#( This was... a lot darker than I intended XD )

[shadowdemon101]

I've shared these on my Instagram, but I also wanna share them here b/c I'm pretty proud of my plushies and I spent a lot of time on them at the end of last year! More pictures of the details n words below the cut!!!

Okay last one promise! This was for a friend, but also a good test of Cholyknight's chibi doll patterns for myself! (That one costs money but it's well worth it!!!) The embroidery for the face came out really good!!! I think the ears were initially bigger than I intended and I was at a point where I couldn't undo them, but it worked out really well in the end! A lot of the base clothes and hair all came with the patterns, but I adjusted the mohawk to fit his face better, using a darker grey to show it was shaved, and I tried to detail his shoes a little more to look like sneakers. The horns I took an existing horn pattern and adjusted it to be Mallek's, though the piercings I struggled for a time before settling on stitched pieces of fabric. The piercings above the eye on the brow are hand down embroidery, which works well enough!

I'm actually super proud of the hoodie; the symbol is embroidered!!!! I made it into an embroidery design and did that myself!!!! With like, a free to use program but STILL!!! And then the hood can go on his head bc there's holes for horns!!! Actually incredibly tricky for a first attempt of that hood, but I got it!!! Also all the clothes? Easy to slip on and off! Though maybe I should've sewn the shoes in bc they fall a little too easy… but my friend really likes it so that's what counts ❤

Also it's also completely made of fleece! Minus the lining in the hood of course; since it's fleece though, there's no shirt under the hoodie bc it wouldn't fit right, but I sewed in a little bit of blue to give the illusion of a shirt xD

[officialauthorofanotherworld]

aghhhh ok fine

I did do a music post in the past, but i'll indulge you, @jev-urisk XD

(quickly tho, cuz i'm writing rn)

one song each and a explanation of why :D (i was gonna do three each but then this post would be crazy long)

also, spoilers for Party of Three becase i can't explain these things entirely without spoilers (i tried my best to avoid massive ones)

As such:

Vague-ish spoilers for Taka's future

Minor spoilers for Beriyl's past

Relatively massive spoilers for Arthur and Eirairr's backstories

Taka:

Refrain Boy - ALL OFF

(I am very very passionate about music so this will probably be a long post despite me saying otherwise lmao)

Reasoning: This song to me, embodies a lot of things. The "going ahead with life even though it's hard," that really awesome feeling a lot of shonen have about "pushing through stuff with your friends no matter what," that "great things are gonna happen for you in the future" vibe, its really hard for me to put this emotion into words, but just the "You can look forward to fun stuff in the future, and as long as you have your bonds and yourself, you'll be okay, even if it's sad and hard" and i really, honestly think that embodies Taka very much. He is very much a person who cares VERY much about his friends, he's a very adventurous person, I'm very honored to get to write about him because his journey is to me, one that is very special and very beautiful. We literally watch this scared little kid grow up into someone capable of saving the world, and I think that is just beautiful. We watch him come into his own sort of groove, find out who he is and who he really cares about, what he stands for. It's just really beautiful and very personal to me. I've always loved this song, but in a sense I think it encapsulates the "journey" of Tamalnh, and my own personal journey over the last few years. Except I have far less friends than Taka, and I am nowhere near as happy as he is.

Beriyl:

Aaagh, honestly Beriyl is a tie up between Fightsong - Eve and Yumemigusa by BLUE ENCOUNT

Beriyl's story and him as a person I feel like both of these songs fit him pretty well. His is a story much darker than Taka's, because he's practically a survivor of childhood neglect. For fear of spoiling too much, I really don't know how to explain this without doing so, but Beriyl's story of overcoming self-worth issues, figuring out who he really is and what truly matters to him, and standing up for those things, is one that I think is really beautiful.

Beriyl is an immensely strong person, even if maybe that isn't readily apparent for the first, oh... two hundred pages of the book.

Arthur:

ROAR by ulma sound junction

This lyric in particular; "Where destiny gets robbed and torn in half,"

He lost everything at a very young age, struggled with severe, suicidal depression for many, many years. And he nearly did do it. In a way, he lost his future, then clawed it back into reality with his own two hands, fully intending to die all the while. He may never be able to fulfill that lost childhood dream of adventuring with Rend, he may have lost his family and village, but he found Taka and Beriyl. And they saved him, from himself, in a way.

Ecirr and Qlul:

PRIDE OF A NAMELESS HUNTER - Tadayoshi Makino

Ecirr to me, embodies the "grace" and "refinement" that Qlul doesn't really have. Qlul is the warmth and energy, the relaxed and "silly" side of the coin here, whereas Ecirr is the calm, cool, "serious" side.

Now, for some reason, I don't have a playlist for Qlul. But I do have a theme I feel fits both of them very much so.

L no Theme B - Hideki Taniuchi

Here's one more that resembles them :')

ok fine one more (feels fitting for book 2's tone)

AGHH ALSO BOOK 2 THEMING

Ecirr is really smart, and Qlul's not stupid. This song (L's Theme) to me feels like when they combine their only visible braincells and actually pull off something cool.

Eirairr:

Man, Eirairr is hard to summarize in a single song. He's such a chaotic person.

The enigma of an elf, the Eirairr-ness of... Eirairr.

Here's a few: Kannon by Kita Kouhei

Blue Moon by LiSA

Tyottohitoiki

At his core, he's a good person. He cares about his friends and has an unfathomably great love for life itself. He's also a very tragic figure, as being born as a Pactborn-Elf means that, no matter how long he lived inside that Realm as an immortal being, once outside he's only got a hundred years. Can you imagine how short a hundred years would feel to someone who's lived that long?

Eirairr himself says something to this extent; and yes, this IS a pretty big spoiler, but its necessary to really get my point across.

Some context: A very long time ago, there was a period where Fae were very active, and several curses were placed on various people/parts of the world back then. One of these was locking several "clans" of elves into permanent deification as "guardians" of elements of the world, hence "Pactborn" elves. So you have "pacted" elves of the mountains, seas, forests, etc. They basically exist in a plane that is one "layer" above the physical dimension, which intersects with the Fae realm. They can't leave their "assigned areas", and if they do, they are cursed to die in a hundred years.

(the relative timespan of a human, basically.)

Eirairr was born into that, lived for a very long time, and then decided to leave. When he left, as part of the Curse, he was given knowledge of the modern world, clothes and a weapon, and basically told; "Good luck."

alright that's all from me :D did lots of tumblr today, lots of writing, very productive day today :DDDD and i have work tomorrow aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not excited

ok bye

[countthelions]

✨💫🕯️🍭?

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

hMM that's hard, but perhaps,,, Til Magnolias Bloom? It's a fic written about another fic so that already stacked the cards against it, but I thought the imagery was fun! I do think it'd be nice to rewrite some day now that I'm a bit of a better writer, really lean into the fear Fuku feels and the helplessness from both of the adults, then savor fully the relief of the trio waking up better rested than they'd been in a month. It's a fic that means a lot to me in its own way, for my heart is snagged on Tell God and the Devil for reasons I literally cannot name (I know why HR has my heart, but TGaTD?? literally no clue my dudes. I just adore it) and the gift giver I am, I had to write something for that tasty source material

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

Big analysis ones ;; if you've ever come across a comment I've left, it's easy to see how that style of commenting is something that I really cherish!! it means a lot to me to know that my readers are examining the text, getting excited about certain phrases or lines they enjoyed, or how the characters are, in a similar way that I've done too!! I know it's a bit of a time consuming comment to leave though so I don't expect it XDD

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

Hard to write: Handspun Nerves. For as much fun as I have with darker tragedies, the catharsis of writing such a story is MUCH!! DIFFERENT !! I really really struggled with hurting Grillby and having his trauma - and then Gaster's later - explode in such a public place. I remember both groups of friends going "you can hurt him more!!" several times until I finally worked myself up enough to do so XD I know now that I could go even further with it, but that first step startled me quite a lot!!

Place I didn't expect: Pride. I fully intended to write a piece where Grillby got to be cool and strong and buff and impress Gaster and then was side swiped by something a bit more,, important I'll say. I didn't really want to put queerphobia into an AU of mine, but it's honestly been very important to me to have in there, and has opened the door up to explore a lot more grimy and personally uncomfortable topics in a place that feels very safe and supportive to me.

BNB AU now sideswipes me often btw bc I gave it that permission XDD There's an unfinished fic that, when I realized where it was heading, started legit crying from surprise. Not in a bad way, just a "ah, you're holding so much of me" discovery that I'm slowly leaning into enjoying the catharsis of writing.

🍭why did you start writing?

This recent(ish) stint of writing started because of the Umbrella Academy actually!! I was curious on what sort of conversations the characters might've had in the in-between moments, and set myself to writing some of those scenes out. It quickly lined up with my RP world, and how much fun it was to write there then just !! continued to spiral through the fandoms (mp100, bnha, now undertale!) and I'm having a blast still!!

[cidthesquid]

Character Creator Chat: The Sims 4! (Pt2)

[Previous Post]              [First Post]              [Next Post] This is a continuation of Character Creator Chat: The Sims 4!

Lipstick selection is a little better, a good selection of finishes/styles. But no patterns or designs. What I picked looks a little more intense than a standard semigloss, maybe it's intended to be a bit metallic? (kinda hard to tell with this art style)

But overall I thought it looked pretty nice, without being to attention grabbing.

There's facepaint too:

10 choices ,as well along with some options for colors/gradients, a bit of an odd selection, I would have expected more patterns, but I think it's mainly just added for fun. so I don't really think it's a knock against the character creator. Now that we've finished with the face we can move on to body option

On the left we have two sliders, one for tone/muscles, and the other for shaping/roundness. Or on the right we have 9 body type presets, we could choose instead. And just like with the face, any fine-tuning needs to be done manually with the mouse, the adjustable spots are not labeled either, You just have to zoom-in and rotate your character to find what you want to adjust, then you'll position/size or scale it manually.

Next up are tattoos:

You have a few sections to work with, each can be tattooed independently. Chest, Both arms, both legs, and upper and lower back, all can have separate designs, some with color options. Arm hair also a choice, but it's pretty much just on/off:

But you can have the color contrast or match your hair.

There's also a choice for back hair and leg hair as well, but the options are the same. Next up is skin details,

it's much like the face options, you select your preferred pattern, and they'll have color options as well. Medical wearables is also an unexpected choice:

With slots for both arm (individual) and torso, you can add one of each type of what I believe to be medical ports to your custom character, hearing aids were one thing, but wow, It's nice to see this get it's own section! Now it's time to pick out our outfit! The first section is 'styled looks':

They recommended Soca And Calypso, I'm not sure what goes into this choice, maybe it's seasonal or based on our character personality, but I think it actually looks really nice on her regardless! But we're going to pick our own outfit, starting with tops:

They have a wide range of tops here, from blouses and t-shirts, to jackets and vests, but there is no manual layering, so I guess we'll stick with this layered looking top. I think it fits our target style, it cas a cool edge to it, without being aggressive, the pink fluff on this color may be a bit brighter than I'd like, but I think the gold necklace is a great addition! There's also a great selection of full body attire including dresses, pre-made outfits, and even costumes:

(yes, you can dress as a hotdog if you really want! XD)

But since these overwrite any existing outfit choices, we'll be sticking to custom outfits. So on to bottoms:

There are a lot of sub-categories here as well, pants, skirts, leggings, jeans, etc. I was a bit sad to see some of my go-to options such as belted and pleated skirts weren't available, and a lot of the patterned options did not have darker color choices (just flat black) But again, this is a life sim, not a fashion game, and there are still tons of cool/cute options, [ I just wish I could better color match my hat :-( ] And now on to accessories:

The next few options cover bracelets, gloves and rings, Bracelets don't seem to show up at all (even with gloves off) possibly due to my longer sleeves, There are only two options for glove, they both have a similar appearance, but with the longer gloves having a slight shine to them. I do like that you can use both rings and gloves, even if it's impractical. Next up, tights, socks and nails:

They offer some sports style leggings, as well as basic colors, They have some really traditional looking socks, but at least in a few common styles. It's cool to see nail options here as well!

Most the common shapes are on offer, and we have a few basic patterns as well as toenail styling, all with their own color choices.

And now we're on to the final choice, footwear:

And again, a good selection of types, Sneakers, Sandals, flats, heals boots, slippers etc, Nothing too extravagant, like thigh high boots, everything is under knee height, but they still cater to a ton of different styles. But again, I feel a bit held back by the color selection, why can't I buy these in black?

Anyway, now were done! and I'm pretty happy with the result:

So thats the Sims Character Creator! And as much as I may have nitpicked during this post. (Trying to play a life sim like a fashion game, is not ideal) I really had a lot of fun! And I just looked it up, and what this game came out in 2014? It's 10 years old, and it's built on a legacy that even pre-dates that. This may explain some of the limitations, and design choices. But even so its character creator is mechanically an incredible feat, that I'm sure as improved over time, and will continue to grow as this game continues to be supported! I don't think navigating its menus are not terrible by any means, I'm sure it's something most people get used to with time. (Especially if you create a lot of sims) I'm sure it's second nature to some, especially if you've come from prior games. But I think it would be nice to have an 'optional' modern sim editor, that focus a bit less on manually clicking, moving and scaling things.

That being said, the pure variety this game offers is unparalleled! I've only experienced the vanilla, free2play experience, I'd imagine mods and DLC would expand my options even further! I can definitely see why people enjoy this series, if I was the creative type who could come up with new characters and backstories on a whim, I'd probably spend a ton of time just designing new sims!

And watching your creations live out their life and interact with other characters is probably a dream come true for others too! But anyways, that's it for me for today? That was by far the longest Character Creator Chat yet! Normally I only spend like 2-3 hours on these max, and this one was probably around double that! So hopefully someone found it enjoyable to read! XD Next Chat: Dragon Age: The VeilGuard

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Thanks for reading! I had a lot of fun making this, so I hope you had fun reading it as well!

As always, comments, questions, and suggestions are welcome! And

And If I describe something 'objectively wrong', or use the wrong terminology, feel free to correct me, I'm always looking to improve! (But If it's feedback on my designs that's more subjective/personal preference, please let me figure it out myself,so I find my own style😄

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

*seeing all this dark fantasy talk* hey remember when Atlus said P5 was gonna be the darkest Persona game? Boy is that funny in retrospect, especially with how often P5 shoots itself in the foot for the sake of generic comedy hahahahahahaha

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh skdfj;jflad *sobs* I dunno whether to laugh or cry or both flkjsakfdjsa XD

Kamo's arc did so much heavy leg work into making us think what they were saying was true too TT0TT it had us all fooled! Tbf Shiho's attempt, and the death of Oku/Principal were pretty dark.........

But it's nothing the series hasn't seen before. Oku/Principal (both are hard to distinguish from the train guy tbh too) resemble the poor "guy listening to radio" bastard in P3. And.....Shiho's not the first (attempted) suicide, P4D literally opens with a child walking in on a.....successful attempt. And (not to compare/measure tragedies, but this is fictional....so....I am gonna compare it in a story aspect obvie) I'd say P4D is a lot more gruesome about it than P5 was (tho to P5's credit, it has a good dreadful buildup going for it, while P4D just has a dark atmosphere and kind of resembles horror before the surprise jump scare. Different build ups that work with what they intended, but again nothing Persona hasn't done before). But "gruesome" is usually what people consider "more dark" so.....technically P4D was darker than P5 in that case.

Other than that, P5 is unable to commit to death or explore it's dark themes beyond the surface level. Choosing to instead just.....say obvious things that we can already see. "Kaneshiro only thinks of people as money!" yeah you've said that for the 8th time in the last five minutes....do you have anything else to comment on? TT0TT Maybe how he got to this point? Maybe he grew up financially insecure? And is that what led him into the Yakuza? Like let's look into the deeper meaning man..... *sobs*

The less they shoot Kamo's arc in the foot the better, the destroy their best arc and for what? Cheap comedy? TT0TT damn it orz

[thoughtfulfangirling]

@amozon28 replied:

When it was first put on disney plus it wasnt censored. So yeah pool of blood and broadways hands covered in blood. But like 6 months later it was censored and im PISSED. Like MODERN cartoons are allowed more blood. They shpuldve just put a content warning at the beginning for a cartoon from literally 30 years ago. Disneys full of cowards

Okay I found it:

This is the image they took out. Broadway has blood on his hands and I believe the EMT guys get blood on a cloth or something, so it did keep a lot of the blood. Just not this shot.

And it is interesting because yeah, a lot of modern kids shows have been allowed to do more with its violence in many ways, but I can't actually think of an example where there is blood. At least, not more than a red mark (slice/scrape/abrasion). (It could be just movies, but I think I'd argue kid's shows aren't necessarily getting darker, though maybe more nuanced with how it does it's dark stuff. I did grow up in the era of Land Before Time and All Dogs go to Heaven even if I don't remember them well XD)

I'm not like, a kid's show aficionado, but I've watched a fair share! (I like animation A LOT but a lot of adult animation is done in really weird styles. Even Lower Decks, which I like!, doesn't have as fun animation as a fair amount of kids animated shows.) Maybe I'm forgetting some or just haven't watched them, but between this shot and the blood on hand shots, it still seems like more than I'm used to from kids show even from more recently. I don't even think Legend of Korra really has blood in scenes any more than the above mentioned, and that was intended for teenagers/older kids.

Which isn't me giving Disney a pass. This did air originally like this and it was fine, and like I said before, kids can in fact handle this. At least that's my opinion. And if they can't, they can turn it off and have a conversation with their guardian, y'know?

I was wondering if this version of Gargoyles would show Elisa's blood. I do think something was cut here, as I feel like I distinctly remember a pool of blood around her on her kitchen floor at one point of watching. It was probably an establishing shot that this version took out. I guess that much blood is too scary? I can see why it's harder to remove it from this moment, and I am glad they did not remove this moment!

Because it's powerful seeing Broadway put Elisa on a cot and feeling her blood on his skin, which he caused. He literally has her "blood on his hands" for playing around with the gun, and he is understandably quite horrified by the realization of this. It's a good moment to get left with as we close out Broadway being in this scene.

[azurexalacrity]

“Hello Princess”

Send “Hello Princess” to swoop in and carry my muse 'Princess Style’ | @projectlightfox

 Water.

It’s the building block of life. The one component, composed of both hydrogen and oxygen, blended into a perfect mix that is responsible to all life on the planet. It comes in all shapes and variations, sometimes bringing survival to nearby inhabitants, or spelling doom for creating another world under the deep.

Rolling waves crawled up on the eroded shore, smothering seashells, turtles, and anything else with its salt. The same kind of salt a mother would tell their son not to tip over the table, or otherwise, he would have gotten bad luck.

Yet, the one person who has bad luck around here is the Blue Blur himself, surrounded by a flock of tropical birds pecking on his sides, seeing as if the creature would either stir or it would become the next meal for the seagulls’ lunch. The insistent poking to his sides caused his eyebrows to narrow, thus making him utter a raspy groan.

In turn, the birds shrieked, and have gone to retreat back to the settlement in their nests that resided on the local palm trees, leaving the poor guy to be alone and to hopefully, hopefully, wake up.

While his sneakers, now tucked behind a rock that was only fifteen inches from the shore, was only covered in grains of sand, his body was pummeled by the element. He knew it was. He felt it all with him being swished around, thrown around like a ragdoll, and spit out of the ocean, having him being dragged on the land. And yet, when he’s safe like he is now, it still felt like it’s still happening.

He all but snapped his grassy green eyes opened, and can’t help but screw one of them shut for a reason. He can’t tell. He can clearly see in that one, but it just hurt to open it. Why? He wasn’t so sure. Unbeknownst to him, a red line was drawn across that eye. Not enough to permanently damage it, but also not enough to be harmless. It was sure gonna need some ice to patch that up.

His sight searched left, then right, finding nothing but discarded seashells and coconuts. He’s surprised the islanders of Adabat never found him, but maybe that was the thing: He was so lost that he couldn’t be found. Or… maybe the ocean drifted him so far away. He… he really can’t tell.

He just couldn’t.

A torrent of coughs spurred out of him like it was out of reflex or instinct. Or both. He brought his bruised knees close to his chest, shivering when the tides slapped against him again and again, clumping his fur and feeling like he’s been dipped in the glacial water.

However, before he can properly lift himself up from this disaster, grab his shoes, and then dash back to the town before anyone notices, two figures appeared in his vision. One taller and one smaller, eyes both tainted with nothing more but concern.

The hero’s hand gripped tightly on his scarred arm, sinking his face into it and feeling ashamed. Ashamed for daring to combat his fear in such a dangerous matter. Ashamed for dealing with that Dark Gaia sea monster in the ocean and becoming a punching bag for the sea. It was all but a terrible, terrible idea, but he couldn’t say anything to a pair of arms lifting him up from the beach. He bonked his head against the older hybrid’s shoulder, finally feeling safe after all what transpired last night.

“I’m sorry…” was the last word Saber spoke before everything went black.

[dairogo]

For the wip ask thingy:)

I might be onto something and I also might be completely wrong with this one, ahah, but what can you tell about the "Elizabeth" wip? 👀

Ahahahaha, yes, what could an FMA fanfiction called ‘Elizabeth’ possibly be about? XD Well, this one may be a little sideways of what you think, but I doubt you’re far off.

The fic is about Hawkeye, Hughes and Mustang all meeting up after Ishval to discuss how to get him to the top of the military. They meet at Madame Christmas’ bar, she gives them a solemn talking-to to determine how trustworthy they are, how serious about this they are, etc., etc..

The intention is that there’s a lot of discussion of how they can look unthreatening while still speed-running the fuhrership, and so they’re balancing all the codes they can use or may need, and they’re developing the whole concept of Roy being a lazy playboy, and they’re figuring out how they can use it all as a cover for actually Getting Things Done.

As far as the ‘Elizabeth’ codename ... I definitely intended it to come up and for there to be thought on Riza’s side about flirting with Roy, and on Madame Christmas’ side about how she’s gotta keep an eye on this girl.

Here’s an excerpt!

Hughes gestured vaguely towards the other occupants of the room. “So, is this really the best place to meet, to talk?”

“With you two looking as nervous as all that?” Mustang said, a strange light coming into his eyes as the smirk reappeared. But he waved a hand, and toned it all down. “There’s no-one significant there at the moment – and they’re all occupied with the ladies. We’ll get our drinks and head on through to a private room after Madame’s given you a once-over.”

Glancing back at Christmas, Hawkeye noticed that the woman was indeed watching them. It could have been because she was bringing them their drinks, but the look she had was more observant than that. Maybe she had resting suspicious face.

Hawkeye took the pale ale with thanks, and the larger woman retreated back to get Mustang’s drink. As Hughes took a deep drink from his she took a testing mouthful, and she came to the conclusion that if Hughes’ disappointment at the label available wasn’t enough to put him off ordering it, she wouldn’t be trusting his taste again.

“What does a once-over consist of?” Hawkeye asked.

A shrug of Mustang’s shoulders didn’t put her at ease. “There’s certain help she could provide to our cause, if she thinks it’s worth her time.”

This help, which Mustang had alluded to before, was no more known to Hughes than it was to Hawkeye, evidently, because the other man gave a hesitant murmur into his glass before setting it down. “There are better ways to get us to meet your family, Roy.”

“No, really,” Mustang argued. “This could make a big difference. Thanks, Madame.”

A darker beer was set in front of Mustang, and Hawkeye tried not to feel compelled to take another drink of her own in response to the strength of Christmas’ presence.

“So, you’re trying to get my boy into politics, then?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Hughes responded.

Christmas’ stare moved on to Hawkeye, and she realised they were both meant to respond. “It’s a better future than the alternative,” she said.

“He could do well in a military career. Who says he has to be in charge for that to be worth anything?”

Hughes leant in. “Well, Ma’am, if he wants to set the tone of the country –”

“What’s so wrong with the tone that it needs changing?” The woman shrugged, unsettling the fur of her long coat. From some it may come across as a carefree sentiment, but there was definitely a sense of challenge behind it.

[amethystina]

A question, did you write Gravitational Pull and Who Holds the Devil thinking about the same Yo Han and Ga On in different point in time, or you even the characterization is slightly different? I feel like GP Yo Han actions (or at least Ga On POV of said actions) are different from the other Yo Han, more sinister if you will.

I did, yes. Not a different characterisation as a whole, I would say, but rather a different time and a different situation — which I deemed to be enough to change their behaviour quite a lot. So Yo Han's actions in Gravitational Pull are indeed very different from how he behaves in Who Holds the Devil (even the START of Who Holds the Devil, where he's still a bit volatile).

And it's partly because it's Ga On's POV (like you suggest) since he is a lot more suspicious of Yo Han at that specific point in time. That's to say: he'll read some of Yo Han's behaviour as being more suspicious than it might be intended as. In episode 13 (when Gravitational Pull takes place) Ga On still doesn't know exactly what Yo Han is aiming for and if he's good or bad, for example. He also doesn't know who set the fire at the church, meaning he doesn't know just how hard Yo Han has fought to protect Elijah all these years. He also doesn't know just how much Jung Sun Ah has manipulated them both, and that Professor Min is one of the bad guys. Basically, there is A LOT Ga On doesn't know/hasn't experienced which will change how he views Yo Han, Yo Han's humanity, and their relationship as a whole.

Like, Yo Han hasn't fake-died here yet — not even once! Let alone two times x'D

And, in a similar vein, Yo Han hasn't seen Ga On break down after Soo Hyun's death. He hasn't awkwardly tried to feed him because he's worried Ga On is sinking too deep into his grief. Ga On also hasn't offered to die with him in front of the entire nation. So, at the time of Gravitational Pull, Yo Han doesn't have a reason to hold back or be as gentle with Ga On as he is after the end of the drama. Instead, this is right after Ga On chose to leave Yo Han's house because of Soo Hyun. So I figured it would make sense for him to be a bit sharper and more sinister. He is, quite frankly, hurt — and it's not uncommon to lash out when you are.

I wouldn't say they're different characters or that I've changed all that much from my original interpretation of them, however. I've mostly tried to rewind a little and write them as I think they would behave at that point in time. Gravitational Pull is set during a different stage in their relationship, before a lot of the intense and emotional scenes/bonding happened.

That said, Gravitational Pull is also written with the intention to show a darker side of Yo Han and is much, much shorter, so it's expected that you'll see less variety in his behaviour. And that the majority of it will be quite sinister xD

TLDR: Yes, because I figured it made sense since the fics are set during different times in their story :)

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

still want that, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader, ex-yoongi x reader

summary: Fucking Min Yoongi ex-girlfriend? A terrible idea. Being hopelessly in love with her at the same time? An even worse idea. Knowing he was being used and still doing it anyway? Ah, Jeon Jungkook, what are you doing?

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, angst, a whole lot of pining; smut (fem reader, m and f-receiving oral, doggy, mentions of cowgirl, penetrative sex); a whole lot of feels; non-idol!AU; Jungkook’s POV; ex-boyfriend Yoongi is not very nice, oof

‘savage love’ is Jungkook/reader smut after she’s freshly broken up. pretty much just based on the song, lol the original one-shot is less than 3k words and this is a little over 6k XD

--

Two weeks later, Jeon Jungkook witnessed another woman crawling into Min Yoongi’s lap.

She was wearing a tight dress and high heels, with an awfully familiar face shape. Jungkook knew this because the same face shape had blown him two weeks earlier. This woman’s lips weren’t as nice though. Her eyes weren’t as pretty and she didn’t laugh the way Jungkook liked. He watched her speaking to Yoongi, his bored expression indicating he had no interest, but he was letting it happen because it was attention and Yoongi wanted attention. That’s why he finally emerged from the cave that was his apartment anyway.

Jungkook couldn’t believe Yoongi wasn’t even trying to win her back.

In fact, it made him furious.

He looked away, turning back to Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin’s bickering over… nothing really. They sort of bickered like an old married couple and then the conversation eventually turned into one of them agreeing with the other and they made up. Usually because they would say the same thing at the same time and then be amazed, even though it happened all the time.

Sometimes, Jungkook felt like a third wheel in this soulmate energy.

Most of the time, Jungkook would be out on the floor, finding someone to spend the night with. But it didn’t feel right anymore. She hadn’t contacted him since that day and yet Jungkook didn’t care. He couldn’t think about anyone else. He knew it was stupid. He knew he should let it go, because she obviously was just doing whatever and whoever she wanted, but he didn’t care.

He just kept waiting for her to come back to him.

She did promise.

She was still Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend and Jungkook knew he shouldn’t even try because they were still friends, no matter how annoyed he was with Yoongi’s behavior right now. Bros before hoes.

Or whatever.

He suddenly felt a hand slip onto his shoulder, up his neck, cupping his cheek. Jungkook jumped, turning his head. Short black pleated skirt. Tight little white top. Silver studded black leather jacket. The same teasing, cocked eyebrow, the one that belonged to the very person he had just been thinking about. His eyes widened. She leaned down, eyes shifting to her right. Staring at Yoongi. Of course, she was staring at Yoongi.

She pressed her lips to his, sliding her tongue into his mouth, making him breathless within seconds. Holding his jaw, inhaling his scent, almost as if they were lovers, almost as if he was the only one, almost as if she saved this kiss just for him.

Jungkook knew it wasn’t true, but he still wanted the kiss anyway.

She broke the kiss, releasing his face. Her eyes lingered on his, only for a second, before she smirked and turned around, walking back into the crowd.

“Jungkook!”

He started, lips still tingling, jerking his head around to face Jimin and Taehyung, who were staring at him, shocked. Oh right. They didn’t know they fucked.

“That’s Yoongi-hyung’s ex!” Jimin scolded.

Jungkook sputtered. “S-she just walked up t-to me–”

He turned around, seeing Yoongi’s vicious scowl, shoving the other woman away from him. Jungkook threw up his hands, shaking his head furiously. He snapped back to Jimin and Taehyung.

“I swear, guys, I don’t know why she did that–”

“Jungkook.”

He froze. The ice-cold snarl came from behind him. He swallowed, turning around slowly. Yoongi looked furious. Violently furious. Jungkook hadn’t answered his phone that time when she was in his apartment, completely ignoring the multiple calls from Yoongi and his friends. It wasn’t that uncharacteristic for him to ignore calls. And besides, it wasn’t Yoongi’s business anymore, right?

Yoongi’s black hair shrouded his eyes, making them darker than usual.

“The fuck was that?”

Jungkook opened his mouth, but a cool, calm voice answered for him.

“It was none of your fucking business, Yoongi.”

She appeared, holding a shot glass. Probably whiskey, a habit she had picked up from her ex-boyfriend. The former lovers stared each other down, far too uncomfortable for anyone else in the room. Yoongi narrowed his eyes at her.

“I think it is my fucking business.”

She took a sip of her whiskey, shifting her weight to one hip. “What was it that you said again?” She pretended to think. “Oh, right. That I would fuck anything that walked, isn’t that it?” She drowned the whole glass, slamming it onto the table Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook were staring. Everyone was staring now, music still blaring.

“Guess what? Jungkook’s got legs and I’m going to fuck him.”

She crossed her arms, looking Yoongi up and down, disdain in her eyes.

“Or maybe I already have and you just don’t know it yet.”

Yoongi stiffened, glaring at her. “I was right about you.”

She glared back, just as icily. “Ah, but I had the decency to wait until things were over between us, unlike you. And,” she continued, eyes flickering to the woman who was all over Yoongi moments earlier and then to Jungkook, smirk growing on her lips. “The people I choose to lip-lock with are way hotter than your choices.”

And with that, she reached over and grabbed Jungkook’s hand, yanking him out of his seat. Jungkook stumbled, his long hair falling onto his face, hand trapped in her tight grip.

“Jungkook, don’t,” Taehyung warned.

He turned around to see Yoongi’s face, the hurt evident in his eyes despite his pointed scowl. Yoongi turned away quickly, scoffing.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he spat.

“You never did,” she shot back, dragging Jungkook away.

-

“Shouldn’t you–”

She slammed him against her car, kissing him hungrily, desperately, clearly upset. Jungkook gasped, feeling her hands all over his white shirt, thighs pressed against his black slacks. She smelled strongly of cheery perfume and whiskey. His body reacted immediately, hips bucking into hers, moaning into her mouth. If he had resolve, it crumbled instantly with her touch, the way she pressed her fingers into his shirt, holding him close as she nipped at his lips.

He wanted to say, shouldn’t you cool off? Shouldn’t you go home and not do this?

But Jungkook couldn’t, because she was finally in his arms again and he couldn’t help himself, he just kept kissing her, even if he knew she was just doing it to piss Yoongi off. Even if she probably didn’t care about his feelings at all.

She probably didn’t even give two fucks.

Suddenly, she broke the kiss, panting. “Sorry I didn’t talk to you for a while,” she muttered. “Had a… lot on my mind. Didn’t see anyone, really.”

But she gave at least one and that was enough.

“It’s okay,” Jungkook breathed, chest tight. “I understand.”

She nodded. Her eyes searched his face, half-illuminated by the streetlights. He couldn’t quite figure out her expression. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, his jaw, his neck, so many kisses, all over him, making him melt and shudder.

“Wanna make your feel good,” she said against his skin. “Right here, right now.”

“You could simply look at me and I would feel good.”

She paused, lips hovering over his skin. Hands still on his waist, holding him close. Jungkook leaned down, kissing her ear softly. Her nails dug into his shirt, scraping his back a little. He whined pleadingly, his hands coming up to hold her hips, pressing them against his crotch.

“Do whatever you want,” he whispered into her ear. “Please.”

He didn’t care that he was in some random parking lot. He didn’t care that Jimin, Taehyung, or even Yoongi could run out and yell at him at any time, telling him to stop. She could have picked anyone but she picked him, even if only for tonight, and he still wanted it, knowing it was definitely not fair.

Jungkook really, really didn’t care.

“Okay,” she finally said. “But I changed my mind.”

His heart stopped.

“Gonna take you home and fuck you there instead.”

-

Her hands curled in his long hair, hips to his, dry humping him on his own fucking bed. He gasped at her roughness, her kisses firm but coy, toying with his lips with her teeth. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he wrenched it out, intending to throw it as far as he could, but she caught his hand.

“Don’t do that,” she chuckled against his lips. “Just turn it off.”

He chewed on his lip and nodded, turning it towards him. Missed calls, multiple messages. He ignored them all, sending the screen to black. She took his phone from him, sliding it under his pillows.

“Jungkook.”

He was panting hard, black curls all over his face from her hands, pupils blown wide in the semi-darkness of his own bedroom.

“You really still want me?”

She said it with a teasing tone. The moonlight reflected off of her smooth skin, her smirk, her cocked eyebrow. Jungkook couldn’t discern the expression in her eyes. They seemed almost bottomless. And yet those little moments, the way she said his name, the way her fingers tightened around his hand, that smile she gave him before she left the first time.

He held onto those moments tightly.

“Yes.”

She slid down his body, yanking his white shirt out of his pants, pushing it up, lips attaching to his abs, gentle kitten licks setting his skin on fire. Jungkook arched his back, whining, trying to get more of himself into her mouth. Her lips brushed against his skin as she spoke and he drank up every word, becoming drunk with her praise.

“Look at you,” she breathed, undoing his pants, palming him through his underwear. “You’re so fucking hot, Jungkook, you know that?” She pressed her lips against his throbbing cock through the fabric and he moaned her name, desperate for skin-on-skin, caught in her current and following it blindly. She shuddered, breath heating his aching member. “Your voice is so fucking sexy, fuck, I love listening to you moan for me.”

She grabbed the waistband of his underwear and pulled it down his legs, shoving it and his pants down to his knees. For a panicked second, he thought she was going to tease his balls again, but she wrapped her lips around his cock, tongue pressing against the head.

“A-ah, fuck, yes…”

He wished he could sound less pathetic and more in control, but the truth was that he wasn’t, especially as she hummed, lowering her head, the tip of his cock scraping against the roof of her mouth, roughly stimulated and then choked by the back of her throat. He could hear her whimper and he wanted to ask if she was okay, but then she began to move, bobbing her head up and down ferally, hands on his bed. It was like she was ramming his cock into her own mouth, building up speed, saliva slipping out, messy and filthy. And yet the deeper his cock went, the tighter it became, her throat gripping him, almost too much for the sensitive skin of the head.

Jungkook was a gasping mess, confused on how this blowjob was so different from the last one but still just as good, confused as to how there were even different blowjob techniques to begin with, confused to how he never knew about this, how could he ever want another mouth as she ticked her head with each thrust, adding an extra swipe of her tongue to increase the sensation. His eyes rolled back into his head, hands flying up and grabbing his pillows, clutching them as he came, hips rising to fuck her mouth in time with his lengthy moan, feeling saliva drip down his thighs. She tightened her lips at the base of his cock and it throbbed in her mouth, shooting strings of cum into her throat.

She held her mouth there as his body slowly descended, dipping back into the bed. His body felt electrified, shivering with pleasure. Jungkook panted, opening his eyes, not realizing he had shut them when he came. He looked down, feeling her carefully pulling her head back. He gasped as his cock popped out of her mouth, her lips pursed. Her eyes flickered to his.

A small smirk danced on her lips.

Jungkook watched with fascination as her hand came up, lightly holding his cock out of the way. Then her plump lips parted slightly. A thin white stream of cum and saliva dripped down, splattering against his balls, still warm from her mouth, coating them.

Holy fuck.

The act was so dirty that he was breathless. She swallowed the rest before her head dipped down, eyes still on his. Her tongue extended, scooping up the mixture and eating it back up, lapping at his skin with her soft motions. He felt his jaw drop, staring at her holding his cock, licking his own cum off his balls that she had spat out.

“You…”

He couldn’t form any more words. She sucked them clean, shivers running through him as she moaned around them, his name vibrating his own balls. Holy fuck. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. How could Yoongi not want her back? How could Yoongi not want this?

His hyung was a fucking idiot.

She finally rose, stretching out her neck. Her leather jacket slid off her shoulders, pushed aside. Jungkook sat up, feeling the wet spots on his sheets, but not caring as he tugged his shirt off, far too hot anyway. His eyes lingered over her body, watching her pull off the tight white top, the thick fabric releasing her breasts, large nipples already hard and poking out at him. She noticed his gaze, tweaking her nipples at him with her fingers.

“You are the most beautiful woman in the world,” Jungkook whispered softly.

She smirked.

Jungkook knew that he was turning his own world upside-down. He knew none of this was good for his sanity. He knew all of this as he crawled to her, pushing the rest of his clothes down his legs and shoving them off the bed. None of this was fair to him and this was the most savage love he would ever experience, but he wanted nothing else, nothing but her lips on his, still tasting like his salty cum, her hands caressing his body and pulling him close. He gasped as her nipples touched his skin, rubbing her chest against his. He reached under her pleated skirt, yanking her panties down her thighs.

The scent of sex hit him in the face, so strong, so intoxicating, mixing with her cherry perfume, so arousing that he felt his cock twitch, getting hard already, wanting her, needing her. And it was all wrong, remembering the pain in Yoongi’s eyes before he looked away, but she handed Jungkook a condom and he opened it, sliding it over his cock, moaning as he watched her turn around, hooking a finger and twisting her panties, slipping them down her calves and off her feet, tossing them to his floor. Ass in the air, inviting him in.

“Fuck me, Jungkook.” Her voice a breathless plea. “Fuck me like you own me.”

He got to his knees, holding her hips, sliding in slowly, bit by bit, eyes closing as he pushed in, so tight, hissing her name as he buried himself inside her warmth. She squeezed his cock, rolling her hips back into him.

“Please, Jungkook…”

She was using him to get what she wanted but he really didn’t care, biting his lip and ramming his hips into her, gasping at how good it felt, how perfectly they fit together. Her walls massaged his length as he thrust into her, loudly slapping his crotch into her ass. He watched her hands grip his sheets, heard her say his name over and over as he fucked her harder, faster, burning her voice into his memory. Because in his moment, she was his.

In this moment, her head turned, eyes half-lidded, her pink tongue licking her lower lip.

“Fuck, Jungkook, you’re so good at fucking me.”

Her whole body was jerking forward with the force of his thrusts. She closed her eyes and threw her head back in ecstasy, moaning as she came around him, pussy pulsating around his cock, hips trembling in his hands. Jungkook knew he was completely fucked, absolutely in love with the wrong person, but there was nothing be could do about it. He fucked her through her orgasm, pressing a hand on her back to get a deeper angle, groaning as he felt her tighten around him.

“Yes, Jungkook, oh, fuck, yeeees…”

She felt so good, the scent of her orgasm driving him insane, her sounds so erotic that he clenched his jaw, punishingly fucking her into the bed, his thighs screaming at him, until the taut string inside him snapped, pleasure knocking the wind out of his lungs, a choked gasp of her name as he shot into the condom, cock twitching into her walls, cum choked out by her second orgasm pumping him. She turned her head, smirking, looking satisfied and spent.

“Jungkook-ah…”

It was almost real, the way she waited as he fished for the condom, holding it to him as he pulled out, almost real as she crawled over to him, kissing him softly, almost lovingly, almost…

Jungkook got up to clean himself off and came back to her putting her clothes back on. Shrugging on her leather jacket. His heart sank, seeing her beautiful form covered back up. She seemed to notice his gaze and, for a moment, they stared at each other. Him, naked, in the doorframe of his bedroom, her next to his bed.

She took a step towards him. Then another. Then another, until they were side by side, and Jungkook closed his eyes, fully aware that it would end like this, but hating it anyway. 

He felt her hand on his shoulder, caressing his skin. 

Jungkook turned his head, eyes opening. Her index finger poked him in the cheek when he faced her, making him freeze and his lips part, staring into her eyes, the fogged windows of her soul. 

She smiled at him, shrouded by moonlight. 

"See you, Jungkook."

And then she removed her hand and sauntered out of his apartment. 

-

"You're going to get hurt."

"It's not worth it."

"He's obviously still in love with her."

"She might even still be in love with him."

Jungkook heard all these things from his friends, but he didn't care. He didn't care, because the second he opened the door and she was standing there in her leather jacket, crop top, and tight miniskirt, no one else mattered. 

"Even if she does like you," Park Jimin had told him gently. "It's obvious that you're just a rebound right now, because of everything that's happened."

He knew that. He knew it, and yet he pulled her into his arms, lips pressed against hers, murmuring her name, shutting his front door. 

"She's using you to provoke Yoongi."

Jungkook knew that too and still he cupped her face in his hands, kissing her all over, enjoying the feeling of her hands slipping under his t-shirt. He loved they way she quickly stripped off his clothes, with frenzy and need. 

He wanted to tell her, "Don't go." 

She took his breath away, body on top of his, riding him, driving him insane with her soft noises and pleas of his name. Holding his hands, slapping her hips into his. 

He wanted to say, "Please stay with me."

Her hands tangled in his hair as he folded her in half, fucking her into his bed, hot breath mixing with hers as she moaned. Always praising him and reminding him of how good he was, how nice he felt. 

He wanted to scream, "I promise I'll never try to hurt you. I promise to always try to protect your heart. I promise I love you."

But in the end, she always shrugged on her studded leather jacket, the metal causing sunlight to scatter over his bedroom wall, haloing around her like golden feathery wings, her hair glistening in the dying sunset. She would notice his gaze on her and she would lean over and kiss him with a smirk and a mischievous sparkle in her eye.

And she would say, "See you, Jungkook."

And he would say, "Okay."

His front door would close and he would bury his face into his pillows, inhaling her cherry perfume and the scent of her cum. 

-

One time, he hesitated.

She said, "See you, Jungkook." And he paused, staring up at her longingly, not saying anything. Her hand lingered on his cheek, his lips still tingling from her last kiss. His hand came up and touched hers, holding it there. 

Don't let go. 

She smiled and leaned in again. A second kiss, a deep press of lips to lips, no teasing tongue. Then she backed up, pulling her hand out from his. 

"There's no other guy," she said softly. "Only you."

And she left, as usual, but with these additional words sweeping him away, lost in these little moments she gave him, clutching his pillows against his chest and trying to calm his racing heart. 

-

It made every happenstance and mention of Yoongi's antics enrage Jungkook more and more, hearing of and witnessing the different women Yoongi took home all the time, all of them with one or two characteristics of her, but never the whole package, because the whole package was on his doorstep with a teasing smirk and cocked eyebrow. And it was so obvious that she was still hurt, that maybe even a little bit of her still hoped. Jungkook saw it in her eyes, even when he was deep inside her, her eyes trying to hide it all and bury it away.

He knew he was being used, but he still let her come back.

He wanted to strangle Yoongi, even though he was obviously in the wrong too.

But the reality was…

He just wanted her to love him back. 

Even if only a little. 

-

"I'm sorry."

Jungkook knew that low, raspy voice, laced with alcohol, most likely whiskey. He froze, backing up against the brick wall next to the nightclub. Inside was violent noise, but outside, in this night, next to this alley, it was eerily quiet.

"Little late for that, isn't it?"

And Jungkook knew that voice too, his heart sinking, knowing that playful smirk was speaking to her ex-lover once again. At least there was a hint of annoyance. Jungkook heard the rustle of leather, her soft exhale as Yoongi pressed her body into the brick wall with his. 

"Yes, but I mean it this time."

A sharp bark of disbelieving laughter. "Just like how you mean to go home with different sluts every night to try and forget about me?"

The rasp became sharper, cutting. "And you consistently fuck him. One of my best friends, no less."

Jungkook was surprised that Yoongi did not speak about him in past tense. He thought for sure Yoongi hated him, but it seemed like his rage was aimed at her, twisted with regret. 

"Guess we're both past forgiveness."

He could hear heavy breathing. Leather on leather, the distinct sound of Yoongi and her together, hands on skin, soft lustful panting. No. Please no. Jungkook's stomach turned into a heavy knot.

"We could let it go," Yoongi murmured. "Forget about it all and come home to me."

The knot inside him twisted as a vulgar smack cut through the stale night air, followed by her soft gasp. Yoongi's hand on her ass. The sound of nails on skin, and then lips to lips. Jungkook felt his glass heart tumble, tumble, cracking as he replayed every one of their moments; her grip on his hands as he heard her moan into Yoongi's lips; her smile to him before she stepped out his front door as Yoongi grunted, shoving her hips into his; her lips forming his name – "Jungkook-ah…" – as the kiss broke, shudders exchanged in the narrow alley as Jungkook stood at the outskirts, listening.

Holding his glass heart, fractured in every corner, so many facets he couldn't see his own reflection anymore. 

"That was the most insincere kiss you've ever given me, Min Yoongi."

And then there was a flash of leather and swift running as the combat boots flew past him, short skirt flaring with each step, not seeing him, only shooting past like a black comet into the black night. Upset, untouchable, unhindered by the heavy sigh in the alley. Yoongi clicked his tongue, cursing to himself, his boot kicking the brick wall, sound so loud it seemed to eat up the night. 

Jungkook clutched his glass heart and ran after her. 

-

His fist pounded at her door, hurting his knuckles on the metal, scraping them against the number. He had never been here before, never seen her apartment. She lived in a small, run-down complex. His chest was tight, lungs on fire as he had chased after her, following from bus stops to streets, almost losing her at several points. He had waited after she entered her apartment, pacing, unsure what he wanted to do. Unsure whether to scream, to plead, to cry, but, in the end, he just slammed his fist against the door and shut his eyes.

Because, in the end, all he wanted was to see her face.

The door wrenched open.

Jungkook started, throwing himself away from the door. And there she was. Wearing baggy gray sweatpants and a violently short crop top, a white t-shirt cut too high, her movement providing the daintiest flash of under-boob. She looked livid at first, but her features softened instantly when she saw him.

“Jungkook?”

Her voice small, surprised. The light behind her seemed to be low to the ground, so her face and body were lit from below, a pale-yellow glow.

His hands shot forward, his body moving before he had time to think. He grabbed her face, pulling it to him, pressing his lips to hers, closing his eyes and inhaling her cherry perfume, trying to tell her, I love you, I love you, I love you, and he almost sobbed with how soft her lips were, how perfectly they fit against his. Trying to say, please be mine, please know that with this kiss, I am giving you everything I have, his hands pressing into her cheeks, stroking her temples and her jaw with his fingertips. She gasped into his mouth and he tilted his head, kissing her harder, pushing her into her apartment, kicking the door closed behind him.

Jungkook finally backed off to breathe, still holding her face, staring into her slightly unfocused eyes, still trying to process what was happening.

“What about this kiss?” His voice cracked a little, on the verge of crying. “Does this kiss have the sincerity you’re looking for?”

And then her attention was fully on him, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“I was there,” Jungkook whispered guiltily. “Because Taehyung told me Yoongi was out and you were there and I couldn’t… I couldn’t stand knowing he was so close to you after hurting you so much.” His hands slid down, holding her shoulders, his breath shuddering. “Please… Please don’t give him any more chances.”

Jungkook pressed his forehead against hers.

“I know you are just using me to feel better. I know that. Use me as much as you want. I don’t care. But please…”

He closed his eyes, pushing the tears back, choking out his words.

“Please don’t kiss him anymore.”

And then Jungkook lifted his head, kissing her again, hungrier this time, trying to patch his fears with lust, sliding his hands down her shoulders to her arms, pulling her close. Her breathing hitched as he shoved her into his chest, feeling her nipples through his black shirt. He moaned into her mouth, touching her back and running his hands over her bare skin. She had to grab the waistband of his jeans to prevent herself from losing balance, gasping as he kissed down her neck fervently, nipping at her throat. He murmured her name into her hot skin, sucking on it.

“J-Jungkook…”

His tongue ran over her collarbones, dipping in between them, rolling his hips into hers, savoring the sensation of her body against his. He kicked his shoes off, scattering them as he walked them into further and further into her apartment. Her skin trembled under him, fingers tightening on the belt loops of his jeans. Right up against the wall, pressing her into it, yanking down her gray sweatpants, and she gasped, startled by his need. He pushed her panties down to her knees, trailing kisses down her stomach, fingers pressed into her hips.

“A-ah, Jungkook…”

And he was drunk, drunk on the way she said his name, lost in the sensation of her skin against his lips and the scent of her sex, so strong and sweet and powerful that he buried his nose into it, moaning hotly into her wet opening. He pulled one of her legs out of her pants and fitted it onto his shoulder. The moment his tongue touched her juices, his grip tightened, shoving her hips into his face. Her lovely taste coated his tongue as he thrust it into her. She whined above him, hands tangling in his hair as he began to lick, shuddering as she became slicker, the taste sharpening as he played with her clit, lapping at it roughly. Holding her in place, not stopping, coaxing her to her peak, pushing her to the edge.

His tongue, his, doing this to her, unraveling her in his arms, and overwhelming her with lust.

“Jungkook, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Her hips rutted into his face and he loved it, latching his lips onto her clit, licking and sucking as her viscous juices slid down his chin, dripping onto his neck. He kept going, feelings her thighs tense and hearing his name falling from her lips in her ecstasy. She tasted even better, sweet with a hint of sour, and he slipped his head downwards, moan muffled as he ate up her orgasm, her soft thigh pressed against his cheek.

He licked her tenderly, working her through the aftershocks before he released her leg, standing back up. She was panting, pupils blown wide, blinking rapidly as he kissed her again, smearing her juices on her chin. She whimpered against his mouth, hands clutching his shirt as he sucked on her tongue, taking the hem of her shirt and pulling it up, only breaking the kiss to remove it from her head. It made her hair even messier than before, falling in waves around her face, framing it perfectly.

His eyes on her face, knowing he was so deeply in love that he was drowning.

“I want to fuck you,” he breathed.

His hand came up and cupped her cheek. He leaned in, eyelids closing, pressing his lips to hers, speaking into them.

“I want to love you.”

Gentle, soft pecks onto those perfect plump lips.

“Let me love you,” he whispered, placing his free hand over hers, the ones still gripping his shirt.

His heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was vibrating in his ribcage.

“Jungkook, w-wait…”

And he really didn’t want to wait, he wanted to tell her to shut up and let him make love to her, but he paused, finally opening his eyes to her ashamed expression, looking away. She closed her eyes, shaking her head, releasing him and backing up a little. It was like he was suddenly hollow, carved out when she removed her body heat from his. She still wasn’t looking at him, eyes opening to gaze at the far wall. His eyes followed hers.

And he gasped.

She didn’t have a living room. Instead, the large space littered with easels, canvases, and paper. Tubs and tubs of paint, all kinds, watercolor, oil, acrylic, gouache, all colors, everywhere. Paint-covered cups with dirty water and palettes of dried paint all over the floor. And on the far wall, a large canvas leaned against it, covered in colorful paint strokes. It took up the whole wall, and there was even a step ladder near it so she could reach the top.

Jungkook was breathless.

Absolutely breathless.

He took a step towards it.

Because in striking, full detail, she had captured his face in various shades of blue, pink, yellow, and orange. Only tiny points of black for emphasis. The negative white space carved out his features, the curve of his neck, the broadness of his shoulders. His long curly hair in blue and pink, his eyes in orange and yellow, sparkling, even with the wrinkles that appeared when he smiled, his cheeks round from how big he was smiling.

She had even added the moles on his cheek, nose, and underneath his lower lip.

It was unmistakably him. Jeon Jungkook.

“W-what…?”

He looks back at her. She looked embarrassed.

“It’s not very good,” she chuckled nervously. “Sorry, I…” She pointed at it awkwardly and lowered her hand just as quickly. She tried to start a sentence, but shook her head. Instead, she breathed in deeply so she could speak evenly. “When I paint, I don’t plan anything. I do it when I’m stressed, so none of it is any good.” She rubbed the back of her head, using her other hand to point to the mess.

“I got a huge canvas and started painting, because of the whole…”

She looked pained. She sucked her lips in her mouth, slowly releasing them. Then she sighed.

“I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Jungkook made eye contact.

“It’s me.”

She chuckled, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

He turned back to stare at it, stare at himself smiling out to the room in stunning color. This huge canvas wasn’t Min Yoongi. It was him. Him, Jeon Jungkook. She had painted him, larger than life, clearly visible in her apartment, unable to avoid the large canvas. He had only missed it because he had been so upset and focused on her. But the truth was, he was always here.

Here, smiling at her when she got home.

“I don’t look this good,” Jungkook muttered.

She laughed, that beautiful laugh he loved so much. He felt her walk up to him, nudging his side.

“Yes, you do. You always look amazing.”

“Not when I wake up.”

She shrugged. “I’ve seen you wake up after a night of drinking. You’re adorable.”

Jungkook felt his ears heat. There was a long silence of him studying all the details.

“He knows.”

She sighed, heavily.

“He saw it one night. When he came over to try to convince me to take him back. I hadn’t finished much, but he could tell it was you.” She pointed to the mole under his lower lip. “Because of this.”

“You noticed.”

She smirked. Then she turned back to painting. “He was really mad. I hadn’t painted anyone else before him. Before Yoongi, I only painted scenes and random objects. Not people.” Her eyes roamed over the large canvas. “I painted him a lot, on smaller canvases and paper. He has them all, somewhere. Maybe he’s burned them now. I don’t know. But when he saw this, I think he knew, even before me.” Her voice was getting smaller and smaller. “He knew I was falling out of love with him.”

She looked away, to a point Jungkook couldn’t see, into the past.

“I wondered if It would feel the same, if I kissed him again. I wondered if he would still give me the same excitement, the same desire.” She closed her eyes. “But I didn’t feel anything.”

She lifted her head and looked at him, the Jungkook in blue, pink, orange, and yellow.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook.” It seemed like she was speaking to the painting because she couldn’t face him. “I’m sorry for being so cruel to you.” Her lips curved into a sad smile. Her eyes flitted to every corner of the large painting, arms around her naked body, hugging herself, an empty, lonely feeling surrounding her as she spoke.

“Love is fleeting anyway.”

Jungkook reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him. He pressed his nose into her hair, inhaling deeply.

“Stop listening to his stupid words and listen to me,” he mumbled. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I’ll tell you a thousand times. A million times, until you believe me. Stay with me and I’ll tell you every day, every night, all the time.”

“You… deserve better than me, Jungkook.”

“I don’t care,” he retorted stubbornly. “Is another woman going to paint an entire wall of my face? No. I love you.” And you love me, he wanted to add. I know you do, because I can see it right in front of my face, even if you can’t.

She lowered her head, burying her face in his arms.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she mumbled, a shudder running through her.

Jungkook thought of all those times, those confident smirks, those powerful strides, her strong words and firm affirmations. Everyone thought she had it all together. Everyone thought she was over Yoongi, because she had shot him down so hard. So cool that she was able to be so self-assured.

But the truth was here, painted in vivid color.

He placed his lips on the top of her head, kissing her softly.

“Why me?” he whispered.

He heard her chuckle at the familiar question.

“If you want the truth,” she murmured into his forearms. “I don’t know. I only went over to your apartment because I thought…” She raised her head, sighing apologetically. “I thought, ‘It’s going to be easy giving Jungkook a mind-blowing orgasm.’”

“I had two, in fact.”

She really did have a beautiful laugh.

“Now I’m corrupted,” Jungkook teased, squeezing her in his arms. “I won’t leave you alone.”

She looked up at the painting. Her tone was different now, less sad, warmer.

“No, I guess you won’t.”

--

masterpost

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Wait I had a thought. Horde Prime was alone and built his own family, by making them all pristine white, identical to him, to use and abuse to his liking. He is obsessed with perfection. Entrapta was alone and built her own family, but instead of cloning she gave each robot in Dryl its own looks, each one has its own personality, they are grimy and gray, and she takes care of them when they break instead of disposing of them. She loves imperfection. Idk what it means but, creation contrast.

OH, I just noticed you were talking about Prime, NOT Hordak!!!!! This is in reference to my colour inversion post, eh? ;)

The question is: Did Prime START OFF alone, like Entrapta (implied) and Hordak, or did he end up that way, like Catra?

Personally, I have the headcanon that, like Catra, Prime was the master of his own isolation - he drove away everyone that would have cared about him. But unlike Catra, Prime had no remorse and no regrets. He was a true monster. I've seen quite a few stories where Prime's homeworld was eradicated, thus, perhaps giving an interesting backstory - having seen disorder shatter his own world, he sought merciless control.

ANYWAY, Entrapta!

What I noticed upon rewatch is: There are a couple of times in the show where Entrapta shows darker shades, with her treatment of her own robots.

I wonder if this was back when they were 50/50 on what direction to go with her character? Or, at least, part of the great evil mad scientist ruse. Like, she is unstable in her approach to her own creations.

Anyway here are some caps.

The ones in the FIRST Dryl episode are kinda slavebots. Like she has one for baths. Don't ask me how that works. And they power down when not in use.

She isn't sorry for getting them destroyed, but fully intends to repair them, carressing the top robot mask.

(also fyi she gave her city to the horde while there were people living in there??? oh dear, it seems dryl wasnt completely empty)

Petting this robot, and then lasering it, as a demonstration. Love the juxtaposition here.

Blowing up a failed experiment in the next ep. Also she watched a lot of them get blown up and reacted with curiosity more than anything else.

Though props to this one for having a cute bow tie!

Then it's a bit different by "The Portal".

THIS is the scene I'm most interested in.

The robots are now "my friends", with the Best Friend Gang being a bit taken aback. And this time, they don't power down when not in use - they're all active in her lab, and one of them even starts to flirt with Bow!

But then she says this!!!

I don't know, there is something a bit fucked up about this line. It is her bitterness about repeatedly getting let down by human friends leaking into her version of the portal world. A couple even speculated that this could relate to her family instead/as well. Which is a tragic thought, and I dig it, though I think face value it's the friendship.

But my point is Entrapta doesn't always value her robots the same way as people. It depends on the robot, mostly. But I think it makes her more interesting if this bitterness/dehumanisation of her machines comes and goes with her mood. It's a flaw and part of her darker side.

Anyway I think there's a difference between these robots and the more advanced AI from later on. For example - Entrapta would immediately protect Emily. She calls her "my most advanced robot yet" and jumps into harms way to protect her.

Though, she does admit to having accidentally blown up Emily more than once in some experiments and maintenance xD but she put her back together.

Of course, back to the original ask, yeah. Prime's robots have absolutely no originality, no quirks, and no elements of humanity to them, as much as Entrapta tries to flirt with them.

[greensaplinggrace]

not you saying the list of darklina gics you're gonna recommend is not a lot and then belting out essays about 15 fics lmao, it was great <3. Also i'm curious if you want to share you said you're writing multiple fics rn, could you share with us a little about them ?

I'm so glad you liked the list! 💕 I had a lot of fun making it and got the chance to ramble about my favorite writers a bit XD. I'll admit that I actually pulled out a lot more fics than I thought I would lol, so at least it wasn't as short as I'd worried. Although it's still a lot less than I would usually read in a fandom where I wasn't writing fic.

I'd love to share a bit about the fics I'm writing! I have a lot of AUs and ideas in my WIP folder, but I'm currently only really engaging with a few right now.

Born to Be [Redacted] is my biggest WIP at the moment. It's a Malarklina Rapunzel/Tangled Fusion AU wherein the Darkling is stuck in a tower and Malina are chaotic and decide to break him out.

Of course, the Darkling is nowhere near as innocent as Rapunzel, and Mal and Alina are a lot more capable than they were at the start of SaB. It's got a fun play on power dynamics and learning to trust and hurt/comfort tropes, plus a good balance of darker elements and lighter elements. There's going to be adventure and romance and a whole lot of fucking over the Ravkan monarchy 💕

Inch By Inch We Drown Ourselves is a long Malarklina smut fic that has once more gotten away from me and become more complex and emotional than I ever intended for it to be.

Mal and Alina are together and married in an open relationship when Mal brings Aleksander Morozov home for a one night stand. The sex is mind-blowingly good, and Alina eventually joins in as the night progresses. The next morning, when Mal and Alina wake up, Aleksander is gone but he's left his number.

For a few days, they don't call him and their lives return to normal. But then, after a particularly wild night, they invite him over again. And then again. And again. And again. And once he's become a part of their lives, there's no stopping the chaos that follows.

It's got a lot of soft BDSM elements, and explores the very slow and gradual process of Aleksander, who is usually very dominant in bed, learning to give up control with people he trusts.

At the Foot of Her Altar is a short and very dark Darklina fic. It's a lot less down to earth than the other ones, and has a bit of a focus on existential morality.

General Aleksander Morozov worships Sankta Alina, Goddess of the Sun, Goddess of Life and Virtue. Everyday he kneels at her altar, blood on his hands, and prays.

Backwards Acceleration is a WIP that I haven't quite figured out the endgame couple for yet. It's leaning towards Malarklina or Darkblade at this point, but could very well go Darklina. And it's basically just a very elaborate role reversal AU.

Aleksander meets Mal when he's younger. They grow up together as friends, and they both decide to join the army when they come of age. For a few years, they train and rise in ranks and go on missions, getting put in separate units and often spending time apart.

Then they're both set to cross the Scorched Wastes, and an attack on their train forces Aleksander to expose his powers. He's taken to the Exalted Sanctuary, where grisha are brought to be protected and train as priests, separate from the rest of the world.

But Aleksander is a fighter. He does not cower. He does not hide. And the best kind of defense is not one where you lock yourself away, frightened by your enemies; it is one where your enemies aren't ever alive to be a threat to you in the first place.

Now all he must do is convince Sankte Alina that the best place for her to protect her people is not behind the walls of a holy church, but instead on the throne.

Meanwhile, Mal is left wondering just how deep into trouble his friend has gotten, and why he ever attached himself to such a disaster of a person in the first place.

---

I also have a few prompts that I've been working on, plus the second chapter to We Have All the Time in the World. Some of the other AUs, like the Guardian Angel AU and the Con-Artist AU and the Time Travel AU, are going to start being written after I've completed everything else. Unless I'm suddenly and unfortunately struck by inspiration for something that I haven't already almost completed lol.

Anyways! That's just some of what's going on right now in terms of my fics! 😅 I hope you like it so far.

[tepperz]

sorry it took me a bit to reply, this weekend went by so fast!

So in a way you already do have references organized and at hand! You must remember where certain significant scenes are in a series so you can flip there and find it quickly :3c  It’d be very cool to see an examination of comics from an art perspective since most reviews focus on the story and characters… Ah but yeah, it’s a looot of work making videos! @@

You know, thats true!! 8U

Haha that’s fair, especially regarding Sugisaki’s writing. Plus it drives me up a wall how inconsistent her locations and left/right hand placements are from panel-to-panel! Right beside each other!!! Even so, reading the pages does feel so… smooth. It all flows impressively well. I don’t even know how one begins capturing that. I’ll have to look now and see how infrequently she draws feet and shoes because I do have trouble thinking of more than a couple moments loool

Very true. I've analyzed her panels and she just has such a grasp on page flow that makes things feel so natural and fun to read. A lot of varied panels and artwork that points to the next spot to read. She's also very good at page cliffhangers, which is a thing where there is the question at the end of the page that makes you want to turn it to get an answer. It can be a dialogue stated question or an unsaid question that raises a mystery or intrigue. She might not answer a lot of questions but she sure asks them a lot in her story! But yeah feet and backgrounds are not her favorite thigs. If she can replace her backgrounds with screentones or effects then she will xD Still, it does take a certain mastery in order to put so many screentones and still have them fit so well. She does randomly place characters wherever and mixes up the left and right a lot from panel to panel, but I'd also say that's usually intentional to help with her flow. I wonder who she studied under? Hmmmm. Sorry if this rambeling doesn't make sense, i have a bit of brain fog!

Ey if others’ artworks have unique value then yours do as well~

Pikachu face. I guess thats true, but its hard to see it for yourself!

agree that sharing processes are interesting too~ The “history” adds more depth in a way! (And I’m curious how other artists make their stuff~)

That's true, I'd love to see other processes too. I watch speeddraws and stuff but that's not really the same as knowing about their decision making process!

I wish I had more processes to share. I’ll try to take a screenshot of my references all together while I’m working on my next pieces!

I'd like that! :D Its cool to see inside your brain ooooh 👻

I swear the strong winds are a coincidence in this case because I drew the lines long before I had a color scheme in mind…! They look extra similar though, can’t deny. xD

How interesting!! I wonder if part of the reason you subliminally chose the reference picture is because of that vibrant wind feeling?

It’s pretty hard to get the right colors yeah, so a lot of my pieces turn out lighter than I wanted.

Ohhhh that makes sense. Yeah, that's the rough thing with watercolors... do you ever color correct on the computer after? I end up sometimes make my digital pieces lighter then I intend and end up color correcting myself. I think this is a good example

The left is the before and the right is the after darkening it a bit. It's a subtle thing but it adds something. Luckily I've been getting better at picking what color I want the first time but I'm still happy that I can turn to color corrections if I need to.

Like you showed in your blue gouache below, when I try to do darker washes, there’s a huuuge risk of it looking streaky too (and that’s why I ended up covering one of my paintings in gouache because the dark watercolors just did not work out orz)  But I’ve been trying to incorporate them more anyway. Paper quality definitely affects watercolor’s forgiveness ;;;;  BUT I’ve been going wild with dark pieces digitally and it’s so much fun!

I think that's great! It's cool to hear about the struggles of the medium from someone so experienced with watercolors. Dark colored pieces can be so satisfying, right? Man, paper quality... yeah. What sort of paper do you like to use? Lately Ive just been using canson mixed media sketchbooks because I like that they can take a beating. My third eye opened recently because I realized that I could probably paint the top of my sketchbook if I wanted. Ive never done anything like that before :0

Right right, I feel the same about his videos! It’s like I need to just digest or put that one lesson into practice before I can even think about what he’s going to cover next. I love his passion for the subject. He drew yugioh cards?? Good taste, OP. :3c I honestly didn’t know anything about his career so it’s cool to learn he has all this experience! He’s brilliant anyway but still~

Yes! I wish I could put him on in the background as I draw more but since he speaks japanese I have to really pay attention and watch the subtitles when I enjoy his videos. Did you see his channel take-down a while ago? I feel so bad for him, having to start up his channel all over again. All that lost knowledge, too. ): But I'm so glad he still had a few essential videos of his ready for reupload! And he's still going strong too with creating for his new channel. What a determined guy! And he still tries to be so cheerful for his audience. I look up to him.

Yes, thank you!! I can always use more color theory tutorials. I need to read things worded several different ways before it sticks, apparently orz  Oh dang too bad about the creator… But yeah, that doesn’t change whether the lesson itself is helpful. So that’s what’s in the psd file! I’ll have to open that up ASAP. Kwacy has a gorgeous style so I’ll love seeing it broken down. Phew, I’m glad I added the book after all. And I hope the rest can be useful somehow too! Thanks for sharing even your  paywall materials. ;v; I feel the same about artists lifting each other up. I have Fowkes’ “How to Paint Landscapes Quickly and Beautifully in Watercolor and Gouache” and “Artists’ Master Series: Color and Light”. The first has process shots on his paintings and how he works from and alters his references/plein air views. It’s also a pretty artbook lol. The second was a collaboration with several other artists and is basically a textbook. A heavy, colorful textbook that has lots of light science in it~ I like to flip through it when I feel like I’m missing something but not sure what.

I have gratefully downloaded all of your tutorial files! Thank you so much again for sending them my way, there is SO much good information, and I haven't seen the bulk of it anywhere before! Really great for references. Ohhh those books you have sound amazing. I will have to look into trying to get those myself. An artbook that is also sort of a textbook sounds SUPER useful. And yeah np if i run into any other cool tutorial stuff i will send them my way, let me know if anything was especially useful to you and Ill see if I can find anything similar.

As much as I fight with gouache sometimes I also adore it. Love those flat, solid colors so much. I think the hardest part is getting used to the long “ugly stage” my gouache pieces have because watercolor doesn’t really do that (not that it can’t look ugly too, but it’s so transparent that the plot is never lost along the way, I guess?) Right, I feel you there. And once water’s added to gouache, it can look like it’s going down smooth but when it dries… betrayal. It’s a delicate balance of wet vs. dry orz Ooh your gouache pieces are nice with it watered down like that! Ye, a a single color can look quite different from one end of the gradient to the other. (Love the dancing cat things btw. They have so much personality~)

Yeah, no, i get you with that. Even if watercolor goes down messily or there is a mistake, the texture of watercolor still tends to make something look beautiful, I think. Plus a few dabs of water and you're a lot further on correcting it! Do you always seal your paintings ad sketches when you're done? I don't really do that as much as I should. I think out of all my sketchbooks I've only properly sealed maybe one. Apparently good hairspray can do sealing well too. (!?)

Grandmas have all these hidden talents that they just whip out of nowhere like “okay quick before you go let me just impart 60 years of rug-making secrets onto you”~ But yeah, I enjoyed learning from her. And exactly! Oil’s drying time, the solvents, the smell, the CLEANUP– I absolutely get the appeal because mixing them is something special but I’ll leave that to someone with more patience~ An oil painting of Kirby sounds so fancy! Good use of the medium =v=

Haha so true! The wisdom! The good vibes!! Oh yeah, oils are not only messy, but the cleanup.... oi vey. Yeah. Not to mention getting oils out of brushes just feel like such a chore... I like just being able to run my brush under water and being done!! gap! You like mixing them???? I absolutely do not like that part at all xDDD I feel like it's never mixed properly!! But I love seeing people mix oils, because it can be satisfying to watch. But yeah they take SOOOO long to dry. I will share my kirby once it's dry!!!! In a million years xD Pus not only are oils stink though, and messy, but if you have animals it's a disaster. I have to hide away kirby inside a ice cooler in order for my cats not to walk on him!

Uh oh talking watercolors could make this long message actually endless~ I use a bunch of different brands nowadays but I started out with Sakura Koi and White Nights.

thats ok i really like hearing about your experiences. Oh, I have some sakura koi! I have not tried them yet though. I haven't heard of white nights! ohhh but they look so pretty on amazon.

Still have a lot left from the latter though if I need a new color I usually get M. Graham (honey-based so it’s gentle on my brushes but also messy) and Holbein (super smooth, not much granulation).

HONEY BASED??????? Omg i want some that sounds awesome. (looking them up) They look so VIBRANT. Ohh and ive seen holbein around but i wasn't sure about them! Good to know they have your approval. I know whats going on my christmas wish list xD

Tubes aren’t cheap, very true… they last forever at least!! I pour mine into little pans and let them dry so they’re portable.

that. is. adorable. Handy! Makes sense! But so cute. You can just whip it out!!! Makes sense!

OH one more: from May to August I only used my Meiliang watercolors… They’re a student grade of the Paul Rubens brand so they’re cheap yet very good quality.

ohhhhhhh.... tbh those look exactly up my ally. I don't know what it is about student grade high quality watercolors that makes me wag my tail, but those look great. I will for sure try those once I get a chance. What do you find is the difference between student grade and professional grade when it comes to application, for you?

Do you like Winsor and Newton even if you prefer the ovals? I only have a couple colors from them but they seem like a solid brand. (And props to you for having the patience for the super super cheap paints because they’re another challenge altogether!)

Okay so I was wrong! Apparently what I've been using recently IS the koi! But I also used a bit of winsor newton too. And, you know... I have no idea if what I'm about to say is controversial or not (because my experience with talking to watercolor enthusiasts are limited) but so far the professional grade watercolors seem... lighter? I don't know if its because the little half pans I use for the professional grade, I use less paint because I'm scared of using them up, or....? You know, now that im thinking about it, maybe its because I don't use the tubes? I buy pans and half pans and maybe that has something to do with it. Regardless my prang ovals really do it for me for some reason. Heres what i mean

These are some sketches from the zoo of a monkey. I did tree different watercolors at the bottom, and the bottom is the prang. Reusing them again made me really remember how much i love them. I put about the same amount of time into all of the colors. So weird xD I wonder how you'd find the derpy prang paints!

How did you learn to draw so well? Like was it from classes or a book on fundamentals or just trial and error?

//// thanks for the kind question!

I guarantee you I would have improved faster if I’d taken a class, but I hope some of the materials I’ve used over the years can be of use to you too:

Andrew Loomis’ books - I never made it past the first chapters, but those had some great advice.

Youtube - Proko’s bean method. Figure drawing references will greatly improve anatomy and “drawing what you see”. It’s boring imo, so doing just 5-10 minutes a day can keep one from burning out while still seeing improvement. Speed painting videos are a nice way to relax and study.

Will Terrell’s People Drawing series - He’s a humble man with personal advice for artists. I watch his videos when I feel discouraged or lost.

Art, art, art - Whenever I see an artwork that I like, I figure out exactly what pleases me: line thickness, nose shape, finger positions, composition, the way the hair bends in the wind, etc. Then I try to incorporate that specific characteristic into my own art.

I have growing folders of (I’m a bit embarrassed) almost 8,000 pictures, organized by characteristics, for the sole purpose of studying their prettiness. Sometimes we don’t need a tutorial to spell everything out, just an example can help us envision our own works’ potential. Also, staring at pictures is a relaxing way to study too!

And of course, trial and error~ I don’t post my sad, failed paintings or all the weird sketches I make, but they exist and teach a lot!

[kaypeace21]

i’m a survivor too, and i found that certain scenes/stuff will said just really struck me as ‘csa-survivor’-like? i felt a bit uncomfortable about headcanoning it happening to someone else, especially for a fandom as wild as this one, but your metas have really been a comfort to me because they’ve been able to pick out and explain things that i couldn’t necessarily find the words for myself.

and yeah, i would love to have a character like me that is powerful and who finds love and who gets a happy ending. the people who call the theory disgusting always kinda hit wrong with me because although csa is a difficult subject, we shouldn’t be ashamed about sharing it. they sound like they’re trying to say that it’s a bad topic to talk about and implying that it can’t happen to kids, which uhhhhh-

(i’m sure that’s not what they mean, precisely, but it’s still what they sound like, and i wish that they would stop implying that we can’t exist, especially in popular media. we do, and i’m not gonna pretend we don’t, and if they feel uncomfortable with the topic they can just use the block button. we deserve to have some well written representation just as much as anyone else. also, i really really hope that will gets a happy ending.)

anywayyyy i love your theories and i can see your post in the tag so i think you’re fine?? have a good day ❤️❤️❤️

SORRY, this ask took so long to respond to. It always warms my heart to hear other survivors speak and say they found comfort in my theory.

Yes, I think I and a lot of c*a/r*pe victims (subconscious or otherwise) were triggered by some of the symbolism/visuals in s1-3. And s3 made it hard for most of us to ignore the past imagery- since s3 wasn’t as subtle.

I get why people have reservations about the theory. But the debates to the contrary are usually just plain offensive. Or people trying to be respectful but being the opposite. There’s the obvious bad-apples . I got many anons after part 1 of my DID theory saying it “ruined/tainted byler”, and “if that happened to Will i’ll stop shipping byler” , or that it  “ruins the best gay character” ,  and to “remove the post immediately”. And this was when I was open about being a gay c*a victim. I obviously blocked them. Many survivors don’t come forward because they’re afraid people will see them as “tainted”, “ruined”, “ just their trauma”, or blame them for what happened. So yeah, it pisses me off when people say similar stuff about Will (and thus other c*a victims). Not even diving into the messed up psychology about byler/mileven shippers (knowing i was a lesbian c*a victim) but purposely spreading bs rumors about me being a p*do that was into Will/Noah-all because of the theory. -_-

Then there’s the people who try to be “respectful” but literally do the opposite.

I’ve heard numerous times it’s somehow “less offensive” to just use r*pe imagery to make monsters scary. Rather than have  the monsters have that imagery cause Will created the monsters from his memory/imagination-and st is a story of Will healing from that trauma. SORRY- I disagree. Using the worst experiences of peoples’ lives (and triggering their trauma) for no real purpose- except to make their monsters scarier to the normal/general audience who haven’t gone through it so won’t be triggered like us - is MORE OFFENSIVE to victims! NOT LESS! At least to me.

Then there’s the people who say “c*a should never be talked about (in stories).” Which I disagree with. V*ctims have already been told by ab*ser’s  and enablers of the ab*ser- to never talk about what happened to us  . So it rubs A LOT of us the wrong way when people say this.  Because (subconscious or not) you remind some of us of the people who used to hurt/silence us. People say this -simply for their convenience (like ab*sers) and cause deep down they’re uncomfortable with our existence and equate the despicable act to us the innocent v*ctim ...or just want to deny the horrible reality of the situation (like many enablers who deny the truth and hurt us because they don’t want to accept reality) . And 1) It brings us back to a time where they told us to NEVER talk about it- and makes us feel like we did something wrong when we didn’t! 2) Every psych professional says with-holding/keeping the ab*se a secret is detrimental to our mental health.

Plus, there’s a HUGE difference between sugarcoating/minimizing trauma or WORSE glamorizing, condoning, or romanticizing C*A in stories (ex: pretty little liars) VS showing how the action is wrong, causes trauma, but showing recovery and happiness is still possible for v*ctims.  if the story shows how accurately traumatizing it is (instead of minimizing/glamorizing it)- it’s incredibly rare for that character to get a happy ending. Having a story about recovering from that type of trauma and finding happiness despite such hardships would be amazing for US survivors! We rarely get stories with a happy ending-  it’s more harmful to us survivors to never see ourselves get happy endings in tv/film/books. How can some survivors (in a dark place) think there’s a light at the end of the tunnel- if it’s never shown?Also if Will has DID too- it’s good mental health rep, along with queer rep (and survivor’s rep.) All 3 groups rarely are treated well or get happy endings in media. A lot of people may feel more heard, seen, and a bit more hopeful for the future - If Will (and other characters) get a happy ending.

And even though st has many themes- like say homophobia. To try and hand-wave all the disturbing  r*pe imagery away  as ‘Will is just gay so the monsters are like that”. IS SOOOOOO offensive. Trigger warning for examples. I’m sorry what part of Max saying when Billy had c*nsensual s*x it’s “good screams” but when possessed by the mf he causes Heather to do “bad screams” read as gay???! Having the possessed ch*ke/dr*g people before throwing them in trunks (like it’s implied Lonnie did to Will -since Jonathan checked Lonnie’s trunk for Will in s1)?Tying their arms and legs up/ g*ging  them and  getting on top of them and saying “stay VERY still it’ll all be over soon”-before a monster shoves it’s tentacle into someone’s mouth and inserts a goo - just gay??? Similar to the sentient vine/shadow monster forcing itself down Will’s throat. Let alone Will saying things like “he made me do it”, “i felt it everywhere”, or being tied to a bed and screaming “help! stop! it hurts! let me go!” While Jonathan is the only one who’s visibly triggered by this and has to literally turn away and hug someone . Or barb, billy, and El spiting up a white liquid from their mouth (similar to will spitting up a slug and lying to his mother about it ).El/billy touching a suspicious looking slime with their hand and looking at the substance confused . El drawing Papa with 3 legs (the middle one being shorter) ,  trying to undress in front of the boys , and Benny saying “I think she’s been ab*sed or something”.The theme of ab*sive dads- brenner , Lonnie, and Neil . Even when the demogorgan (called in d&d the “deep father”/ in the show “a man without a face”) attacked Barb it’s chopped up with scenes of Nancy having c*nsensual sex (the monsters are doing the opposite symbolically). There’s way more examples but NO- to try and hand wave /equate ALL OF THIS to just “gay imagery” or an “a*ds metaphor” is WAY more problematic. And just offensive (specifically to gay people) than just admitting what it may actually represent. R*pe imagery and gay imagery is NOT THE SAME THING!

Also ST has never been a kid show- maybe rewatch the show and see the rating of tv-14 . Goodness sake- s1 has a st*ged su*icde, k*dnappings, m*rder, discussions of physics, h*mophobia, and s*x (with stancy in s1 & jancy in s2-s3). S2/3 discuss at their finalies recovering from tra*ma . S2 had gra*ic de*ths,  a man causing a women br*in damage/ and faking her m*scarriage, and a gang of vigalantes k*lling criminals. s3 had critiques on capitalism /media/s*xism, many d*eaths, and questionable imagery like the prior seasons. The Duffers constantly reference  movies & events from the 80s (capitalizing on 80s nostalgia /subverting 80s motifs that middle age people  from that time remember)! Those people were their intended age demographic . Most 80s centric refs go over most kids’ heads (heck a lot went over my head too since I wasn’t alive in the 80s XD).The Duffers even said in the book “worlds turned upsidedown”  “it’s not a kid’s show despite having kids”. And maybe it’s a coincidence but when Lucas in s3 hands Will the “devil’s baby” firework (a hint about Lonnie) he says “18 and over only.” Which idk is a weird/random af line unless it’s foreshadowing that the show will get darker about various themes- and maybe even change ratings.

I get people wishing nothing bad ever happened to Will or Jonathan. And being apprehensive and not trusting the Duffers to do such a story justice (cause it’s difficult to do). But personally i trust them to do so tastefully with tact and not be exp*itative, (overly gr*fic) or offensive to v*ctims. You can disagree and think the show is about something else (or not trust the Duffers)- but it’d be great if people could stop using these other messed up talking points. While trying to appear ‘(fake) woke’ and like they care for victims- cause we see through it that you really don’t.

Have a lovely day anon ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Update- I just really agreed with and appreciate the tags in this reblog

[calicoconstellation]

if you're comfy answering, what does headspace look like? is it a room? house? whole town?

we have a house that i've only seen a few rooms of, but some systems we know have entire universes!

This took a long time to answer because I like to ramble lmao.

We have a few different areas in headspace, and we’re likely going to continue to add on! However we do have some trouble getting into headspace (we can communicate fine without it though) so that’s more of a priority right now than adjusting what’s already there.

The front room is simple, a circular white room that can fit all of us without a whole lot of extra space. The front is a huge glass window, and the windowsill is big enough to sit on. I really want to add something there, since that’s where I spend most of my time and it’s boring AF. Maybe a comfy fluffy rug and cat toys? Idk, we’ll see. Opposite to the front window is a doorway, which leads to the front door of our shared headspace.

Our shared part of headspace is a little cottage. We mostly only use the living room which has a fireplace, comfy chairs, a table by a big window, a piano, and some floor space for dancing (Saffy and I love to dance). Jace and Saffy each have a little room on the first floor, and the entire loft is mine. Saffy’s room has a lot of pastels and flowers, it’s very decorative and aesthetic. Jace’s is simpler and has darker shades of red and purple. I’m very childish, so my room has quite a lot of pink and it’s filled with stuffies (mostly alpaca stuffies), a fluffy white rug, both cat and human child toys, a rocking horse, and more. I haven’t gotten the chance to go in it much, once we get better at this whole switching and accessing headspace thing I intend to spend a lot of time there. Catra doesn’t have his own bedroom in the cottage (but could have one if she wanted one). The cottage also has a kitchen that none of us have gone into yet so we have no idea how it actually looks, and a back door which leads to… somewhere. I don’t know where.

Jace and Saffy and Cat also have their own spaces outside the cottage. Jace’s is literally just void. Like, he just spends most of the day running around in the void. I’m not sure what the appeal is but good for him. Saffy’s right now is a tiny patch of flowers, it’s more common to find her in the cottage or in the front room with me so hers hasn’t been expanded on much. Cat has the most expansive, which is a combination of Bright Moon and the Horde from Etheria. The Horde’s section is no longer run down, it looks as if someone fixed it up and started using that space for another purpose. Cat has some memories of this but isn’t sure what that new purpose was. The brightmoon part is Catra’s room with Adora, which includes that gorgeous waterfall from the future scene from season 5. No one but Cat is allowed in his part of headspace.

Saffy and I also recently discovered we’re really good at creating stuff together. We half accidentally created a huge pavilion surrounded by trees. The pavilion’s got a few tables, and is decorated with fairy lights and flowers. It’s the ideal place to dance together and pretend we’re at some fancy party. It has a very enchanting vibe, though I’m not sure how to capture it in writing.

So yeah, that’s headspace so far! Sorry for the walls of text XD

-Ren

[seyaryminamoto]

Since you're in anniversary mood, I'm sure you have nothing against some spoilery questions xD How will Azula come up with the name of her first baby?? Is she going to get some scars and a new haircut?? Who from the Water Tribe will have the best relationship with Azula and will they be extra careful cause she is Prince Sokka's wife, we all know he is very sensitive ='D

X’D oh, you just love it when I spoil such things...

Aaaalright, here we go! Everyone, read at your own risk xD

Azula’s inspiration for the name of the first baby will come from a very specific place. Ever since I decided Aunt Wu would give Azula a devastating prediction, I intended for it to be vague enough that it could refer to countless hardships Azula will face (and has already faced)... but it’s honestly been, from the get-go, intended to be a prediction for Part 3. I’m actually, as you know, already writing the start of that and... yep, I’ve definitely never written anything darker than this for Azula, in any of my stories.

Thus, the name she chooses for her first child comes from a spark of inspiration brought about by the memory of this prediction: only if she clings to the light will she ever get through the ever-sprawling darkness she’s stuck in. Hotaru is a name that means “firefly”, a reference to a small and fragile light that needs to be protected, but strong and resilient enough to shine through the depths of darkness indeed. I had another option with a much more straightforward name, Hikari, which means “light”... but Hotaru has always been one of my absolute favorite names, and I thought it would be wonderful if Azula chose it for her daughter due to how suitable it is, thematically. And that’s how important our little Hotaru will be, going forward <3

Will Azula have scars? Woah, boy, YES. Long ago I had zero intentions for that, but... by now it’s actually gotten a bit weird for me to proofread chapters before posting because, eh... she already has those scars in the content I’m writing atm aaaaaaaa...!! As for a haircut... I don’t think that will happen? At least, it’s not in the cards at the moment, but we both know some things can change, so who knows xD Still, I can absolutely confirm there won’t be one along the horrific lines of canon’s haircut. If I do have a haircut for her it’ll be a dignified one, I promise.

Who in the Water Tribe would have the best relationship with her...? Damn, that’s difficult to answer xD Kanna is already 100% ready to accept her in her life, she’s very much over most the hostilities and resentment of the war, and as long as Azula is good to her grandson, she will be very happy they’re together. My immediate answer would be her, but then there’s also Hakoda... and there’s a ton of factors at play in Hakoda’s relationship with Sokka and Azula that I hadn’t even thought about until a few weeks ago, factors that will actually make him soooo much more accepting and welcoming of Azula than I ever imagined he could be. Her relationship with those two will be very heartwarming, once she finally meets them.

If you’re talking about the Water Tribe in general, as in, including the characters who weren’t born there... I can certainly say she’ll get along fine with Aang, and her relationship with Zuko really is only going to improve in the future, just as it has been constantly improving since the last arcs of Part 1. She’ll get along with Suki far better than she ever anticipated she would, and she’ll absolutely be Mari’s favorite aunt (this will be thanks to Sokka, on great measure xD). Kino... I’m not 100% sure what relationship she’ll have with him, he’s probably going to be starstruck around her forever but I haven’t pondered their interactions too much xD Either way, despite the beginnings of Part 3 won’t suggest as much, Azula will wind up having a much better relationship with her husband’s family, friends and people than she ever imagined she will.

Lastly... will the tribespeople be extra careful with how they talk about Azula? Well, yes... though some non-Water Tribe people won’t be remotely that intelligent xD That last thing is actually one of the strange things I most look forward to writing in Part 3, Sokka going absolutely feral if anyone, ANYONE, says anything thoughtless about Azula. If anyone thought he’d been feral back in chapter 64, oh boy... this man’s going to be pretty unapproachable in the future, especially to anyone with any hostile feelings towards Azula. Admittedly, though, his tribe will be waaaaay more careful about talking about Azula than everyone else. He’ll definitely appreciate how careful they were once he runs into the sorts of people who aren’t remotely as concerned with respecting him as the Water Tribe is. But yeah, while things won’t go perfectly smoothly once he returns, his people, family and friends will certainly be very cautious whenever they talk about Azula. Sokka won’t really have the strength to explain everything right off the bat, but eventually he’ll find a way to convey what Azula really meant to him, as well as the many great things they achieved together. By then, they’ll understand him a little better and the Tribe’s future relationship with Azula will certainly be smoothed over a lot because of that.