#( and those are my 6 stars in my 300 PULLS )

[boomania]

chat im so cooked

[cloud-ya]

hhnkkmmmmmm I have total surtr and mudrock brainrot

[nightcityace]

[ SUBJECT INTERVIEW: SUNNY ]

[NICKNAME:]

Sunny: I guess technically Sunny was a nickname before it became official, but I've also been called Sunshine, Sunbeam, Ray of Sunshine… you can probably see the pattern. Interviewer: And what is your real name? Sunny: Sunny is my real name. Just because it might not be the first name I had doesn't mean it's not my real name.

[GENDER:]

None for me, thanks.

[STAR SIGN:]

Misty says I’m an Aquarius. I guess I never really put much thought into any of that, but she really enjoys it so that makes it fun for me too.

[HEIGHT:]

5’ 9”, but some of my boots make me a little taller. No platforms or anything though, I wouldn't be able to walk to save my life.

[ORIENTATION:]

Only interested in men, but I guess I don't really try to define myself often. Just queer in general is probably the best term I suppose.

[NATIONALITY / ETHNICITY:]

That's another one I never really think too much about. A lot of people tend to think my family are Nomads, but we’ve been here since before Night City was Night City. My… (counts on fingers) great-great-great grandparents actually bought our property back when California was still one state, so we’re about as local as you get. Before that I think someone came from New York and before that I don’t really know, all over Europe I think.

[FAVE FRUIT:]

Strawberries, not like synthetic ones or those over priced cloned ones, real strawberries. We managed to get a little section of them growing at home and nothing can compare. 

[FAVE SEASON:]

Probably spring. I love getting to watch everything sprout and bloom, even out in the desert. 

[FAVE FLOWER:]

Sunny: People usually expect me to say something cliche like sunflowers, but I genuinely love dandelions. Especially when they grow up out of cracks in pavement or sidewalks. It's proof there's still nature in the city, even when they try to hide it under all the concrete. They’re stubborn little flowers and they're perfect. Interviewer: Aren't dandelions weeds? Sunny: Only because someone wanted to sell people on the idea of a perfectly sterilized, useless, solid patch of grass which completely destroyed the biodiversity of most yards. They’re yellow, they're cute, I like them. Interviewer: Got it…

[FAVE SCENT:]

This is a hard one to describe, but do you know how sometimes you can kind of smell outside? Not like… exhaust and garbage obviously… but there's a certain smell that gets in your hair and clothes when you've been out in the wind and sun and you can just tell that's what it is.

[COFFEE, TEA, HOT CHOCOLATE:]

Yes please, all of it.

[AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP:]

Probably about 6 or 7 normally. I tend to wake up early after having to for most of my life, but I love going back to bed. I'll usually wake up about sunrise or earlier and go have a cup of coffee and check my plants to see if they need water and if Vik isn't up yet I'll scooch back under the covers and go right back to sleep for a few more hours. Plus naps, naps are great.

[DOG OR CAT PERSON:]

Chickens. Okay okay, I know obviously I can't have them in the city, but the farm is well outside the avian exclusion zone. Seriously, they're adorable. (Pulls out phone to show no less than 300 different pictures of chicks and chickens)

[DREAM TRIP:]

Honestly I don't know. I like being close to my family and being in NC, so I don't think I'd want to go anywhere long. I have some Nomad friends though so a trip with them might be fun, maybe somewhere with actual mountains since I really like climbing around the canyons and stuff we have out in the Badlands. 

[FAVE FICTIONAL CHARACTER:]

Hmmm… I'm gonna go with Bugs Bunny. Both extremely cute and extremely chaotic, I respect that.

[NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH:]

I usually start with one or two, but I tend to run warm so by the time I wake up it's not uncommon for them all to be kicked down to the end of the bed or piled up on Vik’s side.

[RANDOM FACT:]

Sunny: About me or just like… a fact I like? Hm, how about: it's surprisingly easy to get a wild coyote into the front seat of a locked car. You wouldn't think so, but getting it out is actually much harder. Interviewer: Okay... That's slightly troubling... how about a fact about you? Sunny: I know how to get a wild coyote into the front seat of a locked car. 

This was so fun to do!! Thank you @dreamskug for tagging me!

I have a few other tag things I still need to do with Sunny, I swear I havent actually forgotten, I just have terrible time management... >.>

EDIT: oh dang I forgot to tag people D: I think most of my cp friends have been tagged already so I'll toss it to @wraithsoutlaws bc I want someone to have the audacity to interview Dagger :P

[pecandawson]

There are more than 300 Summoning Scrolls available in Dungeon Hunter 6.

In the Dungeon Hunter 6, I embarked on a grand quest with a collection of 300 summoning Scrolls. The allure of the unknown beckoned me, as I yearned for the thrill of uncovering hidden treasures and unraveling enigmatic mysteries. With a touch of opulence and a dash of elegance, I invited all to witness my journey, urging them to like and subscribe for more captivating gaming content.

But first, I delved into the realm of the unknown summonings. A myriad of opportunities awaited, as I sought the companionship of mighty melee units. My heart yearned for the elusive SSR units, the epitome of strength and prowess. As an Archer class, I possessed a formidable healer, yet the prospect of acquiring an even greater ally enticed me. The unknown summonings held the promise of greatness.

With bated breath, I embarked on the journey, unveiling the treasures hidden within the scrolls. The first to grace my presence was a five-star lieutenant, a beacon of power and potential. Another healer emerged, wielding the dual abilities of healing and shielding. A formidable force indeed, one that could prove invaluable in the battles that lay ahead. Bursting with anticipation, I continued my quest, unearthing a damage-dealing unit with the ability to weaken my foes. The allure of power and the thrill of discovery propelled me forward.

With each summoning, my desire for a melee SSR unit grew stronger. The allure of their strength and prowess beckoned me, yet I knew the path would not be easy. The journey to acquire such a formidable ally would be fraught with challenges and obstacles. But I remained undeterred, for the promise of greatness awaited.

He is truly liberated to engage in the game, my dear. Ah, this gentleman possesses remarkable strength, inflicting substantial damage and stunning his opponents. Do not underestimate his prowess, for he is truly exceptional for those who choose not to spend. Oh, divine providence! I have witnessed the appearance of that resplendent orange hue, a sign of a Super Super Rare (SSR) unit. Bestow upon me the hyped excitement that accompanies the acquisition of the Guardian, a master of control and shielding. Oh, how splendid! And he belongs to the grass type, a truly remarkable find. This, my dear, is the one we have been seeking. Furthermore, we have obtained yet another Senior Rare (SR) unit. This has been an exceptionally fruitful ten-pull, for we have secured the SSR frontliner, a potential main character in our grand journey. We could choose to skip the animation, but I must confess, I am rather fond of it. Let us proceed, my dear. We have exhausted six of our ten pulls, leaving us with four remaining. Very well, we shall proceed one by one, savoring each moment. Ah, behold! We have acquired 93 and four, and what is this? We have obtained something else as well. Ah, we have the opportunity to craft additional units, my dear. Look at this abundance of trolls! We can create more SR units with these resources. Furthermore, we have obtained yet another one of these and another one of those. Ah, this one is a fiend of ranged damage. I shall endeavor to create a tier list, my dear, and we shall embark on various endeavors with these lieutenants. As I have mentioned countless times before, the lieutenants are the cornerstone of this game. And what do we have here? An SSR unit! Oh, the anticipation is palpable. Wait, there is more to come. Ah, here it is! We have obtained an SR unit as well. Marvelous! We have acquired him once again. This stalwart individual shall serve as our main tank, for we have summoned him twice. This means we can enhance him to the sixth level, solidifying his position as a formidable force.

Grant me the embrace of the death knight or bestow upon me a sapphire hue, for I beseech thee, my good sir, it is truly disheartening when a legendary summon yields naught but a blue. Such disappointment weighs heavily upon my soul. Let the resounding applause of the like button rain down upon this highborn content, transforming it into a vibrant shade of orange, nay, even purple. Behold, a new revelation unfolds before my eyes, a wrathful healing and purging ability. Pray tell, what wonders does this Purge possess? It summons a celestial circle that mends the wounds of all allies, while also possessing the power to dispel their afflictions. Furthermore, it unleashes a skull-shaped missile that inflicts heroic damage upon our foes. Alas, their repertoire consists of only two skills, a modest offering indeed. Alas, this is our final encounter, and I dare not gaze upon it. Grant me the death knight I yearn for, or grant me... I hesitate to utter the words, for the constraints of this platform forbid it. Oh, dear heavens, not this soldier once more! We have encountered him countless times, a million, nay, a jillion gazillion times! My frustration knows no bounds. Alas, I am filled with regret, for I have failed to properly curate my wish list. The oversight is unfathomable, and I shall scour through the footage during the editing process to confirm my negligence. How could I have forgotten the wish list? It cannot be, it simply cannot be. My mind is in disarray, my friends, as we continue to be plagued by these melancholic blues. This, my dear companions, is our final encounter. 

[solaaresque]

hi hi reze i started playing arknights for u 🫶 i’m kinda obsessed with the gameplay bc its like one of those ads where you can’t let the enemy break your wall (?? i hope you know what i mean 😭). it would be so slay of you to give me ur friend tag 😚

also did not know it was a gacha so now it’s another game for me to suffer through 👍 though i did get two 6-stars on the beginner banner on my first ten pull but i have no idea what the rate is so yuh!

um i’m tired but i really need to turn in this assignment (on a movie i didn’t watch 😭 and i’m just procrastinating so hard rn) but make sure you don’t go to bed too late, drink water, and practice self-love 💗🫶😛 (that emoji is so weird but it’s funny to me)

hi hi lee !! oh my god i am so honoured <3 and yes yes the gameplay is sooo fun but it kinda sucks cause you have to think ?? about strats ?? (and yeah i get what you mean) AND YES YES OFC !! gimme a sec to find it on my phone and i'll add it here hehe :3

OH OH THAT'S GREAT which two did you get?? i also got two but it was a dupe so now i have pot1 hoshiguma lol (not that i'm complaining!!) the gacha rates for ak are kinda shitty though fair warning cause you aren't guaranteed until 300 pulls and only your first 10 pull on every banner guarantees you a 5* or higher which means every pull after your first 10 could literally just be all 3*-4*s :(

NOOO omg i hope you can finish your assignment on time !! and try not to stay up too late?? and ofc i will !! but same to you okay?? <3

[brave-symphonia]

Honestly, in my experience with the Limited Banners, the odds of you NOT getting Texas Alter in those 300 pulls are incredibly slim

I don't think I've ever had to reach 300 pulls just to get a single copy of the limited 6 star, and I've pulled on every single banner they've had so far.

But regardless, wishing you the best of luck on your pulls when the banner finally comes round~

Yeah, I figure I'll end up getting her, especially since I think it's a 70% chance per 6-star, and I'll have at least 3 six-stars, likely more.

I can't wait for the banner to come around so I can finally blow all this Orundum, though. Although, I hope it doesn't come too soon, so i don't lose too much Originite Prime.

[tjemegames]

HSR: 56K Stellar Jade Warp Session

Hello, hi! Yesterday was a very eventful day for my standard + (free) Ratio alt account. I’m honestly still not over the high of how these pulls went. I’ll show y’all what I mean shortly, but first some backstory:

I’ve been sporadically playing on this account since October of ‘23 and, up until 15 hours ago, I had not spent a single one of my stellar jades or any of the accumulated undying starlight from using the standard passes obtained through my gameplay. It’s been an excellent exercise of self control; if you haven’t hoarded more than a couple thousand jades before, give it a try and tell me if your fingers start to get itchy after surpassing 14,400 (90 warps).

The first and last set of pulls that I did before this were in February when 2.0 went live. I had 160 standard passes saved up at the time and got a very lackluster roster to work with. It really wasn’t all too much to write home about. This time, however, was an entirely different experience; 350 pulls, a small discord audience, and a bit of delusional dreaming made all the difference for me. I recorded most of the footage but I really did not feel like editing it so here we are in full text format instead.

Yesterday’s warps were wild, as you can see. I got seven, I repeat, seven 5 stars in 350 pulls. Six of those being brand new additions to my account as well. The luck was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Two back to backs too. Like what??? I’ll gladly take it any day.

Let’s take a more in depth breakdown of everything I got under the cut, shall we?

This is a long list so bear with me:

2 x March 7th (e3)

1 x Pela (new)

1 x Planetary Rendezvous (new)

1 x Eyes of Prey (s4)

3 x Luka (e3)

1 x Subscribe for More! (new)

2 x Xueyi (new, e1)

2 x Sampo (new, e1)

2 x Trend of the Universal Market (new, s2)

1 x Herta (e6)

1 x Welt (new)

1 x Memories of the Past (new)

1 x Gallagher (new)

1 x Post-Op Conversation (s2)

2 x Asta (e2)

3 x Geniuses’ Repose (new, s3)

2 x Indelible Promise (new, s2)

1 x Night on the Milky Way (new)

4 x Hook (e5)

1 x Sushang (new)

1 x Bailu (new)

2 x Swordplay (s3)

1 x Clara (e1)

1 x Qingque (e1)

2 x Good Night and Sleep Well (new, s2)

1 x Guinaifen (e2)

2 x A Secret Vow (s3)

1 x Landau’s Choice (new)

1 x Himeko (new)

1 x Dan Heng (e2)

1 x Shared Feeling (new)

1 x Under the Blue Sky (s2)

1 x Sleep Like the Dead (new)

1 x Arlan (new)

1 x Time Waits for No One (new)

The grand total being equivalent to seven 5*s; 3 new characters, 1 eidolon, 3 new light cones and forty-four 4*s; 6 new characters, 17 eidolons, 9 new light cones, 12 superimpositions. This averages out to be 50 pity per 5* (quite lucky) and 8 pity per 4* (not very lucky but still better than the expectation).

So much stuff, and most of it being new and extremely useful is such a huge bonus. My roster got so much nicer after this session. I’m both very excited and a little bit dreadful for the building process I’m about to go through with everyone. I already started leveling up the characters I plan to play with but the relic and trace grinds are going to be an uphill battle. Hopefully the rng isn’t too punishing after all of this… but I may have already used up all of my luck — I don’t think I’ll be over these pulls for a quite while.

The only downside is that I didn’t pull Bronya or Gepard so I have to make the very crucial decision of choosing one of them from the 300 warp selector reward. I’m torn because I so very badly want to play an optimal Yanqing team but I also know how much of a difference Bronya makes overall. I’m going to have to think on it for a while longer before I make my choice... Oh well, you can’t win them all.

[hananoami]

[03/12] Building off of this thread for this senior hunter contest. This is my current team set up to see how far I can progress the rounds only using auto battle. I have not pulled on the new banner for any of the new memories, thus I don't have any bonuses at this time. This might change in the future before season ends.

ZAYNE (9/12 medals) Clear all four rounds, but 0-star the fourth stage.

S1: 3-star (20 diamonds)

S2: 3-star (20 diamonds)

S3: 3-star (20 diamonds)

S4: 0-star (20 diamonds)

RAFAYEL (6/12 medals) Cleared stages 1 and 2 with 3-stars, but stuck on stage 3.

S1: 3-star (20 diamonds)

S2: 3-star (20 diamonds)

S3: uncleared

S4: uncleared

XAVIER (4/12 medals) Cleared stage 1 with 3 stars, stage 2+3 with 1-star, and currently stuck on stage 4. I could probably go back to earn another star in stage 3. Might need to revise my team composition or work on leveling up some memories to 60+

S1: 3-star (20 diamonds)

S2: 1-star (20 diamonds)

S3: 1-star (20 diamonds)

S4: uncleared

As of this first attempt of the new senior hunter season, total rewards eard are the following:

20/36 medal = 300 diamonds

2x energy capsule: vigorous (120 stamina)

[03/13] Made some poor life decisions and pulled banner for the new memories. Hit the soft pity of [Zayne: Hearts Within Reach] and [Xavier: Romantic Afternoon]; both coming home after 62 pulls. I lost the 50/50 for Rafayel (ended up getting a dupe for Zayne's Heart Within Reach for R1] and had to use my precise wish to obtain [Rafayel: Whispers] after 30 pulls luckily. Gonna work on those now.

[03/15] Leveled up the new memories and made some adjustments to the current team set up. Here are the results after redo-ing all the fights.

Team B: [Hidden Shadow] ➝ [Whispers]

Unfortunately, there wasn't any improvement here. I thought swapping out the HP memory for an ATK based memory would help, but I can't seem to push round 3 right now. Not doing enough damage? IDK. The recommended memory level for this round is 75. I wonder if leveling up [Whispers] will help, as the other lunar memories are 60.

Team C: [Fragment in Time] ➝ [Romantic Afternoon]

On the other hand, swapping [Fragment in Time] for [Romantic Afternoon] showed drastic improvement. After swapping the DEF memory for an ATK based memory, I successfully gain 3-star in both rounds 2 and 3. I was even able to go to round 4 and cleared it with 1-star.

I'll have to sit and cook on what I can do to further progress with Team B, even though Rafayel has the most high leveled memories in my collection. Sighs, it could also be a skill issue. At least there's still time.

An updated tally on the rewards I've gained so far after this attempt.

10/12 rounds cleared = 200 diamonds

25/36 medal earned = 400 diamonds

3x energy capsule: vigorous (180 stamina)

!! -- messy update below -- will reformat later -- !!

[03/15] Some quick updates. +2 medal in R4 for Zayne/Team A. obtaining 11/12 medals. An updated tally on the rewards I've gained so far after this attempt.

10/12 rounds cleared = 200 diamonds

27/36 medal earned = 400 diamonds

3x energy capsule: vigorous (180 stamina)

[03/22] Lots of improvement during today's attempt. Cleared R3 (20 diamonds), +2 medal for Rafayel/Team B. Also managed to cleared R4 (20 diamond) with 0 medal. Rafayel's total medals gained overall totals 8/12.

Final tally of this season's progression:

12/12 rounds cleared overall

29/36 medal 30/36 medals!

3x energy capsule: vigorous (180 stamina)

*update! I was one medal away from 30... so I kept doing attempts on any rounds that I was missing a medal for. #30 came from Xavier's/Team C using a claymore in R4 for 2 medals! It's good to note that you should always attempt clearing rounds with other weapons in case you get lucky with crits!!

[03/11 - 03/24] Senior Hunter Contest

New Senior Hunter Contest season! This one will last from 03/11 to 03/24.

Stellactrum Requirements

Team A: ( 5 ) Sapphire memories + ( 1 ) Ruby memory

Team B: ( 4 ) Violet memories + ( 1 ) Pearl memory

Team C: ( 3 ) Emerald memories + ( 1 ) Amber memory

Seasonal Bonus Memories

5-star Memories

☆ [ Xavier: Romantic Afternoon ] — Emerald / Lunar ☆ [ Zayne: Heart Within Reach ] — Sapphire / Lunar ☆ [ Rafayel: Whispers ] — Violet / Lunar ☆ [ Rafayel: Unforgettable Adventure ] — Amber / Lunar

4-star Memories

☆ [ Xavier: Garden of Secrets ] — Amber / Lunar ☆ [ Zayne: Ramblings Come True ] — Emerald / Lunar ☆ [ Rafayel: Oceanside Exchange ] — Emerald / Lunar ☆ [ Zayne: Neon Night ] — Ruby / Solar

[musings-of-a-rose]

I Hate That I Like You - The Premiere (Part 3)

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x f!reader

Word Count: 2600+

Rating: M for mature - 18+ only! NSFW

Warnings: Mature themes and some canon mentioned. Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: This is a one shot set after the events of the main story, I Hate That I Like You.

I originally posted the fic as partly as a thank you for reaching 300 followers (and partly because I couldn’t resist that man), but as I go to schedule this one, I hit 400! I am absolutely FLOORED and I can’t eve find the words to thank each and every one of you who followed me, reblogged my writing, liked it (which I know does nothing in the algorithm, but I still see it and it makes me smile), commented, pm me, told me you were re-reading fics I’ve written (cried about that one for a while!), all of it. You all mean the world to me and just know that if you’ve interacted in some way, I have seen your name and I recognize it and you make my day every time.

**Reader is ethnicity inclusive despite stock photo bias

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

The day you got out of the bubble, Dieter took you out on your first date. You expected something lavish and over the top, considering her personality, but it was surprisingly simple and low key. He even rented out an entire back room just so you could have your privacy. When he had arrived at your door, he asked you bluntly if you were sure about dating him because once someone recognized him and saw you with him, you couldn’t take it back. And while the majority of his fans were great people, there’s always those select few that are not. You were sure and happily went on that date.

That was nearly 8 months ago.

Editing takes longer when people are working from home, communicating being a little more difficult, edits and re-edits needing to be discussed. But finally, Cliff Beasts 6 was ready and the premiere was looming.

Dieter had asked you to accompany him and you happily agreed, never having been to a premiere before. He told you it would be different, as there were new procedures in place due to the pandemic. But you didn’t care - you were there to support him. Although seeing your work on the big screen was a definite plus.

A knock on your door pulls you from your thoughts and you glance at the clock, surprised he was on time for once. You plan to make a remark about this, but all words leave your head as you open the door and see Dieter standing there.

He’s in simple black dress pants and shoes, no tie, a white long sleeved top buttoned all the way up under a black coat that walked out of your fantasies. It reminds you of something Mr. Darcy would wear. The long black coat comes down to his knees, with a simple 3 buttons and 2 pocket flaps, one on either side of the coat. His hair is wild, his curls roaming free after letting them grow just a little. He’s let his facial hair grow a bit, knowing you love the bald patches on his jawline. He has his glasses on, the ones with the thicker black frames that you adore. He looks up at you, smirking at the look on your face.

“You look like a fish.”

Snapping yourself out of the trance, you retort. “Yeah, well you’re a jerk.”

He smirks. “Not your best work.”

“Yeah well. They can’t all be winners.” You gesture towards him and he gives you a couple claps.

“Much better.”

He finally takes a look at you, eyes roaming up and down your body at the ridiculous dress you have on. You’d never been to a premiere before and had no clue what to wear, really, since you weren’t a star. The minute you asked Dieter for help you regretted it, getting sent pics of increasingly slutier dresses before you finally asked if he preferred you go naked, to which he replied “Only for me.”

The dress was gorgeous and fit your body like a glove, showcasing all of your best features. It cost more than your entire apartment and was definitely not something you would’ve picked out, but you have to admit - you did rock this thing.

“You look beautiful, Bee.”

“As do you.”

He looks at you expectantly and you sigh, giving in only because this was a big premiere night.

“Big D.”

“That’s my girl!”

–

He helps you into the limo, where you sit with your leg bobbing up and down in anticipation. He places a large, warm palm on your bare skin and your knee stops bouncing.

“You don’t have to be nervous.”

“I know, I know. Everyone is just a regular person, but it’s all the cameras and-”

He lets out a raspberry. “Ignore that. Big D will show you a good time.”

“Oh God let me out.” You pull at the locked door handle as Dieter chuckles.

He chats with you, a constant stream of words and random stories - his attempt at calming your nerves. And fuck if it didn’t work. His voice was actually soothing to you, calming you down no matter how wound up you were..but you’d die before admitting that to Dieter.

Pulling up to the front, someone walks up to the door to open it. Dieter squeezes your hand.

“Ready?”

Letting out a breath you nod. “Ready.”

Dieter gets out of the limo, lights on cameras flashing away and the distant sound of screams from where they kept the fans away, having to keep everyone at a social distance. Dieter still walks over towards them, waving and turning around to pose in a giant selfie with them all. He waves and chats as well as he can and you can see how it kills him to not be in the crowd with them, interacting on a personal basis. Someone taps his shoulder and leans in his ear and he waves bye to the fans, turning back towards the main carpet. He offers his arm to you and you take it, allowing yourself to be led down the red carpet, lights flashing before your eyes as photographers yell for Dieter to turn to them. You gently let go of his arm and he looks at you, giving you a small smile as you nod and step back, walking back several steps and standing out of the way as he poses for pictures.

His whole face lights up with a smile, turning left and right, throwing up hand signs as he could and you find yourself getting warm between your thighs as you take him in. A couple minutes pass before you feel a hand on your arm. Turning, you see Carol Cobb’s long time girlfriend, Amy. You smile a hello and she jerks her head, away from where Dieter stands. You follow, keeping an eye on Dieter so he knows you didn’t ditch him. She leans in to speak in your ear.

“This is where all of the others wait.”

Chucking, you ask “Others?”

“Yeah. Significant others, friends, parents. The others. We’ll meet them at the other end of the carpet. The press needs their pics.”

“Oh right. Dieg-Dieter mentioned that. Thanks for grabbing me.”

“Welcome! You can hang with me.”

A bit goes by before you and Amy make it to the end of the red carpet, waiting for Dieter and Carol. They arrive and you all exchange the basics before turning to head inside. You mill around, speaking to random people and waiting by Dieter’s side as he makes the rounds, always making sure he’s touching you, as if he’s checking in. You squeeze his hand or touch him back to let him know you’re good.

About 20 minutes goes by before a man comes up to Dieter and speaks in his ear, Dieter nodding.

“Come on, Bee. They need us backstage.”

You both follow the man to a backstage area. It’s basically empty, no one milling about or even walking by. The stage where the giant screen is is just beyond the curtains. The man ushers you both off to the side before leaving.

“I gotta say a few words before the premiere.”

“I can’t believe they picked you for that.”

“They said I was the most charismatic.”

“Then we’re all screwed.”

He scrunches his nose up at you in response and you wink at him as you turn to try and peek out of the curtains, Dieter moving to stand behind you. His hands come to your arms, tracing light paths up and down your bare skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. Then his fingers start dancing towards your cleavage and you grab his wrist.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

His voice is in your ear, speaking low. “Touching my girlfriend.”

Heat rushes your body at the thought and Dieter notices, taking advantage of the moment to slide his hand down the front of your dress and pinch your nipple.

“Diego…” You get lost in the sensation for a moment, the heat between your thighs getting louder. But then you remember where you are and you pull his hand out, pushing it off to the side. He lets out a huff, momentarily letting you be. Suddenly, Dieter pulls you to his chest, wrapping you in his coat with him.

“What are you-”

“Sshh. Hold this.” You look down and see the opening of his coat, being held together by his hands. You grip it, brows furrowed in confusion. But before you can ask again, his lips are on your exposed neck, biting, licking, sucking, kissing. Your knees go weak for a moment but you don’t fall, Dieter holding you up inside the coat.

“You gonna be quiet for me?”

“Why would I n-need..oh!” The last word is whispered out as Dieter’s hands slide into the coat, finding the slit in your dress and slips his hand inside, running his fingers along your seam. He grunts in your ear when he feels how wet you already are.

“Already waiting for me, huh?”

“Fuck you, Diego Morales.”

“That’s the point, Bee.” He chuckles and you can hear the smirk on his face.

“God, you’re insufferable sometimes..” His fingers found your clit, rubbing circles there.

“I think you’re ready.”

“What? No, Diego. We’re in public.”

“That’s never stopped you before.”

“I only did it to shut you up.”

“Well then, hold tight to the coat.” He grabs at your dress and lifts it up towards your hips, unzipping his pants to free his hard cock. He slides it through your folds and you moan, unable to stop yourself.

“Now now, shush. Big D will give you what you want.”

“Oh God, don’t you shut up?”

He plants his hand on the wall in front of your face, gently leaning over your body to bend you over slightly. He thrusts up into you and you whine, his other hand flying up to your mouth.

“You need to be quiet or we’ll get caught.” His voice is low and raspy, and you hate how much it turns you on.

He sets a rough, quick pace, knowing that you’re playing with time. Your fingers clutch at the opening of the coat, holding it together as if the coat could hide the way you’re practically slamming into the wall. Dieter’s hand is on the wall slightly above your face, bracing himself as he fucks into you. His hands are so large, the little bullseye tattoo straining with the pull of his skin as his fingers grip the wall. You remember exactly what those fingers could do and you can’t help the cry that escapes your lips before slamming them closed.

“You like that? Like how Big D fucks you?” he whispers in your ear.

“Fuck, you’re so annoying.”

“Yeah, but you love it.”

“Don’t let my feelings fuel your ego, Big D.”

“Ah ha! See?”

The idea of getting caught, the way you and Dieter verbally spar as he fucks you fantastically grows your orgasm quickly. You grab his hand that’s not on the wall and bring it to your clit, rubbing circles there. He thrusts into you twice more before you come, squeezing him as the hand on the wall flies to your mouth so you can moan into it. Once you start to come down, Dieter’s hand returns to the wall and he resumes his pace, chasing his own high. It only takes several more thrusts before he’s grunting in your ear, spilling himself inside you.

He places two soft kisses on your neck before pulling out, stuffing himself back in his pants. His hands ghost across your hips, finding the edge of your dress and pulling it back down, smoothing it out as you drop his coat. You turn around to face him, still slightly out of breath as you look into his eyes, which are now soft.

“I hate that I love you so much.”

“I hate that I love you so much.”

Smiling at each other, you kiss, several moments passing before you hear someone clearing their throat. Breaking apart, you see the man who had escorted you backstage.

“Are you all set, Mr. Bravo?”

“We’re good, kid. Thanks.”

The man turns back around and starts to usher some people back into the area where you had previously been alone. Realization sets in and your eyes grow wide as you turn to Dieter.

“Did you have that man keep the room empty so you could fuck me?”

His eyes sparkle. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Your jaw drops open, but you don’t have time to respond before hair and makeup rush Dieter, dabbing at him before his time on stage. He kisses the back of your hand as you’re escorted to the main seating area, sitting down in your designated chair next to where Dieter will be sitting.

The nerve of that man! You find yourself trying to stifle a smile. But he did it for you, knowing he could help you relax. And ensure you wouldn’t actually be caught.

The lights dim and Dieter steps on stage, a spotlight following him around as he starts his speech. You watch him, his eyes sparkling still as he gestures around, his hair looking impossibly soft as it curls up at the ends, his face animated in his speech. And that’s when it clicks into place -

You would spend the rest of your life with him if he asked.

–

The movie was…well it was Cliff Beasts 6. But everyone seemed to love it and you watched Dieter maneuver around the journalists, answering questions and posing for pictures, but this time, his hand never left yours. You would shift yourself behind him, wanting him to have his time in the spotlight but he would pull you back around, inevitably bringing up the fact that you were the one that styled his hair during the entire experience of being in the bubble.

Back in his apartment, you stand in front of the window, admiring the night time view of the city, lights twinkling and cars zooming by on the road below. Diego walks up, handing you a glass of wine and you clink it on his, taking a sip after. You both stand there in a comfortable silence, content to just be around the other.

“Marry me.”

You nearly drop your glass as you stammer out, completely caught off guard. “Wha-what?”

Diego turns to face you and gets down on one knee, taking your hand in his. He pulls a small box out of his coat pocket, neither of you having undressed when you got back. He opens it to reveal a gorgeous ring, completely your style, and you realize that he had to have had it in his pocket the entire evening.

“Bee, I know we started out hating each other, but you somehow crawled into my heart. I love how we get each other riled up, but we also use that same energy to love each other so intensely that sometimes I’m overwhelmed with how I feel. I know I can be an asshole sometimes, but that’s only because I’m used to being the only one who looks out for me. Now I have you…if you’ll have me. Will you marry me?”

Staring down into his eyes, which were now round and glossy, just like a damn puppy, you remember your realization from earlier and know what your answer will be.

“If only so I can continue to knock your ego down a few pegs.”

He smiles wide. “That’s a yes, then?”

“Yes. I’d follow you anywhere, Diego Morales.”

He slides the ring onto your finger and stands up, crashing his lips to yours before pulling back.

“I love you so fucking much, Bee.”

“I love you so fucking much, Diego.”

His lips find yours again as he walks you backwards towards the bedroom door. Wedding planning can wait until later.

—----

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[heckalecki]

Nikes

bucky x reader

Howdy

This collection of one-shots are all inspired (in some way) by the album Blonde by Frank Ocean (a certifiable BANGER may I say.)

Each one-shot will feature lyrics from one track of the album and be somewhat inspired by those lyrics too. Will be a variety of fluff, crack and angst - let me know if you have any specific story requests via my FIC REQUESTS page on tumblr and I will try and fit them in! Go on, give me a follow.

Enjoy <3

“All you want is Nikes

But the real ones just like you

Just like me”

Nikes, Frank Ocean

“You spent how much on shoes?!”

You rolled your eyes and continued to wiggle your feet in your new Nike sneakers, resuming your clumsy happy dance around the Tower kitchen.

“The price isn’t important, Bucky, look how cute they are!” You grinned, unable to tear your eyes off of the baby pink, clear soled trainers. You were zig-zagging around the kitchen table in pigeon steps.

“$300 worth of ‘cute’?” Bucky grumbled and half-heartedly flicked through the newspaper.

“$300?!” Steve balked, actually paling at the amount of money. “That would’ve covered our rent for 30 years in the 1940s.” You rolled your eyes and stopped dancing. l

“Steve, don’t make me explain inflation again .” You sighed. Bucky smirked at the blonde man over his paper before narrowing his eyes at you again.

“$300 is still too much, y/n.” He put the paper down and raised an eyebrow at the shoes. “Why are you doing that ridiculous dance?” You frowned and stopped mid moonwalk, pouting grumpily at your boyfriend.

“I’m testing them out.” You blushed, switching to jogging on the spot. “Making sure they work.” Steve was failing miserably to stifle a chuckle and Bucky’s face creased in confusion.

“Testing them for what? I’m sure they can handle your pace of running…” He teased grumpily, moving to the fridge and getting his second portion of leftovers. You ignored the comment about your speed and switched to star jumps, huffing out an incredulous laugh.

“Running? God, no, I’m not running in these bad-boys. I might scuff ‘em.” You said, crouching down to tighten the pale laces. Bucky all but slammed the fridge in response, spinning to glare at you.

“You’re not even going to use them for running?!” He dragged a metal hand down his face and slumped his shoulders in defeat. You grinned and speed-walked over to Bucky, pressing a wet kiss into his cheek.

—---- 6 hours later —------

“Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch-” You yelped with every limp back into the Tower elevator. Bucky raised an eyebrow in an ‘I-told-you-so-fashion’, a permanent look of glee on his smug face.

“I told you, doll, I can carry you back to our floor-”

“No! I’m fine, th-they’re just - shit !” You interrupted yourself with a groan and Bucky snorted and put a supportive hand on your lower back. You glared at him but didn’t make an effort to shake him off.

“They’re just new .” You corrected and scowled at the uncomfortable shoes. “I get blisters with all my new shoes.”

Bucky watched you hobble another two steps before rolling his eyes and picking you up bridal style, grinning down at you and walking effortlessly to your shared suite.

“Sure, doll. Whatever you say. Have you at least still got the receipt-” You looked like you were about to protest so Bucky added, “just in case! Just in case.” You looked sheepish and then hid you face in the soldier’s chest. Bucky fixed you a stern look, “Don’t tell me you lost the receipt, Y/n?” You grimaced and mumbled into his chest,

“Well, I kinda threw it away…Not that it’ll matter now the insoles are covered in blood…” You whispered, hoping your boyfriend wouldn’t hear that last part and descend into overprotective, macho chaos.

“Blood?! Why didn’t you say something earlier?” He picked up the speed, shoving open the door to your living room and settling you down on the sofa. He kneeled down in front of you and gently pulled off one of the offending trainers. You winced and couldn’t bring yourselfto refuse the fussing.

“It’s okay, really, I just bleed a lot…” You mumbled, Bucky cut you off with a caring glare, peeling away your bloody sock with a grimace.

“Honey…” He started, looking genuinely upset. “I’m gonna get the kit.” He stood and made his way to the bathroom to retrieve the medical kit that you frequently needed for your clumsy accidents.

He padded over softly, having shucked his own comfy, well-worn trainers. He took your sore foot in hand and wiped away the blood. He softly smeared cream onto your burst blister and pressed a plaster over the area carefully. He finished off by laying a feather-light kiss on the dressed injury.

Bucky looked up at you all soft around the eyes, a lovesick smile plastered on his face.

“You’re an idiot, you know.” He chuckled affectionately.

“ Your idiot.” You grinned

“ My idiot.”

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

And I Will Hold Onto You

Summary: They’ve never been apart for holidays since they started dating. That was until Spencer Reid found himself behind bars for a crime he’d never think of committing. Growing and healing, Spencer realizes that it’s not the holidays that matter, it’s the person. Because with that special person, who’s laugh he can recognize anywhere, even cleaning up the empty bottle the next morning is magical.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.1K

Author’s Note/Warnings: Body Image Issues (Male) nothing too descriptive, prison arc is mentioned/is central issue; loosely based of New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift

Also this is technically a part 2 to Drag Me Head First but it doesn’t have to be read that way.

And I Will Hold Onto You

There’s something special in the way that the first midnight of the new year feels. All that hopefulness and excitement packed into a 10 second countdown. The energy in the room slowly bubbles up, culminating as the ball drops. It fizzles out as loved ones share chaste kisses and friends hug. But all that remains are last year’s bottles and this year’s dreams. Maybe it’s something that Spencer always took for granted.

The cold midnight air is jarring, compared to his warm and cozy house. Spencer walks quickly, taking out the trash, filled with bottles of beer and wine. The snow crunches under his shoes and Spencer can see his breath in the air as he huffs to toss the bag in the black trash bin. Spencer, despite the way the cold air nips his nose, stops in his tracks and gazes up at the stars. It’s unfortunate living where he does, you can never really see all the stars. Maybe Y/N would like to take a trip in their cabin the next time he can get off? He could show her all the stars. But Spencer doesn’t need to go to the middle of the woods to see the stars; he can simply look into Y/N’s eyes and see all the magic the universe has to offer.

Spencer lets himself back into his house, just as Garcia and Derek are putting their shoes and coats on to leave. Y/N comes out of the kitchen carrying two trays of leftover food for their friends to take home.

“Penny, please kiss those sweet babies for me,” Y/N says, handing Luke the trays of food. She leans over to kiss Penelope on her cheek.

“They can only sweet when they are sleeping,” Penelope says, rolling her eyes and putting her coat on. It’s more of a cape in a spectacular plum purple color with cream colored faux fur trim.

“Don’t act so surprised, mi amor, look who their mother is,” Luke says, cheekily. He hugs Spencer and Y/N before grabbing Garcia’s hand with his empty one.

“Happy New Year!” Garcia and Luke call as they leave, shutting the door behind them. Spencer locks the door and heads back to the kitchen to help Y/N clean up. The plates sit in the sink piled high, with tall champagne glasses resting next to them on the counter. Glitter scatters on the floor, confetti in the shapes of “1s” and “6” lay littered on the tiles, remnants of the festivities just moments before.

Y/N stands over the sink, her hand rests on the ledge. She turns on the water and starts washing the dishes. Spencer walks up quietly behind her, nuzzling his hand into the corner of her ear and shoulder. He hums, the vibrations echoing into Y/N’s neck, causing her to giggle. He joins his hands together around Y/N’s waist, holding her tight.

“Happy New Year, my love,” Spencer whispers, his voice hardly audible above the stream of water. Even though Spencer can’t see Y/N, he can feel the way her cheeks grow against the side of his head. She’s smiling.

“It is a very happy, new year,” Y/N says, her voice strong, yet Spencer can tell it’s hard for her to keep it together. It’s not their first new year, far from it, it’s their 13th. But this time, it feels different to hold her in his arms and kiss her as the clock strikes 12.

They wash the dishes in silence, a comforting silence where certain things don’t need to be said. Like a well oiled machine, Y/N washes, Spencer dries. The sudsy dish soap smells like home and Y/N’s quiet hums sound like peace. Spencer really forgot how much he could love even the most mundane of tasks when Y/N stands next to him.

“Come on, Y/N we can do this tomorrow. Let’s just go to bed,” Spencer says, tugging on Y/N’s long sleeve of her thermal shirt.

“Hmm, I can’t argue against your cuddles, sweetheart,” Y/N murmurs tiredly, easily pushing the thoughts of clean up to the next morning. Her hand joins his, like a key finding it’s matching lock. They are cold from the water, but Spencer doesn’t really mind.

A tangle of limbs and hands, they make their way up the stairs to their shared bedroom. They pass the wall filled with pictures of their smiling faces or candid countenances in mismatching frames hung against the wall. It’s just a testament to how long they’ve been together, going back to their first date right before Y/N’s college graduation and Spencer’s fifth, leading up to their most recent Halloween. Each photo stuck in time, frozen with utter happiness and unadulterated joy. But there’s a gap in the collection, a gap that Spencer rather not talk about. A gap where, for the first time since they met, Spencer and Y/N were separated. Sitting in jail, all Spencer could think of was the personal mental prison that Y/N must have confined herself too.

They don’t like talking about the gap, but he knows they have too. Spencer knows that Y/N is proud of him, she tells him that everyday. Proud of him for keeping up with therapy, proud of him for letting go of the little things that he can’t control, proud of him for trusting her with his secrets and fears. It’s the strangest thing, to have someone be proud of you for just living.

“We’re going to need a bigger wall,” Spencer says, hoping that his attempt at referencing pop culture would land. Y/N stops to turn to Spencer, who in the moonlight that drips in from the window, looks much younger than he really is.

“Did you just make a pop culture reference that’s not from, like, 300 years ago?” Y/N says, her brow upturned in a quizzical stare.

“Come on, Y/N, you love when I recite all Sir Walter Raleigh to you,” Spencer says, reaching up to tickle Y/N sides, causing her to giggle and run up the rest of the stairs.

“Spencer! You know that I’m too ticklish,” Y/N says in between short laughs and gasps for air. She plops down on the bed, dragging Spencer down with her. He lays his head down on her chest and like a Rube Goldberg machine, her fingers come up and tangle themselves in his hair.

“Maybe our New Year’s Resolution should be to get some more exercise, Spence. Your heart is beating faster than mine and that run from the steps to our room is like a good 10 feet,” Y/N jokes as she continues scratching Spencer’s scalp lulling him into a peaceful, sleepy state.

“Two things, baby, one, we don’t exercise and two, that’s not why my heart is beating so fast, I think it has something to do with the beautiful girl laying so close to me,” Spencer murmurs quietly.

“Hmm, you certainly know how to charm a girl, even like 13 years later,”

“Actually it’s, 13 years, 7 months, 17 days, 17 hours, 58 minutes and 31 seconds,” Spencer says with a quick glance at his watch.

“And I’ve loved every single minute of it,” Y/N says, reaching up to sneak a pillow under Spencer’s head. She moves to get out of bed, much to Spencer’s displeasure.

“No, no, Y/N you’re so warm and I’m freezing,” Spencer whines, shifting so he can look at his wife, who has shrugged off her thermal shirt and jeans.

“And who’s fault is that?” Y/N chides. Spencer, almost bashful at her teasing, attempts to hide his blush with the pillow that rests under his head.

“I only turn the heat all the way down at night so we’re forced to cuddle for body heat,” Spencer says, his voice muffled by the pillow.

“So you say,” Y/N tells Spencer, sitting down back on the bed. She pulls on Spencer’s legs, dragging him down the bed.

“Come on lazy boy, get your PJs on,” Y/N orders. Spencer, who under Penelope’s less than pure supervision, had enough shots to make up for all the college parties that he missed. There’s happy drunks, forgetful drunks, and then there're sleepy drunks.

Spencer stands in front of the mirror, inspecting his body. The low, yellow lamp light casts shadows on his naked torso. He’s filled out a little bit since they’ve started dating, especially within the last few months of Spencer’s healing. Y/N knew that it’s a sore spot for him, but there’s something about the way that Spencer’s dress pants sit tightly against his thighs or the way his shirt clings to his stomach that just makes him look so much older. Both of them, including their bodies, have changed so much since 13 years ago. Or 13 years, 7 months, 17 days, 18 hours, 5 minutes and 12 seconds ago. They’ve grown up together, and now Y/N can’t wait to grow old together.

But the look in his eyes is not pride over his growth or confidence over his physique. It’s confusion. Spencer stares at himself like he’s an unsolvable puzzle. Y/N knows he must hate that; Spencer hates things that he can’t find an answer to. Y/N walks up behind him, lacing her finger together so her arms clasp against his waist. For a moment, Spencer flinches. Even her gentlest touches and softest kisses can’t wash away the fear of much harsher contact. Their eyes meet in the mirror, but Y/N can feel that Spencer’s not looking at her. After all these years, she can still see the terrified young man who brazenly kissed her in her car in the middle of a rainstorm. After all these years, Spencer is still the only man she ever loved.

“Spencer,” Y/N says quietly. His name off her lips is more tender than any pet name in existence.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m being immature, it’s just,” Spencer closes his eyes, trying to focus himself in the present. It’s something that his therapist suggested. In moments of distress, find your anchor. Luckily for Spencer, his anchor has been his anchor for quite awhile.

“You can tell, I’m not going to judge you,” Y/N says, her lips leaving small kisses on his exposed shoulders.

“It’s just I thought this whole nightmare of prison was behind me. Therapy has been helping, I’m better on cases and I love teaching,” Spencer says, the pain in his voice leaking out.

Y/N doesn’t say anything, instead she guides Spencer to sit on the edge of their bed. She rubs her hand down his back, tracing his spine and around the freckles that collect on his right shoulder.

“I thought that the emotional healing would be the hardest part, I mean it is, but physically, I don’t recognize myself. I can imagine you don’t either,” Spencer says, he turns to lay on the bed, bringing his feet up to his chest in a textbook self-protective position.

“Spence, your body is gonna change, baby. God, mine has changed so much since we met,” Spencer gives Y/N a confused look, like he’s not thoroughly convinced by her explanation.

“It has Spencer. We’re not 22 years old anymore, we’re going to be like 35 in a couple of months. But you know, this is something we can work on together, I’ve gone my whole life not loving the skin I’m in. But being with you makes it easier, Spence.” Y/N says, running her fingers across the bridge of Spencer’s nose and down to his lips, that always a ridiculously gorgeous shade of pink. Spencer doesn’t say much, he’s still trapped deep inside his mind.

“I don’t know how you put up with me and all my antics, Y/N”

“You do my taxes every year,” Y/N jokes, making an effort to kiss every freckle and dipple on the expanse of Spencer’s back.

Spencer turns in the bed so he’s facing Y/N, he cups her face all the way from her ear to her jaw. It’s an intimate gesture that somehow is more loving and vulnerable than saying “I love you,”

“You know you make me fearless, Y/N,” Spencer tells her, not blinking because he doesn’t want to miss out on any more time looking into her eyes.

“You say that everyday Spencer Reid,” Y/N responds, letting herself melt into the touch. She grabs onto his wrist, physically telling him to not let go.

“I have a lot of days to make up for,” Spencer says, solemnly.

“It’s not making it up if it’s the rest of our life, Spencer. Besides, there’s no one I’d rather spend New Year’s Day cleaning up all those bottles with,”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Taglist** (Comment to be Added or Send in An Ask)

@calm-and-doctor @shemarmooresfedora

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[raguna-blade]

So i’ve had this floating in my head for a while and well...There’s going to be some obvious straightforward “That’s absolutely not what they intended, I can’t envision it as a thing cause I mean it’s that.”

But I wanna talk about the way the gacha mechanics reflect on the story of Arknights.

So here’s the thing. It’s all about trust. Literally it’s all about trust. One of the things that Arknights makes really clear in it’s story is that there is a very very real problem with people just taking things on faith and listening to each other. The big central conflict, as of now, with the issues between the infected and the non? All of it is based on a massive breach of trust because the infected to a man know that the uninfected are going to make their lives a living hell, even if they’re a model citizen. Hell even if they’re part of the big wig nobility upper class it’s basically a crapshoot if catching the in game plague is going to torpedo you to the depths of the pecking order and ruin your life or “merely” have you waste away from a degenerative disease that causes rocks to grow out of your skin, is horrifically painful, and can cause wild and terrifying super powers that can have you control temperatures wildly, suddenly start reading peoples minds, or create a horde of zombies (although admittedly these require training to use, let alone use in combat but it does seem true that the powers kinda work without it albeit probably much worse)

So trust is a big thing here obviously, and that leads me to the next point.

The Doctor is the sketchiest motherfucker I have ever seen in my life. They’re this mysterious person wrapped up in a coat that exposes exactly none of their body, they down sanity potions like water, they’re a super tactical genius the likes the world hasn’t seen, and also save for your scary Medicine Boss Lady and Their Adopted Kid (who runs your hospital knight order) nobody knows anything about them at all.

And the few people who DO know the doctor from the past seem keen to stay the hell away from him (excluding Boss Bunny, which actually considering what the Doctor was like right before their amnesia should PROBABLY be more concerning?)

And the last point before I start tying this all together, from all indications story wise? Any and all Operators that you choose to use are already there. They’re already working with or are a part of Rhodes Island proper. They’re in the background sure and they may not know the doctor personally but they are already there is the important thing.

Barring certain event characters tied to certain events they’re already part of Rhodes Island in some way.

Which leads me to my little gacha connection.

The Gacha here indicates a willingness to trust the Doctor (and perhaps if we’re gonna dive into this further, a broader connection and willingness to support RI’s cause, and an active display of trust because you know this dude is going to be sending you into a combat zone. In a story where people sometimes just hot die because sorry bro it’s a war story at least in part)

Now i’ll admit the specifics of the gacha don’t work for this perfectly because you’re calling back the same people sometimes which has weird implications (although I think you could chalk it up to doctor getting to better know people and how to pull the very best out of them if we wanna keep the story mechanic connection strong.) There’s only so much you can do with what is mechanically just rolling the dice a bunch...

Except...The Pity Mechanics have neat little implications too! There’s the Guaranteed 5/6 Star mechanic, as well as the guaranteed 6 star after I think it was 100 Rolls, as well as the Guaranteed Limited Character when you roll 300(???) times on their banner.

And Recruitment via the papers works here too.

One sec lemme order the thoughts a bit better

The Headhunting and Recruitment Rolls are, in universe terms, a character actively signing on to work with the Doctor Specifically, as well as signing on fully with Rhodes Islands objectives and ideals. It's not enough to have a business deal with them for treatment of you or your people. It's not enough to have a roof over your head. It's not enough to simply have another place to fight, or access to the person you want to fight.

You are trusting this mysterious no face no history manipulator to put you into combat situations with utter monsters and you're trusting them to either see you through it alive (which is a thing they're eeriely good at) or at least to have your death really tangibly mean something (also something in short supply on Terra). You're trusting this organization that simultaneously wants to heal the world of a horrifying disease, protect those who are infected, and also seemingly really make the world a better place (fat chance)

Not to mention the counseling the Doctor also seems to provide which you know...

That's absurd. It's insane.

And it's reflected in both Rarity Level, as well as the manner of recruitment.

Tag Recruitment pulls mostly from a pool of people already associated with Rhodes Island, with the vast majority being low level recruits. Basically all of 3* and below come from RI, and of 4* up only about half do.

That is to say, using the method that costs you the least amount of money and effort (Originium is, in universe, actually pretty valuable and useful if also you know the source of the plague) most of the people that you can actually recruit already sign on to RI's whole thing for one reason or another and everyone else is there for a variety of other reasons.

The people recruited are also generally unskilled, owing to largely being newbies or generally just not being super tough, but then this also plays into it.

RI is in general, or at least ideally anyway, a Hospital First and Military anything a distant second. Ideally, but it doesn't necessarily play out that way (or at least we as players don't get to see it, and there does seem to be a general work if you want treatment but the portrayal so far scales the work to what you can do. Kids gotta work too but for them it's like...Make some Origami, play and go to school and that's your work which could be sinister sure but seems mostly not)

But even accepting that conditions for infected are awful basically everywhere, leaving your home is a big ask, and fighting for people who may in fact end up fighting against your home is also a big ask. It's not something you're gonna see low level folks do by and by.

But the people recruitment DOES pick up who are those higher level folks? They're generally sent specifically to Rhodes Island if they didn't come specifically because they're some of the foremost scholars on the subject of Originium Infection and so on. A lot of them don't have a choice.

Understandably, no matter how skilled or powerful or conneted they are they're not gonna wanna work with you or put themselves in danger for no real reason

And then you have the cases of people who are or were leaders in their field, arguable or actual royalty, people who hold massive amounts of power who are just...Not going to trust like that. They're wise to the world, and they know what's up.

That they're also massively personally powerful is perhaps a side effect of being so high up in the ranks because when you have people who can and do hop out of planes for a snazzy entrance with no harm and at least 8 kinds of completely uninfected Juggernaut Nightmares not being absolutely shredded when you're the big leader of a place is a liability.

Which ok that tracks, but Headhunting? Headhunting is where you start finding people like Skadi who are just...Absolute freaks of nature being honest. You start seeing people who have even less reason to want to have anything to do with Rhode Islands, more guarded, more independent, less reason to be actively into RI despite being there (like Popukar who's a kid)

And then you have the limited pool characters like W and Nian who have ample reason to not want to deal with the Doctor or are just kinda bumming around and Could Help but don't want to (with secret implications to being basically a Kaiju)

And getting them is difficult and painful and nearly impossible because they don't WANT to interact with the Doctor or perhaps really want to put the effort in to do anything at all.

All of this I think is pretty sound so far. Generally speaking, higher ranked characters have less need or want to deal with the Doctor and the Larger Rhodes Island, in addition to be just being from other locations entirely.

What I think makes this more interesting though, and continues on the gacha story link is the pity mechanics.

So, going with the idea that recruitment is more or less deciding to interact with the weird person who tries to eat originium slugs(!?) it makes the decision of various high ranked operators deciding yeah you know what I'm going to go talk to this weirdo. A LOT of people seem to trust him and that's perhaps concerning, but also well...It's a lot of people. People I know (in all probability. Especially in the case of banner rolls where there's usually one or two people who know the high rank units), and even then there's some wild folks in there deciding to put their faith in them...And Heck I'm already here so why not.

And of course that feeds into the trust mechanics too mind you. The more a unit is used, the more the doctor is demonstrating their small extension of trust is proven a good decision. The Increasing potentials is understandable as the doctor coming to a greater understanding of the individual (indeed they're all tokens of trust in some way shape or form aren't they? Things that Mean something to the Operator, even if they're implied to be things that they hate to think about or be connected but still unfortunately mean something that they can't let go of). And or, for that matter, the Operator becoming more open around the Doctor. Becoming more willing to show their full strength, and honestly, playing on the trust angle, isn't it interesting that so many of the operators talents don't come into play until they've been upgraded once or even twice? But hey if we look at it through the lens of Do I trust this person, some of these talents suggest really impressive things which maybe you don't want this guy who you barely know but you're at least willing to work with to know just in case it doesn't work out. TO say nothing else of the fact that upgrades COST. It's a massive investment of money time and supplies to get an operator up there.

Which, to come back to gacha and the pity mechanics, for the two limited characters to call for (at maximum mind you. Luck as always is a factor but you know) truly EXCESSIVE amounts of rolls, and rolls that call for you burning a massive amount of supplies? It can read as, honestly, an attempt to reach out to this isolated person. Mind it's just an extension on the pity bit from before, but given the limited nature it could also be read as a “I am trying to get to know you please respond?”

And For Nian and W that may well mean something. It's a degree of effort that could read as interesting and or alarming given their respective personalities and histories.

But well..that's about as far as I can pull this I think. As always there's going to be an aspect of well “it's monetization don't think too hard about this it's for that cold hard cash” which is absolutely and unfortunately true. Still, I think it's interesting that it DOES line up as well as it does here. If it's intentional that's really cool actually but still.

[creepingsharia]

Most if not all leftists who fought in Syria have Marxist, Socialist, Communist & antifa Ideology

And now they have jihadi, combat training.

A fascinating thread on a topic we’ve touched on in the past regarding blm and antifa training with jihadis.

Daniel Baker, included in the final DHS report and referenced in the screen shot below, is the antifa terrorist arrested days ago for plotting to kill Trump supporters in Florida.

Source: https://  twitter.com/We_Have_Risen

So, DHS tracked these left wing militants who aligned with Islamic terrorists but continued to publicly say that right-wing, white Americans were the greatest threat to America. Report below.

The Syrian conflict and US based Antifa Nexus…

Earlier this year parts of a Department of Homeland Security (DHS) memo in conjunction with US Customs and Border Protection’s (CBP) National Targeting Center (NTC) Counter Network Division (CND) report was released. It goes into detail on individuals encountered upon return from Syria that actively fought alongside the Yekîneyên Parastina Gel (YPG) which translates to the People’s Protection Units.

These individuals were members of the International Freedom Battalion (IFB), an armed group consisting of leftist foreign freedom fighters fighting for the YPG in the Syrian civil war support of the Rojava Revolution against ISIS. Open source research shows that most if not all have connections to Marxist, Socialist, Communist and Anti-Fascist ideology.

We were able to identify the recruiting website that is no longer up. In most cases the question of “how does one even join a Syrian rebel group” was answered. The website was call rojavaplan.com (archive).

Now the majority of recruiting is done through the Lions of Rojava Facebook page. All of this is very real despite what you might hear on from Mainstream Media. There have been a multitude of advisories by State Department and other agencies warning US citizens against traveling to Syria to engage in armed conflict.

US STATE DEPARTMENT ON AMERICAN VOLUNTEER FIGHTERS IN SYRIA

“The U.S. government particularly warns private U.S. citizens against traveling to Syria to engage in armed conflict. U.S. citizens who undertake such activity face extreme personal risks, including kidnapping, injury, or death. The U.S. government does not support this activity, and our ability to provide consular assistance to individuals who are injured or kidnapped, or to the families of individuals who die in the conflict, is extremely limited. Individuals who demonstrate an interest in groups opposing ISIS, including on social media, could open themselves to being targeted by ISIS itself if those individuals travel to Syria.”

“Fighting on behalf of or providing other forms of support to designated terrorist organizations, including ISIS and al-Nusrah Front, can constitute the provision of material support for terrorism, which is a crime under U.S. law that can result in penalties including prison time and large fines.”

Source: The State Department’s Syria travel warning

Despite all that, there have been many who have traveled to take part in the civil war. One of the main members of the IFB is Brace Robert Belden from San Francisco.

He is a self-identified Marxist, member of the Democrat Socialists of America, specifically the local Marxist caucus Red Star, and was responsible for unionizing Anchor Brewing Company.

Belden spent 6 months in Raqqa to fight alongside the YPG under the umbrella of the Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF). Belden was assigned as a machine gunner on a makeshift tank for the Raqqa campaign.

Belden served alongside another American named Lucas Chapman.

Chapman decided to volunteer for the Kurdish YPG Militia in 2016. According to Chapman, really it was the YPG's ideology that pulled him in:

"It's part Anarchism, part Communism, part Socialism," he explains. "Everyone gets a voice. That's what appealed to me so much about it."

Today, he works for the North American Kurdish Alliance (NAKA), a 501(c)4 nonprofit that lobbies for Kurdish rights in the US. They also hold rallies and help the families of Americans who’ve died in Syria fighting ISIS.

Another person included in the DHS report is Caleb David Stevens from Michigan. He first came to the attention of US authorities after stumbling into Chicago area emergency room with a gunshot wound sustained in Syria.

"I was in a unit of other Westerners. We had a Western commander, and then, eventually during my time there, I was leading half of the unit. Sometimes our days were training, studying Kurdish, talking. There were a lot of militant anarchists. There were some people who were there specifically because of their feminist beliefs. So, yeah, sort of people coming from all angles." Caleb Stevens – March 13, 2018

Steven’s joined through the Lions of Rojava Facebook after seeing an article in Rolling Stone highlighting Belden’s time in Raqqa. The front man for the Lions of Raqqa is an American named Jordan Matson from Sturtevant, Wisconsin.

From the Lions of Rojava Facebook “Fight for an emerging model of Equality, Freedom, Democracy and Social Justice in Syria and the middle east!”

Another Lions of Rojava recruit named in the DHS report is Ian Paul Broadhead from Wilmington, North Carolina. Since returning he has been arrested multiple times during riots and protests. A known Antifa/381 Movement member, he was arrested as recently as August 17, 2020, trying to pull down the Silent Sam statue.

Broadhead has a Podcast named “The Final Straw Program” where, like others, the full Anti-Fascist/Marxist ideology is on full display.

Serving in the YGP with Broadhead was Christopher Joseph Helali originally from Worcester, Massachusetts.

Christopher Helali is an American ethnic Kurd and Kurdish activist who has worked for the past few years with the Kurdish Liberation Movement. Christopher spent 2016 in Greece, working with Kurdish refugees from Syria, Iraq, Turkey and Iran in Anarchist squats as well as in the historic Lavrio camp outside of Athens. In January of 2017, Christopher traveled to Southern Kurdistan (KRG) in Northern Iraq where he spent time with the guerrillas of the PKK in the mountains and then crossed over into Rojava (Western Kurdistan), now known as the Democratic Federation of Northern Syria. Christopher was a member of the YPG for 9 months and returned from the region in September of 2017.

Now living in Vershire, Helali a member of the The Party of Communists USA (PCUSA), is a candidate for Vermont's at-large congressional district in 2020. This is the first time in 36 years since Marxist activists Gus Hall and Angela Davis ran for U.S. President and Vice President respectively.

Christopher Helali of Vershire announced on Aug. 3 that he will run for Vermont U.S. Representative as a Communist.

We are continuing to compile and track these Mercenaries. There are many Westerners who have joined the YGP with numbers that range from 300 to 1,000. Not all have made it back home, and just like ISIS and other Jihadi’s, they are considered Martyrs of the Lions of Rojava Resistance.

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, April 12

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Brad Pitt Blindsided by Abuse Bombshell

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- former Vanderpump Rules hunk Jax Taylor hauling trash outside his L.A. home, tennis star Venus Williams had some courtside cuddles with her pet pup in Miami, sitcom star turned pot peddler Jim Belushi during a spin around Santa Monica

Page 3: Chrissy Metz runs errands in L.A., David Hasselhoff with his wife Hayley Roberts in Calabasas, Lena Headey buzzed around in L.A. on an electric bike

Page 4: Toxic TV talker Ellen DeGeneres is trapped in a tragic tailspin, belting back booze while struggling to get a grip on her fading career and rocky marriage -- after losing 1 million viewers this year alone, Ellen's once high-flying show is on thin ice and she's fighting with wife Portia de Rossi amid talks of a $300 million divorce -- her ratings are tanking, and her marriage is coming apart at the seams and she's knocking back the red wine to drown her sorrows -- her strategy is to let the storm about her talk show die down and then pull in some huge guest stars to win back her audience and reestablish herself as top dog on the talk show circuit -- at the same time, her 12-year marriage to Portia has been hanging by a thread and the two had been at loggerheads after serial house-flipper Ellen put the estate she bought from Maroon 5's Adam Levine on the market for $53.5 million and Portia thought it was finally going to be their forever home and it was like pulling the rug out from under her -- then another crisis struck home as Ellen rushed Portia to the hospital after she collapsed and Portia underwent an emergency appendectomy and is now recuperating but her spouse is a mess over Portia's health crisis and she's been drowning her sorrows in booze -- Ellen realizes much more than ever how much she desperately loves Portia and what she's got to lose if they split but she also knows it's be a lot of work to get the relationship back on track once Portia recovers

Page 5: Chevy Chase secretly cheated death after a secret heart condition landed him in the hospital for five long weeks and now he may never be out of the woods -- the 77-year-old, who is now recovering at his Westchester, N.Y. home, recently revealed the heart issue snuck up on him -- Chevy needed valve replacement surgery, and recovering boozer Chevy's long history of swilling alcohol had left him with an enlarged heart and acute cardiomyopathy, a disease that makes it harder for the organ to pump blood to the rest of his body and his heart problems stems from his years of drinking plain and simple and it's affected his heart, weakened it over the years -- however, before risky surgery could be performed, docs needed to make sure the comedian was stable enough for the procedure -- in 2017, Chevy claimed he'd finally gotten sober after one of his daughters said she gave up on him and his wife Jayni threatened to leave him if he didn't clean up his act but it may be too little too late for the comedy legend because valve replacement surgery could affect his activities for the rest of his life and it means his heart was pumping through an ineffective valve, and this damages heart muscles, which never grow back and he could have ongoing chest pains or dangerous heart rhythm disturbances, which could lead to heart attack or death

Page 6: Dr. Dre's estranged wife, Nicole Young, claims the rap mogul knocked her out cold in a drunken rage -- it's the latest bombshell in the couple's brutal divorce war, with Nicole making the explosive charge in an application for a restraining order that was denied by a judge and she also alleges Dre punched her squarely in the face after he felt she disrespected him at a party in 1999 and Nicole claims she woke up in their car with Andre speeding at over 100 miles per hour, drunk and out of control and he was swerving and weaving and she thought she was going to die and she also claims a drunk and angry Dre held a gun to her head during a 2012 dispute, saying she was terrified he was going to kill her -- Dre has denied all of Nicole's abuse claims

* In a desperate bid to save their crumbling romance, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are seeing a sex therapist to spice up their fizzling bedroom romps -- the duo called off their wedding plans after a stormy four-year affair and are on the brink of the end -- A-Rod staved off a break at the last minute by dashing down to the Dominican Republic, where J.Lo's filming her new flick and patching things up for the moment -- the biggest issue has been Alex's roving eye plus sexting various women on the side, and Jennifer wants to get to the bottom of why she's not enough for him

Page 7: Jeopardy! contestants want celeb medic Dr. Mehmet Oz axed as guest host -- casting the dubious doc celebrates the elevation of talking heads at the expense of academic rigor and consensus, according to a group of the game show's former winners and contestants in a letter -- the letter cites instances in which Dr. Oz used his authority as a doctor to push harmful ideas, and referred to a 2014 letter penned by faculty at Columbia Medical School, where Oz also teaches, calling for his removal from the program and the letter concludes inviting Oz to guest host is a slap in the face to all involved

Page 8: Jeffrey Epstein's accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell's third desperate bid to get out of jail on bail has been nixed by a federal judge -- the 59-year-old British socialite it rotting in a Brooklyn, N.Y. federal slammer denying charges she recruited underage girls to be sex slaves for her late lover Epstein, whose 2019 death in his jail cell is suspected on being a staged murder, despite an official ruling of suicide -- Maxwell's offer to plunk down $22.5 million and give up her citizenships in England and France was nixed by Judge Alison Nathan, who agreed with prosecutors the suspected Israeli intelligence asset was still a flight risk -- meanwhile, Ghislaine's lawyers claim she was abused by a guard and is losing hair and weight due to poor treatment in the slammer, where she's awaiting a July trail date

Page 9: Billionaire Queen Elizabeth is bracing for a big pay cut -- due to the financial crash triggered by the COVID pandemic, the Sovereign Grant, the tax money allowance the royals get, is expected to be slashed by more than 25 percent when it comes up for its five-year renewal in 2022 -- last year, Her Highness raked in $114.2 million from taxpayers, but that bundle was exceptional and cannot expect that to be repeated -- a major cost, besides allowances for the royal family, is a renovation of Buckingham Palace, which prices out at $500 million over 10 years -- one saving is Prince Harry and wife Meghan Markle have been stripped of their titles and public paychecks -- Her Majesty is aware of the current financial situation and is happy to play her part in cutting costs

* Prince Harry has landed a job as a hot-shot exec of a firm providing mental health and life counseling but it sounds like the tech start-up company is really using him as a celebrity showhorse -- Harry, who studied art and geography in college, will be Chief Impact Officer for BetterUp Inc, saying he intends to help create impact in people's lives -- BetterUp CEO Alexi Robichaux refused to say how much he's paying the prince, but noted Harry will have a meaningful and meaty role and will attend all employee meetings at the San Francisco headquarters and Robichaux also hinted at Harry's true value, saying he'll be a special guest at company events; in other words, the company will use him as a celebrity draw and they'll lure potential clients and investors to events by saying they can run shoulders with the prince and Harry has no psychology training; he will be a showpiece -- Harry first hooked up with BetterUp by using its app that gives proactive coaching and provides endless possibilities for personal development, increased awareness and an all-around better life and Harry says he was matched with his coach who is truly awesome and has always given him sound advice and a fresh perspective, which is so valuable

Page 10: Lisa Marie Presley is getting back on track after her son Benjamin Keough's tragic suicide and bitter divorce from Michael Lockwood, but she's still a hopeless addict -- Elvis Presley's 53-year-old daughter smokes like a chimney from morning until night and is struggling for every breath and she goes through a pack or two a day minimum and she simply can't quit and she has cut out triggers like booze and coffee, but she still needs her cigarette fix from the moment she wakes up until she puts her head down at night -- she was snapped having a smoke outside a COVID-19 testing center in L.A.'s San Fernando Valley and it was the only time she was spotted in public since her son died in July -- she started smoking at age 15 and has admitted this is the one thing that got her and bit her in the ass that she can't shake even those she's kicked pain pills, cocaine, booze and opioids and she's tried everything she can think of to quit: patches, nicotine gum, going cold turkey, but nothing works and she did stop for a spell after being hypnotized but a day or two later she was lighting up again -- she's losing weight, exercising more and eating healthier, but her smoking habit is the elephant in the room

Page 11: Following the heart-crushing suicide of her brother, Elvis Presley's granddaughter Riley Keough has become a death doula, a counselor who helps terminal patients and their cope with the devastating trauma -- Riley announced she'd completed her training on social media -- the daughter of Lisa Marie Presley and her first husband Danny Keough, Riley was devastated when her brother Benjamin Keough committed suicide with a shotgun last July -- spurred by the tragedy to become a death doula, Riley says she thinks it's so important to be educated on conscious dying and death the way we educate ourselves on birth and conscious birthing

* Reality TV train wreck Mama June Shannon claims she and her boyfriend Geno Doak spent $900,000 in a year to feed their drug addiction and the couple were spending $2500 a day, if not more, on methamphetamine -- June entered rehab with $1.75 in her pocket and they've been clean 14 months

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- reformed boozer Luann de Lesseps sips a soft drink in Mexico (picture), Real World star Rebecca Blasband believes she had an otherwordly 15-year beyond-the-grave relationship with Beatles legend John Lennon's ghost, in Australia a not so itsy bitsy spider bite turned into a giant wallop of a headache for Melissa McCarthy, Ilana Glazer and husband David Rooklin are happily expecting their first baby ironically right before of her horror movie False Positive, Sarah Silverman says no one ever told her not to use tongue in screen kisses and it got her fired from a show called Pride & Joy

Page 13: Al Pacino gets all gussied up in Italy to play fashion godfather Aldo in the biopic House of Gucci (picture), Justine Bateman (picture), Tom Selleck covers up his signature 'stache with a mask in L.A. (picture), first-time mama Katharine McPhee hit a sour note with composer husband David Foster for blabbing their newborn son's name Rennie David Foster on Today

Page 14: Rihanna plunked down $13.8 million for a new Beverly Hills mountaintop mansion that's literally surrounded by noteworthy neighbors like Paul McCartney and Mariah Carey and Madonna who live in the same exclusive star-studded cul-de-sac, Tom Cruise is on a mission to unload his Rocky Mountain getaway for $39.5 million, Goldie Hawn gushes her life partner Kurt Russell is still hot as heck after turning 70

* Fashion Verdict -- Miranda Lambert 4/10, Taylor Swift 5/10, Phoebe Bridgers 1/10, Giuliana Rancic 7/10, Brandi Carlile 6/10

Page 16: Cover Story -- Angelina Jolie is determined to paint her ex Brad Pitt as an abusive, drunken monster, and now she's got their kids backing her claim that he's the dad from hell -- the mom of six, who's been battling Brad in court over custody and money for five years, filed new bombshell papers saying she and her children want to testify their life was the pits -- while the documents are sealed, Angelina is making sure their kids paint Brad as violent and aggressive and her shocking charges continue earlier accusations by oldest child Maddox, now 19 and in college, who accused a booze-fueled Brad of abusing him on a private flight five years ago and Maddox essentially painted his dad as a demented monster and he went into detail about Brad's terrible temper, the abuse he inflicted on the whole household with his binge drinking and the scars that exist to this day because of the appalling way he alleges Brad treated his mom during the marriage -- Brad has reportedly been sober for years and Angelina's new claims of domestic abuse are basically a rehash of the old accusations -- legal experts also maintain the minor kids can only testify if Brad agrees to it, which is doubtful -- the superstars have spent a combined $10 million in legal fees and are currently battling over visitation rights for their brood and Angelina has refused to compromise, wants full custody and calls it a fight to the death and she doesn't care about Brad or how anybody sees their fight, she just wants what she feels she is entitled to as a mother and will fight with every inch of her body and soul to get it

Page 19: 10 Things You Don't Know About Topher Grace

* Katherine Heigl boasts she's bionic after having two titanium disks inserted into her neck and the actress says the surgery has freed her from the most excruciating pain

* Wendy Williams broke wind in a stunning fart-burp combo while she was live on camera, right in the middle to discussing Kim Kardashian's divorce from Kanye West -- the gassy lassie seemed surprised at her own outburst and apologized to the audience

Page 20: True Crime

Page 23: William Shatner is creating an artificial intelligence-powered version of himself -- in true sci-fi fashion, people in the future will be able to ask him questions about his life and times -- the 90-year-old icon is the first person to be captured by an advanced video and sound system developed by the L.A.-based company StoryFile -- Shatner says with StoryFile, we can now be present for the future; your authentic self, for all time

* Furious perfume mogul William Lauder is battling to kick his former mistress Taylor Stein and their 13-year-old love child out of her home and into the street, because their supposedly secret love affair was revealed -- the big stink exploded after the 60-year-old Estee Lauder heir learned his secret teen daughter wrote on social media that her parents were divorced but actually, Lauder never wed Taylor, but kept her like a queen in a $7 million, 6000-square-foot Bel Air mansion with a $1 million annual allowance for years and the only condition was that she keep their affair and the child under wraps, but the Park Avenue playboy claims she blasted their pact to smithereens when his illicit daughter blabbed about the relationship online -- Lauder hooked up with Taylor in Aspen in 2000 while still wed to wife Karen, mom of three of his daughters -- he knocked Taylor up in 2005, but told her to get an abortion because he was then in the midst of divorcing Karen but three years before the 2009 divorce, Taylor got pregnant again and gave birth to their girl and that's when the moneybags lover boy drew up the hush-hush deal

Page 24: COVID vaccines hidden dangers -- scientists warn shots don't work and have nightmare side effects

Page 27: Gal rock roadie Tana Douglas is snitching on music superstars including George Harrison and Iggy Pop, who she got close to during her wild years traveling with bands -- in her book called Loud, she recalls her job hauling equipment for bands nearly ended at age 21 when Beatle George Harrison was ready to propose, but she blew it; the two were getting close under a kitchen table after George fled his own birthday party, where he was embarrassed by his present: strippers and she ruined the mood by firing up a cigarette and George told her he would marry her tomorrow if she gave up smoking but the first female rock roadie couldn't kick butts -- she has crazy stories about saving AC/DC's frontman Bon Scott when he overdosed, Elton John who did drugs and threw tantrums, The Go-Gos, and doing a line of coke with Iggy Pop intended for David Bowie

Page 28: Health Report

Page 30: Julianne Hough has plumped up her kisser, and her new look falls flat -- the newly single star may have gone overboard with lip fillers to the point where she's almost unrecognizable -- Julianne's had some surgical and nonsurgical things done, but her lips just look wonky and no one can understand why she'd do it because her lips looked fine to her friends and family, but Julianne obviously thought they needed more volume and clearly got carried away -- she's also totally gone overboard with the spray tanning and hair extensions and she ditched the short blond bob that suited her so well and now she's looking like a Kardashian -- her lips look a bit swollen, so it's possible they will settle down and her natural lip proportions appear to have changed, with her upper lip the same size as her lower lip

Page 32: Tori Spelling has got the marriage blues and she's been out and about without her wedding ring -- the 47-year-old mom of five was spotted buying veggies at Underwood Family Farms in California's Moorpark with her kids but minus husband Dean McDermott and her wedding ring -- Tori's fed up with her mate, whining he's not doing his share around the house or paying her enough attention and they've found themselves in a real rut where they spend less and less time together and barely mention one another on social media and they haven't had a date night since goodness knows and Dean is never in the romantic mood and lately, they're more like brother and sister than husband and wife -- Tori wants Dean to step it up and start acting like a hubby instead of a leach and Tori's exhausting herself by taking care of the domestic chores single-handedly at times while Dean has other things on his mind and he hasn't picked up a vacuum or washed the dishes in weeks and sometimes he doesn't seem to be aware she's in the room and it's frustrating her to no end -- ditching her ring is sending Dean a very clear message that he needs to stop taking her for granted and work on the marriage

* Paul McCartney dove deep into his Beatles past and emerged with a children's book inspired by the group's 1966 hit Yellow Submarine -- Grandude's Green Submarine, a sequel to Paul's picture book Hey Grandude, will be released in September and changes the color of the submerged vessel

Page 36: Reality TV momager Kris Jenner is worth an estimated $190 million and masterminded the megabucks careers of her reality star daughters, but she confesses she was clueless about dough when she became divorced -- Kris confesses first husband Robert Kardashian handled everything and she never paid a bill during their 13-year marriage that ended in 1991 -- she said she woke up to responsibilities that she didn't have the day before but she says she's a quick study and she knew she had to get it together and she felt such an enormous sense of accomplishment to be able to figure it all out and pay her own bills and make her own money and do her own taxes and there were times when she didn't have a lot of money, but she was very organized -- now she studies business for new opportunities and she's interested in different businesses and how they evolve and how they become successful and she just enjoys the business world

* Bobby Brown's son Bobby Jr. died after accidentally overdosing on a killer cocktail of alcohol, cocaine and fentanyl, his autopsy reveals, but lawmen say they are now opening a criminal investigation into the 27-year-old's death at his father's home in suburban L.A. -- the autopsy report showed in his final hours Bobby Jr. consumed a deadly mix of tequila, cocaine and the prescription medication Percocet -- he was Brown's second child with former galpal Kim Ward

Page 38: Long-lost letters written by Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler's father, Alois, reveal the freaky Fuhrer grew up to be a cruel, tyrannical, arrogant lout, just like his old man -- the 31 letters were discovered by retiree Anneliese Smigielski in the attic of her house in the Austrian town of Wallern and are the basis of a new book by historian Roman Sandgruber -- penned to Anneliese's great-great-great-grandfather Joseph Radlegger, who sold retired customs official Alois a farm when future Nazi monster Adolf was six in 1895, the letters reveal Hitler's dad was a brutal boozer and boss of the house, but depended on the skills and money of his third wife, Klara, a former servant girl the cheating creep had seduced and wine-guzzling Alois was awfully rough with her and beat little Adolf and the other eight kids -- like his father, Adolf felt superior through the knowledge he had acquired in self-study and he saw himself as a military, technical and artistic genius, not only as a painter, but also as an architect, writer, composer and actor

Page 40: Bethenny Frankel is sporting an engagement ring from fiance Paul Bernon -- the three-stone ring features a huge eight- to ten-carat emerald-shaped center stone and if it's a real, natural diamond, its estimated value is up to $1 million

* Gwyneth Paltrow just babbled something her second husband, Brad Falchuk, probably doesn't want to hear: she never wanted to get divorced from Chris Martin but she wed Brad in 2018 and Gwyneth calls him the most amazing man adding they've built something that she's never had before

* Suzanne Somers brags she and husband Alan Hamel are having sizzling sex three times a day before noon -- she blames doses of hormones for their frisky urges in their golden years

* Klutzy comic Chelsea Handler jokes about her subpar skiing skills online, but later revealed she wrecked her knee and broke two toes after she flew into the trees on a snowy slope in Canada -- Chelsea confesses she took the terrible tumble in British Columbia, where she was training with a personal instructor

Page 41: Vin Diesel's son Vincent is learning it's a good career move to have a movie star dad -- the 10-year-old has landed a $1000-a-day role in his father's new Fast and Furious flick -- the kid plays the younger version of Vin's character Dominic Toretto in the already completed, ninth F&F film -- Vincent's mom is Vin's longtime galpal, Mexican model Paloma Jimenez, who also has two daughters with Vin -- unlike his dad's megabucks salary, Vincent got the basic $1005 daily rate

* The faith-based Duggar family of 19 Kids and Counting fame is still feuding after a sleazy sex scandal ripped them apart -- Jill Duggar Dillard, who's outed herself as one of four sisters molested by big brother Josh Duggar, reveals she hasn't visited her parents' home in years -- Jill and husband Derick Dillard, say they aren't allowed at Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's Big House without her father's permission and Jill reveals there's some restrictions but also they just feel like they have to prioritize their mental and emotional health -- TLC axed the family's show after Josh was exposed as a child molester and in the past, Jill's admitted she's not on the best terms with some of her family

Page 42: Kim Kardashian has been getting back in touch with her body big-time now that she has booted Kanye West from her bedroom and her life and she's been strolling around totally nude -- with the pair's six-year marriage officially kaput, Kim is gleefully letting it all hang out, while indulging in once-forbidden McDonald's french fries -- Kanye made a habit of telling Kim to cover up and picked her to pieces for wearing sexy outfits and he said she needed to class up her act and grow old gracefully but now she's free to express herself and a lot of the time, especially when Kanye's looking after the kids, she's walking around totally in the nude and it's liberating for her to be at one with her body and she's made no secret of her desire to pursue a racy image and right now Kim's priority is to get her mojo back and learn to love herself again physically

* Britney Spears confesses she's been so wrapped up in battling the conservatorship over her estate, she forgot about singing until her mom reminded her -- the singer hasn't cut an album for five years as she's battled dad Jamie Spears for control of her $60 million fortune after a court gave him control when she went bonkers in 2008 -- she now realizes she's neglected her career after mom Lynne Spears sent her a video of her signing You Got It All at a '90s concert in Singapore and Britney tweeted that her mom reminded her that she can sing and she never sings anymore

Page 44: Straight Talk -- Cradle-robbing Scott Disick has struck again, scooping up a new galpal half of his 37 years, who is barely out of high school -- the latest victim is Amelia Hamlin, 19 years old and daughter of Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin

Page 45: Sharon Osbourne is demanding at least $10 million to walk away from The Talk after being accused of racist and sexist attacks on co-hosts -- Sharon is playing hardball, saying she was wrongly vilified for branding lesbian co-star Sara Gilbert a fish eater and calling Chinese-American Julie Chen slanty eyes -- it's going to become a battle royale and Sharon's made her demands clear and will fight tooth and nail and she's a street fighter and is used to playing down and dirty, owing to her years as a hard-nosed rock manager for husband Ozzy Osbourne

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen X’s Gacha Rules for a ‘Good’ Gacha Game (Featuring Arknights)

Hey look, that Arknights essay came quicker than I thought.

Continuing on my goal of finishing up all my years-old drafts by the end of February, I think it’s pretty damn convenient that I glanced over this half-finished opinion piece just in time for the next limited banner for Arknight’s CN server to be announced. This is a topic I’ve been wanting to cover for awhile now. If there was anything that was a decent marker for Allen X’s gaming experience these past 4-ish years it was the fact that he got real into Gacha Games. I’ve dipped my toe into quite a few different Gacha phone games over the years. AFK Arena, Granblue Fantasy, Girls Frontline, and even an Ikkitousen gacha game at one point. And of course Arknights, which is my current main gacha game at the moment.  

Honestly, the only thing I didn’t play was Fate/Grand Order, and for damn good reason, but one thing at a time.

Anyway, with all that time I spent playing these games I’ve slowly given myself a ruleset and mindset for how I handle these gacha games. And I figured I’d talk about how I go about playing some of them, some of the experiences I’ve gained, and what I look into when it comes to the money portion of playing a ‘free-to-play’ game. I’ll mostly be talking about Arknights since it’s the main gacha game I’ve been playing for the past year and I don’t play two of these at once for damn good reason. 

So, with that all said, let’s start off with... 

Point 1: Methods of Ten-Pulls

For those new, the typical loop for most gacha games is to roll for rare characters and use them to complete segments of the game, whether for their looks, stats, or playstyle (but mostly looks). The characters themselves are usually drawn in an attractive and appealing way, along with having abilities and statistics that are desirable from a gameplay perspective, at least those of a higher rarity. The more you pull and buy into the gacha, the higher the chance you get for a rare character. Some games have deals where you pull can pull for free with some in-game resource like Girls Frontline, and more commonly the game encourages you to pull 10 at a time to increase your chances. 

For any good gacha game, I feel you should be able to pull for free at a fair rate. That varies a lot depending the game mechanics at play, how the game handles duplicate pulls, the rarity rate of gacha pulls, and so on, but in general if you can pull 10 times every two weeks I’ll consider the game fair, at least on that front. 

Arknights is actually a pretty good example of this. Headhunting aside, you can pull 4 times a day using in-game resources in the recruitment section of the menu, but those pulls tend to be a lot more common and not viable in the endgame like some of the ones you get in headhunting. And even without the recruitment section you can usually ten-pull about twice a month if you do the daily and weekly missions plus the weekly Annihilation missions. When I first discussed Arknights in this regard I had some confusion about how Annihilation worked and assumed it reset monthly. I apologize if I misled people with that statement. 

Anyway, by doing all the activities and missions that give you Orundum, the gacha currency, you should be able to collection about 10,000 Orundum every month, which is one guaranteed ten-pull a month. This is a little under what I would had preferred for Arknights and there’s a good chance I’m missing a free source of Orundum somewhere (and I’m rounding down to play it safe), but... it’s fair enough. 

But onto my second point.

Point 2: Premium Currency in Relation to Real-World Currency.

In short, I should have a clear idea how much it cost to pull a character if I was going to whale. Typically, in most gacha games you can purchase a premium currency in order to pull characters with real world money. The amount can vary from game to game, but there should be a clear idea of how much it cost to pull for a character. 

As a free-to-play game, most gacha games do need some kind of reliable income. Let’s be real here, this game doesn’t run on happiness and sunshine and I don’t mind giving money to products I want to see succeed and continue, but if it takes 20 bucks to ten-pull I’m going to find that ridiculous unless the gacha rate is in highly my favor.

Arknights uses Originium Prime as it’s premium currency, an item that can be transferred into 180 Orundum per unit. One Originium Prime costs one dollar. You need about 33 Originium Prime to get the 6,000 Orundum needed to pull ten times, or a little over 3 Originium Prime to pull once using 600 Orundum. This means on average it costs around $33 to pull on command.

This is absurd for a tower defense game.

Now, Originium Prime does a lot more than let you engage with the gacha, but the brass tacks of this is that for every ten-pull you do you could just as easily get 3 games off a Steam sale, maybe more. I also think I should note that Arknight’s store lets you buy 40 Originium Prime for $30 as a bundle, cutting that cost to about 75 cents per Originium Prime. There’s also an option for 66 Originium Prime for $50, but that for just a little over 75 cents per Originium Prime if my math is correct. Either way, Arknights is asking for quite the price to engage in one of its main mechanics. 

And yes, you can gain Originium Prime in game by perfect-clearing stages and clearing the challenge modes, but there’s a finite a moment of those stages and events maps are pretty scarce in Arknights, coming around once every two-ish months with about 15-20 chances for Originium Prime. As a casual player this is... fine, but for folks that rush the endgame this is... a tad much. 

Now, I’m a casual player. I don’t rush to the latest content and I don’t try and min-max a gacha game of all things. As much I mostly just buy a monthly pack that grants me about 300 Orundum for free daily for 30 days and 6 Originium Prime upon purchase. This makes the grind a little easier and it’s a cheap way to show monetary support to the development team. However, I do recognize there are people that do these min-max and rush content and my opinion of these folks aside I think those folks probably spend the most money as well, undeservedly so. But this is more a discussion of the individual person and not the gacha community as a whole.

So... moving on...

Point 3: Late Game Viability as a Free-to-Play

To me, it should never feel like you need the gacha to finish the game or get to the endgame content. For a free to play game, you should be able to at least finish the initial pre-update content without needing to try and a pull a rare character to get you through a hard segment of the game. Events and Post-Launch stuff have a bit of wiggle room, but overall I don’t think you should need a team of the rarest characters to just beat the game, at least not a meta-team. That doesn’t mean the desire to pull can’t be there, but at least for the launch-content, you should be able to finish it out as a free-to-play player. Thankfully, most games (most good games) will give you a pretty decent team to work with if you truly have bad luck with rolls. Girls Frontline is a good example of this.

Arknights... isn’t as generous as I���d like it to be.

In Arknights, by the end of Chapter 4, with limited engagement of the Gacha, you’ll have handful of 4-Stars that can be leveled to the late game with decent stats, Amiya, and an assortment of 3 stars that can technically get you through those first four chapters if used and placed wisely. But some four stars like Gavial, Courier, and Dur-nar are time-limited if I remember correctly, so as of me typing this there’s no reliable way to get some of those characters.

Meanwhile, in Girls Frontline you got most of team Anti-Rain by the mid-game pre-updates, a group of 4-star guns that had already great utility and with half of their members being in the meta of the pre-update endgame content, and are still viable to this day if I remember correctly. 

This is a major point of contention I have with Arknights. I think they’re fairer than most gacha games, but I’ll admit they don’t like giving handouts, not as many as I’d prefer anyway. Even the stingy AFK Arena gave you more stuff after maintenance updates and the like, and I hate the fact that I complimented AFK Arena on anything.

But onto my last point.

Point 4: 5-Star/SSR Rates Must be Around 4% or Higher.

This is the main reason I’ll never touch F/GO (along with other reasons). Every gacha game should, statistically, guarantee a five-star/SSR/highest-tier rarity after 30 pulls. Any more than that and you’re playing with a rigged slot machine by my standards. Like I said, the main goal of most gacha games is to get you pulling for these are fancily drawn jpegs and pngs, and while those characters technically have gameplay function and even limited animation in certain non-gameplay settings, they’re still pictures nonetheless. And if I have to dip more than 30 times to get something good then what’s the point.

Again, using Arknights, their 5-Stars are at a rather generous 8%, but their 6-Stars being at a tad crueler 2%. By all accounts, I shouldn’t be touching Arknights because of this, but due to the nature of how busted Six-Stars are and a few other details like base functions, potential levels, and some other factors in Arknights gameplay, I let this slide for the moment.

Regardless, I shouldn’t take more than 20 pulls to get a highly rated unit of some sort. The details of the specific unit can be discussed at a later date, but my point remains.

Also, any gacha game that mixes accessories and characters in the same pull pool is equally unplayable. Characters have utility and gameplay functions that can be used for multiple strategies and methods, along with out-of-game benefits ala the base mechanics of Arknights depending on the game. Accessories and items are stat buffs in game where grinding levels is already purposely tedious. Anything making that act more of a hinderance is honestly trying to rob you blind and should be avoided like the plague.

Now... one more thing to talk about. 

About Arknights Specifically

You know... between me bitching about Chapter 7, bitching about Chapter 6, bitching about 7-18, and bitching about Code of Brawl I get the feeling you all think I hate Arknights. 

Trust me, I only whine and moan because I love this game and the people who made it, I wouldn’t waste my breath or keystrokes otherwise. 

That said, I would like to see some things change about Arknights on a foundational level. I’ll try and keep this short, but no promises.

Endgame Team for Free

This is the team you have to work with for 6-7 because of story reasons and I think this team should gained for free to by the end of chapter 6, everyone in this squad should be in your rooster by the end. Even Blaze, her kit is good, but not as busted as Silverash so she wouldn’t shatter the game’s difficulty. This team overall is very well balanced for end game content and has all the essentials to get through it. E2 medics and guards, cheap vanguards and defenders for last minute placements to stall, a good sniper that can do solid burst damage, some specialists just in case you need to manipulate enemy movement and path detection. I believe you can get Rope, FEater, and Myrrh free, but Blaze and Greythroat for reliable lategame damage feels like a must. And I see nothing wrong with giving out those two for free anyway, especially for what was near endgame content at the time and how pivotal Blaze and Greythroat were to the storyline of Chapter 6. And yes I feel the same way about Rosmontis in Chapter 7 too. She’s actually a pretty niche unit and a 6-Star that’s expensive to upgrade, just having her in your pocket wouldn’t shatter the game like it would be if you gave us, again, Silverash.

Gacha Rates

I think arguing for cheaper prices with the Originium Prime is a fools errand because corporations will never listen, but I’ll at least say this. The rules of the gacha that followed the WWE Banner should be for all future banner. You should get a banner-specific currency that lets you outright buy the rare units on said banner if you have bad enough luck. You needed to pull 300 times to get W or Weedy and about 50 times to get  Elysium. I feel like both of these should be cut in half. Going by the math I previously did counting that requirement in half would mean only doing 15 ten-pulls, about 495 Originium Prime (89,100 Orundum) or a little over $370 for a limited operator.

This is still absurd for a tower defense game, but it is a far more fair than the original system.

Other Small Quality of Life Changes

A quick pull for recruitment operators so we don’t have to see the bag animation 4 times over. Girls Frontline had something similar by the time I left and it was all the better for it. 

A similar form of auto-play to Girls Frontline where you can send in one of your 4 squads to auto play a map off screen a number of times and come back later when they’re down for materials at the cost of extra sanity. 

Have a Orundum be a log-in reward. Again, something Girls Frontline did and I think coughing out 1,000 Orundum once a week wouldn’t kill anyone.

Buff Amiya goddammit. Either remove/shorten the stun on her S2 to make her have reliable (if random) magical burst damage or remove the instant retreat on her S3 so she can become a hard-hitting damage unit at the cost of a high SP cost and cooldown timer. Don’t give major drawbacks to your only non-event free 5-Star when Silverash exists. When Click and Haze has more viability than your main character you have a problem.

Anyway, that’ll be it for me. Next time... I talk about something that isn’t me bitching.