#( % : connections * yura )

[buttercup-barf]

Me when the most precious person to me, my only family, is actively putting themself in danger, all because of their stubborn refusal to see that my way is the right way.

[walkingintheamm]

so I haven't read the manhwa or anything but I'm starting to think both jiwon and jihyuk got a second chance in life because they both saved this cat's life... jiwon by feeding it and jihyuk by jumping in front of a car to save it and then keeping him... and it all happened just a few months after jiwon's father's death, and now seeing the cat covered in cherry blossom petals which were also the trees jiwon drove by in the taxi with her dad right before she died

[77ngiez-archive]

stalker sanya is canon btw bcs i said so

[nopanamaman]

How does the stalker business work?

Loredump. October 2023

A web of alliances, insiders, clients, and territorial disputes - this is what forms the stalker business, a domain that’s as illegal as it is profitable.

Today, we’ll delve into the basic origins and inner workings of this peculiar profession. Let’s find out how these glorified marauders operate!

How did the stalker business develop?

The stalker business emerged almost as soon as the Zone itself was born. But, much like every structure based around the Zone itself, it became more refined - and more corrupt - as years went on.

What started as individuals travelling the Zone completely on their own accord grew into a network of organised groups with their own informants, clientele and designated territories. Yet when it looked like major alliances had become fully solidified with a couple of large groups operating across vast stretches of the Zone, the development of the internet put a dent in the system.

Yura: Do I really need to know the territorial policies of 70s factions Sergei: YES Olya: No.

As many information-gathering and order-related operations moved online, doing business in smaller groups became a more viable option. Nowadays, the majority choose to operate in gangs of up to 30 people.

Since the business has grown more decentralised and, in a way, accessible, the competition within it has increased dramatically. Territories are less clearly defined and run-ins with members of rivalling gangs are commonplace. When it comes to the human factor, it’s more dangerous than it ever was.

How are the little groups organised?

Modern stalker groups are typically formed around somebody who has direct connections to potential clients or those able to nicely aggregate information about the Zone’s current state. So any group needs at least one product reseller and one strategic leader, which can sometimes be the same person.

The latter is true for Sergei's group, for instance.

He is responsible for processing orders, evaluating the delivered artefacts, reselling them, gathering up to date information about the Zone’s landscape and traffic, and helping the available stalkers plan their trips accordingly. It’s a heavy workload, so having just one person performing all of those tasks wouldn’t be manageable on a larger scale.

Obviously enough, smaller groups are more reliant on the quality of their individual members, even more so when they have a specific role to fill. If we use known members of Sergei’s group as examples, they fit pretty neatly into the following roles:

Radar (радар). Formerly fulfilled by Kolya – a stalker with an outstanding sense for anomalies. Irreplaceable for navigating the more treacherous parts of the Zone. Yura was going to inherit that role.

Doctor (доктор). Self-explanatory. While it’s recommended that all stalkers undergo some form of first aid training, it never hurts to have someone with a deeper knowledge of medicine on the team. This role was filled by Nikita.

Insider (свояк). As the name suggests, it’s a person that helps in various aspects of stalker work by providing client contacts, guard post information, info about other gangs’ operations, and so on depending on their position. Insiders don’t usually take part in actual trips or even work with specific stalker groups, but Olya is built different.

Ram (таран). The muscle of the group. You don’t need to be especially physically fit to navigate the Zone,but when things become dire, it absolutely helps. This was Sergei’s role when he still travelled the Zone.

These are arbitrary designations and many don’t fit into one particular role. That said, creating a balanced group of 3 is easier when there’s a fair understanding of each person’s strengths.

Yura: Oh, kinda like video game classes! Sanya: Yeah, I guess. Yura: So who would I be? Sanya: Support.

What does the typical work cycle look like?

An order is either placed on an online marketplace or is mailed directly to a trusted trader. The trader then passes the information to the strategist, who analyses the current Zone layout, as well as the latest available information about the placements of various artefacts and anomalies.

The strategist then determines the optimal routes to retrieving the ordered goods. Some use special software to aid in the process. The service price is then estimated based on the difficulty of retrieval and transportation. If the initial price suggested in the order is lower than this estimate, price negotiations will ensue.

Once the minimal price is agreed on, the actual planning starts. A group of three is gathered from the pool of available stalkers. They are all informed about the mission specifics and the route they need to travel - this is when the team can discuss and make adjustments to the plan.

Nikita: No, no, this route will be way too stressful for Olyechka. Perhaps, she should sit this one out? Olya: If we don't make this route shorter, Nikita won't come back, I'm afraid. Nikita: Well, aren't you a treat. Anyways, Serozha, my leg has been getting worse and I won't make this climb. Olya: Perhaps, you should sit this one out.

After the artefacts are delivered to the trader, their quality is evaluated. Stalkers tend to pick up whatever valuables they find on the way, which means extra cash for them and more work for the trader.

Once the evaluation is complete, stalkers are paid off and the products are resold at a significantly higher price. The artefacts that were specifically ordered are exchanged for the agreed upon amount of money and the extra stuff is peddled to other high-paying customers.

Since selling artefacts is a risky and complicated endeavour in itself, most stalkers are content with the paychecks they get from their trader.

Finally, when everything is done, stalkers may anonymously share information about their trip to the online community. But considering the competitive nature of the business, not everyone is willing to help out their fellow colleagues – or really, not everyone wants to talk about the things they’ve seen.

What is the online stalker community like?

As was already mentioned, the internet has majorly changed how stalkers went about receiving orders and information about the Zone. It has become an important channel for communication and securing deals.

Firstly, all of the relevant platforms are on the deep web. Secondly, all of them are invite-only.

The three major platforms are:

Doska (literally “the board” as in bulletin board)

A marketplace where orders are placed and taken up by anyone interested, as well as an auction platform for selling off artefacts. Widely used by groups and stalkers who have not yet gained established clients.

Krematorii (crematorium)

A closed forum. Discussions, rumours, shitposting.

10K Crematorium karma

14KKM (as in 14 thousand kilometers, the approximate area of the Zone)

A dynamically updated map of the Zone. User-managed, hence chaotic and unreliable.

Users can mark locations of witnessed anomalies and artefact positions, which others can confirm or downvote. A marking needs to be confirmed by at least 4 people before it is put down and is removed if at least 4 people downvote it. All markings can be commented on.

Most of the community tries to maintain it more or less accurately for the sake of their own future missions, but there are malefactors that will add false markers to it. Should be taken with a huge grain of salt.

Of course, it bears mentioning that there are plenty of fake online communities on the surface web. Those are rife with people roleplaying as stalkers, scammers, kids, and just shitposters. No actual stalker uses those for business.

Rules regarding the Zone

Though the information side of things has changed a lot, the core methodology of travelling the Zone itself remained the same. Sets of universal rules became solidified over the years, which can be described as a mixture of operational protocols and esoteric beliefs.

What are the basic operational protocols?

Basic operational protocols outline best practices for dealing with simple anomalies, traversing the Zone, bypassing guard posts, and handling difficult situations (mercy kills, painless death, encountering other stalkers).

Some common recommendations include:

use projectiles (usually bolts with pieces of cloth attached for visibility) to check for gravitational anomalies;

operate in groups of three - two do the job, the third one watches on;

do not consume any food or drinks you find;

avoid unnatural shadows;

do not stay at the Hollow for over 20 minutes (your body will start to decay);

do not approach the Town (your body will permanently distort);

do not handle fizzy clay without rubber gloves (will leave you debilitated or addicted to the substance);

always send the draisine back;

don't photograph ghosts;

etc.

They are objective results of many years of trial and error. Going against them is likely to end in death or injury regardless of your personal qualities. In other words, there is little dispute over the validity of these rules. The same cannot be set for the second ruleset.

What are stalker beliefs?

The Zone favours the miserable. The desperate, the broken, the lonely. The Zone favours ones that are willing to give up their whole being to her, to completely entrust themselves to her whims. She rewards dejection.

These are common truths to some and hogwash to others. There is no solid proof for any of these claims - how can there be? However, there is no happy stalker, and there is no living stalker without a scar. To many, that's evidence enough.

On top of that, there are some group-specific philosophies. They include:

the Zone is a holy place that needs to be revered;

the Zone is an ulcer of the world that needs to be cleansed;

the Zone is the new stage of Earth’s evolution;

the Zone is divine punishment;

the Zone is a point of contact with a parallel universe;

and many others.

These philosophies dictate how people go about their activities in the Zone in a more ritualistic sense. It’s hard to devise whether or not those little rituals have any effect that isn’t purely psychological.

There is a good number of people that hold a purely cynical view of the Zone. But whether they admit it or not, everyone gradually develops a sense of fear and reverence for it. How they compartmentalise it is a different question.

Conclusion

I could write more about the topic, but as of now, I think this general outline should suffice. The stalker business is a multifaceted enterprise to say the least, so hopefully this article has shed the light on its most essential aspects.

Perhaps, there will one day be a more in-depth follow-up! Who knows. As we continue to unveil the enigmatic layers of the Zone, only time will reveal the full extent of its mysteries... And the engimatic layers of shitty Stalker forums, I guess.

[fuedalreesespieces]

Inuyasha & Demisexuality

i think halfway into writing this i thought about just cramming all my thoughts into a semi-coherent rant due to a combination of a.) lack of access to decent translations of the manga and b.) paranoia about over-analyzing scenes and coming off as delusional (i think by now it's probably too late to thwart that claim) buuut this headcanon in particular is near and dear to me so i want to try and get as in depth as possible.

what is demisexuality?

in simple terms, demisexuality is when an individual doesn't experience primary attraction - that is, the sort of attraction based on immediate observable (often physical) characteristics - and instead only experiences secondary attraction first: the type of attraction that forms after the development of a deep emotional bond.

inuyasha and kikyo

this aforementioned term perfectly describes inuyasha and his relationships with the only women he's ever loved romantically. you could make the claim that his inability to feel primary attraction first stems from his trust issues and not inherent sexual orientation. and to that, i would disagree - he and kikyo develop an emotional bond despite an unspoken lack of trust, which may have improved had naraku not meddled in their lives. still, both find solace in each other's similarities, loneliness, and "outlier" status (though the similarities are in isolation only, if i'm being completely honest) and establish a connection that persists post-revival.

inuyasha eventually did start to feel primary attraction to kikyo during their time together - in the second chapter of the manga, when he compares kagome to her, he states that kikyo "looked pretty."

[source - viz. i haven't been in this fandom long, but what i've gathered is that there are a lot of mis-translations of this manga, even from viz. since i have yet to buy physical copies of the manga and don't have an account for the site, i'm going to be using fan-scans for the rest of these, which hopefully won't really affect what i'm trying to convey since i'll be looking at character expressions rather than dialogue for most of them.]

i'd also note the order in which he lists those traits: kikyo looked intelligent and pretty. her intelligent appearance is the first part of her he remembers, which i think underscores his priorities in this regard. he values things like intelligence and companionship - facets that come to light when developing secondary attraction towards someone - more than aspects of primary attraction.

inuyasha and kagome

as mentioned before, demisexuals don't feel physical attraction before establishing a tight emotional bond. the most blatant examples i could think of this were any instances in which inuyasha sees kagome nude and his difference in reaction - in particular, during the yura of the hair and togenkyo arcs, which are roughly seventy-three chapters apart. there are two new moons in that time, and from that we can say at least two months have passed.

chapter six: yura of the hair

kagome's bathing below him, and i'm sorry, but this expression literally screams "zero fucks given." he does not care in the slightest. not a blush. not a spot of red on his cheeks. not a sweatdrop. not a tee-hee. if i were to describe what he's feeling in this moment i would say "extreme ire." when she uses the sit command on him, it's on the assumption that he's "peeking," but kaede understands that it's actually because inuyasha is trying to steal a shard of the shikon jewel.

"huh?" - he sounds genuinely confused that she reached that conclusion, even though he was quite literally peering over the cliff's edge in what obviously has very perverse connotations. it's almost like he doesn't understand why kagome would think his actions come from a place of sexual attraction because that sort of thing just isn't on his mind at all, and he doesn't get why it would be in the first place.

another extremely blatant example can be see in miroku's introductory chapter: chapter 51, the delinquent priest:

do i even have to say anything. this scene also further emphasizes my previous point - before, the only reason he was there was to try and steal kagome's jewel shard. if his true intentions had been driven by primary attraction, this would have been an opportune moment to "peep." in his words, however, he just isn't interested. note that he could have said something along the lines of "i wouldn't do something like that" (which, if he was attracted to her in that way from the start, wouldn't have done anyway) but specifically i'm not interested. the primary attraction is not there in the slightest. at least, not until:

chapter eighty two: fateful night in togenkyo

the scene i'm talking about needs no introduction, but for context: kagome's half-freaking out after having woken up in a sake bath. inuyasha breaks down the door to come and rescue her, accidentally seeing her naked in the process. well, i'm sure his reaction won't be that dif-

...it's only one panel-

okay, two-

i think at this point it's fairly obvious that primary attraction has developed. besides the fact that he's spent three panels trying not to look like he's having a quasi allergic reaction, it's been approximately two months since they've met, and by now they've definitely formed the deep emotional bond required for him to begin feeling any primary attraction at all. in fact, the chapter where he tells kagome "there's no replacement for you" - that chapter, where he's vulnerable and honest and opening up to her, strengthening their bond further, (ch. 78, a tender smell) is directly before the togenkyo arc begins, and, thus, just before these scenes occur. these chapters have all been building up secondary attraction, and now that primary attraction is just starting to show up.

several chapters later we have this iconic panel from 173:

this is such a look of awe, as though he's gazing up at a goddess. jaw dropped, eyes-wide, words trailing off awe. he's entranced. fully head-over-heels in love, feeling both primary and secondary attraction in regards to kagome, and this trend only continues throughout the entirety of the manga.

conclusion + extra thoughts

my belief in this headcanon comes from not just the evidence depicted above, but because i just related a ton reading those scenes. i found myself just nodding along (as someone who's demisexual themselves!) plus, since ace-spectrum representation is so rare, it's nice to see it reflected in a character whose story and relationships i love dearly.

tags: @nightshade-lullaby

[yuseirra]

Onk Chapter 159 review~

(a small comic for starters :) either way, Ai will still kick his butt)

yes, I had been spoiled; yes, and I actually like it, as much as it leaves at a cliffhanger and leaves you in confusion(why is this comic always like this) The way it ends is indeed, quite shocking, isn't it? But I think I understand where it's coming from.

I honestly won't have a clue on just what this story is going to be unless it's not going to be like what I write here; If that's so, then I'll just sit back and just.. let the story run along after this~ I'm pretty confident, for now though!!

The development in this current episode aligns with the interpretation I initially had back when I hopped onto the series, right after 153-154. It feels like I've been reset XD

It's pretty good, right? It's entertaining and well done. There is no need to fuss whether "Kamiki is evil!!" or "He's the final boss!", at least not right now, that'd be determined in the following eps. but for now, I think I have an idea of what it's trying to convey.

He DOES look super evil in that last panel (I keep staring at it for how ridiculous he looks)but let's look into the things that are being discussed for now-

Judging by the reaction he has, Kamiki never stopped loving Ai. The reaction in chapter 154 and the current one can coexist as emotional responses.

But it seems that after Ai died, Kamiki did a lot.

It actually matches really well with the interpretation I made after reading chapter 154 for the first time! I mean this comic I drew. I thought I might have went a bit overboard with it for awhile, for Kamiki's actions after that chapter felt milder than that, but now that 159 is out, it... seems pretty similar.

Sometimes, the first answer you pick on a test is the correct one, right? I laughed...perhaps I should trust my initial feelings about things more...they may tend to be the most accurate.

He has this, "I'm already beyond hope now, I can't be saved" vibe to him. And I saw this coming all along, I kept wondering just what is it that he'd have done. It's been pretty vague except for that case with Yura, right? (To be honest, the one death that bothers me a lot is Gorou's. Did Nino and Ryosuke kill him?? Why did Gorou die?? I really hope Kamiki wasn't involved with that case because that leads to really weird sorts of conclusions... killing the doc that helped deliver his own children;;; I hope it's just Ryosuke and Nino that's played a part there)

Judging by how he reacts to Aqua, he does have paternal love, and Kamiki’s attitude towards his children is consistently kind and gentle. His way of speech is...I've been sent the leaks in another language right..; I can tell. He speaks in a really.. kind and gentle way. Even in that last panel as well. He's so tender with his way of speaking when he talks towards his kids, so much like the lyrics of Mephisto (how the song is like as it ends) I feel like he is, or at least used to be, a sweet person. Talking to his fully grown son like that.

It seems like he genuinely wants to watch his daughter's performance. I feel Kamiki cherishes and cares for Aqua and Ruby. As for whether he would go so far as to harm the children to save Ai... I think the chances of that are low. Ai’s judgment seems correct, and if Kamiki had married Ai and lived with her, he would have been a kind and gentle father to their children.

At the same time, though, he thinks it's too late to save himself now. The attitude he has feels like self-mockery or despair. He's a bit out of vigor, in my opinion(aside from that last panel).

The key is figuring out what exactly the "lies" he told was.

Judging by Aqua's reaction, Kamiki’s involvement in Ai’s death should be minimal. If it weren’t, there should be some anger connected to the mention of Ai’s name as Aqua brought it up. For example, "Ai trusted you until the end, she wanted you to help you, but you made her die!" Because it's very natural, right? If Kamiki killed the very person who wanted to help him, it's natural to bring that up as you mention the "help".

But that’s not the case. Instead, Aqua's reaction is something like, "I’m supposed to help you, as Ai said, but you’ve been telling this 'ugly lie for your own sake' so I can’t."

I think that, to evoke this kind of response, Kamiki must have done a lot after Ai’s death, thinking he was doing it for her, but deep down, he knew it was a lie he told himself all along, and Aqua is calling him out on it.

It doesn’t seem like Kamiki killed someone with the thought that "no one can outshine Ai" (that would be really stupid;;), but rather, that he made sacrifices because he wanted to save Ai or bring her back to life. In that case, what Aqua is saying here translates to: "Hey, would Ai have wanted that? That was a crazy thing you did for your own sake and pleasure, thinking 'Ai would want to live' or 'Ai would want to reunite with the kids in any way possible.' You know that's NOT what she has ever wanted, but you lied to yourself convincing it would all be okay as long as it came true. That makes you an ugly liar."

If Kamiki did kill someone, Aqua really should report him to the police instead of meeting one-on-one. Report him, for crying out loud! Why doesn't he do that in 155 and why doesn't he try to do it now, either? He just walks up to him and starts a conversation. Didn't he figure things out with Akane earlier? Can't they just turn those pieces of evidence they found to the police if they have them?

So... that's why I’m not sure if what Kamiki did actually involved killing someone... Maybe Aqua didn’t report it or he can't because there wasn’t enough evidence? Yura is dead, that's a fact, but well, we know now for sure that Kamiki did not play a part in Ryosuke's death(who cares about him but yeah), and if he isn't the one who's killed Gorou (the one who did it is Ryosuke and Nino is his acquaintance so I think there's low chance?;) Maybe he didn't kill Yura either. He says it's his fault but at this point, I don't think he's the one that's responsible for Ai's death. There is a reason I'm saying this, stay with me for a while, okay? But he's still done something that Aqua deems as a "selfish lie".. I just don't know how severe this guy can get and what he's done but I guess he's done some terrible things...

Moving on, I don't think this character would hurt Ruby or Aqua or anyone else at this point. (Although... who knows; if he feels like he has nothing to lose, he might...) It seems like he intended to end his life to offer as the final tribute, and Aqua came to stop him. (Like, Aqua came to him to "save him" on Ai''s behalf. He didn't say he's come to "punish him" for his misdeeds... so I think it's safe to say Aqua's come to save his butt) It might tie into the supernatural elements that pop up occasionally, like when Kamiki mentioned the "gods" in chapter 147 or talked about no longer needing to offer "sacrifices." There were many intriguing and important things mentioned in that chapter.

It seems like Kamiki thinks he’s done wrong, but he can’t stop himself from continuing on the path he was, so he wants his children to kill him or get revenge on him.

Nino is truly crazy... It's unhealthy to be fixated like that on just one single person... I don’t want to think too deeply about it because it’s not something I want to empathize with. I don’t wish to feel any pity. If I were to analyze it deeply, I could, but this is the kind of dark human psyche I don’t want to delve into because it takes energy and I don't feel it's that worth it. It's already been displayed so well in this chapter, and it's creepy and perfect as it is so I don't think it needs further explanation, she's just as I pictured her to be and even.. damp and scarier in eerily realistic ways.

If I were Ai, I’d grab Nino by the collar and ask, "Nino-chan, Why are you doing this to me? Why are you like this? What did I ever do to deserve this?" what the heck...poor Ai. it's too much. She's scary.

Ryosuke is out of his mind, and what has Ichigo been doing all this time if he knew something?... Perhaps he needed solid evidence and wished to catch her when she took action? But...; I really wish Ichigo did better when Ai was still alive if he knew what was going about with Nino and Ryosuke and Ai......

So, was Kamiki the one who made Ryosuke and Nino "that way"...(as in, hopelessly insane about Ai)?

No, that's not how it's going to go.

Looking at his past, there’s no big reason or motive for Kamiki to have done something like that and I don't think he could have coerced them to feel that way about Ai, they brought it upon themselves; (Honestly, I'm curious, what’s the connection between him and Nino and Ryosuke? At this point, I feel like they did not have any particular connection before Ai's death, at this point)

Kamiki clearly recognizes that Ai is just a normal girl who has cruel and selfish sides (this is a strong difference from Nino and Ryosuke). I'm not sure when he formed that idea, but he is at least aware of that, as he's doing whatever he's been doing.

That means, if Kamiki decided to take some extreme actions "for Ai", it wouldn’t have been because of some superficial motive like wanting Ai to be perfect or the best idol(Ryosuke and Nino's actions fall here) . Instead, it would have stemmed from a more practical desire, like wanting Ai to come back or get closer to her. For Kamiki, Ai isn’t a fantasy; she’s real. She’s a person he loves. That’s why the song Mephisto and Fatal suits him. Kamiki doesn’t need Ai to be an invincible idol; he just wants the person he loves to be alive.

So, tying it into the theme of this manga, I come to the conclusion that:

It wasn’t a single person like Kamiki who made Ryosuke and Nino the way they are, but rather, the public’s expectations of Ai.

This connects to the story explored in the movie arc, where people expected Ai to be the invincible idol, leading her to lie and conceal her weak self completely.

If my interpretation is correct... this is where the story is heading.

From the start, there was no such thing as an evil mastermind or anything like that. What happened to Ai was always the result of a fan’s twisted desire for their idol to be flawless, and the public's expectation of idols reinforcing such a behavior.

In reality, it’s Ryousuke and Nino who are insane, but the culture or fervor that creates such crazy people isn’t entirely absent in this world. That seems to be the point being made.

I mentioned this in a previous post: (it's paraphrased and condensed)

"But more than that, I think the main focus of this work and the message it's trying to give is: "Even celebrities are just people in the end"... Ultimately, that's it."

This is... probably it.

If you look at it that way, Kamiki is someone who was separated from the person he loved due to such malice (if Ai and Kamiki weren’t celebrities, they would have stayed together after having the kids and lived happily... What made Kamiki’s life miserable, and brought Ai to believe it'd hurt him less if she broke up with him was the dark side of the entertainment industry. After all, the pain he went through in his entertainment career was too much, and even afterward, they couldn’t reunite despite their feelings for each other because Ai was too successful as an idol. I think that’s why they couldn’t be together). In that sense, Kamiki is almost like the biggest victim of the entertainment industry in the story because not only did he suffer from it all his life, he ultimately lost the very person he loved because of it. Ai was an idol, so there was social pressure and expectations that she shouldn’t have kids or a boyfriend. That’s why they couldn’t stay together...

Kamiki, having his life destroyed by the dark side of the entertainment industry, and upon he lost the one person he loved, Ai, ended up doing a lot of things in desperation to bring her back and see her again. That’s what's going on about in the songs Fatal and Mephisto.

We haven’t seen exactly what he's been doing in the story, but I think the songs fill that narrative. "The gathering of light"... "finding things to fill in what's missing"...

Kamiki just wants to see Ai again. He wants to see her, but he doesn’t think Ai would love him or want to meet him, so he wished for her to come back to life, and when that didn’t work, he tried to get closer to her himself.

His true feelings were that he loved Ai sincerely and only had eyes for her.

But if what he did involve needing someone else’s life to achieve that goal (and the songs do suggest that...), that’s terrifying. Lol

Ai wanted Kamiki to be saved... If there really is a sliver of chance of such things to be a possibility, what he's done should not be that extreme. Kamiki does seem to think he's beyond saving, though.

I made an analysis earlier that he may be lying to appear as evil as he can be to persuade Aqua into believing he should just die there, and that he isn't worth saving... this was before I saw the actual images, but that could be the case too. if he's really planning to give himself away as a sacrifice of some sort or die to bring Ai back/reach her, then I guess it'd make sense for him to appear as menacing and horrible as possible so that his boy wouldn't have to care about him. He IS a liar and he IS a genius actor. He wants to do something for Ai, and I think that still stands. He said he'd do it in 155 - if that means it takes his life to do so, he'd still, definitely go through with it.

We’ll probably find out what he did all along within the next 10 chapters. I also think that the manga now needs to address the stars and the gods;; The idea that Ai became a star was mentioned directly, and Tsukuyomi was also brought up. The stars were beautifully shining during the B-Komachi concert, right? It feels like Ai is giving her blessing. If my guesses about this series is correct, Kamiki should mention stuff along the lines of the supernatural when talking about his motives. I think Kamiki tried to bring Ai back to life. If he hadn’t had that hope, I feel he would have followed Ai long ago. He doesn’t seem particularly attached to his own life. That means there must have been something that gave him that sort of hope. The songs imply something like it. It's made Kamiki believe Ai could come back to life...

I wonder if Kamiki can be saved. The fact that Aqua even brought the idea of helping the guy may mean there still might be a chance. Otherwise, Aqua would just throw him in jail; there’d be no point in talking to him like this, even if it's Ai's wish. Impossible things are still impossible.

But it’s true that Kamiki really fell apart after Ai died. Whether he’s just a pitiful guy or a victim who became a perpetrator (the latter seems more likely...sadly), we’ll have to wait and see.

To be continued, I guess.

That character’s life was truly miserable, but if he ruined other people’s lives, then he should still be punished for that.

Still, In the end, it seems like everything will turn out as Ai wanted, so I’m looking forward to seeing how much Aqua can fulfill Ai’s wishes.

It was a good chapter! :)

Come to think of it, in my analysis of Ai (this was written wayy back in June, when ch 152 was fresh) , I wrote something like this:

Ai didn't want to get back together with her ex because she wanted to continue being an idol. She couldn't have a public relationship. But I think she wanted to show her kids to him because she gained a little bit of courage while raising them. That she could show her real self. When you look at a Ai, you can infer she has a lot welled up. They had always hidden themselves, and now they have "secrets" that are not just their own, living, that grow with time. She's always had vicious circle that led to self-hatred from all the lies she'd been creating, which led to anger and stress…and it was this close to being let out through the movie. Maybe that's why Aqua believes making movies is for her. It's to fulfill her desire to be freed from the lies.

This might have hit the mark. The reason it has to be a movie is because of this… if it was only Kamiki, he could have just been shown the video Ai left, but-

Aqua’s “revenge” has to be fulfilled through a movie because Ai’s situation was caused by the public’s perception of her.

If people had accepted the real Ai as a person, twisted individuals like Ryosuke wouldn’t have appeared, and Ai wouldn’t have had to lie to the person she so dearly wanted to love. If… If only Ai had survived, I think Kamiki could have reunited with her after the movie was released. Because people would have understood and accepted their circumstances. Ai would never have had to die because she had children - for being imperfect and human, as she is.

This is not a story about a psychopathic murderer getting back at his ex-girlfriend or just one crazy fan attacking their idol, it's tackling a much bigger theme than that.

So no, this isn't going to be about Kamiki being the crazy mastermind, quite the contrary. He's the one who's lost his beloved due to a societal belief that idols have to be perfect and flawless. He's the one who desperately wants to get her back after having lost her.

When I think about it, it’s really heartbreaking. Ai and Kamiki could have been happy, for sure. They really could have had it weren't it for this, I feel.

The public isn’t always so cold, so I think Ai might have wanted to take that risk��

++ Oh, wow… Aqua showed up wearing the exact outfit from the Mephisto video!

Then, if my thoughts are correct, the next chapter, or at least within a few chapters, should reveal more about the Fatal/Mephisto storyline in the series. Those songs aren’t Aqua’s, they’re Kamiki’s.

+++ Didn't mention but Kamiki looks even younger than Aqua in that last panel, he looks kinda adorable in a very freaky way. Ai didn't mention his looks for nothing.. he still has it over the age of thirty...

yeah, I'll believe in him for just a little longer. I really hope the next chapter continues where it left off and just TELL US what he's been up to for once. This chapter is 159 so I guess it'd be the last ep of a volume, Yeah, that'd definitely make people wish to buy the next copy

but I really want answers at this point, stop the taunts.

If Mephisto and Fatal ain't the story of this guy then tbh, nothing would make sense to me about this guy nor the story. Aside from the fact that it matches his characteristics and lores in a perfect sense, it's just a really strong hunch I get. The moment I first heard Fatal, I knew it had to be it. I can't explain how it happens but I just know what it's supposed to imply. So there!

Till next week!

[aihoshiino]

chapter 162 thoughts!

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 19

Aqua Hoshigan Status: uh oh, gamers

damn they dragged his ass right to hell, huh

I was perhaps overly optimistic in expecting an immediate resolution to last chapter's setup. It's becoming increasingly clear that this handful of chapters covering the Aqua-Hikaru confrontation are intended to be read in one go but because I am pedantic I will continue to review them one by one <3 This chapter very much has all the same issues as the previous chapter without quite as many of the things I liked pulling it up, but Mengo's art is back to going absolutely crazy and I got to see 2.5 new panels of Hoshino Ai so who can say whether it was a good or bad chapter.

Like last time, we're starting with Hikaru again and… basically everything I said I didn't like about this handling of him is still the case but with this almost definitely being his final appearance with no more opportunities to explain anything about him, it really sucks that the note we seem to be ending on is just "damn, bitch be crazy". Given that Tsukuyomi mentioned his previously 'noble soul' last chapter, I was really hoping we might get some sort of flashback or Hikaru POV giving some proper context to his actions but all we got this chapter was him being like "ughh i miss ai. GOD i love killing people" which is, uh, underwhelming as a final note for an antagonist like Hikaru to go out on, to say the least

The thing is, I didn't need or expect Hikaru to be totes 100% an innocent bean or anything like that (ch109 looms large), but if he was going to be the final boss like this, I wanted his antagonism to come from somewhere, to have any kind of connecting thread with the story's themes or to at least tell us interesting things about him both in coming to understand where his behavior came from and why he went down this path. But we don't know anything about Hikaru, really - we know facts about his life but as person and a character in a story, our image of him is shockingly unclear. As far as the story seems to be concerned, he came into existence as an 11yo boy being abused by Airi, blipped out of reality when Ai broke up with him and then idk digivolved back into society into a guy from a yandere otome game when Ai died. Like, how in god's name did Hikaru go from the boy we see being broken up with as a teenager to… whatever the fuck this is? How did he start killing? Why? What is it about killing that makes him feel Ai's supposed presence? And most importantly - why does he pursue killing Ruby as his means of achieving this when the narrative is doing everything it can to convince us she's Ai 2.0 and therefore a living person in whom Hikaru should be able to feel Ai's presence the most strongly since her death? Hello? Can anyone hear me????

We don't get textual answers to any of that - hell, we don't even really have any textual confirmation that he is actually serial killer, despite it being something I guess we're supposed to assume at this point?? Like, whatever happened to Aqua seemingly crediting Yura's death to Nino's involvement? What happened to Aqua saying that Hikaru being the mastermind made no sense? Like, I guess he was right, but jesus

Even things I can take the time to try and infer (which, see last review's discussions on Inferring Things) just make me feel like I'm doing the work the story should have done in terms of trying to get his character to cohere. As it stands, Hikaru isn't in opposition to Aqua because he has harmful beliefs or behaviours born from his participation in society that stem from or are in conversation with the story's wider themes, but because he has one very specific unhinged belief totally disconnected from reality focused on one specific person and manifesting in such a way that caused him to just be Ontologically Evil And Broken.

And it's not like this would even be hard to do! Hikaru is literally, explicitly an affluent and powerful person in the entertainment industry despite being someone who was broken by abuse perpetuated by those very systems of power. Why not lean into that? Why not examine the ways in which Hikaru and Ai converged in their experiences of abuse - Ai able to truly sever the chain and begin healing while Hikaru ends up making Airi's mistakes and enacting abuse and control on people with less power than him to try and regain agency and dignity?

Ryosuke (even post retcon) and ch154 Hikaru work so well because their specific beliefs about Ai reflect real world misogyny and parasocialism that are rife in the entertainment industry (and even outside of it) so they're able to contribute to the story's wider themes pretty well. But as of this chapter, Hikaru's stated beliefs about killing and apparent overall worldview are so fucking detached from reality and so lacking any foundation or grounding in textual events or theming that it doesn't even feel like an exaggeration of real world issues to a logical conclusion like Ryosuke does. He just feels like a cartoon character.

Not only is this shallow in general and really a huge wet fart of an ending for a character who has been built up for 4 actual years and 150 chapters of manga, it's also just bizarrely inconsistent. There's no proper connecting thread in the text between the seemingly emotionally disarmed and remorseful Hikaru of 154-5 and fucking joker slenderman ass here. The story spent so long making Hikaru deeply and viscerally sympathetic through exploring his history of abuse and exploitation mirroring Ai's that I'm not sure of what the point of that was in terms of authorial intent if we were always gonna end at this point of "you are Ontologically Evil and must die". Movie Arc backstory Hikaru flows quite naturally into 153-5 Hikaru but these specific beliefs and fixations on killing almost feel like they popped up from nowhere to force this confrontation to happen.

Ultimately, despite being given ample opportunity to do so, it just kind of feels like Akasaka just kind of lost interest in trying to develop Hikaru into a fully fleshed out and coherent character. We get flashes and teases of what could have come together into a fascinating and compelling antagonist but he ultimately fails to evolve past a vague sketch of a character, full of unconnected ideas and loose threads. In the end, Hikaru is only ever a cipher for the story to enact tragedy through with no real interest in his own feelings and interiority in relation to it - not even his own.

To scooch back a bit into the chapter, I will say that him being dragged down specifically by Gorou is interesting, especially since he seems to have returned to his scary ass Tokyo Blade rage ghost form. This seems to represent Gorou and his rage being sort of 'exorcised' from Aqua now his revenge is complete (as I theorized might happen last week) - his memories and existence obviously live on in Aqua (F… FOR NOW…..) but as a character in a narrative, this feels like a fine enough place to leave him.

Anyway, speaking of Aqua! How ya doing, champ?

that bad, huh

The back half of this chapter revolves around giving Aqua some emotional resolution of his own and even though I've been kicking and biting to get some Aqua introspection for so long now, this one left me feeling pretty cold. After all this time of floating around the 'why' of his reincarnation, the answer we're finally given is….. just that Aqua was reborn to be Ruby's guard dog lol.

The idea that the twins were specifically reborn to be together has been imo pretty obvious for a good long while and I think it's a perfectly fine idea on paper, but this framing of it just kind of falls flat to me. I don't like that it positions Aqua's rebirth not as a second chance for him to love and be loved in a way he wasn't able to as Gorou, a gift from Tsukuyomi to two people who showed her a selfless, thoughtless kindness but as just yet more of the story using other characters and their stories to try and prop up Ruby or imbue her with more importance in a way that I think feels forced and does the characters who are used in this manner a huge disservice. I'm sure we could conclude that this is just Aqua's feelings on the matter and I really, really hope that Tsukuyomi fishes him out and gives him a slap while yelling YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LIVE FOR YOURSELF AND BE HAPPY IDIOT or something next chapter, but the extremely warm framing this is all given makes me think this is something the narrative both agrees with and approves of and as an Aqua enjoyer I just kind of hate that for him.

I also have to say that like… it doesn't not make sense for the story's finale and this aspect of the reincarnation plot to center Ruby specifically. She is one half of the titular Oshi no Kos and at least hypothetically the co-protagonist of the story. But suddenly making her the answer and central turning axis of basically the biggest ongoing mystery in the story like this feels kind of jarring when Akasaka spent a solid half of this entire manga not really doing her justice. This attempt to tug on our heartstrings via flashbacks to the twins' childhood also doesn't really do anything for me because as cute as it is, it's just disconnected flashbacks to brand new events in their childhood we never saw or heard about before. And it's weird because it's not like we don't have in-story examples of Aqua being over protective of Ruby, so why not flashback to those?

Idk. It's hard for me to articulate why this left me feeling kind of cold, but it feels like a symptom of this being part of an ending that Akasaka set in stone too early on and hasn't compromised for he way the character dynamics and story that made it onto paper have shifted and changed in ways that don't one hundred percent line up with the ending he wanted. If the twins' relationship was going to be this important to the ending and be so central to Aqua's existence as a character, I wish we'd spent more time on it. One of the major critiques of OnK that people had from like chapter 12 onwards that I still agree with is that Aqua and Ruby's relationship doesn't feel like a close knit connection between two people who grew up together for 1X+ years, and that continuing issue makes it kind of hard for me to feel the warm and fuzzy sibling feels right now. Which sucks because I LOVE the Hoshino family trio and I love Aqua and Ruby's family dynamic when we actually get to see it - their chapter of interlude and some of the scenes in their home in early OnK are some of my fave parts of the story for that exact reason. But this just kind of whiffed for me.

It also isn't lost on me that Ai is basically absent from these flashbacks despite them primarily taking part in the part of the twins' childhood they spent with her. I get that the idea was to focus specifically on Aqua and Ruby's dynamic there but it still feels kind of…

I've already written a short essay on this topic as it pertained to the initial reveal of Tsukuyomi's role in AQRB's reincarnation and the TL;DR of that post is that early in the series, Ai is centered as a character of as much significance to the reincarnation plot as Gorou/Aqua and Sarina/Ruby are, with the togetherness of the Hoshino family as a trio and Ai specifically as Aqua and Ruby's mother being emphasized as having a great deal of meaning and importance. But this chapter doubles down on essentially erasing her as a figure of weight and consequence in the twin's reincarnation in a way that is both inconsistent and just kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Like… I'm sorry, but given how much of Ai's character revolves around her being the victim of exploitation, of objectification, sexual and otherwise, of being forced to warp herself to response to the filthy desires thrust on her by the people around her, it's really just gross and a huge misstep for her to be reduced to a convenient walking uterus. It is yet another example of Ai being reduced to just a stepping stone in Ruby's narrative and part of a pattern in this regard I've come to really dislike. Framed like this, Ai's own act of bravery and love in giving not just herself but Sarina and Gorou the family all three of them were denied all their lives is now nothing more than a vessel for Sarina's wish fulfillment. As you can imagine, I kind of hate this too!!

Depending on if volume 16 follows 14 and 15's trend of being 11 chapters long instead of 10, vol16 will end on either 162 or 163 - based on how 162 ends, my guess is that this is our volume ender so I'm curious to see what form 163 will take - straightforward continuation of this scene or focus switch to other characters to maintain suspense? I guess we'll see in THREE FUCKING WEEKS……. Akasaka i swear to god……………………….

sidebar but tsukuyomi just out here floating is kind of wild. what happened to 'it's a normal child's body' ya little twerp?

[severefartoholic]

My YouTube reccomendations 2 years ago and my dealer: got some straight gas😛🔥 this strain is called Parties are for Losers 😳 you'll be zonked out of your gourd💯

Me: yeah whatever I don't feel shit

Five minutes into the first song: dude I swear I just saw a child with a bob cut explode into meat popcorn all over the place after comforting the most relentless sun

my buddy Yura, pacing: it's a wicked endeavour of course I understand seems the devil has found business for my idle hand it's likely you tell me I tell you it connects call it my wishful thinking I call it common sense

[wia-tia]

What's behind the smile?

A Hikaru Kamiki expression analysis.

This character has fascinated me for quite a while and today I want to try to understand the expressions that he makes in the manga and theorise a bit (the pictures below are subjectively classified and could be incomplete). I want to mention that I separate Kamiki and the Kamiki that Aqua portrays in the movie.

I found that Kamiki smiles 60% of the time and 40% of his expression are non-smiling, which I personally find quite suprising. I thought he smiled more.

Quite interestingly, in Aqua's portrayal of Kamiki, he barely smiles and is quite expressive in other emotions. He only smiles 14% of the time which is interesting to analyse. I would like to start with that since it is more straightforward.

In chapter 139, Aqua as Kamiki smiles 4 times while spending time with Ai. The other 4 smiles could be classified as not that genuine considering their context. In the 5th picture he smiles yet looks nervous while telling Airi that she is more beautiful than Ai. In the 6th picture he smiles while he says he can’t get an allowance. In the 7th picture he smiles while telling Ai not to make fun of him. In the last picture he says he is totally fine, yet Ai says that’s a lie. These pictures (mostly 5,6,8) seem to allude to a connection between smiling and lying. Because it’s around 50/50 (genuine/not genuine), I can’t conclude that correlation with certainty, but it is interesting that the movie alludes to this. It could also allude to whenever he faces a situation, he wants to get out off, he resorts to smiling to maybe try to soften the situation or maybe to unconsciously self sooth.

Aqua as Kamiki smiling:

Aqua shows through the movie that Kamiki is someone that could have been quite expressive with his emotion, before Ai broke up with him at least. A quick scan through the panels and it seems to me that shock, neutrality, disagreement and a few panels of despair are the most prominent presented emotions. Is this to show that Aqua does not know his father or is this more closely to the feelings of the real Kamiki?

To further expand the first option: I’ve read interpretations that the relationship between Ai and Hikaru share similarities with both of Aqua’s relationships with Akane and Kana, where Hikaru shares the position of Kana in her relationship with Aqua and the position of Aqua in his relationship with Akane. This could reflect Ai and Hikaru’s actual relationship or is a sign that Aqua has influence on the script. Thus that the relationship between Ai and Hikaru is not that accurate to what actually happened. However Aqua says that the movie is not fiction, so it most likely is closer to how their relationship was actually like, in contrast to what Kamiki says.

I personally think the intention of the movie arc is the second option. I think it represents that Kamiki felt a wide range of emotions during his youth. This portrayal of him could serve a similar function as the portrayal of Ai in the movie arc. To humanise him and show us how he felt during those times. Ai is not an invincible idol and Hikaru is not an evil psychopath. They’re both more human than that and feel a multitude of emotions.

Aqua as Kamiki not smiling:

The first time we see Kamiki smile, is when he talks about his daughter Ruby to Ai’s grave in chapter 72. Was he happy to see her?

In chapter 109, 74% of Kamiki’s expressions are smiles. His other expressions are appropriate to look more engaged in the conversation with Yura. He does look quite serious when Ruby’s name is dropped. He could smile to be polite or to get other people’s love or approval. I don’t have much else to say because we still don’t have a precise motive why he involved himself with Yura. It could range from him wanting her dead so he feels his life’s weight, to her having a star in her eyes, to her surpassing Ai or even wanting Ruby to have the role of Ai in the movie. But at the same time he humanizes Ai in chapter 153, so it would be weird that his motive is the idolisation of Ai. We’ll see what future chapters give.

In chapter 138, he smiles while Kaburagi insinuates that by calling him boy A (an anonymous name for child criminals), he will be criminalised. Does he want that? Is that the reason he smiles?

In chapter 147 he smiles to Ruby 76% of the time and all the time to Nino while talking about the movie.

-> he smiles while asking Ruby her wish and assuming her answer. And then again when reflecting on her true answer (while having white stars). Is he smiling to be polite, is he happy to talk to her and to hear her wish or is it something else?

-> he’s serious when Ruby talks about not forgiving him and her true wish and also while meeting Akane. Could this mean that he is genuinly considering what Ruby says?

-> he smiles while talking to Nino about how the movie will affect him. He tells her that he will rot. Is he happy that he will for the sake of Ai? At this moment, he still thinks the movie is an extension of Ai’s wish, so I assume that is the reason for his expression of happiness. As Ai, as seen in chapter 153 and 154, seems to be a very important figure in his life.

In chapters 152-154, he smiles around Aqua, while talking about the movie and Ai’s death, until he expresses shock due to Aqua saying that the movie is not fiction and showing Ai’s video. Could he smile because he still thinks he was fulfilling Ai’s wish? The shock would then be genuine as it was not expected by him. Most of his expressions are concealed though, I’ve read somewhere that it could be that he has white stars in his eyes during some of these moments, but nothing is confirmed yet.

During the flashbacks only 2 of the 22 panels have genuine smiles and they’re with Ai yet the rest of them aren’t genuine or have a more shocked or desperate expressions portrayed which is more in line with the Kamiki the movie arc depicted. The non-genuine smiles are probably there once again to soften the blow of what is to come or to self sooth, like Ai’s breakup.

In the conversation with Aqua in chapters 159-160, he actually has a majority of non-smiling expressions (53% non-smiling). This is the first time his adult self, more closely resembled the movie’s portrayal of him. He smiles watching the B-Komachi concert. He also has a smile when Aqua calls him a liar yet looked weirdly sad or pained at the same time. When Aqua accuses him of putting Ruby in danger, his expressions are mostly shocked or serious.

During the flashbacks (which have no black background), he only smiles, which can be seen as manipulative but can also be genuine or be a call back to him smiling to soften serious or painful situations, such as Ryosuke’s death or his breakup with Ai. It's hard to tell with how little context we have.

Smiling:

Non-smiling:

I want to conclude that he noticeably smiles when he thinks he’s fulfilling Ai’s and his kids’ wishes. Maybe, he knows that Ai would have wanted the kids to be happy and that that is her wish, so he sacrifices himself for that. He thought the movie was Ai's wish so he sponsered that. Revenge is Aqua’s wish so it makes him happy that Aqua is fulfilling his wish and plays the role of someone who need to be revenged on. The same goes for Ruby for being an idol as her wish and feeling happiness for her as she is fulfilling it (same as her not forgiving him, so he acts as someone who cannot be forgiven). I think he cares about the twins in some way, because that is what most of his actions seem to allude to and every interaction, we see of him has something to do with the twins. I think his paternal feelings are true (he blurted that out so randomly, makes me think he really wants to express his affection more openly). Wishes also seem to be really important to his character (and is in the title of this last arc), which makes me wonder how that would manifest in future chapters. He also smiles if it would help temper a troublesome situation, which could be a habit that he picked up from his youth, making it harder to pinpoint the meaning of his smiles. I still feel quite unsure about him and hope that the further the manga goes the more things clear up, but I really like his connection with wishes and hope that that will be further explored in the manga. Of course other interpretation of him are possible since so much is left unclear and maybe the panel compilations can help you theorise.

[hollywoodfamerp]

Pack your bags, Famers! Our annual winter trip is taking place in Ireland! On February 17th, all celebrities will be arriving at the Adare Manor to kick off our trip! Named the #1 resort in Europe in 2023, Adare Manor sits on 840 acres of pristine parkland.

"It’s prestige without pretense and magic without nonsense. Above all, it is the sense of belonging. You are known. You are family. You are home."

UNDER THE CUT, YOU’LL FIND THE LIST OF ROOMMATES!

Unless we got a message from you telling us you wanted to be with a specific person or were not in the ships list - you were included in the generator. If you do not see your FCs name on this list, please message us POLITELY and let us know - sometimes a name gets missed getting put into the generator. We’re human and it happens! At the same time, if your FC is on there twice by any chance then please let us know. Again, mistakes happen. As we accept new applications and people come into the group before AND during the event, this list will be updated. Same will go for if people get unfollowed or ask to leave the group. We posted the pairings in advance so that you may reach out to your roommate and get new interactions going! Even if a mun is on hiatus, be sure to reach out to them so that you can see if you can head-canon some interactions or plan for something when they are off hiatus. All trips are to encourage new interactions and unlikely connections!

PLEASE LIKE THIS NOTICE WHEN YOU HAVE READ IT AND SO THAT YOU CAN KEEP TRACK OF THE LIST UPDATES!

Addison Timlin & Sabrina Carpenter

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[extralively]

Ok so

Somebody once asked who fell in love first, and I feel like Sims 4 just answered it, because I just checked and apparently Sim Yura hasn't fallen in love yet lmao

They are, however, getting very close. Like, I told Yura to tickle Satoru and then this is how they ended up (apparently the action "Whisper Sweet Nothings" popped up, and I swear it wasn't me lmao). I feel like the tickle -> getting into each other's personal space is something that could very well happen in the fic tho, extra points if it's before they started sleeping together (◡‿◡✿)

(Also not pictured here, it was the Neighborhood Brawl event so Yura and Satoru fought each other. Yura won.)

...Then immediately after the fight:

CALM DOWN YURA

Anyway, let's go Karaoke

they were both horrible

And to finish it off......

Deeply connected, you say? A powerful bond, you say?

...Sims 4, have you read the main fic by any chance?

[aikakyu]

doodle dump 🪘💌

— (1) 💋

felt an intense surge of gaku yearning one fine october night and thought i wanted to just. pepper his face with kisses HAWHSWHHS AHHHHHWHH i still want to right now actually

— (2) 🖼

a warm up before i worked on comms !! his ayakashi gallery SR was the last thing i saw on my twt tl before i closed the app and thought he just looked so darn pretty especially with the dangling earring that i HAD to draw him my super cute boyfriend

— (3) 💐

IAYWUWADS !!! for people familiar with tsukipro i think the third doodle is super recognizable—it's kuga issei's あなたの花 cover art !!! i've recently crawled back to tsukipro cause of kuga ichiru and the brainrot unsurprisingly extended to gaku as well ;;; i definitely want to doodle yura in ichiru's 眠る大烏 art too !! lyrics and character wise this "assignment" should be reversed (as in issei = yura, ichiru = gaku) but i just undeniably love issei's cover art a whole lot more despite ichiru being my tkpr oshi so i just HAD to insert gaku in it HAHAHA

if ever i have tsukipro mutuals save for ecah, please please please, if you love gakuyura AND the kuga twins, please talk to me about them because i will go crazy with all the connections JAHWGSHSWS

— (4) 🪘💌

another doodle born from my immense gaku yearning... this was super recent actually—within this week—i just quickly scribbled it during an ungodly hour because my longing was sooo bad..... it still is..... i want to render this if possible !! i think it looks so soft :( gaku kissing ai in her sleep, pulling a blanket over her, how the soft glow outside of the room hits him.....

— (5) 🍓

the other day was my 1555th day with gaku !! 15 = ichigo = strawberry WAHAHWHS this doodle would've been way fitting for 1515 days, but oh well :]

i used to always have a little something prepared every few hundred day milestone with gaku but i haven't been able to do that nowadays because i'm occupied with comms...i want to quickly get back on it !!! maybe during our 1600th day together? hopefully? !? sobs

[sakuharuka]

Imagine a MILGRAM x Danganronpa thingie where MILGRAM characters (the prisoners, Es and some more) get into a Danganronpa-like game!!!

Jackalope gets the role of Monokuma with his teasing persona, often making unnecessary comments about the girls, specially Muu and Mahiru, also with a sadistic side to himself that only Es knows about for some reason.

Es is the ultimate prison guard and the protag! They wake up with no memories in the beach and meet a few more people! In their head, all they know is their name and ultimate. There's a lot to cover.... or rather, recover.

I believe that Haruka's the ultimate unlucky student due to ""his only ability being bringing misfortune to others"", according to himself. During a free time event, he told Es to call him "the second ultimate artist" to at least make himself slightly happier due to his love for art, albeit he draws rather childishly and his pieces come across as shaky every time. Of course, it's the same ultimate as Mirai's.

Yuno would call herself 'ultimate socialite' -- actually an enjo joshi -- due to her track record of enjo kosai. She's not a fan of her true title due to having recently aborted a child, yet she's willing to hide it with a title just as "dirty" to draw attention off herself.

Fuuta would end up as the ultimate grafitti artist as a connection to Backdraft. He comments that he'd prefer to be a gamer or a soccer player, as being a grafitti artist, for some reason, is something that made him hold deep regret.

Muu would call herself 'ultimate queen bee' -- formally 'ultimate social queen', a title she seems to take as 'too confusing but kind of nice'. Haruka just calls her the ultimate queen. She appreciates it, but she states that she loves bees.

Shidou, of course, is the ultimate surgeon. He reveals in-game that, after a car accident that put his wife and older son in the hospital -- the younger dying instantly, he ended up killing them while just trying to do his job. After that, he gave up on being a surgeon, depressed and suicidal, missing his children and the love of his life.

Mahiru, due to TIHTBILWY, would be the ultimate blogger! She states that her blog is lovable and 'ultra romantic', which even Es, someone rather stoic, gets surprised and lets out a smile by its layout. Mikoto tells her that it's the blog of a professional guru. She seems to get much more excited by that.

As a reference to Half and Cat, Kazui is the ultimate kyogen master. In-game, he bonds with Shidou about "his ultimate having killed his wife", however, his case is more in an abstract sense: Kazui pretending to like her, being something that he's not. Well.... he did like her, just not romantically. He feels quite guilty by that.

Amane's formal title is li'l ultimate devotee, however, she calls herself the 'ultimate cleric' for the sake of her cult. She seems to not like anyone except for Fuuta and Kazui, who she sees as family, calling the rest 'sinners who should rot in hell' much to everyone's dismay. Even Jackalope, well... a jackalope, is a reason for distrust.

Mikoto's the ultimate designer. His formal ultimate specifies *what kind* of designer -- either graphic or fashion-related, but, for some reason different from Es's, his memories are also pretty foggy. Well.... of course he remembers his job..! Just.... not his full title. Rumors during the motives say that he was diagnosed with DID some time ago.

Kotoko's the ultimate vigilante, a title she carries with pride. She has killed a few in a way quite subtle and, much to Es's surprise, neither her nor themself are connected to the government somehow. She seems to be pretty wolf-like in attitude, even biting and scratching others, growling or howling by impulse at times. She seems to connect it with her talent.

Yura Kashiki, Yuno's little brother! He ends up as the li'l ultimate acapella performer. He's a really nice boy and supports Yuno when he can, also trying to sing songs to his older folks. He ends up friends with Amane due to the two of them having similar ages. Although not joining her cult, he seems to memorize its songs due to the green-haired girl's constant prayers. He's quite attached to Yuno and the other way round! Their relationship is quite wholesome!

"Miss Magic", also known as Mana, li'l ultimate magical girl wannabe formally, calls herself 'ultimate good witch' or just 'ultimate witch' despite not able to make true magic. Loves Kazui, sees him as a teacher and loves learning with him due to his ultimate. Amane's not a fan of her due to her name. For some reason revealed in-game, she's terrified of Fuuta and Rumerie. The feelings seem to be mutual for the former, as he gets ungodly disturbed when he sees her, but not for the latter, who finds her weak.

(Fun fact: In that context, Mana is a kirakira name in Japanese that uses the "Ma" kanji as if in "Mahou", magic !! Can represent her username/nickname and also how 'Fuuta thought she had bad intentions before noticing that she was just a middle school girl' since 'Ma', by itself, can also mean the devil!) Mirai, the ultimate artist! Quite fashionable and kind, calm under pressure but secretly pretty overwhelmed under her mask of whimsical kindness. In a free time event with Es, their usual unintentionally cold and rude demeanor with Haruka prompts her to confess about his violent meltdowns, ones who are difficult to control. She states that the two were childhood friends and that her worst trauma was almost dying after seeing her missing dog also dead because she panicked in the wrong moment. Haruka never really liked animals. Mirai loves taking pictures of herself, others, the scenery and moments. Her favorite pictures are of fireworks, a moment she shared with Haruka back when they were children. She likes to fluctuate between styles, sometimes similar to anime, sometimes cartoon-esque, abstract or even realistic.

Rumerie, the ultimate gamer! He's rather mean-spirited, oftentimes mocking everyone for everything. He likes to call himself Fuuta's friend, a title the guy's not a fan of. Rumerie finds Fuuta's ultimate way more interesting than his, so the two have this complex of wanting to swap ultimates. Just like Fuuta has his easily frightened side, Rumerie shows a softer one with either children that aren't Mana (Amane and Yura) or people who show themselves to be slightly more childish in nature (Haruka). He's quite good at all sorts of videogames and, despite insisting that he prefers fighting games, secretly loves taking care of virtual pets. He tries to hide how cute he finds Jackalope by the beginning of the killing game.

Rei, the ultimate writer! Secretly had a crush on Muu back when she was solely an observer until she ended up as the victim of her and her group's actions. By then, Rei grew to hate her a lot. She's collected, usually expressionless. Hates Muu, Haruka's attachment to the same gives Rei the ick. She's friends with Mirai, almost becoming Yuno's before her inevitable fate. Despite being stoic and disengaged, she wishes to protect everyone from Jackalope and whoever's behind the killing game, including Muu.

[lee-sanghyeok]

On July 10th, BOYNEXTDOOR will be releasing their first Japanese single alongside the Japanese versions of One and Only, But Sometimes, and Earth, Wind & Fire. It'll be released as 'AND,' following the style of their previous EPs with 'WHO!', 'WHY..' and 'HOW?'

It's unsurprising they're releasing a Japanese track. They're widely popular in Japan, so it was only a matter of time before they catered to those fans—especially since they released an English version of EW&F. (I'm v curious about that shift in marketing, from Japanese audiences to Western audiences despite K-pop's strong ties to Japan, but that for another post.)

Interestingly, the first promotional image for 'AND,' seen above is a direct reference to 'WHO!' with the bright blue colour. BOYNEXTDOOR has stated is a Spotify video that their colour is royal blue, so it might just be part of marketing, but I believe that their Japanese single will have similar vibes to the songs on 'WHO!'

Which makes sense. 'But I like You', 'One and Only' and 'Serenade' are their brightest, most innocent songs, which are key terms K-pop groups usually go for whenever they release a Japanese song. A recent example of this is 'Yura Yura' by ZB1.

Another thing we should pay attention to is the shape within the letter A of 'AND,'. It looks like a thumbs up. Perhaps it hints at the title of the Japanese single. Something like, 'Okey Dokey' or the Japanese way of saying okay, like, 'iiyo!', 'wakatta!', or 'いいぞ！', meaning 'thumbs up!'

Lastly, the comma after AND feels important. It implies the continuation of a sentence. It implies a sentence isn't over yet, that someone is still speaking, thinking, writing. I believe they're using the Japanese single as a bridge between their Korean trilogies. They've finished the WHO trilogy and are now able to explore a new theme. But to do that, they might want a song to prepare the listener.

Aka, their Japanese single.

'WHO!' 'WHY..' 'HOW?' 'AND,' ... and then what? A new EP. If my assumption is correct, then it's a brilliant way of connecting their body of work.

Anyway, I really look forward to this single, the concept photography and the possible performances.

[nopanamaman]

this has probably been asked before but ... what's been the biggest struggle with writing PAFL thus far? how did you handle any blocks/obstacles in your writing process? i've hit a lot of points where i've been unable to fix or connect plot holes, so i'm always interested in how others who are producing their stories handle these problems

That's a good question anon

It's a bit hard to say now, since the story has been solidified a good while ago... But I think the ending was what gave me the most trouble, even when most of the current PAFL story was already laid out.

I've already talked about the first ending being too dismal for my liking. While I know it could've worked and satisfied a good number of people, to me it felt like it justified Yura's initial nihilistic worldview. Also it left a lot of threads hanging in a way I found rather unsatisfying.

What helped me is stealing. I though about what endings made me feel satisfied in the past, what scenes and moments made the journey feel worth it, even if the conclusion wasn't 100% happy.

As a result, I pulled from a lot of different places for inspiration. While I still have some peculiarities to iron out in terms of how I want the final sequence to play out, I'm far happier with what I have now.

So I guess as banal as it is, look to other things. Don't be afraid to copy shit you enjoy - it's about how you mix and match your inspirations. That's how you make the story your own!

When it comes to plotholes, I got two strategies. The classic: gloss over them and patch things up on the fly later on if somebody notices. Sounds bad, but honestly, if the inconsistency isn't absolutely story- and logic-breaking most people won't care.

Actually, most people won't care even if the plothole is severe as long as the story you're telling is engaging and entertaining enough. So don't beat yourself up too hard about it.

That said, if the plothole is genuinely stopping the story from progressing properly or breaks immersion in a major way, it's best to just scrap that whole chunk of the plot and rethink it from the ground up.

I remember reading something like, "If you're writing prose and feel absolutely stuck on a sentence, just go a couple sentences back and rewrite everything from there." You can totally do the same on a more global narrative scale!

[kerostarz]

love you twice. kim gyuvin

[ k.gv x f!reader ]

“he was like a shot of espresso, like being bathed in sunlight.”

a university au in which a red thread ties you to someone whom you’ve never thought you’d connect with, but i guess that’s how fate works.

“oh, there he is again”

☕️🍪—

i often go to this one coffee shop hidden between the nooks and crannies of the town i live in, near my university.

whilst it was usually just me and some regulars visiting this cafe on a regular basis, a guy from my university recently started going. i don’t know him much, in fact, i don’t know him at all, but i do see him often around campus. the small chances in which we cross paths, i always catch him with his friends; laughing around, teasing each other and with a wide smile plastered on his face.

and though he usually portrays this loud and bubbly personality, here, in this cafe, he sits in silence with his headphones, keeping to himself. the times were we both visited the cafe, he’s never brought a friend around. it’s like this is his own secret sacred place where he can unwind without anyone disturbing his peace.

today, the cafe was busier than usual (probably due to it being saturday). the table where i usually sat at was occupied and only the window ledge was free. the bartender urged me to sit there since it was the only place available. there was a guy already sitting there, though i didn’t think too much of it.

flicking through the menu, i ended up choosing my regulars: an espresso and two chocolate chipped cookies. taking my phone out, i waited for my order to get here.

“mm ~ yura yura baby baby.. dun dun..” the guy besides me started humming under his breath, i noticed right away but didn’t react (to not disturb him). i swayed my head around to the beat of his singing, smiling to myself.

..

“thank you so much!”

“you’re welcome, enjoy!”

i took a photo of my order and then happily took the first sip of my espresso. bittersweet ~ just how i like it.

not long after, the guy received his order too, but before it could get to him, the waitress tripped over and his piece of cake splattered all over the floor. “oh my god, im so sorry! let me clean this and get you another cake!” the waitress said with a rushed tone and slight embarrassment in her voice. “don’t worry, may i just get a water instead,” he replied.

surprised, the waitress nodded and after the incident, everyone went back to doing their own things. the guy looked down right away, as if he wanted to be unnoticed by the other customers. i couldn’t help but feel bad.

“hey, you can have my cookie.” i tapped his shoulder lightly, “oh.. you don’t have to—”

“no seriously take it i’m not that hungry anyway”, i chuckled, letting out a smile of reassurance.

the boy looked up and removed his mask. oh? instantly, i recognised his face: his wispy yet messy hair covering his big brown eyes ever so slightly. his face, red (i assume due to the embarrassment from earlier), highlighting his nose with a rosey tint like rudolf the red nose reindeer. his lips curled into a smile as he titled his head to the side, “thank you!”. oh.. he’s cute.