#( puck. what's your poison? )

[facts-i-just-made-up]

i need a list of your shortest facts to read off to friends in udder dead pan. most of the recent facts are too long to read off.

My shortest few factoids-

I've never written any short factoids.

I never tried to do one.

Short facts are hard.

Billionaire Howard Hughes once attempted to make a film of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and the production would become one of Hollywood’s greatest disasters, taking the lives of over 90 actors and crew, costing nearly half a billion dollars, destroying an entire island, and almost causing a 3rd world war. A party was held to mark the start of production at one of Hughes’ seaside homes and was sadly marred when a drunken Hughes began shooting into the air with his crossbow and killed an albatross, which fell into the punch bowl, offending several actors, who departed the production. This caused a massive production delay during which Hughes bought up over 50 warehouses (including the world’s largest building at the time) to hold the sets and specially built water tanks until casting was replenished. Two of these warehouses burned down (including the world’s largest building fire at the time), destroying the sets which then had to be rebuilt. By the time Hughes decided to cast unknown actors in the lead roles, ten more major set pieces had rotted away delaying the production further. Finally in October of 1948 the new sets and all actors were in place on the luxurious island of Bikini Atoll. The crew was to arrive at the shooting location on October 26th but was delayed by weather. This turned out to be a good thing as the United States conducted an unannounced nuclear test on October 27th, annihilating the island and the sets completely. The island is still toxic, and Howard Hughes, who owned the island, was compensated only $212 for his losses by the government. Undeterred, Hughes began again with fresh sets, and new actors as the previous group had long since departed by 1950. This time, production finally began and footage was shot. It was never developed however because despite the expenditure of $800,000 on pyrotechnics for the first scenes shot, nobody had thought to temperature-protect the film canisters, which were opened at the lab and found to have melted completely into what amounted to large plastic pucks. Hughes filmed the scene again, at the same cost, and then a third time when he was not satisfied with a background extra’s hair. This new footage too was lost when it was captured by rebellious 1950s teenagers who held it for ransom. They asked only $50 but Hughes refused to pay on principle. The actors and crew were even more upset than Hughes that their work had been for nothing and so began the “Leagues Riots” of 1951. What sets remained were once more burned down, this time in protest. Then the real problems began. By then, the Disney production was under way and Hughes spent millions more to spy on and sabotage the rival production. Several Disney employees fell victims to car bombs, others to arsenic poisoning, and one to auto-erotic asphyxiation, but Hughes was not considered responsible for that particular event. Walt Disney, of course, declared war. The “War Between The Sets” began in 1953 as Hughes forces were driven off by Disney’s hired guns, the Mouseketeers which in those days were a fully armed paramilitary force. This skirmish took seven lives, but it was only the beginning. Hughes used his government contracts to secure two bombers and arms weighing in excess of 500 tons, all of which were dropped on Disney owned installations. Disney’s retaliation was severe. Hughes hotels burned days after, there were so many fires that Vegas and LA were both lit as bright as daylight even at midnight from the blazes. Hughes responded with bombings and drone strikes, with “drone strikes” in 1953 referring to dropping bees on ones enemy. The conflict at one point threatened to spill over into Russia’s Southern American interests, leading the president to demand Hughes back down before turning the cold war into a nuclear conflict. By the time a truce was called, Disney’s film was in theaters and Hughes was ready to call it a loss.

Mice can't fart.

[soupandsauce]

How the glee guys would act during your period

Summary: Headcannons about how the guys would treat you during your period

Sam Evans, Finn Hudson, Noah Puckerman, Artie Abrams

I'm really into my Glee phase again and I will NOT apologize. I'm also on my period so DEAL WITH IT

Sam

I am in love with this man

"I saw this meme and got you this mensuration crustacean cause I thought it was funny"

"I got you this entire Costco pizza"

*rubs your tummy*

*kisses your tummy*

"Babe Santana let me borrow a period pain stimulator so we can go through this together" five minutes later in glee, in the middle of Racheal's solo "AHHHHHHHHH!" "Baby it's only up to the third setting" "TAKE IT OFF"

Finn

washes your sheets for you

"Here baby, I started you a bath"

"Do you need space? Ill kill myself for you. Want me to drink poison? Ill do anything for you"

"Do you need any chocolate? Ill get you chocolate"

*stays home from school to take care of you*

*rents movies for you two to watch*

Puck

"What size pussy are you?"

"You want sport mode or secret agent?"

"Babe ill fuck you, it will help I swear"

Surprisingly domestic

if you're overly emotional and someone hurts your feelings he will beat them up

"Who's vagisil, is she your cousin from Cleveland?"

Artie

Perfect hight to see if you bled through your clothes

"Do you want to tie my jacket around your waist?"

"I promise it's not that bad, baby, you look fine."

"How about we go to my place and my mom can make us dinner."

"I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how bad it hurts."

*the most patient guy ever*

[ago0112]

The Bear, The Bard, and Hamlet

Christopher Storer pulls from so many media types, music, movies, opera, theater, and it's beautiful. He is on point with Alfred Hitchcock in telling stories visually.

Like others have mentioned @gingergofastboatsmojito @thoughtfulchaos773 @currymanganese he pulls from the Bard, William Shakespeare. Fairest Creatures and Midsummers Night's Dream.

Another is Hamlet. Long story short, Hamlet's uncle kills his dad, marries his mom, and he goes, rightfully so, a bit mental with wanting revenge. (Yes, yes, yes, it's far more poetic than that. Worry pas, I get it. My dad is a retired English Lit professor.)

So, how does this relate to The Bear? Well, Mikey is definitely the stand in dad for Carmy and Nat. But, take it a step further. Their dad, seemingly, vanished, left them. Their "uncles," Lee and Jimmy, are connected with unsavory types. *cough *cough the mob. Mikey, Donna, and Jimmy say he wasn't good with the business. This has me wondering if, like with his son's, he went looking for a loan that he either couldn't, didn't, or wouldn't pay back. Not that Jimmy or Lee killed him, but they know what happened to him. And I feel that they also had something to do with Mikey's death. Again, not that they did it, but they know more than they are letting on. Jimmy feels so guilty this season. And felt so guilty to give Mikey the money in the first place. Where is that guilt coming from?

So, back to it. Carmy is Hamlet (Hamlet is driven by revenge. Carmy is driven by a need to prove himself for attention and acceptance. And kinda revenge, too.) Mikey is King Hamlet (king Hamlet is Hamlet's father. Mikey is the stand in dad to the bear siblings). Claudius is Uncle Lee (fucking asshole abusive prick. And I know there's more to Mikey's death and Lee had a part to play.) Donna is Gertude (Hamlet's relationship with his mother was strained and she was also poisoned. Carmy's relationship with Donna is messed up and her drinking also isn't good for her.) Ophelia is Claire (She gets burned by Hamlet. Not literally. Which does happen to Claire. No matter how I might feel about her.) Jimmy is Polonius ( "He is the chief counsellor of the play's ultimate villain". Jimmy is in businesss with Lee. And Polonius is supposed to be a busy body. Which, let's face it, Jimmy is.) Fak and Teddy are Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (I want more space for them lol.)

Let's add the other Shakespeare plays in here, too, so we can get a good idea of the whole complete story of the Bear.

I also love that Richie is Puck. His fucking dream weave, people.

The rest of the Faks are The mechanicals.

Syd is like Cordelia. (King Lear's youngest daughter. Yes, I know, another play but still relevant. She refuses to wax poetically about the love of her father in public just to get some land. He refuses her and makes her life hard... Syd's not signing the agreement and is not really enjoying this version of Carmy.) She's honest, true, and brave. Puts up with a lot of shit.

I'd like to go back to two characters though. Dum and Dummer, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern or Neil and Teddy Fak.

In Hamlet

"They are two old school friends of Hamlet, and they come to visit him after his father's death, though it turns out that they are called to Denmark by King Claudius and Queen Gertrude to spy on Hamlet. They represent corruption and deceit in the play, and their existence and actions are full of irony."

Wait, what was that last part again?

"They represent corruption and deceit in the play, and their existence and actions are full of irony."

Hamlet ends up killing them, lol.

I don't think Carmy will. But it's definitely going to be interesting. Oh, Ophelia goes mad (because of Hamlet) and drowns herself...I don't want that for Claire. Hopefully, she moves on. Clearly they aren't good for each other.

Also, Richie, I want more of your dream weave. Lord, what fools these mortals be, am I right? Come on Robin Goodfellow, show us the goods.

[halffootguildofficial]

Another old man?

I suppose it is possible

Oh yeah! The names shroomy. Your local walking talking sentient mushroom

I run a store down the road ( @shroomysshop )

Stop by if you have any alchemical or magic item related needs!

- @ask-walking-mushroom

Anonymous asked: Hello other world old man You wouldn't happen to have rather sweet on hand would you? Turns out running a shop is harder than I thought -@ask-walking-mushroom

"So you're the Shroomy I've heard so much about..."

Chilchuck puts his hands on his hips, exasperated but impressed all the same. The second walking mushroom he's come across and this one is trying to get him to support it's business. They grow up so fast, supposedly.

He's honestly more surprised that walking mushrooms can eat food than he is at the fact that Shroomy is having difficulty running a business. He was a kid once, struggling to run a tavern all on his lonesome and start a guild on top of that. A lot of trial and error. An awful lot of making an ass of himself.

"Cup of hot chocolate is one gold, but if you want food, I can hand you our dessert menu," he says conversationally, "The first thing you pick is free, but only because Puck would kick my ass if I didn't let you in on the Friends and Family from another Timeline Discount."

"By the way. Your shop. Do you do magic item appraisals? I want to know what this amulet I've gotten recently does. They told me it prevented transformation magic, but for all I know, it could be ailing me with a slow-acting poison. Or some kind of ancient magic that'll get me arrested by elves."

[ryangravytrain]

For the prompts: How about a nr. 22 from the list of 150 prompts ("He's dead. Again.") with Jonas and a dev of your choosing? 🥺

Oh Jonas, My criminally underrated swiss. I give him both love and sorrow today in the form of a time loop. Enjoy!!

Send me prompts!

Jonas groaned as his alarm clock went off. He normally didn't mind, was usually up before then. But after reliving the same day for who knows how long, it got tiring. There was nothing unusual about the morning. He’d wake up, make breakfast, call Nico to make sure he was awake, get dressed, head to the rink for practice, then go through his game day routine. It was normal, everything was normal.

Until the game.

It was late in the third when it happened. The game was tied and everyone was playing hard, Jonas lost count of how many fights and scrums broke out. Jonas had stolen the puck and passed it to Nico who took off down the ice. He made it to the other zone and went to take the shot when he got crushed into the boards.

Jonas watched in slow motion as his friend, his captain, crumbled onto the ice in a heap. He watched as the refs blew the play dead. The arena fell silent as seconds passed without any movement from Nico. The trainers came out, trying to wake him up but by the sight of the stretcher coming out they were not successful.

The rest of the night was a blur. They canceled the game. Jonas drove to the hospital and begged the nurse to let him into Nicos room. He held his hand as the doctor explained how Nicos head hit the boards at just the wrong angle, how if he had turned just slightly he would've been fine. But instead, Nico would most likely never walk again, much less skate.

So when Jonas woke up the next morning, or that same morning for the second time, he was determined to make it right. However when it came time to pass the puck he made sure to pass wide so that Nico missed it. But instead of Nico getting checked into the boards, he slipped and got cut by a skate blade and lost movement in his hand. The next “loop” Nico got crushed between two players. Then he made it through the game unscathed but got into a car crash on the way home. Then he got food poisoning that turned into appendicitis that wasn't caught in time, then another much worse car crash. 

It seemed like no matter what Jonas did Nico either got seriously injured or…much worse. He was losing hope about ever saving Nico, about making sure he was okay. But he was determined, he was going to save Nico even if it was the last thing he did.

[supernatural-bias]

HII!! appearance: 5, 7, 19. objects: 1, 3. food&drink: 1, 3, 10. weather&nature: 2, 11, 19. community&relationships: 2, 4, 20. mind,body&soul: 4, 17, 20. hobbies&activities: 2, 9, 12. for puck!!!! (saw ur ask btw im working on it rn)

what are your character's opinion on scars?

concidering their cousin cru has the most scars out of anyone pucks ever seen, and 2d is their best friend walking around with dents for eyeballs, it's safe to say puck doesn't care about them. if anything, they find them interesting. they're sort of like a story that's been mapped out on someone's body. waiting to be told

is there someone your character tries to look similar to?

not really? they hate dressing up for other people, or even just dressing up in general, so anything they wear is purely inspired by their own preferences. i guess for a bit on plastic beach they wore a hat that reminded them of noodle, but that was more of them grieving than trying to look like her

if your character had to get a tattoo what would it be?

puck has a tattoo! it's just a tiny one, but it's a little bass on their shoulder blade. they say it's in honor of the band, but the instrument looks oddly similar to el diablo. if they ever had to get another one, it'd probably be a matching tattoo with 2d

is there an item your character doesn't like to leave without?

their sunglasses, or a pen and pad for writing down lyrics. inspiration can strike and the weirdest of times

what type of object is likely to catch your character's attention?

something comfortable looking, or wacky. they like weird, off putting fashion, and it shows. also! trinkets for the band. puck enjoys giving gifts

what flavor would your character say their personality is?

maybe like an earl gray tea with some honey. mellow, but also a bit caffinated and ready to go

is there a food or drink your character is unwilling to try?

after they get clean, edibles. anything with weed or drugs in it. they still drink alcohol after getting clean, but only in moderation. besides those, puck will never eat murdocs cooking again. not after he gave everyone food poisoning in between shows one time

what is a childhood meal your character cherishes?

biscuits and gravy, or grits!! their parents never really cooked them a ton of home made meals, though, so the fondness just comes from growing up in a town where they ate a lot of that type of food

has your character had a meaningful encounter with an animal?

i don't think so, no. they punched the whale terrorizing 2d on plastic beach once, but that wasn't really meaningful as much as it was painful. punching a whale hurts

what part of nature would your character most resonate with?

the sky. grins

what animal would your character say best represents them?

a fox!

what is your character's favorite kind of social event?

they hate most public events to do with fame, like award shows, but puck is partial to the club when they're younger and sitting backstage at concerts

is your character upfront about their feelings?

sort of? they are better about it overtime, and definitely more open than some of my other characters, but puck still struggles with being genuine. they hide behind a wall a lot of the time

what would it take for your character to get into a fight?

making them uncomfortable or coming onto them when they're very obviously not into it

does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?

puck does, and they've seen plenty of stuff to back up their beliefs, but they dont necessarily care about any of that stuff. if it's not bothering them, it isn't their problem

is your character more energized in the morning, afternoon or at night?

the nighttime, definitely

is there a fear your character wants to learn to overcome?

their family.

does your character have a secret hobby?

they like reading when they can, but that's not really a secret. some of their favorite books they can be seen with quite often; like crime and punishment or musician biographies

what is a topic your character would be excited to talk about? 

the few times they've agreed to do an interview, puck has always been very in depth about their writing process. they love talking about it, and giving advice to younger artists looking for guidance in the musical industry

what kind of music does your character enjoy?

i feel like the obvious answer is gorillaz's music, but it's true. especially songs that 2d has written and sung exclusively— or one's that mean a lot to puck (take for example melancholy hill). they just love 2d's vocals, he is their best friend after all. but they also are super into de la soul, fleetwood mac, the cranberries, tool, and a bunch of other bands

[gaffney]

totally stealing this from you but i am very curious: what are your top 3 julie rarepairs?

ok so after a lot of filtering (why is there fast and furious fic in the julie tag???), i've deduced that the top 3 most popular julie pairings on ao3 are adam/julie, connie/julie, and dean/julie, so i'm considering everything else is a rarepair!!

charlie/julie. i just love how comfortable these two are with each other ever!! like charlie was hanging off of her basically 5 seconds after they met, or him catching julie in a hug after she caught the puck. also this deleted scene in d3 where he's got an arm around her and fulton. she's very relaxed around him and is usually near his side in bg scenes. i also really like that moment in d3 where charlie ices the puck because he realizes julie's having a hard time, and then skates over to tell her 'way to hang tough'. RESPECT. VALIDATION. two things i really wish they'd given to julie more. i don't remember anyone else complimenting julie's skills and i love that charlie looks out for her. (i mean the writers even made her starting 1st all about goldberg's feelings. hell, julie ended up complimenting goldberg even though he basically poisoned her... blergh). we don't really get to see what type of people julie is attracted to aside from scooter who was kinda a snake, but i def think charlie has a thing for headstrong people who speak their minds (hi linda) and julie fits that description. and considering julie actually shares charlie's main interest with him (hockey), it's easy to imagine them together. anyway self-promo but read my charlie/julie fic rose-colored boy bc it is canon TO ME.

guy/julie. SO ADMITTEDLY, i do only ship this if they're poly with connie because i think they would work super well as a trio, but like, d3 made me go 👀 because it felt like (contrary to the popular belief of connie & julie being besties) guy got julie in the divorce. like they were constantly together?? but yeah, honestly, my reason for this is simply that i think guy is a sweet dude (who likes his partners to be able to destroy him) and julie deserves to be doted on and also they are both in love with connie so obviously they are also in love with each other.

julie/tammy. considering they haven't even met i literally have no reason other than tammy's "PEOPLE!" vs julie's "AND GIRLS!" lines. BUT LIKE IMAGINE. i think they would butt heads over how similar they are but then realize they'd work great together and kiss. that's it that's the fic. i will write it one day...

i think there's a case to be made for julie/russ but i mostly view them as gossip-y besties. i would however read it if anyone else wrote it...

[bi-lavelent]

Lone Wolf (Quinn Fabary x Fem-reader part17)

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Cussing, Bullying, Smut

McKinley high glee club:

Schue held up a list ranking all of the Glee members based off sexiness.

“This is serious principal Figgins is threatening to disband the club.” Schue said

“Why are we playing this game we all know it was Puck.” Santana said

“Back off I didn’t do squat.” Puck said

“Then why’s your girlfriend first on the glist.” Tina said

“Why is Puck even at the top? He should be, like, negative 3000.” Hope said

“Why are you bullying me?” Puck asked

“Because my sisters not here anymore to knock you down a couple pegs.” Hope said

“The only reason your sister hates me is cause she wants to get into the pants of all the girls I’ve had sex with.” Puck said

“Well I didn’t know that. If wasn’t you it was Jesse.” Hope said

“Why me?” Jesse said

“Cause you finally got away from the low lighted library and realized Rachel looks like an ogre. That’s why you put Mostly all women at the top.” Hope said

“Stop no one’s accusing anybody of anything seriously Puck did you do it?” Schue asked

“I said no I’m a delinquent sure I like setting stuff on fire and beating up pepole I don’t know. I own that. But I’m not a liar.” Puck said

“What to say it’s not one of the women.” Hope said

“Yeah like you.” Rachel said

“Hello no if it was me I wouldn’t be in sixth place. I would put myself at the top baby.” Hope said

“Okay here’s the important point between this and posting coach Sylvester’s personal video on YouTube. You guys are getting a pretty bad reputation.” Schue said

“Why is that a bad thing maybe if we seem more dangerous people would stop flushing my glasses down the toilet.” Artie said

“Look things are hard right now I get it your under a lot of pressure with regionals coming up and I know that winning sectionals hasn’t had the positive effect on your popularity that a lot of you thought it would. But becoming what you despise is not the answer.” Schue said

“Man this song is whack.” Mercedes said

“No it’s not it’s a terrific song on a long list of top hits that because of time or some bad press has become a joke and like you guys it time to start rehabilitating it’s bad reputation. The assignment for the week is for all of you to find songs like this mine them for what works and make them great again and then hopefully you can apply this musical lesson to your own lives.” Schue said

“This song should be arrested for the crime of sucking.” Jesse said

“You wanna bet.” Schue said

Yo VIP, let's kick it Ice, ice baby Ice, ice baby

Alright stop, collaborate and listen Ice is back with my brand new invention Something grabs a hold of me tightly Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know Turn off the lights, and I'll glow

To the extreme, I rock a mic like a vandal Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle Dance, go rush to the speaker that booms I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom

Deadly, when I play a dope melody Anything less than the best is a felony Love it or leave it, you better gangway You better hit bull's eye, the kid don't play If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice, ice baby Vanilla Ice, ice baby

Vanilla Ice, ice baby Vanilla Ice, ice baby Vanilla

Now that the party is jumping With the bass kicked in, and the Vegas are pumping Quick to the point, to the point, no faking Cooking MCs like a pound of bacon Burning them, if you ain't quick and nimble I go crazy when I hear a cymbal And a hi-hat with a souped up tempo I'm on a roll, it's time to go solo

Rollin' in my 5.0 With my rag-top down so my hair can blow The girlies on standby, waving just to say "Hi" "Did you stop?" No, I just drove by Kept on, pursuing to the next stop I busted a left, and I'm heading to the next block The block was dead, yo So I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue

Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis Jealous, 'cause I'm out getting mine Shay with a gauge, and Vanilla with a nine Ready for the chumps on the wall The chumps acting ill because they're full of eight ball Gunshots rang out like a bell I grabbed my nine, all I heard were shells Falling on the concrete real fast

Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas Bumper to bumper, the avenue's packed I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack Police on the scene, you know what I mean They passed me up, confronted all the dope fiends If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice, ice baby Vanilla Ice, ice baby Vanilla Ice, ice baby Vanilla Ice, ice baby Vanilla

Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet Miami's on the scene, just in case you didn't know it My town, that created all the bass sound Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground 'Cause my style's like a chemical spill Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel Conducted and formed, this is a hell of a concept

We make it hype, and you want to step With this, Shay plays on the fade Slice like a ninja, cut like a razor blade So fast, other DJs say "Damn!" If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram

Keep my composure, when it's time to get loose Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it Check out the hook while D-Shay revolves it

Ice, ice baby Vanilla Ice, ice baby Vanilla Ice, ice baby Vanilla Ice, ice baby Vanilla Ice Yo man, let's get out of here Word to your mother

Ice, ice baby, too cold Ice, ice baby, too cold, too cold Ice, ice baby, too cold, too cold Ice, ice baby, too cold, too cold

“Pls don’t rap again or else I will walk out that door.” Hope said

“So Jesse, Hope do you think this song still sucks?” Schue asked

“No but please I’m begging you never rap again.” Hope said

At Crawford

“okay guys this weeks theme is songs that got canceled. Originally it was gonna be country songs that got canceled. But I’ve realized that country artist can get away with saying almost anything. So find a song that was canceled rather by the public or by the industry as a whole or by the artist themselves. Like Eminem with cleaning out my closet.” I said

”An example please.” Jess said

“Okay. Loretta lanes the pill.” I said

You wined me and dined me When I was your girl Promised if I'd be your wife You'd show me the world But all I've seen of this old world Is a bed and a doctor bill I'm tearin' down your brooder house 'Cause now I've got the pill

All these years I've stayed at home While you had all your fun And every year that's gone by Another baby's come There's a gonna be some changes made Right here on nursery hill You've set this chicken your last time 'Cause now I've got the pill

This old maternity dress I've got Is goin' in the garbage The clothes I'm wearin' from now on Won't take up so much yardage Miniskirts, hot pants and a few little fancy frills Yeah I'm makin' up for all those years Since I've got the pill

I'm tired of all your crowin' How you and your hens play While holdin' a couple in my arms Another's on the way This chicken's done tore up her nest And I'm ready to make a deal And ya can't afford to turn it down 'Cause you know I've got the pill

This incubator is overused Because you've kept it filled The feelin' good comes easy now Since I've got the pill It's gettin' dark it's roostin' time Tonight's too good to be real Oh, but daddy don't you worry none 'Cause mama's got the pill Oh, daddy don't you worry none 'Cause mama's got the pill

I went home and started looking for songs.

“What is your lesson in glee club this week?” I asked Santana

“Finding songs that lost their traction because of bad press or too much time. How about you babe what do you have to do.” Santana asked

“Pretty much the same songs that have been canceled rather by the public, the industry or the artist themselves.” I said

“Well maybe we could help each other look. I mean we’re not competing against each other yet.” Santana said

I stopped by McKinley the next day I was sitting in Coach Sylvester’s office.

“Coach Sylvester will you please put me and Brittnay at the front of the next cheer performance.” Santana said running in

“No we are supposed to be there right Coach Sylvester.” Mercedes said

“Calm down will you. Also I have no say in what you guys will do.” I said sitting in Sues chair

“Why are you here?” Santana asked

“My monthly meeting with Sue.” I said

“What is she your therapist?” Kurt asked

“Yes, Yes, I am trust me I know more about her than you guys do.” Sue said

“Sue play nice they were just asking a question.” I said

“They put a video of me on the internet.” Sue said

“THEY did what? IF I found out that was ANY OF YOU THREE. YOU know what just know that when I found out who it is that I will have a serious talking with you and By that I Mean I will find a video of them and post it on the internet. unless the person who posted the video comes here by the end of the day and APOLOGIZES.” I said angrily

“Everyone except for Y/N get out now.” Sue yelled

“Anything else I should know.” I asked

“There’s a glee sex list circling around.” Sue said

“I leave for a couple months and those kids act like there’s no consequences.” I said

“How are you doing?” Sue asked

“Not good Sue, I have fallen head over hills in love with her and I’m scared the lay person who I felt like this about was the father of my child and he left me. What if she leaves me.” I said

“Are you kidding me I’m rooting for you and Santana.” Sue said

“Thanks sometimes I just don’t think that she feels the same. I feel like every second I’m not here at McKinley she fades further away from me.” I said

“Santana hi how long have you been standing there.” Sue asked I refused to look back

“Coach can I have a moment ?” Santana asked

“Sure.” Sue said

“Baby look at me. I do feel the same okay I agree that it hard to be apart I do but nothing gonna change my feelings for you and I was thinking that after regionals that maybe I could transfer.” Santana said

“No you’re not throwing away being a cheerio for me.” I said

“It isn’t for you. If I have a chance to be stuck here in Lima then I’d rather be out of here and if that means being at the same school as you then I would be happy to be there with you.” Santana said

“I didn’t want to be a burden to you but I’ve just been really worried about us lately.” I said

“There’s no more need to worry. Come on let’s go ditch school together in the library in the computer room.” Santana said

“No one uses the computer room.” I said

“You’re right it’s the perfect place to make out.” Santana said

“Hell yeah.” I said

We were sat in the computer room making out when we heard music. We went out of the computer room to see Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie and Brittnay dancing and singing can’t touch this.

You can't touch this You can't touch this You can't touch this You can't touch this

My, my, my, my (You can't touch this) Music hits me so hard Makes me say "Oh, my Lord Thank you for blessing me With a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet"

It feels good when you know you're down A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown And I'm known as such And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch

I told you, homeboy You can't touch this Yeah, that's how we livin', and ya know You can't touch this

Look in my eyes, man You can't touch this Yo, let me bust the funky Iyrics You can't touch this

Fresh new kicks and pants You got it like that Now you know you wanna dance So, move outta your seat And get a fly girl And catch this beat While it's rolling

Hold on Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on Like that, like that Cold on a mission, so fall on back Let 'em know that you're too much And this is a beat, uh, they can't touch

Yo, I told you You can't touch this Why you standing there, man? You can't touch this Yo, sound the bell, school's in, sucker You can't touch this

Give me a song or rhythm Making them sweat, that's what I'm giving them Now, they know You talk about the Hammer When you're talkin 'bout a show That's hyped and tight Singers are sweatin' So pass them a wipe or a tape To learn What it's gonna take in the 90's to burn The chart's legit Either work hard or you might as well quit

That's word, because, you know You can't touch this You can't touch this Break it down!

Stop, Hammer time!

"Go with the flow", it is said If you can't groove to this, then you probably are dead So, wave your hands in the air Bust a few moves Run your fingers through your hair

This is it, for a winner Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner Now move, slide your rump Just for a minute, let's all do the bump (Bump, bump, bump)

Yeah You can't touch this Look, man You can't touch this

You'll probably get hyped, boy, 'cause you know you can't You can't touch this Ring the bell, school's back in Break it down!

Stop, Hammer time!

You can't touch this You can't touch this You can't touch this Break it down!

Stop, Hammer time!

Every time you see me That Hammer's just so hype I'm dope on the floor And I'm magic on the mic

Now, why would I ever Stop doing this With others making records That just don't hit?

I toured around the world From London to The Bay It's "Hammer! Go, Hammer! MC Hammer! Yo, Hammer!" And the rest can go and play "U Can't Touch This"

You can't touch this You can't touch this Yeah You can't touch this

I told you You can't touch this Too hype, you can't touch this Yo, we're outta here You can't touch this

“That was very cute I’m gonna talk to my pastor and see if I can’t get you guys to perform that for our Sunday service.” The librarian said

“Just a Normal day at McKinley.” I said

“Let’s get back to what we were doing.” Santana said

“You know we could just go out to my car I can put window covers up that way we can make sure that no one sees us.” I said

“Hell yeah.” Santana said

We went out to my car I put up the sun protector in all the windows and we continued to make out.

I got called into Mr.Schue’s office.

“Admit it you made a list of people in glee to have sex with.” Schue said

“Can I see what you’re talking about.” I said

“Here.” He said showing the paper

“No, yes that’s definitely a list but it’s not my list. My list consists of four names

1. Santana

2. Quinn

3. Brittnay

4. Tina

Trust me if Tina’s not on the list and Brittnay’s in fourth and Santanas in second trust me I didn’t make this list. But I would totally post a revised one with the actual hot members of the glee club which wouldn’t have Puck in third but dead fucking last. Know if you ask anyone ask the top four. I also would have ranked them over who to have sex with.” I said leaving

“Hey Y/N one last thing Rachel wanted me to invite you to see her music video tomorrow during glee. If you can’t make it.” Schue said

“Yeah I’ll be there.” I said

The next day during glee I was sat next to Santana as it was the only open seat. Not that I was complaining. “Listen up another week as almost passed if a list goes up later today this issue is out of hands and it becomes principal Figgins jurisdiction.” Mr.Schue said

“Seriously Mr.Schue whoever made the list isn’t gonna come forward so will just bend over and take what’s coming.” Finn said

“That’s not true okay I lied it was me but it isn’t based off sexiest from my view it’s based off who the school finds the sexiest.” I said

“Why am I fourth?” Brittnay asked

“Because if I put three women first Schue would have definitely known it was me. I stand by what I said to Schue if it was from my point of view Santana, Then Quinn, Then Brittnay.” I said

“No tell us the entire way you would rank us?” Santana said

“You know what yeah if you actually made the list tell us unless you want us to think that you would fuck Puck.” Finn said

“Santana, Quinn, Brittnay, Tina, Mercedes, Rachel, Artie, Mike, Kurt, Finn, Matt, Hope, Puck.” I said

“You find your sister sexy.” Finn said

“No but I don’t want to kill her when I look at her. But I want to kill Puck when I look at him.” I said

”Okay well then let’s get to it Rachel how about you show us your bad reputation project.” Schue said

“I would like to say a few words first but I know that a motion picture should stand on its own. I do realize that some of you are not well versed in the complex vocabulary of the filmic arts. I expect that this video will go over the heads of some of our less cultured teammates. So let me just say I hope you enjoy my bad reputation.” Rachel said

“Why don’t we take a moment to absorb what we just watched.” Rachel said

“No this is garbage.” Finn said

“Finn.” Schue said

“No he’s right. first of all I need to trust my instincts more because I had a feeling when we were shooting that. That it was not gonna be good.” Puck said

“Why didn’t you tell me they were gonna be in this to. I thought that you and I were going out. Being triple cast with two other guys to play opposite your girlfriend it’s mortifying.” Jesse said

“It was an artistic statement.” Rachel said

“No it wasn’t it was you trying to look like you had a bunch of guys fighting over you so you can stop looking like some kind of outcast and be seen as some hot sluty girl singer.” Finn said getting up and going over to Rachel “How could you do this to me. To all us guys is your stupid reputation more important than your relationships.” Finn said leaving followed by Jesse

“Jesse wait.” Rachel said

“Rachel that was more embarrassing than Y/N ranking all of us.” Quinn said

“I agree I am some more embarrassed by second hand embarrassment than I was when that tape got leaked.” I said

After class Quinn hoped in my car.

“What are you doing?” I asked

“You didn’t post that sheet.” Quinn said

”Yes I did.” I said

“No you didn’t because I did.” Quinn said

“Why?” Quinn said

“My popularity has been taken away, my body has been taken away everything. So I put myself above everybody else.” Quinn said

“Well if it makes you feel better I will always see you as top of the food chain. Look I know that I don’t know what it’s like to be popular and lose it. But that list really hurt me so if you don’t mind letting me believe that I made the list and that’s why I’m not on it and that don’t view me as much of a loser as you view Kurt, Artie, Mercedes and Tina. Then I’ll be fine.” I said

“I don’t view you as a loser.” Quinn said

“Oh really well then why am I not on the list. Look I put you in second and I stand by that you are one of the sexiest people in that glee club.” I said

“Then why was Santana higher?” Quinn asked

“Because I am dating her. Oh shit I shouldn’t have said that.” I said

“Don’t worry your keeping me having a crush on Rachel a Secret I will keep you and Santana a secret although the whole glee club already knows.” Quinn said

“What how?” I asked

”You too can’t keep your hands off each other. The entire glee club meeting your hand was on her crotch.” Quinn said

“Well it still doesn’t explain why I wasn’t on the list.” I said

“Because Rachel’s not my number one girl crush anymore you are but I also knew that I put you high on the list Santana would be all up in my business you got a jealous one you know.” Quinn said

“Yes I’m aware I find it hot.” I said

“Okay well I’m gonna drive home, I’ll talk to you again soon.” Quinn said getting out of my car

“Bye.” I said

I drove off back towards Santanas house.

“So what do you see number one takes you for a spin.” Santana said as soon as I opened the door

“Damn your hot but I’m not feeling too good right now.” I said

“Okay then how about dinner and a make-out movie.” Santana said

”Sounds great.” I said

“You know I thought that Jesse was gay.” I said

“What makes you say that ?” Santana asked

“I don’t know a siren went off in my head the second I saw him. If he’s not gay he’s at least bisexual.” I said

“What am I ?” Santana asked

“You don’t know yet you’re not like me and Jesse when you’re a senior you will know what kind of people you love.” I said

[birdy-the-tweet]

Amusing Darkness

A Nexo Knights Rewrite deleted scene

/|______________________________________|\

“Ah… The power’s out.” The old man chuckled to himself at the humor obscured in the lack of artificial light. While the dozens of townsfolk screamed and raced for the nearest exits after the king’s unpleasant declaration of darkness, he and his accomplice stood idle in the crowd and budged little when mortal bodies shoved against their sides. Both wore matching cloaks to conceal their faces, find fabric dyed a rich emerald green and embroidered in sigils and runes of golden thread. He, a seven food colossus of a disguised human, made little effort to hide his hearty weight and rounded stomach. It made him look plentiful, he reckoned. Wealthy in necessities and grateful for his fortune as a king.

His partner, standing only a foot and a half lower than him, was more scrawny compared to his eye-catching stature and barely indulged in the fineries of their lives. Bitter green eyes surveyed the chaos around them, and her mouth contorted in a dissatisfying grimace. “Foolish. It’s like they don’t want to save themselves even if it’s a petty thing to fear.”

“‘Tis a fear of many mortal kind, my dewdrop,” the king hummed back as if the idea amused him. “When man grows comfortable in safety and solitude, the sheer thought of the dark can deter many’s hearts. But still, I get your point. The locals are practically tripping over themselves trying to leave. It’s quite a sunny day, and light is light even if its path is blinding.”

“I swear on Puck’s two left feet, if I have to endure one more body colliding into mine-“ A mother shoved her way past the lady with two children in her arms. Her frantic apologies were met on deaf ears as the princess silently felt her patience thin into fragile glass.

A hand on her shoulder kept her from unleashing karma onto the woman. “Temperance, Nimue. They do not know better than primal instinct. Let them calm their simple minds.”

The sigh she vented through clenched jaws could poison a dragon with the sharp chill of her temper. Delicate hands concealed by leather gloves adjusted the latch of her cloak and pulled her hood further over her skull. “Yes Father, as you wish...”

“Good. Now, shall we follow the crowd outside? See what they’re up to now?”

“…I suppose.“

The two turned away from the balcony of the Joustdome, away from the gathering of robotic slaves and clumsy knights struggling to adjust to the building’s darkness, away from the evil that would awaken in less than an hour. That wasn’t their problem. They came to watch the people, no more than that. A long week of exploring the wild lands of Knighton was more than enough reason to take a break from the adrenaline of a monster hunt and observe the local ant hill of mankind. His Majesty had the luxury of a child’s invitation into this precarious land and thought it best to entertain his daughter with the people’s infantile routines and materialistic desires. While he wasn’t surprised she found little enjoyment in their paranoid behavior, it drew a smile to his face to know she at least paid attention.

“If I may ask,” the Lady of the Lake uttered to his side. “Is this what you’ve intended to do with that squire you cursed?”

The king’s eyes furrowed like a thread tightening into the braids of a crochet pattern. “Hm? Elaborate.”

“To instill fear. To toy with the man’s simple mind. Is that what you seek to do with the squire?”

“Oh! Yes. Sort of, among other more important things. Fear is not something I wish to purposefully inflict on others, especially the mortals who can’t keep their bladders in because of a good jumpscare. But it is something necessary. It’s a driving force, the emotion of fear is. It can either make or break a mortal.

“And that’s what I intend,” he mused. Whether the purr of his throat was for melancholy or malice, only time would tell. As far as his daughter knew, it could’ve easily been both. “To see if this squire will push through and stay true to his word or crumble under the horror of it all. Simple really.”

[inspectorspinda]

what are YOUR five top favs in the sisters Grimm series? OR, what are your faves in each book? (Like which character you think shines the most in each title in the series)

For Overall:

Mr. Canis: I think you'd understand why. He's full of angst. The good stuff. Though to be honest, as a kid and even as an adult I was super disappointed when he was cured of the wolf. And MB's writing for him afterwards didn't really help convince me otherwise. Tobias Clay is just not as interesting of a character. I mean he had small moments, but with everything else going on it felt like MB lost a bit of interest in him as well. Still for 6 books he was the best thing.

Sabrina: Really solid main character. I really related to her as a kid and she's one of the rare kid protagonist that's even better as an adult. I even made an OC to be her big sister/mom figure because she needs that support. So many times the books have been unfair to her when her point of view is correct or at least very understandable. She deserves much better.

Charming: He, Sabrina and Canis are probably the trio in this series with really significant character development and growth. With Charming it is probably the most apparent out of them all. As an adult, he is also the character type I love the most. The ego-manic who learns to be a bit more humble even though he had a heart of gold all along. Rare opinion though, I wish he kept some of his book 1 ego until the end. That kind of stuff doesn't just go away and you can be a better person while keeping some of your quirks. Still I think MB did a great job with him.

Mirror: I did not see the twist coming at all as a kid. He's a bastard, but amazing. His death made me cry even though it was kind of lame in some respects. His feelings were valid even though the books didn't follow up with his schemes in the best ways, he's still great, unique and interest as a villain. I wonder how Mayor Heart and the rest would have felt though to know their "Master" was a "lame mirror".

Bunny: She's hawt. It is rare that a female character gets the same status and vibe of a tumblr sexyman, but that is her for me. She's perfect. I love her lots. I wish this series as an animated show just so I could see her and hear her talk cool and be all mysterious. We love a queen.

I don't think too many of the one off character stand out enough for me to really call them my favorites. Sure there are a lot of funny scenes and quirky Everafters, but without backstory/development, I don't care for them that much in the wider picture. A handful I really like are maybe: Hamstead, Scrooge, The Wizard of Oz, Puck's brother (the one that became king), the Editor and Baba Yaga.

Book 4 had a lot of really good characters.

Hot take though. Ms. White was kinda lame. Maybe it just because her knowing martial arts is too expected from Shrek and all the Disney hate. But okay what does her going to self defense actually have to do with her backstory? Nothing. She ate some poison because she didn't know about stranger danger. The Queen didn't attack her physically so her knowing martial arts ain't gonna help with shit. I would like to see a version of Snow White that works with CPS or the FDA.

[celinamarniss]

Still frantically trying to get chapter two done by next week so here, have the next excerpt from We Can't Keep Meeting Like This.

Previous parts of the chapter here and here.

The main entrance to the lounge slid open to reveal the two men Brax had sent to find Trask, propping up a third man between them. Din recognized Trask from his holo, though the man’s face was twisted into a mask of fear. 

“That was quick,” Brax called. 

“Found him on level two,” one of his men said. “The usual place.” 

Trask’s eyes darted from side to side, the look of someone who knew his number was up but was still trying to find a way out. Din knew the expression too well. 

He started pleading as Brax’s thugs manhandled him through the doorway. “It’s a setup—I swear! I’d never cross you, Brax, you gotta believe me. This is a setup!”  

“Petyr, Petyr,” Brax scolded. “You think anyone would believe you now?” 

“It’s a set-up!” Trask insisted in a frantic squeal. His eyes lit on Mara as he was drug, none too gently, toward Brax. “I knew it was a fix—I told you, Brax! She’s behind it! Don’t you know who she is?! She’s one of Talon Karrde’s people! She’s his Second!” 

Brax turned to follow Trask’s pointed finger, his brow creasing as he spotted Mara. “Arica?” 

“It’s her—the Jade woman! She’s the one behind this! I didn’t do anything. It’s her!” 

Din hoped that Brax would dismiss Trask’s accusation as the last ditch attempt to shift blame that it was, but Brax held up a hand and rose to his feet. Several guests shifted away from Mara, clearing a path from her to Brax. Even her tattooed friend took a step back. 

Din felt himself tensing as Brax approached Mara. Extremely dangerous, the puck had said, do not engage. 

“Huh,” Brax said. “I never noticed before. But you do look like her.” 

“An unfortunate resemblance, I assure you,” Mara said, her voice clipped. 

Brax shook his head slowly. “I know Trask’s a liar—that’s why I hung him out to dry. But that doesn’t mean he’s wrong about you.” 

She moved so quickly that no one had time to react. One of the long diamond pins from her hair was in her hand and pressed up against Brax’s throat in a matter of seconds. 

“No one move,” Mara’s voice rang out. “The end of this needle is coated in Cyanoxis poison. It’s a very painful and very messy death.” 

The crowd was too stupid to obey completely. There were shocked cries, the sound of a glass shattering on the floor, and people scurrying out of range. Others stood where they were, craning their necks to watch what would happen next. Brax’s men reached for their weapons but no one drew on her. Din quietly shifted his blaster out of his holster. 

Where had Luke gone? He’d melted into the crowd somehow, leaving Mara alone to face off with Brax’s bodyguards. She stepped back so that Brax’s body half-shielded her from the room, her arm wrapped around his shoulder so that the hairpin still rested at his throat. 

“I’m going to give you a choice,” she told Brax. “You can shut down all of your clubs, give up every stake you have in and walk away, or…” 

She leaned in close and murmured in his ear, her voice dropping to a whisper so that whatever threat she was detailing, it reached Brax’s ears alone. All of the color drained out of his face. 

“Alright,” he croaked. “Alright. Whatever you want—” 

[angelhummel]

Sort of a weird and random question but what do you think the glee characters’ weapon of choice would be

Oooohohohohoho that's a fun one. I actually made a Clue au post a while back where all my faves had a weapon assigned to them. So definitely check that out for one answer. But those are better for a quick surprise kill. So if we're talking about fighting...

Obviously we know what Kurt's is already

I still want Tina to have an axe bc

Plus she just deserves to chop into some bitches idc. Let her spill a little blood. As a treat?

I want Brittany to have one of those spiky balls on a chain like the girl in Kill Bill. The way Brittany twirls around and throws food during the food fight? Exactly that but with a flail

Puck canonically participates in knife fights/owns knives BUT also has nunchucks so... He can go ham with either of those his knife in s3 was fake but we see him with a real knife in s1 and s5 so

Hm maybe Santana should still have a dagger. You don't even know she has beef with you until it's too late. Sidles up to you all sweet just to poke a lil artery in your neck and watch you bleed out. She was also voted most like to poison someone (love that that was a category you could vote on at their school) but no I think that'd be TOO subtle for her. She'd want to spill blood and would want you to know she's the one that did you in

For Mercedes I would sayyy sword?? Like she's all "haha I'm not good at 1v1 combat I'm not moving park and bark etc" but she gets a sword in her hand and she's swinging it like you wouldn't believe. Plus it's dramatic and classic. Love it

Finn's are brass knuckles bc he's a punk bitch that's gonna jump you instead of giving you a fair fight

Mike.... I would like him to have a bow and arrow. He's super stealthy about it, you never hear him coming bc he's way over there. Could also see Quinn with the bow and arrow but she's also just as likely to yank the arrow out of you and stab you with it until it breaks/she knows you're dead

Kitten Kitty with a whip. Also semi canon bc her supersona had one. Plus it's dramatic and unexpected and she could fuck a bitch right up with it

Sam... I would like to see him launching a spear at someone. He's got the arms for it

Unique should have a Japanese war fan. Kind of a defensive weapon but very very dramatic

Blaine would have a rapier bc we know he's into fencing and that kind of fits the bill. Plus he would be all "we must have an honorable duel about this" but of course he also ends up going ham by the end of the fight. He also deserves it <3

I think Artie should have a harpoon gun. No reason, I just think he deserves it

I'll give Jake a war hammer. I think he'll have fun with it. Bonking people left and right as he rides through the battle on his noble steed (razor scooter)

Marley would use poison and feel really bad about it :( But she wouldn't want to get her hands dirty

Really want Rachel to have a flamethrower. No subtly, just melting your face off. She'd be so cute with it uwu she deserves to have some fun!

[novemberdevils]

We are back to our daily puck drop and intermission thoughts while waiting for ch4 to drop, so im writing this on two different days because I fell asleep during the second period-2AM puck drop is Brutal- so enjoy my different day commentary, I written this on three different days as this is probably the most cursed comment because I somehow managed to give myself food poisoning and then spent two days in the hospital because I couldn’t eat or drink without vominting but hey now im better and with a ch4 as a gift.

“I think you and Hischier have both lost your minds.” Quinn with the quote of the year because they both actually have lost it, I feel like jack feeling that it’s bigger than him and about him so true and he shouldn’t have to explain it because come on since when do emotions make sense?, “Put you in a good place,” if I was jack I wouldve smacked quinn because me and them are the same and putting them in a good place would lead to putting me under a good place- I know he doesn’t mean it like this but it irked me-, oh shit quinn retiring without telling jack hurts like yeah sure he doesn’t HAVE to tell him but it does feel like a betrayal, but knowing that my brother retired from him he knew about the news from the media; it feels in a way diminished jack to being the same as everyone else-I know that it doesn’t work like that but that’s your sibling so it must be different for him-, it feels weird reading that quinn decided to take the “easy” way by retiring than being dropped and in this season a million driver has been dropped like there is some funny side to quinn retiring 😂, I feel like quinn sees himself in jack that’s why he would tell him to not do the stuff he did; let people dedicate what he does and to not be so consumed by media he wants to protect his little brother from experiencing the same fate he got.

JACK VISTED NICO!! But this is getting repetitive but my god is nico hot; I feel like im betraying my Ferrari feelings by falling for nico but how can I not??, I need you to tell me about what nico thinks when he sends jack his room number knowing that he would inevitably come does he enjoy it?, nico really?? Like you have jack who came to your room to have sex and you decide to talk about his brother?? I wouldve walked out it wouldn’t have mattered if it was nico or someone else it’s such a turn off, nico is hot my goddess stop his hotness, jack thinking about how he wants to have his marks on nico as a revenge but I feel like nico would wear them with pride and would go without covering them, “But I know you miss it just as much.” BAD NICO BAD, they were so close to talking about what they’re doing but unfortunately they are cowards who want to fuck and not talk, also I need jack to stop being to unreliable because nico cannot be as cruel as jack thinks, jack knows why he is doing this but doesn’t want to think deeply because it would be too much for him to deal with is so on brand, “You’re so cute, Jack,” Nico says, stuck in the strange limbo between cruel and earnest that only Nico Hischier could create. “If you wanted to stop, then you’d stop showing up at my door.” Nico stop being hot challenge has FAILED like saying he can stop it any time he wants but also knowing that he will never do it is insane, omg those two need to talk about their Scenes like it’s borderline stupid to not be talking, but anyways nico clocking that jack likes go be called a good boy who is surprised? Not me that’s for sure, at this point nico would gift jack a collar without even talking about anything like boys come on, and the way jack feels like when he is with  nico the world slows down for a bit to let him take a mich needed breath like INASNE, also comparing nico to racing?? Nico has jack right where he wants him,  “Fuck, Jack, could you breathe?” Boys I have been YELLING for you to talk because of this exact scenario; but maybe this would make jack thinks about buying that damned heavy blanket, “You’re insane,” nico really? Like apart from the fact that you are doing whatever the fuck you are doing; you tace in cars that reach 350km/h for fun you HAVE to be insane to do it, nico liking jack more when he is plaint fork found in the kitchen etc etc, the Scene make me want to scream like it’s so well written im obsessed, “Pillow princess,” NICO!! Also come on you can’t be surprised that he is a pillow princess, and it takes Jack a second to realize it’s the hand that’s been covered in his fucking come. fucking insane behaviour from both oh my fucking god, nico feeling like jack is going to kill him because imagine someone you have been hooking up and you think that he is so gorgeous then he does this his tongue darts out of his mouth to catch some of the stray come around his lips. Btw this was the supposed puck drop and intermission but I have fallen asleep.

While reading the quali session I feel so nervous that I feel like throwing up but I have no idea if it’s because the poisoning is still there or because of the nervousness, ALSO FERRARI 1-2!! Yayyy, how are those two somehow are managing to not give themselves away? Like they try really hard to mention each other in their interviews and saying this stuff to interviewers “Nico’s starting in ninth?”, “Just don’t run me off the track at the start, man.” I’m tired I WILL cry when I read the dnf, omg I forgot about the tkachuk and grosjean I laughed and hurt my stomach my god indy is Something else like the way that there is at least four incidents that I could think of where two drivers have fought together is insane, trevor POLE!! Making me happy over a McLaren driver is sock behaviour, honestly still too tired but I feel like the matthew and grosjean fight happened irl but I can’t remember who was involved, oh no I have started the race and the dnf in near I don’t want to continue tears are already gathering in my eyes, “Still on Plan A?” I have trauma I flinched reading this,NOOOOOO I HAVE REACHED IT 💔💔 I was thinking that maybe it was a prank and that you changed but no it’s the reality, ARE THEY BOTH ALRIGHT? (PAUSE) I CAN SEE SAINZ OUT OF HIS CAR, BUT JACK ISN’T. IS HE OKAY? Insane behaviour as usual from both, reading jack’s in the media pen made me remember how much I hate when a driver crashes but he is expected to give an interview and be good in that interview, uh idk if it was on the radio or not but i’m at the corner where jack crashed and it sounded like he was screaming 22 France is something I will never forget watching it live and hearing that scream is haunting me even now, oh my fucking god jase is making me so MAD like I will end up somehow involving myself in the fic just so I can fight her, [RUSSELL]: CRIKEY. Please stop making me laugh it hurts 😂 I love russell’s Britishess it always sounds unreal.

People who rewatch crashes are insane like how can you rewatch someone’s crash even when you know everyone who was involved is okay, it’s fate or nico being a stalker that they ended up in the same club, but my god I know it’s America and f1 isn’t as famous but really boys touching each other like this in PUBLIC??, “Hope you and your boyfriend have a good night.” OH MY GOD even this stranger thinks that they are boyfriends, jack assuming the worst who is surprised because it definitely not me, “Why not someone from Ferrari? Sainz, maybe?” Nico even me who has Ferrari winning the wcc and wdc is not this delusional to think even if they won they would go out together, taking an uber together insane behaviour-it’s getting repetitive like how much more insane behaviour they will do?-, jack egocentric strikes again like love him will die for him and I know he will win it all but he is so egocentric it’s funny sometimes, THOSE TWO WTF??? Nico dragging jack to his room because he isnt done with talking like????, “I can’t let you go to bed angry.” Nico I have questions how in love are you and do you realise that you are in love or are you doing the jack way in burying every emotion?, take a shot every time jack says fuck you and you will have alcohol poisoning at the end, those two need to talk before they have sex again because it’s borderline safe word necessary, I want to be good for something. I want someone to say I’m not just a failure who threw everything away. I want someone to say I’m more than all of that. I want you to say I’m more than all of that. I want to forget about what happened on the circuit and leave this city forever. I want to not think. I want to never think again. I want— I want— oh jack my love💔 his inner thoughts always hurt me because they are always stuff that everyone deserves to have, jack I don’t know how to tell you this but nico thinking you are pathetic is impossible, and we are back again with my nico is hot thoughts; a Ferrari driver and a Ferrari fan falling for a Redbull driver more likely to happen than you think, their Scenes are so good like wow if you heard me talking to my friends you would lose you mind but I fear that both of us are going to be banned if I let my thoughts, “Stop being fucking gentle with me!” As usual insane behaviour from both, jack feeling jealous about the pretty boy in nico’s bee when nico meant him is so funny to me, “You know what you’re doing.” No he has no fucking clue about what is he doing nico I hate to break it to you, Behind him, Nico laughs. It’s awful and cruel. Jack stop being so unreliable because I know that he didn’t laugh cruelly, oh my god jack what the fuck??? Like the condom probably was the only sane thing you have done and now you decided to fucking throw it away?, “Underneath me. Always underneath me, even here.” NICO???? The headache is from me being sick or from those two I have no clue.

We have finally finished the chapter even when the world was trying to stop me but we have imola next my favourite like one chapter that is only imola I love that for me.

hello anon i hope you're feeling better!! you said you were better here and now this ask is a couple days old lol so i hope you are feeling Even better. i banned myself from answering these until i finished my finals and i turned my list one in today #yippee so now i can do whatever i want with my spare time for the rest of the year. wonderful times

quinn is so real. jack and nico have both lost their minds. and yeah i will be totally honest about the interview scene where jack contradicts himself i didn't realize he had blatantly contradicted himself until after i finished writing it? but all of it was real so i left it in. he's allowed to contradict himself. as he said himself, nothing that he said was untrue!

the quinn-jack relationship is a wee bit complicated i guess? i could go on about it for maybe ever. i will very briefly. quinn is all aboard the Jack Can You Please Have Some Self-Confidence train due in part to the fact that yes he does see himself in jack, and he doesn't want jack to end up in the same place as he did. aka retiring but fake-retiring but also retire-quitting but also getting backed into a corner it is a very complicated narrative that keeps unraveling itself without my permission i don't know -- i mentioned it in ch4 that quinn also used to do the whole searching his own name thing after races when he was still in NASCAR even though he knew people were saying mean things about him, so he hates that jack does it because he knows what it feels like to be there. and it sucks. and he wishes jack would Not do that and would just like. Not Care. but alas. maybe it's genetic

nico is hot and you should say it. even if jack Will Not. i've implied that he thinks so like twice or something but he always cuts himself off before the thought properly manifests

heehhehehe. hehe. he. on nico sending jack his room number. it is a bit complicated! and this is actually what i was rambling to myself about while i was htmling ch4 -- it helps me to speak it into the universe sometimes, then i end up drawing a bunch of crazy conclusions lol -- and most of it will remain Secret for now. i intend to have nico tell jack what he was thinking at some point in the fic (i haven't decided exactly when yet, but at some point) so i don't want to spoil the truth. and there is a scene i've written for monaco that pokes the idea very gently with a stick only to let it stay asleep

also nico is stupid. next question

no talking for these idiots... only doing sex and ignoring everything that surrounds it... very complicated times... in my html self-yap session i did manage to pinpoint a more exact motivation for nico which will also remain a secret i'm just being mean and alluding to thoughts in my brain because i'm Evil but i don't know. if he was the narrator character he would probably also be unreliable. even if he thinks he knows what he wants. i don't think jack thinks he knows what he wants because he's too busy pretending he doesn't want anything at all. they are both my wonderful idiots and i care them

nico is not as cruel as jack thinks he is. though. i will give you that

they're both insane. have i already posted the scene where jack essentially says the same thing? about how they all have to be insane to drive race cars? i think he was talking to quinn. who knows. i've reached the point with this fic where you could bring up a scene from an earlier chapter to me and i would have No idea what you're on about because i've written too much nonsense since then. and i've written a bunch of other scenes in my head. which makes it all very confusing. but hey i did that to myself

NICO'S STARTING IN NINTH? totally not a reference to the miami grand prix of whatever the fuck. 23? sure. the one where mr max verstappen ran it to first from ninth. nico did not run it to first but i totally stole that entire qualifying incident just for fun. and then i crashed jack's entire car. oops!

indy my beloved that type of stuff definitely happens a lot over there but i was thinking of an incident that was i think will power and scott dixon? from 2023 also iirc. i don't remember what track it was at but dixon wiped power off the circuit and he gave him the double bird. also that season (icr if it was the same race) somebody (maybe also will power?) straight up told the media they were going to punch grosjean or something which is objectively hilarious. i love indycar. so of course i had to include some good old-fashioned indycar fights, and trevor is The Window into the indycar world as far as being in jack's pov is concerned. but the entire indycar subplot is a massive exercise in self-indulgence. like this entire fic isn't just that anyways...

yeah more blatant references i remember watching that race lmao RIP to the french grand prix 💔 what a way to go out

i love making george say british things. crikey! blimey! he's a cartoon character sorry

it's fate. probably. in my head nico was there first. and he was out with some red bull guys (in my head it's like mechanic guys nico is friendly with), and then he just kind of up and disappeared. i like to imagine they were all very confused (even though nico said they wouldn't notice/care) and they all bugged him about it afterwards. and nico was like. haha. yeah. i felt. sick? but they all think he picked up because his face is like bright red. more nonsense scenes that only exist in my head

i could not resist the Stranger Boyfriend Clock. a wonderous trope. it's what they get for being STUPID! i did make jack say fuck you a lot. he was in a mood. that is a drinking game that will surely end in alcohol poisoning though. this scene is one of the ones that i spent a stupid amount of time fiddling around with in my head before i started writing it, and the fuck youisms were around since the first iteration. in all their redundancy, i could not part with them... and i know all the shit they're doing is some in real life would require a conversation type shit but i am just fucking around. maybe i need to make a note in the fic notes or something idk fanfiction is fanfiction is fanfiction they are for sure being unsafe but also narrative-wise i think jack would lose his shit if nico tried to have a real conversation about it with him. would kind of throw a wrench in his whole This Isn't Happening schtick. uhhh i think it's imola but some of nico's dialogue implies that he thinks they should talk about it but he never Really tries to start the conversation (for reasons that spoil his Super Secret motivations) but he has resigned to attempting to read jack's body language since he tried to be nice about it in miami and jack like lost his shit about it. moral of the story is they are both Dumb and Do Not be them unsafe sex up the wazoo. bro threw a whole entire condom ON THE FLOOR! which was in fact crazy work but now that i have dug that grave i must lie in it

ANYWAYS. great tangent. hope you enjoyed. what a time to be alive i hope you enjoy/ed imola the craziness only continues to get crazier

[h8fuckk]

@bloodtwin sent: how do you know all my weaknesses...?

The campfire flickers nearby, casting ominous shadows over her pale, blood-slicked form. Her wings, still damp with the remnants of gnoll blood, gleam under the dim light, the veins in them pulsing faintly. Her black dress clings to her body, soaked through with gore and sweat from the recent battle. The scent of iron, musk, and decay lingers in the air, mixing with the intoxicating fragrance she now releases—rose, musk, patchouli—a heady concoction designed to weaken her brute of a companion’s already tenuous restraint.

She circles Puck slowly, her bare feet soundless on the earth beneath. The fire crackles in the silence between them, but even that feels distant, muffled by the thick, electric tension that lingers like smoke. His question hangs in the air, and she lets it simmer, savoring the power it gives her. A dark chuckle escapes her lips, curling around them like the sweetest poison. Weaknesses. The word alone is enough to stir something primal within her——something that longs to exploit, to dominate, to consume. She pauses directly in front of him, her glowing eyes gliding over his form with slow, deliberate intent.

❛ I wish I could say that I’m just that good, but—❜ she murmurs, voice low, rich like velvet draped in darkness. She raises her hand, her claws still glistening red, and places it on his chest, right over the beating heart she knows craves something far more dangerous than what the battlefield has already offered. Her fingers splay across his blood-stained skin, the contact deceptively gentle, yet the sharp edges of her claws graze just enough to remind him of what she could do.

❛ Your kind, ❜ she continues, her voice soft but laced with amusement, ❛ all tend to have the same weaknesses. ❜ She could say it—spell it out for him. Men. Mortals. Creatures led by desires they barely understand, much less control. But she lets the thought dangle unspoken, hanging like a blade poised to drop. A smirk curls at her lips, and she tilts her head, studying him like prey caught in her web. ❛ But yours, ❜ she says, her voice dropping into something darker, more intimate, ❛ are… different. ❜ Her eyes flash, catching the firelight as her face moves closer to his. ❛ Hungrier. More volatile. ❜

The air between them thickens as she leans in, her scent enveloping him, seeping into the very space they share. She lets the silence stretch, lets her proximity weigh heavy on him before she continues, her lips just inches from his. Her breath is warm, caressing his skin as she whispers. ❛ When you have a nose like mine, you can sniff out the slightest changes in the atmosphere. ❜ She pauses. Her claws press a little harder, but not enough to draw blood——just enough to keep him on edge. ❛ When you’re around, I can always smell it——that desire, that lust. ❜

Her eyes burn into his, half-lidded with a promise she has no intention of keeping. ❛ But it shifts,” she says, drawing the words out like silk through her teeth, ❛ into something darker. Something more feral… when there’s death, blood, and gore. ❜ She trails her hand up his chest, slow, deliberate, letting her claws drag lightly over his skin, teasing him with the threat they represent. They hover just beneath his neck now, her touch delicate yet menacing.

❛ I can also smell how badly you want to have your way with me. ❜ Her voice lowers further, the seductive edge sharper, more dangerous. ❛ Especially like this——slick with blood and gore. ❜ The words hang heavy between them, charged with more than just lust. It’s a hunger that mirrors her own, and she knows it. She feels it. She needs him to give into his desire, so that she might feed her own.

❛ My only question is…❜ she murmurs, her voice a sultry challenge, ❛ what’s stopping you? ❜ Her glowing eyes lock onto his, the smirk on her lips widening. She can see the conflict in him——she can almost taste it. And gods, she wants to taste it. Every fiber of her being aches for that first intoxicating sip of his life, just enough to dull the gnawing hunger that’s been eating away at her insides for weeks now.

❛ I think I’ve made it clear, ❜ she continues, her voice a seductive whisper, ❛ I have no intentions of killing you. ❜ Not yet. Her smirk sharpens at the thought. ❛ I need you. ❜ The intensity in her gaze deepens, a flicker of desperation behind her glowing eyes that she knows he can’t quite place. She leans in even closer, her lips brushing against the shell of his ear as she whispers, ❛ You’re going to let a small matter of fiendish biology keep you from taking what you want? ❜

Her voice is silk and venom, daring him, tempting him. She pulls back just enough to meet his eyes again, her lips still dangerously close to his. Her body is taut with need, with the unbearable weight of the hunger clawing at her from the inside. It takes everything in her not to simply tear into him and devour what she craves, to strip him bare and take everything. But she needs him to take the bait. Just a taste. Just a piece of his delicious soul, enough to dull the razor-sharp edge of her addiction. She can feel her control slipping, can feel the hunger gnawing at her, but she holds herself steady, waiting for him to make the next move.

[xratedpuppettheatreofthedead]

piece i wrote a week or two ago about how i feel now that i'm out of a very unhealthy relationship.

I broke my teeth biting through the padlock to the cage you kept me in. Pyogenic sores throb and weep along the slender pallor of my throat from the prongs around my throat. I ran until my lungs burned and my vision tunneled and frothy saliva tasting of exertion and acidic blood pooled at the corners of my mouth. I ran until my legs gave out beneath me and the hot asphalt rips a layer of flesh off my cheek. 

Scars I could live with - scars I could look at and remind myself that you were gone. No fresh wounds, the sickly greenish-purple sores slowly fading to a sallow and gradient tone. I stand on shaky legs and look up at the sky. The sun burns my eyes and I almost laugh. The blinding light and the vibrant blue of the sky are enough to stun me into silence - a contrast, from the harsh and dim grays and browns of your basement. 

I lick my wounds and I lie in the grass and even inconveniences around me feel like a blessing because they remind me that I am alive. I have life to live and freedom to experience. The sun on my face, the ache in my ribcage from laughing, the sour sting of tears in my eyes and the clog of my sinuses. I can live. I am alive.

Your silhouette poisons my dreams and my consciousness. Around the corner I feel eyes on my body and when I turn to look I see nothing but I can smell the mildew of your basement and the dirty iron of chains. I absently press my bitten fingertips to one of the sores on my throat. Coarse scar tissue tickles my fingertip and tender pain radiates from the puckered sore. I’m not out of the woods yet.

From bait to equal; from punching bag to beloved. I learn to see myself as someone instead of something. I forget your leering gaze, I forget the feeling of shackles chafing my limbs with you buried up to your elbows in my cracked-open skull. I forget the feeling of raw, painful, deep pressure with your dirtied nails picking away the webbing of my cortex. I forget the taste of blood and cerebrospinal fluid dripping down my face. I forget what it's like to be kept stupid and lobotomized for another. The fog lifts.

Yet I see my face plastered on posters. Grainy and miserable and barely recognizable. I’ve grown to look at him like a cadaver that I carry on my back; this body is a hearse and I carry he who you killed with me in hopes that one day the decomposition will reverse. My fingertips graze over the poster and I rip it with force. The nail catches my palm and blood gushes from the jagged tear.

I stare at the poster. I look at my split hand. I spit on the wound and shove the bloodied poster into my pocket, praying for it to go septic before I have to face you again.

Your voice rings around me but never to me. I hear my name in hushed whispers, spoken like a dirty word and a pejorative, spoken about like a beaten animal that none could hope to rehabilitate. 

(I curl in her lap and I am terrified but I will myself to stop trembling. I try to focus on the feeling of fingers on my disheveled mane of hair. I try to focus on the subtle sound of her heartbeat. It’s not working. I steal a glance. Her eyes lock on mine and a familiar smile reminds me to keep my arteries intact.)

(A friend’s hand touches my shoulder blade and the look of guilt and pity in his eyes when I shrink away reminds me that scars can fade but at the end of the day scar tissue is still scar tissue. I force a smile that looks more like a beaten animal showing submission.)

(I wake up expecting to feel cold cement under my body. I wake up and my body shakes and I taste bile. No one is safe when they sleep. No one is in control when they sleep.)

The man in the mirror is not me. I pull the crumpled poster from my pocket. I stare at the forlorn face in the picture. It’s me, isn’t it? It’s [Valentine], right? I look back at the mirror. Eyes sunken in and flesh pallid and all manner of marks along my body. The raw pinkish-silver puckers around my throat are a permanent reminder of you. Is this me? Is this [Valentine]? Unsatisfied, I turn my back to the mirror and half expect the husk I saw to continue staring at me. A glance over my shoulder proves me wrong. Perhaps I’m just tired.

I don’t think I’m a bad person. I don’t think I’m a good person, but I don’t think I’m unsafe. I don’t think I belong in your cage. Where do I belong? Could I handle that answer? 

(Her collar for me is lined. The inside is soft and smooth and at first I feel her hands around my shoulders tightening the buckle and I can’t breathe because all I smell is iron and mold and my own sour bile, but I inhale again and it fades with the scent of her cologne. I’m safe. The spines are on the outside this time. I shift in my seat and the cheerful jingle of a bell rings from around my throat. Here, I am loved. Here, I am wanted. I’d break all my teeth again fighting to stay here.)

I curl in a disheveled pile of blankets and fabric in the corner of my dim living space. My eyes are dry and sting and every blink makes them weep but to rest is to give control. Posters everywhere of my face, of my name, a dangerous thing to be disposed of, full of maggots on the inside, wearing the pulled-taut skin of a living thing while rot festers beneath, but I haven’t coughed ichor since I clawed myself from your homemade prison and I start to wonder who to trust. 

I don’t believe I belong in your cage. I’ve learned how to walk. I shattered my own bones to force them to grow back into place. I’ve burned the infection from my own wounds and cut away my own dead skin. The collar around my neck doesn’t draw blood. I look in the mirror again at the scars around my throat. 

I’ve grown to realize what you want wrapped around my throat; your prong collar or a hangman’s noose.

[anothergleekgirl]

STORM by: anothergleekgirl

[FINCHEL-Canon to S3 graduation, minus lost boy Finn & no train station - instead, they DO get married right after grad.]

Summary: Fifteen years, two successful careers, and one broken relationship. They tried, really they did – until they didn't. When Rachel makes a terrible mistake she has to pay the price; the cost? Finn. Are there some things you can't come back from, or will their tether holdfast, be the anchor that weathers the storm?

STATUS: **COMPLETE**

Glee - Rated: M - English Genre/Tags: Angst/Hurt/Comfort; Drama; Romance; Teen marriage; Fame; Infidelity Chapters: 4 Words: 26,936 Published Aug 7, 2024 CAST: FINN, RACHEL, KURT, SANTANA, PUCK

[excerpt - ACT II]

Two years passed. His band was on their first co-headlining US tour with Fallout Boy and she’d landed her first leading Broadway role. Maureen in Rent was always on her bucket list, and she nailed it night after night, seven shows per week. After a few months, she gave up an occasional Sunday performance to her understudy so she could fly to wherever Finn was performing that weekend. They made love on his tour bus and in his hotel room and drunk-fucked a couple of times in nightclub bathrooms.

. . . . .

“I want us to start a family, baby. You think you’ll be ready soon?”

“I do too, Finn, someday... but you know, I’ve just landed my first big role. There’s a chance for my first Tony if all goes well, and if it happens, I’m positive there’s going to be more shows lined up waiting for me. I... babe, you know I want this too, so much, with you... but this isn’t the right time. I’m just getting started.”

“I know.... I know... fuck. I just wish I didn’t have to be on the road so much.”

“Finn, baby, I miss you when you’re gone, more than you know, but we knew this was gonna be hard. And you’re living your dream too. I won’t take that away from you. I want this for you, and I know you want it too. I’m so proud of you. We’ll find the right time, soon.”

“Promise?” 

“Yeah.. just, right now isn’t it. We have plenty of time. We’re not even 25 yet.”

-------------------

[excerpt Act III]

"... You were MY home and you wrecked it. I never thought you’d do it to me again. I didn’t... you swore you wouldn’t, but you fucking lied... Again. You shoulda never come back to me. Guess you were still pretending after all.” 

“Finn, please listen, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry baby, it’s not what you think, it wasn’t y–” ...

... He ended the call by dropping his phone in the toilet and flushing it. “Down down down you go... Just like the last fifteen fucking years... bye bye bye, Rachel fucking Berry. Poisonous bitch.”

. . . . .

“Hi there. Name’s Puckerman. Someone called me to discreetly handle the little, uh, ‘problem’ you have hiding somewhere in this fine establishment. You wanna point me in the right direction?”

“Mr Puckerman, oh yes! Thank goodness! I do hope you can resolve this matter quickly and quietly. I’m such a fan of Mr Hudson’s. Thankfully my manager is out sick this evening which means I’m in charge; otherwise, I can assure the authorities would have been called by now. He seemed so sad three days ago, so I know there must be something terribly wrong with him. I just didn’t want to see things made worse by an incident like this splashed across tabloid headlines.”

“Well if he were in his right mind, I’m sure he’d be thanking you for your understanding.”

“Oh, it’s my pleasure. Mr Hudson has been our guest many times before and he’s always been so kind and courteous, and well, I just hope you can help him. Quietly. But he does need to leave today. We’ve had too many complaints from other guests on that floor.”

“Yeah. We stayed here for our National Show Choir competition back in high school. He’s kind of attached to this place. So lemme guess, he’s sloshed, shit-faced, and totally out of his fucking mind. Is that about the size of it?”

“Umm... Yes sir, I would assume so.”

READ THE FULL STORY ON AO3 & FFN