#( its gonna result in broken bones ok )

[tmnt-obsessed-ace]

Lost But Never Found: Chapter 3, Its Getting Hard To Breathe

The week prior had been a roller coaster.

Leo had gone into the medbay, just to give Indigo a check up, to make sure his unconscious turtle friend was still ok.

He checked the vitals, heart rate was still good, he was breathing fine and everything else seemed normal.

Besides the broken bones, internal damage and the dozens upon dozens of scars that littered practically every inch of Indigo's body.

Leo shook the thoughts from his head, though his eyes drifted to the x-ray images sitting on the table, mocking him relentlessly.

After giving the turtle one last once over he walked over to the table, picking up the images yet again, for perhaps the hundredth time since they were printed.

Where to begin? Three fractured ribs, the severed ulna and fractured radius in his right arm? The obvious concussion?

Those were just the current injuries.

Looking at the images now it was so much worse than Leo originally thought. Broken bones that healed incorrectly like the dozens of tiny fractures in his upper arms, like something grabbed him and tried to crush him.

Or the absolute disaster of a right knee. It looked like the kneecap had almost been shattered. Torn muscles and scar tissue were surrounding the joint. It looked so easy to dislocate, like even just standing on it wrong could push the joint out of what's left of the socket.

How was he even walking on it?

The worst part is that it was recent, about two or three years old. Leo almost felt sick. Was Indigo forced to fight right after the injury? That's just pure vile! Doesn't Big Mama let her competitors rest after major injuries like that? The injury will only get worse if not!

Judging by how messed up the knee is, that's probably what happened.

God, Indigo was in the Battle Nexus for years! Fighting for as long as he could remember.

"I'm never gonna let Big Mama hurt you again." Leo suddenly said out loud, watching the slightly strained rise and fall of Indigo's chest with every breath he took.

The pictures were set back on the table, with the slider making a mental note to get a knee brace for Indigo for when he wakes up. That should at least help stabilize the joint a bit while letting him use the leg.

A soft beep sounded from the nearby machine. The blood analyzer, it seems it was finally finished after forty eight hours. Only reason it was forty eight was because Donnie got the first blood sample contaminated and the results were inclusive. So Leo did the second sample since his twin brother can build machines like they came from a comic book but a little blood makes him too queasy.

Regardless, the results were being printed so Leo was happy.

Once the paper was free from the printer, the slider snatched it while it was still warm. He looked it over, noticing something…

"What?"

You see the machine was primarily used to figure out blood type, gotta make sure any blood donations are from a compatible donor or else blood poisoning will happen and that's a nightmare to deal with.

But it can also check for diseases in the blood and even parentage.

Leo was staring at the results, slack jawed as his mind tried to process what he was seeing.

He grabbed the papers and sprinted out of the medbay, the rest of his family was in the living room rewatching the classic Jupiter Jim movies.

"Guys!" Leo screamed before tripping on the fallen pillows. He landed on the hard floor with a thud, all the papers scattering around the room.

"What is it?" Raph asked, suddenly concerned. "Are you ok?" Leo brushed himself off with a groan.

"Is Indy ok?" Mikey asked, climbing over Raph and fully prepared to race to the medbay. Donnie was tinkering with his cellphone, though he took one headphone off to listen in.

Leo hurriedly tried to gather up the papers, his stomach practically in his throat.

"Look at this!" He showed off the papers, gaining some looks of confusion. April and Donnie's eyes went wide.

"Oh my…no way, how did this happen?" Leo shrugged as Splinter walked into the living room with more buckets of popcorn.

"Dad! Dad, look! You gotta see this!" Leo shouted as Raph and Mikey still looked confused.

"Just a second Blue, let me set this down first!" Splinter said with a light chuckle. Leo didn't have time to wait.

"Indigo is a mutant! He's your son!" The slider shouted, the popcorn buckets all falling to the floor the second the words left Leo's mouth. Splinter whipped around, instantly getting the papers shoved into his face.

The old rat grabbed the papers, scanning it over and over expression morphing from confusion to horror in seconds. He covered his mouth with one hand, tears welling in his eyes.

"How is that possible?" Raph squawked, glancing towards the direction of the medbay.

"I-I don't know! The only turtles Draxum created were you four!" Splinter yelled, shaking like a leaf.

He suddenly bounded towards the medbay like his life depended on it.

The others followed suit and when they arrived, Splinter was sitting next to Indigo's unconscious body, practically vibrating with how hard he was shaking.

"A mutant?" Mikey asked "Like us?"

"Almost exactly like us. Except for some differences in the ooze used." Donnie explained, having taken the papers from Splinter and showing it to the youngest turtle. "Though I'm not exactly sure what species of turtle he is."

"No way…"

"But how? Why? Splints, didn't you say that Draxum's lab was completely destroyed when you were mutated?" April asked. Splinter nodded, but didn't stop shaking.

"Maybe he rebuilt it before we got there and bada bing bada boom Indigo!" It was a shaky idea but an idea nonetheless.

"Really Nardo? It supposedly took Draxum thirteen years to recover all his research, when and how could he create another turtle in that time? With papa's DNA no less!" Donnie added, though the concern laced in his voice was clear despite the heavy sarcasm.

"I was just suggesting!"

"Yeah well your suggestion is inaccuracte."

"Well how else did he become a mutant?"

"I don't know maybe he was an average turtle that ate an oozequito or something?"

"By he has Dad's DNA? How is that possible?"

"Yeah true."

"Maybe Draxum had some od dad's juice left over?"

"Splints are you ok?"

Splinter pulled Indigo into a gentle hug, looking at his children. "Boys." The rat said quietly. "There is only one possiblity. Indigo is one of Draxum's original…five experiments. And I left him behind. God what have I done?" He said, voice breaking into a miserable sob as he held his child in his arms.

"Pops its not your-"

"Yes it is Red! I should've seen him! I should've grabbed him! Then he he would…he wouldn't…I failed him, I failed my son…" That was it, Splinter was crying now, trying so hard to scoop Indigo up and hold im tightly in his arms, protect him from all the horrors of the world. He never should've been in the Battle Nexus, at the mercy of Big Mama and the ruthless hoardes of yokai.

Just like he was.

"I'm so sorry my son. I'm so sorry…"

His children all wrapped their arms around him and their brother, crying miserably while Indigo peacefully slept.

What if he never woke up? What if he…he…passed?

That would by far be Splinter's greatest failure as a father.

After all, Indigo wouldn't have been in the Battle Nexus, been beaten so badly, if Splinter had only noticed a fifth turtle in Draxum's lab.

But he was sure he only saw four even thirteen years later he still remembers only seeing four baby turtles.

Right?

Back in the present time, that same turtle was finally awake.

"What?" Indigo asked again, disbelief clear in his voice.

The rat pulled away and rubbed his eyes dry.

"I understand that this is quite a shock." How was he even supposed to respond to this? Indigo glanced at Leon, was this some kind of joke? The slider gulped, nervously shuffling from foot to foot.

"So uh…yeah you're our brother!"

"What do you mean by that? This…this has to be a joke! Right?"

Both the rat and turtle wore the same guilty expression on their faces. Like father, like son as the old saying goes. Though it was also fearful, like they expected him to explode. Indigo only felt confused.

Leon grabbed a clipboard from the nearby desk, handing it to Indigo. With a raised brow he took it and skimmed the sheet of paper.

It was some kind of table, with all kinds of numbers listed in the columns. Some of the numbers were similar between the two columns but aside from that he couldn't really understand what it meant. "So what does this have to do with anything?"

Leon took the clipboard back, flipping to the next page. "This is the one you gotta focus on Indy." Once the clipboard was once again handed to the shorter turtle his heart began to pound harder against his ribs.

Indigo (n/a), blood type O-, 65% DNA match to Hamato Yoshi.

The rat squeezed Indigo tighter, shame clear on his face.

Hamato Yoshi.

Indigo gently pushed the rat off of him, despite how his arms suddenly felt so heavy, shaking from the strain.

He collapsed into the pillows, vision blurring. A dull ache began to pulse in his skull, near his temples. Where did that come from? Did he get another concussion in the fight?

Take a breath and try to relax. A little difficult to do when your lungs feel like fire.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Easy, simple.

Hopefully the rat and Leon didn't notice how his breath waivered with each huff of his lungs.

"I thought…" The words clung to Indigo's throat. "I thought your name was Lou Jitsu?"

Leon snickered quietly, despite the grim look on his face.

The rat sighed, putting a hand on Indigo's shoulder. "That is just a stage name, Hamato Yoshi is my actual name." The turtle nodded, wincing as the ache in his head turned into a throb, spreading almost lazily through his skull like flowing water.

He tried to massage the pressure points, hands shaking the entire time till his arms eventually collapsed.

Hamato Yoshi.

He shoved the thought away, spots forming in his vision. "I…wha?" He slurred out, one hand pressed against his forehead as the pain intensified again.

His ears were ringing, drowning out the two of them. What was happening? It's like his brain was melting! He buried his head into his hands as hot electric shivers zipped down his spine.

Burning.

Everything was getting hotter and hotter.

Heart pounding against the turtle's ribcage, reigniting the burn with every thump.

Hamato Yoshi

Hamato Yoshi

Hamato Yoshi

That name sounds familiar.

But how.

How does that name sound familiar?

Why does it sound familiar?

The pain reached a peak, becoming blinding.

White hot yet ice cold.

Make it stop!

Make it stop!

Please make it stop!

It's too much make it stop!

God someone please make it stop!

The turtle's stomach lurched, twisting into knots.

God it felt like his skull was vibrating.

"Fuck." Indigo gasped, nearly choking on the word. He clawed at his head, trying to drown out the screaming pain in his mind.

Just as the pain was about to overwhelm him it suddenly vanished.

His eyes twitched, in perfect sync with his heart rate.

A cool, three-fingered hand rested on Indigo's shoulder, providing relief. "Woah woah, calm down Indy, it's ok!" When Indigo looked up Leon was giving him a soft look.

"Sorry." The slider only scoffed at the response. Leon pulled his hands off his head, there weren't any marks left behind. Indigo rubbed his eyes, sinking into the pillows with a dull oomph.

"You alright? That looked intense." Indigo blearily nodded, massaging his sore head. There was a soft knock on the doorframe, though it felt like a hammer was smacked into the turtle's forehead.

Indigo groaned, a string of curses under his breath.

"Is he ok?" A voice asked quietly. Upon looking up there was a much larger turtle standing in the doorway. He was big, broad and spikey and even had a snaggle tooth hanging over the right side of his mouth.

Wearing a bright red bandana and a nervous look on his face. But the strange part was how he was hunched over, arms pulled close to his sides. It was weird.

Like he was trying to make himself look smaller, less intimidating for some reason. Indigo raised a brow. "What are you doing?" He dared to ask, forcing himself to sit up. Now was not the time for rest even though he felt like he got pounded into the ground…again.

The big turtle perked up, honey brown eyes widening. He looked nervously at Leon, waiting for confirmation.

Leon in turn looked at Indigo.

"This is my…er, our big brother Raph!" With a simple 'come here' gesture, Raph cautiously walked over.

The red clad turtle stood a bit away from the cot, still trying to look smaller than he actually was. It was bizarre. Shouldn't someone his size be standing tall, shoulders out and head held high. That's how most of the other competitors acted.

"Hey little buddy, you feeling ok?" The big turtle asked, voice soft and restrained. Which only added to Indigo's confusion.

"What's wrong with you? I'm not gonna bite you if that's what you're thinking." He said curiously. Did this guy lose a stupidly easy match? It happens to everyone, no sense in dwelling on it.

Or maybe it was because of Indigo's status in the arena. He was one of the top five fighters after all so it's understandable to be intimidated. Or awestruck…

The large turtle looked taken aback. "Oh no! I just didn't want to scare you! I'm pretty big after all! I'm Raph by the way!" Indigo looked Raph over, he was maybe six feet tall max.

He couldn't help but laugh.

Both Leon and Raph were taken aback as he laughed harder and harder till the pain in his chest forced him to stop. With wheezing breaths he looked Raph dead in the eyes.

"Bitch are you serious? I fought opponents five, six, maybe even seven times your size regularly. I could take you in a heartbeat!" Both turtles looked stunned.

"Dude." Leon breathed out as Raph at least tried to relax.

"Anyways foul language aside, so how are you feeling Indigo? You doin ok?" Raph asked again in the same tone as before. Indigo rolled his eyes and threw the blanket off.

He stretched his legs, hissing as his right knee decided to be a bastard and locked. Damn it not again. Great! When its not one thing its another.

Whatever it will unlock in a few minutes anyway. Indigo hopped off the bed, staggering as his feet hit the floor, right knee threatening to buckle.

"Easy! Don't hurt yourself!" Raph yelped, trying to provide support but Indigo brushed him off.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Leon's arms were suddenly around his stomach, heaving him into the air.

"Oh hell no you are gonna rest!" The slider grunted, struggling to hold him up. Indigo sighed, grabbing Leon's arm.

"What are you doing?" Indigo rolled, using the momentum to briefly switch positions with the slider.

With a twist Leon was swept off his feet and chucked into the cot with a powerful spin from Indigo.

Leon landed on the cot with a whap. Indigo landed left leg first and once he regained his balance he leveled the slider a deadpan stare.

"You were saying?"

"You're bleeding!" Raph gasped, pointing to a stitched up gash on Indigo's right hip." Sure enough there was a dark crimson spot beginning to form against the stark white gauze.

"Eh no big deal."

"No big deal?" It really wasn't a big deal, it isn't near vitals so a little blood is really nothing.

"Raph please put Indy back on the bed." Stated Leon as he approached, teal medical gloves on his hands. A white stapler was held in hand, clacking dangerously. Indigo only scoffed at the device.

"Do you actually think that will scare me?" The question hung heavy in the air, the only other sound being the constant click clacking of the stapler. Raph carefully tried to approach Indigo, a pleading look on his face.

"You were hurt really bad Indigo, you gotta rest so you can heal. So let's get you back in bed so Leo can nicely patch you up again ok?" The shorter turtle rolled his eyes. Raph gently tried to nudge him back to the cot.

"It's just a little blood, so like I said it's no big deal. It will probably stop bleeding in a few minutes." With that said he staggered out of the medbay, despite how his right knee was absolutely not cooperating. Get with the program already!

The room was completely purple. Purple floor, purple walls, purple lights. The owner of this room really liked the color. Complex machines in all stages of construction were scattered around the room. Massive computer monitors were mounted to the walls, some kind of a human looking girl with insanely long teal ponytails was displayed on one of the monitors.

How does she not trip over her own hair? It looked like a video. Before Indigo could go over to investigate further there was a loud buzz.

A soft blue glow materialized in the air right in front of the turtle, stopping him in his tracks. Leon's head popped out of the swirling vortex, a scowl on his face. One hand holding the stapler came through as well.

Indigo crossed his arms, leveling the slider a glare of his own. "It's just a little blood Leon, save the medical supplies for someone who actually needs it." The boy's face morphed into shock, then something else. A sad look, Leon's face fell into a familiar look. One that was often painted on the older competitors' faces whenever he would often come back beaten and bloody.

It was the look of pity.

"Oh boy. Indy if we run out of medical supplies we can just raid an urgent care. We don't have to worry about scarcity most of the time."

"Most of the time?" Leon nodded, stepping out of the portal. It closed behind him just as Raph came out of the medbay as well.

"Besides hermano, the only one here that 'actually needs it' is you!" Leon finished that sentence with a boop to Indigo's forehead before he was dragged back to the medbay. "Raph go tell Mikey and April that our new brother is up, and if he doesnt let me fix the wound to bring out Dr. Delicate Touch!" Leon cooed in a sing-song tone.

"Whose Dr. Delicate Touch?" Leon only smiled evilly as he gestured for Indigo to sit back down on the cot.

"Your worst nightmare." The gauze was snipped off and disposed of in the nearby trash can. The gash was revealed, the bleeding being like Indigo assumed. Relatively shallow and not at all life threatening as the slider was making it out to be. "You're lucky it's a light bleed or you would already be at the mercy of Dr. Delicate Touch."

The blood was cleaned off and the stapler leveled across the gash. Leon looked up at Indigo, bright green eyes once again filled with pity. "Well? Are you gonna do it or not?" The boy whined a bit.

"Well I…I was just kidding you know? I can just restitch it if you want?" His voice was impossibly soft, it was sickening. Indigo grabbed the stapler and swatted Leon's hands away.

With a loud click the first staple was punched in, it was a bit crooked but if it gets Leon to calm down so be it. Two more were punched in, closing the wound. Not the prettiest thing in the world but it will do.

Upon seeing Leon's absolutely flabbergasted face, Indigo raised a brow. "What?"

"Didn't that hurt? Like a lot?" The shorter turtle shrugged, it was a bit painful but the tolerable kind of pain.

"Compared to almost getting your limbs torn off, not really." The slider's jaw dropped as he stared at Indigo with a look that bordered on horror.

Leon gulped and nodded, hastily covering the wound in gauze again. "Right…where's the rat?" The rat was just gone, not at all seen since…whatever the fuck that was a couple of minutes ago. Like he had headaches before but nothing as agonizing as that was. Leon frowned nervously.

"Oh he's in the kitchen making some dinner, hope you like ramen!" The slider joked. However there was no effort in the joke, it was hollow, laced with anxiety. Indigo decided not to comment. "Anywhizzle, maybe we should introduce you to April and Mikey already, yeah? But you still gotta take it easy ok?" The shorter turtle begrudgingly nodded and stood up again.

He shifted his weight off his impossibly stubborn right leg, ignoring a twinge of pain from the awful joint. As long as it didn't dislocate it would be fine. Leon gave him a curious look "Is that an old injury? Didn't heal right?" When Indigo nodded Leon grabbed something from the nearby table.

It was solid black with four straps, two on top two on the bottom. A circular pad in the middle on either side. "What is that?" Leon walked over while opening up the straps.

"A knee brace, it should make walking easier and less painful." The brace was put on, the straps snugly secured. "Try it out." Indigo stood up, actually putting weight on his right leg for once.

The usual pain was still there, yes but far less than it usually was. His eyes went wide as he took a few steps. "Woah."

"Does it work?"

"It actually does." Leon looked almost giddy.

"Come on, let's go before Mikey and April get impatient." The boy grabbed Indigo's wrist and led him out of the medbay.

"By the way, why did the rat leave?" Leon froze in his tracks. He turned back to the shorter turtle, an anxious look in his eyes.

"It's…uh…we'll talk about it after dinner ok?" That wasn't an answer. But the look of pure dread in Leon's eyes forced Indigo to sigh and nod.

"Alright. I'll hold you to it." Leon gulped before continuing on through the purple room. The monitor that was previously on clicked off as soon as Leon entered the room. Indigo stared at the monitor as they left the room. What the hell was that about?

Once they left the purple room, Leon attempted to lead the shorter turtle to the living room. However Indigo couldn't help but lag behind. He looked around, they were pretty high up. Two levels appeared to be underneath the current one.

Warm orange light streamed in from a massive glass looking dome high above. The walls were covered in so much colorful graffiti, so many colors. Soft fairy lights hung from the walls, adding even more glow to the colorful room.

On the first level was a big wooden ramp of some kind.

"You good?" Leon asked with a chuckle as Indigo continued to look around, eyes big and mouth wide open.

"It's so…big. You guys actually live here?" The slider laughed, slinging an arm over Indigo's shoulders.

"We live here buddy, and hell yeah we do! You, my friend, are gonna get the grand tour!" Leon waved a hand excitedly before jumping down from the top level. With an impressive backflip Leon landed on the floor. Ok the landing needed some work but was impressive otherwise.

Indigo looked down at the concrete floor, the jump wasn't that high honestly. He could easily make that jump, and if he lands right his right knee won't dislocate again. He took a few steps back, getting ready for the jump.

A short turtle wearing an orange mask bounded over to Leon. He had orange spots on his arms and legs and what looked like two stickers on his plastron. Though they were a bit blurry from this height.

Indigo jumped off the platform with a burst of speed, scoring three flips! He could hear the sounds of awe from below. Yes! He was going to land in a handspring.

Before he could, the turtle crashed into something, landing on the floor with a thud. Indigo groaned, rubbing his head.

He could hear Leon and someone else laughing hysterically in the background. Great, that's just embarrassing. His face instantly got hot while he just looked away.

Whatever was underneath him was starting to squirm a bit.

"Ughnnh." Indigo turned his head to see what exactly broke his fall. Though who is the more appropriate answer.

Underneath him was the orange clad turtle, who was currently trying to push him off. Indigo climbed off and pulled the turtle up.

"Are you alright?" The turtle shook himself off before looking up at Indigo. He smiled brightly, revealing an adorable gap in his teeth.

"I'm good! Ohmigosh you're finally awake! Hi, I'm Mikey!" Mikey squeaked, suddenly pulling Indigo into a tight hug. Holy fuck this kid was way stronger than he looks. Indigo awkwardly returned the hug, patting the turtle on the shell.

"Ease up Michael or you'll further crack his ribs! Also Indigo I swear to god do not pull another stunt like that or you'll tear all your stitches open!" Leon called out, causing Mikey to loosen the hug. Someone laughed, the same voice from earlier. If it wasn't Mikey then who was it? Indigo looked up to see a human girl next to Leon. She noticed that he was looking at her.

"Hi, I'm April! April O'Neil!" She cocked finger guns at him, making Indigo smile a bit.

"I'm…Indigo" It felt weird to introduce himself like that. He gently pushed Mikey off and brushed himself off. What an introduction. His face heated up while he tried to avoid everyone's gazes.

"Relax dude, that stunt was cool!" Mikey said excitedly, clapping his hands in applause.

"Come on, let's go to the living room." With that the four went into the living room, claiming the nearby bean bags.

Once Indigo was sitting down all eyes were on him. He scooted closer to Leon.

"Uh…what?" He asked, seriously what was with the looks? Mikey nestled into his left side, giving Leon a look that Indigo couldn't quite read.

The room fell quiet, with Mikey and Leo looking a bit anxious while April drummed her hands against her thighs.

They all had a curious glint in their eyes, mixed in with the familiar look of pity.

They all just sat there for a while. No one dared to say anything but Indigo feeling exposed. He could feel their eyes tracing over every scar that littered his body. Scars were normal, proof that you survived another battle. They were inevitable so why the big deal?

"So what's up with the girl with the long hair?" Indigo asked, because apparently he has to start the conversation.

"Huh?"

"What girl?"

"Me?"

"Crazy long teal hair in ponytails? Wearing a short dress and weird cuff things on her arms? That girl?" Everyone's eyes went wide as dinner plates.

"Hatsune Miku?" Mikey gasped, stars in his eyes.

"Where did you see that?" April asked, a bright smile on her face.

"On one of the monitors in the purple room connecting to the medbay." A downright evil grin spread across Leon's face. He sprung up and sprinted out of the living room at top speed.

Indigo watched the slider go, confusion growing by the second. "Who's Hatsune Miku?" He dared to ask. "Is she Donnie's girlfriend or something?" To say that April and Mikey burst out laughing would be an understatement. They were instantly clutching their sides laughing so hard they were rolling on the floor.

"YOU LISTEN TO VOCALOID?" Leon shouted from somewhere else in the massive home. "DON'T CHU EVER LIE TO MY FACE AGAIN!"

What the fuck? Indigo looked at Mikey and April, who were still laughing. So they were absolutely no help. At least they weren't looking at him weird anymore.

Leon came back a few moments later, covered in purple dust. He plopped down next to Indigo with a content look on his face.

"All is right in the world." The slider sighed with a smile.

"Ok…but who is Hatsune Miku? What's a Vocaloid?"

"Digital singer, her digital songs. And Donnie loves her music."

There was a faint squawk of protest from somewhere else in the lair.

"Ok?" Once Mikey and April recovered they sat back up, tears in their eyes. "Right. That makes sense." Indigo mumbled that last part.

Donnie suddenly stormed into the living room. "How dare you expose me like that!" He grabbed a pillow and chucked it at Indigo's face. It hit with a soft whap, leaving him stunned.

Then with perhaps as much drama as possible, Donnie flopped down in the beanbag next to April, pouting heavily.

Everyone laughed at him and his theatrics. Indigo relaxed a bit since the attention wasn't all on him. But once everyone settled down the awkward tension settled back over the living room.

At least until.

"So how did you get all those scars?" Donnie asked nonchalantly, April smacked him upside the head. "What? It's a simple question."

"Well got this one from a rogue acid attack." He pointed to a large roundish burn scar on his right shoulder. "Hurt like hell for weeks. Little bastard and his cheap tricks."

"Yikes…" Leon muttered, scooting closer to him.

"This one was from a ghost yokai, bitch tried to slice my leg clean off." Indigo pointed to a large criss cross scar at the top of his left thigh.

"And these" He tapped his left cheek, where jagged looking scars extended up and across near the center of his forehead. "came from a demon wolf's freaky black magic claws, definitely one of the most painful ones for sure. Couldn't even breathe without the constant raging pain going through my skull until it started to fade a couple of weeks later. But apparently that wasn't enough for the fucker cause he almost strangled me to death in our rematch fight." That was the incident that landed him in the Infirmary for the first time.

He told that story several times in the barracks, usually getting a worse one back in response.

That's what he was expecting. Instead he was met with pure silence and horror.

April had both hands over her mouth, Donnie's mouth was hanging slack jawed. Mikey whined nervously, suddenly becoming a barnacle on Indigo's side. All the color had drained from Leon's face.

A soft gasp came from the doorway, where Raph stood. He looked like he'd been punched in the face.

And next to him was Splinter, standing there completely still. Indigo wasn't even sure the rat was breathing.

*What?" The turtle asked, trying to push Mikey off but to no avail.

The red clad turtle slowly walked over. Before Indigo could ask he was scooped into a second hug, one impossibly soft and gentle. Like he was made of glass and any pressure would shatter him completely.

"Uh ok? You good big guy?" Leon stood up, somehow wriggling his arms around Indigo as well. April and Donnie joined in not long after.

"Ok I'm kinda being squished here so can you let go?" They did not let go, in fact it felt like their collective grips got even tighter. What the hell? Why so many hugs in one day?

Indigo tried to squirm out of their arms but was forced to just sit there. Seriously it wasn't that big of a deal.

He looked over at the rat, who hadn't yet moved from his spot. In fact he hadn't moved at all! He was just standing there staring off into nothingness. A haunted look in his eyes.

"Alright, alright that's enough!" Indigo finally managed to squirm out of the group hug. He got out of hugging range. "Why are you guys acting so weird?"

No one said anything, no one dared to move. Indigo sighed, they were all acting weird for some reason.

Leon tried to move closer, a reassuring look on his face. It was clearly fake, like a broken mask. "Indy it's…" Indigo glared at the boy, who trailed off and wilted under the shorter turtle's gaze.

"We have so much to discuss, my son." Splinter said so quietly Indigo almost didn't hear him speak. The short rat wore an empathetic expression. And while not one of pity it still made Indigo grimace. "Orange, can you help me finish dinner?" Mikey nodded, bounding out of the living room with lightning speed.

"Blue, why don't you and April give Indigo the grand tour of our home?" Leon nodded, grabbing Indigo by the wrist and pulling him out of the living room while April brought up the rear.

"Alright mi hermano! Time for the grand tour of Casa La Hamato!"

"Ok ok…" Indigo said, his strength starting to wane and his legs beginning to quiver. He slumped against Leon, just a bit of dizziness, nothing to worry about. If only his legs weren't about to give out.

"Woah easy buddy I got you!" Leon's arms wrapped around Indigo, holding him up while his vision blurred in and out of focus.

"Ok you need to rest Indy, you just woke up after all." April added with a soft smile. The two shifted so Indigo was between them, is weight supported on either side. The trio slowly made their way to the medbay. The short turtle was laid back down in the cot.

He looked up at the purple ceiling, swirling vision and ringing ears yet again. April and Leon were talking to him but it just sounded like a giant massive blur of gargled noises.

Everything was spinning around and around, colors blurring together while his eyes throbbed in the same familiar fashion of one of his typical headaches.

"Rest now…" A soft voice suddenly whispered as the turtle's vision began to darken. The voice said something else but Indigo was already gone, falling into the inky black void of dreamless sleep.

A little nap won't hurt anything. Maybe an hour or two…

Meanwhile far off in the city something was working a large fish hook over a whetstone wheel, sharpening the metal till it could slice anything like butter.

The figure giggled excitedly, smiling at her reflection in the polished hook. She grabbed a rag and cleaned the hook one final time to make it absolutely sparkle!

Once it was clean she grabbed a black cloak from a nearby table, securing it over her head, pulling it over her body and popping her arms through the holes. Hopping over to a window she nearly flinched at her own reflection. The cloak made her look so menacing! So scary!

She covered her arms in wrappings just to add to the terrifying factor. She hopped out of the warehouse, heading towards a part of New York she knew all too well.

The sewers.

A manhole cover was lifted up and she slinked down into the darkness. The figure had one destination in mind, a place she once lived happily with her family. She hasn't been back home in so long!

She can't wait to see her dad again!

As for her brothers…something. No! Someone was coming back for the homecoming of the century.

This was going to be so much fun!

Unbeknownst to her, there was another brother in the midst, one that will complicate things. A turtle that will paint the waters with blood.

A turtle named Indigo.

[erloeser-a]

characters with a raging breeding kink under the cut

it’s all of them but especially these motherfuckers. 

       if ur human, pls do not try to have sex with these men --- it’s for ur own safety, trust me. 

[kunimikat]

How they act after you break up with them.

(I made sure to check but there might be small grammar errors, and this is a long one so strap in 🙇, but hope you enjoy angst+fluff here) but not me actually feeling bad for them after-

Is more out of it then usual.

The reason you broke up with him is because you felt like it wasn’t a real relationship. And more like you sometimes got to talk during class, and sometimes out of school.

He writes in his a separate notebook of ways he could’ve done better

Starts comparing himself to other guys more often

Leaves earlier then everyone else to got to dorms.

Mumbles even more then usual, and sometimes the only person that can snap him out of it is Aizawa.

Sometimes takes it out on his friends

“Hey Deku!-“

“Not right now Uraraka.”

“Oi, Deku nerd, the-“

“Can you not right now Kacchan?”

“HAAH?-“

“Midoryia! Would you like to study?”

“Maybe later Iida...”

Todoroki offered him soba but it resulted in Midoriya slowly slurping up soba as he looked into the void of people

He shut everyone one out and didn’t talk barely most of the week.

He’d take out a lot of his anger during training.

It somehow finally clicks into place how bad you feel and how much you miss him when All Might pull you aside and asks. “Uhhh...Is Young Midoriya ok? I’m getting real worried....ITS NOT LIKE I DONT WORRY ABOUT MY OTHER STUDENTS HAHAHA! HOW’S-

There’s 15 minutes of your life awkwardly telling All Might how all your classmates are doing.

Which made you want to jump off the top of UA at the moment.

You decide to head to his dorm and ask him about it, cause you feel like it’s your fault.

You walk in on him crying, clutching the shirt you bought for him on his birthday.

You almost dropped to your knees in guilt at the sight

You rushed over and sat by him, comforting him, though it wasn’t much as you started crying too.

Basically a crying festival for an hour.

“Please....Please Y/N I love you so much, I promise I’ll make it work, and I’ll do my best to make it up to you, just please...PLEASE don’t leave me.” You kiss him on the lips and then his hand, “Babe it’s not all on you, I promise I’ll do better this time too, I’m so sorry for being selfish, I love you, ok?” Another crying fest.

After you start dating again:

Always makes sure you’re comfortable, and checks into your dorm before he starts a study session.

Helps you with your work before his. ( Though you insist he doesn’t as he’s gotten points off multiple times for turning in his work late.)

Goes on dates every time you have some free space in your schedules. Somehow ends up in an All Might merch shop 80% of the time.

!!CUDDLE SESSIONS AFTER HERO TRAINING AT ALL TIMES!! Even in Recovery Girl’s office, though many times she bops you both on the head and tells you to get out.

(If you both like All Might) You both geek out over new All Might stuff, and his old interviews while wearing an All Might onesies.

(If you like a different hero) You could spend hours bickering on who’s best hero, pulling up recordings and articles on the. With you holding your favorite hero plushie and him wearing All Might pajamas.

And waking up early just to take a long route to school together.

Makes sure to say ‘I love you’ at every small moment, and compliments you, though he can’t take compliments himself-

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“I...I understand, but why?”

Tears well up in his eyes and he for once he keeps eye contact with you, without looking away

It takes everything in you to not breakdown

“I’m sorry Izuku, I just don’t think it’ll work out in the end.” He grabs your hand and holds it both of his. He puts it to his forehead, nearly on his knees at this point. You try not to cry with him, but you knew it wasn’t going to end up a happily ever after in the end. And you wanted to break it off before that could happen.

“Izuku, I know, I know, I’m so sorry, I wish it couldn’t end like this-“

“Then don’t let it. Please Y/N don’t let this end.”

You eyes welled up as you put a hand over your mouth while repeating ‘I’m sorry, so sorry Izuku’. You looked away from him as you slipped your hand out of his, you close your eyes painfully, the tears finally running down your face. You couldn’t help but look back one more time, and almost wanted to run to where he was and take it all back. He sat on his knees, his head in his hands as painful sobs wracked his body. You quickly leave the room, shutting the door behind you.

You both were pretty quiet and emotionless the whole week.

Midoriya was even worse then before,

It got to the point where sometimes he didn’t eat or sleep

He barely responded to anything anyone said

Hell, even Bakugo was worried at some point

Midoriya would always go back to his dorm and cuddle with the gifts you gave him while you were dating.

It took a long time for him to get over it, and even when he thought it did, he still gets emotional over it

Even after highschool it pains him to see your off doing your own thing without you at his side the whole time

Quieter then usual

Is so deep in thought, sometimes forgets he’s in class or what he’s doing

During tests, or while working on assignments he’d be so deep in thought he didn’t realize he broke his pencil, or used his quirk on his desk

Instead of having his usual outburst on people he’d just walk off, or click his tounge and walk off

Even during Hero Lessons he’d be less calculated, and not as pumped up

When anyone tried to ask he’d just say “Fuck off, I’m fine.”

His grades slightly dropped

He had bags under his eyes, and had even worse posture then usual

When it came time to leave, he’d be the first one out, and no one could find out where he’d go

A permanent frown was on his face at all times (basically him most of time but with a deeper frown)

No one knew what to do at this point

It didn’t click with you until one day during Hero Lessons

He was sparring with Kirishima and all of a sudden he fainted

Everyone was surprised to say the most

You rushed with Kirishima to Recover Girls office

You both almost busted the door off it’s hinges

She wacked you both on the head but quickly tended to Bakugo, surprising you both as she checked on him

“Oh....I wouldn’t have expected this from Bakugo.” You and Kirishima had confused looks on your faces. “Well he passed out from exhaustion, which I usually see with that foolish Midoriya boy. This one usually keeps up with himself, something must’ve happened.” She cut herself off as she saw the look on your face that said it all. She beckons Kirishima to follow her out, as he still wasn’t getting what was happening.

You finally got a good look at him, and saw just how exhausted he looked. The bags under his eyes, his bruised body, and how pained he looked in his sleep. You hugged the non-bruised part of his arm, and finally let the tears you held let go. “I’m sorry Katsuki...I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” Before you realized he woke up, he placed his free hand on your head, rubbing small and soothing circles on your head. “S’okay, let’s make this work.” You knew you didn’t have to say anything else as you both stayed like that until Recovery Girl came in to kick you both out.

After you start dating again:

Comes to your dorm everyday to get you up knowing you’d oversleep if he didn’t (also wants to see your sleeping face...not in a weird way)

Cooks you breakfast in bed on off days,

You guys cook something together when you have a movie night

Instead of yelling most times, he just makes sure he understands your side of everything before jumping to conclusions

Makes sure he isn’t too rough with you verbally (lol not sure physically)

Brings you to his parents house during some free time since you get along with his mom and dad well

Won’t admit it but adores the fact that his parents love you

Whispers ‘I love you’ when he’s made sure your ‘sleeping’ (you’re not, you just wanna hear him say it all shy like)

You guys go on training dates, where you both train together, then have a picnic where you just trained

Him being more open with PDA, like holding your hand, or laying his head on your shoulder, etc. just small stuff

He loves playing with your hair and twisting it around his fingers while cuddling or studying

You both cheer on your favorite hero during a fight on TV, or you pick a random channel on TV and you just listen to him rant how stupid something is while you lean onto his shoulder at 2am (somehow got him to stay up this late)

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“No...no...you can’t, you can’t be serious”

He sounded so broken. His fists clutched so hard you thought his bones would pop out

Anger was evident in his face, and he honestly scared you with the face he was making

“Y/N....are you joking?” You frown and step back a little, did he really think everything you said was a joke? “No Bakugo, I just think this isnt gonna work out in the end.” You heard him click his tongue, then just look at you in shock, then anger. He looked down, his bangs covering his expression. “So you’re just gonna end it like that? No working anything out, just break up? It was one fucking mistake Y/N.”

“Yeah one big mistake, you don’t suck faces with some other person on accident, Bakugo.” The venom in your voice slicing through the tension filled air. “Can you just fucking forgive me? I won’t do it again.”

“You said that last time, Katsuki, then you go and clown off again-“

Before you could get anything else out Bakugo already had his quirk going in one hand, and the other holding your shoulder down. You both looked surprised, even as he backed away. “No..nononono fuck Y/N baby I’m sorry-” you smacked the hand that reached out for you. You started packing everything, Bakugo’s eyes widened as he just stood in shock. Before he knew it you were leaving already.

“N...NO NO Y/N PLEASE, I’M SORRY-“ he grabbed you by the arm that reached for the door knob. You quickly shrugged him out of his grasp, and opened the door. “Goodbye Bakugo, I hope well for the next person with you.” And you slammed it in his face. He stood there, it’s like the emotions he felt before were completely wiped when you slammed the door on him. It was 8:03pm, he should start getting ready for bed anyway.

For a few weeks he was unresponsive, and only talked when he needed to

His movements were sluggish and he’d often stare at nothing

Bakugo didn’t even glare, or really do anything when Midoriya tried talking him

Or shittyhair, dunce face, raccoon eyes, or soy sauce face

They were all the same, and just molded into one voice every time someone tried talking to him

After a while he got over it, but he still regrets what he did

You helped him through so much yet he went off and did stupid shit

Even after highschool, he’d still keep up on you frequently through social media

Basically stalking you on there, guessing he never truly got over it once he felt tears subconsciously stream down his face as he saw you with someone else, happier.

He felt like he didn’t do anything wrong, and he was confused at the throb in his heart every time you looked away from him or ignored him.

So he did ask you, and all you did was look at him like he just hit you.

Why did you look so hurt?

Todoroki shrugged it off, thinking you’d come back like you did after every fight you guys had

But you didn’t, and that’s what took an actual toll on him

More emotional

A permanent frown on his pretty features most of the time

All he mostly eats is soba

He didn’t know how to handle this in all honesty

Sometimes he’d just stare at you, and even when you looked back he’d just stare...

Sometimes he’s so out of it he doesn’t realize he’s either froze the entire classroom or was a living breathing radiator, or both (rip Momo, Satou, and Tokoyami)

He’d ask Midoryia for help but it came out as a fumbled mess most of the time:

“Midoryia...how do you hurt....them, a lot...without...? Can you help?

Midoryia is just like:

(Sorry I had to add that in I was cackling sm from it)

“I think you should just talk to them Todoroki.”

That was harder to do then he expected, you mangaged to avoid him pretty well,

One day he was just fed up and as soon as the bell rang he took your hand and left the class

He takes you to an empty classroom, his left side nearly giving you frostbite

You were about to yell at him before you saw his broken expression

“What...what did I do for it to be like this?” You we’re now quiet as you saw the confused and hurt expression on his face. Him barely being able to control either of his quirks, he was shaking, yet still held a confused expression. It just clicked with you, Todoroki wasn’t used to the sudden emotions or feelings, and when one of the people he’d usually go to to talk about it wasn’t there, he started to crumble.

You hugged him tightly , not caring if his quirks messed up your uniform. “I’m sorry Y/N....I’m sorry I’m not enough, but-“ You cover his mouth as tears fell from your eyes and onto the ground or his uniform. “I- I-I’m so sorry Todo...it’s just you never gave me affection and I was being so selfish and petty about it, I just- I didn’t realize that you went through your own experience for it to turn out like this. It’s not your fault, and I love you the way you are Shoto.” Todoroki didn’t even notice the tears come down his face as you kissed him over and over again. A small ‘I’m sorry’ from you every time. His quirks calmed down and now you were holding each other in a random classroom. You’re heart nearly stopped as you looked up at him and saw a small, teary eyed smile.

After you start Dating again:

Todoroki was much more observant

He’d stay up late readings articles saying “How to understand emotions” or “Is there other good food then Cold Soba” wait-

Regularly gets you gifts, even though most of the time you make him return the stuff since he’s been getting so much with his dads card

Endeavor ended up yelling at you both in a 7/11 while you were stuffing your faces with a soba flavored chips

You both figured out a way to get Todoroki to express himself without words

He’d slightly activate his left side if he wanted any sort of attention, and his right side was if he was feeling stressed or upset

He subconsciously goes to your dorm now to check up on you to make sure you’ve had a glass of water, dinner or anything really (He just wanted a reason to go to your dorm)

You played with his hair once, and he’s never going back

When cuddling he’d lay his head in the crook of your neck, hoping to feel you playing with his hair

You push him to start taking therapy sessions to understand what emotions he’s feeling and how to express them

Takes you in your free time to an empty field just to hear you talk, and learn more about you

And he’d always wake up early and made sure to get a few snacks for you before you woke up and brought them to your dorm room (Last time he tried to cook he almost burned the kitchen down)

Overall Todoroki just loves giving you small head pats now, you don’t know where it came from but you didn’t complain

Poor bby stuttered so hard the first time he said ‘I love you’ you giggled

Ended up making him feel embarrassed and like he did something wrong, but you quickly kissed him/praised him

He can’t stop saying it now, one time you picked up his pencil, before you could hand it to him just a sudden “I love you Y/N” the entire class looked at you both in shock

“STOP SUCKING FACES OVER THERE!”

“SHUT UP BAKUGO”

“HAAAH?”

Todoroki is the happiest he’s been.

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“Over? What do you mean we’re over?”

You felt so horrible by the the pure confusion on his face

But the rude things he said to you, over powering your want to get back with him

Lately Todoroki has been more protective, and rude. Insulting everything you do, belittling you slightly. It just added up and you were tired of it

Todoroki tilted his head to the side, deep in thought.

“Y/N your being on the dumber side again, are you hanging out with them too much?” You were taken aback by how nonchalantly he insulted you and your friends. “Excuse me? Todoroki did I hear you right?” You stepped foward leaning your head toward him. “Of course you can, or did Bakugo’s yelling make you not hear so well?” The fact he said it with no emotion, or nothing to it was making you clench your fist. “The hell has gotten into you Todoroki?” You shove his shoulder a bit. He frowned at you heavily making you flinch. “Well if you didn’t go and ignore me most of this week maybe I wouldn’t be like this. I usually hold my tongue but you’ve been rude this entire week.”

You stood there speechless. “Well Ex-fucking-cuse me Shoto. Maybe if you didn’t insult me all the damn time I wouldn’t ignore you, or wait for an decent apology.”

You drag out the last words as you glared at him, Todoroki giving one back. “I’m only telling the truth so you don’t look dumb. I’m helping you out Y/N, I thought you’d understand.” You scoff in utter shock, you couldn’t help the sudden urge to slap some sense into him. Now he stood speechless, the force in that slap causing his hair to look messy, and a red mark on his cheek. Tears were in your eyes as you clenched your fist, biting your lip from cussing him out on the spot. “Your lucky I don’t beat your sorry ass, just...just the the fuck out Todoroki!” You pushed him toward the door. He looked at you with no emotion in his face as he saw you start to bawl your eyes out. “Just...just get the hell out Todoroki, it’s over, we’re over.” He felt a pang in his heart, but choose to ignore it and just left.

It only actually came to him during the night as he was about to walk to your dorm after a nightmare, when he realized the entire conversation

He tried knocking on your door but you didn’t answer, even though he could hear your music

He went back to his dorm, sat on his bed and just had a full mental breakdown

Realizing his main emotional support that helped him through mostly everything was gone

He felt he said stuff his father said to you already which made it even worse

He tried texting and calling you but you had him blocked on everything

He repeated the entire conversation in his head, just now coming to how disgusting he really did sound

Todoroki for that whole week was an emotional wreck

During hero training if he was thinking about you or what he did he doesn’t notice poor Satou trying to get out of his wall of Ice.

Is always with Midoryia at some given time,

He kind of clinged onto people in his circle that gave him attention of some sort

When he some time passed he eventually got over it

After Highschool you both kept in touch, but it pained him when he saw you engaged and happy with another person

But he was happy if you were happy.

Heyyy so this is probably the longest thing I’ve written since like my last Wattpad fanfics I used to do(yikes). But hope you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to request! I’m taking them now so go wild.

Sorry that they were all confusing it’s my first hcs+scenario thingy, but I have a few other things in the works so... 💃🕺

[orenjikaraka]

I Just Can’t Take It Anymore…

The trickster (Ji woon hak) x reader angst

Author note: I barely know Korean so please understand that some words are google translate and I know google sometimes doesn't work ;(, Also I feel like if Ji woon was in that realm for a while, he would start learning English more better, because many survivors are from around the world. Also I made it realistic, so if someone dies they die :).

Part 2

Warnings: cursing, gore, vomiting, murder, angst

Word count: 2027

Ji Woon woke up, he sit up and looked around his surroundings, “못쓰게 만들다 (fuck)”, his hands were squeezed tight, his knuckles were turning white, “why am I still here…” his body was shaking, “I… don’t want hurt anyone anymore… why can’t I leave from this nightmare”, dirt was digging into his nails, his vision was getting fuzzy and his ears were ringing, but until he heard the entity, he snapped out of his thoughts, and heard voices, telling him if he doesn’t move, he’ll be punished. So he stood up quivering and picked up his bat from the dirty floor, when he got situated and try to calm himself, because the entity was watching him, whispering to murder the people around him, but the entity was disappointed by how’s he’s acting, so one of it’s claws were on his throat, whispering ‘murder, murder, murder’ like a broken record, Ji woon had a idea, he grabbed his hair with his free and faked chaotic laughed, to make the entity think he’s still the attendantic murder from the very beginning, the entity slowly disappears into the mist, leaving Ji woon alone, then he ended his acting, and continued to shake, “ok… ok… let’s get this over, and… and maybe I can finally leave this place…” he chuckled with slight relief.

—-

When ji Woon found his first survivor, he was running away from him, he gave fake chaotic laughs and was chasing after him, he wanted to show the entity, that he was insane, he threw his kunais at his legs, so he won’t walk, the man pleads were making his ears ring, ‘how did I get aroused by this…’ it wanted to make him puke, that he even think it like that way, hearing there pleads in his music and screams, was like something was calling inside for him, but now, murdering people over and over and over again, slowly didn’t aroused him anymore and all the attention before was slowly departing too, he just wanted run away just like these survivors, Ji Woon slowly walk up to the poor man, and slowly lifted his bat up and ready to strike his neck, “죄송 해요… (I’m sorry)”

Snap

Was all he heard, by the hit of the bat to the bone, he was shaking and he pulled his bat out of the nape, he tried to slow his breathing and went to the next person, while he was walking he could see a woman fixing a Generator, it sounds like it was almost done, so he put his bat on his back, and grab one of his kunais, he aimed it at her throat and it successfully slit her throat, she stopped her hands from fixing her generator, and put her hands on her throat, she was gagging, Ji woon dropped his kunais, and started to cover his ears, his quivering was worsening, and he dunk his head low, so he wouldn’t see, what was happening in front of him, he “tried” to calm himself down, but got it significantly worse, “please… make it stop… please…”, the entity was appearing behind him, ready to punish him again, its claws we’re getting close to his neck again, telling him lies, whispering ‘if you murder the rest, you’ll be free…’ ‘you’ll get rewarded, after this trial’ ‘you can see your father again… don’t you want that…’ “나의 아버지… (my father)”

Ji woon’s laughter got ragged, and everytime he laughed it sounded forced, he got his baseball bat from his back and his tears were still spilling out, that made his eyeliner smear, but he made sure that he looked like a psychopath, the entity disappears again, into the mist it goes…

When he walking away from the corpse, he felt like someone else was watching him, instead of the entity, he felt a woman’s presence, from behind him, he looked back, but all he saw was the corpse from before, he gulped and kept walking forward and found the next survivor, he was cleansing a totem, the man turned around terrified, “let’s makes this quick…” his lips quivered, he raised his bat shakily, but before he raised his shaky bat, the man kicked him in the shin and scattered, “nnnnghhh, 못쓰게 만들다… (fuck)”, the man ran into a dead end, and Ji Woon was behind him, he kneeled down, begging for mercy, “please… don’t make this hard as it is…”, Ji Woon said, he clenched his hands on his baseball bat, the guy in front of him, at this point was sobbing and pleading for his forgiveness, Ji Woon closed his eyes “shut up… shut up… SHUT UP…”, he strike his baseball bat, at his head, and smashed it, the man was screaming for mercy, “shut up!” And smashed it again… again… and… again… until his face was not even noticeable anymore. Ji Woon opened his eyes and was terrified on what the results were, he felt like vomiting, he drop his baseball bat, and put hands on his mouth, for him to stop his vomiting, he swallowed the gross liquid down his throat, he was hyperventilating, “Make it stop… make it stop…” his voice sound so hoarse, he fell back and he put his hands threw his hair, he was digging threw his scalp, “please… I just can’t take it anymore… I just want to go home…” his body was shaking really badly, his hyperventilating was worsening, it was dead silent and all he could hear was his wipering, until he heard some footsteps, right when he felt a hand touch his shoulder, he freaked out, “LEAVE ME ALONE!” He turned back and got a better look at the person in front of him, his shaking was slowly calming down, when he noticed it was a woman, and not the entity, “hey… shhh… hey… everything is going to be ok…” “stay away from me… I… I don’t want to hurt you…” (Y/N) slowly got closer, but he flinched, “please, please, please… I don’t want to hurt you…” (Y/N) felt guilt in her chest, why is she feeling this way, he is a murder, but in past trials, he wasn’t like this, but why now, he’s like lost pup, running away from a pack of wolfs, “hey, trickster, everything going to be ok” her calming voice sound so angelic, he gulped, “can I help you…” he slowly nodded his head, he look so scared, she slowly walked up to him and put her hands in front of him, he look at her like she was mad, she nodded and had the smallest smile, his lips were quivering, but he tried to force a smile, he slowly put his hands on hers, and she slowly lifted him up.

She got a better look at him, his weight looks slightly skinnier than he was before, he had scars around his abandon, around his body was also bruises, ‘is he hurting himself or is the entity doing this to him…’, she looked at his face and his eyeliner was smearing, “hey… everything going to be ok…”, she started to put her fingers in his hair to rub his sore scalp, his body finally stopped quivering, he leaned into her touch, it was quite gentle, he missed this feeling, how his father would help him sleep, when he was a small child, “thanks…” he gave another smile, but it wasn’t forced, she smiled back, “can… I hug you…” Ji Woon said in a shaky breath, she was hesitant, but, “sure…” he felt some guilt railing up to his heart, she sounded so scared, he slowly hugged her, she hugged him back, she was rubbing small circles on his back for more comfort, he slowly let go of her, he looked at her, she was gorgeous, she like a angel that fell out of heaven, how is someone so beautiful like you here. In this dreadful place, “hey… let’s leave…” that shook him, “I can’t…” “let’s try…” his lips were quivering, “I- I can’t” “I know but I want to help you… so let’s just try” she was so calm and clear to understand, “but-“, “let’s at least try” Ji Woon wanted to push her away and then just get punished by the entity, but maybe he can try again, he never walked out with someone else, “ok…” it was barely a whisper, she then offered her hand and he hesitantly grab onto hers, and she walked to the gate, “wait, don’t you need to finish all the generators” “I… I finished every generator, while you were killing the… others…”

When they got to the door, she let go of his hand, and pulled down the lever, it was charging up, but right when it hit 99 percent, he lifted her hand, “it’s not gonna work… just open the gate, and leave me here so I can get punished-“ “NO, we’re getting out of this together” she snatched her hand back and pulled the lever down, the bells were ringing, telling everyone to leave this place, she grab his hand and dragged him along, while she walked, she got out from the other side, but when she was walking, she halted, she couldn’t move any further, she looked back and saw entity fences, that made Ji Woon couldn’t move any further, “see… I- I can’t move any further…” his voice was cracking, he was quivering again, so she tried pulling on his arm, but he couldn’t move from that damn line, “trickster, try pushing I can’t do this all by my-“ “IM TELLING YOU, I CAN'T GO ANY FURTHER, JUST LEAVE” “but-“ “JUST LEAVE” she was sobbing, Ji woon felt horrible, he shouldn’t yell at her, she is just trying to help, and why is someone that he just meet making him feel like this, “NO, I'M NOT LEAVING YOU” (Y/N) ran back into the line, and Ji Woon turned around “what are you doing!” “I’m trying to save you!” He had a slight blush, “but-“ she hugged him and tried pushing him through the line, the entity was clawing through the door, he started to panic, “let… go…” his voice was hoarse, ''no”, ''please… let go…” his tears were dropping on her head, “no…”, “let go, please, you're gonna die…” “I don’t care, I- I feel your pain and I want to help you…” she was sobbing, and it hurts to see someone he just meet, care about him so freaking much, the only person that actually cared so much of him was his father, so, he did the unexpected, and lifted her up, “what- what are you-“ he threw her back into the safe route, he turned around and faced the entity, “NO” she said, he looked back with a small and present smile, “oh, my name is Ji Woon, and thanks for being here for me, maybe we can see each other again, in are next trial” his smile was so pure, despite all fuck up shit, that’s been happening in this cursed realm, “no…” she stood back up and ran to him, and hugged him, “I… just can’t leave you…” Ji Woon saw the entity stopped, the second to final bell ring, telling them, they only had a couple seconds left, “why… are you… so nice to me…”, “because I want to help people that been through so much pain, and relieve them, to not be in that pain anymore”, his heart just flutter, he turned around to pick her up again, she felt how fast his heart was pumping on her chest, she liked how warm he is, he felt so good to touch, it makes her fear go away, Ji Woon was at the line again, ‘let’s try this again’, and right when he stepped on the line, the entity fences didn’t appear, he can pass through, he was relieved that he can pass through, there was tears of joy in his eyes, so he ran…

While holding the most beautiful woman in his arms, he can finally be human again…

[kyidyl]

Kyidyl Does Archaeology - Part 4

(As before, if you’re only seeing this part 4, the rest of them have the tag KyidylCL)

THE ARTEFACTS

Ok, so I’ve talked about the site and what we’ve been digging in and such, but I’m gonna be honest with you guys: I like lab work exponentially more than field work.  So I am the one who has been processing the vast majority of the finds and ergo have lots of stuff.  That’s why I sometimes make jokes about the stuff in my basement - I’m storing the majority of it here in my basement.  I’ve gotten the question before about ownership, so here is how that works.  The dig is on private land so anything we get technically belongs to the owner of the land.  Now, as far as I know, he has no interest in keeping any of it so it’ll likely end up in the hands of the arch society, who will basically just be custodians of it but not owners.  It might end up in a museum, too.  I don’t really know, but that determination won’t be made until we’re finished, and not by me.  

So every site has its own sort of categories of stuff that you find depending on who lived there (although for ease, archaeologists often categorize this stuff based on location and time - more on that later.).  For our site the majority of it falls into these categories: animal bone, shell, lithics, pottery, charcoal, modern contaminants, and artefacts.  And, to lend a bit of clarity here...lithics are anything made of rock.  So they include fire cracked rocks, flakes from stone tool making, material that was used in construction, material that was crushed to make temper for pottery paste (more on that later, too.), etc.  If it came from a rock it’s a lithic.  

And imma tell you a secret: I hate lithics.  Everyone has their thing, their category of human refuse that they simply do not like.  A prof of mine hated teeth and pottery.  That’s just how it is, and mine is lithics.  I think they’re boring, I can’t tell a flake from a blade, I don’t give a single fuck what material they are, I don’t care about the style or craftsmanship...I just don’t care.  I call them all rocks, and I do it so much that everyone on the site has started accidentally calling them rocks, too, which amuses me.  Rocks, to an archaeologist, means “stone that wasn’t altered or used by people”.  They’re worthless.  Not that I think lithics are worthless - far from it - I just really hate them and this site has so.  goddamned.  many.  Lucky for me, we have a Rock Guy aka someone who really loves lithics and actually has gotten pretty good at flint knapping and just, y’know, is really into rocks.  

And to clarify about artefacts.  When you’re out in the field everything you find is either an artefact or a find.  The collection of these things is called an assemblage.  When you’re doing lab work and sorting through it all later on an artefact is, well...like a thing.  I’m explaining this poorly....it’s a complete object with a specific function.  So, a whole pot = artefact, broken pieces = sherds (not shards, sherds.). Complete arrowhead = artefact, flakes or a broken one = lithic.  Artefacts also tend to be somewhat unique, or at least something you don’t have a lot of.  They don’t always have to be complete, anything that is a specific object can go in here.  Like, for example, this piece of pipe we found: 

To recap, we’ve got pottery, charcoal, lithics, shell, bone (animal - we haven’t found human. But I’m just gonna say bone.), and artefacts.  If you are sensitive to things like that, this is your warning that this post is going to have pictures of animal bone and you should scroll quickly.  

Now, for reference, this is what it all looks like before I clean it and after it’s been dying out for a day or two (the ground has natural moisture, so I basically just open the bags and let them air out.): 

And, yes....I am cleaning them off on an actual antique blotter with real silver edges that my mom gave me for this express purpose.  A factoid I’m only sharing because it amuses me in that sort of “bet they never envisioned this use for this thing” sort of way.  Normally, if I was in a real lab, you’d do this over a metal tray.  When you’re working with an assemblage you never hold it over empty space, you always hold it over the bench and preferably over whatever your work surface is.  That doesn’t mean I haven’t dropped my fair share of stuff anyway, but most of it just lands on the work surface and not the floor, which is why you hold it over a work surface.  But anyway, as you can see, it just looks like a brown, dirty mess.  I usually do a quick sort of the stuff I know for sure what it is and then I wash it with a soft toothbrush and some water.  The rocks I just submerge and swoosh around because they’re rocks and I can’t really damage them and there’s SO FRIKKIN MANY that I refuse to clean them individually.  

So now that you’ve gotten through that long-winded but necessary explanation of terms, where are we at? Since I’m a bioarchaeologist and I prefer things that were once alive to the general detritus of human society, we’re gonna start with the bone.  Specifically, we’re gonna start with how I know those two pits from yesterday’s post are one pit.  This is how: 

This is a deer bone.  Don’t ask me which one bc I’m really not good at ID’ing species and animal anatomy, but it’s a leg bone of some kind.  See how it’s broken? One piece was found in one hole and the other piece was in the other.  Clearly it’s the same animal, ergo the pits are related to each other.  The vast majority of what came out of that particular feature was bone, with the rest being charcoal and the occasional pot sherd.  This means it was probably used for cooking and not as a garbage pit. Also there was food in it, if you recall the cooking accident from yesterday.  but sometimes y’know, stuff falls into the fire pit or it’s put in there as a way of disposing of it.  

But wait, I have more cool animal bones!! 

Ok, so there’s this one: 

This bone has a special place in my heart. IDK what species it is (I *think* it’s a fragment of deer long bone.), but that’s not why it’s cool.  This single bone is strong evidence for the presence of dogs.  =D See that circular mark on the right? That is the impression of a canine tooth from a carnivore.  Human teeth can’t make those marks in bones - our teeth aren’t strong enough to do significant damage to bone, and anyway we tend to crack bones open with rocks (a form of damage called percussion marks.) and not with our teeth.  Those other longer scratch marks are also likely from chewing, not butchery, because they’re in the right places and they’re the right shape.  Now we know this was a settlement, and this bone was found smack in the middle surrounded by human detritus and not on the fringes or outskirts.  There were no domesticated felines in the Americas at the time BC this is from the lower pre-contact level, so what’s really the only carnivore that would be wandering around a human settlement? Dogs.  I love this kinda stuff because it’s so easy see them chilling around the fire pit, talking and eating, teasing whomever it was that spilled dinner, and then tossing the bones to their dogs to gnaw on after dinner.  It’s just such a people kind of thing, you know? All from one small, circular mark.  I actually found more on later bones that came out of other places, so it’s pretty safe to say there were dogs living here with their people even though we have found neither people nor dogs.  

So here’s another cool bone: 

Again, no idea what species it is bc I’m not a zooarch (yes, there are archaeologists that specialize in animals and wooooo boy can they tell you a LOT about migration and eating habits of people.). It’s about the size of half my thumb, IE, not large.  This one is cool, and it’s the only one I have like this, because of that notch you can see vertically in the image on the right hand side.  I don’t know what it was for, but I DO know that it was an intentionally made modification to the bone.  Those striations aren’t natural - natural bone is smooth or has a very specific texture and this isn’t that.  It’s probably not damage done to the bone after it was deposited in the archaeological record.  It has the same patina as the majority of the rest of the bone, which you can compare to the lighter area there on the right hand end of the bone.  That lighter area does not have the patina of age that the rest of the bone does, and is the result of damage in a much more recent time - probably as we were taking it out of the ground.  Small bones are fragile.  So someone gouged this channel intentionally in this bone, either because they were going to use it as decoration or it served some purpose as a tool.  I’m not really sure what though.  Hell, they could have just been bored and fidgeting after eating.  Either way, it’s a human modification to this bone that has nothing to do with cooking or consumption (damage from human consumption is cracks and breaks, not scrapes.).  It could also be a butchery mark, although it’s a bit deep for that.  Butchery marks are there from separation of meat from bone - they’re usually just shallow scrapes.  

Ok, last cool bone I’m gonna show you.  Well, bones, plural.  

Ok so this is part of the same assemblage as the ones above, and if I remember correctly these were the ones that came out of that pit.  You can see the same bone with the canine tooth mark there in the center.  There’s also some interesting things like some pottery on the left and a couple teeth off to the right (one is a deer and I *think* that curved on is a squirrel.), but the really interesting thing is the series of 3 shiny bones that are in the center.  There’s a lot of ways to cook meat, and they all do different things to bones.  You will often find the dry, brown looking ones like you can see here in the non-shiny bones. That’s like...your basic “this bone had meat on it when it was cooked”. Then you’ll see ones that are black, and that’s “this bone probably didn’t have meat when it was cooked, or someone tossed it back in the fire when they were done”. Lastly, you’ll see white bone, and that’s a bone that has been burned at a high temperature for a long time.  Usually it’s done on purpose (you can use burned, powdered bone to make stuff.).  

But the shiny ones were in a soup.  And the reason I know that is *because* they’re shiny.  Bones, especially old ones, aren’t shiny.  I mean...you can see that.  You have to do stuff to ‘em.  And bones are porous, but those weren’t.  They felt like hard plastic. And they get that way by being boiled.  The shiny patina is what we call pot polish - they were stirred in the soup while it was cooking and rubbed against the side of the pot and each other, and it gives them a smoother texture.  

All of these collections of bones tell us what and how they ate things.  I know from what I can ID here (which isn’t everything, trust me.) that they ate a lot of deer and wild turkey (we have an entire almost completely intact turkey long bone.). There is also, I believe, squirrel (I found a portion of a skull and jaw that I’m pretty sure belong to a squirrel), and an assortment of other small rodents and birds.  Lots of birds.  Bird bone is really distinctive, it’s light and the spongy bone has a distinct texture.  A zooarchaeologist can look at bones like this and ID species and age, and from there tell you what time year something was probably killed.  Societies that hunted a lot tended to do it seasonally so that they wouldn’t damage the populations.  Plus especially with fish and stuff they have very specific growing cycles and short lifespans, so they can also tell you a lot about where the people were hunting and when.  Like certain fish will only spawn in certain places, so it’s really informative.  Zooarchs are so important and there just aren’t enough of them.  

Anyway, there are other cool things in the bones but I’m trying to strike a balance here between too much and not enough and I really love bone so I’m going to stop here for today.  Tomorrow is going to be other artefacts (yeah, sadly, even lithics, lol), and what they tell us about the site and the people who lived there.   As an aside: if anyone has any like just general “how do they know this?” sort of questions about history and archaeology those would be fun to answer.  I love to tell people how we do things but I don’t just wanna infodump.  I DO want to explain procedure in what I hope is a readable way because I think understanding how we make the sausage will help people have more trust in science.  So if you have any questions, please, send asks.  If I don’t know the answer I’ll research it or pass it on to someone who does.  

[vanderlindemorgans]

Cross My Heart (Chapter 5)

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x Reader

Rating: Explicit/18+

Summary: A traitorous Agent Whiskey returns to the United States on the run. Being cast out by Statesman, he soon finds that you’re the only person he can turn to - the embittered former flame from years long passed

Word count: 7.5k

Warnings: Eventual smut, some references to alcoholism and drug use. Reader is in her late twenties but there is an age gap between her and Whiskey. Chapter specific warnings: one scene takes place in a hospital, some medical talk, more heavy drinking, talk of death and alcoholism (specifically related to drunk driving), mentions of drug addiction, Whiskey being a dick, lotta heavy topics in general.

Read on AO3 | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

“Alright, so the X-Rays have come back and as you can probably already guess your left arm has been fractured”.

The news hadn’t been a shock to you at all - it was only logical that the result of being thrown off the back of a horse was your arm breaking from the impact of the fall, nevermind the sheer amount of pain that it had already caused you was even more indication that something was definitely wrong there. All things considered, it still wasn’t a pleasant piece of news to receive, causing you to let out a low groan as you settled back into the hospital gurney they had allocated to you after the ambulance had pulled you in. Dressed in only a hospital gown, you felt the chill from the room's air conditioning prick the edges of your skin, the coolness of temperature making the whole experience even more foreign to you. Of course, it wasn’t like you’d never been to a hospital before - an unlucky bout of croup had sent you to the emergency room as a little kid when you’d almost stopped breathing. At the resurgence of that particular memory you felt yourself shudder, recalling the hours spent passed out in a brightly lit room and being forced to drink gross tasting liquid that was meant to clear up your airways. At least you weren’t choking on your own breath this time round. 

“Well that’s just fantastic. How long will it take to heal? I kinda got a ranch to run” you asked the doctor, who was standing off to the side consulting the clipboard nestled against his arm. Sighing, he looked up at you with a look of sympathy while he ran through the information he’d jotted down on his notes. “Usually it takes twelve weeks for fractures to heal - given the fact that a good part of your arm has been displaced you’ll need to be put into surgery to shift the bone back into place, which we’ll have scheduled for you in the next twenty-four hours. Afterwards, I’ll be putting you in a cast for a couple of weeks and you’ll have to come back in for checkups weekly. I’ll also give you a list of rehabilitation exercises you can do to ensure the recovery process goes as smoothly as possible” he explained. “After your surgery and subsequent discharge, I heavily recommend a few days bed rest due to the concussion you have sustained”.  

“So I’m guessing most physical labour is out then” you muttered under your breath, sighing once you realized how heavily this would impact your ability to keep things running smoothly back at the ranch. Yes, you had employees but without you to oversee everything things would slow down and descend into madness real quickly. You wished you had allocated some sort of second in command for times like this, a manager of sorts to keep things in place while you recovered but you’d just never gotten around to it, brushing the thought aside every time it sprung up with a simple “Why would I need extra help anyway? Nothing ever happens around here”. 

“You’d be correct on that. Now, I have some other patients to check on but I will be back in about 20 minutes or so to prep you for surgery, though I will send a nurse to give you some painkillers so you can stop feeling the worst of the pain for at least a little while” he replied. You went to thank him but before you could you felt a light touch graze along your right arm. Your eyes glanced over to where Jack’s hand was placed, his touch delicate and comforting, sparking that same feeling in your chest that you’d felt when he’d stroked your forehead back at the ranch. His eyes met your own for a moment, deep cedar brown looking at you with nothing more than concern and worry, somehow pulling at a single string of your heart even though you wanted to fight against it with all your might.

Snapping you focus back into place, you nodded back over to the doctor and thanked him for all he was doing, listening to his reassurances that he’d have you fixed up as soon as possible as he hurried on out of the room to his next patient in need. Once he was gone, you exhaled in annoyance and went back to staring aimlessly at the ceiling, mulling over the inconvenience of your predicament. 

“Everything ok, sugar?” you heard Jack ask you, feeling his enchanting eyes study your expression, his anxiety over your wellbeing plain as day. Letting out a small laugh, you returned his question with a small smile of your own. “Does it look like I’m ok?” you joked, gesturing vaguely to your fractured arm. 

He chuckled at your sarcasm, always enjoying that certain fire you had to your character that refused to silence itself. Unbeknownst to you, that was one of things that drew him towards you in the first place - his own air of cockiness and confidence was equally matched by your spitfire and sarcastic wit. Finding out the sweet disposition that lay behind that harshness the first time round had taken him by complete surprise, but only did more to endear himself to you. God, he was such a fool for losing that. He was certain that your sweetness was still there, closed behind even more layers of hurt and pain that he’d caused such a large hand in. 

From the moment the ambulance had arrived, Jack had stayed beside you, refusing to leave for even a single moment. It was quite endearing, truth be told, a feeling that attempted to worm its way through your steadfast reasoning against him. He’s a liar. Don’t fall for his shit again, you repeated to yourself. Though it was becoming harder and harder to continue regarding him as your greatest mistake when he was behaving so kindly and gentlemanly towards you. Just a part of his deceptive charm, I guess, you thought bitterly. 

“Y’know, you don’t have to worry about things gettin’ outta hand down at the ranch. I’m more than happy to step up and help” he spoke up, snapping your attention back to his words and out of your own contemplation. You thought about his proposal for a minute, the temptation to say yes seeming very appealing towards you, though somehow that felt like admitting to weakness. The ranch wasn’t his responsibility, it was yours, left to you by your dear parents. It was your obligation to run it in their stead - there’d been difficulties along the way, sure, including the occasional nasty cold every now and then but you had pulled through without any trouble. You didn’t need help or any sort of handout, and you were more than capable of taking care of business by yourself, even with a broken arm.

Then again, it is gonna be kinda hard to run a business while being confined to bed rest. Briefly you thought about just closing the ranch for a couple of days while you got back on track yet once you thought about the loss in profits you discarded that idea quickly. It wasn’t like you were struggling to make ends meet but a dip in profits could cause a bit of issue. 

“Yeah but...It’s my responsibility. I can’t just ignore that because I got a stupid broken arm” you rebuffed, though you didn’t sound entirely convinced of what you were saying yourself. Sadly, stubbornness was your nature and even if you knew you were fighting a losing battle, sometimes it was more about the principle of having a position rather than whatever thing you were debating over. Some would say that was quite a counterproductive way to look at things, and you’d agree with them, yet you still remained stubborn in spite of them, feeding back into the cycle.  

“Darlin’, with all due respect, I think what’s best for you is that you take a step back and let someone else take the reins. You need to allow yourself to rest a lil. Tell me, in all the years of runnin’ the ranch by yourself, have you ever once taken a day off?”. 

“No, but-”.

“Exactly as I thought. You’ve been doing an amazing job at keeping things together for all these years, sweetheart, but you gotta relax a bit. Let me help you” he interrupted, gazing at you with those heart-meltingly sweet eyes of his, a look which made you seize up ever so slightly in minor fake annoyance. Little shit, he had to be doing that on purpose.

“Fine, only if it’ll get you to shut up” you relented, rolling your eyes in a dramatic fashion and hitting your head back down into the pillow below, eliciting a playful smirk from him in return. “That’s my girl, stubborn as always” he jested. 

To that you cocked an eyebrow at him in disbelief. “Your girl? Careful there, Jack, for a minute I thought you were capable of genuine compassion and care. I may have once been your girl, cowboy, but not anymore. Or did you happen to forget?”. 

His own expression softened slightly in regards to your snide remark, his mischievous grin faltering while he turned his gaze to the floor, looking somewhat sheepish towards what you had said, a far cry from his usual air of arrogance. “Yeah, I guess I deserve that” he murmured. “Tell me, sugar, do you ever think one day you’ll believe me when I say that I’m sorry?”. 

“When pigs fly, dearest” you smiled with a shit-eating grin, though you couldn’t miss that momentary flash of hurt in his eyes that made you pull back, a sharp pang striking through your chest that hurt harder than the agonizing ache in your arm, which really, was saying something. Could that be...guilt, perhaps?, you thought, searching Jack’s face for any further sign of offense. If he was feeling hurt, he was doing a pretty stellar job at hiding it. Maybe it was nothing, and even if he was hurt, well, he said it himself, he deserved it. Without giving you another minute to ponder your own feelings, a welcome interruption in the arrival of a nurse found you, shifting your thoughts towards the relief of finally getting some painkillers into you. 

___

The surgery had gone over well, and after a grueling day spent hanging out in that hospital room hopped up on painkillers you were finally discharged late afternoon the following day. The worst of your concussion had cleared itself up too yet you were still confined to your bed for those first few days - the doctor was insistent on that fact, saying you could never be too careful. You’d begrudgingly complied, not wanting to cause any further problems to your health, and even if you had tried to go against the doctor’s orders, you knew that Jack would be there to send you off back to bed if you dared lift a finger. 

Jack had doted on you the entire time, making sure you were well hydrated and cool enough in the midst of the hot Texas summer, fetching you snacks and whatever else you needed from downstairs. In his own words, what kind of man would he be if he didn’t take care of an ailing woman. You’d rolled your eyes and insisted that he didn’t have to go all out with looking after you yet he’d insisted. It was somewhat heartwarming, and it felt nice to be taken care of again after those last few years alone. It reminded you of when you’d come down with the flu back in third grade, staying home in bed lazily watching television and barely being able to keep your eyes open while your mum made soup in the kitchen. You could feel your heart drop at the mere recollection of your parents, pain that stayed beneath the surface rising up in full force. Usually you pushed those feelings down, not wanting to become distracted from the business, but today, you allowed yourself the indulgence of missing them. What would they think if they could see you now? Would they be proud, or disappointed? 

Feeling your stomach grumble, you shifted over in bed and reached your only good arm out to grab onto the half-eaten grilled cheese Jack had brought in for you five minutes before, letting out a low wince at the pain that writhed through your other arm, which had been placed into a cast and sling for the time being. Already you couldn’t wait for the day you could get the damned thing taken off - you hadn’t been able to shower and you felt grotty and gross. It wasn’t like you had to impress anyone, it was just you and Jack lying about the place. Still, you could only take so many days of waking up with unwashed greasy hair. And it was itchy too. Oh dear god, it was fucking itchy. You’d heard about how itchy the plaster could get second-hand but you never anticipated it to be that bad. 

Directing your eyes to the clock on your bedside, you took notice of the time and let out a small relieved sigh. You could finally take another one of those painkillers, the fourth and dismally last one for you of the day. 

Your relief quickly fizzled out into disappointment when you realised the packet of painkillers that had been sitting by your bedside was empty. “Seriously? It’s only been a few days, I couldn’t have gone through them already…” you muttered to yourself in annoyance. Nevermind, there was another packet downstairs. You may have been perfectly capable of getting out of bed and retrieving it yourself, though you found yourself not wanting to be bothered with such a task. “Hey Jack, you there? I ran out of painkillers, could ya run some up to me?” you called out.

“Sure thing, sweetheart” you heard him shout back, and no more than two minutes later he was striding through your bedroom door, carrying exactly what you had requested within his palms. “How are you feelin’?” he asked. 

“No better than six minutes ago when you last asked me that. Thanks for bringing these up though, fuck that stupid horse for bucking me off” you grumbled, sniping the blessed white packet out of his hands and into your fingers. “Pain making you grumpy, sweet girl? You seem a bit more full of spitfire than usual today” he joked. 

“Nah, you’re getting the discounted version today. If I wanted to vocalise exactly what I was feeling right now you’d be obliterated in a second” you laughed, chucking a tablet into your mouth and washing it down with a large gulp of water, anxious to feel some semblance of relief. 

“You don’t say. How’s your head doing, though? No dizziness or anything like that?”. 

“I’m fine, Jack, I promise. You don’t have to fawn all over me just because I broke my dumb arm” you assured, rolling your eyes at him. 

“I wouldn’t call in fawning, I only want to make sure you're comfortable and all that. Not only because of your arm and all” he smiled gently, reaching out to brush a stray hair off your forehead. It could have been the heat of the room but you could have sworn your skin felt on fire the moment he touched you. You could feel him press the back of his fingers against your head, unconsciously allowing your breath to hitch at his touch. And just like that, the warmth of his hand was gone, leaving an invisible searing mark in its place and your own head full of frenzied and confused thoughts. 

“Like I said earlier, just call out if you need anything else, alright darlin’?” he said as he was leaving, words that you didn’t care to take notice of as he left you to yourself again. Blinking slowly, you couldn’t even fully begin to describe what had just taken place, or why one little gesture was throwing your mind into somersaults. Why did his mere touch have to affect you like that? Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? Groaning loudly, you settled yourself underneath the sheet covering you and huffed at nobody in particular, cursing both yourself and him for even existing. For fucks sake...

___

Taking a sip of bourbon from your glass, you leaned against the side of the stairs of the veranda with your gaze fixated off into the distance, though you didn’t take any notice of what lay ahead, lost deep in your own thoughts that clouded your mind. It’d been a couple more days, and you’d finally been able to get out of bed and get back to helping out around the ranch - not that you were still of any use to anyone, given the state of your arm. It felt good to be back overseeing things, albeit a bit more behind the scenes than you had been in years. It’d be a good month or so before you were able to move your arm properly and have things back to normal. At first that fact did nothing short of irritating you, since you weren’t one to lie about helpless when work needed to be done. Over the last few days though, seeing the ranch go about with business as usual with Jack’s extra help had put you at ease a little. It still bothered you somewhat that you had to be asking any sort of help from Jack Daniels of all people, though really, he was the one offering it in the first place so you hadn’t so much as asked him to do anything, moreso conceding to his instistance at the behest of your stubbornness. 

The pain was getting a little better too, though whether that had more to do with the painkillers or not remained to be seen. For example, you couldn’t feel anything now but you had just ingested two glasses of pure straight bourbon, so of course any type of pain would be numbed. Remember when it could numb more than just that? You let out a small snicker at the thought, sounding as hollow and empty as it felt. Once upon a time you might have been classed as relatively lightweight, a fact that changed after years of the trials and tribulations life had thrown your way. You still got drunk easy, but it took a good few glasses before you actually passed out.

“You know, you should let me sign that for ya”. 

Hearing that familiar voice ring out from behind you, you swivel around so see its owner standing right in the opened doorway of your home, his hands casually resting in his pockets and his frame leant against the wall. “What are we, in middle school? I don’t want it getting dirty” you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him for good measure. 

He smirked right back at you, letting out a small snicker that mirrored your own. “Why not? It’s not like you're gonna have to be wearin’ it forever. A little scribble in permanent marker wouldn’t do ya any harm” Jack grinned, taking a large step forward to descend down to your level, seating himself right next to you on the veranda. You cocked an eyebrow at him, letting your fingertips trail over the edge of the glass in your hands while you stared at him with utter audacity. “And yet I know you’re only so persistent in signing it because you’ll write something crude or vaguely flirty” you snipped. 

“How little you think of me, sugar. I’d never dream of doin’ such a thing. I am nothing if not a gentleman”. 

“Oh, do cut the charm, Jack. What is it you want?”.

“Please, can’t a man share a glass of bourbon with a lady without being subjected to the Spanish Inquisition?” he asked, wearing his devilish and frustratingly charming grin as he spoke, the appearance of which you swore made your cheeks flush a little bit hotter. Probably because of the alcohol...and it is hot out here after all...

“Not this lady, cowboy” you stated, gulping down the last dredges of bourbon in your glass and placing it back down to the floor with a thud. You went to go grab the bottle from beside you but found Jack had already snatched it up, pouring you another glass. Mumbling out a small thank you, you considered asking him if he wants a glass of his own, however once you caught sight of his silver Statesman issued flask in his hands you dismissed the idea entirely. With nothing else left to say, you glanced back up to the sky above towards where the moon was hanging over you two, the delicate light illuminating the stretches of countryside around your property in a soft glow, one that was both enchanting and eerie at the same time. Every now and then you would be reminded of how beautiful the Texan countryside could look, whether it be bathed in the rays of that damned blistering sun or the enigmatic glimmer of moonlight. It could pull you back to moments lost in time, years ago sitting right where you were in that very same spot, seven years younger and with the exact same man sitting beside you, head rested on his shoulder and looking out into the vast expanse of midnight black. Funny how things change, don’t they?

Out the corner of your eye you saw Jack shake his head, his eyes quiet, the sparkle of stark confidence bordering on plain arrogance missing. It was a similar look to the one he’d given you at the hospital that night, before he’d tried to cover it up with a certain facade of indifference. “What will it take for you to believe I’m sorry? What happened between us, it was all-” he started before being unceremoniously cut off by your interjection. 

“In the past? I’m well aware of that. Doesn’t change how I feel” you stopped him. You’d anticipated him throwing out that line from day one and you’d come prepared. Shut it down. Don’t let him try to swindle you for a fool. 

His expression changed to one more serious, a hint of him being slightly miffed that you cut him off in the first place. “Let me finish, darlin’. I’m gonna level with you for a second - what I did to you was one of the worst mistakes of my life. Letting everything fall apart like it did, I never should have let it happen” he expressed, his tone straddling between being firm and also being gentle. Cocking an eyebrow at him, you turned back to your glass of liquor, swirling the liquid around idly in a way that reminded you of that persistent thought running round your head. Did he have a point? Were you being too harsh on him? 

Don’t become soft on him. Don’t do it. You shifted back into focus, pushing those thoughts far to the back of your tipsy mind while you took a couple large sips of liquor as if it were a lifeline. “Worse than whatever mistake led you to showing up on my doorstep?” you asked, eager to direct the conversation right back out of that uncomfortable territory and into something a bit more easier to stomach. Maybe later on you could ponder the true depths of your perceptions of Jack. Right now, though, you wanted to get wasted and not have to think about anything anymore. And hey, it’s not like I wasn’t wondering about the events that led him here in the first place anyway.“You never did tell me what happened. I know you said it was none of my concern but...I want to know. Call it a spate of drunken curiosity, if ya want”. 

The question alone was enough to draw Jack’s face from being merely serious to an expression more cold and distant. He looked away from you entirely and rested his gaze to the few steps below the two of you, his hand clenching in a subconscious act that alone was enough to tell you his own reservations regarding the topic. “Truth is, I’ve been fucking things up for a good couple of years. What happened to lead me here, well, it ain’t a pretty story”. 

“I don’t care, Jack, I wanna know” you asserted, surging with a sense of fiery confidence. It might have been the alcohol giving you a bit more moxie to push the topic. One thing was for sure though: you wanted answers, and you didn’t wanna let this go. Stretching your legs out, you finished off the glass you had while you waited for him to reply, not wanting to cave to your request even if he was looking at you like you’d threatened to kill the President. 

Finally, he let out a low groan of annoyance and leant against the side of the veranda, not affording you a single look as he launched into his tale. “Basically what happened is some agents from an English based secret service came over to the states as a last resort - their base got blown up by someone and the two guys that approached us were the only ones left alive. Well, them and this other guy we had at our headquarters, but that’s a whole other story. The people behind the attack were a group called the Golden Circle, and Statesman had already been investigating them for awhile. I was called in by Champ to partner up with the Kingsman fellas, do the regular secret agent spiel of espionage and savin’ the world and all that crap. But, me and these other agents, we had an...ideological disagreement. I was covertly tryin’ to hinder them until the older guy got wise to my shit and shot me in the head. Ginger managed to bring me in and revive me, I went over to Cambodia where the two agents were confronting the leader of the Golden Circle, and to make a long story short things got nasty pretty quickly. I barely escaped with my life” he explained.

You nodded along to his explanation, the load of information being a lot to take in the first time round. You were always somewhat aware of Jack’s position as a secret agent though you were never privy to the nitty and gritty details - in fact, the way you’d found out about it in the first place was by complete accident and Jack had to beg Agent Champ to allow you to become cleared on even knowing the basics of his true work behind the front of being a Statesman investor. “And these ideological disagreements were…?” you pushed. 

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know” he deflected.

“Try me”.

He didn’t reply to you straight away, instead staring at you with a stark look of confliction across his face, an inner turmoil brewing inside of him on whether or not he should tell you even more. Being cast out as a traitor, he didn’t have to worry about breaking any sort of rule of confidentiality, so if you had to wager a guess at what his dilemma was, then it must have been that he felt mildly ashamed, or even embarrassed about the whole situation. In your mind though, you’d let him keep his secrets for weeks now, but if he was going to stay in your house you wanted to at the bare minimum know what he did that was so bad that he simply couldn’t return back home anymore.  “Well go on then, hit me with your best shot” you prodded further, hopefully enough to get his demeanour to crack and for him to spill what exactly the entire fuss had been about. And sure enough, crack he did. 

Running a hand across his forehead, he let out a low exasperated sigh, one that would have been inaudible if you hadn’t been seated beside him, indicating the exact moment he finally decided to break his own silence and reveal everything to you. “The Golden Circle were primarily a drug cartel and terrorist organization based out in the hidden depths of the Cambodian jungle. Their leader had devised a plot that involved lacing their distribution of drugs with a new type of chemical she created that caused death. Since their supply was mass distributed over the globe, they were holding the entire populace of drug users and addicts hostage to their respective governments, demanding a payout for the antidote. They didn’t, however, anticipate the President and other world leaders not really giving a red hot shit about the lives of junkies. Being the noble men they are, the Kingsman agents as well as the rest of Statesman were striving to get ahold of the antidote to save all those people. And that, is where me and them disagreed” Jack elaborated, avoiding your gaze in what appeared to be a calculated move in order to refrain from seeing your reactions to his admittance. In the span of two minutes, your expression had shifted from intense curiosity to straight up bafflement at what he was saying. It didn’t make sense - why was he against distributing the antidote? He was a secret agent, wasn’t he meant to save the world and innocent lives and all that?

“Let me get this straight - you were assigned on a mission to try to save the lives of innocent people, and you chose...not to do that” you asked, your tone laced with judgment. Not that you had intended for what you said to have come across any different. If what he was implying was right, then that would mean...

“Well, when you put it like that, sure, it sounds awful. I will concede, it wasn’t my best move. But all the people who ingested those drugs did so willingly. They knew they were taking a gamble on their lives the moment they stuck a damn needle into their arms” Jack grumbled defensively, allowing you to gawk back at him in utter disbelief. “Jack, no, you can’t seriously believe that? So what you’re saying is that the kid that decided to get high with his mates one weekend at a party deserves to die? Is that right?”. 

“No, no, I didn’t mean like that, I just…”.

“Really? ‘Cause it sounds a lot like you’re saying that innocent people should die for their poor choices” you cut in, shaking your head to further drive your point in. “Jesus, just when I thought you couldn’t be a bigger asshole you proved me wrong”. 

“Sweetheart, please, I know. It was a mistake, you don’t have to keep rubbing it in”. 

“You know it’s a mistake, but do you truly feel it? Do you really feel remorse? Because if you don’t then it’s just a bunch of empty words” you rebuffed, shooting him with a cold piercing glare that could make an entire continent freeze over. Around about this time, you really began to take notice of the dazed feeling clouding you, every glass of liquor draining straight into your brain and making you feel like your entire head was swimming. Maybe take it easy on the next glass, why don’t ya? With that thought, you shoved the glass off to the side with your free arm and bit your lip, debating whether or not you should even say what you wanted to next. That debate, however, did not last very long as you found yourself blurting out exactly what was on your mind within two seconds of your last thought. “Jack, look...maybe I’ll hate myself for saying this later, and maybe it’s just the liquor talking but I don’t think you’re an inherently bad person. I think you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who does cruel stupid things but probably has a decent enough heart. You just...you gotta stop with this shit. Stop with the betrayals, and the lies, and the false promises, all of it, and just be the real you. The Jack I knew may be a prick but he was never one to let an innocent die on his watch. What’s really behind all this?”. 

He continued to glare from his position beside you, somewhat intent on making you recant and drop the whole subject entirely. You wouldn’t go down that easy though, and he knew it, for as stubborn as Jack was you were at least ten times moreso, so when he folded first and trained his eyes low to the ground, you knew that he’d finally conceded. You could feel a whole shift in his demeanour from where you sat, the mask of defensive anger slowly falling away to reveal what was truly underneath: hurt. Pure, raw, unbridled hurt. Anguish that felt especially familiar to you and spoke to a part of yourself that you’d been turning away from for years, and even before he said those words you knew exactly what he was going to say. 

“Years ago, before I became an agent to Statesman, I was married to the young woman I’d fallen for in high school. I think I told you about her in passing maybe once, or twice, I don’t know…” Jack started, trailing off once he began to fully re-immerse himself in the past, heartache plainly sewn across his features. It was then that you felt an ache of your own in your chest, a heavy feeling of guilt descending upon you once you realised the gravity of what he was saying. “I remember. You said her name was Lily, wasn’t it?” you murmured, your voice small and unsure, with a hint of something else present too. Regret? Guilt? Whatever it was, you couldn’t quite put a name to it, but it was there, strong as anything and clearly wasn’t going away any time soon. 

Jack let out a small hum in reply, everything about his composure presumably a million miles away from everything around the both of you.“So you do remember” he muttered, brushing his fingers over the edge of his silver flask that he had cradled in his handles, tracing the Statesman logo engraved on the side with the pad of his thumb. “I remember you askin’ me about her the first time you came back to my apartment in New York - you saw the photo of her I kept on my desk and asked who she was. I only told you briefly that she was long gone, but I never told you how. The both of us were only twenty-three, and she was pregnant with our first child, a baby boy. Last time I saw her she left the house to go to the convenience store a few streets over”. He stopped himself for a split second, the darkness of his eyes being the all-too recognisable sign of falling deep into his own recollection, feeling as if he was reliving every memory that he revisited in his mind. “Twenty minutes later I get a phone call from a cop, saying there’d been an incident. Meth addicts had robbed the store at gunpoint and she’d been caught in the crossfire. She died instantly, and I wasn’t there to say goodbye. I never got to meet our baby boy, I never got to hold her in my arms again and say how much I loved her, because she was taken from me by a couple of meth-addled scumbags”. 

You were honestly at a loss for words, not knowing if saying something would be the appropriate option or not. He was right, you knew he was married before - the time with the picture that he mentioned was the most you had heard of her. He never brought Lily up again, and you never thought to ask, since in your mind it wasn’t any of your business who Jack loved before. Now, the pieces were falling into place, the interwoven connections of his past to his actions as an agent making all the more sense to you. 

What you wanted to do most was lean forward and envelop him into your embrace, tell him that you understood more than anyone what exactly that felt like, and even permit yourself to pour out your own heart to him. Drunk as you were though, you couldn’t talk yourself into doing anything more than placing a reassuring hand on his knee, letting your touch be soft and hesitant in case he shrugged you off, since you did basically just goad him into revealing his own wounds in the name of having answers. “Jack, I...I had no idea, I-”. 

“How could you have known? I never told you” he mumbled flatly. In the dim veranda light, all though it was faint, you could swear that there was a teardrop lingering in the corner of his cedar brown eyes, nudging the dagger of guilt further into your heart. Say something, you idiot.

Starting off softly, you let your hand rest firmer on his knee, trying to catch his eyes into your own. Tearing his glance away from the flask, he looked back at you with the same raw grief that you had seen on your own face so many times. “I know it must have hurt like hell losing her. And you have every right to feel angry, and hurt that she was taken, but that doesn’t give you the right to hate. Every addict in the world is not the same man who took her life. You can’t just-” you started, before the sound of Jack’s harshest tone cut through your words like a knife. 

“How would you know? Do you have any idea what it feels like to hurt, to have lost everything because of someone else’s choices?” he spat, anger seething in his scowl that was directed solely at you. It had taken you by surprise at first - as a reflex you withdrew your hand quickly from him as if he were burnt, perplexed at his sudden outburst. That didn’t last long however, as soon enough confusion was replaced by your own flair of anger. Now it was your turn to get defensive.“I think I do know what it’s like to hurt and to lose. In case you’ve forgotten, dickhead, there’s two people who should be right inside this house that aren’t anymore and haven’t been for about six fucking years now!” you yelled back. 

Shit. He’d forgotten about your parents. The anger that had been in him disappeared without a trace right then, being replaced by something close to resembling remorse over his behaviour. “I...I didn’t mean...fuck, sugar, I…I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say” he apologised. You didn’t say anything back to him. You didn’t want to dignify him with any sort of a response. First of all, how dare he? You were only trying to empathise with him, and here he was biting your head off for daring to suggest that he doesn't hate every drug user on the planet. Why do I even fucking bother? 

The awkward silence between you hung for awhile, the two of you not wanting to break it for your own different reasons. You could feel Jack stealing glances at you, like he was trying to talk himself into saying something but never had the courage to follow through. Huffing to yourself, you took in your next glass fast enough to make your head spin. You’d have to turn in for the night eventually, and truth be told you were considering doing so right then when you heard Jack speak up. 

“I never did ask...if you don’t mind me askin’ that is...what happened to your folks anyway?” he asked hesitantly, as if he knew the question was fat-witted to begin with. Not that you minded too much by then. Drunk you was a lot more forgiving than you were sober. 

Taking in a heavy breath, you relayed your tale of woe to him, one hand placed steady to your side to keep you sitting upright. “It was late, and they were coming back from a friend’s 50th birthday party. Their friend lived in downtown Dallas, so they had a fair way to go to get from there to here. When they were almost on the highway, an out-of-control car barrelled towards them, smashing into the front of their windscreen and killing both of them instantly. The driver of the other car had been drinking - according to the local news he was a known alcoholic and had been out having a heated argument with his friend in the passenger seat. The only survivor of the entire collision had been his friend”. 

You saw Jack blink at you in silent shock, the weight of your words falling heavily on him while he continued to process it all. “Shit, darling, I feel like an even bigger piece of shit than I already did. If you slapped me clean across the face and kicked me out on my ass after this I wouldn’t blame ya one bit” he replied to you solemnly in a way that didn’t leave you questioning the authenticity of his words - he was genuinely sorry this time round. Taking his apology in stride, you shrugged back at him  and acted as nonchalant about the whole thing as possible, not wanting to ponder the topic further. As far as you were concerned, you’d felt enough things for one day and would very much like a break from it all. 

“It’s fine. You had no way of knowing. But please, if you take anything from this, at least listen to my words: externalising hate towards random people only feeds your trauma. It doesn’t resolve anything, and the only person left suffering in the end is yourself”. 

He furrowed his brow at you, most likely feeling a little defensive that the topic had circled back around to here, but considering his unruly display of anger earlier he wasn’t one to indulge in his own instinctual need to defend his position. “But...didn’t you want the man who took your parents away to suffer? Didn’t you look at every other drunk driving incident in the papers with a little more anger and rage than before?” he asked, earning a single eyebrow raise from you in return. “I mean...I guess what I’m trying to say is...it’s so easy to hate...why didn’t you fall into that trap?”. 

“Well, I did, for a little. It was almost tempting to look at every person I saw struggling with alcoholism in red. Since the man who caused the collision was already dead as a result of his own mistakes, at times I’d externalise part of that pain I was feeling onto others, and sometimes that anger became so hot and so burning that it was almost impossible to ignore. I realised pretty quickly that hating alcoholics wasn’t going to bring my parents back and that I’d have to make peace with their passing at some point. Honestly, I still haven’t processed a lot of that shit myself yet I’m still out here living my life as best I can, and really, with my own drinking habits I’d be a goddamn hypocrite to even try to find any true hatred in my heart towards heavy drinkers” you explained. Taking one last sip of bourbon, you discarded your glass off to your side and chuckled lightheartedly. “God, If I drink another glass I’m gonna collapse on the fucking floor. Think it might be time for me to turn in for the night. At least it’s Sunday tomorrow so we can sleep in a lil”.

“Y-you’re goin’ to bed? You’re not telling me to get lost or anything?” Jack sputtered in disbelief, which in turn earned him a minorly strange look from you. “Why would I do that?” you asked. 

“I quite literally just admitted to treason against my former organization to you”. 

“So? You made a mistake. A pretty fucking big mistake, and a shitty one at that, but still, a mistake. You obviously have some of your own pain you need to work through, and I can get that. Doesn’t mean I agree with what you did, but I get it. I’m not gonna kick you to the curb just because you have issues”.Upon saying that, you hoisted yourself up by latching your free arm onto the veranda’s fenceline, stumbling a little as you fought to maintain your balance while being both drunk and unable to fully utilise one of your arms. Nevertheless, you’d managed to straighten yourself up, and once you’d determined that you were alright to take yourself upstairs you faced on towards the front door and grasped at the brass knob in your hands, taking a brief pause to turn back and nod softly towards the man behind you. “Night Jack, I’ll see ya tomorrow” you called out, leaving him to sit there and watch you disappear back into the house with a certain look of dumbfounded astonishment.

Tag list (lemme know if you wanna be added): @giselatropicana​

[lonelydiary]

Hello Hope you are doing well.

If you are taking prompts will you do one where Alex is sceptical of Lena and Kara dating post the events of 5 x 08. It results in her walking in on them countless times

Alternatively Alex growing to trust lena again.

Hello! I'm doing fine, just a lot of work lately and a little inspiration, that's why it takes me so long to write something, for which I'm sorry.😔 Hope you're doing well too, anon!👍 Without further ado, let me give you this small drabble.

*****

Alex was very protective of her little sister as long as she can remember. Well, technically it's not true, because at first their relationship was on a rocky road, then they get to know one another. But that was for a very small amount of time, which Alex don't like to remember.

So when her sister started dating Lena Luthor, of all the people, noone could blame her that she was a little skeptical . Now, don't get her wrong, Alex doesn't like to judge someone only by her of his name, and at some level she respects and admires the youngest Luthor, but her behavior lately, especially towards Kara, was... questionable. She lied to Kara, manipulated her, used kryptonite on her, and so on. So is it hard to believe that she was a little tense and untrusting, when she literally walked on Lena and Kara giving each other heart eyes and almost doing indecent things?

First it happened in Lena's office at L-Corp, when she wanted to ask for an advice of a youngest Luthor in scientific research and walked on Lena and Kara smiling and laughing at each other with no care in the world, where Lena was almost sitting on her sister's lap and Kara was tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Second time it happened at a game night, then Lena and Kara was playing as a team (as if they wouldn't, duh) and when her sister thought noone was looking she gently kissed Lena's cheek and whispered something in her ear and Lena was a lovely shade of red and giggling like a school girl.

Third time it happened at the DEO, when Kara was laying under sun lamps after beating an alien twice her size, and Lena run into med bay, hugged Kara so tight Alex was sure her bones would be broken if she wasn't krypronian and kissed her sister like her life depended on this. No amount of coughing and clearing throat, Alex did, would stop them.

The fourth time it happened at the Cafe near Kara's home, where Kara has invited Alex to have brunch with her and Lena (never again, Alex swore to herself) and her sister ate so much donuts, anyone would be grossed, but Lena just looked lovingly at Kara, wiped the corner of her mouth with her thumb from chocolate and kissed her on the cheek. (Thank God!)

The fifth time it was at Kara's birthday party, and Alex overheard (not intentionally!) their conversation at the balcony.

- I'm truly sorry, darling, I forgot your present at home - said Lena and you could actually hear her pout.

- It's ok, Lena, I don't care, you are here and that's all that matters.

- I swear, tomorrow morning I will give you it, how was I so...

- Hey, hey its ok, you know I don't need anything as long as you're with me right? You make me so happy, Lena. I love you.

- And I'm never gonna stop doing just that. I love you too, darling.

And that night Alex knew, that as long as Lena make her sister so happy and loved as she does every day, she can trust and love (not like Kara, gross!) Lena too.

****

I hope you liked it and thank you for your prompt! 💙❤

[shadyufo]

Hey, is it possible for you to share your bone cleaning procedure? Yours always seem to come out super bright! It's ok if it's a trade secret, love from the UK!

Thank you for the kind words, Anon! And I’m always glad to share what I know! I’ve made a ton of mistakes over the last 20+ years I’ve been processing bones so if I can share any knowledge I’ve gained to help others from making those same mistakes then I’m happy to do so. 

Bone cleaning can be broken down into three fairly basic stages: remove the flesh, remove the grease, and then whiten. That’s pretty much it. Now there are a lot of variations to all of these steps but here’s what I usually do:

To remove the flesh: If the specimen is fairly fresh then I’ll usually skin it and deflesh it (cut away as much meat as possible such as the organs, tongue, eyes, brains, and major muscle groups). This isn’t totally necessary and can be skipped if you don’t want to mess with the mess but it does speed the cleaning process up a bit and prevents you from having to sort through fur and hair to collect bones down the line. But I’ve skipped skinning and defleshing plenty of times over the years with no ill results.

Next choose your method of decay. You can use dermestid beetles, macerate in warm water, nature clean, etc. Just be sure to NEVER BOIL and I generally advise against simmering too because there’s a very fine line between cleaning and damaging bones there. I used to have beetles and they are great, especially for smaller specimens but nowadays I personally prefer maceration or nature cleaning. 

Maceration is pretty simple—put the specimen in a bucket of heated water (85-110 degrees Fahrenheit is ideal and can be achieved with a fish tank heater or bucket heater), put a lid on the bucket, and wait at least a couple of weeks. It’s gonna smell and it’s gonna smell bad when you open that bucket up but it’s a really good method for cleaning bones. The maceration process is done when all of the tissue has rotted off the bones. Don’t change the water during this process or you’ll lose your bacteria colony (responsible for decomp) and they’ll have to start all over again.

Nature cleaning can be done several different ways. You can use old wire animal cages or build your own cage/box, place the specimen in that, then let nature takes its course and rot the specimen down to bones for you. You can also put the specimen in a plastic trash bag with some holes poked in it, put it under a bucket or other container, weigh it down so no passing scavengers will tip it over and steal your specimen, then again wait for nature to do its thing. You can also bury a specimen in a flower pot or even in a container filled with horse manure to let it rot. I haven’t done it in a while but the horse manure method was pretty cool. Whatever nature cleaning method you choose just make sure to cover or secure your specimen well enough to keep scavengers from stealing it. 

Now for degreasing! I usually just use Dawn dish soap (any good grease-cutting soap will work) and hot water (85-115 degrees Fahrenheit). Change the water as it becomes cloudy or develops a film on the surface and keep it up until the water starts staying clear. Then let the skull dry and see if you notice any smells or stains. If so, continue degreasing. If not, on to whitening. That’s pretty much it. Some people prefer to use ammonia to degrease with but I’ve always been happy with the hot, soapy water process myself.

Whitening! I just use 3% hydrogen peroxide to whiten skulls. NEVER USE CHLORINE BLEACH on bones—hydrogen peroxide only. Chlorine bleach will eat away at the bone until it becomes brittle, flaky, and discolored. Even after you take the bone out of the bleach it will still continue to degrade it. Peroxide is the way to go. Soak the skulls in it an open container out in direct sunlight. Make sure they are totally submerged in the peroxide. You can water the peroxide down to make it go further if you want. Being exposed to air and sunlight degrades the peroxide faster but I’ve always found that the added whitening boost you get from the sun is worth the trade-off and skulls do get whiter, faster this way in my experience.

That’s pretty much it! You can experiment around and see what method works best for you but hopefully this will give you some good ideas to start. Best of luck and happy collecting! :)

[wozwaid]

Line Without a Hook: Josuke x Fem!Reader

SONG FIC SONG FIC! listen to Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery (not while reading its too confusing) (https://open.spotify.com/track/5jvgec3P4jyoZUPTy2pWDR?si=qoy5JJHHRnOVqj7JWmrjSw) 

I’m gonna do my best to make it as fluffy as possible, but there’ll be angst too since this song makes me cry SO MUCH.

TW: fluff, angst, mentions of abuse, and a HAPPY ENDING

I’m also doing the entire fucking song so CUT FOR LENGTH!~

LETS GO!

I don’t really give a damn about the way you touch me when we’re alone. You can hold my hand if no one’s home.

Josuke had been friends with y/n since they were children.  It was the first day of their first year in high school. He had a strange interaction with a man who happens to be his nephew as well as a short boy who’s apparently in the same grade as you both. As you all ran to school, Josuke was bombarded by fangirls. As he tried to wave them off, you slowly intertwined your fingers with his and gave a greeting to the girls. They noticed, and immediately apologized, rushing to school. It was as if time had stopped moving for him. Y/n l/n was holding his hand. 

Do you like it when I’m away? If I went and hurt my body, baby, would you love me the same?

Y/n was the first person that Josuke told about his “ghost”, as he phrased it. Y/n was the only one who believed him. Her eyes shone when he explained what the ghost could do, what it looked like, etc. During their childhood, y/n was a clutz who tended to get hurt easily, only for the wounds to miraculously disappear. Crazy Diamond always found his way back to y/n. Always hovering nearby, making sure that she stayed safe and away from harm. Of course where there’s Crazy Diamond, there’s Josuke, always staring at y/n wishing he could hold onto her forever and never let go.

I can feel my bones coming back and I’m craving motion. Mama never learned how to live by herself.

However the ghost would never help Josuke when he got hurt, and he would get hurt. A lot. As they grew older, many of the other men in their class viewed Josuke as a threat and insulted him resulting in both parties getting injured. No matter what the situation was, Josuke would never get healed. Therefore y/n made it her personal duty to help treat his wounds and would walk him home. His mother grew fond of y/n, constantly inviting her and her family over for dinner. It became a ritual for the families to come together. The adults would sit downstairs and talk while Josuke and y/n went upstairs to play games.

It’s a curse, and it’s growing. You’re a pond and I’m an ocean.

Flash-forward to the present day. Josuke wakes up to banging on his door. ‘It’s 3 am! Who could be here?’ He thought as he trudged down the stairs to the front door and peered through the peephole. There he saw y/n, shivering and crying in the cold night. He threw the door open and pulled her inside, running upstairs to grab a blanket and a jacket for her. “Y/n, what’s up? Are you ok?” He asked, sitting down on the couch next to her. Y/n had had a panic attack late at night. “I didn’t know where else to go, but I didn’t want to be at home.” She said drowsily, before falling asleep, holding onto Josuke. He laid back, enveloping the girl in his arms, relaxing into the couch. ‘I want to stay like this forever’ he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

Oh, all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around, and I’ve found a way to kill the sounds.

Feelings were difficult. Hard to understand. The fangirls were becoming unbearable for y/n. Josuke had invited her to hang out at the pier on Saturday, which she immediately accepted. Josuke has this charm about him, which always results in girls feeling tempted to go up to him and strike up a flirty conversation. Right in front of y/n. The girl kept telling herself that she wasn’t jealous. It wasn’t jealousy, he just needs to be with someone who truly understands who he is! Who will stay by his side no matter what. Without thinking, y/n grabbed his hand and started jogging to the arcade. “Yo, y/n? What was that about?” He asked, gawking at the girl. “I-uh... I saw DDR! Wanna play?” She asked. “ UH... YES?!” he shouted, taking her hand and pulling her to the arcade counter to buy coins for the game. He soon noticed he was holding hands with his crush. Face turning red, he excused himself and ran to the bathroom, splashing water on his face to ‘get a grip man!’

(That line reminded me of the 5G’s: Good god girl getta grip. RPDR? Nobody? Just me? Huh.)

Oh, baby, I am a wreck when I’m without you. I need you here to stay.

As Josuke’s feelings for y/n developed, she developed as well, and he wasn’t the only one who noticed. Y/n had been receiving confessions left and right from boys and girls both younger and older than them. Her feelings for Josuke overpowered all else. However, she had taken a liking to a particular boy and strangely enough, accepted his confession. Y/n seemed happy, so Josuke played along, congratulating her on her new relationship, secretly cursing himself for not doing it sooner. For being afraid of ruining their friendship.

I broke all my bones that day I found you crying at the lake.

After a few months of dating her boyfriend, Josuke began to notice a shift in y/n’s attitude. She became more closed off, quiet, emotional. She wore long shirts and hoodies to cover herself and sometimes showed up to school in sunglasses. Josuke began to investigate the situation. He followed y/n and her boyfriend on their date to the lake where her boyfriend began scolding her, gripping her wrist tightly. Josuke immediately stepped in, picking up the smaller man by his collar and beating the shit out of him as y/n broke down into tears. Josuke scooped her up when he was finished and carried her back to his car. “Why didn’t you tell me.” He said, less of a question and more of a statement. “I-I just- I didn’t know-” The girl stammered “ Y/N. I’M SUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOU.  YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS ABOUT YOU, DATING THAT DUMB FUCKER. I JUST HAD TO SIT THERE AND WATCH! DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DID TO ME?!” He screamed, immediately covering his mouth after the words left. Before he knew it, y/n had gotten out of his car and was walking in the opposite direction.

Was it something I said to make you feel like you’re a burden? Oh, and if I could take it all back, I swear that I would pull you from the tide.

Y/n had broken up with her boyfriend, and for that Josuke was relieved, however she hadn’t spoken to him since that day at the lake. She ignored his countless calls and texts apologizing for the things he said, but he knew that she was upset. She needed space, and he respected that. She walked through the crowded halls with new friends. Y/n continued to ignore him and the rest of his group. She avoided him and the gang at all costs. It’s not like she hated Okuyasu, Koichi, and Yukako, just wherever they were, there was Josuke, and as much as she needed to be around him, the thought of seeing his face was too much for her to handle.

The wind is a-pounding on my back and I found hope in a heart attack. Oh at last, it is past. Now I’ve got it and you can’t have it.

Months passed. No contact was exchanged between the two of them. Not even a glance. Summer passed and they had started their second year of high school. Y/n truly did begin to understand how difficult it was to be in love with your best friend. And the worst part, no matter how much she forced herself to move on, all her thoughts lead her back to Josuke. When she was sad, she thought of Josuke’s bright smile and energetic laugh. That always put a smile on her face.

But she had lost him. To a girl in the year below them. He looked at the girl the way that he used to look at y/n, with eyes full of so much love and adoration. 

Baby, I am a wreck when I’m without you. I need you here to stay. I broke all my bones that day I found you crying at the lake. Was it something I said to make you feel like you’re a burden? Oh, and if I could take it all back I swear that I would pull you from the tide.

Life wasn’t the same without Josuke. Y/n had shed too many tears over that boy, so much so that she began to throw up from crying so hard. She was a wreck without him. Her mind drifted back to the time that Josuke had saved her from that abusive relationship. ‘Why didn’t I tell him…’ She thought. ‘It’s my fault.’ Little did she know, Josuke was in his room, breaking into pieces. The world was collapsing around him, tearing his heart. He was never happy with that girl. The only reason he agreed to date her was that she was so similar to y/n. The same smile, bubbly personality, warm presence. The only difference was that she wasn’t y/n. Only y/n could make him smile in the most genuine way possible, make his heart pound rapidly against his chest, make all the blood in his body move to his cheeks when she touched him. It really is hard to be in love with your best friend.

Darling, when I’m fast asleep I’ve seen this person watching me, saying, “Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Tell me, is it worth it?”

Y/n never realized how much she needed Josuke until she lost him. Life wasn’t worth living without him by her side. She felt so empty, so cold, so alone. So lost. She missed the family dinners, the intense gaming sessions, the long talks at night. She missed how loved she felt when she was around Josuke, but it was gone. He was gone.

Because there is something, and there is nothing. There is nothing in between.

Y/n got herself together. A life without Josuke wasn’t a life worth living, however, she always felt Josuke by her side. She could feel his spirit next to her, watching over her, never leaving. The feeling of Josuke’s presence never left her. Josuke had begun to lose control of CD over time. Whenever he was summoned and finished his work, he would immediately begin to move in the direction of the L/n residence. No matter how much Josuke convinced himself that he didn’t love y/n, his stand always returned to where he needed to be the most. Right by y/n’s side.

And in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer watching over me, he’s singing “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy” He’s singing, “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Josuke couldn’t take it anymore. Y/n was too good for him. She deserved so much more than him, but he felt compelled to see her. He rushed over to her house, banging on the door. No lights were on. Y/n wasn’t home. He immediately sprinted down to the first place he could think of. It was a longshot, but he felt that she would be there. She had to have been there.

Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you. I need you here to stay. I broke all my bones that day I found you crying at the lake.

He stopped running, having reached his goal. Panting, he looked around to find the girl he so desperately needed to see. And there she was. Sitting on the dock, her feet in the water, wearing his hoodie. Slowly, he approached her, hands shaking. “Y-y/n.” He cursed himself for stuttering. The girl turned to see the boy she had been subconsciously waiting for. “Josuke…”

Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden, oh, and if I could take it all back, I swear that I...

“I’m sorry!” They exclaimed at the same time, staring into each other’s eyes. No words were exchanged after that, yet both knew what the other was trying to say. Josuke stepped towards the girl, cupping her cheek. His heart melted as he saw her relax into his touch. He leaned in slowly, watching to see if she would pull away. She didn’t. He captured her lips in a soft yet passionate kiss, expressing all the things he wanted to tell her but couldn’t figure out how to say it. As they pulled back, y/n saw the look. The look that was full of pure adoration and love. They sat down on the dock as y/n rested her head on his shoulder. Finally, Josuke spoke. “I missed you.”

would pull you from the tide.

The End

[playwright-fate]

Nights at the clinic (act I)

Anders/f!Hawke (Valia Hawke)

2182 words

Summary: Act 1. Anders is having a difficult day at the clinic. Hawke shows up. And strangely, everything gets better.   

“Anders. Something terrible just happened.”  

He whipped around, recognising the voice instantly.     

Hawke.    

His gaze examined her quickly, but she looked completely fine. No blood, no tears, no desperate expression on her face.  

She pointed her thumb back at the clinic door she had just entered through. “I walked into the milk bowl in front of your clinic. Broke it. Milk everywhere. It’s a catastrophe.” To illustrate this, she lifted her right foot towards him. There were indeed some white drops on her boot. “I’m terribly sorry. Mind if I stay here for a while? There’s no way I’m getting back out now,” she added, making a few steps forward.

READ IT ON AO3

Administrating a clinic for refugees in Darktown and being its main and often only healer, was never easy.

But some days were definitely more difficult than others.

Like today.

“Open wide,” Anders said as he tried once more to make Conor drink his anaesthetic so he could put his dislocated shoulder back in place and treat his broken arm. The injuries were apparently the result of a nasty fall which had happened in circumstances still very obscure to Anders as the eventful story had been interrupted three times already without anyone deigning to pick up exactly where it was left off and its main tellers, Conor and his eldest brother, Angus, kept disagreeing on the details. Anders was still waiting for the final word on whether Conor had slipped from this height or that height (which diverged from a few centimeters only) or if the neighbour’s son had been wearing a red or a green tunic.  

“Conor, open your mouth, please.”

“Nooooo.” The boy–too busy fighting with his brother Angus over a wooden figurine–shook his head vehemently, avoiding the spoon Anders had been holding in front of him for the past five minutes.

Angus usually took his role of eldest brother seriously. With all the chaotic authority of an eleven-year-old boy, he had brought Conor and their younger brother Laurie down to the clinic an hour ago already but had since served more as a distraction and an added challenge for Anders now that he was trying to treat them than as any kind of authority figure which could have helped him manage them.

Or more particularly manage Conor.

The boy kept wincing as he flailed his broken arm around, but that did not seem to stop him from fidgeting constantly and trying to grab things. If not the toy figurine, then grabbing Anders’s staff or swishing around his vials. One bottle already lied broken at his feet.

“Do you want to feel better?” The boy nodded eagerly, but his eyes were fixed on the wooden toy his brother had secured for himself again. “Great, then open wide.”

“No.” 

“Maker’s–” Anders stopped himself before saying something he would regret in front of children. He looked at the ceiling.

He knew the boys well. They were one of the poorest family in Darktown. Their father had died a few months ago, leaving their mother and eldest sister to work day and night to feed them.

So Anders really wanted to help them.

But Anders had also been woken up at five that morning, not even an hour after he had gone to bed, by a panicked man and his very pregnant wife about to give birth. The delivery had been difficult. And then the rest of the day had been a blur of incessant comings and goings of patients, each one sicker than the last. He had not even sat down once since he had gotten up that morning. So right now, saying he was starting to lose patience was an understatement.

He put down the spoon and turned to Laurie, the youngest, quietly shivering on the clinic’s bed, looking all sick and ready to nod off. Only his eyes followed from time to time and with some envy the trials and tribulations of the wooden toy. His state looked worrying enough to calm Anders’ nerves a little.

“So, what’s happening to you?” Anders asked gently, touching his burning forehead.

“It’s Tom that gave it to him, I saw–” Conor exclaimed.

“Nah, he just ate something rotten,” Angus cut in.

“Who’s Tom? Is he ill too? And what did Laurie eat?” Anders asked, trying to listen to everybody at the same time.

Angus shrugged. “Dunno. Something.”

“No, it’s Tom that gave it to him! I saw him! He wiped his nose on Laurie’s shirt yesterday! I saw it!”

“Who’s Tom?” And could someone stop him from wiping his nose on people’s clothes, Anders thought distractedly.

But the boys weren’t listening to him.

Angus shoved his brother. “Stop lying! You didn’t see shit. We did not even see Tom yesterday!”

“I’m not lying! You’re lying!” Conor said as he tried to push back and pry the wooden figuring away from his brother’s hands again.

Taking his hundredth big breath of the day, Anders thought he might just set fire to the wooden toy and be done with it when he heard some noise outside the clinic.

If the templars entered the clinic right now to arrest him, Anders thought, he would not even be surprised. That was certainly the kind of day when those things might as well happen.

Wait, was that a hissing sound?

He grabbed his staff as he heard someone step into the clinic.

“Anders. Something terrible just happened.”

He whipped around, recognising the voice instantly.

 Hawke.

His gaze examined her quickly, but she looked completely fine. No blood, no tears, no desperate expression on her face.

She pointed her thumb back at the clinic door she had just entered through. “I walked into the milk bowl in front of your clinic. Broke it. Milk everywhere. It’s a catastrophe.” To illustrate this, she lifted her right foot towards him. There were indeed some white drops on her boot. “I’m terribly sorry. Mind if I stay here for a while? There’s no way I’m getting back out now,” she added, making a few steps forward.

The boys stopped quarrelling to look at her. Anders scratched his forehead. “That’s the terrible news?”

With her curly dark brown hair tumbling down to her waist, her dark olive skin and those sparkling dark brown eyes, she truly offered a striking sight.

She’s pretty, he thought. And that wasn’t the first time this had crossed his mind. And he was getting a bit worried about it.

“Well, try to tell that to the cats outside. I just got hissed on Anders and I don’t know much about cats, but that looked serious enough.” She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “there’s a whole gang out there, Anders.”

Anders stared at her, then shook his head, amused. “Ok, ok. I’ll put some milk back again in a minute. And I will try to plead your case if they’re willing to listen,” he added playfully.

“Thank you.”

Their eyes lingered on each other.

He cleared his throat, trying to focus back on his patients and get their attentions again, but they were visibly fascinated by Hawke who winked and waved at them as she approached.

“Hey boys.”

They waved back at her.

“So,” she said, sitting in the chair next to where Anders was standing, himself back to facing the three boys who sat next to each other on the same bed, “come here often?” She crossed her ankles up on an empty bed and wiggled her brows at him.

 Maker, he almost blushed now.

“Hawke, please, I need to focus.” He tried to sound stern, but the corner of his lips twitched.

She hummed and her eyes sparkled as she looked around the clinic. “Can I help? I could cut something! Skin, tendons, bones, I’m your girl,” she said with a bright smile as Anders tried to look at Connor’s arm again.  

The boy gasped at Hawke’s words and threw a pleading stare at Anders. “You’re not gonna cut my arm, right?”

“Nobody’s going to cut anything,” Anders reassured him, “but you have to let me look at your arm now.”

“Or I’ll have to cut it,” Hawke added, not even trying to sound menacing as her smile widened.

Connor held his arm tighter against him.

“Hawke, no–“ Anders started but stopped as he caught her grinning at the boys. Angus giggled.

 Maker, he really was tired.

He tried to relax as he saw Laurie break into a small smile. Conor, though, took the spoon out of Anders’ hands and gulped down his anaesthetic.

Anders put his hands on his hips and stared at them. “Well.”

“So, you sure you don’t need my help? These can truly cut through anything you know.” She unsheathed two of her knives out of their scabbards.

They were dirty and still stained with dried blood from a previous fight.

Anders stared at the knives.

She stared at the knives.

Then they stared at each other.

“No, thank you,” and “I can clean them if you want,” they said at the same time.

Hawke shrugged. “As you wish, but that’s your loss, really. My cuts are very precise.”

Anders chuckled. “Oh, I know.” He had seen her kill someone with just one throw of her knives the last time they had fought together.  

She grinned and again their eyes lingered on each other. Anders forgot what he was doing for a second, stupidly standing in front of her.

 Maker, Anders, get a grip.

He turned back to his patients, while she distractedly twirled her knives in her hands, chatting with them as she did so. The boys were hypnotised. Perhaps letting her do this in front of impressionable young boys wasn’t the right thing to do. But they were Fereldan refugees from the Blight living in the poorest area of Kirkwall after all, they had probably seen far worse than that.

And while she did so examining and treating them became much, much easier.

“Can you throw one?” Angus said suddenly, excitedly pointing at one of her knives.

“Yeah, sure!” she exclaimed and without pause started to take aim.

“No!” Anders dropped Conor’s arm and jumped to stop her before she could do it, just as she was aiming vaguely at the back of the clinic where one of his assistant was probably preparing some potion right now.

He grabbed her hand and her skin was soft and warm against his palm. He swallowed while she looked at him, surprised. “No, Hawke, you can’t,” he managed to say before letting go of her hand.

“Ok.” She shrugged at the boys and then resumed her conversation as if nothing had happened. “So you guys are all brothers, right?”

They nodded.

“I used to have a brother too.”

There was a small silence as she seemed lost in thought for a moment. Anders glanced at her, surprised at the sudden wistfulness of her tone.

“What happened to him?” asked Laurie.

Anders’ gaze was still on her. He was curious too. She had never told him about a brother.

She sighed before she composed herself and turned to smile at them. “Let’s just say we didn’t make it to the clinic in time.” She stopped twirling her knives for a second. “Well, in my defence there was no clinic around, really.” Shadows flickered over her face and Anders found that he had unconsciously taken a step towards her. “You guys are pretty lucky Anders is around. So better be nice with him then, right?”

Hawke winked at him, and this time Anders blushed for real.

The boys looked down at their feet, momentarily embarrassed and timidly nodding.

“So, anyway, how are you boys going back home? Want me to escort you?”

Conor, who had warmed up to her quite easily after his initial fright, almost bounded out of his seat. “Yes!”

But his eldest kept him in place. “Our sister is coming to pick us up. Mom said we shouldn’t follow strangers.”

“And she’s right,” said Anders.

“Oh cool! My sister’s coming to pick me up too.” They all looked at Hawke. “What? ‘Ts true. Hey look! She’s here! Oy, Beth!” And indeed, her sister had just walked into the clinic. “Look, that’s my sister, Bethany! And oh, there’s my boy!” Byron, her huge mabari, bounded in her direction as soon as he saw her. Hawke dropped to her knees to meet him. “Who’s a good boy? Yes, that’s you! The good boy!” She scratched his offered belly. “Yes, you’re the best boy!”

Byron barked in approval, twisting happily on the floor.

If the brothers were fascinated by Hawke before, they were now completely enthralled.

Anders tried to keep them in place, but he had lost them. In an instant, they leaped from their seat and crouched on the floor next to Hawke and her dog, asking questions about him and scratching every last corner of his fur. Even Laurie was beaming, seeming much better than when he had walked in, and Anders wasn’t sure it was all due to his own healing abilities.

“Why is there milk spilled all over the clinic’s entry?” Bethany asked, looking at Anders, “I had to fend off a gang of cats to come in and I almost cut my foot on some broken glass pieces.”

Hawke opened her arm in her direction, pointing at her and looking at Anders. “See what I’m taking about!”

–

The boys were still buzzing with excitement minutes after Hawke, her sister and their mabari had left.

“Whoa Anders, is she your girlfriend?”

“She’s so cool.”

“Can we come and see her again?”

Anders let out a long sigh and shook his head fondly.

Two new patients entered the clinic.

And he thought that he too was already missing her presence.  

[yeehawfolk]

Hi! I think yr totally right about Felix's teeth probably not being great and how he and the rest of the crew should have more scars! Do u have any other lil appearance HCs for him/the whole gang? (:

OK! SO! I have a Lot of HCs about the crew, appearance-wise, anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love their canon designs, but I feel like they didn't utilize "Halcyon is fucked" enough with your companions? If that makes sense. I'm going to break this up character by character, so it'll be an easier read!

Also, I'm gonna put a TW on this for slight self harm on this?? It's not emotionally motivated at all, it's like when you'd compete to see who can get the gnarliest eraser burn in middle school, but nevertheless, I want to warn y'all ahead of time, it's on Ellie's part.

Parvati:

-Honestly, her eyes are gorgeous. They're brown, but an amber kind of brown, and very bright.

-I personally HC that Parvati chews her nails when she's nervous, so they're always nubs and usually pretty dirty, bc Mechanic and all.

-Her hands have faint scars from nicks and burns from working on machinery. The skin on her hands doesn't scar easily, but she still has a few gnarly scars from particularly bad burns or cuts that she wasn't able to take proper care of.

-Constantly has bruises of unknown origin on her arms and legs. She bruises very easy, and always has, which is kind of precarious when you're a mechanic.

-This might already be canon and I just haven't noticed bc I'm using the Switch version, but I HC Parv has some freckles sprinkled around her face. Not a lot by any means, but I HC she gets frequent sun when she's working on certain parts of the town, and freckles are a bi-product of that.

-She has a couple small scars on her face; one just below her eye on her cheek, and another on her chin. I like to think she fell on her chin, and the other was from her first project that blew up in her face, literally.

-Her skin is just a bit ashy because she hasn't had access to a lot of good lotions over the years.

-Despite taking a shower every morning, she accumulates grease smudges and dirt from her plants on herself very easily. She cleans up for her and Junlei's dates, but for casual visits both don't really bother. Sometimes they make a game of smudging each other with grease while they work and by the time they're finished their faces look like they were going for war paint.

-I like to think Parvati and Junlei eventually wear rings with each other (like, years down the line) and when Parvati gets deep in thought, she rests it against her lips. Junlei does something similar by turning her ring on her finger.

-Parv has ok teeth, not like great, but she takes pretty good care of them, even if sometimes she has to forgo it for a day or few while out with the Captain.

-When she's in Edgewater, she's always skinny, and if you squinted you probably could pick out a rib or so. But after she moves in with The Captain, she gains weight, and finally has the little pooch of fat that you're supposed to have around the middle. Ellie helps her keep up with nutritional needs (what you can get in Halcyon, anyway) and gets very proud when she makes her goals.

Felix:

-This boy has horrible teeth. His sweet tooth + being an orphan in the Back Bays didn't leave much time for proper teeth cleaning. He probably never really had enough bits to get toothpaste with, either.

-Oh, boy. He has scars galore. Some are from scuffles (he has some on his back from when he was a kid and used to get in trouble for stealing) but a lot are also from getting burned by pipes, or jagged metal. A fair few are from him doing dumbass things in his teenage years ("I wonder what would happen if I heat up these rounds of light ammo with a flamethrower??") because you can't tell me this boy didn't do dumb things like every teenage boy did but with more disasterous results bc SciFi.

-His nose has been broken quite a few times, so it's crooked in a couple spots.

-Can frequently be found with bloody knuckles just because he forgets that punching someone with a mask over their face really isn't the best idea. This eventually culminates into him making the "Millstone Drop-Kick!" his go-to move.

-This isn't exactly appearance related, but I HC Felix has a fucked back from his life of hauling heavy boxes. It doesn't help that he drop kicks literally everything that moves tho.

-Probably has chronic pain in his hands from his hands getting crushed by boxes at some point or another. Several of his fingers are crooked from being broken and improperly set. His bones probably aren't the best bc of poor nutrition growing up, either, so they're a little easier to break.

-Just. Me thinking about Felix in his 40s, or even early 30s: Honey, you have a big storm coming.

-This is also a little random, but I like to think that it takes a long time for Felix to grow any kind of facial hair (he has chronic babyface) so he's super proud of his scruff.

-Max: That's peach fuzz. If that.

-Felix: Leave me alone you big hairy bastard, just bc you have to shave like every other day to keep a clean face doesn't mean all men do!!

-(He's just a bit sensitive about his facial hair)

-(He one day dreams of growing a glorious beard like Sanjar's, but it would take him like 50 years)

-(Shut up Max one day he'll have an amazing handlebar mustache and you won't be laughing then)

-I have no idea if piercings or tattoos are a Thing in Halcyon (probs not, honestly, but I can dream) but if they are, he tried to pierce his ears by himself once, they got infected, and he got really sad when he had to let them close. The marks are still there but the holes have closed by now.

-ELLIE PIERCES HIS EAR AND HELPS HIM KEEP IT CLEAN

-Felix is strong, but he's skinny and gangly as all hell and it's hard as fuck to get him to gain any weight, mostly because he still has his habit of eating only what he needs and stashing the rest. It takes him a while with the crew to get over that, and when he does, he gains a healthy amount of weight around his middle. Ellie teases him a bit, but is 1,000x happier that he's no longer damn near a walking skeleton.

-Listen. Ellie and Felix are bros I don't make the rules. She denies it but she would kill for Felix.

-Usually has slight dark circles under his eyes, because he has nightmares sometimes and can't sleep.

-His eyes are really, really pretty. Like. Super fucking pretty. He has long lashes and they sparkle when he smiles. His eyes are hazel like Max's, but more on the brown side, with streaks of green radiating out from the pupil.

-Speaking of smiles. He has the goofiest and sweetest grins around. A little self-conscious about his teeth, but honestly that doesn't stop him from laughing and smiling with everyone. He has a couple broken teeth, but honestly it just makes his grin a lil lopsided and cute.

-He gets the Worst bed-head. It stands almost straight up in every direction, but it's really easy to tame. Mostly because he just runs his hands through it and calls it a day.

-He found Max's hair gel once and went Ham. He used the whole can sticking his hair up into a mohawk, and proceeded to parade around for Ellie and Parvati. Then bolt to his room and lock the door when Max shouted his name from the bathroom. Max's hair was out of whack for like. A week. He kept blowing it out of his face and Felix and Ellie would giggle like madmen when he did.

-*BANGS FISTS ON TABLE* FELIX IS BABY! FELIX IS BABY!!

Max:

-My MANS

-Listen, I am extremely gay for Max. This needs to be known before I continue, because I have a metric fuckton of Max HCs.

-So, first off, Max takes VERY good care of his appearance. Like. Insanely good. His hair is always perfectly held back by a moderate amount of gel, his nails perfectly trimmed and cleaned. He keeps a clean-shaven face.

-But don't let that fool you, Max can and will get down and dirty when need be, he just doesn't care to stay like that.

-Quite a few scars from his prison and Tossball years. But because of the clothes he wears you wouldn't be able to see them easily. Mostly on his back/sides, though he has a couple on his torso and legs.

-The Captain calls him Bigfoot because his grows hair really fast and his arms and chest have some pretty thick hair. Max is very confused, because he personally doesn't think his feet are that big.

-Not an appearance HC per se, but he smells like soap, aftershave, and books.

-When he doesn't gel his hair, it falls in his face constantly, and it annoys the fuck out of him.

-Fuckin ripped bro. Just. What the fuck. Why is a priest this fuckin shredded. Why make my gay little heart ache more than it already does, Obsidian??

-Despite his arm muscles being like. Huge, he still has a healthy layer of fat over his middle, mostly because being an OSI Priest, he got a little bit better nutrition VS. literally all of Halcyon.

-When his knee gets Bad (like hiking through Monarch with the Captain) he has a slight limp? Barely noticeable, but you can tell he's not putting weight on it. I HC its an old Tossball injury (that might be canon, I haven't played in forever).

-Its hard to tell in the different lights of the game whether his hair is Black or Silver, and I like to think he's greying, but not fully grey yet. He can have a little hair color, still. As a treat.

-Fuckin no lashes to speak of. None at all. Baldy eyes. Its the only part of him that doesn't have really thick hair and ngl he is very salty about it. Tho his actual eyes are very pretty; they're hazel with a lot of green. He has a darker ring on the outside and flecks of brown in them.

-Has very good teeth, whiter than most of Halcyon's because of the OSI providing for him.

-Broke his nose once during Tossball, though he was able to get it set alright. Slight crook in the bridge of his nose.

-He has a lot of those moles from his face scattered around. Particularly his shoulders and back.

-Also have you seen his fuckin canon thighs??? Bro. They could crush a watermelon. Once again, I must say, what the fuck, why is this priest so fuckin shredded.

-Actually takes his physical health very seriously, so I like to think he's in great shape for his age. Seeing him in some of the canon outfits though makes me more inclined to think that's canon.

-Sorry, I have thought about this A Lot, and the gay jumps out of me sometimes.

-A fair amount of scars on his arms. Not as many as Nyoka, but a little bit more than Parvati.

-Has calloused hands, but they've softened over his years as a priest.

Ellie:

-Now I feel like Ellie wouldn't have many scars that she didn't let scar up on purpose to give her an edge. They're essentially superficial; they look cool but didn't do any real damage.

-Also, her skin is very pale, so she doesn't scar easily anyway.

-Though she does have some, and they're more recent. A couple of gashes on her arms, and a bullet wound in her side. She's proud of them.

-The dark circles under her eyes are because she likes to stay up late at night. Sometimes she contemplates her life, but she doesn't like it, and usually doesn't bother too much.

-Her lashes are very thick and full, and they compliment her eyes very well. Her eyes aren't exactly ice blue, they're a bit darker, and have real pretty lighter streaks in them.

-Yes, her lips are naturally that color. Good for picking up women, bad for looking intimidating to marauders.

-Really soft skin, she's always had access to good lotion. After she leaves Byzantium, she purposely looks a bit more grimy than she did then, which is easy to do because of her skin tone.

-Has a few moles and freckles, but not many, mostly on her shoulders and back. She was inside a lot prior to her leaving Byzantium.

-Her hair doesn't really sit down when she sleeps, but it does lose some poofiness, so she has to meticulously push it up in the mornings.

-Not quite an appearance HC, but I feel like when she gets comfortable with ADA, she gives her compliments. Stuff like "Your screen is very bright today, ADA!" ADA does the same thing. "And your hair is looking very bright as always, Dr. Fenhill."

-Muscular, but lean, and puts on weight a little easier than others, so she wouldn't look like she could kick your ass without her pirate get-up, but she could 100%, no holds barred kick your ass.

-Very good teeth. Despite wanting to look like a gnarly pirate she takes dental care very seriously. Tho she thinks about getting punched in the mouth occasionally so she could like break off a piece of her tooth. Not the whole thing, just enough to make her look tough.

-Idc if piercings and tattoos aren't a Thing in Halcyon, Ellie has pierced ears. Three in each ear, and I like to think an eyebrow and maybe nose ring. She doesn't wear them when she's in Dangerous Situations because she firsthand had to fix ears that had their earrings ripped out during rich catfights that she does NOT want that to happen to her.

-She also has tattoos covering most of her back, and some of her upper arms. She got them "illegally" (meaning it's illegal to The Board, but the Groundbreaker doesn't really give a shit) on The Groundbreaker and she's proud as fuck of them.

-I have Feelings about the missed opportunities for illegal tattoo/piercing parlors. Like I know there's not a lot of self-expression to be had and no Art aside from fonts, but c'mon. Humans have drawn on their skin since the beginning all around the world and we WOULD find ways to do it again, even if it's needle-poke tattoos.

-Anyway, back to Ellie.

-You ever hear of a "lighter tattoo"? Basically, you heat up a lighter and then stamp the hot metal into your skin and it makes a mark in the shape of the lighter head. If you get it hot enough and hold it long enough it can scar. They have a similar thing in Halcyon with Plasma Cutters. Instead of Stab, you heat it up, turn it off, and press the blade to your skin and it pretty much scars within a couple seconds.

-Ellie 100% did a few of those when she was in Byzantium as like the "hahaha edgy" thing that teenagers do.

-Like I know technically kids aren't around but... bruh... you can't tell me that teenagers in a SciFi setting wouldn't do dumb ass shit like that.

-Ellie is honestly the baddest bitch and I love her, ok, she just reminds me so much of of those high school delinquent tropes in 90s movies

Nyoka:

-SO I HAVE SOME FEELINGS ABOUT NYOKA'S CANON DESIGN... IN THAT SHE'S ESSENTIALLY A MONSTER HUNTER BUT SHE HAS NO SCARS!

-Listen, ok, she would 100% have a lot of scars from her life on Monarch. I share some HCs with @nyokaacore in that she has three scars over one of her eyes, and a few others around her face, like on her lips.

-The bulk of her scars are on her arms and body, though, as she usually is able to get the Canid or Rapt off before they get to her face.

-I like to think the scars on her eye are from Freida, the first Rapt she ever killed that's taxidermied on her wall.

-But she has a lot of scars from Raptidon claws and Canid mouthplates, sprinkled with some Manti burns and burns from Rapt spit.

-She also has her fair share of bullet scars on her, and definitely has some patches of skin discoloration from incidents regarding the sulphur pools. Chemical burns are a bitch.

-She's tall, and not exactly curvy? But broad. Big shoulders, wide hips, sturdy legs. Looks like she could kill you, could actually kill you alignment.

-The sand and sulphur in the air plays Hell on her skin, so she's got some old acne scars and places that scarred up into moles on her face. Has an issue with dry skin.

-Her skin is also pretty oily, and she washes it when she can, but water is usually better spent being drunk than washed with. However, she does carry a spare bottle of non-drinkable water to wash Rapt acid off in emergencies, so sometimes she'll pull from that to wash her face with.

-Big hands, calloused, pretty scarred up from her time on Monarch.

-I also like to think that she can tell you stories about most of the scars she has, lmao.

-Her nose, like Felix's, has been broken quite a few times and is pretty crooked.

-Most often, you see Nyoka with a slight sunburn on her face. It's hard to see, but her cheeks are usually warm to the touch.

-Her teeth aren't the best, but she does take as much care of them as she can out on Monarch. Still pretty yellow with some cavities, but not as bad at Felix's.

-Honestly the dark circles around her eyes are usually because she doesn't sleep a lot. She has dreams about CHARON, and that's not her favorite thing to do.

-At a pretty healthy weight for Halcyon, and ofc, has muscles as big as your head.

-Surprisingly soft hands, though.

[aineirisha]

What I confessed while daydreaming

It all started that night, that dreadful night. It all started with their threatening voices of fake silk. It all started with their eyes on you ready to devour you, ready to take away what was rightfully yours. 

It all started with ignorance. 

Myths and legends and things that are not human.

It all started...

Or perhaps it started centuries ago, you couldn't tell. You never really knew...

Things that are not human...

Stories that don't belong to humans...

And yet... 

You were...

Human...

...frightened by their energy, by the way they looked at you.

You couldn't trust them. No matter how they tried to convince you, you wouldn't trust them, your instincts told you not to. All your senses screaming at you, 

"RUN!!" 

But you couldn't move. You didn't understand. 

Why were you so scared? Why weren't your legs responding? Why couldn't you stop quivering? Why were those men...?

"Do not worry Hime-sama, we will not hurt you"

"We are just here to please you"

"Let us please you, Hime-sama"

"We are just going to play a little game, shall we Hime-sama?"

But they did not carry toys with them. No dolls or balls, no wooden horses.

What were four men trying to play with a seven year old girl?

Why are these men trying to play...

... With me?

You raised your eyes to meet theirs and fear took over. Thirst for power dripping from their gaze, running through their veins. 

You shed no tear, you voiced no scream, you made no expression. 

The moment their hands were over you, your chakra unfolded, piercing their bodies, breaking their bones, and exploding their organs. 

A lot of blood was shed that night, not one single drop was yours.

It all started that night with that dreadful feeling. 

The power of destruction. The drunkness that comes with it. 

 It started with you, with all that you never really knew... 

Urging you to flee...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Working at that restaurant had turned out to be an excellent choice. It gave you enough money to sustain yourself and the opportunity to meet the daily life in the village. Every day you got the chance to practice all that you couldn't practice on the training grounds. Your power was about sensations and emotions. To recognize those emotions you had to be around living things, preferably humans, and what better place than a restaurant. 

Dozens of different chakras came into the restaurant daily. Each time they became easier to identify and distinguish. Bit by bit colors started to appear and, if you concentrated enough, you could even perceive each one of the 7 pools of chakra. 

It was very challenging at first. Allowing yourself to be affected by other people's energy was a burden really heavy to handle. Lots of emotions were mixed in that closed space. And it could hurt, to feel other people's feelings as if they were your own. It was overwhelming.

Some time ago you had found your peace extending your own chakra around you far enough so that other's energy couldn't reach your core, you strengthened your vibrations to a point they were stronger than everybody else's, preventing your energy and emotions from being polluted with those around you and prevailing over them. And now that you needed to move forward, that you wanted to learn about control, you had to make your peace aside to prioritize knowledge. Ironic. 

It was an exhausting exercise, way more exhausting than shinobi training. But it was rewarding, what for so many years you did by pure intuition, now you were doing consciously. 

Besides, it wasn't all dark and gloomy. Your power gave you the possibility to have things your way if the situation turned out to be more than you could handle. That usually meant, as a result, a feeling of tranquility, a feeling of certainty that it was all gonna be ok.  The power was way easier to bear when people's energy was bright, so it was kind of for selfish reasons but the results were convenient for everyone. If needed, making other people feel at ease was the easiest thing to do; it didn't hurt, it protected your core from other's pain or low-frequency emotions -usually negative- and it always ended up working in your favor.  All you had to do was extend your chakra and sync your vibrations to the ones of the human in question. Truth was, you didn't have to do it on purpose anymore, your vibrations were so strong everyone else just synced to them almost by accident. 

Lots of clients came to the place when you started working there for that exact reason. Unconsciously, everyone kept coming back to feel that lightness, that warmth.  

Nevertheless and despite everything, manipulating emotions wasn't your favorite thing to do even if it was for a good purpose. Life felt more real when you let others be honest. 

That and... maybe if you didn't fear your wounds that much you could... 

Maybe if you could let go of the past... 

Maybe if you weren't so scared of your own darkness...  

When it came to your power you were always careful. Perceiving chakra and observing its behavior was a safe zone and you found the way to work from there. It was like experimenting. Sometimes you'd try with certain words or phrases, other times facial expressions, and you awaited the reaction. It was particularly interesting when you found an energy that changed with the presence of another person, whether it was a loved one or a hated one. 

********

The afternoon was perfect. The sun was up, shining bright and warm, only cooled by the blowing of the wind. The sky was blue and eventual clouds floated miles above your head. The day went by at work without much to worry about. Megumi-san was kind of a weirdo and you two got along perfectly. She was teasing and playful. You were always joking and laughing. 

You took a deep breath and looked up to the sky. Some birds were flying by. You smiled. The sound of your steps on the ground made everything feel real. 

The buildings were all painted with messy patterns that seemed to have no order or purpose. Maybe there was going to be some kind of festival or something... 

No, the paintings were too messy to look good. That couldn't be for decoration. 

What happened here?

And then you bumped into him. Green goggles on his forehead, blonde spikey hair, evil giggles, with a bucket and a painting brush on his hand. 

 You had felt his energy a block ago. 

Was he trying to get revenge?

Was he just playing games? 

It felt like both. A dark type of amusement. A mischief. He knew he was doing wrong and he was enjoying it. 

As you approached him, the feeling of mischievousness increased. 

Intrigued by the kid, you walked towards him and stood by his side. With your hands in your pockets, you contemplated his painting. 

"Is that a hat?" you asked, tilting your head trying to get the shape of the drawing.

He turned around to see you with a defensive attitude, used to people scolding him for everything. 

"Maa maa, nee-chan, it's not a hat, it's a snake, see? It has an eye" he said while pointing at the spot on the lower edge.

"But why does it have a...That?" you were certain that you had never in your life seen a snake with a bulge, that looked more like a camel with no legs. 

Or a hat...

"It's fat cause it ate the entire bowl of ramen, dattebayo," the blonde said while nodding, a huge smile on his face. He seemed really proud of his creation. 

You laughed noisily, completely amused by the kid's imagination. 

A neighbor came out of the building, shouting.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, LITTLE BEAST?!!" He threatened as he started walking towards the child furiously.

The blonde stared back at him for an instant and panicked. 

"RUUUN!!" He shouted at you as he sprinted to get as far away from there as possible. 

You did as told not giving it a thought. That man seemed terrifying. 

When you two finally stopped, you were safe, many streets away. You paused to catch your breath. He was already searching for his next victim with a malicious grin. 

He was punishing the people, you realized, and by doing so he was getting himself into so much trouble. 

Punishing them for what?

"Hey kid" you called him. "I know of a fence that is in desperate need of some painting" your house wasn't that far away. 

He followed you ready to attack, wielding the brush like a kunai. 

Your fence was wide enough to keep him entertained for a while. 

You took the lead, dipped your fingers in the bucket, and started doodling on the wood. His mesmerized gaze fell on you like a stray of sunshine. Finally, he had a partner in crime, and it wasn't Choji or Shikamaru, it was an adult. 

He didn't feel like the enemy anymore. 

You two started playing. Your clothes were probably going into the trash after this, the paint wouldn't wash off. 

"Too bad we don't have other colors," you sighed, enjoying your time with the kid. He had a nice laugh and three marks on each of his cheeks that made him look adorable. It had been a long time since you last played with a child.

"Maa, maa; when I become the Hokage I will have all the colors I want and people won't tell me what to do" he smiled satisfied. "You can come paint with me"

The Hokage?

"Why are you painting fences?... and walls?" 

That's not exactly something the Hokage would do... or maybe but not like this.

"I want everyone to acknowledge me," he said decisively.  

His energy amazed you. It felt like he was... broken?... but more than broken, cracked. It was like cracked glass refusing to shatter. His determination and wishes holding him together, helping him stand (like a tape or a band-aid). There was no nostalgia in him. Only the hopes that things would be better in the future. No, it wasn't hope... it was... 

Certainty.

You smiled to yourself with a lump in your throat and resisted the urge to hug him.  

What could have happened for a child to be so fractured?

And yet he seemed so brave, so strong. 

For a moment you forgot about his malicious shenanigans. His vibrations were so strong they were competing with yours. 

"You missed painting here" you teased him, passing your dirty fingers over his recent doodle. 

He pouted. "You need a little color too, nee-chan" his brush painted over your lines. "Now it's a clown" he giggled.

You burst in laughter. He looked at you surprised by your reaction. You hadn't scolded him or criticized him once. You were definitely a weirdo. 

He started laughing too. 

The game began, whoever covered most of the fence would win. He was already winning.

"That's not fair!! You have a brush!!" you complained. He stuck out his tongue to mock you in response.

"Naruto!!" you heard Iruka shout at the kid. "What do you think you are doing??!!!" he quickly grabbed the child's hand. 

You signaled Iruka to stop, your hands over your neck telling him to cut it. Naruto didn't know that was your house. As far as he was concerned you were manging a mischief together. 

Iruka looked at you startled and let go of Naruto's hand. 

"Iruka-sensei hi" you waved at him. It was time for your lesson. 

"You know each other?" Naruto was suddenly very confused. He stared at you and Iruka back and forth.

"Yeah, he's my sensei" you smiled. 

"You are a student?!" he was shocked.

You nodded. 

"But you look old"

"Hey! I'm not that old!" you put your fists on your waist, pouting.

Naruto thought about it. Maybe you weren't that much of an adult, not of the same kind as Iruka at least, or as the villagers. Old people don't do funny things and they don't paint fences. 

"Naruto go clean yourself" Iruka took the bucket and the brush away from him and sent him home. 

"YN-san I apologize for Naruto, he's just... I'll make it up for you" he said.

"Don't worry" You giggled "I bumped into him while he was using the village as his canvas and a man came out to beat the crap out of him so I thought it would be better if I just..."

 Teamed up with him. Take him out of there. Be friendly. 

"I'm sorry," he repeated while looking at your dirty fence.

"Don't be. It has potential. This right here looks like an eagle, and if I fix these, they could be mountains, and these right here..."

He just looked at you and smiled. You were kind and tender. Not ruled by people’s ideas of how things had to be done. You always... behaved unexpectedly. It was as if you could see beyond things. Whether it was a landscape behind the doodles or a friend behind a missbehaved boy, you never settled with appearences. 

 There is always more than meets the eye. There are always things we don’t really know.

But you wanted to know...

"Is he the student you always talk about?" Of course Iruka had told you about him. Sometimes you didn't even train and all you did was talk about your lives. Whenever any of you had a bad day you would always put support first. It was pretty comforting to have someone to talk to. Iruka's energy was one of the warmest, sweetest, most compassionate you've ever met, you admired that. It made you feel safe. 

"Yeah" he scratched his head.

"Oh, I get it now" you laughed as you got into your house. 

************

CH 4  CH 6

Masterlist

A/N: Ok, guys so first of all sorry for my grammar, spelling, syntaxis, and everything that has to do with writing structure. English is not my first language and boi this is harder than I thought (I'm better at writing in Spanish I promise)

Second: reader has been through a lot and I mean A LOT. She's been through so much I have enough material to write an entire ff about it like hell maybe even two who knows, so I'm struggling with how to tell you all that information. Maybe you won't get to know everything, just the important things. Bottom line she's had a rough time. (I'm actually a little bit scared to write that part cause it's pretty angsty, like right now she chooses peace and nice feelings but back then she didn't and turned her life into hell but I don't feel my writing is good enough to do justice to all that so... hope I get better) that doesn't mean there won't be angst i mean, there's no way to avoid angst when it comes to kakashi, so wish me luck.

And third: I suck at drawing so I can't show you what her power, energy and vibrations and all look like. I hope I was clear enough to give you a general idea (I'll probably get deeper into it later) but if I wasn't please let me know and I'll explain it better, it would be soooo helpful to know what you understood. 

And last but not least: THANKS FOR READING. let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :3 <3

@femboyneji @spnningtop @strawberrycakesstuff @cosplayartponypoli @ren-hatake

[theliterateape]

I Like to Watch | Zack Snyder’s Justice League

by Don Hall

Mythology is fun.

As a kid I loved reading Edith Hamilton’s book on the Greek gods and the myths. Hercules, Perseus, Apollo, and Hera—this fell completely in line with my love for superhero comics. The strangely petty human traits of envy, greed, and lust combined with the power to level cities make for some great storytelling.

Zeus was basically Harvey Weinstein in the retroactive revision we’re mired in today. If Harvey could’ve changed into a golden animal and boned unsuspecting ladies looking for careers in Hollywood I’m pretty certain he would. The gods and demi-gods of the Greeks dealt with daddy issues, mommy issues, bad relationships, and fighting. Lots of fighting. Sometimes for the good of humanity but more often for the glory of winning.

Zach Snyder is in the business of tackling myths and reframing them with a style all his own. His career has become its own myth.

From Dawn of the Dead (not so much a reboot of Romero's zombie mythology but a philosophical reimagining of the genre that arguably jumpstarted The Hollywood fascination with it), 300 (a borderline homoerotic take on the myth of the Greek underdog), and Watchmen (a ridiculously ambitious attempt to put one of the most iconic takedowns on the potential fascism of the superhero legend machine ever written) to his nearly single-handed hack at answering the Marvel juggernaut with Man of Steel and Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, Snyder is in the artistic business of subverting and re-envisioning the mythologies we embrace without even seeing them as such.

Snyder's style is operatic. It is on a grand scale even in the most mundane moments. The guy loves slow motion like Scorcese loves mobsters and Italian food. When you're tackling big themes with larger than life stories, the epic nature of his vision makes sense and has alienated a good number of audience members. With such excess, there are bound to be missteps but I'd argue that his massive take on these characters he molds from common understanding and popular nomenclature elevates them to god-like stature.

Fans of Moore's Watchmen have much to complain about Snyder's adaptation. The titular graphic novel is almost impossible to put in any other form than the one Moore intended and yet, Snyder jumped in feet-first and created a living, breathing representation of most, if not all, of the source material's intent. Whether you dig on it or not, it's hard to avoid acknowledging that the first five minutes of Watchmen is a mini-masterpiece of style, storytelling, and epic tragedy wrapped up in a music video.

Despite a host of critical backlash for his one fully original take, Sucker Punch is an amazing thing to see. More a commentary on video game enthusiasm with its lust for hot animated chicks and over-the-top violence that a celebration of cleavage and guns, the film is crazily entertaining. For those who hated the ending, he told you in the title what his plan was all along.

The first movie I saw in the theaters that tried to take a superhero mythology and treat it seriously (for the most part) was Richard Donner's Superman: The Movie. Never as big a fan of the DC characters as I have been of Marvel, it was still extraordinary to see a character I had only really known in pages to be so fully realized. Then came Burton's Batman movies. The superhero film was still an anomaly but steam was gaining. Things changed with Bryan Singer's X-Men in 2000, then Raimi's Spiderman, and those of us who grew up with our pulpy versions of Athena, Hermes, and Hades were rewarded with Nolan's Batman Begins. A far cry from the tongue-in-cheek camp of the 1966 TV Batman, Christian Bale's Bruce Wayne was a serious character and his tale over three films is a tragic commentary filled with the kind of death and betrayal and triumph befitting the grand narrative he deserved.

I loved Singer's Superman Returns in 2006 because it was such a love letter to the 1978 film (down to the opening credits) but by then, the MCU was taking over the world.

Snyder's first of what turns out to be an epic storyline involving perhaps seven or eight movies was Man of Steel. It was fun and, while I had my issues with the broodiness of Kal El, the odd take on Jonathan Kent, and a redheaded Lois Lane, I had no issue with Superman snapping Zod's neck. Darker and more tragic than any other version of the Kryptonian, it was still super entertaining.

Then came Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. By 2016, Marvel had codified their formula of serious characters wrestling with serious issues of power and responsibility peppered with lots of good humor and bright colors. Snyder's desaturated pallete and angst-filled demi-gods was not the obvious road to financial competition.

I'll confess, I hated it. BvS felt half-rendered. Lex Luthor was kind of superficial and played as a kind of Joker. The whole Bruce Wayne wants to kill Superman thing felt undeveloped and the "Martha" moment was just stupid.

When Joss Whedon's version of Snyder's Justice League came out in 2017, I was primed for it to be a turd and I wasn't surprised. So much of it didn't work on any level. I dismissed it as DC trying and failing miserably and was comforted by the coming of Thanos.

Following Thanos and the time heist was COVID. Suddenly, we were internationally sidelined and the movie theater industry caved in. Streaming services started popping up like knock-off smartphones and Hollywood was reeling, doing anything and everything to find a way back. Since Whedon's disastrous helming of Snyder's third act, fans online had been demanding to #ReleasetheSnyderCut but no one was ever really taking them seriously until all movie production was shut down for a year.

The stage was set to remedy a mistake (or at least make some bucks on a do-over of a huge box office failure). Snyder had left the production in part because of the suicide of his daughter and in part due to the constant artistic fights over executives looking for the quippy fun of the MCU but he still had all the original footage. Add to that the broiling accusations that Joss Whedon was "abusive" during the reshoots, the path seemed destined. For an additional $70 million and complete control, Snyder delivered a four hour mega-movie streamed on HBOMax.

Of course, I was going to watch the thing as soon as I could.

The Whedon version opens with an homage to the now dead Superman (including the much maligned digitally erased mustache on Henry Cavill). The SynderCut opens with the death of Superman and the agony of his death scream as it travels across the planet. It's a simple change but exemplifies the very different visions of how this thing is gonna play out.

Snyder doesn't want us to be OK with the power of these beings unleashed. He wants us to feel the damage and pain of death. He wants the results of violence to be as real as he can. When Marvel's Steve Rogers kicks a thug across the room and the thug hits a wall, he crumples and it is effectively over. When Batman does the same thing, we see the broken bones (often in slow motion) and the blood smear on the wall as the thug slides to the ground.

The longer SnyderCut is bloated in some places (like the extended Celtic choir singing Aquaman off to sea or the extended narrations by Wonder Woman which sound slightly like someone trying to explain the plot to Siri). On the other hand, the scene with Barry Allen saving Iris West is both endearing and extraordinary, giving insight to the power of the Flash as well as some essential character-building in contrast to Whedon's comic foil version.

One thing I noticed in this variant is that Zach wants the audience to experience the sequence of every moment as the characters do. An example comes when Diana Prince goes to the crypt to see the very plot she belabors over later. The sequence is simple. She gets a torch and goes down. Most directors which jump cut to the torch. Snyder gives us five beats as she grabs the timber, wraps cloth around the end, soaks it with kerosene, pulls out a box of matches, and lights the torch. Then she goes down the dark passageway.

The gigantic, lush diversity of Snyder’s vision of the DC superhero universe—from the long shots of the sea life in the world of Atlantis to the ancient structures and equipment of Themyscira— is almost painterly. Snyder isn't taking our time; he's taking his time. We are rewarded our patience with a far better backstory for the villain, a beautifully rendered historic battle thwarting Darkseid's initial invasion (including a fucking Green Lantern), and answers to a score of questions set up in both previous films.

Whedon's Bruce Wayne was more Ben Affleck; Snyder's is full-on Frank Miller Batman, the smartest, most brutal fucker in the room. Cyborg, instead of Whedon's sidelined non-character, is now a Frankenstein's monster, grappling with the trade-off between acceptance and enormous power. Wonder Woman is now more in line with the Patty Jenkins version and instead of being told about the loss of Superman, we are forced to live with the anguish of both his mother and Lois Lane in quiet moments of incredible grief.

To be fair to Whedon (something few are willing to do as he is now being castigated not for racism or sexism but for being mean to people) having him come in to throw in some levity and Marvel-esque color to Snyder's Wagnerian pomposity is like hiring Huey Lewis to lighten up Pink Floyd's The Wall or getting Douglas Adams to rewrite Cormac McCarthy's The Road.

I loved Snyder's self-indulgent, mythologic DC universe.

So much so that I then re-watched Man of Steel and then watched the director's version of BvS (which Snyder added approximately 32 minutes). The second film is far better at three hours and Eisenberg's Lex Luthor now makes sense. Then I watched Zach Snyder's Justice League a second time.

After nineteen hours of Snyder's re-imagining of these DC heroes and villains, I saw details that, upon first viewing, are ignored or dismissed, but after seeing them in order and complete, are suddenly consistent and relevant. Like Nolan or Fincher, Snyder defies anyone to eliminate even one piece of his narrative no matter how long. With all the pieces, this is an epic story and the pieces left at the extended epilogue play into a grander narrative we will never see.

Or maybe we will. Who knows these days?

[burytherosemarysprigs]

Graphite Stains and Cigarettes | Billy Hargrove

A/N; Okkkk, so this is my first fic that I’ve written so please bear with me! 😊 ALSO I know that Billy was an asshole in season 2 and he died in season 3… but he could’ve had a redemption arc like Steve’s!!!! Anyways,,, Hope you like it!!

/ Masterlist /

Pairing; Cop!Billy Hargrove x Hopper!Reader

Word Count; 4.9K (I know)  

Summary; Billy Hargrove is trying to clean up his act, so when he has the chance to become a cop in Hawkins - he takes it. But when the Cheif’s daughter is a funny, talented, smart - and beautiful girl - He thinks something’s are meant to be.

…

“Goddamn it Flo. How many times have I told you that – “ Hopper begins, agitated and ready to crush his coffee cup in his hand.

“ – Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.” Flo finishes of for him, uninterested in Hopper’s growing distress. The 62-year-old secretary is more than used to the Chief’s morning antiquities. But today, when the criminal sketch artist calls in sick, and a dozen people are waiting anxiously to file in a report. She really can’t find the energy to put up with it.

“Look Hopper, I don’t care, I got a dozen people waiting in the back askin’ to file a report in and what do I tell them? ‘Hey sorry, the Chief is being a bit of a dickhead, that’s all!” Flo yells at him, leaving a stunned Hopper, who after a minute of intense glaring from Flo; sighs and responds tiredly.

“Fine. I’ll just… call in my daughter. Will that make you happy Flo? Great. Now, where is he? HARGROVE! HARGROVE? WHERE ARE YOU?” Hopper’s booming voice echoes against the walls, resulting in officers and workers alike looking around curiously for the whereabouts of the said boy.

Before Hopper starts to yell again, Billy Hargrove appears in-front of the two figures standing outside Hopper’s office, clad in a leather jacket and surprisingly a button-down, actually properly buttoned up.

“You called, chief?” He asks, with a relaxed tone; which only further annoys the Chief of Hawkins.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did. I need you to go pick up my daughter – and Flo can you call her?” Both nod their heads and head off. But before Billy can leave, Hopper grabs his shoulder and stops him from moving.

“Listen here Hargrove, If I find out that you laid a single touch on my daughter, I’ll make sure that you never set foot in this station again, let alone become an actual cop,” he forcefully whispers to the young man and releases him. “You got that?”

Billy responds with a lazy nod of his head; and saunters off towards his Camaro.

…

The young girl in question; Hoppers daughter, sat on the porch bench, with her legs tucked underneath her and a sketchpad and a few pens resting on her lap. She glances up as she hears the roaring of an engine and a glimpse of a car that she had recently seen a lot of.

She quietly watches him step out of the blue Camaro and head towards the house – a new one they bought after the whole fiasco with the Demogorgon’s and Mind Flayer, which left their house a tattered mess – She frowns as she sees him looking at her with his sunglasses perched on his nose.

“Well, hello there princess, ready to go, are you?” He asks calmly, with a small smirk on his face, drawling the words out carefully, to which he is met by an amused expression and the roll of the eyes.

“Yeah, sure asshole, let’s go,” she mutters, loud enough so he can her and gathers her sketch pad and pens in one hand pulling them against her chest and extends her other hand towards him, which he gladly tugs, pulling her up, and resulting in her lightly smacking into his chest – slightly throwing him off balance.

But he doesn’t lose grip on both of them instead keeps the hold on her hand tight, and they both stare at each other – as of daring the other one to do something. It seems to last for ages, as she gazes into his blue eyes, etching every small detail of blue into her mind, until he clears his throat – prompting both of them to let go of their hold on each other and the blossoming of an awkward silence.

They don’t say anything to each other as they ride in silence to the police station as Bowie plays in the background to each other’s thoughts. It had been like this all summer, ever since Billy had started training with Hopper to become a cop – they would run into each other, whether at the station or at her house or other places and they had developed certain feelings for each other and a growing tension between them as neither one of them did anything about it. And like now, the tension hung between them – thickly, as both of them tried to dodge its heavy presence.

Billy eventually breaks the silence by clearing his throat and trying to make small talk.

“So… You’re pretty dolled up today, what’s up with that?” He asks uncertainly, to which she replies back hesitantly,

“We’ll I was going out today,” she says, and Billy nods as if telling her to go on. “Yeah, um, Steve showed up at work yesterday and asked if I wanted hang out today and you know I was like sure, cause El’s been hangin’ out with Mike A LOT lately – pretty sure they only suck each other’s faces all day long and I had the day of so I was like screw it, I’ll come!” She spoke, rambling on and Billy’s hands unconsciously tightened around the steering wheel, how could she neglect him for a goddamn dork? Is what kept replaying in his mind as she continued to talk, he felt a sinking feeling in his chest, and it was –

“- and Robin was like – OH MY GOD – BIILLY! She yells, snapping him into focus as he realizes they’re about to crash into a deer and he quickly stomps his foot on the pedal, bringing his precious Camaro to a screeching halt. Both of them are heaving slightly and hearts racing as they sit there in the middle of the woods.

“Billy. What the hell were you doing, asshole?” She bursts out, turning slightly to look at him incredulously, he looks at her – shock still evident on his face and he can’t bring himself to respond because he doesn’t understand what happened to him either.

“God, you could’ve killed both of us and that damn deer, dickhead, I don’t – Billy – I – I – what’s going on?” She looks at him and her expression morphs into one of concern and she extends a hand towards his cheek, holding it delicately with her hands – and he almost gives in.

Almost.

Instead he casts an icy look towards her, while pushing her hand away from him and responding with a cold, empty response.

“Nothing.”

He starts the car, and continues to drive towards the station, leaving both of them in the silence, thinking the same thing.

‘What the heck just happened?’

…

“(Y/n)! Hargrove!” Hopper bursts out, as both of them enter the station, both of them look at him as he leaves the people, he was having a heated discussion with. “FLO, She’s here!” He yells the other way while making his way towards them.

“Okay, so did you bring the, uh, stuff – oh okay, good – well, you can set up there and Flo’ll bring people in one-by-one, okay? Good. Great. Okay Hargrove wait up for me in my office will you, I’ll be there in a second.”

Billy nods in response and casts a final glance at the girl who he’s been secretly watching a lot in the past 10 minutes. She looks at him, and as they lock eyes for a fraction of a second, they both turn away and regret doing so. He hesitates – and then eventually deciding to leave, turns around and walks away leaving both daughter and father to look at him quizzically – for of course entirely different reasons.

“What’s up with him?” Hopper asks with a roll of his eyes, and she responds with a subsequent roll of her eyes.

“I wish I knew, but alas Billy Hargrove is an utter and complete mystery.” She sighs, watching his retreating figure disappear in the hallway.

“By the way thank you for doing this kiddo, you don’t know how much you helped get Flo of my back,” He says the last part in a whisper, afraid of the wrath of the old secretary.

“Dad, it’s no problem, really!” She yells, as he casts her a questioning look, he ends up laughing as she lightly smacks him in the chest.

“OK, ok, just tell me one thing, Hargrove didn’t do anything funny, did he?” He asks seriously, and her mind wanders to his demeaner back in the car, before scoffing incredulously.

“Seriously dad, let him try to do anything and I’d like to see him come out of it without any broken bones!” She exclaims, motioning her hands wildly, leaving her dad with a proud expression on his face.

…

Tap

Tap. Tap

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

TAP. TAP. TAP.

(Y/n) tosses around in her bed, the growing taps on her windowsill ruining her much needed rest, as she groggily gets up and throws on the oversized blue sweater – that lay messily over the desk chair – over her and walks towards the windowsill. And as she approaches the window, she can sleepily make an outline of a … perm?

“Billy, what the he – “ She’s whisper-yelling as she opens the windowsill, only to be cut short by the sight of Billy covered in fresh cuts and bruises and a gust of strong wind.

He looks at her quietly, as she processes the sight in front of her and quickly ushers him inside – without making a sound.

“Billy, what happened – it’s – it’s 1am, what – “ She rambles on, scanning the room for a first aid kit, which she kept with her when El would have nosebleeds or Hopper would show up late and heavily beat-up.

He remains motionless, only watching her frantic motions to retrieve the proper tools to clean him up. She disappears into the bathroom and appears with a small red kit. She pushes him down on her bed, forcing him to sit on the edge so she can clean his cuts. She motions for him to take off his denim jacket – which he shrugs and lets fall to the ground.

“Umm, this is gonna sting a little, okay?” She tells him softly, applying water to a cloth and gently pressing it down on the cuts and bruises, while reaching out to grab his had gently as he lets out a hiss of pain. She gently squeezes his hand and he holds on to it loosely.

“Billy, what happened?” She whispers, loud enough just so he can hear her.

“Nothin’, just was doin’ some rounds per Hopper’s request, and I see these dipshits and I know they’re up to some shit and I go up to ‘em and tell them to get lost and they decide to beat me up.” She looks at him horrified, but nonetheless continues to thoroughly clean the wound, before turning away and doing so pulls her hand away from his – leaving him with a loss of touch and warmth from it.

She returns back with another cloth and steps closer to his body, before gently asking him “Hands?” And he lifts them up, and she struggles as not to cringe at the state of his bloody knuckles. She takes one hand in hers and starts to clean the cuts and wipe away the blood.

When both hands are done, she returns with dressings that she wraps his hands in, after applying an ointment on to them.

“Because I can’t wrap most of your cuts on your face, I’ll just have to put some bandages on the big cuts on your forehead and you can just keep an ice pack on the bruises that I can’t really cover up, okay? Oh and also please don’t touch you face for a while, it’ll infect it even further and don’t blow on any of the cuts either, okay? And don’t take the ice pack of for 10 minutes and then we’ll put it on again.” She muttered most of it to herself, but it still left a small smile on Billy’s face. He loved it when she spoke all medical nonsense to him, or even slightly cared about him. Coming from a household that was pretty hostile towards his late comings and goings – her attitude seemed to soothe him the most.

“You’ll have to stay here tonight, okay? Because I’ll need to change everything in the morning again – I’ll tell my dad you’re here, kay” She turns around to go see her dad, but instead he grabs her hand and pulls her back.

“No, please don’t. He really doesn’t have to know!” He tiredly tells her, and she looks at him absurdly, until finally giving into his request.

“Okaay,” She tells him, with a small smile on her lips. “Let me just get a blanket and pillow for me and, uh, you can take the bed.” But before she can go anywhere, he brings his arms to wrap around her waist pulling her closer to him.

“Noo, I’m pretty sure your bed could handle more than one person… hey, Come one! We could just stay in the same bed and you know, you wouldn’t have to explain anything to your dad in the morning?” He asks, and she looks at him unsure.

“Oh. Okay, I see, so you can just act like a shithead back in the car and refuse to talk to me and then show up at me house at 1 am in the morning – beat-up – and I’m just supposed to let you sleep in my bed. God. You’re so – “

“I’m sorry.” He blatantly cuts in and she just watches him – quietly.

“Ok.”

…

She wakes up by the sounds of yells and bangs from the kitchen. Hopper and El are having their daily argument of Eggo’s and she tries to get up, but a heavy arm is draped across her waist – stopping her from getting up.

“Ugh – huh?” She makes out, groggily.

Last night flashes through her mind, and she jolts right up, subsequently stirring Billy from his sleep.

“Billy – Get – Up – Now!” She emphasizes each word with a smack of a pillow on Billy.

“Ugh – god – stop it.” He mumbles, ignoring her frantic calls for him to get up.

“Billy, I will personally drag your ass all the way out of that window, so you end up falling from 2 stories up and leave you out there in the cold to suffer, if you don’t get up now, shithead!” She’s whisper-yelling at him, pulling at his arm to get up. After no response, and no contribution to get up – she leaves him on the bed and starts to get dressed. Frantically pulling open drawers and choosing clothes, she’s oblivious to Billy staring at her through one open eye, hid behind his arm and a small smirk on his face.

She sighs and releases a groan in frustration, as she looks as Billy (who is acting like a shithead and pretending to be asleep) and places her clothes on the bed and tries once again to get Billy out of the damn bed.

“Billy – you – are – so – big – ahh – get – up – shithead – “ She annunciates between pulls on his arm before the door is thrown open and she lets out a yell and Billy jolts upright – scared at the possibility at who might be at the door.

Eleven is staring at both of them – shocked – and the irritation on her face when she came in is no longer there. Instead she looks between the two figures (one shirtless on the bed and the other only in an over sized sweater) and the she locks eyes with you, and you end up a sputtering mess.

“El – it’s – it’s – um – gosh – Billy get of me – EL WAIT!” You scramble to let go of Billy and make your way to El before she says leaves and says anything to Hopper.

You catch her arm and pull her inside the room while simultaneously closing the door shut.

“Look – El – You cannot tell dad about this, okay?” You whisper – face full of worries, making El ask a simple question to which you end up sputtering nonsense.

“Why?” El asks innocently and you wonder to yourself why am I in this mess?

Somewhere between you being a sputtering mess and El being confused, Billy decides to speak up.

“I got beat up and (Y/n) here helped me with my cuts and we just don’t want Hopper to know because you know – he’ll get mad.” He blatantly replies, redirecting both girls’ attention towards him

El looks at them both, eyebrows furrowed and eventually nods at them both.

“Oh god thank you El so – so – “

“WHAT’S GOIN’ ON IN THERE?” She’s interrupted by Hopper banging at the door – reminding them both that they’ll all be late if they don’t hurry up.

You shoot Eleven a pleading look as she opens the door, revealing a haphazardly dressed Hopper.

“GUYS – oh – what’s going on in there?” He asks unsure of what’s going on, as El steps out closing the door slightly so Hopper can only see your figure in the doorway.

“(Y/n)’s just started her period.” She says to Hopper, who quickly turns white while you’re turning a deep red in embarrassment. While El starts to pull Hopper away from the room, she winks at the girl who’s blushing deep scarlet and says,

“So, yeah, let’s go dad and leave her be.” While Hopper is trying to comprehend how to form an actual sentence. He ends up turning around to yell,

“How – HOW ARE YOU GONNA GET TO WORK?” She thrusts her head out of the door to look at him and say hurriedly,

“I’ll – I’ll just have um – STEVE – to come and pick me up – yeaah, HAVE A GOOD DAY, LOVE YOU, BYE” She exclaims before slamming the door shut and breathing a sigh of relief, until realizing that Billy’s still here.

The boy in question (who was still shirtless – leading to her flushing red) was walking around the room admiring the place – from the cream walls which were covered in movie and book posters and adorned in a plethora of pictures, some in frames on the bedside table or on her desk – which was littered in trinkets or souvenirs of destinations from road trips. Most Polaroid’s around the room were mainly of you and El, (and most containing Hopper) while most of the newer ones were of you and Nancy, and Robin, since all of you had become close friends after the whole Mind Flayer business.                            

He also noticed that most of them contained Jonathan and Steve and when he realized that he was present in none of them – he felt his heart sink even further

“Ok, Billy, so now I’ll just remove the old bandages and put new ones over the wounds, and it should be good.” She says, dragging Billy out of his spiral of thoughts while pulling his arm to take him to the bed to work on his cuts and bruises.

“You’ve got a lot of pictures here, it’s nice” He says, wanting to interrupt the silence, and she looks up at him then around her room and shrugs.

“Mhmm, thanks, I started taking them when we found out about – um Sarah…” You didn’t finish the sentence and you didn’t need to – Billy knew what had happened, so instead he grabbed your hand and gave it a light squeeze as you gave him a soft smile.

“You know I’d have pictures of you up on here – of you actually hung out with me.” She starts of, “You’re only ever around if you know – you’re hurt, or dad sent you.”

And he doesn’t know what happened, but something in him snaps.

“Well, it looks like you have enough people to hang out with.” He comments, with an edge on his voice.

“I’m sorry, what’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, confused and slightly hurt.

“It means – you have enough people to hang out with – like Jonathan and Steve, so I really don’t need you to give me a pity look and try to be my friend!” He says, raising his voice in annoyance.

You only watch him in silent fury and hurt in your eyes, until you take your bag and items and head out of the room – leaving Billy while muttering,

“When you’re done, you can get out of my house Hargrove and stay out.” You mutter softly and it doesn’t change the fact about how it hurts him right in the chest and how much he wants to say sorry – but doesn’t.

You close the door quietly and your footsteps echo lightly – and Billy wishes you had exploded, slammed the door, yelled at him, hit him – anything, because watching you slip quietly away from his fingers – hurts more than anything else.

…

He wants to slam the door or punch the wall – but can’t. So instead he paces around the room in quiet anger – until a certain glimpse of a drawing catches him off-guard. He walks towards her desk, which is littered with pencils and paintbrushes and her drawing pad – wide open, on the floor are scattered pieces of artwork – from paintings aligned against the wall or resting on the easel.

A picture of him is what he’s staring at. It’s a sketch but finely detailed and drawn with such gentleness; he slowly picks up the drawing and folds it up and tucks it inside his jeans pocket and takes one last glance at her room – before leaving through the window.

…

“Charlie, Fuck of, will you!” You yell at her across the art store. She was the other employee at the art supply store you worked at in Starcourt.

“Hopper. Tell me. Please.” She begs, walking towards you with pleading hands.

“Why do you wanna know so badly?” You ask, tired of her antics that keep annoying you as you try to shelve the new supplies that came in the morning.

“Please. It – it’s just than Justin’s asked me out on a date next weekend, and I don’t wanna go alone!” And you look at her unimpressed. “AND, if you could just please tell me if you’re dating anybody – then we could go on a double date or somethin’!”

“And what if I’m not dating anybody?” You ask, regretting it after she replies,

“Then I’ll just ask somebody to go on a date with you?” She responds, uncertainly, and you roll your eyes.

“No thanks Char,” You say, stepping down off the ladder, and making your way into the back to change clothes.

“Ugh.” She whines, exaggerating a pout as you walk out with a change of clothes – no longer wearing the company apron over your white sleeveless dress, but holding a blue denim jacket in your hands, which you put on while ignoring your blonde-haired friend’s pleading cries to go on a double date with her.

“(Y/n)! Goddamn it – Wait!” She hurriedly exclaims throwing her apron in the back door and yelling out for Dan (The other, other employee who preferred not to talk to either of you, mainly because you think he hates both of you) to cover her shift, before running out of the shop to follow you.

“Oh – my – god – please – stop – walking!” Charlie exclaims between breaths, before you abruptly stop in the middle of the mall – both of you looking strange, as one girl is panting heavily with an arm around the other girl’s shoulders.

“Ok. Ok – okay, I’m fine now,” She finally says, regaining her posture. While looking at your appearance – she notices your jacket and casts a curious glance at you. “Wait – when did you get that jacket?” She asks her hazel eyes burning a hole in your eyes as you feel yourself blushing red.

“Hey Hopper, answer me!” She asks getting excited, and you quietly mumble – hoping she wouldn’t hear it,

“It’s Billy’s,” But she hears you and squeals there, attracting the attention of passing teenagers, “But – SHHHHH!” You say dragging her away, to a corner.

“I KNEW IT!” She says, “You’re dating Billy!”

“I’m NOT!” You reply back hotly.

“The why’re you wearing his jacket?” She fires back.

“He left it at my house.” You mumble softly.

“WHAT?”

“Hey Shithead, can you get any louder, Shut up!”

“No, you’re dating Billy – which means you can come with me and Justin!”

“WE AREN’T DATING!” You exclaim before storming off, out of the Mall into the parking lot – where the sun was setting, creating blush ribbon cascades in the sky – and you take a deep breath to calm yourself, before Charlie finds you again.

“Hey Princess,” A voice begins as arms wrap around your waist, and you let a yelp.

“BILLY – WHAT THE – “ You try to say, before he cuts in,

“Hey, let me explain. Please” He whispers the last part – and you don’t know why you trusted him – but you did and he guides you to his blue Camaro, and you lean against the hood as he watches you against the soft pink sky – with undertones of orange and a looming blue.

“You look pretty,” He begins, “Even more so with my jacket.” He says with a small smirk on his face as you start blushing.

“Well, if you hadn’t left it at my house…” You start while shrugging the jacket off.

“No, Keep it.”

You smile gratefully, shrugging the jacket back on again – taking in the scent of cologne and an undertone of cigarettes and something you couldn’t put your finger onto, but it brought comfort to you.

“Well then, you’ll see it in a week, covered with graphite stains.” You remark, as you always left graphite stains on tables and desks and your clothes (which greatly annoyed your dad).

“I count on it.”

A beat passes in silence.

“Billy – “

“Look – “

Both of you start – but Billy starts again, this time walking closer to you so you’re both toe to toe and you can clearly see the detail of blue in his eyes.

“– I’m sorry, really. About what I said at your house and in the car, about how I act all annoying and snap all the time, and I’m sorry I don’t tell you how I feel.” He says toying with your hands, “And most of all, I’m sorry for not doing this sooner.” He mumbles before leaning into you.

You froze the second his lips captured yours – but then instinctively responded, threading your hands through his hair as his hands wrap around your waist.

It feels like a whole summer of unspoken feeling are unraveled and you both don’t wanna let go.

“I KNEW IT!”

You both break apart, at the shrill yell of Charlie, who appeared in the parking lot with Robin and another girl – whose name has totally slipped your mind but you knew she was hanging around Steve a lot lately – Charlie skips towards you and Billy – who’s lips are slightly swollen and hair – a mess. His arms are still around your waist, and yours on his chest.

“I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! Wait – why did you lie to me?” Charlie bursts, looking at both of you – expecting answers.

“It – it’s um, um – “ You’re pretty sure your mind just reset after that kiss, and you can’t comprehend anything.

“Wait. Who are you?” Billy asks, confused as to who Charlie is.

“Oh. Yeah. Hi, I’m Charlie Williams. I work with Hopper over here, at ‘The Artist’s Loft’ at Starcourt. You’re her boyfriend, right?”

Billy interjects before you could tell Charlie to screw off,

“Depends, if Hopper here says yes.” He says slyly, smirking lightly.

“To what?” You ask, curious and annoyed.

“CHARLIE! You shithead, Smith’s been callin’ you for a solid 5 minutes, hurry up will you!” Robin interjects into the conversation.

“SHIT!” Charlie yells, running the other direction, as Robin laughs loudly.

“Your welcome,” Robin comments, approaching both of you in the parking lot

“This is why you’re my best friend.” You say gratefully.

“I know, anyways, you and lover boy better hurry up before Charlie comes back – also please don’t continue to make out, I will throw up.” She says blandly before catching up with the girl she showed up with (whose name you still can’t remember, Henderson?). And you tuck your head into Billy’s chest – face red with embarrassment as he chuckles, and you can feel his chest vibrate.

“Sooo…” He starts off, as you look up at him.

“Mhmm” You reply, playing with his hair

“Would you wanna go out with me princess?” He asks, a little nervous, and you decide to toy around with him.

“Hmm, I don’t know – “You say, and as soon as you see Billy’s expression fall, you giggle, leading him to be confused and you stand on your tip toes and press a chaste kiss against his lips, before responding.

“Yes. Yes, Of course!” And he grins.

“Oh, and also, about how you were all mopey in my room about how we don’t have any pictures together, I thought we could take one now?”

You start, pulling a polaroid camera out of your bag, and as you’re about to snap a picture of both of you, Billy captures your lips in a small kiss.

“Billy!” You laugh, as the picture comes out.

“Sorry, if I want to enjoy the company of my girlfriend!” He says wrapping his arms around yours and pulling you in to his chest, placing his head on yours.

“Hey, do you wanna go somewhere with me?”

“Mhmm, I’d love to.” You whisper softly.

…

Le fin.

(I was thinking about a pt. 2 with overprotective! Hopper and I just - Tell me what you think????)

Also,,, how was this fic???

[iniquity-fr]

i said i would elaborate on my thoughts/lore i guess re: dragons n shapeshifted (humanoid) forms and like.. social rules and whatnot around all that.... and then i wrote a ridiculous amount of notes abt the whole thing, oops.

separated into key sections but still very rambly and stream-of-thought overall, bc, when do i not type..... weird. words are eternally difficult for me and thoughts are a struggle to articulate, but i hope any of this.. makes sense? obviously this is largely abt my own clan/dragons/headspace/etc and not like. headcanons about other ppl’s stuff in general or anything like that haha. this is a LOT to read thru so if u actually go thru the whole thing a) wow thank u so much wtf b) perhaps give it a like so i know how u feel. not required but very very appreciated. :^) also deep apology to anyone for whom the read more breaks or something, oh god.

a tl;dr/basic overview

everyone can shift to humanoid/gijinka/person-shaped forms, differing based on their actual look as a dragon

most day-to-day life within the clan is in shifted forms, partly bc of Convenience, partly bc there’s a lot of Social Rules abt being on relatively equal footing w/ one another and keeping things fair and whatnot

using your dragon form to hurt not-dragon form people or even using it to harm smaller dragons is considered a terrible crime, and harming others while they’re mid-transformation is considered the ultimate taboo.

shifting 101:

everybody can shift between dragon/humanoid (gijinka.. however u wanna word this.... yall know what i Mean) form w/ different results--some more dragon-looking and/or generally monstrous, some looking fairly normal/basically like People, But In Rainbow Colors And With Horns. some may keep tails and/or wings or other things like that, but that isn’t especially common

smaller breeds tend to be shorter, bigger breeds tend to be taller, but there are exceptions & outliers! 

shifted forms tend to be pretty 'set' for most dragons, all obviously dependent on their looks as an actual dragon. their shifted form reflects their dragon form, and they can't make drastic changes to their form like changing entire facial structure/shape or body type or overall coloring.  however, dragons with stronger magic abilities/connections/powers/etc usually tend to have more freedom of their own form and may be able to change certain features at will--not entire faces or body shapes, but things like hair, nails, sometimes even patterns from genes (esp. tert genes)

dragons that are like, deity level or otherwise some sort of not-entirely/not-actually-a-dragon all-powerful creature or w/e usually have MUCH more freedom to change their form completely, if they so choose.

transformation is at will (and cant be done or undone unconsciously... ie a sleeping-in-shifted-form person is Not gonna turn back into dragon form in their sleep) and happens fairly quick for most, usually no long&slow weird animorph-esque thing, though it isn't all in a flash either--usually! once again on the "dragons with More/Better Magic Skillz" concept, a very magic-powerful dragon can usually shift much quicker than others. a "finger snap puff of smoke boom you're done" level of speed is Very Rare, but not unheard of. dragons who are either very young or simply not very talented w/ magic may take longer than others. the largest & smallest breeds also take a bit longer due to having to shrink down/size up every time. all this said, it never takes more than like, 15-20 seconds at Most, and even that range is considered Very Slow. it’s a short window, generally!

things like injury or sickness can make shifting difficult, but typically only like........... basically if you're literally dying you're probably not gonna be able to do it. having a broken leg or the flu shouldn't impact ability much, but bleeding out in the boneyard? ain't gonna make it work, buddy.

idk how clothes work lmfao. they just shift with the dragon i guess? sure. let's go with that. all clothes are magic now. i don't think EVERYTHING through, ok?

ok cool but Why Shift:

shifted forms make for much easier living-together-in-a-big-clan, especially in situations (like my own clan itself) where everyone lives in, y'know, buildings. houses and castles and churches and whatnot. it takes a lot more effort and resources and whatnot to build a house big enough for imperials to comfortably live in in dragon form than it does to just build a regular-sized house that a spiral & a ridgeback both can settle into & live comfortably in in shifted form or smth, yknow. it’s easier to accommodate people than dragons! 

communication & relationships can also be easier to deal with if you are all Relatively Close to the same size range. less leaning down or flying up to try and talk to your friend/coworker/partner/rival/whatever. part of this is also influenced by The Rules About Being On An Even Playing Field We Will Get To In A Moment

for many dragons its just easier to do things like art, music, crafting, writing, or working w/ small & delicate things, etc etc when you have proper hands and lot funky dragon claws. much of the more mundane reasons for these forms is just For Convenience's Sake!

that said, obvs. certain things are easier/preferred to stay in dragon form to do--traveling, for one, since, y'know, Dragons Can Fly, Usually. hunting & gathering is usually done in dragon form as well, though not 100% of the time. maybe u want to be a big and powerful dragon to go take down wild animals for food but just like, chill out w ur buds in person-shape to go have a relaxing fishing trip by the lake. it's up 2 u really.

sometimes dragon forms are preferred for fighting in general, esp against beasts, or if you are a lone dragon trying to protect yourself from threats, etc. in the case of smaller breeds especially, they can also be preferred for making a quick escape instead! (sometimes this is seen as Cowardly to do, but yknow, it’s an Option.)

aaaaaaand now we can get to The Rules which is where things become less abt convenience & common sense and more about my own........... we can call it lore? i guess? sure. it's lore. ok.

The Rules:

all the "for convenience" reasons aside, there are many largely unspoken but VERY important social rules regarding shifting and when you "should" or "should not" be in which form. within my clan/characters/headspace/etc etc it's all just sort of a known thing/smth ur raised knowing, there isn't like, an actual rulebook or smth anyone has to figure out. 

much of these rules are about being on an equal playing field, both socially & in battle. the social rules are much more important & strict within clan living areas, ie. the walls of cities and whatnot. things can get more loose & informal if ur like, out travelling thru the wasteland or wilds or whatever.

it's considered VERY rude to enter/generally be inside buildings in dragon form, usually, unless you're just like... popping in real quick to deliver smth or say hi or whatever.. and you can fit inside said building... and know the ppl there and whatnot... etc...... if you dragon out while already inside somewhere that's usually seen as like, a threat of some sort. due to how much construction & architecture & living spaces are shaped and whatnot, it's deemed unnecessary to bother with dragon forms inside the clan's walls in general, but especially within buildings, bc jesus christ dude ur gonna hit the ceiling or break stuff with your wings or something. be polite.

social interaction in general, esp. when Formal or in work/work-like settings, is seen as something usually meant more for shifted forms... some dragons who are very close, ie family & mates, can be fine in dragon form around each other, bc of the mix of informality & Trust. typically, if you want to have a conversation with someone and Not be seen as impolite or even hostile, shifted form is key. this falls back very much to the fact that dragons come in such VASTLY different sizes, from imps down to faes, and it's seen as unfair and often threatening to present oneself as a giant monster to whom others have to talk to, or as a tiny little creature either down on the floor or flitting around the room. shifted forms have about as much height/size variance as we do as humans, which can be A Lot, and some individuals can be even smaller or bigger than regular people bc Hey Its Fantasy, but generally speaking no People-Shaped height difference is going to be as crazy as dragons' can be.

basically, if you walk into the throne room or the church or anywhere Important & Protected and you're not in shifted form, you WILL be seen as either physically threatening the leadership or as an extremely arrogant & disrespectful fool. walking into shops/businesses in general as a dragon makes you look like you're trying to like, rob the place or smth. even just moving about the streets of the town as a dragon is weird, rude, and will make people uneasy. not to mention it’s potentially destructive!

everything comes back to the idea of being relatively similar in size/shape, in being close enough to equal in ability, strength, weakness, etc, barring the obvious difference that yes some people are stronger/more trained than others, some better at magic, etc etc. it's all about fairness!

this is all MOST IMPORTANT when it comes to FIGHTING........ bc obviously a very large dragon can just squish the bones of a very tiny dragon like nothing...... things like formal duels etc everyone knows OF COURSE this meant for shifted form, it's just an inherently known thing. if u fight with honor u fight shifted.

this even extends to the point that outside city walls, if someone's going to pick a fight with you, you Should still be duking it out in shifted form. it's such an important & revered rule that it's even usual for bandits and such out on the roads to attack travelers while in their own shifted forms. only the worst of all criminals cross the line--from the average petty thief & pickpocket up to professional hitmen and honorable assassins, it's rare to see even career rulebreakers break these rules. it’s That Serious

using your dragon form to attack someone who's shifted is seen as like, a completely horrifying and heinous thing to do, a sign of true cruelty and mercilessness. using your dragon form to escape from people is often seen as a cowardly and weak thing to do, unless ofc ur just like, small and afraid and get fuckin jumped by some big tuff dudes, yknow. being in a real & honorable battle means fighting in your shifted form.

the Ultimate Taboo however is hurting--especially killing--someone while they're mid-transformation, due to the fact that the process--while, as stated previously, is Very Short--leaves someone completely vulnerable and unable to defend themselves. transformation takes focus and action, and you can't really attack or dodge or anything while changing from form to form. the strength and speed and complete lack of hesitation required to end someone's life in the small window of time that it takes to shift is a terrifying thing to behold. killing someone midshift while in your own shifted form is especially weird & scary and means everyone is going to be afraid of you forever, basically, because. dude. holy fuck. how & WHY did you do that.

obviously the Normal reaction that Nice & Good dragons feel knowing someone who has crossed that particular line is, yknow, fear and resentment and seeing them as someone who is heartless and completely evil and terrible. to be avoided at all costs, if not outright arrested and executed for such a thing, in other places where ppl are like. ultimately good & caring abt one another and whatnot. but that ain't my clan babey!

aaaaaand finally a wrap-up w a lil bit abt my clan full of shitty devil babies and how these rules impact their lives hehehe

though the clan is VERY strict abt the larger social rules regarding shifted forms vs. dragon forms, thats more for formality's sake & a part of the clan's entire thing of being like........... full of/ruled by morally bankrupt weirdos and villains and chaotic neutrals mostly And Yet all putting on the show & appearance of being honorable high-status nobles & academics and whatnot. among the court in particular it's all Very Important bc everyone has to behave like stuffy uptight formal folk very often. also their section of the clan home is like, a very compact city w/ narrow streets and stuff, so obviously no one Can just. walk around as a big giant dragon.

a few examples of dragons Breaking The Rules in more 'minor' ways include: -outlaw, who has absolutely 0 issue using the small size of his spiral form to break into houses & businesses and steal shit, or using it to slip away from authority figures and zip off and fly outta there. or to just be able to hide from authorities more easily. -fissure, one of the kings, a guardian, will occasionally use his dragon form as a threat display if anyone shows too much hostility towards his clan. threaten him and his people and he WILL threaten you back big time. -silhouette, royal guard captain, also a guardian, will do the same thing, though she reserves that for people found along the outskirts of the city walls. -sepulcher takes things the other way around--he enjoys the challenge of fighting&killing things 100x his size and if a dragon tries to harm him when he's in his shifted form he gets VERY excited!!!!!

the 2 worst culprits confirmed so far are the high priest, leader of the clan, scary rotten plague cult wyrmwound-worshipping bastard himself, fhtagn......... and the friendly, chatty, fashionable tailor, needle.

the skull mask fhtagn wears is fashioned from the skull of a half-transformed dragon. to have not only crossed the line of killing a dragon mid-shift but to wear a part of them as one's most striking attire that they're never seen without is a truly terrifying sight to behold for most... those of kinder hearts than this clan would see him for the disgusting & dishonorable bastard he is because of that alone, but the clan members--especially the church, of course--revere him for this. fear & horror go hand in hand with love & adoration among the congregation, so of course they love their mercilessly masked priest.

needle does not allow too many people to get a good look at his "trophy room" but it is... certainly something to behold. stitched & stuffed bodies of people killed mid-shift make up his favorite taxidermy collection, and he likes to think of this as.. some form of art. though very private about it, he's still fiercely proud of his collection. go out and bring him such a body yourself for him to work on and he'll love you forever!

anyway that’s it for now. this post is fucking long. i never write this much what fucking possessed me.

if u made it this far i wuv u. thank u :’)

[thetwistedclocks]

so like,,,, couldn’t focus and did this instead

- time for a hunting trip or patrol or whatever everyone’s there and alive we got the whole gang: arthur, leon, percival, elyan, gwaine, lancelot, and merlin

-this is an au so gwen and lancelot just are together and there was no drama with arthur

- gorgeous day, kinda hot though so they decide to stop for lunch and fuel up

- le bandits sneak up on them, and attack

-everything is just like a typical fight, everybody but merlin is whirling around, doing their thing

-merlin is behind a tree, doing little stuff to make sure no one is wounded badly or killed

-our shining knights wipe everyone out, just a ton of bloody bodies scattered around the clearing except they missed one

-this little rat sneaks up behind merlin and he’s got a knife poised to kill merlin

- arthur yells desperately for merlin to move, he cannot lose him not after morgana, not after his father, no no no 

- merlin whips around to defend himself, but he has no weapons, everyone else is too far away to help, and without thinking he blows the man back twenty feet, where he hits a tree and dies 

- everyone is frozen in place

-merlin slowly turns around to see arthur because oh shit

- arthur says no in a strangled, desperate voice

- arthur’s face contorts and he then starts to scream: how could you, you lying bastard, i trusted you, you were my best friend

- gwaine preemptively moves towards merlin, fearing for merlins safety

- lancelot does the same

-merlin just quietly says im sorry and then whirlwinds out of there but lancelot and gwaine were close enough to get sucked in with him

-the trio lands in a forest pretty far away from camelot, and merlin just curls up into a ball

-gwaine and lancelot look at each other and merlin in shock and have a silently mouthed conversation above merlin’s head

- Gwaine: what the fuck Lancelot: shit ok did you know Gwaine: I kinda had some idea but I never dug too deep into it, did you know? lancelot: yes, he saved my life by killing the griffin with magic Gwaine: so what now Lancelot: I guess we’re fugitives with him now Gwaine: he’s not gonna move for a bit, we need to take care of him until he recovers Lancelot: agreed, lets find shelter for the night

- and they do they just build a fire and make sure merlin’s warm and has some water but he refuses food

-back with arthur the remaining knights suggest going after the trio but arthur shuts them down, hes not letting himself show any emotion

-they ride back to camelot, everyone finds out, gaius is just broken at this cause he cant see merlin or help him anymore, gwen decides to leave camelot without telling anyone to search for her best friend and love, she forgives merlin but wants an explanation, arthur turns in on himself and closes himself off, hes curt and cold, the other knights just dont talk about it though they each slowly forgive the trio over a long period of time

-after a week of no talking, merlin finally speaks to gwaine and lancelot and says: “lets go back home, I can face arthur, and you two can rejoin the knights

-they immediately refuse, saying that they trust and love merlin, and they chose to stay with him

-merlin brings up gwen in hopes to convince at least lancelot but he says its safer for her in camelot and he trusts he’ll see her again someday

-merlin just cant argue anymore, hes tired, and mourning everything he’s lost

-in the morning, they decide well we gotta live somewhere so they figure out where they are, which is western camelot on the very edge at the foot of a mountain range that marks camelot’s border

-they set up a little cabin just outside a nearby village and live their lives

-pretty soon, after occasionally being in the village for supplies, the villagers get suspicious and ask them questions

- they just so happen to catch merlin, who’s a terrible liar, and he blurts out hes a healer

-this village has 0 healers so they start to bring their sick to merlin, who heals them for free, which results in lots of gifts of food and other stuff

-gwaine and lancelot start teaching sword fighting to keep themselves sharp and help out the village

-things are chill like this for a few months

-gwen is still wandering around, learns a bit about magic, and is just traveling through western camelot, hoping to find the trio

-back in camelot, arthur is cracking down on magic

-he isn’t killing people, but anyone found guilty of magic or anything is locked away in these cells uther had made under the regular dungeon out of sorcerers’ bones that contains magic, its like a second purge, just without the executions

-gwen knows this and wants merlin to come back and stop arthur

-lancelot and gwaine slowly gets merlin’s entire story out of him, and see him as a leader now

-merlin is quieter, more reserved, and rarely uses magic at all

-one time this little girl, maybe 10, is brought to merlin wiht a weird set of symptoms

-merlin immediately knows shes developing magic, so he sends the parents away, promising he will heal her, and then he tells her

-she is scared of not being abole to control her new powers but isnt scared of having the magic itself, and tells merlin that her parents are ok with magic too

-the next day he meets with her family, and they discuss it, and eventually, they all decide that he can train her

-so like a few weeks go by of this, and then another person comes to merlin

-this time its an older woman and she wants to learn how to control her magic

-pretty soon merlin is training a lot of people and gets a reputaion

-gwaine and lancelot are worried about how little he sleeps, and how little he talks about the past, they cant help him though

-gwen hears about this village, where magic is celebrated, and finds it

-she arrives, and runs into gwaine, who takes her hand and runs shouting throught the village back to the cottage where lancelot is training 

-happy reunion yay

-she and merlin talk, she gets his full story, and he is just a little happier knowing that she’s there but he also finds out about whats going on in camelot

-in camelot, all of the knights just dont talk to arthur anymore, for fear of his verbal abuse

-hes crushed that gwen is gone too, and feels that he has been abandoned 

-more and more magic users flock to this village until rumors reach all the way back to camelot

-arthur orders a raid, he orders no killing

-he doesn’t lead it, but eventually, 20 knights or so attack the village

- a lot of magic users are taken, and a few people killed in fires set by the knights

-merlin feels responsible and decides that his merry band of misfits needs to be safer and a whole lot more defended

-so he and a majority of the village move into the mountains

-merlin is now the accidental leader of a rebel camp

-its called camp maxia(magic in galcian/gaelic) and its inhabitants maxians

-years go by, as the camp grows with refugee families and those from villages attacked by bandits because the knights are all out looking for magic users and not protecting anybody

-merlin, with his right hands gwaine, lancelot, and gwen run maxia as a safe place for everyone, and he creates a name for himself as lord maxia to protect his real identity

-arthur knows about maxia, obviously, but doesn’t have the forces to take it down

- during this time gwen and lancelot have this huge wedding, very magical, and very nature themed

- so arthur has most knights out around camelot, and morgana knows this, she joins forces with cenred and takes camelot with ease

-arthur, leon, percival, and elyan get out together

-percival suggests going to lord maxia for help, as he’s got quite a sizable force and has been kind to camelot in not attacking them

-arthur immedietly shuts him down 

-they camp outside of the city for about a week, a couple civilians find them and tell arthur whats happening in camelot

-morgana is starving the people and killing those who act up

-arthur still loves his people, more than he hates magic

-so he agrees to go to lord maxia

-arthur, leon, percival, and elyan set out with the few civilians; the knights are each secretly hoping to see merlin at camp maxia, arthur is secretly terrified of that happening

-they’re picked up by a maxia patrol and held in a makeshift cell until lord maxia accepts them into the camp, cause they’re wearing camelot stuff 

-merlin is told of a group from camelot in the cells and knowing of camelot’s state immedietly send gwen and lancelot to meet them

- they expect a few knights and prepare to ask how they can help take back camelot

-when they see its elyan, arthur, leon, and percival they have the civilians released and cared for and sit down to talk to them

-arthur wont look at them, so leon speaks, and talks about whats been happening

-gwen offers maxia’s help, and lancelot says that planning would be a lot easier if they weren’t in a cell, and asks if they want to be processed into camp maxia

-the processing entails a quick truth potion along the lines of veritiserum 

-leon says he couldnt speak for the whole group, so lancelot says its a personal choice

-percival volunteers first, and then the other knights agree to it as well

-arthur is silent, but livid

-the knights are processed, and meet merlin, and for a night they all have a meal together and its almost normal 

-in the morning, merlin goes to see arthur, except he conceals his identity

-they talk, arthur is bitter, merlin is cryptic

-after a few days arthur realizes that in order to help his people he needs to set his anger aside and is processed

-merlin, identity still hidden, administers the test

-under this truth potion, arthur is honest about his views on magic in ways he didnt even realise

-merlin keeps his identity hidden for the planning, much to everyone’s dismay, but they respect his decision

-an attack on camelot is planned

-arthur at this point is slowly trusting knights again, and gwaine, lancelot, and gwen

-they ride for camelot, with camp maxia’s army

-the knights, including lancelot and gwaine, are with arthur and merlin, who’s identity is still hidden

-gwen leads the medical group behind them

-the battle begins, fought by merlin’s men against cenred’s army

-morgana threatens to kill the imprisoned sorcerers 

-arthur and merlin, still hidden, fight their way to the throne room

-its just them and morgana and the sorcerers

-arthur is thrown by morgana into the sorcerers

-then its down to merlin to stop her

-so they fight, a big badass magical fight scene 

-merlins cover is blown, hes hurt, looks like hes losing

-arthur is flipping out because its merlin and he forgot how much he missed him

-merlin is about to be stabbed by a magical bolt from morgana and arthur just screams merlin’s name

-merlin hears this and needs to live so he can talk to arthur so he defeats morgana

-battles over, people are freed

-merlin is chilling on top of the castle when arthur comes up

-they talk, for a long long time

-when they come down, merlin is forgiven, but not trusted, and magic is now not illegal

-merlin is made the court sorcerer, lancelot and gwaine knights, and gwen is a lady too cause she’s married to lancelot

-the foursome is now part of the round table and camp maxia is disbanded, no longer needed, and becomes a city at the foot of the mountains

-the knights can protect villages now

-all is right, except merlin and arthur still have this great distance

-gaius retires and just chills in merlins tower

-one time he’s out doing something important and arthur breaks his leg in training

-hes brought to merlin, who very very quietly asks if he can heal arthur using magic

-arthur agrees, and he sees merlin use good magic for the first time ever 

-this breaks down a barrier

-arthur visits merlin and talks about matters of state

-eventually just his day

-and then he trusts merlin again

-they become best friends once more

-then one night at a ball, merlin is being flirted with by a very attractive knight

-arthur gets really possesive and jealus

-he grabs merlin’s arm and tugs him away, saying something about court matters

-he dragsmerlin back to his room, huffy and angry, not letting go of his arm

-merlin asks what they need to talk about, and he doesn’t get an answer

-next he asks gently whats wrong

-at this point they’re at arthur’s chambers

-there’s no gaurds, they’re at the ball

-he tugs merlin into his room and just glares at him

-merlin is confused and asked what he did wrong, scared to lose arthur again

-arthur just groans and looks away and mumbles something about nothing

-merlin walks over, puts his hand on arthurs back, and says: “well its clearly not, tell me whats going on.”

-arthur just stays quiet

-merlin persists: “arthur please dont shut me out like this”

-arthur suddenly pins merlin to the door

-he just growls, “dont flirt with him”

-merlin is very confused and kinda scared because hes always loved arthur but arthur definitely doesn’t never ever in a million years feel the same way

-he quietly says why not

-arthur just. stares at him. “are you serious?”

-”yes?”

-and arthur just does the whole possesive door kiss thing

-merlin got a light bulb

-a few months later they’re married

-merlin is crowned king

-the end

just, random idea thats been bouncing around. should it be a fic?