#( i've got a big speech coming up on wednesday! )

[foster-the-world]

Baby boy loves to play the animal guessing game in the car. Everyone asks the person who picked an animal questions about the animal until you guess what it is. Baby boy cannot contain his excitement and always immediately tells us what animal. I'll say is it big or small? He'll answer small. Then scream out the answer and say "I won, I won. You didn't guess"

When guessing our animals its always very specific animals he learned about from Wild Kratts or Creature cases. No, I was not thinking of the Hawk billed turtle, the American flying squirrel or the snowshoe hare. It cracks us up everytime.

I'm thinking we don't love Bee's teachers this year. Just a few things I've heard that I've been unimpressed with. It was bound to happen one year or another. Trying not to worry about it. She's not the type to care much. She's in school to hang with her friends. She does not give two shits about impressing any teacher. Lord help us if Rebel ever doesn't like her teachers. That child can hold a grudge. Bee's a tough/smart girls. She can handle one year without the perfect teacher's we've become accustom to.

I signed up for the Met's playoff game with my husband. It was pricey but thought it would be a fun date night. He told me afterwards he also got my in-laws tickets. Obviously, I didn't say anything to him but no way I would have paid so much money (and the cost of a sitter) to hang out with my in-laws. My MIL loves the Met's. I'm quite happy we are treating them to a game but I would have stayed home with the kids. Spending time with them is fine but its never my idea of an exciting/relaxing time. Also, didn't realize the game is at 8pm. Its going to be cold. My MIL cannot handle cold. I think she is going to be miserable. It does annoy me that no one will acknowledge what she can't do/enjoy anymore. The whole family is in denial about her dementia/memory loss. Part of the reason I love baseball games is the nachos. They won't say anything verbally but they will def judge my unhealthy, expensive food choice. They are bringing home made sandwiches. Anyway, it makes me kind of jerk but that's why I'm writing it here instead of saying it to my husband. He happily spends time with my parents without complaints - who have their own issues. So I'll do the same.

It doesn't help that we are hosting their parent and their parents friends on Wednesday night. Apparently these people really want to see the kids. We've met them various times. Very nice people but the husband is socially unaware of when to stop talking. No one else will get a word in edgewise. At my own wedding dress rehearsal party he would not stop telling me some unimportant story - even when he knew the entire party was waiting for me come over for official speeches. I don't like doing things on weeknights but at least it gives us an out. On a weekend these people are the type to never leave. We told them the kids are in bed by 7:30pm. They will stay longer but at least I can sneak off to put the kids in bed. Anyway, two nights of obligations makes me very tired to even think about.

[hyperactive-cowboy]

So that's the second chapter of the landoscar christmas series, I have literally no idea of how to make a link between this chapter and the first one, so if you want to read it then you'll have to search it yourself, but it is my last post so no big problem. You have probably realized it, but I got inspired to write this story by "All I want for Christmas", so the titles of the chapters are part of the lyrics. As always if you have suggestions or there are issues with the story don't be shy kidsss. Oh and if someone can tell me how to make the link I'd be grateful for my life. ENJOYYYY

Make my wish come true

Warnings: like one curse word at the start and one at the end (I don't even know if those are considered curse words), the littlest angst and fluff. Some words are translated with google because english is not my first lenguage. It's not beta read because I don't have the energy to do it right now as I had planned on finishing the series in 2023 but here I am.

Ship: F1 involved!Lando Norris × not F1 involved!Oscar Piastri (established relationship)

Wc: 3.3k

Chapter 1, 2, 3

Summary: Max and Logan help Lando in his little gremlin plan to propose to Oscar during their christmas party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Max's phone rang in the exact moment his dream was at its climax, waking him up without letting him know the finale of it.

Max looked at who was calling at such an hour in the morning.

It was Lando. Then probably it wasn't important.

Max deactivated the sound and left the vibration on, trying to fall asleep again just to see the end of his dream, but the buzzing wouldn't stop.

With a mix of frustration and malcontent for his not-well-started Wednesday morning, Max took the phone and answered his best friend.

"What do you want" he asked abruptly

"'Morning sunshine, I also miss my best friend so much" Lando answered sarcastically and Max could perfectly picture in his head the wide tooth-gaped smile his best friend almost certainly had on his face. 

"It's not a good morning when it starts like this" Max returned. 

Lando, on the other hand, laughed at his friend's distress. Max knew that, sooner or later, he would've killed his best friend.

"Anyways, I'm sorry for your pain, but I've just got an idea" it surely wasn't a good start. Every time Lando said stuff like that, it didn't end well.

"Oh god"

"I want to propose to Oscar"

"OH GOD" 

Suddenly Max was sitting on the bed, totally awake and vigile.

He didn't know what to say. Well actually there were too many things he wanted to say but couldn't choose which one to say first. Between the "when?" The"where?" and the "Why?"s. 

Instead, his mouth (apparently not connected with his brain) deliberately and on its own expressed all his emotions at once.

"What the fuck"

"Yep it was pretty explanatory" 

Neither of them knew how to behave. Obviously some people they both knew have got married before, but neither Lando nor Max have ever experienced a crazy idea like that. 

"So… when?" The moment Max started to metabolize the news, he also began to like it in some weird way. 

He knew the two have been together for some time and (at least for Lando) have also been pining over each other for even longer, so it was logical that one of them would've done the big step in a short time.

"Okay, well, that's my plan…" 

Lando started to explain The Big Plan to his best friend, who was more excited every new sentence he heard. 

Max had known him for so many years and has always thought of him as more immature and childish than other people their age, but he was sure Lando would've made the perfect husband to Oscar.

This train of thoughts continued and extended in every direction that included memories of Lando, the emotions took over him and made his eyes water a bit. But thinking about it, those words were good, he should've taken notes for his best man's speech.

"Let's recap it from the start once again" Max read on his phone. It was at least the 25th time Lando had asked him to repeat The Plan. He was sure he could've acted even other people's parts in the show. 

"Dear god I only have to say yes when he asks me about the party" Max texted back.

"It's not difficult" then he added just to emphasize the pointlessness of Lando's worries.

"Don't you dare make fun of me I'm just anxious, it's normal I guess" Lando's answer arrived in no time

Max smiled to himself shaking his head. Some things never change, he thought while unfolding all the memories with his best friend and rewatching every time Lando acted anxious. There were a few.

"If your calculus are right, he's calling me in ten minutes, so maybe I should get ready to answer him?" Max asked, trying to find an excuse to not leave his friend on seen in this particular situation.

Lando texted just a "yeah you're right" and then left the chat.

Max sighed and closed his phone, just to get his hands on his face and rub his eyes.

"Hey Osc, long time no see" is the sentence Max and Lando have accorded for him to say, and he did it spectacularly. As if he hasn't repeated it for the past twenty minutes without a single stop.

"Yeah it has been a tough period. We were planning a christmas party at our place on wednesday, are you in?" Oscar asked him.

"But isn't Lando away?" He was trying really, really hard not to abruptly laugh and scream at Oscar's ear.

"Yeah, in fact we wanted to do this thing together, but then he was called away and we can't postpone it anymore" Max thought he sounded a little exasperated.

He felt his lungs expand and contract without an order, his cheeks had become red and swollen, in his eyes there were tears for holding it back, but then he couldn't take it anymore. 

Max let out a soft giggle, but that giggle meant to him like the most powerful and exorbitant laughter he had ever had, mostly because he felt (he could literally touch it) the importance of his position in there.

"Yeah I think I'll be there" 

"K, thanks mate" Oscar sounded pretty hesitant with his answer. "And you can come with who you want" he then added.

"Great, thanks. Bye" Max hung up just right before exploding in what he thought was one of the biggest laughs of his life.

He didn't know the cause of this, but that situation was so funny to him. Maybe it was just the stress. Most probably it was just the stress. But why should he be stressed? It wasn't even his proposal. What would have happened when it was HIS time to take the big step? Max didn't even want to think about it for a minute.

He jumped back to reality and immediately opened his and Lando's chat to update him.

Max rang the doorbell of his best friend's house and waited for his best friend's boyfriend (and next-to-be fiance) to open the door.

"Never saw you awake this early" 

Oh right! Oscar's humor was something he could never forget about.

"I'm happy to see you too" Max stated with the biggest smile stamped on his face. He patted the boy's shoulders with both his hands and looked him down, trying to imagine the guy with a different surname (something like Norris) and a different look (a smoking might be ideal, and maybe a golden ring on that finger could be even better).

"Yeah" Oscar mouthed with a raised eyebrow and a confused expression.

 Max entered the house without needing a welcome. He treated it like it was his, he didn't care if the actual owner was okay with it. At least he could say the same happened every time Lando and Oscar were at his place.

"What are you doing here?" 

If there was another person in the room, they could've heard three voices ask the same question at the same time.

"No no no. I asked you first" Logan yelled at Max getting up pretty fast from the couch he was previously lying on.

"Well yes man, but really why are YOU here" he repeated.

"I'm here to help Oscar. And you?"

"I'm too" 

Max and Logan looked at each other with a slightly confused stare, narrowing their gazes and tilting their head to one side or the other.

Oscar cleared his voice behind them and just then he realized he couldn't tell Logan what he was about to. ("Well, actually I'm here to help Lando" would've been his response).

"Max, can I ask you to get away from my home? I already have enough help" The youngest boy looked exhausted. It must be tiring to project an event like this almost alone and with his boyfriend hundred of miles away from him. 

He could not understand, but he surely could pity him.

"I'm very sorry Oscar, but I'm not leaving this house until tonight" 

"Okay then" he looked more exasperated every sentence. 

"Don't worry. This will be the best party you've ever been to" 

"Do I have to remind you this is MY house? Maybe I should be the one preparing it" Oscar pointed out almost ironically.

"We will be better than you, trust me" Logan, who has been silent the entirety of the time, had stepped in the conversation to support him, and Max couldn't be more grateful.

With all due care, Oscar left his house in his friend's hands and headed to work. 

Max and Logan had only six hours and a half to transform that house into a HOUSE.

"So why are you here really?" Logan broke the silence, leaning on the shopping cart as he pushed it.

The two were at the mall searching for cute items and classic christmas stuff to hang here and there in the house to make it look more comfortable.

They have given themselves a specific and perfectly timed list to follow religiously: the times were calculated per second and the both of them had certain works to complete.

"Lando wants to propose Oscar tonight" Max let out.

"LANDO WANTS TO WHAT?'' Logan cried out in the middle of the cheese island, standing up like he was electrocuted and launching three slices of gruyere into the cart.

"SHHH why are you screaming?" Max whisper-yelled at him.

"Oh ya know? It's just my best friend getting married to yours, why aren't YOU screaming?" Logan replied in the same voice tone.

"I've already had my screaming session a week ago" he explained.

Max looked at his clock and calculated there were two minutes of delay in their schedule.

Logan looked around himself in disbelief, pinching his own cheeks to make sure he was not living a dream. 

He looked at Max right in his eyes for the first time in their entire lives. 

"Then we have to make sure we do the best of it" Logan stated resolutely, speeding even more than before, driving his shopping cart like a formula 1 car.

"You go bake the cookies, I'll get the house aesthetically ready" 

Max nodded at his newfound friend and sprinted into the kitchen to prepare all the ingredients he needed.

Right after putting on his freshly-bought apron, his phone started vibrating.

Max boringly looked at the screen and would've even hung up, but noticing Lando's nickname on it, he thought it was preferible answering, after all that work.

He accepted the call and put on the speaker while calling Logan to make him participate at the "meeting".

"Everything's okay?" Lando's altered voice sounded more worried than Max had ever heard him.

He took a moment to appreciate the fact that his best friend was giving this plan all his soul. You could know how much he cared about Oscar (or generally about his loved ones, even if he didn't show it that much) just by hearing his preoccupied voice.

"Yep, we're almost ready" Logan answered, just as joyful as Max.

"Wait, who was that?"

"It's Logan. I know everything and I couldn't agree more with you on this decision" his face was stamped with a smile from ear to ear and his eyes shone brighter than the stars.

"Oh hey Log sorry, didn't know you were there too. Does he suspect anything?"

"There is absolutely no way he could. We were silent as a grave" Max answered, almost kicking his feet like a schoolgirl.

"Well then-" Lando's sentence start was interrupted by a not a little hasty Max, who was sure he was about to scream.

"Now that you have secured yours and our wellbeing, can we finish our work? We have a pretty full agenda to follow" 

"Oh okay then, I'm halfway there anyways" 

"Yeah yeah, you know where I keep my second set of keys" and without another word, he hung up the phone just as fast as they both came back to their respective jobs in the house.

"Hey that chocolate dough looks fantastic" Logan laughed entering the kitchen, looking at a totally covered in chocolate dough Max.

"Where? I thought I cleaned everything" Max responded. 

Logan sighed and continued his laugh, then threw a clean kitchen towel at him, telling him where he was still dirty while taking a seat to taste what they had prepared during the evening.

"It's not that bad" he exclaimed, chewing the biggest bite of cheese and ham toast Max had ever seen.

Logan raised the volume of his phone when he heard the first bits of  "Last Christmas" were playing.

By then, the trust between the two was near to the one in a years-long friendship, after all those hours spent together and a common goal in mind. For this sole reason, Logan felt confident enough to start singing his favorite Christmas song.

Max turned around with a shocked look. Not because Logan's singing skills were terrible, well not only because of this, but because he didn't think Logan was one to start singing around what was a stranger until a few hours before. 

And again his emotions changed, his heart melting a little. Logan singing like this in front of him meant that he trusted him enough to show him his silly side.

Max decided to match his energy and start wiggling his hips and dancing a little around the room.

The two were so lost in the moment they couldn't hear the owner of the house entering firstly the place, and then the kitchen.

"What in the world you two?" Oscar looked totally agape.

 Max and Logan fastly looked at each other and the american jumped between his best friend and his new one to try protecting him from any crazy action the Aussie could have done.

Max and Logan both knew Oscar wasn't one for physical contact, (everybody around him knew it) and because of it they were used to him never touching them. This was why, when they saw him coming this close so fastly, they were scared Oscar was about to stab one or both of them with a random pointy ornament found in the home.

It must've been a particularly shocking period for Max.

First Lando's announcement, then Logan's new friendship, and now a hug from Oscar.

"Thank you for everything" Max and Logan heard Oscar's muffled voice buried in their clothes and both moved a little because of the little gesture.

"That's no problem mate, really" Max assured him.

"C'mon now, there's people arriving here to party" Logan tried to lighten up the mood, receiving the tiniest and cutest laugh from Oscar.

"I don't think it's the worst idea you've had until now" Max whisper-screamed at his phone in his best friend's kitchen while everybody else, including Oscar, in the living room was living their best life.

It was at least the fourth phrase he had heard from Lando about what he thought could be the best starter of his proposal-speech.

"Well, at least not the weirdest" he continued.

"Ehy!" Lando laughed at him, but still his stress wasn't relieved, not even a bit.

Max, for the fiftieth time, didn't know how to act.

Like, what did he have to say? Something funny to let the pressure decrease? Or something meaningful to be That One friend for once?

He decided that saying nothing was the best option. For both, him and his friend. He was, actually, not a hundred percent sure about it, but on the spot he failed to think about anything better.

"I think it's better if I go now" Max admitted after a few moments of silence.

He received a "yeah" as an answer and immediately hung up.

Max was totally sure there were more mature things to do than he, seconds after, did. But, unfortunately, less mature things are usually the more spontaneous ones.

This is why, when his phone turned on again, seeing the new message from Lando and texted him back, the only natural thing to do that came to his mind was to start jumping and giggling, just like a schoolgirl.

He got only one thing not calculated in his mind: the fact that Oscar might be keen on entering his own kitchen for whatever reason. 

So when he turned around to face the exit, he found there on the door an astonished Oscar staring at him.

Max couldn't tell what was open wider: Oscar's eyes or his mouth.

Anyway, he had to think about a not-too-much- suspicious reaction on the spot. And surely he had never been good at thinking on the spot.

That's the reason why the first thing Max did was rebuking him, closing the door on his face.

Just a single moment after he thought that maybe his actions were more suspicious than anything else he could have done. 

With a worried expression folding his eyebrows, Max took his phone from the marble table's surface again and fastly texted to his friend he might have done something wrong.

"I'm here"

This was the message he had been waiting for the entire time, but now that Lando had sent it to him, Max was starting to get agitated again, knowing exactly what it meant.

"Is everything ready?" Was the following text he received, to which he answered with a "gimme 5 mins" 

The only three things he had to do were: inform Logan, inform every other guest and prepare Oscar.

The guests heard the news with surprise and loving eyes, while Logan started to sweat a bit.

Last point on his list was to take Oscar in front of the entrance and then his work would be done perfectly. 

But where the hell was Oscar? He had asked Liam, Max (the other one) and even Niran, but they knew less than him. So he searched in every room of the house, even the bathroom, but when he had knocked on the bathroom door, Logan's voice had answered him.

Max asked his and Lando's long time friend to text the next-to-be fiance and tell him to wait.

He tried to think about what could have happened: Lando would have rang the doorbell and Max would've opened the door instead of Oscar and Lando would've found his best friend instead of the love of his life in front of him (already on one knee and with the ring box open and about to repeat the speech he had been talking about for weeks) and then Lando would've asked him "what the hell?" and then he should have answered him with something like "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but we have lost your future husband, we apologize for the unease" and what could've been Lando's reaction to it all?

Max's morbius thoughts were taking such a part of his brain, he didn't realize Logan had taken Oscar all the way in the living room, just right before entering the entrance.

When Max turned around and saw him, immediately looked at his friend Niran, winking at him as a way to give him the signal for Lando to ring.

All the guests were ready with their phones in their hands, faking sending and receiving messages or searching for something on google. Actually they were all about to flash the lights of their phones to make the atmosphere, using the devices just like in the 70s they used lighters.

Except for Charles: he was the one in charge of recording the video, in fact he had the best position of sight.

Max got out of the kitchen as the doorbell rang and Oscar (in a new outfit) rushed to open the door.

"My guest must've arrived" he announced looking at the young Aussie.

From his point of view, Max couldn't properly see all the scene, so he moved through the tangle of guests to crouch down one step away from Charles.

From there, Max could see everything perfectly: Oscar's (flabbergasted, he might add) expression, the fabulous ring, and most importantly his kneeling best friend and the biggest smile he had ever seen on his face.

[writteninthesewalls28]

Family

A story about a girl wanting to find out the truth

A/n: Chapter eleven already… @niallermybabe this is the new one btw!

Warnings: curse words, mentions of death

Milly’s POV:

"Did Louis call yet?" Calum asked me, standing in our kitchen, preparing the pancakes. I shook my head.

My brother had been released out of the hospital, the next day after our rather unexpected and turbulent arrival. We left two days later and now have been back in Adelaide for about two weeks. And- well. Our apology had been very emotional for both sides.

(Flashback, the day after Milly and Calum arrived in London)

"Louis, darling. I'm just gonna grab a coffee, gonna be back in a few minutes." Harry said, shooting a glance at Calum who also stood up from his chair in the hospital and said: "Yeah, I'm gonna join. Do you want something too?" Looking at me, but I only shook my head.

I still had a pounding headache from my panic attack yesterday night. Everything would help, but certainly no caffeine. Speaking from experience.

As soon as the two men left the room, I was left in silence with my big brother. There was so much to talk about, but no one was brave enough to take the first step and start talking. After the longest 2 minutes of my whole life, I finally figured, he wouldn’t say anything.

"Lou, look. I’m sorry, so sorry.“ I took a deep breath, didn’t really thought it would be so hard to say sorry to a person you grew up with. Me and Louis normally always had a really good relationship, I never would have guessed one single thing could turn it upside down. "I know you deserved better, I should’ve checked my phone and give you and Calum more information." Half way through my 'speech' I started tearing up. I truly was sorry and just wanted to fix this. I could no longer live with this broken relationship, I needed my big bro again. But I wasn’t brave enough to say that to him.

"I also owe you an apology." He finally said. I sighed in relieve.

I slowly walked towards his hospital bed and kneeled down to the floor to look at him.

Tears were shining in his eyes too.

"I shouldn’t have gotten so angry and said all these mean things to you. I just-" His voice cracked and he let out a shaky breath. "I care about you. I want to protect you. For me, you are still the little girl, building sand castles and asking me to help." I didn’t notice the tears on my cheeks, till Louis slowly wiped them away. He chuckled and continued talking. "I sometimes forget you are all grown up. And how grown up you are. I never thought, you'd turn into such a beautiful, strong and amazing woman, Milly."

This, this is my brother. How I always will remember him.

"Thank you Louis. Thank you for giving me the chance to fix this. Just remember that I am very sorry for what happened. Next time, I'll be more careful. I won’t make you worry so much again. Promise." I stood up and hugged him. Louis gave the best hugs. I saw so many posts from fans about his hugs, but to really get them, you have to experience yourself.

His hugs always make you feel so comfortable and calm. That’s what I miss the most when I'm back in Australia and not with him.

"Gonna miss you." He said while hugging me.

"Yeah, me too. Australia is too far away from home."

My brother and I agreed on calling each other once a week to stay in contact and don’t let anything come between us again. However, he mostly forgot about these calls and wasn’t home on Wednesdays. It was just a quite annoying new bad habit of my silly big bro. But honestly, I didn’t even care in the slightest. As long as us two have a fixed relationship again, I am happier than ever.

Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my left shoulder. Calum. He put down the big plate with 3 steaming pancakes down right in front of me on the table. I realized, I've been pressing my chin onto the edge my cup filled with tea for the past few minutes and now my front hair got wet from the hot steam exiting the Harry-Potter themed mug. I quickly put it down and gave Calum a little smile. I knew that both him and Niall knew how exhausting these past few days have been for me. Mentally and physically I felt just empty. Like the energy to search for my parents never even existed. I desperately wanted to continue, but right now it just didn’t seem like I actually could.

"Mills, have you thought about what you want to do for your birthday this year?" Calum asked after sitting down on the chair next to me, slowly taking a sip out of his coffee cup (we had enough arguments about the issue that coffee is just disgusting but he wouldn’t believe me, so I decided to ignore it).

"Oh… I totally forgot about that one…" My 26th birthday, on 20th of October, was only about one week away, but with all the stress over the last days I completely forgot (or ignored, who knows..) about it. What would I want to do on my birthday though?

When I was a child, my mom always gave us the opportunity to decide on an activity we could do with the whole family. I very clearly remember my 10th birthday where we went horse back riding. The little brown horse that I sat on did not want to go forward, no matter what I would do. And I, I just started crying. Out of nowhere, the horse ran away and I fell off and broke my arm. The only birthday I ever spent in the hospital.

Mom didn’t let us siblings pick any other physical sport activities for the next 3 years, much to the disappointment of Louis, a very talented football player at the time, who loved making fun of Lottie when she didn’t make a goal again.

The first few birthdays after moms passing, the siblings spent together, mostly crying in each other’s arms. Then, everyone slowly started living their own life. Louis was busy with writing songs and being a Judge at the X-Factor. I moved to Adelaide to be close to Calum and to live with him.

I would never admit it, but me and Louis held the Tomlinson-sibling-team together. After the death, Lottie, the actual older sister, simply couldn’t. So I took her part. And when it was us two, Louis and me, leaving forever, we all knew the relationship between us 7 siblings would never be the same again. Too much happened, there suddenly were too many kilometers between us.

Hence, how would I possibly want to spent this next birthday?

"Milly, are you still on earth, or did you get lost in space again?" Calum asked with a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah, yeah. I’m still here, just did a quick trip to the past again." Calum helped me a lot during the first few months after mom’s death and had to deal with a very depressive girlfriend, who either didn’t want to even get out of bed in the morning or lost herself in her work, so she could ignore the pain. I was so grateful for him, and that he never even thought about leaving me. So he obviously knew that I would sometimes get lost in the past, but he also knew how to get me on the right track again.

"I got a little idea for your birthday." He quietly said.

"Ohhh, please tell me!" I said, rather relieved, maybe it could still be a good day after all.

"Since Niall is staying a little longer, how about we throw a little garden party with Niall and Luke, Mikey and Ash? Some other people if you want to—"

I interrupted him with a sudden hug. "Yes! You are the best." I whispered in his ear. A garden party with the people closest to me made me feel comfortable and safe. That could actually work and turn this day into something nice.

But first, I deep down knew I had to go and do something different before this little party.

Calum’s POV:

You guessed it. She left him again. Well- not left left him, but she made her way to the other part of Adelaide, to the neighborhood where her parents lived before they moved away. At least that’s what she believes. Calum, however, knew the truth. The house is empty because her father died and her mom, pregnant with Milly, moved away.

When Milly announced her plans for this day last night while watching the second Kissing Booth movie (yes, they fell in love with the trilogy), he turned quite anxious. What if she finds out and cannot live with the truth, what if she falls into the deep hole again, the same hole when her mom died? He wasn’t sure if he would be able to get her out of it once again, after all that they went through together. Both of them weren’t the strongest anymore. But, right now, he couldn’t change anything anyways, so he grabbed his guitar and waited for his bandmates who announced to visit him today so they could decide on the final songs for the new album.

Right in that moment the doorbell rang.

That has to be Luke, he’s the only one who’s always too early. Quite an annoying habit if you ask Calum.

"Hey mate!" A smiling Luke said when Calum made his way to the front door and opened it. "Good to see you!"

The exchanged a quick hug and then decided to already go to the music room and wait for the other two men.

"So…is Milly here today?" Luke whispered. At first Calum reacted rather irritated. Why would he ask that? But he quickly realized, what it was for.

"No she actually had to leave today, it was very urgent." After this little- situation, where he told the three boys about Milly’s plans, he never mentioned it again. And to be honest, he didn’t really want to talk about it with them in the first place. It was something, Milly should decide on whether the band should know about it. So, since then, he always made up excuses why Milly wasn’t there.

Turns out they need lots of groceries and Milly even has to do something for work when she’s actually on vacation… he felt bad to lie to his bandmates like that, but this was the easiest way.

"Well, about her birthday present…" Luke said, but couldn’t finish the sentence because the two got interrupted by the doorbell.

Maybe they could continue this talk after the others left again. He really hoped so. Milly’s birthday present was something he had planned for almost 3 months now, if anything goes wrong, he'd be very mad and disappointed about it.

Calum and Luke greeted the two other men at the door together and quickly got back into his music room.

When he and Milly changed rooms a year ago, Calum really put all his effort into this room and tried giving it a personal touch. Milly’s old office was one of the biggest rooms on the second floor in the house, so he knew right at the beginning, he wanted to include a little sofa so he and the guys could sit down together and have a chat. He painted the walls in his favorite color, olive green, which really gave the room a cosy aesthetic. Of course there was lots of technical stuff in the room, taking up lots of space: computers, recording equipment, microphones.

But the most important part, the heart of the room, were the instruments. Calum had 3 bass guitars, 2 normal guitars and a small drums kit for Ashton in the room. Whenever Calum didn’t want to talk to anyone and just needed some time to think, he just sat down here, in this room, and hummed a melody while playing a quiet song on the guitar, it relaxed him in an admittedly strange way.

The two awards they got for Youngblood and Sounds good, feels good hanging on the wall, always reminded him, HOW lucky he got. To find these amazing three people, to tour with One Direction, to get this incredible fans, but most importantly to meet Milly, most likely the love of his life, the person he’s gonna grow old with.

"Okay, so. Let’s start easy, which songs should definitely be a single, which songs should have a video?" Ashton asked. Their manager informed them, all the songs were already recorded, they just needed to know which songs will be the final album and they need to find the right strategy to release the music.

"I think Old Me is the right choice for a music video." Micheal said into the silent room.

Calum nodded. "Yeah, Old Me kind of deserves it, doesn’t it?" He said. The song represents our story as a band and what we’ve been through. It’s very special to all of us.

„Yeah, you’re right.“ ,Micheal mentioned, "But I don’t think it'd be a good idea making it a single, it’s too- slow for that."

The day went on like this. Talking, deciding, arguing, mocking Luke. Till all three of them (finally) left and he didn’t get a chance to talk about Milly’s birthday present with Luke.

Great.

Milly’s POV:

I parked my car in the same spot that, even though I now visited it the third time, still feels so strange to me. The fact that I already got so far in the search and will probably find out even more today, made me happy on one side, but the other side of me just was scared of what I would possibly find out today. What if its too much for me to handle?

I made my way to a door, the same door I had stood in front of when Calum called me and told me Louis was in the hospital. It seemed so far away, even though it was just three weeks ago.

My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest when I reached out to the doorbell and rang it.

Then I waited.

And waited.

And then I heard steps in the house, walking towards the door.

When the door opened, I couldn’t see the person opening it, but heard a soft woman voice.

"Hello dear, can I help you?" She asked and opened the door further so I could finally see her. She was older, probably in her 70s or 80s, had short, grey hair and wore a thick pullover with white and dark blue stripes.

The warm smile on her face made me feel more relaxed.

"Well, I don’t know if you can help me, but… well.", I took a deep breath. What can possibly go wrong with being nice and asking?, "Do you know something about the last owners of this house?" I asked, hoping for a 'yes'.

The warm smile on the woman’s face slowly faded and turned into a confused and curious look. Oh no. Of course she didn’t knew them, could’ve been too easy.

"Well, why are you asking?" Wait, maybe she still met them.

"Long story…" I said, waiting for her to say whether she has enough time to listen to what I had to say.

"I’m just an old grandma, I have time." She responded, asking me to come inside.

———————————————

The couple, whose names were Lily and Evan Hudson, lived in a small and tiny house with vintage and sometimes old furniture. You could feel that very sweet people had lived her for many many years. The history in this house was undeniable.

Lily’s husband was as lovely as herself, they were literally made for each other.

All three of us sat down in the kitchen, Lily even gave me a cup of tea.

When I told them about my story, where I grew up, the first time I came to Australia, when I moved in with Calum and the things I already found out about my parents, I saw tiny tears shining in Lily’s eyes.

Surprisingly, it felt rather easy to tell complete strangers about me and my history. I wasn’t nervous at all and did not have to cry when explaining the sudden death of my mom. Maybe that are the effects of being a lawyer, you get better at talking about particular topics and issues.

When I finished, I got compassionate looks from both of them.

Lily was the first to break the silence. "Well, this is a very fascinating story, I must say." She looked at her husband, as if she wanted to convince him to say something to me.

"Umm… yeah. And now you came here to ask us for information?" He instead said, much to the disappointment of his wife. I nodded, they weren’t angry at me, were they? Let’s just hope not…

"And of course we'd love to help you, right Evan?" Lily gave her husband a threatening look. These two were really funny, the way they were messing with each other made me chuckle slightly. In my mind, I imagined Calum and me acting like this when we’re old and grey.

I have to admit, I think about our future together quite often. There was no doubt, I wanted to grow old with him. I wanted to have a beautiful wedding with all my friends and family. I often dreamed about an amazing proposal, with lots of rose petals and him kneeling down on one knee.

But this would most likely not happen, Calum was a romantic guy, but he was extremely shy and would probably never have enough courage to propose. I knew that.

But a girl can dream, right?

"It would mean so much to me if you could tell me anything about them." I said to the couple.

"Well, so what I can tell you, is that your parents were the most nice people you can ever imagine. Just like you!" Evan responded, smiling at me. And that caused my poor heart to make a little jump. They had been nice!

"They moved here because it was the only house they could afford at the time. Holly loved talking to others and had often friends over.", Lily said, smiling and giggling when she thought about it.," She was like a social butterfly! But your dad. Oh well, he didn’t feel comfortable. Everyone could tell." Lily laughed and Evan continued talking, still having a wide smile on his face. You could definitely see, these people really liked my parents.

"When they found out Holly was pregnant, they threw a little party in their garden behind the house. We were so happy for them, they’d be the perfect parents." All these little stories made me so happy and helped me feel more connected to them. It truly helped talking to this couple. With my search and with healing my inner child.

"But- if everyone was really happy for them… why did they gave me away?" I asked, a question that had been in my mind for the last few minutes, since they started talking about Holly's pregnancy.

Lily let out a sigh and compassionately touched my arm.

"They moved away before Holly gave birth to you, we did not knew they gave you away…and to be honest, we are truly surprised that the really did" She said, not knowing she just shattered my heart to pieces.

I was so sure, I'd find out everything today. But, of course it couldn’t be that easy.

"We did knew that they left a few pictures behind though. Arthur had a troubled past and wanted to close up with that chapter by leaving these pictures behind, he told me only one day before they moved." Evan added, giving me a little bit of hope that I could still find them. Somehow. Somewhere.

"But you have no idea to which place they moved, right?" I asked, already expecting a 'no', which I received in form from a head shake.

"I- I got one final question." Lily and Evan gave me an encouraging nod, giving me some extra strength. "Were they really loving me?" Somehow, my voice started breaking and tears formed in my eyes. This was a little too much for me after all.

Lily immediately stood up from her chair and embraced me and I let out a quiet sob. My heart felt like it crushed together by these many emotions that I felt at the same time. Confusion, Anger, Sadness and Hope.

When she let go, she looked at me closely and responded: "They did, don’t you worry." And then added something that gave me even more incentive to finally meet them. "You have your father’s eyes. It’s crazy, look Evan!"

When her husband took a closer look at me, he said the same thing. " it’s true, I always thought his eyes looked like an actual piece of chocolate, yours remind me of that too."

I slightly chuckled and thanked them for helping me so much. After all, I didn’t want to stay as long. They probably had so much other stuff to do.

Without me noticing, Evan stood up and when he came back he suddenly handed me a little piece of paper with a telephone number written on it.

"I can’t promise you anything, but Ms. Jackson had been a very close friend of Holly's. Maybe she knows where they are now and how you can meet them." He said.

What. The. Hell.

I could maybe meet them?! Oh my god.

Tears started forming in my eyes again and I quickly hugged Evan, much to his surprise actually. But I didn’t care about that.

I got a number from a friend. From an actual friend of theirs.

Even when I parked my car in front of my house, I still couldn’t believe it, that I was so close to my goal. My goal that I had for years and years.

Much to my surprise, I noticed Niall's car that he loaned at the airport when he cane to Australia. Him and Calum were most likely listening to their songs together and playing around like two middle school boys. Idiots.

But at least I could tell them about my truly exciting news together!

I opened the door in Milly-style-speed and quickly started searching for the two men and finally found them in Calum music room on the second floor.

I was right.

"Mills!" Niall exclaimed when I suddenly appeared in the door frame.

Calum got up from his little chair and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "How was it?" Strange, was it just me, or did he look quite scared? I'm probably just overthinking again, as always.

"Guess what, I got a telephone number of an old friend from my mom! She maybe still knows them!" I said, starting to jump and squealed at the end. It just was such exciting news!

Both of them joined in on my little happy dance and we spent the rest of the night, listening to Niall’s music together and eating pizza to celebrate my amazing day.

[cocosstories]

Pete Davidson One Shot

hiya! i hope i’m doing this right!!!! so i have epilepsy and i have like proper big seizures every 2 weeks. i had one today where i collapsed as soon as i got out of the shower and can’t remember anymore except waking up and being in agony and not being able to walk. pls could you do a pete davidson imagine where you have a seizure and he helps you during and after? thank you! ps. o hope this isn’t too much to ask!

Warning: Talk of serious medical conditions

It was a lowkey Wednesday night and you and your boyfriend Pete were enjoying a night in, watching movies and eating chinese food.

You were cuddled up on the couch when suddenly you feel your heart begin to race and a panicky feeling starts up.

"Babe? You ok?"

Pete asks, noticing your change in demeanor and the sweat that is beginning to build on your forehead.

You try to focus on what he is saying and suddenly go stiff and begin to twitch.

Pete jumps into action, laying you on your side and doing his best to stay calm as he tries to keep you calm.

"You're ok baby. I've got you. You're gonna be ok."

This wasn't the first time he had helped you through a seizure.

When you had first met, you told him about your epilepsy knowing how dangerous it could be if a seizure happened and he didn't know what to do.

Finally a few minutes later, the twitching stops and you slowly begin getting your senses back.

"Are you ok?"

He asks and you mumble, your speech not yet fully functioning yet.

"Its ok babe. You had a seizure. Lasted about three minutes. Everything is ok now."

Your face conveys all of your emotions at once, anger, frustration, embarrassment.

Pete helps you sit up and hands you your glass of water, helping you take a sip as everything begins to feel a bit more normal.

"Come here."

He says, easily pulling you towards him and begins massaging your neck to help with the after pain.

"Thank you for always being here. I know this isn't the easiest thing in the world to deal with. I hate being such a burden on you."

Even though he had never once even said anything about it, you knew how stressful your condition could be on your loved ones.

"No, it isn't but it isn't nearly as hard on me as it is on you. You are so strong and so brave. I love you Y/N, you aren't a burden on me. I know this is hard but we are in this together no matter what. I'm not going anywhere."

He says in the most serious voice you had ever heard come out of him.

You carefully lay back against him as he holds you as your body finally feels like your own again.

[girlwithshipsshitshow]

Part 16

(Misaki sat against the gate with his final exam in his hands, not only did he pass, but he got extra credit questions right as well. He smiled, he was so excited he was finally graduating, going on a trip with Usagi, building a home with him, and marrying him, his life finally beginning, he was insanely happy, the sound of a horn honking snapped him out of his thoughts he jumped a little and looked up, Usagi rolled down his window and looked at Usagi over the rim over his glasses).

Usagi: Hey hot stuff, need a ride?

Misaki: (laughs and stands up), shut up, (walks to Usagi's car and quickly kisses him on lips before getting in).

Usagi: So how'd the test go?

Misaki: (hands Usagi his test), see for yourself.

Usagi: (looks over paper then grins), Misaki! this is awesome! i'm so proud of you. (leans over, kisses Misaki on his cheek).

Misaki: I know, told you I was great at psychology.

Usagi: I know, I never doubted you. So what's next?

Misaki: Now I graduate. Oh and Monday I have to pick up my graduation packet. I really just need my robe and cap.

Usagi: Why didn't you get it today? Did they not have it in extra extra small.

Misaki: SHUT UP!! they aren't coming in until monday, so no one has them smartass.

Usagi: (Rolls eyes), whatever helps you sleep at night.

Misaki: (turns in seat to face Usagi), The only thing that helps me sleep at night is being wrapped in your arms.

Usagi: (Grins, places his hand on Misaki's warm face, rubs his thumb against his cheek). That's sweet, (whispers), you have no idea how much I want touch you right now.

Misaki: (softly), I think I do.

Usagi: (leans in for a kiss).

Misaki: (pulls away), Usagi, that'll lead to something more and, we can't.

Usagi: (Leans back in seat closes eyes sighing), I know.

Misaki: Let's just go get lunch.

Usagi: Okay,where do you want to go?

Misaki: Pizzakaya.

Usagi: Alright, (pulls car out of lot, heads down the street).

(Rose sat in the hospital cafeteria in her scrubs, she was biting on a fry wating for Eri, they decided to meet at the hospital for lunch because it would be easier for Rose, she also got called in early so she didn't have long, Eri rushed to Rose's table sliding into a chair almost knocking it over).

Eri: Sorry i'm late, and I know we don't have much time. (leans over and kisses Roses), I lost track of time.

Rose: That's okay, want some fries? we don't have much time for anything else.

Eri: Sure. (grabs a handful of fries)

Rose: How was your morning?

Eri: Good, busy. I'm almost done editing one of four books that Akihiko wrote.

Rose: That's good.

Eri: Yeah, how was your morning?

Rose: Pretty good, I did a lot of chores around the house, since I work a double and won't be home until tomorrow night.

Eri: Okay, good.

Rose: (grabs a handful of fries), Yeah. (pager beeps, she glances at it), Oh hey i gotta go, shift is starting. (stands up, kisses Eri on the lips softly), i'll call you later.

Eri: Okay, I better go too, Akihiko is working his ass off, if he keeps this up, i'll never get a break.

Rose: (laugs), Why is he working so hard anyway?

Eri: (stands up, grabs Rose's hand, they walk towards the elevators), It's for Misaki.

Rose: He really loves that little dude doesn't he? (presses the call button).

Eri: (Smiles), more than anything.

Rose: (they step onto the elevator, she presses the button for the fifth floor). That's really sweet.

Eri: Yeah, i've known him for a long time, he's never felt this way about anyone.

Rose: what do you think makes Misaki different?

Eri: Well he's never been in a relationship, ever. But I don't know there's something about Misaki, Akihiko's never let anyone in or close before, everyone was surprised when we found out he had a roommate or a boyfriend.

Rose: When he was in the hospital, did you mean it?

Eri: (confused look), what are you talking about?

Rose: When you offered to be their surrogate, did you mean it?

Eri: Of course, I mean if they want kids, I would be happy to do that for them.

Rose: (nods), well if they do Ren, his doctor can help with that, he has a ton of specialty's.

Eri: good to know.

(Rose steps off the elevator heading towards the nurses station while Eri heads to the first floor, she exits the building heading back to work).

(Usagi and Misaki sat down at a table at Pizzakaya, Usagi cleared his throat as he opened a menu, shut it, placed it on the table and grinned at Misaki).

Misaki: (Tilts head and smirks), Can I help you.

Usagi: You're so cute did you know that?

Misaki: I do, you tell me at least fifty times a day.

Usagi: I love this place, especially the garlic fry pizza.

Misaki: I know, you love that pizza, it's so gross.

Usagi: Yeah, but I get to pick this time because you picked last time.

Misaki: I remember. But I want garlic balls. And we have to get beer.

Usagi: I wish they had wine here.

Misaki: yeah, well they have beer, we have wine at the house.

Usagi: I know, but I still want wine.

Misaki: Okay.

Usagi: Fine, i'm going to the counter to order, what beer do you want?

Misaki: (Shakes his head to get hair out of his eyes before looking up at Usagi), whatever you get is fine.

Usagi: (clicks tongue, giving Misaki a thumbs up, heads to the the counter).

Misaki: That was weird. (His phone rings, it's Eri) Hey Eri.

Eri: Misaki? I didn't tell you could call me Eri.

Misaki: Hey, you're like one of my closest friends, i'm going to start calling you Eri now.

Eri: Okay, so I called because you did take the roll of being Usagi's assistant right?

Misaki: (Glances at counter were Usagi is wating for beers to be poured), yeah I did.

Eri: Okay, well I need to you to help him write the speech for your graduation, I know they typically want it long but you know Usagi.

Misaki: People also don't want to sit through long speeches, i'll make sure it's at least two minutes.

Eri: Give me a sec, let me check the email... Yeah that should be fine

Misaki: Okay, I'll have him write it by Wednesday.

Eri: That should work. Has he said anything about-

Misaki: I gotta go. (hangs up,places phone on the table as Usagi hands him his beer). Thanks baby.

Usagi: (sits down in front of Misaki), yeah of course. (sips his beer), so who was on the phone?

Misaki: Oh, Eri you have to write your speech for my graduation ceremony, you should have it done by Wednesday.

Usagi: Okay.

Misaki: It doesn't have to be long, I know you hate public appearances, just like two minutes.

Usagi: Okay. I don't know what to talk about.

Misaki: weren't you at the top of your class, didn't you have to make a speech for that? (Sips his beer, gently sets it down, takes Usagi's hand).

Usagi: I choose not to make the speech.

Misaki: Well talk about that, talk about being at the top of your class, and discovering your passion at a young age, talk about stuff like that, it's a two many speech, you're a local famous young author, they want you there, all the girls are really excited, and the guys are upset that their girlfriends are blushing over you.

Usagi: How do you feel?

Misaki: I just want to graduate.

Usagi: I mean about my giving a speech.

Misaki: (Reaches over to touch Usagi's face), I already told you, I want you speak, if I didn't want you there you would know, (pulls hand back), I want to get a new suit, I know I have a lot but this is a big deal.

Usagi: Okay.

(A bell dings in the restaurant and their pizza comes out to them, Usagi grins grabbing three slices of pizza and plopping it on his plate, Misaki rolls his eyes and picks at the garlic rolls).

Usagi: How do you feel about people fanning over me?

Misaki: Please, i'm used to it. Usagi I realize how you look, i mean you're hot, you're sexy. I am aware of your looks I get it, and i'm-

Usagi: (grabs Misaki's hands), You are so fucking cute, and sexy in your own way.

Misaki: Not like you.

Usagi: (snorts), i'm not with you because of your looks, you know I love you and I love your personality. But you are so cute Misaki, and you really are sexy. I mean your not with me because of my looks right?

Misaki: Nah, i'm in it for the money.

Usagi: Funny.

Misaki: (Smirks), I'm with you because as annoying as it is I am really happy that you're always here for me, and you make me feel brave, and I love you, and yeah maybe we aren't the best idea, and people might look at us weird because of the age difference, but I think even without my brother, no matter how we met, you and I would be sitting right here today engaged enjoying a pizza.

Usagi: Wait, say all that again, i'm going to use it for my vows.

Misaki: Shut up, that was supposed to be a meaningful moment.

Usagi: I know, it was really sweet, but I had to say something funny because I didn't want to cry.

Misaki: I love you so fucking much.

Usagi: I love you too. (sniffs) Let's finish up and go find a suit.

Misaki: (smiles) Okay.

Usagi: What about this one?

(Misaki turned to face Usagi, he was holding a red suit, Misaki laughed and shook his head, they were at the store that Usagi loved getting all his Suits from, and all the ones he special ordered suits from, they had good quality suits and did good business).

Usagi: Why? (he held it up), what's wrong with it?

Misaki: (scuffs), It's red Usagi, and it's not even a good red, it's a bright red, I am so not wearing that. I need like a light blue, or a dark blue, but not navy blue a little lighter than that. (Misaki turned around looking through the racks of blue suits, he found a suit the color of the ocean.) Like this, but it's not in my size.

Usagi: (walks over to Misaki, takes the suit from his hand) We can get it sized for you.

Misaki: yeah, by the twenty-second?

Usagi: That's next sunday sweetheart, I think we can do it by then.

Misaki: Okay, because I think it's perfect.

Usagi: Speaking of perfect, should we start planning our wedding?

Misaki: Uh, no.

Usagi: Why?

Misaki: (Twists engagement ring) well we just got engaged and what's the rush?

Usagi: (takes his hand as they walk to the front of the store). Well I mean, I healed, almost and your graduating soon, and we are going to look at the place where we will be building our dream house. (they stop at the front and Usagi places the suit on the counter, Usagi leans against it as they wait for someone to come up to take the suit).

Misaki: Right, I know but I want to wait.

Usagi: Until we tell the public?

Misaki: (laughs nervously), Exactly.

Usagi: okay well, I think we can just leave this here with your size, i've done it before. (He writes down Misaki's sizes and his number on a piece of paper, then takes Misaki's hand and they walk out of the store).

Misaki: Thank's Usagi.

Usagi: Anytime.

Misaki: (Smiles at Usagi, looks at his car then pulls him into the ally beside the store).

Usagi: What are you doing?

Misaki: (pushes Usagi against the wall, stands on his toes, wraps his arms around his neck passionately kisses Usagi, he runs his fingers through his hair, he can feel himself blushing and getting hard, and pulls away, places his hand on Usagi's face softly caresses his cheek).

Usagi: M-Misaki, what was that for?

Misaki: Because I love you, and I really wanted to kiss you.

Usagi: (short laugh) In an ally?

Misaki: Yeah.

Usagi: Do you want to go home?

Misaki: Yeah, can we cuddle on the couch? Maybe take a nap? Watch Grey's Anatomy?

Usagi: (Smiles) That sounds like a perfect afternoon.

[kaaukai-blog]

[caszscountrycraftsblog]

Update

Hi all,

I haven't posted for a while due to three issues. First up I have had the flue which sat me on my tush being very sick for three months. The flue seasion this year in Australia has been very bad with a lot of deaths.

After developing a really bad chest infection & having trouble breathing I ended up on several lots of antibiotics and cortisone tablets to get on top of it.

I am now over the flue thankfully which with having my flue shot late & the flue running through Australia early it didnt help me this year. Although in saying that I didn't get pneumonia so that was at least a posative.

Im still having treatment on my face which weve been travelling to Melbourne fortnightly which also hasnt helped with trying to stay well. Hospitals are not healthy places.

I am finally on the end of that so am now on Monthly appointments as of next month which Im actually relieved with as the traveling is crippling me atm.

We travel over 600 kilometers to my Accommodation so its a few days of traveling than running around for appointments.

Being patient 0 now since 2015 has been difficult. Mainly as with them never having done this type of facial reconstruction work done it has ment a lot of operations & appointments, due to trying new techniques and correcting mistakes, but on that note we are finally experiencing a win there and I should be finished by the end of October.

They are now also training other surgons in this area & working on other patients so knowing this is pretty humbling as others are now getting there pallets reconstructed better and are now having teeth implants put into newly developed jaw reconstructions which has come from me fighting the hospital systems here wanting a better quality a life.

So there has been many Nurses, surgeons, Specialists, Therapists, Speech therapists helping me fight to live and try to give me a better quality of life! For that I'm extremely grateful & lucky.

Some of my surgeons have also flown in from Canada, Germany, England & France with my Jaw Reconstruction work. That alone was a 19 hr surgery a team of over 100 people. I nearly died as my blood supply failed and because it was life-threatening I was operated in under 30 days. I also missed my youngest daughters wedding from my jaw reconstructions which I was devastated at missing due to the restrictions the hospital placed on me. She did look beautiful in her wedding dress on her wedding day though I will say.

For those of you who dont my history I was diagnosed with mouth & throat cancer in 2009. My life expectancy from my initial diagnosis was 3 to 4 years. Im still alive & have fought my cancer now for over 10 years & endured over 36 surgeries now! I was operated on 48 hours after my diagnosis so it didn't give me much time to process it & fighting it with every doctor and specialist telling me I was going to DIE made fighting it extremely difficult. Its also been extremely hard on my family & children.

From all my surgeries & hospital appointments plus operations I started crocheting & Knitting again, which is how Casz's Country Crafts was born in 2018. You can follow me & support me through Instagram at caszs_country_crafts, Facebook @CaszsCrafts & my website withFree Patterns & Wednesday Pattern Pics Blog, crochet & Knitting Accessories, Needles and Notions.

So come November I'll finally finish I hope & can move on with my life and living. Trying to keep a business running throughout this all has been difficult but Im managing to keep it their and Im looking forward to being active with my business again after all this treatment for Cancer and Cancer reconstruction work!

My Business is still alve thankfully to ALL OF YOU who follow me, purchase from me and support me. So a very big THANKYOU for that for without all of your support #caszs_country_crafts wouldn't be here!

Since January I've had problems walking, sitting and traveling which is my third problem. We finally know whats wrong which is fantastic but it too is goung to take approximately a year to get me on my feet again!

It seems I have torn a glute muscle from thigh off the bone!

Which 1 I keep tearing it with traveling, lifting and walking. At least I now know why Ive not been able to sit at my computer which I need to do to research and write all my articles plus my blogs.

We are now adapting everthing we need to at home, Ive commenced treatment but till my face is finished Im going to keep going forwards & backwards. As I'm tearing the muscle more with lifting and traveling, sitting & walking. Its definitely affected my daily life & very painful.

Im also trying to learn new computer programs to help in this issue plus where about to change my chair plus adapt aids so I can start redoing my blogs & articles. I carnt go back to all my hand dyeing yet but I'll get there.

It is at least repairable and if it dosnt want to cooperate than surgery again is an option to reattach the muscle. Im am hoping though Im able to win with a slow recovery and no surgery.

Where aiming that I csn return to work partime by November at least with all my Social Networking. Untill than I'll do what Im able as health permits.

So, as you see Ive got my hands full with a few issues at present, I'm not giving up so please stick with me with your support!

I'm definitely needing it with my Social Networking sites! Thankyou again too those of you who follow me here, on Facebook, Instagram, Pintrest & twitter! If your not on there please pop in and check me out as your support helps me to keep going forward!

Thought I'd update you all now we know whats going on. Have a wonderful week everyone!

Carey

Caszs Country Crafts

[obliviontomars-blog]

The Group - Chapter 01

So here's the deal: it's my first fanfiction ever. I will continue if you guys give me some feedback (I need to know if this sucks or not). 

Hope you can enjoy and have as much fun reading as I did writing :D

The food was all set. Vegan, healthy, sugarish, you name it. One of my favorite things was to host parties and make people feel welcome. After a while I became known for my hospitality and the crazy parties with the coolest people I threw.

After I moved to LA, me and my friends started to throw some Wednesdays parties in my apartment. People called us "The Group". We were 5 students (and a teacher) of UCLA, of different areas, that became very close.

The rule to our meetings was to always bring another person, so we could meet new people. That way my place was constantly full of artists, painters, directors, actors and students. The most crazy and creative people of LA.

The living room was already full of people. A plastic artist from NY, a few students from UCLA, and this supposedly famous writer that I have never heard of.

I was refilling the avocado toasts when my phone vibrated. Tessa had sent a message:

"Prepare yourself, I'll be there in 15 min."

I didn't quite get what should I be prepared for, so I just assumed she was talking about her presence.

The doorbell hang and Josh arrived, carrying this fancy tequila on his hands.

"Darling, save this for a special occasion, my gift from Mexico."

"Awn thank you, how was the trip?"

"An entire week of crazy sex with the prettiest boys."

"Jesus... I need you to  give me all the details later, baby."

I was putting the tequila in the kitchen cabinet when he asked, while running his eyes throughout the living room:

"Where's Superman?"

"Not among us anymore." I answered,  giving him a kiss on his cheek.

The doorbell hang again. When I opened the door I thought I was too drunk and seeing things wrong.

"Hi baby, how are you?" Tessa gave me a very tight hug. "This is my friend, Jared."

It wasn't the alcohol. He was really there. My mind went completely blanc for a second before I could think of  what to say. Tessa gave me this weird look as if she was trying to say something with her eyes. Think fast Victoria.

"Oh, hey, I'm Victoria. Welcome! There's food, lots of drinks and very nice people. Hope you have fun." I smiled as I finished the same welcome speech I always give to the newbies.

"Thank you, nice to meet you Victoria. I've heard great things about your parties." His voice was calm and had a husky tone that sent shivers through my entire body.

"Hope you'll find them all to be true. Make yourself home!"

He entered the living room and went compliment the people who were inside. I turned myself to Tessa and whispered in a desperate tone to her "Jared Leto? Jared Fucking Leto? Seriously?"

She laughed. "I told you to prepare yourself."

"Oh my god... I need another drink." I said while I closed the door behind me.

I was a huge fan of Jared and his work. Also, he was in my top 5 hottest guys ever. He had this mysterious aura around him that everybody would comment about, wich always made me very curious about him. Besides that, such a beautiful and talented guy, single at the age of 47?  Something was seriously wrong with him.

The thing is, I never thought I would meet him, so I got  really nervous about him being at my place. Despite that, I knew I was a great host, and in the past few years I learned pretty well how to interact with people I've never met before. If I just try to act like I wasn't extremely sexually attracted to him at all, I should be fine.

It was my chance of meeting the myth.  So I took a deep breath, filled my glass with some more wine, and went sit with Tessa and Jared. 

They were sitting on the floor, with Josh, Leo and another girl I couldn't remember the name, just in front of the balcony.

"Where's Superman?" Tessa asked as soon as I sat down.

"Oh lord... He's not coming anymore, okay? No comments, let's just move on."

"Victoria, you're gonna die alone." Leo mocked me.

I sticked my tongue at him. "Thank you, next."

We all laughed. 

I notice Jared wasn't drinking anything. "Hey, can I get you something to drink?"

"Would you have something non-alcoholic?"

"That's gonna be a little hard to find here today. I'm so sorry. I'm gonna check the  fridge to see if I can find anything."

"Don't worry, water is fine by me."

"No way." I got up and went to the kitchen. 

My apartment wasn't very big, it was an open concept living room and kitchen, with a huge balcony in the front. Wooden floors, very cozy, nice view.

I realized Jared was following me, so I immediately straighten up, making sure my butt looked bigger. Cause you know, they ALWAYS look.  I was wearing a high wasted shorts and an open back body that gave me a very sexy look.

I opened up the fridge and saw some lemons.

"How about a lemonade?"

"I would love one, thank you."

He leaned on the counter top while I was preparing the drink.

"I'm sorry about my curiosity, but who is this Superman guy? Everybody here is talking about him." He asked, almost whispering.

I chucked. "It is actually the Superman. My now ex-almost-boyfriend, that I happened to have dumped. Henry... Cavill. I said looking down. People always got surprised by the fact I was dating him, wich made me embarrassed. "He apparently got very close to everybody. More than I thought." I sighed.

"Oh wow. You dumped him? Woman you've got some balls. I wouldn't dump a man like that." He pointed to his arms while saying it, alluding to Henry's massive muscles.

I laughed ."Yeah, well, what can I say... I'm more of a batman kind of girl." I winked at him.

He threw me the prettiest smile I have ever seen in my life. His eyes were blue like an ocean. It felt like I could get lost in those forever.

I was smiling back at him when I immediately remembered he interpreted the Joker,  so I swallowed hard hoping he wouldn't think I was flirting with him. Well, I wouldn't actually mind if he think that, though.

"So, no alcohol, at all?" I asked to break the ice.

"Bad for the body. And the mind." He added.

"Living on planet earth is bad for the body and the mind. Seriously, no poisons?"

"Well, I had enough you know. I spent too many years on the road and already had my share of all the poisons you can think of. Now I just like to stick to the natural adrenaline."

"Natural as in what, pot?" I chuckled at my own audacity.

He smiled. "As climbing, or my concerts. And a little bit of that too, every now and then" He smirked.

I laughed "Oh that's nice. You know, I'm a big fan of hiking. Actually my friend Leo got me into that, he does climb sometimes too." I finished the drink. "Here we go, a non-alcoholic lemonade to you, Sr."

He smiled at me and took the glass, slighty touching my fingers. My legs went loose and I thought I would fall down if weren't for Leo's voice.

"Heard my name."

"I was just telling Jared you like climbing,  and initiated me into the mountains."

Leo was an extremely tall and handsome brunette guy. He was a photographer and teacher at UCLA. 

"Yeah it's my favorite hobby, and allows me to take some pretty nice pictures."

"Since you've mentioned, I was actually thinking about going to Yosemite saturday morning.  We could hike, so the lady here could go too." Jared said.

"I would really like that, could be fun. Victoria?"

"Count me in." I answered and shook my head in sign of approval.

Someone in the balcony called Jared's name.

"Well, we can talk details later, if you guys excuse me."

Leo smiled at me, saying with his eyes what no needed to be put into words. He lifted up his beer and saluted "cheers to hiking with a very, very, hot guy. I bet your wet right now."

"Cheers to that baby. And yes, I am." I finished my wine all at once.

[probably-writing-x]

High Society (The Reveal)

~A Tom Holland AU Series~

Tags: @imarypayne @sunshine112 @sleepwalkingdragon @supernatural-girl97 @vibhati123 @butithasntkilledyouyet @faefictions @carisi-sonny @trap-house-homiecide @shamelessbookaddict @tommydaspidey @oneblckcoffee

Warnings: In-detail depictions of death and murder, language warning, mentions of violence and gang crime.

Notes: Wow! It's finally here!!! I hope this reveal lives up to your expectations... I'm so nervous to post it ahhhh! Let me know allof your final thoughts...

~~~Wednesday 30th January 2019~~~

"-I am arresting you under suspicion of the murder of Imogen Clarke. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention something that you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given as evidence," Her voice is certain of every word and you swear for a moment you feel all hearts drop to the tiled floor. Going, going, gone.

~~~Friday 25th January 2019~~~

"Dad, please stop going on about it," You sigh, fixing the light curls of your hair for the millionth time, "Can I not just enjoy tonight? Or is that not allowed after the big sister reveal?"

Peter and Evan were stood in the doorway of your bedroom, clearly giving you extremely unimpressed looks about your decision to attend the Winter Ball.

"It's not just Imogen," Peter points out, nudging at his husband, "You know how we feel about that Thomas kid,"

You let out an exaggerated groan, turning around to face them, "Stop it! You're acting like he's completely destroying who I am. In fact, he's the only reason I actually want to be there tonight. I would be very happy to never have to see Imogen again. But I want to spend one last night at that school before you flip everything upside down again, okay?"

Your outburst was unexpected by all of you and your Dads are stunned into a welcomed silence, both of them looking at their baby girl with blinking eyes, refusing to believe that this school had changed her that much. But it had. And, of course, they wouldn't accept that. She was too pure to be tainted by the posh kids at that school.

"Tom's here," You sigh, more thankful than you'd be able to express to him. Turning quickly to check yourself in the mirror, you brush your hands cautiously over the material of your dainty dress, making sure the boxing gloves still hung right over your heart. You welcomed the nerves, it made this all feel like a real school dance - and not a shattering goodbye.

Tom was waiting at the door when you made your way down the stairs and the shine in his eyes made you instantly know you'd made the right choice with your dress. It was a dark sky blue colour and fell over the curves of your hips, cutting off at the point on your thighs where your stretch marks faded. His eyes echoed a mix of complete adoration and an utter surprise that you'd be the one he'd attend the ball with tonight.

"Hello stranger," He croaks out, quickly clearing his throat to try to avoid his cheeks growing too much of a pink glow.

"Hello, Thomas," You chuckle, realising just how much you'd missed that damn face.

He grabs your hand when you're just close enough to him and pulls you flush against his chest, "Do we really have to go to the ball? Can't we have our own party?"

You hum against his words, welcoming the hot air that they bathed your face in, "Maybe we could sneak a few moments to ourselves,"

"I know this is meant to be some big reunion or whatever but can we please get going?" Sam calls from his seat in the back of Tom's car, poking his head out from the open window.

You laugh and greet the twins who had opted to dress in matching suits for the night. Tom opened your door for you and, soon, the four of you were journeying towards school; still with the sickening feeling in your stomach that it would be your last time.

~~~

The school was electrified with a warm buzz, with all of your year filtering through the doors and welcoming the familiarity of chart songs blasting through the overhead speakers. Tom was greeted by everyone he walked past and he made sure to say hello to them all, still happy to take the title of King of this school. It was only when he saw Lily that he really had to force the 'nice boy' demeanour.

"It's nice to see you Lily," He smiles politely, twisting his hand in yours slightly as though he still needed to confirm you were there, "Did you have a good holiday?"

"Oh relax with the small talk," She rolls her eyes, "Talk to me when you've got rid of the downgrade, honey," Her lips press against his cheek in a bitter display of affection before she's strutting off with an excessive display of confidence.

You speak up before Tom can even try to apologise, "Let's get a drink, I think we might need something stronger than punch if we're going to make it through comments like that,"

His laugh is a sound you didn't realise you were missing as he willingly accepts you tugging him towards the refreshments stand where Noah and Z are visible.

"Well hello, stars of the show," Noah wiggles his brows at the two of you, handing over a cup of fruit punch to Sam who had walked over too.

"Hey guys," You grin, reaching over to get two cups for you and Tom, "Did you have a good holiday?"

All of you engage in relaxed small talk until the sound of the microphone cracking makes everyone's eyes divert toward the stage.

Mrs Osterfield took her position behind the microphone and cleared her throat. It was only then that everyone else joined you: Harrison, Lily, Harry, Noah, Zendaya, Sam, Imogen, Tom and you.

"Well, you all look beautiful tonight guys and I'm glad we can all be here to celebrate together. Something I've really noticed about this group is the community spirit - you are all one big team and that's something that you should really embrace-" She continues with her speech about how brilliant you all were before the lights dim in the sports hall and you're all left in a strange, prolonged darkness.

It is only then that something flashes. You can't help but divert your eyes to Zendaya and Noah, both hiding a deep pride for all of this, clearly being at the heart of the plan. You go back to reading the words spilling across the electronic screen.

'We were all told this term to expose something about ourselves and about each other. But it's time we expose something about the school we're relying on for our futures. How about them completely dismissing everything fucked up that's going on in our year? The manipulation of their teachers by eighteen year old students. The manipulation of other students by people forcing them into twisted relationships,'

Everybody in your group looks to Imogen who is red with a burning fury.

'We're living in a fucked up school. And Lily, Imogen, all of you, this is where it stops,"

The lights don't come back on but the chatter of every student in here is enough to cover any need for illumination. Enough had already been seen. And, in the blue light glow of the enlarged screen, you watch Imogen storm away from the crowd. When you glance back up, Zendaya and Noah have disappeared into the crowd and it is too dark to see where they've gone.

You find yourself following the focus of the recent exposure and you finally catch up with Imogen at the stairs.

"Imogen," You start, watching as she pauses in her high-heeled steps on the inclined floor.

"Did you set this up? Was this all you?" She questions, clearly not holding enough respect for you to justify her making any eye contact.

"No, god, no. I had no idea," You respond.

It felt strange to be seeing her now, not just as the bitch Imogen but as a girl you had spent your first moments as the sibling of. The girl you had the potential to grow up to want to be just like.

"Then what do you want? Are you here for an apology or something?" It is only now that she turns round, arms folded and looking in all ways dissimilar from you. Maybe you were thankful for that - her beauty held a chilling sin.

"I found something out over Christmas and I think it's important that you know," You begin, wrapping your hands around each other to express your nerves without trembling onto the ground.

"Well? Spit it out,"

"You're my sister," You manage to finally release, the words feeling sickening to be directed at someone you wanted to completely despise.

The look on her face was one you were all too knowing to not expect. A mocking smirk and the delicate release of a pathetic laugh.

"What the fuck is that meant to mean?" She scoffs, stepping one stair closer to you.

"What I just said. I was ado-" You begin but she is quick to cut you off, stepping so close that you could see every particle of her makeup.

"Oh, honey, don't act like there's some familial bond between us," She lets out an exasperated laugh, "Because, sis, I'm pretty sure family wouldn't be willing to help somebody steal from me,"

You're sure it is audible when your words clatter against the floor, echoing irritatingly through mocking halls.

"Don't test me, (Y/N)," She shakes her head, "And don't ever assume we're family, darling,"

And then she's gone, leaving you at the bottom of these stairs, sure that you were going to wake up in any moment. Nothing.

You're not sure how long you stay there, sitting against the cold stairs, until someone is there to greet you.

The familiar aftershave of Tom's wraps around you like a blanket as his arms hold your waist with a relieving comfort.

"So I lost everyone at the party, I literally couldn't find anyone," He comments, a harmless remark for now.

Tom pulls himself closer to you, his head only inches from yours.

"Is this our chance to get away?" He mumbles, breath hot as his lips brush your ear.

Tom needs no reply as he pulls you through the corridors and out through the doors towards the swimming pool.

"Tom," You hiss but you can't say anything more as you feel your back press against the harshness of the cold wall tiles. It forces you to let out an involuntary squeak that is instantly silenced by Tom's lips on yours.

You melt into the contact that you had been missing for weeks and forget all about the rest. It was just him.

When he pulls away, his forehead is on yours and his nose bumps subconsciously with yours, "(Y/N)," He begins, welcoming the breathless nature of his words, "I know. I know your parents want you to leave. And I know you're going to leave after tonight," His confession feels like you've just been hit against the tiled wall once again, forceful and unforgiving.

"I-" You start, "How did you find out?"

"I knew your Dads were still debating it so I found Evan's number and I spoke to him whilst you were away," You find yourself gripping onto him a little tighter as he speaks, "I pleaded with him for ages to try to get you to stay. But he said the only way you'd ever be able to carry on here would be if you separated yourself from everyone who's had a bad impact on you. From me,"

"Tom I'm not staying here if-"

"I also knew that would be your response. So, I want to spend this one last weekend with you and then we'll decide your fate after that. We'll decide if you stay or go. But, let's just get away for a weekend," His positive encouragement is enough to make you want to agree wholeheartedly.

"Okay," You whisper and his face brightens enough to make your dark surroundings feel blinding.

"Then let's go, you know what your parents are like. They wouldn't want you to step a foot out of here with me," He points out, his hand gripping yours with more certainty than ever.

Tom goes to pull you away and it is in that moment that everything just stops. The shattering blow was an unmistakable sound and so was the ear bursting thud that followed. And, then, a stumbling silence.

"What wa-" Tom begins but he sees the way your eyes glaze over. The way your hand falls out of his and the way he's sure your heart audibly stops. It is only then that his eyes follow yours, tracing the invisible path to where you couldn't bare to rip your gaze from.

Unmistakable.

You could see how their hands were trembling, and how the trophy fit into them with a deathly uncertainty, a foreign power. Their eyes held a fury that was washed over with a sheer shock at what their own actions had just caused. And their stumbling feet told you that their mind still hadn't processed what their instincts had just caused.

"No," Tom shakes his head, feet chasing after the scene like they'd run fast enough to rewind it, "No, no, no, no,"

It was as clear as day in the dim setting. Her body, unforgivingly lifeless in the scarlet pooling of her once rushing blood. Her eyes, fluttered shut to echo a false hope that she was peaceful, only to be shattered by the ragged wound across her styled hair.

"What have you done?" Tom yells, his eyes diverting around every single feature of this mess.

The trophy clattered to the floor in another bone shuddering clash. And you could see how their hands trembled, a vision of thankfulness for the power they were able ro release from grip.

"She- she knew too much," They stumbled over the words like it wasn't their mouth saying them and it wasn't their hands that had just stopped all knowledge she could have held.

It was in that moment you could see how unreal this all seemed to Tom. In front of him was no longer a person he knew. It was a person he was sure he never wanted to meet. Because, behind trembling hands and crying eyes, there was someone who had just killed another. A murderer. His brother.

"She knew about the gang, and she knew about the pregnancy test," He shakes and the movement is recognisable in his fearful words, "And then I heard her talking to you (y/n), she knew about the necklace and us and Harrison,"

Tom can't possibly rip his eyes away from the boy in front of him but you know he's wishing he could be anywhere else. That he could wake up and have his younger brother again, and not this tainted form of the boy he once was.

"Okay, you need to get out of here," You nod, certain of your unsure words, "Go through the back alley to your house and stay there until we tell you to come back. We'll just say you didn't feel well and you came back once you heard something had happened,"

He looks at you and his eyes are blurring with a terrified haze.

"Tom, me and you need to go. We'll go to the gym and just say that we went there after the whole fiasco at the ball to spend some time together. Nobody will question it," You say to him and it is only then that he makes eye contact with you.

"Tom, am I going to prison?" The younger holland brother asks, and it is only then that he truly starts to cry.

"Hey, hey," Tom steps over to him and grips his shoulders, "You're my brother. I'd do anything for you. That's what it means to be a Holland, okay Harry?"

And then he's running.

You force yourself with everything to look down at the lifeless body. The dried blood that stained her hair and trailed down her face. It all felt too gone. Like she'd been gone for far too long.

"We need to get rid of that fucking trophy," You mention and you're sure that everything around you is spinning apart from that blood soaked weapon.

"T-Tom?"

Both of you look up to see Sam stood frozen in the doorway of the swimming pool, looking between you and Tom like he wanted to run as far away from you as possible.

"Sam, buddy, we need you to do something," Tom states, "I need you to take that trophy, go out the back door, and get it as far away from here as possible,"

Sam can't help but listen to the words of his brother, whom he was willing to trust with his life.

"It was Harry, wasn't it?" He says as his hands grasp the cold, twisted metal of the trophy.

"Now's not the time," Tom replies, still refusing to confirm it yet, "Get out of here, go!"

It is as soon as his brothers are out of here that you see Tom decline. He runs his hands through his hair and you're sure he can feel everything around him crumbling.

"Babe, come on, we can't stay here," You grab at his hand and start pulling him toward the door, wanting to get as far away from the scene as your mind would let you run.

And the two of you set off like there's a fire at your heels. But what really chased at your escape was much worse than any fire could muster. It was the glass eyes of your blood relation, at the cold hands of Tom's own brother.

You're sprinting down the corridor behind Tom and watch as his hands tug at the tie around his neck, throwing it's silk to the floor in an absentminded throw. The restriction in his chest was impossible to stop.

And you were running - away from a fate that was far too sickening to fathom.

[soldierallen]

Married 9

Summary: you're in love with Sebastian and you're one of his three best friends however he finds a women he loves and marries her.

Disclaimer: I have a Thanksgiving chapter that will be out a week after Thanksgiving YIKES I didn't time this right am sorry! Anyways heres the next chapter.

Warnings: none, probably some cursing, and arguing but that's usually what happens in this story, mentions of sex.

Part 8:

Three days, no phone call or text since the wedding from him Henry's been very supportive of the whole thing he said I look better and to be honest I feel better.. I wonder how sebastian's doing I think I should give him a call

"Stop I know what your thinking about" Henry said looking out the window eating food at my office this time, "what am I thinking about" she stabbed her food with a fork not really interested in eating lately, she did that often nothing filled the void nor food or sex nothing.

"You want to call him" he looked at his food and back at her and she stared at him from across the table "Henry" "no y/n! It's not your job!" He explained

"But if I want to pursue a relationship it should be-"

"Two sided?, well explain to me since the past three days has he called?" He threw a napkin onto the table waiting for her answer "no.."

"Texted?, a dm on Instagram? Maybe even a Facebook message?" She stayed silent "he never calls" he got up putting his hand on her shoulder "give up" he finally let the words out of his mouth, wanting to stay them for so long.

Give Up, give up the fight for a love that doesn't exist for a love that can't truly be fixed because it's one sided. She stood up "I know.." she had to stop feeling sorry for herself it's been years I think it's time to really give up for real this time, Henry was right and she knew he was it was just hard to actually stop everything and end it, a 14 year relationship down the drain..all because of a stupid wedding!

"I have to go, please don't call him"

She nodded her head knowing it was wrong knowing it needed to end once and for all.. he kissed her forehead "I'll see you tomorrow okay?" "Okay, uh text me when you get home so I know you're okay" he smiled with a small nod and went on his way, she saw Robert her boss about to knock on her door when she went to it opening it "Mr Downey how are you" she smiled, he gave her a nice smile back "hey were having a going away party for Martin, do you want to come? It's gonna be at my place" "I don't know I'm not feeling to well-" "y/n, please come" she felt bad to say no she just didn't feel like going she never felt like doing anything anymore.

She made an excuse, not really interested in going to a party she wasn't in the mood taking a nice wall home when she stumbled upon a bar... going in for a few drinks and a date possibly

×

She unlocked her door with the spare key that everybody used checking her mail taking the few pieces that she had in there, carrying them up the stairs she opened, reading some and finally getting to her door someone was laying by her apartment door she looked carefully

"sebastian?" He was asleep? Was he here all night?.. he slightly opened his eyes she unlocked her door "unfuckingbeilevable" she twisted the door knob letting herself in, he always has to fuck it up? I had one good night with some guy and he had to be at my house that morning?

"Y/n what time is it?" He said with a yawn stretching his body coming into her house "it's 6am on a Wednesday, what the hell are you doing here?" she slammed her door shut she had nothing to say to him, she started stripping off her clothes "I know your mad-"

"Mad? Oh mad is an understatement!, I'm fucking furious" her blouse on the floor, her heels off she was left in a bra and a skirt she went into her bedroom sebastian watched from her door

"I know I'm sorry for everything for messing up your life for everything it's my fault and I know I didn't know you wanted me" he lied, he tried so hard to not lie to her but it just slipped out

"Just because you had a bad childhood doesn't mean you could act like a prick whenever you want, you hurt people seb and for some odd reason you always choose me" She took off her skirt changing into sweatpants and a t shirt, she wasn't done with the argument that she felt erupting in her stomach

"I spent my whole life waiting for you, maybe one day he'll break up with Maggie and see I'm the one who truly cares for him, maybe one day he'll break up Ally and want me maybe one day he'll leave his cheating fiancé for me, Robbie amell had to stop the wedding and not the man who claimed he wanted me"

she left her bedroom facing him for the first time in a few minutes he was in her living room sitting on the couch his hands folded together his head down, once she walked into the room his head shot up

"If he didn't make his big fucking entrance I was doing it, I was going go take you by the hand and fucking leave y/n do you know how much it killed me?" He said pointing to himself "to see you leave with Henry that night when I knew I was suppose to leave with you that night I've never been so jealous of Henry in my whole life that he got to take you home"

"You should be jealous of Henry he's been there for me, and you aren't you never are and you know what -" he cut me off

"I love you I love you so fucking much that i spent years watching shit boyfriends break your heart and the next day I wanted to beat the shit out of them for breaking your heart, making you feel unimportant you've always meant the most to me don't you even think for a minute I stopped caring I never did and I never will you're a part of me y/n." His voice was loud at first and than became so soft, she loved him, however she couldn't take hurting anymore and take Henry's words 'Give up'

She folded her arms over each other on her chest looking across at him he was farther away he kept walking one step closer trying to reach her

"I love you, how many times am I going to say it I've never loved any other women the way I love you the connection is so core deep I feel it I feel the electricity running through my veins just hearing you speak, give me one more shot we need this one time" he grabbed her hand putting it on his heart "I want you"

"i think i should let us go for real this time, take these pictures down throw away the vase give you back your shit and take you out of my life, all you've ever done to me was make me feel I was never good enough like I never had a place in your life, yeah I never felt left out of your life but there was never a place for me in the beginning"

"I'm not leaving until we fix this I don't want to fight with you I want to resolve this" he said he was calmer than before, she let out a shaky breath not even knowing what to say what's gonna fix this? Absolutely nothing.

There was a knock on the door, she looked at sebastian and he nodded at her to open the door

"You never called me last night when I texted you I got worried" Henry said, his deamour turned as soon as he saw sebastian, he got a protective look on his face and a stare that meant what is he doing here, kinda like a "did you call?" And she nodded no

"I'll tell you everything later." She tried to calm down however she was getting more nervous having both men in the same room with each other when Henry was angry at sebastian for ghosting her

"No he needs to go" Henry walked Into the house "I came to apolgize what are you two fucking behind my back" sebastian said it startled the both of them

"guys please don't do this" she tried to be calm and then that's when the two started bickering she tried to make them both stop and they wouldn't what would throw them off?

"IM PREGNANT" both men stopped and looked at her with wide eyes "I'm not pregnant but you both need to fucking stop arguing I'm tired of arguing" she said

"We're gonna act like adults and settle this" she went into her kitchen and pulled out a quarter in her cookie jar, she never put cookies in it only change and buttons? Why did she have so many buttons.

"Alright heads or tails" she said

"Tails" sebastian said

"Yeah because you're a rat" Henry said

"Henry" she said in a voice that only a mother would use

"Okay" he backed off, she flipped the coin and it landed on heads

"Henry make your argument no interruptions." She sat down on her couch right next to sebastian ready to listen to Henry's argument.

"You've used us, played us, and haven't supported any of us in the things were doing." Henry said, he nodded

"You know y/n's getting really close to being chief executive?, you know Anthony's daugther is the best player on her team? did you know that Chris and jennie are planning to have kids soon? Not after the wedding but right now as we speak" Henry was trying to calm his self to actually say everything he's wanted to say since months

"You're not in our lives anymore and you expect everyone to forgive you because we "know" you? I can't do it anymore, sebastian I'm a 25 year old man that can't handle bullshit excuses anymore" he air quoted "know" because well we don't know him anymore, the person we knew left? He isn't himself he knows and hes trying to fix it sebastian let a breath to say something when Henry stopped him with a hand "I waited for months, for an apology from you for the shit you put me through the invitations and the writing speeches and and just everything.. I got a phone call that night from you asking if you should apologize to y/n" she knew, she knew everything Henry was going to say he was right.

"Didn't you know in your right God damn mind that she was the FIRST person you should've called to apolgize to, and you didn't you asked ME didn't apolgize to me but asked me if you should apologize?" Henry was getting angry "Henry" she put a warm comforting hand on his bicep

"I have so much to say and I'm just so in my head" he sat down on the couch opposite of them and y/n went over to him she put her head on his shoulder "it's okay" she rubbed his arm "say it with love in your voice and not anger, you love him I do to" she said in a low voice

"I know what I did I don't expect anyone to forgive me I'm trying" Sebastian tried to sympathize looking at the both of them "make your argument" y/n said, Henry was getting super stressed out laying back and looking towards sebastian "don't lie or make any shit excuses I'll know" Henry said he took his hand and rubbed his forehead ready to hear sebastian.

"You're an asshole did I lie there?" Sebastian said Henry threw a pillow at him forcefully "start talking dickhead" sebastian's reflexes moving fast enough for him not to get hit and he smiled, he sild the silver ring off his right hand holding it in their eye view "if you never gave me this ring I don't think I would of ever realized how much you all mean to me, Henry specifically without you I wouldn't of gotten through this year without all of you including Chris and Anthony who aren't here on a Wednesday at 7am in y/n's apartment" he shallowed thickly watching the two people he cared about stare at him in depth having all ears & eyes on him.

"Henry I'm sorry I am, i promise to be in everyone's lives again and fix all of our relationships it may take months maybe even years but I'll try my best, i'll really try for all four of you" he sild the ring back on his finger "I want you both to forgive it will take time I know I just need reassurance that you both will forgive me one day" here it was sebastian. Finally got to core of all of our problems

Apologizes.

I don't think anyone ever understands what it takes to apolgize to someone you love, time out of your day to apolgize to the people who love you & support you all the time it takes courage because you know you were the wrong one the one who started it the one who made these situations he knows and hes genuinely sorry I don't think the two could ask for more from him

"We'll think about it" Henry said as a joke still holding onto y/n's thigh, sebastian wasn't too fond of that he shallowed thickly joining in conversation with the two but he just couldn't keep his eyes off Henry's movements with her she was this person Henry had to touch and protect it felt so different for him because Henry was never this close with y/n before, it was a lot of flirting & playing around Henry always had girlfriends and this is the longest Henry's been single for a while....is he falling for her two? His brain starting a wildfire in his mind.

An hour passed of talking together, sebastian went home leaving Henry and y/n alone, sebastian didn't even know how to feel hes trying to mend his relationships with everyone but he thinks he's now losing his chance with y/n because of Henry he asked once and he didn't get an answer, he wasn't going to ask a second time, life was weighing on him once again maybe it's over for real this time he felt it he kind of knew it to.

"What am I gonna do" she looked at the television from across her home, Henry laid his head in her lap her hands mindlessly touching his hair, he loved the feeling "Thanksgiving is coming, is he the person you want to take?"

Her mind leaving her no choice but to not answer.

×

Tagged @hiddlestonstansworld @lovely-geek @imcalledflorence @misz-adrii @escapistdreamer-wishfulthinker @someplxce @cuddlesforlashton @coffeebooksandfandomsohmy @weasley16 @ilovethewayyourheartbeats @vogueworthy-barnes @xeniarocks @thisismysecrethappyplace @racheo91 @gravedollie666 @inlovewith3 // if anyone wants to be untagged or tagged please leave a message ty♡ also I do not own any gifs or images of any kind.

[unrhymed-poetry]

One week story

So, yesterday (March 28) I've decided to uninstall my IG and Twitter and deactivated my FB so that I could focus on the whole week (March 28,2021 - April 4,2021). This is how it goesssss...

MONDAY

Today is also the start of ECQ 2.0. we had a curfew at 6PM. I am overjoyed when I heard about the curfew because that means we can go home early. But guess what? I got home at 6:30 because customers suddenly rush at our store before 6. And then we have to eat dinner. Since I'm writing tonight, no one catch us lol. But tonight it is so peaceful and quiet! I am done with my devo then I excercised and took a bath. And then while writing, I just finished writing news in Korean and going to translate it, when something comes to my mind. This aha moment came when I want to listen to IU's songs, but girllll! Her voice is too high and I can't sing her song, LOL. I have to listen and read the lyrics so that I can practice my speech. Then I realized, why don't I listen to Korean worship songs?! I opened my Spotify and saw that SuJu (I'm a fan hahah) has a worship song!!! And I got across to this Psalm 23 song (last week I memorized the chapter so I thought I could record because I know what it says). I have to remind myself that I am a kindergarten at this moment while learning Korean hehe.

This is how peaceful the night is, but before 8, power was interrupted, but thankfully it came back after 20 minutes.

TUESDAY

Day 2 naaaa. Okay magtatagalog na lang ako, sumasakit na rin ulo ko mag-English hahahah.

Okay, tonight is SOL day. And your ate is late na naman pero they are still waiting, unlike naman sa 20-25mins. na late every Tuesday. Salamat curfew, nakasali pa ako sa pa-games. What I learned tonight is that thankful ako kay Lord sa life ng mga leaders ko. Sa patience na ibinigay nila sa akin so that I can grow sa faith ko kay Lord.

Just to share what am I reading now

Super big help sa akin nito. Ang dami kong natutunan.

After the training, I exercised and drank tea. Yes, drinking tea is an achievement everyday. I bought that last year pero hindi ko pa rin nauubos! Grabe tapos may Twinnings pa ako na lasang sampaguita. Gusto ko na silang maubos para makabalik na ako sa Lipton huhu. Ayun na nga, tonight kasi a friend messaged me sa viber, she shared some post about dreams na nawala. So, while taking a bath, bigla kong naisip na, bakit jindi kami mag-Bible study?!! I need that also, and she needs it. I opened to her this idea. And while typing this, nag-uusap na kami sa time kung kelan namin gagawin 'yun. Yehey!

Anywaysssss, that's it. 10PM na at hindi pa ako nakakapag-aral hahaha. Kaya paaalam na muna. Bukas namannn mga beshy.

P.S. nagdisconnect ako sa socmed pero dito ko naman nilipat distraction ko hahahah.

WEDNESDAY

My spirit is well fed today, that's why I'm just going to share my learning today.

On our morning prayer, God reminded me that He never wastes season. All of what's happening in my life are part of His plan. And ngayon ko na lang din narerealize yun, even my bad decisions He made it for my good.

Nanuod ako ng vlog ni ToniG kanina. I am super inspired sa faith ng girl na'to. Sabi nga ni Toni na nagcocomplain tayo sa little thing in our life pero may ibang tao na matindi ang battles na pinagdadaanan.

Day 28. This book was actually given to me by my friend/officemate. Alam ko nabasa ko na 'to pero ngayon ko lang siya naintindihan. Maybe that time wala talaga yung heart ko to seek God. But I was reminded that OK lang na slowly (but strongly) yung pag-journey ko sa life. Dagdagan pa ng Bible reading ko in the book of John

Grabe naman yung YOU WILL HAVE TO SUFFER. Normal naman pala sa life yun. Pero may PERO! But cheer up! daw because Jesus defeated the world. Thank you Lord for the assurance! We need this today sa gitna ng chaos ng mundo.

Lastly, on my devo another translation said sa Ecc. 10:10 'If the iron is blunt, and one does not sharpen the edge, he must use more strength, but wisdom helps one to succeed."

I was reminded na hindi ko lang dapat laging gamitin yung strength ko but ALWAYS seek wisdom from God. Kailangang ko ring galingan sa lahat ng ginagawa ko, and I must value the time that God has given me.

Lastly na talagaaaa hahahah. Napag-alaman ko na may karibal pala ako kay Bogummy 😭 hahahaha. Kidding aside, I'm so happy meeting new people despite the pandemic. And greatest thing I learned today is that kaya siguro I'm on 'spiritual high' ( yung tipong I'm happy and filled with God's word at this time) kasi God wants to use me para sa mga kaibigan ko who are losing hope.

Hay Lord, feel me with Your wisdom and continually to speak to me.

파이팅!

THURSDAY

April 1. How I wish at the end of the day may magsasabi ng joke lang ang lahat. Coming home last night, I excercised agad, then I read Day 29 sa book na binabasa ko, and 2 chapters in the book of John.

Supposedly after that I'll do my personal devo. But before, nag-set pa ko ng to-list for today because our store is closed.

So my to-do list is consists of attending morning prayer, reviewing Korean and memorizing words, and playing my Kalimba. Last night, I'm planning to write some lessons rin. Didn't update here the same day (since I'm writing this on a Friday morning) because something happened.

So back before I'm going to do my devo, I checked my messenger/viber and mydays of my friends. Then I saw nga yung myday ng one of my ates in church. I PM'd her, ate ano ibig sabihin nun? Because she said "You will be miss." Although sa totoo lang alam ko na yung ibig sabihin nun but I have this in denial stage pa na, hindi ko maintindihan pero naiintindihan ko, that kind of thing. I activated my FB just to confirm, and even called her. And yes, it is really true.

Last Saturday, just want to remind myself na, Hebrews 12 kept on popping in my minds. It's says there na therefore we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses.... Naisip ko lang siya nun because of the people around me na, oo nga Lord, I look up to them also kasi nakikita how You worked and still working in their life, and because of their faith to You mas nag-hohope din ako at mas lumalakas. Then I remembered a friend dear to who passed away early, na still one of the heartbreaks ko, I still remember that I dreamed of her the night before she died and waking up from the text messages na wala na siya. Of course I'm sad, but looking at her life and seeing her faith to God despite she's been gone through in life na masasabi ko na, she's one of the great clouds of witnesses in my life pala.

Last night, though nung pandemic ko lang nakita si kuya pero kapag sa time nakikita ko siya sa CO natutuwa yung heart ko sa relationship ng bawat isa. Even yung mga kulit moments nila. I can't imagine the grief of those people that are close to him. Na kung ako nga affected, pano pa sila? And, as I mention earlier, I activated my FB and upon scrolling a former officemate just passed away rin, I was shocked, that time nagsi-sink sa akin na Lord hindi ko alam talaga what will happen to me, kung kelan Niyo ba ako kukunin?

What I said to Lee last night (we've talked for 4hrs, 3:30AM na ako natulog) na gusto ko kapag ako namatay masasabi niyo na, "Ay yan si Bevz nagawa niya yung purpose niya dito" and they would be comforted to the fact na I'm with God, and I'm home.

FRIDAY

Since 3:30 na ako nakatulog kagabi, I still set an alarm na 5:30 to attend MP. Napatay ko pala yung alarm ko and bigla na lang akong nagising ng quarter to 5. Mag-M-MP nga pala ako. Patapos na rin 'yung word nung naka-join ako. After prayer, Bishop spoke.haaaayyyy 😭😭😭😭😭😢💔💔💔💔💔💔💔. (No words)