#( otp: you make me feel like i'm home again. )

[daynascullys]

TRIED & TRUE: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part Three: All Things

Oh, love, let me see inside your heart. All the cracks and broken parts, the shadows in the light... there's no need to hide.

playlist / songs ↘

FALLING SLOWLY by Steve Kazee & Cristin Milioti / It's probably no surprise that this song is on here since it's one of my all-time favorite songs, but I'm putting it here anyway because it's just SO GOOD. It has one of my all-time favorite lyrics—"you have suffered enough and warred with yourself; it's time that you won"—which is so good to think about in the context of your favorite OTP. I know Mulder and Scully would feel that about each other (and, let's be real, we all feel that about them). And even though they fell for each other the minute they met, it was also a reeeeal slow burn.

CRASHING DOWN by Elyse Myers / I'm way too delighted by the juxtaposition of "falling slowly" in love with love coming "crashing down" on them, but it's somehow both things at once so I stand by it. This was an immediate MSR song for me, it just felt so fitting. "The very first time I heard your voice, it was lightning to my soul / You said my name and looked me in the eye / that was all I needed to know about your love / It came crashing down on me" felt perfect for their first meeting, and THEN!!!! Immediately after that: "I didn't know then what I know now, but even if I did, I wouldn't change a single thing / I would do it all again for your love / to feel it crashing over me." My mind immediately went to "even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day." And then this part?? "The very first time we disagreed"—cough, the very first meeting—"I was learning about you still / Your head is strong and your heart is fierce / You don't give up, you never will on your love / It still crashes down on me." Anyway this song is MSR and nothing will ever change my mind.

HUNGER by Ross Copperman / First I must shout out one of my favorite x-files tweets because the horniness is definitely a piece of associating "hunger" with MSR (lol) but beyond that... this song! MSR! AH!! The verses especially make me think of them: "one look and I can't catch my breath / two souls into one flesh / when you're not next to me, I'm incomplete" and "oh, love, let me see inside your heart / all the cracks and broken parts / the shadows in the light / there's no need to hide." And then there's the palpable want between them—"I'm on fire like a thousand suns / I couldn't put it out even if I wanted to."

ARMS by Christina Perri / I know this was so overplayed, but again, hear me out—this is soooo them. The lyrics are so beautiful and fit them both so well: "I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown" and "I hope that you see right through my walls / I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling / I'll never let a love get so close / you put your arms around me and I'm home" and "the world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved / I never wanna leave you, but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone" and again, "you put your arms around me and I'm home." And just thinking about the way Scully feels safe enough to let Mulder hold her and how Mulder collapse into Scully and lets her hold him even though she's so little! The fact that she can be his home!! AND and and when she says "can you hold me?" I AM SCREAMING!!!!

CEILINGS by Lizzy McAlpine / This is entirely because of this beautiful video that I watched and could never get out of my head. I will never not think of them and these scenes that fit so beautifully (rain in the pilot, the parallel between them in hotel rooms). Also, even though "touch me like nobody else does" implies sex in the song, I love thinking about how it goes beyond that for Scully and Mulder—they truly touch each other in so many ways that nobody else does, literally and metaphorically.

WONDERFUL UNKNOWN by Ingrid Michaelson / This song is a long time favorite of mine, but I love finding new reasons to cry about it... and MSR certainly did that! I think this can be applied at most stages of their relationship, but it especially makes me think of the unremarkable house. This song speaks to so much of the simplicity of love ("we make bread on Sundays and the little ones are climbing up the walls / nothing last forever but the sound of love astounds me every time that it calls") and it just makes me think of MSR living a totally unremarkable life basking in each other's love (which is exactly what happens, right?). Also... "in the best way, you'll be the death of me."

RANGERS by A Fine Frenzy / This is a song that has inexplicably been one of my favorites for a long time (inexplicably because usually I relate more to the lyrics if it's a favorite), so perhaps it was just meant to be on an Emily MSR playlist. This is another song that reminds me of the unremarkable house, especially in I Want to Believe. "They'll keep seeking but they won't find us / Let's keep living our quiet lives, you and I." I'm also going to cheat and say I consider this song to be a bit of a companion to "Come On, Come Out" and "You Picked Me" (from the same album which I think I could argue is itself an MSR album) and perhaps you should listen to those too... but I was trying to keep this a reasonable length lmao. "Come On, Come Out" reminds me of a couple comments in the show (specifically, settling for a life on this planet and looking for life elsewhere) and feels like what Mulder and Scully do for each other throughout the show in both a literal and metaphorical sense. "You Picked Me" is one of my favorite love songs (platonic and romantic) and also very MSR.

TRUE BLUE by boygenius / I must give credit where credit is due: @emmiebea and @scullysconstant each sent this song to me, both about MSR but independently of one another... which I decided is a sign. And it is suuuch an MSR song!! Plus I find it delightful that there's a lyric about being born in July because that's when I was born. But back to the MSR of it all: "and it feels good to be known so well / I can't hide from you like I hide from myself" is soooo them and reminds me of the the fourth gif in this set—the idea that they know each other better than anyone else and can decode each other in a way that's just so specific to them. And then it goes on: "I remember who I am when I'm with you / your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue." My constant, my touchstone, my friend, my one in five billion... they are so fully themselves when they're together!!!! I also am forever screaming about Mulder using the phrase "true blue" in "Kitsunegari." I have no idea what to do with that information, but it matters to me.

YOU WILL FIND ME by Alex & Sierra / I liked the idea of putting "I can't hide from you like I hide from myself" before a song called "You Will Find Me." They always find each other when they're missing, whether they're physically missing or searching for some part of themselves. "You leave me room for my imperfections / when I'm a mess and you jump right in / if I drift in the wrong direction / you turn the tide and you calm the wind / anytime, everytime I get lost / you will find me."

TIMELESS by Taylor Swift / Speaking of finding each other... "I believe that we were supposed to find this / so even in a different life / you still would've been mine / we would've been timeless" and "sometimes there's no proof, you just know / you're always gonna be mine." I will never ever get over the "even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day" and "we'd been friends together, in other lifetimes, always" of it all.

SATELLITE CALL by Sara Bareilles / A few weeks ago during an ask game I said this is a song I would want to put on a playlist for both Scully and Mulder, so here we are. It's one of my personal favorite songs and one that means a lot to me and it's a message I would want to give them, but I also think this is a message they would want to give each other. And if you really want to hurt, think about it during an abduction arc or literally just any time they don't know where the other is, even for a minute (because these two are insane and it doesn't even need to be a full-on abduction arc). "This was written for the one to blame / one who believes they are the cause of chaos in everything" and "this is so you'll know the sound of someone who loves you from the ground / tonight you're not alone at all / this is me sending out my satellite call." I have always loved this song because of the imagery—the idea that no matter where you are, how alone you feel, how dark the night, I am here for you, I am sending out my satellite call to you so you know I am here and you are not alone. So take that and add it to Scully and Mulder thinking of each other when they can't physically be together and trying to be the other person's source of strength and comfort aaaand yeah. (I am also going to cheat with this song and say "I Choose You" is another Sara Bareilles song that should be on here and only isn't because I was trying to be reasonable with length, but the reason I chose this song "Satellite Call" is because it feels more unique to them—the idea of a satellite call is just especially fitting for MSR in a way that it might not be for other couples, at least to me, because satellites, little green men, all that. But this is me saying that "I Choose You" is unofficially on this list as well because I love that song and it fits them so well.)

NO BIG DEAL (I LOVE YOU) by dodie / Another @emmiebea choice that I just had to include. There are two very different ways I think of this song, but I think they both make sense for MSR. I paired it with "Satellite Call" because of the wordlessness of both songs. "You hold me like it's already said / I don't mind, I will do this dance for the rest of my life / for as long as you want." Even though it is a big deal (especially for MSR), I feel like this song fits them so well because it also isn't a big deal—their love for one another is so obvious, so matter-of-fact, that in many ways it doesn't feel like it needs to be said. It's just there. So they act like it's already been said and like it's okay. But there's the other side of this song as well (the one that I think is how most people would read it/what it more clearly is about), the part that's acknowledging why it hasn't been said (and that it needs to be explicitly said)—they're acting like it's no big deal because they both know it is. They're afraid and telling themselves it's no big deal, they just love each other. Which is soooo much of their relationship. But I think the paradox adds to the depth of this song—they're kidding themselves that it's no big deal, but it also is no big deal. It's so natural that to make it a big deal feels almost disingenuous, in a way. It's both. I could get caught in this forever because this song lives so beautifully in the grey.

TWO by Sleeping at Last / I will never ever get over this song. It might go on every OTP playlist ever, I don't care, it still fits so well and is so them! "You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat" and "No, I don't want to talk about myself / tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'til you're good as new / and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too" and "I just want to love you, love you, love you well / I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself" and "like a force to be reckoned with / a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you without any strings attached / and what a privilege it is to love / a great honor to hold you up."

I WANNA LOVE YOU FOREVER by Kate Vogel / I love the sweet simplicity of this song and the simple desire to love you forever. I think the whole song fits them so well, but there are also specific lyrics that make me think of them, in particular: "my head fits right on your shoulder, my palm fits right in your hand." Because it's true! They fit together so well!!!!

YOU ARE IN LOVE by Taylor Swift / I loved this song to begin with, of course, but I remember the first time I thought about it after seeing Scully and Mulder and feeling like I was going to combust. It's SOOOO them. "You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home, you can see it with the lights out—you're in love, true love." And even though I need to remake this, there's a reason I couldn't stop myself from trying! The part that I think about so often, though, is this verse: "one night he wakes / strange look on his face / pauses, then says: you're my best friend / and you knew what it was / he is in love." Because that's what makes me crazy!! They are each other's best friend!!!! They constantly want to be with each other!! They make each other laugh and they love each other so much and I just!! I can't even be normal about this song and explain why I love it for them, I'm just over here crying and becoming more and more incoherent about it!!!! It's fine, I'm fine. I ended on this song because it means the playlist ends with "you're in love, true love. You're in love." And at the end of the day... that's just it. They're in love, true love. [cries forever]

[beefrobeefcal]

... And Nowhere to Hide feat. Frankie Morales & f!reader

Summary: An alternate ending to All Pent Up & No Where to Go in which Frankie really blows it. To find out where this all started, start with that fic.

Pairing: Frankie & Mouse | Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 3,190

PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING Content Warnings: could be viewed as DDDNE, toxic relationship, alcoholism, broken relationship, domestic violence [not overt but could be viewed as such], hurt, drunk driving [don't do it!], ending of a relationship, body insecurity, adultery, cheating, there are no happy endings in real life bub.

Author's Notes: Even though this is an AU ending to All Pent Up & Nowhere to Go, I'm seeing this as the end of Frankie & Mouse. The original ending to that fic always felt like it didn't fit right and now that I am moving on from writing weight fics, this seemed like the right OTP to torpedo. I'm not sorry but I hope you'll forgive this beef anyway.

Thank you to @strang3lov3 for brainstorming this with me, and to @bitchesuntitled, @mothandpidgeon and @neverwheremoonchildfor their eyes and love.

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“That’s why you had to hide it then, huh?”, he yelled again, this time, sadness and hurt clearly in his voice. He didn’t know how to tell you the deep hurt he felt, thinking you were hiding seeking pleasure on your own from him; thinking you didn't want him anymore and could replace him with a fucking vibrator, “Wait till I’m not home and then fuck yourself? Don’t need me anymore?” 

You saw his body language show more than his words could say. He was hurting and had been hurting for a while. You had no clue that he was making this whole big change for you, and now you’d basically told him that after all that hard work, you’d replaced him. No, you had no idea what was running through his head. All you knew was that you were tired of being rebuffed and ignored and wanted to give yourself some much needed pleasure and release and he was mad at you for it. 

“How fucking dare you! You barely even look at me anymore – let alone touch me – and you want to give me shit for wanting to - to feel good?”, you yelled back, standing up from the bed. His face fell and his big brown eyes widened. Your emotions were getting the better of you, and you could feel the hot tears begin to flood your eyes. Your voice cracked. “What is happening, Frankie? Talk to me!” 

He said nothing. He just turned and hurried out of the room, and you heard the back door slam shut and the garage door open. You waited to hear the truck start, but nothing came. You grabbed your things from the bathroom and bedroom and settled into the guest room. 

*****

Frankie stormed out of the house, slamming the door as hard as he could on the way out. He ripped the door to his truck open and got in, choosing to forgo  buckling his seatbelt as he pulled out of the driveway. 

How could you? How could you just lay on your shared bed, looking so beautiful and untouchable while you made yourself feel so good. Without him. He tried to forget how sad your eyes were as you pulled back your hand after his rejection. His pride wouldn’t let him linger on that because his pride was not going to let him turn the truck around and throw himself at your feet, begging for forgiveness. 

He pulled up to the regular bar the group would all hang out at, and sat for a moment. Frankie pulled out his phone, expecting to see missed calls, but all that showed up on his screen was the alert from their doorbell cam, announcing his departure. 

His heart ached. He was getting healthier and back in shape and he should be happier. But he wasn’t. He was feeling worse about everything and drinking more to offset it, and even if he didn’t want to acknowledge it, a small part of him knew that this was all on him, not on you.

He wanted so badly for you to give him a sign, anything, to come back to the house and make it right. He told himself he didn’t want to go to the bar again and drink until his broken soul was numb and he knew by being here again, he was putting another nail in your relationship’s coffin.  His fingers twitched on the steering wheel, as if to let him know the bar was just right there - all he had to do was go in and he could forget all of this, at least for the night. Frankie didn’t know how long he’d sat there, but he was brought back to reality as a loud group of people exited the bar to smoke. He sighed, biting back the sick feeling making his skin feel wrong, and went into the bar. 

****

Frankie was downing his third beer when a hand came onto his shoulder.

“No Mouse?”

Frankie looked up and saw Natalie, one of Santi’s previous conquests, looking back at him. He cleared his throat and shook his head, looking back down at his beer. “No.”

He heard her pull the stool next to his out and moved it closer to him. “Trouble at home?”, she asked, sitting down. He could feel how warm her body was against his, making the ache in his chest feel deeper, reminding him that he was here and you weren’t.

“I-uh..”, he cleared his throat again. “It’s not been great.”

Her hand came up and sympathetically rubbed on his. “I’m sorry to hear that, Frankie.”

He nodded, eyeing her, then took another sip of beer.

“Well, you look great.”, she says a little too enthusiastically for Frankie, and he only sighed in response. 

“Look, Natalie. I’m not gonna be great company. I just wanna cool down before I go back home and… and…”, he dropped his head in his hands. “I don’t fucking know what I’m gonna do. I don’t know how to-”

“Frankie.”, Natalie interjected. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. It’s pretty clear what’s going on.”

He looked up at her, brows furrowed in confusion. “You’re doing something for yourself, to make yourself feel better, and Mouse isn’t happy.”

Frankie wanted to correct her. He wanted to tell her that it was on him, that he was doing this for you and he felt like shit, and he wanted nothing more than to go home and hold the most important person in the world to him - you. 

But he didn’t. Instead, he accepted the shots Natalie ordered, and let her say horrible, untrue things about you, all because he was getting his ego stroked. 

So he said nothing, just nodded along. He didn’t put his barriers up and tell her to move her chair away. He didn’t stop her hands from touching him. He didn’t stop her from crawling on his lap, and he didn’t stop her when she kissed him.

Worst of all, he didn’t stop himself from taking her to his truck and doing everything he’d wanted to do with you to Natalie in the backseat.

*****

Natalie was still in the backseat of his truck, pulling her bra back on and Frankie was drinking down the two day old, open bottle of Gatorade to wash the taste of her out of his mouth. 

Frankie’s head was swimming. The alcohol was working its way through his system.

The dread that washed over him was sobering for a moment as he put the lid back on the bottle and caught a glimpse of Natalie in a rearview mirror, warm soft light from the street lamps illuminating her silhouette. She smiled up at him and crawled into the front seat.

“I was thinking-”

“No.”, Frankie said, sharper than he intended, shaking his head and feeling the alcohol swirl his vision. His tone softened, “This shouldn’t have happened.”

There was silence from the seat next to him. He couldn’t bring himself to face her, so he slurred in a harsh whisper again, “This shouldn’t have happened.”

There was the sound of a sharp breath followed by, “Are you fucking serious?”

“Natalie, I-”

“Are you fucking serious, Morales?” Natalie’s words were accentuated with a slightly drunken lilt and cold laughter. “Oh my god!”

He growled and looked up at her angrily. “What did you fucking expect?”

“That you’d be done with that little fuckwit and wake up!”

Frankie stared at Natalie, aghast and trying to fight the alcohol in his system and find the right words to shut her down, but she was quicker.

“Look what she did to you! Your little feeder is mad you won’t eat and kicks you out!”

Frankie sat with his mouth slightly agape. He knew that was not what happened but he couldn’t spit it out.

“Oh come on, Frankie!”, she scoffed in a laugh. “I’ve known you for how long? And since you’ve been with her, you got fat. Like fucking fat! She made you fat because she’s a freak and who fucking knows why you put up with it!”

“Get the fuck out.” His soft tone was menacing.

“Or what?”, she challenged him, her drunkenness emboldening her. “You can’t go back to that. I won’t let you, Frankie. She doesn’t deserve you! I can’t just let you go back to someone who asks to be called ‘Mouse’ over her real name! There’s something wrong with her and she needs help, acting like this is healthy to do this to you. You have to see-”

“I am doing this for her!”, Frankie shouted, cutting Natalie off. His eyes had softened and were now pleading and his voice dropped to a lower volume. “I’m doing this for her.”

“Frankie, I ca - you don’t have to defend her. I get it, and I want to help -”

“Just get out.”

Frankie’s drive from the bar was - in short - chaotic. He’d stopped at a corner store and picked up a case of beer, then drove out to a quiet look out, downing one right another the other.

He tried to drown the heavy lump of dread as he watched the sky lighten. Something told him could find a way to fix this if he could think of the right words to say to you, and if he could get the water in the shower hot enough, he could scrub Natalie from his skin like it never happened. 

The drive to your shared house was confusing. The street signs were unreadable through his tears and beer fueled haze and his stomach felt nauseous from the smell of Natalie permeating the truck cab. He couldn’t remember what colour meant stop or go, so he just drove by muscle memory alone.

*****

You’d tossed and turned all night long, unable to get comfortable. Any time you found yourself finally drifting off to sleep, the pangs of anxiety reverberated in your body, making your limbs ache and your skin feel too hot and too cold simultaneously. 

The light coming in from the window told you it was very early in the morning. The dredges of sleeplessness made your body feel heavy, making getting out of bed that much harder when you heard Frankie’s truck pull up.

As you padded down the hallway, you heard the back door open and Frankie’s heavy footsteps on the mudroom floor. You turned the corner into the kitchen and watch as he toed his boots off, looking slightly unsteady on his feet. The hair popping out from around his hat seemed more mussed and his clothing looked like he’d slept in them. He was clearly drunk and you were furious with him for driving home like that. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it as of late, and it wasn’t the first time he’d come home with his tail between his legs, drunk and pleading.

“Are you drunk?”

Your harshly spoken words cut through the heavy silence and Frankie looked up at you, eyes weary and desperate.

“Mouse - baby…” 

His words were slurred and desperate, and his voice was rough and sounded like he was in pain. He turned his body facing you and you saw that his lips looked reddened and worried and something on his neck. It was a hickey or bite mark, framed with a hint of red lipstick. Realization washed over you and you felt sick. 

Frankie reached out a hand to you, watching your face fall and pull away from him. “Baby, no, please!”

“What did you do…” Your words came out in a broken whisper and Frankie lumbered towards you, reaching out. Instead of falling into his hold, you shook your head and turned away towards your bedroom. 

“MOUSE!”

The volume at which he yelled your name made you stop in your tracks and turn around, and what you saw made your stomach churn. Frankie’s fists were clenched by his sides and he was breathing hard. His whole body seemed to be tense, like a snake would coil up before it striked, and his face was twisted in anguish and rage.

You froze. This was not your Frankie - it was just Frankie, drunk and looking the way he’d described his dad. You watched in abject horror as he moved towards you, and both of you stared into the other’s eyes.

Frankie broke the connection first with a sharp sob followed by his voice cracking with his slurred words. “Don’t look at me like that! Please, Mouse - I can explain, baby!”

You shook your head, face twisting in hurt, confusion and anger. You couldn’t keep going through the cycle of fighting, Frankie getting drunk  and having to bear the brunt of it. You stood your ground, yelling back at him, “You’re fucking drunk again - I don’t want to hear it -”

Frankie shook his head. “Just fucking listen to me!”

You couldn’t hold back the tears any longer and sobbed, “Get out!”

Natalie’s words about how you were the villain were leaching into his mind, peeling back the rational thought and fueling the insecurities he carried. You were the one who did this to him. You were the one who was forcing him to change. Everyone else could see it - why couldn’t you? You deserved what he did because now you knew how he felt every time you went out in public and other men’s eyes danced over your body and he just had to sit back like a cuck and let it happen. 

His breathing was growing rapid, and his eyes were fixed on you like a bull seeing red. As you turned to go into your room, Frankie lunged forward and reached out, grabbing your arm. He yanked you away from the bedroom door. 

“Don’t you EVER walk away from me when I am talking to you!”

“Let go! You’re hurting m - “

“You don’t get to to tell me when to leave my house!”

“Frankie! Stop it!”

You pushed him back and turned around, but his arms came around your waist, pulling you back into him. His hot, beer soaked breath painted the side of your neck and face.

“Mouse! I just-I just wanna talk… that’s all, baby.. I love you and i don’t wanna let you go-.”

He was cut off by your elbowing his abdomen, and it gave you a chance to get away from him. You ran into your room and slammed the door and locked, then stood back and watched the door shake from Frankie’s fists pounding on the other side. 

Grabbing your phone, you dialed the only number your trembling hands could.

Will answered his phone groggily and all he heard was your panicked crying and Frankie screaming in the background. 

*****

The morning was a blur. Will arrived with Benny quicker than you could have hoped for. Will and Benny had finally managed to drag Frankie from the house and out into the detached garage, but just barely. Based on the damage he’s inflicted on his friends who were trying to help, Benny was scared shitless as to what he would find on the other side of your bedroom door.

You’d finally opened the bedroom door when you’d made Benny promise that Will would keep Frankie out of the house. As soon as he was in the room with you, Benny’s concern had him kneeling on the floor in front of you, asking over and over if you were okay… if Frankie had hit you… if you were hurt… and each question, you could only shake your head. The reality of the situation was settling in, knowing this was not something you could just come back from easily and Benny held you as you cried.

Will had called Santi over to keep Frankie in place in the garage. The last thing he wanted was for him to get back into the house and see that Benny was helping you pack enough of your stuff to tie you over for a few days. 

Santi went into the house to get some water and found you standing at the kitchen table, wiping your eyes as you packed some important paperwork you weren’t sure you wanted to leave behind. He had no idea what to say, so Santi said nothing. 

He grabbed a cup from the cupboard and the pitcher of water from the fridge, leaving you in silence. 

*****

You’d left that day and moved in with Benny and his two cats - Butter and Bagels. Frankie’s infidelity had come fully to light with Natalie laying it all out for Santi and then Frankie confirmed it all, solidifying your choice to leave.

The break up had affected every part of the group, and while you assumed that you were in the right for walking away, Will shocked you when he told you to forgive and get back with Frankie.

“You don’t get it. Honey, I know he fucked up, but you’re better than that. You want loyalty, you have to be loyal, Mouse.”, he’d said sternly to you from across the table at a Denny’s. “You don’t leave a man when he’s down, and Frankie has seen some shit. You belong together, Mouse. You know that!”

It was a given that when you told Benny what Will had said, he drove straight to his house, barged in and punched Will square in the face, breaking his nose. 

Santi had sent you a bullshit text telling you that while he was sorry for what happened, Frankie was his brother and he needed to stand with him. He wished you well and said he’d be around if you needed anything. You angrily toyed with the idea of sending a curse-laden response, but instead just blocked his number and deleted the message. 

It had taken six months for you to begin to feel like yourself again. You’d joined a social group in the apartment complex and made a few acquaintances in the laundry room. You’d even switched to a new department at the accounting firm, allowing you to work from home.

Home. You had a home again. Benny’s apartment was finally home for you and you were cautiously optimistic for your future. 

The bar you’d frequented with the group was now considered non-existent to you. Benny even vowed to not darken its doorway in solidarity, so the two of you had found a new dive to hang out in. 

It was a little further out of the way, but it was quieter, and less of a bar and more of an all-night bistro. It didn’t hurt that the bartender there was easy on the eyes, what with his shorter hair, the small offset blonde patch in the front and his jewel-toned southern drawl crackling light lightning across the bar. 

You hadn’t gotten the courage to speak to him, let alone hold eye contact. At least not until one evening, you’d bravely wandered in - sand Benny - and sat at the bar instead of the booth you normally did.

The bartender turned around and put his weight on the counter, leaning slightly towards you, and with his cheshire grin, he asked, 

“And what can I get for you, little bird?”

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[batnbreakfast]

Okay I'm so curious because I see you posting about it all the time but I never know what is *actually* going on.

What does the zoom booze no doom thing entail? What are the rules? What is the origin story? Can anyone join?

I love when newer mutuals finally ask about Zoom. 😄

So my main and OTP fandom is Berena - Bernie Wolfe & Serena Campbell in the great *giggles* British hospital soap series Holby City.

Zoom, Booze, no Doom was born as an idea to actually watch Berena scenes together. At the end of 2019 this started as a bit of idle talk about how to actually do this, but you know : time zones, private lives, and so on…

Until, at the start of 2020, we suddenly all had nothing much more to do, but sit at home, watch tv, and worry about Covid.

So in April 2020 a weekly Berena Zoom rewatch started, hosted by a fandom friend. Everyone was welcome to join in. We skipped the doom scenes, which is how the name of our Zoom was born, because there was enough doom for everyone in real life, and finished our rewatch around the end of June, if I remember correctly.

The Zoom was fun! It was great to meet fandom friends at least virtually. It was a space to talk and vent and scream about our beloved on our screens. For me, it was something solid in uncertain times.

After we finished the rewatch, I didn’t want to stop zooming, so I took over as the host. We watched all kinds of media with our favs. The good, the mediocre, and the very, very bad things. We branched out. We had Halloween Zooms and Christmas Zooms. Bat’s belated birthday Zoom. Anniversary Zooms. ESC Zooms and live watch Zooms when Doctor Who or Silent Witness aired.

Covid restrictions became less and less, real life took over more space again, I started working and travelling again, but we’re still meeting up whenever I’m home (and not sick *sighs*).

We chat about our lives - there’s definitely more to tell nowadays - then we watch something together, then we chat some more, and at some point I kick everyone out of the Zoom because I’m getting tired. 😄

Some of us have been doing this since the very first Zoom. Some left, some joined in. Some take part whenever their busy life allows. A lot of us met in real life by now. We’re friends. Some of us went to the theatre together as a group from all over the world. While we all seem to suffer from severe writer’s block somehow these days, while Holby City has stopped airing for quite a while, we still hold on to our tiny, close knitted fandom corner. I feel like the Zoom changed our approach towards our fandom quite a bit.

I wouldn’t have thought that we’d make our first anniversary, but now it seems like we might reach our fifth? Five years, huh. Amazing. I love everyone taking part in this and I’m deeply grateful for the friendships grown from the Zoom.

I’ll stop being soppy now.

The rules are quite simple: Be kind. Bring joy. An interest in whatever we’re watching. A love for Berena and their actresses is a good thing.

If someone joins in for the first time, it’s nice if they chose a Zoom name that’s connected to their Tumblr, so we know who they are. Letting me know in advance is appreciated, because I tend to get anxiety if a new name pops up unexpectedly. 😌

Hope this answers your questions!

PS: I tend to avoid Zoom posts breaking containment these days (my nightmare was a containment break for a Doctor Who live watch 😂 - there’s only so many people I can host), so reblogs are off on this one.

[elis-blawg222]

November 18 - Monday

Hallooo everyonee!

Today I was struggling to stay awake and get ready for class, I was soooo tired. But I made it on time surprisingly so that's good! My classes went fine tbhhh, and nothing too interesting happened.

When I was taking my friend home from our classes like usual, she asked me if we could get McDonald's and honestly I was just looking for some excuse for what meal I had for the day, so I was like yeah sure. I got a diet coke (she paid actually lol), and then I went home after dropping her off.

I didn't know my step mom was gonna be off work today, but I brought in my empty cup and threw it away inside so at least there's proof I went to mcdonalds. I even told her I went with my friend and 'what I got.' Then I even took 2 pieces of her blueberry lemon loaf when I was going to school and I said "I'll tell you how good it is later." I ended up just giving it to my friend at school lol, but she said it was really good. I was a bit jealous, but it's not like I can't have it when she makes it another time, or it's not like I haven't had it before. If I really want it that bad I'll even make it myself LOL like it's ltrly fine.

Thennn while I was going back to school and through my afternoon class I was otp with Angel (YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY HIHIHI HIP HIP HOORAY)

Then I went homeee and I was otp with Angel (actually I still am), and I started making a food poll which was soso funnnnn. I'm still in the process of making it, it's gonna be pretty long so it'll probly take a bit, but it gives me smth to do when I'm having bad cravings plus it's smth I enjoy so it's good ^^

I went to archery practice just when Angel was going to sleep (sad face), and practice was rlly nice. I had a good time, I'm really happy I decided to do it again this year. It feels a lot different this year than last year and idk why, but it just feels so much more enjoyable.

When I was talking with my step mom earlier in the day I made sure to slip in that I wanted to ask my friend to go eat with me after practice since we haven't talked a lot at all since last school year. And she was like oh thats a good idea. So I asked my friend and took her to mcdonalds LOLLL and I just basically got her food and we talked for a bit before I took her home.

When I went home I just told my moms I got whatever my friend had actually gotten. Then my mom saw me drinking a monster and was like "less monsters and more calories"

um... excuse me..

And I was like "I literally don't know what you want from me I had 2 meals today, 2 mcdonalds"

and I did a funny/weird voice with it but likeee... I was being fr... (not rlly bc I was lying but you get the point)

And she was just like good or smth idk. also she like

pat my stomach....

...

dont do that.

ANDWHY DID MY DAD DO IT YESTERDAY NIGHT TOO. YOU GUYS. YALL ARE WEIRD STOP IT PLS.

And he omgg... guys. LMAO he was saying smth and was like "did you eat" or smth and I said yes, bc I did,,,, ltrly binged. And he was trying to get me to eat a tamale?? and I was like No I'm full I just ate so much

And he was like idk he made a face like he didn't believe me or smth and then he was like "You have to take her to the doctor" WHAT LMFAO HE SAID THAT BC I HAVENT BEEN EATING OR SMTH HE SAID LIKE THAT. BITCH I JUST ATE A PHAT PLATE AND 2 FUCKING CUPCAKES ECT ECT..

WHAT THE FUDSHVIGORJLGVAOG

anyways..

sobs. LMFAO

I'm 28 hours into my fast, I feel ltrly fine which is kindaaa.. invalidating? if I'm not on the verge of death feeling like a sickly little Victorian child when I'm fasting then I don't want it and obviously that means I'm not fucking starving enough and need to die-

OMG ALSO I FORGOTTT. this morning me and my step mom were talking right, and she was like "Eli, I just wanted to say I'm proud of you for going on your little health journey. It takes a lot of discipline that a lot of people don't have and they can't do it." "It takes a lot of discipline to not eat the food I put on the table." omg... guys. this was like... omg idk it just felt so good.

I'm watching coco rn (such a comfort movie <3), gonna go do some duolingo lessons

Total Cals: 0

Total Steps: 4.2k rn... *crashes out*

[aylaaescar]

Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am home again Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am whole again

Ayla Aescar ( @shepherds-of-haven ) and my own MC/Brightburner, Tysinno Maratis, as drawn by the wonderful and incredibly talented @serahlink. :') OTP of OTPs at the moment, I could talk about them for days if given half a chance and I'm not afraid to do it

if you're looking for an artist to commission, I can't recommend Link enough! he's amazingly talented and a delight to work with, and the money goes to the worthwhile cause of keeping his family afloat 🖤💕🖤

[midnightraine131]

Hello Raine! 💙

How have you been? I hope everything is going well for you!

For the fandom ask:

2, 5, 9, 16, 22, 24

Have a wonderful *timezone*, and wish you all the best(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Hey Anna, thank you for your ask.

It's been so long, well, uhm, I guess I'm doing just fine aside from losing a tremendous amount of weight for the past couple of months.... I can say it in a good way since all my medical results came out real good. I hope to have fewer medications after I see my doctor this week. *Cross fingers*

How about you? I hope you're having a good time (Googles your timezone) Oh, it's very early in the morning over there. Please take some rest.

Anyway, without further ado, here's all my answers.

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

I came across a headcanon about Armin being the perfect husband material like he cooks, takes care of the house chores all by himself, and so on. In most of the fics I’ve read, especially post-canon or modern AU, he’s incredibly skilled at it.

But let’s be honest—during his time as a cadet and in the elite squad, Armin practically disappears when it comes to cleaning or cooking. Refute me if you want, but we never see him holding a spatula or a broom. He probably avoided Levi’s attention altogether when it came time to clean the headquarters.

Still, I like to imagine he becomes more responsible at home as he grows older. I mean, come on—when Annie gets pregnant (assuming that happens), there’s no way he’d leave Jean, Connie, or maybe Reiner to take care of her. Especially since we know she’s pretty unorganized in their shared space. So yes, post-canon husband material Armin it is!

5. something you see in fics a lot and love

Always the shy yet vocally bold Armin, and Annie, the emotionally constipated one LOL. This dynamic has always been my cup of tea in fics.

9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

Oh, this is tricky. I can say AruHitch (?) *blinks rapidly*

I like to think they could be besties when it comes to giving love advice—advice neither of them would actually follow by the end of the day. I imagine them staying up late at night by a bonfire, beers in hand, talking religiously about their crushes and how they have no chance with them in any scenario. They’d probably call each other dummies.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

This one’s about Connie. I’ve noticed that most people in the fandom regard him as a dummy because of how the story portrays him in canon—or even how he views himself. But if you take a closer look at his character, he’s so much more than just a slapstick comic relief. Sure, he underestimates his own intelligence, but he often makes a lot of sense and has talents in his own right. I’ll fight anyone who calls him cringe. Try me.

22. the fandom friend you've known the longest

I guess I won’t count the mutuals I had back in 2013, since I don’t see their accounts anymore, and I wasn’t really trying to get involved back then. When I returned in 2022/23, I decided to start writing fics again and kept this blog active. The first people I talked to were @moonspirit and @annawayne, and they made me feel so welcome in the AOT fandom. I’m incredibly grateful for that.

They inspired me to write more, and knowing we had this little community tucked into a small corner of such an enormous fandom—it truly felt like a haven. It makes me so happy to see new people joining and contributing, whether through art, fanfics, or even as readers supporting everything we do. They welcomed them just as warmly as I was when I returned as a new writer last year, and that sense of belonging is something truly special.

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life

God, I can’t stop rambling about how much this fandom has positively impacted me in every aspect of my life. It might sound like I’m overreacting, but after I started writing Aruani fics, I realized something profound: first loves truly linger, even when you’re over 30. For me, that “first love” is twofold—my love for writing and the love I felt when I first shipped Aruani ten years ago.

Sharing that love has brought me happiness beyond words, especially when people read my fics, leave comments, or even reach out on my socials just to tell me how much they enjoy my work. It means so, so much to me. All the time, effort, and tears poured into writing every chapter feel completely worth it because of the love and appreciation from all of you.

Coming back to this fandom has been the best decision I’ve made in the past couple of years, and I truly hope it continues for many more. I’m definitely not ready to move on to another fandom, even though AOT has long since ended. I’m still holding out hope for High School Caste!

[gangles-toybox]

UglyDolls shipping chart

Whoo boy so this orginal chart has been since deleted but people have uploaded their versions of it so I frankensteined this together + added Nolan. The explanations and list of the ships will be below the cut

OTP:

Lou x Ox: Listen I know Ox calls him like a brother but in my headcanon he only says that because he has #interalizedhomophobia. Anyways, I just love love the idea of them being toxic but also sweet together...idk chat they got somethin' to 'em!! I'm just like that one cow pic that's "man" like...wow they are so terrible together!!! I ship Ribbun what do you expect, lol

Lou x Moxy: Ok this one I can actually explain with real words a bit more. Firstly I like how in the Ugly Truth song I know this is apart of the whole manipulative stuff or whatever BUTTT i do like he says she makes him tongue-tied and calls her pretty before the back-up singers go in. I know, I know that's the point...but I mean...tongue-tied is an inherently romantic phrasing for me. Also I LOVE how Moxy is in the crowd smiling like an idiot as she's listening to him call everybody else ugly and she's the only one still smiling when her and crew gets the spotlight on them. I don't think she's stupid, considering none of the rest of them are smiling at this point AND she starts frowning once his "prettttttyyyyyyyyy" goes on for a bit..long..to the point she knows he's not being serious yk? Idk I just..love the idea of her being like a fangirl over his appearance, at least, and him finding it cute. Idkkk chat!! IdkkkK!!!

Like:

Tuesday x Kitty x Lydia: Idk I like the idea of them being poly together :3

Mandy x Kitty: Idk maniuplative girlboss toxicity yes yes. I chose Mandy and Kitty specifically because Kitty seems to be the leader of the pack of the spy girls/the most outwardly mean. I wanna see Mandy make a "not like other girls" meme with her and Kitty and Kitty gets on her about it before she realizes how pretty Mandy looks :>

Mandy x Nolan: They're both outcasts/"ugly", maybe they could get together or at least be friends!

Lou x Nolan: Nolan fawning over Lou and the first scene at the academy where Nolan is like "wait you criticized us because you love me?" and then Lou is like "yes" *looks away n back* "I love all of you" like...idk I think they could be cute together

Wage x Uglydog: Idk just a thought I had during the movie when Wage was getting on his ass about trying to rizz up everybody and failing. Horribly. Maybe she could rizz him up idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Moxy x Lucky Bat: Whoo I don't know just the way he talks to her during the tea scene and the way she kisses Ox on the cheek and pats his shoulder at the end of the first song makes it feel like to me he's getting friendzoned by her. Maybe I'm looking too much into things but that's the vibe I get. Plus idk...they could be kinda cute together...

Like/Neutral:

Babo x Lou: I don't know I like the tiny micro interaction they have in the Ugly Truth song. I don't have much of an excuse for this one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Babo x Wage: I like the idea of her coming home to her supportive hubby :3 idk it just clicks in my brain

Neutral:

Ox x Moxy: Idk it just doesn't click with me. Maybe it's because while searching for Lou x Ox stuff I saw someone mention that Moxy and Ox are "related" because the kids are related even tho it's never said in the movie. Maybe I see them more as friends. Idk. I respect it though and I think it's dumb to think they're related, if we're going by that logic you couldn't ship anybody cuz they're all made in the same factory. Edit: Got the reason wrong but I still think it's stupid to think it's bad to ship them. More info here:

Mandy x Moxy: Idk again it just doesn't click with me. I get the appeal 100% since Moxy is the first one to validate her for wearing glasses. But I dunno it feels weird for Moxy to say her glasses makes her who she is instead of her..personality? Idk. Maybe I'm being petty but it doesn't click for me. Respect it though.

**Edit: Ox x Lucky Bat: Damn I forgot these fuckers. Anyways, they're..alright. I like their colors though. Idk for me there's not enough there for me to ship them

Not Really:

Lou x Tuesday: He doesn't pay much attention to her. It feels like a hopeless fangirl falling for her favorite member of a boy band (which is fitting since Lou is voiced by Nick Jonas from the Jonas Brothers lol). Idk it doesn't seem Lou cares much about the spy girls unless they can do something for him, which is fine but I don't see the appeal personally. Respect those who do tho.

Lou x Mandy: .....okkkk listen ok I can't say shit about people who ship this or why I don't ship it because I ship fuckin Lou x Nolan and Lou x Moxy ok. I'm no stranger to shipping Lou with somebody he calls ugly lol is what I'm saying. But idk...Mandy doesn't seem to like him very much and he certainly doesn't like her but there's no small moment of something for me to ship them, like the "i love all of you" scene with Nolan or Moxy being a tiny fangirl. To me, it doesn't click. Respect those who do however. Again, I am a big rarepair/crackshipper I uh can't say shit about how much a ship makes sense to me lol.

[cherrytimemachine]

Breakdown: Arcee

Boy, do I have a treat for you.

How I feel about this character: Sheeeeeeeee. <3

I haven't read any of her stories in the comics, but I enjoyed the Arcee from TFP a lot. She's got her own struggles, she broods a lot, and she has to learn to heal from her trauma over losing her previous partners and let go of the hatred that clouded her judgement at times. I vibe with her closed off defensive personality, and I think her being trans like in IDW1 and being wary of mistreatment would add another layer of depth to her personality and motivations.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Hehe, I like the Greenlight ship. Yeah yeah, I'm using the IDW1 trans identity and the IDW2 lesbian relationship. You can't stop me. I find their potential interesting, with Greenlight being a more level headed scientist who already has a community among Elita One's team, while Arcee is still trying to find her place in the Autobots when she meets her. Arcee hasn't been there for that long compared to the other Autobots, and she hasn't felt at home there yet. Granted, she hasn't felt at home anywhere she's been since her childhood, and even that was kinda shit. So when she meets this group of women, some like her, she feels like the world got brighter. And that connection she makes with Greenlight gives her something to be happy for when she wakes up in the morning.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Tailgate, Cyclonus, Prowl, Springer, Hot Rod, GALVATRON- She has a lot of people around her that she has interesting dynamics with. I mentioned this in my Cyclonus breakdown, but I think they come from similar backgrounds. Like Cyclonus, Arcee and her twin were forged with dark sparks (my current term for the Dark Energon sparks), and they both grew up in different versions of that culture. Cyclonus was part of his town's church in Tetrahex, and he grew up playing the ceremonial drums and singing holy ballads since childhood. The twins, however, were basically raised in a cult town (more on that later). Despite that, they have a shared heritage that isn't often discussed or appreciated like those of the Thirteen. Arcee and Cyclonus have a mutual respect for each other, both as fighters and as comrades. He was rather disappointed in her when she defected and left Galvatron behind. He's not one to forget a slight against his faction, and he can hold a grudge for a long time if he believes it's justified. He was still upset at her for a long time after she left, and he still was a few million years later when they met again.

Tailgate was her partner in the intelligence department. It was Prowl who took her in as one of his subordinates, as the other members of high command weren't too fond of her. He had a preference for pairing up his subordinates; one he kept from serving as an enforcer in Praxus. He intentionally paired Arcee up with Tailgate, who had recently returned from medical leave after battling Cybercrosis, which he was able to beat thanks to Pharma developing a cure. His extended absence left him without a partner, and Prowl saw it as the perfect opportunity to expose Arcee to socializing in their faction. At first, Arcee was less than pleased to be working with Tailgate. His chipper demeanor and childish attitude made her feel like more of a babysitter than an equal partner. She didn't even like kids. After working with him, she finds that he's quite intelligent, more than she gave him credit for, and he gets shit done on missions. She decided he wasn't so bad to hang out with in time. It was Arcee that originally didn't want Tailgate hanging around Cyclonus, but she was moved after a little while of Cyclonus being there.

Ok, now this is getting kinda long, so I'll just do one more. GALVATRON. Her beloved, stupid moronic twin brother. Her and Galvatron have always had it rough, even as children. The two of them grew up in what was basically a cult that worshipped Unicron as their god. Their town in the Darklands was small and rather rural, and they weren't welcome outside of their own community due to the fear around dark sparks. They always supported each other, even when no one else did. Galv was the first person to really listen to Arcee about her struggles with gender, and he still is her most vocal supporter. They fought like hell to stay together, even when outside forces tried so hard to separate them. They bicker and argue all the time, and from the outside it seems like they don't like each other, but they have an unbreakable bond. Galvatron was devastated when she left. They'd stuck together all this time, and when they finally have their own freedom and control of their lives, she ran away. He was hurt and angry with her, but he was also very sad, even if he refused to show it. They wouldn't end up meeting again face-to-face for a few million years, but they crossed paths many times, and each knew when the other was near. Both of them see their broken bond as a tragedy.

Enough of my ranting, back to the post.

My unpopular opinion about this character: They make her so dainty and thin in everything, and I'm not a fan. Like, especially with her relation to Galv, and them having a similar frame type when forged, I feel like she should be more buff. She did get a reformat done, but I feel like she would still be a bigger bot based on my interpretation of her. She was a gladiator, she's a heavy hitter, and she values her power as a means to defend herself from further hurt. Let her be buff dammit.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Let her be bros with the Wreckers again. The dynamic between her, Springer, and Hot Rod was funny. I want that, except with her as less of a generic woman character. They weren't great at writing female characters in the 80s. And I'd like them to have a friendship without there being this implied love triangle thing or whatever. One thing I appreciate is when there are explicit platonic relationships between men and women characters without the "they have to be romantically involved" subtext. That doesn't mean don't ship any characters if they work well together, but I hate forced straight relationships where the writers feel like they have to make two characters kiss because they're the opposite gender. Write people normally, please.

If you want more of these, please ask. I love doing these. I have a more in depth origin story for them, including the cult they grew up in and their tenure with Jhiaxus.

[illmetkismet]

for the character thing, the outsider?

🙏🙏🙏 thank you so much, and a please accept my preemptive apology for the essay this will probably become...

How I feel about this character: I was saving this one for last from the batch of asks I got for this game, because the Outsider is my specialest boy of all time 🥹 I played D1 and was like, 'oooh how fun and sexy, a mysterious Void god!' but then D2 happened with the whole Omelas-ass reveal and my brain melted like a caterpillar in its chrysalis into a soup of sadness and suffering from which the beautiful butterfly of my borderline-unhealthy obsession with the Outsider emerged. You can't just give me a character who's a metaphor for isolation, expulsion, and profound loneliness, and not expect me to pick him up and put him in my pocket forever. Do I project onto him? Over-identify, even? Yeah, shut up, so whaaaaaat? Aren't all of us trapped in a Void of our own, really? Who here hasn't been forever altered by the cruelty of others? And who among us isn't constantly sticking their fingers in the pie of life, poking around in there, hoping against hope to find some glimmer of goodness and hope and joy? Who isn't sick of all this shit and just wants to rest?? Ha ha as you can see I'm totally normal about him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Just Corvo. He fascinates the Outsider, he surprises him, he's the catalyst for the kind of moments the Outsider says he waits for (this is, crucially, a line you only get from him after the low chaos Burrows elimination). I think the Outsider's been searching for someone who won't disappoint him for such a long time, someone he could give a piece of himself to who won't turn around and do something terrible with it. Like.... Come on! That's it, for me. To love is to give yourself away a little bit, to be surprised when the person who receives that gift treats it with the seriousness and consideration it deserves. And that's Corvosider 🖤🖤🖤

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Billie's whole journey to find him, and the understanding she comes to about him means so much to me.... 100% they become friends post-DotO. Letting him live is her way of letting herself live, to put her past behind her and prove to herself, once and for all, that she's more than a killer. And for the Outsider, she's the one person who could best understand the truth of what he is, how he was made into what he is, because in a way she's had the same done to her. The world fucked them both over so hard and forced them into these untenable positions that caused them both so much pain.... Oh god I have to stop thinking about this. They're best bros for life, next question!

My unpopular opinion about this character: I definitely prefer D2 Outsider over D1. I know ppl were very invested into the whole whale god thing, but his human sacrifice backstory was what really did it for me. Plus I love the way Robin Lord Taylor voiced him - the Hollows speeches in DotO make me so fucking emotional... He does a great job of going from bitchy to breathily earnest, and the emotional whiplash that gives me is very fun. Plus the way he scrunches his nose a little sometimes! Aaaaaa D2 Outsider my favorite son!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Obviously I really really really wanted to see what he would get up to after he became human again, cause uh, I wrote a novel about it lol.... But one thing I really wanted to see, that I didn't even do myself, was for the Outsider to go meet Sokolov, finally, as a mortal. I think that would be such great closure for both of them: for Sokolov to see indisputable proof that the power he was chasing was terrible and cruel (something he realized for himself in his final years, but meeting the Outsider would have driven this home beautifully), and for the Outsider to conclusively put away his old fickle relationship with humanity. For both of them to see each other as human beings, to really understand how fucked up the way they related to each other was. I'd love that!

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight - December 2023

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

@mayalaen -

Other SM names? - Mayalaen on AO3, Discord, Twitter, Bluesky, LiveJournal, Dreamwidth, etc.

OTP? - I'm a multishipper so no true OTP.

Other fandoms? - Mostly Stranger Things, OFMD, Stargate SGA/SG1, Star Trek, X-FIles, and Angel the Series/Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I'm interested in a lot of fandoms.

Looking for in the Pond? - I like to encourage people to write and create and I like to make friends in fandom. I was referred to the Pond for that by some members.

Something to signal boost? - I run a monthly writing/art challenge on AO3 called SPNColdestHits that you guys have already been boosting (THANK YOU!!). It's multifandom now and accepts art and original fic, not just fanfic. This is the AO3 collection link and of course, we're @spncoldesthits here on Tumblr, but we're also on Discord, Twitter, Bluesky, and Pillowfort.

Pairings you read? - I'll read pretty much any pairing, poly or otherwise. I'm not interested in reader insert, but I've read some.

Genres you read? - I prefer darkfic and/or kink, but I read anything.

Favorite writer(s)? - Xanthe Walter, but they haven't been active in fandom for about 2 years now.

What do you like to write? - My favorite is darkfic, D/S AU, and kink, but I also love writing crack and all other genres.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - It's newer but it has the least amount of hits from the list of non-crack/non-gift fics and is an SPN/Blacklist crossover. Caging the Mongoose.

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I really would like to write some SPN/HDM fusions. I keep toying with the idea, but have never posted any of them. I always work better when I have prompts or ideas from others to spur me on.

.@leatafandom -

Other SM names? - @leatawrites, Leata (AO3 and Discord)

OTP? - Sabriel

Other fandoms? - Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Marvel, BBC Merlin, Star Trek, Doctor Who

Looking for in the Pond? - I could use some help with tags and challenging myself to write different things.

Pairings you read? - Ships, Gens, Poly fics

Genres you read? - Angst is my favorite but fluff and smut are always wonderful

Favorite writer(s)? - Yes, @idabbleincrazy on Tumblr or Gabriel_is_my_guardian_angel89 on Ao3

What do you like to write? - Angst, Horror, Smut, Bittersweet/Sad Things

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - My most underappreciated story is probably one of my original horror short stories. My most underappreciated fanfic is probably Becoming One,Two, and One Again.

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? -I really would like to write more horror however I feel like I struggle with expressing fear, scenery/detail descriptions, and word choice

@oganizediguana -

Other SM names? - Oganizediguana on Discord

OTP? - Destiel

Other fandoms? - I tiptoe through many fandoms, but SPN is my home. Good Omens

Looking for in the Pond? - I’d love to get encouragement for writing and the confidence to share my work. But I’d also love to just meet interesting people.

Pairings you read? - 99% destiel

Genres you read? - I read it all, but mutual pining slow burn is what makes me feel all the things. I love a good canon-compliant AU. I’m happy with anything that ends happily. Or at least hopefully.

Favorite writer(s)? - On AO3: NorthernSparrow, tenoko1, saltnhalo, there are so many amazing authors in this fandom!

What do you like to write? - Everything seems to turn into angst.

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I’d like the confidence to share what I have written.

@dragonslayer-5fanfiction -

Other SM names? - Ao3- Dragonslayer5

Other fandoms? - haikyuu, daria, lotr/the hobbit, tmnt

Looking for in the Pond? - I just want to make friends and read good fanfic. I like to beta read. Maybe write some fanfic, but I have writer's block rn.

Pairings you read? - Reader insert

Genres you read? - Fluff, crack. One bed, and arranged marriage forced proximity tropes.

What do you like to write? - Reader inserts. Fluff.

Masterlist! AO3 Works list

Most underappreciated fic? - Do You Think About Me? (not SPN)

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? -Honestly, writing two characters from the Fandom. I typically stick to reader insert, and I'm a little scared I won't get the characteristics right or the dynamic.

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @katbratsupernaturalwhore and @heavenssexiestangel!

[shinakazami1]

AJDJSG HIII ILU I JUST HAD TO THROW U A CURVE BALL but seriously I did have a Borderlands phase and I can 1000% understand the Rhys brainworms so I needed to hear more of yours :D ALSO AWE thank you!

I might as well ask your thoughts on Rufu- PSYCH! Thoughts on Goal?? >:3

BRO U HAD?? YOU HAD THEM ALL DEAR LORT I HANDSHAKE U im doing reverse Mel hyperfix run I see!!

But now, it's time for g-g-g-g-

GOAL

(I hadn't played the games and hadn't consumed any content in a long time so. We will see how this will go. Ouuu I might replay it too,,)

How I feel about this character

The fact she started as the stereotype of sleeping beauty (and well... Sort of went through it a lot KSJEJRJSJSHD) BUT THEN LIKE. WHEN SHE WAS CONCIOUS (GOOD LORT THIS SOUNDS BAD) SHE SLAYED.

Just as I mentioned in my Borderlands girlies, Deponia ones are also strong af. And Goal is one of the examples. She lived in a utopia (well not on Utopia but Elysium but u know) and went on the trip because she wanted to make sure. She was Cletus' fiance and seemed to care about him but when she learnt about state of Deponia, what did she do? She ATE that and immediately was like 'we gonna inform them all'. And like I feel the disc is a great social commentary esp since only women got those. Horrible misoginism around, to be able to erase someone's being so easily, or split it to main factors, eughhhh. Yet! It brings such an interesting narrative!!

Lady Goal - all the upbringing she went to. The perfection others got into her brain

Baby Goal - the childhood he lost, the innocence and care in the world

Spunky Goal - adventurous. The part that got to talk most on Deponia, and in the fourth game imo.

The fact the internalised conflict got shown so well in the game. And then the self betrayal, only for her to come back once again.

And then again, in Goodbye Deponia. Goal kept on reinforcing herself as an independent fella who still sometimes fell for Rufus' lies. The fact that till the end, her own goal (haha) of getting to Ulysess and telling about Deponia worked out, and then, she had to lose Rufus just hurts a lot. The fact she didn't want to let herself mourn, that she had to bring back Rufus because he never gave up during the story - ough. She lost her home. She lost so much. And in the end, she let herself accept it and go.

She saw the world with a pink eye monocle. Cus she kept on calling Rufus and other people out. She could do so on Elysium probably, seeing her upbringing but also, she had to go opposite to her Lady training.

She's a great character. Truly

All the people I ship romantically with this character

BRO you single handedly made me like her with all the clones. Rufus, Cletus, Argus, though for Argus mostly as funny enemies-besties.

But... GoalxToni for life,,,

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I want to see her act more with rest of the squad. Lotti, June, Hermes, Doc, Bambina,,, there are a lot I think if she had more time, would love to have her around.

My unpopular opinion about this character

This fandom has great takes so I don't think I have any. I'm a bit too rusty tho sjshsh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

L... Less sleep....

[spaceratprodigy]

11 24 29 dealer choice for ship I can't decide 🧡💖

@darkfire1177 — [ OTP Prompts ]

Guess what bestie, ur gonna get some Cybill/Iris!!

@grimreapersbutt answered these with me 🖤✨ thank u van ily ily

–

11. Who leaves notes in the other one's lunch? (Bonus: what do they say?)

Iris is more likely to be the one leaving notes for Cybill. Cybill can cook well, but not anything he'd ever be willing to subject Iris to.

Iris already loves to cook, travels with a pan and cooking/eating utensils, and was already showing Cybill just how much she cared about him when cooking for him and June on the road. And she only gets better as time goes on as she gets accustomed to cooking with what's available, plus later down the line when they settle and she starts her own garden at home base! Truly putting her entire heart into it.

She would be writing so many mushy gushy notes. Telling Cybill how much she loves him, adores him, every little thing about him she cherishes, how grateful she is that they met and an endless amount of thank you's for everything he's done for her. And if she's in a particularly saucy mood, I have no doubts in my mind she'd leave him something a lil spicy to chew on. And yes, she is signing every single one of those notes with a lipstick kissy.

Iris does tend to visit down the road to Sanctuary pretty often so she can visit Preston and help around the settlement, especially with rebuilding. And if Cybill stays back (they don't exactly like being separated) I can absolutely see her meal prepping for him and the babies for the day, leaving him sweet notes saying how much she's gonna miss him and how she can't wait to be back in his arms. But every now and again Cybill sneaks his own notes into her lunch before she heads out and she melts over them! She has lil mementos she takes with her everywhere she goes and anything Cybill gives her she would cherish and it'll never leave her side, I'm tellin' ya.

–

24. Sleeping/cuddling positions? (Big spoon, little spoon, etc.)?

They often like to sleep facing each other! Optimal position for spur of the moment kissing, and brother lemme tell ya, they're gonna be kissing a lot. Night time kissies before bed? Yep. Sleepy lazy morning kissies in the sunlight? You better believe it. They invented love, and they are relishing in it every moment they can. They like being close, laying on each other's chests, actual snuggle bugs. When they spoon, it is more likely for Iris to be the big spoon and Cybill to be the little spoon. It makes him feel safe, and she is already such a physical, snuggly person that being able to hold him in her arms at night and nuzzle her face into him would bring her so much comfort to know he's there, he's safe, and that she isn't alone.

Iris spends a lot of her story with bad sleep issues, often pushing herself not to sleep at all. Often out of fear, often because she has frequent nightmares. And once Cybill and June are with her, she'll never forgive herself if she fails to keep them safe. But being with Cybill eases that. She feels safe with him, comfortable, god she loves him so much. She can finally rest. Her nightmares don't haunt her like they used to. They still exist, and sometimes he'll have to help her through them. But it's better than it was.

–

29. First date? (Give as much or little detail)

So, we were thinking about their first date being them singing a duet at The Third Rail!

They get dressed up all nice like the lil romantics they are so they can have a proper date and ough it is darling.

Iris telling Cybill about how, before she met him, she used to perform occasionally with Magnolia for some caps whenever she'd stop by Goodneighbor every now and again. Something leads to another and one of them asks the other of they'd wanna sing together.

Cybill is good at singing, but Iris knows this. Him singing lullabies to June, and how lovely his voice was, was one of the earliest moments of her falling for him. I don't doubt in that time he's also heard her sing sweetly, considering how much time they've spent together by now. But he's never heard her on stage.

Cybill is gonna be so nervous to sing in front of other people, but Iris is gonna be there by his side singing with him. And once they start, their voices melt together so beautifully, their eyes are locked onto each other, they're looking so stunning, the world around them just falls away. The only thing in this moment is them. When they finish, Cybill dips Iris into such a passionate kiss, grand finale of a lifetime fr.

And if you see them holding hands and sneaking away to the backroom, don't even worry about it. Loud moans? Nope, don't hear a thing. Are they leaving, clothes disheveled, Cybill covered in smeared lipstick kisses, Iris covered in bite marks? Mind ur business.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

WAIT UR THE ‘demitri and eli take a gay little road trip to find miguel’ GUY?? I LOVE THAT FIC OMG

YES HI I'm That Guy!!! That's my fic!!! Thank you for still noticing and reading it!!! <3 <3 <3

TBH it hasn't been getting a lot of comments or interaction lately, so I wasn't sure if people were still following it or really thinking about it much D: I definitely am going to continue and I have pretty solid plans up through about Chapter 13, but I got caught up in good old Adult Things (got a car part stolen and had to speedrun finding a job, and by some insane miracle I landed a good one???) and had to sorta get my life together for a while. I was also pretty bummed and discouraged that the Elimetri fandom kinda fizzed out after S5, and the hype that was there after S3 and S4 seems few and far between these days </3 And when someone DOES show up and get hyped about my boys, it always seems like they get bored after like 2 weeks and vanish into the ether again D: I feel like an immortal roaming the ruins of a once great and thriving civilization akjsalksufhdulrh

BUT ALL THAT TO SAY this is really encouraging <3 <3 Love that people are still invested, and now that my life has stabilized a bit, I may actually get Chapter 7 done ^^; The canon Mexico plotline was the most underwhelming thing I've ever seen in my entire life (and Season 5 as a whole and I just...did not really Vibe for a lot of reasons), and it's frustrating because like!!! Why would you introduce this grand epic quest for Miguel to find his dad and learn about his Dark Past™️ and then have it be over in 5 minutes and reveal nothing interesting whatsoever about Hector!!! Like if the point was to have Johnny prove he could be a good father figure to Miguel after all and to cause conflict between Miguel and Sam, then there were like...ways to do that without yeeting Miguel to another country with no ultimate character development or narrative payoff :/

And they really expect me to believe Miguel and Robby sat in petty stony silence the whole several-hour drive home and didn't even try to talk through ANY of their issues??? Didn't have ANY road trip bonding whatsoever??? WHAT A FUCKING WASTE. LAME.

ANYWAYS. I know a lot of people were against the Mexico subplot from the jump (mainly because of the potential problematic directions the show could go with it I think), but I might have been in the minority in being excited for it and thinking it had a lot of potential to see a world outside the Valley. Potential which it...did not fill at all. Like at least show us what sketch-ass shit Hector actually DOES!!! My god!!! Also not Robby being like "I wanna make things right with Miguel!!!" and then...clearly not doing that. Like considering their apartment brawl later was the first time Robby has shown onscreen remorse for what he did to Miguel, Robby didn't even apologize in the car ride on the way back??? Or speak a single word to Miguel about the whole, like...Paralysis Incident??? For all Miguel knows, Robby was tagging along just for kicks ajhdsukhfuyh

The whole thing is a mess tbh. I blame rushed production for S5. Deadass thank god for the writer's strike??? Maybe with more time for the writers to actually do their jobs, S6 will give its plotlines some room to breathe.

SO YES, long story short, I wanna do this plot thread some justice and also have my OTP be gay as shit the whole time <3 And give Miguel the epically dangerous adventure of self-discovery he deserves while ultimately still showing him he is very loved and does not need his shitty biological dad!!! God bless!!!

Thank you again for sliding into my inbox about this fic, I am always looking for motivation to keep going with it :D

(For anyone who doesn't know, the first 6 chapters of the fic in question are posted on my AO3, SummerPhlox!)

[ofironandivory]

I want to know more about your non main f/os!!

Hi hi nonny!!

Ooooh, there's so many fun ones to talk about, but I feel like it's a good time to showcase my other soulmates, since I've been so focused on Viktor and a few others throughout this blog's existence (⁠〃ﾟ⁠3ﾟ⁠〃⁠)

Fair warning: this will sound very emotional and personal because each of these characters are very important to me and helped me out through some complicated parts of my life

Zuko was one of my first ficto crushes, but I was very little when I first fell for him, so I had no clue about selfshipping and I wasn't even able to draw properly just yet!

I wasn't always able to watch the episodes in order and I remember being VERY confused when he suddenly showed up with a head full of hair instead of his usual hairdo, but that just made me like him more XD

I remember spending most of my free time just daydreaming about him teaching me how to firebend and protecting me from the mean kids at school!

Zebruh was the one who introduced me to the selfship community, back in 2018! At first I was just keeping an eye out because Homestuck had risen from it's grave because of Hiveswap and Friendsim, but when I decided to check FS for myself I was immediately obsessed with this awful, awful, scumbag of a troll

Since the game was releasing new content, the fandom was extremely active and most people absolutely HATED Zebruh... It was a wild time for me, because I would make posts simping for him and having two types of people show up in my inbox:

OMG have you heard of selfshipping? There's a whole community that loves characters n stuff, just like you love Zeb! By the way, y'all are my OTP!

How can you like a disgusting piece of shit like Zebruh? You're an abuse apologist, I hope you die

So there were straight up just Zebruh antis, it was so bad that I remember a few call outs made about me by some very popular accounts, at the time, warning people about me for selfshipping with him lol

On one hand, it was a very stressful thing and since I was still a teen I was horrified whenever I found out I was blocked by someone, or I'd get really hurt when I received hate about something that made me so happy... On the other hand I met some awesome people and had a blast for a very long time!

My other blog, that focuses on him and my sona, still exists! Primarily for memes now, but it got SO MUCH BIGGER than what I had planned that I just enjoy keeping it around for fun and for the nostalgia of it all!

Zebby got me through some really rough shit and everything about him still brings me comfort, and when I feel like no one else cares about me, I know he does. And I have the reminder etched into my skin, forever looking out for me

Tadano is honestly the main reason I even survived getting out of my old house... I was pretty much raised to be my family's therapist since I was a toddler and it genuinely took me YEARS to make my mom realize that my father was a piece of shit and that we had to get out of that place.

When they finally decided to divorce, Aggretsuko season two had just come out, and it was one of the only things that helped me keep my sanity, honestly.. School was stressful as hell and coming home was even worse for so many reasons... My only escape was getting to watch that silly show with my mom after she got home from work.

When I first saw him it felt like life regained all the color it lost throughout the years, not even exaggerating. I rewatched all the scenes he was in multiple times, both in English and in Portuguese, just so I could hear his voice over and over again

Devil Jin is another childhood F/O! I got into Tekken 3 when I was super small and I've loved the franchise ever since, especially because of Devil Jin!

I've always been a maladaptive daydreamer and I remember going through the ringtones of my flip phone on the bus ride to school and just coming up with random scenarios of him and me

As silly as it may sound, I'm pretty sure that's what made way for me to use music and daydreaming to come up with my self inserts, original characters, universes, selfship lores and everything else! He sparked my creative force and it genuinely means the world to me

Yoosung showed up for me when I was struggling with an eating disorder and neglect from my father. My mom would work after I got home from school and I was obsessed with my appearance in the worst way possible...

I was making myself fade away and over exercising to the point where it constantly felt like I was about to faint. My old house was 2.5 kilometers away from the town center, and one day when I was walking to the gym (my father refused to drive me), I got robbed.

I was very disoriented and just rushed anywhere where I could call for help. A lot of awful things happened that day, but later on I got a new phone, and Mystic Messenger was at the peak of its popularity, so I decided to give it a shot, since I was very scared to leave the house.

Needless to say the game had me in a chokehold and I fell for Yoosung almost immediately. The way he would talk, the little reminders to eat and the calls with him gave me a reason to keep going when I felt like I was at my lowest.

He's the reason I beat my eating disorder AND the reason I have my sideways bangs, as a little tribute to the game's MC!

Nathaniel was responsible for my obsession with dating sims and visual novels! Certain fandoms are way more popular here than they are in the US; like Static Shock, Everybody Hates Chris and My Candy Love!

I got very invested in the game, to the point where I'd even spend some of my allowance on action points for it! I was very dedicated to him, he was the only character I would romance and I had all of his CGs!

I kept up with the game for years, but as the prices got less manageable, the community got more toxic and the characters and story changed while I wasn't around, the spark for the game slowly faded.

I never fell out of love with Nath and I honestly feel very nostalgic whenever I look at his CGs, oldest to newest!

[brionysea]

Jinx for the character ask thing bc I just finished s2 🙃

How I feel about this character

women's wrongs!!!!!! yay <3 love her lots lots lots <3 I'm actually obsessed with jinx right now but only her s1 incarnation, as with all things arcane

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I mean, ekko's fine, but honestly no one. it's weird that in the one really shippy episode they get powder is simultaneously a genius (the only person who can build a time machine to get ekko and heimerdinger home - yes, I buy it, of course she can, she cracked hextech in like a day) and an idiot (somehow DOESN'T KNOW she's BUILDING A TIME MACHINE or piece together that this isn't her ekko????? - I don't buy it literally at all). is she smart or not. make up your minds. this is a general rule with romance but if you need to Twist Her Character to make her kissing someone Make Sense then you can Keep The Romance. I don't want it. there are bigger things going on like why is she suddenly not a genius when it's convenient but 2 scenes later she's the smartest person in the world again. I don't buy it. I don't BUY it it doesn't make SENSE

My non-romantic OTP for this character

the only thing I ever cared about was jinx and vi's sister relationship <3

My unpopular opinion about this character

s2 jinx literally isn't jinx she wouldn't fucking say that or do that or ANYTHING THAT. she's so well adjusted and normal and doesn't even TALK weird anymore and giving her a kid doesn't even have consequences on the kid like all the people with Issues TM suddenly being parents did in s1. why did her psychosis disappear! why isn't she angry and violent and destructive when she's wronged (or even just EXISTING) anymore! WHERE DID HER CHARACTER GO!!!!!!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

destroy piltover. burn it to the ground. get jinxed you bastards I never liked any of you and ANYONE FROM THE UNDERCITY defending and sympathising with piltover is stupid but ESPECIALLY JINX she BLEW UP THE COUNCIL like be REAL she's meant to destroy the system not uphold it!!!!!!

send me a character!

[fumifooms]

Hi I adored your chilchuck/marcille fanfic, "grind me down sweetly", that was so lovely!! i ate it up with like no hesitation! i was wondering if you were considering writing more of them? thank you so much for all your work and thank you for sharing it with us!

First of all thank you so so much!! Every nice word and kudos mean the world to me, and for rarepairs they're all the more cherished 💖 And yes anon, I absolutely do plan on making more for them! As much as I can manage, a library's worth if possible. They're my absolute Dungeon Meshi OTP and Dunmeshi’s been my obsession for like 10 months now, I'm a huge shipper & I love making fancontent and yeahh it's not stopping anytime soon. Though I am a slow writer... And I really should get around to finishing my older non-dunmeshi wips too 😫

I’ve talked about marchil fanfic prompts/wips a couple times on here, and very recently even about a sequel to Grind Me Down Sweetly actually! The fic’s a lot about having a familiar routine with someone and sort of growing used to that, to knowing someone like that and with sharing his days and his living space with someone again, about growing open to the idea that maybe just maybe he and Marcille could have something in the first place. And it’s kept pretty platonic due to that and whatnot, but I recently thought that, since the arc of him becoming more aware and open to the relationship got done in GMDS, doing a sequel where we actually see the relationship grow more romantic would be cute!! Warming up to the romantic nature of their relationship like settling down into a cozy couch. And this time rather than coffee it’ll be centered around what all the best cafes have… Cats!

Gonna summarize the concepts of some of my marchil fic wips under the cut, if you’d rather go in blind when they… Eventually get written, then you can just stop here and safely be assured that I am 100% planning on writing more for them! Oh, btw I also take prompts and requests, though I can’t promise anything.

Alright so GMDS sequel: I think in canon both Marcille and Chilchuck have a special dynamic with Izutsumi, where they care after her, not unlike Senshi but with more feelings attached. With her traveling around, I feel like every once in a while they’d talk about her, dealing with the worry and the uncertainty. Marcille is like "My fragile baby bird out into the world… She needs to at least live to be 100 years old 😭" while Chil knows how it’s like and just trusts her to be alright, like with Puckpatti. And so!! Every time she sees a stray cat while strolling out her heart pangs… There are many strays in Chilchuck’s neighborhood, and with her pushing for it they start leaving some food out for them. At one point she sees one standing out in the rain all pitifully in front of Chil’s shop and she invites it in (to Chilchuck’s despair), and from then on it’s still a stray but it has a home to go back to… Until Marcille officially adopts it. And it can showcase Marcille and Chil’s growing relationship alongside that metaphorically, where she sorta moves in and they grow more boldly affectionate, and it’s like… Domesticating love… 😌 Man didn’t want a cat, a cat daughter nor a new lover, but they took a liking to him and were stubborn about getting close to him and now there they all are. I like to say that post-canon despite Chil living alone in his shop he gets a second family of clingy asses, and this is exactly what I mean. Vibe wise I’d like it to have that cozy energy of spending a slow afternoon at a nice quiet cafe on a rainy day, but we’ll see how I manage it! It’s not the highest on my writing priorities currently though.

Other marchil fic ideas I’ve talked about are… Following them on that time pre-canon where they went to shop for a pouch together would be cute. I have a long post talking about them being sick and caring for each other would be like and that’d make a fun whump fic too. He gets sick and she dotes on him, she indulges herself and kisses him anyways, and then of course he passes it on to her right as he gets better so then it’s her turn getting taken care of hehe.

This one’s more convoluted, so either Marcille invites him to a fancy social event at the castle as her plus-one (aka emotional support) maybe already dating maybe on the verge of confessing, OR they’re already dating and then Marcille’s mom visits them and it’s very sweet and maybe marriage talks happens~, but in both cases Chilchuck is going through SO much stress. Just Chilchuck’s heart being on the absolute edge of giving out, going through the five stages of grief over the banquet not having his favorite kind of alcohol and Marcille not letting him be an ornamental plant in the corner of the room and doing the bare minimum. Or having to engage with her mom and seeming worthy of being her lover as his shit is only barely pulled together after they hurry to ready his house to host her as a guest. And I have a bunch of wips where I tackle them properly doing a confession or a proposal… I was planning on making a comic about it even. Here’s a lil taste of them talking about getting into a relationship together~

And you know what, here are some new exclusive ones I hadn’t shared yet that I’d really like to get around to making

In the meantime if you want I have a ton of analysis and headcanon posts about marchil on this blog, and fanarts here, and @fumiku is my fanfic blog with updates + for fanfic related asks (which rarely gets used rip).

I have non-marchil dunmeshi fanfics I want to prioritize too, but idk idk I’ll see what I end up getting around to… I like having a new vision to offer with each fic, so I tend to prioritize fics that take a new angle for the same ship or tackle different characters and themes, so I can see myself pushing myself to do other stuff before falling back into my marchil comfort zone.