#'when will i feel desired? by myself or others?' and the blow dryer just making all sounds behind me

[rashfordian]

getting your hair blowdried <<<<<< eternal hell

[cerelcereal]

Fever Dream (Jimin x Reader)

fluff, comfort, no warnings needed.

enjoy! :>

🌸

I looked out the balcony. There sat the vast view of the city's night life. Buildings glimmered with light, people inside them rustling about and wanting to finish their last minute tasks. The dark midnight shade of blue stretched across the sky, replacing the once daylight with darkness, but it never bothered anyone because of the bright stars that decorated the darkness, giving people a sense of comfort that there will always be light in the dark. Kinda like Yin-Yang.

Somehow, even if the breeze wasn't too harsh and I wore a sweater, it still felt cold. My eyes that used to be so bright and full of life is currently dull, longing for someone that I barely see. Once a year, twice if I'm lucky, but other than that, no contact at all, aside from texts, calls and facetimes. Long distance relationships was something I prepared myself for, but nothing prepared me for the loneliness and quiet that covered my days and nights.

As an independent college student, I promised myself I wouldn't rely on my bestfriends anymore for company. I wanted to break free from the chain I created that held me back a lot from what I want to do because of the slight fear of what my friends think. Even if they support me a lot in what I want to do, and never held me back, I know in the end I only held myself back and I felt guilty doing that.

I leaned on the cold metal railing of my balcony, still sadly gazing at the city, waiting for my boyfriend to at least call me. Its already 3AM but we haven't had a call for today, and I wanted to hear his voice. My cellphone was cold in my hand, dangling off the balcony.

Texts aren't enough anymore and I'm afraid that as time slowly passes, I'm becoming more and more greedy of him. I try my best not to though. I was about to close my eyes, my phone almost falling off my hand, when a familiar ringtone entered my ears, waking up every blood and fiber of my body.

A small, tired smile adorned my lips at the caller ID. I immediately answered the call, putting the small gadget against my ear. "Hello?"

"(Y/N)~! If I computed correctly, its about 2 or 3AM there. How come you're still awake?" his angelic voice rang in my ears, comfort filling my system as my smile turned more sad, yet excited.

I looked up at the sky, "I'm doing some last minute work. You know how college is. My professors are evil." I lied. I finished all my tasks way ahead of time, so that I need not to worry about them in case I received a call from my bestfriend who is currently overseas, specifically Europe, doing a tour for his band. Of course I wouldn't admit that I waited for his call. If I did, he would either be cocky or worried. I wanted neither.

"Ah, maybe I shouldn't have called. Am I disturbing you?" Worry filled his voice, and I desired nothing more than to slap myself for saying that. I just remembered how easily this boy gets worried if he interrupts my studying as he wanted me to focus on school.

I shook my head, even if he couldn't see me. "Not really. I was just finishing up. How's tour? I hope you're all doing alright."

I could feel his smile even without seeing it. "Tour is great! The fans are all amazing and nice. Everyone is fine as well, we're all doing good and eating healthy. I hope you are too! We're currently on a break, and since I haven't called today, I took the chance and called you."

I hummed, which left us both in silence. There was a lot of background noises from his line, which probably meant they were probably preparing for an interview or something.

I could hear a blow dryer near him, sone of the boys' voices saying what kind of hair they want and probably Hoseok yelling with Jungkookie in the background. While my line is probably quiet as heck, making me feel a bit more lonely even if I was in a call with him.

"I miss you. When are you coming back?" I asked, not being able to hold back my desires anymore, my voice cracking a little due to exhaustion and longing for him.

I could hear him sigh from the other line, giving me a pregnant pause before speaking again, "We had to extend the tour for at least 2 more weeks. The demand for 2nd day tickets were so much that we had to have 2 day shows for some states. I'm sorry about that, and I miss you too. But don't worry, we'll see each other soon. And I'll be home till the next comeback, which is still unmade. So you can hog me as much as you want then."

Somehow what he said didn't assure me. Because in those days and so, he'll probably be stuck in studio, producing and recording new songs, making up new dance moves and practicing them. Then we won't be able to hangout at all. That's how it always is.

A sad frown imprinted itself on my face, my hands clenching the cold gadget against my ear.

"You ass. Promise me you'll hangout with me when you get home and not be stuck in the studio all day." I said, my voice wavering a little, my throat tightening.

He laughed before saying, "I made a song about promises, so yes, I promise I'll hangout with you. I gotta go now! Our interview is about to start." So I was right, they are preparing for an interview.

I nodded unconsciously again, sad that we only talked for a couple of minutes, but I was now assured of his promise. I only have to wait for 2 more weeks then he'll be home. "I'll see you soon. Bye, Jimin. Take care."

He hummed. "Bye, (Y/N)~! See you soon as well, and eat lots of healthy foods! I wanna see you gain some weight at least when I get back." I disregarded his last comment, dropping the call, now with a satisfied expression on my face.

I went back inside my room, closing the glass door that led to the balcony, throwing my phone on the bedside table and plopping my tired body on the soft fluffy covers of my bed. I snuggled close to the sweater I was wearing, Jimin's cologne stuck in it, helping me drift easier to dreamland.

[doctorrookie]

A Spicy Surprise

A/N: This is my first ever fic (for Ethan) and boy, am I nervous. It doesn't really have a category, so let's just call it an introductory, smutty, fluffy piece. I was inspired by a Tiktok video and I really hope you like this one. I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this, just letting all my creative juices flow. Go easy on me.

My MC is a female, named Alexandria Lee. More on her soon.

Word count: 1,921

—

“Ooh, Aly look!” Sienna grabs my wrist and pulls me over to the Bath and Glory stand. A big 50% off sign graces the top shelf.

Sienna and my shift just ended, but neither of us felt too tired, so we decided that we would go out for dinner at the mall nearby. After a sumptuous meal of the heartiest pasta on the face of the earth, we decided to take a stroll around the mall to burn some of it off. Sephora was having a Christmas sale, and we both thought we could go with some new war paint for work. Upon entering, we’re greeted by name brand after name brand etched on stands that are completely wiped out.

We glance at the half-empty Bath and Glory stand, shower gels, bath bombs, skin rejuvenator, whatever that is. Sienna picked up a thin tube of what looks like clear lip gloss.

“Minty Lip Maximiser, perfect for tingly make-out sessions…” Sienna teased, and I can feel my face flush red.

Ethan and I were getting a little… steamy in the supply closet, and Sienna happened to barge in right in the middle of our lip-lock, and let’s just say it’s a miracle his tongue is still in one piece. It’s a hilarious story, but it’s one I���ll share another day.

“Sie, stop it. You’re embarrassing yourself,” I giggle as she starts making kissy faces and sloppy lip-smacking sounds.

“You should totally get this, trust me.”

She zips her lips and gives me a playful wink, a mischievous glint in her other, open eye. There’s something more to this. Something… sinful, perhaps? I just have to know more.

“Is there something more to the equation?”

Sienna pulls me in close, her lips merely an inch away from my ear. Her soft, lilting voice juxtaposes against the content of her whispers. I would have never pegged as someone who would do something like that, but I have been known to be wrong about these things. The corners of my mouth twist into a wicked grin as I formulate a plan in my mind to surprise Ethan, courtesy of Sienna’s mildly disturbing tale.

—

I head to Ethan’s apartment. I spend one or two nights here a week, even though he’s constantly begging for more, but I pay good money for the five-roomer every month, so I have to make sure I get my worth. I slipped the key into the keyhole, just tingling with anticipation to find out his response to my little prank. I scan my eyes around his apartment and find him sitting on the couch, reading (yes, you guessed it) a medical journal. He looks up and beams at me, a smile I absolutely adore.

“Hi, rookie.” He pats the seat next to him, inviting me to join him. I set my bag down on the counter and make my way to his uber comfortable couch. He pulls me in by the waist for a tight hug and I can smell the faint combination of cologne, detergent, and aftershave all over him. The scent is truly intoxicating, and I find myself breathing in deep, revelling in his warmth. He places a soft, tender kiss on my forehead, his light stubble tickling me as I lean into him.

“Hey, Dr Ramsey, how was your day off?”

I turn myself slightly and lean my legs on the rest of the available couch space. I’ve been on them for 10 days straight, being on call and having multiple shifts lined up. I could use about a week’s worth of bed rest. That is, only if he’s right next to me.

“It was fine. Not as good as it could have been…” he closes the journal and places it on the coffee table, giving me his undivided attention.

“Aww, why is that?” I feign ignorance as I run a hand through his soft, dark locks, tousling it in the process.

“I know you just want me to say it’s because you’ve been gone all day.”

“Alright, then say it.”

He sighs lightly, a smirk appearing on his lips.

“Fine. It’s because you, Dr Alexandria Lee, have been away from me for more than 12 hours, and I had to wake up all alone this morning, holding and kissing, mind you, what I thought was my beautiful girlfriend, but turned out to be a pillow that smelled exactly like your hair.”

Ethan Ramsey, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. The sky is falling.

“Well, let’s see what I can do to make up for it then.”

I shift slightly so that my legs were in his lap and lean in close to plant a kiss on his lips, but with one strong move, he pinned my wrists down onto the seat cushions and hovered over me, his breath warm against my neck. He starts attacking my neck with kisses, and they burn into my skin with great passion and desire. He catches me by surprise when he gently nibbles and sucks on the sensitive spot right below my earlobe. My shallow breaths hitch and a soft moan escape me before I could suppress it. All thoughts disperse from my head, like a cloud of smoke. I just need him to do this to me all night long. He pulls away all of a sudden.

“E, what…”

“Let’s save this for later.  After all, we’ve got all night. And I have plans for every single minute of it.”

As much as I hate being teased, delicious tingles run up and down my body. We’ve both got a day off tomorrow and I can’t wait to see what shenanigans we’d be up to. Something wholesome, or something a little… dirtier.

“You’re right. I’ll go take a shower.”

I grab my purse, careful to not let him see the sheer, flimsy garment I have hidden in it. I make my way to the en-suite bathroom as I feel his eyes on me.

“Dr Ramsey, don’t you know it’s impolite to stare?” I say without turning back.

“Well, I can’t help it because…” He trails off.

“Because what?” I turn back, and our eyes lock.

“I like you, rookie.”

And with that, he opens up the journal and begins reading again. I sigh contentedly.

“I like you too, doctor.”

I close the bedroom door and scavenge for my towel, which is neatly folded next to his in the bathroom. I find a cute little basket of bottles adorned with jasmines and candy canes. A note sits on top of it.

Some olfactory stimulation to match how gorgeous you are, both inside and out

- E

This man truly knows his way around my heart. I’ve only mentioned I love jasmine-scented things once in passing. I can’t believe he remembered. And there’s this note. I can’t believe he went to visit my favorite retailer to get this, especially since there aren’t many outlets in Boston.

The sky is truly falling, and so am I.

I untie the ribbon and take a deep sniff of the lovely scent. Mmm… jas-mint. I love it.

—

I step out of the shower, reaching for my fluffy lilac towel. It even smells like him. I wrap it around my shoulders, the thick material providing some warmth on this cold winter day. I hunt around for the blow-dryer and let the heat take away those wet hair shudders. I rummage through my bag and find the little black negligee that I ordered last week. It got here yesterday, just in time for our weekly rendezvous. I slip it on and toss my hair back before checking how everything looks in the mirror.

Perfect.

As if on cue, the little Sephora bag tumbles out of my purse. I almost feel guilty about my little plan, but curiosity has always got the best of me. I unwrap the tube and apply some of the plumper on my lips. It’s got a menthol-cool burn, but nothing I can’t handle. I just hope Ethan has the same tolerance level as I do.

I drop my purse on the bedroom floor and twist the doorknob open, poking my head out to the living room. Ethan’s in the same position, still engrossed in the journal. He doesn’t notice my stroll from the bedroom to the couch, nor did he sense my hovering presence.

I clear my throat. “Ahem, Dr Ramsey.”

He looked up at me, mouth gaping as he took it all in.

“Aly…”

He pulled me down onto his lap, his dilated pupils becoming a tell-tale sign about his positive reaction to my little get-up. Well, one of the signs anyway.

“Mmm?” I try to stimulate a response from him.

“You look amazing.”

“Kiss me,” I whisper in his ear while slipping his glasses off, trying to stifle all signs of my mean-spirited prank. As I say that, a part of me is kicking myself for ruining this moment, and another part of me is bursting with laughter, just awaiting his response. Either way, it’s too late to back out as he’s leaning in steadily, eyes fluttering shut. I reciprocate and we lock lips tenderly. A faint taste of scotch, mixed with the mint from my gloss. Mmm.

Before any one of us could deepen the kiss, he pulls away all of a sudden, eyes wide as saucers.

“Aly, what is that?” He says urgently, breathing in and out from his mouth. “Oh gosh, it burns!”

He yelps and starts fanning his lips. The sight of it makes me burst out in laughter. The usually stoic Dr Ethan J. Ramsey is flapping his hands about and making an involuntary duck face.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME, LEE?” He groans loudly.

I barely managed to catch my breath, and he starts yelping in pain, triggering a second wave of belly laughs. Oh gosh, no one will believe me when I tell this story.

“Lip plumper…” I whimper through my laughs.

“They feel so numb. Are they bigger?” He points to his swollen, red lips. Well, it did say extreme plumping on the packaging.

I nod cautiously because he seems angrier right now than I’ve ever seen him. His eyebrows furrow as he squeezes his eyes tight. I love this.

I walk over to the kitchen to get him a glass of water and he downs it quick. After about a minute, he calms down and regains his composure. I give him a little sideways smirk as I pout my lips slightly and lean in to kiss him again.

“Woah, woah, Lee,” he holds a hand up to cup my mouth. “There’s no way you’re getting near these lips for a week!”

“Aww come on. After so many naughty texts today and that hickie you left on me just now?” I push my hair to the side to reveal the bruise forming beneath my earlobe.

“Fuck…” He groans. I’ve got him hooked.

“How can I be sure that you don’t stab me in my sleep tonight?” He cautiously backs away from me.

“Oh come on, I think you’d be able to see if I have a knife hidden on me right now, right?” I stand up and do a slow twirl for him, making sure to slow down and display the back of my lace thong to him.

He stands up and grabs my wrist, pulling me into the bedroom.

“Fine, we’ll have to work out a punishment for your escapade, but you’re not getting that pretty little mouth anywhere near…”

“We’ll see…”

[becuztaelien]

2| The Haircut

Part Two/?

1.8k Words, Warning: Highkey Smut ahead

“And you, babygirl… are going to tell me, tell me what you want?”

Now you had two options; either you could put up a fight and play hard to get-considering he did just make your job a hundred times harder-or you could allow yourself to be taken by him and since the latter is what usually happened you decided to go with the former. You weren’t going to let him sweet talk you, you weren’t going to let him get all cocky and get what he always wanted. Nope.

You smirked against his finger resting on your lips and removed your arms from around his neck bringing them up to push his finger on to his own lips and backed away from his embrace. He looked at you, confused, good, you thought, things were going well so far.

“Well… if I’m going to get what I want, I’m going to have to think about this for a bit.” You skipped to your shared bedroom hearing Jin pacing close behind you. This is going to be fun.

You stopped right at the door and turned around to face him. “And where do you think you’re going?”

“You didn’t want me to follow you?” he looked like a lost puppy and you could feel yourself slowly gaining control of the situation.

“Did I say I wanted you to follow me?”

“No…?”

“Then why are you here?” Jin scratched his head and turned on his heel, going back to the bathroom. When he was no longer in sight you strolled to your top drawer and pulled out his favourite black lingerie; he had bought it for you last Valentines and that was the only time you had worn it. You grinned at yourself, what an interesting turn of events, you thought as you stripped yourself of your jeans and loose top. Walking over to the full body mirror, you admired the way the lace hugged your body, exposing just the right amount to skin to make Jin go crazy but still remain completely unsatisfied. When you were happy with the way you looked, you grabbed the $3000 hair kit you had bought especially for him from the ‘Style Drawer’ as you liked to call it and headed for the bathroom. You peeked in and rolled your eyes, mentally face palming as you saw Jin admiring himself in the mirror of course… you thought and cleared your throat causing him to jump, he spun round and stared at you confusingly.

“J-jagi, I didn’t hear you… why are you hiding?” You smirked and disappeared heading to the kitchen, a minute later you appeared walking in casually holding a stool. You went up to the sink and placed the stool in front of the mirror bending down to lower it to the perfect height all the while ignoring Jin’s jaw dropped figure. Jin cleared his throat “Jagi… what are you-”

“Sit down.” You said ignoring him again. Jin stood still, his eyes frozen on your figure, it took him a second to realise what you had said and sat down on the stool looking at you through the mirror. “Since you ruined your hair, I want you to stay still and let me fix it, no whining no protesting and no complaining on how much time it takes.” You gave him a devilish smile “and then you’ll be forgiven.” You replaced your evil grin with an ironically angelic smile and Jin’s entire body slumped down as he sighed.

“But…” he was about to protest.

“No buts.” You said firmly.

“Not even yours?” he smirked and smacked it playfully, this cocky little…

“Especially not mine.” You said sternly and began opening the bag, spreading out your tools. “Hm… I could just give you above the eyebrow bangs, they were a definite success during YNWA… or we could experiment with curly bangs…” You began thinking about what you could out loud and only looked at Jin through the mirror for a second catching him staring at your butt. You smiled to yourself and placed your elbows on the sink shelf sticking your butt just enough to hear Jin sigh pursing his lips together and looking the other way, this was killing him. You snapped your fingers and muttered a low ‘ah ha’ before opening the sink and grabbing a hair brush. You thoroughly wet your hands along with the brush and ran it through Jin’s hair, soaking it. After you were done untangling it and making sure it was smooth you grabbed a comb and combed it straight down, looking at Jin’s face you noticed how red his cheeks had gotten, his hands were clenched into tight firsts and he couldn’t keep his eyes off your very proximate cleavage. You smirked as an idea popped into your head, “Ah let me just get the back.” You muttered getting closer to Jin so his face was literally centimetres away from your chest, you reached your arms forward and combed through the back of Jin’s hair feeling his hot breath on your exposed chest.

“Ja-jagi…” Jin choked out, his self-control dropping quickly.

“Yes?” You replied backing up and grabbing the hair gel, coating your fingers with it lightly.

“Don’t you think you’re being too… cruel?” Jin was giving you his puppy dog eyes accompanied with an adorable pout and you almost felt yourself give in before shaking your head lightly and resuming your work.

“How am I being cruel?” You asked innocently, applying the hair gel into his damp hair and plugging in the blow dryer.

“Ya! I know I made your job harder but you’re… you’re making my life harder right now…” he said the last part quietly, almost a mumble as he averted his eyes and looked down at the very obvious bulge growing in his pants.

“Good.” You said indifferently and Jin looked back up at you almost offended “Now you’ll think twice before chopping your bangs off.” You gave him an almost evil grin and turned on the blow-dryer, combing his hair in your desired style as it dried and the gel made sure it would stay that way. You went for a Fire meets BS&T meets Danger kind of look so one edge of the side parting you gave him was brushed and stuck to his head while the other, longer side, was puffy and in the air, revealing his beautiful forehead that ARMY so often requested. You had pretty much forgotten about what you were wearing and what your original intention to wear it even was, you were way too focused on your work and Jin knew this. The man had seen it a million times before; you were passionate and dedicated to your work and once you got into it, nothing could distract you, not even Jin’s hands that had moved and placed themselves on your waist pulling you closer with every second. You were just finishing up with a little bit of natural hairspray when you felt something hard press against your stomach. You dropped the spray bottle when you realised Jin had closed the space between you two and pressed your body flush against his, his strong arms were wrapped around your waist and his face was semi buried in your chest as he looked up at you through dark hooded eyes.

“You’re done.” He stated as a matter of fact, his voice had changed from the early whiny and pouty attitude to a now more authoritative and assertive tone making a chill run down your spine.

“I’m not.” You retorted trying to take control back but knowing fully well it wasn’t going to happen.

“You’re talking to me which means you aren’t focused and you never lose focus unless you’re done.” He held you tighter “so now it’s my turn.” He smirked, oh boy. Jin moved his head away and peaked into the mirror raising his eyebrows, clearly impressed by what you had done “hey handsome.” He said winking to himself and you rolled your eyes “why don’t you show this pretty lady what she really should have asked for huh?” he was wiggling his eyebrows at himself and you cringed, why was he like this? Why did you actually love him for being like this? Some questions were better off without answers. Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt Jin’s hand move from your waist down to your thighs and grip at them tightly “What are you thinking about hm?” he muttered softly before lifting you and standing up at the same time. You yelped at the sudden action and quickly wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I’m just thinking about…” you searched your thoughts quickly for some sort of rebuttal but the grin that appeared on his face was a clear indicator that he knew. He chuckled deeply and gave you a sultry look before walking towards his bedroom.

“ahh jagi...” he sighed, “when will you learn?”

“What exactly are you trying to teach me?” You returned his look challengingly with a subtle lip bite, why am I trying to make this worse for myself?

He laughed, visibly amused and you felt him quite literally throw you backwards on to the bed. It was unexpected and resulted in a small scream but before you knew it, he was slowly crawling over your half naked figure. His hand slowly travelled up your inner thigh and you could feel the chills all over your body. “Jin-” but you were cut off by his lips finding their way to yours. You softly moaned into the kiss when you felt his hand travelling up and flicking at your nipple. He pulled away only to open his mouth which caused you to do the same. His tongue met yours as he began overlapping around it and softly pulling back, biting your lip softly in the process. All the while, his fingers had been gently playing with your now hardened nipples. “Ah~ Jin�� I want you.” You couldn’t help but moan out. He chuckled knowing your chest was your weak spot, but he wasn’t going to give it to you so easily; you had toyed with him and now it was his turn.

“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific baby.” His voice was laced with so much seduction, it was almost like a drug. You knew what he was doing and you knew what he wanted to hear. Moving your hands to his face, you forgot about your pride and looked at him desperately.

“Touch me... please~” You replied with the straightest face you could possibly muster up given the circumstances. Jin didn’t need telling twice, he reached behind you to undo the hook holding your entire lingerie piece together before moving his hand under the soft material. With each second, he got closer and closer to where you wanted him but stopped just before resulting in a frustrated whine from you.

“Touch you where princess?” he smirked, clearly enjoying himself. You placed a hand over his and dragged it until it was right over your pussy; his fingers got wet immediately.

“Here, touch me here.” you responded boldly.

PART TWOOOOOOOO iz hereeeeee. lmao again, sorry to all y'all horny folks out there for the cliffhanger. I’m actually debating writing a part three cuz it’ll literally just be smut lol so like, lemme know if y’all actually want a part three or if I should just leave it to y’alls nasty imagination -ASH

[vannahfanfics]

How about Nami/Chopper/Robin?

Here you go, Anon! This was fun to write; I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Pampered

Nami frowned deeply as she inspected her fingernails on both her hands. Just as she had feared, they had seen better days. Her arms extended to peruse the skin of her arms, finding them in a similar state of disrepair; all the salt and wind of being on the open sea had left them dry an unappealing. Surely her legs fared no better. Finally, she tugged at her twisting locks of tangerine hair. Split ends abounded, and the texture was more akin to rope than hair. Well, that was that.

Nami was in desperate need of a spa day.

She had been sitting on her bed the entire time, so she slung her legs off the side to hop up and stroll over to where Robin was sitting in her designated reading chair, poring over some history book or another. The dark-haired woman’s bright eyes flickered up to meet hers as she stopped in front of her, and she politely closed the book and set it on the small table next to her to properly address her.

“A spa day?” she inquired when Nami voiced her intentions.

“Mm-hmm! A girl requires a little pampering every now and then, you know. It would be no fun to do it all by myself, though,” she pouted slightly. The best part about spa days was having a girl friend to share it with, gossiping and trading personal care secrets. She clasped her hands together in a pleading gesture, brown eyes sparkling innocently. “Please, Robin? It’ll be so much fun! Once we’re all dolled up we can go upstairs and see who can make Sanji pass out from blood loss first!” she teased, appealing to the woman’s undeniable mischievous side. Robin smirked slightly and tapped at her chin with the pad of her index finger.

“I’m intrigued. Sure, let’s have a spa day together, Nami.”

“Oh, boy! Hold on, hold on, I gotta get prepared!” Nami squealed with delight and whirled in a quick pirouette of glee before zooming to the chest sitting at the end of her bed. She rattled off the various items required for a perfect spa day as she dragged them from the contents of the chest, occasionally jumping about to rifle through her nightstand or other various storage containers scattered about the room. As Nami was bursting through the door to their shared bedroom to carry her various articles to the bathroom down the hall, little Chopper came hopping down the steps leading to the upper deck.

“Hello, Nami, Robin!” he chirped happily. His little reindeer hooves clacked against the wooden floor as he approached them. “What is all that, Nami?” he asked curiously as he beheld the pile of stuff the navigator had crammed in her arms.

“We’re having a spa day,” Robin informed him matter-of-factly. He blinked up at them for a minute, and then his black eyes went wide and a big wondrous smile appeared on his furry face.

“A spa day? I’ve never had one of those… Can I have a spa day, too?” Nami and Robin looked at one another in surprise. Chopper hung around the boys a lot, so it was interesting that he desired to partake in something that was societally considered girlish. He was a boy, but Nami generally regarded him as more of a child than anything, and she had been naked in front of him before; he was a doctor, after all. Robin shrugged in indifference, leading Nami to look at Chopper with a nod.

“Of course, Chopper!” The little reindeer and exclaimed in glee, jumping up and down before hastily trotting after the two women as they headed to the bathroom. Nami dumped all of her necessary supplies on the tiled floor before she grabbed the large wooden tub that would hold their bathwater, dragging it over to the faucet and flipping the switch. Hot, steaming water burst from the metal apparatus, sending clouds of steam wisping before her face. Nami grabbed a bottle of her hand-crafted tangerine-scented shampoo and squeezed a little glob of it into the gushing stream; bubbles immediately began billowing up, coating the edge of the tub in the frothing white substance. Once the tub was filled high enough, she cut off the stream and lugged it over to where the two others were waiting. “Part one of Nami’s Spa Day Special- a bubble bath!” she squealed with delight and all but wrenched off her clothes.

She and Robin took seats on the small stools that were situated nearby and scoured themselves with soft, spongy loofas, while Chopper elected to climb into the little tub and sink down to his chin. It didn’t take long for him to start playing with the bubbles, and he had Robin and Nami in fits of laughter as he arranged different ridiculous hats and hairstyles on his head from the plentiful suds, and they joined in once Nami took out the shampoo and conditioner. Robin imitated Franky’s cockatiel-like hair, and it had them rolling around on the tiles giggling. Once he had frolicked to his heart’s content, the two of them scrubbed every square inch of his thick fur with shampoo and conditioner. He climbed out of the tub, standing awkwardly to the side a sopping mess, while Nami tipped the tub over to dump the leftover water out and allow it to drain. The air was filled with the fragrant aroma of citrus fruits, and it clung to their freshly-cleaned bodies. Nami quickly dabbed herself dry with the fluffy towel she had picked specifically for the occasion before gesturing Chopper over so she could dry his voluminous fur.

“Your shampoo and conditioner smells so good, Nami!” he chirped as Nami rubbed the strands of his fur between the cottony surface.

“Thank you, Chopper. Tangerine is a good scent on you!”

“You think so?” She confirmed it with a happy nod. Once Chopper’s hair was reduced to an acceptable level of damp, she set the towel aside and plugged up her hair dryer, sure to leave the cord far away from the puddles of water still glistening across the floor. She dried her hair first, spreading the dark orange waves apart as she ran the hair dryer up and down the strands, until they returned to their shiny, bright tangerine hue. Robin had already finished hers with a second hair dryer, and it shone like threads of obsidian over her slim shoulders. They set Chopper on a stool and each took a side to blow-dry his fur. He sat contented under the warm air and soft strokes of their brushes. “Ahh… This is so nice…”

“Isn’t it?” Nami mused. Between the two of them, the ladies were able to completely dry him from head to toe, and his reindeer fur took on a lovely sheen that it never had before. He kept running his hooves over the fur of his belly, appreciating the cozy softness.

“What are we gonna do now?” he asked Nami excitedly. She and Robin were currently rubbing some vanilla lotion into their skin (Nami thought that the scent would compliment the aroma of her tangerines, and she was right).

“Hold on just a second, Chopper! Once we finish this, we’re gonna do face masks next!”

“Oooh! Face masks!” he squealed elatedly. Once she was finished, Nami rubbed the excess lotion from her hands with her towel and then wrapped the fluffy textile around her body. The rest of her spa kit was piled on her bed back in their bedroom, and so they took the party there. They dressed themselves in a matching set of pajamas that Nami had gotten them one girl’s night out; they were a plaid set of short-shorts and a tank top, Nami’s a summer yellow and Robin’s a soothing lavender. So Chopper didn’t feel left out, she managed to find a graphic tee that would fit him with a bunch of purple and yellow flowers on it, so he matched them, too. The three of them then piled onto Nami’s bed to partake in the face masks.

“Now, Chopper, face masks are for skin, so these won’t really work for you,” Nami told him. Chopper’s little ears flattened to his head as he slumped miserably into the mattress. He instantly perked up when she continued, “But, while Robin and I have these, we’re gonna do something special for your hooves, okay?” She took a buffing pad and threw it to Robin, then procured herself one. “They’re gonna be so shiny and smooth! But you have to be still, okay?”

“Okay!” he beamed brightly. They put the facemasks on before they set to buffing Chopper’s hooves, busying themselves while the creamy concoctions hardened on the sensitive skin of their faces. Chopper obediently remained very still as the two of them smoothed out the chipped, scratched keratin of his dark brown hooves, but his little eyes kept flicking back and forth to watch them, obviously very excited. Nami had estimated the time perfectly; at the moment they finished polishing his hooves, the face masks had finished their work. It clung to Nami’s skin insistently as she peeled it off, and she made a point not to look at all the nastiness that had adhered to its sticky surface. She tossed it in the trash before looking down at Chopper.

“Would you like to paint your hooves?”

“Uh-huh! Can you paint them to match my PJ’s?”

“Of course!” Nami grinned and pulled out her box of nail polish. She had quite the collection; after all, she needed shades for all her outfits! She perused the numerous shades before she found a pair titled Daffodil Days and Lavender Sunrise. “We’ll all have matching nails, right, Robin?”

“Naturally,” she confirmed with a smile. Chopper bounced up and down on the mattress in excitement until Nami tutted at him to be still, lest she smear the paint. She applied the daffodil color as the base, and while it dried on the tips of Chopper’s hooves, she and Robin applied it to both their fingernails and toenails (after buffing their own nails, of course). Once they started waving their hands above to dry them faster, Chopper copied the motion, laughing with glee. Once they were sufficiently dry, Nami added a bit of floral flair by dabbing dots on each one to make something reminiscent of lavender blossoms. She added a touch of white on the ends to make them pop. Chopper’s eyes went big as he stared at his decorated hooves in wonder.

“Wow, Nami! You’re so talented!” he cooed. Nami chuckled, but not too much because she didn’t want to blur the paint she was dabbing onto Robin’s toenails.

“I’m not the best nail artist, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

The girls waited for their nails to dry before adding a coat of sealing polish for gloss, and then their spa routine was complete. “So, Chopper, what did you think of our spa day?”

“It was so much fun!” he squealed, painted hooves waving about in the air. She and Robin chuckled light-heartedly. “Can we do it again sometime?”

“Sure!”

“We’d love to, Chopper.” His smile practically radiated sunshine, and Nami was again struck by how absolutely adorable their little doctor was. It was almost like having a child to dote on. Based on the motherly smile Robin gave him as she patted the top of his head, Robin agreed. The smile then fell from his face, and his little shoulders slumped dejectedly. “What is it, Chopper?”

“I’m sad because it’s over now…”

“Don’t be sad!” Nami grinned, and he looked up at her with wide eyes. “Don’t you know what comes after spa days? Sleepovers!”

“Oh boy, oh boy!” he cried, instantly elated again. He jumped down from Nami’s bed to scurry over to the door and throw it open. “I’m gonna go get a pillow and blanket! And ask Sanji for popcorn! And show everyone my pretty hooves! Oh boy, oh boy, I can’t wait!” he howled as he ran down the hall. Nami giggled at his boundless energy and leaned back into her pillows, looking at her now neatly manicured and painted nails.

Reindeers need pampering every now and then too, I guess!

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to perusemy Tableof Contents!

Tag List: @searchfortheonepiece

[cannibalisticshadows]

Loving The Alien (Part 8)

“Blood and Bone”

(Ao3)

For electronicpencil, and the anons who want Megamind to be reptilian.

Megamind stayed for ten more minutes that night, after showing her his flaky neck. He says it only gets worse, since it just begun, and unless she wanted his flakes flying everywhere he should leave. So, despite his original resentment of her lips on any part of him, she gives him a peck on his nose and tells him to drive home safely.

She doesn’t hear from him for the next six days.

And it’s—concerning. She's so used to seeing his face now, in her own home, that when she returns to work after her short leave all she can think about is if he’s okay (honestly, she shouldn’t worry, he said molting was perfectly normal and it will continue to happen until he dies).

Still, though, she’s a little worried. She had no way of getting in contact with him.

“Hey, Roxa-roo,” her red-haired cameraman says, once her report from outside of the Metro Man museum is over (talking about Megamind’s absence—she knows the truth but this is basically a report on nothing). “I was thinkin’, since old Megs is like, probably dead, you wanna come over for some pizza to celebrate? My treat!”

Roxanne resists the strong urge to tell him off. Megamind’s death would in no way be a celebration. “No thanks, Hal, I’ve got dinner plans.”

“Oh,” he said, shoulders slumping. “Maybe next time?”

“Maybe.” For all that he was, Hal was a good cameraman, but his boyfriend material was far, far from what she found desirable.

“Okay. See you later, Roxie!”

She hated that name.

-------------------

She lied when she said she had dinner plans. If anything, she may eat a cup of noodles, but she ends up taking a walk in the park. It’s so late that everyone has gone home, leaving the trails void of any soul. The summer night felt lovely against her skin, prompting her to remove her jacket, leaving her in her ruffled blue dress. Eventually, she sits on a bench, enjoying the sound of the wind in the trees, and the absence of any person around.

Or so she thought.

“Nice night?”

She jolts and spins around in her seat, her blue eyes landing on the one sight she wanted most to see.

“Megamind!” She exclaims, her face lighting up in delight as he approached her.

He’s wearing jeans, of all things. Jeans and combat boots, with a dark blue top and a leather jacket with the collar turned up. His tail swishes around as she runs up to him, so overjoyed to see him she literally jumps him, sending them both to the ground.

He grips her lower back as they land in the grass, laughing as she squeals his name again. “You’re back!”

“I never left,” he chuckles, arching his neck as she places sloppy, desperate kisses along his jaw. “I was just being gross and taking a lot of showers.”

“You couldn’t be gross to me if you bathed in the garbage. Wait. Actually, I take that back. I do enjoy nice smells. I have standards.”

He laughs heartily at that, rolling her over until she’s pinned beneath him. She can see his tail behind him, raised up as his weight presses her into the ground. “Then tell me now, Miss Ritchi. Do I smell?”

She pressed her nose to his neck. He shivers at her touch. “You smell amazing.” And he did. Like something she’d find at a pricey perfume store for a million bucks, but it was so light she found herself chasing the scent because it filled her with such pleasure. There was also something she knew was just plain him, like autumn wind and dark chocolate and fresh leather. Overall he smelled really good, and not to mention his skin felt fucking greeeeeat. She hadn’t realized it until now that the days leading up to his “shedding”, his skin had felt dryer than usual.

“I missed you,” she found herself saying. He tilted his head, smiling softly. “Hey, Megamind?”

“Hmm?” He let out a little purr, moving off of her so they could both sit up.

“Are you… still a villain?”

He sat for a quiet minute, staring at the shaking leaves of the tree they found themselves under.

“I don’t really know anymore.”

“How come?”

“I… Roxanne, I’ve been bad my whole life,” he flopped down on his back, staring at the sky. “The only thing I’m good at is trying to beat Mr. Perfect Hair.”

“You and I both know that’s basically impossible, but that’s beside the point. Megamind, you’re brilliant. You have so much to offer the world besides trying to blow stuff up.”

“Or kidnap you?”

She rolled her eyes, but playfully. “Or kidnap me. Seriously, sweetheart, from the start I knew you weren’t all that bad.”

“Because I suck that much?”

“No,” she said sharply. “You never really tried to hurt me. In all these years it became obvious you were never evil.”

“Tell that to the rest of the world.”

“You’d be surprised.” Roxanne lays down beside him, placing a hand on his chest. “My parents live out in the boonies. Country land.”

“I know. They own a farm.”

Of course he’d know. “The point is, is that they were so proud of me when I went to college and started my path to being a news reporter. Not the place I imagined myself being as a kid, but I was happy and they were happy with my decision.” She put her head on his chest. To her mild surprise, his heart is much louder than a human’s, and at least twice as fast. “My mom barely passed high school. My dad dropped out before senior year. He inherited the farm from my granddad because his mom wanted nothing to do with it. They’re simple people. Quiet, even. And they were so overjoyed that I’d finished my education. But you wanna know something?”

She can see he doesn’t understand where she’s going with this, but he’s paying close attention.

“When you kidnapped me the first time both of them came up here in the old pick up truck and nearly demanded me to come back home. They did this for the first five times. After that, they started to realize something.”

“What?” He asks it like his life depends on it.

“Do you remember our fifth kidnapping?”

He purses his blue lips. “I remember each and everyone.”

“You could have let me fall off the cliff you had dangled me off of,” she said, leaning up again to meet his vibrant green eyes. “But you nearly risked your own life to save mine when the rope snapped unexpectedly.”

He doesn’t respond.

“They saw that. There are a lot of other people who saw that, too. You’ve done a lot of insane and illegal things, Megamind, but being evil isn’t one of them.”

He swallows.

“Now,” she leans in closer. “Are you going to lay here all night or kiss me, lover?”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

She’s suddenly on her back again, this time with her wrists pinned above her head as he assaults her mouth with the most intense kiss they’ve shared yet. He tried to mold his mouth onto hers, their noses bumping against each other. She moans and arches her back, feeling him wriggle against her until she parts her legs to allow him perches between her thighs.

With his heavier-than-expected weight, she can feel his slim figure move atop hers, grinding into her in the most pleasant way. She opens her mouth in another moan of encouragement, happy to feel his slick tongue touch her bottom lip.

“Megamind,” she exclaims, feeling him grind against her womanhood. He murmurs her name against her neck, making it sound like a plea to God Himself as he laved her skin, dragging his long tongue down to her collarbone.

For a brief moment, she feels—she feels something hard press against her through his jeans—

And then he’s gone—

Someone is shouting her name, and Megamind’s—

“Megamind!” She shouts, sitting up at the speed of light because he had been literally yanked off of her. He’s—dangling, in the air, by his tail.

Out of costume, Metro Man was just plain old Wayne Scott. Poster boy for perfection and all that was righteous. Right now, the buff man was in jeans as well but wore a plain white dress shirt and a gray jacket. His face, though, wore absolute fury.

“This is what you’ve been doing!?” He demands, voice booming. “Molesting Roxie!?”

“Put me down!” Megamind roars, flailing all his limbs, face turning a light shade of purple as seemingly all the blood in his body rushed to his head.

“Stop it!” She shouts, wanting to grab Wayne by the ears and tell him off because Megamind was doing nothing wrong what so ever. She can barely watch it because never has he tried to carry Megamind by the tail and never has she seen him strong enough to hold himself upside down by it. Carry things, sometimes, but he wasn’t a monkey.

“Jesus, and to think I was actually worried about you,” Wayne seethes, and actually—he yanks Megamind by swinging him—and—

Good God what the fuck is he doing to him—

She can’t hear herself shouting Megamind’s name, but she feels her voice rip through her throat because suddenly she’s throwing herself to the ground beside him as he falls to the floor in a loud thump, and something wet and warm splattering a part of her face.

Wayne lands beside them with all the grace in the world, dropping—dropping—it to the ground—

She has zero idea of what to do. This was never done before. Wayne always roughed his nemesis up a bit before bringing him to jail. Never—never really hurting him—

“Megamind,” she sobs, helping his shaking form to lean upon his hands and knees, clutching him to her chest. “Oh, Megamind—“

His beautiful, perfect tail is lying on the ground just a foot away, blood pooling at the base of it. Never before had she seen it so limp. Now—now it wasn’t even apart of—

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” She shouts at the superhero as loud as possible.

“Um—“ Now, Wayne looks confused. Megamind says nothing, but clutches onto her with his face in her chest, still quaking with tremors of clear agony. His feet kick at the ground.

“HE WAS DOING NOTHING WRONG!”

Now the hero goes pale, and his eyes dart from Megamind to her, to the tail, to—

“W-what?”

“You idiot!” She cries, holding onto Megamind tighter. In her horror and wrath, she has enough brain cells in her to tell her to put pressure on the wound. “He wasn’t molesting me! I wanted it!”

“You—what?!”

Megamind, still shaking, turns his head to face his life-long enemy. “Still can’t resist pulling it off, can you?”

Not really understanding what he meant by this, she just holds onto him and shouts, “Take us home, right now, or I will scream so loud even your ears will burst!”

Wayne, still confused and stuttering manages to pull himself together and pick both of them up. She grabs onto Megamind’s tail and holds it close, knowing it should be put into ice or something until they can reattach it. They can reattach it, right? It’s possible to do that will plenty of detached limbs—

They get to her apartment through the balcony, and she rushes inside and puts Megamind on the sofa. He’s—he’s unconscious, and his blood has seeped into her outfit and it’s on her hands and—

“What did you mean, you wanted it to happen?” Wayne’s asking her, standing in the middle of the room looking dumbfounded. “He was—asulting you!”  

“It’s called making out, you ass!” She shouts, grabbing the vase Megamind replaced the previous one with and throws it at him. He’s unaffected. “And he’s good! He’s fine! He’s not hurting anybody anymore!” She throws a book at his head. “You tore his fucking tail off what the fucking fuck is wrong with you!?”

“Roxanne—“ he pauses as she throws a chair at him. “Roxanne, he’s gonna be okay. This has happened before.”

“W—“ She lowers the dictionary in her hands. “What do you mean?”

“It grows back,” he said, looking mildly weirded out. “Like a lizard.”

I’m not a lizard, Megamind’s voice echoes in her head.

She throws the dictionary at him anyway.

“Get out of my apartment, Wayne.”

He leaves.

And now she’s alone with a tailless, unconscious Megamind, and she’s got no earthly idea what to do.

[demisexualemmaswan]

springtime serenade

A/N: This is my gift for the incomparable @flslp87 for the @csficformal event this month! I’m sorry I started lacking on the anons, but I hope our discussion of storms and CS fluff (and what you don’t like and what you do like) is a perfect gift for you this (admittedly very rainy) spring!

Suggested Listening

Read on Ao3 here! 

Sometimes it was easy to tell a storm was coming.

The temperature would drop.

The wind would shift.

The dark clouds would come rolling in before anyone could blink.

Other times, it wasn’t so easy. Storms were fickle and could burst in overhead at a moment’s notice. There were many mornings from his younger days where the sky would be clear at breakfast, and then filled with thick, dark gray clouds at lunch.

So if there was one thing Killian Jones knew from many years at sea, it was exactly when a storm was coming.

The morning was cloudy to be sure, but every so often the sun would break through, lighting up the backyard for a few moments before disappearing again. Still, there was a weight to the air and a smell to the garden that Killian Jones was all too familiar with.

So he did now, three hundred years old and married, what he would do as a young lieutenant: he alerted his captain.

“Miss me already? I’ve only been on patrol for a few hours,” she teased lovingly, and he smiled just at the sound of his wife’s voice. “It’s not like you to come check up on me so soon. And on your day off too, no less.” The teasing lilt in Emma’s voice warmed him and his smile grew a little bit more.

“I always miss you when you’re not here, my love,” he murmured softly. “But I thought you’d like to know that it’s going to rain soon, and that you might want to come home before you get caught out there.” He began to prepare for the storm, keeping an eye on the clouds to make sure he could give Emma ample time to prepare.

“Okay, Brick Tamland,” Emma replied, and he could picture his smile in her mind. As always, she was referencing something, and he had no idea what it was. He couldn’t help the affectionate scoff he let out at the phone, even though she was nowhere near him.

“So I trust you’ll be home soon?” Killian asked, starting to bring his gardening tools into the shed. He made sure to lock the windows so they wouldn’t blow open if the wind was too strong before he locked the gardening shed. “Have your father pick up the next patrol with his truck? The bug doesn’t have all-wheel drive…”

“I’ll be home in a little bit. I’m just responding to a call about some downed trees from the last wind storm,” Emma said, and he could hear her rustling around in the forest. “Also, who told you the Bug doesn’t have all-wheel drive?” She sounded impressed and a feeling of pride blossomed in his chest.

“Doesn’t matter how I know,” he teased her, and the smile disappeared from his face just a little bit. “It’s not safe for you out there when the roads get too wet. I heard the Storybrooke sign still is recovering from your first adventure in the rain here…”

“Don’t worry about me, babe,” Emma assured him. “I’m gonna be just fine, and unless this tree is gonna get me wasted on its whiskey or you’re planning on putting a wolf in the middle of the road, I’m gonna be just fine and so is the sign. And I know that won’t stop you from worrying, but I promise you I wouldn’t—” Her next words were drowned out by a clap of thunder, and the skies opened up over Storybrooke.

Killian rushed into the house as the rain began to hit him. He heard Emma cursing on the other side, and he tried to suppress the anxiety that flared up in his gut. “Emma, love?” he asked, hanging his coat up on the coat hanger. “You all right?”

“Yeah,” she grumbled. “Just soaked to the bone. A little more warning next time, sailor.”

“Shall I draw you a warm bath as recompense, my love?” Killian asked her, already heading up the stairs just do that. He chuckled when she let out a delighted sigh at the notion. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he teased her.

“Hey, you don’t get to talk. Your hair isn’t dripping onto the Bug’s leather seats,” Emma shot back, but there wasn’t any bite behind it. Another clap of thunder and another muffled curse from Emma preceded the hum of the Bug’s ignition. “Good thing I got the windshield wipers changed,” she huffed.

“Aye,” he agreed, as he got to work setting up a bath for Emma. He paused when he heard her shiver. “Love?”

“I’m okay,” Emma answered. “Just cold. Even my coat is wet and I’m just waiting for the heating to kick in while I’m driving. I hate this weather, one minute you need to blast the AC and then it starts to rain and you need the heat like it’s the middle of winter.”

Killian hummed sympathetically and resolved to make her a cup of hot cocoa with cinnamon to go with her bath before she got home. “Well you’ll be home in less than two shakes, and I promise you it’s plenty warm at home.”

“How’s that bath coming?” Emma asked hopefully, sniffling as her nose began to run.

“It will be here ready and waiting for you,” Killian promised. “All I want for you is your heart’s desire. You know that.”

“I know,” Emma murmured, and he could see the affection glimmering behind her eyes. It warmed him more than any bath ever could, but he knew his Swan loved her comforts. And he would never begrudge her that.

Especially since she herself had shown him the wonder of what two people could get up to in a bathtub.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of them, not wanting to hang up on the other, but not feeling like they needed to continue talking. It was something they had just gotten accustomed to after knowing each other for so long. He could hear the patter of rain on the bug’s windshield in the background while he began filling up the tub with water.

“Can you put some bubbles in?” Emma asked shyly after a few minutes. “Into the bath I mean…the ones from the purple bottle.”

“The one that smells like lavender?” Killian checked, already looking for it when Emma hummed her approval. “As you wish, my love.”

“Are you taking care of yourself too?” Emma pressed. “You’re dry and warm?”

“I will be shortly,” he promised her gently.

“Killian…” Emma warned.

“Please let me do this for you?” he offered. “And then I’ll look after myself.”

“You deserve to be taken care of too,” Emma said simply. He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek closer to the phone. “And if you’re not taking proper care of yourself, I’m gonna take care of you as soon as I get home.”

God this woman.

“You do drive a hard bargain, lass. Just one of the many reasons I love you,” he murmured softly.

“I love you too,” Emma replied. “Don’t try to deflect me with your sweet talk though, mister. I expect to see a warm and dry pirate when I get home, got that?”

He decided to change into dryer, more comfortable clothes before going downstairs to make them dinner once her bath and cocoa were ready. He left a towel hanging on the coatrack by the front door, and the laundry basket just outside their bathroom.

The front door open and clothed, and he heard Emma’s muttered protestations about the weather before the echoes of her footsteps sounded up the stairs. He didn’t feel the need to greet her just yet.

Emma would come to him in her own time, as she always did.

Besides, he’d been married to her long enough to know not to get between her and a hot bubble bath.

The rain provided a soothing accompaniment to the gentle bubbling of the sauce in the pot. He hummed an old sea shanty to himself as he errantly stirred the pasta beside him.

It was nice, Killian reflected. To be in his home, making food for him and the woman he loved more than anything. To be in a space that was so quintessentially theirs together and separately. And quite frankly, both he and Emma had been lacking in nice for a good portion of their lives. To have it now made him thank his stars and thank Emma Swan.

Sorry, Emma Jones.

He felt a swell of affection for her that wasn’t so out of place. If he really counted, he probably went through this feeling at least seven times a day since the Final Battle.

And that was…nice.

Made infinitely nicer by his wife wrapping his arms around his waist, resting her cheek in between his shoulders. He could feel the damp press of her hair, but it wasn’t uncomfortable like the rain. No, her hair was warm and smelled of lavender.

“Hi,” she whispered, letting her eyes flutter shut. “Thanks for the bath and cocoa. They really hit the spot.”

“Anything for you,” Killian responded tenderly, still stirring the sauce. “There’s some time before dinner’s ready. Are you hungry?” He felt the nod against his back. “Well, far be it from me to keep you away from a meal, love.” She squeezed him a little bit tighter and snuggled in closer.

They stood like this for a few minutes—Killian working on dinner and Emma holding him from behind—until he finally asked with some amusement, “Just what are you doing back there, hmm?”

“I’m taking care of you,” she mumbled against his shirt.

“Am I warm and dry to your liking?” he asked, recalling her promise from their earlier conversation. She shook her head and nestled closer as if to rectify it. He didn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up within him, especially when he felt her smile against his skin. “You’re impossible,” he teased.

“And you love me for it,” she retorted happily.

“Aye,” he whispered. He turned the stove burners off and turned around to pull her against his chest. “May I have this dance, my love?”

Emma snapped her fingers to turn the radio on. “And now we’d like to play you a recording of ‘Moonlight Serenade’ by Glenn Miller and his orchestra…” the announcer crooned at them. As the clarinet began to play, and then the trumpet, Killian wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist, while his hand came to hold hers.

Only the sounds of the rain and the orchestra seemed to matter as husband and wife stood in the middle of their kitchen, swaying with one another. Her head came to rest on his chest, just underneath his chin.   

“You okay, babe? You’re kind of quiet today,” Emma murmured, not looking up at him still. She didn’t need to for him to know that she was just taking care of him, just as she always did.

So he simply told her, “I’m perfect.”

[scared-aquarius]

me being (very) brutally honest with the signs

Aries- You’re such a goddamn hothead all the goddamn time. Not everyone likes to be constantly doing something every second of every day. You get angry with people for the smallest and most trivial reasons but god forbid someone take a dig at you. You’re such a hypocrite and it’s annoying as fuck. You act like an edgy teenager that’s constantly throwing a tantrum. You also boss people around and expect everyone to just follow your lead and if they don’t, you get pissed at them for having a mind of their own. You seriously need to take a look at your life and stop seeing everything as a fucking challenge that’s rigged against you. My god, I get tired just being in your presence. 

Taurus- You’re a lazy fuck and way too materialistic and possessive. You literally have no desire to do anything because you love to sit on your ass. You take “treat yourself” to a whole new level and not in a healthy way whatsoever. It seems like every chance you get you cause arguments and then you contradict whatever the other person is saying just because you can’t look at anything from a different point of view. Even if you get to the point where you realize you’re in the wrong and the other person is right, you’ll just continue to argue for the sake of arguing and god forbid your ego take even the slightest blow. It’s irritating as shit like you really think you know best when in reality you’re just a stubborn bitch. What a bore.

Gemini- Look, I know you guys get a lot of flak. But take this into consideration...... it’s because most if not all of it is FUCKING TRUE. You have so many different personalities I don’t know which one is even real. You gossip 24/7 and flip-flop between who you talk to and who you talk about. You’re completely unreliable and unpredictable and also clingy as fuck. Seriously, I feel like I can’t get away from you. I just want to go to the bathroom, I don’t need to hear the story right now about how Sarah said that Dylan said that Kimberly found a sock in the dryer that wasn’t hers. Literally no one cares. Another thing that you do is once you get tired of someone, you just throw them away like garbage. (Also Trump is a gemini, and I know you guys can’t control that but like come on. Of course he’s a gemini.)

Cancer- You really need to stop being so whiny or I’m actually going to lose it. Everyone has problems so stop acting like such a victim all the goddamn time. You’re so moody all the time and you act like a small child that needs to have their diaper changed. You also cling onto people as soon as you meet them and cry if someone doesn’t answer your text within 5 fucking minutes. Don’t you have your own life to live? Oh wait, I forgot you spend every second in a dark room and refuse to come outside unless it’s to answer the door because you ordered shitty takeout. You consider changing your clothes adventurous and honestly it’s so boring. Introverted doesn’t even describe you, you’re more like a complete hermit (CRAB. HA!)

Leo- Hey leo, wow, are you actually reading this? I’m kind of shocked because I never thought you’d ever stop looking at yourself in the mirror. Seriously, you’re probably the most vain sign out of all of us. So much so that if someone criticizes you in even the smallest way, you get so offended and act like you’ve been shot in the chest. You think so highly of yourself, and while it’s great to have confidence, you take it to the next level, which is extreme arrogance. You love to have the conversation focused around you. You’re the type of friend that if someone is telling you about their problem or just their day in general, you’ll interrupt them and start talking about yourself and it’s DAMN ANNOYING. How do you still have friends?

Virgo- I’m gonna tell you right now, you’re not as perfect as you think you are. You’re so quick to critique other people that you write them off as not good enough before even getting to know them. You’re the type of person that would tell their friend that they were breathing too loudly. For fucks sake, you’re such an over analyzing pedant it makes me want to slap you in the face with my fucking asymmetrical hand. Your pessimism is damn near blinding, I probably wouldn’t want to hang around you for more than 10 minutes or you’d make me feel self conscious about how I fucking walk or some shit. You can’t take or make a joke. You’re skeptical about everything and you’re completely inflexible. You like to think of yourself as an intellectual but really you’re stuck up, narrow minded and someone I constantly find myself rolling my eyes at.

Libra- You are manipulative as shit. You’ll tell someone they look good without even looking up from your phone. You lie all the time and don’t really give a fuck if you hurt other people’s feelings because you really only look out for yourself. You’re also a huge fucking coward. When your friends need you to have their back and actually be there for them, you run and hide and say, “Oh sorry I just didn’t want to get involved!��. What a lame fucking excuse for ditching your friend in their time of need. You’re also extremely indecisive to the point where it’ll take you 3 hours just to choose where you want to go eat. It’s tiring as fuck. Just MAKE A CHOICE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. Have your own fucking opinion. You’re like a goddamn sheep.

Scorpio- Why the FUCK are you so aggressive for no fucking reason? You manipulate people just for the fun of it. You get jealous so easily and usually you don’t even have a reason to be jealous. You just are. It’s pathetic. You like to think that you’re so cool and mysterious but in reality people just see you as a moody and brooding asshole that no one really wants to bother getting to know. I mean, why would they? What’s the point? Every time someone even tries to get close to you, you completely brush them off and act like you don’t care about them because keeping your “mystifying” aura is soo important to you. And if you do let someone in, you treat them like they’re your possession and it’s creepy as hell. You obsess over them and you want to control them. God forbid they hang out with someone that isn’t you and then you resent them for no goddamn reason other than having a life of their own. Do me a favor scorpio and don’t talk to me.

Sagittarius- Honestly if a sag is reading this, you’re just straight up getting a taste of your own medicine. You’re tactless as shit and it makes me not want to be around you, ever. You’re inconsiderate of others and impatient with everyone. If someone isn’t moving up to your standards you will become agitated and aggressive and then you take it out on the person. You constantly need to be doing something else because your attention span lasts about 2 fucking seconds. You act like an 8 year old. You’re also really superficial. You don’t bother getting to know the deeper layers of a person because, like I said, you’re impatient and also just plain lazy. You take people for granted and are careless when handling the feelings of people closest to you. You’re also a really self-obsessed know-it-all. Go climb a fucking tree, sag.

Capricorn- Four words. Lighten. The fuck. Up. You are by far the most power-hungry of all the signs. You take everything so completely seriously that I don’t even know if you understand what “fun” even is. You always have to have two feet on the ground at all times and you can never ever be spontaneous and it’s so fucking dull. You’re conservative and disdainful nature can be so overbearing at times that even your friends need to get away from you. That is, if you have friends. You’re a complete pessimist so who knows if anyone can actually tolerate that. You constantly have to be the most successful person in a room, and you make sure you reach this level of success through abusive and controlling behavior towards the people around you. Your selfishness grosses me out.

Aquarius- I asked you what time it was. I didn’t ask you if I was afraid of time passing or the fact that it’s a manmade construct. For fucks sake, just shut the fuck up about this deep shit for once. I don’t want to contemplate how large the universe really is at fuckin 8:30 am on a Monday. You’re rebellious even when it doesn’t matter and honestly all it does is piss people off. You’re constantly trying to deviate from the norm that you make the same fucking mistakes that other people already made, but you don’t fucking learn from other people’s mistakes because you always have to go your own way. Maybe listen to other people for once? You’re the most detached sign out of all of them and you hurt people by acting aloof all the fucking time but you don’t care because you chalk it up to “this is who I am!!! I need my freedom!!!!”. You need to actually think about how your actions affect people you care about because if you don’t, you’re REALLY gonna end up alone and you won’t be able to do a damn thing about it. 

Pisces- You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time and get it through your head that you’re not always the damn victim. You don’t take responsibility for your actions and you always find a way to blame it on someone else because you’re NEVER in the wrong, are you? Poor little pisces. You’re not as innocent as you want everyone to believe. You’re constantly daydreaming and it becomes really annoying when I’m trying to talk to you and you just completely zone out because you love living in your little imaginary world. You’re the WORST at solving your own problems and conflicts because instead of dealing with them you just avoid it all together and end up leaving the mess for someone else to clean up. You’re really nosy- you love to get in other people’s business. But you don’t go to the person directly, you have to be sneaky about it and gather rumors from other people. You’re also very over-sensitive. Out of all the signs, you’re by far the most likely to respond to this post saying how this isn’t true and that I’m just a “big fat meany!!!” and then add a bunch of angry/crying emojis.

(disclaimer: Don’t worry, I don’t really hate your sign (unless you’re a  * * * * * * ... lmao). This was just for fun and I know it’s harsh. Don’t take it too personally. You’re an individual and ultimately you determine who you really are. Except for you, * * * * * * . Fuck you.) 

[theonceoverthinker]

Nag: A Knight Rook Story (2/2)

Part 1

Summary: Rogers is known for being one hell of a nag. How do wild spirits like Tilly and later Alice feel when he’s suddenly a very present part of their lives?

Time for part 2! Before I start again, I want to thank @killianmesmalls for giving me this prompt! Confession time: She originally asked me to examine how Tilly would view Roger’s nagging after the curse broke, and that’s what the goal of this part is!

Let’s get a move on!

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Tilly doesn’t have a problem with Roger’s nagging until the curse breaks, and when it happens, suddenly Alice very much does.

Alice isn’t the child that she used to be. Before Gothel cursed her father’s heart and separated them, she was a teenager, and an isolated one at that. Her bits of nuttiness had been accepted. But it’s been over a decade since then. She’s been out in the world. She should be more...normal.

She now wonders if she’s good enough for him. The curse has curbed his taste, made him civil, or at least more so than he was before.

He’s changed too. As Rogers, he’s less accepting of her bouts of silliness past a certain point. As they got closer, he started to nag more. Eat this. Bundle up. Read some more books. Tilly, little by little, listened, because he was her truest friend in an otherwise cold and manipulative world.

But now, Rogers is her father, and Alice finds the person who she is to be a terrifying embarrassment when faced with the reality of who Killian has become. Not every part of her. She’s not ashamed of her girlfriend, who Rogers has welcome into the family with warm and open arms. Other parts of herself though, she’s more afraid to show. They’re things that Rogers always nagged about. When they eat, she doesn’t ask for orange marmalade sandwiches. She has turkey instead, and salads at dinner. She doesn’t make the same observations that she usually would. She keeps her spaces clean.

Killian doesn’t address any of it until one day where he hears Alice styling her hair from the bathroom with a blow dryer. He knocks on the door.

“Alice, love,” Killian asks hesitantly. “Can we talk when you’re dressed?”

“Of course, Papa.” Alice finds herself apprehensive. It’s not an emotion she’s foreign to, but she’s seldom been apprehensive towards either her papa or Rogers.

It’s only when she knows she’s disappointed him.

Alice slowly gets ready, her mind running with anything and everything that she might have done to cause this disappointment. She’s been careful, but perhaps what she’s messed up is hidden in plain sight. She looks around. Her room is spotless. Her clothes aren’t wrinkled. She had even blow dried her hair so that she could style it in a neat way that she thinks he’d like.

It doesn’t makes sense. Normally, those four words are a comfort, but for now, they cause panic.

When she finally emerges, sporting a v-neck, unripped jeans, and flats, Killian is waiting for her at the kitchen table. He looks nervous, as if he’s searching for the words to convey his displeasure. Alice silently gulps.

She sits down. Killian gives her a weak smile.

“Hello, Papa,” she greets. “What did you want to talk about?”

Killian’s smile fades away and he bites his lip. There’s a pause before he speaks.

“Is...Is everything alright, Alice?” He asks, concern clear. “With you, that is?”

Alice longs to tell him that it’s not, that her fear of letting her father down is eating at her like a dog at a slab of peanut butter.

“Everything’s fine,” she lies. “Why do you ask?”

“I just worry you’re not happy.”

Alice sighs. This part is easy to say. This part is the truth.

“Of course I’m happy, Papa. We’re together again.” Killian smiles again and she mirrors it back.

“I know, Alice,” he says, his expressions much more relaxed. “I think it’s being with you, getting used to you again that’s made me all confused. You’ve grown and changed so much,” Killian comments, placing a reassuring hand on hers. “I hardly recognize you sometimes.”

She gestures her hands towards herself. “I know, right?” Regardless of her words and a level of genuine happiness at being here, being with her father once more, she feels hollow. She knows why too. Pesky half truths. She’d have to squash the longing for her old life, for her own self until it goes away. It’ll be hard, but she’d figure it out.

Killian clicks his tongue. “It seems that time only moves forward, and we all must adapt. You��d figure being over two hundred years old, I’d know that better than anyone, right?” Alice nods. She’s missed this so much. It’s worth it to give up her true self to be with him. She hopes so at least. “Well, it’s nearing noon. Shall we eat?”

“Yes, Papa.” She feels her stomach beg for food. In all her worries, she’s famished herself.

“We can have anything you want, though I suppose, given your new habits, we’ll have no more lunches of orange marmalade,” he teases.

In that moment, Alice’s breathing goes heavy, and her smile crumbles beneath her. She can’t even fake a smile, let alone a chortle at his remark.

Despite all her efforts beforehand, that one sentence from her father, that one bit of seeming disregard for her favorite meal destroys her resolve.

Perhaps it’s because it’s one of their oldest traditions. Perhaps it’s because Killian knows that Tilly loves it and on the worst of days, it was the only thing that could make her childhood self smile. No matter the reason, the spark of realization for the true nature of her sacrifice chokes her like a chicken bone in her throat.

Suddenly, that self that she longed to abandon so much becomes that much harder to.

No, she can’t do it, and that crushes her.

“Papa,” she blubbers, tears growing in her eyes.

“A-Alice,” Killian speaks softly, his hand lightly squeezing hers. “What’s wrong?”

By this point, Alice’s blubbers have grown into full on sobs. Killian scoots his chair closer to her and wraps his arms around her.

“It’s okay, Alice,” he coos. “It’s okay.”

It’s not though. She’s failed to live up to her father’s hopes for her, and she has no idea what will happen next.

“No, it’s not!” Alice insists.

“Please Alice,” Killian begs. “Tell me what’s the matter.” She, against her wishes, pulls back from their hug and looks into her father’s eyes. They’re equal parts bright and calming. All they want, and  by extension, all he wants is to make things better, to make her better.

But she’s not better. All she is is Alice.

“Papa, I can’t keep lying. Not to you, and not to myself! This isn’t who I am! I hate turkey and salads and boring conversation about the weather and spending half an hour getting my hair ready! I make metaphors about ants and I brush my hair maybe twice a week, and God, all I want is an orange marmalade sandwich right now! But you always nagged at me about that stuff during the curse, and like you said, so much time has passed. I know you want someone more normal, but that’s not me, and it never will be me, and I’m sorry.” She cries throughout the whole speech, especially as she sees that her father’s face has yet to change or react to her words. Alice has never been so scared in her life. All she wants is to go lay down and cry until her eyes run dry.

She closes her eyes to let a few more tears emerge, and when she’s opened her eyes, finally, her father’s expression has changed.

Killian’s smiling. He’s smiling and a low chuckle is rising. He fans his hand through his hair.

Alice couldn’t be more confused if she tried. Before she can voice the million questions, Killian speaks.

“Oh, Thank God,” he sighs, still letting loose that low chuckle. Alice is still as confused as before, but this time, Killian is here to elaborate. He released a cough that brings his bout of blight to an end. “Alice, that’s why I wanted to talk to you. All of these changes, they just weren’t you, or at least who I thought you were. I was afraid you’d grown beyond the girl I knew you as.Time has passed, and nothing, not that witch’s curse nor the darkness’ hold could’ve hurt more than knowing that my sunny girl had lost all those quirks that make her who she is, and I’m glad they’re all still here within her.” Alice beams. Tears come forward and dampen her cheeks, but this time, they’re happy tears. “I don’t want a daughter who’s too preoccupied with normal to talk to me about everything wrong with bobbleheads.” Now Alice is the one chuckling. She’s relieved beyond words. She still has her hero. She still has her knight, and all he desires her to be is herself.

“So I don’t have to try to be a perfect daughter?”

Killian shakes his head. “You’re already my perfect daughter.” Suddenly, Alice stomach rumbles, and Killian’s chuckle returns. “Well, with one flaw, and one easily rectified: You’re missing a marmalade sandwich in your hands.”

Alice smirks. “And would my Papa be willing to make me one?” Her tone is wild. He grins as she asks her question.

“As luck would have it, I have an unopened jar in our pantry. How about we stay in today, get in our PJ’s, and just relax? Sandwiches and chess sound nice?” Alice doesn’t answer. She instead releases a shriek of relief, a very Alice shriek, and embraces her father. They hug each other tightly, and Alice promises herself that they’ll never let themselves be separated again, not physically nor emotionally. “I love you, Alice,” Killian whispers. “Every single part of you.”

“I love you too, Papa.”

Finally, they were truly and completely together.

[gothify1]

Unlike Sephora's vast collection of best-selling makeup and skincare products , hair products are a little bit trickier to shop for. We can't simply turn our forearm into a palette of swatched shampoos or rub 50 different hair oils over every square inch of our hands like we can lipsticks or face creams . So every time we decide to bite the bullet and turn over our hard-earned cash in exchange for a boatload of new hair formulas, it's always a bit of a toss-up whether or not we'll actually love what we ultimately cherry-picked from the retailer's stock-stuffed shelves. That said, there is a strategic way to cheat the system, or at the very least, improve our odds of loving (not simply putting up with) a selection of new hair picks—perusing the best-sellers list. Sephora shoppers are a passionate crowd, so whenever we see that a product with thousands of loves, ratings, and filled-out stars has ranked top tier for number of items sold, we're basically sold right off the bat. So you don't even have to bother to do the research and work yourself, we went ahead and found the two best-selling hair products from every single category your strands and styling MO desire. Keep scrolling for our holy-grail list of the 22 best-selling hair products Sephora customers are obsessed with spending their money on. Olaplex's Hair Perfector No. 3 ($28) is a cult-loved must-have for anyone who routinely color-treats their hair. When the brand debuted a complimentary shampoo and conditioner last year, pandemonium (and healthier hair everywhere) basically ensued. It's formulated without the icky things like sulfates and parabens and boasts a concentrated treatment profile that helps reduce and prevent breakage. A best-selling cleansing option for every single hair type, Sephora shoppers go agog for this unique detoxifying blend of charcoal and coconut oil which helps exfoliate, soothe, and re-balance an irritated or flake-prone scalp. (This is an especially great pick to nab in preparation for a sweaty, sun-soaked summer!) Not surprisingly, this conditioning partner in crime to the brand's beloved shampoo wins the Sephora spender's gold medal for all-time best conditioner.  The main reason we love and use conditioner is to ensure our strands stay ultra-shiny and dehydrated post-shampooing. And according to Sephora sales, this moisturizing hair conditioner from Alterna is the very best at making all hair types look revitalized after a wash. It's infused with luxe caviar in addition to other hair-healthy nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, proteins, and minerals A, C, and D.  Yep, Sephora shoppers have good taste because this hair-perfecting dry shampoo is a holy-grail formula in the eyes of beauty editors too. Regardless of whether you have thick, medium, or fine texture, it effortlessly sops up excess oil and leaves hair clean, bouncy, and refreshed.  We love this dry shampoo for its signature Drybar scent (think notes of jasmine, Madagascar vanilla, and sandalwood), but it's also one of the best for making our hair look like it's on day two or three, not four or five.  If you have curly hair and are looking for a top-notch zero-lather co-wash, you've officially met your new great-hair-day BFF. This original formula from DevaCurl blesses parched strands with a needed surge of moisture without weighing down curls or natural volume. Plus, it yields an insane amount of shine.  The superfood roster of ingredients in this co-wash instantly helps detangle hair curly, natural hair while also imparting shine and moisture. Oh, and if you happen to color your hair, it will help extend your time in between appointments as it will never strip away your color.  This holy-grail leave-in conditioner from Ouai is the ultimate multitasking answer to pretty much every kind of hair woe. From thermal protection to frizz control to shine and conditioning, just a few spritzes of this formula on damp hair works wonders.  It's safe to say Sephora customers go wild for Briogeo, and since the brand is also a personal favorite of ours, we definitely don't blame them. This milk-infused concoction saves starved strands before you air or blow dry and ensures hair is left soft, shiny, smooth, and protected from potential environmental threats like pollution or sun exposure.  So here's a fun fact, the top three best-selling hairsprays at Sephora are all from Living Proof. (This one is closely followed by the brand's Control Hairspray $26 and then the Perfect Hair Day Body Builder $29—my personal favorite.) In second (non–Living Proof) place? This deliciously scented best seller from Moroccanoil. It's strategically infused with the brand's signature hero ingredient, argan oil, so hair not only stays in place but is also gifted with a veil of stunning shine.  This is probably the most iconic hair oil on the market, and we doubt any hair serum or oil will ever dethrone it. It's great for all hair types, can be used on dry or damp hair alike, and even helps decrease blow-dry time. And, obviously, it makes your hair shine like a beacon.   This multi-tasking organic argan oil from Josie Maran is the ultimate antidote for thirsty, split strands. That said, you can also use it on your face, cuticles, elbows, or really anywhere that needs a little TLC.  Featuring Living Proof's signature healthy hair molecule (aka OFPMA, which increases the spreadability on the hair), this easy-to-use styler primes either dry or damp hair for styling, hold, and superior manageability. We especially love to work it through our damp strands before a blowout.  I can say from personal experience that this brand new shimmering mist from Briogeo is well-worth the hype. I used it during Coachella and it not only kept my strands hydrated, soft, and bouncy but also dusted with a hint of shimmer and sheen that was super photogenic and flattering. (I sprayed myself with the stuff from head to toe!)  Designed to be used roughly once per week (give or take how often you wash your hair), this intense treatment rejuvenates hair with needed moisture while also arming weak and brittle strands with an extra dose of fortification and strength. Hair will look hydrated, color will be vibrant, and the potential for future damage will be decreased. Calling all blondes, this best-selling hair mask is for you! We don't see purple formulas make the best-seller lists often just because they're often drying and all-around not great, but this new debut from Kérastase has us eating our words. This mask is an investment at $59, but the expert blend of color-correcting ultra-violet neutralizers, hyaluronic acid, and antioxidant-rich edelweiss flower is well worth your money.  Brand new from The Ordinary, this scalp-reviving treatment is a savvy solution for anyone with dryness, flakes, or irritation at the scalp. The concentrated formulation works well for all skin types and has a unique blend of ingredients to target stem cells (for increased hair density) while also improving blood flow and circulation for overall healthier hair.  This salt scrub from Christophe Robin has had a cult following for years, and it's still a best-selling favorite among Sephora shoppers. In addition to its soothing properties (it basically feels like a tall drink of water for your head), it also helps detoxify and purify the hair follicles so hair can grow in fast, strong, and ultra-healthy. If you could ensure your strands a perfect hair day for the rest of eternity would you spend upward of $500? Apparently, a number of Sephora shoppers would. In fact, this epic styling bundle from Dyson is so popular, it's almost always out of stock. Highlights include no extreme heat damage, inclusivity for all hair types and textures, and endless options for styling and finish including curls, waves, or impeccably smooth volume.  GHD is known within the industry as one of the very best brands where styling tools are concerned and this flat iron is a favorite among Sephora customers and celebrity stylists alike. It features a ground-breaking technology that actually predicts your hair's needs to help your flat iron adapt its temperature for all of your strands' styling needs. You'll end up with less breakage but more shine and color protection.  Once again, Sephora shoppers prove they value quality, even if it costs them a pretty penny. This hair dryer is the best of the best, and in addition to being lightweight, it also features a high-speed digital motor for significantly faster dry time and smart heat control to aid both shine and styling protection.  Next up, the 22 best-selling makeup products at Sephora right now.

[erraticfairy]

People with Bipolar Disorder Share How They Started Treatment—and Why They Stick with It

Bipolar disorder is highly treatable, and yet so many people don’t seek treatment. Or if they do seek help, they later stop taking their meds or stop attending their therapy sessions. Or both. And then their bipolar blows up. Their mania spikes. Their depression sinks even deeper.

Sticking to treatment is not easy. Medication has side effects. Therapy takes work. The illness itself can be stubborn, exhausting, confusing.

It can all feel so frustrating.

We wanted to know what led some individuals to stick to their initial treatment — and why they’ve stayed dedicated ever since. Of course, life is not linear, and the people we interviewed haven’t had linear journeys either. Because bipolar disorder is complex. Their stories will no doubt inspire you, and remind you that you are not alone, and you can get better — even if your journey’s been jagged, too, even if it doesn’t feel like that right now.

How I Started Treatment

Therese Borchard, a writer and senior editor at HealthCentral.com, initially sought treatment for what she thought was depression, because she wanted to be emotionally available to her son. Her first few doctors treated her for depression, which only exacerbated her bipolar symptoms. She was finally correctly diagnosed at Johns Hopkins after her husband insisted she try a teaching hospital.

Borchard continued with her treatment because she was “completely desperate and in so much pain. I never ever wanted to return to that place again so I followed doctor’s orders even when I didn’t want to.” For instance, she wasn’t happy about taking lithium and having regular blood tests. Her husband also was a huge support, and reminded her “what the consequences of stopping could be.”

Elaina J. Martin, author of There Comes a Light: A Memoir of Mental Illness, was diagnosed with bipolar I after a suicide attempt. She moved from California to Oklahoma City to live with her parents so she could focus on her treatment. Which she kept up with because she wanted “to get off that rollercoaster.”

When Tosha Maaks’s husband mentioned that sometimes it feels like she’s two different people when she’s happy, and when she’s “in a mood,” she realized she needed help. “When I was ‘in a mood,’ I could slam doors off hinges or break plates against the wall just to hear them break.”

Maaks, a mom of four teenage boys, and frequent contributor to Psych Central, never liked the person she was when she wasn’t well. “The depression and mania never felt good for me, and knowing that I could somehow live a better life in treatment was enough for me to want to have a better life.”

She also initially stuck with treatment because she didn’t want to lose her family. However, it was tough for her to remember to take her medication daily (she also has ADHD), which meant she often skipped it. “Many times, I would claim they were not effective, and it wasn’t that the meds were not effective as my compliance with the meds was not effective.”

Then Maaks started working with a new doctor, and her husband became her reminder system. “He can ask me, ‘Have you taken your meds today?’ and I can’t get mad because he has earned that right as my support system.”

Karla Dougherty, author of Less Than Crazy: Living Fully With Bipolar II, went to therapy at first for her depression and anxiety. It took 40 years for her to get the right diagnosis. When she finally got it, she was relieved to have a name for her illness. “… I could get help, and peace.”

Writer and speaker Gabe Howard had no clue he was sick. A woman he was casually dating took him to the ER because she sensed something was wrong, and when she asked him if he’d been having suicidal thoughts, he said yes. Howard was positive the doctor “would laugh us out of the building,” because he clearly wasn’t ill. After he was moved to the psych ward, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Howard kept up with treatment because he believed his diagnosis. When he started researching and reading stories written by people with bipolar disorder, he saw himself in many of them.

He also read about and saw what happened to people who’d quit their treatment — everything from foolish behavior (“They felt like they were amazing, but they were just saying nonsense confidently. It was bizarre and sad”) to divorce (“The marriages with children where the hardest”) to death. “The worst thing I ever saw was the suicide of someone who was in a group I moderated. I went to the funeral and it was just so sad. They had been refusing meds for months.”

“Even when I didn’t like the treatment, moving forward was still better than what I heard happened to people who decided to play doctor,” Howard said.

Why I Stay Dedicated Today

Borchard, author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes, remains dedicated to her treatment because it’s a life-saver. Three years ago, she tried to go off her medication. “[I]t was a disaster. I was almost hospitalized again. I was suicidal for several months and the pain was so acute…. Even when I don’t think the medications are all that effective, I remind myself that they are certainly doing something because without them I had trouble functioning.”

Martin, who pens Being Beautifully Bipolar, remains dedicated because she believes in what bipolar disorder is: a chronic illness. Dougherty does, too: “I don’t think about it. I just take my medication and treat it as any other chronic condition.”

Another thing that keeps Martin dedicated is the cemetery. “When I see [cemeteries], I realize how close I was to being in a hole somewhere, which leads me to remember how much it would hurt people that I love.”

It took Maaks over a decade “to stick to treatment in the correct way and fully the way I should have, even though I tried to claim I was doing all I could.” She didn’t start learning about bipolar disorder until four years ago. “When I really started to figure out what was going on with me, then I started to really have better success with my recovery.”

The number one thing that keeps Maaks so diligent about her treatment today is her loved ones: “I know that I have to take care of myself because the people in my life — my husband, my kids, my in-laws, and my friends—are in my life because they get to choose to be in my life.” She doesn’t want to wake up one day and her loved ones have made a different choice.

“It’s much easier to be motivated today because my life is so incredible,” said Howard, who co-hosts The Psych Central Show podcast and A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, and A Podcast. “I have a wife, house, dog, friends, and a giant TV. I have a career I love. I don’t want to lose all of that. I saw what my life was like before treatment and I see what it is now. It would be crazy to stop my medication and risk going backward.”  

What About Challenges?

One of the biggest challenges for Borchard in maintaining her treatment is her desire to be normal. “I want to ‘be like everyone else.’” “But when you think about it, there really is no normal. It’s a setting on the dryer. I don’t like having to check in with my doctor so regularly, but she has saved my life and keeps me on the right track. When I stopped seeing her, and thought I knew the answers, I landed in chaos.”

Borchard navigates the challenges one step at a time. On the really hard days, she takes it 15 minutes at a time. “Breaking down everything—whether it be work, or a bad day with depression—makes it manageable.”

For Dougherty sometimes it feels like her medication subdues her creativity, and sometimes she misses her hypomania. This is when she talks to her husband, friends and psychiatrist, who help her stay the course. She also reminds herself that in reality she’s accomplished more on her medications than without them.

At first, Howard missed the mania, too. “[B]ut then I realized being happy daily beat alternating between depressed, moderate, and excitable.”

He’s also wanted to quit his meds before because of side effects, such as sexual side effects, feeling flat, blurred vision, dizziness and chronic fatigue. “Thankfully, I was able to work all of these out and have as few symptoms as possible.”

Howard encouraged readers to “Keep moving forward, keep working with your doctors, and continue to have hope.”

Hope really is vital. “[T]he most important thing to getting better is to have hope,” Borchard said. “Never ever lose hope. As long as you have hope, your life will get better.”

Bipolar disorder is a big illness that takes time to resolve, Howard said. “So don’t beat yourself up if you are still fighting. Please don’t give up. It’s OK to lose a battle; please don’t lose the war.”

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2MocXUB via theshiningmind.com

[psychotherapyconsultants]

People with Bipolar Disorder Share How They Started Treatment—and Why They Stick with It

Bipolar disorder is highly treatable, and yet so many people don’t seek treatment. Or if they do seek help, they later stop taking their meds or stop attending their therapy sessions. Or both. And then their bipolar blows up. Their mania spikes. Their depression sinks even deeper.

Sticking to treatment is not easy. Medication has side effects. Therapy takes work. The illness itself can be stubborn, exhausting, confusing.

It can all feel so frustrating.

We wanted to know what led some individuals to stick to their initial treatment — and why they’ve stayed dedicated ever since. Of course, life is not linear, and the people we interviewed haven’t had linear journeys either. Because bipolar disorder is complex. Their stories will no doubt inspire you, and remind you that you are not alone, and you can get better — even if your journey’s been jagged, too, even if it doesn’t feel like that right now.

How I Started Treatment

Therese Borchard, a writer and senior editor at HealthCentral.com, initially sought treatment for what she thought was depression, because she wanted to be emotionally available to her son. Her first few doctors treated her for depression, which only exacerbated her bipolar symptoms. She was finally correctly diagnosed at Johns Hopkins after her husband insisted she try a teaching hospital.

Borchard continued with her treatment because she was “completely desperate and in so much pain. I never ever wanted to return to that place again so I followed doctor’s orders even when I didn’t want to.” For instance, she wasn’t happy about taking lithium and having regular blood tests. Her husband also was a huge support, and reminded her “what the consequences of stopping could be.”

Elaina J. Martin, author of There Comes a Light: A Memoir of Mental Illness, was diagnosed with bipolar I after a suicide attempt. She moved from California to Oklahoma City to live with her parents so she could focus on her treatment. Which she kept up with because she wanted “to get off that rollercoaster.”

When Tosha Maaks’s husband mentioned that sometimes it feels like she’s two different people when she’s happy, and when she’s “in a mood,” she realized she needed help. “When I was ‘in a mood,’ I could slam doors off hinges or break plates against the wall just to hear them break.”

Maaks, a mom of four teenage boys, and frequent contributor to Psych Central, never liked the person she was when she wasn’t well. “The depression and mania never felt good for me, and knowing that I could somehow live a better life in treatment was enough for me to want to have a better life.”

She also initially stuck with treatment because she didn’t want to lose her family. However, it was tough for her to remember to take her medication daily (she also has ADHD), which meant she often skipped it. “Many times, I would claim they were not effective, and it wasn’t that the meds were not effective as my compliance with the meds was not effective.”

Then Maaks started working with a new doctor, and her husband became her reminder system. “He can ask me, ‘Have you taken your meds today?’ and I can’t get mad because he has earned that right as my support system.”

Karla Dougherty, author of Less Than Crazy: Living Fully With Bipolar II, went to therapy at first for her depression and anxiety. It took 40 years for her to get the right diagnosis. When she finally got it, she was relieved to have a name for her illness. “… I could get help, and peace.”

Writer and speaker Gabe Howard had no clue he was sick. A woman he was casually dating took him to the ER because she sensed something was wrong, and when she asked him if he’d been having suicidal thoughts, he said yes. Howard was positive the doctor “would laugh us out of the building,” because he clearly wasn’t ill. After he was moved to the psych ward, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Howard kept up with treatment because he believed his diagnosis. When he started researching and reading stories written by people with bipolar disorder, he saw himself in many of them.

He also read about and saw what happened to people who’d quit their treatment — everything from foolish behavior (“They felt like they were amazing, but they were just saying nonsense confidently. It was bizarre and sad”) to divorce (“The marriages with children where the hardest”) to death. “The worst thing I ever saw was the suicide of someone who was in a group I moderated. I went to the funeral and it was just so sad. They had been refusing meds for months.”

“Even when I didn’t like the treatment, moving forward was still better than what I heard happened to people who decided to play doctor,” Howard said.

Why I Stay Dedicated Today

Borchard, author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes, remains dedicated to her treatment because it’s a life-saver. Three years ago, she tried to go off her medication. “[I]t was a disaster. I was almost hospitalized again. I was suicidal for several months and the pain was so acute…. Even when I don’t think the medications are all that effective, I remind myself that they are certainly doing something because without them I had trouble functioning.”

Martin, who pens Being Beautifully Bipolar, remains dedicated because she believes in what bipolar disorder is: a chronic illness. Dougherty does, too: “I don’t think about it. I just take my medication and treat it as any other chronic condition.”

Another thing that keeps Martin dedicated is the cemetery. “When I see [cemeteries], I realize how close I was to being in a hole somewhere, which leads me to remember how much it would hurt people that I love.”

It took Maaks over a decade “to stick to treatment in the correct way and fully the way I should have, even though I tried to claim I was doing all I could.” She didn’t start learning about bipolar disorder until four years ago. “When I really started to figure out what was going on with me, then I started to really have better success with my recovery.”

The number one thing that keeps Maaks so diligent about her treatment today is her loved ones: “I know that I have to take care of myself because the people in my life — my husband, my kids, my in-laws, and my friends—are in my life because they get to choose to be in my life.” She doesn’t want to wake up one day and her loved ones have made a different choice.

“It’s much easier to be motivated today because my life is so incredible,” said Howard, who co-hosts The Psych Central Show podcast and A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, and A Podcast. “I have a wife, house, dog, friends, and a giant TV. I have a career I love. I don’t want to lose all of that. I saw what my life was like before treatment and I see what it is now. It would be crazy to stop my medication and risk going backward.”  

What About Challenges?

One of the biggest challenges for Borchard in maintaining her treatment is her desire to be normal. “I want to ‘be like everyone else.’” “But when you think about it, there really is no normal. It’s a setting on the dryer. I don’t like having to check in with my doctor so regularly, but she has saved my life and keeps me on the right track. When I stopped seeing her, and thought I knew the answers, I landed in chaos.”

Borchard navigates the challenges one step at a time. On the really hard days, she takes it 15 minutes at a time. “Breaking down everything—whether it be work, or a bad day with depression—makes it manageable.”

For Dougherty sometimes it feels like her medication subdues her creativity, and sometimes she misses her hypomania. This is when she talks to her husband, friends and psychiatrist, who help her stay the course. She also reminds herself that in reality she’s accomplished more on her medications than without them.

At first, Howard missed the mania, too. “[B]ut then I realized being happy daily beat alternating between depressed, moderate, and excitable.”

He’s also wanted to quit his meds before because of side effects, such as sexual side effects, feeling flat, blurred vision, dizziness and chronic fatigue. “Thankfully, I was able to work all of these out and have as few symptoms as possible.”

Howard encouraged readers to “Keep moving forward, keep working with your doctors, and continue to have hope.”

Hope really is vital. “[T]he most important thing to getting better is to have hope,” Borchard said. “Never ever lose hope. As long as you have hope, your life will get better.”

Bipolar disorder is a big illness that takes time to resolve, Howard said. “So don’t beat yourself up if you are still fighting. Please don’t give up. It’s OK to lose a battle; please don’t lose the war.”

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/people-with-bipolar-disorder-share-how-they-started-treatment-and-why-they-stick-with-it/

[shewantstobebeautiful]

What’s even wrong

At first, I thought the emotional problems were PMS. I was really snappy at people and moody and everything was bothering me. It was a little less than a month ago, about a week before my period was scheduled to start when it all kicked up. Then my period was late.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get my hopes up for pregnancy. Not that Patrick (boyfriend/future husband/love of my life) and I are trying for a kid, we aren’t not trying. Meaning, any form of birth control is out the window and we’re letting nature take its course. Anyway, I got a little excited. I’m late. I’m moody. I’m having some signs that tend to lead more towards early pregnancy instead of PMS. Then my period happened. Disappointment. Mix that with the emotional instability and I could write off what was going on up to that.

Except the feelings of painfully emotional hockey weren’t letting up. I would get hit by one emotion and end up flying with it until another hit of emotion smacked my in another direction with no rhyme or reason behind it. It became a big notice when I got into a yelling match with Patrick’s twin brother Nick not too long after my period ended. He lives up the road and uses our washer and dryer. Meaning he would drop his clothes off with the intent of doing them and then we would end up doing them.

Well, my roommate, Curtis, rearranged the basement, which housed the laundry machines, to make room for the pool table and some of Nick and his lady friend’s clothes got mixed into mine and Patrick’s. I dug through it all and thought I got it all fixed. Except Nick’s lady friend was missing a thing or two. And when I went down to the basement to talk to them, I saw Nick bent over my clothes, looking like he was sitting through it. I yelled at him. A lot. More than I should have. Needless to say, both him and I got triggered by each other. He left and texted Patrick, and I was reading the messages over his shoulder until I got hella triggered and stormed out. Slammed the front door in Patrick’s face and called my best friend crying. She calmed me down, things got sorted out with Nick, and life goes back to normal.

Except, it didn’t. My emotions are still right below the surface, waiting for a small gust of wind to blow the dirt away so I can get attacked by whatever desides to show up.

This is where both Patrick and I start to get scared. The day before yesterday Nick came over and dumped a load in, over filled the washer so it didn’t work properly. Patrick got annoyed with it and said he would do it. I yelled at him, more than I should have, about not doing Nick’s laundry anymore. I ended up cutting myself that night. I had already had a shitty day at work, bosses were up everyone’s ass, it was loud in my head, and I was drinking when I got home in hopes to calm down enough to not do something I would regret. AKA, cutting. My plan didn’t work out too well.

Yesterday was my day off. I was gonna hide in bed most of the day. That didn’t work. The immense feeling of guilt swallowed me up and I ended up making dinner, dessert, breakfast for today, cleaning the entire kitchen, our bedroom, vacuuming, and starting our laundry. I picked up Patrick, something I really didn’t wanna do. It was a bad day and I didn’t wanna leave the house, but he carpooled to work with Nick and didn’t wanna grocery shop with him after, so I picked him up.

We watched half a movie while we ate dinner, I started feeling....off. So in hopes to feel better, I took a looooong shower. I washed my hair, deep conditioned, worked out all the tangled, shaved off all my Chewbacca hair, exfoliated, the full nine yards and an extra just to be safe. When I got out, I still didn’t feel okay. I kept trying to get out of my head, but I cut. A lot. And deeper than I had been. Patrick ended up coming into the bathroom and even he admitted that he was worried.

Now, I’m to today. We got home from work, ate a little dinner, and I really haven’t left my bed because I’m overwhelmed with the desire to cut myself. I have been for a while. The stupid argument the day before yesterday was just an excuse to actually pick up the blade and do it. It’s been bad for a few months, my mom even commented sometime last month when I saw her, when I had some cuts on my arms about my mental health and she never does unless I bring it up first.

The thought crossed my mind last night, as I stared at myself in the mirror, a little disconnected from the world, how do I know when the spiral gets too much. How do I know when to scream for help because I’m falling too fast. How do I know if I need to go back to the hospital for help.

I don’t think I’m there yet, but I am scared that I’m on a spiral to that point. Especially looking at the mess of my arms. I’m just trying to make it through the next week or so when I finally am scheduled to see my therapist again.

[lotsofdogs]

Things I’m Loving Friday #237

Friday is here and I’m tempted to dub today Furniture Assembly Friday because that’s the main thing I hope to accomplish later this evening. A bunch of our nursery purchases arrived on our doorstep yesterday so we’ve got some work cut out for us this weekend! I hope that by Sunday evening, our new baby’s room looks a little more like a nursery versus the storage area it currently resembles. I’m oddly excited about putting everything together and hope the feeling lasts and isn’t trumped by the frustration that often follows putting together drawer after drawer of a dresser. I’ll be sure to share pics of everything soon!

Now let’s get crackin’ on the usual Things I’m Loving Friday fun around here. Below you will find a list of things that are making me smile this week and, as always, I’d love to hear a little bit about what all of you are loving right now. I hope you are able to spend the extra long Memorial Day Weekend with family and friends and take time to honor and remember the incredibly brave men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country.

Things I’m Loving Friday

Chase’s Last Day of Preschool

Flashback pic to Chase’s first day of school… Cue all the tears over here!!

Chase’s last day of preschool was Wednesday this week. He had a half-day and then the parents joined the kids at one of his classmates’ houses for a pool party and lots of playtime. We ended up staying out for the better part of the afternoon and Chase had an absolute BLAST. (He had his first experience in a puddle jumper in the pool and I immediately Amazon Primed one the minute we got home.) His two preschool teachers attended the party and I looooved chatting with them and the other parents while our children had the best time together. It was so fun to see Chase interact with the kids I hear so much about day in and day out and I’m so happy that the majority of Chase’s classmates are continuing at his same school next year. I feel incredibly lucky to have found a preschool we adore so much and am trying not to feel too sad about my baby officially completing his first year of preschool. Time is flying!

Baby Sprinkle at Ryan’s Work

Early yesterday afternoon, Chase and I headed off to Ryan’s work for the sweetest baby sprinkle hosted by his coworkers for our family. It was so kind of everyone to think of us and our baby-on-the-way and include Chase in the party. (Chase LOVED going to Dad’s work! When Ryan met us in the lobby he didn’t miss a beat and said, “Hey Dad! Where are your friends? You have a computer?”)

When Ryan told me about his coworkers’ plans, we requested no gifts (the evite actually said “in lieu of gifts, bring treats” – haha!) but everyone was so generous and surprised us with a few things for our baby which was very thoughtful. I also really enjoyed the opportunity to meet some of the people on Ryan’s team. We laughed a lot about our desire to not know the sex of our baby (apparently this is a very uncommon thing among Ryan’s coworkers) and the general consensus among his colleagues is that we’ll be having a girl which was mostly attributed to how high I am carrying our baby. Surprise, surprise! I swear Chase and I are the only two thinking BOY these days.

Hydrangeas

(Apparently Chase’s hair reacts to humidity the same way as his mamas: A wavy fluffball! Haha!)

Shout out to the previous owners of our home for enjoying gardening and planting some lovely flowers all over our yard because it’s the gift that keeps on giving to our family! We have two gorgeous hydrangea bushes that are absolutely thriving right now and just looking out at the beautiful baby blue flowers makes me so happy. Chase and I have been snipping a few hydrangeas here and there to put in small vases around our house and I love the springy look of flowers from our yard in our home. I keep telling myself that I’ll get into gardening… eventually.

Sharing Calm

The last half of this week was a bit bananas, mainly because Chase didn’t nap at all and was clingier, fussier and all around needier than usual. Without his naps to count on, it was hard for me to find time to hit a few work-related deadlines with companies for future blog posts that took me away from my usual in-the-moment blogging. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to work from home but inevitably life gets in the way of work for me and I just have to roll with it even if it can make me feel a little more on edge. (And I currently have NO idea how all of this is going to look when I have two kiddos in the mix but I figured things out with one child so I’ll do it again. Bring on the wonderful chaos!)

Anyway, I share all of that because I found myself feeling more frustrated and impatient than usual this week and kept thinking about the above graphic a friend of mine shared on Facebook a month or so ago. It’s something I’ve found myself thinking about over and over again, especially when I’m in the thick of a toddler meltdown. Though I’ve never been a “yeller” by nature, I notice that Chase responds to me so much better when I take a deep breath and address him in a calm way versus when I allow myself to get frustrated and my voice admittedly gets tense and irritable. At almost three years old, his emotions are BIG and powerful and while it’s not always easy, responding to them calmly makes a huge difference and can help prevent the meltdown from escalating into a full-blown tantrum. Just remembering this simple quote has helped me a lot when I’ve found myself feeling snappy so I had to share it here just in case it is something that resonates with any of you out there, too!

Collapsible Stepping Stool

This handy stool probably should’ve made my list of my Most Used Kitchen Items when I shared that post back in February but it completely slipped my mind. Technically it isn’t something I exclusively use in the kitchen since I cart this bad boy around our house all the time to help me grab things from hard-to-reach high places. It was one of those random purchases I made at HomeGoods that I ended up using a million times more than I ever thought I would! I was the queen of hopping up on counters and unstable stools to grab items off top shelves and this little solution makes it waaay safer for me to reach top shelves. It’s collapsible so I just tuck it into a kitchen cabinet when I’m done. It also comes in handy as a little stepping stool for Chase, especially when he wants to help Mom with blog photos!  

Memorial Day Weekend Sales

Below you will find a roundup of a few Memorial Day Weekend sales that caught my eye!

Old Navy: 50% off all tanks, tees, dresses, shorts and swimwear (I ordered these comfy linen-blend shorts for $11 in olive after reading so many good reviews and am crossing my fingers this wide-leg jumpsuit won’t be a complete fail purchase because it’s so cute online. Hoping they’ll both work well postpartum!)

Nordstrom: Up to 40% off for their Half Yearly Sale

Nordstrom Rack: Extra 25% off clearance

Ulta: 20% off any one item with code 650805 (FYI, this is my hair dryer that is the BEST EVER. It is super powerful and reduces frizz/makes my hair look shinier/sleeker than any other blow dryer I’ve tried.) 

Athleta: 20% off swim

Nike: Up to 40% off (These shoes are calling to me! Love the pumice/mint color.)

LOFT: 40% off everything with code LONGWKND

Anthropologie: Extra 40% Off Sale Plus 20% Off Furniture + Décor

RueLaLa: YumiKim sale (LOVE their feminine dresses and rompers!)

Friday Flashbacks

Here’s a short collection of a few of my favorite recipes to try this Memorial Day weekend in case you have a fun cookout on the agenda:

Berry Frozen Yogurt Pie 

Gluten-Free No Bake Double Chocolate Icebox Cake

Greek Yogurt Rotisserie Chicken Salad

Black Bean and Brown Rice Salad

Paleo Lemon Cupcakes

Cold Quinoa Salad

Simple Shrimp Dip

Simple Summer Chopped Salad

Pineapple Mint Sangria

Question of the Day

What is one thing that is making you smile today?

[Read More ...] https://www.pbfingers.com/things-im-loving-friday-237/

[linettefre]

I really try to take care of my hair by not exposing it to heat and/or too many products.  My hair is pretty long, reaching down towards my waist.  At times it can be a fight with my hair when it is not playing nice like on a windy day and hair meets car door.  My extinct is to yank and say some unkind words but I’m working on it, just like I am working on trying to better my hair’s overall health and condition.

  When Kenra offered a snail care line to review, my first instinct was ewww.  I imagined a slug at the time swimming at the bottom of the bottles sort of like you see a worm in a Mezcal bottle.  The idea sounded wrong until I quickly recalled the high priced creams with what was pretty much slug juice that many swore by.  I decided to read and the ewww factor quickly dissipated.

  Things to know:

  No slugs or worms are swimming in your products or if you are a pro-snail person, no snails were harmed in making this new Kenra Snail Anti-Aging hair care line.  The benefits stated by Kenra read like a dream come true if you are seeking what we all desire.

  Shine restored

Helps with age related thinning of hair

Controls Frizz

Scalp Issues 

Dryness

Breakage from ends to just from over treated

Better manageability 

Helps strengthen your hair so it is just not appearing healthier, but actually improving your locks!

  #gallery-0-13 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-13 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-13 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-13 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Kenra Platinum Anti-Aging Collection

Kenra Platinum Anti-Aging Shampoo

Kenra Platinum Anti-Aging Conditioner

Kenra Platinum Anti-Aging CC Cream

  I received the Kenra Snail Anti-Aging Shampoo and Conditioner and after trying the products for 3 weeks this was what I experienced:

  My first wash was amazing.  The shampoo really lathers up with very little product needed.  When it came time to rinse, my hair did not feel dry or stripped.  Still clean but super soft.  Not weighed down but a smoothness that made you think I had added a leave-in conditioner already.  This is just the shampoo!  The conditioner made me fall in love with the duo.  You know how I said how soft my hair felt just after shampooing?  Well, the conditioner left my hair feeling like I never use a blow dryer.  Silk.  Pure silkiness and a shine that was instantly seen.  I was super happy but I always wait for how my hair appears when I use the hair dryer.  I am pretty good about not using it on super high heat and not over touching my hair to create frizz and static.  I applied a small dollop of the CC Cream provided in place of my usual leave-in hair product.  My hair was pretty tangle free because of how soft and relaxed the wash left it, which made distributing the CC cream easy.  I used my finger to get rid of some small tangles that unraveled the minute my fingers passed through.  I used very little of the CC cream because my hair felt great as it was.  Now, came drying.  Can I say I welcome less drying time on any day?  My hair took only 10 minutes to dry and not the usual semi-wet head I stay with before because I lazied my way out of doing it all the way.  My hair was like I wished I had time to dry it every time and soft.  Not a lion head mane but natural lift and body that made me love my hair how it looked and felt.  It was midnight and my hair looked so good I wanted to go out!

  Verdict: 

As I used the products, I was expecting my first wash was as good as it gets.  Wrong.  My hair just got shinier and shinier and some people inquired if I got a new cut or was I using a new oil.  Nope.  The luster was amazing and when I was looking at our home security cameras to see if the sprinklers had come on that morning, I caught myself leaving the house that day.  I don’t usually give myself compliments but my goodness………,my hair rocks! The luster and the way it just moves makes you think I am getting a blow out once a week.  I was stunned at how beautiful my hair looked and how the individual highlights gleamed in the sun and realize I don’t dye my hair.  This is just natural highlights that I get during Summer.  I can’t wait for the Winter change where my hair gets a more deeper chocolate/auburn hue and how that will look.  I dumped my other regimen and have replaced it with the new Kenra Snail Anti-Aging line.  It costs less because I won’t be seeking deep treatments to restore my hair.  It is now part of my hair care routine.  I use the Kenra shaping spray if I desire a longer lasting style and some hold but not on a regular basis.  The spray is alcohol free and that means all the work the Kenra Snail Shampoo & Conditioner, plus CC Cream is not lost.  No worries of over drying because of styling.  You can also incorporate into your routine the Kenra Platinum Heat Block Spray.  This spray protects your hair up to 450 degrees and I used it once when I wanted to use my flat iron.  My hair’s remained the same like no hot iron ever met it but if you really want the best top 3 products, please splurge and treat your hair to the Kenra Platinum Snail Anti-Aging Shampoo and Conditioner, and the Kenra Platinum Snail CC Creme.  Your hair will thank you!

#gallery-0-14 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-14 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-14 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-14 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Kenra Platinum Heat Blocker Spray

Kenra Shaping Spray 21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZvYgUC_p2E&feature=youtu.be

    I received the above product(s) free of charge from Kenra. I am not obligated to provide a positive or favorable review, just my honest opinion. I received no other compensation in exchange for my review. My review is based on my experience with the product and/or brand, which may differ from yours.

      Connect with Kenra at:

  Kenra

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Ulta

#SprayResponsibly  #hair  #Kenra #beehot  #AntiAging  #KenraProfessional  #snailedit

Kenra: Platinum Snail Anti-Aging Hair Care Line and Kenra Platinum Snail CC Creme #Review #Kenra #KenraPlatinum #Sponsored I really try to take care of my hair by not exposing it to heat and/or too many products. 

[divinelyjude]

Title: for want of a meal nail

Summary: bruh idk, oc twilight fanfiction. just a one shot, but I’m posting it here so my darling friend @awkwardbobs will see it. Love you <3

           The sand and dirt are warm still, as night sets in Arizona. Cooling fast, and as the last bits of light fade to purple-blue-black, I stare up through layers of pollution to the stars above. I can make out every single one in the sky, and decades of stargazing allows me to instantly pinpoint some of the most popular constellations. For a brief moment, I arch my back off the sand and stretch my muscles out, curling my fingers in and out of the dirt, before falling limp back onto the ground.

           “I don’t mean to alarm you, miss, but you’re not wearing enough clothes to be sleeping in a public park.”

           I blinked slowly, the pale lavender of my eyelids doing nothing to conceal the stars from me, before turning my head to the side.

           There was a kid standing a few feet away from me, sitting on her bike, looking as though she had been just about to ride her bike away. Perhaps she had. It was perhaps best that she did, too, when there were creatures like me roaming the night.

           “Miss, are you drunk?” the little girl asks.

           I raised a single eyebrow, but I conceded that it was probably odd for me to be here, wearing little more than a pair of shirts and a sports bra, in the cool night air. “My clothes are in the laundromat.”

           The girl looked up to stare at the distinctly closed laundromat across the street, before her head swung back down to me. The movement dislodged her long, brown hair, and her sweet, flowery scent swept through my nose. I breathed deeply, and my throat lit up in a burn of thirst that might have been unbearable a few hours earlier. Now, dizzingly full and feeling distinctly like a water balloon of blood, I had no desire to actually feed on the girl.

           “Al-right,” she said slowly, dragging each syllable out, clearly disbelieving. “I guess you have it figure out then. Sorry for bothering you.”

           And with that, she turns her brown eyes up away from me and pedals as fast as her child-legs can. It’s almost amusing, to watch the girl’s brow furrow in what is clearly confusion. Her scent leaves a trail behind her like a neon sign to any hungry vampire. I breathe deeply, closing my eyes and turning my face back to the sky.

           She really does smell nice and it’s been a while since I’ve given myself a treat.

           Inside the laundromat, the dryer beeps to signal that it’s finished.

           I find her again barely a day later, in a library. She’s doing math homework – prealgebra, maybe, but it’s been too long since I studied it, and it definitely wasn’t one of the human memories to stick around. In fact, none had.

           I don’t bother thinking about how creepy it will look to anyone that a seemingly-adult has just sat across from a little girl. Human morals and societal expectations irritated me, backwards and ignorant. The girl recognizes me, that’s incredibly clear. I smile in satisfaction, breathing in her scent deeply. The library is set to close in the next ten minutes, the sun already set and the surrounding area mostly deserted.

           “You’re wearing clothes,” she states.

           My grin falters as I stare at her. Instantly, her heart speeds up and blood rushes under her skin, pooling at her cheeks and venom floods my mouth. Not yet, I remind myself. Soon. Withstanding the burn now would make her blood all that sweeter to me when I finally did feast.

           “Sorry,” she blurts out. “I just – um – actually… Should I be shouting for help?”

           “Do you want to?” I ask, careful with my tone as I relax in the chair as though I’m a boneless eel. A piece of my hair, long and gold, falls into my eyes before I blow it out of the way.

           “Kind of.” The girl fidgets, gathering up her notes and sheets slowly. “Are you following me?”

           “What if I am?” I ask, the corner of my mouth dragging up my cheek without thought.

           “Then I should probably leave,” the girl says, standing abruptly.

           I pout, pushing my bottom lip out childishly. “At least tell me your name before your disappearing act.”

           The girl shakes her head and walks away. I listen carefully, eyes following her slight figure. Her hair is, comparably, not as long as mine, but it brushes halfway down her back still. It leaves the scent of flowers and chocolate in its wake, just like its color.

           “Goodnight, Miss Asbury,” says the girl.

           “See you tomorrow, Bella dear,” Miss Asbury replies. My smirk blooms into a grin.

           I whisper her name, and decide that I like the way it rolls off the tongue. I wonder if her blood rolls just the same. I get up and grab a random book off a nearby shelf – about gardening, I note with a glance – and go to check it out. Miss Asbury is quite irritated by being made to wait an extra ten minutes to close up while I fill out a Library Card form. I whistle under my breath as I walk back to the abandoned house I’d been hiding in during the day to stash the book. 

           “Hello, Bella,” I greet with good cheer. “How nice to see you again.”

           Bella looks up from the display of baked goods, shopping cart nearly dwarfing her in size beside her. She scowls fiercely, twisting her lips. “Why are you doing this?”

           I smile slightly. “Not going to ask how I know your name?”

           “Miss Asbury told me about you,” she said with a derisive sniff. “What kind of fake name is Jane Doe, anyways?”

           The smile blooms wider on my cheeks. “So you were curious about me.”

           Her cheeks flood red, bright contrast on her pale, lily-white skin. She looks like she would bruise easily under my fingers, and I promise to be gentle when I kill her. Not that she’ll appreciate it, but it’s the thought that counts.

           Bella turns, pushing the shopping cart in front of her. “Please leave me alone.”

           “But that would be no fun,” I whined, following beside her easily. “Besides, color me curious – what’s a ten year old doing at Wal-Mart at ten in the evening?”

           “Shopping,” was her terse answer. “And I’m thirteen.”

           I wave my hands aflutter. “My apologize, miss teenager.”

           “How old are you anyways?” she asks suddenly, frowning at me. “You shouldn’t be stalking thirteen year old’s.”

           I look her in the eyes when I lie. “Why, can’t you tell? I’m fifteen. No, sixteen. Maybe seventeen?” Bella huffs and walks faster, but I keep up. “No, no, don’t leave, I’m sorry. Here’s the truth. I’m turning fifty soon, but I’m also seventeen.”

           Bella shakes her head, even though I told her the truth. Humans, I think, are irritating. For a moment, I ponder why I’m waiting to kill her. But then a man breezes past us with a clunky cell phone to his ears and the gush of air it pushes into Bella shakes up her scent like a gentle breeze. Flowers and chocolate. Breathing deeply, I remember why. I’d only ever met someone who smelled as good as Bella did a few times before – and in my experience, the wait made everything better. I was good at waiting.

           “Leave me alone,” Bella nearly shouts, and a woman looks up from the meat aisle. “Seriously, I don’t know you and you’re creepy.”

           The woman is watching now, so I take a step back, holding my hands up in non-aggression. Bella practically stomps off, all preteen anger and child-like fury. The woman puts her meat back on the shelf and not-so-nonchalantly watches me over her shoulder as I turn to lock eyes with a snarl on my lips.

           She backs off with a terrified jump in her pulse and I take a deep breath, memorizing her scent. She smelled like oranges. I hated oranges. The world would be a better place without someone who smelled like oranges in it.

           “Fuck,” someone cursed loudly, and the floor shook under my feet. “Oh shit. Oops.”

           In one of the aisles far down, a shelf toppled to the side, crashing into the one next to it. Glass shattered as merchandise fell off the shelf and broke, people screamed as they ran out of the aisles like ants fleeing a picnic as shelf after shelf fell prey to it.

           I laughed under my breath. Humans.

           “Holy crow,” a familiar voice whispered as the next shelf began to fall.

           For a vampire, a second is all the time you need to think of a million things at once. In a split second, I thought about where Bella was and what would probably happen to her if she was crushed by an industrial Wal-Mart shelf and what I would do if she was crushed by said shelf. A rampage is what I would do.

           It took half a second for me to be by her side, grabbing her frail body with my hands and throwing her to the ground, covering her frail body with my own. I manhandled her arms and legs into the fetal position, tucking her head under my chin, just as the shelf slammed into my body after dropping jam jars on me.

           For what seemed like forever, the shelfs continued crashing, one after the other, until they reached the end and crashed into the floor with a reverberating clang. Under me, her side pressed entirely to my torso, Bella wasn’t breathing. I shifted, metal groaning above me, giving her what space I could. She looked up at me, still curled up and teary eyed, and gasped for breath.

           She looked fine. No visible wounds, and I couldn’t hear any bones crackling underneath her skin. Still. “Bella, are you alright?”

           She nods, a jerking motion nowhere near smooth. “You…you were by aisle five…”

           I nod. “Yep.”

           “This is aisle 12.”

           “Was,” I corrected. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

           Wouldn’t do for her to get hurt.

           Before I killed her, I added as a near afterthought.

           “I’m fine,” she snapped, and I decided that she probably wasn’t. “How did you get here so fast?”

           “Oh,” I said as I realized the implications of just what I’d done. Hopefully I could kill her before the Volturi found out. “I’m in track.”

           “I want the truth,” Bella spit, staring dead in my eyes. Irrational anger. She probably had a concussion.

           “I wasn’t that far away,” I tried to convince her half-heartedly. People were shouting around us, trying desperately to move everything.

           The metal shelf creaked and groaned on top of my body. Bella’s eyes shot to it – to where it was resting on my back. Then to her shopping car, toppled over and bent where the shelf had managed to crush some of it.

           “Are you- are you holding up the shelf?” she asked, voice cracking and high pitched.

           I winced. Definitely a concussion.

           “Nope,” I lied. “Oh hey, they’re lifting it up.”

           And they were – the strength of tens of humans, all working together to lift metal off victims. Amazing, what little bugs could do together. I moved off of Bella and she uncurled, the two of us crawling on our hands and knees out of the wreckage. We were the last ones, apparently.

           Humans crowded us on every side, ripping Bella and I apart as workers forced us into chairs along with anyone else who’d been trapped. Ambulances were coming, apparently, and there was a man sobbing in a chair, mumbling apologies. Poor guy.

           Convincing the paramedics that arrive that I’m in no need of medical attention is easy enough. Smiling and charming your way through anything is a vampire’s prerogative, after all. Instead, I turn the paramedic’s focus to Bella, stating that I was her babysitter and that she needed more help, she probably had a concussion. They picked up the story and ran with it, allowing me to ride in the ambulance with her all the way to the hospital.

           Bella glared at me the entire time, a neck brace around her neck and forced to lay on the ambulance bed-thing.

           I’d never actually been to a hospital, now that I thought about it. Or at least, not as far as I could remember in my vampiric life. Control had always been my strong suit, though, strangely. It was how I had refrained from instantly killing any of the ‘singers’ I came across after the first one – like Bella. Stepping into the hospital made my throat burn tenfold, especially after they took blood from Bella. But I refrained.

           It was whilst sitting in a plastic chair, after Bella’s mother had been called, and the room was empty aside from Bella and I, that I wondered what I was still doing here.

           I didn’t need to be here, yet I found myself reluctant to leave.

           “Later, Bella,” I said, standing and walking out.

           I… needed to think.

           After I left Bella to her own devices, I stayed away from her for a week. I had immediately went and killed Miss Orange Scent, broke into Wal-Mart and erased their footage of the incident, and spent five days in New Mexico.

           Being far from the small human I’d taken such interest in was hard. Unbearable, even. Bella was constantly on my mind, as to where she was, how she was doing, if any other accidents had befallen her, if she understood math yet.

           Quite the predicament I’d gotten myself into.

           Analyzing my feelings had never led me to good things, but it was a must now. Somehow, Bella had stopped being a meal for me, and started to be something else. What that something else was, I had no idea, but I didn’t like it. But I didn’t want to change it either.

           I returned to Phoenix seven days after I left. I followed Bella’s scent all the way to her home – a quaint two-story bedroom home that attempted to make up for the lack of greenery outside by filling the inside with it. Pretty, well-decorated, and cluttered. Lived-in. I broke in through the kitchen window, and stood inside for a few minutes on the linoleum floor. It smelled like Bella and another person – someone who smelled like vanilla and citrus.

           I walked through the house, at three in the morning, carefully touching every plant. Every leaf. Every cushion and tabletop and banister.

           I ignored the only other person in the house that wasn’t Bella and went to her room.

           It was…overwhelmingly purple. I might have gagged. I was a pink-gal myself, but even I wouldn’t decorate a bedroom so heavily in a single color. At least the carpet was white, stained here and there from a spill.

           Bella slept in her bed surrounded by pillows of all shapes and sizes. They seemed to swallow her up whole with how many there were. The room was saturated in her scent and simply standing here was already making me dizzy with thirst. Vampires, though, are good at standing still. Had anyone looked in, they might have wondered why a thirteen-year-old had a marble statue with a wig on it.

           Bella tossed and turned and mumbled under her breath. I caught only a few words.

           “Jane…no…” she whispered.

           I was gone from the house before the final syllable had left her throat.

           I killed three people that night.

           The next time I saw Bella, it was at the park where she had first found me. It was a startlingly similar position to be in, though in complete reverse. Bella laid on the ground eagle-spread, staring up at the night sky, and in the distance, only a sliver of sun was left. I stood above her, looking down at her curiously.

           “Miss, I don’t mean to alarm you, but I don’t think you’re dressed to spend a night in the park,” I mimed in a high-pitched tone.

           Bella glared at me. “I don’t sound like that.”

           “Sure you don’t,” I agreed civilly. “How’s the concussion?”

           “I didn’t have one,” she said. “Thanks to you. Thanks.”

           I blinked, unsure of how to take that. Was it an insult? Had she wanted a concussion? Instead of addressing the sarcastic thanks, I sat down by her head.

           “Where have you been, anyways, Jane?” Bella demanded. “You can’t just…do that and disappear!”

           I thought about correcting her on my name. “I’m sorry.”

           Why was I apologizing? Somehow, I felt bad – even when she had no hold over me! A mere human, able to control when and where I went? As if. Still, I found myself guilty at leaving her so suddenly like I had. Not even an explanation.

           Bella was quiet. “It’s fine.”

           Neither of us spoke. We sat in the dark as the moon rose and the first stars appeared in the sky.

           “I have some ideas about what you are.” Bella fiddles with the zipper of her jacket, tugging it up as the temperature drops lower.

           She doesn’t continue, and I drop my eyes from the sky to her. She’s staring at me curiously. “Hit me with them.”

           “Radioactive spider,” falls from her lips along with a blush. A laugh bursts from my chest. “Shut up. Um. Any radiation at all?”

    ��      I shook my head with a laugh. “No, no radiation. Also, I’m not from Krypton.”

           Bella looked like she eagerly wanted to either strangle me or herself. “Okay. One more. Vampire.”

           I turned to look back at the stars. Orion twinkled down at us, as though laughing at my predicament. “How’d you come up with that one?”

           The Volturi were going to kill me. They were going to rip my head from my shoulders, my limbs from their sockets, and they were going to burn me.

           “You’re too fast,” Bella started. “And you’re pale as a sheet – paler than me! And your eyes are red, but sometimes they’re dark, almost black. And you’re cold. I never see you during the day.”

           Well shit. “If I’m a vampire, shouldn’t you be running away in fear?” I asked curiously, not looking at her. Her heart beat picks up.

           “I don’t think you want to eat me.”

           I laughed, low and hearty, and in a heartbeat I had her pinned to the ground, her wrists in one hand and the other cupping her jaw. Ducking low, I pressed my lips and nose to her neck and inhaled, venom pooling on my tongue as fire burst inside me. It was beautiful, this pain, this scent, this girl. I wanted to devour her.

           “That’s where you’re wrong, Bella,” I mumbled, before disappearing to stand ten feet away.

           Her heartbeat was like a rabbits. She scrambled off the ground to stare at my, a hand clutched to her throat and her eyes wide in fear. It wasn’t more than a few seconds before she relaxed and dropped her hand, though, and some primal part of me hissed at the lack of survival instinct.

           “Don’t leave,” she whispered. “Please.”

           What about Bella made me submit? It was only three words and I was crouched in front of her again.

           “It’s Gloria,” I told her.

           “Gloria…” she whispered, reaching out a hand to brush a tangled lock of my hair away. Her skin was like fire against mine. Fragile and easy to snuff out. “How old are you, Gloria?”

           “Old enough to know you’re too young for this,” nearly blurted from my lips. Instead, I said to her, “Seventeen. Have been since 1950.”

           She blinked. “You’re older than my mom.”

           I don’t know why, but I laughed. Of course that’s what she’d focus on. Humans. Bella flushed bright red, and I carefully did not breath.

           “Sorry,” she mumbled. “Just…why did you save me? If you want to eat me, that is.”

           Up close, her eyes were a million different shades of brown, each interwoven with the next and completely different from any other. “I don’t know. Originally, I just wanted to eat you – but then I heard your heart skip at the store. And I couldn’t… You dead just wasn’t an option.”

           It wasn’t a good explanation, but it didn’t need to be.

           I needed to leave. Now, before things got more complicated than they already were. But my feet stayed rooted to the ground. Where would I go? I was a nomad, a lone one without even a single other vampire to keep me moving, keep me occupied, away from this girl.

           We stood there until the moon was passed the highest point in the sky, not talking, just staring at each other.

           I considered my options as the sun rose and I disappeared from where I had been hiding outside Bella’s house. She’d gotten tired near five am and I had walked her home. Now it was my turn to ‘rest,’ though I doubted I would have a peaceful mind.

           The Volturi had strict rules on humans knowing of our kind. Either they were turned, or they died. And Bella dying, as I’d already admitted to her, wasn’t an option to me. But a thirteen-year-old? I was pretty sure that was younger than what the infamous Jane and Alec were – and even those two were borderline Immortal Children, barely allowed by the Volturi because they were such an asset.

           I couldn’t turn her, I couldn’t kill her.

           All I could really do, I decided, was wait. At least two years.

           Turning her was the only reasonable option. At least two years was enough time to teach her about everything before hand.

           Bella was, in all respects, quite… reasonable with this.

           “Why do I have to die?” she demanded, red in the face from anger rather than embarrassment for once. They’re sitting in the living room of her house, surrounded by plants.

           The more I interact with plants, the more I want one. Maybe a succulent of some kind, the book from the library said they were generally easy to care for.

           Bella’s mother, Renée Higginbotham, (and wasn’t that a mouthful) was out teaching at a local elementary, and Bella had played sick. I had been hiding in her closet all night and even with the curtains drawn on the windows now, it was the most populated area I’d been in during the day. Generally, if a vampire wanted to roam in the sun, they went to places with lots of rain and clouds. Not Arizona. I’d only meant to be here a day, passing through towards Greenland.

           That was before Bella.

           “Because the Volturi would kill both of us, or just you, and that can’t happen,” I told her for the umpteenth time. “And besides, it’s not dying! It’s…undying.”

           She rolled her eyes. “There’ll be a funeral and I’ll never see my parents again.”

           I closed my eyes to the frustration that was dealing with a preteen. “Think of it this way, Bella. Either you actually die now, causing your parents a bunch of suffering and you’ll never know if they live to their hundreds – or you wait two years, get your shit in order, and live to your hundreds.”

           Honestly, I wasn’t seeing a downside to this.

           Bella didn’t agree. Arguing with a thirteen-year-old girl apparently wasn’t one of my strong suits, either, because Bella ended up shouting at me to leave before realizing I couldn’t exactly do that during the day, and instead exiled herself to her room to sulk. Kids.

           I lounged on the couch until Renée came home, watching cooking shoes and watering the plants that seemed dehydrated. After that, I hid in the basement and snuck out in the night. I returned the next night, though, through Bella’s window – the girl wasn’t even asleep, so it was less creepy.

           She had a spiral notebook in her hand, too. Her eyes looked red like she’d been crying, but she seemed…resolved. Hopefully to my idea, because killing her was absolutely not something I was going to do, and eventually the Volturi would do it for me.

           Bella didn’t so much as glance up when I entered, nor when I sat next to her.

           Written on the paper at the top in thick black marker were the words Things To Do Before I Undie.

           At the very top of the list was that she wanted to turn 18.

           “I think I can hold out for five years,” I told her quietly. “Why 18, though?”

           “Because then I’ll be older than you,” she said, a tired hint of smugness in her tone.

           I rolled my eyes and playfully shoved her. “Yeah, that’s never gonna happen.”

           Staying in Arizona for five years was probably the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life. Confined to the night or Bella’s house, forced to travel far to feed but always having to come back… Hell, the best thing that had happened was that Renée got a boyfriend and was out more, leaving Bella and I more free reign of the house together.

           Despite this, it was also the best thing I’d ever done in my life. Bella got older seemingly like a lightning strike before my eyes. Fourteen passed like a blink, fifteen hit like a truck with menstrual cycles – sixteen was a bitch, to be honest. This was when Bella kissed me for the first time. Something I’d been waiting to do since she was shorter than my boobs. She was still short, though.

           Bella’s Undying Bucket List had things crossed off and added at an alarming rate. Planning her mother’s wedding was written and crossed off within a week of either option. It was sad that I couldn’t go, either, because the beach wedding had sounded awesome. Instead, I stayed back and watered the plants. I’d adopted them all as my own after Renée gave up gardening but kept the ‘death defying’ plants around for good luck.

           There was one bullet point on her list that I promised wouldn’t happen until the night of her eighteenth birthday, which got me a poke to the ribs and flushed cheeks for days.

           And then Bella decided to move in with her dad in Forks, Washington, not only to let Renée travel with Phil, but also to spend the last year of her life with her dad before she became like me that fall. It was something that we’d both been waiting on for years, and the closer that her birthday got, the more anxious we both became.

           Before the move, I got a hair cut – a new start for Bella might as well mean a fashion change for me. The many inches I cut off left my hair at a messy, layered bob around my chin that Bella promised I looked cute in. Bella was untrustworthy on this, though, as she thought I was cute in everything.

           I actually went to Forks a day before Bella. I was scoping out the hiding places and such, seeing if I would have any difficulty during the day. Happily, the place seemed to have a near-constant rain and no sunshine, so I finally got to walk around like an actual person.

           Unfortunately, I was apparently expected.

           The Cullens were only vampires I’d heard of, never met. Until now. 

           The girl in front of me, the vampire who was shorter than even Bella, had cornered me whilst I was hopping for a van. I wanted something that I could, potentially, live out of, with enough space for a bed because Bella needed to sleep now, but maybe also for other activities once she was turned. The car lot was mostly deserted, the salesman inside after I’d assured him he needn’t help me look.

           The vampire had hair shorter than mine, nearly shaved to her skull and oddly grown out, inky black to contrast with her amber-topaz eyes. She was beautiful, I noted, but nowhere near Bella. She was dressed impeccably, too, and held a bright red umbrella over her head. It even looked more expensive than my plain, stolen black one.

           “I’ve been expecting you,” she said, her voice like music. “You’ve been changing the future quite a lot. That’s okay, though, because you’re bringing us Bella.”

           My eyes were like steel then. “What do you mean by that, sweet cheeks?”

           She blinked, before laughing. It was odd, because I’d never seen another vampire so… friendly. “Oh, no, we’re not stealing her from you. It’s just that I see that we’re all going to be friends. Like family. I’m Alice, Alice Hale, or Cullen if you’d prefer. I’d like you to come meet my coven.”

           I narrowed my eyes. “How can I be sure that you’re not just going to kill me?”

           Alice smiled. “You’re not. Now, the van you’re going to like best is three rows down and the color of an orange monstrosity. Let’s go.”

           When it came time to pay for the van – which was an obnoxious orange color with carpeting on the inside and removable seats – Alice pulled out a shiny black Amex credit card. I stared at it, stuffing the stolen one right back into the stolen wallet and back into my stolen jeans. I’d heard the Cullens were rich…

           We drove my new van, which I had decided to name Gail, to the Cullen house. It was more like a mansion, situation far in the woods and all white wood and marble, with large French windows everywhere.

           We were met outside the porch by a tall, blonde vampire who was absolutely covered in scars in a way I hadn’t ever seen before. It scared me, right to my bones, even after Alice flounced up to the giant (in comparison to her) and kissed his cheek.

           “Gloria, this is my husband, Jasper Hale,” Alice introduced. “Jasper, this is Gloria, she’s going to be yours and Rosalie’s sister.”

           News to me, and apparently to him.

           Their front door opened, a redhead standing in the doorway with a scowl on his face.

           “Alice,” he said quietly, before sighing. “Come inside, Carlisle is waiting.”

           What followed was perhaps the strangest experience in my entire life.

           There were four other vampires waiting in an extravagantly decorated living room, and all in all, I was the only human-eater it seemed in the room. Odd, but not unusual, after being the only human-eater in Bella’s human house.

           There was a woman with caramel-colored hair sitting next to a man who was clearly the idea for Anne Rice’s Lestat, beauty-wise. A vivacious blonde sat next to a behemoth of a vampire with short, dark hair and a smile on his face, contrasting wildly to her scowl.

           “Gloria,” said the blonde man, when he stood from his seat on one of the couches, walking forward to shake my hand. “I’m Carlisle Cullen. I apologize for Alice’s rash actions – she should have given everyone a bit of warning to all of this, and you a choice.”

           Alice rolled her eyes as I answered. “That’s fine, it’s all okay. I’m just glad I’m not accidently barging in on a coven’s territory and stuff.”

           I’d have said shit, but something about cursing in front of this man left me leery.

           “How about we all sit down and we’ll explain,” said Carlisle, motioning to the couches. I’d never felt more out of place in my old, worn out clothing.

           Surrounded by vampires I didn’t know, I realized only belatedly after sitting next to Alice that I should be anxious. They could kill me at any moment, and I could do little to stop them. One vampire against seven? Nothing I did would save my ass.

           Yet all I felt was calm. I didn’t like it, I didn’t want to feel calm, but even my anger was calm.

           “I think it would be best to explain that Alice can see the future,” Carlisle began. “Only bits, and the future changes often enough that nothing is set in stone, but Alice saw you coming. You and your mate.”

           Bella.

           A burst of protective fury and fear overrode the calm for a second because if they even so much as touched a hair on Bella’s head-

           “She’s safe from us, don’t worry,” said the red head. “We don’t kill humans.”

           The calm washed over me, like a wave that I choked under and tried to fight. I glared around me, still trying to be as uncomfortable as I knew I should be.

           “Jasper, stop,” said the red head, and Alice’s husband shot him a look. Suddenly, I could feel again, all the anxiety and fear and anger. “I’m sorry, Gloria. We just wanted you to feel welcome.”            “Dandy job you’re all doing,” I bit out, grinding my teeth together. “Now finish explaining.”

           Everyone looked to Alice and Carlisle.

           Alice sighed and went first. “Okay, so there was a chance that you and Bella could have totally lived without us, but the thing is, you’ll both be so much happier being part of our family! Plus, it will so much easier for you to integrate into human society with our help! Plus, it feels like we’re already friends, and it hurts seeing a friend in need.”

           I still didn’t get any of it, but I was starting to. Alice could see the future. Jasper….emotions. Red head could read my mind. Maybe the others had powers, too, but I’d never been one of those lucky vampires.

           And for some reason, they all expected me to become part of their family.

           “Convince me,” I said, leaning back into the seat with ill-contained worry.

           Alice lit up. “Okay, so if you become part of our coven, you’ll be able to enroll in high school here – date Bella publicly! You’ll have access to money and housing and we know how to deal with newborns, so when Bella’s turned you won’t have to worry about keeping an eye on her. Plus, Bella will love the idea of vegetarianism, and while I know you won’t like it, you’ll suffer through it for her.”

           She put up a strong case, I guess. Still, I didn’t like the idea of just… recreating my life. I was fifty-five, and while there were vampires much, much older than me, I still felt like I was getting on in years. If I could have a stress-induced heart attack, you bet I would have already.

           The redhead snorted.

           “Sorry,” he said. “I’m Edward. The brunette is Esme, that’s Rosalie, and that’s Emmett.”

           I nodded as Alice gasped. “Oh! Yeah! If you join our coven, you can have as many plants as you want! CD’s! Books! And you and Bella can leave whenever you want, we won’t keep you prisoner or anything like that.”

           It was bribery, plain and simple, but it was bribery I liked the sound of.

           “Okay,” I said, nodding. “So, who’s my daddy?” 

           Of course, no one predicted that Bella was Edward’s singer.

           I had nearly gone after him to make sure he never touched Bella when he ran off to Alaska.

           Bella stopped me, though, saying that I of all people should know how hard it was to be around a singer. Unfortunately, Bella was right, and I didn’t get to get in a fight with Edward. Instead, I sparred with Jasper to get rid of my frustration.

           In public, Bella couldn’t interact with the Cullens much until I ‘came into the picture,’ which was in February. Outside of school, she was almost always at the Cullens, settling in with me into what would be our room in the future, decorate in shades of pink, yellow, and blue to suit us, covered in plants, and with the softest bed imaginable in it. Edward was forced to get over his bloodlust fast, not only because of proximity but also because I wouldn’t let him within ten feet of Bella otherwise, which was bad because they sat next to each other in Biology.

           Then Bella almost got hit by a car, and Edward saved her life.

           To be quite honest, I had no issue with the mind-reader after that. It reminded me almost strangely of the time in Wal-Mart when Bella was a preteen, and it was only a week or two later that I made my social debut.

           (Gloria Hale, younger sister to the Hale twins, who had been taken in by their grandparents instead of their aunt due to social services interfering until their grandparents died. Now living with her remaining family, she was enrolled into Forks High as a junior. By the first week, she and Bella had become ‘friends’. The third week was their debut as a couple, and despite a few bumps in the road, nobody had much a problem with them. )

           The biggest problem for me was the diet. Animal blood was absolutely disgusting, and it sucked to be surrounded by what was essentially a gourmet buffet everyday whilst living on vampire-saltines. But, just as I had controlled myself all my life, I didn’t even go near anyone for their blood.

           (Apparently, Carlisle thought it was my superpower. Control. According to Edward, though, that was Carlisle’s superpower, so everything is yet to be seen.)

           Life went on.

           The dance came and went, Bella and I dancing the night away before I watched her get smashed on vodka and she pouted at my inability to get drunk. However, we crossed another thing off her bucket list. Only a few left.

           Bella’s 18th birthday rolled around in September, days before senior year started. It was on her 18th birthday that Bella publicly ‘died,’ after a brutal car accident in Seattle where she was shopping for a dress to the party being thrown the next day.

           Forks was shook to its core at the death of the Chief’s daughter, and everyone mourned, and everyone pitied me. In public, I ‘cried’ and grieved and raged, attending a funeral and only a few days of school before Carlisle withdrew me and sent me to boarding school. No one blamed him, or me, after everything. Charlie Swan even greeted me at the airport with a hug, saying that I was always welcome at his home.

           The morning after a week after Bella’s death, I arrived on a private island owned by Carlisle where Bella had clearly been living it up. We crossed that one, special thing off her bucket list and the next day, I tasted her blood for the first time ever. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Esme were all there to help for the weeks following, just until Carlisle could respectfully move the family to somewhere for the time being.

           If I had thought Bella as a human was incredible, Bella as a vampire was…spectacular.

           Not to mention, the sex was pretty great, too. 

           (Somewhere in the world, three vampire nomads roam where one should’ve been dead, one should’ve been living a lie, and the last should’ve been building an army. Dozens of homeless teenagers across the coast wonder why they get shivers at the thought of red hair. Jacob Black turns into a wolf, never becomes Alpha, and never Imprints.)

This was just really self-indulgent okay, I regret nothing.