#( HES A KEEPER )

[ruthimages]

[thescarletheiress]

when he's horrendously, horrendously in love with your dreadful face >>>>

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Love is ...

My boyfriend surprising me with a weekend trip to watch a Ukrainian ballet company.

🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

I need to share how the IT guy at work greeted my department on CrowdStrike Blue Screen Friday. Never have I seen a man so shocked by the sight of perfectly functional computers

(They were off during the update)

[mumblesplash]

i say if you’re gonna have the mysterious entities speak in rhyme you might as well commit (EDIT: part 2!)

(posting an unprecedented Part 1 of At Least 3 bc i actually have the entire script and most of the storyboarding for this done already)

[lotus-pear]

ok gayboy

[deadsetobsessions]

He could overlook a lot of things, but this was getting ridiculous. You’d think seasoned vigilantes would have better excuses prepared, but Danny had caught that flash of panic that crossed Tim’s face as Danny came face to face with Tim dragging an unconscious Steph to her designated room in the manor.

“Uh.”

“Danny! Uh, Stephanie brained herself- uh, sliding down the bannisters and- pleasedon’ttellBruce.”

Danny blinks, staring at Tim and then very pointedly, very slowly, turned his head back towards the direction he came from: the main hall… where the bannisters were. He wonders what vigilante hijinks they were trying to hide from B this time.

Tim coughs, trying to inch Stephanie away. “Uh. She was doing… cartwheels?”

Danny let his eyes slowly take in the bruises that were clearly not from “cartwheeling in the mansion” on the both of them. There’s a huge bandaged cut on Steph’s forearm and a giant bruise on the edge of Tim’s jaw. Tim’s face twitches nervously, not that anyone else would have noticed- except Danny has enhanced ghost senses and could feel the panic coming off of his adopted brother.

“You know…” Shit, what does he do? Not knowing would be so much easier if these idiots gave him good excuses! “I don’t think I want to know what you two have been up to… but should I be worried for your, uh, physical health?”

“Nope!”

“… Okay.” He says. Tim opens his mouth to make further excuses but Danny adds quickly, “But don’t tell me, because if Bruce asks, I want plausible deniability.”

Cartwheels, Danny’s ghostly ass. Luckily, this show of doubt reaffirms Tim’s belief that Danny believes them all of the other times. Danny grins inwardly, planning capitalizing on the guilt that flashed over Tim’s face.

“Deal.”

“Want help?” The halfa points at Steph, who’s still being dragged over the carpet by a noodle armed Tim. Danny knows Tim’s strong, he’s a vigilante, but it’s funny watching him pretend to struggle.

“Please. I’m so tired right now.” He looks it too. Danny’s brows furrow with genuine concern when he takes in Tim’s drowned raccoon look. He picks up Steph, firmly removing her from Tim’s suddenly weak grip. Being careful to avoid her injuries, Danny nods at the door to her room. Tim cracks it open and does a little showy gesture towards the inside.

“C’mon, we’ll tuck her in and then I’ll tuck you in.”

“What, you don’t have to do that.”

“If you don’t let me tuck you in and make sure you sleep, I’ll tell Alfred who really accidentally poured boiling hot coffee on his azaleas last week. And I’ll sic Dick on you and tell him you haven’t been sleeping enough.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Tim grumbles. “But fine. It’s really not my fault I’m this tired. A missing spleen is hard to handle, you know.”

“Yeah, missing an organ sucks,” Danny says, shit eating grin hidden long enough to catch the contemplative bloodhound look that passes over Tim’s face.

“Which- uh, which one of your organs is missing?”

“Liver.” Danny says, remembering the flashes of pain. He tilts his head away to hide the grin at Tim’s panicked face.

When he tucks Tim in, he pretends to believe Tim’s sleeping act and left his room while mumbling about the Wayne’s clumsiness and bruises and stocking up on bruise cream. He couldn’t even enjoy Tim’s floundering, this time, worried as he is.

——

“Brother.” Danny half turns his head, just to beam a sunny smile at Cass. He signs an exuberant hello. The halfa hangs up his coat as he addresses his adopted sister.

“Cass! What’s up?”

“Dinner.” She smiles back, signing that Alfred wanted them to the dinning room post haste. The main dining room, because rich people were fruit loops and Batman is totally included. Cassandra looks down and gasps.

What…?

Oh. Fuck. Danny glances down. He genuinely forgot about that.

“Huh.”

“Okay?” Suddenly, Cass is right next to him, hand reached out and hovering over the actual knife Danny forgot was sticking out of him. At least it’s where his liver should be, so he won’t have to pretend.

“Oh. Yeah, I’m good. Don’t have a liver.” Danny decides on the spot that he’s not gonna mess with Cass. She smiled the same as him. “Got mugged on the way back but I think they said I could keep the knife, right?”

“Danny.” She’s frowning at him. He feels like he just kicked tiny Cujo. But he doesn’t feel bad enough to blurt everything out.

“Here. You can have it if you want?” Danny casually pulls out the knife and holds the wound together with his bare hands. Cass looks more alarmed. She bodily picks up Danny and starts running.

“Woah!”

Cass throws him at Alfred, gently.

“Miss Cassandra! Why, I never-!” Alfred pauses in surprise.

“Uh. Wow, Cass. You’re really strong.” Danny pipes up, hand still over his gushing wound.

She ignores him, pointing at Danny and telling Alfred, “Hurt. Got mugged. Dumb.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault Gothamites are ready to jump people at any moment. Besides, it’s daytime. It’s not like the vigilante furries are out to save my butt. I think I did really well coming back safe, you know?”

“Hurt. Forgot the knife. Was in him.”

“Master Danny!”

Danny pouts. He also knows there’s a discreet camera in the corners of the sitting room, so he’s definitely hoping he could phase into the cave when Barbara eventually tells the group that he called them “vigilante furries.”

Alfred clucks his tongue and set to work patching him up. Danny tries not to bask in the careful way Alfred tended to his wounds. It reminds him too much of Jazz, if Jazz was British and a man with greying hair.

But because they were watching him and he was watching them in return, Danny noticed the moment Alfred’s hands stalled and Cass’ gaze got intense. What now…?

Oh, fuck, his vivisection scar. Oops. Danny smiled, channeling Dani (his lovely clone sister) at her most innocent.

Cass smiled back, just as sunnily, fists tightening at her side in repressed fury.

——

“Cass? Why’d you call us?”

“Yeah, baby bat. I got a couple o’ smugglers to talk to.”

Cass paces.

“What is it, Cassandra?” Damian tuts impatiently.

“Danny. Has… scars. Autopsy. But was struggling. When cut.”

“What.”

“A vivisection, Master Jason.” Alfred’s voice was crisp and eerily cold. His hands are folded, rage only held back by his sheer will and a well practiced sense of propriety.

“We find. Who hurt him,” Cass snarls. “We. End.”

Jason’s eyes glint green, hands going to his guns. “Fine. By. Me.”

“It does tie in with the dead comment. I wonder what happened to him.” Tim clacks away at the bat computer, furiously looking into the matter already. Bruce has taken to prowling, stressed out at the prospect of one more of his children- not a vigilante at that- getting hurt the way Jason had. Worse, even. A vivisection. He was alive, dissected. Aware enough to struggle. Dick looked like he was torn about hunting down and lunging at whoever hurt Danny to rip their throats out with his bare teeth versus the urge to go back up to the manor and wrap Danny in bubble wrap.

In the corner, Danny was having a quiet breakdown because he came here to watch them react to vigilante furries, not offering to murder the people who vivisected him. What the fuck?? He ran his hands through his hair, invisible.

——

“Oh, by the way, we should consider more daytime shifts.”

“Why?” Spoiler asks Barbara.

“Danny got mugged. And called us the nightly furries.”

“The fuckin’ what-?” Jason chokes out, laughing. Bruce stops his pacing, body language becoming slightly offended.

Danny muffles a laugh only Alfred would have heard.

[saturdaysky]

Gale of Minrathous

Dragon Age AU where Gale is a Tevinter magister who accidentally infected himself with red lyrium. He's found a way to halt the lyrification. Mostly.

More tidbits:

Devout Andrastian with a bit of Leliana's "the Maker speaks to me" thing going, except it's "Andraste—so obviously a mage btw, I have 5000 words prepared and ready to go on this topic—sings to me, magic prodigy"

"therefore I am sure to be the one to unlock the secrets of this powerful, strange new lyrium that is singing to m—oh. golly. that went poorly"

joins the inquisition after he emerges from isolation and his former peers have all become Venatori. If his own folly has emptied the sand from his hourglass, why not spend the little time that remains to him serving Andraste's chosen?

0 moral qualms about blood magic except that all participants must be willing. All magic is neutral—its use determines whether it is good or bad

Tara is his possessed cat, who has lived far longer than a cat should, but Gale isn't complaining. who says abominations can't like chin scritches

talks about Minrathous, a lot

would break open the heavens to see the throne of the Maker, just for the experience

Final AU thoughts under the cut!

what the magisterium doesn't want you to see:

the staff that I know, deep in my heart, Gale uses and insists is artistic:

[geneticallymodifiedidiot]

“Even Dex” is BRUTAL

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[yeyinde]

no honestly the worst part of trying to cannibalise simon would be that i know his freak ass is so into it. you bite him as a joke and he’s grabbing the back of your head and pushing it into his arm harder to make the imprints of your teeth deeper. he goes to work and johnny asks him why the fuck it looks like he was fighting zombies from the last of us and simon’s like i have a pup at home who’s teething. and he’s soooo mean about biting you back, he makes them bruise and then flicks them when they hurt just to be mean :( he matches my freak in my head sorry

don't apologise. this is. everything to me, actually. because a pup at home that's teething???? ahhhh i'm gonna be sick!!!!!! 😭 the way he'd look at you too. when his eyes get all flat and dark, heavy lidded. he's amused, yeah, but you've done something here. woke something up.

his little "bite harder, birdie. lets leave a scar" all low and brassy would send me over the edge. makes a game of it to see how many scars you can leave. and him being aggressive with you too is just perfect. keeps biting the same spot over and over again until you can feel the indents of his teeth long after it's healed over. something to remind you of him, he says, and you give up mentioning normal things, like jewellery or trinkets because you like seeing your teeth marks on the side of his neck a little too much to keep pretending.

but it's all fun and games until he takes your ring finger into maw and bites down right at the last knuckle. it's only when he does the same with his, pushing it into your mouth with a heavy gaze and purring out a deceptively calm, even now bite me birdie, that you realise what it means.

[torglives]

its never been more over.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4: Deranged Bedfellows

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.5)

[maqui-chan]

imagine there's a local league in town where coed teams are allowed so here they are (ok i was very haikyuu pilled and instead of drawing haikyuu fanart i draw dol playing volleyball)

[piratefishmama]

Eddie Munson making bank on being a 'Rent a weirdo to piss off your parents' guy. He shows up, behaves exactly like himself sometimes, and other times if himself isnt working he'll up the ante and get creative, but he earns his money.

and Steve Harrington who's sick of his parents trying to throw people at him, both women and men, he's in desperate need of a break from it all/

His parents were horrifically supportive when he in a fit of desperation to stop them from throwing more awful women at him, came out as bi, okay, he said he was gay but when they were supportive he adjusted to Bisexual because he actually was bisexual and there was no point lying if his parents were just going to switch it up and throw men at him instead.

John the tennis club owners son was lovely but no.

So he hires Eddie for a 'week long chalet get away', it's Dustin's idea. Eddie's his friend and Dustin vouches for him.

"Just. Pretend to be my boyfriend for the week. You get a free rich people vacation out of it."

"Usually i'm more of a one and done kinda guy, Harrington, you think i'm not up to freakin them out in one go?"

"Freaking them-- no, i need a week of them not trying to set me up with someone, they wont if they think i'm dating, is that okay?"

"... Not my usual schtik but what's the worst that could happen?"

Whats the worst indeed.

[berrysquared]

Alright then keep your secrets