#( V. She Is A Wailing Hurricane )

[frostymuses]

“You’re a little late to the party hotshot.” Nadine teased, a somewhat rare smile beginning to form. It takes plenty to be chipper. With an absolute case of cyber terrorists on the rise, the detective is anything but for a jovial mood. Yet she appreciated the appearance. It saves her all this trouble to handle on her own.

“Anarchy is at its most critical. Reason why we set up base here,” she nodded at the console. Flickering lights, data security it’s all top notch and top secret.

Nadine feels like she stepped into a cyberpunk flick. Not gonna lie she kinda always fancied that cybertech style. Maybe she had a phase in high school at some point, sporting some rather cyber punker threads but today she’s clad in an arsenal of black. Leather always did look nice on her. Or so some of her would be attempted boyfriends have said.

“You look - good,” she admitted. “Good enough to kick some radical shitheads out of our city. How about it?”

mention: @fearanarchy​

[alyss-spazz-penedo]

@w1lmutt ​ahhh, thank you? For your kind words??? You and the lovelies reading this have been basically supplying the majority of my serotonin for the past few weeks asfdjsnka *Throws Part 6 of the unedited v!Wind fic at you and runs away*

This is largely quick and dirty bc I cannot write coherent fight scenes in a timely manner (and the next part is one I am really looking forward to inflicting on you, mwahaha), but hopefully I can make up for that inability with sheer ~*enthusiasm*~

<<First Part 5 Next>>

FIGHT SCENE NOTES:

- Fighting v!Wind is an absolute nightmare. Any approach from the back is met with a mass of erratic, autonomous tentacles and any head-on assault is turned aside by an unholy mesh of Link and Ganon’s swordplay, while all attempts to surround or flank are thwarted by a tentacle-augmented Hurricane Spin that sends everything in an 8-foot radius flying. Not to mention the constant arrival of harrying claws and weapons as octo-boi's army of minions pour out of the woods, endless and bloodthirsty.

- So the LU boys split to handle the fight on two fronts: Boss Fight and crowd control. 

- Time and Twi take point on the former, the two most familiar with Link’s Ganon-esque attack patterns, while Wars and Sky mostly handle the latter. 

- Warriors bc he’s got the most experience handling mobs of enemies and keeping them off his comrades' backs. 

- Sky bc he tried to join the main fight one(1) time and Fi nope’d right out of his hand, as she does. He spends half the battle sulky (and nursing burns).

- Their saving grace is the fact that Link literally could not care less about the monsters; he’s killed so many of them already over the course of his adventures, what’s a few dozen more. He hunts them for sport sometimes when he’s really bored.

- Which means that when he does something big and flashy, like divebombing the heroes or doing his fancy spin attack, they (mostly Wild and Legend, let’s be real) can sometimes set it up so that he plows a line through his own forces instead. And Bellum will lash out at anything, so they can distract some of it’s tentacles by pushing weaker monsters into it’s range to be strangled into poofs of smoke.

- Their second saving grace is that Link has very few powerful magic attacks, and even fewer defenses against such magic. So Hyrule bleeds magic as their main heavy hitter while the others protect him and try to maneuver Link into a position Hyrule can take aim. Then fairy boy blasts Linkadorf with fire or lightning or what have you to stun him (fulfilling what I call the Princess Zelda role), and everyone else gangs up to wail on Link in that opening like the experienced boss monster fighters they are.

- Link himself is also something of an experienced boss monster fighter thou, so this only works like, twice before he figures out the pattern and starts targeting Hyrule specifically. They ward him off, and Link takes (relatively) more hits once his target becomes obvious and his movements more predictable. 

- Annoyed, he pulls out the Phantom hilt and makes to freeze time long enough to take Hyrule out.

- Wild slams him with Stasis.

- The Rune wears off almost immediately, but that fraction of a second is enough for Time to fit the Ocarina to his lips and belt out the Song of Time, locking everyone in range to the same time flow as the song.

- Link when the Phantom Sphere fails to work: 0_o *takes one of Four’s bombs to the face* 

- He doesn’t try that again.

- Instead, he pulls the Helmaroc Mask on, triggering stage 2 of the boss fight. Which involves, again, divebombing the heroes and tearing strips through the battlefield, augmented by a fully-awake Bellum and the strength of about 20-tons of bird-monster. This is also the point at which the island’s Kargarocs start taking cues from their king and like, try to steal swords and shields from the heroes instead of just doing damage, bc their new king is a pirate at heart and a bored v!Wind would absolutely train them to do that. 

- Every long-range weapon comes out. Every single one.

- (The woods are much sparser of melee-range monsters by this point anyways. Warriors don’t waste no time.)

- When it becomes increasingly clear that Link’s losing, Bellum suddenly jumps ship and attempts to possess one of the other heroes. (I haven’t decided which one would be most Dramatic, so let’s leave that for later.)

- Link immediately finds himself at war with Ganon’s remnants. It doesn’t put him down for the count, per se, but he has bigger problems than anyone not immediately attacking him. Probably-Twi takes over redirecting wild blows and distracting him, while the others focus on Bellum.

- (Sky, eyes glinting: My time has come! *Skyward Strikes the octo monster*)

- (Seriously though, Sky would destroy Bellum. It’s best defense in the face of the Master Sword is it’s speed and unpredictable movements. Can you even imagine)

- So the parasite explodes into a cloud of gold, and the LU boys gang up on Link. This takes longer, because Link/Ganon actually has a sense of self-preservation (not to mention a few fairies tucked away, which the heroes find bitterly unfair), but with eight of them they wear him down quickly enough.

END FIGHT

~o0o~

Shortly after Sky stabs Bellum through it’s massive eye, Link collapses to the forest floor in exhaustion. For the first time, the boy looks afraid, gaze darting from hero to hero unseeingly.

He claws at the glowing mark on his hand. “No no no, get out of my head, I still have to- I won’t-” his voice slips into Ganon’s seamlessly, not even a hitch, “-won’t let it end like this, I refuse, I will destroy all of-!”

The Triforce glows steadily brighter, and Link’s eyes bleed gold. His snarls turn animalistic as he hunches over on all fours. Shadows start creeping over his form, fingers sharpening into claws as-

Wild bats the boy through the undergrowth with a mace as long as the kid is tall.

Link crashes to a halt against a tree trunk, groaning, sword flying from limp fingers. He doesn’t get back up.

“What?” The scarred hero asks in the face of their collective scandalized looks. He hefts the heavy weapon over one shoulder. “He was doing something.”

Time breaks first, throwing back his head and laughing. The others exchange incredulous looks, before breaking out into similar giggles amongst themselves.

“I can’t believe you interrupted a transformation sequence like that,” Warriors chuckles.

“You’re an uncultured savage,” Legend snickers in agreement. “I need to try that next time.”

Wild shrugs, supremely unconcerned, as Time approaches the downed boy. Link is gasping for breath, one hand wrapped around his ribs and eyes unfocused as he fights a battle in his own mind. Those eyes snap to awareness, however, when Time levels his Biggoron Sword at him.

“Surrender,” Time demands. He means to say more, but is interrupted as Link starts cackling, loud and hysterical.

“Going to kill me again, boy?” He sneers, Ganon’s madness bleeding into the world through the vessel of Time’s successor. “Do you think that will be enough? Do you think that will stop me? The cycle will never-!”

“Time!” Someone calls in warning. Time whirls, just in time to catch a boot to the shoulder instead of the head. The owner of that boot pivots and slams her other heel into his cheek, sending stars flashing across his vision, before using Time’s shoulder as a jumping off point to land between him and his opponent.  

“What do you assholes think you’re doing to my idiot?!” Princess Zelda growls at them all.

“...Tetra,” Link breathes, eyes wide, nothing but a child once more. “You’re... You're awake?”

“Link,” Tetra snaps, pistol drawn and leveled at the staggering Time. “I’ve been having some unpleasant dreams since Bellum attacked me. You’re going to explain to me how much of it was real later.”

Oh. Oh no, she’s pissed. 

The part of Link that isn’t desperate not to get her killed by association kind of wants to go back to when the heroes were about to murder him, can he please do that?

“Miss Zelda,” Time begins. “Please calm down.” He lifts one of his arms, palm out, in a peaceful gesture that is completely ruined by the fact that his other brings his sword up into a ready position.

“How do you know that name?” Tetra demands, and Link feels like he's watching a shipwreck happening right before his eyes. He can't let them hurt Tetra, he can't.

For just a single heartbeat, no one’s looking at Link. With his right hand, he closes fingers on the Helmaroc Mask, still firmly on his forehead. With his left, he reaches into his robe. 

He still has one Phantom Sphere left.

~o0o~

"...Think they’re heading back to the village?" Someone asks, peering after the shadow in the distance. Even as they watch, Link seems to run out of strength midflight, sending him and his passenger spiraling unsteadily to the path below.

"Yeah, probably."

"Should we pursue them, or...?"

"Yes," Time decides. "We should see this through to the end." His eyes rake over the gathered heroes, cataloging injuries. "...But first, perhaps another visit to the fountain is in order."

~o0o~

(Meanwhile, halfway down the mountain:

"What do you mean I kicked the HERO OF TIME in the face?!?!")

[razieltwelve]

Copycat (RWBY AU Snippet)

Ever since Yang had been Chosen, she had acquired a new fashion accessory.

“Do you have to drape yourself over my head?” Yang grumbled.

Blake patted Yang’s cheek with one paw. “But you have such a comfy head, and the view from up here is just fantastic.” 

“Yeah. The view.” Yang rolled her eyes. “I bet you just stare at my chest from up there when you think I’m not looking.”

“Well, it is a nice chest,” Blake said. “And can you imagine how awkward it would be if I tried to drape myself over your head in my human form? You’re pretty tough for a mortal, Yang, but I’m pretty sure your neck can’t support that sort of weight.”

“And don't you have other things to do? You seem to spend an awful lot of time just hanging around.”

“Yang, one of my chief duties is to hunt down and exterminate demons and other threats that somehow make their way into the mortal world. Most of those threats prefer roaming around at night, which means I get to spend most of my days taking it easy.” Blake patted Yang’s forehead. “So, don’t worry. Goddess Blake is on the job. I’m not about to let some inter-dimensional, world-eating horror wipe out my Chosen.”

“Inter-dimensional, world-eating horrors are a thing now?”

“Oh, Yang. You mortals like to think you know so much about everything, but you should be glad you don’t.” Blake leaned over and peered into Yang’s eyes. Despite currently being a cat, she somehow managed to convey nearly infinite quantities of amusement. “The mortal world is like a little leaf floating across the surface of the ocean. There are so many things out there that could annihilate entire worlds with little more than a blink of their eyes. Every now and then, some of them stumble across this safe, peaceful part of Creation. Some of them are actually not that bad. They just want to hang out, buy an apartment, and maybe spend some time at the local mall. But most of them are bad news, Yang. The ones I killed last night could have devoured the souls of every mortal on the planet in the span of about ten minutes if the gods weren’t doing something about it.”

“Last night?” Yang’s eyes narrowed. “I’m pretty sure you were busy last night.”

“Heh.” Blake chortled. “What makes you think I can’t multi-task?” There was a shimmer, and Blake’s human form was suddenly walking alongside them, giving Yang a teasing smile. “I mean all gods can be in multiple places at once, but I’m especially good at being wherever I’m need.” The Blake walking alongside them latched onto Yang’s arm and gave her a smouldering look. “Not only can I protect the mortal world from evil, I can also give you the ravishing of a lifetime.”

Yang’s lips twitched. It had been a very good ravishing. “So how many copies of yourself can you make and what can you do with them?”

“As many as I want, Yang.” The Blake on top of her head leapt off and transformed into her human form. “And whatever I want.”

Yang’s mind immediately descended into the gutter. “Do you mean…?”

“Oh, Yang, I was wondering when you’d ask. You mortals can be so… stuffy about certain things.” Each Blake pressed a kiss to one of Yang’s cheeks. “But, yes, I can totally do this in the bedroom too.”

“Is that so…?” Yang looked about furtively. “How quickly could you get us back home?”

X     X     X

“Hmmm…” Ruby frowned. “Yang’s not answering her phone. Could you check if she’s all right, Weiss?”

Weiss glanced up from the report she was reading. Donations at Nora’s temples were way up this month, but it was storm season. She’d have to speak to the other goddess about being a little more careful this year. The difference between a Category III and a Category V hurricane might be trivial to a god, but it was not trivial to mortals. “Ruby, do you really think that spying on your sister is an appropriate use of my divine powers?”

“Uh… yeah?” Ruby laughed as Zwei spotted Weiss and hurried to commandeer the goddess’s lap. Weiss might occasionally pretend to be annoyed by the dog’s antics, but it hadn’t escaped Ruby’s notice that she always had treats on hand for the loveable canine. “I mean… don’t you already spy on all of us mortals anyway?”

“It is not spying, Ruby. I am simply a divine being of incomprehensible might and power. As the goddess of bureaucracy, I am aware of every single possible system and organisation in Creation. Moreover, you mortals are all part of the Soul Reincarnation System, a system that I helped develop. I am aware of all of you at all times.”

“That’s kind of creepy, Weiss.”

“You didn’t think it was creepy when you asked me to help you win at hide and seek.”

“I was five!” Ruby wailed. “And I didn’t realise I was speaking to an actual goddess. I thought you were my invisible friend or something!”

Weiss raised one eyebrow. “I introduced myself to you as Weiss, Goddess of Bureaucracy. I don’t see how any normal person, even a child, could misunderstand that.” Her lips twitched. “You even offered to give me one of your cookies if I hit one of the other kids with a bolt of lightning.”

Ruby made a choking sound. “I did not!”

“Ruby, I have absolutely perfect memory. You asked me to hit Emerald Sustrai with a bolt of lightning because she made fun of your makeshift cape.”

“My cape was awesome!” Ruby shook her fist at the sky. “And she deserved it.”

“Well, you should consider yourself lucky I didn’t indulge your little tantrum because she is also Chosen, and her goddess is far more vengeful than most.” Weiss waved Ruby over and tugged the mortal into her lap after sending Zwei off with a treat. “As for your sister, I’m not sure you want to know how she is.”

“Oh?” Ruby curled up against Weiss. “Why is that?” Was it odd that the goddess didn’t have a heartbeat? Instead, the air around her was filled with divine power that thrummed in time to the ebb and flow of Creation. Sometimes, if Ruby listened closely enough, she could almost have sworn she heard the wind howling around a desolate, icy peak. It should have been frightening, but it wasn’t. Instead, she found herself lost in the sound, and sometimes, she would dream of walking up that mountain, Weiss’s hand in hers, an endless field of stars above them.

“She is currently occupied,” Weiss said. She pressed a kiss to Ruby’s forehead. “With matters of an amorous nature.”

“Oh.”

“And in a most interesting way as well.”

“Oh?” Ruby couldn’t help the twinge of curiosity. She knew firsthand that gods like Weiss could be quite… ravenous in the bedroom. “What do you mean?”

“Do you really want to know?” Weiss asked.

Ruby blushed. “Um��� maybe?”

“Ah, there’s that curiosity of yours.” Weiss gazed into Ruby’s eyes and then reached forward to poke her nose. “It’s going to get you into trouble one of these days. But if you must know, it relates to an ability that all gods have that Blake is especially good at. Indeed, I’d say, out of all the gods, there are none who exceed her skill in this particular ability.”

“What ability is that?”

Weiss was suddenly standing next to Ruby… while still holding her on the couch. “A god’s being is not limited to a single physical form. I myself am capable of acting across an effectively infinite number of instances. Blake, though, she can guide her copies with… style, I suppose you could call it. She takes to splitting her attention and existence the way I take to paperwork.”

“So…?”

“Oh, Ruby.” Weiss smirked. “Your naivety is so delightful at times.” Weiss shifted on the couch to let her copy sit down as well. “After all, think of all the possibilities.”

“Possibilities - oh!” Ruby jerked as the Weiss behind her gave her bottom an affectionate pat before tugging her back to let the Weiss that had been holding her shift into a kneeling position. 

“You see,” the Weiss in front of Ruby said as the Weiss behind her held her flush against her chest. “Think of all the things two of me could do to you.” Weiss grinned as her copy leaned forward to nibble on Ruby’s ear. “You know what I can do with hands and my mouth, Ruby. Now double that.”

“Oh…” Ruby’s eyes had gone very wide indeed, and they went wider still as the Weiss in front of her reached for the buttons of her shirt. “And… and is that what Blake is doing with Yang?”

“Oh, I’ve no doubt that’s how she started. But given how long they’ve been going, well, a single copy is only a starting point.” Weiss grinned. “I must admit, I am curious to see just how many copies Yang can handle.” Her gaze shifted back to Ruby. “Although I am also curious about you…”

“Eep.”

“Relax.” Weiss chuckled as the copy behind Ruby vanished. “I can tell that you still find this… strange. But do let me know if you’re willing to try it.”

“Uh… sure.” Ruby took a deep breath. “Because, uh, just one of you is pretty much more than I can handle already.”

“Practice, Ruby.” Weiss resumed unbuttoning her shirt. “Practice makes perfect.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

More divine hijinks. Blake is actually a very hard-working goddess. The only reason people don’t notice how hard she works is because of how well she does her job. Naturally, she also likes to enjoy her time off as much as possible.

As for Weiss, well, she’s always busy, which is why she tends to drop in for several hours each day rather than simply spend huge chunks of time around all at once.

Nora is one of the most well-known goddesses due to her powers. As you can imagine, she is also a very popular goddess come storm season since a little bit of intervention from her can turn a city-devastating hurricane into a little rain shower.

You can find me on fanfiction.net, AO3, and Amazon.

[adelindschade]

Have I ever told you about my irrational fear of tornadoes?

I shouldn’t say it’s irrational. It’s a very valid fear but the sheer anxiety I experience when it’s even a possibility makes a very high dysfunctional fear I’ve been plagued by since I was a toddler.

*if you have a vague idea was a tornado is like - let me paint the picture: Before the death funnel drops, you feel a distinctive drop of pressure. The skies turn an eerie green (”skies are green, get ready to scream” was a motto my grandma always said) and the wind REALLY picks up. If you live close to the woods like I did, they effers SHOOK. Some broke off. It’s very apparent this isn’t just a passing breeze. Rain hails down on the windows and then actual hail follows. It slams on the roof like rocks on a tin can. Very loud. Very scary.

* The link is actually taken in my hometown. While not a tornado, it’s a very close resemblance of just how LOUD these storms can get, and storms like these can produce rotation (which in itself can descend onto the ground to become a full fledged tornado).

( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Yan5RAjy_s ) Maybe skip ahead around the 0:50 - 1:00 mark.

Then the sirens pop off. Deafening sirens almost as loud as the wind itself. Sharp, piercing, and uncomfortable wailing that echoes because they post a couple of them within the mile radius to make sure EVERYONE can hear . If you’re curious and don’t live in an area where these aren’t common, look ‘em up on YouTube. It’s eerie and anxiety inducing.

If you’re unfortunate enough to actually be caught in one - the ROAR is real. People describe them as a freight train and it’s spot on. It’s a range of 50 - 230 MPH winds funneling - picking up speed, debris, and color by the minute. A rope like structure can quickly encompass a mile wide monster that’s a big, black wall - you can’t see around it or through it. You can sure as hell hear it though. It’s a very heavy, low rumbling sound layered with a  deafening wind.

(Pictured: an 1890 Tornado that terrorized Lake Gervais, outside Minnesota State Capital, St. Paul).

Once it’s on a warpath, the best you can do is get to low ground, avoid windows, hold on tight and hunker down. Cover yourself with something like a shield - a twin mattress, couch pads, blankets, to prevent direct hits from debris.

These monsters can suck up houses from their foundations, tear buildings apart - wood by wood, nail by nail - and throw trucks into the next county.

Like so:

(Pictured: Fridley (a suburb outside Minneapolis) aftermath of the Minnesota Twin Cities Tornado outbreak in 1965.)

(Pictured: Damage of St. Paul Capitol after 1904 Tornado)

(Pictured: Anoka, MN infamous Father’s Day tornado, 1939)

What’s worst - these are not geographically contained like hurricanes (although the Great Lakes are known to have their own mini Hurricanes  like the Great storm of 1913 - I highly recommend you look it up!!) Tornadoes can happen anywhere but are notorious in the valley area stemming from Minnesota (Canada, too!) to Texas.

Even though we are wayyyy up north, Minnesota is technically still in tornado alley, and we continuously get tornadoes annually. A major metropolis (North Minneapolis) was hit only a couple years ago! (date checked: 2011). I’ve always lived within a 20 mile radius of the main cities, so even though most of the tornadoes reported are either southeast or plain south, tornadoes in central Minnesota are a huge possibility.

(Pictured: North Minneapolis Tornado damage)

I’ve never really figured out before how I got this fear (until this summer when mom DROPPED A BALL ON ME) but it’s pretty much a certified phobia since I can remember. When the skies turned green, the wind picked up, and the weather forecast showed red or yellow over Washington county, y’all - when I tell you I went into survival mode, you better believe it. I didn’t waste a second!

While my parents occasionally peaked out the window and straight up ignored the storm outside, I was the exact opposite.

I’d grab my cat, the dogs, my blankets, my pillows, and TWO flashlights and lock myself in the basement bathroom. I REFUSED to leave for hours at end until I KNEW the clouds passed over. My parents were so DONE with my dramatic ass but I wasn’t taking no chances.

NOW THAT I PAINTED THE PICTURE...

I hope you get a grasp of just how vile and deadly these things can be. From a scale of F0-1 which is very light damage to F5 with can see up to 10+ casualties and literally level landscapes (no foundations, soil ripped up as deep as 4-5 feet).

Now let’s backpeddle to the early 2000s. I’m about 7-8. My brother was just a tot. That’s the timeline I got from my mom. She was telling the family over this year’s fourth of July about the Tornado in Hinckley, MN (our annual summer campground & 3 hours drive from my hometown) prompted by some insane rain storm we just waited through. Not just another tornado - the one we actually had to evacuate in the dead of early morning because it was dead set for the campgrounds and EVERYONE was being woke up and told to GTFO. That turned my head - what?? I don’t remember this!!

So Hinckley has like trailers (chalets) and actually campgrounds for RVS and tents. Next door is the big casino. My aunt & uncle stayed in their souped up RV. Grandma would stay in her chalet close to ours.

So it’s about let’s say - 12 to 3 AM - very unusual hours but very dark. You can’t see shit outside the window. The rain is barrelling down. My mom is woken up to the chalet SHAKING. She swears it was actually picked and I believe it because the wind was insane. Tents were flying across the road. Literally in a split second lights blare through the windows and the  staff were coming through with these shuttles and yelling through microphones “EVERYONE EVACUATE TO THE CASINO! THERE IS A TORNADO WARNING! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! PLEASE EVACUATE TO THE CASINO UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!”

It was chaos. My brother and I were asleep and my mom woke us up in full fledged panic (thanks mom! I now know where I get it from now!!) My dad is pissed because his sleep is disrupted (psst. He’s a dick). We pack up our two dogs, ship to the casino, and huddle in the middle of the slot machines while HAIL IS PELTING THE ROOF. You hear wind roaring. You hear people panicking and employees talking over walkies evaluating procedures and damage. People are screaming, crying, kids are wailing, and I’m pretty the reason why I don’t remember any of this is because I suppressed the entire traumatic experience.

Imagine having to be uprooted in the middle of night, waking up to the surreal picture of shit FLYING EVERYWHERE, can’t see a few feet ahead of you because the rain is coming down hard, people screaming, parents panicking, and the dogs scared shitless while employees are directing you to the middle of this place that is packed with equally frightened people! It was a disaster zone with flashing yellow lights and sirens.

I’m sure this was the very moment my fear was nailed. I may have suppressed the memory but the remaining fear and anxiety only got worse throughout the years.

We came back to a disaster zone. It wasn’t like Moore or Joplin. It was a a few displaced tents, damaged RVs, and scattered articles but the whole experience ruined me as a kid and certified that I’d be perpetually scared of the mere idea of a tornado. Holy was that a huge revelation for me that Fourth of July. It explains so much. Usually calm and collected Cass turns 180 whenever the wind picks up during a storm. All because the weather put a damper on our summer weekend.

And that’s how I got this irrational fear of tornadoes or adequately named, death funnels.

[italian-landscapes]

La Divina Commedia di Dante Alighieri, Inferno, canto V

English version below.

A little poetry, you filthy sinners!

The story is set in the Castle of Gradara, at the time ruled by the family Malatesta, Lords of the close Rimini.

It’s well known in Italy because of the tragic story of Paolo and Francesca, narrated by Dante in his famous poem “La Divina Commedia” (Inferno), that took place here.

The story goes that Dante and his mentor Virgil (famous Roman poet) meet two twin souls in the lascivious circle.

They are throwing away by an unceasing wind with the carnal sinners and, unlike the other damned souls, they are the ones that “flying” together. Called upon to tell their story, the fair Francesca da Polenta tells her story to Dante: she had been promised to the powerful Lord of Rimini and Gradara, Gianciotto Malatesta, an ugly, bad, ferocious man. Gianciotto’s younger brother, Paolo, was sent to take her to Rimini for the marriage. Unfortunately, Paolo was a very handsome man, and of course (this remember me an endless series of fairy tales, but it seems to be a quite real story) she fell in love with him. Anyway, the wedding took place (no way to be called off, in those times).

Dante asks Francesca (she only speaks, while Paolo goes on crying all the time), how they fell in love: she replies him that, while the two alone were reading about Lancelot and Guinevere and their kiss, that was the moment when they turned pale and kiss each other. Not long after, her husband caught them “together” and murdered the two of them. As they died in mortal sin, they were sentenced to hell’s lascivious circle, but they at least stay forever side by side. Undoubtedly (at least for me), the best Dante’s canto of all his work.

Così discesi dal cerchio primaio giù nel secondo, che men loco cinghia e tanto più dolor, che punge a guaio. 3

Stavvi Minòs orribilmente, e ringhia: essamina le colpe ne l’intrata; giudica e manda secondo ch’avvinghia. 6

Dico che quando l’anima mal nata li vien dinanzi, tutta si confessa; e quel conoscitor de le peccata 9

vede qual loco d’inferno è da essa; cignesi con la coda tante volte quantunque gradi vuol che giù sia messa. 12

Sempre dinanzi a lui ne stanno molte: vanno a vicenda ciascuna al giudizio, dicono e odono e poi son giù volte. 15

"O tu che vieni al doloroso ospizio", disse Minòs a me quando mi vide, lasciando l’atto di cotanto offizio, 18

"guarda com’entri e di cui tu ti fide; non t’inganni l’ampiezza de l’intrare!". E ’l buon maestro a lui: "Perché pur gride? 21

Non impedir lo suo fatale andare: vuolsi così colà dove si puote ciò che si vuole, e più non dimandare". 24

Or incomincian le dolenti note a farmisi sentire; or son venuto là dove molto pianto mi percuote. 27

Io venni in loco d’ogne luce muto, che mugghia come fa mar per tempesta, se da contrari venti è combattuto. 30

La bufera infernal, che mai non resta, mena li spirti con la sua rapina; voltando e percotendo li molesta. 33

Quando giungon davanti a la ruina, quivi le strida, il compianto, il lamento; bestemmian quivi la virtù divina. 36

Intesi ch’a così fatto tormento enno dannati i peccator carnali, che la ragion sommettono al talento. 39

E come li stornei ne portan l’ali nel freddo tempo, a schiera larga e piena, così quel fiato li spiriti mali 42

di qua, di là, di giù, di su li mena; nulla speranza li conforta mai, non che di posa, ma di minor pena. 45

E come i gru van cantando lor lai, faccendo in aere di sé lunga riga, così vid’io venir, traendo guai, 48

ombre portate da la detta briga; per ch’i’ dissi: "Maestro, chi son quelle genti che l’aura nera sì gastiga?". 51

"La prima di color di cui novelle tu vuo' saper", mi disse quelli allotta, "fu imperadrice di molte favelle. 54

A vizio di lussuria fu sì rotta, che libito fé licito in sua legge, per tòrre il biasmo in che era condotta. 57

Ell’è Semiramìs, di cui si legge che succedette a Nino e fu sua sposa: tenne la terra che ’l Soldan corregge. 60

L’altra è colei che s’ancise amorosa, e ruppe fede al cener di Sicheo; poi è Cleopatràs lussurïosa. 63

Elena vedi, per cui tanto reo tempo si volse, e vedi ’l grande Achille, che con amore al fine combatteo. 66

Vedi Parìs, Tristano"; e più di mille ombre mostrommi e nominommi a dito, ch’amor di nostra vita dipartille. 69

Poscia ch’io ebbi ’l mio dottore udito nomar le donne antiche e ’ cavalieri, pietà mi giunse, e fui quasi smarrito. 72

I’ cominciai: "Poeta, volontieri parlerei a quei due che ’nsieme vanno, e paion sì al vento esser leggeri". 75

Ed elli a me: "Vedrai quando saranno più presso a noi; e tu allor li priega per quello amor che i mena, ed ei verranno". 78

Sì tosto come il vento a noi li piega, mossi la voce: "O anime affannate, venite a noi parlar, s’altri nol niega!". 81

Quali colombe dal disio chiamate con l’ali alzate e ferme al dolce nido vegnon per l’aere, dal voler portate; 84

cotali uscir de la schiera ov’è Dido, a noi venendo per l’aere maligno, sì forte fu l’affettüoso grido. 87

"O animal grazïoso e benigno che visitando vai per l’aere perso noi che tignemmo il mondo di sanguigno, 90

se fosse amico il re de l’universo, noi pregheremmo lui de la tua pace, poi c’ hai pietà del nostro mal perverso. 93

Di quel che udire e che parlar vi piace, noi udiremo e parleremo a voi, mentre che ’l vento, come fa, si tace. 96

Siede la terra dove nata fui su la marina dove ’l Po discende per aver pace co’ seguaci sui. 99

Amor, ch'al cor gentil ratto s'apprende, prese costui de la bella persona che mi fu tolta; e 'l modo ancor m'offende. 102

Amor, ch’a nullo amato amar perdona, mi prese del costui piacer sì forte, che, come vedi, ancor non m’abbandona. 105

Amor condusse noi ad una morte. Caina attende chi a vita ci spense". Queste parole da lor ci fuor porte. 108

Quand’io intesi quell’anime offense, china’ il viso, e tanto il tenni basso, fin che ’l poeta mi disse: "Che pense?". 111

Quando rispuosi, cominciai: "Oh lasso, quanti dolci pensier, quanto disio menò costoro al doloroso passo!". 114

Poi mi rivolsi a loro e parla’ io, e cominciai: "Francesca, i tuoi martìri a lagrimar mi fanno tristo e pio. 117

Ma dimmi: al tempo d’i dolci sospiri, a che e come concedette amore che conosceste i dubbiosi disiri?". 120

Ed  ella a me: "Nessun maggior dolore che ricordarsi del tempo felice ne la miseria; e ciò sa 'l tuo dottore. 123

Ma s’a conoscer la prima radice del nostro amor tu hai cotanto affetto, dirò come colui che piange e dice. 126

Noi leggiavamo un giorno per diletto di Lancialotto come amor lo strinse; soli eravamo e sanza alcun sospetto. 129

Per più fïate li occhi ci sospinse quella lettura, e scolorocci il viso; ma solo un punto fu quel che ci vinse. 132

Quando leggemmo il disïato riso esser basciato da cotanto amante, questi, che mai da me non fia diviso, 135

la bocca mi basciò tutto tremante. Galeotto fu ’l libro e chi lo scrisse: quel giorno più non vi leggemmo avante". 138

Mentre che l'uno spirto questo disse, l'altro piangëa; sì che di pietade io venni men così com'io morisse. 141

E caddi come corpo morto cade.

The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri, Inferno, Canto V, Translated by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Thus I descended out of the first circle   Down to the second, that less space begirds,   And so much greater dole, that goads to wailing. There standeth Minos horribly, and snarls;   Examines the transgressions at the entrance;   Judges, and sends according as he girds him. I say, that when the spirit evil-born   Cometh before him, wholly it confesses;   And this discriminator of transgressions Seeth what place in Hell is meet for it;   Girds himself with his tail as many times   As grades he wishes it should be thrust down. Always before him many of them stand;   They go by turns each one unto the judgment;   They speak, and hear, and then are downward hurled. "O thou, that to this dolorous hostelry   Comest," said Minos to me, when he saw me,   Leaving the practice of so great an office, "Look how thou enterest, and in whom thou trustest;   Let not the portal's amplitude deceive thee."   And unto him my Guide: "Why criest thou too? Do not impede his journey fate-ordained;   It is so willed there where is power to do   That which is willed; and ask no further question." And now begin the dolesome notes to grow   Audible unto me; now am I come   There where much lamentation strikes upon me. I came into a place mute of all light,   Which bellows as the sea does in a tempest,   If by opposing winds 't is combated. The infernal hurricane that never rests   Hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine;   Whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. When they arrive before the precipice,   There are the shrieks, the plaints, and the laments,   There they blaspheme the puissance divine. I understood that unto such a torment   The carnal malefactors were condemned,   Who reason subjugate to appetite. And as the wings of starlings bear them on   In the cold season in large band and full,   So doth that blast the spirits maledict; It hither, thither, downward, upward, drives them;   No hope doth comfort them for evermore,   Not of repose, but even of lesser pain. And as the cranes go chanting forth their lays,   Making in air a long line of themselves,   So saw I coming, uttering lamentations, Shadows borne onward by the aforesaid stress.   Whereupon said I: "Master, who are those   People, whom the black air so castigates?" "The first of those, of whom intelligence   Thou fain wouldst have," then said he unto me,   "The empress was of many languages. To sensual vices she was so abandoned,   That lustful she made licit in her law,   To remove the blame to which she had been led. She is Semiramis, of whom we read   That she succeeded Ninus, and was his spouse;   She held the land which now the Sultan rules. The next is she who killed herself for love,   And broke faith with the ashes of Sichaeus;   Then Cleopatra the voluptuous." Helen I saw, for whom so many ruthless   Seasons revolved; and saw the great Achilles,   Who at the last hour combated with Love. Paris I saw, Tristan; and more than a thousand   Shades did he name and point out with his finger,   Whom Love had separated from our life. After that I had listened to my Teacher,   Naming the dames of eld and cavaliers,   Pity prevailed, and I was nigh bewildered. And I began: "O Poet, willingly   Speak would I to those two, who go together,   And seem upon the wind to be so light." And, he to me: "Thou'lt mark, when they shall be   Nearer to us; and then do thou implore them   By love which leadeth them, and they will come." Soon as the wind in our direction sways them,   My voice uplift I: "O ye weary souls!   Come speak to us, if no one interdicts it." As turtle-doves, called onward by desire,   With open and steady wings to the sweet nest   Fly through the air by their volition borne, So came they from the band where Dido is,   Approaching us athwart the air malign,   So strong was the affectionate appeal. "O living creature gracious and benignant,   Who visiting goest through the purple air   Us, who have stained the world incarnadine, If were the King of the Universe our friend,   We would pray unto him to give thee peace,   Since thou hast pity on our woe perverse. Of what it pleases thee to hear and speak,   That will we hear, and we will speak to you,   While silent is the wind, as it is now. Sitteth the city, wherein I was born,   Upon the sea-shore where the Po descends   To rest in peace with all his retinue. Love, that on gentle heart doth swiftly seize,   Seized this man for the person beautiful   That was ta'en from me, and still the mode offends me. Love, that exempts no one beloved from loving,   Seized me with pleasure of this man so strongly,   That, as thou seest, it doth not yet desert me; Love has conducted us unto one death;   Caina waiteth him who quenched our life!"   These words were borne along from them to us. As soon as I had heard those souls tormented,   I bowed my face, and so long held it down   Until the Poet said to me: "What thinkest?" When I made answer, I began: "Alas!   How many pleasant thoughts, how much desire,   Conducted these unto the dolorous pass!" Then unto them I turned me, and I spake,   And I began: "Thine agonies, Francesca,   Sad and compassionate to weeping make me. But tell me, at the time of those sweet sighs,   By what and in what manner Love conceded,   That you should know your dubious desires?" And she to me: "There is no greater sorrow   Than to be mindful of the happy time   In misery, and that thy Teacher knows. But, if to recognise the earliest root   Of love in us thou hast so great desire,   I will do even as he who weeps and speaks. One day we reading were for our delight   Of Launcelot, how Love did him enthral.   Alone we were and without any fear. Full many a time our eyes together drew   That reading, and drove the colour from our faces;   But one point only was it that o'ercame us. When as we read of the much-longed-for smile   Being by such a noble lover kissed,   This one, who ne'er from me shall be divided, Kissed me upon the mouth all palpitating.   Galeotto was the book and he who wrote it.   That day no farther did we read therein." And all the while one spirit uttered this,   The other one did weep so, that, for pity,   I swooned away as if I had been dying, And fell, even as a dead body falls.

[aceb133]

Star, Queen of Mewni: Part V

First Chapter Previous Chapter

In which we find out what really happened all those years ago. 

This was a difficult chapter to write, for a variety of reasons-if anyone has any thoughts on it, please leave a comment or drop a line. I’d love to hear what thoughts people have, both positive and negative.

With a solemn finality, the last vestiges of the old mewman village sunk into the ground, stone walls and wooden frames collapsing into the muck and mire. Of the monsters who had escaped, none turned to watch as the only evidence of the Spider’s Lair’s existence disappeared into the riverbank. Not one wanted to risk the consequences of lingering too long.

For several minutes, there was silence. The sky above darkened, and a gentle rain began to fall, churning the dirt into a thick muck.

Then, the mud began to vibrate.

It was imperceptible at first, the effect indistinguishable from the rippling of the falling rain. But slowly, and surely, the mud began to rumble and churn, and the vibrations spreading across an ever-widening area. Soon, even the trees were violently shaking and raining broken branches, while the river itself began to recede. High above, the clouds were parting, and soon a circle of clear sky formed over the ruin-even as the winds around the swamp rapidly whipped and wailed ever faster and ever harsher, and the rain beat down with hurricane force. Before long, lightning began cutting across the sky, and thunder shook the ground.

The mud began to boil, popping and hissing as though the bedrock below had become a skillet. As each bubble of mud exploded and flung dirt and debris into the air, the detritus did not come down, but remained suspended, hanging in space.

Then, just as the display reached a fever pitch, the ground erupted, shooting up a massive cloud of mud, rock, and debris, all illuminated by a brilliant, blinding light from below. The light rapidly grew in strength and intensity until, at last, Star Butterfly rose up from the cavernous hole she had created.

Her body briefly hung in the air, orbited by all the tons of rock and debris she’d lifted up alongside her-but then, the glow faded, and she fell to the ground. For a moment, the debris fell like rain upon the churned mud. Then, as the last brick hit the ground with a wet ‘thud’, the winds died down, the clouds above closed, and the gentle rain resumed.

For a long while, the body of Queen Butterfly laid spread-eagle in the mud, her eyes closed and body motionless. Then, without warning, she sat up and gasped for air, clutching her chest in one hand and propping herself up against the ground with the other. Her body was battered and bruised. Her armor was filthy and dented, her left pauldron had been shorn clean off, and her left boot was nowhere to be seen.

But she was alive.

Slowly, Star staggered to her feet, her uncovered foot sinking slightly in the soft mud. She looked up and stared at the sky, dumbfounded, as the rain continued to fall on her weary body.

And then, a manic grin came to her face, and a crazed look shaped her eyes. Whooping, Star leapt awkwardly into the air, and pumped her right fist.

“ANYBODY ELSE WANT SOME OF THIS?” She shouted, her voice echoing through the empty riverbank. “BECAUSE I GOT PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM!”

Raising her arms, she looked around, an insane part of her almost wishing for another monster to fight then and there. “YOU COME AT THE QUEEN,” she shouted, “YOU BEST NOT MISS!”

Laughing like a woman possessed, Star collapsed back down to the ground, shaking her fist at the air in triumph. For three weeks, she’d been following this trail-hunting down monsters, turning informants, and keeping to the shadows as much as possible as she sought to track down her daughter. For all of his talk of hunting down rogue monsters and upholding the terms of the New Monster Mewman Accords, Renwick and the Royal Guard had been unable to track down the any of the Monster Liberation Front’s bases in the five years  since Star had reluctantly authorized them to do so-and now, she’d singlehanded destroyed what surely had been their base of operations.

In the moment, the feeling of victory was exhilarating. She hadn’t done anything like this since she was a teenager, let alone since she’d become queen. It was like she was fourteen again, hunting monsters and going on adventures, like she’d done with Marco and the rest of her friends.

Marco. Star chuckled at the thought of her old friend, and all the adventures they’d had: Fighting Ludo, vanquishing Toffee, and defeating all the rest of the monsters that had come after her wand. It had been such a long time-thirty years! She could hardly believe it, and yet the memories were still felt fresh in her mind. She could still picture his face cleanly in her mind’s eye-even though she hadn’t seen him since before she’d become queen either, since…

Star’s elation at her ‘victory’ died quickly as she remembered what she’d come here to do. She’d been convinced that this was where the monsters were holding her daughter hostage, at what could only be their base of operations. After all this time of planning and investigating, she thought she’d solved the puzzle, and she was going to finally rescue Connie from their clutches. But she’d been wrong-and now the only lead she’d had to find her daughter lay beneath a hundred feet of dirt and rubble.

Wincing from the pain, Star leaned forward and looked down at the formless mass of mud before her that had once been the entrance to the Monster Liberation Front’s secret base. Even more than her failure at finding her daughter, what bothered Star more than anything else was what that old monster general had said, just before he’d tried to bury them both alive-that her daughter had gone with the monsters willingly.

Star’s brain hurt trying to think about it. She knew that her daughter had been taken by the monsters after the attack on the castle, of that she was certain. And it was possible that the monster had been lying-but why would he lie? And where was Connie now? And if she had gone with them, why? And why wouldn’t she have at least tried to contact her mother? And why-

Star clutched the bridge of her nose, her head pounding. Whatever had happened to her daughter, she wasn’t going to figure it out while sitting in a puddle of mud in the rain. After fighting constantly for nearly three weeks, barely pausing to eat or sleep, she was exhausted emotionally and physically. At this point, as much as she’d been avoiding it… she only had one option left.

Groaning, she stood up, instantly sinking to her knees in the deep muck. Frowning, she fished around her armor and gave a sigh of relief when she found her dimensional scissors still attached to her person. Taking them, she ripped them through the air and tore open a dimensional portal. After struggling to lift her feet from the muck, she groaned and settled for merely falling through the portal face-first.

The first thing she felt was a rush of warm air. The second was the impact of pavement against her armor, knocking the wind out of her-and also knocking her feet out of the muck on the other side of the portal. Crawling forward, she pulled her entire body through the portal and watched it collapse behind her. Then, she looked around.

Southern California hadn’t changed much since she’d lived there three decades prior. The sky was still a brilliant blue, a massive empty space occupied only by the clouds above and the low-lying morning sun. The American flag still flew over the shops and buildings around her, flapping gently in the breeze. And-

Star was nearly jolted to her feet by the sound of a loud horn blaring behind her. Before she could turn around, she heard the squeal of tires and watched as a car swerved past her, its driver cursing loudly and incomprehensibly at the crazy woman lying in the middle of the street.

She frowned, and rolled her eyes. The drivers hadn’t changed much either.

Slowly, Star stood up to her feet, ignoring the feeling of the pavement boiling against her bare right sole. Looking around, she quickly saw her target-a tall apartment building only a block away, stretching over two dozen stories into the sky.

Staggering up to the curb, Star began walking forward along the sidewalk, keeping a mindful eye on the concrete in front of her to avoid broken glass and other dangers to her bare foot. A handful of passerby stopped and stared, but Star ignored them. As she reached the entrance to the apartment tower, a woman began to exit the building, and, catching sight of Star in front of her, stopped in her tracks.

Star sighed wearily. “Can you let me in?” she asked, “I’m here to see a friend.”

The woman glanced nervously back and forth. “Uh, I don’t think-“

Star ignored her, grabbed the door, and pulled it open. Stuttering, the woman could only watch as Star walked through the lobby, tracking mud across the polished tile. Spotting the elevator, Star saw a man inside staring at her and frantically pushing a button. Moving quickly, Star stuck her arm through the opening just as the doors sealed shut, and forced her way through.

“Thirteenth floor, please?” Star asked wearily. The man, staring at Star, instead hit the button for the 2nd floor, and practically ran through the door as soon as it cracked open. Sighing, Star dialed in the correct floor herself, and leaned back against the wall as the elevator slowly climbed up the shaft.

With a light ‘ding’, the elevator reached its destination, and Star pushed herself forward as the doors opened out into a tasteful, if sparsely decorated lobby. Glancing at the apartment numbers on the wall, Star struggled to remember the apartment number. It was either 1312 or 1321, and for the life of her she could not remember which.

Sighing, she gave up, and merely headed for the one that was closer. Knocking on the door, she only had to wait a few seconds before it opened, and was immediately rewarded by the sight of a small face peered up at her from below.

“Aunt Star!” the face squealed. A second later, the door flew open, and a six-year old girl attached herself to Star’s bare, muddy leg. “I thought you left foreeeeever!”

“Shelly? Who’s at the…”

Star looked up, and saw Janna staring at her, awestruck. “Star? Ho-ly shit, what the hell happened to you?”

Janna, Star noted, had changed remarkably little since high school. Sure, the tattoos and piercings were new, as were the heavy bags under her eyes that only a sleepless six year-old could generate, but in spirit and attitude Janna was still very much the aloof, yet caring and dedicated individual Star had befriended all those years ago.

“Oh, this? This is nothing, you should see the other guy.” Star said, chuckling wearily. “But, uh, before we go any further, do you mind if I use your tub? I don’t think I’ve had a shower in three weeks.”

Janna took a suspicious whiff, and nearly gagged. “Yeah, that might be a good idea,” she said, grimacing. “Bathroom’s right down the hall on the left.”

“Thanks,” Star said, and looked down. Shelly was still clutching her leg tightly, making it impossible to move.

“Uh, Shelly? Could you let go of Aunt Star, so I can go get cleaned off?” Star asked as gently as possible.

“No! I don’t want you to leave again!” Shelly said, and squeezed Star’s leg even tighter.

“Ooh, boy.” Star said under her breath. “Shelly, sweetie, I’m not leaving, I’m just taking a bath. I’ll be out as soon as I’m done.”

“Nooooooo!”

Janna stifled a giggle as Star rolled her eyes, helpless in the face of the first-grader’s obstinacy. “I warned you about canceling on her birthday, Star.”

Star groaned-but then, an idea struck her,  and she leaned down over Shelly. “Now Shelly, if you don’t let go, I won’t be able to show you your new friend!”

Shelly immediately looked up into Star’s eyes, utterly transfixed. “New friend?”

Star nodded. “That’s right sweetie, but you have to get off me first.”

Shelly immediately released Star’s leg, and looked up at her expectantly. Star smirked at the sight, and closed her eyes. Breathing deeply, her cheeks began to glow. Dipping down, Star channeled the magic within her and pointed to an empty spot on the carpet. A second later, there was a flash of light, and out of nowhere a large, sentient, and clearly confused beanbag chair exploded into existence.

Shelly stood stock-still as the beanbag chair gingerly took a step forward, not quite believing in its own existence. Then, it looked up towards Star, shocked.

“Star! I thought you’d forgotten about me!” it said, waving its stubby, stuffed arms.

“Oh Beanbag, how could I forget about you?” Star said, crouching down and embracing her soft, stuffed creation. “Now, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Shelly?”

The girl continued to stare.

“This is my old friend Beanbag!” Star said cheerfully. He’s a great buddy, and he’s really good at hide-and-go-seek, isn’t that right?”

“Actually-“

“ANYWAY,” Star continued, “He’s your friend now! Why don’t you two go play?”

Janna gave Star a glance of parental concern. “Uh, Star, are you sure that’s a good-“

“YAAAAAY!” Shelly shouted, and immediately ran to tackle Beanbag. The sentient cushion turned and ran as quickly as he could, waddling down the hall as quickly as his stubby legs should carry him.

“That should keep her occupied for a bit.” Star said, breathing deeply. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to collapse in your tub.”

“Trust me, Star.” Janna said. “I insist.”

----------

It was amazing what a simple bath and subsequent eight-hour nap could do.

When she’d arrived at Janna’s apartment, Star had looked, and felt, disturbingly similar to a walking corpse. The hour-long soak in her tub had helped alleviate that, and the subsequent nap was the first uninterrupted rest she’d had in weeks.

Now, sitting in a nearby café, dressed in a fresh set of Janna’s spare clothes, and halfway through wolfing down a massive club sandwich, Star felt… normal again. It was an odd feeling after running on adrenaline for so long, and it was tinged with guilt-but she relished it all the same.

Across the table, however, Star saw Janna regarding her with a look of confusion and concern, barely touching her own salad. Sighing, Star set down her food and stared Janna in the eye.

“So, when are you going to ask me?” Star asked.

“What, why did the chicken cross the road?” Janna said, clearly deflecting the questiony. “Pretty we’ve gone over that pretty thoroughly.”

Star rolled her eyes. “No, why the Queen of Mewni just strolled into your apartment looking like I’d crawled out of the grave.”

“Oh, that.” Janna replied. “Yeah, I guess that was a little weird.”

Star glared at her.

Janna sighed. “Star, we’ve known each other since we were fourteen. Weird shit happens to you all the time. And hell, you’ve told me all the bullshit you have to put up with back on Mewni. I mean, yeah, I’m concerned, but I’m not gonna ask unless you want me to ask, you know? We’re friends, all I need to know is that you’re alive and still kicking ass.”

Fighting back tears, Star stood up and reached across the table to hug Janna.

“Trust me, you don’t know how much that means to me right now.” Star said, clutching her friend close.

Janna laughed, and patted Star on the back. “I’ve got your back, girl. Never forget that.”

Releasing her friend, Star sat back down in her chair, pushed what was left of her sandwich aside, and sighed. “Okay, so: about three weeks ago, someone tried to kill me-“

Janna nearly flipped over her bowl of salad. “They what?”

Star waved her off. “Oh don’t worry about that, obviously I’m fine,” she said, “But Connie went missing-“

“She what?!”

This time, the salad bowl did go flying, painting the floor with lettuce, spinach, and Italian dressing.

“Yeah.” Star replied. “For the past three weeks, I’ve been trying to find her, but… so far, I haven’t exactly had much luck. I thought she’d been kidnapped by monsters, but maybe she wasn’t?”

She sighed. “Suffice it to say, it’s been a pretty crappy month.”

“Star, I just… damn.” Janna said. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now.”

“It’s… not great.” Star admitted. “I mean, the only good news is that I don’t think Connie is in danger… I think. But now, I don’t know what I should do.”

She groaned. “Okay, actually I know what I should do, I just really, really do not want to do it.”

Janna stared at Star. “You mean-“

“Yeah, yeah I do. That’s the real reason I’m here.” Star said. “I need you to help me find Marco.”

----------

Marco Diaz shifted uncomfortably in his suit, keeping one eye on the door and the other on the clock on the wall. It felt as though he’d been preparing for this appointment for a lifetime, and yet, he still wasn’t ready. But there was no delaying any longer.

“James, please come in.” he said, trying to keep his voice as even and authoritative as possible. He was rewarded by the sight of the door opening immediately, revealing a surly teenager on the other side. Clothed in a torn, beaten leather jacket, ripped and dirty jeans, and a faded t-shirt for a band Marco had never heard of, everything about the boy screamed “Troubled youth.”

And unfortunately, he was Marco’s responsibility in more ways than one.

“Dad, do we really have to do this?” the boy said. “I mean, come on, it’s not like you haven’t ragged on me about this stuff before.”

Marco sighed. “I know James, I know. Believe me, I tried to talk to Principal Smithington about it, and I asked if Ms. Lorenz could do it, but she’s out of town, it’s a state requirement, and-“

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” James said, and sat down in the chair in front of Marco’s desk. Kicking his foot against the ground, he spun around once, quickly returning to Marco’s disapproving frown.

“Alright, let’s just get this over with.” Marco said, opening his son’s folder and looking down at the required checklist. “So, have you given much thought to your future?”

“Oh yeah, definitely.” James said. “I figured I was gonna fight, you know, terminators and mutants and junk, drive around the wasteland, pick up chicks, all that fun stuff.”

“Well, seems like you’ve got things pretty well figured out.” Marco said. “But what are you going to do if the apocalypse doesn’t happen?”

James shrugged. “Oh, you know, I could be a stuntperson maybe, like mom. She does a lot of cool stuff.”

Marco nodded, jotting down his observations on James’ file. “See, there’s a thought. This town always needs more stuntmen, after all. They make pretty good money, too, and obviously your mom has a lot of connections she could use to help you start out in the business.”

James looked at his father, grinning. “What, aren’t you gonna tell me that it’s too dangerous, and that I should get a boring job like you have where you gotta wear a suit and tie all day?”

“For the record,” Marco said, “I don’t technically have to wear the suit. And… James, let’s be honest for a second,” he said, closing the folder in front of him. “You’re fourteen. You’ve got a lot of years ahead of you to figure things out, and decide who you really want to be. I’m not going to sit here and try and push you in some direction you don’t want to go in. I just want you to be happy and successful, and if that means being a stuntman, or doing something else dangerous…” Marco sighed, “Well, I wouldn’t be thrilled, but I trust that you’re going to make the right decision.”

“Thanks, Dad.” James said, smirking. “But what if I want to be a lawyer?”

Marco rolled his eyes. “Don’t test me, I’ve got to put my foot down somewhere.”

Looking back down at the folder in front of him, he sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, you and I both know how the rest of this is gonna go. I’ll let you skip out a little early, and I’ll fill out the rest of this, but in return you’ve got to do the dishes when you get home. Deal?”

“Deal,” James said, nodding.

“And you better not get into any more fights!” Marco shouted as James began making his way out of the room. “You try and sucker punch that Greg kid one more time and I’m gonna tell your mother what you really thought about her last movie the next time you head over to her place.”

James rolled his eyes. “Way to be a buzzkill, dad. And besides, I could also tell her what you thought about her last movie.”

“We can’t get divorced again, kid.” Marco said, already beginning to fill out the rest of James’ evaluation form. “See you after school.”

Shrugging, James opened the door and left the room. For the next several minutes, Marco filled in the counseling form in silence, answering each of the increasingly inane questions with answers he’d already discussed with his son a dozen times before. No, he didn’t know where he wanted to go to college. Yes, he was aware of AP classes and scholarship opportunities. No, he hadn’t gotten a part-time job yet. Yes, he knew of additional career resources he could use for more information.

And on it went. Even Marco found it tedious, and this session had been far easier than most of the counseling sessions he’d given at Echo Creek Academy. But unfortunately, most of the questions were mandated at the district and state level, and he was forced to dutifully check off and fill in comments for each one. And after that was done, he was forced to double back and fill in the rest of the mandatory paperwork for the sessions he’d given today.

After what felt like far too long, Marco finally finished the forms and set them aside. Standing up from his seat, he stretched up and around as far as he could in his cramped office. With a quick glance at the clock, he saw that, for once, he was on schedule to leave right on time-an exceedingly rare event in his profession.

Collecting his things, Marco stepped out of his office and into the school hallway. It was funny, he thought, just how little the school had changed over the past three decades. Of course, the paint was new, as were the vast majority of the faces-aside, of course, from old Skullnick, who Marco personally believed would be teaching math until the day she died.  But very little else had changed.

Marco sighed wistfully as he walked through the halls, watching the few remaining kids walking to their various after-school clubs, practices, or meetings. When he’d graduated here… man, over twenty years ago, he’d never expected to come back, least of all as a guidance counselor. But, when he’d shifted majors in college from psychology to education, and when his old classmate had given him a call… well, it had just kind of happened.

Suddenly, Marco’s phone began vibrating. Wedging his briefcase under his arm, he awkwardly retrieved his phone from his pocket and raised it to his ear. “Marco Diaz here.”

“Marco! Man, it’s been a while. Just wanted to see if you were still in town.”

Marco practically dropped his briefcase. “Janna? What are you-it’s been years, why-I-I… I mean, yes?”

He could hear Janna laughing on the other end. “Smooth as ever, Diaz. Anyway, a friend and I were in the neighborhood, and I thought we might swing by. Just wanted to check and see if you were gonna be around tonight.”

“Uh, yeah, I don’t think we’ve got any plans.” Marco replied. “Just let me know when you’ll be over, and-“

“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll know when we’re there. Seeya later, Marco.”

“Wait, hold on, who-“

It was too late-the line was dead. Rolling his eyes, Marco shoved his phone back into his pocket. Of course, Janna of all people would choose to randomly insert herself back into Marco’s life. He probably hadn’t seen her in at least five years, and had only heard snippets since then.

Still, Marco thought, it could be worse. At least she’d bothered to call-and hey, it might be awkward at first, but it was always good to reconnect with old friends.

He just hoped this would be the only surprise sprung on him this evening.

----------

“Brittney joined the Army? Are you serious?”

Janna nodded sagely. “Day after we graduated. Said she was sick and tired of trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. She’s actually still in, heard she’s, like, some super-sergeant now.”

Star laughed, leaning back in her seat in Janna’s car. “Oh, man. I guess you can’t judge every book by their cover, huh?”

Janna chuckled. “You really can’t. And Sabrina? She spent a couple years as an EMT. She said she spent so many years in the ER she said she could tie a tourniquet in her sleep.”

Star could only laugh harder, wiping away a tear from her eye. It felt good to laugh, and to reminisce-she’d had preciously few opportunities to do so even before Connie had disappeared. Slowly, her laugh died away, and she sat back and stared upwards at the roof of the small hatchback.

She shook her head. “Janna, what am I even doing?”

Janna shrugged and leaned back in her seat as well. “I dunno, Star, you tell me.”

“I’m about to talk to someone I haven’t seen in fifteen years.  Someone who used to be my best friend in the universe, who I cut out of my life completely. Someone who…” Star grimaced at the painful memory. “Well, let’s just say there’s a lot of regrets.”

“You don’t have to go in there, you know.” Janna said. “We could just drive away, and I could help you find Connie.”

Star sighed. “Janna, I know you would. But I can’t ask you to do that. I can’t just let you leave Shelly for who knows how long while we’re… traipsing or whatever through a dozen dimensions.

“Besides,” she smirked. “Do you know anyone else who could spend sixteen years tracking down a pair of dimensional scissors?”

Janna shrugged. “Well, I guess that’s it, then,” she said. “You ready?”

“No.” Star replied, and breathed in deeply. “Let’s do this.”

Together, the two exited Janna’s hatchback, and began walking across the street. Marco’s house was a small, suburban affair, a single-level ranch wedged inside a narrow lot. The small yard was, if not exactly perfectly maintained, was at least regularly cut, and the open garage was filled with dirty equipment surrounding a beautifully maintained and restored motorcycle.

Star rolled her eyes when she read the “NCHS667” license plate. She didn’t know what exactly to expect, but at least some things hadn’t changed.

Taking a deep breath, she walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. For a moment, she almost hoped that nobody would respond-but within a few seconds, she heard footsteps approaching the door, and it swung open, revealing a young teenager.

“Yo, you my dad’s friends, or whatever?” the teenager asked, looking Star and Janna over. He looked, Star thought, disturbingly similar to his father, though with lighter skin and dirty blond hair. “He’s not home yet, but you guys can come in if you want.”

“That would be great, thanks.” Star said, and stepped through the doorway. As she and Janna entered, she took a look around the house, taking in the relatively tasteful décor. She hadn’t exactly known what to expect, but it certainly suited the Marco she’d once known-tidy, tasteful, and filled with various keepsakes and mementos. Hanging on the wall, for instance, was a portrait of Marco and James visiting some human ruin. And across the hall was a football jersey signed by a name she didn’t recognize-though she did note the addendum, “Thanks for saving me back in ’14!”

She smiled sadly as she silently walked through the living room, allowing Janna to do all the talking as Star absorbed the fragments of the time she’d missed on earth. What caused her to stop in her tracks, however, and shot a cold dagger through her heart, were two framed pictures Marco had set up on the mantle-one of him, Jackie, and James together, which had to have been taken at least ten years ago, judging by how young James looked. The other, placed right next to it, was of Marco and Star, back when they were still fourteen.

With a heart filled with guilt and regret, Star turned back to James and Janna, who were having a clearly animated conversation. “That can’t possibly be true, my dad’s lame, but he can’t have been that lame.”

“It’s true.” Janna said sagely. “Frankly, I’m amazed he stopped wearing fanny packs all the time, they suit him.”

Noticing Star walking up to them, she gave a brief wave. “Oh hey Star, you should talk to James. He’s pretty cool, if you can forgive him for having such a lame dad.”

“Star?” James raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you that foreign exchange student my mom and dad used to hang out with?”

Star shrugged. “The one and only.”

“Oh, neat.” James said. “My dad used to talk about you all the time.”

“He did, did he?” Star said curiously. “And what did your father say about me?”

James laughed. “Oh, all kinds of crazy stories about going on adventures, fighting monsters, traveling to other dimensions. Man, you guys must have really been into that D&D stuff back in the day.”

Star was confused. “D and D? What?”

Janna laughed, and James gave Star a curious look. “You know, RPGs. Rolling dice, making characters? I mean, not that I would know about any of that nerd stuff,” he said quickly and defensively, “But I mean, I thought that’s what my dad meant.” He shrugged. “I dunno, I wasn’t paying attention that much, I guess.”

“James Diaz, you’re about as smooth as your dad.” Janna said. “But yeah, I guess you could say back in the day it was kinda like D&D.” She flashed a mischevious grin. “Except it was real.”

“Uh, okay.” James said nervously. “Are you sure-“

Suddenly, the door opened behind them. Turning around, Star found herself staring into a face she hadn’t seen in fifteen years.

Her first thought was that Marco hadn’t changed nearly as much as she’d thought he would have. He still had the same dark hair and tan complexion, that same cute little mole, and the same layer of rough stubble he’d had since high school.

As he entered the house, Marco spotted Janna first, and walked up to give her a hug. “Janna! Man, I can’t tell you how long it’s been, it’s so good to see you!” As the two embraced, he smiled, and as they pulled back he rested his hand on her shoulder. “I even heard you have a kid now!”

Janna shrugged. “Well, it was that or get a cat, and, you know, Sam and I talked about it, but it turns out the apartment doesn’t allow cats.”

Marco laughed, and turned to his other guest. “So…”

For a second, Star could tell he didn’t recognize her. It was understandable-after all, he hadn’t been expecting to see her, her hearts had faded, and she’d gathered more than her fair share of wrinkles over the past decade and a half. But it was only for a moment-and once that moment passed, his eyes flared with recognition, and his jaw dropped.

“Hello, Marco.” Star said.

Marco took a step backwards, his eyes wide. “You… you’re…”

“Yeah, it’s Star, Marco, congratulations.” Janna said sarcastically.

Marco closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, he began smiling.

“Nope!” he said loudly, twisting on his heel and walking as quickly as he could in the opposite direction. “Not dealing with this tonight!”

“Marco, come on you-uurgh” Janna groaned as Marco walked straight out the door. James shrugged apologetically as Star marched out after him.

“Marco, get back here!” Star shouted. Rounding the corner, she saw Marco in the garage, already beginning to mount his motorcycle. “You’re not seriously going to…“

Ignoring her, Marco started the motorcycle, and the garage was filled with the sudden roar of ignition. However, though he clutched the handlebars tightly, the motorcycle remained motionless.

For a minute, the two remained silent, unable to look each other in the eye. For years, Star had been wondering what she would say to Marco when she saw him again. How she could possibly explain why she had done what she’d done? How she could ask the man who had once been her best friend, the man whom she had once loved, to forgive her? The answers hadn’t come easily then, and they didn’t come now.

For once, Star Butterfly was at a loss for words.

Sighing, Marco reached over and turned off the ignition. The putter of the engine quickly died out, leaving the two in relative silence.

“You know, I feel like I should be angry.” Marco said, adamantly staring straight ahead. “I was angry, for a while.’

“I don’t blame you.” Star said quietly. “I would have been angry too.”

“I just kept thinking, what did I do?” Marco said, ignoring Star’s response. “I mean, sure, I have a lot of regrets. I wish I’d done more to keep in touch with you when I went to college. I wish we hadn’t drifted apart.” He sighed. “But I don’t regret seeing Jackie again. I don’t regret getting engaged to her, even if things didn’t work out. And I sure as hell don’t regret having a son.”

For a moment, he paused. “I just wanted to know what I’d done to have you cut me out of your life.” he trailed off, and silence resumed.

“It wasn’t you, Marco.” Star said gently. “Well, it was, but not in the way you must have thought.”

For the first time, Marco turned to look at Star, and she could see every minute of fifteen years of pain and regret drawn on his face. “But what was it?” Marco said. “Why did you leave, and cut me out of your life?”

He looked ahead again, and slammed his fist against the handlebars. “It was that goddamn graduation party, wasn’t it.” He said. “I knew that whole thing was a bad idea.”

Star laughed softly. “Trust me, Marco, it took two to make that mistake.” Spying a stepstool, she sat and looked down at the floor. “Though all that Mewman Bourbon sure didn’t help.”

“So why did you leave?” Marco said, turning to look at the woman who had once turned his life completely upside-down. “I mean, I loved Jackie-I sure as hell didn’t turn her down when she proposed a couple months later, but Star…” he shook his head. “I would have gone anywhere with you. Even then.”

Star was unable to meet his gaze. “That morning, when I woke up… I hadn’t told you my mom had gotten sick. And when I checked my mirror, I got word she’d gotten worse. A lot worse.” She said quietly. “There wasn’t time. I needed to get back to the castle as soon as I could. I thought there’d be plenty of time to say goodbye later.” She shook her said sadly. “It turned out there wasn’t enough time to say goodbye to her, either.

“The next few months were… rough.” Star continued. “My dad had to go back to his own family, and I had the entire Kingdom to run. It was funny,” she said, chuckling sadly. “My whole life was supposed to be preparation to be queen, and when it happened… I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t anywhere near ready. Even now, I don’t know how Mom did it, keeping the Kingdom together. I sure as heck can’t.”

“Star, I… I’m sorry.” Marco said. “Your mom was a good person.

“But…” he said slowly, “Even after all that… why didn’t you come back? Why did you cut me off entirely?”

“Because you were my best friend, Marco.” Star said. “And Jackie was my friend too. And…” she breathed in deeply. “And when I heard you’d gotten engaged… I didn’t want to hurt you. Either of you.”

“Star, what do you…”

She breathed in deeply. This was the moment she’d been avoiding for fourteen years. “That night, Marco, at your graduation party, when we… I…”

She turned to Marco, and drew up her final reserve of resolve. “You have a daughter, Marco. We have a daughter.”

There was a massive crash in the garage as Marco toppled off the motorcycle, landing in a heap in a pile of spare parts. The motorcycle itself fell slowly in the opposite direction, creating even greater chaos as tools, buckets, and a singular ladder all clattered to the ground in a spectacular chain reaction.

“My what” Marco said, desperately scrambling to his feet. “I have a what?!”

Star nodded gingerly, biting her lip. Marco began hyperventilating, and leaned against a shelf alongside the side of the garage for support. Clutching his head, he began laughing hysterically.

“Well Star,” he said, “I wasn’t sure what to expect when I saw you again, but it sure as hell wasn’t that.”

He shook his head. “I have a daughter. I’ve had a daughter for fifteen-“

“Fourteen” Star instinctively corrected.

“Fourteen years, and I didn’t know it.” Marco said, clutching his head. “I just… I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” The laughter had gone from his voice now, replaced solely with pain and anguish.

“How could I tell you, Marco?” Star said. “You and Jackie were getting married! I was Queen! What was I supposed to do, just show up on your doorstep and go ‘Hey Jackie, how was the honeymoon, oh by the way, I had a kid with your husband, and she’s the future heir of Mewni?’”

Marco leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. “Yeah, that would be… pretty bad.” He said, and laughed sadly. “Not that it would’ve really mattered, though. Even with James, Jackie and I only lasted a few years.”

“I’m sorry.” Star said, looking back down at the floor.

Marco shrugged. “It wasn’t your fault. And I mean, we’re still friends. It just didn’t work out. It happens.” He looked down at the floor as well. “I just… I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

Star closed her eyes, trying her best to remain resolute. “I’m so sorry, Marco.”

For a few minutes, the pair remained silent and motionless, staring at the floor. A few times, Star opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it-try as she might, she just couldn’t find the words.

“So…” Marco said, finally breaking the silence, “Where is she?”

“That’s why I came, Marco.” Star said, looking up from the floor. “Connie-your daughter-she was kidnapped. I think. I tried my best, but…” She buried her hand in her face, doing her best to hold back the tears. “Oh hell, I screwed up, I screwed everything up…”

Marco began to stand up and reach out, but paused, and sat back down. He breathed in deeply, and looked up at the ceiling.

“Connie.” He said, rolling the name across his tongue. “My daughter’s name is Connie.”

“Constellation is her full name.” Star said, looking up. “She looks a lot like you, you know.” She smiled. “Just as smart, too.”

The silence resumed again, with Marco staring at the ceiling and Star staring at Marco. She wasn’t expecting forgiveness. To be frank, she wasn’t expecting anything. All she could do was hope.

Finally, Marco groaned, stood up, and looked down at Star. “Star…” he said, “I… I just… I don’t know what to think. About us, about… anything.” He sighed. “But if I’ve got a daughter, and she’s out there…”

He looked down at Star, and held out his hand. “What do you need me to do?”

[tweenerdadventures]

Hamilton - A Summary

Right so. Basically Alexander Hamilton was born in the Caribbean poor as shit. His father left when he was 10 and his mother died 2 years later after they were both ill. He moved in with his cousin and started reading, writing, and working, moving up very fast in the ranks of the trade firm. Then his cousin committed suicide and a hurricane destroyed the town, but the town put together a fund to send him to America to study and make something of himself. He gets there and gets into Kings College, but wants to graduate in 2 years instead of 4 so he can go fight in the revolution, but the college is like nah fam and he's like "FIGHT ME IRL" and then punches the bursar. Needless to say they kick him tf out and he rolls into town to see Aaron Burr (who had graduated in 2 years cause his parents died and left money to the college - rich kids amirite). Burr tells him to talk less smile more, and is like generally "Hamilton sit down". Hamilton ignores this then meets some other revolutionary peeps (Laurens, Lafayette, and HERCULES MULLIGAN - You'll understand later why his name must always be capitalised). He gets them all riled up and drunk as shit and is like we should go fight someone. So they roll up to a guy called Samuel Seybury who doesn't support the revolution and they're like HOW DARE and try to fight him. While this is going on the Schuyler Sisters (Angelica, Eliza......... and Peggy) are rolling through NYC trying to pick up dudes, and Burr tries to hit on them but they tell him to fuck off and start talking about how women should be equal to men (amen sisters) Then King George III rocks up and is like why are you doing this America I thought we were BFFs how could YOU. And then he's like that's it definitely sending my army in now. So ding dong it's all aboard the revolution express and George Washington is emo because he needs someone to help him out and his soldiers are demotivated. In rolls Burr like ayo I was a captain before and my previous commander got shot so... HIRE ME. It gets awks. Real fast. But Hamilton shows up and Washington is like THANK FUCK Burr you can go. Hamilton then agrees to be Washington's right hand man. Back to the sisterhood of purity and now it's time for a LOVE TRIANGLE 0.o - So Angelica sorta fancies Hamilton but also Eliza loves Hamilton and they're like omg what shall we do. But Angelica is like aha I'm probably too good for him he can have my sister instead. Then she has the regrets and is like to her sis please share him ;-) And Eliza is like A HAHAHA GOOD JOKE but pls don't steal him. So Eliza and Alexander get married and Burr rocks up to say congrats but then Alex and the crew wail on him for zero reason other than fuck Burr I guess. Also turns out Burr is having an affair with the wife of a British officer and Alex is like oh damn son but srs why are you scared go get her why do you wait. And Burr is like LEMME TELL YOU A STORY about waiting. Burr explains his parents and grandad were great people who did amazing things but then they died and left him with only their legacy to protect and that is why he is so cautious. He has one of the most heartbreaking lines in the show "If there's a reason I'm still alive when everyone who loves me has died, then I'm willing to wait for it". He also expresses sorta admiration/disbelief that Alexander keeps taking and taking and not waiting, and yet he keeps winning. Ding dong it's back to revolution and Hamilton wants a promotion. He's like PLS George Washington give me my own command. And Washington is like nah fam imma appoint this other dude Charles Lee instead. This goes badly when Lee nearly gets everyone killed, and Hamilton is like SOMEONE SHOULD FIGHT HIM. Laurens fights him and wins but then Washington is piiiiiiiiissed and sends Hamilton home where it turns out NEWSFLASH Eliza is pregnant and just wants Alexander to stay home as that would be enough for her. But Hamilton is like nah fam war isn't done - ANGST. Back to revolution and Lafayette is rapping REALLY FUCKING FAST cause he's suddenly learned all of English when he wasn't very good at it before. He explains how he brought reinforcements and shit from France but is like Washington you really need Hamilton back and Washington is like omg you're right Hamilton pls come back I'll give you soldiers to command BUT first listen to my song about the first time I was in command and oopsed and got my men killed so yeah DON'T DO THAT also bear in mind history has its eyes on you they may even make a musical someday ayo ;) So Hamilton comes back and they end up winning and King George gets SUPER UPSET because parliament won't pay for his war anymore but he's like good luck lmao now see what I've had to deal with being in charge. So revolution is over and America is born, meanwhile Burr and Hamilton both have kids at the same time and turns out they're pretty similar in that they wanna build a good world for their kids to live in. Hamilton moves back to New York finishes his studies and becomes a lawyer, where he ends up working with Burr on the first murder trial in America. He shows off as usual and Burr gets pissed, but is also like how do you keep doing all this stuff oh my God you're non stop. INTERMISSION So yeah now we've skipped forward a bit and Washington is President, Hamilton becomes Treasury Secretary. But UH OH Thomas Jefferson is back from France where he has been getting hella high and sleeping with loads of women, and he's here to fuck Hamilton's shit up. They have a straight up rap battle in a cabinet meeting and Hamilton wins but realises he's outnumbered anyway and need to change tactics if he wants his financial plans implemented. Meanwhile Eliza really wants him to take a fucking break and listen to his son play piano and rap, and also go with her and Angelica on holiday. Hamilton is like nah fam I have to work soz and they go away anyway. But then Hamilton fucks up. Literally. He sleeps with a woman called Maria Reynolds who rolls into his office asking for dolla. But UH OH turns out her husband knows and blackmails Hamilton to keep it quiet, and he agrees because he's an atrocious human being. Back to politics for a sec and Hamilton makes a deal with Jefferson to move the capital to Washington DC from NYC if his financial plans go through. But Burr gets super angry because nobody invited him to government camp, and then Hamilton is like I got what I wanted but WHAT DO YOU WANT. *side eyes emoji* And Burr is like I wanna be in the room where it happens. So finally in the second act we know what Burr actually wants. And apparently his first step is to get elected a Senator. So ofc he's like lol I'll just kick Eliza's dad out of the Senate how could this go wrong ^^ Surprise surprise it goes poorly and Hamilton is piiiiisssssed. And Burr's dropping mega shady vibes like Hamilton your pride will be the death of us all ;) ;) Beware it cometh before the fall ;) ;) ;) So there's another cabinet meeting now and France is fighting Britain and wants America's help. Hamilton is like NUUUUPE we can't do that it's a mess lol sorry France. Jefferson meanwhile is like WHAT THIS IS OUTRAGEOUSSSSSSS. He forms an alliance with Burr and they call themselves SOUTHERN MOTHER FUCKING DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS. He then resigns from the cabinet and is like imma run for President. Washington by this point is too old for this shit and is like I don't wanna be President anymore. And Alexander is like A hahaha ha good joke. And Washington is like no fam I'm serious. And Hamilton is like 😭😭😭 so they write a farewell address to the nation and everyone is sad but then Washington rides off to go enjoy his retirement. So Jefferson loses the election to Washington's Vice President, John Adams. But Jefferson is the new VP. Adams fires Hamilton and is super racist towards him but then Alexander is like HOW DARE and destroys him in the paper. Jefferson and Burr have at this point noticed some weird payments coming out of Hamilton's accounts to James Reynolds and think he's been doing some dodgy financial corruption shit. So they roll up like hey we got the cheque stubs boy explain this. And Hamilton is like oh shit so he confesses his affair but is like please keep it secret omg. And they're like k I guess. Hamilton then remembers how he wrote his way out of the Caribbean and so OF COURSE he can write his way out of this situation as well. So he decides to write and publish the Reynolds pamphlet where he is like "yall think I'm guilty of financial crimes but JOKES ON YOU I actually had an affair ayo" and everyone's like wait what. And Eliza is like wait WHAT. And Angelica is like MOTHERFUCKER WHAT. So Hamilton definitely fucked up his whole political career never to be fixed woops. Angelica shows up and Hamilton is like thank gawd someone who understands me and Angelica is like BITCH I'M NOT HERE FOR YOU I'm here for my sister so go away. Eliza is v angry and basically burns all Hamilton's letters to her and is like I hope that YOU burn (also a fucking chilling emotional line). Ding dong. It's time for a time shift and now Hamilton's son Philip is 19 and just graduated from King's College. But UH OH someone talked shit about his father and he's like IMMA FIGHT THEM and Hamilton is like fine but pls don't actually shoot them and Philip is like fine when we duel I won't shoot dad omg. So they duel and Philip aims for the sky intending not to shoot but they other guys pulls a dick move and shoots before they count to 10. So Philip is deceased and Eliza and Hamilton r upset. So Hamilton is pretty :’( and now wanders the streets by himself, finds jesus (not in the streets, in like his heart), and eventually him and Eliza make everything right. But hold up its politics time again and now it's an election year. Jefferson is running for President again and John Adams is gonna lose but uh oh Burr also runs for President. It's a tie and the whole party goes to Hamilton like Bro who you want to be Pres? And Hamilton is like leave me alone. And then they say it again LOUDER and Hamilton meets Burr whilst out campaigning and is like "is there anything you wouldn't do to win" and Burr is like "no and I learned that from you". So Hamilton finally agrees to endorse someone and SHOCKER endorses Jefferson. His reasoning is I'm enemies with Jefferson but at least he has principles cos Burr has none. And Jefferson is like wait what. And Burr is like MOTHERFUCKER WHAT. So Burr writes some angry letters to Hamilton basically blaming him for everything that's gone wrong in his life. Hamilton responds with an itemised FUCKING LIST of the disagreements they've had. Burr is like take it back. Hamilton says no. Burr is like fight me then. Hamilton is like k fam let's go. So they're gonna duel but before that Hamilton writes a letter to Eliza explaining all this shit. He then rocks up to the dueling ground across the river and Burr is like Wait is he actually gonna shoot me omg THIS MAN WILL NOT MAKE AN ORPHAN OF MY DAUGHTER (also a tearjerker moment) so they count to 10 and shots are fired. Hamilton is hit and does a death soliloquy like oh shit what is my legacy. He sees the light and all the dead people he loves and is like imma go there too. Back to realtime and Burr is like he's aiming his pistol to the sky? ? WAAAAIIIIIT. But it's too late he's shot Hamilton in the ribs and he's rushed away and gets a drink. He's told he'd better hide cause Alexander died. He now laments that history obliterates and paints him in all his mistakes, and that he's now the villain in our history. Basically he has the mega regrets. Then everyone gets together and sings about Alexander's life and Eliza explains how she's telling his story to everyone, and how she lives another 50 years (time that he always wanted). She raises funds to build the Washington Monument, speaks out against slavery, and is basically the real MVP for the rest of her life. But her proudest achievement is establishing the first private orphanage in NYC and helping loads of kids grow up and she's like "in their eyes I see you Alexander I see you every time". She now wonders if she has done enough and if people will tell her story, and that she can't wait to see him again Musical over.