#'when will i feel desired? by myself or others?' and the blow dryer just making all sounds behind me

[rashfordian]

getting your hair blowdried <<<<<< eternal hell

[cerelcereal]

Fever Dream (Jimin x Reader)

fluff, comfort, no warnings needed.

enjoy! :>

🌸

I looked out the balcony. There sat the vast view of the city's night life. Buildings glimmered with light, people inside them rustling about and wanting to finish their last minute tasks. The dark midnight shade of blue stretched across the sky, replacing the once daylight with darkness, but it never bothered anyone because of the bright stars that decorated the darkness, giving people a sense of comfort that there will always be light in the dark. Kinda like Yin-Yang.

Somehow, even if the breeze wasn't too harsh and I wore a sweater, it still felt cold. My eyes that used to be so bright and full of life is currently dull, longing for someone that I barely see. Once a year, twice if I'm lucky, but other than that, no contact at all, aside from texts, calls and facetimes. Long distance relationships was something I prepared myself for, but nothing prepared me for the loneliness and quiet that covered my days and nights.

As an independent college student, I promised myself I wouldn't rely on my bestfriends anymore for company. I wanted to break free from the chain I created that held me back a lot from what I want to do because of the slight fear of what my friends think. Even if they support me a lot in what I want to do, and never held me back, I know in the end I only held myself back and I felt guilty doing that.

I leaned on the cold metal railing of my balcony, still sadly gazing at the city, waiting for my boyfriend to at least call me. Its already 3AM but we haven't had a call for today, and I wanted to hear his voice. My cellphone was cold in my hand, dangling off the balcony.

Texts aren't enough anymore and I'm afraid that as time slowly passes, I'm becoming more and more greedy of him. I try my best not to though. I was about to close my eyes, my phone almost falling off my hand, when a familiar ringtone entered my ears, waking up every blood and fiber of my body.

A small, tired smile adorned my lips at the caller ID. I immediately answered the call, putting the small gadget against my ear. "Hello?"

"(Y/N)~! If I computed correctly, its about 2 or 3AM there. How come you're still awake?" his angelic voice rang in my ears, comfort filling my system as my smile turned more sad, yet excited.

I looked up at the sky, "I'm doing some last minute work. You know how college is. My professors are evil." I lied. I finished all my tasks way ahead of time, so that I need not to worry about them in case I received a call from my bestfriend who is currently overseas, specifically Europe, doing a tour for his band. Of course I wouldn't admit that I waited for his call. If I did, he would either be cocky or worried. I wanted neither.

"Ah, maybe I shouldn't have called. Am I disturbing you?" Worry filled his voice, and I desired nothing more than to slap myself for saying that. I just remembered how easily this boy gets worried if he interrupts my studying as he wanted me to focus on school.

I shook my head, even if he couldn't see me. "Not really. I was just finishing up. How's tour? I hope you're all doing alright."

I could feel his smile even without seeing it. "Tour is great! The fans are all amazing and nice. Everyone is fine as well, we're all doing good and eating healthy. I hope you are too! We're currently on a break, and since I haven't called today, I took the chance and called you."

I hummed, which left us both in silence. There was a lot of background noises from his line, which probably meant they were probably preparing for an interview or something.

I could hear a blow dryer near him, sone of the boys' voices saying what kind of hair they want and probably Hoseok yelling with Jungkookie in the background. While my line is probably quiet as heck, making me feel a bit more lonely even if I was in a call with him.

"I miss you. When are you coming back?" I asked, not being able to hold back my desires anymore, my voice cracking a little due to exhaustion and longing for him.

I could hear him sigh from the other line, giving me a pregnant pause before speaking again, "We had to extend the tour for at least 2 more weeks. The demand for 2nd day tickets were so much that we had to have 2 day shows for some states. I'm sorry about that, and I miss you too. But don't worry, we'll see each other soon. And I'll be home till the next comeback, which is still unmade. So you can hog me as much as you want then."

Somehow what he said didn't assure me. Because in those days and so, he'll probably be stuck in studio, producing and recording new songs, making up new dance moves and practicing them. Then we won't be able to hangout at all. That's how it always is.

A sad frown imprinted itself on my face, my hands clenching the cold gadget against my ear.

"You ass. Promise me you'll hangout with me when you get home and not be stuck in the studio all day." I said, my voice wavering a little, my throat tightening.

He laughed before saying, "I made a song about promises, so yes, I promise I'll hangout with you. I gotta go now! Our interview is about to start." So I was right, they are preparing for an interview.

I nodded unconsciously again, sad that we only talked for a couple of minutes, but I was now assured of his promise. I only have to wait for 2 more weeks then he'll be home. "I'll see you soon. Bye, Jimin. Take care."

He hummed. "Bye, (Y/N)~! See you soon as well, and eat lots of healthy foods! I wanna see you gain some weight at least when I get back." I disregarded his last comment, dropping the call, now with a satisfied expression on my face.

I went back inside my room, closing the glass door that led to the balcony, throwing my phone on the bedside table and plopping my tired body on the soft fluffy covers of my bed. I snuggled close to the sweater I was wearing, Jimin's cologne stuck in it, helping me drift easier to dreamland.

[doctorrookie]

A Spicy Surprise

A/N: This is my first ever fic (for Ethan) and boy, am I nervous. It doesn't really have a category, so let's just call it an introductory, smutty, fluffy piece. I was inspired by a Tiktok video and I really hope you like this one. I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this, just letting all my creative juices flow. Go easy on me.

My MC is a female, named Alexandria Lee. More on her soon.

Word count: 1,921

—

“Ooh, Aly look!” Sienna grabs my wrist and pulls me over to the Bath and Glory stand. A big 50% off sign graces the top shelf.

Sienna and my shift just ended, but neither of us felt too tired, so we decided that we would go out for dinner at the mall nearby. After a sumptuous meal of the heartiest pasta on the face of the earth, we decided to take a stroll around the mall to burn some of it off. Sephora was having a Christmas sale, and we both thought we could go with some new war paint for work. Upon entering, we’re greeted by name brand after name brand etched on stands that are completely wiped out.

We glance at the half-empty Bath and Glory stand, shower gels, bath bombs, skin rejuvenator, whatever that is. Sienna picked up a thin tube of what looks like clear lip gloss.

“Minty Lip Maximiser, perfect for tingly make-out sessions…” Sienna teased, and I can feel my face flush red.

Ethan and I were getting a little… steamy in the supply closet, and Sienna happened to barge in right in the middle of our lip-lock, and let’s just say it’s a miracle his tongue is still in one piece. It’s a hilarious story, but it’s one I’ll share another day.

“Sie, stop it. You’re embarrassing yourself,” I giggle as she starts making kissy faces and sloppy lip-smacking sounds.

“You should totally get this, trust me.”

She zips her lips and gives me a playful wink, a mischievous glint in her other, open eye. There’s something more to this. Something… sinful, perhaps? I just have to know more.

“Is there something more to the equation?”

Sienna pulls me in close, her lips merely an inch away from my ear. Her soft, lilting voice juxtaposes against the content of her whispers. I would have never pegged as someone who would do something like that, but I have been known to be wrong about these things. The corners of my mouth twist into a wicked grin as I formulate a plan in my mind to surprise Ethan, courtesy of Sienna’s mildly disturbing tale.

—

I head to Ethan’s apartment. I spend one or two nights here a week, even though he’s constantly begging for more, but I pay good money for the five-roomer every month, so I have to make sure I get my worth. I slipped the key into the keyhole, just tingling with anticipation to find out his response to my little prank. I scan my eyes around his apartment and find him sitting on the couch, reading (yes, you guessed it) a medical journal. He looks up and beams at me, a smile I absolutely adore.

“Hi, rookie.” He pats the seat next to him, inviting me to join him. I set my bag down on the counter and make my way to his uber comfortable couch. He pulls me in by the waist for a tight hug and I can smell the faint combination of cologne, detergent, and aftershave all over him. The scent is truly intoxicating, and I find myself breathing in deep, revelling in his warmth. He places a soft, tender kiss on my forehead, his light stubble tickling me as I lean into him.

“Hey, Dr Ramsey, how was your day off?”

I turn myself slightly and lean my legs on the rest of the available couch space. I’ve been on them for 10 days straight, being on call and having multiple shifts lined up. I could use about a week’s worth of bed rest. That is, only if he’s right next to me.

“It was fine. Not as good as it could have been…” he closes the journal and places it on the coffee table, giving me his undivided attention.

“Aww, why is that?” I feign ignorance as I run a hand through his soft, dark locks, tousling it in the process.

“I know you just want me to say it’s because you’ve been gone all day.”

“Alright, then say it.”

He sighs lightly, a smirk appearing on his lips.

“Fine. It’s because you, Dr Alexandria Lee, have been away from me for more than 12 hours, and I had to wake up all alone this morning, holding and kissing, mind you, what I thought was my beautiful girlfriend, but turned out to be a pillow that smelled exactly like your hair.”

Ethan Ramsey, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. The sky is falling.

“Well, let’s see what I can do to make up for it then.”

I shift slightly so that my legs were in his lap and lean in close to plant a kiss on his lips, but with one strong move, he pinned my wrists down onto the seat cushions and hovered over me, his breath warm against my neck. He starts attacking my neck with kisses, and they burn into my skin with great passion and desire. He catches me by surprise when he gently nibbles and sucks on the sensitive spot right below my earlobe. My shallow breaths hitch and a soft moan escape me before I could suppress it. All thoughts disperse from my head, like a cloud of smoke. I just need him to do this to me all night long. He pulls away all of a sudden.

“E, what…”

“Let’s save this for later.  After all, we’ve got all night. And I have plans for every single minute of it.”

As much as I hate being teased, delicious tingles run up and down my body. We’ve both got a day off tomorrow and I can’t wait to see what shenanigans we’d be up to. Something wholesome, or something a little… dirtier.

“You’re right. I’ll go take a shower.”

I grab my purse, careful to not let him see the sheer, flimsy garment I have hidden in it. I make my way to the en-suite bathroom as I feel his eyes on me.

“Dr Ramsey, don’t you know it’s impolite to stare?” I say without turning back.

“Well, I can’t help it because…” He trails off.

“Because what?” I turn back, and our eyes lock.

“I like you, rookie.”

And with that, he opens up the journal and begins reading again. I sigh contentedly.

“I like you too, doctor.”

I close the bedroom door and scavenge for my towel, which is neatly folded next to his in the bathroom. I find a cute little basket of bottles adorned with jasmines and candy canes. A note sits on top of it.

Some olfactory stimulation to match how gorgeous you are, both inside and out

- E

This man truly knows his way around my heart. I’ve only mentioned I love jasmine-scented things once in passing. I can’t believe he remembered. And there’s this note. I can’t believe he went to visit my favorite retailer to get this, especially since there aren’t many outlets in Boston.

The sky is truly falling, and so am I.

I untie the ribbon and take a deep sniff of the lovely scent. Mmm… jas-mint. I love it.

—

I step out of the shower, reaching for my fluffy lilac towel. It even smells like him. I wrap it around my shoulders, the thick material providing some warmth on this cold winter day. I hunt around for the blow-dryer and let the heat take away those wet hair shudders. I rummage through my bag and find the little black negligee that I ordered last week. It got here yesterday, just in time for our weekly rendezvous. I slip it on and toss my hair back before checking how everything looks in the mirror.

Perfect.

As if on cue, the little Sephora bag tumbles out of my purse. I almost feel guilty about my little plan, but curiosity has always got the best of me. I unwrap the tube and apply some of the plumper on my lips. It’s got a menthol-cool burn, but nothing I can’t handle. I just hope Ethan has the same tolerance level as I do.

I drop my purse on the bedroom floor and twist the doorknob open, poking my head out to the living room. Ethan’s in the same position, still engrossed in the journal. He doesn’t notice my stroll from the bedroom to the couch, nor did he sense my hovering presence.

I clear my throat. “Ahem, Dr Ramsey.”

He looked up at me, mouth gaping as he took it all in.

“Aly…”

He pulled me down onto his lap, his dilated pupils becoming a tell-tale sign about his positive reaction to my little get-up. Well, one of the signs anyway.

“Mmm?” I try to stimulate a response from him.

“You look amazing.”

“Kiss me,” I whisper in his ear while slipping his glasses off, trying to stifle all signs of my mean-spirited prank. As I say that, a part of me is kicking myself for ruining this moment, and another part of me is bursting with laughter, just awaiting his response. Either way, it’s too late to back out as he’s leaning in steadily, eyes fluttering shut. I reciprocate and we lock lips tenderly. A faint taste of scotch, mixed with the mint from my gloss. Mmm.

Before any one of us could deepen the kiss, he pulls away all of a sudden, eyes wide as saucers.

“Aly, what is that?” He says urgently, breathing in and out from his mouth. “Oh gosh, it burns!”

He yelps and starts fanning his lips. The sight of it makes me burst out in laughter. The usually stoic Dr Ethan J. Ramsey is flapping his hands about and making an involuntary duck face.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME, LEE?” He groans loudly.

I barely managed to catch my breath, and he starts yelping in pain, triggering a second wave of belly laughs. Oh gosh, no one will believe me when I tell this story.

“Lip plumper…” I whimper through my laughs.

“They feel so numb. Are they bigger?” He points to his swollen, red lips. Well, it did say extreme plumping on the packaging.

I nod cautiously because he seems angrier right now than I’ve ever seen him. His eyebrows furrow as he squeezes his eyes tight. I love this.

I walk over to the kitchen to get him a glass of water and he downs it quick. After about a minute, he calms down and regains his composure. I give him a little sideways smirk as I pout my lips slightly and lean in to kiss him again.

“Woah, woah, Lee,” he holds a hand up to cup my mouth. “There’s no way you’re getting near these lips for a week!”

“Aww come on. After so many naughty texts today and that hickie you left on me just now?” I push my hair to the side to reveal the bruise forming beneath my earlobe.

“Fuck…” He groans. I’ve got him hooked.

“How can I be sure that you don’t stab me in my sleep tonight?” He cautiously backs away from me.

“Oh come on, I think you’d be able to see if I have a knife hidden on me right now, right?” I stand up and do a slow twirl for him, making sure to slow down and display the back of my lace thong to him.

He stands up and grabs my wrist, pulling me into the bedroom.

“Fine, we’ll have to work out a punishment for your escapade, but you’re not getting that pretty little mouth anywhere near…”

“We’ll see…”

[becuztaelien]

2| The Haircut

Part Two/?

1.8k Words, Warning: Highkey Smut ahead

“And you, babygirl… are going to tell me, tell me what you want?”

Now you had two options; either you could put up a fight and play hard to get-considering he did just make your job a hundred times harder-or you could allow yourself to be taken by him and since the latter is what usually happened you decided to go with the former. You weren’t going to let him sweet talk you, you weren’t going to let him get all cocky and get what he always wanted. Nope.

You smirked against his finger resting on your lips and removed your arms from around his neck bringing them up to push his finger on to his own lips and backed away from his embrace. He looked at you, confused, good, you thought, things were going well so far.

“Well… if I’m going to get what I want, I’m going to have to think about this for a bit.” You skipped to your shared bedroom hearing Jin pacing close behind you. This is going to be fun.

You stopped right at the door and turned around to face him. “And where do you think you’re going?”

“You didn’t want me to follow you?” he looked like a lost puppy and you could feel yourself slowly gaining control of the situation.

“Did I say I wanted you to follow me?”

“No…?”

“Then why are you here?” Jin scratched his head and turned on his heel, going back to the bathroom. When he was no longer in sight you strolled to your top drawer and pulled out his favourite black lingerie; he had bought it for you last Valentines and that was the only time you had worn it. You grinned at yourself, what an interesting turn of events, you thought as you stripped yourself of your jeans and loose top. Walking over to the full body mirror, you admired the way the lace hugged your body, exposing just the right amount to skin to make Jin go crazy but still remain completely unsatisfied. When you were happy with the way you looked, you grabbed the $3000 hair kit you had bought especially for him from the ‘Style Drawer’ as you liked to call it and headed for the bathroom. You peeked in and rolled your eyes, mentally face palming as you saw Jin admiring himself in the mirror of course… you thought and cleared your throat causing him to jump, he spun round and stared at you confusingly.

“J-jagi, I didn’t hear you… why are you hiding?” You smirked and disappeared heading to the kitchen, a minute later you appeared walking in casually holding a stool. You went up to the sink and placed the stool in front of the mirror bending down to lower it to the perfect height all the while ignoring Jin’s jaw dropped figure. Jin cleared his throat “Jagi… what are you-”

“Sit down.” You said ignoring him again. Jin stood still, his eyes frozen on your figure, it took him a second to realise what you had said and sat down on the stool looking at you through the mirror. “Since you ruined your hair, I want you to stay still and let me fix it, no whining no protesting and no complaining on how much time it takes.” You gave him a devilish smile “and then you’ll be forgiven.” You replaced your evil grin with an ironically angelic smile and Jin’s entire body slumped down as he sighed.

“But…” he was about to protest.

“No buts.” You said firmly.

“Not even yours?” he smirked and smacked it playfully, this cocky little…

“Especially not mine.” You said sternly and began opening the bag, spreading out your tools. “Hm… I could just give you above the eyebrow bangs, they were a definite success during YNWA… or we could experiment with curly bangs…” You began thinking about what you could out loud and only looked at Jin through the mirror for a second catching him staring at your butt. You smiled to yourself and placed your elbows on the sink shelf sticking your butt just enough to hear Jin sigh pursing his lips together and looking the other way, this was killing him. You snapped your fingers and muttered a low ‘ah ha’ before opening the sink and grabbing a hair brush. You thoroughly wet your hands along with the brush and ran it through Jin’s hair, soaking it. After you were done untangling it and making sure it was smooth you grabbed a comb and combed it straight down, looking at Jin’s face you noticed how red his cheeks had gotten, his hands were clenched into tight firsts and he couldn’t keep his eyes off your very proximate cleavage. You smirked as an idea popped into your head, “Ah let me just get the back.” You muttered getting closer to Jin so his face was literally centimetres away from your chest, you reached your arms forward and combed through the back of Jin’s hair feeling his hot breath on your exposed chest.

“Ja-jagi…” Jin choked out, his self-control dropping quickly.

“Yes?” You replied backing up and grabbing the hair gel, coating your fingers with it lightly.

“Don’t you think you’re being too… cruel?” Jin was giving you his puppy dog eyes accompanied with an adorable pout and you almost felt yourself give in before shaking your head lightly and resuming your work.

“How am I being cruel?” You asked innocently, applying the hair gel into his damp hair and plugging in the blow dryer.

“Ya! I know I made your job harder but you’re… you’re making my life harder right now…” he said the last part quietly, almost a mumble as he averted his eyes and looked down at the very obvious bulge growing in his pants.

“Good.” You said indifferently and Jin looked back up at you almost offended “Now you’ll think twice before chopping your bangs off.” You gave him an almost evil grin and turned on the blow-dryer, combing his hair in your desired style as it dried and the gel made sure it would stay that way. You went for a Fire meets BS&T meets Danger kind of look so one edge of the side parting you gave him was brushed and stuck to his head while the other, longer side, was puffy and in the air, revealing his beautiful forehead that ARMY so often requested. You had pretty much forgotten about what you were wearing and what your original intention to wear it even was, you were way too focused on your work and Jin knew this. The man had seen it a million times before; you were passionate and dedicated to your work and once you got into it, nothing could distract you, not even Jin’s hands that had moved and placed themselves on your waist pulling you closer with every second. You were just finishing up with a little bit of natural hairspray when you felt something hard press against your stomach. You dropped the spray bottle when you realised Jin had closed the space between you two and pressed your body flush against his, his strong arms were wrapped around your waist and his face was semi buried in your chest as he looked up at you through dark hooded eyes.

“You’re done.” He stated as a matter of fact, his voice had changed from the early whiny and pouty attitude to a now more authoritative and assertive tone making a chill run down your spine.

“I’m not.” You retorted trying to take control back but knowing fully well it wasn’t going to happen.

“You’re talking to me which means you aren’t focused and you never lose focus unless you’re done.” He held you tighter “so now it’s my turn.” He smirked, oh boy. Jin moved his head away and peaked into the mirror raising his eyebrows, clearly impressed by what you had done “hey handsome.” He said winking to himself and you rolled your eyes “why don’t you show this pretty lady what she really should have asked for huh?” he was wiggling his eyebrows at himself and you cringed, why was he like this? Why did you actually love him for being like this? Some questions were better off without answers. Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt Jin’s hand move from your waist down to your thighs and grip at them tightly “What are you thinking about hm?” he muttered softly before lifting you and standing up at the same time. You yelped at the sudden action and quickly wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I’m just thinking about…” you searched your thoughts quickly for some sort of rebuttal but the grin that appeared on his face was a clear indicator that he knew. He chuckled deeply and gave you a sultry look before walking towards his bedroom.

“ahh jagi...” he sighed, “when will you learn?”

“What exactly are you trying to teach me?” You returned his look challengingly with a subtle lip bite, why am I trying to make this worse for myself?

He laughed, visibly amused and you felt him quite literally throw you backwards on to the bed. It was unexpected and resulted in a small scream but before you knew it, he was slowly crawling over your half naked figure. His hand slowly travelled up your inner thigh and you could feel the chills all over your body. “Jin-” but you were cut off by his lips finding their way to yours. You softly moaned into the kiss when you felt his hand travelling up and flicking at your nipple. He pulled away only to open his mouth which caused you to do the same. His tongue met yours as he began overlapping around it and softly pulling back, biting your lip softly in the process. All the while, his fingers had been gently playing with your now hardened nipples. “Ah~ Jin�� I want you.” You couldn’t help but moan out. He chuckled knowing your chest was your weak spot, but he wasn’t going to give it to you so easily; you had toyed with him and now it was his turn.

“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific baby.” His voice was laced with so much seduction, it was almost like a drug. You knew what he was doing and you knew what he wanted to hear. Moving your hands to his face, you forgot about your pride and looked at him desperately.

“Touch me... please~” You replied with the straightest face you could possibly muster up given the circumstances. Jin didn’t need telling twice, he reached behind you to undo the hook holding your entire lingerie piece together before moving his hand under the soft material. With each second, he got closer and closer to where you wanted him but stopped just before resulting in a frustrated whine from you.

“Touch you where princess?” he smirked, clearly enjoying himself. You placed a hand over his and dragged it until it was right over your pussy; his fingers got wet immediately.

“Here, touch me here.” you responded boldly.

PART TWOOOOOOOO iz hereeeeee. lmao again, sorry to all y'all horny folks out there for the cliffhanger. I’m actually debating writing a part three cuz it’ll literally just be smut lol so like, lemme know if y’all actually want a part three or if I should just leave it to y’alls nasty imagination -ASH

[vannahfanfics]

How about Nami/Chopper/Robin?

Here you go, Anon! This was fun to write; I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Pampered

Nami frowned deeply as she inspected her fingernails on both her hands. Just as she had feared, they had seen better days. Her arms extended to peruse the skin of her arms, finding them in a similar state of disrepair; all the salt and wind of being on the open sea had left them dry an unappealing. Surely her legs fared no better. Finally, she tugged at her twisting locks of tangerine hair. Split ends abounded, and the texture was more akin to rope than hair. Well, that was that.

Nami was in desperate need of a spa day.

She had been sitting on her bed the entire time, so she slung her legs off the side to hop up and stroll over to where Robin was sitting in her designated reading chair, poring over some history book or another. The dark-haired woman’s bright eyes flickered up to meet hers as she stopped in front of her, and she politely closed the book and set it on the small table next to her to properly address her.

“A spa day?” she inquired when Nami voiced her intentions.

“Mm-hmm! A girl requires a little pampering every now and then, you know. It would be no fun to do it all by myself, though,” she pouted slightly. The best part about spa days was having a girl friend to share it with, gossiping and trading personal care secrets. She clasped her hands together in a pleading gesture, brown eyes sparkling innocently. “Please, Robin? It’ll be so much fun! Once we’re all dolled up we can go upstairs and see who can make Sanji pass out from blood loss first!” she teased, appealing to the woman’s undeniable mischievous side. Robin smirked slightly and tapped at her chin with the pad of her index finger.

“I’m intrigued. Sure, let’s have a spa day together, Nami.”

“Oh, boy! Hold on, hold on, I gotta get prepared!” Nami squealed with delight and whirled in a quick pirouette of glee before zooming to the chest sitting at the end of her bed. She rattled off the various items required for a perfect spa day as she dragged them from the contents of the chest, occasionally jumping about to rifle through her nightstand or other various storage containers scattered about the room. As Nami was bursting through the door to their shared bedroom to carry her various articles to the bathroom down the hall, little Chopper came hopping down the steps leading to the upper deck.

“Hello, Nami, Robin!” he chirped happily. His little reindeer hooves clacked against the wooden floor as he approached them. “What is all that, Nami?” he asked curiously as he beheld the pile of stuff the navigator had crammed in her arms.

“We’re having a spa day,” Robin informed him matter-of-factly. He blinked up at them for a minute, and then his black eyes went wide and a big wondrous smile appeared on his furry face.

“A spa day? I’ve never had one of those… Can I have a spa day, too?” Nami and Robin looked at one another in surprise. Chopper hung around the boys a lot, so it was interesting that he desired to partake in something that was societally considered girlish. He was a boy, but Nami generally regarded him as more of a child than anything, and she had been naked in front of him before; he was a doctor, after all. Robin shrugged in indifference, leading Nami to look at Chopper with a nod.

“Of course, Chopper!” The little reindeer and exclaimed in glee, jumping up and down before hastily trotting after the two women as they headed to the bathroom. Nami dumped all of her necessary supplies on the tiled floor before she grabbed the large wooden tub that would hold their bathwater, dragging it over to the faucet and flipping the switch. Hot, steaming water burst from the metal apparatus, sending clouds of steam wisping before her face. Nami grabbed a bottle of her hand-crafted tangerine-scented shampoo and squeezed a little glob of it into the gushing stream; bubbles immediately began billowing up, coating the edge of the tub in the frothing white substance. Once the tub was filled high enough, she cut off the stream and lugged it over to where the two others were waiting. “Part one of Nami’s Spa Day Special- a bubble bath!” she squealed with delight and all but wrenched off her clothes.

She and Robin took seats on the small stools that were situated nearby and scoured themselves with soft, spongy loofas, while Chopper elected to climb into the little tub and sink down to his chin. It didn’t take long for him to start playing with the bubbles, and he had Robin and Nami in fits of laughter as he arranged different ridiculous hats and hairstyles on his head from the plentiful suds, and they joined in once Nami took out the shampoo and conditioner. Robin imitated Franky’s cockatiel-like hair, and it had them rolling around on the tiles giggling. Once he had frolicked to his heart’s content, the two of them scrubbed every square inch of his thick fur with shampoo and conditioner. He climbed out of the tub, standing awkwardly to the side a sopping mess, while Nami tipped the tub over to dump the leftover water out and allow it to drain. The air was filled with the fragrant aroma of citrus fruits, and it clung to their freshly-cleaned bodies. Nami quickly dabbed herself dry with the fluffy towel she had picked specifically for the occasion before gesturing Chopper over so she could dry his voluminous fur.

“Your shampoo and conditioner smells so good, Nami!” he chirped as Nami rubbed the strands of his fur between the cottony surface.

“Thank you, Chopper. Tangerine is a good scent on you!”

“You think so?” She confirmed it with a happy nod. Once Chopper’s hair was reduced to an acceptable level of damp, she set the towel aside and plugged up her hair dryer, sure to leave the cord far away from the puddles of water still glistening across the floor. She dried her hair first, spreading the dark orange waves apart as she ran the hair dryer up and down the strands, until they returned to their shiny, bright tangerine hue. Robin had already finished hers with a second hair dryer, and it shone like threads of obsidian over her slim shoulders. They set Chopper on a stool and each took a side to blow-dry his fur. He sat contented under the warm air and soft strokes of their brushes. “Ahh… This is so nice…”

“Isn’t it?” Nami mused. Between the two of them, the ladies were able to completely dry him from head to toe, and his reindeer fur took on a lovely sheen that it never had before. He kept running his hooves over the fur of his belly, appreciating the cozy softness.

“What are we gonna do now?” he asked Nami excitedly. She and Robin were currently rubbing some vanilla lotion into their skin (Nami thought that the scent would compliment the aroma of her tangerines, and she was right).

“Hold on just a second, Chopper! Once we finish this, we’re gonna do face masks next!”

“Oooh! Face masks!” he squealed elatedly. Once she was finished, Nami rubbed the excess lotion from her hands with her towel and then wrapped the fluffy textile around her body. The rest of her spa kit was piled on her bed back in their bedroom, and so they took the party there. They dressed themselves in a matching set of pajamas that Nami had gotten them one girl’s night out; they were a plaid set of short-shorts and a tank top, Nami’s a summer yellow and Robin’s a soothing lavender. So Chopper didn’t feel left out, she managed to find a graphic tee that would fit him with a bunch of purple and yellow flowers on it, so he matched them, too. The three of them then piled onto Nami’s bed to partake in the face masks.

“Now, Chopper, face masks are for skin, so these won’t really work for you,” Nami told him. Chopper’s little ears flattened to his head as he slumped miserably into the mattress. He instantly perked up when she continued, “But, while Robin and I have these, we’re gonna do something special for your hooves, okay?” She took a buffing pad and threw it to Robin, then procured herself one. “They’re gonna be so shiny and smooth! But you have to be still, okay?”

“Okay!” he beamed brightly. They put the facemasks on before they set to buffing Chopper’s hooves, busying themselves while the creamy concoctions hardened on the sensitive skin of their faces. Chopper obediently remained very still as the two of them smoothed out the chipped, scratched keratin of his dark brown hooves, but his little eyes kept flicking back and forth to watch them, obviously very excited. Nami had estimated the time perfectly; at the moment they finished polishing his hooves, the face masks had finished their work. It clung to Nami’s skin insistently as she peeled it off, and she made a point not to look at all the nastiness that had adhered to its sticky surface. She tossed it in the trash before looking down at Chopper.

“Would you like to paint your hooves?”

“Uh-huh! Can you paint them to match my PJ’s?”

“Of course!” Nami grinned and pulled out her box of nail polish. She had quite the collection; after all, she needed shades for all her outfits! She perused the numerous shades before she found a pair titled Daffodil Days and Lavender Sunrise. “We’ll all have matching nails, right, Robin?”

“Naturally,” she confirmed with a smile. Chopper bounced up and down on the mattress in excitement until Nami tutted at him to be still, lest she smear the paint. She applied the daffodil color as the base, and while it dried on the tips of Chopper’s hooves, she and Robin applied it to both their fingernails and toenails (after buffing their own nails, of course). Once they started waving their hands above to dry them faster, Chopper copied the motion, laughing with glee. Once they were sufficiently dry, Nami added a bit of floral flair by dabbing dots on each one to make something reminiscent of lavender blossoms. She added a touch of white on the ends to make them pop. Chopper’s eyes went big as he stared at his decorated hooves in wonder.

“Wow, Nami! You’re so talented!” he cooed. Nami chuckled, but not too much because she didn’t want to blur the paint she was dabbing onto Robin’s toenails.

“I’m not the best nail artist, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

The girls waited for their nails to dry before adding a coat of sealing polish for gloss, and then their spa routine was complete. “So, Chopper, what did you think of our spa day?”

“It was so much fun!” he squealed, painted hooves waving about in the air. She and Robin chuckled light-heartedly. “Can we do it again sometime?”

“Sure!”

“We’d love to, Chopper.” His smile practically radiated sunshine, and Nami was again struck by how absolutely adorable their little doctor was. It was almost like having a child to dote on. Based on the motherly smile Robin gave him as she patted the top of his head, Robin agreed. The smile then fell from his face, and his little shoulders slumped dejectedly. “What is it, Chopper?”

“I’m sad because it’s over now…”

“Don’t be sad!” Nami grinned, and he looked up at her with wide eyes. “Don’t you know what comes after spa days? Sleepovers!”

“Oh boy, oh boy!” he cried, instantly elated again. He jumped down from Nami’s bed to scurry over to the door and throw it open. “I’m gonna go get a pillow and blanket! And ask Sanji for popcorn! And show everyone my pretty hooves! Oh boy, oh boy, I can’t wait!” he howled as he ran down the hall. Nami giggled at his boundless energy and leaned back into her pillows, looking at her now neatly manicured and painted nails.

Reindeers need pampering every now and then too, I guess!

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to perusemy Tableof Contents!

Tag List: @searchfortheonepiece

[cannibalisticshadows]

Loving The Alien (Part 8)

“Blood and Bone”

(Ao3)

For electronicpencil, and the anons who want Megamind to be reptilian.

Megamind stayed for ten more minutes that night, after showing her his flaky neck. He says it only gets worse, since it just begun, and unless she wanted his flakes flying everywhere he should leave. So, despite his original resentment of her lips on any part of him, she gives him a peck on his nose and tells him to drive home safely.

She doesn’t hear from him for the next six days.

And it’s—concerning. She's so used to seeing his face now, in her own home, that when she returns to work after her short leave all she can think about is if he’s okay (honestly, she shouldn’t worry, he said molting was perfectly normal and it will continue to happen until he dies).

Still, though, she’s a little worried. She had no way of getting in contact with him.

“Hey, Roxa-roo,” her red-haired cameraman says, once her report from outside of the Metro Man museum is over (talking about Megamind’s absence—she knows the truth but this is basically a report on nothing). “I was thinkin’, since old Megs is like, probably dead, you wanna come over for some pizza to celebrate? My treat!”

Roxanne resists the strong urge to tell him off. Megamind’s death would in no way be a celebration. “No thanks, Hal, I’ve got dinner plans.”

“Oh,” he said, shoulders slumping. “Maybe next time?”

“Maybe.” For all that he was, Hal was a good cameraman, but his boyfriend material was far, far from what she found desirable.

“Okay. See you later, Roxie!”

She hated that name.

-------------------

She lied when she said she had dinner plans. If anything, she may eat a cup of noodles, but she ends up taking a walk in the park. It’s so late that everyone has gone home, leaving the trails void of any soul. The summer night felt lovely against her skin, prompting her to remove her jacket, leaving her in her ruffled blue dress. Eventually, she sits on a bench, enjoying the sound of the wind in the trees, and the absence of any person around.

Or so she thought.

“Nice night?”

She jolts and spins around in her seat, her blue eyes landing on the one sight she wanted most to see.

“Megamind!” She exclaims, her face lighting up in delight as he approached her.

He’s wearing jeans, of all things. Jeans and combat boots, with a dark blue top and a leather jacket with the collar turned up. His tail swishes around as she runs up to him, so overjoyed to see him she literally jumps him, sending them both to the ground.

He grips her lower back as they land in the grass, laughing as she squeals his name again. “You’re back!”

“I never left,” he chuckles, arching his neck as she places sloppy, desperate kisses along his jaw. “I was just being gross and taking a lot of showers.”

“You couldn’t be gross to me if you bathed in the garbage. Wait. Actually, I take that back. I do enjoy nice smells. I have standards.”

He laughs heartily at that, rolling her over until she’s pinned beneath him. She can see his tail behind him, raised up as his weight presses her into the ground. “Then tell me now, Miss Ritchi. Do I smell?”

She pressed her nose to his neck. He shivers at her touch. “You smell amazing.” And he did. Like something she’d find at a pricey perfume store for a million bucks, but it was so light she found herself chasing the scent because it filled her with such pleasure. There was also something she knew was just plain him, like autumn wind and dark chocolate and fresh leather. Overall he smelled really good, and not to mention his skin felt fucking greeeeeat. She hadn’t realized it until now that the days leading up to his “shedding”, his skin had felt dryer than usual.

“I missed you,” she found herself saying. He tilted his head, smiling softly. “Hey, Megamind?”

“Hmm?” He let out a little purr, moving off of her so they could both sit up.

“Are you… still a villain?”

He sat for a quiet minute, staring at the shaking leaves of the tree they found themselves under.

“I don’t really know anymore.”

“How come?”

“I… Roxanne, I’ve been bad my whole life,” he flopped down on his back, staring at the sky. “The only thing I’m good at is trying to beat Mr. Perfect Hair.”

“You and I both know that’s basically impossible, but that’s beside the point. Megamind, you’re brilliant. You have so much to offer the world besides trying to blow stuff up.”

“Or kidnap you?”

She rolled her eyes, but playfully. “Or kidnap me. Seriously, sweetheart, from the start I knew you weren’t all that bad.”

“Because I suck that much?”

“No,” she said sharply. “You never really tried to hurt me. In all these years it became obvious you were never evil.”

“Tell that to the rest of the world.”

“You’d be surprised.” Roxanne lays down beside him, placing a hand on his chest. “My parents live out in the boonies. Country land.”

“I know. They own a farm.”

Of course he’d know. “The point is, is that they were so proud of me when I went to college and started my path to being a news reporter. Not the place I imagined myself being as a kid, but I was happy and they were happy with my decision.” She put her head on his chest. To her mild surprise, his heart is much louder than a human’s, and at least twice as fast. “My mom barely passed high school. My dad dropped out before senior year. He inherited the farm from my granddad because his mom wanted nothing to do with it. They’re simple people. Quiet, even. And they were so overjoyed that I’d finished my education. But you wanna know something?”

She can see he doesn’t understand where she’s going with this, but he’s paying close attention.

“When you kidnapped me the first time both of them came up here in the old pick up truck and nearly demanded me to come back home. They did this for the first five times. After that, they started to realize something.”

“What?” He asks it like his life depends on it.

“Do you remember our fifth kidnapping?”

He purses his blue lips. “I remember each and everyone.”

“You could have let me fall off the cliff you had dangled me off of,” she said, leaning up again to meet his vibrant green eyes. “But you nearly risked your own life to save mine when the rope snapped unexpectedly.”

He doesn’t respond.

“They saw that. There are a lot of other people who saw that, too. You’ve done a lot of insane and illegal things, Megamind, but being evil isn’t one of them.”

He swallows.

“Now,” she leans in closer. “Are you going to lay here all night or kiss me, lover?”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

She’s suddenly on her back again, this time with her wrists pinned above her head as he assaults her mouth with the most intense kiss they’ve shared yet. He tried to mold his mouth onto hers, their noses bumping against each other. She moans and arches her back, feeling him wriggle against her until she parts her legs to allow him perches between her thighs.

With his heavier-than-expected weight, she can feel his slim figure move atop hers, grinding into her in the most pleasant way. She opens her mouth in another moan of encouragement, happy to feel his slick tongue touch her bottom lip.

“Megamind,” she exclaims, feeling him grind against her womanhood. He murmurs her name against her neck, making it sound like a plea to God Himself as he laved her skin, dragging his long tongue down to her collarbone.

For a brief moment, she feels—she feels something hard press against her through his jeans—

And then he’s gone—

Someone is shouting her name, and Megamind’s—

“Megamind!” She shouts, sitting up at the speed of light because he had been literally yanked off of her. He’s—dangling, in the air, by his tail.

Out of costume, Metro Man was just plain old Wayne Scott. Poster boy for perfection and all that was righteous. Right now, the buff man was in jeans as well but wore a plain white dress shirt and a gray jacket. His face, though, wore absolute fury.

“This is what you’ve been doing!?” He demands, voice booming. “Molesting Roxie!?”

“Put me down!” Megamind roars, flailing all his limbs, face turning a light shade of purple as seemingly all the blood in his body rushed to his head.

“Stop it!” She shouts, wanting to grab Wayne by the ears and tell him off because Megamind was doing nothing wrong what so ever. She can barely watch it because never has he tried to carry Megamind by the tail and never has she seen him strong enough to hold himself upside down by it. Carry things, sometimes, but he wasn’t a monkey.

“Jesus, and to think I was actually worried about you,” Wayne seethes, and actually—he yanks Megamind by swinging him—and—

Good God what the fuck is he doing to him—

She can’t hear herself shouting Megamind’s name, but she feels her voice rip through her throat because suddenly she’s throwing herself to the ground beside him as he falls to the floor in a loud thump, and something wet and warm splattering a part of her face.

Wayne lands beside them with all the grace in the world, dropping—dropping—it to the ground—

She has zero idea of what to do. This was never done before. Wayne always roughed his nemesis up a bit before bringing him to jail. Never—never really hurting him—

“Megamind,” she sobs, helping his shaking form to lean upon his hands and knees, clutching him to her chest. “Oh, Megamind—“

His beautiful, perfect tail is lying on the ground just a foot away, blood pooling at the base of it. Never before had she seen it so limp. Now—now it wasn’t even apart of—

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” She shouts at the superhero as loud as possible.

“Um—“ Now, Wayne looks confused. Megamind says nothing, but clutches onto her with his face in her chest, still quaking with tremors of clear agony. His feet kick at the ground.

“HE WAS DOING NOTHING WRONG!”

Now the hero goes pale, and his eyes dart from Megamind to her, to the tail, to—

“W-what?”

“You idiot!” She cries, holding onto Megamind tighter. In her horror and wrath, she has enough brain cells in her to tell her to put pressure on the wound. “He wasn’t molesting me! I wanted it!”

“You—what?!”

Megamind, still shaking, turns his head to face his life-long enemy. “Still can’t resist pulling it off, can you?”

Not really understanding what he meant by this, she just holds onto him and shouts, “Take us home, right now, or I will scream so loud even your ears will burst!”

Wayne, still confused and stuttering manages to pull himself together and pick both of them up. She grabs onto Megamind’s tail and holds it close, knowing it should be put into ice or something until they can reattach it. They can reattach it, right? It’s possible to do that will plenty of detached limbs—

They get to her apartment through the balcony, and she rushes inside and puts Megamind on the sofa. He’s—he’s unconscious, and his blood has seeped into her outfit and it’s on her hands and—

“What did you mean, you wanted it to happen?” Wayne’s asking her, standing in the middle of the room looking dumbfounded. “He was—asulting you!”  

“It’s called making out, you ass!” She shouts, grabbing the vase Megamind replaced the previous one with and throws it at him. He’s unaffected. “And he’s good! He’s fine! He’s not hurting anybody anymore!” She throws a book at his head. “You tore his fucking tail off what the fucking fuck is wrong with you!?”

“Roxanne—“ he pauses as she throws a chair at him. “Roxanne, he’s gonna be okay. This has happened before.”

“W—“ She lowers the dictionary in her hands. “What do you mean?”

“It grows back,” he said, looking mildly weirded out. “Like a lizard.”

I’m not a lizard, Megamind’s voice echoes in her head.

She throws the dictionary at him anyway.

“Get out of my apartment, Wayne.”

He leaves.

And now she’s alone with a tailless, unconscious Megamind, and she’s got no earthly idea what to do.

[demisexualemmaswan]

springtime serenade

A/N: This is my gift for the incomparable @flslp87 for the @csficformal event this month! I’m sorry I started lacking on the anons, but I hope our discussion of storms and CS fluff (and what you don’t like and what you do like) is a perfect gift for you this (admittedly very rainy) spring!

Suggested Listening

Read on Ao3 here! 

Sometimes it was easy to tell a storm was coming.

The temperature would drop.

The wind would shift.

The dark clouds would come rolling in before anyone could blink.

Other times, it wasn’t so easy. Storms were fickle and could burst in overhead at a moment’s notice. There were many mornings from his younger days where the sky would be clear at breakfast, and then filled with thick, dark gray clouds at lunch.

So if there was one thing Killian Jones knew from many years at sea, it was exactly when a storm was coming.

The morning was cloudy to be sure, but every so often the sun would break through, lighting up the backyard for a few moments before disappearing again. Still, there was a weight to the air and a smell to the garden that Killian Jones was all too familiar with.

So he did now, three hundred years old and married, what he would do as a young lieutenant: he alerted his captain.

“Miss me already? I’ve only been on patrol for a few hours,” she teased lovingly, and he smiled just at the sound of his wife’s voice. “It’s not like you to come check up on me so soon. And on your day off too, no less.” The teasing lilt in Emma’s voice warmed him and his smile grew a little bit more.

“I always miss you when you’re not here, my love,” he murmured softly. “But I thought you’d like to know that it’s going to rain soon, and that you might want to come home before you get caught out there.” He began to prepare for the storm, keeping an eye on the clouds to make sure he could give Emma ample time to prepare.

“Okay, Brick Tamland,” Emma replied, and he could picture his smile in her mind. As always, she was referencing something, and he had no idea what it was. He couldn’t help the affectionate scoff he let out at the phone, even though she was nowhere near him.

“So I trust you’ll be home soon?” Killian asked, starting to bring his gardening tools into the shed. He made sure to lock the windows so they wouldn’t blow open if the wind was too strong before he locked the gardening shed. “Have your father pick up the next patrol with his truck? The bug doesn’t have all-wheel drive…”

“I’ll be home in a little bit. I’m just responding to a call about some downed trees from the last wind storm,” Emma said, and he could hear her rustling around in the forest. “Also, who told you the Bug doesn’t have all-wheel drive?” She sounded impressed and a feeling of pride blossomed in his chest.

“Doesn’t matter how I know,” he teased her, and the smile disappeared from his face just a little bit. “It’s not safe for you out there when the roads get too wet. I heard the Storybrooke sign still is recovering from your first adventure in the rain here…”

“Don’t worry about me, babe,” Emma assured him. “I’m gonna be just fine, and unless this tree is gonna get me wasted on its whiskey or you’re planning on putting a wolf in the middle of the road, I’m gonna be just fine and so is the sign. And I know that won’t stop you from worrying, but I promise you I wouldn’t—” Her next words were drowned out by a clap of thunder, and the skies opened up over Storybrooke.

Killian rushed into the house as the rain began to hit him. He heard Emma cursing on the other side, and he tried to suppress the anxiety that flared up in his gut. “Emma, love?” he asked, hanging his coat up on the coat hanger. “You all right?”

“Yeah,” she grumbled. “Just soaked to the bone. A little more warning next time, sailor.”

“Shall I draw you a warm bath as recompense, my love?” Killian asked her, already heading up the stairs just do that. He chuckled when she let out a delighted sigh at the notion. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he teased her.

“Hey, you don’t get to talk. Your hair isn’t dripping onto the Bug’s leather seats,” Emma shot back, but there wasn’t any bite behind it. Another clap of thunder and another muffled curse from Emma preceded the hum of the Bug’s ignition. “Good thing I got the windshield wipers changed,” she huffed.

“Aye,” he agreed, as he got to work setting up a bath for Emma. He paused when he heard her shiver. “Love?”

“I’m okay,” Emma answered. “Just cold. Even my coat is wet and I’m just waiting for the heating to kick in while I’m driving. I hate this weather, one minute you need to blast the AC and then it starts to rain and you need the heat like it’s the middle of winter.”

Killian hummed sympathetically and resolved to make her a cup of hot cocoa with cinnamon to go with her bath before she got home. “Well you’ll be home in less than two shakes, and I promise you it’s plenty warm at home.”

“How’s that bath coming?” Emma asked hopefully, sniffling as her nose began to run.

“It will be here ready and waiting for you,” Killian promised. “All I want for you is your heart’s desire. You know that.”

“I know,” Emma murmured, and he could see the affection glimmering behind her eyes. It warmed him more than any bath ever could, but he knew his Swan loved her comforts. And he would never begrudge her that.

Especially since she herself had shown him the wonder of what two people could get up to in a bathtub.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of them, not wanting to hang up on the other, but not feeling like they needed to continue talking. It was something they had just gotten accustomed to after knowing each other for so long. He could hear the patter of rain on the bug’s windshield in the background while he began filling up the tub with water.

“Can you put some bubbles in?” Emma asked shyly after a few minutes. “Into the bath I mean…the ones from the purple bottle.”

“The one that smells like lavender?” Killian checked, already looking for it when Emma hummed her approval. “As you wish, my love.”

“Are you taking care of yourself too?” Emma pressed. “You’re dry and warm?”

“I will be shortly,” he promised her gently.

“Killian…” Emma warned.

“Please let me do this for you?” he offered. “And then I’ll look after myself.”

“You deserve to be taken care of too,” Emma said simply. He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek closer to the phone. “And if you’re not taking proper care of yourself, I’m gonna take care of you as soon as I get home.”

God this woman.

“You do drive a hard bargain, lass. Just one of the many reasons I love you,” he murmured softly.

“I love you too,” Emma replied. “Don’t try to deflect me with your sweet talk though, mister. I expect to see a warm and dry pirate when I get home, got that?”

He decided to change into dryer, more comfortable clothes before going downstairs to make them dinner once her bath and cocoa were ready. He left a towel hanging on the coatrack by the front door, and the laundry basket just outside their bathroom.

The front door open and clothed, and he heard Emma’s muttered protestations about the weather before the echoes of her footsteps sounded up the stairs. He didn’t feel the need to greet her just yet.

Emma would come to him in her own time, as she always did.

Besides, he’d been married to her long enough to know not to get between her and a hot bubble bath.

The rain provided a soothing accompaniment to the gentle bubbling of the sauce in the pot. He hummed an old sea shanty to himself as he errantly stirred the pasta beside him.

It was nice, Killian reflected. To be in his home, making food for him and the woman he loved more than anything. To be in a space that was so quintessentially theirs together and separately. And quite frankly, both he and Emma had been lacking in nice for a good portion of their lives. To have it now made him thank his stars and thank Emma Swan.

Sorry, Emma Jones.

He felt a swell of affection for her that wasn’t so out of place. If he really counted, he probably went through this feeling at least seven times a day since the Final Battle.

And that was…nice.

Made infinitely nicer by his wife wrapping his arms around his waist, resting her cheek in between his shoulders. He could feel the damp press of her hair, but it wasn’t uncomfortable like the rain. No, her hair was warm and smelled of lavender.

“Hi,” she whispered, letting her eyes flutter shut. “Thanks for the bath and cocoa. They really hit the spot.”

“Anything for you,” Killian responded tenderly, still stirring the sauce. “There’s some time before dinner’s ready. Are you hungry?” He felt the nod against his back. “Well, far be it from me to keep you away from a meal, love.” She squeezed him a little bit tighter and snuggled in closer.

They stood like this for a few minutes—Killian working on dinner and Emma holding him from behind—until he finally asked with some amusement, “Just what are you doing back there, hmm?”

“I’m taking care of you,” she mumbled against his shirt.

“Am I warm and dry to your liking?” he asked, recalling her promise from their earlier conversation. She shook her head and nestled closer as if to rectify it. He didn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up within him, especially when he felt her smile against his skin. “You’re impossible,” he teased.

“And you love me for it,” she retorted happily.

“Aye,” he whispered. He turned the stove burners off and turned around to pull her against his chest. “May I have this dance, my love?”

Emma snapped her fingers to turn the radio on. “And now we’d like to play you a recording of ‘Moonlight Serenade’ by Glenn Miller and his orchestra…” the announcer crooned at them. As the clarinet began to play, and then the trumpet, Killian wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist, while his hand came to hold hers.

Only the sounds of the rain and the orchestra seemed to matter as husband and wife stood in the middle of their kitchen, swaying with one another. Her head came to rest on his chest, just underneath his chin.   

“You okay, babe? You’re kind of quiet today,” Emma murmured, not looking up at him still. She didn’t need to for him to know that she was just taking care of him, just as she always did.

So he simply told her, “I’m perfect.”

[scared-aquarius]

me being (very) brutally honest with the signs

Aries- You’re such a goddamn hothead all the goddamn time. Not everyone likes to be constantly doing something every second of every day. You get angry with people for the smallest and most trivial reasons but god forbid someone take a dig at you. You’re such a hypocrite and it’s annoying as fuck. You act like an edgy teenager that’s constantly throwing a tantrum. You also boss people around and expect everyone to just follow your lead and if they don’t, you get pissed at them for having a mind of their own. You seriously need to take a look at your life and stop seeing everything as a fucking challenge that’s rigged against you. My god, I get tired just being in your presence. 

Taurus- You’re a lazy fuck and way too materialistic and possessive. You literally have no desire to do anything because you love to sit on your ass. You take “treat yourself” to a whole new level and not in a healthy way whatsoever. It seems like every chance you get you cause arguments and then you contradict whatever the other person is saying just because you can’t look at anything from a different point of view. Even if you get to the point where you realize you’re in the wrong and the other person is right, you’ll just continue to argue for the sake of arguing and god forbid your ego take even the slightest blow. It’s irritating as shit like you really think you know best when in reality you’re just a stubborn bitch. What a bore.

Gemini- Look, I know you guys get a lot of flak. But take this into consideration...... it’s because most if not all of it is FUCKING TRUE. You have so many different personalities I don’t know which one is even real. You gossip 24/7 and flip-flop between who you talk to and who you talk about. You’re completely unreliable and unpredictable and also clingy as fuck. Seriously, I feel like I can’t get away from you. I just want to go to the bathroom, I don’t need to hear the story right now about how Sarah said that Dylan said that Kimberly found a sock in the dryer that wasn’t hers. Literally no one cares. Another thing that you do is once you get tired of someone, you just throw them away like garbage. (Also Trump is a gemini, and I know you guys can’t control that but like come on. Of course he’s a gemini.)

Cancer- You really need to stop being so whiny or I’m actually going to lose it. Everyone has problems so stop acting like such a victim all the goddamn time. You’re so moody all the time and you act like a small child that needs to have their diaper changed. You also cling onto people as soon as you meet them and cry if someone doesn’t answer your text within 5 fucking minutes. Don’t you have your own life to live? Oh wait, I forgot you spend every second in a dark room and refuse to come outside unless it’s to answer the door because you ordered shitty takeout. You consider changing your clothes adventurous and honestly it’s so boring. Introverted doesn’t even describe you, you’re more like a complete hermit (CRAB. HA!)

Leo- Hey leo, wow, are you actually reading this? I’m kind of shocked because I never thought you’d ever stop looking at yourself in the mirror. Seriously, you’re probably the most vain sign out of all of us. So much so that if someone criticizes you in even the smallest way, you get so offended and act like you’ve been shot in the chest. You think so highly of yourself, and while it’s great to have confidence, you take it to the next level, which is extreme arrogance. You love to have the conversation focused around you. You’re the type of friend that if someone is telling you about their problem or just their day in general, you’ll interrupt them and start talking about yourself and it’s DAMN ANNOYING. How do you still have friends?

Virgo- I’m gonna tell you right now, you’re not as perfect as you think you are. You’re so quick to critique other people that you write them off as not good enough before even getting to know them. You’re the type of person that would tell their friend that they were breathing too loudly. For fucks sake, you’re such an over analyzing pedant it makes me want to slap you in the face with my fucking asymmetrical hand. Your pessimism is damn near blinding, I probably wouldn’t want to hang around you for more than 10 minutes or you’d make me feel self conscious about how I fucking walk or some shit. You can’t take or make a joke. You’re skeptical about everything and you’re completely inflexible. You like to think of yourself as an intellectual but really you’re stuck up, narrow minded and someone I constantly find myself rolling my eyes at.

Libra- You are manipulative as shit. You’ll tell someone they look good without even looking up from your phone. You lie all the time and don’t really give a fuck if you hurt other people’s feelings because you really only look out for yourself. You’re also a huge fucking coward. When your friends need you to have their back and actually be there for them, you run and hide and say, “Oh sorry I just didn’t want to get involved!”. What a lame fucking excuse for ditching your friend in their time of need. You’re also extremely indecisive to the point where it’ll take you 3 hours just to choose where you want to go eat. It’s tiring as fuck. Just MAKE A CHOICE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. Have your own fucking opinion. You’re like a goddamn sheep.

Scorpio- Why the FUCK are you so aggressive for no fucking reason? You manipulate people just for the fun of it. You get jealous so easily and usually you don’t even have a reason to be jealous. You just are. It’s pathetic. You like to think that you’re so cool and mysterious but in reality people just see you as a moody and brooding asshole that no one really wants to bother getting to know. I mean, why would they? What’s the point? Every time someone even tries to get close to you, you completely brush them off and act like you don’t care about them because keeping your “mystifying” aura is soo important to you. And if you do let someone in, you treat them like they’re your possession and it’s creepy as hell. You obsess over them and you want to control them. God forbid they hang out with someone that isn’t you and then you resent them for no goddamn reason other than having a life of their own. Do me a favor scorpio and don’t talk to me.

Sagittarius- Honestly if a sag is reading this, you’re just straight up getting a taste of your own medicine. You’re tactless as shit and it makes me not want to be around you, ever. You’re inconsiderate of others and impatient with everyone. If someone isn’t moving up to your standards you will become agitated and aggressive and then you take it out on the person. You constantly need to be doing something else because your attention span lasts about 2 fucking seconds. You act like an 8 year old. You’re also really superficial. You don’t bother getting to know the deeper layers of a person because, like I said, you’re impatient and also just plain lazy. You take people for granted and are careless when handling the feelings of people closest to you. You’re also a really self-obsessed know-it-all. Go climb a fucking tree, sag.

Capricorn- Four words. Lighten. The fuck. Up. You are by far the most power-hungry of all the signs. You take everything so completely seriously that I don’t even know if you understand what “fun” even is. You always have to have two feet on the ground at all times and you can never ever be spontaneous and it’s so fucking dull. You’re conservative and disdainful nature can be so overbearing at times that even your friends need to get away from you. That is, if you have friends. You’re a complete pessimist so who knows if anyone can actually tolerate that. You constantly have to be the most successful person in a room, and you make sure you reach this level of success through abusive and controlling behavior towards the people around you. Your selfishness grosses me out.

Aquarius- I asked you what time it was. I didn’t ask you if I was afraid of time passing or the fact that it’s a manmade construct. For fucks sake, just shut the fuck up about this deep shit for once. I don’t want to contemplate how large the universe really is at fuckin 8:30 am on a Monday. You’re rebellious even when it doesn’t matter and honestly all it does is piss people off. You’re constantly trying to deviate from the norm that you make the same fucking mistakes that other people already made, but you don’t fucking learn from other people’s mistakes because you always have to go your own way. Maybe listen to other people for once? You’re the most detached sign out of all of them and you hurt people by acting aloof all the fucking time but you don’t care because you chalk it up to “this is who I am!!! I need my freedom!!!!”. You need to actually think about how your actions affect people you care about because if you don’t, you’re REALLY gonna end up alone and you won’t be able to do a damn thing about it. 

Pisces- You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time and get it through your head that you’re not always the damn victim. You don’t take responsibility for your actions and you always find a way to blame it on someone else because you’re NEVER in the wrong, are you? Poor little pisces. You’re not as innocent as you want everyone to believe. You’re constantly daydreaming and it becomes really annoying when I’m trying to talk to you and you just completely zone out because you love living in your little imaginary world. You’re the WORST at solving your own problems and conflicts because instead of dealing with them you just avoid it all together and end up leaving the mess for someone else to clean up. You’re really nosy- you love to get in other people’s business. But you don’t go to the person directly, you have to be sneaky about it and gather rumors from other people. You’re also very over-sensitive. Out of all the signs, you’re by far the most likely to respond to this post saying how this isn’t true and that I’m just a “big fat meany!!!” and then add a bunch of angry/crying emojis.

(disclaimer: Don’t worry, I don’t really hate your sign (unless you’re a  * * * * * * ... lmao). This was just for fun and I know it’s harsh. Don’t take it too personally. You’re an individual and ultimately you determine who you really are. Except for you, * * * * * * . Fuck you.) 

[theonceoverthinker]

Nag: A Knight Rook Story (2/2)

Part 1

Summary: Rogers is known for being one hell of a nag. How do wild spirits like Tilly and later Alice feel when he’s suddenly a very present part of their lives?

Time for part 2! Before I start again, I want to thank @killianmesmalls for giving me this prompt! Confession time: She originally asked me to examine how Tilly would view Roger’s nagging after the curse broke, and that’s what the goal of this part is!

Let’s get a move on!

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Tilly doesn’t have a problem with Roger’s nagging until the curse breaks, and when it happens, suddenly Alice very much does.

Alice isn’t the child that she used to be. Before Gothel cursed her father’s heart and separated them, she was a teenager, and an isolated one at that. Her bits of nuttiness had been accepted. But it’s been over a decade since then. She’s been out in the world. She should be more...normal.

She now wonders if she’s good enough for him. The curse has curbed his taste, made him civil, or at least more so than he was before.

He’s changed too. As Rogers, he’s less accepting of her bouts of silliness past a certain point. As they got closer, he started to nag more. Eat this. Bundle up. Read some more books. Tilly, little by little, listened, because he was her truest friend in an otherwise cold and manipulative world.

But now, Rogers is her father, and Alice finds the person who she is to be a terrifying embarrassment when faced with the reality of who Killian has become. Not every part of her. She’s not ashamed of her girlfriend, who Rogers has welcome into the family with warm and open arms. Other parts of herself though, she’s more afraid to show. They’re things that Rogers always nagged about. When they eat, she doesn’t ask for orange marmalade sandwiches. She has turkey instead, and salads at dinner. She doesn’t make the same observations that she usually would. She keeps her spaces clean.

Killian doesn’t address any of it until one day where he hears Alice styling her hair from the bathroom with a blow dryer. He knocks on the door.

“Alice, love,” Killian asks hesitantly. “Can we talk when you’re dressed?”

“Of course, Papa.” Alice finds herself apprehensive. It’s not an emotion she’s foreign to, but she’s seldom been apprehensive towards either her papa or Rogers.

It’s only when she knows she’s disappointed him.

Alice slowly gets ready, her mind running with anything and everything that she might have done to cause this disappointment. She’s been careful, but perhaps what she’s messed up is hidden in plain sight. She looks around. Her room is spotless. Her clothes aren’t wrinkled. She had even blow dried her hair so that she could style it in a neat way that she thinks he’d like.

It doesn’t makes sense. Normally, those four words are a comfort, but for now, they cause panic.

When she finally emerges, sporting a v-neck, unripped jeans, and flats, Killian is waiting for her at the kitchen table. He looks nervous, as if he’s searching for the words to convey his displeasure. Alice silently gulps.

She sits down. Killian gives her a weak smile.

“Hello, Papa,” she greets. “What did you want to talk about?”

Killian’s smile fades away and he bites his lip. There’s a pause before he speaks.

“Is...Is everything alright, Alice?” He asks, concern clear. “With you, that is?”

Alice longs to tell him that it’s not, that her fear of letting her father down is eating at her like a dog at a slab of peanut butter.

“Everything’s fine,” she lies. “Why do you ask?”

“I just worry you’re not happy.”

Alice sighs. This part is easy to say. This part is the truth.

“Of course I’m happy, Papa. We’re together again.” Killian smiles again and she mirrors it back.

“I know, Alice,” he says, his expressions much more relaxed. “I think it’s being with you, getting used to you again that’s made me all confused. You’ve grown and changed so much,” Killian comments, placing a reassuring hand on hers. “I hardly recognize you sometimes.”

She gestures her hands towards herself. “I know, right?” Regardless of her words and a level of genuine happiness at being here, being with her father once more, she feels hollow. She knows why too. Pesky half truths. She’d have to squash the longing for her old life, for her own self until it goes away. It’ll be hard, but she’d figure it out.

Killian clicks his tongue. “It seems that time only moves forward, and we all must adapt. You��d figure being over two hundred years old, I’d know that better than anyone, right?” Alice nods. She’s missed this so much. It’s worth it to give up her true self to be with him. She hopes so at least. “Well, it’s nearing noon. Shall we eat?”

“Yes, Papa.” She feels her stomach beg for food. In all her worries, she’s famished herself.

“We can have anything you want, though I suppose, given your new habits, we’ll have no more lunches of orange marmalade,” he teases.

In that moment, Alice’s breathing goes heavy, and her smile crumbles beneath her. She can’t even fake a smile, let alone a chortle at his remark.

Despite all her efforts beforehand, that one sentence from her father, that one bit of seeming disregard for her favorite meal destroys her resolve.

Perhaps it’s because it’s one of their oldest traditions. Perhaps it’s because Killian knows that Tilly loves it and on the worst of days, it was the only thing that could make her childhood self smile. No matter the reason, the spark of realization for the true nature of her sacrifice chokes her like a chicken bone in her throat.

Suddenly, that self that she longed to abandon so much becomes that much harder to.

No, she can’t do it, and that crushes her.

“Papa,” she blubbers, tears growing in her eyes.

“A-Alice,” Killian speaks softly, his hand lightly squeezing hers. “What’s wrong?”

By this point, Alice’s blubbers have grown into full on sobs. Killian scoots his chair closer to her and wraps his arms around her.

“It’s okay, Alice,” he coos. “It’s okay.”

It’s not though. She’s failed to live up to her father’s hopes for her, and she has no idea what will happen next.

“No, it’s not!” Alice insists.

“Please Alice,” Killian begs. “Tell me what’s the matter.” She, against her wishes, pulls back from their hug and looks into her father’s eyes. They’re equal parts bright and calming. All they want, and  by extension, all he wants is to make things better, to make her better.

But she’s not better. All she is is Alice.

“Papa, I can’t keep lying. Not to you, and not to myself! This isn’t who I am! I hate turkey and salads and boring conversation about the weather and spending half an hour getting my hair ready! I make metaphors about ants and I brush my hair maybe twice a week, and God, all I want is an orange marmalade sandwich right now! But you always nagged at me about that stuff during the curse, and like you said, so much time has passed. I know you want someone more normal, but that’s not me, and it never will be me, and I’m sorry.” She cries throughout the whole speech, especially as she sees that her father’s face has yet to change or react to her words. Alice has never been so scared in her life. All she wants is to go lay down and cry until her eyes run dry.

She closes her eyes to let a few more tears emerge, and when she’s opened her eyes, finally, her father’s expression has changed.

Killian’s smiling. He’s smiling and a low chuckle is rising. He fans his hand through his hair.

Alice couldn’t be more confused if she tried. Before she can voice the million questions, Killian speaks.

“Oh, Thank God,” he sighs, still letting loose that low chuckle. Alice is still as confused as before, but this time, Killian is here to elaborate. He released a cough that brings his bout of blight to an end. “Alice, that’s why I wanted to talk to you. All of these changes, they just weren’t you, or at least who I thought you were. I was afraid you’d grown beyond the girl I knew you as.Time has passed, and nothing, not that witch’s curse nor the darkness’ hold could’ve hurt more than knowing that my sunny girl had lost all those quirks that make her who she is, and I’m glad they’re all still here within her.” Alice beams. Tears come forward and dampen her cheeks, but this time, they’re happy tears. “I don’t want a daughter who’s too preoccupied with normal to talk to me about everything wrong with bobbleheads.” Now Alice is the one chuckling. She’s relieved beyond words. She still has her hero. She still has her knight, and all he desires her to be is herself.

“So I don’t have to try to be a perfect daughter?”

Killian shakes his head. “You’re already my perfect daughter.” Suddenly, Alice stomach rumbles, and Killian’s chuckle returns. “Well, with one flaw, and one easily rectified: You’re missing a marmalade sandwich in your hands.”

Alice smirks. “And would my Papa be willing to make me one?” Her tone is wild. He grins as she asks her question.

“As luck would have it, I have an unopened jar in our pantry. How about we stay in today, get in our PJ’s, and just relax? Sandwiches and chess sound nice?” Alice doesn’t answer. She instead releases a shriek of relief, a very Alice shriek, and embraces her father. They hug each other tightly, and Alice promises herself that they’ll never let themselves be separated again, not physically nor emotionally. “I love you, Alice,” Killian whispers. “Every single part of you.”

“I love you too, Papa.”

Finally, they were truly and completely together.

[skullssales]

Gothic & Horror Themed Clothing! | Avelina De Moray

Today i’ve a bit haul/evaluation video for you, on a company that contacted me referred to as malefic apparel. So there is full disclosure, i will with yes this can be a backed video as they were variety adequate to send me a variety of their merch for me to try out and do an honest evaluation, so let’s ! Good day Avelina De Moray here, welcome back to my channel i’m hoping you all are doing good i will by means of saying that this video was once quite difficult for me to movie and that had nothing to do with the merchandise it used to be that I actually could not to find each piece that they gave me.

I’ve been sporting so lots of them I needed to go through like six washing basket after which some the place in the dryer or in the outdoor on the clothesline. And the whole lot is black!! You know how difficult it is to find that one single object, when the whole thing is black!!!!!! Anyway first world issues correct!!! I labored through it, I’ve obtained the whole lot here and let’s start with what i am wearing!! That is by means of some distance my favorite. Now if you comply with me on instagram (which you must in the event you do not – head on over there!) you might have seen many posts of me carrying this! I lived in it when I was in the usa, it is so cozy. I’m going to movie some pictures in my wardrobe so you guys can see the whole lot cuz you cannot rather get a just right proposal of it once I’m sitting down and sporting it and although I simply keep objects up it it can be it’s simply higher this way trust me so what i love about that is that it can be loose so I got so small on everything so that you can perhaps choose your sizings should you desired to head and purchase anything from them and what i like about that is the unfastened fit it’s just a little open up the aspect so put on a lovable bra in case you recognize you flush any individual and as you realize I used to be in the usa twice final year in April and September and both of those trips were for IVF when you did not comprehend i’ll be doing a video that quickly but my factor was back to the IVF all of the medicine made me very bloated so this used to be a lovely exhibit to wear once I didn’t want dermis tonight clothing and a number of my wardrobe like the pants i am sporting now can you see these infants intellect similar to forty five levels up anyway when I used to be going through that feeling very bloated I truthfully seemed 4 months pregnant and that i wasn’t this shirt used to be outstanding it’s all cotton so it is very it’s a very mild weight and the print will just appear at that without doubt it can be a play on Jack Daniels it appears equivalent sufficient to be recognizable that it can be looking to be just like that but one of a kind sufficient that I find it irresistible so i admire matters like that it has some lace up element here which i love I’ve never pulled that tight and a few little grips up here I more commonly received this like a hundred instances and it is washed fairly well so not one of the prints have come off and i consider that is main for you guys to grasp if i’ll truthfully overview something and endorse it to you then I need to love it myself so we would say taking a web page out of Jeffrey stars guide it’s Evelina de maurienne entrance and this one obviously is okay so out of everything that they sent me I most likely have some favorites my next favorite is this Frankenstein tank it is just probably the most superb match it is actually similar to the tanks that I promote in my retailer possibly they are utilizing the identical in influence sure but again very lightweight and have got to have lycra in it given that it’s obtained somewhat bit of a stretch this is very becoming this isn’t one you need to wear if you are feeling a little bloated otherwise you just don’t love matters that have a slimline match considering the cock surely goes in like so i am small I would often get away with a medium simply depends how i am feeling so simply hold in intellect if you’re watching at their tanks they they’re very distinct they are going to say on their internet site I consider like this one is a loose match and this one is like turtle physique con tight i love that the tag is printed so you’ve got acquired malefic it is an extraordinarily stupid crimson so it can be as a rule not going to come up seeing that my digicam said to the black is black however what i like about that’s none of those gadgets have that annoying tag that scratches the back of your neck so I observed this appears relatively cute pairing it with tights Oh denims after which a leather jacket and a few jewellery to decorate it can be a quite easy piece but it says lots in its simplicity you just see this tremendous Frankenstein bones on the front of the shirt and you already know instantly people oh yeah cool yeah i’m into horror stuff i admire that that’s cool oh my god i’m actually loss of life there’s a little enthusiasts going proper now considering the fact that there’s no manner I was once going to be in a position to movie this without feeling some air on my body subsequent up i will show you these lovable ass little clothes now I think they’re listed as attire on their website however they may be very brief and they smelt additionally very small so again everything I bought set used to be small but this one as you’ll see it fits but it seems like an extra small so i’d surely sighs up the reduce is super lovely I have no idea in case you name these a crop high kind of neck and with a bit of luck you can see that there we go it is like got a matte black print of black number one so yeah of direction being a style o-poor ban or goth mostly that simply dies they have got like quantity one who’s not going to like the backside of the dress sort of blows out in a lovely means so at this one I surely must put on tights beneath it to duvet the backside that’s satisfactory I just desire I had a long gone up a measurement in this one to make it just a bit extra relaxed I think they do have particularly a large variety of plus-dimension as good so if you’re watching at these things and like woman it’s fascinated by tiny humans individually i’m now not tiny i am no i do not wish to go into physique sizes seeing that every person is extraordinary and that is exceptional however i love that they cater for bigger men and women and i like that they cater for smaller people so this subsequent one says which and the best way that which is printed is really intelligent so you’ve got got overwhelmed broomsticks to make the W a candle a little bit dagger which possibly for you bloodletting or some kind of ceremony you’ve got bought a crescent moon and of direction a little bit cat I idea that used to be fairly lovely that one is exactly the identical cut it’s a earlier person who I confirmed you the subsequent one is this tank I chosen this one i like the black white and crimson theme so you have got acquired rest Elian warts and then a bit coffin so it can be another tank fairly particularly tight tremendous comfy on same because the Frankenstein one i love how that looks it’s so rock and roll under a leather-based jacket that you could just jazz it up quite quite simply ok subsequent up is a v-neck graphic workforce they may be sizings are very one-of-a-kind from from each and every item so this one is a small however i would say that that’s a relaxed fit it’s now not like a tight child doll style t-shirt it can be a comfy wearable no longer sticking to your body type shirt so i’d say that is cotton it doesn’t suppose as stretchy as the tank tops so if you are simply having a extra casual day that looks beautiful once more I hit the whole lot photograph tees and love the jackets are just made to head collectively so i pair most of picture tees with some sort of leather-based accent you are not able to relatively go improper while you try this a different thing that this appears relatively great with is skinny like black denims my god then I pile all of it together they definitely despatched me plenty of stuff so this next one is just a little really evil looking we’ve received blessed other destroyers and that i put a pentagram there why the culty what satanic watching I like it now this one could be very one-of-a-kind to assert the Frankenstein tank as you’ll discover that’s a small it can be like twice this measurement so it is a free feet one i’ll do a little little bit of study and notice if they name them another way in case you were going to purchase this one after which say the Frankenstein one and so they had been both listed as tanks there can be a large discrepancy in size but i am certain they reside record this as i am it is anything else I cannot find the word but i’ll allow you to understand once more that is really comfy mostly you do not need fairly quite rather tight apparel like a number of the time generally I like to show the femininity in a section by way of carrying relatively tight pants and then go all unfastened within the belly subject oh i will match i will be able to sit down down and consume and no longer fear about my little Pudge sticking out yes all of us have clutches you like go you’re Pudge is tiny that’s still pod i will get a bunch of prime of a punch if I particularly really opt for out when you consider that i really like my food so ships like these are a ought to to duvet that out if you wish to dress it up somewhat more similar to pop some heels on excellent excessive buried so you then simply instantly it look a little bit so this subsequent one is fairly unique to all the other matters that they set me and i’ve noticeable Christiana one and simplest who you’ll have heard me recently converse about on Instagram that’s an extra woman that i am going to do a collaboration with she remains to be this so good and it can be a different one of the vital looser ones like the final one who I just confirmed you and it is bought some pleasant path of element on the facet but she began quite well by means of tucking into like just a little I believe it used to be a pleated miniskirt i’ll show you i will do the identical thing i’m like a dam that looks relatively fine so that you may put on it as he’s or that you can totally feminized it and make the outfit pop just a little more this one has this beautiful lace detail around the color as good which is very satisfactory and the corset detailing down the side is black and white stripe i have been getting plenty of requests to do ASMR movies can you guys competing beneath excellent like that I suppose I convey interesting someone mentioned they went out like you understand listening to me contact my bags it would be exciting subsequent up is what i will name it tunic I express regret prematurely if that’s no longer what the fuck that is so it is like a long variety of Lucy dress so it type of appears like a tank top but it surely maintains going cue the suitable track so this one certainly has accomplished the backside by means of Chopin i’m hoping i am announcing that thoroughly the prints on that one caught my eye and that i can even exhibit you ways about it I hate how that lady fundamental he like he began off he is lying this underneath fairly like minor E and Dewey and then he is gonna fucking comfortable like who goes preppie when persons die he fucked it up yeah rattling you chirpin subsequent up is a nother chanak this one’s print is somewhat more difficult to see her plates popping out like you recognize Nosferatu is continually in kind of shutters anyway however um that you could inform that it can be him but i have situation studying the purple I think it’s goes to all of their red that they are no longer placing the white underneath it’s just read on grey so of direction it’ll be a little tougher to read so that says Nosferatu yeah I can’t genuinely learn that it appears cool it’s excellent a gothic crimson font cuing the proper music subsequent up is one among my favorite objects i haven’t stated this about the whole thing but there’s about four items that relatively stand out to me and that is one among them so it is the satisfactory chirality and has a beautiful print of the goddess on the back and what i love about this hoodie is it’s reduce so I’ve continually desired a slim line longer than traditional hoodie that you can put your palms into and just be tremendous secure but in addition seem very feminine while so I discovered i don’t quite put on hoodies perhaps I did back when I was sixteen or 17 but I very quickly out birth oh look at that kind and that i wasn’t until I put this one on where i’m like hello you recognize what relatively like how that appear what I additionally really like is that the sleeves are super long so in general they discontinue right here they usually’ve bought the little ribbed i am gonna say arm : I don’t know what that is called at this sleeve cap good you guys recognize what i am talking about however this one it comes down low after which the cuff is like twice so long as typical it is a particularly fine reduce to the market being in wintry weather right now this could be superb for you guys for everybody else within the rest of the world that is struggling summer season proper now just maintain it in your wish list for winter which is form of sin coming near we’re no longer that a ways away from an extra lovable thing valued at citing is their garb tags appear at that it can be a name of the deceased tag I think that was once a relatively nice contact defiant til demise so that’s their slogan and that i really loved the font of the used very much jogs my memory of the person who Dracula is written in in the Bram Stoker novel an extraordinarily giant thanks to Jacob and Shelley for achieving out to me to do this collaboration thanks for being sufferer with me by means of final yr and the IVF and i know you will have waited fairly a while assembly at this video on so hope you revel in it as so much as I’ve loved wearing your garb and i hope that my viewers i am hoping that you simply guys like this manufacturer as well go and check them out I even have a discount code that i can offer you as well so the main points are in the description below so if you will go to their website and purchase something be certain you pop in that reduction code and you should use that on your order very well that is it from me guys today i hope you loved this video let me be aware of which was let me know which used to be your favorite piece within the feedback beneath please subscribe if you haven’t already let’s aid carry this channel to the rest of the arena that sounded really bizarre in there yeah howdy simply subscribe hit the bell and i’ll see you within the subsequent video what’s the lead

Source: https://skullssales.com/

[robertshugartca]

Unlike Sephora’s vast collection of best-selling makeup...

Unlike Sephora’s vast collection of best-selling makeup and skincare products , hair products are a little bit trickier to shop for. We can’t simply turn our forearm into a palette of swatched shampoos or rub 50 different hair oils over every square inch of our hands like we can lipsticks or face creams . So every time we decide to bite the bullet and turn over our hard-earned cash in exchange for a boatload of new hair formulas, it’s always a bit of a toss-up whether or not we’ll actually love what we ultimately cherry-picked from the retailer’s stock-stuffed shelves.

That said, there is a strategic way to cheat the system, or at the very least, improve our odds of loving (not simply putting up with) a selection of new hair picks—perusing the best-sellers list. Sephora shoppers are a passionate crowd, so whenever we see that a product with thousands of loves, ratings, and filled-out stars has ranked top tier for number of items sold, we’re basically sold right off the bat. So you don’t even have to bother to do the research and work yourself, we went ahead and found the two best-selling hair products from every single category your strands and styling MO desire. Keep scrolling for our holy-grail list of the 22 best-selling hair products Sephora customers are obsessed with spending their money on.

Olaplex's Hair Perfector No. 3 ($28) is a cult-loved must-have for anyone who routinely color-treats their hair. When the brand debuted a complimentary shampoo and conditioner last year, pandemonium (and healthier hair everywhere) basically ensued. It’s formulated without the icky things like sulfates and parabens and boasts a concentrated treatment profile that helps reduce and prevent breakage. A best-selling cleansing option for every single hair type, Sephora shoppers go agog for this unique detoxifying blend of charcoal and coconut oil which helps exfoliate, soothe, and re-balance an irritated or flake-prone scalp. (This is an especially great pick to nab in preparation for a sweaty, sun-soaked summer!) Not surprisingly, this conditioning partner in crime to the brand’s beloved shampoo wins the Sephora spender’s gold medal for all-time best conditioner.  The main reason we love and use conditioner is to ensure our strands stay ultra-shiny and dehydrated post-shampooing. And according to Sephora sales, this moisturizing hair conditioner from Alterna is the very best at making all hair types look revitalized after a wash. It’s infused with luxe caviar in addition to other hair-healthy nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, proteins, and minerals A, C, and D.  Yep, Sephora shoppers have good taste because this hair-perfecting dry shampoo is a holy-grail formula in the eyes of beauty editors too. Regardless of whether you have thick, medium, or fine texture, it effortlessly sops up excess oil and leaves hair clean, bouncy, and refreshed.  We love this dry shampoo for its signature Drybar scent (think notes of jasmine, Madagascar vanilla, and sandalwood), but it’s also one of the best for making our hair look like it’s on day two or three, not four or five.  If you have curly hair and are looking for a top-notch zero-lather co-wash, you’ve officially met your new great-hair-day BFF. This original formula from DevaCurl blesses parched strands with a needed surge of moisture without weighing down curls or natural volume. Plus, it yields an insane amount of shine.  The superfood roster of ingredients in this co-wash instantly helps detangle hair curly, natural hair while also imparting shine and moisture. Oh, and if you happen to color your hair, it will help extend your time in between appointments as it will never strip away your color.  This holy-grail leave-in conditioner from Ouai is the ultimate multitasking answer to pretty much every kind of hair woe. From thermal protection to frizz control to shine and conditioning, just a few spritzes of this formula on damp hair works wonders.  It’s safe to say Sephora customers go wild for Briogeo, and since the brand is also a personal favorite of ours, we definitely don’t blame them. This milk-infused concoction saves starved strands before you air or blow dry and ensures hair is left soft, shiny, smooth, and protected from potential environmental threats like pollution or sun exposure.  So here’s a fun fact, the top three best-selling hairsprays at Sephora are all from Living Proof. (This one is closely followed by the brand's Control Hairspray $26 and then the Perfect Hair Day Body Builder $29—my personal favorite.) In second (non–Living Proof) place? This deliciously scented best seller from Moroccanoil. It’s strategically infused with the brand’s signature hero ingredient, argan oil, so hair not only stays in place but is also gifted with a veil of stunning shine.  This is probably the most iconic hair oil on the market, and we doubt any hair serum or oil will ever dethrone it. It’s great for all hair types, can be used on dry or damp hair alike, and even helps decrease blow-dry time. And, obviously, it makes your hair shine like a beacon.   This multi-tasking organic argan oil from Josie Maran is the ultimate antidote for thirsty, split strands. That said, you can also use it on your face, cuticles, elbows, or really anywhere that needs a little TLC.  Featuring Living Proof’s signature healthy hair molecule (aka OFPMA, which increases the spreadability on the hair), this easy-to-use styler primes either dry or damp hair for styling, hold, and superior manageability. We especially love to work it through our damp strands before a blowout.  I can say from personal experience that this brand new shimmering mist from Briogeo is well-worth the hype. I used it during Coachella and it not only kept my strands hydrated, soft, and bouncy but also dusted with a hint of shimmer and sheen that was super photogenic and flattering. (I sprayed myself with the stuff from head to toe!)  Designed to be used roughly once per week (give or take how often you wash your hair), this intense treatment rejuvenates hair with needed moisture while also arming weak and brittle strands with an extra dose of fortification and strength. Hair will look hydrated, color will be vibrant, and the potential for future damage will be decreased. Calling all blondes, this best-selling hair mask is for you! We don’t see purple formulas make the best-seller lists often just because they’re often drying and all-around not great, but this new debut from Kérastase has us eating our words. This mask is an investment at $59, but the expert blend of color-correcting ultra-violet neutralizers, hyaluronic acid, and antioxidant-rich edelweiss flower is well worth your money.  Brand new from The Ordinary, this scalp-reviving treatment is a savvy solution for anyone with dryness, flakes, or irritation at the scalp. The concentrated formulation works well for all skin types and has a unique blend of ingredients to target stem cells (for increased hair density) while also improving blood flow and circulation for overall healthier hair.  This salt scrub from Christophe Robin has had a cult following for years, and it’s still a best-selling favorite among Sephora shoppers. In addition to its soothing properties (it basically feels like a tall drink of water for your head), it also helps detoxify and purify the hair follicles so hair can grow in fast, strong, and ultra-healthy. If you could ensure your strands a perfect hair day for the rest of eternity would you spend upward of $500? Apparently, a number of Sephora shoppers would. In fact, this epic styling bundle from Dyson is so popular, it’s almost always out of stock. Highlights include no extreme heat damage, inclusivity for all hair types and textures, and endless options for styling and finish including curls, waves, or impeccably smooth volume.  GHD is known within the industry as one of the very best brands where styling tools are concerned and this flat iron is a favorite among Sephora customers and celebrity stylists alike. It features a ground-breaking technology that actually predicts your hair’s needs to help your flat iron adapt its temperature for all of your strands’ styling needs. You’ll end up with less breakage but more shine and color protection.  Once again, Sephora shoppers prove they value quality, even if it costs them a pretty penny. This hair dryer is the best of the best, and in addition to being lightweight, it also features a high-speed digital motor for significantly faster dry time and smart heat control to aid both shine and styling protection.  Next up, the 22 best-selling makeup products at Sephora right now.

source https://gothify1.tumblr.com/post/184264877695

[gothify1]

Unlike Sephora's vast collection of best-selling makeup and skincare products , hair products are a little bit trickier to shop for. We can't simply turn our forearm into a palette of swatched shampoos or rub 50 different hair oils over every square inch of our hands like we can lipsticks or face creams . So every time we decide to bite the bullet and turn over our hard-earned cash in exchange for a boatload of new hair formulas, it's always a bit of a toss-up whether or not we'll actually love what we ultimately cherry-picked from the retailer's stock-stuffed shelves. That said, there is a strategic way to cheat the system, or at the very least, improve our odds of loving (not simply putting up with) a selection of new hair picks—perusing the best-sellers list. Sephora shoppers are a passionate crowd, so whenever we see that a product with thousands of loves, ratings, and filled-out stars has ranked top tier for number of items sold, we're basically sold right off the bat. So you don't even have to bother to do the research and work yourself, we went ahead and found the two best-selling hair products from every single category your strands and styling MO desire. Keep scrolling for our holy-grail list of the 22 best-selling hair products Sephora customers are obsessed with spending their money on. Olaplex's Hair Perfector No. 3 ($28) is a cult-loved must-have for anyone who routinely color-treats their hair. When the brand debuted a complimentary shampoo and conditioner last year, pandemonium (and healthier hair everywhere) basically ensued. It's formulated without the icky things like sulfates and parabens and boasts a concentrated treatment profile that helps reduce and prevent breakage. A best-selling cleansing option for every single hair type, Sephora shoppers go agog for this unique detoxifying blend of charcoal and coconut oil which helps exfoliate, soothe, and re-balance an irritated or flake-prone scalp. (This is an especially great pick to nab in preparation for a sweaty, sun-soaked summer!) Not surprisingly, this conditioning partner in crime to the brand's beloved shampoo wins the Sephora spender's gold medal for all-time best conditioner.  The main reason we love and use conditioner is to ensure our strands stay ultra-shiny and dehydrated post-shampooing. And according to Sephora sales, this moisturizing hair conditioner from Alterna is the very best at making all hair types look revitalized after a wash. It's infused with luxe caviar in addition to other hair-healthy nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, proteins, and minerals A, C, and D.  Yep, Sephora shoppers have good taste because this hair-perfecting dry shampoo is a holy-grail formula in the eyes of beauty editors too. Regardless of whether you have thick, medium, or fine texture, it effortlessly sops up excess oil and leaves hair clean, bouncy, and refreshed.  We love this dry shampoo for its signature Drybar scent (think notes of jasmine, Madagascar vanilla, and sandalwood), but it's also one of the best for making our hair look like it's on day two or three, not four or five.  If you have curly hair and are looking for a top-notch zero-lather co-wash, you've officially met your new great-hair-day BFF. This original formula from DevaCurl blesses parched strands with a needed surge of moisture without weighing down curls or natural volume. Plus, it yields an insane amount of shine.  The superfood roster of ingredients in this co-wash instantly helps detangle hair curly, natural hair while also imparting shine and moisture. Oh, and if you happen to color your hair, it will help extend your time in between appointments as it will never strip away your color.  This holy-grail leave-in conditioner from Ouai is the ultimate multitasking answer to pretty much every kind of hair woe. From thermal protection to frizz control to shine and conditioning, just a few spritzes of this formula on damp hair works wonders.  It's safe to say Sephora customers go wild for Briogeo, and since the brand is also a personal favorite of ours, we definitely don't blame them. This milk-infused concoction saves starved strands before you air or blow dry and ensures hair is left soft, shiny, smooth, and protected from potential environmental threats like pollution or sun exposure.  So here's a fun fact, the top three best-selling hairsprays at Sephora are all from Living Proof. (This one is closely followed by the brand's Control Hairspray $26 and then the Perfect Hair Day Body Builder $29—my personal favorite.) In second (non–Living Proof) place? This deliciously scented best seller from Moroccanoil. It's strategically infused with the brand's signature hero ingredient, argan oil, so hair not only stays in place but is also gifted with a veil of stunning shine.  This is probably the most iconic hair oil on the market, and we doubt any hair serum or oil will ever dethrone it. It's great for all hair types, can be used on dry or damp hair alike, and even helps decrease blow-dry time. And, obviously, it makes your hair shine like a beacon.   This multi-tasking organic argan oil from Josie Maran is the ultimate antidote for thirsty, split strands. That said, you can also use it on your face, cuticles, elbows, or really anywhere that needs a little TLC.  Featuring Living Proof's signature healthy hair molecule (aka OFPMA, which increases the spreadability on the hair), this easy-to-use styler primes either dry or damp hair for styling, hold, and superior manageability. We especially love to work it through our damp strands before a blowout.  I can say from personal experience that this brand new shimmering mist from Briogeo is well-worth the hype. I used it during Coachella and it not only kept my strands hydrated, soft, and bouncy but also dusted with a hint of shimmer and sheen that was super photogenic and flattering. (I sprayed myself with the stuff from head to toe!)  Designed to be used roughly once per week (give or take how often you wash your hair), this intense treatment rejuvenates hair with needed moisture while also arming weak and brittle strands with an extra dose of fortification and strength. Hair will look hydrated, color will be vibrant, and the potential for future damage will be decreased. Calling all blondes, this best-selling hair mask is for you! We don't see purple formulas make the best-seller lists often just because they're often drying and all-around not great, but this new debut from Kérastase has us eating our words. This mask is an investment at $59, but the expert blend of color-correcting ultra-violet neutralizers, hyaluronic acid, and antioxidant-rich edelweiss flower is well worth your money.  Brand new from The Ordinary, this scalp-reviving treatment is a savvy solution for anyone with dryness, flakes, or irritation at the scalp. The concentrated formulation works well for all skin types and has a unique blend of ingredients to target stem cells (for increased hair density) while also improving blood flow and circulation for overall healthier hair.  This salt scrub from Christophe Robin has had a cult following for years, and it's still a best-selling favorite among Sephora shoppers. In addition to its soothing properties (it basically feels like a tall drink of water for your head), it also helps detoxify and purify the hair follicles so hair can grow in fast, strong, and ultra-healthy. If you could ensure your strands a perfect hair day for the rest of eternity would you spend upward of $500? Apparently, a number of Sephora shoppers would. In fact, this epic styling bundle from Dyson is so popular, it's almost always out of stock. Highlights include no extreme heat damage, inclusivity for all hair types and textures, and endless options for styling and finish including curls, waves, or impeccably smooth volume.  GHD is known within the industry as one of the very best brands where styling tools are concerned and this flat iron is a favorite among Sephora customers and celebrity stylists alike. It features a ground-breaking technology that actually predicts your hair's needs to help your flat iron adapt its temperature for all of your strands' styling needs. You'll end up with less breakage but more shine and color protection.  Once again, Sephora shoppers prove they value quality, even if it costs them a pretty penny. This hair dryer is the best of the best, and in addition to being lightweight, it also features a high-speed digital motor for significantly faster dry time and smart heat control to aid both shine and styling protection.  Next up, the 22 best-selling makeup products at Sephora right now.

[erraticfairy]

People with Bipolar Disorder Share How They Started Treatment—and Why They Stick with It

Bipolar disorder is highly treatable, and yet so many people don’t seek treatment. Or if they do seek help, they later stop taking their meds or stop attending their therapy sessions. Or both. And then their bipolar blows up. Their mania spikes. Their depression sinks even deeper.

Sticking to treatment is not easy. Medication has side effects. Therapy takes work. The illness itself can be stubborn, exhausting, confusing.

It can all feel so frustrating.

We wanted to know what led some individuals to stick to their initial treatment — and why they’ve stayed dedicated ever since. Of course, life is not linear, and the people we interviewed haven’t had linear journeys either. Because bipolar disorder is complex. Their stories will no doubt inspire you, and remind you that you are not alone, and you can get better — even if your journey’s been jagged, too, even if it doesn’t feel like that right now.

How I Started Treatment

Therese Borchard, a writer and senior editor at HealthCentral.com, initially sought treatment for what she thought was depression, because she wanted to be emotionally available to her son. Her first few doctors treated her for depression, which only exacerbated her bipolar symptoms. She was finally correctly diagnosed at Johns Hopkins after her husband insisted she try a teaching hospital.

Borchard continued with her treatment because she was “completely desperate and in so much pain. I never ever wanted to return to that place again so I followed doctor’s orders even when I didn’t want to.” For instance, she wasn’t happy about taking lithium and having regular blood tests. Her husband also was a huge support, and reminded her “what the consequences of stopping could be.”

Elaina J. Martin, author of There Comes a Light: A Memoir of Mental Illness, was diagnosed with bipolar I after a suicide attempt. She moved from California to Oklahoma City to live with her parents so she could focus on her treatment. Which she kept up with because she wanted “to get off that rollercoaster.”

When Tosha Maaks’s husband mentioned that sometimes it feels like she’s two different people when she’s happy, and when she’s “in a mood,” she realized she needed help. “When I was ‘in a mood,’ I could slam doors off hinges or break plates against the wall just to hear them break.”

Maaks, a mom of four teenage boys, and frequent contributor to Psych Central, never liked the person she was when she wasn’t well. “The depression and mania never felt good for me, and knowing that I could somehow live a better life in treatment was enough for me to want to have a better life.”

She also initially stuck with treatment because she didn’t want to lose her family. However, it was tough for her to remember to take her medication daily (she also has ADHD), which meant she often skipped it. “Many times, I would claim they were not effective, and it wasn’t that the meds were not effective as my compliance with the meds was not effective.”

Then Maaks started working with a new doctor, and her husband became her reminder system. “He can ask me, ‘Have you taken your meds today?’ and I can’t get mad because he has earned that right as my support system.”

Karla Dougherty, author of Less Than Crazy: Living Fully With Bipolar II, went to therapy at first for her depression and anxiety. It took 40 years for her to get the right diagnosis. When she finally got it, she was relieved to have a name for her illness. “… I could get help, and peace.”

Writer and speaker Gabe Howard had no clue he was sick. A woman he was casually dating took him to the ER because she sensed something was wrong, and when she asked him if he’d been having suicidal thoughts, he said yes. Howard was positive the doctor “would laugh us out of the building,” because he clearly wasn’t ill. After he was moved to the psych ward, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Howard kept up with treatment because he believed his diagnosis. When he started researching and reading stories written by people with bipolar disorder, he saw himself in many of them.

He also read about and saw what happened to people who’d quit their treatment — everything from foolish behavior (“They felt like they were amazing, but they were just saying nonsense confidently. It was bizarre and sad”) to divorce (“The marriages with children where the hardest”) to death. “The worst thing I ever saw was the suicide of someone who was in a group I moderated. I went to the funeral and it was just so sad. They had been refusing meds for months.”

“Even when I didn’t like the treatment, moving forward was still better than what I heard happened to people who decided to play doctor,” Howard said.

Why I Stay Dedicated Today

Borchard, author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes, remains dedicated to her treatment because it’s a life-saver. Three years ago, she tried to go off her medication. “[I]t was a disaster. I was almost hospitalized again. I was suicidal for several months and the pain was so acute…. Even when I don’t think the medications are all that effective, I remind myself that they are certainly doing something because without them I had trouble functioning.”

Martin, who pens Being Beautifully Bipolar, remains dedicated because she believes in what bipolar disorder is: a chronic illness. Dougherty does, too: “I don’t think about it. I just take my medication and treat it as any other chronic condition.”

Another thing that keeps Martin dedicated is the cemetery. “When I see [cemeteries], I realize how close I was to being in a hole somewhere, which leads me to remember how much it would hurt people that I love.”

It took Maaks over a decade “to stick to treatment in the correct way and fully the way I should have, even though I tried to claim I was doing all I could.” She didn’t start learning about bipolar disorder until four years ago. “When I really started to figure out what was going on with me, then I started to really have better success with my recovery.”

The number one thing that keeps Maaks so diligent about her treatment today is her loved ones: “I know that I have to take care of myself because the people in my life — my husband, my kids, my in-laws, and my friends—are in my life because they get to choose to be in my life.” She doesn’t want to wake up one day and her loved ones have made a different choice.

“It’s much easier to be motivated today because my life is so incredible,” said Howard, who co-hosts The Psych Central Show podcast and A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, and A Podcast. “I have a wife, house, dog, friends, and a giant TV. I have a career I love. I don’t want to lose all of that. I saw what my life was like before treatment and I see what it is now. It would be crazy to stop my medication and risk going backward.”  

What About Challenges?

One of the biggest challenges for Borchard in maintaining her treatment is her desire to be normal. “I want to ‘be like everyone else.’” “But when you think about it, there really is no normal. It’s a setting on the dryer. I don’t like having to check in with my doctor so regularly, but she has saved my life and keeps me on the right track. When I stopped seeing her, and thought I knew the answers, I landed in chaos.”

Borchard navigates the challenges one step at a time. On the really hard days, she takes it 15 minutes at a time. “Breaking down everything—whether it be work, or a bad day with depression—makes it manageable.”

For Dougherty sometimes it feels like her medication subdues her creativity, and sometimes she misses her hypomania. This is when she talks to her husband, friends and psychiatrist, who help her stay the course. She also reminds herself that in reality she’s accomplished more on her medications than without them.

At first, Howard missed the mania, too. “[B]ut then I realized being happy daily beat alternating between depressed, moderate, and excitable.”

He’s also wanted to quit his meds before because of side effects, such as sexual side effects, feeling flat, blurred vision, dizziness and chronic fatigue. “Thankfully, I was able to work all of these out and have as few symptoms as possible.”

Howard encouraged readers to “Keep moving forward, keep working with your doctors, and continue to have hope.”

Hope really is vital. “[T]he most important thing to getting better is to have hope,” Borchard said. “Never ever lose hope. As long as you have hope, your life will get better.”

Bipolar disorder is a big illness that takes time to resolve, Howard said. “So don’t beat yourself up if you are still fighting. Please don’t give up. It’s OK to lose a battle; please don’t lose the war.”

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2MocXUB via theshiningmind.com

[psychotherapyconsultants]

People with Bipolar Disorder Share How They Started Treatment—and Why They Stick with It

Bipolar disorder is highly treatable, and yet so many people don’t seek treatment. Or if they do seek help, they later stop taking their meds or stop attending their therapy sessions. Or both. And then their bipolar blows up. Their mania spikes. Their depression sinks even deeper.

Sticking to treatment is not easy. Medication has side effects. Therapy takes work. The illness itself can be stubborn, exhausting, confusing.

It can all feel so frustrating.

We wanted to know what led some individuals to stick to their initial treatment — and why they’ve stayed dedicated ever since. Of course, life is not linear, and the people we interviewed haven’t had linear journeys either. Because bipolar disorder is complex. Their stories will no doubt inspire you, and remind you that you are not alone, and you can get better — even if your journey’s been jagged, too, even if it doesn’t feel like that right now.

How I Started Treatment

Therese Borchard, a writer and senior editor at HealthCentral.com, initially sought treatment for what she thought was depression, because she wanted to be emotionally available to her son. Her first few doctors treated her for depression, which only exacerbated her bipolar symptoms. She was finally correctly diagnosed at Johns Hopkins after her husband insisted she try a teaching hospital.

Borchard continued with her treatment because she was “completely desperate and in so much pain. I never ever wanted to return to that place again so I followed doctor’s orders even when I didn’t want to.” For instance, she wasn’t happy about taking lithium and having regular blood tests. Her husband also was a huge support, and reminded her “what the consequences of stopping could be.”

Elaina J. Martin, author of There Comes a Light: A Memoir of Mental Illness, was diagnosed with bipolar I after a suicide attempt. She moved from California to Oklahoma City to live with her parents so she could focus on her treatment. Which she kept up with because she wanted “to get off that rollercoaster.”

When Tosha Maaks’s husband mentioned that sometimes it feels like she’s two different people when she’s happy, and when she’s “in a mood,” she realized she needed help. “When I was ‘in a mood,’ I could slam doors off hinges or break plates against the wall just to hear them break.”

Maaks, a mom of four teenage boys, and frequent contributor to Psych Central, never liked the person she was when she wasn’t well. “The depression and mania never felt good for me, and knowing that I could somehow live a better life in treatment was enough for me to want to have a better life.”

She also initially stuck with treatment because she didn’t want to lose her family. However, it was tough for her to remember to take her medication daily (she also has ADHD), which meant she often skipped it. “Many times, I would claim they were not effective, and it wasn’t that the meds were not effective as my compliance with the meds was not effective.”

Then Maaks started working with a new doctor, and her husband became her reminder system. “He can ask me, ‘Have you taken your meds today?’ and I can’t get mad because he has earned that right as my support system.”

Karla Dougherty, author of Less Than Crazy: Living Fully With Bipolar II, went to therapy at first for her depression and anxiety. It took 40 years for her to get the right diagnosis. When she finally got it, she was relieved to have a name for her illness. “… I could get help, and peace.”

Writer and speaker Gabe Howard had no clue he was sick. A woman he was casually dating took him to the ER because she sensed something was wrong, and when she asked him if he’d been having suicidal thoughts, he said yes. Howard was positive the doctor “would laugh us out of the building,” because he clearly wasn’t ill. After he was moved to the psych ward, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Howard kept up with treatment because he believed his diagnosis. When he started researching and reading stories written by people with bipolar disorder, he saw himself in many of them.

He also read about and saw what happened to people who’d quit their treatment — everything from foolish behavior (“They felt like they were amazing, but they were just saying nonsense confidently. It was bizarre and sad”) to divorce (“The marriages with children where the hardest”) to death. “The worst thing I ever saw was the suicide of someone who was in a group I moderated. I went to the funeral and it was just so sad. They had been refusing meds for months.”

“Even when I didn’t like the treatment, moving forward was still better than what I heard happened to people who decided to play doctor,” Howard said.

Why I Stay Dedicated Today

Borchard, author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes, remains dedicated to her treatment because it’s a life-saver. Three years ago, she tried to go off her medication. “[I]t was a disaster. I was almost hospitalized again. I was suicidal for several months and the pain was so acute…. Even when I don’t think the medications are all that effective, I remind myself that they are certainly doing something because without them I had trouble functioning.”

Martin, who pens Being Beautifully Bipolar, remains dedicated because she believes in what bipolar disorder is: a chronic illness. Dougherty does, too: “I don’t think about it. I just take my medication and treat it as any other chronic condition.”

Another thing that keeps Martin dedicated is the cemetery. “When I see [cemeteries], I realize how close I was to being in a hole somewhere, which leads me to remember how much it would hurt people that I love.”

It took Maaks over a decade “to stick to treatment in the correct way and fully the way I should have, even though I tried to claim I was doing all I could.” She didn’t start learning about bipolar disorder until four years ago. “When I really started to figure out what was going on with me, then I started to really have better success with my recovery.”

The number one thing that keeps Maaks so diligent about her treatment today is her loved ones: “I know that I have to take care of myself because the people in my life — my husband, my kids, my in-laws, and my friends—are in my life because they get to choose to be in my life.” She doesn’t want to wake up one day and her loved ones have made a different choice.

“It’s much easier to be motivated today because my life is so incredible,” said Howard, who co-hosts The Psych Central Show podcast and A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, and A Podcast. “I have a wife, house, dog, friends, and a giant TV. I have a career I love. I don’t want to lose all of that. I saw what my life was like before treatment and I see what it is now. It would be crazy to stop my medication and risk going backward.”  

What About Challenges?

One of the biggest challenges for Borchard in maintaining her treatment is her desire to be normal. “I want to ‘be like everyone else.’” “But when you think about it, there really is no normal. It’s a setting on the dryer. I don’t like having to check in with my doctor so regularly, but she has saved my life and keeps me on the right track. When I stopped seeing her, and thought I knew the answers, I landed in chaos.”

Borchard navigates the challenges one step at a time. On the really hard days, she takes it 15 minutes at a time. “Breaking down everything—whether it be work, or a bad day with depression—makes it manageable.”

For Dougherty sometimes it feels like her medication subdues her creativity, and sometimes she misses her hypomania. This is when she talks to her husband, friends and psychiatrist, who help her stay the course. She also reminds herself that in reality she’s accomplished more on her medications than without them.

At first, Howard missed the mania, too. “[B]ut then I realized being happy daily beat alternating between depressed, moderate, and excitable.”

He’s also wanted to quit his meds before because of side effects, such as sexual side effects, feeling flat, blurred vision, dizziness and chronic fatigue. “Thankfully, I was able to work all of these out and have as few symptoms as possible.”

Howard encouraged readers to “Keep moving forward, keep working with your doctors, and continue to have hope.”

Hope really is vital. “[T]he most important thing to getting better is to have hope,” Borchard said. “Never ever lose hope. As long as you have hope, your life will get better.”

Bipolar disorder is a big illness that takes time to resolve, Howard said. “So don’t beat yourself up if you are still fighting. Please don’t give up. It’s OK to lose a battle; please don’t lose the war.”

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/people-with-bipolar-disorder-share-how-they-started-treatment-and-why-they-stick-with-it/

[shewantstobebeautiful]

What’s even wrong

At first, I thought the emotional problems were PMS. I was really snappy at people and moody and everything was bothering me. It was a little less than a month ago, about a week before my period was scheduled to start when it all kicked up. Then my period was late.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get my hopes up for pregnancy. Not that Patrick (boyfriend/future husband/love of my life) and I are trying for a kid, we aren’t not trying. Meaning, any form of birth control is out the window and we’re letting nature take its course. Anyway, I got a little excited. I’m late. I’m moody. I’m having some signs that tend to lead more towards early pregnancy instead of PMS. Then my period happened. Disappointment. Mix that with the emotional instability and I could write off what was going on up to that.

Except the feelings of painfully emotional hockey weren’t letting up. I would get hit by one emotion and end up flying with it until another hit of emotion smacked my in another direction with no rhyme or reason behind it. It became a big notice when I got into a yelling match with Patrick’s twin brother Nick not too long after my period ended. He lives up the road and uses our washer and dryer. Meaning he would drop his clothes off with the intent of doing them and then we would end up doing them.

Well, my roommate, Curtis, rearranged the basement, which housed the laundry machines, to make room for the pool table and some of Nick and his lady friend’s clothes got mixed into mine and Patrick’s. I dug through it all and thought I got it all fixed. Except Nick’s lady friend was missing a thing or two. And when I went down to the basement to talk to them, I saw Nick bent over my clothes, looking like he was sitting through it. I yelled at him. A lot. More than I should have. Needless to say, both him and I got triggered by each other. He left and texted Patrick, and I was reading the messages over his shoulder until I got hella triggered and stormed out. Slammed the front door in Patrick’s face and called my best friend crying. She calmed me down, things got sorted out with Nick, and life goes back to normal.

Except, it didn’t. My emotions are still right below the surface, waiting for a small gust of wind to blow the dirt away so I can get attacked by whatever desides to show up.

This is where both Patrick and I start to get scared. The day before yesterday Nick came over and dumped a load in, over filled the washer so it didn’t work properly. Patrick got annoyed with it and said he would do it. I yelled at him, more than I should have, about not doing Nick’s laundry anymore. I ended up cutting myself that night. I had already had a shitty day at work, bosses were up everyone’s ass, it was loud in my head, and I was drinking when I got home in hopes to calm down enough to not do something I would regret. AKA, cutting. My plan didn’t work out too well.

Yesterday was my day off. I was gonna hide in bed most of the day. That didn’t work. The immense feeling of guilt swallowed me up and I ended up making dinner, dessert, breakfast for today, cleaning the entire kitchen, our bedroom, vacuuming, and starting our laundry. I picked up Patrick, something I really didn’t wanna do. It was a bad day and I didn’t wanna leave the house, but he carpooled to work with Nick and didn’t wanna grocery shop with him after, so I picked him up.

We watched half a movie while we ate dinner, I started feeling....off. So in hopes to feel better, I took a looooong shower. I washed my hair, deep conditioned, worked out all the tangled, shaved off all my Chewbacca hair, exfoliated, the full nine yards and an extra just to be safe. When I got out, I still didn’t feel okay. I kept trying to get out of my head, but I cut. A lot. And deeper than I had been. Patrick ended up coming into the bathroom and even he admitted that he was worried.

Now, I’m to today. We got home from work, ate a little dinner, and I really haven’t left my bed because I’m overwhelmed with the desire to cut myself. I have been for a while. The stupid argument the day before yesterday was just an excuse to actually pick up the blade and do it. It’s been bad for a few months, my mom even commented sometime last month when I saw her, when I had some cuts on my arms about my mental health and she never does unless I bring it up first.

The thought crossed my mind last night, as I stared at myself in the mirror, a little disconnected from the world, how do I know when the spiral gets too much. How do I know when to scream for help because I’m falling too fast. How do I know if I need to go back to the hospital for help.

I don’t think I’m there yet, but I am scared that I’m on a spiral to that point. Especially looking at the mess of my arms. I’m just trying to make it through the next week or so when I finally am scheduled to see my therapist again.

[lotsofdogs]

Things I’m Loving Friday #237

Friday is here and I’m tempted to dub today Furniture Assembly Friday because that’s the main thing I hope to accomplish later this evening. A bunch of our nursery purchases arrived on our doorstep yesterday so we’ve got some work cut out for us this weekend! I hope that by Sunday evening, our new baby’s room looks a little more like a nursery versus the storage area it currently resembles. I’m oddly excited about putting everything together and hope the feeling lasts and isn’t trumped by the frustration that often follows putting together drawer after drawer of a dresser. I’ll be sure to share pics of everything soon!

Now let’s get crackin’ on the usual Things I’m Loving Friday fun around here. Below you will find a list of things that are making me smile this week and, as always, I’d love to hear a little bit about what all of you are loving right now. I hope you are able to spend the extra long Memorial Day Weekend with family and friends and take time to honor and remember the incredibly brave men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country.

Things I’m Loving Friday

Chase’s Last Day of Preschool

Flashback pic to Chase’s first day of school… Cue all the tears over here!!

Chase’s last day of preschool was Wednesday this week. He had a half-day and then the parents joined the kids at one of his classmates’ houses for a pool party and lots of playtime. We ended up staying out for the better part of the afternoon and Chase had an absolute BLAST. (He had his first experience in a puddle jumper in the pool and I immediately Amazon Primed one the minute we got home.) His two preschool teachers attended the party and I looooved chatting with them and the other parents while our children had the best time together. It was so fun to see Chase interact with the kids I hear so much about day in and day out and I’m so happy that the majority of Chase’s classmates are continuing at his same school next year. I feel incredibly lucky to have found a preschool we adore so much and am trying not to feel too sad about my baby officially completing his first year of preschool. Time is flying!

Baby Sprinkle at Ryan’s Work

Early yesterday afternoon, Chase and I headed off to Ryan’s work for the sweetest baby sprinkle hosted by his coworkers for our family. It was so kind of everyone to think of us and our baby-on-the-way and include Chase in the party. (Chase LOVED going to Dad’s work! When Ryan met us in the lobby he didn’t miss a beat and said, “Hey Dad! Where are your friends? You have a computer?”)

When Ryan told me about his coworkers’ plans, we requested no gifts (the evite actually said “in lieu of gifts, bring treats” – haha!) but everyone was so generous and surprised us with a few things for our baby which was very thoughtful. I also really enjoyed the opportunity to meet some of the people on Ryan’s team. We laughed a lot about our desire to not know the sex of our baby (apparently this is a very uncommon thing among Ryan’s coworkers) and the general consensus among his colleagues is that we’ll be having a girl which was mostly attributed to how high I am carrying our baby. Surprise, surprise! I swear Chase and I are the only two thinking BOY these days.

Hydrangeas

(Apparently Chase’s hair reacts to humidity the same way as his mamas: A wavy fluffball! Haha!)

Shout out to the previous owners of our home for enjoying gardening and planting some lovely flowers all over our yard because it’s the gift that keeps on giving to our family! We have two gorgeous hydrangea bushes that are absolutely thriving right now and just looking out at the beautiful baby blue flowers makes me so happy. Chase and I have been snipping a few hydrangeas here and there to put in small vases around our house and I love the springy look of flowers from our yard in our home. I keep telling myself that I’ll get into gardening… eventually.

Sharing Calm

The last half of this week was a bit bananas, mainly because Chase didn’t nap at all and was clingier, fussier and all around needier than usual. Without his naps to count on, it was hard for me to find time to hit a few work-related deadlines with companies for future blog posts that took me away from my usual in-the-moment blogging. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to work from home but inevitably life gets in the way of work for me and I just have to roll with it even if it can make me feel a little more on edge. (And I currently have NO idea how all of this is going to look when I have two kiddos in the mix but I figured things out with one child so I’ll do it again. Bring on the wonderful chaos!)

Anyway, I share all of that because I found myself feeling more frustrated and impatient than usual this week and kept thinking about the above graphic a friend of mine shared on Facebook a month or so ago. It’s something I’ve found myself thinking about over and over again, especially when I’m in the thick of a toddler meltdown. Though I’ve never been a “yeller” by nature, I notice that Chase responds to me so much better when I take a deep breath and address him in a calm way versus when I allow myself to get frustrated and my voice admittedly gets tense and irritable. At almost three years old, his emotions are BIG and powerful and while it’s not always easy, responding to them calmly makes a huge difference and can help prevent the meltdown from escalating into a full-blown tantrum. Just remembering this simple quote has helped me a lot when I’ve found myself feeling snappy so I had to share it here just in case it is something that resonates with any of you out there, too!

Collapsible Stepping Stool

This handy stool probably should’ve made my list of my Most Used Kitchen Items when I shared that post back in February but it completely slipped my mind. Technically it isn’t something I exclusively use in the kitchen since I cart this bad boy around our house all the time to help me grab things from hard-to-reach high places. It was one of those random purchases I made at HomeGoods that I ended up using a million times more than I ever thought I would! I was the queen of hopping up on counters and unstable stools to grab items off top shelves and this little solution makes it waaay safer for me to reach top shelves. It’s collapsible so I just tuck it into a kitchen cabinet when I’m done. It also comes in handy as a little stepping stool for Chase, especially when he wants to help Mom with blog photos!  

Memorial Day Weekend Sales

Below you will find a roundup of a few Memorial Day Weekend sales that caught my eye!

Old Navy: 50% off all tanks, tees, dresses, shorts and swimwear (I ordered these comfy linen-blend shorts for $11 in olive after reading so many good reviews and am crossing my fingers this wide-leg jumpsuit won’t be a complete fail purchase because it’s so cute online. Hoping they’ll both work well postpartum!)

Nordstrom: Up to 40% off for their Half Yearly Sale

Nordstrom Rack: Extra 25% off clearance

Ulta: 20% off any one item with code 650805 (FYI, this is my hair dryer that is the BEST EVER. It is super powerful and reduces frizz/makes my hair look shinier/sleeker than any other blow dryer I’ve tried.) 

Athleta: 20% off swim

Nike: Up to 40% off (These shoes are calling to me! Love the pumice/mint color.)

LOFT: 40% off everything with code LONGWKND

Anthropologie: Extra 40% Off Sale Plus 20% Off Furniture + Décor

RueLaLa: YumiKim sale (LOVE their feminine dresses and rompers!)

Friday Flashbacks

Here’s a short collection of a few of my favorite recipes to try this Memorial Day weekend in case you have a fun cookout on the agenda:

Berry Frozen Yogurt Pie 

Gluten-Free No Bake Double Chocolate Icebox Cake

Greek Yogurt Rotisserie Chicken Salad

Black Bean and Brown Rice Salad

Paleo Lemon Cupcakes

Cold Quinoa Salad

Simple Shrimp Dip

Simple Summer Chopped Salad

Pineapple Mint Sangria

Question of the Day

What is one thing that is making you smile today?

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