#( i forgot to answer this yesterday like a fool )

[ssentimentals]

seventeen members as love tropes: jeon wonwoo

best friends to lovers

'and i was so scared to destroy it that i forgot that destruction leaves the door for something new to be built'

'okay, let's go over the list again. phone chargers and headphones?'

wonwoo tries and fails to act annoyed; he's mostly endlessly endeared by your love for all kind of check lists and your diligence in going over them at least three times. he doesn't even try to point out that bags were packed under your supervision yesterday - he's not strong enough to withstand your pouty face and he also knows how restless you get if you don't check everything again. so, he bites inside of his cheek to prevent himself from smiling like a fool and declares: 'chargers and headphones are here. what's next?'

wonwoo indulges you for the next twenty minutes, checks every single item from your list and doesn't look even a tiny bit mad when you two finish. his patience towards you has no limits, just like his desire to soothe your worries and help you feel peaceful. he zips both bags, when you sigh in relief and plop right next to him on the ground, leaning on his shoulder casually. 'thanks, woo. i know it must've been annoying, but i was anxious.'

careful not to disturb you, wonwoo moves closer to the wall to lean on it. 'it's nothing. if to ease your anxiety i have to pack and repack these bags ten times, i'd do it, you know it.'

there's a beat of silence and then your hand wraps lightly around his. 'yeah, i know.'

and you do know. it's probably one the most amazing feelings in the world - to be this assured in another person. you cannot bet on yourself, but you can bet on wonwoo when it comes to being your best friend. he's your pillar of strength, your constant support, your closest person. you never thought it's possible to be this sure in someone and yet. you never question wonwoo because he never gave you reasons to; his loyalty to you is like a pledge he wears on his skin proudly, shows it off to everyone if they ask. earth is round, sky is blue and jeon wonwoo is always there for you. it could've been so, so good if only it didn't make you want to cry.

'hey, don't fall asleep on me. you know your neck will hurt and i didn't pack that gel which always helps ease up the stiffness,' he says gently.

wonwoo is always gentle. it's not really in his nature, but by default it's how he is with you. how can he not be? you're a flower in his eyes and only gentleness and care will help you flourish (which is the only thing he wants for you). his fingers itch with desire to hold you gently as well, to cradle you in his arms and keep you safe and loved but he ignores it. wonwoo is really good at ignoring a lot of his feelings towards you, because flowers can only take gentleness and there's nothing gentle in his feelings. no, his feelings for you are close to forces of the nature in their strengths: unstoppable, uncontrollable, all-consuming. wonwoo is so gentle with you, how can he let you know that his chest is doing a god's work every time, not letting his feelings slip? they can come out and envelop you whole, leave nothing to anyone else and he.. is not like that. can't be like that with you.

'you also started getting neck pains?' you ask, lifting your head from his shoulder. you look worried, searching for something on his face.

'no, i usually carry that gel for you.' wonwoo answers easily, shrugging it off. 'just like other bunch of stuff.'

silence settles again. lately, silence started to settle much more often between you two and while usually it's a good companion, this specific kind of silence hangs heavy. this silence is filled with unspoken words and hesitance, it's charged with tension which none of you dare to break. everything always comes to its' boiling point and you can't help but think that your friendship with wonwoo is hanging by a thread and you can't tell which way it should fall: to the left, where everything will be left exactly as it is right now or to the right, where you'll be in the new territory of confessed feelings? and wonwoo feels it too, can barely sleep this last month due to this heaviness in his heart, which refuses to carry the weight of unspoken love anymore. it's funny how he never really looked for love; when you came, he also didn't look for it. but then time passed and he realized that he's not looking for love anymore not because he's not interested, but because he found it long time ago.

'will we...' you start, taking a deep breath. god, if there's anyone for who you are ready to fall, it's wonwoo. '...talk about it? about this elephant in the room?'

wonwoo's breath hitches. seconds tick away and they last for eternity, making you think that time stopped at some moment. overthinking spiral starts to draw you in, when he voices out: 'which elephant in the room? the one about me being in love with you for longer than i can remember or the one where you never gave back any of my hoodies?'

wonwoo watches as your eyes widen and how your mouth opens and then closes in shock. he watches how you collect yourself, internally applauds himself for not freaking out and keeping that beast called love inside of his chest for now.

'i- the first one.' you mutter, shaking a little. 'definitely the first one and you can also add info on why you never said anything.'

will you understand? will you get that he was actually trying to shelter you from his selfish side? will you accept that his love is too big, too real, too much for someone as delicate as you? that he held himself back for your own sake? his hesitance spurs you to take his hand in his and squeeze it gently. 'tell me. i will understand. you are my best friend, woo. first and foremost - you are my best friend.'

'and then?' he grunts, barely forcing his tongue to move.

you smile and hope grows in his chest. 'and then my boyfriend. my one and only. do you like the sound of that?'

does he like it? god, do you even know what you do to him? beast inside doesn't roar to his surprise; no, it curls up in satisfaction instead, finally calming down. oh. oh. 'i like the sound of that very much,' he musters the courage to say.

maybe he was wrong about his beast all this time. maybe his feelings never meant harm, maybe they can not only destroy, but plant something else instead. you lean in and oh, wonwoo gets it. his feelings were meant to plant more flowers, pretty flowers. just like you.

a/n: if you think that this somewhere along the way turned into something else then you'd be right, but i couldn't stop and i'm posting this anyway. let me know what you think! - nini

my other works are here

[certaimromance]

𝜗𝜚 So Close, Quantico.

Post prison Reid x Fem!reader

Read part one here!

Summary: A strange visit to the prison ends with an unexpected confession of love and makes you run away again. You were ready to leave, but maybe this time he'll make you stay.

Words: 2,5k.

TW: literally none, just drama and sweet love+emily being a bestie. english is not my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: I didn't expect to be asked for a second part because I'm still new here and I don't think anyone will read me (intrusive thoughts lol), but here I am giving it to you because Spencer needs a happy ending!

♡ Enjoy! ♡

Just as you sat down and pulled out a travel magazine to read while you waited for your flight, you got a call from Emily. You frowned and were confused for a few seconds until you remembered that you hadn't told her that you were going back to London so soon and that the possibility of having a drink together would not be fulfilled. You hadn't even said goodbye in person, and it was only now that you realized it.

You hadn't noticed anything after working on Spencer's case for four days straight and losing your mind over it. It was the first time you hadn't seen your client or personally briefed him on the progress of the investigation, and that impersonality made everything strange, but you knew he didn't want to see you, and you weren't going to push him. At least you managed to get him released on parole after you found some evidence of third party involvement in his alleged crime. And as soon as you were informed of this decision, you assigned a trusted lawyer to the case, booked a flight, and packed your bags.

“Don't hate me, but I'm about to catch a flight and I forgot to tell you.” You said quickly as soon as the call started and you could hear a sigh of shock from the other end.

“You what? Why? You just got here and we haven't even had a chance to talk and drink wine.” She replied after a few minutes of processing the information.

“I'm really sorry, Ems. I have things to do at my office and my work here is already done.” You tried to explain as you fiddled with the hem of your skirt. You didn't like the idea of looking like you were running away again, even if you were. “I really have to go.”

“You have or you want?”

The question alone made you sigh and question being best friends with a profiler. It was impossible to hide your feelings and thoughts from her.

“It doesn't matter...anyway, you can visit me whenever you want, I have plenty of wine at home.” You spoke trying to avoid her question at all costs. “Penelope and JJ can come, girls' night out and all.”

“And Spencer...?” She asked in a cautious tone, knowing that this was a complicated subject. After all, Emily was the one who had to put up with your sighing and crying over Reid for years.

“He's not a girl.”

You could almost see her roll her eyes at your answer, and by the tone of her voice when she told you she meant it, you knew she did.

“Seeing him was as strange as I imagined, but confirming that he doesn't want to see me and that he hates me felt worse than I thought. I have to face this from a distance.” You tried to explain and put into words the feelings you were avoiding.

“He doesn't hate you, and he definitely wants to see you.” She corrected you, making you frown.

“What? Please don't try to make me feel better with emotional profiling tricks.” You said wearily, looking up at the big screen with the flight schedules and realizing that it was still more than half an hour before your plane was due to arrive.

“These are not tricks. Seriously, if he didn't want to see you, he wouldn't have asked me for your hotel address yesterday.”

Your heart stopped at that moment, and any attempt to focus your attention on something else, or even keep your cool, failed. You didn't want to get your hopes up again and sound like a fool for getting excited about something so minimal.

“I'm not even at the hotel anymore, and he never went there.” You tried to control your nervousness and conceal how this information had thrown you. “Ems, my flight arrives in 30 minutes, I have to leave you, but I promise to call you more often and visit you sometime. I love you.” You ended in a chaotic way.

“Well, me too. But don't disappear, I'll wait for that girls' night.” She replied, defeated by your insistence, and paused before speaking again. “And tell Reid we have a case in Utah, we're leaving in 30.”

“What?” You asked immediately, not understanding if you had heard wrong, but she had already hung up.

You looked up again, expecting to see the central screen with the schedules, but instead of seeing your flight number in bright letters, you saw Spencer's brown eyes searching for you a few feet away. You had to blink several times to confirm that it was him and that you weren't hallucinating, and only then did Emily's last words make sense.

Was he here to see you? Was it possible?

You remained motionless in your seat, as if bound to it, and watched as Reid walked at a brisk pace straight towards you. It was the first time you had seen him since that chaotic visit to the prison, and you still had a bittersweet taste in your mouth from that interaction. He was wearing a suit now, probably the clothes he wore to work, and he looked like he had run several miles, judging by his disheveled hair and labored breathing.

“What are you doing here?” You asked as soon as you had him in front of you, rising from your seat to be at his height even though you were several inches shorter.

“I needed to talk to you for days and you never came to see me again.” He explained, still trying to regulate his breathing after searching for you all over the airport. “About what you told me before you left.”

“I didn't come back because you made it clear that you didn't want to see me, and I respected your wish.” You explained as calmly as you could. “And as for what I said, there's no need to talk about it. It's outdated and I shouldn't have brought it up.”

You saw him sigh and fidget chaotically for a second before he spoke again. He seemed nervous, as if he had rehearsed the conversation a thousand times in his mind.

“I need to talk about this. You told me you were in love with me...I just found out and I couldn't stop thinking about it, it's stuck in my head because you never told me.” He tried to speak slowly, but it was as if the old Spencer you once knew had reappeared and started babbling. “You said you were leaving because you were offered a better position and you were bored with this job, you never mentioned that...that you liked me.”

“My flight leaves in less than 30 minutes, I can't talk now.” You tried to get out of the situation, but he gently grabbed your arm before you could escape. And with a sigh, you spoke again. “Good. I never told you how much I liked you, but that doesn't change anything.”

You pulled away from his touch and putting your hands on your bags so you could leave soon.

“It changes. It really changes everything.”

“What? How?” You dropped the suitcases and looked at him in confusion.

He remained silent for a few seconds, looking at the clock on the bright screen above you, trying to use the little time he had to talk to you and express himself. He felt the words catch in his throat, and it was a disappointment after having only you as the protagonist of all his thoughts since you had visited him, pushing away any possibility of holding a grudge against you because the only thing on his mind was doubt about what would have happened if he had known.

Spencer had spent so many years locked in hate, trying to hold a grudge against you for leaving, leaving nothing but torturous memories in an eidetic memory and a ridiculous need for a hug from you every time things went wrong. And suddenly you showed up, looking as beautiful as ever, saving him from a traumatic experience and delivering information he never expected.

He had only been free for a few days and yet everyone looked at him differently, from pity to fear, knowing that prison had changed him forever. But not you, you looked at him as if he were the same as always, even though years had passed and you had only seen his worst face again.

“If I had known...if you had told me I...” He stammered, trying to find some courage to stop feeling like the same young man you had left. “You would know that I felt the same way.”

At that moment, you almost had to sit up again because of the impression his words had made on you. You closed your eyes and opened them again to make sure that you were not hallucinating and that it was really the one you had been dreaming about for years who was telling you that he also felt something for you before.

“You don't have to lie...no, don't lie to me like that just because I got you out of jail.” You started to blurt out, completely denying the strong beating of your heart.

“I appreciate you doing this, but I won't lie to you. I could never do something like this.” He assured you, looking you straight in the eye for confirmation. “And if you don't believe me, I can tell you exactly when I first realized I liked you, it was November 8, 2005, it was 11:35 in the morning because I looked at the clock. You had completed your third month with us and you went to talk to Gideon and Hotch because you wanted to get out in the field and stop doing paperwork. You were so nervous about getting fired that you grabbed my hand before you left, but you didn't notice because you were busy listening to my comments about your performance. I thought it was nothing and that I was just nervous because you were the only one I was talking to and I was afraid of losing you, but before you left you smiled at me and I knew everything was going to be okay. Again I thought it was nothing...but every time things went wrong I thought about it, I still do because that smile is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.”

“I...” You tried to speak and formulate even one word, but it kept getting stuck in your throat.

“Wait, I'm not done yet.” He interrupted you, saving you from a possible babble. “I never told you because I thought you didn't feel the same way and that you saw me as a younger brother to be taken care of. I'd rather have you as a friend than not have you at all, so I left it in my mind as an impossibility and I thought I was completely over it until you left and I lost my mind...and it's happening again.”

“God, I need to sit down.” It was all you could say at the time as you tried to process everything he said.

You sat down with his help and watched him relax a little as he finished speaking, as if he had waited a long time to say it and had practiced it many times. You felt your heart pound after years of dreaming of hearing those words from him. You had never imagined a life where Spencer felt anything more than friendship for you, and now it was real. He had loved you as much as you wanted, and you had been too blind to see it before other people came along.

“I know it's been years since you got over me and that I was a jerk to you when you came to see me, but you need to know that ever since I saw you I couldn't stop thinking about what my life would have been like if I had told you from the beginning.” He spoke again, trying to look closely at you to decipher what was going through your mind. “I'm sorry, I'm really sorry if this has upset you or...”

“Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that?” You said, still surprised, taking the opportunity to get up from your chair.

“I'm sorry, I know it's too late and now you're going to leave again, but this time I'm here to ask you not to do it again.” He came over and took you by the hands, bending down a little to be at your level, as if he was begging you. “And I know it's selfish because you have to go and you have a life away, but I really...”

“Spencer.” You stopped him before he started babbling, and he looked at you anxiously for your answer. “It's not too late.”

“Really?” He asked, as if he could not believe he had heard you correctly.

“Really.”

You gave him a small smile of affirmation and felt your eyes glaze over with emotion as you felt him release your hands and grab your cheeks to wipe away the stray tear that had fallen. The look of tenderness he gave you along with his touch made you tremble.

“Are you planning to kiss me already or are you going to wait 13 more years?” You spoke without even thinking.

He didn't have to think once before closing the distance between you and fulfilling the longing that had been in your mind for so long. You couldn't say anything because his lips had been on yours before and the first contact had almost made you melt. His hands were still on your cheeks, but one of them went down to your waist to pull you closer and make sure you were real.

Your lips tasted like cherries and that made him smile immediately in the middle of the kiss, thinking that you were still wearing the same lipstick that you had applied in front of him so many times and that he had only dreamed of tasting. Finally, the reality was far better than any fantasy and the softness mixed with the intensity of a repressed love during the kiss because finally the stars had aligned for the two of you.

“Are you going to go out on a date with me?” He asked as soon as you both parted.

“I have a girls' night out first.” You replied, letting it be known that you were tired of running away. “But I'd love to go on a date with you.”

He came over and gave you a quick kiss before you could say anything else. You returned the kiss and then pulled away, putting your arms around his neck.

“You're kissing me like this before the first date?” You joked, still trapped in the bubble of love you felt you were in.

“I don't intend to wait any longer now that I have you here.” He responded by giving you a kiss on the head and wrapping his arms around you to hug you. “So please don't go away for 6 years again.”

“I don't plan to go anywhere now.”

[wndaswife]

matriarchal disturbance | wanda maximoff & fem!reader

Iryna Maximoff pays her daughter a visit, and Wanda must learn to balance living with her ever-complicated mother while navigating her rocky relationship with you, her stepdaughter.

Word count: 14 615

Tags: smut, angst, fluff, family issues, infidelity, age gap, strap-ons, cunnilingus, spanking, hair-pulling, praise, degradation, slight cnc, impact play, mention of somnophilia, mommy kink, sub!wanda maximoff, dom!reader. MINORS DNI.

You sped down the stairs and slung your backpack over your shoulder, hoping to avoid your dad and stepmother on the way out. The rapid padding of your feet prompted Wanda to force herself out of her husband’s arms as you passed the kitchen.

“Y/N?” she called out, listening close to how you walked over to the front door. Wanda rounded Vision and headed over to you. You were leaned over, pulling your shoes on with a backpack hanging from your shoulder. Wringing her hands around the dish towel she was holding, Wanda asks, “Are you going somewhere?”

You stalled with some stuttered hesitation in hopes of leaving and talking with your stepmother as little as possible. But you watched the way she stayed planted in front of you and you still had another shoelace to tie. “Yeah, going out, forgot to tell dad,” you answered finally.

“I can drive you if you’d like. Vis can finish making dinner,” she offered, and you saw her playing with her fingers when you looked up slightly from beyond your eyebrows. She was always trying to make some excuse to spend time with you. But you wouldn’t let her. Not unless you were forced.

The afternoon could be recalled as clearly as if it were yesterday. Months of getting close with your dad’s new girlfriend, gentle caresses and passing longing glances, excuses to get each other alone, delicate kisses exchanged, vows of love, all tossed away as delusion the moment her engagement to your dad was announced. He had his hand on her knee, Wanda’s hands wringing around uncomfortably in her lap as she anticipated your answer. 

Suddenly, you had no idea what to do with all the months you spent loving Wanda. She lost her virginity when she was sixteen to a senior at the back of his truck. She won a spelling bee contest when she was ten. She broke one of her ribs once when she was a young child hanging out of her father’s moving car.

What were you to do with knowledge like that?

Information about her that you held close to your heart for whatever reason, a pride you felt in knowing her and having been able to watch her face as she recalled stories of her life. She was once a grand and beautiful constellation, each day spent with her discovering one of the many stars she was made of. 

She made you feel and look like a fool — a lovesick puppy blinded by the thrill of first love. You hated her for it, and you hated her all the more when she made those pathetic attempts to make it up to you.

“I’m walking,” you told her and straightened to take your sweater from the coat rack.

“Walking? Is it far?”

Hoping that your brief response would suffice, you answered, “No.”

“Are you sure?” she pressed on.

“Wanda, I told you — I’m walking,” you repeated, meeting her eyes. She nodded and stepped to the side to let you open the front door. The stability of her relationship with you was precarious and she wouldn’t think twice before yielding to maintain what closeness she had left with you after her marriage to your father.

You didn’t believe there was much, if any at all, but you imagined that Wanda liked to hold onto the idea that there was.

Before you could step off the porch and finally make some space between you and home, Wanda called from behind you and asked if you were planning on being back home before dinner. You replied with something vague for you didn’t feel like thinking about when you wanted to be home, and you didn’t want to give your stepmother the benefit of knowing your plans.

Pretending to be content in spite of her lack of a role in your personal life, Wanda refrained from asking anything else and let you go without another word.

Several days ago, Vision suggested that you start calling Wanda something along the lines of ‘mom.’ Your father had initially argued against your refusal, insisting that it was time you started behaving maturely rather than acting like a rebellious teenager. Wanda was quick to defend you, but you were already cutting your meal short, heading to the sink to wash your dishes before going out for a drive.

Even if you had stayed seated while Wanda vouched for you, she was convinced you wouldn’t have been listening anyways. You hardly responded to her when she spoke to you, you didn’t even look up. Typically, it took urging from your father to even get her messages across.

Dinner was dull when you didn’t come home later that night. Things normally were when it was only her and Vision at home. Interaction between you and your stepmother was scarce, but knowing that you were home, having you for meals and seeing you occasionally when you came downstairs brought Wanda great deals of joy and comfort. She loved it when you were home from school.

It never crossed her mind how you interpreted her attempts at becoming close with you again, for she always had faith that you’d warm up to her eventually. She knew she had hurt you when she married Vision though she’d been dating him for months prior to the marriage. But she believed that what the two of you had was special. 

You were one of the reasons she felt assured in the decision to marry Vision. Things would be different, but she’d always have you. Wanda strongly believed that although things couldn’t return to precisely what used to be before her engagement, it would take a bit of effort to eventually return to the trust and affinity the two of you used to have for each other.

She hadn’t meant to lose you in marrying your father, and she wasn’t planning on it. She promised to herself to be a good stepmother, although she felt lost at times without a maternal figure to rely on for an example of how to provide for you as you needed.

These days, Wanda thought of Iryna a lot more than she used to. In her failures to earn your affection, she worried she was becoming more and more like her own mother. She had no one to ask advice from and in spite of her tumultuous childhood, Wanda caught herself wishing she had the kind of relationship with her mother in which she could simply call her and ask her for help.

Iryna and her daughter talked a few times perhaps every three months. Their communication was irregular and when they did talk, phone calls would consist of Iryna asking a few obligatory questions about Wanda’s life and listening to answers she didn’t truly care about hearing before the topic was swiftly changed to Pietro, Wanda’s twin brother. 

Pietro was part of a travelling soccer team, having firstly started his soccer practices for a few hours after school when he and Wanda were only children, and was now making his way towards his dream of earning a spot with his team representing their home country in the Olympics. He and Wanda texted a lot more regularly than she and Iryna, and unlike their mother, Pietro attended Wanda and Vision’s wedding a few months ago. 

They were close, and it was only different paths of life that put space between them. Even so, the distance was merely physical as the twins continued to maintain their close connection.

Though they had a strong bond, Wanda truly found herself rather bored listening to her mother drone on about how successful Pietro was in his most recent games, listening to all the countries he’d been travelling to and the games she attended. She’d heard it all from him anyways, but what was more was that Iryna travelled around the world to see Pietro, a total of seven different countries to watch his games and spend time with her favourite child, yet could not even bother to attend her daughter’s wedding.

Wanda was once a favourite of her father before he passed when they were young, and it was no secret that Pietro was always mama’s favourite, even after there became only one parent to share between the both of them. In spite of how the two of them knew Iryna favoured her son over her daughter, any and all of Wanda’s conflicted feelings had always been directed towards her mother rather than towards Pietro. It was miraculous, in a way, that they’d maintained such a close relationship over the years. But Wanda loved Pietro as he did her. It was only her mother that made her feel heaps of unease and burrowed in her years of unresolved insecurities. 

Sitting in the living room with a movie playing on the television though she wasn’t entirely paying attention to it, Wanda wondered about what you were doing. When putting on the movie that was currently only being partially-watched, Wanda hoped she’d be able to catch you coming in to make sure you got home safe. She supposed you were seeing your friends, which you were, but she wondered about what you might be doing with them.

Was it cold out? Did you end up wearing that sweater you brought with you? Would you be back tonight or tomorrow? She wanted to text you something brief asking how you were, but if you wouldn’t have a conversation with her the next time you were home about how you didn’t like for her to be pushy with you, you wouldn’t respond to her text at all, which likely would’ve made her even more worried. 

Her head perked up from her phone when a knock came at the door. She checked the time on her cellphone — it was ten-forty in the evening — before setting it down and heading to the front door and opening it.

Where Wanda expected to see you waiting on the porch stood her mother instead, the handles of two travel luggages in each hand. She felt a strange mix of dread and a kind of frozen pause that came over her body, making her unsure how to react aside from blinking at her mother with parted lips in disbelief.

“Aren’t you going to take my bags?” Iryna asked, urging them forward. 

“O-Oh, yes,” Wanda stuttered, leaning down to take them by their handles. She wheeled them towards her then lifted them up into the front foyer.

Sighing, her mother stepped into the house. “Mannerless child,” she bit passively as she looked around at the house and the living room. 

Wanda asked, “Mama, what are you doing here?” She locked the front door and turned to her mother who continued to survey the house with a great deal of scrutiny. 

“A mother can’t visit her own child?” 

Playing with her fingers in front of her stomach, Wanda said quietly, “You didn’t even come to my wedding, mama. You want to visit me now?”

“Yes,” Iryna answered, looking at her daughter with her head tipped upwards slightly. “You’d like me to leave, then? Give me my bags.”

Wanda blurted out a ‘no,’ before she stepped towards Iryna and let go of the bags. “I’m happy that you’re here, mama. I really am.” She wrapped her arms around her mother’s shoulders and gave her a hug. 

Her mother was never one for physical affection, though Wanda always was; it was one of the reasons she loved how close she was with you before — you were equally as physically affectionate with her. Wanda missed it. It didn’t feel nearly the same with Vision.

In all honesty, she’d never loved being touched and hugged by anyone as much as she did with you. It was a strangely specific preference, but you always made her feel like you wanted only to be close with her when you held her hand or kissed her cheek. 

To be wanted like that… It felt amazing. She’d only ever felt it with you. She only ever had a place when she was with you.  

She pulled away and smiled at her mother. “How is Pietro?” Wanda asked though she knew how he was as the last she spoke to him was that afternoon. But Iryna’s mood always seemed to lighten when her favourite child was brought up.

The two of them sat on the living room couch, the movie on the television paused, while Iryna went into detail about her trip to Madrid during which she visited Pietro that she’d just come back from. Wanda sat in silence, nodding and listening and occasionally making comments.

It was nearly an hour of listening to Iryna’s recount of her trip and her doting adoration and pride of her only son before the front door was unlocked. You stepped into the house and Wanda’s head perked up. She looked you over quickly and was then relieved at the sight of you — a sweater on and zipped up and even one of your hats from your backpack pulled onto your head. 

Wanda stood from the couch as your eyes darted between her and her mother. “Y/N, this is my mother, Iryna,” she introduced. She’d never talked about her mother before, and all you knew of her was what you supposed after her lack of presence at your stepmother’s wedding. 

She looked like Wanda, in some ways, though her stare was cunning and her eyes frighteningly calculating. A part of you couldn’t believe that the soft-spoken Wanda and her free-spirited twin brother were born from a woman like this.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said finally, taking off your hat and unzipping your sweater. 

“Likewise,” Iryna replied with a cordial nod. 

Wanda felt nervous suddenly, recalling all the times she turned to her mother for advice in communicating with you. She hardly ever went to her mother for help about anything after her high school years, but after being newly-married and becoming a stepmother, she had initially relied on Iryna for help in trying to become closer with you. Her advice was poor and mostly judgemental of her inability to parent, so Wanda soon ceased bringing you up to her.

There was also always something strangely disconcerting about having her mother know things about you. Wanda felt possessive of the knowledge of you and felt uncomfortable that a woman like Iryna knew the kind of person you were and of her once-close relationship with you. 

Now, she felt rather uneasy watching the two of you interact. Iryna was indeed a cunning woman and unnecessarily conniving at times, and Wanda’s relationship with you couldn’t take any more pressure. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you,” Wanda said when you didn’t head upstairs, hoping that you’d leave and spend as little time as possible with Iryna. You gave an awkward smile to her mother and bid her a goodnight before turning and heading up the stairs to your bedroom. “Goodnight, Y/N. Sweet dreams,” she called softly from the living room. 

You caught sight of the two travelling luggages by the front door as you headed up and you dreaded the next unspecified while until Iryna left. You didn’t have any problems with her, but you were certain that you’d have to get to know her and spend a bit of time with her to be friendly, and that undoubtedly meant you’d have to spend more time with your stepmother.

Wanda and her mother spoke for a little longer as you could hear bits of their conversation while you were getting ready in the washroom. Later on, Wanda carried Iryna’s bags up the stairs and you listened to her lead her mother up to the guest room.

“How long are you planning on staying with us?” you heard Wanda’s muffled question through your bedroom door as she walked through the hallway and towards the extra room. Iryna told her that she’d stay for about two weeks before she’d need Wanda to drive her to the airport so she could take her booked flight back to Russia. 

Two weeks. 

You figured it wouldn't be too bad if you filled up the next little while doing anything else but being at home. 

You were awoken in the morning hearing the stifled shouts of your father from his and Wanda’s bedroom down the hall. He got pretty loud when he felt like it, he really did, and he was rather prone to being overdramatic when he was upset. 

On the night of their wedding, Vision’s family brought up what a perfect match Wanda was for him, how perfectly her sensitive attitude complemented his. In a way it was true, but mostly it just made you roll your eyes. The pair was painfully traditional.

You supposed he was upset about Wanda’s mother staying over without any notice. If you had a say in the argument, words of advice that would matter at all, perhaps you’d make a comment in defence of Wanda solely to argue against your dad. You imagined your words wouldn’t matter much to your stepmother anyways, who disregarded you to marry a man you always thought she never felt much sentiment for. It was he that she chose over you, anyways. Who were you to stand up for her?

Now that you were awake listening to the muffled words of their ongoing argument, you figured you wouldn’t be getting back to sleep, so you climbed out of bed and headed downstairs to have breakfast.

To your surprise, Wanda’s mother was sitting at the dining room table eating buttered toast with a book in hand. Feeling chilled by the sight of her tranquillity, you poured yourself a bowl of cereal and had no choice but to sit down across from her at the dining table lest she think you were intentionally avoiding her.

“Good morning,” she greeted, looking up from her book and setting it down by her plate. You met her eyes and smiled at her before returning her friendly greeting. “A mismatched pair, no?” Iryna said, indirectly referencing the argument upstairs. 

When you stared at her for a moment slightly stunned by her overt criticism, she darted her eyes up at the ceiling where Wanda and Vision were arguing upstairs before looking back down to you. “Oh,” you answered, feigning an onset of realisation. “They’re okay.”

Iryna said, “Wanda never had children of her own. I always told her she married too late. I do not intend to offend you, but I take it you aren’t very close with my daughter.” She chewed on a bit of her toast and swallowed.

“Uh, no, not very,” you answered. You had no intention of being rude to her, but you weren’t sure how to approach her questions. It seemed to you that her words held more weight than she was letting on, and you felt you had to choose your words carefully around her.

“In my own experience, I found it difficult to connect with her at times,” she recalled, cleaning the tips of her fingers from crumbs and moving her empty plate to the side.

You mentioned, “But you’re visiting her here, so that means you must be sort of close.”

“An obligation to check up on one’s daughter. It’s been many years since I’ve seen Wanda in-person. You know of her brother?”

Your eyebrows came together as you tried recalling his name. “Pietro?”

“Indeed. Successful boy. I just returned from visiting him in Madrid. It was a rude awakening coming here to see Wanda.”

“Why?” you asked, feeling strangely interested in Iryna’s recount of Wanda. 

With a sardonic chuckle, Iryna replied, “She’s an unaccomplished housewife, devochka.”

Wanda eventually headed downstairs from the argument while your dad was no doubt fuming in the bedroom, trying to cool down before having to eat breakfast at some point and face his mother-in-law. She sighed heavily as she stepped into the kitchen looking exasperated, a hand running through her hair.

She caught sight of you and Iryna sitting at the table and she froze, her eyes darting between the two of you. “Mama,” she greeted cautiously before smiling at you. Her smile was brief as it dissipated when she looked over her shoulder to her mother. “What are you two talking about?”

“Nothing important, Wanda,” Iryna said and lifted her cup of coffee to her lips. She watched as her daughter turned and began boiling water for herself. You looked up from your bowl of cereal subtly as she eyed Wanda with a certain scrutiny that made even you uncomfortable, and Iryna wasn’t even looking in your direction. “What was the argument about?” she then asked suddenly.

Taken off guard, Wanda hesitated, “What?”

“The argument,” her mother pressed, a deceiving lightness to her tone in spite of her blunt questioning. “Upstairs. We could all hear it down here.” 

From the corner of your eye, you could see Wanda look over at you, seemingly searching for confirmation, questioning if you really did hear her argument upstairs with Vision. But you refused to make eye contact with her — all you wanted was to get the hell out of that kitchen as soon as you could.

She cleared her throat and prepared her mug for her hot water and placed a teabag of berry tea into it. “It was nothing,” she answered. “It was about work.”

“Not your place of work though, I’d presume,” Iryna asked innocently, though she knew Wanda wasn’t working, and Wanda knew that she knew. Wanda flushed in embarrassment at her mother’s words that held a great deal of criticism despite the benign way they were spoken, and you felt that Iryna was humiliating her on purpose. 

“N… No,” she answered finally, looking down at her empty mug and fiddling idly with the teabag’s string. 

Humming in a way that could be interpreted as Iryna feeling satisfied with the way she chastised her daughter out of the blue, she took a sip of her coffee and picked up her book again.

“Y/N, how was your night out yesterday?” Wanda asked, pouring her boiled water into her mug and looking over at you. 

You weighed the pros and cons of brushing her off with a dismissive response, answering her honestly, or standing up from your seat abruptly and running out of the house like you wanted to do since the moment Iryna made that comment about the argument upstairs.

A part of you felt bad for the passes Wanda had to endure, so while you stirred your spoon around in your bowl of milk, you answered, “It was fine. I met with some friends at this bar. It was slam poetry night.”

Wanda asked curiously, “You presented some of your things?” 

“No.”

“You should. I think you’re a really talented writer.”

The compliment sent chills up your spine and you quickly downed the milk left in your bowl then stood to wash your dishes in the sink. You recalled sharing some of your pieces with Wanda when you first became close with her — a symbol of your trust in her. 

“Will you be going out today too? I was thinking of heading to that greenhouse you like. You could help me pick out some things for the garden now that the snow’s all melted and it’s gotten warm out,” she offered, her spoon weaving in and out from between her fingers.

The mention of the greenhouse made you tense, for it was a common place you and Wanda liked to stop at when you had time for yourselves as an excuse to browse the vast greenhouse gardens hand-in-hand. 

“Yeah, I’m going out later this afternoon,” you replied quietly. “Sorry.” 

You looked over at Wanda and smiled briefly as to not seem abrasive before putting your clean dishes on the rack. You said goodbye to Iryna and quickly made your way out of the kitchen — finally — and headed upstairs before Wanda could reply.

A sense of anxiety settled within Wanda as she watched you scurry away. Her eyes immediately went to her mother. “What did you tell her, mama?” Wanda asked, trying her best to restrain the amount of unease she felt as she let her mind wander. 

Her worry was certainly not at all assuaged when she saw the way Iryna sat at the dining table with a complacent expression. 

“You are not a teenager anymore. Do not worry yourself with gossip and adolescent concerns,” Iryna dismissed though it seemed she found amusement in disregarding her daughter.

Wanda placed her mug down on the table and replied, “Which implies that there was gossip to be told.”

“Maybe yes, maybe no.”

“Mama,” Wanda urged, not yet taking a seat at the table and staring down at her mother.

Iryna scoffed and put her book down before looking up at her. “Prekrati, Wanda. Let it go. I told her nothing she didn’t already know.”

Pulling out her seat, Wanda lowered herself onto the chair, feeling like a sulking child in the shadow of her mother like she always has. “I can’t have her being any more upset with me,” she said quietly.

“You will live without the validation of a child,” Iryna replied bitterly.

Wanda didn’t respond to that. She only set her tea bag aside once it was finished steeping and drank from her cup, feeling weighed down by her mother’s criticisms as they lingered heavily in the silence of the kitchen. 

The next few days passed with you making any and every excuse to get out of the house, much to Wanda’s dismay. She hoped desperately to have some sort of interaction with you that was greater than those that took place in brief passing; you were always busy, you always had somewhere to go or something to do.

One afternoon when you had nowhere in particular to go but a quiet spot in the library closeby, an argument began between Iryna and Wanda downstairs in the living room. Your bedroom door was ajar while you were doing work at your desk, and you could hear Wanda trying to keep her mother quiet as her voice started to rise. Your stepmother was a sequence of hushed whispers and pleads for her to speak quieter for Wanda knew you were upstairs. 

You tensed the moment you heard Iryna hiss out a string of angry Russian curses and you stood from your desk and tiptoed to your bedroom door. Carefully, you closed the door slow enough as to not be heard from downstairs. Then you sat back at your desk, hoping that they’d cease their arguing so you could leave for the library as soon as you could.

The last thing you wanted to do was get in the middle of them again.

After about an hour when you were sure their arguing came to an end, you crept downstairs, staring at the closed door of the guest room as you did to ensure you didn’t signal to Iryna your presence passing through the hallway.

Vision was always rather fastidious about having you ask Wanda for permission to go out when he wasn’t home, which you found pretty ridiculous considering you were now in your last years in college still needing permission from someone in the house to go out. But over time you gave in, finding that exchanging a few words with your stepmother wasn't as bad as having to listen to lectures from your father about safety and obedience.

He’d be home soon, but you were more likely to get the green light from Wanda, who more or less could not bear saying no to you.

You raked through the living room and the kitchen, and even called downstairs for her. Eventually, you found Wanda in the garden on her knees repotting a few flowers from the greenhouse she invited you to a few days ago.

She was wearing a pair of ankle-length jeans and a black blouse with sleeves rolled up to her elbows, a sun hat, and her gardening gloves. Her hair was tied back and out of her face aside from some loose strands as she leaned over and dug some space for her tomato seeds. 

“Wanda,” you said when you stepped past the open sliding door and into the garden. She looked up from the ground at you, one hand wrapped around the handle of a gardening hoe and the other knuckle-deep in a pile of mulch. 

Some stupidly-sentimental part of you wished you were as close as you used to be with her last spring because you would’ve never let down the image of her on her knees looking like a total dork with her fingers in a pile of dirt and a massive sun hat on her head. 

You looked away and distracted yourself from the thought as you ran your eyes over the things she bought from the greenhouse. “I’m going out to see a few friends on Friday. Probably won’t be back until Saturday afternoon,” you told her. 

“What will you be doing?” she asked.

“Carol’s hosting this big party at her house, so we’re going.”

Wanda stood up and laid her gloves down on a flower pot. She brushed a speck of mulch off from her cheek with the back of her finger. “I think you should spend more time on your studies,” she said. Her words nearly made you scoff out a laugh, but you were more confused than anything, so you just looked at her.

Continuing on, she added, “You’re never home, and your Spring Break is nearly over. If you were responsible, you’d use what time you have left here to stay home and study.”

“Where is this coming from?” you inquired incredulously. Not only did Wanda hardly ever criticise you for anything, but this was completely out-of-character for her. The strict authoritarian figure didn’t suit her. It made you hate her even more, in fact. “Dad tell you to say this?”

“No,” she replied. There was a hint of uncertainty in her speech, and you felt that though she Wanda was speaking, it sounded like the words were coming from someone entirely different. You weren’t as close with her as you used to be, but this was certainly not Wanda speaking. “I’m just saying that-that you’re a bright girl with a promising future, and I would want to see you take advantage of that instead of… wasting your time.”

You argued, “Wasting my time? It’s one party. And it’s Spring Break. I never do things like this at school anyways.”

Your raised voice seemed to make Wanda hesitate as she spoke her next words a bit more quietly. “But what about that thing at your campus on Friday?” she questioned.

“What?”

“The club enrollment event.”

From what you knew when you looked over the information sheet briefly, it was an evening event on campus showcasing a bunch of different sports teams, sororities, and frats gathering up members for the second half of the semester. There’d be food stands and games. It was a pretty big deal. But you’d never brought it up to Wanda before.

Your eyebrows stitched together in confusion. “How do you know about that?”  

Wanda stuttered and ran her hands down her blouse, seemingly reprehensible. “You told me,” she answered.

You straightened defensively at the realisation of where she could’ve heard about the event. “You looked through my things!”

“N-No! I didn’t. Your things were just face-up on the dining table when I passed and I saw the flyer,” Wanda reasoned, desperate to have your anger subdued. 

You replied sternly, “I’m not going to that. And stop going through my stuff!”

Suddenly, a voice interjected itself into the conversation and your dad popped himself into the garden through the open sliding door. “What event are we talking about?” he asked, looking up at you as he stepped down and kissed his wife’s temple, greeting her after just come back from work. 

“Nothing, just some stupid thing at school,” you dismissed. You looked away from the married couple and at the furthest wooden fence at the back of the garden. You wondered what Wanda and your dad would do if you suddenly just took off running and ran straight through the fence and didn’t stop running until you were two or three cities over. 

But then eventually you’d have no place to go, and you didn’t exactly have your wallet with you at the moment. Or your phone. Your dad and Wanda would catch up after a while. Even in your wildest imagination, you’d still have to face the reality of eventually having to deal with your dad’s scolding. That made you even more upset. 

“You should go,” your father advised carelessly without even knowing what the event was for. 

“Dad, it’s nothing. It’s for, like, clubs and stuff. It doesn’t matter.”

Wanda was silent in the shadow of your father, wordlessly listening in on the topic she brought up, the conversation she started. If she wasn't acting like herself then, she was now. Typical for her to start something then leave right in the middle of it just to flee behind your father’s back. 

You weren’t the greatest fan of hers, but the angrier you got with your stepmother, the more you felt yourself sympathising with Iryna. 

“She doesn’t have to go, Vis,” Wanda spoke up, brushing her hand against his as if to nudge him into being more lenient.

“When is it?” he asked, completely ignoring her.

Wanda answered, “It’s Friday, but—”

“Perfect,” he exclaimed. Then he looked at you. “If it’s for school, you should bring your stepmother. I’d go but there’s a conference I have to attend after work.” He kissed the top of Wanda’s head then walked back up the stairs to the house.

“Dad, I don’t want to go!” you protested, turning to look at him.

Not stopping once to look back at you aside from waving his hand over his shoulder, he answered sternly, “I won’t hear it. Wanda’s bringing you and I expect pictures. It’s for school, Y/N, and you’re an adult. It’s time you started taking responsibility for your education.” He shut the sliding door and left you and Wanda in tense silence.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” she apologised, stepping forward. “I didn’t mean for him to hear, I just… I wanted to go with you. I wanted to see your school and… your friends and professors. I want to be part of your life.”

You turned to her, a cross expression on your face. “I haven’t seen my friends from here, any of them, in months.”

Wanda apologised again and reached for your hand, but you stepped back from her. “I really am sorry. I-I can still drive you to your party instead.”

“He isn’t going to let me go.”

She reasoned desperately, “It doesn’t matter, I’m the one who’s driving you.”

You made a comment referencing how strict Vision was, and Wanda silently understood the sentiment. All she’d been hearing from him was his complaints and arguments about how irresponsible she was, letting Iryna stay without notice. He wasn’t used to not having a say in everything, although Wanda hadn’t even known she was coming, and he didn’t let a day pass without letting her know it. 

“I won’t force you,” Wanda spoke quietly.

“I don’t have a choice,” you told her before opening the sliding door. But before you stepped into the house, you turned to look at your stepmother, who was looking up at you guiltily. 

“You want to talk about how much ‘time’ I have left here?” you said. “You and dad are lucky that I come home at all. I wasn’t sure about keeping my distance until the end of the semester, but I’ve made up my mind. You’re right — I’ll be responsible.”

Wanda’s expression seemed to be racked with an incredible amount of regret and her lips parted to say something before you shut the sliding door and left without another word.

That wasn’t the first time you and Wanda have argued, but it was the first time that she ever kept her distance from you rather than only the other way around. She seemed extremely troubled by your interaction with her that afternoon, and would not even look up from what she was doing to meet your eyes when you walked into any room she was in. 

You told yourself it didn’t matter, for when you left for your campus’ event, you vowed to yourself that you wouldn’t be home until your Summer Break started.

Friday eventually came around and Wanda once again made attempts to be friendly with you, albeit nervous and hesitant. About twenty minutes before you had to leave, a knock came at your door while you were making your bed before you had to leave. Wanda opened the door and looked into your room, seeing your two packed luggages and your now half-empty room. 

A certain feeling of despair settled within her as she looked at your room knowing this would be the last time until the end of your semester that she’d see you here. 

Quietly, she asked, “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” you answered blandly, adjusting your pillows.

“Okay. I’ll wait in the car,” your stepmother replied. 

There was a silence that came after her words and you could see her still standing at your door. You looked up at her, seeing that she looked like she wanted to say something else. She was wearing a black floral wrap dress that reached just below her knees with a pair of black flats. Her long hair was straightened and she had earrings on, and her makeup looked really pretty on her. 

Wanda always looked pretty when she did her makeup, especially when she had on this pinkish-brown lipstick that looked amazing on her. You recalled a time with her when she did your makeup and chose a lipstick colour for you, and you remember her giggling when she saw you blush after she talked about how beautifully certain colours would work with your complexion.

She took a breath and parted her lips, but quickly redirected her attention to your luggages. “I-I’ll take one of these down to the car for you,” she said, stepping into your bedroom and taking one of luggages. She extended the handle then wheeled it out, closing your bedroom door carefully behind her.

It’d been months now since you and Wanda spent time together that was something more than quick exchanges of words. Going out in the evening while Vision was out at work reminded you all too much of those early months of getting to know her when she was just your dad’s girlfriend.

Wanda opened the trunk from the driver’s seat when you rounded the car with the second luggage. You lifted it into the back then shut it before walking back around and getting into the passenger’s seat. She waited for you to buckle your seatbelt before she pulled out of the driveway and started the drive to your campus.

There wasn’t much conversation aside from Wanda asking if you had everything packed and if you wanted to stop for anything before she got onto the highway. Again, it was uncharacteristic of her to be so silent with you. But you didn’t care. None of it was your problem until the summer.

Nearly half an hour into the drive, Wanda said with a quiet tone, “I’m sorry for how I spoke to you before in the backyard when you told me you were going to that party.” You were silent, continuing to look out the window without a word. “Not just because Vision ended up hearing about it, but also because I’m… sorry for what I said.”

She continued, “My mother told me that there was a reason you didn’t want to be close with me, and that I only had to change the way I approached things with you. She told me that I was being spineless and that I had to change the way I was. Normally I wouldn’t listen, but having her over my shoulder every second for the last two weeks has only reminded me of how weak-minded I am with her.”

Regretfully, she said, “Even after so long of being away from her. I’m sorry. I should have known better, and I should have treated you better. You are very important to me, Y/N, and I’m sorry I let anything get in the way of how much I care about you.”

You hated the warm feeling that was instilled in you by her words and you wished you could hate her instead, but you found it harder the more she apologised.

“I didn’t mean anything I said,” Wanda added. “But I do think you’re a very bright girl, Y/N. I meant that part.” 

Suddenly a wave of recollections from the last few days came to you, memories of what Wanda had been dealing with from both Iryna and your father. She’d been criticised relentlessly since she allowed for her mother to stay. If she wasn’t defending her mother from Vision, who never took a liking to Iryna, then she was making attempts at defending herself and Vision from Iryna, who also never took a liking to the life Wanda made for herself.

Without really thinking, you said, “It’s fine. I forgive you. Just forget about it.”

From the corner of your eye, you saw Wanda look over at you and smile. “Thank you.”

Then after a moment when she’d looked back to the road, your stepmother confessed, “I’m really excited to be spending time with you. It’s been such a long time, and I miss being out with you.”

The both of you decided that you wouldn’t stop at your dorm and that you’d just go directly to campus then drop off your bags after. Anyways, you wanted to get the event over with, and you hoped you could use the luggages as an excuse to leave early somehow.

Wanda found a parking space behind the science wing close to one of the larger gymnasiums where the event was being held.

As you watched her step out of the car and look around, you found that she stood out from the rest of campus. It felt a bit bizarre to see her walking around in a place neither her or your dad had been before. 

For some strange reason, there was a fondness that grew in you seeing her look around curiously, trying to take in your campus and trying to picture you walking around between classes or hanging out with friends on a bench by the parking lots or something like that. She really did want to be more involved in your life, and she desperately wished to know what you did when you were away from home. 

You hardly ever texted her back when she messaged you when you were at school.

Wanda kept fiddling with her hair and her dress while you walked to where the event was being held, adjusting how it fell around her hips or how her sleeves looked, tucking and untucking her hair behind her ears and running her fingers through it. She seemed nervous, but more than that, she was meticulous about her appearance, though you couldn’t figure out exactly who she was trying to look good for as you didn’t think she expected to see anyone she knew here.

Your campus’ gymnasium was rather large, and inside was a grand array of food booths, games, and club stands. By the ceiling, the windows were cracked open to allow some ventilation, but it still smelled like a delicious medley of foods once you walked in.

One had to purchase tickets at a booth with money then exchange them to buy food and participate in any games. It was a dollar for each one, and Wanda paid for thirty tickets as you assured her that you weren’t interested in playing any games and that you only wanted to buy enough food for dinner. She followed behind you, looking around at the gym and all the club stands curiously as you walked around looking for somewhere to eat.

After apologising to you in the car, Wanda began to talk a lot more with you. She led most of the conversation, which was rather rare to see her do with other people. If you were honest, you don’t think you’d ever seen her as talkative with anyone but you. She talked about a lot of things from her plans for spring gardening to a book club she was thinking about joining that one of the neighbours, Dottie, mentioned to her. 

While waiting with Wanda at the side of one of the food booths for your order, some of your friends from your political science class spotted you and approached you. At the sight of them, Wanda immediately stopped talking and moved back to your side as your friends approached. 

Like you realised earlier, she was really not one to talk much around anyone but you.

“Are these your friends?” she asks quietly, looking at you. But you suddenly felt that you weren’t in the mood to talk with Wanda and you ignored her question to greet your friends, talking about each other’s Spring Breaks and complaints about your poli-sci class.

You talked with two of your friends about wanting to check out one of the swimming teams they were interested in and you went with them to stop by their stand while Wanda waited for the food the two of you ordered.

Eventually, one of your friends that stayed back waiting for you to return with the other two looked over at Wanda. “You must be Y/N’s stepmom,” she said.

Wanda felt rather elated knowing that you talked to your friends about her. She was initially rather worried about meeting your friends amongst everything else. She wanted to be part of your life and wanted to be closer with you, but a part of her also worried if there was a place for her in your personal life at all. It made her extremely happy to know that you’d mentioned her to your friends before.

She smiled and nodded. “Yes, I’m Wanda. It’s nice to meet you,” she said and stuck her hand out for your friend to shake.

Instead of taking her hand, your friends exchanged a look in which its negative implications Wanda didn’t catch onto. “We’ve heard a lot about you,” one of your other friends added, a bout of mocking humour in her tone. 

Wanda put her hand down, feeling that they just didn’t notice her hand sticking out. She just smiled, happy to be included while not really catching onto the fact that your mentioning of her was not in any way in a positive light. 

It wasn’t that you hated Wanda so much, but it was that they were just friends from poli-sci, there wasn’t much to talk about besides classes and your immediate shallow issues about each other’s personal life, and Wanda always seemed to be scratching at the back of your head at some point or another.

Your friends, feeling that they wanted to stick up for you a bit in the face of the knowledge of how your stepmother had gotten on your nerves for such a prolonged amount of time, continued the conversation, finding easy segways into abrasive comments veiled at something cordial and friendly.

“It must be nice having Y/N out of the house,” your friend said. “She can really loiter when she has nothing in particular she has to get done.”

“No, I really like having her around,” Wanda replied, feeling some type of comfort talking about you to your friends. “I miss her a great deal when she’s away.”

Another friend said innocently while Wanda was looking at the food stand, eyeing your order and waiting for it to be called out, “I know she hates being at home, so I’m glad she has some time away.”

Wanda looked over to her. “W-What? Y/N?”

“Yeah. She was sort of dreading being home for the break.”

She wanted to not feel hurt about it, for it had to be the truth. There wasn’t any reason for your friends to lie to her as they’d been nothing but extremely kind. Wanda tried not to show the hurt that spread through her chest thinking about how you hated being at home while a large portion of what she did while you were at school was to wait for you to come back.

You being at home while Iryna was staying with her brought her comfort, and she hated to think that you never wanted to be there.

The person tending to the food stand called out the number of your order and she blinked out of her brief stupor and took the food from the stand, muttering out a ‘thank you’ before rejoining your friends. At that moment, you returned with your other friends and quickly said goodbye to them as they planned to sign up for a rowing club together for the summer semester.

Wanda looked at you, trying somehow to read in your expression any sort of hint of what she’d just been told being true. When you looked at her and took your half of your food from her, she looked away.

“Let’s go eat outside. There’s a quieter place by the orchard,” you told her, and Wanda followed behind you, carrying her food and a water bottle while you carried your own. She watched you from behind as if somehow she’d uncover your thoughts staring at your back.

Again, Wanda was uncharacteristically quiet when the two of you settled together at a wooden picnic table amongst cherry blossom trees. Now that it was spring, you thought the orchard looked beautiful, and even moreso now that the sun was setting and the sky was painted a mirage of purple and orange, hinting towards a rather hot day tomorrow.

Indirectly trying to figure out what seemed to upset her, you asked, “What, um… were you and Iryna fighting about? Like, that afternoon I talked to you.”

“Oh…” She fiddled with her fork and poked at her food. Then she looked up and smiled reassuringly. “It was silly, I just brought up something from Pietro’s and my childhood that she didn’t enjoy hearing my thoughts about.”

“She sounded angry.”

“I didn’t mean to bother you with that,” she said regretfully.

You took a bite of your food and you saw Wanda watch you for a moment, looking a bit forlorn, before she forked a bit of her own dinner into her mouth. After swallowing, you inquired, “Does she usually get angry like that? It seems like she’s always mad about something.”

Your stepmother responded, “I’m sorry for how things have been at home; I know you don’t like Iryna. She hasn’t been very kind to me either. I had a very hard childhood.” It seemed to you that Wanda was avoiding answering your questions. She’d gone from discussing every detail in her life, excited to share things about her personal life with you, to becoming completely evasive and almost worried about saying too much.

After hearing that you hated being at home, Wanda didn’t want to burden you with the weight of what was going on in a place you never wanted to be at. Though if she was honest, she also felt fairly saddened knowing how you felt, and now felt much less jovial than she was before.

The drive to your dorm was much less awkward than it was slightly distressing. You wished you knew what was on Wanda’s mind. You’d never seen her so… down. It was different from how she was before. For the entirety of the ride, you didn’t think once about hating her or yourself for the sentiment and concern you felt for her. 

Seeing her act so different made you realise how much you relied on her for the eternal peace she brought, her warm embrace available to you with her open arms, the hopeful meeting of her eyes with yours and her attempts at becoming close with you, even if you had been purposefully avoiding her since her wedding months ago.

And most of all, there was an indescribable hollow feeling that came with watching such a warm light glow so dim.

Your dormitory building’s parking lot was emptier than usual as most people were planning to come back from their breaks after the weekend. Not even your roommates were home yet.

There was a strange comfort that your stepmother brought you as she walked down the hall beside you into your building, seeing her carry one of your luggages and looking around. You waited for an elevator together then took it up to the fourth floor where your place was.

You felt Wanda watching as you unlocked the door and despite how quiet she’d been, you could practically feel her curiosity emanating off of her as she waited to see your place. You let her in first and you watched as she looked around, taking note of the decor and wondering what was yours and what belonged to your roommates. 

After the both of you left your shoes by the closed front door, you led Wanda into the hallway where your rooms were. She trailed behind you silently with your luggage wheeling behind her and stepped into your room once you turned on the light and wheeled the luggage in your hand by your desk. You took off your jacket and laid it on the back of your desk chair before hanging your keys up.

Wanda followed suit and moved your last luggage over to where yours was, still obviously curious about your room and all your things. It was much more decorated here than at home, and it was different seeing someplace you obviously loved being in evident by the care you put into adorning the walls with posters from your favourite movies and shows, covering your shelves with books and little trinkets and gifts.

Standing in your bedroom made her feel like she was in the centre of your life and although it made her happy to some degree taking so much of you in, Wanda also felt a bit downcast looking around and finding nothing she was familiar with — things about you she didn’t know before now.

There was a realisation coming up behind her that would soon tell her that she simply just had to accept that she wasn’t as close with you as she thought she was, and that she likely wouldn’t ever return to the kind of affection she used to share with you, even if only completely platonic. 

“I’m sorta thirsty,” you said, the breaking of the silence making Wanda look over at you. “I’m gonna make hot chocolate. Do you want some?”

“Sure,” she replied with a small thankful smile. 

You led her to sit down on your bed while you went to the kitchen. 

Her hands laid flat against your bedspread, feeling how soft it was while she looked around your room. At the sight of a photo on your dressing table, she stood up and walked towards it. 

It was a framed picture of you and your friends together at someone’s place, and it looked like it was for Christmas. 

Wanda remembered that Christmas; she remembered arguing with her mother over the phone about her father’s death which occurred sometime around the holidays and how Vision cared little, if at all, about her not being entirely present. She remembered waiting for you to come back home. 

You didn’t come back until Christmas Eve, and left on the second of January. 

Textbooks lined your shelves along with some other books Wanda recognized from your bedroom. She looked at your plants and your desk, your pens and your calendar, and though she was painfully curious about all of it, it still hurt her a great deal looking at a life she had no part in. 

Maybe it was selfish. 

You returned with two mugs of hot chocolate and Wanda straightened and smiled at you, thanking you and taking her own into her hands. It wasn’t too hot, so she took a small sip of it before setting it down on your desk, which wasn’t too far from her spot on your bed.

You remained standing, leaning on your nightstand and sort of looking around drinking your hot chocolate. Then after a few moments of silence, you found the confidence in yourself to ask, “If you don’t mind, um, why was it hard? Your childhood. You said earlier that it was.”

“I don’t want to put a damper on your time away from home, Y/N,” Wanda told you and looked up. “I should… probably leave and stop pestering you with my being here.” She stood up and you reached over and took her hand. 

“Well, I wanna know,” you insisted, perhaps a bit assertively, but you wanted to instil in her the knowledge that she wasn’t going to bother you, and a feeling that you wanted to know what was on her mind without explicitly saying you were curious about what was bothering her.

She regarded you for a little bit and you looked at her in return while she was weighing whether or not she should involve you in things she wished she’d never exposed you to. But it was true — Wanda had a difficult time saying no to you.

“It was hard because she has never been any less authoritative than she is now, even in my younger years,” she finally answered.

You carefully let go of her and set your mug down, then took a seat on the bed and in your silent eye contact with her, gestured that she sit down too. 

Almost hesitantly, Wanda obliged and sat down beside you. 

“How does Pietro deal with it?” you asked.

She put her hands in her lap and looked down at her knees. “No, Pietro was different,” she answered. “Pietro was always the perfect son. He did not have to worry about my mother being the way that she is with me, cynical and judgemental, because he’d always been mama’s pride.”

Wanda added, “We are very close. He went to the wedding and I talk with him often, but… yes, we had vastly different childhoods.”

“So, you had to deal with her on your own?”

She nodded and drew patterns against her knee with her fingernail, not looking up. “Her expectations, her criticisms,” she replied. “Could you believe that she’s been saying the same things to me all my life? Things that weigh down on me now I’ve heard her say since I was fourteen.”

Iryna was indeed harsh. You remembered how she called Wanda an ‘unaccomplished housewife,’ and you’d hardly even known her at the time. 

“I wanted to make my mother happy, and I’ve done everything she’s asked me to. I married a man who provides for me and I have a family,” Wanda said. “And still… I’m still not enough for her.”

You couldn’t tell if you felt more angry with Iryna or sad for Wanda. All you knew was that there was a terrible pit in your stomach listening to Wanda recount her experiences with her mother. 

“The days leading up to the wedding, I kept thinking about how happy she would be once she saw me achieving what she’d always wanted for me. I imagined her helping me with the wedding planning and her finally telling me that she was proud of me. But she didn’t even come. I begged her to, I told her she’d enjoy being there, and even that Pietro was coming. Then she visits, out of nowhere, after having not even mentioned wanting to see me since the first year I immigrated to America. And all she can do is pick apart my life; nothing I do is good enough for her. But I wish something was.”

Though you felt slightly useless for it, you took Wanda’s hand. She’d never talked about her mother before, not even when the two of you were together. She wrapped her fingers around your hand and you felt reassured in your action. 

And then Wanda was… She was crying. Her tears fell against your hand and she raised her other to her face, wiping her tears but mostly hiding herself from you, ashamed of taking advantage of your patience. 

“Wanda…” you whispered. “It’s okay.” She tried to move away when you wrapped your arm around her shoulders, upset with herself for being so pitiful as to cry in front of you. But you insisted and your arm rounded her shoulders tightly, your other hand squeezing hers. 

Eventually she moved into your embrace, leaning her head against your chest and crying into you. It came to her how unfulfilled she felt and how much she was disappointing everyone, especially you. She felt like a child for being so upset. She felt pathetic. She wished she was more capable, more competent in being a better wife, a better daughter, a better stepmother. 

You let go of her hand and wrapped both arms around her, enveloping her in a secure embrace while you hushed her softly against the side of her head.

She wiped her tears from her cheeks then straightened a little in your arms to be able to look up at you. “I’m sorry,” she said. 

“Don’t apologise,” you told her and dropped one of your arms to allow her more space to move. 

“No, not about that, I…” Wanda sniffled and took a breath before meeting your eyes. “Y/N, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just— I couldn’t be with you. I’m much past the age I was supposed to be to get married and have children. You have no idea how badly I wanted to…”

She trailed off then looked back up and continued, “But I needed to make something of myself. I’m thirty-two now, and you’re a college student. I felt like it was time I did something serious for myself. I needed to settle with a husband and have children. But I was happy we could stay together. I wanted to stay close with you, but you didn’t want to. You still don’t want anything to do with me.”

A sense of anxiety came over you when Wanda began to talk about her history with you. You weren’t ready to discuss what had happened between the two of you back then, and the heavy feeling of rejection came back up your throat as if the day their engagement was announced to you was only yesterday. 

You stood up, taking your arms off of her and stepping back. “I-I think you should leave.”

Wanda sniffled and stood up, wiping her eyes once more and moving towards you. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay and talk with you. I want to be here with you,” she confessed.

“I can’t talk about this, Wanda,” you said. She took your hand and prevented you from moving back from her any further. 

She insisted, “You don’t have to talk. Just listen.” 

When you finally met her eyes and shut your mouth, waiting for her to speak, Wanda took a breath. Then she spoke, “There’s a lot I have to apologise for in how I treated you and how I handled things with you. I’m sorry for throwing away the trust that I’d earned from you. I’m sorry for thinking that you’d just follow along with the decision I made without telling you about it first. I’m sorry for putting some nonexistent, childish desire to please my mother over you. I should’ve treated you with the respect that you deserve.”

Wanda looked into your eyes for a few silent moments, seemingly gaining some sort of confidence before her voice broke as she said, “I miss you so much. I think about you all the time when you’re away at school, and even when you’re home. I wish you would forgive me. I wish you would give me your attention.”

She inhaled and while you were frozen, she stepped towards you again so she was standing close in front of you. “I know it’s selfish. I know I’m selfish. But I want you to forgive me.”

Your legs felt weak.

Would it be a bad time to faint?

“I’m supposed to say that I would understand and that I would be okay if you never forgave me and if you hated me, and I would try, but I wouldn’t be able to,” Wanda confessed. She had all her cards face-up on the table. There was no point in hiding now. “Please forgive me.”

You looked at her with uncertainty, or perhaps a blank expression. You couldn’t imagine what you looked like now. All you could come to comprehend was the look on Wanda’s face, the desperation in her eyes, and you could feel the way she squeezed your hand.

“Wanda…” you whispered. “I don’t know what to do.”

She took one final step towards you and cupped the side of your face with her warm hand. “Let me show you,” she said softly, her eyes on yours as she leaned forward. Her lips met yours and her eyes closed along with yours. 

It’d been so long.

Your hand lifted to her lower back and pulled her against you carefully as Wanda’s soft lips moved against yours, the very slow speed of her kiss full of impassioned fragility. You walked forwards and Wanda followed, taking steps back until the back of her knees met with your bed. She sat down and parted from the kiss.

She looked up at you as you stood in front of her and she tucked her hands under your shirt. She lifted it slowly and uncovered your stomach before pressing soft kisses there. One hand held your shirt up while the other ran up your side gently, her delicate fingers brushing against your skin and leaving shivers in their wake.

“Come sit down,” Wanda muttered against your skin then lifted her head to look at you again. You sat beside her and she lowered herself onto her knees so you were looking down at her. Her hands ran up your clothed thighs, her eyes not leaving yours for a moment until they darted down to your buttoned jeans. 

Slowly, her hands moved up further and she undid your jeans, her head lolling to the side and resting against your knee. 

From this angle, you could see down Wanda’s dress and at her white bralette, its delicate lace resting against her soft breasts and her nipples hardened against her dress. You swallowed, feeling your cheeks flush as your stepmother slipped your jeans with your panties down to your ankles and tugging them off. She pushed them to the side and moved herself between your thighs, revealing your glistening pussy. 

She gave you one more look and a gentle smile before moving forward and pressing a soft kiss to the top of your cunt. Her hands moved up your hips, one moving to flatten against your lower back and the other slipping back down to rub your bare thigh. 

Her tongue darted out and flicked at the hood of your clit, making you inhale sharply. Her tongue extended and she flattened it against your clit, the tip of it brushing deftly against your opening.

You saw her eyebrows push together as your flavour spread against her tongue. The hand against your back rounded your hip and she laid it against your stomach, gently pushing you back onto your elbows to allow her more access to you. 

Eagerly, she delved deeper, her head burying itself further between your thighs. Her tongue teased at your opening before her lips wrapped around your clit, sucking softly then loosening to apply suction to your entire pussy. She released a few times with gentle pops then ran her tongue up your cunt and through your folds that became stickier by the second.

Your hand came to the back of your head and you entangled your fingers with her hair, looking down your stomach at her as she ate you out. “Fuck, Wanda, you look so pretty,” you uttered and you sort of saw her blush, and that made you smile.

Wanda’s hand came to your lower stomach and her thumb began rubbing circles against your clit while her mouth moved south, her tongue sliding itself in and out of your hole, coaxing herself further and further into you as she switched between having her tongue inside you and flicking it against the rim of your opening.

Her eyes opened and green eyes met yours with a chilling focus and you could swear you nearly started choking on the air you were breathing. 

Jesus Christ. 

Your fingers tightened around her hair and used it as a means to keep her pressed against your pussy while your hips began to buck upwards, grinding your cunt against her face. Each time you moved yourself upwards, Wanda’s lips parted momentarily from you and you could hear the wet suckling of her lips from around your pussy.

Your head was thrown back when she lifted herself from her heels and moved onto her knees. Both of her hands came to your ass, lifting you up against her as she ate you out with an indescribable fervour after growing impatient with the way you kept pulling your cunt away from her mouth with your thrusting.

“Come in my mouth, Y/N,” she breathed against you, her words muffled. “I’m here for you.”

Your orgasm coiled tight in your stomach and it took only a harsh pressure from Wanda’s thumb for you to finally come against her chin and mouth. Your walls constricted around her tongue and her thumb maintained its flicks against your clit. 

Slowly, as you came down from your high, Wanda’s thumb ceased its actions and she carefully began cleaning you up, careful not to overstimulate you. She slid her hands out underneath you and watched you from between your thighs as you caught your breath, her fingers wiping at her chin and around her mouth. 

There was a momentary feeling of doubt that came over her, the idea that perhaps you’d just send her home feeling worse than she ever had while feeling no less affectionate towards her as you did an hour ago. But you moved yourself onto your hands and leaned down to her, cupping her cheeks with her hair between your fingers. 

You kissed her lips after angling her face up and Wanda closed her eyes, still on her knees as you sat in front of her. One hand moved down and you wrapped an arm around her waist, lifting her up so she was on her feet. 

Parting from the kiss, you buried yourself in her breasts, pressing kisses up the soft swells that made the sweetest little moans leave your stepmother while your hands did quick work of undoing her dress. Wanda’s hand rested on your shoulders, fingers playing with your hair a little bit. 

Your hands lifted to her sleeves and pulled them down her arms. Her dress fell to the floor and left Wanda in her bra and underwear in front of you. You trailed gentle kisses up from her lower stomach, your hands following along with your lips as they moved up her sides, squeezing her gently, possessively, until your lips reached the valley of her breasts. 

Standing from the bed, your hand went to the side of her neck and supported her head as you delved into her neck, kissing her there and sucking gently at her pulse point. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” you told her.

Wanda buried her face in shoulder, overcome by your compliments and feeling her eyes well up from the sheer joy she felt being with you. She was led onto the bed and you kissed her hip when she was on her knees before she laid onto her back, her hair spread out against your pillows. She watched as you dug through your nightstand, eyes following as you lifted a strap and its harness out.

Teasingly, you moved the tip of the cock to her face and ran it down the line of her jaw and you and Wanda exchanged a humoured smile before you kissed her forehead. She watched in admiration as you stepped into the harness and fastened it around your hips. Then you undressed in front of her until you were completely bare and Wanda felt her heart skip several beats.

When you leaned over and kissed her while you got onto the bed on top of Wanda, she lifted her hands to your body, one hand brushing against your breasts and the other running up your side as one would caress a work of art. 

You kissed her cheek and trailed kisses down to the corner of your stepmother’s jaw. Your hands rounded her body and unclipped her bra, then discarded it somewhere onto the floor. With two hands, you groped her breasts then squeezed them together before running your tongue over each erect nipple, feeling pride in the way Wanda’s breathing quickened.

“Turn around and stick your ass up in the air,” you told her. She obeyed immediately, her hands wrapped around the top of your pillow, her back arched and her ass stuck up for you.

You moved onto your knees, hands running up her hips then down the sides of her thighs, taking with you her panties. They were slid from her ankles and you lowered yourself to part her pussy with your thumbs, making Wanda hum in embarrassment into your pillow and bury her face into it. 

“Tell me that you know you have a pretty pussy, Wanda,” you instructed, looking up over the curve of her ass to look at her. She turned her head and uncovered her face.

“I… I have a pretty pussy,” she repeated bashfully. 

You smiled then patted her beautiful pink folds with your fingers, making her flinch forward slightly. “That’s right. Smart girl.”

Slowly, you slid your strap between her thighs then rounded your hips to her between her thighs where you pressed the tip of your cock up against her core. You carefully thrusted against her cunt until she became slick with her juices.

Wanda’s eyebrows stitched together and her lips parted to release her tiny moans, her fingers tightening around your pillows at the feeling of your cock rubbing against her delicate cunt. Then you slid your cock into her hole and began thrusting. Her eyes screwed shut and her moans became louder. 

“Is this okay? Do you like that?”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

You pressed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, yes,” she said hastily, then reached back to tap your hips with her fingers. “Faster, I want it faster. Don’t be gentle, Y/N. I can take it for you. I can take anything for you. Fuck me hard.”

You wrapped your arms around her hips and jerked her body back against you while you thrusted your hips forward into her bare ass. Your leg was lifted up around her thigh and pulled you against her further, giving you more leverage to fuck down into her pussy. 

Her ass bounced beautifully each time you rutted against her, skin slapping rapidly as you fucked your stepmother. She moaned noisily, half her face shrouded from being pressed against her pillow. She whimpered and squealed when you took a handful of her ass and squeezed painfully before delivering a harsh slap to the delicate flesh.

You spanked her over and over until the soft ivory of her skin became a flushed red. You took pleasure in the way Wanda cried out at the feeling of being hit by you. 

Driven by the sounds of her cries, you spanked her one more time then took her hair into your fist, pulling her up and forcing Wanda to put her arms out and hold herself up, arching her back and applying more pressure onto your hips from her ass. Her hand reached back further and she placed it flat against your lower back, encouraging your thrusts. 

With your one arm still wrapped securely around her hips, holding her in place, you let go of her hair and took her wrist instead with your free hand and pulled her backwards, arching her back almost painfully and only pulling her back against your hips further.

“Take my cock, Wanda,” you grunted. “Fuck. Take it just like that, stupid slut.”

“I love your cock, Y/N,” she whined. “L-Love your cock.”

You watched as her breasts bounced with every one of your thrusts and you let go of her wrist to grope one, twisting one of her nipples and making her mewl something high-pitched and desperate. 

Your hand rounded her body and you shoved her forward so her face was pressed back down into your pillow. Your hands wrapped around her hips and took hold of her body, fucking her pussy on your cock like she was a lifeless little fucktoy. 

Her hands grasped at the bed sheets, pleasure coming over her body in overwhelming waves and making Wanda into nothing but your cockdrunk slut, whining and crying out your name, whimpering with every harsh thrust into her pussy.

“Y/N!” she cried out when she felt her walls begin to squeeze around your strap. “Ah! I’m going to come, Y/N—” Her words were cut off when she came around you, her loud moans reducing into a long cry that was constricted even further into tiny squeals. 

Her sweaty body fell forward and she attempted to catch her breath until you continued fucking into her. “N-No more, Y/N, I can’t,” she pleaded, trying to pull away from you and move herself off of your cock.

You pulled her arm back and lifted her up before sliding your cock out of her. 

“Please, I can’t do anymore, I’m—” 

You cut off Wanda’s pleads with a harsh kiss and she immediately melted into your arms, letting you turn her body and press her back against the adjacent wall your bed was pressed up against. You lifted her thigh up and positioned yourself between her thighs. She wrapped her legs around your waist and you thrusted yourself back into her. 

An arm snaked around her waist and you helped her bounce on your cock while you thrusted forward against her, her upper back pressed against your wall. Her arms wrapped around your neck for support as you started fucking her against the wall, her breasts pressed against yours and her head lolled forward, her forehead slick with her sweat laying against your cheek.

“You’re gonna take my fucking cock, dirty slut,” you bit, grunting into her ear. “I’ll fuck you whenever I please. Won’t you let me, mommy? Won’t you let your special girl use your slutty pussy whenever I want?” 

“Y-Yes, yes, Y/N,” Wanda answered. “You can take what you want. I’m yours.”

Your hand moved between your bodies and you squeezed Wanda’s breast before you ducked your head down and wrapped your lips around one of her nipples. She sighed out at the heavenly feeling, opening her eyes just enough to be able to see you suckling greedily at her through the mess of her damp hair.

Her orgasm quickly built up again and her fingernails clawed at your upper back, feeling that this orgasm was creeping up stronger than the last. “I’m close, Y/N,” she whispered, her throat sore from crying out.

“Come for me, mommy,” you told her, biting down on her nipple and making her yelp out. Then you lifted your head and kissed her cheek to grunt into her ear, “Show your sweet babygirl how much you love her big thick cock fucking your tight little pussy.”

Wanda’s hand slid up to the back of your head and she held you in place, loving the feeling of having you close to her. Her head lolled back against the wall and she let you scratch at her hips and grope her breasts, bite down on her neck and pull her hair.

The pressure in her lower stomach finally snapped and Wanda partially-muffled her pleasured screams with her face buried in your neck, allowing you to hear each break in the outcries of her orgasm, the way she called out your name, each syllable ghosting against the tip of her tongue as she spoke it through her release. Her thighs tightened around your hips, keeping you in place.

With her arms squeezed around you, her sweaty body warm and breathing hard against your own, you suddenly felt overcome by a wave of emotion.

When you lifted your head to see Wanda after having come down from her high with her head laying against your shoulder, her messy strands of hair against her damp forehead and her mascara mostly gone and slightly smudged under her eyes, her lipstick faded and likely spread across your own face, you felt that you’d never seen anything so beautiful.

“Are you feeling alright?” you asked. 

“I’m so happy,” she replied quietly, her eyes closed. “I love being with you.”

With a smile, you lifted her from the wall and laid her down on the bed, letting her breathing steady for a moment while you removed the harness from around your hips and laid it down on the floor.

“That tired me out,” she huffed when you laid yourself on top of her.

“Old woman,” you teased and buried your face in her neck, kissing up to her jaw. “Who knew you’d be so good at eating pussy?”

She grinned slyly albeit with a twinge of fatigue that made her look so cute. “You couldn’t have guessed?”

“What was your time in college like? Were you as much of a slut then as you are now?”

Wanda laughed and you kissed the corner of her mouth, adoring the way she looked when she smiled. “Bigger.”

“No way.”

She laughed harder. “I’m kidding.”

“Dude. I was ready with several questions if you were actually more slutty then than you are now. Because I mean… damn.”

“Y/N,” Wanda giggled.

“I’m joking. I think you’re amazing, you know?” 

You kissed her temple, letting your lips linger for a couple moments while Wanda closed her eyes, letting herself feel loved. 

When you pulled away, she opened them and met your eyes. “I know.”

“Cool,” you said and laughed through your nose. You slipped off of her and helped Wanda get under the blankets before you followed. Carefully, you removed her earrings and reached over her to set them down on the nightstand. Then you kissed her. 

Wanda’s hands came to the sides of your face, her thumbs rubbing your cheekbones gently, adoringly. She pecked your lips one more time when you pulled away. “I want to wake up with your hands on me. I want to be yours even in my sleep.”

“You’d like that, mommy?” you teased lightheartedly.

Wanda flushed and looked away, but you kissed her cheek and you felt the corner of her lips pull up into a smile against your own. “It makes me blush when you call me that.”

“Stay the night,” you told her. “Don’t leave.”

“Really? Here?”

You nodded.

She asked, “On the couch?”

“No,” you laughed. “Here. Right here. With me.”

Wanda regarded you with soft eyes and a small smile, feeling so filled with love and admiration for you. Then she said, “You’re going to regret doing this with me, Y/N. Maybe not tonight when you wake up and find me still here laying with you, or tomorrow, but someday you will.”

“What? What are you talking about?” you asked and moved onto your elbow.

“It is no life for someone as young as you with so many other opportunities to find something better, to choose a life with someone older. Someone like me. Even if only for a short while.”

You shook your head immediately and Wanda cupped your cheek with your hand, telling you that she understood and that it was okay. But you brushed her hand off of you and looked down at her seriously. “Wanda, this isn’t just going to be a short while. I… I want this. I want you.”

“You don’t want me.”

“I do,” you insisted sternly. She shook her head and looked away. You placed your hand on the side of her face and made her look at you. “Why are you doing that? Why don’t you believe me?”

“All I do is disappoint people, Y/N. You don’t think that, at some point, my mother had faith in me? And everyone who ever thought I’d be more than what I am now? And you?”

You rubbed at your eyes with the back of your hand, feeling yourself tear up. 

“Don’t cry, baby, please,” Wanda said, reaching up to wipe your tears. But you sat up out of her reach and looked down at her.

“This is real, Wanda,” you told her and dropped your hands into your lap. “It’s real. How I feel about you is real. It isn’t just going to be something that’ll go away when you make a mistake or when things get hard. I’m not going to go anywhere.” She looked up at you, seemingly astonished. “You’re not going to get rid of me. I’m not going to let you.”

She whispered your name quietly, but you continued, “I don’t care what you think will happen. I want to be with you.”

You must’ve started crying at some point because Wanda sat up and wrapped her arms around you, rubbing her hand up and down your back, hushing you softly and holding you close to her. Your tears warmed her bare shoulder and you hugged your arms around her. 

“Okay, I believe you, Y/N,” she said.

“No, you don’t. You’re just saying that to make me stop crying.”

Wanda pulled away and looked at you. “No, I’m not. I believe you,” she asserted. Her arms unwrapped from around your shoulders and she held your face in her hands. “Thank you.”

It was when your tears finally dried that you saw that Wanda was crying too. You leaned forward and kissed her. “You won’t leave? In the middle of the night or something?” you asked. She shook her head. 

Wanda laid back down in your bed and you followed after turning the lamp on your bedside table off. You wrapped her arms around her body the moment you sunk down in bed with her, your bare bodies sharing in each other’s warmths under the blankets. 

“I love you,” you promised.

She replied, “I love you too.”

Wrapped in your body and feeling filled to the brim with your promises of love and commitment, Wanda was kept up in your bed after you fell asleep as she basked in the scent of you, the silence of your bedroom, the sound of your breathing. 

Iryna always had the power of making Wanda feel like a child, of a wandering daydreamer with an overly-sensitive spirit set on a path of following her heart and nothing more.

Maybe her mother was right about her.

And for the first time in all her life, Wanda felt proud about that.

[aloesarchives]

Valentine's Day Special #2 (JJK One shot)

Warnings: Suggestive parts from Suguru and Shoko but it's funny, I think that's it.

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader

Here's Gojo's part I promised after my Toji one. A bit but here nevertheless.

 “Sugu, have you gotten in touch with Toru? He hasn’t responded to any of my calls and texts this morning and class starts in 10 minutes.”

“Maybe Satoru forgot to charge his phone last night and is coming here with a dead phone. I mean we did have a late start today but you know how he is. Something wrong?”

“I thought I asked. I’m just a little worried, that’s all. Normally he would blow up my phone but not today. I hope he’s not sick.”

You sigh as you look at your phone to see if any more messages would be sent but none came. It was Valentine’s day today and everyone was giving their Valentine gifts to the one that gives them heart eyes. Some were cute, others were cheesy, and some were mid. You’d usually spend Valentine’s day alone or celebrate it with a few classmates. However, this year was different because you would actually be celebrating with Satoru. Initially, you were trying to play it cool and be all chill about it. Not making it a big deal. But you can’t help but feel giddy and a bit excited because you can spend the day with your boyfriend who was also your best friend. 

However, Satoru’s lack of response made you a bit anxious with your foot rapidly bouncing and your eyes fidgeting between his empty desk and the clock. If he was sick and couldn’t come to school, you would understand. But Satoru wasn’t sick yesterday or showed no signs of any. You hoped that he was okay and nothing bad happened to him. With class starting in five minutes, you deflated into your seat and just wanted the day over with because it wasn’t going to be fun when Satoru’s absent. 

Just as you were about to turn around and ask Suguru something, your classroom door slid open to reveal Satoru Gojo in the flesh. His face was covered by a bouquet of (favorite flowers) and a large shopping bag. Sugaru just smirks as you sit in shock before standing up to meet Satoru who was standing next to your desk.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetheart!”

“Is this for me, Toru? Aww, thank you~! You shouldn’t have.”

You give him a quick peck on the cheek before taking your gifts and placing them on your desk. To everyone, Satoru brushed it off suavely while embracing his confident smile. But to you, and Suguru, Satoru was a lovesick fool who is screaming from joy on the inside.

You would have talked more but the bell rang so it will have to wait until break. Satoru sneaks a grin, sending a wink your way while you could only roll your eyes playfully.

“Sorry I didn’t answer your texts or calls this morning. I used the late start to pick up your gifts but I accidentally woke up later than expected. So I had to rush myself to get your things while trying to make it to school on time. I had to ask Suguru to distract you until I arrived.”

You glanced over at Suguru to confirm what your boyfriend said was true. All you were met with was whistling and his eyes were anywhere but on yours. You shake your head with a chuckle as you place your hand on Satoru’s bicep while walking to get some snacks.

“You had me worried, Satoru. I got scared for a second something happened to you. At least it’s good to know that you were okay.”

“I didn’t mean to! Look, I just wanted to surprise you. I just—you know— had a minor slip up. I just wanted to treat my favorite girl!” Satoru whines out trying to defend himself.

“Favorite girl? You mean I’m not the only one, Satoru?”

Satoru froze and had this look of absolute panic on his face. Suguru gave an accusatory look at Satoru’s way before you bursted out in laughter.

“Toru, I’m just messing with you! You look like you’re about to cry, I didn’t mean to get carried away like that! I know you love me, you simp. My one and only.”

The way his face shifted from panic, relaxed, to flustered was like a powerpoint where the teacher is changing slides too fast. The tips of his ears and the apples of his cheek were rosy pink. He tried to use his free hand to hide his blush but it was useless. Suguru just laughed at the expense of his friend. 

It was interesting to spend Valentine’s with one of the school’s heartthrobs. Satoru’s fans are split down the middle between fangirling or mean mugging at you two. You honestly don’t care about the haters because they’re not the one dating Satoru. School goes on as per usual, Shoko came to hang during lunch because she was out on a field trip, and the occasional hallway confessions and gift giving. Once school ended, things were different. You assumed you would go back to your dorm and that’s the day.

But Satoru had other plans in mind. You were about to go grab yourself something at the local convenience store before seeing Satoru pull out in a slick black sports car. At this point, you wonder what Satoru didn’t have. Satoru said the day’s not over and he’s got stuff in store for you. He takes your stuff away inside the car before reaching his hand out towards you with the absolute rizz.

“Let’s get moving, Babe. I don’t want to waste a second today when I’m with you~” Satoru says with  his overflowing rizz and charm.

You giggle like the high school girl you are and make your way over to him, taking his hand in yours.

“You two love birds have fun! Don’t go too crazy!” Suguru shouts from afar.

“If you guys do the deed, don’t forget to wrap it up, Satoru!” Shoko shouts after as she waves off to the two of you.

You both immediately got in the car, Satoru laughing his ass off with red all over while your whole body was ablaze and on fire. If it were possible, steam would be coming from your head. Once he comes down, Satoru starts driving you to treat you like the fucking queen you are. Satoru took you to all your favorite spots, stores, and places. He bought you anything you asked for, which were literally three items. He takes you to a crane game arcade and he won every single game you looked at on the first try, getting some of your favorite plushies in the process. God the way you smiled and eyes lit up made him so elated that his heart was going to burst. Genuine joy and whims of boyish youth surge through him as he realizes he can be himself around you. 

Free from his title as a Gojo, free from being the heartthrob, free from being anything other than Satoru and your best friend/boyfriend. He wanted to feel like this everyday forever when he’s with you. Every now and then he kisses your hand as you go around to your heart’s content. You never had this much fun in your entire life until today and it was all boy you gave yourself to that was also your best friend. As naive it is to think, you knew you wouldn’t experience this with anyone else. For your boyfriend to also be your best friend was absolute bliss and you want both of you to cherish it forever.

You two sit on a bench in an empty park, staring up at the starry night sky while eating some daifuku together. Your hands interlaced and both of your heads lean onto each other. No talking, just silence and the sound of the city night life filled the air.

“I want to thank you for today, Toru. I had a wonderful time, and it’s because of you.”

“I should be thanking you, (Y/N). You showed me things I never thought I’d get to experience. You made me feel things I never thought I could feel until now. All thanks to you… I love you, (Y/N).”

Satoru turns to face while holding your hand up to his face to kiss it. You smile softly at him while unlacing your hand so you can cup his face gently. You giggle seeing his face sink slightly in your hold.

“I love you too, Satoru Gojo. For as long as we’re together, I will always love you.”

Pulling him in to share a sweet kiss until the gentle moonlight. Once pulling away, Satoru brings both your hands into his as he brings them to his chest, feeling his fast but strong heart beat. His eyes are full of sincerity and unwavering dedication, boring into your own.

“Then promise me, (Y/N), you will stay with me for the longest time. Not just spending the future Valentine’s days together, but to experience life with you by my side. Now and forever… my one and only…please…”

You see the yearning and devotion in his cerulean eyes that still shine in the midst of night. His words, his eyes, his heart reassured you with everything you needed to hear. Because being with Satoru Gojo is something you will never regret and neither did Satoru as he never regretted loving you and only you.

“Of course, Toru, I’ll be with you until the end of time. Now and forever, with my one and only, Satoru Gojo.”

At your confession, you saw a smile that Satoru gave you that will forever be etched into your memory. One you have the honor and privilege to see everyday as he does with yours.

There’s no telling what the future holds. But it’s guaranteed that there are many more Valentine’s days to be spent together with Satoru. In which one of them you are wearing a shiny ring. Then another where there’s an additional ring on top of your other one, you are seated close to your husband as your last name is now Gojo.

[project-sekai-facts]

As well as the april fools dialogue, Emu also shows her academic capabilities in Ichika's birthday card story (her second one) - Emu, Ichika, Saki and Nene all have a group competition to see who can finish their worksheets the fastest, and not only does Emu complete it the fastest but she also gets all the questions right ! (tl by Kimane on youtube :D)

She also like. attends miyajou which is shown to be heavier on the academic side ... she is so smart i love her

i forgot to answer this the yesterday when we were talking about this, but i totally forgot about that card story. Emu's really smart it's a surprise she isn't considered an honor student like Honami.

[enhypencores]

Enhypen Sunghoon X Y/N Part 2

Genre: Romance/Fluff/Lil Angst

Synopsis: Confronting your boyfriend, Lee Heeseung, for cheating on you may have been the most difficult part of your relationship. But when he discovers you gave yourself away to his closest friend, Park Sunghoon, his devastation triggers a massive uproar.

Warning: Profanity/Kissing/Cheating

Please read part 1 here

You tossed and turned, heart racing as you relived the events from earlier today. There was a part of you that was revolted, sickened at your lack of self-control. You had made out with Heeseung’s best friend, who probably gave into an urge at the spur of the moment. Even if you did catch Heeseung cheating, what did revenge cheating say about you?

The other part was angry because it called out on your bluff. You wanted it to be a desperate attempt at vengeance against Heeseung, but you couldn’t fool yourself when your heart knew the truth. It was so much more.

You would’ve kissed Sunghoon sooner if you weren’t already taken.

Your fists tightened. You felt chills run down your spine as the truth sank in.

A fire wreaked havoc inside your body, and Sunghoon was the only one who could tame its ferocity; something about him made you feel like you were standing on a thin line, ready to risk it all. The moment you met him, you tried to avoid contact. His presence made you anxious and overwhelmed you with scary feelings.

You didn’t want to hang out with him without Heeseung because… You didn’t trust yourself around him.

Your heartbeat escalated. You turned in bed, hoping to fall asleep before another jaw-dropping revelation could plague your mind.

You suddenly remembered his hands gripping your waist, body tight against yours with eyes intoxicated in pleasure, and the sweet taste of his mouth as his tongue rolled against yours when you moaned and squirmed. He called out your name like he never wanted you to stop, and when you played with his hair, he let out the lowest groans, his chest rumbling with intensity.

You gasped, yanking your blanket off, horrified. You felt so hot, your body warm like a burning kettle. Your insides twisted with raging desire every chance you thought of him. You felt embarrassed and tugged at your hair frustratedly. You heaved a breath, realising you weren’t getting much sleep tonight.

The sun arose soon after, and you pepped yourself up in the bathroom mirror, concealing your swollen undereyes and taming your wild hair. You swore to ignore the crazy chain of events from yesterday because you still hadn’t figured out how to face Sunghoon.

You made your way to the first lecture, thankful it wasn’t the one you shared with Sunghoon. You entered the hall and spotted your friends Sunoo and Layla in the first row, facing one another as they chatted away. You quickly walked up to them and flopped on the seat beside Sunoo.

He quickly noticed your presence and turned to face you, his eyes glowing like they usually did whenever he was full of curiosity.

“Y/n, I texted you after hearing about Heeseung’s injury. Were you dead?” He ambushed, brows quirked up as he stared you down narrowly.

“Yeah, I heard it was a pretty bad fall. How’s Hee doing?” Layla joined in, forgetting whatever previous conversation they were having.

You shifted awkwardly, fidgeting with your fingers as you looked away. “My phone wasn’t with me. I forgot it on the stands,” you lied, occupying yourself with writing down the lecture’s notes.

You expected Sunoo to ask more questions, but you were met with silence, which poked harder at your anxiety. Layla, on the other hand, continued her interrogation.

“You didn’t answer me. Is Hee fine?” You looked up, meeting her concerned gaze. It reminded you of your own concern as you stalked behind, down the hallway to get to the infirmary. Heeseung’s lustful expression flashed in your head, and you felt sick, your heart plummeting in your stomach.

“Fine,” you gritted, and Sunoo broke into a confused frown. He eyed you carefully, observing the anxious tapping with the pen and your wandering gaze avoiding his.

You knew he had caught on, so you focused on writing notes to dodge his questioning. The lecture began soon, and you released a sigh of relief. During the entire lecture, Sunoo’s side glances felt overbearing. You knew he wouldn’t leave you alone till you came clean.

You couldn’t take his drilling stare anymore and desperately pulled out your phone from the pocket of your jeans. You typed out the text and sent it forward.

Heeseung cheated

Your heart dropped when Sunoo’s gasp reverberated within the hall, and he jumped up, his face pale in bewilderment. The professor-hell- the entire room stared his way like he was a lunatic, and you crouched lower into your seat, hoping to disappear. Sunoo’s cheeks grew red, and he apologised, bowing repeatedly. You felt Layla’s confused eyes on the two of you, but you pretended you had nothing to do with the scene.

Sunoo took his seat when everyone went back to focusing on the lecture. His hands were immediately busy with the phone.

The Kim Sunoo

I’m gonna rip his hair out.

You gave him a crooked smile. He looked angry with his foxy eyes, narrower than usual.

The Kim Sunoo

Did he tell you himself?

You replied with a huff.

I saw him making out with a cheerleader in the infirmary. He doesn’t know I know.

You heard an audible groan from Sunoo as he threw his phone onto the desk, his brows irked. You silently stared ahead, hoping the lecture ended soon, so you could leave to your dorm and hibernate for eternity.

When the class ended, you quickly gathered your things as Sunoo gave you a saddened smile.

“I was never team Heeseung anyways,” Sunoo claimed, and you chuckled, reminded of your best friend's dislike for Heeseung because he emitted ‘bad boy energy’. As illogical as it sounded back then, you wish you had listened.

“Oh shit-” Sunoo suddenly gasped.

You eyed him confused, and then followed his line of sight. Your eyes widened, and your heart fell lower into your stomach. By the entrance, there stood your boyfriend Heeseung in a black hoodie and loose trousers. He leaned against the wall, his wide eyes on you with a charismatic smile adorning his lips.

Your legs trembled. Sunoo grabbed your shoulder worriedly.

“I can tell him to leave you alone y/n,” Sunoo comforted.

You thought about it for a moment. Only a moment.

Why were you going to hide? He cheated. He betrayed your trust. He should cower away.

You rejected Sunoo’s kindness and headed towards the main entrance, from where students made their way out. Your strides were heavy, chest anxiously knotted as you reminded yourself to breathe.

As soon as you were at arm’s length, he closed the distance and pulled you into his arms. You froze. A wave of cold terror and disgust swatted down your body as you stood rigid in his arms.

You quickly stepped away, watching his arms drop, and his smile disappear along with the shine in his eyes. His lingering touch on your shoulders felt like dirt. Your instincts kicked in as you wiped at the parts and looked down at his bandaged leg.

You felt his body tighten as he noticed your indifference and inspected your face, his brows knitting in confusion. You did nothing to cure his curiosity.

“Is it bad?” You muttered, avoiding his gaze.

He gulped and nodded as he held onto the side of his knee tighter, stepping closer to you. “No major damages. I just need to rest the muscles for a while,” he responded quietly.

“Is something wrong-”

“Don’t you think we should get going? It’s gonna get busy.” You dodged his questioning, praying you didn’t have to deal with it right now.

You felt the impatience in Heeseung’s stare as he silently pushed for answers. A moment passed in thick silence. You reluctantly looked up, meeting his eyes.

“Why didn’t you come to me after the game? I was so worried." His deer-like eyes were pure, and they almost coerced you to believe what you had seen yesterday was a figment of your imagination. How could he hide a lascivious deceiver within the depths of those innocent brown eyes?

You felt like you had ingested metal, its stale taste scraping down your throat, overwhelming your consciousness. His smile tore at your heart. His touch made your insides crawl. How could he look you in the eyes when he had his hands on another woman less than 24 hours ago?

“Weren’t you busy after the game?” You yanked your hand from his grasp, not caring about the time or place. He had pushed you too far.

The sarcasm didn’t hit him immediately because he was too busy digesting the bitterness in your tone. His smile fell and brows furrowed as he tried to grasp onto your words. When the shock subsided, your words became a sentence.

His eyes widened. You heard a short intake of breath. His gaze traced every inch of your face as if calculating the possibilities. He didn’t seem to believe you knew until he saw your eyes well up.

Red slashed his cheeks. His lips parted, and his gaze stripped off the innocence. His chest fell up and down harder as his eyes lingered on yours. When tears streamed down your cheeks, his demeanour collapsed like a fish out of the sea, and his arms reached out as he pulled onto whatever he could grab of yours. He managed to hold your bag and immediately jerked you close.

“No-no. Please listen,” his voice trembled, breaths coming out in heaves as he held onto your shoulders.

You pushed at his chest, but his hold on you tightened. Even with an injured leg, his strength was unmatched. You attempted to rip his hands off, but it only fuelled his desperation.

“It meant nothing. I know I’ve hurt you. I know this damage is irreversible, but she means nothing,” he breathlessly rasped, hands slithering down your back and grasping your waist as he held you captive.

His words were like gasoline, infuriating the bubbling pit of fire inside you. You couldn’t believe his hypocrisy. Heeseung threw away your relationship just for it to mean nothing; for some reason, that left a worse aftertaste.

Sunghoon’s words came back to haunt you.

“That idiot still likes you.”

“...not enough to get over his urges.”

You felt a shudder run down your spine. Your anger tore out in sobs. Your frail arms pushed at him as a vicious storm whirled through your frame, knocking you out of breath. His stronghold locked your movements as you thrashed against him violently to empty your emotions. You wanted to rip out the heart that once skipped for him and scratch off the flesh that carried his stains. Your insides turned as he rubbed his hand against your cheek.

“I am so sorry. I beg you. Please look at me,” he pleaded, words dripping with misery as his body trembled.

You refused. You didn’t want to look at him, not when you couldn’t stop the ache in your chest.

“Please y/n, baby. I know I messed up, but don’t do this to me. Look at me,” his voice broke, and a sob wrenched from his chest.

You were desperate, so you glanced up. His eyes were drenched with tears, and his lips trembled.

Your stomach turned as you were reminded of his passionate eyes, drunk in lust when he kissed that girl and tore her dress off. His pleasured groans rang through your head, and suddenly, you could not take it anymore.

You whimpered in his hold. “Don’t touch me!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. Except for the horror in his gaze, nothing changed. He didn’t budge. His stern grasp held you firm against him, and his lips moved faster.

“I was stupid! We’ve been together for months, and yet you don't let me touch you. I wanted you so bad, hell, I want you so bad, thought of you every second I was with her. I know this is messed up. I didn't know what else to do-"

Your head was pounding. His touch was revolting, but his words pushed you to lose the last shred of sanity. Before you could clear up your messy thoughts, your lips were moving.

“Well, that's great then, isn't it?" You breathlessly muttered, and a corrupted glint of vengeance flashed in your eyes. You wanted to hurt him. You desired to see him crumble.

His impatient words paused as he awaited your response.

"You had your share of fun, and I had mine."

His breathing halted.

The hall's silence grew deafeningly loud as the world faded. Heeseung's pupils shook, face sickly pale like the life was sucked out of him. His fingers clasping your shoulder dug within your flesh as he pulled you tight against him, so much that you were almost standing on his feet. A startled gasp escaped your lips.

"What the fuck do you mean?" His eyes were wide, terror running through his veins as he choked out the words.

Your head was spinning. His fingernails stubbornly tore into your skin as he stared at you blankly. His brute words and empty gaze clouded your senses.

"I slept with someone."

In an instant, something had changed. With a shadow cast on his features, his eyes resembled a raging storm, whirling about like a maddening force designed to consume everything within its proximity. Your struggles against him finally ended when he pushed your body away with so much strength that you tumbled to the ground. You cupped your shoulder, wincing once air hit your wounded skin.

You glanced up and found Heeseung pacing back and forth despite his injury, jaw taut as he clenched his hair.

A dead chuckle from him sent chills down your spine.

"You're saying this to get on my nerves. You're lying to me," he repeated like a broken record, his face scrunched with anguish.

You stared at him in disbelief.

He suddenly turned and lowered himself down to meet your gaze. "Don't-don't say shit like that to me. You're angry," he rasped, his fists clenched as he surveyed your expression.

"I messed up but you-"

"I'm sorry Heeseung. I messed up too," you bitterly spat, mocking his desperate pleas.

A pained groan resounded throughout the hall, his eyes screwing shut as he shot up like a bullet and threw his fist against the concrete wall. You gasped, rising in shock as a sob rang through him.

His body shook terribly as he dropped his arm in defeat. Your heart stuttered seeing him so hurt, but you held back your concern. You two were too far gone. Nothing could fix this.

As he turned to face you, your instincts told you to step back and head out of the hall. His wet eyes looked at you distraughtly like you were a wilting flower as he pulled you back, caging you in his hold.

"Who?" He snapped.

This was something you couldn't say. Despite lying to Heeseung about 'sleeping' with someone, you knew better than to spill about Sunghoon. The two were good friends, and regardless of what had happened between you two, you didn't want to take away Sunghoon's friendship.

You stubbornly kept your mouth shut. Heeseung noticed your indifference and glared acrimoniously into your eyes, his hold tightening again like a predator. Your persistence annoyed him further, and he breathed heavily.

“Who the fuck did you sleep with y/n?” He grimaced as he said it, visibly disgusted at the thought of it.

You pushed at his chest with all your might, and he faltered, hitting the wall as his injured leg failed to cooperate. He groaned, eyes trained on you in disbelief.

You stepped back, turning to escape when suddenly your eyes met someone, entering the hall. Familiar brown eyes were the first thing you saw, and you froze in your steps, your heart climbing up to your throat in seconds.

Sunghoon’s soft gaze found you and his lips parted, then fell shut when they wandered to spot the man behind you. His gaze hardened instantly like a brick wall, jaw tightening as he looked back at you. He inspected you, noticing your tinted cheeks and swollen eyes, and his fist clenched.

You eyed him anxiously, shaking your head slightly so he would take the hint. You desperately wanted to keep him away; kissing him didn’t mean he was the one responsible for your mess. He watched your trembling gaze.

You didn’t know when exactly Heeseung caught up to you. In a flash, he zoomed past you and pounced forward, flinging his fist at Sunghoon, causing him to stumble back. You gasped as you hastened close, your heart plummeting when you saw red liquid oozing from his busted lip.

“She was with you.” Your eyes widened in alarm.

Heeseung abruptly grabbed onto his collars, the top few buttons ripping apart as he shoved Sunghoon to the nearby wall, cornering him.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” He exploded, and your heart raced.

You couldn’t read Sunghoon’s expressions; he simply stared with an arched brow. For someone who had just been attacked, Sunghoon appeared harrowingly calm, and it made you antsy because it resembled the quiet before a storm. You stepped towards the two, your heart thudding against your chest.

“No, get off him!” You shrieked with widened eyes at Heeseung.

At the sound of your voice, Sunghoon instantly looked your way, and you shivered as you noticed his stare warm up. Even as he was held down by your boyfriend, he managed to look you in the eyes as if you two were lovebirds strolling in a park on your first date. Your heart stuttered.

Heeseung, without warning, landed another blow, and this time, the impact almost made Sunghoon lose balance. You gasped, your lips trembling in horror.

Heeseung’s body was tight, his face red and angry with a darkened gaze as he slammed Sunghoon harder against the wall. You stared in disbelief as Sunghoon stood rigid like a punching bag, allowing Heeseung to unleash his aggression; the man was taller with a greater build and if he wanted, he could tackle Heeseung to the ground in a heartbeat. Yet he didn’t so much as push him away.

You couldn’t watch him take the beating anymore, so you jumped close, grabbing onto Heeseung’s clenched fist. It didn’t do much: you were like a stray kitten pushing against a furious carnivore with feeble hands. It did, however, evoke his irritation, and he scowled, grabbing onto your wrist.

“He’s had his eyes on you since day one. My fucking girlfriend. And you let him have you. Do you know how disgusting that makes you?” Heeseung growled, pained horror written across his face.

Your eyes grew wide in disbelief. In a fit, Heeseung was saying absolute nonsense about his friend. Your throat was closing up as tears marred your vision.

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Sunghoon snarled. You looked at him, his chest rising up and down with a stern coldness in his eyes. Hearing this, something in Heeseung flicked, and his glare burned against your flesh. 

"She is my girlfriend." He spoke of you with arrogance and held you like an inanimate doll. You couldn't believe this was the man you were dating. The Heeseung who made you feel loved and special was gone. You looked at him, searching for any signs of those memories, but all that stood before you was a shard of his remains. Your heart grieved at the realisation, and you stepped back.

"Y/n!" Heeseung grabbed your arm tighter.

Before you could register, Heeseung's grip on your wrist slackened as Sunghoon rammed him to the ground. He quickly looked over you, his body tense as his gaze traced you head to toe before halting at your bruised arms. 

His gaze shifted. You caught the fury sparking in his brown eyes, turning them into coal as his jaw tightened. You quickly edged close, grabbing his clenched fist. His breathing hitched. Your touch seemed to distract his brewing anger, and his fist eased. You hurriedly wrapped your fingers around him. 

"Please," you begged, your voice cracking as a sob clogged your throat. You didn’t want to be the cause of Sunghoon having to fight off his best friend.

His tense demeanour recoiled, and he turned to stand directly in front of you, blocking Heeseung from your sight. He sucked in a sharp breath and clasped your hand in his before rushing you towards the exit.

"Y/n, don't leave."

You heard a wail from behind. Heeseung's plea froze you in your footsteps. You knew him as prideful and arrogant. He always had his way with people, and he prioritized self-respect above it all. Hearing him break down didn't fill up the emptiness in your chest. Your uncertainty was magnified when you heard him call your name again desperately.

Sunghoon observed the hesitation in your gaze. When you didn't make a move, his hold on your hand loosened.

You eagerly tightened your grip, making him look up in surprise.

Looking ahead, you walked on, departing from the hall.

You walked till you were out of the university, garnering estranged looks from onlookers, some of Heeseung's friends, and some of yours, but you did not let go of Sunghoon. If Sunghoon had a problem letting the world see you both hand-in-hand, he did not make it known, following along wordlessly. You took him to the bus stop and sat on the bench with your heart full.

It was early in the morning, so you could hear the faint chirping of the birds and teenagers humming on their bicycles as they rode to school. Across the street, a vendor arranged their raw ingredients, prepping large batches for what seemed like pancakes while sipping his coffee.

"You okay?" His voice was like that sip of coffee, warm down your tongue. You shifted. His fair visage glowed like the sun, and his gaze resembled the brown of the pancakes.

You nodded in response.

"Why did you just stand there and let him hurt you?" You protested, your chest tight as you spotted the pool of dried blood on his lower lip and a purplish bruise forming on his cheek.

Instinctually, your free hand brushed against his cheek, caressing the bruised skin.

"Because I owed him that." Sunghoon's response caught your attention, and you stared into his vulnerable eyes.

"I am sorry Sunghoon," you finally expressed; the difference was, this time, you actually meant it.

His warm gaze turned cold, and he tore his hand from yours in retaliation. 

"If this is about yesterday..." He hissed bitterly.

You quickly reached for his hand, shaking your head. 

"I am sorry because I lied to Heeseung about sleeping with you," You interrupted, your gaze quivering in shame as your cheeks reddened.

Sunghoon's hand eased in yours.

"I ruined your friendship with him." Sunghoon surveyed your expression wordlessly, and then let go of your hand.

"You ruined nothing," he rasped, his breathing uneven as he fiddled with the ring on his index finger. "We drifted apart when he became closer to the senior frat boys. We just never brought it up because it was easier to ignore than risk losing each other permanently," Sunghoon muttered uncomfortably. 

He glanced at you, his lips tight in a thin line. "It solidified when you started dating him," he remarked, and you raised a brow, confused. 

"I remember that day he walked in with a damn smirk and introduced you as his girlfriend. Since then, we haven’t been the same."

"What do you mean?"

Sunghoon's sharp intake of breath made your head dizzy.

"He knew I liked you."

The moment was so silent, yet you still imagined mishearing him. Your heart struck against your chest like a time bomb as you eyed him in disbelief. Sunghoon avoided your gaze, tapping his fingers against his knee like a shy teenager. Your lips almost twisted into a smile, but you contained it as you didn't want to embarrass him.

"But... we met the first time when he introduced us," you muttered, thinking back to the party when you were first spellbound by his presence.

Sunghoon raised his head, watching you with innocent, round eyes. "We share psychology," he said in a matter-of-fact tone, and you stared dumbfounded.

Goosebumps awakened on your skin. You two did share the same course but never shared a word. You did know him; it was hard to miss such a perfect face in the crowd. You noticed him sit in the back with his friends, but after you two were acquainted through Heeseung, Sunghoon sat nearer to the front row, a few seats away from you. It all seemed like a coincidence or an attempt at friendship, but you never imagined this.

"Y/n." His call pulled you out of your trance. 

"I pushed you away yesterday, not because I didn't want you." He cupped your cheeks, his voice trembling. "I didn't want to use your hate for Heeseung to fulfil my desire."

Your eyes pooled with love. You wished you could tell him how much his care and concern comforted you, and all this time, you unknowingly liked him back. There were a lot of things to resolve, yet you could only think of one.

"Sunghoon, can I kiss you?" You breathed.

His breathing halted. His pale skin lighted up a bright red as he stared at you with wide eyes.

You edged close, resting your forehead on his as you brushed your thumb against the scar on his lip. 

"Not to spite Heeseung-not because I am angry- but because I want you," you completed, choking up as your face grew warmer.

His gaze melted. "Kiss me."

You pushed your lips against him, and he reciprocated instantly. As his mouth caressed yours, his scar grazed your lip, and you moaned into his mouth, the rough sensation sending shivers down your spine; the sound ignited an urgency in his kiss, and he desperately cupped the back of your head, angling his mouth deeper into yours. You were so caught up when it finally hit you that you were in open surroundings. Your hand travelled to his neck, and you pushed at it, earning an impulsive groan of protest. You managed to pull back, and he stared at you with dazed eyes and a puffing chest.

You looked away bashfully, hoping no one caught that.

No one but the young man at the vendor caught your eye.

"The couple set is perfect for a breakfast date!" The vendor chimed, his gaze dancing between the two with amusement.

Red-faced, you looked at Sunghoon, who was staring ahead, smiling like an idiot. 

He met your eyes and chuckled with a handsome grin on his lips. 

"Pancakes?"

a/n: sorry this took too long <3

tag list: @beomgyusonlywife @gigiramirezsblog @usedto-me @jjongsaengwife

[whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk]

Oops, I've been so crazy busy lately I totally forgot about WIP Wednesday yesterday. Here's a slightly longer B&BT snippet to make up for it... 👀

“What was it like in there? Inside the Cauldron?” Nesta didn't answer. Nothing in the world would make her answer that question to satisfy his curiosity. Nothing in the whole. fucking. world. There were flashes in her memory— the cold and crushing dark, a whisper through the void as her bones were shattered and remade. The Cauldron was a crucible that had forged her into something else, something other, and as something in her chest began to pound, that new ache flared once more in her fingertips. Something cold swept through her, a shadow of the burning the Cauldron had forced through her. Whatever it was, Rhysand sensed it. His eyes widened a little with something that might have been concern, but she wasn't fool enough to think it was for her. No, it seemed unnervingly like concern for what she might do. She wondered what look had crossed her face, what he had glimpsed there that had him studying her so intently. She had felt the fire burning under her skin. What had it etched across her face? She thought of the silver in her eyes she'd glimpsed in the mirror. Was that what the High Lord saw now?

[sm1leflower]

Feel special

✰ pairing : Im Nayeon x Fem!reader

✰ summary : You confess your feelings to your bestfriend , the girl who always makes you feel special

✰ genre : fluff

✰ warnings : use of pet name ( love ) and nothing else i think ( please tell me if i forgot anything )

✰ word count : 0.9k and some changes

✰ a/n : i found this yesterday , when i was erasing some of my notes , so i changed some things and decided to post it :) btw if there are mistakes please ignore them , thank you.

You weren't sure why, but you felt different around her. You felt cherished. You felt special.

You were also aware of the slim to none probability that Nayeon would like you back

You weren't blind. Even though she didn't have many friends , you could see how distant observers look at her.

You first met her when you started college two years ago, and you recall it like it was yesterday.

You've always thought of her as a good friend, and you consider her to be your best friend. Maybe she doesn't think of you as her best friend, but that doesn't really matter to you.

You never considered confessing to her until now. Every time this thought entered your mind, you would shake it off and tell yourself that you have plenty of time to confess, but now that you think about it, you regret not doing so sooner.

You are waiting for Nayeon with a bouquet of flowers behind your back, ready to surprise her. You asked her yesterday if she could meet you behind the college after her classes were finished. You see her , after a few minutes of waiting. She was wearing her beautiful smile, which lit up her face. When a thought occurred to you, she was getting closer, and you could feel your emotions rising. What if Nayeon doesn't like you back? Will you maintain your friendship? or will things get weird and you two will no longer be friends? You'll find out whether she likes you or not soon, because Nayeon is getting closer and closer and in a few seconds she is right in front of you.

"Hello," she says, her smile still on her face.

"Hey"  you say back , but unlike her you're not smiling "How was your day? " you ask her

"It was good, but now that I've got to see you, it's a lot better" you feel butterflies in your stomach with just a few words. "How was your day?" she questions , her gaze fixed on your face.

You wanted to tell her the truth. You wanted to tell her how nervous you were all day, especially now, as you're about to confess to her. However, you did not. "It was fantastic! But I'm glad I saw you because I need to talk to you about something very important" You answer her question, and with each word you say, she becomes more curious. "Go ahead," she encourages with a small hand gesture.

You show her the bouquet of flowers you've been carrying behind your back all this time and decide to get right to the point.

"Nayeon , I know what I'm about to say may seem ridiculous to you, but I like you. I've liked you for a while now, and I understand if you don't, but I really want to tell you about my feelings. Even if I'm having a bad day, when I see your name appear on my phone's screen , I start smiling like an idiot. When you look at me and smile, as you did a few minutes ago, my heart begins to beat at an unbelievable rate, and when you tell me how much you missed me I find myself smiling like a fool again." You take a short break to catch your breath, and you notice Nayeon staring straight into your eyes without saying anything, her smile not present on her face anymore so you take the opportunity to put the cherry on top. " It's you. You make me feel special." And with that you take a deep breath and push the bouquet towards Nayeon ,  hoping she'll accept it.

To be honest, you were worried about making Nayeon uncomfortable, but you also knew that if you did, she would stop you halfway through your speech and tell you so. After a few awkward seconds of silence, Nayeon takes the bouquet into her arms and holds it up to her nose to smell it. She lowers it, smiles at it, and then looks you in the eyes.

"I'm glad you finally said it," she says blankly, but her smile remains.

"What do you mean?" you inquire. Did she knew you were in love with her?

"What I mean is" she says as she takes a step closer to you "that if you didn't confess soon, I was about to take the first step."

So she knew. She was aware of how much you liked her, but she never teased you about it. She pretended she had no idea.

"How did you find out?" You ask her, even though you're fairly certain your friend, Sana, told her.

"Sana told me a while ago." she responds to your question, and you manage to suppres your laugh. Of course she did.

"Did she approach you and tell you about it, or?" Even though you wanted to, you were embarrassed to continue the sentence.

"Or what? Finish you sentence love".

You checks go red at that nickname. And also , you genuinely believe she understood what you meant, but this is just how she is.

"Or did you ask her about it?" After what seemed like a decade, you finally manage to say

"To be honest, I did ask her." That was all she said, but her words made your heart race once again

"Would you mind if I kissed you in that case?" You'd never asked someone that before, and it made you feel kind of awkward.

"If you insist."

[hrodvitnon]

Additional Sham-Goji (heh) thoughts I didn't include in yesterdays ask that I either forgot to mention or came up with afterwards.

I feel like Mothra definitely knows that Godzilla's putting up this front, but doesn't call it out because she also thinks that it's needed (for the time being). I have additional thoughts on her that I can go way more in depth on (if you'd like to hear them), but the short and simple version of those is that despite Monarch being the figurehead of the Coexistence campaign, Mothra's been doing by far the most heavy lifting to make it happen and believes that in order for both humanity and the Titans to survive- they need to learn to coexist ASAP. So much so that she's been tunnel-visioning on it since she convinced Godzilla to send Rodan to Castle Bravo (another one of my HCs, she pulled Goji's tail and was a major factor in getting Rodan sent there). Basically, Godzilla acting all kingly and desperate to live up to the humans' expectations is useful to her because she wants the same thing. She doesn't realize it may be tearing him up a little bit because A. he's good at hiding it and B. she's too busy trying to woo the humans to notice. Again, there's a lot more to this theory I can discuss later.

Kong I feel would be a very interesting character to see interact with this Godzilla, reason being is that he's sorta outside and isolated from the main kaiju world and culture. We've seen some consequences of this from him being a virgin- but I feel like having never interacted with any Titans off Skull Island would make him very different than say, Rodan- who grew up surrounded by Titans. For this case, he wouldn't have many- if any (bars) preconceived notions about Godzilla, compounded against be very observant as an Ape (cue callback to the 'weakspots' discussion). I expect it'd take one feigned nicety from Godzilla or a day of being around him for Kong to just go, "Drop the act dude, you aren't fooling anyone". Sorta like Rodan- but Rodan wouldn't do that because A. Godzilla would immediately reply with a snide comment about Rodan's own front (MAD type beat) and B. He knows it's kind of a sore spot for him and does it out of insecurity. Kong would have neither of these qualms and get on his case whenever his bullshit detector goes off. I can see Goji either getting really annoyed at this or actually starting to just be himself around Kong because he knows lying won't work on him anyways- so might as well just act candidly; and having someone he can always be candid around ends up being a path to healing for him.

(Apologies to everyone sending in asks for the long wait between answers, I'm juggling multiple things at once!)

Definitely something to consider for Mothra next time... and yes, I'm always eager for analysis. Also, I do like how Kong would be the type to not buy into any posturing for the sake of hiding one's real feelings, he's just like "stop being stupid and say what you mean."

[the1975attheirverybest]

Date Night

A/N: second installment of Fwb Matty. Based on this and included a few different things we talked about yesterday. Let me know what you think!

Warnings: smut, very mild angst. Some sub-ish Matty? Do we like him? Prefer dom!Matty? Both? Neither? Thoughts?

———

“You’re late.” Her eyes sized him up, hand on her hip, heel tapping against the floor.

Matty knew he’d fucked up, but it was an honest mistake. He’d genuinely lost track of time. After a long week of getting nowhere with producing his new record, just as he was about to leave, a lightbulb went off in his head and he had to see it through. He had no idea the restaurant would have closed by the time that he remembered to look up from his desk.

“I- I know. Sorry-“ he moved to walk through her doorway but her body didn’t budge. She wouldn’t let him in.

Matty’s face betrayed him. His remorse, and the surprise at her reaction, written all over his features. “You gonna let me in?” He asked a bit hesitant.

“Why should I?” She sighed, not giving him a chance to answer before she spoke again. “Do you remember WHY you set up this dinner in the first place?”

“Look, I said I’m sorry-“

“I asked you a question.”

“I- I do remember. Your date blew you off and…I said I’d take you out. Show you how you’re meant to be treated.”

“Yeah, you really fuckin’ nailed it, didn’t you?” She looked away from him at the passersby, suddenly aware the people on the street were subjected to their fight.

“I’m sorry, okay? Now let me in so I can explain.”

“Matty it’s almost midnight. Just go home. I don’t wanna hear it.” She spoke softer. Her arms wrapping around her torso defensively.

“ just- let me in and we can talk. Hmm?” Matty stepped forward, she turned around and walked in, finally giving him the space to slide through the door and shut it behind him.

“You know what? I’m not doing this. I’m going to bed. Stay, leave, it’s really up to you.”

He rushed behind her, grabbing her arm. “I was in the studio okay?! I had work to do! I couldn’t just drop it and leave! It’s not the kind of thing that I can just pick back up the next day. I had to see this through. And maybe if you weren’t so keen on being angry, you’d understand. My job- it’s different.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Forgot. You’re a genius. the rules don’t apply to you!”

She was pushing his buttons. He absolutely hated when anyone compared his personal tendencies to the self-important musician types who glorified their own “genius.”

“The fuck is the matter with you? I didn’t say that. I don’t care!”

“Yes, you don’t care. You’ve made that very clear. How little you care about my time and my feelings. You had to work? Fine. I get that. Couldn’t even spare me a text? Postpone? Let me know you’re not fucking coming so I don’t spend my whole fucking night waiting around for you like a fool in this stupid outfit and- just- you don’t get it. You never will.” She pried her arm out of his hold and walked down the hall.

Matty ran his fingers through his hair, huffing in frustration. “Your ego’s just bruised cuz of that dickhead who pied you off. ‘S the only reason we’re even havin’ this conversation right now.”He shot back, saying exactly the right words to get a rise of her.

“Get the fuck out. Out! Now!” She shoved him with all the strength she could muster and he almost tripped backwards.

“Fine. Don’t have to tell me twice.”

Before Matty made it to her front door, he heard her slam the bedroom door shut, and begin to cry.

“Fuck me.” He whispered under his breath, his hand on the apartment doorknob.

***

Matty had been standing in front of her bedroom door for ages. Listening to her sniffle and cry in there. All alone. And kicking himself for how insensitive he’d been. He wanted to go in there and apologize immediately, but he was afraid that if he opened his mouth again, he’d only make things worse. He took a deep breath, steadying himself, and knocked on her door.

“Go away, Matty!”

“No! I mean- respectfully, I- I’m not going anywhere. May I come in?”

He took her silence as a yes and opened the door hesitantly, peaking his head through the small crack. The sight that his eyes landed on made his stomach turn.

In the dim light of the bedside lamp, he saw her sitting at the edge of the bed, makeup colored tear stains running down her face. “Oh, darlin’ I’m so sorry.”

She covered her face with her hands, sobbing into her palms and dreading having to talk to him.

Matty moved towards her slowly and delicately, whispering apologies and hoping she’d look at him. He crouched down on the floor, sitting on his knees and reached for her hands.

“Please, look at me. Please?” He pulled at her wrists, prying her hands away from her face and wiping her tears gently with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry. Yeah? Sorry. Really. What I did- no excuses. And what I said to you was awful.”

She made several failed attempts to stop her crying. Mumbling incoherently. “I- I’m- don’t- it’s no big deal.” She sighed, letting her tears fall onto his hands.

“Yes it is.”

“N-no. You are not the first or last person on the planet to forget about a dinner plan with a friend. Don’t know why I’m being so dramatic.”

“You’re not being dramatic. I gave you my word. Told you I’d show you how you ought to expect guys to treat you, and then I went and- and fuckin abandoned you! What kind of friend does that?”

Her eyes finally met his. She could see the regret all over his face. Matty was good at arguing his way out of anything. He had a smart mouth on him, and that charming smile that would bring anyone to their knees. But, this, right now, was different. It was him who was on his knees. And she believed every word that he said.

“I- I really did want to spend the evening with you. I promise. Time just- got away from me.”

She smiled softly. “Yeah,” nodding. “I know how you get when you’re in the zone.”

His face relaxed. “Yeah, but that’s no excuse. I- could’ve at least texted. Just didn’t realize how much time had gone by. Came over as soon as I noticed. Please forgive me?”

Matty rested his head in her lap. “Gosh. Look at the dress you’re wearing. You made an effort. Went to all this trouble.”

She nodded, righteous indignation suddenly hitting her again. “I did. Actually tried to look nice. Thought you would too. I mean, I know it was a little little friend date, but, with my tragic dating history…I don’t know. I was excited not to have to be nervous or pretend to be someone I’m not. Cuz it’d be just us. Just you and me.”

Every word she spoke shot daggers into Matty’s heart. He’d all but crushed her sprit. “I’m such a fuckin’ idiot. Oh, gosh. Please lemme make it up to you. Tonight! Like, right now! I’ll get us dinner. Or, if it’s too late, I’ll cook for you.” He looked up at her, his eyes silently begging.

She paused for a moment, thinking, and taking in his compromised position, when an idea popped into her head. “I have a better idea.” A devilish smile crept on her face.

***

“Ahh! Ahh- hurts. Baby, it hurtsss” Matty cried out, fighting the tears that formed in the corners of his eyes. She’s been touching him for what felt like hours. Waiting for him to get right to the edge, and then stopping just as he starts to feel good. He was now beyond sensitive. Every inch on his skin feeling hot as fire. He was certain his sweat had drenched the bedsheets, and, more than anything, he was feeling a bit light-headed.

“Do you wanna stop?” She asked, her hand hovering dangerously close, but not quite touching him.

Matty stared at her mutely, trying to think through his answer, but his head was scrambled, his eyes glassy. He wasn’t entirely sure she was present. If they stop, the torture goes away. But, he knew she was having fun. And this was about her, not him. “W-wanna- make you happy. Wanna be good. For you.”

That was all she needed to hear. She went back to pumping him, mercilessly.

“Ah! Fuck! That’s - in-intense! Can I cum now? Please? Can I?”

“Not yet. Matty, don’t you dare.”

“I won’t, I won’t, I promise!” He repeated over and over.

Once again, just as he felt a hot wave of pleasure rush over him, she took her touch away, leaving him writhing. “Fuckkkk- that hurts!!” He yelled out. Tears finally streaming down his face. She stared at him for a long while, seemingly hypnotized by the sight of him so uncontrolled. His chest rising and falling, flushed and red all over, sweat dropping down his body, curving at his muscles; his hair splayed over the pillow, his eyes red and watering, his lips red and bitten over. He was perfect.

She placed a gentle hand on his cheek and he titled his head slightly to kiss it.

“You doing okay, Matty?”

“Dizzy.” He mumbled. He loved when she said his name.

“We should stop then.” She tore herself away from him to pull his boxers back over his legs. For a brief moment, she saw a look flash over his eyes and thought she’d hear a flood of complaints. That she’s put him through all this for nothing. That he had to cum at the end. That this wasn’t fair. But, Matty said nothing.

“Can I get you anything? Some water? You look out of it. You feeling alright?”

It took him a moment to muster some strength, but he eventually smiled softly. “D-did you, umm, have fun?”

“Yeah, plenty of fun.”

“Then- uh, yeah. I’m okay.” Matty sighed, closing his eyes for a second, before opening them again to look up at her. “Can I- could I stay the night? Please?”

“Of course, Matty. Always.” She placed a quick peck on his lips before scrambling to her feet to grab him some water and a change of clothes. “Think I’ve got some of your clothes around here somewhere.”

“Uh, hey, are you still mad at me? I mean- forgive me?” Matty mumbled into the duvet as she pulled it over his body.

“Oh, Matty, I forgave you before we even started.”

“Yeah?”

“Would’ve forgiven you, either way. That’s the wild thing about you, mate. Can never stay mad at you.”

[eriquin]

The Trolley Problem, Part 30

Another thing happens to make Steve realize how much information he's missing.

(master post)

Steve’s alarm went off again. It roused him from a nightmare that was quickly fading away. Something about chasing monsters and flickering lights. At least this time there weren’t any Russians. 

He managed not to slap it with his bad hand this time, and he made sure to set it to ring again the next day. He still had to figure out how to deal with El being in his house before his parents came back, so he couldn’t afford to sleep in. 

As if thinking about El had summoned her, he heard a gentle tap at his door. She jumped back when he opened it, even though he tried not to look scary. 

“Someone is here,” she said. There was a scared little quiver to her voice. 

He went across the hall to look out the window from his mom’s craft room. Tommy’s truck was in the driveway and he and Carol were climbing out. “It’s just Carol and Tommy coming back,” he said. “Just like they said they would, remember?”

El nodded and smiled a little, but she stayed in the hallway, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. 

“I’ll go let them in,” he said. “You just woke up, right? Go, uh, brush your teeth and stuff, I guess?” He pointed at the bathroom, and she nodded and disappeared into it.

Carol and Tommy looked very nervous at the door, and Carol pushed past him to get inside. “El’s still here, right?” she asked once he closed the door. “Is she okay?”

“I think so,” Steve said, suppressing a yawn. “She’s upstairs brushing her teeth. What’s going on?”

“I gotta check something,” Carol said. “I’ll be right back.” She disappeared into the back of the house, where his parents’ bedroom was. Steve looked at Tommy for answers, but he just frowned and shook his head. Carol came back quickly, holding something yellow. “I was right.” She held it up for them both to see. It was a t-shirt from Benny’s diner. 

Steve frowned at it. “What does that mean?” 

“There were cops at Benny’s this morning,” Tommy said. “They wouldn’t let us in. Said something about an investigation.”

“Oh, did Benny’s close already?” Steve said. “I forgot that happened this year.” 

The stairs creaked, and they looked up to see El quietly coming down them. She looked spooked, as usual. Carol bit her lower lip. “El, sweetie? Were you at Benny’s diner yesterday?”

El nodded slowly. “He gave me that,” she said, pointing at the t-shirt. 

“Wait, what?” Steve asked. “Benny did? But he... What happened?” 

“Bad men,” El said. She pointed her fingers like a gun at Steve’s head. 

“Shit,” Carol said, twisting the shirt up in her hands. “That’s what we thought. The lab, right? They found you? They shot Benny?” El nodded slowly. 

Tommy tapped Steve on the arm. “Did that happen last time?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Steve said. “I thought... I mean, I knew Benny died, but they said it was suicide.”

“It’s got to be a cover-up,” Carol said. “The lab would stage it like a suicide so people don’t talk about it too much. I wonder if the cops will be fooled by it. They’re a bunch of bumpkins.”

Steve rubbed his forehead, trying to come to terms with the new information. He wondered what else he’d missed, what else people had failed to tell him or that he’d just forgotten. “Oh my God. They killed Benny.” 

“Those bastards,” said Tommy. They had a somber, quiet moment while they all processed it. 

El came the rest of the way down the stairs and wrapped her arms around Carol’s waist. “I’m glad you’re back,” she said. 

“Yeah, me too,” Carol said, running her hand over El’s peach fuzz. “We can’t stay long, though. We were gonna try to get some clothes for you, but somebody couldn’t figure out how a laundry room worked.” She gave Tommy a little smirk. 

Tommy just rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. “Yeah, and we were gonna get breakfast, too, but... Well, at least Steve’s house has coffee?” 

“Yeah, I’ll make it,” Steve said, heading towards the kitchen. “And maybe we’ve got cereal or something.” He stopped short in front of the fridge. “Oh, wait! Eggos! El loves Eggos.” He took the box out of the freezer and held them out at her.

El just looked confused. She was still tucked under Carol’s arm. “What are Eggos?” 

Steve stopped short. “You don’t... Okay. I’ll make some for you.” He shook his head and went to put them into the toaster. 

Carol said something to El about raiding closets and getting her something new to wear, and took her out of the kitchen. Tommy started making coffee while Steve stared at the toaster. Tommy always put too much coffee in the filter and Carol complained, but Steve wasn’t going to stop him right now. Strong coffee sounded like something he could use.

“You doing okay, man?” Tommy asked. “Like, uh...” He trailed off when Steve looked over at him.

Steve laughed a little bit. “Not really, Tom,” he said. “I’m just fucking this up at every turn, aren’t I?”

“No! No way,” said Tommy. “I mean, this whole thing is pretty messed up. There’s a monster and people at the lab are killing people.”

“I should’ve known what was going to happen to Benny,” Steve said. He leaned on the counter and put his head in his hands. “I just... Like, I don’t know if someone told me and I just forgot, or if no one bothered to tell me, you know? I’m just dumb old Steve, there to watch the kids.” 

Tommy hopped up onto the counter next to him and looked confused. “Seriously? Come on, man. That can’t be right. You know all this stuff.”

“Literally, if anyone else came back instead of me, they would’ve done a better job,” Steve said. “Nancy? She would’ve probably exposed the lab in the papers by now. Jonathan would’ve been home to help his brother, or Mrs. Byers would have... Christ, she doesn’t even know what’s going on now. Maybe that’s for the best, you know? So she doesn’t have to worry about her kids this time.”

Tommy let out a low whistle. “Yeah, but you kept Will from getting taken, right? That’s gotta count for something.”

“I don’t know.” Steve felt his voice crack. “Was it worth it to let it get Eddie instead? Why couldn’t it have taken me, huh? I know how to deal with the Upside Down.” 

“Shit, man, don’t say that.” Tommy hopped down and pulled at Steve’s shoulders until he was standing up straight and facing him. “If it took you, who would explain all this stuff to us? Munson? We wouldn’t have believed him.” 

“Yeah, but...” Steve rubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t even know if he’s alive, Tommy. His uncle must be worried sick, and nobody’s telling him anything.”

“We’ll get him back, okay? Kill the monster, all that stuff. You said the girl knows how to open portals and stuff, right?”

“A gate. And yeah, when she’s older,” Steve said. “She’s just... She’s so little right now.” 

“Well, maybe she can open a little gate for us, and we can go get Munson and bring him back,” Tommy said. 

There was a squeak near the doorway as El appeared, with Carol right behind her. She was wearing one of Steve’s old outfits from middle school, a striped sweater and blue jeans with the cuffs rolled up. She pulled her hands into the sleeves of the sweater and held them up to her mouth, staring at them in shock. 

“A gate?” she asked quietly. “No. No gates.”

Steve stood up straight. “That’s not what...” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “No, we won’t make you open a gate. Tommy was just, like, theorizing how we could get Eddie back. We’ll figure it out.”

El looked very serious. “He is trapped there?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” Tommy said. “The demogorgon got him on Sunday.” 

“Demogorgon?” El asked, confused.

Steve frowned. “The monster, with the...” He held his hands in front of his face and mimicked it opening up like a flower. 

El flinched and nodded. “Demogorgon,” she said more confidently. “It got him.” 

Carol rubbed her back and got her to sit down at the counter. Steve put some Eggos on a plate for her and got out the syrup. Tommy finished making coffee, and put more Eggos into the toaster. Carol got out the juice for El while the rest of them had some very strong coffee. They ate breakfast mostly in silence.

“We’re going to need to get to school soon,” Carol said. She looked over at Steve. “You’re skipping again, right? Do you want me to call it in?” 

Steve shook his head. “Yeah, I’m skipping, but don’t bother calling. It doesn’t matter that much. Just keep an eye out for, like, anything weird. If you hear anything, call me from the payphone, okay?”

“What is school?” El asked.

“It’s like a prison, but for kids,” Tommy said.

“Dude,” said Steve. He gave Tommy a disbelieving look and gestured at El. “Really?”

“Christ, Tommy, you’re so insensitive,” said Carol.

Tommy held up his hands as an apology. “It was a joke!” he said. “I forgot where she came from, okay?”

El frowned. “But, what is prison?” she asked.

“There, see?” Tommy said. “She’s not even offended.” 

Steve sighed and dropped his head in defeat. “I just... I’ll tell you later, okay El?” 

They wrapped up breakfast, making an extra set of waffles for El because she was enjoying them after all. Carol came over to give her another hug on their way out and told her that she’d be back as soon as she could. Steve thought he heard her whisper something about ice cream again. It made El giggle.

Once they were gone, Steve went back upstairs to get dressed. He came out of his room to find El waiting in the hall for him. 

“You know the future,” she said. 

“Yeah, some of it,” Steve said. “Only the stuff I was involved with, though. I don’t know as much about what happens to you.”

“You have powers?” 

Steve shrugged. “I don’t think so. I think I lived it and then my mind traveled back. Maybe someone did it to me, sent me back here.” 

El frowned and crossed her arms. “You know about the gate.” 

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I know about the gate under the lab. About the Upside Down and the monsters and stuff.”

Her lower lip quivered. “I opened it,” she said softly. “You know I opened it.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Steve. “I don’t really know why, though. And I know you close it, eventually, so there’s that.”

She looked down the hallway, towards the window. It was a clear day, and they could see the trees in the backyard through it. “There is no ‘why’,” she said. “There was a monster. Papa made me try to find it. I got scared. Then the gate opened. The monster came out.” She looked back at Steve. “I opened the gate but I did not mean to.” 

Steve leaned back against the wall and thought about it for a moment. He didn’t fully understand the situation, but he’d heard enough about the lab and the people who kept El there to know that ‘Papa’ was the person in charge and that she had always been afraid of him. She looked so much smaller now, hunched in on herself, that he just wanted to wipe away any guilt she was feeling about it. “It’s not your fault,” he said. 

She shook her head. “But, your friend is gone.” 

“Hey, I know,” he said. He slowly reached out to her, not sure if she was still feeling wary of him. She didn’t flinch, and let him put his hand on her shoulder. “That’s not your fault, either. You didn’t know what would happen. You didn’t do anything on purpose.”

She shuffled towards him, just a half-step. He took it as a sign to open his arms and pull her closer. It was clear that she needed a hug, and she wrapped her little arms around his waist and squeezed him back tightly. He shut his eyes and mumbled the kind of things that he thought his mom would say. Things like, ‘it’s okay now’ and ‘it’ll be okay,’ even though he didn’t believe it at all. He wasn’t sure if El did, either. 

After a minute of this, she picked her head back up. She hadn’t been crying, just shaking a little. “Can I see him?” she asked. She held her hands up in a rectangle. “A picture?” 

Steve frowned and furrowed his brow in thought. “You mean Eddie?”

El nodded. “I can find him,” she said. She matched his expression. “I can try.” 

He took her by the hand and led her down to the living room, where his mom had stashed all his yearbooks. He got one every year, and Eddie was a senior and in a club. One of them probably had a picture of him, somewhere. They found one, and El squinted at it for a long time. She asked for a blindfold, so he got her one of his dad’s ties. He’d never seen her do this, but he knew that it helped for her to have some kind of static, too, so he switched on the stereo and turned it to an empty station. 

She sat on her knees with the yearbook in front of her and the stereo behind her. She tried for twenty minutes to find Eddie, until the nosebleed covered the top of her lip and Steve made her stop. She looked completely exhausted when she pulled off the blindfold, and he helped her get cleaned up.

“I’m sorry,” she said. Her voice was a little hoarse, like she was on the verge of crying. “I couldn’t find him.”

Steve pulled her into a sideways hug again. “I know,” he said. “It’s okay.” There was a small comfort in knowing that, even if she hadn’t seen him, at least she hadn’t seen his body. He offered to make her more Eggos and some ice cream to go with them. Then, they could curl up in the basement and watch television until she felt better, or until school was out and the rest of the kids came back. It was the best they could do.

[philaet0s]

WIP Wednesday

It's Thursday but I forgot about this yesterday

Another new WIP :) let's just pretend I don't have several already

(Sorry in advance for mentioning the COVID lockdown, it's necessary for the story)

Baz

One more email. Regards, Basilton Grimm-Pitch. Sent. 12:14. Last one for this morning. I close my laptop and watch the bright light shining out of the apple fading. 

I stretch with a long, low hum. My leg jerks. This lockdown is going to ruin whatever strength I had left in this damn leg. I ought to exercise more, but I feel like a criminal whenever I step out of the front door.

I reach for my cane and lean on it slightly more than usual as I stand up. Maybe if I didn’t sit on a chair all day, it’d help. But I’d look like a fool, walking around my office as my students watch me through a screen. 

I sigh. The pizza I put in the oven a dozen minutes ago is done. I take it out, put it on a plate but take no cutlery. I fold it in two and eat it while standing up by the kitchen counter. It’s wholly unsatisfactory. The things I would do for a nice dish at a restaurant right now. Or for one of his home cooked meals…

I toss the pizza crust in my plate. I’ve never eaten that. Spoiled kid habit, I’m sure. I check my watch. It’s only been five minutes since I sent the email. My next class is in an hour and a half, and I’ve run out of unnecessary tasks to pass the time.

------------------------------

Baz/Simon/Thomas

Ever since I created Thomas's character I have been convinced that he couldn't be in a traditional monogamous relationship. There's have to be some fuckery with other people on the side. Couldn't really explore that in Live and Die because there's absolutely no universe where Live and Die Simon and Baz would have been down for that, but well, new fic, new way to write the characters...

Baz

“I… I think I need you to explain your… situation to me a bit more. I’m… very much into you but the whole boyfriend thing kind of threw me off,” he answers, laughing shakily. 

Well. At least he’s very much into me. That’s a good sign…

“It’s just… How do you come to be in that kind of relationship?” Simon continues, and the nervousness that had spread on his face becomes something a little different. Curiosity is glinting in his eyes. “Were you always ok with your boyfriend fucking other people? And do you guys have any rules?”

He’s not the first to be curious. It would not be the first time I explain my ‘situation’, and it would certainly not be the most awkward time either. Nothing could be worse than explaining it to my cousin, in fact, after an unfortunate outing when he caught Thomas kissing another bloke. All three of us had a terrible night. All four of us, if you include the man Thomas was with.

[itzynabi]

deserve it

summary: in which eve is in need of encouragement

set: late april 2022

word count: 1.3k

warnings: mention of food and some cute little swear words

an: nalia have my heart 😩. words in bold are english. mediocre writing from a mediocre writer 💅. send asks or messages to be added to the taglist. feedback and reblogs are much appreciated 💘

eve’s masterlist

Preparing for a solo debut was a lot of fun. But way more stressful. Eve had to do everything on her own — recording songs, shooting the music video and attending dance practices. Let's not even get started on music show performances. And the crazy thing was, Eve had only recorded two of the songs so far. Just thinking about everything she had to do made her want to flee the country and never return.

So there she was. On the floor of the dance practice room after fooling around with choreography ideas with one of the dance trainers, thinking about what she had planned for the next day.

“Nabi, don’t forget to do cool down stretches,” the trainer, Jongseob, instructed her, picking up his things. Eve raised her hand and did an ‘okay’ sign, letting it fall to the ground soon after. He shouted out a goodbye over his shoulder and exited the room, leaving her alone.

Eve exhaled deeply. “Go over it one more time, and then go home,” she told herself. She stood up and went to the speaker. Turning it on, she danced to glassy again, coming up with her own choreography at the parts they hadn’t come up with anything yet. She was so busy dancing that she didn't notice Lia walking into the room. When the song ended, Lia started clapping, alerting Eve of her presence.

“Yah, don’t scare me like that,” Eve scolded, holding her hand over her heart.

Lia raised her hands in mock surrender. “Sorry. I forgot you’re jumpy.”

Eve skipped over to Lia, engulfing her in a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to visit you,” Lia answered after Eve pulled away. “And bring you food,” she shook her hand, bringing Eve’s attention to a plastic bag in her hands.

“Wah, thank you!”

Lia and Eve went to the bench in the back of the room, putting the plastic on the seat and sitting on the floor against the benches, facing each other.

“What did you bring for me?” Eve asked, clapping her hands excitedly as Lia took the food out.

“Bibim nengmyun,” Lia answered, opening one of the containers with a flourish.

Eve groaned. “Just what I needed.”

Lia handed Eve her container and opened her own one. They both took bites of their food, groaning in pleasure.

“You… are heaven sent,” Eve told Lia, who smiled in response.

The two girls finished eating their food in silence, turning around so they were sitting side by side against the bench.

“What did you do today?” Lia asked, reaching for the water bottles in the plastic bottles.

Eve accepted the bottle Lia gave her and twisted it open, taking a sip. “We just fooled around with choreography. Trying to come up with something. We’re obviously also using the demo’s we got sent, but we’re also changing some of the choreo to better fit the song.”

Lia nodded. “Have you practised with the dancers yet?”

“No,” Eve said with a shake of her head. “Trainer Jaebom said we’ll all practice once the choreography is done. No point in learning the dance together when there is no dance, right?”

“Did you record a song?”

“Um, I finished glassy yesterday, so it’s all up to the producers to come up with a finished product. And I did only last week, I think.”

Lia looked at Eve intently. “It must be hard. Doing this by yourself.”

“It is,” Eve confirmed. “But it is what it is. I’m just trying to prepare for my debut safely and healthily. And then we’ll start preparing for our comeback.”

“Don’t overwork yourself,” Lia instructed. “We need you in good health.”

“Okay,” Eve said, nudging Lia’s shoulder with hers. “What did you do?”

“Yeji and I went to a spa,” Lia said. “We got massages and my body feels like jelly,” she finished with a laugh. “The members were wondering if you’d want to go on a walk tomorrow? Just around the neighbourhood, get some fresh air and spend some time together?”

Eve furrowed her eyebrows. “I would seriously love to, but I’m supposed to get the first demo for the choreography tomorrow and then I’ll have to review it — say what I like and don’t like — and then learn and practise it and–” Eve cut herself off with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

Lia shook her head. “It’s fi–”

“It’s not fine!” Eve shouted, causing Lia to flinch at the sudden loudness. “Sorry,” she whispered. “You guys keep asking me to do things and I keep saying no all the time and it’s just… so fucking frustrating to not be able to do things with you.”

Lia nodded, putting her hand on Eve’s knee and squeezing. “We understand why you say no, though. We just want to help you relax when possible.”

Eve smiled at her and looked at her hands. “Should I just say I don’t want to do it? That I don’t want to debut? Then I’ll get to spend time with you guys and it’ll give me more time to focus when we start preparing for our comeback.”

“Unnie, that’s crazy,” Lia said, shaking her head.

Eve continued speaking, seemingly not hearing her, “I mean, it makes sense. And why is my debut so close to the comeback anyway? That doesn’t matter. I ‘ll just tell PD-nim that I don’t want to debut anymore. It’s not like I deserve it anyway and since we’re sti–”

Lia interrupted her, “What do you mean you don’t deserve it?”

Eve looked up at Lia. “Hm?”

“You–you just said that you don’t deserve to debut. What do you mean by that?”

“Oh. Just that, out of all the members, I don’t think I should be the first to debut,” Eve explained. “I always thought that if we were to have solo debuts, Yeji or Ryujin would debut first. They’re arguably the most popular members–”

“So are you!”

“–and they just have the aura of people that would be great soloists — like Chungha sunbaenim — so it makes sense that they would debut. Me however–” she sighed and rolled her eyes– “it just doesn’t make sense. And so early in my career? I guess the public wasn’t lying when they said JYP treats me like a princess–”

“Unnie!” Lia sharply interrupted, cutting Eve off. “First of all, you’re an idiot.” Eve opened her mouth to protest but Lia raised her hand to silence her. “You work so hard! Doing so many things for us - half of them you don’t even want to do! But you do it for us. For our team. And now, you have an opportunity to do something that showcases you and your talents. You can’t give it up. Or I will fight you,” she threatened. “And PD-nim shows favouritism to more than one member, let’s be honest. He didn’t give you this opportunity because you’re the apple of his eye or some dumb shit like that. He gave it to you because he trusts that you’ll do good. You’re our team's ace, you’re literally good at everything.” Lia rolled her eyes playfully.

“As for not having enough time to spend with the members… we can work something out. But don’t you ever, for a second, think that you don’t deserve this. You deserve this and more.”

Eve gulped. “If I didn’t have the emotional capacity of a table, I’d be in tears by now,” she joked, leaning forward to hug Lia. Lia wrapped her arms around Eve, tightening and squeezing. “Thank you, Jisu,” Eve whispered.

“You’re welcome, Nabi unnie. We’re supporting you every step of the way.”

Whilst Eve didn’t feel any less stressed, she did feel a weight get lifted off her chest. What Lia said to her were words she didn’t know she needed to hear, but was thankful that she did. All she needed to do now was keep pushing forwards until her debut. She deserved to, afterall.

tagging: @seolboba @ateezivy @ateezjuliet @cafemilk-tea @smh-anon

©️ kim nabi

[creaturefeaster]

good morning fools of april

Tis 07:15 right now. Feels like this will be a short one, let's see.

I just really wanted to say thank you guys for all your sweet birthday wishes yesterday. I didn't have a lot of time to answer any, but there were some really nice doodles and pictures sent to me thar made me smile every time I opened my phone. It meant a whole lot to me.

I keep my birthdays pretty tame, so I wasn't overloaded with people or anything yesterday, but I went out to eat, went on a hike, and made soft pretzels (: I also feel like an old person because the big gift of the day was a new blender lol. I make a lot of protein smoothies, so now I don't need to use one that's nearly older than me to make them.

It's really weird to me that it's already April now. It barely feels like the year has begun. I forgot how many flowers are all over this yard, they're finally showing their faces. Lots of rhododendrons especially.

What's your guy's favorite season? Since working out more and losing insulation on my body, the cold has bothered me more lately. I still love winter the most, though. A winter wonderland beats out any other view in my opinion, even if I have to double bundle up. Gonna have to wait a few seasons to get back to that now though lmao.

[artsy0wl]

Volitile Contact and Dragon Protection Final Chapter

Apologies now if the ending at all seems rushed.

Three days Raihan’s arse. Of course the day Leon was supposed to return home would be the day prep for the Champion Cup started. Which meant Leon just had to stay in Wyndon with Rose. Rose planned that, Raihan just knew it.

Day four, Raihan just about broke the doors to Macro Cosmos. If Leon hadn’t bolted to Raihan, hugging him, there would have been a lot more damage. He was ready to cause as much damage as possible to save Leon. But being the saint he was, Leon found a way to soothe the situation.

“Ready for the Champion Cup?” Leon asked, burying his face in Raihan’s shoulder.

Raihan could tell he was in distress, but he was using the upcoming tournament as a distraction. Leon’s breathing was awkward, moving from quick little breathes and long deep ones. And Leon’s Beware hug couldn’t fool Raihan. Leon was shaking like a wet Meowth in winter.

“Ready as I’ll every be.” Shrugging, Raihan dislodged Leon, one hand holding Leon’s shoulder while the other held the side of Leon’s face. “You promised three days.”

Leon winced. “I’m sorry. I forgot the Champion Cup was kicking off yesterday. Rose couldn't do it without me.”

“You and I both know that’s a lie. He planned that, knowing damn well you would feel obligated to help as the champion.”

Leon shrugged. “Can we get lunch? I’m hungry.”

Pulling out of Raihan’s gripped, he tried to lead Raihan to the exit. A tug stopped him as Raihan pulled him back. Hugging Leon, Raihan had questions he had to get answers to.

“Did he lock you up?”

“No.”

“Did he hurt you?”

“No.”

“Did he hurt Hop?”

Leon violently shaking his head. “No.” He buried his face in Raihan’s hoodie, wanting to disappear. “Can we just go? We only have two hours before the tournament and I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning.”

~

It’ll only be a minute.

Raihan knew he shouldn’t have believed it. He didn’t. Yet, he let Leon go anyways. The tournament went off without a hitch. The finals would happen tomorrow. In the meantime, Leon agreed to go to dinner with Hop, Gloria, and Raihan. Until Leon asked to check something out really quick. Leon promised it wouldn’t be long, but when Raihan saw Leon head towards Rose’s Tower, he knew Leon was in for a world of trouble.

By a stroke of luck, Piers had crossed paths with Leon. At the same time, Raihan had the worst luck with timing. Because he didn’t know what was going on, Piers wouldn’t have known to stop him. Had Raihan caught him sooner, maybe he could have.

“He’s just meeting the chairman.” Piers stated.

“It’s not that simple.” Raihan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Why not? Rose is his sponsor, the president of Macro Cosmo, and the head of the league. What’s not simple about that?”

“What that man has been doing to Leon is down right criminal.”

Folding his arms, Piers groaned. “Explain.”

Raihan growled, losing patience. “We don’t have time for this.”

He had to get to Leon before Rose did. As he started to run towards the tower, a hand grabbed his wrist and yanked him back. Darkened eyes were unamused, but concerned.

“Let me help you. I just need answers. Is Leon in danger? If so, how much?”

“Yes. In the last week, Rose has bashed his skull unto a concrete wall, broken Leon’s boundaries attempting to kiss him, and his Ferrothorn left a long gash in his back.” He huffed, eyes wincing. “On top of that, he’s been beating Leon for years and threatening Hop to keep him quiet.”

Raihan yanked his arm out of Piers’ grip, realizing that Piers was wide eyed, disgusted, and fidgeting. There was no going back now. Not that Raihan could any longer. Raihan needed to tell someone. Anyone who would listen.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. To assure his power I assume. Look,” Raihan showed him the photos of Leon’s back, “Leon wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was just thanking Charizard for his help. And then there’s this.”

Raihan showed Piers a video he had secretly caught the threat Rose made after getting Leon. One instance catching a glimpse of Leon in accepted shock.

Icy blue eyes burned into Raihan, sharply and cautiously. “Please tell me you took these to the authorities.”

“I’m working on it, while we were at the hospital, I got the number of a detective who checked in.”

Piers nodded. “Good. He deserves justice.” Black and white hair slid as Piers looked at Rose Tower. “Save Leon. If I don’t hear from you in fifteen minutes, we’re coming after you. Might be sooner depending on Hop.”

Raihan smiled. “Thank you Piers.”

Softly smiling back, Piers hugged Raihan. “You know, I didn’t think you guys would last a week. But I’m glad you proved me wrong. I’m glad Leon has someone like you to watch out for him.”

An airy chuckle escaped Raihan. “What can I say, I learned my lesson. I’m only sorry I didn’t with you.”

“Never held it against you. It wasn’t in either of our control.” Piers shrugged, hair briefly exposing three light silvers on his throat. “I’m just glad we can still be friends.” He released Raihan. “Now, go!”

Nodding, Raihan ran towards Rose’s Tower.

~

Leon felt glass crack as his body hit the window. Thankfully, he wasn’t bleeding, but he knew he would if he slammed the window that hard again. Rose’s hand gripped Leon’s throat.

“You will postpone the battle.”

“I… won’t. As the champion it’s my duty to...”

Leon chocked as his airways tightened. “As my sponsored champion, your duty is to obey me!” He released Leon’s throat, letting him breathe. “Do you understand me?”

“I… refuse.”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to discipline you.”

“Let him go, Rose!”

Leon’s blood ran cold as Rose smirked. “Perfect timing.” Keeping Leon pinned, he turned to face Raihan. “I’m growing tired of your constant interfering, boy.” He grabbed Leon’s chin. “But since you're so insistent one inserting yourself in the situation, I guess you won’t mind witnessing Leon cheating on you.”

“You wouldn’t.” Raihan hissed, stepping towards him.

“I would.” Rose wrapped an arm around Leon’s waist and dragged Leon beside him. “I won’t go too far, but you will hate every minute of it. Don’t you agree, Leon?” He kissed Leon’s temple. “Where should we begin?”

THUD

If trauma was one hell of a drug, adrenaline and rage were nightmarish. With a fist curled and amber eyes widened, Leon froze in place. He hit Rose. He actually hit Rose.

Once his adrenaline withdrew, and now freed of Rose’s hold, Leon bolted to Raihan. Into surprised open arms. He didn’t look back at Rose, too uneasy to.

“Get me out of here.”

Blinking, Raihan nodded. “Let’s go home.”

~

A weak and damaged body slowly moved as breathes slowly escaped. Purple hair blanketed over Leon and Raihan as Leon’s face buried itself in Raihan’s chest.

Leon almost died today. Rose had completely lost it after Leon decked him. He released Eternatus, threatened to send Eternatus on the crowd if Leon didn’t try to capture it, and didn’t even seem fazed as Eternatus attacked Leon.

Had Charizard not been released already, Raihan wondered how long Leon would have survived, if he even would have, had they waited for an ambulance. The horror on Hop’s face was all Raihan needed to act fast. With Gloria taking over the fight with Eternatus, Raihan knew Hop was in good hands.

He got Leon to the hospital in the nick of time. And after several hours of intense agony, they were able to stabilize Leon.

As for Rose, he turned himself in. Surprising given just how determined he was to get away with the harm he caused Leon. Maybe there was a tiny bit of regret in Rose’s heart. A morsel of guilt.

Not that it mattered as far as Raihan was concerned. The moment he was arrested, he wasn’t just charged with starting the Darkest Day. With the evidence Raihan had gathered, he was also charged with several counts of abuse.

Leon wasn’t expected to testify unless the trial absolutely called for it. But given the photos and videos, Raihan doubted it. There was no room to deflect or deny what Raihan had caught.

That was a good thing. Or as good as it could be given the circumstances. All that mattered was that Leon was safe. Finally, truly safe. Even if the road to recovery was long.

Leon whimpered, pulling Raihan out of his train of thought. Tears streamed down his face as he curled into a ball. Wrapping his arms around Leon, Raihan tightly held him. Burying his face in Leon’s hair, Raihan’s darkened.

Leon almost died today. All because of greed, control, and jealousy. All because a man wanted to keep Leon to himself in the most possessively abusive way. And had Raihan not been there, Rose just might have enslaved Leon to obey his desires.

Running his hand down Leon’s back, he reminisced on the scar that had formed. The ugly, thorny scar caused by a selfish and ugly man. Raihan didn’t prevent it, and now Leon would have to live with the trauma for the rest of his life.

A sharp gasp escaped Leon as he violently woke up. Taking a moment to investigate his surroundings. Once he realized he was safe, he felt a damp spot on his head. Shuffling, he propped himself up. Teal eyes were drowning in tears.

Leon yelped as Raihan pulled him down. Leon awkwardly laid on Raihan as one arm wrapped around Leon’s waist and the other around Leon's shoulders. The dragon trainer hid his face Leon’s shoulder, sobbing.

“You almost died.” Raihan whispered. “You almost… I can’t…” A choking sound escaped him. “Leon, I can’t lose you.”

Softly smiling, Leon shuffled around. He lightly kissed Raihan’s forehead, wrapping his arms around Raihan’s shoulders. Resting his head on the pillow, he tilted his face toward his partner.

“You won’t lose me.” Leon assured. “I promise.” He kissed his check. “In fact, you saved me. You were my light when I was in the dark. You showed me how to stand my ground and how to love.” He hugged Raihan tighter. “I love you and I’m thankful that you continue to save me everyday.”

A roar of a sob escaped Raihan as he held Leon tighter. Whispering sweet nothingness to Raihan, Leon let Raihan expel his fear, grief, and pain. They would both need aid after today. But so long as they were together, Leon was confident they would be okay.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary15

9/19-20/2023

less exhausted now than yesterday.

i got 5 songs re-mixed today, which puts me at 13/25 (yes there are songs i forgot i had to work on and there's one i added that's out already but i should redo it for like, bandcamp and spotify/whatever (and there's some i'm still not counting because they're pretty simple and honestly i feel like they won't be too difficult)).

today i did get really happy doing all of this at least, i had a breakthrough w/ the guitar processing stuff that's at least gonna help a lot on some of these songs/tones, where i use something that simulates a lossy mp3 and stick it early in the chain, parallel with something, and then use the chime-y sound that it creates, essentially a warbly reactive bandpass with some random elements, and it helps add a sense of real guitar, it also helps un-deaden and de-cotton-ball some of the sounds, but i think i can work on that still. there's an answer somewhere to that problem.

maybe i can go do that now, who knows. i've got some loose time i guess but i should actually let myself relax, all the best ideas come to me when i'm not overworking myself. i think partially the problem is the sound loses a lot of dynamics/transients which would give it more textural shape.

it's also just the nature of distortion. stacking so much makes the sound, i dunno, rounder, or not round, it's sharp, but it's kind of like razor thin in ways. i like the razor part, and i like thin, but i want it to be a little more present, i think that means needing some more low end, it could be a situation where there's two channels, one maintaining the lower end.

also what the hell is up with impulse response cabinet things and them sounding so freaking, i dunno, weak.

whatever. but this is all my life is right now. kinda. tomorrow i'm going to do errands (woo (actually crying but whatever)) and hopefully i'll get to do some of the short songs before i am whisked away.

oh my god i can get post-grunge impulse responses. honestly i could on a lark but honestly no thanks i don't need to fool around with an impulse response based on the guitar cabs the guy from hoobastank uses. what is the point.

there's people who would see that and say they're going to make the most fucked up music ever using that, like a dare, i'm going to be brave and say that i am too good for that. even if i'm stupid and cleaning up a 25 song (+ more) mess. maybe i sound like i hate fun but i just hate what some people treat as fun, or i don't hate it. i just feel bored and frustrated by it cuz it's like, i'm gonna handle trash and act above it and also extol it because x y or z and it's a lame impulse and also i guess gently tied to some weird revivalist bent people can take up.

sorry for bitching and moaning about something that's essentially really specific and dumb.

listening to other fucked up guitar music makes me feel good about where my stuff is at, it's like i can figure out some tiny things and get it where it needs to be. i think as it stands the biggest issue could really be the bass sounds, they still come out a bit loud, which is an easy thing to fix, i just wonder if lowering the db is actually what i should do, but what else, who knows.

vocals also are a bit tough but they always are, you just find where they sit and stick them there, is how i feel about it.

who knows how much longer this whole mixing talk is gonna go on for. it could be my life forever. i don't want it to be, i want to write again soon but my mind is wholly on this, on the communion w/ soundwaves through abstract graphical and numerical means. an extremely material circumstance i think.

i got distracted from my #superimportant diary by a conversation with a friend, it's veered into a discussion of when we've felt insulted by artists people compare us to. the two of us have been burroughs'd by people, and not to say he's a bad writer or anything, but it's not what either of us are going for, and it's interesting how people can be really appreciative of what you're doing or something and vocalize that, and you can sit there and feel, in the wake of someone being really nice to you, and honest with you, and a lot of things i feel like i should appreciate, i am left incapable because of a bad taste. this isn't what happens even most of the time with comparisons, especially with my music. it's always nice to hear what people think. often they feel kind of left field, but good, or they're so left field it's like, i'm glad you got that out of it, but something about how people do it with writing in particular, there's a level of people treating your voice like it's a party trick and a condescension i guess.

it's also such an asshole thing to complain about someone being nice to you, but at the end of everything, it's just whatever, it's a thing. i think i'm allowed to ruminate when it's something that's a strange feature of my life. it's an ugly kind of rock formation i see that isn't a terrible eyesore but it's strange the earth's mantle and crust and everything conspired towards that, and the strangeness not so great and not especially meaningful, you are just put before it and nod at it and think about it later, i guess.

i shouldn't have to justify everything about my life or inside my head but i do i guess cuz i'm cuhrayzzzzeeeeeeee.

when i type like that i feel like i'm actually getting myself across, not in a way where like, i know someone understands, it's just letting something deeper inside out. it's how i actually feel and i guess no one could understand why it makes me feel, i dunno, whatever cluster of things it makes me feel.

i just remembered ryuichi sakamoto's passing, and almost cried, might cry, kidn of crying, crying.

not much to say about it, just a real tragedy, a real legend and genius. i love him a lot.

it's a bad idea to listen to forbidden colors, but i will.

what a perfect articulation of something, that song. i don't know why sakamoto is one of the musician deaths that makes me the saddest, i really do cry over him more than any other, it's not new at all really, it's not fresh anymore and it still gets to me, and he was old, it wasn't shocking really. but i guess we all knew it was coming, those who keep up at least saw the stuff about his cancer. i think it's because his music and how he wrote music represents something fairly singular to me. it's hard to get me to sit and listen to anything classical adjacent, him doing solo piano stuff a lot makes that easier, since i love that anyways, but his particular interpretations of older kinds of music are just really moving. you can sense his entanglement with that music and the will to move past it, the recognition of others, through time.

now i'm thinking about house music. good house music always makes me really melancholy, even if the song is happy, endlessly joyless, really it's the joy that makes me sad, it makes the gulf apparent, i am here and now, and all the parties these old songs were made to keep going and start and end, never even expected me to be there. meaner kinds of dance music are what i end up making, because of that emotional reality. i guess it's not that house is uncomplicatedly happy or something either, dj sprinkles talks about that on an album. it's also where a lot of queer people collected themselves, and partied, but not really escaping a miserable material reality, things like that. the sense of loss and distance and alienation is greater now. only for a night, and in the night, do you and your body join, a question is asked, how long can the night go on for, and a journey starts there, and what are all the ways we can modulate time, and so on, not to escape, but to be embodied, to exit the escpaism that surrounds us at all times (something something the spectacle (which on some level includes dance music, especially now.))

us being general and not localized to queerness, only to the downtrodden, of which there are many.

this is a lame pick, but for these particular emotional reasons/resonances, the song i'm your brother by round one (basic channel basically) is one of the best house songs, it feels like it's speaking to that exactly.

and i guess i'll end this entry with a link to another dance song, colder, not house, but it's a song that perfectly captures how it feels to walk home from work at night, not liberated but feeling liberation on your tongue and that denial, the slim hours you have to live your life, all our desperate existences, and stuff.

byebye !!!!