#( it's hard to stay mad yknow.
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moeblob · 8 months ago
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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misc-muses · 4 months ago
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Stanley had always wanted kids, but due to his life circumstances, it never happened. He could barely keep himself alive after he'd been kicked out, let alone support a kid. They wouldn't have gotten the life they deserved. When he loses Ford, the thought of having children is completely gone from his mind. It's something he secretly regretted for a long time, but not so much anymore. Nowadays, his house is always filled with people he loves and who love each other, and that has to count for something, right?
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amethyst-halo · 2 years ago
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actually nightheart moving to shadowclan could be interesting bc we saw in both avos and tbc they just straight up start fights over shit in shadowclan and by god nightheart is good at stirring the pot
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dadbots · 1 year ago
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cold as shit & freezing my ass off in this winter (But at least we made it to December.)
#dadbots.txt#starting the new month off with a sore throat & body aches due to household cold-like symptoms. Thanks. Even when I was trying 2 avoid it#and with how cold it is — permanently staying In bed forever. Like it’s physically making me curl into a crab rn oh my god it’s so cold#Which is both hell and good in both ways. Bad since I stay in bed too much anyway. Almost everyday.#Especially with chronic low energy and 24/7 fatigued. Mentally and physically. And i really gotta do better -#- and reduce that since that adds up alongside other unhealthy habits. And I can literally feel it taking a toll on me unfortunately.#But also good since I’ll be resting more often than not. It’s not something i do and so having the opportunity to rest is kinda nice?#Still. Two sides of a coin right now. And this cold is definitely not helping me or the fact it’s easier to get sick 10x more.#Back to pain relievers and heat ig.#Although with this just. Might be a cold but also not? Thing? Since not all of my sore throats are colds but overproduced mucus. Gross.#But been drinking tea like habitually to knock this out and warm blankets and stuff. Feeling better as of typing this. So thank god it’s wo#This month been… interesting to say the least. A lot of personal talk and changes that should’ve happened years ago.#But hey. You live and learn.#And I’m not mad at it. I’m making progress when I would’ve shrugged and say it’d never happen. Now it’s happening and even I’m surprised#Doesn’t mean it’ll completely override everything in my life or push stuff to the side. Though it’s better than nothing so I’ll take it.#Winter is always hard for a lot of people and I’ve been hit with it as well. Even near the holidays and all.#Been rough. And the constant realization that each month I don’t remember…. Anything. That has happened.#But also that I did a little more than previously and slowly pushing it each month. Little by little.#There’s been a drastic change from last year to now. Went through new lifestyles and experiences. Exploring different fields. Etc#So it’s been one hell of a ride anyway. And that I can sit back and be content with. Even if nothing else is currently going on yknow#December probably gonna be slow. But we’ll see. Hope to bring new opportunities fortune and possibilities along the way. Take care y’all
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dutybcrne · 3 months ago
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Okay, I had more thinkings abt Hidden Strife. And lemme tell you, the timeline of Diluc’s departure of the Knights, his fight with Kae and him leaving Mond is WILD to me cuz it goes like:
On Diluc birthday, he and Crepus face Ursa the Drake and Crepus dies, due to, by Kaeya's thoughts in the manga & Vision Story, having been mercy killed by Luc himself
Luc resigns from the Knights after they try to defame Crepus and deny him the proper recognition of what transpired. According to the manga, this is where Diluc also abandons his Vision. Which MEANS
When Kaeya admits to Diluc that he was left in Mond as an agent of Khaenri’ah and they fight, Diluc’s flames that night were in fact the Delusion’s fire, not Vision based
Implied by a staff member of Winery’s letters (see number 14) Kaeya chose to stay at Knights HQ barracks/elsewhere of the Winery after this. At this time, he writes a private letter abt how he supposes he deserved Diluc’s wrath and that doesn’t blame him for anything.
Soon after, Kaeya writes his first letter to Diluc, telling him he doesn’t have to answer back, but even knowing Diluc wouldn’t want to receive anything from him, he still wants Luc to know Eroch ( guy who covered up the Ursa incident to ‘protect’ the Knights’ reputation, stole credit for slaying Ursa, and angered Luc enough to quit the Knights ) is being investigated by Varka’s inner circle. Which is INSANE, giving away such confidential information to an outsider of the knights, even if it IS Diluc, ESP via letter. No answer back from Diluc ( though for good reason in addition to his emotional turmoil/potential resentment, considering the former thought ).
Diluc decides to leave Mondstadt to pursue leads on the Fatui and the Delusion ( maybe prompted to get to the root of the problem? ).
Kaeya writes a second letter detailing that both he and Jean found out his plans. While Jean wanted to write to him to stay, Kaeya encouraged her to not do so and actively encouraged Luc to leave. No one else knows Diluc is leaving otherwise, because Kaeya tells Luc to leave at night and the soonest he can to avoid having to make anyone else sad over him leaving with goodbyes he’d have make. No answer back.
Diluc heckin leaves
Another letter from Kaeya following up tells Diluc Varka gave Jean the power to investigate AND punish Eroch for what he’s done, but he thinks the matter won’t be so simple even after he’s caught. But tells Diluc to wait for the good news. No answer back.
Varka at this time is, implied by his letter to Diluc, already away from Mond, so he wasn't present for Crepus' death nor Kaeya and Diluc's fight. But he is aware of what’s happened thanks to Jean’s letter, and gives his condolences. He reiterates what Kaeya said abt giving Jean authority over this case ( so no one else knows Kaeya is one-sidedly corresponding to Diluc at this point? 🤔 ) and adds he wants Diluc to stay with the Knights.
Diluc replies he has no intentions to stay with them ( if nothing goes wrong, so he MIGHT rejoin if it is extremely needed? 🤔 ), but thanks Varka for the letter anyway and wishes him well.
Alice gets involved bc Klee remarked to her that it’s been ages since she saw Luc, Alice tells Luc to travel aaaall over Teyvat and that she’s sorry what what happened to Crepus. She also reaffirms she believes Diluc is still kind and gentle, in spite of appearances.
Luc says he planned to travel more and tells her Klee is welcome at the Winery while he’s gone.
Implied to be Elzer states Kaeya just came back to Winery after taking leave for a few days and is currently staying in his old bedroom. It is remarked they Know Diluc would have never turned away Kaeya if he were there, and that Kaeya's presence livened up the place for them ( they missed him ;-; ).
Kaeya sends Diluc a letter saying he’s noticed a particular group of men whose employees seem to hang around Angels Share and dangerous places outside Mond’s main city. Tells Luc he thinks they’re associated with Diluc and claims the notes they dropped written in code were hard to see with a blinded eye.
Diluc’s first recorded reply to one of Kae’s letters. Acknowledges Kaeya’s observations and chides him for bringing up his eyes in his letters bc he’s not actually blinded in That eye ( implying not only are those men Indeed keeping an eye on things for him in Mondstadt, but also many MORE cases where Kaeya’s sent letters to Diluc regarding his eyes? )
Kaeya replies he didn’t intentionally mean for Luc to think so, though it WAS scarred ( Notably, Kaeya remarked previously that he was completely okay with Luc thinking he was left blinded by his attack in his private box/see 4 ). Kaeya closes this letter by saying Eroch was punished, and he's going to celebrate for himself and Diluc, bc he knows Diluc isn't the sort to do such things.
The Return of the King ( Diluc comes back to Mond sometime after reading Kae's letter )
#;save#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//I'm not gonna detail the rest of the letters after he comes back bc this was abt Luc leaving to his return; but YEAH#//I find so much of Luc's responses to things Kae says/does so funny. Like#//first; Kae telling him that Eroch is being investigated could possibly have prompted Luc to go off and investigate on his own#//Then Luc actually listens to Kae when Kae told him to leave to avoid making ppl have to say goodbye to him#//Bc by Klee's words; he'd been gone for ages & it seems he deffo didn't give any warning to anyone; just left#//Then sb telling Luc that Kae came back & stayed in his old room made erbody happy prompts Luc to send ppl to keep an eye on him#//Could be suspicion (but then why heed Kae's warnings & keep his letters?) or concern bc at this point he still thinks Kae's blind#//Prolly the latter bc he does not refute the idea that he would have been 100% okay with Kae staying if he'd been there himself#//Plus with Kae's observations on the 'businessmen'; it seems these ppl hang around places Luc would like to keep tabs on#//That are coincidentally ALSO places Kae would most likely be found at#//And when Luc finally responds to Kae bringing it and his eyes up; he isn't mad abt him finding out Kae wasn't blind after all#//Just tells him to cut it out; even if it is enough for Kae to give a semblance of apology in response#//Idk; these things are interesting to me#//But tbh I expect nothing less from the guy who went out of his way to deal with a HYDRO abyss mage. Yknow one KAE can handle better#in his first appearance; and made sure to look after Kae on the island adventure when he could have fucked off to do his own thing too#//Anywho; I record these things in hope they will help with my characterization of my special clowns kjnkfdg#//I might have forgotten or flubbed a few things tho RIP#//Plus I focused on convos between Luc and others in particular; not all of them as a whole unless they RLLY affected things#//Sooo#//khgbkdfg#//Honorable mention of Kae's post-return letters showing concern for Luc Darknighting & asking for a collab#//& wryly remarking that Varka wants them to talk bc he thinks they can mend things if they do (THEY CAN. THEY IF THEY WERE HONEST RAAA)#//While also telling Luc he's going to keep the meeting in midst of the Darknight hero investigation completely professional to avoid it#//Then Luc ultimately agreeing to collab with the knights bc Kae asked for it while also telling Kae to take care of himself bc; & I quote#'No need to worry about my safety. Self-preservation is easy. Striving towards my goal is hard'. Like' ALRIGHT MR. COOL#//Fucken clowns; WHY CAN'T YALL COMMUNICATE MORE LIKE THIS IN PERSON
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keerysfreckles · 10 months ago
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omg hii i haven’t requested stuff before anywhere so idk if i’m doing this right but 😭😭 i would loveee a luke castellan imagine where it’s like an angsty friends to lovers with a happy ending… kind of like the song friends by chase atlantic idk sjdieie (ps i loveee ur writing ur so talented)
brutal — luke castellan
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pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader
warnings: use of y/n and she/her pronouns (yknow the drill), slight cursing
a/n: did i watch mamma mia twice today? yes. will i watch it again tomorrow? yes.
masterlist !
꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱
y/n l/n wasn't sure why luke castellan was acting weird. was it something she had done? maybe it's his time of the month. she'll never know because she's too afraid to ask. she hasn't seen the hermes' boy all day, and wasn't going to bother looking for him now.
y/n was supposed to be mad at luke. the two have been inseparable since they both arrived at camp. so she was pleasantly surprised when luke had just shoved her off whenever she asked if he was okay.
the girl busied herself this evening by collecting hay bales to bring to the stables. this was usually grover's job, but he was with percy and annabeth on a quest chiron gave them earlier that week.
she wasn't expecting any visitors, so to say she was taken aback by luke showing up would be an understatement.
"what are you doing here?" she asks, not bothering to look up from her wheelbarrow of hay. she continued filling it while luke walked closer to her.
"i wanted to check on you. you seemed to he distancing yourself today."
y/n scoffs, "i haven't been the distant one."
luke rolls his eyes, "what are you talking about?"
y/n doesn't respond.
"you think i'm the one being distant?" luke asks.
y/n shrugs before responding with sarcasm laced in between her words, "i figured since you haven't talked to me all week, and every time i asked if you were okay you'd turn around and avoid answering me. that's just a guess."
"i'm not trying to avoid you," luke responds, yet y/n scoffs again, not believing a word the boy says.
"you don't believe me?"
y/n finally looks at luke, "what was i supposed to think? that we were fine? while you were busying ignoring me and making me feel like a shitty friend?"
it's luke's turn to stay silent, which only makes y/n groan and go back to her task at hand. luke follows her. he grabs her shoulder to try and stop her. y/n only shrugs him off.
luke takes in a deep breath, "do you want to know why i've been so standoffish with you?"
"only if you don't avoid me this time, sure, have at it," y/n doesn't stop walking, and she can only assume luke's following her as his voice doesn't falter.
"i started realizing i have feelings for you," he pauses and y/n takes the silence to turn around. she drops the wheelbarrow and faces luke.
"i'm not used to it okay? so i- i figured if maybe i ignored you the feelings would go away. gods it's stupid, believe me i know. it hurt to see you get so upset."
"so why didn't you just talk to me about it in the first place?" y/n questions.
luke shrugs, "i was worried it'd ruin our friendship."
"oh so ignoring me wouldn't ruin it either? okay," y/n turns back around and starts pushing the wheelbarrow in the direction of the stables again.
luke runs his hands over his face in annoyance, "y/n can you please just listen to me? this is hard okay? i'm not used to liking anyone, especially not you."
y/n stops again, but doesn't look back towards luke.
"especially not you," luke repeats.
"would this be a bad time to say i've liked you since i first got to camp?" y/n still hasn't turned around, and her voice is quiet as she plays with her fingers as a distraction.
luke chuckles, and y/n can picture a blush is appearing on his cheeks.
"i wouldn't say it's the best time, but definitely not bad timing," luke jokes.
y/n finally turns around, with her arms crossed. luke has his hands in his jean pockets. the pair awkwardly stand four feet away from each other. the silence between them is defeaning, and they both know it.
four feet turn into three.
three feet turn into two.
two feet turn into one.
luke brings his hands up to hold both of y/n's cheeks.
"what are you doing?"
"kissing you."
before y/n can get a proper response out, luke pushes his lips against hers. it catches the girl by surprise. she kisses back, because she isn't an idiot, and her hands hold onto luke's wrist. luke pulls away first, and can't help but laugh at y/n's frazzled state.
"you alright?"
"i hate you."
but luke knew she didn't mean it.
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ijjstlostthegame · 10 months ago
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Yknow what? Fuck it we ball, imma share the au but im sorry for any typos in advance
"An actual leader" AU
In this au after the perfect family harmony doesnt work, even tho they end up in a fight, the brothers dont keave, tgey kind of stay mad at JD for a long time and JD is too stubborb to apologize
So they're like at a standstill wuth each other
Until the great escape comes long
Thats when it gets bad
When they escape through the tunnels the bergans find them and start digging
While the bros run through the tunels, the tjing starts collapsing on them, and seeing as their way is gonna be cut off from them JD grabs a hold of his bros and pushes them further as a last effort in hopes they make it
They do
But he doesn't
Left behind at a dead end him and the trapped trolls start to navigate for an alternate way to get out and meet up with the other trolls
That doesnt hapoen as bergans find them
JD immediately leapd into actiob, adrenalin pumping in his vains, distracting the bergans as much as he possibly could until all trolls are out
He unfortunately doesn't leave unscathed as when he was running away he niticed a little girl about to get crushed in the tunnels, pushibg her out of the way of rubble his leg gets caughg under and it gets crushed
That later on leads to the fact that he needs to amputate it
Said girl he saves btw ends up being viva
Now him and these trolls need to leave and never look back, find a place to settle in and call "home", he later on find himself taking the role of their leader without realising, old habits die hard it seems, and thus the putt-putt were under his responsibility
On tge otger side however, his brothers who escaped fully belive that tgeir brotger died, i mean who woukd survive that? And their world comes crashing down at that, they lost grandma the last trollstice, and now tgey lost john
And worst of all they lost him withoyt getting to make up or make thibgs right between them, he died thinking they hated him
All three, spruce, clay and Floyd lose colours and thibgs never are the same again, branch seems to be the onky one amongst them to keep a hold of happiness, but no matter how hard he tries to be tgeur beacon of light and happiness, to bribg back tgeir colours, it never works
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littleskeletonprincessss · 1 year ago
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Heyyyy yknow what we were just talking about? So, maybe you should write Schlatt getting mad and fucking the shit out of you
-In any context-
I’m totally not just asking this so I can complete all the drafts I have
Heyyyy, i'm going to use what we were talking about as the scenario for this. (For anyone confused, you can go read the post here (you definitely SHOULD go read it because) but tldr, Schlatt would throw a bitch fit trying to put a tent up. (The SHELTER kind, you filthy rats)
also, was definitely listening to ysf audio while doing this which kinda helped. Definitely recommend him if you haven't heard.
Just some HCs:
It definitely would have taken weeks and a couple blowjobs to convince Schlatt to take you camping.
When he finally gave in, the process didn't go smooth AT ALL.
You both somehow forgot to actually make reservations at a camping site, but you reassured him that you didn't need a campsite, you could just drive into the mountains somewhere.
So anyway it starts POURING rain.
And his car is getting dirty driving through all the mud puddles trying to find a place
Side note I think Schlatt is definitely the kind of man who babies his stupid car.
As much as he babies you, if not more
When you finally find a clearing, and the rain stopped, you both got out to set up camp
But come to find out the instructions for your tent were nowhere to be found.
Schlatt being who he is, insisted with every ounce of pride in his body, that he could figure the damn thing out.
He definitely muttered lots of swear words under his breath, along with the whole idea of this stupid trip
You'd been unloading the bed supplies and when you were done you noticed it was getting darker
So you innocently asked Schlatt if he wanted a little bit of help when you noticed that he'd made no progress
"No I don't want you goddamn help. I'm not a fucking idiot."
"Schlatt, come on, it's getting dark, let me help."
"Shut the fuck up. This whole stupid camping trip was your idea in the first place."
You could see Schlatt's eyes darken with anger and frustration and fuck was it hot.
"No."
Was it a good idea to say that right now? Oh absolutely fucking not. Did you care? Absolutely fucking not.
"What the fuck did you just say to me?"
"You heard me."
Schlatt would stand up, throwing the bag of stakes down and walk to the pile of blankets before grabbing a big one off the top.
"I thought I fucking did. Fuck this fucking dumbass tent, I can blow your back out right here, now lay the fuck down."
After Schlatt would spread the blanket out you'd lay down on the slightly damp ground, barely having time to move a rock from under your back before Schlatt was pressing hard kisses against your neck, sucking harsh bruises.
"What, I don't even get a kiss first?"
Schlatts hand would immediately be on your throat.
"You need to shut your goddamn mouth. Make me drive to the middle of bum fuck nowhere with a stupid tent that won't stay up."
Schlatt would break up his sentences with nips to your neck.
His other hand would hold both of your above your head, pinning your wrists.
The nice thing about being in the middle of nowhere was you could be as loud as you needed and Schlatt made it his personal goal sometime to make you break the world record for loudest noise ever made.
He'd waste no time getting both of you naked so he could just fuck you already and sink the tent he never had trouble getting up between your thighs.
And he'd go HARD.
Taking every bit of anger out on you
"Yeah, that's my little bitch. Just a fucking little cumslut for me aren't you doll? That's all your good for apparently, since you can only come up with stupid ideas like camping"
"Open your fucking mouth." he'd say before spitting in it. "That's it, sweetheart, take it."
Man would go for hours he was so pent up, both of you coming multiple times together.
After he'd finally calmed down, when the sun was just coming up, he'd pull his underwear back on before dressing you in the warm pajamas you'd brought
Just some of his sweats and his Wilson hoodie
before wrapping you in a clean blanket and bridal carrying you to the passenger seat of the car
He'd get dressed and pack everything up before sliding in to his sit and leaning over the console to kiss you.
"You okay baby?"
Schlatt is aftercare king, always.
"Mmm" you'd mumble quietly
Starting the car, Schlatt would start driving home.
You'd turn to watch the trees pass by out the window before glancing in the rearview mirror.
"Schlatt I think you forgot the tent."
"Nope."
And he'd drive away without another word leaving a pile of canvas behind you.
Anyway sorry this was shit. <3
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uhohdad · 5 months ago
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I need the most mundane, useless headcanons for the characters in tgwctm NEOW
⌜ KONIG X READER HUNGER GAMES AU ⌟
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• Konig has a secret lil spot in District Nine he’ll go to be alone on his days off. it’s a pond almost big enough to be considered a lake. He’ll sit on the grass near the forest line and just. Think. Mostly about reader.
• He feels so dumb about it and he would never ever admit it but he craves human connection so bad he’ll pretend he’s got friends with him. Or imagine Reader’s there with him. :(
• At lunch at school, Konig would sit by himself and listen to nearby conversations and pretend he was apart of the friend group. Like an IRL comfort podcast 😭
• He doesn’t have much time for it, but Konig loves reading. So enamored with the idea of getting sucked into a different world and pretending he’s someone and somewhere he’s not.
• Plucky gets detention in school regularly. She’s tight with the warden the poor underpaid schmuck who’s gotta watch the unruly kids
• If she didn’t have your birthday, Plucky would be an Aries
• She gets away with a lot more than she should because she’s just so hard not to love. how you supposed to stay mad at a bitch this funny.
• Price has always wanted to be a dad but he doesn’t feel right bringing a kid into such a cruel world. It also makes it extra hard for him to not get attached to his tributes because he can’t help but put himself in the father figure role.
• Price often passes out on the couch and Ruby will put a blanket over him and tuck him in :)
• If weed is a thing in the HG AU, Plucky would smoke big doinks in amish. smokin grass in the wheat fields like a lil degenerate yknow what i’m saying.
• Konig always gets post-nut clarity baaaad but he didn’t when he fooled around with reader 😭 He only felt bad bc he didn’t last long.
• Konig is so… gentle. With everything. He’s always so afraid of misjudging his strength - breaking things, hurting people, etc. He’s just extra cautious of his surroundings in general.
• Konig’s stomach hurts pretty much all the time. It’s the anxiety.
• Konig & Plucky’s backstory heavily inspired by this green text:
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⌜ KONIG X READER HUNGER GAMES AU ⌟
⌜ MORE TGWCM HEADCANONS & FUN FACTS ⌟
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pokegalla · 10 months ago
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Heeeey.
Surpriiiiise!!!✨
Yes I finally made some headcanons.
I know a lot of people have been wanting some headcanons but please read my pinned post before requesting? I will also put a link to it on this post. Thank you and enjoy the headcanons!
Trade/Request by @tryslogic
I owe them this one✨
Warning: Slight nsfw? Also it can be masc or fem with the ecto body. It’s up to your personal preference/interpretation honestly-
How would these skellies react to their S/o using their chest for hand warmers?
Killer:
* At first he was like, “Babe. I’m all bones. It ain’t gonna work silly~✨” but then he realized you meant his Ecto chest. To which he immediately teases you for being a little perv (the irony and AUDACITY of this man-)
* But ok ok he honestly doesn’t mind and summons it anyway! Well….while still being a tease with that shit eating grin. He even lifted his shirt just a tiiiiny bit to show off his Ecto. “Come warm yourself up cutie~” please bonk his head. He deserves it-
* But his red Ecto looks quite pretty! Like a shiny ruby! Kinda hard to stay mad when he’s flaunting off that waist. (He’s pretty and he knows it-)
* Once you do put those freezing hands there, he does jump a little as he didn’t expect you to be THAT cold. Ooooo but it was too warm to ignore✨ you had to give the booba a squeeze and for a bonus revenge. Which hilariously makes him squeak a little-
* Oop but now he’s giggling and looking back at you with a look of pure mischief. Better run because he’s putting those ice cold Skellie hands on YOUR chest now. And cold bones feel like death💦
* At least you both get a good laugh in! It’s always expected when you’re with Killer!
Lust:
* The offer was actually something he suggested as a joke. A flirty joke but he didn’t think you’d follow through with it. He’ll be pleasantly surprised and tease you for being so bold in trying to cop a feel~✨
* All jokes aside, he summons his Ecto for you! “Must be that cold hm~? No worries….I’ll warm you right up~” makes you question if he’s flirting or joking. Might be both if you’re lucky~
* His ecto is a lovely shade of lavender and quite curvy in general. It’s quite the attention grabber without him even trying. Will be very flattered if you praise him!
* Ah but he has the cutest reactions when he feels your cold hands. He’d do a little squeal and giggle from the surprise coldness. And squeezing the chest makes him laugh even more. He knew you were messing with him but dammit it was working.
* He’s not used to being held though without uh….yknow. “Favors” in return. But you being all cuddled up to him just unlocked him to a world of affection✨
* He couldn’t stop smiling even when you both dozed off.
Blue:
* Honestly at first he had no idea what the hell you asked him for- buuuut when shown an example? A blushing lil blueberry. Sure you didn’t mean TOO much harm in saying that but gosh how bold of you to ask this of him!
* But huh?! No he’s not scared! The magnificent Blue will not back down! Just….give him a minute to hype himself up💦 and try not to die of embarrassment-
* His Ecto is like a blue ocean in a tropical climate. It’s quite the sight to see. Best part? He had the perfect mix of muscle and a little fluff. Extremely comfy-
* He is just cute to begin with. But look at him now, getting all flustered✨ though he was more worried about how cold you were and poor thing was ready to buy you gloves and everything. But he lets out a loud “MWEH?!” Upon feeling you give him a few squeezes.
* He’d giggle just to turn around and give you a big ol hug! “Oh you tease! Come on….lets cuddle on the couch and drink hot chocolate together!”
* Ah what would you do without him?
Fell:
* Deadass he thought you was joking. He even laughed and went to see if you were laughing. Wait….seriously? You wanna do THAT??? “Well damn shouldn’t yah take me tah dinner first-?”
* He was stalling at this point but enough begging will finally make him crumble and give in. You are so lucky he likes you and so on with his grumbling and mumbling.
* His ecto reminds you of a garnet due to the much darker tones along the edges (*Ahem* Fits him because he’s a edgelord *Ahem-*) plus he’s a lil chunky. He’s so soft 🥹
* Oh man but as tough as he tries to act, he immediately shrieks feeling your hands- “ARE YAH FUCKING DYING?! WHY ARE YAH SO DAMN COLD?!” Then you squeezing him just makes him blush all over-
* Yeah he’s definitely getting you a scarf, gloves, and extra jackets and sweaters. Buuuuut…..he still said his chest was still an option if that’s not enough.
* Ah he’s a sucker….and a sucker only to you.
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museofthepyre · 8 months ago
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MAJOR CHNT FILE 33/34 SPOILERS. LIKE MAJOR MAJOR.
Sydney’s mode of death has been wracking my brain lately. So I’m here to ramble off my thoughts. I think the biggest clue is this line from Elijah.
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“Died tenderly on the clean sheets it was gifted”… I was a fan of the drowning theory, but this is pretty solid evidence against it. Drowning is messy, whatever Jedidiah did was discrete and clean— also, possibly in some sort of hospital bed? Cabin… bed? Gifted clean sheets… whatever that means. Anyways drowning or not, the respiratory distress/ hypoxia themes are HUGE and INCREDIBLY RE-OCCURRENT so I cannot overlook them. The theory that Jedidiah may have just pulled the plug is also enticing, but I’ts not as directly linked to those specific “can’t breathe” themes… so.
There is a certain discrete and rapidly lethal poison which causes tissue hypoxia... and that is Cyanide. I found these tidbits interesting.
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Sounds kinda similar to a certain someone’s current “mystery condition”. Anyways
Most important things here: Cyanide poisoning presents as respiratory distress/ hypoxia/ “trouble breathing”. longer exposures can result in a coma, long-term neurological issues, and obviously death. Exposure can be through ingestion, inhalation, or dermal routes. No mess. It’s often used in murders/ su!cides for these reasons.
So. That is! Certainly something! Just a theory, but very interesting! I also find it funny that most people think of apple seeds when they think of cyanide. Boy oh boy, I sure hope there isn’t anything dangerous inside this here apple. Like a teensy bit of cyanide… or a centipede.
To the drowning theory’s credit. Hypoxia, again. Themes of not being able to breathe. Sydney’s first described dream with Adam being set under water. Jedidiah throwing the necromancy’d rabbit into the lake after disassembling it. Sydney’s hydrophobia (though that may stem back to childhood). Jedidiah being averse to this years lake day all of a sudden (which is noted as uncharacteristic). Probably some other things that I’m forgetting… but that “died tenderly on the clean sheets it was gifted” line is pretty hard to refute.
Also also I think regardless of where Sydney DIED, he was RESURRECTED on the camp grounds. I could speculate on how he got to the campgrounds in the first place… but I’m almost wondering if… so yknow how when treatments are failing and it looks like a patient is going to die, they’re given the option to a) stay in hospital and keep going with the treatment, despite the risk of dying there… or b) embrace fate and spend their remaining days comfortable, at home and with loved ones? Sydney had fond memories of the camp. Sydney didn’t have a home to return to (besides maybe Lucille’s house but I doubt he’d choose that). So I wonder if, in that scenario, he would’ve chosen the camp. If he’d been gifted a room to stay in for however long (they thought) he had left. Which would be why Elijah knew where to go interrogate Lucille later on… if he’d followed them there initially. This bit is entirely speculation btw, major guess. The timelines are hard to string together atp so take this with a grain of salt.
This is driving me to madness
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urlocaldesertdweller · 1 month ago
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its a stupid thought but yknow that debate of which is correct? if grey or gray is the right way to spell it, yeah i totally seeing ford being the lovable nerd he is actually cares about that debate (you know hes DEFINITELY on the grey side)
he’s one to make clear that its ALWAYS and ONLY spelt with an e, to his mind spelling it with an a felt more simple and dare say childish while the e version felt more sophisticated (nerd) 
and trust me, he is very vocal especially to Stanley who prefers spelling it with an a, and scolds and gets into a meaningless argument of which is better
until you come into the topic, if you prefer it being spelt with an e he takes a strong liking to you almost feeling like you’re the only other one to feel the same way, he unfortunately is WAY too excited about how a color is spelt.
but if you spelt it with an a, hell be stunned for a moment almost reconsidering his wondering how he fell in love with you in the first place!
you lover is so pressed for a god damn letter in a color, that poor man</3
he stutters before he quickly watches your irritated face as he backs off before needing to put out through the scolding.
hell do everything to back out and apologize, because he knows how you feel when he gets carried away on his high horse of superiority, hell even take in your hand and squeeze it tightly as he peppers your face in light kisses
your faces softens both by the kisses and the tickling coming from his lips and stumble, you know you cant stay mad when he tries so hard to be good for you and only you
it makes you feel special<3
(just a stupid thought that popped in my mind with ford)
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violetarks · 2 years ago
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"dearer than i?"
anime: attack on titan
character: reiner braun
summary: an eldian warrior falls for the forbidden enemy, and he knows he would sacrifice anything for you. or, at least he would if he could.
warnings: g/n! reader, second person pov, heavily based off that tiktok trend going around atm (yknow the one), just a quick fic, wanted to try my hand at angst
you're not the first to find out about his secret. and you're definitely not the last. people from inside the walls that you protect, they find out within the week. you don't know how you could've been so blind, so dumb. falling for someone like reiner... falling for someone at all. you were a soldier, for god's sake. not some lovesick fool.
but you sure did feel like one.
how he made you feel like a lovesick fool, and how much you loved it, loved him. you can't wrap your head around it, even as you cry in your sheets and hide all the presents he had given you — soft blankets, a now dried flower from his visit outside the wall — just so you could keep them. you couldn't throw them out, no, that would be barbaric. you... just need them here, for your sake.
he didn't even look at you when you called his name, pleading for him to come back and surrender. you begged him to stay home, to stay with you, and you were faced with the sheer rejection he unwillingly showed you as he escaped. how could you love someone who has left you behind in the remnants of his lies?
you criticise him for being such a beautiful man, who loves you more than either of you could ever love yourselves. but now you know why. because he could never forgive himself for what he was about to do to you, your family, and your home.
you could never forgive him.
which is why you are so utterly confused when you see a note in your room, on your desk, asking you to meet him at your special spot. he signs it with his name, handwriting rough as always and slightly more rushed.
you almost don't believe it's him. why would he write to you now? a long time after he left you. what right did he have?
you want to crumble it all up and throw it out the window, or burn it and let your bedroom go up in flames as well. you want to sell him out. you could bring levi, eren, mikasa or literally anybody else, they could hide in the shadows and strike when you have him at his most vulnerable.
it would be poetically miserable, an untimely ending. revenge tasted sweet on your tongue.
but you held it. your heart had it in a headlock, and it forced you to keep that note a secret, and it pushed your legs up that mountain, trekking through the heavy greenery. it made you look back at the talk blonde, with such broad shoulders that you had hugged so tightly your heartbeat could mould into his.
he is tired, he is sad when he sees you. he almost wishes you hadn't come. because he can see how tired you've become over the three years he left you here. you stare back at him, but you don't look mad or upset. you simply soak in the sight of him.
he will never forget the blood that seeped through your uniform, how even after he had caused your injury, you still chased after him with your gear when your horse was killed amongst the thrown rubble.
your hair is the same, you must've been maintaining it. you need to keep up appearances; the soldiers that were put under your command look up to you, they need to know how strong you are. and reiner can see that.
but you have a scar across your collarbone. namely, the place where debris of the village had hit you when he and his fellow warriors made their escape. he remembers watching you fall under the crumbled stone and wood. your yell of pain as you threw your head back, and he could see metal protruding from your upper shoulder, cutting quite roughly through the top of your trapezius, deep enough to leave the bumpy scar between your neck and shoulders.
bruises covered your body, and you have a bandage around your hand. you've always been a hard worker. and you'll beat yourself to death if it meant to get over him.
yet here you are...
what happened?
"you came." reiner says, voice low and just above the sound of the wind. it's midnight, just after, and he watches you in your shirt and your thick jacket covering your shoulders. he can't muster up a smile.
and neither can you. the note crunches in your fist. he watches. your voice comes out louder than his, just barely. "you called."
devoid of any true emotion.
he stands just four feet away from you, and if he shuffled he could engulf you in his arms. but he doesn't deserve it.
"why are you here?" you ask, suddenly in control of the conversation.
"i wanted to see you."
"why?"
"did you not want to see me?" when you don't answer, he fills the silence. "i missed you."
"do you, now?" a sense of doubt lingers in your tone. reiner nods carefully. "do you regret leaving?"
"i don't know." he says, rubbing his cheek. he isn't sheepish, he used to rub his cheek when he was nervous or he was flustered by you. you used to find it endearing, now you find it infuriating. you want to cut off his hand. "i don't know."
he repeats himself like a broken record and you step forward, your stance confident as you let the the cold air of the cliff push your hood off of your head. "would you have stayed if... if i did something?" you ask, brows upturned in desperation, "what could i have done to prevent you from leaving? what made you... stay with me in the first place?"
"i didn't want to fall in love with you, y/n, i promise that what we had was never planned. i didn't want it when we began." his words should hurt you even more, add fuel to the fire, but you find yourself momentarily thankful. "i stayed that long because i loved you more than my purpose. i loved you so much that i would disregard what i was meant to be doing. i just wanted to love you and have you. i wanted nothing more."
you won't cry for him. you won't shed one single tear for this dunce. not with how he stared at you when you were enrolled, not with how he kissed you out of nowhere when celebrating your graduation, not with how he made you feel like he would never leave you. no, you won't cry for him now.
he cries. he has tears running down his chin, but his tone keep steady. as if he's been practicing. the sight of you makes his heart lump in his throat.
"but... there was nothing you could've done to keep me here, y/n. i'm sorry." he makes you feel like you're not enough anymore. a plaything, a toy for him to drag around while he holidayed within the walls. reiner makes you feek like a fool. "i had to leave. and i couldn't take you with me. you don't belong with the people of my home. they would hurt you."
"more than you did?" you scowl, balled up fists as you glare at him. your heart pounds in your ears and your face feels like it's heating up. reiner's cool facade breaks, and he begins to wipe his tears away. "how could anyone hurt me more than you have?"
reiner speaks through his palms, "i don't know..."
"you never know." your voice is harsh, it's similar to the irritation that those soldiers spit to him when he is home. but the malice in your tone is different. far, far more hurtful. "why do you never know? you don't know any reason to stay, you don't know why you didn't just leave me alons, you don't know why you promised me the world and left with everything i was."
hands grip the edge of his coat. marley's colours litter his person, but nobody would notice. not with how well he had hidden it. but you'll remember the uniform of that bastard who killed your commander, who was playing a game with the lives of all your comrades. and you will never forget how reiner shares that same uniform.
reiner cries more, he watches you take another step forward and his fingers tangle in his jacket. you leave footsteps and leave a pang in his heart.
"i can't believe i fell in love with you! i—i wish i had never met you, reiner! annie was fucking right, i thought she just hated you, but she was just trying to save me!" you shout, anger lacing your throat as you throw the crumbled note into his chest. you're crying. you cry when you're angry. he knows, and he knows how much you wished you weren't crying. it drips onto the dirt. "i... i can't believe you would do this us... why didn't you choose us, reiner? after everything we all did together, you still chose to leave?"
he's going to give you the same answer, and you know it. you wait for him, though. a habit that just refuses to die with your memories of him. reiner holds the end button of his jacket, and he looks back at you with those puppy dog, sad eyes that he would give you when he accidentally made you upset. but you don't fold over this time.
you're in arms length.
reiner misses you the most at night. after a couple years of saying 'goodnight' to each other, holding one another as an excuse to keep warm, kisses of comfort, it's hard to go back to your life before. reiner finds it just as difficult. he waits, and waits, and waits for you to come into his bedroom and kiss him, sneak under his sheets and sleep in with him until an hour before you were to wake. but you never come.
"why didn't you just stay? we would've... you could have stayed." you say, scrambling for that piece of you stil loved him. it wasn't hard to find. you still looked at him the way you used to when you were upset with him, looking for some sort of reasoning. that was hard to find. "why did you do it?"
"i don't know." his voice is even more desperate than before.
when your fist collides with his jaw, sending his head up and his body falling back, reiner swears he's seeing stars. maybe that's because he was, having now been faced to the night sky. but there's no doubt that your punch had knocked his smarts back into play.
you're on top of him in an instant, tears rushing down your face and landing on his chest. you sit atop his hips, yanking on his collar to pull him up at you send another punch.
"i hate you! i can't—!" you begin to angrily call, reeling back to hit him again. you watch his face bloody. but it's not enough. it won't ever amount to the blood that was spilled those days he attacked your home. you will bruise your fists, bleed yourself for your revenge. "we will never forgive you, reiner. i will never forgive you!"
reiner's instincts kick in at your sixth hit, and his hand that was resting on your hip, keeping you in place, now comes up to catch your wrist, stopping your punches.
but you bring your other hand, backhanding him. "you ruined my life! you promised me you'd..." you mutter out, choking on your sobs, "why couldn't you just listen to me? i said you could come home! you didn't have to abandon me!"
your knuckle burns after the second impact, and you go back for a second shot when reiner lifts himself to sit up, making you shift back to sit in between the circle of his legs. your heels under the bump of his hips, you grasp the hand covering your wrist, trying to yank him away.
"y/n—"
"you left me."
"i didn't want to, y/n, i love you." he claims, and you watch as smoke covers the injuries you put upon him moments ago. it heals him.
"then why did you leave?" you gulp, swallowing the tears that were yet to come, "why didn't you choose me?"
he takes in a deep breath. his scruffy facial hair drew wet from his tears. his eyes are dark but brows are upturned as he stares at you. "i would've chosen you."
"but you didn't." you say, tight fists in his hands, "you still chose the home that threw you away..."
he can't explain why he did it. because he doesn't quite know. maybe it's because of how he was brought up, how he was sent so young to take down the enemy. but that isn't good enough.
"you can still come home with me." your voice sounds like as sweet honey, and he sees your gently link your fingers through his. your eyes are still red, but you look at him. that part of you that loves him is pulling through. "you don't have to leave again."
he holds your hand tighter. they've become rougher, callouses cover your palms. he sighs out, "if i go back to marley, then we can't be together." his warm hands catch yours, desiring your touch. he longs for your hold. your heart sinks. "but if i never return, i turn on my family and my country. they're... they mean the most to me..."
"the family who sent you off to war at such a young age to simply dispose of the ridicule they face? the country who forced you to infiltrate my home while you were barely a teenager?" you scowl, standing up and peeling your hands out if his. he drops his hands onto my lap, watching you take a step away from him. "they mean more to you, than i do?"
he takes a deep breath, and lets it out. silence follows, drawing on more and more. he won't answer you.
"you said you'd choose me if you could. you can, right now." you say, staring down st him, "but you aren't, reiner... you... you still won't choose me."
"i'm sorry."
"that's not good enough." you respond, wiping your face, "i'm sorry, but if you don't come back with me, then i'm sending my unit after you."
"stay a little longer. please." he pleads, standing up again.
"i can't." you respond, walking back towards the forest, "listen to me, reiner. come home and i'll make sure we sort everything out." eren wants to kill him. levi wants revenge. mikasa is willing to do anything to protect her family. you could try, though. you glare back at him. "but you'll give me no choice if you go back. i'll make sure to be the one to end you if you continue being our enemy."
reiner drops his shoulders. all the tension fills the air between your gazes. his heart swells at your words, and your hard gaze turning gentle.
"i'm sorry, reiner." you murmur, turning your head and looking at the grass beneath you. the moonlight sets your path home ablaze.
he smiles softly at you. "it's okay. i wouldn't want it to be anybody but you." he tells you, "i still love you."
your eyes train on the floor as your shove your hands in your pocket. a heavy breath leaves you, "i promise i'll spend the last moments of your life with you."
when you leave, reiner feels better. he shouldn't, you rejected him and refused to stay any longer at his side. you said you would send people after him, you'd kill him. but he feels better.
he wonders how long it'll last this time.
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banjopolishh · 1 month ago
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AHHH I just found your blog and oml I'm blessed- your writing's incredible!! 😭💕💕💕
If you're still taking Fiddauthor rq's, I'm thinking of like..ANYTHING involving those two getting high (Fidd 100% got high in college and I don't see enough fics about it!!)
Maybe both of them 🍃 and yknow how sometimes you zone out and just do a repetitive movement? (For example I run my fingers along my arm just for the sensation, and I forget I do it half the time, it's just subconscious)
So imagine Ford just like...dry humping Fidds like that- He's rambling on about whatever, and just absentmindedly rubs himself against Fidds. I dunno, just a thought that came to mind 🤭
Anywayssss love your writing, thank you for feeding all of us ~☆
this won’t be written super put together .. it’ll be a tad messy since i myself am high!!! >0<
————-
“Hahahaha! Ohhhhh my god, Fidds. You’re crazy!” Stanford burst into laughter. His college roommate; and crush, Fiddleford, was hitting 3 joints at the same.
“MMMMM!!!” Fidds’ mouth was filled with smoke; he breathed it in quickly and blew it back out. A huge mushroom cloud hit Ford’s face.
“WOW! Fiddleford, you’re so good at this! How’d you take in so much?” Stanford was impressed by Fiddleford’s ability to intake so much weed, his eyes were incredibly red afterwords.
“I just..do it! It’s taken some practice, but yer gonna be a natural if ya stay with me!” Fidds laughed; passing one of the joints to the handsome brunette across from him.
“God.. you’re going to kill me, Fidds” Ford took the joint from the man he so desired. He took a big hit - sort of trying to impress Fiddleford. The smoke he blew out was thick.
“Look at ya go, Stanford! You did amazin’..” Fidds’ was genuinely impressed , then, Ford started coughing hard.
“OHMYGOD. part of me thought i was going to die, is that normal?” Fiddleford laughed at Ford’s inquiry, he thought it was cute.
“Yes, yes! Very. You’ve got virgin lungs!!” Ford rolled his eyes and took another quick puff, making it a point to not cough this time.
“God.. im definitely.. starting to feel something.” Immediately Fidds knew Stanford was high; you could see it in his puffy red eyes! Could this man get any cuter?
Ford began inching closer to Fiddleford’s face, causing him to blush and look away.
“What’re you doin’, silly..” Fiddleford felt extremely vulnerable , he was high as a kite. Ford was on his way there as well.
“Did you know, I find you extremely attractive? I also find your wit to be very enticing. I’m surprised you don’t have a girlfriend, Fidds.”Stanford kept inching closer to Fidds’ face, eyeing him down as if he were the last human on earth.
“What? Stanford…I don’t want a girlfriend. It’s just.. not my thing?” The young mechanic’s face was tomato red, and he was fidgeting with a button on his shirt.
“Then.. what is your thing?” Ford was intrigued, he wanted to know every single thing Fidds desired. Stanford wanted to be one of those things.
“You.” Is all Fidds could get out, his mouth moving faster than his mind. God, he felt crazy even admitting this to Ford. What if he got rejected, or worse?
All his worries melted away when Stanford grabbed his face, and kissed him. It was a passionate kiss; one filled with love and warmth. A genuine kiss.
“Mm..” Fiddleford kissed back, absorbing every bit of the man in front of him. He felt like he was on cloud nine. Suddenly, Ford pulled away for air.
“Do.. Do you want to be my boyfriend? I know that sounds childish, but I truly-“ Fidds pulled him back into the kiss, a nonverbal way of saying; “Of course, idiot.”
Their kiss became more passionate, Ford was going mad. He crawled onto Fiddleford and began slowly grinding on him. Rubbing their clothed dicks together.
“God.. I remember when I first saw you, you were crying.. ready to go home.” He began grinding harder - almost as if he didn’t realize.
“You’re so pretty, Fidds.. I knew when I saw you, you had to be mine. You’re just so smart.. you figured out the universe is a hologram? Come on, you’ve got such an amazing mind.” Fiddleford’s eyes fluttered - this felt so fucking good.. and the praising? He could cum right now.
“Ford..you’re so.. ah..so, so, sweet. Thank you for believin’ in me, I’ve always - fuck - felt so alone..” the friction in their pants was making them both so close.
“Ha.. Fiddleford, never, ever, let anyone treat you like you’re nothing. You’re everything, everything to me.” Ford thrusted harder, chasing his release.
“Fuck! Ford.. ford.. im- im going to.” Fiddleford felt himself release into his pants, the weed making it all the more easy to cum.
“Metoometoofuck.. Mmmm!” Cum began dripping down Ford’s legs, his shorts not holding much.
The two sighed, Ford wrapped Fidds up in a tight hug, both of their legs shaking in pleasure.
——-
i got so tired I couldn’t write a good ending .. so here’s that!! they definitely cuddled and ate snacks though! and yes they stay boyfriends hehehehwagahahah
YYSM FOR THE REQUEST
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jamandjazz · 4 months ago
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The Curtis Brothers Getting Fear Gassed
Okay so for those not familiar with Batman fear gas/toxin is something one of the villains use that causes the victims to hallucinate their own worst fears becoming a reality. They can’t see it’s not real and you’re pretty much seeing/hearing/in some cases feeling your worst fears happen to you. Okay now that that’s out of the way here’s what I think would happen if it ever happened to them:
Darry:
I think if Darry was hit with fear gas he’d see Soda and Pony just absolutely HURT yknow? He’d see them far away, bleeding out, crying for someone to help them but he wouldn’t be able to move. He wouldn’t be able to reach them no matter how hard he tries, which he is. He is trying! But they keep asking why he won’t help them, why he’s just watching them, and he can’t do anything but watch. Then it would change and suddenly he’s in front of four graves instead of the usual two. And he can hear everyone around him ask why he didn’t save them. Why he didn’t keep them safe. Telling him that he failed. That it’s no wonder they died because look at how much of a mess he is. He can’t even keep himself together obviously he wouldn’t be able to hold what was left of their family together either.
And the whole time the gang is trying to stop him from just running, having to listen to the strongest person they know break down sobbing calling out for his brothers. Begging them to just wait for him. But they’re right there! They’re right there and they just need to calm him down so he can be still enough that they can stick the antidote in him!
Sodapop:
I think Soda would have to watch everyone he loves leaving him. They aren’t hurt, they aren’t even mad, in fact they’re perfectly fine! They’re just done with him. This is a choice they’re making deliberately, this isn’t one of them leaving because they died which is completely out of their control, they’re choosing this! He has to listen to them all say he’s just too much of a hassle. That he’s just not worth staying for. That everyone knew they were gonna leave eventually. That he was just too clingy, too annoying. That nobody wanted to deal with him. They wouldn’t even turn back as he called for them, begged them to stay, to just give him another chance, that he’ll be better, he swears! He’ll be better if they just come back! But each one of them without fail will just keep walking. He’ll hear conversations between them about how much they just can’t stand him. He’ll hear Pony will say how he doesn’t know how he ever looked up to someone so pathetic. Steve wonder if he really thought they were friends. Everyone will be talking about how stupid he is, how he’s completely useless and no one with a brain would ever want to keep him around. And Soda won’t even get to chase after them and hold them and plead and cry because he can’t move. Oh my god he can’t move, he’s stuck, he’s stuck and no one will come save him because they all hate him.
And all everyone else hears is him sobbing and begging them to stay as they hold him down, mostly to make sure he doesn’t suddenly start thrashing but also because when he finally comes out of it he’ll know they’re there. That they aren’t going to leave and that they do love him.
Ponyboy:
Ponyboy would see the gang living their lives happily without him. He’d chase after them, as the image of them shot farther and farther away but he could never just catch up. He wasn’t fast enough. Wasn’t good enough. He’ll see them not even realize he was gone, like he never existed. Darry will seem happier, less angry and stressed like not having Pony to worry about made all the difference in his life. He’ll see Sodapop happily talking to Steve, without him in the way. Without making him worry because that’s what he did to Sodapop. But he didn’t mean to! He didn’t mean to have nightmares so bad he woke the house up with them, he didn’t mean to make Sodapop move rooms because he was too much of a baby to handle sleeping on his own! He didn’t mean to make everything about him! That wasn’t what he was trying to do, so why were they all so much happier without him?! Why was Johnny so much more confident without him around following him everywhere? Was he bothering him? Did he just not realize that Johnny didn’t talk around him because Pony made him uncomfortable? How come no one had noticed he was gone?! …was this how it would’ve been if he just never existed? Would everyone have been happier, less stressed? Would that be better, he’ll wonder as he slows down and stops chasing after them. Crying and mumbling that he was sorry. That he didn’t mean to be the reason no one could be happy.
And the gang will be out of breath as they finally catch up to him, they’ll have been worrying that he’d run into a busy street because he just didn’t know what was going on but thank god because he finally stopped. They’ll have to listen to him apologize over and over for ruining their lives, wondering what he meant by that because he didn’t do anything!
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deathnguts · 4 months ago
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Regulus and rabastan understand each other better than anyone else and that is both wonderful and awful for both of them.
Regulus can only cry around Rabastan. Like truly cry with more than two tears and real sobbing and whimpering out his emotions through babbles and sniffles rather than stealing himself even more and rushing away from the situation as fast as possible. Being around rabastan makes the smaller parts of himself, the parts he’s ashamed of -the little girl who used to cry at every turn- feel… ok. When it’s just the two of them he doesn’t scramble to hide that part if himself the way he naturally does around everyone else. Because even his closest friends are only allowed past a certain point of his walls. Rabastan has been around and encouraging about letting himself be human and waver from his families expectations since the beginning. It’s hard not to give into the beckoning to let it all go when it’s safe ti do so around him.
Rabastan is really only his true self around regulus. Or, the better half of his true self. The kinder, softer half. He never learned to be generous with showing it to others because well he’s a pure blood too. His twin brother was never his best friend the way regulus and Sirius used to be. Rodolphus has always been the perfect heir and Rabastan always wasn’t. He was either pointedly ignored or scolded and scoffed at with eye roll and wave at every turn. He learned ti feel a natural sort of anger and annoyance around others and didn’t learn to hold it back. He’s angry at the world and it’s everyone’s problem. He drinks, he talks shit, he lounges about and lets himself look disheveled in public, he’s just the picture of the family fuck up and he hates it. But he’s not around regulus. He’d always felt softer towards him, albeit for fluctuating reasons through the years. Like @florsial said in one of their posts I think he had a very ‘blind leading te blind’ relationship with him when they (really just regulus honestly) were young. Like he hated the family, but he wanted to ‘save’ regulus. And he kinda did, providing a safe space most if them never have and harvesting a genuine love there.
But the problem is, they’re both very jaded people. They’re both bitter and angry and can only provide so much comfort for such an amount of time. They love each other and unexplainable amount and they never doubt that, but it’s hard to be around each other when it’s not easy, yknow? Like when one of them is in the bitter mood, they can work it out and help the other. When neither is, that’s great! They bask in what they have and it’s wonderful. But when they’re both in an awful mood? Clear the area, there’s about to be an explosion.
When they fight, regulus gets mean. He’s used to not being able to actually participate in fights, it’s always his parents scolding at him, Sirius degrading at him, it’s never a debate or a conversation it’s always just him lying there and taking it. So when he fights someone he feels safe with, he jumps to get his word in. He can be cruel, he says things he doesn’t mean just because he wants ti get a rise. And he does, it hurts rabastan beyond a way he can describe to hear these things. It feels like he personally failed in saving regulus and he’s just another Black.
So when they fight, rabastan runs away. He leaves and he gets drunk and he stays with whoever will begrudgingly take him in for a few days. He doesn’t want to see regulus that way, he wants to forget he did. He wants ti forgive forget. He wants to wait it out and come back when it’s easy again. Because he loves regulus, but he will not be scoffed and scolded by him like everyone else. It makes him mad and he doesn’t want to do something he’ll regret.
And regulus hates it because above all else, he doesn’t want to get left behind again. That’s part of why he fights like he does, he wants to know if he pushes it too far if rabastan will still come back after. He wants to be seen as the person and sometimes ‘monster’ he is but not left alone again. He can’t be alone again. He’ll do anything to not be alone again. So that leads to a lot of their fights ‘ending’ in an even bigger fight where now it’s Rabastan yelling and regulus begging him to stay and standing in his way of doors and eventually they fuck it out with pulling hair and biting words and teeth and when regulus wakes up in their bed, rabastan left anyway. He gets mad and it stews until Rabastan comes back and they both pretend nothing happened, no matter how serious the fight was, because above all else, they just want to love one another. They love each other so much and it only takes a few days of angry separation for them to remember that literally nothing in the world could matter enough to keep them apart forever.
Everything else in the world makes them angry. Everyone else in the world is locked away from deserving forgiveness. But not them. Never them. They can kiss each others wounds, even if sometimes they’re the ones who put them there. They can come home after a fight that almost ended in the killing each other and hold one another close and sway ti a song on the record player like they’ve never fought before.
They love each other. That’s all that actually matters.
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