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souliebird · 1 year

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[[and then i met you || ch.1]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary: A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s.

a/n: Reader is an extremely anxious person. That’s the note.

words: 5.6k

You hope Matthew Michael Murdock is a good man.

You tried to research him online, but you didn't find anything that could sway you one way or another.

The news articles say he's some sort of local hero - not only for being a lawyer who does a lot of pro-bono work but for saving a man from being hit by a truck when he was a kid. They all give his tragic backstory before praising him and his law partner for helping the underprivileged and going after some big shot corrupt businessman - twice. The comments are mostly from people he's helped, singing about how Nelson and Murdock saved them in their times of crisis.

You want to trust them, but you can't.

The news also claimed Hitler was Person of the Year and deserved praise, too, and you know how that turned out. Not that you think a blind lawyer from Hell's Kitchen can be compared to a genocidal leader, but your mental point to yourself still stands.

You know nothing about Matthew Murdock except he's blind, he's a lawyer, and his dick changed your life.

You doubt he even remembers you - a one-night stand from years ago, before his name even started appearing in the news again, and to be fair, you didn't remember him at first, either. Not until four months later when you went in to get your anxiety medication adjusted and the doctor made you take a routine pregnancy test. Then you remembered the handsome blind lawyer who flirted with you at a friend's holiday party you had gone to. You could remember the silly conversation you had about white elephant, that he had the most charming smile, and he could do things with his tongue that made you moan just thinking about, but you could not remember his name.

You had tried to find him, you really did, but your energy and attention was quickly needed elsewhere and the search for your daughter's father lost steam.

Until you saw him on the television while at the local diner, giving an interview with his law partner.

That was yesterday and now you are standing outside the door of his firm, trying to work up the courage to go in.

There's too many scenarios in your head, all of them bad- he's not going to want anything to do with you and your daughter, which you can deal with, or maybe, just maybe, he'll try to take her away from you. He's a lawyer and you work in billing for a transportation company. There's no doubt who the courts would choose and it wouldn't be you.

The thought makes you want to turn and run but you know your daughter deserves the chance to know her father - and he deserves to know she exists. It's his choice, once he knows, if he wants to be in her life or not, not yours.

It scares you so much it's not your choice.

You scrub at your face, trying to work up the courage to actually open the door in front of you when it does just that.

A kind looking woman with strawberry blonde hair is standing in the doorway and you recognize her from the firm's website - Karen Page. She's the third partner in the firm and you didn't really look into her in your hunt for information.

She offers you a smile before speaking, "You look like you're debating coming in." You shrug, unsure what to say because that is exactly what you were doing but don't want to admit it. She looks you over without it feeling judgmental before focusing on the manila envelope in your hand. She steps back slightly and gestures for you to come into the office. "You made it this far. Whatever it is, we'll do our best to help you."

The sentiment is so kind and you know she means well, thinking you are a potential client, but it just causes your throat to get even tighter.

It has been you and your daughter for so long, is this really the right path to take?

You hug your file to your chest and take a hesitant step forward. Then another and another until you are in the office. It's not big or fancy and you didn't expect it to be. There's a little waiting area in front of the reception desk, with another desk shoved against a wall, and on either side of the room, doors leading to what you suspect are the private offices.

Karen goes around to the back of the reception desk and picks up a clipboard holding some paperwork and offers it out to you.

You take it and stare down at it, unsure if you would fill it out or not. When you look back up, Karen is still smiling at you and you don't want to come off as a problem, so you take a seat in the waiting area and start filling out the requested information. As you write out your address, it finally occurs to you that you have no idea how to have the conversation you need to have.

Do you ease into it or drop it on him like a bomb? You had only ever thought about finding him and never about what you would say when you did.

You should have taken more time to plan this out. You're such an idiot - you just jumped right into running towards him like you might lose track of him if you took so much as a second to think. You know his name now, who he is, you can take time to get things sorted out properly.

Would it be weird to leave in the middle of filling out paperwork you shouldn't even be bothering with?

Probably not, but you're already here. There is no point in running.

This is for your daughter, not you. You have to keep telling yourself that.

You don't fill out the information asking about your 'case'. It honestly makes you panic a bit if you start thinking about it all in a legal sense - you know nothing about law and the man you're meeting with graduated at the top of his class from a top law school. Your hand is shaking as you add your signature to the bottom of the page and date it. Reviewing everything takes just a moment, since there's barely anything written to begin with, and your eyes drift up to the logo at the top of the page.

Nelson, Murdock, and Page.

You trace it with your finger.

Matthew Murdock has to be a good man. This firm helps people and he wouldn't be here if he didn't want to help people. He graduated top of his class; he could work anywhere he wanted to. The papers said he is good, too - they win most of their cases.

Unless it's all a weird front to hide something like money laundering.

But if they were money launders wouldn't they have enough money to afford an air conditioner?

"All done?"

Karen is in front of you, smiling politely. You are surprised by her appearance, but you don't feel pressured. It's like she's checking in so that she can break you out of your thoughts and you appreciate that. You nod and hand her the clipboard. She takes it, giving it a once over.

"Foggy will be out in just a minute."

Your head jerks up at that.

"No, I need to see Mr. Murdock."

You can tell Karen is surprised by that and her eyes narrow just a fraction. She searches your face, then she looks towards the door on the left.

You turn your head to follow her gaze.

"Matt!" Karen calls out.

A few moments pass before the door opens and you feel like you're going to throw up.

The cameras don't do him justice.

Matthew Murdock is gorgeous. He was handsome before and somehow, he just got hotter. He's a little taller than you, still as lean as you remember, and looking crisp in a gray suit - like some model walked off the catwalk and into a sweltering office. His hair is shorter than you remember it being. You have the distinct memory of being able to grab onto it, but it's too cropped to do that now.

But the thing that catches your attention the most is that in person and in the light, you can see Matthew's hair has an auburn tint to it.

Just like Minnie's.

The realization shakes your entire world.

This man is the father of your child. He's real. He's no longer a concept of a person, who you knew nothing about, who just existed somewhere in the world.

You have to look away before you start to cry. You don't know where this surge of emotion is coming from - it feels like this wave of relief. This question you have always had finally has an answer.

You tell yourself to take a breath, you know getting overly emotional isn't going to help anything. It might actually make things worse and spiraling into a meltdown is not a good first impression.

You can see Karen in your peripheral vision, and you look up to her, trying to regain your focus.

It's Matthew who speaks first, "Yes, Karen?"

"We have a walk-in who is hoping she can speak with you."

You introduce yourself, standing up as you do. You know he is blind, so you don't offer your hand. Instead you clutch your folder to your chest.

He doesn't seem to remember your name. He turns towards you and gives a polite smile. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Matthew Murdock, but you seem to know that. I have some time right now, please come in. Karen, can you grab us some water before you join us?"

"Yeah, sure," Karen says as she turns to do just that.

Your throat gets tight again.

You don't want to have this conversation with someone else there. It's already going to be hard enough. You'll definitely start crying if Karen is in the room. You cannot deal with two people's reactions. The mere thought of you having to do that is making you sweat.

Matthew's voice breaks you out of your panic. "If that is okay?"

You rush out your response, "I would prefer to speak alone, please." You're too panicked to feel embarrassment.

Karen doesn't seem phased by this. She is still grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and offering one out to you. You take it.

"Not a problem, let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks, Kare. Please, come this way," Matthew motions for you to follow him into the office.

This is it.

Once you go through that door, you aren't leaving that room without telling Matthew Murdock he is a father.

You surprise yourself by not hesitating and just charging forward into the office.

This isn't about you or your fears.

This is for Minnie.

You keep your gaze forward because you can't bring yourself to look at him. If you stop and look at him before you tell him why you are here, you will just start over analyzing everything once again. You silently beg to whatever gods will listen that everything will be okay, and this man won't destroy you.

He doesn't look like he is going to break your heart.

But you know that looks mean nothing when it comes to pain.

He closes the door behind you with an audible click and the weight of the moment starts to come down on your shoulders.

You take the seat in front of the desk quickly, worried your nerves might catch up with you, placing the water on the ground beside you with your purse when you sit. Matthew doesn't rush, he walks to his desk with an air of quiet confidence and if you were a client, it would be comforting, but you aren't and all it does is remind you why you fell into bed with him.

"What brings you in today, Miss..?" He trails off, prompting you to say your name again. As he reaches his desk you watch as he trails his fingers along the edge, using it as a guide, before moving his hand to brush over the back of his seat before sitting in it.

You chew your bottom lip, wishing you had taken a second to actually plan what you would say instead of jumping in. As far as you know, there isn't a step-by-step guide on how to tell a one-night stand that he's the father of your child - not that you actually looked into that in your desperate research the night before.

Matthew doesn't push as you gather your thoughts. He moves some paperwork away from the center of his desk, then folds his hands there, waiting. You keep your gaze on his hands, needing something to focus your eyes on while you force the truth out.

"I saw your interview last night," you say, deciding to start there, as it seems the most relatable.

Matthew's brows knit together and he tilts his head to the side and you are one again reminded of Minnie. It's a gesture she does often, tilting her little head left and right as she tries to understand something. It always reminded you of a dog and now you wonder if it's not a learned behavior, but genetic.

His lips turn down into a frown and his head stays cocked as he asks, "Do you have information about the Lynch case?"

Heat rushes to your cheeks - of course that would be the question to ask after bringing up the interview. The whole piece was about a specific case they were working on and how it would affect Hell's Kitchen and you hadn't paid any attention to what was said - not after you realized who was on the screen.

You shake your head, resisting the urge to look away and you curl your fingers tighter around the manila folder in your lap. "No, I'm sorry. I saw you and…recognized you."

He straightens up and his demeanor shifts to something less…friendly. It's minute but your messed-up brain screams at you about body language - his shoulders have squared up and you can see where he's clenching his back teeth. You quickly continue on, wanting to get through with your explanation before your anxiety makes you clam up.

"We met nearly five years ago," your voice is firm and factual and you're proud of yourself for that, "at a holiday party."

The words leave your mouth and you know he knows. Every part of him seems to go still - even his breathing seems to stop. The crease between his brow smoothes out, like he's gone from squinting to wide eyes behind his dark glasses. Your heart is pounding in your ears and your throat is getting stiff, but your voice remains steady as you push the words out.

"I think you are the father of my child."

All the color seems to leave Matthew's face and he looks nearly as gray as his suit. The reaction makes your stomach turn. He looks like he is going to throw up.

You bite into your lip, waiting for Matthew to do or say something. All you can do is mentally chant to yourself: he's a good man, he won't take her away.

You know it's probably just seconds, but it feels like hours pass before Matthew moves.

He leans slowly back in his chair, reaching up with one hand to rub at his mouth.

"Are you sure?"

He doesn't sound upset, at least to your ears. His words are cautious - tentative - and it makes your heart go tight in your chest. You don't know if it's fear or hope or everything crashing into you at once now that he knows.

You force out a nod before you remember that the man in front of you is blind. You find your voice and words creep out.

"I'm pretty sure," you start. Your eyes drop away from his hands back down to your lap and you have to lick at your lips to wet them before continuing, "I didn't go out much after that party, I got so busy with work. I didn't…find out until the first trimester was over. By then, I couldn't remember your name. My friends who I went to the party with didn't know you either. I tried to Google you with what information I had, but 'blind lawyer' just got me a lot of disability lawyers." You take a shaky breath, "I understand if you want a paternity test."

You know Matthew is probably taking everything in, but now that you've started talking, it's like you've lifted the dam on your anxiety. You squeeze the file in your lap - just because you hadn't known how you were going to tell Matthew the truth did not mean you hadn't extensively thought about the consequences. Words start to spill out of you.

"I also understand if you don't want anything to do with us, I get it's a big shock. I'm not looking for anything from you." Matthew drops his hand to the desk and if you didn't know better, it would look like he was staring at you. "I just wanted you to know and I thought it would be good for her to know you, but if you don't want that, I get it. All I ask is you fill out some paperwork, medical history mostly so I know if there's anything I need to look out for. I printed it out for you, it's all in braille."

You get up just enough so that you can place the manila envelope on the desk, then sit back down. Your throat is getting so tight and stiff you feel like you're struggling to breathe.

Matthew runs his hand over his desk until he can feel the envelope. His fingers move along the edge and you stare at them, like they are going to be the one to reveal what Matthew is thinking instead of his mouth. He finds the lip but doesn't open, instead flattening his palm against it.

"...her?"

His voice is so quiet you barely hear it. You lift your head to finally look at him and your heart skips a beat.

Matthew looks so soft. The corners of his lips twitch a few times before a smile slowly spreads across his face.

And you know.

You know without a doubt he is your daughter's father. They have the exact same smile. You can't help but to grin as well.

This is good, isn't it? He looks Happy.

"I have a daughter.."

"Winifred.. Winifred Love," you offer. Matthew lifts his head and tilts it towards you, brow wrinkling slightly.

"Love…?" He asks, no judgment in his voice, only curiosity.

You close your eyes in a bit of embarrassment, as you always do during the story, "I meant to put Grace, but I was out of it. I even put a big heart next to it on the paperwork." You aren't ashamed of the story and you love your daughter's name, but it's always a 'oops I was high' moment, even if it was done with the purest intention.

If possible, Matthew's smile gets even bigger.

"Winifred Love," he says, his voice dropping back down to the barely there whisper.

"She goes by Minnie. Like, um.. Like Minnie Mouse," you say. That gets an amused yet fond chuckle. You find yourself relaxing at the noise - like some of the pressure squeezing on your lungs has been lifted and you can finally breathe.

He repeats her nickname and you feel your lips start to turn up.

"How old..?" His voice cracks with emotion and Matthew has to clear his throat before continuing, "how old is she?"

"Three and a half," you answer quickly, "her birthday is a few months away." You bite your lip then hesitantly add, "She wants to go to the zoo. It's all she talks about."

"Yeah?" Matthew prompts. His smile is so so soft and it makes your stomach turn in this pleasant way. However, you were expecting him to act, this is not it. In your heart, you think the best you were going for was acceptance, but this seems much more than that. There is a stinging in the corner of your eyes and you have to take your own steadying breath continuing on.

"Yeah, um.. She…likes maps right now. I got her a map to the zoo and she's got the whole day planned." Which is very much true - your coffee table has been the home of a makeshift zoo diorama for a little over a week now and the itinerary has changed about twenty times.

Matthew ducks his head and nods a little, taking all the information in. You squeeze your fingers in your lap, needing a way to release the nerves still buzzing inside you.

A few moments pass before Matthew clears his throat again, "What else does she like..?"

The question makes you chuckle just a little bit, only because gushing about your daughter is something you're very good at. Since you work at home, it is just the two of you ninety percent of the time, you don't get to coo over her very often.

"She loves arts and crafts - anything she can get her little hands on. Right now she loves pipe cleaners and paper, things she can bend and fold, you know? I set her next to me while working and she'll just fold paper into little shapes. Not origami or anything, just abstract things, she doesn't plan it. She always wants to help, too, whatever I'm doing. Cooking and cleaning. She is the best helper for grocery shopping." You pause, looking over Matthew's smile for a moment before continuing on, tears starting to gather in your eyes.

"She looks just like you," you admit, fondness clear in your voice because it is so so true. Now that you are properly looking at him, Minnie looks just like Matthew, and telling him that makes him light up even more. "You've got the same smile. The same hair. Hers is a little more red, but it's definitely from you."

You watch Matthew lick at his lips and you want to know what is going on in his head. You think everything is going well, even if you are on the verge of crying. They are tears of relief - relief you weren't told to fuck off or to go get your own lawyer. You don't fully know if Matthew Murdock is a good man, but you're over the first hurdle and the prospects are looking good.

Matthew leans back into his chair, inhaling deeply, as if centering himself, then asks, "Why now? Why find me now?"

"Like I said, I couldn't find you, I didn't know anything about you, really, except what you looked like and you were a lawyer. I did try, I really did, but…" you trail off with a shrug, "I had a newborn."

Matthew seems to accept that answer - it is the truth after all - and continues on, "But you saw the interview... Last night?"

You nod, "I was picking up some dinner and they were playing the news at the diner. I saw it and looked you up and now…now you know."

"Now I know…" Matthew repeats slowly, his smile dropping a little and you wonder if is hitting him in different waves, like it did you - the realization he is a father. You know it is an intense roller coaster and you are not going to try to guide his ride, especially after just kind of dropping it on him.

He taps the manila folder in front of him, the crease returning to his brow, "What is this?"

Your cheeks get hot again and you turn your gaze away from him and back to your lap, "Requests for family medical history and information about how to establish paternity, if that's what you want."

"It is," Matthew rushes out. Your head jerks up and his expression looks serious, "I want that. I want to be in her life."

He sounds so sure of himself that it makes your head spin a little. You built up in your mind he either wouldn't want anything to do with you and Minnie or he was going to try to take her away - you hadn't really considered the obvious option that Matthew would just want to be involved. At least, that is what you are hoping he is implying.

"I won't abandon my daughter," the conviction in his voice startles you, but it also makes your heart twist but in a good way because in that moment, you believe him. "And I won't abandon you. I used to question if I had the right to bring a child into my life, but this isn't a hypothetical anymore…. And I can't.." he trails off and leans back into his chair, rubbing at his mouth again. You don't press, you have no right to when you've come out of the blue and changed his entire world. He takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I can't step away now that I know she is out there."

You quickly shake your head at his words, "You don't need to rush into anything, I mean it, I don't want anything from you but for you to have the chance to know her. We can go slow, she's still little, you know? She can't handle a big change. Start small?"

You're more worried about how he is feeling versus what you are. You have at least prepared yourself to have a reaction - he thought he would be having a normal work day and you've given him a lot to process in the last five minutes.

"We can go at your pace, Matthew."

He drops his hand from his face, a smile coming back to his face, "You can call me Matt."

You repeat your preferred name, then apologize, "I'm sorry for coming out of nowhere. I didn't want to lose track of you again, but I could have scheduled an appointment."

Matt shakes his head a little, "No, I get it." His hand goes back to the envelope, like touching it is grounding him like squeezing your fingers is grounding you. "I'm glad you came…I'm glad…thank you. Thank you for telling me."

Part of you wants to reach across the desk and squeeze his hand, to give him comfort and let him know everything will be okay, but you don't dare. He's still a stranger, despite everything. You decide pushing past the emotional to the practical might be the best approach for now. You need to get your anxiety to settle now that you know your world isn't going to end and the best thing for that, in your mind, is getting an action plan.

"I don't know what the steps are for doing this," you start, trying to think up ideas as you talk, "but I think maybe we could…get together again and plan things out? Give you time to adjust to the idea and let you think about how you want to move forward?"

Matt nods along with your words, "That sounds like a good idea."

You bend down to grab your phone out of your purse, "I put my contact information in the packet, but could I get yours?"

He waits until you are ready, then gives you his personal number then the office number. You do the quick song and dance of calling his phone, so that he has your number and you wait patiently as he adds you as a contact. Hearing the voice commands to navigate a phone is new to you and once he is done putting in your information, you let your curiosity get the better of you.

"Do you prefer texting or phone calls?"

"Phone calls would be preferable," Matt says as he sets his phone on his desk, having held it up to speak clearly into it, "I have text to speech but it's not always the easiest for texting."

You nod in understanding, "Got it." You squirm in your seat, unsure of what comes next, so you say the very first thing that comes to mind. "You can call anytime. I work from home so you don't have to worry about interrupting anything…like I'm doing with you."

He hums, then asks, "What does Minnie do during the day?"

"She stays with me, mostly. There's a daycare down the block she goes to if I need someone to watch her. That's where she is now."

That makes Matt frown just slightly and part of you panics that he disapproves. "Is it just the two of you…?"

"Yes."

You say it with confidence. You've worked hard to get where you are alone and despite all you've been through, you are proud of that. "My parents passed when I was in college and I don't have any siblings. We've managed to do pretty well on our own. It's not the biggest, but we have a little place in Chelsea."

The little frown stays and you don't know what it means - you hope it's over you not having a big support system and not something else. Matt looks like he is going to respond but a knock at the door cuts him off. You jump at the noise, having totally forgotten there were other people in the office.

Matt looks slightly annoyed when he calls out, "Yes?"

The door opens and the final partner for the law firm is there. "Pardon the intrusion," he says to you with a nod before addressing Matt, "They've got that guy from last week at the 15th. He's asking for us specifically."

Matt openly scowls before running a hand over his face, "Okay. Give me a few minutes."

Foggy nods before stepping back out and closing the door.

"I'm sorry," Matt says sheepishly.

You cut him off before he can say more, standing as you do, "Please don't be, I really did just barge in on you at work. I can call you later? Or you can call me?"

Matt gets up as well, starting to come around the desk, "I can call you." He hesitates just a second, then ducks his chin, that little smile reappearing and your heart does that funny flip again. "Maybe we can get lunch?"

You smile back, "I would like that. We can start planning." You bite your bottom lip, then add, "I can bring Minnie…?"

Matt's entire face lights up and the awkwardness of trying to end your talk evaporates. "I would like that. A lot." He motions to his desk, "I'll work on getting that back to you. I want to…I want to do this right."

"I do, too."

It feels like a promise. You want to believe Matt - that he wants this and won't disappear at the first minor inconvenience. You've read so many horror stories about bad parents and you don't want any of that for Minnie.

You grab your purse and the water Karen gave you, then finally give Matt a proper look over.

You enjoyed your night together with him. Not only had he been a phenomenal lover, but he had made you smile and laugh. You weren't nearly as anxious then as you are now, but you had been rather nervous being flirted with by a handsome lawyer and he had made you feel at ease. Bringing him home with you had been an easy choice.

He must sense you smiling somehow, maybe you giggled or something, but his smile, which had started to fall, brightens back up.

"Can I ask you something before you go?"

You nod to his question, catch yourself and reply, "Of course."

"Can you tell me what she looks like?"

Guilt courses through you and biting your lip turns painful, "I'm so sorry, of course. Um, I included pictures in the packet with descriptions but, of course." His face drops into something a little nervous so you launch into the description of your daughter, emphasizing how they have the same smile because you can’t get over that. You can't help yourself and start describing some of the pictures you included.

"She has this big noise canceling headband so she can sleep comfortably - she doesn't like loud noises - but because she is three, she refuses to wear it unless it's cute. So we crochet little sleeves for it. One of the pictures is her asleep on our couch, face down, because that's how she sleeps, wearing her favorite sleeve. It's Spider-Man the-"

There's a quick series of taps on the door before it opens again.

"Buddy, we gotta go."

You start to apologize, but Matt speaks over you, his voice a little firm as his expression drops, "I'll be right there, Foggy."

A silent conversation seems to go through them, as Foggy raises his eyebrows at Matt and Matt does the same right back. Foggy steps out of the office, closing the door behind him.

"Let me walk you out?" Matt asks, motioning to the door.

"Thank you."

You let him open the door and you follow him into the reception office. Foggy is looking at his phone while waiting by Karen's desk as she finishes packing her laptop. You cross the room in silence as Matt leads you from the office. Once you are in the hallway, he speaks to you in a soft voice.

"Can I call you tonight?"

"Yes, please."

"Does eight work?"

"That's perfect."

"I'll talk to you then."

You force yourself to be the one to turn away and start walking towards the stairs. As you get to them, you pull your bottom lip between your teeth to try to suppress your smile.

Maybe the papers are right and Matthew Murdock is a good man.

You really hope he's a good father too.

#matt murdock x reader #daredevil #matt murdock #fanfiction #soulie writes

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mariacallous · 3 months

Note

lol philadelphia inquirer bodying nyt

https://www.inquirer.com/opinion/editorials/first-presidential-debate-joe-biden-donald-trump-withdraw-20240629.html

President Joe Biden’s debate performance was a disaster. His disjointed responses and dazed look sparked calls for him to drop out of the presidential race.

But lost in the hand wringing was Donald Trump’s usual bombastic litany of lies, hyperbole, bigotry, ignorance, and fear mongering. His performance demonstrated once again that he is a danger to democracy and unfit for office.

In fact, the debate about the debate is misplaced. The only person who should withdraw from the race is Trump.

Trump, 78, has been on the political stage for eight years marked by chaos, corruption, and incivility. Why go back to that?

To build himself up, Trump constantly tears the country down. There is no shining city on the hill. It’s just mourning in America.

Throughout the debate, Trump repeatedly said we are a “failing” country. He called the United States a “third world nation.” He said, “we’re living in hell” and “very close to World War III.”

“People are dying all over the place,” Trump said, later adding “we’re literally an uncivilized country now.”

Trump told more than 30 lies during the debate to go with the more than 30,000 mistruths told during his four years as president. He dodged the CNN moderators’ questions, took no responsibility for his actions, and blamed others, mainly Biden, for everything that is wrong in the world.

Trump’s response to the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection he fueled was farcical. He said a “relatively small number of people” went to the Capitol and many were “ushered in by the police.”

After scheming to overturn the 2020 election, Trump refused to say if he would accept the results of the 2024 election. Unless, of course, he wins.

The debate served as a reminder of what another four years of Trump would look like. More lies, grievance, narcissism, and hate. Supporters say they like Trump because he says whatever he thinks. But he mainly spews raw sewage.

Trump attacks the military. He denigrates the Justice Department and judges. He belittles the FBI and the CIA. He picks fights with allies and cozies up to dictators.

Trump is an unserious carnival barker running for the most serious job in the world. During his last term, Trump served himself and not the American people.

Trump spent chunks of time watching TV, tweeting, and hanging out at his country clubs. Over his four-year term, Trump played roughly 261 rounds of golf.

As president, Trump didn’t read the daily intelligence briefs. He continued to use his personal cell phone, allowing Chinese spies to listen to his calls. During one Oval Office meeting, Trump shared highly classified intelligence with the Russian foreign minister and ambassador.

Trump’s term did plenty of damage and had few accomplishments. The much-hyped wall didn’t get built. Infrastructure week was a recurring joke. Giant tax cuts made the rich richer, while fueling massive deficits for others to pay for years. His support for coal, oil drilling and withdrawal from the Paris Agreement worsened the growing impact of climate change.

Trump stacked the judiciary with extreme judges consisting mainly of white males, including a number who the American Bar Association rated as not qualified. A record number of cabinet officials were fired or left the office. The West Wing was in constant chaos and infighting.

Many Trump appointees exited under a cloud of corruption, grifting and ethical scandals. Trump’s children made millions off the White House. His dilettante son-in-law got $2 billion from the Saudi government for his fledgling investment firm even though he never managed money before.

Trump’s mismanagement of the pandemic resulted in tens of thousands of needless deaths. He boasts about stacking the Supreme Court with extreme right-wingers who are stripping away individual rights, upending legal precedents, and making the country less safe. If elected, Trump may add to the court’s conservative majority.

Of course, there were the unprecedented two impeachments. Now, Trump is a convicted felon who is staring at three more criminal indictments. He is running for president to stay out of prison.

If anything, Trump doesn’t deserve to be on the presidential debate stage. Why even give him a platform?

Trump allegedly stole classified information and tried to overturn an election. His plans for a second term are worse than the last one. We cannot be serious about letting such a crooked clown back in the White House.

Yes, Biden had a horrible night. He’s 81 and not as sharp as he used to be. But Biden on his worst day remains lightyears better than Trump on his best.

Biden must show that he is up to the job. This much is clear: He has a substantive record of real accomplishments, fighting the pandemic, combating climate change, investing in infrastructure, and supporting working families and the most vulnerable.

Biden has surrounded himself with experienced people who take public service seriously. He has passed major bipartisan legislation despite a dysfunctional Republican House majority.

Biden believes in the best of America. He has rebuilt relationships with allies around the world and stood up to foes like Russia and China.

There was only one person at the debate who does not deserve to be running for president. The sooner Trump exits the stage, the better off the country will be.

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pprodsuga · 2 months

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secrets untold (part 1) | sunghoon

summary: ever since sunghoon graduated university, he’s been working the same bothersome job without any real excitement in his life. but when you move into the apartment next to his, sunghoon’s reality is turned upside down and he finds himself running all over korea with you by his side. as he comes to learn, not everything is as it seems.

PAIRING: sunghoon x fem!reader

notes: ahhhhh. four revisions later and i’ve managed to write the best version of this story. i also made a playlist that you should definitelyyyy listen to while reading this. there’s nothing left for me to say other than i love sunghoon and i hope you enjoy. xx

SECRETS UNTOLD PLAYLIST

WORD COUNT: 24.1K

MASTERLIST + TAGLIST SIGN UP

to my lovely best friend @moonstruck-muses for helping me on my revisions, for brainstorming with me, and for being the best person i know.

consider leaving a comment (or two) and reblogging! x

warnings under the cut!

content warnings: mentions and descriptions of guns and a blood wound, violence in the form of hand-to-hand combat and gunshots, descriptions of stitches, alcohol use.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Just once does Sunghoon wish for something exciting in his life.

Day in and day out, he swipes his keycard to enter the lobby of the high-rise building he calls his workplace and locates his secluded office by the back of the floor. His name sits in gold lettering, the prestigious plaque gifted to him upon his promotion a few years prior. Sunghoon’s morning begins by opening his laptop to note all of the reports he has yet to finish from the day before and checks his email for any lingering questions from clients or his co-workers. Despite his diligence, his peers aren’t and he finds himself picking up the slack more often than not. Being a financial analyst was not on Sunghoon’s bucket list of goals to achieve in his twenties. In fact, Sunghoon would rather do almost anything other than look at numbers all day and tell people what to do with them.

If he had his way, Sunghoon would have chosen a career path less rigorous and numerical-based. He would’ve tried his hand at photography and studied the fine arts to garner a career in the editorial space, or perhaps he would use his time at university to study the history of coffee before opening his own shop in the busy city of Seoul. But his parents had other plans for him, namely to study law, medicine, or finance, and the latter of the three options seemed less boring to him.

His years of studying lead him here, at Kim Search Group, crunching numbers that mean absolutely nothing to him.

The glasses that sit on the bridge of his nose become bothersome after an hour of staring at his laptop. His next meeting is in twenty minutes and he’s less than pleased when he realizes his reports are on the docket. The agenda stares back at him in hard, black letters like they’re taunting him. Sunghoon thinks they mock him with the way the cursor hovers over the parts highlighted for his portion of the presentation. Nonetheless, Sunghoon acquires what he needs and heads to the meeting room.

Everybody arrives early as usual. His boss concludes the opening remarks and lets his employees take the floor. One by one, Sunghoon’s co-workers stand in the front of the room and report their findings and other related topics from the past month. It all sounds the same to him; every person in this room looks like they could be carbon copies of one another with their suits too expensive and cologne too strong. It makes Sunghoon nauseous. Everybody here lives for everyone else instead for themselves, himself included.

“Good work, Park,” his boss tells him on the way out of the meeting room. “I grow impressed by your work ethic and capabilities everyday.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kim,” Sunghoon says with a bow.

“Do you think you can finish the Kang-Yoon reports by tonight? Our clients will be here first thing tomorrow morning to review before they decide on their purchase. I’d love to get them a first draft of their financial report when they come in.”

With a tight smile, Sunghoon nods. “Sure thing. I’ll email it to you tonight.”

“I knew I could count on you,” Mr. Kim winks. He nudges Sunghoon’s arm like they’re old friends.

By the time he gets home, it’s nearly nine in the evening. His tie sits loosely around his neck and his suit jacket is thrown haphazardly over his arm with the too-expensive briefcase his father bought him when he had been promoted. Sunghoon can’t help but scoff when he sees the dark brown leather staring back at him.

Sunghoon lives in a quiet part of town, just on the outskirts of Seoul. His neighbors are either asleep by the time the sun goes down or busy juggling children with muffled laughter echoing in the hallways. Typically, Sunghoon expects to come home and enter his apartment lobby to be greeted by the doorman who wishes him a good night, take the elevator to the third floor, and tidy his living room while trying to undress himself in the meantime.

Except, you’ve moved into the apartment next to his.

Now, Sunghoon walks with excitement because he anticipates running into you when he’s on his way up. Sometimes you both arrive at the lobby together. Other times it’s you that he sees unlocking his door when he approaches. It doesn’t matter to him, though. The only good thing about working late on the weekdays is that he gets to run into you when he comes home.

He quickly learns that you like to keep to yourself. You aren’t a loud person–not like his neighbor who lives on the other side of him–because he barely hears your footsteps and never hears you watching television. The most he’s heard is the scrape of a chair against hardwood floors.

Above all, Sunghoon thinks you’re cute. You make his heart flutter for no good apparent reason. He’s barely spoken a word to you beyond introducing himself when you first moved in and yet he finds himself pacing his living room, wondering what kind of food you like to eat and what you do on the weekends.

Sunghoon wishes he could come up with something witty to say to convince you to keep talking to him. But even seeing you in your well-worn clothes and tires expression on a Wednesday night is enough to leave him flustered.

“Hey,” Sunghoon says awkwardly with a single nod in acknowledgement when he sees you standing in front of your apartment. He watches your hand halt by the knob. You turn your head to look around you and Sunghoon feels the heat creep up his neck.

“Hi?” you say with an uptick in your voice, pointing at yourself.

Sunghoon nods. “Hey.”

“You already said that.”

“Right.” He clears his throat. “I’m Sunghoon.”

“I know. I remember you from when I moved in.”

“O-Oh,” Sunghoon stutters. “Right, yeah. You’re right. Well, I’ll introduce myself again in case you need anything.”

You unlock your apartment and step inside. “Duly noted. Goodnight, Sunghoon.”

When the door locks behind you, Sunghoon closes his eyes and curses at the ceiling for being awkward around you. He swears he might’ve felt his knees buckle when he looked into your eyes and struggles to fish out his apartment keys.

He always wishes he could say something that would convince you to stay in the hallway just a minute longer. He wants to be courageous enough to ask a question that piques your interest, so much so that he invites you back to his apartment to discuss it over a bottle of soju before you head back to your place. But Sunghoon doesn’t do any of that because he always gets tongue-tied when he realizes you’re standing before him, and because you always close the door before he can even think of something else to say to you. Sunghoon sighs in defeat and loosens his tie as soon as he steps through the threshold of his own apartment.

He sleeps with the sound of crickets chirping outside his window.

The following morning is the same. Sunghoon wakes up before the sun has the chance to say hello, swipes his keycard to access his office, and stares at his laptop until he’s sure his eyes will fall out of their sockets.

While he meanders in his office with an unusually meeting-free day, Sunghoon uses his idle time to think about you. It seems as if his thoughts gravitate towards you these days, especially as he’s gathered the courage to say more than a few words every time you’re in his line of sight. He still feels that anxiety in the pit of his stomach when he sees you with your hair down after a long day, but it’s not enough to discourage Sunghoon from being as polite as he can so that you remember him as being kind.

If he remembers correctly, you moved into the apartment next to his four months ago. Sunghoon recalls seeing a load of boxes perched by your front door and the bubbling excitement of seeing the new tenant piqued his interest. A large one was used as a door stopper and he’d noticed you carrying boxes inside one-by-one. In fact, that’s the first and only time Sunghoon recalls seeing what the interior of your apartment looked like. White, bare, and undecorated. He had offered to help but you declined on the notion that you hired movers to help bring the rest of your belongings. The two of you exchanged names and pleasantries, and when the conversation fell flat, Sunghoon settled to welcome you into the neighborhood and told you to reach out if you ever needed anything. Much to his dismay, you didn’t.

It’s crazy for him to think about how tongue-tied he’s gotten for a complete stranger over a short period of time, even crazier because he doesn’t know the first thing about you.

It’s gotten so bad that his friends have heard Sunghoon speak about you countless times.

Jay and Jake are his best friends from college and the only people he talks to. Sunghoon’s career has overtaken his social life with many friendships and blooming relationships falling apart because of his commitment to work. His degree is the product of parental expectation, but his paycheck is enough to make him feel comfortable and Sunghoon likes to surround himself with people who don’t make him feel like a stoic shell of a human being.

It seems as though Jay and Jake aren’t tired of him because they regularly include him in drinking nights and check in about his nonexistent relationship with his neighbor crush. Jay in particular is extremely vocal about having work-life balance in order to, as he puts it, “have a life for yourself before you grow old and die alone.”

For now, however, Sunghoon is happy watching you from afar and praying that there’s a reason for the two of you to become closer.

It’s another Tuesday night and Sunghoon is staying late again. Mr. Kim is too, so Sunghoon supposes tonight must not be all that bad if his superior has ordered takeout for himself for the late hours. Sunghoon arrives at his apartment around the same time he always does and prepares himself for a well deserved, deep slumber before he does this again tomorrow. Only, Sunghoon hopes he sees you before he’s off to dreamland.

And there you are, unlocking your apartment door. You look far too cute at nine in the evening. It’s unfair.

“Hey,” Sunghoon calls out to you, throat far too dry to continue speaking. He pulls his keys out of his pockets to keep himself busy when he feels your eyes burning into him.

“That’s the second time you’ve started a conversation by saying that.” Sunghoon whips his head in your direction to be met with a charming smile that seems almost playful. It’s the first time you’ve ever looked at him like this and he swears he feels his knees buckle.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, fishing his keys out of his pocket. “I guess I’m running out of things to say after a long day at work.”

“Is it that bad?”

Sunghoon breathes out a laugh. “I’m a financial analyst. Long hours and not a lot of socializing, if you can believe it.”

“Oh, I believe it.” You put your keys in the lock and push the door open. “Can’t say I’m a big fan of math.”

“It all starts to look the same after a while but you get used to it. Crunching all those numbers…I feel like I’m saving the world,” Sunghoon says facetiously.

“Well, I'm sure you’re a superhero to someone.”

“I highly doubt it, but I appreciate your enthusiasm.”

“I hope tomorrow is kinder,” you tell him as you walk into your apartment. “Don’t let those numbers get you down.”

“Goodnight,” he calls after as you close the door with a friendly smile.

Sunghoon is barely able to make it into his apartment when his cheeks start to hurt from how wide he’s stretched the lower half of his face. As he stares at your shared wall, he feels a sense of excitement and pride swell in his chest upon replaying his conversation with you over and over again. He paces in his living room with the image of your grin etched in his memory and eats a quick meal before getting ready for bed.

Sunghoon sleeps with a smile on his face.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

When the weekend approaches, Jay and Jake accompany Sunghoon to a bar across from his apartment on a rare Friday night at eight o-clock on the dot.

For the first time in a long while, Sunghoon leaves his office right on time with no prospect of having to work later in the evening or on the weekend. His friends convince him to go to the dive bar and celebrate his early dismissal with a drink or two. Sunghoon doesn’t remember the last time he saw them so casually like this because he’s either still at the office or too tired to agree to their plans.

Each of them have at least two drinks in their system. The bar food is starting to digest and the chips are a little too stale for Sunghoon’s liking but Jay and Jake don’t seem to mind as they keep shoveling them into their mouths in between conversations. The two of them seem far too energetic for Sunghoon to keep up and the exhaustion from the past week is finally catching up to him.

“Work has been killing me,” Jake groans while clutching his beer bottle. “You know how I just passed my two-year mark at the Seoul Research Center? Well, my boss assigned me an apprentice who’s interning for the semester and he’s just not cut out for this kind of stuff. I have to remind him about basic protocol every single time we work together.”

“That blows,” Jay says.

“I babysit him more than I do my actual work and I’ve been going in on Saturdays to finish my work. My boss told me not to fuck this up because this kid is apparently the son of one of the investors and plans to work here full time after he graduates college. This is gonna blow up in my face, guys. I just know it.” Jake sighs. “But what about you both? What have you been up to?”

“Some idiot misfiled a bunch of expense reports and I’m responsible for managing them.” Jay rolls his eyes and slumps back in his seat. “I’m good at my job, I know I am. I bring in clients like it’s nobody’s business but because I’m the youngest on my team, all of the managerial tasks are put on me. I mean, we have a secretary for a reason and that’s literally in the job description. Why can’t they do it?”

“Guess this is a bad week for both of us,” Jake says with a light chuckle. “I look forward to the weekend when I realize it’s Monday.”

“What about you, Sunghoon? How are things with you and the firm?”

The condensation of his drink feels nice against Sunghoon’s palm. Jay and Jake are looking at him expectantly and he knows the topic would come around to his job at one point or another. He plasters a small smile on his face and tries to answer as honestly as possible.

“Same old, same old. I’ve only been working late a few days every other week. It’s not as taxing as it was before.”

“Are the higher ups still giving you a hard time?”

Sunghoon shrugs. “I’m only responsible for seven junior analysts. They’re all competent enough and get their work done on time. I don’t really have to look after them like my colleagues and thank god for that.”

“I’m still rooting for you to quit your job,” Jay encourages.

“I’ll quit my job when you quit yours.”

“Touche.” They don’t press him about it anymore.

“Any update on the hottie next door?” Jake asks.

“Don’t call Y/N that,” Sunghoon scolds. “You make her sound like a hooker.”

Jake shrugs. “You said she was hot.”

“I said she was pretty.”

“So you don’t think she’s hot?” Sunghoon rolls his eyes as the other two laugh at him from across the booth. “Relax, I’m just messing with you. It’s fun to see you all riled up.”

“There’s something incredibly wrong with you.”

“Okay, enough with Jake.” Jay pushes his friend to the back of the booth to get closer to Sunghoon with both elbows on the table. “On a serious note, have you talked to her yet?” Sunghoon closes his eyes shut in shame and grimaces. “I’ll take it as a no?”

“Oh we talked,” he says, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling above him. “I actually grew a pair and talked to her when I came home.”

“Why is that a bad thing?”

“I started the only conversations we’ve had by saying ‘hey’ like a virgin loser.” Sunghoon groans before facing his friends again. “She called me out on it too.”

“Ouch,” Jake winces. “That bad?”

“Well, she laughed and we talked about my job a little. She called me a superhero for dealing with math.”

Jay shrugs. “You kind of are.”“Did anything else happen?” Jake asks. “Did she invite you over? Did you invite her over?”

“Slow down, Jaeyun. Not everyone is as pathetically desperate as you are.”

Sunghoon laughs. “No, I didn’t invite her over. I also didn’t go to her place. But she said she hoped the next day would be kinder so I think that’s a good sign?”

“Dude, you’re thinking way too hard about this. That’s like, the best kind of sign. It means she cares about you.”

“I wouldn’t go so far to say that. Maybe the next time I see her, I won’t be such a fucking loser.” Sunghoon finishes his drink.

“Well, maybe you won’t be so tongue tied now that you guys are familiar with each other,” says Jake. “She knows something about you now.”

“But I don’t know anything about her,” Sunghoon groans.

“That’s why you make small talk, Hoon. Maybe try asking Y/N about her day and see where that takes you.”

“Y/N seems like the kind of person to keep to herself. She’s always so quiet.”

“Maybe she’s just a quiet person, then,” Jay adds. “You know, someone you have to get to know in order to get them out of their shell.”

“I’m so bad at talking to girls.” Sunghoon chastises himself and nods when the waiter signals to ask if he’d like another beer. “I get in my own head and end up making a fool of myself.”

“If words fail, just smile at her and use your good looks,” Jake teases. The waiter brings the three of them fresh, cold bottles. Sunghoon takes a long sip and savors the flavor as it slides down his throat. The coolness of the liquid provides a nice contrast to his warm face.

“I couldn’t tell you why I'm so hung up on Y/N. When I see her, I feel like my feet are planted into the floor and nothing I want to say comes out of my mouth.”

“That, my friend, is what it’s like to have a crush,” Jay says. “I mean, you remember the time Jake had a crush on his lab partner in sophomore year, right? The one time he brought her coffee, he ended up spilling it on her white shirt.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jake groans. “But God, I’m really no better.”

“You’re not the only one feeling like this, man.” Jay takes a drink. “Maybe you should take it as slow as you are right now, you know? Start by talking to her before you both go your separate ways. Maybe you’ll be comfortable enough to ask her on a date.”

Sunghoon laughs humorlessly. “God, I’ve been pining after this girl for so long and I don’t know a single thing about her other than her name. What if I never get to know her? What if she moves away and we don’t keep in touch? Or worse, what if she's dating somebody? What if she’s not into guys?”

“Well, I don’t think we can help there,” Jake shrugs.

“I mean, I’d be bummed but I wouldn’t be upset.”

“You would totally be upset.”

“Okay,” Sunghoon says. “Maybe a little upset.”

“There’s no use in thinking about what-ifs,” Jay advises. “You’ll only give yourself a headache.”

“My mom keeps asking about when I’m gonna get a wife,” Sunghoon complains. “Every time we talk on the phone, I can tell she humors the pleasant talk about my job and life because she becomes really animated when she asks that question. How do I tell her that I’m so fucking hung up on my neighbor that the thought of dating anyone else repulses me?”

“Damn,” Jay swears. “You really like this girl, don’t you?”

“Yes, and it’s really fucking frustrating to pine after her because I barely know her and I’m ready to drop everything if she called me right now.”

“Maybe she’s not worth it,” Jake says with a shrug. “I know that’s the last thing you want to hear, but maybe there’s a reason why you haven’t been able to make a move on her. Maybe you guys aren’t good for each other and the universe is trying to tell you that. I don’t know.”

“I just wish someone would send me a sign,” Sunghoon pleads. “I don’t really know what sign, but something that’ll make us talk more. I need courage. I just need one chance. If it fails and she rejects me, then I’ll be an adult and move on with my life.”

“You deserve to be happy,” says Jay. “After all the shit you’ve been through, you deserve at least to go on a date with a cute girl.”

“Everything feels so bleak these days. I go to work every single day and leave unfulfilled. It’s like I’m floating through my day to make it to the weekend just to do this every single week. Before I know it, the holidays have come and another year goes by. I feel like I’m wasting my life by being at this job but my parents sacrificed so much so that I could have the life I have now.

“I don’t know what to do, guys. Every day feels the same. I wonder if this is how my life is supposed to be for the rest of it. Life is so fucking hard and all I want is a break. I just want to feel something.”

“I wish we could give it to you,” Jay says quietly. He knocks his hands to Sunghoon’s. “You know we’re with you every step of the way, right?”

“I know. It’s just…hard.”

“You’re the best person I know, Hoon,” Jake comforts. “I’m really sorry that everything went down the way it did.”

“Sometimes, I wonder if I feel like this for Y/N because I daydream about her to escape my life,” Sunghoon confesses. “I think about a future with her, and I know that sounds crazy considering I barely know her, but sometimes I wonder what it’ll be like to come home to her instead of parting ways when we get home at the same time. I think about cooking meals for her and going on dates instead of working late. I think about falling asleep next to her instead of being alone. I wonder what my life would’ve been like if my parents never forced me to study finance. Maybe Y/N and I could have a chance.”

“Or, maybe you would’ve never met her at all,” Jay says. “Maybe you would’ve never met us.”

“In another life, I’d own a coffee shop and my biggest worry would be somebody making a scene.” Sunghoon laughs. “I could deal with that.”

“Do we get free coffee for life?” Jake asks, pointing between himself and Jay. “I think bitching in dive bars all these years together means we deserve free coffee.”

“I’ll think about it,” Sunghoon teases. “But seriously, I think…I’m so tired of my life right now because I’m unhappy. There’s no excitement. There’s nothing to keep me going. Work doesn’t fulfill me and I hate it when my boss asks me to stay late. But if I quit my job, I don’t know what I’d do. My parents would disown me if I abandoned their plans for me.

“And you know, I feel so fucking selfish talking like this when there are so many people in Korea who don’t have what I have because they don’t have the means to work. I feel so guilty thinking like this when people go hungry every day because they can’t afford to eat. What kind of person does that make me? I can handle bad days so long as there’s a roof over my head.”

“Sure, but you can’t control the way you feel and your upbringing doesn’t make you a bad person,” Jay assures. “You can acknowledge that you’ve had it good in life but that doesn’t mean your struggles aren’t any less valid.”

“Yeah, and beating yourself up over it is only making you more upset. You deserve to be happy, Sunghoon. Don’t forget that.”

“Thanks, guys. I guess I’ve avoided saying how unhappy I am out loud. Sometimes it feels too much because I don’t have a second to myself. When I get home, I sleep and then the next day comes. I dread closing my eyes because that means I have to work the next day.”

“One step at a time,” Jay says. “We’ll be there with you until you figure out what to do next.”

“You guys mean the world to me. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jake says, hiding his blush. “We know.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Another week goes by and Sunghoon is disappointed because not once did he run into you.

He doesn’t know if the universe has it against him or what it is about his conversation with his friends that has left him feeling so empty these past few days. Leaving the bar with alcohol and hope in his system had Sunghoon feeling like he was on top of the world and that everything would fall into place if he willed it enough. But upon coming home on Monday evening and the nights after that, he didn’t see you at your door.

Sunghoon wonders if his life was always supposed to be like this–stagnant to the point where he feels numb, like he's supposed to be a cog in the machine until the day he retires. Even then, Sunghoon wonders if he’ll be happy when he’s finally able to stop being miserable. His greatest fear is looking back at his life and seeing a plethora of unhappy moments instead of achieving what he wanted for himself. He’s afraid of taking his last breath, regretting the relationships he let fall through the cracks and not choosing a life that he wanted to live in favor of making his parents happy.

He wonders if there’s more to his life than feeling alone all the time. He wonders if he’ll regret marrying the person he spends the rest of his life with if he continues down this path, so aggravated by his mother’s inquiries about his love life that he’ll ask the first girl who shows interest in him to marry him. Sunghoon doesn’t know when he’ll stop feeling like an empty shell of a human being and he can’t remember the last time he was truly happy.

Everyday, Sunghoon feels like he’s on autopilot. It feels as though someone else has taken control of his life and he’s completing the orders of somebody else against his will. It’s hard to push back against his norm when he’s got nobody to stand behind him. Knowing his parents would be disappointed in him if he abandoned the life he worked hard for is enough for Sunghoon to remain afraid of changing anything.

He’s snapped out of his daydreams when he hears you come home. This is the first time that you’ve arrived later than he has, to his knowledge, and he wonders if you’ve had dinner. It’s a Friday night and he thinks about if you’ve got any plans for later in the evening.

Sunghoon stares at the television screen and lets the colorful animation fly right over his head as he contemplates his next move. He’s itching to invite you over with all of the unopened bottles of soju he has in his fridge, thanks to Jake buying a case for him at the start of the week. All of the thoughts about how his life feels desolate is enough to convince him that he might have enough courage to invite you over for drinks.

Without thinking too much about it, Sunghoon stands from his spot on the couch and grabs two bottles from his fridge. He pays no mind to the cold sensation against his palms, nor does he care that he’s walking in the hallway in his pajamas and slippers. Sunghoon shoves down any nervousness as he knocks on your doors and figures he has nothing to lose, even if you reject him. He hears your feet shuffling behind the door before you open it.

“Sunghoon?” you say with an uptick in your voice. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says, clearing his throat. Sunghoon holds up the soju bottles, where the condensation has begun running down the side of the glass and onto his fingers. “I, uh, have a few bottles because a friend bought them for me and don’t want to drink them by myself. I was wondering if you wanted to come over and have a drink with me.”

You peer up at him and Sunghoon feels like you’re inspecting him. He avoids running back to his apartment despite his mind telling him to hide. It’s at this moment that Sunghoon realizes he’s putting his heart on his sleeve.

“I’d love to,” you agree. “Would you mind giving me a few minutes? I want to change into something more comfortable.” Sunghoon looks at your attire and you’re still dressed like you’ve just come back from work.

“Yes,” he nods. “Of course. Take all the time you need. Just knock on my door when you’re ready.”

You give him a smile that makes him feel like his heart might burst right out of his chest.

He anxiously waits for you and pulls out his speaker, connecting his phone to play at an appropriate volume. Sunghoon sifts through his playlists until he lands on one that he’s satisfied with and pockets his phone, anxiously pacing around the living room until he hears you knock.

“You look cozy,” he comments, seeing your pajama pants and a sweater that looks a bit too oversized on your body. Sunghoon tries his best to keep himself from making you uncomfortable and steps aside to let you in.

“I hope it’s okay that I brought my own slippers.” He looks down to see your purple ones. “I felt kind of weird putting my shoes on when you’re only a few steps away from me.”

“I don’t mind at all.” Sunghoon brings out two shot glasses from his cabinets and sets them down on the coffee table in front of the couch. “Feel free to make yourself at home.”

You sit politely on the couch while Sunghoon opens a bottle of peach soju and pours a shot in both glasses. He’s slightly buzzed from previously drinking alone and chuckles when he sees your leg crossed over the other, handing one of the glasses to you. His usual, awkward demeanor is relinquished with the alcohol in his system already.

“Here, I think you’ll need a shot or two to loosen up.” You laugh when you hear the glass clink against his before drinking.

“Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve done this.”

He raises his eyebrow. “This?”

“Drink,” you clarify. “And get to know somebody completely off the bat.”

“Well, I’d say we’re pretty acquainted.” Sunghoon pours another shot for himself and beckons you to bring yours over. “We’ve been neighbors for a few months and we know each other’s names. I think we know each other pretty well.”

“Your definition of knowing someone well is different from mine. But maybe I’ll need to take a page or two out of your book.” The two of you clink glasses and drink together.

“You know, I was a little nervous about asking you to hang out,” Sunghoon confesses, sitting on the couch with a respectable distance between the two of you. “You’re the only neighbor I see regularly. It’s nice to see a familiar face from time to time.”

You take the bottle from Sunghoon. “I think you might be the only person I’ve spoken to, really. Well, except for the doorman.”

“Love that guy.” Sunghoon lets you pour liquid into his shot glass and the two of you take another shot together.

“I don’t feel like I’ve gotten to know a lot of the people here. But it’s a big building and so much is always happening. I feel like I’m playing catch up every time people greet me when we’re in the elevator together.”

“You get used to it. There are people from all walks of life who live here and sometimes it’s hard to remember who’s who.”

“I moved in a few months ago, as you know, and I feel like I’m just barely starting to get to know the neighborhood. Do you know Mrs. Kang from 31B? Apparently, her grandson owns a noodle shop just two blocks from here and she swears it’s a neighborhood staple.”

“It’s a small hole in the wall that gets the job done,” Sunghoon nods. “It’s pretty good but they close so early.”

You frown. “That’s a shame.”

“What do you do for work, if you don’t mind me asking? We run into each other at the same time most of the week so I figured you might have a night job, or something.”

“I work as security at the Seoul Metropolitan Library and I usually cover the night shifts because people rarely volunteer for them.”

Sunghoon pours more soju in the glasses. “Oh, really? That’s pretty cool. Do you like working there?”

“It’s a comfortable job that pays decently well. It isn’t the most exciting job but it’s a means to an end, you know?”

Sunghoon immediately drinks his shot. “I know it all too well.”

You follow suit. “Is your job really that bad?”

“I don’t want to bore you with the details, or anything. I invited you over because I thought we could be friends.”

You look at him, amused. “Sunghoon, it’s a Friday night and we’re both staying indoors to drink. This is the perfect time to bitch and moan about your job.”

“Well, shit. In that case, I think we’ll need to finish this bottle off and get another two.”

He leaves you on the couch when the two of you finish the bottle and brings out two more, along with some dry snacks he found in his kitchen. He brings them over on a stray to avoid cleaning a mess while he’s inebriated and sets it on the table in front of you. By now, you’ve taken the liberty to sink to the floor and rest your back on the couch. Sunghoon hides behind a grin at the notion that you might already be comfortable around him.

“Alright, I’ll need to be significantly more drunk to talk about work. You absolutely don’t have to drink more if you don’t want to.”

“Don’t be silly,” you say, grabbing the bottle from him before pouring yourself another shot. “It’s no fun to drink alone.” Sunghoon’s cheeks burn as he watches you swallow the liquid, forcing himself to focus on anything but you to avoid choking on his own spit.

Sunghoon’s mind is already hazy from the head start he had but he can’t deny that you look like the epitome of comfort in your oversized hoodie and pajama pants. He wonders if this is what you must look like when you get home from work and if you’re somebody who likes to sleep with the blankets tucked just underneath your chin. He wills himself to stop daydreaming when he hears you put the glass on the table.

“My job is soul-sucking,” Sunghoon begins. “Everyday is the same and I sit in my office contemplating on jumping out of my window if that means I stop being so miserable every time I open my eyes.”

“You work in finance, right?”

He nods, touched that you remembered. “I do. To sum it up, my job is basically to tell people whether or not they’re spending their money wisely to make a profit. It’s a greedy, immoral business that makes everybody miserable. Yet, everyone keeps a straight face and pretends to be happy by gloating about how much money they have or what liquid assets are in their possession.”

“Sounds tough.”

“I’m pretty good with numbers and my dad works in finance, too. I guess it runs in my blood.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to like it.”

Sunghoon shakes his head. “I know. But he’s set some pretty high expectations for me that seem pretty unattainable and it feels like the only way I can make him proud is by staying at this job and climbing the ranks until I become somebody’s boss.

“Sometimes, it feels like I’m living somebody’s else’s life and I’m watching from the backseat. Most days make me feel like my life runs on a loop because I experience the same kind of dread every time I wake up and get ready for work. I can’t enjoy coming home because I stay later than what’s expected of me and barely get a wink of sleep before I do it all over again.”

“I can understand that to a degree,” you say. Sunghoon watches as you fidget with the strings on your sweater. “Living for somebody else feels bleak when every day feels the same. It’s like there’s no beginning or end.”

He nods enthusiastically. “There’s no purpose in my life right now. I don’t care about our clients or that the rich are getting richer. They could give their money away to people who actually need it but don’t.”

“People who have power are greedy and that’s true no matter where you go. It doesn’t matter if it’s money or influence, politics or connections, it’s always the same.”

“I come from money too,” he admits, pouring himself another shot. Sunghoon stares at the liquid until it settles within the small glass and sighs. “My dad made a fortune in the economic boom just after he married my mom. He understands the struggle, to a degree, but I think he lost a lot of it when his career took off.

“I grew up in a gated community and never had to think twice about asking for anything because I knew I’d always get it. I was so spoiled as a kid and was always told to be grateful for what I have because not many people could say the same.” Sunghoon laughs incredulously. “God, I sound like a dipshit.”

“Maybe just a little.” The way you smile at him makes Sunghoon feel like his stomach is performing backflips.

“I realized a lot of people weren’t like me when I got to university. My best friends had part-time jobs to afford tuition while I didn’t have to. How fucked up is that? I realized the majority of the world works so hard for virtually nothing while people like me sit on power and do horrible things with it. The company I work for glorifies these kinds of people and it pains me to see who gets taken advantage of in the name of making a sale.

“I don’t say that to make you feel sorry for me, or anything,” Sunghoon says, looking at you. “Although, I’m pretty drunk at this point and can’t seem to shut up.” You pour yourself another shot and nudge your glass against his.

“The world might be a messed up place but that doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up for it. Sometimes you need to follow what you’re told just to survive.”

“So we both know what it’s like to work in a corporate hell hole, huh?” Sunghoon asks. He chugs his shot and you follow suit.

“Something like that, yeah. In my experience, putting your head down can only last for so long. Being in that kind of environment makes a person feel like I’m a pawn in someone else’s game and I can’t speak up for myself without repercussions.”

“You fucking get it,” Sunghoon muses. He slaps his thighs like it’s a revelation. “I don’t have many friends other than the two guys I met in university because this job has cut into every part of my life. My colleagues are all people who care a little too much about their jobs and make it a mission to see who can yield the highest profit margin for clients across the board. It’s depressing, really.”

“Money makes people do crazy things. People forget their morals if that means they get a big payout.”

“I feel like I’m the only person at the company who feels like this. Everybody brags about their work. My boss always tells me I’m doing it right by keeping my success stories to myself but he doesn’t get that I feel ashamed to be doing the work that I do.”

You nod slowly. Sunghoon’s eyes are fixed on the way you shift your gaze to look at the coffee table in front of you and the way your mouth parts slightly ajar like you’re about to say something. He waits patiently for you, but you don’t say anything.

“Anyway, sorry for the rant,” he apologies, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or to talk that long.”

“You didn’t. You just made me think a lot about my life. I hadn’t realized that I felt the same.” Sunghoon gestures his hand, beckoning for you to continue. “Ah, my life is filled with chaos. Most days, I don’t know when to quit or when I'll be able to live a peaceful life. It feels right to hope for the best but expect the worst and I’ve grown quite tired of waiting on someone to rescue me.”

“I’m sorry you feel this way too.”

“Thank you. I didn’t know my parents growing up and I lived far from the city life up until I was sixteen. I feel like I pretend to be somebody I’m not to keep my sanity intact on most days. It’s almost like I’ll combust if I face the truth.”

“Makes you feel like a machine, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. It feels like I have no personality and that my opinion doesn’t matter.”

“My colleagues make me feel like I have no voice, either. If I don’t follow the rules the way it’s written to get a job done, then I fail, even if I secure success for my client. Do you ever feel like that?”

Sunghoon watches you nod with a tired laugh. “All the time. Individuality doesn’t matter if you’re doing something to serve the purpose of the ‘greater’ good. What matters is if everyone acts accordingly.”

“It’s a fucked up world we live in, Y/N, let me tell you that.”

“I guess I’m starting to realize just how unhappy I’ve been lately. Sometimes it feels like I’m not meant to amount to anything if it’s not to make other people happy by overextending myself.”

“Don’t say that,” Sunghoon says, knocking his knee with yours. “I’m sure you’re amazing.” He watches you bite your lip to keep from smiling.

“I bet you’re amazing too, Sunghoon.”

“I don’t want to be somebody who follows orders all the time, especially when I don’t believe in them. My boss is somebody who has no values as long as money comes pouring in. He gave me a box of documents to process a few months ago. It had a thumb drive with digital records but none of them made any sense because it didn’t match the payroll for anyone in the company. I tried to look into it on my own but nothing on that drive made any sense when I compared it to financial records we keep for transparency purposes.”

Sunghoon watches your eyes snap to him. “Financial records?”

He nods. “All the names were people who worked for the company but none of the paystubs matched what we keep on file. I think he must’ve given it to me by accident because he came back a week later and asked to look at the box.”

“What happened next?”

“Something felt off about these records so I took a spare thumb drive from the office supply room and put it in that box.”

“What did you do with the actual thumb drive?”

Sunghoon purses his lips. “It’s in my bedroom. I haven’t looked at it since that day because I’m worried that the higher-ups will trace company property back to my personal laptop. I know I shouldn’t have done it and I probably should’ve given it back to my boss, but my gut was telling me something was wrong.”

You look at him with curiosity and Sunghoon can’t fathom why you must be interested. He’s even more perplexed when he sees you sitting like you haven’t taken a sip of alcohol on an empty stomach, body planted to the ground. He’s impressed with how you aren’t rocking from side to side like he is. His body feels like it’s fidgeting where he sits and he feels his head spinning with the growing silence between the both of you. You must have a high alcohol tolerance.

“Well anyway,” Sunghoon says while clearing his throat, attempting to dissolve the tension. “I don’t think I’ll be in trouble if no one notices it’s missing. I’ll probably forget about it tomorrow morning or fess up and give it to my boss when I go into work next week.”

“You should probably keep it a secret until you’re ready to provide evidence.”

He tilts his head and looks at you. “Yeah…You’re right. I’ve never told anyone this before. It’s been a secret I’ve kept for so long but I can’t trust anyone.”

“And you feel like you can trust me?”

Sunghoon shrugs. “You seem loyal. That, and I’m really drunk.”

“I don’t know about you, but my head feels like it’s spinning.”

“Y/N, you look completely sober right now.”

You laugh, the kind of laughter that comes from deep within until it bounces against Sunghoon’s walls until you’re covering your mouth with embarrassment. He wouldn’t mind hearing that again.

“Believe me, I’m pretty drunk. I just conceal it well.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Sunghoon teases. “I thought I was drinking alone.”

You shake your head. “If you need a drinking buddy any time soon, you know where I live.”

“Yeah? You’d be down to do this again?” He watches you tilt your head with a smile he can’t quite decipher, but it hits him right in the chest and the alcohol in his body starts to make his neck feel warm.

“I would love that,” you say. “I can bring the alcohol next time.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Things are going well. Too well. Sunghoon can see the sun’s departure as he makes his exit from his office and down to the lobby, where the sky is turning a shade of purple. The car ride home is even more beautiful, so much so that Sunghoon doesn’t mind getting stuck in a spot of traffic on his way home. For the first time in a while, he’s had a good work day.

He thinks back to the night you were in his apartment and the excitement of a budding crush comes back to him all over again. Through his own glossy, alcohol-fueled eyes, he swears you might’ve been flirting with him when you suggested spending time with him in his apartment again. Sunghoon wonders if he’s your every waking thought like you are to him. He then wonders if he should’ve asked for your phone number before you said goodnight and retreated to your apartment.

Despite this thought, Sunghoon reckons that he’s buzzing from the excitement of getting off of work early. There’s still time for him to engage in whatever he wants to do to unwind after work. He plans on taking extra time to cook himself a big dinner and maybe catch an episode or two of the anime he’s been meaning to finish. When he’s sure you’re back in your apartment, Sunghoon considers asking if you’d be up to hanging out.

He grips his briefcase as he steps into the elevator on his way up to his apartment with a hop in his step. Sunghoon loosens his tie around his neck with his free hand and pushes his clear specks up the bridge of his nose as the elevator door opens. It’s only when he’s about to fish for his keys does he notice your apartment door slightly ajar.

Your lights are turned off. Sunghoon’s arm is still in his pocket as he reaches for his keys and the metal grows warmer as he holds it in his palm. He stands before his own door, a feeling of uncertainty ringing in his ears as he beholds the unusual sight before him. For the months that you’ve lived next to him, you have never been careless enough to leave your apartment unlocked and available to anyone who might be curious enough to enter. Your door being unlocked makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

But Sunghoon tries to rationalize with himself. You could be in your apartment with the assumption that you closed your door when you didn’t. Maybe you were in too much of a rush to get to work and didn’t take the time to close your door properly. Surely even an astute and organized person could slip up from time to time, right?

Or, maybe something is terribly wrong. Maybe you’re in need of help and can’t reach your phone. Sunghoon’s mind runs through a million scenarios, none of which make him feel any better about knowing your door is unlocked. He can partially see inside of it but he can’t see anything else inside. Sunghoon can’t see nor hear you moving in your apartment. Something must be wrong.

Fighting the comfort to dismiss it and retreat back into his apartment, Sunghoon grips his briefcase and shoves his keys back into the depths of his pocket. He takes a careful step forward and feels his balance faltering, wondering if you really did forget to lock the door on your way to work. Still, he thinks it’s better to check if you’re okay before closing your door and telling you about it when you come home. Slowly, Sunghoon uses his free hand to open the door slightly. He pushes his head in and takes a look around but sees nothing out of the ordinary.

“Y/N?” he calls out, opening the door enough to let his body through. “Are you in here?”

Sunghoon talks into your apartment and peers around the corner by the hallway when he feels arms around his neck.

His life flashes before his eyes when he realizes he isn’t alone. The arms around his body feel far too big and muscular to be yours. Sunghoon tries to hit the stranger with his briefcase, but the angle falters and causes him to drop it onto the floor. He grips the assailant’s arm with his fingers in an attempt to pry them off of him until his own fingers feel close to numb. Sunghoon’s attempts prove futile, however, as the strength of the man overpowers him. He feels his breath constrict while his feet shuffle against the hardwood floor, his own voice sputtering out coughs and nonsensical phrases to get the assailant to let him go.

A force makes it so both he and the attacker stumble forward. Sunghoon falls to the ground as he coughs to regain his breath now that he’s free from the chokehold he was put in, the sound of violent gasps seeping in the air amongst the chaos behind him. As he coughs, he looks beside him and sees you land a punch to his face.

You’ve managed to close the door as you dodge the stranger’s attempts to hit and kick your body. You move expertly like you’re dancing at the same frequency, anticipating the assailant’s next move like it’s nothing. It looks like a choreographed sequence with the way you’re maneuvering to block yourself from getting hit while landing punches to the assailant’s chest until you’ve hit a sore spot, kicking the popliteal to make him surrender.

You waste no time and place the stranger’s neck between your arms. Sunghoon watches as he tries to push you off of him to no avail. He thrashes and pulls at your arm but you don’t relent, choosing to wrap your legs around his back when he stands in an attempt to rid you from his body. Sunghoon moves to where the two of you aren’t to stay from the action.

Eventually, the assailant manages to back you into a wall until you shout in pain. The small distraction allows the stranger to pull away from your grasp and run towards your window, bracing himself before breaking the glass and making a run for it.

It’s over as quickly as it began. The sound of glass shattering rings in Sunghoon’s mind as he stares at the shards littered around your floor. He rushes next to you when he notices you walking towards him. Sunghoon watches as you peer out of the window and hastily grabs onto your arm to prevent you from following the assailant out of the window.

“Are you okay?” you ask when you finally look back at him. He’s got a red patch on his jaw from being knocked in the face by an elbow, but Sunghoon’s doing well with the adrenaline that’s coursing through his veins. It's you he’s worried about.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?” Sunghoon lets go of your arm. “What the fuck just happened?”

You talk away from him to turn on the overhead lights to assess the damages to your face on your wall mirror by the door that managed to survive the attack. With a split crack down the middle, you stare at the faint purple bruise on your left cheekbone and the swelling of your bottom lip. Sunghoon watches you from where you stand and uses this opportunity to catch his breath. He watches as you tilt your head to look at your once-bruiseless face, now littered with scratches, and feels an ache in his chest along with confusion.

When he looks around the room, he’s perplexed to see how empty it is. You have a single loveseat facing towards the door with your television mounted in front of it. You have a single chair and a small dining table and the walls are completely blank with no photos held up by picture frames. The open kitchen is barely functional and it seems like all you have is one of everything–one pot, one pan, one set of utensils, one plate, and one bowl–while the rest of the living room has none of your personality.

Sunghoon questions all of it. He wonders if this is the reason you’re always in a rush to get inside when he sees you unlocking the door. He thinks back to all the times the two of you have walked together and can’t recall a single time he ever saw anything other than white walls. There’s nothing on your wall except the mirror you’re standing in front of.

“What the hell just happened, Y/N?”

You turn to look at him and Sunghoon feels as if you’re trying to tell him something. He’s never seen you look like this before, so hard and controlling. He’s used to your soft laughter and easy eyes, not the sharp daggers in your irises.

“There are very bad people in the world,” you tell him cryptically. “You need to learn how to be more careful with things that aren’t yours.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

You turn around and look at Sunghoon, averting your eyes to the mess around you both. He follows your line of sight and hears as you curse underneath your breath. The curtains that have been pulled back flutter in the wind as it starts to pick up, and suddenly the apartment starts to feel much colder because of it. While Sunghoon is visibly panicking, he’s confused as to why you aren’t.

“I’m sorry, Sunghoon, but for me to tell you that, I’m going to need you to leave with me.”

“Leave with you?” he asks, stepping away from the glass shards. “What are you talking about? Why do we need to leave?”

“Because of that.” You point at the broken window. “Whoever that was will come back and finish the job if you’re not careful. If you want to live, you need to do as I say.”

“Y/N, I know we’ve been neighbors for a few months, but you’re asking me to blindly trust you after someone tried to kill me.”

“He tried to kill us, actually,” you correct. “But I see your point. Don’t leave because you trust me, then. Leave because he knows who you are and where you live, and won’t hesitate to come back.”

Sunghoon gulps. “He’s gonna come back?” You tilt your head and look at him in a way that makes him believe you can sense his confusion. You don’t step closer to him with the fear that he’d attempt to pass through you to get into the safety of his apartment. Instead, you take a deep breath.

“I’m asking you to value your life and keep living,” you say. “I saved you, Sunghoon. I’m not trying to hurt you.”

“I can’t believe this.” He shakes his head and looks away, averting his gaze to the broken window. “I can’t believe someone broke into your apartment and tried to fucking kill you. At least have the decency to act scared.”

“I’m petrified.” Sunghoon’s eyes are back on you when he hears the upstick in your voice. “But things don’t surprise you when they happen often.”

The apartment is quiet, save for the soft hum of the wind from outside and the tree branches knocking against the window frame. Sunghoon still feels like his ears are ringing and that his veins are pumping with adrenaline as he looks at you with a pained and confused expression. If you’re someone who’s had to fight men twice your size to survive, he doesn’t want to know what would happen to him if he chose to stay behind. He also doesn’t want to think about how your life likely did depend on it at one point or another.

The crush he’s harbored for you since he first saw you move in makes this whole ordeal that much more confusing. To the untrained eye, you look incapable of jumping into a fist fight nor do you look strong enough to pry a grown man off of another person. The idea of you in his head is unlike the person he sees standing before him. To Sunghoon, you are someone who likes to walk on the slow path, letting life take you wherever it sees fit. He thinks of you as a quiet, unassuming individual who accepted that, like himself, the kind of quiet life you were living was one you’d live for the rest of your life.

But he’s scared out of his mind when he sees the bruise setting on your face and the way your lips are swelling up. He watches you look around the room before heading into your bedroom, and he wonders what you must be looking for.

Your bedroom is just as bare and desolate as your living space. A single twin bed faces the door and a small nightstand with an equally small lamp sits beside it. There’s a book in one of the hollow spaces and your closet area is small, tucked away behind a door mirror that serves to cover your hanging clothes. You have nothing on your wall. No photo, no artwork, nothing that could tell Sunghoon anything about you. Sunghoon gets a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Y/N,” he pleads, voice cracking when he speaks. “What’s going on?”

You just look at him. “I’m sorry, Sunghoon.”

“Sorry? Why are you sorry? What’s there anything to be sorry about? Someone broke into your apartment and then tried to kill us.”

Your posture sinks as the weight of reality overcomes your perception. Sunghoon watches as you hold yourself back and averts his eyes when he assumes you’re about to cry to be polite. His heart lurches in his chest and he feels like he might cry too.

“I really need you to trust me.” You sound helpless and he wonders if you feel that way too. “I would never ask you to do something if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. Your life is in danger, Sunghoon. I don’t want to see you die.”

“Woo says I’m going to die?” he asks. Why should I trust you? Who the fuck are you and how do you know how to fight like that?”

“You need to trust me because there is no one who can protect you from what you witnessed and I’m somebody who can protect you if this happens again.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“That’s the only answer I can give right now.”

Sunghoon sighs. “You’re asking a lot of me, Y/N.”

“Fine.”

Sunghoon watches you pull a backpack from your closet and haphazardly throw in shirts, undergarments, and other items into it. It’s when you pull the vent cover from the wall that Sunghoon starts to panic. You pull out a large ziplock bag with stacks of cash and other items he assumes are credit cards and passports. When you pull a gun from your nightstand and push into your backpack, you look at him.

“You can stay. But know that I will not come back should anything happen to you or the people you care about.” He doesn’t know if this is a threat or not. But his heart is beating erratically and the thought of being without your help doesn’t make him feel better.

He doesn’t want to go. He wants to retreat back to his apartment and pretend this never happened. Sunghoon wishes he would’ve ignored that gut feeling in his stomach to check if you were okay and live his life blissfully unaware of what life you must live to attract people who are out to kill you. But thinking like this makes Sunghoon feel guilty because despite your unusual talent for warding off men twice your size and height, he would be damned if something serious happened to you.

Even so, leaving his life behind feels unfair. The idea of leaving his friend and family behind makes his stomach churn. Will he ever be able to see his friends again? What about his mother, father, and sister? What of them? Will they have to wonder where their son is and deal with the aftermath of not knowing that Sunghoon’s gone missing, let alone why? Sunghoon can’t think of the last time he talked to his family on the phone. His poor sister, too, will have to continue growing up without a brother to protect her.

But none of that matters if what you say is true. Even if Sunghoon chose not to follow you and remain as clueless about your life as he does now, the chance that he’ll be safe doesn’t seem like a risk worth taking. The strange man still knows where he lives and what he looks like. If what you claim is true, then this man will eventually find Sunghoon and kill him. Whatever “bad” means to you must really be bad if someone was aiming to murder you.

“Okay,” he says with a trembling voice. “I’ll go with you.”

“You’re making the right decision,” you explain with your arms gesturing to the space around you. “The life you have…whatever it means to you, it will never be the same. There is a very bad man who works for someone equally worse. They’ll always find you.”

“I understand, I think.”

“It’s a lot to ask of you. I know,” you nod. “That man knows what you look like now and will be able to find you no matter where you go.”

“So that’s it? I just leave?”

“Well, you’ll need to do some packing first. Do you have a backpack?”

“I have one I travel with, yes,” Sunghoon says.

“Good. Let me gather some things and then we’ll head to your place so you can pack.”

As you continue gathering last minute belongings, Sunghoon takes the time to comprehend just how strange this situation is. Why is your apartment so empty? It looks as if no one is supposed to live here, like this space is just temporary. It barely looks like a functioning living space. How do you entertain yourself? If you’re able to afford living in this apartment, how come you don’t have any furniture to fill the space? And what about decorations? Why don’t you have any photos of yourself, your friends, or your family hung up on the walls?

The harder he thinks, the more his headache returns. You live in isolation to the point where he starts to question everything he knows about you. All of your belongings could fit into the backpack you’re carrying and he wonders if this familiar experience is something you’re running away from.

Sunghoon can only stare in utter shock as you pull out a plastic bag filled with things he's only seen in movies. More passports, more cash, more credit cards, and what he assumes to be more fake driver’s licenses. Your supply seems endless. Underneath your sink contains knives stashed away in protective bags that you shove into the backpack with one tucked behind you. The way you touch these weapons without flinching scares him.

He knows he shouldn’t be naive to find normalcy in your actions, even if you look eerily calm and composed.

“So this is it?” Sunghoon asks when you walk past him, following you to the living room.

“Mhm,” you mumble, looking at your broken window. He watches as you sigh before you turn all of the lights off and lock the door behind you.

Walking into the well-lit hallway feels weird. It’s too normal.

“What should I bring and how much of everything?” he asks after he’s let the both of you inside of his apartment.

“You’ll want to change out of your clothes and get into something more comfortable,” you say, gesturing at his work attire. “Wear comfortable running shoes. Bring as many shirts, pants, and underwear as your backpack can fit. Make sure to bring a toothbrush and toothpaste, too. Bring only one jacket. You won’t need more than one. You have fifteen minutes. I’ll wait in the living room.”

Sunghoon watches your figure disappear down the hall and gets to work immediately, changing out of his suit and into comfortable pants and a t-shirt. He doesn’t bother putting away his suit jacket and slacks. Sunghoon shoves what he assumes to be necessities into his backpack and rummages in his bathroom for things he’ll need until the two of you need to stop to buy the essentials. He feels like he’s got tunnel vision, focusing on the task at hand to prevent himself from losing his mind over the situation he’s found himself in.

But a photo on his nightstand stops him in his tracks.

It’s a picture of his family and the first time Jay and Jake made the trip to his hometown after graduating college. They’d embarked on a road trip and spent some time in his parents’ house before the week-long adventure of exploring the nearby area before the reality of work and responsibilities sunk in. His father had Sunghoon set up a self timer photo to commemorate the bond between his friends and adulthood before his career would eventually begin in the fall. Sunghoon and his friends sat on the picnic table with their bodies facing the camera as his parents stood around him. His sister held up a peace sign next to Sunghoon. The memory feels distant.

Sunghoon puts the photo down and makes his way back to the living room eventually, forcing himself not to pick up anything that isn’t a necessity. He puts his wallet on the coffee table and you turn around to see his backpack in his hand while he witnesses you looking at the decor on his wall.

“You have a nice apartment.”

“Thanks.”

You pick up his wallet. “Do you have your birth certificate on you? Maybe a passport or any other identification?”

“Just my passport.” Sunghoon runs back into his room to grab it before handing it to you, then pointing at his computer on the couch. “And my laptop.”

“We’ll need to bring both of those.”

“What for?”

You give him a look that gives him a bad feeling. “We’ll need to destroy them as soon as we can. I can’t have them finding you that easily.”

Sunghoon sighs and grabs his computer. “If it’s for the best.”

“I wouldn’t ask this of you if it weren’t necessary. I’m sorry, I really am.”

Sunghoon thinks he hears your voice waver. Choosing to forego any more pleasantries, you allow him to lock his door before beckoning him to give you his keys.

“I assume we need to get rid of these?”

“You’re catching on pretty quick,” you say. “We’ll bury these somewhere far from here so no one can find them.”

“I think the adrenaline is getting to me.”

You look around his room. “Where’s the thumb drive that your boss gave you?”

Sunghoon looks at you quizzically. “What?”

“The thumb drive with financial records on it. Where is it?”

“In my bedroom. Why are you asking about it?”

“Bring it with you.” You push Sunghoon back to his room with a little more force than he expected. He stumbles over himself and pulls it out his desk drawer.

“Why is this so important? Why were you asking about it when you were here?”

“There’s no time to explain right now, but we need to bring it with us and keep it safe. It’s best if I hold onto it.” He’s skeptical. You sigh when you see his expression change into something unpleasant. “Sunghoon, I’m being completely honest with you when I say both of our lives depend on what’s on that thumb drive. If this disappears or if it’s destroyed, we’re both dead.”

He hesitates but hands you the thumb drive away. Sunghoon looks around his apartment once more, memorizing the sight of the coffee mug on the counter he neglected to wash because he was rushing and the remote that he’d thrown haphazardly on the couch the night before. All of this makes him want to cry. The thought of never returning makes him feel like throwing up.

You lead him out of the building and lock his door with the keys before pocketing them in your pants. He follows you down the stairs to avoid the elevator and assumes you’re leading him down the back route where you don’t have to run into the doorman, who will likely strike a conversation with the both of you and find it odd that you’re rushing out of the building at this hour.

“You’re scaring me with how much you know about what we need to do next,” Sunghoon comments.

“It comes with the job description,” you explain vaguely. “I was trained to think quickly in these types of situations and what to do if someone tries to kill you in your own home.”

“Trained?”

Sunghoon chokes as he looks at you but you’re too busy looking elsewhere to see the shock on his face. It feels like he’s sucking in his breath before you finally turn to look at him.

“Let’s find a secure place before we talk.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

The two of you avoid taking the metro. When Sunghoon asks why, you tell him it’s best to keep yourselves from any places that are under heavy surveillance to avoid being tracked. It’s best to keep yourself out of the public eye as much as possible.

The stillness of the night doesn’t match his erratic heartbeat as he walks through familiar streets that no longer feel like home to him. Every light post feels like there might be someone hiding behind it and every quiet neighborhood makes him feel out of place. Sunghoon wills himself to be calm like you are, but he can’t stop himself from replaying the events of earlier that night in his head.

Who are you? Why do you know so much about being on the run? What kind of life do you live that forces you to be somebody who looks over their shoulder?

Sunghoon wonders if this is what he’ll have to deal with for the rest of his life. He isn’t sure whether he can trust you the way you say he can, but he figures it would be better to take his chances with you and die trying instead of waiting for someone to come and kill him. Even if he has to leave everything he loves behind.

The two of you don’t walk for very long. Dodging metro lines and public transportation feels like the journey takes forever, but you tell him you’ve only walked for roughly an hour and a half in dead silence. Sunghoon doesn’t dare ask a single question for the fear that you might abandon him.

Soon after you lead him out of your shared neighborhood, Sunghoon finds himself in a small hostel just on the edge of Seoul with two twin beds across from one another and a small bathroom. He watches as you pay in cash and accept the key to the room from the desk employee without so much as a word. The space isn’t the luxury apartment he’d found himself living in for the past three years, but it’s better than sleeping with one eye open in his own bed where anything could happen. The twin mattress is decent enough but he feels like a giant when he lays down after setting aside his belongings.

You don’t unpack your bag or relax like he thinks you will. Instead, you double check to ensure the door is locked and immediately check the bathroom and living area from top to top, corner to corner. Sunghoon watches you pull a nightstand from the corner. He nearly yelps when you dare step on the small, unsteady piece of furniture.

“What are you doing?” Sunghoon asks, sitting up on the bed.

“Checking for any potential listening devices,” you say as you pay him no mind, hand touching the small crevice near the window sill. “I highly doubt it, but you can never be too careful.”

“You mean bugs? Like those things from the movies?”

You hum. “Yeah, those are the ones. I need to assess the room before we can talk freely.”

“Oh. I didn’t think people used those in real life.”

“People do, unfortunately. You have to look at every inch of the room from floor to ceiling. Check the lights, the phone, the back of any objects like picture frames or wall decor, even underneath the toilet seat. Anything you can reach by hand, so can they.”

Even though Sunghoon doesn’t know the first thing about you, it feels odd to see you like this. You always look somewhere in between disheveled and put together, but the version he's staring at looks nothing like what he’s used to.

Sunghoon is a man of few words hidden behind a million thoughts. He reserves himself for people he feels comfortable around to play it safe, unleashing his loud and extroverted tendencies when he becomes well-acquainted with certain people. Despite uttering a few sentences to you throughout the time you’ve moved next door, Sunghoon has daydreamed about you plenty.

When Sunghoon closes his eyes, he swears he can see himself asking you on a date. He can picture you saying yes and wearing an outfit that will make his jaw drop until you become bashful under his stare. He imagines getting to know you well enough that when he drops you off at your apartment door, where the two of you become too reluctant to say goodbye until the evening ends with a kiss. His favorite scenario, though, is picturing you sleeping on his chest. His pillows can only help so much.

Sunghoon can’t pinpoint just why he was so fascinated by you. With a single glance, you turned his world upside down and he thinks he’ll never feel anything like that ever again.

Deep down, Sunghoon assumes part of his thoughts about you is because you’re a disruption in his mundane, boring life that feels like an endless loop. There was nothing for him to look forward to once his life and career became monotonous. But somehow, your honey-like voice and warm smile intrigued him. You’re an enigma he can’t quite seem to understand. It entices him to unravel who you are and what you could mean to him.

But none of that matters now. Watching you search the perimeter of the room for listening devices is enough to pull Sunghoon’s head out of the clouds.

“Oh God,” Sunghoon exclaims in a panic, as if the thought of his reality crashes down on him all at once. “My job. What the fuck am I gonna do about my job? My boss will report me missing if I don’t show up two days in a row. Fuck, what do I do?”

“There’s nothing you can do now,” you tell him. “Going back will only increase the risk of getting hurt. Don’t you understand that?”

“I can’t just leave my fucking job. I’m responsible for training entry level interns. I have so many unfinished reports due at the end of the week. Fuck! What if they call the police because I haven't shown up?

You sit next to him. “I understand this is a stressful situation, but your life can never go back to the way it was and we have to roll with the punches as they come. If everything goes according to plan, we’ll be too far from Seoul for anyone to find us.” Sunghoon swears he hears a bit of melancholy in your tone. “I’m very sorry:

Somehow, he believes you. “It’s okay. It’s not technically your fault.”

You don’t meet his eyes.

“This room is clean, by the way. No audio or video devices.”

“That’s probably the only good news from today.”

“We should probably talk about the next steps,” you tell him as you rise from his bed. “We’ll need to get some rest tonight. The hardest part about survival is the first few days and mapping out where we need to go next.”

“So where do we go?”

Your shoulders sag. “There might be somebody who can help us. It’s a long shot…but I think if we’re able to reach Jinju in the next few days, then we might be on the right track.”

“Jinju? Why Jinjiu?”

“I have a friend there who might be willing to help us.”

“So why don’t we call them and see if we can crash in the meantime?”

You shake your head. “It’s not as simple as you make it seem.”

“I’m struggling to keep up.” With pursed lips, you sit on your own bed and face Sunghoon. He watches you tuck your legs underneath yourself until you’re sitting criss-crossed and look down at your lap where you play with your fingers.

“There are people out there who do bad things for a living,” you say. “Really bad things. Worse than whatever imagination your mind can conjure up.”

Sunghoon’s heart palpitates. “Like what?” You look up at him.

“Like carrying out a hit.”

His stomach plummets.

“Y-You mean to tell me someone was trying to kill you? What for? What sensible reason does anyone have to kill an innocent person?”

You go back to playing with your fingers. He watches you look at him before biting your cheek and looking at the floor. “There are things in this world many people will never know. Few find out and live to tell the tale. I’m telling you this because I need you to understand me when I tell you things are getting serious, not because I’m trying to hide things from you.”

“Can you at least explain to me what the fuck is going on? Everything you say is cryptic and I know you’re not telling me the whole truth.”

“There’s a time and place for everything. I promise I’ll tell you everything. You deserve that at the least.”

“You owe me more than that.”

“I know, Sunghoon. Believe me, I do. But right now your adrenaline is wearing off and neither of us are thinking straight.”

“This is crazy,” he says. “I go to work and come home just to do it over again the next day. I barely have a social life and don’t go out on the weekends as much as my friends want me to. I’m just a normal guy living a normal life. Then, you showed up.”

Ultimately, Sunghoon knows you’re right. The bright lights of the hostel are suddenly too bright in his vision and they aren’t helping his headache. The mattress he’s sitting on top of suddenly feels too uncomfortable and sharp with the metal springs and rods beneath him. His body is calming down as his breathing returns to a normal rate and his eyes begin to feel heavy.

He looks at you and finds that you can’t meet his eye. Sunghoon immediately regrets his words and imagines what it must be like for you to carry the weight of knowing someone tried to kill you, coupled with the fact that you have to babysit somebody who has no idea how to fend for his life. Awkwardly, Sunghoon rises from his mattress and mutters about how he’s going to get ready for bed.

He splashes cold water onto his face to calm his face from the rushing heat creeping up his neck. Sunghoon doesn’t know what to think or how to feel. His bones are starting to feel heavy and his mind is telling him to go back home and pretend everything’s fine. He wants to be wrapped up in a blanket his sister got him for Christmas watching reruns of American television he can barely understand.

But his gut is telling him to stay with you. He can’t delude himself into thinking his life can go back to the way it was after everything that unfolded. He very well could remain looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life without someone who’s knowledgeable about this side of life. He can’t imagine leaving you without somebody to protect you, even if you seem like you can handle yourself. The least he could do is listen to your orders and follow your instructions until the both of you can live your lives without the fear of imminent danger. These thoughts haunt him as he washes his face and brushes his teeth.

When he emerges from the bathroom, he notices that you’ve changed into sleeping attire and tries to avoid looking at your bare legs when it registers that you’re wearing sleep shorts and a sweater. He feels somewhat remorseful of what could have been if the two of you get to know each other under different circumstances. You brush past him into the bathroom and he can hear the sound of the faucet running when you close the door.

Everything seems too calm compared to the few hours he spent with you. His ears are no longer ringing and his heartbeat isn’t beating as erratically as before. This is the first time that Sunghoon’s had a few minutes by himself where nothing distracts him from his thoughts. He’s too exhausted to push them away.

Soon, the two of you are tucked in your respective beds with the moonlight from the window illuminating the shared space. It’s bright enough for Sunghoon to see your figure laying still and facing the wall. You look so meek like this and he wonders how anyone could ever hurt you. He wants to say something, to apologize or thank you for caring about him.

“I can’t say I’m too sad about leaving my job,” he blurts out. Sunghoon’s about to chastise himself for saying something opposite of what he intended until he hears your bed creaking and looks over to see that you’ve turned to face him.

“Why’s that?”

Sunghoon crashes.

“I’m not happy. I feel like I’m working for nothing and I hate the life I have. People always need me for things and I never get any recognition for the work I do to save everybody’s asses.”

“You sound like you’ve given it a lot of thought.”

Sunghoon stares at the ceiling. “I haven’t been happy with my life in a long time. My friends tell me I keep fooling myself into thinking I have it all because my job pays well and I live by myself. Total autonomy.”

“But your job keeps you from that freedom.”

“Yes,” Sunghoon says, exasperated. “It feels like I’m living on someone else’s dime. Everything I do at my job is to make people happy because they tell me what to do. It doesn’t matter if I have my own principles. If it doesn’t align with the people who hire me to do my job, my voice doesn’t matter.” You don’t say anything for a moment but Sunghoon’s too caught up in his own thoughts to think about it.

“I can’t believe I just admitted that out loud.”

“Sometimes it takes a stranger to say what you really feel.”

Sunghoon turns to look at you. “You were always the most unpredictable part of my day.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. You moved into the apartment next to mine and running into you a few times a week kept me on my toes. I don’t know. I guess I saw you as someone I would have potentially befriended. I could at least pretend I was coming home to talk to someone who cared.”

“That’s…very sweet. You’re a nice person, Sunghoon.”

He sighs. “I don’t feel that way. I don’t know when I’m gonna see my family and friends again and explain all of this, but I'm starting to get the feeling that they’ll never hear from me and they’ll never know what happened tonight.”

“You know,” you begin, “a lot of my life was spent moving from place to place and never having anything or anyone to call home. I can’t imagine what it must feel like for you to leave everything behind. For that, I truly am sorry.”

“It’s really not your fault,” Sunghoon says dryly. “Whoever tried to kill you should get a bullet to his head.” He hears you laugh awkwardly.

“Yeah, well that likely wouldn’t solve our problems.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think that man acted on his own accord. It’s too professional to assume he’s working alone.”

“You’re saying he’s working with someone else?”

“Or, he’s working for someone.”

Sunghoon gulps. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“The price of freedom is high. Remember that.”

“You know, none of this explains how you know what you’re doing. If you know, for that matter.”

He doesn’t hear you move for a short while and closes his eyes shut. Once again, he’s found himself slipping up and saying things that don't translate well. Too afraid to speak, Sunghoon considers sleeping and dealing with his actions in the morning.

“I know what I’m doing because I’ve done it before,” you say through the darkness. “When your whole life revolves around survival, you adapt to the best of your ability and do anything to stay alive. I’ve learned a few things from my time on the run so please know that I know what I’m doing.”

“Who are you?”

The room is silent.

“Someone you can trust.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Sunghoon’s surprised when you wake him up as the sun rises to vacate the premises. He gets dressed as quickly as he can and he knows you can hear him yawning as he prepares himself for the day ahead of him. After freshening up and a quick breakfast consisting of leftovers from yesterday’s convenience store run, the two of you return the hostel key and leave as quickly as you came.

Sunghoon watches as you destroy his phone and laptop, which ultimately makes his soul wince at his personal items deemed unworthy and unsafe. It makes him feel like this new lifestyle is set in stone and the physical burial of his worldly possessions feels like he’s burying his normalcy and trading it in for life on the run. You bury it in a plot of land somewhere and let him mourn before he’s ready to pack it up and leave.

The two of you travel on foot again, stopping by another convenience store to grab more water and food for later. The sun isn’t as warm as it was the day prior and Sunghoon’s grateful that he doesn't have to walk under the sweltering heat with all he’s carrying on his shoulders. He doesn’t know where the two of you are headed and prevents himself from asking more unnecessary questions because he’s met with a wall whenever he speaks about the next steps. In the hours he spends with you, he realizes that you barely know what’s to come.

Eventually, the two of you have found refuge at another hostel, miles away from the first one. Sunghoon doesn’t understand the method to your madness. He’s tried to make small conversation and ask you about your expertise, but you shut him down every time. You keep saying that “now” isn’t the right time to explain things to him because you’re too wrapped up in making sure you both manage to live until the next day. He’s starting to think you're not the person he once imagined you to be.

Sunghoon tries his hand at scaling the hostel for any listening devices at your suggestion. He follows you and watches as you inspect the bathroom–behind the toilet bowl, inside of it, in the shower drain, and behind the medicine cabinet–before he takes a stab at the living area. He feels awkward when you watch him but follows your pointers when you notice that he neglected a few spots.

One thing he realizes about being on the run is that sometimes, it’s very slow and extremely boring. With no phone or laptop to keep himself company, Sunghoon wishes he remembered to pack a book or two before leaving his apartment for good.

Realistically, you tell him it’s better to get as far away from the origin point as possible in the shortest amount of time. To pass the time, Sunghoon asks you questions he thinks are silly, ones that he’s seen movie characters from spy thrillers ask their partners.

Can we call anyone for help? No.

How about taking the bus instead of walking? No.

Is there anyone who can help us get into another country safely and quickly? Probably not.

It seems like you’ve been leaving Sunghoon with more questions than answers. You leave him in the dark, pondering on his own as you try to come up with a plan and he does his best to be patient with you because he can’t imagine having to care for someone who has no idea how to keep himself alive. Sunghoon daydreams about who you must’ve been in order for someone to attempt to kill you when the two of you are traveling. It keeps him occupied and what prevents him from complaining about walking too much.

Sunghoon pictures you as someone who knows a little too much. Perhaps you stumbled upon a classified piece of information or made a shady deal with bad people in your past life and moved to Seoul to escape. Maybe that’s why you know so much about being on the run.

He also thinks you might be some sort of spy dabbling in espionage, and the man who assaulted you is someone who works for your arch nemesis. This idea seems silly because it reminds him of a k-drama his sister used to obsess over but he can’t lie when he thinks about how this theory might be the only one that makes sense.

Even so, Sunghoon comes to the realization that you are truly, utterly alone.

He wonders if you have any friends or family that you had to leave behind. You know so much about him because he’s been open about his feelings after the startling realization that his life is something he will never return to. But you’ve kept quiet about who you are up until the point where you moved into the apartment next to his. So caught up in his own miseries, Sunghoon neglected to consider that you would have to leave people behind as well. Do you have loved ones in Seoul? Do you get drinks with your colleagues after work? Is there anyone who would notice you missing?

He falls asleep with these questions ruminating in his own head.

The next time Sunghoon opens his eyes, he’s not surprised to find you already packing. Like clockwork, the two of you set out on foot again and walk for miles under the sun until you’re farther away from Seoul. There’s a small noodle shop by the newest hostel and he’s more than shocked when you ask if he’s up for eating dinner there.

The two of you wear masks and a cap to conceal your identities to the best of your abilities. Sunghoon lets you pay for the noodles upon realizing his own wallet is buried in a plot of land somewhere. The money you have was a stash for a rainy day and he’s wondering when it’ll run out.

“It’s crazy that you think about this stuff,” he says as the waitress hands off his noodles. “I still don’t understand why you insisted on picking this table.” You nudge your head to the window.

“Being visible from the outside means bad business. Anyone can see in the window and spot you if the lighting is good enough. I chose this table because it’s concealed the most and closest to the door in case we need to make a run for it.”

“So what, do we just leave without paying if someone comes in and tries to kill us?”

You shrug. “Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

“That’s so unethical,” Sunghoon huffs in disbelief.

You laugh into your spoon. “Well that’s the life we have to live now. You learn to put aside your conscience and morals when trying to survive. Neglecting to pay for a meal is a small act of ungratefulness compared to saving your own life.”

“I don’t even want to ask how many times you’ve had to do that.”

He watches you lament. “I’ve been living like this for a long time, Sunghoon. That's all I know. I can’t afford to think about the what ifs because the future happens quicker than you expect it to. Knowing I get to sleep at the end of the day is the goal, but then I have to worry about what’ll happen when I open my eyes.

“Becoming your neighbor was my first taste of normalcy, in a sense. I still slept with a gun under my pillow and kept my door bolted shut with a cane underneath the handle. Every room in my apartment had a weapon in it should I ever need it.”

Sunghoon winces. “I’m sorry it came to that.”

“Me too,” you say, sipping from your spoon. “But that’s my life.”

“If you hate it so much, why did you choose it?”

You look at him. “I didn’t.”

“I assume this is a story for another time.”

“You’re assuming correctly.”

Sunghoon watches you slurp on your noodles. The soup is splashing inside the bowl and the steam is burning your tongue but you push through it, forcing yourself to chew and suck cool air into your mouth. You seem normal like this and Sunghoon’s heart softens when he thinks about what life would be like if the two of you weren’t on the run.

“Tell me about yourself.”

Sunghoon’s taken aback by your sudden question. “Myself?”

You nod. “Who are you, Sunghoon?”

It’s a loaded question and one he wasn’t expecting to hear from you. You’ve seldom made conversation in the couple of days since you two have been together, only asking him about the necessary things as they come up. Sunghoon’s the one who initiates small talk and shares what he’s thinking with you when the conversation falls flat. He’s learned to be okay with your silence.

Hearing you ask him such a question sends him into deep thought. For a moment, Sunghoon imagines that the two of you are on a first date. He pretends you both agree to forego the fanciness of a five-star restaurant in favor of dressing comfortably and having no expectations other than good food and good company.

You look so innocent in this light, so far removed from a world of danger that Sunghoon nearly deludes himself into thinking this fantasy of his is real. Your cheeks are full of noodles and your body is hunched over the bowl like any normal person would be. He pulls himself back before he could mourn his past.

“I don’t really know where to begin. I have two parents, a mother and father, and a younger sister. I grew up in Suwon until I moved to Seoul for university. I hate my job and I really want to open a coffee shop one day.”

“Why a coffee shop?”

“It’s the exact opposite of my life right now,” Sunghoon explains. “I won’t hear telephones ringing or be pulled into budgetary meetings for clients every second of the day. I’ll work for myself. I won’t have to stay later than I want to and I can talk to real people who I’ll actually give a shit about.”

“That sounds like a really nice dream.”

“I’d probably call it ‘Soul Coffee’ because maybe I’ll have a soul by then,” he says with a short laugh. “I think I’d be happy waking up to work in a place like that instead of in finance. It feels like I’m living the same day over and over again. There’s no variety in my life because everyone expects you to stay later than the typical workday. It’s a shark-eat-shark world there. I’m sick of it. I’m tired of pretending to care about our morally-grey clients. Nothing about it feels…me.”

“Listening to commands is tiring, don’t you think?”

He sighs, exasperated. “You’ve read my mind. It’s like I’m a cog in a machine. I serve to benefit high society and make the rich, richer. There’s no morality in what I do. I have to look at the numbers I see pile across my desk everyday and pretend they mean nothing to me. If I start to think about how much money is being used to do ungodly things, I start to lose my mind.

“None of my clients and colleagues seem to care about anyone but themselves. They compete with each other to see who can make it out on top the fastest without caring about who they hurt. It’s like they’ve lost their humanity.”

“Survival of the fittest is everybody’s weakness. When the consequence of falling behind is termination, that alone can make people do things against their own will.”

“They all seem like they’re running on autopilot, like they’re so used to it that they’re numb.” Sunghoon shakes his head. “I always thought I’d do something more creative with my life like photography, or something. I wasn’t too half bad at painting. I considered majoring in fine art but coming home for winter break was enough for me to reconsider that.”

“Why’s that?”

“My father's well connected in finance. He’s respectable and has set a lot of expectations for me. He wouldn’t hear it when I told him I wanted to be a photography major. He said it was nothing compared to having a stable job that you can depend on. It shattered my wellbeing and I knew there was no chance I could ever convince him otherwise.

“Living under your parents’ expectations is difficult. I have a younger sister who’s starting college soon and she wants to become a professional dancer. I can only imagine the conversations she must be having with our parents now. But I guess it’s all for the best, right? I have a good job that pays decently and a roof over my head. I can’t complain, really.”

“You can still mourn the life you could’ve had,” you tell him. “Just because you chose one path, that doesn’t mean you can’t be sad about a future that never was.”

His eyes flicker to you when he hears an uptick in your voice. You look back with a melancholy gaze that's hard for Sunghoon to figure out. He watches as you divert your eyes from him when silence has passed and he thinks that’s peculiar.

“I guess so.”

The two of you finish your meal without a word spoken. He’s done eating just a minute quicker than you do, and patiently waits until you’ve discarded your utensils into the bowl in front of you. Sunghoon wonders if what he said must have made you uncomfortable, but the voice in his head is telling him you know more about what he’s feeling than you let on.

With your expertise about being on the run and evading assailants, Sunghoon truly begins to wonder what your life must have been like prior to moving next to him.

You break the silence.

“You’re a very resilient person, Sunghoon. I think your friends and family are very lucky to have you.”

Sunghoon is speechless.

“T-Thank you. I hope I can get to know you well enough to say nice things about you too.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

The two of you decide to make a trip to the only convenience store in town before heading back despite it being farther away from the current hostel. It’s dark outside and even Sunghoon is starting to feel spooked when walking through the dead of night, distant lamp posts illuminating the night sky. He can’t tell what you’re thinking either. Most times, you wear the same expression and remain stoic until it’s time to go to sleep. It’s then Sunghoon can truly see just how tired you are. He wishes he could spearhead the planning to give you some time to rest.

He learns that you’re resilient too. You push your body to its physical maximum. You’re able to think ahead and prepare everything you need before your head hits the pillow because the next day is never promised. Sunghoon, too, starts to push himself towards his breaking point and only thinks of surviving.

Sunghoon catches you yawning as you shuffle items into the basket. He offers to hold it for you and picks out items he’s seen you purchase before. The cashier bids you farewell once the tab has been paid. The two of you make the trek back to the hostel under dimly lit lights in the middle of nowhere when you push Sunghoon forward until his face meets the ground below him.

Already, the sound of a bullet piercing the air interrupts the tranquil atmosphere of the environment. He looks up to see a man inside of a car aiming his gun in his direction and covers your body with his when he realizes the armed stranger is about to take another shot. Sunghoon’s heart rate quickens when the bullet casings fall to the ground beside him. You clutch onto him until you’re able to find leverage and push him off of you to a spot you deem safe enough.

There’s a single driver; no designated person as a gunman sitting shotgun and you’re sure this is an inexperienced soldier who’s out for blood. If not for the reckless aim, then for the insults he shouts at you when the bullets hit everything but you and Sunghoon.

Sunghoon reckons your body is a mixture of adrenaline and strategy from your years of experience. It’s almost as though you move on autopilot and maneuver your way to the safest vantage point. He, on the other hand, is the polar opposite. He’s frozen in his spot and his body feels heavier than it is when you try to pull him to safety. Because of this, the last bullet from the gunman’s device ricochets off of a hard surface behind you and a small fragment of it becomes lodged in your arm.

You yell in pain and clutch yourself when the metal touches your skin. When the gunman realizes his ammo is depleted, he swerves the car until his headlights blind you. Without a moment’s notice, you grab onto Sunghoon’s sleeve and pull him along with you, running until you see a crevice that’s small enough to fit the two of you.

You run and run, ducking behind buildings and keeping Sunghoon close to you as you take cover behind dumpsters and other large objects that could shield you from the gunman’s vehicle. Your arm is in immense pain and you can feel your blood start to trickle out of your wound and down your elbow.

When the gunman ceases his attempts to run after the two of you, you exhale.

You check to see if the coast is clear and slide down the hard wall behind you until you’re perched upright when you deem it safe enough. The jacket you’re wearing does nothing to shield your arm from the bullet fragment and your skin looks like a bloody massacre when you take it off.

Sunghoon can only stare at the wound. He’s at a loss for words when he sees your face contort in pain as your head hits the brick wall behind you. The tears pricking at your eyes damage his psyche and he feels utterly helpless.

He watches you rummage through your backpack and tear off a portion of an unused shirt and as you wrap it around your arm. The blood’s soaking through the grey fabric and it causes him to panic. You aren’t screaming the way Sunghoon wants to. It scares him half to death.

“Direct pressure on the wound cuts off the blood supply,” you tell him with a huff. He wants to help, but the sight of your blood dripping down your arm and onto the pavement below makes his feet stay planted where they are. Sungoon watches as you pull it tight with your teeth and secure it to the best of your ability.

“Blood,” Sunghoon stutters. “There’s so much blood. We need to get you to a hospital.”

“No,” you immediately refute. “No hospitals. Going to a medical center means I’m documented, Sunghoon. They have to take my name and identification. Maybe yours too. We can’t risk going somewhere with security feeds to avoid being caught.”

“So what do you propose we do, then? You’re fucking bleeding because you got shot!”

“It’s just a graze wound,” you say through your teeth. “It hurts like hell, but I’ll be fine.”

“Where do we go from here?” Sunghoon asks.

“Back to your apartment.”

“But you said it’s dangerous if we go back.”

“It’s less dangerous than going back to our hostel or finding a new one. People who see my arm are going to call the cops and going to a medical center is out of the question. I just need a safe place to fix myself.”

Sunghoon knows better than to suggest hailing a taxi or using the metro to get back to his apartment. He pushes all morals aside when you instruct him how to hotwire a car from the street when he sees your bloody arm. When he successfully gets the engine to run, you climb into the passenger seat and he’s off retracing his steps to take him back to his apartment as best as he can.

You try to stay awake. It hurts Sunghoon to hear you gasping in pain with your high-pitched cries when he hits a road bump. From the corner of his eye, he can see you biting your lip to keep your tears at bay as best as you cany. Your head rests against the car door as you watch the lights pass by you and he wonders what you’re thinking right now. For all of your reassurance that this is a normal part of your life, Sunghoon wishes it wasn’t.

Eventually, Sunghoon finds his way back towards Seoul. As he approaches his former neighborhood, he can’t help but feel displaced. It’s odd to see familiar streets and department stores he frequents after making peace with the fact that he’ll likely never return. The lights that keep each billboard sign on feels foreign after spending days looking at wastelands. Sunghoon never imagined that he’d get the chance to see his old haunts. Not in this lifetime, anyway.

It’s the dead of night and the lights surrounding the apartment are dimmer than usual. He’s grateful, in a way, because it means you two can get into the building from the back without being detected. Sunghoon leads you up the stairs, leading you by the sleeve of his jacket that he’s letting you wear. It’s soaked with your blood and you’ve had to use the fabric to prevent any more bleeding. He avoids looking at it, hating that you’re in so much pain and that you don’t even show it.

“Hang on,” Sunghoon says when the two of you approach the door. Your face is growing weaker but he can hear voices coming from inside the room. “I hear someone inside.”

They’re just loud enough for Sunghoon to recognize them.

“Shit,” he mutters. “My friends are inside.”

“Doesn’t matter,” you say, stumbling over your feet to press your forehead against his back. “I need to get in there and fix my arm before I pass out.”

“Okay,” he says with a final nod before pushing the door open.

Sunghoon’s guilt and shame wash over him when he sees Jay and Jake sitting inside. They look at him with anger and disappointment flashing across their faces as they see him standing in the threshold of his doorway. They don’t comment on the spattered red blood that’s halfway dry on his sleeve. Seeing his friends look at him with such betrayal makes Sunghoon feel like the worst person in the entire world.

“What the actual fuck,” Jake speaks, cutting the silence. “Where the fuck have you been, Sunghoon?”

“We’ve been worried sick,” Jay adds. “You’ve been gone for a week. Where the fuck were you and what happened?”

“How did you guys get in here?” Sunghoon asks quizzically.

“You gave me your spare key.” Jay fishes it out of his pocket and throws it on the counter beside him. “For emergencies, remember? We come in here to see your apartment is a mess. I’d count this as an emergency.”

“Guys, I can explain–”

“You fucking better!” Jake exclaims, raising his voice a notch. “We were worried sick about you! Didn’t you check your texts? Why didn’t you call us? Are you in trouble?”

“Guys—”

“Cut the shit, Sunghoon. Friends don’t do that to other people, especially when we came here and saw your bedroom. It looks like a storm blew in here.” Jay shakes his head. “What the hell happened to you?”

Sunghoon tries to apologize amidst the chaos. “You guys, really, I’m sorry–”

“You better be fucking sorry!” Jake shouts back at Sunghoon, who has dared to inch closer to the angry man in front of him. “Sunghoon, I swear to God. We’ve been brothers since college and I’ve been by your side through everything. The least you could have fucking done was let us know that you’re okay and–”

“All of you better shut up unless you want to deal with me passed out on the floor,” you warn, slamming a gun on the table. It makes a horrendously loud noise that startles all three of them but it’s enough to garner their attention.

Jake’s eyes are first to see your arm. You’ve taken off Sunghoon’s jacket and discarded it on the chair beside you, revealing the blood-soaked spectacle underneath. He sputters over his words, while Jay remains frozen in his spot.

“Sunghoon,” you speak, voice heavy with your eyes shut together. “Do you have any alcohol?”

“I-I have vodka” Sunghoon stutters. He stumbles backwards and grabs all of the bottles he can find.

“Sunghoon,” you say again through broken words and heavy breaths, “can you please get my backpack and the medical kit sashed underneath your touch?”

“What the fuck?!” Jay exclaims. “We need to get you to a hospital.”

“No hospitals,” Sunghoon answers, putting the backpack on the table in front of you. He pulls out the kit and opens it for you. “Too much attention. We can’t afford that right now.”

“What the fuck do you mean?” Jay retorts. “She’s clearly bleeding out! Y/N needs to see a doctor to get her arm patched up. She’s bleeding all over the fucking table!”

Jay averts his gaze from Sunghoon when he hears you fish out a needle and thread. The gauze from your kit sits atop the counter and he winces when you peel back the fabric to reveal the wound.

“Holy shit,” Jake mutters. “How are you still alive?”

“It’s not fatal,” you explain. “It’s a flesh wound at best. Hurts like hell, but at least the bullet fragment didn’t lodge itself inside of me.”

“Bullet?”

“Can you make yourself useful and get me a cup?”

Jake moves to the kitchen, too afraid of what you’ll do if he doesn’t obey your command. The sight of your bloody arm is enough to make him equal parts sick and panicked. The three boys in front of you are silent as they watch you unpack what you need. The room smells of sweat and iron, but neither of them dare to take their eyes off of your arm.

“Do you have any spare towels I can use?” you ask Sunghoon. He wordlessly grabs them for you.

“This is crazy,” Jake mutters.

“It’s about to get crazier,” you mumble, patting the blood on the skin that isn’t damaged.

“Don’t tell me–”

“Yeah,” you say, unscrewing the top to the vodka bottle and pouring yourself enough liquid to temporarily calm your nerves. The boys watch as you tilt your head back to consume the vodka. “Somebody please put my hair up.”

“How’s this gonna work?” Jake asks as Sunghoon ties your hair for you.

“Whenever the alcohol starts to kick in, I’m going to use the vodka to disinfect this arm and clear it to the best of my ability,” you explain. “Then, I’m going to stitch myself up.”

“What the fuck.”

“I’ve been in worse situations. I’ll be fine.”

“You…You’ve done this before?” Jake asks.

“Too many times to count. Now, I ask that you keep quiet and do as I say unless you want me to pass out. Do you understand?”

Jay and Jake mumble agreements under their breaths. Sunghoon only nods.

When you feel your shoulders start to relax, that’s when you force your body upright and grab the vodka again. You’ve done this enough times but the searing pain of alcohol being poured into your wound still hurts. Everybody hears the sound of the liquid dripping onto the floor mixed with your short whimpers of suffering.

The boys feel helpless as they stare at you cleaning yourself up without assistance. It kills them to sit so immobile as you fight your pain in front of them. Your composure starts to crumble as the alcohol cascades down your arm and everybody is shocked to see you aren’t doubling in pain.

It kills Sunghoon to sit so powerless like he did when you first convinced him to leave with you. He can barely look at the blood spilling from your arm onto his table. His friends try to look away but can’t, eyes glancing back at you every so often. Sunghoon hates seeing you in pain like this and he resents that there’s nothing he can do to help you. He decides that he should look around his apartment for any listening devices in case the assailant comes back to finish the job.

He comes back a while later after searching the entire place, overturning even the smallest piece of decor he owns. His limited experience follows him from room to room, searching for audio devices in unassuming crevices and obvious places. When he feels confident that he did a thorough job, he returns to the living room to find the blood-soaked towels on the table and Jay holding a roll of paper towels.

“I searched my place,” Sunghoon informs. “There should be no bugs or anything.”

“Bugs?” Jake asks quizzically.

“Audio devices or anything that could be used to listen in on us. You can never be too sure.”

“Good,” you comment weakly. Jay does his best to throw away everything he can in the trash and clean up too.

The three boys sit in silence once more. Your winces short pained breaths are the only audible sound in the room. Sunghoon looks away every time the needle pierces your skin and wonders how you’ve built up a tolerance to this type of pain. His heart aches when he thinks about you doing this alone.

“I need to eat or else I’m going to pass out. Do you have anything?”

“All the food in the fridge is probably rotten by now,” Sunghoon mumbles. “One of us should get some food for tonight.”

“I’ll go to the store across the street and get something,” Jake volunteers, his stomach churning from the sight before him.

“Take Jay with you,” he hears you instruct. “From now on, we need to stay in pairs.”

“Sure thing,’ Jay nods.

The two of them come back in record time. Sunghoon helps you sit upright when you fail to compose yourself and tries not to think anything of it when your head leans on his body. Your mouth quivers like you’re trying to keep yourself from crying in front of him.

Sunghoon opens a few of the packaged foods that his friends had bought, setting it far from where your arm is on the table. He beckons you to open your mouth and feed you flavorful crackers and other dry foods that won’t distract you from stitching yourself up. He feels your lips touch his fingers when he feeds you and Sunghoon feels like his body is on fire.

You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “I’m sorry you have to see this.”

“So this is why you’ve been gone?” Jay asks Sunghoon. “What the fuck happened to the both of you?”

“I guess now’s the best time to explain,” you say after a long beat of silence. “I owe you guys that much.”

“That would be nice.” Sunghoon glares at his friend but you put your arm on him and shake your head.

“Maybe we should let her concentrate so she doesn’t injure herself any more than she already is.”

“Talking distracts me from the pain.” They sit in front of you quietly. Jay anxiously bounces his leg in his seat when you pull the needle through.

Jake stares at your arm before looking up. “Who are you?”

“There are a lot of bad people in this world who want to acquire power to the point of being drunk off of it, and there are bad people who carry out orders to ensure this power is transferred from one entity to another.”

“Which one are you?” Sunghoon stands from his seat when Jay looks at you with a hard expression but you shake your head. He backs down, sitting in his seat without a word.

“The latter,” you say honestly. “I’m an independent contractor, of sorts. I’m somebody who has the physical means to push power in any direction my Command tells me to without question.”

“Command?”

“Command is the organization that employs me.”

“None of this makes sense, Y/N. Who are you working for? What line of work puts you in this kind of danger?”

“I do things that get the job done,” you say, gritting your teeth as you pull a stitch taught. “I fight, steal, and harm anyone who gets in the way of a successful mission. My job is to succeed, Jay. My purpose is to win.”

“H-Harm?” Jake chokes on his words.

“By any means necessary.”

“You’re not serious,” Jay comments. “None of this is real.”

“All of it is real and it’s my life. It’s all I know and it’s what I grew up with.”

Jake shakes his head. “All of this is so confusing to me. You’re saying that there’s an organization called ‘Command’ and you’re an independent contractor that carries out orders to complete a job. Just what kind of job do you have?”

“Do you see the state of my arm?” Jake nods. “What I do in my day to day life is serious business. My job changes everyday and there’s nothing I can’t accomplish. I do whatever is necessary to ensure that Command gains as much power and money as possible to keep a balanced order as we know it. I do bad things for bad people. Did, I should say.”

Sunghoon quirks an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

The last stitch stings. You tie it to the best of your ability and clean the wound until you can’t bear to stand the pain anymore. The boys in front of you gawk at you.

“I used to harm people if it meant serving the greater good according to Command.”

“What does that mean exactly?” Sunghoon’s voice quivers and you cast your eyes to the table.

“I think you know.”

“That guy who broke into your apartment and tried to strangle you to death works for Command too, doesn’t he?”

“I assume so. I didn’t recognize him but his combat style is similar to mine. I can only assume we come from the same place.”

“That doesn't explain why he tried to kill you.”

You shake your head. Sunghoon watches as your eyes become wet as you pat your wound dry, throat constricting from the pain in your arm and within your heart.

“He didn’t try to kill me. He was trying to kill you.”

“Why me?”

You speak above a whisper.

“Because I was taking too long.”

The gears in his head turn as he looks at you from where he sits. Sunghoon feels like the reality around him has shattered into a thousand pieces. He can't seem to stitch back together as he looks between your arm and your face. For the first time since he’s known you, you can’t look him in the eye.

It clicks for him.

“Me?” Sunghoon asks incredulously. “You were sent to kill me?”

You bite your lip. “That thumb drive your boss gave you contains years worth of documented payroll. Your colleagues and investors have been diverting funds from the company into a shell bank account for decades. This portion of money is used by Command to fund our missions and carry out any necessities to ensure anybody who petrays this organization sees the end of their life.”

“That’s fucking crazy.” Sunghoon stands from his chair and walks around the living room. He looks at you like you’ve shattered his heart, as if the pieces are scattered onto the floor before him. “You tried to kill me?” The crack in his voice brings tears to your eyes.

“I wasn’t going to. I’ve been like this since I was thirteen and didn’t know any better. If I wanted a roof over my head and food to eat, I needed to work for it. But you, Sunghoon…You are somebody I could never hurt.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to believe that when you lived next door to me for months, waiting for the right time to kill me? What, were you gonna murder me in my sleep?” He runs his hands over his face. “Oh god, were you going to do something to me the night you came over? Is that why you agreed to hang out with me?”

“No!” you exclaim. “You were my daydream too, Sunghoon. You were the most normal part of my life where I didn’t have to think about my fake job as a security guard or mission updates on your wellbeing. You were my friend. You were somebody I wanted to trust.”

Sunghoon shakes his head. “I-I don’t believe you.”

“I’ve wanted out for so long,” you plead. “I don’t want to live this life anymore. I was sent on this mission with the hopes of acquiring that thumb drive but I don’t give a shit about that anymore. I don’t care about obeying orders. I don’t care about who holds power because only the worst of the worst are the ones who run the show.”

“You’re the worst of the worst!” Sunghoon exclaims. “God, I actually let myself fall for you even though we barely knew each other. I let myself trust you when we were on the run, and now what? Are you gonna rat me out to your Command? Are you going to bring my head on a silver platter to your master?”

“I would never,” you plead, hot, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks and the side of your face. “I don’t want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Yeah, well you’ve hurt me. Congratulations, Y/N.”

Sunghoon walks into his bedroom with his back turned to you. Jay and Jake watch as you aggressively wipe the tears from your eyes and wince at the pain in your arm now that the alcohol is starting to subside.

“That’s really fucked up, Y/N,” Jake says. “You were going to murder our best friend. How did you think Sunghoon was going to react?”

You shake your head. “My entire life is order after order. I never make decisions for myself. I don’t live for myself. You have to understand that disobeying orders means you get killed and saving Sunghoon was the biggest risk I have ever taken in my life. It’s the first choice I’ve made for me, not for Command. The person who tried to kill us probably knew I went rogue. There’s a reason why he was shooting at both of us. I’m a target too.”

“Wait, so someone tried to kill you tonight? For real this time?”

“Yeah, well you’ve hurt me. Congratulations, Y/N.”

You nod. “It won’t stop either. They’ll come looking for me and Sunghoon. He’s somebody who saw something he shouldn’t have and I’m a rogue assassin who betrayed her people. My head is on a platter too. The last thing I want to do is see Sunghoon dead.”

Jay sighs. “This is really hard to believe. You can’t seriously think any of us will trust you after what you just told us.”

“You have to,” you croak. “I wouldn’t risk my life by betraying Command to save Sunghoon and bring him out of town if I wanted to see him dead.”

“You have a point. But this all seems…far fetched.”

“It’s a lot to take in, I know. I don’t expect either of you to think positively of me or to believe in me. But I’m asking you to trust me if you want to see Sunghoon live. I can’t protect him if he doesn’t want my help.”

“What makes you think you could protect him? Your arm is damaged and you don’t even know what you’re doing.”

“I know people,” you tell them. “I have contacts all over the globe for doing favors and spending time in places for months at a time. And in the meantime, I have a friend who might be willing to help us start escaping Korea and find refuge where Command won’t find us.”

“How do we know this person is trustworthy?” Jake asks.

“We talk about this life, Heeseung and I,” you explain. “We grew up together. We’ve known each other since we were four and grew up learning how to fight hand-to-hand combat together. He’s seen me bloody and broken far too many times than I can count. You can’t trust many people in this line of business, but he’s saved me too many times for me to not trust him.”

“This Heeseung person, is he close by?”

“There’s an abandoned warehouse in the most southern part of Korea. Heeseung was supposed to oversee its demolition but told me he never did in the event that somebody needed refuge. As far as I know, the warehouse is still functional and he still operates from over there.”

“So, what, are you and Sunghoon going to meet up with Heeseung and life will suddenly be fine?”

“I don’t know.” You swallow harshly. “But I know that Heeseung is good at fixing wounds and funneling people and hiding. He is the only person I would risk my life to save and I know he’d do the same for me.”

“You saved Sunghoon’s,” Jay comments.

You bite your lip. “I would risk my life for him too. He was the first person that made me feel like a human being, like I didn’t have to be ashamed of my flaws or shortcomings. Everyday I imagined a life where we could be friends instead of leading the life that I do. Talking to him made me feel like I finally had the privilege of freedom. But then someone broke into the wrong apartment and involved both of us. I risked my life by saving him and now that Command likely knows I’m on the run with him, they’re out to kill us both.”

“Be honest with us. Are you willing to sacrifice your life to protect Sunghoon?”

You meet Jay’s eye and answer him without hesitation.

“Yes.”

“I don’t know if we can really trust you fully,” Jake stars, “but it sounds like you’re in trouble too. Killing Sunghoon now wouldn’t save your life, would it?”

You shake your head. “Once a traitor, always a traitor.”

Jay sighs. “Well, it’s not like you could kill any of us with a damaged arm. You should probably get some sleep and disinfect the arm. Sunghoon’s shower is just down the hallway. The towels are in the cabinet beside it.”

They watch you stand up and bow in a ninety-degree angle despite the pressure it puts on your arm. You stand up to look at them with eyes full of sorrow and regret, the kind that has your lips trembling and eyes watering.

“For whatever it’s worth, thank you for listening to me.”

“Yeah, well we needed answers.”

You let a tear fall. “I’m sorry.”

“Answer this for me,” Jake asks. “Why did Heeseung keep the facility and what’s he using it for, really?”

You bite your lip. “I heard through the grapevine that there have been talks about an uprising to take down Command. There are dozens of people like me, people who are tired of being ordered to kill and perform other horrendous acts against humanity. Heeseung and I often talk about abandoning our post but neither one of us had the courage to actually do it.”

“But you did.”

“After I met Sunghoon, yeah. I’ve never lived in an apartment before. It’s always small hostels or hotels until the job is over, and then I return to base camp where everything feels like a prison. Living next to Sunghoon let me develop a routine where I deluded myself into thinking I could have a future like that someday.”

“So you just…gave up that life?”

“I suppose so.”

“This uprising,” Jay says, “what’s it going to accomplish?”

“If done right, then Command will be wiped out of existence. This means no paper or digital trail. All backlogs are demolished and everyone who wants to be free, will be free.”

“That’s a lot to ensure no one targets your back.”

“There’s only one person who gives out orders,” you explain. “Everyone else are pawns who’ve been kidnapped and bred to become the type of people we are today. Nobody wants to live this lifestyle. Nobody wants to die a killer.”

“Okay,” Jay says after a moment of silence. “But I think it’s best if you freshen up and get some sleep.

Jake sighs when he hears the bathroom door close.

“What are we gonna do? If Y/N hadn’t stitched herself up in front of us, I’d call bullshit and tell Hoon to move out of this building.”

“I don’t know what to feel either,” says Jay. “I don’t trust her because she just told us she was sent to kill him but you saw how well she kept herself together just now. She could’ve killed him and gotten that thumb drive whenever she wanted to.”

“I don’t trust her either, but she said her life is on the line whether or not Sunghoon is dead. She could’ve done something to him but she hasn’t. I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

Jay sighs for the umpteenth time. “For now, let’s just try to make sure Sunghoon and Y/N aren’t anywhere near each other tonight. I know she could probably kill us all in our sleep but we would’ve been dead by now if she didn’t trust us.” The two boys look at your gun, which is still sitting on the table.

“You’re right,” Jake agrees. “She should take Hoon’s guest bedroom and rest up. I can’t imagine how much pain she’s in. You should probably be the one who talks to him, too. He always listens to you.”

Jay laughs humorlessly. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s stay the night just in case. Lord knows we don’t need those two killing each other.”

Jake leaves to prepare the guest bedroom and calm his nerves away from the bloody table. Jay walks to Sunghoon’s bedroom door and raps his knuckles against the wood.

“Hoon, open up,” Jay beckons. “It’s me.”

It’s quiet for a moment until he hears Sunghoon’s feet shuffling behind the door.

“If you’re going to tell me to forgive her and move on, forget it.” Jay walks into the room when Sunghoon doesn’t close the door in front of him.

“I wasn’t going to. You have every right to feel the way you do. I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.” Sunghoon bites back a snarky comment, knowing his anger isn’t redirected at Jay.

“I feel so fucking betrayed. I feel like my life is over and there’s nothing I can do to get back the time I had. I wish I never met Y/N and I wish I never opened that stupid fucking thumb drive because then I wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Take is easy, okay?” Jay says. “I know that’s virtually impossible given the circumstances, but there’s nothing you can do right now. Y/N’s in the shower and Jake’s preparing the guest room for her now.”

“I want this to be over. Or better yet, I just want someone to end my misery.”

Jay sits next to Sunghoon on his bed, knocking his shoulder against his. “Don’t say that. You’ve survived and gotten this far. It’s only fair that you see it through and make it out alive.”

“But what does that even mean?” Sunghoon asks, exasperated. “The end could be years from now. I don’t even know what I’m fighting for. I can’t stay here long or they’ll find me and murder me. I don’t even know what Y/N’s end goal is. We’ve been running for so long and I didn’t know any of her intentions until tonight.”

“I can’t speak for her and I won’t because who she is, isn’t someone I’d want in your life,” Jay begins. “But she’s dead whether or not you are. If you die and the mission is complete, her head is still on a platter because she disobeyed her orders.

“I’m not telling you to trust her because of who she is, but I’m telling you that it seems like she truly doesn’t want you to get hurt. She waited for months to even talk to you and never made a point to involve you in any of this before you disappeared. Y/N told us she has a contact that could potentially help the two of you with your predicament, and that’s the best that I can see for the time being. Part of me thinks she means what she says.”

“What if she’s lying?”

“No one can be sure of that. But what I know is that it’s late and you look like you haven’t slept in ages. Take a shower once Y/N’s done and get some shut eye. Jake and I will be here when you wake up.”

“I hate that she’s using my shower,” Sunghoon grumbles.

“What you hate is that you still like her, even after all of this.”

Sunghoon groans. “Stop reading me. You’re a freak for always being right.” Jay laughs.

“I’m really glad you’re okay. You had us worried sick and we thought we’d never see you again.” Sunghoon opens to talk but Jay shakes his head. “You don’t need to explain anything to me after what we just went through with Y/N and her arm. Get ready for bed and then get some sleep.”

Jay departs from Sunghoon’s bedroom, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He can hear the sound of their feet shuffling outside when the impending tiredness overwhelms him unexpectedly. When he’s sure you’re not occupying the bathroom, Sunghoon takes a quick shower and relishes being in his own bathroom with hot water. He lets the steam soak into his skin before drying himself off and brushing his teeth.

Sunghoon chooses to slip underneath the covers in his bedroom. You’re out cold in the guest bedroom next to his while Jay and Jake volunteered to take watching shifts. The only thing he can hear is the soft hum of the wind from outside. It feels peaceful and serene. But this tranquility makes him uncomfortable. He’s starting to understand why you work well under pressure.

As he melts underneath the covers, Sunghoon allows his heavy eyes to close shut. He dreams of nothing.

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

The smell of sausages brings Sunghoon out of his slumber. Being somewhat well-rested feels foreign to him as he walks out of the bathroom performing his morning routine like any other day. It feels odd to look at himself in his mirror, putting on face products that have sat untouched for a week.

Jake is frying eggs when he walks into the kitchen area while Jay is prepping the bowls and utensils. Sunghoon watches silently as the two work in tandem to prepare gyeran bap with sausage on the side. The scent makes his mouth water.

“Morning,” Sunghoon croaks. “Is Y/N still sleeping?”

“Last I checked,” Jay says with a nod.

“Good. I don’t know if I can face her right now.”

“You’ll need to eventually.”

“I know.” Sunghoon sits in a chair and slumps over the table, which is significantly cleaner than when he last saw it. “Everything feels too fresh.”

“Y/N probably feels the same,” Jake says. “She sounds like she wants out of whatever business she finds herself in. I’m not defending her or anything, but you heard her. She grew up in this lifestyle so I can’t imagine how hard it must be to break away from something you’ve always known.”

“Still.”

Sunghoon eats his breakfast in silence with Jay while Jake volunteers to wake you up and help you with changing your bandages. They’re done eating by the time you emerge and Sunghoon can’t find it in himself to look at you, keeping busy by playing with his fingers. He feels your eyes on him and ignores the guilt that gnaws in his chest when he pretends you aren’t there, eating your breakfast next to him.

“We need to talk about next steps,” Jake says, cutting the tension. “You two obviously can’t stay here since it’ll be a liability for your safety. Hoon, you probably can’t go to your parents’ and neither Jay or I have enough space for you guys in the long run.”

“Y/N mentioned an abandoned warehouse that was salvaged and is fully operational,” Jay tells Sunghoon. “She knows someone there she trusts that might be able to help you two escape Korea or stay hidden long enough.”

Sunghoon huffs. “Trust. Sure.”

“It seems like your best bet.”

“Please Sunghoon,” you beg. “Please choose to continue living.”

He sighs. “It’s hard to hear you, of all people, say that to me.”

You nod. “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever say anything that will make things better but being on the run is what I’m good at and this isn’t an opportunity we can pass up”

He looks up at his friends. “So this is it, huh? I’m just…never going to see you guys again?”

Jay and Jake share a look.

“Well…” Jake draws out, rubbing the back of his next. “Not quite.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re coming with you,” Jay says.

“What?” Sunghoon says incredulously. “No you’re not. You guys can’t risk your lives just to save mine.”

“Y/N told us about this uprising,” Jay explains, “to take down Command and end this organization for good. I’d be a fool not to be part of it after knowing what they put you through.”

“Our lives truly mean nothing if we ignore this and pretend people aren’t suffering,” says Jake. “Y/N can’t carry the burden alone.”

He finally looks at you. “You’re going to take down Command?”

“I’ll probably die trying, but yes. We can leave Korea but I can’t in good faith leave it here where more people die and suffer every single day.”

“This person she knows is someone who’s all for the uprising too,” says Jake. “If your next logical step is to hide away in his warehouse until life becomes more quiet, I think we should go too.”

“You can’t,” Sunghoon says, shaking his head. “You two have lives here, for God’s sake.”

“None more than you did.”

He looks at you. “Why are you encouraging them?”

“I’m not,” you say. “But I know two ambitious people when I see them. If they’re willing to help me with my mission, I’d be stupid to turn them down.”

“This is batshit. You can't just leave everything behind for me.”

Jay smiles. “It’s what friends are for, right?”

He knows there’s no use arguing when his friends are looking at him like they’ve already made up their minds. Sunghoon averts his eyes to see you with your arm slung on the table and then back to his friends, and sighs.

“Welcome to the team. Let’s pray we don’t die.”

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

please consider leaving a comment (or two) and reblogging! x

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#sunghoon x reader #enhypen x reader #sunghoon imagines #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #sunghoon scenarios #sunghoon fanfiction #enhypen fanfiction #sunghoon #secrets untold #my writing

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vivwritesfics · 10 months

Text

No Need To Ask

Chapter Eleven - Going Home

The Norris' were a notorious crime family in the UK. One of many. With Norris, the head of the family, running operations with his son, Lando, they work to keep Y/N Norris, Norris' daughter protected. Life in a crime family wasn't something they wanted for her.

But with tension with one of the Spanish crime families rise, Norris and his now deceased wife come up with only one plan, offer their daughter to the Sainz's or risk an all out war.

Warnings: Smut! Cheating!

1.7K words

Series Masterlist

Where the fuck was Oscar?

It took four days before Y/N was stomping through Carlos' house, heading towards his office.

It was only recognisable by how heavily it was usually guarded. Not today though.

Pushing up her sleeves, Y/N mustered all of the courage she had and pushed her way into Carlos' office.

"Okay, where the f"

But she stopped in her tracks when she looked at her husband.

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room. Against the desk was a woman, one Y/N recognised to be a member of the kitchen staff. Carlos' eyes snapped towards the door when Y/N walked in. He continued to thrust, his pace bruising as he stared at his wife.

The woman hadn't noticed Y/N as she laid flat on the desk, breasts bouncing with his thrusts.

"Can I help you, Querida?" Carlos asked, his pace never faltering.

The woman let out a particularly loud moan and threw her head back. She must have felt somebody else in the room, because she opened her eyes, seeing Y/N standing there.

"Mi señora! ¡Dios mío, señora mía!" The woman cried as she shuffled back on the desk, pushing Carlos away as she did so.

The woman gathered up her clothes and ran out of the office. Carlos simply pulled up his trousers and buckled his belt, sitting in his desk chair. "Can I help you?" He tried again.

But Y/N was still just standing there, her mouth open in shock. She knew it wasn't a marriage of love, but she never expected this.

When she said nothing, Carlos went back to his paperwork. Like he cared for nothing, he scribbled his signature across papers and dismissed her from the room.

Y/N obeyed. With her fists clenched at her side, she marched out of the office and down the hall, down to her room. Surely this had to be grounds for divorce. Surely this meant she could go home. Surely… Surely…

No. This happened in every Mafia marriage. Unless it was born out of love, the wives were nothing more than ornaments, decorations to make the mafia leaders look better. Carlos cheating on her would only mean something if he really loved her. But he didn’t. Their marriage meant nothing, and she meant nothing.

There wasn’t much that could make things worse for her. She was stuck a house that didn’t feel like her own, surrounded by people that could easily kill her, with a husband that didn’t love her.

But, as life always did, it made things worse. So much fucking worse.

After three hours stewing alone in her room, there was a knock at the door.

“Go away!” Y/N shouted as she turned away from the door. “I don’t want to see you!”

But it wasn’t Carlos that threw open her bedroom door. Señora Sainz, as Y/N was supposed to call her, opened the door. “I have some news for you, Y/N,” she said, letting herself into the room.

“So, what, you’re not going to test me on my Spanish now?” Y/N spat as she looked towards the window.

Señora Sainz shook her head. “It’s about your father.”

Y/N turned towards her. Her tone wasn’t filling Y/N with a lot of confidence. She looked towards her mother in law, her breath hitching. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said and strode forward to wrap her arms around Y/N. “Pack your things, you and Carlos are going home tonight.”

“No,” Y/N said instantly. “I’ll go alone. Carlos doesn’t need this distraction.”

But Carlos had to go. All of the Mafia bosses either had to go or send somebody in their place. Sainz was sending Carlos, since Y/N had to go already.

Silently, she packed her things. There really was no getting away from Carlos.

Before midnight Y/N and Carlos were on the private jet, heading to the UK. They didn’t sit near each other, at least not at first. She made a point of sitting as far away from Carlos as she could. But then, as they got closer and closer to England, Y/N stood.

She stretched her limbs and walked across the plane taking a seat beside Carlos. “This is my fathers funeral,” she said and Carlos looked up at her. “And I don’t want to see you. We’ll have to sit beside each other at the ceremony, but, other than that, I want you to stay away from me.”

Carlos chucked and shook his head. “Querida, you must have realised if I wasn’t fucking you, I’d have to be fucking something else,” he said and crossed one leg over the other.

She ignored it, pushing on. “And, you’re going to tell me what happened to Oscar. I know he’s not in Spain anymore, so you’re going to tell me where he is.”

Again, Carlos shook his head. He stood suddenly, his hands on the arms of Y/N’s seats as he leaned over her. “You’re forgetting who’s in charge here, Señora Sainz,” he growled with a wicked grin.

They didn’t break eye contact. Y/N’s chest was heaving, but she wasn’t going to back down. Not in this rare moment of bravery. “I’d divorce you if I could,” she spat.

Carlos laughed again. He sat back in his seat and let out a laugh. “You know, querida, you are funny. Have you ever heard of a divorce in our world? No? Because they don’t happen. The only way you’re going to leave me is if you’re dead.”

When they touched down in England, it was cold and miserable. But it was always cold and miserable.

Y/N couldn't look at Carlos as they drove back to the house she had grown up in. She kept her focus on the radio. Carlos didn’t try and make conversation, and Y/N was grateful. She couldn’t talk to him at that moment.

When they pulled up at the Norris house, Y/N quickly jumped out of the car. She ran up the steps and through the front door, two men grabbing her arms as soon as she ran through them. But, as soon as she realised who she was, they let go of her.

Leaving Carlos behind, Y/N marched her way through the house. If Lando was going to be anywhere he was going to be in his fathers – no, his office. It was his office now, just as he was head of the family.

He wasn’t Lando anymore. He was Norris.

The office wasn’t guarded like Carlos’s was. Lando didn’t need it. Y/N knocked gently and pushed her way into the office.

As soon as Lando saw his sister, he was on his feet, walking over to her to wrap her in her embrace. No longer was Lando this ruthless guy, not compared to Carlos. Lando squeezed his arms around his sister. “I’m so happy you’re here,” Lando whispered as he kissed the top of her head. “How is married life treating you?”

“Lan, please,” Y/N mumbled, cheek pressed against his jacket. “Dad is dead and the man I’m married to is the last thing I want to talk about,” she answered.

Lando nodded his head. “I’ve had a separate room set up for him,” he said and Y/N thanked him. “Do you know how long you’re staying for?”

“No,” she answered as he sat back behind his desk. Y/N sat in one of the chairs opposite him, not missing the way that Lando tucked his paperwork back into its folder.

“Well, the heads of family are having a meeting at the end of the week, so you and Carlos will have to stay for that,” Lando said, nails drumming against the wood of his desk.

Her arms were crossed over her chest as she looked towards the window behind him. “I don’t want to go back,” she whispered. “Oscar isn’t even there anymore, and I don’t know what to do without him.”

Lando sucked in a breath. “Oscar is… back in Australia. With Mark.”

“What?!” Y/N jumped up out of her seat. “What do you mean Oscar is in Australia? Why is he in Australia?”

“It’s what’s best for his safety.”

“Did he decide this? Or did you decide this?” She asked, hands on the desk as she leaned towards her brother. “Or, better yet, did Carlos decide this?”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s happened, and there’s nothing any of us can do about it.”

***

No, Oscar did not decide to go back to Australia. After he’d had the shit beaten out of him by Carlos’s men, he went back to Australia, back to Mark.

He could have gone back to England, could have gone back to the Norris family, but what would Lando do? He was the one who had given his sister away. But Mark, Mark was the most powerful man in Australia. Mark could do something about it.

Oscar hadn’t grown up in a crime family. He’d grown up relatively normally, but when he’d gotten into some trouble as a kid, Mark gave him his only option. To join the Webber family, to train up through the ranks, and then to go off to England to work in a different family. He was meant to be a mole, but the Norris family had nothing to hide, nothing they were keeping from Webber.

But Oscar was assigned to Y/N, to looking out for her, watching over her. When She went off to Spain he went with her, protecting her, watching over her.

Oscar knew how he felt before they went to Spain. He knew how he felt and he could do anything about it. And then he met Carlos. Carlos was terrifying, but Oscar wasn’t scared. He’d dealt with worse than Carlos.

But now he was back in Australia, sat in front of Mark as he went over the blueprints of Carlos’s house. He’d only spent two weeks there, but he’d learnt everything he needed to know. The entrances and exits, where all of the men were stationed and everybody’s schedules.

If anybody could fuck up the Sainz family, it was Oscar.

And that was exactly what he was going to do.

Taglist (open): @multi-universe21 @formulas-bitch @gills-lounge @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @carlossainzwho @f1lov3r @samaib11 @charli123456789 @queenofmanydreams @ironmaiden1313 @vellicora @glitterf1 @80sloverry @lightdragonrayne @moonayu @bellsalabanccini @topguncultleader @handsupforamiracle @cmleitora @ashy-kit @jenniferrvsesi @barcelonaloverf1life @sbella13 @nicolettecallednikki @darleneslane @thehufflepuffavenger1 @champagneproblems17 @aespie @yukheizcigarettes @rewmuslupin @hollie911

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feyclowns · 17 days

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nonna cadabra — character insight

celestine cadabra | she/her | 500,000 | brooch wand

introduction

nonna cadabra is a force to be reckoned with. she is manipulative and highly intelligent, and a skilled actress. she does her research.

overuses pet names

constantly offering other people her cooking. makes it less suspicious if she were to offer someone something that was perhaps.. not safe for consumption.

chronic hair ruffler and cheek pincher despite her short stature

really plays up the confused but sweet grandma role. no longer considered a threat by rivals; "it's a damn shame celeste faded like that", but this is a facade to collect information and keep an eye out for any danger that might come for her dear boys.

biography

born into the cadabra crime family. eldest daughter of 6.

natural leader and strategist, using her rising rivals' messy fights and takeovers to offer help to the fairies hit by crossfire in the form of paid protection. momma would treat you right.*

*terms and conditions may apply.

the death of jorgen's parents opened up for a lot of power struggle in outer fairy world, as the leader of the militia and law enforcement administrator had abruptly been disposed of with two young sons unable to fill her shoes.

celestine's family business had already run a few generations back, but seeing this fleeting business opportunity, she quickly swooped in and expanded before nana von strangle could take back over.

as nana congregated her officers closer to the capitol buildings, this left outer fairy world unprotected

fairies saw local law enforcement as failed, enabling celestine to really dig her claws in amidst the chaos

also decided to go in the direction of a garbage company for a front. their primary, non-public services besides protection were smuggling and money laundering.

settled late, mothering four sons with her husband, booker. she worked hard to balance her business and instill useful values in her boys- matteo (big daddy) was momma's favorite despite being the youngest

when she got older and her husband passed, she wisely gave the physically stronger and younger matteo the reins, pretending to have gone somewhat senile in her older age from grief (while still giving advice to her son and acting as backline support, sniffing out rats gone unnoticed by others and giving info on people). she chose to keep the boss position in her blood family instead of giving it to someone else.

this action had consequences.

partially helped raise wanda and willa (blonda). wanda is her favorite.

knows big daddy has plenty of time but would like to see an heir to the family business named since he's got grandkids now.

#fairly oddparents #fop #fairywinkle family #celestine cadabra #the fairly oddparents #cadabra crime family #character insight

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deadpresidents · 2 months

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Joe Biden has been one of America's most consequential presidents, as well as a dear friend and partner to me. Today, we've also been reminded — again — that he's a patriot of the highest order. Sixteen years ago, when I began my search for a vice president, I knew about Joe’s remarkable career in public service. But what I came to admire even more was his character — his deep empathy and hard-earned resilience; his fundamental decency and belief that everyone counts.

Since taking office, President Biden has displayed that character again and again. He helped end the pandemic, created millions of jobs, lowered the cost of prescription drugs, passed the first major piece of gun safety legislation in 30 years, made the biggest investment to address climate change in history, and fought to ensure the rights of working people to organize for fair wages and benefits. Internationally, he restored America’s standing in the world, revitalized NATO, and mobilized the world to stand up against Russian aggression in Ukraine.

More than that, President Biden pointed us away from the four years of chaos, falsehood, and division that had characterized Donald Trump’s administration. Through his policies and his example, Joe has reminded us of who we are at our best — a country committed to old-fashioned values like trust and honesty, kindness and hard work; a country that believes in democracy, rule of law, and accountability; a country that insists that everyone, no matter who they are, has a voice and deserves a chance at a better life.

This outstanding track record gave President Biden every right to run for re-election and finish the job he started. Joe understands better than anyone the stakes in this election — how everything he has fought for throughout his life, and everything that the Democratic Party stands for, will be at risk if we allow Donald Trump back in the White House and give Republicans control of Congress.

I also know Joe has never backed down from a fight. For him to look at the political landscape and decide that he should pass the torch to a new nominee is surely one of the toughest in his life. But I know he wouldn’t make this decision unless he believed it was right for America. It’s a testament to Joe Biden’s love of country — and a historic example of a genuine public servant once again putting the interests of the American people ahead of his own that future generations of leaders will do well to follow.

We will be navigating uncharted waters in the days ahead. But I have extraordinary confidence that the leaders of our party will be able to create a process from which an outstanding nominee emerges. I believe that Joe Biden’s vision of a generous, prosperous, and united America that provides opportunity for everyone will be on full display at the Democratic Convention in August. And I expect that every single one of us are prepared to carry that message of hope and progress forward into November and beyond.

For now, Michelle and I just want to express our love and gratitude to Joe and Jill for leading us so ably and courageously during these perilous times — and for their commitment to the ideals of freedom and equality that this country was founded on.

-- Former President Barack Obama's statement on President Biden's announcement, July 21, 2024.

#2024 Election #Joe Biden #President Biden #Barack Obama #President Obama #Politics #Presidential Election #Presidential Politics #History

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penny00dreadful · 9 months

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Okay, okay, okay listen.

Remember when we were all obsessed with Steddie Legally Blonde a while back? Yes, I’m still thinking about it, leave me alone. And I adore everything I’ve read. It’s all so fantastic.

But I had a thought because what if we switched it up a little? I’m going mainly off of the musical here, so bear with.

So what if instead of having Steddie as Elle and Emmett, we instead have them as Paulette and UPS Guy/Kyle??? Like??? It fits, right???

But then, but THEN who do we have as Elle/Emmett?

Buckingham.

No, but just think of it!

Or I guess you don’t really need to because I’ve thought of it enough for all of us and it goes like this:

(OMG you guys I blacked out and when I woke up this thing was 3.1k long written over a few hours. I haven't edited this at all so please be gentle about typos/tense changes etc. The fever just took me.)

Chrissy is your quintessential girly girl. She is Elle Woods. She’s blonde, pretty, cheerleader, very feminine and happy where she is in life, President of her Sorority with her besties by her side and her guy who is… well he’s as good as any guy could be, right?

Jason is handsome, rich, well connected, he treats her with affection and he humours her when she has some pretty wild, out there ideas.

But then it happens and they break up because apparently having a girly girl for a wife just wouldn’t look good if he’s gonna live his life the way he wants to. Lawyer, his own practice, running for office.

Apparently her blonde hair and boobs would hold him back which, what the fuck???

What does that have to do with anything?

They love each other, right? That surface stuff isn’t supposed to matter. At all! They’re supposed to be together no matter what because they… they love each other?

Well fuck that noise, no one tells Chrissy Cunningham she’s too fucking blonde to do anything which is a hypocritical ass thing to say because has Jason looked in the fucking mirror recently?

Different fucking rules, apaprently.

Well, no more.

She’s gonna fuck up law school right along side him and she’s gonna wear fucking pink while doing it too!

And like, everything is going fine.

Chrissy’s not stupid, she knows how she’s perceived by people before they get to know her.

Vapid, bimbo, perky, blonde.

Like that’s an insult.

It’s just harder now that she’s away from her girls, gays and theys back home. And everyone here seems to think that the best way to live their lives is to look boring as shit while doing it along with tearing each other down.

She fucking hates it, but she’s determined to see it through.

It helps that she seems to have found the one person on the whole of the fucking east coast who actually listens to what’s coming out of her mouth rather than just paying attention to the hair on her head or staring at her tits.

Robin is so strange.

She’s different in such a refreshing way, it’s like being able to breathe clean air for the first time in years.

And she’s fucking sharp. And sweet. And so, so comforting.

Chrissy would have never managed to survive the depression of those first few weeks without her.

And like, she’s not ignorant to the fact that Robin sometimes does look at her boobs but at the same time it just feels different coming from a woman than it does a man. It doesn’t feel so objectifying.

Instead of putting Chrissy on edge it makes her feel a little smug. A little proud of herself, it makes her feel attractive and desired in a way she hasn’t felt in a very long time.

Is that sexist? To prefer the attentions of a woman over a man when both do it just fine for her?

Chrissy’s not exactly sure, but she knows she enjoys it when it’s coming from Robin.

So maybe it’s a Robin thing.

Chrissy honestly thinks things are looking up for her.

Until Jason introduces Nicole.

His fucking fiancee???

It’s been, like, four months since they broke up.

Nicole hates her guts, she can tell. She thinks she’s some two braincelled idiot who got into Harvard on daddy’s dime and needs to be babied through the simplest of tasks while not understanding how condescending everyone’s been the whole time.

Chrissy fucking understands. She’s been through it all before, but back then she had people by her side. It’s all so fucking childish. The world already hates women enough, Chrissy desperately doesn’t want to be at another womans throat, over a man no less, but Nicole doesn’t seem to feel the same way.

She’s ambitious and cut-throat and dedicated and a little bit terrifying.

Apart from Robin, she’s on her fucking own out here.

And she needs something.

Something of home to bring some light back into her life.

So she gets in her car and just drives around the streets hoping something will catch her eye.

And it does.

Some tiny little hole in the wall salon with a pride flag out the front that she’s immediately drawn to because god damn it she misses her friends. The girls, the gays, the theys.

As soon as she pulls over she feels both simultaneously like she’s come home and she definitely won’t fit in here, but she’s so emotionally raw at this stage it all kinda ends up converging on her and now she’s standing in front of a mostly empty salon and there’s a guy looking at her and she’s just fucking crying.

Through her blurry vision she can see the guy approaching and she really fucking hopes this isn’t gonna turn into a thing because she just does not have any spoons left to deal with some creep right now.

But he seems to sense how he’s coming off because he becomes a little more effeminate from one step to the next.

“You okay, honey?” He asks, big brown eyes wide with concern and a hand covered in rings hovering over her shoulder, not touching. He has a cigarette in the other hand, held away to keep the smoke from reaching her, his arms covered in ink but Chrissy wants nothing more than a cigarette right now.

Or, that’s kind of a lie, but she’d love one in all honesty. She hasn’t smoked in so long.

The guy spots her eyeing it, sticking the cigarette back between his plush lips and needing to use both hands to pull his carton from his pants considering they’re so tight.

“Bad day?” He hands her one and Chrissy ends up breaking down all over again.

She tells him that it hasn’t just been a bad day, but a bad half a year, really. She tells him all about Harvard and Jason and her professors and Robin and by the end of her ranting they’re sitting back in the breakroom of the salon. They guy’s name is Eddie, she learns and despite his mean and scary exterior Chrissy thinks he might be the gentles person she’s met in this whole god forsaken city.

He holds her hands between his and listens to her. Actually hears her talk and pays attention and is concerned and attentive and she loves him for it.

He helps her find her confidence again, at least for the rest of the day. They commiserate about how they both stick out like sore thumbs in their communities and how people need to just kinda get over it.

He encourages her not to let the normies win, do go hang out with Robin, to go kick ass and she’s just wondering how on earth she can ever repay the favour when they hear

“Knock, knock.”

Coming from the front of the salon.

Eddie’s whole face drains of colour before immediately turning red and he bolts up from his chair, stumbling out of the staffroom and moving back behind the receptionists desk.

Chrissy gets to watch in real time as all of Eddie’s incredible confidence and easy lightheartedness disappears into a vat of nerves mostly hidden by cheeky flirtation as he twirls a lock of hair around his finger and bats his eyelashes at the Hot UPS Guy who looks equally as charmed.

When the guy, Steve, has to get back to his route, Eddie practically melts against the desk as soon as he’s out of sight.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who needs help.”

Eddie rolls his eyes at her but smiles anyway. “I had that handled just fine.”

Over the next few months, she and Eddie get closer, Eddie and Steve stay exactly where they were that first day and she and Robin are quickly approaching best friends level.

But Chrissy is starting to come to terms with the fact that maybe she wants a little more than to be best girly-girl friends with Robin and maybe she wants to stick her tongue down her throat about it.

The two of them are practically attached at the hip, spending all day at classes together, alternating between their respective rooms to study late into the night, ending up in the same bed together and waking up together in the morning.

Chrissy is almost, completely, entirely sure that this is all very not platonic but it’s so difficult to tell.

She’d be constantly sleeping over with her friends back home, hugging, kisses on cheeks, cuddling in bed or when watching movies, just girly things.

But this feels different. Is it different?? Or is this just how Robin is with all her female friends, the same way it’s always been how Chrissy was with her friends back home. How can she tell if it’s going from platonic to romantic??

And all of that needs to go on the backburner anyway because they’re being put on a real life, for realsies you guys case. And if they fuck up this case they could be at fault for someone spending the rest of their fucking life in prison for something they didn’t do??

Unacceptable.

And after Chrissy finds out their client used to be on the same cheer team as her? It was all over. No way was she gonna let her go to prison just because everyone thinks a pretty young woman couldn’t possibly love someone a little older than her.

Not on Chrissy’s watch.

But first she has to deal with Robin’s wardrobe because they professor is insistent that all the women wear skirts and tights and Robin is not having it.

Neither is Chrissy to be fair, so she takes Robin out to the most lavish place she can, decks them both out in the fiercest looking pantsuits they can get their hands on, refusing to back down.

It comes as a surprise to both of them when Nicole stands with them in solidarity as well and now their professor is both outnumbered and losing his arguments with only Jason on his side about this and they fucking win.

It’s only a small win but it still feels fantastic.

Riding her high of winning that small fight, she bursts into the salon and informs Eddie that he is going to either kiss or ask out Steve the next time he sees him and when Eddie reacts like she just said she was going to shave all of his hair off she refuses to hear it.

Because the thing is Eddie is pretty, really pretty and she knows that Steve knows it, but she doesn’t think that Eddie himself is really aware of it. And despite his prettiness, he’s all awkward elbows and knees.

So she gives him some tips and shows him how to highlight certain things about himself, the long legs, the tattooed arms, the hip bones. Even his cute little bum. She teaches him how to subtly pull at his clothes in conversation so some skin is exposed or his tiny little waist is highlighted. She teaches him how to use his eyes to go in for the kill.

He doesn’t seem to think it’ll work but she is almost certain it will.

And it’s confirmed for her when she gets a call later that night from Eddie who sounds fucking over the moon and completely bewildered by the fact that Steve likes him back??? Has done for months?? And they had some incredible dirty nasty sex in the salon after it closed for the night and how they’re going to the movies tomorrow??

Eddie swears he’s gonna send her the biggest fuck off fruit basket he can find.

Everything is looking up for her, especially after she has such a major win in court, figuring out one of the prosecutors witnesses had perjured himself on the stand (without outing him to the whole damn court, thankfully).

Or at least everything was looking up for her until she found herself alone in a room with her professor and she felt the energy in the room shift before it happened.

His hands were on her before she could do anything about it and she cracked him across the face for it before she could even think about what this could do to her legal career going forward.

Because that was the reality of it, wasn’t it?

Either allow herself to get assaulted or destroy her career before it even started.

She didn’t know when her priority had shifted from getting Jason back to actually pursuing this as a future career. But she had found to her own surprise she loved it. She adored it actually.

And now…

Now it would all be gone.

Jason had seen, of course he had and he was less than kind about it because apparently it made more sense that she had fucked her way into Harvard than had actually been smart enough to get there on her own.

She couldn’t stomach anything Nicole could possibly have to say to her but if the way she was glaring at Jason with barely concealed rage after that comment was anything to go by, Chrissy didn’t need to worry too much about that.

She just wanted to go. To get out. She needed to get out. And she would have gotten away scott free if Robin hadn’t been hanging around waiting for her.

Robin’s face broke into a bright smile but that quickly slipped away when she saw the state Chrissy was in. She was all sweet concern and care and affection but Chrissy couldn’t fucking deal with it at that moment, she couldn’t face her.

She couldn’t face Robin who would find out what a fool of herself she’d made believing in Chrissy, when Chrissy had thrown all of their hard work away.

Because no one would ever fucking see her as a person. She was just a piece of ass.

So she ran.

She didn’t even realise where she was running to until she was standing outside the salon doors again.

It was late, they were closed, of course they were, why was she here?

She was standing outside the door crying again like she had been the first time and it was all just so fucking stupid-

“Chrissycakes?”

She was enveloped in Eddie’s arms before she could even blink, being ushered inside and steered back to the staffroom, same as that first time.

There were beer bottles and take out containers over the table and Steve sitting at the table and oh, she’d interrupted something hadn’t she?

What a fucking way to officially meet one of her best friends new boyfriend right?

But they were so sweet.

They sat and listened while she spilled the whole thing, offering at different points to hunt down her professor for her or slash his tires or lose all of his mail or whatever and she was forced to giggle through the tears.

But she shook her head in the end. She was tired. She was sick of having to defend herself constantly.

She needed… she needed to go back to where she belonged.

And she was about to.

She was about to leave the salon, swear to keep in contact with Eddie because god damn it she loved him now and she was ready to run.

But then there was a hammering at the door and Chrissy poked her head out to see Nicole standing there looking like she was on a fucking crusade.

And… was that…?

Robin was standing behind her, looking like she was just trying not to get in Nicole’s way.

Eddie grumbled to himself about changing the damn salons opening hours if this was to continue but he unlocked the door anyway.

Nicole burst in all fire and determination, shoving her finger directly in Chrissy’s face.

“I hated you. But god fucking damn it if you didn’t prove to me that this is the career you belong in. And I refuse to stand by and see an admirable woman of your smarts and calibre get run over by some small dicked professor with a receding hairline. You’re so much more than that. So c’mon. We’re breaking through that fucking glass ceiling if it kills us.”

Holy shit.

Robin pulled her into a tight hug, warm and comforting and a little too long to be platonic, running a hand through her hair.

“We’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with Chris, but… you deserve to be in that courtroom.” She muttered into her ear and Chrissy could do nothing but nod into Robin’s neck.

She heard Eddie sigh behind her. “Okay if we’re doing this then… I need to make a few calls.”

A few days later Chrissy made her triumphant return to the courtroom. Everyone was there to support her. Eddie, Steve, her besties from back home that Eddie had called, telling them it was a friend emergency and so of course they all came right away along with Robin and Nicole bracketing her on each side.

And while she could tell the court wasn’t taking her rants on hair care very seriously, when she finally came out with the verbal crackdown, proving the witness was actually the murderer, the gasps from the gallery were enough to feed her for years to come.

When all was said and done at the celebration later that night, she found herself being approached by Jason.

He told her it was a mistake to let her go, to discard her the way he had and she agreed that yes it was. But his mistakes weren’t her problem anymore. And from the look of it they weren’t Nicole’s problem either.

Jason surprisingly took it well enough, mentioning that he never really felt the same passion for law that she so clearly possessed.

She wished him luck with finding what he wanted to do.

But now.

Now she needed to find Robin.

Chrissy couldn’t take it anymore.

So weaving through the people around her, she grabbed at Robin’s hand, dragging her away from Steve who she had become inseparable with and pushing her into the hallway.

Robin didn’t even have a chance to ask what was happening before Chrissy was on her, pressing her into a wall, holding her close with her hands on either side of her face, kissing her with so much longing and elation and joy and happiness that when she pulled away Robin looked completely dazed.

Robin blinked slowly a few times before her face broke into a wide grin.

“Me too.”

#buckingham #robin buckley #chrissy cunningham #robin x chrissy #buckingham fic #legally blonde au #buckingham legally blonde au #chrissy x robin #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #penny00dreadful #i dont know what happened #it just appeared #wild huh?

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 16 days

Text

dire v, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: The battle.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, this chapter contains blood, violence, and mutilation, world-building, the Dire = wolf people, species discrimination / prejudice, extended hospital stay; no smut for obvious reasons; non-idol!AU - werewolfAU / soulmates; werewolf!reader x blond, human!Jungkook; switches between JK’s POV, your POV, and the Dire Alpha’s POV (your dad), ft bodyguard!Kim Mingyu (from Seventeen, yes, I chose him bc of his build and his friendship with real life JK)

inspired by YOASOBI - 怪物 (Kaibutsu)

part iv

The Dire Alpha did not hesitate.

Once again, his world was falling apart in front of his eyes, but he had to be a leader, a father, a husband before he could be himself. For his people. For his daughter lost in a blinding, berserk rage. His precious pup was now the spitting image of his beautiful wife. For his silver wolf, his mate, his promised one love that he could never get back because many, many years ago he was forced to crush his wife’s throat with his own hands.

He had never cried so much in his life as he did during that one act.

That night long ago, the Alpha’s mate had attended a dinner party with the human Prime Minister, his wife, and prominent members of the Parliament. He was still haunted by those memories. Her darling smile. The gentle kiss on their daughter’s forehead before she kissed him deeply, promising them both that she would be home soon. He hadn’t wanted to go. He wondered every day if that would have made things different or if that choice would have rendered his child parentless. He wondered every day if he should have forced his wife to stay home and entertain their pup with playfighting or racing through the woods while he sourly tried his best to face diplomacy. But she was the kind, wise one that wanted to make peace with the humans. He had not hated them then, merely found them to be boring, but after that night, he loathed their existence. Loathed them so much that he vowed to stay in his wolf form rather than mirror their appearance.

A human had poisoned his wife.

Forced her into a senseless, rage-blinded, uncontrollable wolf transformation. She had killed the wife and a few Parliament members. Severely injured everyone else, including the Prime Minister and several police officers. Civilians standing in her rampaging path stood no chance. The monster had torn through the city and then through the woods, murdering his own people too, and he had run, run on all fours after ordering his panicked pup to imprison herself in the castle, skidding to a stop as he saw the pools of dark red blood that soaked into the earth.

His beautiful wife, so far gone that he could not get her back.

He fought.

He bled.

He howled, and the monster did not relent, not until his claws pierced the windpipe and blood poured into a ravaged throat.

He could not forget her eyes, fading as she recognized him ending her life.

She loved him until the end.

He saw it and he wept as he did it.

The humans had called it the Berserker event. A trembling scientist had explained it to him afterwards. A human posing as a chef had crafted a synthetic poison that they marinated the raw meat in. His wife was the only Dire present. It was a crime between human culprits and a Dire victim, but the Alpha insisted to be the judge in this case. He used everything within his power have the perpetrators turned over to him. The humans had relented, rightfully fearful of his uncontained vengeance. Everyone knew what would happen. He had killed the human and all his backers, making sure to make each of them suffer with his own hands. The records and research were destroyed with the agreement of both sides, and he had demanded the terrified human government to ban all future studies towards such things, commanding them to devise a harsh, detailed law so that this would never happen again.

Never, he was promised.

The humans disliked his attitude. To this day, he was sure they still spoke ill of him behind closed doors. The Alpha detested them in return. He watched his daughter grow up without a mother. He watched her question the world and their place in it. He taught her as he believed his wife would want to teach her, but couldn’t, all because of a group of hateful, conniving humans. He watched her fall in love with a human and thought, maybe.

Maybe it was time to put aside his personal biases for all he had left.

And now his flesh tore as his own daughter bit into his shoulder, forcing him to plant his fist into her lower ribs. Her body snapped, jaw instantly letting go with a hiss, paws skidding across the stones on drawn claws. Blood soaked into his black fur. Red painted over her bared fangs. Pain stabbed throughout him. It was nothing compared to the hole in his heart.

The Alpha crouched, ready to defend once more.

The silver wolf roared, only seeing him as enemy, and launched int the air once more.

He had no time to deduce whether this was vengeance directed at him or specifically targeting his daughter. It did not matter. She charged. He parried, and the silver wolf slammed into the ground ungracefully, immediately springing back up to attack again. Her jaws snapped in the air. He swung his left leg back and used the momentum to slam the heel of his palm into her chin. It should have immediately disoriented a sane fighter, but instead her head snapped back, throwing her body backward into a snarling tumble, before digging her back paws into the stones and swiping at his lower right side.

He grimaced as he felt claws slice into muscle.

He twisted, freeing himself with a labored grimace, and pivoted, sinking his teeth into her right calf flying past him.

His child’s howl of pain was worse than any open wound.

He unlocked his jaw and shoved with all his might, tossing her body into the wall.

A sickening crack impaled the frightened night.

The Berserker rose, growling, hollow gold coins for eyes.

The Alpha had no time to speak, but he prayed to the moon that she could feel his conviction. They locked claws, gashing teeth, rolling into the steps of the throne room, making them both howl in pain. He fought. The monster fought back, twice as savage, but the Alpha knew he was not alone. She was in there, somewhere trapped in the raging abyss, and as long as he believed that, as a parent, he could not give up.

He knew his daughter was in there, desperately trying to cage the beast.

The blood on her fur was only hers and his.

He managed to drive his knee into her underbelly and the silver wolf doubled over, spitting red blood onto his black fur. Her arm shot out and claws tore into his upper arm to bloody ribbons. He struck her again, at the temple, and the monster yelped, collapsing onto stone.

Rising.

The big black wolf exhaled, tasing iron.

He barked and threw himself at the Berserker.

The gold coins of her eyes were dulling in the center. From pain or recognition, he didn’t know. He struck her again, and again, blooming red over that lovely silver fur tipped in black, the obvious fusion of his genes and her mother’s, and the Alpha felt tears sting his eyes.

I know you are in there, Daughter. You must fight. You must win.

A suspended second of hesitation in those gold eyes poisoned with rage.

I cannot lose you, too.

The Alpha gasped as he felt claws bury into his other upper arm.

The harrowing sound of tearing muscle.

He fell to one knee, wrenching himself free with a savage roar.

She had come directly to him. To him., not to rampaging throughout the city, not to the homes throughout the forest. Between the origin point of this Berserker and the stone castle of the Dire Alpha, there had been thousands of beating hearts available to bleed. Thousands of bodies that could have been ripped limb from limb, but were not, all because the Berserker had a single, unrelenting goal to battle him first.

No.

Not the Berserker.

His daughter.

He had to believe.

He drew back his fist and punched his daughter right in the collarbone, hearing a despairing snap, sending her flying once more, desperately howling as fiery pain shot through his arm and chest. The edges of his vision flashed with spots of black.

Silver fur matted dark with red blood began to rise once more. Every breath stung. He was quite sure a few of his ribs were broken. He was not certain if he was able to stand on both legs anymore. He was not even certain if he could raise either of his mutilated arms, yet he would fight with only his swinging head and snapping teeth if that was all that was left of him. A chunk of her right calf was limp on the floor by their battered bodies.

The Alpha raised his head and howled to the moon.

The silver wolf by the wall whimpered, cowering under the tyrant’s call.

Her name called by a panicked, breathless voice.

A human voice.

He smelled the boy through the thick stench of blood.

The monster snarled, snapping its teeth to the intruder. The pain was so intense that his body was beginning to feel numb. The Alpha hunched, coughing up blood. The human was behind him, standing in the mauled doorway of the throne room. The big black wolf did not know how the boy got here, and he did not care.

“She cannot hear you,” he grunted, every word burning his lungs. “Back off, or you will die.”

“S-Sir–”

Even in this state, he rejected the disrespect. “I am the Alpha,” he boomed, his thundering voice radiating off the walls, dragging his arms that felt heavier than lead, curling his claws into fists by his sides. “I am the leader of this Dire pack, I am her father, and you will address me with the title of our customs if you wish to keep your head.”

His broken body was in no place to enforce such threats, but he was too proud a wolf to back down.

For his part, the boy actually listened.

“U-Understood, Alpha.”

The black wolf turned his massive head with effort, baring the half of his teeth that he could.

He was a young man. Dark hair bleached blond now in wild, windswept tresses. Round, startled brown eyes stricken with worry. The black silk dress shirt he was wearing reeked of sweat. The Alpha could smell the exertion and strain of his muscles. He must have run miles. The front gate was normally locked, but perhaps a terrified servant had let him in. Or someone from his human security patrol.

The black spots at the edges of his vision were staying longer and longer. It didn’t matter. Time was running out.

“Please leave,” the Alpha wearily commanded.

The Berserker dragged its claws along the ground, slowly turning its body towards the human. It could no longer walk, but it could crawl with excoriating huffs of agony.

Her mate did not move.

“I hope you can understand that I can’t,” the human choked out, bright eyes glassy with tears.

Before the Alpha could muster the strength to shout, the monster spoke.

“… Fa… Father…”

The fur at of the nape of his neck raised. Chills stung along his aching spine.

Despite his best efforts, his heavy voice broke.

“Yes, Daughter?”

Each breath rattled like decaying leaves crumbling to dust.

“If… If I… no longer remain…”

The glaring gold eyes were dulling and brightening like flickering light bulbs. The monster flopped, convulsing as if electrocuted, one of the front paws swiping the air. It must have happened very quickly, but time became a cruel mistress with a boning knife and no anesthetic, imprinting the torn image into memory. The putrid stench of blood. The horrible sound of claws defiled by stone as his daughter continued to drag the broken body against its will.

“Re… main… t… true…”

Every cell in his body screamed in despair. Out of all things.

He truly was a disappointment as a father.

“If you do not remain true to yourself, you no longer serve your purpose,” he breathed out, ashamed.

The Berserker roared, hurling the broken body of his beloved daughter towards the human. The black wolf clenched his jaw and pressed his knee into the stone, so hard he sliced it open, throwing the entirety of his weight towards his head, aiming for the other blood-soaked wolf, and he toppled to the floor, his torn-up body refusing to obey to his command. He saw the flash of gold before he hit the ground in a wildfire of acute pain, right onto one of his shredded arms.

The sound of grinding bone.

Freely bleeding, gaping cuts on skin.

Jeon Jungkook raced forward, catching the battered, human body of his mate. She looked up at him, the gold in her eyes fading, morphing a dull, unfocused emptiness. Her face was torn up. Her body was torn flesh and darkening bruises. Her skin was rapidly losing color. Scarlet red blood soaked into his clothes.

“H… Hey… Jungkook…?”

He sank to the floor, vision blurring as tears blinded him. Her body was so, so heavy, but Jungkook held on desperately, unable to let go.

“I… I won…”

A hollow gasp shook against the stone.

He raised his head to see the bloodied body of a large, muscular, older man with pale skin and long, sweeping black hair drenched in red. His pointed black ears were saturated in blood. His haggard face was etched with deep scars along with the fresh gashes. His once built arms were clumps of pulverized meat at best. His eyes still shone gold, but a true pearlescent tone, similar to the rays of the moonlight.

“Pup…”

Behind him, he heard sirens and the trampling of footsteps racing towards them.

The dying man sprawled onto the floor remained regal, making eye contact with Jungkook as he spoke.

“Take care of my daughter, will you?”

The nation held their breath, human and Dire combined.

Everything hurt.

Everything hurt so fucking bad.

Before your vision blurred once more, you spotted a clump of greasy ash blond hair by your left side.

Every day afterward was difficult.

He hated this form. It was demeaning. Despite that, he was well aware that it was much easier for medical staff to treat him in this form. He was still hulking and unnaturally heavy but still lighter than his wolf form. His weight did not become his problem until physical therapy began. Fuck. A member of his human security guard, Kim Mingyu, worked as his liaison between medical staff. His tall and heavily built frame made him one of the few humans that didn’t look comically small next to him. And, thankfully, he did not waste nor mince words. He was also usefully distractedly handsome, causing all of the nurses do a double take before gasping behind their hands at the towering form straining the hospital bed for all its worth. Mingyu was young, but authoritative enough. And, for some reason, the young man physically aided the nurses without being asked.

Very strange.

He didn’t dwell on it.

The blessing of the moon resulted in an accelerated recovery, but his arms had almost been shredded by the battle. He did not ask for more. Instead, he silently seethed under a blank mask of indifference. He once caught a nurse attempting to touch one of his pointed black ears. He shot her a look and she threw herself out of the room, muttering apologies. Physical therapy was not better. The male therapist was too transfixed by his black bushy tail. He thought about requesting another one, but at this point he resolved to simply regain his strength once more so he could get out of these sterile walls.

It was Mingyu who had bought the boy to the castle.

“I sincerely apologize. When I arrived on the scene, I was assigned to restrain him. He was very emotional. He broke free and attempted to carjack the vehicle I arrived in. I advised him to stay back. He threatened to break my window. It was a hasty decision on my part. I tried to make the best judgement I could, Alpha.”

His only response was an impassive grunt.

“I appreciate your generous understanding.”

He didn’t. However, he could not deny that the kid had guts. He could also not deny that their arrival was quite timely. A stroke of luck despite the circumstances. Mingyu had told him his name. The Alpha knew it now.

He just didn’t care.

He could not strangle him for laying hands on his daughter with the current state of his arms.

A task for a later time, then.

The Alpha had one request, and that was for his sleeping daughter to be placed in the room next to his.

When he was alone, he was no longer able to hide behind his misplaced anger.

When he was alone, he silently wept. Looking to the moon for guidance. Praying for her mother to forgive him for what he had done to their daughter. His silver wolf was not here, because of him. His daughter was fighting for her life in her sleep, because of him. He was a failure to the two he loved most. His body was in so much pain and it was nothing compared to the thought of knowing very well that he might come out of this alone. He worked to make his body stronger, and yet.

What was his worth as a leader if he failed as a husband and a father too?

In nightmares, you fought.

You fought your inner wolf. You fought until you bled, until the sound of broken bones, until your entwined souls howled in suffering, until memories were nothing but rivers and rivers of blood. Blood, and night. Endless darkness threatened to swallow you. You fought against that too, swimming against a reckless tide, chasing flashes of blinding fluorescent light. Sounds were muffled and distorted in this void. You swore you could hear something, but you didn’t know what they meant. Soft cries by your bedside. Words. A voice called your name, but every time you reached out to it, it slipped between your fingertips like disintegrating petals that disappeared into blackness.

Above you, a silver wolf hovered, scolding you that it was not yet your time.

An unnatural silence.

Screams of pain.

Someone was holding you, moving your limbs. Lifting your body. Fleeting whispers, hoping for no bed sores. The darkness swallowed you up again. You struggled through the sluggish murk without knowing why. It weighed down on you. A shaking breath pierced your lungs, but something foreign and plastic was shoved down your throat. You drowned again. This time, brutish claws gripped around your forearm and pulled you up.

A silver wolf.

No.

A silver wolf with black-tipped fur and a crescent moon-shaped pattern of white on its back.

The wolf stared at you, standing on a pool of black water.

You stared back, unsure what to say. Opened your mouth. Not a word came out.

The wolf lowered onto her hunches, preparing to strike.

Your purpose.

If you do not remain true to yourself, you no longer serve your purpose.

Your purpose. Not a demand pushed onto you by the elders. Not an accusation from the frightened. Not a direct order from the big black wolf. No. The big black wolf stood by you despite disapproving of your lofty ideals and silly dreams. You learned the world could not, no, should not be molded to your liking as you observed the humans.

Then, what was your purpose?

One percent.

To make this shared world a place worth living, one percent at a time.

You couldn’t change it all. Yet one percent seemed so attainable. If, somehow, you convince a few to work towards making this world one percent better, then maybe they could convince a few on their own. It was hopeless, perhaps. The silver wolf growled. Hopeless didn’t mean impossible. At least one person believed in you. Soft, ash blond hair. An encouraging smile with big white teeth. Dark brown eyes that crinkled every time he laughed, wrapping his strong arms around you.

You opened your eyes.

The bright fluorescent light stabbed your retinas.

You squinted, highly displeased.

Your vision slowly unblurred. An unknown intuition told you that you were mostly in one piece. You couldn’t quite feel it yet. Your limbs were that of a blown-over scarecrow. There was a blanket above your shivering body. And paper. Papers, plural. You squinted harder, trying to make sense of the characters. They were printed-out news articles. Many of them, scattered over you. And a clump of ash blond hair connected to hunched shoulders. A pallid, tattooed hand loosely over one of your rather thin ones. It must have been your hand, because it was clearly attached to your body, but your mind was having trouble connecting the dots. You tried to breathe and half-choked on a plastic tube jammed down your throat.

You wheezed.

Jeon Jungkook shot off the hospital bed.

You clearly read one of the headlines of the articles on the bed. It was dated years and years ago. A rising pins-and-needles sensation was beginning to ravage your half-awake body. You heard clattering and the faraway noise of nurses rushing into the room, rapidly speaking to each other, but all you could feel was a deep, deep sadness.

Your eyes raised.

You could not tap your heart twice, so you imagined the motion, remembering the arrowhead pendant your father wore around his neck, and looked to the moon, asking for its guidance, hoping she could forgive you for what you had done. You wanted to cry, but your tear ducts had not been in use for so long that nothing came out.

Thankfully, someone had the decency to let you know you had not killed your father.

Jeon Jungkook stood by a bowing hospital bed that was struggling to contain the hulking mass of a man still heavily bandaged with various tubes hanging out of him. Despite his appearance, the black-haired man was alert and breathing for himself. He had piercing, pearly gold eyes, big hands covered in scars, and an expression that could kill all lesser creatures.

At the moment, Jungkook was feeling like a lesser creature.

He had done nothing for endless days but go to work and then immediately come to the hospital to lay by her beside. Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung did their best to bring him food, changes in clothing, and even ask to change shifts so Jungkook could sleep in his own bed, but he refused. His previous security guard then became busy with police investigations. Time fused together. Hours to days to weeks to months, he stayed by her side. Brushing her soft silvery black-tipped fur every day. Helping the nurses lift her up. Learning to massage her muscles and move her limbs to avoid joint stiffness and bed sores. Living for any sign of her waking up.

His moon did wake up.

She did, and then was immediately dragged back into unresponsive slumber. It was a good sign, the doctors said. Her body was healing well too. She was no typical coma patient. Whatever was keeping her eyes closed was had nothing to do with biology. Jungkook didn’t know anything about the moon, prayers, or any god, but he wished on all of them to bring her back to him.

The Alpha had summoned him, specifically.

They stood in silence, with the Alpha in his human form facing him with a blank face and gold eyes gleaming with murder. Age had only made him more dangerous. He was naturally an intimidating man and did not try to mask it. The resemblance was uncanny despite his daughter taking after her mother in general appearance. The shape of their eyes was the same. Although the Alpha had jet-black fur and larger ears, they had the same curvature as hers. The shape and taper of their tails was similar as well.

“Pup.”

Jungkook straightened even more, trying not to squeak. Her father had a gruff, grating voice even in human form. Maybe it was the stress. Probably not. The Alpha was likely perpetually grumpy.

“I don’t like you.”

Jungkook didn’t know what to say to that so he just kept his mouth shut. Those predator eyes narrowed.

Then, the Alpha let out a heavy exhale.

“Take the folder on the visitor’s chair. Read it.”

Jungkook craned his head to his left to see a dark blue folder crammed with papers.

“I don’t have to like you for you to be a good man.”

He turned back and those pearly gold eyes seemed tired in that stern, lined face. There was surely something more animal than human radiating from him. And yet. The Dire Alpha raised his head and the action prompted Jungkook to do the same. He did not feel particularly strong, standing next to the heavily injured leader of the Dire, but the look the older man was giving him made him feel strong for some reason.

“In due time, you may find yourself in a position you feel unqualified for, pup. But even the most educated are all living life for the first time. Do not lose that person that she has believed in to this day.”

Feeling a tightness in his chest, Jungkook nodded.

He walked over to the folder and picked it up. He hadn’t said anything this entire time. There wasn’t much to say. But, before he left, he stood by the door and turned back. The Alpha had not hunched over. He remained upright, regal, tracking his movement.

“Will she wake up?” Jungkook asked quietly.

The leader became the father.

“She will.”

The tension in his shoulders subsided.

“I would get that hair of yours touched up so she has something nice to look at.”

Ouch.

“Y-Yes, Alpha.”

It had been a long time since you had seen your father in human form.

“Are you supposed to be standing?”

Your father looked even stranger in a hospital gown that didn’t quite fit. Someone had draped a silver robe over his big shoulders. The same person probably had brushed his long jet-black hair and tied it into a simple ponytail at the base of his neck. His tall, triangular ears were glossy black. Pearly gold eyes gazed down at you. He was attached to a metal pole with a hanging IV bag.

“No.”

A tall, large man stood in the shadow of the door. He had shorter, swept-back black hair, sharp dark eyes, and a tan complexion. He wore a white dress shirt, slim black tie, and black slacks. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up. You recognized his identification tag. RJ's Private Security Services. He must have been assigned to your father. He noticed you watching him, and bowed respectfully in return.

You glanced at your father.

He didn’t react.

The Alpha’s arms were heavily bandaged, all the way up to his shoulders. You looked back to the bodyguard.

He offered a small, knowing smile.

Your eyes went back to pearly gold ones. He offered nothing. You tried to suppress your own smile, and failed. Your father continued to act like the silent comprehension was not happening on his watch. You breathed in. It hurt. The Alpha noticed, internal pain darkening his expression.

“I’m sorry, Father.”

His gruff voice softened. “Do not apologize.”

You looked down at your bedridden, battered body. “I…” Your voice was raspy and thin from the prolonged use of an endotracheal tube. “I tried to fight it. If I was stronger…”

“You were poisoned. Poison is not generally something anywolf can fight off, pup.”

You remained silent, fighting back tears.

“The culprits were attempting to mimic the substance used on your mother. A drug to induce forced transformation among Dires. Their operation was to introduce Dires of low socioeconomic status to recreational hard drugs, capture them once dependent, and use them as their experimental subjects. We still do not know if the transformation is meant to be permanent or at will. We also do not know what they intended to do with such a drug, but all options seem unpleasant. The authorities have informed me that they estimate about seventy-percent of their operation has been shut down. They are working on the rest.”

Your brows furrowed together. “Low socioeconomic status… That is most of the Dires who have chosen to integrate with human society.”

There was a heavy pause.

“Yes, pup. It is.”

You felt a pang of regret. The realization sank in. “They targeted me on purpose. Because…”

“You would pose as a formidable threat,” your father agreed. “Your status among the people is also key. The result would be political chaos. Riots, protests, an uproar among humans to exile the Dire. It is not lost on me that this fringe group seems to want a repeat of the situation with your mother. At that time, we were spared by chance due to there being victims on both sides.”

Neither of you could bear to look at the other.

It hurt too much.

“And… And my lack of hesitation for executing the threat.”

You gripped the flimsy hospital blanket. This was all your fault. If only you had stayed away from the humans. If only you hadn’t tried to help them during full moon nights. If only you kept it in your damn pants.

“They would not have had access to me if I had stayed in the castle. If I–”

“Do not apologize for living your life, Daughter,” the Alpha sternly reprimanded. “Do not let strangers turn you bitter to your true self.”

“You almost died!”

You tried to shout back but your voice couldn’t withstand the outburst. It cracked with emotion, and for a brief moment you were simply a wounded puppy arguing with the impenetrable authority of your wolf father. And then the lines on his face, aging and scars, silenced you.

The Alpha looked tired.

He spent his entire life displaying his strength. Deep inside, you believed that he would live forever. He lived up to the illusion that he would, until he couldn’t. You stared into those pearl gold eyes, and knew. He had never said it. You had always known that he had silently placed all the blame on himself. But he also made sure that you would never feel the pain of losing another parent. He did everything, even now, to preserve that belief. The Alpha knew he would die one day. But he did not remind you.

He couldn’t bear to do so.

Silence.

Then, your father continued in a gentler tone. “Your appearance changed their original plan, it seems. There were many references to a much larger operation in the works. Multiple Berserkers attacking multiple cities. But the drug had not be perfected yet. A few of the members had decided on their own to expedite the prototype while your guard was still down. They hastily took their first opportunity. I believe they were aiming for many causalities,” he added. The corner of his lips raised lightly. “They did not expect you to come home.”

You slumped back into the raised hospital bed. “I don’t know why I did, honestly.”

“Your unconscious choice saved us all.”

You frowned and couldn’t help but quip back, “I don’t feel very saved, Father.”

He smiled.

You could not describe the amount of safety you felt upon seeing your father’s smile in human form.

He leaned down with a lot of effort and place his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

“My daughter,” he murmured, his deep voice straining. “Please do not forgot that who you have chosen to become has saved many lives, both human and Dire.”

You closed your eyes, too, trying your best to hold the tears in.

“I am proud of you,” your father said. “So very proud.”

The Dire Alpha was a big man. A towering wolf. A leader to everyone’s eyes. In this moment, he was a father comforting his child in the Dire way, forehead to forehead, calling to the heart as the moon watched from high above. You wanted to hug him, but it was impossible at the moment. Your father would likely not appreciate it at all. He also couldn’t stop you either. You would do so eventually.

At the moment, though.

He grimaced. Suddenly, you felt another presence. The guard had stepped up to the bed and gently straightened your father, hoisting him up with more ease than most. His ID swayed as he bent over, and you caught the name. The Alpha shot him a displeased look. The man didn’t flinch or shake his head.

You said it for your father. “Thank you, Kim Mingyu.”

The young man looked startled despite his intimidating frame. He bowed again in apology. “Just doing my job.”

“Against my father’s will, I’m sure.”

Mingyu was trying not to laugh. “I am doing my best to make sure the Alpha is well taken care of.”

Said big bad leader was curling his lip in mute distaste. You couldn’t resist to annoy a little bit more. “Please do. This is the most groomed I’ve seen my father in years. You must tell me what products you’re using on his skin.”

“Ah, it’s a brand called L'Occitane–”

The Alpha growled.

Both you and Mingyu shut up immediately.

You could feel the violent irritation radiating off your father.

“I will escort him back to his room,” Mingyu hurriedly coughed.

“I’ll try to visit you soon when I can, Father.”

He barked back, “Don’t.” You weren’t going to listen, of course.

“Uh, hi.”

The taller man in a dark blue sweater and mid-wash jeans nodded to him. “Good evening.”

Jungkook frowned and patiently waited for the stranger to finish his selection. An unsweetened green tea and a Coke Zero. Weird combination. The other man bent over to pick up the drinks from the vending machine. He had broad, built shoulders that were obvious even through the sweater.

“Er.” Jungkook cleared his throat. “This might be a weird question but I, uh, been seeing you around here lately.”

The stranger in the blue sweater straightened and looked down at him.

It was late at night. The two men were standing in the snack area next to the currently closed hospital cafeteria. There were a few staff walking past them, but most visitors had largely gone home. And a hospital wasn’t exactly, um, socialization central. The taller one tilted his head.

“Are you hitting on me?”

Disgust immediately overtook Jungkook’s expression. “Ew. No. I’m not.”

The tall man blinked in puppy-like confusion. He had black hair mostly swept back, matching dark eyes, and sun-kissed skin. He stuck out like a sore thumb due to his height and striking muscular frame that bordered on bodybuilder. Unlikely to be fashion muscles, though.

“I’m only asking because I’ve seen you in a suit during the day,” Jungkook muttered, walking past to puzzled man in a fluster, punching for a simple hot coffee. He tapped his card against the reader. “But sometimes you come at night dressed in normal clothes.”

“I’m off the clock.”

The machine made a strange hiccupping noise. Jungkook looked down at the opening. Nothing. His eyebrow twitched in annoyance. Seriously? He pressed the hot coffee button again with twice as much anger. The vending machine crossly beeped back, demanding him to scan his card again. Then the machine lurched and there was a loud clanging.

A can of hot coffee tumbled down into receiving area.

Jungkook’s eyes shifted.

The stranger backed up from the side of the vending machine with a shrug. “Happens sometimes.”

“T… Thanks.” I guess.

“I’m surprised you’ve only now noticed.”

He cracked open the can of coffee and began to chug it down. Fuck, he needed that. “Huh?”

The big man tucked the canned tea into his elbow, holding the Coke Zero in in his left hand. He pointed to Jungkook with his right. Okay, that was slightly rude. “You’re the Alpha daughter’s boyfriend.”

Apparently, word had gotten around. A sting of irritation prickled through him. “She didn’t do anything wrong. She was poisoned. I was there. Do you want proof?”

The stranger scratched his head with a half-pout. “Hm? I know.” He had a deep voice but there was a hint of childishness to it. Maybe he was younger than he looked. “I was the one who prepared the reports and news articles for you to read.”

Now Jungkook was the one who was confused. “Wha?”

The large hand extended out to him. “My name is Kim Mingyu. I’ve been assigned to protect the Alpha during his stay here.”

He stared at the other guy. This suddenly became awkward. “Jeon… Jeon Jungkook.” He hesitantly reached out. It was a firm handshake. He straightened up a bit so as to not appear as tired as he felt. The Mingyu guy looked like he was full of energy. Then it clicked. Oh. Wasn’t this the guy I was yelling at that night? Jungkook winced. Mingyu smiled faintly as he caught on. Shit. “Um… I think I threatened you… some time ago.”

“You did.” The Coke Zero was clicked open with a single finger flick. “You were beside yourself at the time. No hard feelings.”

Jungkook puffed out a cheek. “I should be the one saying that.”

His gulps were rather impressive. The soda can lowered. The other man let out a relieved sigh.

“If you’re off the clock, then why are you here?”

Those dark eyes raised. There was a reluctant pause. And then Mingyu said, “Typically family stay bedside to offer extra luxuries and a sense of normalcy. His only living family is in the hospital right now. He ordered his servants to stay home. The Alpha does not like to feel crowded.”

He calmly explained but Jungkook felt as if Mingyu stabbed him.

He hung his head. Well, he was certainly making some type of impression to his future father-in-law, although it was doubtful that his presence would offer any type of comfort. Still, some random guy was doing more for the Alpha than he was. Even Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung were handling the investigation behind the scenes. His lips parted, trying to think of a way to defend himself, but nothing came out. He felt a tap on his shoulder. The contact prompted Jungkook to raise his gaze.

“I see you’ve finally gone to the hair salon,” Mingyu chuckled lightheartedly. “You no longer look like an abandoned trumpet.”

Jungkook squinted, unsure if it was an insult or a compliment. He decided to change the subject instead. “Does the Alpha consider you a friend?”

“I doubt it.” A bit of roguish amusement danced over Mingyu’s strong features. “He’s pretty grumpy most of the time. But it’s hard for me to do nothing when I know I am capable.” He chuckled. “I don’t know. I guess he hasn’t really done anything too terribly good for us humans, yet…” There was a faraway look in his dark eyes. The silence dragged for a little before he continued. “He is someone’s father. And one day, if I’m lucky, maybe I’ll be a dad too, so I hope that when the day comes that if I too need help, someone who barely knows me tries their best to help me, you know? Plus, I’m one of the few people that can lift him by myself, heh.”

Jungkook clutched his can of hot coffee and felt slightly ashamed.

“Yeah…”

They stood in the hall, leisurely sipping their drinks.

“Um.”

Mingyu turned his head to glance at him.

“What’s your workout routine?” Jungkook asked. “I’ve been trying to get stronger.”

You made a sour face and mumbled, “Walking sucks.”

Jungkook’s arm steadied your waist. “The nurses said it might be painful for a while.”

He was warm. You willed your limbs to move. They responded sluggishly. You felt like a newborn pup who had just discovered walking. Your right leg especially had a limp. At least your chest hurt less. Sweat broke out over your shoulders as you shuffled in the hospital courtyard, leaning against Jungkook. He was solid and patient, gently encouraging you one step at a time. Moonlight streamed down. There was no one out at this hour when you felt the strongest.

“Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

“I slept a little before I came over.”

You tugged them to a nearby bench. Sitting down felt too good. Ugh. “You don’t need to visit every day,” you chided.

“Yes, I do,” he argued back, not accepting your suggestion.

The worst part was that you didn’t have the energy to fight him. You wished to feel better sooner rather than later. A sigh rattled through your ribs as you stared up to the waning beacon of the night sky. You knew he knew now.

“It might be better if you returned to your simple life, Jungkook.”

He rubbed your shoulder. “You know I can’t do that.”

You had to try and talk some sense into him. “Maybe find yourself a girlfriend who isn’t in danger of being poisoned by crazy people.”

“Or maybe crazy people should stop trying to poison my girlfriend,” he grumbled. “I think the investigation is going well, at least. Taehyung tries to update me when he can, even if I don’t really understand.”

You felt his fingertips brush your ear. You sighed, defeated. It was an impossible task, anyway. “I told you not to follow me. That was very stupid of you.”

He smoothed your fur. “In my defense, I wasn’t trying to follow you. I just thought… I thought your dad would know what to do. Or maybe… Maybe I wanted him to know right away.” Jungkook sighed and buried his face in your hair. “I was selfish. I was scared. He’s the strongest Dire wolf, isn’t he? I could wait for the police, but what could they do in a situation like that…? I had to take the chance.”

You gazed at the moon as Jungkook held you for your comfort and his.

“I ran to him too,” you whispered softly. “All of me ran to Father, praying he could save me.”

You closed your eyes.

Your body was healing and yet guilt hurt more than any physical pain.

“I almost killed him.”

Droplets squeezed from your lashes, sliding down your face. They felt cold and horrible and necessary.

“And I realized I had felt only… Only a fraction of what he did when he was forced to kill Mother.”

Your entire body shuddered. Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you, not too tightly, but tight enough, and you felt wetness by your neck, soaking into the collar of your hospital gown. Your head bowed against his as the quiet sobs ebbed and flowed. You missed Mother even though she was only a distant memory now. You wished she could have watched you grow up. You wished you could have watched her grow old. You wished you could have introduced Jungkook to her and maybe gotten her on your side before chancing the meeting with your big bad wolf of a father. You almost laughed at the absurdity of the what-if, but you were too overcome with sniffles to do so.

“I... I w-wouldn’t know what t-to do… If I lost you…”

He shuddered against your ear and kissed the side of your head fiercely.

“My moon…”

You, too, wouldn’t know how to shine without your sun.

You cried in Jungkook’s warm embrace.

The Alpha was fascinated by the weighted hand grip strengthener Kim Mingyu provided him. He was slowly but surely returning to gradual use of his arms again. The daily physical therapy focused on regaining his mobility and flexibility. His hands, of course, had suffered. Broken bones, torn muscle, and atrophy from lack of use. His grip was not as it was, which was difficult for him to admit. The young man had noticed. The Alpha was not going to take it, as he did not enjoy charity, but it was too intriguing to resist the little object.

And so, the old wolf man sat on the hospital bed, distracted by the small exercise tool as the human named Mingyu brushed his tail.

Most assumed the Dire Alpha had an entire crew for personal grooming, but he did not. He found such processes patronizing. He was not a domesticated dog. He cleaned himself and did a fine job of it. When this freedom was taken from him, he did not want to cooperate with the hospital staff, and only did so when he realized it was impossible to bathe himself on his own. The nurses were efficient, sterile, and quick. But it was Mingyu that came by after his daily shift with additional products. At first, the Alpha was very annoyed by this, until the young man asked, somewhat hesitatingly, if he would like his long black hair properly washed.

The Alpha was taken aback by this.

“Do as you like.”

The old wolf had to admit he found it to be – mildly – enjoyable.

Not that enjoyable.

Mildly.

Hiring a personal bodyguard was not necessary as the hospital had its own security. However, it was better to be safe than sorry. And, again, the Alpha despised multiple staff crowding around him simply to maneuver his body. He would rather have one very strong, well-trained aide. Such a person would only be needed during the day, as that was when the majority of medical tasks would be performed. Dires were also generally more alert at night due to the moon’s influence. Night security patrolling the halls of the hospital was safe enough. Therefore, it was unnecessary and unpaid for Kim Mingyu to be here.

He just was.

The Alpha did not have the energy to chase him away, anyway.

He switched to his left hand with a pained grunt and continued his reps as Mingyu stood up and removed the excess loose fur from the brush. They did not have deep conversations. In fact, they rarely spoke to each other at all. From the corner of his eye, he saw Mingyu replace the pillowcase on the specialty pillow he had bought him a few weeks ago. Hospitals were not exactly hotels.

What a strange young man.

Mingyu held out the green tea he had purchased earlier, a white straw sticking out of the can opening.

The two males did not look at each other as the Alpha drank half of it in one go.

It was not accurate to ask if the human was looking down on him. None of these simple tasks held the air of one holier than thou. Nor did this feel like pity. There wasn’t any unpleasant invasion of his personal space or privacy either.

It felt like having a son.

Some Dire, like humans, very much cared about having male offspring. There was a time the Alpha was like that too, but after the loss of his wife, he completely abandoned such thoughts. In fact, he discovered an immeasurable pride in training his daughter to be the best fighter in the pack other than himself. And so, he did not care much for a son nor think about it, until this awkward untold relationship had begun to develop between him and this random security guard.

The Alpha did not think he was a very lucky dog.

Maybe karma was overdue.

“You should go home and get some sleep.”

Mingyu was folding the blanket he had brought last week and exchanging it for the same one of a different color. Extra large to accommodate his bigger frame. “If I wanted to get some actual sleep, I would be more successful here than at home.” He seemed both amused and annoyed. “My roommate plays video games at night. He’s an online streamer.”

The wolf leader could only guess what that meant.

“It’s better for him to broadcast at night since most people work during the day.”

Well. That was logical, at least. He rested the gripping device by his knee. Mingyu wordlessly offered to place it on the table by the bed for easy access. The Alpha handed it to him without objection. The human massaged his hands. It was odd but not despicable. The increased blood flow helped his tired muscles relax after using them.

“What do you get out of this?”

Most times, the Alpha would add human after such questions. It was a subtle sign of his eternal loathing of humanity. By no means did this interaction with one change his general distaste for them. He still mostly hated them.

He simply hated this one a little less.

Mingyu worked up to the wrists. They didn’t make eye contact. He spoke frankly.

“If I can do it and it’s the right thing to do, I will.”

They let the conversation die. The massage pivoted to key joints that released tension. Afterward, Mingyu produced an electronic reader and prepared the stand on the overhanging surface of the hospital bed so it was mostly hands-free. The Alpha had learned much about scientific advances, as he believed it was important to understand how the human world was changing. However, technology was not a daily part of castle life. Moreover, he was not a wolf with the patience to sit and read a book. Mingyu explained how to use it.

“When my dad was recovering from a back injury, he liked this better than watching television. I asked him for a few recommendations, but I think he went on a bit of a download splurge. Hopefully something in here interests you.”

A fascinating device. The Alpha did not hear Mingyu leave for the night.

Day by day, Jungkook witnessed her resilience and fell in love with her a little more.

If he was honest, it was a confliction of emotions. As he watched her recover, he felt the strain of his own mortality a little more. Being human seemed like an imprisonment compared to the strength of the Dire. She was now walking with barely a limp, unaided, the effort only obvious by the bite of her lower lip, and Jungkook was acutely aware that he would have never survived what she did. Yet there was this sense of overwhelming pride that overcame those unwelcome feelings. He held onto it, hoping that it was how he truly felt.

When his moon stumbled, Jungkook always steadied her.

He would feel her breath against his cheek.

And when she looked at him, he forgot all of his insecurities.

She scolded him lightly yet again. “You should go home and get some sleep.”

“I can’t sleep without you in bed with me.”

“Don’t lie.”

He would stubbornly tuck himself in the blanket and glare from the armchair until she laughed, admitting defeat. One of those nights, she admitted the heavy truth.

“I thought about letting the darkness take me.”

“What…?”

Her silvery ears tipped down guiltily. “I don’t know… I don’t know how I will live up to a legacy far beyond me,” she sighed, holding onto the blanket tightly. Her eyes cast down. “But I couldn’t do it. Not after…” When she finally looked back to him, he swore the gold flecks in her eyes sparkled. “How could I give up when you didn’t give up on me? Even after I told you not to.”

“How could I give up?”

Before Jungkook knew it, he was out of the chair and cupping her hands. His eyes stung. He did not want to cry.

“I’m so weak.”

She petted his palms soothingly. “You’re not–”

“I am.” He hung his head, wrapping his fingers around hers. “Don’t lie. I couldn’t survive what you did.”

Frustration laced into her expression. “It’s not the same. You cannot compare us like that.”

“The only reason I didn’t die from that poison is because it wasn’t made for my species,” he cut in, staring into those gold-flecked eyes that knew much better than he did. “And, despite all that pain and the literal attempt to hijack your sanity, you still managed to go to the one place where you had a chance. You didn’t hurt a single person along the way. You managed to fight it off.” He shook her hands a little, quickly stopping as she winced. “I’m just a guy. Just a guy who really, really loves you. You’re right. It is not the same, you’re right.” Despite his best efforts, Jungkook was getting choked up. “I know it wasn’t only me that made you fight so hard.”

He pulled a hand out to place it over his racing heartbeat. And then he turned his wrist to place it over hers. Her eyes widened as he spoke.

“You are fighting for our future. Humans and Dires,” Jungkook breathed out.

He believed it too, with his entire being.

“Your purpose will lead you to become a legend.”

She blinked at him. “Did you hit your head?”

Jungkook drew back, confused. “What?”

But then her hand raised. Slowly. Cradled his cheek, drawing him back down.

“I don’t want to do any of it without you.”

He let out a sheepish chuckle. “I think I’ll be too busy spending the rest of my life paying off this hospital bill…”

She tilted her head. “What are you talking about? The Alpha is the primary shareholder of this hospital.”

He was mid-laugh when her words hit him. “Wait, what?”

Her hand lowered from his face to touch her cheek. “Uh, isn’t it obvious? When the Dire began living among humans, our people were unable to find adequate healthcare out here.” She was speaking as if the city was the boonies. “They would have to return to the forest, which is not acceptable if it was an emergency. Once my father caught wind of it, he worked to find ways to provide accessible health centers for the Dire. But, ah, as expected, the pack doesn’t like the idea much. Try to keep that information to yourself. Don’t worry about the money, though. I’m sure the hospital will care of it.”

A muscle in Jungkook’s eyebrow twitched. “Rich people…”

“I can hear your mumblings, you know.”

“I know you can.” He stuck his tongue out. “Good luck punishing me.”

She grinned wolfishly.

“Good idea. I’ll keep a mental tally.”

“Isn’t it wonderful to be discharged together, Father?”

The Alpha grunted.

Her mate was standing next to his daughter trying not to look at him. She looked almost her usual bright, silvery self. Up until this day, the Alpha had remained in his human form. He was finally out of his hospital gown and into the loose robes of the Dire. She, too, was wrapped in silver. With a glance, one could tell her right calf would never look the same. He felt his shoulders lower. Then he felt a tap on his loosely bandaged upper arm. The Alpha’s eyes darted to his daughter’s soft smile.

Two survivors in battle.

She grinned when she had his attention. He spared her his faint smile that he gave no one else.

“What’s he doing here?” she asked.

All three turned to stare at Kim Mingyu, who was standing behind the Dire leader and scratching the back of his head. The tanned, muscular man was in a white tank top and blue track pants, holding a black duffel bag.

“Ah…”

Mingyu pointed to Jungkook.

The ash blonde pointed back at him.

“We were… We were going to work out.”

His daughter looked confused. “Since when are you two friends?” She sent her father a confused look. The Alpha shrugged and continued to look disinterested. She caught Mingyu’s expression of concern towards them. The big stoic man did not grant any further explanation.

“Uh huh…”

She was going to pester him about it. The Alpha was not looking forward to that interrogation.

“Father.”

He looked down, and for a fleeting, beautiful moment, she looked just like her mother with her teasing expression and lust for life.

“Let’s run.”

The grind of bone-on-bone.

For a moment, there was a skipped heartbeat of hesitation. The memory of their last transformation haunting them. A torrent of jet-black fur. A whirlwind of silver tipped in black, complete with the white crescent waterfalling down her back. The bright moon gleamed overhead, awaiting them. The fear was replaced by exhilaration. Instinct that refused to be suppressed. From two legs to four paws, in sweeping strides that sped past passerby in howling wind, they ran side by side as father and daughter. Free.

Two wolves, as they were meant to be.

The two men watched them run amongst unraveled silver. Even fellow nurses and doctors had stepped out to witness the beauty of nature at work. No one said anything, too in awe of who and what the witnessed. The two blurs became one with the dark night, enthusiastic barks melding into the sound of the wind. Triumphant, alive, and joyful.

Then Jungkook smacked the back of Mingyu’s head. He had to reach up. Annoying.

“Ow!”

“You better have not been staring at her when her clothes came off.”

“The hell are you talking about?”

“I saw your head shift.”

“You’re delusional. And that makes you the weird one, staring at me instead of your girlfriend,” Mingyu pointed out, massaging his new sore spot.

“Grrr.”

“So scary. Not.”

He ran before Jungkook could strike him again. Might as well start the workout with some cardio.

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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seat-safety-switch · 8 months

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A lot of radio stations have gone away in my part of the world. Corporate greedheads decided that they're just too expensive to operate, so they shut 'em down. Nobody was left to leave by then, though. DJs in distant castles were running four, maybe five "morning zoo" programs at once. Harried technicians were on contract. The offices sat empty, unlocked, and available.

The first inkling we received that something had gone wrong was an ill-advised radio broadcast. Across the city, a bunch of auto-tuning FM radio receivers trying to avoid commercials latched onto the old, dead frequency, now very much alive. Alive with what? Alive with the sound of the microphone on a local DJ's vacant desk, left open to the elements while a magpie and a seagull fought over the decades-old remnants of the sandwich he was eating at the precise moment he was fired.

Somehow, through some trick of giga-corporate ultra-consolidation, they had simply forgotten to sell the offices to someone else. Maybe there was no one else who wanted a radio station. Soon, a community of weirds developed around the area. At first, it was just the usual kinds: poets, beatniks, scooter enthusiasts: people used to scuffles with the law and with, at best, a wilfully incomplete understanding of the law. We waited for them to get arrested, but it never came.

The cops didn't care. No corporation was screaming at them that their rights were being violated. The newspaper that would have bullied the Chief was part of the sweep of radio stations that died. More people followed into this great communal experiment, self-organizing themselves into a replica of the ancient radio schedules. Call-in shows. Top-40 pop music. Long discussions into the night about which recreational substances should be legalized. It was glorious, but then it ended.

Turns out that Uncle Ted's Copper Theft Hour got one of its guests a little bit too worked up, and he decided to do a live demonstration right in the studio. The transmitter was down for two weeks, until someone could steal enough metal from Home Depot and an overturned self-driving drycleaning van to bring it back to life. By then, though, the passion had gone out of it. All the weirds, now unable to force their opinions on others without response, had scattered to the four winds, starting lawn care businesses and mimeographing crank newsletters at the public library.

It was the end of an era, but I don't regret anything about it. I got like seven dollars in wire out of that place, which was enough to buy a working stereo from the Pick N Pull so I could listen to the show.

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kittyscupcakeandbunny · 11 months

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SET ME FREE x MIN YOONGI

[MAFIA AU]

PART FOUR

Welcome to my world

Side Characters: Kim Namjoon/detective, Jeon Jungkook/detective, Jung Hoseok/consigliere/mafia member, Park Jimin/rubber/mafia member, Kim Taehyung, Kim Seokjin/FBI.

Warnings: extreme violence and use of curse words, Smut, mentions of blood, death, robbery, killing, guns, torturing, fire, porn (a lot of it), toxic yandere men, crime, violence, possessive behaviour, unhealthy relationships, gore, stalking, sharp objects, illicit drugs, alcohol.

SUMMARY: You made it. Now a police intern as you always promised to your father before he died, you were more than happy to finally be able to help people like he did. But the law was not what you expected to be like. You did not know how lonely it would be for a young woman to grow her career in this kingdom. Having to take care of your 18 year old brother wasn't easy too and things just got a lot worse when you've met Agust D. The king of the mafia Min. He sure knew how to make a life turn into a hell hole.

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF TORTURE AND EXTREME VIOLENCE (at the end of the chapter), READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. It will be signaled with “ +++” once it starts and ends in case you want to skip it.

<< Before

————————————————————————

Bang.

The men fall on the ground, hand over his shoulder covering where i shot him.

I put the gun down still holding into it hard, the smell of gunpowder in the air around me I couldn’t move a single feet away from it as I watched the men on the ground, he was one of Namjoon colleagues I remember seeing his face a couple of times on his office the men probably knew who I was soon he’ll tell Namjoon about my betrayal and soon everyone at the stink will know what I did. The surprise to see me there on his face when I shot him was still there, between painful groans as he kneeled down he couldn’t believe his eyes and neither could I believe. I was tired of running away from everything, I’ll clean my name once I get Yoongi behind the bars for now I don’t mind letting the flames burn me. I know who I am.

The cold air felt painful in my lounges as I took deep breathes, still not believing what I did. He wasn’t the one I should be shooting but right now it was between me and Yoongi and if I have to get my hands dirty to save my family I will, I’ll never back down from it anymore. This is the person I’ll have to be I survive so I’ll embrace. I’ll dance with the devil if I must, I’ll let him play the song he wants and when the right time comes I’ll put him down to his knees.

I could see the reaction on his eyes as he stood there in front of me the smirk on his lips falling as his eyes looked into mine. I could guess he thought Jack was the one behind the shooting it was clear on his face how unexpected my actions were to him. We both stood there not believing what I did but, here we are now. The devil smiles to me.

He walked to me eyes not leaving mine, i only realized my hands were shaking when his own held them to take the gun out of me. I don’t dare to say a word and neither does he, the sound of the fire burning a head of us being the only thing we could hear I watched it as it was the only source of light between us and the men I shot. My mind was blank completely empty I couldn’t think of an escape to this for now, what can I even do for now to fix this? What will Yoongi do to me now, was all I thought about as I stared back into his eyes he looked behind me and nodded to Jack a look I couldn’t decipher, a language of their own. Not saying a word he took my arm in his hand and turning me to leave but I stop in my tracks instantly swallowing hard as he looked down at me still holding my arm, we are just gonna leave the men like that he already knows me anyways why would Yoongi take me with him now? I was still in shock at my own actions, crossed so many lines already what could he possibly still want from me now? Mouth opening but closing words nowhere to be found, completely lost in his eyes that burned over my own the flames behind me reflecting on his orbs as if I was staring inside hell itself, the devil only smiled to me. The hand around my arm closed over my waist now holding me against him he took me back to the car, I saw Jack making his way around the black car already getting back inside.

Yoongi opened the door letting me get in first as he sat beside me, I stared back at the men on the ground as Jack stared the car marking a turn to leave. Yoongis presence beside was the only thing keeping me from looking behind, the silence inside the car was so loud I could barely breath the calmness in the air after Jack began to drive the car out of there was making my skin burn, looking over the window as the view changed from a construction site to more and more nature the moon shined bright over us no clouds present in the sky the summer heat was still rising even at night time.

Red lights shining for far away we drove past a few police cars going where we left. Heart immediately beating faster as I looked behind at them, Namjoon must be in one of them he must know by now that his plan have failed and soon we’ll find out why his plan he worked on for so long didn’t work out. I looked down at my hands on my lap, what has my life turned into at this point I didn’t know. I just knew I wasn’t myself anymore, I could feel it deep inside me like the flick of a switch had turned on my head.

In my thoughts two words seemed to repeat like a song, keep going. When I drove here with them I keep saying it, when Jack first threatened me I say it, when I went to downtown for the first time I say it. Now it only seemed like a curse, for how long do I have to keep up with this? I almost killed someone tonight. When will it be enough?

Regret was a small words but it held so much weight over me now, if only I had stopped this stupid investigation when Yoongi warned me about but I was greedy something about him kept alluring me towards him like a damn magnet. He was a criminal I must take him down that’s why I fallowed him, that’s why I went to hell to get him, I told myself that everyday but the days went by where I kept thinking that and the further away from my own lies I went. For my brother I would shot someone, I thought that I would for sure. I looked beside me Yoongi seemed focused on the road a head of him, the thought of him getting hurt in front of me sensed chills down my spine as much as I didn’t wanted, as much as I forced myself into it I couldn’t stop this feeling from creeping out of me anymore.

What in the fuck am I doing right now?

I turned back to my window seeing the big extravagant gates the car stopped before they opened completely for it to enter I notice my motorbike was still parked there were I left, I thought at this point Jack would come out and opened the door for me to leave and let me make my own way from here but the car didn’t stop for me to leave and he only drove further inside the building behind the gates.

He drove slowly towards a large, luxurious mansion stopping in front of the parking area of it. There were security guards at every corner of the mansion heavily armed. If it wasn’t today I would be impressed by it but tonight wasn’t one I would look at it proud, I don’t think I ever will. Beside me Yoongi opened the door to leave taking my wrist in his hand as he did so, I looked back at the car seeing Jack didn’t move at all. So he wasn’t coming.

Fallowing Yoongi towards the entrance of the mansion I heard Jack drive off, heart racing at the thought of going inside alone. I knew he wasn’t the best to be around but something about being just me with Yoongi tonight felt different, my mind was racing with thoughts I couldn’t help but go over every possibility or any scenario that was going to happened. Was he going to kill me? Lock me up in his basement? Would he use me to hide his tracks? As much as I thought it didn’t make any sense for him to dirty his own hands with me and not let Jack end the job, what else could I expect from him? He wouldn’t save me this time. I fuck up for every one by shooting that detective.

The doors where opened by his security men, he never let go of my wrist as we entered the extravagant and luxurious mansion. The place was spectacular every detail spilled the most high quality classy design and materials I’ve ever seen, stone statues guarded the entrance on the outside and inside the floor was a shiny black marble with golden details, the entrance was large and had two extensive stairs on each sides of the wall that connected to the second floor, in the middle was a statuette of a woman cover in red roses as water fall on her body down a small fountain underneath it the large windows were covered by a deep dark purple curtain.

As we walked up the stair many times i wanted to ask him, but my mouth didn’t move I couldn’t find my voice. Mind still running the engines but no action, deep down I was afraid to just be right. He took me to a corridor then turned to an opened meeting room, I heard water falling as we entered the specious room and my eyes turned to see a an entire glass wall with water falling on it completely amazed by it, I felt him let go of my wrist making his way to the bar on the left side of the room not knowing what to do I only stood there as he filled two cups with what I could guess was whiskey.

Something felt different as soon as we stepped inside this room, it felt odd how he looked so calm the entire time moving around like nothing happened. Sure to someone like him this was just like any other Tuesday, he must’ve seen and done much worst things in this life time for a shotgun to impress him. The fact that he looked so intense but calm was driving me insane, I could tell he had something under his finger something to use against me but didn’t know what. He turned towards me handing me the second cup with alcohol, the scent was strong as soon as I brought it up to my face I felt my insides burning. Not looking up to him only the dark marble floor under me as I gulped down the bitter liquid, I could feel his eyes burning over my figure as he just stood there not saying anything.

Not knowing what else to do, I gulped down all the content in my cup. The strong taste of alcohol making me regret it immediately, as I force myself to swallow it noticing my reaction seemed to amaze Yoongi as he smirked at me drink the thing as if it was just water and not gasoline. Surely he didn’t brought me here for a drink, not after what happened tonight. It looked like he was supposed to meet someone else there but, Namjoon got that guy before and played a trap to get him.

- why… did you brought me here, I’m sure it wasn’t for a simple chitchat? - i asked him, not looking at him but at the now empty cup in my hands my thumbs sliding over the glass my throat still burned from the bitter taste.

- Humm… I thought you knew that already - he said, even his voice sounded much deeper this time - that’s why you’re here, or should I have left you there?

He took one step closer, I could see his black shiny shoes as I still didn’t dare to look up at him. I couldn’t face him not knowing what he was thinking, what he wanted from me.

- I thought Scarlet told you after you handed me so nicely her card - he said amusement dripping from every word he said.

The mention of the card brought the memories from the night I first went to Paradise, Scarlet must be the red head woman I meet that night who lended me the poker red queen card from Paradise but just what did that had to do with me? Not long after that night he came back to the station sliding the king of spades on my pocket. Since then I couldn’t ask him directly what it meant.

- well she didn’t, so what does it means? - I looked up as I asked him regretting it immediately as he looked me up and down - do explain… Agust D.

I pressed the last sentence, the name rolled down so naturally out of my lips it fitted him perfectly. That’s who he was after all. He only chuckled drinking the rest of the brown liquid on his cup putting it down over the coffee table on the center of the room making his way towards me he closed completely the distance between us. In a second his hands were closed around my neck as he pushed my body against him, I gasped letting the cup fall from my hands as it then shatter against the floor.

- who am I? - he growled against my lips, his eyes burning over mine.

- You’re… Agust d - I stated breathless, feeling heavy and completely out of breath he chuckled and I felt the on his breath whiskey hitting my face.

My entire body burned as he left my neck to grab my jaw his own body completely glued to mine as he pushed me against the wall, holding me to look at him bodies burning over each other’s, my mind was fuzzy all I could hear was the beating of my heart on my chest as I held my breath feeling a sharp cold tip of what i could only guess was a knife against my ribs. Body going alert now, eyes looked on his burning ones I couldn’t say a single word complete petrified under him. I knew he wouldn’t bring me here for a drink, I did all he enacted me to do now what else could he need from me? I was just another pawn under him.

I shouldn’t have said his name, I should have lay low and ignore that or at least lie about it until I could leave. He kept his identity a mystery all this time, now that I know him he’ll kill me to protect himself.

This could be my chance to escape, I could fight him if only my body didn’t felt so heavy and my mind so fuzzy. All I could feel was his heavy breathing against my face and the strong scent of alcohol mixed with his intense woody cologne I knew very well from the moment I saw him at my station, the more I looked into his eyes the more my body seemed to give in.

This isn’t me. Something must be wrong with me. I would never let him corner me like this not after just one cup of whiskey at least, unless he did brought me here for drink just to take me out quietly.

- what did you put in my cup?! - I spat, accusing him. He just chuckled chest moving up and down as he took one deep breath before holding my chin tighter.

- why? Feeling a bit overwhelmed? - he murmured over my lips, my heart racing completely losing my breath as I swallowed hard.

- you did - I stated helplessly, eyes felling heavier.

- you think I would need that? - he smirked.

I felt the cold point of the knife move up on my side then down on my hip he teased the sharp knife against me, hand pushing my hair away from my face leaving my neck visible to him as he held the knife against it. I gasped feeling it burn over my skin looking away from him, hearing the deep chuckle coming from his chest.

- this…. - he murmured over my ear, leaving my chin to put his hand over the wall beside my face his hot breath over my skin sending chills down my hot body - is all you.

I turned back to look at him, he had a knowing smirk on his lips. He couldn’t be serious here no way in hell I’d be this work up over him he must’ve done something I’m sure this isn’t natural at all, how could I feel this way when he’s clearly threatening my life right now? This burning feeling running over my skin can’t be just an attraction, I refuse to believe it even now with my eyes unconsciously focusing over his lips heat flowing all over my body as I felt him push my body against the wall, his body completely covering mine.

- you’re lying… - i breathlessly said, nervous and turned on at the same time - why I’m here? You said you don’t hurt woman.

He only chuckled, his breath dancing against my skin as well as the knife he held against me. He purposely pressed his thigh between my legs separating them as the sharp tip of the knife slides down my neck between my chest stoping at my belly. He held my chin forcing me to look at him, something burned in his eyes.

- why? - he whispered against my lips - because, you’re mine now.

His lips brushing over my neck, the sharp knife dancing over my body side to side over my belly completely taking my breath away from my lunges.

- and you didn’t even know what you were getting into - he laughed, chest vibrating as he chuckled - yet you brought the card to the owner of her, didn’t you know? That’s how you become a pet at Paradise?

What?

I’m sure I asked him. My mind felt so over the clouds I could barely tell if I did say it or not right now, I was completely lost on him to understand anything about what he was saying. I couldn’t say anything else, mind completely collapsing once he cuts open my shirt hand holding my chin up kissing me so harshly and deliciously my body was giving in instantly, I couldn’t hold myself anymore moaning against his lips feeling him bite into my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood out of it. He groans sticking the knife into the wall right beside my head, any time that would scare me to death but now it only makes me grab into him harder feeling his hands sliding down my back slowly with his short nails carving my skin through my shirt stopping at my butt, he gabs me hard before sliding them to my thighs holding me up against the wall.

Separating our lips only to growl over my ear.

- I’ll fuck you till you can’t walk tonight - he said against my neck - don’t you dare tell me to stop.

Shit.

His lips moved from my ear to my neck, leaving harsh bites painfully marking my skin then soothing it with wet kisses over it down to my chest. I closed my arms around his neck holding him closer sliding my hands over his shoulders to grab a hold of his hair, feeling the vibration of his moan against my lips locking into a deep kiss tongue dancing against mine sending waves of pleasure through my whole body as he kept running his hands over my back now sliding them under my shirt he tore opened, i cling over him as he held me up instantly pushing us away from the wall walking around the room never once did his lips left mine even when I felt him lower me down against the soft fabric of the black sofa.

Still over me he stops, forehead against mine as he moves his fingers from my hips stopping at my bellybutton then sliding down to open my jeans taking them off of me ever so slowly, sharp eyes locked over mine the entire time our unsteady breathes intertwining. All i could do was watch him move above me completely hypnotized by his every move.

He sits on his knees in front of me, eyes running over my entire body as he pushes his hair back. Tounge running over his bottom lip, he takes of his black blazer throwing it on the floor, then his tie slowly button it down his white shirt.

- look at you… - he murmured, opening the last bottom. - all hungry for me…

He leaned himself over me again, hand cupping my check as his thumb slides over my botttom lip. I can only stare amazed into his brown orbs, body shivering from desire craving his touch so bad it hurts completely burning every cell on my skin. Not wasting any time as his lips capture mine between his own lips, hands dancing over each others body scratching and gripping harder each second as we bth completely lose ourselves on the burning desire that grows hotter between our bodies

Gripping into his hair as he lowers his body fully against mine, i shiver at the feeling of his skin burning against mine mind losing any last bit of sanity i had left. He slides on arm underneath my waist pulling me closer making me arch my back up, another hand holding the nape of my neck tightly as he slowly grinds his hips against mine. A moan into his wet lips feeling how hard he is over me, completely out of breath already as he holds me tighter every time he moves against me chasing his own pleasure.

His lips leaving mine to plant kisses over my chest as he ruts into me, his voice vibrates through my skin as he groans against me completely drunk in his pleasure. Teeth sinking into my skin as he held into me harder, my whole body burns in the ecstatic feeling of his hands sliding over my skin as he made a path with his lips from my chest to my neck leaving a long lick there before he grabs my hips up against his crotch terribly slowly. Pressing his hard cock over my sweet spot as he leaned back, hands still glued to my hips i watched as he sat between my legs bitting into his own bottom lip eyes closed as he enjoyed hi own pleasure with the most pleasant expression ever as if he could ecstasy from the feeling at any moment. He looked like a sex god above me, how his muscles stiffen every time he grinned on me harsh breathes leaving his lips each time.

I could feel the wetness between my leg sliding down my ass already, feeling needier the more the teased above me completely drunk own the pleasure. I watched as he slowly began to undo the bottom of his pants sliding so fucking slowly the zipper down, eyes locked with mine as a smirk formed on his lips. I could bearly held myself from complete collapsing into his madness the more i waited for him, sitting up i grabbed him by his pants pulling his lips back to mine as he groaned on my mouth holding the waist line of his pants i began to punch them down until they stop at his knees. Bitting into my bottom lip he stops the kiss eyes burning over mine as i take the chance to feel his skin sliding my hands up from his knees till his hips, swallowing his breaths against my lips feeling beyond into him.

Lips brushing into mine as he held my neck pushing me back against the sofa hovering above me using his knees to spread me opened for him, he slides his left hand down between us and i feel like gasoline being set on fire as he slowly slides his head between my lower lips over my clit a moan escaping my lips at the delicious stimulation, his own eyes closing as breathy moans leave his lips. Bucking my hips up against his as a wave of pleasure hit me right through, with a groan he completely slides his dick inside me.

Feeling overwhelmed by the delicious feel of him filling me up so fucking good I immediately close my arms around his neck, with one hand he supports himself up above me as the other one keeps me still by the neck. Eyes burning into mine one last time before he takes my lips harshly between his, that scar never looked so good on him before then it does now with pleasure filling every little bit of his brain. Seat beginning to drip from his forehead over mine, my moans being entirely swallowed by his hungry mouth as he began to move his hips against mine slowly but hard.

Feeling myself pulse around him as the waves of pleasurable stimulation fills every cell on my body, lips leaving his to beg for more against his mouth louder each time as the pleasure becomes almost beyond control turning ourselves into two animals starved for each others touch.

More. I moaned against him. More.

Fingers gripping at the nape of his neck, grabbing his hair feeling almost desperate for his touch even the smallest amount was enough to send me into over drive, the wet sounds between our legs getting louder as he starts moving faster. Sweat covering our bodies like second skin, holding tighter each other as the pleasure becomes more and more intense. His hands brushing deliciously against my sides, stretching every inch of skin with his short nails to stop at my hips were he grabbed harshly my own hands holding into him just as hard as i felt my own orgasm, slowly creeping up between our bodies.

More.

I begged and he gave me all i wanted. Until i feel the overwhelming sensation of pleasure fills every muscle of my body completely going into ecstasy as his movements slowly stops, feeling all my wetness drip down my legs.

I went so high i bearly could make any word he speak afterwards, feeling even more aroused at the sound of his raspy deep voice above me send me into another dimension.

- turn around and get on your knees, I didn’t come yet.

Shit.

He did told me he wouldn’t stop.

I tried my best to move between the highs of pleasure still dancing over my sweaty body, slowly turning around on the sofa as i got on all fours in front of him. I felt so high on pleasure, completely drunk on it i could bearly made out when he grabbed my hips holding myself up into a sitting position, back glued against his naked chest i gasped at the feeling shivers sliding down into an electric wave of stimulation.

His heavy breathes hitting the back of my neck as he teasingly begins to brush his finger over my sides, leaving wet kisses on my shoulder as his short nails left marks above my ribs down to my waist stoping at my hips as he pulls me more into him opening my legs more. I could hear him pumping himself against me as low moans left his lips over my skin, one hand sliding up over my body grabbing my chest a moan leaving my own lips as he the pleasure of his touches kept sending hot waves of ecstasy between my legs. Wetness sliding down my parted legs soon being filled again by his hard cock, a groan immediately leaving my lips as my body shoot up in pleasure being held back down agains Yoongi once i ease down his length feeling his hands wrap around my body as he begins to pound into me again, lips immediately searching for my neck.

The overwhelming pleasure filling my cunt making whimpers and moans vibrate through my throat, as the warmth swells over my entire body again. Grinding down against him at an increased speed, feeling he hit deep within my soaking walls grabbing into his thighs behind me carving my nails on his skin as he peak the pace even more pounding harder and faster into me, desperate moans filling the room intertwined with his deep groans. The sensation of his fingers moving slowly up and down over my clit only adds to the pleasure of the increased speed, his groans getting louder the harder he pounded into me aggressively moving his hips against me causing me to lean even more over his chest from the sensation becoming far too overwhelmed.

The heat builds in between my tights immediately tensing around him, nails digging harder into his skin.

- tel me how good it feels - He groaned over my ear, a deep chuckle coming from his lips.

I feel my head up in the clouds, bearly able to make a single sentence head spinning in confusion as he kept moving his fingers between my slick cunt.

- say it.

Body completely giving into his becoming to weak from his pleasure, feeling another chuckle vibrating through his chest against my back. His hands sliding over my body to grab my chest as he continued o pound into my wet walls, feeling them tense more and more around him. The burning feeling growing desperately each second spreading all over my body once again, i held into his hands over my chest for support as i felt another orgasm building up between my legs.

- Yoongi… - his name slips deliciously from my lips - so good, so good…

I can’t bearly recognize my own voice full of desperation and pleasure, fallowed by moans and whimpers of his name. Holding tightly into him as the pleasure builds up hotter and hotter from his length buried between my thighs deep inside me, finally letting myself go feeling the intense warmth fills my entire body again reaching another high almost falling into the sofa but being held by Yoongis arms immediately, he lazily chuckles behind me over my tired body.

Body steal pulsing with pleasure as i let him hold into me thrusting sloppily into me as he rides his own orgasm, feeling his wetness filling me up completely till he drips between our legs increasing deliciously my own pleasure.

By the time he pulls away, my whole body is trembling. Feeling him carefully lay me down against the soft sofa, my breathing slowly beginning to slower down still too high up in the clouds to move away. Knees feeling sore underneath slowly resting.

An intense feeling of tiredness filling my trembling body, the last thing i felt was the ghost of Yoongis lips over my back as he traced my spine carefully up and down until a fall deeply into a slumber.

[…]

The bright light hitting my face as I became more and more conscious slowly waking up from my sleep, head feeling heavy from sleeping in a bad position I groaned feeling a sharp pain shot behind my neck, time should be the last thing I worry about at least for now but I can’t help thinking about it as I lift my upper body up stretching myself up. I massage my neck trying to release some of the pain, still a bit out of it from just waking up I try my best to fix my messy hair the white cover sliding down a bit as i continued to move, a cold feeling hitting my naked body under the sheets I hold the cover back up to cover my chest looking around the room I was in not remembering when I came here. Taking in the details I couldn’t the night before the walls where a dark gray, no decoration, no photos hanging on them minimalistic to is finest. He didn’t seem like the type of guy who would have candles and a fluffy carpet to decorate his room, obviously. A sight left my lips as I lay back over the soft mattress of the king sized bed, the room was spotless though everything was so clean as if he had just bought it, the though that maybe he bearly spend anytime in this house passed through my mind. Men are all the same, they buy large houses just to fill more their egos in the end their hearts are the ones left empty.

With a sight I lay down again feeling something hard under my head my body instantly becoming stiff at the thought of him, I turned to the side only to be meet with his face right next to mine. He had a hard expression over his features even while sleeping although the light shining from window made his features look soft almost like a completely different person. The scar on his face shined under the sunlight, it had healed a lot more since the first time I saw him. It wasn’t fresh as I could tell but he certainly got it not long ago. He looked so beautiful right now stealing my breath away at the sight of his calm face so close to mine, his milky white skin so soft under mine. How could he look so calm and peaceful right now, people like him always amazed me. Criminals like him.

The memories from last night swimming back to my mind like a brick, I didn’t know what to feel in this circle of fire after all the things I’ve done deep down I knew the damage was already done, i kept thinking that every time almost like a silly cry for mercy. I could try to make things better and say I was only being threatened by the Agust d but, at the same time it would be a lie it would only mean I’m just like one of them. Lying and manipulating people so I can escape the horrible things I’ve done. I can’t go back to who I used to be. I can’t be the girl Namjoon wants me to be, I know that. I don’t want to go back and right now I couldn’t feel a single drop of remorse or guilty.

Am I becoming one of them?

The only things that comes to my mind is that I just know, I want to go to him.

Mindlessly I gave into the temptation to touch his skin, he was so close to me now I needed to feel his skin again. After last night I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget what we did, the need to touch him was bigger then any self control I had in my body Yoongi was like a drug. Once you have a taste you can’t stop yourself and want more. Slowly moving my hand towards his face I softly traced his check down to his jaw. He didn’t move a bit, seemed to be still deep in his sleep. I could still taste him on my lips, just the thought of his hands over my skin were enough to send me into a mess. What was about him that felt so deeply addictive?

I carefully traced up over his check but before I could get any closer to his scar my wrist was quickly held away from his face.

He opened his eyes slowly, staring into mine sharply. I gulped down nervously.

- don’t - was all he said, in a low deep voice.

I slowly moved my head up and down signaling “ok” shivers running down my spine as his sharp eyes kept looking at me, hard expression over his soft features. Same eyes that burned over mine last night, It was so hard to maintain eye contact with him I could never guess what was going through his head. Did I upset him? I couldn’t tell, not when his eyes were a pool of honey and coffee shining so beautifully under the sunlight to stare deep into mine.

- you’re awake - I whispered, feeling completely out of breath.

- the whole time - he said, I bite down on my bottom lip deciding to look at his hand that still held my wrist away from his face. Warmth burning at my cheeks.

I was surprised he even slept here after last night, I couldn’t remember how we got up here the last thing I remember was falling asleep after he sanded me into an overdrive of pleasure. Now that I was back to my self the thought brought a nervous feeling to my insides, I liked being in his presence but I hated how much I liked that. Especially knowing he wasn’t the type of men to care enough about woman after he sleeps with them. I shouldn’t have let this happened, now this was just another card he could use against me in the future. I must keep myself strong in order to survive here this wasn’t the world I was used to after all, it was his world.

I tried to take my wrist from his grip but he didn’t let go, making my eyes run back to his nervously. He pressed my arm over my head lifting himself up to rover over my body completely, his skin burning against mine just like last night as he lays his body over mine. The feeling of his naked body against mine sending a shiver down my spine making me arche in desire instantly, the little movement of my hips bringing a knowing feeling of discomfort enough to make me knowledge how my body was still recovering from last night but still in desperate need of touch again.

He held both my wrists above my head, lips falling over my neck kissing and biting over the marks he left last night.

- you regret it - it wasn’t a question he murmured against my skin almost like a cat purring, I gulped down the feeling of warmth that rise up my body at the sound of his low voice, releasing his face from my neck to stare at my face his eyes scanned the marks he left on my skin with a smirk on his face.

- no - I whispered back, feeling how dry my throat was.

- lies…. I know that look on your face - he said, a smirk on his lips and now this wasn’t Yoongi anymore - want me to remind you how much you liked last night?

I gulped down not being able to say anything, this was Agust D now.

I couldn’t say anything, my mind would say something and in a second my body would betray me for his touch completely under the addicting need of his touch.

In a movement he sat down between my legs pushing his long hair back as the bed covers falling completely from our bodies exposing our naked selves to each others gaze. My eyes scanned every detail of his chest I couldn’t last night, we were so starved for each other i bearly had any chance to simply appreciate his presence. My heavens, he was so beautiful. This isn’t good for my self control.

How his milky skin shined under the dim sunlight that graced us through the slightly open curtains, enhanced every detail over his body, every vain in his arms and hips. I felt completely tipsy over him, just the sight of him was enough to turn me into a mess so thirsty for his taste.

- I guess we could… - he traced my knee slowly down to my hip bringing me closer, stealing a gasp from me at his harsh movement - I don’t mind reminding you again.

His eyes seemed to be capturing every part of me all spreed for him, heat burning over my cheeks. He lower himself down in a second my own hands coming in touch with his chest at instinct, the feeling of his soft and cold skin over my hands making me melt in want under his kiss stoping a few seconds after. A smirk danced over his lips as he looked down at my hands over his chest, the only thing stopping him from completely falling over me.

- I should tie you up next time - he said, I couldn’t hold the surprise at his words not being able to make out any sane thought afterwards.

He chuckled at my reaction grabbing my thigh over his hip fixing himself between my legs, his touch making my entire body heat up with desire electricity flooding through my veins every time his fingers brushed over my skin making me anticipate every moment he goes further. With his fingertips ghosting over my hip, it’s only a second before he dips his hand between my parting thighs. I gasp a the touch feeling my insides clench around nothing, making him chuckle above me my hands sliding up from his chest to his shoulders grabbing the skin. Goosebumps running over my skin from head to toe as he keeps a slow rhythm running his finger up and down teasing my clit, waves of pleasure instantly spread across my body making me bite my lip. Not being able to keep my eyes opened as the pleasure completely melted over me at the feeling of his fingers circling over my clit caressing so damn slowly.

The tension begins to build so deliciously all control I had was completely lost now, replaced with an intense desire to have him inside me. Every touch is electric, pleasure filling every inch of my body until my legs start shaking. Digging my nails into his skin as the waves of a bliss roll through my body.

- do you still regret it? - he mumbles over my ear.

I bite into my lower lip to keep a moan down as he slips inside me one finger, holding tighter over his shoulders as he uses his thumb to move over my clit while still moving inside me. He chuckles at my reaction with his other hand holding my chin up making me look at him, lips brushing over mine his eyes burning with desire.

He stops his movements bringing his fingers back up over my lips caressing my bottom lip with his thumb covered on my arousal, his breathing is faster eyes looking heavier now he kept biting and licking over his lower lips. I didn’t took another second and sucked on his thumb, tasting myself on him he groaned deep and needy pleasure displayed over every corner of his face in a second he replaces his thumb with his tongue inside my mouth, I moan against him rolling my hips up on his feeling how hard he already is over me. Stoping only to adjust himself between my thighs, the feeling of his hard cock slowly sliding inside me sending waves of pleasure all over me making me arch my back. Starting out slow as he groans over my ear I grab into him tightly closing my arms around his shoulder as he continues to move back and forth, kissing beneath his ear earning a grip over my hips as he moves deeper inside me making me burn with desire his hips buck into me a growl emitting from his chest and I moan out his name feeling my insides clench around his cock.

I can’t help but whimper against his neck holding him tighter, thighs pressing around his waist his lips finding mine again as he begins to quicken his peace. Hand slipping between my thighs again to press his fingers against my clit, body needing release the more he teases it. He thrusts deeper caressing circles over my clit making me moan out loud. Grabbing his hair in fist a hungrily taste his tongue against mine, he can only groan hips quickening in pace as he pumps harder into me feeling breathless as time goes by, pleasure consuming every inch of my body. Another growl builds in his chest growing desperate he begins to move faster, feeling his cock hit deeper within my walls he bites into my bottom lip the familiar sting rising all over my body the warmth swell until it washes all over my body, legs trembling in high pleasure until it becomes so overwhelming I feel it dripping down my slit.

He groans separating our lips as he rides out his own he pulls away keeping himself up with his arm above my head, unsteady breathes escaping his mouth over mine as he pulls his cock from within my dipping walls pumping his length with a tight grip it takes only a few second before the drops of his release fall over my belly, he comes undone over me before the last drop of his release hits my flesh he falls against my body.

None of us moves still catching our breaths as we get down from our high and slowly we come right back. He pulls himself up again a knowing smirk over his lips as he bite into the lower lip staring down at me.

- any regrets? - he asked, I only moved my head side to side indicating a “no” not looking into his eyes as I only stared down at his neck watching his chest move up and down while he chuckled.

He leaned down again pressing a kiss over my lips before getting up, I stared at his naked back seeing the long marks of my nails on his back as he entered the bathroom. He came back no long after wearing a red silky robe and pants.

- I have work to get done - he said, standing in front of the bed - make yourself at home, you can use anything you need here.

- okay… - I murmured looking up at him, he kneeled down over the bed making a sing with his finger for me to get up towards him.

I slowly made my way back to him, holding the shits to cover me as tight as possible. Once I was close enough he grabbed me by the neck pressing his lips over mine, feeling his tongue slip inside my mouth without permission I groaned against him he stops the kiss with a bite over my lower lip. Giving me one last look he turned around to leave the room.

Oh god.

It took a lot more effort than I thought it would to get up from his bed, covering myself on his sheets a make my way to the bathroom on his room. The bathroom it self was almost as big as the bedroom but, different then the rest of the house it was brighter in colors once completely inside im meet with a big square bathtub, a shower beside it separated and on my right a large sink with a mirror that went up to the ceiling. I made my way towards it looking the mess I was n the mirror. If I didn’t knew any better I’d thought I got in a fight last night upon seeing myself in the mirror.

From my jaw down my neckI completely covered in marks, his love bites were something else. Letting the sheet fall to my feet I found out my neck wasn’t the only part of me he marked, my hips had scratching marks as well as my back and belly following up to my chest.

Memories of his touch and roughness filling my mind, how things escalated so fast last night. I couldn’t let a simple night of pleasure - and morning - erase how much distress he has put me this past week. Threatening me and making me do his dirty work just to make things more difficult for me to get him. I quickly brushed off, now it wasn’t the time for this and I need that shower more then ever. To relax my body and clear my mind.

As much as the bathtub seemed so inviting I make my way towards the shower, I just needed to cool things out right now my mind was still clouded filled with not so pure thoughts I had to make out what steps to take from now, letting the warm water fall over my tired body immediately relaxing all the muscles a sight of relief leaving my lips at the warm feeling take over my entire body. For now I would have to sort things with Yoongi as soon as possible we’ve been playing this game for too long and things need to be fixed now there’s no time to play when you’re in a world like this I can’t just let him throw me from side to side with no clear direction, reaching out to grab the shampoo I found out there was none only a lavender scented soap. A sight left my lips as a improvised tying my hair with itself. No washing hair today then.

Feeling much calmer now that I was clean I don’t take much time there though I knew I would be there for hours if I let myself wonder too much in my thoughts. Once I’m done, I dry myself out covering my body with the towel making my way back to the room realizing only my shirt was here on the floor, the rest of my clothes were probably still on the meeting room. The thought immediately brought a blush to my face. I can’t just go there wearing only a towel to cover my body, what if someone sees me?

That thought definitely wasn’t pleasant. I swallowed the bitter taste, the closet was beside the bathroom the door half opened I quickly make my way there the lights turned on by itself making it clear every piece of clothing inside it perfectly organized and hanged all separated by colors. Not that it was much colorful though, mostly being black and white and a very few gray button shirts and blue. Taking a closer look at the clothes feeling the fabrics as i slide my fingers over one it felt and looked so expensive, how neat and perfectly organized they were, how good they all smelled. This wasn’t just any smell, It transmitted luxury in every detail.

If I take any piece of clothing here Yoongi might actually cut my head off - I thought for a second but quicklyI brushed it away, making my way towards the drawers, there’s must be something here I could borrow for now that would get me kill, right?

The first one I opened immediately got me shocked, it was filled with rings and watches of all types shining with gold and diamonds all organized side by side. I closed that one as fast as I opened, turned to the next one it had some more shirtsI kept looking carefully through them till I finally found were his pajama pants were. I had to hold myself from having a little happy dance, I was begging to feel so nervous there. All of those expensive clothes, if I messed up yoongi would kill me.

But he wouldn’t mind if a borrow one of his pajama pants, would he? Out of everything there those were the only ones that seemed least shocking expensive. Once I got what I needed I quickly left that closet, dressing myself on the bedroom.

I took one final glance at myself on the mirror wall beside the bed, it didn’t look much different than what I would usually look on weekends. The pants were baggy on me even though they felt a bit tighter over the hips, definitely not meant for a woman with hips like mine but still comfortable. I fixed my hair the best i could leaving it fall messily fall over my shoulders.

I didn’t know what to do now, should I just leave the house? I know better then to do anything that could risk my life, it wasn’t just some normal persons place but a mafia man no other then Agust d. I would first have to talk with Yoongi, something’s needed to be discussed.

Making my way out of the room I immediately regret it not asking him were he would go, how am I supposed to find him in this enormous house? I didn’t have time to even check we’re we where going last night since we were obviously busy, things felt so confusing out of a sudden. What am I even doing here? Yoongi had some explanation to do over all that belonging thing with the Paradise poker card, just what in the world those people are doing with that?

He didn’t look like that type of men. He wasn’t that type of men. So what does he really want from me?

Not only that thought is driving me completely insane but, what in the world was I thinking? A sense of regret was bound to cross my mind, all the choices I made were only to save my brother. Even so the heavy weight over my chest wasn’t leaving me, would my brother finally be safe now that they have me? The only thing I knew was I had to make sure of it. How could I trust them so easily to the point were I completely forgot who I was, all my choices were meant to save someone yet I could still damage his life just as bad. If word goes out not only will my brothers life be in danger but, Namjoon.

I laid in the bed of his enemy, he would never forgive me for it if he finds out. Not only that but I’m sure the station would turn against me. They probably already know I’m with Yoongi, I can’t go back to the life I used to have. All the choices I made took me to rock bottom. And I can’t blame anyone else for it but myself.

How foolish of me. I didn’t deserve any forgiveness. I must carry on this path, wherever it takes me I must make sure I survive this war I stared with myself.

I don’t know when I found myself in front the meeting room Yoongi took me last night, I’ve been walking in this long corridor for a while now. It looked even more beautiful in the day light, now I could see the how the light form outside shined over the water falling over the window the small table with all sorts of drinks over on the right a for seat sofa in front of the wall were some of his and mine clothes were displayed and a tea table in the middle were empty cups lay there with a bottle of whiskey almost empty out the sing we must have had more drinks last night before we go to his bedroom, nothing else in the room but that. The sound of water falling was calming, the traces of last night were in every corner of the room immediately bringing a hot blush to my cheeks as I stared at our clothes laying everywhere, the possibility of someone might heaving seen it made me instantly rush to get them. I quickly took one by one in my hands, the house was so quiet except for the sound of water falling from further away though I could swear I heard voices one of them was clearly Yoongi. I couldn’t go back to the room and put the clothes there, I was sure I would get lost again so I just hide them under the sofa as fast as I could and quietly made my way to back at corridor again.

Fallowing the sound of their voices the best I could I stopped in front of a double door on the left of the long corridor, they seemed to be coming from there, standing beside it I kept my focused on their conversation.

- why did you have to bring her!? - it was Jack who said, I recognized and he didn’t sounded so happy - she’s one of them!

I was the only she I knew was brought here so this was definitely a conversation about me, no wonder Jack isn’t doesn’t sound so happy.

- I’m well aware of that Hoseok, what do you want from me? - it was Yoongi, he sounded calm like Jacks outbursts were nothing.

So that must be Jacks real name, everyone here seemed to have code names so the police don’t track them down.

- she’s been behaving only because we kept her on a leash with that brother of hers… - Jack stated, I could hear the anger building up on his voice again as he speaks - I can’t believe you would do such stupid thing just for a pussy D!

- Are you accusing my ability to make decisions because of a woman? - Yoongis voice was calm but stern at the same time at his words they both fell silent.

There were a few moments of silence between them, before I hear the sound of crashing glass.

If Jack is so pressed about me being here I must do something, he wouldn’t hesitate to take my brother life if something happened to Yoongi and it has been clear since day one how much he already disliked me I can’t let myself fall especially now that I’m under the same roof as them. If shooting one of Namjoons men wasn’t enough to prove them they had me I would have to go to the bottom of this. Things are getting messy more and more, Jack wasn’t wrong about this after all me being here definitely wasn’t the best choice. Why did I have to shoot that guy? Now I’m stuck here and probably will have to work more for Yoongi before he even considers letting me go, In the end is not much different then the my work at the station, I would still have to prove my worth for men the only difference is that now I must do it so Jack doesn’t kill my brother or me while I sleep.

- you know better then anyone else who I am and what I’m capable of… - Yoongis tone wasn’t as calm as before, now sharp and clear - do you not trust me?

- of course I do… is she who I don’t trust! - Jack exasperated, anger spilling at every word.

- I’ll kill her myself if she does anything - Yoongi said, his words sanded a chill down my spine.

Everyone seemed to have a desire with for my head on a plate, even though all I did was obey. None of them say a single words after that, I heard step’s getting closer and I quickly turned to leave that wasn’t the best moment to be found by someone who wanted me dead sneaking around especially after he had a very exclusive conversation with his boss. If I wasn’t going down by Yoongis hands Jack would definitely do the job,very painfully I assumed.

And so, if his trust is what I need to get to live I better do something quickly.

Before I could even take another step the doors were opened harshly, good thing they opened towards the outside hiding me from Jack in the process and almost breaking my nose as well.

I swallowed hard feeling my heart almost bursting out of my chest, I waited a bit as I could tell Jack was leaving the corridor through his heavy steps until I don’t hear any sound of him to come out of my hiding spot behind the door.

I took a deep breath before entering this couldn’t wait any longer, I had to set things straight with Yoongi now or else this would end very ugly. Closing the doors behind me as I entered I was soon meet with a large office the room was dark no lights in it except for the the light coming from the window balcony were he stood back turned towards me not noticing me presence. I took a deep breath holding myself as I felt a cold wind flew by the opened window, he still wore the same red silky robe from earlier smoke filling the air around him cigarette in his hand. He seemed to be in deep thought not noticing as I made my way into his office.

Suddenly I felt so small, like I just disrupted a tiger who was sleeping peacefully but I needed to have this talk with him we have to put the cards on the table now more then ever. If I can’t play against him, I’ll play with him instead.

I cleared my throat the sound making him look over his shoulder instantly, my heart almost skipping a beat as his eyes locked with mine the smallest gestures of his could turn my whole world upside down. I had to take control of my body, this won’t work if he keeps affecting me this way.

He turned back slowly taking a blow of the cigarette as he sat down on the big chair behind the desk, blowing the smoke lazily as he looked at me up and down. I swallowed hard, all the muscles in my body goin stiff under his sharp eyes.

He looked incredible good right now, messy dark hair and chest half exposed by the robe he didn’t care to tie.

- are you just going to stand there and watch me? - he asked.

- no… - o clear my throat again, mind going blank at the sight of him - we need to talk.

That’s right, talk. I have to put my cards on the table and now is time for our first match, only thing I have no cards to use against him.

- we do - he agrees, putting the cigarette down.

I took the seat in front of him. Nervously and slowly I tried to use any second a could in order to form a sentence, we have been through so much now yet I have no idea how to start this conversation.

Like something was lost after we slept together, I can’t let that change my mind so easily but I also cannot ignore it. After all, Yoongi brought me here.

- why did you brought me here? - I asked him, that was a good start.

- I already told you that - he said, blowing more of the smoke in the air.

- yes, but you didn’t explain - he sighted, I watched as he just took another blow of the cigarette eyes going up and down over me.

-right, I’ll explain then - he got up from the chair, walking up to a small bar set on the left just before the window he filled a cup for himself before proceeding with his explanation - there is a order in crime, those who come before anyone else and those who come after them. At the top is where me and a few more people stand, anyone else that comes after us is… well low graded.

- were do I stand in there? - I asked watching as he game me a smirk only.

- nowhere, you don’t stand there - he said, sitting back down at the chair in front of me - you seem, leaders of powerful groups like me are what you can call a pure blood. People who work for us are dirty blood, to enter Paradise you must prove you’re one of us or that you belong to us that way we keep things under control and away from any risks of being find.

- what happens if someone who’s not you or work for you tries to get in?

- well two scenes could happen - he said, taking a sip from the cup - you have a card that proves you belong to someone or you don’t, so you die.

- just like that?

- yes, we can’t risk our client’s safety - he said, eyes fallowing every part of my face for my reaction.

- is that why you gave me that card?

- that’s not the same thing, you gave me someone else’s card that someone didn’t wanted to belong anymore and used you to returned to me - he explained leaning forward to get closer, a smirk on his lips - by returning her card you automatically offered yourself to me.

- what?! - I gasped.

- I thought Scarlet told you that, that’s why I accepted you seeing your confusion now she must’ve not - he chuckled.

- but why would you even consider accepting me on the first place - I asked, this didn’t make any more sense to me. Why use such stupid method for something so serious?

- we needed a new mole and you just so happened to be there right on time - he mumbles - nothing especial.

I couldn’t face the smirk on his lips deciding to keep my focus on his hands instead as he played with the tip of the cup in front of him, the brown liquid melted the ice cubes on it smoke dancing around the air.

That woman knew exactly what would happened to me yet she didn’t utter a single word about it, she knew what all of that meant but didn’t told me anything. I could feel the anger building inside me, the more I thought about her face the more hate filled men nerves. I should’ve had noticed something was off, no one hands information that easily. That card she gave me then by Yoongis words meant she worked for him before, that’s how she knew were he was and Paradise. I wondered what kind of work he gave her, that would explain why he would need a woman.

I’m sure he could have better men do what ever job he wants yet, he choose me - actually he accepted as he said. Here I did everything he asked me, leaking information for him and even shoot someone for him and I’m still here. I wasn’t part of his world just a mere mistake, a mere side effect that happened because of my stupid choices and actions, was sleeping with me all he wanted? Why was I still here?

He sighted getting up from the chair walking around the desk to stop in front of me leaning over towards me his face mere inches away from mine, a cold chill running all over my skin as I turned my eyes back to the floor I couldn’t even look at him now. I didn’t even try to stop him from bringing me here he gave me his hand and I took it, I was the one who decided to shake hands with the devil.

My brother was a mere contributor for this to happen, t protect my brother I must live. I want to live. It is clear as the sky, who ever crosses Yoongis path will end up dead that gives me no choice but, honestly I couldn’t feel single bit of remorse about it. Not everyone in this world if a saint, everybody has their own secrets and share of misfortune, not everybody can play the hero but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to get your hands dirty a bit. Playing safe can only take somewhere, if you don’t take the risk and shake hands with the devil sometimes you’ll never be able to reach farther. I was tired of being the nice person, never saying no while everyone though they could walk over me.

I have to play smart if I want to keep breathing, I’ll gladly shake hands with him again in order to do that.

- the moment I saw you in that police station, I could tell you were born to be like me… you’re whole body aches for this. I see the potential in you, so why not under me? - he whispered, leaning towards me he looked me against the chair with both hands on rather side of me.

He slowly brushed my hair out of my face. Just like this morning I felt completely hypnotized by him, his words were poison disguised as sweet honey, dripping from his lips like he never spoke a lie.

He was giving me the opportunity to work for him, now is my chance to make this deal. Although I don’t completely agree with him or his methods.

- how would you know? - I breathless asked him, only for his smirk to grow even more. How could he just read me like that.

My body felt deeply attracted to his, every cell on my skin was aching to meet his but this wasn’t good for me. How could he know so much about me, when we only meet a few times? How could he read me so well to know who I’m?

All I did this whole time was to survive, to protect my brother. How was that because I’m like him?

- because… - he closed the distance between us, lips brushed over mine - anyone else would call the police already, you’re were not one of them so the right decision you should’ve made was to tell someone about all the things that happened. Stop lying to yourself y/n. You’re choices speak louder than all this bullshit you’re trying to put up.

- no, you used m y brother against me, I didn’t have a choice - I stared back into his pool of ice coffee iris.

- you and I both know you did, that night you didn’t have to come alone you didn’t have to come at all - he chuckled - use all this excuses to make yourself plausible, you think you can go back to your station and they will give you a big hug and flowers?

- I’m not like you…. - I said through my teeth.

- no… - he said amazed, hands closing around my chin to make look up into his eyes - you can’t ever be like me, I’m worst.

- what do want from me anyway? - I spat, taking his hand from my face.

- depends… what are you willing to do for me? - he retorted, standing up he walked back to his chair sitting down - can put a bunny to work for me if she won’t be able to hunt.

- I think you already know…. - the thought of the night before instantly flowing back to my mind. I was willing to shoot someone again if needed. But not willing to admit that out loud.

A moment of silence fell between us so thick you could cut with a knife. We were exposing our cards now, I had a stupid pair of threes of spades while he kept putting aces down. Each time. Every word coming out of his mouth just as sharp as a knife.

There was still one card I needed to get out of this play.

- why were you at the station that day? - I finally asked him - the night after we meet in downtown, you were at the station and then… you attacked the diretor of my… of the station.

- just some business…

- cut that bulshit! - I snap - you better start giving me answers!

- I don’t owe you nothing… your one of my dogs now - he said, tilting his head to the side a smirk on his lips mocking me - but if you wanna know so bad, and we’ll since you did used to work there I’ll tell you after your done with your job tonight.

- what about my brother? - I asked him, making him sight.

- humm… well, he owes me a lot of money - he smirked.

- I’ll pay for him… - I swallowed hard. The smirk immediately desapear from his face, he looked at me dead in the eye as if already expecting.

- who said I’d accept it?

- what? - my body immediately falling over the feeling of an exhausted helplessness. Why wouldn’t he accept? What does that even mean?

- he owes me…. Not you - he said, lighting another cigarette.

At that I scoffed.

- he’s my responsibility, I failed to protect him that’s why he’s like that now. - I tell him.

- trust me… it’s not your fault - he said, looking up to blow the smoke as if he knew something I don’t.

- just let me pay for him already… - I insisted.

- do you have the money? - he said impatiently.

- I’ll get it… - somehow I could. I didn’t even knew how much he owed them. Yet here I’m putting my neck on the line again.

- you don’t. - he cuts me off - which means you can only do one thing to pay your brothers debit.

I swallowed nervously. Cheeks hitting up.

- don’t worry… I don’t want you to pay it with sex - he chuckled, noticing my expression - that won’t bring my money back.

- no? I mean of course it won’t, I thought…

- you’ll stay here and work for me - he said - can’t risk that little mouth of yours outside anyways, especially when that Namjoon guy is searching everywhere for you.

The mention of Namjoon immediately brought my eyes back to his. He was searching for me? Why would he, after everything I’ve done. Only if he doesn’t know anything how I was the one who sabotage his whole operation. Maybe he does know, of course he does no one could beat him at the station he was the best investigator there he’s probably looking for me to put me behind bars.

- what’s with you and that guy anyway? - Yoongi asked, - he always seems so… are you and him, you know?

- no. - I immediately cut him off, anger boiling inside me at his insinuating - he is just… was a friend.

- i don’t really care about that… just making sure….

- I won’t tell him anything don’t worry, is not like I can he’s probably looking for me to lock me up - I interrupted him, this whole conversation turned upside down - he’ll do that if he finds me, I won’t make that mistake.

- good then. - he drank the whole liquid before putting the cigarette insides - you’ll be staying here from now.

- I need my things - I tell him, I can’t stay here without clothes and shampoo. It feels like prison.

- I’ll manege that don’t worry, - he said - I need you to be ready tonight though, we’ll go to paradise tonight I need to finish some business… I’ll use your excellent talent into finding people to get a rat that seems to be lost.

I only nodded. Of course that wouldn’t be any wait until I get used to all of this, someone like him must have his hands full of work he probably doesn’t spare any second to get into action.

Talent into finding people, he meant how I was so up his ass in the station to find him. I didn’t found him though, he was the one who found me.

That time, I was the rat.

[…]

If someone told me I would be working for the mafia years ago, I would have laughed at their face. I had trained my entire life to put guys like him under bars nothing could ever excuse all the thing their organization did to so many people, downtown has been the worse every since Agust D implanted himself here. But look at me now, working for him willing.

If I wanted to blame my brother for it, I could. All his irresponsible choices took me there to help him, if I didn’t went there to save him and actually called Namjoon for help would it be any different? But if I didn’t have gotten there, what if something happened to him? Any minute longer my brother would be dead in that day. Would Yoongi show up to help my brother? Why did he help us that night, more then that he took us to eat.

When he mentioned how much money brother owed him I saw how his eyes shined, he knew something I didn’t about my brother more then just his addiction maybe, but what could that be? How am I supposed to find that out now?

Yoongi is somehow connected to the police, that’s how he’s been able to clean his tracks. He probably has someone else there working for him, just like he did to me. What Jack told me about this unknown men is that he runaway somehow and then I was the one doing the dirty work, I’ve been working in that station for years and I never noticed anything strange but, how could I anyway. I was a mere cop and on top of it all a woman. They would never even talk to me.

Thinking about it now, I’m starting to understand why Yoongi choose me to work there for him. I was the perfect puppet for his play. For as long as I have been working as a cop at the station they never really treated me equally, never letting me join the real cases and always just giving the paper work besides all my capabilities and background they never even gave me a chance to prove what I could do. I was an outcast there, how would they notice me running around stealing information for the mafia, they couldn’t even look me in the same level. No one would expect it.

At this point I don’t even know where my judgment has come to, Yoongi is the bad guy. He is the evil that robs all are streets from seafty, this feeling of attraction can stop me from seeing him as who he truly is.

Maybe I’m not as good as I thought I was? Maybe he is right, I’m a bad person.

I know I can’t runaway from the path I choose but I don’t feel like running anymore. At the station no matter how good I was it was never enough, I would never be enough for them. This might not be the best path for someone to fallow, but I trust myself more then anyone in this world. I would never chose a path I can’t walk through, if I came here alive I’ll stay alive.

After I left Yoongis office mind still clouded with thoughts as I made my back to the room we had slept in, he said he would bring some of my clothes from my house soon also making sure no one knows about it and insured my brother wouldn’t knew either that someone went there, after that he only told me to be ready by 7pm. No details. Short and direct.

He wasn’t taking me out to eat, he gave me a mission. And if finding someone was all there was to it, it shouldn’t be so difficult? Besides is not like he asked me to end someone’s life.

A small clock was sat at the side table of the bed, I notice it was 3pm. The fact that it wouldn’t take much longer for me to start getting ready to go to Paradise again, made me nervous. This time was different then the other times I went there, those times I was set to get information to use against Yoongi and now I would have to get information for him it was complete different, I knew he was using this stupid mission to see if would be able to work under him, he was testing me. I was feed up with all this tests and mind games he kept playing to use me, but I could blame him a man in such position would never risk his empire over a a small inconvenience like me. I should’ve expected that from the beginning, he doesn’t put you into training like the police does to k ow you’re worth, he throws you in a ring and you better come out alive. I didn’t know how I would be able to do this, I agreed with him to do this. This time it was all my choice and deep down I knew it was my last test.

The police never once was able to enter paradise, not until I was. But I’m not a cop anymore. It wasn’t official but I doubt it would take much longer for my face to be on the news.

“Female cop join hands with the mafia, turns out she’s been giving out information to them and she was the cause of the long take to solve the case”

People would hate me. If my father was alive, he would probably put me in jail no second thought. But if he was alive, would I even be here now? My brother wouldn’t have choose that path, he wouldn’t owe Yoongi a single dollar. And I wouldn’t have had to save him that night. Still Yoongi had connections in the station, would we still meet me after all?

While I was walking around the room deep in my thoughts of how I completely destroyed my life, a few nocks on the door took me out of my mind completely. In a few seconds a maid entered the room with a tray of food, she seemed old a few grey hairs standing out at the sides of her perfectly made bun. She didn’t made eye contact with me not did she smiled.

- boss asked me to bring you some food, - with that she pulled the tray over the bed and turned back to me - your dress will be delivered soon as well your things.

With one last bow she turned back and left.

I looked over the food on the bed, it was two sandwiches and a orange juice. So soon I’ll go back to paradise, except this time I’ll be going with Agust D.

I didn’t wanted to think about anything anymore, right now more then ever I just wanted to throw everything in the air. I’m such a cowered. Things get tight and what do I do? Stupidly try to forget about it? I won’t ever be able to forget anything.

I could die any moment by the hands of Agust d right shoulder, Jack. Without any words he made it very clear that if I took some step slightly wrong, he would end my brother and I.

Not only is my brothers life on the line now but mine, and Namjoons.

A while later I was finally able to eat the food the maid brought me, my nervousness was beginning to make me weak and tonight I’ll need all the energy I have to complete this mission.

Good or bad a mission is still a mission. That’s what Namjoon would always said to me to make me feel better about all the paper work i was put to do. He knew better what a bad mission is like no one else.

After eating I decided to take a cold quick shower, just to wake up my body and muscles. Once I was done I walked back to the room only to find a few boxes around and a dress placed over the bed. I took a look closer to it taking the black silk into my hands, the tag flew out of its hiding spot and I gasped.

No he did not.

I immediately put it back on the bed.

Yoongi you little…. Why would you spend that much money on a dress like that?

I sighted holding my temple, no way I’ll wear that tonight. After recomposing myself I looked over the two boxes beside the bed. Opening one I found out my clothes in one, the other had all my personal necessities. He better not have sanded a men to get my underwear.

After looking around my clothes I decided to wear a simple black shirt and a dark colored jeans. If anything happens tonight I’ll be able to defend myself and move around without being noticed.

I took a few looks at myself on the mirror, the door of the room opened quickly starling me I turned back to find Yoongi. He must have showered already, hair a bit wet and styled back. He wore black as usual except for his white shirt underneath the coat. The minty and woody scent coming form him was enough to make you drunk on him. I cleared my throat as he continued to look at me up and down one eyebrow slightly raised.

- what are you wearing? - he asked, his sudden question making me look side to side.

- clothes?

- no obviously… - he rolled his eyes back walking up to me stoping a few feet away - you’re not wearing this tonight, right?

- yes I’m.

He only chuckled.

- put the dress on - he order, a serious expression over his features.

- no, I’m going there for work not partying - I tell him.

- you take things way to seriously…. - he said closing the distance between us - you’re not walking beside me in Paradise wearing that, otherwise I would t have bought that dress just to collect dust.

I gulped down. Dressed like this, of course he wouldn’t want to be seen with someone like like me there. I bet red haired woman was much better company then. I turned to side, trying to act as if his words didn’t make a difference to me, as if I wasn’t hurt by it. Over the mirror I catches him looking me up and down again before looking into my eyes one last time and turned back around. He sat lazily over the end of the bed, signaling to the dress.

I sighted. Walking towards the dress I took agryy making my way to the bathroom, the smirk on his face making me even more angry. Stupid Yoongi and stupid dress.

I took a deep breath before looking at the black silky dress, it was long with a v cut on the left to show the leg, long sleeves that exposed the shoulders small diamonds fallowing a v line over the chest, it left the back to show witch meant I wouldn’t be able to wear a bra with it. How am I supposed to work wearing this?

Forget it, I’ll just put it on to show him and then I’ll take it off.

A dress was the least of my problems now, so I didn’t thought about much after I put it on. Not taking another second I burst out of the bathroom standing in front of Yoongi as he looked up from the floor to me. I don’t know why I was so angry about this but it all seemed to deasapear once I locked eyes with him.

- happy now? - I asked him, closing my arms over my chest. Looking anywhere but him.

- much pleased… - he said. Getting up.

- no, you wanted me to put it on and I did I’ll change back now.

- why can’t you just wear the dress?

- you don’t know? - I asked him incredibly - how am I supposed to defend myself in this? What if I need to run? This isn’t the best disguise!

He walked back towards me, a chuckled leaving his lips once he stood in front of me. I felt so small now I could bearly look at him. How would he know. He’s man.

- you won’t have to defend yourself, I’ll be right there for you - he said, hand over my chin to look up at him - I won’t let anyone hurt you.

- if you do… I’ll hurt you then - at that he smirked.

- is a deal then - He said walking back - put on the shoes I got for you it will look better with the dress.

I looked at him incredulous, he meant the black stiletto over the bed? No way.

- you’ll get the dress I’ll choose the shoes - I tell him.

- fine, as long as it’s not a stupid converse - he said.

- what’s your problem with them? - I asked him as I sit down in the end of the bed.

- they’re just… too hard to take off - he said.

- hard to take… - i immediately stopped myself once I realized what he meant - of course.

I took my Dr. Martens boots and begin to put it on.

- you’re not wearing that - he said.

- yes I’m - I tell him one I’m done, looking up at him with arms closed over my chest - besides you won’t have to worry about taking them off of me tonight.

He chuckled looking down at me.

- I have one more thing for you - he said, walking back to me.

He stood in front of me before getting on his right knee, I looked at him confused until I saw him taking a knife out of his back, it was a tigh garter for one small knife.

- in case you need it - he said, taking my knee in his hand the v cut of the dress exposing my leg for him to slide the garter on my leg stoping over my tigh.

The small knife was secured under the black silk of my dress hidden away from anyone who might see it. He looked up to me, something in his eyes sparkle differently.

- thank you…

He only gave me a smirk, standing up to walk out of the room. I quickly recomposed myself fallowing him outside.

Something was telling me tonight wouldn’t be like any other night I was at paradise, I kept seeing red the more I thought about it even when I tried to push it away it came right back to me.

[…]

The ride to Paradise wasn’t a long one. I sat beside Yoongi on the black Range Rover, even the air seemed different as Jack drove to Paradise but I tried to play it off maybe it was the fact that now I was going to be there as Yoongi makes his business happen, the possibilities of what might happen at the end of this night kept sending a chill down my back. After we’re finally in front of the night club, Jack and his men fallowed behind me and Yoongi as we make or way towards the entrance of the building.

Expensive cars all over around the place like usual, people wearing the most extravagant clothes possible. Smoke in the air as well as the smell of strong woody and sweet perfume.

As Yoongi walked in front to enter the building I fallowed close behind. Tonight everything seemed a bit different, people looked different. Maybe it was all in my head, I wasn’t a very frequent person here anyway. My eyes kept running around as if looking for a shadow hiding in the dark, ready to take off my mask. Starle by the sudden touch behind my back, Iooking up to Yoongi as he moves closer to me.

- stand close to me - he whispered in my ear, hand sliding around my back to stop at my right hip.

I swallowed hard. Only nodding.

We pass the guards who immediately leave space for Yoongi to enter, no questions asked. No questions needed. Agust D is the owner of everything here.

The loud music burst through my ears once we are inside Paradise, it wasn’t as full as it usualy was people who walked past us were definitely not the same usual people. Different from the other times I was here there was less people walking around half naked, the music on the first floor was the usual and a few woman dressed in sexy langerie were doing pole dance in the middle of a set up platform of the place, some just like them were carrying drinks around or small foods in golden trays. The amount of men walking around this place with the same aura as Yoongi led me to think that this was a night only for high class members of the mafia and criminals such as them.

Almost like they knew Agust d was coming, a waitress stopped in front of us and Jack immediately took front to speak with him. A mere waitress can’t speak with Yoongi was what I though.

After talking with Jack the waitress lead us to we’re we where set, a table on the second floor that we’re separated from all the others by a big glass door as water fell from it to a small pound with koy fishes you could only see from outside.

Yoongi stopped before we entered, turning me to him by the hips he leaned over my ear.

- I need you to find someone called Jang Jun woo, he is here somewhere hiding like a rat - he whispered - he is good in desguise and is now working here using the name of Han Seo a waitress in Paradise. Go find him for me, once you do come back to me with his location.

I looked up to him as he leaned back, giving him a nod I turned back to leave not wanting to waste a second. The sooner I find the guy the sooner I can leave here.

I decided to start by the first floor were most of the waitress were at the bar there and not walking around, quickly making my way there I felt so thankful Yoongi didn’t throw a fit for the heels. Especially since I would have to run over the entire building.

The heavy beat of drums and guitar stared playing as slow rock music played in the background, I could feel it beat through my whole body. Nervous I felt not knowing what to do first, I wasn’t given much information about the person I had to find. I didn’t know his face. Only his name wasn’t much to help but maybe that’s what Yoongi wanted, to make things more difficult for me so I work harder to find the guy he wanted. Yoongi could have any of his men doing the work and it would be over in minutes but he just had to make me do this in order to test me. If I wanted to stay alive I would have to find this men he was looking for. To be honest I thought Yoongi might already know we’re he is and is only testing me to the bones with this stupid mission, what he’ll do with that men after is not my problem my job is to find him and bring Yoongi to him.

I sighted taking a seat at the bar stool, the wall behind the bar was shining bright made entirely from led lights panels the lights shined over all the different kinds of drinks placed over it the same decoration was build on the second floor as well, while I sat there I notice a few people talked with the waitress working over there. There was a total of six men working on this bar, on the other side of this floor closer to the platforms where another bar like this one I would have to inspect it as well.

If I start asking for names it would be suspicious, so first I decided to only observe them that way no one would notice me and neither would Han seo, two waitresses walked passed over me but their name tags were not the one I needed to find. After making sure I got all their names confirming th done I needed wasn’t there I got up walking to the other side were they worked serving the people in front of them, trying my best not to make obvious I serched for the name in their tags. None of them were the one I needed.

Of course it wouldn’t be easy to find him, I have a feeling word mush have gone out that Agust D was coming tonight, and if he’s trying to hide from Yoongi it won’t be as easy to find him.

Only woman were serving drinks around the first floor and after I made sure I checked all the waitresses on the bars, I sighted making my way to the second floor there were two bars on this floor just like the first one people here played poker and drank, there was no one dancing like the first floor and music here was always much calmer then down there, as I entered the second floor I watched every corner of it different from the first floor only men were serving drinks and food here, I can’t just walk around the entire place looking for this men. Not only would it Ben suspicious but entirely useless, I would just be wasting time if I just walk around here. With a sight I turned to the bar close to the entrance for the second floor, after you take the stairs to get here at the left side occupying the entire wall the other one was in the middle of the room a circle bar almost as big as yoongis bathroom I thought. A big chandelier over it shined a warm color covered in diamonds.

I instead made my way to the closest to the entrance taking a sit on a bar stool, I could feel eyes on me the entire time. Maybe Jack was watching giving Yoongi all the details about my stupid investigation how so far I didn’t have a single clue about the Han seo whereabouts, how anyone else could have already funded him if he have made the choice to put me here instead.

- I almost didn’t recognize you… - a voice I knew very well said behind me.

Turning around at the source of the voice I’m meet with a very known face, of course I would run on him somehow I always do.

- Jimin… - I gave him a small smile which he replied with one dripping mischief.

- you look… delicious- he said walking to me taking one of my hand up to his lips to leave a small kiss over it.

- thank you… but I’m here for work actually - I played along.

- ah, what a shame… - he pushed his hair back I notice the black gloves he wore, it shined under the lights as bit of sweat falling from his neck contrasted between the glitter over his skin.

Tonight he had a heavy dark make up covering his eyes, the white shirt slightly button up as usual showing off his skin underneath it and black vinyl pants tightly hugging his legs. So many accessories over his neck shined under the blue lights, he didn’t let go of my hand standing beside me on the bar closing completely the distance between us. A lot had happened between us the last time I was here but, now I couldn’t let his beautiful face distract me it wasn’t the right time for it specially with everything going on.

It didn’t help how good he looked right now to say no, Jimin always seemed to have a way with people his words laced with sweetness he never said the wrong thing, always managing to get exactly what he wants eyes filled with dirtiness alcohol on his breath mixed with the strong scent of Chanel coming from his body he was breathtaking, I was sure there was not a single night were he wasn’t here at Paradise maybe I could take a few words from him since he’s always here. In the end of the night he might be very helpful.

Once I smiled back at him he asked for one of the waitress my eyes immediately falling over his name tag, but just my luck it was not the one I was looking for.

- whiskey for me, lots of ice please is too hot tonight - he smirked while looking back at me, his eyes shined brighter as he took in my features - and for my darling here…

- champagne, please - I answered.

- champagne it is …. - he smirked at me.

The waitress took our orders and walked back to prepare them.

- I saw you entering with Agust d… - Jimin coments - so you really are working with him?

- it seems like it doesn’t it?

- I better watch out then…. He doesn’t like sharing toys - Jimin said, a knowing smile growing over his full lips. He was looking for my reaction, trying to read between the lines. As much lovely as he might presents himself, Jimin wasn’t a fool I could tell he knew exactly what he was doing and with who he was talking.

- I’m not his toy… - I simply said eyes running over the waitress at the bar, feelinghis hold over my hand tightened making me look back into his smoky eyes.

- so he didn’t send you here for a stupid little mission…. - he said.

His words making my checks immediately heat up, he knew. Of course he would know. I wasn’t the first one to be in this exact position and not will I be the last one, sooner or later Yoongi would find someone else to take my place. Tonight might just be that time he’ll choose someone else to if I fail this stupid test.

The waitress soon puts our drinks down in front of us, Jimin immediately drinks half of his before turning to me completely leaning closer to whispered behind my ear.

- maybe I can help you? - the smirk danced over his lips full of mischief.

I didn’t know if I could fully trust him, but right now I had nothing on the guy Yoongi wanted me to find and since Jimin seemed to be so whiling to help I might as well just play along with it, something’s only a woman can do.

- can you? - I whisper back leaning towards him, hand slight dancing over his jaw to bring him closer. He seemed completely out of it, eyes looking up to mine and down my lips.

We’ve been here before, I hated to use the words but he was so easy to use. Anyone could get anything from him with just a few touches, Jimin was the type to exchange information for pleasure for that reason I couldn’t trust him completely but for now, that is exactly what I need.

- your wish is my command - he said against my lips.

I turned to whispered in his ear, making sure to run the tip of my nose over his neck.

- I’m trying to find a little rat that escaped.

- oh, I sure can help you with it. - he said, - nothing happens here that I don’t know about it.

- good kitty - I run my fingers through his hair, he smiles softly. The pet name rolling down my tongue, I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing but it was working.

- who do you need - he murmured over my ear, I could see goosebumps running down his skin.

- a guy named Jang Jun woo, I heard his working here under the name Han seo do you know anything about it? - I asked him, running my hand over his arm.

- oh that guy…. What do you need him for? - he asked.

- just talking, he’s been running away I’m a bit worried about him… - I played.

- I see… i can ask for him here, he’s working in the kitchen now - he said, that fact that he knew so well about this guy didn’t went past me.

- how do you know this? - I asked. He leaned back a smirk over his lips as he stared down at me.

- I know the owner of this place, you can say… we’re pretty close - he said, taking his phone out of pocket.

He knew the owner of Paradise, that meant Yoongi wasn’t the one who ruled this place. Then who is it?

Shaking that thought form my mind for now, my focus was back at the mission in front of me. I still had to think of a way to make sure Yoongi could get Jun woo without him running away, that meant I would have to immobilize him completely. A plan was already forming in my head as I stared at Jimin.

- could ask Han seo to prepare a room for me on the thrid floor? - I ask him, running my fingers over his neck down his chest stoping over a button. Eyes looked with his.

- of course I can… but I thought you just needed to talk with him? - he said.

- don’t worry about it… it’s not him who I want now - Jimin was so easy to play with, with only a few words and a touch here and there I could get anything from him.

I felt bad to use him like this, but not everyone is good in this world. I’ll use whoever I need to and I’ll do what ever I need to, I can’t back down now form this. Yoongi can have anyone doing this for him, that means I’m replaceable if I don’t show him I can do this my head will becut off before I can even try to runaway.

- I’ll get it ready right now then… - he said.

- good kitty… - I left a small peck over his cheek.

- only for you - he took his phone out calling someone - hey Tae, can you ask that Han seo guy to get a room ready for me?

I watched as he talked on the phone.

Tae. Another new name I have to save for later, once I finish this I’m sure I’ll have more questions for Yoongi. That is if I finish this job before Jack puts a bullet in my head. The thought that this might be my last chance wasn’t gone completely from my mind, it definitely didn’t help to know a guy such as him was ready to take me out so easily.

- thanks man… - he turned off the phone - is done, just wait a few minutes I’ll go upstairs with you.

- ok, thank you - I tell him.

- no need, everything for my pretty girl - he laced one arm over my waist bringing me closer, eyes glued to my lips.

- by the way who were talking too? - I change the subject quickly before i give into the temptation of his juicy lips, the longer I was here with him the harder it was to stand there and not grab him by the neck. His captivating aura definitely didn’t help.

- Tae? Oh he’s… how can I tell you? The boss here? - he took the cup with liquid on drinking the entire thing a big gulp.

- so he owes Paradise?

- since you are in our side now… I’ll tell you - he leaned closer - Agust handed Paradise for him personally…. Taes Father was close to Agust like a parent I would say, they are like brothers now.

- oh , I’ll trust him then…

He only gave me a smile, I took a sip of the champagne looking around I could see Yoongis men all over the place to protect him or to make sure I do my job and don’t runaway. I was sure it was the second option. The more I thought about him the more questions raised in my mind, Yoongi had this connection with a guy named Tae, who he handed Paradise to all because he was close with the guys father. The thought made think that somewhere deep down his nonexistent heart was something still human in him, why could he do such thing if not. It was hard to believe though but part of me couldn’t help see something good in him after the sudden information. Nobody knows anything about Yoongi, they all fear him though. I know no one is born a monster, so what happened to him that made him be one?

After we have our drinks Jimin gets up holding a hand out for me to take, I did letting him guide me he said the room was ready and the guy Han seo was waiting there so we made our ways to the third floor.

My heart was beating faster in my chest the closer we got to the corridor the music started to feel deafening, I had no idea what I would do from the moment I step foot in that room. The walls of the corridor felt smaller the deeper we made our way in, stoping in front of a door I looked at the number 226 in gold over the dark wood. I didn’t know how I would go from here, what was I supposed to do with the guy since he’s been hiding from Yoongi there is a good chance he will try to scape. I would have to be very careful about this, I just need to make sure he stays there until Yoongi comes up here.

With that all in mind I opened the door, the guy had his back to me when I entered he was quietly fixing the bed then moved to fix a bottle of champagne over it. Once he turned starlet by my presence he gave me a bow, quickly making his way to leave. Close enough for me to see his name tag, I relief fill my body.

Han seo shined over the simple tag name. Before he could take another step o took his arm into mine.

- Agust D has business with you Jun woo - I tell him.

I didn’t know his face but the desparation in his eyes as soon as I mention Yoongi and his real name were enough prof. He’s the one I needed to find. Hetried to dogged me and leave the room but i held his arm tighter pushing him over I used my leg to make him fall, holding his arm up with my feat over his shoulder into breaking I forced my feat on him twisting his arm to the right until I hear him groaning at the pain, I stepped over his face.

- quiet! Or I’ll break your arm off - I tell him, getting another painful groan form him.

- what are you doing? - Jimin entered the room, eyes changing from me to the guy on the floor.

- he tried to scape…. - I tell him.

- oh yeah?

- don’t look at me like that - I angrily tell him - you know who I work for, now get something to tied him up now!

He murmured a “ok” and quickly moved around the room to find something to tie the guy, I kept my hold over his arm until Jimin finally bring me the golden ties of the curtains. The guy tried to run away again once I released his arm to tie him but I quickly nocked him out by kicking him in the face. Surprise at my own actions i quickly began to tied up the guy, he lazily kept trying to stop me but I held him still with my feet over his back. One I was sure he wouldn’t be able to get out of the, I turned back to Jimin.

- can I have your phone please? - he nodded handing it to me.

I moved to the guy, taking his cap off I took a pic of his face with the flash on. I had to make sure he was the guy Yoongi was looking for.

- Jimin… can you make sure he stays here like this and not escape? I’ll be back soon - I tell him.

- I wouldn’t dare to disobey - he said, a chuckled coming from his lips - I’ll make sure the rat doesn’t move.

- thanks kitty - I tell him.

I quickly left the room making my way out of the corridor down the stairs to the second floor, adrenaline filling my whole body. Is that how it feels when you get the bad guys? Namjoon must always feel so great after having a mission completed. A small smile made its way to my lips unconsciously, I shouldn’t feel this way but it was still a way of getting back at the bad guys. At least that would be my sense of accomplishment for now.

Quickly making my way we’re back to the second floor where Yoongi was, I had to get there fast before the guy upstairs try anything funny with Jimin. It wouldn’t be nice to let him get in the middle of this whole situation, although he did help me get the guy there. Once I was close enough to the separate table in the corner were I last went with Yoongi I notice a shadow of someone’s head behind the glass wall there, it seemed he had some company there or there then Jack now. Walking past the body guard I made my way inside there seeing as Yoongi sat comfortably on the armchair at the corner, Jack sat at the bigger purple sofa beside Yoongi and over the other side were the glass door was a man a never saw before sat in front of Jack.

Knowing the guy could escape i quickly made my way to Yoongi.

- is it him? - I showed him the picture I took with Jimins phone.

He took the phone from me a smirk forming on his lips as he passed the phone to Jack.

- hes on the thrid floor room 226 - I tell Yoongi.

- very well then, get things ready - he said to Jack who immediately stood up and went out of there with the body guards.

I watched as Yoongi leans back looking me from up and down the smirk never leaving his lips, he holds his hand out for me which i carefully took it, feeling hm ouch me down to sit over his lap hand holding my exposed back to support me the simple touch immediately sanded chills down my spine.

- wanna drink something? - he suddenly asked me.

- no I already had champagne - I tell him, moving my arm around his shoulder.

- yeah I heard… - he said moving a strand of hair behind my ear.

So he was watching me the entire time, my suspicions were right. All of those guards of his were not there to protect him but to keep an eye on my every move. This whole job was a test indeed, I knew that from the beginning. The mocking sound of his voice had more then just a confirmation of this, he knew about me and Jimin.

- this guy here is Chris - he says - he works for me in downtown.

He pointed at the men sitting there, the man held his glass up for me a smile on his face the guy seemed to be in his forties or so, the half done beard and wet blonde hair with a few strands of white were slightly pushed back he wore a red shirt half bottom up exposing the big golden chain around his neck, cigarette on his right hand and a cup with whiskey on the other hand.

His eyes kept running up and down my legs the entire time ever since I walked in, disgust instantly filling me up. That’s why I hate wearing dresses like this, men always look at you like you’re just a piece of meet in a showcase with their little to nonexistent brain think they can get anything from you just because your showing some skin.

I wanted to throw up.

- I see you have a new bitch, does Scarlet knows? - he said, smoke leaving his lips as he takes a sip of the golden liquid on his cup.

- she was the one who left - Yoongi said, hand closing around my knee exposed by the dress slightly moving up - why would I waste my time?

- does this beauty have a name? - he said, making my eyes go back to his disgusting face I catch him eyeing me again.

- not your business- i spat at him, I didn’t care if he was one of Yoongis men or what ever. I was tired of this whole situation.

- oh feisty, for just a another bitch…. just acompaning you Agust? - he said as if I wasn’t there, finally looking away from and at Yoongi beside me.

Rage was boiling over me, I still had the adrenaline from earlier running through my whole body just looking at the disgusting face of Chris was enough to make my blood boil. This place was not different from the station, men still had no respect for woman he must not know what I’m capable of and right now neither do I know what I’m capable of doing if he keeps talking to me like I’m just, a bitch.

The feeling of Yoongis fingers sliding over my thigh towards the knife he gave me before was the only thing that brought me back to my control, immediately looking back to his face as he leaned over my ear.

- should I cut off his toungue? - Yoongi whispered on my ear, hand stoping above the knife, ready to take it.

Although his words sanded a chill down my body, for a second there I felt important. I don’t know what made him say that, the fact that the guy has only been disrespectful towards me and not him shouldn’t be enough for him to cut off his tongue for me. Still he was right there ready to take matter into his hands.

With a heart racing on my chest I slightly brushed my fingers over the hairs at the back of his neck, feeling his breathing deepening at the small touch. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment then to see that guy regretting his words.

- maybe… doesn’t he needs to talk business with you though? - I tell him, turning back to him. - you can do it afterwards.

I’ve never felt so much rage before, I hated this type of guys.

- right… - he said to me. Hand sliding off the knife. I had no doubt he would cut off the guy. Right now I had enough on my plate for such show.

He leaned back eyes staring bored at the guy in front of him, Chris cleaned his throat before sitting straight into his seat.

- so did you find the rat you were talking about? - he asked Yoongi.

- I’m still looking…. You see he’s been hiding very well - Yoongi said. Hand sliding up my back slowly eyes glued to the men’s in front of him. Something seemed different between them.

They were talking about the guy upstairs and if Yoongi just lied about not finding him, it must mean this guy had something to do with Jun woo. Could it be he was also behind this all? Is that why Yoongi is meeting with him tonight the same date as he’s getting back at Jun woo?

Shit. This was going to be a long night.

- doesn’t seem like your stressing yourself much over that… - Chris guy said.

- I have someone looking over it soon he’ll be dead - at Yoongis words I immediately freeze.

I shouldn’t be surprised things would end this way, that’s why he sanded Jack over there to finish the job.

- should we have a toast old friend? - said Chris - here I got you your favorite straight from the business.

A woman with a tray with drinks suddenly enters taking me complete from my thoughts, she wear a black tube dress handing a new drink for Chris before making her way over to Yoongi a cup with dark liquid the strong scent of it which I could tell was definitely whiskey. As he reach to get the cup from her I watched her eyeing him almost rolling my own eyes but before I can even think about it I notice the small pill at the bottom of the cup at making bubbles almost unnoticeable as the ice inside it covered the pill. I’ve seen it many cases with drugs like this at the station and suddenly everything began to connect in my mind.

People here were definitely different from the other times I was here, everyone were important mafia members knowing who with not single doubt know how powerful Yoongi was of course someone would try to take him down. Especially a guy that seemed to be working with the little rat Yoongi was about to kill.

Anger immediately boiled me up, I didn’t think for a second before I take the cup from Yoongis hand as I stood up, throwing it over the table in the middle starling every one around it. In a second I took my knife out of my garter as I made my way to Chris grabbing the man’s face I hold the sharp metal against his cheek.

- how dare you! - I accused him. He groaned eyes searching up for Yoongi behind me. - what’s on his cup? You better tell me now or all cut your face off!

For a moment I saw fear in his face, he looked desperate at Yoongi before my actions but at the mention of the drug on his cup all the fear seemed to dissipate from his face as he only laughed. The sound of his laughter turned a switch on my mind, I no longer could hold it anymore I was simply tired of hearing them laugh at me. With no second thoughts I held the knife tighter over his skin slowly cutting his face as blood started to drip from it.

I could tell Yoongi just sat there watching probably amused by the sight clearly entertained by it, the security guards entered the room but were quickly signaled to back off by him.

From the corner of my eyes I notice Jacks presence there as well, right just in time.

- just ecstasy…. - Chris mumbles under me, he laughed sickly - seems like the bitch doesn’t know her men… silly girl…

Anger boiled over every cell in my body, any idea of sanity I had was gone in that moment. If they don’t know what I’m capable of, I’ll gladly show them.

- seems like you are the one who doesn’t know your place…. - i tell him - let me remind you.

In that split of seconds I catcher that glimpse of fear again that I so desperately was looking for, he didn’t expect me to go further and he didn’t thought for a second Yoongi wouldn’t stop me and with that i cut half his face with the knife Yoongi gave me, deep enough to leave a scar. He groaned out loud, blood pouring from his face as he desperately tried to cover with his hands, I didn’t bother to look at Yoongi in that moment I was pissed at him as well for some reason, putting the knife back at the garter on my thigh I walked out passing beside Jack who stood there at the entrance of the small room ignoring the his hard stare over me I quickly made my way towards the round bar in the middle of the place anger still boiling inside of me. I was tired of men thinking they could laugh at me in the face.

I asked for a new drink for Yoongi, it was still rude of me for that but I couldn’t risk his life like that. Jack would immediately cut every bone in my body if I did. I was lucky he wasn’t there when the commotions stared.

When working as a cop you can’t do such thing to your culprits, you can’t cut half their face just to show who is in control but here is not like this. In Paradise everyone had dirty secrets so many mafia members walk around no one feared to say anything to them, is basically like a swim with sharks if you bleed they will treat you like a prey. I can’t bleed. So I have to ensure I’m not the prey.

Once the waitress gave the new drink for Yoongi I took it with me as I made my way back there. Stopping before the entrance as I heard their voices.

- you need to control your bitch Agust! - Chris spat.

- you need to control your mouth - yoongi responded. There was a minute of silence between them.

I didn’t expect him to take my side. I honestly thought he would put a bullet through my head for doing that to his guest. Although he did asked me if i wanted him to cut his tongue off for calling me that before. That thought gave me some confidence as I finally entered there.

Yoongis eyes looking straight back to mine, regardless of everything the presence of that Chris guy was still a reminder of my anger dripping through every cell of my body. He disgusted me completely. I notice Jack was now back at his sit from before, he looked me up seriousness over his features before looking back at Chris in front of him. Making my way back to Yoongi a sat over his lap handing him the cup with whisky.

He took it giving me a smirk, eyes still not leaving mine. I couldn’t tell if it wasn’t just because the lights were slightly deeming here or if it was just him but, he just looked at me completely different now. I’ve seen those eyes before, the same eyes looked at me last night when he brought to his house after I shoot a police detective for him. The same eyes who so desperately looking into mine when he held a knife over my neck.

He drank the whole liquid on the cup still never breaking eye contact, giving me the now empty cup I put it over the table in the middle.

- you haven’t been much faithful Chris…. - yoongi said, looking back at Chris who still held his bloody face - you should’ve known better Chris then to try anything against me, after all you know who I am.

At that the men fell silent, frozen completely under Yoongis hard gaze. He was holding a napkin over the cut a big blood stain covered the white fabric.

The Chris guy was indeed working with that Jun woo behind Yoongis back, I don’t know what they had up gains him but it didn’t took longer for Yoongi to find out their dirty tricks. I’ve always knew Agust d was always one step ahead of all his enemies and who ever tried to confront him he would cut them off immediately no second chances, every one at the station always talked about his ruthless actions against those who tried.

The more I thought about this guy trying something against Yoongi the more I questioned if that drug on his cup was really just ecstasy, for all I know he could be lying in that moment just to save his own ass.

I looked over the table where I threw the whisky on his cup, a few cubes of ice still melting there as well as the pill.

- you’re lucky she only cut half your face… - yoongi chuckled - I would’ve cut your head off.

- I’m sorry Agust D - the guy said, eyes locked on the floor - it won’t happen again.

- no… it won’t. - Yoongi said - now if you excuse me… I have some business to take care of.

I got from his lap as he stood up behind me, hand holding my hip as Yoongi guided me to the way out. Jack fallowed behind us as well as some of the bodyguards from before.

We made our way through the people around the second floor, towards the stairs for the third floor I thought he sensed Jack there to end the job why would we go there again? Unless he was the one who wanted to end it, maybe he just some information from the guy I doubt he would kill him before getting anything from him.

I turned to Yoongi.

- sorry for your drink - I tell him, to which he gave me a smirk eyes locked with mine.

- why? You were only protecting me, right? - he said, I only nodded making him lean over my ear - besides a love when my woman knows how to use a knife…

I gulped down looking ahead of me instead, we walked past the stairs to the third floor making our way to the room 226.

Yoongi had me beside him the entire way to the room, once we got there one of his body guards were standing in front of the door. He opened the door as soon as he saw us walinking there and Yoongi entered before me.

The lights of the room were all turned on and soon I’m meet with the guy Han seo or Jun woo tied up on a chair, hands behind his back and a few bruises over his face that it wasn’t my doing for sure. On the other side I notice Jimin was still there, he looked at me then Yoongi giving him a bow, yoongi nooded to him making his way to the man tied up.

I decided to stand closer to Jimin, my only mission was to bring Yoongi to the guy Han seo. So I just stood there watching them.

- Jun woo… - Yoongi mocked his name, tilting his head to the side looking the guy up and down - I expected a lot from you, you really thought that hiding in here was a good idea?

- please Agust this is only a misunderstanding…. I - before he could finish his Jack gave him a punch in the jaw.

- He didn’t finish - Jack state as the guy on the chair spilled more blood on the floor.

One of the body guards pulled a chair in front of the guy, Yoongi took the seat there as Jack handed a big knife to him, it seemed to be a hunting knife.

I bite down my bottom lip, he’ll torture him.

- I’ve been informed you have been leaking information about my business to the police, - Yoongi began, playing around with the knife in his hand like the most beautiful toy he had - we almost got caught last night due to your…. big mouth Han seo.

Yoongi chuckled mentioning his fake name, eyes locked with the knife in hands as he moved it around his fingers.

The guy in front of him scoffed, yoongi had a weird smile on his face as he looked up from the knife to the men in front of him. I’ve never seen him like that, completely out of it like a beast. The Agust d everyone feared was right there, ready to take down someone.

- you mean to tell me the Agust d almost went down last night? - he looked up to the ceiling, a broken laugh leaving his lips but he stopped as more blood came form his throat. - if I knew I’d end up like this… maybe I should’ve exposed your business with at Busan. That Namjoon guy was quicker then I thought.

At the mention of Namjoon my eyes instantly went to the guy. So that’s how he managed to get the information, he’s the one Namjoon mentioned to me before that’s how he was able to set the trap for Yoongi last night. No wonder he didn’t wanted to wait before coming here and get him himself, the guy could leave even more info about him to Namjoon at any moment who knows what he might already have leaked to him, the only thing that still didn’t made sense to me was why would he be so stupid to even try to betray Yoongi like that? Nothing ever seemed to pass by Yoongi that he didn’t already know so why even bother to try?

I was sure that even if I didn’t have appeared last night and shoot that guy, he would still managed to find a way out of that Yoongi wasn’t alone that night he had Jack, who seemed way to calm for someone who knew that was a trap. I was the one going out of my own way and making a scene.

- I’ll die anyway tonight, you must be wanting to know what I told them - he chuckled - find out by yourself Agust d.

There was a cold feeling lingering around the room, a smoke invisible but very present. What ever that guy have against Yoongi he already shared with Namjoon. Things can only get more messy from now, Namjoon will never stop until he gets Agust d head in a silver tray.

My eyes darted to Jack, he had a clenched jaw as he stared at the man tied up. Hand rest over the pistol on his back ready to end him for his boss if needed, the smoke lingering around was ruthless death was definitely around here now.

Yoongi sat there expressionless although, I didn’t know if he was pissed at all of this or already had everything figured it out. The mention of a that S guy certenly brought some reactions, the more time I spend with in here the more mysterious people I find out who are participating in this game, Yoongi didn’t seemed to like the mention of that supposed business he had in Busan made him look even more harsh a stone cold gaze in his eyes that burned over the guy in front of him, I notice how Jimin and Jack shared a look in that moment Busan was mentioned. So Jimin is more involved with Yoongi then I tought if he knows such thing, it made me even more curious.

- tell me Agust… was your new bodyguard who saved your ass last night? - Han seo leaned closer to Yoongi as he said that, a smile filled with secrets as he looked at Yoongi before turning to me - the cop Namjoon told me about you.

At that I unconsciously took a step closer immediately being held back by Jimin, what in the world was Namjoon blabbing about me to that guy?

- he’s up your ass pretty lady - he said leaning back against the chair - I wonder what he’ll do to you once he finds out about your late night job with his enemy.

Jack once again gave him another punch in the jaw making the guy spat more blood on the floor.

- well I didn’t come here to chat - Yoongi said, getting up from the chair - I don’t need to find anything out anyways, I know everything already.

Even his movements were enough to send chills down my whole body, every cell on my skin knew what was going to unfold right now but still, I could believe even now right under my eyes as he carefully walked over to the men tied up.

Why did I have to come here too?

- of course you do… - Han seo said, coughing more blood as he turned back to me - at least I’ll die looking at a beautiful woman.

+++

In a second Yoongi flashed the knife at the men’s right eye, a gasp leaving my lips as I watched him grabbing the man’s jaw who screamed in pain, Yoongi took the knife out of his eye making more blood splash everywhere at the motion. The man screamed out once again from the pain as Yoongin didn’t stop there and flashed the knife at the men again.

I turned back not being able to look at it any longer, I knew what would happen next but I just couldn’t look at it. The sound the men was making were horrible as well as the strong smell of iron filling the entire room, it didn’t stop.

I felt two hands closed over my body and immediately froze on the spot but soon calmed down once I notice it was Jimin who held me against his chest, not to look at the torture.

I could still hear the sound of the men’s groaning in pain, as well as the knife slicing against him again and again. Yoongis hard breathing as he kept going non stop, I tried to cover my ears and block the noise but nothing helped he just kept screaming until no sound was heard anymore only the blade falling on the floor echoing through the room.

+++

- you two know what to do - was Jack who said the order.

After that Jimin held me against him more tightly as he made his way out of the room with me, I didn’t move an inch away from him until I could finally heard the music form the second floor and and my lungs were filled with the smell of alcohol and cigarettes, slowly I leaned back from Jimin as my vision was finally meet with the long dark corridor of the third floor.

My stomach kept doing flips, the sandwich I had earlier was trying to come out the disgusting smell of blood still all over my nostrils.

I embraced Jimin tighter my only attempt into sinking into his Chanel perfume, trying my best to forget that disgusting smell of iron.

- let’s go seems like you need a drink - Jimin said over my ear. I only nooded against him.

With that he walked me out of the thrid floor and I kept myself glued to his body, I needed anything to get out of that murder scene.

Jimin brought me back to the bar we were sat before, I sat over the bar stool as he stood there beside me asking for a drink to the bartender who immediately got his order and began to make the drink.

In that moment I simply couldn’t make any thoughts, my mind felt completely blank. Suddenly a wave of cold air hitting my entire body making me hug myself in search of warmth, i knew exactly what was going to happens yet I couldn’t control my feelings about it.

This was his world. This is Yoongis world. I definitely was not ready for it.

- will you be okay? - Jimin said, pushing my hair behind my ear - you look a little pale.

- I don’t like seeing blood… - I tell him, still feeling my stomach ache.

- oh, then you’re in the wrong place - he said, eyes shining under the blue and purple lights over our heads a small smile making way over his lips.

He’s right.

I’m at the wrong place. I should’ve been at home now, making dinner for me and my brother, cleaning my clothes to work tomorrow at the station. Setting up my alarm for 5am. Not here.

Not at his world but mine but I have up that world the day I decided to take him down and this is what happens to any one who ties that.

At least it wasn’t me in that chair. I tried with every cell in my body to think that guy deserved that, he was just a criminal after all I shouldn’t feel bad about that. It was all bound to happen since he choose to join hands with the police.

I just wanted to forget everything, like the coward I was whenever things got dirty.

Looking up to find Jimins dark eyes shining under those colorful lights, I wondered what in the hell was going on his mind when he let me inside that night.

- the first time I came here… - I began - why did you help me get inside? I’m sure you wouldn’t let just anyone in knowing how important the people here are.

- to be honest… - he said - I thought you looked hot, riding that motorcycle and if you happened to be trouble I would just… you know.

- oh… of course - I cleared my throat - so you liked me because I ride?

- no… - he chuckled - gosh do you really not know how sexy you look? After I saw tonight I don’t think I can’t just forget you yn. You’re my type.

If nothing had happened just a few minutes ago, I would have believed him. Deep down I know he was just trying to make me forget about what just happened, filling me with compliments and smiling at me like nothing else matter.

- your type…

- I mean I would try to kill you if turned out to be trouble that night - he said, fingers brushing my cheek softly - but I was sure I would be the one in trouble if I did so that’s what I like that about you.

- well I’m a…- I immediately stopped myself realizing I almost told him I was a police intern, sighting I corrected my self quickly - I’m in the Agust D mafia.

- you’re not one of them y/n - Jimin said, his hand resting over mine the smile quickly fading from his lips replaced by a look a knew very well - you should leave this before is too late, save yourself y/n you weren’t made for this world.

My eyes were burning as I looked into his, that face I knew so well was the same I saw on peoples faces at after my parents death, in that exact second I realized what he meant I felt that chill run down my spine the moment his eyes locked with mine, he knew. He knew everything about me being a police intern an yet still helped me.

- here is your drink - the bartender interrupted.

I didn’t think twice before getting the cup with a red liquid, drinking it all in one gulp. I felt like I could cry at any moment and I didn’t wanted that to happen. How weak of me. This is what I wanted my whole life, to be taken serious and get the real job done.

Now that I’m watching everything from so close, i couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming anguish over me, I couldn’t let myself go down so easily though. I can’t back down anyways, I had so much to lose if I did so not matter what anyone says I’m the only one who can do this, it doesn’t matter what Namjoon thinks about me. I won’t let Jack kill me or my brother, I’ll pay for his debt with my dirty work. Whatever happens in the future I’ll deal with it when it comes.

I felt so tired of people getting in the way of my choices, I’m the one who made this mess. I’m done trying to come clean with all this situation, I have a reason for this and my choices were not made recklessly.

The perception I needed from all of this finally seemed to make sense to me.

- I can’t leave, I have to pay a debit - I tell him, feeling bitter as I tried to smile at him.

Turning my eyes away from his to the now empty cup in my hand, the taste of alcohol burning my throat. I heard him sight before he turned me to look at him again.

- don’t let your guard down then y/n - he said, letting go of my hand. I notice his eyes looked at something behind me. - your boss is here.

I didn’t look behind to know he meant Yoongi but, I didn’t dare to look at him I could bearly move an inch without thinking about what he just did, I still couldn’t make out what to even think about it. Before I could even get down from the stool he was right there beside me, one hand quickly sliding over my back just like he did before. Turning slightly towards him o notice he changed clothes too he didn’t wore the white shirt anymore but a black one, no sign of blood on him nothing he was all clean again, smelling he’s usual minty perfume.

He looked up at Jimin giving him a nod witch Jimin replied with the same action before making his way out, I feel Yoongi sliding his fingers over my chin to look up at him.

Tracing every centimeter of his features with my eyes, searching for any signs of a murder on him I find none. Just the usual scar face I was used too, the smirk dancing over his lips like always he caressed my cheek before holding me against him as we walk out of there, making our way to the first floor.

- you’re friend came here before us - he suddenly mentioned.

Friend?

- what do you mean? - I asked him.

- the detective… Was it Namjoon his name? - as the words left his lips my body went immediately cold.

Namjoon were here? How could he? It just didn’t make any sense unless he used Han seo to get in here I couldn’t think of any way.

- that guy you…. - I paused immediately, still feeling uncomfortable at the thought - Han seo was the one giving info to the police?

- yes, but he didn’t do it alone - he said as we walked to the exit of the building - he was simply a pawn being used to get to me by someone else.

- that Chris guy?

- you’re getting the hang of it already… - he praised, smirk over his lips as he held me by the side closer.

I only gulped down. Strangely enough being complimented by Yoongi always felt like a tease as he always made it sound like that, an air of “oh so are you really?” Always coming from him deep down.

A dark cloud seemed to close around us both as we exit the building.

- how far will you go to pay for your brothers debt? - he asked over my ear, his voice sounding much deeper now.

I felt my whole body tremble, warning signs shooting from every direction as his words sink down on my mind.

We soon walked out of the building, the cold air hitting me in the face was like a bucket of water waking me up completely form my fuzzy mind.

His offering felt uncanny, something seemed to have hanged in his demeanor as he spilled the words. Why would he say that now out of every moment?

- whatever it takes to save him - I tell him, already regretting my honesty - name your price.

Holding my chin up he urned my face to the side guiding my eyes on the target standing ahead us, I spotted the figure of the Chris guy from earlier and he seemed to be talking with someone on the phone with a few bodyguards around him as one held the door for a black Mercedes opened for him.

No wonder Yoongi would want that guy out too, it was clear that men was working against Yoongi and from what i could tell hes the one who’s been helping Namjoon to get him. He must think that by working with him hell be able to take Yoongi down and claim his empire all to himself.

I turned back to yoongi his eyes held a cold light over them as he locked them over mine his signature smirk already forming over his lips like usual, the scar looked seemed more darker this time. Something about him had changed completely ever since we step foot in Paradise tonight and I wondered if he had this all planed even fore we leave the mansion.

- kill him and your brother will be free.

I felt all the air from my lungs leave me completely, feeling helpless under his eyes. He had this all set up from the beginning, I could tell just by the look in his eyes. This was the test he had set up for me not finding Han seo but actually killing Chris, the real culprit. The one behind Namjoons entrance at Paradise and leak of informations about Agust d.

The price for my brothers freedom was just a few feet away from me.

I didn’t know when it came to this, when everything turned so fuzzy like a dream. When my hand slided over Yoongis shoulder towards his hip we’re I knew from the beginning he had his silver pistol, when my fingers closed around the cold metal as we walked out of Paradise. When I stoped in front of the black Mercedes, my mind was completely clouded like my body wasn’t mine anymore.

The blonde, Chris turned back to us eyes looking over at Yoongi behind me in desperation as he soon realized what situation he was in, He immediately turned the phone call off. Looking at the man in front of me up and down, balancing my options. If he was gone then my brother will be free.

I tried my best to think he was the bad guy. He is a criminal. He hurts people. So why is so hard to do this? His life does not worth more then my brothers.

Not thinking more I aimed at him shooting at his leg, watching as he immediately fell into his knees. A painful groan leaving his mouth as he looked up in fear. Screaming in pain his body guards did nothing as more of a Yoongis men closed around us there.

The sudden sound grabbed the attention of the people outside, some gasps feeling the air as more and more people watched us from afar.

- Agust please! Why are you doing this! - he groaned out, holding his leg were i just shoot him.

Some shocked breaths were heard in the back as well as steps behind me, I didn’t need to look to know it was him. A feeling of deja vu suddenly creeping into my body as a shiver as well with the cold wind blowing over my face.

- you seemed to have forgotten why you shouldn’t mess with me - Yoongi said, walking closer until he was right beside me.

He chuckled before holding the pistol against my hand, his body completely pressed over mine one hand losing around my waist I felt his cold breath hitting my cheeks as he slowly closed his finger over the trigger.

- who ever messes with Agust d…. - he said, turning slightly towards my face I looked up at him the smirk still dancing over his features. I could see flames in his eyes as he spoke the last words - will die…

Bang.

I didn’t look.

He held my hand firmly with the pistol. Eyes now locked with mine.

Bang.

[…]

Notes; Things should end how hey started right? I’m so sorry guys it took me so long to updated the story for you all, ive been working my ass off to get it perfectly so you guys can have a great time enjoying this chapter. I would also like to inform that it will take a while until the next chapter of Set Met Free since ill be focusing on Crazy Over you until is finish. Ill try me best to get it done soon. Love you all, thank yo for all your support always. THIS IS NOT A GOODBYE LOLOL. I’m staying until i finish them all!!

Tag list; @catlove83 @passionandsuga @agustdwifey @crystallizedtime @cuntessaiii @rosquilleta @nochook @fatmaortiz @wobblewobble822 @mygdday @sazsazsaz @coralmusicblaze @missmin @whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe @tarahardcore @manuosorio @thvlover @4ukiyo4 @missroro @btspurplesky @i-am-invisible-for-you @celticcountrygal @fairywriter-oracle @m4gg13-g @unadulteratedlyunique @anaspectoflife @younhakim29 @slinekyu @nochookiee @strxwbloody @yoongislatinagff @pandafuriosa60 @kimsonlyluv @be0mluver @sukonsukuna @amariemoore @starrlo0ver @effielumiere @lovelgirl22 @baechugff @sassyfoxunknown @poochieshooky @seonghwaexile @oldymoody @xyahrinx

#bts fanfiction #bts smut #bts x you #bts yoongi #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #bts suga #jimin x reader #bts drabble #min yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #min yoongi fanfic #min yoongi smut #min yoongi x oc #bts jungkook #bts au #bts mafia au #yoongi mafia

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odinsblog · 4 months

Text

I know you’ve heard about Harrison Butker by now, and his embarrassment of a commencement speech at Benedictine College. You’ve probably seen the NFL kicker roasted six ways from Sunday for his misogyny, hypocrisy, and regressive nonsense. People have already written about his stupidity, everyone has memed his nonsense, and conservatives have applauded him for advocating for a return to the 1950s. That is exactly what he was doing, unashamedly. Butker delivered countless awful lines, saying, “Things like abortion, IVF, surrogacy, euthanasia, as well as a growing support for degenerate cultural values in media, all stem from the pervasiveness of disorder.” Which is an ugly mix of law and order rhetoric and sexism, a mix that makes no logical sense but scratches a certain itch in the mind of his conservative audience.

I just want to briefly add to the criticism of this Super Bowl winner, who will probably run for office before too long. Specifically, I want to highlight the inane variety of patriarchal bullshit running through his speech, and his apparent approach to the world. Butker and men like him are trying to sell us a load of hot garbage, and get men to be the worst version of themselves. They’re trying to make us see ourselves as victims, and encouraging us to use that false belief as fuel to go out and hurt other people. We can and should reject that directive.

We should reject it for countless reasons, but I think the place to start is to look at this guy telling us we’ve been oppressed by society and so we should stand up and be real men and tell women to be homemakers. He makes four million dollars a year to kick a ball, he’s won the Super Bowl, and he’s still a miserable person pretending to be a victim. All that wealth, all the success, and he’s going to speak at a college to tell young women, “I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.”

As they’re graduating college to go out into the world, he’s telling them to stay home and be mothers. He’s theoretically reached the American dream, and he’s spending his time telling college girls to be “homemakers.”

Oh and in the days since his speech it’s come out that his mom is an accomplished physicist. But nevertheless.

(continue reading)

#politics #harrison butker #republicans #white grievance #toxic masculinity #christian nationalism #benedictine college #misogyny #fragile masculinity #victim complex #homophobia #terfs dni #victim envy #patriarchy #victim mindset #victim mentality #religious reich

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robertreich · 1 year

Video

youtube

We Need to Make Government Bigger (It’s Not What You Think)

We need to make the House of Representatives bigger!

Now I know what some might be thinking: “Make the government bigger?” Well, technically yes. But that's missing the point. We need to expand the House to make the government work better, and be more responsive to our needs.

Put simply: The House of Representatives does not have enough members to adequately represent all 334 million of us.

Now, the House hasn’t always had 435 members and it was never intended to stay the same size forever. For the first 140 years of America’s existence, a growing House of Reps was actually the norm.

It wasn’t until 1929 that Congress arbitrarily decided to cap the size of the House at 435 members. Back then, each House member represented roughly 200,000 people.

But since then, the population of the United States has more than tripled, bringing the average number of constituents up to roughly 760,000.

Compared to other democracies, we are one of the worst in terms of how many constituents a single legislator is supposed to represent. Only in India does the average representative have more constituents.

And as America continues to grow it's only going to get worse.

Think your representative doesn’t listen to you now? Just wait.

Not surprisingly, research shows that representatives from more populous House districts tend to be less accessible to their constituents, and less popular.

Thankfully, the solution is simple: allow the House to grow.

Increasing the number of representatives should be a no brainer for at least four reasons:

First, logically, more representatives would mean fewer people in each congressional district — improving the quality of representation.

Second, a larger House would be more diverse. Despite recent progress, today’s House is still overwhelmingly male, white, and middle-aged. More representatives means more opportunities for young people, people of color, and women to run for office — and win.

Third, this reduces the power of Big Money. Running an election in a smaller district would be less expensive, increasing the likelihood that people elect representatives that respond to their interests rather than big corporations and the wealthy.

Fourth, this would help reduce the Electoral College’s bias toward small states in presidential elections. As more heavily populated states gain more representatives in Congress — they also gain more electoral votes.

Now, some might say that a larger House of Representatives would be unwieldy and unmanageable.

Well, Japan, Germany, France, and the UK — countries with smaller populations than us — all have larger legislatures — and they manage just fine.

Others might say that it would be too difficult — or expensive — to accommodate more representatives in the Capitol. “Are there even enough chairs???”

Seriously?

Look, we’ve done it before. The current Capitol has been expanded to accommodate more members several times — and it can be again. A building should not be an obstacle to a more representative democracy.

Increasing the size of the House is an achievable goal.

We don’t even need a constitutional amendment. Congress only needs to pass a law to expand the number of representatives, which it’s done numerous times.

And as it happens, there is a bill — two in fact!

Each would add more than 130 seats to the House and lower the number of constituents a typical representative serves from 761,000 to a little over 570,000. Plus, there is a mechanism for adding new members down the line.

These bills are our best chance to restore the tradition of a House that grows in representation as America grows.

It’s time for us to think big — and make the People’s House live up to its name.

#youtube #democracy #government #politics #democrats #republicans #donald trump #elections #videos #video

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creedslove · 1 year

Text

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART EIGHTEEN

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: You and the cowboy spend some time alone, talking about your lives and having an intimate moment. Then, Jack has a heartfelt conversation with his son and asks for his help in order to do something really special for his sugar

(This is the eighteenth chapter of my HEARTLESS 💔 series)

• PART ONE TO SEVENTEEN ON MY MASTERLIST

Warnings: angst, hurt, sad!cowboy, mentions of death, brief mentions of suicide attempt, fluff, smut (oral sex m!receiving and unprotected piv), mom!reader

A/N: besties, I know it's been quite a while, but I seem to have lost the inspiration to write in the past couple of weeks but it's finally back and so is our cowboy! Also, this chapter ended up a lot longer and smuttier than I expected and I hope you all enjoyed it as well! Feedback is life, so let me know what you besties think of this story!

5.5k words

Silver Star rested quietly on the green field, feeling tired after playing with Wyatt the whole day; the small animal was warm and felt when their best friend wrapped his small arms around their body, resting against the soft fur and closed his eyes.

If Jack had seen that scene any other day, he would be in a mix of happiness and affection, he loved his son so much sometimes he thought it would open a hole into his chest, right through his heart, as the love was so intense and overwhelming, and it was because of that love Jack felt like dying at that moment, he couldn't accept the pure, genuine love he felt from his son could end like that, not after what that witch he was forced to call a mother-in-law. It was so cruel to have done that to an innocent, sweet child like Wyatt. The older woman could have done anything she wanted to Whiskey himself, she could've said any words that came to her mind, it didn't matter, but she had no right to do that to his son. Wyatt refused to talk to him, the memory of his beautiful face red with tears falling down as he sniffed and looked between his mommy and his daddy, needing support and assurance, but the painful words his grandma told him stung so heavily into his chest it was hard to breathe, he could only feel a little better when he ran into his beautiful friend: Silver Star.

Jack watched his son dozing off next to his pony from his home office's window. He downed a second glass of whiskey as he sighed and dried the stubborn tears that insisted on running down his cheek. Jack had learned from a young age from his pa that men weren't supposed to cry, that crying was something done by weak people and that real men needed to hide their feelings, even better if they acted as if they didn't have any, that would be the right thing.

But unfortunately, from a younger age, he learned that things weren't like that; tragedies happened every day to good people and it was just so hard not to cry, to hold things back, Jack learned the hard way that pretending not to have feelings could destroy a man, it nearly destroyed him, his relationship with the woman he loved the most in the world and prevented him from building a beautiful father and son relationship, to which he was grateful to no end; his sugar and their baby boy Wyatt was the best thing he could have ever had, the way it changed his life that was once shallow and empty into something worth living. The cowboy just had to do something about it, but he didn't know what or how to. If he didn't feel so bad about the entire situation, it would've been quite funny to see a senior agent like himself, who was able to take a group of men down with a lasso without much effort, was just so anxious about dealing with a four-year-old. You, on the other hand, stood right outside Jack's office, not sure if you should enter it or not. You wanted to talk to him, touch him, look into his warm, heart-warming eyes, kiss his perfect soft lips and remind him everything was alright, that your family was a beautiful and strong one, that your son would walk into the door with his tummy howling in hunger and the three of you would have a delicious dinner together, but you didn't know until that extent it would happen; you didn't know how hurt Jack was, but you knew it was a lot, maybe he was somehow blaming it on you, and you couldn't even argue with that, as it was your mom who did it, who made that scene and angered you to no end. It wasn't your fault, but you felt guilty because you had never imagined your mom would be that low towards you and your son. Jack had made so many mistakes, but he was a good man, he was kind and sweet and he would never hurt you and your son ever again. It was unfair and heartbreaking to say the least.

After thinking to yourself way too many times, you decided to enter, seeing he hadn't locked himself in, but he was sitting on his chair, watching out the window as Wyatt spent time with Silver Pony.

"Jack?" You called him in a soft, low voice, hoping he wouldn't bark at you. Overall, Jack was a gentleman, but you'd seen his ugly side and you really hoped it wouldn't be the case at that moment. You were silent as you approached him, your fingers tangling into his stubborn curls that tried to make an appearance, they were messy from his usage of the hat and it had given him a boyish look. You smiled at him, as he looked up at you, his face was serious and his eyes were red from crying; it broke your heart, your mom had no right to cause that much trouble to your family. Taking another step, you stood in front of him, sitting on his lap and wrapping your arm around his shoulder. Jack let out a sigh and hid his face into your neck, nuzzling your skin softly and taking in your scent, there was nothing he loved more in the world than your body, your weight, your scent on him. You could feel his lips on your skin, his mustache tickling you softly as his arms formed a tight grip, his big hands groping your body in a way it moved your body as closely to his as possible.

"Sugar, I-"

"Shh, don't say anything cowboy, I know it" she said and kissed his temple, right where Harry's bullet had broken the skin and killed your man for a couple of hours. That story always made shivers run down your spine, you couldn't believe he had died and Ginger had managed to bring him back to life and to you, but you never wanted him to leave again.

"Don't leave me again, Jack, please, I beg you, my heart won't take another disappointment from you" you said and his lips trailed their way down your neck

"I ain't never leaving you, sugar… I need you as much as you need me, we're meant to be and no matter what happened, that witch ain't breaking us apart" his voice was serious and firm, he was never leaving his son nor his sugar, that was a fact, Jack's heart was only beating because of his family, that was the only thing that has kept him alive after the last disastrous events of his life. He was sure that if it weren't the love he felt for his beloved son and sugar he would've just been gone, either when he tried doing it through his own hands or when he nearly found his fate inside the meat grinder.

"I'm so sorry sugar, your mom is a horrible person, you are so different from her, and the things she said, about you and Wyatt being a replacement… it isn't true, I love you both with all my heart, it was this love that kept me alive for so long, otherwise I wouldn't have-"

"Don't go on missions anymore, Jack. Please. You have a great position at Statesman, both the agency and the company, you don't need the money, nor the thrill, you don't have to risk not coming home anymore, I know you won't be reckless, but Wyatt and I need you, what happened today was just a bump on the way, our son is crazy for you and if you just go and talk to him, with patience, I'm sure he will understand, he's small, but he's as smart as his handsome daddy" you smiled at your cowboy and pecked his lips gently. He looked at you with his sad eyes and it felt like your heart was pierced through

"I know what's going through this thick skull of yours cowboy, I know exactly how you are torturing yourself and before you go further into it, remember that my mom is a bitter woman, she's someone who doesn't accept I take my own decisions, if she got angry because of what happened between us it would be understandable, but we both know it isn't because of that, it's just because she simply can't accept I love you and we have a family together"

"But sugar, the things she said there's some truth to it… I made you go away as if you meant nothing and -" his voice broke and Jack's eyes filled with tears once more, he had hurt you so much and he already suffered his punishment, which was carrying that guilt for the rest of his life.

"You did, Jack Daniels. And it was the worst thing you could have ever done to someone who only loved you, to an innocent baby who grew up in my womb without even knowing what was happening, but Jack…" you held his head between your hands and looked into his eyes "you regret it so bad, I'm sure the pain and the guilt you feel now is worse than the pain you caused me, and I'm not going to lie, I think you'll suffer with it for a long time, cowboy, but what I can offer you now is my forgiveness and my love and a second chance so we can start over, it will never erase what happened between us, so if something similar ever happens again, you can be sure you will never see me or Wyatt again" you told him seriously, but you expression softened up immediately as you leaned towards him and pecked his lips once more, longer this time, your hand touching his smooth cheek, as you deepened it, a soft muffled sound of pleasure coming from you, so you broke the kiss and nibbled his lower lip

"That ain't never happening, sugar, I promise you with my life, that I will never disappoint you and Wyatt ever again, all I want is to be the best husband and father in the world, I love you so much, sugar… You are the love of my life; I tried fighting that off for so long, I tried running away from this feeling, even before our son, I already knew it but couldn't accept it, but you had always been the one, I know I don't deserve it, but if you just give me one chance, one simple chance, I can make you my wife and maybe one day, we could give our son a little brother or a little sister-"

You kissed the cowboy in order to shut him up. Jack often talked too much, sometimes it was something good, and sometimes it was something bad, at that moment, after you both opened your hearts, you didn't want to discuss the future, not that you didn't want it with him, you were certain you did, you wanted to marry that stupid cowboy, not so sure about another Daniels baby, not yet, but you definitely wanted your family together for good; however, at that moment you both needed something else, you needed to be close, to show each other you were there physically rather than using just words. You looked outside the window and smiled sadly at the sight of Wyatt dozing off next to his pony, but you knew that was something only Jack could fix later, so you closed the blinders and turned to him, lowering yourself and kissing him "let me take care of my cowboy, mm? Let me show him how much I love and appreciate him, make him close his eyes and relax and forget about his problems and sorrows" you whispered against his neck, your teeth sinking into his skin in an affectionate way, nibbling his flesh at the same time your hands roamed around his torso, unbuttoning his shirt and finding his warmth underneath it, the cowboy was experienced and knew exactly where that was going, his eyes darkened with lust at the same time his right hand tangled into your hair, bringing it into a messy ponytail while you got on your knees in front of him.

"Fuck sugar, what are you doing to me? You wanna kill your old cowboy like that?" He bit his lips and looked down at you, loving how you smiled at him and undid his belt. You rested your arms on his thick thighs, undoing his pants at the same time you could see his bulge getting bigger and bigger, the tent forming in his pants could be amusing if you weren't so needy of him. The thought of taking his cock into your mouth was causing you to feel as if you were on fire for your cowboy. Senior Agent Whiskey would never fail in turning you into a cock slut for him.

He stared into your eyes, giving you a consenting nod and showing he was ready for his treat

"Don't be sad my cowboy, let me show you your worth" you purred with innocent eyes at the same time you freed his cock. Wrapped your hands around his length, feeling it pulsating under your touch, his warm skin, his popping veins and that glistening tip, filled with pre cum, it all made you lick your lips before finally taking your cowboy into your mouth. You left hand gripped the side of his thigh, nails sinking softly into his skin as you went deeper down onto him, taking his length as far as you could, feeling the cowboy pulsating in the back of your throat. The right hand holding him by the base, and then going to his heavy balls, it always made them quiver and the cowboy whimpered whenever you touched, massaged and gently squeezed them. You turned your attention back to his needy tip, suckling on it, and felt how tight his grip was on your hair. It made you even more turned on, your inner walls clenching as you felt the pooling arousal at the same time your hard clit throbbed, needing some attention from that cowboy's rough hands or soft, devilish tongue. His breathing got heavier, he panted and his dirty words lost among obscene sounds coming from his mouth and you knew he was close, it was just a matter of seconds for you to taste his hot load.

"Sugar, stop" he groaned and held you by the hair, stopping you from continuing tasting him, just as he licked his lips "come on, sit on my cock, ride your fucking cowboy" he demanded in a serious tone which was more than enough evidence he was in charge again. You nodded obediently, leaving a soft, chaste kiss on his tip, causing his cock to throb some more and stood in front of him.

Jack's hands were sloppy as he undressed you, he wasn't too careful, the urge and the rush to get you naked, the way he stripped you off your jeans and thumbed your sensitive clit over your thin panties. He wasn't a patient man, not at that moment, so he used his index finger to move your panties to the side by its string. He let out another low groan the moment the fabric brushed against your soaked lips and he could see the wet puddle it formed, he loved to see how wet you were for him, you were his perfect slut, and he wouldn't trade that for any other cunt in the world. His fingers spread your pussy lips apart just enough for him to take a good look at your wetness and how hard your clit was. He chuckled seeing it throbbed at nothing but air and he knew you were perfect for him, you took his cock so well, all your holes were his and no one would touch you but that goddamn cowboy.

"Come here, sugar, your cowboy needs you, be a good fucking slut and ride me" he said and pulled you to his lap, helping you straddle him as he gripped the base of his cock, using his own tip to slap it against your clit. You moved your hips without any words, letting his tip rub against your clit slowly at first but fastening the pace as his length ran through your wet folds, just enough to have your honey spread all over his shaft

"Mm don't tease me cowboy, please, I need it as much as you do" you whimpered and in response Jack kissed you once more. His hands went for your hips, sustaining your weight and helping you sink down onto him. You slippery cunt stretching at the size of him and sliding so quickly, making you feel full and whole because of him; it was a feeling you never wanted to let go, you knew you belonged to him, that damn cowboy would be your owner, your master forever. As you moved slightly on top of him, you took both of his hands and placed it on your breasts, Jack fucking loved your tits, how soft they were, your pretty nipples pearking hard. He squeezed them, massaging gently while his thumbs ghosted over your nipples, at the same time you moved faster on top of him, riding the cowboy at your own pace, not getting enough of him, ever.

Jack pulled your torso forward, taking his hungry mouth to your nipples, suckling on each of them while his hands traveled to your ass cheeks, squeezing them and sustaining your weight so you could ride him faster and more safely. You frowned as he ignored your clit on purpose, you didn't understand why he was such a tease sometimes, but even if avoided your sensitive spot, your walls didn't fail in tightening and contracting and he felt that knot in his lower belly. He knew he wouldn't hold back any longer, so he stopped you and pulled you for another kiss

"Get off me, sugar" he commanded as you felt a little confused at first, not understanding exactly why he told you to stop riding him, but it all made sense when he stood up right behind you and told you to sit on his desk with your legs spread, which you gladly obeyed your cowboy, biting your lips as he took his time watching your body at full display for him.

"You like it, cowboy?"

"You know I fucking do, my beautiful sugar, you are always so sweet to me, only when you are being a filthy dirty slut, then you are my best girl, baby girl" he groaned and slapped your cunt without a warning, smirking at the whimper you let out. Then, Jack lowered himself, hovering over you, using his right hand to spread your pussy lips wide, making your clit so exposed to him, at his mercy, before he just lapped at it, he didn't touch the rest of your pussy though, only his tongue flicked your needy clit, the cowboy's left hand was strong enough to hold you in place the moment he began suckling on your sensitive bundle of nerves. Your pussy hole wouldn't stop clenching and gaping so softly at the cowboy's ministrations, you gushed wetness, as it dropped down your asshole and it made him savor every passing second of having you as he pleased. He knew your body just as well as you knew his and the moment he focused on how your legs were shaking, how burning hot your skin felt against his own, he just knew you were close to your orgasm.

But Whiskey wasn't letting you cum just yet, not while he didn't fuck you exactly the way he wanted to. So Jack gave your clit one last lick and smirked at you, his hands flipping you over his desk "spread these beautiful legs, sugar, take my cock like you love it, baby" he whispered into your ear, kissing your neck and using his teeth to nibble at it at the same time he slid his cock once more inside of you. Whiskey's hands were on your hips, holding you by your sides as he adjusted the pace and then went for your hair, gripping at it as he fucked you. The cowboy knew he couldn't hold it any longer and the moment he felt your cunt clenching around him, your clit rubbing against the cool wood of his desk at the same he railed you was enough to set you to your very needed orgasm. You moaned your cowboy's name as loud as you could, his cock was ball deep inside of you at the same time you felt that characteristic throbbing and your Whiskey couldn't hold it anymore, cumming hard, with a loud groan while his thick load flooded into you.

•••

Jack rubbed your arms as you snuggled towards him as tight as you could, while the two of you shared the small couch he kept in his home office. You were still in your orgasm haze, wrapping your head around everything that happened between you and your cowboy, thinking of how intense your wave of lust had been; one moment you two were having a heartfelt, serious and emotional conversation and the next, you were riding your cowboy. However, it felt just so good, so carefree, so loved and desired. Jack Daniels knew how to touch a woman and make her feel like a goddess, that you had to give into your cowboy. As your eyes were getting heavy, you felt him nuzzling your neck, his hand resting on your stomach as he rubbed your belly gently and looked into your eyes

"Funny how I wanted another child so bad and yet I can't even get our son to talk to me after what happened" he sighed and you shook your head, pecking his lips

"Wyatt loves you like crazy, he's a little hurt and he needed his space, go talk to him in a while and he will be the sweetest child we both know" you assured him, taking his hand and entwining your fingers together.

Your cowboy kissed your lips gently, stroking your cheek with his gentle touch under rough hands and stared into your eyes with his warm brown ones, a soft frown appearing on his face

"What made you change your mind about me… well, us?"

You licked your lips and stared at him, would he be mad if he knew the real reason? Would Jack consider it a lack of privacy? Perhaps he would even find it offensive? You weren't very sure… visiting his first wife's grave seemed so personal, something he had always done and openly talked about it but never really invited you to do so, which you understood perfectly and felt quite relieved because you didn't know how you would do so, however, you decided you wouldn't keep any secrets from your cowboy, you two were starting your relationship once more and building it up over a bunch of lies wouldn't work at all.

"I-I went to Gabriella's grave, Jack… yesterday, when you took our son to Statesman with you, I hadn't planned on it, but while I was riding Silver Pony I ended up going too far from the property and accidentally stopped by the cemetery, then I thought I should just walk in, I'm sorry if you don't like it for whatever reason or if you think it was an invasion to your privacy, I just wanted to pay my respect to someone who was so important to you, and while I was there, I realized life is too short, and it's not fair wasting our time playing hard to get. We love each other, we want to be together, we have a beautiful son, a small but gorgeous family and our whole future ahead of us, I mean… Why not?!" You poured your heart out, being as honest as someone could be, showing him how much you meant it, and in return, Jack leaned towards you, kissing you again, his heart was a puddle of love and affection, he couldn't even imagine you had gone to Gabriella's grave, not even in his wildest dreams, but he wasn't mad, quite the opposite, it brought peace within him, to know you had acknowledged her story with him in a physical way, instead of just having heard about it, it comforted him and it made him feel better about himself.

"I love you, sugar, with my whole heart"

•••

After taking you to his master bedroom so you could shower and relax, Jack decided to go after Wyatt. He had given his son enough time but he wanted to make things clear, talk to his son honestly and explain to him that everything that old witch had said was filled with poison. While you were in the shower, he managed to take something he wanted from his nightstand drawer and headed to the kitchen, knowing exactly what could possibly cheer his son up. Cutting up a generous slice of the peach pie you'd made and a huge spoon of vanilla ice cream, Jack had a safe guess the way to his son's pure little heart was a good dessert, just as his own, when Jack Daniels was nothing but a little boy as well. He chuckled at himself and hoped that would work for them. Walking through the green fields, he didn't take long to spot his son and his beloved pony. Silver Star seemed exhausted after spending the whole day playing, lying on the grass as Wyatt caressed its fur gently, he wouldn't stop talking and giggling, certainly telling his friend all about a fascinating story that inhabited his creative mind. Jack's heart warmed with how sweet he truly was, sitting down next to him and gently rubbing his son's back. Wyatt wasn't expecting and jumped a little startled.

"Daddy?!"

"I thought you'd like some sugar, cowboy," Jack said, offering his son a plate with the pie and ice cream, Wyatt watching it with wide eyes as his tummy growled. Only at that moment he remembered he hadn't eaten anything the whole day and that pie looked and smelled so yummy when his mommy was making it. The little boy extended his small hands and took the plate carefully, taking a big bite and moaning in approval at the taste of it. He chewed up his dessert calmly and giggled as Silver Star leaned towards Jack's touch while the cowboy rubbed her face gently.

"She likes you daddy!" Wyatt said sweetly and stared at Whiskey, who tried organizing his thoughts in order to know the right thing to say and above all, trying to hide the nervousness. One could think it was actually quite funny to see senior Agent Whiskey acting that way, but a conversation with his son was much more important than any high profile meeting he could ever have with Champ or another member of the agency. He cleared his throat softly

"Wyatt, daddy wants to talk to you… Mommy and I are very sorry about the things grandma said, she had no right to say those mean things. Some people are so sad and bitter they can't handle seeing other people like you, your beautiful mama and me happy, and unfortunately grandma is one of these people, do you understand?"

Wyatt nodded softly and wouldn't break eye contact with his daddy, he was tiny yes, but so smart and attentive, and the cowboy's heart weighed heavily with pride at how similar his son was to his beautiful sugar.

"So… what grandma said isn't true, I love you and your beautiful mama so much, my boy. You and her are my world, I will always love and cherish you both, daddy had another family, yeah. We, uh-" his voice broke as Jack was still getting used to talking about them so frequently, they spent so long it his memory it was kind of odd to mention them so often, especially to his son, who was only a child, but showed great emotional intelligence, just by the way he placed his tiny little hand on top of his daddy, in a silent way to reassure him and tell him to go on.

"Well, we, uh.. I mean, I had a family, a long time ago, way before I met your beautiful mama, I was married to another girl, she was also beautiful and kind, and we had a little boy too, but he was still very tiny and he lived in her belly, like one day you lived in your Mama's belly…"

"What happened, daddy?" Wyatt couldn't hold back his curiosity and wanted to know more about it.

"Well, they went to live in heaven and daddy was all alone for a very long time. Until one day I met your mom, my sugar and my life changed for good. Your mommy was and she still is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and for the first time in years I had a reason to smile, to feel happy, but the fact that my first family had to go live in heaven still scared me a lot, and when I found out your mommy was carrying you in her belly" Jack brushed his thumb over his son's cheek in a gentle caress "... I was terrified that one day you and mommy would be gone too, so I made her go away, but I regret this every single day because there's nothing in the world that I love more than you and her, and I will never be away from the two of you, ever again. I promise you, my son, we will always be a family. All I'm trying to say is that no matter what grandma says, I love you and your mommy and I hope one day you can forgive me for what happened"

Jack looked down, trying to hide the annoying, insisting tears that ran down his cheek. He sniffed and wiped his face, being surprised by how fast Wyatt climbed up his lap and hugged him.

"I love you daddy" he said not understanding why his dad had tears in his eyes, but he knew that whenever he cried, his mommy would always hold him, so he figured it would work out with his daddy too.

Whiskey wrapped his arms around his son's small frame, kissing the top of his head and rubbing his back gently, that cowboy knew he didn't deserve that much love, forgiveness and affection from his son and you, he'd been too bad for the two of you, but he was going to get down on his knees every single day and thank the Lord for being so blessed like he was.

He kept his son in a tight embrace, not many words were needed, just the two of them, the big cowboy and the little one, in each other's company silently proving nothing could come between their bond.

It took them a few minutes to calm down their emotions and finally be able to talk about other things, just as if nothing had happened, Wyatt finished his dessert and told his dad about his fun afternoon with Silver Star. Jack listened to it intently, as if it was the most interesting piece of information in the world, and well, to him it was, because he loved his son and he was fascinated by him on a daily basis, still being a little shocked at how a child could be so smart and precious like he was. Only when Jack patted his pocket, was that he remembered one thing he needed to discuss with his son.

"Wyatt, I know you love your mommy as much as I love her, right? So I need your help to do something really nice for her, but it gotta be a cowboy secret okay? So you can't tell mommy"

And Wyatt was sold at that moment; he loved his mommy and he loved doing nice things for his mommy and above all, he was so excited to be a part of a cowboy secret, which meant only his daddy and him could know what it was, after all, Wyatt was already a cowboy and he liked it. He nodded eagerly and Jack laughed, getting the small box out of his pocket and opened it, showing his son the gorgeous engagement ring he had bought

"I need your cowboy help to make mommy a surprise so I can give her this, alright?!"

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