancy you.”
His words were like a slap in the face to Y/N. She honestly thought that he would have developed some mutual feelings for her. It turns out she was wrong.
“Well, at least I’m not a low life scumbag like you. All you care about is your reputation. Don’t you have any emotions? Did you even care about me when we were fooling around, or was I just a toy to you?” Y/N’s chest heaved with anger as she finished yelling at him.
He stood eerily still. Silence fell over the corridor.
“You don’t even care anymore, do you? You never did.”
Draco clenched his fists, trying to control himself. But the longer he looked at her, the weaker his resolve became. Without thinking, he bolted towards Y/N, startling her as he did so.
He grabbed her chin forcefully and tilted her face upwards, a stark difference from how Cedric had just minutes ago. She avoided his eyes, breathing heavily with fear. 
“Look at me,” Draco demanded. Her eyes remained fixated on his chest.
“Perhaps you didn’t hear me. I said, look at me!” 
He was yelling now, his grip growing tighter. Y/N was afraid of him leaving bruises, so she caved and let her eyes travel to his. His pupils were wide, and his teeth were gritted. He saw the fright in her eyes and smirked. “Scared, Y/L/N?” he asked, chuckling at the look on her face, “you should be. It seems that you’ve forgotten who you belong to, little girl.”
Y/N’s heart must’ve been going a mile a minute; it felt like it was going to break out of her ribcage. The man in front of her looked so attractive. She began to feel her temperature rising.
“You’re mine,” Draco said before he pressed his lips to hers aggressively. She gasped into his mouth; he took this as an opportunity to slip his tongue inside. He ran his hand up her neck and into her hair, where he grasped it tightly between his fingers. This new leverage allowed him to angle her chin upwards. He kissed her intensely until he was forced to pull away to catch his breath. When he opened his eyes, he saw Y/N’s flushed face and swollen lips. She wasted no time and smashed her lips back onto his, letting out a soft moan as she did.
“God, you’re breathtaking,” he muttered, pulling away once again.
Y/N rolled her eyes, “I hate you,” she laughed. Draco smirked and looked away from her lips so that he could gaze into her eyes once more. “Liar,” he said. Y/N bit her lip. 
“Perhaps,” she said while giggling. 
Draco rolled his eyes and leaned in to kiss her neck, simultaneously running his hand underneath her button-up shirt. He heard her breath waver as he did this. Little noises escaped his mouth when he sucked her skin between his teeth. She squirmed under his touch, unable to sit still. His hand reached her breast, and he gingerly squeezed her through her bra. 
“Let’s take this elsewhere,” Y/N suggested. Draco paid her no mind and continued to suck on her neck. 
“Draco, please. We can’t do this here, and I want you now,” she pleaded.
He pulled away to smile smugly at her. “Desperate today, aren’t we?” 
Y/N whined in response, wiggling her hips. Draco laughed at her eagerness. “Alright, alright, let’s go.”
They jumped to their feet and grasped each other’s hand as they dashed down the hallway and all the way to the Slytherin common room entrance. “Dementor,” Draco whispered. The walls opened up to reveal a stairway heading down into the dark common room Y/N had come to be familiar with. Luckily, nobody was in the main room.
They practically ran up the steps to the boys’ dorm. Older Slytherin boys had figured out how to dispel the charm preventing females from entering a long time ago, so the pair were able to get inside easily.
Draco burst through the door to his shared room with Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise. “Out,” he demanded. The boys didn’t ask questions. They simply dropped what they were doing and left the dorm room.
He turned to Y/N. “Where were we?” he asked playfully while he took his shoes off.
“Don’t tease me, Malfoy,” she replied snarkily as she did the same.
“You’re not the one in charge here, love,” Draco snapped while pushing her backward towards his bed. She fell onto the emerald green sheets covering his mattress. He wasted no time climbing on top of her. She immediately rolled her hips upwards, craving friction. Draco grabbed her hips and pushed them into the bed. “Patience, love,” he said softly.
But Y/N wasn’t having any of it. She writhed underneath him, trying to break free of his hold. He didn’t like this one bit, so he put his hand on her throat. This halted her movements instantly.
“Be still, little girl. Good things come to those who wait,” he said in a sultry voice. Y/N nodded, her eyes wide open. 
Slowly, he trailed his hand from her hickey covered neck down to her chest where he began to unbutton her shirt. She struggled to remain motionless as he skillfully removed her shirt and tie. He licked his lips when her shirt was out of the way, and he could see her full breasts. 
“Take it off,” he commanded. Y/N sat up and reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. When it fell from her shoulders, Draco latched his mouth onto her nipple, causing her to let out a deep moan. He smirked as he flicked her nub with his tongue. His other hand was making its way to her center. 
Y/N didn’t notice his touch until a finger slipped inside her. She gasped sharply and felt herself clench down on him. He detached his mouth from her breast and lightly laughed. 
“Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”
Y/N moaned and whispered, “Just fuck me already, you arsehole.”
Draco hummed, pretending to consider her request. “No, I don’t think I will. I don’t think you deserve it.”
She whined and rolled her hips again. As she did this, he slipped another digit into her pussy. “Fuck, Draco,” she groaned. Suddenly, he removed his fingers. He watched as she pressed her thighs together, trying to stimulate herself. “What the hell?” she asked angrily. 
“Do you want me to get naked or not, darling?”
Y/N crossed her arms across her chest and pouted. He simply laughed at her and began to unbutton his own shirt as well as remove his belt. She took this time to kick off her skirt and underwear. 
Draco bit his lip when he saw her bare pussy. He felt his dick twitch in his pants, and he sped up his pace, eager to continue what he started. 
Once he’d gotten his pants off, he leaned his face downwards and began to kiss the insides of her soft thighs. She propped herself up onto her elbows so she could watch as he got closer and closer to her center. When his tongue made contact with her pussy, she felt a shudder go through her entire being, and she let her head fall back onto the plush pillows.
“Draco,” she moaned as he sucked on her clit, sending waves of pleasure through her body. Her hands found his hair, and she gripped his blonde locks tightly, trying to keep herself stable as he continued to lick and suck her.
He continues eating her out for nearly ten minutes before adding his fingers back into the equation. He swiftly slides three fingers inside her wet pussy. Y/N gasped out in pleasure. “Please,” she said, not quite aware of what she was begging for. Draco moved his fingers in and out of her while still sucking her clit. “Fuck! Right there, right there, please don’t stop,” she pleaded.
Draco obliged and maintained his pace. Y/N arched her back as it all became too much. Her mouth fell open as her climax overtook her system. Draco didn’t stop his motions. He continued stimulating her through her orgasm, only pulling away when he felt aftershock jolts pulse through her body. Y/N’s eyes began to close.
“We’re not done yet, sweetheart,” Draco said while pulling his boxers off and beginning to palm himself. He leaned down to kiss her softly, allowing Y/N to taste herself on his lips. She moaned into the kiss and ran her hands up his scalp. His hand reached for his nightstand to the left of his bed. Pulling away from the kiss, he dug into the drawer and pulled out a condom, quickly rolling it onto his dick.
She pulled him back in for another kiss while he lined himself up at her center and slightly pushed the tip inside. Y/N couldn’t resist the urge to wiggle her hips, successfully making Draco hiss. He put his hands on either side of her head and, without warning, slammed his dick inside her and began thrusting in and out at a quick pace. 
She cried out in ecstasy as she finally felt herself become full. The pressure in her abdomen began to build again. Draco’s eyebrows were tightly knit as he focused his energy into each firm thrust of his hips. The sound of skin slapping seemed to echo through the dorm.
Y/N wrapped her legs around his waist as he slowed his pace, opting to tease her rather than chase his own climax. The feeling of him gently pushing into her made Y/N whine in frustration. She wanted to reach her high so badly, and Draco was making it difficult. She decided she wanted to cum, so she sneakily stretched her hand down to her clit. But it was promptly slapped away by the man on top of her.
“Don’t even think about it, little girl,” he growled. But he began to pick up his pace, making Y/N mewl delightfully as the pressure once again began to increase. It seemed like Draco was getting close as well, his thrusts were sloppy, and he was panting hard.
“Please, please, I’m so close, Draco,” she cried out.
“Me too, sweetheart, me too,” he said in between grunts of pleasure.
He felt her pussy grow tighter as it contracted around his dick. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer. Each thrust felt better than the last. Her hips met his, eagerly, over and over until finally, she felt herself tip over the edge yet again. Y/N saw stars as Draco pounded into her even faster as he chased his release. He drove his dick in and out of her pussy until he, too, met his climax, cumming into the condom while her walls twitched around him. 
Draco lets his body collapse on top of her, both of them breathing heavily as they came down from their highs. Slowly, he pulled himself out of her, hissing as he did. She whined at the loss of her feeling of fullness. He took off the condom, threw it into a nearby bin, and then lied down next to Y/N.
“That was incredible,” Y/N uttered quietly. Draco laughed when he saw the blissful look on her face. He rolled over so that his body was facing hers, and he pulled her towards him. She nestled her face into his chest. 
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. However, I do need to clear some things up,” Draco said while stroking her hair. She hummed against him.
“And what would that be?” she asked.
“Well, for starters, I’m gonna need you to tell Cedric you’ve changed your mind about your guys’ little date,” he said in a firm tone of voice. Y/N laughed into the crook of his neck. 
“I’m dead serious. If you don’t tell him, then I will. Don’t test me.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll tell Cedric I changed my mind. But does this mean we’re…”
“Official? Yes, it does. I thought I conveyed that when I told you you’re mine,” Draco said, reminding her of today’s previous events.
He felt her wiggle in his arms. “What’s got you so squirmy tonight? You haven’t sat still for even a moment,” he chuckled. She mumbled an answer.
“Didn’t quite catch that, love,” Draco teased.
“I said, you, you nitwit,” she whispered angrily. He laughed and placed a kiss on her head. It felt good to have her back in his arms. And this time, he wasn’t going to let her go.
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