#( its like the makeover scene in the princess diaries )

[anquenin]

what if everyone stares at me?

"then i would have done my job right..." astarion sounds exasperated. maybe because he finds himself being it only slightly. there was nothing normal about anyone who found themselves at this hour in the fitting room of the boutique, there's nothing normal about the girl staring at her reflection, there's pins being held in his mouth, as he expertly moves the fabric around, even more careful as to not prick claudia. he fears he would never hear the end of it. and this talk, it's almost dragging...silly insecurities that he does not understand entirely. "...now, dear claudia, do not tell me you're afraid of the spotlight, that seems so unlike you." he's teasing. tone still somewhat bored, not his usual selection of company. but he welcomes it nonetheless.

@claudevil

[tamelee]

what do you love most about sns 🥰

oh 🥰😭... I love how my entire brain went ahead to try and challenge me on this one because where do you even begin? My whole system went into stress-mode due to indecision as I love every single moment and I wouldn’t be able to shut up about it. Every scene with Naruto and Sasuke together has something unique that builds onto that relationship. So, what I like most is the development. The story itself- although I acknowledge that it isn't focussed on romance at all. If I were to give it a name its: discovery. And we get to witness it all. 

Like I said, ‘Naruto’ is a battle-Shonen Manga not focussed on romance. But what I see Kishimoto doing anyway is that he’s pushing back A LOT on those... well, heterosexual (I guess) romance tropes we know. Challenging these classic tropes and mocking them at the same time. Including some of his own characters. Most of what you see happening between them and even with Sakura who's a beard, it's all serving a narrative purpose. There is “like”, “dislike” and contrast to amplify those preferences further. 

You know the awful makeover-moment where the already pretty girl takes off her glasses and straightens her hair and all of a sudden it is a "makeover"? ("Miss Congeniality", "Princess Diaries”- etc.) It is a (usually female) character thing where her worth is based on her appearance, or how romantically appealing she is. Or: your worth is your looks. And for the girls fawning over Sasuke, including Sakura, this is the case. That’s all he is to them and they expect him to be good at everything too. And Naruto, although agreeing that he is handsome, (which is funny by itself) did not value Sasuke by looks at all. In fact, it was even a source of frustration and part of his own inner discovery arc. Both Naruto and Sasuke aren't viewed favorably at all although in opposite ways affecting them differently yet resulting in the same.

Their connection, bond and even history as we come to learn later on is way deeper than what we see in the beginning of the narrative. It only develops further. They smiled at each other without really knowing anything about the other at the pier and Naruto, in all his frustration made Sasuke his rival but realized that Sasuke up close, didn’t look at him the way the other villagers did. This made him wonder and it challenges the bs “love at first sight”-trope as well because even if they felt a connection, they didn’t know anything about each other yet. Discovery.  

But that first feeling allowed them to be curious as children naturally are. To keep an eye on each other, to become jealous, act like rivals, fight, have fun, be happy, get hurt, worry, find out that they’re each other’s most precious person and closest friend. Or in Sasuke’s case, only friend. Or in Naruto’s case, his number one priority- I’m here with you, surely this is heaven? 

Kishimoto used Sakura (and Hinata too) to show contrast and challenge the 'girl transformation'-trope. Brutally so. Because coming to understand one another or deceiving the other by "becoming" someone you're not are completely different things. (Sakura saying "I don't care what you want to do or what your intentions are, I'll come with you" and then already having lost faith or constant facades in the hopes the person you’re interested in will love you back without them having any reason to. This includes ‘bravery’ for the purpose of grabbing attention for the wrong reasons.) Naruto and Sasuke didn't have to change who they were because those feelings were already there. Or to develop that love further. It wasn’t that type of transformation because that never ends well. 

What Naruto and Sasuke feel and have for each other is way more than what most tropes (if not all) write/show as ‘attraction’. Love is way deeper than that. You don't fall out of love suddenly because you don't always feel those "butterflies". Having characters say with words “I love you” as they naturally do in fiction, and not getting it reciprocated makes sense if anything else is lost. (Especially if done in such selfish ways.) Because what defines love is Naruto and Sasuke and they never had to say it literally. Yet, they showed and described it in a lot of ways how love is supposed to feel like- ways how people reading the story can relate to or can imagine how it could feel. Hence ‘Naruto’ receiving criticism of it “being too gay”. Sakura and Hinata, despite the latter being so shy, have been doing a whole lot of talking and lecturing to others about all the things they’re wanting from Naruto and Sasuke while doing nothing to develop anything at all. Not in favor of these boys. (Selfish.) “I love you, so you should love me back” is not how it works. 

Love is giving, sacrificing, selfless, kind, mutual, respect, dependable, forgiving, knowing that the other is at his most vulnerable when he’s eating (Naruto for some reason), wanting them to acknowledge you, making sure they eat, feed them yourself, body moving on its own, making sure they’re safe, wanting them around, walking next to them (which Sasuke actually did and not just say like Hinata), worrying for them, fighting for them, also your closest friend, will do anything, your number one priority, will beg for your life, get a panic attack and refusing to eat at the thought of you being in danger, think of you while seeing a falling star, have a cute nickname for you, stare at your face when your eyes are closed, is able to literally enter your mind, make a suicide pact, willing to die with you despite having a dream, being a Shonen protagonist willing to kill for you if you say something bad about them or claim them as your own, develop special powers and get stronger because of them, have compatible elements, kiss accidentally, never losing faith in the other regardless, feeling happy and at peace, shiver excitedly at the thought of fighting, asking the other if they could read what was in your heart, that you can’t define what you feel exactly, that they saved you, that you hurt when they’re hurt, that you share each other’s pain, have your blood mixed as a visual clue that you’re holding hands because otherwise it’d be “too gay”... etc, etc-

Love is a million things. 

And the fact that some tropes and fans think all it is, is this quick little dopamine rush because “oooh Sasuke’s so cool and handsome with his cat-like eyes and ink-like hair and his love is atoning for his past sins by kissing the floor his wife walks on..” (looking at you Esaka) is just sad. Because your heteronormative mindset in this (‘Naruto’s’) case makes you ignore an entire lovestory that is certainly present there. Majority of fiction is shallow. And I’m afraid, but also happy (kinda) that we’ll never get to witness something like this ever again. 

[voidsteffy]

Smash or Pass: SSR character edition

(if you don't know what Smash or Pass is, its basically a fun little Yes or No game on if you would like to be in a romantic relationship with a fictional character or not. "Smash" means "yes, I would like to be in a romantic relationship with this X character" and "Pass" means " nah, I'd rather be platonic friends with X character".

Disclaimer: I do not mean any relationship with the actors playing the characters. I refer some characters by their actor's names because i often forget the names of the actual characters

I'd like to inaugurate this ask with:

1. Chatrapathi - smash (do NOT ask)

And then onwards:

2. Ntr in sn1 - pass, too sappy for my taste

3. Ntr in Yamadonga - pass, except for that voni scene, it gets me every. damn. time

4. Nitiin in dhee - PASS, don't want me a man who gets his hw done by his friend

5. Genelia in dhee - smash

6. Rathore in Vikramarkudu - smash

7. Sweety in Vikramarkudu - pass

8. Nani in Eega - smash, marry, nee gundegootilo na gunde haayiga taladaachukundani telusu

9. Bahu - nope

10. Avantika - SMASH (without makeover)

11. Devasena - pass, I'd like to be her life coach instead, girl needs to go get some manners and an ego check

12. Bhalla - I answer for @sada-siva-sanyaasi and myself - SMASH

13. Bheem - Smash, HARD SMASH, I'd probably even sing him a lullaby as he curls up in my lap, our pinkies together

14. Ram - pass, he's like my brother.... and he's very emo. no emo for me thanks

15. Sita - Smash

16. Jenny - pass, we're besties, we'll probably be those besties who everyone thinks are secretly in love with each other tho

17. Sunil from Maryada Ramanna - nope, I'd like to give him a loan tho

18. Harsha from Magadheera - smash, with the armour on

19. Mitra from Magadheera - smash, maybe archery foreplay like in Princess Diaries 2

20. Ranadev Billa from Magadheera - pass. I'd like to recommend him a therapist instead, and keep him far away from netflix lest he binge You and get more creative

Thank you so much for the ask! It was such fun eee haha! *Squeals*

[daalphawolfe13]

Excuse the tangent but with the release of Encanto, I have been reminded of a trope that irks me as a glasses user since basically the dawn of time. That being that glasses = ugly /unattractive.

Now I'm not accusing Encanto of perpetuating trope. It in fact, does the glasses wearing community a great service. Mirabel gets to be the main protagonist, making her one of few disney (and arguably animated) females with glasses. Not only that, but never once is she ever having to have a "transformation" where her glasses are removed and *gasp* she's secretly gorgeous 🙄. LooK at this girl. She is already super adorable.

True she doesn't get a love interest in the end, but that's not what HER story is about. She didn't need one and was perfectly fine focusing on something other than boys. (Unlike other movies with this kind of character)

Now let's look at another Disney property: Princess Diaries. Now don't get me wrong, I like this movie fine. It's cheese girl movie cliches. But growing up, the transformation/makeover scene haunted me to no end.

I mean look at how they portray Mia before and after the makeover. And this is with Ann Hathaway, a relatively attractive actress. Do you know what this told preteen me? That no one will like someone with frizzy hair, glasses, and no make up.

And you know what I looked like from 5th grade on? Frizzy hair✅️ no makeup✅️ glasses✅️ I could try to manage my unruly hair and put on make up. But glasses? I can't fix that! At best I could get contacts, which I was able to convince my parents to get in high school. But for the longest time, movies like this taught me one thing, glasses make you wrong and ugly.

Unfortunately its still a trope I see used all the time. Wonder Woman 1984 particularly irks me as its a franchise that usually is so empowering. Because they have to change Barbara from this

To this:

(Notice again frizzy hair, glasses, minimalistic makeup) I get it there was magic involved that fixed her vision and all that, but it's still an archaic way of painting Barbara as a loser.

Encanto doesn't make Mirabel a loser. Sure she doesn't have powers, but her wearing glasses doesn't play into that. She's not given any other nerdy stereotypical tropes like being a bookworm or overly clumsy. Her glasses don't inhibit her in any way. They don't exaggerate her being blind without them or anything. She just has glasses like a normal person

So can we stop with this trope. Theres a lot of people in the world who wear glasses as seen in these statistics I pulled up. It's not a funny trope, it's not a true trope. And it can do more harm than good.

Thanks for coming my Ted talk.

Here's a link to more on the trope by TV tropes:

[unironicduncanstan]

[UNI’S LPS LORE DROP BITCH]

so ,,, i used to collect littlest pet shop (mostly the 1st and 2nd gen ones bc yall i am old) and theyre long gone now but. these are some of the lps i remember playing with and giving distinct personalities growing up. most of them didnt have names at all so im just referring to them with numbers and pictures. also warning it gets pretty Dark bc weird kid culture but here we go;;;

the first is #11 and #86. they were my absolute FAVORITES, a mother and daughter duo, a lot of their stories revolved around the kitten getting lost and the mom having to get to her, or the kitten dying and the mom having a mental breakdown. 11 mostly acted as a single mom but sometimes id cycle out different potential dads, usually the dog lps bc i did Not care abt the actual scientific lack of interspecial breeding possibilities

#25. a basic white picket fence ass dude, really common choice as the ‘dad’ in the above situation, he also was not immune to being ‘killed off’ for angst. was also cheated on a couple times by 11 (THOSE WERE AUS THO,,, DONT CANCEL HER ITS OK TO KEEP STANNING)

#200. she was #11s best friend, I think her name might have been hannah??? anyways if the mom and dad were killed off sometimes she’d “adopt” #86. but usually only after #86 fell into the custody of a terribly neglectful parent for a while and had to be rescued bc again, in my gay neurodivergent little brain peace was never an option

#487. another love interest for #11, usually competed with #25 in an almost edward vs jacob type battle of cool brooding boy and average mcfamily man. he was a big fav

#672. number #487s sister! usually either helped him get #11 like a wingman, or i’d flip the cards and make her manipulative and sabotage 11 bc she didnt think she was good enough for her brother. the personality switches id give characters were rly like. getting the bad ending in a video game,

#44. YET ANOTHER,, LOVE INTEREST FOR THAT ONE CAT,,,, but it was one sided and he always lost. poor friend zone ass simp im sorry man idk why you deserved that 😔 i think sometimes though id pair him with #200/hannah at the end. cant get the girl date her best friend idk i was 8 my morals were not always applicable to the adult situations i created

#14. SO I,,,, i ended up with three of these. and in the end i made them triplets that performed for the circus and were unhappy in their life of exploitation. i think sometimes they would. form a sui pact to escape their torment.

#137. HIS NAME WAS FUCKEN CHEESE

Groovy goat / unnumbered. I remember she was spanish to me but spoke mostly english, this decision was made bc i was an extremely white american child, and she was almost always involved somehow in a story bc she was my favorite design ever. anyways she usually was a model that would give a struggling lps a ‘makeover’ like that one scene in any dramatic disney live action film ever made

#464. another fav bc of her design omg. she was like a little sweetheart and would often play the role of ‘baby’ for any species i didnt already have designated ‘babies’ for. BUT, when i’d play with the other hamsters (we’ll get 2 them in a sec), i made them all the same age and theyd all crush on her at the same time lmao the DRAMA

#34, #35, #36. they were brothers and in order from left to right;;; biggest brother and a leader+positive role model, then the punkish middle brother that didnt like to listen and would often get them all in trouble, then the youngest nerdy brother that was naive and soft and did w/e he was told. they stuck together thru all their antics, except when #464 was involved, then theyd have a classic ‘fighting over a girl then realizing thats ridiculous’ arc. rly loved these guys cuz i always wanted a hamster so id pretend they were real animals sometimes too loL

#693. i got thsi in a mcdonalds happy meal but anyways she was a princess/queen/whatever and was very spoiled royalty. probably tried to behead some of the other lps idk. all she wanted was drama and money

#112. punk boy,,, usually paired with one of the ‘popular’ girls,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, oh my god did i government assign this dog duncan kin b4 td even existed yet

#48, #79 #42. !! HUGE FUCKEN BITCH ALERT !! (popular girls trio lol), i think a couple times i like, aged down #11 and got rid of the kitten for a ~highschool au~ where these girls bullied her but she ofc ended up stealing the middle ones man. and then other times i just paired the middle girl with #112 in a genuine ‘opposites attract’ ship . where were u guys when i was making duncney lps a thing tbh

#59. i love this guy but he was just an eccentric dork and mostly used for comedic effect

#43. love interest for #59 that he goofily fawned over till he eventually got the girl at the end of every story bc i loved cliches

#673. usually a mysterious adventurous girl from out of town that meets the mains in my story and befriends them/helps them out. also a close friend of the groovy goat character

“Paws off diary” Bull Terrier. ok this ones weird but he came in this lil electronic diary right (you can google how it looks to see what i mean) and there was this like, plastic bubble on top that he came in and you could stick him or any other lps in there and shut it securely cuz it was a diary so i. used it as like. a prison almost where id trap lps and the other characters had to ‘save’ them like they were rescuing a princess from a tower or smth. but it was usually just this lil guy. also he was given a name but i was kinda cheating skjdfsdf it was, “Max” bc that was always his name in the commercials for the diary--

#646 and #647, twin orphans separated at birth. did a lot of princess and the pauper esque ‘long lost siblings from different worlds’ reunion stories with these two

#94. so this one came with a head bandage and a little medical looking case to carry them in. i used the carry case as like an ‘ambulance’ or med helicopter to put ‘sick’ pets in and carry them to the hospital, and this pet had chronic illness so they were always the roommate patient at the lps hospital.

#10 and #142, the goldfish couldnt be taken out of the bowl if i remember correctly so. he felt sad and isolated but the seahorse was his best friend who was able to go anywhere so id stick him in the bowl with him a lot to hang out n make him feel better. solidarity

#463. i LOVED her design, so i used her a lot as just a friend to whoever i was playing with. she was also one of the bigger birds so shes the only one i remember really utilizing as a ‘this character can literally fly’ plot device. she also might have been magic i dont remember. ik whenever i did the circus story she was always in it

#37, #38 and #39. i lost the ‘girl’ one early on, like completely lost it and never found it again so idk what happened to it. so the story was the other two were brothers in a constant search for their long lost sister. sometimes id either have another lps be their sister or make a ‘found family’ trope out of somebody

#331. i had two of these and they come with little hats but i lost one of the hats so. evil twin story babey the regular one was a nice old pirate guy but the one with the hat was evil and nobody could ever tell the difference

#641, IM THE TRASH MAN! I START EATIN GARBAGE,

[365days365movies]

February 2, 2021: Pretty Woman (1990)

ALL RISE FOR THE KING AND QUEEN OF ROMANCIA!

First, we bow to the Actor King of Romancia, Richard Gere. Gere is a DYNAMO of romantic movies, having starred in The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, American Gigolo, An Officer and a Gentleman, Sommersby, Autumn in New York, Chicago, Shall We Dance?, Runaway Bride, and of course, Pretty Woman. He was crowned king of this fictionation both because of his film prowess, and because DUDE HAS DATED A LOT OF FAMOUS PEOPLE GODDAMN

Second, we bow to the Actress Queen of Romancia, Julia Roberts.

Roberts’ resume is equally romantic, including films such as Notting Hill, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Eat Pray Love, Steel Magnolias, Mystic Pizza, Runaway Bride, and of course, Pretty Woman. She was crowned queen of this fictionation because, I mean...it’s Julia Roberts, man. Who else was gonna be queen, Meg Ryan? She’s too busy ruling the Holy Romance Empire.

Yes. Yes, I will be visiting the Holy Romance Empire soon.

Anyway, one of the advisors to this great land was the now sadly passed Garry Marshall, a seasoned romantic movie director, responsible for The Princess Diaries (and its terrible sequel), Beaches, Runaway Bride (shit, should I watch this one?), and those bad holiday romance movies from the late 2000′s. You know, Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve, Mother’s Day? Yeah, that’s the guy.

Marshall was appointed an advisor of Romancia because of his role as director of the film...you know.

Enough navel-gazing; let’s get into Pretty Woman, shall we? I, for one, am looking forward to venturing further into the land of Romancia! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start at a party where...George Costanza?

Huh! Phil Stuckey (Jason Alexander), a lawyer and kind of an asshole, is romancing women at a party, held on the behalf of Edward Lewis (Richard Gere), a businessman from New York. However, he’s currently in California away from his unhappy girlfriend back east, who’s feeling a tad neglected by the constantly busy Edward.

Meanwhile, on a less-than-great side of town lives Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts), a prostitute working the mean streets of Hollywood. Making her way to the red-light district, she enters the Blue Banana Club (which is...a name, that’s for sure), where she finds her roommate Kit De Luca (Laura San Giacomo). Laura’s unfortunately spent their rent on drugs, during the height of the cocaine epidemic in Hollywood.

The two meet each other on the street, where Edward’s lost, and struggling with Phil’s stick-shift Lotus Espirit. She offers to give him directions for money, and he reluctantly accepts. She gets in, and guides him back to his hotel. As he struggles to drive, she displays her knowledge of cars from back home. He then offers to drive the car for him, and also shows her prowess as a driver. Which...is pretty neat.

He asks how much she makes in her profession, as the two roll up to his hotel. As they begin to part ways, he asks her instead to accompany him into the hotel. She’s about as charmed and gawky as I would be going into a sick-ass hotel like that. The elevator in it has a FUCKING SOFA INSIDE, YES PLEASE

Edward’s a little embarrassed by her gawking, but they quickly get past it. Edward’s graveyard-still complacency is contrasted by her manic pixie energy. Not that she’s a manic pixie dream girl...I think. It’s more of a “rock-and-balloon” relationship deal. When Vivian busts out the condoms (she’s a “safety-girl”), Edward instead says he wants to “talk.”

During this talk, it’s revealed that his girlfriend has officially broken up with him, leaving him conspicuously single. He asks if she can stay the entire night, and she agrees for a price, to which he gladly agrees. They spend the night getting to know each other, although Edward is doing business during much of it. And she’s watching TV, and it gives off these kinda weird daddy-daughter vibes (not kink-shaming, mind you), and it’s...mildly uncomfortable.

This quickly progresses into her beginning to seduce him, and the two presumably have sex. We cut away just before anything happens, though. Afterwards, Edward takes a shower, as Vivian falls asleep, taking her wig off for the first time.

The next morning, Edward talks to Phil about an upcoming business purchase, when Vivian walks into the room. He’s ordered breakfast for them. ALL OF THE BREAKFAST. Seriously, everything on the menu. Motherfucker, do you KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE ROOM SERVICE IS? WE GET IT YOU’RE RICH

He reveals just how rich he is, noting that he buys companies on the brink of failure, and then sells pieces of the companies he buys. Vivian equates this to a chop-shop, which seems extremely accurate. On another call, Phil tells him that it would be better if he had a date. And it looks like...he already has one.

Yeah, Phil “hires” Vivian to be his girlfriend for a week. For $3000, she accepts, and I feel just a little icky. And yet...I dunno, we’ll see. He’s doing this purely to avoid romantic attachment, which is a little weird, but understandable? Maybe?

At this point, we get one of the most iconic scenes in the film, as the uptight women at a Rodeo Drive store tell her to leave, like assholes. They’ll get their comeuppance, though. OHHHHHH, THEY’LL get it. This compounds when the hotel manager, Barnard “Barney” Thompson (Héctor Elizondo), questions her presence there. And while it seems that he’s going to kick her out, he actually helps her out with an outfit.

Meanwhile, Edward’s business deal begins to go somewhat south, until Edward takes advantage of GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION. Anyway, Vivian goes to a local department store, where Barney’s friend Bridget (Elinor Donahue) helps her out with a cocktail dress. When she heads back, Barney acts like a bro once again and teaches her proper etiquette, Emily Post style.

Edward heads back to the hotel, where Vivian is waiting for him. And she looks cuuuuuuuuuuute. Edward thinks so, too, and they head to the corporate dinner. There waitselderly businessman James Morse (Ralph Bellamy), and his grandson David (Alex Hyde-White). We get a taste of just how vicious of a businessman Edward is, and Vivian makes a much better impression on the Morses than Edward does. Also, Eddie’s kind of a sociopath, huh? Or, at least, he has some sociopathic tendencies. I dunno his pure emotionlessness is rubbing me a weird way.

After the dinner goes VIOLENTLY south, the two begin to relate to each other a bit more. He notes that he prefers not to bring emotion into business, although he apparently does like Mr. Morse. He also notes that his father died a month ago, but it doesn’t appear to affect him much. Still he heads downstairs to get some air. Later, Vivian gets the bellhop, Dennis (Patrick Richwood) to help her find him, and she does. He’s playing piano like a GODDAMN MANIAC HOLY SHIT! Just like, “Don’t mind me, I’m just playing an operetta to PUT THE KNIFE FEELINGS TO SLEEP IAMTHEZODIACKILLER.” This manic performance is followed by the two just...fuckin’ on the piano. They just FUCK IN THE LOUNGE RIGHT ON THAT PIANO JESUS CHRIST GUYS

The next morning, post-musex, they go to get outfits together, in which Gere buys a massive set of outfits, and we get the first makeover montage this month! He also flashes even more sociopathic flair with a clothing store owner, goddamn. And that’s...when we get the song.

I mean, we had to get this song in here at some point, right? She also engages in the most iconically HUGE moment of the film. You know what I’m talking about, and it’s beautifully cathartic, my Lord.

Meanwhile, at work, Edward’s starting to...lose it, I guess? As Phil’s encouraging him to close in on Morse for the kill, Edward’s beginning to grow a heart. And may I note that he’s been in this relationship for TWO DAYS. Jesus, buddy, you’ve really never had a meaningful relationship, huh? They eventually go to a polo match for business reasons, here Phil finally meets Vivian. Vivian also notices that none of the high-society people here seem like, well...friends.

Turns out that David Morse is one of the polo players, and Vivian starts to speak with him. Phil, meanwhile, notices this, and suspects her of being a corporate spy. And Edward, like an ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE, tells her that Vivian’s a prostitute. Phil LITERALLY IMMEDIATELY GOES AFTER HER, and solicits her like a fucking CREEP.

This obviously very much upsets her, and she chews Edward out back at the hotel. And the argument that follows IMMEDIATELY puts me on Vivian’s side, because Edward’s being a sociopathic douchenozzle. Goddamn. She rightfully wants to leave, and he just lets her. And here’s the real kicker; she doesn’t take the money.

And that’s when Edward sincerely apologizes to her, as best as he can. And yeah, he’s a little sociopathic, but I can see that the dude is trying? The two make up, and once again open up to each other. Edward starts to realize, in turn, that he legitimately has feelings for her. And we head into the third act of the film.

The next day, Edward leaves work early to go on a date with Vivian, and Phil asks if the date is with “the hooker.” And Edwards flashes him a look that’s just...knifey. I’m still not convinced he isn’t the Zodiac Killer. He takes her to an opera in San Francisco, before which we get this scene.

Adorable. God, I love Vivian. Also Dennis and Barney are the best, and they’re super fucking invested, and I am HERE for it. Their date to the opera is...sublime. Understand, my girlfriend and I watched this entire film together, and we’re both in love with Vivian and the opera after it. Imma take her to the opera on a date one of these days, I swear it.

That night, they play chess together, and Edward actually takes the following day off. He also actually sleeps in a bed for once, instead of going to work. And this is when my girlfriend the following phrase:

Is he sculpting her, or is she sculpting him?

OK, that fantastic question is one of the reasons we’re together, but also a very interesting point. Lemme explain here. This is very much a Pygmalion story in a few ways. While not a straight adaptation by any means, this film is definitely taking a few ideas from the Pygmalion trope. See, if you don’t know, Pygmalion’s a Greek myth about a sculptor who falls in love with his statue. It’s been adapted multiple times throughout the history of the arts, but the most prominent version of this was the stage musical My Fair Lady, famously adapted into a film starring Audrey Hepburn in 1964.

And again, a lot of adaptations of that, too. While Pretty Woman isn’t explicitly an adaptation of either work, the themes are still present in the work. So, yeah, it’s a good point. In this version, she’s changing him as much as he’s changing her. The sculpture is sculpting the sculptor. Which is cool.

And then, as we had that cute little revelation, Vivian tells Edward that she loves him. And OH FUCK. It’s the last day. And when he says he doesn’t want this to be the last of them together, she takes it as romantic. But when he essentially proposes making her a beck-and-call girl, putting her up in an apartment and hooking her up with dresses...she’s understandably not interested. She says that, as a little girl, she dreamed of a white knight that would sweep her off her feet and take her away. But Edward isn’t that knight.

Have I mentioned how much I love Vivian? Because Vivian’s fuckin’ fantastic, Jesus Christ.

Edward decides to leave, and says that he’s done all he can at this point. He leaves, and she’s shattered. Kit, meanwhile, comes to visit her at the hotel, and she admits that she’s fallen in love with him. While Kit’s initially worried about it, she says that they could maybe settle down and buy some diamonds and a horse. I also love Kit.

Meanwhile, at the meeting with Mr. Morse, Edward turns the tables on Phil and his yes-men, and asks to speak with Mr. Morse alone. Phil’s gobsmacked by this, but agrees. Once they’re alone, Edward admits that he no longer wishes to buy his company and destroy it. Instead, he wants to help him rebuild his company. And Morse agrees, telling Edward that he’s proud of him.

Phil, EXTREMELY irritated by this, and decided to make his way to talk to Edward at the hotel. And that’s when he finds Vivian. FUUUUUUUUCK. As expected, Phil tries to r*pe her, and that’s when Edward shows up, and BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM.

Edward tells Phil off, calling him an EVEN BIGGER sociopath than he is, and kicks him out. Friendship ended with Phil. Now Vivian is his best friend. But despite this, Vivian still realizes that their relationship, at least the one she wants, seems impossible. Conceding, and on his way back to New York now, Edward pays her, and tells her to call him if she ever needs anything. 

But he asks her to stay one more night with him, not because of money...BUT BECAUSE OF LOVE. And she replies that she can’t...and they part ways. Vivian goes to say goodbye to Barney, who still rules. He calls a cab for her, and says that she can visit them anytime. My girlfriend says that she would leave me for Barney, and I agree. I agree so much, because she deserves the best, and the best is Barney, and I could never BE Barney. 

I could never be Barney.

It’s over now, as the song in the background says, and Edward laments his lost relationship as the thunder rolls in. Vivian decides to finally go to San Francisco, and finish high school, inspired by Edward’s love and faith for her. She passes that faith onto Kit as she says goodbye. Fuuuuuuck, man, this goodbye hurts as well.

Edward goes to the lobby, and talks to Barney one last time. AND BARNEY TELLS EDWARD WHERE VIVIAN WENT, LIKE A GODDAMN CHAMPION. WHY CAN’T I BE AS PERFECT AS BARNEY????

He makes his way to her apartment, and buys flowers from a woman with a Cockney accent, WHICH IS A MY FAIR LADY REFERNCE! HOLY SHIT! He arrives in a white limo at her place, overcomes his fear of heights and climbs a fire escape in a metaphorical tower to rescue his princess. 

THAT’S HOLLYWOOD, BABY! And it’s Pretty Woman as well. That was a very heartwarming film, and I’m very glad that I watched it! Is it perfect? Ehhhhhhhh, see you at the Review.

[whoacanada]

I will forever associate your username with that incredible Surprise Royalty!Jack Zimmermann fic. I love it in its entirety!

Ahhhh yes my royalty!AU <3 

The Princess Diaries was extremely formative so I’m a sucker for anything with ‘regular person finds out they’re secretly a prince/princess’. 

I really wish I’d been able to go full force on that one, I was working on too many little prompts at the time that I never managed to flesh out the little scenes I wanted to add in part three: Bitty getting a royal makeover, Jack being an amazing politician and actually trying to enact change, Bitty coming back to Samwell with a small army of plainclothes security. . . 

Then there was a version where Bitty is royal on his mother’s side because Moo-Maw was the secret daughter of the king of a (fake) Norwegian county, and now since the country has no real heirs they want to repatriate the members of Bitty’s bloodline.

(Also the older King, Moo-Maw’s half bro, wants to introduce the country to Bitty as a gay prince because he’s been hiding his own partner for like 40 years and wants to be done with the charade lol)

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004)

Somehow The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement manages to be even less original than the first installment.

Set five years after the events of the first film, Queen Clarisse (Julie Andrews) is getting ready to step down and hand her rule down to Mia - but there’s a problem. Antiquated, barbaric Genovian laws dictate no woman can ascend to the throne unless she is married. Mia (Anne Hathaway), now 21, has 30 days to get hitched. Otherwise, power-hungry Viscount Mabrey (John Rhys-Davis) will steal the throne. While she is attracted to the handsome gentleman she was flirting with at her birthday party (Chris Pine as Lord Devereaux), Mia rejects him when she learns the man is none other than Mabrey's nephew!

This film is boring. It lasts nearly two hours and the plot should have been resolved within 15 minutes. Why does the country insist she marry? She isn't even dating anyone... Oh, wait. Remember the last film's conclusion? That’s right, Mia did have what appeared to be the beginning of a romance with her best friend Lilly’s brother... who has vanished without a trace! Fine, fine. Without the premise, there'd be no movie. Still, we're following a 21-year-old Anne Hathaway (no makeover montage in this film, she’s beautiful from beginning to end) trying to find a partner. Hmm. I wonder if she'll end up with the uncharismatic bore that is Andrew Jacoby, Duke of Kenilworth (Callum Blue)... or the guy played by Chris Pine she had an immediate attraction to? I don’t even understand the dilemma here. Why isn't Nicholas her first choice? Does she think he'll be as evil as his uncle and somehow overrule her decisions or something?

When the film isn’t dredging through this lame political romance angle thing, it’s going through every obvious plot point you would expect in a sequel to The Princess Diaries. There are some lame “scandals” where Mia gets her picture taken in compromising positions, just like in the first movie. There are sequences where she tries to do proper queen behavior or fulfill her royal duties, but struggles with them due to her crippling clumsiness - again! Oh, but this time they mix it up with a lame bachelorette party that’s actually an excuse to have a teen pop star come in and do a musical bit with Julie Andrews (I guess Raven needed to sell some records or something).

There’s really not a lot going on here. The few shining stars are the actors, who are charming and likable despite their roles and lines. It’s hard to dislike Chris Pine and Anne Hathaway because they’re both attractive and young. The side plot between Queen Renaldi and her head of security, Joseph (Héctor Elizondo) is nice. That’s pretty much it.

Even with low expectations, this forced sequel is a chore. The Princess Dairies 2 is one of those movies you can judge from the cover of the DVD. You can see the desperation right there. Take a look. Do you see that cat with the tiara in the lower left corner and that poodle covering its eyes with its paws in a comical way? Those animals have nothing to do with this plot. They’re there because little girls like fluffy animals. This film could've used scenes with Fat Louie (that’s the name of Mia’s cat) wearing a crown because animals wearing hats and the idea of a royal canine ruling a country are funny. Well, maybe not in Garfield 2: A tale of 2 Kitties, but in theory, anyway.

The Princess Diaries 2 is overlong, dull, uninspired and kind of sad. There’s a tremendously talented cast given nothing to work with. Even for little girls - the people for whom this film was made - I can’t recommend it. (Fullscreen version on DVD, September 25, 2014)

[susandsnell]

i tried to watch the princess diaries as an adult a month ago and i was just appalled. i am SO so so relieved i missed that, and a number of other similar movies, as a little girl. it's insane to me how much stuff aimed at girls involves vigorously mocking girls' appearances until they conform or highlighting that the heroine is good in part because of her perfect appearance. then people are like if you don't like the thing you hate women. uhhhhhhhh

man oh man I’m glad you missed it too, because do I have Unpopular Opinions on it. The 90s-early 2000′s trope of the “glasses and ponytail = ugly and Must Be Changed To Be Worthy Of Love” (which was best lampooned in Not Another Teen Movie, which is very stupid and very funny and surprisingly apt in its criticisms of the more damaging aspects of the genre, also Baby Chris Evans) is bad enough on its own but Princess Diaries strikes me as particularly heinous for a few reasons, namely the younger audience at which it’s aimed and the particular content of The Makeover in the context of the plot. 

(And disclaimer, I love Julie Andrews as much as the next gal, and Anne Hathaway’s pretty cool and all that.) 

And yes, maybe I’m bitter and personally biased because growing up teased for my very Semitic curls + told how much prettier I’d look with straight hair (and also having Princess Diaries comparisons explicitly made, positively, the times I did change things up), but there’s something that just crosses the damn line about how Mia is only seen as worthy of being a princess + gets her Cinderella moment (in that she makes Big Entrances in pretty outfits and dances + hobnobs with the Elite, nigh unrecognizable to the overlooked girl she was before, I wouldn’t dare insult Cindy’s character by comparing them otherwise)  when she has her eyebrows plucked and her hair straightened and her glasses taken off. Anne Hathaway is whitebread and gentile as they come, but there’s something distinctly...uncomfortable about associating her “overcoming her awkwardness” (which is largely in her personality!) and “becoming a true princess” with getting rid of features like thick eyebrows and less-than-eurocentric straight hair....yeah. This isn’t like Cinderella where the dress is (in the Disney versions, at least) a connection to her mother and then a symbol of her equality/deserving nice things as much as any other girl in the kingdom. This is a girl’s natural features being equated with lacking social graces or worthiness to be a princess.

And inevitably, this means you tell young girls in your audience who have said features, who don’t fit the standards you’re setting, sorry, you aren’t worthy. Couldn’t they have just had Mia have to learn courtly mannerisms and diplomacy from Julie Andrews because she’s an awkward American teen or something? Make it more of a mildly-less-problematic My Fair Lady horse race scene type dynamic (or hell, Shrek-meeting-Fiona’s parents) where her quirky adolescent American attitudes and mannerisms causes funny clashes with the propriety of state dinners and such? There’s no damn reason to have this except to implicitly send violent messages about a very particular set of beauty standards. 

and the funniest is like when people are like disliking media aimed towards women is inherently misogynistic...no???? yet again people conflate liking the thing with it automatically being feminist and progressive and??? Just because a thing is Marketed Towards Girls doesn’t shield it from criticism, although I get the knee-jerk defensiveness because of the way femininity is derided.

There is literally nothing feminist about the content of The Princess Diaries??? Not once does Mia learn anything about politics or leadership, or shit, I don’t know, Genovian economics, and to be fair the film is like, clearly written on a level for five to eight year olds, so it’s Not About That, but even so the messages are genuinely damaging for girls in that impressionable age group! The frankly aggressive mocking of her features and overhaul of them is equated with her character growth! 

This is probably pretty disorganized, but yeah. Blegh. 

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #185 - The Princess Diaries

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: I think so.

Do I remember it: I remember that it exists and that I saw it.

Did I see it in theaters: No

Format: Blu-ray

This film was nominated by @princessofsunnydale for my first Epic Movie (Re)Watch poll, so it only feels right that I should dedicate it to her.

1) I have not watched this film in AT LEAST 10 years. It’s probably closer to 12 or 13 (although I do remember the soundtrack well because I own it). So in a lot of ways this like a first viewing.

2) There’s a nice sense of place which is immediately established around Mia’s home. It helps establish the character of both her and her mother with their eccentricities and charm.

3) Wait? This was produced by Whitney Houston? Huh.

4) Sandra Oh is in this?

Wow, the things you don’t notice as a child.

5) This is very telling of Mia’s experience at high school.

Mia: “Someone sat on me again.”

6) Anne Hathaway as Mia.

Immediately Hathaway is able to show off and incredible honesty when portraying Mia. You see her shyness and clumsiness wonderfully. But she’s not JUST the stereotypical of an awkward teenage girl. You see where Mia is comfortable, where she’s not, and that’s nice. Hathaway plays all facets of Mia’s personality wonderfully well, bringing a wonderful inquisitiveness and hart to what is the strong base of the film.

7) Ugh, this crap.

Queen Clarisse [upon seeing Mia for the first time]: “You look so [pause as she tries to find a compliment for her appearance] young.”

The trope of, “girl who is not traditionally beautiful absolutely NEEDS a makeover so her outer beauty matches her inner beauty,” can die a horrible and painful death. What the heck is wrong with Mia? She wars glasses, she has big hair, and eyebrows which are compared to Brooke Burke’s. What the heck is wrong with Brooke Burke? I’m tired of films making it seem like this isn’t attractive. I think Mia is GORGEOUS even before her transformation.

8) If this line isn’t iconic for my generation I don’t know what is.

(GIFs originally posted by @animations-daily​)

9) I like that Mia loses her shit instead of being like, “Oh, I’m a princess! My life is a fairytale!” She realizes the real world implications of this and the pressure it puts on her.

Mia: “Just in case I’m not enough of a freak already, let’s add a tiara!”

10) According to IMDb:

Mia's cat, Fat Louie, was Anne Hathaway's pet in real-life. Four different cats played the role. One who allowed people to carry it, one who could sit still, another who would jump, and the last one, who sits on the envelope at the end of the movie.

11) Julie Andrews as Queen Clarisse.

Julie Andrews is a legend of cinema and brings the same kind of focus to her role as Queen Clarisse as she would to Mary Poppins. Clarisse is good at being a formal stuck in the mud while also being warm and sympathetic. You can see her heart, the empathy she has, and it is not that much of a stretch for her relationship with Mia to grow into another strong fundamental of this movie. It’s a stand out performance in the film and a nice addition to the veteran actresses’ resumé.

12) Um…what!?

Queen Clarisse: “You have a cousin who’s a Contessa. Formerly known as Bartholomew. Actually we call him Pookie.”

I had to google this to make sure a Contessa is always a woman and they are. And this might not be a big deal NOW but I am pleasantly surprised to see that they referenced the fact Mia has a transgender cousin in a 2001 Disney film (even if there was a pronoun slip).

13) Hector Elizondo as Joe.

Elizondo is director Garry Marshall’s lucky charm and features in nearly all of the director’s films. He’s pretty amazing in this, able to play Joe as someone who is intimidating and professional but WILDLY sympathetic to Mia. You can tell he cares for her and Queen Clarisse deeply even if he’s not showing it in the most massive of ways. It’s quiet but deep and at times very moving. Also he’s a badass.

Lily: “You know you look like Shaft?”

Joe: “Yes.”

14) This is an interesting visual I wish had been explored a bit more. Why is this guy so obsessed with M&M’s?

15) If I haven’t said it before, Mia is pretty cool. She knows cars, art, has a wonderful sense of humor, is a rock climber, and just a wonderfully well rounded/full breathing character.

16) One of the most underrated small characters in this film is Mia’s gym teacher.

Mia [playing soccer]: “I can’t do this, I’m a girl.”

Gym Teacher Harbula: “What am I, a duck!?”

17) I have a fundamental philosophical issue with putting such emphasis on being “proper” and all that crap. Who determines what is “proper” and why is looking a certain way, standing a certain way, and sitting a certain way so much more important than treating people well? I hate that.

18) The relationship Joe has with Clarisse is VERY nice, but according to IMDb:

The on-screen relationship between Queen Clarisse Renaldi (Julie Andrews) and Joseph (Hector Elizondo) was not scripted. The dance scene, and the underlying affection was added by the two. According to Hector Elizondo, "We felt that a romance after fifty was important to tell, and it can be sensual and sexy while keeping your clothes on."

19) Larry Miller as Paolo.

Miller is another frequent collaborator with director Garry Marshall and an incredible character actor, stealing the entire film with his scene as Paolo. Committed absolutely to his character, Miller has a lot of fun in an absolutely hysterical role. I don’t remember most of the fine details of this film but I remember Paolo.

20) The makeover scene - while key and possibly iconic to a lot of people - ties into what I talked about in note #7.

Paolo: “You will be beautiful!”

She already IS beautiful you jerk! Why are glasses ugly? Why is her bushy hair ugly? And of course, this crap!

Queen Clarisse [after Mia’s makeover]: “Better, much better.”

NO! NOT BETTER! DIFFERENT! NOT WORSE, BUT WHY IS THIS BETTER!? IT’S JUST DIFFERENT!

21) Similarly, Lily giving Mia crap for her new look is really crummy behavior from a best friend.

Lily: “Oi. Who destroyed you.”

Lily is a fundamentally bad friend in these moments. She shouldn’t judge Mia for her makeover anymore than Queen Clarisse should judge Mia for her pre-makeover look. Basically: don’t judge people for their appearance, whether they meet traditional standards of beauty or not. Let them look however the heck they want to look.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

22) I love this line.

23) One thing I love in films is when they embrace the visual medium. We see Mia talking to Lily, we don’t hear what she says, but we KNOW. We don’t need to hear. The message is: Lily knows everything the audience does now and she’s excited!

24) I kinda get high school bullies, but also not really. Is your self esteem so low that you really need to consistently make other people miserable/get them in trouble to feel better about yourself? For example: why does Mandy Moore so passionately call Mia out for wearing a hat JUST to get her in trouble. Mia is not hurting anyone and if the teacher cared enough he’d have already asked her not to wear it. It’s just stupid.

25) The biggest problem with this film I would say is the pacing. There are a number of scenes - specifically, princess lesson scenes - which are fun but don’t add to any of the characters or plot. They’re a little self indulgent. HOWEVER, they are also the most memorable scenes in the movie so cutting them would be a mistake. So I’m not sure what to say, actually. I’m just going to move on.

26) Wow. These films are so gay (not in a derogatory sense but in an actual homosexual sense).

Paolo [after the press learns Mia is a princess]: “I outed you! So to speak. I don’t mean to imply -”

FYI: I’d be so okay if Mia were gay or bi or anything. I need more representation in my life.

27) Things you don’t pick up on as a child.

Teacher Over PA: “Will the feng shui club please stop rearranging the tables on the front lawn?”

28) This was NOT scripted but instead a mistake made by Anne Hathaway that she rolled with.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

29) Man, Joe just has a ton of great advice.

Joe [after Mia asks if she should quite being a princess]: “No one can really quite being who they are.”

30) According to IMDb:

When Mia accidentally sets the man's arm on fire, the flames were supposed to go out when he puts his arm in the ice bucket, but they didn't. Anne Hathaway panicked and threw the glass of water on it, which was not scripted.

31) Okay, throughout this film and its sequel I find that I am constantly impressed with how supportive the Prime Minister of Genovia is of Mia.

Prime Minister’s Wife [after Mia eats too much of the frozen cream]: “She didn’t realize it was frozen!”

Prime Minister: “Well what should we do?”

Prime Minister’s Wife: “We should do the same!”

[The eat as much frozen cream as Mia and begin to imitate her.]

32) The day out Mia and Clarisse have together is loads of fun. It really shows the development of their relationship and just how deep a connection they have. How Clarisse is able to forget being proper now and then because Mia comes first as her granddaughter. It’s a truly wonderful sequence.

33) Also, major props to the amount of BS-ing Clarisse pulled to get Mia out of trouble with the police. SHE MAKES UP A KNIGHTHOOD ON THE SPOT AND THEY’RE SO FLATTERED THEY LET MIA BE!!! I love that.

34) Oh Mia…

Josh: “I hate phony publicity seekers.”

Don’t fall for that Mia! The guy didn’t even pay attention to Mia before she was a princess and now he’s all over her. Mia’s mom even observes that he was never nice to her! And I know this is a film and this creates conflict, but ugh it just hurts.

35) I DO remember the foot pop! It’s like the thing I remember the most!

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

36) Okay, let’s recap. Mia goes to the beach with a guy who she thinks likes her. Mia is used by the guy to get famous. Mia is harassed and stalked by paparazzi. Mia tries to take shelter in a changing booth. Mandy Moore exposes Mia’s naked body to the paparazzi who again further harass her. AND MIA IS THE ONE IN TROUBLE!?!??!?!?!?!?!

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

The only thing she did wrong was not tell Lily she wouldn’t be on the show. She even told Lily’s brother to make sure she didn’t just ditch him! But no, it’s, “I’m giving up the crown because I messed up.” Forget that!

37) God bless Joe.

Clarisse [about Mia’s being manipulated]: “Why didn’t she have enough common sense to deal with this?”

Joe: “She’s only fifteen.”

38) I just realized how I have yet to talk about how awesome Heather Matarazzo is in this film.

She plays Mia’s best friend Lily with wonderful enthusiasm, stealing a number of great scenes from the film. She’s funny, able to show her vulnerability, makes her honest, and has a wonderful chemistry/relationship with Hathaway/Mia. It’s just another part of what makes the film fun.

39) I really appreciate that Michael is not Nice Guy™. He doesn’t whine about “the friend zone” and he doesn’t go out of his way to make Mia feel guilty for not liking him back. He’s a bit of a tool when she asks him out but he’s hurt in that moment and doesn’t necessarily want to open himself back up. He could go on and on about how he’s always been there for her and Mia’s given him nothing or some bullshit like that. I like it.

40) Get wrecked, Mandy Moore’s character (I don’t remember her name)!

(GIF originally posted by @stydixa)

41) It took me until almost the end to finally put to words that this film isn’t about Mia being pretty or even about her being a princess. It’s about her gaining some agency in her life, a little confidence, and actually taking control of things. That’s WAY more interesting than, “Oh, you were born a princess. Let’s do only princessy things from now on!”

42) Wow, I did not expect something this deep in The Princess Diaries.

Mia’s Father [via letter]: “Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something is more important than fear.”

43) Mia showing up as she does to the ball removes the support of “proper” appearance. She is a mess right now, all she has is her words and her decision to convince these people she should be queen. And she rocks it.

44) Honestly I’m more invested in Joe & Clarisse’s relationship than Mia & Michael’s, but at least she got her foot pop.

The Princess Diaries held up much better than I was expecting. Hathaway is pretty freaking great, as is Julie Andrews, and the film just has this incredible beating heart and message of confidence to it. Sure, it falls victim to some tropes of the genre (the makeover stuff will forever bother me in all movies), but it transcends others (Mia’s boyfriend at the end is not a Nice Guy™). If you don’t have a taste for film’s which wear their hearts on their sleeves, then maybe you should avoid this. But the rest of you? You may find that you like it more than you first expected to.

[chaos-shrine]

Lucca’s mom: belated thoughts on Chrono Trigger

My deep, abiding love for Final Fantasy IV was the entire impetus behind me getting a PSX when I was 16. Square had just released a new translation in a two-disc set alongside Chrono Trigger. I had first rented FFIV when it was known as Final Fantasy II for the SNES, and I rented it obsessively until it was out of print. I had asked for it for every birthday and Christmas from the time I was about eight, and it could never be found. Were I asked to compile a list of the most important technological events of my teenage years, that re-release would make the top five.

I was primarily entirely in it for FFIV, and I plugged away at it between school and homework and yearbook meetings. My sister took up Chrono Trigger, and I half paid attention while I taught myself to code on the other side of the room. I didn’t know much about it—something something time travel something frog—but it both looked and sounded nice.

I was going about my business when I got distracted by the bouncy fanfare coming from the TV.

One of the sprites on screen had glasses and the biggest bangs I’d ever seen on a video game character. Apart from the outfit (though I did definitely have a bag like that) and the fact that her hair was purple, she looked like I did when I was eight.

“Who’s that?”

“Oh, that’s Lucca. She’s the scientist of the group. She likes robots.”

My heart grew three sizes. I was not into robots, but I’d taken to computers like a fish to water when I was seven. I’d been diagnosed as nearsighted about a year later, and my first pair of glasses were round frames that were almost too big for my face. By 13, the school librarian was apologetically asking my teacher to borrow me for a few minutes in the hope that I could figure out what was wrong with the library’s computer. (I couldn’t, but it was nice that they asked.)

I was entirely comfortable with this part of myself, but as I got older, I noticed that there was a surprising amount of pressure to somehow not be this way. Boy geeks could be boy geeks because they’d presumably become engineers or scientists or something equally prestigious. But women and girls shouldn’t be geeks; something was wrong with us if we were. It wasn’t just wrong—it needed fixing. If a girl or a woman on TV or in a movie was bookish and/or introverted and/or heaven forbid, wore glasses, there was a very good chance that some part of the plot was going to involve everyone finally discovering that she was Actually Beautiful All Along™ after she’d gotten a makeover.

(SIDE RANT: I’m not sure any single part of 21st-century popular culture has made me angrier than the Princess Diaries bit where Anne Hathaway tells the guy she’s been friends with her whole life that he “saw me when I was invisible” because he wasn’t a total ass to her prior to the makeover. SHE WAS NOT INVISIBLE. SHE JUST HAD GLASSES AND REALISTIC HAIR. I HATE EVERYONE. SORRY. BACK TO CHRONO TRIGGER.)

My sister, having eventually finished the game, assured me that Lucca underwent no makeover. That she loved robots and machines the whole time. I felt mildly vindicated, as though this game had struck a small blow for a person’s right to just be a geek without having it be something that needed “fixing.”

It took another 15 years or so before I actually sat down to play the game myself. I’d given my husband the DS version, thinking he’d like it (he did). Once he’d finished it, I borrowed it and played it myself.

She was so much more than I could have hoped for. I’d waited for so long for an RPG character who’d storm into a room yelling “nothing can beat science!” and I regretted not having played it when it was newer because she could have been part of my life so much sooner. When her father introduced her at the Millennial Fair as his “beautiful and smart daughter,” and didn’t couch either of those adjectives or play them against each other, my heart soared.

And then.

Partway through the game, as the crew rests around the campfire, Lucca takes the opportunity to reflect on a moment she’d change if she could. We are then literally transported back to her childhood, on the day her mother was seriously injured after being caught in one of Lucca’s father’s machines. The player is able to freely move modern-day Lucca around the house while her younger self is also present. Through that exploration, we can read her childhood journals. 

I've only played the DS version. I’m sure other versions have different text, and I don’t know what those are. I’ve done a lot of reading about this scene, and my understanding is that the general gist is the same: Young Lucca did not care for science, or technology, or robots, despite her father’s attempts to teach her about them. (Points to Dad for trying.) This is at odds with what we know about Lucca in the present day, and we’ll find out where the shift came from shortly, but before we get there, the diary entry indicates that she’s not interested in robots because “girls don’t need to know about that stuff.”

My soaring heart started to sink. As the scene plays out, it becomes clear that Lucca’s mother lost the use of her legs after her dress became caught in a machine that her husband built. Young Lucca was unable to shut it off in time, and we learn from subsequent diary entries that she blames herself and her disinterest in science and technology for her mother’s accident. If she had only known how to shut off the machine, she reasons, her mother would not have gotten hurt.

Well, that’s a lot to take in.

There’s an extra layer here, as well: in controlling present-day Lucca, the player has a chance to enter the machine’s correct password and prevent the accident from happening. The password (appropriately, “Lara”—Lucca’s mom’s name) must be entered using the console’s lettered buttons before the timer runs out. Overwhelmed by everything that was going on, I temporarily forgot that my DS had L and R buttons. I failed to help present-day Lucca save her mother.

You get to see the “if I’d only known how to work the machine” diary entry after failing to input the password correctly. At this point, I (the player) am personally feeling like I allowed this to happen (I realize that these people aren’t real). The narrative then explicitly spells out that the guilt from this incident is what changed Lucca’s mind and prods her into science and technology.

I was heartbroken and furious—less so because a game that, although serious, had been big on whimsy had suddenly hit me with a traumatizing, guilt-inducing industrial accident, and more because its creators had felt the need to “explain” Lucca. “Girls don’t need to know about that stuff,” they had her younger self write, even though her father had attempted to make it a regular part of her life. Where was she supposed to have internalized this? We never hear her mother’s views on technology, and we never learn about her peer group apart from the fact that she’s friends with Chrono. So where did a nine-year-old girl get this impression, and why was it so important to include here?

And why could we not just have a girl geek without having to explain her geekdom? Was it completely outside the realm of possibility that a young woman might just like robots without a dramatic, traumatizing life experience to explain it? It added a sad tinge to every fist-pumping moment I’d experienced earlier. Her cry of “nothing can beat science!” now carried the weight of someone who blamed her previous lack of scientific knowledge for something horrible.

It gave me some comfort to read that an original version of the game didn’t include the ability to prevent the accident. The intention was that Lucca was eventually supposed to realize that the accident could not be stopped and that she was always meant to become the Badass Robotics Queen of the World that I love so much. 

It took more reading, and the discovery that thwarting the accident still inspires her to learn about machines (so she can be doubly sure that nothing bad happens) to get me to calm down about the whole thing. The entire game is about how past actions can drastically impact the future, often in a sad way even when it’s the correct course of action. Lucca becomes wistful at the end of the game when she realizes that the party’s victory over Lavos erases the dystopian future that brought Robo into her life. Obviously, it’s better that this version of the future not come to pass, but, well, Robo (who doesn’t love Robo?).

But some things are just bound to happen no matter what. Thanks, Lucca.

[musiccosmosru]

After two years of anticipation, from the initial announcement that the bestselling Kevin Kwan novel was being adapted for film, to its social media–fueled open casting call, Crazy Rich Asians is finally making its way to theaters. Whether or not you’ve read the novel, the movie is sure to be a feast for the eyes (just watch the gloriously extra trailer). Ahead, here’s everything you need to know about this forthcoming spectacle.

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I haven’t read the book. What’s it about?

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan BUY

Courtesy

Crazy Rich Asians is a romantic comedy—the couple is already together at the start of the movie—but their relationship is challenged when regular New York City woman (albeit, you know, an economics professor) Rachel Chu is taken to meet her boyfriend Nick Young’s family in Singapore for his best friend’s wedding. Little does she know that Nick is actually from one of the country’s wealthiest families. Even worse, Nick’s stone-cold mother, Eleanor, doesn’t think Rachel is worthy of her son, and uses their visit as an opportunity to tear them apart.

Kwan’s glittery and quick-read debut novel, which was published in 2013, was well received and became an international bestseller. (It also didn’t hurt that the book conveniently dropped during prime beach-read season.) While the novel unfolds from the point of view of five characters—Rachel, Nick, Eleanor, and Nick’s cousins Astrid and Edison—the film focuses on Rachel’s experience.

In classic rom-com fashion, expect a parade of zany characters, outrageous party scenes, zingy dialogue, a makeover montage (but with a twist, this time), and plenty of wide-eyed bewilderment as Rachel becomes immersed in utter opulence. Plus, the high society of Singapore revels in boasting about real estate and flaunting status-revealing jewels; expect lots of brand-dropping and OTT settings. Imagine the befuddling awe of Princess Diaries meets the excessiveness of Great Gatsby, turned up to 11.

Who are the major players?

Fresh Off the Boat’s Constance Wu plays Rachel, girlfriend to the humble but wealthy-ass Nick Young, played by Henry Golding, who is one of the hosts of BBC’s The Travel Show (Crazy Rich Asians is Golding’s feature film debut). Nick’s imposing mom is played by the elegant HBIC Michelle Yeoh (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) and his fierce grandmother is played by Lisa Lu.

A slew of America-based talent (Ocean’s Eight’s Awkwafina, Silicon Valley’s Jimmy O. Yang, The Hangover’s Kim Jeong, The Daily Show’s Ronny Chieng, Glee’s Harry Shum Jr., Superstore’s Nico Santos) and exciting international faces (Gemma Chan, Chris Pang, Sonoya Mizuno, Remy Hii, Pierre Png, Fiona Xie, Jing Lusi) round out the vibrant, extremely hot ensemble. A more complete cast breakdown can be found here.

Warner Bros.

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I loved the book! Is it a series?

Yep! There are two more books in the Crazy Rich Asians trilogy: China Rich Girlfriend and Rich People Problems. (Heads up: This next part contains spoilers for those who haven’t read the first book or seen the movie yet.)

In 2015’s bestselling China Rich Girlfriend, Nick and Rachel make preparations for their own wedding. Rachel’s simple life has transformed into something akin to that of Asian royalty, but she’s still sad about not having her estranged birth father at the ceremony (it’s a whole backstory in the first book)—so she embarks on a mission to find him in Shanghai where he resides, which opens her eyes to another secretive world of wealth in Mainland China.

And in the last installment, 2017’s Rich People Problems, greedy members of the Young family clamor for Nick’s grandmother’s inheritance as she’s on her deathbed. Further drama ensues because Nick’s cousin Astrid is involved in a complicated romance. From Singapore to China, the trilogy’s finale goes out with a bang, involving travels to Hong Kong, the Philippines, and India.

Who is the director?

Jon M. Chu is the man behind the forthcoming Crazy Rich Asians film. The Chinese-American director is known for his splashy, energetic projects: He’s also directed Step Up 2 (2008), Step Up 3D (2010), Justin Bieber docs Never Say Never (2011) and Believe (2013); and Now You See Me 2 (2016). He recently tweeted that he’ll be directing a movie based on the Thai cave rescue of the young soccer team.

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Warner Bros.

Who are these “Crazy Rich Asians”?

Glad you asked! The film is about an ethnically Chinese family in Southeast Asia—in this case, Singapore and Malaysia, where much of the film was shot. Though non-speakers may not pick up on it, both Mandarin and Cantonese languages are spoken in the film. And while not everyone in the cast is of Chinese descent (Ken Jeong, for instance, is Korean), the film’s mother–son stars are Southeast Asian actors: Michelle Yeoh is Malaysian and Henry Golding is British-Malaysian.

Why does this movie feel significant?

Crazy Rich Asians is the first Hollywood film to boast an entirely Asian cast since 1993’s Joy Luck Club—that’s a shocking 25 years ago. There’s also a distinct pleasure watching Asian characters be unabashedly funny and romantic without being tethered to racial stereotypes and jokes.

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About her involvement in the film, Yeoh told ELLE.com: “This role is very important because it’s the first time…since Joy Luck Club, that we have an all-Asian cast [for a Western movie]. It’s important. We keep fighting, but we also have to have the right stories and all the right people who believe in us”

I’m sold. When’s it coming out?

August 15, 2018. Mark your calendar, and pre-order tickets here.

Will there be a sequel?

While there are two more Kevin Kwan novels in the Crazy Rich Asians trilogy, there hasn’t been an official announcement yet on potential film sequels.

Sanja Bucko/Warner Bros.

Anything else to know?

Do yourself a favor and eat something beforehand. The movie is basically a two-hour montage of people preparing and eating delicious foods—everything from sizzling street food to homemade, grandma-approved dumplings. Those with hangry appetites: You’ve been warned.

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Is there a trailer?

Yes! And it’s a good—no, great—one. Washboard abs, paparazzi flashes, island getaways, yacht parties, and a first class flight that looks like a spa: The teaser for Crazy Rich Asians is unabashedly too much, but in a good way. It depicts Rachel’s fish-out-of-water journey from her modest NYC life with her immigrant mother, straight to the extravaganza that is Nick’s sprawling Singaporean estate—one that he purposely kept a secret from Rachel until now.

Rachel’s friend Peik Lin (played by Awkwafina) provides lots of laughs, while Michelle Yeoh’s icy depiction of Eleanor Young immediately freezes any kind of joyous mood. Nods to Chinese culture also abound if you look closely—Rachel wears a red dress for luck, she plays a game of mahjong with Eleanor, and paper lanterns hang at the wedding. Like the trailer suggests, the Singaporean version of a royal wedding will be spectacular, and everyone’s invited to watch.

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The post Crazy Rich Asians Movie News, Release Date, Cast, Spoilers and Rumors appeared first on MusicCosmoS.

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Buy Barbie Furniture Sets - Quick Buying Guide

As the globe got involved in the computer system age, Mattel, which was the company that produced Barbie, has to adjust to these adjustments. This suggested setting up an official web site for individuals both young and old.

Visit Us For More Information About Buy Barbie Furniture sets Or To Buy http://www.barbie-collectible.com/product-category/barbie-dollhouse-furniture/

 The initial thing individuals will discover in the internet site are the brilliant colors and the songs having fun behind-the-scenes. Clicking on virtually anything on screen will certainly bring the individual to another space inside Barbie's play house that have different tasks.

 As an example, a person that prefers to most likely to the bedroom could read up on Barbie's diary or chat with other people. This includes fellow Barbie followers, which resembles signing up with a club where fellow hobbyists could talk about the same point especially how enjoyable and amazing this doll, could be.

 In another area of the house called the yard, kids can play an on-line video game such as dress up. The little woman can transform the clothing Barbie is using or even the hairstyle, makeup and also eyeshades.

 The website also has something similar to Itunes to make sure that youngsters can download and install the latest music and be hip just like Barbie. Devoted followers could also download and install and print a picture of Barbie which is better than cutting it out of a magazine.

 Most firm sites just speak about the current products as well as tasks. Barbie is extremely various because this permits kids to have fun and also appreciate provided the age.

 The features just mentioned are simply the tip of the iceberg so for those who intend to learn more, it wouldn't injure to long on and check out. The person can even come to be a participant by signing up for totally free to be able to obtain e-mails or simply bookmark the page to be able to visit it at anytime.

 Low Jeremy maintains. This web content is offered by Reduced Jeremy. It could be made use of only in its entirety with all web links consisted of.

 Remodelings wear restrict themselves to occasions alone. There are transformations for the winter too. A Christmas outfit can be on the schedule. You could make your Barbie have a transformation simply since it's a great breezy evening. The reasons for a makeover are countless and also the accessories to make the remodeling as genuine as feasible are limitless.

 Besides remodelings for Barbies, you could also have her good friend undertake a transformation. Alice remodeling, princess remodeling are some of the names generally given to the makeovers which her close friends opt for. You could style their hair and do their make-up. Barbie remodelings are outright fun.

 Remodeling, Barbie video games is the rage these days with the small kids that consider Barbie to be their best friend. These kids essentially grow up with their Barbie. Barbie transformation could suggest anything as drastic as dressing up your Barbie appear like a homely angel to making her resemble a celebration criticism.