#( private verse — with friends like these who needs enemies )

[poisonpicked]

@ghostofaformerself said: what are you insinuating ? ( @ finn in scream au ) 

“i think you know.” finn didn’t really want to be having this discussion right now, but he was scared. not just for himself, but for rayne and victoria as well. he had every reason to suspect that wren had something to do with whatever’s going here, all the deaths that seemed to follow their friend group. it made sense, after all; things were fine until he moved here, introduced to the group and very quickly woven into the seams of the dynamic. he was conveniently never around when anything happened, though he claimed the recent bruise on his face was from being attacked by the killer — but why did they not kill him like they had done with sean? why was he allowed to live when sean wasn’t? 

“look, i don’t want to believe it either, but we need to watch our backs, okay?”

[monimccoythings]

Random headcanons of Alastor and his child!reader

This will mix headcanons from both the living and the afterliving times.

Tw: Controlling behavior, implied cannibalism, references to murder.

This is not proof read so I apologize for any grammar and vocabulary mistakes.

Your home is always filled with music. Be it the radio, a record player or him singing. There's always someone playing a tune. Even now at the hotel you can always find him in one of the common rooms humming a song or with his cathedral radio on.

Loves dancing with you, you'll be helping him cook and next thing you know he is swirling you around the room, music mixing with your combined laughter.

From a very young age, he will teach you to love the radio. He is immensely proud of his job (the legal one) and wants to share it with you.

Likes to treat your wounds and illness the traditional way, just like he used to when you were alive. You got a scratch? He is cleaning it for you and bandaging it up. You are down with something? He'll wrap you in blankets with a hot water bottle and feed you old family remedies and warm soup. If the wound or illness is way too severe to his liking, he will immediately make it go away with a snap of his fingers, otherwise he just likes to act like your caregiver and mother hen you.

Really loves to pull the 'single hardworking dad' act that makes the mothers and female teachers at your school swoon. He is not really interested in pursuing anything further with them, but boy, does he enjoy the attention.

He likes to check on you while you are sleeping. Sometimes he just stays there, quietly watching you sleep, his ever present smile growing bigger as a sense of pride fills his chest.

Lots of dad jokes, I think he's the only one who could pull it off and have everyone laugh. It goes with his radio host charisma and personality.

He does your hair. This man has singlehandledly researched and become well versed in the art of braiding hair. Braids, pigtails, or just brush it, you call it, you got it.

Alastor loves control and having power over people, he is the kind of dad that will subtly talk you out of doing something he doesn't approve of, just using his inmense charms and smooth talking skills to convince you into thinking this was your decision after doing some critical thinking. "Cher, I don't think you should do X, how about you do Y instead?" "I'm sure your friend is too busy to hang out today, why don't we go to the ice cream shop?" He won't ever put you down or make you feel bad about anything, but if you are deviating for the path that he has already set for you (the safe path) he will immediately persuade you to go back to the right way, his way. In Hell that aspect of him has become a million times worse, since he has already lost you once and has become someone with many dangerous enemies who wouldn't hesitate to use you to get back at him. His overprotectiveness and controlling behavior skyrocket when he becomes a demon, which eventually will come back to bite him in the ass.

Doesn't like having anyone question about your biological parents. He is your parent. You don't need anybody else.

Alastor is not fond of physical affection, unless he is the one initiating it. But, since he has had you since you were a baby, he has mostly grown used to your touch. He has become proficient enough in detecting your moods that he knows exactly when you are going to need a hug, a kiss or some other kind of physical comfort, so he can get ahead and start the contact first. He admits that one of his favorite ways nowadays to show affection to you is ruffling your fluffy hair, lightly tickling your ears, his eyes fill with joy when your ears get all twitchy.

Your room back at the hotel is a carbon copy of the one you had back when you were alive, but bigger, and with a private old timey bathroom. Alastor likes to come in whenever he pleases, he is the unliving embodiment of "I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your parent by coming in anyway". He even said so once. Word by word.

You can't stand Mimzy. Sorry, it's a fact, she always gets your name wrong and only comes by if she needs something from your dad. She seems to not be very fond of you either, can't understand why in Hell Alastor would waste his time so willingly just to take care of a snooty brat that ain't even his. But your father seems to like her enough, so you swallow up your critics.

When he was alive, and came back from a 'hunt', he always brought a little memorabilia for you, maybe some old watch, a fancy toy or trinket the victim had on them at that moment. Whatever little thing that wasn't too incriminating and pretty enough to be worthy of you. Now that you know the truth, you can't stop wondering with dread if every little thing he gifts you belonged once to a poor tormented soul that crossed in his path.

Might had fed you human remians in his stews. He utterly denies it, claiming that he would never do that to your delicate stomach. But the suspicious way his eyes quickly dart around the room, makes you think otherwise. It was the Great Depression after all, food was scarce. You'd rather not dwell too much on it or you will never eat anything ever again.

He is a monster, and it pained you to have been so blind all these years, but even after discovering his true nature, the only thing you could say about his parenting before that terrible night of the discovery, was that he was an excellent dad, a tad bit overbearing and overprotective, but a great parent nonetheless.

[fanaticat]

Like everyone else, I downloaded prime and watched Red White and Royal Blue this week.

I really loved the main characters, and an enemies to friends to lovers plot is like the basis of half of my serotonin.

I was a little unsure how believable their relationship development was going to be at the very beginning. At first their conflict seemed extra contrived…even for a rom com. They didn’t get along because of some tabloid comparisons and ONE minor miscommunication YEARS ago? C’mon.

BUT…after finishing the movie and really seeing where they went with it, it makes so much more sense. And I really, really love it.

Both Henry and Alex struggle so much with their public vs private personas.

Alex is cast as the charismatic, smooth social butterfly; Henry as a reserved, pompous rock of a person.

But underneath that, they’re both insecure goofballs who want to be loved, support their families, and do good in the world for the countries they serve. (And that’s really why they ultimately work so well together.)

They’re such complicated people who want desperately to be seen and appreciated for their whole selves. That’s where their conflict stems from when they were younger. They both saw this other man in a similarly difficult position, felt this instant attraction to him, and wanted the other one to somehow recognize their struggle and see the man underneath the facade. Unfortunately, they are so worried about being seen THEMSELVES that they fail to recognize the same desires in one another…until the fall-out from cake-gate.

Once they resolve their initial misunderstanding, the conflicts in the movie really aren’t so much between the two of them anymore. Instead, the conflicts arise when their INDIVIDUAL values and public/private lives seem to be at odds with one another.

The very things they bond over - supporting their families and the people the serve - drive the wedge between them. They worry that if they show their private selves at all, their ability to be valuable to their families and to their people will be compromised.

In spite of this, we see both of them breaking down the walls between their public and private selves during their time together, and showing more and more of who they really are. Sometimes they are the exact OPPOSITE of their public selves.

As we see their relationship develop, Henry - ever the poet - is often the smooth and confident one in their personal affairs, while Alex is sometimes awkward and unsure of himself in bed.

“Your body comes back to me in dreams” (!?! Henry WTF how long did you work on that verse before you hit send).

Versus…

“Who says ‘make love these days? Are we gonna listen to Lana Del Rey while we do it?” (Alex again covering his nerves with humor for the millionth time.)

And when things really get rough, we see Alex stepping up to be Henry’s solid anchor in the storm, and Henry openly admitting to him that he’s not ok. (Is there any more perfect moment than the two of them collapsing on the stairs together, holding onto one another for all they’re worth!?! Part of me DIED. An Amazon rom com has no business making me feel feelings like that.)

Their individual progression culminates in Alex giving this beautiful speech about both his love for Henry and his hopes for the people he serves. He is every bit the charismatic leader he is supposed to be, but he’s open and genuine, with heaps of vulnerability and no pretense. He uses his experience to admonish those who would do the same to others, and re-affirms that his family will continue to fight for those who need support.

Henry’s moment is equally perfect for him. No grand speech. Dignified and understated. He simply steps onto the balcony, waves, and makes history. But he doesn’t do it alone - he has Alex on his right side the whole time. He’s firm in standing up for himself, and genuine in wanting to take that step not just for himself, but to change the precedents and expectations for everyone else in his current and future kingdom. No more hiding beautiful things in silent, dark museums, but pulling them out into the light with a calm smile on his face and steel in his backbone.

The central conflict of the movie starts with the problems caused by the discrepancy between their personal and public selves, and ends with the lovely resolution of that conflict. And their love for one another is the catalyst for all that change. Henry and Alex truly bring out the best in one another, and by the end of the movie we have to believe that they’re going to go on to do great things.

Plus it’s just damn cute.

[meowww-ffxiv]

Finished Dawntrail main story! :}

Blorbo thoughts below.

.

It was thematically appropriate that Mordred, who was a funeral priest and had by this point in his life performed many a send-off, to both his most beloved Hydaelyn AND to his enemies, who spent that life after so much death during the Seventh Calamity helping others find comfort and dignity in their and their loved ones' passing, to be here in Living Memory.

He asked Cahciua to verify first. Theodore's Echo, when empowered by Mordred, could detect the melody of souls and not just the aether they were cocooned in. So with her blessing, they performed such a search -- and I'm sure they found it was just as she said. That all of Living Memory was a hollow echo.

And then Mordred agreed to her request.

.

Theodore accompanied Erenville for much of the time there, because they were close friends and because Theodore had also lost his mother. They didn't speak much during, since Erenville seemed someone who would rather weather his own pains in private, but he took great comfort in the fact that someone refused to leave him to his own devices. Someone unjudgmental and patient, and quiet.

They didn't speak after, not just yet, but one day soon they would.

Liios in his own WoL-verse did, though.

In a quiet moment afterwards, Liios caught up with Erenville in the dimming lights of a seaside street, and asked, "How are you?"

Erenville wanted to walk away. But the warmth and calm with which that question was asked made some already-fragile thing inside his chest crack. So he blurted, "I don't have a name for it. This-- This--"

"Mm," Liios agreed, like he knew exactly what it was Erenville meant, and so spared him the need to explain it.

They walked together, aimlessly, through those darkened streets. Until Erenville eventually said, "Ptolemy told me that you lost your mother too, decades ago."

"Yes. It was a good death. She was calm. We knew it was coming," Liios replied. He, too, sounded calm. The smooth surface of a scar healed over. "Her parting tore me apart in a way that unmade and remade me."

He left space in the silence that followed, for Erenville to speak. When he didn't, Liios continued, "Once the first wave of died away, it revisited me in fragments. Mum's favorite coffee mug on the kitchen counter. Her name cited in research papers that I read. Letters addressed to her from old students and colleagues that took weeks to arrive, so by the time they got to us, it was already months after the funeral.

"Seeing the casket lowered into the ground wasn't as hard as knowing that she will never drink out of that mug again. Nor will she be there to answer questions I have about those papers and her opinions on their findings. Nor will she ever sit by the window of our house, smelling of jasmine and incense, answering those letters. It overwhelmed me, the void that Mum left behind."

Erenville's steps faltered. Liios slowed too, adjusting his pace effortlessly so they were still together, shoulder-to-shoulder. His eyes were on the sea and its gentle ripples, diligently averted from the tears pouring down Erenville's face.

"I told the housekeeper to stay out of our home for six months," Liios said. "I couldn't bear it -- to touch anything in that house felt like it would erase the last traces of her in the world. In this corner of the world that we once shared. Ptolemy was still unwell then, so he stayed at the hospital most nights, though I think he did so intentionally because it was me that he couldn't bear and not the house, nor her loss.

"Days went by. The dust gathered. Everything was untouched, just the way it was when she left for the last time, inert and lifeless. She departed anyway. I scrambled to hold onto her presence, to the point of destroying every opportunity I'd spent decades to earn for myself.

"But then we went to Eorzea, and I found her again. Paradoxically, she wasn't in that mausoleum I'd made of our home. She was a forceful and assertive woman, you see. She traveled to the least recommended places to render medical aid to those who might not have any hope of such help even existing. And Eorzea, Coerthas, being the dangerous frontier that it was... When I hiked into the mountains with my students and made our aetherological engineering 'projects' into helping install self-functioning lamps so the locals wouldn't slip in the dark, or some such... There she was. Rhaya Suvalli, the Miqo'te scholar who sprung my brother out of the grave my clan had already placed him into, just waiting for him to stop breathing. Rhaya Suvalli, up to her elbows in grease or blood, helping people. Because it was what she'd set her heart on. Because she had decided this was the right thing to do."

The sea-winds were cold at night. Erenville blamed them for the way he was shivering and not because of the feeling of seams rapidly coming apart under his skin.

But Liios turned and shrugged off the short cloak he'd been wearing, and tossed it around Erenville's shoulders. He continued, like he didn't see the tears still, "I turn ninety-two this year. Believe me when I say that what I just told you is a universal experience. So long as you continue to live, you'll find those you have outlived in the things they loved and cared about. And Cahciua was obviously a remarkable woman, so I'm more than certain you will find her with ease. Never mind the fact that you're one of the finest gleaners we've had in a generation."

...Being honest, Erenville had always had a mild aversion to Liios. Some of it was exactly because Liios reminded him of the most exhausting bits of his mother. Someone who seemed nice and cheerful, but was in fact very pushy and always deciding things on their own. The other part was just Liios himself, who was talkative and high-energy in a way that made Erenville want to exit the room. The audacity of the Warrior of Light to be shocked that Erenville wasn't yet thirty, when Liios himself felt overly young for his age. Which, cringe.

But in that moment, Liios's lopsided smile and the paltry attempt at a compliment left a warmth in Erenville's chest that, just like the grief he hadn't yet untangled, could not be extinguished.

He still snorted and shook his head, sullenly wrapping the cloak up to his nose to hide his face. But when Liios laughed, the tears slowed.

Erenville had no clear recollection of how he got from the streets back to the palace and into his bedroom, only that he didn't feel crushingly alone during any of it which meant Liios escorted him. And he would claim no recollection of why there was a green-and-brown cloak among his possessions now, either.

Erenville considered passing it back through Ptolemy, but his friend giving him an amused look and asking, "Are you returning a gift?" had him rescind the thought.

But faces had to be saved. So Erenville told Ptolemy, "You should be proud. He managed almost an entire conversation about himself without mentioning you more than once."

To which Ptolemy only laughed, a little sadly. "I made him promise to try and live for himself, after he returned from Ultima Thule," he said. "I see Svalin is as serious about his promises as he'd always been."

It gave Erenville the nebulous feeling that maybe the invincible Warrior of Light might be among the least okay people in Eitherys. But they could unpack that later. Cahciua would most definitely have pestered Liios, anyway. Erenville might try his hand at it.

.

Coming back to Meowdred for a moment. Every time he saw the aftermath of an Umbral Calamity, Meowdred wanted to descend to the Underworld and beat Emet-Selch to death a second time.

It was pointless. He knew that. Ascians didn't give a fuck. Emet-Selch most of all. Everything for the glory of their past, etc. He couldn't make them hurt the way they hurt these worlds they destroyed, because they were only inflicting that very same pain they suffered on those around them. But Mordred wanted satisfaction so badly. He wanted Emet-Selch to be affected by the raw fury and hatred and agony Mordred himself feel, reprised over and over, in hearing these stories.

But Emet-Selch, once again, would never be sorry. Nor was Azem sorry all those millennia ago, for having walked out on Emet-Selch and his own people.

They all must shoulder their harvests, of joy or of blood.

Somewhere in this was the uncomfortable realization on Mordred's end that he wanted Emet-Selch to care about him; about how he felt. While knowing the fucker didn't. And he knew too where this desire came from; they were very alike, and Mordred sought in Emet-Selch a kinship. An acknowledgement all their own, between them, and not an echo of Hades and Medeus of the Azem seat.

Nasty. Awful. Hate it. But it existed.

.

Liios had licked the new macguffin bestowed upon him by Sphene and the plot at least once by now. He had also stared at the helix shape for a long, long time, and wondered if it had anything to do with the spiral silhouettes so favored by the Ancients of Amaurot.

While in Elpis the first time, Liios had managed to gather some information about Azem. Apparently he was also a technological whiz just like him, with a love for inventing ridiculous devices to solve people's problems. Liios had no idea if that Azem -- whose name was apparently Helios, the comedy that fate was -- knew about the Sundering beforehand, but if he did, wasn't it just like him to leave behind a means by which to bridge worlds?

Ah, well. That was food for thought. For right now, Liios was spending his time trying to puzzle out how to use electrope like the Living Memory's civilization did.

[rotfallen]

DYNAMICS MASTERPOST.

this is a list of dynamics tabitha currently has as of 6/02/24. this list is subject to change and will constantly be updated.

MALACHI FAUST. (@roulettte)

HOUSEMATES / ENEMIES / ENEMIES - WITH - BENEFITS

MAIN VERSE / PRIVATE ALTERNATE VERSE

[ malachi faust ] — which monster will devour the other first? (roulettte)

when she was found by malachi, tabitha was surprised to meet another fallen angel, but was soon perturbed by the former archangel's...... eccentric personality. nowadays, in the mansion, the two of them seem to use each other for their own selfish gains, particularly with tabitha using malachi as an outlet for her endless voracity when she needs to take the edge off.

AOIFE THATCHER. (@sunsweets)

FRIENDS / POTENTIAL ROMANCE

MAIN VERSE

[ aoife thatcher ] — you've got sunshine in your heart. (sunsweets)

when aoife first started visiting the mansion, tabitha was always hesitant, wary, and on her guard. however, as the visits became more and more frequent, and even the guarded apparition annabel, who didn't trust easily, grew comfortable around the farmer, so too did the fallen angel. her bond with aoife is tight, though should things go a step further, tabitha fears that the other woman will leave once things get too dangerous. she fears the worst, so she still keeps a tight guard on her heart — will aoife be able to break past the walls she's built?

NAOMI MAELSTROM. (@squidsavior)

FRIENDS

PROJECT MOON VERSE

[ naomi maelstrom ] — the tightest bonds are thicker than water. (squidsavior)

tuvia didn't know what to think of naomi at first. she had thought the color fixer to be a strange one, suddenly appearing in her life out of the blue just as they had popped out of the water that fateful day. but as time went on, the bloodfiend started to regard naomi as a friend, someone she could confide in about her troubles. but should that woman try to interfere... will the navy captain stay by her side? or will they leave her to die at the hands of her creator?

ELENA KADMON. (@soulsbetrayed)

ENEMIES / FAMILIAL

PROJECT MOON VERSE

[ elena kadmon ] — i will never be your daughter. (soulsbetrayed)

tuvia despises elena with every fiber of her being. the woman who turned her into a bloodfiend, the one who made her a monster; yet try as she might, the younger cannot escape the gaze of the elder no matter how far she runs — the bond between mother and child is unbreakable.

JULIAN KADMON. (@soulsbetrayed)

ACQUAINTANCES / POTENTIAL FRIENDS

PROJECT MOON VERSE

[ julian kadmon ] — like mother like son. (soulsbetrayed)

when tuvia met julian, all she saw was the awful mother who birthed him. he was nothing more than a spitting image of the monster that made her. but as they keep talking, she'll start to see the differences. not all monsters are the same.

MARI KITAGAWA. (@riverwished)

UNWILLING ALLIES / FRIENDS

MAIN VERSE

[ mari kitagawa ] — can a monster keep you safe from monsters? (riverwished)

it had all started with saving mari's life. tabitha didn't even know them, but living among humans had given the fallen angel a sense of empathy, a heart for those around her that wasn't just hunger. but as much as tabi wants to grow closer to them, the both of them have walls up, hiding a darkness that neither of them want to reveal. but slowly, a friendship sprouts between monster and hunter, whether they want it or not.

DECIMA. (@novastrae)

FRIENDS / ROMANCE

MAIN VERSE

[ decima ] — all the stars could never compare to you. (novastrae)

the interruption of her meal turned out to be a once - in - a - lifetime meeting that felt fated. the two seemed to be drawn together, outcasts who were not like the rest of humanity. will the stars align for them?

AHRI. (@vulpesse)

ROMANCE

MAIN VERSE

[ ahri ] — am i beautiful as i tear you to pieces? (vulpesse)

the embodiment of nature herself and she who would dare defy it for the sake of her own existence. what happens when two monsters share a bond that can never be broken? after all, not even fate can tear them apart.

[vinceleemiller]

On The Run But Not Alone | 1 Samuel 21

Are you lonely, like David, a "man on the run"?

Welcome to the Daily Devo. I am Vince Miller.

Remember, tomorrow, we will air a new episode of The Vince Miller Show entitled "Beliefs That Hold You Back." If you have Video Access on our website, this episode is already available; if not, wait until tomorrow. Be in prayer for this Show. We have invested a lot of time and money into this effort, and we hope this will reach out in a new way so others will be able to hear the Gospel.

This week, here in the Daily Devo, we are in 1 Samuel 21. I've titled this chapter "Man On The Run."

David will be on the run for a long time, approximately 12-15 years. In the last chapter, he ran to Naioth in Ramah to Samuel and then back to the rocks in Gibeah. In this chapter, he will run to Nob (the location of the Tabernacle) and then to Gath (the home of Goliath). There will be many more locations, 16 in all, that we will list in the coming chapters (i.e., the Cave of Adullam, the king of Moab at Mizpeh, "the stronghold" maybe Masada, the forest of Hereth, Keilah, the wilderness of Ziph, the wilderness of Maon, strongholds of Engedi, "the stronghold" maybe Masada again, the wilderness of Paran, and the finally back to Achish, the king of Gath.)

So, I will not give you a key verse for this chapter this week. (If I did, I would pick 1 Samuel 21:4.)

Instead, I will share a private excerpt from David's journal during this emotional time, which reveals a lot about what is going on in his mind.

But first, I want you to imagine how lonely David felt in these moments. He has been separated from his family and will never speak to his biological father ever again. His father-in-law (King Saul) wants to kill him and has given a charge to the Israelite army to hunt him down. His wife (Michal) and best friend (Jonathan) cannot communicate with him. He cannot take refuge in Samuel in the Naioth at Ramah. David is a fugitive, a man on the run. At the end of this chapter, David hides in Gath, which is in Philistia, the enemy of Israel, and acts like a madman here to preserve his life from King Saul. There could be no more lonely moment for David.

However, during this chapter, David made two journal entries, Psalms 34 and 56. And I want to read a portion of Psalm 34 for you today so you can see what David is thinking.

The title of this Psalm in your Bible might say:

"Of David, when he changed his behavior before Abimelech, so that he drove him out, and he went away."

The name "Abimelech" is a title like "President" or "King," and the man this refers to is named Achish, or "Abimelech Achish" who is the focus of 1 Samuel 21:10-15. Here is what he writes.

I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together! — Psalm 34:1-3

The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned. — Psalm 34:15-22

Even though David is alone and a man on the run, he knows he is never alone. And some of you need to hear this today. If God is with you, you are never alone. David preached, journaled, wrote, and sang this truth to his heart, mind, and soul. He put his hand to paper, his lip to song, his heart to prayer in those lonely moments in the enemy land, pretending to be a madman to stay alive as God's anointed, and God was with him.

In lonely moments, never forget that with God, you are never alone. Preach this truth to your soul. Sing about it. Read about it. Write about it. Believe it. God is a deliverer. He is near, not far.

And don't forget that during these years, God slowly built an army of hundreds of men around David who followed him from the Struggling Fugitive Years to the Soldiering Fighting Years.

#NeverAlone, #FaithInTheWilderness, #GodWithUs

Ask This:

When have you felt most alone, and how did you remind yourself of God's presence during that time?

Like David, how can you preach truth to your soul in moments of fear or loneliness? What practical steps can you take today?

Do This:

Preach to your soul, "I am not alone, God is with me."

Pray This:

Lord, in my moments of loneliness, help me to remember that You are always with me, even when I feel abandoned. Give me the strength to trust in Your presence and to find refuge in Your unfailing love. Amen.

Play This:

I Am Not Alone.

Check out this episode!

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Cutting It Away

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK
=========================
+ Psalm 66:19 But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer."
=========================
VERSE OF THE DAY 
========================

+ Mark 9:43  If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off. You should enter life maimed, then with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.
=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM LIVING RIGHTEOUSLY 

I AM LEANING ON GOD 

I AM NOT ALONE 

I AM DOING IT IN HIS STRENGTH 
********************************
THOUGHTS:
=======================

   A lot in this world can cause us to stumble. Sometimes, seeing it as we are in it is hard for us. Sin can cause us to think there's nothing wrong with what we are doing, but it is; the word of God today says that if we are stumbling because of our hands, it's best we cut them off and walk around with just the one then to enter into hell with two.

   The bibles warns us if something is causing us to sin, get rid of it and that nothing on earth is worth going to hell for; a lot of times, we don't understand that what we do here on earth, be it good or bad will determine where we spend eternity, we have to start looking at our life daily to ask God what am I doing that keeping me from going to heaven.

  Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since such a great cloud of witnesses surrounds us, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

     The Bible tells us here that sin will cling to us. We might think oh, this sin is easy to drop, or This sin is easy to get rid of, but my friend's sin isn't that easy. Once we open the door to sin, it will stay as long as we permit it. We have to be able to ask for the strength of a God and say, God, "I need your strength to rebuke and deny this sin that has access to me, "because when we are committing ANY sin, we are giving the enemy legal grounds to send any spirit our way because we gave him the opening, a lot of us don't understand how critical sin can be in our lives and if we aren't careful it will be a sin we can’t release so quickly.

     So what do we do when sin won't leave us? We must fast. The Bible speaks of some sins needing fasting and prayer; once, there was a man who came to Jesus and said lord have mercy, my son is suffering, some translations say he was vexed,  meaning he was troubled or saddened, but this man was coming to Jesus because his son needed true healing. 

   He went to the disciples, and the disciples couldn't do it, and they couldn't heal him because some things only leave when someone fast and pray , sometimes it takes certain people, not that these people are unique, but these people fast and pray a lot more and because of this they can release a demon from over someone's life, anyone can do this, but some people place more time in with their relationship with God ,some people pray longer , read their word longer, and allow the Holy Spirit to use them, but anyone can do this because we have the authority by God to do this,

  Mark 17:19-20hen the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not cast it out?" 20 He said to them, "Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.

     But back to what we are trying to learn, the Holy Spirit wants us to know that when we have sinned in our lives, we need to release ourselves from it. Only we can do it. We have to speak the holy word and have the mindset that we want to be free. God can release us, and he can do it without us saying the words or wanting to, but God always wants us to do it because he has given us free will until we say we are done. We want to be free. He can do nothing; when I gave my life to Christ, I wanted freedom from anything that didn't look or feel like righteousness or holiness. Once the Holy Spirit showed me the bondage I was in, and until I said I had enough, I wasn't going to be free until then. 

   Romans 6:18 And, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.

   We must become slaves to righteousness and want to please God with our lives; yes, we will sin, but we don't have to sin intentionally. But when we do not release the bondage over our life, we must fast and pray.  We are no longer slaves to our sins; we are no longer slaves to having to need a drink or having to have illicit moments to feel good, and we are slaves to righteousness. 

   ***Today, we learned that some sins would cling to us because we can't let go of the sin. The enemy has built a stronghold around us, and the only way to break free from this is by fasting and praying.  We all want to be better, and we all want to be free from the sins we are bound to, but we have to understand that we must fast and pray. When we do this, we are making a sacrifice, and this sacrifice will help strengthen our spirit, man. 

   Mercy and grace are from the lord and him alone. We can't think being good will win us more because that's not the case, but mercy and grace are there to help see us through when we mess up; it's there to help us if it is a sin that we are struggling with go to God in prayer say, father, I need your help because both of my hands are causing me to defile myself, father help me because my mouth is leading me to say things I shouldn't and until we submit the unrighteousness and CUT IT ALL AWAY we will never be set free to live a life of righteousness through Christ. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee
========================
PRAYER
========================
Heavenly Father, thank you for everything; we lay it all at your feet and ask you now to help us be free from our sins. Father, we ask you right now to give unto us strength and freedom to say no and to live in righteousness, lord we are ashamed of our sins, but we know you have sent your son to wash us in the blood and help us to live in his strength and not in our own. Lord, we want to go to heaven and can only do this when we give up on what we are doing. Help us live a life in you! In Jesus' Name Amen
========================
REFERENCES 
========================
+ Romans 6:6 We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.

+ Romans 6: 22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.

+ 1 John 3:4 Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.
========================
FURTHER READINGS 
=========================
Proverbs 23

Acts 12

Numbers 2

Matthew 8
=========================

[polarnoid]

⭐

MULTIMUSE MEME: Send a " ⭐ " and I will list muses I would be interested in throwing at yours, or potential muse combinations if you are also a multi.

okay im gonna try and like keep things we have talked about off the table for the meanwhile, there are some muses i am interested in i do not know much about ?? but hehhe we can definitely talk also sticking to the non private ones but like you know where to find me if you have any other ideas from this...

nancy & jeremy.

ok but of them are nosey like that, also nancy is obsessed with the truth and getting to the bottom of things. jeremy could join in on the fun, except nancy isn't fun but i think it would be an interesting dynamic to flesh out. and idk she could be judgey and a meanie but also she needs friends desperately...she's so alone dkjfhgkdjhg FRIENDS !! SHE WRITES STUFF DOWN HE COULD PUT A BOARD SOLVE MYSTERIES he could even get a gun and shoot things !!

alice & jeremy.

so alice is an experiment in her st verse, again suggesting the premise of teens get their own el sorta situation. also she is weird girl coded. possibly interesting to explore how they would get along and get to the bottom of what happened to her and who did it to her, while she tries to like live out a life. as normal as possible. she is a little weirdooo befriend her maybe.

the undertaker & laszlo.

monster hunter meet vampire, that would be really fun i think. laszlo is soooo him and taker is just a grumpy stoic guy, fun dynamic could happen here. possibly. taker is also like immortal so we could have fun with that i think possibly.

the undertaker & van helsing.

oh ??? monster hunter friends?? buddies?? can taker have buddies?? i dont know but they can join forces and um kick ass i suppose i suggest maybe ...

the pack & dean.

hey dean you wouldn't want to hunt these silly guys, these kids, they do kill people and are chill about it but also they are lil guys, also have no clue how werewolves like work, would probably not really know about hunters until like they meet one. so fun! they can be annoying hehe and dean can just endure it.

patrick & axel.

oh guys who are guys and up to no good, could be a cool friendship especially if axel is all like that. but patrick is chiller i think, i hope. they can have their fun, hehehe.

constantine & rowena.

this one just pop into my head. magic users !!! uhhh maybe working together maybe working against each other.

arnie & jeremy.

oh stoner cool guy, not the greatest influence. also arnie has like bad bad luck, so maybe that would be real funny. maybe even have them both be camp conselours or maybe they get involved in the middle of the st happenings without any previous knowledge as to how they found themselves there in the first place.

fiona & rowena.

hey hey that's her mother in law, and fiona is sooo lonely. and freaked out. god this could go really well or like really really bad ? idk they are family now and they have to deal with the fact. also fiona has no clue what's going on. and rowena has had a kid before, would she help fiona deal with being pregnant and then having a kid? i feel like again this would be really good or like possibly the worst thing i think.

castiel & rowena.

ok funny to me, i do not know how their dynamic plays out but i want them to interact...sue me??

richie & max.

ok alright mike's queer cousin, the worst little guy ! i think they might not get along but the two of them got involved with the upside down thing late into things happening. lot's of bickering trying to out sass each other that is real funny to me. also probably could help or be worse about the things that happen to max on a personal level.

vada & carol.

um worsties? friends who are mean to each other? mean bitches hehehe they can cause problems on purpose

lazarus & baron.

hey two TWO cult guys, maybe they can be rivals or enemies, something supernatural happenings in the background of things perchance...also idk its interesting to think about at least.

rosa & rowena.

ok starting out witch meets ancient witch...could be a mentoring of sorts, or maybe just like witches look out for other witches. we could do a whole lore thing for witches. but you know rosa is a goody two shoes sooo hmmmm.

ophelia & rowena.

oh well again recent witch meets ancient witch, but ophelia is more evil coded and her magic comes from a super ancient eldritch entity, again something fun to explore given how ophelia has definitely not reached her full potential. we could throw the rest of the house at rowena but i personally feel the cool interaction is with ophelia...

muireann & dean.

um just an insane thing here...fish out of water, eats men for fun...also she is pretty, maybe she just needs to be helped a little over here...definitely giving her a more modern verse with my own ideas for what mermaids would be in spn...definitely different from sirens.

constantine & dean.

funny to me. personally. did you know they based cas on constantine? yeah but constantine is just a dickhead, idk man two dickheads one is a hunter and the other one is a magic user. more people there to annoy dean yay !!

@shadowcovcn

[youwerenevermiine]

Your Favorite Romance Author Is Probably a Swiftie

by Rolling Stone

Taylor Swift has raised an entire generation of songwriters — but her influence has also permeated a community of novelists doing in 100,000 words what she does in three minutes.

JULY 6, 2023

THE PROTAGONISTS IN K.L. Walther’s 2021 romance novel The Summer of Broken Rules have two hard stops: Wit doesn’t want to be called “kid,” and Meredith doesn’t want to be called “baby.” If you’re a Swiftie, these traits jump off the page. Specifically, they call to mind the narration of the Folklore deep cut “Illicit Affairs,” where Taylor Swift sings, “Don’t call me ‘kid,’ don’t call me ‘baby’/Look at this idiotic fool that you made me/You taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else.”

It’s a remarkable coincidence: Folklore hadn’t yet been released when Walther wrote The Summer of Broken Rules, so she couldn’t have known about the parallels that would eventually form between the album and her book. But similarities between the novel and other parts of Swift’s catalog were intentional. Wit, for example, was created in the image of the man Walther envisioned while listening to “Hey Stephen” from Fearless. The novel, which follows an intense game of “Assassin” at Martha’s Vineyard during a wedding weekend, also nods subtly to “Bad Blood” and has a self-proclaimed Swiftie for a bride. The reader doesn’t need to be well-versed in all things Swift to enjoy the story, but there’s a kind of secret language there for the ones who are.

Hiding Easter eggs in character names, dialogue, and story arcs tends to come easily to authors who are also Swifties. Their grasp on storytelling allows them to do in 100,000 words what Swift does in a song, often with her own layered hidden messages. “I think she really gives full stories in those five minutes,” Walther says. “But I do love to find gaps in earlier songs where I can think to myself, ‘OK, even if this is just a writing exercise, expand upon what’s going on here.’” Within the worlds of Swift’s songs, these authors find and build parallels to their own. Like hers, their stories build around romantic highs and lows, but also around unsettled grief, coming-of-age experiences, and occasionally spine-chilling thrillers.

“My writing always starts out with a Spotify playlist. And it’s not intentional, but Taylor Swift always has a lot of real estate in my playlists,” Walther explains. On songs like “Blank Space” and “Anti-Hero,” Swift creates characters that are a version of herself, but make use of the exaggerated emotions and narratives around her public life — and speculation about her private one. On others, like “Last Great American Dynasty” (about millionaire socialite Rebekah Harkness) and “No Body, No Crime” (about a fictional murder wrapped up in infidelity), she creates new worlds from scratch. Swift’s songs often drop listeners into the middle of a story, building suspense through character development and plot twists before she enacts a grand reveal. “It’s pretty amazing what her storytelling can do,” Walther adds. “When I listen to her, it’s for pleasure — but I’m also studying and taking mental notes about how she does that.”

Like many young-adult and adult-contemporary romance novels, Swift’s music sometimes relies on classic tropes. The plot of “Wildest Dreams” centers around a secret romance, while “You Belong With Me” is a classic case of a girl-next-door’s unrequited love. Enemies-to-lovers emerges on “Cowboy Like Me,” and “Delicate” finds a coldhearted cynic warming up to love. Swift even mapped out a love triangle across three songs on Folklore.

The New York Times bestselling author Emily Henry uses romance tropes to untangle the lives of her characters, too. There’s friends-to-lovers in People We Meet on Vacation, small-town romance in Book Lovers, and close proximity in Beach Read. The tropes build a foundation broad enough to maintain a sense of universality, but the hyperspecific details within these stories keep them from feeling too formulaic. It’s the same strategy Swift uses to create a diaristic sense of proximity while leaving enough space within her lyrics for listeners to fill in the gaps with their own experiences.

“The details feel really significant, the emotion feels really intense, and there’s so much pining and nostalgia and achiness in [Swift’s] lyrics,” Henry explains. “In readers, in fiction, we’re seeing this huge resurgence of an appreciation for earnestness and ardor after what felt like forever of irony.” Henry points to the overflow of details on Swift’s haunting “All Too Well” as a perfect example: “You might not have had a red scarf, but you maybe lent a favorite book or album to someone or left a sweatshirt over at their house. It’s like everybody knows that feeling of giving a piece of yourself, or something really important, to another person. That feeling of wanting it back but also wanting it to haunt them a little bit.”

That push and pull is the most realistic part of any of these characters. Their decision-making, at times, is so antithetical to their happy ending that each page turn produces more frustration than the last. But that sense of not being able to stop a good thing from devolving into chaos and self-sabotage is a universal truth, even if it makes the protagonist unlikable at times. In her fictional and autobiographical creations, Swift has walked this line. “She is the main character, so she’s both imperfect and extremely worthy of love. She’s sometimes very selfish, but also very self-aware. She is the romantic, but she’s also the cynic. She’s the archer, and she’s the prey,” Henry explains. “I think the thing that calls to so many of us from her as a ‘character’ is the idea that she is all of those things and all of us.”

Swift’s work makes for great source material because each of her 10 albums capture such specific points in her life. For Walther, staying within the realm of Fearless and Speak Now’s teenage melodrama is crucial to writing a teen love story like The Summer of Broken Rules. And a storyline in the book about the death of the protagonist’s sister also connects to the grief on Evermore’s “Marjorie,” written about Swift’s late grandmother. Walther was inspired by the death of her own father when writing, but both capture the way we’re inescapably reminded of loss. There’s a little bit of everything, everywhere.

Alexandria Bellefleur, who littered Swift references throughout her sapphic marriage-of-convenience novel The Fiancée Farce, saw the overwhelming romantic feelings her characters were experiencing echoed in Red and 1989. “That feeling of romantic attraction, love and lust, those butterflies — it doesn’t matter your gender, it doesn’t matter who you’re attracted to. She writes songs and presents emotion to me in a way that is very universal,” Bellefleur explains. “I think that’s why it’s easy when you’re not writing straight romance to still capture that and find that inspiration in her songs.”

Author Chloe Gong deals in fantasy, and yet the Juliette in her Romeo and Juliet-inspired trilogy, These Violent Delights, isn’t all that different from the one in Swift’s “Love Story.” In her spinoff novel Foul Lady Fortune, a scientific experiment leaves Rosalind Lang cursed with immortality. She’s stuck in time in a more-literal sense, but her emotions aren’t unlike the ones Swift expresses on the Evermore deep cut “Right Where You Left Me” about the world moving on without her.

“If I add something supernatural, like a character stops aging, it’s like a metaphor for feeling stuck — everyone else has moved on and atoned for their mistakes, but this character is still so burdened by the past,” Gong explains. “And I feel like Taylor’s music, because she captures that emotion super well, even if there’s no straight pull from the romance arc or anything, it still hits at that really vulnerable part of being human that I think any good romance novel has and, of course, all good songs capture.”

[lauramarriane]

independent,  private,  and  highly  selective  laura  marianne  hope,  an  original  character  based  in  the  s.weeney  t.odd  universe  as  cherished  by  fleur  (she/her;  18+).  laura  is  an  original  character  based  on  my  portrayal  of  j.ohanna  b.arker’s  single  mother  alternate  universe.  sideblog  to  gathersroses.  personal/non-roleplay  blogs,  do  not  interact.  rules  below  the  cut. 

doc.  johanna.  pinterest.  interest  tracker.   

one.  as  stated  above,  laura  is  an  original  character  based  in  the  s.weeney  t.odd  universe  and  is  an  original  character/npc  a  part  of  my  portrayal  of  johanna’s  single  mother  verse.  laura  is  her  and  a.nthony  h.ope’s  daughter.  she  is  exclusive  to  my  johanna.  i  expect  laura  will  mostly  be  interacting  with  muses  who  have  or  currently  interact  with  johanna’s  single  mother  verse  on  that  blog,  though  i  am  not  exclusive  to  those  interactions. 

two.  triggers  will  be  tagged  as  “[trigger]  tw”  this  blog  will  feature  subjects  such  as  parental  death,  single  parenting,  grief,  and  other  topics  that  are  commonly  on  johanna’s  blog  (  though,  a  lot  less  ).  let  me  know  if  you  would  like  me  to  tag  anything  for  you  and  i  will  do  it  happily.  please  tag  politics,  drama,  nsfw,  and  current  events  for  me.  thank  you! 

three.  i  love  memes!  send  them  in  and  i  will  love  you  forever.  i'm  not  great  at  plotting,  but  if  that  is  your  preferred  way  of  interacting,  hop  into  my  ims  with  ideas!  i  do  my  threads  completely  at  random,  so  that's  why�� i  reply  at  lightening  speed  sometimes  or  i  don't  for  a  hot  minute.  please  reblog  from  the  source  and  not  from  this  blog!  that  includes  aesthetics,  memes,  musings, etc.  please  do  not  like  or  reblog  my  threads  if  you  are  not  apart  of  them.  non  rp  blogs  will  be  blocked  on  sight.  if  you  have  a  roleplay  sideblog,  let  me  know.  if  you  want  to  unfollow,  please  soft  or  hard  block  me.

four.  i  use  double  spacing,  smalltext,  65x65  icons  (and  occasionally  iconless),  with  bold  and  italics  for  emphasis.  i  do  not  expect  my  partners  to  match  formatting  at  all.  please  let  me  know  if  you  need  something  adjusted  for  our  threads! 

five.  i  am  highly  selective  on  this  blog,  due  to  it  not  being  extremely  active.  i  love  crossovers  and  ocs.  if  i  don’t  follow  back,  it's  likely  because  your  muse  is  from  one  of  my  banned  fandoms,  i  don't  feel  comfortable  on  your  blog,  or  i  can't  see  our  muses  interacting.  i  will  not  interact  with  muses  from  the  following:  book  of  mormon  the  musical,  southpark,  euphoria,  fnaf,  most  zombie  media,  anime  fandoms  or  steven  universe.  i’m  not  familiar  with  every  muse  so  i  really  appreciate  if  you  have  an  about  page/doc/carrd. 

six.  there  will  be  nothing  nsfw  on  here  as  i’m  not  comfortable  with  it.  i  do  love  shipping!  i  love  all  sort  of  relationships.  platonic,  familial,  enemies,  etc.  you  have  to  let  me  know  if  you  are  interested  in  plotting  a  romantic  dynamic.  i  am  blinder  than  a  bat  if  you  want  to  ship  with  me  unless  you  outright  tell  me.  i  prefer  to  talk  about  that  type  of  dynamic  a  little  bit  in  depth  before  bouncing  into  it,  just  to  get  an  idea  of  where  we  are  going. 

seven.  i'm  fleur  (she/her;  18+).  i  am  at  school  and  have  a  part-time  job  and  family  and  friends  so  i  will  not  active  on  here  all  the  time,  but  please  don’t  be  afraid  to  reach  out  if  we  are  mutuals.  i  will  warn  you  that  i  am  a  tad  shy  in  online  settings  and  sometimes  i  don't  have  the  energy  to  reply  right  away,  but  don't  let  that  deter  you!  i  absolutely  love  rambling  and  keyboard  smashing  about  our  muses  together.

psd  credit  to  multismyfandom  

[poisonpicked]

tag drop 4/??? 

emily, ethan, finn 

[thieveryatitsfinest]

TAG DROP

[nctdreamcokr]

yanna’s relationship with nct pt. 2 (updated)

(this is an updated version of yanna’s relationship with her members + shotaro and sungchan, by age)

・❥・ lucas

(leaving this section clear until a proper statement about everything. this isn’t to delete him as a member nor to side with him, but i also have no idea what to write here because i’m unsure how he’s doing these days. i hope people understand.)

・❥・ mark

- yanna pinching mark’s ears unprovoked? more likely than you think.

- mark always says yanna takes good care of him and it makes him feel like he isn’t the oldest in dream sometimes.

- both admitted that they enjoy sharing verses and rapping back and forth with each other since their flow matches. and they know nctzens die everytime.

- recent fan favorite moment: beatbox starts off with mark and he basically turns over the first verse to yanna, during performances they would do it in different and random ways like yanna tapping him on the shoulder for him to turn so she could start off the song.

・❥・ xiaojun

- they’re closer but still not as much. they can sit beside each other now and talk casually, but they barely hang out.

- yanna’s incredibly impressed with xiaojun’s voice, and she’s vocal about it.

- kun said that the only reason yanna and xiaojun started trying to be friends is because they were scared the members would put them on awsaz. both denied it, of course.

- recent fan favorite moment: xiaojun mentioned in a recent live that yanna once kicked his knee and it hurt a lot. after a few minutes, she called his phone while the live was going on, basically yelling “i already said sorry!”

・❥・ hendery

- hendery’s the only person who leaves yanna perplexed.

- road to besties, to be honest. yanna finds hendery way too funny to not be bestie material.

- “henny and yanny”.

- recent fan favorite moment: there’s a selfie yanna posted on bubble, holding a piece of hendery’s hair as a mustache during his haircut.

・❥・ renjun

- literally her boyfriend. staying strong. not even sm can ruin their relationship. need i say more?

- group promotions are funny for fans because they almost get zero crumbs. they literally never sit next to each other. the most people get are subtle protective movements from renjun.

- but truly, weibo is where they mostly are. renjun posts pictures of yanna while the girl would always post short vlogs whenever they go out.

- recent fan favorite moment: during beatbox’s jacket behind the scene shoot, the two were paired up. yanna resisted eye contact the whole time, not wanting to look unprofessional. when it ended, renjun moved his face towards her and smiled while making eye contact. the staffs squealed at the interaction and yanna could only push him lightly.

・❥・ jeno

- bff #1. their handshake is through head bumps.

- yanna dropped honorifics for him in private and he didn’t mind. he calls her “ae cha” in return.

- jeno’s 65% done with yanna’s ass.(/j) he literally goes “we’ve been friends for way too long” on a daily basis.

- recent fan favorite moment: yanna’s drawer has various pictures on top of it, framed. one of those is a picture of predebut jeno and her eating ice cream together.

・❥・ haechan

- they’re over the enemies era, hyuck is now yanna’s baby.

- equally clingy. like, they’re usually the ones seated next to each other and yanna always has her hand under hyuck’s chin.

- they always speak softly to each other and give compliments, unless they’re in a goofy mood.

- recent fan favorite moment: as part of “yanna reacts”, which was changed to “ae cha’s corner” last 2021, the girl filmed a reaction to nct 2021’s universe album. in the middle of it, haechan entered the room and she invited him to join her. the whole video, her arm was around haechan’s neck and her chin was on his shoulder as she complimented everyone and would get excited for haechan during his parts.

・❥・ jaemin

- bff #2. help jaemin because as much as he loves how close they are again, yanna shares so much random stuff to him that he just ends up face palming.

- literally whispers and laughs about random shit, even high fives about it. jeno would have to walk over from somewhere to understand why his bestfriends are laughing.

- it really took them a while to become as close again, but they’ve always had a nice friendship. it’s just obvious how comfortable they’ve become to each other this year once again.

- recent fan favorite moment: during a recent group ig live, yanna accidentally shook her phone— making her realize her phone case makes sounds because of the liquid inside. she then paused and whispered to jaemin about it, making the man go “you’ve had that for 4 months, you’re just finding out now?” a little loudly. yanna then went “아가리 닥쳐”, to which her and jaemin both laughed at secretly while the other members were left confused.

・❥・ yangyang

- yangyang knows the passcode to yanna’s apartment unit. because he likes playing with her dog, neoran. not because of her and she has a “huge grudge” regarding this.

- yanna helps him out in his korean a lot, wanting him to write more korean lyrics for their nct releases.

- but she can’t even deal with the man’s cheesiness. specially towards renjun.

- recent fan favorite moment: on nct’s field day, there was a clip of yanna chasing yangyang around the area when the members started eating. no explanation given up to this day, because when yangyang was asked about it he just said “which one?” and ten followed with “they’re always fighting, and tell on each other to me.”

・❥・ shotaro

- literally her only possible reaction when facing shotaro is smiling, she can’t even help it.

- “shotaro-kun!”

- literally protects him from anything.

- recent fan favorite moment: during the behind the scene of the universe mv, he couldn’t stop saying how cool yanna’s hair looked and she could only mumble small “stop it”s.

・❥・ sungchan

- about to be bff #4, to be honest. same wavelength.

- he’s so tall and that angers yanna. because she’s older by months.

- sungchan admits he’s closest to yanna these days because the girl reaches out a lot and they have so many great conversations.

- recent fan favorite moment: during a fansign, yanna was asked who her favorite rapper was inside nct excluding taeyong and mark. she immediately said “sungchan.” she explained how his tone was incredible and he knows what attitude to have when he’s doing his lines. while sungchan also mentioned that yanna’s one of his favorite all-round performers. besties, fr.

[allwaswell16]

This is a fic rec of One Direction fics where a character is closeted with a woman or in a relationship with a woman at some point as requested in this ask. You can find my other fic recs here. Please leave kudos and comments for the writers if you enjoy the fics! Happy reading!

-Larry-

Hold You Now by @solvetheminourdreams

(M, 131k, ex-fwb, British Louis, American Harry, PR specialist to freelancer Harry, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, consultant to recruiter Louis, travel, Louis/ofc, slow burn, flashbacks, pining, lack of communication, no cheating, mild smut)

Three years ago, Harry Styles said goodbye to communications consultancy firm McQuiston Worldwide, leaving a life of travel and agency PR behind.

Baby Heaven's in your Eyes by @theboyfriendstagram

(E, 120k, private school, punk Harry, innocent Louis, Louis/Eleanor, drugs, alcohol, first time, smut)

a sixth form!AU where Harry is the fucked up bad boy with too many problems, Louis is the perfect rich boy with too much money and their schools are right across from each other. They meet at a party and that’s the last (and maybe the only) thing they need.

Back From The Edge by sincewewereeighteen

(M, 113k, famous/not famous, famous Harry, not famous Louis, actor Harry, slow burn, closeted Harry, fake relationship, pining, strangers to friends to lovers, falling in love, fluff, sex)

the one in which Harry is a closeted actor who needs to do a PR stunt during his break, only he wasn't counting on falling for his beard's best friend. It gets messy.

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by @kingsofeverything

(E, 109k, cheating au, Louis/ofc, sexuality crisis, beach, surfing, older Larry, divorce, miscommunication, smut)

Louis’ life is steady and calm, moored by his marriage, and tied to his hometown, but after a chance encounter with another man, it’ll never be the same.

somewhere in between lightning by jassy117, nauticalleeds, shiningdistractionwrites / @nauticalleeds

(E, 99k, Love Island au, exes to lovers, reality show, pining, summer, baker Harry, law student Louis, sexual tension, happy ending, smut)

A summer gone wrong (or very right) when, under Liam’s persuasion, Louis finds himself drunkenly applying for Love Island, and getting accepted.

Follow Your Arrow by Anonymous

(E, 78k, high school au, ot5 friendship, multiple povs, Harry/Taylor Swift, Southern au, football star Harry, friends to lovers, coming of age, pining, slow dancing, sexual tension, slow burn, angst, happy ending)

It's senior year and everything is about to change.

That’s What I’m Here For by @taggiecb

(E, 46k, farm au, farmer Louis, older Louis, age difference, boss/employee, small town, sexuality crisis, fluff, angst with a happy ending, grief/mourning, Canada, hurt/comfort, silver fox Louis, demisexuality, smut)

Louis needs help running his business but has no idea where to even start looking.

Secretly Dating by reader_chic_2

(M, 46k, fake/pretend relationship, homophobia, closeting, football player Louis, photographer Harry, fluff, internalized homophobia, smut)

the one where Harry pretends to date Lottie so he can hang out with her brother behind the backs of their homophobic parents and issues eventually arise.

You'll Be My American Boy by @headscarvesandtattoos

(M, 44k, uni au, study abroad student Harry, student Louis, American Harry, Harry has a girlfriend, flirting, angst, cheating, fluff, enemies to friends to lovers, cuddling, smut)

the one where Harry's an American studying abroad in London and Louis ends up showing Harry more than just London

Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining by Phillipa19

(M, 37k, canon, TMH tour, closeting, Louis/Eleanor, infidelity, jealousy, teasing, coming out, smut)

maybe Harry had decided to stop letting Louis run away.

a perpetual sunrise by moonshinelouis

(M, 31k, historical au, 1950s, married Louis, closeted Louis, road trip, internalized homophobia, sexuality awakening, angst, fluff, flirting, happy ending, no smut)

Louis Tomlinson lives the archetype of a successful man: he has a big white house, a gorgeous wife, and adorable daughters.

Up by Thingssicant / @sunflowervolh

(M, 26k, Up au, movie adaptation, old age, homophobia, adventure, fluff, angst, minor character death, happy ending)

Louis Tomlinson thought he had everything he wanted.

Until You Remember by Throwthemflowers

(E, 21k, small town au, teacher Louis, pianist Louis, engaged Harry, Harry/Taylor, amnesia, mythic elements, smut)

Louis thinks his pining is in vain until he discovers that all may not be as it seems....

-Ziam-

BIGB 'verse (series) by Layne Faire (HisDarlin) / @laynefaire

(M, 20k, Zayn/Liam, Zayn/Perrie, canon, closeting, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, smut)

Sometimes, there is no easy option, no right choice.

finally it's our time now by imstephtacular

(M, 7k, Zayn/Liam, dom/sub, dom Zayn, sub Liam, fluff, light angst, emotional sex, smut)

the one where Liam’s a closeted playboy who secretly likes being dominated by Zayn.

[poisonpicked]

ghostofaformerself​ / rayne:

     SILENCE ASIDE she knows what he’s thinking: who did this and why? it’s not a question she can answer, not really. rayne only knows sean is dead and it’s already been made known ( to her ) by the offending party that it’s her fault. she brought this on her friends, on sean, on finn, on wren, on victoria–whatever happens to any of them is her fault. she needs to say something, but she can’t bring herself to.

     rayne lets finn direct her. she’s never been to victoria’s apartment; the two of them aren’t really friends. they only ever hang out because of finn ( and gem before he died ) or wren at this point. they’ve never found common ground, but rayne is always polite and cordial with victoria if only to keep the peace between the whole of their friend group. she doesn’t want to lose them over something stupid and she isn’t going to make them choose. they’d choose victoria anyway–finn is her boyfriend and wren is her brother. rayne’s the odd man out now. she wants to keep them al safe anyway.

     when he mentions being quick as she pulls in the lot, rayne looks at him. ❝are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?❞ she isn’t going to force her presence on finn by any means, but he’s expressed not wanting to be alone already so she just wants to make sure he’s not saying it because he feels like he’d be asking too much. ❝i can park in the visitor area and go up with you.❞

he hesitates. “...could you?” victoria wouldn’t be there, nobody would be. and it’s not like they were doing anything wrong. he didn’t want to be alone; rayne was his friend and he needed the support. “yeah, if you could that, i’d really appreciate it.” he waits until they’re parked in the visitor parking before he gets out and leads her up to victoria’s apartment. 

the apartment was simple and neat, hardly looked lived in. but that was victoria. “my stuff is in her room, if you want to come down the hallway with me.” he was only a few steps into the hallway when the bathroom door opened, and wren came out. 

he was clearly not surprised to see finn there, but when his gaze lands on rayne, he stops. “what are you doing here?” his tone wasn’t angry. it was puzzled. he wasn’t on bad terms with rayne by any means, but he knew that her and victoria weren’t exactly friendly and that victoria would probably have some words about her being here now. 

[lochsides]

Yellow Metal - cathartic Review

Here’s something I did not expect to be reviewing this week but when Zayn drops a 24 minute rap track, you fall in line. I had to listen to it a couple times through before I could even begin to make sense of my thoughts because my brain sort of malfunctioned. I have never been prouder to be a Zayn fan. He’s such a nuanced songwriter and there is so much to unpack here.

I think this is the most unfiltered version of Zayn that we have ever been exposed to (and possibly will ever be). I am grateful that he said his piece in this because it needed to be said. As a brown woman, I felt so seen by this and I cannot explain what that means to me. Thank you Z, for your unvarnished truth in addressing racism and various forms of discrimination.

I’m doing a short lyrical analysis below the cut, but the TLDR is that this is a fantastic piece of art that deserves to be heard.

I wish he had released this as an EP because that would be easier to review than a single 24 minute song, structurally speaking. So instead, I have picked out some key lyrics, going from top to bottom, that really spoke to me and decided to study the song that way. His lyricism is hard-hitting in this track. It is beyond anything he has ever released before.

“The planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving until we ascend so fuck the fence.” — I have not seen this lyric being talked about in the fandom, because the lyrics that follow this steal the show, rightly so, but I wanted to give this line a moment because it’s important too. To me, this lyric speaks to where Zayn is at with his relationship with the physical world. He’s out on the farm (about which he even goes to say “tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor”) and I believe he’s happy in his space and he feels connected to nature (also see River Road). So it is a poignant and slightly jaded, but valid perspective that he shares on climate change. It’s never leaving until we ascend. The damage human beings have done to the planet won’t be undone until there are no humans left to do damage. It’s a single sentence that says so much about the depth of the climate crisis. I’m doing my PhD on urban air quality so this is something I care really deeply about and I resonated with.

“And until they stop killing colour, it’s fuck the feds.” — Yeah, agreed Zayn. The systemic racism that he calls out here is echoed throughout the song, in equal parts anger and boldness. I love that he isn’t glossing over it with metaphors, which he could easily do and it would be beautiful in a totally different way, but this makes it harder for racists to overlook. There is so much power in calling it like it is.

“Never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a Benadryl, keeping it green in general.” — It frustrates me to no end to see Zayn painted as this drug-addicted lazy musician that doesn’t care about his work, because we know how untrue that is. This narrative is tired and simply boring too, and I won’t get into the racist connotations of it when you consider it against his white colleagues who smoke as much as him but that isn’t one of their defining traits in the media.

“I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work … it was hard work that got me heard” — I love the juxtaposition in this verse. The public/media perception on his career is that Zayn doesn’t put in effort or that he doesn’t want it. This obviously stems from his leaving the band. It goes back to what I was saying before about narrative, when in reality, as Zayn has said on various occasions, he fights to make his own choices. And that doesn’t have to look the way everyone else expects it to (“I beg you, don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt”), he has his own struggles that have helped forge his path, but it is his path that he paved, himself. He works hard to be heard. He has to. It reminds me of something my parents used to tell me when I was younger about being immigrants: you have to work 10 times harder for the same opportunities just because of the colour of your skin or your name on the cv. It’s a harsh truth to grow up with but it was my reality, as it is for most POC.

“This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm you. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here ‘til they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80…” — There is something about the simplicity of these lyrics are the messaging that I love. He isn’t trying too hard to sound poetic but he still manages it perfectly.

“All I've been achieving, clocking miles in this region, moving like a legion. Promise that I made to myself, an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving? Staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving. // I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy. It’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on the mike.” — This is the only 1D-related lyric I’ll make reference to because this song is about so much more than that. That said though, we cannot overlook Zayn’s experiences in the band because that is part of his story. The tongue-in-cheek of “I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving” is hilarious to me. The line about not wanting to be his own enemy anymore and growing up from 17 reminds me of that quote Taylor (Swift) mentioned in Miss Americana about celebrities getting stuck at the age they got famous. I think this verse is similar to that. None of them ever wanted to be in the band and I don’t care what anyone says, Zayn leaving and proving success outside the band gave the rest of them the courage to follow their own solo careers. Sure there was drama surrounding the split but he did it for himself, to tell his stories the way he is now. Whatever else you have to say about him, you cannot deny his authenticity.

“I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane.” — I think this line tells us 2 things, the first being that this song was not leaked. Z knew what he was doing and his twitter likes tell us as much. He didn’t release it for any sort of attention, otherwise it would be widely available on streaming platforms and for purchase. Which leads to my second point, he released this song to get everything he talks about on the track off his chest. Its referenced in other lyrics too, like “now you see where I come from, the world don’t.” This was for whoever cared to listen, not the world. It’s inaccessible for a reason. I love that he threw those lyrics in. It makes the song feel more like a private conversation or listening to a friend rant. It creates a different form of intimacy between himself and his fans.

“Lessons that I’ve learned, I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself. So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt.” — This one is for anyone that buys into conspiracy theories surrounding Zayn’s personal life. He surrounds himself with real people, real friendships, real connections. I have never bought into the bullshit that he has zero autonomy over his personal life. I love the use of plastic melting as a metaphor for ridding his life of fakeness.

“Feeling trapped. This industry is a cage.” — Zayn is obviously not the first person to say it. Many artists talk about how suffocating the industry is ( which he further comments on in the sung portion: “I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this”). Fame is such a wild and unnatural concept and the exploitation and politics of the music industry only feed further into it. The industry being a cage makes me think of zoos and how celebrities are animals on display, when they should be free in the wild. I also really like the musical interlude following this part.

“Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views.” — Zayn toes the line between keeping to himself and speaking out on important issues, sometimes not very well. I am his biggest cheerleader, but I’m not up his ass. There have been many occasions where he could’ve done better. But I cannot fault him for being offended by the State because same, Z, same. I love that he took this song as an opportunity to real speak out, no punches pulled.

“See I’ve been facing the racists from back when I were a kiddie. Born up in 93’. Living in Bradford City, they kicked me out of the school. Said they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p***, still sit in the classroom, chilling. I’m angry now that I’m older cause I see they treat us different. Got me thinking I’m the problem ‘cause they never dealt with these issues.” — See what I meant about no punches pulled. He said that! He said it like that too. There is so much in this verse that I relate to, it hits a little too deep. I grew up as a brown in predominantly white communities where the colour of my skin was the reason I was outcasted. We know when that’s happening, clear as day. The lyric “got me thinking that I’m the problem cause they never dealt with these issues” says it all. I have many racial traumas that I’m dealing with as an adult because the adults around me when I was a child didn’t deal with racism in the classroom. They do treat us different!

“20 years later, I’m still in the same boat. Tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for. Man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? // Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them. ‘Boy your skin is so light.’ Ok motherfucker, take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.” — Zayn talking his shit is my new favourite art form. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? Something that I will always be enraged by is that POC are expected to de-escalate situations of racism. We have to push our feelings down, as Zayn says in the verse, because the institution is against us. All of the institutions are against us. The fact that he takes it a step farther to say that his name makes him a target for racism, even though he is half-white just nails his point home. Also, can we please quit the whole ‘Zayn is white-passing’ bullshit. He alludes to it again later in the song (“asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define”). Its not a compliment to erase someone identity in favour of white-washing them.

“My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.” — Oh, the amount of times we have heard that age old (v. racist) saying ‘{celebrity of colour} is the new [insert white celebrity here]’ as if POC aren’t allowed to succeed in their own right. It is wild to me that Zayn has to deal with this given his level of success.

“Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening. I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine.” — There is a subtle nod to racism (and Islamaphobia) in this line, because of course the brown man is a threat, but I like the way Z turns it around. I also like the rhyme scheme.

“Raised on the benefit for whose benefit? They’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.” — Okay I might be reaching here, but this is just my interpretation. We all know the benefit system in the UK sucks. Being raised on benefit implies a lack of money growing up, but the benefits aren’t really all that beneficial to the families that rely upon them.

“Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause I hit the nerve.” — Well, okay then, just call me out. It’s fine. I seriously feel like he’s talking to me directly with this line. I imagine a lot of us do. Its one of those lyrics that are a bit too honest but that why we love them.

“Cathartic, I’m an artist. Trying to put my heart in” // “Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name.” — So do we have an alternate persona for Zayn now? Alright, I’m down. I think these two lines are tied together, because both are mentioned in the song title. (I think of the song as cathartic, by Yellow Metal, aka Zayn, or Yellow Metal as the name of the EP if this was officially released). The lyrics that accompany both title lyrics, along with the subject matter of the song as a whole, suggest that his heart is in standing up against injustices. I said it earlier, this is the most unvarnished version of Z that we have ever been exposed to. Almost like the complete picture to the puzzle pieces we’ve been putting together over the years.

“They’re tryna kill us with disease.” — Why did this line scream out ‘COVID-19 outbreaks in developing countries’ to me? Again, I might be reaching, but there is a disparity between how COVID is treated amongst minorities, along with many other diseases, and not to mention rich, primarily white countries hoarding vaccine supplies while places like India (and my beautiful Bangladesh and I’m sure Pakistan too) suffer needlessly.

“Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next. Just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around ’til I’m the best.” — I think this lyric shows off Zayn’s sentimental side more than it does his ambitious side, because we know he’s in this for the long haul. Others may doubt that but his fans never have. But hearing him talk openly about being a father on a song is something else. It’s like Khai added this whole other layer of meaning and purpose to his life and it’s beautiful to watch. I’ve been here since the X-Factor auditions guys!! It makes me so emotional to witness him like this.

“Aint many of me around, p***, I’m just different. Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil, fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto.” — God, we’ve been waiting for a fuck the label moment in this house, haven’t we? I won’t get into my theories on his label or his team, but none of us deny the fact that they should be doing more for him than they are. He has the potential to be the biggest thing with the right team and promo because he has a built-in fan base that would go the mile for him. Obviously, there’s also his aversion to promo to contend with and that’s his decision. Even without it, he could shatter every ceiling. Another thing I want to mention about this verse is the nod to the complete lack of South Asian representation in contemporary Western media.

“Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse.” — I’m just putting this in here because it made giggle. Also going to take this space to say how much I love his energy in this song. He knows he’s the shit, as he should!

“Can’t be louder … so free Gaza on my banner.” // “They’re hating on Palestine ways.” — I love that Zayn has always supported this movement, years ago, before being ‘woke’ was a thing. But now, he has a daughter that has Palestinian heritage and I’m sure that makes this hit that much deeper for him, personally. The apartheid in Palestine is heart-wrenching. It’s so strange to me to watch it happen, because I never thought I would witness something like this happening in 2021, yet here we are.

“Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing. We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route. Say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown. I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.” — This verse is straight up savage and I am living for it! I find it hilarious that he called Biden a snake. This verse addresses the truth about politics, that even electing a left-wing leader doesn’t fix the system.

“I’m Tony Stark, still embarking on a dream” // “Gone green like Bruce Banner” // “He taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten.” — And to tie it all off, I wanted to take a goofy moment to mention all the superhero lyrics Z added in this song, really showing his personality because I’m such a nerd when it comes to this stuff and it makes me wish that we were friends so I could annoy him to death about it.