#( but tbh the team has been so great about all of it with shutting the site down and trying to suppress the attack )

[filmdesque]

( apparently ao3 is the target of a ddos attack atm-- )

[redbullgirly]

Million Dollar Man [LS18 smau]

Lance Stroll x reader [social media au]

Masterlist

Summary: Lance's girlfriend isn't afraid to show how much her boyfriend loves and spoils her. Unfortunately, "fans" seem to think she's a gold digger. But who would Lance and Y/N bee if they just let it slide?

Warnings: A lot of hate towards the reader by online trolls and just toxic fans, at the end she and Lance shuts them up but if you're not in the right head-space to read this, then please don't.

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lance_stroll, fernandoalo_oficial, astonmartin and 192,344 others

tagged: astonmartin and lance_stroll

yourusername life lately... how about you? 🍰💐

view all 3209 comments

user1 more like: life lately 💸💸💸

user2 LOL

lance_stroll life lately has been great ❤️

liked by the author

user3 Lance don't worry we're going to save you!!

user4 our guy is lyinggggg i can feel it

user5 Oh my god let them live a happy life you trolls🤦‍♀️

user6 how can you know it's happy when she clearly uses him for money?🤨

user5 And how can you know it's not? Besides I don't think she uses him for anything🤷‍♀️

user4 then your just as naive as him user5 lol

user7 she's so classy a love it!😻

user8 Can she even drive or she just wanted to take a photo in his car?

fernandoalo_oficial You are slaying Queen!😉

fernandoalo_oficial Did I do it correctly yourusername?

yourusername it's great nando, just please never use that emoji again and you'll be ready do graduate from my gen-z university!

fernandoalo_oficial Damn it I knew all you use these days is this one: 💀

yourusername 💀

user9 OKAY I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ABOUT HER AND LANCE CAUSE I LOVE Y/N AND NANDO INTERACTIONS MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE!!

user10 i'm convinced she holds both aston drivers hostage in her basement and is forcing them to comment on her posts

user11 It's probably not even her own basement but Lance's😭

user12 nah she ain't even that pretty

user13 omg no way this post is the way I found out lance mf stroll has a girlfriend?🤠

user14 GIRL you have so much lore to catch up on

user15 Yeah welcome to the worst wag ever fandom xd

user13 wait I'm so confused... why do we hate her???

user14 bc she's basically a gold digger, like from the moment her and lance started dating she's been posting only about shopping and showing off herself and her bf's money

user12 plus she ugly af

user15 Yeah and there are rumors on twitter about her being really mean to everyone and that the whole paddock hates her and stuff...

user13 okay I get that but tbh we can't believe everything that's on f1 twitter

user14 idc she's a bitch even without the rumors

user15 I can tell Y/N is trying so hard to have the rich girly aesthetic... it's actually embarrassing😂

astonmartin Wow you have a great car right there😍

user16 more like her sugar daddy lance has it lol XD

user17 guys be fr if you had a rich boy you'd be spending his money too!!!

twitter

yourusername and lance_stroll posted on instagram stories

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by estabanocon, lance_stroll, astonmartinf1 and 206,948 others

tagged: astonmartinf1 and lance_stroll

yourusername thank you spa for having me! what a race, congrats to my favourite driver lance_stroll on p9 & his teammate fernandoalo_oficial on p5! great team work, hope to see you on another grand prix in the future astonmartinf1 💚🏆

view all 4022 comments

astonmartinf1 we hope to see you on another grand prix as well Y/N!🤩

liked by the author

user1 you don't have to lie admin, it's waste of money on her... better give the paddock pass to someone else

astonmartinf1 well, we definitely won't give it to you user1, so no need to worry about it 😙

user2 daaaamn, the admin is coming for y'all haters

user3 Of course she had to wear the racing suit... c'mon that's so embarrassing🙄

user4 actually it's pretty normal, I'm pretty sure Max's gf also wore his racing suit at some point

user3 Yeah but I at least like and respect Kelly... Y/N is a horrible gold digger

user4 well then I'm pretty sure it's your problem, not hers🤷‍♀️

user5 girl stop pretending you care about racing we all know you do it just for pr and cash xdd

user6 Honestly I'm not a Lance Stroll fan, but he deserves someone better than her...

lance_stroll Thank you to my favourite wag! 🥳❤️

yourusername love you baby!!!💞

user7 favourite wag😂 good joke😂😂

user8 am I the only one who finds their interaction cute??

user9 yeah you are user8... like just look at it, it's so forced... wouldn't be surprising if their whole relationship was fake

user10 You can hate on her all you want, but she's actually gorgeous in the third pic😻

user11 YUUUCCKK🤮🤮🤮

user12 you see I would be fine with this post if she didn't have to show off the aston martin car again!!!

user13 Hey did you notice she tagged Nando in the caption and he didn't reply to her? I call it ✨karma✨ lol

user14 maybe he escaped from her basement😭

user15 💚💚

user16 sorry but I can't help it. There's just something fishy about Y/N and I can't bring myself to like her at all

user17 Guys who is this girl and why does she get more hate in her comments than hailey bieber??💀

user18 I hate how she makes the whole Grand Prix about herself

user19 no but fr... like honey, idc about you and your favourite driveeer

user20 Tf?? She literally called LANCE her favourite driver how is that about her... you haters are so dumb🤦‍♀️

user21 I bet she read the comments on twitter about how she's bad gf for not going to any races and decided to fix her image by this XD

user19 lmfao didn't probably work the way she hoped

messages between Y/N and Lance

lance_stroll posted on instagram

liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel, f1 and 330,219 others

tagged: yourusername

lance_stroll As some of you now, I am not very active on social media. Today I'm making an exception for Y/N, my lovely girlfriend I've been dating for almost a year now. She is one of the greatest, most kind, caring and selfless people I know. I don't know where the idea of our relationship being unhappy, one-sided or even insincere came from, but I would like to make it very clear once and for all that these assumptions are as far from the truth as they can be.

In my life, I experienced a lot of hateful comments and reactions myself. It is not something I wish anyone should have to go through and it's disgusting. I love Y/N with all my heart and I hope that one day, she'll make me the happiest man alive and allows me to marry her, build a family together. No one will ever again speak about her in an inappropriate way, or they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them. I am very serious about this.

Y/N, I'm not afraid to call you the love of my life. I never want to see you cry because of some meaningless hater. Love you to the moon and back, sweetheart ❤️

view all 4823 comments

user1 It's just so heartbreaking how Lance himself had to go through so many waves of hate because of his dad and now he had to watch Y/N go through it too...😓

yourusername love you to the moon and back too lance!!!💖

lance_stroll Wouldn't have it any other way honey!😌

user2 you know it's serious when sebastianvettel shows up

astonmartinf1 once the it couple, always the it couple!💚 proud to say we were never a hater😘

user3 i still think it's fake

fernandoalo_oficial and I think you are fake🤪

user4 LMAO nando come and get the haters lets goooo

user5 That's how you shut them up xd

fernandoalo_oficial how do you children say it? I AM LANCEY/N DEFENDER

user4 yeah yeah nando exactly that or you can say your a lancey/n truther

liked by fernandoalo_oficial

user5 omg I can't believe I just had online conversation with THE Fernando Alonso😭

user4 GIRL ME TOO AND HE EVEN LIKED MY COMMENT😭😭

f1 What a beautiful couple you are!🙌 Hope to see you in the paddock after summer break!😏

user6 "they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them" daaammmnn man is standing on business here

user7 Tbh I never understood why y'all hated on her sm she's literally so beautiful and seems kind as well🤷‍♀️

lilymhe pretty giiiirl

lance_stroll I couldn't agree more!❤️

yourusername oh stop you two I'm blushing

user8 Can we take a moment to appreciate how beautifully the caption is written?🥹 Lance really has some poetic talent!

liked by yourusername

user9 aaah she's still a gold digger and he's too blind to see it😂

user10 Yeah she probably charmed him in bed or sm

user11 Ohh user9 and user10... I wonder how it feels to know Lance and probably some other drivers hate you🫢

chloestroll My brother and my future sister-in-law!🥰

liked by the author and yourusername

yourusername 🥰🥰

user12 im actually so happy to see y/n replying to some of the comments and just being active without so much hate on her now!!!

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lance_stroll, kellypiquet, fernandoalo_oficial and 299,102 others

tagged: lance_stroll and dior

yourusername they say if he wanted to he would... I say he wants to so he does 🌹❤️

comments have been limited

lilymhe she ate you jealous people up with that caption

liked by lance_stroll and fernandoalo_oficial

lilymhe also alex_albon me when??

dior Wow!❤️‍🔥

lance_stroll That's what real men do instead of trolling others on the internet.

yourusername daaammn baby

lance_stroll What? I'm just stating facts 😌

kellypiquet shopping trip to Paris when?😍

yourusername anytime you want!!!💕

astonmartinf1 So lucky to (basically) have you on our team💚

fernandoalo_oficial I call that a slay admin

astonmartinf1 ...should I tell him slay is kinda out dated??

yourusername aaah let him have his moment

fernandoalo_oficial WHAT?! YOU TRAITORS I THOUGH I WAS GEN-Z APPROVED

yourusername 🫢

THE END

Author's note: I hope you liked my first ever social media au story! I'll be glad for every feedback, comment, like, reblog and everything! You can definitely send me asks and requests for another smau's and even 'normal' fanfictions. Have a great day!

[lokideservesahug]

Perfect pair

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-Pairings: Lewis Hamilton x famous!actress!Reader

Warnings: Maybe a swear word or two, idk. There is loads of mentions of dogs so Im sorry if you're allergic :(.

Notes: I saw a tik tok (by the user ayloparis) about celebrities seen on raya, the celeb dating app. And Lewis was just there (middle photo above)!?!? And it stuck in my mind (also Ben Hardy was there aswell, how random).

Summary: When you moved to Monaco, the last thing you expected was your greatest fan and a fan of a race car driver to almost force you to go on a date with said F1 driver. But when you find that same man on a dating app, it doesn't hurt that talk to him; especially because he's so gorgeous.

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

Yourusername: Great awards weekend with an even better ending of going home to my best friend🤍

Liked by hamm4rtim4, thelomlyn and 3,987,091 others

View all comments

User1: Girls be saying the most heartfelt, sweetest things ever about someone and that someone ends up being their dog...

↳Yourusername: 😮It's me! I'm girls!

↳User2: Dont blame you tbh. I also love your dog Y/N

User3: One of these days, She'll post a soft launch (it'll never happen)

↳User4: Nothing can ever get rid of her baby from her posts!

Thelomlyn: Y/NNNNNNNN?

↳ Yourusername: You're back!!

↳ Thelomlyn: You know it. Also its probably a stretch but you know you said that you'd trust me with almost anything?

↳ Yourusername: OH no... But yeah?

↳ Thelomly/n: Well a friend of mine (hamm4rtim4) and I think we've found the perfect guy for you

↳ Yourusername: Oh... I'm intrigued. Who do you think this guy perfect for me is then?

↳ Hamm4rtim4: Sir Lewis Hamilton

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

📍Circuit de Monaco, Monte Carlo

Yourusername: What a great weekend! El made a new friend @roscoelovescoco. And well done to his dad @lewishamilton for managing to get the win, it was an amazing race. 🤍

Liked by Lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco and 3,678,905 others

View all 6,876 comments

Roscoelovescoco: It's was lovely's to see's you's!

↳ Yourusername: And it was lovely to see you. Although I think El misses you already. She looks devastated without you!

↳ Roscoelovescoco: Well's we've God's to see's you's soon then!

↳ Yourusername: I wouldn't have it any other way🤍

↳User1: Awww that's so adorable

↳User 2: Lewis x Y/N and Roscoe x El. It's meant to be!!!

Lewishamilton: Thank you for your support (and for dogsitting Roscoe).

↳ Yourusername: Any time. And like I said we'll done, you did truly brilliantly this weekend 🤍

↳ Lewishamilton: ❤

↳User3: And so we're meant to believe that they aren't dating!?!?!?!?

↳User4: Ikr. They make such a good (and attractive pair)

Liked by Lewishamilton

User5: Idk why they hid it. Because if I was dating acadamy award winning actress Y/N Y/L/N, I'd never shut up about it.

Liked by Lewishamilton

↳User6: LEWIS LIKING OMD. That has to be a PR concern? RIGHT!??!?!

Mercedesamgf1: Thank you for all of your support this weekend, glad to see you found the right team to support first time. 🖤

↳ Yourusername: It wasn't difficult when you have a certain Hamilton to convince me!

↳ Mercedesamgf1: 🤨

↳ Yourusername: Yeah Roscoe is the best person in the sport!!!

↳User7: Even admin is suspicious lmao

↳User8: She thinks she's so sly...

User9: I'm just saying if they get together, then their dogs can live together and they can all live happily ever after.

Liked by Lewishamilton, yourusername

User10: Lewis likeing all of the comments about him and Y/N is so unserious yet kinda sweet.

↳User11: Like yeah he wants to show her off and let their dogs have kids as they grow old together (they aren't 100% dating)

↳User12: Awww them growing old together with their little bulldogs is adorable

Liked by yourusername

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Lewishamilton

Lewishamilton: Thank you everyone for helping me to get in that top step once again. Its been really tough the past few years but by putting lots of time and effort in it clearly payed off.

Thank you to all the mechanics for your endless work. Thank you to Toto for putting up with my constant feedback, thank you George for helping defend and let me keep that top position today. And most importantly, thank you to my 'personal cheerleader' Y/N. Who has helped to support me, bring me joy and just be a beacon of hope throughout the turbulent season start. I love you ❤

Liked by Yourusername, Mercedesamgf1 and 5,897,098 others

View all 57,764 comments

Yourusername: Love you Lew. You're amazing🤍

↳ Lewishamilton: ❤

↳User1: Awww they've been hiding in plain sight (everyone knew)

User2: Shut up that is adorable. And I love the Y/N effect. You can't have a photo dump without El

↳Yourusername: Why would you want to? Unless it has Roscoe in (I love that dog sm)

↳Roscoelovescoco: Awww's I's love's you's too's

Mercedesamgf1: Felling left out rn🥲

↳User3: I love you admin

↳User4: Well done admin

↳Yourusername: We love you admin

↳Mercedesamgf1: Aww thanks guys. Love you more!

User5: Whoever would have expected this!?!?!? Me. I did.

User6: Does this mean we'll get Lewis in a blockbuster film

↳ Yourusername: He can sing, he can dance... question is, can he act?🤔

User7: This is such a random pairing. I love it.

↳ Yourusername: You can thank @thelomlyn and @hamm4rtim4 for that

↳ Lewishamilton: Thank you you two

↳Thelomlyn: I think you just killed @hamm4rtim4. Oh my gosh. This is unreal.

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Thank you for reading! As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!

Also my inbox is open if you ever have a request!

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee

[sunsetkerr]

THE TRADE | s.kerr

summary: as your afl season ends, your contract is up- leaving you, the hottest player in the aflw, up for grabs.

pairing: aflw!reader x sam kerr

notes: part one here!

yourinstagram

liked by samanthakerr20, crowsaflw and 18,398 others yourinstagram our third flag, so proud to have spent the last five years with this team. ytfg 💪💪

view all comments

samanthakerr20 the only time I will accept you not wearing a west coast guernsey is now ❤️❤️ so proud, go the crows!! ↳ yourinstagram screenshotting this and sending it to west coast right now

crowsaflw we love you #1 ↳ yourinstagram ❤️

user no because im so happy

user they need to resign her ↳ user shes a free agent, meaning whoever bids the most is most likely where she will go ↳ user she can't leave the crows 💔

alannakennedy casually winning flags ↳ yourinstagram its a constant tbh

alexchidiac10 loving the hat in the second pic ↳ yourinstagram its sam's dads 💪 ↳ samanthakerr20 roger was robbed

aflwupdates

liked by user, caitlinfoord and 7,281 others aflwupdates BREAKING NEWS: Adelaide Crows star, Y/N L/N, is officially a free agent. After winning her 3rd flag with the southern club, L/N's contract has not been renewed and she is rumoured to be looking for a new club. It is unknown whether Adelaide is negotiating a new contract with their star forward.

view all comments

user im losing it, she can't leave ↳ user I wouldn't be surprised, she doesn't live in Adelaide so it might be easier to go to a club closer to home ↳ user where does she live? ↳ user y/n has a home in perth with her wife sam and their daughter, but flies between perth, adelaide and london (where sam and y/n also have a house) for sam's football

caitlinfoord sick pic though @yourinstagram ↳ yourinstagram ffs caitlin ↳ user caitlin can't resist putting her foot in it 😭 ↳ yourinstagram literally this is my life, come get your dog please @mackenziearnold @alannakennedy

yourinstagram

liked by samanthakerr20, maryfowlerrr and 26,387 others yourinstagram in the off season we party (tillies style)

view all comments

mackenziearnold matildas 🤝 the crows ↳ yourinstagram party animals

user SAM AND Y/N HAVE MATCHING TATTOOS??? ↳ samanthakerr20 disgusting really

user seeing the girls let their hair down is so refreshing

user y/n looks in no condition to have caitlin foord on her shoulders, that is one expensive woman y/n- don't drop her please ↳ yourinstagram if I did it wouldn't be an accident

matildas see you at training tomorrow morning ladies!! ↳ maryfowlerrr I can't go out.. I'm sick

samanthakerr20 you little rager, you look so good in that shirt ↳ yourinstagram its 100% off (a sam kerr exclusive discount) ↳ samanthakerr20 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

user we are all freaking out about her trade and she's out here getting off her face with her wife's team mates 😭😭

crowsaflw

liked by yourinstagram, samanthakerr20 and 9,290 others crowsaflw it is with great sorrow we announce the departure of our superstar y/n l/n. five long years with the best, she will be missed on and off the field. truly a force to be reckoned with ❤️ we will miss you, forever our #1.

samanthakerr20

liked by yourinstagram, amysayer_ and 739,298 others samanthakerr20 she's off to continue to do great things ❤️ proud.

view all comments

user its so weird seeing them all lovey and not all I hate you ↳ yourinstagram dont worry its weird for me too

crowsaflw our girl! ↳ user but like.. not anymore... ↳ user too soon

kyracooneyx my lord and saviour ↳ charlotte_grant all hail mrs l/n-kerr

samanthakerr20 realising this photo kinda makes it look like you're dead xx ↳ yourinstagram sometimes when im with you I wish I was xxxxxx

yourinstagram

liked by samanthakerr20, aflw and 18,388 others yourinstagram the new diggs

view all comments

user STOP ITS OPTUS, SHE'S GONE TO WA

user omg shes going to west coast or freo

optusstadium so happy to have you!

samanthakerr20 who says diggs? ↳ yourinstagram literally shut the fuck up

mackenziearnold physically cannot sit still right now ↳ yourinstagram right now or ever?

user y/n literally tell us, tell us right now

westcoastaflw

liked by samanathakerr20, yourinstagram and 11,938 others westcoastaflw welcoming our new #1!! @yourinstagram blue and gold looks very good on you, don't you agree @samanthakerr20?

view all comments

samanthakerr20 DAMNNNNNN 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

samanthakerr20 can finally watch one of your games without wanting to vomit looking at your guernsey 🤤🤤🤤🤤 ↳ yourinstagram 💙💛

user I cannot breathe

user sam got what she wanted 😭😭 ↳ yourinstagram she always does unfortunately

roxykerr20 thank goodness we didn't invest in any crows merchandise 😂 ↳ yourinstagram you never would roxy 😌 I did this solely for you and roger ↳ samanthakerr20 I'll just jump off a cliff then x love you babe

[munson-blurbs]

Oneforthemunny's Summertime Writing Game

Thank you @oneforthemunny for organizing such a fun writing game! This is one of two collabs with @corroded-hellfire; the other will be posted on her blog soon!

Eddie comes home to see you sunbathing…topless ;) Janitor!Eddie x Fem!Teacher!Reader

Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), oral (m! and f! receiving), cum eating, semi-public acts, kinda subby Eddie (more simp than sub tbh), reader wears a bikini (all bodies are bikini bodies and I will run up die on that hill)

WC: 1.7k

Summertime as a kid is great. Summertime as a teacher is complete, utter bliss.

You’re laying stomach-down on a beach chair in your backyard. There’s a glass of lemonade, ice melted from the sun, on the snack table beside you. The yard is slightly shaded by the overgrown oaks, but with your level of relaxation, you might as well be on a tropical island surrounded by palm trees with a frozen strawberry margarita in your hand. 

While you’re off until early September, your sweet husband isn’t so lucky. Custodial staff still has to report to work, albeit only for half a day, because of summer sports practices. Eddie had been grumbling something about setting up the goalposts for the boys’ soccer team, though you hadn’t heard his full complaint since you’d been half-asleep this morning.

It’s just past noon now, which means he’ll be home within the next ten minutes. You grasp at the swimsuit ties at the nape of your neck and around your upper back, loosening them and tossing your bikini top into the grass below. 

Eddie’s van rumbles into the driveway shortly after that, tires crunching over gravel. You shift your weight slightly so that your chest is pressed into the rubber straps of the chair, shielding your exposed nipples.

“Baby?” you call out once you hear his door slam shut. He walks over to the gate separating the front yard from the back and unlatches the hinge, closing it gently. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees you, sans top, splayed out before him.

You turn your head to face him, smiling as his eyes widen in surprise. “Can you put more sunscreen on my back?” you ask, voice sugary sweet. “I don’t wanna burn.”

“Um, yeah, sure.” He takes the bottle next to you–just the drugstore brand, but it gets the job done–and squeezes a dollop of lotion into his calloused palm. You press your legs together, making room for him to straddle your body with one thigh on either side of yours, groin nudged close against the curve of your ass.

You can feel him getting hard through his coveralls, and he shifts slightly to try and adjust himself without smearing lotion on his work clothes. He grumbles a muted “fuck,” under his breath, assuming you can’t hear him.

“Eds? You okay?”

He clears his throat, embarrassment creeping into his voice at being caught. It seems absurd that he’s still so modest about getting turned on when he thinks he’s not supposed to, and you have to bite back a giggle. 

“Mhm. Just makin’ sure it’s even and…stuff.” 

Once you hear him close the cap on the lotion bottle, filled with chagrin as his hands leave the canvas of your skin, you flip onto your back and give him the perfect view of your bare breasts.

Eddie’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows thickly. “You want me to p-put some there, too?” he stammers, starting to reach for the sun lotion again.

“Mmmm, no.” You grab him by the collar of his coveralls and pull him in for a kiss, parting his lips with your tongue as his body practically collapses on top of yours. 

He braces his palms on the edge of the chair. “Baby, baby, baby, what’re you doing?” He’s breathless as you roll your hips up towards him, creating the delicious friction that you both crave.

You give him a playful pout, jutting out your lower lip. “Am I being too subtle?” Eddie’s eyes follow your hands as they make their way down to your swimsuit bottoms and his jaw goes slack as you shimmy out of them. “Are my intentions clearer now?” 

A sound resembling a growl sounds from deep in his chest as he practically tears the zipper off of his coveralls as he struggles to get them off. Giggles spill out of your lips as you watch him finally toss the offending material in the same general direction as your swim top. He’s left above you in only his undershirt and boxers.

“Be a good boy and take that off for me, hm?” you purr. Eddie feels a shiver go down his spine at your words and he quickly nods his head.

“Yes, ma’am.”

The white t-shirt and blue boxers soon go the same way as the coveralls and your husband’s body is hovering over yours. 

“That’s my good boy,” you praise him.

Eddie scoots down a bit, lips pressing against the skin of your neck, then your chest and stomach. 

“Can I taste you? Please?” he mumbles into the skin just above your belly button. 

“Of course.”

There’s no hesitation between your response and Eddie lifting your legs over his shoulders and licking a stripe up your heat. Your hands grip the sides of the lounge chair as your back arches. Eddie knows your body like the back of his hand and how to make you squirm right away. 

You’re pretty sure your lip is going to bleed from how hard you’re biting down on it as Eddie sucks your clit into his mouth. Large, calloused hands run up the outside of your thighs and rest on your lower stomach. You can feel more than hear the soft moans coming from your husband as his tongue moves down to prod at your hole.

“Shit,” you murmur under your breath. The sounds coming from between your legs are obscene but only make it even hotter. 

Eddie lets one of his hands come back down your body and he slips two of his fingers inside of you. The movement of his digits pumping in and out of you starts off slow at first, then picks up speed. It’s impossible to keep your moans to yourself at this point, just trying to keep quiet enough that any neighbors that are potentially outside won’t hear. 

“Close. Fuck, I’m close.”

The feeling of his tongue flicking over your clit joining the motion of his fingers has your muscles tensing, your legs tightening around his head as you feel your pleasure hitting its peak. One hand reaches down and tangles in Eddie’s curls, fist tightening and giving a small tug on the roots. 

“Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,” tumbles out of your mouth as the wave crashes over you, causing you to clench around Eddie’s fingers. He doesn’t slow down, just keeps working you through it with both his hand and mouth. 

Once your body relaxes back against the chair, Eddie pulls his fingers out and pops them into his mouth. His eyes close as he savors the taste of you on them. When his eyes open, it’s just in time for you to pounce on him. 

“You’ve had a hard day, baby,” you coo, wrapping your hand around his hardened length. Pre-cum pearls at the tip, dripping onto the flesh between your thumb and forefinger. “Let me take care of you, hm?”

Eddie just nods and whimpers, throwing his head back as you sink onto your knees in the freshly-cut grass and give him teasing kitten licks. 

“‘S that enough?” Of course it’s not; you know it’s not, but you love keeping him on edge.

“M-More. Please, need more,” he stammers out, legs quivering slightly. His quads flex as he tries to steady himself.

You indulge him, taking him fully between your lips. You swirl your tongue around his achingly sensitive tip, sucking sloppily. Drool runs down your chin but you make no attempt to wipe it away. He loves the way you so easily wreck yourself on his cock. 

“Feels s’good,” he groans, going weak in the knees when your hand attends to the part of his shaft not in your mouth. “Oh, fuck, that’s it. My beautiful girl.” His whines are loud, too loud considering the proximity to the nosy couple next door. They’re supposed to be at work now, but you never know who could be listening. 

“Shh, gotta keep it down,” you remind him, and he lets out another strangled whimper at the loss of your warm mouth. Pinching his inner thigh in retaliation, you say, “you want our neighbors to know that I’m sucking you off?”

Eddie shakes his head, curls rapidly brushing against his shoulders. “N-No.” Well, yes, he thinks, but he doesn’t dare admit it. 

You cup his balls, rolling them in your open palm while continuing to blow him, all too aware that you’re pulling the trigger. 

Sure enough, his throaty grunts punctuate the still summer afternoon. “Baby, mmm, fuck!” he manages through gritted teeth. You take him deeper, nose nestled in the unruly thatch of pubic hair adorning the base of his cock, doing everything you can to ward off your gag reflex.

“M s’close, shit, please let me cum on your tits,” he pleads, sounding as though he’s on the verge of tears. “Please, baby, I’ll do anything to cum on those perfect tits.”

You unceremoniously release him from your warm, wet mouth and jerk him a few times until he spills onto your chest. Thick white ropes of his spend now adorn your breasts as he stands there, breathless, his softening cock still in your hand. You take your pointer and middle fingers from your free hand and swipe at the cum, bringing them into your mouth and swallowing with a triumphant grin.  

You reach for your discarded swimsuit top, wincing when you try to fasten the ties. “Ouch,” you mutter, “feels like I did get a little burned on my back.”

Eddie’s eyes remain trained on your chest; specifically, the spot where you’d missed a bit of his cum just below your left nipple. He feels his cock start to twitch with the beginnings of another erection. “We have after-sun lotion in the house,” he finally says. “Get on the bed and I’ll give it to you.”

You throw him a wink, following his gaze to wipe off the cum before cheekily licking it from your finger.

“Oh, I bet you will, big boy.”

--

[inchidentally]

also like, as I always say I love the carland0 and dand0 content SO much like it got me into f1blr and I rewatch some of those every week to make me smile <3

but whenever Lando was with those guys - or tbh with any driver older than him - there's always this reverting to baby brother thing where he lets the older guy answer everything more seriously or in detail and then Lando just pipes in w something funny or cute or getting flustered and everyone being like oh that's classic Lando etc etc. and it's always great content lbr!

but him and Oscar being on that freakish wavelength together and automatically sharing responsibilities based on individual strength to do w knowledge/skill (and Lando's mood that day) means we actually get to see Lando's competence and knowledge way more than we used to. bc it's always been there as much as the other guys it's just the ~divergence~ brain making certain environments or certain pressures shutting parts of his brain (and literally do I relate to that).

and not to get too deep but it parallels the fact that when Oscar showed up and everyone was saying how he was Lando's rookie and his protégé etc it threw Lando for a while bc openly said he didn't feel comfortable being in that role to someone else/not having someone older and more experienced to lean on. which I think if Oscar had actually needed that himself it would've not worked at all well - fortunately Zak and Andrea both knew enough of Oscar to know that wouldn't be the case.

BUT !! Oscar knowing cough so much about Lando before joining McLaren meant that even though he rly never needed Lando to be in that guidance/leader role for him, he picked up on Lando genuinely wanting to try and like - that's where the wavelength was established. bc Oscar did put himself in the role of following what Lando chooses and learning Lando's preferences and behaviors which in turn ! fulfilled Lando wanting to do the team and himself proud and be there for Oscar as basically the existing face of McLaren and the popular driver who was able to win over fans and media to Oscar who were not only reluctant to like Oscar at the time, they were actively rooting for his downfall and reveling in McLaren's tough start to 2023. because Lando pushed for such solidarity and included Oscar so much in his social media back then, Oscar returned the favor by learning and copying from Lando how to engage w media and fans on the F1 level of scrutiny. and because Oscar went so unusually quiet and observant with Lando compared to Oscar with the guys in F3 and F2, Lando kept complimenting how "calm" Oscar was and how it was rubbing off on him.

like I know there's the rpf of it all but it's why I feel like we all latch on so hard with landoscar as it exists just in reality bc there's been the opposite of bromance and convenience for them that their dynamics w other drivers have had (similar personalities, interests, being invested in PR - or not, in Oscar's case) and they also didn't even have fans rooting for them to be friends or even be great teammates bc of Alpine drama and being bitter about Daniel AND add to the fact that Lando himself was resistant to the idea of being the older guy. yet despite having that uphill battle and their personalities in superficial/social ways being diametrically opposed, they're the teammates that are known for their freakish mind-reading/twinning and they naturally form to the same car requirements and preferences and after just one season together have the narrowest margins between them on track. and Lando was truly one foot out the door at points last season and while most of him being swayed was loyalty to McLaren, I think if Oscar had been just as competitive as he is BUT wasn't as perfectly matched for Lando as he is then... idk drivers have left teams that felt like 'home' for less reason than that !!

idk Lando twice catching himself referring to Oscar as if they've been teammates for years instead of barely even a season and a half and Oscar having this metamorphosis that's been visible on camera based on using Lando as his pole star for coping with the leap from F2 success->languishing at Alpine->F1 in a rollercoaster season for McLaren. to now watching them in all their content easily swapping duties with unspoken agreement and picking up the middle of each other's thoughts seamlessly (and Wired deciding to have both of them do it instead of just one like usual) and Lando looking to Oscar every time he forgets a word bc Oscar will have it for him immediately. they sit back together and enjoy watching every other team and driver go through chaos bc they've both committed to their team already and don't have to worry about all that for a good while.

sure a lot of us would prefer if they had the shared outside hobby to ensure hanging out even when they're one day no longer teammates but askgsajfglafg honestly for me that's a future concern that idc about !! there's something so we didn't just become teammates against the odds we became one of the best teammate pairings against the odds about them that's compelling in a sports/competition sense but also in the way they hold something fairly special between them as drivers - and undeniably at least in part as people - and them not choosing to advertise for fans when they travel together or hang out or have their own little debriefs and decompresses together - like them being so proud of their new privacy door to their drivers rooms and emphasizing how it's their own place to be private private and away from everyone (even Jon and Kim!) but it's so shared between them that Oscar still hears all of Lando's music

it's such a massive, conscious commitment to each other in a career that is basically most of their lives every year and it's just so !!!! all on it's own as it is for me <3<3

[cruesuffix]

Ok, as per my last ask I’ve been directed to a nice little site full of reports from groupies about rockstars (how good they are in bed…etc) so below I’ve screenshotted the ones about the crue…it’s kinda funny ngl

Warning: nsfw (be prepared!!)

this is just nasty LMAOO “the faces on money look younger than mick” EVIL!!! also nobody having any reports on mick…no one was fucking with that man fr. who’s willing to take one for the team and get the deets (me, it’s me old man pick me pls sir give me a chance!!!)

idek where to begin with this one. “has the build of eric cartman from south park” IM DYING!!! the groupies were NOT feeling vincent i fear. this is coming from someone who was fucked over by vince ROYALLY. they have some deep seeded hatred for this man and im kinda living for it.

didn’t even say anything, just started listing his accomplishments I can’t- I mean you don’t really need to say anything, we all know. (still would have loved a bit of commentary)

also not a lot of detail, but better than tommy tbh. between what’s been said about the other and then nikki…sounds like he’s logged into his secret acc to brag (jk…or am I??)

Bonus

we have izzy just cause vince caught another stray for no reason lmaoo like I said this person HATED his ass.

Finally, here’s a list of the Crüe members on how likely I would have slept with them if I was a groupie in the 80’s

1. Mick - because unlike these groupies, he would have been the only person I would have pursued. yes he’s still a man, but he would have been much more respectful than the rest of the guys

2. Nikki - might come as a surprise seeing as though I’ve been an avid nikki disliker on this blog but…how can I say no to a man that gives “great oral?” I would have just taped his mouth shut so I wouldn’t have to hear him talk, that’s all.

3. Tommy - like that person said, do I have to say anything? although, I’d probably have to knock back a couple of drinks to do it.

4. Vince - not because he has the shape of eric cartman (can’t believe they’d say that lmaoo) but because he has the EGO of eric cartman…and that’s even scarier.

Ok, that’s all…thanks for letting me yap a bit!

(btw if you want the link to this, it’s on sparkle-jump-broke-queen’s blog just scroll a bit!)

[l0v3tast3]

𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭 — john mactavish

♡ summary: as much as he loves to brag about how lovely his girlfriend is to the rest of the team (and anyone who will listen), john still has one secret that he keeps to himself.

♡ tags: fem!reader, succubus!reader, no plot just porn, size kink, shy reader, john tells simon about the sex with you (consensually), oral sex, creampie, fluff sprinkled in, not proofread ofc

♡ word count: 3,753 (the counter says it's 69 paragraphs hehe)

♡ author's note: i have no excuse for this. it is pure filth, but i think that's the usual for me tbh

lately, simon was starting to really get annoyed with john.

he could handle the man's constant need to shift his weight if he wasn't already pacing or moving freely, and he could handle when john would talk incessantly on their off-duty hours together. but now it was getting excessive.

john had upgraded from fidgety to antsy, which was much more irritating in simon's opinion. it wasn't yet a cause for concern of distraction on the job; john made sure to not cross that line, at least (he was still like that on missions, just internally).

the really annoying thing to simon about john's ramblings, both sober and drunken, was that they were all about you, his oh-so cute girlfriend. the team knew so much about you and had never even met you. they knew your favorite food, ice cream flavor, movie and tv show- they even knew your favorite nail polish color.

simon knew more than the others. he knew he should have left john passed out with his face pressed to the sticky bar surface for price or kyle to deal with, but he had probably had one too many, so he helped guide the man back to their hotel and their respective rooms. once simon had made sure john tumbled onto his bed safely, he just about darted out of john's room and into his own.

the reason being that the entire way back, john hadn't shut up about a moment he was particularly proud of with you. he had described it in great detail, as much as simon had tried to tell him to stop (half-heartedly, at most).

john told him about the time that he'd made you cum from just rubbing your nipples and kissing your neck. you were sitting in his lap with your back to his chest, stripped down to your panties. he made sure to mention how small you were against him, as always (it was obvious how much he loved it). he told simon about how he wrapped his arms - huge compared to your own - around you to trap you against him.

apparently, this had been towards the beginning of your relationship, and you were just so shy around him once he got you undressed (simon honestly wouldn't have guessed that that was john's type). it was slow-going trying to get you more and more bare for him, but it was worth it, in his words. so once he had you where he wanted you, finally, he just couldn't let you go.

he claimed he barely had to touch you to get you to start shaking, just running his hands over your sides and stomach and legs and just about wherever he could reach did the trick. you were so soft, according to him, so pliant under the press of his calloused hands. then he kissed the shell of your ear, then behind it, then down your neck and shoulder, and you were whining for him and rolling your head back against his shoulder.

and when he started pinching and tugging and rolling your nipples between his thumbs and pointer fingers, you were arching your back and clawing at his arms. you were just so sensitive, he had never met anyone like you.

simon was mentally begging john to stop at that point, but they still had a couple more blocks and an entire elevator ride up nine floors to go. of course, john started telling a new little anecdote, this time talking about how pretty the noises you make always are for him.

john just couldn't help it. he needed everyone to know how lucky he was that you both found each other. plus, there was a little part of him that liked seeing the jealous glint behind the eyes of his teammates, how they shifted in their seats a little to try to subtly make their pants less tight. it was always funny to him.

but despite how much he ran his mouth, there was one secret that he never told anyone, not even simon.

a week after the walk back to the hotel, john was jumping out of a taxi and running up to the door of your shared home. since the second he had walked out for his mission three weeks ago, he had been aching to see you, hug you, kiss you, be inside you. he always felt all that, though, even when you were together.

the door wasn't even fully closed behind him before his duffel bag was discarded on the floor and you were in his arms. he scooped you up, wrapped your legs around his waist and held you with one arm under your bottom and one around your back, snaking up to the back of your head to press you further into your shared kiss. it was desperate and hungry; you both stayed like that for awhile before he pulled away to get a good look at you.

that was a little hard to do now, though, because you wouldn't stop moving. grinding your hips into his, dipping your head to bite and kiss and lick at his face and neck and trying to get your hands under his jacket to feel more of him.

"hah- missed ya' too, bonnie," john whispered with a grin. he was already moving to the bedroom, a few more broad steps and he was laying you down underneath him. you frowned when he left more space between you two, still squirming to get closer to him.

he noticed something next to him, one of his coats, bundled on the bed, next to his shirt, his pants, more shirts; it looked like you had piled over half of his wardrobe around you on the bed before he came back. his pillows were the only ones left, as you'd thrown yours into a forgotten corner of the room.

john found you like this a lot after he'd been gone for more than a couple of weeks. you would make a nest out of anything that smelled like him still. one time (multiple times, you always denied it with red painting your face) he came home and found you desperately grinding against his pillow, practically in tears because it just wasn't enough, it wasn't him.

but now you had him, and he wasn't doing anything to you, despite your whines and pleas and your hands tugging clumsily at the zipper of his jacket. john just kneeled over you, taking in your pretty face. the curve of your nose, your puffy lips that begged so sweetly, your eyes that lit up so adorably whenever he came into view, john loved all of it, all of you, so damn much. he knew he'd never forget what you looked like, even if you were separated for years, he'd remember. but seeing you again after he came back was like finding an oasis in the sahara. he loved looking at you, tracing the patterns of your skin with his eyes, his fingers, his mouth.

your whines turned to giggles as he laid ticklish kisses over your cheeks and nose and eyes, keeping one hand beside you for support and bringing the other up to cup the side of your face and thread through the roots of your hair. his touch fed into you, warming you up again after you'd been cold for weeks.

john finally met your lips with his again, putting his weight on his knees that were parting your legs and using both hands to cup your face. if you hadn't been wearing only his shirt, he'd already be stripping you down, but the sight made his heart melt even more (it was already a puddle, pouring out of him and into you).

one of his hands moved to the base of your neck again while the other slid up to gently wrap around one of the little curved horns poking out of the top of your head and tugged. your body jerked with a sharp gasp and whimper.

"johnny, you're bein' mean," you grumbled, your hands making fists in his now-exposed t-shirt. he was wearing too many layers.

"i'm sorry, sweetheart," john claimed with a smile that said he definitely wasn't. "yer just so damn cute, yeah?" your flushed cheeks stained a shade deeper, and you tried to play it off by getting your hands under his shirt and pushing it up.

he finally conceded, leaning up to shrug off his jacket and pull his shirt over his head. you watched with wide eyes, wanting to feel every inch he revealed, kiss it all over and make him so happy and relaxed after his long time away. there were bruises and cuts littering him again. they were usually already closed up and fading by the time he got back, but you always frowned and traced your hands over them, wishing you had the power to magically heal him (john already felt pretty healed with you beneath him).

despite your wandering hands and your whispers to let you take care of him, he knew what you really wanted, really needed, because it was the same thing he did. you needed him to fuck his cum into you.

that was john's secret, along with your little dark red horns and the long, skinny tail that ended with a heart behind you. if he told his teammates that he had a succubus as a girlfriend, they'd call him into a mental institution on the spot.

you didn't drain him, though (not in any bad way at least); you made him feel so alive. he could hear his heart beating faster in his own head with each shared touch, could feel his blood run hot just from looking at you.

he bent over you again, this time to slowly start pushing his your shirt up from where it ended a few inches above your knees. you weren't even wearing panties; john groaned as he looked down between you at where you both wanted him most. he always planned to take his time, kiss his way down your body and give every bit of you so much attention, but he reasoned with himself that he would do that in your next round as he gave you a quick, firm kiss and shuffled down.

you were already soaked, your juices coating your inner thighs and running down to add to a wet spot that he was just now noticing had already been there.

"ohh, sweetheart, were ya touchin' yourself before i got home?" john teased, his shit-eating grin growing ever wider. he kneaded your doughy thighs, using big hands to hold you in place and work you up even more. you shook your head and whined out a "no", but he knew you were lying. your hips were already bucking up towards his face that was still inches away from your core.

"tha's alright, lass, as long as you were thinkin' of me." he shifted away then; your dazed confusion disappeared quickly when he tugged you easily down to the end of the bed so he could kneel. your legs were pushed up with his hands gripping the backs of your thighs, resting your ankles on his shoulders.

as soon as he flattened his tongue against your entrance you were arching your back, pressing your hips as far into him as he would let you. your sharp nails went up to dig into his forearms while he started lapping up all the juices leaking out of you with a moan.

it was almost too much, your nerves sparking all throughout your body from the sudden onslaught of your boyfriend being home, finally. you honestly didn't think he understood just how much you missed him while he was away; you were bound to him, after all, your souls intertwined, ever since your first time together.

john always thought you were just really shy, and you were (especially for a succubus, of all things), but it was also because you wanted to take things slow. you had explained it to him through stuttered words and a red face that basically, sleeping together for the first time would be like a contract between you both spiritually. something that couldn't be broken without someone dying. it wasn't that you didn't want to have sex with him (just being around him made your legs a little shaky), you needed him to understand the gravity of it all. and he did, and he still cupped your face and kissed you until you were sure he knew.

so maybe he did understand how much you missed him. with the way he was sucking on your puffy clit while gliding two thick fingers in and out of you, you began to think he felt the same ache, the same emptiness in him as you did while he was away.

you came fast, one hand clawing fresh marks all over the arm still gripping your thigh while your other dug into his grown-out hair (you loved the mohawk just as much, but you were always a little sad when he shaved the sides down again the day after he would get home). your tail, freed from under your back as it arched high, wrapped around the forearm of the fingers he had working into you. he slowed down a little to prolong your orgasm more, letting your legs down from their pressed position and smoothing his free hand across your stomach comfortingly. he didn't move his mouth away until your body started twitching and you were able to make noises again.

withdrawing his fingers, he made sure to lick you from your entrance to your clit one more time before he came back up to your face, smiling down at you again as he kissed you. it was slow and loving; john always made sure you felt so loved, even after he would fuck you until you lost consciousness (you were too stubborn to tap out, how could you when it always felt so good?).

when he pulled away he replaced his lips on your mouth with the fingers that had just been inside you, still wet. you closed your lips around them on instinct and john moaned again.

"everythin' about ya, sweetheart- steamin' jesus," he muttered, mostly to himself as he watched you suck his fingers clean.

you were already reaching down to fumble with his belt; you were so insatiable, so needy for him, and he adored it. john thanked god everyday for all of his endless training to finally be worth it, because thanks to it he had the stamina to keep up with you (and more).

john took pity on you and pulled his fingers out of your mouth and pulled back to undo his belt and pants. he was stripped down to nothing in no time, easily hoisting you back up towards the middle of the bed.

"told the guys about ya," he started, running his hands up your sides to drag your shirt up again. his thumbs glanced over your breasts to earn a whimper from you. "told simon 'bout the time i made ya cum from just this." the shirt was thrown to the side, added to the mess around you, and he gave your nipples quick pinches. you squeaked and grabbed onto his wrists, a breathy moan escaping while he continued. "remember that? you were such a skittish little thing back then, it was so much fun teasin' you- still is."

your face was painted cherry red (a sight john loved too much) as he told you what he had relayed to his friends. you had never met any of them, but he always told you about them and what they're like. meeting them was something you'd always wanted to do in passing, if only to learn more about the man hovering over you, but now you didn't think you'd be able to look them in the eyes.

as embarrassed as you were, john could feel the liquid gushing out of you onto his cock as he rubbed it against your pussy. "you like them knowing, don't ya sweetheart? knowin' how easy it is to make my pretty lass cum- should i invite them to come watch? you want them to watch me fuck you?"

you were about to shake your head "no", because how could you admit that just the thought of his teammates watching him use you like a toy made you almost cum? he cut off your half-hearted protest by pushing inside of you, bullying his big dick into you to the hilt in one go, and any semblance of thought you may have had was gone.

he stayed like that, hips pressed flat against yours, and started to grind down into you; you could feel the head of his cock pressing against your cervix. your mind went haywire, babbles of "mmh, john!" and "please, please, please!" slurring from your swollen lips.

"think you'd like that, bonnie, think you would a lot," he mumbled against your neck, switching between sucking and biting every bit of skin he could reach. one of his hands held your leg to your chest while the other was under your back, pressing it into an arch, his nails digging in.

he knew he was definitely right about that when you tightened down around him, your nails clawing down his back again. he grunted, pushing your hips deeper into the mattress with his own as he started fucking you slowly.

you were already such a mess, but he just couldn't stop himself. "maybe i'll just invite simon over first, yeah? know he wants to get his hands on ya, sweetheart, wouldn't ya like that?"

words wouldn't form in your mouth so you whined, trying to shake your head "no" again. as much as the idea turned you on more and more, you didn't want any of his friends, you wanted him. you hoped the hand gripping his hair and the other holding onto his shoulder got the message across (of course it did, he just knew you so well).

"mm- you're right, wouldn't ever share ya with them," he groaned, kissing his way up your jaw and then your lips again, using the hand on your back to cup your face and thread his fingers through your hair. "besides, i'm already enough for ya, right, sweetheart?"

he started thrusting faster while his hand inched up to your horns to tug again, and as soon as he did, you were cumming. your body went rigid, knuckles white with the grip you had on john. he kept his pace, his hips snapping almost harshly.

a choked sob was the first sound to leave your lips as you came back down from your high, and every part of your body tightened, trying to both run away and take more at the same time. greed won out quickly when john didn't let up, and soon you were arching up into him to feel as much of his skin as you could.

"needy little thing." he started kissing your neck again in between his words. "missed bein' able to fuck this cunt for hours. that's what you want, isn't it? c'mon, lass, use your words for me," he said; you could hear the smile in his voice, felt it against your shoulder.

all you could manage was to say "yes" and "please", the rest coming out as mumbles and high-pitched moans.

john sped up again, his thrusts getting uneven. through your haze you could tell he was getting close, and your pleas for him to fuck you turned into you begging him to cum inside you. he groaned loudly, one hand gripping your hair and the other snaking down to start rubbing your clit.

"want me to fill ya up? yeah, know ya do bonnie, know ya missed my cum in you, i did too, hah, so much-" the rush of him invading every sense of your body made you cum again, and then he was too, driving his hips so far into yours that it pushed you up the bed. the faint warmth spreading through your abdomen was enough to make you go completely limp underneath him.

john half-collapsed onto you, making sure to keep enough of his bodyweight off of you as to not crush you. it was quiet for a few moments, only you're soft whines and giggles and the sound of him pressing kisses all over your face audible.

a choked moan escaped him when you started grinding your hips up into his again; you had accepted long ago that he was right to call you "needy". his hand still gripping your hair tightened, and his other shot down to press you down and stop your movement.

"give me a minute, would ya lass?" he grunted, but you could already feel him getting hard inside you again.

hours later, when the little digital clock on john's bedside table read "03:11" in bold red numbers, he was still fucking you. your voice was shot and your bones had basically been liquified, and john's brain was incessantly telling him to just wrap you in his arms and go to sleep, but he kept fucking you in slow, languid thrusts that dragged against every nerve and reached so deep inside you.

"last one, sweetheart, promise," he mumbled against your cheek. you whimpered again. you were always ready, always wanting for more, but even a succubus has their limits.

he made sure you came one last time before he did (he truly believed it would be a crime not to), holding you against him and grunting against your lips.

as you both came down, pressing lazy kisses against each other, john rolled you both over so you were splayed across his chest while he laid on his back. sweat and cum and spit covered both of you but you were both already falling asleep, too spent and happy to care until you woke up.

before he let himself shut down for the next fourteen hours, john pressed a kiss against the top of your head, between your two little horns and rested an arm over your back, holding you closer to him again.

his last coherent thoughts consisted of just how happy he was to be back home with you, safe in your arms and your shared home. one fleeting thought appeared, just before he slipped into his dreams: he now had more stories to torment simon with.

[sunnysideaeggs]

TBs annoy me so bad bc like. If you appreciated Rhaenyra's very significant flaws (entitlement & irresponsibility) and the flaws on her team (made up significantly of children & people who refuse to admit Rhaenyra kinda screwed them over, Daemon just in and of himself, no one has any real plan whatsoever etc) then they could have a compelling fandom. Like I still wouldn't be Team Black but I would at least be like 'now here's a set of equally destructive opposing forces fighting for an inherently corrupt position, and here is the fandom for those fucked up losers' and I'd like it.

Instead they build their entire thing off of hating us and ignoring anything a TB character does wrong.

Accept it, weirdos: it's not about who's a good person it's about who's your favorite criminal and if your position starts with 'well they're ACKSHULLY a good person' you lose.

(Also for the record TG has more 'good people'- Alicent victim of years of marital rape and neglect/abuse who's finally looking after herself and her family without anyone to get in her way, Helaena victim of the same, Aemond who was viciously assaulted and maimed and told essentially to just shut up and get over it and can now get revenge, even Aegon though the show fucked him up to the point that I can't like him as much as you do

the main base of tb’s crazy fans it’s that they’re fed by the show’s creators and narrative, comparing rhae rhae to saints and great rulers when she’s nothing of the sort, being constantly told how she’s so good and wise but never actually showing it (kind of how daenerys was portrayed in her ruling of slaver’s bay, brushing over the flaws that will be relevant to the plot later).

one thing i need as a disclaimer in every episode: no one in this story is a good person, no one is perfect, no one has the inherent right to rule or send thousands to their death. you can like a character and be on their side (i know i am), but be fr.

tbh i don’t need to invent anything to defend aegon, i just watch the shows and read the books. if you need to bash another character to prop up your fave, ask yourself some questions.

and this is why i like the greens: they fight tooth and nail for what they want, because it’s all they can do. they fight like prey, they can’t afford to lose and suffer like they’ve been doing all their lives. they’re what happens when survival, ambition and revenge crash together and i love it.

[positivelybeastly]

X-Men #5

Late, but who cares? Let's go.

So, I've made no secret that I thought Kwannon wasn't really being given enough to do, these last few issues of X-Men, and it's for the same reason I'm happy to see Greycrow here - Zeb Wells' Hellions was amazing. It was one of the few Krakoa era titles that actually bothered to examine the moral double standards of the era, that really took advantage of its unique status quo, that looked at mutant resurrection and thought, okay, how can we mine this, not for obscure background cameos that will make a person on Twitter happy, but for actual drama? It was a truly great series, and I was hoping it would be followed up, if only in small ways.

I do like that Kwannon and John have a cabin together. With how they left off, it felt very personal and intimate between them, like they truly didn't need anything else to be content with one another, and neither of them struck me as people who need action to be fulfilled - or, rather, they don't see action as a means for enjoyment. As Kwannon says here, it merely gives them purpose. So far, so good.

Wasn't expecting an Amelia Voght callback, of all characters. Then again, this is a Jed MacKay joint.

Psychics and death, name a more iconic X-Men duo.

It is interesting that we get kinda sort of confirmation that Quentin remembers being a head, since I would've figured that the Cerebro cradles were down and he'd have lost those memories, but I suppose it's also possible he could have just heard about it second-hand and been like, wow, I got turned into a head in a box? Weird.

Yeah, no, you don't get to call Scott Slim, Quentin. Only Hank, Bobby or Warren get to do that. And Jean, if she's feeling quirky.

Can I also say something? I actually dig Quentin's fit? I don't know if that says something about my fashion sense or what, but I actually like this look for him more than . . . pretty much any other look he's had. Granted, that's not saying much, given his other uniforms were black blazer with t-shirt, the 60s retro-futuristic mutant fascist attire, or the bland melange that was his X-Force uniform, but I do actually like it. Purple and checker pattern work.

So, this whole issue is an homage to New X-Men #121, which was part of Marvel's Nuff Said initiative, and it, along with all the other issues published that month, had pretty much no dialogue in it, it was all told purely through art. It's not a direct homage, of course, since dialogue is happening, but I appreciate the lampshade being hung on it here, with Quentin both pointing out that this isn't like the other homage, and then not-so-subtly pointing out why it isn't like them.

Because Quentin can't shut the fuck up.

Honestly, that's a fun spin on it. That's how you iterate on something you've seen before.

I'm a sucker for mental landscapes. Always have been, always will. I just like getting to grapple with a character's psyche in a tangible way, it's why I like series like Silent Hill or Star Trek's many telepathic episodes. And if I had to break down why I like them?

Well.

Pretty much.

You really could've just called this New X-Men volume 3, Jed, and I don't think anyone would've objected. That being said - I couldn't have given less of a shit what happened in Marauders volume 2, so seeing that Cassandra Nova is back and wasn't consigned to the dustbin because of that series is a win in my book. She's a top tier villain, tbh, one of the best new X-villains of the last 20 years, and her particular incisive methodology for breaking down heroes' psyches feels like it's perfectly suited for the team of this book.

As she demonstrates.

Ahhhh, good foreshadowing earlier, good stuff. And I have to say, Stegman's Sabretooth is fucking top tier. Excellent rendition of the big man himself (whom I already miss, even if he does have a miniseries coming up very soon).

This is a great sequence, tbh. Like, poor Quentin - this is actually the most anyone has made me feel for Quentin since Aaron, about ten years ago - but in terms of threat and character exposition, it's very good, with some excellent art and very Nova-esque deconstruction. I also particularly like this panel composition.

His head is in a smaller panel. His head is literally in a box.

Good stuff, tbh. Again, this is the most useful Quentin feels like he's been in a while, because if he did anything of real worth in X-Force other than die, I'll freely admit that I do not remember it.

Hank, Scott, do you . . . wanna get them some paper towels, or . . ?

Overall, not a bad issue - definitely not as memorable as the original psychic rescue, though.

Now, originally, I was gonna say, you can't hold that against it, it's not easy to match Morrison, that's just common sense, but then again, most writers don't directly invite the comparison, so, I really hope Jed is cooking up something long term and satisfying, because constantly referencing Morrison is all fine and dandy, but it needs to go somewhere.

Still, I'd say the title has been squarely good thus far, and it still has room to get better and better, so I'm gonna give it time to breathe.

Also?

Our expert panel of judges have concluded that Hank McCoy once again wins the title of Original X-Man with the Dumpiest of Dump Truck Asses. Thanks for trying, Scott, but, uh. Your nickname is Slim for a reason.

Conner, you and I are gonna fight.

Damn right. It's not Hank's fault comics readers don't read anything from before 2010 . . .

[just-a-random-person24]

Woe! More notes apon ye!! Stark's Mind eps 5-8 notes

Episode 5

“Halle-fucking-lujah! even though i'm an atheist.” Again, no comment just noting

“Contacting the rescue team should probably be a sinch.” moments before disaster 2k09

*Zombie burning alive* “Hey can you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to think here, pal” sir you are talking to a zombie. It hasn't even been a day yet

“I think my experiences with mazes has manifested into reality.” why do you just? say shit like this??

“I should've gone to the gym more.” Twink.

again, not about the episode specifically but what the fuck causes those jibs?

“These things are straight out of a bdsm fantasy.” THATS ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE THEM IG

“No you're doing it wrong you don't spit it out! Especially you, David! I paid for that.” It hasn't even been a day yet

“A dog? A space pup??” SPACE PUPPYS (I love the houndeyes)

“And look, I'm responsible for this okay? I have the responsibility to make sure everyone gets out of here safely. You know why? Because I did this.” HE SOUNDED SAD WHEN HE SAID ‘I DID THIS’ AUGH

Episode 6

“Alright valve, time to work your magic! I don't want to be waiting here too long.” something, something Valve jab about Half Life and Portal 3

“We're gonna get out of here safely!” Oh he's being so optimistic right now

“That's a bit chilly.” I hope a frozen room is cold

“And without my glasses, I'm screwed! Why? Because I'm a blind motherfucker.” Average glasses wearer experience 🤝

“I could drown myself, I feel like doing that- I don't feel like living anymore.” babygirl… 😭

“Why am I laughing when I'm killing living organisms?” How many times can I say no comment in one document?

“Or maybe I was insane all along! Let's… not do that.” He's so silly

“If reality had a face, I'd kick it in the fucking dick.” tbh if I was in his place, I probably would too

Episode 7

“That acrophobic feeling is already settling in!” canonically suffers from acrophobia. mood

“This situation came by my hand. It's only appropriate it ends by my hand as well.” You still don't really know how to even close the portal yet… </3

“Do I jump down? No, not yet Black Mesa!” WHY IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT GOING TO KILL YOURSELF PLEASE GET HELP 💔

“Up is right! But then left would be down… Nevermind.” Why are you taking it so literally (I know what you are ♾️)

short episode, not a lot to say 💔

Episode 8

also sort of short episode rip

“Oh, a revolver huh?” I have 0 clue what version of Black Mesa this ep uses (or mod?), but that's usually a shotgun

“Luckily I've watched enough Clint Eastwood movies to do it, but I'm not sure.” Western movie liker 👈

“Why did they even install this?!” Great question! Why does Black Mesa have a ceiling turret??

[the-arcana-headcanons]

Heyy!I had a tumblr break cuz uni and work have been eating me alive,so I am currently trying to work out my writer's block.To get in the mood,I would like to ask for your matchmaker abilities and choose smb out of the M6✨️🩷

Welp,I am a queer girl (not good on labels tbh😂),mediterannean skintone,light brown eyes and light brown hair with honey highlights (that's the best description I could give sorry hehe)

Naturally I am an ambivert.When I am in a good mood I can get really social and I love humor in conversations it literally fixes my day.Usually the energetic one in groups in which I feel comfortable but I also value serioussness and deep talks and in one to one relationships.Can yap endlessly about any topic,I think however that for some people,that can be too much.

I have been told to be the therapist friend🤠, however mental health struggles and lupus, my autoimmune disease (invisible illness team yayy) can get the better of me sometimes,so there are moments where I get more introverted and need sometime to cool off from overthinking.I have had huge trouble with social anxiety,but I have learned to deal with it.Its a struggle,but I have made huge progress and I keep trying

I hate arguements and when tensions go high.I believe that if two people really care about eachother,wether that be friends,family,or partners,everything can be solved with civilised dialogue and respect.As you can imagine,conflict is not my strong suit hehe

I study architecture,and for a hobby I do theater classes,and ballet.Home hobbies are sketching, and writing,wether that be fics about my fictional crushes👀👀 or lyrics to help me vocalize my issues.

Rock music is LITERALLY my long lost dream.

That's all,I hope I didn't come off as a narcissistic for writing so much about mee.

WAITING FOR YOUR WISDOM DEAR MATCHMAKER🤌

labels don't matter actually I just use them to know whether to match someone with the boys or the girls or both, but you said M6 so both it is

also don't feel bad for writing so much! the more people write in their requests the more detailed my matchups can be!

anyways, Julian!

Julian prefers to be in smaller groups, really preferably just the two of you, and he loves going back and forth between fun silly conversations and deep serious ones too. Julian would love your yapping, yap away, he's a very good listener. Although he does get a little spaced out sometimes just staring at you and thinking about how beautiful you are and how lucky he is and how he doesn't understand how he deserves you and then he has to awkwardly ask you to repeat yourself. Julian definitely is in need of a therapist friend sometimes but he also would be your biggest supporter when you aren't feeling as well. He'd let you take his bed in Mazlinka's little cabin and he's bring you special medicinal soup and give you lots of space to feel better. Or he'd stay and just cuddle or be there as a comforting presence if you wanted him to. Social anxiety isnt a problem for him, he's mastered the art pretending he's confident, so if you ever shut down socially he can handle it for you. He'd also be so supportive of helping you work on and improve it, it's like acting and he's great at that. He doesn't like conflict either, arguments and tension make him spiral and isolate himself, so he is not one to jump to causing tension. He may have a hard time communicating sometimes but he wants to and he tries to. He'd be so fascinated with your knowledge on architecture, whenever you'd be walking around he'd point out buildings and things and ask what you think about them. He also LOVES that you do theatre, he fucking adores theatre, he would love to take you to shows. He would encourage your sketching writing so much, he'd want to watch if you were okay with it, but he wouldn't mind if you weren't. He'd always be asking to look at your finished works too

[alybur635]

I have 2

What would be your top 5 of Naruto's couples that you dislike/hate?

What is your honest opinion of Hinata's Character?

*swings door open* Hi anon, sorry it took a minute but I'm here now!

"What would be your top 5 of Naruto's couples that you dislike/hate?"

1. All the pedo/incest ships ofc (especially nejihina and the sheer amount of people who will ship them is greatly disturbing to me).

2. SasuSaku, I'm sorry but in my mind I don't think Sasuke should've had a kid with everything he went through. This dude has literal trauma filling up his being and he literally leaves at the end of the series feeling he needs to seek out redemption. Shit, I don't think he should've been in a relationship at all with everything he was mentally dealing with. I mean ig in boruto he's stepping up, but it doesn't really negate the fact he was still gone from a good chuck of his kid's and wife's lives. Mans needed therapy before needing a wife.

3. SasuKarin and SasuHina, mans was willing to kill one and the only thing he's ever said to the other is "shut up", there ain't no chemistry in either of those!

4. NejiTen, I...just don't see the appeal there. It's such a popular naruto ship but I do not see the chemistry others claim is there. The way this ship is sometimes portrayed by people as it needing to exist so Tenten isn't single, because a female character being single is that bad? It comes off as them seeing Tenten as an accessory for Neji when that just...isn't it. It isn't that great of a ship to me and it comes off as people sticking them together because it was a man and a woman on the same team, which is kinda boring logic.

5. Any ship with Rasa, Jiraya, or Hiashi because those bitches don't need a partner, they need to either get their shit together or get kicked down stairs.

"What is your honest opinion of Hinata's Character?"

TBH I actually don't dislike Hinata as a character, I think she's had some good moments to shine but because she is a woman in naruto she never got more than that (thanks again Kishimoto). Now a better explanation: I don't think Hinata is a bad character at all, but I think her development became heavily stagnant when shippuden rolled about. I think her writing and character were better in OG Naruto because yea while she did pin after Naruto, she was still her. She still had noticeable potential and a personality that helped her character to be noticed by viewers/readers. She had a steady character development that was at least noticeable, but for whatever reason we almost completely lose this in Shippuden. Now this isn't to say she didn't grow stronger as a character, because through her newer jutsu, war arc, and The Last, we can see her gaining strength isn't the issue. But her character really doesn't seem to develop as it did in OG Naruto, if anything it almost gets a bit worse? It's almost like her pinning for Naruto and a depiction of her simply existing as Naruto's potential love interest gets shoved in readers faces, almost overshadowing her other characteristics. Again, I am not saying she is a bad character at all, but the trauma we saw with her genin years and the development she had is never really pushed more, never really expanded in a way that helps to showcase the Hinata she could've been. Also the love thing is an obvious fumble on Kishi's end because we all know mans can't write female characters or love to save his life (unless you're minato and kushina which in that case was just luck)

[fluffypotatey]

Leverage Ep 11 >:3

Pre-game thoughts:

ngl the last episode was a lot of fun! got to see Nate at his breaking point, Sophie being the best (as always), ALEC AND ELIOT DUO!!!!!

also it looks like this one focuses on Parker? (at least, that’s what the blurb says 🤷🏻‍♀️) so praying for more moments for my ot3 🥰 either as duos or altogether, I do not care. just want them to have screen time 

anyway, can’t really think of anything else to add???

I mean, this is the last episode before the 2-parter finale, so I’m curious if this will touch on…..the ✨insurance company✨and that uh Crowley-looking dude (unrelated to GO!Crowley, a show I should also watch)

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT ON WITH THE SHOW ✨ 

Reaction:

ooooooh a flashback 👀

Ok that was not a safe dose

AHHHHHH THE STOVE

NOOOOOOOOO ERNESTO

is he dead?????

oooooooooh team drama 👀

lmaooooo parents (Nate/Sophie) using jury duty as a lesson

“Yeah, I know jury duty, this seems legit” <- has only gone once

OooooOOOoooooOoOooh defendant is wearing colored shades, he must be an asshole 😂

WAIT WHAT

WHO IS FILMING THE CASE???? IS THAT LEGAL????

babe, please step the fuck away from the jury panel. i would not be in favor of you anyways with you standing so close wtf

oop! she knows!!! fuck they’re gonna strike her out 

ok but seriously who are those camera people???? are they even a real legal team???? the ick is strong, I hope they burn this other team to the ground

YES PARKER

CONVINCE THEM

SHUT NATE YOU WERE A SLIMY INSURANCE MAN BEFORE YOU DONT GET TO TALK

everybody giving Nate the stink eye, yesssssssssss 

(You would think, with how much I yell at this man, I hate him, but tis the opposite! Love him. He’s just an asshole, and I would never like him in person, great character <3)

OMFG ALEC BACKSTORY??????

YES PLEASE

NANA YOU BADASS

ELIOT AND PARKER DUOOOOOO

FUCK YES

Lmao he took the beer

literally before clicking play I was like “you know, I don’t think Parker and Eliot have been a duo yet” AND HERE WE GO

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

nO glasses guy 🫢 was a faker?! <- is not shocked

jfc Alec is good 😍

ok what you doing Parker? oh wait nvm 

Chess???? lmao you nerd

“Hmmmm how do we show an evil character is smart…..I KNOW! Chess!”

ohhhhhh big pharma ok (can’t believe it took me this long)

WAIT WE DOING POISONED APPLE

ugh no we’re not

oh shit bribery????

ELIOT PLAYS CHESS???? you fucking nerd 💕

lmao Parker gets a lesson in social interaction (I’m so sorry, girlie, I’d hate it too, but tbh I also befriended an older lady while at jury duty so same????)

it’s ok Parker you tried your best 🫂

“I have a peanut allergy” <- love you Alec 

Nate, I sure hope you don’t regret that honeypot plan

OHHHHHHHHH oh dear ok now the brownface comments make sense

Ok show’s age has been shown

jfc Sophie wtf please tell me this is the only episode where this happened 

“I’m very spiritual” <- 🤢 god how many times have I heard this

Jesus H Christ I can’t even look at her T^T

awwwww Sophie is helping Parker

ELIOT YOU ARE SO CUTE

HES TRYING

PARKER YOU CUTIE 🥰 

i want Parker and the grandma to be friends. Like best friends

lmaooooooo she’s foreman now (I don’t think I spelled that right)

girlie, you sound like you’re giving the old man a job interview 😂

SHE GONNA BUY OUT THE LAWYER???? 

He won’t

Nate noooooooooo

ALEC

YES

MY BOY

HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN A SUIT

but also shit they are treading the legality there (<- she says even tho they do this every episode)

“Do you trust your government, Ms. Vargas?” ALEC 😂😂😂😂 bringing back the old teachings of being a Jehova Witness i see

WE ARE BARELY HALFWAY?????? (Sorry just looked at the time stamp  what do you mean it’s only been 20 minutes????)

“is that a high school yearbook?” oh my god

Alec, babe, love you, but what

ALEC I LOVE YOU

girlie you could say cauliflower steak

Awwwwwwwwwwww Parker has a friend 🤧🤧🤧🤧

Alec’s headshot is beautiful 

“It all checks out unless [says an example of exactly what Alec did]”

Ooooooh outsource mention 👀 

Nate there are cameras!!!!

“You know why they say, ‘Justice has a blindfold’? Because Justice is asleep” FUCKING DEAD

ok bro this isn’t jury duty anymore this is a trial???? did I miss the part where they finished jury selection 

OH SO HE’S AN ACTOR???

lmaooooo he was Scottish 

Awwwwwwwww Parker 🥺 “she likes rainy days” im fucking sobbing

Ok now that’s why we were only halfway 

“We win the trial” LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

Hehe Alec has to actually win the trial

“You think lawyers aren’t just pretending and trying to fill in daddy’s shoes” ok, uh, wow 💔 

SHE GOT A BAG LUNCH 🥺🤧

Eliot on another parents trip!!!

wait who is he fighting???? Oh ok

Nate, you look so fucking dumb 😂

*gasp* THAT MEDICAL MAN IS LYING FIGHT HIM ALEC

oh ho ho! bringing up his qualifications I see 👀 why he now only doing cases in Cali 👀

OH HO 👀

HE BROUGHT UP BIN LADEN 👀

GET HIS ASS ALEC! FUCK HIM UP!!! FUCK! HIM! UP!

Alex’s closing statement 👀 omg 🥺 yes babe 🤧 beautiful 💐 take my flowers 💐💐💐💐💐

jfc I’m nervous!!!! I know this will end happy but still!!!! So nervous 🫠

nooooo, she must not figure out 🫠

Oh dear, 

OH YES THEY TURNED OFF THE TV WONDERFUL

lol yesssss girlie, burn that fucking bridge!!!! BURN THE BRIDGE!!!! DIG THAT HOLE!!!!

unrelated but her jacket is super pretty

ok ok here we go. fuck I’m nervous 

YESSSSS LETS GO BITCH

FUCK YEAH MESS WITH THEIR CAMERA

why are you revealing yourself to her????? bro she could find people to get you!!!!

OMG SHE MADE A FRIEND! GET THAT COFFEE

Final Thoughts:

this episode was so much fun!!!! we may not have gotten much of the Parker/Eliot duo but I’m still happy that they got to tag-team! Parker learning how to socialize, be a team player, and lead was just 👌👌👌👌👌👌 wonderful so proud of her T^T Alec was amazing (obviously) and fucking killed both for stalling the case and winning it <3

not as much Nate/Sophie moments besides them acting like parents to their teammates and being a well-oiled machine 😎 so I’m still satisfied! a little disappointed that there wasn’t any hint for the finale but that might just be because of the messed up order again 😔 

overall: wonderful episode, this might be my favorite of the season (tho Miracle Job still has my heart)

[apocalypticdemon]

got this a few days ago but was in academic paper hell, so i'm sorry for the delay! thanks for the tag, @clandestinegardenias and @sunlaire!

do you make your bed? i definitely should, and i absolutely do not lol

what's your favorite number? i've had a personal fondness for 13 ever since i was a kid, but i also really enjoy the number 117. for nerd reasons

what is my job? that's. a moving target tbh. during the school year, i worked as a TA at my university, while working weekends at a coffee shop as a baker. now that it's summer, i'm going to have to get a second job, but the jury's still out on what that's going to be.

if you could go back to school would you? i am currently in school, and i'm hoping to get a PhD, so i don't think i'll be going back to school right now, lol. but in a hypothetical future, just to do whatever? absolutely. i would get another bachelors in neuroscience or some other field of biology, probably for medical research.

can you parallel park? absolutely. but i fuckin hate it, lol, and being on the road makes me nervous, so i avoid it at all costs. but i can do it

a job you had that would surprise people? dunno if i have anything in my history that has been surprising. i guess the lab technician one is kind of the outlier.

do you think aliens are real? yeah, but it's probably microbial life of some sort.

can you drive a manual car? i learned the basics, but all i can really do is drive in circles in a parking lot in second gear. my mom tried to get me to drive it on the road and i got scared, lol, so i never fully learned how to do it.

what's your guilty pleasure? honestly it's TV from the 70s. begrudgingly i have to admit i like CHiPs. Emergency! is a non-guilty pleasure, though. love that one with my whole heart. but a lot of older stuff has some... pretty not great politics involved, but i still really enjoy them. also have to admit that i really like those terrible Dan Brown movie adaptations, lol

tattoos? i want at least 3 and have plans, but i haven't found an artist yet to get them. but i don't have any as of yet.

favorite color? tbh it depends on my mood. the goth in me says that it's a deep burgundy or a velvety black, but really deep greens or very vivid sky blue is also very good. saturated jewel tones as a color class are my jam, i guess.

favorite type of music? this is a cruel question to ask me. i have so many. i've been on a real rammstein/alt metal/nu-metal kick lately, but i also really go for folk, hard rock, prog rock, and 1980s new wave music. but i'll listen to just about anything. if i'm going for orchestral music, i have to say minimalism all the way. i adore the work of philip glass and arvo part

do you like puzzles? absolutely, in any form. jigsaw puzzles are really soothing and engaging, but i also adore puzzle games. i've revisited the Portal franchise lately, and i have a game series called The Room (not the movie...) that's only a series of puzzles. they can be frustrating, but i adore them

any phobias? i am a deeply anxious person, but i am petrified of fire. it's kind of unreasonable. bugs and germs also make me lock up really hard, too, even though i can rationalize my way through them. but all of them freak me out really badly.

favorite childhood sport? oh it was definitely competitive swimming. soccer was really really fun, but i miss being on the swim team. though i did like 5 sports growing up and truly would just love to have joints that would let me do any of them again

do you talk to yourself? oh yeah. internal and external monologue, baby. my college friends got to be on a call yesterday and listen to me talk my way through editing papers, lol. i talk to myself while doing laundry, cleaning, just walking through the house or from my car to my place. truly, i never shut up

what movie(s) do you adore? there are a lot, honestly. Castle in the Sky, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Crimson Peak, Pacific Rim, The Nice Guys, and For A Few Dollars More are probably the movies i've watched the most. also literally any Dan Bluth film. the animation is always so gorgeous

coffee or tea? definitely tea. i love herbal teas, but i can't do caffeine, so like. there are only so many things i can drink now, lol

first thing you wanted to be growing up? paleontologist. hands down. i wanted to be a paleontologist from age like 6 until 15 or 16. then i had to do a research project on what jobs are growing and found out there aren't many job openings. so i pivoted to music. and then music academia. lol. lmao (i say it cynically, but i genuinely love what i'm doing, it's just funny to me)

this was lengthy, but if you want to participate, consider yourself tagged!

[itsclydebitches]

Am I the only RWBY hater legitimately happy they're addressing Ruby's trauma and her constant shoving it under the 'i'm a happy dappy shounen protag! you can lean on me!' rug. If it fucks it up I don't think I'll even be too mad - The Owl House fucked theirs up and that's one of the best new shows out. The fact they actually had Ruby faint as her literally shutting down to the new information was neat to me. So tbh despite the rest of the episode being, lmao, bad, I kind of want to be happy and expectant based off that alone. If the focus of the volume really is zeroing in on Ruby's mental health (which it definitely is squaring up to be) I'm kind of interested what they'll do.

You're far from the only one, anon! I'm cautiously hopeful, based primarily on that opening. The fact that we've got Ruby lagging behind the group alongside, our trailer with her past doppelganger seemingly judging her, tells me that yeah, we are squaring up to tackle this. Which is great!

It's also, honestly, kinda frustrating. I was saying years ago that if RWBY finally gets its act together it'll be too little too late in many respects and now we're bumping up against that very problem. I have trouble taking Ruby's trauma seriously when it was nearly nonexistent post-Penny's first death and actually nonexistent after her resurrection. I especially have a hard time taking it seriously when it's book-ended by cutsey mice and vine gags. I'd argue that on one level RWBY already has fucked up Ruby's mental health arc, simply by letting it languish for eight years and introducing the core of it in that mess of a premiere... but that's not to say that there won't still be worthwhile aspects this season, even if the arc isn't all that it could have been.

I'm also just so, so wary after Volume 8. Because Volume 7 had so much going for it. We had the same basic setup of, "This is nowhere near perfect because we had too many problems going into the season, but damn if what they're doing with Ironwood and the team isn't interesting!" And then that crashed and burned so very hard. Obviously that's not to say RWBY will fail again to follow up on what they've introduced, but history hasn't made me particularly optimistic.

Tomorrow is going to be pretty crucial imo. Because Ruby's faint - while yes, emphasizing her shock and tendency to, in this case, literally shut down - is also an easy way to dodge her having a more complex, nuanced reaction. The premiere dodged that further by going, "Ruby says she's fine and conveniently the girls aren't gonna push her about that. Oh look! The episode needs to end now." So tomorrow's 15-20 minute chunk is when the story has to start actually doing something with this revelation - whatever that looks like. If Ruby begins to deal with his somehow (because remember, we only have 9 episodes left), fantastic, we're on our way through a potentially satisfying arc. But if we continue to waste time on silly jokes while Ruby just remains perpetually in this state of, "I'm fine, no need to grapple with what I'm dealing with" - which, notably, has basically been her default state since Volume 3 - then I'm worried we'll get another one-episode "fix it" towards the end of the season, rather than an emotionally fulfilling arc. There's a big difference between actually taking Ruby through this journey of coming to terms with her grief and (fingers crossed) her mistakes vs. introducing us to the fact that She Is Sad and then giving us a scene later in the Volume when she inexplicably, completely Overcomes It. Think Oscar accepting his role as Ozpin's host off screen. Qrow suddenly deciding he's done with drink and look, there are no problems with quitting. Or Ruby's lie never amounting to anything, Ren deciding he's just a bad teammate somewhere out in the snow, even leaving half our characters for a Volume with a potential time-skip on the horizon.

RWBY is very good at saying, "Here's a big problem" and also "It's fixed now," but it's grown terrible at providing the in between; how we got from the staggeringly difficult problem to its resolution. I'm really hoping Ruby's arc doesn't go the same route.