#( but I do wanna get some stuff done this week. )
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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she's beauty she's grace she's Miss Eevee Cosplay 3.0
#personal#pls don't ask me why i'm up at 2am i don't wanna talk about it#anyway i think she's mostly done maybe#i did some more work on the bangs on the wig after i took these pictures so they look better#and i might try to find some flowery earrings when i go to the store for some other stuff tomorrow#but all the major things are done. i think.#honestly i'm all over the place rn so i could be forgetting something#i keep bouncing back and forth between the one million things i have to do (con and not con-related)#anyway i usually try to do a different cosplay every day of con but idk i think i'll just wear flower eevee both saturday and sunday#bc i've put so much work into it and tbh i don't think i can handle trying to get another cosplay ready rn#the only exception would be maybe doing eevee 1.0 or 2.0 bc have everything except the wigs for those ready bc of eevee 3.0#totoro is friday bc my friends and i are doing a ghibli group!!#i wish i had a different ghibli cosplay just bc i've done totoro so much but i do love totoro and she's easy and comfy so that'll be nice#sorry shutting up now i need to go to bed i have WORK TOMORROW#cries#i should start taking off the whole week of convention lol#(no i shouldn't i should just get back in the habit of getting my cosplays done early and not con crunching -.-)
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#i haven't been able to go through tumblr recently#i have a bunch of stuff ive needed to do and i haven't done any of it!!#i'm behind on secret life too :[ i saw pearl's episode last week but i haven't been able to watch any other POVs#or anything from session 2 which is sad#i don't wanna mute the tags so i'm just staying off the dash#but hopefully HOPEFULLY soon i get to have time where it's just me and i can just Draw#this weekend was nice but i am still doing a bunch of stuff#some good stuff too! my friends are lovely! but still stuff. and coursework.#gonna have to live like a hermit for the next while in order to have fun online and make fanart /silly#time to last minute work on my second group presentation project in two weeks!#delete later#the words of a fudgecake#[scheduled]#edit: after this was posted i broke up with my ex of almost a year lmao (its a good thing dw)
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Its so funny thinking about the different things people know me as in the yokai watch fandom. That one person who loves Babblong. The Roughraff guy. The one who drew way too much Casanuva at one point. The one with the goofy aus. One of the three (3) McKraken fans. Or when I used to be a Zote Hollow Knight/Captain Charlie Pikmin account (if you know me from those days DAMN)
#I have a new favorite guy of the week every week but ykyk#Being a tad hyperbolous there usually it's about two or three weeks but a few characters are certainly more prevelant!!#Drew R4wry a lot at some point aswell but that mightve js been on clockapp#Looking all the way back on this account won't get you the non yokai stuff bc that. Account was deleted for Reasons#On another note I'm so glad the yokai fandom is growing :) seeing people return to the thing that I've been obsessed with for over 8 years#Is fun sauce!!#Anyways. I'm rambling. Why did I make this post you may ask?#Bc I wanna. Aka I like yapping and just felt like it >u> it's too bad this place ain't like spacehey where there is a separate blog tab on#Someone's profile so i could filter this out#I do have a tag for that! Oh yeah; before I forget—#□ yolo watch 2!#●posts from yomakai#♤ resident rambles#<<<aforementioned tag btw#My current GOTW (gen neutral) is Rongo Swirll bc he's so awesome#Omg PLEASE tell me if you have hcs for him or any of his friends/family#Well found family OR!!! WAIT!!!#IF YOU WANNA EXCHANGE BACKSTORY HCS THATS NEAT TOO....#AGGHH ANYWAYS....I said I was gonna be done like 12 tags ago does godlike
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WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE
#I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BUT STILL. SOMEONE SHOULDVE WARNED ME BEFORE I GOT COMPLETELY INVESTED#I know next to nothing abt dimension 20 I’m pretty sure I just saw a post abt burrows end specifically MONTHS ago and was like 👀👀👀#opened a tab with the first episode to watch later and promptly forgot about it#until last night! having a bad night and was like hrm what if I just watch smth#and I’ve been reading watership down recently!! finally got my own copy bc it was my favourite book when I was like NINE#so I am fully primed to fall in love with a story abt little animals rn and man#I am OBSESSED with this and also realising yeah I’m at a point where I could get very into tabletop rpgs now#what if. what if I just get dropout. what if I just do that. would that not be fun. I would like to see the stoats do stuff#i am so in love with Ava and her player and I understand so much more about brennan lee mulligan now. and VIOLA#viola may be my favourite character I’m obsessed with how she interacts with other characters.m#i NEED to know what’s up with thorn’s cult thing. and also thorn. what is going on there#hrrgrhehh the thing that’s holding me back is I’m allergic to subscriptions#impermanence. even though I know it’s fairly unlikely I’ll wanna watch it again any time soon I don’t like the idea that I’d have to like#in a couple years pay for it again or not be able to bc I can’t afford it even though I already paid for it once#I’m a books + cartridge games guy and it shows.#okay. I will chew on this. the price is not unreasonable and I have coincidentally also been looking at make some noise clips#it does not help that I basically never watch things but my favourite podcast is also ending within the next month (2 episodes left)#and this IS primarily audio so I could cook + watch mayhaps. and I’ve heard good things abt all other d20.#they have a 20% off first year deal on. annual would make me less stressed long term if I end up liking this bc cheaper + choice premade#and would also mean I can do it now and not feel bad abt wasting the first month bc I won’t be able to watch much for a few weeks#fuck it I’m allowed to make frivolous purchases sometimes I will simply swallow the subscription distaste#more stoats >:)#that aside all the players are incredible I’m pretty sure when this is done I’ll wanna watch other seasons just to see what else they do#okay go do the thing I believe in you you can spend money sometimes#luke.txt#update I downloaded the app. I am putting off the decision for another day now bc it’s 1:21am and I have not been thinking clearly <3
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guess who spent way too much time working on writing stuff and thinking about ddlc tonight and is going to regret it in *checks watch* 5 hours
this guy!
#i have a few different projects i'm trying to parse through at once because i have things i want to get done and things i just want to do#i want to finish that yuri essay this week probably. i have unrelated rpg related stuff elsewhere w/friends i want to get done earlier#i really wanna finish ch3 & the afterword of coil soon. i also want to replay the original game#i have a few other fics i really wanna do. i need to answer those asks (which isn't hard i just gotta get in the headspace for it)#i have other thoughts i kinda wanna write out too but it's been difficult to really put them together lately#i took some advice and have been writing a lot of things down in a simple way and trying to word them right and that's been helpful but sti#i definitely do have a lot of thoughts i'm going to be posting soon but i need to hunker down and actually finish the big stuff too#but not right now. sleep now
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getting my haircut on tuesday eyyy. can't wait for it to be short again, i don't think i've had it cut in like 3? years?
might get it dyed blue again maybe soon as well!
#running through my head what i wanna get done before TWW getting some stuff done around the house before it's hot next week#mom has a bone density scan next week and then ivig the week after so want things done before that so i can relax a bit#and then finish her room so we can move her bed back in there#and debating if i should preorder xvi and ac shadows or not. they weren't on my very short list of games i planned to get day 1#but y'know what after the past few months? maybe they could be day 1 games#i also realized i have yet to get to mirage lol#it won't be for a few weeks anyway i got bills to do first
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how am i supposed to go back to work on monday like my life hasn't literally changed this past week lmaooooo like what
#everything has been put together except my office the bathroom and today's adventure of finding the right curtain rods lmao#but i have curtains in my rooms!!!!! will have to do the living room next#all the boxes and bins left are my fandom stuff that i gotta sort through and figure out what's give away storage or display#my bathroom just needs organizational stuff#and there's like random misc stuff that i need like lamps and bedside tables#the number of times ive been to the store to buy and return things... lord#but it does look much better and i feel good knowing the kitchen is pretty much done#no art is hung up yet either rip but i gotta figure out where i want that#a week is not enough time to do all of this omfg#tmrw im gonna try to get the office set up or at least start going through those boxes im making it my mission#i think ive hit a wall like i was just in Go mode and now that i know it's just fandom stuff i rly do not wanna go through it lmao#majority of it is like funkos or stuff from when i was a kid#also this area is like...... moneyyyy and there's so many ppl#the houses make me depressed a bit cuz some are vv fancy but others are just average and like it would be nice to own a house#but that is a whole other dream
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im having a hard time wanting to create content these days
#i mean the WANT is there. i just dont have the MOTIVATION to get started i guess#i cant believe i used to write one chapter a week#idk it takes so much effort for me to even be able to get ideas and want to write stuff#and i can lose the motivation so easily#text post#like im not gonna abandon any more fics and I especially wont abandon ppu#but for some reason writing and drawing have both become a chore and I just Dont wanna do it anymore#like i WILL#i'll never stop creating bc i still love it#but why does it feel so bad???#it takes SOOO MUCH just for me to want to write something. or to come up with an idea for a thing. and then takes even longer to make it#and by that point its like well...does anyone even want it anymore#or has someone already done it better than i could#idk. fic writing is hard. drawing is hard. ah well
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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I really lost an entire fucking WEEK to being sick huh like hrrrGGGG i had STUFF to DO. also i felt slightly better today so i tried to like gung ho do stuff and honestly im exhausted from doing like two things :(((( AND i have to be at stupid fucking work at 8 am tomorrow DDDDDD:
#yes i am WHINING but i literally had THINGS to DO#i have like three major sewing project to try and get done in uh. seven days. and im still sick. and im working everyday this week#also my paycheck is a good almost $300 less than it should've been bc i was SICK for a WEEK#im genuinely like. angry.#also had to fucking bribe one of my coworkers to fucking go in to work to cover my shift#bc he was like. oh yeah i know i literally promised you less than 12 hours ago to go in but now i like. don't wanna. im tired#FUCK OFF???#im so annoyed im like that's not how any of this works. and this was like. less than an hour before the shift started he was like#well i don't like. want to#and im like cool. great. super cool.#*mentally adds u to my list of entirely unreliable people*#sorry for tag rambling i just feel like garbage#i missed seeing nightvale live because i was sick#this was the first week were i was supposed to have like loads of time and do some fun things and get some stuff done that i had had in lik#over a month?#so i was. excited. for naught.#anyway uhhh bite kill bite bite bite kill
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feels weird to not have much to post, i feel like i basically disappeared off social media compared to how i used to post but. there is simultaneously so much going on (things that are boring/heavy and not fun to post about) and nothing at all going on (i have not been able to play anything very much and havent been watching anything besides random documentaries i stumble across), leading to me having nothing to say lmao
i did finally write down a bunch of hypixel worldbuilding headcanon junk instead of having it only be word-of-mouth between me and ark lol. only 1700 words, i can do better 👍 it was literally only about admin magic, what exactly it means to "hack," what a server is, and limbo kjgfhk. i might make a big post about the limbo section one day :]
#things that arent worth having their own post bc it's boring normal life stuff#I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!! i've only worked one day but i had a lot of fun#and i like my coworkers. im scared of tomorrow tho bc my manager who has been guiding me around isnt gonna be there#so second day in and im already on my own DFGHKJG it'll be fine.........#also I GOT MY DESK ORDERED LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO. SOON I WILL BE BACK ON THE GRIND I WANNA PLAY SKYBLOCK SO BAD#i've only been able to play on weekends or at ark's ;-; pain and suffering i need somewhere to sit#also fun fact. remember how the house was full of mold. well there was ALSO a gas leak for the past couple weeks#my existence is a miracle#im blaming all past behaviors on this. im normal now dont worry 👍👍👍#i think i already mentioned this but my snes power cable is missing and i need a new one Pain And Suffering#on the brighter side of my old games. i found by gbc! AND THE BATTERIES STILL WORK SOMEHOW LMAO#i can finally do a miserable gen 2 shiny hunt yippeeeeee#trying to find my gameboy copy of tetris attack but i dont see it anywhere 😔#uhhhh yeah that's about it i guess. been busy with sorting out work stuff and money problems and Everything Else#currently taking care of health stuff i havent done in years. time for dentist today wahoo#gonna try to get an eye exam soon. it's been like. a decade-#im not sure my vision is still 20/20 im having trouble reading some things digitally#billboards are fine. electronic ones are not those are just smudges#i dont know enough about eyes to know what that could be#chat
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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So, I need to get rid of older shots once again.
That said I'll now try update my oldest drafted VP posts about the past years of Ry and Vj with my usual description and tags and set them to queue which eventually will post them and with me forgetting about it.
They were intended to be posted with the next longer backstory text parts I still got to write … and as long as I do not do that they will continue to sit in my drafts. I better post them before I think they are too outdated (bc I got better + using rt now).
I'll redo them in some way anyways — but only after I've finished writing said story parts! (Alos won't start Thy's nor Jay's until I finished Vj and Ry either. I really gotta force myself to that 'one after another priciple' here, ugh.
#rant I guess#me still horting my pics#my work scedule is a mess when it comes to private work#I've started everywhere and can't get my shit done#wrting this writing that#constantly redoing outfits until I thin they fit#wanna try new stuff#wanna shoot#wanna comment#wanna do everythign at once#and than there is that friggin pain of perfectionism haunting me too …#I can't just make a normal post#as in - i go in the game - take some pics - post them - done#noooooo it doesn't work out for me like this#The shots you see me posting are at least 2 weeks old or up to half a year …
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...
#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
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i have so much i need to get done today godddddddd
#send help#i gotta do all this job application related shit today and then im tasked for a few things for this weekend for mania week stuff#i can push one thing for tomorrow but pretty much everything else needs to be done today while i have a good computer access ugh#im so tired i dont wanna i just wanna write#cause ofc when i finally get my groove back with that im punched in the face with everything else that demands attention#also annoyed at chris for only selling some shirts in the us shows and not actually in the dbru drop cause ofc i cant have nice things#and im still having other issues with myself on top of being dead tired so like#yeah life isnt fun. i'll hopefully manage for now but jfc#anyways the point of this was please send me distractions so i can take breaks in between working on everything before i lose my mind#night is an absolute mess on main
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