#( maybe we saved each other || murphy & clarke )

[twirlywhirlywriting]

What Would I Do Without You?

I finally did it!!! This was definitely a challenge for me as a writer. I am mostly used to female submissives so this was a huge change! I hope you all like it, I worked really hard on it! Here you go, my loves, submissive John Murphy!

Title: What Would I Do Without You?

TAGS/WARNINGS: 18+ Minors DNI, Smut, Sub!Murphy x Dom!/Reader, Reader’s POV, Fem Reader, Use of Y/N, Cussing, Soft Dom, Mistress Kink, Obedience, Reassurance, Strip Tease, Kissing, Praise, Fingering, Oral (f receiving), P in V (unprotected), Orgasms, Soft Edging (literally one time), Handjob, Slight Mess, Aftercare, Mentions of Love

The first thing that I need to point out before telling you anything, is that John Murphy is mine. He is the love of my life, he is my best friend, he is my baby. He’s my submissive, my fuck toy, my good boy, just mine. I know that when you look at us, we seem like any other “power couple” who are really just giant assholes who don’t care about anyone else but each other. But really, he’s just trying to give the people what they want, and well, I can’t help myself from being protective of him and his feelings. 

The only reason he is being so forceful in making everyone take off those stupid wristbands is because no one wants the fuckers who put us down here to follow us. We don’t deserve to be prisoners. We are lucky none of us are 18, otherwise we’d all be dead anyways. But they put us on this dropship without our permission. They are the ones who didn’t know if they were killing us or not. And now we have the entire Earth to ourselves. The last thing that any of us want is for those stupid assholes to follow us down and take control again, or worse, call us criminals again. We deserve this whole goddamn Earth to ourselves, we were the ones who were going to die for it if it turned out to be uninhabitable anyway. 

Most people understand this and are happy to take off the damn wristband-tracker-whatever the fuck they are. If everyone on the Ark thinks we died, they won’t follow us and we will finally be free. But Clarke and her stupid boy toy followers are making things way harder than they need to be. They’re being dicks to John, my John. I can’t stand it. 

“Stop it, Murphy! Everyone, you have to stop taking those off, the Ark has to know we’re alive!” Clarke screams at John over the fire. Maybe he is being a little bit intense, not letting anyone get dinner until they allow him to remove the wristband. But it’s for their own good! How can that bitch not see that? 

“No one wants the Ark to know we’re alive, Clarke. We want to be free. We deserve to be free.” He retorts, then turns to everyone, “Do you want to be the Ark's prisoners again? For doing nothing? For saving their asses and getting nothing in return?” He yells, and everyone around boos at Clarke; she and Wells look like they’re about to pop their top. 

She grabs a piece of meat anyways and starts eating, then glares at him. “No rules, right? Screw you, Murphy.” His eyes look like he’s ready to kill her, but I know that look. When he looks murderous, he’s really just sad, or scared, or something. Maybe angry too, maybe a bit murderous, but mostly sad. And that makes me fume. 

I hand my food to John and stand up. Yanking the food back from Clarke, I step right up to her and get in her face. “You know you can’t do that shit. Chaos is good, but you’re just being fucking stupid. He’s helping people, whether you realize it or not. You, Wells, and Finn can all just go on your merry fucking way and find your own food. We’ll get your wristbands later.” She looks like she’s about to throw a punch, but Finn stops her and pulls her away. I’m still fuming, who does she think she is? Finn is right, she is a fucking princess. Wells and Clarke think they get to decide all the rules just because his Daddy and her Mommy are in charge up there. Well, they’re fucking wrong. 

As I sit back down, John gives me back my food. We are both still so pissed off at the whole situation, and not just because of right now. Clarke and those stupid boys are always getting in John’s way. They truly think they can lead us! While I sit here thinking about how fucked up it is, John grabs my hand and brings it up to his lips, planting the softest kiss. I know he’s trying to calm me down, even though he’s just as mad as I am. He’s so fucking sweet. He could be ready to kill someone and when he looks at me or touches me, it is always so soft and loving. He treats me like a queen no matter how he feels. 

I smile at him and when I catch his eyes, I can tell he needs a break. He is trying so hard to keep his cool in front of everyone, but I can tell the frustration of the day and that encounter is getting to him. I quickly shove the last bite of food into my mouth and lead him to our tent with his hand in mine. I’m going to take all of his thoughts and make them melt away, I know just what to do.

The second we get inside, he asks, “Am I doing something wrong?” and I shake my head and smile at him, staring into his gorgeous blue eyes. You may think he likes to take charge with the way he acts around other people, but you’d have it all wrong. He needs the release of not having to make choices. To listen to someone else for a change, have someone else be responsible for him when no one is watching.

“No baby boy, nothing wrong at all. You’re perfect.” I kiss him on the lips, then kiss both of his cheeks, and when I look into his eyes again, I can’t take it. He’s just so hot, standing there and waiting to react to my every move. I kiss him again, harder this time, moving my hands up under his shirt a little to glide my hands along his stomach and chest. He grabs me by my waist and kisses me back deeply, stifling a small moan. I know he wants me. I grin and look up to him, putting my hand on his cheek softly. “What does my good boy want, hm?” 

He bites his lip and looks into my eyes, knowing just the right words to say. “I want to make you feel good, Mistress. I just want to feel you all over me. I want to feel you on my hands, my lips, my tongue, I want to please you with every part of me.” It’s hard for me to keep my composure when he says such yummy words.

“And you can have me. But not yet. Sit on the bed, for now you only get to watch.” He immediately obeys, sitting on the bed with his eyes glued to me. I slowly take off my shirt, much slower than normal, feeling his eyes look over every inch of my stomach, my ribs, my tits, my collarbone and neck, and finally my face again. With my pants, it’s the same thing. I turn around this time though, giving him a full view as I bend over and let him watch every part of my ass and legs become exposed. I peel my underwear off too, giving him just a quick peek of my pussy before standing up and turning around again. 

Instead of letting him touch me like he asked for, I smirk at him, trailing my hands up my stomach and start squeezing my tits, then trailing my fingertips around my nipples until they get hard. I love watching him practically drool, watching his pants get tight, his hands grabbing onto the sheets to stop himself from leaping up and grabbing me.  

I move a hand down my stomach, across my hips, parting my legs just enough to let my hand slip between them. I keep one hand squeezing my tit and sometimes pinching my nipple, letting the other hand glide along my slit, then I start to slowly rub my clit. I lean my head back and moan, wondering just how much this is killing him and enticing him to watch. After maybe a minute or so, I pull my hand back up, stare straight into his eyes, and lick the wetness off of my fingers. His face flushes, and I ask him, “What is it? Do you want a taste too?” 

He stumbles over his words as though he couldn’t get them out fast enough, “Yes, Mistress, please let me taste you.” It makes me feel so warm inside when he says these things. Of course, I’ll give him what he wants. I walk towards him, put a foot up onto the bed to give him a better view, and slide a single finger inside of myself. When I pull it out, it’s glistening. It’s fucking teasing me to do this too, but I love seeing how much he wants me. 

“Open.” I demand as I put my finger up to his lips, and he does so immediately. I slide my finger in his mouth, and he is happy to suck my finger clean. “Good boy, you are so patient. You get to touch me now.” I lay down onto the bed, “Whatever you want to do to start with, baby, you earned it.” 

He climbs on top of me, kissing my neck oh so gently, it almost tickles. He works his way down to my chest, and as he does so, his kisses become more erratic and have more pressure. He gets to my tits, and uses his tongue to circle my nipple, using a hand to follow suit on my other nipple. I close my eyes to fully enjoy the sensations, combing my fingers through his hair as he does this.

After a little bit of this, I feel my wetness and the tingle of desire a bit too intensely. “Okay, I need you on my pussy, right now.” The end of my sentence is almost a growl, I didn’t realize how fucking wet I was until it hit me like a brick wall and I couldn’t wait a single second longer. 

“Yes Mistress, of course.” He scoots back on the bed, wetting two of his fingers using my own juices, sliding one in and pumping a few times before adding the second. He starts kissing my clit, just warming me up as he continues to slowly pump his fingers in and out, just barely curling his fingers up at the last second of every thrust, only a whisper of a touch to my g-spot. Even with how soft he’s being, my breathing quickens. He’s not one to need too much direction on exactly how to please a woman. He doesn’t start off too fast, and he definitely knows where all the good spots are. Whether he’s naturally gifted, or if he’s practiced, I’ve never cared to ask. He’s all fucking mine and that’s the only thing that matters to me. 

“You’re doing so good, baby, you’re such a good boy for me, that’s just right.” I coo at him, making sure every second that he knows just how good he’s making me feel. 

His kisses on my clit slowly turn into kisses with tongue, and that turns into pressing his tongue into me with the tiniest of suction of his lips, letting go with a tiny pop every time. As his kisses change into this, his fingers start working faster, and the second he feels my g-spot swell, he starts fully curving them into that wonderful “come here” motion as he pumps them in and out of me. His tongue gets faster as well, consistent stimulation with suction every few seconds, it’s perfect. I grip the sheets with one hand and his hair in another, unable to control how loud or often I’m moaning. I can barely talk anymore, but I mumble out a “Good boy, just like that!” 

It only takes a couple of minutes before my orgasm comes to the brink, my legs shaking and the world around me practically spinning as I hit my peak. When it calms down, I grip his hair tighter and pull him up to me in a sloppy kiss, both of us breathing heavily. “Am I making you feel good, Mistress? That was good?” He asks me, and my heart melts. He is probably the only guy in the world to make a girl cum that hard and not be full of himself about it. He wants reassurance that he’s doing things just how I like them. Fuck, I love him. He is going to be mine forever, I swear to God. 

“Yes, you are doing so good, baby boy. I’m going to keep you mine forever. Understand?” I look into his eyes so that he knows that isn’t just pillow talk, that he really is mine. Forever. 

He nods with more enthusiasm than I’ve ever seen, and responds with the same seriousness in his voice that I had in mine. “Yes Mistress, I’m all yours, forever. You own me.” 

I give him one more kiss before switching our positions so that I’m on top of him now. “I need you to be inside me now.” I say as I slowly ease myself onto him, groaning as I feel the fullness inside of me. “It’s my turn to watch as you feel good, baby.” I say soothingly, before adding sternly, “now don’t you dare look away. I want to look into your eyes the whole time I’m making you feel good.”

He bites his lip and nods, almost immediately moaning as I start riding him, slowly at first, moving my hips up and down, then back and forth, then a mixture of them all, in a circle. I love watching the sweat slowly build in his hair, watching the muscles on his chest and abs clench as I make him feel so good. I place my hand on his chest to give me better leverage to go faster, faster, and stop right as I see he is starting to get closer to his orgasm. 

Disappointment flickers in his eyes, but only for a moment, he knows I’m never going to fully deny him. He’s too beautiful and perfect to truly be mean. I lean down to give him a kiss, before whispering into his ear. “Now, you’re going to make me cum again. I’m going to stay still, and you are going to fuck me like this, exactly how I tell you to.” 

“Yes Mistress, I want to make you cum on me. Please tell me what you want.” He begs and I groan quietly, he’s too fucking good. 

I straighten back up and tell him to start off slow, which he does. He keeps his hands on my waist to help him gain leverage, and I trail my fingers along his chest and tell him constantly how good he’s doing, how much he’s pleasing me. I tell him to go faster, then to slow down, then to go deeper and harder, then faster, then slow again. He follows along with my words perfectly. I like to work myself up to the edge, not too fast, I want to enjoy every moment of this. But when I notice he is getting a little tired, I tell him to speed up and fuck me as hard as he can. 

My nails dig into his chest as I cum, my head falling back as I moan and my legs squeeze against his sides, making it harder for him to continue fucking me but he pushes through. When I look back down at him I smile at his flushed face, “Stop, baby. You can stop. You are such a perfect fuck toy. Now it’s finally your turn.” 

I start riding him again, keeping up with the quick pace and making sure I’m going all the way down, pushing all of him inside me with every hip thrust. I love watching him pant and whimper as he gets close to the edge. “Mistress, please, I-I-I’m close!” he says with urgency, and I get off of him and immediately jerk him off, keeping the pace as I watch him cum all over himself, biting my lip as I watch.

“Look at what a mess you’ve made, baby.” I tease, making him blush a little bit but he knows I’m not mad. I just love watching him make a mess everywhere, especially on himself. I quickly grab a rag and clean him up, first wiping the sweat off his brow and then cleaning up his chest. 

I lay down next to him, propping myself up on my elbow. I kiss him all over his face, a million times practically, whispering in a soothing voice “You are such a good boy,” and “You did such a wonderful job,” and “It’s all over now baby, I love you so much.” and “I’ll be right here to care for you, always.” in between the kisses being peppered all over his face. He snuggles into me, and I am happy to hold him, regulating my own breathing in order to help him regulate his. 

I stroke his hair, humming softly in a soothing lullaby I forgot the words to a long time ago, every once in a while kissing the top of his head. After a while, he looks up at me and asks, “Did you really mean it, that I’m yours forever? Because.. I want to be. I always want to be yours, Y/N. Always.”

I smile back at him, my heart melting all over again. “Whatever would I do without you, John? I love you.” 

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[bellamyblake]

Bellarke and leadership

something i wanna talk about now that I’m rewatching s1 and perhaps awfully late realizing for the first time is the part about leadership and especially when it comes for Bellamy and Clarke to take up on those roles.

While yes, it’s true that when Clarke comes down, she tries to take charge and make the others listen to her, I don’t believe she’s in an absolute leadership position, not even when they decide to banish Murphy in 1x04. It’s interesting for her because the progression that’s happening there for her is a bit different-she loses her dad, then she’s locked up, then she comes to earth where she does try to take care of the people but in fact just kind of gets caught up in some personal problems. The first of which is the one with her mom, dad and Wells-it takes some time figuring out what happened there. The other one is a newly created problem that is Finn, falling in love with him, then Raven coming down and her having to first swallow down her feelings for him and then save his life and keep doing that for the good of him and Raven as she can see how much they mean to each other.

In other words, I don’t think she fully assumes the role as a leader until 1x07/ or maybe I dare say 1x08 where she 1st-decides to agree on torturing Lincoln for information which is a big step, a leader step where the decisions weigh on you and it’s not just maps and runnign around trying to find Mount Weather or being in the weird dynamic place beteween an old friend who’s in love with you and a new guy who’s interested in you.

She actually takes a step towards real leadership there and later absolutely fills in those shoes when she meets Anya.

But What I want to talk about here is Bellamy. I believe he assumes the real leadership position at first and carries it on a bit longer before Clarke joins him in. That is of course, a product of the circumestances-he has taken charge a long time ago when his mom put his sister in his hands and told him she was his responsibility. She makes him name Octavia and take care of her, promising to keep her quiet and safe. The whole reason why we were lucky enough to have a Blake siblings flashback was, I believe, because of that-showing where it all came for for Bellamy but not just the understandting behind his current actions (aka taking off the wristbands for his love for his sister) but also why he fits in the leadership position from the moment they hit the ground.

He had already been a parent and a leader for the past seventeen years. With a mom who made sure she did just enoug hto survive but offered no love, he had to fill in a gap between Auora and Octavia, while putting himself away from experiencing what a real family was in order to take proper care for his sister and please his mother. 

When he comes to the ground he tries to ensamble his people, then convinces them taking off the wristbands is good for them (even though he is indeed trying to save himself here FOR Octavia, a part I think people forget often), he surrounds himself with people he trusts but also helps built this camp-organizes the delinquents to build a wall (remember 1x04 “If it wasn’t for her, those idiots would still be building a wall” when he talks about Clarke saying the truth about Wells;), He quickly realizes what’s good for the people-the truth and omitting it in the case with Charlotte because it will safe them in this unstable situation; He cares for them which is shown when he goes out to look for Octavia and Roma and Mbege die. (I hate when ppl say he only started caring about the delinquents later-he did, from the beginning), he went hunting with them, made them work on rations, etc. 

He also makes some very big leadership mistakes-the first one being hanging Murphy and the second one-throwing the radio away in the river when Raven lands. Now that second one is a really big and very heavy decision, one that Clarke if you think about it doesn’t get to make until the end of the season where she agrees on Raven using the hydrozyne to kill the grounders. Yes, he does make it so he can save himself but his personal decision weighs on the whole camp because if the rest of the Ark doesn’t come down, how do they survive. The whole conversation with Jaha in 1x08 where he hallucinates him just proves all that. While for Clarke it’s her dad she sees and misses, Bellamy is the one already beating himself up for mistakes akined to someone who’s ruling and leading. (and who feels the same amount of guilt the council on the Ark does, aka the parallels between Kane and Bellamy starting here)

Then there comes Lincoln and I think that’s the moment that kind of glues Bellamy and Clarke as leaders which is concluded in 1x08 when they bring the guns back home and it’s quite clear and established who is in charge of those kids. 

That is where they take their first big decision together (yes, I scartch Murphy because while he was a hard choice, he was one of them, he made mistakes, a kid died because of him and banishing him was the only thing they could figure out at the moment but Lincoln is an outsider, a grounder, the enemy. And this is their first time trying to decide how to deal with that.) You could see how new in it all they were, how uncertain-they argue and they do not want to do any of that. They are both mentally torn-you could tell so by the looks in their eyes but they’re also fighting with the new reality-the one where the world is cruel and those people out there already killed 10 of their friends and what is there to do?

What is the RIGHT thing?

And all of that was solidified in the last conversation they have in 1x07 where Bellamy picks her hand holding the screw he put in Lincoln’s hand and he says “Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things.” I believe this is the first time he’s being honest with her, basically screaming ‘I am not this person, I am not a killer, I’m not a torturer but I have to be this now. For my sister. For us. Do you understand?” but she’s lost herself and doesn’t know what to respond so he adds, shyly, almost as if he didn’t want to give himself away “It’s not easy being in charge, is it?” because he already HAS been in charge but now she truly IS too. Finally, in that moment.

[smiletimeisrunningout]

the 100 wishlist:

-Marcus Kane: she thought the council rediscussed her pregnancy and still kept her in her cell even if it sorta proved her self-defense claim (you can't kill anyway but I assume there is a bit more leniency if you weren't trying to, you were protecting yourself, and you are pregnancy. At least enough not to be in solitary anymore, but as far as Emma is concerned she should have been freed) but he actually knew nothing of this because they were too busy with the Ark dying so there is a weird relationship right there, between the angry pregnant girl who is kinda giving him a pass while hating on all other people with power, and the guy who is trying to do better now on the ground and who later on is visibly !!! about Diyoza being pregnant ??

-a Bellamy to freak out with questions about his mom and then to freak out even more when he realizes why he's being asked these questions, he was working so hard to 'be better' and protect people and lead, what is he supposed to do with this time-ticking bomb

-all the interactions with Murphy to see what happens in an universe where someone is weirdly caring from beginning to end ?? John Murphy having a tiny blonde girl who finds a little too easy to kill who has his back (possible 'trapped in the bunker together' situation there with the added terror of her pregnancy advancing though) (also he can cook, it's canon, which means he'll have Emma's undying love for that alone)

-interactions with Emori who is now around a girl who would never shun her son even if he was born a mutant and does everything for his sake but doesn't judge Emori herself for her crime-lifestyle, and later on Emma actually tries to volunteer to save her from being experimented on, because she's sure she'll be left to die in Praimfaya anyway and is giving her son one more chance it if the nightblood experiment works and saving someone in the process

-Raven having someone who picks her first even if it's platonically ?? Raven getting this big sister bond and helping Emma out too, she hates asking for help but it's a bit different when it's very mutual

-if it's possible for a Jasper not to completely fall apart after Mount Weather because Emma is not staying too close to a constantly drunk depressed guy while 8-9 months pregnant, maybe not losing it completely because he gets to protect/help someone else (Emma), that same Jasper who started to feel a bit of a spark of life again when he bonded for five minutes with a girl in Luna's place, maybe gets to feel better when helping Emma with baby Henry and going with them all to space later on ?

-Spacekru being a weird family unit to baby Henry though, all the aunts and uncles he needs // if Henry is the bunker and Emma is in space they'd have to keep Emma from dying of heartbreak though

-Clarke finding someone who agrees with literally all of her choices except for the one of forgiving and sorta dating Lexa (never forgive! Never forget!) and regardless of which faction Emma belongs to Emma actually agreeing that Madi should have been left flameless, are you kidding.

-I actually want to write with an Abby and fix the relationship because I like Abby, but I think it would be terrible for the other rper if we don't know each other well because Emma would be an ass.hole for a while and refuse to be reasonable about not hating the adults

-all the other 100s

-the weirdness of 'oh no, it's not that I don't trust Lincoln because he's a grounder, I don't trust him because he's a man' and 'I can understand how a traumatized kid started shooting up a village of Grounders after being terrorized by Grounders all along, I will not excuse cheating' 'I may follow Jaha because Pike is going to kill us all but my god will I feed him to the water monsters if I get the chance'

[kirschengift]

okay, just saying, you asked for this

it's honestly just the entirety of the Lxa storyline. in s2 she's a formidable character in the making. starts out as an antagonist, turns into an ally after some truly fucked up shit that changes the main character forever (Clarke killing Finn as an act of mercy, but killing him nonetheless, Lxa telling Clarke that love is weakness while she is extremely vulnerable because of her grief (the grief she's only dealing with because while Lxa did not make her kill Finn, she backed Clarke into a corner until Clarke was convinced that killing Finn was a mercy), & Lxa convincing Clarke that they should save themselves and let everyone else die in Tondisi). that was an incredible arc for Clarke to live through and it wouldn't have been possible without Lxa. in s1 she was surrounded by people to carry her decisions with her (whether that's Finn, Bellamy, Jasper, Raven…) but in s2 she's still surrounded by those people but gets isolated. her decisions are hers alone (or shared with Lxa) and it fucks her up so bad and it's fucking amazing!

basically all of Clarke's key relationships suffer during s2:

Raven & Clarke are working on it and we can argue for a long time about Raven's "it's always Clarke's fault" attitude in later seasons but you can easily pinpoint Finn's death as the event that fractured their relationship to the point where to Raven it's just easy to blame Clarke. Raven was also present when Clarke lied to Bellamy about Octavia being in Tondisi and would know that Clarke chose not to evacuate Tondisi.

I don't think Finn & Clarke would've made their back to each other romantically but I do think that in a perfect world where they didn't want to write him off and he got some therapy and maybe went soulsearching with Jaha & Murphy or something, he could've come back around to being a part of the group. I know he's pretty much hated by the fandom but given how many characters have been redeemed on this show, they could've done it. In any case, Clarke tried to save him, failed, and now she has to live with the "what if".

Abby & Clarke is a relationship that's been rocky since s1 because Abby got Jake killed but this time around… "Please tell me this wasn't you" hits so hard. Clarke basically just lost her mom. Again. They come back around by the end of the season but it sucks anyway.

Octavia & Clarke is… oh dear. Clarke didn't tell her about the missile, so that's a negative, especially because Octavia could've easily died. surviving the missile hit, she was "just" traumatised. on the other hand, she saved Octavia from being assassinated by Lxa which she never told O about, so… it's complicated. also Clarke kinda sent O's brother to go die. speaking of

Bellamy & Clarke. "you said it wasn't worth it." "i was being weak. (go die)" that's it. i love telling my friends to go die. strengthens our friendship. amazingly, Bellamy chose forgiveness & understanding but by that time, Clarke just lived through her part of s2 and went into self-destruct mode the woods, leaving her friends to deal with their trauma on their own and making it impossible for forgiveness & understanding to actually take root.

so basically, Clarke ends s1 as a part of a strong team. she might be in charge but she's sharing responsibilities, they're getting better at working as a team and everyone is a valuable member of said team, a piece of the puzzle. s2 slowly shifts that. Clarke alone has to carry the plot of building that alliance - an alliance that won't matter in the end, but the damage to Clarke's person has been done by all of those little things OP has listed and of course the big sacrifices of Finn & Tondisi and it breaks my heart because Clarke wanted to be a doctor & her first love was "The Pacifist" and when everyone in camp wanted to give up on Jasper, she refused to, and when her first love ended up having a girlfriend, she met that girl with grace and friendship, and I really love baby!Clarke, okay? and I love her evolution into the girl who brought guns to a peace talk and who decided that her home & her family were worth defending after all else had failed, and that she abandoned her friends in Mount Weather with the intent to come back to save them, even if she didn't know how she'd go about it… by the end of s2, she's gazed into the abyss and the abyss has gazed back and she's just killed over 300 people (again) and she's weeping in her mother's arms who consoles her because "sometimes there are no good guys" and i fucking love Clarke Griffin at the end of s2.

and after a lot of talking about s2 in a rant about s3…

s3 ruined all of that.

again, in terms of storytelling, Lxa was an amazing influence. in-universe however… she literally made a face-heel-turn at the end of s2 which was a perfect set-up to make her a big antagonist who of course could still be redeemed but had so much potential to be a formidable opponent for Clarke in particular.

for the Arkers, you get the question of how do you move forward in dealing with these people after their leader has betrayed you like that?

for Clarke, it's all the more complicated. not only has she sold her soul for that alliance, but she obviously felt at the very least attracted to Lxa who to her felt like a kindred spirit. we already know that Lxa's a little bit more complicated than "love is weakness" and "i'm the chosen one" because she does care for Clarke and has to walk a line there because she can't be the mythical chosen leader of her people if she puts anyone above them. so she's 100% redeemable

just not for Clarke. it's the whole "abusive people can better themselves and build healthy relationships moving forward but their previous victims don't have to forgive them" thing. not to say that Lxa was abusive to Clarke in s2. they had a very, very questionable, potentially toxic relationship and although given the setting we can excuse a lot, i still believe that Clarke should've never forgiven Lxa (or at least not within a handful of episodes, three seasons minimum, think Spuffy). be civil with her? sure, they're leaders of two factions who have to either annihilate each other or work together but ultimately all the sacrifices Clarke made to gain Lxa's support were thrown away the second a "better" opportunity showed itself.

was there a point to Finn's death if the alliance fell through? was there a point to letting all these people die? those were jaw-drapping moments meant to raise the stakes and emotionally, it did, practically… not so much because in the end it was just our favourite delinquents who took down the Mountain and all but two (Clarke & O) were already INSIDE the Mountain by the time Lxa turned her back on them. sure, the people inside the Mountain felt the tension as well but that was also in huge part to Bellamy & the 47 fucking shit up for Cage. the grounders weren't needed. they never were. the kids we met in s1, stumbling around a meadow and getting high on jobi nuts, were enough to take down a military complex.

Clarke's entire arc in S2 was about forging that alliance and in the end, it didn't matter.

that's such a good set-up for a season where one of the three big plot points is "distrust of grounders due to previous trauma" which eventually gets used by the second big plot line, "an ai wants to relieve people of their trauma and makes them live in a perfect world without negative emotions". (the third one being "grounder shenanigans")

BUT THERE'S NO PAY-OFF. they talk about it but are there consequences besides mistrust? what happened to "she dishonoured us all", Indra? the Ice Queen was pissed with Lxa not because she has no honour and goes back on a promise her people have already bled for (Tondisi + arguably the five decades of blood sacrifices Azgeda and Trikru had already made to the Mountain) but because Lxa wants to have a peaceful relationship with Skaikru?? ma'm, I don't think Skaikru wants a peaceful relationship with anyone right now, much less you in particular, just let them lick their wounds for a second. sure, the Mountain might make Lxa look weak but no one is bothered with what it says about her. what if one clan is attacked by another and Lxa promises to solve the issue? is she going to go back on that promise, too? why does that Coalition even exist unless it's more like the British Empire and less like the USA.

does Clarke get to deal with all that trauma OP listed? does she get to heal and seek forgiveness from her friends? does she get to be angry? she gets to spit in Lxa's face and threaten her with a knife but afterwards? no, Clarke has to working for Lxa's cause because she's key to the survival of her people. what Clarke went through doesn't matter. she doesn't get to hold her grudge like she did with Wells. even if on paper she doesn't forgive her, the narrative forgives Lxa the second that hood is lifted off Clarke's head. just imagine s3 with similar scenes but this time around you can feel Clarke's trauma every time she looks at Lxa. she can still be attracted to her (we can hate hot people) and maybe even give in to that attraction but for the love of god, don't make it lovey-dovey. have them skin each other alive or whatever. if you want to make it toxic, make it toxic. if you want to make it lovey-dovey, don't make her kill her first love and spit on his grave afterwards.

s2 showed us all the reasons why Pike could be chancellor in s3. even after everything Clarke & the Arkers have been through (I'm still crying about the end of Resurrection when Sinclair & others show up at Tondisi, probably having walked all night, all because if they CAN help, then they MUST help, these people are shitty but they're also so good and kind), they can't count on the grounders to not stab them in the back. they'll do whatever their leader tells them to do and their leader has proven to be untrustworthy.

show Arkadia getting progressively worse and let the viewer believe that this is the right thing to do because while we all know fascism is bad, it can look very appealing. they don't start by talking about camps but they talk about safety and unity and culture, all things that would be very appealing to Skaikru.

Kane & Abby are reluctant but they kind of agree? there are a few Trikru villages they're trading with but otherwise you really can't trust grounders, you know?

and then a scene of Monty and his mom. she talks about her first days on the ground and how his father was slaughtered when he tried to save the children and he tells her about how Jasper was speared in the chest and then, he almost sobs, he says, "he hates me" and they hug and she tells him that Jasper doesn't hate him, he's just angry and sad and maybe the camera slowly pulls away when Mama Green asks about Mount Weather and the next scene we see her in (with Pike or whatever, back to the plot), it's obvious she just cried.

we get to see the delinquents like Miller and Harper (Team Kane in canon) talk about something that bothers them about the Guard, maybe Miller questions whether it's the right job for him because while there're still guards on the walls, they're also stationed inside the Ark and all in all it's just feeling a lot like the Ark again.

when Jasper is attacked by Ice Nation in 3x01 (?), it's as huge a deal as the beacon because once again an Arker was attacked by a grounder, Ice Nation or not. and how come Lxa didn't know that up north they're hunting Farm Station for fun? or did she know but didn't tell? we'll never know, neither will Skaikru. they're paranoid, some of them for good reason. the delinquents still remember the days when the trees had eyes and swords.

when Lxa fights Roan, Pike needs to take a seat because wtf, people, that's your pope?? fighting a prince?? with swords???? wtf is wrong with you guys????

show Arkadia to be at it's worst. they're demoralised, whatever moral they can find is borderline fascism. have Pike call Lincoln "one of the good ones" and keep him close to learn more about grounders and their tactics.

a bunch of these things were done by the show but ultimately, the entire plot line fell completely flat because while Arkadia is heading towards a military dictatorship, Clarke is completely disconnected in Polis (and while she was somewhat disconnected in s2, this time it hits different. she barely gets to interact with anyone other than Lxa and maybe Roan & Titus). and it fucking sucks. the person who should have the biggest grudge with the grounders because she sacrificed everything only to have it all be meaningless, Clarke Griffin who refused to forgive her best friend for a year, who never even considered that her father could've confided in somebody else, that girl is angry with the person that betrayed her for about one episode and then everything is more or less just fine. she's a little snotty, tells the audience that she's doing this for her people and she really doesn't want to stick around, pinky-promise, but Lxa's too important to let her die… and then we get the romantic framing. we get that night scene with the beautiful blue nightgown. cozy time with Lxa napping and Clarke sketching. it looks like Clarke has a pretty nice life. is she a hostage? probably. does she make heart eyes at her captor? yup. the viewer is supposed to root for them.

for all I know, the girl that finished s2 was replaced by an android while she was hiding out in the woods. the real Clarke Griffin is dead in a ditch.

i hate all of it. i know, a lot of it was influenced by fandom reaction, but giving Lxa all of those great shots ruin the entire storyline in Arkadia. why does he hate the Commander? hasn't he seen her pretty big eyes and how lovingly she gazes at Clarke? and Clarke has forgiven her, why shouldn't we? really, Pike's just a racist and a fascist and should just die already we see Lxa being cool and strong and sometimes even tender while Pike is frothing at the mouth and killing the one good person in the entire northern hemisphere. leave in Lxa kicking that guy from the balcony, make her a lot more vicious during her fight with Roan (who was previously stabbed by Clarke, so he's easy pickings - or don't, show Lxa making Roan look strong, so when she crowns him, his people will think him strong! makes her look intelligent and in control), maybe introduce Aden as her favourite because she personally gives him brutal sword play lessons, telling him to get knocked down and get back up again. and then, as a treat to me, have him ask her why the fuck she abandoned Skaikru at MW when MW has been their mortal enemy for decades and giving them the opportunity to walk the ground would be kind of batshit insane…

(she can still be a marshmallow deep down, we've already seen glimpses of that in s2, but now that's all we get to see and after that set-up in s2 it's so boring and bland. s2!Lxa would hate s3!Lxa.)

SHOW US WHAT PIKE FEARS. remember a thousand warriors standing at the gates of Camp Jaha for one person? that's fucking terrifying. i, too, would piss myself if the person who just abandoned us at MW would send a "peacekeeping" army right to our doorstop. no thank you, ma'm, i'm fine.

you can easily argue that Pike's storyline is key to the entire season as it's a) the clear follow-up to s2, b) actually features the most characters already known to the viewer, c) hides the big, lore-related storyline, ALIE, in plain view, and d) enhances that storyline, while e) influencing the "grounder shenanigans" storyline (which arguably starts the plot of s3 but would just vanish into nothing without Pike being Pike and serving as a villain in both storylines)

meanwhile, every time that plot gets going, we're interrupted by another extended scene of whatever is happening in Polis. we waste so much time on a handful of characters and while I will take Roan to the grave with me, I just don't care. this show already has so many amazing characters to love and care about and a storyline about how attractive fascism can be would've been incredibly on point in 2016 (at any point in time really) and again, it would have been so easy to write about given what we had by the end of s2. the Ark was already used to a lot of things that can be components of a fascist society which we saw in s2 with the Exodus charter (and all of s1) and all that trauma that was handed out in s2 which Clarke Griffin is such a poster child for, those basically paved the way for that

only for them to fumble it. for a love story which pretends to be enemies to lovers but is honestly just "you were a big old meanie, so I'm upsetti spaghetti, just kidding, pls don't kill my people, babe".

wtf

Accidentally tripped my way back into my t100 obsession, and am once again begging everyone to remember that Clarke didn’t just mean irradiating Mount Weather when she said “what I did to get them here”. Of course she means that part, but she also means killing Finn, letting the bomb drop on TonDC without warning anyone besides Lexa, even leaving the 47 behind when she was forced to escape in order to get the rest of the Delinquents a real rescue, lying to Bellamy about Octavia being in TonDC, telling Bellamy to. his. face. that it’s worth risking his life to take down the Mountain with the Grounders, and any number of other specific wrongs Clarke would 100% feel she had done. Bellamy’s “what we did” is unbearably kind, and does not even pale as an example of their partnership and love for each other, but he is only thinking of one part of Clarke’s enormous guilt to bear. As is his right. He did just help her commit genocide, he’s not going to be on top of his game (understanding Clarke), nor is he going to necessarily see many of these burdens the same way Clarke, in her special brand of self-deprecation, would.

It does feel as though we as a fandom focus on the same thing as Bellamy. Fair. Genocide of the entire Mountain is certainly going to be more devastating in the way of guilt than lying to Bellamy about Octavia’s safety, or even killing the boy she loves/loved. But Clarke spends much of season 2 either battling for a voice at Camp Jaha, forcing Lexa to take the alliance seriously, or trying to find any way to reach the 47 and get them all out safely, and she has Bellamy and any number of allies and friends alongside her for much of the journey, but the choices she makes for the 47 are largely still hers alone, especially once Bellamy goes into the Mountain. She has many reasons to feel guilty, and not all of them are choices she and Bellamy made together, so his support, while meaningful, doesn’t actually encompass all that is haunting Clarke.

[toomanyfandomssss]

His Girl - Four

In a sort of protective manner, Violet opted to walk with Clarke and Wells in case Bellamy and Murphy decided to pull anything. And of course, her intuition was correct.

"Hey, hold up." Bellamy pushed through some trees as he and Murphy caught up with Violet, Clarke, and Wells. Waving his gun in the air he continued,"Whats the Rush? You don't survive a spear through the heart" he smirked arrogantly. A tone Violet thinks she'll have to get used too from now on.

Murphy pushed Wells forward, "Why don't you do something about it, huh?"

Clarke interrupted, "Jasper screamed when they moved him.  If the spear struck his heart, he'd have died instantly, doesn't mean we have time to waste."

Bellamy grabbed Clarke's wrist and help up her arm, "As soon as you take this wristband off, we can go."

"The only way the Ark is gonna think I'm dead, is if I'm dead. Got it?" Clarke challenged, snatching her wrist back.

Bellamy smirked, "Brave princess."

Suddenly, a voice came from behind the group. "Hey, why don't you find your own nickname?" Fin called out. "You call this a rescue party? You've gotta split up. Cover more ground. Clarke. Come with me."

✶✶✶

Violet and Wells walked together a little ahead of Bellamy and Murphy. The doe eyed brunette had little interest in being around her boyfriend at the moment. As they continued on their way Violet kept catching Well's glances at the spacewalker and princess.

"Are you okay?" she looks at him concerned.

"Yeah," he forcibly smiled at her. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Violet just looked at him, then reached over and squeezed his arm in a comforting manner.

Wells was able to give her a more genuine smile after this act of kindness. Why is a girl like this dating a guy like Bellamy Blake?

Not wanting to see his girlfriend near another guy for any longer, the man himself interupted the moment between the two. "Guess we got more in common than meets the eye, huh?" Bellamy glanced at Clarke and Finn as he spoke. Violet rolled her eyes.

"We have nothing in common." Wells denied.

"No? Both came down here to protect someone we love," Bellamy wrapped his arm around Violet.

Wells stayed quiet, so Bellamy continued. "Your secrets safe with me. 'Course, for you its worse. With Finn around, Clarke doesn't even see you." "It's like you're not even here." he finished, grabbing Violet's hand and pulling her forward to walk with him.

✶✶✶

After Clarke and Finn's discovery of Jasper's goggles near a bloodied rock, they had met up with the other half the group to follow the trail.

Murphy broke the silence, "Hey, how do we know this is the right way?"

"We don't. Spacewalker thinks he's a tracker," Bellamy mocked.

"It's called "Cutting Sign." Fourth-year Earth skills. He's good." Wells defended the long haired boy.

Annoyed, Finn interjected "You want to keep it down or should I paint a target on your backs?" He stopped at a plant as he noticed some blood dripping down. He sunk to the ground to see a rock that had drops of blood on it, coming from the plant above. He and Clarke shared a look.

Bellamy chose this moment to taunt Wells even more, "See? You're invisible."

"Give it a rest Bellamy!" Violet harshly whispered to him, completely over his constant teasing of the chancellor's son. She separated herself from him as much as she could.

He was shocked at the small outburst, getting mildly angry that his girl was defending someone else. His girl.

A loud moan broke out and everyone looked up . "What the hell was that?" Murphy spoke all of their thoughts in the moment.

"Now would be a good time to take out that gun." Clarke suggested.

Everyone moved forward towards the direction of the groaning. They all stopped once they came to the source of it. There was Jasper, strapped to a tree. "Jasper!" Clarke gasped.

Violet was the second one to move forward, after Clarke. "Jasper!" Clarke called out again. "What the hell is this?" Bellamy said before there was a loud snap.

Clarke has stepped onto a trap and was falling when a hand caught onto hers.

She looked up to see that Violet had caught her before she could fall. The brunette immediately tried to pull her up but was having a difficult time by herself.

"A little help?" she called out to the boys behind her.

Bellamy came rushing over and grabbed Violet at the waist as the rest of the boys helped her pull Clarke up. The blonde was breathing very hard after her near death experience. She looked at Violet, "Thank you," she nodded gratefully.

"Anytime," Violet said, letting out a small laugh.

Clarke looked back up at Jasper. "We need to get him down."

"I'll climb up there and cut the vines." "Yeah, yeah I'm with you." Wells offered to Finn.

"No. Stay with the girls. And watch him." Finn orderd. He then gestured to Murphy, "You, lets go."

Clarke noticed something on Jasper, "There's a poultice on his wound."

Wells questioned, "Medicine? Why would they save his life just to string him up as live bait?"

"Maybe what they're trying to catch like's its dinner to be breathing," Bellamy suggested, making Violet grimace.

"Maybe what they're trying to catch is us." Finn said from his spot by Murphy and Jasper, making everyone worry.

As the two boys worked to get Jasper down, there was a strange noise that came from behind them. "What the hell was that?" Murphy asked no one in particular.

Bellamy quickly grabbed Violet and pulled her close to him. "Grounders?"

Clarke noticed a panther beginning to charge at the four, "Bellamy! Gun!" However when he felt for it, he couldn't find it.

The, gunshot came from over where Wells was. He was aiming it at the oncoming animal, hitting it once but it wasn't enough. He kept shooting randomly as the animal made it's way into the grass in front of Bellamy and Violet.

Bellamy was quick to push Violet behind him, shielding her. He would move her and himself the opposite way of where he could hear the dangerous animal.

All of a sudden it went quiet. Hearts racing, the couple held onto each other.

The panther had made it's way behind Violet when it finally jumped out. Bellamy shoved her to the ground and covered her, waiting for the impact of the panther.

When he had heard another gun shot and felt no impact, he looked up. Wells finally was able to shoot and kill the panther. He slowly got off Violet and helped her up, holding her close to his chest. He looked at Wells, "Now she sees you."

✶✶✶

After an eventful day, the small group made it back home to their camp. Bellamy and Murphy who had been carrying the now dead panther, dropped it as Bellamy shouted "Who's hungry!"

Bellamy and Violet embraced Octavia as the 100 celebrated finally having food to eat.

The price of that food though, ended up being wristbands. Violet shook her head as she watched the boy she loved and his hench men taking off wristbands. When Clarke and Finn had come out to see what was going on, they detested it as much as she did. Finn had went up to grab two meat sticks for him and Clarke, knowing Bellamy wouldn't let his girlfriend go hungry. When he went up he was greeted by Murphy who had taunted him about not following "rules".

"I though there were no rules," Finn said before turning around and walking back to the two girls.

One kids who has seen the spacewalkers act of defiance had decided to follow, grabbing his own stick. Unfortunate before he was able to get away, Bellamy punched the poor kids in the face hard enough for him to fall to the ground as the brooding leader glared at Finn.

Violent instantly went to help the boy up, much to Bellamy's dismay. After glaring heatedly at her power-hungry boyfriend, Violet walked the boy to his tent.

Instead of dealing with anymore bullshit today, she opted to go to her and Bellamy's tent to sleep off every stressful event that has happened on the ground so far.

✶✶✶

Feeling herself being lightly shaken, Violent opened her eyes only to see Bellamy sitting next to her, one hand on her shoulder and one hand cradling her face.

He takes the hand from her face and reaches next to him to grab the panther meat he had saved for her after she had walked off. "You need to eat angel," he softly demanded.

"You need to stop being an ass." Violet retorted, accepting the food.

"I have to be strict or else the kids won't follow orders," Bellamy defended.

Violet tiredly shook her head, "There's a difference between being a leader, and being a power-hungry dictator Bell."

The boy sighed, equally as exhausted "Can we please not fight, I just need you to eat angel."

Nodding, Violet silently finished up her meal before laying in her boyfriends awaiting arms. She put her head on his chest listening to the sound oh his heartbeat, lulling herself into a deep sleep.

[doortotomorrow]

Mirrors and Cautionary Tales : John Murphy’s Journey to Redemption

When it comes to John Murphy, plenty of people have wondered why he spent a significant portion of his screen time interacting with the seasonal villains, and I think I’ve come up with a reason why this feels like such a steady trend in his overall story arc. It all comes down to how these villains represented Murphy’s internal struggles with himself as he grew and matured into the man we now know him as today. 

Let’s take this back to the very first season of The 100 where we first encounter Murphy as he touches down onto Earth and the kind of person he was back then. As beloved a character as he is now, I can’t mince words or sugarcoat things. He was the villain for the delinquents in the first season. So, what kind of villain was he?

He wanted power and authority by any means necessary - ( “Well, I think the princess is dead... but I know the king's about to die, so who's really gonna lead these people, huh? Me, that's who, and, yeah, maybe I'll have to kill your grounder-pounding little sister.” - We are Grounders I )

He was downright wrathful - ( his willingness to kill Jasper, holding someone over a fire, ganging up on Wells to remove his bracelet, almost killing Raven )

He was selfish and all about his own self preservation- ( making everyone else do the work around the delinquent camp while Bellamy is gone, wasting resources to blow a hole in the drop ship to make his getaway )

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With those things out of the way, let’s jot down all the villains Murphy interacted with.

Charles Pike

Ontari kom Azgeda

Paxton McCreary

Josephine Lightbourne 

Sheidheda

We’ll start with John Murphy’s origin point and his experience under his abusive Earth skills teacher, Charles Pike. While Murphy was largely absent from witnessing much of what Pike did to become Chancellor of Arkadia, he did see the end result of how that worked out for him. Desperate, in a jail cell, and then later on, stabbed to death in an act of revenge for the horrific things he did while in a position of power he practically stole. 

On the Grounder side, he had the unfortunate luck of being trapped in Polis with Ontari kom Azgeda. Initially, he went along with the whole false Commander thing, masquerading as her Fleimkepa and even gave her advice on how to maintain her power...but then he started becoming unnerved by her violent paranoia, ultimately getting traumatized by her when she viciously abused him.

Murphy’s front row seat to watching two people’s quests for power and authority left him with this valuable lesson : being power hungry will turn you in a paranoid, unhinged person with a list of enemies a mile long. You will never, ever have a moment’s peace. You will always be looking over your shoulder wondering if this is the day you get a knife in the back.

After the third season, Murphy’s desire for power and authority completely disappears. It’s not something he’s interested in anymore because he’s been shown that it’s simply not worth it. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Enter season five and its main villain : Paxton McCreary. What does McCreary like to do for fun? Start riots, blow things up, fire off big guns, and getting high off of combat. Oh, and he’s always, always emotionally detached and angry. His default setting is rage. It’s sounding kind of familiar, isn’t it? 

The fifth season is where Murphy’s at his most chaotic and destructive(both internally and externally). He’s blowing things up, playing with huge guns, causing riots, jumping into any battle he can for the adrenaline rush, pushing everyone away, breaking up with Emori until finally, it all comes crashing down on him. All of this chaotic behavior leads to him getting shot in the Rover, nearly losing his life in the process.

On the other side of the war, McCreary’s wrath caused untold levels of destruction. It was McCreary’s need for destruction that lead to Earth being completely fried, it was McCreary’s wrath that resulted in the loss of Monty and Harper, taking away two members of Murphy’s family from him. 

All of this unquantifiable destruction and death was a giant wake up call for Murphy. McCreary leaves him with this lesson: if you let rage and chaos possess you, you will end up losing everything. 

That’s why, when the sixth season rolls around, Murphy’s lust for battle was greatly diminished. 

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Speaking of the sixth season, it’s time to revisit Sanctum and get ourselves reacquainted with Josephine Lightbourne. 

When Murphy arrived in Sanctum, his heart was heavy, clearly in a state of mourning over those he lost when he woke up and realized Monty and Harper were gone. Not only that, but yet again, he had suffered another traumatic near death experience during Sanctum’s Red Sun event. His first day out of his long hibernation was hardly fun at all, experiencing nightmares about going to hell when he fell into a coma and waking up screaming over what he saw.

So, in a moment of vulnerability and wanting to avoid going to hell, Murphy became more and more tempted with the concept of the Prime’s method of immortality. The ultimate survivor’s move : not dying at all. It’s at this point where he met Josie and saw first hand what living forever does to a person. At first, he made a deal with her to get his hands on some empty mind drives(getting Emori in on the deal as well), but the longer he lingered in her company, the more immortality started losing its luster. When it was revealed Clarke was still alive, Murphy joined the others in helping to get Josie out of her head.

Immortality had turned Josie into a sociopathic monster, utterly incapable of respecting other people’s feelings and wishes, only focusing on her own wants and needs for the sake of preserving herself. This wasn’t who Murphy wanted/needed to be anymore, having fallen in love with Emori, and creating a family alongside her which Murphy valued too much to lose. After all, what was the point of living forever if he lost his family?

That’s why, when the mind drives come up again in the seventh season, they’re now a symbol of finite time in Murphy’s story. Just a few more hours with the woman he loved as humanity itself faced its final hours.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With all of these cautionary tales Murphy’s seen play out throughout the seasons, avoiding all of those pitfalls the previous villains fell in, we’re introduced to his perfect foil : Sheidheda, the dark commander. 

Sheidheda was everything Murphy could have become if he never went on his journey of redemption, falling in love, and finding a family to fight for. Sheidheda craved power and desired nothing more than to see everyone kneeling at his feet. Through the Flame, he had lived forever, waiting for his moment of opportunity to arrive where he could rise again. If something got in his way, he’d burn it all down, creating chaos and bloodshed in his wake. He’s all of the previous villains combined into one package.

We were in desperate need of a hero...and we got one.

When Murphy and Sheidheda had their first confrontation, Murphy was deep into hero mode. He helped Emori calm down a rioting crowd, saved Sanctum from a nuclear meltdown, and rescued a group of frightened children. He kept on saying he was tired of playing the hero, but let’s be honest here, he wore the title well. Sheidheda was flawlessly utilized to showcase how far Murphy had come as a character, becoming a man we know his father would be proud of. 

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There you have it! My long, long winded way of breaking down why Murphy spent so much time interacting with the villains. It was their way of marking down each stage of Murphy’s overall arc. It was very much intentional. 

[100hearteyes]

any more thoughts on 'clarke and lexa make a porno'?

🤔😏

Part 1 Part 2

“Last but not least, worry no more, citizens of Capitola: after a grueling week of searching, our very own superhero Jasper Jordan has finally found his cape. He was wearing it all along.”

“It’s so good to know that he will be able to go on keeping Capitola safe.”

“Yes, what would we do without Jasper Jordan here to protect us? And from now on, you’ll be in Lexa Woods’s hands. Also, such good hands those are. She’s got very long fingers.”

“Oh. Well, I never actually noticed, but I guess they are. Thanks, Clarke. And now, perk your ears for the new hit single from our very own global country star, Harper McIntyre. It’s called Call Me Harp-by. She’s a creative genius!”

-

Lexa’s first instinct when she hears the studio door open is to hide. She checks her options: Monty is holed up under his desk playing on his GameBoy Color, Octavia has barricaded herself in a corner with actual hand-carved sticks and is roaring at Bellamy in a strange language, and Murphy is probably peeing into a bin behind the pillar on the far side of the room.

She’s too slow to think of a solution in the end and she can’t do anything but flush when Clarke strolls in and heads over to her, smirk plastered on her face. Lexa only has time to save her miniature Baby Yoda from Clarke’s weapon of ass destruction before her coworker sits on the edge of her desk.

“Hey, Lexa.”

Lexa forces a polite smile, trying to focus on her outline for the day rather than the butt cheeks planted on her desk, the body attached to them, or the face looking down at her with a sly grin. “Hello, Clarke.”

“What do you think of Harper McIntyre’s new song?”

The topic confuses her, but she trudges on with a brave face. After all, she’s got opinions on Capitola’s Taylor Swift rip-off and if Anya is going to make it a point of leaving the room every time Lexa so much as mentions them, then she’s going to take this opportunity with both hands and pull out all the receipts. “Uninspired. Derivative. Oddly reminiscent of Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen.”

“Yeah...” Clarke nods pensively, letting the subsequent silence drag on for a few more seconds. “I like your fingers.”

Lexa starts at the sudden topic change and struggles to keep her blush under control under the brazen intensity of Clarke’s stare. “Yes, I- I noticed. You mentioned. On the radio, for all of Capitola to hear. Thank you, I guess?”

Clarke hums, before clicking her tongue and hopping off of Lexa’s desk. She roundabouts it until she’s right next to Lexa, thigh brushing Lexa’s arm.

Lexa tries and fails to swallow down the knot in her throat as Clarke sits on her desk again, this time on her side, crossing her legs so her feet touch Lexa’s leg.

“So a little bird told me we’re starring in a porno together.”

Lexa almost yelps, scrambling out of her chair to fasten both hands over Clarke’s mouth. “The whole world doesn’t need to know, Clarke!”

Clarke rolls her eyes, but Lexa can feel her smile under her hands. Their eyes lock, a tacit understanding passing between them. Clarke's eyes are a vivid blue, like a cloudless sky or the color of Lexa's highlighters before Anya dunked them all in a bag of manure, and it's hard not to drown in the depths of them.

"Glad to see you two getting intimate already."

They spring apart as though they were burned. Lexa sits back down on her chair, while Clarke takes a seat at her desk, which to Lexa's chagrin is right next to her own. Anya chuckles as she sinks into her own chair, propping her feet on Lexa's desk, crossed at the ankles.

"Anyway," she slams a hand over a stack of papers, making Clarke and Lexa jump in their seats, "can you guess what this is?"

Clarke and Lexa look at each other with raised eyebrows, then at Anya. Lexa shrugs.

"This is your fucking Bible," Anya says, not waiting for them to guess. "Your Dianetics.Your Loose Canon. Your gospel." At her companions' still expectant stares, Anya heaves a dramatic sigh, throwing her arms up. "It's the goddamn screenplay."

Oh.

Oh.

It's like the snap of an elastic band. Lexa and Clarke shoot out of their chairs to snatch the script from Anya's desk. Lexa gets there first (going to the gym does pay off after all), dribbling around Clarke, and lets out a triumphant cry before sinking back into her chair, thumbing through the pages of the heavy tome.

She stops on a random page and feels Clarke press closer to read over her shoulder.

-

INT. BLONDIE'S KITCHEN - TWILIGHT

Enter Lulu. Plumber by day, detective by night. She stops by the island and twirls a lead pipe in her right hand before sheathing it like a cowboy's pistol.

LULU

It seems it's time to read your...

Lulu puts on her shades. ZOOM IN.

LULU (CONT'D)

...Anya rights.

-

Lexa balks, peeling her eyes from the page to gape at Anya.

"Anya rights? Anya rights? You can't just... Arbitrarily rename the Miranda rights. They have that name for a reason."

Anya rolls her eyes like Lexa just said something obnoxiously stupid. "I didn't just rename them, you dumbass. I fucking changed them. If you'd read the whole thing, you would know that the suspect has the obligation to remain silent. No more fucking cry babies in cuffs."

"This is..." Lexa opens and closes her mouth like a fish, trying to find a thread of logic in the midst of... Whatever fever dream she's living in right now. "I thought we were filming a porno, not a sexy cop movie. Plumber by day, detective by night? That's- it's not even remotely realistic."

"Lexa... Suspend your disbelief."

"I think it's really good stuff," Clarke chimes in, her breasts still firmly pressed to Lexa's shoulder blade.

"Thank you, Clarke!" Anya exclaims, throwing her hands up and letting them fall on her legs with a loud clap. "At least someone appreciates my genius."

Lexa rolls her eyes, but fine. Fine. She will read more; she will give Anya a chance. She opens the book on a new page, several scenes ahead.

-

INT. BLONDIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Blondie rubs her lover's love button like she's scratching at a turn-table, making Lulu scream louder than Saoirse Ronan in Ammonite when Kate Winslet was eating her out with her neck.

LULU

Oh, fuck! You're so good at this! Almost as good as my awesome best friend and mentor Anya, even though I've never had sex with her because that would be totally gross.

Blondie stops her ministrations to look up at Lulu and smirks.

BLONDIE

I know. After all, they don't call me DJ Diddles for nothin'.

-

Lexa stares incredulously from the two hundred-odd pages to Anya, wondering how grave a sin she must have committed in a past life to deserve this.

"What are you, a sex-deprived straight guy?"

Anya scoffs, yanking the script from Lexa's hands before she can do anything to stop it. "I can assure you there is no deprivation in that department."

"After reading that I am seriously starting to doubt that you've ever even seen a vagina."

"I thought it was good," Clarke pipes in once again. This time, Lexa turns to her with a raised eyebrow.

"Is she paying you to say that?"

Clarke tsks with a smirk. "I'm just smart enough to know better than to get on the lead producer's bad side."

Anya snaps her fingers and points at Clarke approvingly, and Lexa has never regretted a decision so deeply in her life.

"Anyway," Clarke resumes, standing up and grabbing her bag. "This has been fun, but I need to get going. Anya, stay classy. We'll work out the schedule this week. Lexa," she adds, her voice dropping a tone to turn into a seductive purr. She leans down, and it's all Lexa can do not to focus on how her breasts squish together and seem to become fuller and more inviting. She loses the plot when a pair of lips presses to her cheek in a kiss that is chaste, yet way too slow for propriety. "See you tomorrow."

Lexa's throat is dry as a desert as she watches Clarke leave, her hips swaying more than usual. She jumps in place when Anya clears her throat next to her. This time, she can't avoid her friend's shit-eating grin.

"No chemistry, you say?"

"Shut up, Anya," she grumbles, focusing back on her work. She has a full, five-minute newscast to prepare, she can't dawdle and joke around gossiping like some people. But then a thought pops up in her head and she turns to Anya, eyes narrowed. "Is this some elaborate plan to get us together? I refuse to be your little Love, Actually experiment."

Anya's stare is fifty shades of unimpressed. "Lexa. Don't take yourself so seriously. It's a bad look on you."

Lexa buries her face in her hands with a long-suffering sigh. Why is this her life? Why is this her best friend? Why is she hopelessly attracted to the worst, most unprofessional coworker on the planet?

"Why couldn't you find a normal hobby? Something that doesn't include me? Like baking. Baking would have been so much better."

"You know," Anya drawls almost nostalgically, "I actually considered that, but the criminally inclined baker niche was already taken up by Martha Stewart."

"She is surprisingly niche," Lexa says, intrigued.

"Indeed."

"But she's also able to appeal to a larger audience."

"Uh-huh."

"Fascinating."

"I know. It's like Punkya. You'd think a lesbian erotica magazine would only appeal to queer women and depraved straight men, but it's been selling surprisingly well amongst the straight female demographic."

Hm. Are all women secretly queer?

"Interesting," Lexa concedes, before veering the topic back to Anya's passion (and Lexa's torture) project. "So when does principal photography start?"

And there it is again, that nefarious gleam in Anya's eyes. It grows along with her Cheshire cat grin, curling and curling until it's pure, unbridled evil.

"Next week."

[troped-fanfic-challenge]

Round One!

It’s officially time to VOTE for Round One of TROPED Madness 3.0! The structure is simple! Our four writers have been paired up in two head to head brackets, and its your job to chose who moves forward to the final round, and who gets CHOPPED! For the brackets, please select the one (1) fic that best used the prompt {Action/Adventure + character is badly injured + cliffhanger}! The writer with the winning fic will move forward to The Final Round!!

Additionally, we ask you to rank the four submissions in a seperate question! Please rank the four (4) fics, first (1) being your top choice, and four (4) being your last choice! This will help us to decide who is the top of our final bracket!

You can vote here:

https://forms.gle/ReaEwoC4c6YV8oVFA

The four fics that we received for this round can be found below, or on AO3 here! Each fic follows the theme [Action/Adventure], includes the tropes [Character is badly injured and ...] and [Cliffhanger], and have included the characters [Gaia (The 100) or Julie (JATP)]! When you vote, please be sure to take into consideration the USE of all these elements, because, as with all other TROPED events, the purpose is to select the authors who best utilize the requirements!

--------

where you never, never have to worry about grown up things again (Rated M) [The 100 - Clarke Griffin x John Murphy]

Summary: Maybe it should have fazed Clarke that she was currently in Neverland on a quest to save the daughter she'd given up from said daughter's evil grandmother who was currently a teenager. Maybe it should have fazed her that she was on said quest with her daughter's sometimes evil adoptive mother, her own estranged parents who were the same age as her, her ex's almost definitely still evil sister, and fucking Captain Hook. Maybe it should have fazed her that she kind of sort of maybe probably had a thing going on with a certain one handed pirate.

Maybe all of that should have fazed her, but, at this point, it was just another fucking Tuesday.

follow the heart i believe in ('cause in the past it's done me so good) (Rated T) [The Witcher - Jaskier & Yennefer]

Summary: "And why didn't you just go to Geralt with this and move on with your life?" Yennefer asks wearily, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Jaskier scoffs at her. "I am not speaking to Geralt again until I get an apology from him. I still have some self-respect, thank you very much."

"So you're going to risk your life protecting his adopted daughter instead?"

"Jesus, I want him out of my life and I want him to suffer. I don’t want his kid dead.”

"But you won't talk to him?"

"Self-respect, Yennefer."

“...You need to take a good, hard look at your priorities."

(Six months after Geralt breaks both of their hearts, Jaskier and Yennefer find themselves in the strange position of being the only people who can protect Ciri's secret identity as a vigilante superhero.)

No Place To Hide (Rated M) [The 100 - Gen Fic]

Summary: What was supposed to be a normal morning coffee run quickly turns into a fight for survival when two men with guns burst in and take Gaia and everyone else in the convenience store hostage. Fear is a given, but amidst the terror Gaia finds a strength she never knew she possessed.

Trigger Warning: This fic depicts a situation in which a store is held hostage by gunmen who open fire. The violence is mostly implied or non-graphic and there is some mention (again non-graphic for the most part) of injury and death due to gun violence. Please take heed of this before reading.

the cold never bothered me anyway (Rated G) [Golden Sun - Piers & Mia]

Summary: The air is impossibly cold.  As Piers takes one wobbling step, then another, clutching his cloak around him and shivering against the frigid air, he can’t help but wonder how on Weyard he got himself into this mess.  His entire body aches and he can feel the pain blossoming in his side but still he presses onwards, his gaze fixed on the lighthouse stretching towards the sky at the horizon.  With the snow billowing around him, rarely settling on the ground, it’s difficult to even register where he’s stepping.

Or: Mortally injured, Piers makes his way to Imil, where Mia can help him. After that, it's only natural to fall back on their adventurous ways

[uniqorrn]

Bellamy Blake x Reader

Location: The Dropship

Summary: After leaving the camp with Clarke, Jasper, Octavia, Monty, and Fin in attempt at getting to the mountains you make the mistake of following Octavia into the fresh water you find along the way. After Octavia is attacked by a creature in the water she is saved by Jasper. You all think you're safe but, the creature comes back for more and takes you this time instead, leaving you injured when the group finally saves you. However, Bellamy isn't too happy to see that both his sister and his girlfriend come back to camp wounded.

Warnings: ⚠️ language, kind of a make-out session/a little smutty, blood, being attacked by a creature, injuries, mentions of drowning/drowning like scenes, overprotective! and jealous! Bellamy(but hey who doesn't like that 😉)

Pairing(s): Bellamy Blake x Reader some Fin x Reader if you squint.

Words: 2,292

A/n: For this imagine the story has been altered a little bit. And I apologize if somethings wrong with the scene, I just started watching the 100 so I apologize in advance if i anything seems off or wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV:

"Are you sure we're going the right way, Clarke?" You groaned out as you stepped over yet another large tree root. You had been walking for hours and your body was tired. All you wanted was to sit down and rest for just a minute.

"Yes, I'm sure." She paused, taking in a deep breath as she looked around at the woods. "I at least think we are."

"Maybe we should go back to ca-"

"Hey, guys! Check this out!" You were interrupted by a sudden shout, turning your head in the direction of the shout you sped up your pace until you moved into a run. Your e/c eyes widened at the sight, allowing them to dance across the crystal still water that laid in front of you.  A wide grin tugged at your lips as you turned to look at Octavia, giving her that same mischievous smirk that she was giving you.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" She laughed, her eyes darting back out to the still water.

"Hell yeah!" You shouted, pumping your fist into the air before starting to take off your jeans as you watched Octavia begin to break the still water, creating ripples the further she walked in.

"Man, I love earth" you heard Jasper mumble behind you. You rolled your eyes at his comment knowing he was watching you and Octavia strip of your clothes. With that same smirk you followed Octavia into the water, sighing at the cold sensation that wrapped around your body the deeper you went. However, you only made it waist deep in the water when the group behind you began shouting.

"Get out of the water!"

"Get out of the water now you guys!" Your eyes widened at the way the water moved. Fast ripples and waves moved towards you and Octavia at a lightning fast speed. You turned on your feet and moved out of the water as fast as you could, slipping and sliding on the wet rocks beneath your feet as the water restricted your movements. The rest of the group were up on the rocks, shouting and reaching their hands out towards you and Octavia. You managed to get closer to the rocks to grab Fins hand, who pulled you out of the water and onto land unharmed. Without a minute of rest you turned around quickly, screaming out your bestfriends name in fear.

"Octavia!" You cried, letting go of Fins arm as you fell to the ground near the edge of the rock you were standing on. Your eyes landed on Octavia just as the creature took her under the water, your eyes glazing over with tears instantly.

"Octavia! No!" You continued to cry out for her, your eyes searching the deep river for any signs of her. Just as soon as everyone thought she was gone, she broke the surface again and dragged around in circles, screaming for help.

"Quick! Help me distract it. Maybe it will let her go." Clarke shouted, pushing a large boulder into the water with the help of Fin. Just as she thought, the creature let go of Octavia and rushed to the splash that was created by the giant rock. Jasper ran to the waters surface, jumping in and pulling her out of the water and onto land safely.

"Octavia! Your leg." Clarke mumbled, pointing to the smaller wound on her upper thigh. I stayed sitting on the cold wet rock, watching the group from a distance as they checked on her wound. I was too busy focusing on slowing my breathing that I didn't notice the creature was coming back until something grabbed my ankle. A sharp, loud scream left my throat as I was dragged back into the freezing cold water. As I went under, I inhaled some of the river water, coughing it back up and gasping for air as I surfaced.

"Y/n!" The group shouted, rushing to the edge of the rock.

"Y/n! Hold on! Quick, Somebody help her!" I could hear Octavia's terrified shouts from the shore as the creature dragged me around the water. However, everyone was frozen In place and too shocked to do anything. Another sharp scream left my throat as sharp teeth sank into my waist and left arm, blood staining the water red as it leaked from my body and into the river.

"S-Somebody... h-help me!" I coughed out, reaching my right hand out of the water as if someone would grab it and help pull me out. By this time I had inhaled too much water and was becoming dizzy from the lack of oxygen. As spots started clouding my vision everything stopped, the creature released me from its hold and suddenly I was floating, kicking myself up above the waters surface to try and inhale what oxygen I could. My body grew tired the more I kicked, pain shooting up my left side with each thrust as i kicked myself closer to the shore. My head started to go under again, my breathing turning into desperate gasps.

"It's alright, I got you now." Fins hands wrapped around my arm, pulling me out of the water and back onto the shore. He pressed me against his chest as I coughed up more water onto the rocks, groaning at the pain that throbbed on my left side. He gently put me down on the ground, rolling me onto my side to let the water fall from my mouth.

"Oh god.. Y/n! Are you okay?!" Octavia shouted, her eyes glossing over as she looked at the deep gash on my waist.

"I-I'm alright..-" I paused to cough, wincing at the pain in my side. "I think anyway" I forced out a laugh, soon followed by another short coughing fit.

"Let's get you two back to camp, those injuries are bad." Clarke said, the others all nodding in agreement as they crowded around me.

"Wait you guys.." Jaspers eyes widened, his lip quivering slightly. It's like he was frozen with fear, even greater fear than what we just went through.

"What Jasper? We don't have time to wait." Clarke lectured, per usual for her. There was a rather long pause as we all waited for Jasper to speak up again. And when he finally did the groups eyes widened in fear, swallowing the lumps in their throats as he uttered those five words.

"Bellamy's going to kill us."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Someone get me some medical supplies!" Clarke shouted as we made it into the clearing of the camp. All eye turned to look at us, hushed gasps and whispered filling the clearing as Jasper helped Octavia sit down on a log and while Fin placed me on the floor next to her, helping me lean back against the log for support. Bellamy and Murphy were in the back of the large crowd that had gathered around. They shared a look, Bellamy's jaw flexing as he pushed forward through the crowd, Murphy following quickly behind.

"What the hell happened here?" That voice. That stern, deep, husky voice you knew all to well sounded above all the commotion. You raised your head slightly, giving Bellamy a tired smile as Fin adjusted you once more for Clarke to be able to work her magic. Murphy stood next to Bellamy, the two giving each other a worried yet curious stare as their eyes landed on my wounds.

"Ow! Clarke that stings!" I hissed out, jerking backward slightly as she applied some ointment to the wound. Bellamy walked up to Octavia first, sending Fin and Clarke a glare as they ignored his protests and questions. But, I didn't fail to see that stern glare he sent their way as he squatted down next to his sister. He was always overprotective of me and his sister but, when it came to me it was a whole new level of overprotective. I was used to it by now but, it still sent butterflies to my stomach knowing he still felt and acted the same way as when we first met.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. But, we need to clean the wound, it could get infected." You could hear Bellamy and Octavia mumbling at the other end of the log. Bellamy's jaw tightened in anger and worry the more he heard your painful moans. He hated seeing you hurt in anyway so, you can imagine the shock he had when he saw you entering the camp with a bloody gash on your waist and a rather large scratch on your left arm. He wasn't there to protect you and that pissed him off even more. After Clarke was done she and Fin walked over to Octavia, leaving you alone for only a few seconds before Bellamy was right at your side.

"Are you crazy? You could've gotten yourself killed Y/n!" He mumbled, placing a hand on your shoulder as he used the other one to lean on, giving himself some support.

"I'm fine, Bellamy. Fin pulled me out of-"

"Fin?! Why is it always about Fin nowadays!" He whisper-yelled, his face turning red in anger and jealousy.

"Bellamy calm down! I'm alive thanks to him-"

"I'm not going to calm down Y/n! You could have died! don't you get it? you could have died out there and I wouldn't know. I don't like that he touched you.. I don't like that he was the one that pulled you out of the water. I don't like that he's the one who brought you back to camp wrapped up in his arms as if he was your boyfriend-" I cut off his jealous rant with a kiss, pressing my lips onto his in a heated kiss. His breathing slowed down and his muscles began to relax as our lips moved in sync. After a minute we broke away for air, resting our foreheads against each others. He moved his lips down to my neck to place rough yet sweet kisses there, earning a gasp out of me. He placed feather light kisses the rest of the way down, stopping at my exposed shoulder -as I was wearing a tank top- to place small, light, loving kisses there. A small groan left my lips at his light touch which caused him to smirk against my skin. He knew exactly what he was doing and only made his ego bigger.

"Bell.. Not here. Not in front of everyone." I mumbled, pushing his head up so he could look me in the eyes again.

"Why not? Everyone should know that you belong to me." He smirked, tucking his hand underneath my legs as the other wrapped around my lower back, careful not to touch the wound on my hip. He stood up with me in his arms-bridal style- as he started walking to his tent. Giving Fin a sharp glare and a smirk as he passed him before entering me and his shared tent. He gently set me on the cot, giving me another hot kiss on my lips. He placed his hands on either side of me to support himself as he hovered over me. His black curly hair fell over his face as he planted his lips back on my neck, kissing and sucking till a sharp gasp left my throat once again. He abused that spot for a moment, smirking against my skin as our breathing became heavier and our bodies became hotter.

"You're lucky you're injured right now or else I wouldn't be holding back." His hot breath hit against my skin as he spoke, making another quiet moan leave my throat.

"Oh really?" I smirked, placing a firm kiss on his toned jawline. He took in a sharp breath, falling to lay beside me on the cot. His signature smirk was plastered on his face as he made himself comfortable next to me, his hand running down the thigh that wasn't injured.

"Now you've got me all hot and bothered, babe." I grumbled, scooting down so I could lay my head on his bicep, giving him a small kiss on the cheek before I snuggled into his chest.

"You could say it's payback for almost dying on me."

"Well, you'll just have to punish me when I'm better don't you think?" I questioned. I already knew what his answer would be but, I enjoyed the teasing.

"Oh you know it babygirl." He smirked, looking down at me with those dark, brooding eyes. oh boy were you in for a treat once your wound healed.

[justinewt]

A Fly On The Wall - THE 100 REWRITE Chapter Fourteen

[THE 100 MASTERLIST]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter 

Summary: Their little expedition didn’t do much except bring back an umpteenth survivor from the ark, even though their original goal was to go and save their friend trapped in Mount Weather. Abby tended to the wounded and Finn and Murphy were pardoned for what happened to the Grounders’ village, which pissed Michelle since John had done nothing wrong, at least this one time... Abby then took Michelle, Clarke, Raven, Bellamy, Octavia and Finn along with her on a scouting mission, but she couldn’t possibly keep an eye on all these strong but rebellious kids, could she?

Words: 3.9k

Warnings:  The 100 season 2 spoilers (episode 5 “Human Trials” & 6 “Fog of War”), wound, blood, sarcasm, unfairness, revelation, unexpected reunion, threat/warning

“Open the gate.” Abby requested inside the camp after she saw the group of teenagers come back, minus Murphy and Finn obviously. The gate buzzed and opened for them. While Bellamy helped the girl they had rescued, a hand in her back, Octavia and Monroe supported Michelle, her arms around her back and the injured girl holding onto their shoulders, hopping so as not to put pressure on her wounded leg. The arrow was still inside but thanks to Octavia and Monroe’s help, the pain was greatly reduced. It also seemed like the blood wasn’t flowing like she thought it would so it was good news also, but she still needed her leg to be taken care of by Abby as soon as they would finally step into camp. For some reason, Michelle found that it hurt a bit less than whe her hand was slashed by a Grounder’s machete, so she wasn’t so worried anymore, just really hurting but that was normal.

“We’re gonna need your weapon.” A camp guard seized Bellamy’s gun as he entered along with Mel. He let go fo the weapon, showing the palm of his hand in peace. Abby approached them and looked at the new girl. Her face was stained with dry blood, and she looked exhausted.

“I know you. Factory Station. Where are the others?”

“There are no others.” The girl said in a hollow voice.

“We found her a day from here.” Bellamy stated. “No survivors. Lots of supplies.”

“Get her to medical.” Abby then ordered and another woman led her to the tent. She then shifted her gaze on Michelle and as Monroe and Octavia let go of her so Abby could take her, the girl looked up and saw Clarke running towards them and widened her eyes. A radiant smile rose on both their faces, and they looked at each other for a second.

“You look like hell.” Michelle joked with a chuckle, looking at all the scars she had on her face. Clarke glanced down at her bandaged leg. A tiny shaft was sticking out and the dressing was partially soaked in blood. Michelle followed her gaze and shrugged before showing her hand. A few stitches had skipped and there were small but dried streaks of blood on her palm. “I'm starting a collection of battle scars, pretty cool, huh?”

Clarke shook her head, giggling softly and they hugged, their arms wrapped around each other tightly as if they didn’t want to let go of the other but eventually, they had to, and Abby helped Michelle to get to medical. Michelle felt Abby’s gaze on her, but she looked around the camp, purposefully avoiding looking at her. She felt like she was going to say something about Kane if she established eye contact and she had no desire to do so. She didn’t even want to be thinking about that. It was too confusing and upsetting and she wanted her mind to be fixated on anything but this. He didn’t feel like her father anyway and she didn’t need him. She still blamed him for the death of her mother because it was his fault that she had ended up in solitary confinement, like Clarke, and was then sent to the ground. She still thought that maybe if she had been there when the bomb went off on Unity Day that she could have done something, or at least, she could have seen her mother one last time and say goodbye, but no. And she only had him to blame. At first, she blamed herself, for not talking to her mom when they had this whole radio installed but he was the one that deserved her resentment, and she wouldn’t think twice before showing him.

“All right.” Abby helped her to lie down on a bed in the infirmary and she brought a chair closer to sit at her leg. She carefully unwrapped the dirty bandage from around her thigh and grabbe a pair of scissors to cut through her jeans and have better access to the arrow so she could take the head out. Michelle knew this was going to hurt “It’s very helpful that you broke the shaft already.”

“I thought it would be easier to move around without the whole thing sticking out.” Michelle shrugged. Abby nodded and observed the injury in silence, palpating lightly around the entering wound. After a dozen of seconds, she looked at Michelle.

“It didn’t hit the femoral artery. That’s why you didn’t just bleed out. And it just penetrated soft flesh in your thigh, I can pull it out.” She explained and Michelle just nodded without saying anything. Abby started sorting through her tools on a plate nearby. Along with the surgical instruments were bandages ad a few other things Michelle couldn’t identify. Abby dipped a small cloth in alcohol and cleand around the arrow before softly grabbind what was left of the shaft. As she did so, she looked at Michelle. “On three. One… two… three.”

When she pulled it out, Michelle let out a shriek.  She swallowed harshly, her clenched fist up to her mouth and she groaned. It felt like something was tearing her skin apart and she felt as if her leg was on fire while Abby was already applying pressure on her thigh to stop any more bleeding. Michelle took a deep breath in and loudly exhaled with a sigh. She was a little dizzy, but she stared at Abby as she cleaned the wound with alcohol. It stung and she wanted to move her leg around, but she kept still, frowning and keeping it together during the thorough and deep cleaning of the tear in her leg. Abby gave her comforting smiles every now and then and she eventually bandaged her leg with clean dressing and got to her hand where she just fixed the few stitches that had skipped.

“Now, please, stay put and get some rest, and please, don’t get these wounds open again, Michelle.”

“Got it.” She assured and sighed, staring at the ceiling of the infirmary, not even realizing she was actually falling asleep, and her head rolled to the side.

TWO DAYS LATER

Michelle took a sip of her drink and twirled the glass on the table distractedly, glancing up at the moon high in the sky before looking at Bellamy and Clarke sitting with her around the table.

“Okay, tell me again.” Bellamy demanded heavily.

“It’s a labyrinth. We got to the dam through this tunnel.” Clarke leaned on the table, a pencil in her hand and she pointed on a map. “It’s all connected to the mine system. That’s our way in.”

“Sure, if we can get past the Reapers and the Mountain Men.” He and Clarke stared at each other. “I swear to God, if your mom doesn’t sanction a mission soon... I’m going by myself.”

“You won’t be by yourself.”

“Hey,” Michelled snapped her fingers. “you’re not leaving me out of this.” Clarke sighed and looked at her best friend, nodding before her eyes were drawn by movement at the entrance of the Station. Bellamy and Michelle followed her gaze and saw people coming out. Finn followed by Murphy, to be more precise.

“I guess the inquisition’s over.” Bellamy figured and he turned to Clarke again. “How’s Finn doing, anyway?”

“I haven’t talked to him since we got back. I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes drifted into the void. “He just kept shooting.”

“We’re at war, Clarke. We’ve all done things.”

“You slaughtered a Grounder village too? ‘Cause I haven’t.” Michelle retorted bitterly and Bellamy silently sighed as Finn approached the table, coming from behind the latter.

“Hey.” He said and Michelle shot her eyebrows and looked away, taking a last sip of her drink.

“Hey.” Bellamy replied and he glanced at Clarke as she remained silent. He leaned on his hand and stood up. “Next round’s on me.”

“Generous.” Michelle watched him walk away. He was giving her a heavy look, but she wasn’t leaving Clarke alone with Finn anytime soon. She didn’t like the idea of letting the Spacewalker be anywhere near Clarke alone, even though she knew Clarke could take care of herself on her own and it wasn’t going to go downhill right now, in the middle of a heavily armed camp. He would be apprehended quickly if he got as crazy as he did in this village. But still, she didn’t want to leave, and she wasn’t going to, unless Clarke asked her to. Only then would she move.

“Mount Weather?” Finn sat down in Bellamy’s place and glanced at the detailed map on the table. Clarke simply nodded, not making eye contact with him. “What’s the plan?”

“Still working on it.” She barely looked at him in the eyes before looking away again.

“Ah, check it out.” Michelle turned her head to the side when she heard Murphy approaching. He sat between Michelle and Clarke and looked at Finn, clearly ignoring the awkwardness of the moment on purpose. “Salvaged Monty’s still from the drop ship. Now, I guess, you know, if they could just salvage Monty, huh? Heh.” Clarke seemed upset by his comment. “Easy, it was just a joke.” He smirked as he looked at the three others around the table, his cup in hand. “Okay. You tell her we’re cleared?”

“No.” He said in a low tone, shaking his head.

“Well, looks like our pardon for surviving includes our time on the ground. Now bigger fish to fry, I guess.”

“We did what we had to do.” Finn insisted, staring at Clarke who kept avoiding looking at him until he stood up. “I gotta go.”

“Trouble in paradise?” Murphy whistled.

“Just because they pardoned you, doesn’t mean I have.” She replied calmly and Murphy shot up his eyebrows, taking a sip of his drink. Michelle kept quiet because the fact that he was getting blamed along with Finn when it was, he who lost it and murdered a whole village of Grounders, and she didn’t want to get into an argument with Clarke over this very subject. She didn’t want to fight so she didn’t speak her mind, but she would, eventually. Clarke rolled her eyes and looked up at Raven as the mechanic walked over to them.

“Clarke. Beat it, Murphy.”

“Well, then, have a good one.” He stood up, almost whispering before walking away as Raven sat down. Michelle hadn’t been asked to leave as well, but she got the feeling that Raven didn’t want to talk to her either, so she followed Murphy and she didn’t really mind; she wasn’t friendly with Raven. As they walked, Murphy slipped his arm around her shoulders, and she looked up at him. They went a little further away after refilling their drinks and sat down. She sighed and drank. “Mind to continue where we left off last time?”

“What do you mean?” She frowned slightly.

“You told me you’d never known who your dad was.”

“Oh, that.” She cleared her throat.

“And that Abby told you about him.”

“Yeah. She did that.” She cleared her throat, sighing, looking around. She was silent for a moment, because she didn’t want to say it outloud, as if it would make it actually real, even though it already was, and she knew it, but she still didn’t want it to be. “She, uh… she told me my father is Marcus Kane.” He stayed silent, looking in the void and frowned.

“Wait, really?”

“I wished it wasn’t true. But it is. I mean, he fathered me, that’s it. He’s not my dad. Never had one.” She sighed, looking down at her drink, staring at the liquor trembling imperceptibly between his fingers.

“Does he know?”

“Well, Abby told me so. She said that when my mother was dying after the bombing on the Ark, she told him herself.” She chuckled bitterly and she was so upset and frustrated that her voice shook as she continued. “When I found him and Abby after the station they were on had landed, I hoped to see my mom with them but no, just this fucker and Abby. She told me about what happened and I just… wanted him to be dead too.” She cleared her throat, sniffed and wiped away the tears that welled up in the corners of her eyes and straightened up before taking a sip of her drink, glancing at Clarke and Raven talking. She felt Murphy’s gaze on her and she looked at him. “No one but you, me, Abby and Kane, know that he’s my dad.”

“Not even Clarke?” He asked.

“I haven’t had the time to tell her and, I don’t know, I don’t know if it’s the right time to talk about this. You said it yourself, “bigger fish to fry”, I guess.”

“Was that supposed to be an impression of me?” He rose his eyebrows with a cheeky and amused smile. She couldn’t help it but laugh and she just shrugged it off.

“I don’t know. You tell me.” He kept smirking as they both took a sip of their drinks and she exhaled.

“Do you still wish he was dead?” Her smile faded and she bit the inside of her cheek, tilting her head to the side.

“I don’t know.” She pursed her lips and shrugged. “I just don’t want him to be my dad. I hate him.”

“I mean, he’s an asshole.” He agreed and she said nothing. “He locked us up and put you in solitary confinement.”

“So, I’m not a douchebag for blaming it all on him?” She turned her head to face his.

“No.” He said softly, his blue eyes glaring into her almond brown eyes. She smiled feebly and he tightened his grip of her, squeezing her shoulder tenderly. While the others disliked him and he was often their scapegoat, she loved him and understood him very much. More than she would have thought.

“Don’t forget to look up. The Grounders use the trees.” Bellamy reminded everyone as the group progressed in the forest, all equipped with their backpacks, and a few of them with guns also. “That’s how we lost John Mbege.”

Michelle was there along with the others. Neither Clarke nor Abby or even Bellamy were able to convince her to stay in camp. She refused to stay on the side and wanted to help them. Hurt or not, she would have tag along and that’s what happened. Even Abby admitted that walking wouldn’t do her any harm, she would just have to be careful if any action came their way and avoid being in the eye of the storm. Michelle needed some distraction from her own thoughts and focusing on a rescue mission was perfect. The little chat she had with Murphy last night had somehow really helped with steadying her nerves and she felt a little better. She had the right to be angry at Kane as he was the only person, she could blame for everything. It was better to do that than guilt-trip herself and he made her see that. Her mom wouldn’t want to see her dear daughter torturing herself over this either. They exited the forest and stopped near a cliff where Raven got her binoculars out and looked up, watching the surroundings to find Mount Weather antenna. They had apparently been jamming their radio frequencies.

“There. I see it.” She stretched her arms, pointing at the top of the mountain facing them. Clarke stepped closer to her, and she handed her the field glasses. The blonde then shook her head.

“It’ll be dark soon. We’ll never spot the traps.” She gave the binoculars to her mother. “We should set up camp here. Leave at first light.” Michelle observed Abby as the doctor looked around.

“We’re missing two.” She declared before turning to Clarke. “Where the hell are they?”

“Bellamy, Octavia!” A guard started calling out their names, walking around the area to try and spot them. Michelle wasn’t in on whatever this new plan was, but she honestly didn’t care. She knew the two and it wasn’t hard for her to imagine why they would disappear like that. They were on the real rescue mission. “Clarke, we are in enemy territory, and their lives are my responsibility.”

“They went to find a way in.” Clarke said.

“A way in? That’s not what this mission is about.” There was seriousness in Abby’s eyes.

“It is for them.” Abby turned around and looked at a camp’s guard standing a few feet behind her.’

“Find them. Bring them back.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He looked over at other guards. “You two with me. Let’s go.”

“I’m going with them.” Finn picked up a gun.

“Finn, wait.” Clarke stopped him herself.

“We need you here.” Raven stood before him.

“Why? So, you can keep an eye on me?” Clarke glanced down at the gun in his hands. “You’d have to be able to look at me to do that.”

“Finn.”

“What do you think I’m gonna do?” He snapped at Raven. Michelle crossed her arms over her chest and rose her eyebrows. What they feared he would do was pretty obvious to the lot of them.

“Now that you ask, I really don’t know what we’re so afraid of.” Michelle mocked, keeping a straight face as he walked past her, throwing the gun to the ground and walking away.

“I’ll go get him.” Clarke said, glancing at Michelle before following the crazy spacewalker. Then after a few dozen of seconds, Michelle looked up over the trees and narrowed her eyes until she realized what it was.

“Abby.” The latter looked at her and then followed her gaze and saw it as well. “Install the tents! That’s acid fog.”

“Clarke? Clarke, do you read me?” Abby called through the radio. Everyone had installed the tents in a hurry the moment they heard Clarke’s voice come through, warning them about the acid fog coming and now they were safe, waiting for it to pass. There was a static crackling coming from the radio and no answers from Clarke, or Finn.

“We’re closer to the source. It’s swallowing short-range now too.” Raven said.

“Clarke, do you read me?” She tried again even though she had not been very successful up to this point. “Damn it.”

“Clarke and Finn know these woods.”

“She left her pack, and her tent is in it.”

“They must have gone to the bunker.” Michelle assumed.

“Yes. They’ll find shelter.” Raven agreed as she turned a few buttons on the radio until indistinct voices came to their ears.

“What is that?” Abby wondered.

“I don’t know.” Raven frowned, focusing on the radio monitor. “It sounds like they’re jamming every frequency but this one. You hear that? This one’s clear.”

“That sounds clear to you?”

“It will be once I crack the encryption.”

“English, Raven. What does it mean?” Abby was confused. Michelle frowned slightly, thinking.

“It means that we can listen in on them.”

“Exactly.” Raven nodded and she focused back on the radio monitor, twithing the buttons and tapping here and there, doing whatever she knew to do to crack the encryption, as she said. Abby and Michelle were smart but not as tech-savvy as Raven, so they watched her do her thing for a while, still hearing the indistinct voices and static noise coming from the radio.

“What’s taking so long?” Abby eventually asked.

“I’ve almost got it.” She glanced at her and Michelle. “They’re using a type of audio modulation here, like a feedback loop. I just need to pinpoint the origin of the loop, home in on the pure transmission. Just need to find the right…”

“Check the other side and report back, over.” A man’s voice rose from the radio.

“You did it.” Abby noted and Raven smiled proudly as they listened to the voices.

“Copy. Checking the western boundary. Stand by. Over.” Another replied. "No signs of life, over.”

“Has the veil lifted yet? Over.” The first man inquired.

“Negative, sir.”

“Coverage is still 90 percent. Over.”

“Keep searching.” That one seemed like a leader of some sort to the soldier from Mount Weather. Abby, Raven and Michelle were staring at each other, smiles had faded while they listened. “If they pop up, hit them again, over and out.”

“The veil. They’re talking about the fog.” Michelle realized.

“It’s a weapon.” Abby added.

“Which means they attacked us.” Raven said and Abby turned around, lifting a piece of fabric to see outside thanks to a see-through circle in the tent. The fog was still very much out there.

“Sergeant Porter.”

“Yes, ma’am?” He answered from the other tent.

“Build your bomb. When that fog lifts, take the tower down. Copy?” Raven shook her head as Abby gave the order.

“Copy, ma’am.”

“What’s wrong?” Abby stared at the young woman.

“We’re listening to the enemy.” Raven stated frowning. “Blow the antenna and we won’t be able to do that.”

“Don’t blow it and we won’t make contact with any other Ark survivors, and we need those reenforcments, Raven.”

“Tough call.”

“I know what Clarke would do.” Michelle spoke. Abby peeked at her before looking down at the ground from the corner of her eyes. It was a tough call, and it was either find other survivors, if there were any left out there, or spy on their enemies and eventually rescue their peers in the mountain. Clarke wouldn't have jeopardized their friends' rescue, and it wasn't what Abby wanted to do either.

The fog had finally gone. They put the tents away and returned near the camp and waited in the open foe the others’ return. Bellamy and Octavia had gone inside Mount weather, so it was no surprise when they only saw Clarke and Finn walk up to them. Abby immidietaly to hug her daughter and Clarke then embraced her childhood best friend and found sister. They stepped away from each other after a moment and the blonde frowned, looking at her mother.

“Bellamy and Octavia?”

“They know to rendezvous here.”

“Have you tried to radio?”

“Still jammed.” Raven said.

“You didn’t blow the tower.” Clarke pointed out.

“Raven figured out a way that we could listen to Mount Weather.” Abby told Clarke. “If we took out the antenna, we wouldn’t be able to do that.”

“What about the other Ark stations?” She worried.

“We don’t know if they made it. What we do know is that 47 of our people are being held prisoner in that mountain. We’re gonna get them out.” On these words, Abby and Clarke shared another hug and Michelle crossed her arms over her chest with a soft smile before glancing at Mount Weather. They thought this place would help save them, but in the end, it wasn’t such a safe place, for them at least. The calm of this moment of respite was broken by the voice of a man coming from the forest, calling for help.

“Stay here, chancellor.” A guard requested as he jogged away. His machinegun clicked when he loaded the weapon, aiming straight ahead. “Show us your hands.”

There was a moment of suspense as he watched apprehensively as a man stood up in front of the guard. What a shocking surprise to see Thelonious Jaha stand there, looking exhausted and filthy, blood staining his face, broken handcuffs hanging from his wrists. He stretched out his arm to the gurad’s gun to lower it and he walked over to Abby. The latter couldn’t take her eyes off him; his return came like a bolt from the blue.

“Thelonious?” Abby grabbed his arm as he fell to his knees, looking at the huge Ark ring of camp Jaha.

“I have a message from the commander.” He articulated. “Leave… or die. We have two days.”

[To be continued…]  

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Published (08/05/2022) by Andrea

Taglist: @cathrin2405​ @kika64

[topazy]

Silent bloom

Pairings: Bellamy Blake/reader Finn Collins/reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood, and vomiting

Chapter: 1.12 (Bellamy’s pov)

1.02

"Cut it out!" Y/N snapped, which took me by surprise. She seemed so quiet. "The only thing that matters right now is finding Jasper! Bellamy, stop moaning. You’re coming with us and that’s the end of it."

"Excuse me?" I was irritated by her tone.

Y/N walked closer to me, with a look of disbelief on her face. "You want to lead? Then lead. You’re the only person here with a gun, and those kids out there won’t follow you unless you give them a reason to."

"She’s right." Clarke chimed in. "Because you want them to follow you and right now they’re thinking only one of us is scared."

"Fine."

I watched as the bossy girl froze just before she reached the camp gates. It seemed like she was telling Finn to get lost. The last thing I needed was any more drama in camp. I had a feeling the girl with the scarred eye would cause it.

—

"So how did you earn the nickname angel eyes?"

My ears perked up when I heard Murphy shamelessly trying to flirt with the girl walking beside him. It was hard to figure out if she was enjoying his attention or not. "The only person who calls me that is you, Murphy."

"How did you get the scar?" I listened in, as I was curious myself about how she got it.

"Fist fight in a bar. You should have seen the other guy." She had a dry sense of humor, "I fell and cut it."

"Can you see clearly out of it?" He asked, standing closer to her.

"Yes, and I know what you are doing!" She snatched her wrist back, laughing. Murphy just shrugged. "I’m not giving it to you, so you and your little king can stop trying."

I glared at Y/N when she turned around to face me. I had nothing to do with Murphy trying to take her bracelet off. It wasn’t my fault if he wanted to try and show off.

"Did you hear that?" Wells asked, "It sounds like a moaning pain."

"Jasper!" Y/N gasped before running off in the direction of the noise. "He’s over here!"

"Y/N wait!"

She didn’t listen to Wells. What a stupid girl. She was going to get herself killed. I watched as she suddenly disappeared. I lunged forward to see what happened to her. Y/N was hanging onto the grass to stop herself from being killed, "Help me up!"

"Y/N? Bellamy pull her up!" Finn yelled just as I grabbed hold of her wrist. Clarke and Murphy helped us pull her up.

Y/N landed on top of Finn before quickly rolling off him, and glared at me. "What the fuck was that about?! You almost got me killed!"

Clarke shook her head and stepped forward before she could reply. "This isn’t going to help. The grounders are setting traps to catch us. We all need to be more careful."

The ‘princess’ was right. Y/N continued to glare at me. Was it my fault? Did she think I was going to let her die? I didn’t care about her, but we needed all the bodies on earth we could get.

—

"Stay here, I'll be back shortly." I watched the girl curiously as she walked towards the fire pit.

"Hey, John?"

I was expecting Murphy to kick off at being called his first name, but he looked amused. "What?"

She held up her wrist, "fancy freeing me?"

"Anything for angel eyes," Murphy said, grinning.

I watched her pick up a stick of meat and head towards her previous spot, but Finn and Clarke stopped her. I couldn’t hear the full conversation, just bits of it. I didn’t get Finn’s obsession with her. I wondered if they knew each other on the ark. "Yes, I am aware of that. Now if you don’t mind, can you move out of my way?"

"Then tell me, why did you take it off?" Finn demanded, not moving out of her way.

"Some of us don’t want to get punched in the face...Plus, It was hurting my cut wrist."

Her comment didn’t bother me, but Finn bothering her did. Also, I felt slightly bad that she cut her wrist while we pulled her up. I was getting ready to intervene when she walked away from Finn and sat back down beside a young girl, and handed her food. She had taken off her own wristband to feed someone else. Not many people would have done that, not even me.

1.03

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Finn storming towards Y/N, or whatever her name was. "Is it true?" She ignored him, "Well! Is it?"

She shrugged, "I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m a little busy here, Finn, so if you don’t mind."

"Please tell me you didn’t spend the night with Murphy." I noticed how offended she looked by his accusation. "You are so much better than that Daze. Why would you do that? Don’t you have any self-respect?"

"At least Murphy is flying solo."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Clarke asked from behind him.

"Nothing... it means nothing." She turned to walk away when she caught me staring. It didn’t seem to phase her much as she turned back to throwing knives.

I waited until Clarke and Finn were gone before approaching her. Even if she had screwed Murphy, neither of them had a right to judge her. "Y/N right?"

"Yeah," she answered without taking her eyes off the target. "But I go by Daze or Daisy."

That made sense. It suddenly occurred to me that this was the same girl that my sister wouldn’t shut up about. Somebody with her aim would be good at hunting. I wondered if she would be interested in joining us. "Useful to know. You have a good aim. Any interest in killing?"

"I’m not leaving the camp until Jasper is better," she replied, "maybe next time."

"Do you hear that?" I asked. "He’s dying. Don’t get your hopes up."

She scoffed at my comment, "enjoy the hunting trip."

I left her alone to practice. I wasn’t pointing out the obvious to be cruel, I just needed people to be prepared for the worst. When Jasper dies, the rest of us will still need to go on living.

—

I noticed Daisy walking out of the drop-ship, which surprised me. I thought she would have been celebrating her friend surviving. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I just needed a moment... I’m sorry about Atom."

I stared down at the ground to avoid eye contact with her. The last thing I wanted was anybody to see me get upset over Atom. He was my friend who trusted me, and I had let him down. "I don’t think Octavia is feeling sorry for me."

"She’ll come around. She’s just upset. Give her time," Daisy said with a smile.

"I’m glad you never came hunting with us." I confessed out loud, "Like I said, you have a good aim. It would have been a shame to lose someone with such skills."

I could see a smile pulling at the corner of her lips. "Yeah, yeah. Goodnight Bellamy."

—

"Finn move aside," I snapped.

"I can’t do that."

I pushed him out of my way as I walked into Daisy’s tent. I had to see for myself if she was still alive. When she never came back with Wells, I decided to look for her and saw her laying on the ground with a knife in her stomach. I thought she was dead.

Kneeling down beside her bed, I noticed how fragile she looked. Clarke had worked a miracle by saving her.

"Bellamy, you need to leave now!" I stood up again, and faced Finn. I found it ironic that he only cared about Daisy after she almost died. "If Daze gets an infection, she will die. The more people she comes in contact with, the higher the risk."

"Whatever," I shoved past him. "When Octavia comes, you will let her in."

1.05

I had just disposed of the god-damn radio when I felt something bang into me. I was surprised to see a slightly confused Daisy standing behind me.

"Y/N, what are you doing out here?"

"Me and Clarke came looking for you."

Was she joking? Nobody had seen her in hours. If she wasn’t back by the time I returned, I was going to go look for her myself. If anything, it was to stop Octavia from going off on her own. "Looking for me? Octavia was worried sick when she couldn’t find you last night. Where the hell did you go?"

"Bellamy Blake? They’re looking everywhere for you."

Fuck. The brunette had survived. I should have made sure she was dead before I stole from her. As Clarke, Finn, and the new girl lectured me, I noticed how unusually quiet Daisy was. She didn’t seem interested.

—

"It’s no use, it’s gone."

Daisy rolled her eyes at me, "That’s not a good leader’s attitude."

"Guess I’m not a good leader then. You’re really not going to ask why I did it?" I was curious.

"It’s not my business." She shrugged. When Daisy removed her jacket, I noticed how badly her stomach was bleeding. She must have burst her stitches open.

"Hey," Raven said, stepping closer to her. "Your bleeding is pretty bad."

I stood awkwardly trying not to listen to the two girls' interactions. It was clear they didn’t like each other. I just wanted Daisy out of the water before she passed out.

—

"Hey, have any of you seen Octavia?"

Clarke shook her head. "No, I mean...it’s Octavia. She’s probably chasing butterflies."

Daisy frowned at the comment. I imagined she didn’t like Clarke’s attitude either. I thought back to the conversation I overheard with Daisy and Finn earlier, and wondered if she was looking for my sister because she needed a shoulder to cry on. It wouldn’t have surprised me. I couldn’t believe she was sleeping with Finn while leaving the rest of us to worry about her.

1.07

"What the hell, Bellamy? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Your aim is off."

"Thanks." She rolled her eyes and turned back to face the tree. "Don’t you have anything better to do than sneak up on me?"

I probably shouldn’t have walked up to someone holding a deadly weapon without making my presence known beforehand. I couldn’t tell by her tone if she was mad at me as well. "Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things."

"Seriously Blake?" She scrunched up her nose, "A line like that might work on others, but not on me."

Daisy walked over to the tree and let out a whine when she pulled the knife out. I rushed over to her and grabbed her hand, concerned she’d cut herself on the knife's edge. I was relieved to see it was just a small splinter in her hand, "It’ll push itself out."

"I know that...I just can’t quit thinking about how painful it must have been for Finn."

I stared blankly at her. I couldn’t get my head around the fact that she cared for the spacewalker so much, especially when he took her for granted. It was obvious that she cared about him more than herself. Hell, she even burst her own stitches while having sex with him.

"You got stabbed in the stomach," I pointed out. She shrugged. Daisy hadn’t been able to look at me since we brought the grounder back to camp. "I’m not sorry we saved Finn, but I am sorry for what you saw me do."

"Are you ready to go?" Clarke asked, walking towards me. I nodded in response. She turned to face Daisy. "Daze, Finn was asking for you."

Of course he was. I was going to ask Daisy if she wanted to join us while looking for weapons, but I knew she’d never come with Finn wanting her attention. "You better go run off and find him then."

She smiled at us, "be safe out there."

As she walked away, Clarke stood beside me, saying, "You didn’t ask her, did you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Good question. "We are better off with just us two. She would have slowed us down."

Clarke leaned into me, "you know, that was a very fake smile she just gave us."

1.09

As we walked towards the gates, I noticed movement outside camp. We slowed down until we got a better look. Clarke suddenly ran over to the couple, "Daisy!"

On closer inspection I could see why she ran over to them. Daisy was violently throwing up. Clarke held her hair back while she continued to vomit. "What’s wrong with her? Is she the only one sick in camp?"

Finn shook his head, "She was just high for the first time."

"What?" I snapped.

Finn shrugged, "Yeah, most of the camp is high. They ate some bad nuts, I guess."

Clarke continued to rub Daisy’s back, saying, "Bellamy, I'm going to take Daze back to her tent, then I'll meet you in the drop-ship."

I frowned at Finn, who seemed to find the situation amusing. "Grounders are out here," his smile faded. "You’re just lucky you didn’t get her or yourself killed."

—

I noticed Daisy finally emerging from her tent. She looked slightly better than the night before, but still hellish. "Hey, you good?"

"Yeah, I’m good. Enjoying unity day?"

I pointed towards the rest of camp, "somebody needs to be sober while the rest have fun."

She chuckled, "Everyone deserves to have some fun, even you Blake."

She had a point, but my idea of fun would be different from hers. Although I found myself tired of sleeping with a different girl every night, they all bored me once the sex was over. "I’ll have fun when the grounders come."

"Dark as always," she laughed.

I smiled, "you look a lot better than when I last saw you."

The moment the words left my mouth, Daisy’s face turned red. I had accidentally embarrassed her. I gulped down before changing the subject, "What did you get arrested for anyway?"

I noticed she wasn’t listening to me by the way she was watching something else, "It’s Finn."

I tried my best not to groan. I honestly didn’t understand what was so special about bloody Finn. He had Raven, Daisy, and Clarke wrapped around his finger. I doubt he cared that much about any of them. Lost in my thoughts, I almost missed Daisy going to leave camp. "Where do you think you’re going?"

"To get Finn, he’ll get killed out there on his own."

"So could you." I paused for a moment before letting out a sigh of defeat. I could tell by the look on her face that she was going after him regardless of what I said. "I’ll come with you."

"No...Somebody needs to stay here in case the grounders do turn up. If I can’t see where he went past the tree-lines, I’ll come back."

I clenched my jaw with frustration. I didn’t like this one bit. "Fine. But if you are gone too long, I’m sending out a search party."

—

"Bellamy?"

"So much for staying in the tree lines," I frowned.

Daisy rolled her eyes as she pulled me into my tent. Was this really happening? Was she trying... "Whatever, look, Finn set up a meeting with the grounders to call a truce."

"He did what?" Finn had quickly gone from being a little annoying to a real pain in my ass. He was going to get himself killed. I just hoped when that happened he didn’t drag anybody else down with him.

"We spoke to Lincoln... the grounder who stabbed him. He’s going to set up a meeting between our people and his. Finn and Clarke are getting ready to leave."

I stepped closer to her so I could speak in a lower voice, "Why are you looking for me then?"

She seemed nervous the closer I got to her. Her lips parted slightly as she looked up at me. "I’m going to follow them, and you’re coming with me."

"Anyone ever told you that you have a bossy side?" I preferred the bossier side of her.

"We should wait five minutes," she answered, ignoring what I said. "Finn doesn’t know that we are following them."

"Why not?"

She knotted her fingers together, and looked down at the ground. I made a mental note to remember she did that when she was lying. "Because Lincoln told us not to take any weapons, and I don’t agree with him. But Finn does. We are going to be their backup."

I didn’t see the point in arguing with her when it was already happening. "Okay, I think we need one more person to come with us."

1.10

"Not now Finn, we don’t have time for this. The grounders are coming and arguing among ourselves is exactly what they want. " I watched Finn’s face twist with anger when Daisy butted in. I just hoped he was smart enough not to say anything back to her. "I’m going for a walk. You guys are giving me a headache. Murphy better be alive when I get back."

"Seems I’ve got a fan club starting in camp Bellamy. Who knows, maybe she likes me more than you." Murphy said before spitting out blood.

"Go float yourself."

"Happily," he scoffed. "But I don’t imagine angel eyes being too happy when she finds out you’ve killed me." Finn stormed out of the drop-ship, mostly likely to go look for Daisy. "Looks like I’ve upset her boyfriend. My bad."

"They aren’t together," I snapped.

A look of amusement spread across his face. Being covered in blood only made him look more sinister. "Ohh... I see what it is."

"What are you talking about?" I mentally slapped myself for even entertaining Murphy. I should just kill him before he hurts anybody else.

"You care for her... and she’s in love with spacewalker."

I glared at him, "Shut the fuck up."

"Don’t worry Bellamy, I’ll keep it our little secret. For now."

—

"Bellamy, you're sick, okay? I'm just trying to help. Here."

If it wasn’t for the fact that I was so weak, I would have flung Murphy across the room by now. "When I get better, if you're still here--" I frowned when I saw Daisy walking towards us. The last time I saw her, she was throwing up blood. "Why are you up? You should be resting."

"I’ve got this one Murphy," she smiled and took the cup from his hand. "Thanks for saving my life and all that."

When she sat down next to me, I noticed the way Murphy looked at her before leaving. "What are you now? His best friend? After-"

“Murphy is an ass," she cut me off. "But he never hurt me, and I believe in second chances."

I took a drink of water before she started wiping some of the blood off my face. Daisy suddenly stopped and squinted at me, "something you want to talk about?"

"You and Finn-" I was cut off by a loud noise from outside the ship. I sat up as Clarke ran into the room, "They did it."

"I became death, a destroyer of worlds. It's Oppenheimer, the man who built the first-"

"I know who Oppenheimer is."

"Who cares about him?" Daisy shrugged. "I want to know what the hell caused the explosion."

"Raven..." I glanced down at her. "I thought O told you? Raven and Finn went to blow up the bridge to slow the grounders down."

It was worrying that Daisy couldn’t remember. I was honestly surprised she was still alive by this point. Between being stabbed and catching the virus, I’d say she was very lucky to be with us. Daisy must have noticed me staring because she was frowning, "I’m sure they are fine."

Looking back out of the drop-ship, I sighed. We would need to wait to see if the grounders got scared off or not.

1.11

"Like that star of the waning summer who, beyond all stars, rises bathed in the ocean stream to glitter in brilliance." I saw Daisy sitting on her own again and thought I’d give her some company. "I thought your post finished hours ago?"

"It did," she shrugged. "I like being out here at night. The sky looks beautiful from down here."

I never would have guessed she would have enjoyed stargazing, this girl was full of surprises. "I suppose it does."

"You suppose? It’s the most amazing sight in the world. I honestly have no idea why people used to use drugs to live in a distorted reality, when the earth is just-" I could not help but smile at the way she talked about the sky. It was the first real conversation we had that didn’t involve anybody else. "What?"

"Nothing," I shook my head, smiling. "I’ve just never heard you talk so passionately about something that wasn’t to do with your friends."

"You don’t know me very well, Blake."

I knew much more than she thought. The girl with the scarred face was much more interesting than I first thought. "You're a good shot. We have the same taste in books, and you don’t know who Oppenheimer is."

"Touché, I’m guessing you’ve read the Iliad a few times then?" I nodded, "How do you know we have the same taste in books?"

"Octavia has mentioned it,” I lied. I had heard Monty and Daisy talking one night about books they liked to read on the ark, but I wasn’t going to admit I listened in on their conversation.

I noticed her shaking slightly. She was cold. I removed my jacket and placed it on her back. "Thanks..."

"No problem."

Sitting with Daisy was nice. It didn’t feel awkward when there was silence between us, although I wouldn’t have minded talking a little more. But I didn’t want to force her to spend time with me.

"So this Oppenheimer, who is he?"

—

"Bellamy!" I heard Daisy call out. Before I had a chance to finish getting dressed, she barged into my tent. "Bellamy I-"

"Daisy, what the hell happened?" I asked her. I stepped out in front of her when she tried to walk away. She was covered in blood and had an arrow sticking out of her leg. "Daisy, what happened out there?"

"Grounders attacked us."

Raven stepped out of my tent, "Finn... is..."

“Myles got hit with a few arrows. I don’t know if he’s dead or not. They took Clarke and Finn.I have no idea where they went."

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I didn’t miss the look of disgust on Daisy’s face or the way she pulled away from me when I reached out to her. I had no reason to feel guilty, but I did.

—

"I never told him."

I stopped when I reached the outside of Daisy’s tent. "Told who what?"

"I lied to Finn. I told him I tripped and fell, I’m only telling you so you don’t mention it later on."

I stepped back. We wouldn’t be ready to leave for a couple of minutes, so I didn’t need to interrupt them just yet. My opinion of Daisy was always changing. I thought she would have been a spoiled brat when I met her, and assumed she got her scar in a pointless fight, but now... now I know she was a good person. She lied for Raven even when it caused her so much pain. She would do anything for her friends, including Octavia. Maybe Murphy was right, maybe I was starting to care for her.

1.13

"Bellamy!" I looked up to see my sister barging into my tent. She looked worried. "I haven’t seen Daisy!"

"Okay," I shrugged. "She’s probably in her tent or the drop-ship. You know she can’t go far until her leg heals."

"She’s not there! I’ve checked with Jasper and Finn. Neither of them have seen her all day. I’ve checked everywhere bell!"

Shit. This was bad. People didn’t just disappear from camp. Unless the grounders take them, or worse. "When did you last see her?"

"She was going to Wells' grave. She had found some flowers to put down."

"Octavia, go get Clarke and meet me at the drop-ship in two minutes."

We didn’t have time for a search and rescue with the grounders closing in on us, but I was sure as hell not leaving Daisy out there to die.

[wonderswritings]

Fighting For... The Blood of Sanctum

Summary: We survived the end of the world, again. What used to separate us, now unites us. What was just supposed to be ten years asleep, turned into a hundred twenty five. Now we’re somewhere new, a planet with unknown variables. We’ve been fighting for so long, maybe this time we can settle down. Maybe this time, we don’t have to fight.

Warnings: The 100 Themes so blood and gore I guess

Pairings: Bellamy Blake x Fem!Reader, Clarke Griffin x Twin!Fem!Reader

Fighting For… Masterlist

S6 Masterlist

Previous // Next

Tags are Open!

We’ve reached the end! Not sure yet when season seven will get posted. I’m gonna take a break to work on my other stories and requests.

Previously:

“How do you feel?” “Peachy keen Josephine.”

“What happened? I thought- how?” “It’s a long story. Short version, Bellamy. But I’m okay.”

“It’s the flame.” “Sheidheda.”

“If she wakes up again, Sheidheda will kill her.”

“I knew it. Ryker didn't lose his nerve, he lost his life.”

“The rest of our friends are still in trouble, and we don’t have the people to fight our way through.” “We’re not here to fight. We’re here to liberate.”

“I’ll see you after, okay?” “I’ll see you after.”

“Your mother murdered her mother. Ironic, don’t you think?”

“It’s time to go.” “Go? Where?” “To space, of course. Sanctum has lost us. For now, anyway.”

“You killed her. All she did was help and you killed her.” “I’m proud of you, Murphy.” “Just so you know, Josephine called me John.”

“YN, Abby, what’re you doing?”

Indra shook her head, keeping her gaze on Gaia.

“That’s not YN and Abby.”

I nodded, grinning.

“Very good. Seems we got our nightblood despite what I’m told you did with Kane. Now, you have three seconds to stand down.”

“Or what? If you kill them, we kill you. You didn’t think this through.”

I rolled my eyes, turning the safety off my gun, pressing it into the back of Gaia’s head.

“One…”

Gaia nodded slightly at Indra, Indra clenching her jaw.

Two…”

“Weapons down, now.”

They all lowered their guns, placing them on the floor. I looked over at Russell, grinning.

“Told you. YN’s memories may suck, but they do come in handy.”

I held onto Gaia’s arm as we walked into the room, holding my gun to her head. Simone glared at Indra, Indra clenching her jaw as Simone took a step towards her.

“How many more of you are awake?”

“None.”

“Are you sure? We’ll sweep the ship. Anyone we find dies, and for each of them, so does one of you. Care to amend your answer?”

“No.”

Russell pushed Madi forward, turning her towards him, his gun in her face as he looked down at her.

“Ok. You’re their leader, so here’s the situation. We’re setting sail for planet Beta. It's a twenty year journey. You can take it with us peacefully in cryo…”

I undid the rope around Gaia’s wrists, turning so Russell and Simone couldn’t see me as I whispered.

“Save Madi. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Or you can die, today. We’ll give you an hour to decide.”

Russell pushed Madi forward as Raven, Gaia and Clarke walked forward, Madi pulling the gag out of her mouth, yelling.

“Jomp op!” (attack)

The men in front turned, attacking our guards as they opened fire, killing them. Simone rushed forward, aiming her gun at Madi, my eyes widening as I moved in front of her, blocking her as I stepped in front of Madi.

“No one gives orders here but us.”

She grinned as I reached up, slamming my hand into her face, knocking her out. I looked over at Clarke, Clarke nodding slightly as I turned back towards Russell and Simone.

“Let them rot.”

“Come on, we have things to discuss.”

Simmone turned as Russell looked the others over, nodding at me as I walked past him.

“Lock it up.”

“Devotion like that is dangerous. They obeyed her even though they knew that they would die.”

“Just wait. Planet Beta, Russel, we don’t even know if it’s survivable.”

“If it isn’t, we go for Gamma, then Delta, then Epsilon. We don’t even have to land to find out if it’s survivable. Assuming there are no other signal sucking anomalies, we can access the mind drives of the teams wirelessly from up here. Come on, we were explorers once, weren’t we?”

“Russell, I love you and I will go with you across the stars and back, but you’re right. That child is a problem.”

I made a face, tilting my head to the side.

“Oh for god’s sake, she has the blood.”

I grinned, glancing at Russell.

“In fact, dibs on her as my next host.”

“Simone, if we kill their leader, they will never follow us and we need those people to serve us unless you plan on cleaning latrines.”

“Fine. Then we kill her sleeping army because I promise you they are already talking about how to wake them. We brought enough mind wiping fluid to erase them in their sleep, where they’ll be perfectly preserved until one of us needs a new host.”

Miranda smiled, sighing softly.

“We’ll never even have to know them.”

Russell took a deep breath, nodding.

“Fine, but then it’s on to Beta. Agreed?”

Everyone nodded, Russell turning towards me.

“Josie, what say you?”

I shrugged, grinning.

“Are you kidding? It’s brilliant. A little genocide, a long nap. What the hell, let’s be explorers.”

I looked through the window in the door, looking the cryo chambers over. I took a deep breath, turning as I huffed a slight laugh.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but are we sure? I mean, it is the rest of the human race after all.”

“You sound like your father. Well, it’s bigger than the tank on Eligius lll, but this is where it goes.”

Simmone turned towards me, holding her hand out.

“Hand me the serum.”

I shook my head, sighing softly.

“Just wait. Are you feeling ok? You look pale. Have you had any nosebleeds or memory flashes that aren’t familiar?”

Simone grinned, slightly making a face.

“No. What are you talking about?”

Russell shot me a look, causing me to sigh as I looked up at him, slightly tilting my head to the side.

“Oh, it’s something I saw in YN’s mindspace. Her mother had the same neuromesh as she did. I thought they destroyed it with an emp, but-”

Russell nodded, looking down at me.

“They did. I examined her before resurrection. I wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice.”

“Josephine, give it to me.”

Simone smiled at me, reaching for the canister, causing me to take a step back as I covered the canister, Russell gasping.

“No. No.”

Tears formed in Russell’s eyes, shaking his head as I lifted my gun, aiming at Simone.

“Not Josie.”

I shook my head, stepping back.

“I can’t let you kill these people.”

I continued to walk backwards as I looked over at Russell.

“Believe it or not, I am sorry for your loss.”

I turned the corner, running down the hall. Simone clenched her jaw, turning towards Russell.

“Darling, listen to me. I’ll get the others and track YN’s mind drive. You get the child. We are gonna use her as leverage.”

I looked up when I heard footsteps, tightening the strap around my waist.

“Don’t move!”

I turned, grabbing the lever, shaking my head.

“That’s far enough. I set the inner door to stay open when I pull this, so you can put the guns down, or you can float.”

Simone stepped forward, yanking the gun from the Prime’s hand, aiming it at him as she stepped back towards me, causing me to gasp as tears formed in my eyes.

“You heard her. Weapons down now.”

I blinked the tears away, taking a deep breath.

“Mom?”

She turned towards me, nodding, smiling.

“Yes. It's me.”

“Simone, what are you doing?”

Simone aimed between the Primes, pulling the trigger. Jasmine’s eyes widened as she held her hands up, tossing her gun down to the floor.

“Ok, Ok. We’re doing it.”

Simone turned towards me, smiling at me as the others lowered their weapons.

“YN, I’ve been pretending too. Now let’s lock them up and go save Madi and your sister.”

She turned back towards the Prime’s, shaking her head.

“Don’t move. Keep your hands where I can see them.”

Tears were streaming down my face as I tightened my grip on the lever, watching Simone.

“What’s my father’s name?”

Simone said nothing, causing me to pull the lever as I sobbed. I grabbed the bar as the Primes were sucked out of the airlock, Simone grabbing me. My grip on the bar loosened, causing me to grab onto the strap as I looked down at Simone. Her eyes were wide as I sniffled, shaking my head.

“I’m so sorry mom. I love you.”

I pried her hands off me, Simone flying back. I turned, grabbing the strap, using the strap to pull myself towards the lever. I pushed the lever up, the doors closing. I groaned as I fell to the floor, turning onto my side as I sobbed.

“It wasn’t me.”

I walked through the doors, Raven making a face as the doors closed behind me.

“YN, how- how did you-”

“Shaw’s failsafe code.”

I looked around the room, making a face.

“Where’s Madi and Clarke?”

“Russell, Russell took them.”

I gasped, sobbing.

“Oh, no. No, no.”

Niylah caught me before I fell, holding onto me.

“We’ll get them back.”

I shook my head, sniffling as I looked up at Niylah.

“No. You don’t understand. I killed his family, and now he’s gonna kill mine.”

Gaia shook her head, standing up.

“I won’t let that happen.”

We turned when the doors opened, Madi and Russell walking in, followed by the guards, Clarke walking behind Russell. Indra clenched her jaw as they came to a stop, shaking her head.

“The demon awoke Wonkru.”

“Shofplei. Nila taim yu gaf kom raul.” (silence. kneel if you want to live)

Tears were in my eyes as I glanced at Clarke and then Madi, dropping to my knees. Russell clenched his jaw as Madi looked down at me, huffing.

“Lexa kom Trikru said you were strong, but you’re as weak as her. Your love has made you so.”

I reached behind me, pulling the gun out from under my shirt, placing it at my head, one of the guards, yelling.

“Gun!”

Russell clenched his jaw, shaking his head as he glared at me.

“Hold.”

“Madi, Madi I know you are in there. Please come back to me. Come back to me and Clarke. I- I lost my mother today.”

Clarke’s eyes widened, tears forming in her eyes as I shook my head.

“I can’t lose you and Clarke too. Please. I’m going to pull the trigger in three, two-”

Madi gasped, lifting her hand.

“Teik te Prim en kom maw.” (take the Prime and his men)

“Weapons down!”

I stood up as Madi ran towards me, wrapping her arms around me. Clarke ran forward, hugging the both of us as the grounders took the weapons from the Sanctum guards. I glared at Russell when Madi’s grip on me loosened, mine and Clarke’s eyes widening.

“Madi?”

“She’s seizing.”

“Get her upstairs!”

I picked Madi up, running behind Clarke as we rushed up the stairs, Clarke helping me lay Madi on the table. I stepped back as Jackson rushed forward, Clarke moving to the other side of Madi, running her hand down her face.

“Madi, Madi, I’m here. Listen to my voice. You can do this.”

I moved next to Clarke, taking Madi’s hand in mine.

“You have to fight, Madi. You have to fight!”

“Once more with feeling. Got him!”

“Why isn’t she waking up?”

“Her pulse is too weak.”

I wrapped my arm around Clarke as she sobbed, holding her to me.

“No, no, no.”

“Wait. I know what this is. We have to take it out like you did with me after the emp.”

Clarke jerked forward, her eyes wide.

“I need a blade.”

I turned, handing Clarke the scalpel. Clarke’s hand shook as she held the scalpel to Madi’s neck, causing me to hold my hand out. She offered me a small smile as I took the scalpel, cutting Madi’s neck.

“Forceps.”

Jackson handed me the forceps, Gaia gasping as I pulled the flame out, letting her take the flame. Jackson looked over at me, nodding.

“I’ll close.”

Madi’s eyes fluttered open, Clarke gasping as she smiled, hugging her.

“I’m here. You’re okay.”

“Ani?”

I nodded as Clarke leaned back, stepping next to her, smiling down at Madi.

“I’m here.”

She leaned forward, wrapping her arm around me. She buried her head in my neck, sniffling.

“I’m not the commander anymore.”

I nodded as Clarke grabbed my arm, offering me a small smile.

“Thank you.”

I nodded, all of us looking over at the computer when it dinged.

“Raven. Where did he go?”

“I’m sorry Clarke.”

Clarke shook her head, closing the distance between us, wrapping her arms around me.

“It wasn’t your fault YN.”

She leaned back, her hands on my arms as she offered me a small smile, wiping my tears that had fallen.

“I’m just glad I didn’t lose you both.”

I nodded, taking a deep breath, Clarke smiling lightly.

“Come on, let’s get you back to Bellamy.”

I sniffled, shaking my head as I laughed.

“Shut up.”

Clarke grinned as we joined the others, Madi rushing towards us. She grabbed our hands, offering us both a smile as she stood between us. We walked up the stairs that led to Sanctum, looking around at the destruction. The place was trashed, a row of dead bodies to the side. We walked around the pond, Madi tightening her grip on my hand. Miller and Jackson slammed into each other, hugging each other before they kissed as Raven hugged Murphy and Emori. Madi let me hand go as she hugged Echo, Clarke nodding at her as Bellamy walked towards us. I walked through the crowd towards him, his eyes widening slightly when he saw me. He ran towards me, wrapping his arms around me. I gasped a sob, Bellamy making a face as he leaned back, placing his hand on my cheek.

“YN?”

“I tried to do better. I did, and then I- I killed my mom.”

I shook my head as Bellamy wiped my tears.

“Tell me it was worth it. Tell- tell me it was worth it.”

He shook his head, leaning closer to me as he placed his other hand on my other cheek.

“Hey, hey. We did. We did do better. I have to believe that that matters.”

I sniffled, shaking my head.

“It doesn’t feel like it. I- I killed her and she thought- she thought I hated her.”

Bellamy wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest as I fisted his shirt, tears streaming down my face.

“Bell, I don’t- I don’t know what to do now.”

Bellamy tightened his grip on me, slightly leaning back, looking down at me.

“You come with me. Gabriel wants to look into the anomaly stone and Octavia’s tattoo. I said I’d be there, but only if you came with. I’m not leaving you, not again.”

I nodded, reaching up and wiping my tears.

“Then let's go.”

“Are you sure? We can stay. You just lost your mom, you cand Clarke both.”

“Which is why I want to leave. I can’t be here and look at Clarke knowing that it’s because of me that our mom’s gone. She may not hate me now, but she will, eventually. So we should go. Go and help Octavia.”

“Really?”

I nodded, sighing.

“Yeah. Besides, I need to talk to Octavia about something.”

He made a face, tilting his head to the side.

“What is it?”

“It happened in my mindspace. I need to ask Octavia about it.”

He nodded, reaching down for my hand, taking it in his.

“Then let’s go.”

“I have to tell you I’m very excited about this. I’ve been studying those symbols since we found the stone, we built the camp here because of it.”

Gabriel opened the hatch, climbing down the ladder. Echo and Octavia followed after him, Bellamy going down the ladder next, helping me down. My eyes widened as I gasped, looking the metal ball over as it floated.

“The tattoo.”

Gabriel walked towards the stone, Octavia following behind him.

“It’s thousands of years old. We have no idea who made it or what generates the magnetic field that holds it up, but we’re pretty sure it’s what sucks in all the radio signals.”

“Some of the symbols on her back are red. It’s a code.”

“Very good. We’re about to find out what it’s for.”

Gabriel turned towards Octavia, holding his hand out.

“May I see the drawing, please?”

She handed him the drawing, Gabriel unfolding it, looking between it and the stone.

“Moment of truth.”

“What happens if you’re right?”

“I filled a hundred notebooks with possible answers to that question.”

Gabriel turned towards Octavia, smiling when he found the last signal.

“The last symbol in the series is called an octonion. Advanced mathematics way above my head, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence you share a name. Please, it should be you.”

Octavia hesitated before she reached out, touching the symbol. It hummed softly, Gabriel’s face falling when nothing happened, shaking his head.

“No, no, no, no. It can’t be right. Let me see the tattoo again. Must have got something wrong.”

I shot Bellamy a look when the ground started to shake above us, Bellamy glancing at Gabriel.

“Quiet.”

There was a green light coming from the hatch, Gabriel dropping the drawing as he gasped.

“Oh my god. I knew it.”

He ran past us, climbing up the ladder. Octavia followed after him, me and Bellamy not far behind. I winced as the buzzing was louder, yelling.

“What the hell is this?”

“She’s here.”

I made a face as Octavia walked forward, a high pitched whine coming from the middle of the tent before a girl stepped forward.

“Hope?”

“I couldn’t get out of it. He has my mother. I’m so sorry Octavia.”

Hope closed the distance between them, hugging Octavia. Bellamy made a face, shaking his head.

“Octavia, what’s happening?”

Octavia whispered something in Hope’s ear, Hope stepping back, a knife coated in blood in her hands. Echo’s eyes widened as she yelled, stepping forward.

“Knife!”

Bellamy rushed forward when Octavia started to fall backwards, catching her before she fell.

“No! No!”

I rushed to them as Echo grabbed Hope, pushing her shirt up to reveal her stab wound. I made a face when there was another high pitched whine, a bright green cloud appearing, washing over all of us. I lowered my arm when the light subsided, my eyes widening as I looked at Bellamy’s now empty arms. Bellamy slowly looked up at me, his eyes wide as he looked down at his bloodied hand before he rushed past me and out of the tent.

“Octavia! Octavia!”

I followed after him, watching as he looked around, yelling for Octavia. Bellamy spun around in place, tears in his eyes before he dropped to the ground on his knees. I ran towards him, falling to my knees beside him as he sobbed, wrapping my arm around him and pulling him to me as he cried.

Likes are loved. Reblogs are gold. Comments feed me.

[osleyakomwonkru]

The 100 Fandom and Lack of Object Permanence

One thing I’ve noticed in this fandom is that fans - and often the writers too - fail to understand just how little time a lot of the characters have spent in each other’s presence. They assume much closer relationships between characters than is logical for the time they’ve spent together.

Now, yes, we often see them under stressful situations and stress brings people together in unique ways, but to really know someone you also need a variety of experiences - not just stressful murder-filled ones. Those less stressful situations, however, rarely make it to screen, or if they do it is just in short flashbacks, so people forget just how much time has passed off-screen.

Thus this post - a guide for fandom (and belatedly for the writers), who really need to learn how to understand object permanence - that is, the understanding that things (be they people, animals, inanimate objects, places, etc.) continue to exist even when they cannot be perceived (seen, touched, smelled, etc.).

Which is to say: We have spent seven years (give or take for when you got into the fandom) with these characters. But in most cases they have not spent that amount of time with each other. And when they have, it has mostly been off-screen, but this time is still important because it has major implications for how relationships between characters are and should be.

I’ve done the math on how much time characters have spent near each other, using the timeline on The 100’s Fandom wiki. Now, this doesn’t necessarily even mean they interacted each of these days, just that they were in the same places at the same times, so there was the potential for interaction.

“Day” is also flexible - sometimes they may have been present in the same place for the entire 24 hours, sometimes only a few minutes. This also omits the 125 years of cryo, because they were not conscious with the possibility of interaction. “Delinquent” in this context refers to those characters who were born in space who then inhabited the dropship camp in season 1 - that is, the 100 prisoners plus Bellamy and Raven.

I’m not going to get into every single pairing/grouping of characters, because that would take forever. But just some of the key ones.

Some of these results might shock you.

Octavia has spent more time with Echo than she has with Clarke.

Despite now being 33 years old (and thus the oldest Delinquent), Octavia has spent less than 7 years living in a society that contains more than two other people. The only living characters she’s spent more than ten years of her life with are Hope and Bellamy.

The longest continuously serving Earth/Earth-orbit-born leader since the Pilot has been Octavia, who ruled Wonkru for 6 years. It is possible that Jaha or Lexa might have had a longer period of rule overall, but the majority of it would have been before the Pilot episode.

Despite not appearing in a scene together between 3x15 and 6x02, nor being in the same locations at all from 3x15 to 5x13, Octavia and Raven have spent more time with each other than their combined total of days spent with Clarke. (That is, Octavia and Raven’s time together is more than Octavia’s time with Clarke PLUS Raven’s time with Clarke.)

Besides the Blake siblings and old married couple Monty and Harper, the two pairs of Delinquents who have spent the most time together are Octavia and Miller and Bellamy and Raven.

Bellamy and Clarke have only been in each other’s presence for 89 days. Given that Bellamy experienced no memory loss in either direction when traveling to/from Etherea and Bardo, this means that they must run at the same speed, and this means that Bellamy has spent more time with Doucette (sometimes known as Steve) than he has with Clarke.

Octavia and Murphy have only been in each other’s presence for 37 days, half of those in season 1 when Murphy was still the Camp Asshole, so Hope’s line about liking Murphy in 7x02 is pure fanservice because Octavia does not have the stories about Murphy as the Lovable Rogue that other characters do. It is also entirely possible that Octavia doesn’t even know Emori’s name, having only been in each other’s presence briefly in 3x16, 4x12, 5x12, 6x03 and 6x13.

If we accept as canon the deleted lines that Indra was the one to torture and infect Murphy in season 1, Murphy has spent almost as much time with Indra as he has with Octavia, and has exchanged more dialogue with her than he has with Octavia, who he hasn’t exchanged dialogue with since season 1.

Monty’s mistrust of Murphy in 4x13 might seem out of place, given what we’ve seen of Murphy’s growth over the previous two seasons, until you realize that save for a potential brief encounter during their shared time in Arkadia during 4x03, Monty hadn’t seen Murphy since season 1.

Murphy did not see a single Delinquent during the 112 days that passed from 2x11 to 3x06, until he met Clarke again in 3x07 and was in the presence of Bellamy, Octavia and Miller starting from 3x15. The only other main character he saw during that time was Jaha. These 112 days represent over half of the time (200 days) that the Delinquents spent on Earth prior to Praimfaya.

Jordan and Hope were born after Madi, but are older than her. They are also both older than every Delinquent character with the exception of Bellamy (29) and Octavia (33), being 26 and 25 years of age respectively, while the remaining delinquents (Clarke, Raven, Murphy, Miller) are 23/24.

The longest lasting romantic relationship between characters where both are still living is that between Miller and Jackson. Murphy and Emori come in second (because of their occasional on-again off-again situation, while we haven’t heard of the same being the case for Miller and Jackson).

Now, some might say that physical time together doesn’t matter in the face of fire-forged bonds and still “knowing” the other characters even if they aren’t physically present with each other. Now, to a point that could be true. However, what is also true - and the big point here - is that the more time characters spend apart from each other, the greater the chances that they build up their own versions of each other in their minds (and stories) rather than knowing who the real person is. This was especially the case in season 5 after what was a six year time jump for everybody, and it is coming back into play now in season 7 where the amount of time that has passed varies depending on character.

Will this ever be properly addressed? In canon, I doubt it. But maybe there can be some references to it, we can always hope.

[pretend-writer]

Down Below (Chapter 73)

Summary: After being sent down on Earth with the other prisoners from the Ark, Y/N Reyes faces series of events and learns about survival. With new things happening around her, she is now starting a new chapter in her life.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader

Word Count: 3.3k words

Warning: swearing, depression, mention of death

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

Raven, Murphy, Shaw and I decided to be our own search party to look for Octavia and Diyoza. It had only been a day or two since Bellamy had kicked them out but I was too worried about them.

'Look, it's like a double date now.' Raven grinned, 'This is so cute.'

'We should've done this after the actual date. Now Y/N and I are going to be dirty and sweaty.' John complained, searching around the woods. 'And what happened to waiting and relaxing?'

Throwing the stick out of my way, I sighed. 'I'm sorry John. I know how much it meant to you to keep calm but I started to worry about Octavia.'

'It's okay, I know how much she means to you. Let's just hurry and find her and Diyoza.'

Nodding in response, I turned my head left and right as I tried to find any signs or trails that may lead to Octavia and Diyoza.

'Oh... my...' Shaw whispered. Whatever he found didn’t sound like it was a good sign at all. Tailing from behind with John, I quickly tried to catch up but was distracted by Raven's sudden scream.

'No... this can't be real.' It was Octavia and Diyoza lying on the ground, slain from something or someone and we had no idea what was out here in the woods.

It was shocking to say the least, I didn’t prepare myself to see Octavia and Diyoza like this. It hurt to see my best friend like this, seeing as though they lost their lives helpless and scared.

Raven’s hands were covering her mouth, still trying to process the gruesome bodies that was laid in front of us. Shaw stood closer to her, trying to comfort Raven as he hugged her from her side. ‘What do you think did this?’

John huffed. 'I don't know but this isn't right. If Bellamy never banished them, this wouldn't have happened.'

'But I could've stopped this too.'

'This is not your fault.' Raven grabbed onto me, 'Bellamy did this. Now he's going to live with regret for the rest of his life.'

Kneeling next to Octavia's dead body, I cried into her chest. There was no way this was happening, I should've went and followed her. As a friend, I was supposed to be the one to take care of her especially when her brother wasn't the one to do it.

'No, no. This can't be happening...' I cried, trying to shake her awake. 'Octavia... Octavia.'

'Y/N, we don't know who or what did this. We need to go, NOW.' Raven pulled me up, holding me as I tried to resist her. I didn't want to leave Octavia and Diyoza here, there was also a part of me thinking that there was something I could do even though I knew they were dead.

'I can't leave her, I can't leave them here.'

John joined in with Raven, 'Y/N. Let's go!'

'No, no, I can't.' I repeated, still trying to resist even when both Raven and Murphy were slowly pulling me away from their bodies.

'Y/N!' My eyes shot open as I felt someone shaking me, quickly sitting up on the bed as I realized it was just a terrible nightmare. 'Y/N, are you alright?'

Clarke seemed worried, asking me repeatedly if I was okay. I nodded and replied back with a question. 'What are you doing here?'

'Passed by Murphy during breakfast and asked him if I can talk to you. He told me you were still asleep and that you probably wouldn't mind me waiting here.'

'Do you have to talk to me now? At this instant?' I scratched my temple, still trying to process the dream that felt so real. 'Also, I do mind so John doesn't know what he's talking about.'

'Well, sorry for wasting your time.' Clarke got up but before she left my room, I called her name.

'You came all the way here to wait until I woke up, it sounds like it's an emergency. So what do you want?'

She paused, contemplating on leaving but sat back down instead. 'I wanted to apologize for my actions and everything I've done in the past.'

I bit my lip, crossing my arms as I squinted my eyes. 'Is it so important that you had to do this now?'

'Yes, of course it's important. I don't want you to think that I did all of the things I did on purpose.'

'You went to apologize to Blake yesterday before the ceremony so you could've come to me then. Or days before that, when we woke up from cryo. Or maybe the day when you ditched everyone and sided with McCreary.'

'Okay, I'm late to come to you and I'm sorry. But considering the history we had, I needed to prepare my thoughts and what I wanted to say to you.'

The disagreements that Clarke and I had in the past were things that I held in for the longest, I was unable to get along with her after I realized what she was capable of.

'See, the thing is Clarke: I don't know if I want to hear what you're about to say. The constant things you've done in the past over and over shows how selfish you are.'

'I know... I know...' Clarke nodded, weirdly agreeing to what I was saying. 'I was especially not fair with you, you have every right to hate me. Yet, you still somewhat tolerate me or at least you try.'

'Because in the end, we had to work together. We were supposed to be one clan. We had no other support but each other.' I looked over at her, 'Then you just left us. Left Wonkru and your friends and decide to join hands with that monster.'

Clarke stared down at the floor, continuing to listen to me. 'I didn't care that you left me or Octavia. We were a mess, I know and we had no right to justify what was wrong or right. But you went to the one man that wanted us dead. You let all the people down.'

She nodded, taking everything in and having no excuses for her actions. I didn't think I'd see this side of her, or even have a decent conversation with her for that matter.

'I'm sorry about what my mom did to you, Y/N.' Clarke made eye contact with me, 'What she did down in the bunker.'

Quickly, I shifted my eyes as I suddenly felt vulnerable that Clarke knew the real truth. Clarke sat next to me on the bed, holding my hand. 'Now I know why you were you, the reason why you became Skafaiya. I'm really sorry.'

'It's not your fault.' I replied back, feeling a bit weird getting sympathy from the person that I didn't get along with. It was nice however, to try to make amends with her. 'Abby had her own shit she was dealing with.'

'She made that decision on her own, taking pills and hiding it from everyone including Kane. My mom didn't have to threaten you to kill those people.'

'What's done is done... but thank you for acknowledging it. Thank you for coming to talk to me.' I couldn't say I forgive her for the things she's done but we have all done things we weren't proud of.

The lesson I've learned after overcoming the darkness that I had to deal with all these years, was that mistakes come in different ways. What matters was that people acknowledge it and learn from it. Hopefully this time, Clarke shows that she changed.

'Thank you for listening to me with open ears.' Clarke smiled, scratching her head as she changed the subject. 'Uhm, there's a party tonight. Russell said something about celebrating Delilah on her final day, didn't really ask what that meant because I didn't want to pry. But anyways, I was going to ask if you were going.'

'Are you asking me to go with you?' I joked.

Clarke laughed, 'I'm sure I'm the last person you'd wanna go with. Besides, I heard about the date with Murphy so I was wondering if you two would make it.'

'Hopefully we can, can't turn free alcohol down.'

'Of course.' She got up and smiled. 'Would be nice if you can come. I'll see you later, Y/N.'

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

After a weird, rather friendly encounter I had with Clarke, I got ready to meet up with the rest of the people. John, Raven, Echo and Shaw were having breakfast together at the main area.

'You don't seem angry, must be a good sign.' Raven smiled at me as I took a seat next to Shaw. 'If you are upset, it's Murphy's fault. He's the one that sent Clarke to your room.'

Chuckling, I shook my head. 'I'm not upset. Matter of fact I think I needed that.'

It was refreshing to have a small talk with Clarke, all the unspoken words and bad energy we had between us was finally cleared up. It was nice to start over in a way, it'll be hard to forgive and forget at this moment but it was nice to move on from our issues.

'Look at you, growing up and maturing.' Murphy laughed from across the table. 'I'm proud of you.'

'Proud of me, huh? So am I expecting a "I'm proud of you, Y/N" present tonight on our date?'

'Ew, I don't want to know about all of that.' Raven crinkled her nose.

John's eyebrows raised. 'Ah, speaking of our date, let's do that tomorrow night instead. I want to take you to this dance tonight.'

Not going to lie, I was far more excited about this date with John than anticipated. It sucked that I wouldn't get to have a nice alone time with him but going to a dance didn't sound too bad.

On the other hand, I wanted to spend all the time we had now so that we could start checking what Sanctum was all about. I still didn't fully trust Russell and his people and it was about time that we figure out what was really going on.

Not to mention that awful nightmare that I had of Octavia and Diyoza still haunted me, I was curious of what was going on with them also.

'You look hesitant.'

'No, it's just that-' I stopped myself, not sure if it was a good idea to say what I felt out loud. I didn't want any reason to make anyone else paranoid as I was.

'It's okay, just tell me the truth Y/N.' John nodded.

Looking back at John, I sighed, feeling bad since I felt as thought I was always pulling up excuses. 'It's just these people are so sketchy and our people who are stuck in the ship needs a place to stay, you know? A-and Octavia and Diyoza are in trouble. I just feel it in my gut that I need to go save them.'

The four looked at each other and laughed, leaving me so confused. 'What's so funny?'

Echo shook her head, 'Murphy had discussed this before you came to the table.'

'Yup and I called all of this. You being hesitant to enjoy the time to yourself.' John smiled.

'I knew this would happen but I agree with you. These people... I can't seem to wrap my head around all of this.' Raven said.

Shaw agreed, 'I second that. Definitely something going on here.'

'No, it's not that I don't want to enjoy and relax. I just need t-'

'You don't need to do anything, Y/N.' John grabbed my hand. 'You think you always need to do something but you don't. You deserve a break, just this once be selfish and enjoy these two nights. It won't hurt anyone.'

'And worse comes to worse, we'd let Clarke and Bellamy do everything. You just hang out with Murphy.' Raven grinned, 'I'm also here too so don't worry about it.'

It was nice that my friends were supportive of me but it was hard to switch everything off. I always want the best for everyone, since the day we were sent down here my brain was in full survival mode. We've lost so many people, I want to be the help to make sure we don't lose people anymore.

'Come on, it's just two nights. We'll be alright.' John squeezed my hand, reassuring me as he looked me in my eyes.

'You're supposed to meet your new best friend, Clarke at the dance too.' Raven joked, 'Now you really have to go.'

'Fine, fine but only if we all go.' I looked over at Echo, smiling at her. 'All of us.'

Shaw clapped, grinning widely as he hugged Raven. 'Deal, let's get wasted!'

It was nice to see everyone smiling and enjoying peace for a change. There was nothing to worry about; no intruders, no group of people that was trying to kidnap or kill us, no death of our loved ones. We were just simply living. Maybe enjoying myself for a little bit won't be bad at all.

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

'Look, Clarke and that dude are eye humping each other.' Murphy gestured the direction with his head, smiling and sipping on his drink.

Clarke looked at our direction, then did a double take as she noticed we were staring at her. She waved and shooed us to stop looking at her.

'How cute.' Echo said then faced the other way. 'Then there's Raven and Shaw over there on the dance floor.'

'Love is in the air.' I joked, almost everyone was paired up with someone. It was nice seeing everyone happy, really drunk and happy.

Murphy chuckled. 'More like lust. See, now Clarke is walking away with that dude. We all know what that means.'

Raven rushed towards us, giggling and smiling as she was drunk. It was surprising, in fact I probably haven't seen her so wasted before. 'Murphy! Come dance with me!'

'Oh, no no. For one I don't dance, you should know that Raven. And second, I don't want you and Shaw's love juice all over me.'

'Come on, Murphy! You danced with Y/N when we were at the Ark, why won't you dance with me?' Raven whined, trying to pull him off of his seat.

He chuckled, 'That was because Y/N had to bribe me. I also can't resist when it's her that asks.'

'Aw, just go dance with her!' I nudged John, 'It's one dance. How bad can it be?'

Groaning dramatically, he got up and took Raven's hand. 'You owe me big time. Both of you Reyes' are stubborn as hell.'

As they walked away into the dance floor, Echo giggled. 'I've never seen Raven so drunk before. Is she always like that?'

'Ha, you're telling me. She's my sister and I've never seen her this loose either. It's kind of weird, actually.'

'We didn't really have alcohol up at The Ring, we had to act silly and pretend we were drunk.' Echo continued to laugh and looked my way, quickly apologizing. 'Ah, shit. I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean-'

'What's there to apologize for?'

'Well, I know what you've been through while we were up there.'

It was nice to see that Echo acknowledged the pain I went through, but none of that was her fault. I didn't want her to think that she didn't have to cherish the life she had up there because of me. 'You had your life, I had mine. There's no reason to apologize for that.'

'But I do have to apologize about Bellamy though.'

'No, Ech-'

'Y/N, I do. I want to.' It was hard for me to let go of my ex-boyfriend, someone that I loved and cared so dearly for a long, long time. I didn't want constant reminders of that, but I wanted to give Echo a chance.

Nodding my head, I decided to listen to what she had to say. Worse case, I'd just drink my night away and pretend nothing happened.

'Back at The Ring, it was difficult for him. Bellamy didn't know if you made it out of surgery alive and before Raven flew us up to the Ark, the radiation cut off our connection with the Bunker. Him and Octavia barely said goodbye to each other, before that she had told him it was less likely you'd make it.'

'You were in critical condition when you made it to the hatch, you weren't breathing and the only reason why Abby noticed that you were up there was because the knocking on the hatch suddenly stopped. That was the last thing Bellamy heard about you, that you were practically dead when Jackson and Abby took you in.'

'Raven, Monty, Harper, they all tried to keep him in a positive state. Telling him that you were strong and that you made it out of surgery well. He didn't know what to believe, all he knew was it was Emori and my fault that you couldn't come to the lab in the first place. That's when everything started, he was in a very dark place Y/N.'

It made me sad that Bellamy had suffered through his own pain, not realizing that he was as hurt as I was. The worse part of all of this was that he couldn't trust me or felt safe enough to talk to me about it.

'I'm not excusing what he did or what I did, it wasn't right at all. I just hope that you understand that Bellamy was going through shit too. It got worse when he found out Murphy still loved you, that he broke up with Emori because of his feelings towards you.'

'He lost hope for everything, thought he had to move on but didn't know how. Wanted to believe that you were still alive but in the back of his head, having the thought of you and Murphy too. I know it's hard to understand but he isolated himself for a long time and he only talked to me, as weird as it was knowing that he hated me at first.'

I took Echo's hand, giving her a reassuring smile. 'Despite what happened to me and Bellamy now, thank you for being the friend that he needed through all of that.'

She started to shed tears, nodding her head as she squeezed my hands. 'I-I'm so sorry, Y/N. For everything. Leaving you to die on the cliff, the Priamfaya, about Bellam-.'

'It's okay, Echo.'

'No, no it's not. Please know that I'm deeply sorry for everything.'

We were in the middle of a dance party, crying our eyes out; the thought of us looking sad and depressed suddenly made me laugh. Confused, Echo cocked her head.

Wiping my tears, I shook my head. 'I'm sorry, it's that everyone is drunk and practically humping each other and it was just funny in my head.'

Echo broke out in laughter, sniffling and wiping her cheeks. She then got up and took her hand out. 'Let's get drunk and dry our tears away.'

'I love the sound of that.' I smiled, grabbing her hand and following into the crowd. Walking towards the bar, I saw Bellamy talking to Emori, Jordan and a few of the people from Sanctum.

He lifted his head, meeting his eyes with mine but not knowing how to react as he realized I was looking at his direction. Awkwardly, he gave a wave, acknowledging this weird moment.

I couldn't help but feel sad, it hurt me so much that Bellamy felt so depressed while he was at the Ring. I wish that I was there to take his pain away, the last six year that he struggled.

Echo was right, I couldn't justify what he had done to me but knowing the whole truth shed me a light on things that were so confusing.

Perhaps this would be the start of clarifying everything from our last six years we were apart, maybe we could be best friends again.

Maybe this time around, I can finally get the answer to everything.

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [99]

xv. the dying of the light 

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 6.0k

Warnings: language, mentions of blood, angst, Cadogan is a piece of shit, anxiety, fighting, death, just some very sad, very heavy stuff.

Summary: bellamy is gone, gabriel is gone, and now madi has disappeared. desperation rises as you all race to save madi before she too is taken from you.

a/n: sorry, but my brain is struggling to process that this is number 99!!!!! i swear i just posted episode 1 like last week? how is this possible? the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

The first thing you realize is that Miller saved all of your lives with his quick thinking. You turn and meet his gaze, grateful that he was fast enough to get the bomb behind one of the solid doors. “Thank you.”

He nods in acknowledgment, before another soft rumble settles through the room, and the door the bomb is behind starts to groan softly. Which brings you to the second realization, that in saving all of your lives, Miller possibly doomed the others. Because the door he threw the bomb behind is the door that leads to the rest of the bunker. It’s the door that leads to the stone, in the rec room with Jackson, Murphy, Emori, and Raven. 

Miller immediately pries the door in question off the hinges with one of the spears from the arena, revealing a doorway of stacked concrete, confirming what you already knew. The others are trapped down below, and the rest of you are trapped up here. You have access to the outside, but no way to reach the stone or the rest of your friends. You turn to look at Clarke, seeking out her counsel, despite still being angry with her. She gives you a desperate look, before a look of realization passes over her face. “We can still get to Madi.”

She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small vial, three blue pills inside. You recognize them immediately as nano trackers, likely brought over by Sheidheda, the same ones Cadogan used to leave the bunker. Clarke unscrews the bottle and immediately dumps one out, preparing to swallow it, but Gaia closes the space between them and stops her hand from dropping the pill into her mouth. “Clarke, we have to think this through.”

“Gaia's right. Only the second pill’s for me.” Clarke looks over at you in surprise, not expecting you to take her side after what she did. But she killed Bellamy to protect Madi, and if something happens to Madi, then Bellamy and Gabriel died for nothing. All of it was for nothing. You refuse to let their deaths be in vain, which is why you hold your hand out for one of the pills, and Clarke quickly passes one to you. Behind you, Octavia speaks up, moving closer to you and Clarke. “We're gonna need an inside man.”

You both understand her statement for what it is: an offer to go with the two of you, so Clarke hands Octavia the third and final pill. All of you swallow them, one after the next, Octavia the last to do so, and you stand staring at each other, waiting to instantly disappear the way that Cadogan did. 

Except, you don’t.

The three of you stay firmly in place, looking at each other in absolute confusion. “Cadogan disappeared right away.”

“Why isn't this working?”

Hope answers you and Clarke both, shrugging a little as she does. “Maybe somebody has to be waiting in Bardo to pull you through.”

A strange look passes over Clarke’s face, half anger, half amusement, before settling into one of determination. She crosses the room in three strides, stopping at the door to the rest of the bunker, clamping her hands down on the first piece of stone she sees. She pulls, letting out a cry of effort as she does, the concrete moving nowhere. She tries again, her hands slipping off the stone, likely scratching her the way they did when the two of you tried to dig to this very same bunker, and you shake your head before moving towards her. “Clarke.”

She doesn’t turn around, determinedly yanking at the stones and sliding off them, making no progress, going nowhere, but still trying nonetheless. “We have to get to Madi! Cadogan could be digging into her brain right now.”

You reach out for her, grabbing her arm and spinning her towards you. “Clarke! We spent days trying to dig our way to the bunker before we nearly died in that collapse, and this is no different. You’re gonna dislodge a stone and get yourself killed if you keep this up, and you’re no use to Madi if you’re dead.”

She sets her jaw, and you think she’s about to start a fight with you before her eyes drop and her gaze softens. “Your shoulder.”

You peer down at your shoulder and the blood staining your shirt, the wound from Sheidheda still bleeding, the pain forgotten to you in the chaos of everything that’s happened since then. “It’s nothing.”

You try to shrug her off, stepping away from her, not wanting her comfort or her help, but she reaches out to grab your arm, her hand closing around one of the cuts on your forearm. She can feel the wetness on her hand as soon as she grabs you, and she immediately lets go of you and looks at you in alarm. “La lune!”

She grabs your hand and turns your arm over, eyes scanning the cuts on both of your forearms. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I honestly can't feel it. Adrenaline and all that.”

“Come here.” She tries to pull you to the side, and you don’t budge at first, but she gives you one of those looks that lets you know this is not negotiable, because your own words apply to you in this moment. You’re no good to Madi dead, and bleeding to death because you’re mad at Clarke is not the way to go. So when she tugs you to the side a second time, you let her, and she motions for you to sit across from her as she tears strips of cloth from the bottom of her shirt. The tension between the two of you temporarily melts away as she ties makeshift bandages around your forearms and shoulder, your access to real bandages nonexistent. You sit quietly as she fixes you up the best she can, before she finally breaks the silence to whisper, “I’m sorry about Bellamy, I swear I am. I didn’t want to do it, but I had to, to protect Madi. You can hate me forever, la lune, I’ll understand.”

You sit in silence for a second, weighing her words, and you can tell from the anguish in her voice that she means it. But that doesn't erase all of your feelings instantly, as much as you wish it did. You wish you could erase the hurt and the grief and the anger, but you can’t. It’s still raw and open, weighing on you at every moment. “Clarke, you’re my shining star. You’re a part of me. I understand why you did what you did, and I understand why you feel like it was the only choice. But that doesn't change the fact that Bellamy is dead and you pulled the trigger. I don't hate you, I don't think I ever could, but I don't forgive you either, at least not yet. Hopefully one day I’ll forgive you and we can move past this, but right now, I'm too damn hurt and angry.”

She nods her head, looking up at you with tears in her eyes. “I understand. If it helps, I regret it. I don't think I’d do it again, especially if I knew that Madi was just gonna turn herself in despite everything.”

You say nothing for a long second, your voice a soft whisper, cracking with emotion when you say, “I just wish I could have said goodbye. I gave him back the ring, you know, and he died thinking I didn't love him, but I do. I love him with my whole heart, my entire being. He’s my soulmate, and he died thinking that I hate him.”

You feel your bottom lip quiver before tears start to spill down your face, and you see tears in Clarke’s eyes before she pulls you in for a hug, holding you as you cry for Bellamy. And in this moment, you allow yourself to forget what happened to him, focusing only on the fact that he’s gone. You allow your twin to comfort you, hold you close, softly humming Clair de lune in your ear until you start to calm down again. And even after the two of you break apart, you stay side by side, unable to leave each other’s side, even now, when everything between you is tense and weird.

Indra is the first to break the silence and tension hanging over the room. “We should discuss the plan. Clarke, la lune, and Octavia bring us over. We get Madi and kill their leader.”

Gaia jumps down from the perch she was on, walking towards her mother. “Killing Cadogan won't change anything.”

“He can't chase us if he's dead.”

She shakes her head at Indra trying to get her to understand. “You've seen faith, Mother. You kill the Commander, another takes her place. You kill the Fleimkepa, another takes his place. Faith doesn't just die, it gets carried forward. Cadogan's people are no different.”

Miller asks the question that you’re all beginning to wonder. “Then how does this end?”

“Bellamy asked that question, too.” You all look towards Octavia, the mood sobering even further at the mention of Bellamy. “One Last War, and then we transcend and we become the light.”

Across the room, Jordan breaks his silence. “It's a beautiful idea, but fighting is not how we get there. War is a failure of everything. Which is why it's a test, not a war.”

“Test, war, test, war. The disciples have been studying the Bardo texts for over 1,000 years. You really think you know better?”

Jordan turns to Hope, answering her question with complete confidence. “Yes. And it's not just that I read some old books, I felt it. That red sun toxin showed me something. I couldn't figure it out, but I knew it was important, and then I read the Bardo texts, and it hit me... the next step in human evolution.”

You can feel Clarke going more restless with each passing second, until she abruptly stands and snaps, “Nonsense.”

Everyone turns to face her after the outburst, but she avoids everyone’s eyes as she stalks up the ramp towards the exit. “All that matters now is saving Madi and killing Cadogan. There's no Last War or test. Bellamy's dead because he believed that crap, and I've heard enough!”

You look after her retreating figure, wondering if you should go after her. Everything between the two of you is weird, and your anger is telling you to stay, bristling at the casual way she mentioned Bellamy’s death. But your softer side, the part of you that’s connected to her, it’s telling you to go after her, comfort her, despite what she did. Gaia seems to sense your conflict, because she steps towards you with a smile and whispers, “I got it.”

You nod in thanks, relieved that you don’t have to decide, before sitting back down and beginning the excruciating process of waiting once more. You’re quickly realizing that there’s nothing you hate more than waiting: waiting to fight, waiting to escape, waiting to die. Because waiting is usually silent, and that silence easily morphs into your regrets, and fears, and worries. It’s when you think about everything you've done wrong and everything you haven't yet gotten the chance to do. There’s time to think of who you’ve killed and who you’ve lost, which opens up the door to the painful memories that usually stay locked deep in your brain, in that place you try to keep hidden from everyone, including yourself. 

Waiting is suffocating, and in the time you’ve spent on Earth, Sanctum, Skyring, and Bardo, you’ve already done too much of it. 

You stand, starting to pace around the rotunda, the way Bellamy used to pace when he first got back from space. The same habit he turned to when he had to wait. And as your feet move you around the room in continuous circles, you start to understand. It’s rhythmic, the way your feet carry you across the floor, boots thudding softly against the metal, and each time you walk past Hope, the thuds stutter, your footsteps softened by an uneven spot on the floor. 

As you pace around the room, you force your mind to stay on the safe topics. The ones that don't involve painful memories or the ghosts that seem to stalk you. Instead, you keep things light, reciting constellations and medicinal plants, anything to keep your mind occupied. A few times you slip up, your thoughts drifting to what Bellamy was thinking in his final moments, as he bled out on Sanctum alone. You start to worry about Madi and what she’s going through without you, cursing yourself for not getting to her sooner and stopping her from leaving. You think about Gabriel and his final words to you, what they meant... You shake your head, clearing the spiral of memories and grief, shifting back to your safe topics, ignoring the thoughts that are begging to pull you down.

You only pause your pacing once, when Clarke and Gaia come out of the decontamination room and take up a spot on the ramp, sitting across from each other cross legged, Gaia talking to your twin softly. You resume your pacing, glancing at them every few minutes, realizing that Gaia must be teaching Clarke to calm her mind the way she taught Madi to. 

But Clarke’s peace is short lived, and within minutes she’s standing, her voice rising as she glares down at Gaia. “How do you expect me to focus right now when my daughter is out there, probably being tortured right now?”

“You think I don't know that?” Gaia stands abruptly, and you pause your pacing to watch them. She gives Clarke an anguished look, her voice dropping slightly when she adds, “I love her too, Clarke.”

A look of sympathy passes over Clarke’s face before she reaches out and pulls the former Flamekeeper into a hug. “I know, I know, I'm sorry.”

You’re about to start pacing again, the conflict seemingly resolved, when you catch a glimpse of green around Clarke. She pulls away from Gaia, her hands starting to disappear, and she turns to look at you with a smile. “It's working.”

Clarke disappears in a haze of emerald, leaving you to turn and look at Octavia, “I’m next.”

Miller yells out to you, “La lune, catch!”

You turn towards him, catching the pistol he tosses your way, seconds before you too fade away from the bunker. All around you, the world is green, bright and hazy, until it fades into a darker hue. It takes a second for you to realize that you’re not in the Stone Room, but in the oxygen farm, surrounded by an army of disciples, all of them pointing weapons right at you and Clarke. You raise the pistol that Miller tossed to you, you and Clarke aiming back at the disciples, and Octavia appears a second later, instantly lifting her rifle.

A disciple near the font of the armed group looks towards you and loudly yells, “Drop your weapons! Hands in the air!”

Octavia drops her weapon first, lifting her hands in surrender, and you and Clarke exchange a look before you both follow suit. Despite not wanting to surrender to the disciples, you both know you have no choice, and if you choose to take a stand here, it will only result in the three of you ending up dead. So you both drop your weapons and lift your hands in the air, following the commands of the disciples as they close in on you. The three of you are restrained and led past the waiting army, through the oxygen farm and the halls of Bardo until you’re delivered to a cell.

They release all three of you in one room, and you stand there for a minute, stunned by what just happened. “Why did we show up in the oxygen farm?”

Clarke shakes her head, “I don't know. But they’re preparing for a war, which means they have Madi and she’s in trouble.”

She plops down onto the nearest bed in frustration, dropping her head into her hands before she starts to softly cry. Octavia sits down beside her, offering her comfort, the moment soon overshadowed by someone singing. And not just someone, Sheidheda. He sings the Grounder Anthem, “Take a Life With Me”, over and over on a loop, until there is no sadness left in your prison cell, only frustration. 

You take up pacing again as nothing you do drowns out the awful, annoying sound, which continues repeatedly, until you’re sure you’re about to lose your mind. You can sense Clarke growing tense too, her body starting to fidget more and more until she finally yells out, “Shut up!”

But Sheidheda doesn't shut up, he just keeps singing without a care in the world. Clarke looks at you with worry and frustration, her eyes wide, her nerves frazzled. “We did all that just to end up back here, locked up in a cell next to Sheidheda.”

“We'll get Madi back.” You don’t say anything beyond that, your anger at her now back in full force now that you’re back in Bardo, but you do let out a sigh, frustrated that your emotions are so all over the place. You wonder what Anders would say about you now, watching you pace the room like a caged animal, angry and frustrated and ready to destroy Bardo if you have to.

You’re pulled back to the present by Clarke sighing loudly, looking doubtful about your assurance of finding Madi, which Octavia notices. She puts a hand on Clarke’s knee, whose gaze shifts over to the younger Blake. “Think about it: someone brought us here. That means we have help on the inside, it's just a matter of time.”

Clarke nods, contemplating her words, realizing the truth to them, and she’s quiet for a moment before whispering, “Thank you.”

Something about her tone makes you pause, and you stop in front of her as Clarke’s gaze shifts between you and Octavia. “Both of you. Thank you for offering to come.”

Octavia answers first, “I told you I get it now, what she means to you. It's what Hope means to me.”

“It's what we meant to Bellamy.” Clarke and Octavia look towards you, the mood dampening the way it does when you all remember that Bellamy is gone, for real this time. You’re surprised you even said it, and you have to fight against the tears that are threatening to rise, glancing between the two women you call sister. “We were everything to him.”

Octavia whispers, “That's how I'll remember him.”

Clarke reaches out to grab your hand and you let her, before she reaches for Octavia’s hand too, the three of you sitting together as a small human chain, mourning the loss of Bellamy. And as the three of you mourn, tears streaming down your faces, the door to your cell opens. Clarke and Octavia stand beside you and turn to see Levitt hovering near the entrance, smiling at Octavia. She moves towards him, and as the pair hugs, you get a flash of disappointment. Part of you hoped that it would be Bellamy here to save you, despite seeing his body bleeding out on the palace floor in Sanctum. Something you remind yourself of as Clarke mutters, “Hate to interrupt, but we need to get to Madi. What’s the plan?”

Levitt and Octavia pull apart, and he looks between the three of you, growing anxious. “I don't know. Isn't this your guys' specialty? How would you do it?”

Octavia thinks for a second and then says, “Use the suits, go invisible.”

“No, that won't work. Too many disciples with helmets around.”

Clarke shrugs, “Then we come in hot, and we take them all out.”

You shake your head, instantly disagreeing. If the disciples are preparing for a war, then Clarke’s right. Madi is in danger now. You have no doubt that you, Clarke, and Octavia could come in and take the disciples out with ease, but how long will that give you? Five minutes? Ten? It’s loud and it’s messy, and it’ll put a target on your backs. You need a distraction, something to pull the disciples away from M-Cap, giving the four of you time to find Madi and get her to safety. You search your brain for a different plan, struggling to come up with anything, thanks to Sheidheda’s obnoxious singing. 

And that’s when it comes to you. 

You look between the three of them, smiling, pointing to the room next door. “Or we create a distraction.”

Realization passes over each of their faces, and you know you’re all on the same page. “Good idea.” 

Levitt heads to the door of your cell and reaches for a bag that he left behind, tossing each of you a gun before leading you from your room and to the next cell over. He quickly pulls the door scanner from the wall, attaching a few wires to a tablet from his bag and typing in a code. He removes the tablet and tucks it away before reattaching the scanner and pushing the button. The door to Sheidheda’s cell slides open, and you, Clarke, and Octavia go in weapons hot, aiming directly at the man in the room. He stops singing when he hears your entrance, turning slowly to look at the three of you glaring in anger, Levitt waiting just behind you. “Well, since no one's shooting, I suppose that means you need me.”

He laughs a little and stands to his feet, musing, “What would Madi think?”

Clarke lowers her gun and lunges at him, intending to hit him, but you reach out and grab her arm to stop her. “Clarke!”

Sheidheda laughs, looking you over, taking in your bandages and the blood that’s still on your face, a mix of Gabriel’s and your own. “I got the doctor good, didn't I? Tell me, did he make it?”

And this time, it’s your turn to lunge, dropping Clarke’s arm and reaching for the man, seeing only red, your anger raw with grief. But Octavia grabs you, pulling you back, yelling out, “That’s enough, all of you! We need to stop Cadogan.”

You take a breath, calming yourself, aware that you need the man in front of you to save your niece and stop Cadogan from winning. Which means, for now, you’ll play alongside him. But if he makes it out of here and you get the chance, you’ll kill him for what he did to Gabriel and Madi. 

Sheidheda shrugs at Octavia’s words, growling a little, “I tried, and for my troubles, they locked me up here.”

Clarke doesn't care, blowing past his complaint to snap, “Here's the deal. I'd love to kill you, but you're right, we need you. We set you loose, and you draw the disciples away from M-Cap.”

“I'm not some petty distraction. I'm the high king of Sanctum.”

You roll your eyes, “Okay, Your Highness. Then we walk out of here and lock the door behind us.”

He sneers at you, giving you an annoyed smile. “Hmm, distraction it is.”

You motion towards the door with your gun. “Then let’s go.”

Levitt leads the way to M-Cap, the rest of you keeping your guns trained on Sheidheda, but you stop when you reach the last few hallways to your destination. You can hear people nearby, likely standing guard or prepping for the war, and you motion towards Sheidheda as you all duck out of sight. He smiles before he steps away, and you can hear the moment he catches sight of the disciples. “Attention, sheep. I'm here to kill your Shepherd.”

You can hear one of the guards yelling commands, followed immediately by the sounds of fighting. Gunshots ring out in the air, accented by screams of pain, but you all stay hidden in a nearby corridor until the sounds grow fainter and fainter, Sheidheda clearing the halls ahead of you. Once you hear no more fighting, you tentatively slip from your hiding spot and walk down the hall, rounding the corner to find blood splashed along the walls and dead bodies scattered everywhere. You shake your head at the violent scene in front of you, thinking that surely Sheidheda didn’t need to be so brutal. Still, he got the job done, because there’s no one in sight to stop your approach.

Unfortunately, there is also no sign of Sheidheda. “He's not here?”

Clarke turns to look back at Octavia. “We knew that was a possibility, we'll deal with Sheidheda later.”

Levitt looks around at the bodies littering the floor, carefully stepping around dark red puddles of blood, his voice horrified when he whispers, “I grew up with these people.”

“That's war, Levitt.” Octavia turns to glance at him, offering him no sympathy for the horror he’s experiencing. “It looks exciting in hologram mode, but this is the reality.”

Clarke shakes her head, grabbing a few grenades as she walks past the bodies, barely glancing back at the couple as she continues on her way. “Come on. Right now, all that matters is getting to Madi.”

You all follow her down the halls towards M-Cap, your guns raised, ready for a fight with each new hallway you turn down. But you find no one, this section of Bardo completely empty, everyone gone in pursuit of Sheidheda. “Looks like our diversion worked.”

As you reach the door to M-Cap, Clarke nods towards it. “Levitt, you go in first. They won't see you as a threat.”

He nods, and Octavia quickly pushes the button to the room, and as the door slides open, you all get into position and step inside behind Levitt. The first thing you notice is that someone is humming, the tune comforting and familiar. The second thing you notice is Madi, sprawled out in the M-Cap chair, someone’s arms around her. And when that someone looks up, you swear you’re dreaming. 

Because it looks like Bellamy.

“Bellamy?” You freeze in place, the gun in your hand clattering to the floor as you stare at him in shock. He looks up at all of you, his expression surprised, clearly not expecting to see you here. He’s out of the white robes and into a white top and bottom combo, the same thing that Gabriel used to wear, and you’re relieved to see no blood on his clothes. He looks a little tired, and his curly hair is unruly, flopped all over the place, but he looks fine. Healthy even, no sign that he was recently dead. 

Clarke seemingly breezes past the fact that Bellamy is alive and well, her gaze solely focused on Madi, and he releases his hold on her to allow Clarke the room to take over. He stands, looking at you closely, his expression blank for a moment, and you worry that he’s even more brainwashed than the last time you saw him. But then his expression morphs into one of relief, and he steps around the M-Cap chair to walk towards you. “La lune.”

His voice is warm and thick with affection and emotion, and you start to run towards him, tears welling up in your eyes as he jogs towards you. He meets you halfway across the room, scooping you up in his arms and spinning you once, before putting your feet firmly back on the ground, his arms holding you tight. He tucks his head into the crook of your neck, and you can hear him crying as he whispers, “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. I should have never betrayed you. I should’ve listened to you.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You pull away to look at him, tears running down his face and your own, and you whisper, “I love you. Oh my god, I love you, and I'm sorry I left you. I didn't want to, but-”

He cuts you off, “No, you were right to leave me. And you were right about Cadogan.”

It’s like the words remind him of something, and he turns to look at the others. “Levitt, something is wrong with Madi. Cadogan did something to her.”

You all turn to look at him in shock. “What?”

Levitt immediately crosses the room to grab the glasses that the disciples use for M-Cap, and for the first time since grabbing her, Clarke pulls away from Madi, realizing that Bellamy’s right, something is wrong with her. You miss the reunion between the Blake siblings as you rush over to your niece, though you can hear them quietly talking behind you. You look down at Madi in horror, catching onto what Bellamy meant. Madi’s eyes are open, but her expression and her eyes are blank, no sign of recognition in either of them. Her heartbeat is strong, but her body is limp, moving only when one of you moves her. 

Clarke looks at you with tears in her eyes, and you feel tears in your own, both of you starting to cry as Clarke turns her teary expression back to Madi. “Madi, look at me. Say something. Please say something.”

Madi remains frozen, and Clarke lets out a panicked yell, “Say something!”

But still, Madi doesn't move, and Clarke pulls her into her arms, holding her tight as she sobs, rocking her back and forth, “Oh, my baby. My baby. My baby.”

You start to cry harder, not wanting to hear or see Clarke’s heartbreak, not wanting to see Madi’s blank expression, but you can't look away. You don't look away when you feel Bellamy slide up beside you, slipping his hand into your own, you don't look away when you hear Octavia and Levitt talking quietly behind you. You keep your eyes on your little sun and your shining star, unable to do anything other than cry at the scene before you. 

Clarke lays Madi back down, before turning her teary face back to you, her eyes landing on Bellamy in the process.  You see surprise pass over her face, meaning she really didn't register his presence when you all stepped into the room. But her surprise turns to anger as she glares at him, “What happened? What did he do to her?”

Bellamy shakes his head, looking just as upset as the rest of you, tears streaming down his face too. “I don’t know. When I heard she was here, I came looking for her immediately. She was like this when I found her. Cadogan was already gone.”

“You said you’d keep her safe!”

Bellamy stutters a little, his voice thick with emotion. “I tried, Clarke, but I woke up in a hospital bed. I left as soon as I heard she was here, but it must have been hours after her arrival by that point.”

Clarke’s expression turns horrified as she takes in the weight of his words. He got to her as soon as he could to try to help her. But the reason it took him so long to reach her is because he was in a hospital bed. Put there by Clarke. You reach out for her, squeezing her shoulder to stop her train of thought. “Hey, hey, hey, this is not your fault. This is Cadogan’s fault.”

Bellamy whispers, “You couldn't have known.”

And though he doesn't outright say it, you know that his words are forgiveness. Bellamy offers his forgiveness to Clarke for shooting him, her anguish over Madi punishment enough. He offers her the olive branch, and it’s up to her to take it. Thankfully, she does, looking at Bellamy with genuine regret. “I shouldn't have shot you, Bellamy. I panicked, and didn't know what to do.”

“No, you were right to. I don't blame you for shooting me, it was part of a wake up call for me. La lune giving me back her ring, you shooting me, finding Madi like this, they all woke me up to the truth about Cadogan: he’s a monster. A psychopath obsessed with being worshipped, just like he was on Earth.”

And everything is simultaneously okay and not okay, because the confession is big, but none of you get the time to respond to it, because Octavia steps up beside Clarke, looking between all of you. “She can hear you. She knows you're here.”

Clarke nods and turns back towards Madi, trying to hide her tears as she smiles. “Hey, baby, I'm here. I'm right here.”

You lean down into Madi’s line of sight, doing the same to mask your hurt as you whisper, “Hey there, little sun. Ani’s here too.”

Clarke turns to face Levitt, who’s still standing off to the side. “Is it recoverable?”

“What? I-” The question catches him off guard, not sure if he should answer, but after a second, he solemnly shakes his head. “No. The areas of her brain responsible for voluntary movement have been destroyed. I'm sorry.”

The words make all of you start to cry harder, now faced with the reality that Cadogan has paralyzed Madi permanently in the pursuit of transcendence. It's enough to make you sick to your stomach. But that feeling only intensifies as Clarke glances off to the side, where her discarded pistol now lays, and after a moment of thought, she leans down to get it. You know exactly what she’s thinking because you know her better than she knows herself, and you shake your head, your voice soft and firm. “Clarke, no.”

She starts to cry harder, her hands shakily lifting the gun, determined to do what she thinks is right for Madi. But the sight breaks your heart, as Clarke can barely hold the gun steady, too overcome with emotion. Your twin that has bore it so the rest of you don't have to is breaking, and you know you need to be there for her. Which is why you drop Bellamy’s hand and reach out for the gun. “I’ll do it.”

She looks at you, expression heartbroken but hopeful, and you whisper, “I'm not letting you live with this.”

She nods a little, passing you the gun, which you take with now shaky hands. Clarke reaches out for Madi, putting a hand on either side of her face as she whispers, “I love you so much. Don't be scared, just listen to my voice, okay?”

And just like Bellamy was doing before all of you arrived, she starts to hum Clair de lune, ducking her head beside Madi’s so she can't see her tears. You lift the gun with a shaky hand, your own tears blurring your vision, aiming the pistol at her chest. But as you stare down at the blank expression of your little sun, you don't think you can do it, the burden too great for any of you to bear. You start to cry harder, a sob escaping from your chest, and Clarke looks over at you, nodding a little, letting you know that it’s okay, it’s time. 

But you can’t. You stare down at Madi’s face, reminded of the girl that couldn't speak English when you met her, who caught Clarke with a bear trap. The little girl you taught how to drive, how to fight. The girl who inspired an army to fight for Shallow Valley. You shake your head a little, unable to do it, your hand starting to lower again. But then Bellamy reaches out and closes his hand over your own. You look back at him, and he looks at you, tears falling down his face as he whispers, “Together.”

You nod, and the two of you turn to face Madi, lifting the gun to aim right over her heart. And as your finger lifts to the trigger, Bellamy’s finger poised over your own, ready to help you, you whisper, “I love you, little sun.”

But before the two of you can pull the trigger, Levitt suddenly calls out, “No, he got the code!”

You pause and you all turn towards him in shock, and he catches sight of the gun in your hand, suddenly apologetic. “Oh, God. Oh, I'm sorry.”

Octavia asks, “The test code? Are you sure?”

“Hologram mode.”

He enlarges the memory so you can all see, watching as Becca’s fingers press the symbols on the Anomaly Stone, the room glowing in white before the memory ends. Clarke shifts her gaze from the memory down to Madi, her heartbreak giving way to hard anger. “He got what he needed and left her here?”

The words hit all of you right in the chest. This man that is so determined to transcend, to prove that humans are worthy, paralyzed a child to do it, and then left her alone. Bellamy was right when he called Cadogan a monster, and you can feel Wanlida smiling as she steps into view. “We have to stop him.”

Octavia starts, “If one man represents the entire human race-”

Bellamy finishes, “It can't be him.”

Levitt nods, looking between all of you. “We can still stop him, but we have to go now.”

Everyone seems to silently agree, and you and Clarke turn back to Madi. Clarke puts her hand on Madi’s cheek, and you reach out to squeeze Madi’s hand. Clarke whispers, “I'll come back. I'll be back after we stop the test, and I promise I will not let him win.”

She presses a kiss to Madi’s forehead, and leans back so you can add, “We’re going to stop him, Madi, and we’re going to fix this. I promise. Bill Cadogan thinks he’s unstoppable, but he’s never met Wanheda and Wanlida.”

-

next chapter

[fandomrewrites]

Chasing Butterflies: The Calm

Hello friends! I am so sorry for the long hiatus I just took but my motivation is back and I have more free time to write so I will be posting more regularly. I’m going to finish these last few chapters of Season 1 asap then I’ll be back to a weekly schedule (which I will also be updating my teen wolf story)! Thank you guys so much for your patience and as always constructive criticism is welcomed. Make sure to let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

Season 1; Episode 11: The Calm Pairings: OC x OC Best Friends, no love interests yet Warnings: Mentions of death Word  Count: 2,215

Elara and Nova sat in silence at the West wall, watching for grounders. After about ten minutes, Elara decides to speak to her friend. "Are you sure you're ok? With your dad dying?"

Nova sighs, "Lara, I'm fine. He sent me down here to die anyway. Why should I be upset that he's gone? My concern is not my father's death. It's making sure the rest of us survive and the Grounders are taken care of."

"Taken care of? You mean killed."

"Well yeah, if that's what it comes to. I'd rather have them die then us."

Elara shakes her head, "We're not warriors, Nov."

"And we're not negotiators either, yet we were just trying that the other day."

"There is absolutely no arguing with you, is there?" 

"I'm not trying to argue, I'm stating the truth."

"You say that you're stating facts and you're not a negotiator but you don't know all of the sides, and you literally studied to become leader on the Ark. I'm pretty sure that takes some negotiating and learning both sides."

Nova glances at Elara, "Do you mean to talk with the Grounders again to try and see their side of things? Because I don't think that will work considering they kept trying to put all the blame on us last time."

Nova pauses as she looks out to the forest before her. "Look," She continues, "I get that we're not perfect either and we made mistakes that if we didn't we may have been better off now. But we can't change what we did in the past. The Grounders killed our friends. And they weren't taking any of the blame. We need to do whatever it takes to survive. Warriors or not."

Before either of them can say more, one of the guys in camp calls out, "Woah! Guys, fire!"

"Go see what it is. I'll stay on post." Elara says.

Nova gives a quick nod before taking off to the commotion. "This is all your fault! We told you it was too much wood." Murphy yells, running towards Del and throwing a punch.

"Woah, woah, woah! Back up both of you!" Nova screams, running in between the two delinquents. 

"Seriously, save it for the Grounders." Bellamy says, stepping up beside Nova.

"Well, now what the hell are we gonna do? That was all the food." Octavia announces.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Clarke, Bellamy, and Nova step into the charred remains of the smokehouse. "Any idea what happened?" Clarke asks.

"Murphy says that Del kept feeding the fire, mostly because Octavia told him it was a bad idea." Bellamy answers.

"And we believe Murphy?"

"I do."

"The only reason I believe him is because Octavia said the same thing." Nova replies. 

"We have some wild onions and nuts in the dropship." Clarke begins, "It's only enough to last us maybe one or two weeks. What's left here?"

"Nothing. It all burned." Bellamy states.

"We're going to have to hunt. We won't be able to defend ourselves if we're starving." Nova immediately says.

"Anyone we can spare goes out." Clarke continues, agreeing with Nova.

Once the three step out they call for the attention of their fellow delinquents. "Each group takes someone with a gun, and they're for killing Grounders, not food. We don't have the ammo. Use the spears for hunting. Get what you can. Be back by nightfall. No one stays out after dark." Bellamy announces to the group.

"Miller, want to go out with Lara and I?" Nova asks the boy.

"Are you the one carrying a gun?" Miller asks. 

"If you want me to, I can, but I figured you could use the gun and Lara and I could use our bows for hunting."

Miller nods, "Give me a minute to get my pack."

*_*_*_*_*_*

Once outside the walls the group of three stayed quiet as they tried to track some animals, any animal.

"I always hated learning tracking in Earth Skills. Now I wish I paid more attention." Nova mumbled quietly, squatting down to look in the dirt.

"Let me. I was actually pretty decent at Earth Skills. I mean, I'm no Finn, but I can track an animal or two." Miller says as he squats beside Nova.

After a brief moment Miller nods his head to the left, "That way." The three delinquents keep an eye out for Grounders and animals as they follow the tracks down to a river.

"Looks like we're getting two headed deer. I really hope this is safe to eat." Elara says as she raises her bow and shoots.

The deer falls with a quiet thud. "Good tracking, Miller. That will feed us for a bit. Especially if the other groups come back with good finds." Nova nods to the boy.

"Let's see if we can find any fish while we're by the river. Maybe we can bring back some more food." Miller replies.

"Good thinking." The group, plus the dead deer, move to a slightly deeper part of the river.

Miller keeps his eyes and ears peeled for Grounders while Nova and Elara stand still in the water, waiting for fish to swim closely by. After about 25 minutes the girls have collected about five fish each.

"This should be good for today. It will be dark soon, let's head back." Nova says.

The other two nod in agreement as they collect their kills and start their journey back to camp.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Walking back into camp and placing their kills in the new smokehouse, Elara walks out to check around camp for any possible injuries that occurred while she was away.

While Elara makes her rounds, Miller and Nova move to find Bellamy. "Bell! We just got back, and found a deer and ten fish." Miller informs. 

"Ok, good. You guys were cutting it close to curfew. Had me a bit worried." Bellamy replies.

"Please, I think we were the most capable group out there. It was the others you should have worried about. Everyone's back, right?" Nova asks the older boy.

"We're still waiting for Clarke, Finn, and Myles." Bellamy answers.

"The sun just went down. They're not back yet?"

"No. Miller, go take over watch on the South wall." Miller nods and walks away. "I think I'm going to get a small group together to look for them."

Nova bites her lip, "You sure you want to risk it in the dark?"

"We don't have much of a choice. Clarke isn't just one of our medics, she's taken over a bit of a leadership role too. And Finn is our best tracker, we need him."

"Plus Myles is one of the few guys with decent aim. Yeah, I get it, I just don't like it."

"Me either. But we need to look out for ourselves."

"Take Elara, they may need medical attention." Nova says.

"You're not coming?" Bellamy asks, shocked that the girl is offering to stay behind.

"I promised I would continue some combat and weapons training. With the Grounders possibly striking any day now I need everyone to be at the top of their game. "

"You want to do that at night?" Bellamy raises an eyebrow.

"We don't know when they are planning on attacking, it could benefit us to train with low light."

"Makes sense. I'll let you get to it then."

Nova nods, "And Bellamy? If anything happens to Elara, I'm killing you."

*_*_*_*_*_*

"Hey, I feel like we haven't gotten the chance to talk recently." Atlas calls out to Elara. 

"Sorry, with everything going on..." She trails off.

"Nah, I get it. Are you busy now?" 

"Um, no. Everything seems to be alright around here."

"Great, could we talk then?"

Elara gives him a weird look, "Yeah, sure. What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, I don't remember much, but I vaguely remember asking about us when I was high on those Jobi nuts. I guess I just wanted to talk to you about it." Atlas rubs the back of his neck, clearly unsure of how to start this conversation.

"Oh, well. I didn't realize there was more that we had to talk about. I mean, I didn't really think much of it. You were high after all."

"Yeah, but after being down here with you I realized how much I miss you. I know we broke up because I got arrested, it was definitely the right thing to do considering I thought I was going to die but..."

Atlas sighs before he continues, "I kinda regret breaking up with you. You're an amazing person Elara. I was so lucky to be able to call you mine and I never stopped loving you. I guess I'm just wondering if I'll ever have a chance with you again?"

Elara bites her lip, looking up to the stars as she thinks. "Everything feels so different down here. I honestly don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or hell even within the next hour."

She takes a breath and turns to look Atlas in the eye, "What I do know is that I never stopped loving you either. You always meant so much to me, but you also hurt me when you broke up with me. I understand why you did it, but that doesn't mean I had an easy time with the break up."

"I can see us possibly working out in the future, but for now I think it's best that we stay friends. 

Atlas nods and opens his mouth to respond, but before any words come out, a new voice is heard. "Elara! We need your help."

"Be right there!" Elara calls then turns back to Atlas, "I gotta go, we can talk more later." She smiles before standing up and making her way to the group gathered by the gates.

"What did you need?" Elara asks Bellamy, taking note of her bow and arrows in his hand.

Bellamy hands her the weapon, "Clarke, Finn, and Myles still aren’t back yet. We're going out to look for them and Nova said to bring you incase they need a medic."

"Alright, then let's go."

*_*_*_*_*_*

Nova stood to the side, watching as three delinquents practiced knife throwing. Whenever she felt like someone needed help, she went over and gave them tips on adjusting their throw and balance.

She was happy with the improvements the group has made with the thought that maybe we will survive running through her head. 

After watching them practice for a while and slowly not being able to find any more mistakes, she moved on to the next group. This group, one of which was Harper, were practicing with spears. 

"Good shot Harper, just watch your balance. You want to make sure your footing is even so you don't tip over with the power of the throw." Nova says as she walks over to adjust the girl's footing.

"Thanks, I felt like something was off." Harper replies, smiling at Nova.

Nova nods, "How are you feeling about a possible war?"

"Nervous, I know a war means we'll lose more people. I don't want to lose anyone. I don't want to die."

Nova gives her a sad smile, "We're just going to have to come up with a plan so we keep as many of our people alive as possible." Harper smiles then turns back to practicing with the spear.

*_*_*_*_*_*

"Where are they?" Raven asks Octavia and Elara.

"We'll find them." Octavia replies without hesitation.

Through the radio, Monty's voice can be heard, "I thought you said you were heading west. Where are you?"

"Just keep the moon to your left, and you'll find us." Bellamy answers.

"This morning, all I could think about was how much easier this would all be if Finn was just gone." Raven sighs.

"Don't blame yourself, Raven. It isn't your fault." Elara says, resting a comforting hand on the older girl's shoulder.

Monty's voice is heard once more, "Is anyone else hearing this signal? I think it's the same thing we heard in the black box."

"Damn it, Monty, pay attention." Bellamy scolds, "Do you see anything? Report."

Monty doesn't answer, instead Raven does, "Oh my God. There's someone in the bushes."

"Myles?" Octavia and Elara say when they see the boy on the ground.

"Hey, what happened? Where's Clarke and Finn?" Elara asks the injured boy. She's more focused on his wounds then his answer though.

"Grounders took them." Myles replies.

"Take it easy." Bellamy tells Myles, "We have to get him back to camp."

"Bell, what about Clarke and Finn?" Raven asks.

"Raven, I'm sorry."

"We need to make a stretcher, we can't carry him back with his injuries." Elara says.

The girls nod as they start gathering supplies for a stretcher. Elara stays behind to make sure Myles isn't bleeding too bad. She listens in as Bellamy radios Monty, "Monty, we're heading home. You copy?" 

There's a brief pause before he continues, "Monty, can you hear me?" Again, no answer. "Monty, where the hell are you?"

The group looks at each other in shock, concerned that the Grounders may have captured another one of their group.