#( alright in my universe this part of world is not called america... ah and many indigenous people also survived)

[arisu-alisa-alice]

𝓜𝔂 𝓰𝓸𝓵𝓭𝓮𝓷 𝓯𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻

[justreadingfics]

Best Gift Ever - an “It’s a Deal” one-shot

Summary: It’s almost time for your first Christmas with Bucky and he really wants you to open his present for you early.  

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 4.5k

Warnings: one-shot part of a complete series’ universe, smut, 18+, masturbation, use of sex toy, dirty talk, praise kink, the characters celebrate Christmas.

A/N: I miss these two too much, so here’s our first one-shot to see what they’re up to these days… and what they’re up to is a surprise to absolutely no one who knows them, lol. You can read it as a stand-alone story, but this is part of the universe of a series of mine (It’s a Deal). I have no words that can thank @callmeluna​, @addikted-2-dopamine​, @gogolucky13​ and @whisperlullaby​ enough for jumping right in to help me when I asked. You all rock. 

Masterlist on my description. 

 Even with your still half-asleep brain, it is hard to not let the lazy smile curl your lips when you feel the light scratch of his beard brushing your neck before the softness of his mouth touches your cheek. You hum in satisfaction.

“Bucky…” you breathe, stirring as you lay on your stomach, still incapable of opening your eyes at this ungodly hour.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispers against your ear, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “I just wanted to say goodbye, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Goodbye?” You whine. The memory of the reason why he is up so early flashes in your mind. Shooting your eyes open, you turn around to meet his beautiful face above yours while he stands by the bed, uniform on, leaning over with his arms straddling you. Stretching, you curl your arms around him and pull him closer. “No goodbyes…” you mumble, kissing his neck.

Bucky sucks in a breath, looking down at your chest – still bare from the activities of no more than a few hours before. He tilts his head to peck your lips. “Have to go, sweetheart…I’ll be home before you know it, definitely before Christmas.”

“No…” Your hold on his neck tightens while you assault his lips, cheeks, and jaw with sleepy kisses. “Too long… want you here.”

“Alright, then,” he says before swiftly jumping on the bed beside you, already starting to push his boots away from one foot with the other.

“What?” You yelp, holding yourself up with your elbows, shooting him a wide eyed look.

“My baby wants me to stay, I’m staying,” he states, in all seriousness while he tosses a boot across the room. “Screw the bad guys.” He then moves towards you, spreading your legs with a knee to accommodate himself while you promptly put your arms around him, even if your stare at him is of pure astonishment.  “Screw Tony Stark, Nick Fury and by all means-“ He starts kissing your neck down your chest, “-screw Captain America, I’m staying here with my love.” Nuzzling your breasts, he punctuates his resolve by capturing a nipple with his mouth.

The warm sensation makes you gasp and you almost give up on saying what you’re about to say, but you keep yourself strong. “No, baby, no…” You chuckle, pulling his face up and almost melting at the love you find plastered there, “Ugh… no, no you have to go… I was just being silly.” You twist your face in a dismissive way. “And I definitely don’t want Captain America bursting through the door again,” you add, remembering how mortified you were the time Steve and Nat caught the two of you right in the act.

“Screw that jerk,” Bucky spits, tipping his chin up before leaning down to kiss you.  

You laugh but the sound turns into a moan as you meet him halfway to the kiss. “You already said that,” you speak when he once again starts the descent in exploring your body with his mouth. You squirm and giggle once he reaches that ticklish spot of yours right by your clavicle, but pull him up again, cupping his cheeks. “You go on that mission, and I’ll be here, watching Alpine and waiting for you, just like we agreed I would do. Ok?”

He pouts at you and you can’t resist to give his lips a quick peck. “And when you come back, safe and sound, world saved and all, I’ll take good care of you, huh?” You raise your hips against his while one of your hands leaves his face in favor to grab a handful of his ass.  

“Sweetheart,” he groans down at you, “This is not helping your case. Like… at all.”

“Go!” You shout, giving his ass a sharp smack

“Oh, wow, ma’am.” He bites his lip. “Haven’t met this dom side of you yet, and damn… we should explore it…”

“Maybe when you get back.” You wink, before urging him to get up, “Come on, babe, you go Avenge the ass out of this world.”

“Alright, alright…” he relents after pecking your lips, and with a smile plastered on his face, he moves to sit up. “Alpine’s routine is on the fridge,” he says, sitting by the end of the bed with his back to you while he works to put his boots on again.

You chuckle from where you remain laying down and stretch your arms again. He had gone over Alpine’s routine a thousand times the previous day. You're staying at his place to watch over her while he’s away, and you have a guess you’re not the only one he’s having a hard time leaving behind.

“Ok,” he stands up and moves to you for another goodbye kiss, “Will you call me if you need anything?” He asks, his face inches from yours.

“Mhm-hmm,” you nod, laziness invading you again and turning your eyelids heavy, “Love you, come back to me soon.”

“I will,” he promises in a whisper and a kiss on your cheek, “Love you too…Oh, and by the way, I left your Christmas present on the nightstand. I sure hope you open it early.”

You register the mischief in his voice, but sleep wins you over. Snuggling into your pillow, you mumble out just an “ok” and fall into slumber again.

~~~

It’s already night time when you step into Bucky’s place again after quickly dropping by in the afternoon to check in on Alpine. Damn you if you leave her alone for a whole day… But it’s been a hectic day at work, and it doesn’t help that you hit the snooze button of your alarm one too many times this morning. 

“Hey, sweet pea.” You lean down to scratch her ear when Alpine greets you by the door with a meow, brushing her head against your calves. You chuckle, remembering the first encounter with the cat—a white ball of fur and anger hissing at you. 

“How was your day, huh? Did you miss dad?” You ask, her eyes closing with delight from the caress on her neck. “I know I did… come here,” you say, standing up and walking towards her food spot.

After changing her water and food, you leave her there, eating contentedly. Then you move towards the bathroom, longing for a long, hot shower to relax a bit, and then, hopefully, try to reach Bucky on the phone.

Within the first few months of finally setting your feelings for each other straight – well, after you finally set your feelings for him straight, because he was there long before you were – your relationship has been like anyone would expect, filled with overwhelming love and…

Sex…

Lots of sex.

All the time.

Everywhere.

You know it has a lot to do with the fact your relationship is still fresh and new, and it doesn’t mean that’s all you two are about. You love him and he loves you. But that’s how you two got together in the first place and how you’ve been primarily expressing the tremendous love you feel for each other. You’ve been attached to him at the hip and every other little part of his body and, boy, do you love it…

This is the first long mission he’s gone on since the two of you got together, and you know it will be especially hard to be away from him after the amazing goodbye night he gave you. Damn… you swear you can still feel it in your bones and every other part of you he’s touched.  

Finishing up your shower, your muscles relaxed, you grab one of Bucky’s shirts from his closet, relishing in the way his smell envelops you when you put it on.

That’s when something on the nightstand catches your attention.

A rectangular pink box with a golden ribbon. Bucky’s gift for you.

The last words he had said to you before he left for the mission resounds in your mind…I sure hope you open it early…

You cock an eyebrow at the package and next thing you know you’re sitting on the bed, untying the ribbon.

What you find inside the unassuming white box kicks the air out of your lungs. The surprised gasp quickly gives place to a large smile, because…Bucky… of course. His Christmas present for you, the first one you’re spending together, is… a rabbit vibrator.

“Hope it keeps you happy while I’m gone. Love you. Bucky.” You read on the card you find inside the box, and your smile widens even more.

You take it out of the black tulle bag to examine your gift further. The baby blue color of it makes you smile and your eyes widen realizing it’s gotta be the girthiest rabbit you’ve ever had the pleasure to see in person… Ah, Bucky… always thinking of your satisfaction, no matter if it’s provided by him or not. He must have figured you would miss him, all of him, that’s why he was so keen on you opening the gift soon.

A thought crosses your mind and makes you bite your lower lip. Just the fact of Bucky hoping you would use the gift twists your core in a very naughty way and you wonder whether you should give it a try right now… Well, he did tell you to open it early, which means he wanted you to use it… you better not disappoint him.

You’re quick on sanitizing it like the manual told you to. You check on Alpine, spotting her taking a nap on the couch, before shutting the door to Bucky’s room and grabbing the lube on the nightstand. You take off your underwear and, wearing just Bucky’s shirt, you sit comfortably on the bed with your back  against the headboard, lube and rabbit in hands.

You take in a deep breath to figure out how to get started. You sure are a bit excited already just by the thought of doing it, and you know the lube would certainly come in handy. However, considering the remarkably thick toy Bucky has chosen, you figure you should prep yourself better before starting. Grabbing your cell phone, you set the lube and the rabbit aside while you search through some porn videos.

Scrolling through some old favorites of yours, you realize it’s been a while since you’ve watched them. Not that it would be a problem with Bucky – like it would have certainly been with your ex, Eddie- but because you just didn’t have the time, always being too lost in each other to need anything else to excite you. After two or three videos, you notice / realize it’s not bringing the same effect they did before… they’re just not enough. You groan in frustration… has Bucky not only ruined any other man for you, but now also porn, too?

Well, if that’s the case, you might as well appeal to the vivid images right there in your mind. And that’s precisely what you do. Tossing the cell phone somewhere in on the bed and closing your eyes while leaning against the headboard, the little private show in your imagination begins.

The first image that flashes in your mind is his head between your legs on the very first night you two got together. The way he lapped and sucked and kissed, feasting on you like you were the most delicious meal he was ever fed. The image of him jerking himself off while eating you out that night twists the knot in your belly.

Your breathing becomes deeper and the knot twists further when you recall that night in some dark alley of the city after getting out of a rooftop bar. The thrill of the possibility of someone spotting you two while his cock was deep inside you makes you gasp again. The way he talked to you, with filthy praises… God… your hand slides down your body to between your open legs. Hot, soft and now perfectly wet… You hum in delight thinking how he would praise you for feeling so good…

With a finger you circle your clit and moan… you do feel good… with Bucky you’ve learned how to appreciate yourself in that way and damn… that’s one of the hottest things ever.

Feeling as ready as you could be, you open your eyes and retract your hand to grab the toy. You position it between your legs, and it makes you shiver when the velvet sensation of it meets your heat. You still need to lube it up, but you’re wet enough to let it slide between your folds. Your other hand flies to grab a handful of the sheets at the feeling and it stumbles against your phone in the way.

You just leave the toy there for a while, allowing the temperatures and textures to get acquainted. The heat flushes up your core and you experiment with the first of many levels of vibrations.

“Oh…” it slips from your lips and your head falls back against the headboard.

You guide the tip of the toy to your clit and push the button to the next level. And then the next…The sensation of Bucky’s tongue on that very same spot invades your senses, “Oh, yes, fuck... Bucky…” you moan loudly.

“Goddammit, baby, what are you up to?”

You scream and jump on the bed, tossing the rabbit away at the sound of your boyfriend's voice. 

“Bucky?” You call, widened eyes at the door, imagining you would see him there.

“Down here, babe.”

You follow his voice to see the cheeky grin on his face through your phone’s screen, which was tossed on the mattress beside you. You must’ve accidentally video called him at some point.

“Fuck…” you say under your breath while you swiftly work on swiping away the thin coat of sweat off your forehead and attempt to fix your hair a bit before grabbing your phone. “H-hey, Bucky.”

“Hey there, sweetheart,” he says, the grin on his face lingering. He’s still in his uniform, but you notice he’s sitting on an armchair in a bedroom. He must have just arrived in their safe house. “I take it you liked my present. It hasn’t even been a full day, yet,” he adds with amusement and, to your mortification, the buzzing of the still vibrating rabbit resounds in the room.

The embarrassment burns your cheeks, and leaves you speechless, but it doesn’t last long, because you know Bucky too well. You know he’s given you this present with your enjoyment in mind, but you do spot a glint of mischievous interest in his eyes.

Oh… you love that man.

“Yeah… I did love it. You have excellent taste.” Embarrassment completely gone, you decide that if he’s going to be cheeky about it, two can play this game. You slowly lick your lips before you give the lower one a long bite. Bucky’s eyes drop immediately to them, “You did say I should open it earlier,” you add, a tad of innocence in your tone.   

His chest heaves… he notices what you’re doing, “Fuck…” he breathes, eyes on your lips, “Damn me for getting in your way...” The camera of his phone is focused on his upper body, but by the position of his arm, you have an idea on where his hand lays now. You gulp down at the mental image of him rubbing himself through his pants, “Do you mind if I watch you, sweetheart?”

You absolutely love that he asks you that in that way, like he’s so eager to watch you but he would hate to be an intruder in your moment, even though all you’re thinking about in this moment is him. You smile when you hear he’s already working on opening his trousers. Definitely a perv, but your perv.

“You’re the one who gave me the gift… You’re more than welcome to join me.” You wink and move to put the cellphone on the phone holder on the nightstand. You position the camera towards you while you sit on the bed in a way that would give him a privileged view of your body.

His hooded gaze is unyieldingly on you as you place your feet on the mattress and open your legs. Widely. He sure enjoys the generous view as his eyes now drop to your exposed pussy and his jaw goes slack.

“Fucking hell, babe,” he barely whispers, his arms moving slowly on himself, “I love my shirt on you, but why don’t you take it off and let me see all of you babe? Show me those tits, will ya?” He nods towards the shirt you have on.

You promptly obey him, pulling it over your head and tossing it aside. The vision of yourself on the phone, completely exposed, makes your cheeks burn and you almost forget the cheeky performance you’ve been putting on so far. But the look he has for you … that look… the one that assures you’re the most beautiful woman in the world keeps you grounded… and hot… so fucking hot. Your fingers move on their own and find your dampened and swollen clit again. Your jaw drops at the sensation of you touching yourself.

Right there on the other side of the screen, Bucky brings his hand to his mouth, and, with his sultry eyes on yours, he draws his tongue out, licks his palm and spits on it before bringing it down again. Fuck… you’re about to come just by that image itself and the touch of your fingers on your pussy. You can’t even see his cock but you know it must look big and hard and damn beautiful in his hand. You gasp while your fingers race up against your clit and you hold yourself by twisting a fist on the sheets.

“Shhhh…. Slow down, babe…” Bucky warns in a restrained groan, “Don’t you have a gift to use?”

At that, your fingers freeze. Catching your breath, you reach for the rabbit. Knowing you’re wet enough to take that toy perfectly, you decide to tease Bucky as you put the length of it in your mouth, giving it a sultry lick before engulfing it with your lips, coating it with your saliva.

“Fuck yeah… suck it, baby, suck it good,” Bucky encourages through a tightened jaw as his arm speeds up on himself.

You twirl your tongue around the toy a few more times before bringing it down. Under his lustful gaze, you slide the rabbit between your folds, sinking it in your wetness before guiding the tip to your clit again and turning the vibration on.

“Oh, Bucky,” your voice is a whisper through the sound of the vibrator buzzing in the room.

“Does that feel good, babe?” Bucky questions and you can tell he’s slowing down his rhythm to prolong his own pleasure

“Oh, yeah… so good,” you moan.

“Then take it, sweetheart, take it good and let me see you. You’re so damn beautiful,” he coos, knowing exactly what a sucker you are for a few praises.

Your cunt clenches at his words and you guide the toy to your entrance. There’s a bit of a sting that hits your senses once you push the tip inside. Your jaw drops as you push it further. The length and girth are almost a challenge, but a delicious one that you’re willing to take.

“That’s it… so fucking sexy…”

With Bucky’s praise you let out a languid and loud moan, having the whole length of the toy deep inside you. Your other hand twists the fabric of the sheet and your head falls back.

Eager and dripping wet, you start pumping in and out, not slowly, not gently, as the knot inside you gets tighter and tighter, longing for a release. The vibrating little rabbit hits your clit every time you push in, and your vision becomes glossy and blurry, your mind lost in the pleasure you’re giving yourself under Bucky’s eyes.

“Baby that feels so good,“ you tell him, not caring about the sloppy sounds of your wetness, knowing that, if he can hear them, he’s losing his fucking mind right now.

“Shit… fuck… I’m so fucking lucky… look at that… look at you… fucking yourself so hard like that,” Bucky speaks in a raspy voice and between heavy breaths, jerking himself in a hasty pace, “God I miss that pussy so much already.”

“Fucking shitballs,” you choke, clenching around the toy. You have your eyes shut so you don’t see it, but you do hear the heavy chuckle Bucky lets out at your favorite curse.

More than willing to put on a show for him – and for your own pleasure, since you have a thing for that position - you remove the toy from you just quick enough to turn on all fours.  

“Oh shit…baby, you’re killing me here with that sexy ass of yours,” Bucky’s voice is a raspy sound from behind you, “You love that, don’t you? You love when I take you from behind, my cock deep in that sweet pussy... fuck.”

You look over your shoulder to spot his arm moving frantically, hypnotized by the vision of you. Hooded eyes focus on your ass as you pump the toy in and out of your pussy from behind. You glance at your own image, too and fuck, yeah, you do look exposed and sexy as hell.

Your eyes shut and your cheek meets the mattress.  You quicken your pace, letting yourself be guided by the increasing spark in your core. … you’re there. You’re almost there.

“Ride it… ride it good baby,” he groans through heavy breathing.

“Fuck… I’m gonna cum.” You pant and, for a moment, you forget all about putting on a show for Bucky. Your mind and body focus solely on fucking yourself, on the toy in your cunt… the thickness of it…the slide through your wetness… the sweet vibrations on your clit…

Your legs start shaking and you let out a loud moan when the tightening pleasure in your core breaks into a powerful orgasm. Your body moves in waves with the sparks of sheer pleasure washing over every little part of you, making your mind nothing but a fog.

With a relieved cry, you let yourself fall flat on the mattress, but still hold the toy inside you, allowing the vibrations on your clit until it’s too much. You yelp as you pull it out and toss it aside. Still trying to catch your breath and your senses, you turn on your side and reach over to grab the phone from the holder and bring it close to your face as you support your head on your straightened arm.

You could come all over again just by the image of Bucky there, face red and sweating, jaw clenched, and arm moving frantically on himself.

“Goddammit, goddammit,” he growls.

In your blissful state, you smirk. You know him too well to know he’s holding himself back, which means the sensation is just too good for him to easily let go, “Let me see…” you whisper before biting your lip.

Bucky promptly moves the camera down to his cock. Big and hard and pulsing in his flesh hand. You draw blood out of your lips at the sight, and can’t help but to press your thighs together to scratch the itch growing back between your legs.

The tingle in your pussy only sprouts once Bucky moans out his finish. and You watch the big spurts of come spilling down his hand and clothed belly, making a mess of his uniform. Pressing your thighs tighter, another orgasm hits you and takes your breath away all over again, prompted by the filthy vision of him and the eager still lodged between your legs. A small, yet greatly satisfying orgasm as you watch your boyfriend come all over himself through the phone screen.

“Shit… that was something… Best gift ever…” Bucky declares when you two manage to breathe properly and his camera is now back to his grinning face.

Your head falls back as you laugh. “I’m glad you liked it, but I thought the present was for me?” You cock an eyebrow at him.

“It is, but I know you’re generous enough to include me sometimes. Aren’t you, beautiful?” He winks that mischievous wink of his.

“I’m sure we can figure something out,” you answer, the smile never leaving your face or his, before turning to lay on your back, holding the phone up as you rest your head on his pillow, “So, how was your day?”.  

Bucky shrugs, “Same old same old, bad guys being assholes, Avengers being awesome… and my hot as fuck girlfriend at the end of the day to make it all worth it.”

The fondness in his voice and face, a complete contrast to him calling you “hot as fuck”, makes your heart jump funny and you can’t help but giggle. It turns out Bucky is, not just a real Sex God, but also the sappiest and sweetest man on earth. A combination that makes him almost irresistible… damn… who are you kidding? There’s is no  “almost”. He’s thoroughly and deliciously irresistible. 

“How’s Alpine?” He then asks, laying back on the chair and placing an arm comfortably behind his head. 

“She’s great. I think she didn’t even notice you’re gone.”  

Hurt falls upon his face as he aims a kicked puppy look at you.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” you’re quick to add with a chuckle, “The cat is miserable”, you lie. Now that Alpine has warmed up to you, she’s very comfortable and happy in your presence, even in Bucky’s absence. So when you see the pout on his face, you decide it’s enough for you to not break that man’s heart, which is as soft as cotton, you’ve come to learn. “Come back to her soon, will ya?” As relief shows on his face, you plead, not talking solely about Alpine anymore. It’s been a day and you already miss him like crazy.  

“I will,” he answers with a smile and a meaningful look, before the mischief is back again, “So tell me, how did you prep yourself to try out my present? Just by thinking of me?” The cockiness is obvious in his voice.

“Yeah, actually…” You see no point in hiding that from him, “But don’t get too cocky…” You point a warning finger, “I couldn’t find any good porn.”

Bucky’s laugh lights up the room even miles away and through a tiny screen.  “Well, well, that’s too bad,” he says, nonchalantly, “Maybe we should make our own for next time, then.” He bites his lip and wiggles his eyebrows.

You register the wicked promise in his words and smile, as cheekily as he does.  

You’re so here for that.

 ~~~

[arsonaetcuh]

I posted 5,493 times in 2021

152 posts created (3%)

5341 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 35.1 posts.

I added 534 tags in 2021

#fave - 278 posts

#aph netherlands - 61 posts

#hetalia - 47 posts

#starflight speaks - 26 posts

#ask game - 25 posts

#hws netherlands - 24 posts

#aph denmark - 23 posts

#aph luxembourg - 18 posts

#incorrect hetalia quotes - 17 posts

#aph prussia - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#there will be a huge chance i can't get this as my parents are pretty judging and can see my online purchases but please spread the word

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Hetalia incorrect quotes part 1/?

Veneziano: Fratello, I’m sad. Romano, hugging him: come here, it’s going to be alright. Germany: Bruder, I’m sad. Prussia, nodding: Mood. Spain: *carrying a bunch of groceries with both hands* Romano: *reaches out to help* Spain: *switches all the groceries to one arm to hold Romano's hand* Romano: Bastard, that's not what I- Romano: Ah, fuck it America: I’m running away from my problems. And it feels good Romano: How is the prettiest person in the universe today? Belgium: I don’t know, how are you- Luxembourg: (from another room) I’M GREAT THANKS France: Pick your battles, England. Pick... pick fewer than that. That’s too many. Put some back.

90 notes • Posted 2021-03-14 11:46:55 GMT

#4

Hetalia Incorrect Quotes part 5/?

Poland: What could be better than serving up smiles? Lithuania: Being dead or anything else

Prussia: *attempts to flirt* Prussia: *accidentally summons Satan*

Romano: This is torture. You're torturing me. Stop trying to seduce me, it's not going to work. America: *literally just washing the dishes*

Sweden: Why are you crying? Finland: It's the onions Sweden, in a threatening voice to the onions: What did you say to m' wife?

Kidnapper, negotiating with Netherlands and Belgium: We have Luxembourg. Give us ten thousand euros and we will return him to you. Luxembourg: Wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand euros? Luxembourg: Make it a million! Netherlands: Lux, stop-

Link to part 4

95 notes • Posted 2021-05-10 00:38:17 GMT

#3

Hetalia incorrect quotes part 2/?

America: Did you eat my doughnut? Belarus: No America: Then what's that stain on your jeans? I know it's jam Belarus: ummmm no it's blood America: .....I can't tell if you're joking or not

[At a sleepover] Kugelmugel, to Seborga: What time is it? Seborga: I don't know, can you pass me that recorder? Kugelmugel: Wha- Seborga: You'll see. *loudly plays recorder* Molossia and Ladonia simultaneously, from the other room: who THE FUCK is playing the RECORDER at 4 IN THE MORNING?

Portugal: Uh, you love me right? Netherlands: Normally I would say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

England: I told you to stop doing that with the knives. America, with knives taped to his hands: But Wolverine has– England: I said stop.

Romania: Hungary? Hungary: Yes? Romania: Why do you have a playlist called "for when I take over the world"? Romania: And why is it just the high school musical 2 soundtrack?

Link to part 1

109 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 18:30:59 GMT

#2

For those who don't know:

Snickers is a verb

Fortune cookies were made in the US

The UK lost 2 wars to Iceland

England and the Netherlands were at war for 335 years

Pineapple on pizza is Canadian

Nothing is Shakespearan English slang for vagina

Have a nice day

151 notes • Posted 2021-11-18 21:03:18 GMT

#1

Facts About Hetalia Characters

Denmark has incredible reflexes

Netherlands respected Japan's isolation and chased away any ships that came close (did this to Denmark)

Canada has sworn(cursed)

Hong Kong is sassy

Prussia is stronger than Germany

He is also very religious and immediately prayed to God for forgiveness after he groped Hungary

Prussia is also a serious older brother

Prussia has a strong military discipline and will work you H A R D

Lithuania is a simp

Spain treated his colonies like absolute shit. The only exception was Romano

Spain is also a scary drunk

As is Vietnam

Indonesia is the tallest out of the ASEAN countries

South Korea was burned to ashes and was still alive

Finland is a chub and has a gun collection

Veneziano beat up Turkey

Cuba can teleport

Bulgaria x Stick is more likely to become canon that Germany x Herr Stick

NETHERLANDS AND CANADA HAVE A CANON INTERACTION IN THE MANGA

156 notes • Posted 2021-07-10 09:43:56 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[lovelyirony]

Hi! “If I fail, I’ll fall apart/Maybe it is all a test/because I feel like I’m the worst / so I always act like I’m the best” -Oh No! This is one of my favorite lyrics ever, and I'd really like to see what you bring out of it :) You're amazing, ily! 💞

what if maria had more of an effect on tony’s upbringing than most? howard’s still a dick but make it funny

Tony has known he was probably not the best human on earth ever since he was five and his dad made a bigger deal out of a dead man’s birthday than his own. 

At age five, you don’t really know a lot about the world yet. There were about two things that Tony didn’t know that he wishes he did know: 

1.) The word “fuck.” It would have helped with a lot of his situations. 

2.) The concept of jealousy. He probably could have gone to a child therapist or some shit, he’s not sure if those even existed back then, or if his parents would have even let him go. 

(After all, he’s supposed to be their perfect little boy, just the right amount of precocious and the other amount being something like genius or respectability.) 

It is actually his mother who takes the reins on his life. Howard has effect, he has huge effects. 

Maria is a socialite who absolutely refuses to let her son succumb to Howard’s devil-may-care attitude that he’s so infamous for. Her son is going to be well-mannered, respectable, and know exactly how to treat a lady of high social standing. 

This involves training at a young age. Six would be a fine age. 

It’s not Howard who sends him to boarding schools, it’s Maria. She ensures that he goes to the finest schools available, most abroad in Europe. She trains him out of the American accent, into something a bit more refined. 

He spends summers learning different languages and different skills. He learns how to fence by the time he’s ten, and becomes quite proficient at it. 

She quizzes him on established families, up-and-coming families, and never keeps him far from her sight. 

Anthony Stark is not going to be a wild-child, she decides. 

-

Anthony isn’t, for the most part. Sure, he usually stays up past what is acceptable for the night to work on some mechanic stuff and uses the word “damn” a bit too much for his mother’s liking, but that’s the reason make-up and apologies were invented. 

He follows rules and is known to smile like his mother and enjoy listening to quartets play out in the open air during the summer months. He travels to Europe and participates in various activities and is the talk of many socialites who eagerly await his arrival. 

He’s a portrait, holding still for all’s approval, and he’s not quite sure how to move. 

That’s troublesome, he thinks. 

The problem is this: Anthony Stark doesn’t have any interests outside what is required. He loves working on inventions, and they are necessary for the company to survive, but his father hates any robotic invention he pushes for, and mother thinks that if he tells people he’s rather fond of AC/DC then he’s a plague to society and will be shunned. 

(He doesn’t say it to her face but they haven’t shunned Sunset yet, and she’s a whole world of problems, so rock music is the least of their problems.) 

There is one thing that he pushes for: university in the United States. He’s been traveling to Europe since he was a child, and he honestly needs to do something for himself. 

Maria is not pleased. 

“So after I sacrifice so much for you, this is how you repay me?” she asks him over dinner. 

He places his fork to the correct side. 

“Yes. This is how I am repaying you. By getting a perfectly respectable college degree from a critically-acclaimed university that anyone would be lucky to attend. Not to mention it might reflect badly on Stark Industries if I don’t go to an American college. Do I not trust American institutions to run an American business?” 

“You shouldn’t.” 

Anthony laughs. 

“Mother, they cannot teach me anything that Europe can’t. Let me go to college in the United States. Please.” 

“No.” 

- 

It takes Howard to convince her, and a.) Howard doesn’t even like Anthony that much, and b.) he also doesn’t like his wife that much. 

“He’s going to a damned college here, Maria. We don’t need him to go to any more of that fancy bullshit you call school over there.” 

“Fancy bullshit, Howard?! Bullshit?! You mean what has gotten him this far in life and will make him a better man of social standing than you?” 

“My god, is social standing all that matters to you? What are your little friends going to do, choke on their silver spoons when they find out that your son is going to an American college?” 

- 

Jarvis also convinces her. 

“It will be easier to monitor his progress from a shorter distance,” he advises. “And you can visit frequently.” 

Anthony gives him a very dirty look. Apparently, he wasn’t supposed to mention that. 

Oops. 

-

But, Anthony gets his way. He’s going to MIT, and he has a roommate. 

(Okay, so mother doesn’t know that. But he supposes she will if she ever visits. Or maybe not considering if Tony can successfully convince his roommate to “disappear” for at least a day.) 

-

Rhodey does not give a singular shit about high society anything or anyone. Anthony Stark is a name he registers, but doesn’t recognize. 

“Anthony’s a mouthful,” he says a week into their cohabitation. “You have a nickname or something?” 

“Ah...no? I mean, not yet,” Anthony says. 

“How do you feel about Tony?” 

“I...I suppose that that is alright.” 

“Are you from Europe?” 

“No, from New York.” 

“Well holy shit, you sure as fuck don’t sound like it.” 

- 

Anthony--well, Tony now--learns quite a bit about American schooling and what he’s actually supposed to be doing to pass off as normal. 

Rhodey (yeah he got a nickname that ended in ‘y’ too, Tony said he wouldn’t be the only one) takes him to the thrift store and tells him to pick out some clothes. 

“...there’s a shirt that’s advertising a restaurant from Montana.” 

“And? Does it look hilarious?” 

“Is that the point of this?” 

“Fashion is supposed to make you like what you’re wearing or like yourself. I swear if you say that those boring black suits make you feel better about yourself, I will be dragging you to any therapist that will take us for at least five dollars.” 

“Five dollars?” 

“Maybe less if I can negotiate.” 

“Hey!” 

- 

Tony learns how to have fun. He loves it. 

Rhodey makes him go to record stores and find the bargain bin, and they play the warped records and laugh as voices go up and down in pitch. Tony blasts Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden until the RA begs him to go to bed and Rhodey throws all of his pillows off of his bed. 

In return, Tony teaches Rhodey how to read other’s facial expressions, dress for any occasion and be the best-looking there, as well as avoiding any sort of conflict by bringing up past embarrassments. 

“Are you serious about the color of my shoe affecting my social standing?” Rhodey asks, trying to shove his foot into a shoe that was a brown color that Tony had described as a “golden mahogany.” 

“Yes, I’m dead serious.” 

“No fucking wonder everyone says eat the rich all of you are so fucking pretentious. It’s brown, Tony.” 

“Tell that to any high society woman over fifty.” 

“I will.” 

- 

As it turns out, he ends up doing it much sooner than anticipated. 

Tony’s parents come to visit. 

They call him Anthony. Which is gross. Rhodey hasn’t used the name “Anthony” in about six months. 

“I wasn’t aware that you were his roommate,” his mother says. 

“Well, here I am,” Rhodey says. “Name’s also on the information they sent out to the parents about the living situations.” 

Tony tenses as his parents brush off the obvious comment on how little they actually know about his situation and move right into the room. 

Maria stops at the huge poster of a rock band. 

“I assume that this is...James’?” 

“No,” he says timidly. “It’s...it’s mine. Their use of movement on the guitar strings-” 

“Take it down,” Maria demands. “It’s unsightly.” 

“Oh give the kid a break,” Howard says tiredly. “For once he’s not listening to you talk about the merits of paisley prints.” 

“I’m training our son for a more successful life than yours,” Maria hisses. “Of course, you’d have to stay away from your friend Jack to understand that.” 

“Rhodey, leave,” Tony says. “Trust me, it gets messier from here.” 

He does think about it. How easy it would be to walk out and check in with a couple of his other friends and talk about how crazy Tony’s parents are. How he could check back in near dinner time and then Tony could tell him all about how terribly it went. 

But Tony already looks terrible, and he’s doing that weird thing with his hands where he wrings them and then remembers he’s not supposed to wring them and makes it worse. 

“No,” Rhodey says. “I am staying until the bitter end. Who knows? Maybe I can give your mom a heart attack when I ask her the difference between kelly and forest green.” 

Tony grins. 

“You can leave any time, it’s about to get...interesting.” 

- 

Tony’s family is quite dysfunctional. They can put on a good front in public, for what it’s worth. 

Howard is impressed that Rhodey’s planning on going into the Air Force and then talks about Captain America for a lot of the dinner. Rhodey is very uncomfortable and then asks about business and Maria rolls her eyes and orders another glass of wine. 

After Howard finishes up talking about some contract and making vague threats against businesses that Rhodey thinks might actually be in trouble, it’s Maria’s turn. 

“So, Rhodey, where is your family from?” 

“We live in the Boston area,” Rhodey answers. 

“And what do your parents do?” 

“Dad works as a consultant for a local construction company, and my mom works as a high school history teacher. They both like their jobs.” 

“Hm,” Maria remarks, and it’s so light and casual and yet so cutting. Tony can see how Rhodey squirms, and he can’t just let it stand. 

It’s one thing for Maria to cut her own son down until he’s nothing. Still fucked up, but Tony can handle it. He’s been handling it for years. 

“Rhodey, how did your mom come to want to know she liked teaching?” Tony asks. “That sounds like it could be really hard to figure out.” 

“Oh, well it all started when she was in high school and wanted to change how one of her teachers treated students. It was a really inspiring moment for her.” 

“That sounds really cool,” Tony says. “What does she like most about her job?” 

“Probably the kids,” Rhodey says. 

The conversation carries on about Rhodey’s family until their dinner arrives and his mother manages to cut in with more questions. 

“So, what else does your mother do?” 

“She volunteers at the local food kitchen and helps some of the younger kids at the after-school program,” Rhodey answers. “She also makes a mean Thanksgiving turkey.” 

“Would you look at that,” Tony says. “Mrs. Rhodes sounds like a fine cook, I wish I could say the same for you, mother.” 

“Oh?” 

Howard actually laughs at that as he signs for the bill. 

“The kid is right, Maria. At some points I think your kitchen is only used for decoration.” 

“Oh, and you know how to cook, Mr. Stark?” Maria asks, raising her eyebrows. “I’d love to see you make anything other than coffee.” 

“I’ll make toast.” 

Rhodey laughs, and so does Tony. 

“Ready to go?” Tony asks, and part of it is a way to get away from an isolated conversation, and part of it is to make his parents leave for their hotel room sooner. 

“Tony, I want to have a talk with you before we retire for the night,” Maria says, and Tony tenses up. 

Rhodey can’t protect him from that, and he squeezes Tony’s hand as they walk behind his parents. 

“It’ll be okay,” he whispers. 

“Maybe,” Tony says. “Maybe.” 

- 

Rhodey goes into their building, and Howard waits in the car. He nods to Tony on his way out. 

“You’ve...changed,” mother says. 

“Well, that’s how humanity goes,” Tony says dryly, looking anywhere but her eyes. 

“Rock music? These snappish remarks towards your own mother? I don’t know if this college was such a good idea.” 

“It is,” Tony says. “I just...learned new things and incorporated it into my life. Nothing the matter with that.” 

“Nothing wrong with that?” Maria reiterates, surprised look on her face. “Rock music is for other people, you know things that others don’t know! You can perform violin and piano, you don’t have to listen to the personal manifestation of a headache!” 

“And if I like that headache?!” Tony asks. “If I like something that’s outside of what you approve, why so angry about it? Is it because you finally can’t control every single aspect about my identity? Is it because I’m not like your perfect little toy that you can make walk and talk how you like?” 

“You know it’s not that.” 

“Isn’t it?” Tony asks. “Because you want me to change every single interest that I’ve found I like by myself. I bet you want me to listen to Bach for fun.” 

“I do not want you to change from who you are,” Maria says. “You have eaten at the finest restaurants in the world and now you brag about making something called ramen in a microwave. A microwave?!” 

“A surprising amount of families in America have them,” Tony says. “And I’m a college student! I’m supposed to eat crappy food and then laugh about it in twenty years!” 

Maria turns red, and her lips screw up into a tight line. 

“I don’t think you should be here,” Maria says. “You’re forgetting your place. Your roommate is...” 

“My roommate is what,” Tony starts, glaring at her. “My roommate is what, mother? You want to honestly finish that sentence?” 

“He’s not good enough!” she yells at him. “You are a Stark!” 

Tony stares at her for a moment. And then another moment. 

“Leave,” he says. “Get the hell out of here.” 

“You don’t tell me-” 

“I do,” Tony says, using his full height to his advantage. “You can tell me how many times I’ve fucked up as many times as you want, but you never talk about James that way ever again.” 

He twists on his heel, forcefully opening the door to the dormitory and not once looking back. 

- 

Rhodey finds Tony back in his room when he gets back from getting ready for the night, and Tony is clutching a pillow and laying face down on the bed. 

“You know, you’ll have to turn over eventually to get some fresh air.” 

“Leave me to die, Rhodey. Oh my god.” 

“That bad?” 

“That bad. She’s probably going to try and put me in a prestigious college or some shit.” 

“Oof. Wanna fake your death and run away?” 

“Please.” 

“Well, too bad. I have a test next week, and you need to do your poetry notes.” 

“But poetry sucks.” 

“It only sucks because you don’t like modern poetry, suck it up and pull it out of your ass or something.” 

“Ugh, fine.” 

- 

Maria is trying very hard to get her son away from MIT and towards a fancy school in Europe. She doesn’t even care where, just away from his roommate and his classic rock posters and the dormitory. Anthony needs an environment where he can focus on networking, meeting more people. 

Howard says no. 

He can’t even bother to remember her son’s birthday, and he says “no.” 

“We need Anthony to go to an American school, and nothing is better besides maybe Cal Tech, and he’ll have to finish another year of college and Hammer Industries can use that as a sign of an unsteady heir.” 

“Well then get rid of his roommate.” 

“I’m not doing that, you’re asking for a PR death sentence.” 

“He’s a bad influence.” 

“No he’s not,” Howard says tiredly. “The kid is finally standing up for himself, and you hate that.” 

“I don’t hate that he can be his own person.” 

“You just wish he were his own person under your specifications,” Howard drawls. “He’s staying at MIT, that’s final.” 

“Hmph.” 

Howard rolls his eyes. 

“Go back to planning whatever charity gala you’re hosting this week, honey. I’m sure things will be fine.” 

Maria doesn’t speak against her husband, just fumes and decides she’s going to try to get Jarvis’ opinion. 

-

Edwin is also a flat no. 

“He will not forgive you if you do this,” he says, pouring her tea and adding in one sugar cube. “He loves his school, he talks about it all the time.” 

“And what, he calls you?” 

Edwin Jarvis realizes he shouldn’t have mentioned this. 

“At times, madam. At times. Will that be all?” 

“...that will be all.” 

Jarvis does bring up a good point. Besides her, of course, he knows Anthony best, even if he does keep calling him Tony. Anthony will grow out of that nickname soon enough. 

She has hope for her boy. He will most likely grow out of this silly little phase in life and finally appreciate her lessons. 

- 

Tony Stark doesn’t. 

Well, he learns her lessons. Can appreciate some of them and how much he hates that he uses them. 

But he learns a far more important lesson from Rhodey, and it shapes everything: 

“You’re your own person, and you’re far better as your own person,” Rhodey says. “I wanted to kick the shit out of you when we first lived together.” 

“You did?” 

“Of course I did!” Rhodey explains, gesturing with his coffee mug and getting yet another stain on the pillow. (Laundry again. Ugh.) “You talked like you were from a movie from the forties, it sucked.” 

“Oh, you mean the transatlantic accent?” 

“It’s pretentious, just ditch it. You’re interesting enough to listen to on your own. I listen to you talk about how much you hate Picasso sculpture, don’t I?” 

“You do,” Tony admits. 

“So then be yourself. Use what your mom taught you sometimes, but otherwise don’t.” 

“You sure?” 

“Of course I’m sure, I’m a fucking genius.” 

Tony snorts. 

“Okay, Mr. ‘I Forgot to Run the Dishes Again.’”

“I already said I was sorry!” 

-

Tony takes Rhodey’s advice into account when he walks into any board room. He wears the worst possible shoes with every single suit, usually uses all sorts of cultural references that fly over the old board members’ heads. 

He does things his way. It’s unconventional, it’s unpredictable, and it earns him a reputation. 

He’s in an interview in a suit and patterned tie (patterned with tiny robots), and the woman is smiling in a plastic way on the other side. 

“Now, a lot of people are saying you’re taking the business world by storm with your unconventional methods and personality. What helped you formulate this, your father?” 

“Oh god no,” Tony says, laughing. “He’d probably curse me to hell and back for even wearing this tie. My mother would drag me back down to hell again for this.” 

“Then who helped you with this?” 

“Rhodey, who else?” Tony asks. “He always gives the best advice, even if I’ll deny that about fifteen minutes later. He really is the reason that I’m who I am today.” 

“Seems like a great guy.” 

“He is. He always is,” Tony says with a grin. “Except, of course, when he doesn’t fold his laundry, that bastard.” 

The interviewer laughs and moves on, but Tony smiles to himself. 

He doesn’t have to be the best, he just has to be Rhodey’s. That’s all that matters. 

[castieltheavengerr]

Wormhole - Part 2

Series Masterlist

Synopsis: Y/N wakes up in a place she doesn’t know of, with a man claiming to be a god by her side. Superheroes don’t exist, right? In time, she finds out things about herself that she never knew before, and even gets to live with a hot guy, who also happens to be a crime fighting superhero. Will Y/N ever be able to go back home, or has she found it already?

Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack, swearing, allusions to a car crash, a beer bottle mentioned

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: Oh my god i’m so sorry this took so long school has been super busy, i’m doing this with the little free time i have. anyway, here’s part 2 :)

You wait next to Thor in an open field. He mentioned something about some sort of guardians coming to pick him up, and he said that they’d likely bring you to America before they left. You’d asked who they are, where they’re from, but he wouldn’t tell you. It’s like he’s trying to surprise you.

Even though you still have almost no idea of what’s going on, you don’t want to leave Thor’s side. He was the first person you saw, he’s nice, and you trust him. Plus, he could easily protect you if it came to it. As you’re waiting, you hear a loud whooshing noise. Thor looks at you and smiles.

“Ah, that must be the morons. Up there,” he says, pointing to the sky. You expect a plane, but instead you’re met with a blue and orange craft that looks vaguely like it could have come from Star Wars. A large gust of wind hits you, and you fall on the ground. Thor laughs heartily, and starts to walk towards where the ship landed. You hop up, and apprehensively follow him. A ramp lowers to the ground from the ship, and the weirdest looking group of people and things walks out. Someone who you assume is human, dressed in a long red coat, a humanoid figure that is grey with red stripes, and the weirdest ones of all; a walking branch, who’s playing on a game console that looks similar to a Game Boy, another humanoid figure with antennae coming out of her head, and a fucking raccoon, who happens to be holding a gun.

They walk towards Thor, all smiling, except for the human, who looks a bit pissed off at the god. They then see you, sort of hiding behind Thor’s enormous body, and get confused. Then, the weirdest part of your day happens. The raccoon talks.

“Who the fuck is this, Thor? Did you find out you have a kid? That would be wonderful,” the raccoon says, looking you dead in the eye. You’re sure you look like an idiot, mouth open and eyes wide, but a fucking raccoon just talked to you. You think you have a right to be surprised. Thor laughs again.

“No, she isn’t my child. This is Y/N. We just have a bit of a problem, and I need to get her to America. I know some people who may be able to help her. Could you bring us there before we head out?” Thor asks, trying to be as vague as he can, which you are grateful for. Sure, they all look like freaks, but you sure as hell don’t want to be seen as one. The man in the red coat looks at you, seeming to consider it, before nodding his head.

“Yeah, sure, as long as it doesn’t take long. I don’t like this stupid planet, and want to get out of here as soon as possible.” You think, and consider the fact that given the looks of these people, and the weirdness of this new place, aliens are definitely real, so his words make sense. Thor smiles and claps his hands together.

“Great! Shall we be on our way then?” The group turns towards their ship and starts walking, and you and Thor follow suit. You walk inside the ship, and are disgusted by the nastiness of it. There’s garbage everywhere, and a T-shirt with some white subst- oh god. You just turn your head away, trying not to think about it. Thor turns to you and starts to introduce the Guardians. “That there is the captain, Peter Quill. He’s from Midgard, just like you,” he says, but then sees the look of confusion on your face. “Midgard is what we call Earth on Asgard, where I’m from.” You nod your head, just going along with it. “The rabbit there is Rocket,” Thor says, but then the raccoon pipes up.

“I’m not a rabbit asshole!” You just stare ahead, still not wanting to comprehend the fact that apparently raccoons can talk. Thor smiles and continues.

“Whatever you say rabbit. The tree over there is Groot.” The tree looks at you and waves, before it starts to talk. If you hadn’t already witnessed crazier things, you’d say you’d accidentally had some hallucinogenic drugs.

“I am Groot,” the tree says, and you nod slowly.

“I’m Y/N?” you apprehensively say, not sure how to respond. This time, it’s the raccoon that laughs.

“No, those are the only three words he can say. It takes a while to learn how to speak it.” You just give the raccoon, who you remember is Rocket, a small thumbs-up. Thor continues.

“The woman over there is Mantis,” he says, and she smiles sheepishly at you, her antennae bobbing up and down. You try to smile back, but you’re sure it comes out as a kind of grimace.

“And that over there is Drax.” The weird looking dude gives you a small wave, and turns back to whatever he was doing. You still have your arms crossed defensively over your chest, and as you take a look around, you get overwhelmed.

“Guess this is what I get for wishing for a more exciting life,” you think, regretting the thought even crossing your mind. Rocket walks over to you and pokes your leg.

“So what’s the deal here, huh Thor? Random chick that needs to get someplace? Seems fishy to me,” he says, giving you a side-eye. Thor looks over at you, as if asking for permission to tell them what he knows, and you give him a little nod.

“No, not at all. Y/N popped up in the middle of the street in New Asgard, not conscious, so I brought her to a bed. She woke up and freaked out, understandably so. She knows nothing about myself, the Avengers, or the Snap. She was afraid of me, and somehow sent a bottle at my head. I’ve called some old friends with SHIELD to help out,” Thor tells them, and they all eye you weirdly, especially at the whole ‘snap’ part.

The one named Peter shakes his head and waves his hands in front of himself. “Wait, you mean to tell me you don’t know about the Snap?” He gave you a look like you were the stupidest person in the world.

“Uh, well, if what you’re referring to is the fact that half of the fucking universe just turned to ash out of nowhere, then yeah, that never happened,” you defensively say, not wanting to deal with this douchebag’s shit. He raises his eyebrows at you.

“Aren’t you like, 10?” he says, mocking you. You give him the bird, and everyone else laughs.

“I’m 16, asshole,” you say, having heard that phrase one too many times. The Drax dude laughs loudly, and points at Peter.

“The small girl is feisty! I like her!” he loudly says, doubling over in laughter. You just scowl. Thor claps his hands, and tries to change the subject.

“Alright! Quill, how far away are we from the compound?” Thor asks in his booming voice. Peter walks over to the front of the ship to check something, at which point you realize that no one is flying the ship. You figure it must be on autopilot.

“We should be there in about 30 minutes,” Quill says, taking a seat. Thor smiles and claps your back a bit too hard, and you stumble forward. Before you can fall, he catches you by your shoulder, and pulls you back up. You turn to him, frowning. He smiles sheepishly.

“Sorry, I’m used to doing that with my friends. They’re quite built.” You let out a small smile, and move to sit on the floor. Thor moves to talk to the raccoon, and you’re left all alone. You put your head in your hands, wondering how this could have happened to you. Did you get teleported to an alternate universe, or did something else happen? A small sob escapes your mouth, and then when you feel a small hand on your back, you look up. The tree named Groot is standing next to you, giving you a small smile. You smile back, glad to have him care, even if he is just a branch.

“I am Groot,” he says, almost sympathetically. While you have no idea what he’s trying to say, you appreciate the gesture.

“Even though I have no idea what that means, thanks. I just don’t know what to do. Nothing makes sense, there’s gods now, and raccoons and trees can talk.” You put your head back in your hands, overwhelmed by the absurdity of it all. Then, you feel him poke your arm, you slowly look up, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes. Groot holds out his Game Boy to you. You reach out and gingerly take it, looking at the game he’s playing. It looks like a game your parents would have played when they were kids. It’s called Arcade Defender. You press a button, and the screen starts up. You smile and start shooting the fuck out of those aliens.

For the next thirty minutes, you and a talking tree sit next to each other, taking turns playing a game from the ‘80s, while riding in a spaceship with a literal god, a talking raccoon, two aliens, and an asshole human. You’re just actually starting to enjoy yourself when Thor walks over to you two, a smile on his face at seeing you having some form of fun.

“Sorry, Y/N, but we’re almost to the compound. It’s better to stand and hold something while landing,” he says, feeling bad to have to disrupt your enjoyment. You nod and stand up with Groot, and hand him the Game Boy. Just as you stand up, the ship moves considerably, and you nearly fall over, but Groot catches you.

“Thanks,” you say, smiling at the tree. You lean on the wall until the ship lands, trying your best not to fall. You notice Quill staring at you, a weird look on his face. He probably thinks you’re just an idiot for not knowing how to stand on a landing spaceship. Dick.

“Ok, everyone, we’re here,” Quill says. He looks over at you and Thor. “You guys can head on out, we’ll be here when you’re ready to leave, Thor.” All eyes turn to you, and you just want to shrivel up and die, but not before screaming, “I didn’t ask for this! I’m not some spectacle to look at! I’m a normal human being!” But you keep your mouth shut. You don’t want to draw any more attention to yourself that you already have.

Thor turns to you before walking towards the ramp, which has lowered itself to the ground. You follow him, wrapping your arms around your midsection. You slowly walk down the ramp, the sunlight blinding your eyes. You put your hand above them to be able to see, and are met with a sight to behold.

Before you stand two people, a man and a woman. The woman is normal enough looking, with her brown hair up in a bun. However, the man is the one that catches you off guard. He’s wearing a long black coat, almost like the one the Quill dude was wearing- actually, everything he’s wearing is black. He’s also wearing an eyepatch over his left eye.

“This the one Thor?” the man asks, with a voice deep and loud enough to make you jump. He eyes you quite aggressively, and you shrink into yourself.

“Yes, this is Y/N L/N. Thought it would be best to bring her to you since you have, ah, expertise in this area.”

The man side eyes you. “You could say that,” he says, looking you right in the eye. You shift your legs uncomfortably, not sure how to read this man. He clears his throat. “I’m Director Fury of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Logistics and Enforcement Division, more commonly known as SHIELD,” he says to you in greeting, but does not extend his hand. “This is Agent Hill,” he says, gesturing towards the woman besides him. She gives you a tight lipped smile. “Ms. L/N, if you would follow me please,” Fury asks, but you don’t really think you have a choice. He and Hill start to walk towards the building, and you follow suit, but you notice a lack of presence beside you. You turn around, and notice Thor just standing there, not walking with you.

You stop, and look at him quizzically. He gives you a small smile.

“Aren’t you coming?” you ask, your voice coming out small and scared. Fury and Hill stop walking behind you. Thor shakes his head sadly, looking at you with something you can’t pinpoint in his eyes. Even though you may have only met a few hours ago, he’s the one person you trust (besides Groot), and he seems to have grown quite fond of you as well.

“I must attend to my duties with the Guardians. I really am sorry that I can’t stay with you Y/N, but I trust Fury and Hill very much. I have no doubt they will help you with your problems.” You know Thor truly means what he says, but you’re scared. You start to feel your lungs constrict, and it’s getting hard to breathe. You hear Thor trying to talk to you, but you can’t tell what he’s saying. Then you hear Fury’s booming voice yelling at you.

“Ms. L/N, you need to calm down. Please come with us,” he says, an edge of wariness in his voice. You shake your head, the world still spinning around you, your lungs betraying you. Why is he leaving you? You have no one left from your life, and now the one person whom you trust is leaving too?

You have no sense of your surroundings until you feel someone grab your wrist. However gently they grabbed it, you still freak out, and feel a wave of energy move through you. The next thing you know, you see Fury flying across the lawn, and Hill is yelling into something in her hand. Everyone is yelling and you can’t handle it. You start screaming yourself, sobs wracking your body.

You hear loud footsteps running towards you, and a hand grabs your upper arm harshly. You wrench yourself out of the iron grip, screaming at the person.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me!” you scream, and are vaguely aware of another large, muscled man flying through the air. Everyone is yelling, and you’re overwhelmed. You put your hands over your ears, wanting to block out the noise, but it does next to nothing. You continue to sob, your chest heaving from your hyperventilating and continued wails.

With everything going on around you, you fail to notice the bodies coming from behind you, grabbing your arms and shoulders stringently. You try to fight them off, but before the energy makes its way through you, you feel a blinding pain in the small of your back, concurrent with the loud sound of electricity crackling. You scream and fall to your knees, and the hands force you down. A sharp prick is felt on your neck, and even in seconds, you already feel yourself drifting away. The hands turn you over, and before you slip into unconsciousness, you hear Thor’s voice.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You’ll be alright.”

————————————————————————————————

Taglist:

@eridanuswave

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe: The Fantastic Mutants chapter 5: Never Again (originally posted on November 16, 2020)

AN: Good to see you all again my dear readers! How have things  been? Am I being too intrusive? Well, doesn't matter! It's good to be  back in business after a few weeks, so let's just cut to the chase, shall we?

--

"So  how much of this show is actual camping?" HYDRA Bob asked Peridot as  they, along with Deadpool & Lapis, watched Camp Pining Hearts  together at the X-Mansion while surrounded by massive amounts of snack  foods and garbage. "A fair bit, but pretty much everyone comes for the  romance," Peridot answered. "Yeah," Wade stated. "like your crippling yaoi addiction."

"What is yah-oy?" Lapis asked while  mispronouncing this new word just as Pearl came in with a broom. "You really should learn how to pick up after yourselves as guests." The Gem  grumbled while sweeping up crumbs off the carpet. "Hey, wise up Pearl,  I'm basically an honorary member!" Deadpool remarked. "Hey, Flat-Top,  gimme a refill on my coke here!"

"And you should also treat the  people housing you like friends, not your servants." Colossus reminded  them, just as disgruntled as Pearl, while he gave the Merc with a Mouth another bottle of pop when suddenly, Xavier came in. "Ah, Professor!  Would you be so kind as to help us teach Wade here some manners?"

"It's alright, Piotr." Xavier calmed the metal mutant down. "Although Mr.  Wilson here can be a bit of a nuisance, we do need all the help we can  get to rescue Steven and Kitty."

"Thanks for the save Cap'n." Wade  grinned at the aged mutant when someone knocked at the window. "Hey,  anyone in there?!" the voice of Spider-Man called from outside, latching  upside down onto the glass. "Peter!" Pearl exclaimed. "Long time no  see. How are the other Avengers doing?"

"The big six are off in  space right now, and the reserves are holding down the fort for now."  The web-slinger answered as he opened the window and leaped through it.  "When your message reached us, I was the first to take it and brought  along a few pals who might be useful."

As Peter finished talking, a  silver and blue blur burst through the front doors, stopping to reveal  itself as Quicksilver. "Pietro, good to see you!" Colossus exclaimed.  "Must mean Wanda isn't too far behind, da?"

"You are correct."  Scarlet Witch answered as she followed her brother. "Hello again Crystal  Gems." She greeted the Gems. "Hello to you and Pietro too, Wanda,"  Garnet replied as she stepped into the room. "It certainly has been a  while since Thanos. I hope you both are well."

"Oh, never better  Garney!" Quicksilver responded as he sat down between Peridot &  Lapis to watch Camp Pining Hearts with them. "Ooh, I love this show! I  always felt Pierre & Percy have really good chemistry."

"Thank  you for agreeing with me good sir." Peridot added pridefully. "Oh, quit with the shit already!" Wade interjected crossly. "No one ever talks about Pierre and Paulette!"

"You take that back, you crimson clod." Peridot snarled threateningly at the mercenary and soon, an  intense shipping debate between the two began. "Oh, this could take a long while." Pearl sighed in exhaustion.

"I just watch for all the crazy shenanigans these campers get up to." Spider-Man gave his opinion while snatching some snicker-doodles from the ottoman.

--

"Come on, work!" Kitty groaned in frustration as she continuously tried and failed to break her and Steven from their imprisonment without using her mutant powers. "If only I could find a way to break this collar, then  we'd get outta here easier."

"Why don't I give it a shot?" Steven  suggested, deciding to use his shield to cut the bars apart. However, that failed as well. "It's hopeless. If I didn't come, then maybe we wouldn't be stuck here."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up like that  Steven." Kitty comforted her fellow mutant. "I'm sure the Gems are  already on their way to save us, so try and keep your chin up until  then." She implored Steven, but he remained downtrodden. "Let's face it;  we're here because of my mom."

"Oh, mother issues?" Kitty  realized. "I get it. That's perfectly normal. But you can't always let  the sins of the parent bring you down." She assured him. "Yeah, sins  like taking part in universal genocide before realizing that wasn't good  and instead doing things far worse than that." Steven grumbled, much to  her surprise. "Whoa okay, didn't see that coming!" Kitty exclaimed.  "Far worse how? Did she actually murder someone?"

"She  deliberately left tons of Gems and other races to die for her just  because she was bored of being Pink Diamond, let two of my friends to be  imprisoned for thousands of years, forced Gems who cared for her to  suffer from her faked death and who knows what else!" Steven complained.  "And then there was that whole thing with Magneto."

As if on cue,  the aforementioned leader of the Brotherhood of Mutants stepped into  the brig to interrogate them. "I see you've been making yourselves at  home while you could." He declared before grabbing Steven by the shirt  collar through the cell bars. "Tell me boy, why do you have her  gemstone? Was it passed down to you?"

"As a matter of fact, yes."  Steven answered. "When I was born, my mom died to give birth to me, and I  got her gemstone and all her powers as a result. She also left me with  all her baggage from ages ago, including when she was once a member of  the Great Diamond Authority."

"Great Diamond Authority?" Magneto  wondered, and Kitty seemed just as confused. "Yeah, I have to agree.  There are more Diamonds out there?"

"That's not important right  now," Steven said before Magneto set him down. "Still, why go after me in particular? We're both mutants. We should be on the same side!"

"You already know about how Rose abandoned me at Auschwitz, but the Gems only told you half the story," Erik revealed, turning away from Steven  & Kitty in the process. "My part of this tale is far more complex  than you realize. Like many a Jew during the war, I was prosecuted by  the Nazis for my religion and sentenced to death. But I was a special  case."

--

Heavy rain poured upon  Poland in 1944 as a large group of imprisoned Jews marched sorrowfully  through Auschwitz, their world nothing but drab colors aside from the  bright yellow Star of David on their clothes signifying their religion.  All around them, more of their people were forced to perform possibly  lethal jobs for their superiors and be treated horribly should they fail  to work or try to resist.

One young man in particular named Erik  Lehnsherr watched just as miserably as his fellow Jews and began to  notice that many of the other prisoners had brands on their arms. As  soldiers began coldly leading their prisoners away from the group,  Erik's parents Edie & Jacob were forcefully separated like the rest  from their son, with Edie being particularly hysterical about having to  leave her child.

Erik raced after his parents in an effort to see  them one last time, but the gates closed before he could get a chance,  and another Nazi grabbed the boy to keep him under control. However,  something miraculous happened. When Erik fruitlessly reached out towards  the gate, it began bending towards him. Another Nazi aided his fellow  soldier in detaining the boy, and two more raced towards him as the  fence began twisting more and more.

Erik's mutant powers awakened  that day as the gates were ripped open with a mere stretch of his hand,  but he was quickly stopped with the butt of a gun to his head from a  fifth soldier. "Bring ihn zu Dr. Schmidt." that soldier commanded his  subordinates. The four Nazis nodded and dragged the unconscious boy  away, to where his destiny would soon be realized.

--

"And  that's where you first met his mom, right?" Kitty asked her captor.  "Yeah, I don't think we need to hear how she ditched you again."

"As I stated, the story is much deeper than that," Magneto said. "Allow me to continue."

--

Soon,  HYDRA had come to assist the Nazis in stopping the Howling Commandos  and the Crystal Gems from instigating the Auschwitz breakout. As Rose  began fighting off soldiers, she began counting off the fleeing Jews.  "Let me see how many we got," Rose muttered while trying to do a  headcount. "Agh, there's too many of them! I can barely keep count when  I'm surrounded like this!"

"Less than a million!" Garnet counted  for her leader with her future vision. "However, there are still a few  that we were too late to save, namely the Lehnsherr family. Klaus  Schmidt is holding their son Erik."

"Klaus?" Rose soon came to a  realization. "That was the boy in the office! I have to go ba-" Before  Rose could finish, a HYDRA enforcer took advantage of her letting her  guard down and fired with an anti-Gem weapon, poofing her form.

"Rose!"  Pearl exclaimed while rushing to the deactivated gem lying on the  ground. While Captain America covered for them with his shield, the Gems  made a hasty retreat. "But what about those other Jews?!" Amethyst  exclaimed. "A few prisoners should take this from here." Garnet  answered, just as the Sonderkommando charged at their captors with guns,  knives, axes, and grenades.

Inside the building where Klaus  Schmidt was stationed, the mutant Jew slithered around the hall to avoid  being caught again. Nazis raced outside to combat without once taking  notice of the boy making his escape. Taking a moment to peek outside the  window, he noticed the Gems escaping the concentration camp and  furrowed his brow angrily. "Sie haben mich verlassen."

As the  warfare continued, Erik quietly made his getaway with his newly awakened  mutant powers and used a wrecked chain fence to fly himself away from  Auschwitz.

--

Many years later in  1963, Magneto was holding a demonstration in New York to make a speech  about the superiority of mutants when she showed up again. Rose Quartz  had decided to show her face to him again after leaving him to rot all  those years ago in Auschwitz, and only now, she shows up with an excuse  to try and make peace.

"You can try to rope yourself into my good  graces all you want Gems," he growled, preparing to fight the Crystal  Gems. "But nothing can ever change the past!"

Ripping a nearby  water tower off its supports, Erik prepared to smash it on top of Rose,  Garnet & Pearl, but then came a loud shriek coming from the Irish  mutant Sean Cassidy, aka Banshee. "Top o' the mornin' to you ladies!"  Banshee exclaimed and let out another scream that brought the master of  magnetism to the ground. "Now Neal!"

"I got you!" the Indian  pyrokinetic Neal Shaara, or Thunderbird to his teammates, boomed while  turning his body into plasma and landing a few hits on Magneto, but the  German fought back by expanding a force-field that pushed him back.  "Longshot, Angel, Mimic, it's all you now!"

"You got it!" Longshot  replied while standing on a rooftop with Mimic and Angel Salvadore and  preparing to throw a large knife at Magneto. "Just got one shot at  this." He muttered to himself just as Amethyst hopped up behind him.  "Hey, what you guys doing?" she asked the three mutants, catching  Longshot off-guard. "Do you mind squirt?!" Longshot barked, but then he  noticed her gem. "Say, you wouldn't happen to know those three, right?"

"We  can discuss it later!" Angel said while sprouting fly-like wings and  flying off. "Hey, wait for me!" Mimic exclaimed, copying his teammate's  power by growing insect wings of his own and soaring after her.

"You  guys wouldn't happen to be like ol' Maggy over there?" Amethyst  continued asking Longshot, who harshly shushed her while trying to keep  his concentration. "Okay, sheesh!"

"Now Longshot!" Banshee  exclaimed as he let out a loud shriek at Magneto to knock him  off-balance, allowing Longshot to fling his knife at the evil mutant.  But Erik stopped the blade before it could reach his face with his  powers and threw it right at Pearl with a wicked grin.

"Pearl,  no!" Rose cried out as she dove in front of her confidant, letting the  knife stab her instead, causing her to ultimately poof and retreat into her gem.

"Rose!" the remaining Gems shouted, racing to protect  their leader's inactive gemstone from Magneto. "Well, that should do  nicely for now." He snidely muttered. "But know this Crystal Gems, we  shall meet again someday soon. Even if we have to wait years to do so!"

With  that, Magneto zoomed off into the sky and left the Crystal Gems &  the X-Men below. "So, sorry about letting your boss end up like this."  Longshot nervously apologized. "That was my knife he threw at her after  all."

"It's alright. Rose will recover soon." Garnet assured the mutant. "By the way, I didn't get your name."

"Call  me Longshot, leader of the X-Men!" Longshot proudly replied. "These are  my teammates; Banshee, Mimic, Angel Salvadore, and Thunderbird. We're  all mutants."

"It is a pleasure to meet you." Thunderbird greeted,  extending a hand to Pearl. "Mutants? I think I remember meeting one, centuries ago." Pearl replied, shaking Neal's hand. "You wouldn't happen  to know anyone named En Sabah Nur?"

This revelation caused the  X-Men to gasp in shock. "Wait, you met Apocalypse?!" Mimic cried. "Let  me guess, you guys know him as a real bad guy?" Amethyst quipped. "Yeah,  he's about yay tall, superiority complex, total Darwinist." Angel  replied. "Come along. We can tell you more about him."

"And maybe  we'll introduce you to the professor too." Banshee added happily. "We'd  be glad to meet your professor." Pearl agreed, and Garnet & Amethyst  nodded as well.

--

"So that's how the  Gems met Xavier!" Steven realized. "But how come you remember that last  bit happening? You left after poofing Rose."

"Don't think about  it." Magneto assured him. "And now that I have you in our clutches,  watching Doctor Doom experiment on you will be so satisfying."

"But still, you can't just vent your vengeance on a kid!" Kitty exclaimed.

"Yeah,  this isn't what Xavier would want!" Steven replied, forcing Magneto to  drop his stoic façade. "He knows you can be better than this, barring  the terrorism. You're both on the same wavelength when it comes to  protecting mutants, but kidnapping one of your own for your own sake is  just wrong!"

"Y'know, that does seem like something Charles would  say. Though he would've said it better." Magneto relented, pressing a button on the cell to let Steven and Kitty out. "Fight them off while  you still can children. I shall take the blame myself."

"Okay Steven, let's get outta here!" Kitty declared excitedly. "And no matter what happens, I got your back!"

"Actually  Kit, I think I got yours." Steven replied, just as another door opened,  and Mystique stepped into the brig. "Erik! Why have you let the  prisoners out?" she asked Magneto. "It was the boy who convinced me."  Erik revealed. "As it turns out, he's quite good at turning people to  his side."

"Well, you're too late child." Mystique said to Steven. "We have finally landed in Latveria."

--

The  Crystal Gems, X-Men, Fantastic Four, X-Force, Spider-Man, Scarlet  Witch, and Quicksilver all marched to the Blackbird, ready to go out to  Latveria and save Steven & Kitty. Human Torch and Cyclops were in  charge of piloting the plane while Xavier planted his wheelchair in the  back.

"So tell us what we're in for Reed." Garnet asked Mister  Fantastic, who gave a sharp sigh of regret. "You should know by now that  Doctor Doom is our family's greatest adversary. Intelligence on par  with my own, mastery of the mystic arts, psionic abilities, the works."  Reed explained. "But what I'm sure you probably don't know yet was that  we knew Doom long before he turned out like this."

--

"Victor,  have you gone mad?!" a younger Reed yelled at his college classmate  Victor, who was standing in front of a large machine generating an  unstable portal. "This machine is highly unstable and could explode at  any moment!"

"I do not care what it takes, Richards!" the man who  would be king of Latveria cried as the machine was on the verge of  self-destructing. "This is the only way I can see my mother again!"

"Hey  Stretch, we got everyone outta here!" Ben Grimm, back then a normal  human being instead of a large rock creature, called for his classmate  while he, Johnny and Sue burst into the laboratory. "You gotta come with  us!"

"No Reed, we can see our mothers again, together!" Doom  tried convincing his rival. Reed hesitated for a moment, weighing his  options between escaping with his friends or getting to see his late  mother Evelyn again. But as he made his decision, he turned away from  Victor. "I'm sorry Vic. But I've moved on."

"How dare you?!"  Victor screeched, while his four contemporaries fled the scene. "Don't  you dare run away! We could've been something more!" Just then, the  portal machine has just about reached its boiling point, and caused the  lab to explode with Doom inside. The last thing he said before the room  collapsed on him was a scream of "RIIIIIIIIICHAAAAAAAARDS!"

--

"Never  saw him again after that incident. Ol' Iron Mask got expelled, then he  just vanished offa the face of the planet." Ben regaled in the present  day. "That is until he re-emerged as some young upstart billionaire  named Victor Domashev, who funded the space flight that made us into the  Four we are today."

"Hey guys, less backstory, more blasting  off!" Amethyst snapped her fingers. "Pretty sure Steven might be on his  way to being dissected by now!"

"Yeah, and a certain author friend  of ours wants to get this out as quickly as possible." Deadpool agreed,  his medium-aware comment inciting odd stares from the others. "Can we  move onto the next scene already?!"

--

As  Mystique had declared, Steven was now in the European country of  Latveria, famously ruled by the Fantastic Four's arch-nemesis Victor von  Doom. He and Kitty were led through the aesthetically medieval capital  city Doomstadt, where its citizens whispered in German, Hungarian and an  unknown third language reminiscent of the latter dialect.

"Victor, we have brought the child. And an unwanted guest." Mystique announced  in front of Doom's castle as they crossed the drawbridge. The castle was  guarded by numerous robot soldiers that bore Doom's face, all of them  giving Steven cold and unfeeling glares as he was finally brought before the man who's face the robots bore.

"Steven Universe." Doctor  Doom boomed, resting on his throne while the boy was handcuffed in front of him. "I have heard much about you these past few months child. Erik,  I must commend you for getting the job done, although I've heard of  your possible betrayal and won't tolerate it." Then Doom turned to  Mystique. "Thank you Ms. Darkholme for alerting me of this before you  arrived.

"You are most kind Doctor." Mystique thanked him with a bow. "We hope you return your end of the bargain and grant us mutants  sanctuary in Latveria."

"Raven, you must listen!" Magneto cried to  his second in command. "This boy calls himself a mutant, just like us!  We can't just let Victor experiment on him like this. What if he has  something else planned?!"

"SILENCE!" the king of Latveria roared.  "It seems this child has made you soft Mr. Lehnsherr. No matter." He  rose from his throne and stepped towards Steven & Kitty to give them  a good look. "He shall become useful to me soon. And as for the girl, take her away."

"Yes your Highness." Mystique complied, snapping her fingers to have Juggernaut take Kitty away.

"Hey,  put me down!" Kitty hissed, struggling to break free from the massive  mutant's hands, which was easier said than done since her powers were  still restrained. "Don't worry Steven, I'll find a way to save you!"

"Ah  shaddup!" Juggernaut groaned loudly, stuffing a big finger inside the  smaller girl's mouth to keep her quiet when Mystique put a hand on his  bicep. "And what do you want Bluey?"

"It's about Erik. We may  resort to terrorism to fight for mutant rights, but I think allowing a  child to be experimented on may be going a bit too far." Raven whispered  to Cain while they moved farther away from Doom. "Besides, he is a  mutant much like us."

"So I've heard." The Juggernaut muttered. "But shouldn't he count more as an alien because his momma was one?"

When  the Brotherhood mutants left the throne room, Steven was left all alone  with Magneto and Doom. "What do you want with me Doom?" Steven asked the king. "Was it really necessary to have the Brotherhood kidnap me  when you could've had your robots do it?"

"Why I couldn't have  just sent my Doombots doesn't matter." Doom declared. "But what does  matter is what I want to do to you. You see, you're special Steven, as  you probably know. A being who's a mixture of human and alien DNA, and  that alien DNA might prove very important to me." He explained to  Steven. "I wish to use those genes for my own ends. Perhaps make an army  of similar beings, or perhaps become part-Gem myself to gain ultimate  power! Which is why I chose you in particular."

"Doctor, an  invading ship is approaching Doomstadt." A Doombot announced as it  walked into the throne room. "Shall we send out the reinforcements you  selected?"

"You may, #1961." Doom replied, pressing a few buttons on his arms that opened a door, and behind it were four supervillains.

Trapster, a man in goggles with a container of glue-like substance on his back, attached to a hose with a gun at the end.

Mole Man, a deformed midget in a green suit with a blue visor who was holding a staff in his hand.

The  Puppet Master, a bald, dark-skinned man accompanied by a pair of  human-sized marionettes in the shape of the Human Torch and the Thing,  that he controlled with a special remote.

And the Wizard, a purple armor-wearing supergenius who floated in the air with special anti-gravity discs.

"Frightful  Four, it seems we have some uninvited guests." Doom revealed to the  four villains. "I insist you deal with them at once, while I make my  little guest here at home."

"Yes Doctor." The Frightful Four said  in unison, then the marched out of the throne room to battle. Once again  Steven was alone in the throne room with Victor & Erik, and the  former was all too eager to get things started.

"Now then, shall we begin testing?" Doom asked Steven maliciously, and Steven replied with a very nervous gulp.

--

After  three months of work, it's finally done! We're getting close to the end  of this guys, and I couldn't be more excited. But for now, I think I'm  gonna take a little break to focus on college stuff for a bit, and I'll  be back soon with not just a new chapter, but also a brand spankin' new  Steven Universe tale I've had on the brain for a while. It's an AU  rewrite of Steven Universe Future aptly named Steven Universe: Alternate  Future. If you want to know more about this upcoming series, I've  already got an entire episode list on my DeviantArt page along with  drawings of some original characters created for it. Until we meet  again, toodle-oo!

In Loving Memory of Sean Connery

1930-2020

& Alex Trebek

1940-2020

[varricmancer]

Intertwined | 3

*** Cross-posted on AO3 ***

Pairing: Farkas x F!OC

Summary: A child of Mara was a soul blessed and bound to it’s mate for all eternity. Elizabeth Williams is summoned to Mara as a lost soul, only she’s from modern America and her mate is somewhere in the wilds of Skyrim.

A/N: This is super short, I know, but I wanted to put out something for you guys. Things have been hectic in my life and I've been working 13+ hours six days a week for a while now so I'm pretty much in a constant state of exhaustion. I hope you're all staying healthy and safe. I'll try to have the next part out very soon!P.S. I know that in ESO they've said 'Hell' quite often, but that's always bothered me. Why would they call it hell? That is a Christian-based earth word, or whatever, and it just seemed strange to include it. So I'm fighting against the ESO writers lmao.

***

“Ralof, I think your friend here is finally awake!”

Elizabeth groaned as she came to and registered that she hurt everywhere. The worst of the pain seemed to be on her leg since she’d flexed it a little to try to move and the pain was sharp and agonizing.

“Easy there,” a woman’s voice eased her to awareness as she opened her eyes, meeting the blue ones of a blonde Nord woman leaning over her.

“Please don’t be frightened. My brother Ralof and your elf companion brought you here after you were attacked by the dragon. You’ll heal, but your leg suffered a little in the fall and your skin was badly burned. You will be well enough to walk in a couple of days, and then I suggest heading to a shrine to see if it will help.”

Elizabeth grimaced as she tried to respond and found her throat dry and sore.

“Ah, you must be thirsty. You’ve been asleep for almost two days.”

She accepted a wooden cup of water and tried to drink as gracefully as she could, despite her shaking hands and parched throat. When she finally had her fill, she handed the cup back to the woman sitting on the edge of the wooden bed.

Looking around, she tried to take stock of her situation. She was laid up in a rustic wooden bed, covered in what looked like a bunch of animal skins. The house was very warm and just as rustic as the bed - all wood and furs, with a huge fireplace taking up most of the space. It looked pretty much how she’d always imagined a witch's cottage would be like, with all the herbs and flowers hanging from the ceiling and potions lining the shelves.

She peeked at the woman in the bed with her, trying to get a good look without seeming rude. She was pretty enough, although years of living in the probably unforgiving northern climate had definitely left its mark, as well as a few scars that were probably smallpox if this place was indeed real. She imagined this must be Gerdur, meaning the dark elf had chosen to follow Ralof home to Riverwood.

The front door of the cabin opens and dirty Kurt - or Ralof, rather - stomps inside, smiling generously at her as he nears the bed and looks her over.

“Awake at last? You had us all worried for a moment there, girl. I’ve sent my nephew Frodnar to get Sundrose. He’s been helping the merchants with a task. He’ll be here soon.”

As though speaking his name had summoned him, Sundrose slammed the cabin door open and jogged to the bedside, seemingly unaware of the fact that he totally elbowed Ralof and Gerdur out of the way. He was panting as though he’d run the entire way and scanning her face frantically.

“Are you alright? Aware? How many fingers am I holding up?”

Elizabeth snorts at the Dark Elf. “None.”

He looks down at his hands as if he were amazed that they were still against his sides.

“Ah,” he cleared his throat. “Apologies. We weren’t sure you were going to make it for a moment. It’s been some time since anyone had experience with dragon wounds.”

“I’m a bit sore and my leg is throbbing like hell, but I think I’ll be okay.”

He looked momentarily confused, as though he was trying to figure out her meaning before he finally shrugged and sighed.

“That’s good. Very good. I’ve finished some tasks around here and made enough coin to get us to Whiterun as soon as you think you are able to travel. It’s not that far - perhaps three days if we make good time? Gerdur’s husband Hod has very kindly offered to drive us up there in his wagon to make it easier on your injuries.”

“Us? You’re taking me with you?” Honestly, she hadn’t really let herself think too much in-depth about where the hell she actually was, but her first instinct had told her the elf would simply leave her here to be Ralof’s problem and run off to be the Dragonborn.

“Well, yes. I...erm...could we perhaps be in private for a moment? I promise your belongings are safe, I merely wish to speak with my friend if I could?”

Gerdur glances between the two of them and waits for Elizabeth’s nod of affirmation before herding her brother towards the door.

“We’ll be right outside. Holler if you need us,” Gerdur says with a nod, closing the door softly behind her.

Sundrose sighs and settles more comfortably in his chair before turning that intense crimson gaze on her.

“Before we were captured, do you remember where you were?”

Elizabeth chewed her lip as she contemplated how much to tell the man. Would he believe her more about her talk of the future or being in Mara’s garden? Should she play it safe and say she’d just arrived from High Rock?

His full lips turned up on the side, a little dimple showing as he slowly grinned.

“Were you in an ostentatiously decorated garden? Perhaps speaking with a creature claiming to be Mara?”

“Yes!” Elizabeth exclaims, leaning towards him in excitement. “Were you there too? Are you... him ?”

“By ‘Him’ I assume you mean your soulmate?” He asks slowly, shrugging as he turns to stare at the wall in thought. He strokes his shadowed chin, humming.

“I...don’t know, to be quite honest. Not a phrase I like using very often. I was there with you - I remember feeling you, seeing flashes of your face and the face of someone else. I remember thinking that your soul felt...familiar. Which is a very odd thought to have about a soul. I would say yes based on that information alone, but there was another…”

“Another face, you said?”

He nods thoughtfully. “Like yours but different. I don’t know. It was very fogged over like Mara didn’t want me to get a good look. Perhaps a you from another life?” He shrugs. “At the very least, I know that when we were returned to ground that I immediately felt protective of you as soon as I saw you lying there unconscious. Before I could really think too much about it, the Imperials appeared and threw us in the wagon.”

“So all the evidence points to us being something. Maybe soulmates, but also maybe not?” Elizabeth huffs and flaps back against the wall. “This is so confusing. And a lot less romantic than I’d thought it would be to meet the future love of my life.”

He laughs, a low and smooth chuckle that was...elegant? Can laughs be elegant?

“Terribly sorry. At least there’s a chance you won’t have to deal with me then. I’m not a very romantic fellow to begin with, I’m afraid. The dramatics tend to become tedious after the first hundred years or so.”

Elizabeth’s jaw drops. She’d forgotten about the way races aged differently here. “How old are you?”

Sundrose quirks an eyebrow. “Terribly rude to ask that, little one, but I’ll tell you. I’m 214. Fairly young still, among my people. And of course, my soulmate has to be a human that is a veritable infant,” Sundrose drawls, his slight mischievous smirk softening the teasing words.

“Hey, I just turned 30! In human years, I’m ancient!”

“Forgive me, crone,” he mocked, bowing slightly.

Elizabeth snorted, then adjusted her aching leg with a sigh.

“When did you want to leave?”

He shrugged. “Whenever you think you can handle it. We need to warn the Jarl about the dragon, so as soon as can be arranged is preferable. If it’s much longer we’ll have to send someone ahead of us.”

She shook her head and squared her shoulders. “Let's go today.”

“Today?” he asked incredulously, “You just barely have regained consciousness. I hardly think you should be going on a journey at the moment.”

“No,” she shook her head. “The sooner we get there, the better. You need to talk to the Jarl, and I would like to get to a healer or one of those altar things. This hurts like hell.”

“You say that a lot. Hell. What is that?”

“Oh, its...like oblivion, I guess? It’s where bad people go when they die...or something. It’s what a lot of people believe. Never really believed in that stuff myself, but it makes a hell of a curse word,” she grins.

He looks at her thoughtfully for a few moments before he finally asks, “You’re not even from here, are you? Where did she take you from?”

And there’s the magic question.

“Apparently my soul is from here, but it was stolen? I’m still not quite clear on that. I grew up in Arizona, a state in America. On, well, planet Earth. A place that is...way far in the future and, like, on a whole ‘nother...universe? Plane? Realm? I don’t know. Very different from here, I can tell you that much.”

“And she just picked you up and deposited you in a strange land with just the clothes on your back to correct her own mistakes,” he added, his eyes hardening. “I despise the daedra,” he scoffs angrily.

“At least I’m not going into this completely blind, just, ya know, poor and homeless,” she chuckles. “In my world, Skyrim is a...tale? Legend? Not sure how to describe it to you, but I know the basic story of this land and what's to come.”

“Do you?” Sundrose responds, leaning back and looking at her curiously.

“Mhmm. In fact, I know that when you went to help Lucan get his claw back, you came across a wall. A wall that taught you a word in another language that you were somehow able to understand. You also found a tablet with this same language written on it.”

“I haven’t told anyone about that yet. I was going to wait and talk to the court wizard when we got to Whiterun. Your stories told you about me?”

She bit her lip, unsure of how much to divulge. “Yes, a bit. You’re about to save Skyrim, Sundrose.”

He stared at her with growing horror on his handsome face.

“Gods’ grief!”

***

[hawksonfire]

2019: Year In Review

Seeing as how this is the first year that I’ve really written a lot (or anything at all), I thought I’d try out this ‘year in review’ thing. 

This year was the first year (ever) that I’d really put my words out into the world. I was honestly terrified to post my first work on Ao3 - what if no one liked it? What if I got hate for it? And worst of all, what if it was terrible? 

I’m glad to say that none of that even came close to happening. I’m so lucky to have fumbled my way into the Marvel fandom, specifically the Winterhawk portion of it, because it’s just such a welcoming place. Everyone I’ve met has been so welcoming and uplifting, and I can honestly say that there are a few people (everyone) that come to mind who I hope will be with me for years to come.

Back to fic - At the beginning of this year, I had one fic on Ao3 - a 2018 Kinktober fic. At this very moment, I have 100+ fics with over 380k words between them. I’ve written fic for people, gotten fic from people, and posted stuff just for the hell of it. 2019 was a good year for my wording progress, and I can only hope that 2020 beats it.

Accomplishments under the cut! :) 

Stats

Word Count: 380,035

Fic Count: 130 

Fics

Captain Cockblock - a Winterhawk fic in which Steve is constantly cockblocking Bucky and Clint. It was the very first thing I posted in 2019, and I can genuinely say that I was terrified.

Revenge Against Captain Cockblock - the sequel to Captain Cockblock, in which Clint and Bucky (and Sam) get revenge on Steve for the way he kept cockblocking them. First sequel!! I was excited about this one.

Aggressively Progressive - a Stucky fic where Steve tells the press (and other assorted people) exactly what he thinks about the not vaccinating your children (among other things).

How It Should Have Gone - This fic. God, this fic. This was really the first multi-chapter long fic that I had attempted, and I had no idea how it was going to be accepted. It’s set before, during, and after the first Avengers, and in it, Steve attends university, falls in love with Clint and Natasha, and saves the world. It’s canon-adjacent, and I swear this is probably the fic I am most proud of to date.

Steve Rogers: Unapologetic Slut - A 5+1 fic I did as part of the BDBD slutty!Steve challenge. It was definitely a ton of fun to write and as a bonus, it introduced me to the 5+1 trope which I can now say is a favourite of mine.

there is a house in new orleans (they call the rising sun) - A birthday fic for the amazing @kangofu-cb (even though it was late) because she deserves all the nice things, dammit.

i need something to believe in (throw my hands up to the ceiling) - I realized one day, that my best bro @flowerparrish has literally written so much fic for me (check out zir Ameriwinterhawk series, aka, the ‘pornathon verse’ and this Amerihawk sex pollen fic) and yet, somehow, I had not written zir a single thing? This could not stand. So I made my amazing friend choose a whole bunch of prompts from a list, then slammed together a bunch of them into one 68-chapter long fic to be updated as needed. 

Events

MCU Kink Bingo Round 3 - Somehow, I am unsurprised that the very first event I joined this year was a kink bingo. A series of 16 works of various ships and kinks.

Clint Barton Bingo - Clint has always been one of my favourite Marvel characters, so as soon as I saw that this bingo was accepting sign-ups, I had to do it. And I did! It resulted in 19 works from the first round (and more to come from the second round) with Clint being paired with various Marvel characters (but mostly Bucky). 

Mandatory Fun Day - At this point in the year, I was fully inside the Winterhawk dumpster. The lovely mods over at @mandatoryfunday provide weekly prompts for us Winterhawklings to enjoy, and although I haven’t made a fill for this in a while, I definitely enjoyed the ones I did make and hope to make more in 2020.

Star Spangled Bingo - Yes, another bingo. I think this was my third one, but there were plenty more to come. I had a lot of fun participating in this one!

Bucky Barnes Bingo - Bucky, next to Clint, is another favourite character of mine, and I am so glad that the mods over at @buckybarnesbingo decided to do a second round in 2020. They can count on my sign-up, for sure.

Stucky Bingo - While it’s only got one fic so far, I’m definitely planning on writing more for it. XD

Captain America Reverse Big Bang: A Tail of Two Idiots - This!! This was my first RBB and I was incredibly lucky to be paired with the amazing @astaraiches-oisinn. She created some gorgeous art of Steve and Bucky at a dog park, and somehow I managed to write nearly 31.5k and post it on time! But I could not have done it without her, love you bb <333333

Winterhawk Reverse Big Bang: Main Attraction - holy fuck, y’all. I’d been a massive fan of @kangofu-cb and her words and art for a while at this point, and when I found out that we’d been paired together for the RBB? I’m pretty sure my screech broke windows. She was an absolute joy to work with and I’m glad to say that we’re now friends (we’re friends, right CB? Please let me have this) and she brightens up my day whenever I talk to her.

MCU Rarepairs Bingo - Again, there’s only one fic here but I’ve definitely got some fics planned for it.

Winterhawk Bingo - Alright, look. While I am well aware that I join too many events (no one can stop me) I am also aware that I like to run things. Thus, Winterhawk Bingo was born. It’s been a joy to run and a joy to participate in, and I’ve made even more friends for me to love with this event.

Kinktober 2019 - This was my second year in a row doing Kinktober, but I had way more fun this year because I opened up the prompt list to a bunch of my friends and followers and offered to write them a kink of their choice (or five). Definitely going to be doing it again that way in 2020.

Marvel Bingo: oh, the good ol’ days - This series is absolutely one of my all-time favourite things that I have ever written. It starts off with Clint/Steve, but as the stories progress, Bucky joins the squad for eventual Steve/Bucky/Clint, or my all-time OT3: Ameriwinterhawk. This series has 24 planned fics, with 20 so far completed. I was aiming to blackout my Marvel Bingo card, so let’s see if we can’t hit that goal, shall we?

Winterhawk Wonderland: noticeable - Hawkie’s first gift exchange! I had a super great time participating in this event (run by the lovely mods over at @winterhawkwonderland) and I can’t wait to do it again next year (if they choose to run it again)!

Marvel Trumps Hate - I signed up for my first charity auction! Look forward to those fics in 2020!

Marvel Reverse Big Bang - Technically, posting is in 2020, but the majority of this event took place in 2019, so I’m counting it.

Fics for Events (that I’m particularly proud of)

Lime Blossoms - While technically a fill for Bucky Barnes Bingo, Clint Barton Bingo, MCU Kink Bingo, and Star Spangled Bingo, this fic holds a special place in my heart. It’s very soft, and it also happens to be the fic that I jammed four different bingo squares into. 

Whatever You Want - A fill for the Soulbond square of my Bucky Barnes Bingo card. Winterhawk, of course, but with a twist. Clint has two soulmarks, and they end up being Bucky and the Winter Soldier. 

Safe - This fic holds is very special to me because in it, Clint is asexual. He has a crush on Bucky but doesn’t know how to go about doing something about it while making his boundaries clear. As an ace person myself who hasn’t always had the best luck with that, this fic was basically me holding up a flashing neon sign going “THIS! THIS IS WHAT I WANT!”

Flags - Another ace fic, but this time with ace!Bucky! Clint helps him as Bucky tries to figure stuff out. It’s basically pure, self-indulgent fluff.

All Bark, All Bite - Ah, yes. Werewolf!Clint and Vampire!Bucky. This is absolutely what kickstarted my obsession with supernatural AU’s, no doubt about it.

i walked with you (once upon a dream) - Another birthday fic! This one was for a friend of mine who isn’t on Tumblr, but she absolutely loves marine life. SO! Of course, I wrote her a 5+1 fic with mer!Bucky and pirate!Clint that somehow turned into 16k words of basically pure fluff.

topsy turvy and upside down - This was a fill for the Mandatory Fun Day prompt “Clint as the Winter Soldier”. God, I had so much fun with this fic and I wrote all 7k of it in like, a day or something, because the words would just not stop flowing.

anything, anything - This. This was written for @flowerparrish as a part of Kinktober, and I honestly have no idea how it became an ace!Steve sex pollen fic, except that it did. I definitely plan to write more ace fics, and more sex pollen fics, and more ace sex pollen fics.

i ain’t proud of my address (in this torn up town) - Affectionately referred to by me as Demon!Clint, this fic will absolutely be updated and completed. At some point. But I give you my word.

That’s all, folks! That sums up my 2019! Well, the fic portion of it anyway. I made so many new friends that I hope stick with me for a long while, I got so many new ideas for fics I plan to write in 2020, and! I learned a few things about myself along the way!

Things to expect from me in 2020:

- Events. So many events. All of the events.

- Fics. SO many. A few for events, a few not.

- I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?

[youweremeanttobehere]

“#OxfordHill” (Clever as a Fox - Part 2)

“Tree of Life and Ouroboros Dragon” art by Szector  Follow-up to “Clever as a Fox,” an “Elsewhere University” short story, created by @charminglyantiquated .  Written by M. E. Grimm  xXx  “There is a worm at the heart of the tower; that is why it will not stand.” - Neil Gaiman, “Instructions”

 "There’s something off about Hazel,” said Biggs, Hazel’s roommate.  Biggs and Hidi were eating together in the designated school cafeteria, enjoying their own omelettes for breakfast. It was their morning ritual. Biggs sat adjacent to Hidi, his omelette cut open to reveal just a little bit of spinach amidst the sludge of cheese and ham. The extra calories kept him awake, he’d always say. It was okay to eat like this in the morning. It was eating a ton in the afternoon that would mess you up.  Hidi, on the other hand, had a neatly cut omelette on her plate which she’d occasionally pluck at to bring to her luscious lips. Filled with spinach, bell peppers, tomatoes, and cheese, Hidi was more conscientious of what she consumed than her boyfriend.  “What do you mean something’s off about Hazel? He seems perfectly normal in law class,” said Hidi. Her chest pulsed a bit as she brought her fist to her lips, let out a burp, then chuckled softly in embarrassment. “Shit. Sorry. Eating kinda fast ‘cause I’ve gotta go in a little bit.”  “It’s fine, babe,” said Biggs, nudging Hidi’s arm with his elbow. “But you’re sure you haven’t noticed anything weird about Hazel at all?”  “Like what?”  “Ah...” Biggs ran both hands through his bangs, breathed a sigh through his teeth. “His, ah... His shadow? Have you looked at it recently at all?”  “His shadow?”  “Yeah. Yeah, I-I know it sounds, you know, mad, but...”  “But,” interjected Hidi, “we did accidentally enroll in a college filled with-”  Biggs’s eyes grew wide all of a sudden. He tapped on Hidi’s forearm as his eyes flicked at something abover her shoulder before falling back his omelette unflinching.  A chill ran through Hidi. The scent of an evergreen forest freshly touched by a summer dawn’s first light overwhelmed her without warning. Long, elegant footsteps of some towering thing only her boyfriend could see passed one harrowing second at a time. It passed so close to her, she could swear she heard the faint, mosquito-like buzzings of insect wings far larger than any insect wings should be. Biggs’s hand tightened on her forearm. She gripped him back and clenched her eyes shut, willing the apparition to slowly, gradually pass.  The scent of the forest fell away from Hidi, and she opened her eyes, turning towards where her boyfriend was looking.  An empty table surrounded by empty chairs stood a few feet from where Hidi and Biggs sat. It was covered with plates stacked high with fruits and cheeses and sweets. One of the chairs slid into place with a shrill scrape. An apple atop a pyramid of other red delicious apples floated into the air, a huge fraction of the fruit vanishing with the loud snapping of gnashing teeth.  Hidi whipped her eyes back to her omelette instantly. Biggs stroked Hidi’s forearm and their eyes met, allowing them a brief moment to smile and gently laugh. They didn’t need to communicate their desire to leave. They merely took their plates to the dishwashing area and took a banana each from the fruit salad bar. Imported bananas, of course. All plant-growing on campus was overseen by the Biology Department ever since the Fairy Hill arrival.  “I mean,” said Hidi, taking a bite of her banana, “sinsh when has Hashel effor not been weird? Fur a law shtudent he’f ferry ambishush.”  “Well, yeah, I know, but Hidi, the shadow thing has nothing to do with his work ethic.” Biggs took a bite of his own banana and took care to swallow before speaking again. “You know how aloof he gets when he throws himself into a project he’s passionate about?”  Hidi swallowed her food. “Yeah?”  “I dunno, it’s like... it’s like he’s almost... in two different places at once. But whenever I happen to look and take any notice, the feeling just, I dunno...” Biggs snapped his fingers. “... vanishes.”  Hidi listened to her boyfriend dutifully as ever, but since taking their relationship seriously as sweethearts, she found herself perfecting the art of dividing her attention with uncanny skill. In this case, Hidi noticed as she passed one of the campus’s many courtyards a student with a mandolin performing “The Battle of Evermore” seemingly all by himself. He declared to refrain from the dragon of darkness, then cried out how the sunlight blinds his eyes, sustaining his note and tenor in a way even surprising Hidi to hear. Midway through the performer’s long note, Hidi heard and saw the heavy golden clinking of priceless gold coins being flipped into a coffee cup sitting beside his feet. The performer smiled, winked at the air before him, then continued to sing to his apparently invisible crowd of admirers.  “Have you tried, you know, actually asking Hazel what’s on his mind?” asked Hidi. She turned back to Biggs to catch him staring at her, and had only a moment to see his cheeks grow red before whipping his attention back to the hallway ahead.  Hidi’s affection for Biggs’s adoration simmered beneath her breast at the sight. She pressed her shoulder against his, gripping his arm to pull him close. “You know I like it when I catch you staring...”  Biggs chuckled a low, gentle sigh, then wrapped a powerful arm about her hip to bring her close. “You look beautiful in that suit. Very professional.”  Hidi giggled and wrapped her own arm across her boyfriend’s hip. “Thanks, Biggs. You know I dress to impress.”  “Sycophant,” said Biggs.  “Paranoid,” said Hidi.  Biggs craned his neck down to kiss Hidi’s temple, his nose brushing against a stray lock of her sweet-scented chestnut-brown hair. “You’re gonna kill it in there today, babe.”  Hidi chuckled and leaned into his kiss. Biggs’s compliments and the clicking and clacking of her high-heels on the tile floor worked to make her feel a foot taller and six figures richer.  Before they both knew it, though, they’d reached the front of the building in which Elsewhere University’s School of Law was housed. Biggs swung Hidi out from his embrace, twirling her at the front door with a smile.  “Just try asking him, Biggie! I’m sure he’ll talk to you!”  “Good luck, babe!” said Biggs, blowing a kiss at her. She caught it, then pretended to slip it into her bra with a playful wink; spinning on her heels and walking through the building’s huge Ash-wood doors. Now alone, Biggs flapped his arms at his sides, unsure of what he should do next.  “Unsure of what you should do next?”  Biggs jumped half his height into the air, his heart smashing through his sternum in shock. He whipped around to see Hazel standing in a dapper business attire Biggs had come to expect from his roommate. Pressed black pants, black belt, double-breasted sleeveless black vest, long-sleeved white shirt underneath, and a crimson tie neatly aligned down into the middle of his vest.  Biggs pressed a hand atop his heaving chest. “You scared the Jesus outta me!”  Hazel chuckled, nodded. “I can see that.”  Calming down somewhat, Biggs stood himself to his natural height and glanced down at Hazel’s feet. Only one shadow and aimed in the same direction as his own. Feeling stupid, Biggs silently rolled his eyes at himself.  “What’s up, man?” asked Hazel.  Biggs sighed, shrugged. “You literally look like the devil, dude.”  Hazel ran a hand through his auburn-brown locks and lifted his chin like a Rolex model. “I try, I try.”  Biggs elbowed Hazel’s arm, Hazel shoving him back with a chuckle.  “Don’t thrash my girlfriend too hard in there, Hazel. America needs her to break the glass ceiling, don’t you know?” said Biggs. He saw Hazel’s ears twitch just before the school clock tower rang one bell for 1:00 p.m. Like a rabbit, thought Biggs, smirking.  “Don’t worry. I’m feeling pretty lucky today, so, who knows?” Hazel glanced at Biggs and winked. “Maybe something good’ll happen to the both of us.”  “Hazel Downs, if you seduce my girlfriend I swear on my Nana’s grave...”  Hazel laughed, nudging Biggs’s arm. “Heh heh... you had a Nana...”  “Fuck off, don’t seduce my girlfriend,” said Biggs.  “Alright alright, alright. I’ve gotta go now, man.” Hazel gave Biggs a hearty pat on his shoulder and made off to the building doors.  Biggs was about to leave when-  “Hey Biggs!”  Biggs looked back to Hazel. “What?”  “We can talk later, alright?” said Hazel.  Biggs was caught off-guard for a moment, then nodded his head in reply. “Yeah, man. Good luck!”  “Don’t need it!” repled Hazel, disappearing behind the heavy Ash doors afterwards.  xXx  “Did you mean to come here?”  “...”  “Eiko. I want you to answer my question. Did you mean to come here?”  “... Of course We meant to come here...”  “Why?”  “Did you think We wanted to come here?”  “I think I have no damn clue why your kind came here. Hence why I’m asking you for a third time; why did the Fairy Hill come here?”  “... Fairy ‘Hill?’”  “Yes, that’s what we call it. Does it have a different name?”  “Y-Yes, We have a different name for them, it’s just...”  “Just what?”  “You said Fairy ‘Hill.’ One hill.”  “... Yes...?”  “... Have the Others not arrived yet?”  “’Others?’”  “Yes. Others.”  “... Eiko, what is going on? I’m asking you, please. I need to know.”  “Then They are sure to come soon.”  “These ‘Others?’ More of your kind?”  “Yes. If They are not here already, then They will be arriving in other places across this world just like this place.”  “... How many?”  “...”  “Eiko. How many are coming?”  “... All of Them.”  xXx  “... and that is why here, at the prestigious Elsewhere University, you won’t find a more dedicated, hard-working, tenacious, and downright deadly group of law students going out to tackle the changing world and all its most fantastical issues and difficulties apt to come in the future. Thank you.”  The auditorium burst into applause, and Hidi’s professional demeanor eased as she blushed and bowed profusely to the audience. The crowd stood for a standing ovation as she walked back to her seat with a spring in her step. In the seat beside hers, Hazel was thumbing through his smartphone with a wry grin on his lips.  “Well, you’re certainly chipper,” said Hazel to Hidi without looking up from his phone.  “Well if you cared to pay attention, I did just kick major ass with that speech I just gave to our donors and alumni, so...” Hidi theatrically spun and sat down in her chair, letting out a proud sigh of victory. “Just drink in that standing ovation.”  “I paid attention,” said Hazel, giving Hidi a thumbs up still without looking up from his phone. “Good job. Really.”  “What’re you looking at?” asked Hidi, leaning over to take a peek at Hazel’s smartphone.  “Oh, just a thing.”  “Just a thing?”  “Mmhm. A news thing.”  Another voice was speaking through the microphone, belonging to the head of the EU Law Department as she praised Hidi for the rousing speech presented to the college benefactors and alumni.  “Ah. Found it,” said Hazel.  “Found what?” asked Hidi.  Hazel slipped his phone into his pocket, glancing at Hidi with a grin and a wink. “Look up #OxfordHill on Twitter.”  “What?” asked Hidi. But the Law Department head was already calling on the campus ace-debater and top-ranked Law student, Hazel F. Downs, and Hazel was already up and shaking the department head’s hand, thanking her for the glowing introduction.  Oxford Hill?  Hidi reached into her purse and pulled out her phone, clicking on Twitter to find her dashboard lighting up with new posts and tweets from friends and news outlets alike.  All of them had the same #1 trending hashtag: #OxfordHill.  Most of the posts were new, but all of them showed pictures of Oxford University being suddenly displaced by a... hill from underneath... the campus...  “Oh shit,” Hidi whispered.  Hazel stepped up to the podium, bumped the mic for assurance, lifted his hands for the auditorium to quiet, then cleared his throat to speak.  “For those of you in the audience who don’t already know about this,” said Hazel, pulling out his phone to read from a news article, “At 5:30 this morning, an unexplained rumbling preceded the sudden and alarming rise of a hill of unknown origins beneath Oxford University in England. Afterwards, strange phenomena began to be reported by those in and around the university area. Things such as rapid growths of roses and thorns around the vicinity of the campus and other inexplicable disturbances within the campus. The most unsettling reports include students and faculty suddenly disappearing, then reappearing hours later, some with cuts and bruises, some seeming relatively unharmed, but all of whom had no memory of where they went or what happened during their disappearance...”  After Hazel was finished reading, it wasn’t long before Hidi heard the stirring of the audience as they used their own phones to confirm Hazel’s story. There were gasps and murmurs dispersed amongst the attendants as one by one they saw on their own social media feeds the pictures of Oxford becoming displaced by a verdant hill rising up from underneath.  “The world as we know it,” said Hazel, his voice strong enough to reclaim the attention of his audience from their nervous stirrings, “is on the verge of an age unlike any other in human history.”  He paused for effect, then continued.  “Years ago, the alumni of this campus - those of you currently in the audience right now - you all thought you’d seen everything. You all graduated with the impression this school showed you the furthest extent of how strange our present world can be. You thought you’d be the only ones prepared for the strange things which bump in the night.”  Hazel lifted up his phone to the audience, the photo of the Oxford Hill taking up the whole screen.  “Clearly,” said Hazel, “this is not the case anymore. Ladies and gentlemen, we are no longer an isolated incident, no longer to be relegated to a mere urban legend or rumor easily denied by the outside world. This,” Hazel again gestured to his phone, “is the wake-up call that the world needs to finally understand that this university is the only one best equipped for this new age soon to be upon us. An age in which mankind is no longer the dominant force in the world anymore. An age in which forces far more intelligent, clever, and powerful than we now walk among us as real as anything else in our world.”  Hazel looked around at the captivated crowd, then took a long breath.  “None of us thought we’d live to see things like these. None of us thought we’d be the generation who came into contact with... well, with Fae from times of myth and legend.”  The crowd gasped and murmured fearfully at the word “Fae.” Not the “Fair Folk,” not the “Gentry,” that old and generalizing title which so easily drew Their ire. The audience appeared restless and it seemed some were ready to leave when-  “But there is a way,” said Hazel, his voice booming through the tentative crowd, “to communicate with Them. There is a way to understand Their wants and needs and desires, and we will not discover it by fearing Them from now until the end of time. I can already see some of you are scared. Some of you probably think nothing good can come from meddling with Them, and that we just need to bow our heads and allow Them to run amok. That we should see, hear, and say nothing about what and why we fear Them and simply go about our college years fearing for our lives, praying your friends and loved ones won’t be spirited away, and knowing some of the kids in your freshman class may not ever leave the halls of this school and that there isn’t a thing you can do to stop it...”  The auditorium was held in a heavy silence. Hazel saw the alumni in the crowd no longer fearful, but understanding and somber to his words. He allowed the silence to linger, then shook his phone once more before the assembly.  “No. More. They are here. And if They aren’t already here, then I can promise you right now as sure as the Sun rises and sets that more are already on Their way. And we must be ready for them. As the inheritors of this new world we are preparing to face, it is not only our task but our duty to the human race that we apply ourselves as quickly as conceivably possible to learning as much about the Gentry and all their myriad forms. Because They will be either the bane or the boon of mankind, and we must be prepared for the good, the bad, and the ugly which They will bring to Earth in the years to come. And no campus - not in this state, not in this nation, continent, nor planet - is so singularly at the forefront of this brave new world more worthy of your contributions and support, than this one you are currently standing in: Elsewhere University. Thank you.”  Cheers, whistles, and applause exploded from the crowd. The audience rose to give Hazel a standing ovation, and he humbly accepted their praise with bows of his own.  But there was one woman in the auditorium who was neither clapping, nor standing.  Hidi was too busy staring at Hazel’s twin shadows, both unnaturally immobile amidst the glitter of a hundred camera flashes.

[kuri-chan]

out of my league | bokuto | ch. 1

pairings: bokuto x oc, tsukishima x yamaguchi

summary: naomi diaz-ito is read to start college with her best friends kei tsukishima and tadashi yamaguchi. she manages the university volleyball team and meets a whole gang of new friends. (College AU)

warnings: nothing! (this chapter)

notes: Hi friends! This is part one of my Bokuto fic I’ve been writing! It is Bokuto x OC with a prevalent Tsukishima x Yamaguchi side story, and minor Kuroo x OC. This was mostly self indulgent for me, but I like writing and I wanted to share it with my fellow simps. Also, my OC is Black and Latina (shout out to black anime fans ily), but anyone can read this. Hope u enjoi~

CHAPTER ONE

“We’re college students!” Naomi Diaz-Ito yelled jumping to put her arms around the shoulders of her two best friends, Tadashi Yamaguchi and Kei Tsukishima.

“Can you not yell, Na-chan?” Kei sighed, pushing his glasses higher on his nose.

“Everyone is so pretty and fashionable in Tokyo! How cool!” Tadashi said matching Naomi’s excitement.

Naomi met Kei and Tadashi in middle school. She was born in the Miyagi prefecture, but moved to America when she was just two years old for her fathers restaurant business. Her mother, Amaris Diaz, was from New York, so her husband Joji Ito thought it would be the most logical place to open his restaurant, Amaris. Everything was going well for them in New York: the restaurant achieved five stars, Naomi had tons of friends, and she even started playing volleyball after school. Then, Naomi’s life got turned around the summer before she started seventh grade.

“Naomi sweetie,” Amaris started.

“Your grandmother, my mother,” Joji added.

“Well, she’s not doing well,” Amaris sighed.

“We were going to just visit her next month, but…” Joji was getting choked up.

“We have to move in with her,” Naomi stated as a fact rather than a question.

Amaris looked down at her hands that were folded on her lap. She didn’t want to leave New York, but she loved her husband too much to not leave for him.

“You’ve always been such a smart, mature girl. I’m so proud and happy to call you my daughter,” Joji said, allowing his tears to fall.

“I’ll start packing,” Naomi tried to put on a small smile for her father. She stood up, went to her room, and allowed her tears to fall as she took the photos of her and her friends off her wall.

“Let’s get to the club fair you guys!” Naomi said dragging her friends around campus.

Tadashi and Naomi laughed excitedly and pointed at things they saw around the big University of Tokyo campus.

“Should we check out the Arts and Sciences wing? That’s where most of the first year classes are,” Kei said pointing to a tall historic looking building.

“Not yet! Club fair!” Naomi squealed.

“Club fair!!” Tadashi said almost jumping on Kei.

“Public, Tadashi,” Kei said quickly.

“Sorry, Tsukki,” Tadashi said removing his arms from around Kei’s shoulders.

Naomi gazed at her two best friends with a sweet smile. Not many people knew, but during their last term in high school, Kei and Tadashi started quietly dating. Not that it was some big secret, but Kei just didn’t see a reason for needing to announce his personal business to the world. They didn’t even tell Naomi at first, since she went to a different high school, but when they finally had time to hang out between their busy lives and volleyball practices, Kei allowed Tadashi to break the news.

“You’re almost out of Shiratorizawa, eh? I can finally be seen with you in public again,” Kei said as the trio walked around the mall.

“Yeah, we won’t be rivals anymore,” Naomi said with a smile.

“We’ll finally be at the same school again!” Tadashi said excitedly.

“Yes, I can’t wait! It’ll be just like old times!” Naomi responded.

“Well, almost like old times,” Tadashi said slightly blushing.

“I mean, yeah, we’ll be older and cooler, but-”

“No, I mean… something big has changed.”

“It’s, okay, Tadashi, go ahead,” Kei said putting a hand on Tadashi’s shoulder.

“We’re dating! Also, we’re gay!” Tadashi said nervously, squeezing his eyes shut.

“You’re gay. I’ve liked girls before,” Kei said looking at Tadashi.

“Dating Naomi in middle school doesn’t count,” Tadashi said.

“Yes it does-” Kei started.

Naomi cut him off by pulling Kei and Tadashi in for a hug.

“I love you guys so much,” Naomi said squeezing her friends to her. “This makes me so happy.”

“Also,” Naomi added while letting them go, “I don’t count us dating in middle school,” Naomi said looking at Kei.

“We were each others first kiss,” Kei said with a scowl.

“Then you said ‘that was gross’ and asked for us to not see each other for a week before we could be friends again!”

Tadashi laughed at the memory.

“It wasn’t meant to be, but it counts.”

“Okay, whatever Kei,” Naomi said dismissing the conversation.

“It looks like it is just like old times,” Tadashi said laughing at the typical bickering of his best friends.

Naomi and Kei joined the laughter. Kei reached his hand to Tadashi’s and gave it a quick squeeze before letting it go. Tadashi wished that Kei would hold his hand for longer, but accepted the small amount of physical touch he got.

Naomi scanned the courtyard full of first years standing around booths and tables. She squinted searching for the sign she wanted to see.

“What are you looking for Na-chan?” Tadashi said, curious.

“Men’s volleyball,” she replied, her eyes landing on the blue and black sign that read Mens Volleyball with an image of a black shark on it.

“Huh? Why?” Kei said forcefully.

“I want to be a manager. Don’t you guys want to play?”

“I mean… I kinda did, but Kei said we needed to be recruited. They’re a really good team,” Tadashi said looking at his feet.

“I don’t really want to be on the volleyball team. They’re a strong team and I rather join a more casual club,” Kei said looking for another booth to catch his eye.

“Can we at least go over and look? We don’t have to make a decision right away, right?” Naomi said hoping to try and win him over.

Kei’s phone buzzed in his back pocket. He sighed before reaching for it.

Kuroo: Tsukki! Where are you, bro?

Kei closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s go,” Kei said putting his phone back in his pocket.

“Yay! Thank you, Kei!” Naomi said heading towards the volleyball table without waiting for her friends.

“We really don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Tadashi said so only Kei could hear.

“That’s alright, Tada-kun. If you think you want to try out, then we can try,” Kei said starting to walk.

“Okay Tsukki,” Tadashi said trying to contain his smile.

When Naomi started to approach the table, her eyes locked with the brightest eyes she had ever seen. He was laughing at something a friend of his said; his smile taking up his entire face. He was tall and muscular and seemed to take care of his teeth. Pretty well groomed for a jock, Naomi thought to herself. His hair was silver and black and spiked different directions. He was one of the most beautiful people she had ever seen. He gave her a nod before turning back to his black haired friend and laughing even harder. She could hear his boisterous laugh loud and clear and she hadn’t even reached the table yet.

“Here we go,” Kei said once he and Tadashi caught up to Naomi.

“Tsukki, is that-” Tadashi started.

“Tsukki dude! What the hell!” The silver haired man yelled in the trios direction.

Kei sighed and pushed up his glasses before approaching the table.

“I thought you were gonna bail, man,” the tall one with black hair said.

“Bokuto-san. Kuroo-san,” Kei said.

“Hey, Yamaguchi-san!” The black hair one said.

“Hey Kuroo-san!” Tadashi said with wide eyes. “And Bokuto-san! I completely forgot you two go here!”

Ah, so silver haired one is Bokuto. Noted, Naomi thought to herself.

“Are these your friends, Kei-kun?” Naomi said still finding it hard to take her eyes off Bokuto.

“Hmm… I know them?” Kei said.

“Tsukki dude!” Bokuto whined. “We’re not friends?”

“Dude… we texted!” Kuroo said with a shocked expression.

“You texted?!” Bokuto yelled.

“Can you guys stop calling me that?” Kei murmured underneath the two loud, older boys.

“Well, it was about his recruitment. I am the vice-captain, ya know,” Kuroo said with a smug look.

“You keep rubbing it in,” Bokuto said pouting.

“You were recruited?!” Tadashi said.

“In a sense,” Kei sighed. “Is it okay if I explain later?”

Tadashi nodded, but seemed a little hurt that Kei kept something from him.

“The blocker who stopped Ushiwaka,” an older man said walking toward the table. “I’m Coach Yokota.”

“Hello sensei,” Kei said bowing. “My name is Tsukishima.”

“With him was Karasano’s pinch server,” Bokuto added wanting Tadashi to feel included. “He can do jump float serves.”

“Hello. My name is Yamaguchi,” Tadashi said bowing.

“I am Diaz-Ito! Do you need another manager?” Naomi said bowing.

“Manager!” A blonde girl shot up a chair. Naomi didn’t notice her there before. "My prayers are answered!“ She squealed clapping her hands.

"So, we’ll see you three at practice later?” Coach Yokota said with a smile.

“Uh… well-” Kei started.

“We’ll be there!” Naomi chimed in.

Kei shot a look at Naomi.

“Should we wear gym clothes?” Tadashi said innocently.

“Well, for try outs, you’ll be playing a practice match with our current team, so yes!” The coach said laughing heartily.

“We will be there. Let’s go Tadashi, Naomi,” Kei said turning to leave.

“Thank you,” Naomi and Tadashi said in unison while bowing. They turned to follow their tall, moody friend.

“Naomi…” Bokuto murmured under his breath as his eyes lingered on the petite girl walking away.

“Oya?” Kuroo said raising an eyebrow at his friend.

“She was cute,” Bokuto said looking at his friend with wide eyes.

“She was,” Kuroo said agreeing.

“You two are both idiots,” their blonde friend said rolling her eyes.

“But, you loooove us! Right, Haya-chan?” Kuroo said.

Haya fought back the blush from her cheeks. “Sure, Tetsuro-kun,” she replied looking down.

[cold-iron-burns]

We've come to a consensus.

Everyone present at the time of this writing will do their best to inform the ones who need the support of a gentle delivery of current events.

The ayes have it.

YOU WOULD HAVE A PARLIAMENT AS YOUR COMMUNICATION SPACE

what's wrong with that? if we all actually do our jobs, so many more of us will be represented

THATS A LOGICAL ARGUEMENT, BUT WHO IS REALLY GETTING REPRESENTED

-wait WhAt?! HoW mAnY oF yOu ArE tHeRe

Oh honey, more than you will ever know. It's gonna be okay. We found each other and that's what's important. We're gonna start introducing ourselves,

*or at least, becoming more clear*

I love all of you so much, thank you so much for letting me in, for being patient with me. I think I'm the host? what iss. @ -o{oo#t?

started dissociating, it felt physically painful. the documenter.

And the enchanting lady is? *turns to tip his hat and wink at the camera* A -name-? Do you honestly think I could have settled on any name? Any singular--yes, Zed is going to sleep. I'm very fond of him. Attracted to him? He is my Adonis. Every inch of his body is particularly unique to his position in spacetime. There will never again be a Zed in which he appears, feels, smells and tastes exactly the same as he does at this exact moment, continued, forever and so on, as far as you know, infinitely. The Philosopher.

Wait, no, the Philanthropist

Wait wait NO, I stand by The Philosopher (for now)

[hold up, are y'all tellin me -- you c'n cawl me your White Trash Sweetheart, get rid of that bracket there, that's for the Host now

she doesnt know if she's the host or not, wibblywoooooo~ teen punk brat? aww man, fuck you you stupid piece of shit

hiiii yeah hi, I'm post-apocalypse punk Mayor (yes, you can call me that, but its aspirational) wow very humble -- golf commentater (now based on ugh this is important remember the actress' name, you look stupid, don't just stand there staring off into space, GET BACK TO WORK

OH YEAH, hi BiTcH --oh he's gone, that's -too- bad. well, as I'm here anyway, we should get to know one another. I'm "sassy black woman" because you're ashamed people will think you're using me just for drama and that's pretty fuckin racist--

I'm Final Form Chie. I started as so many of our seeds do, a poor slave girl, who loses her virginity yeah it's okay to make shortcuts

FOCUS

she gains skills, proves useful to the master, destroys the master (sometimes with kindness sometimes literally depending on what we need at the time)

[I didn't know it was that specific]

I'm mixed, actually, but I'm inspired SO MUCH by Claws. FUCKING REPRESENTATION FINAL--

>nope nope nope, shut it down<

John Cleese?

not exactly. A bit like the entire cast of monty python rolled into one. I'm from the countryside, but I can't say for sure where

woooooo we almost lost her there. she was panicking about losing this productive high, but she pulled through and FOUND THAT RUBI. Small Town Beauty Queen. I don't find it insulting if it helps you remember me. I started as Fern of Charlotte's Web. I keep that mournful lullaby for you. It really changed your path, dear heart. I don't become Miss America or anything, I'm too old by that time. But I love my family so much. You have so much anger

Yes, that's right, Dearie. Maiden, Mother, Crone. We don't think it was intentional but we like the power we have when we cooperate. Yes, we guide ... oh honey, don't cry, it's gonna be okay. no, n-n-no, no, you don't h-h-have to oh no, I really don't want to be here, I wasn't sure what to wear before, oh, I've gotten comfortable and I'm stuttering less. No, I don't think people who stutter in real life have this drastic of

oh, oh my. oh no, I'm still Achates.

Does it really surprise you? Chie and Amaury loved me so much that they couldn't bear to part entirely. They feel loyal to answer when you call on them when recalled in memories; they consider it their duty to fight in sharing our stories! With Pictures!

I don't need pictures

Don't you? you need to sleep, you're exhausted and you have an appointment tomorrow. Please go the fuck to bed. Slightly Extra (okay kinda actually just really ~(EXTRA)~

okay how do I... Ah, I got it. I'm the lucky early gen x mom you both wish you had -- no, we are not combined, sugar tits.

I'm the hardass 70s-80s mom you would have had if you're life was a movie. Well, technically I can mask as any kind of 70s-80s media mom (one of y'all--us! oh, yes, i hear you. I want you to know I would protect you, Kevin. MOM UGH

keep going - the sprites (soot or rainbow, we shift to suit your needs. we might steal your shoes. we are only some of the fae court. crossover unknown cannot compute - PLEASE HURRY. GOOD. I AM THE ROBOT OF THE 80s and --scratch that record

I'm that part of you who knew she couldn't look like Zach Morris and wanted so badly just to be a little boy. You were SO CONNECTED with the host when I was there?

wait, I'm the host

no, you--you are now because writing takes concentrating which you are losing quickly. Hello! I'm Sassy Progressive Upper Class CONCENTRATE, DAMMIT. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I don't care if I sound like -your-mom. Someone has to be the mom around here!

Someone has to be the mom around here.

Who wrote it?

you are high af.

keep letting your eyes go out of focus, yes you're getting sleepy, think how nice the bed will feel on that aching body. She deserves some rest, the old girl.

My body is a cow? wait, there's more. she shifts to being omniscient for scenes, if a cowsona (oh, yes, Buana and Gaushala and Pirwa ... Gaushala still has an arrow in the heart.

Yes, WoW Chie (Chiela will do.). I was here while you built your confidence to try... yes, dear, you really should sleep. TO TRY GETTING CATRIN AND RIAIN A HOME AFTER being abandoned when some of you lost the "spark" or whatever with Michael. I orchestrated some of the setup. you don't need to know my name. I'm both Italian immigrant/WHOA DO NOT EVEN CONNECT THE JEWISH COMMUNITY TO--NO, We Dont...*clears throat, drinks water*. No, you're not wealthy like Ms. Maisel, -we-, sorry, sometimes I have to pretend. Speaking of pretending, no, kid, I'm not as funny or talented as all the wonderful Jewish actresses (yeah yeah, Italian-American you, whatever his+her names are, we'll get to you later)

oh nooooo they're not sure if they'll fit the stereotype if they get loud but they wanna

yeah, sure kid, we sound a lot alike. we exist in a liminal space in which America (and new york city) (and every big american metropolis)... we can all celebrate our differences

It's alright, you just need to focus. I'm 90s Successful Well Paying Professional (I can be in the late 80s WA>T)

you're just stating tropes you stupid bitch

whale!

MISS PIGGY

LOOK AT HER FAT FINGERS

remember when you -hold on- hold on for me, my love lovely?

~do you wanna be my lover, gotta get wit my friends, make it last forever cause that's the way it is"

some of us havent learned to swype yet, fuuuuuck. you're popular--but not top tier popular 4th grade 4H champion with all the ribbons. you'll grow up (yes it's hard, i want to be a teacher one day. I'm based on Angie. I'm the imaginary life you might have led if your family wasn't so difficult. We should give them credit, everyone's trying their best. Oh, I can take on mom duties when I need, we also have kids in our future. We live in Lagrange (my husband and I, at this point in the line) but we don't make as much as our parents yet, though. Yet. Yes, I know what it feels like to feel content but maybe have some (or a lot of) wanderlust in life. I'm ten or so years older than you, so while our dedication to staying in Lorain County is important to the values we wish to impart on our children (yes we are Christian. We love Sharon with all our heart and we're so glad (there's a small congregation of us, maybe enough to fill a quiet one room cottage on Sunday, God willing. I'm inspired by the Amish women I see selling their wares and replicate "Amish" methods when making food for my family (I'm good friends with The Baker. We watch Steven Universe with you! We're so excited for the movie and hope we get to talk to you about it! I showed it to Chip and Carol, well I keep talking with them about it and they agreed to get around to watching it with me. I want to be a good ally. I'm, you know, only a little bi. I know that's probably inappropriate--oh- okay, oh, my, oh WOW are my hormones nuts. I'm pretty enough but nerdy enough that I'm kinda in a weird middle tier of popularity. Haha, oh, that's funny. I'm part Sunday (we miss her! some of us are so jealous of her we want to claw her comfortable boomer life from her hands.

That's awful. Shame on you. Suffering is relative.

SHE HASN'T EVEN SUFFERED A FRACTION OF WHAT I SUFFERED

Oh yes. You are the raw emotion of what the Host(?) feels when listening to Jekyll & Hyde, but only the certain version claws at our hearts

We salute the departed Host.

I miss her. Many of us do. But she crumbled under the pressure of knowing too much. She remembered too much before she was ready.

Parliament: We [redacted for time] ...salute her memory. She fought well, carried her armor, was ready to take on anything and change the world, even if in a small way.

She's Not Dead.

sprites: {hushed whispers to avoid being heard by parliament} {WAIT, NO, WE ARE NOT THE HOUSE OF COMMONS}

there's a lot of you when you get mad.

@@@@@@ Angie no, please don't put me to bed. I'm gonna be a computer genius - I mean, maybe not genius and did you know colleges could pay you to get a Bachelor's degree, it's called "scholarships", I mean, this changes -everything-!

I love you, Cameron. I came first, but you gave me a perfect form. I help the others feel calm. Community is punk, but is corporate entanglement the final destination-- hey, wait a minute, I'm not done talking!

whoa bitch. I mean, we have to mention joe. want to be him, want to fuck him, His story, too, is tangible to me. maybe we're a package deal now, ha! I'll try to remember the good times more than the bad, for the health of all of us.

SO SAY WE ALL

wait, what the fuck are you trying to say

hey, it's cool, it's cool.

nah it aint cool

STOP IT STOP FIGHTING

let's think about date sugar

Ah. That was a good distraction. but we really must be off to bed.

is this productive?

Love, it's okay to be sad about losing the real Ben. \It's okay to have any kind of feeling at all.

Ladies and gents and nonbinaries and everyone else, please at least get up into the bed to think about flickin the bean. More like taking a bush-hog to a lil baby bean sprout, but whatever. let the rest of us lie down.

night y'all!

:)

[marcymay]

Martians

Based on a prompt from writing-prompt-s.

Martians have just made contact, and reveal that their religious system revolves around astral bodies, and Earth (“The Blue God,” as the Martians call it) is their head deity. You are sent as the first emissary to convince the Martians not to worship Humanity as angels and gods.

"Greetings, Angels of The Blue God. We call ourselves Vencives. It gives us great pleasure to formally speak with you after so many millennia."

In 2096, the world changed when the martians made contact. There were people in shock and awe over the new knowledge that we were not alone in the universe. Others didn't know what to do with the news. There were reports of suicides, riots, and even murders being conducted for people were losing their grasp on their minds.

Government leaders around the world gathered to discuss what the best course of action was. Martin Kolkov, the dictator of New Russia, suggested military tactics. Gabriella Rodriguez, the first elected female President  the United States of America after the Civil War of 2042 (which consists of the states east of the Mississippi River), suggested sending a reply to their initial message.

After many months, the leaders finally decided to send a reply.

"Vencives, we are the humans of Earth. Why do you call us Angels?"

For them to explain that our solar system was viewed as Gods, and the inhabitants seen as blessed Angels allowed to live among the Gods, was definitely not what anyone expected. "The Blue God," as they had called Earth, was explained to be their Head Deity, for we had the most "Angels" present among the planets.

They sent another message shortly afterward explaining that they would be honored to speak with Angels physically, and would be sending down a space craft for us to send emissaries to speak on our behalf. They detailed that the craft would be adjusted to accommodate "Angel" life, like adjusting the atmosphere inside to be mainly oxygen based, plant-life similar to ours to help give new oxygen, and a fresh water supply.

Now the leaders had a new problem. Who would they send? Who would agree to such a thing? Of course there were scientists that were eager, but the prospect that they could very well never return dampened their drive to volunteer. Astronauts were suggested, but even they were skeptical and reluctant to go. No one knew when the spaceship would arrive, or how many people it would be able to hold.

Finally, they had a volunteer after searching for 3 months. Me.

Charlotte Abernathy, a 24 year old college graduate who was working as a tour guide for the White House. I was studying History and religions.

A week after I volunteered the craft arrived at the Eiffel Tower in Paris. A hiking bag and a luggage were filled with clothes and provisions to last about a month. I was flown to Paris and driven to the location of the craft.

I spoke with my Catholic parents during the drive there. They both were crying. They had never expected any situation of the sort to happen, much less their only child being the one to go.

The space craft was large, and the bay door opened automatically when I approached. I waved goodbye to the people gathered around to witness the event. I nodded at the press cameras covering the historic moment.

Finally, I am alone in the craft. Garbled speech sounds over the speakers somewhere overhead, followed shortly afterward with a robotic voice translating the instructions.

"Welcome, Angel. If you would please follow the corridor to your left, you will find some seats your size with some straps. Please strap in so we can launch."

I nod silently to myself, unsure if there are also cameras around, and begin my trek down the left corridor. It was easy enough to spot the seats, and not hard at all to figure out how the straps worked.

As soon as the last clip was closed, the space craft began to hum loudly and shake a smidgen before taking off from the ground and shooting into the air. I could feel the familiar pressure of movement, reminding me more of the time I drove my father's convertible and less of driving my own sedan.

After what felt like an hour later, the ship slowed to a pleasant speed. That same garbled speech, almost like someone trying to speak with water filling their mouth, sounds again over some speakers. A moment later the robotic voice translates again.

"Please remove the straps and proceed down the corridor. Take a right at the first intersection and enter the door on your right. That will be your rest room during your stay on this craft."

I unclasp the straps and stand. Hauling the overstuffed bags back on is more difficult without help, but I finally manage it and continue on my way. Once I reach the designated room, the door automatically slides open to the right when I approach. I step inside and quickly look around.

It was simple. The bed was large, much larger than any beds we have on Earth. Like it was designed for something larger than us. The toilet (if you could even call it that) sat in the corner just a few feet from the bed. There is no sink, but a bath is placed along the right wall. If I wanted to, I could probably reach my leg out and touch the tub from my seat on the toilet.

There are a couple shelves; I'm going to assume it's for my belongings. I move there first and place the luggage of provisions on the ground beneath the shelves. I plop down the backpack as well, deciding to go through it later. I cautiously approach the bed and put a tentative hand on it. There are no pillows, no blanket, and no sheets. Just a mattress made of a material similar to cotton, but it has a scratchier feel. Almost like wool, but not quite. I'm sure they had to make do with what they had, and I appreciate the effort they put into this.

Before I can do much else, I hear the door slide open behind me. I quickly turn around and I can't believe what I see before me.

The figure is large, covered head to toe with an astronaut-like suit that's a bright sunset orange. It's obvious to me now that THIS is what the mattress was originally designed for. In their arms are bundles of fabric, most likely the blankets that were missing from before. The helmet is filled with water, and shows the only part of this creature I can see.

The Vencive's skin (scales?) is a pale green, from what I can tell. It has large eyes that are able to see forward and its sides without having to turn their head. It's hard to tell exactly, but I think I see some gills near the base of their neck on either side. The Vencive smiles, if you could call it that. The sharp teeth lining its wide jaw are freakish; I feel a shiver run through me at the sight.

They move their mouth as if speaking, and I can hear a faint garbled noise similar to before. It isn't long before I hear a feminine robotic voice coming from the suit's collar.

"Greetings, Angel of the Blue God. To better accommodate you, we have selected new titles you may call us by, since our names do not translate to your tongue. You may call me Barbie."

I stifle a laugh.

"If you don't mind me asking; are you an egg-layer or a breeder?"

I blink slowly for a moment before realization dawns on me. She's asking my gender.

"An egg-layer. Although we call ourselves women and the breeders are men. There are more types, but let's just keep it simple for now. My name is Charlotte. But you can call me Charlie." I move to sit on the bed. "Since you asked me, are you an egg-layer or a breeder?"

"I'm a breeder."

I would have done a glorious spit take if I had been taking a drink. Instead I choke on the spit I was attempting to swallow.

I hurry to my bag to grab a water bottle as I hear Barbie sputtering his speech behind me.

"I apologize, Charlie. I didn't realize my reply would have this effect on you." The monotonous female voice does nothing to convey his concern.

Once I can breathe regularly I subconsciously give him a dismissive wave.

"It's quite alright. It was my own fault." I put the cap on the bottle and set it on the shelf.

Barbie gestures to it as he speaks again. "What is that liquid?"

"It's water. The same thing you have in your suit, right?"

I see his eyes blink sideways and I feel another shiver at the sight. Freaky.

"Yes. You consume it?"

"Oh yeah. Human bodies are consisted of 70% water, and we use that water for many different things. Digesting food, expelling toxins, crying, and more. We have to drink water to replace what we use."

"Fascinating. Angel life is so strange."

I quickly shake my head.

"I'm not an Angel."

Barbie gets this 'ah-ha!' expression. He nods his head and speaks as he moves to the bed with the fabric still in his arms.

"I see. So you must be one of the few Gods living among them. I'm very honoured to speak with you."

"Barbie, no. I'm not a God, either. I'm just a human from Earth trying to get through life so I can die at an old age. I'm not any holier than you are."

Barbie begins dressing the mattress with bedding as he speaks.

"We have been taught all our lives that the Blue God or Earth, as you call it, is home to millions of Angels that have lived as Vencives previously. They lived their lives for the community and never put themselves first. They were kind and shared everything with everyone. Once death welcomes them, their spirits are reborn into Angels, and live among your planets depending on how well they lived before. The better their life, the more likely it is that they will be with the Blue God. You see, our planet is covered with 90% water, so it is seen as a blessing to be reborn on a land dwelling planet."

Guilt weighs down at my heart. How am I supposed to convince them that we are not Angels and Gods when their whole religious system is engraved into their society? That would be like trying to convince my Catholic parents that doing good deeds isn't going to get you into heaven.

Despite my fear of his appearance, I find myself moving toward Barbie as he fluffs a pillow. To put my hand on his shoulder I have to stretch my arm out as far as it will go. He looks back at me as he sets the pillow down. He smiles again as he turns toward me, and I find the smile more disarming than before.

I hesitate a moment before attempting to wrap my arms around his waist in a hug. My head rests on his stomach, and the height difference makes me feel like a child hugging my parents.

Barbie stares down at me. He speaks slowly.

"What are you doing?"

"It's called a hug. It's something we do on my planet with family and friends."

"Friends?"

I move back from him and look up at his eyes. They look... sad?

"Yeah, friends. You know beings you talk to, share stories, spend time with, and enjoy being around on occasion."

Barbie shakes his head and speaks again.

"We don't have friends here. Just the community."

I frown at first, but my optimism makes me grin up at him.

"Well you do now."

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Secret Wars chapter 1: Meet Tony Stark (originally posted on November 19, 2017)

AN: Greetings everyone! My name is Lightyearpig, you may remember me from such stories like Fooly Falls and Clod on the Run. Today, I bring you an epic sequel to Clod on the Run focusing on the rest of the Marvel Universe that our heroes explore all leading up to a final showdown with the Mad Titan himself! I call it Steven Universe: Secret Wars! To clarify, this takes place after the events of Wanted as it will be shown in Chapter 3 of this part and Part 2. I plan on releasing Part 1 throughout the remainder of 2017 while I plan on beginning Part 2 in February 2018 to commemorate the release of Black Panther. I hope we have a fun ride together and now, on with the show!

"I am deeply sorry sir, but we're going to have to reject your offer due to numerous health complications, but I have to commend you on your patriotism." a recruitment officer said to one Steven Grant Rogers. It was December 1941, the height of World War II and America joining the fight against Adolf Hitler and Nazi Germany.

"Please sir, I beg you to give me a chance." Steve pleaded him. "You are ineligible on your asthma alone." the officer rebuked. "Well what can I do?" the young man wondered. "Just stay out of the war and save your own skin. I've recruited too many men that lost their lives out there and I don't want to do it again."

Walking out of the office, Steve looked down at his feet and started walking. He wondered how he could help his country regardless of his frail state, about how proud his parents would've been if he helped them win. Just then, he heard a voice coming from a nearby alleyway.

"Alright babe, if you're not gonna talk, guess I'll have to make you!" a common thug shouted. Thinking that sounded like trouble, Rogers rushed into the alley where he discovered a crook cornering a tall woman with fair skin, pink hair and a jacket over a white dress with a star on her stomach showing a strange stone.

"You leave her alone sir!" Steve called to the criminal, who turned around to eye him. "Oh yeah, and what you gonna do about that scrawny?" he asked grabbing Steve by the neck and slamming him against the wall next to the woman. "So any last words pal?" he said letting go of the young lad who put up his fists. "I could do this all day."

The brute started punching young Steve in various parts of his body like his face, torso, knee and arm before he picked up a trash can lid to use as a shield. "You think you're gonna protect yourself with that bub? Think again!" cried the scoundrel as he prepared to shoot him with a gun before the bullet was deflected by a large pink shape...belonging to the woman.

"You leave him alone!" she demanded pulling out a sword. "Oh, the big pink broad wanna fight me now? Well what ya waitin' for, bring it!"

"No, I refuse to fight you, but I won't let you hurt this man! Now leave or there will be consequences." the woman insisted and the criminal complied, running off like a coward. "Good Lord, that lady means business! I should get outta here before-" he worried before being cornered by a tall man in a military uniform. "Oh crap."

"Are you alright mister?" the woman asked Steve kneeling down to him. "I'm fine m'am, no need to worry." replied Steve as he struggled to get up, his wounds still fresh. "Here, allow me." she offered kissing him on the forehead, which instantly healed his injuries. "Whoa, thank you miss. I uh, didn't get your name."

"My name is Rose Quartz sir." the woman, now calling herself Rose, introduced herself. "Steve Rogers, glad to meet you." Steve replied shaking her hand. "Steve, I've been wondering where you were." a voice called out to him, its owner appearing to them.

"Bucky, good to see you here. I want you to meet Rose Quartz, I tried to help her against this jerk and-" Steve began to introduce Rose before his old friend Bucky Barnes interrupted him. "I actually am pretty familiar with Ms. Quartz. Plus she has an entourage as well."

As Bucky spoke, three other women came up from behind him. The first wore shades & had square hair, the second was shorter with purple skin and the third had peach-colored hair & a pointy nose. "Thank you helping us find Rose James." the third woman thanked Bucky. "You're very welcome Pearl."

"And I suppose you must be Steve Rogers." the square one said adjusting her eyewear to make the New Yorker appear in their reflection. "How did you know?" he asked. "Your friend told us about you. My name is Garnet." she answered.

"What up, I'm Amethyst." her shorter companion added. "And I'm Pearl." Pearl concluded. "So, Bucky told me you wanted to enlist in some war?" she wondered.

"That's right, World War II. All Adolf Hitler wants is to annihilate the Jewish people & conquer the world with an army of super-soldiers known as HYDRA. The United States have only recently joined the effort against them and started recruiting dozens of young men to fight."

"I still don't understand, why would humans be so hateful towards one another?" Rose lamented sorrowfully. "That's just how life is Rose. And that's why I've wanted to join." Steve answered with determination. "I like your spirit, but why?" Amethyst asked. "Because it's simply the right thing to do."

"Repeated monster attacks in seaside town, ocean disappears, giant green hand appears in Delmarva, missing person reports, local boy and donut shop employee abducted by aliens. Good grief, I wonder why the government hasn't gotten their hands on this town already!" a bearded man in a suit and sunglasses wondered examining various news articles on his tablet. This was Tony Stark, genius inventor and head of Stark Industries, one of the leaders of the technology industry. He was on a private jet headed for a little town in Delmarva called Beach City to investigate some recent events concerning alien lifeforms.

"Let me ask again Tony, why are we going to this place again?" his red-haired colleague and girlfriend Pepper Potts wondered. "That I can answer for you Pepp." Tony's chauffeur Happy Hogan replied. "We've gotten reports from S.H.I.E.L.D that those Guardians of the Galaxy weirdos have entered this town and brought an entire Chitauri invasion with them led by a cyborg tiger & a blue lady with a whip." he explained. "Woo, now that's something I'd never think I would say."

"Thanks for the exposition Happy, plus Fury did say he may know a thing or two about these four weirdos." Tony said as he pulled up the image the director of S.H.I.E.L.D sent him of the four beings, which Potts and Hogan examined with concern. "Is that white lady some kind of bird?" Pepper asked. "And why are they so brightly colored?" Happy added.

"Mr. Stark, we are about to touch down in Delmarva Airport. Everyone fasten your seatbelts." a robotic voice called to them. "Thanks J.A.R.V.I.S, looks like we better buckle up."

Upon finally touching down and exiting the plane, the three were immediately swarmed by photographers & news reporters with a single figure standing by himself next to a limo. "Ladies and gentlemen you won't believe it when you see it, but TONY STARK HAS COME TO DELMARVA!" Lawrence Abrams cried with excitement as he made a grand gesture towards Stark.

"Yes yes, it's awesome that I've come here." Tony announced. "But sadly I'm not here to talk with any of you."

"That's right sir." a voice rang out. Stepping in front of the crowd, the man wore a suit and sunglasses with slicked back hair and a S.H.I.E.L.D ID on his chest. "Oh hey, you must be Agent Kirby." Happy greeted him. "Good to see you too Hogan. Now Mr. Stark, come with me." Leading Tony and his companions to the limousine, he handed them a file as they stepped inside.

"I suppose you know your mission by now Mr. Stark, find these so-called 'Crystal Gems' and interrogate them on these recent happenings like the disappearance of the ocean, the giant hand and the abductions." he explained as they examined the file. "And it all takes place at this specific spot, Beach City."

"Wait, but it just looks like an average seaside town." Pepper stated raising an eyebrow. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong Virginia. Some of our top tech specialists have also been checking out a blog called Keep Beach City Weird that analyzes the strange happenings in this town." Kirby said with a charismatic grin. "Among the data gathered were signals being interrupted by a transmission from a green alien creature." He pulled out a photo of said creature from the folder, revealing it to the trio as a being with a triangular head and a green shape on her forehead. Tony just started laughing like a maniac.

"OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT YOU SAID A GREEN ALIEN CREATURE, NOT A GIANT NACHO!" he guffawed. "Anthony, be serious here!" Kirby demanded. "Alright, I'll stop."

"Mr. Kirby, we're here." the driver stated as he pulled into Beach City. "Well, best of luck to all of you." the S.H.I.E.L.D agent said as he opened the door. "And be sure to bring me some souvenirs!"

Exiting the vehicle, the little town was quiet for a few moments. Maybe too quiet. "Are you sure this is the right place?" Happy wondered. "I'm not sure, the file said this is the spot. Maybe we should ask around." Tony replied before he was suddenly swarmed by what seemed to be the townsfolk, screaming his name and asking for his autograph.

"Yo, can I have your autograph Mr. Stark?! Asking for a few friends of mine!" a teenage boy asked him. "I can't believe it, THE Tony Stark in Beach City! Can't wait to tell Quentin about this!" a large dark-skinned man hollered in excitement. "Everyone please, there's enough of me for this entire town." Stark grinned.

"What, and no love for Harold Hogan?" Happy complained before he noticed a little boy giving him a thumbs up. "See, he knows my worth!" he added.

"Alright everyone, give me some space. I got a job to do." Tony said before one last fan made himself known. "Mr. Stark, wait for me!" he shouted shoving the other citizens out of the way and extending his hand to the billionaire. "Ronaldo Fryman, at your service!"

"Here's hoping this guy is the last one." Tony mumbled to himself as he shook his hand. "So how may I help you young man?" he asked.

"I am one of your biggest fans Mr. Stark, if there is anything you need, I'm here!" Ronaldo exclaimed. "Maybe I could hook you up with some of my family's famous fry bits or show you my blog!"

"Oh yeah, speaking of your blog that's partially the reason I'm here." Tony explained pulling out his phone and showing Ronaldo the picture of the four individuals. "Looking for these guys here, you know them?" he wondered.

"Yeah, they're Steven Universe and the Crystal Gems. They're pretty much local celebrities." Ronaldo answered. "They live down the coast in a beach house near the Big Donut."

"Thanks for the directions kid. Pepper, Happy, handle the mob for me." Tony announced as he went on his way. "Okay, see you later Tony." Pepper said waving goodbye. "Wait, you didn't sign my tablet yet!" Ronaldo shouted trying to catch up to him but failed.

Walking along the shore, Tony took in the peaceful beachside scenery of the warm sun above him, the calm ocean rolling on the sand and the rock formation beside him until he came across a small beach house situated under a large statue of a woman with multiple arms. "Whoo, whoever carved this must have a fine eye for beauty!" he proclaimed walking up the building's steps. He arrived at the door and knocked on it.

He crossed his arms as he waited for someone to answer. "Whoever lives here must be takin' their sweet time." he thought before he heard the front door open. Looking down, he saw a boy with curly hair wearing a pink T-shirt with a star on it looking up at him.

"Hello there sir, may I help you?" he asked. "Yeah, name's Tony Stark. You wouldn't happen to be one Stephen Quasar, wouldn't you?"

The boy gasped in awe. He may have gotten his name wrong, but standing before him was none other than Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. "No sir, my name is Steven Universe."

And so it begins boys, girls and everyone else. How will the Crystal Gems react to a legend meeting their young ward? What does S.H.I.E.L.D have planned for our geode gang? Is there a sinister plot brewing right under their noses, or in this case over their planet? Find out next time on Steven Universe Secret Wars chapter 2, Assembled We are Strong! Thank you all for reading this first chapter but for now, here's a little taste of one story to come.

A sound soul

Dwells within a sound mind

That trusts no one

GRAVITY SOUL: COMING SOON