#( death mention / )

[prokopetz]

While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.

Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the Onion, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.

(EDIT: Fixed a sentence incorrectly suggesting that Clickhole is still affiliated with the Onion – it totally slipped my mind that they'd sold it back in 2020.)

[prokopetz]

I think this might actually be the funniest party-game heist caper RPG I've seen since Honey Heist. Bravo.

200 Word RPGs 2024

Each November, some people try to write a novel. Others would prefer to do as little writing as possible. For those who wish to challenge their ability to not write, we offer this alternative: producing a complete, playable roleplaying game in two hundred words or fewer.

This is the submission thread for the 2024 event, running from November 1st, 2024 through November 30th, 2024. Submission guidelines can be found in this blog's pinned post, here.

[kazooiesart]

[podcastwizard]

ideal ways for me to die

1. old age, peacefully in my sleep

2. after a long and illustrious career i am at a rooftop gala hosted in my honor. i am wearing a beautiful gown, holding a glass of red wine, standing by the railing. a scorned lover approaches and, after a passionate spat, they push me over the edge of the building. the wine glass goes flying, splattering their outfit in red as a visual metaphor for the blood on their hands. as i descend my gown flies around me like two beautiful wings, a bird in flight. a photographer on the street manages to take a photo before i hit the ground and that photo wins the pulitzer. a new york times think piece is released regarding whether or not it's moral to profit off a photo of someone's death. the think piece also wins a pulitzer.

3. sex accident.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

girl what

[ribghoul]

my girlfriend is able to take like a 20-min nap and bounce back with full energy. idk how she does that. when i lie down i wake up 12 years later in a hospital bed i rip the IV out of my arm and stumble into the hallway the whole building is littered with bodies, i make my way back to my house but my wife and children are long gone

[earhartsease]

we still get immediately shoved out of our immersion in tv shows or films when The Girl find a dead body and immediately shrieks - we just don't find it realistic because we're pretty confident most people would gasp rather than shriek (i.e. sharp inhale rather than sharp exhale) and it also feels unnecessarily (and predictably) misogynistic too, as men encountering corpses almost never do the same on screen

also of course please do tell us if you've actually encountered a corpse unexpectedly, because tumblr is absolutely a place where some people have done this thing and we love a good anecdote

suddenly imagining "burst into song" as a potential response

edit: since lots of people are still responding to this (we were amazed at the huge response over a just 24 hour poll), we want to make it clearer that we were never saying "of course nobody shrieks", we were railing against how on screen, women always do in an over dramatic way, and when men do it's made fun of like they've emasculated themselves by shrieking (so it's clearly a deliberate misogynistic trope)

meanwhile of course some people do shriek, as clearly demonstrated not just by the nearly 11% in the poll, but by all the tags we got inundated with - the main responses seem to be: gasp, swear loudly, vomit, grunt or make some other kind of other inarticulate noise, and shriek

anyway, thanks for playing

[kawaiijohn]

After the hurricane recovery is starting in the states and the damage is so bad in some places, they're either gone or don't have a single road left into town.

The power outage map for the states affected is honestly astounding. I actually know friends in southwestern Ohio that had a tornado/cyclonic thunderstorm from this system knock their power out.

Some places might not get power back for 2+ weeks.

The western half of North Carolina, where the Appalachian mountains are, is so badly damaged that some news stations are warning from any travel, and to consider every road closed until further notice.

Asherville is so damaged there seem to be almost no major roads left in or out of town.

The flooding from this storm is devastating and has destroyed entire towns and wiped some off the map. Damns and other infrastructure are failing all over the affected areas.

Until the flood waters recede sometime in the next few days, we won't have a full scope of just how badly people have been affected, nor will we have a final death toll.

Oh also, apparently the governor of Tennessee has not declared a state of emergency despite several places being catastrophically inundated. Instead he's done this, which is pissing a lot of people off.

[fghniki]

shout out to technoblade for posting new videos from beyond the grave. commitment to the grind we should all be striving towards

[420technoblazeit]

has anybody else seen the bit in tommy's new video yet. where he asks mumbo jumbo if he can revive technoblade with redstone. bc that actually made my jaw DROP hol yshit. the pause just before he says it. you can hear the gears turning in phil's head as he realizes what tommy's about to say. the immediate psychic damage. truly horrid thank you tommy. ik techno would be losing it over that joke

[j4v4r10]

I REALLY liked the new stuff in pristine cut.

Before, I had routes I liked, but several that I didn’t really care for. Razor is ugh, didn’t like the beast and den, drowned grey was annoying if you just didn’t do that thing. My previous favorite was apotheosis, but it was frustratingly short!

And then, almost everything in pristine cut was S-tier. First new one I tried was Prison3r (with broken) and I LOVED it. The Den rapidly rose to one of my favorite routes, with pretty much any of its endings! Dams3l was so sweet it left me wistful at the end, but I think I loved Sp3ctre even more? And of course, I had high hopes for Apotheosis, and it blew them away leaving me a little misty-eyed.

I think the one part I liked the least was the whole “Are you still there? Are you still you?” thing iykyk but besides that, I think they are crowding out the old goodies as my favorites.

It's actually kind of impressive how nearly every extended route in The Pristine Cut manages to be more fucked up than the old route it's supplementing. Like, yes, bad-ending variants of existing happy endings, that's expected, but taking endings where you literally get blown up and making them worse is a feat.

[thebibliosphere]

Not to keep reliving trauma on main, but I'm getting weird deja vu from where my health was a few years ago and where it's at now. And most of it is revolving around Good Omens.

In May of 2019, we genuinely thought I was dying because I was dying. My organs were in the process of shutting down because my red blood cells were prematurely self-destructing and damaging my kidneys in the process, and I was rapidly coming to terms with the fact that I might not survive much longer. I'd fought the good fight, and I'd lost. Mostly due to medical neglect. And I was mad about a lot of things, but do you know what I remember from the traumatic blur I'm left with?

"I'm going to be so pissed if I die before Good Omens comes out."

I'd waited 20+ years at that point for something like a tv adaptation of Good Omens. Ever since I was a child and my dad read the book to me, and I fell in love with it. And here I was, mere weeks away from the TV release and on the verge of death.

Then like a miracle, a miracle that hinged on human compassion and a doctor being willing to listen to me, I was saved. Dragged back from the jaws of death by a relentless hematology department that refused to give up on me and ultimately saved my life. And a week later, I got to watch Good Omens propped up in my own bed, still weak, still ill, with my heart stuttering in my chest every time I laughed. And I remember thinking, "I did it. I got to see it."

That it's now it's 2023 and my health has tanked again. My organs are rebelling against me and no one seems to know why. But yet again, a few weeks before Good Omens is set to release, I find a doctor who listens to me and is doing all he can to help. Striving with the grim kind of determination that can only come from a place of compassion and care. Like my world is worth saving, and not just his.

Which is rather fitting, I think.

[crabussy]

hi gang. reminder that we are some of the best sweaters in the animal kingdom (second only to equines) allowing us to stay cool and keep moving in hot weather. we have 10 times the density of sweat glands compared to other great apes.

we are ALSO insanely good at smelling rain (specifically geosmin, found in the soil and activated by rain) with the ability to smell 10 parts per trillion. this is speculated to have helped our ancestors survive!

we ALSO have absolutely batshit diets compared to most other animals. caffeine and chocolate are completely toxic to most animals but we can eat it without even feeling sick. even avocados are severely toxic to many animals to the point where it can be fatal to eat, but humans love it!!!

we are ALSO the best endurance runners ON EARTH out of ANY other species. we beat horses in endurance running. you know, the animals that gradually evolved away most of their toes in order to be the best runners?? yeahhh.

and to top it all off. our lifespan is unusually long for our species' weight/mass. typically, the bigger a species is, the longer its average lifespan (e.g. weasels live for 1-2 years, whales can live over 200) but we're very small for how long our average lifespan is. big cats like tigers live around 14-15 years, brown bears 25 years, yet here we are expected to live around 75-85 years. that is NUTS.

humans as a species are so extremely cool. it's not just our intellect that makes us amazing. we may not be the fastest or the strongest in the animal kingdom but we're super cool in many other ways. next time you sweat you can go wow!!! humans are so cool I'm able to keep moving because of my absolutely insane number of sweat glands! thank you evolution!

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Two people were talking and one went, "That's a funky dead guy on your necklace," to which the other replies, "That's Jesus Christ."

[sorin-sunchild]

I know I shouldn't let it but "when you die you'll be buried as your birth gender!" really bothers me. Even though I'll be dead so it's not like I'll know.

It bothers me because it's real.

It happens all the time.

And it leaves a grief like no other.

Cutting the hair of a dead girl because you never had a daughter no matter how well she lived, forcing her to be buried under a name she didn't use, memorial photos too old to show anything accurate. Not for her. Not to remember her. Not to honour her. To make you feel better. Because you 'fixed' her. You 'got back your son'. Selfish.

He lived his life as a man, he lived a good life and was a good man. You bury him in a dress. You use a picture of a little girl who exists only in your memories. You value that memory over him. His friends have no idea who the girl you're talking about is. You do it for yourself. One last act of disrespect.

To all the daughters buried as sons. To all the sons buried as daughters. I hope you found peace and that peace was your true self no matter how you were buried. I hope you are respected in the memories of at least one friend, one scattering of posts on a website, a discussion on the lips of outraged queers, a fire of supportive outrage.

[demapatto-art]

the talk