#'you can't use a sequence here.' okay why not. i though we loved sequences here.

[supercantaloupe]

getting real tired of turning in hw for counterpoint class where i have to compose something that sounds nice and follows proper voice leading, only to be told that what i wrote is wrong and bad because of some arbitrary rule that was never mentioned until now.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

some wwdits finale thoughts--

i found that okay but wasn't nuts about it. i feel like i would've liked to see it strike a more tender emotional note with most of the characters. (i get the "they never change~!" argument, but i feel like it's somewhat at odds with the show itself, and there have just been so many good earnestly touching moments throughout the years that i definitely wanted more of those here at the end!) wanted more laszlo and nadja and maybe a fond little farewell to their iconic marriage. it kind of shocked me that laszlo, nadja, and colin were left so in the background while guillermo and nandor got so much of the ending. (though i can't complain because i love them dearly and i do think of them as the two main characters of the series, and the characters who changed the most, even if they can't tell they did.)

i did enjoy the ambiguous nandermo of it all (although i wish they would've hugged 😢 they both needed a hug and i needed them to hug, okay), and i especially liked that guillermo "decided to leave" to give the documentary some closure but then immediately came back to be like, "jk, HEY BESTIE!" because guess what! guillermo's life doesn't always have to be sacrifice! guillermo can have what he wants! he can embark upon a new life out in the world AND stay in his weird thing with nandor and his vampire besties! and, i guess, fight crime and do things in the shadows with nandor in their underground lair!

also cute that nandor and guillermo ended up in bed (well, in coffin) together at the end of the episode, just like nadja hypnotized us into imagining as the most perfect ending we could possibly imagine with our simple little human minds! (that's the one us hulu viewers got, anyway!) i did definitely earnestly believe for a second there that they were gonna make out in the coffin instead of what actually happened. le sigh!

random thoughts:

was nadja dolly in this episode (aside from the rosemary's baby hypnosis) and i just forgot from finale brain scramblies? i felt like i was missing her.

feeling like they could've done more with the monster and, idk, tied that to the theme of this season a little more somehow (whatever the theme of this season was). i just feel like something got left hanging there. maybe something to do with laszlo and colin and parenthood and daddy issues.

nandor's continued crush on the guide why?? you know what, i won't stress over it. i'll just cling to the fact that he committed so hard to his life with guillermo that he somehow made the underground lair happen.

wish they'd called back to guillermo's vampire slayer powers more somehow. i just feel like we needed way more of that!

i wish we could've seen seanie and charmaine and the baron and the sire again :'( like maybe they could've thrown a viewing party of the documentary at the end!

also: omg, i want more about the documentary (or documentaries)! who are these maniacs out here making multi-year documentaries about vampires and what role are those documentaries supposed to play in society?? they should've given us at least a little bit more about that! come on!

i think we need a movie to wrap up these loose ends and finally provide a nandermo embrace. a movie and six seasons and a movie, if you will.

p.s. JACKIE DAYTONA! i am also pretty tickled by the thought that the events of "local news", perhaps the most chaotic and deranged episode, happened twice.

p.p.s. NANDERMO BAD GUY FIGHTING SPINOFF PLS!

p.p.p.s. headcanon: nandor and guillermo both watch the finale episode someday and envision the sitcom-marrieds dream sequence as their perfect hypnotized ending. are forced to confront their feelings at last.

[kandadze]

Ep 32 loose thoughts

Oh hell that was a *bad* idea, WX! And why is she by herself? Was PSJ not in the dungeon after all?

Ahhh okay she still *is* in the dungeon, oh ffs

She at least has her brother when things get *real* bad... I spoke too soon. Hello there, another illusion! Get him, PSJ, punch that goddamn smirk off of his face!

I see this episode will be a montage of at least three fight sequences going on at the same time. Oof, I felt ZYZ taking that fireball in the back to protect ZYC right in my gut, how many times will they be each other's shield before one of them shatters?

Speaking of which. Can someone shatter this asshole already???

Come on, ZYC, you know there's no way WX and PSJ could be there for real! All of this is just another illusion feeding off your biggest fear!

....................

Right, it's an illusion within an illusion. I can't with this drama.

How many times did ZYZ let himself bleed on ZYC's blade at this point? I should go back and count. Look at me, I know that no matter how the end might break me, I *will* go back and rewatch the whole thing...

Fuckkkkk the way I cheered when the swirl of leaves appeared! (Also, ZYZ using his hand to protect ZYC's face... I repeat, how many times will they be each other's shield??? 😭)

Oh LL, joining the self-sacrificial idiots squad! And ZYZ's concern for him coming out of his cultivation too early. LL's smile in response! Fuck the things that could've been 😭

Ngl it's kinda funny how they're having those prolonged and emotional conversations while the villain just stands there, totally hearing every word even though he's way too far for it to be possible (unless he added some hearing related mcguffin to his demonic upgrade), and not really doing anything of substance. Not sure if it's intentional to show how much he believes in his own advantage, or is this a thing in xianxias in general, either way, thanks for the (choked, but still) laugh, now let's see if Qing Geng can help detoxify the poison in ZYC. (Seriously, what's with cdramas and poisons?)

Ah, fuck, I knew that they showed us the red glowing eyes on Fei for a reason. Seriously, I hope WZY *burns*.

OMG the sound of Bai Jiu's bell woke ZYC up enough for him to reach for the antidote!!! Team effort once more! I love how they show us again and again that our gang's strength comes from their love for one another! 😭😭😭 (And fuckkkk, Qing Geng used her inner core for the antidote! The scene in the MV, of these three watching golden dust dissipate in front of their eyes, was of her death... oh man, I know I said I'd prefer everyone to die if it meant no one was left behind to suffer, but it's as if they heard me and went, let's start with the secondary characters who gutted you the most the first time around, shall we? 😭)

Meanwhile, the villain is still alive and well, and LL's taking the brunt of his fire attacks, while being, y'know, a *tree* demon. *Both* ZYZ and ZYC reaching out to steady him!!! What a shot! No matter what happens next, this was *so* satisfying to see. (Also, can I just say how I love LL's hairdo here, and how all the adornments are made of things you can get or make out of various tree parts! A+)

Seriously, the piece of garbage does *not* deserve such a beautiful "true form". Please die already, you've wasted enough of everyone's time. Hopefully knowing where his inner core is will help in achieving just that.

The way I cheered when PSJ finally landed a killing blow on the lackey. And then I promptly choked at the candy bit (flashed way back to The Untamed lol). How dare they make me feel emotional like thissss!

And that's the end of the ep? I feel like the girls got seriously sidelined in this one, but at least we got some badass sequences (PSJ) and some aesthetic slamming against the pillars (sorry, WX). I'm also  afraid that sending Bai Jiu away, even though done for his immediate safety, is gonna backfire horribly... only one way to find out! (Ngl, I'm really scared for what's still to come.)

On to ep 33! (Will I get any sleep tonight? Probably not. I might post the rest of the commentary only tomorrow though, I'm getting really drained.)

[felixcloud6288]

PMMM Rebellion Movie

Those images during Homura's explanation of things have some real witch art-style to them.

Those tears(?) formed a spiral at the end.

This opening has real Fantasia vibes.

Madoka!? Why are you in the ballerina crowd?

I really want to know how that bear thing is animated. It looks like a real item made using stop motion.

SAYAKA!!! and Kyouko!!

A musical?

Why is the dessert witch here?

I'm not even five minutes in and have written all this.

It's the same family scene from episode 1.

So Hitomi and Kyousuke are already dating in the movie.

I saw it! Madoka has that magical girl mark on her left middle finger. Can't tell what it is but it's pink.

This opened with Homura explaining the law of cycles so I'd assume this is after the main series but things are definitely not adding up.

Madoka does the late for school run complete with toast in mouth.

ClaRis returns to make the opening theme.

Opening theme remarks: This is so obviously going to be about Homura. I love how the others are able to be carefree and have fun. Even though it's supposed to represent some tragic thing (I don't know, does Homura feel isolated and the others don't know her distress?), there's something funny about her moping while the others are doing a cheerful dance.

First time seeing Kyouko in a school uniform.

Sayaka and Kyouko's interaction over the homework is such a perfect microcosm of how they view what a magical girl is.

Oh great. Teacher's a conspiracy nutjob.

And her rambling sets the story to shortly after December 21, 2012.

It's Moe-mura. So is this an earlier loop?

Nevermind. What's a nightmare? The anime ended saying they're hunting demonic beasts.

Another shot where I could see Madoka's finger mark. It looks like it's just a pink line.

Hitomi has a fairy-tale princess bed.

Oh, so that's what nightmares are.

I'm SO OBSESSED with staring at everyone's fingers!!! I never saw Mami's mark in the anime and I can see she has one too. It's orange, but I can't tell exactly what it is. I think it might be a diamond.

Bebe? Okay. Why is that little witch living with Mami?

Got a good laugh seeing Mami use magic to curl her hair.

So glad Sayaka realized that Kyousuke isn't worth being upset over.

I'm so happy Kyubey hasn't said a single word. I hope just shuts the fuck up for the whole movie.

A full sailor Moon-esque transformation sequence.

Something felt off about Homura's transformation. I had to rewatch everyone's transformation sequences and while Homura's wasn't the only one that had witch runes appear, it was the only one where they interrupted the tranformation rather than being part of it.

Everything about Homura's transformation sequence dripped with sheer awkwardness. She does not know how to be flashy or cool.

I actually had a PTSD flashback when Bebe got real close to Homura's face.

Do they actually have to sing to dispel the nightmares? That felt like the kind of song you'd sing to a kindergarten class.

Okay. Their soul gems get replenished by the power created by turning nightmares into happy dreams.

Loved seeing them all work together. We never got anything like that in the anime.

Bebe keeps talking about cheese. Is that why she ate Mami in the anime? Cause Mami's head looks like a cheese wheel?

What's with the math teacher's face? Oh it's everyone.

Anime cabbage rule: All drawings of food must look amazing.

Maybe all this is some nightmare of Homura's? I think she's implying to Kyouko that everything she doesn't know is kind of being awkwardly filled in.

"Veni, Vidi, Mitaki Hara"

We're already in weirdo limbo world and we haven't reached the final stop?

Bus driver is really unconcerned that someone jumped from the roof onto the engine.

Is Mitakihara the name of the city the story takes place in?

Everything is creepy.

Moe-mura was just an act.

I bet Kyubey is behind all this. I have no proof but I need an excuse to hate him.

Hold on a second. Were Bebe's familiars mouse-themed because she's obsessed with cheese?

Every time Homura pries into something she doesn't know, things get weird.

Homura, you shouldn't accuse the cheese freak when Kyubey is RIGHT THERE!!

There's a drawing of Bebe with a Mami palette-swap and a moustache at 46:08.

All the billboards are BEBE.

MAGIC OF GUN!!!!

WHAT!!?

Wraiths? Is that what we call the demonic beasts?

The witch wants to keep things the way they are. Oh dear. It's Homura.

Bebe and Sayaka know too much. They and Madoka should not exist in this world.

SAYAKA TURNED INTO HER WITCH FORM!?! WHAT'S GOING ON AND HOW CAN I BLAME KYUBEY FOR THIS!?

Why are those "children" throwing tomatoes at Homura?

Madoka's finger mark is just a line. LAME!!

Madoka was literally trying to make Homura go back to how she was at the start and Homura ended up rejecting the false reality where Madoka never vanished.

Why are creepy children chanting Homura's name while the world ends? Why is this movie so creepy!?

KYUBEY SHUT UP!! GO BACK TO BEING ALL "Kyu, Kyu".

Oh great, there's more of them.

Witch Homura's familiars are a mix of British Royal guards that look like Homura and children. Homura wished to relive her time with Madoka but be able to protect her instead, so the royal guard theme makes sense.

Awesome! It IS Kyubey's fault!

Kyubey and his entire race really are just the worst.

Loving the montage of Homura being singly obsessed with killing Kyubey forever.

Oh so Homura's familiars aren't royal guards. They're a prisoner escort. So I guess those children familiars are the onlookers mocking the prisoner on their way to their execution.

Sayaka can command her witch form.

Sayaka and Bebe are commanding familiars from all the witches from the anime.

Now that I think about it, we never saw Sayaka pull of any actual pagical feats. This is cool seeing her create music sheet platforms.

Sayaka/Kyouko OTP!!

Sayaka's witch form is wielding a copy of Kyouko's spear.

Kyubey's final words being "I don't understand at all" is so appropriate when getting destroyed by the power of love.

A familiar of the Walpurgis Night is escorting Sayaka and Bebe.

There's still 20 minutes left. Something bad is totally going to happen.

Homura, what are you doing?

Why is that spool of thread a recurring item in the movie?

Okay. I have no idea what just happened, but I guess Kyubey's going to suffer for eternity so I think it's a net positive.

Homura looks so tired.

Oh Homura's mindset did not change from when she became a witch. She just doubled down. Even her familiars hate her.

Wait what?

Madoka is wearing the ribbon her mother didn't recommend.

That same montage of events from episodes 1 and 10.

I genuinely do not understand the ending at all. Did Homura just completely nullify the entire magical girl system and Kyubey, witches, and all that just exist as things outside existence?

There shouldn't be stars on the dark side of a half-moon. The moon is literally cut in half.

Homura just threw herself off a cliff. And the half-moon and cliff perfectly divide the scene. I guess Homura has figuratively and literally gone off the deep end and plunged herself into the darkness.

Kyubey is scared. Kyubey is SCARED!! Emotions are a mental illness to his race. Homura drove him mad.

Y'know, a theme in the series is that there's no such thing as a selfless wish. Everything has a selfish motive and the entire witch system banked on girls trying to be that selfless person they're told they should be and consequently making wishes that don't give them any happiness. Even though Madoka's wish destroyed the witch system, it was still one of those 'selfless on the outside, selfish on the inside' wishes cause she always wants to be helpful. And Kyubey's system still existed but in a less effective way.

Homura effectively made an absolutely selfish wish in the end. She wanted to make sure that Madoka can always be with her, and she rewrote the universe to destroy the entire cause and effect preventing her from having that desire.

Ironically, it looks like this is the good ending because no one has to suffer from the magical girl system at all. And all the aspects about it still exist to keep things running, but don't actually effect anything. The only one who will suffer is Kyubey.

back

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

TBB s3 ep9 Thoughts!!

I’ll start off by saying this season is my favourite so far. I’m having WAY too much fun with these lololol

Crosshair having a little domestic moment, helping out at Pabu <3

“Does it matter? We’re not handing her over.” Oh, mans is out for blood huh?

The fact that this episode is called “The Harbinger” and then Batcher immediately runs into a cave and gets scared…

This is when the Empire gets to Pabu, isn’t it…

VENTRESS!!!!

AAAAAAHHHHH

Okay so clearly Ventress wants her own little Padawan

But why was that fight sequence so sped up hahahahahah

It was almost comedic

Loved her and Cross fighting though

THE THEME SONG WHEN THEY GRABBED RHEIR WEAPONS

dare i say first time this season? about time

different colour sabres aaaaaa

that’s actually super cool because the colour of your sabre depends on how you connect to the force when you find your kyber crystal and if you wanna change them you have to meditate on them for SO LONG so like Ventress committed to neutrality (gotta read up on her story in legends again, but i know girl went through it)

“You’re being naive.” *slowly turns to him* “bitch say it again”

Love how all of them are standing on the shore watching Omega train

CROSSHAIR ALREADY HAVING HIS RIFLE OUT I AM SCREAMING HAHAHAHAHAH

Cross practically running down the stairs to help Omega into the ship

Also I am already 100% that Ventress and Cross are gonna have a thing

So Omega does have a high M-Count, she just can’t tap into her skills yet?

Interesting

Okay, all in all i really loved this episode! It was fun and relaxed but still somehow a bit plot driven. Here’s the thing though @phantom-of-the-501st correctly pointed out that we’re nearing not just the end of the season but the end of the show. And there are still SO MANY loose ends. Up until last weeks episode all the other eps were very plot driven, and it’s only the last two that felt like filler. I’m thinking the show runners are giving us a quick breather until just full on deep diving into the seasons end with one heart-wrenching episode after the other. That, or they’re going to put more filler episodes in and rush the actual plot, but I'm really hoping it's the first.

also, seriously, what are Rex and Echo cooking that prevents Echo to be in literally all the episodes? are we gonna get a really sad arc here soon? im having a feeling that says yes, echo is gonna give us more drama soon. can't wait 🫠

[allwormdiet]

Tangle 6.6

Well hell, not a whole lot getting worse when one of you has a gun to their back

"Surrender." "No." is kind of the vibe, isn't it.

And yeah, fuck this was smart, but now the offensive has ground to a halt thanks to Armsmaster's interception

...Also it's cute that he fell for Tattetale's fib

Yeah exactly. Information control, an incredible asset

She's picking him apart, and his tools as well, but she either doesn't realize she's playing with fire or doesn't care

This is a fight, so I'm not gonna act like Armsmaster swinging on Tattletale is somehow a foul, but it does feel a little like a foul considering that's the only swing he makes for another while here

Are we sure Miss Militia is more likeable than Armsmaster? Bc Armsmaster isn't the one putting a bladed weapon at someone's neck, and I don't think you can "rubber bullets" your way out of a machete blow

Also the exchange between Grue and Regent is amusing

Hi again, Emma, hope you're having an awful time <3

Oh, that's why Tattletale was willing to risk the fucking sucker blow from Armsmaster; she knew that was gonna be the assist the others could use to get the score

God that's kinda great though. This business is about reputation and pageantry and they can use this stage, with an audience of rich and important people, to get a shitload of leverage against the heroes

Also the machete really is a bad look, like c'mon

And the reluctance to swap the machete out for a fucking baton or something doesn't look much better, why does Taylor still think she's cool at the end of this arc?

Fucking good job on Regent's part here. Outrageously gross, but it gets the job done.

And another really fucking clever maneuver. I dunno what Armsmaster is talking about, this was a fucking slick maneuver. Minimal harm taken and she gets to keep her bugs up, that's obviously the play

So this is actually a neat way to work around the whole "speedster" concept. Velocity's still good at what he does, but he's not the kind of low-key god that Flash is

Yeah, exactly, he doesn't need to hit hard to make this a problem, he just needs to hit enough

So Taylor is in fact gonna keep going for the eyes, got it

At least Velocity gets to keep his, last guy wasn't so lucky

Okay so first off, who the fuck at the Protectorate signed off on this man not wearing a cup? Extra mobility and reduced friction my ass, that's a sacrifice you make so your dick doesn't get punched clean off your body

Also Taylor, honey, I really don't know if there's something he'll ever accept as recompense for this, especially because I don't think the two of you are ever gonna work together outside of truce conditions. Even if you do manage to swing becoming a hero (which I think she does) there's no way they're having you work alongside someone you beat and humiliated this thoroughly

Yeah this man is not the local Protectorate boss for nothing, no kidding he's kicking ass like this

For all that I think Armsmaster has acted like a massive tool, his versatility and competence really can't be understated. I think there's still bad match-ups for him, even or especially in the Bay when you're looking at hitters like Purity, but I don't think that's really insurmountable for him. Hard, absolutely, but not insurmountable.

Tattletale getting desperate, I think. Obviously the hostages worked great against the Wards last time, no reason to think it wouldn't work against the Protectorate, except of course Armsmaster isn't going to allow a hostage to be taken

Bitch ilu

No for real, Bitch I love you

What an incredible display of defiance and trust. She doesn't bother with the head games, she's just like "oh you really don't want to turn your back on Skitter, she'll fuck you up like she did Lung"

Of course Skitter does kinda fumble on the pass but that's okay, she's learning

EDIT: also, of course her smile is unnerving Taylor, it’s a threat display, you know this about her

Haha, oh no

I wonder if this whole sequence would've gone differently if Emma wasn't there to fuel Skitter's rage and spite. Probably, right?

So, they're both idiots, is the thing

Skitter knew going into this that Armsmaster has an ego thing, that he soured on her between their first and second meetings because she tarnished the big win on his record. So far her team has defeated and embarrassed every Ward and Protectorate member in the building except for him, and as the leader of the latter and mentor of the former that already reflects poorly on him, setting aside the fact that villains crashed a fundraiser to lift morale and trust in the Protectorate/PRT. There was no way he was ever going to fold on this.

Meanwhile, Armsmaster has already completely written Skitter off as a loss. She cost him the glory of taking Lung down, she absolutely punked the Wards during the bank job (which again reflects on him as a mentor), and she's clearly in over her head as a rookie. But he could still pull her out of the villain life at this point, she's still got a hand outstretched even though their last meeting broke down (because he was having a fit over his tarnished glory) and all he has to do is meet her there. And he doesn't, because he can't compromise like that. Because it might reflect poorly on him. Because this apparently certain win against some upstart thieves is worth more than a hypothetical takedown of whoever is backing them.

And now Armsmaster has to eat seven hundred wasps for his trouble

Alright cool now get the fuck out of there

Taylor what are you fucking talking about, you could not be more bound to the Undersiders at this point

Current Thoughts

Armsmaster really put up the numbers on this chapter, man was fighting like eight-to-one for most of this sequence and it was a close fucking thing. It's a shame his personality sucks or else I'd almost be tempted to root for him in a way

Still thinking about how Miss Militia resorted to a machete to pin Regent down, like how is that one not a threat of lethal force

Velocity made a good showing, got some hits in, but. Nobody in their right mind should ever skip out on protecting the groin. Points deducted for an easily avoidable loss

And holy shit the Undersiders managed to pull this one together. They've still got Dauntless and an absolutely pissed Armsmaster to still deal with, but the worst kind of defeat is already cleared and even if they were to lose they'd have still dealt a massive blow to the heroes

...which is why I'm still a little stunned that between the mission and the conversation with Armsmaster Taylor still thinks she can walk away from this clean. Lil delusional on that one, hon.

[msmc-796-official]

Mission Report: Comms Transcript #1

[BEGIN TRANSMISSION]

Angel: [static noises as the audio cuts in] -get outta my way, Slipshod! I can't line up my shots with your Toku's fat ass in the way.

Slipshod: Like hell I will! Go steal one of Kennedi's kills, you thief!

Angel: Not that one, dipshit, the one behind y- shit! Slipshod, watch your six!

Slipshod: Huh-? Ah, fu- [radio cuts out]

[transmission picks up a barrage of gunfire]

Lockbreaker: Heads up!

[transmission picks up the loud THWACK! of metal on metal, followed by a burst of Flayer shotgun fire]

Lockbreaker: You're welcome. Be more careful next time, Slipshod; you're lucky my D/D wasn't charged.

Slipshod: Oh, piss off. Was that the last of them?

Angel: Command says there's one more left. Big one, from the looks of it. Approaching due north-northeast, though they can't get a clean scan of it.

Lockbreaker: Command, this is Lockbreaker. Requesting coordinates of remaining hostile; do you copy?

[transmission picks up faint radio chatter]

Lockbreaker: Coordinates incoming. Is that it over there? The big grey thing?

Slipshod: Big grey...? Aw, fuck, not another Balor. Son of a bitch. I'm already pushing heat cap. Welp, might as well torch some nanites on the way out.

Angel: Balor? Why does it... wait... no... [radio cuts out]

Lockbreaker: Command, this is Detachment 796 "Heaven's Fury" reporting in, requesting permission to break formation and engage with the enemy. Lancer MSMC-796-1 "Lockbreaker" is active and ready to engage. Slipshod, Angel, status report.

Slipshod: Lancer MSMC-796-2 "Slipshod", active and ready.

Angel: ... [extended radio silence]

Lockbreaker: Angel! Status report!

Angel: [muffled] Something is wrong...

Slipshod: Phoenix? Are you okay?

Angel: Something is wrong. Something is not right. Why do we know you? Why do I- we- I- [radio cuts out]

Slipshod: Phoenix! Shit, fuck, not now! Command, this is Slipshod. Lancer Angel has been compromised. I repeat, Lancer MSMC-796-3 "Angel" has been compromised. Requesting disengagement from combat on her behalf, over. [radio crackles in the affirmative] Kennedi, do you think you can keep our Balor friend distracted for a bit? I gotta get Phoenix to snap out of it.

Lockbreaker: I can certainly try. Any advice on engaging?

Slipshod: In a word? Don't. Greywash is sentient and hungry and wants to eat you alive. Keep your distance, and whatever you do, do NOT get hit by anything its nanites turn into.

Lockbreaker: Roger that. Engaging the target! Commencing D/D charge sequence!

[transmission picks up Flayer shotgun fire]

Slipshod: Angel! Angel, do you copy? I'm gonna get you outta the line of fire, hang tight!

[transmission picks up the sound of a ramjet firing]

Angel: Something is- something- we- I- whuh? Hello? Is someone there?

Slipshod: Angel! It's Slipshod! Do you copy?

Angel: I - we- no no nO NO NO GET AWAY-!!!

[transmission picks up the sound of stray gunfire]

Slipshod: Shit! Phoenix, hold it together! It's me, Slipshod! You're okay! I'm not going to hurt you.

Angel: [erratic] Something is wrong, something is not right, why are you here, where did it go, why do we know it, why does it know us, where are we, I'm going to die, we're already dead, no, no, please-

Slipshod: Phoenix! Please, calm down, you're okay-

[transmission picks up a concentrated burst of Flayer fire, followed by a low drone that crescendos into an angry buzzing whine]

Lockbreaker: Slipshod! It keeps eating my bullets! I need to charge my D/D to get a clean hit on its hull; can you take over for me?

Slipshod: Phoenix is still out of it; she's having DHIYED flashbacks again. I think the Balor may have triggered something. I'll swap, but for the love of RA, keep her away from it! The fighting's only making it worse.

Lockbreaker: ...roger that. Is she hostile?

Slipshod: No, I don't think so - her weapons systems are still active, but she's too disoriented to aim properly. Just keep close and she won't be able to get a shot on you. Restrain the arms if you gotta. Now go, and watch your four! I'll cover you!

[transmission picks up the sound of a ramjet firing into the near distance, followed by an explosion of Annihilator fire]

Slipshod: Hey, asshole! Come get some! [radio cuts out beneath the sound of blaring warning sirens]

Lockbreaker: Phoenix? Phoenix! It's Kennedi! Are you in there?

Angel: Something is not- something is- hello? Hello? Who's there? Show yourself!

Lockbreaker: Phoenix! It's Kennedi! I'm a friend! You're alright, you're alive, you survived. You're still here.

Angel: We- I- we're alive? I-I'm alive... still alive... Kennedi, why are you here? You have to go, we have to- [radio cuts out]

Lockbreaker: Phoenix, please, you're completely safe. I'm here. We're here. We're alive, we're okay.

Angel: I... we... I'm alive. I'm still here. It's just me, and Kennedi, and we're alive together, and we're safe, and we're okay. I... oh, my head...

Lockbreaker: Phoenix? Are you okay?

Angel: I... I'm fine. I just... ngh... I'll be okay. What's going on? Where are we? Where's Slipshod?

Lockbreaker: Slipshod's busy fighting a Balor. We're still in combat. They got you out, and I swapped out for them to draw fire away from you while you were out. Does that make sense?

Angel: The Balor... yes... oh, shit, wait, the Balor! Slipshod, I copy! I'm back! Where are you?

Slipshod: Phoenix, Kennedi, over here! [radio cuts out as the nanite droning hits fever pitch, then recedes] -therfucker, get back here! Don't you dare lose interest now! HEY! Eyes on me, jackass!

[transmission picks up sounds of gunfire mixed with the sizzle of plasma and whine of nanites]

Angel: I got your six, Slipshod! Keep at it!

Lockbreaker: My D/D is charged and ready to go! Can you get clear, Slipshod?

Slipshod: Yes ma'am! Eat plasma, you sonofa- [radio cuts out beneath the noise of a ramjet firing]

Lockbreaker: Bracing for impact! D/D 288 weapons system is charged and aimed! Clear the area!

Angel: Area secured; you're all clear!

Slipshod: Give 'em hell, galpal!

[transmission picks up nanite droning, interspersed with the mechanical whine of thrusters spinning up and crackling plasma]

Lockbreaker: Opening fire! DEEDEE GET OUT!!!

[transmission cuts off with the sound of thunder, cut with the mechanical screech of nanites]

[END TRANSMISSION]

[warriorsweaver]

Original Warriors covers vs new covers, a tangential word vomit analysis by me: ORIGINALS Into the Wild really pulls you in. Who are they? Why does the one on the right look vicious? What's up here?

Fire and Ice is like, "Shit's going DOWN." The little square with Fireheart and Graystripe sitting for their vigil is beautiful. Love the moon. Love the difference in colors between the square and the battle in the background.

Forest of Secrets is breathtaking. It's easily one of my favorite book covers ever. Fireheart's back is exposed, the story dives into betrayal, and the cats crossing the stepping stones is ... just perfect.

Rising Storm with the hunting sequence and itty bitty fluffy lil baby Cloudtail. I wanna scoop him up and snuggle him and give him churus. The background looks beautiful. I want to go there. It contrasts well with the tension of one cat stalking another.

A Dangerous Path with that LIGHNTNING IN THE BACKGROUND omg middle school me was obsessed. That's the one I remember seeing my friend read and then I finally asked her what those books were. I remember thinking, "I can't wait to get to that book," because it was clear some big stuff was going on in it.

The Darkest Hour is so calm and really gives eye of the storm vibes, and Firestar seeing his reflection as a lion is beautiful and an excellent payoff.

NEW COVERS The new covers are like, "This is a cat," and that's about it. Great. Yeah, that's a cat. A pretty kitty, one might say.

Into the Wild's is okay. Rusty looks a bit baby-faced, as to be expected, and his eye is well-done. I like the grass, but also it looks like he's just popping up from it even though I feel like the intent is that he's supposed to be stalking through the foliage? On Fire and Ice's cover, I can tell that's Tigerclaw. Looks like the still shot of a villain in an anime while they're plotting their Evildoings and you can hear their inner monologue. But he also looks like a very old bearded man, for some reason. The little embers against the wintry background is a nice touch. Why is Forest of Secrets golden? Why is the river piss? Why is it sparkly? This does not invoke long-buried secrets being unearthed and changing lives, reputations, and social statuses. It has more of a "summer vacations that last forever" bright and pretty vibe. Rising Storm is ... eh. Red. Fiery. Okay. But the overly airbrushed, sparkly-eyed kitty doesn't show me that tensions are building. It just looks like kitty is doing a photoshoot for their Insta. I think that's Yellowfang?? A Dangerous Path is, like, where is that light coming from and why? Nothing here looks dangerous. The cat looks like it's being blinded. I don't even know which cat that's supposed to be. The forest background is dark to remind us that this is a DANGEROUS path but forests are dark at night and not inherently dangerous because they're dark. Aaannd then we get to The Darkest Hour. All they had to do was include a fucking lion somewhere. It would've been cool even if it was sitting behind Firestar. It doesn't look like he's looking at his reflection. It looks ... I don't even know. The water effect would work much better if it looked like it was rippling outward from somewhere? Instead, they made it look like the water is moving in an outline around his head, which doesn't make any sense. It's sourceless. Where does the movement start? Where is it going? I don't know. I can't tell.

The close-up face shots with little to nothing intriguing going on around the cats doesn't make me wonder anything about the story. It doesn't pull me in. There is so little space around them. It feels like when you wake up and you feel your cat's breath against your nose and their paw is in your mouth and they're yowling at you because they're STARVING and you're like, "Dude, I love you, but get out of my face." ty for reading my rant. please return to your regularly scheduled day. Have a good one.

edit: just wanted to toss out there that the artist of the new covers has amazing work in his portfolio, and my issue isn't with him nor his art as a whole, just that the direction (which is probably on the publishers' end) lacks "oomph" and doesn't do the drama in the Warriors series justice. Also, with as many books as there are in the series, it's important that each book's cover is distinct, and the newer covers don't quite hit that mark.

[loquaciousquark]

Final Thoughts

Okay! I went back and replayed the final sequence again and was much, much happier with both how everyone looked sans helmets and with some randomly varied flavor text in the background. I remain really, really happy overall with how this game ended both generally and for my particular runthrough.

The run-up to the Morphic Pool was really, REALLY creepy, and I liked the ways they threw all the li'l brainies at you to start wearing down the group resources. It does remain hilarious that the noodle-armed rogue was rowing the boat, though maybe that's why we couldn't get out of the way of the stalactite in time. The brain was fun gross and I couldn't quite tell--was the voice the same as the narrator? That would have been a nice touch! I did absolutely roll a natural 20 on that DC 99 check to Dominate the Brain (loved that setup in the dialogue window), but alas, the brain took off to destroy everything anyway. The biggest issue I had here was figuring out how to get past that dumb pile of rocks for that very mediocre chest.

In the Astral Plane, I managed to get enough brains to craft several potions of psychic resistance that I never used, but which made me feel better to have. There was never a chance my Tav was going to let Orpheus stay bound (I'm still working on her backstory, but I know she comes into the game feeling strongly anti-authoritarian and only gets moreso over the course of the events), so the only question I had was what was going to happen to the Emperor when I made that choice.

Sidebar--the Ansur fight & environ was one of my absolute favorite locales of the entire game. I loved the set design, the puzzles, the music, the reveals, and the final fight--I thought it was a fantastic setpiece altogether, and the reveal that the Dream Guardian was not only an illithid, but Balduran, made me actually gasp. Getting a conclusion to that questline as narratively satisfying as this one made me really happy, and Wyll's response to its conclusion with his dad--becoming the Blade of Avernus--I also thought was incredibly fitting for both that character and the choices he made within this world.

Anyway, I played through becoming an illithid just to see what happened (Astarion's comment about preferring any option that doesn't change your beautiful face--I felt that, bro), and as soon as I saw that grey triangle torso I was like, nope, sorry Prince, tagging you right back in on this one. Just can't do it, even when the fate of the city's on the line. I've spent too many hours looking at her janky eyes and her scarred lip to turn them all into tentacles now. I wasn't surprised the Emperor turned on me, but I didn't expect him to just full-on go Netherbrain and leave us in his rainbow skull.

I loved, loved, love the rally scene in the High Hall. What an awesome way to remind you of how many ways you've made a difference in some of these quests. The owlbear & Dannon along with the Strange Ox were my favorites, but seeing Barcus, Zevlor, and even Isobel & Dame Aylin was just wonderful. Really loved this entire sequence.

This is the first time I've ever really both utilized summoned allies in a big fight like this and also felt how much they turned the tide! A fantastic balanced encounter in the courtyard, and I called down so many Harpers & Fists & the owlbear & the dragonfire (so COOL) and Yurgir (got stuck in a building and did poke damage for the rest of the fight) and Rolan's tower (absolutely LOVED that you could save his fam & they could come live with him). It truly took an encounter that was really, really difficult into something absolutely manageable and in some ways quite easy. They told you to gather allies and by GOD I GATHERED ALLIES. I feel rewarded for my exploration!!

Of course, it then became utterly paramount to keep all summoned allies alive, but thankfully that wasn't much of an issue. My rogue by the end of this had Celestial Haste, two cunning action dashes, extra movement from momentum, and could easily clear 120+ ft a round and still have actions at the end of her movement. Plus she had a longbow that gave Guiding Bolt on a hit (GOD it's such a good longbow, I want to go back and play more combat just to play with it again), so even the few times the mindflayers were able to Dominate some Harpers I was able to get over there with either her or Lae'zel jumping rampart to rampart across the entire map & break their concentration. A super fun, exciting fight with a lot of variety. Orpheus is powerful as a mindflayer! The power is not small! He just doesn't have a horizontal mouth or a nose anymore & I can't do that to Tav!

Still never figured out how to get into that blocked-off area at the south of that map. Found a random forum post that suggested there was a chasm you could jump into to access the "Upper City Sewers," but the only things I found in the chasms was death, womp womp.

Anyway, got up to the brain (very cool cutscene! Not a snowball's chance my Tav was actually able to haul herself up that stem!) and REALLY liked the brain fight. I didn't have any issues navigating it (though a timer on the battle is always cool!) and only got Lae'zel & Orpheus killed once on the first run when I didn't understand how the Marked for Negation electric balls worked. The final cutscene where the brain fell in the water was beautifully animated; I loved seeing those NPCs keep cropping up in this sequence. I liked the image of everyone hauling themselves out of the bay onto the dock & Astarion complaining bitterly about how often he's having to swim on this trip.

My first run-through of the final dock conversation made me very sad. I didn't like Minsc's pithy comment about sunflowers for Astarion at all, and I hated watching Karlach's heart break behind that hideous helmet. (The stats were so good, and the aesthetics were so awful...she was in my party 99% of the time so Hide Helmet worked almost always...except when it mattered the most, ugh.) The second time, being able to see her face & Wyll's really helped that scene land and it really, really worked for me. I still don't think there's a fantastic in-universe Watsonian explanation for why we can't fix her engine for good with all these acres of infernal iron we've been collecting, but ACCEPTING THAT ON FACE VALUE FOR THE MOMENT I thought the writing and acting in that entire sequence were beautiful. Karlach's voice actress in particular just wrecked me. Beautiful, beautiful writing at the end; just wish the structural tentpoles were a little stronger to justify the moment.

On my second, helmet-less runthrough, when Astarion started to burn, Halsin made a much more sober comment along the lines of "he will miss that freedom; it may be some time before we see him again," and I much preferred that. It felt right in line with how my Tav felt about the situation, and she was very grateful for his empathy there. I still wish we'd figured out a way to have a celebration or something together, though I appreciate Wyll & Karlach's absence would have put a serious damper on things.

I am glad, I think, that I waited to see Karlach's ending after the patch. This read so determinedly hopeful, even with the very bittersweet sting, that I think to have anything less would have really undercut her journey even more than the options we currently have. All in all, I was very satisfied with sending her and Wyll to Avernus while we figure out how to fix her. Their final cutscene charging into the credits was the bomb.

The Astarion wrap-up scene was almost, ALMOST perfect. The choice to tell him we'd find a way to get him back in the sun was EXACTLY what I wanted to say (which was a theme in this game--there were only a handful of places in the entire game where I was frustrated by not being able to react the way I wanted--so impressive, Larian!). I just wish they'd been able to have one kiss in a room with walls and a ceiling, weh.

Anyway! The game is over, I'm immensely satisfied with all outcomes and party storylines with a few minor asterisks here and there, and I'm already plotting out several pieces to flesh out the places I want to explore. The characters are so rich and dynamic and reactive, the world feels so very real and robust, and I'm eager to live in it a little longer. I don't think I'm going to start another playthrough anytime soon--for me my first run is usually "canon", and I want to sit and marinate in this version of the world a little longer--but eventually I'll probably try a Durge just to see what the deal is. It'll honestly be incredibly hard not to romance Astarion, but we'll see! Maybe I'll just make Tavish again with a tweaked backstory. I don't know much about the Durge at all, so it'd be pretty blind!

What a good game. What a good time! I probably will go back and see what achievements I can pull easily--I was delighted to get one for "saving every tiefling possible through the end of the game," yeah boiiiii. Now to unblacklist everyone and see what the heck I've missed out on while spending every waking moment smooching an insufferable elf!

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

So uhhh. Saejima's part. Yeah. How do I put this...

It really didn't do it for me, personally? 😭 There are some very good moments there, truly! I just. Don't have a lot so say about it. I played 'till before the kidnapping thing.

First, we gotta get the most important part out of the way:

Saejima's lucky plushie for the game will be Donpen-kun!

Somehow ended up going on a big tangent about Majima's situation right at the beginning.

I guess this crisis is understandable, though. Tojo is (at least outwardly) bigger than ever, the Hills project is done, Saejima's not on death row anymore and knows the story behind '85. He's at a crossroads right now; what does he want to do now? He lived for more than two decades waiting for this whole thing to come to a head, it did, and now there's... options. And time is ticking - they're not getting any younger. And there's no going back to how things were before shit it the fan, so something new is gonna have to happen.

Kiryu's midlife crisis? Kinda expected. Majima's midlife crisis? Did NOT expect it. I love these moments where we get to hear what's truly going on in his head, even just a little bit. He's a deeper thinker than the people around him would ever give him credit for.

I mean.... not sure if Majima is talking about physical or mental slowness taking over, probably both? He's so used to there constantly being a big stressor somewhere, always having so much to do, having to be on guard. When it's all starting to simmer down after all those years and there's this stability (though it's fragile), I feel like everything WOULD start to catch up to him and he'd really start to FEEL those years. Stress has such a massive effect on your physical and mental well-being that I shouldn't really be surprised this kind of crash is happening.

Physical side? He canonically doesn't eat very well (at least not in Kiwami, he says he practically lives on fast food) and he probably kept having nightmares like in Y0, so sleep is probably not good either. I'm also a firm believer that the year in The Hole left a physical impact as well, maybe some chronic pain that's really making itself known as he's aged? All that on top of, well, just natural aging.

I can see why he'd feel he's no longer got the same OOMPH as before. And while I can't relate to this in terms of aging, my own chronic illness has significant effects on my ability to function at times, and it can be very frustrating to feel your body just... not doing as well as before.

I'm eager to see how this develops.

OKAY, SAEJIMA. Uhhh. Prison! The Joint! Not gonna lie, I was kind of... bored with the prison section.

I like the fact that the game took the time to address the anxiety of prisoners who are getting out after long sentences. They have no idea what kind of world is waiting out there. Will they manage to get a job? Will they become homeless? That's terrifying!

But in terms of the rest of it... Personally I didn't really click with Saejima's cellmates and it was a whole lot of... running around this empty map. If I'd managed to grow fond of, say Baba, the whole stabbing mystery would have kept me more engaged. They did add those dream/imagination sequences, but it was. Ehhh.

WE GOT SAEJIMA KAROKE!! And I did somehow get the Bakamitai full score while on that imagination date with Kaguya! Saejima's singing voice is gorgeous.

When the plot kicked in, it got interesting for a bit. They're really trying to get rid of all the past and current MVPs of the Tojo Clan real fast. Very aggressive, feels more and more like Omi is behind this and one of them is pulling strings in the Tojo side of things.

Thank you for everything Kosaka, my king. You will not be forgotten🫡

Lord almighty, up in the heavens... you better not make me drive this contraption or I swear-

*inhuman screeching sound* NOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭

Huh. Honestly at a loss for words, here. That's a whole bear.

...

I mean, sure!! Why not! Kiryu took on tigers while healing from a stab wound, this might as well happen.

VERY niche reference that only people from the Nordics will probably understand, but. A huge man-eating bear terrorizing a remote village? And a badass, gruff loner of an old hunter has beef with that specific bear? What's next, a young akita inu comes to fight it with a pack of 1000+ fellow dogs and eventually lops its head off with a supernatural technique?

please watch the Silver Fang anime it's nuts

I honestly don't have ANYTHING else to say about the hunting village section😭 We hunted, we talked, we left. We chilled. Literally and in terms of vibes.

I LOVED the look of Tsukimino! My favourite town in terms of looks and vibe this far. But then I realized how hellish that town is to move around in because of all the narrow streets and only being able to move across roads in specific spots and angles. Made the town feel very small. It's a shame.

Bear 2 was a very funny addition. Got a genuine laugh out of me. I guess it's only fair; Kiryu fought two tigers, why should Saejima get away with only one bear?

Kidnapping plot is sounding INSANE right now, how the HELL will they pull this one off.

[bluebudgie]

So I have this long-standing tradition where, after I finish a video game, I sit down and listen to the soundtrack outside of the game's context.

It serves as a sort of "conclusion" to the experience and simultaneously helps me evaluate the game as a whole a little better... After all the soundtrack is often what sticks with us long after we're done actively playing a game. It preserves the memories we've made along the way.

That means: I have finally found the FF Sixteen OST online in its entirety and could finally follow through with this tradition. (Debatable how much it applies considering I didn't actually play the game myself, but it felt necessary.)

The final missing piece to the pissbaby gamer rage essay. Significantly less raging this time, though.

It's okay. I don't love it. There's worse.

I had very unfavourable opinions of the OST during the game itself which might have been due to the overall pacing issues, where large stretches were filled with the same hub music and then everything bombastic all happened at once and either side of the coin was exhausting in its own way.

I still can't believe there are over 200 songs in the OST when I could have sworn I heard like. Maybe 10 or so during gameplay. A lot of it is very same-y. A large part of the OST can be split into "loud choir explosion" or "sad piano". There isn't a whole lot in between. Good for people who like it, not so much for me.

Which means my biggest issue is the very subjective "I just don't like the style". It's not a bad soundtrack, but I'm just really not a fan of the direction the music took. The battle themes are over the top (fair for the equally over the top DBZ kaijū battles, annoying with 3 wolves that show up on the side of the road). The calmer songs don't really hit right for me. No chord progressions or melodies that hook me. Unfortunate. I did however appreciate the electronic influences in the music when the alien baddies were on screen. (in this fantasy game that is based on medieval reality and that's why people of colour cant exi-)

I have also since learned that there isn't one acoustic guitar song that plays for 20 hours straight. There are like 6 or so that all sound the same. I don't know if that makes it better or worse. I hate them all. (I don't hate acoustic guitars. It's these songs in particular.)

That said - I was curious about which ones are people's favourite tracks of the OST and went checking those out in particular. Consistently in people's tops was Ascension and I can't deny that one's been plagueing (semi-endearing) my memory a bunch the past days. Probably the theme that stuck out the most to me while watching the game. If not the entire theme, then at the very least That Violin Part. If you know, you know.

You know what. If you don't know, here:

(footage stolen from here)

Like damn. Good rhythm going on there with the off beats. Also fits the relevant character nicely in terms of mood. And I like that the battle phase before this one has a more low-key version of this song playing before it goes into this full ham version.

I just kinda wish more of the battle music had been a bit more... this. A bit more... subtle. Like yes it slaps hard but this song legitimately feels calm in comparison to the other battle tracks. This drives me nuts.

There's one other song I keep getting stuck in my head which is one that plays fairly close to the end (in the final... "dungeon" (cutscene? sequence? QTE battle?)). I figured out today that I don't actually really enjoy listening to the song on its own but I like it in-game in combination with the voice perfomance. There's an interesting dissonance in it that blends super nicely with the voice acting. (I'm being held hostage by the game's voice acting. It's unfortunately way too good. Voice actors are once again holding too much power over me.)

Other than that... I have one final criticism. The prelude theme. We must. Leave it. Alone. Enough. It's fine playing once as a gimmick somewhere in the game (I do genuinely like the menu (pause screen?) arrangement) but having it woven into what seems like every 5th song feels like someone is smacking a sign into your face that screams "YOU ARE PLAYING A FINAL FANTASY GAME." Seriously it's unbearable. (Also I did take notice of the FF1 overworld theme being rearranged into a battle theme for the final segment of the game. I don't know why, but fine. Not complaining about that one.)

Overall it's a solid "mh" from me. Not the worst OST we've had in the series (thirteen trilogy exis-COUGHAGFNJKN) but definitely on the lower end for me. Not of bad quality, but not my cup of tea at all. Dark Souls III OST executed the epic orchestra choirs better somehow. More interesting composition. Spaced out better throughout the game. Idk.

Welp. Back to getting haunted by voices and violins now o/

[itsdappleagain]

WOOHOO! Let's kick off #csweekly!

I think I'll dump all of my thoughts onto one post as we go along...and I have a lot of thoughts so sorry this is gonna be LONG

Firstly, before I start the episode, AAA I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS!!! I haven't actually truly rewatched CS in sooo long

Okay, let's go. Why don't we ever talk about the intros? Like the grabbing of the hat and then later that as part of the black and white/red intro sequence? MWAH.

Chase's headlights illuminate spots on the screen when they turn towards the "camera!"

I love this introduction to the entire show. It really makes us feel like we're part of this mystery, investigating this thief with Chase and Julia (until...well...everything gets directly told to us via flashbacks 8 minutes in..). It tells us everything we basically need to know about how Carmen operates in like 30 seconds.

Let's take a moment to appreciate the art style of this show....oh my gosh. The lighting the texturing the lineless agh its so good

I guess I haven't thought about it for a little while, but I guess Chase slamming on the breaks is supposed to fake us out thinking that he has seen Carmen's shadow. It sets up how idiotic of a detective he is, while Julia is observant and actually makes connections. I really like this early (VERY early) setup to how their relationship is going to work. However, at the same time, the show is really gunning for us to root for Julia when she starts infodumping. Chase is clearly the asshole. I can't help but wondering, though, if the show undercuts the importance of Julia's research by IMMEDIATELY cutting away to something "more interesting" (Carmen) as soon as she starts talking. What do you think?

I like how Carmen just shoots out of the alleyway and looks at them for a solid minute. She's just like 👁️👁️ i mean we KNOW it doesn't take her that long to use her grappling hook. She was just watching them

LA FEMME ROGUE

Chase's damage of cars starts at not even 2 minutes into the entire show <3

anyway

CARMEN'S DRAMATIC CHARACTER INTRO MY BELOVED <3

ALSO another shoutout to the SCORE OH MY GOD RELEASE AN OST CS TEAM

when you think about it does player's character intro ever seem a little clumsy to you? ooh yeah its player glad to hear he's on board girl you've known him for years girl. girl. he's always on board.

i love player's robots and machines everywhere <3

YEAH SORRY. SCORE AND ANIMATION AGAIN WHEN SHE'S RUNNING ACROSS THE ROOFTOPS. FRAMED BY THE MOON? OUGH

she's so unnecessary <3 you did not have to swing that grappling hook around like a whip but im so glad you did girlie

i adore how her usb is disguised like a lipstick as if subtlety was ever her thing ever. like when on earth would someone catch her in the full red coat and fedora and then be like "oh ok well there's nothing suspicious here other than the grappling hook, hang glider, and taser so I'll let you go ok

PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE YOU REALLY DONT CARE ABOUT THIS RANDOM OTHER SIGNAL THAT COULD GET YOU KILLED

OUGH THE LIGHTING WHEN SHE'S DROPPING DOWN FROM THE CEILING

just. just move. you could have just moved out of the way

her hat bending upwards when she's listening against the fake atrium <3

i love carmen's jokes about player being a little internet cave troll do we ever get more of those?? i feel like we don't and I wish we did. their dynamic is so fun when its just the two of them, which is like. never again

sorry. gina's vocal fry when she says "job." that is all

the elevator gag is actually so funny

imagine not taking the stairs 5-9 at a time. chase doesn't skip leg day smh

i love the feeling of suspense this safe cracking gives us paired with chase running up to arrest her. its fun because she gets to show off and have a lot of fun with him. but at the same time, we rarely get this feeling of suspense again when it comes to confrontations- only big boss battles like Coach Brunt, Shadow-san, and cold weather

chase used his whole entire face to ram through that door

the bag tightening is so iconic i can only be grateful that she does it again later on in the show

chase: ive never had one run AT me before

does anyone ever hear the sound that chase's hair makes when it gets slicked back? because it is a SQUISH. his hair is. so saturated with gel that his hair SQUISHES

i like how it takes chase a sec when she's reading his name from the badge I like to think he thinks he's just THAT well known of an agent that she knows him

i also like that he just stands there for a sec after she grapples through the ceiling like shit now what

free him

carmen is funny i will give her that. she can also FLY apparently because she' jumping like 25 feet no problem

the grabbing of her hat as she jumps off backwards and the backwards smirk and the oh my god im so gay ok

also julia. and the horror on chase's face dhfas

dark carmen let carmen be mean, hot, and speak other languages more and that is why i want her to come back please

chase what in the goddamn fuck

ever think about how chase landing on this car right now eventually led to julia joining acme because i do

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO (TITLE CARD) (THEME MUSIC). YES BARK BARK OUGSHDFH BARK

see chase can be smart but like that one tumblr post he can be blindingly intelligent for a minute a day and he does not get to choose when that is

CARMEN CHANGING AS THE TRAIN GOES BY INTO HER CIVILIAN OUTFIT IS SOOO ICONIC

chase continuing to ruin the car as he drives along and keeps failing is the funniest fucking thing. the comedic timing of the airbag.

THE DOUBT ON JULIA'S FACE WHEN CHASE CALLS HER "JULIA" AND COMPLIMENTS HER KILLS ME EVERY TIME

driving aggressively, of course

chase is responsible for 85% of carmen's stupid nicknames on the wiki and i love him for that

i think its half funny and half sad that carmen doesn't do anything to defend herself when gray aims the crackle rod at her. its a trend with people she thinks she can trust: she still sees him as her brother, not someone who would kill her, stun her, etc.

i love the dramatic dropping of the bag just because gray esentially gave her the equivalent electric shock of rubbing a balloon against your hair

something i dislike about carmen's character is that whenever it matters carmen is ALWAYS one step ahead of whoever doing whatever. they couldn't have had us start off by seeing her as flawed but competent, cocky but still human by having gray track her here. it would have immediately set VILE up as a real threat. but instead its just the girlboss badass gray is an idiot moment. idk

i like how they had to do the match cut but they also had to make black sheep excited so they just had blacksheep go >:) and then as soon as coach brunt used her vocal cords she went :D !!!!

why is the program only one year is my question

where does coach get all of the phones to dramatically smash

black sheep, at this time knowing full ass well that she has a contraband phone when brunt smashes one: U👄U

she said SNATCH

gray laughs with all of his teeth out

they gave black sheep insecurities about her past with gray solely so they could show us black sheep having those insecurities about her past with gray to gray by black sheep

google says it takes roughly two hours to go from poitiers to paris by train. just a fun fact

hang on why was carmen going to paris by train? they didn't even have indonesia scheduled until she got there. why didn't she take zack and ivy to poitiers?? why was their rendezvous two hours away?? why didn't ivy have ANY TIME AT ALL TO GET ZACK A SNACK?? WHY DIDN'T ZACK HAVE TIME TO GET A SNACK

the biggest nesting doll has some weird inconsistency with the burn design- sometimes its there, sometimes it isn't. i wonder why carmen never ever brings it up though?

little black sheep is so cute

actually though these are some of my least favorite parts- the big long flashbacks. in my opinion, it would have been interesting to find out about carmen's past as we went along...maybe through ivy or something, or just little tidbits. like we'd get some basic information- that she used to be with VILE- but we would uncover the details with the detectives and her team. idk. little me when i first watched this show was SO confused by the flashbacks but then again my comprehension for shit is SO BAD. i literally had no clue what was going on

that nanny just standing by as carmen smears an entire tube of lipstick on the walls

LITTLE CARMEN IS SO CUTE

its very interesting how they wash out black sheep's hair when she's in VILE spaces to fit with the color schemes that are such a prominent part of this show.

little carmen was also an asshole wheeze

THEY ARE D I V I N G OUT OF THE WAY guess they learned from notyourpants guy

girl i dont think your legs are supposed to do that

why is the captain just putting claws up like what were you going to do maul her

the poor captain got the short end of the stick every single time

carmen stole someone's wedding ring so true

the crop top with the overalls is my FAVORITE outfit of black sheep's omg

carmen, like every single other teenager, drew giant eyeballs on her papers

absolutely incredible that carmen who has at this point pressed a few buttons on a phone once knows how to text and call no problem

player, calling random places: what is your full name and address please. well i know your address but what is your full name

ALSO player's room accumulating all that stuff in the years that go by is so cute

can you imagine. player just usually gives out his real name and the only reason he didn't this time was because carmen had a weird ass name

"thats a thing" HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A HACKER IS

also how does she know what right and wrong is

lets imagine for a second player called some faculty phone line or something and professor maelstrom got this ten year old asking to aid the biggest crime network in the world just because he could and also knew nothing at all

kinda cool that they put in the weird...sewer grate or whatever that carmen later escapes out of in the shot where she's on the beach

maelstrom changes hand positions from when he asks black sheep why she requested an audience (hands clasped with thumbs up and touching) to when he says to enroll (villain steepled fingers) and then he goes back to the first on the wide shot

i admire how organically they introduce the names of all the faculty in this scene

appreciation for "the gurl is fehhahhral"

AND THEN HE GOES BACK TO STEEPLE FINGERS

i enjoy how harsh the lighting is in the faculty room. its just white on the characters

i LOVE rewatching these episodes with the lens of shadowsan's REAL motivations mmmm

i also like how black sheep really thinks about shadowsan's words

MAEL WENT BACK TO THUMBS UP CLASPED HANDS ITS ok whatever

why don't the music notes line up with the faculty raising their hands after two or three sob

where does shadowsan even walk off to. is there a door over there or does he just awkwardly scoot off and through the big doors

what the hell are even in front of black sheep's dorms a tennis court??

also i thought those dorms were where her room was where is she moving from

she tied her whole globe up with rope to walk 100 feet

mime bomb being in the background for all of this <3

i like all of the VILE Class's introductions. EL Topo is kind, Le Chevre is a bit dismissive but courteous, and Tigress is...well she's happy until she says her name and then she's a bitch about everything forever and ever

"but were you seeing things from my point of view" actually what other perspective are you giving him here

get rekt aussie boy

so upset they changed this design. the eyeliner, the fluffy hair, the red hair clip. they're so good. she's so cute. all of the young designs are cute actually

they didn't have to animate sheena's ass swaying like that

he's from australia??? really????

i like how gray was just working the soundboards one day and his pay was so bad that he was like "fuck. yeah man I'm breaking every single law. ever."

where the hell did the black on that sheep origami come from. the paper was white on both sides??

shadowsan has the best damn view on the island look at that

cleo's dress. cleo's voice. cleo's

why do they market as an import/export company if they immediately begin training as thieves. why does "villains international league of evil" matter at all

shadowsan has the only class that uses other students. the rest of the classes are main character only. so sad

my favorite part of carmen sandiego is the way they one moment don't allow the characters to say the word kill but in maelstrom's classroom he has human bones and a whole ass brain on display and then they shoot a man dead

no idea how maelstrom dropped his briefcase so that it landed on the other side of tigress's

also i love how they set up some of the two most used concepts in the entire show here: bait and switch and always protect the face

gray is blind we love him for that. she is holding a phone and gas earbuds in.

where did she get earbuds from

point and laugh

so true of le chevre to kick off the stilts the show should have let him win that one, not bs

the poor captain has gone entirely white-haired from this yearly encounter with a child

rita moreno bee cosplay

el topo's laugh is so genuine <3

what was their detention anyway? sit and talk? come up with codenames? seems more like a reward to me

imagine if gray named himself power failure and everyone called him failure

gray is a giraffe

i love the dig at old witwics with the puns for names jkdsghdsa

le chevre is very comfortable on that pole

mime bomb. that is all

class of vile, after a year of sharing a dorm with mime bomb: who the fuck are you

he's iconic

all of the different teacher rooms are sooo cool i love their designs. and once agains color theory coming through with shadowsan's red room!!!

i also like that students get to take exams with their operative gear, as it plays into how effective they will be in the field. however, what happens if someone doesn't graduate?? what happens to all their specialized gear??

she sacrificed a leg for ass. sad :(

i like how tigress acts like a cat

GET SLAPPED TIGRESS

that scrap of fabric flew SO FAR

that little wink tigress does <3

i like how shadowsan has another coat ready and waiting. who's hurt him in the past. he learned

black sheep no don't walk into the camera wait blacwfhghgfh

gray after black sheep failed so hard that she blew the entire year's worth of schooling: damn girl you're so good. best ever actually

i like how they all have to trace their names over to see if they passed like what are you getting lost on the way also getting these grades is exactly like seeing who got cast for the school musical

rip to the random background ops who failed

gray's face is actually just D:

the dutch angle dolly zoom is SOOO GOOD

tigress is still a high school mean girl. elementary school, even. the big kid's table. no children allowed

"looks like someone needs to turn in their stealth suit" black sheep she/they confirmed and sheena respects pronouns

"COME ON LET'S GO PLOT A CAPER" that is so funny to me because vile operatives as we see later NEVER, EVER PLOT THEIR OWN CAPERS

why is carmen's nose so tiny

anyway

seeing black sheep look so short next to shadowsan is so sweet considering she's almost as tall as him later <3

"are you accusing a criminal, thievery, and breaking the law teacher of cheating"

mime bomb for goodness sake. i love the animation of his face emerging from the shadows though

HOW DID SHE SNEAK ONTO THAT HELICOPTER I WILL NEVER KNOW

does anyone know whether CS uses 3d elements for some of their bigger objects like cars, helicopters, the vault door etc.

i like how vile school is completely entirely out in the open not disguised at all

gray: bye bye black sheep black sheep, from the shadows: HAVE YOU ANY WOOL

THE CREDIT MUSIC <3

OKAY so that was my post on the first episode. will they all be this long? who knows. probably. maybe. i'm so excited for this

[wondermadeleine]

Thoughts on the Miraculous movie:

I'll go into details and spoilers under the cut but here's the meat of it:

Too many songs that weren't even that good

The dialogues often felt forced and empty

The animation was so pretty, like???? Their hair? All the time? So cool

We get it, the power of love and listening to your heart, you don't have to say it in every scene

Lots of changes compared to the show, some of them were great and it could have been even better BUT:

It was so fucking rushed wtf? Which kind of explains my second point

THEY ROBBED US OF THE TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCES

In conclusion:

I consider this movie as an alternative universe, a "what could have happened" simply because it derives from the TV show canon so much

I also would have enjoyed it a lot more if it weren't for the songs, they really ruined it for me

Spoilers ahead, I'm gonna tell you the WHOLE plot, you have been warned

The songs

Like... Why would they do that? Were they trying to give it a Disney movie vibe? Because it sure felt like it. Marinette/Ladybug felt very Frozen-inspired, and Hawk Moth's song (yes, Gabriel has a song, several in fact) was very Dr Facilier/Rasputin

And the songs themselves were just... Not Good. There were too many and they were so cheesy. We were maybe 20 in the room, most of us adults, and let me tell you after the first few songs the general reaction to a new one were groans. I ended up saying "please don't sing, please don't sing" several times during the movie but of course my prayers were never answered. And I usually love musicals

Cut out all of the songs, they have 0 emotional impact anyway, replace them with some dialogue and more interactions between the characters to make their relationships feel less rushed and it could have been a really good movie

The plot

We basically get a speedrun of 5 seasons in 1h40min: Marinette and Adrien get their miraculous, learn how to super-hero, we get a time skip with lots of fights against akumatized people, Hawk Moth loses his mind because of "the butterfly" (don't ask me, I don't get it either) and because he can't get LB and CN's miraculouses, so he akumatizes himself, which somehow makes him super powerful and he destroys Paris, manages to get Ladybug's miraculous and right as he's about to get Chat Noir's, he realises that that's his son under the mask and.... purifies? himself? because The Power of Love. So everyone learns who Hawk Moth is but they don't seem to realize who Chat is? That's unclear to me. They definitely don't know about Ladybug though, since the "last" scene of the movie is Marinette telling Adrien who she is and this surprises him somehow, even though Marinette de-transformed and re-transformed in front of everyone during the fight against Hawk Moth, but okay

In the background we of course get the love square, which doesn't stay as "CN/Adrien → LB LB/Marinette → Adrien" very long:

Chat Noir and Ladybug sing a whole ass duet together when he tries to confess but at the end she says no and then we're supposed to believe that she's torn between Adrien and Chat Noir all of a sudden. Marinette then tries to invite Adrien to a ball and he refuses (since he just got rejected by the girl he likes) so they're both dejected and heartbroken. But after the boss battle, as I said, Marinette reveals herself to Adrien and they kiss

Have I mentioned that this movie is 1h40min long?

HOWEVER. The scene cuts to Nathalie going into the basement where Emilie's body is because Gabriel asked her to, and we see that Emilie is wearing the peacock miraculous

So, I guess they're teasing a sequel? But Master Fu got the butterfly miraculous back so idk what they'll do and idk if I'll want to watch it if it's another musical

Also, about Hawk Moth/Gabriel: they tried to explain why he wants to destroy Paris by saying that the butterfly miraculous is evil and corrupts your mind the more you use it but... I don't buy it. I just don't. I'd rather have a Gabriel that is so hurt by the death of his wife that he's willing to hurt people of his own free will because he loves her that much and would do anything to bring her back than whatever the hell it is they tried to do here. It could have worked if I hadn't watched the show I think, but since I have...

[daveinediting]

Last week I revisited the raw footage of a show we produced a long time ago. It's our first episode of Adventures with Purpose, the one about Egypt.

At the time, we'd been using a lot of classical music from music libraries. This series, though, no matter what genre of music it lent itself to wouldn't be able to paint with such broad strokes like that. The script pivoted too much within sequences so the music would have to be highly crafted.

Okay two things:

The first is that whether library or original, the music we used never pivoted because the narration for a particular place never pivoted. We would have music for a church. Music for boat ride. Music for a particular kind of museum.

The new series wasn't as wedded to places as it was ideas. And the script for a particular location might juggle two or three of these, each with its own vibe.

The second thing's that during the previous summer I was introduced to music loops by teenagers at camp (believe it or not). Loops are individual phrases of music from any and every instrument (or sound effect) that, when you Tetris them just so, create pieces of music.

With those two ideas swimming in my head around the same time, I decided I wanted to have a go at creating a soundtrack for an hour-long travel documentary. Having read the script for the first episode, Egypt, it seemed to me that, more than anything and quite legitimately, I could lean into sound design with loops and create an atmosphere rather than a melodic sound. After all, when you're exploring pyramids and tombs and temples and speaking a lot about death and the afterlife as conceived by ancient Egyptians, crafting a mysterious, ethereal, sometimes creepy design for the sound holds a lot of appeal. I even recorded myself slowly whispering various Egyptian names and playing them backwards with a lot of reverb. In the show, you get a sense of words being spoken... but no idea at all what those words are.

I loved it.

And I loved the way that worked through the entire show.

So then last week I revisited the raw footage of that show to fashion some clips for Instagram. Again: pyramids and tombs and temples and speaking a lot about death and the afterlife as conceived by ancient Egyptians.

For a minute I thought about underscoring it with something orchestral, cinematic. But pyramids and tombs and temples and speaking a lot about death and the afterlife as conceived by ancient Egyptians. You know?

It just begs for mysterious, ethereal, sometimes creepy, and words you can barely sense but can't understand.

Unfortunately, of all the music I composed back then, I don't have any of that music. I don't know why. Where it should be on my drives... it's just not there. So over the last week I crafted some new pieces from scratch.

I can only imagine how much fun I must've had the first time with the amount of work that had to be done. My process starts with a bit of trial and error, listening to likely sounds from particular loop libraries I bought for the occasion and still possess. Once I settle on one or two as the basis for the sound design, then I have a pretty good sense of what I need to add. Of course I don't know exactly what to add and how to add it... which is where the fun comes in. It's trying a bit of this color here, that color there. More reverb. Less reverb. Removing some earlier elements. Futzing with volumes. Getting the timing of everything just so. Dialing in delay if I want it. Running a sound backwards.

It's a lot of fun to play with. To imagine as the sound of exploring tombs in the Valley of the Kings. To imagine what would make it creepier here. Mysterious there. Ethereal as we move on to the afterlife? And then, once imagining it, making it happen and listening all over again later because I picked at this, tweaked and tweaked, over the course of a few days until it was all just so.

And those backward whispering voices? I don't have the exact ones anymore but I do have some from another show. And I'm using them backwards. Know what I mean? It largely doesn't make a difference what the words really are. Also, if I really wanted to, I could record new sound with my Zoom Q2n... but what I've got absolutely does the trick.

So long as no one, you know, plays it back in reverse. 🤔

[tk-tastic]

I'm jumping in because you're literally the first person in 12 years to have this same theory as me (I have a cringey 2014 flipnote to prove it lmao) were literally doing this right now

I've got more evidence. And disclaimer, I know this is just a theory, I'm not to be taken seriously. I'm also not defending Turbo, he's clearly not the misunderstood villain but anyway, Here's everything I've been holding in since 2014 with no one to infodump to-

Cybugs take on the appearance of the things they consume, not vice versa, and while it could be argued King Candy was the only example we see in the movie of a "sentient" character being decoured, I'd offer Calhoun and her first partner as another example. Now *technically,* this story is written into her code, so its likely not meant to be an accurate representation of what happens when someone is eaten by a cybug, but humor me, if her partner ended up in the same place as King Candy, why didn't he take over the cybugs body? Why did Calhoun immediately open fire if there was any chance he could gain control?

As for King Candy's final form, I like the parallels of Turbo and the cybugs being a virus, and I offer a counter theory. The cybugs know they're a virus and are actively trying to take over the arcade. It's in their code to do so. I can't, however, see much motivation for Turbo to do the same. What's his ultimate goal? To get every game unplugged? I really agree with OP here that this was the cybug talking, not Turbo, especially since it's the same bug that Ralph brought there in the first place. He's had a good hiding place in Sugar Rush and I can't imagine he'd be so eager to destroy the entire arcade.

Counterpoint to my own point, though, if running into Roadblasters was an angry, impulsive reaction, I can see him taking advantage of unexpected power to impulsively try to seize more.

I also agree that Felix could be an unreliable narrator. Not that he's particularly wrong or being deceitful, but the story has been repeated for so long and there was only one perspective, from the outside. It's implied the other racers in the games didn't escape before the games were unplugged, so they had no input on how the story was told. Again, not saying Turbo is misunderstood, but maybe there's more to it than him being a big jealous asshole (probably not, because he *is* a big jealous asshole and we love that for him)

Okay, I've got more theories. I'm sorry-

I used to obsess over how the code worked and what it meant to manipulate it. It's established that Vanellope crossing the finish line would reset the game, and that has spawned a few ideas on its own.

I'd imagine every time she raced she undid the elaborate code work he'd worked on, since it replaced her wires and literally reset the entire kingdom at the end of the movie I'd assume it fixes any tweaks or changes in the original coding. In order to stay hidden and stay King Candy, he had to keep her from racing. There was more to it than just dethroning a nine year old, lmao

Also, also- if you die outside your game you don't respawn, but if Turbo plugged wires from the game into his code, does that mean he *can* respawn? Or has he been living in Sugar Rush one wipeout away from death this entire time? And *if he can respawn,* the cybug/King Candy hybrid died *before* She crossed the line to fix everything, *therefore* its not unreasonable to think that he had time to respawn before the code was reset and his code was no longer a part of Sugar Rush. Ergo Turbo is still alive. I rest my case.

The konami sequence Turbo used to get into the code was written on a Tapper napkin. Who got him that info? Who was he meeting with?? Who taught him what he knows??? How much time did he have with Sugar Rush to practice the manipulation? I have questions that no one can answer.

There's more but I'm shutting up now

Ok so @king-crawler technically I finished your 2 hour Turbo documentary yesterday at 3 AM BUT regardless I have recentlt watched it and I have a LOT I'd like to say, clarify details or lil things you might have missed or could be interpreted differently when you look at them another way :3

With that last bit I am diving head first into the flashback scene since it's heavily referencing that.

First and foremost, keep in mind that it is being narrated from Felix's point of view- remember that he was in his game doing his job when the accident happened, it was while every person ever was inside their respective game being busy being used as avatars; also referencing back what you said on Felix- he's not exactly the most understanding of others' situations, he stays well within his comfort zone. Keep that in mind.

When Roadblasters is plugged in the flashback, you can see the two players using TurboTime immediately abandon the game to check out the new one, and the screen Turbo's pixelated image apoears on is completely dark, don't you think that is very reminiscent of a Game Over screen? 🙃 meaning, the two players abandoned Turbo in the middle of a race, likely causing him to crash and lose.

Remember King Candy's shock, and sudden change in behaviour as soon as he sees Vanellope sprinting past him? What follows is a volatile fit of rage and violence when things don't go his way, this sudden change of trajectory. Wouldn't you reckon this moment could mirror how Turbo felt in the flashback? He's being used as an avatar, and suddenly he loses control as he gets ditched and gets his race put to a halt. That initial shock of "what is going on. This wasn't supposed to happen!"

Following that, while I don't doubt he got jealous, he SPRINTED into Roadblasters the moment he lost... but not to try to take it over- to take petty revenge instead, interrupting the players' race and causing them to crash just like they did to him, preventing him from winning in his game. Picture it as a "if I can't have this, then you won't have it either" type mentality towards Roadblasters.

Going back to Felix and why his ignorance/remaining within his bubble could have possibility caused him to misread Turbo's intentions. Felix also is one to make assumptions in the beginning of the movie, like how for example when trying to calm the Nicelanders when Ralph goes missing: "Ralph probably fell asleep in Tapper's bathroom again!" Or some such. It makes sense he would make assumptions about Turbo as well, ESPECIALLY if he knew him personally and how self-obsessed he is. Doesn't take a genius to realize this guy does not like to lose.

Secondly, the final boss scene. King Candybug in general really. I disagree with your idea that Turbo has always been this hungry for power he'd want to take over the entire arcade. We both know that if that happened, if every game was infested by Cy-bugs, Litwak would be forced to close down his business because all of the games would be unplayable. His 'attention' wouldn't last very long if every game gets unplugged, his thought process to take over the arcade is purely manic and deranged for someone like him who has been well-known to be a master manipulator, able to keep a stable facade for over a decade without wanting to take over other racing games? That 'taking over the arcade' sounds very unlike him. It sounds more like... a cy-bug's programming. A cy-bug's programming that has gained enough conciousness to start plotting and planning. Because it now has the intelligence of a person, fused with him, learned what he knows.

Speaking of which, remember the cybug that ate King Candy?

Look at it's candy-pattern. Haven't we seen that somewhere before...?

Oh right! Right here, when the cybug eats some pepperming roots.

The same cybug that ended up there after falling into the taffy lake... after being ejected from a shuttle.

The same cybug that Ralph brought with himself.

What was the very first thing that King Candybug said to ralph when they see eachother again for the showdown?

"Because of you, Ralph, I'm now the most powerful virus in the arcade!"

I don't think, during this one moment at least, that this was Turbo speaking.

[wasp-coffee]

TMI (2013) live rant (continued at 35:23)

This movie is Two Hours Long... TWO

I'm only a quarter in....

#notmyhodgestarkweather

Again, British

The "all the legends are true" line is jace's

Why... Is there a spoils room in the institute?

Considering they're... Y'know... Illegal? And have been for like at least a hundred and ten years

Izzy... My dear, why is your hair brown???? Brown????

Are their eyes even blue??? ARE THE DISTINCT FAMILY TRAITS FROM THE BOOKS NOT SACRED?

... Izzy's eyes are grey

History lessons with Hodge - i mean he is a tutor but this is just boring exposition

Boring valentine flashbacks

Oh so we do go to the silent city!

"some say its a spell" shut the fuck up Jace we know why hodge can't leave the fucking institute

Why is there a random silent brother walking through the gravestones??? Was he going on a morning stroll????

Speaking of said silent brother - where are the runes carved into his face???

Where's the statue of jonathan Shadowhunter? "Looking better in black than the widows of our enemies"?? Hm? EH JACE????

Roll credits

Why are the silent brothers seven feet tall? Do they have a basketball team or something?

Where's my G brother Enoch?

Calling bullshit that Joycelyns runes didn't fade until after Clary was old enough to remember

Isn't magnus supposed to be here?

WHAT?

Why is the silent brother's hood down what the fuck????

Again what the fuck is jace wearing - is that alecs hideous shirt from earlier??? WHERE IS THEIR TRAINING GEAR

Oh jaces jacket has a skirt cute

No way Jace would have got into magnus' that easily - this is also supposed to be an apartment

Love that Jace hasn't poured holy water into the demon bike yet so going to the Du Mort seems unlikely

Magnus sweetheart <3

Blue eye callout yay

Too much exposition though

This is a lot of information by dialogue... Im so bored and this is too dramatic

Oh love the church weapons raid very nice

That's a gun... Why the fuck would there be a gun in a nephilim armoury considering NONE OF THEM CAN USE THEM

Oh a "vampire gun" of course

Oh we are going to the du mort! Lovely

Without the help of raphael... Interesting

(52:30)

An hour in and I'm bored as fuck not much has happened

Oh nice! A witchlight!! So why is jace using a torch

Why is Simon strewn up like jesus? He's supposed to be a rat, no?

Oh yeah that would mean going back to magnus'

There is no tension here im bored and where is camille?

Ridiculous fight sequence...fine

Oh good jace does have some faded runes

I hate that the institute is a ghost town it's ridiculous

Alecs eyes... Not recognizably blue and the brown hair... Yeah no

Why is he speaking so softly? Alec (and izzy) were rude AF in the book (justifiably so, seeing clary as an outsider) they're tame in an annoying way here

There's no tension in this argument I don't believe this man is upset - he's bored, im bored

Why is Jace wearing white?

MOURING COLOURS

Omg this stupid bach conversation is so unnecessarily stupid

Where is training room and the armoury?

Natural portal? Fuck off. Not without a warlock or clave permission into Alicante

I'm not only bored, but upset considering they obviously wanted a sequel and by setting this up they shot themselves in the foot

okay im glad for the greenhouse I'll admit it

Where's the story about the falcon? The spaghetti

Oh there it is, good.

Greenhouse transformation moment that's kinda dumb. Aren't they supposed to be on the roof?

HUGGIN OR MUGGIN OMG HI

I don't care they're kissing you can't just put a pop ballad behind two bland people and expect me to care

There wasn't enough build up for me to care

Why is it raining??? Its a greenhouse, not a swimming pool!

Why would the sprinklers turn on at midnight?

Its nice to hear some of the lines from the book but i just... Don't believe JCB as Jace

Why is this simon confession here???? Here?

Oh good alec and izzy are in something resembling gear that's something

Haha love the shedding of a ridiculous amount of weapons trope - that got me ill admit

I can't remember why izzy and alec are here or what this magnetic dust is

Love that what he's playing clearly isn't what his hands are doing

Why is he playing???

Oh yeah the bach shit

(1:24:52)

I distinctly remember the whole point of Hodges betrayal is that its behind everyone's back

Why is valentine shirtless

WHAT IS THAT RAT TAIL PONYTAIL

Are those... Dreads?

Come ON

This whole Jonathan monologue is boring and stupid and i don't give a shit because we haven't spent enough time with Clary or Luke to sympathize - also seeing as it's spliced between the whole Jace/Valentine schtick

Considering that Jace, Clary, Joycelyn and Valentine share absolutely no features in common this is an absolute circus

Valentine looks like a rejected Captain Hook

This whole thing is supposed to be on an island, no?

Roosevelt Island!

Yeah, no, lets just stage it in the institute it'll be fine! (Sarcasm)

For all everyone was fawning over this movie for being "book accurate" im very disappointed