#'you can't become a better you if you don't acknowledge your faults' - that's how she sees it

[miqojak]

Random question but what are the main differences you'd say there are between the way you describe your character and the way she'd describe herself?

Here's a lil snip of a somewhat similar question from 2020, but it was limited to 3 words each! Gosh, this is still hard, though. I think we'd agree on a lot of descriptors - she's ambitious, goal-oriented, acerbic, incisive, often impatient... but capable of immense patience when she must be. But she's honest, above all. She can twist her honesty when she feels like it, but she's direct and to the point... and doesn't really care about how that honesty might feel to the other person, as she doesn't have a lot of empathy for others she's not emotionally connected to (most of the time)... and getting to that point tends to take a concerted effort and a lot of patience from the other person. Gotta prove you really want her in your life!

From my meta perspective, I'd call her a wounded/abused alley cat - she's mistrustful, and for good reason. I'd call her a broken person... but she's also admitted that before, as well - she knows she's not 'normal', and functions differently than others. As incisive as she is with others... she's equally as honest (if not moreso) with herself. Ketsuchi once called her 'lonely' and she denied it at first, because of her perception of that word - she didn't want people around her! But... at the end of the day, she is - she lost her whole family. If any of her tribe survived, she doesn't know about it. They're all dead. She fought Garlemald... she suffered for those she loved, she fought for her home... and in the end, it doesn't matter, because there's no one to share the victory with. But I think you'd be hard-pressed to hear her call herself lonely, all the same, even now that she's cognizant of the fact that loneliness can have different connotations for different people.

It's hard to come up with differences in how we'd describe her, but... I don't agree with her calling herself a 'Beast', like the Garleans did. She kinda had to become just that to get away from them - had to lean into their expectations and become something hateful... because she was effectively a child soldier in a concentration camp, and... the tales of the Jackal taught her to be more clever. To play along, if she must, to escape the 'trap'. She became the very thing they expected her to be, and used it against them - but what they did to her broke her mentally. What she witnessed changed her. Their ideology, even, was baked into her: The Strong Survive. So... deep down, she feels ugly. She hates thinking about J'kesri - she has tattoos (each with meaning/insight into who she is), and piercings in part because she wanted to distance herself from who she saw in the mirror - under all the ego, is a broken little girl who lost her whole family - her whole reason for living. And...she'd hate me saying that, because SHE hates that about herself.

And deep, deep down? She is capable of immense care and loyalty to the right people; to those who demonstrate to her that they're worth that part of her, worthy of the risk she's taking - there's not a lot of that left to give, but she gives it wholeheartedly once it has been earned. She believes in actions speaking louder than words, and has gone above and beyond for the man who became her lover, over the course of about 2 years - she cooks him homecooked meals, lavishes physical affection on him... even likes to take baths with him, and wash him (among other things >_>). The problem is when people come at her seeking this side of her, and she's insistent that this part of her doesn't exist - because not everyone deserves this part of her! She's deeply wounded and mistrustful, and it takes enduring a lot of venom from her, and proving you'll still be there in the end (among other 'requirements' on her part), for her to finally deem someone worthy to be considered a friend. And even then... she can be a handful because she cares so much! Now, you're subject to the high standards she has for herself, as well! She'll push you to be a better version of yourself, as well - because that's what she believes in! Constant betterment!

At the end of the day, Jak is uniquely honest with everyone, but like I said...especially with herself. She's cognizant of her strengths and weaknesses and admits most of them, because... only a fool denies the truth of a thing.

She and Ketsuchi were both quite heroic - and rather naive in their heroism - in their youth... and they both became quite cold, and distant, and mistrusting of people with time and heartbreak and hurt and loss... but finding each other, and seeing someone just like themselves in their adult lives really helped them both, I think - but that might be one more thing I don't think either of them would admit to... having been 'heroic'... and even when she does small kindnesses now for homeless refugees, or goes to spend time with those in Little Ala Mhigo? She still doesn't want to be acknowledged for it. She doesn't want people to notice it, or thank her, or consider her a hero of the people, or anything of the sort. It makes her uncomfortable in her own skin... and that's hard for me to put a finger on the 'why' for, myself... maybe it just reminds her of all those she lost, and can't do these things for, now. Maybe she just feels too 'broken' to be seen as anyone 'heroic' or kind. But I'd say she is, deep down, still as capable of being a loving person as she once was, under the right circumstances - that part of her isn't as dead and gone as she thinks/wishes... and maybe that's the big one we differ on.

I got rambly, since this was a tough one to find differences on, so thanks for reading - and for asking!!

[lieutenantism]

i'm currently thinking about how jean loses himself completely to harry. just dissolves entirely. very little sense of identity left outside his partnership with him, which i find so intriguing. i mean, it's the definition of codependency, but that doesn't make it any less interesting (long post, again).

"i won't let my life unravel because of this." is just so insane and melodramatic to me because WHO is that man to you, jean? and why is his alcoholism the reason for your life unraveling? jean takes on harry's drinking problem as a problem of his own, a threat to his life before harry's, even though the drinking doesn't affect harry's ability to do his job, and jean acknowledges that as well as everyone else in the major crimes unit.

but why does he have such a big problem with harry's alcoholism? why's he the only one out of the task force who seems to care obsessively? because the one before him failed to save him, and he feels as though it's his responsibility now. to jean, harry's life is divided to three parts; before him, during him, and tragically, after him.

the fact jean puts himself in the same position as dora, harry's ex, tells you enough. almost as if he considers them to be the same, in terms of responsibility for harry's wellbeing. he's cleaning up her mess, he seems to think. she was way before my time, as though they hold the same significance to harry. of course, this isn't entirely jean's fault. both him and harry share the guilt of their twisted relationship; harry's guilty of getting too personal with anybody within arm's reach.

and jean's guilty for wanting to clean up a mess that he didn't make, and losing sight of himself and his true professional duties in the process. so it goes like this; they partner up, harry's bad at drawing the line between personal and professional relationships and jean's even worse, harry goes on benders every week and jean witnesses them and tries to pull him out of them relentlessly, which then leads to whatever fucked up partnership they had, right before martinaise. the question is why did jean feel the need to save him? because he projected onto him severely.

they're both broken men; mirrors of each other, though jean will never say it out loud. he sees himself in harry, and since he can't save himself and everyone's given up on him, even the professionals, he decides not to give up on harry. in a way, jean's trying to prove to himself that he's not a lost cause through sticking by harry's side through it all, because if even the most lost of causes manages to have at least one person who's there for them at all times, who says he can't have one too? why must he be labelled as the anomaly? if harry du bois could be saved, so can he. he maintains this "i have my shit together, i'm better than you." persona during the entire confrontation, when he isn't. like i said, harry is everything jean works hard in order not to become, yet he still manages to lose his sense of identity while "saving" him and only becomes "harry's partner". that's all he is. nothing but a safety net, there to catch him at all times.

that's why he becomes extremely defensive when you choose the "kim's cooler than you." option, because you're practically robbing him of his identity. throughout the entirety of the game, he keeps repeating: "i'm your partner", to reassure himself more so than anything else, and what the game does here is very clever. you first hear him say that on a call, so distant and away from you; he cannot convince you that he's your partner even if he tried. then, he says it when he's in an idiotic disguise that you didn't recognize, and quite frankly it's making you uncomfortable, it's hard to take him seriously when he looks so stupid so you don't believe him, again. then at last, when he confronts you, and he's himself. then you think it sticks.

but it doesn't, and you dismiss him again to ask about the others. i've always found it perplexing how there's no "how can you be my partner?" option during the confrontation. you can ask about mikael heidelstam for fuck's sake, but not your partner. simply because you don't believe he is, at least not anymore. he's just a very angry man who was in a stupid disguise, and that's all you can ask him about. isn't that so insanely tragic? when you think about how dismissive the "confrontation" is? and jean's lashing out that way because his whole identity is hanging in the balance? no matter what jean tells harry, there's no click, no lightbulb flickering moment, nothing. jean tries everything, it's painful to see, really. the "i didn't lie to you. no one lies to you." and his lines to judit and trant where he's like "i told you, it's typical harry behavior. it's our shitkid." and so on are all attempts to prove that he, jean, knows him, harry, better than anyone else, even himself. he KNOWS him, which is why harry has to need him. he has to keep him. as his partner or whatever the hell it was, because nobody else knows him or will ever get to know him that way.

jean's response to harry telling them "i don't wanna be in your unit." only further proves it. "i'm your partner, i answer for you when you're not there." considering the fact harry and jean had begun to blur ever since their partnership came into being makes the line funnier lol. jean had locked himself up in a prison of his own making, of course with harry giving him all the means necessary to build his own cage beforehand. it was a matter of time and conditioning, and severe loneliness. every crime of harry's feels like one jean is guilty of.

[idrinkteawhenifeeldeadinside]

Pit Babe episode 6 rewatch/live commentary (part 2)

Guess who's on remote working and writing her commentary instead of working because she finished ALL of her task in 2 hours , but her working day last for 7h30......ME !

Oh poor Way....Who cares ? No one

Except Pete...Hello sir !

In the previous part, when i said that no one believed in Dean....i forgot about Sonic

And the fact that in the next second Dean turn all of his anger toward him

North first instinct being to check that Sonic is alright, in any situation

Side note n°??: i'm using the french subtitle from the team petitsblentreamis, whose translation is far better that the english one.

Dean asking what being nice has brought him and then, projecting his own sense of betrayal toward Alan on North and Sonic

And that was the last straw for Dean. At this point, nothing Alan or the X-hunter Team could say or do, would be able to repair their relationship, at least in Dean eyes

Now,it's a bit hypocritical to say that Alan.

But the thing is, they already lost him.....Also, i'm don't agree with Jeff on this one and i think he's a little bit projecting how he would like people to act toward him in this situation.

That only a fragment of why Dean is so f*cking upset ! Once gain, Alan just....brush him off

His dream is to be able to sleep......Now, if we take into account the whole series, all of Jeff visions are bad one......What if that's the only things he can see......the bad things, the hurtful and scary one....since he was a little child......

Alan has rizz ? Damn

Poor Jeff, nothing ever prepared him for someone like Alan

Never mind he's an idiot -< him and chef Oab should shake hands

Him trying to coax Jeff with food......wrong series Uncle

Charlie as so much faith in Babe jugement

Or you could keep it, make some renovation and raise your children here!

By the way, do you know what baffled me even more than Babe calling himself Mama during sexy time? it's Babe calling Charlie Papa and Charlie calling Babe Mama outside of it.

Also Mama is a part of who he is now; you have Pit Babe, King of the Hallows; Babe a traumatized alpha with a very shitty shitty childhood; and Mama, the babygirl ! the drama queen !

Babe, he's not trying, he's succeeding

Give me all the domesticity between those two in season 2 ! Or even better, give me 2189641 new episodes of them doing couple/family thing with the rest of the X-hunter Pack

He was playing hard to get but in reality, he just wanted a photo with his boyfriend !

The height difference in this scene remind me that Pavel keep wearing high heeled shoes because he just CAN'T be shorter than Pupu

🎶Kiss kiss fall in love🎶

Brother-in-law time

It's nice to see a character like Babe acknowledging his fault, apologizing and actively trying to have a positive relationship with Jeff

Poor Alan, Babe would rather be on Jeff side than his 😝

I love that everyone can see Alan crush on Jeff, even Babe (with all the shit he as going on)

The pure fear and horror in his eyes

Still not a fan of alcool

Mais ta gueule Way !

Both of them are soooo done

Awwww

North and his t-rex arm

I can only imagine what Way is going through at this moment

Uncle acting like an Uncle, who would have though

It's the little thing :

Yep, he didn't drink that...and neither did Way

Because you're his friend !!! And you clearly didn't look good when you left!!!

Babe, what did we say about doing doing thing that will only make him more delulu ?

Also do you think there is a reason that both of this scene involve cigarette ?..... Toxicity maybe ? ......Dependence?

Nut is just so pretty, the big round eyes, the soft hair🫠

Babe just want his bestfriend and boyfriend to become friend

How dare he ! Babe didn't change, he's finally happy with someone who sees him for who he is. His relationship with Charlie gave him the opportunity to shred a big part of his "Pit Babe" persona, which he mostly created to protect himself.

Yes !!!!

-> i will come back to talk about this scene later

I'm sorry, but at this point in the story,you can make me empathize with Way.

I can even imagine what Babe life would have been if he and Way had gotten together back in the days......

I love him so much

[purgemarchlockdown]

Deep Cover prep involves me organizing the Kotoko Thoughts and something I think about a lot is her Adherence to the Status Quo rather than Revolting against it.

It's something that seems strange at first since Kotoko is so overtly violent and aggressive and hateful towards society, but what we know about Kotoko's Worldview are things that seem In Favor in not only keeping the hierarchical status quo, but to make it Stricter.

It's notable to Me that Kotoko wants to partner up with Milgram instead of fighting against it, she believes in Milgrams' ability to affirm "justice."

(Task)

Kotoko: To be honest, I don't know your (*Milgram's?) true intentions. And I don't know whether you are a similar person with similar thoughts. Who knows, maybe it's just my delusion of wishful thinking. Even so, it uses multiple ways to reveal good and evil. To me, MILGRAM, this kind of nature itself, has a kind of charm to it. So? Do you understand me as a person now?

Now, personally. I think Milgram as a Prison is flawed in...multiple ways, and is extremely unjust and unhelpful in actually doing any sort of justice due to being so extreme and unnuanced that it ultimately just harms everyone at the end of of it all. Kotoko even acknowledges that the prison is using unjust methods in Yonah.

(Yonah)

Kotoko: So you tolerate all of the psychological abuse going on in this prison, but draw the line at the physical one? What double standards you have!

She doesn't Stop wanting to become Es fang here, actually she wants them to become even more cruel and harsh and have no mercy for any of the prisoners.

(Kotoko: I can excuse the abuse but I draw the line at hypocrisy

Me: You can excuse the abuse?)

1moremilgram-enjoyer talked about that Kotoko believes that the world's normal state of being is "good" and that evil is a poison infecting it.

The normalcy sought for, Fading away, Everytime death comes

Which informs a lot of her ableism and violence against people who she deems as "sinners."

And I've personally talked a lot about how Kotoko idealizes the Past, and is stuck as how she was as a child. Telling Amane that she was Exactly how she was at her age...that being twelve. She outright admits she hasn't grown from being a child, as if that's something to be proud of. Her worldview is strict and immature frankly, it doesn't allow for any nuance.

(We have a Word for an ideology that idolizes the past and enforces hierarchical power systems for the "good" of humanity and I would link archivalofsins post to it IF I COULD FIND IT-)

Kotoko Believes in the current hierarchies of the prison (the world) and just believes that the people running it are flawed and that if they just instate the Good People everything will be Fine Actually.

Es: Your hand.. What does it mean? Kotoko: Let's shake hands. We will be companions. Es: You and me.. Companions?

She believes in the power of violence and believes that using it is the only way to Truly bring about justice is by using physical force.

T1Q4: When did you start learning martial arts? In elementary school, perhaps. Without enough power, you can't enforce justice and do the right thing, can you?

She does not believe in mercy or compassion, nor is she wiling to put in the effort into understanding that it is Much Harder to make the world a better place than she would like it to be.

T1Q7: What did you study at university? For a while, I studied at the faculty of law. There's something I want to do, so I'm currently taking a break from studies, though.

She wants a good, simple, clean, answer. A group of people she can blame the evils of this world on.

Whose fault is it, This is getting ridiculous What should the punishment be

(Kotoko Birthday Timeline. 12/15/2023)

Kotoko: “Fufufu, fufufufufu. You’re thinking some outrageous things. To be frank, it’s abnormal. But I don’t dislike it. If only all sinners were like you.”

She just needs to find someone who "agrees" with her, a Good Person who can enforce the system the way She wants it enforced.

I've chosen the awaited hero

[bibibbon]

something that constantly pisses me off about lov bashers is that they don’t understand that an explanation is not an excuse.

they can’t wrap their head around the fact that yes toga is a murderer but that doesn’t negate the fact that she was driven to that point by society.

if her parents supported her and helped her with the symptoms and urges caused by her quirk i doubt she would’ve become a villain.

she was literally driven to insanity not because she’s always been that way, but because suppressing her urges for so long caused her to snap.

twice became a villain because he had no other choice. he had no family, no job, and he was just a child. he had no where to go and no one to help him.

it really hits home for me because i have autism and several other mental problems, so some of my behaviors are because of those issues. but whenever i say that people say i’m making excuses when i’m not. i understand that some of my behaviors aren’t okay. that my mental illnesses aren’t my fault, but they are my responsibility.

yes toga should go to jail/juvenile detention because she’s killed several people, but we should acknowledge that the reason she became a murderer is because of how she was treated. BUT that doesn’t mean her being a murderer is okay or justified.

this also relates to how i believe spinner was right about how placating to their oppressors will do nothing.

the civil rights movement wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. they had to *fight* for their rights. key word being fight.

yes peaceful protest are certainly effective but they won’t work 100% of the time. sometimes you just have to get your hands dirty.

for example, sit-ins and peaceful marches were extremely important to the movement. but sometimes you just need to throw a brick at a cop.

stonewall isn’t infamous because it was peaceful. it’s infamous because it showed the world that the lgbtq community wasn’t going to sit idly by and let themselves be brutalized.

but the thing is 100% of spinners ideology won’t work, and 100% of shoji’s ideology won’t work either. there needs to be a balance between the two.

tl;dr some of the mha community is allergic to nuance and it makes me wanna scream.

Tbh I wouldn't label myself a league of villains basher but Iam definitely anti against the lov fans that claim the league are completely innocent and haven't done any crimes whatsoever.

I have said this before and I will say it again all of the leauge of villain members are victims. They are victims!!! But they have also done bad things. They are victims and they are bad people. Two things can coexist at once.

One thing that I find interesting about some league members that I wish was explored more often was the hypocrisy they had. For example take toga who has stated that she doesn't want to go to jail for her crimes and has murdered but also simultaneously gets distraught over twices death. I love toga but that can definitely be described as hypocritical and it's something that I love about her and I wish horikoshi delved into this with the league a whole lot more.

Also one of my problems that I mentioned in another post is that the leauge don't actually have a viable goal. As of current their goal was to simply destroy and create carnage so they can somehow get a better world for themselves. Realistically that plan is incredibly flawed and would obviously backfire horribly so I wish that horikoshi could of made it so that they developed out of that plan and used the MVA to target groups like the HPSC and other parts of the government to prove their point without harming innocent kids and civilians.

Agreed shoji and spinners ideologies are both flawed but if combined there can be a common ground reached. Thinking about this I can't help but also wonder what if shigaraki properly used the MVA and their resources? What if there wasn't an outright war? What if there was more bonding between the villains and their heroes?

@mikeellee used to suggest that shigaraki would try and get izuku on board with the MVA and I can't help but think that's a great idea and would help the narrative while adding more nuance and development to izuku and other characters.

[compassionatereminders]

Hi, sorry for venting, but I think I need some advice (you can ignore it or just post in case someone else would want to help if you don't want to /nf)

So...Im autistic and always had troubles making friends. Rn I have a friend of almost two years, but Im starting to realise that they affect my mental health. Its hard to talk with them, because:

When I say, that I don't like something in our relationship them would either deny that that thing even exists or make it my fault and call me a crybaby because I don't understand jokes. (Like when I said that im not comfortable with sexual jokes in my direction cuz im a minor and they are not. They got angry cuz ita a joke and "you can't actually think im a pedophilic, thats stupid!" (I didn't, but the jokes can also be weird))

Or sometime she will actually do what I ask, but only for a few days. Like when I asked to use tontegs so I could understand them better and she was so enthusiastic about it, saying that they will learn it all...rn they don't use them at all which make it harder for me. (Like she told me that she would unfriend me if I don't answer her correctly and I got really scared just so her to say afterwards that it was a joke)

And the thing that makes me the most upset: It begins to seem that our communication is a monologue, not a dialogue. Like, she would talk about his day and will get upset when I don't answer vividly enough, however, when I start talking about things that are important to me ( things I'm proud of, my straggles or just the thing I love) she becomes dry and distant, responding with simple "cool" "mhm" or just ignore. I tried to tell her about it for the past two years but she always refused to acknowledge the problem. The last time (a few days before) she just replied "okay" and that it.

I know that all of that can be a lot, but she also a great friend. Like, she tells me how much she loves me or how proud of me she is...and I really like that. I like spending time with her, its fun. I don't have any other friends and Im scared of being alone, but now I just can't talk with her like I used to because of all the problems and I don't know what to do. She doesn't listen to me and Im afraid that if I will tell her all of that again, she will be angry at me and blame me and I will have a panic attack again and I don't want that because my life is already hard.

Im really sorry for the long ask, I just don't know what to do and I don't have anyone to ask for advice...

I get that loneliness and isolation sucks, but in most cases I'd say that it's better to be isolated for a while than to keep investing in friendships with people who treat your badly and don't respect your boundaries and with whom you can't have a constructive conversation about the issues in the relationship. And no matter how much this person claims to care about you or how fun she can be, it doesn't sound like she's actually treating you with respect.

[danggirlronpa]

Not the Pekoshima anon who originally talked about the ship, but I am so Invested in pekoshima my god, I have to talk about it. Okay so - with both Ultimate Despair's we see (discounting DR3 because. I don't like it), Nagito and Mikan, I find them very interesting. Mikan in chapter 3 obviously isn't behaving well - murder and all - but she also seems to recognize for possibly the first time ever that how people treated her was wrong (questioning why they treated her this way, acknowledging it wasn't fair, even calling the cast a bunch of bullies in scorn). Which is... such interesting characterization! It's one of the reasons I can't exactly buy how Junkan is presented in DR3 - in her FTEs, how people treated Mikan was normal to her, and she didn't seem to fully realize it was wrong. In the third trial, Mikan talks as if she knows how she was treated was wrong, and singles out Junko as being different, having forgiven her. In her final FTE, she says that Hajime has forgiven her too, implying to me that Junko did the same thing as Hajime did during their FTEs together, just with malicious intent (strengthening the Hajime/Izuru and Ryouko/Junko parallels and solitifying both Chiaki and Hajime in SDR2 as "the kindness the remnants never had" - kindness that ultimately leads to them triumphing over Junko this time). So in DR3, it didn't make much sense to me that Junko treated Mikan just as everyone else in Mikan's life has. Kicking her and berating her. Of course, with brainwashing she didn't need to be kind, but before DR3 came out, I always thought Junko operated more like... she would make you go one step forward, and two steps back. She would present herself as if solving your problems and helping you, but that was just to her own ends. We see this in Nagito too - when he's in DR:AE as a remnant of despair, his ideals have changed drastically from SDR2, and I'd go so far as to say what he preaches in DR:AE to be a better philosophy - though how far he's willing to go for it, still bad. So, the conclusion I reached was that every remnant would have some sort of ironic twist - something they improved upon, only for their other behaviors to be worse, like Nagito and Mikan.

So Hiyoko wouldn't be bully - but maybe it would be too much in the other direction, where she was obedient to a fault. Never talking without permission, sitting still like a doll, only doing what she was told.

Kaizuchi, perhaps, would no longer be obsessed with Sonia, someone who didn't like him back, and instead fixate on Junko, who welcomed his obsession...

And Peko, who used to think she was a tool... perhaps she would finally realize she was human. Perhaps she would realize this, and despair at such a fact.

Because it would mean she failed. She failed to become a tool for Fuyuhiko, and suddenly everything done to her wasn't "training a tool" but a tragedy. Her life was a tragedy. The very fact that she is human is despair, but that despair itself proves she is human. I imagine she could get very twisty and turny in her thoughts about this.

I also have the headcanon that Peko and Fuyuhiko during the despair times switches roles. Fuyuhiko always took on too much responsibility, and hey, here's your old pal Junko here to set you straight! You don't need to take so much onto yourself! It's painful, isn't it? Taking the burden of making choices. Being human. Who wants that responsibility? Why not give it to someone else? Oh hey, look at that, it's your old pal Peko! She'll take the brunt of responsibility from now on! From now on, Peko is the master and Fuyuhiko is the tool!

I just love the idea of Junko doing these ironic little twists. Helping them in some way only to fuck them over in others. Junko makes Peko realize she's human, and because of that, Peko cannot help but both love and resent her. Real toxic yuri shit going on.

(TW this gets a lil gory at the end)

This is a really good take on Junko's strategy!! My Junko analysis is similar but not quite the same. I've always viewed Junko as a monkey's paw. Whoever you are, she gives you exactly what you want, in its totality - but at the expense of your happiness.

Mikan's desire for someone to care for her becomes excessive dependency and blind devotion. Ryota's desire to become a successful animator who doesn't have to think about talking to others or existing in the real world becomes the complete destruction of that world, and his animated work as the most influential to ever exist. Nagito's desire to become a force which others can step on to find hope becomes Nagito ensuring the legacy of the greatest despair he possibly can, so that no 'fake' hopes can bypass his rigorous test - only a True Ultimate Hope can overcome and finally lead the world to victory.

Despair - for Junko - is the knowledge that you have succeeded, and everything is even worse than if you hadn't. Because Junko is Always succeeding, and she's Always in despair. Nothing challenges her. The only thing that she can't predict is pure dumb luck, which Makoto leverages against her both in THH and SDR2 to enable her defeat. Junko, like Izuru, is one of the most successful people to ever exist, and it SUCKS. So of course she is dragging people down the exact same way she herself is dragged down. Of course she shows people obvious, glowing success, in such a way that it tears down the entire world they once knew. Because this way - if one day unimaginably, they break their bonds - they will never, ever experience true hope again. Because their hopes are what destroyed them. Their hope brings about despair.

So from that perspective, I think you're dead on the money with Fuyuhiko, who loathes his position and wants to be free of the burden of responsibility (wouldn't it be easier, to be a tool, too? Aren't you tired of telling people to die? Shouldn't you take responsibility yourself, if there's killing to be done?). But Peko's desire is to be a tool. Rather than teaching Peko how to become her own person, I personally think that Junko would put Peko through the paces of both physical and psychological torture to turn her into a complete unfeeling instrument, exactly like Peko wanted. Once you've been in a 1-foot cell with no other people for a week, once you've been given Pavlovian training to receive an endorphin rush when holding your own spilling viscera in your hands - affection, agency, memory all fade away. There's just the next order. Exactly like Peko wanted.

[draftycastle]

The Language of Flowers: Reaction

In which: I am made to feel things, get mad about being made to feel things, gush over prose, fall in love with Lyra’s ability to portray emotion, talk starry existentialism, start two petitions and go on a tangent about miserably sad fools who are boring and beige.

Lyra Brie! You’ve thrown a fish hook down my throat and are pulling out my heart! It is very painful!

“I can't tell her that I still love her even if I can't touch her like I used to.”

Right off, you got down that feeling of when something so significant happens it cracks your foundations, changes something inside that makes it feel impossible to connect to people like you once did, no matter how much you want to, no matter how much love, it’s just to much pain to bear.

   “Mom still reaches out to touch me, instinctively”

Those instinctual habits from our love ones, that are well meaning, but haven’t caught up to the current reality, can be unmooring. We know they are meant with kindness, which’s adds all the more guilt to pain.

This whole first scene really hits home hard. Theres a theme of isolation here, the kind of isolation that comes from when you are so trapped inside yourself that you become a stranger, watching life from the outside in.

The inability and struggle to talk about traumatic events is a very real and raw experience that more people have than we care to think. Pain is a very hard thing to acknowledge. You also included the anger at a trauma for what it’s taken away from the person. This makes her feel very dimensional, and genuine to me. She’s not just a passive punching bag. She’s sitting there, fully realized and with feeling.

**

Scene two and my first thoughts: Libraries are such sanctuaries! The power of story!

   “Mom still believes I will just get better with time, the way she kept watering her wilted flowers thinking they would come back to life if she just cared enough”

Something something the way Our loved ones feel guilty for our pain, and then in our pain we feel guilty for their guilt.

“If only I could read, I could get out of this body, this tainted skin, for just a moment.” Then later “I was trying to escape my skin by crawling so deeply into myself that I was not part of my body anymore”

I think, many of us can relate very strongly to this urge for escapism. Why else would social media, video games, make up, Movie and Tv, fiction books ect be quite so popularly addicting? And then you also show us that disgust for the self after a traumatic event, even when what happened is not the fault of either us or our bodies.

“I resist the urge to hide…The second I make myself known to the people here, they will want to touch me.”

Aka “The mortifying ordeal of being known”

“Fix me, fix me, fix me, I want to scream. But I have no way to say anything.”

How badly do we want the pain to be taken away? How afraid are we of the pain it takes to heal?

“The smells of flowers and grass and early spring air fill me. This is what peace smells like.”

When I tell you I GASPED at this gorgeous bit of prose.

**

I appreciate how you don’t have her be immediately successful, immediately healed, as soon as she gives it her first try. How the power here lies in building trust, in choices, in her putting in the work of healing, and not just Love At First Sight Fixes All.

Pretty Boys are not cures!

**

“I can't decide if I hope he will or won't”

If that indecision isn’t a Mood.

“i don't want to be alone” will always get me.

“Would he ever be able to speak to me? This was lovely, right now, when we both believed I would be able to touch and communicate eventually. Would I, though? Even if I can use the flowers, that's still not the same. That's not my language”

You balance so many things so well in her: she has anger, hope, doubt, fear, grief ect. This juggling I think is what really gives this story’s emotional punches their strength.

**

“Statice sits on the ground next to me, trying to be close enough to be comforting without pushing my boundaries. I appreciate that.”

WE STAN A BOUNDRY RESPECTING KING!

Hes trying to comfort her on HER terms, in a way SHE wants, instead of what he thinks “should” be.

“I'm not sure I can. I desperately need to be held, to be told that I will be okay, that things will get better, but I cannot stomach the touch required”

Petition to get her a weighted blanket.

“..such an expanse to fill with dreams.” THAT PROSE AGAIN! I’m weak.

Also I want to live in a giant tree library with winged rabbits. Unfair I’m not.

Petition for me to to live in a giant tree library with winged rabbits?

“I start to worry about the anger I saw in him. I've never seen it before, but that doesn't mean it's not commonly occurring around other people. What if he's only being nice to me to gain my trust?”

She has such well developed emotion and a really authentic representation of PTSD.

The reoccurrence of this time line she set for herself: “It's nearly the end of spring, and I told myself I'd be better before summer.” UGH. You sneaky little mind spy Lyra Brie. How are so good at pulling out human experiences and emotions like that?

“To stare at the stars and realize how big the universe is, how much this all stretches beyond the two of us, and yet we get to be here together.”

Ah yes, the optimistic existentialism of star gazing. It’s part of why I love it.

“He is choosing to spend time with me despite how hard the lack of communication makes our friendship”

You are always worthy of friends and love and human connection. Being “too much” is a lie and a scam invented by boring people in beige who are really actually quite sad and miserable. Don’t listen to sad miserable fools in beige.

“Why can't I just be normal?”

Totally not feral over this, no sir.

“I work on my sewing a bit, trying to stitch these pieces of fabric back together. Maybe I can't fix me, but I could fix these clothes”

What a wonderful illustration of one of those tiny life moments of trying to control what we can.

“I'm willing to give myself time, though, and I have hope that it will come when it's ready.”

Such beautiful character growth. We all need to relearn what it is to show ourselves this kind type of grace.

“  I don't know why I insisted on doing these things, even know they won't be able to understand or read any of it. They can't speak my new languages. There's still no way for me to actually communicate with them.    I sigh, laying down on the grass. I had insisted on starting this story, for some reason. I might as well finish it. Maybe not for them, but for me”

Sometimes it can silly to do or make something for yourself, but it really is very important. Even if it feels “too different” for others to understand at times. More people will probably get more out of it than you assume.

**

If I took a shot of water every time hope appears in Lyra Brie stories I’d be a very hydrated person.

   “Maybe love is a language of its own, and you can feel it, even if you don't know what the other person is saying.”

No words. That stands on its own.

   “Everything has changed. I am different. Will they be okay with that, once they understand? They'll have to get to know me all over again. But maybe some things are still the same.    Maybe this old part of me can be part of the new, too.”

Im so strongly in love with this I’m going to be sick!

The moments with her parents were she’s first hugging her parents again, telling them her story and she loves them, and how much she missed them- wow. Just wow. Wow. WOW. W-O-W. It’s hard to choose a favorite moment but that just might be it.

“I hold them out to him, encouraging his healing the same way he did all those months for me” What a lovely image to close with. I adore the reoccurring flower motif through out. That supportive element of floriography becoming such a healing, comforting thing really just makes this story all the more special.

To summarize: I was made me Feel Feelings against my will.

[aknolan]

I think part of the discourse here really stems more from what kind of interpretation of RWBY's story you take away from the whole thing.

Your viewpoint is predicated on the idea that RWBY must completely prove the gods wrong, or it would be a disservice to the story's themes.

To me, however, a large part of the story is kind of a complicated mix, in that the villains and antagonists are PARTIALLY correct, but the issue is how they twist a kernel of truth into a means of abuse and control over domains that they don't really have any right to claim control over.

The Gods ARE correct that Life and Death shouldn't be treated carelessly, but they are consistently shown to be hypocrites who use it as a means to enforce their power over others.

Adam and Sienna WERE correct about the state of Faunus, but the former twisted the cause into satiating his own bloodlust and petty egotism.

Ironwood WAS correct that Salem needed to be known as a villain publicly in order to better combat her, but he refused to acknowledge that he wasn't that important and was twisted by Atlas' pro-conformity and fascistic culture into believing that he knew what was best for the world, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Jacques WAS correct that Ironwood was becoming as much of a danger to his country, but that was fueled out of self-serving greed and his own gain.

The recurring point that RWBY tends to follow is that the Villains are not people without a point, but that they use the point as a means to enforce unjust control and power over others.

But it doesn't make them completely wrong.

And the honest reality is; I think Penny not coming back is not inherently an incorrect or thematically wrong way of doing things, because ultimately she already PROVED that the Gods are full of shit.

She came back to life TWICE despite being killed.

The Gods have already been proven WRONG.

Her final death is just proof of something else; that even when you do everything right, even when you do manage to defy the expectations and possibilities laid out before you, bad shit can still happen anyways. It's literally what happened with Ozma dying from illness after he and Salem got together.

What happened to her last life was not the result of the story going against it's themes; it was just simply the result of poor choices on Penny's part and plain bad luck. That's it.

And Choices are just as much of a theme in the story, and poor choices or lack of choices are too.

The key is not in proving the Gods completely wrong, but in wresting control away from them so that THEY can't be the ones to dictate terms. They are NOT the arbiters of everything despite what the God of Light believes.

But that doesn't mean life and death will cease to matter. It'll still exist as the tragedy in someone's life.

I don't really disagree with you on like, 95% of this honestly.

I think it's helpful to recognize though, the wider context of the argument. In the simplest form, the fact that I am in that post responding to someone making the claim that Salem was at fault for what happened with the gods. So yeah, my argument there is about how she wasn't wrong for trying to get Ozma back, and Ruby wouldn't be wrong either for trying to get Penny back.

And yeah, life and death shouldn't be treated carelessly, but that's why it's important that this happens in Fairytale Bullshit Land, where Penny's Magic Aura Bullshit Body may have landed. These are very unique circumstances! This isn't gonna end up being a repeatable situation. They are incapable of treating life and death carelessly, and I'm sure that if they manage to bring Penny back with them, there will be a cost.

And the point of the gods has not been refuted yet. Not on screen.

Penny's revival happened off screen, and on the technicality that she wasn't actually dead. She was still on Remnant. Her core was intact, and that's why she could come back. Had she been completely destroyed, she would have been truly very dead.

And the situation with Ambrosius? She wasn't dead.

I consider this cheating death, rather than really being a proper "brought back from dying". Even disregarding that though... it's our protagonists who need to refute the villains.

Pietro revived Penny, team rwby cheated with the staff of creation. But Ruby making the active choice to bring Penny back would be a very clear message that she understands Salem. No moral high ground to keep there, on Salem's original problem with the gods. And when you have an unkillable enemy, that is desperately needed.

I also don't think Penny needs to die to drive home the message you put in bold. Plenty of things went wrong already, like losing both of the relics, and the "one way trip to Vacuo".

Lastly though, as long as the comparison between ruby/penny and salem/ozma exists, the elephant in the room remains as well.

If the comparison holds up... it's reasonable to interpret Ruby and Penny as romantically in love with each other, and then we get back to the writers wanting to avoid playing into the bury your gays trope.

Really though, a lot of what you say about complicated mixes of right and wrong are things I agree with. I also can absolutely see the sort of themes someone could go for with permadead Penny. But I take issue with it on several grounds, including that it feels a lot like fridging (except that the protagonist is also a woman this time, adding some bury your gays flavour). And, you know, I just like Penny and would like to think better of the writers than the fuck-up for her story that is the last three episodes of v8.

And that's just talking about the thematic stuff, not even the allusions or the things that don't add up.

[imthepunchlord]

Them expanding on lessons for other characters to learn would solve so many issues. And I do think it could be set up that, not only do major characters learn lessons, but minor ones could too.

Like, Gamer, I felt that was better set up for Max to learn a lesson about good sportsmanship, how to handle a loss. I agree with @nobodyfamousposts that even if Marinette didn't join, if he lost as the tournament, he still would've become an akuma. To add to it, you have how he behaves to her post his time as an akuma, back turned, giving her a stink eye, actnig like she cheated though she won fair and square.

It'd be one thing if she did, but she didn't. All she had was she didn't join for "the right reason", but your reasons for joining a competition don't matter. What matters is the performance and sportsmanship. Between the two, he's the one I'd point to that needed the lesson.

Heck, they were even somewhat aware of this back in s1, that Marinette herself can't solely learn lessons. Alix in Timebreaker acknowledges her faults in this situation and apologizes.

It's a shame they didn't keep that going. A lot of frustrations a lot of have could be resolved if characters who were truly at fault were acknowledged and learn lessons and apologized for it. Refleckdoll, Alya was at fault for the whole thing but it's Marinette who gets pinned the blame despite her efforts to try and help. Horrificator, Nino's at fault for taking advantage of this situation, but aside from a few call outs, he doesn't learn a lesson about this. Doesn't apologize to Mylene for all the pressure he puts on her. And then Kuro Neko with Adrien skipping out because he's bothered by LB relying on other heroes, which has her relying on other heroes more because he's skipping out, which just bums him more which just adds to the cycle, and she's at fault for this?

It really would've solved so many issues if the acknowledgement of who's at fault and who learns lessons was expanded. Especially as, usually, that helps characters grow and become better (though that does require consistency and Miraculous doesn't know her). Adrien and Alya, who I do feel frustrations at, I can still see that potential in them as characters; if their shortcomings were acknowledged instead of hand waved away, if they got to learn lessons, if they got to truly have the limelight for certain eps.

It would also be nice having a defined major cast. Despite what a lot of fans default to, there is no actual Miraculous Team. I would define that existence as a group that is 4 or more, that work together in fights regularly, and work off each other pretty equally or close to it. But Miraculous doesn't have that. That would require more full time heroes, and that would require other characters to really get attention, and to see different interactions and conflicts between characters, and get to see their own personal issues and means of growth.

But we don't have that.

Who are the actual major characters are really just Adrien and Marinette (with Marinette especially shoved into center stage), and semi Alya, who barely fits the bill of a major character as she hardly works off Adrien/Chat Noir. Even as a full time hero, she didn't interact with the whole team. I get why, but you can't have an actual team dynamic with that set up.

There is Chloe, who technically meets all the qualifications to be a major character as she does work off both Adrien and Marinette (could work off Chat more though given we got quite a bit of her with LB), but her whole situation is a hot mess and she's not meant to be counted as a hero. But who knows, That Guy isn't apart of ML's production anymore and I think Zag likes her so maybe hero Chloe will make a return in s6? Who knows.

But no one else really fits that criteria to count as part of the major cast.

Nino is barely a character and he can't exist outside Adrien and Alya. I genuinely feel like he's only around because he's popular with fans, otherwise he would've been faded out to be amongst the classmates. Which from what I've seen, he kinda is, he just gets a little more attention in comparison.

Only other I'd consider as another potential is Kagami, but she's got her own issues that keeps me from really counting her as major character. Largely, Kagami has different personalities for the episode requirement, so that lack of consistency is a big issue and does not help with her characterization. She's not a full time hero (I actually wondered post Riptose if she would've stepped up as a Miraculousless vigilante, but nope. We can't have nice things). And while she does work off Marinette and Adrien a quite bit, and she has worked off LB a bit, she doesn't ever work off Chat (to my knowledge, which in hindsight is surprising).

It is a big bummer that we didn't get an actual Miraculous Team, as this is supposed to be a Magical Girl show, and majority of them do have an actual team.

But I guess that potential of friendships, exploring dynamics, and characters getting expanded upon would've taken away from the dragged out romance that didn't have anything really substantial happening until s5.

In Defense of Marinette

I like Marinette. While there are many valid criticisms of her writing, the same can be said for literally every other character and she's actually doing pretty well given that she's the main character. After all, in a show where consistent characterization is an ongoing issue, the one with the most screen time will probably be the one who's the biggest victim of the issue.

This is heavily exacerbated by the rule that supposedly governs Miraculous. Namely that, in each story, Marinette must make a mistake. Or, at least, so says the head writer:

I really do not care what this guy says on Twitter or anywhere else. I only care about what's in the show because, if you have to go outside the text to understand the text, then you have no idea how to tell a good story.

However, unlike many of the tweets that I've seen, this one isn't some BS bit of lore. It's a writing rule and it has substantial backing in the text. It's extremely rare to have an episode where Marinette comes out smelling like roses and that's a problem because Miraculous has over 100 episodes. In other words, to follow this rule, the writers have to come up with over 100 ways for Marinette to be wrong so of course she's going to come across poorly. Why would you do this to your main character?

It's extremely common for kids shows to have a "lesson of the day" element to them. Someone always needs to learn something, but I've never seen a show misunderstand the assignment so badly. Learning a lesson is not the same as doing something wrong.

It's been a while since I watched the 2010 version of My Little Pony, but it really leaned into that whole "lesson of the day" thing and it actually knew what it was doing, so I'm going to talk about it briefly to discuss things that Miraculous should have done.

The first thing to note is that MLP had an unambiguous main character - Twilight Sparkle - but Twilight was not the one who learned all of the lessons. She had a pet dragon and a crew of five friends who would, occasionally, be the ones to learn the lesson because there were lots of lessons that simply didn't fit Twilight's character. Instead of warping Twilight to make the idea work (cough cough Ikari Gozen cough), the writers just let someone else have the spotlight for a bit.

This is an excellent way to build out your cast and Miraculous had plenty of opportunities to do it. For example, Lila should not have been Marinette's issue. The fact that Lila hates Marinette could have certainly stuck around, but the one who takes her down and learns to investigate her sources? That should have been Alya. A liar is the perfect enemy for an investigative journalist, but a poor enemy for someone who shines as a battlefield commander and overthinks when she's given too much time.

Another way that MLP would teach lessons was to have someone other than Twilight or the main crew cause the issue that they then had to deal with. This leads to one of the best moments in children's television:

And, frankly? Marinette deserves a moment like this. That poor girl has been through hell and is never allowed to make the right call when it really matters. The show will even completely rewrite its lore to make her fail (see: Strike Back). That is such an awful thing to do to your lead! Shows about female empowerment should include women feeling powerful and, no, Lila and Chloe don't count!

Also, the show is literally about Gabriel taking advantage of people who are upset. You don't need to have Marinette make a mistake to shoehorn in a life lesson. Akumas are life lesson fodder and season 1 actually seemed to get this. I'm not sure why they switched gears to "Marinette is the star and, therefore, must always be wrong."

The final way that MLP taught lessons was to have Twilight do something wrong because having your main character do something wrong is a totally valid way to teach lessons. It just shouldn't be your only way because you know who is always wrong in children's media?

Villains.

They wrote Marinette like a villain.

And a large part of the fandom hates her for it because of course they do.

You're not supposed to like villains.

[oc-cinematic-universe]

🌿Dara, 💐 Joe, 🥀for anyone of your choice!

🌿 What is something true about your OC that they refuse to admit about themselves? Is there any reason to this besides embarrassment?

oughg,,,,,,, ok so like obviously Dara refuses to admit she killed that kid that's like the entire conflict of the story. And who the fuck would want to admit something like that? That you killed a 10 year old 70 years ago? It was supposed to be OVER. She's already gone through the motions for it she's already done everything she can to become a better person (everything except acknowledge the ghost still lurking), she doesn't want to lose the people she loves by telling them she did something fucking horrific decades ago, especially when she's still convinced everyone can get out of this without knowing. And can you fucking blame her???? Even at the current point of the comic when she's accepted she has to tell people, she struggles so much to just say it without breaking down. She still tries to get out of it because it's just that terrifying. and can you fucking blame her

The other thing she refuses to admit to people tho is that she's a good person. She refuses to admit she's done anything awful, but she also refuses to let anyone see her as good. She can't let them know that. It's going to be a lot easier if they let her be a monster

💐 How would your OC react to somebody telling them that they love them? (+ bonus give another characters/OC name!)

Definitely depends on the scenario. 90% of situations, Joe will get so awkward with it because now he has to figure out if they mean like romantically and if he needs to break it to them he's arospec alisuDHALSIUDH But also he doesn't wanna be mean so there's a really good chance he is just going to laugh awkwardly and get out of there as fast as possible. No thank you <3 If he's really close to someone tho, he's really chill with it. Immediately flips it back around on them and may or may not try to one up them on it. Like ok sure you love me but did you fucking know? That I love you more than the world itself? Fuckin idiot get wrecked. Honestly it's bordering on him not letting himself think about it and trying to make it about them, but he DOES still accept that they love him he just doesn't know how to express that without flipping it around to them

🥀 What is something your OC blames themself for and is it really their fault? Does it keep them up at night and is there any lingering trauma?

GODDD BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR A COUPLE DAYS NOW. I wrote A Scene in the comic script recently and ohhhhhhhh my god. oh my GODDDD.

Do you know. How much Theron does not want to do this. They're 10. They want Dara dead yeah they want to make her miserable they want to see her explode. They also don't want to actually do any of the stuff involved to make that happen they are 10 years old and they are so small so you can imagine the kind of stress they are under. It would've been SIMPLE if the goal was just to get in and kill Dara, it would've been SO FUCKING EASY. But NO. The only 2 people Theron has in their life (death?) are telling them the only option is to get other innocent people involved. And Theron doesn't! Know how to argue with it! They are 10 years old! ...They did still let it happen. They intentionally looked away to try to remove themself from the blame. And yeah they aren't the one who killed anyone. And they are A Child who really didn't have a lot of say in the matter. But it's gonna haunt them for a very long time.

[echantedtoon]

I'm Blue Ch1 Prologue

Blue has a weird name. Not her fault her parents weren't that creative. Nor is it her fault they were terrible and pushed her to becoming the person she is now. Now only if she could catch a break from bumping her head into walls, worrying about falling over in traffic, or even falling in love with someone she barely known and never seen.

(Warning: This chapter contains past abuse of the verbal kind, cursing, an attacker using fire to hurt my oc, and visible scarring. Please if any of these things trigger or bother you in the slightest do not read it. The events of this particular chapter take place when Blue was at the age of 14-15.)

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Went the sounds of the machine's living motherboard as it monitored the heartbeats of the living girl lying on the bed. The pale flesh seared and permanently marked as one would call a failure. Failure to stop herself from being the one to be helplessly screaming bloody murder painfully in the night. Failure to stop herself from being stomped to the ground and humiliated. Failure...Failure...

"FAILURE!!!! DAM YOU!!"

"BECAUSE OF YOU WE'RE THE DAM LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE NIEGHBORHOOD!! YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING BAD IT LOOKS ON US WHEN YOU'RE FACE IS PLASTERED ALL OVER THE PAPER  FOR EVERYONE TO SEE!?"

Something sounding like a newspaper was thrown harshly to the floor. And that's what this was. Wastful. Failure. 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"What are we supposed to do now?! This is bullshit! You're supposed to be applying to the schools in less than a week! Who's going to accept a withered flower that can't even stand on her own two feet!?''

"We'll be lucky if she's even taken into consideration."

"Forget it! There's no use for it now! All those years of planning!! WASTED!!"

"How could you do this to us?! Didn't you know everything we've ever done was for you!?"

"WASTED!!"

Beep. Beep Beep.

How long had she been lying there now? Staring up at the ceiling in silent black. The echoes of the past screams still rung through her brain since that day. And now she's been alone for quite a while. No one to see how pathetic she looked lying there staring at the darkness besides the occasional nurse or doctor who smelt of too much of cleaning product. Always with those smiling happy voices telling her how much better she looked and how her parents were coming to pick her up soon, which was never in her dark experience. It was always the same routine she lost count of how many times she was just dripping in and out of her black daze most of the time she had no idea if she was awake or not. The thing keeping her from knowing she hadn't died was the infernal beeping of the machine's heartbeats regulating through the silence. Everything was always numb feeling as well so it was.....Nice to know that she wasn't dead yet. Another day another day of the darkness being her new home of course.

Beep. beep. Beep.

The head on the pillow numbly turned in acknowledgment to the smiling Doctor who visited the room around everyday to see the patient who remained silent in days passed. Nothing new with the smiling and the typical questioning of the doctors smiling voice in the dark...But there was a clear difference with this time. As the man sat closer without asking. When he grabbed the numb girl's hand. There was a shift in the routine body language as the smiling voice became uneasy...hesitant even. As he stared at the unmoving living figure in the bed.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news about your recovery."

Failure at that.

"You may not understand at first, and it's perfectly ok. There's lots of people who go through this everyday so you're not alone."

Never understood. Always alone.

"And don't worry. It's not as bad as a lot of people make it out to be. You're young, so it shouldn't be too hard for you to find a way around it and live a fantastic life all on your own."

It's not that bad. She would've gotten a fantastic like.

"What I'm trying to say is that.....I'm afraid there wasn't any way we were able to save your over all vision. There's no safe way to repair the damage without going in there and risking making it worse for you. And parts of your wing there was burnt so badly we had to remove the burnt membrane to keep the rest of your body healthy. You'll be suffering some serious drawl backs and pain for a long while, but you should consider yourself still lucky to be alive."

You should consider yourself lucky!!

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!!!!

The chilly nip of the dark night chipped away at her skin when she had walked along the sidewalk. The way familiar for her since she had taken this way down the sidewalk at night plenty of times by herself from the pressures of home and her parents. It was a very safe neighborhood with a good amount of very heroic people and families living there so no one really expects the scum of the earth to rear their ugly faces there for whatever reasons. But really no one really expected the hands to grab her. The slam of her head to the brick alley wall. Or the sneering faces of the dark as hands searched her body and pulled everything from her. Backpack was ripped painfully from her back. Useless books of the history of maths and sciences thrown to the ground and pencils scattered breaking under the feet of the fiends. Her ears rung as the breathing of her lungs heaved and her heart could be felt in her throat and chest and also joining the pain of ringing her ears gave. There was too much going on to register properly. Too many hands pushing her. Too many demands for money a broke student didn't have. Too much pain of the ones holding her down. Too dark to see their faces. But there would be light soon enough. The scream that tore out out of her mouth wasn't the girl was a terrorfied young lady who couldn't get away and no amounts of threats of 'shut up' would get her to stop so soon. So perhaps she could be distracted by some lovely fireworks. Orange flames crackled and lit up the sky as the angry face of the fiends were lit up by the flameworks. A scream tore out through the night as the smell of burning filled the air and woke every sleeping being from their peaceful slumber. The night filled by those blood curdling yells and orange pain filling her entire being. She didn't know why there was blue and red lights added to her vision or when she heard the sirens wailing. Or feel the cold concrete as she fell over. Or when the darkness crept up on her as she passed out. But she had been given a generous(rude-) wake up call by her visitors.

Failure.

"SHIT!! SOMEONE GET IN HERE AND HELP ME RETRAIN HER!! GET A SEDATOR QUICKLY!!!"

The hands held the wailing one down as the beeping machine sprang to life as it raced like a marathon. Anyone not awake now surely was by the horrible screams until the darkness claimed the victim again.   

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP

Beep....Beep...Beep

[reign-factors]

As an update being civilized man, instead of tarnishing a record of Blair Slavazza. I believe it being fair to ask for a ride along from her sergeant. Small city don't plan on going that far. So I will use my past tax dollars and go to her sergeant and ask for a ride along. To level the playing field . I would love to hear about equal rights and how this day in the reservist free liberal bay we as a city must uphold the cycle of civilization make sure we as a community need to work together so we are equal with rights respected in each authority. Since on October first 2020 I just came from court . When I got off phone with dispatch I went to my lawyers number to call since order with what you arrested me for was modified to no Ham and since I called for a civil standby i stayed on recorded line till you came on scene . All I did was follow dispatches instructions . You threw down my phone putting me in hand cuffs when I was supposed to be there. I met all the judges requirements as well as you so called sister. The medicine you ripped the label off was saving my life from a suicide attempt. When I noticed your biased ways only then I requested for a male to search me since they were on seen including a sgt. You honored it you will not honor the same one when putting me in car. If I was not supposed to be there why did you leave my stuff there when you're supposed to log that in property. I had all my medicines paperwork on hand at my lawyer's number I was on a recording call when you pulled up to the scene and I was the one who called you guys. I was told from my wife I could come home but she lied to you guys but you the sergeant and her has some some words which I know were caught on your body Cam that had to be on right if they weren't on I'll gladly say online and everything but I was not that's why I kept sending social media accounts of your department on their disregard for the law. That's why I always hastagged it and I sent it to you. I help raise five brilliant children learning on my way and becoming better that's why in the beginning of 2020 none of the officers knew my name. I'm came a functioning man of society who has rehabilitated and corrected myself. Everything I told you guys was not a lie. Like me being a borderline diabetic or when my housing is stable I am able to control it with heathy eating habits and not medicine. Do you even lie to say our waiting for the cop to bring me the probation paper but when he brought it you had to lie it says everything I said to you proving that I was being honest. But I'm trying to be the bigger person consider humanity over being judge as a non-functioning member of society I've learned a lot of lessons in my life and I was on the right path but you jeopardize that yes not on your record for one reason is because I because I avoided the 6 months that I could write a complaint but for you to not acknowledge it or your captain not to acknowledge it and discuss it without disciplinary faults is way better than having this streets disrupted. Because it did happen October 1st 2020 on your body cam your sergeant barleycam all the officers on scene body cam you in the transportation even though you could have taken me in your car because that's what you searched me for I'm trying to be the solution not the problem . What are you trying to be the solution or the problem you is a officer need to get that off your chest because he has a taxpayer don't feel that if you can't answer that properly you shouldn't be a cop on another job there's other people that can have your position that can follow the rules especially the ones that the ACLU brought to trial and won. I would think you being a female in a mixed individual you could understand rights and rights taken away in a civil basis. This angers me so much I'm just going to take a couple minutes to reflect into bring down my cosmic vibrations all I can do now is just pray look out for part two.

[tzipor-feather-blog]

How did I become a genius-Chapter Three

I'm with my friend from kindergarden. She's my best friend. I'm 10 now.

She always invents stupid lies and says I'm a bad friend if I don't believe her. When I do believe her she then says how stupid I am for believing such lies. That she was just pretending. I guess that's hard love.

I learn that you can't trust people. You should never let your guard down or they'll just mock you for trying to be a good friend. Trust can never be achieved. People will always laugh at your feelings and backstab you. That's just how things are.

I should never show weakness or everyone will use it against me. So I created this intricate system to solve it. I can't change them, but I can change myself. That's what my parents taught me.

It consists of a set of rules of how to behave around others and a cage of emotions inside my head. If I control my every moment, there are less chances of being attacked physically or emotionally, thus achieving inner peace.

An ass face is also super important. If they're scared of you and feel like they can't approach you, you can't get attacked. No one gets inside your physical nor your mental space.

Some of the rules are:

. Always respect people no matter what. Even if they disrespect you, and you disrespect them back, no one will acknowledge it. (I've learn't this one at school, after I was bullied by my classmates, the teacher asked what happened. They cried saying that I insulted them. I said that that was true but that they insulted me first. The teacher made us both apologize even though I was just defending myself and didn't dig deeper into the situation). This leads to the next rule.

. Everything's my fault even when it isn't. (If the teacher's always make me apologize when my classmates bully me, my mom gets mad because I can't defend myself and my dad says that people only do stuff to you if you let them, that everything depends only on me, there's no other explanation. It's just logic).

. Never show weakness. Never like something that others don't like in public. Never show desire, for sexual desire (or any desire) is always something to be laughed at and not a real and valid emotion. Desire should never be felt, because if you feel it, other's could see it, and if others could see it, they can laugh at you and use it against you. Any emotion or action that is not considered normal or is considered weird can and will be used as a weapon. That leads to the next rule.

. Always be vigilant of your surroundings. If you're always on alert mode with a poker face, no one can see what you're really feeling and therefore remind you for years on end of whatever action you've done. Alert mode never ceases even when I'm alone in my room. You never know when someone could be watching you.

. Be a good girl. Always. For if I'm not, I'll be scolded by others and never recognize I may have had a reason for doing a bad thing. It's not worth it doing things to defend myself if I always have to apologize for them. So it's better to always be good so that I don't have to go through the hassle of apologizing. It's just a waste of time defending myself. Nothing changes. And it never will.

. Be a good student, because it's your only obligation and you should make your parents proud. It's the only thing that goes well in your life. Losing control of that it's like losing control of everything else.

. Always use the cage of emotions in case a rule is broken. Scold myself with autoinflinged headaches and inner screams until I can't anymore with my own crying. It helps me keep myself in line.

Previous chapter

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Masterpost

[kipaparappa]

I spent years and years to invalidate my own feelings, trauma, and hardship. Just came to agreement with myself to acknowledge everything in recent years...

maybe she holds a grudge over how we were treated differently by our parents. Seriously, I don't want to become that person that I was 7 years ago and try to find solution over someone else's struggle. but this one can't just sit right in my brain. She was talking as if I got all the love ignoring my own struggle I was fighting because I got everything she could ever desired. Even if those are true, sorry but it was not my fault. How our parents acted was never my fault and the way you put the weigh on me was extremely frustrating. Every time I am digging about my family matter I always break down in tears and ugly crying myself to sleep.

This is why I never rely to you as a big sister or similar figure because you can't afford to shake that grudge off from me. Now that I live with my parents and know about them better than you do, suddenly you turn your back on me, hunt me down like I was the only child they ever care about. Listen, just how much more do you want me to curl up and mind my own business inside my blanket of loneliness. You have no idea about what I went through, despite all that how lonely do I get inside this big hollow house. How unloved I felt throughout these years inside endless misunderstandings. Even after I walk away from all those cage, try to embrace my good and bad parts, I still remain extremely depressed. I lost everything motivation that kept me going on. I have been battling with loneliness, from the time I can't even remember. While you are gifted with ability to socialize, to have people's support, connection, on the other end, I... had never got to enjoy any of that. I fully understand that we are the opposite end of each other, while desiring the life we have at each side

[vero-icon]

I love making fun of EM's because of that (because this is my petty revenge for all those "TheY aRe CoUsInS comments"), but being totally fair, this discourse is all Isayama's fault.

Isayama was painfully inconsistent in what he wanted to do with this pair.

I have two theories:

1. Mikasa's relationship with Eren was supposed to be platoni, but due to some pressure (fans, editor, publishing company idk), he made them, very clumsily, romantic.

If I was an EM shipper, I would be soooo disappointed with the handling of my beloved pair. It's better to have some canon crumbs feeding your delulu, than chapter 139 as canon confirmation af a ship.

2. Mikasa's relationship with Eren was supposed to be romantic, but Isayama can't write romance even if his life depended on it. Everything that was done with them, was too unconvincing and confusing for me to interpret it as reciprocated romantic love.

- Mikasa's adoption into Jäger family. People argue that it wasn't unofficial adoption, they lived only for a year as a family, Eren never saw her as a sister.

But at the same time we have official Guidebook:

Mikasa loved Eren as a brother

Interviews Eren saw Mikasa as mother's presence: source

Chapter 121 Grisha calling Mikasa his daugther

Lost girls Mikasa's mom pointing out, EM look like siblings

From readers perspective: if they started as "family" and then in the course of the story their feelings changed to romantic - SHOW IT TO ME! Show me as their feelings grow. Show me the turning point. Show me that both of them are on the same page.

(My favorite shonen example for this: Ed and Winry from FMA. Started as childhood friends, lived almost as siblings during childhood, but as the story progresses, it is shown how their feelings for each other are changing, how they become aware of the changes, how they are embracing them)

- Mikasa cared for Eren from the beginning, but I don't like to think it was romantic love.

It makes a much more interesting story for Mikasa to build a relationship based on friendship and familial support, than make her fall in love with a boy, the main protagonist (trite and boring) Friendship is not less than romantic love and children can build pretty strong platonic bonds. Why not acknowledge that? Mikasa says "family, family" so many times in the story. Am I supposed to dismiss it?

- Eren does not show any appreciation or admiration towards Mikasa, like he does towards Armin, Reiner, Annie, Historia. Her caring nature makes him overwhelmed. Her physical ability makes him jealous. Her support makes him angry, because it reminds him of his own shortcomings. Her goals and dreams do not inspire him. How is it basis for love? What actually does he love about her?

- Smiling Titan scene. Mikasa's confession was as close to romantic confession as it could be. It did look like, she wanted to kiss Eren. And THIS would be a fantastic starting point for their relationship to grow into romance. But what did happen after that? NOTHING. Did Eren acknowledge what happened and what was said? No.

- Chapter 108 Eren confesses to ALL of his friends, that they are important to him and he wants them to live long lives.

Mikasa and Eren share a glance, quite cute, but you know what? Nothing substantial came out of it.

- Chapter 123 Eren: "What am I to you?" Mikasa: "Family"

If Mikasa was in love in Eren, what was that? Denial? Is she not aware of her own feelings after all this years? Or maybe, it's simply the truth? Eren is family to her.

If Eren really wanted, he could have continue this conversation that evening, night or morning after. Drunk confession, hehehe.

Eren is ready to kill all life outside Paradis, he cuts off his own leg and gouges out his own eye, but can't talk honestly about his feelings to the one person he should be talking about it. He talks to Zeke about it. He talks to Louise about it (He told her to throw Mikasa’s scarf away, chapter 126). He talks to Armin about it.

But never to Mikasa.

It's like... she does not deserve his honesty? His fears and regrets? To show her, what's really on his mind? - fear that her loyalty is manufactured by some supernatural bond (Zeke) - fear that he will die soon and Mikasa will cling to the memory of him, not living her life fully, as she deserves (Louise) - regret that he will die and he will be forgotten without experiencing a life with his love (Armin)

WTF is this relationship and charater development? Mikasa was ready to share Erens burdens from the moment they met. And Eren was oblivious to all that or he didn't care. He grew up, his feeling changed, but he remained a dumbass and didn't treat her fairly.

- Cabin dream To this day it's unclear for me, if this is a vision, Eren shared with Mikasa or is this Mikasa's dream, alternative timeline or whatever.

Eren should not be able to alter Mikasa's memories, because it was stated earlier - Ackermans are immune to the power ot the Founding Titan. So how could this be Erens doing?

In Lost Girls Mikasa created an alternate reality in her mind, where Eren is still alive. So... it could be only her cabin dream.

And this is Isayamas idea of a romantic pairing, my dears.

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Sorry for my english, this is basically me, but I try.

Hey, RM fam! So, I was on Twitter, and I saw this:

I think that this would set off some die-hard Er*m*k*s. Hahaha.