#( ft. jess turner. )

[buriedwithit]

he watches, in awe, as jess presents her magic pencil and proceeds to draw in the exact precautions they would need. and the people around don't even start to look concerned about it! he knows well that the same luck is not often afforded to him—he (literally) repels people only so long as he's concentrated or feeling poorly. neither are particularly likely for someone like him. especially not come time to murder! that's always the best part of any misadventure. "that's brilliant," he praises, grinning ear to ear. "i appreciate the effort, i really do. can't be to careful, eh? my mum always taught me that." and dad had always thrown an explosive tantrum whenever he failed. all in all, the lesson does occasionally manage to sink in. "you've got pick of the litter, mate. we can even take turns, if you're keen. you get one, i get one, so on... until they run out, or someone else comes on in to ruin the fun. what do you say? we could make a game of it."

As much as Jess would love to assume they had plot armor to protect them, there were a lot of times she'd assumed that and had been proven terribly wrong! Ya gotta learn the hard way that the creators really don't care, don't ya? That they'd rather you get screwed over? Sure, sure, she knew she was still being controlled into setting up some precautions for Ezra and herself, but... hey, it was still a good idea! "I got an idea." Now, who would Jess be if she did not put her Bag of Fun to good use at any given moment? She withdrew it ( or... allowed it to manifest from thin air? ) and pulled out a comically large pencil, about half the size of Ezra. Lugging the thing to the first door and, man, just really wondering why she hadn't waited until she was actually at the door to take it out, she lifted it like a damn weight ( she could bench 220! ) and, as best as she could, drew chains and a padlock on it. For as sloppy as the drawing was ( sue her, it was hard to draw well with a 3.5ft pencil! ), the world just knew what she wanted it to be, actual chains with a padlock manifesting into existence (thanks, Megan Fox!). Phew. Oh, but she wasn't done yet! No, no -- maybe she should've stopped by Ezra, seen if he could do anything himself, but she was inexplicably determined! It was gonna be the first time she killed anyone in 10+ years -- and, at that, the first time she killed anyone who no one else cared about ! yippee ! -- so she really had to put the effort in! To just fast forward through essentially writing the exact same thing -- lugging the pencil, drawing sloppy precautions, said sloppy precautions turning into the real thing, all that jazz -- the precautions were in place! Finally dropping the pencil ( and the pencil proceeding to disappear from existence ), she returned to Ezra and clapped her hands together. In between breaths, she nodded, "Ya think we got enough precautions now?"

[viir-tanadhal]

Pet Shop Boys' song picks for various radio interviews for Nonetheless

BBC Radio 2 with Jo Whiley (April 25, 2024)

Chris

Black Beauty theme (childhood song)

Bedsitter by Soft Cell

Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now by McFadden & Whitehead (death song)

Neil

The Young Ones by Cliff Richard and the Shadows (childhood song)

Bedsitter by Soft Cell

Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis by Ralph Vaughan Williams (death song)

BBC Radio 6 with Lauren Laverne (April 26, 2024)

Chris

Was That All It Was by Jean Carn

This Time Baby by Jackie Moore

Native New Yorker by Odyssey

Last Night A DJ Saved My Life by InDeep

Neil

Borderline by Madonna

I Want You by Marvin Gaye

Born Slippy by Underworld

Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin

Greatest Hits Radio with Jackie Brambles (April 28, 2024)

Chris

Baby Love by The Supremes

For Once in My Life by Glen Campbell

Rhythm is a Dancer by Snap!

Neil

Girl Don't Come by Sandie Shaw

Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin

Unfinished Sympathy by Massive Attack

BBC Radio 3 with Jess Gillam (June 8, 2024)

Neil

Ich Habe Genung (Cantata No 82) by J.S. Bach

Générique by Miles Davis

Symphonia Virginum: O Dulcissime Amator by Hildegard von Bingen

September Song by Kurt Weill; sung by Lotte Lenya

Tracks of My Years with Vernon Kay (June 9, 2024)

Chris

Stop! In the Name of Love by The Supremes

Fame by Irene Cara

Never Give You Up by Sharon Redd

Let Me Love You For Tonight by Kariya

A Love So Beautiful by Roy Orbison

Neil

I Am The Walrus by The Beatles

Papa Was A Rollin' Stone by The Temptations

Do Anything You Wanna Do by Eddie and the Hot Rods

This Is Not America by David Bowie

Unfinished Sympathy by Massive Attack

Artists in Residence - Queer (Nov. 11, 2024)

Homosexuality by Modern Rocketry

Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat

Walk On The Wild Side by Lou Reed

I Was Born This Way by Carl Bean

Dizzy by Olly Alexander

Shoot Your Shot by Divine

Menergy by Patrick Cowley

Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springsteen

Never Give You Up by Sharon Redd

Hideous by Oliver Sim (ft. Jimmy Somerville)

In the Evening by Sheryl Lee Ralph

If Love Were All by Judy Garland

Artists in Residence - Producers (Nov. 12, 2024)

I'm So Hot For You by Bobby O

Hey DJ by Worlds Famous Supreme Team (Stephen Hague)

Slave To The Rhythm by Grace Jones (Trevor Horn)

I Like You (Shep Pettibone Mix) by Phyllis Nelson (Shep Pettibone)

Point of No Return by Exposé (Lewis Martineé)

Axel F by Harold Faltermeyer

Hold That Sucker Down - Builds Like a Skyscraper Mix by OT Quartet (Rollo)

Balcony Scene from Romeo + Juliet by Craig Armstrong

So Hard - D Morales Red Zone Mix by Pet Shop Boys (David Morales)

The Loving Kind by Girls Aloud (Xenomania)

Say You Will by Kanye West (Andrew Dawson)

It's Automatic by Zoot Woman (Stuart Price)

The Meeting Place by The Last Shadow Puppets (James Ford)

Artists in Residence - Miserablism (Nov. 13, 2024)

Has Anyone Ever Written Anything For You by Stevie Nicks

One Day I'll Fly Away by Randy Crawford

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths

Baltimore by Nina Simone

Alfie by Cilla Black

Everybody's Got To Learn Sometime by The Korgis

Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinéad O'Connor

Parlez-moi de Lui by Françoise Hardy

By The Time I Get To Phoenix by Glen Campbell

Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology) by Marvin Gaye

I Don't Want To Hear It Anymore by Dusty Springfield

I'm Not In Love by 10cc

Let's Stay Together by Tina Turner

I Can't Give Everything Away by David Bowie

Artists in Residence - Remixes (Nov. 14, 2024)

Girls & Boys (Pet Shop Boys Remix) by Blur

Young Offender - Jam and Spoon Trip-O-Matic Fairytale Mix by Pet Shop Boys

Hallo Spaceboy (Pet Shop Boys Remix) by David Bowie

Flamboyant (Michael Mayer Kompakt Mix) by Pet Shop Boys

Insanely Alive (Pet Shop Boys Radio Edit) by Wolfgang Tillmans

Miserablism (Moby Electro Mix) by Pet Shop Boys

Queen of Ice (Pet Shop Boys 7" Mix) by Claptone

I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Anymore (Peter Rauhoffer's Roxy Anthem Mix) by Pet Shop Boys

Think Of A Number (Pet Shop Boys Magic Eye 12" Remix) by Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds

Can You Forgive Her? (M.K. Remix) by Pet Shop Boys

Love Comes Quickly (Shep Pettibone Mastermix) by Pet Shop Boys

Dancing Star (Solomun Remix) by Pet Shop Boys

A Red Letter Day (Trouser Enthusiasts Autoerotic Decapitation Mix) by Pet Shop Boys

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Saturday May 18th

GILES: Would someone please rip that bloody bell off its hinges? XANDER: Would that involve moving? WILLOW: My feet are numb. XANDER: I'll see your numbness and I'll raise you a lower back pain.

~~No Place Like Home~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

See You Yesterday by all_choseny (Buffy/Spike, R)

violence and denial by teenageapocalypsetrilogy (Buffy/Spike, E)

[Texts between Willow and Buffy] by scooby-group-texts

F*cked by Holly (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Sunnydale Serenade, Chapter 16 by TheRealJeanGenie (Buffy/Spike, T)

Bloody Hell: A Hellmouthian Dissertation, Chapter 9 by HuonParticlesAreHarmless (Buffy/Giles, M)

Keep You Ghosted, Chapter 8 by hydranjenna (Buffy/Spike, M)

I Don't Want to Be the One, Chapter 13 by pommedapi (Buffy/Spike, T)

A Different Path, Chapter 12 by Anaxilea (Buffy/Faith, M)

Breaking the Code, Chapter 4 by Buffyworldbuilder (Ensemble, Star Wars crossover, G)

In the Company of Witches and Slayers: Chapter 39 by VladimirHarkonnen (TheLightdancer) (Willow/Tara, E)

In the Dark of the Night, Chapter 10 by norik23 (Buffy/Spike, M)

I hate the way, Chapter 11 by DancingAngel0013 (Buffy/Giles, E)

Greatest Love Story - Prelude, Chapter 3 by FalseGinger (Angel/Spike, M)

Quantum Entanglement, Chapter 1 by Senneres (Spike, Harry Potter crossover, E)

Dawn Before the Sun: The Doomsman’s Daughter, Chapter 1 by Luna_delCielo (Dawn, Tolkien crossover, T)

No Matter What, Chapter 1 by Xyex (Buffy/Willow, M)

Rewind (Pt 4) by Enigmatist (Spike, not rated)

Stab in the back, Chapter 22 by MelG_2005 (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only)

Surviving Together, Chapter 20 by ionlylikebadboys (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only)

Early One Morning, Chapter 44 by all choseny (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Meow, Chapter 8 by CheekyKitten (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Afterburn: In The Dark, Chapter 10 by Melme1325 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

A Ripple In Time, Chapter 33 by CheekyKitten (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Secret Obsession, Chapter 25 by Maxine Eden (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Exquisite Chaos: Part 1, Chapter 4 by yellowb, JayeMaru, bewildered, DeamonQueen, ClowniestLivEver, VoronaFiernan (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Lightning in a Bottle, Chapters 13-14 by violettathepiratequeen (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Dawn Before the Sun: The Doomsman’s Daughter, Chapter 1 by Luna (Dawn, Tolkien crossover, FR15)

Love Lives Here, Chapter 64 by Passion4Spike (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

The Kitten That Killed Slayers, Chapter 12 by Desicat (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

When the World Went Cold, You Were Brighter than Gold, Chapter 4 by Harlow Turner (Buffy/Spike, R)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Fanvid: Buffy + Spike -Stripped by all_choseny

Manips: Buffy the Last Slayer by all_choseny (worksafe)

Manip: Hustler by honeygirl51885 (Buffy and Spike, worksafe)

Manips: Buffy and Spike in bath by All Choseny (worksafe)

Cartoon: “Did you run into any trouble on the Enterprise yesterday?” by Paul Gadzikowski's The Hero of Three Faces (worksafe)

Puzzle: A Very Buffy (Connections) Puzzle by nicodemusfleur

Fanvid: Buffyverse | Difussion by Jess Wilson

Fanvid: buffy summers | who's afraid of little old me? by Moon Edits

Fanvid: willow rosenberg | who's afraid of little old me? [preview] by ImagineDragonlords

Fanvid: BTVS | Thrift Shop by xxLowkeyTrashxx

Music: Buffy The Vampire Slayer Rescore: Season 1 Episode 12 "Prophecy Girl" by David Müller

[Reviews & Recaps]

BTVS/Angel Rewatch Chronicles: Seasons 6/3, Part Three by QualifiedApathetic

Rewatcher's diary: Season 2, episodes 15 to 18 by jonaskoelker

video: Angel vs Spike: Who's the love story Buffy deserved? by Ryan B Talks TV

Video: The Body: An Outstanding Episode of Television by Darth Nerdus

Video: Buffy Season 6 Review! Spoilers! by SundayScariesReview

Video: No "apology" needed for Buffy Season 1! And Buffy's place in the era of "Prestige TV" by Ronald Off the Record

Video: Buffy Review - 5x14 Crush by Reverse Angle

Video: Hells Bells-Slayer Sunday by Jane Talks Buffy

Video: Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 2 REVIEW | Ft. @Sisnerdly by George Alexander

Podcast: Slaying the Charts: The Musical Legacy of Buffy the Vampire Slayer by A Girl, A Guy and A Buffy Podcast

[Fandom Discussions]

There's actually so many missed opportunities with Fred and Gunn by AmmoniteFlesh

Spike said Dracula owes him 11 quid by Aphony Cree

One of Buffy’s nightmares in season one was being buried alive by reality-schmality

One of the things I disliked most about canonical Spuffy was how much they wound up hurting each other BECAUSE OF HOW STATIC THE CHARACTERS FELT by deadthingu

Buffy and Spike in Smashed by Joan the Vampire Slayer

Buffy and Willow by Joan the Vampire Slayer

What If: Buffy had joined the Cordettes instead? by nightshade

Was Angel a good father? continued by Stoney

Who did Buffy hate? by The Whirlwind

Do you think Spike deserves to be seen as heroic for not giving up Dawn? continued by multiple posters

Who did Spike hate? by The Whirlwind

Would you watch this show [the "Cordy" sitcom] if it were on? by AndrewHeard

How would Buffy had reacted to Wesley's decision in [AtS] season 3? by jdpm1991

What if Jonathan was the one who was redeemed in season 7 instead of Andrew? by george123890yang

Behind the Scenes BANGEL ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 by figinmyteeth

Was Riley looking to get turned? by Tuxedo_Mark

My top 30 Buffy episodes by fabe1haft

Question for Buffy Hard Cover books by nodakskip

[13/22] What's your favorite episode 13 across all seasons? by jonaskoelker

If you could erase one character from the show, who would it be? by VegasGirlAlex

What Faith lines or scenes did you find a bit cringy? by foreseethefuture

The Real S6 Big Bad by Glum-Substance-3507

Does anyone else thing that Nathan Fillion as Caleb in the Buffy was his best role? by BigDongForever

The opening credits power pose by Reviewingremy

do you prefer the earlier vengeance demon version from s3 or the one from s6-7? by melaniemoth13

Is it just me or does Angel appear kinda... different "Angel" than on Btvs? by BoredYogiOnHere

"You're a creature of the darkness, just like me" by sushibananawater

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

Video: Bonus Episode - We Interviewed a Buffy Background Actor! by The Sunnydale Diaries - A Buffy Podcast

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Join the editor team :)

[lupaeusarc]

𝗘𝗠𝗠𝗔 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗜𝗡 𝗖𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗟 : 24 / ∞ emma's lockscreen ft jesse turner ( @antiturner )

— 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘮𝘢��� 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 / 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 —

[buriedwithit]

"ignoring the party? that's the whole problem—there is no party. anyone can get some booze together." max is just one of those people that finds no appreciation in the human spirit—boo hoo, no moon. that happened once a month anyway! and as entertaining as some of the fighting had been, that's not something sol city is in short supply of, either. it's all just more of the same old thing. tail swishing, he huffs, "i mean, what do you think a party is? a lot of people standing around looking at the sky? not really my idea of a good time."

As a Fun Lord™, Jess could certainly help the fella out -- he'd definitely come to the right person! The only problem, you see, was that she did not know what he found fun. Sure, she could just literally force him to, but, in the reality he and most others saw, that would probably be considered going against his consent -- ya know, just... literally forcing him to, and all. "Well, whaddya find fun? Ya know, just ignoring the party entirely, what are some fun things t' ya?"

[jcnuaries-archived]

@surejess​—

“I’m happy that you showed, and that you didn’t bash Reginald’s head in. I have to talk to you about something... very important.”

[gcldenrule-archived]

@surejess​​—

Chaos. Pure, unadulterated chaos runs through the streets, and Will is more mutant than man at this point, patching people up and ushering them to safe spaces away from the riot. Funny enough, he almost sleeps next to a dumpster from all the exhaustion; though he squints at a familiar ashen face, that he swears is grinning even after all the madness around them.

“You safe? You need a cut healed? Bruise? Anything broken?” He replies, in a chipper, yet strained tone as he stands up, respectably. As if he wasn’t moments from taking the best Dad Power Nap™ this side of the East Coast.

[umbrabiilis]

location: frost bite  participants: morgan yamaguchi & jess turner ( @surejess​ )

morgan exited the store with a rare smile on his face as he absent-mindedly licked the ice cream cone in his hand. it was rare for him to treat himself, let alone to something so indulgent but he’d been in need of a pick me up and nothing did the job quite like a chocolate cone with sprinkles. 

it seemed the universe had other plans for him - he’d barely made it ten feet before he collided with someone. stumbling back he looked up at the stranger, “i am so sorry!” he cried out, as he took a step backwards, “i really should’ve been paying attention to where-” he stopped his rambling abruptly, the second he got a good look at the woman in front of him. a clown. he had always been afraid of clowns. the startled yelp that escaped his lips as he quickly vanished, said as much. human one second, a ghost the next - the only sign he was still there was the ice cream cone in his hand. 

“here let me help you with that,” he managed to regain his composure enough to produce a corporeal form as he reached for a napkin. “i am so sorry!” he echoed. 

[willowswriting]

Harper knew that her family's money didn't come strictly from their owning of one of the most sought after ranches in the country. She didn't know the specifics of her families dealings and dark past however and she much preferred it that way, not that her father would divulge his business dealings with her anyways. Harper couldn't help the small chuckle that fell from her lips at the mans question "Don't go flattering yourself Caleb." She smiled as she scanned the fields, making her way towards the man who had been a stranger only a few months ago. "One of the calves got away when Theo was wrangling the herd this morning." She spoke. Her displeasure with her older brother clear in her voice. "Figured I'd give it a last ditch effort to try and find the little guy." She spoke, a hint of sadness tinging her voice.

Caleb wasn't wrong about this side of the ranch getting a little rough once the sun set and she knew that if that baby cow wasn't in the barn by night fall than he wouldn't make it through the night. "You haven't seen him have you?" She questioned, resting her arms against a post that the man had probably only hammered into the ground moments ago. She was sure that even if the calf had wondered by Caleb had probably been to busy to even notice it.

She couldn't help but rack her eyes over him for a moment. She wasn't sure what exactly it was about the man but he had had her full attention since the moment he stepped foot on the ranch. Maybe it was due to the fact that she knew little to nothing about him or his past, or perhaps it was the fact that he looked really damn good while shirtless helping fix things around the ranch... she cleared her throat, eyes meeting his once more "I'm sorry what was that?" She questioned, having completely zoned out for a moment.

open to: ladieeees connection: the notorious outlaw has faked his death and now goes by a new name (caleb dawson). for months, he’s been laying low, working as a ranch hand in a small, peaceful town. y/m, the daughter of the wealthy landowner who runs most of the town, has unknowingly caught his eye. unbeknownst to her, her father’s dark past ties into jesse’s own tragic story—her father’s involvement in the murder of jesse’s parents led him down his path of vengeance. now, jesse grapples with his growing affection for y/m while harboring a thirst for revenge m: jesse "black jack" turner ; 32 yrs old ; outlaw ; bio

jesse looks up from the fence post he's been working on, eyes narrowing as he sees her approaching across the golden fields.for a moment, his hands freeze on the hammer, the rhythm of his heart faltering just a bit. the shadows of his past flicker behind his eyes, but so does something warmer, softer—something he hasn’t allowed himself to feel in a long, long time. "damn it, girl… what're you doin' to me…" he muttered under his breath. he straightens up, wiping his hands on his jeans, putting on the mask of the quiet, brooding ranch hand—nothing more, nothing less. but he can’t deny how her presence seems to stir something deep inside, something he can’t quite bury. "miss, you shouldn't be out here alone. this part o' the ranch gets a little rough around sunset." he called out, his words calm, almost detached, but there’s a protective edge to them. his gaze softens ever so slightly as she approaches closer, and though he tries to maintain his distance, a part of him aches to just... talk to her like a regular man. but he ain’t regular. not anymore. not with what he’s done. not with what he knows. when she’s close enough, jesse tilts his head, giving her that slow, lopsided grin that he’s come to perfect. it’s a mask, sure, but it hides the storm raging beneath the surface. "you got somethin' on your mind, or are you just checkin' up on a poor ranch hand like myself?" he chuckles lightly, the sound low and smooth, but there’s an undercurrent of tension. how much longer can he keep this up? how much longer can he stand beside her, pretending he’s just a simple man? his mind races back to her father—the man who ripped everything from him. the man who destroyed his world. jesse clenches his fist behind his back, hiding the flicker of rage that threatens to surface every time he sees her smile, every time he feels the tug of guilt for what he’s planning.

[mcntalism-archived]

@surejess​—

"I—goddamn it, caught your set, Turner. Surprise you hadn’t made a crack about me yet.” She’s chasing Jess through rooftops, swinging from building to building. “Trying to steal shit that isn’t yours might be a bad topic for your next act, though.”

[saintjcmes]

@surejess​—

"Do you have any plans on how you’d spend the high holy days this year, darling?” Her manicure is right and the clack of her heels against the cold, concrete floor of Chicago sets herself a calming staccato. “Any shows? A night in? Or God forbid—are you working? I can clear the schedule for the holidays if you are.”

[ofruinations]

"What do you mean w—" He feels the mallet, oversized and painful if he weren't probably made of tungsten against the stop of his head, cut him off and bury him deeper into the concrete floors of the underground. It feels like whack-a-mole. but less enjoyable. Derek all but feels like he gets a little more stuck as she tries to make her point. "What the hell was that for?!" He tries to act indignant and angry, but the slight twinge of fear underpins his voice. Is she dangerous? He should probably leave if she is. "Could we at least exchange names before you try to smack me again?"

oh -- oh ! the meathead ( who wasn't punchable until he was ) just got interesting ! he turned into metal !? oh, now the last thing on her mind was explaining the politics of meatheadism through light violence ! see, this was fun, and was there anything funner than fun !? " wait... " just to test the waters, just to make sure it wasn't a fluke that would actually bring the meathead back to being boring, she offered another bonk.

[terrainofheartfelt]

Derena: The Early Years, A Playlist

Since I had a “derena sads” playlist, I thought it was only fair to make a “derena happies” one, so check it out for all the cutesy s1 romance vibes.

track list and annotations under the cut

Honeybody — Kishi Bashi with Nu Deco Ensemble We begin…with the CRUSHES On that day, we're together in a real way / Under pressure and safe it's so easy

Boyfriend — Walk the Moon Search my memory banks for what to do / I recall 80s movie scenes / Breakfast Club, Fast Times / And I still don't know what girls like

Daydreamer — Adele (I thought this was a perfect Serena pov beginning to notice & crush on Daniel song, and then I read the annotations that said Adele wrote this about a guy she had a crush on as a teenager who was bi and I thought “even more perfect.” Anyways…19 Supremacy!!!!!!) Daydreamer / With eyes that make you melt / He lends his coat for shelter / Plus he's there for you / When he shouldn't be / But he stays all the same / Waits for you / Then sees you through

Something — Beatles Something in the way she knows / And all I have to do is think of her / Something in the things she shows me

Dancing Queen — as performed by Frank Turner Frank turner cover bc Dan.  You are the dancing queen / Young and sweet, only seventeen

Jump Then Fall — tswift The “Serena Is a Smitten Kitten” song I like the way I can't keep my focus / I watch you talk, you didn't notice / I hear the words but all I can think is / We should be together

Diamonds on the Souls of Her Shoes — Paul Smith w/ Ladysmith Black Mambazo 1.05 Daredevil vibes She's a rich girl / She don't try to hide it / Diamonds on the soles of her shoes / He's a poor boy / Empty as a pocket / Empty as a pocket with nothing to lose

Perfect. — Bibi Bourelly w/ Earl St. Clair They really fit in a lot of will they/won’t they those first five eps huh. And it really came down to the thesis of this song.  You a little too perfect for me

I Saw Her Standing There — Beatles The next two: Masked Ball energy.  Well, she was just seventeen and you know what I mean / And the way she looked was way beyond compare

Only Wanna Dance With You — Kesha You got to me / You saw through me / You're in for it now

Rollercoaster — Bleachers Something something falling for the idea of a person and then that leads to falling for the reality of the person.  It was summer when I saw your face / Looked like a teenage runaway / Oh god, I never thought we'd take it that far / Some killer queen you are

Crazy for You — Adele They were both Down Bad ok Lately with this state I'm in, I can't help myself but spin / I wish you'd come over, send me spinning closer to you

Birthday Suit — Kesha That victor/victrola build up Well, baby, you get better and better / The more I get to know ya, get to know ya / It's impossible to get you outta my head / And I keep fighting and fighting the feeling / But I want ya, but I want ya, oh / I know I'm gonna love it, but we haven't even done it yet

the snack that smiles back — Shawn Wasabi ft. raychel jay It’s that uh…derena fic “Other Stuff” iykyk I'm gonna be the one you unwrap / Just take me out and break me in half

Closer — Tegan and Sara The energy of “I want you but this is different from how I’ve wanted anyone else before” and all that anxiety and excitement  All you think of lately is getting underneath me / All I dream of lately is how to get you underneath me

I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm — as performed by Ingrid Michaelson Never forget that they had the magical after school special christmas eve first time I can't remember a worst December / Just watch those icicles fall / What do I care if icicles fall

Grilled Cheese — Peach Face You got me sleeping in my makeup / Ruining your pillow cases

Gave Me Something — Jess Glyne I spent my weeks running wild / And now my days, they have changed

Adore You — Miley Cyrus School Lies/Thin Line 1x12/1x13 vibes When you say you love me / Know I love you more / And when you say you need me / Know I need you more

I Believe — Jonas Brothers It’s the I Love You plot! 'Cause I'm here to stay through the good and the bad times / Baby, save me a space in your mind

Love song — Lana Del Rey I believe that you see me for who I am…Oh, be my once in a lifetime

And I Love Her — Passenger The Daniel Humphrey energy is SO strong with this one.  She's as new as the springtime / Strong as autumn blows / Warm as the summer / And soft as the snow / She's a thousand miles from here / But she's everywhere I go

Come Away With Me — Norah Jones Idk why, but I feel like this is one these dorks would classify as “their” song.  And I want to wake up with the rain / Falling on a tin roof / While I'm safe there in your arms

Oh My Love — The Score End credits happy love song vibes We'll shape this world like it was meant to be / Made of clay for only you and me / Awake with you is better than a dream

[cardest]

Tennessee playlist

I’m going to Memphis! This is the mighty Tennessee - Memphis & Nashville playlist. You can’t tell the story of rock n roll without mentioning Memphis. Mississippi and Nashville, such a great history of music in this region. Chuck D hits things off with the ultimate introduction. Hit play here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1_X9nesbW37-9FNLiJWOQ1f

This playlist has it all. Soul, blues and rock n roll. We take a journey back to the beginning of country as well, with Nashville and finish up at Dollywood. Hope you dig it.

Tennessee - Mississippi - Arkansas

001 Henry Rollins & Chuck D - Rise Above 002 Clutch -  Devil & Me 003 Paul Simon - Graceland 004 Isaac Hayes - Memphis Trax 005 Scott Walker - Thats How I Got to Memphis 006 AC/DC - let there be rock 007 Johnny Cash -  Country Boy 008 Chuck Berry -  Back To Memphis 009 Jay Reatard - Gree, Money, Useless Children 010 Lukah - Black Dragon 011 King Curtis - Memphis Soul Stew 012 Rosetta Howard & the Harlem Hamfats - Delta Bound 013 Nots - In Glass 014 Pere Ubu - Memphis 015 Loretta Lynn - The Pill 016 Howlin Wolf - Smokestack Lightnin 017 Rory Gallagher - The Mississippi Sheiks 018 Crime and the City Solution - Streets Of West Memphis 019 River City Tanlines - Met You Before 020 Johnny Cash - Going To Memphis 021 Al Green - Get Back Baby 022 Kim Salmon & The Surrealists - The Zipper 023 Booker T & the MG - Melting Pot 024 Pussycat - Mississippi 025 Boswell Sisters - Roll On, Mississippi, Roll On 026 Aretha Franklin   - Muddy Water 027 The Cramps - Garbageman 028 HASH REDACTOR - Good Sense 029 Optic Sink - Personified 030 Angry Angles - Blockhead 031 Big Star - Thirteen 032 Memphis Jug Band -  Going Back to Memphis 033 North Mississippi AllStars - K.C. Jones (On The Road Again) 034 Bass Drum Of Death -  Bad Reputation 035 Today Is the Day -  The Devil's Blood 036 Walk the Line Soundtrack- Get Rhythm 037 Jack White -  Temporary Ground 038 Jerry Lee Lewis - A Damn Good Country Song 039 The Homemade Jamz Blues Band - Rumors 040 Saving Abel - Pine Mountain (The Dance of the Poor Proud Man) 041 The Oxford Circle - Foolish Woman 042 Bobbie Gentry - Greyhound Goin' Somewhere 043 Reigning Sound - A Little More Time 044 NINA SIMONE - MISSISSIPPI GODDAM! 045 Laurie Anderson - Hiawatha 046 Glen Campbell - Burning Bridges 047 Dolly Parton - Hillbilly Willy 048 Elvis Presley - Guitar Man 049 Blue Oyster Cult - Divine Wind 050 Sammy Hagar - Halfway To Memphis 051 Izzy Stradlin   - Memphis                       052 Johnny Cash -  Run Softly, Blue River 053 Iron Horse - Unchained 054 The Cramps - Human Fly 055 Faces - Memphis 056 Jack Oblivian - Rat City 057 The Cooters - Bustin' Loose 058 Mott the Hoople - All The Way From Memphis 059 Dusty Springfield -  Breakfast in Bed 060 Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Tupelo 061 Chicago - Blues In The Night             062 Crossin Dixon - Guitar Slinger 063 Strummin' With The Devil - And the Cradle Will Rock 064 Stray Cats -  Can't Go Back to Memphis 065 Elvis Presley - Suspicious Minds 066 Suzi Quatro - Can't Trust Love 067 Lost Sounds - There's Nothing   068 Ike & Tina Turner ~ River Deep, Mountain High 069 Neil Diamond - Memphis Flyer 070 Julien Baker - hardline 071 The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - Memphis Soul Typecast 072 Isaac Hayes  - Groove-A-Thon 073 Otis Clay - Trying To Live My Life Without You 074 Tim McGraw - Don't Mention Memphis 075 Eric Burdon & War - Blues For Memphis Slim 076 Homemade Jamz Blues Band - Blues Train 077 Sweet Knives - I DON'T WANNA DIE 078 Cream - Four Until Late 079 Grateful Dead - Golden Road 080 Huey Lewis and the  NEWS - Function At The Junction 081 The Cramps - I Was A Teenage Werewolf 082 Jesse Winchester_ The Brand New Tennessee Waltz 083 Dorsey Burnette - Tall Oak Tree 084 Field Music - Time In Joy 085 Jay Reatard -  Blood Visions 086 The Rolling Stones - Honky Tonk Women 087 Quintron & Miss Pussycat  - Block the comet 088 Al Green - Let's Stay Together 089 The Mountain Goats - Getting Into Knives 090 Johnny Cash -  Tennessee Flat Top Box 091 Robert Pete Williams & Robert “Guitar" J. Welch - Mississippi Heavy Water Blues 092 MARY JAMES - MAKE THE DEVIL LEAVE ME ALONE 093 Ministry - Mississippi Queen 094 U.S. Bombs - Rocks in Memphis 095 Nazareth - Jet Lag 096 The Bar-Kays - Holy Ghost 097 Ty Segall - Despoiler Of Cadaver 098 His Hero Is Gone - Like Weeds 099 Jerry Lee Lewis - Memphis Beat 100 Generation X =  King Rocker 101 The Doobie Brothers - Wild Ride 102 Bad Company - Whiskey Bottle 103 Black Stone Cherry - When The Weight Comes Down 104 Buddy Miles - Memphis Train 105 Memphis Slim - Rockin' The House (Beer Drinkin' Woman) 106 David Clayton Thomas  - Wish The World Would Come to Memphis 107 Lost Sounds - Better Than Somethings 108 Alice Cooper - Ubangi Stomp 109 Tom Waits -  Don't Go Into The Barn 110 Hank Snow - Music Makin' Mama From Memphis 111 Phil Ochs - Heres to the State of Misssippi 112 Reigning Sound  - Your Love Is A Fine Thing 113 Pixies -  Letter to Memphis 114 Bob Dylan - Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again 115 The Colorblind James Experience - Considering A Move To Memphis 116 B.B.King - Rock Me Baby 117 Carla Thomas - B-A-B-Y 118 Aquarian Blood - A Love That Leads To War 119 Nights Like These - Scavenger's Daughter 120 Rufus Thomas - Walking the Dog 121 Clutch -  The House That Peterbilt 122 Lyal Strickland - O Arkansas 123 Don Bryant - How Do I Get There 124 The Sensational Barnes Brothers - Trying To Go Home 125 Squirrel Nut Zippers - Memphis Exorcism 126 Faster Pussycat - Tattoo 127 The Rolling Stones - Memphis Tennessee 128 Alcatrazz -  Sons And Lovers 129 Evil Army - Violence And War 130 Deep Purple - Somebody Stole My Guitar (Purpendicular 11) 131 Dwight Yoakam - Guitars, Cadillacs 132 UFO - Natural Thing 133 Thunderbridge Bluegrass Boys - Tennessee 134 Confederate Railroad - Queen of Memphis 135 The Box Tops - The Letter 136 Jerry Lee Lewis - Night Train To Memphis 137 Reverend John Wilkins - Trouble 138 Phil Lynott - Kings Call (feat. Mark Knopfler) 139 Old Crow Medicine Show - Motel in Memphis 140 Candy Lee- Here in Arkansas 141 Pharoah Sanders - You've Got To Have Freedom 142 Molly Hatchet - Mississippi Moon Dog 143 Rwake - Crooked Rivers 144 CARL PERKINS & PAUL SIMON - A Mile Out Of Memphis 145 Eddie Floyd - Knock On Wood 146 Al Green - Talk to me 147 Mush - Eat the Etiquette 148 PJ Harvey - Memphis 149 EX-CULT  - Clinical Study 150 Isaac Hayes  - Mans Temptation 151 Lil’ Jon & Eastside Boyz - Rep Yo City 152 Rufus Wainwright - Memphis Skyline 153 Stray Cats - 18 Miles to Memphis 154 Amasa Hines - Earth and Sky 155 Joe Henderson -  Back Road 156 Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash - Memphis Woman 157 Norma Jean - Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste 158 Fess Parker - Ballad of Davy Crockett 159 Assjack -  Redneck Ride 160 Brother Andy & His Big Damn Mouth - Social Lube 161 The Replacements - Alex Chilton 162 Ann Peebles - The handwriting is on the wall 163 The Highwaymen -  Big River 164 The Cult - Memphis Hip Shake 165 STEVE EARLE -  Hillbilly Highway 166 The BO-KEYS featuring OTIS CLAY -Got To Get Back 167 Rush - Tom Sawyer 168 Class Of '55: Memphis Rock & Roll Homecoming - Birth Of Rock And Roll 169 Hank Williams Jr - Memphis Belle 170 Sam Moore & Dave Prater - Soul Man 171 Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Bloc Bloc Bloc 172 Kenny Rogers & The First Edition  - Just Dropped In 173 Linda Heck - pictures of dead people 174 Carla Thomas - Sugar 175 Three Mafia 6 - Mystic Stylez 176 Osborne Brothers- Rocky Top 177 The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song 178 Wilson Pickett - Barefootin' 179 Dolly Parton - Jolene 180 Charlie Daniels - long haired country boy 181 The Civil Wars - From This Valley 182 Jill Jack - Gettin' On In Memphis (The Elvis Song) 183 Huckleberry Finn and His Friends - Opening title 184 Dead Cross -  Skin of a Redneck 185 Johnny Cash - I Never Picked Cotton 186 Old Crow Medicine Show -  Wagon Wheel 187 Isaac Hayes  - That love feeling 188 Aretha Franklin - I say a little prayer 189 Little Milton - What Do You Do When You Love Somebody 190 Howlin' Wolf - Spoonful 191 Weird Al" Yankovic - Money For Nothing / Beverly Hillbillies 192 The Oblivians - I'll Be Gone 193 OT Sykes - Stone crush on you 194 The Mad Lads  - Come closer to me 195 The Box Tops - Choo Choo train 196 Bobby Blue Bland - dreamer 197 Wanda Jackson - Rip It Up 198 Junior Parker - Love Ain't Nothin' but a Business Goin' On 199 The Nightingales ft. Tommy Tate - Just a Little Overcome 200  The Louvin Brothers - Satan is real 201 Overture "Big River" - (1985 Original Broadway Cast) 202 Ike & Tina Turner - Shake 203 Playa Fly - fly shit 204 Adia Victoria - Different Kind Of Love 205 Grateful Dead - Tennessee Jed 206 Red Hot Chili Peppers - Backwoods 207 Otis Redding - Tennessee Waltz 208 Nashville Pussy - The Late Great USA 209 The Paperhead - The true poet 210 Tomahawk - South Paw 211 Night Beats - Her Cold Cold Heart 212 Forest of Tygers - human monster 213 LOSS - All Grows on Tears 214 Charlie McCoy - Wayfaring Stranger 215 Dick Stusso - Modern Music 216 Eddie Noack - Aint the Reaping Ever Done 217 Jason & the Scorchers - Greetings From Nashville   218 Jasmin Kaset and Quichenight - A Single Right Word 219  Gospel Keynotes - Give Me My Flowers 220   WEEN - Scrape the Mucus off My Brain 221 Shannon Shaw - Broke My Own 222 The Jesus Lizard - Blue Shot 223 Eddy Arnold    - Tennessee Stud 224 Clutch - Pure Rock Fury 225 Today Is The Day -  Who Is The Black Angel? 226 Hank Williams Jnr - Tennessee River 227 The Dead Weather -  Bone House 228  Every Mother's Nightmare - Long Haired Country Boy 229 Motley Crue - She goes down 230 Waylon Jennings - Tennessee 231 Dolly Parton - Down On Music Row 232 Jello Biafra & Mojo Nixon - Lets Go Burn Ole Nashville Down 233 The Byrds - Nashville West 234 Sharon Van Etten - Every Time the Sun Comes Up 235 Bill Anderson ~ More Than A Bedroom Thing 236 Dottie West - Route 65 To Nashville 237 Intruder - The Martyr 238 Johnny Cash - Smiling Bill McCall 239 Lynard Skynyrd - Workin For MCA 240 The Everly Brothers  - Nashville Blues 241 Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood - Elusive Dreams 242 Nashville Bluegrass Band - Im Gonna Love You 243 Ringo Starr - No-No Song 244 Hank Williams - Hey, Good Lookin' 245 The Lovin Spoonful - Nashville Cats 246 They Might Be Giants - James K. Polk 247 Commander Cody  -  Back To Tennessee 248 Wanda Jackson - Shakin' All Over 249 Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - Grand Ole Opry Song 250 Tomahawk - Flashback 251 Megadeth -  Dystopia 252 Dolly Parton -  Train, Train 253 The Clovers - One Mint Julep 254 Trampled By Turtles - Whiskey 255 Tom T. Hall - Nashville is a Groovy Little Town 256 Muddy Waters - I am the blues 257 Foo Fighters - Congregation 258 Pavement - Strings Of Nashville 259 Joe Ely - Tennessees Not The State Im In 260 Waylon Jennings - Nashville Bum 261 The Charmels - As Long As I Got You 262 Eve Maret - Do my thing 263 SABATON - 82nd All the Way 264 Halfway To Hazard - Welcome To Nashville 265 Nashville Pussy - Go Motherfucker Go 266 Indigo Girls - Nashville 267 Snarls - Walk In The Woods 268 Steeler - Cold Day in Hell 269 Strummin' With The Devil  - Jamies Cryin' 270 spazz gummo love theme 271 The Cramps - Cornfed Dames 272 Saxon -  Solid Ball Of Rock 273 Al Green - Tired of Being Alone 274 Soul Friction - It's Out Of My Hands 275 Today Is the Day - Wheelin' 276 Jackie Lynn - Odessa 277 The Jesus Lizard - Nub 278 Bully - Where To Start 279 Sonny Boy Williamson II - Lonesome Cabin 280 Tomahawk - God hates a coward 281 The Louvin Brothers - Knoxville Girl 282 Tom Waits - Jitterbug Boys 283 The Evil Dead Soundtrack  - Bridge Out 284 Wanda Jackson - Thunder On The Mountain 285 Elvis Presley - Where Do I Go From Here 286 Booker T & the MGs - Back Home 287 Ezra Furman & the Harpoons - American Highway 288 Joe Ely - dream camera 289 Assjack - Tennessee Driver 290 Nashville Pussy  - We Want A War 291 Dwight Yoakam - A Thousand Miles From Nowhere 292 Hank Williams, Jr. - Knoxville Courthouse Blues 293 ZZ Top - My Head's in Mississippi 294 Nitty Gritty Dirt Band -  Honky Tonkin' 295 Dead Weather - Die by the Drop 296 The Black Belles - What can I do 297 Dolly Parton  - Cowgirl And The Dandy 298 The Secret Sisters  - I've Got a Feeling 299 Justin Townes Earle - Aint Got No Money 300 Tomahawk - M.E.A.T 301 Jex Thoth - The Places You Walk 302 Bill Carter - Road To Nowhere 303 Bill Dees (Roy Orbison back vocals) - Tennesse Owns My Soul 304 Karen Elson  - The Ghost Who Walks 305 The Who - Whiskey Man 306 Hank Williams III - Crazed Country Rebel 307 The Lost Sounds - I Get Nervous 308 Big Star - September Gurls 309 ZZ Top - Whiskey n Mama 310 Johnny Cash - God's Gonna Cut You Down 666 Isaac Hayes - Hyperbolicsyllablecsesquedalymistic

Hit play: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1_X9nesbW37-9FNLiJWOQ1f

[legalizesupercorp]

In Honor of Pride Month here’s a list of out and proud LGBTQ+ Celebs

1) Nicole Maines

2) Demi Lovato

3) Colton Haynes

4) Miley Cyrus

5 & 6) David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris

7 & 8) Ellen Degeneres & Portia De Rossi

9) Hayley Kiyoko

10 & 11) Matt Dallas & Blue Hamilton (ft their son Crow)

12 & 13)  Cara Delevingne & Ashley Benson

14 & 15) Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

16) Rosie O’Donnell

17) Sara Gilbert

18) Maisie Richardson-Sellers

19) Lady Gaga

20) Elton John

21) Elliot Fletcher

22) Bex Taylor-Klaus

23 & 24) Cheyenne Jackson & Jason Landau

25) Zachary Quinto

26) Matt Bomer

27) Chaz Bono

28) Billy Eicher

29) Ross Matthews

30 & 31) Stephanie Allynne & Tig Notaro

32) Laverne Cox

33) Rowan Blanchard

34) Halsey

35) Keiynan Lonsdale

36) B.D. Wong

37) George Takei

38 & 39) Teddy Geiger and Emily Hampshire

40) Lauren Jauregui

41) Caitlyn Jenner

42) Stephanie Beatriz

43) Freddie Mercury

44) Anderson Cooper

45 & 46) Tegan & Sara

47 & 48) Jaymes Vaughan & Jonathan Bennett

49 & 50) Ruby Rose & Jessica Origliasso

51) Shane Dawson

52 & 53) Rose Ellen Dix & Rosie Spaughton

54) Tessa Thompson

55) Drew Barrymore

56) Danny Pintauro

57) Alyson Stoner

58) Raven Symone

59) Sara Ramirez

60) Shannon Beveridge

61) Jodie Foster

62) Ellen Page

63) Jane Lynch

64) Wentworth Miller

65) Amber Heard

66) Jim Parsons

67) Victor Garber

68) Michelle Rodriguez

69) Cynthia Nixon

70) Alan Cumming

71) Ricky Martin

72) Wanda Sykes

73) Billie Joe Armstrong

74) Samira Wiley

75) Melissa Eheridge

76) David Hyde Pierce

77) Heather Matarazzo

78) Charlie Carver

79) Angelina Jolie

80) John Barrowman

81) Robin Roberts

82)  Michael J. Willett

83) Frank Ocean

84) Clay Aiken

85) Kristen Stewart

86) Robert Gant

87) Wilson Cruz

88) Rupaul

89) Lily Tomlin

90) Sandra Bernhard

91) Megan Fox

92) Vanessa Carlton

93) Chris Colfer

94) Lance Bass

95) Jesse Tyler Gerguson

96) Stephen Fry

97) John Glover

98) Sean Hayes

99) Ian McKellan

100) Brendon Urie

101) Denis O’Hare

102) Adam Lambert

103) Nathan Lane

104) Eric Millegan

105) Adamo Ruggiero

106) Amandla Stenberg

107) Garrett Clayton

108) Janelle Monae

109) Kevin McHale

110) Paris Jackson

111) Kate McKinnon

112) Ke$ha 

113) Aubrey Plaza

114) Fergie

115) Anna Paquin

116) Aaron Carter

117) Kristian Nairn

118) Jake Zyrus

119) Bella Thorne

120) Mara Wilson

121) Sam Smith

122) Ezra Miller

123) Ian Alexander

124) Lachlan Watson

125) Jeffree Starr

126) Sophie Turner

127) Evan Rachel Wood

128) Thomas Sanders

129) Lilly Singh

130) Emilie Autumn

131) Janeane Gerofalo

132) Gillian Anderson

133) Wallis Day

134) Andrew Rannells

135) Billy Porter

136) Laura Jane Grace

137) Michael D. Cohen

138) Rachel Maddow

139) Lea DeLaria

sorry for the long af post but i wanted to include as many as possible

Please feel free to add whoever I missed :)

[willowswriting]

"I'm starting to get convinced that it's about all he has a knack for." Harper admitted with an innocent eyeroll accompanying her words. She loved her brother and the siblings were tighter than thieves in her her family but she swore Theo would loose his damn head if it wasn't attached and she'd be left to sow it back on for him. "I appreciate the help." She admitted. In all honesty she had begun to give up hope on finding the baby and although she wasn't quite sure that Caleb would be as distraught as she'd be if they didn't find her it was still nice to have a second pair of eyes searching. Theo should be out here with her but her brother had already assumed that they had lost the calf to the neighboring land owners or a hungry pack of wolves... loosing a calf didn't mean anything to him because it was a lose that they could easily rectify where money spoke. Where most of the Wallace's saw dollar signs Harper saw a helpless life.

'lotta things don't play nice when the sun goes down.' the mans words rang true in her ears and she couldn't help but wonder to herself if Caleb played nice once the sun set. She shook her head, attempting to rid herself of those sort of thoughts. She was on a rescue mission not setting out on an exploration of this near stranger. She couldn't help but notice however the way his glances used to linger on her as well. Something deep and almost unsettling in those dark hues of his. Harper watched as Caleb saddled his horse, her own horse in her stall back at the barn. Perhaps it had been stupid to wonder out on foot this late but she had had foolish hope that the calf had grown scared and had decided to stick to the pastures that she knew nearby... she had been wrong.

She had already assumed by the way Caleb had spoken that she would more than likely be joining him on the back of his horse so she walked closer, reaching out to pet down the horses neck and familiarize the animal with her while Caleb did the heavy lifting of situating the saddle. "We find this calf I'll owe you big time." She spoke. "And I always make good on my debts." She nodded. It was something that her father had instilled in her at a young age and even if her father didn't live by that same rule these days, unknown to her, she still did.

@willowswriting from here

jesse—or caleb, as she knew him now—leaned the hammer against the fence post and shook his head slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching into that familiar crooked grin. “a calf?” he drawled, letting his eyes follow hers toward the horizon where the shadows were already stretching long and thin across the land. “ain’t seen him, but i reckon i can help you look. can’t have a little one out there all night.” his words were easy, light enough to match the mood she was trying to keep, but inside, jesse felt a pang of guilt he couldn’t quite shake. every time she looked at him like that—with curiosity, maybe even a flicker of interest—he was reminded of just how much he didn’t deserve it. not her kindness. not her trust. and damn sure not the way her gaze lingered just a little longer than necessary when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. “your brother’s got a knack for losin’ calves, doesn’t he?” jesse added with a dry chuckle, leaning one elbow against the fence as he glanced down at her. the way her lips tugged into a smile almost made him forget the bitterness twisting in his chest. almost. it was getting harder to hold the pieces of himself together around her. harper had a way of cracking through his defenses without even trying, and jesse wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep pretending to be the man she thought he was. he pushed the thought away, forcing his focus back to the moment. “i’ll grab my horse,” he said, straightening up. “we’ll cover more ground that way. you can tell me where theo lost sight of him.” he paused, eyes locking with hers for just a second too long. “don’t want you wandering too far out here alone. lotta things out there don’t play nice when the sun goes down.” he turned before she could argue—or before he could let himself stare at her any longer. with his back to her, jesse let out a slow breath, his hand curling into a fist. he hated the way she made him feel vulnerable, like she was prying open a part of him he’d buried deep. but more than that, he hated himself for feeling anything at all.

as he saddled up his horse, a wave of memories washed over him—his parents’ laughter on a warm evening, the way his mother’s hand had rested on his shoulder as his father worked the land. and then, just as quickly, the flash of gunfire, the shouts, the silence. harper’s father had been there that night. maybe not pulling the trigger, but close enough to share the blame. jesse tightened the cinch on the saddle with a sharp tug, his jaw set. he couldn’t forget. couldn’t forgive. but as harper’s voice called out from behind him, soft and sweet, it was getting harder to separate the man he was from the man he wanted to be.