#'well its not confirmed-' PLEASE THIS IS ALL I HAVE LEARN TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES

[t4tdanvis]

every time i see someone ship mcd vylad with a woman i start screaming crying and throwing up

[ilydeku]

teacher izuku has a girlfriend??

Regardless of the joy and spur he expelled towards the students, Izuku knew how to maintain the steady hand of keeping the class under set composure. Nothing but the intent to teach and the will to learn, an equitable relationship between the two—and it was no question. Being the most loved and favored teacher had its perks, and grandiose respect was one of them.

But no matter how mature a student has grown, having fun will always reign somewhere along their focal point. Even if that fun means encouraging their teacher in his love life.

"...-because a good relationship between your teammates makes for optimal communication, conduct, and cooperation," explained Izuku, pointing from one spot on the board to another, well immersed in his lesson. "Now, considering quirk-"

"Speaking of relationships, are you in a relationship, sir?" A student, a frivolous girl, teasingly pipes in sudden interest. Plenty of students amongst the grade claimed a crush on Deku-sensei. Of course they did: he's sweet, very tentative and understanding to all his students individually, and takes his time to really help and engrave the knowledge he possessed for them to become the best future heroes they could be. That, and mostly his physical charms. So wouldn't it be in his best interest to have a girlfriend?

Little did Izuku know that this inquiry marked the beginning of his first uncontrollable havoc.

For a moment, he hesitated, pausing midway on the convoluted diagrams drawn on the whiteboard. A strange question, but he thought nothing much of it. He turned around and crossed his arms, lazily pointing the expo marker to the girl.

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Unrelevant, didn't see a hand raised-"

"Aw, but sir!" She draws out, slumping back in her seat. "Are you?"

Some students began to look at each other and exchange a few grins until the room began to slowly increase in volume and erupt into unintelligible chatter.

"Ahem."

The room fell into silence accordingly, but he could clearly read the expression on everyone's faces. The class was still waiting for his answer, the way they stared and leaned over their desks in anticipation. Izuku sighs and turns back to the board.

"...no, I'm not in a relationship. Moving on, the information I've drawn-"

"Really?" The girl cuts in matter of factly with a tilt of her head. "But aren't you and y/n talking??"

A chorus of engrossed 'oohs' echoed across the room and a very subtle, but defined shade of pink dusted his cheeks at the mention of you. He turned around again and attempted to regain composure of the class.

"Everyone settle down-"

"Y/n L/n? Isn't that (hero name)?? I think she's in the top 20's now."

"Yeah! I've seen her drop by the school a couple times during lunch!"

"Now that I think about it, Deku-sensei does have her come in as a guest speaker a lot..."

It was just one after another, the addition of suspicions and theories now bringing the truth to the surface. Izuku swallowed.

A loose black band around Izuku's wrist caught another student's eye and they stood up and pointed in excitement. "Look!! Deku-sensei has hair ties on his wrist!! Hair ties!!"

"Kids, please...-"

"Wow..I've never seen your class this rowdy before, Izuku!!" That voice. His head snapped toward you in surprised, totally flustered about the situation. The entire class went dead silent and turned to you, standing at the entrance of the classroom. You wave at his kids with a smile and stroll over to Izuku's desk, dropping off a bag of some sort. He watches you endearingly.

"You forgot your lunch at home, silly."

"O-Oh did I? Haha, sorry y/n. Thank you. You're on break right now, right?"

The students watched you both like a show, taking in the interaction, the body language, the words. There's no doubt you two were a thing right? Deku-sensei and (hero name)!!

And just then, you confirmed it with simple kiss on his cheek.

"Bye, Izuku! Be nice to the kids, hm?"

"You know I always am!!"

As soon as the classroom door clicked, the class burst into awe.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US???"

[oomisluvr]

DREAMS, FAIRYTALES, & FANTASIES (WHEN YOU'RE AROUND ME)

synopsis: sakusa thinks your confidence is sexy. give him a twirl, won't you?

warnings: flirty!sakusa, suggestive, allusions to sex but nothing graphic i promise, reader is fine as hell, sakusa is horny because reader is fine as hell, swearing probably, proof read exactly one (1) time, can someone please buy me a skims dress

SAKUSA has always been comfortable in the role of an observer. Distant. Disconnected. Always calculating. There’s so much you can learn about a person by just watching them.

“Do I look okay?” You ignore the intensity of his stare, smoothing away any wrinkles in your skintight dress with a sweaty palm, “It’s not too much for a company dinner?” 

Kiyoomi’s eyes sweep up and down your figure, before flicking them up to meet yours through the mirror.

“I’m not sure,” He hums, doing a terrible job at hiding his intentions, a lazy smile on his handsome face, “C’mere for a second.”

Abandoning the array of makeup on your vanity, you skitter over to where he sits on the edge of your shared bed. Kiyoomi’s gaze almost has a physical presence; you can practically feel his eyes on you.

“Give me a twirl, pretty.” 

You laugh easily, giving into his request and making a show spinning on your heels to highlight every angle of your outfit. He offers a low whistle in return. 

“This dress is a little tight, no?” You can hear his smirk.

“Is that a problem?” You sass, breath catching a bit when you feel the calluses of his hand smooth over your waist and hips, dipping down to toy with the exposed skin of your thigh at the hem of your dress.

“Not at all,” He responds with a breathy chuckle, “You look beautiful, baby. I love how confident you are when you get dolled up.”

“Y-Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he parrots, a little breathless because you always seem to have that effect on him, “It’s unbelievably sexy.”

Like an alligator nabs its prey, Sakusa’s arms reach out to you, pulling you into his lap. He chuckles a bit when you squeal, feeling the vibrations of the sound everywhere.

“God, you look amazing.” He mumbles to the sweet skin of your neck, like it’s a secret belonging only to him, “I’m sorry I couldn’t come with you. I would love to be your accessory for the night.” 

You giggle at the comment, ”Accessory?”

“Accessory might be too kind of a word, actually.” He jokes, “I’d look like hot garbage standing next to you. God, how could you settle like this?”

“Stop!” You playfully demand, not a fan of his self-deprecating sense of humor, “I happen to find you quite handsome! You look good! Sexy, even!”

“Wrong,” he hums to the shell of your ear, wrapping his arms around you and pulling tight because somehow sitting on his lap wasn’t close enough for him, “You make me look good. I love showing you off.”

“You’re a terrible flirt.” You soften at his admission, angling his head with a manicured finger and closing the space between the two of you. Slotting your lips against his, you let Kiyoomi lead, the kiss keeping a lazy rhythm. It’s all tongue and soft sucking; slow because you know he’ll miss you, even over a few hours. You pull away dissatisfied–no amount of kisses will ever be enough, “I love you.” It’s barely above a whisper.

“I love you, too.” You can see the hearts in his eyes, “Be safe tonight, okay? Call me if anything.”

You nod, wiping away flecks of red that transferred from your lips to his, “You’re still picking me up?”

“And dropping you off.” He confirms. 

You frown a bit, suddenly nervous again, “Is it lame if I show up early? What time do you think we should leave?”

“Well, you have two options,” He grins, “We can leave now and get there by 7. Very much on time.”

“And the other?” He grins, equal parts flirtatious and predatory, pointed canines coming into view, “We fuck right now and you show up fashionably late.”

(jump cut to reader showing up 90 minutes late with a dopey smile and a poorly-hid hickey on her neck. the camera pans to reader also leaving early LMAOO)

[hunniebunnietarot]

"When I First Saw You"

First of all, I apologize for the delay on this reading:( I've been so unmotivated and busy, but I got it up FINALLY! If you can please tell me what you think of this reading or if you have any other suggestions. Enjoy!

Tarot Masterlist

~~~

How?

I’m seeing this as a situation where you are in need of assistance because of something(or someone) that is bothering you. This could involve an older woman that is bothering you and your person steps in to help before it gets too far. It won’t be anything too serious, just a misunderstanding between you and this older lady, where she is the aggressor. This might take place in a work environment where your manager will be antagonizing you and they step in simply because they can’t stand to see someone be mistreated. It is also possible that your future spouse won’t step in to help you in this conflict. This could be the cause because they see how well you can handle yourself, so they kind of hesitate but still keep an eye out so that nothing goes too far. Now, this conflict could be a long time coming as you have bottled up your emotions thus far through all of the mistreatment and unfairness. The saying “The straw that broke the camel’s back” comes to mind.

Also, for very few of you this could be a misunderstanding between you and your fs in the first meeting.

When?

This is just a confirmation of everything said before. You are feeling trapped in a situation with someone else and are being led to take action. You probably gave this person the benefit of the doubt so many times, but something just finally snapped. With that being said the months that are being highlighted here are November, March, and June.

How?

You might relocate due to a new job opportunity. I see you kind of getting back on your feet after some kind of loss. Specifically I feel like you’ll be moving somewhere that is known for its diversity. You will be wanting to nurture yourself after this hard time in your life, being held down by circumstances for so long. More specifically you could be going somewhere that is good for your spiritual/physical health, such as: a spiritual retreat, a temple, a spa, a resort etc. You could run into this person there. You will actually end up making friends with this person at first because you two may relate in some ways regarding your spiritual journey. You both could have a history of depression or anxiety, come from similar backgrounds, or be of the same sex.

When?

You will definitely be coming out of a bad period of (possible) depression. The good news though, is that you will absolutely be thriving when this person enters your life. Although you may be a bit unstable still, trying to find your footing, you’ll be well on your way. For extra confirmation: you may be the kind of person that has that extreme view of having to completely uproot your life to “start over”. Some of the people in this pile may be recovering addicts and learning to trust themselves again. Months December, October and August are highlighted here.

How?

I think a friend will set you and your person up on a blind date. They might think that you work too hard even though you’re already successful. Around the time this happens you may express to them wanting to be in a relationship, but never actually taking action to do so. So they take it into their hands and offer their help, whether you want it or not (I see them as kind of pushy and excitable). Your friend reminds me of Elle Woods from ‘Legally Blonde’. This may be a blind date or them just dragging you out of your comfort zone to have fun out and about. I also want to point out that your future spouse could be someone that you already know, meaning they would have already been aware of you(and vice versa) because of mutual friends. You may just know or recognize them in passing.

When?

Again, you will be experiencing a time of financial abundance. You will be guided to do something outside of your normal routine by a friend. You could be a workaholic and have one of those routines where you only go to work and then straight back home(same lol), so they suggest something different. The Summer months are highlighted in your spread: August, June and July.

How?

You will meet your future spouse through a family member, I think it will be someone from your father’s side of the family. It could be an emotional event, such as a wedding of one of your family members, and your person happens to be one of their guests. This means that they could be a friend of your family or the person they will get married to. Whatever this event is could take place in a different city, state, or even country then where you are on a daily basis(destination wedding). You could not get along with some of your family and have worries about your person being told bad things about you(really random but it's here). 

When?

The months present are April, November, and September. This time of your life will be quite restless feeling. You could be stuck in a “I miss those days” kind of mentality because not much will be working out for you when this person comes into your life. You are not satisfied with your circumstances.

~~~

More coming soon, I promise lol

[acourtofquestions]

Empire of Storms Part 1 thoughts, theories & a VERY VERY long post of rambling:

(+ this title as a spoiler warning; heads up to my fellow fans & first time readers (esp. those semi-tagged in this post), I address a lot of Part 1 & possibly up to Chapter 52 of EoS;-) I am ALSO on my first read just finishing said 52 so no spoilers for me past that as I go through Fireheart as well plz, & thx!

I will also be posting a far shorter better edited version of this post next :-)

Oh good gods this book is going to destroy me in the best way possible😅😅🤦‍♀️😭😁😬😆🤣🙃❤️‍🔥🖤🫶

Long writing/reading (I HAVE LOTS OF THOUGHTS & FEELINGS & NEED TO SCREAM IN WIVERN FANGIRL NONSENSE! So, this post will probably jump around quite a bit between chapters, thoughts, theories, reactions, & randomness; read/skim at your own rambling risk😅 also in advance for missed autocorrects I TRIED😂) “round up” for Part 1 of EoS. & yes I have been reading a LOT (whilst VERY busy😂😭), so this blog’s posts are in desperate need of a catch up & will probably only grow more hectic as alas, my library & brain demand to know what happens next NOW😂. You have been warned this post & blog is about to be more incoherent than usual! — And as I said this post is LONG (If your thinking I’m kidding; legit I think this is 20 something pages long; consider it here for historical purposes… & I had a VERY long drive with no books😂)

— NOW —

The organization of parts is interesting, we go from Nightfall, to The Fire-Bringer, to Fireheart. It feels like a full circle from night to day; from learning to being, and showing Aelin’s claim (not from Elena, not from her powers, but from her). The heart of Terrasen, the fire for the world (esp. against the Valg). … It’s also scaring the heck out of me with her self-sacrificial tendencies & the VERY intense vibe (from the first few chapters this story advances into a “final chapter vibe” yet it’s only the first few; it’s reminding me of Deathly Hallows almost? — which is esp. confusing CAUSE I STILL HAVE 3 BOOKS LEFT… and we’re already this intense😬😅soooo MAAS PLEASE DON’T YOUR DARE HURT A HAIR ON ANY OF THEM!!) P.S. for this note; it’s also making my shipping fuel go from 180 to infinity cause she’s his Fireheart🥹 (If only “worried over liking the ship” HoF first read me could see me now😂 @ goddess-aelin 🫶YOU WERE SO RIGHT👏). And generally it’s just been cool to see how the entire story & series has shifted so much (yet kept its heart ;-) !

So, Generally speaking: I’ve loved the first half of Nightfall & The Fire-Bringer (As I’ve loved the series). From the pace & many perspectives, to the plot twists & Easter egg style hints, and the writing with straight-up foreshadowing & full-circle series arcs (many of which have had big moments interwoven & reaching peak within this book). There has been some great character development (many beautiful lines/moments) a lot of raw emotion (crying, laughing, and all of the above), & entertaining interactions as my favorite piece of this book has been all these stories finally crossing paths (& within that developing relationships, friendships, families, courts, enemies, allies, etc.) for the “New World” that’s coming.

Nightfall:

“Elena sent up a final prayer on a pillar of smoke rising from the valley floor that the unborn, faraway scions of this night, heirs to a burden that would doom or save Erilea, would forgive her for what she was about to do.”

Elena I don’t know if I can forgive you for what you’re about to do😅😅 the plan here is long coming, as Lysandras “theory” further confirms:

"The more it seems like this was all planned, laid out long ago. Erawan had decades before Aelin was born to strike decades during which no one with her powers, or Dorian's powers, existed to challenge him. Yet, as fate or fortune would have it, he moves now. At a time when a Fire-Bringer walks the earth." It was all horrifying, impossible, but—so much of their lives defied logic or normalcy. The shifter next to him proved that. "Morath is unleashing its horrors," Lysandra said. "Maeve stirs across the sea. Two goddesses walk hand in hand with Aelin. More than that, Mala and Deanna have watched over her the entirety of her life. But perhaps it wasn't watching. Perhaps it was ... shaping. So they might one day unleash her, too. And I wonder if the gods have weighed the costs of that storm. And deemed the casualties worth it."

& previous lines on “all the players in the unfinished game” (I’m getting S&B Ruin & Rising vibes (for those of you Grishaverse fans; which btw one of these days I need a whole post about parallels & these two series, cause just the stag and lord of the north alone. I AM INTRIGUED & do love both fandoms ;-) + I think the crows would fit so well & it would be wonderfully & utterly chaotic🤣).

So, my general concern is this theory & warning everyone keeps giving Aelin about “the price”; from Rolfe’s tattoo map & warning question: “"That was the price of my power. What shall yours be, Aelin Galathynius?" She didn't reply to him before storming out. Though Deanna's voice had echoed in her mind. The Queen Who Was Promised.” To clever Elide’s question: “Was that the price for the humans they'd once been-magic that was somehow immune to what flowed naturally in this world? Or had the choice been taken from them, as surely as their souls had been stolen, too?” to crucial warnings like Brannon: “We burn not just within our magic, but also in our very souls. For better or worse.” & the danger continuing to grow like that of the FULL Deanna scene:

“And she said to him, in a voice that was deep and hollow, young and old, "Every key has a lock. Tell the Queen Who Was Promised to retrieve it soon, for all the allies in the world shall make no difference if she does not wield the Lock, if she does not put those keys back with it. Tell her flame and iron, together bound.”

She is the one, she has to get the lock, and she will have to pay the price for both (her ancestors & the darkness created in centuries of Erawan); one that will be heavy (one Elena failed to do; and I somewhat worry is because while she did sacrifice herself, her friends, her people, her kingdom, even letting Brannon fall to ruin (Brannon; the only one who ever successfully sealed it, because he sacrificed her mother, his love, “My mother died to forge that Lock!”) she did not let Gavriel “that which she most loved” fall; she tried to do it alone & was left with no option but to leave it to someone else; another era, another heir); now Aelin carries every thread, plot, battle aligning; the power she wields & sheer force of it, the weight of her crown & every choice it comes with, the price it will demand (the one she has spent a lifetime running from; “my crown is just another set of shackles”; the one Mala may have been shaping her to be able to make even through experiencing tragedy & turbulence in decisions over & over again). The warning in every choice; including the person she loves most (Rowan’s fear of “The people you love are just weapons used against you.”) “This thing between them, the force of it, could devour the world.” Her terror in that; struggling to allow them to go for the front lines while she survives, no longer alone & no longer able to take it all on, but struggling to let them in on the “master plan”. Struggling because even as she does, it weighs on them too: “Aelin was trembling, a hand on her friend-face so white and drawn that any harsh words he'd reserved for her were unnecessary. His queen knew the cost. It had taken her so damn long to trust any of them to do anything. If Aedion roared at her now, even if he still yearned to ... Aelin might never delegate again. Because if Lysandra hadn't been in the water when things had gone so, so badly…” And they do see it; the on-growing burden on Aelin’s shoulders & how she’s carrying the weight of it; both as a queen (despite her current lack of crown) another long-coming plot; as spoken by Chaol: “There she was, that queen looking out at him, a hint of the ruler she was becoming. And it knocked the breath out of him, because it made him feel so strangely young-when she now seemed so old.” And turning her desperate & weary; heavier slowly: “Since Rowan had gone, since word of Rifthold's fall had arrived, Aelin had been half present. Distant.” line after line “She'd grown quieter the farther north they'd traveled. Perhaps weeks on the road had sapped her.” They fear for her “And he wondered if Aelin was somehow watching the archipelago, and the seas, and the skies, as if she might never see them again.” for the price of such powers “We have yet to see the full extent of Erowan’s darkness. And I think we have yet to see the full extent of Aelin’s fire.” & They try to help “After tonight, depending on what the lords reported he'd try to find her a quiet place to rest for a day or two before they made the last leg of the trek to Orynth.” desperate to stop it “"She's not some unwitting pawn." He'd defy the gods, find a way to slaughter them, if they threatened Aelin, if they deemed these lands a worthy sacrifice to defeat the Dark King.” to protect her “Rowan at her right, Aedion at her left, Lysandra at her back; nothing and no one would get to their queen.” all the while they know they cannot as Rowan’s line painfully says: “This was war. These lands would endure far worse in the coming days and months. His queen, no matter how he tried to shield her, would endure far worse.” (Also the key word endure, frequently used for the “lost children of Terrasen” as I call their grouping). To even Aelin’s own words “She was a liar, and a murderer, and a thief, and Aelin had a feeling she'd be called much worse by the end of this war.”

This is where I fear Nightfall will come to rise in Fire-Heart:

I say all of this to say I get concerned when Maas feels the need to start a book with such warning; in both the price, and person paying it… Aelin is too much like Elena… Celaena has lost too much to lose anyone else (“And she would not add another name of her beloved dead to her flesh.” — “"We'll get her back, Aelin." "I can't bury another friend." "You won't."”)… and carrying it so heavily I worry she may overpay her share on their behalf’s. And between that & the many conflicting & star aligning forces of Rowaelin I worry the conflicts may grow; originally it was him not feeling “enough” for her because he’s a Prince not a King, he has no money no land no army (thankfully we are done with that piece because he can give her everything🥹 of his heart and that’s all she needs). We have the inevitable Maeve’s vendetta. We have my growing fear with the Carranam bond getting drained; like it almost did with Deanna. And the quotes all warning that their world may lead to another being destroyed, one or the other; “This thing between them, the force of it, could devour the world. And if they picked it, picked them, it might very well cause the end of it.”

… and though this isn’t due to Nightfall I am just concerned (I try to avoid spoilers (and continue to do so); but I already know it’s got a cliffhanger) and I have read enough Maas books (and just fandoms in general) to fear the 1-2 punch of “THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE😱 — PSYCH😜 THEY ARE ALL FINE😅 — JUST KIDDING EVERYONE YOU LOVE IS DEAD!☠️” + the amount of possible brainwashing between Valg, Wyrdstones, and now gods… I’m just nervous (& still not 100% sure someone isn’t already secretly possessed).

MY DO NOT KILL LIST IS GETTING TOO LONG: From ASTERIN (scared me half to death SARAH) & Manon + 13 (obvi💁‍♀️), Abraxos & Fleetfoot & Evangeline (had to break my “no Google” rule to assure the latter twos safety *phew*), Aelin & Rowan (DON’T YOU EVEN DARE), Lysandra, Aedion, Dorian (HE’S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH; STOP HURTING HIM), Elide (just let her be happy & home & make Marion proud dammit), Chaol (he’s not even here & I’m still a little mad BUT STILL) & Yrene (she hasn’t even fully come in yet & I don’t care I love her already) + Nesryn who babe, you know I love you, but I need more history & perspective to trust you fully (you seem cool, but I’m worried the lack of knowledge about you means your gonna lie or die, & it’s just too soon after Sorscha), Emrys (your safe in Mistward; STAY THERE), Sam (beloved, you’re still on this list; even though I know how it ended, & really do LOVE Rowaelin, I just still miss you; & want a Multiverse of happy endings for EVERYONE).

— HOWEVER —

I hope Fire-Heart will bring:

More Manorian; and let’s be honest ALL the ships (+ it could get realll literal with the set-up right now😂 the ships are LITERALLY sailing🤣) of course I CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH ROWAELIN (though Fire-Bringer was great 🥵 THEY FINALLY SAID I LOVE YOU🥹👏) & I am SO HERE FOR Lysandra & Aedion! … also what’s up with Elide & Lorcan? (Her last name + his first name TOO SIMILAR😂)

More interactions in general between all the characters from ships, to friendships, to even enemies (who often also become friends😂) honestly might be my fav part about this book so far; seeing it all line up & crossover; (from aforementioned Elide & Lorcan), (to previous & hopefully again soon) Manon & Aelin, the FULL team with THE THIRTEEN (Asterin & our crew would be absolute chaos & I would love every second of it), Sorrel too! AND VESTA! Petrah Blueblood (I find her VERY interesting as a character), Elide & the “lost children of Terrassen” finally meeting; maybe some more Ren & Bane updates (cause I wonder about them & what their up to) to Abraxos & Fleetfoot (PLEASE I NEED THIS… just don’t eat eachother😅😂) & yes I do STILL miss Evangeline & Fleetfoot; though I am happy they are safe; while the fire trick was cool it was SO not sustainable, & I do trust Murtaugh… and these full circles; Ansel’s (presumed) reintroduction & the TAB throw-backs/crossovers (plus NOW Crochans?). —

Exploring things of the sort; what is the other side of the “Crochan’s tale”, what is Elide’s true bloodline, how does the new Mala knowledge effect Aelin & Dorian?

Who are the Cadre (& learning more of their history; both with Aedion & Gavriel (that blood oath better not pass to children), Lorcan (Elide is already helping there thankfully) the other twin because I already stan Fenrys, and really Rowan because who are they really? Despite the “blood oath” reasoning they spent centuries together there has to be more to it). I want to get to know the twins & their whole Yin & Yang balance; also what is Fenrys power? (why does Rowan let him go after Aelin in the water instead, he must be pretty dang powerful & more so than Rowan to be her best option in his eyes)! What other histories does Rowan have (are the “witches” one of them)? What else is Maeve (I will never trust her) hiding?

Why is Erowan this way (who really killed Aelin’s parents)? Are we POSITIVE the Ilken aren’t the creatures Elide saw in the basement (wow that sounds extra ominous😂)?

Will Chaol show up (how is his team & the southern allies coming along)?

What is the limitation to Lysandra’s powers (can they find a way to trick the Terrasen flower into “blooming”)?

Is their further crossover between these series (ACOTAR & CC)?

Explain further how certain things work such as mates (Rowan has two? Celaena/Aelin too maybe? & what that means for others)… And just a lil’ fluff (Rowan & Fleetfoot, the team all together, shenanigans & some side plots for funsies) maybe?…

I theorize Fire-Heart will:

Confirm Rowaelin as mates (they practically have already but I want to hear the words). Plus plenty more of them just being them (their every moment is so detailed & precious). Maybe even some more moments with Prince of Doranelle vibes ;-)

Show that there are multiple Carranams (possibly a dyad between Aelin & Dorian. Rowan & Aelin being the mates balance; making Aelin & Dorian the “friendship / rulers / fates” balance). & Without a limit to their power; the danger of over-draining others (Deanna causing Rowan to feel “thunder steal his magic” is CONCERNING & Dorian’s magic is hungry for it).

Confirm that Aelin can use shadowfire, moonfire, & power without limit. Explore her other gifts such as water & healing. Possibly introduce her as a powerful enough wielder to use all the forms (as briefly referenced as a possibility among others before).

Confirm Lysandra & Aedion as mates or at least a couple. (Also use it to explore Aedion’s history & introduce the Bane or at least their set-up).

Bring back the Mycenians since Lysandra & Aelin’s masterplan worked (THE DRAGON THEORY WAS RIGHT)!

Set sail on Manorian in a way that is explanatory/foreshadowing. (Possibly tap into Dorian’s immortality? & power exploration explanations. And go into Manon’s ability to forge a new alliance of peace between MANY groups; not because I’m suggesting the sexist “get married” nonsense so many are giving Aelin, literally just that she could speak on behalf of many groups & since Darrow has brought diplomatic debates into this war it could be an asset).

Introduce Ansel, and perhaps loop back to the Red Desert (unless the Silent Assassins have disappeared). Showing all of Celaena as we see all of Aelin (letting Rowan know even more of her, healing those wounds as he & her family fully accept her; hopefully doing the same thing for them; going through more history). & Similarly with Rowan; possibly saving the Cadre’s lives through it (or at least stopping Lorcans “execution”).

Tie in the spider silk, between Abraxos’s wings (Manon’s “stealing”), & Aelin’s Red Desert history deals. If not in this book than KoA.

Explain Maeve’s obsession with Aelin & vendetta against the family.

Aelin reclaiming her crown by having the heart of her people (we’ve seen “the future”, there is a woman with hair like moonlight; I think this is Manon. The people chant for her, she is their Queen and that is her court; including the witch).

I think Aelin (like Manon & the other golden eyed 13) are Valg proof. She has the golden eye ring of the Ashryver eyes… in that case maybe Aedion too?? (Hopefully🥺… I mean why else would history write a poem about it?) … While I’m at it let’s make Lysandra’s shifting immune too (protect all my bb’s)!😂

Reveal the Wyrdstone Elide carries as THE Lock (between her last name having the word lock😂 or “loch” I guess, the magic not being immediately recognized as a Wyrdkey by Lorcan, & Kaltain’s promise/importance with an explanation for the “living gate” term). Then when she reaches them so does the thread of fate (once again).

Go to Ellywe & both heal/break my soul (all this travel has made it inevitable; though it is cool to see more of the continents of this fictional world etc.)!🙃

Not something I truly believe but one I wonder on; is there a relation between either Rowan & Manon (history or hair color related😂) or Aelin & Manon (some sort of blood relation; the gold eyes & power levels?).

Not theories but things I think need to happen ASAP: STOP WEARING THE WYRDKEY as a necklace AELIN I DON’T care if it’s a “family heirloom” IT’S A BAD IDEA (have you not seen Harry Potter? — sry for another reference, but seriously DON’T WEAR HORCRUX LOCKETS folks)! Tell Elide the full truth; Celaena = Aelin (at least Lorcan is getting close). Commit to immortality (I’m looking at you Aelin & Aedion; esp. Aelin… ROWAN NEEDS THIS; the only time I will ever encourage a woman to “settle”😂)! Address the very long list of “things for later/back burner” because I can’t keep track😂 & they are all WAY too important😅, dangerous😬, and THE LIST IS LONG SO HURRY UP Y’ALL😁!!!

— NOW ONTO THE “ACTUALLY” READ “BIG PORTION😂 —

The Fire-Bringer:

A lot of reactions have random posts; per usual many of the opinions change with hindsight, but I like being able to look back & enjoy it for the first time so (while I do try to give an update) I’ll probably leave the posts up :-) hoping to get a few lil (by that I mean pages jk sry not sry lol I warned you) notes I’m pondering on in here though…

I love the Little Folk’s little but magical role:😊 when (not if; I’m gonna will it into reality with terminology) this gets an adaptation I can’t wait to see them! — I really love the fan art & its many different takes for what they may be all the way from fairy’s, to wisps, to “baby-Groot”-like characters! … I also wonder if they could help out with that “rulers flower thing” possibly, same as pondered for Lysandra (I think these “little things” will be keys to helping Aelin with “dum-dum Darrow” (as I’ve dubbed him; cause I’m angry! & it may be only a 1st read impression as of right now, but he’s also given me 0 reason to like him).

The Oakwald forest: EVERYONE IS SO CLOSE yet SO FAR! (At least Manon has finally made it to the team… well kinda… she better actually MAKE IT past the ship drop-off… if you can call it that?😅 this is why I need to type fast & go read!) If Tower of Dawn manages to match this pace of “just-missed, kinda-crossover” I see why the tandem read would work! It’s quite fun (& semi-irritating/anxiety-inducing but in a good way😂).

Speaking (writing?😂) of Manon: TALK ABOUT IMMEDIATE CHAOS, each of her chapters have been SO intense. I might have cried with her the most so far; I legitimately almost lost it over Asterin’s almost execution & The Thirteen (I AM VERY GLAD THEY FINALLY LEFT THE MATRON & got out so they can please be safe now; or at least they already are in my mind; though last we saw them it was all chaos, they were running (a win) & the shadows seemed to confirm them getting out (another good sign) while Asterin being dragged off screaming isn’t great I think she was shouting for Manon because she didn’t want to leave her… & I refuse to accept any other answer) only problem is Manon is not with them; & she really needs to be😅😅😭 instead of half-dead in the woods, hunted by a banshee-hound-thing? Abraxos honey, thank you for taking care of mother🥹😂 at least she is with the team on the same-ish side now. So, hopefully Abraxos will go grab the rest of The Thirteen while he drops Manon off? I NEED THE WHOLE GANG; I mean Erawan & Maeve are screwed in that case. Esp. since most of them are Valg proof golden eyed; & also have you seen these gals fight? … Honestly, I think they are one of the great shows of good writing in these books; because these characters could easily be read as villains & psychopaths to be hated, yet they manage to be a compelling, interesting, group of female badassery & sisterhood, that really captures your heart (pun intended). HOWEVER, I say all of this Spoiler-free while not oblivious; I have 2 &1/2 books left (wow that’s numbers too small I’m gonna get sad😅😂) I know people say this ending is a hard, & a book of cliffhangers… So, if this is “just” the beginning it can only get crazier😅 (I just don’t want to know; I want to think this will be like ACOTAR with no deaths as long as I can believe it) & even with the Matron’s probable on-it’s-way “dispatch”, they managed to hide Asterin for years. My main concern is Sorrel & Vesta as they’ve been given enough time to love them, yet not enough time for a full arc, I can’t have any red shirts & I’m a little worried for them (but I just wanna love them as long as I can🥹).

I’m so glad I was right; from day ONE I’ve been wondering about Aedion & Lysandra cause *coughs* I mean their first scene together ever… she’s changing his shirt… and now the whole “wandering off to give Rowaelin time” which while a fair-ish excuse it is also a little ;-) ;-) … and now that he’s said he’s gonna marry her “Because I am going to marry you," he promised her. "One day. I am going to marry you.”… I’m counting it (why is it giving New Girl CeCe & Schmidt?😂)

But in all seriousness ship-ness aside I appreciate their friendship; the understanding of each-other with a healthier trauma bond (for all they cannot say, yet carry so heavily; all the shame & fear Aedion is wrestling with; & the steady acceptance Lysandra gives) I loved them both as is, but together is something precious & nice to see develop (while staying slow, taking time, surety of respectful). While at times it feels fast, it makes complete sense (esp. as we don’t get their perspectives as frequently, & with the knowledge that mates can be pretty immediate; even if it’s not “said”; it tracks).

Though it hurt (& was also kinda healthily valid) to hear Aedion be angry with Aelin, it also says a lot about how much he cares for Lysandra (as Aelin often can “do no wrong in his eyes”) to be angry in the first place “And for the first time, he hated his cousin. He hated Aelin for asking this of Lysandra, both to defend them and to secure the Mycenians to fight for Terrasen. Hated the people who had left such scars on the shifter that Lysandra was so willing to throw her life away. Hated ... hated himself for being stuck in this useless tower.” While also knowing it’s not her fault, it is her choice, but it also had to be (he at least knows that & does cut her slack). “He was shaking now, that rage indeed taking over. But Rowan snarled at him, low and vicious, "Save it for later." Aedion growled right back at him. Rowan gave him a cold, steady look that said if he so much as began to hint at what their queen carried, he'd rip out his tongue. Literally. Aedion shoved down the anger. "We can't carry her, and she's too weak to shift." "Then we wait here until she can," Aelin said. But her eyes drifted to the bay, and to the city beyond, still cheering. victory—but very nearly a loss. The remnants of the Mycenians, saved by one of their long-lost sea dragons. Aelin and Lysandra had woven ancient prophecies into tangible fact. "I'll stay," Aedion said. "You deal with Rolfe." "Fine," he said. Aelin groaned, getting to her feet, but stared down at him before she took Rowan's extended hand. She said softly, "I'm sorry." Aedion knew she meant it. He still didn't bother replying.” & knows (because Lysandra makes him better; as she already reminds him with her knowing compassion): “"That man has endured enough, Aedion. A little kindness wouldn't kill you." "He stabbed Aelin. If you knew him as I have, you wouldn't be so willing to fawn over. "No one expects you to fawn over him. But a kind word, some respect-" He rolled his eyes. "Keep your voice down." She did- but went on, "He was violated, and even if you cannot draw up forgiveness for stabbing Aelin against his own will, then try to have some compassion for that." — Aedion snarled at her. Lysandra snarled right back and held his stare with the face not trained or built for bedrooms, but the true one beneath—wild and unbroken and indomitable. No matter what body she wore, she was the Staghorns given form, the heart of Oakwald Aedion said hoarsely, "I'll try." "Try harder. Try better."”)

& Then moments like him asking her to come with him to meet Gavriel, & she simply does. Or that she trusts him to carry her home, vulnerable & tired. I think they give a lot of what the other needs while growing to be who they are themselves. Plus Lysandra deserves to be a leopard princess, sister-in-law(ish) to Aelin. “Princess Lysandra Ashryver sounds nice, doesn't it?” YES IT DOES!

Speaking of Lysandra (who is seriously one of my all time favorites; I relate, I adore her, and really it just doesn’t get better then all of these characters) I WAS RIGHT ABOUT LYSANDRA BEING A DRAGON!!! GENIUS!! And also LYSANDRA WAS A DRAGON!!!!!! I love her & Aelin’s plotting (which also gets kinda Kaz Brekker vibes sometimes; she is so brilliant, & the fact Lysandra just piles into the shenanigans; I love them). TALK ABOUT POWER! Also what fun genius for mythology… winning the people’s hearts… etc. …if only she could turn into a flower… and making that moment the first perspective we have from her in this book was so fun! Shoutout to @ asexualzucchini for fandoming about this with me (heads up again cause I know your on a first read too; THIS POST HAS SPOILERS for Pt. 1 ;-)

ELIDE & LORCAN; a team-up I was NOT expecting, yet find SO intriguing. From highlighting Elide (which is well deserved) esp. in her truest strength; smarts (her & Annabeth Chase would’ve been besties) and as something even Lorcan sees & values greatly, extra fun as in combo to his physical strength it’s a pretty perfect team (& a helpful combo for storytelling because you see his perspective which is of course very different then spoken threats from Rowaelin perspectives ONLY; & of course once again while I’m curious to learn more on the Cadre; esp. since Lorcan often to me just seems angry to have “lost” his friend). And I do love the boundaries they respect (even as an unknown dare I say “anti-hero”? Lorcan still has some clear moral lines (& I generally appreciate that in the Maasverse that everyone except the worst of the worst can agree where those are) he also keeps his word a VERY intriguing piece of his character), also the representation they give (go team disability represent!) + small girlies hanging out w big brooding boys (there’s my “kitty” style reference for you Aelin lol). Also funny cause eventually they’re gonna end up in the same place😂 P.S. him calling her MARION (gut-wrenching), Crochan history (very curious), etc. IT’S JUST ALL SO INTRIGUING! … Now if we could only have an empowering crossover so she can go talk to Feyre & realize she’s already intelligent, powerful, & capable, & not being able to read has no effect on that!! (while we’re at it & I’m on a crow comparison kick; go hug Wylan please).

Another team up I didn’t expect but surprisingly loved most was Dorian & Rowan’s roadtrip through Rifthold (new movie adaptation idea?😂):

Dorian, Dorian, Dorian where do I begin? — I love him. I think he might be the most morally grounded character (odd as that sounds for someone that was recently possessed). He would be a good king, because most important he’s just a good man. My heart breaks for him, he’s seen a lot without time or space to deal with it (it’s just adding up; “The latter, Dorian realized, usually happened when even the heat and sun couldn't drive away the shadows of the past few months—when he awoke with his sweat feeling like Sorscha's blood, when he couldn't abide even the brush of his tunic against his neck.”); yet he still gives everything he can to his friends, his people, his country (& Rowan gives & takes care of him too (another Aelin paralell/foreshadowing; “"You're not going to believe me," Aelin went on. "What l've just said, you're not going to believe me. I know it--and that's fine. I don't expect you to. When you're ready, I'll be here.”) ; “He wasn't sure whether to thank the Fae Prince for noticing or to hate him for the kindness.” — Because Rowan knows; “"You're going to hate the world, Dorian. You are going to hate yourself. You will hate your magic, and you will hate any moment of peace or happiness. But I had the luxury of a kingdom at peace and no one depending upon me. You do not."”); and somehow Dorian just remains good and kind even when the world is not. He may carry more, but it is never an excuse for him; he sets aside his pride, humbled, un-selfish, caring, and really trying. (remarkable enough that even Rowan notices & takes note; “I have known many kings in my life, Dorian Havilliard. And it was a rare man indeed who asked for help when he needed it, who would put aside pride.”) And I also appreciate that he is cared for in this, seen for who he is; respected in it (FINALLY said quite well in: “Rowan knew most underestimated the sharp intelligence under that disarming smile. Knew that Dorian's value wasn't his godlike magic, but his mind”)

And getting the friends & care he deserves, like Aelin who kept her word “I came back for you. "You both came back,"” (he is her friend, she does care for him) as it’s shown because she went so far as to send Rowan (someone she would NEVER risk; “"I will save him," he murmured. "I wouldn't ask this of you unless it was ... Dorian is vital. Lose him, and we lose any support in Adarlan." And one of the few magic-wielders who could stand against Morath. Rowan's nod was grim. "I serve you, Aelin. Do not apologize for putting me to use." Because only Rowan, riding the winds with his magic, could reach Rifthold in time. Even now, he might be too late. Aelin swallowed hard, fighting the feeling that the world was being ripped from under her feet.” (When she says “losing support” she pauses; because really it’s about losing Dorian her friend, remember she’s always coming from the mindset of “she will not write another name on her scars” almost to the level of her “I will not be afraid mantra” fading in from QoS in this first EoS quarter) so she wouldn’t risk him even in leaving her side (which props to Maas for breaking a typical VERY possessive YA trait; even at the cost of a promise-ish from the last book; “Next time we need to save the world, we do it together. Deal.”). & keeps keeping that promise to save him; not only to keep her word, but keep her friend. Along the way he so easily becomes Rowan’s friend, thawing the ice by just being a decent guy (that says a lot for a centuries old Prince of stoic brooding). I love the genuine respect they have for each other; the time they take (even short as it is) to have a mini-boat therapy session because they needed it; it says a lot about the two of them as good men; the way they help each-other, plan & train together (Dorian even has time to understand Aelin’s time away with a new compassion😅😅 “Honestly, Dorian had no idea how Aelin had survived months of this--let alone fallen in love with the warrior while she did. Though he supposed both the queen and prince possessed a sadistic streak that made them compatible” & even see Rowan get a taste of the Celaena Sardothien world & find he has similar sass). vice-versa you also see someone valuing Rowan’s strength, strategy, personality beyond warrior or prince, without any of this “male pride chest-puffing instinct”. And the way despite the change in new healthier friendships you also have the original ones growing with them “"And will keep changing," she said, squeezing his arm once. "But... There are things that won't change. I will always be your friend." His throat bobbed. "I wish I could see her, just one last time. To tell her... to say what was in my heart." "She knows," Aelin said, blinking against the burning in her eyes. "I'll miss you," Dorian said. "Though I doubt the next time we meet will be in such …civilized circumstances." She tried not to think about it. He gestured over her shoulder to her court. "Don't make them too miserable. They're only trying to help you."” It helps both him and them; like the team they need to be & are finding a way in: “"We'll figure it out." She loosed a breath. "But your being king is the first step of it."” Like the Queens & Kings they have been becoming for a world slowly building; starting with the fact he is one of the good men that do exist (like Nehemia & Celaena said) and as already shown: “Ten years later, and they were all sitting together at a table again--no longer children, but rulers of their own territories. Ten years later, and here they were, friends despite the forces that had shattered and destroyed them. Aelin looked at the kernel of hope glowing in that dining room and lifted her glass. "To a new world," the Queen of Terrasen said. The King of Adarlan lifted his glass, such endless shadows dancing in his eyes, but--there. A glimmer of life. "To freedom."” esp. as he helps raise up women in positions of power to do so as well! (We love a King ally)

Much like Aelin growing into a queen you see the shift as Dorian becomes a King. “Never again. Never again would he be weak and useless and frightened.” (From a quote I appreciated and found Nesta paralells in). “To her surprise, a king smiled back.” And I just hope somewhere along the way Dorian also finds his happy ending much like our queen is slowly finding a way too (like Rowan said; “You will find your way, too, Dorian. You'll find your way out.”); I think Manon is promising, I think he finally has a real family, & he’s learning his power which is good; his already Kingly skills also come in handy, they needed a diplomat. And for two characters I love so much, a genre that rarely shows good friendships between so many characters and guys having emotions and bonding beyond a love interest trope… I just loved it! p.s. thanks again @ mysterylilycheeta for fandoming about this one with me (and many others :-)

Now speaking of Dorian quotes (plus I needed a transition lol) much like Dorian I do sometimes miss Chaol; “"You know," he said, "sometimes I wish Chaol were here to help me. And then sometimes I'm glad he's not, so he wouldn't be at risk again. I'm glad he's in Antica with Nesryn.”while also being glad he’s off somewhere else… not just ‘cause of the injury (I actually hope they don’t make that THE “problem”, at least in the sense of making him “useless”. While healing in a magical realm is a useful skill, representation of disabled characters in the read world is also really important & still super kick-ass & powerful)… So, I’m glad he’s gone not for that but for the fact I think his mentality would conflict right now (& while Aelin isn’t always right; & does sometimes need a check as Aedion aforementioned & does this at least better thank Chaol in timing & how) + most of the time ya kinda need to just “keep calm & trust the process” because while “the gods may have some “masterplan” & only Aelin can outsmart & outplan them (you just have to let her go for it)… and hopefully Elide will be there to help soon!

Now speaking of good friends, & the rest of this post from “threads of fate”, to really loving characters, friendships, relationships (even most of my favorite quotes) it’s time to address THE SHIP because there is ROWAELIN. TRULY WHERE DO I START? I love them. They are perfect. Nothing can break them (Nothing better try). I love the peace & hope they hold for the other (they want more together, for each other; to live.). The balance they carry; especially when one is down, the other lifts them up (even rapidly flipping; I’m a few Chapters into Part 2 (spoiler sentence)🚨 & there’s the moment where it goes from her being on fire & him waking her from her nightmares, to him so panicked to save her he’s freezing the room & she’s soothing him). The way they are so alike, & shown even more so (as I’ve briefly mentioned) in this book (Rowan having some Celaena moments, her taking on a leader & diplomatic role, learning to control water & him teaching her to heal, exploring each others histories & a growing team of friends for & with them) & VERY different (they are the balance even in what they do share; for instance a scene I think on frequently: when Rowan leaves to go get Dorian, and Aelin cannot let him go. Right there she uses very specific words; she does not ask him to stay instead she says she cannot let him go; because she knows asking him to stay (like Lyria had begged) would kill him or telling him “he’s leaving her” would utterly destroy them both. And he does the same; he distracts her (knows what she needs) takes a moment for them (stops the clock) kisses her and then leaves before she opens her eyes in a flash, so she does not have to watch him leave (again), or (be the one to) walk away from him (he knows she already used all of her will to even have him go in the first place, she cannot ask anything more or she will not ask at all), or run again. They both are feeling the same thing, while understanding the differences they have experienced, they take the notice to love the other the way they need & the only way they can). Part of it stems from something I’ve adressed on the blog before, the honesty they share; and desperately needed. Or have discussed with other fans in beyond that the fact they trust, they can have it all on the table, and respect what has to be kept. Part is the fact they are the others soulmate (waiting for those words: “mate” to “officially” & finally seal what we ALL know by now😂). Another being the threads of fate every character keeps seeing; they are VERY tightly bound beyond separation; for better or worse a tangled knot that can not be undone.

The way in that they would fight by the others side, live & die together, for each-other. They would save the world for each-other (like Rowan jumping in front of the moonfire because he knew her fiery soul; “"No!" The word was a roar, a plea, and silver and green flashed in her vision. A name. A name clanged through her as he hurled himself in the path of that fist, that moonfire, not just to save those innocents in the city, but to spare her soul from the agony if she destroyed them all-Rowan.” — “"If you had destroyed that city, it would have destroyed you, and any sort of hope at an alliance."”) It goes beyond taking a bullet for the other, it goes to taking a bullet from the other (you see that side a lot in HoF). They would save the other for the world (like he says, the world needs alliances; because he knows it needs her, his queen). Or the other from the world; “And as his face became clear, his tattoo stark in the sun, as that fist full of unimaginable power now opened toward his heart-There was no force in any world that could keep her contained.” Together, to whatever end. They would even destroy it for the other; “But if it was death separating us … I would find you. I don’t care how many rules it would break. Even if I had to get all three keys myself and open a gate, I would find you again. Always.” They deserve something that’s an always, known, world & gods defying. And while I appreciate the way they defend each other, I also appreciate the way they defend their friends together; it may be them to whatever end, but it’s also not just them against the world (more so for the world?) they may be capable of destroying the world for each other, still they choose to give everything to save it. They choose each other, they continue to do so, to accept, to be honest. “Even if this thing between them ... even if he knew it was not mere lust, or even just love. This thing between them, the force of it, could devour the world. And if they picked it, picked them, it might very well cause the end of it.” they have a powerful love (one that is quite literally more powerful together). I love that scene too, the carranam; the way he steadies her (he knows why the manacles scare her, knows how to help her breathe despite it; “she is not afraid”), trusts her (she could kill them both, but he believes in her, always has, even before she believed in herself) gives her his power (talk about a feminist ally😂 he literally uses his power to give her more power), and she blazes the world (better & worse); she trusts him enough for the irons (something she may have killed someone else for), she trusts his trust in her (it empowers her metaphorically too), trusts him to save her from herself; trusts him which as this line shows; “"You trust nothing. She met his eyes. "I trust you."” is almost a miracle in itself. I love the easy rhythm they fall into like breathing, simple domesticity (even among war), natural understanding (soulmates), gentle unconditional stubborn & unchanging love that simply is. & is accepted as such. Learning more of their history in parallels & new perspectives, tales & legends, chaos & opposites (especially opposed in power) FIRE & ICE and remains the “meant to be” Carranam; though one of a kind it also understands itself in being love among grief, giving it the ability to see & soothe the unhealthy internal monologues… in a way that’s honestly kinda healing to read; I love their quotes, I love their scenes, I love their characters, I just love them.

It’s been fun to see more Aelin as Aelin, (and I’m not meaning “The one in green smiled, but for all its delight, all its wicked mischief ... It was a softer smile, made with a mouth that was perhaps less used to snarling and teeth-baring and getting away with saying hideous, swaggering things. Lysandra, then. The two queens faced Rolfe.” Lysandra twin-swap scene 😂) the way Celaena is now recognized as a part to play; “You met Aelin when she was still pretending to be Celaena” — “Because it was Celaena who sat here-for whatever purpose, it was Celaena Sardothien in this room.” from the way Rowan helped & accepted her all along. Rowan has always been her protector, her guard, her best champion, fiercest warrior & love, her dearest friend, her everything. It’s the one that saw all & loved anyways “to have one person who knew the absolute truth about her--and didn't hate her for it.” — “I see you, I see every part of you. And I am not afraid.” he is not afraid of her; the first time she’s ever had that… Something she desperately needs as someone so fear-based… She went from being a child who was never not afraid; she was taught to fear her power, fear the secret coming free, because she would be persecuted; because her people would not love her for what she was; she was protected against it and taught her powers weren’t to be trusted. She spent so long burying herself… Arobynn taught her that; created a world of only that for her to exist in, only to survive never to live. And as I’ve said before I LOVE SAM, I truly think he would have accepted her without flinching (I love & believe in the many soulmates for many lives theories; he was Celaena’s) but over & over again the saddest four words of almost they never had time. Thinking someone would love you “even if” is different that getting to experience it, she was still afraid he would turn her in or turn away, he would judge her as she judged herself, or didn’t know “how dark she could go”; like he was too good and she would drag him down. And here is Rowan: the one person who could stop her (the dark comfort she takes in knowing he could save the world if she endangered it; “That is how I was able to stand before the King of Adarlan, how I was able to befriend his son and his captain, how I was able to live in that palace. Because I did not give that rage, those memories, one inch. And right now I am looking for the tools that might destroy my enemy, and I cannot let out the monster, because it will make me use those tools against the king, not put them back as I should--and I might very well destroy the world for spite. So that is why l must be Celaena, not Aelin--because being Aelin means facing those things, and unleashing that monster. Do you understand?”) and doesn’t think that of her; “For whatever it's worth, I don't think you would destroy the world from spite.”

To the moment on the beach that strikes me again & again; Aelin in her rawest state (inner child & traumatized immortal), sobbing, unclothed (a very important detail not because of the rest of Chapter 38 spice but because of the psychological component; she is stripped down to her core at her worst, most vulnerable, visibly terrified uncomfortable state; it’s more like a nightmare of giving a speech & realizing your the only one without clothes), on fire (no hidden power or sense of control), unleashing an entire storm (after almost destroying the world; her world; even against her will); because she is Aelin Ashryver Galathynius “the rightful heir of fire” and Queen of Terrasen; she has been “Adarlans Assassin” & a “King’s Champion” Lillian, Elentiya, Celaena… all of these names… and yet, she is still afraid. And she cannot stop it; she is trying & failing, feeling every step backwards for every step she takes, she is running to nowhere, she is lost. And then there is Rowan. Rowan, who walked to the creak to see her, and went loudly so she would know & not be afraid. Rowan who knows when she needs to let off steam (literally) & has been burned & still does not turn away from her. Rowan who now is “silent as death” because he knows her mind is already screaming enough for the both of them. Rowan who follows her; over & over, unflinching, returning, staying, seeing, & still believing in her (even before she believed in herself; even when she cannot). She is begging for anyone that listens to take the job & all its “blessings & burdens of power”, wishing for a bottom to the endless abyss of her power, drowning in it; helpless in her own strength, because she does not trust herself (how can she when she can’t even be herself; not just Celaena; but Deanna), trying to run from herself. And Rowan who sees, hears, knows; and only cares about her. Choosing her. Loving her. Telling her those words. Arguing against the voices in her head for her; making her feel for a moment that maybe somehow she’s worth it (or at least too lucky to care even if she’s not). Because he has every reason to go; he knows what he could lose (even as they stand there; he is still shaken & terrified; he just saw a god steal the woman he loves from her own mind; he has no idea how to fight that & bring her back) He has lost that; felt it for centuries The world may be the price, they may be the price, they are in the middle of a war waged & waiting for hundreds of years; and he does not care. He only cares about her; better & worse. And she is not alone; never again. Reminding her that she can be both, staying on the road. As he says (a quote that made me cry): “You and I will learn to manage your power together. You do not face this alone; you do not decide that you are unlovable because you have powers that can save and destroy. If you start to resent that power… I don’t know where we go on that road.” And when she voices it, that fear (that brought me to tears); you’re just crazy for loving me.“"Because I'm the only one arrogant and insane enough to ask Mala Fire-Bringer to let me stay with the woman I love. Her flames turned to pure gold at the words-at that word. But she said, "Perhaps you're just the only one arrogant and insane enough to love me."” He simply, firmly, undoubtably, says no. … And when the times comes; when he creates a snow storm of his own (& destroys half a forrest😂) she just laughs, holds him closer, kisses him again. As she says; “who would not look at those flames with any ounce of fear.” as anyone else would have. They aren’t afraid of each other, they aren’t afraid, not together. “But Rowan had caught her each time she had fallen-first, when she had plummeted into that abyss of despair and grief; second, when that castle had shattered and she had plunged to the earth. And now this time, this third time ... She was not afraid.”

And because they are equal, because they will go to whatever end, because they pull each other back over & over whenever/wherever they drift. (And while I love Lyria, I believe she was one of his soulmates) I don’t think anyone ever understood him so well in return… Rowan loved Lyria. Lyria wanted him to stay for good reason, but he was not able to tire to rest to settle; she did not understand the warrior; just as he couldn’t understand enough not to be. Where peace was never quite had, the warrior that could not rest; there is Aelin. Who just goes to war with him, for him, for them. She is his hope, his queen, his love, his world, his fireheart🥹, & his everything (& thankfully NOT because of the blood-oath; “"How does she do it?" Aelin asked baldly. "With Rowan, it's not ... Every order I give him, even casual ones, are his to decide what to do with. Only when I actively pull on the bond can I get him to ... yield. And even then it's more of a suggestion." "It is different with her," Gavriel said softly. "Dependent on the ruler it is sworn to. You two took the oath to each other with love in your hearts. You had no desire to own or rule him." Aelin tried not to flinch at the truth of that word—love. That day ... when Rowan had looked into her eyes as he drank her blood ... she'd started to realize what it was. That the feeling that passed between them, so powerful there was no language to describe it ... It was not mere friendship, but something born of and strengthened by it.” glad they clarified that to give consent). I’ve said this about them before and I’ll say it again there is something healing in how wholly they accept and understand each other (to the point you would think they are reading minds), how evenly matched and equal they are. They are two of the best matched characters I know of; at times even to a fault (but even that is taken in stride). Aelin and Rowan are everything they have ever been with the other. This isn’t a comparison, there’s something beautiful to each of them (I’ll even still say that to Dorian & Aelin, the way their friendship came to be, and re-reads what might have been) there is just the fact that this is different and I think it’s a special kind of something. And the fact in the matching for the other they can go to the ends of the earth together; whether it be as Queen and Prince (though he would make a good king ;-) or assassins, gentle souls trying to rest, never at rest but trying for peace, fae and shifters fire and ice, warriors, martyrs, saviors, villains, Kings Champion & Maeve’s Cadre, friends, mates, whatever it may be “to whatever end”.

I especially love them in the little things… all these moments that show everything I’ve said and more.

The detail in Rowan knowing the other side to Aelin keeping him at the beach, and it not taking away from the moment. He knows, he accepts it. They know the layers, they don’t pretend otherwise, they don’t run or fight it, they just sit with it. The way he held her & grounded her during the sea battle, believing in her even as she lost her balance in power, the way she came back from Deanna for him, the way she held on to him through the storm. She reminds him what he is; that he is everything she needs, she doesn’t take the bullshit, she doesn’t give up; she lends a hand, or lets him follow, or defends him. And they finally said it; I love you. — Actually better than that, worlds best quote award of: “I love you. There is no limit to what I can give to you, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you.”They finally chose this, them; and the world needed it (I will go down with the ship of them as queen and king). … So, my shippers heart is happy, I want more, I’m happy they’re happy, I want them to stay happy. They are the best brightest threads of fate & for a book I’ve loved to see tie together, the Rowaelin ship has been pretty perfect.

And some random notes I keep wondering on:

The color green in this series… From Lysandra’s eyes (the one marker she keeps in each form; funny as it’s also Terrasen (her future Courts) color, to Rowan’s pine green (& often “home” like Terrasen descriptions (once again)) to the green roofing of Rifthold, or tiling of the desert, the stolen wax stamp rings, Terrasen’s color, etc. … it’s just used to tell a lot of story & I find it a fun note!

On the subject of these “fun notes” I’d also like to Mention Maasverse “deals” in wording; I find it so interesting how carefully phrased (like a genie) things need to be, yet kept to their word they are. I feel like there’s some loopholes within some plots right now using that clause (if only there was Mort to prove it!)… I miss Mort…

There’s all of Lysandra’s shapeshifting, the character in that, her character all together. And then moments like Rowan reaching her to fly, to have her own wings. And introducing more powers outside of fae.

Fenyrs possible… winnowing? Whatever reason it was that Rowan sent him to save Aelin instead of himself (obviously meaning he was more capable because Rowan would save her any means necessary).

And these aforementioned threads of fate are pretty brilliantly done, I look forward to continuing to enjoy them. From Oakwald to 10 years ago to the detail of plans (Aelin going to the temple, for Brannon & the Dragon, & her territory claim… etc.)… SO MANY!!!

Especially because of YOU!..

— Final, biggest most important book/fandom thought yet: —

THANK YOU to the Maasverse!

As someone who doesn’t know anyone reading these —one of my favorite things to do is talk about them with other fans— I’m thankful to still have that; I’m thankful that tumblr has that; and thankful that y’all are so welcoming, kind, talented, & lovely! (Limiting full tags as this post is ridiculously long and no one should “have” to read it😂)

There’s a long list of you, to name a few (others please know you are still on the list, loved & appreciated)!! @ archerons-elain @ highladyelenna @ iwantavaldezinator @ romantasyreader28 @ antvwinderbaum @ shadowhunters77 @ chaos-on-stand-bi @ theauroragalaxy @ impossibelle @ aelin-fire-heart @ autumnbabylon @ headboymalfoy @ somebooksbelonginthesinbin @ idfendyr @ winged-artistic-wolf @ batter-upp @ cheap-spirits @ just tsteffs50cts @ xxvalkyriesxx @ captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @ lynnsthoughts @ maevecrom @ stingy-swann @ mothlvrtothemoon @ wannaberachelgrxxn @ sweetokami @ avymiir

& so if I missed any, like I said just know you are so appreciated🫶 … and sorry I get confused sometimes (as this is technically a secondary blog to @lavendarneverlands lol😂). It’s always me though🤣

[not-goldy]

We know JK didnt write the songs from his album, but he made very clear in interviews that he made sure to look for translations of the lyrics and to learn what the songs are saying before choosing them.

Oh so he got all translations and understood very well but still went with those fuck ass songs like 3D ? There's a line between sexy/explicit songs vs vulgar songs. 3D was very vulgar with many appropriate comparisons about women and sex... and JK still chose to sing them and include in his album. Forget they are all about him fucking women and orgasm but I thought he said none of songs is about him personally? Or is 'jikook song' narrative is only when it feeds the delusions ?

I love that this is what is stressing you out🤣🤣🤣

Let's get somethings straight..... pun intended

The Jungkook wrote a het song narrative was beget by you and yours- I and other 'Jikookers' debunked it and Jungkook confirmed our assertion that he DIDN'T write it.

So you and yours delulu point number one.

Check mark please.

Now here you are spinning the narrative into well he understood the lyrics blah blah blah blah 🙄

To that I say, OF COURSE HE DID.

We, the true stans of captain private Jungkook do know, BEEN KNEW, been always aware of the FACT he does check out the lyrics to the songs he covers and sings and he always understands what it is that he sings about or recommends.

Which is why we've always said he's queer coded as fuck because of certain covers certain song choices certain artistic lens and expressional point of views- he may not have written there for you but he sure as hell understood what the song meant its romantic connotations, it's queer artist and its queer codes and he superimposed that on Jimin as the object of his lens.

BOY I'm holding on to something won't let go of you for nothing. I'm running running just to keep my hands on you- is pretty much a rewrite of standing next to you one would say. Or perhaps the vice versa.

Jungkook is drawn to certain themes in music either gay or straight and he's selected one that talks about boy love gay love as layover over a footage of another man he filmed- I'm glad we can agree, you and I that that is something because he is neither ignorant of or stupid to know how such a content would be understood by the General public especially those outside Korea.

So I do agree with you, all jikookers agree with you that Jungkook checks out the lyrics of the songs, that he understands what they mean yadda yadda yadda.

The only delusional person I see here, is the individuals who fail to read any queer meanings into GCF tokyo and the many other queer coded moments of Jikook- wait that's you isn't it?????

Oh and FYI, we also know he's dated WUHMEN in the past and said he didn't particularly enjoy it or understand what the hype was about and never felt real love while dating the girlies.

Yet I think he found real love with Park Jimin and it knocked him off his feet. Gay love. Mh mh mhh

Love it for him.

Edit: and in case you missed the point here, 3D is a very commercial project not very personal to him. He had to choose and do what will sell....

Compared to a personal projects such as GCF in Tokyo where he didn't care how it was going to be received by fans or the commercial market- hell when he was advised to choose another member to generate clout and buzz he refused. He chose a gay song for that instead to promote same love.

That's how personal it was for him. No?

So there's that. What do you think about that too?

[maxfandoms]

Night & Day and breaking character's false beliefs

Hi, Hello *picks themselves off the floor* I finally think I'm sane enough to talk about Night & Day and what happened in episode 10 without going TOTALLY insane

The first thing I want talk about is a character false belief, which is a thing that character considers true in their point of view, one of Day's false belief is that Night care is not genuine and everything he does is to please his mom.

When it comes to the false belief, most times, it goes in one of two ways depending on the type of story: The character ends up encounters stuff that confirms that belief or oppose that belief until they have to rethink what they used to belief. Last Twilight goes with the latter route

The first thing that Night does is get Day a phone so he can communicate with Mhok (Also he other friends but it mostly so he can talk to Mhok whenever he wants to)

Latter we learn that Day's has a new number, which means that this is most likely a new phone so Night went out of his way to buy his younger brother a phone (the image of Night in a store buying a phone makes makes me cry like a newborn)

*BAM* The first real shake is done in Day's false belief because their mom is against Mhok & Day's relationship ergo if Night was only keeping a facade he wouldn't have given him any help and Day's realizes this!

The biggest one is right after Night's leaves the room and Day's overhears the conversation between K'Mon and when he hears the mom being awful, Day has the realization that Night continues to be the same in the eyes of the mom (maybe even worse now).

Day has to deal that the idea that he had of Night after the accident was wrong and how that would impact the whole "blaming Night for the accident" feelings. And in the next day, I assume

Day goes down to eat, something he didn't do ever since Mhok left, it clear that he doesn't know yet totally what his feelings.

One thing to keep in my mind, when it comes to P'Aof that I see a lot of, he uses one of my favorite metaphors foods = care. Especially here in Last Twilight. There's a reason that Mhok in learning to care for Day learns more about food and starts to become a chef. Also with the mom taking the time to make food (which is something that I will talk about in another post)

And why I am saying that? Well it's because of the next few minutes

So Day is still weakly holding on to his last believe until

Night gives his plate that he had just heat it up and it's such a unconsciously behavior that it can only be read in one way I CARE ABOUT YOU

Day's false belief is broken, however we still have Night who has his own false belief that his recklessness and mistakes led to him losing his good relationship with his brother.

So Day is shaken and tense, until he know he cannot take anymore and need to say something even if its own Day way

Okay, let me break down this while trying not cry:

Day is his own way is saying that his brother is deserving of good food, something that would taste good

Combine that with the food = care metaphor and you have the subtle I still care about you too (and a sobbing Max)

That admission shakes Night, also that's probably the first time that Day didn't came with aggression right away since the accident so he doesn't know what to do and the hurt the mom caused it probably still fresh.

*Bam* First crack in Night's belief but he play it off normally and Day's as well until the "I forgive you" which is something that even Day's is surprise that he said it

But when he stops and thinks he is come up with the fact that whatever anger was there before its gone and that it feel right to say those words and make sure that Night knows it

This is the big one when it comes to Night's false belief, the thing Night thought it could never happen, Day said with all letters that whatever blame Day's put onto Night, he forgave him

Like a domino effect when Night vocalizes how much that meant for him, we have Day settle in without his false belief

But in the same way that we had three actions to destroy the false belief of Day. we also had three for Night which comes when Day tells Night about their dad and starts to playfully banter with his brother

LOOK AT THOSE EYES. This is it, Night false belief is shaken because when Day jokes with Night, is his way of reaching out and tell Night that he does want to try and have a good relationship with him.

We also have a moment where Night is settle in without his false belief and at the same time his also letting go of his guilt

For the first time in a year (or maybe more) they are being brothers and having a laughter and helping each other destroy their false belief and REALIZE THAT THEY ALWAYS DID LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH

[running-with-the-feels]

saw a post on twitter about how in mkx kuai liang bowed to hanzo the japanese way and prepared tea in the japanese way as well as the utmost sign of respect what are your thoughts 🎤‼️

oooooooo my god do I have thoughts

Basically, that scene is my roman empire, and it lives in my brain Rent Free.

I think that Kuai Liang was just going out of his way to make Hanzo as comfortable as possible. Like he knows where they are, he knows how hard being here must be for Hanzo given what the Lin Kuei did so he's doing literally anything he can think of to say "I am not a threat, please hear me out"

I think he's also trying to soften the blow as much as possible, like there's no way to make telling Hanzo about the truth of what Quan Chi did not hurt, but Kuai Liang is trying so hard not to be cruel about it.

So he tries to show Hanzo by bowing the japanese way and preparing the tea in the japanese way that he wants this to be a chance to communicate, that he respects the pyromancer and his clan enough to learn at least part of their customs so that Hanzo feels a little bit less like he's just walked into a trap.

And the thing is, it works! You can see that even tho Hanzo is doubtful and suspicious of wtf is going on (and honestly that is a very fair reaction to the situation), he's listening to Kuai Liang. He's trying to hear the guy out!

It's also pretty clear that Kuai Liang is comfortable with the motions of preparing the tea, like there's no hesitation or fumbling (which might just be bc the game designers didn't want to deal with animating that but I choose to read into it anyways) so its obvious that he practiced this. He wanted to get it right!

And I just can't help but wonder what else Kuai Liang had in place to try and ease communication between them, to try and make Hanzo more comfortable. Like, did he find any Shirai Ryu items that had been taken as trophies and intend to return them (bc lbr, the Lin Kuei def took trophies)? Was he going to offer to let Hanzo stay the night? Like what was the rest of his plan had Frost not intervened?

Like Kuai Liang went so far out of his way to show Hanzo "I mean you no harm, I just want to talk" in the most polite and respectful way he could and Hanzo sees that! It's why he's so confused during the whole interaction bc to him it doesn't make sense. Kuai Liang should, rightfully, hate him.

And, just a side note, I don't think Hanzo ever blamed Kuai Liang for trying to kill him that one time. Like, Hanzo wasn't gonna let him, but he knows that he killed Kuai Liang's brother, so I think he understands why Kuai Liang hates him so much. It's why (as I read into it, this isn't confirmed) he doesn't kill the cryomancer in the mkx blood ties comics, and instead just leaves him there to bleed to death (dick move tho) bc he doesn't want to kill him. He just wants their feud to stop, bc he doesn't have any quarrel with Kuai Liang.

He might not like the Lin Kuei, but the ones responsible for what happened to him are dead, and by now I think he'd have figured out that Kuai Liang wasn't involved. So he's not trying to be the guy's best friend, but part of him doesn't want to be his enemy any more (I have so many thoughts about that whole interaction too, like that is my second Roman Empire)

But, back to the topic at hand:

The thing is, no one would have expected Kuai Liang to do all that. No one would have ever expected him to try so hard or be so kind about it. He now has proof that Hanzo did the very thing he's been accused of for years, he killed Bi-Han unjustly. Kuai Liang would have been well within his rights to simply send Hanzo that information some other way, without ever facing him.

Hell, he'd be pretty justified in just killing Hanzo over it bc all of these characters seem to agree that vengeance and justice are about the same thing (I mean, canon is slightly more nuanced than that, but that's the general gist of it).

And i think Hanzo knows that, and a part of him almost wants Kuai Liang to do it after he finds out.

but he doesn't

Instead, Kuai Liang offers him an alliance and an apology for what the Lin Kuei did (which, btw, I know we see real regret from Hanzo in that same scene but he does owe Kuai Liang an actual apology with actual words) and lets their feud end. Kuai Liang takes informatoon that would drive anyone else mad with rage and grief (*cough* Hanzo *cough*) and instead chooses to be kind.

I really wonder what that scene would have looked like if Frost hadn't interrupted, if she had trusted Kuai Liang to make the right choice and just let it happen.

How would that change their relationship and its development?

How would Kuai Liang have broken the news?

What else had he planned to say and would Hanzo have listened?

Roman empire guys, roman empire

[sebstanaddict]

Love Song

Sebastian Stan x Female Reader Story

Summary : A romantic comedy story between Sebastian Stan and female reader where we witness their journey after they said I do.

Reader thought Sebastian was still the selfish man he was for not being able to come to his own daughter's birthday party. But he surprised her and managed to come after all, confirming his true love for her. However, his arrival wasn't as perfect as she thought and everything went wrong when the true reason of his attendance came to light.

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters : 22/23 (might add more)

Chapter List >

Warning : Fluff, non vulgar smut, angst

Word count : 12.1k

This is a sequel to my first Sebastian fanfic Always You. If you want to understand more about Sebastian's and reader's relationship, please read it first. But it's not necessary to understand this story. Check it here.

---

Chapter 22 - Just Give Me A Reason

Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

Just Give Me A Reason - Pink

---

La Venta Dr, Poway, California - July 13th 2023 - 3 pm

Time seemed to stop as she gazed at him. Nothing and no one seemed to matter but him. The man whom she had never stopped loving since the first time she laid eyes on him 22 years ago. She should have known, she should have guessed. He really was the one for her. He really was the love of her life. He really did love her and him being there proved that.

She forgot that there were a lot of people around them. She put her cellphone in her pocket and immediately ran to him. He stood up after setting Starlene down gently on the grass. He smiled at her and opened his arms wide for her.

She jumped into his arms like a caught fish that was out of the water and somehow found its way back into the water. He was her life, he was her oxygen, and she didn't know how she could've lived without him for all this time.

Her arms looped around his neck and both her legs wrapped around his waist as she buried her face on the crook of his neck. He had his arms around her waist, his nose buried in her hair as they savored the moment of finally being together again.

"You're here.. you're here.. you're really here." she said into his ear, her nose inhaling his signature scent and the usual cologne he wore. Oh how much she missed that about him.

"I'm here.. I'm really here.. sweetheart." He replied gently.

Tears started to pool in her eyes as she leaned back and stared at his smiling face.

"But I thought you had a re-shoot today?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh it's a long story. I'll tell you later." He smiled.

She smiled back and for a moment everything seemed perfect. He leaned closer to her, glancing at her lips, then with a swift movement he captured her lips in his, making her lose her breath.

Home, she was finally home. She would never trade it for anything else. They kissed each other deeply, passionately and for a moment she just let herself drown in him.

"Ahem.." a deep male voice cleared his throat.

They stopped kissing immediately and she jumped down from his arms only to find Anthony Mackie, standing next to them, carrying Starlene in his arms and staring at her with a twinkle in his eyes.

"You two need to get a room." He snickered.

"Oh Anthony, shut it." Sebastian said, laughing.

"Anthony, how are you?" She asked, her face reddened as she gave Anthony a hug.

"Much better now that we're here. I'm getting sick of hearing him moping about how you don't love him anymore." He chuckled.

"Anthony!" Sebastian scolded him.

She laughed as she heard Anthony.

"Oh but it's true, honey. I was going insane not knowing if you still loved me or not." Sebastian said, pouting at her while his hand snaked around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"Oh Seb. Well, now that you're here I can confidently say that.." she started to say but she stopped as she looked at the figures walking towards them right behind where Anthony was standing.

Her eyes widened as she registered the people walking towards them. Apparently Sebastian had come with his Thunderbolts co-stars. She saw Wyatt Russell, David Harbour, Florence Pugh, Steven Yeun, Olga Kurylenko, Hannah John-Kamen, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Ayo Edebiri and the person with whom she was starstruck the most, Harrison Ford.

"Oh my God, Seb.. you invited them all to come here?!" She exclaimed, her jaw dropped to the floor.

"Uh.. yeah. They were all curious about you and wanted to meet you. And Harrison wanted to meet your dad." He chuckled.

"What have you been telling them about me?" She asked in suspicion.

"Oh nothing.. just that you're the most amazing woman in the world." He winked then gave her a kiss on her temple.

"Oh Seb." She said as she felt warmth crawling from her neck up to her face.

Each of Sebastian's co-stars took turns to shake her hand and Sebastian's mother's hand. It didn't take long for her father to realize they were there and he was so ecstatic to get to meet Harrison in person.

Eventually the party turned into a sudden meet and greet session as each of the party guests took turns to talk and take pictures with all of Sebastian's co-stars. But the most popular celebrity was of course Elmo AKA Sebastian. He took turns taking pictures with everyone in his complete Elmo costume as well as without the top part, delighting everyone.

It wasn't until Diane brought out some cupcakes and snacks that the crowd dispersed and everyone started to gather in smaller groups, chatting and enjoying the food.

Sebastian - who finally took off his Elmo costume because it made him sweat like a pig - and her were talking with Harrison Ford and her dad when Florence Pugh approached them.

"Excuse me.. sorry.. Sebastian, are we still going to do the thing we practiced before?" She asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh..umm.." Sebastian looked back towards Y/n, doubt in his eyes.

"Maybe we don't have to." He finally answered.

"Are you sure? I'd hate to waste that much time practicing only to find that we don't end up doing it." She said, the corners of her mouth turned downwards into a frown.

"Oh.. Flo.." He sighed.

"What are you guys talking about? What did you practice doing?" Y/n asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Uh.. nothing." Sebastian quickly replied.

"Oh c'mon, Sebastian. I already brought my guitar!" Florence pleaded.

"Guitar? Have you been practicing singing or something?" Y/n asked in delight.

"Uh.. yeah. I thought you might still be angry at me so I planned on singing something for you. Flo offered to help me in playing the guitar and be the backup singer." He said, his cheeks reddened.

"Oh my God, really? Well then I want to see it!" She said.

"You're gonna love it! We practiced singing four songs! It's gonna be a mash up!" Florence said excitedly.

"Well now I want to see it too!" Harrison chimed in.

"Yeah, come on son! We all want to see it!" Y/n's father piped up as he clapped Sebastian's shoulder in encouragement.

"Please Iubirea mea. I won't laugh at you. I promise." Y/n said, giving him puppy dog eyes.

"Oh alright. Since everyone seems to want to see me make a fool of myself. Fine." Sebastian said, making everyone laugh.

"Oh you're gonna be great. Don't be so humble." Florence scolded him.

"Now come on!" She said as she beckoned for him to come with her.

"Alright.. alright.." Sebastian nodded and he was met with enthusiastic whoops and cheers from Y/n, her father and Harrison.

Moments later he sat on a stool with Florence next to him on the make shift stage they had set up on the front porch. Florence had her guitar with her and she was tuning it while Sebastian took the time to speak to the guests.

"Hello everyone, good afternoon." He smiled.

"So, I.. uh.. have prepared a little performance for my beautiful wife." He said slowly as he gazed at her while everyone clapped and cheered.

"I wasn't going to do it because.. well.. honestly.. I'm not that good of a singer." He said but he was cut off.

"Oh bull..!" Anthony Mackie exclaimed out loud, making everyone laugh.

"Anyway, Florence talked me into it and my wife said she wouldn't laugh at me.. so.." he said and everyone laughed again.

She really loved this side of him. He really was a natural performer. He was just too shy and too humble sometimes.

"This is for you my beautiful queen." He said and he winked at her, making her heart skipped a beat.

Everyone clapped and cheered and a moment later the guests quieted down as Florence started to strum the first few notes of the song.

Y/n's heart did somersaults as she realized what song he was going to sing first. Yes, she usually heard the song in its original form and not the acoustic version, but she recognized the song anyway.

Summer came and left without a warning All at once I looked and you were gone And now you're looking back at me Searching for a way that we can be like we were before

He was singing Endless Summer Nights by Richard Marx! The memorable song that they danced to the night he first told her about how he felt about her. She closed her mouth with her hand as she felt a tear dropped from her eyes. He could be so romantic. Her heart swelled looking at him as he continued to sing.

Now I'm back to what I knew before you Somehow the city doesn't look the same I'd give my life for one more night Of having you here to hold me tight; oh, please Take me there again Oh, oh

Suddenly Florence changed the keys and added some more notes to the song and she ended up playing a different song. This must be the second song, she thought in awe.

And I swear

If you come back in my life I'll be there till the end of time Oh yeah (back to me, back to me, back into my life) And I swear I'll keep you right by my side 'Cause baby you're the one I want Oh yes you are (back to me, back to me, back into my life)

He was singing If You Come Back by Blue. She shook her head in awe and disbelief. Somehow the song fit perfectly both in lyrics and melody with the first song. Florence and Sebastian really did a good job.

I watched you go Takin' my heart with you, oh yes you did Every time I try to reach you on the phone Baby you're never there, girl you're never home

So if I did something wrong please tell me I want to understand 'Cause I don't want this love to ever end

Sebastian looked at her intently as he sang this part and she knew how sorry he was about what happened between them.

Once again Florence added some additional melody and the song progressed into a third song and everyone cheered. She felt tears streaming down her face as she figured out the next song he was singing. It was If You're Not The One by Daniel Bedingfield.

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away And I breathe you into my heart and Pray for the strength to stand today 'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right And though I can't be with you tonight You know my heart is by your side

He gazed at her intently when singing this part and she could feel the pain behind the words. She missed him terribly as well and all she wanted was just to go up there and hug him and tell him she missed him too.

Florence added more progression after this part and she strummed the notes for the next song. When she realized what the next song was, she felt her heart beat so fast and tears continued to stream down her face. The song was I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz.

And I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough I'm giving you all my love I'm still looking up

'Cause even the stars, they burn Some even fall to the earth We got a lot to learn God knows we're worth it No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make Our differences, they do a lot to teach us how to use The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake

And in the end you're still my friend, at least we did intend For us to work, we didn't break, we didn't burn We had to learn how to bend, without the world caving in I had to learn what I got and what I'm not And who I am

She cried as she heard him sing this part. How so very true to their situation the lyrics were. She couldn't helped but be touched so deeply by them.

I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough I'm giving you all my love I'm still looking up I'm still looking up

She clapped hard as Sebastian and Florence finally finished performing the mash up. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she stood up and gave them a standing ovation and everyone else followed suit.

He sang that he won't give up and she won't either. He loved her with all his heart and she loved him too. So she went to the stage and without caring that everyone were staring at them, she sat on his lap and hugged him tight, startling him.

It felt as if there were only the two of them in the world as they embraced each other tight while everyone cheered around them.

"I love you Sebastian Stan." She whispered into his ear.

"I love you more my love, my sweet Y/n Stan." He whispered back, making her smile.

---

She thought everything was perfect that day as she watched him play with Starlene on the bouncy castle. But she should have known that nothing in the world was perfect and that day was no exception.

She was sitting on the front porch, sipping an iced tea when Florence sat next to her, bringing a glass of iced tea herself.

"Mmm.. this is so good. What did you put in it?" Florence asked after she took a sip.

"It's peach tea. It's sweet and refreshing isn't it?" She turned to look at Florence and smiled.

"It is. I usually just go for Jasmine or green tea. But I like this one too." She smiled.

"Oh I love Jasmine and green tea too. But I figured I should serve something different today." She responded.

"And I love everything you've served. The food was all yummy. The cupcakes especially. I love the chocolate one." Florence commented.

"Oh yeah. My stepmom made the cupcakes. She used to work at a bakery and I just absolutely love her cupcakes!" She gushed.

"Oh that explains it! I thought they weren't home made. They seemed professionally baked."

She smiled. "They were. We used a high end mixer and she has this special oven to bake them in that is the same brand as the one in the bakery she used to work in."

"Well that explains it even more." Florence chuckled.

"Anyway, your husband is one of a kind. You're really lucky." She continued.

"Oh thank you. Yeah, he can be such a romantic." She smiled again proudly.

"He never stops talking about his daughter and you when we're on set. Starlene this Starlene that, or Y/n this Y/n that. In the end everyone was dying to meet you and Starlene." Florence chuckled and she couldn't help but felt her heart swell at her words.

"I mean, we all hate that the writer's strike happened so that we had to quit production. But if it weren't for the strike we wouldn't be here." Florence continued.

"What? Writer's strike?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah. Since the script for Thunderbolts evolves on set, you know Jake sometimes want to add or take away things and we sometimes do some improvs on set. But because of the writer's strike we can't do that anymore." Florence explained.

"Don't get me wrong. I support the writers with all my heart. They deserve fair pay and all that. But I hate that the strike disrupts production. I mean, now I have to keep being in shape for some extra months." Florence laughed.

She laughed along with her but she couldn't keep away the feeling of annoyance in her heart. The writer's strike? So that's the real reason why he could come today and not because of her or Starlene? She thought bitterly as the realization hit her.

She looked back towards Sebastian who was accompanying Starlene play on the slide on the bouncy castle and was startled at how quickly her feelings towards him change.

She now looked at him with a frown on her face and a heavy feeling in her heart as anger slowly seeped into her heart, turning the perfect day into another bad day.

---

It was 8 at night when everyone finally went home. Her dad's house was finally quiet. Only Shannon and Sebastian's mother stayed behind to help her and her family clean up. Starlene was already sleeping so she could help clean up as well.

She picked up a large trash bag and went to the front lawn and started picking up some trash from the ground. Suddenly she felt a warm body hugging her from behind, making her jumped in surprise.

"Seb! You scared me!" She yelled as she turned around and saw Sebastian's smiling face so close to hers.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I've missed you." He said as he started kissing her neck gently.

"Seb.. stop it." She pushed him away and started to pick up some trash again.

"Honey, just leave all the trash for the others to clean up. Let's just go to our room and catch up." He winked.

As much as she missed him and longed for him, she was still annoyed at him. If what Florence said was true, that Thunderbolts production had been halted because of the strike, that meant he came today not because of her or Starlene, but because of the strike. And that thought angered her so much.

"No." She only managed to say as she continued to pick up the trash.

"Honey, what's wrong?" He asked as he started to help her pick up the trash.

"Nothing." She replied. She wasn't in the mood to talk about it. She was angry at him but she didn't want to start up a fight outside where everyone could hear them.

"Okay. I'll help you clean up then maybe we can take a shower together?" He asked again with a twinkle in his eyes.

"No thanks, Seb." She replied coldly.

Sebastian seemed to notice her change of mood but he decided not to mention it again.

"You know what this reminds me of?" He asked as he picked up a plastic cup and put it into the trash bag.

"What?"

"That time you stayed back and helped me clean up my house after that party where the cops came." He chuckled.

She couldn't help but smile a little at the memory.

"I remember I told you that it would be a great story to tell our grandchildren one day." He reminisced.

"I didn't think we would potentially have the same grandchildren." He chuckled and she couldn't help but smile a little.

"And I remember.. kissing you for the very first time that day. Do you remember?" He continued.

She paused her movement as she remembered the event again. How could she forget? The memory was etched in her mind like a carving to a rock.

"Yeah." She replied, trying hard to erase the memory from her mind. She wasn't going to let nostalgia make her forget that she was angry at him.

"I felt it back then. How perfect it was. How it felt like home." He said gently.

His words were threatening to melt her heart and it was so hard to stay angry at him.

"But, I was still with Stephanie and you were still with Michael. You have no idea how conflicted I was when I knew you broke up with Michael." He chuckled.

Stephanie. The mention of her name returned the anger back into her heart in full force.

She didn't say anything back at him but just continued walking around the front lawn, picking up trash after trash with Sebastian following her like a lost puppy.

"Sweetheart, clearly something is bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?" He asked gently as he reached out and touched her hand. But she jerked her hand back from him and didn't say a thing.

"Well.. whatever it was that I did.. or said.. I'm sorry, sweetheart, I really am." He said as he put his hand on her shoulder but she pulled away and turned her back on him.

She wasn't sure what triggered it, but her chest felt heavy with anger and her whole body ached as swirls of disappointment and anger consumed her heart.

She finally decided to ask him about it.

She turned around and looked up at him. He was looking at her with his eyebrows furrowed full of concern and she could see a slight fear in there.

"Seb, tell me why you're here." She said coldly.

"What? I'm.. I'm here for Starlene's birthday. I want to be here for her.. and for you." He said as he stepped closer to her and placed his right hand on her left cheek.

"Don't lie to me, Seb. Florence told me about it. If it weren't for the writer's strike you wouldn't have been here, would you?" She accused him, staring at him with anger in her eyes.

"Oh honey.. I would have been here too, but.. but maybe two days late." He grimaced.

"I knew it!" She yelled as she took a step back from him and he reluctantly dropped his hand from her cheek.

"Honey, the important thing is that I'm here. I'm here and I came on time for Starlene's birthday." He protested.

"Yeah well that means you still prioritized your job over your family!"

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry but it's Marvel and Harrison Ford we're talking about. I told you I tried to ask for a reschedule but I couldn't. It's a miracle the writer's strike starts today so that I can be here with you. Can't you just focus on that?" He pleaded.

"Seb, you don't get it, do you?" She asked in disbelief. How could he be so thick headed? She thought in frustration.

"Get what, honey?" He asked.

"I just want you to prioritize me or Starlene over your job for just one g*****n time! Is that so hard to do?!"

"Oh sweetheart.. I'm sorry.. I promise.. next time I will prioritize you and Starlene." He said as he took a step closer to her but she was so angry at him that she walked away from him while still picking up trash and throwing them into the trash bag.

"Honey. I'm sorry.." he pleaded as he started to follow her.

"Just leave me alone, Seb." She replied, refusing to look at him.

He sighed. "Okay. I'll be in our room." And with that he slowly turned around, leaving her with her negative thoughts alone.

Ugh! She thought he had changed. She thought he had realized what it was that she needed from him. But he could be so stupid at times!

Yes, she was happy that he managed to come at the right time for Starlene's birthday. But she wished that he had done it by his own will and not because he had no other choice. What was she to him? Just an option he took if there's nothing else available?

His job was still number one for him. There was nothing that could change that for him, she realized. Not even the threat of getting a divorce from her.

Her heart ached as the realization dawned in her. She couldn't help but be reminded again of all the bad things that have been happening to them since the start of their relationship.

As much as she hated to admit it, it really seemed as if they weren't meant to be.

She felt a tear dropped from her eyes.

No, no, Shannon and her mother-in-law were still in the house. She shouldn't cry. She didn't want to make them worry about her or think bad things about her.

So she wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. She should focus on the task at hand first. Then she would decide on what to do later on.

Just when she was done cleaning the front lawn Sebastian came out and stopped in front of her.

"Honey, I'm going to take mom and Shannon to the hotel. I asked to borrow your dad's car and he gave me his permission." Sebastian said, a slight fear and apprehension still filled his eyes.

"Okay." She nodded.

"I'll be back in like an hour, okay?" He said.

"Yeah. Do whatever you want. Don't bother to come back if you don't want to. Go back to Atlanta or New York if you want, where your jobs are. I don't care." She snapped and she could immediately see the pain her words caused him on his face.

"Sweetheart.. we'll talk later. Okay?" He said while she just stared at him in anger.

He sighed then turned around.

She wasn't sure what had gotten into her. But all she could feel was anger and disappointment at him. All the feelings of love and longing for him were just gone like a puff of smoke.

She tried to bury all the anger she felt as she saw her mother-in-law and Shannon came out from the house and walked towards her.

"Y/n dear, I have to get back to the hotel. My my knees are aching." Sebastian's mother approached her with a grimace on her face.

"Thank you so much for coming Mrs.Frank. And thank you so much for all your help. I hope you'll feel better soon." she smiled at her.

"Oh it's my pleasure, dear. I wouldn't miss my only grandchild's birthday." She said as she embraced her in her arms.

"I'll see you tomorrow, dear." Her mother-in-law said, releasing her hold on her.

"Y/n.. I have to get back to LA tomorrow morning. So, I'll see you when I see you." Shannon said.

"Thank you so much for coming Shannon and for accompanying me the other day." She said as she gave her a hug.

"Oh no problem, Y/n. I had a lot of fun." Shannon smiled as she released herself from her embrace.

Then she watched as they walked away and got into her dad's car with Sebastian already in the driver's seat.

She waved at them as he drove away, feeling a little pang in her heart. Even though she was angry at him she wasn't ready to be separated from him again. Deep in her heart she still missed him. But she couldn't believe that he still didn't change! All the loving words and romance quotes he had conveyed to her meant nothing to her if he didn't come that day because of his own free will.

She sighed as she continued to feel the heaviness of anger in her heart and the ache all over her body.

---

She was lying on the bed an hour later with her right hand slipped underneath the pillow, her eyes fully opened as she stared at the wall. She was contemplating on what to do once Sebastian comes back. She couldn't deny that she still missed him so much but his behavior was unforgivable to her.

She remembered again how in almost all of her romantic relationships her exes always, always chose something or someone else above her. Apparently they left a deep trauma in her heart that she didn't realize she had.

Sebastian was supposed to be the one who finally chose her, who finally prioritized her. And yet, there he was, after only a year, he finally chose something else above her!

What was wrong with her? Was she so worthless that all these men took her for granted and just used her?

The thought hurt her so much and she couldn't help but started to sob.

The door of her room was slowly opened and she could hear gentle footsteps coming into the room.

Sebastian was back, she realized.

She stopped crying and sniffled. She wiped the tears from her eyes and then she felt it. The bed creaked under his weight as he laid on the bed and laid down next to her. She could feel his warm arms around her and his gentle kiss on her temple.

His gesture prompted her to start crying again and she sobbed hard.

"Ssshh.. sweetheart. I'm sorry. I really am. I am the stupidest husband in the world and I'm sorry." He whispered to her ears.

"Ww.. why won't you prioritize me?" She asked in between her sobs.

"Why won't you prioritize Starlene?"

"Oh honey.. I.. I know I have no excuses. I was stupid. I promise you I'll prioritize you both next time."

"Am I so worthless that every f*****g guy I was with chose something or someone else above me? And now you too?" She asked, her voice trembled.

"Honey.. I.. I'm sorry if I make you feel that way. But you're definitely not worthless to me! You're my everything!" He pleaded.

"Words are just words without action, Seb." She responded coldly as she released herself from his embrace and finally turned around.

He stared at her with sadness in his eyes.

"Sweetheart, what can I do to make you see that you.. are.. my everything." He asked as he gently cupped her face between his hands.

She didn't know what came into her. But feeling his warm body so close to hers and staring at his gorgeous face made her forget everything as desire suddenly woke up in her.

She was still angry at him but another side of her wanted him so much, right then and there. She just wanted him to make love to her, make her scream his name into the night and make her heart and body feel whole again after more than a month not being with him.

"Make love to me, Seb. Like I'm the only woman in the world you ever want. Make love to me like I'm the only woman you ever need." She finally said, every syllable that came out of her filled with a desperate need.

His eyes widened and he smiled as desire filled his beautiful eyes.

"Oh sweetheart, you are.. the only.. woman.. I ever want.. and need. No one else.. matters." He said as he kissed her lips gently, once, twice, three times, four times, five times.

And with that he did what he asked her. He made love to her like he had never made love to her before. Every kiss, every caress, every touch to her body was full of love and worship for her as he did what no other man in the world could do to her.

The anger that she somehow still felt for him in her heart heightened her senses and made everything seemed even better. Her disappointment and frustration at him were transmuted so that she was wilder than usual. Which surprised Sebastian.

"Oh honey, this feels so good! Maybe I should make you angry more often." Sebastian commented as they worked together in harmony, trying to reach their peak together.

She slapped his butt playfully and laughed.

"Shut up and just move, mister!" She scolded him and he laughed.

"As you wish, my lady." He smiled and he did just that.

Moments later she felt she was exploding with so much pleasure that she felt like flying. No other feeling was better than this. She thought as she tried to catch her breath, her arms circled around his body as he grunted on top of her.

"I love you so much, my queen." Sebastian finally said breathlessly.

She wasn't sure what got into her but she wasn't able to say it back. The disappointment and anger she felt earlier somehow came back.

"Honey?" Sebastian asked as he seemed to notice that she didn't reply him as quick as she used to.

"I.. I'm sorry, Seb. I'm still angry at you." She said as she pushed him away.

Her heart broke as she saw the pain in his eyes. But she couldn't lie to him. She really was still angry at him. She could feel the heaviness entered her heart again and the ache all over her body. It felt as if the peak his love making gave to her never happened.

He quickly regained his composure and smiled at her.

"Maybe you want a second round?" He asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh Seb. I'm tired. Let's just go to sleep." She said as she scooted a little further from him and turned her back on him.

She could hear him sigh and she felt kind of guilty. But she was still angry at him. She wished he had really come because of his own free will. She couldn't deny that this time the disappointment she felt was so deep and she didn't know how to deal with it yet. Everything just seemed wrong.

"Good night, sweetheart. Sweet dreams." He said as she felt his hand touched hers briefly but then he let her go.

"Good night, Seb." She said and she could hear him sigh.

So close and yet so far. That was what she felt between them. After more than a month of being away from him, she thought she would end up sleeping in his arms like she used to. But she couldn't. She couldn't give up and give in to his warm embrace. Not when she was still so emotional.

Feeling tired and exhausted after what she could only think as a day filled with emotional rollercoaster, she finally fell asleep without his arms around her yet again.

---

La Venta Dr, Poway, California - July 14th 2023 - 7 am

She felt his warm arms surrounding her body before she even opened her eyes. Then she felt his gentle kisses on her temple, cheek, and neck. For a moment she forgot where she was as she enjoyed the sensation and gave in to all the feels his kisses gave her. But then the events of yesterday suddenly came flooding back into her mind and her heart felt heavy with anger and disappointment. She thought she could forget them, she thought she could forgive him in the morning. But she couldn't. Not yet.

She opened her eyes, turned around and pushed him away. She looked up and saw disappointment in his eyes but they quickly cleared and he gave her a loving look.

"Good morning, my love." He smiled.

He didn't dare to touch her again it seemed as he just gazed at her in expectation.

"Morning, Seb." She said coldly then she stood up and went to the adjacent bathroom, leaving him hanging.

She could hear him sigh as she walked away and that made her feel kind of guilty. But then again, his behavior really was unforgivable. She thought stubbornly.

She was hoping that taking a shower would make her feel less angry and annoyed at him. But the moment she stepped out of the bathroom and looked at him - who was sitting on the sofa with Starlene in his arms - she felt the anger and annoyance came back in full force.

"Oh look Starlene, mommy is here." Sebastian said as he looked up at her with a smile on his face. But the moment he saw her expression towards him he stopped smiling.

"Mama.. mama.. " Starlene called out and extended her hands towards her.

She picked Starlene up from his lap and sat down next to him as Starlene started snuggling to her chest, wanting to nurse.

"So.. umm.. as you know, my mom is going back to New York tomorrow. I was thinking that maybe we can take her sight seeing today, see what Poway has to offer." Sebastian said slowly as she opened the front of her clothes and let Starlene nurse.

"Okay." She responded.

"Where do you think we should go, honey?" He asked.

"Lake Poway is a must. There's also Potato Chip Rock. But that's not a good place to go for the elderly or young children as it takes an eight mile hike to reach. So I guess Lake Poway is the only option." She replied.

"Well.. Lake Poway it is." He said, trying to sound cheerful about it. But she knew he was just testing the waters to see whether she was still angry at him.

She just nodded then looked down at Starlene, stroking her cheek gently, avoiding his gaze. She could still feel the anger and disappointment in her heart and she just didn't want to see his face for some reason. Seeing him annoyed her greatly. Something she didn't think she would ever feel towards him.

"Sweetheart.. I.. umm.. I want to apologize again about.. about yesterday." He stammered.

"Uh huh."

"I.. I hope you know that you are the love of my life and there's no one else in the world that I love more than you." He said as he reached out and pulled her free hand up and started kissing her knuckles.

"Yeah. But there's something you love more than me. Your job." She responded with venom as she pulled her hand back from his.

"Oh honey. I.. I thought you understand. Acting is not just a job for me. It's my life calling.. it's.. it's like journalism for you. Like being a bookworm for you. It's not a competition for my love for you. My heart belongs only to you and no one else." He pleaded.

"Yet you sacrificed our honeymoon for it." She snapped.

"I'm sorry, honey. How many times do I have to say this? I'm sorry." He pleaded but she noticed that his tone was somewhat annoyed.

"As many times as needed. Everyday if you have to." She snickered.

"Everything that I have done meant nothing to you huh?" He asked, disappointment clear in his voice.

"Well, like I said. Words mean nothing without action, Seb." She snapped yet again.

"What kind of action do you want!? I sang for you! Did you know how long it took for me to practice singing those songs? I bought you and your family many things that you and your family want. And.. and.. did you know how long it took for me to compile all those quotes and get those books? Did you know the amount of effort it took for me to get you tickets for that David Cook concert? Aren't those actions enough for you?!" He protested.

She felt kind of guilty listening to him saying all those things. But on the other hand she was also annoyed that he still didn't get the message.

"Seb.. I didn't ask for you to sing for me. I didn't ask you to buy my family anything. I didn't ask you to buy me flowers or books or send me on a me-time trip. All I asked was for you to prioritize me and Starlene instead of your job, at least just once! I just wanted you to come to Starlene's birthday and prioritize your family for once. Is that so wrong?!" Her voice shook.

"But I came! I even came as Elmo!"

"I didn't ask you to come as Elmo! I wanted you to come because of your own free will and not because you have no other option!" She yelled.

Starlene stopped nursing and started to cry listening to her angry shout.

"Ssshhh.. Starlene. It's okay, I wasn't angry at you." She said as she started to rock Starlene back and forth.

Sebastian stayed quiet as she tried to soothe Starlene. Too quiet for her liking. She wondered what was on his mind.

"I'm gonna go out and prepare some breakfast." He finally said. He stood up and left the room without looking at her.

She sighed. Great. Now he was angry at her it seemed. Fine. If he wanted to be angry at her then she accepted it. She herself was still angry at him. So be it. She thought in annoyance.

For the rest of the day they barely talked to each other. Even though they all went to Lake Poway to have a picnic that day with her mother-in-law, her father and her stepmom, but somehow they managed not to talk much to each other.

That night they slept side by side but with their backs on each other, neither of them willing to stand down and make peace.

She silently cried as she faced the wall. She never felt more lonely in her life. She considered offering peace first to him. But, if she backed down now she was afraid that he wouldn't get the message and would still prioritize his acting job in the future. So, as much as she wanted to make peace with him, she stayed quiet. She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to go to sleep.

She could hear him snoring softly behind her. That made her angry again. She thought he would have trouble sleeping like her, yet there he was, sleeping like a baby as if nothing was wrong between them.

Fine. If he could ignore the fight between them and peacefully go to sleep then she can too. She thought in anger.

Unfortunately it took a while but she finally fell asleep, still with the heaviness in her heart and the aches all over her body.

---

La Venta Dr, Poway, California - July 15th 2023 - 8am

She opened her eyes and turned her body to the left, letting her back laid fully down on the bed. She grimaced as her stiff body adjusted to the new position. She glanced to her left, expecting to find Sebastian still sleeping next to her but he wasn't there.

Her heart dropped to her stomach as she saw the empty space next to her. She couldn't believe he would just leave without saying goodbye.

Her mind started to go into panic mode. What if he really left without saying goodbye? As much as she was angry at him, she would still be devastated if he left just like that.

Her mind was in turmoil when she heard the sound of the flush from the toilet.

She released the breath she didn't realize she was holding as she found out that Sebastian must be in the bathroom.

She turned to her right again, pretending to still be asleep as her heart pounded hard in her chest, wondering what Sebastian was going to do.

Moments later she heard the bathroom door being opened then she could hear his light footsteps on the floor. Then she felt the bed creak as he sat on the bed.

"Y/n.. wake up." He said, shaking her body gently.

He didn't even call her with sweetheart or honey like he used to, she thought sadly. He must still be angry at her.

She turned around slowly and opened her eyes. She found him looking at her, his face stone like, unreadable to her.

"Hmm.." she mumbled, pretending that she just woke up.

"I.. I'm going back to New York with my mom today. I feel I need to accompany her. You know she has some problems with her knees. I think it's best that I come with her." He said.

"Oh.. okay." She said as she sat up. Her heart pounded hard in her chest as she digested the information he gave her. He really was leaving her. Her heart broke as she realized what she had done to their relationship. Maybe she should forgive him.

"You can come with us if you want. But if not then that's okay. I'll come back in a few days." He said.

Well, he was coming back in a few days. No need to give up so soon. She quickly changed her mind.

"Seb, I'm sorry but think I need to stay here for a little while." She responded.

For a second she felt like she saw pain in his eyes. But then they cleared and his eyes betrayed nothing.

"Okay. Then I'll come back in a few days. Unless.. unless you don't want me to?" He asked with his eyebrows furrowed.

"It's up to you." She replied and he just nodded in response.

Then he stood up and left the room, leaving her feeling a great turmoil in her heart.

On the one hand she wanted to come with him and go back to their home. Even though she was comfortable in Poway, New York was still her home. But on the other hand she was still kind of angry at him and still wanted to see whether he understood what she wanted from him.

As much as she loved him, she needed him to prioritize her and Starlene. No amount of romantic gesture was enough for her if he didn't prioritize his family over his job. He should realize that.

Armed with that thought in her mind, she stood up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. She still felt the anger and disappointment in her heart and feeling the aches all over her body. She hoped taking a shower would help make the feelings go away.

---

The day went by so fast and before she knew it, it was time for Sebastian and his mother to leave. They were standing on the front porch saying their goodbye as a taxi waited to take Sebastian and his mother to San Diego airport. She carried Starlene in her arms as she stood. Her eyes studied his carefully but his eyes betrayed nothing. He still had the cold statue like expression on his face and that made her sad.

"I'll see you in a few days." Sebastian said as he gave her a brief hug. Then he leaned down and kissed Starlene's forehead.

"Dada.." Starlene said, extending her hand towards him.

"Yes, Starlene dear. I'm sorry I have to go again. But if your mommy wanted to you could have come with me. Unfortunately she still doesn't want to come. So, be a good girl and I'll see you soon, okay?" Sebastian said and he gave her more kisses, on both her cheeks this time.

She sighed as she listened to him. He was still annoyed at her and she was too at him.

He avoided looking at her and stepped back to allow his mother to talk to her.

His mother gave her a warm and long hug as she whispered some words into her ear.

"Please don't be so hard on him. He loves you so much despite everything."

She felt her eyes prickling at her words but she shouldn't cry. If she cried it would change things and she might just end up following him, which she doesn't want to do just yet.

"I'm sorry Mrs.Frank." she whispered back.

"Come back to New York soon, dear." She said as she released her from her embrace.

"I.. I will." She nodded as his mother placed her hand on the side of her face and smiled at her.

"Starlene dear, grandma is going to miss you." His mother said, dropping her hand from her face and leaned close to Starlene. Then she gave Starlene a noisy kiss on her cheek.

"Ma.. ma.." Starlene said, putting her hand on her grandmother's cheek.

"Yes, grandma, I'm your grandma." She smiled as she pinched Starlene's cheek gently.

"Next time I see you I think you'll be able to call me properly." His mother said.

"I'm sure she will." She smiled.

And with that his mother turned around and they soon left in the taxi, leaving her feeling hollow inside.

She watched as the taxi took a right turn on the intersection not far from her father's house and was finally gone from her sight.

For the rest of the day she continued to feel the hollow feeling in her chest, like something wasn't right. Deep in her heart she knew she was supposed to have come with him. But her pride and ego got in the way. She still couldn't forgive him for what he had done despite all the romantic gestures he had done for her. She hoped he eventually understood what she wanted and next time there was a conflict between his job or his family he could choose the correct one.

She was washing the dishes that night after dinner when her father approached her.

"Y/n dear.. I'm sorry but, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked.

"Yeah sure dad." She nodded as she cleaned a plate with a sponge.

"I couldn't help but notice that you're still angry at Sebastian." He started.

"Uh huh." She responded.

"Do you mind telling me why?"

She sighed and quickly rinsed the plate in her hand with some water then put it on a drying rack.

"Well, he still didn't prioritize me or Starlene, dad. The reason he could come to Starlene's birthday was because there was a writer's strike so that production on Thunderbolts was halted. He came because he didn't have a choice and not because he wanted to." She said bitterly as she wiped her hand with a cloth.

"Oh Y/n dear.. I know that must be disappointing for you. But, I saw the effort he had done trying to win your heart back and what he had done was nothing short of amazing! I've never seen someone so dedicated like that." His father gushed.

"But I didn't ask him to do all those things, dad! I just wanted him to prioritize me or Starlene over his job, just once! And he still wouldn't do it!" She said, throwing the cloth in her hand onto the kitchen table in frustration.

"Y/n dear, I'm sure he had tried his best to reschedule but he's working with Marvel. I mean, that's a whole different beast. You should understand that."

"I.. I know. I just.. I don't know why, but I just feel so hurt and betrayed."

She walked away from the sink and took a nearby chair by the dining table. Her father followed her and sat in front of her.

"I'm sure you do. But personally, after seeing all the things he had done for you, I think it's best that you forgive him and move on. It's not good holding on to a grudge like this for far too long. Especially to your own husband."

"I.. I know, dad. But I don't know, part of me is still unsure about us. He lives such a different life from me with all the traveling around the world to shoot movies and stuff. I.. I sometimes still feel jealous of his co-stars. As much as I hate to admit it."

"Oh Y/n, after what he had done for you I think you have nothing to worry about. I mean, he has like four gorgeous female co-stars in Thunderbolts but the only woman he has eyes for is you. I could clearly see it during Starlene's birthday."

"Really, dad?" She asked, her face reddened a little.

"Yes, really. I'm a man, dear, and sometimes when you're a man and surrounded with beautiful women you can't help but.. how do I say this.. admire them. You know. But throughout the birthday party his eyes almost never left you."

Her heart swelled a little as she heard what her father had to say. But then her stubborn mind took over again.

"But if he feels that way about me, why wouldn't he prioritize me?" She said with a frown on her face.

"His job is always number one for him, dad. I mean, the only time he prioritized me was when I was sick with covid and pregnant with Starlene. Do I need to get into an accident or something to finally get him to prioritize me again?!" She said in frustration.

"Oh dear, please don't say that. I'm sure next time he will prioritize you and Starlene."

She sighed. "I hope so too, Dad. I.. I just can't stop thinking that maybe.. maybe we're just not meant to be together."

"Oh, what makes you think like that, dear?" Her father asked, his eyebrows raised.

"If I look back towards the start of our relationship, I realized that we started off with a rocky start. The whole PR relationship with Ana, then me getting covid, Ana trying to kill us, then the whole fiasco that happened during our wedding. And I've told you everything that had happened during our honeymoon. It's like our relationship is a symbol of bad luck or something."

"Oh Y/n dear, there is no such thing."

"I thought so too, dad. But then, I saw him in his suit before the wedding! We also got married on a Saturday! And then.. his mother gave me a bracelet to wear during the wedding which supposed to symbolize good luck. But her own first marriage fell apart. I just can't help but feel that maybe we'll end up like his mom and his dad." She rambled. Her eyes started to prickle at the painful thought.

"Y/n dear, let me tell you a story that might change your mind." Her father smiled.

"Oh. What story, dad?" She asked as she blinked several times trying to stop herself from crying.

"Forty two years ago I was at Christ Church New Brunswick about to be married to your mother. I was in my dressing room, already in a complete suit. The ceremony was going to happen in half an hour but I got the sudden urge to go to the bathroom." He said.

"Oh okay." She nodded, intrigued.

"I didn't know where the bathroom was. My best man, Jeff, was useless as he didn't know his way around the church either. So I wandered around trying to find the bathroom and I opened one door and.. there she was.. your mother, standing in the middle of the room, looking so beautiful and ethereal in her white dress. I felt like looking at an angel." Her father said and he sniffled. She couldn't help but feeling like she was going to start crying too.

"Anyway, she smiled as she saw me but her bridesmaids and your grandmother quickly closed the door so I couldn't see her again. Your grandmother was so angry at me and even after months of being married to your mother she still mentioned the incident and kept reminding us of the possibility of our marriage falling apart. We understood where she was coming from but we were so in love and we felt like it would never happen. Until we experienced our first big fight. I don't even remember what triggered it. But your mother was so emotional for days and I felt like nothing I did to her was right. She kept getting angry at me over small things and crying for no reason at all. I felt like going insane myself and thought that the superstitions were true. Our marriage was falling apart." He sighed as the memory seemed to affect him.

"What happened then, dad?" She asked curiously.

"Well, it turned out your mother was pregnant with you." He smiled and put his hand on the side of her face gently.

"Oh dad." She could only say as tears fell from both their eyes.

"She was so emotional because she was having mood swings from the pregnancy." He chuckled, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Oh, right." She said, wiping the tears from her eyes too.

Suddenly something seemed to click in her mind. She also felt so emotional for the past couple of days. She thought it was because she really was angry at him. After all, she had a perfectly valid reason to be angry at him. But then again, when she thought about it, her reactions had been too much at times. Could it be that she was pregnant?

Her mind silently calculated and she realized that she had skipped a period. She should have gotten it a month ago but it didn't show! She thought it was just her hormones who were still going out of whack because she was still nursing Starlene. But apparently a pregnancy could explain the absence of her period too.

"Well my dear, you know very well that our marriage stood the test of time until her last breath. So, I beg you not to believe in superstitions. You and Sebastian are meant to be together. Trust me." He said as he stared at her with a meaningful look in his eyes.

"Thanks dad. Thank you so much for the story. And umm.. I just realize that.. I might be pregnant too.. " she said sheepishly.

"Oh my God, that's so amazing, dear!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"I know, dad." She smiled. "I need to get a pregnancy test."

"Well, let me drive you to the drug store downtown. They're open 24 hours. You should be able to get some there." Her father said.

"Okay, thank you so much, dad." She smiled.

He leaned closer to her and kissed her forehead then hugged her tight.

"Everything is going to be okay my dear." He said as he rubbed her back gently.

"Thank you so much dad." She closed her eyes and in her father's embrace she finally felt like everything made sense. There was no need to believe in superstitions anymore. She and Sebastian were meant to be together. And even though he might be so thick headed at times, she knew how much he loved her. She should focus on that and stop being angry at him. And now the most important thing that she should do was to get that pregnancy test.

"Okay, let's go dear and find out if I'm going to be a grandpa again." He said as he released her from his embrace.

She smiled and they stood up. Her heart pounded hard in her chest as the potential of being pregnant again became the only thing in her mind.

---

An hour later she sat on the sofa in the living room, staring at two pregnancy tests she had peed on minutes before. Her father and stepmom sat next to her with her in the middle. Both of them held her hands tight.

Her heart pounded so hard in her chest as she stared at the small windows on the tests that would show the result of the test. Slowly but surely she could see two red lines in the result window of both tests.

Her heart soared as she saw the results and she felt tears streaming down her face as she was hugged tightly by her father and stepmom.

"Congratulations my dear." Her father said, squeezing her body tight.

"Thank you, dad." She sniffled.

"Congratulations dear. So happy that I'm going to be a grandma again!" Diane said as she took turns to give her a tight hug.

"Thank you, Diane." She smiled as tears continued to stream down her face.

She couldn't believe that she was pregnant again! She was going to be a mother again! The thought made her feel both, happy and scared.

"You should tell Sebastian immediately." Her father advised.

"Uh.. yeah. I want to let him know in person." She smiled as she wiped the tears in her eyes.

"Oh, you're going back to New York?" Her father asked.

"Yes, as soon as I can." She nodded.

"Oh I'm so happy to hear that my dear. He's going to be so ecstatic about it." Her father smiled.

"I'm sure he will." She smiled.

Unfortunately going back to New York wasn't as simple as she had thought. All of the flights from San Diego to New York for the next two days had been fully booked. So she was forced to book a flight that would leave in three days.

She wanted to tell him as soon as possible about her pregnancy. But she had no other choice other than to wait. She didn't want to tell him over the phone. She wanted to surprise him. She wanted it to be a whole event because she didn't get the same chance when she was pregnant with Starlene. He found out from someone else and she didn't want that to happen again.

Planning the surprise for him meant that she needed to make sure he wasn't going to come back to Poway before her scheduled flight. Luck was on her side this time because it turned out he had a meeting with Steven Spielberg and Ric Flair. The meeting was scheduled to happen the next week in New York, so her plans to surprise him could still be done, much to her relief.

Her father and stepmom had advised her to go to the gynecologist to confirm her pregnancy, especially since there were some issues with her first pregnancy, but she refused. She wanted to go with Sebastian. He missed the first five months of her pregnancy with Starlene, so this time she wanted to involve him since the very beginning.

Since she had several days to prepare, she decided to do something special to break the news to him. She bought a T-shirt that said "I'm gonna be a mom again". She also bought a T-shirt for Starlene that said "I'm gonna be a big sister". She planned on wearing the T-shirt and have Starlene wear hers so that he could see them when he opened the door of their home. She of course bought him a matching T-shirt that said "I'm gonna be a dad again". She also kept the two pregnancy tests and decided to put them into a special frame.

Despite feeling happy about her pregnancy she also felt kind of sad. Ever since he left with his mother he had not called her at all. He just texted her saying he had arrived in New York safely. After that he just texted her daily but in his messages he just asked how Starlene and her father was. He didn't ask about her at all. He didn't say the usual I love you or I miss you.

She couldn't deny that his behavior towards her broke her heart. He was still angry at her and it frustrated her. But she didn't want to apologize to him yet. She wanted to surprise him and apologize to him in person. She had even prepared a whole speech for him in which she took out some words and quotes from the books he had sent her.

Even though Sebastian clearly prioritized his job over her again, this time she didn't mind. But she of course didn't show it to Sebastian. She pretended to still be angry at him about it and that seemed to make him even angrier that the messages he sent to her became less and less everyday.

Under normal circumstances she would have been devastated at how he had behaved towards her. But knowing that she had an amazing news to share with him kept her going. She also realized with two babies to take care of she needed to take care of herself especially her mental health. So she took some time to meditate everyday before she went and do her daily activities. It seemed to really help her get through each day, especially in keeping her emotions in check.

The days until her scheduled flight to New York seemed to go by in a snail's pace. She couldn't wait to go. She couldn't wait to break the news to him and see his reaction to it. And the day finally came.

She stepped out of the New York JFK airport around 3 in the afternoon, carrying Starlene in a baby carrier in front of her. Her right hand pulled her suitcase, her left hand carried Starlene's diaper bag while her handbag hung around her right shoulder.

She hailed a taxi and thankfully it didn't take long for her to get one. The driver helped put her suitcase in the trunk then she hopped into the taxi with Starlene still in her arms.

She looked out the window as the taxi left the curb and they entered the highway. Soon she could see the tall buildings and skyscrapers dotting the New York skyline. Home. She was finally home.

Her heart pounded hard in her chest as she recited again in her mind the apology speech she was going to say to him. She decided to tell him about the pregnancy afterwards. So she had put on a cardigan to cover the T-shirt she was wearing and she put one on Starlene too.

Her mind continued to run through the scenario that she had planned. She couldn't help but smile as she thought of how he would react. She expected nothing less than him picking her up from the floor, carrying her in a circle and then put her down on the floor again only to give her the most heartfelt and passionate kiss ever.

She glanced at her watch and it was almost 4 in the afternoon when the taxi finally drove into Soho where their apartment was located.

She hoped he was home. She really wanted to surprise him so she didn't contact him at all that day. Well, even if he wasn't home she did have the keys to their apartment. If he wasn't home she could probably give him a better surprise. She even thought of ordering some pizza from Rubirosa to celebrate.

The taxi finally pulled up in front of their apartment. She stepped out of the taxi with her heart racing wildly in her chest.

This is it. She thought as she stood on the sidewalk with Starlene safe in her carrier in front of her and all her belongings safe next to her.

She took a deep breath and entered the apartment. Their unit was on the third floor so she took the elevator to get there.

For the first time ever she noticed that the elevator was moving rather slowly. She clicked her tongue impatiently as the elevator ascended, taking her closer to the love of her life.

Finally the elevator stopped and she heard the usual ding as it stopped. She stepped out and turned right to where their unit was located.

The door of their unit was curiously opened a little. Signifying that he was home. Her heart did somersaults in her chest as she continued to approach the door.

She slowly pushed the door open and smiled wide as she saw him standing in the middle of the living room. But her smile changed quickly and her jaw dropped as she saw the scene in front of her.

Sebastian was hugging a woman. A woman with long blonde hair.

Stephanie. He was hugging Stephanie!?

She felt her heart crushed and destroyed into pieces as she registered the sight in front of her. Everything seemed to go by in slow motion as Sebastian saw her and released Stephanie from his embrace.

"Y/n!" He exclaimed out loud.

No! This couldn't be happening! She spent all this time worrying how he was still angry at her, planning to apologize to him and bring him the news of their second child, but all this time he had been with Stephanie?!

She felt tears streaming down her face as she quickly turned around and ran back towards the elevator, leaving all her belongings behind and only carrying Starlene and her handbag with her.

"Y/n! Wait! Please stop!" Sebastian shouted after her but she ignored him.

She couldn't look at him. No, she couldn't deal with him now. The anguish was too great. The pain in her heart was so unbearable. The only thing she needed was to get away from him. So she continued to run.

She knew the elevator was going to arrive slowly. So she went to the stairs and ran down towards the ground floor with Sebastian still hot on her heels.

"Honey, please stop! I can explain!" He pleaded as they continued to run down the stairs.

"Get away from me Seb! Leave me alone!" She yelled as they finally arrived on the ground floor and she pushed the door of the entrance to their apartment with a bang.

Somehow the taxi that she took to get from the airport to their apartment was still there. So she quickly opened the door, got inside and slammed the door shut.

As soon as she was in she jumped in surprise as Sebastian banged the door of the taxi repeatedly.

"Y/n, please don't go! I can explain! Please! It's not as bad as it seems!" He shouted. His face looked at hers from behind the window, panic and anxiety in his eyes.

She shook her head as tears continued to stream down her cheek, blurring her vision. She locked the door and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Y/n! Please! Open the door! Please!" He continued to beg but in her mind there was no going back. This was it. Their marriage was over. Somehow she was going to end up being a single mother to two children. Something she never thought she would experience.

She never thought Sebastian was that kind of person. She never thought he had the heart to hurt and betray her like this. But then he was just human. She should have known that true love doesn't exist, soulmates don't exist, and that in the end all everyone could think about was their own happiness.

All the loving words he had conveyed to her were just words. The songs he had sang to her were just songs. And the flowers he had thoughtfully given to her were nothing but just flowers. All of them meant nothing. All of them symbolized lies. Lies that she had bought hook, line and sinker.

Her initial feeling that they weren't meant to be was right. And the superstitions were true. Their marriage ended up falling apart. Despite the story her father had told her, her own marriage was still falling apart. She felt numb inside as the realization hit her.

"Excuse me ma'am? Where would you like to go?" The taxi driver turned around and asked, snapping her out of the depths of misery in her mind.

"Oh. Airport please, JFK." She said. The taxi driver nodded.

"Y/n! Please! Open the door and let me in!" Sebastian continued to beg as he tried desperately to open the door.

She turned to face him again and just shook her head. She could see tears started to fall from his eyes. The sight broke her heart and a tear fell from her eyes too.

"Y/n!" He called out to her one last time as the taxi driver pulled away from the curb and quickly left him standing alone.

But she underestimated what he could do when he was pushed. He continued to chase her down the street and banged the door of the taxi.

"Stop! Y/n, please!" He continued to shout while running next to the taxi.

"Ma'am?" The taxi driver asked as he slowed the taxi down.

"Just go quickly, please." She instructed as she ripped her gaze away from him and the taxi driver nodded.

The taxi driver stepped on the gas as they reached an intersection with Sebastian somehow still running by their side.

"Y/n! Stop! Please!" He continued to run following her and the taxi but the taxi became too fast for him to follow that he ended up running behind them.

She glanced at the rearview mirror and saw Sebastian still running fast chasing them.

It all seemed to happen really fast but one second she saw him through the rearview mirror still running behind them and the next second she heard the sound of a loud bang, the screech of tires on the street and he was gone from her sight.

Chapter 23 >

Taglist : @sebsgirl71479 @dhoruwolfie

[cluelessbird]

Barbie (2023) Plot Theory

Ok so the second trailer has come out for a couple of hours now. It still does not explicitly tell us the plot for the upcoming Barbie movie, but I have a theory about what it might be about:

So, when I was watching the movie, I got these weird "The Spongebob Squarepants movie (2004)" vibes, weird, I know. At first, I just thought it was because both had this self-aware humour but then I rewatched the trailer and it all made sense

(And no, this is not a Boss Baby tweet situation, I swear I have seen at least 2 more movies than Spongebob)

My theory starts here, where you can see a sign that says "Real World. This Way" Barbie and Ken are driving a car that seems to go towards the real world.

This is semi-confirmed by the official promo account for Barbie The Movie making a difference between Barbies and Kens and Humans. This means that Barbie's path crosses with humans, and it might not be too crazy to assume that through the "Real World" road.

This would contextualize the video of Margot Robbie and Ryan Gossling filming Barbie that became viral last year:

Here, all of the extras are wearing "real world" clothes, there is no color coordination or colorful outfits, and they stare at Barbie and Ken as if they'd seen an alien.

So by now, we have established that they go to the real world. The next question would be: why would Barbie go to the real world? Well, I did not need to look that far for that answer, because the new trailer's description gives us the answer:

"To live in a Barbie Land is to be a perfect being in a perfect place. Unless you have a full-on existential crisis. Or you're a Ken."

So maybe the Barbie world with its colourful and gleeful cheer, and idyllic views becomes too stale for Barbie. Or maybe she has an identity crisis; as we see in the promos, all of the Barbies have a description: "This Barbie is a doctor", "This Barbie has a Pulitzer" What if Barbie wants to know who she is besides "just" Barbie?

OK OK but what about the Spongebob movie thing? I hear you say.

Well rewatching the second trailer for Barbie, it suddenly clicked. This movie, just like Spongebob, features two endearingly naive and charismatic characters going for a "big boy" adventure, where they go to the outside world, facing real-world problems and trying to overcome them to the best of their abilities.

Or maybe I just associated them because both of them have iconic cars idk

So in conclusion, Barbie the Movie will be a self-aware comedy about Barbie and Ken going to the real world, having comedy but also heartfelt moments between Barbie and the humans as they learn from each other and form a friendship for life.

But hey that's just a theory....a (MatPat if you're reading this please hire me) Barbie Theoryyyyyyy

Only one thing I am sure of, I smell a banger folks.

It's Barbin' Time!

[acknowledgetheabsurd]

Thursday, 1:30 in the afternoon [February 16, 1950] I return from the radio - I had left this morning all lit up by the sky and the sun of Cabris. Your letter of Tuesday made me very happy and when I say that rain, fog and cold are no match for you I am not entirely wrong. Isn't it so? My poor darling! How you would feel exiled in the middle of the gray moors of Brittany! And yet how bright and warm the sun is there! And how you would love the sea there, changing, wild and furious! Yes, it was fine this morning. Last night, the solucamphre shot had its effect on my father's condition and he was a little calmer when I came home. I went to bed, exhausted after a long day of anxiety and nerves. I slept for nine hours. I woke up full of courage. It was grey outside, but when I left the François-I studio, the whole of Paris seemed to be glowing with spring. Alas! The news at home did not match the weather. The doctor had come - his worries are confirmed and this afternoon or tomorrow he must take another doctor with him, Professor [Gisoux] to consult. 

I'm with Dad now. He is already delirious almost continuously and his fatigue is such that any small movement becomes impossible for him to carry out. That's where we are for the moment. When will we get the serum? You can imagine how much trouble I'm going to get from going to the Frenchman. But what do you want? I promised, and I promised to please Georges Leroy [sic]* whom I like. As for the choice, it was he himself who suggested to me to play the prayer of Esther, which annoys me, but which he finds that I say it well that he likes it. Personally, I don't care. This national scene freezes me to such an extent that I even think it is better to say an indifferent text there than any page that I care about. It's a chore in itself, but right now it's torture. I too often hear the music of The Third Man. For me, it represents your absence in the same way that La Vie en rose or [La Seine] represent you near me. I like the waltz better, too. I am leaving you, my darling. I will try this evening to add some words here. Forgive me for being a little distracted. See you later, my love.

6 o'clock in the afternoon Oh, how cruel the weather is! It is a bright day outside. Birds are singing on my balcony. A barrel organ in the street. I can't read, write or do anything. I walk from my father's room to mine like a shadow. For 1 hour and 30 minutes I have been trying to make him eat. I haven't managed to do it yet. He has just been given his shot. Maybe it will calm him down again and allow him to swallow something liquid. He hasn't been able to take anything since yesterday. Ah, what a misery!

Half past midnight When I got home I learned that Dad had tried to get up and take two steps in his room to - oh, never mind! The fact is that he fell and Juan and Angeles ran in, alerted by the noise, and found him in the middle of a pond of water on the ground, without a gesture or a word. They changed his pajamas and carried him to his bed. Now he is exhausted. I changed his sweaty knit and jacket again as he let himself be done like a doll. I am terribly impressed. May the day of tomorrow erase these hours gone by today. My darling, I love you. I would like to speak to you about happiness, and not to tell you all this horror, but I cannot be happy at this moment and I must always tell you everything so that you understand my condition and my letters. I love you with all my soul.

Friday morning 10:30 am I have just received your letter and I want to add a few words to mine before it leaves. Finally, my darling, how could you think lately that I had other ulterior motives than the one that told me something had happened between you and F[rancine]. Are you crazy? Don't you understand what I'm telling you between the lines? When I asked you to tell me everything, my love, just wanted to talk about the effect all these events had on your life. That's all. I didn't imagine anything else, and when I spoke of madness - now I can say it freely - I was thinking of what actually happened, which I learned today by your letter. Your plan to travel when you returned had confirmed my fears and the tone of your letters left me with almost no doubt. How could I have imagined anything else at that moment? Last night, even when I begged you here to love me - I afraid that the pain, the sorrow, the grief you are in will take you away from me. This is my only selfishness. Apart from that, I don't know what I would do for F[rancine]'s happiness, apart from the peace it might bring you. 

My poor darling, what a life you must have! What days! Oh, can't you try to soften all this? Can't you erase and start again? I may be crazy, but I think I'm ready to bear anything to see you happy and that as long as I know you and see you near me, I am capable of any existence. Oh, my love, my poor love, my dear dear love! What to do? I love you. Calm yourself. Get some rest. I will write to you at length this afternoon. I kiss you with all my soul**.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, February 16, 1950 [#197]

* Maria Casarès is to take part in Georges Le Roy's farewell party at the Comédie-Française on February 17, 1950, during which she intends to recite the scene from Esther. ** Maria Casarès' father died on Friday, February 17, 1950.

[bacchia]

What do you not understand?

~ pick a pile ~

Choose whichever speaks to you in its wholeness. Look at the pictures, inhale their meaning and take the one resonating with you the most. Best if you can’t seem to grasp why.

We will talk about what you don’t understand currently, the mechanisms behind and what you can do about it.

Pile 1 - black dark heavy curtain

This pile was the most confused I would say. And it’s quite understandable. You can’t seem to know where to set your priorities. You set your plans, start a new project, but your ideals are still from the old. You’re really hardworking, but you’re hard work isn’t paying off, because you take too much upon yourself. The opportunities and hopes you have and see are burdening you, your so hard set on getting this harvest, but the bad harvest from the past is holding you in a headlock. It’s a harsh contrast for you which you feel stuck between - the past and the future. You tend to run to others to run away from your fears, which only confirms them.

Your intuition is blocked. You know what is earnest good and right in your heart - your past taught you this. Not everything that glitters is gold. This is and was a very important and great discovery for you. But hey, sometimes gold can glitter. Not everything that glitters is not gold. You have so much energy in you. Don’t see this as a failure. Don’t let your mind get blocked. Try to sit with these new feelings the next time something doesn’t go as planned. I promise you it will become better over time because you will learn to sit through feelings of failure - and that’s what they are. Sit with the mysteries of life. Tend to yourself for a bit. Being hard working means also having a good balance is absolutely necessary.

I’m really sorry if this pile is a bit confusingly written. It was very confusing for me as well. It’s the most unclear reading for me from these three lol. But also with very specific messages. Thought of the song borderline from tame impala.

Pile 2 - hands, hidden thumb

Your image. You’re appearing really insecure in this situation. You don’t see how your viewed by everyone - you have might my lovelies! Might and a strong Aura! You’re really impressing someone here…this is a heart matter with someone, you want to be closer with a person. The cards could be interpreted as a romantic connection traditionally, but please don’t feel yourself pressured to seeing this as a love interest. However the circumstances are, it feels like you were fighting for something, for recognition, for freedom, personal freedom and self determination. You fought for showing yourself the way you are. This fight could be fully internal, but it’s showing outside no matter what. It has made you focus on small things, or more, benign things - it was a major thing and had its toll on you. Maybe you doubted yourself, maybe you were doubted by others…but oh boy, this makes the ending even more sweeter because you won’t be seeing it at all, it will take you by surprise how everything changed for the better. You will not see it because you don’t understand the unexplainable in the plain.

Are you not comfortable maybe with the affection shown towards you? I got the feeling you don’t want to do something g stupid or f*vlt things up so you try to do nothing. You want to, but your self esteem didn’t really flourish. But this is a confirmation that you have nothing to worry about. This connection is already secured. What you need to do is step in to the person you’ve become. Claim the energy you fought so much for. Take the initiative. Talk in good favor for yourself and the other persons. Don’t worry. Everything will fall into place. It will feel quite exhausting and emotional for you, but you will feel so delighted and cared for afterwards. This is much much less complicated than you think.

Pile 3 - a chest bound in gold and silvery

TW for Trauma. I will speak very directly and if you can’t do this right now, feel free to skip. My heart goes out to you.

You don’t understand the violence you inhibit. My lovelies. I’m very sorry for the tragedy that has happened to you. You seem very overwhelmed by it. The worst is over, in fact it is all over, but not for you. You can’t heal. You’re scared. I understand. You have walls to protect you, but these also hold intact many tactics and maneuvers to hurt people to hold you as the way you are. Damage control. You don’t understand how stiff you have become and how tyrannical you are behaving in a certain situation. It seems like it’s regarding another person. Who was involved In all of this, directly or indirectly, this is not important. You’re being emotionally immature, using the openness of the other person to hurt them bc to you it’s still a war, an evil war you need to protect yourself with all might. Manipulation based on fear. Trust is good, control is better. But also a incredibly high amount of trauma looming. I get it. This person is Someone you call family and/or home in your heart.

You may already feel it, but this will not end the way you want it to be. This can mean many things. Based on what you wanted. Because, you say many things in passion, in anger, in your feelings but how will it go? Where is the plan? Could you tell me the details?

What do you want, pile 3? You don’t know. That’s totally okay. But you’re also projecting much on this person, which is unfair. Distance yourself from this - take whatever it means to not remind yourself of it. I know. I know. I hated it as well. It feels cruel, like you’re scorned. What you need right now is to know what you want. And focus on that. Not obsessively, but with a grudge towards someone in your heart - no! What do you want and how can you achieve it and how do you want to achieve it? And believe me, once you refocus yourself, healing will be around the corner very soon…it will be hidden but a sweet sweet and lovely surprise to you. Faster than you think.

[seaphoam-writes]

A Father's Duty (26/?)

A Father's Duty on AO3

Summary: An encounter with a quantum fissure leaves Picard with more responsibility than he asked for, but he'll do what he always does—his duty.

Chapter 26

Will plays along, and they allow Louis to increase the ship’s speed by a warp factor of one for several minutes before returning the Enterprise to its original velocity. The boy’s hands are steady on the controls, but when he’s finished he stuffs them into his lap and looks quickly at Picard, who grins.

“Well done,” he praises, then adds in French, “If I didn’t know any better, I might assume you already had flight experience.”

Teaching Louis to pilot a shuttlecraft would have been entirely practical, given his and the other Data’s situation. Louis glances past Picard, where Picard guesses this reality’s Data is side-eyeing him back. Neither of them denies it.

Suspicion confirmed, Picard says, “Now, let’s let Ensign Gates return to her post.” He stands and turns to where Gates was waiting a polite distance away. “Thank you, Ensign.”

“Of course, Captain.” The young woman offers him a smile, and Picard decides that, however fun this all just was, he should be cautious when considering allowing it again in the future; he needs to maintain his appearance, ensure his crew doesn’t begin to believe he’s gone soft. Picard has no idea what Starfleet may attempt to leverage against him, but he imagines nepotism and the loss of his crew’s confidence would be quite detrimental to his case.

Head ducked, Louis slides from the chair and murmurs, “Merci—thank you,” before tucking himself against Picard’s side.

“You have the bridge, Number One.”

“Aye, sir.”

Will’s grinning broadly. It’s incredible that a man who excels at strategy can be so appallingly inept at masking his emotions. Or perhaps it’s that he puts in the effort only when necessary. In any case, Picard’s aware that he’s far from exuberant, so having an “uncle” who exudes sunshine from his every pore as Will Riker does will be good for Louis—at least, that’s what Picard tells himself as he herds Louis into his ready room and tries to ignore the sensation of that ray-like grin sizzling between his shoulder blades.

Once inside his ready room, Picard sits at his desk and Louis sprawls on the couch with Les Aventures de Tintin propped on his belly.

“Confortable?” he teases.

Comfortable?

Louis hunches bashfully, an impressive feat given his horizontality. “C'est OK?”

“Bien sûr.” Of course. His own father would have scolded him had he abused a piece of furniture in such a way, but Louis spent years squeezed into a shuttlecraft and Picard can’t fault him for stretching his body in any way that pleases him. “I’m only teasing you; sit however you want. But watch out for the painting.”

Louis shifts his foot so it’s not knocking against the picture frame. “C'est le même.”

It’s the same.

“The painting?” Picard asks.

“Everything.” His eyes rake the room slowly, snag on the desk. “Almost everything. It’s like your quarters. Same, but different.”

“Our quarters,” Picard corrects gently. He waits for Louis’s solemn answering nod before continuing. “What was different about your papa’s ready room?”

As awkward as it is for Picard to learn about his other self, he wants Louis to keep those memories alive, to preserve that version of his father, a man Picard hopes to live up to.

“He had a photo of us,” Louis replies. “And one of my drawings. And some of my books.”

“Were you in here often then?”

“Only when you and maman were both working late.”

“You preferred your papa’s ready room over stellar sciences?”

Louis says quietly. “I like how the ship sounds from here.”

“I do too,” Picard agrees—it’s why he’s often in his ready room even when he’s not on duty.  

They share a smile, and then Louis returns to reading and Picard settles in to review the relevant reports from the previous day. Several minutes of easy silence pass before Louis abruptly flattens his book to his chest and asks, “Papa? Why are we going to Earth?”

Picard looks up from his PADD. “Who told you we’re going to Earth?”

“Data.”

It was an oversight on his part, failing to predict that without explicit orders not to do so, one of his crew might reveal to Louis their current destination before Picard had a chance to discuss it with him.

Dread curling in his chest, threatening to hollow him out, Picard lays his PADD on the desk and folds his hands. “We’re going to Earth because Starfleet Command ordered us to.”

“Why did they order us to go to Earth?”

Perhaps, Picard muses, it would be easier if the boy were not so clever.

He takes a deep breath, says evenly, “They ordered us to go to Earth because I informed them that I now have a son, and that my son came to me from another quantum reality. They wish to meet you.”

“Why do they want to meet me?”

“Because you are proof that other quantum realities exist.”

Louis sits up, slowly. “Will they send me back?”

“No.”

“What if—”

“Louis, they cannot send you back. The rift you travelled through is closed, and there are no other rifts that we know of. Even if there were—even if they tried to send you back, I wouldn’t let them.”

Louis, his eyes wide and panicked, stands and rounds Picard’s desk with hurried, clumsy strides; the boy’s on a crash course, and Picard turns his chair just in time to catch him. He holds Louis tightly to his chest until he feels him let out a shaky breath, then says, “Je suis là, Louis. Parle moi.”

I’m here. Talk to me.

One of Louis’s hands is crushed between their bodies. It tightens in Picard’s shirt. “They tried to take me away from Data.”

“Who did?”

“Captain Amasov and Dr. Kelley.”

Picard isn’t familiar with a Dr. Kelley, but Joseph Amasov is the Captain of the Endeavor, which is the ship Louis and Data first took shelter on after they escaped Wolf 359.

“Starfleet isn’t going to try and take you away from me.” Picard prays that doesn’t end up being a lie. “The fact that you’re from another quantum reality is simply something they can’t ignore. They will want to run tests to prove whether or not that’s true, and they may want to ask you questions to determine the difference between your reality and ours—but that’s all, I promise. I’ll be with you the entire time. And so will Data.”

Louis swallows and nods, which cannot be particularly comfortable given that his face is buried against Picard’s shoulder. Picard’s not even certain how the boy’s able to breathe in such a position, but he holds Louis until Louis gently disengages, steps away and swipes roughly at his cheeks with a scowl.

“Tell me about Tintin,” he prompts.

Reassured, recovered, Louis grins.

-/-

Only several minutes have passed since Data left with Louis, Picard lost in thought—

He had of course discussed the arrangement with Louis first before requesting it of Data, and both had, amusingly, expressed identical relief and excitement at the simultaneous initiation and continuation of their relationship.

—when Beverly enters his ready room unannounced. From her expression and her gait Picard gathers she came with a purpose. His spine snaps straight, his entire body going taught, tense as a bowstring.

She sits across from him and crosses one leg over the other, angling her hips to the side in order to sling an elbow over the back of the chair. It’s overtly casual, but her piercing gaze sends a warning slither of ice into his stomach.

Did she time her appearance on purpose to catch him alone?

Very likely, he thinks grimly. He told her just that morning that Data would be watching Louis for him once Data’s shift ended.

“Deanna invited me to get lunch with her this afternoon,” she says.

Her voice is achingly sweet, like summer wine, and oh so dangerous.

Picard leans back, instinctively putting space between them in case she resorts to violence. “Yes, I know,” he replies, with manufactured mildness. “I was in the room when she extended that invitation.”

“I sensed that she wanted to talk about something specific.”

Picard sighs. There’s absolutely no point in concealing the truth. “It seems I was unusually cheerful this morning and she very easily deduced the reason why.”

Neither of them acknowledges what this implies, that Deanna was aware of his feelings prior to Picard revealing them to Beverly—that she’s been aware of Beverly’s feelings as week.

(Whatever their feelings actually are, said feelings being currently unarticulated.)

“Is there anything you don’t want me to say?” she asks, and here the moment turns fragile.

“You’re free to say whatever you wish.”

Picard thinks of his confession, admitting to Deanna that he’s loved Beverly for decades. He should have said those words to Beverly first.

“You and I should talk too,” he suggests.

“Yes.” Her tone implies this is a foregone conclusion. “Can I come over for dessert again?”

He hesitates—heart skipping a beat as his mind trips over the word dessert, wondering if it’s an innuendo—before he regains cognitive function and says, “Why don’t you join us for dinner?”

“I don’t want to monopolize your time. Or Guinan’s,” she amends with a raised eyebrow, “I hear she and Louis are getting along very well.”

Picard chuckles. “Yes, they’re quite smitten with each other.”

Beverly smiles and the tension dissolves, the air between them going soft and liquid. “What time should I come over?”

“Louis wants me to teach him how to play the flute, and I was planning on doing that after dinner. Why don’t you come over afterwards? Around 2000 hours?”

“2000 hours,” she agrees. She remains smiling at him for a long moment, their gazes locked, before finally asking, “Do you regret last night?”

“No.” And yes. He regrets that he betrayed Jack—and yet part of him regrets that he didn’t do it sooner. “Do you?”

She shakes her head. “No, I don’t.” And with that she stands.

Picard puts his hands on the armrests of his chair to push himself to his feet so he can walk her to the door but she’s coming around his desk and he freezes, able to move only his head as she bends over him, tilting his head back to receive her kiss.

It’s gentle, a delicate brush of her lips against his, just warmth and a hint of velvet, but he has to grip the chair arms to keep from touching her, to keep himself from taking her by the hips and pulling her into his lap.

After what feels like forever—what feels like an instant—she pulls away, one hand trailing lightly down the side of his face, along the underside of his jaw. And at the end, the slightest pressure, a light prick of her nails. Eyes closed, he sucks in a sharp breath and shivers.

“Dessert” was definitely an innuendo.

“See you tonight, Jean-Luc.”

She says his name like a caress, and when he opens his eyes, she’s gone.

[lampmanliveblogs]

And tonight on ”If The Lampman had just waited a few more seconds he would’ve gotten the answer to his questions,” we find out that there is indeed only one fire glyph in the water fountain spell and that there are two plant glyphs in the petrification spell and that all the glyphs are connected by straight lines.

And hey, don’t dismiss the water spell just because it’s weak. Access to clean, drinkable water is essential for survival and that spell could really come in handy if you ever find yourself stuck someplace without it.

With the help of the Echo Mouse Musse, Luz has been studying Philip’s diary to figure out new glyph combos… and suddenly both the petrification and hellish hand spells make a lot more sense.

Anyway, Luz is trying to find some spell that will help her complete the portal door. I suppose it makes sense to fine-comb the diary for whatever information she can, but I’m not sure Philip’s research into glyph magic is what’s going to help her complete the door. It seems to be more an issue of construction or power.

Hearing Philip mentioned this early in the episode gives me hope that we might learn more about him… and by extension, Belos. Because they are the same person.

YES, I agree Luz, backstory story please Eda. What’s it gonna be? How you met Raine? How you met Hooty? The origin of the Clawthorne clan?

Raine origins it is! We open with teen!Eda and teen!Lilith walking and talking. Eda is reading some questions for Lilith, in particular about the Titan’s humors. We all know what those are, so I won’t go into detail.

(Eda is kicking a grudgby ball because she and Lilith were both in the grudgby team)

As for the title… I’ve no idea what it’s supposed to mean, but I will probably come to find out in time.

The awesomeness that is seeing teen!Lilith is diminished greatly when I’m reminded that this is the same Lilith that will, within a few short months, curse her own sister, a decision that will haunt them both for many years to come. 

We also see here a demonstration of Eda’s talents. We knew that (before she lost her magic) she was more powerful than Lilith, magically speaking. But here we see that she was also academically superior to Lilith, having memorized complex details on particular potion ingredients and how they’re affected by the varying stages of the moon, something Lilith didn’t know.

It’s kinda interesting, because between the siblings, Lilith has always been the one to strike me as book smart, as the one who’d memorize the exact numbers. Her big exhibit in the museum was on balusters, what more do I need to say.

Present Eda (and past Eda too for that matter) doesn’t strike me as book smart in that same way… though I suppose that just lends credence to the old adage about judging the dog by its hairs. Maybe Eda is both talented and studious, as opposed to Lilith who is more studious than talented.

And to be fair to present Eda, it’s happened often that she brings up something she’s read in a book and she clearly knows a lot of different types of magic. It’s just less obvious that she is actually really well-read and educated because she is also a criminal outlaw who sells literal garbage.

(oh, and Eda casually summons a large plant, further showing how even though she wasn’t allowed to study multiple tracks like she wanted, she is still at least somewhat knowledgable in multiple forms of magic)

((oh and I guess we now also know the date where Belos took power. the 40:th of Scabuary. This is useful information))

(((but no, wait, it kinda is in that it confirms what was hinted before, that the Boiling Isles has a different calendar to the Human Realm. Hence why Philip had trouble figuring out how long he had actually been there. So it’s actually really obvious if you think about it for a few seconds, but hey. that ”cartoon from the forties” joke from escaping expulsion still troubles on my mind)))

[wingedblooms]

Hi, thank you so much for answering!

The following is a link to theories on BrycexAzriel on Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/crescentcitysjm/comments/tao6hp/i_think_i_know_who_azriels_mate_is_and_its_not/

I believe there are more, but I can't find them now. I think I've kind of debunked the second theory on this list. SJM held the live with her friend while she was editing CC2 and CC1 was already out. The first book already confirms that Bryce was born in 15010, so this really could just be coincidence. I've read on a post that Bryce was born in January, however, but I'm re-reading CC so I'll have to confirm that.

Thank you for sharing this link! I’m sorry it took me so long to respond—I’ve been busy with family stuff lately and this turned out longer than I anticipated. Please keep in mind these are just my thoughts in response to your original question and the theory you shared. Warning: TOG, CC, and ACOTAR spoilers are below.

(1) Date

The date is an interesting connection, but I think you’re right that it might just be a coincidence. I couldn’t find anything indicating January after a quick search; if anyone finds evidence to the contrary, be sure to share.

(2) Prophecy

While I agree that there might be more to the prophecy involving the Starsword and Truth-Teller, I don’t see evidence that it indicates Bryce and Azriel are mates. When the weapons are mentioned in HOEAB, we learn they are paired weapons that work together:

Ruhn shook his head. “The sword doesn’t work like that. Aside from being picky about who draws it, the sword has no power without the knife.”

“The sword was part of a pair,” Ruhn said to him. “A long-bladed knife was forged from the iridium mined from the same meteorite, which fell on our old world.” The world the Fae had left to travel through the Northern Rift and into Midgard. “But we lost the knife eons ago. Even the Fae Archives have no record of how it might have been lost, but it seems to have been sometime during the First Wars.” [HOEAB]

The knife was lost during the conflict that Theia and her family were involved in. And when the paired sword and knife reunite, the Fae people will be reunited as well:

“It’s another of the Fae’s countless inane prophecies,” Bryce muttered. “When knife and sword are reunited, so shall our people be.”

We see this reunion play out at the end of HOSAB: Bryce lands in Prythian, Azriel brings her to meet the IC, and that is when the Starsword [Gwydion] and TT glow together.

“What the fuck?” The knife could have been the twin of the Starsword: black hilted and bladed.

It was its twin. The Starsword began to hum within its sheath, glittering white light leaking from where leather met the dark hilt. The dagger—

The male dropped the dagger to the plush carpet. All of them retreated as it flared with dark light, as if in answer. Alpha and Omega.

“Gwydion,” the dark-haired female whispered, indicating the Starsword. [hosab]

Ruhn indicates that the sword doesn’t work without the knife, so we have a hint that they might do something special together. Sarah describes them as twins, the Alpha and Omega [meaning, the beginning and end]. Opposing forces that create balance is a recurring theme in her multiverse. In HOSAB, Hypaxia uses this balance to summon the dead:

“It’s a symbol of balance,” she explained, moving away a foot, but keeping the dagger at her side. Her crown of cloudberries seemed to glow with an inner light. “Two intersecting triangles. Male and female, dark and light, above and below…and the power that lies in the place where they meet.” Her face became grave. “It is in that place of balance where I’ll focus my power.” [hosab]

And before the crossover, Feyre envisions this balance between Elain [light and life of dawn and spring—the beginning] and Azriel [shadows and terrors of night and death—the end] when they hold the knife together and their eyes meet. TT, which is later described as dark light, is the bridge of connection between them: their dark and light meet and create a blend of the two.

“This is Truth-Teller,” he told her softly. “I won’t be using it today—so I want you to.” […] And now, standing amongst the sighing meadow grasses in his Illyrian armor, all seven Siphons gleaming … Elain’s eyes widened at the obsidian-hilted blade in Azriel’s scarred hand. The runes on the dark scabbard.

Elain looked up at Azriel, their eyes meeting, his hand still lingering on the hilt of the blade. I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection…that knife. [acowar]

Their imagery mimics the reunited weapons, and their behaviors are repeatedly paralleled [see twining souls, two sides of the same coin, and a perfect blend]. When Azriel offers TT to Elain, her eyes widen just like they do when she watches the display of his shadows. I’ve always wondered if she was just impressed or if something more is happening that we can’t see or hear. @offtorivendell, @merymoonbeam, @psychee92, and I have theorized that TT might sing for Elain like the Starsword sings for Bryce. You can read more about those links here:

Will Elain Archeron become the shadowsinger’s knife? [@offtorivendell]

Sing me [@merymoonbeam]

The space between [@wingedblooms]

Why Elain giving back TT is significant [@psychee92]

So, if more is going on here with her expressive eyes, does Elain recognize the blade from a vision? Is it singing to her like the Harp sang to Nesta? Does it call her sister? Starborn and Made fae alike are able to animate Made objects and are viewed as kin, creating a unique connection between Bryce and the Archeron sisters [who bridge the divide between mortal and fae, have been blessed with unique powers, and landed in the Night Court for a reason]. Could that reason be related to Theia’s line? Have the descendants of Theia’s daughters finally been reunited as well as the Fae in general? Some of us suspect that the Archeron sisters may be connected to the unknown daughter of Theia. Theia’s family took an active part in protecting Prythian when they realized they were lured to Midgard by the Asteri. Is it possible that Fate has brought Bryce and the Archerons together in the Night Court for the same reason? At the very least, Rhysand and Ruhn seem to be related [likely through Avallen as they have similar magic to the Night Court, and/or Starborn heritage].

I believe Sarah wants us to remember the TT scene between Azriel and Elain because she brings it back up in ACOFAS [the book that sets up future stories]:

“You honestly think he’d ever give up Truth-Teller?”

“He gave it to Elain,” Mor said, admiring a moonstone necklace in the counter’s glass case.

“She gave it back,” I amended, failing to block out the image of the black blade piercing through the King of Hybern’s throat. But Elain had given it back—had pressed it into Azriel’s hands after the battle, just as he had pressed it into hers before. And then walked away without looking back.

Mor hummed to herself.

To me, that hum seems like Mor is humoring Feyre rather than agreeing with her. Sarah also brings up other scenes between Elain and Azriel in ACOSF and I believe it’s because those moments are still relevant to the plot and whatever exists between them. We have many unresolved questions. Why is Sarah repeatedly drawing connections between them? Why did Azriel feel so strongly about rescuing her from Hybern, and then specifically remind his friend about it? Why did he give TT to her after refusing to let anyone else touch it for hundreds of years, only for her to wield it like a beast with spectacular precision? As someone who hears things others do not, did he suspect it might sing for her? Was the knife itself drawn to Elain, and is it bound to return to her? Or might Bryce wield both when she returns to Midgard? I have a feeling that, like the Starsword, only those who are considered kin [Made or Starborn heir] can animate the dagger and wield its power. @offtorivendell talks about the potential connection between Bryce [light] and Elain [sight] in a reblog of Hope shining through the Void. Might they work together with other members of the IC? Bryce’s light flowed into the Starsword and activated it before she killed the unkillable reaper. And Elain just…stepped out of a shadow behind Hybern and dealt him a death blow with TT. Did she activate TT with her sight so she could appear at the right place and time in order to strike true? Truth-Teller does represent dark light, and Elain’s sight may be activated by darkness like others with power of sight in Sarah’s multiverse. This would be very interesting to read in the crossover.

(3) Mates

I may be missing something in the theory, but I don’t see evidence that bearing the prophesied weapons means Azriel and Bryce are mates, especially when Bryce and Hunt have already accepted each other as mates.

So … maybe they were already mates, by that Fae definition. Maybe Urd had long ago bound their souls, and they’d needed all this time to realize it. But did it even matter? If it was fate or choice to be together?

Even if they weren’t mates [though I’m fairly sure they are because, like Rowaelin and Feysand, their scents and magics merge when they are intimate], I’m not sure it would truly matter. They chose each other. And just to make it more interesting, Sarah tore them apart [like she did with Rowaelin and Feysand] and sent Bryce on a mission in which she is desperate to save her mate. It seems likely she will rescue him with support from Hel and maybe [since she’s dropped a hint about an army traveling with the power of the Trove] Fae she has reunited with in Prythian. From a narrative perspective, I’m not sure what purpose another mate reveal in a different world would serve in the story at this point. But I do think we will see love for her chosen mate propel Bryce forward and inspire her to do the impossible, which is another recurring theme in the CC series.

So, in terms of predicting what is coming next [theory-wise], I think Bryceriel is unlikely to happen based on the available evidence, but I have no problem with people exploring or writing about it as a ship. Fandom should be fun and people should be able to ship what they enjoy.

[animechristi]

Demon Slayer: Hating Sin, Loving the Sinner

I put this work in the hands of Mary, our Mother, so that she may make it pleasing to Jesus Christ

Philippians 4:8 “Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious, if there is anything worthy of praise think of these things.”

What is this about? Well, I wanted to write down:

why I think Demon Slayer does a good job of contrasting Good and Evil, as well as Justice and Mercy. 

maybe show how Christianity can confirm but also go beyond some of the themes presented in the work

P.S. This article is probably better understood if one has either seen the first season of the show or read the first 5 volumes of the manga. 

First, disclaimers:

Originally a manga, the animation studio Ufotable made what I believe is a beautiful anime adaptation. As of 2022 the anime adaptation is incomplete. The story does have some graphic depictions of violence even if they are animated. I’ve seen a 17+ rating for the anime and while not an absolute rule, I think it’s a good starting place.

There will be of course plot spoilers in this commentary.

Now, the boilerplate:

Demon Slayer takes place in Taisho era Japan (i.e. A.D. 1912-1926). The premise is that there are powerful creatures called demons who eat humans. It may sound simple but that’s the beauty of it. These demons are only active at night as sunlight will disintegrate them. Demons possess super strength and rapid healing abilities for severe wounds. Some will have some type of magical power that becomes stronger the more humans they consume. Besides sunlight, demons can really only be killed by being decapitated with a Nichirin sword (a sword made out of a metal that has absorbed sunlight). I guess it’s still technically the sunlight that kills them. Pretty simple right?

Pretty early on we learn that there is actually only one demon who is creating all the other demons. The root is traced back to a single source. Also early on, Tanjiro, our protagonist, finds his family murdered and his sister, Nezuko, transformed into a demon but here’s the catch: after initially attacking him she recognizes her brother and stops. 

After muzzling his demon sister, Tanjiro sets out to join the Demon Slayer Corp. (pretty self explanatory) with two goals in mind. 

Find this original demon and kill him.

Find a way to turn Nezuko back into a human.

As the story progresses it’s mentioned that Nezuko’s body may have changed to regain energy from sleeping instead of eating humans. As such she sleeps during the day and sometimes comes out at night to help Tanjiro with his demon slaying job. A cute sibling dynamic.

Okay now to the good stuff.

I think what makes Demon Slayer so easy to approach is its simple story. Many times it feels like anime shows have crazy spiraling plotlines that never end. (I’m looking at you DBZ, Naruto, One Piece, Bleach, etc...)

If we all enjoy a straightforward story, then what about Demon Slayer makes it so straightforward? I argue it is the strict dichotomy between good and evil that is portrayed throughout the show. I’m not sure where the idea “evil is always more complicated than we think” came from, but it’s a horrible one. Early on in the show, Tanjiro’s teacher, who understands Nezuko as an exception to demons, says that if she does ever kill anyone, Tanjiro must immediately kill her and then himself. Now I realize most of us can see the japanese honor code seeping through here but his mentor is making the point that right now she is in a quasi-demon state, if she should become a demon (i.e. by eating/attacking people) she is no longer your sister – kill her. We do not tolerate nor do we make exceptions for evil, we destroy it completely. 

You might counter that since Nezuko was transformed into a demon why doesn’t Tanjiro or his teacher kill her now. You are raising a valid concern but I would respond that even though the disposition towards evil is within her it has not been carried out. Something the show points out in the fact she doesn’t eat or attack humans. We might say there is a concupiscence within her but it is not acted out in the will, it has been restrained (both physically and mentally).

To me, the clear presentation of good and evil is refreshing, especially if you’ve read a manga called Tokyo Ghoul, which is one that I actually wouldn’t recommend to anyone. Ghouls in that story are like the demons in Demon Slayer except they don’t die by sunlight, so they can do more human things. The protagonist of Tokyo Ghoul is made into a ghoul via surgery and instead of trying to become human again, the series progresses into a nebulous philosophy on the coexistence of humans and ghouls. The closest we get to this in Demon Slayer is a demon who used to be a doctor who has modified herself so that she only needs a little blood to survive. She also steps up to help Tanjiro find a cure to turn his sister back into a human presumably because she wants the same thing and not remain a demon forever!

Let’s talk about Justice and Mercy

And for this we need a little more story summary...

What I’ve said of Demon Slayer so far may have a “Joshua mowed down Amalek by the edge of his sword” or “Samuel hewed Agag to pieces before the Lord” type of vibe. And I know I said the strict division of humanity and demons is what I find refreshing but, the author (Koyoharu Gotōge) does a great job of contrasting Tanjiro’s hatred of evil with his overflowing love and charity. It gives off a sense of what I refer to as “Hating the sin, loving the sinner.”

During the Natagumo Mountain Arc there are two interactions I want to focus on.

Tanjiro killing the mother spider demon

Shinobu killing the sister spider demon

The first takes place in episode 16. The mother spider demon has killed numerous demon slayers. Upon seeing Tanjiro she realizes how much fear she lives in of Rui, the demon running the spider family, who himself kills any demon he is angry with. She thinks of trying to defend and kill Tanjiro but realizes that if she were to die she would be freed from her constant fear of death and abuse by Rui. What happens next is important: 

She lowers her defenses and surrenders to Tanjiro’s attack.

Tanjiro sees this and switches his “Striking tide” attack to one called “Blessed rain after the drought” killing her painlessly.

Now it may seem obvious why people like this so much. It not only shows Tanjiro’s keen observation of details in the heat of battle and his ability to change forms mid strike, but it also shows his merciful side in choosing to deal out a painless death. But what can be overlooked here is that the spider demon still dies! Yes there is mercy, but no one - neither she nor Tanjiro - tries to make her crimes seem less than what they are.  

The second interaction takes place in episode 20 where Kocho Shinobu, a high ranking demon slayer, confronts the sister spider demon. Unlike Tanjiro’s scene, this one has a bit more dialogue so I’ll provide a summary below.

1.) Spider demon once captured, begs for mercy and says Rui forced her to kill people

2.) When asked how many she killed, she lies saying "5, but I was forced to"

3.) Shinobu says she saw 14 other cocoons on the western side of the mountain, and 

      guesses the sister demon may have possibly killed 80 people

4.) Shinobu wants an accurate number so she’ll knows how severe a punishment to deal 

     out (note: she isn’t planning to kill the demon, but only punish for sins)

5.) She says if the demon goes unpunished the murdered people will go without justice

6.) After she’s suffered her sins will be forgiven, since she’s a demon she won’t die either

7.) Demon rejects this & retalitates. Shinobu says "I can see we'll never be friends"

8.) Shinobu kills her with venom instead of decapitation which may be more painful?

This drawn out conversation offers us more insight than Tanjiro’s encounter.. What we see here is a rejection of mercy because it comes packaged with justice. The demon is willing to admit she’s killed people but tries to pass it off as her being forced to. The old “I didn’t actually want to do those things.” There is a hope to get off easy because someone coerced her (so she claims). After being found out, she corrects the number to 14, but Shinobu again suggests this too is inaccurate. In order to be properly pardoned she needs to be punished for those she killed. Shinobu even mentions that since she’s a demon with regenerative powers she won’t die from this punishment and there won’t be any lasting sign either. There will be pain but the end will be better.

Perhaps this fills the demon with despair in that she is unable to foresee a good outcome among an arduous or painful path. It is also fair to say that some of the punishments Shinobu mentions are quite painful. Either way, she not only refuses but also retaliates. After realizing that the demon isn’t going to repent, Shinobu understands that the only thing she can do is kill her (subtitled dialogue from before “I can see we’ll never be friends”).

The second interaction takes place in episode 20 where Kocho Shinobu, a high ranking demon slayer, confronts the sister spider demon. Unlike Tanjiro’s scene, this one has a bit more dialogue so I’ll provide a summary below.

1.) Spider demon once captured, begs for mercy and says Rui forced her to kill people

2.) When asked how many she killed, she lies saying "5, but I was forced to"

3.) Shinobu says she saw 14 other cocoons on the western side of the mountain, and 

      guesses the sister demon may have possibly killed 80 people

4.) Shinobu wants an accurate number so she’ll knows how severe a punishment to deal 

     out (note: she isn’t planning to kill the demon, but only punish for sins)

5.) She says if the demon goes unpunished the murdered people will go without justice

6.) After she’s suffered her sins will be forgiven, since she’s a demon she won’t die either

7.) Demon rejects this & retalitates. Shinobu says "I can see we'll never be friends"

8.) Shinobu kills her with venom instead of decapitation which may be more painful?

This drawn out conversation offers us more insight than Tanjiro’s encounter.. What we see here is a rejection of mercy because it comes packaged with justice. The demon is willing to admit she’s killed people but tries to pass it off as her being forced to. The old “I didn’t actually want to do those things.” There is a hope to get off easy because someone coerced her (so she claims). After being found out, she corrects the number to 14, but Shinobu again suggests this too is inaccurate. In order to be properly pardoned she needs to be punished for those she killed. Shinobu even mentions that since she’s a demon with regenerative powers she won’t die from this punishment and there won’t be any lasting sign either. There will be pain but the end will be better.

Perhaps this fills the demon with despair in that she is unable to foresee a good outcome among an arduous or painful path. It is also fair to say that some of the punishments Shinobu mentions are quite painful. Either way, she not only refuses but also retaliates. After realizing that the demon isn’t going to repent, Shinobu understands that the only thing she can do is kill her (subtitled dialogue from before “I can see we’ll never be friends”).

Note that “Sister Spider Demon” refused to do either of these properly, and it was because of this she lost her chance. How many of us have ever told the priest we’re not going to do our assigned penance and then expect him to grant us absolution? NONE! It is precisely the Christian message that through suffering we are purified and brought closer to God, who Himself suffered in the person of Jesus Christ! As is the case in most of the new testament, this refers to unjust suffering and affliction but it also refers to all suffering.  

If Demon Slayer really takes place in our world’s Taisho era Japan, then Heaven and Hell are realties. And although we don’t necessarily have power to claim the final destination of these two souls, the evidence seems to suggest they’ll be in different places (or states if you prefer).

Mother spider demon accepts death without putting up a fight and is rewarded with a painless passing. Sister demon fights and once subdued begs for mercy only to lie and refuse the offer. She ends with what seems like a very painful death. 

We must cast off our old self and die to ourself in order to gain life. 

Finally a short note:

It is difficult for us humans, but it is the Catholic way to use a “Both/And” approach to many topics. There are many dangers in over emphasizing God’s Justice or His Mercy. But we know that properly seeing one gives illumination to the other. Only by fully understanding what we deserve from our sins can we rejoice in God’s mercy that much more. One example: Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus which stems from His Passion and Death is inherently linked with Devotion to His Divine Mercy. 

Perhaps a few parting words could be thus:

Evil must be cut out from our lives and it can be painful most times

Even with all our sins, God offers us His gracious gift of mercy.

“Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” (Job 2:10)

Love the Sacrament of Penance since it brings us closer to the Most Blessed Sacrament