'When', not 'if'
("I'm not a romantic" I cry and scream before dropping the most sickening thing i've written to date. Blame @stunie because i did tell her i would write the most ume thing ever and maybe this is it. The title in my docs for it is 'Fucking disgusting' but i figured i better not title it that here because I'd be seeing it in my notifs lmaoo)
SFW/no cw unless you hate fluff
When you wake up from your nap, one of your slippers is gone, and there's a blanket on you that wasn't there prior. Looking at the clock, it's been about an hour since everyone had left your apartment once your birthday party ended. The day as a whole had been chaotic, your boyfriend shoving you out the door with a note to go see Kotoha.
The note took you farther than that, though, as it seemed Umemiya created a whole scavenger hunt for your birthday that had you running into all of your friends, having dessert at your favorite cafe, and eventually ending up at your shared apartment to find that all that time spent around town was a distraction so that he could set up the space for your party. After it had ended, you were banished to the couch because princesses aren't allowed to help clean up their own birthday parties, which had you huffing and falling face down into the chicken shaped pillow affectionately called Mr.Clucky.
It was a product of your boyfriend's endless cycle of hobbies when he took up sewing. A little lopsided and overfilled with stuffing, you complained to and into Mr.Clucky with your face pressed into him. Apparently, he was soft enough to fall asleep on because before you knew it, you had been drooling on him the entire hour. Prying yourself off the couch took more effort than was almost worth it before your eyes fell on the reason you were so tired to begin with.
Hajime smiles and hums looking at your bleary eyes. "Good morning sunshine, I was just about to take you to bed," he says, folding a dish towel over a chair. You toss off the blanket and grab on the slipper that fell under the living room table before padding up to him. Dipping your hands under both of his arms to lock them together behind him, now your face is in his chest instead of the chicken, which is entirely preferred.
"Don't wanna go to bed just yet," you muffle, sinking even deeper into him when both of his arms wrap around you in support. He smells like dish soap and birthday cake, and you turn your head to hear the heartbeat in his chest.
"What do you wanna do lovey? You know I'd give you the world if you asked," you can hear the rumble of his voice in his chest with your pressed ear. He's cheesy, but half asleep, you feel just as much, if not cheesier.
"I have the world if I have you, they're one in the same. So just you is more than fine." Your eyes are closed, but you feel him shiver a little. "I wanna dance with you, though," you say, voice still soft and kinda raspy from sleep.
"Dunno if I can top what you just said even when I propose," he chokes out a laugh, or at least you think it's one. He shifts his hold a bit and starts leading you both in a lazy sway that starts near the toaster and ends next to the potted plant at the back door before starting over.
"When? Not if?" You tease him, a hand going to scratch the nape of his neck lightly.
"I'll never meet another you, so I'm pretty set on When."
"I'll say yes." Because you will. You can't imagine a life where you wouldn't.
"And I'll still cry when you do." You can tell he's crying now because it comes out shaky and his hold tightens a bit, before you lean back, stopping your impromptu waltz. Both of your hands come up to cup his face and look at his teary grey eyes before cooing at him.
"You big baby! Save those tears for When please. You'll be congested and sniffley all night if you don't stop." You start cleaning off his face with your sleeve, but he stops one of your hands and starts peppering your palm and wrist with small kisses. "I think I'm ready for bed now. Princess's orders," you say, dragging him towards your bedroom. You'll have to figure out tomorrow just how soon When is going to be, but for now you can hear the slow thumps of Hajime's steps as he follows behind you, squeezing your connected hand. It's not pressing in the least, you think, because it feels like there will be plenty of tomorrows too.
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When you wake up in the morning, it takes you an hour to realize Hajime had put the ring on your finger while you were asleep.
It takes you five minutes to run through town in your pajamas, barefoot to find and full on tackle him in front of the place he was about to get your breakfast in.
And it takes about two minutes of unintelligible blubbering on both your parts before anyone understands what is going on.
No one timed it, but if they did, it would've taken less than ten minutes for the whole town to find out via texts, calls, and yells down the streets and through windows that you're engaged.
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"you dangle on the leash of your own longing, your need grows teeth." -- Margaret Atwood, The Animals in That Country; from ‘Speeches for Dr Frankenstein’
cw: wounds, implied violence, talk of blood, uhh me being mushy over werewolf Joseph, gender-neutral reader
The fire crackled softly, its glow spilling over the cabin walls, painting the room in hues of amber and shadow. Flecks of light flicked across the worn wooden beams, dancing along the edges where the dark gathered. He sat still, nestled in the warmth, the flames reflecting in the depths of his eyes. His pointed ears twitched at the occasional crack of the embers, but otherwise, he remained motionless—watchful, calm.
You approached from the doorway, your steps shifting against the creaking floorboards. Kneeling beside him, you set down the first aid kit, its zipper cutting through the stillness of the room.
His gaze shifted, tracking your hands as you laid out gauze and bandages with routined care. The faintest of huffs escaped his nose, his version of acknowledgment, as he extended his arm toward you. No words exchanged. There never were.
"Let’s get these changed," you murmured, your voice barely disturbing the air between you.
You took his arm in your hands, feeling the heat of his skin beneath your fingertips, the rough texture of old scars mingling with fresh ones. The bandage unraveled slowly, each layer revealing the healing beneath. A faint tremor passed through him, so subtle you might have missed it if you hadn’t been so close.
As you worked, the fire’s glow bathed the two of you in warmth. He watched, eyes flicking between the fire and the slow movements of your fingers as they worked the fresh bandages into place.
It was routine now. He’d sit by the fire, you’d kneel beside him, tending to wounds that spoke of violence he never explained. You didn’t ask. Instead, you learned to listen to the small cues—the soft exhale, the shift of his posture, the way his eyes lingered on you before returning to the flames.
The old bandage crumpled in your palm as you set it aside, your thumb ghosting over the newly healed skin. The worst of the inflammation had faded, the edges of the wound knitting together. You took a moment, letting the quiet settle around you again before speaking.
"It’s healing well," you said, the words softer than you intended.
A low rumble stirred in his chest, vibrating through the space between you. His eyes flicked up, locking with yours for a heartbeat, then returned to the fire. You couldn’t help but smile.
"You’ve been a good patient," you added, your fingers resuming their work.
He didn’t answer, but the subtle way his body relaxed beneath your touch was enough.
The bandages on his arms were easy, but the deep gash in his side—still raw, still stubborn in its refusal to heal—was the one that troubled you most. You didn’t know what had caused these wounds, nor did he offer any explanation. His body bore the marks of bloodshed long fought and endured. Scars layered on scars, and yet, here he was.
You worked carefully, your fingers brushing over his side as you unraveled the last of the bandage. His breath hitched, just barely, but you felt it—a flicker of discomfort. The gash along his torso, though healing, was still raw, angry. You winced for him but kept your focus, your hands steady as you cleaned the wound with gentle, practiced movements.
He didn’t pull away, but his gaze slid to the floor, a subtle shift that made your stomach knot. It was in these moments, the ones where the silence between you felt more like a weight than a comfort, that you wished he’d let you in just a little more. But he never did.
“Almost done,” you whispered, though he didn’t need the reassurance. You weren't sure if it was for him or for yourself.
His chest rose and fell with a slow, deliberate rhythm, as if controlling the pain through breath alone. The firelight cast shadows across his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw, the curve of his lips pressed into a thin line. His pointed ears twitched again, though you couldn’t read it yet—frustration? Agony?
You wrapped the fresh bandage around his torso, your hands brushing against his skin with each pass. He didn’t flinch, didn’t react, though his body seemed to relax minutely with each passing moment.
You tied off the bandage, your fingers lingering for just a moment too long, the warmth of his body seeping into your palms. You cleared your throat, pulling your hands away, suddenly aware of the closeness between you.
“There,” you said softly, settling back onto your heels, giving him space again. "All done."
For a long moment, he didn’t move. His eyes, dark and unreadable, lingered on yours. Something hung in the air—like words he wasn’t ready to speak. You waited, your breath held tight in your chest, hoping for some sign, some crack in the silence.
Instead, he dipped his head in a slow, deliberate nod. It wasn’t much, but it was something. The quiet between you felt different now—less heavy.
You stood, the old bandages clutched in your hand, and moved to toss them into the fire. The flames licked at the fabric, devouring it in seconds, casting the scent of smoke into the air. You watched the embers rise, your back to him, trying to ignore the way your pulse quickened, how the room felt smaller when you were both in it.
Behind you, you heard the softest shift of fabric, the weight of him rising to his feet. You turned just in time to see him step closer to the fire, his gaze fixed on the flames, expression unreadable. He stood just beside you, the space between you barely enough to call distance.
It wasn’t much, but it was something.
Without a word, he reached for a log by the hearth and placed it on the fire. The flames roared briefly before settling into their steady crackle, the warmth spreading further through the cabin.
You stood there, side by side, staring into the fire.
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Theater is
Theater is a kid, trying to figure out what clubs to do in second grade, knowing that they've seen musicals and plays before and loved watching them and seeing drama club on the list
Theater is
Audition
Casting
Rehearsal
Theater is the kid, old enough to sing in the musical, memorizing their lines and others, loving every second of being onstage
Theater is
Memorization
Blocking
Choreography
Theater is the kid, now in middle school, deciding to do the theater class since there is one at their school now, meeting the theater teacher, meeting new friends, being good at it, finally auditioning for their first actual musical
Theater is
Stage Fright
Friendship
Confidence
Theater is that kid getting the main role, doing theater again the next year, knowing so much about all of it and teaching the newer kids, painting set pieces with their friends, the friends that they now have because of theater
Theater is
Props
Costumes
Lights & Sound
Theater is the kid going into high school, leaving their middle school theater teacher and younger friends, so anxious about it but quickly finding their place in their theater class, volunteering at a drama fundraiser and meeting older theater kids there, learning their names and being able to make an impression
Theater is their first high school audition, for the fall play, multiple smaller plays directed by seniors, and having fun, getting cast in one of the biggest ones with the best directors they could've asked for, still anxious about being a good cast member but getting more confident again
Theater is rehearsals 3 times a week after school, the kid finding their footing in the cast, making friends with the older kids, being able to make suggestions or point things out that need fixing in the show
Theater is the kid being able to impress people, being able to memorize their lines, being able to be confident, being able to fix things, being able to say hi to their cast in the halls, at first just smiling at their director when they passed each other during passing period but then saying hi, even talking for a minute or two, the cast walking to the grocery store together at the start of a rehearsal for almost no reason, the kid being able to talk to their castmates, their friends, and not feel out of place, being excited for the bigger productions later in the year, not being worried about stage makeup because they know the older kids will be there, knowing that the older cast members and their directors will help them if they need it, knowing that they'll still be able to spend more time with them, knowing that they'll be so sad when the seniors graduate, but knowing that they still have almost all of the school year with them
Theater is
Belonging
Safety
Laughter
Freedom
Joking
Focusing
Acting
Acting, but with people that you trust. With people that even though you met them 2 months ago, that you know. You know their mannerisms, how they laugh, their sense of humor. You know that they're kind, you know that they care, you know that all of you love this. You all love this so, so much. You know that if you make a mistake on stage, that they'll improv and cover for you, and that you'd do the same for them. You know that no matter how anxious you are before the show, that they'll be someone with the same nerves and you can comfort each other.
And then the last show will end, and the audience will applaud. You will bow, with these people, these people that you may not have known a few months prior, but that so much trust has formed between. You've played improv games with these people, walked to the store with them, rehearsed over and over and over again with them, learned so much from them, taught and helped and been taught and helped, and it's over.
Until the next show, and the next, and the next year with more new freshmen, some of the kid's younger middle school friends now there too, until the year that the kid will direct their own show, as a senior, and try to be just as good a director as the ones they had their freshmen year.
And they will belong.
They will all belong.
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