#( pair/ charlotte & jackson. )

[blcssom]

closed for @caeruleums continued from here

her breathless laugh gives way to something far more reminiscent of a whine as he guides her fingers around the physical manifestation of his excitement. her other hand drops so that both sets of fingers can get to work on unzipping his trousers, and then her hand slips past the waistband of his boxers a little more greedily, closing around his length in a way she's only ever imagined. "wow.... flattered doesn't even begin to cover it." she's damn near bashful as she lifts her eyes to his while skillful fingers graze up and down slowly. "i can't believe all the rumors i had to hear about you in school were true, that's so annoying." annoying and exciting. and intimidating more than anything."

[blcssom]

"i just think it's a little deceptive is all!" she isn't surprised that he sees his actions as altruistic. they came from a good place, after all. but having grown up in a family of smoke and mirrors, the idea that she could bring someone into her circle and have them hide things from her, even if it was for her benefit, makes her stomach churn. "like... how do people know when you're doing something for them or agreeing with them because you really feel that was as opposed to doing it just because you want them to feel good? or because you want them to associate that good feeling with you?" still, this is the most interesting conversation she's had so far the entire trip, and she doesn't intend to back down from his challenge. "mostly, but not always. sometimes i'm snippy with them, because i'm not having a good day or they specifically have annoyed me.... but those are my honest feelings, even if they're uncomfortable. i think if someone would rather me bite my tongue and force a smile to keep the peace than be honest, even if they don't like what i have to say..... then they're not really my friend, are they?" her head tilted as he spoke, listening intently. "look, i don't think you're a bad guy. i think you're generous and kind, and you clearly care about making people happy⸺ but if i can't have radical honesty from the people around me then, frankly, i'm just not interested." but he's not entirely wrong on all counts. "but, you're right. if it were between you and sabrina's soon-to-be convict boyfriend, you would make the much better friend."

"how would me pleasing people be dangerous for you?" he questioned, mildly flirtatiously but almost laughing at the suggestion. never once had someone challenged the fact that he was a good guy, normally doing what was in everyone's best interests. it was sort of a drug for him, to be the man everyone relied on. to be his parents obvious favourite. to swoop in to comfort his little brother's ex girlfriends a little too closely. his good looks got him everything he wanted, except for himself to be intellectually challenged. and charlotte gave him that, each and every time they were together. "from what i know, and what i've been told growing up... a good friend does things for their friends. are you not nice to your friends?" he looked her over a bit more seriously, and then shrugged his shoulders. "you have this preconceived notion of me, which is frankly unfair and extremely judgmental. based on what, lottie? what have i ever done to you or anyone that you know that makes you want to steer clear of me?" he shook his head. "there are thousands of people out there that would be way worse friends to have than me. in fact, i think sabrina's boyfriend josh is one of them."

[itsnevercasual]

Look Into His Angel Eyes

pairing: harry styles x zoologist!youtuber!reader

summary: harry takes his niece to the san diego zoo, and you just so happen to take care of the animal she’s obsessed with. koalas.

warnings: zero knowledge of zoology LMAO, not edited, a few curse words

—

harry had expected a lot more fuss when he went to a very famous, very popular zoo. he expected at least someone — one person! — to notice him or recognize him.

nobody had even given him a second glass.

those kids movies were right. change your har (put on a beanie) and wear sunglasses (because even if it was a little chilly, it was bright), and you were a whole different person!

well, until gemma’s little girl, rosie, who was usually a gem and the best kid ever, started crying. over what, you may ask?

she demanded they find the koalas.

granted, she was only five, but.. he was still worried people would see him and recognize him.

when he had graciously offered to drive rosie to san diego to go to the zoo because gemma simply didn’t have the time, he forgot it was a public, normal people zoo.

so, he asked someone where the koalas were (and then four more people after that on the way there, all of which informed him that he better hurry if he wanted to catch the koala talk, which was supposedly a big hit for some reason), and made his way to the other side of the zoo.

who the hell made this place so big?

—

you’d been living in san diego for five years, since you were eighteen. you’d been working with the koalas at the san diego zoo for that same amount of time.

18 and fresh out of high school, you moved far, far away from your horrible hometown and even more horrible people, and went to san diego to both go to college for zoology and work your dream job.

well, technically, it was an internship at first, but still!

like most little girls, you were obsessed with animals. however, instead of dogs or some other basic animal (though, koalas are still pretty basic, you suppose), you were obsessed with koalas. and then, it never went away.

your mother tried anything to talk you out of it, into a safer career path, she’d say. more secure.

well, fuck secure because you were about to go talk to little kids who were just like you when you were younger and feed a baby koala.

you had also started a successful side career as a youtuber. you made regular videos like vlogs and hauls and whatnot, and also educational videos about koalas. some of your vlogs were at work, such as today.

“so.. we have jess here to record as i do a koala talk. and.. it is officially 1:30, so let’s go!” you exclaim, handing your coworker, jess, the camera.

you pushed open the door (more like gate) and walked out. there was a fairly large crowd today, including the cutest little girl with a pink dress on right in the front row.

you set the crate (don’t yell, it’s a big crate. and it’s simply to take them from their exhibit to the talk area, which is a distance of maybe 50 feet) down on the wooden table.

the talk area was pretty much their enclosure, but instead of a glass wall, it was open and the kids could see better.

you opened the crate and slowly coaxed the bears out. you’d only brought two today. mila, and her baby charlotte (you always called her charlie, though).

once they were out and climbing on the branches, you turned to the crowd.

“hi, guys! my name is y/n, and i’m basically in charge of the koalas here! who here has been to one of my talks before?”

a few hands raise.

“good! well, today, we have a new guest… who remembers what was happening with mila last talk? was anyone there?”

one little boy raised his hand.

“yes, the.. little boy in a blue shirt?”

“jackson!” he told you.

“jackson, sorry. what was going on with mila? for everyone who doesn’t know, mila is that big one right there.”

“she was— she had a baby in her tummy.”

“she did!” you respond enthusiastically. “and a few months ago.. four months ago, actually, she had her baby! who wants to meet her?”

all the little kids screamed me! me! me!

you laughed, “alright, let me grab her.”

you walked over to mila, petting her head as you slowly took charlie away.

“hey, mila.. can i take her real quick?” you ask as if she can hear you, before speaking to the crowd. “mila and i have a special bond, if you ask me. she had her baby right around the time i had mine. so we are both new mothers,” you laugh. “but, anyway! i’ve been with mila since she got here, so she really trusts me. which is why i can easily just..”

you grabbed charlie off of mila, and put her on her shoulder like you did your baby.

“so, everyone, this is charlotte, but i call her charlie! now, i have a very special job for one of you.. but i need someone who will be very careful, because charlie is still a delicate baby.. can anyone hold her for me while i feed her?”

and finally, the adorable little girl interacted. she started jumping and raised her hand.

you walked over to the fence separating you from the crowd, crouching to be eye level with her. “and who might you be?”

“rosie!” she responded. and oh, she had a baby voice and she was british.

“rosie! well, do you think you can hold her for me?”

“yes! yes, please!”

“alright, we’ll get you and dad back here—“

“ehm.. uncle..” her uncle, not father, responded in a british accent.

“oh, sorry! you and your uncle back here. and what’s your name, rosie’s uncle?”

he hesitated, before— “harry.”

your brain slowly put two and two together as you glanced at his tattoos.

harry styles.

“oh, i see,” you respond, “well, let’s get you guys back here!”

you opened the gate they were thankfully standing right in front of, and they walked into the talking area before you shut the gate.

you led rosie to the center, crouching down to her again.

“alright, we’re gonna do this in a funny way. can you stick out your arm for me?”

she did.

“i’m gonna put charlie on your arm, alright? she’s gonna wrap herself around it, and her claws might scratch you, but it’s fine, yeah?”

“yes, ma’am!”

“aw, you’re so polite. alright.. charlie incoming!”

you slowly adjusted charlie to curl around rosie’s arm.

“it tickles!” she squeals with a laugh.

“yeah?” both you and harry — harry styles — respond at the same time.

“alright, i’m gonna grab her bottle! stay here!”

you ran over to grab it, and while you were shaking it so it was ready, you felt something wrap around your leg.

“hi, mila!” you exclaim to the koala wrapped around you.

you carefully walk back over.

“i’m gonna feed her for a minute, and then i’ll let you and your uncle try, yeah?”

“okay!”

you started feeding charlie as you spoke again.

“so, the reason we feed charlie instead of having her feed from her momma, who is clinging to my leg, is because charlie was born a little early and needs a little more nutrients!”

you talked a little more about koalas and their behavior before rosie wanted to feed her. and after a few minutes of that, you glanced to harry.

“you wanna give it a go?”

“sure, why not,” he shrugs.

“charlie seems pretty cozy.. so, i’ll give you mila. she’s a little heavy, though.”

you bent over and took mila off your leg, handing her over to harry.

“hold her like a baby on your hip.. it’s kinda like a.. odd hug! a koala hug, if you will. i’ll grab her bottle.”

you ran over, and when harry began feeding her after you returned, he asked a question.

“so.. why do y’feed mila? i know charlie’s a baby and all, but..”

“that’s a very good question! so, mila is getting a little old, and she was also brought to us injured. that, paired with giving birth four months ago, we just have to give her some more electrolytes… her bottle is actually just white gatorade. we tried green, but she hates it. she’s very picky.”

“well, that’s cause y’gave her green.”

“hey! who has the degree here? yeah, shush.”

“yes, ma’am,” he laughed.

—

once the talk was over, you told rosie and harry to stay back.

you let charlie and mila climb about the branches while you spoke to them.

“i just want to make sure you both are alright with being in a video.. also, you need to wash your hands.. jess should be back with the sanitizer soon.”

“can i ask what video?”

“oh! right, sorry. i’m a youtuber, and i sometimes film my talks to publish and whatnot. i’ll blur your faces, of course. i blur everyone in the crowd’s faces for privacy reasons, but i figured you’d be.. more.. concerned about that than most.”

“you know?”

“i mean.. voice is a giveaway.. i also follow gemma’s instagram, so i recognized rosie,” you shrug. “but anyways, you’re good with the video?”

“yeah, of course.”

you then turned to rosie to answer her bajillion questions about koalas until jess came back with the hand sanitizer.

“so, just use a lot of this, and you’ll be good,” you explain, putting a few pumps into each of their hands.

once they were all clean of koala germs, you told them they were free to go.

rosie ran forward, but harry lingered.

“thank you,”

“oh, yeah. of course. i figured you wouldn’t want koala germs—“

“no, i mean thanks for giving rosie that opportunity.”

“oh! of course. i love seeing little kids who love them as much as me.”

“she’s bloody obsessed with the things.”

“mm, yeah. they’re easy to love. word of advice, don’t shoot her love for them down. it doesn’t exactly work. i mean.. look at me,” you laugh.

“i will keep that in mind,” he smilez. “what was your name again?”

“y/n.. y/n l/n.”

—

a/n: enjoy

[cinnamongorll]

a fragile line - chapter 35

read on ao3! (166k words) | previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC

Series tags: extreme slow burn, age gap, older man/younger woman, protective joel, jealous joel, hurt/comfort, pov third person, mutual pining, angst, sexual tension, friends to lovers, canon-typical violence, feral joel, parental abuse, eventual smut.

Series synopsis: three years ago, Juliet escaped her father's religious survivor camp, ending up in the Boston QZ. Juliet created a life for herself in Boston, desperate to forget the trauma of her upbringing. One day, Juliet arrives home to find a mysterious letter which forces her to return to her home town. Juliet can't travel the harsh post-apocalyptic landscape alone, so she enlists the help of the grumpy and, at times, frightening man she works alongside: Joel Miller.

Word count: 9.2k

Ethan’s POV:

The night of the dance

The scream rang through the hall, halting the music and momentarily stopping the hearts of every one of Jackson’s residents.

Juliet was out of her seat before Ethan realised what had happened. 

He turned to Charlotte, matching her wide eye stare with his own and they quickly stood, following the direction of the scream. Ethan went first, pushing through the crowd, his fingers latched around Charlotte’s hand as she stumbled behind him.

Through the crowd, Ethan saw flashes of Juliet’s red dress as she staggered to a stop only a few feet away from the source of all the morbid excitement.

“It’s Matt, he’s hurt!” Ethan turned and shouted to Charlotte once he realised, raising his voice over the chatter and gasps around him. 

When he turned back, Ethan watched as Juliet’s head shot up in the direction of the mess hall’s back door and he followed her gaze, just managing to catch the sight of Tommy pushing Joel out into the cold. 

He looked down at Matt again and made the connection. Joel’s anger had found another victim. 

Ethan tried to push through the crowd again but it was too late, Juliet had taken off in the direction of the door, following Tommy and Joel outside.

He stood paralysed. Follow Juliet or help Matt?

Charlotte made the decision for him, nudging past him until she bent down next to Matt, her skilled fingers reaching for his bloody nose. When she realised that Ethan hadn’t followed, she blinked up at him, gesturing with a tilt of her head to come help. 

Ethan looked towards the door and saw Tommy walk back through… surely Tommy wouldn’t leave Joel alone with Juliet if he was going to hurt her? 

“Ethan, come on!” Charlotte urged. Everyone at the bar turned to look at him, then moved back to let him past. 

Ethan’s eyes darted towards the door one more time and then he sighed, shook his head, and crouched down beside Charlotte, ready to follow her instructions.

A few minutes later, they had managed to determine that Matt’s nose was broken, and through a short conversation, Matt was able to tell them three things: Yes, his nose hurt like a bitch. No, he hadn’t said a damn thing to Joel, and finally, Joel was a dick. 

Ethan said nothing to disagree with that last statement.

There wasn’t much they could do for Matt until they got him to the clinic. With their hands gripping his arms, they managed to get him up on a bar stool and Charlotte put a towel under his nose and tilted his head up to stop the blood flow. Charlotte moved on to convincing Matt to come to the clinic but either Matt was too drunk or too hellbent on revenge because he kept refusing and shouting at anyone who could hear him to find Joel.

Ethan began to massage the tension out of his neck as his eyes drifted to the door again. 

What if Juliet needed his help?  

He tapped Charlotte’s shoulder, pulling her attention away from Matt. “I’m gonna go find Juliet,” he whispered, trying his best not to let Matt hear. 

Charlotte’s eyebrows furrowed as she blinked up at him, then slowly she nodded. 

“I'll be back in a minute,” he said louder, to both of them, and then he turned and began to stride towards the back door. 

As he reached for the handle, the band started back up and the crowd’s cheer masked the screech of the door’s hinges as it opened into the dark, cold night. 

Ethan steeled himself as he stepped out into the bitter chill, using the light from the mess hall to walk down the first couple steps and look around, searching through narrow eyes for Joel or Juliet. 

It didn’t take him long to notice their figures against the wall across the dark alleyway. 

He froze. Were they fighting or…?   

Ethan felt the effects of the many drinks he had consumed as he waited in his position in the shadows, listening for any trouble. His surroundings were blurry and he began to feel strange, like he shouldn’t be out here, but he still hadn’t confirmed if Juliet was okay. 

Soon, he heard bits and pieces of their conversation and his spine straightened. 

“You’re mine,” Joel murmured in his typical dark gravelly tone. His voice was muffled as he leaned his face into Juliet’s neck, and his hands roamed down her dress. 

Ethan flinched, taking a step back as the blow hit him. 

He looked away as Juliet began to pull him against her, making those soft noises in the back of her throat that he’d only heard once or twice. 

Clenching his jaw, Ethan realised he’d seen enough and he headed back up the steps to the door as Joel and Juliet continued to whisper their devotion to each other.

He pried the door open just as a group of drunk farming workers spilled out, singing and cheering. Ethan didn’t look back as he found his way inside.

The hot air hit him and Ethan breathed in a gulp of air. 

Juliet was okay. More than okay.

He ran a hand through his air and turned around, unsure where to go, unsure what to do, unsure what emotion he was feeling.

Joel had left Juliet, rejected her, ignored her for months. Ethan was there to pick up the pieces, to run down the hall in the middle of the night when she woke up screaming for him, when she couldn’t face looking at herself in the mirror, when she was terrified to walk past his house. 

Ethan was there, and what was Joel doing? Watching her from a distance, reminding her of the hurt, giving her hope then taking it away.

He didn’t know what had happened in the time they spent on the road, but Ethan saw the way Juliet looked at Joel… like he’d hung the moon.

There wasn’t room for him in Juliet’s mind or heart anymore. 

Ethan shook his head, clearing those thoughts away. He didn’t care about that anymore, they were friends, great friends. Juliet was the only person in the entire world who knew what it was like to grow up the way they did. 

So, no, as Ethan watched Joel and Juliet outside, jealousy wasn’t the emotion he was feeling… It was more like anger. 

He was angry at Joel for throwing her away and then, now, for forcing himself back into her life. Juliet was happy without him, she had him and Charlotte and Matt. She had a life now, she didn’t need him anymore.

“You’re mine,” Joel had said to her. 

Did Juliet feel the same way? Was this devotion mutual?  

“Ethan? You alright?” 

He looked up, blinking away the confusion that swirled in his head to find Tommy staring at him with a questioning look.

“Yeah,” Ethan coughed out, running a hand over his forehead, then crossing his arms.

Tommy shifted on his feet, inching towards the door. “Hey, thanks for getting to Matt so quick,” he said, then looked to the side, “I had to -”

“Get Joel out? Yeah I saw,” Ethan revealed, looking down. “It’s Charlotte you should be thanking, though.”

Tommy laughed. “Don’t worry, she’s already taken credit for the rescue,” he reassured Ethan as his smile began to die on his lips.

Ethan didn’t respond, he was too busy processing.

“Anyways,” Tommy cut through the silence, rubbing his hands together as he took a step towards the door. “I gotta go check on my brother.”

Ethan stopped him with a hand on his chest and Tommy’s arm froze on its way to the handle.

“I wouldn’t go out there,” he warned Tommy, then stepped back and began rubbing the back of his neck again in his typical nervous gesture.

Tommy looked alarmed and his eyes narrowed as he looked towards the door. “Why not?” he questioned. 

Ethan scratched his neck again. “I think Joel and Juliet have made up.”

Tommy looked confused for a moment, then understanding painted his face and his shoulders dropped.

“Oh,” he breathed, looking away.

“Yeah,” Ethan said, filling the silence. Then he turned towards the bar, squinting to see if Charlotte was still there with Matt. “I’m gonna go see if -”

“I think it was my fault,” Tommy said quietly, cutting Ethan off.

Ethan straightened, frowning as his eyes found Tommy’s and saw the remorse that swam within them.

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

Tommy raised his head to the ceiling then crossed his arms and gestured towards the door. “I mean I think I was the one who split them apart… no, I - ah know it was me.”

Ethan waited for Tommy to explain himself, too curious now to let it go.

“Before Joel came to town I hadn’t seen him in years and when I left him, things weren’t good,” Tommy started explaining. “We did things to survive, terrible things -” he paused to shake his head. “It was too much for me and I left, but Joel stayed. It was easier for him to separate himself from the things we were doin’.”

Ethan remembered seeing Joel for the first time in Danny’s bar, sitting hunched over the bartop with a glass of whiskey. He remembered thinking he was an easy target. Ethan flinched when the memory of Joel slamming him against the wall came into his head.

He also remembered the fear that poured out of Joel when he realised Juliet was in danger.

“So when he came back here, I - I thought the worst. I looked at him and Juliet and I was terrified for her, I knew what my brother was like, I knew how easily he hurt people,” Tommy paused and met Ethan’s eyes. “I didn’t even give him a chance.” 

Ethan didn’t know what to say but he felt the sorrow pouring out of Tommy. 

“I can’t say I trust your brother,” Ethan said cautiously, “I can’t even say I like him.”

Tommy coughed out a laugh and raised his eyebrows.

Ethan flexed his hands. “But I was there when he found Juliet,” he said, his voice cracking on the last few words. 

Tommy’s eyes flashed to his.

“Joel… Joel saved her when I couldn’t,” Ethan took a deep breath. “He did those terrible, awful things you mentioned but he still saved her… I think he’d do anything for her.”

Tommy nodded solemnly. “He loves her.”

Ethan winced and scratched his neck. Then, reluctantly, he nodded in agreement. 

They both stood for a moment and let the words hang between them. Both men accepting that the people they loved might not be who they thought they were… and that was okay.

A bottle smashed by the bar and Ethan and Tommy’s head’s swung towards the sound.

“Shit,” Tommy cursed, then looked at Ethan, “I better go deal with this.”

Ethan’s lips pulled into a polite smile that didn’t reach his eyes, then he straightened when he spotted Charlotte with Matt’s arm over her shoulder as she tried to usher him out the main entrance. 

“And I better go help Charlotte,” Ethan murmured. 

Tommy patted his back as they walked past each other, heading in opposite directions. 

Ethan didn’t look back at the door as he walked away. Juliet was with Joel and Ethan knew that he’d protect her from anything this world threw at her. 

He just hoped that Juliet knew how to protect herself from Joel.

…………………………..

It was the middle of the night before Ethan stumbled back home.

Joel had done a number on Matt’s face and it took a while to set his nose. Charlotte let Ethan take the lead on this one, but he assumed it was more due to the fact that she was exhausted rather than her assurance of his competency as a medic. 

Ethan cringed at the door hinges as he tried to creep into the house, worried that he might wake Juliet. But that worry was soon eased when he realised she wasn’t home. She had been, he realised, as her bedroom light was on and when Ethan cautiously pushed her door open he found her red dress thrown over her bed as though she’d taken it off in a rush. 

He closed the door quickly. 

Ethan realised that she must be at Joel’s as he’d seen the lights were on when walking past.

They didn’t waste any time, Ethan thought with a grimace.

When he got to his own room, the exhaustion from the night finally hit him and Ethan collapsed on his bed, sleep taking him quickly.

………………………

A groan left his lips when his eyes finally opened.

It was so bright outside. Ethan threw an arm over his head and tried to go back to sleep but confusion gripped him tight.

Why was it so bright? It was never usually this bright in the morn -  

“Shit,” he exclaimed when he realised he was late, very very late for his shift at the clinic.

Ethan jumped in the shower, braving the cold water as he had no time to wait for it to heat up. Within ten minutes, he was washed, dressed and out the door into the cold with soaking wet hair. 

He stumbled past Joel’s house with guilt weighing heavy on his chest as he didn’t have time to check on Juliet. He was sure she was okay though, why wouldn’t she be?

“Look who decided to show up!” Charlotte sang when he walked into the clinic, shivering from the cold and heading straight for the fire. 

“Sorry,” he murmured as he fanned his hands over the flames, soaking up the heat. 

“That’s okay,” Charlotte sighed as she walked over to him and leant on the side of the wall with her arms crossed. “I’ll just have to dock your pay.”

Ethan grinned and moved away from the fire, then stalked down the hall with Charlotte following. “You don’t pay me,” he called over his shoulder as he reached the room where he kept his makeshift scrubs. 

Charlotte paused in the entryway while Ethan shrugged off his coat.

“I don’t?” she exclaimed in mock horror, clasping a hand over her chest. “You should talk to your union.”

Ethan’s mouth curled into a grin as he hung his coat on the hanger.

“Maybe… you’ll have to make it up to me another way then,” Charlotte declared, her voice quieter without the edge of humour.

Ethan’s eyes flashed to hers, his hand paused on the edge of his flannel.

It had been like this between them for a while now, walking that edge between friends and something more. They hadn’t crossed it yet, but it was moments like this that pushed Ethan into thinking he definitely should.

His mouth opened to respond, but was swiftly interrupted by the sound of the clinic door slamming shut and a voice calling through the building: “Ethan, you in here?”

Charlotte and Ethan looked at each other, then darted back to the main reception area.

“Tommy? Everything okay?” Charlotte asked as they stopped in front of him.

Tommy smiled softly at Charlotte but his mouth thinned when his eyes found Ethan.

“What is it?” he asked, worry seeping into his voice.

Tommy shifted on his feet. “I’ve sent Joel and Juliet on a patrol, they’ll be away for at least a few weeks,” he announced in a monotone voice.

“What?” Charlotte and Ethan said together. 

Ethan looked to Charlotte to make sure she was hearing this too.

“What do you mean ‘sent them on a patrol’? A patrol where?” Ethan demanded, standing straighter.

Tommy looked behind him as though he were debating leaving. “Just this town that needs clearin’, the boys on patrol have been making noise about it for a while now. Seemed like the right time.”

“Let me get this straight,” Charlotte began, crossing her arms over her chest. “You decided that the morning after Joel went insane and broke Matt’s nose for no reason was the ‘right time’ to be sending him on an important patrol and you’re letting him take Juliet with him, the girl he’s been ignoring for the past couple months?”

Ethan’s mouth fell open as he looked between Charlotte and Tommy.

Charlotte’s right. This makes no sense.  

“I’ll go talk to Juliet, this is insane,” Ethan murmured as he moved to push past Tommy.

He was stopped with a hand on his chest.

Ethan glanced up at him and felt his stomach drop when he noticed the look on his face. 

“They’re already gone,” Tommy breathed, looking everywhere other than Ethan’s eyes.

What? 

“She left?” Ethan asked, desperately seeking clarification. Desperately hoping there’s been some mistake.

Tommy nodded.

“Juliet wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye,” Charlotte declared from behind them.

Ethan’s eyes closed and he took a deep breath.

“Thanks for letting us know, Tommy,” he said in an even tone.

Tommy looked between them, nodded, then left. Ethan flinched when the wind slammed the door shut. 

“Ethan what the hell?” Charlotte argued, striding up to him. “Juliet wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye, this isn’t right.”

Ethan shook his head. “She would,” he said quietly.

This made Charlotte pause, and she stepped back and sat down in the armchair by the fire. She looked defeated and confused, as though she was only now realising that she maybe didn’t know her friend as well as she thought she did. 

Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. “She would leave without saying goodbye,” he repeated as the thoughts churned around in his head. “But only if she was trying to protect us from something, like she felt it would be safer if we didn’t know.”

Charlotte’s head shot up. “Protect us from what?”

Ethan dropped into the seat opposite her, barely feeling the heat from the fire as he tried to figure out what was going on. “I have no idea,” he eventually answered, defeated.

Charlotte bent forward, placing her elbows on her knees. “Did you see her leave last night?” 

Ethan nodded, winced, then questioned how much he should say. “When I went to find her, I saw her outside with Joel…” 

“You’re kidding,” Charlotte exclaimed.

Ethan dropped his head into his hands. “They looked happy, I don’t understand why… why she would need to leave.”

“And she didn’t come home last night?” Charlotte questioned, interrogating him.

“No,” he assured her, then paused, lifting his head. “Well she wasn’t there when I got home but her dress was, so she’d been there at some point.”

“We need to check the house,” Charlotte decided, standing quickly.

Just then, the door opened and brought forth a sudden gust of ice cold wind, forcing a shiver onto Ethan’s skin. 

Matt walked in, slamming the door behind him, then he turned and pulled down his hood revealing the horrific bruise Joel left behind.

He looked at Ethan, slouched over in the chair, then at Charlotte, standing over him.

“Who died?” he asked, reaching to grab some food left on the counter.

Ethan looked up at Charlotte, unsure whether to send him away or to let him know what was happening.

Charlotte made the decision for them. 

“Juliet’s just been sent on a month-long patrol, did you know about this?” she questioned, crossing her arms over her chest again. 

Matt nearly dropped the handful of nuts in his hand. 

“She’s what?!” he practically shouted.

Ethan stood, moving to linger behind Charlotte, who turned to him with her eyebrows raised.

“So her patrol partner didn’t even know about this,” Charlotte observed as Ethan clenched and unclenched his fists.

Matt went to rub his forehead, then winced and dropped his hand. “Who approved this? Is she by herself?” he asked quickly, his voice thick with concern. 

Ethan glanced at Charlotte, then straightened his shoulders.

“Tommy just told us,” he answered, then paused and took a deep breath. “She’s with Joel.”

Matt’s mouth dropped open, then he quickly wiped the shock off his face, swallowed rough and shook his head. “No, Juliet wouldn’t go with that psychopath.”

Charlotte’s sharp eyes cut to Ethan. Matt didn’t miss the movement.

Matt, exacerbated, raised his hands in the air. “What am I missing here?”

Ethan was panicking now. The shock had begun to fade as an almost debilitating fear for his friend overpowered him. Something wasn’t right here, and he had to figure out what it was.

Ignoring the piercing look from his friends, Ethan walked down the hall and grabbed his coat, pushing his arms through the sleeves hard enough to stretch the fabric.

Then, when he made it back to the reception area, he pushed past Matt to the door, turning momentarily as his fingers met the handle.

“I’m going back to the house to try and figure this out,” he announced, then pulled the door open, blinking away the flurries of snow as they met his eyelashes.

Charlotte was darting after him, shrugging her own jacket on, before he had even made it down the porch steps. 

From behind them, Ethan heard Matt curse and follow after them into the snow.

………………….

“Matt, check upstairs. Me and Ethan will search downstairs,” Charlotte ordered the second they all stepped through the doorway of his house, trailing melted snow on the floorboards.

Matt’s head raised towards the stairs, then back at Charlotte. “What the hell am I looking for here?” he bit out, a muscle jumping in his tight jaw. 

But Charlotte wasn’t listening, she’d already stalked down the hall, her eyes glued to every surface, searching for any clues Juliet left behind on her short visit home last night.

Ethan sighed and turned to Matt. “Just look for anything out of the ordinary, anything that makes you think Juliet wasn’t planning to leave.”

“You think she was forced into this?” he demanded, eyes wide.

Fear struck Ethan hard and fast, almost knocking him over. 

“I don’t know what to think,” he snapped, then took a slow breath. Matt was just worried, like him. “Let’s just see what we find, okay?” Ethan murmured and patted Matt on the shoulder as he walked past, following Charlotte. 

Matt nodded then started up the stairs with slow, heavy, weighted steps. 

Ethan wiped a hand over his face, attempting to clear his head, attempting to put himself in Juliet’s mind. Why would she leave so suddenly? Without even telling him?  

He shouldn’t be surprised, though. This was a typical Juliet move: fierce avoidance. 

“What if… she just wanted to get out of town,” he wondered aloud, “what if life here wasn’t what she thought it’d be like?” 

Charlotte’s eyes darted to him, and she shook her head. “I don’t buy it. Did you see her last night? She looked happier than I’ve ever seen her.” 

Ethan dropped his head. “Yeah,” he muttered, blinking away the memories of a younger Juliet with hollow eyes and dark bruised skin  

He went to take another step down the hall then stopped, frozen in place as his eyes latched on a dark spot on the floorboard.

“Charlotte, come see this,” he blurted out. 

“What is it?” she asked, alarmed as she looked down at his bent position on the floor. 

Ethan pointed his finger towards the black spot. “Is this blood?” he asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

Charlotte’s sharp intake of breath confirmed his suspicions. She bent beside him, then she pointed to an almost identical spot a few inches away.

“There’s more,” she gasped and stood, following the trail.

Dizziness hit Ethan hard and fast as he stood. He reached out a hand to stabilise himself on the wall, remaining there, watching Charlotte take slow, careful steps down the hall.

Then she stopped and turned back to him.

“It ends here,” Charlotte said under her breath, defeat seeping into her tone as she glanced at the door she stood beside.

The basement. 

Ethan’s vision flashed white and he pushed himself off the wall. 

“Ethan?” she said, blinking up at him as he stopped in front of her, scanning the small pool of smudged blood that lay beside the basement door. 

Juliet went down to the basement… why? 

Without thinking, Ethan gripped the door handle and pushed it open, descending quickly down the rickety stairs, not even bothering to find a light switch. 

“Ethan! Wait - what’s going on?” Charlotte called after him. 

When he reached the bottom, Ethan was hit by the memory that painted the insides of his eyelids on too many dark nights to count: Juliet, head rolled back, blood coating her torso, Elijah standing over her.

Nausea flooded through him.

If this was his reaction to the basement… he couldn’t imagine what Juliet must have felt. 

“Ethan, please, what’s wrong?” Charlotte said softly, touching his shoulder.

Ethan flinched off her touch, then squeezed his eyes shut and inhaled several deep shaky breaths.

When he opened his eyes, Charlotte stood on the stairs, looking down at him with a mixture of hurt and worry. 

“She was down here,” Ethan revealed, confirming his suspicions further when Charlotte's eyes glanced down at the continuing trail of blood.

“What does this mean?” she asked, eyes wide. 

Ethan took another look into the basement before he answered, clenching his fists hard.

“It means we were right,” he stated, his voice hard. “Juliet isn’t on a patrol.”

Charlotte ran her trembling fingers through her hair, then straightened, probably already making a plan in her head.

“Where is she then?” Charlotte prompted, gripping the railing tight. 

Ethan looked up and saw the fear in his friend’s face. It was an expression that was permanently etched on his own features when Ethan lived in Elijah’s town and was forced to watch as Juliet’s father hacked away at her soul day after day, wondering if a time would come when there was no goodness left in Juliet at all.

“I -” Ethan stuttered as the memories overwhelmed him. He swallowed and tried again, looking up at Charlotte. “I think she’s gone back.”

“Back where?” Charlotte demanded breathlessly. She was getting frustrated, and he understood. But how could he explain what they’d gone through?

Ethan looked back into the darkness of the basement. 

“Home,” he whispered. 

……………………

“This makes no sense,” Matt argued as the three of them raced to the mess hall, where they knew Tommy would be. “If that place was so bad, why would she want to go back there?” he continued. 

Charlotte’s hard gaze landed on Ethan, waiting for an answer. But Ethan didn’t have one.

He focused on the sound of the snow crunching under their feet, trying desperately to formulate some response. 

“Listen,” he started, “I don’t know… But being in that basement must have triggered something in Juliet,” Ethan tried to explain. “She was unconscious when we found her, and when Joel killed Eilijah. Maybe she felt she had to go back to confront things… I don’t know.” He shook his head again, frustrated by his own confusion.

“This is my fault,” Charlotte murmured beside him.

Ethan’s steps slowed, and he reached out to graze the back of Charlotte’s hand. She let him do it. 

Charlotte stared up at him, her eyes red rimmed and glossy. “I kept telling her that she wasn’t processing her past and that she had to confront her trauma. I told her she needed closure.” Charlotte inhaled a shaky breath. “I did this.”

Ethan stepped in front of her. He must have forgotten himself for a moment because his hands cupped Charlotte’s face as he forced her eyes to meet his. 

“You had nothing to do with this,” Ethan stated, his voice soft. “Juliet makes her own decisions.”

Charlotte nodded and looked away, but she seemed unconvinced. 

“If Juliet’s on some mission to go home and confront things… Why's Joel with her?” Matt asked from behind Ethan. His voice hardened when he mentioned the name of the man who broke his nose.

Ethan dropped his hands from Charlotte’s face and turned around to meet Matt’s eyes. He looked hurt. 

“Because he would never have let her go without him,” Ethan sighed, rubbing his neck. “I’d bet that Juliet tried to go herself but Joel stopped her.”

Matt rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, straightening his spine as he barked out a harsh laugh. “Possessive creep,” he uttered under his breath. “I saw the way he looked at her, it was fucking weird,” Matt grumbled. 

Ethan scratched his head. He didn’t disagree, but they didn’t have time for this.

He looked at his friends, and sighed. “We need to find Tommy.”

………………..

Tommy sat at the bar, glass of whiskey at his lips. 

Charlotte was the first through the door, stalking towards Joel’s brother with renewed energy, her guilt hidden away for the time being. 

“Tommy,” she called as she approached, startling him. 

Tommy was out of his seat, preparing for the worst. 

“What’s happening?” he demanded, slamming his glass on the worn wooden bartop. 

“The town’s fine,” Ethan assured him. Tommy’s shoulders dropped and he sat back down on the stool. 

“Shit,” he breathed. “Don’t scare me like that.”

Ethan looked at Matt, raising his eyebrows, unsure how to approach this. 

Charlotte had no such worry.

“Tommy Miller, we know you’ve been lyin’ to us,” she accused, then looked back at Ethan and Matt. “You’re gonna tell us where Joel and Juliet are, now.” 

Ethan’s skin crawled with heat, he hated confrontation. 

From the looks of it, so did Tommy. The man in front of them took a long drink of his whiskey and brought it down on the surface in a move so similar to his older brother. 

“Don’t know what the hell you’re talkin’ about,” he replied, standing again and straightening his back. Then, he smiled, tight and forced. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta help clean this place up after last night.” 

He turned away from them, heading for a group of men by the stage who were clearing away the empty glasses. 

“Tommy,” Ethan called and they watched as Tommy paused with his back to them, waiting.

“We know something is going on,” he confessed, hoping honesty would appeal to his kinder nature. “We’re worried about Juliet.”

Tommy turned slowly, his jaw clenched tight. He looked at the three of them and no doubt recognised the look of fear in each of their faces. Then he dropped his head and sighed heavily.

“Look,” he began, “I don’t know what you think you know… but Juliet is fine. Joel is with her.”

“That’s what we’re worried about,” Matt said under his breath, earning him a cutting look from Ethan. 

Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed.

Ethan tried to steer the conversation back on the right track. “Has she gone back? To our old community?”

Tommy looked taken aback. He blinked and gritted his teeth, looking only at Ethan. 

Ethan’s blood roared in his ears. Please just tell him that he’s made a mistake, that she really is on a patrol and that she didn’t go back there.  

Ethan held his breath as Tommy dropped his chin in a sharp nod, confirming their worst fears.

“She didn’t want me to tell you,” he revealed, wiping a hand over his face, looking defeated. 

Charlotte had froze. Matt was shaking his head. 

Ethan felt like he’d been stabbed by a sharp, brutal knife. 

“Did she say why?” he heard himself ask over the sound of his own heartbeat. As they waited for Tommy to answer, he felt Charlotte step forward and place a hand on his arm. Ethan leaned into her touch. 

Tommy shook his head. “They wouldn’t say,” he replied, then met Ethan’s eyes again. “But it was important… Juliet didn’t look good.”

Ethan flinched. 

“Listen,” Tommy said sharply, grabbing their attention. “Don’t be getting any ideas,” he warned them. “Joel and Juliet are both capable, they’ll be back in no time.”

Ethan was shaking his head now. Anger was flowing through his veins. Tommy had no idea what their old home was like. Elijah might be dead, but he wasn’t the only monster in the town. 

In the years that Juliet was away, when he was held captive, it wasn’t just Elijah that came to visit him. 

“No,” he choked out. “This was a mistake, she’s made a mistake.” Ethan shrugged off Charlotte’s touch, stepping closer to Tommy. “I’m going after them.” 

“Ethan,” Tommy warned, his eyes turning colder.

“No,” he repeated. “You have no idea what’s waiting for them. Joel murdered their leader, do you think they’re going to welcome them in? Forgive him for what he’s done?”

For the first time, Ethan watched a spark of fear flash across Tommy’s face. 

Ethan was shaking now. With fear or rage, he couldn’t decide. 

“They’ll die there,” he bit out. 

Tommy stepped backwards, looking between the three of them.

“We have to go help them,” a soft voice announced from behind Ethan. His head whipped around, finding Charlotte’s face steeled and ready to help her friend. Matt looked between them and nodded. 

Juliet had found safety once, and she left that to help him, to save him.

Finally, Ethan nodded and turned back to Tommy.

“We’re going.”

______________________

Juliet’s POV: 

Present day 

His heart beat slowly under her palm.

Between each gap, Juliet held her breath, fearing that it had stopped. 

Joel was lucid for only a few moments. Enough time for him to mutter Juliet’s name, and then his voice ceased, leaving behind shallow breaths and a weak pulse. 

Juliet thought back to the time he was stabbed at the university, when she dragged him back to that little house with the front porch. He had bled so much, Juliet didn’t think someone could survive that amount of blood loss. 

She remembered when he had begged her to leave him, to save herself. 

This time, Joel said nothing. There weren’t even any wounds for her to stitch or any bleeding holes to plug. There were just blossoming bruises on his face and chest, and a shallow wound on his head that had thankfully stopped bleeding.

The lack of blood did nothing to ease the terror that paralysed Juliet. 

There was something wrong with Joel, a concussion maybe. She cursed herself for not listening closer to Ethan when he spoke about his medical training. 

She did remember, however, that people with concussions shouldn’t be allowed to sleep. That was why Juliet had spent the past hour trying to wake him up. 

She forgot about her own pain and focused entirely on shaking Joel, screaming at him, begging him to wake up, with short breaks in between to check his heart was still beating.  

As the minutes crawled by, Juliet weakened. The adrenaline was leaving her bloodstream and she sunk down to her knees, her head resting on Joel’s lap.

She continued to count his breaths while she attempted to find the strength to get back on her feet. After a while, Juliet startled with the feeling of someone stroking her hair. She thought her mind was playing tricks on her, that her long overdue fever had finally kicked in. 

Then she felt it again.

She shot up, gripping Joel’s legs to pull her to her knees.

His eyes were open, only slightly.

“Joel,” Juliet breathed, quickly jumping to her feet and ignoring the way she swayed to the side. 

“I’m here, I’m here,” she repeated as she reached out to cup his cheek, blinking away the tears that blurred her vision. 

He said nothing, Juliet wasn’t even sure if he recognised her. But he was awake again, and he was still breathing. Juliet could work with that.

They had to get upstairs, it was a miracle no one had found them yet. Maybe the mess left in the medic’s office had scared the rest of the men away, or maybe John wasn’t as inspiring a leader as he thought he was. 

She had to get back to that medic’s office. Joel needed help, desperately. He needed disinfectant, bandages, fresh water, food, the list was endless. 

Juliet stood frozen with her fingers softly stroking his cheek as his eyes continued to stare vacantly at her. 

Being in this basement was weighing on her, claustrophobia was setting in. 

Her blood still stained the ground, reminding her of the pain she suffered. She couldn’t stand to be in this dark, haunted room a second longer. Joel wouldn’t die here , she swore. 

“Joel,” she whispered, then forced herself to harden her voice. “ Joel. ”

He blinked and continued to stare.

Juliet ignored the tears that rolled down her cheeks. 

“We need to get upstairs,” she croaked, then cringed when she heard the sorrow in her voice. “I’m going to put my arms under yours and we’ll walk together, but I need you to try, okay?” 

Juliet watched his jaw move and his eyes widen, but no words came out. She could tell, though, that he heard her. 

“Okay,” she murmured, then bent down with a silent prayer that they could make it up the basement stairs.

……………….

Joel collapsed on the green, velvet couch with a deep, guttural groan. Thankfully, he had enough strength to keep his head up, so it didn’t hit against the arm rest and cause even more damage. 

Juliet swayed on her feet again. She was sweating heavily and her hand slid on the wall she stabilised herself on. But that didn’t matter just now, she had to find some water for Joel. 

His eyes had closed again. Juliet felt a scream rise in her throat but she swallowed it down. 

There was some fresh water in the next room, probably melted snow. She brought it through in an old, worn mug, ignoring the way her fingers shook as she rounded the corner into the living room, then rushed to bend down next to Joel. 

Her fingers continued to shake as she lifted the mug to his lips.

He coughed, spluttering some of the water but he managed to swallow. Juliet could have cheered. He was okay, he was okay, he was okay.  

She looked behind her, towards the hall. Terror walked side by side with relief in her chest. Anyone could walk through that door, and Juliet didn’t think she had it in her to kill again. 

“Joel,” she said as she turned back to him. Surprise fired through her like a bullet when she noticed his eyes follow her movement. Juliet swallowed, feeling energised by Joel’s exhibition of lucidity. 

“I’m going to go get some supplies,” Juliet whispered to him, scared to raise her voice. She didn’t know how much pain he was in. 

Looking at him hurt her, so Juliet turned to the side as she moved to push herself off the couch.

Strong calloused fingers wrapped around her wrist, halting her movement.

Juliet’s eyes flashed to Joel’s. He pinned her with his stare as his gaze swept over her bloodstained face and his eyes widened. 

“ No,” he ground out, breathing heavy as he squeezed her wrist harder.

Thankfully, it was her good hand but the pain from John’s ropes still remained and Juliet bit her lip to stop a cry from escaping.

Joel eased his grip immediately and tried to push himself up.

“Don’t move,” Juliet begged, gently pushing against his shoulders, stopping him. “Please, you’ll hurt yourself.” 

Joel grunted as he fell back on the couch, unable to push himself up. 

“Don’t… go…” he commanded breathlessly through clenched teeth. “Not… safe…”

Juliet fought against the fresh tears that flowed down her burning red cheeks, and she shivered. 

“I’ll be right back,” she whispered, “I promise.” 

Juliet rose quickly, darting towards the door before she could change her mind. She had to find something to ease his pain. He wouldn’t survive if she didn’t do this. 

She hadn’t even reached the living room door before she heard his voice again.

“ Juliet,” he barked, grunting as he tried to get up.

Juliet squeezed her eyes shut, begging herself not to turn around. 

“I promise,” she whispered, then opened the door.

…………..

Juliet stood in the hall, blinking away fresh tears. 

She blocked out the sound of Joel begging her to stay, blocked out every crushing memory from this house, every thought that tried to drag her back down to that basement, and she switched her brain into survival mode. She had to be practical, smart, quick if she wanted to get across the town without another fight.

Juliet looked in the other room. The man she’d killed still lay on the ground, blood soaking the rug as his glassy eyes stared at the ceiling. 

She felt no remorse, Juliet only saw an opportunity. 

If she didn’t have the strength to fight anymore, the best she could do was frighten away any attackers.

Juliet rolled her shoulders and stepped into the dining room. 

…………

Twenty minutes later, Juliet had tucked her lost gun in her back pocket and dragged the body of the man in the dining room, and the man at the back door, to the front porch where she piled them on top of each other, allowing the remaining blood to drench the wooden floorboards.

Then, Juliet wiped her good hand across the neck of the man she’d stabbed, gathering blood and used it to create a red X on the door. 

That should deter any visitors , she thought as she made her way down the porch stairs and onto the street, legs trembling from the task of dragging bodies through the house. 

Juliet kept to the shadows along the sides of buildings. She knew there were eyes on her, maybe the families of the remaining men who ran the town, but no one had come for her yet.

She just had to get to the medic’s office…

Juliet stumbled to a stop when the street in front of her suddenly went blurry, and the world turned on its side. 

“What…” Juliet murmured as leaned back against the nearest building. 

Her head rolled to the side, then dropped to stare at her hand. 

The bandage was black, all traces of white had disappeared and a strange pus-like substance leaked around the stump of her lost finger. Juliet swallowed her nausea and a cold chill shot down her spine at the sight. It shouldn’t look like that, should it?  

She’d been so focused on getting to Joel and keeping him awake that she hadn’t thought twice about herself. Even still, as she waited for the wave of dizziness to pass, Juliet’s heart thundered with panic as she thought of Joel on that couch, waiting for her. 

She would get some banaages for herself too but she had to help Joel first, he was the priority. Because if she lost him…

Juliet shook her head violently to rid herself of the thought, then staggered, desperately trying not to pass out. Once she was stable, Juliet pushed herself off the wall and started walking again. Her mind pushed her weakening legs forward, reminding of the fear that struck her heart when she thought Joel wasn’t waking up. 

Not much longer now , Juliet thought as she dragged her body down the street. 

………………….

White hot pain fired through her shoulder when it met the cold metal door.

Again, she thought. 

Her vision blackened, but the door made a loud creak.

One more time, she begged herself. 

Finally, the door gave way as Juliet stumbled into the office. Her vision blurry as she noticed the metal examination table had been pushed against the door.

Were they afraid of her? 

The thought ignited something in Juliet, she wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad feeling but she swallowed it down anyway and pulled her gun out her back pocket, moving cautiously around the table.

Someone had been here in the couple hours since she left. Juliet froze when she realised John and Danny’s bodies had been removed. 

That was quick.  

She shook off the fear and focused on her task. They needed antiseptic, any pain medication she could find, and bandages. Juliet could only hope that was everything, she didn’t have any medical knowledge beyond the scraps she’d picked up from Ethan and Charlotte, or tending to her own burns in the QZ. 

Hope was fueling every muscle stiff in her body. 

The bandages were easy to find. Juliet stepped over the puddle of blood and guts John had left on the floor, placed her gun on the edge of the counter, and used her good hand to stretch up to the cabinet where white material spilled out. 

“Shit,” a voice cursed behind her. 

Juliet grabbed her gun and turned fast enough for her hair to whip on the edge of the glass cabinet. 

She blinked, struggling to focus her eyes against the dizziness that plagued her brain. 

“Don’t move,” she ordered, tempting the tigger with her finger as her gaze finally swept over the two men in front of her.

They looked about her age and as Juliet continued to stare, she realised she even recognised them. 

“Juliet, stop. We - we’re not gonna hurt you,” one of them said, his hands already in the air. Then, to prove his word, he nudged the man beside him to do the same. 

She couldn’t remember their names, her mind was too fuzzy, but she remembered them as a couple of the other kids who also grew up in this town. They were always tucked behind their mother’s back, hidden away from the horrors that occurred.

Juliet was always so fucking jealous of them.

The sight of the brothers made her pause, faltering her hold on her gun slightly. She scanned them up and down and came to the conclusion that they had no weapons on them, but she kept her gun in the air, struggling to trust them, regardless of their past innocence. 

When she didn’t pull the trigger, one of the brother’s tried again to reason with her. 

“We just came to get some pain medicine,” he explained quickly, pointing to the bottles he’d dropped on the floor. “Our mother, she’s sick.” 

Juliet’s eyebrows furrowed. “I thought everyone was dead,” she said slowly, confusion fueling her words.

The younger brother shook his head. “That’s what we want them to think” he murmured. Then they both looked down at the blood on the floor before their eyes flashed to her hand. “We had no part in this, I swear” the older brother vowed.

In a move that went against every survival instinct Juliet had built up over the past few years, from her time with Blake, in the QZ, or on the road with Joel… Juliet lowered her gun. 

She glanced down at that puddle of blood and guts again and felt only a deep exhaustion that ached down to her bones.

She was tired of killing. 

She didn’t want to be this person anymore.

She didn’t have to. 

Juliet looked at the brothers and wished she could remember their names. Despite everything, they had survived this town too and still had enough empathy to care for their mother.

“I’m here for the same things you are,” she stated, nodding towards the medication on the floor, then she looked the older brother in the eye. “We find what we need, then we leave. No one gets hurt,” Juliet explained. “Got it?”

The brothers nodded and their shoulders sagged with relief. 

Juliet blew out a long breath and reached up to wipe the cold sweat off her forehead, before she swayed slightly against the counter.

“Hey, are you okay?” the older brother asked, looking her up and down.

Juliet hated looking weak, and despite deeming these men as somewhat safe, she still didn’t entirely trust them and couldn’t stomach the thought of them viewing her as an easy target.

Too much had happened in this room already.

Juliet tightened her hold on the counter, used her gun to point towards the medication on the floor, then looked up at the men. “I’m taking some of those,” she announced, then looked up at the bottle of disinfectant tucked in the younger brother’s pocket. “And that.” 

The brothers looked at each other, then to Juliet’s gun, and nodded in agreement. 

…………….

The bag she found sagged with the weight of the supplies she gathered. It now hung from her shoulder, aggravating the bruise forming under her skin.

Juliet winced as she stepped out of the office into the light. It was late afternoon but still bright enough to worsen the headache blooming across her skull. 

The world was far blurrier than it had looked before she stepped into the building and Juliet had to pause against the nearest wall to catch her breath.

The brothers had left not long ago. The eldest one, Noah, she remembered, tried to get her to come with them, to shelter in their home. Juliet just pointed her gun at him until they grabbed their stuff and walked out the door. 

She didn’t have time to make allies. 

On his way out, Noah had told her that she better change that bandage on her hand, but he knew well enough by that point not to offer to do it himself. 

He was right, Juliet realised, but once she had her supplies, she couldn’t think about herself. She had to get back to Joel. 

Juliet had lost her firm grip on time and the minutes had slid through her fingers as she searched the medic’s office. What if he fell back asleep? What if he never wakes up? 

What if she's failed him, again?  

Juliet wiped away at the ice cold sweat that coated the back of her neck as she swallowed down the sickening thoughts. 

She took a step, then another, then she stopped as her body swayed to the left.

No, no, no, this can't be happening here , she screamed inside her mind. 

She was too exposed, anyone could see her here out in the open. 

Juliet dropped her bag to the ground with a grunt of pain and pulled out a bottle of pills. Without her other hand, she struggled to get the top open as her fingers kept losing their grip.

She let out a long, gutteral groan and pushed the lid between her teeth, pushing down with too much force as she turned the bottle with her good hand.

Just a couple pills and the pain would go away and she could get to Joel.  

With a loud pop, the lid was off and small white pills sprayed around her. Some landed in her mouth, some on the ground.

“No!” Juliet gagged, frantically trying to pick the pills off the ground with her bloodied fingers and push them back in the bottle. Tears were flowing heavily down her cheeks now. Her skin was too hot, the tears were ice cold. 

Juliet looked up and felt the world spin again. Why did it keep doing that? She thought, bitterly. 

She moved her tongue and felt the pills that had spilled in her mouth. Juliet was beginning to forget who the pills were for, and why she was sitting on the freezing ground. So, in a hazy effort not to waste any of the medication, Juliet swallowed the remaining pills taking up space in her mouth. There were only a couple in there, she was sure. 

She had to press her good hand to her lips to stop herself from gagging again. 

Joel.  

The thought of him raced into her brain like a bullet.

Oh god. 

Time was slipping again. Juliet couldn’t get a grip on it anymore. Had she been on the ground for minutes now, or hours?  

With a scream ready to erupt in her throat, Juliet pushed herself off the ground, stuffed the pill bottle back in her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

Joel. Joel. Joel. Joel. 

She did this. She brought him here. It was her fault.

It was her fault. 

Juliet almost gagged again, but managed to hold her stomach.

She was stumbling, tripping over her own feet but she kept moving. She just had to get back to him, then he’d be okay. 

For a moment, Juliet thought she felt his fingers on her cheek, sweeping away her tears. It was pouring rain and the tear he caught washed away quickly. He looked so sad, watching her as she cried.

Juliet blinked and the rain was gone. 

She turned, then turned again. Juliet couldn’t recognise the street she was on anymore. What way did she go? Where was Joel? Oh God… 

She was too hot, her skin was burning. Juliet dropped the bag again and her fingers latched at her jacket, attempting to tear it from her body. 

Before she could process it, Juliet was falling. She just managed to throw out her good arm before her face smashed against the ground. The frosted gravel dug into her back as she rolled over, scrambling to stand up again, attempting to crawl her way to Joel. 

But Juliet wasn’t crawling. She wasn’t moving at all. 

She lay still on the empty street as the world spun above her.

That was why, when seconds, minutes or hours passed and she tilted her head to the side to find the source of the new strange, but familiar, sound that drifted down the street, Juliet didn’t believe her own eyes. 

Those weren’t horses, she said to herself. It was impossible.  

Juliet’s body was still as the creatures approached. What a strange dream, she thought. 

“Juliet!” a voice bellowed, first from far away and then closer all of a sudden. 

Her head rolled in the voice’s direction and Juliet blinked rapidly. 

“Matt, quick! Help me lift her!” the same voice shouted behind him. 

Why did she recognise that voice? 

“Fuck, what’s wrong with her?” another voice asked as hands were tucked under her body.

She struggled against her attackers, kicking them with all the strength she had left.

“Juliet stop! Stop! It’s me!” the original voice begged, gripping her legs with his hands. 

She blinked again, her vision finally clearing.

“Ethan?” she said in disbelief, her voice heavily slurred.

The sight of him was like a bucket of ice cold water. Her brain grasped desperately for some clarity of mind. 

“Juliet, oh my god,” a woman’s voice cried breathlessly. 

“Charlotte?” Juliet croaked as the bitter cold tears descended her face again, dripping on whoever now held her in their arms. 

“We’re here, we’re here,” she soothed with a hand on Juliet’s forehead, then Charlotte turned to Ethan. “She’s burning up.” 

Juliet wanted to beg her to keep her hand on her skin, it was so cold. 

Joel.  

The sight of him on the couch flooded her mind.

“Joel,” she gasped out, but she was too quiet, they didn’t hear her. “Joel!” Juliet tried again, projecting every bit of desperation into her voice. 

“Please you have to help him,” she cried, gripping the hand of whoever was closest to her. 

Someone cursed.

“Where is he?” Ethan asked, his voice strained. 

Juliet was losing her grip on reality again, it was dripping through her fingers like the seconds. 

A clock was ticking in her mind, counting down the time she had left to save him.

“Home,” she murmured as her head began to roll to the side again.

-----------------------------

Okay you might have to suspend your disbelief a bit with this one. It's probably the most dramatic description of a fever you've ever read but we're nearing the end of this fic so drama is necessary hahah

Also sorry for another cliffhanger but the next chapter will be up within the next few days 😘

______________________________

@amyispxnk @casa-boiardi @http-paprika @shotgun-shelby @weeping-werewolf @mysaviorjoelmiller @chlojoceycom @joelmillersblog @socialistmary @orcasoul @ashhlsstuff @caitlynsixxx

[cowgurrrl]

Ok I have fluff angst idea…Charlie is pregnant and freaking out about telling Joel because she is kinda young. And Joel is mad, scared, excited , crying and also grandpa Joel?!

Hello why did this make me tear up

April, Come She Will

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: it’s canon to me that reader and Joel live to be 100 and nothing bad ever happens to them ever again

Summary: The next generation of Millers find their way [3.6k]

Warnings: teen pregnancy (what’s new for this series lmao), arguing, language, call backs

Charlie's been acting weird for the past few weeks. She's been coming in and out of the house at strange times, not showing up for patrol, and giving you vague answers about where she's been. She's nineteen now, so she doesn't necessarily need you and Joel breathing down her neck all the time, but you still like to know where your kid is. She tells you she's been with Ellie or her boyfriend, Eric, which is fine. You like Eric. You just wish she would spend a little more time at home. 

Charlie and Eric met on patrol. No matter how much you tried to dissuade her from joining the patrol team, she wouldn't listen. She had watched you guys go out and defend Jackson as she grew up and even talked to Ellie about her adventures outside the walls. She knew how to ride a horse, and Joel taught her how to handle a gun. The intention was never to "train" her for patrol but to be prepared in a worst-case situation where she needed to protect herself but the second she was old enough, she signed up. She got paired with Eric, a sweet boy her age she went to school with, for her first patrol, and that was it. They've been together ever since. 

Joel was hesitant when they started dating, but you reminded him she was an adult and could make her own decisions. Eric was somehow more hesitant when Charlie invited him over for a family dinner. Eric grew up hearing stories about your family, and his dad occasionally worked patrol with Joel, but knowing him by proxy is much different than sitting across from him at the dinner table. Joel promised to be on his best behavior, but poor Eric was terrified any time Joel asked him a question. Since then, they've gotten a little closer, but they are by no means buddies. You're a little nicer.

All this runs through your head when Eric trails behind Charlie into the house. It's a Saturday, and you and Joel are off patrol, sitting next to each other on the couch. You were supposed to go see Ellie and Dina, but they rescheduled for next weekend without much explanation as to why. JJ might've gotten in trouble. At seventeen, he has more of Ellie's wild personality than anything else. It's a little fun to watch her try to handle a younger version of herself. 

"Hey, can we talk?" Charlie asks, a slight tremble in her voice. You look up from your book, and Joel leans forward to drop his wood carving knife on the coffee table. She and Eric sit across from you, her leg bouncing anxiously when she does, and you glance between them. You're a little confused as to why Eric has to be here for this, but she's clinging to his hand so hard you almost worry she's gonna break it. Worry claws at the back of your throat, but you swallow it down. Whatever it is, you can handle it.

"Sure, bug," you say. "What's up?" 

"Um, so there's something I've been meaning to tell you, but I wanted to get some things squared away before I did because I didn't want you guys to freak out or anything. I understand this is a really big deal, but it's under control, and we have a plan." She explains rapidly, and Joel chuckles as he removes his glasses to rub at his eye.

"You ain't pregnant, are you?" He asks, and Charlie is silent. That's when you feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. Your mouth goes dry, and you sit up, staring at her like you're waiting for her to say she's joking. "Charlotte," Joel says, his tone even and scarily calm. "You're not. Right?"

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she says, tears shining in her eyes. "But we… we have a plan. We're gonna get set up in a house, and Ellie's gonna lend us some of JJ's old things, and we're gonna pick up some more shifts before the baby comes. It's all gonna be okay."

You can't help but feel like you set her up for failure, not only with your own teen pregnancy but with your inability to keep her safe. In the old days, you might've been able to put her on birth control or give her condoms when she started dating, but those things aren't on the top of the list for what little FEDRA manufacturing is left. The best "safe sex" talk you could have with her is letting her know her options if she did get pregnant or sick. You hated it, but there wasn't much else you could do. And now look where you are. 

"Mom, can you please say something?" Charlie begs as Eric rubs her back. You thought you'd be prepared for something like this with your and Joel's (and Ellie's) family life starting earlier than most. Instead, you find yourself, possibly for the first time ever, sympathizing with your mother. You pull yourself together enough to open your mouth. 

"You wanna have this baby?" You ask, and she nods. 

"We already decided. We're not gonna get married or anything yet, but yeah, we want this baby," she says. Eric doesn't say anything. You figure that's probably smart. It's only a matter of time before Joel freaks the fuck out about the fact that he got your baby girl pregnant. "That's why I went to Ellie's the other day. I was talking to her, Aunt Dina, and Uncle Jesse about when they had Jay." She says. You try not to be offended that she told Ellie before she told you. You told lots of people before you told your mom you were pregnant. Still, you thought you and Charlie were closer than you and your mom were. 

You look at Joel, the same panic and anger taking over his features, and take a deep breath. He grinds his teeth as he thinks, and you have to stop yourself from scolding him. When you look back at Charlie, her face is splotchy, and her brown eyes sparkle in the mid-afternoon light. She looks so grown up but so little at the same time. Your eyes slide from hers to Eric's wide ones.

"I'm assuming you know the stories about Jane and her dad?" You ask.

"Yes, ma'am." He croaks, and you nod.

"And I'm assuming you know how Joel and I got to Jackson in the first place?" 

"Mom," Charlie starts, but you catch Joel shaking his head at her in your peripheral vision. Eric swallows thickly and nods.

"Yes, ma'am." 

"Good," you say. "If I ever hear anything about you not being there for Charlie or that baby, or if you even think about leaving them, I'll fucking kill you." You haven't had to speak this way in years, and it, obviously, rattles both Charlie and Eric. Good. You hope it does rattle him. 

"Mom!" Charlie scolds, looking to Joel for help, but it's clear that he has your back with this one. You'll be damned if she ends up a single parent like you two were. She scoffs and stands, pulling Eric up with her. "You don't have to listen to this, Eric."

"Yes, he does." You say.

"Baby, what did you think we were gonna say?" Joel asks. 

"That you'd support my decision or, at least, find a way to!" 

"Of course, we support you. I just..." Joel trails off. "I just don't think you know what this means. How much this is gonna change your life. And I know you love each other, but havin' a baby ain't an easy thing."

"That's why we're doing it together," she says, her eyes moving from Joel's to yours. "That's why it's fucking crazy to talk to him like that. And unfair. You didn't act this way when Ellie had JJ." 

"That's because we didn't need to have this same talk with them. Jesse and Dina had already decided to co-parent Jay. There was no way Dina was gonna be a single mom," you say. "But there were three of them, and it was still hard. You were just a baby when he was born, so you don't remember, but it was a lot."

"So, you don't think I can be a mom?" She asks, and you stand with your hands up in defeat.

"I didn't say that. I just want you to be prepared. I remember what it was like, and I-"

"Just because you were miserable when you had Jane doesn't mean everyone is." It's mean and calculated and hits you right where it hurts. It doesn't matter if it's the hormones or not. The sting of her words renders you silent. 

"Don't you speak to your mother that way!" Joel yells. He never yells anymore, especially at Charlie. The scary boom in his voice fills the room, but you catch the glint of tears in his eyes as his breathing stutters. "This ain't just playin' house, Charlie. So, if your mama is a little worried, she's allowed to be. Shit, we're all allowed to lose our fuckin' minds for a minute, but that isn't an excuse to talk bout your family like that." He says, and she taps her shoe on the ground twice, a nervous tick she picked up from Joel.

"I'm sorry, Mom, but I can't just sit here and listen to you threaten Eric like that," she says. You nod but don't apologize. You can't find anything to say. Charlie stares at you like she's waiting for you to lash out or yell at her, but you can't. She wipes a stray tear away furiously and turns away. "I need some air," she mumbles, dragging Eric out of the house before you can even protest. The door slams behind her, and the floorboards she took her first steps on shake with the force. Joel reaches for your hand and pulls you into him. He murmurs soft assurances into your hair, his voice cracking and tears spilling from his eyes as he does, and all you can do is let him hold you. 

What the fuck else are you supposed to do?

You wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of the bathroom door in the hall slamming open. You and Joel jolt upright in bed at the sudden sound (old habits die hard, right?), and you sigh as you rub your eyes. You check the alarm clock next to your bed for the time and see it's close to three. The dark mountain town is still asleep outside your window, and you grab a soft flannel from the floor to pull over your shoulders. 

You don't remember falling asleep. You were up, waiting for Charlie to come home so you could talk further, but when the front door opened and closed, and she basically sprinted to her room, you couldn't find the energy for another fight. But when you laid down, you couldn't sleep either, your conversation from earlier playing on a loop in your mind. You and Joel just sat there in silence, staring up at the ceiling until your eyelids got too heavy, and you fell into a dreamless sleep. You couldn't have been asleep for over an hour or two when the bathroom door swung open. Joel looks at you, confused when you stand.

"What are you doin'?" He asks, and you wave him off.

"I know why she's up. Just go back to bed." You say without much explanation before padding down the hallway and into the bathroom.

Your footsteps are loud enough on the tile for her to hear you, so she doesn't flinch when you suddenly pull her hair away from her face and hold it out of the way. She glances at you and softens a little before retching into the toilet again. She does that for another minute or two before her stomach is finally empty, and you can safely let go of her hair. She sighs and leans against the wall as you flush the toilet and hand her a towel. You settle across from her, your back pressed against the sink, and rub her leg as she wipes her face. 

"Thanks," she mumbles as she tips her head back against the wall. She looks tired and weak. All you want to do is scoop her up in your arms like she's three years old again. "I feel like shit."

"I'm sorry. That's my genetics. I was super sick with you and Jane." Her name rolls off your tongue so fast you almost forget the last time it was invoked. The air stiffens between you, and she shifts uncomfortably. 

"How long were you sick for?" She asks softly. You sigh as you track your memory back and try to remember the exact details.  

"About six months," you admit, and she groans. You laugh a little at her reaction, but only because you know how frustrating it is. If you could take it from her, you would. When you settle, she stares at you guiltily and starts picking at the nail bed around her thumb like she can't stand the silence. "Where did you guys go?" you ask to put her out of her misery.

"I just… needed to get out of the house. We walked around town for a while before going to his parent's house," she says. "They still don't know. We wanted to tell y'all first." You nod, unable to give words to your gratitude just yet, and she swallows thickly.  

"You could've stayed," you whisper. "I wanted you to stay."

"I know," she says. "I'm sorry. For everything." She looks like she could start crying again, so you take a deep breath, scoot over to her, wrap her in your arms, and kiss her temple. You feel her relax into you, and a weight is lifted off your shoulders.

"You know your dad and I worry about you. It's not about you not being capable or not smart enough because you are plenty capable and smart. But we also know that it doesn't matter how prepared you think you are. There's nothing that can prepare you for being a parent, and that's not me trying to scare you. It's just how it is." You explain, and she nods into your neck. 

"That's what Ellie said, too." She says. 

"Smart kid." 

"I feel like I fucked up," she pivots dramatically, but you hold on tightly and wait for her to continue. I'm right here with you, baby girl, you think. "I want to be happy because Eric seems happy, and you're supposed to be happy when you find out you're pregnant, but I'm so fucking scared." She sounds like she's on the brink of tears again, and you shush her. She sighs heavily and wipes at her face as she leans back enough to see you. "Were you scared when you found out you were pregnant?"

"Both times, I was fucking terrified. With you, it came later, though. Even though your dad and I talked about having another kid and how amazing you'd end up being, I remember going into labor and shaking cause of how scared I was." You say, and she nods. 

"How did you... know you were supposed to be a mom? She asks. It's a loaded question. How does anyone ever know they're "supposed" to be a parent? You certainly didn't think you were meant for anything that important at sixteen, but you do remember why you made the decision you did. 

"I, um…" you trail off, laughing. "I started having these dreams after I found out I was pregnant."

"Dreams?" 

"It was pretty much the same thing over and over again for a few months. I would be going through my regular routine, but this… baby was following me around. I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, but I knew it was my baby. And it came with me to school, the grocery store, work, everything, and as time passed in my dream, the bigger the baby got. They'd get more personality or start laughing, or their eyes would change colors, and I'd be so in love with them," You know you sound crazy, but that's because it was crazy. "The first few times, I woke up crying because the baby from my dreams wasn't there. I thought there was nothing worse than waking up in the morning and not having my kid there," you say. The weight of your words catches up with you, and you have to bite your bottom lip to keep from crying. "And I was right." You shake your head and take a deep breath, hyper-aware of her eyes on you.

"I had the same dreams when I got pregnant with you, except they were a little different. In all of them, you were always with Ellie and Dad— every single time. I thought you were gonna grow up and not like me as much or whatever other reason my hormones gave me for the change, but, towards the end, you started showing up alone. You were just this little light. I can't describe it exactly, but everything I did in the dream was a little more magical because you were there. Things were shiny or glittery, and you would just giggle and giggle and giggle," you say, smiling at the memory. You grab her hand and squeeze hard, looking directly into her eyes and fighting more tears. "You turned my world technicolor even before you were born, and I knew I would always do everything I could to protect you. That's why I was so hard on Eric. I know he's a good kid and nothing like Jane's dad was, but I don't want you to end up like me, kid." Charlie squeezes your hand, somehow harder than you squeeze her, and a familiar crease appears between her eyebrows.

"Mommy, if I'm half the woman you are, I'd be so fucking happy. Are you kidding me?" She says. 

"Charlotte-" 

"I'm serious," she cuts you off, Joel's commanding yet gentle tone seeping into her voice. "Mom, you made my lunch until I was in high school, and even when I asked you to stop, you still had one ready to go just in case I needed it. You used to take JJ and me to the park so Ellie and Aunt Dina could get some sleep, even though everyone knew that meant you didn't get any. You convinced Dad to talk to Eric because you knew I loved him and wanted him to like him..." She slows down a little bit, scanning your face before she continues. "You kept a kid alive during the Outbreak despite everything. You still buy her flowers on her birthday. You tell me about her. You let me know her," you take a shaky breath, and you can't stop the tears anymore. "You're a good mom, and I'm so lucky to have you, and I'm sorry for what I said and for getting pregnant and-" 

This time, you stop her by hugging her tight and letting yourself cry. She gets emotional, too, and a very unlucky Joel finds the two of you crying on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. Like everything, he takes it in stride and joins you two on the floor until the sun breaches over the mountains and a new day shines down. 

It's hard to say things got easier after that day. Eric's parents didn't react very positively at first, and it took them most of her pregnancy to come around. Charlie goes through weeks of sickness and bed rest. They argue a lot about the future and what it should look like, but they get there in the end. The next year, the house is filled with a familiar chatter and chaos. Charlie and Eric's twins (which explains why she felt so bad), Elliot "Ellie" Beth, and April Theresa Miller-Donovan, squeal as Joel takes turns dancing with them in the living room.

Elliot is, obviously, named in honor of your Ellie, but she bears Sarah's middle name. April threw you for a loop. The twins were born in snowy January, confusing you as to why they would name her that and not January, but Charlie smiled as she handed April to you. "Jane's birthday is April 7th. I didn't want to steal your name, but I remember you taking me to the meadow to pick flowers for her. April 7th was always my favorite day." She explained, making you choke up. When she told you April's middle name, you and Joel completely lost it. Theresa, for your Tess, the woman who believed so much in Ellie, she forced you to believe in her, too. The woman who saved your life in more ways than one. The woman who would've absolutely adored Charlie if she ever met her. 

You love being grandparents again— admittedly, a little older than you were the first time around. Joel teaches the girls Spanish words and lets them pull on his beard. You make extra food so your baby has something to eat after the long days and nights of keeping them alive, and you play silly games with them. They don't look like you or Joel or even Charlie or Eric. They look like their own little people. People who will never know the loss, destruction, and nights spent staring hopelessly at walls you went through. People who will grow up safe and loved and cared for. People who carry names they won't be able to put a face to. 

That's okay. They don't need to know about the people you were before you were their grandparents, and maybe it's time for you to try to let that time go. Maybe, in your and Joel's old age, with the deep wrinkles and graying hair, you can just be. Maybe you can just dance in the living room and make warm blankets and fall asleep holding hands. Maybe everything does turn out okay.

[hollywoodfamerp]

Pack your bags, Famers! Our annual winter trip is taking place in Ireland! On February 17th, all celebrities will be arriving at the Adare Manor to kick off our trip! Named the #1 resort in Europe in 2023, Adare Manor sits on 840 acres of pristine parkland.

"It’s prestige without pretense and magic without nonsense. Above all, it is the sense of belonging. You are known. You are family. You are home."

UNDER THE CUT, YOU’LL FIND THE LIST OF ROOMMATES!

Unless we got a message from you telling us you wanted to be with a specific person or were not in the ships list - you were included in the generator. If you do not see your FCs name on this list, please message us POLITELY and let us know - sometimes a name gets missed getting put into the generator. We’re human and it happens! At the same time, if your FC is on there twice by any chance then please let us know. Again, mistakes happen. As we accept new applications and people come into the group before AND during the event, this list will be updated. Same will go for if people get unfollowed or ask to leave the group. We posted the pairings in advance so that you may reach out to your roommate and get new interactions going! Even if a mun is on hiatus, be sure to reach out to them so that you can see if you can head-canon some interactions or plan for something when they are off hiatus. All trips are to encourage new interactions and unlikely connections!

PLEASE LIKE THIS NOTICE WHEN YOU HAVE READ IT AND SO THAT YOU CAN KEEP TRACK OF THE LIST UPDATES!

Addison Timlin & Sabrina Carpenter

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[trulybetty]

joel miller x masterlist

x. main masterlist

series.

Gold Rush Old lovers Joel and Charlotte find themselves unexpectedly reunited in the community of Jackson. Struggling to navigate the complexities of their shared history and the harsh realities of their new lives, the pair find themselves again drawn to one another. Strings (Complete) Your arrangement with Joel Miller is supposed to be uncomplicated. No attachments. However, you're not sure how long this is going to last. 323 Mulefall Crt. (no outbreak!Joel x OFC) | Delta Landscaping Crossover In the sunny, eclectic neighbourhood of Mulefall Crt., Katie has been navigating her fresh start away from her past life in Chicago, finding unexpected friendships and found family with the street's residents. As she rebuilds her life, and the fixer-upper she purchased sight unseen, love is the last thing on her mind after being burned. However, Joel Miller's arrival has sparks flying and has her wondering if having fun might not be such a bad idea in helping her move on from her past. Honey (Jackson!Joel x f!reader) A series of oneshots, which can be read as a collective or on their own, depicting life for Joel in Jackson after the events of TLOU. The Little Coffee Shop Around the Corner Maplewood, a small town nestled in northern BC where people flock to see the festive decorations of the main street and enjoy the festive traditions. finding yourself back home and working for the family business, you strike up a friendship with the town's local contractor.

one shots.

Drip (warning potential TLOU2 spoilers) In the quiet of the house, you can hear voices arguing, but all you can focus on is the drip, drip, drip of the tap. Sequins (no outbreak!joel) On a night out with friends, you run into a broad-shouldered stranger and there's no denying that there's an immediate attraction between the two of you. happy birthday (no outbreak!joel) happy birthday Joel Miller. Tess (Gold Rush) (Joel x Tess & Joel x OFC) Tess doesn't hold any delusions from her complex, and often one-sided, relationship with Joel. Long Time (Gold Rush) (Joel x OFC) Inspired by The Last of Us Episode S1x03 - leaving Bill and Frank's home and Joel reminisces after Ellie finds a mix tape that unlocks some old buried memories.

prompts & drabbles.

oct' x 01 - ruffled hair (joel x gn!reader) oct' x 04 - walks in the forest (strings!joel x reader) oct' x 06 - falling leaves (gold rush!joel x charlotte) oct' x 10 - oktoberfest (sequins!joel x reader) oct' x 12 - cornfields (sequins!joel x f!reader) oct' x 15 - first wine (sequins!joel x reader) oct' x 18 - picking apples (sequins!joel x reader) oct' x 23 - harvest (gold rush!joel x charlotte) oct' x 27 - witches (sequins!joel x f!reader) oct' x 29 - stormy days (sequins!joel x f!reader)

[heynikkiyousofine]

✨Hello, 2024!✨

I'm excited to share with you a few projects I'm hoping to start posting this next year, while also branching out on some new things, such as new pairings, a different POV, and even an attempt at an original novel by myself. Cheers to the next year!

⌘Sweeter Than Fiction

(InuKag, modern au, strangers to lovers, librarian/hockey player au, eventual smut, fluff)

Summary: Kagome Higurashi is a loner, something that has never bothered her. She has her close friend, she has her favorite books she devours every chance she gets, a family who loves and supports her, and she is in her final year of college, with a dream to become a writer. Kagome’s content, but in reality, she wishes for adventures and excitement, much like the characters in her books. In steps the captain of her college’s hockey team, a rude, unruly, and cocky hanyou named Inuyasha Taisho, and suddenly, her whole world is turned upside down.

Keep an eye out for some fabulous art by @clearwillow with this one.

⌘How To Train Your Human

(InuKag, space/other world au, strangers to lovers, eventual smut, chaos, fluff, funny)

Summary: In their 250th year, every youkai receives their human familiar after they complete all the necessary tests and read the handbook on how to train their human. Even Inuyasha will, despite being the first half demon to do so. He expected a kind, docile human as described in said handbook, similar to how his mother was when she met his father. So what does he do when Kagome Higurashi, his human, is the exact opposite?

Keep an eye out for some fantastic art with this one by @heavenin--hell

⌘Terms and Conditions

(InuKag, modern au, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, eventual smut, angst, fluff)

Summary: After the disastrous day I had, there were two things I was certain of. One, Inuyasha Taisho, the country’s most eligible bachelor, was going to be my fiancé, and eventual husband. Two, we might kill each other before we ever make it to the altar.

Also planning some fabulous art with @brain-rot-hour for this one as well.

⌘Gifts for amazing people in this fandom.

I've been working with a select few others in creating gifts for the amazing readers, writers, artist, creators of this fandom, so be on the look out for some one-shots and drabbles of our favorite half demona and modern miko, along with new pairings that I'm dipping my toes into.

⌘Becoming Theirs (An Original Novel)

(new novel, modern, strangers, stalker, dark, humor, fluff, smut, healing my own inner trauma with this one)

Summary: Charlotte's life has been turned upside down with meeting Jackson and Elliot, only for her entire world to be shifted again when a past danger reveals itself.

⌘ Maybe/Maybe Not's:

(depends on all the time I have)

Epilogue Chapter to 12 Days of Smutmas: InuKag Edition

Sequel to A Deal With A Demon

Bird In A Cage (InuKag, strangers to lovers, dark and twisty, feudal era and modern au, fluff, first time, teaching, smut.) Summary: Kagome finds herself escaping a fate bestowed upon and stumbles upon a whole new world, where not all are who they seem to be.

Currently celebrating hitting the 400 mark in followers. If you would like to be added to the tag list or removed, please let me know, so I can update it. Also, if there's anything you're excited for, feel free to let me know! I will happily let you know when a new chapter is coming. I'm finally at a point in my life where I have time and energy to create new things and push my creativity. And I'm so beyond excited to share it all with you. Happy New Year! ✨

[montammil]

I did the character headcanon generator for some inspo, and ended up wanting to put these down as canon for my characters, so here's some little facts about them I got from it!

Marshall Jackson:

Marshall is tumblr famous.

Marshall sucks at saying tongue twisters.

Marshall has a roblox account.

Lawrence Cross:

Lawrence likes to eat straight coffee beans.

Lawrence wakes up on November 1st and starts decorating for Christmas.

If someone they knew commited a crime, Lawrence would cover for them.

Sadie Mills:

Sadie is a horrible liar.

Sadie has an embarrassing old deviant art account.

Sadie makes your mom jokes.

Nathan Lam:

Nathan has an incredible long-term memory but an awful short-term memory.

Nathan gets road rage.

Nathan voted sans in the tumblr sexyman poll.

Charlotte Stephenson:

Charlotte is an ugly crier.

Charlotte is very good at walking in platform heels.

Charlotte can play the piano.

Harper Novak:

Harper is awful with kids.

Harper doesn't own a single pair of matching socks.

Harper has an incredible short-term memory but an awful long-term memory.

Rowan Burnett:

Rowan is a middle child.

Rowan is great with kids.

Rowan's favourite subject in school was English.

Sawyer Manning:

Sawyer desperately needs a hug but doesn't know it and refuses to ask for one.

Sawyer sleeps in until noon.

Sawyer almost drank the lethal dosage of caffine once.

[sleekervae]

So Good [0.6]

Masterlist

pairing: KNJ x rockstar!oc

A/N: Hi everyone, sorry I've been away for a while. School is bogging me down and life had been wild, in both good and bad ways. I want to continue writing and despite my chronic writers' block, I ain't giving up too easily. Thank you all for your patience and trust that I will be updating more stories as I go!

word count: 2016

Purple text is Korean

Kimberly jumped when her phone suddenly rang beside her, disturbing the small nap she was trying to squeeze in her bunk. She grumbled as she turned over in the small enclosure, feeling around in the sheet while being rocked over and over in the tour bus.

"Kimberly! Your phone's ringing!" Maria suddenly shouted.

Kimberly rolled her eyes, "Gee! Thanks Maria!" finally she was able to fish it out, her heart leapt when Namjoon's name flashed across her screen. It would've been close to midnight in Seoul, and he hardly ever called her this late.

Pulling her bunk curtain tighter to its hook, she answered the call, "Hello?"

A voice cleared from the other end, unfamiliar to her, "H-Hey, Kimberly! How are you?" the voice was slurred, too light to be Namjoon but the twinge of his accent was slightly eerie.

"Um... who is this?" she asked, a pit of anxiousness bubbling in her gut. From what Chloe had told her, Korean idols had their contacts guarded mercilessly, and if Namjoon got in trouble for talking to her...

"Eh? It's Namjoon, what're you talking about?" the voice tittered, a faint song playing in the background. She relaxed only a little, her curiosity growing.

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"... what tattoo do I have on my left forearm?" she asked.

The voice paused momentarily, grumbling to himself for a quick answer when she suddenly heard a more familiar exclamation.

" -- Dangsin-eun mwo haeyo? Nae jeonhwagileul jwo!"

The voice on the speaker suddenly changed in pitch, half-laughing-half-crying as he shouted, "Joesonghabnida! Joesonghabnida! Dowajuseyo!" and a scuffle ensued.

Kimberly was partly amused, partly concerned, waiting curiously until she heard Namjoon panting into the speaker, "I saekkiya! -- Kimberly? Kim?"

"H-Hi! Namjoon?"

"Hi," he panted, giving a short sigh, "I am so sorry about that,"

"No, no, that's okay," she chuckled, "Are you okay?"

"I'm good, I'm good. My friend's being an idiot," he replied. Kimberly could still hear laughter in the background, she found his startle quite endearing.

"It's okay, I promise," she replied, "Who was that, anyway?"

"Jackson. He's a friend of mine -- if not more of a shit disturber," he replied.

"It's nice to meet you, Kimberly!" he called out. Namjoon grumbled back in Korean, a cuss word she figured.

She laughed merrily, "Aw, tell him I say 'hi',"

"And boost his ego even more? Nah," he simpered back, "I hope we didn't disrupt anything,"

"You're all good," she assured him, "We're on our way to Krakow right now so we have an off day,"

"Oh, fantastic. Are you resting up?"

"As much as I can in a moving casket," her attention diverted to a furious hissing from the common area.

"Shit! I need help!" Chloe suddenly shouted, followed by the pattering of socked feet.

"Fucking shit, Chlo! We agreed not to heat up Alfredo sauce in the microwave!" Charlotte scolded.

Namjoon laughed, hearing the commotion from the end of his speaker, "Everything okay over there?" he asked.

Kimberly sighed heavily, shaking her head, "Oh, everything's fine. If I'm quiet enough they may believe I've gone back to sleep and won't bother me," she chuckled quietly.

Maria called from outside the bunk, "You know we can hear you, Kim!" she scolded, "... Hi Namjoon!"

"Hi Namjoon!" Charlotte echoed a moment later.

"Hi RM!" shouted Chloe.

Kimberly tittered, "The girls say 'hi',"

"Tell 'em I say 'hi' back -- what?" his voice drifted off, "Of course she is! Yeogiseo naga!" and there was another short scuffle over the speaker.

"What is going on over there?" Kimberly asked, her curiosity peeking, just imagining what bafoonery was taking place in Seoul.

Namjoon sighed, clearly dejected as muffled sniggers slipped out beside him, "Jackson wants to know if you're pretty. I'm so sorry,"

Kimberly had to press her lips to keep herself from laughing, her cheeks burning with the red smile curling across her face. She choked back a giggle as she answered, "I mean -- I think I am," she shrugged bashfully.

"Then what the hell are you doing with a guy like Namjoon?" Jackson suddenly called, laughing then as Kimberly could imagine the glare Namjoon was throwing his way.

"Ib damul-eo," Namjoon grumbled.

"Dangsin-eun nae sangsaga aniya," Jackson scolded back.

Meanwhile out in the common area, Charlotte and Chloe couldn't help but overhear Kimberly's conversation, all the while Charlotte was mopping up sauce on the counter and Chloe was cleaning sauce off of the floor.

"I think she talks to him more than talks to any of us," Chloe noted.

Charlotte simpered, "They talk maybe once or twice a week, Chloe,"

"Over voice, at least," Chloe replied, "... You think Darius knows that they talk that much?"

"I'm not even gonna go there," Charlotte replied, hoping that Kimberly couldn't hear them, "I told her to be careful from the get,"

Chloe shrugged back, "I'm just saying -- if Luke was away and you found out he was talking to a super famous pop star a few times a week, wouldn't you be worried?"

Charlotte held pause, staring down at the greasy countertop as Chloe's words sent a shiver through her. She knew exactly how she would feel if she was in a similar situation. Nevertheless, she turned back to Chloe, mustering as much confidence as she could.

"As far as I know, Kim's not doing anything wrong -- so I'm not gonna' lambast her for what we think could be happening,"

Chloe knew Charlotte didn't like confrontation, she never had and was extremely uncomfortable if she had to confront one of their friends. But Chloe wasn't stupid either; she was fearful that Kimberly was falling down a hole she nor the girls couldn't dig her out from.

Kimberly meanwhile was none the wiser to her friends' conversation, "What're you guys doing?"

"We're just sitting around, having a couple beers," he replied.

"With the other guys?" she asked.

"Nah, they're out doing their own thing tonight. Believe it or not, we don't always spend all our time together," he chuckled, hoping on the off chance he didn't sound condescending.

"Fair. Spend too much time with someone, some heads are gonna roll," Kimberly replied, then she brought her voice to a whisper, "Hence I'm hiding in my bunk so I don't have to deal with the Alfredo sauce from hell,"

Chloe suddenly hollered out, "I heard that Kimberly! Stop flirting with Namjoon and come help me!"

Kimberly rolled her eyes, pulling back the curtain and sticking her head out of her bunk, "We're not flirting!" she called back.

Charlotte sighed after, crouched down over a messy spill on the floor. A zesty, garlicky smell was beginning to fill the bus, "We just need a mop," she muttered, "Maria! Open the window in the back!"

"Already on it!" and Maria hopped out of her bunk.

Kimberly huffed, though Namjoon chuckled from the other end, "I take it you gotta go?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry," she replied.

"Don't be sorry. It's Jackson's fault, anyway," she could hear Jackson snap something back in Korean, much to her amusement.

"It's always a pleasure talking to you, don't be silly," she simpered, "I'll talk to you later, go have fun!"

Namjoon said his goodbyes and hung up the phone, his eyes lingering at his lock screen a moment more. Jackson meanwhile continued to sit and smirk up at his friend, much to Namjoon's annoyance.

"What are you smirking at?" he asked as he sat down, "And how did you know my passcode?"

"Don't be mad because I know your mom's birthday," he replied, "How long have you been talking to Kimberly?"

"A few months. She's nice," Namjoon muttered quickly.

Jackson scoffed, "So was Lim Ju-eun, she seemed very nice in your old posters,"

"Oh, leave me alone," Namjoon elbowed him softly, "She's my friend, nothing more,"

"I believe you," Jackson nodded, "I also believe that if you had the opportunity to date, you would snap her up in a minute,"

"She has a boyfriend, anyway," Namjoon pointed out.

Jackson sighed, "But none of that's not stopping her from rattling around in your brain all the time,"

Namjoon rolled his eyes, deciding to reach for another beer off the table, "Jackson, whatever you're about to say, just leave it alone,"

"I'm not trying to tease you, Joon," he said, his demeanour shifting to a serious undertone, "I'm worried for you,"

"Why are you worried for me?"

"Because you're falling for somebody you clearly can't have, and if that affects your performance --"

"It's not going to affect my performance, or my duties," Namjoon assured, "I told Jin and the others; Kimberly is my friend and any affection I have for her -- or for anyone -- isn't a priority. You would do the same if it was you,"

Jackson shrugged back, his gaze averting off, "I used to think that way..." he muttered.

Namjoon cocked a brow, staring long and hard at Jackson, "Hold on -- did you meet somebody?" he asked curiously.

Jackson nodded slowly, "You can't tell the other guys,"

"I won't," Namjoon assured him.

"Haneul -- or Hannah, I guess. I met her last year, she's a student at Yonsei, and we both went to the same restaurant for lunch," he explained.

"-- Have you spoken to her?" Namjoon asked.

"A couple of times. She's a little mean at first, she absolutely hates k-pop music" he chuckled, "But the more I got to know her, the more I really came to like her. And I think she came to like me, too," the way he spoke was so wistful, words grasping for the moment as though it had just happened. Namjoon had never seen Jackson so sentimental before, he hardly ever discussed his personal life like. They were both a lot alike in that rhetoric.

"So, what happened?" Namjoon asked, feeling the 'but' of his story creeping like a stark chill.

Jackson shrugged listlessly, "I had to let her go. I knew I couldn't have her, and it wasn't fair to make her wait for God knows how long until I could renegotiate my contract," he replied, "She said she understood, but I think I fuelled her hatred of this industry even more. She hasn't replied when I tried to check in with her, I know she probably needs so space to heal but... it sucks,"

Namjoon nodded slowly, "But you still think about her?"

"More than I would like," Jackson admitted, "I had a lapse in judgement; and I know I did the right thing in the long term, but I can't help but feel I wasted her time. I never should've gotten involved with her in the first place," he turned back to Namjoon, "My point is that I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. As much as it paints me to admit, BTS is quickly becoming a global sensation and you can't afford to have your heart broken over someone you know you can't have. Don't get attached, you have to keep your focus,"

"I am focused," Namjoon assured him, "Kimberly is just my friend, and I am gonna make sure we do what we need to do to keep us all on track," he then placed his hand on Jackson's shoulder, giving him a small squeeze, "... That doesn't mean I can't feel for your situation,"

Jackson simpered, popping the beer can open and taking a swig, "It's better this way for us. Maybe one day it'll be different, but for now..." he shook his head, "We're stuck with each other,"

Namjoon took his own can and clinked with Jackson's, "I'll cheers to that," and he took a swig. His gaze shifted again to his forearm, remembering the pressure of the pen, the swift and sharp markings when Kimberly scribbled her number on his skin. He wasn't sure why he was so full of hope back then, blinded momentarily for what could have been though he knew fully well he could never have her. Jackson was right, he had to detach himself before she consumed him, or worse he consumed her and broke her heart.

After all, April was right around the corner...

[wordywarriorwrites]

Calendar Girl: July

Series Masterlist: Calendar Girl Joel Miller Masterlist Author: @wordywarriorwrites​ Summary: The story of how Joel Miller falls in love again, told over a series of months. Series Warnings: NSFW. Smut. Language. Violence. Discussions of rape and consent. Alcohol consumption. Age-gap.

July

Fourth of July. An American celebration widely ignored since the outbreak, but not wholly forgotten, and in Jackson, it was a pretty big fuckin’ deal. 

The rich, sweet smoke of barbecued meat. Potato salad, watermelon, and corn on the cob. Tall glasses of sweetly sour lemonade and cold beer. Peals of laughter and shouts of triumph over games of tag, cornhole, and capture the flag. There was even live music, with a duo singer and guitar player, whose nostalgic tunes coaxed people into dancing.

After eating together, Joel encouraged Ellie to hang out with her friends and girlfriend, and as he watched her run off, he couldn’t help but smile. Ellie was a smart, good kid, and though she wasn’t biologically his daughter, he thought of her as his. She hadn’t replaced Sarah – never could or would - but she’d carved out a space for herself in his heart, and he was so damn proud of her.

“I have a beer and a spiked lemonade,” you announced. “Which one do you want?”

Jostled from his thoughts, he blocked the sun with the back of his hand as he looked up at you. A black tank top, a pair of jeans, and your trusty boots – you looked good without even trying, and Joel wanted to strip you naked and fuck you in the sunshine at the very picnic table he was seated at. 

You eased down next to him and took a sip from each cup, “Fine, I’m drinkin’ both.”

“Hey, now,” he protested as he snagged the beer from your hand. “Play nice.”

You winked. He leaned forward. The kiss lingered, but didn’t get out of hand, and Joel was so damn content in your presence that he hadn’t felt the need to bug out of the party early. Wrapped up in the comfort of companionable silence, he simply watched you as you bobbed your head to the music, sipped your drink, and tossed back wayward game pieces.

“I miss fireworks,” you sighed.

Joel quirked a brow, “You just miss being entertained.”

“I can entertain myself just fine, thank you very much,” you sassed back. “In fact, I may entertain myself tonight – alone. Without you.”

“Nah, you wouldn’t do that. Not to yourself or to me.”

“Wanna bet?”

Joel rolled his jaw. You pressed the tip of your tongue to your top lip. He stared at you, you stared right back, and the most intense game of chicken he’d ever played ensued. He honestly couldn’t say who would’ve broken first because Ellie bounded over with Charlotte in tow and asked him if he’d play something for her.

“Please,” she cajoled. “They said you could use their guitar.”

“So, you asked them before you asked me?” he quipped.

Charlotte grinned widely, “She’s clever, isn’t she?”

Joel glanced at Ellie. Noted her bright, excited eyes and hopeful expression. Then, he looked at you. Clocked the way you leaned forward with anticipation. He knew he’d spare himself a lot of embarrassment if he refused, but if he didn’t agree, he knew he’d never hear the end of it.

“One song,” he relented, finger raised as he stood. “That’s it.”

He made his way toward the musicians, with you, Ellie, and Charlotte in tow, and waited for their song to end before he approached. They both seemed happy to let him cut in – especially the singer, who needed a rest – and once the guitar was handed over, they exited stage left.

“I’m a bit rusty,” Joel admitted as he sat down and plucked the strings. “But uh, here it goes.”

Ellie sat right down on the grass. You and Charlotte followed suit. He thought for a few moments before he cleared his throat. Slow tunes had always been more his speed, and though he fumbled it a bit at the beginning, he managed to get his mouth and hands to cooperate. He concentrated, kept his eyes down until the very end of the song, and when he played the final chord, the sudden applause started the hell out of him.

Joel jerked his head up. Scrambled to his feet. Felt heat climb up his neck and cheeks as people whistled and cheered. Ellie and Charlotte whooped it up the loudest. He awkwardly waved, hurriedly handed the guitar back to its owner, and shuffled away from the gathered crowd as fast as he could. After Ellie squeezed his ribs until they cracked, she grabbed Charlotte’s hand, and headed toward the games.

He stepped toward you and cupped your tear-stained face in his hands, “You cryin’?”

“No,” you blurted. “I got a bug in my eye or allergies or something.”

Joel grinned. Asked you if you wanted to dance. You smiled and nodded, and once he’d guided you to an uncluttered corner, he pulled you into his arms and pressed his lips to your temple.

“You smell good,” he murmured.

“I washed my hair today. Even brushed it, too.”

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

You scoffed and pinched his side. He chuckled and held you tighter. When the song ended, you went one way to socialize with some friends, and he went the other to check on Ellie and visit with his brother. You orbited each other like planets, but eventually, Joel surrendered and allowed himself to be pulled in by you. Seated side-by-side, you enjoyed a few more drinks, watched the sunset together, and all the while, he wished you were alone.  

With every breath, with every second that passed, Joel craved you. Wanted to sink his teeth into the pulse of your throat and press his lips against the curve of your shoulder and taste the sweetness of your mouth. He pined for you. Adored the tiny freckle on your chin and the sound of your laugh and the way you put him in his place.

Eventually, he’d had enough of people and noise, and while you stayed to hang out for a bit longer, he meandered away from the celebration toward the peace and quiet of the barn. Buzzed and relaxed, he took in deep pulls of fresh air, and finished what remained of his beer.

When Joel reached the paddock, the goats and chickens greeted him quite happily, but as he offered empty hands instead of extra food, they ditched him. Several of the more curious horses came up to the fence to say hello, and even Beau and Bella – who’d been grazing and grooming – trotted over to visit. 

The stars had come out, and with them came a renewed scent of smoke that indicated bonfires had been lit. You joined him not long after, the crunch of gravel and Bella’s whinnying announcing your arrival. When you reached the fence, she galloped over, and you gave her your attention until she wandered off.

“Ellie went home. Said she was sunburnt and tired,” you murmured as you leaned your head against his shoulder. “Are you ready to go, cowboy? Or do you wanna hang here a bit?”  

He pressed his nose to your hair and smiled, “M’ready to go.”

Crickets chirped. A cow mooed in the distance. The chickens ruffled their feathers as they bedded down for the night. The leaves swished as the cooler night air blew through them, and the more distance the two of you put between yourselves and the party, the more relaxed Joel became.  

You walked slowly, with your arm around his waist and his curled over your shoulder. You admitted to crying – told him the song had made you weepy, but you’d liked it. He told you he hadn’t meant to make you cry, but was glad you enjoyed it all the same. The front porch came into view, and Joel allowed you to get over the threshold and all the way into the kitchen before he wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you like he’d been wanting to all day.  

“Should we entertain each other?” he asked as he pushed your shirt up and over your head. “Or should I pack up my toys and go home?”

You yanked his belt from its loops and forced him down onto a kitchen chair, “Quiet, you.”

He grinned. Worked open the button on your jeans. While you peeled them off, he took care of his own pants, and had just shoved them and his boxers down to his calves when you, bare from the waist down, wrapped your hand around his cock and stroked him to full hardness. Before he could even reciprocate, you straddled him, and took him inside hard and fast, all the way to the base.

It was intense – the way you tugged his hair, forced his head back, and exposed his throat to your lips, teeth, and tongue. It was erotic – the way your ass smacked against his thighs as you bore down and fucked his brains out. It was enthralling – the way your body arched, all powerful and sensual, and when you took him over the edge with you, he was pretty sure he blacked out for a moment, or at the very least, had gone cross-eyed.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Joel groaned as his cock continued to twitch. “What the hell was that?”

“I wanted fireworks. Remember?”

You smirked, and when he dared to ask you how it compared, you kissed him, and followed it up with a deadpanned, “Ooh. Aah,” that made him laugh.

Next Chapter: August

[copiouscouples]

Finished Rise of the Pink Ladies...

Random Thoughts in Yays and Boos and Wuts and Mehs

Yay: Hazel’s a Pink Lady. Great way to end the season. Great pay off.

Boo: That whole wedding story line. It was unnecessary and dumb.

Wut?: Jonathan Nieves leaving and being photoshopped into scenes. 

Yay: Setup for a second season with the other schools and Zuko’s big brother (I guess?). But please, please, please stop with Jane and her love life - I cannot find the will to care.

Boo/Yay/I Can’t Decide: Nancy’s treatment of Potato was not cool. Female empowerment isn’t disregarding your partner’s feelings and doing what only you want because I am woman hear me roar. That’s what gets me about some feminist media - the whole my way or the highway of it all. Compromise isn’t a dirty word - it’s called not being a jerkface and being a part of a healthy relationship (as long as it’s not one partner doing all the compromising). I know Nancy marches to the beat of her own drum and Potato clearly appreciates that but she was putting SO many stipulations on their relationship and really being inconsiderate of him a lot. I’m very happy about her owning up to that but I didn’t really like how she was going to end things with him at the carnival without discussing how they might make it work. She came off as very selfish in her behavior and inconsiderate of his feelings. In the end, they’re still my favorite couple and I’m glad they worked things out but I hope we get to see her play a more emotionally supportive role to him in the future like she did with Cynthia.

Yay (Kind Of): When I first saw the play scene from Hazel’s POV with Buddy dipping out, I thought he was jealous of her getting the limelight. But then we got episode 7 from the boys’ POV and you saw that Buddy was just reeling from his daddy drama. I was glad he wasn’t being petty. He was just hurt.

Meh: Wally and Hazel are kind of cute, but I’m a not so secret shipper of her and Buddy. I don’t like love triangles (which this show seems to be a fan of) so I hope if we get a second season that this issue gets resolved fast.

Meh: Gil is a cutie, but I am not feeling any of the girls he’s been paired with thus far. I don’t really like him and Olivia together.

Wut?: Who does Dot like? They teased it but never told us.

Boo: Where’s the sizzle? Please get Shonda Rhimes to this show stat to create some chemistry between these people. For so many romantic relationships, none of them bring the heat. Everyone’s different, but for me, for a show to be fully satisfying, I have to have a couple that I ship. That I can’t wait to see kiss and see those moments of being in love. It’s why I adored Queen Charlotte and Jackson/April on Grey’s or Andy/April on Parks and Rec.

Boo: This show reminds me a little bit of Girls in the fact that the male characters are more intriguing than the women. Ray and Adam were more interesting/likable than the main characters. I feel like it’s similar for this show. Potato and Shy Guy in particular I want to know more about. I love the women as a whole group and their times together, but individually...I’m getting less and less interested especially with Jane and  Olivia who’ve kind of become one note. Nancy (and Cynthia to an extent), I feel like is the only character who’s really grown. I feel like she embodies adolescence the best in regards to not knowing what you want but slowly figuring things out and maturing. I’ve really enjoyed her journey (just be sweeter to Potato, please and thank you).

Wut?: So is this show getting a second season or not? 10/10 would watch.

[blcssom]

the worst part is that she’s felt the draw all night— like an invisible string reeling her closer and closer to a door she’d sworn was closed. but she’s able to make it through on the idea that, no matter their history, the feeling was one-sided. so when he shatters that illusion, pulling her in so close she can hear the way his heart is racing at the same rhythm as hers, charlotte freezes. “—— jackson, i—” but the words fall short as she realizes she has never lied to him. even when it had been excruciating to share her feelings, he was the one person who knew all of her secrets. “—- i do. want you, i mean.” 

closed starter for @blcssom​ based on this!

             maybe he drank a little more than he thought, or maybe the last few weeks of seeing her after not seeing her since college was making him do stupid things. the hotel lobby filtered empty, and jackson had gotten up to walk her to her room (”just to be safe!”) but something in him stopped in the middle of the hall. he took her hand and pulled her up against his chest. “tell me you don’t want me right now and i’ll let go,” he muttered, heart beating rapidly within his chest.

[vileintcnt]

💕✨

Send 💕 and I will tell you some muses of ours I think could work as a ship.

presley alden + blaire irvine - i just think they'd have so many antics...??? best friends until one day blaire takes a joke too far and then presley just has to make out with her

waylon 'lonny' buffet + chloe prescott - i love mikey and chloe sm but like...why do i think it would be so fun with lonny being like a blushing cowboy and her being the prettiest thing that's ever stepped foot into his small town and just being like, flabbergasted that someone that hot even exists?? also like...voyeur vibes of him catching her filming content

ravi sidhu + liv harrington - student professor vibes, him never intending on acting on his desire but they bump into each other outside of a lecture and they get to talking and hes just entirely smitten

sid carpenter/puck spence + allie sheridan - absolute reprobates both being obsessed with the super hot groupie thats started following their band both trying to impress her???????

natalie abbot + sylvia gilmore - i don't even have to explain this honestly like, maybe she goes to the same college as harrison/charlotte and they've pissed her off so shes like kay im gonna fuck your mom then

candace jackson + shane ledger - ditsy airhead blonde who doesn't get why shane is being mean to her <3

but yk me and i'd literally make a pairing for every single one of your muses because we make ✨magic✨sooooooo

[cinnamongorll]

a fragile line - chapter 37

read on ao3! (173k words) | previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC

Series tags: extreme slow burn, age gap, older man/younger woman, protective joel, jealous joel, hurt/comfort, pov third person, mutual pining, angst, sexual tension, friends to lovers, canon-typical violence, feral joel, parental abuse, eventual smut.

Series synopsis: three years ago, Juliet escaped her father's religious survivor camp, ending up in the Boston QZ. Juliet created a life for herself in Boston, desperate to forget the trauma of her upbringing. One day, Juliet arrives home to find a mysterious letter which forces her to return to her home town. Juliet can't travel the harsh post-apocalyptic landscape alone, so she enlists the help of the grumpy and, at times, frightening man she works alongside: Joel Miller.

Word count: 2.6k

at last, we have reached the final chapter of 'a fragile line'! thank you so much for reading, I've had the best time writing this over the past year ❤️

I will also be writing an epilogue for this story and it'll be up soon - much love xxx

Juliet’s POV:

Juliet’s eyes blinked open to the sound of gentle snoring.

She allowed her head to roll to the side, following the sound, until she found its source: Joel Miller, the man she loved, the man who loved her, asleep in a chair beside her bed. He looked exhausted, the lines on his face were more pronounced and his jaw was clenched in a way that told Juliet he wasn’t truly resting. 

Juliet inhaled a slow aching breath as her gaze slid back to the ceiling. She wondered how long Joel had been sitting beside her, how long she had been looked after, and guilt threatened to swell in her chest.

Her thoughts were cut off when the door to her old bedroom opened and Ethan’s head snuck through the gap, his eyes widened when he saw that Juliet was awake and he pushed the door open further and stepped into the room. His steps were careful and quiet as his gaze darted to the man sleeping beside her and his shoulders relaxed slightly.

Ethan rounded the bed and stopped beside her before he dropped silently into the other chair. Juliet turned to him, swallowing rough as she prepared herself for bad news.

“How are you feeling?” he asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

Juliet inhaled a sharp breath and allowed herself to assess her injuries. Thanks to the medication Charlotte and Ethan had brought with them, the pain from her lost finger had settled to a dull ache which flared only when she moved it. The infection had cleared up too, and Juliet had woke with a feeling of renewed clarity in her mind, the fuzziness was gone. She glanced at Joel, her eyes skimming over his face and she watched for a moment as his chest rose and fell. Charlotte had treated his head and had been monitoring his concussion closely, Juliet had watched him squirm as Charlotte disinfected his wound and told him to take it easy.

Juliet remembered the sight of him in the basement and she flinched internally. 

She turned back to Ethan who was watching her with a curious, if not worried, expression.

“Better,” Juliet answered finally, her lips tilting upwards in an effort to convince him. 

Ethan nodded, then his gaze dropped to his hands.

“We need to get out of here,” he declared, looking up at her. “Matt’s been patrolling the town and, with John dead, the people who are left are scared and hungry. Your stunt with the bodies on the front porch has been working so far but we’re days if not hours away from a group of them gathering together and coming for us.”

Juliet’s heart jumped, and she moved to sit up.

“Okay,” she murmured, processing everything Ethan said. Juliet winced when she remembered herself dragging those bodies to the porch as a brutal, violent warning to the town not to mess with her. “Let’s go then, we have the horses you came here on, we can head back to Jackson just now.” 

Ethan blinked at her, then his eyes narrowed.

“Are you sure Jackson’s where you want to go?” he questioned, and Juliet couldn’t help but notice an edge to his tone.

She stared back at him, her head tilted to the side. “Of course I do, what do you mean?”

“Just making sure you’re not going to leave again,” he replied with a shrug as he straightened his spine. 

Juliet’s breath caught as guilt wrapped itself around her throat. She had explained to Ethan, when she first woke, why she left, why she had to return here. He had been shocked, he couldn’t really understand her decision to leave and Juliet wasn’t surprised as, despite everything that her friend had been through, he always knew who he was. Ethan was smart, caring and unwaveringly positive. 

He was the bright sky on a clear day, and Juliet was the dark cloud.

Her whole life, Juliet had been an empty space, a person who was hollow inside. Elijah had filled the cavity inside her with hatred and fear, and Juliet had believed that she had no choice but to be the person he moulded her to be: timid, scared… violent. Danny’s words had hollowed her out again, leaving her as another blank slate, ready to find out who she actually was - not who she was moulded to be.

Juliet turned to Joel, quickly running her eyes over his face. He would follow her anywhere, she knew he would.

She inhaled deeply as she thought about her time in Jackson: the twinkling lights in the mess hall, the Christmas tree she decorated with Ethan, the conversations she had with Charlotte, her patrols with Matt…

Juliet lay in her childhood bed, in the house she grew up in. But it was also the house where she was abused, the house where she was nearly killed, the house where Joel beat Elijah to death.

This wasn’t home, it never was. 

Juliet’s eyes met Ethan’s. “I don’t expect you to understand why I came back here,” she started, and reached out her good hand to clasp around his. Ethan’s eyes shot to her face. “You got me out of here years ago and I can never express to you how grateful I am for that. And then, when I came back, you almost got yourself killed to get me out again,” Juliet paused, blinking away tears that blurred her vision. “I know what it cost you both times, it’s a debt I can never repay.”

Juliet took another breath. “You’re angry at me for leaving Jackson, for coming back here.” 

Ethan shifted in his chair, but he didn’t let go of her hand. 

“I deserve it,” she murmured, then raised her chin, meeting Ethan’s eyes again. “But even when I left here there was some part of me that wanted to come back,” Juliet confessed, her heart pounding. “Charlotte said that I have PTSD, and maybe some variant of stockholm syndrome, whatever that is,” she shrugged. “I thought I was going to end up like him. He only ever taught me how to hate, not to love and I … I thought that maybe being away from here was only delaying the inevitable.”

Ethan squeezed her hand.

“So when I found out that… that I didn’t actually belong here, that I had parents and a life before this. Ethan, I’m sorry but I had to know if it was true.” 

Juliet looked around the room, her gaze settling on the handcuffs attached to the radiator behind Ethan. The horrors of her childhood threatened to rise in her throat, but she swallowed it down.

“My life was stolen from me, I know that now,” Juliet choked out. “I want to go back to Jackson, I want to make a life for myself, I want a home, I want…” she turned her head to look at Joel as he slept. “I was just surviving before, I want to live.”

Ethan huffed out a breath, then stood and enveloped her body in a tight, warm hug.

Juliet lifted her good hand to wrap around his back as the tears that had threatened her vision finally began to fall. 

“I understand,” Ethan murmured in her ear as he squeezed tighter, not willing to let go yet. “You aren’t Elijah, you aren’t what he did to you. You’re Juliet, you’re my best friend, and I love you.”

Juliet dropped her forehead to his shoulder as his words settled in the most hollow parts of her heart, taking root and healing some of the damage. 

“Thank you,” she murmured against his shirt. “Thank you for coming back here, for saving me again.” 

Ethan pulled back and looked down at her, his lips were curved into a soft smile. 

“You saved me, so I saved you. That’s how this works,” he said, then leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

Juliet’s eyes followed him as he moved back and stood, straightening his back as he ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes were rimmed with red. 

“We’re leaving in an hour,” he announced in a thick voice. “Even with the horses, it’ll be a long journey so you should get ready.”

Juliet released a heavy, weighted sigh as she watched Ethan turn and walk out the door, then she allowed her head to drop back to her pillow. 

Ethan’s words had shifted something in her, she felt lighter, like he’d cut away some of the scar tissue that refused to let her heal.

“You alright?” a gruff voice asked from beside her.

Juliet’s heart jumped as she pushed herself up and turned, finding Joel sitting forward in his chair, hands clasped and his eyes locked on hers.

She nodded slowly. Juliet wasn’t okay yet, but she would be. 

Joel’s hand reached up before she could notice the movement, and his fingers trailed over her cheek, collecting the tears that stained her skin and replacing them with a scorching red flush. 

“How much of that did you hear?” she breathed, her heart was pounding at the feeling of his touch.

Joel leaned back, rolling his fingers together, examining her tears on his rougher skin. Then he tilted his head up towards her and lifted his shoulders slightly.

“Enough,” he revealed in his signature gravelly voice, still thick with sleep.

Juliet turned her head, embarrassed that Joel had witnessed such a raw conversation.

“Hey,” Joel said, capturing her attention with a firm grip on her arm. “Don't do that.”

Juliet blinked at him, suddenly unsure of his reaction. She waited for Joel to take back his words from the other night, to call her selfish and shame her for coming back here, for getting him hurt.

Instead, Joel’s grip on her arm loosened and she felt his thumb begin to glide across her skin in soft, soothing movements. He had moved forward in his chair, and Juliet’s head unconsciously moved towards him. 

Joel refused to break eye contact, he demanded her full attention as she watched his jaw clench and his pupils flare.

“Tell me it was worth it,” he demanded in a low voice. “Comin’ back here, gettin’ hurt. Tell me I didn’t make a mistake.”

Juliet’s breath caught in her throat as she digested Joel’s weighted words. She could see the guilt swimming in his eyes and the doubt hardening his expression.

Was it worth it? 

Juliet looked at Joel’s bloodstained skin, then her eyes dropped to her butchered hand, her stomach dropped at the sight. The truth cost a high price, and they had paid it.

Was it worth it? 

She considered the room she lay in. It used to terrify her, it was suffocating and reminded her how weak she was. Now, as she glanced at the peeling walls and the dampened ceiling, Juliet saw the house for what it really was: a prison that didn’t hold her anymore.

She’d gotten out. 

Was it worth it?

Juliet’s eyes found Joel’s again, they were searching. She knew that he was digging in, attempting to decode the thoughts inside her head. 

Before they’d left Jackson, Juliet was pretending. She thought that if she put on a good show, if she smiled and laughed when she was supposed to, and played the part of a happy, grateful survivor, that she’d eventually feel that way. But it wasn’t real. Juliet was broken, and hurt, and frightened. 

When Joel had left her that day in that cold, Juliet thought she deserved it. Of course, he didn’t want to be with her, how could he want someone like her? Someone stained with the hatred of her father. 

Now, when she looked at Joel, and recalled the words they whispered to each other in the dark, Juliet realised that she’d been wrong. This house hadn’t broken her, her father hadn’t broken her. She’d survived this town again.

Elijah had taken her childhood from her, he had taken the life she was supposed to have, and he had erased the person she was supposed to be. But he wasn’t going to take her future. 

It had taken her too long to realise it, and it had almost cost her her life.

But she knew now.

This house didn’t scare her anymore. She wasn’t trapped here anymore. This wasn’t supposed to be her life.

Was it worth it? 

Juliet felt the corners of her mouth stretch into a careful smile. She blinked up at the man beside her, watching for a moment as he scanned her face and his expression became more puzzled.

Then she nodded. 

“It was worth it,” she whispered, and watched as the line between his eyebrows smoothed and his eyes widened.

One day, Juliet would tell Joel what Danny revealed to her just before he died. She would tell him about her parents, and how they met their end. But just now, Juliet didn’t want to think about her past. 

With her good hand, Juliet pushed the blanket off and moved her legs to the side of the bed. Joel was there, gripping her arms, helping her to her feet, brushing the hair off her forehead.

Juliet’s hand found his face again, her fingers traced the scruff on his cheek.

“I’m sorry for everything that’s happened, for everything you’ve had to do because of me,” she breathed.

Joel’s breath caught and a muscle in his tight jaw jumped. He stared down at Juliet with a hardening expression. 

“I’d do it again,” he choked out, as his finger caught a wayward curl and tucked it behind her ear. Joel swallowed rough and cupped the back of her neck with his other hand, sending a shiver down Juliet’s spine. 

“If it meant I’d be here, with you. Juliet, I’d do it all again.”

Juliet released a heavy breath as his words washed over her. She thought about everything they had been through since that night she knocked on his door and her chest tightened. 

“I would too,” Juliet replied, and she truly meant it. 

After a long moment, she lifted herself onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his, more forcefully than she had intended and Juliet had to grip his shoulder to maintain her balance.

Joel’s grip on the back of her neck tightened as his head tilted to the side and deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth with his tongue. His body shuddered with the feeling. 

Juliet responded in kind, and her good hand found his hair, pulling him towards her. She poured everything into the kiss, with her lips she told Joel how sorry she was, how grateful she felt, how terrified she was to lose him. Juliet wasn’t even surprised when she tasted the salt from her tears on his tongue.

Joel broke the kiss, breathing heavily as he pressed their foreheads together. Juliet could feel his heartbeat pounding against her own chest.

Juliet had always thought that home was a place, a trap, somewhere to run away from, to escape. But it wasn’t, and as she stood there in the house she had once called her home, Juliet realised how wrong she had been. 

Home was rough fingers smoothing her hair, home was the smell of smoke and pine, home was harsh commands and soft words in the dark. Home was a feeling deep in her chest, filling the hollowness, healing her scars.

Home was nothing like she could ever have imagined, and as she felt Joel’s hot breath burn her skin and his lips meet hers while his groan reverberated through their bodies, she knew that this was it, and that it was real.

Juliet traced his skin with her trembling finger and pulled back enough to meet Joel’s near black eyes.

“Let’s go home,” she whispered, and for the first time, the word didn’t leave a bitter taste in her mouth. 

Joel held her in his dark gaze for a long moment, just watching her, until his eyes fell closed and his lips met her hairline.

“Home,” he murmured.

_________________________

@amyispxnk @casa-boiardi @http-paprika @shotgun-shelby @weeping-werewolf @mysaviorjoelmiller @chlojoceycom @joelmillersblog @socialistmary @orcasoul @ashhlsstuff @caitlynsixxx @elli3williams

[cowgurrrl]

Omgggg Charlie. I love her. Could I please get a fluff piece of Joel having a cute little night in with her when she is tiny - mom is on patrol shift. It’s just him and nugget Charlie at home, him cooking, doing bathtime and doing HER LITTLE CURLY HAIR and just reminiscing about being a girl dad again

Charlotte Sometimes

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Summary: “Maybe our world will grow kinder eventually. Maybe the desire to make something beautiful is the piece of God that is inside each of us.” — Mary Oliver, from “Frank Marc’s Blue Horses” aka this ask [1.4k]

Warnings: talks of Tess and Sarah, Joel being the softest girl dad in the world, chronic pain, marital bliss

Joel never took care of his hair. Before the Outbreak, all his knowledge about hair was learned to protect Sarah's hair. Thanks to a lovely woman he met at Sarah's daycare, he learned about bonnets, leave-in conditioners, braids, and so much more. Joel would often come home from work with cracked and exhausted hands, but that all got washed away when Sarah sat in front of him with combs, sweet-smelling products, and hair ties. They'd listen to music together, talk about their days, and laugh as Joel worked his Dad Magic. Spending time caring for his daughter's hair was his form of meditation. 

After the Outbreak, he couldn't even look in the direction of the shitty FEDRA shampoo and conditioner without feeling pieces of him crumble and splinter like the face of his watch. He was always a rinse-and-go kind of guy, but especially so once he settled in Boston. There was always somewhere to go, something to do. He didn't have time to be alone with his thoughts, and he didn't want to. Tess washed his hair for him when he broke his arm during a shake-down. "You're killing me, Texas," she said when she brushed his hair back. She was the first person who ever cared for him the way he cared for Sarah. And it scared the shit out of him. Still, even after all those years, he remembers how she called him Texas and gave his malnourished strands attention. He remembers how she reminded him of that soft, vulnerable part of himself, and he buried it as deep as he could until he met you.

Joel never cared about his hair until Charlie was born with identical ringlets and wave patterns. The Miller Curls is the affectionate name for it. Everyone in the Miller family has had some version of The Miller Curls. Joel and Tommy's mom passed it down to the boys, and then the boys passed it down to their kids. Sarah and Camille have a scarily similar curl pattern, and Joel has given Tommy all the help to nourish her hair. So when you first noticed the tight curls forming on Charlie's head, you let Joel take the reins. 

By the time she's three, they have their own routine. Once a week, you work a night patrol shift with Maria or Ellie, sometimes Tommy, and he makes dinner. He usually makes more than is necessary for just three people, so you can take leftovers to Ellie or whoever you're working with that night, and you leave home with a full belly, Tupperware, and kisses from your favorite people. The second you're out the door, it's over. 

They chase each other around the house, color on the floor, sing loudly to whatever's spinning on the record player, and play guitar together. Well, Joel plays guitar, and Charlie just kinda makes up songs and dances. He strums to keep time with her, but she interrupts him with laughter and requests for new songs. Tonight, it's "Mommy's Song," which is what she calls your favorite Beatles song. When the sun gets low, they pick up the living room together, and Joel carries Charlie upstairs to take a bath.

He takes his time washing the marker off her hands, brushing the tangles out, and shampooing and conditioning her hair. Once she's out and in her pajamas, she sits in front of Joel and hands him the products he asks for: leave-in conditioner, spray, and cream to hold her curls. Maria and a few other parents in Jackson made their own stuff and taught Joel how to mix different oils and herbs to strengthen and condition her hair. It gives him a sense of pride, knowing he can take that extra step to show how much he cares for her. When he's done with the products, he lightly scrunches and wraps stray pieces around his finger to encourage the curl formation. 

By the end of their routine, Charlie is nodding off, her cheek smushing against Joel's knee. "Let's get you to bed, baby girl." He murmurs as he kisses the top of her head and carefully picks her up. She buries her face in his neck and wraps her arms around his shoulders, feeling nothing but safety and love as she falls asleep on him. 

When he lays her down in her bed, she doesn't immediately let go of him. She groggily blinks her eyes open to look at Joel in the moonlight shining through her window and smiles. "I love you, Daddy," she yawns and kisses his cheek. "I love when you do my hair, too." It's the last thing she gets out before rolling over in bed and closing her eyes. Joel sits there, as starstruck as the day she was born, and has to take a deep breath to stop himself from crying. 

"I love you, too, Charlotte." He says, but she can't hear him. He tucks her in a little tighter and kisses her temple again before leaving her room. 

When you get home from patrol, he's asleep on the couch, snoring with his arms crossed over his chest. You've told him repeatedly that he doesn't have to wait up for you, that you'll see him in the morning or when you crawl into bed. Nearly four years of marriage, and he still doesn't listen to you. You walk over to the back of the couch and push his hair out of his face to kiss his forehead, rousing him awake. He hums and lifts his arm to hold your hip. "If you keep falling asleep here, you're gonna fuck up your back." You whisper as he leans his head back to get a kiss.

"M'back's already fucked up." He says, his voice gravelly and deep from fatigue, and you laugh. 

"You guys have a good night?"

"The best," he says. "She told me she loves when I do her hair." 

"She did?" You gush, and he smiles softly. "I'm telling you, you've got a talent for that kinda thing." Joel Miller, hardened survivor and killer, has spent the last three years becoming a pro at handling his toddler's hair. There's a joke in there somewhere, but you're too tired to try and find it. 

"How was patrol?" He asks, and you reach for your shoulder. 

"All clear. I think I've gotta switch back to my handgun 'cause the shotgun is hurting my shoulder."

"Could be the cold, too."

"Could be how many times I've dislocated it." 

"And that one time you caught a bullet right," he trails his hand up until his thumb can press into the thick scar tissue near your collarbone. "There." He says, and you hum. You sigh and pat Joel's chest before walking over to the coat rack and shrugging your jacket off, wincing as you do. 

"Why don't you go to bed, and I'll join you after I take a shower?" You suggest, and an idea lights up his brain.

"Your shoulder gonna be alright?"

"I'll manage." 

"Y'know..." he starts, standing from the couch and waltzing over to you. His hands snake around your waist, and you raise your eyebrows at him. "A very smart lady once told me I've got a talent for doin' hair."

"I think I remember hearing that." You tease. 

"You gonna let me wash your hair for you, darlin'?" He asks, that stupid, sleepy southern drawl doing it for you every time, and you fight a smile. "To rest your shoulder, of course."

"Of course," you echo, squinting at him. You try to wrap your arms around his neck, but shooting pain stops you from getting very far. As much as you want to fight him and make him go to bed, you could also probably use the help. "You can wash my hair only if you promise to stop falling asleep on the couch when I'm on nights." 

"You drive a hard bargain, Mrs. Miller." 

"Mm." You hum. He pretends to think as his thumbs make soothing circles into your shirt. 

"I promise to try and stop fallin' asleep on the couch." 

"I'll take it." 

"Yeah?" He asks, and you nod. He kisses you and your injured shoulder, a gentle, sleepy smile on his face the whole time before he leads you upstairs and to the bathroom that still smells of his homemade products and Jane's lotion. 

Joel Miller never took care of his hair. At least, not until he had someone like you running your hands through it or daughters who needed him to care. Who would've thought that big, broody, dangerous man with the scar across his nose would be the same man to color on the floor with your baby or brush her curly hair or fall asleep on an uncomfortable couch just to make sure you got home safe? 

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