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icewindandboringhorror · 8 months ago

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What would you choose? :0c

(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)

#I would get orange juice. black coffee. AND iced coffee ($3) because I love the variety of having multiple drinks #then sausage and scrambled eggs ($8). Then sauteed mushrooms ($3)....AND... hrm.. then spending the remaining $4 would be hard #I wish I could get waffles (as they are my favorite and are superior in every way compared to pancakes. donuts. etc.) but I'm not willing #to give up the other savory things just to get them. so... then maybe I could get a biscuit or english muffin? and just put jam or #honey butter or something on it so it can be my replacement 'sweet and bready' thing instead of something from the $5 row??#OR I could also just assume that having the orange juice plus iced coffee would provide enough of a 'sweet element' to the meal #(since I largely prefer savory foods. I only like a tiny bit of sweet added for variety) and thus forego any sort of #'bready' thing entirely and just get the bowl of beans/onion/tomato (I'd leave the avocado since I don't like the #texture of them really lol). THEN I'd have $1 left to get the milk or the black tea... increasing my total of random drinks..#which is always the goal of course.. as a chronic ''person who is sipping at 5 different drinks at their desk simultaneously always'' perso #OR... I could just do.. waffle. scrambled eggs. sausage. mushrooms. and black coffee and orange juice.. which is... okay variety #augh... so difficult.. As my Ideal Breakfast is like a buffet type thing or something where you have like 25 different things to choose fro #and can get a little tiny bit of everything. My eating style is very much like.. I'd rather pick at a small amount of a ton of #different things than just have a very large amount of only one or two things. Thats why I LOVE sample platter type stuff.#So it's like... augh... the ideal option would be a tiny portion of EVERYTHING actually lol...#Difficult to choose...#ANYWAY.. Also no idea why I added croissant instead of bagel. I only thought about that afterwards. I do actually like bagels.#I've only ever even had a croissant like 2 times in my entire life. Yet I've had many bagels. For some reason it stuck out in my mind more #when I was considering 'essential breakfast foods' somehow... how could I forget them... bagels my beloved...#Blame it on the hot weather... 'What in the blazes? The sun hath obliterated the concept of bagels from my miind!'#(< meant to be said in a silly overdramatic elderly wizard accent or something)#Also I don't think ''bowl of beans. onion. avocado. and tomatos.'' is necessarily a breakfast classic or something gbhjjh #but I was just trying to think of a versatile vegetable-ish side that could be full of common breakfast additions #so people could do stuff like ''oh I get the toast option and then the bowl of stuff and I put the avocado on the toast'' etc.#Like a mix and match. You could mix ingredients from different parts. You could put scrambled eggs and bacon and onion #on the bread or soemthing. etc. I just feel like something is always missing if a Full Breakfast Spread #doesnt have some sort of onions or beans or mushrooms or asparagus or spinach like... some sort of thing that isn't just eggs and meat and #bread.. you know? lol..#But then again.. I am the Sampling Plate Style Variety Lover and Tiny Portion Of Food Picker so maybe thats just a me thing.

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gophergal · 2 years ago

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Life on the farm

#gopher art #mortal kombat #subscorp #mk subzero #mk scorpion #kuai liang #hanzo hasashi #mortal kombat legends #been holding onto this one for a bit! finished it more than a month ago lol #i was originally going to save it for subscorp week but then i was like. nah. that wouldnt be entirely fair lol #and besides. ive been wanting to share it for long enough and my resolve has kinda worn down #anyway - snowblind but AU'd! heres my concept of this (which i may use later on for something idk): king kano got his shit wrecked #like way before the events of the movie. by the revenants in fact. i want him torn to shreds. you still have random roving assholes #making trouble across the wastes. but its much less dire. kuai still retires to his farm. kenshi still falls for shang tsung's bullshit #and kuai mentors him. hanzo becomes warlord of netherrealm. BUT. he and kuai keep in contact. its long distance and they make it work #sometimes scorpion vacays to Kuai's farm. as a treat. thats what this drawing is #i cant deny that i literally just want them to be happy ok. thats literally all i want for these gay old ninjas #bonus commentary: at the time of drawing this i was still figuring out how i wanted to draw hanzo. he's so fucking hard to draw #when i draw him without his mask or beard he looks so fucking off. but if i draw him with the beard it feels weird too.#babygirl why are you so hard to draw?? dont you want me to draw you?????

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lucalicatteart · 1 year ago

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A few silly little small sculptures that I made with some of the leftover clay from the main one I did recently

#sculpture #birds #neopets #sparkly little aishas my beloved.....#Though I actually kind of liked them with a matte finish more?? I wanted to try out making them sparkly and shiny..but #I think they might have looked better before adding all the shine. BUT I kind of like both. Maybe I should make two more that aren't shiny #just to have variation lol... an entire army of tiny aishas.....#The little house is so bad lol I hada headache at that point and kind of just wanted to get everything over with #(I bake the clay all at once so I had to get the smaller ones done to go with the main one)#and was like.. zero effort into making things line up or measuring at all. one window on one side is like twice as big as on the other lol #but I think from afar ifnot examined too closely it's still kind of cute. The birds were also just random like 'what can I shape out of thi #s small blob of clay I have leftover' etc. I did actually put irridescent eyeshaow on the pigeon but it just doesnt show up in photos ToT #The other bird is not anything in specific... some sort of random fantasy creature bird with slight purple on it's wings or something #The strawberry is exclusively just a quickly done accessory for the birds.. I wanted them to have a little meal to share #even though I dont know if birds eat strawberries #the last picture in the set is them all sitting on a shelf (the most well lit place I could find) but looks weird #since it has all of my avocado pit eyes in the background......... ominous backdrop for such peaceful little creachures..#you kind of cant tell what they are from that angle though i guess lol

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sec0nd-breakfast · 2 months ago

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okay, so do the Simon Thorn books actually exist??? Because I have searched every piece of media, every platform for the fandom, but it's just?? not there??

Animox, are you just a fever dream or do you actually just hide from me?

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liauditore · 1 year ago

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biomechanical horrors <3 <3 <3

Part One

~

Tango's alive.

We don't know how and we don't care.

He was... Half of him was covered in that stuff. Sculk. He's been down there for months, it should've eaten him alive by now, according to everything we know.. His survival could mean endless things for the scientific community but I don't even care to think about that right now.

When.. When I saw him in that thing's mouth the cockpit, limp and curled up in his seat, I'd feared it was confirmation of what we had all been expecting..

I hate to admit it but I.. didn't want to look any longer. If it was just me back there, Tango would've really been a goner...

Skizz.. has never been one for logical thinking. It drives me insane but it might've saved our friend. That moron has a heart too good for this world. I hadn't thought it possible that human hands could shatter Decked Out's windshield like that... maybe she was worn from her time in the Deep Dark?

Either way, he's.. stable, according to the medics. Breathing. He woke for a bit earlier and was just kind of.. standing there, staring at something off in the distance. I put him back in bed and told him to try and rest.

Morning. We'll look for answers in the morning.

~

RETRIEVED FROM SITE

PILOT Tango Tek - Unconscious. Sculk-infested. Currently receiving care. Missed you, buddy.

PILOT SUIT, TEK Variety, mark07 - Tango's pilot suit that he designed himself. Covered in sculk. We're trying our best to clean it but the stuff's stubborn as hell... Might be good to just discard it. Surely Tango wouldn't be too mad?

SCULK SAMPLES - that thing was covered in sculk and shriekers alike... it's like it was... pulsing... like it had a heartbeat...

DECKED OUT - she's beyond help, I'm afraid.

~

Tango's gone again.

He clawed my face in when I tried to hold him down. It'll heal, but... I just... I didn't expect that from him, I guess. He took the suit too, barrelled through a dozen nurses and security guards to get to it.

That thing, it... it heaved itself to the surface on its arms. You could hear it from the centre of town. The ground beneath it screeched. It looked like it was in pain.

It dragged itself all the way to the edge of the shopping district. We had no idea what to do, it shouldn't be able to move without a pilot or power. It shouldn't have teeth either.

It sat there for half an hour. Its jaw unhinged and slacked onto the pavement. I remember the first time I watched a whale beach itself. It was a lot like that but... this thing felt like it knew what it wanted from us.

Eventually it just got up and left like nothing happened.

I think Tango's in it again.

#my art #my writing #cw horror #whump #tangotek #YAHHHHHHH #cw body horror #biomechnical horror #no plans for a part 3 right now btw so uh ✌️#for anyone curious: sculk do a funny and turned the mech into some sort of biomechanical warden hybid horror show #its also done something funny to tango's brain so thats why he's kinda feral #<-- not that just being trapped in the deep dark for months alone wouldn't make u feral already #does this count as creepypasta lol #POVs are kinda foggy on purpose but they're supposed to be ZITS. I imagined it being zed writing most of part one and impulse writing pt2 #but tbh i didn't really pay too much attention to that so it could be either or. or someone entirely random.

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bearenjoyers · 6 months ago

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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.

and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.

and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.

#gray.txt #and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place #of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that #genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting #when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t #his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms #because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike #it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words #where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once #also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr #sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison #to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material #that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs #and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like #i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do #and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something #came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating

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opalsiren · 2 months ago

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the rage i am experiencing rn i actually should be sequestered in a lab

#met a friend for what should've been quiet food/drinks last night. but nooooo he brought along some random drunk american divorc��e who spent #the night traumadumping at us. one thing about me is i hate plans changing last minute and i HATE having to meet ppl i don't know without #prior preparation. no i'm not autistic why do you ask. but i was in sooo much pain and just general bad form before i even got anywhere plus #the bar was so fucking loud/drag was happening it was just NOT the vibes. and it takes so much to get me out the door in the first place #i straight up grilled my friend after being like 'if you bring a randomer along to one of our dates again i am leaving' lol in fairness he #was like. genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. but he's been so flaky lately and i am suffering from my general ailments and maladies #by the time she left after crashing our entire night out i basically had to leave bc i felt too horrible to stay out and chat. it just feels #so unfair.#anyway remind me not to go bars in future especially at the weekend and just like. meet people for a quiet dinner or something lmao #.txt

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burningcomputerpersona · 3 months ago

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you ever have one of those cases where you know your childhood wasn't exactly normal but then you take a look at one aspect of your life that you thought was just a quirky lil detail and realize maybe that was a bit more not-normal than you previously thought

#i spent my entire school years cooped up in my room pretending to study when i wasn't at school #no free time ever bc if there's free time then there's always something more important you could be doing instead of taking a break #just always trying to look like i was studying whenever anybody entered my room and i wasn't sleeping #maybe that fucked me up a bit bc now i never feel like I'm allowed to have any free time #or maybe that's just the adhd who knows #anyway that's also why i never went outside bc it never even occured to me that i could even ask for permission to go outside #or even just hang out with friends after school. fuuuuuuuuck wait is that why ppl have been thinking im weird for heading straight home #after school everyday instead of hanging out to chat and hang out even though i have nothing else to do #anyway what i was going for before that lil realization was that idk how to answer when ppl ask me about video games #bc you have to play those on your phone or computer and you have to pay for them too and of course my parents weren't paying for that #and it's not like i could've just got them myself bc i never had an allowance bc they expected me to ask them if there was anything i needed #but ppl aren't really expecting you to dive into how weird your life/parents were when they ask you about video games #so idk. maybe i should really just get a therapist so i can figure out what's normal and what isn't lol #anyway. i keep having these little realizations recently and idk why. i thought i already knew everything abt my own life #guess im just recontextualizing things based on new info or whatever #it's getting pretty annoying having new epiphanies abt my life when im just tryna get through school tho :/#mine #random #vent

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bitegore · 3 months ago

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ngl i think i kind of was a genius for being like 'yeah this character is a scary killyou cannibal scary killer who scary kills you' and then realizing that the way my worldbuilding works out is that there's a nonzero chance that if you leave literally any body parts over they can just come back, depending on what they believe in their heart of hearts can kill them. Of course she'd start eating her kills. She probably tried normal stuff first and then realized it didn't work and she had to try harder if she wanted to actually keep them dead.

#red rambles #im working on a character who i made up years and years ago and wasnt even happy with then because he didnt seem to have enough like #interior thoughts he was just like a guy who killed people when he was stressed and his life was constantly stressful and then he killed on #person too many and they were like 'this is fucking untenable and he has to die' and then they killed him #which is soooooooooo absolutely nothing honestly. Like it works as a barebones summary but i want to stress there was actually straight up #nothing else there. the entire rest of his whole whatnot was just being entangled with Haven who is a different character who at the time #ALSO felt unsatisfyingly lacking in interiority but at lesat he had really complex motivations and action flowcharts. that werent just 'i #get grumpy and i just go kill some random person with no regard for what the consequences will be and then i am so mean and i kill you'#now theres a lot more happening. i really didnt. like.#okay so i had a Backstory worked out but it was vague because i didnt know what the fuck he WANTEDDDDDDD right like. i had no motivations a #literally all except 'oohhh i kill people ooohhh i like killing people ooohhh im erratic i kill people' and the background i HAD was like.#Upper class scion of some rich family whose family honest to god just did not like him very much and also [gestures vaguely] i guess he #maybe kicked dogs or something and then he ??nebulous timeline meets haven and then kills his sister or kills his sister and very quickly #thereafter meets haven but i usually lean toward the former because haven LOVES convincing people to kill their whole families its like #cathartic for him because he would love to kill his entire family but physically cannot do it. but like kind of the implications of this #as far as i was concerned given this is set in the mid 1800s was like. ehhh he's getting away with this because he's rich white and male an #it pays to turn a blind eye to his indiscretions or w/e. a genderswap means that she'd be subject to a lot more scrutiny on basis of like #misogyny. LOL. and i already had the preexisting 'hates half sibling' (i genderswapped the sister into a brother because why not) and 'hate #parents' and 'parents strongly dislike her' and 'unsettling' and it worked nicely to start giving me actual fucking. Literally anything to #work with there. because it means that by going off with Haven she walks out of one situation where she has like 0 agency into another one #and like to be clear i respect anyone who is sitting around in haven's general vicinity for snapping and just starting to kill people. me t #but this works. SOOOOOOOOOO much better for real #im still working the kinks out but like also this means that she wins. she wins like multiple times actually. she comes closer to killing #haven than anyone since he learned what fucking species he was and causes him more trouble in the interest of getting the FUCK out of there #than anyone else has and then she fucking gets what she was going for against literally every effort haven could've made over ~five decades #get owned loser.#every time i draw her i cant help it i write some shit like PLEASE JUST GET DIVORCED on it even though i wrote the fucking narrative i know #it will never fucking happen and thats why she does all this shit instead #in another world she'd be like the wildly capable owner of Raytheon 2 or some other shit like that. like she'd never be a nice or good #person but she wouldn't be dead. god she could be in charge of a country or some shit. Alas. Please get divorced.

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aroaessidhe · 5 months ago

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2024 reads / storygraph

The Empire Wars

brutal YA dystopian fantasy, start of a duology

set in a future climate-ravaged world taken over by a white supremacist empire

a girl raised feral has to survive being hunted along with other foreigners and political enemies on a deadly magical island

and a princess of the Makari-African people newly married into the regime, intent on bringing it down if she can find a way

#The Empire Wars #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #oof! I thought this was good. it’s pretty brutal and definitely upper-YA. Very compellingly written with some complex characters.#There’s a lot going on though it’s quite slow-building - it starts at the beginning of the hunt #then flashbacks to the leadup to build context.#I appreciate a dystopia that directly discusses the repeat in history & explicitly names that history instead of being vague about it.#but then it is also sort of vague about who the authoritarian regime are - just vaguely northern european?#Though I understand why that choice was made haha.#The worldbuilding has a lot going on - and I do feel like there’s weird gaps or things that don’t entirely make sense?#But only when I’ve sat back and thought about it after a few weeks; it wasn’t that distracting in the moment.#I actually like how a lot of things like the hunt feel like a barely controlled mess that’s only holding together by a thread politically.#The magic is a bit random and I almost feel like it could have done without it?#I appreciate that there’s not really a Romance - there’s Ife’s marriage (but like to a nazi who she plans to kill)#and big asterix on where that and something with the other MC goes (there is attraction but too early to tell what will happen?)#but at the very least it’s not super heavy on it. It’s not a priority anyway.#and it seems like the author hates coloniser romance from her twitter so there’s that at least #(i do want to know more about the offhand mention of Ife’s friend (handmaiden?) teaching her how to kiss.#why would you just drop that and move on?? gay?? not that that’s the point lol)#def ends on a cliffhanger too.

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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago

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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol

#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations #with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really #have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a #few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government #Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i #all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue #option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to #do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from #and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random #little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag #or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol #ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched #out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is #One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work #on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol #Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since #they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game #takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding #enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration #of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting #to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol #I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest #of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need #at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically #outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol #ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh #also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh #wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel

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bakawitch · 1 year ago

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Soul mate/arranged marriage au my beloved

Who's ready for more of my casteshipping nonesense?

#this is another example of me having a random thought and latching on to it like a fucking leach #and expanding it until i basically have an entire fic written in my head i just need to actually write it #at least im drawing something for this lol #yugioh #yugioh dm #ygo dm #thief king bakura #bakura #pharao atem #atem #casteshipping #baka stuff

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itsalwaysdark · 6 months ago

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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing #but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day #while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes #and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her #but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work #and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to #but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat #what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me #and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even #b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it #i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified #theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying #but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly #idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me #me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in #that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i #saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage #for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god #idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week #and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice #i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel #hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in #touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment #a2t #i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it #graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol

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just-a-normal-crow · 9 months ago

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Hellooo mun!!! If you met your muse (or muses, if you wanna do both or just the birb) how do you think that interaction would go like?

((omg hello!! gosh ahsjdk tbh i never really thought about it because i don't even like the idea of any of the actual canon characters interacting with me personally [see: @dolasach's reason for existence + this blog honestly just being made so that i could have a reason to interact with the rp blogs without having to bring out my oc] but this did get me thinking >v<

for the crow:

crows are honestly extremely rare where i live, at most i see them as small black figures in the sky when they're flying off. so if i got the meet the crow irl i think i'd be genuinely thrilled?

as in. i would go through the motions of trying to befriend the thing and also play the part of a fool that tries to feed a mechanical bird ;-; i'd hope that it'd be like what's going on with yvonne, but i'm not talkative enough with animals to get any sort of emotional investment out of anyone at onychinus hq for what drama might be going on in my life. so like. i'd just be a running joke to the engineers for being a reason why the bird keeps coming back with a chassis full of food lol

for dolasach:

okay so like. i so CLEARLY imagine myself to meet her because of some art event where she's a guest, like a lecture or workshop or gallery exhibit opening. she'd have such a particular vibe to her, i feel? that would make it shockingly easy for me to actually reach out and ask questions about her craft (if it were a gallery opening) or ask some really thorough questions + start a bit of banter (if its a workshop) even if her gaze would be so intense i might die on the spot <-aroace but not immune to cool hot people.

i think it would go fairly well, i don't think i've ever left bad impressions on more important people i've interacted with and half the time end up befriending them + i want to believe i'd get a genuine laugh from her 😭 that's all i want oml))

#((the intern speaks))#((this made me think of this one professor i had in uni who in hindsight had PEAK dola vibes. insanely put together and polished as a perso #and with that kind of strict intimidating vibe at first? but is actually surprisingly warm and silly lol and now i also think i'd fight #tooth and nail to be in her class. tho at the same time she'd teach something so niche that there would be JUST enough students for the #class to not be dissolved sdhfjksdf))#((and with the crow i think id be considerably more nervous bc i'm another dumbass that thinks its a real bird so i dont wanna fuck up #and have an entire murder remember me as evil forever and gang up on me as punishment for hurting the feelings of one of their brethren))#((bonus: if i ever meet sylus... he has to be the one to speak to me first or else nothing is going to happen sdfhjksfjhsdf #and if he does... either i think he's a creep and try to get away OR we somehow become besties after i introduce him to the joys of #halo-halo and kwek-kwek LMAO he'd have to be on vacation in the philippines somewhere and for some reason #i get random people asking me questions??? and sometimes asking for my twitter to add me shfjksddfjhs))#((anyway omg thank u for the ask >.< took a while + now im medicated so im yapping away like crazy but this was fun thinking!!))

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 1 year ago

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can I write 8k in the next 5 hours??? probably not but am I still gonna try even tho I literally have zero large scale plot ideas for this book???? yeah!!!!

#today I bullshitted the most random flashback in the entire world but it doesn’t need to be cut out or moved or anything because this #is my designated Dumb Book & everything stays forever #it’s a good flashback tho lol like it’s purposeless RIGHT NOW #but WHO CARESSSSS #I forgot how nice it is to draft something where literally nothing at all matters #tbf it probably took me 5 hours total the last time to write 11k cuz I didn’t start till 1pm and took long breaks lolllll #I just wanna finish this chapter !!!

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faunandfloraas · 11 months ago

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Honestly funniest thing is how I sometimes see random shit about felix or chan and the person will be like This Is An Australian Thing, Trust Me and I'm just sitting here like .... well. I don't trust you.

#sometimes i think its just australian fans Not Necessarily lying but bending things to be more funny or interesting #or bc theyre trying to push an idea tbh #but other times i dont even think theyre australian they just be sayin something and im like ??#well lived here for my entire life and its definitely not a thing but sure #tbh tho sometimes whatever lie it is is funny so like no reason for me to correct #im fine with funny misinformation but other times its just so random and im like.... Um. not really. lol.

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