#( crack? )

[flamingpudding]

Little Snippets #1

"Father, please do not scare the children."

"FATHER?"

Alfred let out a sigh at the children's reaction as well as his own fathers sheepish laugh as the man scratched the back of his head. Once more he couldn't help but marvel at how young his own father looked. But then again the fact that his father was by now a timeless being and rule of an entire realm likely contributed to it. He glanced at the still shell shocked children and stoic Bruce, a part of him took a bit of pleasure in their shock.

"Master Bruce, may I introduce to you my father." Alfred hummed indicating to the floating man with blazing white hair and glowing green eyes in regal clothing, well aside from the damned jumpsuit his own mother had never refrained from complaining about.

"Daniel James Fenton." The butler continued eyes crinkling with a smile as he watched his charges. "Ruler of the Infinite Realms."

"Just Danny is fine. Honestly it must be your mothers influence with how formal you turned out Al..." The man, Danny added reaching a hand out to ruffle Alfred's hair that Alfred sidestepped. Not because he didn't like his fathers show of affection, no because he had appearance to uphold and he didn't need to shock the children any more than he already had.

"T-that must be a joke, right Alfie...?" Jason spoke up being the first one to regain his ability to speak coherently.

"I am afraid not Master Jason. This man is indeed my father." Alfred hummed amused, he would think that with their near daily dealings with villains, aliens, supernatural and other beings they would be less shocked. But as it seemed his family didn't seem able to warp their heads around this. Surely they must have suspected some sort of supernatural connection to him, after all how do they think he was able to keep the entire Manor as clean as it is? He had his pocketwatch from his grandfather as his secret weapon after all.

[ghoulysaphomet]

Tim: And this is my new girlfriend, Stephanie! I think you two would be great friends. I've been super excited to introduce you.

Jason's grave:

Stephanie, thinking: (hey um. wtf.)

[raileurta]

Miguel has a gen z style sense of humor and is low-key freaking everyone out.

--------------------------------------------------

Miguel watching a potato chip spinning: *hysterically laughing*

Miles: He's been watching that for 20 minutes now.

Gwen: Should we call a doctor????

Hobie: I think mate has finally lost it.

--------------------------------------------------

*arguing about whether you should put milk or cereal first*

Gwen: IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL TO PUT MILK FIRST IN MY UNIVERSE!!

Miles: WELL YOUR UNIVERSE IS WRONG!

Miguel: I use bleach. *Deadpan*

Walks away casually.

Gwen: ......

Miles: ......

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Miguel: Peter did you get me one of those turkey sandwiches from the cafeteria?

Peter: They were fresh out, sorry big guy.

Miguel: *sigh* This is my thirteen reason.

Peter: Your what?

Miguel: Lyla open window "do a flip" I'm killing myself.

Peter: WAIT MIG-!!!

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[ryoalouette]

Out of curiosity, has there ever been a DP x DC of this premise:

Of which anonymous online forum/chatgroup or villains. Just. Complaining about this one vigilante/hero that's their rival/archnemesis/etc and like.

Vlad and Slade commiserating about this one vigilante kid they would like to make son/apprentice.

[useless-moss]

Hiccup: Respect is something earned, not freely given, and I have no reason to respect a man with an ego bigger than his dick.

Viggo(in tears): THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID I WANTED YOU TO HURT ME-!

[youchangedmedestiel]

This gif is funny to me because Cas winks at Dean (for the first time I think, well probably Endverse!Cas did too, but it's not the same), and Dean's reaction here is priceless.

Imagine. Just imagine and ignore what Cas says here. What could be going on in Dean's mind based on the faces he makes? Here's an idea:

"Shit, he winks now. Yep, it's the end for me." And then off camera it keeps going, Dean can't stop thinking about it, "I can't resist him if he winks at me like that. Fuck. No no, no fuck. Arghhh. Please send help. Sam is there. Think about something else. Anything. Yes, that's better. No, don't look at him. Shit! He is a dork and so fucking cute and hot, all of that at the same time. How is that even possible? Oh, I'm so gone for him. Cas, please stop. But keep going, I need more."

[catcas22]

Between the Shrine Maiden village, the apparent malleability of Numen flesh, the fact that the only other Numen we hear about (the Black Knives) are entirely female, the existence of Millicent and her sisters as well as Melina...

I'm half convinced that Numen are a mono-gender species that reproduces through something along the lines of soul mitosis.

[cilil]

My latest crack idea/theory that I'm honestly kinda beginning to dig is that Eärwen being referred to as Swan-maiden may be taken quite literally and the true reason why we don't really her from her mother is because she's a Maia (or other Ainu-adjacent spirit) who serves Manwë and/or Ulmo, regularly takes the shape of a swan and flies/swims away for a time, like the selkie wives from legend. Except that Olwë didn't steal her skin. He sat on the nest like a good cob - I mean watched the kids like a good husband

[astr0star5]

“𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐓𝐎 𝐀 𝐖𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. ”

taiga hoshibsmi x yumeko jabami!mc

warning!: swearing, gambling, mc is werid as fuck.

I feel like overall so far before the sinstora chapter you didn't even know that you could gamble here. So you were pretty stotic and NPC-ish. But boy the minute you learn that you could gamble here your interested is piqued. You either ask Kaito to bring you down there yourself or after the first day of working with Ritsu, and he's leaving because "the business day is over". You instantly make a 360 and go straight to the casino.

You know how people were surrounding Taiga thinking he cheated because he kept on winning every game, same thing but this time it's you. You're undefeated and honestly it's getting quite boring.

Untill Taiga one day strolls in, he's bored looking for a good gamble but currently everyone was surrounding a table. As he aproches the crowd he hears angry yelling, "This shit is rigged no fucking way man!" "You've gotta be cheating, there's no way your still undefeated!" Honestly you were about tired of this, your 10th loser opponent just got up from the seat. They weren't worthy of your time, you were about ready to go home when Taiga shoved through the crowd and sat in the empty chair across from you. Smirk on his face.

Your demenar automatically changes as he lowers himself into the seat. You know Taiga's reputation you knows he's a good gambler. You bite your bottom lip (now this some real kakeguri shit), your practically itching for this. The opponent you've been waiting for! The exciment floods your body, you can't help but crack a smile and blush a bit. Honestly that shit freaked Taiga out a bit, under his breathe you could hear him calling you a werid bitch.

You manage to contain your inner 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂. As the dealer tells the rules to both of you. The match was a simple game you suggested from your old school, vote rock-paper scissors. Taiga has never heard of it but was open to try.

The game is simple first, there is a voting phase, where everyone will draw rock, paper or scissors on cards and place them in a closed box so that the players cannot see it; then, the two players take three cards from that box and choose which one to play against the other.

Just like regular rock paper scissors if you draw the same card 3 times it's a draw, the rules still apply, rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper. and paper beats rock.

Once you guys were handed the chips Taiga only bet a mere half of his chips but you, you bet your whole stack. The whole casino fell quiet trying to comprehend what you just did? Everyone was thinking the same thing which was "This girl is insane!?" You heard mutters in the crowd.

Once you both took your three cards you both drew on the count of three. Rock to Scissors. Taigas face was unreadable as a grin grew on your face. Then you guys drew once more Paper to Scissors. The atmosphere felt thick, you felt like you were about to burst you were practically squirming in your seat.

You know if you lose this round you lose what you bet, which was practically 10 million yen. This one round settles everything. One more draw to see who wins just one more.

Scissors to Rock. You had lost. A blush took over your face as you sighed out. You opened up your bag at threw out 10 million yet right at him. Taiga not liking the disrespect but liking the money in his hands grinned. "Dealer, give me more chips let's play another round." You said, as you stared right into taigas eyes you e/c eyes had turned red as you stared at him grinning. His golden eyes stared right back into yours.

It was as if there was this aura surrounding you both, It was honestly scary. As both of those powerful auras were about to clash.

a/n: thanks for reading, i feel corny for writing this, but this could be a good dynamic if someone with more brain wrote it!

[contentloadingandstuff]

Lisa x Male!Reader Oneshot - Library Duty

CW: Male!Reader, not proofread. Just a silly and short fic.

“Tale of Winter, Tales of Winter, Tales of Winter…” You guide your finger along the bookshelf. “Oh! Here you are.”

You pull the dusty volume out, and give it a few rubs with the back of your hand. The cover is plain, only the three words written in golden font standing out from the washed-out green background. 

You turn away and walk towards the stairs back to the top floor of the library. You jog up the steps, and you see two familiar figures behind the receptionist’s desk. Lumine and Paimon are writing something on the machine Lisa, now seated in the background and sipping tea ordered a while ago. They seem to be too absorbed to notice you standing in front of them. They look up at you simultaneously, and Paimon clears her throat.

“Hello, sir! Are you here to borrow, or return?” Her voice is just as squeaky as always. 

“To borrow, specifically - to borrow this book.” You place the tome on the desk, looking over to Lisa. She sends you a wink.

Her mischievous smile is just begging you to do something amusing. Just as always. Hm, why not humor her a little?

“Do you have a library card here, sir?” Lumine asks.

“Hm? Oh, I don’t. But you got me interested… What are the benefits of having one?”

“You can borrow books for longer, and you have early access to new publications. Also, you automatically join Miss Lisa’s book club, and you can attend its gatherings on Saturdays at 7 PM.” The floating fairy almost sounds like a salesman. You smile. 

“Then I would like to make one, please.”

“Alright… May I have some identification?” Lumine looks up at you.

You pat your pockets for a moment, before sighing theatrically. 

“Sorry… I left it at home. Can I just tell you all you need to know from memory?”

“I suppose that can work, sir.” Lumine pulls out a fresh piece of paper, and hands it to Paimon. The creature pulls out a jet feather from the inkwell, and places it against the paper.

“Your name and surname, mister?”

“Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz.”

Both of them stop and look up at you in surprise.

“Brzęczyszczykiewicz.” You repeat, barely containing a laugh. “Grzegorz.”

Paimon’s mouth hangs slightly open, but she shakes her head and focuses again. 

“Hm. I see.”

She puts the quill on the paper, clearing her throat.

“Gsh… gshe… psh… pshe… be… bshe…” Her small face turns and twists, steam nearly coming out from her ears due to how fast her brain cogs are working.

“Brzęczyszczykiewicz.” Lisa is covering her mouth with her gloved hand, her body tense from how hard she tries to keep quiet.

“Agh! Traveler!” She throws the feather on the table and crumbles up the paper. “I, um, I mean. Traveler?” 

She turns to her companion.

“Can you write it on the typewriter, please? I’ll go and put those books back!” She motions to the bin of returns, and before Lumine can protest, the floating lavender melon is already gone.

Lumine sighs and rubs her forehead. She types a few words on the sheet before she shyly asks:

“Your name and surname, sir?”

“Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz.” You say it with pride and confidence.

“Grzh… How??”

“Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz.”

Lumine is sweating visibly. “Can you… Can you spell it out sir?”

“Sure thing. G-r-z-e-g-o-r-z B-r-z-ę-c-z-y-s-z-c-z-y-k-i-e-w-i-c-z.”

Muttering to herself, she punches in a very rough version of the word. When she finishes, a bright smile of satisfaction creeps up on her face. The girl looks up at you again.

“Where were you born, sir?”

“Chrząszczyżewoszyce, powiat Łękołody.”

Lumine’s arms fall limp, and her expression turns to one of defeat. She hides her face in her hands. All of a sudden, Lisa bursts into laughter. You join in with a chuckle, and Lumine looks up at you two in pure confusion.

Lisa gets up from her chair. She walks towards the desk, and bends over it. “Don’t worry cutie, we were just messing with you, right Y/N?”

“That’s right.” You lean closer to her, your noses just millimeters away from each other. “Y/N… I like how it sounds coming from your lips.”

Lisa smiles seductively, and moves her hand to gently lift up your chin. “Y/N. Y/N. Y/N. You like hearing that, don’t you, my dear?”’

“Mhm.” You look each other deep in the eyes.

Lumine, her face now beet-red, fakes a cough.

“Um… do you… still want that library card, sir?”

Thanks for reading!

[lucaaazd]

Saw a poster for Cuckoo td and was like … wait a second

Is it just me or would Hunter Schafer be insane as Annie Leonhart

(Realistically she’s like super tall lol and Annie’s rly short but like … those VIBES man …)

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Yall Danny pretends to be a dead mermaid just to fuck with people who don’t know anything about ghosts

People seeing his ghostly trail and calling it a tail. Maybe some dudebroblondechick asks “so do we all loose our legs when we die?” And hes just shocked for a moment before realising the gold he has struck. “I am a dead mermaid whos tail was stuck in trash floating the in ocean.” Maybe hes really acting it up “I couldnt escape and died” as he wipes a nonexistent tear.

Well enough people have asked about it that it’s a whole thing on the web. People claiming no hes not a mermaid look heres a photo with legs and then people saying that the leg photos are doctored by the government to hide the mermaids from the public. The mermaids we are clearly at war with because why else would our government keep letting us pollute like this. It’s clearly a war tactic to basically enlist people without having them know but having them consume so much plastics.

The attempt to remove plastic straws? Clearly a cry for help from the mermaids reaching out to humanity on California duh.

Sam loves it because now more people are becoming aware of their own part in polluting the world. But she also hates it because most of the crap going around is borderline flat earth esk theories. “Why did it take the illusion of having a big naturals mermaid bf to get people to start cleaning up the oceans”

Anyway long story short the most popular theory is that Phantom has both legs and a tail and is actually a catboy alien ghost cover up.

[hazelnutsummer]

Young fae Grian who is out and about randomly encounters human Scar and decides to mess with him.

Scar, who prefers to be called his nickname, is insane polite and funny, almost immediately catches on Grian’s antics. After a while, Scar invites Grian to his house as a guest, and Grian agrees to be polite.

At the house, Scar shows Grian around, makes him tea, and they have a great time. As the night rises, Grian tries to excuse himself and say that he mustn’t stay out too long.

Scar, being the lovely homeowner, offers for Grian to stay the night here. Grian on the other hand, curses under his breath because surprise, fae rules says that you cannot refuse an offer from good heart BECAUSE ITS IMPOLITE.

Scar is delighted to have company, and Grian is frustrated because his brother (Jimmy) and sister (Pearl) are going to laugh at him so bad for being trapped in a human’s house, much less a human who have no idea what the fae rules are.

Throughout dinner, Grian asks multiple times in different ways to be let free, including:

“Scar, I very much appreciate this meal here, yet it must be time for me to go. I cannot trouble you any further.”

“Oh G, it’s no troubles at all! Feel free to have more soup, because I sure know these are bangers to eat on a cold night!”

Or

“Scar, the night is high, I promise can find my way home and my family must be worried sick!”

“Ooh nonsense! It’s practically the void out there! It’s not safe for you to go home this late, plus, I have an extra bedroom you could use, don’t worry!”

So now Grian is stuck here, a cup of hot chocolate in hand as he eyes suspiciously at Scar, who is happily fluffing out his extra blankets and pillows for his new buddy.

Spoilers: he is stuck here until he tells Scar that he must specifically allow him to exit before he goes. Scar immediately narrows his eyes and asks him what happens if he doesn’t agree.

The result is Grian be stuck there for a few more days than he originally planned, but Scar does get a good friend out of this whole ordeal so it’s a win for him.

:) and they were roomies

[dropletsofmuses]

“I need a Rockman~!”

“I'm holding out for a Rooockman 'til the end of the niiight!”

“He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight!”

“I need a Rockman~!!”

[useless-moss]

I like to imagine Hiccup either doesn't have a gag reflex at all, or has the worst gag reflex possible. No in between, and the vibes of the situation are what determines it.

[xenolinn]

Me, 4 episodes into Deviser: