#( god just as a nb ace I relate to and see so much of myself in her ?? i love her )

[allmothered]

I just saw a non-binary aloy fan blog and god my skin is so clear 

[the-real-nekoma-kenma]

If you want to know a bunch of BS about me, here it is

NOTE: YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ ALL OF THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT TO

Just looked up Solangelo for the first time on youtube in a while and I'm so glad I did I just got rushed back with a bunch of memories and I'm sooooo happy about it

Tbh, I'm pretty sure that discovering and being such a hardcore shipper of it was the thing that made me question my sexuality for the first time and since then I've gone through various things and finally settled with pansexual. Even though Fierrochase was the first gay ship that I shipped, Solangelo was the one that spoke the most with me for some reason and I think that the reason why was because of the fact that I feel like I can relate to Nico so much on a personal level internally, but my actual personality is so much like Wills that the fact that the combination of the two described me as a person, it actually made me feel more comfortable with myself than I had felt in a long time. 

I know that both the Magnus Chase and PJO series have also helped a friend of mine question their (they're nonbinary she/they) sexuality and gender identity a lot and honestly it kind of made me question my gender as well. 

Most of you reading this will also know that I am a GINORMOUS mcr fan and even my account name is named after them. After I found out that Gerard Way was actually he/they nonbinary, and said friend recently came out to me as well, I’ve been doing the most questioning about my gender identity here the past few weeks than I ever have. I feel like gender-fluid would be the best thing for me but at the same time, I'm not sure at all because I know that I'm fine being a female, but something in me is saying that being a male would be so much more fun and considering the fact that I have closer male friends than I do female friends is another thing to consider because most girls are all about the drama and makeup and dating scene but I've never been heavily into that at all and I'm much more comfortable talking about things like rock bands or art; even sports some times than I have ever felt talking about the school drama. 

However, even considering all of this, I feel like being fluid would just be me posing and that I'm just a masculine girl or something but that doesn't change the fact that there will be times where my brain will glitch out and say “hey, you're a dude” and then ill realize that I have boobs and all of the parts down there that makes me a girl but then I get mildly irritated by that fact. I still think that dudes have it easier and they have more freedom and honestly, I think that all I want is that freedom to be able to walk around shirtless or to be able to listen to Heavy Metal without being told that it’s a male genre and that I'm only doing it to look cool.

Side note, I've even considered getting my hair cut like Andy Biersack/Black’s hair is but keeping the red just because I think that it would look fucking awesome but again, I’m a girl and i cat have that hair cut with the sides shaved because it's not feminine enough. Well sorry Sharen but having long hair is a hassle and takes to long to flat iron and brush so please leave. 

For those of you that might don’t already know how my parents are about things, ill update you. My dad and stepmom are homophobic transphobic Christian people. I accidentally came out as pan to them. They proceeded to tell me that bi and pan people don't exist and that they are just “confused queers” that haven't picked a gender yet. They said that ace and aro people just don’t have developed hormones yet and that they just need to find “the one” and then their sex drive or whatever will kick in. They said that trans or nb people were just crazy people who don’t like stereotypes and are doing whatever just to spite god and gave me the whole “god built you perfectly” talk. (Every time I dye my hair, they say the same thing to me about that too) 

Having been originally raised on these horrible LGBT hating ideals, it was fucking WILD whenever I read the Percy Jackson and the Magnus Chase books that started talking about being gay and trans which blew my gay eye open and cleared that religious fog from my eyes. Around that time I entered middle school and found out that hey, I know some people who are messing with their sexualities. My close friends are even pan or bi! I started getting reeaally defensive over the gay community and barely tolerated any type of hate towards them but I never questioned my own sexuality.

Then the summer between eighth grade and freshman year happened and I realized that I had a crush on my best friend Brittany (not the nb one). 

I was distraught because I had always thought of myself as a perfect little straight girl with strong opinions on topics. I got to highschool and saw that you could look down every hallway in that building and see at least one gay couple or a trans person (My highschool is fucking awesome so suck it) and I felt so much more comfortable with myself.

In case anyone is wondering what made my decision that I was pan instead of bi final, it was the fact that if Alex Fierro was a real person, I would totally date her/him without any hesitation what so ever because she/he is r a d.

Mcr happened, I got genderally confused, and here I am debating on whether I'm gender fluid or not. 

So yeah, that’s what’s going on right now. Idk why I felt the need to type all of this out and post it on this hellsite but I feel like I would be a bit more excepted here.

Also, don't be surprised if here soon I end up changing my gender thingy on my bio. It might happen, it might not, idk. 

[clinically-not-straight]

@richrd-nixsn-is-aro-cause-aroooo asked a valid question so it's fucking story time:

This story is called:

Why I didn't come out for the longest time and nearly ended up homophobic instead.

If you've already heard this story then I'd like to informally apologise now.

Once upon a time I was a very old, little boy of about 11. I'll have been in year 7 at the time. I learned about bisexuals and pansexuals, because they were both in my classes in secondary school.

"What a bizarre group of people. Loving either sex? I wasn't aware you could do that" I thought and continued on with my life. something about pan felt wrong to me but I didn't care, it didn't affect me and I didn't think hard enough about it to see any problems.

Time passes, I am an older little boy now, probably around 12-13. I got social media, by God was it gay as shit, rainbows fucking everywhere. At first, I didn't care, a little bit of gay here and there was fine, it's the spice of life or whatever. It got to a point where every other post was lgbt shit and it got super annoying for me, leading to me stupidly taking on a persona of "yeah, sure you're gay but don't make it your whole personality." This persona only worsened when I saw people showing up with sexualities I'd never heard of before and NB, because that was new news to us where I'm from. These people would get really upset if you questioned anything at all, the legitimacy of things, what their gender was, how necessary or confusing it was.

Coincidentally, this was also the year that I realised I'd been attracted to more men than I thought. I pushed those feelings away, not by much but enough for me to not think about them.

The sands of time wear upon me once more. I must have been about 14 or 15 at this point. I noticed LGBT people were just beingbdicks to straight people, but I noticed it wasn't gay men or lesbians quite so much. It was bisexuals, pansexuals, asexuals, NBs, the full, non-homosexual, monty. I started seeing people calling themselves asexual lesbians and aro-aces online. I'd changed at this point, I didn't care about the "whole personality" thing any more, they can express it however. My new problem was LGBT people that weren't gays or lesbians. I noticed that it wasn't them causing the drama that was bothering me but that it was non-homosexuals so I separated them from LGBT in my head, why? Made me feel not homophobic, simple as.

Now, I noticed a lot more of the split attraction stuff coming up, and frankly I didn't get it, so I asked questions, incredibly politely because I was far nicer back then, and got shouted at for it. I took this as a sign that I shouldn't associate with these people "I'm not a twat like them" I thought loudly. And so the bisexual thoughts stayed inside, but this time they didn't go away.

16 now, something something time. I'm in college, I befriend a bisexual girl, and I have a tumblr (an old one that houses a very different persona and political alignment). I know now that LGBT isn't bad, just a bunch of them are dicks, but that's not to do with them being LGBT. Split attraction model people are still dicks when you ask questions, they answer nothing and fling shit at you like apes, as do many others when you ask questions.

Years pass and I'm getting a little bored of writing this story now. The bottom line is that this group of people helped me stay in the closet for longer than necessary, I had to actively force myself out of the closet regardless of how little I felt I related to these people. And when I came out of the shitty, smelly closet I realised nothing changed, those people were still the same, making no sense and being pissy about it when questioned. I have a problem with confusing LGBT labels because I know what it's like to be on the opposite side, I had questions then and I still do I'm not just gonna be dragged into agreeing with some shit because everyone else does, that's culty.

And to answer your question @richrd-nixsn-is-aro-cause-aroooo it's just because I think that the labels are most of the time unnecessary and confusing. An asexual lesbian is actually just a lesbian, they just aren't having sex. They aren't actually ace, because they feel attraction. I'm beyond sure I covered this already. The ideas can very easily work together, it's just that labels make for their own problem.

[scorpiointuitiveenergist]

Experiences with the Hellenic Gods: APHRODITE

Friendly Reminder: They are gods, but they are very human also, so they make mistakes. They look and act like us because in that way, we can relate to them.   All of this are my own experiences, so if you had something different, you are welcome to comment, still doesn’t invalidate my opinion, neither yours. Caring is sharing so if you find this useful, share this to someone that might need some enlightment in the subject.

So here we are, the real deal, my beautiful sea-born mom, my lady, my queen of love and aesthetics. Yes this is going to be a loooong post! Lets talk about my current tutelar deity, the one who is teaching me a lot, the Star that shines the most! (yes she wanted a lot of epithets before anouncing her name, lol) Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty has arrived on stage! As I said in previous chapters, She is the one who took me in her guardianship, when I prayed for which one of the twelve gods wanted to be my patron, I suddenly went outside and saw in the west a huge pink cloud shaped like a heart. Before that I she took me as her student, I had once prayed in tears in front of Venus at that time, I was conflicted a bit with Christianity, but praying to her star, that time, was so inside me I had to cry, because since I am gay and everything I do is bad to their believes, I broke the mold, and cried after making it, because inside my soul, I knew she was going to understand me. She made me break the chain my mind had that what I was doing was wrong. I was a pretty rebel guy, but still that christian background kinda haunted me. So now I dont feel guilty anymore and I am able to perform better on spells and contacting other gods. I can’t talk you a lot about what she makes me to do because tutelar deities secrets are personal stuff, but still she told me I could give you some advices she have given to me. Aphrodite can be a very lovable, energetic and happy woman, but she can be very strict and if you dont respect her way she can be fierce. So after doing that prayer, the next day, I was walking when suddenly I felt her purifying, fresh and energetic energy, I wanted to dance and smile, it was a very nice sensation. But it was short timed. Another day, I was deppresed about a boy, and Aphrodite told me that I should try ivoke her energy into me. I was kinda skeptical about it, because I feared she take my body and made me do things at my expenses. I did my proper research and found out that actually you dont get possesed, but rather get spirited, you are you, but with different perceptions that outside people can see, feeling diferent too. So I did it, it lasted about an hour or so. I saw my eyes in the mirror and I saw the glow, Aphrodite’s glow in my eyes I started smiling and feeling much better. My brother even saw me and felt stranged, he told me I had puppy eyes and felt my energy pretty... entuthiast. I went to the bus and felt how Her powers, was fixing my hurted heart. It felt like the shattered pieces were getting healed and made me feel much better. After the bus stop, I had to walk to college for my test and an english teacher, a young handsome atheltic guy, gave me a ride to college, we are very friendly with each other, but that day, he never stopped staring at me, even I felt his face come too close to mine that time, nothing inappropiate happened but still it was fun! I always felt he had a small crush on me and that day it seemed a bit obvious. Still I went to the exam and everything. The teacher is a young handsome dude too, but he is pretty much an arrogant guy that could be nice sometimes, he had a bitchy attitude with me sometimes. That day he saw me and I smiled to him back. God, you would have loved to see his smile, he smiled like if I actually made him really happy! I did my test and everything, even finally met the guy who I was interested in (not in a romantic way, but he was new and spoke with argentinian accent, so I felt pretty drawn to him... I am not going to lie, he is hot, still I wanted to know him in a not romantic way!) Her energy can help you ease situations and people, even other gods! Ares for example got more fond to me after getting a bit of Aphrodite esence. (After that situation and banished her energy from me, I felt a bit of her inside me, I checked with my magical energist brother and he told me that was like a back up just in case my feelings got damaged and could help me right away) I told you these because Aphrodite likes to show off how can adventurous can be on her side, so she was like, “Tell them that story!”, so if you found it pretty offensive or weird I apologize.

So in my experience Aphrodite has been a great teacher, friend, and goddess! She likes to hang out a lot, laugh, joke and look pretty. But remember that she is a Goddess, and deserves respect. She can be strict and get angry, because love is a very serious matter to her. You know, the love is the strongest force, no surprise why she could protect Paris from Zeus thunderbolt using her girdle to protect him. More importantly, many women seems to despise her for being a slut, sex slave driven by men desire or weird shit like that. She actually hates when a man or woman talk about sexuality as if it is a piece of meat. For her making love is connecting to somebody else, enjoying you and your partner’s body, soul and mind. She can be quite liberal, yes, but she makes love because she desires to share a good experience and enjoy her body, rather than please or fullfill an arousal. She DECIDES who to give and make love too. But an most important aspect is that She likes to teach is about self love. Straight, Gay, Bi, Trans, Ace, NB, all and nothing, she loves them and teach them to love themselves. Thats why she is happy, and healed my heart, not because I wanted to attract someone, but because she knew I had to feel better, and in order to shine in your beauty, you have to smile. She is more of the beauty in happiness and Persephone beauty in sadness (I will explain myself in that chapter). She wants you to smile, enjoy yourselves, fertilize your feelings and make the fruit that others will perceive and find them attractive. She believes anyone has a star in their hearts and you can make it shine by loving yourself. So keep practicing self love, she likes to remind that the most important thing is to feel good and embrace yourself. She also loves people who fight for their happines, she can be lovely but a brave soldier too. Fight for love, not for anything Ares was his lover ;). Rember this is my experience with her, so I share how I perceive her. She likes pretty things roses, seashells, jewels, roses with honey, but rememeber, if you are going to offer her something, cheap or not, try to be in the best condition it can, wilted flowers are a huge no for her LOL.

Blessings to everyone and I’m sorry for the long post, I hope Aphrodite bless your life dear readers!

[shaydixons]

wlw survey results

thank you so much to everyone who participated in mine and @aliciqvikander ’s survey! we ended up getting 221 responses. below is a breakdown of each question.

disclaimer: there were a couple of responses that we considered to be disrespectful or homophobic that we decided to delete from the survey pool. the idea of this survey was to gauge the feelings & opinions of wlw skam fans regarding lgbt representation in the show; it was made with wlw fans in mind, and there were some skam fans who decided to take the survey and give disrespectful/homophobic answers, which was not the point of the survey.

part 1: demographics

what is your sexuality?

the most common were lesbians (83 people)  and bisexuals (74 people), followed by 22 pan people and 17 questioning, only 4 straight people (whose answers we didn’t delete bc they weren’t disrespectful). there were also several people who identified as gay (4), queer (2), sapphic (2), asexual (5), or other sexualities (lesbian ace, demisexual pansexual, biromantic with a preference towards women, panromantic ace, biromantic asexual)

what is your gender?

the most common answers were female/woman/girl/cis girl, with many nb people (19), as well as several questioning people (5), and just 2 men.

what is your age?

the most common answer was 17-19 (90), with many 20-24 year olds (62) and 14-16 year olds (51), as well as 9 25-30 year olds and 7 people over 30, and just 2 under 14.

where are you from?

there were people from all over who took the survey, but the most common answers were the US, Sweden, France, UK, Brazil, Finland, and Norway.

when did you start watching Skam?

the most common answer by far was season 3 (155), followed by season 4 (32), then season 1 (23), then season 2 (10).

part 2: opinions

what is your favorite season?

the most common answer was season 3 (141), then season 1 (65), then season 4 (10) and just 2 people favored season 2.

what fandoms are you a part of?

the most common answer to this was obviously tumblr (212) seeing as we posted the survey on tumblr. Other popular answers were twitter (34) and instagram (42), other than that we have some sprinkled answers such as discord, jodel and facebook. Plus some people who said they were not really active in any fandom.

who are your top 3 characters?

the most favored characters in order are Sana (158), Isak (117), Eva (104), Even (94), Noora (59), Vilde (53), Jonas (33), Chris (16), Elias (14), Yousef (8), a tie between Magnus and Mahdi (5), Eskild (3), 2 people wanted to specify that they liked season 1 Noora, and one vote for Dr. Skrulle! (specifically: that fierce school nurse lady whose name i don't remember but she's really cool”) Nobody picked Wilhelm.

who is your favorite canon ship?

the most picked ship was evak (166), after that we have yousana (44) and then joneva (6). four people also replied that they dont really care for any ship and there was one vote for noorhelm (although it’s worth noting that the one vote came from one of the only two men who took the survey). not one person chose vagnus.

[edit: the person who chose noorhelm messaged me to tell me that they clicked noorhelm by mistake and meant to choose yousana!]

who are your favorite non-canon ships?

The most common answers were Nooreva (170), Evilde (156), Evana (58) and Sanoora (39). Other popular ones were Noorvilde (31), Johdi (26), Noorevilde (24), Joora (15), Chrisana and Chrilde both had 10, Mohnstad had 8, Sana x Vilde had 7, Jonas x PChris and Mikael x Jonas both had 4, and there were other assorted ships including Vilde x Some hipster girl that could have been introduced in her season (3), Vilde x The soft butch lesbian she would have dated in her season (1), Isak x PChris (2), Elias/Eskild (2), Eva/Iben (1), Noora/Mari (1), Adam x Mutta (1), Vilde x Ingrid (1)

What is Vilde’s sexuality?

this was one of the most unified questions with a total of 204 out of 221 saying shes a lesbian! the other answers were bi (13) and pan (4)

What is Noora’s sexuality?

the most common answer was lesbian (110), followed by bisexual (61), then straight (29), then pan (18). i think it’s worth noting that we saw a pattern that bisexual was often put by bisexuals and pansexual was also put by a lot of pansexuals, so maybe people just see themselves in Noora.

What’s Eva’s sexuality?

This question was, as Vilde’s, very unified with 209 out of 220 answering bisexual then there were 6 people who answered pan, 4 people who answered straight, and 1 who answered lesbian.

What is Sana’s sexuality?

this one was pretty split! the most common answer was bi (104), followed by straight (81), then pan (28), then lesbian (2).

What is Chris’s sexuality?

this one was also pretty split! the most common answer is pan (117), followed by straight (65), then bi (22), then lesbian (11)

Opinion on queerbaiting & Vilde?

the overwhelmingly popular opinion is that queerbaiting did happen. 109 people said there was explicit queerbaiting, 81 people said they originally meant to make Vilde a lesbian then decided not to, only 3 people said there was no queerbaiting, and there were also an array of answers, most of which say queerbaiting did happen. (“I'm super torn bc I feel Vilde is a lesbian but she doesn't realize it yet. Like I believe she would figure it out in college (and I think her dating Magnus is important in her self discovery) and ugh I wish we could get an epilogue of some sort with her a canon lesbian. Unfortunately if that doesn't happen, I feel like it is queerbaiting.”) (���julie treats lesbians like were a fucking joke”) (“i will be on my deathbed telling everyone that vilde lien hellerud was a lesbian and showing them my powerpoint on all the signs throughout the seasons but honestly idk if they really meant for her to be gay or not. she is in my heart tho.”)

opinion on noorhelm?

the most popular answer by far was “wilhelm is an abuser who can rot in hell and Noora deserved better” (161). 27 people say they were a bad couple, 13 people say they were okay but not as bad as people say, ZERO people said they were cute, there were also an array of write-in answers, mostly negative. (“Some parts of their relationships were good, the rest - pure trash on wilhelm's part”)  (“classic romance novel damage, gaslighting & emotional manipulation”)  (“I swear to christ, WillHELL does not deserve Noora - only Eva does, duh - and their whole relationship didn't make any sense from a character point of view! Also I hate that they had to take this beautiful, strong woman's season and make it about a guy! An emotional ABUSER at that!! Like whyyyyy???????????”) (“DICKHELM NEEDS TO JUST GET OUT. PRISON. SOMEWHERE SECLUDED. NO ONE DESERVES TO LAY THEIR EYES ON HIM. i hate him with a passion i swear to fucking god I HAD TO MOTIVATE MYSELF TO WATCH S2 and i was in complete pain whenever dickhelm was on screen i hate him and NOORA IS A LIPSTICK LESBIAN DONT TELL ME OTHERWISE SHE DESERVES BETTER”)

opinion on nooreva?

this one was pretty evenly split! the most popular answer is that they were set up as a couple (85), followed by they would be a cute couple but they were platonic in canon (80), followed by they were in love in canon (54), and only 2 people said they were just friends.

what do you think of the skam fandom?

most people think it’s fine as far as fandoms go (126), then it was a tie between a great fandom and mostly demonic, each with 47.

for wlw: could you relate to vilde’s behavior?

i’ll be honest with you guys, we probably should have made this a write-in question rather than multiple choice because the results were not very conclusive. 75 lesbians could see themselves in her, 64 bisexuals could see themselves in her, 13 pansexuals could see themselves in her, and 30 people said no.

part 3: long-answer questions

why do you think julie didn’t want to include wlw in the show?

the consensus was that either she’s lesbophobic, the show is written with straight people in mind, or she wanted to but ended up not finding the time to write it in. every answer was wonderful and i wish we could include them all, but here are a couple ones that i like:

bc she's a classic lesbophobic piece of shit and believes wlw can't exist except for punchlines and ridicule

probably because she thought it wouldn't sell as well as an mlm couple. i mean you gotta please those straight girls

She Is Bad at Writing and forgets wtf she is doing and hates logically developing characters

"we did one storyline about exploring sexuality so that's all we need! anything else would be overkill :)))" and also trying to appeal/relate to straight teenage girls. also noora should have been a lesbian but julie used her as a self insert character. also just generally media doesn't take wlw seriously our perceive our relationships/feelings as legitimate

cause she's a typical straight girl who thinks wlw are icky/she's actually a closeted lesbian who hasn't realised yet

are you disappointed with the lgbt representation in skam? please elaborate.

the consensus is that isak, even, and eskild are all wonderful and they’re great for what they are, which is 2 white gays and 1 white pan boy. it would have been great to have some diversity, especially by adding a wlw, specifically vilde or eva. here are a few i like:

For a show that was originally made for teenage girls and to accurately represent them its unbelievable they didnt include a single wlw character. Evak was nice but in s4 turned into complete fanservice and they lost a lot of the development they made in s3. WHERE ARE THE LESBIANS JULIE

definitely like dude evak was cute and all, and powerful and moving, and I was infinitely glad that was represented onscreen. but on the other hand—that wasn't me? and for a show that claimed to be so progressive, it seemed to mock the concept of bi girls and lesbians at every single turn. fuck, when i think about how noora's response to vilde's er du lesbisk question I still get so pissed

lol yeah julie andem treats lesbian existence as a literal joke and yet she still gets all this praise for the great lgbt rep on her show because of isak and even (and s3 was good but in s4 they didn't even feel like they're own characters anymore just a couple with all these weird nods to evak fans)

Yes, in a show meant for teenage girls the only LGBT representation was with a gay boy and a pan boy, and that's because straight girls love to fetishize and obsess over gay boys for some reason. The fact that Julie only wrote about LGBT boys indicates to me that she is writing the show not for all teenage girls, but for the straight teenage girls that she used to be.

yessss. how can we have three mlm but no wlw??? its like whooo we have a canon pan guy, but if i remember correctly he never actually says the word? and eskild is obviously written as gay, but im pretty sure we see eva and vilde kiss more times than we see eskild kiss a guy, and still they're both supposed to be straight?? and like eva, noora and vilde all have so many characteristics of lesbians/bi girls, yet NONE of them turned out to be wlw in canon?? thats so fucking unrealistic!! in my whole friend circle of about 15 girls, there's maybe three who identify as 100% straight, and multiple who have come out as bi or pan, so how come skam has none?

what did you think of season 4?

the general consensus is that it was rushed and messy, that wilhelm ruined it, and that sana was sidelined in her own season. there were a few people who said they liked it, and some pros that were written were that iman was wonderful, the balloon squad was great, the los losers scene, and that they liked yousana. here are a few great ones:

horribly written, with subtle racism and islamophobia to boot. sana deserved so much better. also, bringing back william and p-chris was so unnecessary. they were making progress with noora realizing that william never loved her and was an abuser, and then it's like they backtracked on all of that just for...what purpose? completely unnecessary. noora, vilde, and eva don't need any men in their lives, and any tying of loose ends of their stories in season 4 should have been about that.

pandering to women who fetishize evak/queer male relationships!!! also some major other bullshit!!! (why is william back wtf, why is p chris still around, why tf are evak living together theyre children, vilde needed season 6 to #come #out though so im not too mad)

I think it suffered from weak writing more than anything else. The story totally stalled out at the hiatus and Julie seemed to be unable to get it going again and then found herself without enough time to tell the whole story. She is saved as usual by the strength of her characters-- I think she's great at character building but very over-rated as a storyteller.

(this one is really long but i thought it was eloquent and great)

HAHAHAHA where to start. It’s almost my least favorite season, nearly tied with S2, though my burning hatred of William edges out. But I will say that from a writing perspective, as much as I despise Noorhelm, their relationship kept S2 anchored and prevented the season from losing focus too often. I do think S2 was messier and more bloated than S1 and S3, but it still feels like a more cohesive narrative than S4, which was so sloppy that I can’t believe the same person wrote something as tight as S3. The criticisms seem almost endless and I’ll probably forget something but here are a few off the top of my head: -TERRIBLE SEASON FOR GIRL SQUAD. This is what really surprised me about S4. It was the last chance to enjoy them as a friendship unit and most of the season they were unbearable. I’m not saying they had to have a perfect friendship, I was expecting some conflict and I was fine with that but it was almost all unpleasant moments with no good moments to balance them out. Sana having to apologize for everything but the rest of the girls never apologizing for their ignorance or hurtfulness. Eva and Chris doing nothing but partying most of the time. Vilde being an annoying caricature. Noora … I’ll get to Noora. The los losers clip is a good moment in itself but doesn’t make sense in the larger context, there are several plot holes, and we never ever hear the girls talk about their issues afterwards. -Noora was overused at the expense of the other girls, including Sana, and I couldn’t even enjoy her and Sana’s relationship because I felt like it wasn’t there to explore their friendship, but to give an excuse for Noorhelm to rise again and to get Noora involved in the stupid Sana/Yousef/Noora triangle. I loved Noora but it felt like all the other girls were unfavorably compared to her, like of course Noora got to be Sana’s ally and Vilde/Chris/Eva were just off being drunk and terrible somewhere. It got ridiculous in episode 9 when we started getting texts about Noora’s living situation, of course it’s Noora who Sana’s mom thinks is beautiful with her red lipstick, of course it was Noora who gets to give Sana detailed advice in Maghrib and the other girls have less to contribute. There were a few moments with Chris, maybe. But we got better material from Vilde, Chris, and Eva in the last episode than we’d gotten all season. -Sana taking a backseat to Noorhelm drama at the climax of her own season, enough said. -Even’s plotline being dropped … after what was widely considered a respectful portrayal of mental illness in S3, Julie hugely messed up with Even in S4. Yeah, it was Sana’s season, but maybe don’t introduce a character’s suicide attempt if you’re not going to address it properly? The utter shittiness of having a mentally ill character who says he’s tired of people trying to tell him how he feels, and never letting him give his own side of the story, only hearing it from other people. -A fight that makes no sense, a love triangle that makes no sense, characters not talking to each other just to prolong the drama, characters acting OOC, characters acting like the worst versions of themselves.   -Bad pacing, subplots being juggled and dropped and picked up and abandoned at whim, so much filler and wasted time. I've seen people say Sana was out of focus because Julie had to wrap up loose ends but like, she didn't? She spent time on bullshit no one cared about and ignored actual dangling plot threads. Why are we spending so much time on racist Pepsi Max girls and what's up with Noora and Yousef or Noora and William when we could be addressing Vilde's mysterious home life, giving Chris depth other than funny fat girl, getting into this Even sad backstory that Julie chose to introduce in Sana's season, exploring why Elias got so drunk he could barely stand... the list goes on? Not to mention, you know, focusing on SANA. I’m going to stop now because I’ll be here all day, lol. The thing is, as messed-up as this season is, I’d still rather have this than nothing, sadly, because Iman is wonderful and I enjoyed seeing her show off her acting chops. I wish she could have had a better season but I’m happy such an awesome human being got to be so visible; even if the season was disappointing, Iman being in the public eye meant a lot to Muslim girls around the world. And I’ll always be thankful to Julie for Evak, because their relationship was one aspect of canon that was consistently well-handled. Their story resonated with me and meant a lot to me. I just wish everything else in the show was treated with as much care as the Evak romance, and that S4 was as carefully and thoughtfully written as S3.

CONCLUSION: wlw skam fans were disappointed in the lack of representation, as well as the last season of the show. evak was great, but it would have meant the world to many of us to make one of the female characters not straight, especially after all of the queerbaiting. the VAST majority of people think that vilde was a lesbian, which is very telling. also wlw love sana and hate wilhelm.

bonus: some of my favorite nicknames for william: willdevil, willdick, woldemort, willhellfuck, willfickle, willhellanusfuckingdickface, also @cosa-fea who called him a “sinewy man toe”

thank you all SO MUCH for taking the survey and for giving such wonderful answers. i’m glad we can all agree on some things, like william being terrible and vilde being a lesbian.

[when-dust-is-gone-blog]

Guys i want to cry I'm so fucking overwhelmed in a good, happy way!! I have been a whirlwind of emotions and questions and realisations and I feel like I'm really starting to figure things out and become myself and it all started from a video i saw on facebook about nonbinary genders and i decided to track down the maker of this video to try and find more content and instantly just fell in love and related to this person and their journey so much and it made me question everything i knew about myself. and this person has since reached out to me and offered to chat with me about my gender stuff and it's like YOU ARE MY IDOL YOU ARE THE REASON I'M EVEN THINKING ABOUT THIS I OWE YOU MY LIFE AND NOW YOU WANT TO HELP ME EVEN MORE??? So I'm just so blessed and i believe i have been sent an angel from queer heaven to take me on this journey.

Anyway while im out here having a million realisations a day I figure maybe i should start tracking and recording my thoughts and feelings and "aha!" moments. So here are some things:

- it turns out my lifelong attraction to and fascination with gnc people, particularly androgynous and masc presenting gnc (david bowie, la roux, gay and trans men) is not a sexual preference but my soul crying out to be like them. ofc im drawn to and attracted to them duh that's so obvious now. I spent so long a) wondering if there was something wrong with me preferences and then b) wondering if i was like...fetishising trans and gnc people but no actually in the same way i spent ages being drawn to and interested in gay culture as an "ally" turns out i was just responding to the call of my people

- one of my main worries in all this was my experience of dysphoria and how it doesn't match the traditional narrative ive known theough popular content and trans/nb friends. i have never hated nor wanted to reject my femininity, my womanhood, or my female body. but i had never let myself explore any other option or way of presenting. I fantasised about it a lot, and often would dream of or about of being a man. and it never even occurred to me to try dressing masc or binding and im wondering now how much of my love for "girly" stuff was actually just patriarchy instilling it into me. like yea i still like makeup and dresses and look great in them but god it felt so fucking good to just wear a button up and binder and thick eyebrows today!! I got so many compliments! I couldn't stop taking selfies! I kept stopping to stare at myself in reflective surfaces!! I dont remember EVER feeling that way about myself

- i spent a lot of my early teens wondering if i was ace because i had no desire to explore my own sexuality, and obvs part of that was being GAY AF but also I never really explored my body and i wasn't comfortable doing so. nowadays i am and i dont feel dysphoric in that respect but in terms of letting OTHERS touch my body that's a whole other story and i always put it down to just regular old anxiety or body insecurity but i realise now it was dysphoria and i didn't even know it, i just knew SOMETHING felt wrong.

- i actually have a very distinct memory of beinh like really really young, maybe 4 or 5, and wanting to pee standing up and thinking that because i was pretty good at it that made me a boy, i also very distinctly remember finding my clit and not knowing what it was and thinking it either was or was going to grow into a penis - and i was cool with that.

- ive always related very strongly to trans and nb issues and i always just put it down to being humanitarian and having good queer influences growing up and then later being part of the queer community but im rly starting to see why i related so strongly

- i also rly distinctly remember my mum calling me into the lounge when i was like 12 because there was a 60minutes special avout trans kids and even though i never related it to myself at the time i was SO CAPTIVATED and it really stuck with me

- in the same way I ID'd as bisexual for a long time due to comphet, I'm wondering how much of my identity as a woman has been forced upon me. The further i let myself fall into trans and nb stuff the further i feel from womanhood and i thought i would be sad about it but it's almost a relief?? Like i was pretending without even knowing i was.