#( otp: you make me feel like i'm home again. )

[sakurocha]

I love the idea of a Sunshine!Partner with Sebastian- Barely even needing to try to put him in a better mood, just so effortlessly sunny and hyper.

Awh but when you're having a gloomy day of your own :(

I can see him trying his very best to recreate that cheery demeanour, failing so cringily that it just makes you bust into a bunch of giggles - Task Fail Sucessfully

Just some thoughts.. ramblings even... heheh

YESSS omg honestly this is my otp!! i LOVE sebastian with a constantly sunny farmer so so much ☀️🌙🤍

sebastian cheering you up !

in which sebastian delivers a tiny gift for you when you're having a rare gloomy day.

you definitely got on his nerves a bit when you first arrived in the valley, constantly scampering over to him to ask a million questions and shower him in random knick-knacks you found in the mines and around the farm. can't you just let a man light up by the lake in peace?

the answer is obviously no. but he realizes that maybe your company isn't so bad, and somewhere along the way, he eventually finds himself somehow looking forward to your sickeningly sweet demeanor and constant questions every single day. as cliche as it sounds, you are the literal sun in his life. <3

one day, when you don't show up by the lake one night like you always do, dread pools in his stomach as he worries he did something wrong. but, swallowing his fears, he ventures to the steps of your farmhouse, where the lights are still on.

he knocks softly. silence. just as he was about to give you some space, you open the door ever so slightly, allowing him to take in your rumpled appearance, as though you had been holed up in bed all day—a feeling he was all too familiar with.

"seb?" you asked quietly.

at first, he was too stunned to speak. he had never seen you like this—anything less than a cheerful ball of sunshine. you simply blinked at him, tears threatening to pool in your eyes.

"hey, hey..." he said, his words trailing off. he had never felt so awkward, standing there on your doorstep, completely at a loss as to how to console his favorite person in the valley.

embarrassment crept up the back of his neck, an idea forming in his head as he recalled all of the sweet, caring ways you had cheered him up whenever he was having an off day, which was more often than he'd like to admit.

he had to repay the favor—it was the absolute least he could do.

"i'm sorry, seb, i'm just not feeling well today..." you said, moving to shut the door.

"wait—no, please, just listen to me... i, uh... brought you something..." he dug around in his pockets, searching for...?

you cocked your head with curiosity, watching him pat down his pockets before his eyes lit up with excitement. "there!" he stooped down, cupping his hands in the grass before jolting upright again, meeting your gaze. "give me your hands."

you did as he said, holding your hands out together in front of you before he spilled the gift in his palms into yours.

it was... oddly bumpy?

and a little bit slimy?

you looked at the little green creature in your hands, its two beady eyes staring right back at you.

"...you're telling me a frog just fell out of your pocket?" you asked, staring up at sebastian incredulously.

a pink flush spread across his bashful cheeks as he met your gaze. "um... yes?..."

the bright laugh that escaped from your lips was so, so pure; you couldn't help but giggle at his earnest attempt to cheer you up. and to be honest? it worked.

"thank you, seb, i love him." you cooed at the tiny frog in your hands, watching its little eyes flit around.

sebastian let out a relieved sigh, clearly more tightly wound than he wanted to let on. a small smile spread across his lips. "good, i love him too." he reached a finger out to softly stroke its back. "want to keep him?"

you pouted up at him. "no! i bet you just snatched him away from his loving family. we'll help him home." you bent down, gently letting your little friend leap back into the grass. "go on, tiny! get home safe!"

the two of you watched it hop away into the night before you turned to sebastian.

"thank you for stopping by, sebastian." you smiled up at him, a beaming, genuine smile. "i really do appreciate you. oh, and our new little friend."

he returned the grin, simply relieved to see you get your spark back. "i'll never say no to spending time with some frogs." he looking off wistfully, playfully ignoring the death glare you gave him. "oh, that's right, and you."

you batted him on the shoulder before dragging him into the farmhouse for a cozy night in. <3

thank you so much for reading! requests are always open~

[eemamminy-art]

wip wednesday!!!

I was tagged by @lilas !! I'm always working on a zillion things so the hardest part is picking which thing(s) to share haha

No pressure tags: @henarikat @4th-make-quail @fuerrziah @phillypumpkin @oorangesoda @gothgarbageboy @fishyfarms @theasnewgroove @benjineedssleep @usernamemybeloathed @halixius @hullygeee @starskullz -- and anyone else who sees this and wants to share something!

This is the main thing I'd really like to finish this month:

I feel like I need to mess with the pose a little, particularly Sebastian's legs... dude is tall in my version but I fear he's displacing his hips

also some year of the otp wips for the next three months!

And under the cut I'll post a writing snippet! It's a chapter much later in my fic, chapter 65 currently if I don't keep ADDING CHAPTERS 😩😩😩 I don't think this bit reveals anything about the plot, it's a scene where Sebastian is really fucked up and turns to Mal because he has nowhere else to go:

“Are you alone?” Sebastian asked quickly. “I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah, it’s just me here,” Mallory admitted. “Would you like to come in?”

“No, can you just come outside?” Sebastian asked hurriedly. “I want to be able to smoke while we talk.”

“Yeah, sure,” Mallory agreed, slipping on his shoes and a light hoodie before he stepped out onto the porch to meet Sebastian.

“I don’t know who else to turn to,” Sebastian admitted bitterly as he sat down on the porch steps, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter from his pockets. “And even though I know I don’t deserve it, you’ve always been good to me.”

The metal flicked as he spun the wheel of the lighter, blowing away the smoke of the first hurried drag of his cigarette in the opposite direction of Mallory as he pocketed the pack and lighter once again.

Mallory sat beside him, taking care to make sure that there was still ample space between them, his back pressed into the wooden railings of the deck. His long legs cascaded down the length of the steps, while Sebastian pulled his knees close to himself, his own equally long legs kinked up like a dead spider. One knee bounced anxiously, the wood creaking beneath them.

“Where's your boyfriend anyway?” Sebastian asked suddenly, looking around nervously as if Alex were lurking nearby waiting to ambush him. “I thought for sure he would have been here, he’s always with you.”

Only the orange and pink fading light of sunset greeted him, the silhouettes of distant fruit trees and the chicken coop which had gone quiet sat on the horizon unassumingly. A few yards away, the creek trickled and splashed lightly, and insects hummed and sang their usual songs to usher in the summer evening.

“It’s Sunday,” Mallory said simply. “He’s at home, watching sports with his grandpa like always.”

“Oh. Of course,” Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I wonder what it’s like to have a family who gives a shit about you.”

Mallory frowned knowingly, making Sebastian wince. How was he so good at fucking things up? It was a talent, truly.

“Sorry,” Sebastian muttered. “I know you’ve had it rough too.”

“Maru cares about you,” Mallory reminded. “She told me so. She wishes she was closer to you.”

“She does?” Sebastian croaked, compressing himself into a somehow even smaller ball of skinny limbs. “More things I just keep fucking up, I guess.”

[katebeckets]

TRIED & TRUE: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part Three: All Things

Oh, love, let me see inside your heart. All the cracks and broken parts, the shadows in the light... there's no need to hide.

playlist / songs ↘

FALLING SLOWLY by Steve Kazee & Cristin Milioti / It's probably no surprise that this song is on here since it's one of my all-time favorite songs, but I'm putting it here anyway because it's just SO GOOD. It has one of my all-time favorite lyrics—"you have suffered enough and warred with yourself; it's time that you won"—which is so good to think about in the context of your favorite OTP. I know Mulder and Scully would feel that about each other (and, let's be real, we all feel that about them). And even though they fell for each other the minute they met, it was also a reeeeal slow burn.

CRASHING DOWN by Elyse Myers / I'm way too delighted by the juxtaposition of "falling slowly" in love with love coming "crashing down" on them, but it's somehow both things at once so I stand by it. This was an immediate MSR song for me, it just felt so fitting. "The very first time I heard your voice, it was lightning to my soul / You said my name and looked me in the eye / that was all I needed to know about your love / It came crashing down on me" felt perfect for their first meeting, and THEN!!!! Immediately after that: "I didn't know then what I know now, but even if I did, I wouldn't change a single thing / I would do it all again for your love / to feel it crashing over me." My mind immediately went to "even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day." And then this part?? "The very first time we disagreed"—cough, the very first meeting—"I was learning about you still / Your head is strong and your heart is fierce / You don't give up, you never will on your love / It still crashes down on me." Anyway this song is MSR and nothing will ever change my mind.

HUNGER by Ross Copperman / First I must shout out one of my favorite x-files tweets because the horniness is definitely a piece of associating "hunger" with MSR (lol) but beyond that... this song! MSR! AH!! The verses especially make me think of them: "one look and I can't catch my breath / two souls into one flesh / when you're not next to me, I'm incomplete" and "oh, love, let me see inside your heart / all the cracks and broken parts / the shadows in the light / there's no need to hide." And then there's the palpable want between them—"I'm on fire like a thousand suns / I couldn't put it out even if I wanted to."

ARMS by Christina Perri / I know this was so overplayed, but again, hear me out—this is soooo them. The lyrics are so beautiful and fit them both so well: "I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown" and "I hope that you see right through my walls / I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling / I'll never let a love get so close / you put your arms around me and I'm home" and "the world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved / I never wanna leave you, but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone" and again, "you put your arms around me and I'm home." And just thinking about the way Scully feels safe enough to let Mulder hold her and how Mulder collapse into Scully and lets her hold him even though she's so little! The fact that she can be his home!! AND and and when she says "can you hold me?" I AM SCREAMING!!!!

CEILINGS by Lizzy McAlpine / This is entirely because of this beautiful video that I watched and could never get out of my head. I will never not think of them and these scenes that fit so beautifully (rain in the pilot, the parallel between them in hotel rooms). Also, even though "touch me like nobody else does" implies sex in the song, I love thinking about how it goes beyond that for Scully and Mulder—they truly touch each other in so many ways that nobody else does, literally and metaphorically.

WONDERFUL UNKNOWN by Ingrid Michaelson / This song is a long time favorite of mine, but I love finding new reasons to cry about it... and MSR certainly did that! I think this can be applied at most stages of their relationship, but it especially makes me think of the unremarkable house. This song speaks to so much of the simplicity of love ("we make bread on Sundays and the little ones are climbing up the walls / nothing last forever but the sound of love astounds me every time that it calls") and it just makes me think of MSR living a totally unremarkable life basking in each other's love (which is exactly what happens, right?). Also... "in the best way, you'll be the death of me."

RANGERS by A Fine Frenzy / This is a song that has inexplicably been one of my favorites for a long time (inexplicably because usually I relate more to the lyrics if it's a favorite), so perhaps it was just meant to be on an Emily MSR playlist. This is another song that reminds me of the unremarkable house, especially in I Want to Believe. "They'll keep seeking but they won't find us / Let's keep living our quiet lives, you and I." I'm also going to cheat and say I consider this song to be a bit of a companion to "Come On, Come Out" and "You Picked Me" (from the same album which I think I could argue is itself an MSR album) and perhaps you should listen to those too... but I was trying to keep this a reasonable length lmao. "Come On, Come Out" reminds me of a couple comments in the show (specifically, settling for a life on this planet and looking for life elsewhere) and feels like what Mulder and Scully do for each other throughout the show in both a literal and metaphorical sense. "You Picked Me" is one of my favorite love songs (platonic and romantic) and also very MSR.

TRUE BLUE by boygenius / I must give credit where credit is due: @emmiebea and @scullysconstant each sent this song to me, both about MSR but independently of one another... which I decided is a sign. And it is suuuch an MSR song!! Plus I find it delightful that there's a lyric about being born in July because that's when I was born. But back to the MSR of it all: "and it feels good to be known so well / I can't hide from you like I hide from myself" is soooo them and reminds me of the the fourth gif in this set—the idea that they know each other better than anyone else and can decode each other in a way that's just so specific to them. And then it goes on: "I remember who I am when I'm with you / your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue." My constant, my touchstone, my friend, my one in five billion... they are so fully themselves when they're together!!!! I also am forever screaming about Mulder using the phrase "true blue" in "Kitsunegari." I have no idea what to do with that information, but it matters to me.

YOU WILL FIND ME by Alex & Sierra / I liked the idea of putting "I can't hide from you like I hide from myself" before a song called "You Will Find Me." They always find each other when they're missing, whether they're physically missing or searching for some part of themselves. "You leave me room for my imperfections / when I'm a mess and you jump right in / if I drift in the wrong direction / you turn the tide and you calm the wind / anytime, everytime I get lost / you will find me."

TIMELESS by Taylor Swift / Speaking of finding each other... "I believe that we were supposed to find this / so even in a different life / you still would've been mine / we would've been timeless" and "sometimes there's no proof, you just know / you're always gonna be mine." I will never ever get over the "even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day" and "we'd been friends together, in other lifetimes, always" of it all.

SATELLITE CALL by Sara Bareilles / A few weeks ago during an ask game I said this is a song I would want to put on a playlist for both Scully and Mulder, so here we are. It's one of my personal favorite songs and one that means a lot to me and it's a message I would want to give them, but I also think this is a message they would want to give each other. And if you really want to hurt, think about it during an abduction arc or literally just any time they don't know where the other is, even for a minute (because these two are insane and it doesn't even need to be a full-on abduction arc). "This was written for the one to blame / one who believes they are the cause of chaos in everything" and "this is so you'll know the sound of someone who loves you from the ground / tonight you're not alone at all / this is me sending out my satellite call." I have always loved this song because of the imagery—the idea that no matter where you are, how alone you feel, how dark the night, I am here for you, I am sending out my satellite call to you so you know I am here and you are not alone. So take that and add it to Scully and Mulder thinking of each other when they can't physically be together and trying to be the other person's source of strength and comfort aaaand yeah. (I am also going to cheat with this song and say "I Choose You" is another Sara Bareilles song that should be on here and only isn't because I was trying to be reasonable with length, but the reason I chose this song "Satellite Call" is because it feels more unique to them—the idea of a satellite call is just especially fitting for MSR in a way that it might not be for other couples, at least to me, because satellites, little green men, all that. But this is me saying that "I Choose You" is unofficially on this list as well because I love that song and it fits them so well.)

NO BIG DEAL (I LOVE YOU) by dodie / Another @emmiebea choice that I just had to include. There are two very different ways I think of this song, but I think they both make sense for MSR. I paired it with "Satellite Call" because of the wordlessness of both songs. "You hold me like it's already said / I don't mind, I will do this dance for the rest of my life / for as long as you want." Even though it is a big deal (especially for MSR), I feel like this song fits them so well because it also isn't a big deal—their love for one another is so obvious, so matter-of-fact, that in many ways it doesn't feel like it needs to be said. It's just there. So they act like it's already been said and like it's okay. But there's the other side of this song as well (the one that I think is how most people would read it/what it more clearly is about), the part that's acknowledging why it hasn't been said (and that it needs to be explicitly said)—they're acting like it's no big deal because they both know it is. They're afraid and telling themselves it's no big deal, they just love each other. Which is soooo much of their relationship. But I think the paradox adds to the depth of this song—they're kidding themselves that it's no big deal, but it also is no big deal. It's so natural that to make it a big deal feels almost disingenuous, in a way. It's both. I could get caught in this forever because this song lives so beautifully in the grey.

TWO by Sleeping at Last / I will never ever get over this song. It might go on every OTP playlist ever, I don't care, it still fits so well and is so them! "You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat" and "No, I don't want to talk about myself / tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'til you're good as new / and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too" and "I just want to love you, love you, love you well / I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself" and "like a force to be reckoned with / a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you without any strings attached / and what a privilege it is to love / a great honor to hold you up."

I WANNA LOVE YOU FOREVER by Kate Vogel / I love the sweet simplicity of this song and the simple desire to love you forever. I think the whole song fits them so well, but there are also specific lyrics that make me think of them, in particular: "my head fits right on your shoulder, my palm fits right in your hand." Because it's true! They fit together so well!!!!

YOU ARE IN LOVE by Taylor Swift / I loved this song to begin with, of course, but I remember the first time I thought about it after seeing Scully and Mulder and feeling like I was going to combust. It's SOOOO them. "You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home, you can see it with the lights out—you're in love, true love." And even though I need to remake this, there's a reason I couldn't stop myself from trying! The part that I think about so often, though, is this verse: "one night he wakes / strange look on his face / pauses, then says: you're my best friend / and you knew what it was / he is in love." Because that's what makes me crazy!! They are each other's best friend!!!! They constantly want to be with each other!! They make each other laugh and they love each other so much and I just!! I can't even be normal about this song and explain why I love it for them, I'm just over here crying and becoming more and more incoherent about it!!!! It's fine, I'm fine. I ended on this song because it means the playlist ends with "you're in love, true love. You're in love." And at the end of the day... that's just it. They're in love, true love. [cries forever]

[riddlerosehearts]

OC TAG GAME

i got tagged in this by @bg3screenshotdump, @ignistigator, and @mogruith, tysm to each of you!! this took me a few days because i decided to do it for both my tavs (briala's is in a separate post now) and use it as a reason to put a bunch of effort into making tav-dex cards for them haha.

this has been going around for a bit already so my apologies if you've already been tagged, or even already done it and i missed your post, but I'll go ahead and tag: @thelittlesorceressbg3 @darcydekarios @starsthoughtsonthings @waterdhaviancheeses

and as always, if you see this and wanna do it (for any fandom or original content, not just BG3!) feel free to go for it and just say i tagged you! anyway, i'm gonna put most of this under a read more:

-> BASICS

Name: Elenion Silverdew

Class/Subclass: College of Lore Bard

Background: Entertainer

Gender: He's transmasc, and calling him a man isn't incorrect but calling them nonbinary wouldn't be incorrect either!

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns: He/they

-> OTHER

Family: Elenion grew up in a very creative, intellectually vibrant, and loving household. Their father was a famous human bard who was often away from home for weeks at a time, but Elenion adored and admired him, never doubting that he loved them. Sadly he died when Elenion was 17 in a tragic accident that Elenion always blamed themself for.

His mother is a high elf astronomer and freelance scholar who works out of her own personal observatory next to her family's home. Elenion loves her deeply, but began to gradually distance himself from her out of grief and guilt after his father's death. Post-game, they finally reconnect and she moves to Waterdeep to be near him again.

Birthplace: Baldur's Gate

Job: Pre-game - Renowned traveling musician who performed across Faerun. Post-game - Museum owner/curator who still likes to play music and tell stories in Waterdeep's taverns from time to time.

Phobias: Imperfection, intimacy, and fire.

Guilty Pleasures: Trashy romance novels, overly elaborate self-care routines, collecting tacky little souvenirs from towns he visits, and chocolate.

Hobbies: Stargazing, fashion and shopping for clothes/jewelry, studying history/folklore from various cultures, playing their lute or lyre while sitting beneath the stars.

-> MORALS

Alignment: Neutral Good

Sins: Envy, Lust

Virtues: Compassion, creativity, diligence

-> THIS OR THAT

Introvert/Ambivert/Extrovert (pre-game he pretends to be an extrovert 24/7 though)

Organized/Disorganized

Close-minded/Open-minded

Calm/Anxious/Restless

Disagreeable/In-Between/Agreeable

Patient/In-Between/Impatient

Outspoken/In-Between/Reserved

Leader/Follower/Flexible

Empathetic/In-between/Apathetic

Optimist/Realist/Pessimist

Traditional/In-Between/Modern

Hard-working/Lazy

-> RELATIONSHIPS

OTP: Elenion x Gale obviously. They're literally soulmates 💙💜

Acceptable ships: I'm going to say Elenion x Wyll because that would be a cute AU and I love seeing Wyll with bards.

OT3: Elenion x Gale x Wyll. Because I love Bladeweave and again, it'd be really cute.

BroTP: Elenion & Lae'zel, Elenion & Wyll. Ride-or-die besties of all time <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I may have made this more detailed than it needed to be but what else is new lol. I did leave out "NoTP" under relationships because I didn't feel like answering that one. But this was fun to do, it made me think about and come up with a couple things I hadn't thought much about before!

[its-luna-noel]

took a sip of what's drowning us | satosugu

Suguru tries to get a fresh start after the KFC breakup. Satoru holds a bit of a grudge.

tags: au - no curses, post-breakup, fresh starts, yandere!gojo, bottom gojo, knife play, smut, major character death, angst, hurt/no comfort

word count: 1.9k

masterlist | link to ao3

notes: hello again! this is part 3 to the year of the otp event for this year; i hope you enjoy! i had a lot of fun writing this one (i'm a bottom gojo truther till i die).

Suguru isn’t happy, but he’s trying.

He tries to tell himself that it’s normal to feel like this; it’s only been a week since he broke up with Satoru on that busy street in Shinjuku, and although he’s relieved to be in a new place – he already moved out of his old apartment they shared – the sudden emptiness still gets to him at times. He misses the good times, the times when things weren’t so complicated and they could just have a laugh together.

But those times are over, now.

And so he moves on. Or he tries to, at least. He buries himself in his work, arriving at the tattoo shop for his apprenticeship early every morning and leaving late into the night, a new sleeve of fake skin beautifully decorated with black ink.

Then the next morning starts the same way.

As he unlocks the front door of the shop, keys jingling as he fumbles with them, the owner of the next-door flower shop sidles up beside him, flashing a friendly smile. “Morning, Suguru,” they say in a sleepy voice.

“Morning, Hanami,” he greets amiably, smiling back. “How are you this morning?”

They yawn, shrugging slightly. “Alright. You?”

“Just fine, thanks.” He swings the door open, shoving his keys into his pocket. “Have a good day!”

“You, too, Suguru.” Their eyes linger on him for just a moment longer before they duck inside the flower shop, disappearing to start their day.

Suguru smiles to himself, shaking his head. This is exactly what he needs: a fresh start.

He heads over to his station and starts on sketches, trying to build his own flash as his apprenticeship starts to ramp up. Soon he’ll be able to tattoo on his own clients, which he’s excited for.

It’s a strange feeling, to look forward to something after all this time.

So for now he sticks with his fake skin, getting used to holding the tattoo gun and figuring out his own style.

Little does he know, the next day Hanami will go missing under mysterious circumstances. Until their body is found in their apartment dumpster, mutilated and cut apart in an obvious crime of passion, of rage, of revenge.

Suguru feels the loss like an open wound. It’s just one more thing he’s lost in such a short amount of time.

It’s not until he’s awoken in the dead of night that he finally understands what’s happening.

There’s a creaking noise, like a slow, deliberate footstep on his floorboards. Suguru tries to jolt out of bed, reaching blindly in the darkness for anything he can use for a weapon, because he’s not going to be next, not after Hanami–

Then there’s a body on his, and Suguru lets out a yelp when chilling metal is pressed against his throat. But the body feels familiar, feels like coming home, and Suguru’s body stiffens against the bed.

“Satoru,” he hisses through his teeth, panic quelling in favor of frustration and bewilderment, “what the hell?”

A grin like the flash of a knife, and Satoru leans in, his breath warm against Suguru’s cheek. “Hey, babe,” he whispers, and the sharp edge of the blade digs just a little bit deeper, enough to make Suguru swallow nervously. “Didn’t you miss me?”

“Satoru,” he repeats himself, his voice wavering nervously, “get out.”

Satoru pouts, and the expression is almost cute, but his stunning eyes are wild and dangerous as they flicker down to watch the knife against Suguru’s beautiful throat. God, the desire to see red flowing, to lean down and taste… It’s almost overwhelming.

Suguru fights to swallow again. His voice is surprisingly even when he asks, “What are you doing with that?”

Satoru grins again, and he licks his teeth, humming under his breath. The sound is almost thoughtful. “Just saying hi. You know you always liked it when I was a bit of a freak.”

Suguru feels his cheeks flush pink, but he just grits his teeth and says, “A bit? This is crossing several lines.”

Satoru’s quiet for a long moment. Then, in a voice that’s almost sad, regretful, “I missed you.”

Suguru’s heart clenches, but he doesn’t let up. He asks incredulously, “So you decided to break into my apartment and threaten me?”

“I’m not threatening you.” Satoru says it like it’s obvious. “I’m getting you back.”

“Oh, and the knife is just for shits and giggles,” Suguru remarks sarcastically.

Satoru’s smile returns, and he leans back in, breath fanning over Suguru’s face again. “I already told you, it’s ‘cause you know you like it.” His lips brush against Suguru’s.

Suguru’s entire body stiffens, and he has to hold back a groan, because despite everything, he’s been dreaming about those lips for days. Been dreaming about his body pressing up against his, wrapped around his, and – he has to admit – been dreaming about this absolute freak.

Satoru’s right – he always has been. And Suguru’s always been obsessed.

Satoru can see the internal conflict in those violet eyes, can see how he’s struggling, how badly he wants to give in. And something inside Satoru rejoices, because despite everything, despite all the ways he’s fucked up, Suguru still wants him, even if it’s deep down.

That just means he has to dig it out of him.

So he leans down a little further, and he parts his lips to lick a slow, sensual stripe over Suguru’s mouth. Suguru shudders beneath him, holding back a moan at the sensation of his hot tongue on his lips, and his fingers tightly grip the sheets beneath him as Satoru nips at his lower lip.

“Tell me I can kiss you,” Satoru whispers against his mouth.

Suguru shivers again, before reaching up one hand and grabbing the back of Satoru’s head. Then he crushes his lips against Satoru’s, and both of them let out soft, mirrored groans of pleasure at finally coming back together.

Satoru removes the knife from Suguru’s neck, but not without shallowly slicing a cut across his skin. Suguru hisses in slight pain, but he just buries the noise against Satoru’s mouth, his lips parting. His tongue brushes against Satoru’s, tasting and wanting, and Satoru returns the movement with desperation of his own. Satoru’s hands are already tearing at Suguru’s sweatpants, and Suguru growls low in his throat before he rips off Satoru’s shirt, tossing it to the side.

Fingers roam over familiar features, reacquainting themselves with the body against them.

Once Suguru’s sweatpants are off, thrown to the opposite side of the bed, Satoru reaches down to his own joggers and pushes them down his muscular thighs. In one slow movement, he frees his own aching cock from his boxers, the tip blushing pink in anticipation of what's coming.

Suguru knows they shouldn’t be doing this. Knows how this ends, knows it doesn’t change a damn thing between them. But he’s desperate, he needs Satoru like he needs air to breathe, and so he grabs Satoru by the hips and grinds him down onto his dick.

Suguru groans. Satoru whimpers.

Satoru reaches over to the nightstand and searches around for lube. When he finds some, he hands it to Suguru and lets him slowly stretch him open with his fingers, lubricating Satoru’s waiting hole.

He’s already opening up for him.

Then, when he’s ready, Suguru guides Satoru’s hips down onto his waiting cock, the blunt head slowly pushing inside. Satoru moans pathetically, like he always does, and Suguru can’t help the breathless chuckle at the melody of his voice.

It’s slow, aching. Satoru would call it loving.

Once Suguru has bottomed out, his balls flush against Satoru’s ass, both of them moan again, panting heavily. Then Satoru lifts up onto his knees, slowly pulling himself up off of Suguru’s dick until only the tip is left inside.

“It was always going to end like this, baby,” Satoru whispers passionately, head falling back as his hips rock down onto Suguru’s, stretching himself open on his veiny length. “Was always going to be us, just like this.”

“Satoru,” Suguru chokes out, hands unconsciously coming to grip his ass. His fingers tighten into muscular flesh.

Satoru practically snarls, gripping Suguru’s hair and yanking his head back. “Say it again.”

Suguru moans loudly, lashes fluttering closed in ecstasy. “Satoru,” he repeats, and he feels Satoru pull back his hips, movements achingly slow, before dropping himself back down onto Suguru’s aching cock. Satoru’s moaning, too, but it sounds feral, like he’s fucking himself in an animalistic frenzy. He leans down to bite at Suguru’s throat, to leave bruising marks right above the red welt his knife left.

Suguru keens, his head falling back against the pillows as he plants his feet on the mattress and starts fucking up into Satoru’s hole. He’s no longer allowing the slow pace, instead chasing their highs with a brutal intensity. Satoru’s mouth pauses its attack on his throat, and all he can do is moan and whine into the crook of his neck. He just takes the punishing thrusts, clenching around Suguru hard enough to make his lover grunt and groan.

“Feels so good,” Satoru gasps against Suguru’s shoulder, pushing his hips into Suguru’s to force him even deeper. “Oh my god.”

“Fuck,” Suguru grits through his teeth. He rams his hips even faster, over and over again. It’s enough to make Satoru drool, spit dripping from the corner of his mouth until his tongue lolls out to catch it. “Gonna cum.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Satoru pants, shoulders heaving as he nods desperately. “Cum inside me, Suguru. Please.”

Suguru groans, his body arching as he does, and he cums, painting Satoru’s insides in white. At the sensation of Suguru’s perfect cock twitching inside him, at the sight of his blissed out expression, Satoru shudders with his own orgasm, ropes of cum spurting over Suguru’s muscular belly.

They pant heavily, in synchrony, perfectly in tune, as always.

As they come down, Suguru slowly helps Satoru off of his softening dick, making him whimper softly. Then he turns over and lets him get comfortable in bed, covering up his limp body with the blankets.

Satoru can’t help but smile as he closes his eyes. He’s gotten him back, he thinks. His Suguru.

But in the stillness comes a soft voice. “Satoru,” Suguru whispers from beside him, and Satoru can hear the anguish in his voice. “We can’t keep doing this.”

Satoru stiffens a little at his words. “Keep doing what?”

“Keep thinking things will change. It’s…it’s not going to.” Satoru stays silent, and Suguru speaks again, his voice mournful and melancholic. “We’re not good for each other, Satoru.”

He hisses, “We’re the only ones for each other.”

This time Suguru remains quiet, and neither of them speak again. Suguru slowly falls asleep, and Satoru wishes he could follow.

Instead, in the silence of night, Satoru reaches blindly into the darkness, fingers gripping the hilt of his blade. His fingers flex, and he wonders if this is really what he wants. He’s never wanted to hurt Suguru, even if that’s what they’ve been destined to do their entire lives.

But if he can’t be with Suguru in this life, then maybe the next will have to do.

So Satoru lifts the knife, aiming under ribs, and when he pushes inside his lover, blood runs slick. Suguru makes one last choking noise, gurgling into the darkness, violet eyes wide as they meet startling blue.

Then, nothing. And for a moment, Satoru is left alone, just like last time.

So, in the stillness, Satoru turns his knife on himself, and follows Suguru into their next life, hoping his sins won’t condemn him to repeating the cycle over again.

thank you for reading! -luna xx link to ao3

[haologram]

get to know me! 🍀

i was tagged by many people, but only remember @seungkw1 atm LOL note: if you were tagged and are looking for it, it is likely at the bottom! feel free to scroll past to see what was pinged for you <3

what's the origin of your blog title? i love xu minghao. that's about it <3

favorite fandoms? unfortunately, i have been neckdeep in fandomland since i was a kid, and i've been across many different ones. currently: enhypen, seventeen, stray kids, ateez, got7, monsta x, bangtan...lots of 'em 😭 but i am also into some games, a lot of show fandoms and such.

more under the cut!

otp(s)/shipname? oi vey...i am BALLS deep in jeongcheol land 😔 however, i do love wonchan and i am an avid enjoyer of verkwan. i just like people having fun i guess...if they kiss that's their business and idgaf !! (and you shouldn't either 💘)

favorite color? contrary to the color i've chosen for this tag game, i am a purple fiend. i love purple and i've loved purple since i was 5 years old. borahae, putas.

favorite game? video game wise, stardew valley! everything else...idk, i like jenga. i like...uno. monopoly. i fuck bitches up at monopoly.

song stuck in your head? million years ago by adele, my i by svt junhao, pink pony club by chappell roan

weirdest habit/trait? uhhh i'm not sure! probably that i make a lot of weird little noises for no reason

hobbies? writing, singing, dancing, drawing, makeup, cooking, baking, sewing...i just like making stuff LOL

if you work, what is your profession? i currently work at a pharmacy! but i am also a med student :)

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be? a novelist, or a songwriter.

something you're good at? making people laugh

something you're bad at? driving 💀

something you love? music. my faith. my family, the homies. i also love shoes and fashion.

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff? southern barbecue. have done it before, will do it again!

something you hate? i am incapable of hatred (people who refuse to change after issuing bullshit apologies.)

something you collect? photocards but not currently. i also like collecting jewelry and blankets!

something you forget? nothing. i have a very good memory, which is both a blessing and a curse.

what is your love language? i like to recieve & give gifts. however, i am also very fond of quality time and often indulge in parallel play with my friends. physical touch and i are not very good friends but if i am dating someone, it is very important to me.

favorite movie/show? so many! law & order svu, 2 broke girls, bob's burgers. as for movies, i love it, brave, mulan...the list goes on. i love films.

favorite food? anything my mom makes. i am a very finicky eater and i rarely eat at other people's homes.

favorite animal? cows!

are you musical? yes! i come from a very musical father, he loves to sing and dance and i am the same, however it is a very big part of my personality and i love to involve other people in singing with me and such.

what were you like as a child? i wanted to be cool :( i wanted people to like me! but aside from that, i was a very loud kid with introverted interests. i read a lot of books, i used to do speed reading competitions, and i struggled with a lot of things outside of the realm that i am willing to talk about. however, i was also a very anxious child who wanted to be liked and did everything she could to make that happen. as i grew older, i was bullied a bit but there is a lot of dynamics that play into that that i don't really want to get into. but, i wish little me knew she'd grow up to be pretty cool, anyway.

favorite subject at school? art and biology!

least favorite subject? math. i have dyscalculia.

what's your best character trait? funny, honest, confident.

what's your worst character trait? talks too much, anxious, selfish is 50/50.

if you could change any detail of your day right now, what would it be? nothing! i'm about to go to bed! :)

if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? my grandparents.

rec your fave fanfics (spread the love!): i will never shut up about favorite coworker by @sescoups (I'M SORRY JOSIE I CANNOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!) other fics i love and never stop reading over and over: - fake it til you make it by my angel tara @diamonddaze01 - orbit & perspective by my beloved tomogotchi @tomodachiii - hi (i love you) by my sweetest rania @wheeboo - rivers & roads by my dearest @miniseokminnies

tag others to complete (no pressure!): @wonuwoe @heechwe @be-my-sunrise @hanniesbrat @c-oupsie @wooahaeproductions @wqnwoos @bitchlessdino & whoever else wants to do it! say i tagged u <3

[toadletthethird]

Can we have cage for that ask game? :3

Ohhh thanks for the question! but I might be the bad person to ask this, because I love to talk about her wayyy too much

Send me a character and I'll list:

1) favourite thing about them

I love her so much from narrative standpoint for things she can represent. Her chapter can be a great statement about trauma response that is often overlooked. Fight or flight are great, of course, but freeze just hits home.

In prisoner's chapter her one resort of hope was lost. She made a plead to be saved in the act of decapitation and was unheard. Such a wish broken. To put everything into something to not work out is so painful. Especially the second time. And new attempts would just remind about the helplessness - disappointment is not an easy wound to heal - so it's easier to embrace it. To find meaning in your pain. It is cruel and absurd and undeserved, but it is yours. You can find beauty in its horrors. And it makes it significant. It gives it at least some little sense it needs to not be so painfully pointless. To her, at least. It's her way to survive. (Oh how I love overrationalisation as a way to cope)

And I like how it's shown that it's hurtful not only to her but to people around too. She is not violent herself, but by not rejecting this harmful behaviour she lets the circle of violence to continue. And it what happens when you fall into a mindset like this. You get so focused on endurance that you fail to see the aftermath of your actions. It can manifest as neglect, direct danger or, most often, the suffering your close ones feel watching you. And there's no exit from the cycle but to acknowledge how harmful your coping is. It's not her fault, but it is so. (Interestingly, while the Allegory of the cage ending is exactly like that, No Exit is about bringing someone on the same level as you.... Becoming the same danger you were afraid of..... and to project that fearful worldview onto someone, subconsciously.....I think it can have interesting connotations to real life)

I believe her story can be beautiful allegory to withstanding any traumatic event that gives you no other choice than to accept it. You know: grief, chronic illness, abuse, depression, etc. You name it

Also, there is a reading of prisoner-cage as an allegory to self harming behaviour in my main account. I can't say if it's as good as I remember it to be (I physically can't take a second look at anything I do until a decade passes - yeah, it's a curse thing. never trust fairies), but it's still very dear to me.

2) the least favourite thing about them

I'm a simple girl...... The only complaint I have is deleted dialogue from prisoner........

3) Favourite line

Of course it's "Look at us go. Aren't we beautiful?"

But honourable mention is her head pun because.......I love puns. And "What? Like the answer's obvisous? Like it's staring me right in the face? Just like you?" because it was so funny to find

4)brotp

Cage and HEA would find a lot in common. I like to make all damsel and prisoner based vessels friends. And I love parallels

Also with thorn and PATD because of the "were in terrible situations and survived" similarity. I just like to imagine them all happy together, you know

5) OTP

I....I might like her with broken........I just really like broken in this chapter

6) notp

Nothing there

7) random headcanon

She and Prisoner give me insane Antiquity vibes for no particular reason. So I like to imagine Cage speaking ancient Greek (a lot of linker words make this language sound extremely cycle like. And sometimes prepositions start somewhere and stretch a looooong way only to remind of themselves again in the end of the sentence - very chain like) and Prisoner speaking Latin (very clear to use intellectual language). Just for fun.

8) unpopular opinion

My hierarchy for cage's endings is: No Exit, The Riddle of Steel, Allegory of the Cage

Yeah, I'm so shameful about that, but.... I love tragedies..... And I don't like when the solution to the puzzle is beyond the puzzle....... I'm so glad happy ending for her exists, but it's not for me

Oh and I like the possibility of free will ending. It's horrendous, no doubt, but I'm glad that there is such a choice available. After the horror of withdrawal we can experience the horror of freedom. Absurd of selfexpression. There is something about it

9) Song I associate with them

"I bet on losing dogs" by mitski simply because she is my baby :(

10) favourite image

Oh I love every shot from this chapter. But the dance sequence particularly

(Also there is a very particular shot when you strike her in the heart and her body, while still standing, holds the blade so firmly but I'm afraid it's too risky for tumblr and I'm not in a risky mood hahah)

That's all!

[beefrobeefcal]

... And Nowhere to Hide feat. Frankie Morales & f!reader

Summary: An alternate ending to All Pent Up & No Where to Go in which Frankie really blows it. To find out where this all started, start with that fic.

Pairing: Frankie & Mouse | Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 3,190

PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING Content Warnings: could be viewed as DDDNE, toxic relationship, alcoholism, broken relationship, domestic violence [not overt but could be viewed as such], hurt, drunk driving [don't do it!], ending of a relationship, body insecurity, adultery, cheating, there are no happy endings in real life bub.

Author's Notes: Even though this is an AU ending to All Pent Up & Nowhere to Go, I'm seeing this as the end of Frankie & Mouse. The original ending to that fic always felt like it didn't fit right and now that I am moving on from writing weight fics, this seemed like the right OTP to torpedo. I'm not sorry but I hope you'll forgive this beef anyway.

Thank you to @strang3lov3 for brainstorming this with me, and to @bitchesuntitled, @mothandpidgeon and @neverwheremoonchildfor their eyes and love.

No more tag lists - follow @beefnotes + turn on notifications for fic updates!

“That’s why you had to hide it then, huh?”, he yelled again, this time, sadness and hurt clearly in his voice. He didn’t know how to tell you the deep hurt he felt, thinking you were hiding seeking pleasure on your own from him; thinking you didn't want him anymore and could replace him with a fucking vibrator, “Wait till I’m not home and then fuck yourself? Don’t need me anymore?” 

You saw his body language show more than his words could say. He was hurting and had been hurting for a while. You had no clue that he was making this whole big change for you, and now you’d basically told him that after all that hard work, you’d replaced him. No, you had no idea what was running through his head. All you knew was that you were tired of being rebuffed and ignored and wanted to give yourself some much needed pleasure and release and he was mad at you for it. 

“How fucking dare you! You barely even look at me anymore – let alone touch me – and you want to give me shit for wanting to - to feel good?”, you yelled back, standing up from the bed. His face fell and his big brown eyes widened. Your emotions were getting the better of you, and you could feel the hot tears begin to flood your eyes. Your voice cracked. “What is happening, Frankie? Talk to me!” 

He said nothing. He just turned and hurried out of the room, and you heard the back door slam shut and the garage door open. You waited to hear the truck start, but nothing came. You grabbed your things from the bathroom and bedroom and settled into the guest room. 

*****

Frankie stormed out of the house, slamming the door as hard as he could on the way out. He ripped the door to his truck open and got in, choosing to forgo  buckling his seatbelt as he pulled out of the driveway. 

How could you? How could you just lay on your shared bed, looking so beautiful and untouchable while you made yourself feel so good. Without him. He tried to forget how sad your eyes were as you pulled back your hand after his rejection. His pride wouldn’t let him linger on that because his pride was not going to let him turn the truck around and throw himself at your feet, begging for forgiveness. 

He pulled up to the regular bar the group would all hang out at, and sat for a moment. Frankie pulled out his phone, expecting to see missed calls, but all that showed up on his screen was the alert from their doorbell cam, announcing his departure. 

His heart ached. He was getting healthier and back in shape and he should be happier. But he wasn’t. He was feeling worse about everything and drinking more to offset it, and even if he didn’t want to acknowledge it, a small part of him knew that this was all on him, not on you.

He wanted so badly for you to give him a sign, anything, to come back to the house and make it right. He told himself he didn’t want to go to the bar again and drink until his broken soul was numb and he knew by being here again, he was putting another nail in your relationship’s coffin.  His fingers twitched on the steering wheel, as if to let him know the bar was just right there - all he had to do was go in and he could forget all of this, at least for the night. Frankie didn’t know how long he’d sat there, but he was brought back to reality as a loud group of people exited the bar to smoke. He sighed, biting back the sick feeling making his skin feel wrong, and went into the bar. 

****

Frankie was downing his third beer when a hand came onto his shoulder.

“No Mouse?”

Frankie looked up and saw Natalie, one of Santi’s previous conquests, looking back at him. He cleared his throat and shook his head, looking back down at his beer. “No.”

He heard her pull the stool next to his out and moved it closer to him. “Trouble at home?”, she asked, sitting down. He could feel how warm her body was against his, making the ache in his chest feel deeper, reminding him that he was here and you weren’t.

“I-uh..”, he cleared his throat again. “It’s not been great.”

Her hand came up and sympathetically rubbed on his. “I’m sorry to hear that, Frankie.”

He nodded, eyeing her, then took another sip of beer.

“Well, you look great.”, she says a little too enthusiastically for Frankie, and he only sighed in response. 

“Look, Natalie. I’m not gonna be great company. I just wanna cool down before I go back home and… and…”, he dropped his head in his hands. “I don’t fucking know what I’m gonna do. I don’t know how to-”

“Frankie.”, Natalie interjected. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. It’s pretty clear what’s going on.”

He looked up at her, brows furrowed in confusion. “You’re doing something for yourself, to make yourself feel better, and Mouse isn’t happy.”

Frankie wanted to correct her. He wanted to tell her that it was on him, that he was doing this for you and he felt like shit, and he wanted nothing more than to go home and hold the most important person in the world to him - you. 

But he didn’t. Instead, he accepted the shots Natalie ordered, and let her say horrible, untrue things about you, all because he was getting his ego stroked. 

So he said nothing, just nodded along. He didn’t put his barriers up and tell her to move her chair away. He didn’t stop her hands from touching him. He didn’t stop her from crawling on his lap, and he didn’t stop her when she kissed him.

Worst of all, he didn’t stop himself from taking her to his truck and doing everything he’d wanted to do with you to Natalie in the backseat.

*****

Natalie was still in the backseat of his truck, pulling her bra back on and Frankie was drinking down the two day old, open bottle of Gatorade to wash the taste of her out of his mouth. 

Frankie’s head was swimming. The alcohol was working its way through his system.

The dread that washed over him was sobering for a moment as he put the lid back on the bottle and caught a glimpse of Natalie in a rearview mirror, warm soft light from the street lamps illuminating her silhouette. She smiled up at him and crawled into the front seat.

“I was thinking-”

“No.”, Frankie said, sharper than he intended, shaking his head and feeling the alcohol swirl his vision. His tone softened, “This shouldn’t have happened.”

There was silence from the seat next to him. He couldn’t bring himself to face her, so he slurred in a harsh whisper again, “This shouldn’t have happened.”

There was the sound of a sharp breath followed by, “Are you fucking serious?”

“Natalie, I-”

“Are you fucking serious, Morales?” Natalie’s words were accentuated with a slightly drunken lilt and cold laughter. “Oh my god!”

He growled and looked up at her angrily. “What did you fucking expect?”

“That you’d be done with that little fuckwit and wake up!”

Frankie stared at Natalie, aghast and trying to fight the alcohol in his system and find the right words to shut her down, but she was quicker.

“Look what she did to you! Your little feeder is mad you won’t eat and kicks you out!”

Frankie sat with his mouth slightly agape. He knew that was not what happened but he couldn’t spit it out.

“Oh come on, Frankie!”, she scoffed in a laugh. “I’ve known you for how long? And since you’ve been with her, you got fat. Like fucking fat! She made you fat because she’s a freak and who fucking knows why you put up with it!”

“Get the fuck out.” His soft tone was menacing.

“Or what?”, she challenged him, her drunkenness emboldening her. “You can’t go back to that. I won’t let you, Frankie. She doesn’t deserve you! I can’t just let you go back to someone who asks to be called ‘Mouse’ over her real name! There’s something wrong with her and she needs help, acting like this is healthy to do this to you. You have to see-”

“I am doing this for her!”, Frankie shouted, cutting Natalie off. His eyes had softened and were now pleading and his voice dropped to a lower volume. “I’m doing this for her.”

“Frankie, I ca - you don’t have to defend her. I get it, and I want to help -”

“Just get out.”

Frankie’s drive from the bar was - in short - chaotic. He’d stopped at a corner store and picked up a case of beer, then drove out to a quiet look out, downing one right another the other.

He tried to drown the heavy lump of dread as he watched the sky lighten. Something told him could find a way to fix this if he could think of the right words to say to you, and if he could get the water in the shower hot enough, he could scrub Natalie from his skin like it never happened. 

The drive to your shared house was confusing. The street signs were unreadable through his tears and beer fueled haze and his stomach felt nauseous from the smell of Natalie permeating the truck cab. He couldn’t remember what colour meant stop or go, so he just drove by muscle memory alone.

*****

You’d tossed and turned all night long, unable to get comfortable. Any time you found yourself finally drifting off to sleep, the pangs of anxiety reverberated in your body, making your limbs ache and your skin feel too hot and too cold simultaneously. 

The light coming in from the window told you it was very early in the morning. The dredges of sleeplessness made your body feel heavy, making getting out of bed that much harder when you heard Frankie’s truck pull up.

As you padded down the hallway, you heard the back door open and Frankie’s heavy footsteps on the mudroom floor. You turned the corner into the kitchen and watch as he toed his boots off, looking slightly unsteady on his feet. The hair popping out from around his hat seemed more mussed and his clothing looked like he’d slept in them. He was clearly drunk and you were furious with him for driving home like that. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it as of late, and it wasn’t the first time he’d come home with his tail between his legs, drunk and pleading.

“Are you drunk?”

Your harshly spoken words cut through the heavy silence and Frankie looked up at you, eyes weary and desperate.

“Mouse - baby…” 

His words were slurred and desperate, and his voice was rough and sounded like he was in pain. He turned his body facing you and you saw that his lips looked reddened and worried and something on his neck. It was a hickey or bite mark, framed with a hint of red lipstick. Realization washed over you and you felt sick. 

Frankie reached out a hand to you, watching your face fall and pull away from him. “Baby, no, please!”

“What did you do…” Your words came out in a broken whisper and Frankie lumbered towards you, reaching out. Instead of falling into his hold, you shook your head and turned away towards your bedroom. 

“MOUSE!”

The volume at which he yelled your name made you stop in your tracks and turn around, and what you saw made your stomach churn. Frankie’s fists were clenched by his sides and he was breathing hard. His whole body seemed to be tense, like a snake would coil up before it striked, and his face was twisted in anguish and rage.

You froze. This was not your Frankie - it was just Frankie, drunk and looking the way he’d described his dad. You watched in abject horror as he moved towards you, and both of you stared into the other’s eyes.

Frankie broke the connection first with a sharp sob followed by his voice cracking with his slurred words. “Don’t look at me like that! Please, Mouse - I can explain, baby!”

You shook your head, face twisting in hurt, confusion and anger. You couldn’t keep going through the cycle of fighting, Frankie getting drunk  and having to bear the brunt of it. You stood your ground, yelling back at him, “You’re fucking drunk again - I don’t want to hear it -”

Frankie shook his head. “Just fucking listen to me!”

You couldn’t hold back the tears any longer and sobbed, “Get out!”

Natalie’s words about how you were the villain were leaching into his mind, peeling back the rational thought and fueling the insecurities he carried. You were the one who did this to him. You were the one who was forcing him to change. Everyone else could see it - why couldn’t you? You deserved what he did because now you knew how he felt every time you went out in public and other men’s eyes danced over your body and he just had to sit back like a cuck and let it happen. 

His breathing was growing rapid, and his eyes were fixed on you like a bull seeing red. As you turned to go into your room, Frankie lunged forward and reached out, grabbing your arm. He yanked you away from the bedroom door. 

“Don’t you EVER walk away from me when I am talking to you!”

“Let go! You’re hurting m - “

“You don’t get to to tell me when to leave my house!”

“Frankie! Stop it!”

You pushed him back and turned around, but his arms came around your waist, pulling you back into him. His hot, beer soaked breath painted the side of your neck and face.

“Mouse! I just-I just wanna talk… that’s all, baby.. I love you and i don’t wanna let you go-.”

He was cut off by your elbowing his abdomen, and it gave you a chance to get away from him. You ran into your room and slammed the door and locked, then stood back and watched the door shake from Frankie’s fists pounding on the other side. 

Grabbing your phone, you dialed the only number your trembling hands could.

Will answered his phone groggily and all he heard was your panicked crying and Frankie screaming in the background. 

*****

The morning was a blur. Will arrived with Benny quicker than you could have hoped for. Will and Benny had finally managed to drag Frankie from the house and out into the detached garage, but just barely. Based on the damage he’s inflicted on his friends who were trying to help, Benny was scared shitless as to what he would find on the other side of your bedroom door.

You’d finally opened the bedroom door when you’d made Benny promise that Will would keep Frankie out of the house. As soon as he was in the room with you, Benny’s concern had him kneeling on the floor in front of you, asking over and over if you were okay… if Frankie had hit you… if you were hurt… and each question, you could only shake your head. The reality of the situation was settling in, knowing this was not something you could just come back from easily and Benny held you as you cried.

Will had called Santi over to keep Frankie in place in the garage. The last thing he wanted was for him to get back into the house and see that Benny was helping you pack enough of your stuff to tie you over for a few days. 

Santi went into the house to get some water and found you standing at the kitchen table, wiping your eyes as you packed some important paperwork you weren’t sure you wanted to leave behind. He had no idea what to say, so Santi said nothing. 

He grabbed a cup from the cupboard and the pitcher of water from the fridge, leaving you in silence. 

*****

You’d left that day and moved in with Benny and his two cats - Butter and Bagels. Frankie’s infidelity had come fully to light with Natalie laying it all out for Santi and then Frankie confirmed it all, solidifying your choice to leave.

The break up had affected every part of the group, and while you assumed that you were in the right for walking away, Will shocked you when he told you to forgive and get back with Frankie.

“You don’t get it. Honey, I know he fucked up, but you’re better than that. You want loyalty, you have to be loyal, Mouse.”, he’d said sternly to you from across the table at a Denny’s. “You don’t leave a man when he’s down, and Frankie has seen some shit. You belong together, Mouse. You know that!”

It was a given that when you told Benny what Will had said, he drove straight to his house, barged in and punched Will square in the face, breaking his nose. 

Santi had sent you a bullshit text telling you that while he was sorry for what happened, Frankie was his brother and he needed to stand with him. He wished you well and said he’d be around if you needed anything. You angrily toyed with the idea of sending a curse-laden response, but instead just blocked his number and deleted the message. 

It had taken six months for you to begin to feel like yourself again. You’d joined a social group in the apartment complex and made a few acquaintances in the laundry room. You’d even switched to a new department at the accounting firm, allowing you to work from home.

Home. You had a home again. Benny’s apartment was finally home for you and you were cautiously optimistic for your future. 

The bar you’d frequented with the group was now considered non-existent to you. Benny even vowed to not darken its doorway in solidarity, so the two of you had found a new dive to hang out in. 

It was a little further out of the way, but it was quieter, and less of a bar and more of an all-night bistro. It didn’t hurt that the bartender there was easy on the eyes, what with his shorter hair, the small offset blonde patch in the front and his jewel-toned southern drawl crackling light lightning across the bar. 

You hadn’t gotten the courage to speak to him, let alone hold eye contact. At least not until one evening, you’d bravely wandered in - sand Benny - and sat at the bar instead of the booth you normally did.

The bartender turned around and put his weight on the counter, leaning slightly towards you, and with his cheshire grin, he asked, 

“And what can I get for you, little bird?”

No more tag lists - follow @beefnotes + turn on notifications for fic updates!

[choccy-zefirka]

OTP Vibes Game

Thank you for tagging me, @nevarrantorte ! I will go with my Classical Beloveds! Yvie Lavellan and Gereon Alexius!

Local half-dwarf, half-elf Inquisitor worms her way into the withered old heart of her vanquished enemy! We are all very proud!

Ft. guest arts by @themaybug and @mutantenfisch !

Tropes: Age Difference, Height Difference, Second Love (for Alexius), Villain Redemption Arc, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slowburn, somewhat Teacher/Student (Yvie gets some magical abilities due to the Mark and Alexius, in his half-researcher, half-prisoner capacity, is brought in to help make sense of it), Canon Divergence (obviously), Fix-It (in that Felix becomes a Warden and has to come home to having a stepmother who's only a couple years older than him; he's very chill about it though), Fairy-Tale Retelling (I love likening them to the story of the Scorpion and the Frog: is Alexius evil by nature? Will he act according to his evil nature? Is Yvie wrong to put so much trust in him?)

Songs (I am taking out-of-context lyrics for most of these, as I do not so much make OTP playlists as hear a random song on the radio or in the credits of an unrelated movie, and go, "Aha! This has OTP vibes!")

Oh no, not now Please not now I've just settled into the glass half empty, made myself at home And so why now? Oh, please not now I just stopped believing in happy endings, harbors of my own But you had to come along, didn't you? Tear down the doors Throw open windows Oh, if you knew just what a fool you have made me So, what do I do with this?

(Vienna Teng, Stray Italian Greyhound)

There will be times On this journey All you see is darkness But out there somewhere Daylight finds you If you keep believing

So don't run, don't hide It will be all right You'll see Trust me I'll be there Watching over you

Just take a look through my eyes There's a better place somewhere out there Oh, just take a look through my eyes Everything changes, you'll be amazed what you'll find If you look through my eyes

(Phil Collins, Look Through My Eyes)

I was housed by your warmth Thus transformed By you're grounded and giving And darkening scorn Remember me, love When I'm reborn As a shrike to your sharp And glorious thorn

(Hozier, Shrike)

You're so consumed with how much you get You waste your time with hate and regret You're broken When your heart's not open

Mmm, if I could melt your heart We'd never be apart Mmm, give yourself to me You hold the key

(Madonna, Frozen)

And this mountain, I must climb Feels like the world upon my shoulders And through the clouds, I see love shine It keeps me warm as life grows colder In my life, there's been heartache and pain I don't know if I can face it again Can't stop now, I've travelled so far To change this lonely life

(Foreigner, I Want to Know What Love Is)

I, I'm a new day rising I'm a brand-new sky to hang the stars upon tonight I, I'm a little divided Do I stay or run away and leave it all behind? It's times like these you learn to live again It's times like these you give and give again

(Foo Fighters, Times Like These)

Look how far you've come, you filled your heart with love Baby, you've done enough, take a deep breath Don't beat yourself up, no need to run so fast Sometimes we come last, but we did our best I won't give up, no, I won't give in 'Til I reach the end, and then I'll start again No, I won't leave, I wanna try everything I wanna try even though I could fail I'll keep on making those new mistakes I'll keep on making them every day Those new mistakes

(Shakira, Try Everything)

Come into these arms again And lay your body down The rhythm of this trembling heart Is beating like a drum It beats for you, it bleeds for you It knows not how it sounds For it is the drum of drums It is the song of songs Once I had the rarest rose That ever deigned to bloom Cruel winter chilled the bud And stole my flower too soon Oh loneliness, oh hopelessness To search the ends of time For there is in all the world No greater love than mine

(Annie Lennox, Love Song for a Vampire)

And some pictures! :D

We've got some tried and true tropes, like ice melting, new plants growing from ash, light shining into darkness, and of course, the aforementioned Scorpion and the Frog.

I am tagging @sky-scribbles ! Gimme your Murder School Gays!

[sauron-kraut]

Get to know your Mutuals

Thank you for tagging me @perlen-gold! 🖤

What's the origin of your blog's title? @lvsifer and I were talking about a certain Middle-Earth cookbook with some truly funky recipes, unfortunately there were none for Mairon so we were like... What would he eat? He would definitely be into eating raw meat. Mettbrötchen are a German specialty, basically a bread roll with butter and minced raw pork (yes, you heard that right), preferably with pepper and red onions. So Mairon's Mettbrötchen was born - doesn't it just fuck phonetically?

Favorite Fandoms: The Silm fandom 🖤 I have never been truly active in any other fandom.

OTP(s) + shipname: Angbang (Mairon/Melkor). Most other ships I love/like are fucked up in a way that makes OTP sound wrong to describe them (not that an OTP can't have a fucked up dynamic of course!).

Favorite color: red, black, gold, rusty colors, yellow

Favorite game: Not a a gamer person.

Song stuck in your head:

Weirdest habit/trait? Super randomly talking to myself when I'm alone at home? Could be pieces of dialogue I'm planning for a fic, could be imaginary discussion scenarios with friends or coworkers... you name it.

Hobbies: Writing.

If you work, what's your profession? I'm a linguist specializing in language change, particularly grammatical change. I don't currently work in that field though; I work at a technical university in event management and student recruiting.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? I'd work as a linguist and teach at university again.

Something you're good at: Learning languages quickly, imitating native accents in languages (other than English, probably due to my idgaf attitude when it comes to that, so have a weird mix of different accents in English mixed with a very slight German and Dutch accent. lol), teaching, public speaking, being thoughtful with gifts, cooking

Something you're bad at: Remembering birthdays, sometimes texting back, sometimes cleaning, MATH (oh god)

Something you excel at: being anxious, overthinking, understanding how languages are structured and applying this to learning them

Something you love: reading, poetry, writing, my apartment, partying, various altered states of consciousness from time to time, dancing, 80s music, techno, prosecco, cooking, food, Berlin, fandom, my mom, my friends, traveling

Something you could talk about for hours without off the cuff: linguistics, language change, The Silm

Something you hate: coriander and water melon

Something you collect: Nothing really that comes to mind.

Something you forget: birthdays, appointments

What's your love language? The concept of love languages has its problems but if I just use this to describe how I do express my love: giving cute gifts, cooking for people, listening to them, open communication, spending quality time together

Favorite movie/show: LOTR and MANY more, show: DARK, Sense8, The Sinner

Favorite food: so many different soups, kebap, pizza, STEAK, schnitzel, peruvian food, birria tacos

Favorite animal: three-toed sloth

Are you musical? I know how to play the saxophone and I did so decently. But I wouldn't say I'm musical.

What were you like as a child? I have to quote @perlen-gold here: An insufferable know-it-all.

Favorite subject at school? German, English, philosophy, biology

Least favorite subject? MATHS. And PE.

What's your best character trait? I'm honest and good at communicating openly.

What's your worst character trait? Avoidant behavior, procrastinating literally everything

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? I would make the sun rise again so it doesn't feel like another of those depressing winter nights.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? I can't think of anyone I'd genuinely want to meet.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

elektra by @lvsifer. What a masterpiece. Also please have a look at the fanfics I recommended here!

Last but not least, show your favorite fanart of your favorite character(s) (please remember to credit/add links!):

Mairon by @lvsifer

So many more art from talented and skilled artists that I love, but I had to make a decision here and this one will haunt me forever 🖤

✨Tagging @crackinthecup, @cilil, @elevenelvenswords, @admirably-abhorrent, @tauw-nu-fuin, @peasant-player, @blauerregen and @lvsifer

[batnbreakfast]

Okay I'm so curious because I see you posting about it all the time but I never know what is *actually* going on.

What does the zoom booze no doom thing entail? What are the rules? What is the origin story? Can anyone join?

I love when newer mutuals finally ask about Zoom. 😄

So my main and OTP fandom is Berena - Bernie Wolfe & Serena Campbell in the great *giggles* British hospital soap series Holby City.

Zoom, Booze, no Doom was born as an idea to actually watch Berena scenes together. At the end of 2019 this started as a bit of idle talk about how to actually do this, but you know : time zones, private lives, and so on…

Until, at the start of 2020, we suddenly all had nothing much more to do, but sit at home, watch tv, and worry about Covid.

So in April 2020 a weekly Berena Zoom rewatch started, hosted by a fandom friend. Everyone was welcome to join in. We skipped the doom scenes, which is how the name of our Zoom was born, because there was enough doom for everyone in real life, and finished our rewatch around the end of June, if I remember correctly.

The Zoom was fun! It was great to meet fandom friends at least virtually. It was a space to talk and vent and scream about our beloved on our screens. For me, it was something solid in uncertain times.

After we finished the rewatch, I didn’t want to stop zooming, so I took over as the host. We watched all kinds of media with our favs. The good, the mediocre, and the very, very bad things. We branched out. We had Halloween Zooms and Christmas Zooms. Bat’s belated birthday Zoom. Anniversary Zooms. ESC Zooms and live watch Zooms when Doctor Who or Silent Witness aired.

Covid restrictions became less and less, real life took over more space again, I started working and travelling again, but we’re still meeting up whenever I’m home (and not sick *sighs*).

We chat about our lives - there’s definitely more to tell nowadays - then we watch something together, then we chat some more, and at some point I kick everyone out of the Zoom because I’m getting tired. 😄

Some of us have been doing this since the very first Zoom. Some left, some joined in. Some take part whenever their busy life allows. A lot of us met in real life by now. We’re friends. Some of us went to the theatre together as a group from all over the world. While we all seem to suffer from severe writer’s block somehow these days, while Holby City has stopped airing for quite a while, we still hold on to our tiny, close knitted fandom corner. I feel like the Zoom changed our approach towards our fandom quite a bit.

I wouldn’t have thought that we’d make our first anniversary, but now it seems like we might reach our fifth? Five years, huh. Amazing. I love everyone taking part in this and I’m deeply grateful for the friendships grown from the Zoom.

I’ll stop being soppy now.

The rules are quite simple: Be kind. Bring joy. An interest in whatever we’re watching. A love for Berena and their actresses is a good thing.

If someone joins in for the first time, it’s nice if they chose a Zoom name that’s connected to their Tumblr, so we know who they are. Letting me know in advance is appreciated, because I tend to get anxiety if a new name pops up unexpectedly. 😌

Hope this answers your questions!

PS: I tend to avoid Zoom posts breaking containment these days (my nightmare was a containment break for a Doctor Who live watch 😂 - there’s only so many people I can host), so reblogs are off on this one.

[minsu-the-cowardly-human]

UglyDolls shipping chart

Whoo boy so this orginal chart has been since deleted but people have uploaded their versions of it so I frankensteined this together + added Nolan. The explanations and list of the ships will be below the cut

OTP:

Lou x Ox: Listen I know Ox calls him like a brother but in my headcanon he only says that because he has #interalizedhomophobia. Anyways, I just love love the idea of them being toxic but also sweet together...idk chat they got somethin' to 'em!! I'm just like that one cow pic that's "man" like...wow they are so terrible together!!! I ship Ribbun what do you expect, lol

Lou x Moxy: Ok this one I can actually explain with real words a bit more. Firstly I like how in the Ugly Truth song I know this is apart of the whole manipulative stuff or whatever BUTTT i do like he says she makes him tongue-tied and calls her pretty before the back-up singers go in. I know, I know that's the point...but I mean...tongue-tied is an inherently romantic phrasing for me. Also I LOVE how Moxy is in the crowd smiling like an idiot as she's listening to him call everybody else ugly and she's the only one still smiling when her and crew gets the spotlight on them. I don't think she's stupid, considering none of the rest of them are smiling at this point AND she starts frowning once his "prettttttyyyyyyyyy" goes on for a bit..long..to the point she knows he's not being serious yk? Idk I just..love the idea of her being like a fangirl over his appearance, at least, and him finding it cute. Idkkk chat!! IdkkkK!!!

Like:

Tuesday x Kitty x Lydia: Idk I like the idea of them being poly together :3

Mandy x Kitty: Idk maniuplative girlboss toxicity yes yes. I chose Mandy and Kitty specifically because Kitty seems to be the leader of the pack of the spy girls/the most outwardly mean. I wanna see Mandy make a "not like other girls" meme with her and Kitty and Kitty gets on her about it before she realizes how pretty Mandy looks :>

Mandy x Nolan: They're both outcasts/"ugly", maybe they could get together or at least be friends!

Lou x Nolan: Nolan fawning over Lou and the first scene at the academy where Nolan is like "wait you criticized us because you love me?" and then Lou is like "yes" *looks away n back* "I love all of you" like...idk I think they could be cute together

Wage x Uglydog: Idk just a thought I had during the movie when Wage was getting on his ass about trying to rizz up everybody and failing. Horribly. Maybe she could rizz him up idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Moxy x Lucky Bat: Whoo I don't know just the way he talks to her during the tea scene and the way she kisses Ox on the cheek and pats his shoulder at the end of the first song makes it feel like to me he's getting friendzoned by her. Maybe I'm looking too much into things but that's the vibe I get. Plus idk...they could be kinda cute together...

Like/Neutral:

Babo x Lou: I don't know I like the tiny micro interaction they have in the Ugly Truth song. I don't have much of an excuse for this one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Babo x Wage: I like the idea of her coming home to her supportive hubby :3 idk it just clicks in my brain

Neutral:

Ox x Moxy: Idk it just doesn't click with me. Maybe it's because while searching for Lou x Ox stuff I saw someone mention that Moxy and Ox are "related" because the kids are related even tho it's never said in the movie. Maybe I see them more as friends. Idk. I respect it though and I think it's dumb to think they're related, if we're going by that logic you couldn't ship anybody cuz they're all made in the same factory. Edit: Got the reason wrong but I still think it's stupid to think it's bad to ship them. More info here:

Mandy x Moxy: Idk again it just doesn't click with me. I get the appeal 100% since Moxy is the first one to validate her for wearing glasses. But I dunno it feels weird for Moxy to say her glasses makes her who she is instead of her..personality? Idk. Maybe I'm being petty but it doesn't click for me. Respect it though.

**Edit: Ox x Lucky Bat: Damn I forgot these fuckers. Anyways, they're..alright. I like their colors though. Idk for me there's not enough there for me to ship them

Not Really:

Lou x Tuesday: He doesn't pay much attention to her. It feels like a hopeless fangirl falling for her favorite member of a boy band (which is fitting since Lou is voiced by Nick Jonas from the Jonas Brothers lol). Idk it doesn't seem Lou cares much about the spy girls unless they can do something for him, which is fine but I don't see the appeal personally. Respect those who do tho.

Lou x Mandy: .....okkkk listen ok I can't say shit about people who ship this or why I don't ship it because I ship fuckin Lou x Nolan and Lou x Moxy ok. I'm no stranger to shipping Lou with somebody he calls ugly lol is what I'm saying. But idk...Mandy doesn't seem to like him very much and he certainly doesn't like her but there's no small moment of something for me to ship them, like the "i love all of you" scene with Nolan or Moxy being a tiny fangirl. To me, it doesn't click. Respect those who do however. Again, I am a big rarepair/crackshipper I uh can't say shit about how much a ship makes sense to me lol.

[dancing-dawn]

If you haven't got him yet, then how about Rampo? :)

Ooooh good hit, I actually love Ranpo quite a lot! This will be, like, hilariously shorty-er in volume (and a lot more... 'hinged', if you may) than my Aku/Atsu ones because well, ya know me, but I’m having such a blast here too!

Favourite thing: Ranpo’s been one of my favourites ever since his cute little face appeared on my screen and especially after his ‘ability’ was revealed. Even if it sounds very basic, I love the twist of his whole character spiel - being a genius without an ability, a true genius. It took me back, I was so surprised at first and he kept leaving me in awe again and again with both his funny antics and his careful strategizing.

Least favourite thing: Oh, you cannot make me talk shit about my son. Try again.

Favourite line: “Guns are interesting, aren't they? For some reason, whenever anyone holds one, they become stupid.”

-> this one goes so hard honestly, my boy’s spilling facts

brOTP: Getting to this part made me realize Ranpo doesn’t have any true friends imao. But because of angst and lore reasons - Ranpo & Yosano. Him welcoming Yosano to the agency and recognizing and accepting her worth as a person, instead of an object for warfare, still makes me emotional - I wish they interacted more after that!

OTP: Ranpoe, of course lol, is there any other valid option here hihi. I love their pathetic barely-even-there rivalry. Poe’s flaming jealousy giving way to feelings of admiration and adoration. He cannot be angry at Ranpo, as hard as he tries, for being better than him and it’s absolutely adorable. Them coming to work together as a team is just a delight <3

nOTP: Admittedly, I am not versed in any other Ranpo ships soooo I guess everything else that isn’t Ranpoe question mark ??

Random headcanon: There have been many days when he’s tried his damn best at learning to use the train alone and failed spectacularly every time, but thankfully no one was there to see! And of course he would never admit to it, silently hoping Atsushi would be so kind to accompany him again.

Unpopular opinion: Oh forgive my ignorance once again for my minimalistic knowledge of mainstream fandom takes is failing me. I'm trying to think of something scandalous to say here but?? I just love him a lot and I respect him as a character, I've never formed any controversial opinions! I guess like mmmm sometimes his ego gets in the way of what could be a quick and easy, almost instant even, solution to a case, but in a way he's just gotta play with his food a little, give little hints and speak in circles like an overpowered magician and leave it to the tragic protagonists to play the real game. Which is fun actually! At least from our audience perspective lol, sure not for poor ADA agents who just wanna finish work and go home without overtime!

Song I associate with them: If we exclude his official(?) character song, which for obvious reasons fits very well, Detective Conan Main Theme! Oh what an absolute bob :D

Favourite picture: Oh, I was waiting for this one...

I have so many bursting feelings for this scene, it is one of my favourite moments in the whole series and I look upon it fondly. The anime voice actors did such a magnificent job on this one, you can feel the raw emotion clawing at you, it's simply spectacular, a piece of art. The English one especially tugs at my heartstrings with such insane power every time I rewatch it. It is so very important to me.

[another-lost-mc]

OH MY GOD JES YOURE BACK 😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

⤷ me crawling out of an unofficial hiatus because OM's twitter posted that damn teaser pic of Karasu holding a ring

I do feel bad for not being online much lately. To the anons that have left messages like these for me, I appreciate you and I'm sorry I wasn't in the headspace to reply as quickly as I would've liked. 😭

Nightbringer's story ending felt like a good time to take a break from things for a while. I haven't been consistently active on Tumblr lately for a lot of reasons, but the OM franchise shifting into neutral was part of it. I've been keeping busy with other things:

Work. Work is good but it is also evil. Last year I accepted a promotion so I went from working less and having lots of spare time to working too much and having no spare time. It's only in the past month that I've managed to correct my work/life balance to something more sustainable. (Related to this, I've been dealing with long-term flare-ups of my chronic illness and lacking spoons for socializing which meant I wasn't spending much time on my computer even if I had free time. Thankfully, this is also improving now which is great 'cause it sounds like Solmare is up to nonsense again.)

Playing other games. I'll admit that I haven't logged onto either OM app in ages. I've mostly been playing Twisted Wonderland and HSR these days. I'm so thrilled that I got Crowley's SSR and I'm excited for Crewel's upcoming release. I tried to get into LADS but it just wasn't for me, although I still play it very casually sometimes. I still play WHB casually too, because the characters are so so so hot even if the EN translation is a bit wonky.

Catching up on other hobbies. So much anime and manga lol. I rewatched Demon Slayer and I've been watching Haikyuu!! and Delicious in Dungeon. New selfships and otp ships galore. I've been deep-diving into my ao3 bookmarks and re-reading some of my favourite ship fics too. Oh, and I've been reading a lot of BL manga/manhwa and buying copies for my home library.

R&R: So many naps! So much relaxing on the couch with the kitties and a book and cup of tea. I don't normally like going on trips so staycations are my go-to. The last one was a few months ago when we went to Toronto for a concert and stayed overnight to make the most of it. We didn't go away for Victoria Day, but we're going to the cottage next weekend instead. It should be fun.

Even with all that going on, things keep circling back to Obey Me when I get the urge to write something. I've been revisiting old drafts of things I was working on before. A while ago I bought the Barbatos Makeship plushie and the Karasu/RAD pin set, a rare splurge since buying physical merch is a pain. I haven't been buying as much online these days with all the trade nonsense going on.

Oh, and let's not forget the OCs. I have some new OC art commissions to add to their official galleries too. I swear, if you ever worry about losing your love for OM, just make an OC. Come up with a design and interesting backstory and headcanons for them, and you'll be set. Mine have been rotating in my brain like rotisserie chickens this entire time so even when I'm not writing or talking about them online, part of me is still thinking about the OM world and the OCs and how they fit into it. I also have a backlog of OC-related asks I'd like to catch up on at some point; it's time to make the OC brain rot everyone's problem and not just mine. lol

Anyway, that's what I've been up to these days. 🥹

[gayautisticraccoon]

Get to know me!

Tagged by the beautiful @clawbehavior and @mayykit (lowkey forgot about this so it took me a while :P)

1. What's the origin of your username?

This one is pretty straight forward I think xD

2. OTPs and ship names!

Gahan - Kim Gaon/Kang Yohan

KangJae - Baek Kanghyuk/Yang Jae-Won

I have some others that I really like but I'm not active in the fandoms much anymore so gonna skip those ^^

3. Fav color

This changes almost constantly for me tbh, I can never decide lmao But I really like black and red together

4. Song stuck in my head

Nur Ein Wort - Wir sind Helden

5. Weirdest habit/trait

Not sure about this one actually, I think I have a lot of small habits that probably seem weird to other people xD

6. Hobbies

Most importantly gaming with friends, Discord voice chats with my besties are my safe space. Other than that I really like watching TV shows, reading fanfic and travelling.

7. If you work, what's your profession

I work in retail (end me)

8. If you could have any job, what would you wish for?

Ngl my brain struggles with the idea of having to work just to afford to exist for the rest of my life. I lowkey wish I could just find myself a pretty sugar daddy so I can be a stay at home spouse, make art, do what I love.

9. Something you're good at

Procrastinating. Other than that? Not sure I'm really good at anything lol

10. Something you hate

People who put others down to feel better about themselves. You gotta be one miserable piece of shit to be mean to people for no reason.

11. Something you forget

Literally everything. ESPECIALLY if it's important. I hate it but I will forget anything that isn't constantly on my mind already

12. Your love languages

Small gestures to show that one cares like remembering little details about them, small acts of service, paying attention to them, listening and so on. Also physical touch. I love small casual touches to show affection. Probably doesn't help that I'm severely touch starved lmao

13. Fav movies and TV shows

Somehow I always forget every single movie I love when questions like this come up but I love a lot of movie series. Lord of the Rings, Kingsman, Fast and the Furious. For TV shows, The Devil Judge obviously. But shows like Criminal Minds, The Mentalist, Supernatural, stuff that I watched when I was a teenager, will always hold a special place in my heart

14. Fav food

Lasagna and sushi, I could inhale those things every single day

15. Fav animal

Raccoons C:

16. What was I like as a child?

Very shy and reserved

17. Favorite subject in school

English and Art

18. Least favorite subject

Math

19. Best trait

I feel like this is also a curse at times but I would probably say my kindness. I treat everyone I meet with the same respect and kindness as anyone else. No matter what they look like, if they speak a language I understand or not. I've been told by customers that they love how friendly I was to them. But I feel like it also gets me hurt a lot so there's that.

20. Worst trait

My constant need for reassurance. I am fully aware how irrational it can be at times. Logically I know that my closest friends love me but one slight inconvenience or change in tone and I'll feel like they hate me/are avoiding me or whatever and I absolutely HATE that about me and my stupid brain

21. If you could change any detail of your life, what would it be

Gonna steal this one from you @clawbehavior because it's such a simple but life changing thing. Zero foot pain. I used to think that I just needed to get used to standing all day again after spending all of university sitting at desks. But here I am, one year into working in retail and my feet still hurt like hell at the end of each shift

22. If you could travel in time, who would you want to meet?

I'd visit my grandpa before he died and tell him how much I love him. I'm pretty sure he knew that but I hadn't seen him in like a year when he passed away. He was home alone while my grandma was in hospital when it happened and I just hate that.

I really liked this one, I had a lot of fun answering the questions :3 Tagging anyone who wants to play because I'm not sure who has participated yet so feel free to join in if you see this <3

[aylaaescar]

Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am home again Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am whole again

Ayla Aescar ( @shepherds-of-haven ) and my own MC/Brightburner, Tysinno Maratis, as drawn by the wonderful and incredibly talented @serahlink. :') OTP of OTPs at the moment, I could talk about them for days if given half a chance and I'm not afraid to do it

if you're looking for an artist to commission, I can't recommend Link enough! he's amazingly talented and a delight to work with, and the money goes to the worthwhile cause of keeping his family afloat 🖤💕🖤